#also his muffled giggles THIS IS MY PARTY AND I WILL CRY IF I WANT TO LET ME TELL U THAT

[hyunpic]

not hyunjin going “ow.. eww” when they had a staring contest 🤣

[starkeysbunny]

the cut that always bleeds

pairing - rafe x thorton!reader

summary - when topper throws a party at your house, you hide in your room this time. you couldn't face rafe, you couldn't do it. and when you get too curious, you see him with the source of your breakup. but somehow, the cuts always get bandaged up, and he's right back in your arms.

warnings - cursing, breakups, toxic lowkey, lots of angst yall srry i love angsty shit

i purse my lips, sitting on the balcony outside my room as my eyes wander over the party downstairs. my brother topper was throwing a party, but i opted to stay up here.

topper’s best friend is my ex, rafe. and it was less than desirable for me to see him just a month after we broke up. i had avoided him this long, and i’d like to keep it that way.

my fingers tap against my cheek in boredom as i stare below. i see topper cheering kelce as he does a handstand on the keg. people making out, jumping in the pool.

then, in the very corner of the party—i spot rafe. and he’s with someone. a girl. she turns her head over her shoulder as she laughs obnoxiously at one of his jokes. sofia.

i groan, rolling my eyes. i lean back and watch as he has a smug smile on his face, enjoying her over-the-top reactions to his every move.

we barely broke up three weeks ago. he couldn’t be a little heartbroken?

i feel a tear fall down my cheek and sigh. “fuck.” i mutter under my breath. i quickly wipe the tears and stand from the balcony, going back into my room.

—

rafe cameron

my eyes are on sofia as she laughs, but when she turns slightly, my eyes flick to the girl they really want to see. i look up at the balcony, seeing y/n sitting up there, away from the party.

her eyebrows are furrowed together, that pouty look on her face i grew to love. i notice her wipe her cheek—was she crying? then she gets up, and walks inside. i press my lips together, my eyes remaining on the now closed balcony doors.

“rafe!” i look down at the feeling of sophia’s hand on my arm. she giggles. “what’re you looking at?”

my eyes flick back up to the doors. “nothing.” i mumble. “you know what, i-i’ll be right back.” i brush her off, pushing past her without another word.

i started talking to sophia at the party for one purpose. to make y/n jealous. and i did that. but it didn’t make me feel how i thought it would. i didn’t feel pride, or smug. i felt like an asshole.

i hated seeing her cry. even if we had broken up. and.. it was also my fault. fuck. i’m an idiot.

“yo, where you goin’ man?” topper chuckles, patting my shoulder as i go to head inside.

“uh.. getting another beer.” i make up a lie.

topper furrowed his eyebrows, then seemed to sober up with a single sigh. “man, she doesn’t wanna see you. that’s why she’s up there. leave her be.” topper says, his protective brother voice kicking in.

i roll my eyes. “i-i just need to make sure she’s okay.”

“rafe—“

“no.” i say firmly, looking directly at topper. “i’m gonna make sure she’s okay, alright?” i spit.

topper rolls his eyes. “whatever, bro. but if she asks me to throw you out, i’m throwin’ you out.”

“whatever.” i dismiss, heading inside and up the stairs. a route that was once an instinct.

—

i sat at the edge of my bed, my fingers brushing over the heart locket in my hand. the locket rafe gave me. there was an ‘r’ engraved on the front of the gold piece. and inside, was a small picture of us.

i don’t know why i kept it. maybe some stupid small hope, that we’d get back together. but i knew that wasn’t true. it was more of a damaging thought, than a healing one.

my head looks up as i hear a knock on my door. “topper?” i call out.

there’s silence for a moment, i gently put down the locket, getting up slowly to approach the door.

“n-no.” a muffled voice comes out, and i recognize it right away. “it’s rafe.”

i freeze, unable to move. i don’t know what to do. do i open it, listen to him? do i tell him to fuck off? do i throw him out? do i ignore him?

“look, i-i just… fuck.” i hear him mutter, trying to find the words to say. i knew him so well. too well. i knew what he was thinking. he couldn’t get the words out. he’s not good at expressing how he feels, putting it into words.

i stay silent, giving him the room to speak. i remain unmoving, not making a sound.

“i wanted to check on you.” he breathes out.

i hear the door creak slightly as he leans against it. he sighs, using my silence as room to vent. maybe part of him hoped i wasn’t even in here. maybe talking to my door was.. closure.

“i saw you up here all alone i just.. you should come down. the party is fun..” he huffs a chuckle then. “no, no it’s not. you know i hate that shit. i don’t even know why i came..”

i sigh, feeling tears brim in my eyes the more i listen to his voice. the voice i used to hear in the mornings when i woke up. whether he was here or not, he'd call me, just to say good morning. i take a deep shaken breath as he continues to talk.

"i know you saw sophia and i, alright? b-but, fuck she means nothing y/n. it was fucking stupid, i just wanted to make you jealous. i-i don't know why, because i'm the one who fucked up and lost you in the first place."

i take a seat on the edge of my bed, feeling tears fall down my cheeks as my hand covers my mouth to hide any sobs. it was his fault.

a month before we broke up, he lost his dad. and i tried to be there for him, but he'd push me away. i was understanding, because he was grieving. then, one day i was at the country club and i saw him venting to sophia.

she was working the bar, serving him and other customers drinks. and he was expressing his feelings to her about his dad. when i was there, coming to tannyhill to make sure he was okay, and he'd tell me to go away. and here he was, pouring his feelings out to the girl at the bar.

"i'm sorry, i just, i kept pushing you away because i didn't want you to see me like that." he admits.

at this, i stand up, going to the door and opening it. he almost falls over, staggering over his feet as he was leaning against the door. i press my lips together to try not to laugh as he stands back up, brushsing his hands over his shirt.

"you didn't want me to see you like that, but you didn't care if she did?" i say, my voice breaking.

"yeah, cause she's a fuckin' stranger. she wasn't my girl, who i value so fuckin' much." he sighs, his head dipping down slightly to meet my eyeline. "i-i know it doesn't make any sense. i should want to open up to you, but i just didn't want you to think any less of me."

his dad raised him to think men didn't cry, men weren't weak, instilling the phrase 'man up' deep into his vocabulary. so, i understand why he had those reservations to open up. but, it's the fact that he went to her, of all people. and she stood at the bar, nursing his whiskey while her hand gently rubbed his arm and she looked at him with bambi eyes.

it hurt.

i sniffle, tears falling down my cheeks. "why her though? what about her was so much more comforting and trusting than your own fucking girlfriend, rafe!" my voices raises slightly in pain, and i take a deep breath, turning so my back was facing him.

"baby—"

"don't." i snap, turning back to him. "don't call me that, don't do that."

he sighs in frustration, his hand coming up to his head and clenching in and out of a fist.

i sigh, rolling my eyes. "what'd you come up here to say, what do you want?"

his eyes soften and he pauses, looking over my features. "to—to i don't know, i was worried. i saw you up here i-i couldn't just—“

"rafe, you don't get to be worried." i sigh, turning around and going to sit on my bed.

he runs a hand over his hair, his jaw clenching. "i'm sorry, okay? i-i don't care about her, alright? everytime i look at her, i just wish she was you."

i scoff. "wow, that's music to my ears." i say sarcastically.

he rolls his eyes. "alright, c'mon, you know i'm not good at this shit."

"no, please continue telling me how you are with someone else but think about me while you fuck her."

he groans. "y/n, that's not what i fucking said! that's not what i meant, at all! you know that!"

i roll my eyes, throwing my arms up at my sides. i stand from the bed. "you think that makes me feel good?" i scoff. "hearing you say you regret everything and that she means nothing? that you look at her and think of me? you think that makes me forgive you?"

"no, no of course not--"

"why couldn't you just come to me?" i ask, my voice breaking. "i tell you everything, because i trust you. you know everything about me. and you couldn't open up to me about your grief? but you could open up to someone you don't even know?" tears slip down my cheeks as my eyebrows furrow. i look up at him confused, just trying to understand.

"i-i don't know. it was fucking stupid alright? i guess i-i was just embarassed. i wanted to be strong for you, and i wasn't." he sighs, his voice breaks the slightest bit. "look, i-i can't fuckin' be without you, alright. this has been the worst month of my life, baby. please. even if it kills me, i need you. even if it kills you. i can't breathe without you."

i hiccup through tears, my eyes not leaving his at his confession. my breathing slows. i notice his eyes tear up, something i've never seen from him before. i study his eyes as they water. searching for lies, for manipulation, but it wasn't there. he doesn't lie to me, he never does. even though he makes shitty choices, even though he is so bad for me, he's never once lied to me.

"i can't let you go. even if i should. i know i'm a shitty boyfriend, alright? but, i-i'm tryin' okay? i'm fucking trying. i know i don't deserve you. i know i should let you go, but i can't. no one can care about you like i do. even if they're better for you, they'll never care and protect you like i do."

i take a deep, shaken breath. it was true. how could we be so bad for each other, but not want anyone else? i say i hate him, but it's not true. how can you hate and love someone at the same time? it hurts, but it hurts so good.

"rafe.." i sniffle, my voice cracking.

"don't cry, please. i hate seein' you cry." he steps closer to me till he's right in front of me. and he does what i least expected. he gets on his knees right in front of me. his hands find their home on my hips as he clings to me like a vice. "please." he whispers. "i promise, i'll try to be better. i-i'll talk to you. i do trust you, okay? i was just scared."

a sob escapes my lips as i look down at him, my hand naturally coming to the back of his neck. no matter what, we always came back. every time. our wounds were ripped open over and over again by each other. then every single time, a few weeks later, we'd come back and kiss them better.

my hand moves from the back of his neck to his cheek, my thumb moving against the skin gingerly. "okay." i whisper through tears.

and once again, we bandaged up the cut that always bleeds.

[nyrasbloodyclover]

who else decodes you? (modern!aegon targaryen x reader)

cw: alcoholism, eating disorder, reader wants to fix aegon, aegon is pathetic, but i love him

a/n: i am finally writing fics again! another malachy and another aegon fic coming up, but i think i'll continue writing for daemon bc i miss him.

Targaryens were very strange. Well, I was only friends with Helaena, but being her friend also meant spending time with her family, as much as I didn't want to. She always invites me to their dinners and movie nights, so naturally, her brothers were also there. Their mother was always warm and welcoming, Alicent wasn't the issue, at least not to me. Nor was Aemond. He ignored me most of the time, which I had no problem with.

Whenever I stayed over, Aegon always found a way to bother me. When we watch a movie, he keeps tugging on my hair, or touching my neck in a very annoying way, I slapped his hand once and caused all of the attention to focus on us, which was so embarrassing  I immediately went home.

When I started dating my first and only boyfriend he somehow found out and mocked me until Helaena started yelling. She never does that.

Aegon was walking down the hallway when he saw me and Haelena sitting on her bed, with an open door, so he took that as his invite after hearing our conversation. He peeked from the door. "He's only waiting the right time. To fuck you, I mean."

My cheeks started burning. "Are you jealous?" I had no better answer to his remark.

"How could I be?" He grinned, ready for me to bite back, but when I didn't, he just giggled, "You'll just feel used after he's done with you."

Then Helaena snapped and kicked him out, cursing, which was the funniest thing, I couldn't even feel bad.

It turned out he was right, but not the way he thought. I couldn't stop thinking about his words, so I broke up with that guy. And then I found out he started dating someone, only to fuck her then leave her. Almost the whole school was talking about it, so he saved me from that humiliation. I was never going to admit it, though.

He was the strangest and most rebellious from the three of them. Aegon was drinking. Aegon was fucking. Aegon smoked and went to parties he was not supposed to. Actually, he was just harming himself, but nobody wanted to see that. It was like everybody turned their heads when it came to him, but it wasn't my place to comment on it.

He occupied my mind more than I'd like to admit. With all his unnecessary comments and devilish grins, Aegon got under my skin. 

Helaena once accidentally left her charger at my house and asked me to bring it to her. I had nothing to do, so I immediately went to her. What I didn't know was that nobody was home.

Well except for, obviously, Aegon.

I knocked once, then twice, but when no one opened I just entered. The house was empty. Or so I thought for the first few seconds. Until I heard muffled sobbing.

My whole body went rigid. I was invading someone's privacy at that very moment and I needed to go back home, but I couldn't. I knew the cries were coming from Aegon and it made everything worse. 

I went upstairs, dragging my feet towards his room. I didn't have to do anything. I could just go back and pretend I didn't hear anything. He was probably waiting to be alone, to have a moment to break down and I was ruining it.

"Aegon?" I thought he was going to be startled, yell at me to go away, but he didn't even acknowledge my presence. He was on the floor of his room, covered in vomit and spit, probably, with an empty bottle of god knows what. I wanted to cry.

His mouth was half opened, face relaxed for a second, then it became painful again, new set of tears coming through. I kneeled beside, holding his shoulders, "Aegon, can you hear me?" I wasn't panicking because it would do more harm than good. I gently pushed away his sweaty hair. 

I didn't know what was happening but I was going to help him before someone could see him like this. It was obvious that he did stuff like that when no one was near.

I ran to the bathroom first and took some towels, then to the kitchen for a glass of water. I somewhat had experience with things like this.

It was the middle of the day and he was wasted. 

I went to him and took his head into my lap while I cleaned away the vomit.

"I'm sorry." He turned his head away from me.

"It's okay," I whispered, "But please cooperate. You need to get into the shower." Aegon said nothing, but let me continue cleaning his face and neck.

"Come on, let me take off your shirt, Aegon please."

I somehow got him out of his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. He was so beautiful, and it hurt me to watch him like that. What a pretty, broken creature. He had tattoos over his arms and ribs that were much more prominent than last summer. We went to the pool together with Helaena and Aemond and I couldn't help but notice that change.

We managed to get into the bathroom and I dragged him under the shower, letting cold water shock him. His hair was soaking wet, I took another towel and tried to dry him as much as I could.

My heart was racing, he was completely depending on me in that moment and I was so scared someone was going to see us. 

We were in his room once again, Aegon on his bed, under the covers. I quickly cleaned his room, got rid of the dirty clothes and towels I used and hid the bottle. I sat beside him.

"Aegon, you need to eat something." 

"No."

"I'm afraid you have no control over that now." 

"No...don't want to..." 

"I will feed you if you don't do it yourself and I'll tell Aemond." His eyes immediately opened. 

"You wouldn't dare," he mumbled.

"I would." 

I brought him some leftover pizza from the fridge and he ate it, barely moving his jaw, he was almost unconscious. He drank some more water and finally closed his eyes, drifting away. I stroked his hair once more and then left after Sunfyre came into his room.

When I got home, a text from Haelena appeared on my screen.

Sorry for leaving my stuff, won't happen again (I think) <3

I smiled and answered her, because I knew it was going to happen but then one more message came.

Aegon says thank you

Don't know what for though 

I was realived that she didn't know about my little moment with Aegon. I wanted to keep that between us. He wasn't going to remember any of it tomorrow and I couldn't say I was glad.

A month later, Aegon moved out. He still visited home and stayed some nights, mostly when he went out. It set an alarm in my head, now that he was completely alone, he could do what he wanted as much as he wanted. It scared me.

When I started going out I started seeing him more, which didn't help. I couldn't stop thinking about the day I saw him almost poisoned, he let me take care of him in that vulnerable state. It had to mean something, right? Or nothing. He was drugged, nothing more.

When I was with my friends, sipping on my wine, trying to stay as sober as I could, I saw Aegon at the table across from us with some of his stupid friends and a girl on his lap, eating his face. He was hard to miss, with his almost white hair and eyes so blue they were practically violet. I spilled some wine on my golden shirt, but didn't care at the moment.

He stopped for a second to take a shot and then continued kissing her. I didn't know how he could drink after being so sick from alcohol that day. 

I watched him—No— I stared and all of my friends noticed, but to make everything worse, Aegon opened his eyes mid make out session with that girl and locked his gaze with mine. My stomach made a turn. The girl he was kissing didn't notice that his attention was on me. His eyes were intense, but his intention unclear, at least to me. I felt bad for the girl immediately so I broke eye contact.

She wasn't there when he needed someone. I was. Poisonous words.

One of my friends gripped my forearm, "What was that ?" 

"What was what?" I asked, my vision becoming hazy. I took the wine glass and quite literally shoved the rest of alcohol down my throat. And almost threw up.

"You, eye-fucking Aegon Targaryen from across the room?"

"I wasn't." My face was hot. Red wine. From red wine, yes.

"Oh, really?" She pulled out her phone with a photo, of me staring at something, someone, you couldn't see clearly who on the picture, but she was right. "Oh, my god! Delete that. GET RID OF IT!" I was eye-fucking Aegon!

"Told you!" She shouted over the music. 

I laughed. Then giggled. I couldn't believe. Then ordered another drink, until I couldn't see Aegon anymore. I was convinced that my mind would think more clearly without alcohol clouding it. I never ever thought about him like that. 

It was red wine, I thought. 

It wasn't red wine. The next day I couldn't stop thinking about him. I kept replaying the moment he turned his gaze towards me. The goosebumps, the pressure in my stomach and heat I felt throughout my whole body. 

Helaena asked me to hang out later that day. I obviously said yes because I adore her, but an unsettling feeling came and I knew exactly why. Aegon was probably going to be there, even though he had his own place.

I entered their house and everything was silent. I went to Helaena's room that was plastered with posters of bugs and pretty stones and her crazy drawings. She was reading a book and smiled when I came in.

"Where is everyone?"

"Mother is at work, Aemond at the library and Aegon is sleeping. He drank too much last night. As usual." She said that like it's no big deal. It bothered me. It bothered me that I cared enough to ask her about it.

"And none of you have a problem with that? I mean if I drank as much as him, my mother would actually kill me." I laughed so it wouldn't sound suspicious.

 "Well...No, not really. At the end of the day, It's just Aegon." I nodded, like I was agreeing with her, but that was far from the truth. We changed the topic but my mind always kept coming back to him. I couldn't stop.

"I'm just going to the bathroom," I said and left her room, I needed a splash of cold water on my face.

But instead of going directly to the bathroom, my eyes turned towards Aegon's room. The door was open, so I could clearly see him really sleeping on his bed, wearing a green hoodie, looking almost angelic. His hair was all over his forehead, his lashes gently touching his cheeks and he was hugging one of his pillows, comfortably snuggled. I wanted to stare at him for the next five hours but that just was not possible. Sunfyre ran into his room and jumped beside him. 

Aegon's eyes fluttered and my heart stopped, I thought I was going to get caught, but I wasn't doing anything wrong. Not really. He frowned as he slowly opened his eyes and I couldn't move. His frown turned into self-satisfied smile but he just turned to the other side and continued sleeping. He didn't see me. 

Did he?

I quickly went back to Helaena's room, trying not to think about Aegon's perfect face, his soft hair and lips or the last night's encounter. Impossible.

She asked me to sleep over and I agreed after calling my mom. I wasn't too tired, since I slept good part of the day. We talked, ordered food, watched a rom-com. It was fun.

Haelena fell asleep and I went downstairs to clean the dishes, trying not to wake up anyone, it was almost three in the morning.

While I washed our cups I felt someone's presence behind me.

I turned my head. "Hello, Aegon. Why are you up so late?"

"I just woke up." His eyes were heavy, his words slow. Hungover, still in his green hoodie, hair messy.

"Well, are you hungry? There is some food left, Helaena and I-"

"Why do you act as if I'm a child?" He frowned. "I can eat if I'm hungry." He snapped suddenly at me.

I sighed, leaving rest of the dishes in the sink. I turned to face him.

"But you're not going to, am I right?" He said nothing.

"Aren't you hot in that?" I nodded towards his hoodie. I was in a top and low-rise shorts and I was still sweating like crazy.

"I can take it off if you want, mother." I couldn't breathe. I recognized mockery behind his words, it came to me like a slap. I knew that I was mothering him and he knew that too, which made everything even more embarrassing.

"No, thank you, I've already seen too much." I meant that as a lighthearted joke but his whole face darkened. Aegon's shoulders slouched and went stiff. He was silent.

"I didn't ask you to be there. I didn't ask for your help."

"Aegon, no, I didn't mean it like that. I could've walked out and then what?" I whispered at him, angry that he's not reading my emotions right. "Helaena calls me and tells me you're dead? That you choked on your own vomit?"

"Stop being dramatic, stop it. None of you understand, so quit trying to act as if you do. It's pathetic."

"Tell me one thing," I got closer, "When was the last time your own mother cared enough to even wonder what is happening with her son?" 

Aegon wasn't even offended by my statement. "Oh, okay, so you noticed. It was that obvious." He shook his head. I hated our conversation, but I also felt some kind of thrill when speaking to him like that. I wanted to know more.

"When did you start drinking? It seemed like you had a fair share of wine and...other things last night." He was changing the subject and I was glad.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Aegon."

"Well, then, you should come to my place sometime. I have a wine collection we could try out." 

My face heated, but then I remembered that he obviously has a problem. And I can't use him like that, no matter how much I wanted to get wasted with him and see where would that take us.

"Thanks for the invite, but I'll pass." Before I walked out of the room, I turned to face him once again, "And try not to make a mess again." I wanted to beg him to stop hurting himself but I was nothing to him, not even a friend, so I had no right to tell him what to do to his body.

"Not promising anything."

I was getting ready to go out, putting on red lipstick, mascara, some glitter over my arms and chest. 

I wore leather mini skirt and a black top that matched perfectly. I wish I thought about anything other than the fact that Aegon's apartment was so close to the club we were going to. What if— No. 

I had to stop myself from finishing that thought but I suddenly wanted to be near him, as near as possible.

I had a few drinks. Maybe more than few. Because you should either go big or go home. And I always followed that rule. I wanted Aegon to be there, my eyes were searching for him everywhere, until my head started spinning, that good, freeing feeling kicking in. I was brave enough now. I could do whatever I wanted.

"Should I take away your phone?" One of my friends shouted over the music.

"I'll behave. Promise." I smiled to myself, an idea already forming in my head. "I'm going to the bathroom, It'll be quick." They just nodded and I went in, sharp white lights blinding me. Everything was too bright, too loud. It was funny. I smiled to myself.

Some girls were inside too, but I didn't bother looking at them. I took out my phone, grinning, and found Aegon's contact.

Helllllllooooiiiiooooo

I didn't expect him to reply to me at all, but my heart did a jump when he replied. We never texted before.

hello? 

My fingers were almost numb and I genuinely had no idea what I was sending him.

AREE YOU BORRED?

certainly not now. u drunk?

I called him and he immediately picked up.

"Aegggoooonnnn?"

"What the fuck..." I guess he was just surprised. I laughed at him and when I gathered myself, I wanted to hang up because I genuinely had nothing to say to him, at least nothing that made any sense. But the reckless part of my brain won.

"Can I come over?" I grinned, he could not see it tho.

He was silent for a while. "Alone?" 

The girls in the bathroom giggled. 

"Yes, alone, you whore."

"I do live close, but you, my girl, are hammered."

"Oh my god, you said 'my girl'."

"It was just an expression."

"No it was not. Come pick me up, please. I helped you once, you should help me too!"

"And what do you suppose we do at my place? You can barely speak properly."

Oh, I did not want to say it. But he knew, And I also knew. 

"Nevermind, I'll call a cab."

"You don't know the adress."

I laughed again and hung up. I knew the adress, Helaena told me.

One of the girls in the bathroom looked at me, smiling, "Was that your boyfriend?"

"Hell, no." 

"So you just plan on hooking up with him, drunk? Do you think he'll want that?"

"To take advantage of my fragile and vulnerable state when I'm clearly not thinking right? Yeah. He can't wait."

"Be careful, I heard it's painful when you're drunk."

That was SO funny. So I cracked up. "If you saw him, you wouldn't think that." I had to stop talking, half of them probably knew Aegon, or fucked Aegon! 

I ditched my friends, that was not the right move, but I texted them my location and that everything is fine.

My feet were hurting but I hardly felt it. Cold night air was a nice change, I thought I might suffocate from the cigarette smoke. 

I called the cab and in five minutes I was in front of Aegon's door. 

Thank god I had one more drink before heading out, I couldn't be sober now. I was much braver, and let's hope Aegon lacked morals like I thought.

I knocked and waited, I was completely sure I heard his footsteps and then door opened. It took everything in me not to jump on him in that moment because I never saw him look so... comfortable.

His hair was a bit shorter, disheveled and Aegon's face seemed so soft. "Hi." I smiled and reached for his face, but his hand stopped me. His hand...

Yeah, I was too drunk.

He let me in and I jumped on his couch. I had no capacity of looking around. Everything was spinning. I sat on it, staring at his ceiling.

He was standing over me and he looked pretty pissed off.

"Why are you here?"

"I missed you!"

"Stop with the nonsense or I'm kicking you out."

"It's not nonsense! How dare you?" I laughed, "Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

He started mumbling to himself and walked away, only to be back with a huge glass of water.

"Nooooo! You're so boring! Aren't you the one who wants to fuck every living, breathing woman."

"Yes, I am. Now drink this."

"Oh, I know. You spiked it." I laughed again. Everything was really funny.

"What the fuck? No, actually, you're not right in the head now. It's fucking water. You need to sober up."

"Why? I though you'd fuck anyone."

"So that's why you're here...Yeah, no."

"What? Am I that despicable? You want anyone, just not me? Really nice."

"I want...I want you to fucking drink this. And start sobering up. Then tell me what you want."

"Oh, you'll see." I took the glass from his hand and gulped it down. He brought me some food and I started eating like a starved animal.

"Aren't you going to join me?"

"No." 

"I actually never saw you eat in the last year and a half." It was an accusation.

"Why are you so obsessed with me and eating? You need to relax."

"Aegon." I glared at him. He said nothing.

"I know what's going on and you have to quit it. I've seen you shirtless. It's scary. Plus the drinking—"

"What do you want? To save me somehow? Fix me?"

"Yes. I helped myself, I'm going to help you."

"I don't want that."

"Bullshit. Aegon, you're ruining your life. You don't eat enough and drink more than I do. That's concerning."

"Are you sober yet?"

"Yes," I lied. I still felt dizzy and brave enough to continue fighting with him.

"What will Helaena think?"

"About what?"

"Me fucking you when you're obviously still drunk and lying to me. Also, you can try to fix me and don't get mad if you fail."

It was like a dream come true. He gave me a permission and that I've always secretly wanted.

"Which one first? Do we fuck or do I try to fix you, as you say?"

"Surprise me."

I congratulated myself for wearing an outfit that was so easy to take off. Now I was standing in front of him in my underwear and he was as serious as ever.

I took a handful of his t-shirt and tugged on it, trying to take it off. He finally let me do it and then I pushed him backwards on his couch. I sat on his lap, straddling him and for a moment I just stared with the biggest grin. "You have no idea for how long I wanted this."

"And you needed to get drunk to actually do it?"

"You're intimidating." I bowed down and kissed him on the cheek, then on the neck, throat and I did it slowly, it was torture for both of us.

I finally reached his lips and I let myself feel his breath for a moment, before pressing my mouth to his. We moved in sync with each other, but I was desperate for more of him. 

"You should've been the one to ruin me. I wouldn't have regretted it."

Aegon closed his eyes as my hand went down his sweatpants, feeling him grow harder and harder with each passing second. But then he turned his face away from me.

"Please get off." Okay, I can't say that it didn't hurt. Especially coming from him. I sat beside him, trying to recover myself from the sudden emotions.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I just can't do it with you. Not yet. Sorry."

"Is that improvement I hear? Not being with a wasted girl?" I joked and thankfully he smiled. I smiled back.

"Go shower, you drunk. You reek of alcohol."

"You sound just like my fatheeeer." He basically pulled me into the bathroom and got out so that I could clean up. Aegon even left me his green hoodie, that green hoodie, but I didn't want to wear it.

"Aegon!" I was really feeling better, I felt like I could finally think clearly.

"Yes?" I heard his voice behind the door.

"It's okay, you can come in." I had a towel around me and as soon as he stepped in, his eyes shamelessly went over me, I hid my smile.

Aegon cleared his throat, "What is it?"

"Can you get me another?" I picked up the green hoodie and gave it to him.

"What's wrong with this one?"

I crossed my hands nervously. Yes, I was totally sober. "I want you to wear it." He looked taken aback by my request. It was a strange one, indeed, but at least there was a chance he's going to fulfill my wishes.

"But...You know what? Nevermind. I'll wear it."

He was so beautiful and he actually looked rested. I was sure he had been drinking, but there was no alcohol in sight. His whole apartment was mostly empty, but clean. I didn't know this side of Aegon existed. Then, he lied about his wine collection.

I followed him into his bedroom and he turned on the lights. Again, empty, no pictures, no decorations, just plain white walls and king-size bed. He opened his closet and threw another hoodie at me, while I was still in a towel. I took my underwear, at least, I was decent like that.

He didn't bother asking me to let him change, he just took off his shirt, revealing his bare torso and the tattoos I loved so much, but had no idea what they meant. He was scarred from the inside and it was starting to show but I said I won't let that happen.

"You quit drinking?" My eyes were on his face now, he was completely dressed.

"I am trying," he was staring at the floor, "How'd you know?"

"I had a feeling." He was a lot calmer, he didn't look so tired and there were no bottles in sight. It seemed like moving out was his best decision yet. I didn't know what triggered his urges, but I was glad he was on his own now.

I put on the clothes he gave me and we went back into his living room. We sat beside each other.

"About earlier..." He started.

"I should apologize, I shouldn't have drank that much and you shouldn't have seen it."

"I am glad it was me and not someone else. But I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"What? How?" I frowned, genuenly confused if he was still talking about the same thing.

"I backed out in the last second. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"Aegon. I was drunk and out of my mind. I wouldn't have regretted it, but...I want to do it again, when I can remember everything clearly. If you want it too, that is."

He looked at me like a lost puppy and it broke my heart, I didn't know the details about his habits, or his friends that were clearly effecting his life in all the worst ways. All of that made him think that everything is his fault and that he deserved no better.

"Are you nuts? Of course I want to. It's like my most bizarre dream, you, drunk throwing yourself at me—"

"Oh, I wasn't—" Yeah, I was.

"You were, darling, and I rejected you. What a dumb cunt."

I laughed and felt comfortable for the first time with him, because there was no one else who could judge and interrupt. 

It was almost 5AM and my eyes felt so heavy I couldn't keep them open anymore.

"You should take me on a proper date, Aegon." I unconsciously rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes finally. It was too good to be true.

"And ruin my reputation? Yes, I think I should."

Sleep came over me and I felt Aegon shift under my body, until I was laying on top of him, my head on his chest. He was stroking my hair.

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Chapter 21

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, talks of hurting a child (basically the reader walks about what her mother did to her), some crying, worried Charlotte, angry Charlotte, protective Charlotte 😂 (she’s ready to fight anyone), some fluff.

A/N: some favorite parts in this chapter but not really my favorite overall. Idk I was blanking hard on some parts of it.

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Sunday morning was usually your lazy day. You and Bucky would lay in bed and just talk about anything and cuddle. He was the most relaxed on Sunday, when you would truly spend time together as a family. A piece of normalcy he had dreamed of since before the war.

This Sunday was unusual. When you finally woke up, Bucky's side of the bed was empty. Normally if that happened it was because one of the kids came in and woke either of you up. Today was different, even though it was still morning the apartment felt lively. Even with the door closed you could hear muffled conversation and giggling. You have an absentminded smile until you remember who is here and why. With a sigh you get up and get ready for the day.

With the hopes of giving you a few extra minutes of sleep Bucky started by making coffee and waited for Eddie to show up. Soon enough Henry woke up followed by Lottie and Olivia. As the kids played in the living room your family showed up. Eddie helped get coffee served up for the adults while breakfast was started. Sofia and Josh were roped in by the kids to play. It was how families should always act around each other. Bucky could only hope that it would stay like this from now on. For your sake and now the kids. He’d also invited Steve over, knowing you’d like to have your best friend there for moral support.

When you emerged from the bedroom Olivia and Lottie had Steve, Josh and Sofia playing tea party in the living room. Bucky, Eddie, Luke and Molly were in the kitchen fixing breakfast for everyone. Henry had been coloring at the table when he saw you. He stopped what he was doing and ran to hug you. You remembered the conversation you overheard between him and his grandfather so you knew he would want to stay by your side.

“Good morning my sweet boy.” You greet Henry while running your fingers through his long hair.

“Morning mama.”

“What’s going on out here?”

“Just hanging out.” He waves for you to come down to his level and then he cups his mouth with one hand. “I think they’re waiting for you mama.”

“I think so too. Let’s go see what they’re doing.”

You head out to the kitchen first and a cup of coffee is almost immediately in your hand.

“Don’t talk to her until she’s had at least half of the cup.”

“James.” You scold playfully.

“See what I mean.”

“Oh I’ve been at the end of that glare. It ain’t pretty.” Your dad adds, making Luke and Molly chuckle.

Bucky smiles and gets closer before giving you a quick peck on the lips. You knew what he was doing, he was easing you into the environment. Making you feel comfortable even with the situation at hand.

“Mowning mama!” Lottie ran to you and wrapped her arms around your leg. “Mama?” She looks up at you with her beautiful bright blue eyes.

“Yes sweet angel.”

“Josh and Luke mama’s bubbas an Sofia mama’s sissy?”

It seems like they had started explaining the family relationship to Charlotte before you woke up. She was a very curious child which you loved but something told you this was going to be an interesting conversation.

“Yes, Josh and Luke are my brothers and Sofia is my sister.” You answer before taking another sip of your coffee.

“Can habe a sissy mama?”

You choked on your coffee and immediately started coughing. Bucky is at your side in an instant patting your back and taking the cup of coffee away from you. It took you a moment to compose yourself but when you did you noticed everyone laughing. Even Steve, Josh and Sofia had moved to the kitchen to see what was going on.

“Mama is kay?”

“Yes, mama is ok sweet Angel.”

“So can habe sissy?” Lottie’s face is hopeful and while you would like to have a baby, especially with Bucky, you were not ready for that at the moment. You knelt down in order to be at her level.

“Sweet Angel, mama can’t give you a sissy right now.”

“But want sissy to pay wit. Pease mama?”

“I’m sorry sweet Angel. I promise that I’ll let you know when mama and daddy will give you a sister or brother.”

Charlotte just gave you a pout and crossed her arms over her chest. When you pulled her into a hug she didn’t hug you back. You wanted to laugh a bit, you knew it wouldn’t last long but seeing her little face all scrunched up in disapproval was too cute. She wandered away as soon as you let her go and into the arms of Steve. You rolled your eyes and turned back to grab your cup of coffee.

“You ok there?” Bucky asked cautiously.

“Yeah, are you?”

He chuckled and nodded. “If I would have known that’s what they were going to talk about I wouldn’t have left her with the twins and Steve.”

“No shit. But anyways, what are we doing here?”

“Pancakes. It’s just easier than making a bunch of smaller breakfasts. We were about to start making them. Wanna flip?” Bucky asks with a smirk on his face.

“Obviously.”

Soon enough your guests move out of yours and Bucky’s way. Eddie, Luke and Molly watch in stunned silence as you manipulate multiple spatulas to flip the pancakes around while casually making conversation.

“Hello?” You wave a hand in Luke’s face and he snaps out of the trance he seemed to be in.

“You are so cool.”

“I know.”

“What were you saying?” Molly asked as she looked away from the spatulas to you.

“Are you guys planning on having any more kids?”

“We want to. After seeing Olivia and Charlotte together I know Liv would love a sibling. They’ve known each other for a day and they’re attached at the hip.”

“That’s cousins for you.” Luke adds and you meet his eyes. He gives you a soft smile, similar to your dad.

“What’s going to happen between you and mom?”

“Why don’t we have breakfast first and then we’ll talk about that.” Eddie answers as he holds out plates for the pancakes.

From the living room you can hear Lottie greeting ‘Buce’, you and Bucky exchange confused glances as he walks in.

“Good morning everyone. I’m sorry to interrupt.” He says with a shy smile.

“It’s ok, What’s up?”

“The antitoxin is ready. I think it’d be better if you took it before breakfast.”

“Antitoxin?” Your father questioned immediately.

“Yeah, it’s to counteract the toxin Y/N was injected with.”

“Bruce!” Both you and Bucky yelled at the same time making him flinch.

“You were injected with a toxin? When did this happen? How bad was it?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know they didn’t know.”

“That makes two of us Banner.” Eddie huffed out.

You swallowed thickly as your dad crossed his arms, he had his classic scowl on his face. One mimicked by Luke.

“You’re on your own with this one, Sugar.” Bucky kissed your cheek and continued plating the breakfast up.

“Ok. I’ll go with Bruce and I’ll explain everything when I come back.”

“Or I’ll go with you and you explain everything.”

“Fine.” You sigh.

Bruce exits first and you follow with your dad and brother right behind you. It felt like you were being taken prisoner. The whole way down to Bruce’s lab was silent and tense. You could feel your dad staring daggers into the back of your head.

“I am so sorry, I thought they knew.” Bruce mutters as you walk into his lab.

“It’s ok, I should have told them.”

“Ok, I’m going to need to take some pictures, blood samples and your vitals before we get started.”

“So what exactly happened?” Luke asks as he and your dad sit on stools nearby.

Bruce grabs a camera and you lift up your shirt so that he can take the pictures he needs. You can hear the sharp breath both Luke and your dad take when they see the scar by your ribs. The color still contrasts extremely against your natural skin tone.

“I was on a mission about six weeks ago. And while I was fighting someone I was injected with a toxin.”

“I thought you were a medic.”

“I am, like 75% of the time. But this wasn’t just a random mission. It was a set up to try and get to me.”

“Why?” Your dad asked. His anger turning into concern.

“Because of the kids.”

“Henry and Lottie?” Luke asked, confused as to what they had to do with anything.

“Yeah and three others.” You sigh. “The kids aren’t from a previous relationship Bucky had. I know you are aware of his past with hydra.” Luke just nods. “Well they used different female agents or prisoners and used Bucky’s DNA to create the next generation of winter soldiers. There were five total. We found Lottie first almost four months ago. Then I found three, they had been murdered and then we found Henry about two and a half months ago.”

“Ok but what does that have to do with you being targeted?”

Bruce moves around you, taking the blood sample and then your vitals silently as he listens to you recount everything that’s happened in the last few months.

“I killed one of the scientists that had been Henry’s handler. That was the night before we came back from our mission and you came up to stay with Charlotte.” You told your dad and he just nodded. “The day of the mission is when we found Henry. I was the one literally carrying him out. They had already programmed him so they tried to have him kill me.”

“I’m sorry, you’ve killed someone and Henry tried to kill you? Is he dangerous?”

“Yes I’ve killed before. No he isn’t dangerous. We were in Wakanda and they helped get rid of the programming. So because I’ve helped with the kids and I’m involved with Bucky hydra tried to kill me.”

“So what happened here? I doubt it just gave you a scar.”

You look at your dad unsure of how much to tell him. What was the point of giving him all of the details if you were sitting right there? If you were ok and were about to receive the antidote.

“There was major blood loss.” Bruce said and you glared at him. He only shrugged. “She had a few minor seizures and she flatlined at least twice. This toxin was made specifically as a way to assassinate someone and no way to find a cure on time. It should have killed her immediately. The reason it didn’t was because of her suit. The compression clothing and Kevlar vest Y/N was wearing didn’t allow the capsule to expand and disintegrate which would have released the toxin quickly. It did when she got home and was undressing to get in the shower. That and the fact that she and Steve are the same blood type saved her life.”

You took a chance to look at your father and he was eerily calm. It was that calm kind of anger. Without saying a word he just got up and walked out.

“Give him a few minutes.” Luke says.

You just nod and let Bruce do what he has to do.

****

The bright lights of Bruce’s were the first things you saw. You groan as you sit up and try to shrug away the hand that was on your back trying to help you.

“Take it easy, Y/N. You fainted.” Bruce said quietly.

“How long was I out?”

“About a minute. The scar is gone though and I’m running some new bloodwork now.”

“Why are you yelling?” You whispered.

“I’m not?”

You looked at Bruce then at your brother. Everything around you looked a lot clearer and brighter. Like high resolution to the max. You could hear the little pitter patter of feet down the hall getting closer.

“Charlotte is about to walk into the lab in 3,2,1.”

Just like you said the double doors opened and Charlotte walked in with a worried expression on her face.

“Mama kay?”

“What are you doing here Lottie?” Luke picked her up so that she could see you better.

She touched her forehead . “Mama seep and habe owies.”

“She saw me fainting in a vision and I think I have the serum.”

Bruce moves to the computer and waits for the analysis to be done.

“You’re right.” Bruce whispers.

“So now you’re a super soldier?”

“You don’t have a full dose of the serum but enough of it to still make a difference. Where Steve would heal in two days from a broken bone you would heal in three or four.”

“What do I do now?”

“First, talk to dad. Then you tell Bucky and then we talk as a family. For now I’ll take this little escape artist back upstairs.” Luke says and you just nod.

“Bye mama.”

“Bye sweet Angel.”

****

You found your father outside sitting on a bench under a tree. He was still fuming and that anger had never been directed your way. You could hear him muttering to him even when you were a few feet away.

“Dad.” You called softly. His head snaps up to look at you. “Can we talk or do you need some more time?”

Eddie just patted the empty spot beside him. Neither of you said a word. You just sat side by side and watched the world go by.

“I have a plan in place.” You said after a while. He didn’t say anything so you took it as the go ahead. “If I were to die out on or because of a mission. I didn’t want you to remember me broken or bloodied. I have a video recording of what I would like you to know. How much I love you and how much everything you did meant to me. I didn’t tell you about this because I didn’t want you to worry. At least not until we found a cure.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me kid.”

You were taken aback by his response. Your father was not a person who cursed. He stood up from the bench and paced back and forth.

“You don’t get it, Y/N. All of my life, since we realized you had these abilities, all I wanted to do was protect you. I only want the best for you, you know that.” Eddie says while finally looking at you. “I support you in anything you do. When you told me you got accepted into Shield I was proud but scared. When you told me you were working with Captain America I was terrified. You called me all excited telling me you were now an avenger, I could barely sleep for days with worry. I almost had a heart attack when you told me you were dating Bucky.” You smile at the last part. “I’ve seen you through everything, the one thing I don’t want is for you to not tell me when you’re hurt. I can’t keep you safe, I know that now. But I’d rather be informed of what’s going on with you at the moment than find out after you’re gone. You’re my little girl, had me wrapped around your finger from the moment you were born, I’d be lost without ya kid.”

“Dad…” you were at a loss for words so you got up and hugged him instead.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 50. I'm still going to worry about you.”

“I know, I get it now.” You give him a sad smile. “I don’t know if we should talk about mom. It wasn’t pretty.”

“I need to know.”

“Ok, then we’ll talk about it.”

The living room was relatively quiet. Steve and Bucky had offered to take the kids outside while you spoke but you asked Bucky to stay. Steve gave you a quick hug and kiss to the temple while he tapped on your shoulder a message.

‘You've got this.’

You smiled and watched as he took Henry, Lottie and Olivia with him. Eddie, Luke and Molly sat on the couch while Sofie and Josh took the arm chairs. It left you and Bucky on the love seat. His hand reached out for yours and his thumb moved back and forth in order to provide you some type of comfort.

“So I’m not sure where to start.”

“When did it start?” Eddie asked. You looked at him with a pained expression.

“I don’t remember. The abuse was always part of my life. It only happened when you were out of town for days.”

“What did she do?”

“When I was really little, like three or four, she would lock me up in a closet for hours. She only let me out to use the bathroom twice a day and to eat twice a day. She’d spank me if I had an accident in between those times.”

“That’s why you’re afraid of small enclosed spaces?”

You only nod.

“What else?”

“If I used my powers, even accidentally, she would take whatever I made move and throw it at me. The toaster, the phone, a pair of scissors, cutlery. If it was metal it had been thrown in my direction. Remember the tv that I supposedly broke?” You didn’t wait for an answer.” Well it was a rare occasion where she had me in the living room and there was a jump scare and of course the tv slid back from its normal position. When she saw it she grabbed it and tried to chuck it in my direction. Missed me by a couple of inches if it hadn’t been because Luke pulled me out of the way.”

Eddie’s jaw clenched and he looked over at Luke who just nodded in confirmation.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me, kitten?” The anguish was clear on his face as he thought about you going through what you told him.

“She said that if I told you that I would never see you again. That there were men from the government that would take me and would want to experiment on me. I was terrified.”

“And you, why didn’t you say anything? Or you two?”

“Mom lied to us.” Josh spoke up. “She made us believe Y/N would kill us while we slept. We slept in shifts to make sure she wouldn’t get us. It wasn’t until we got older that we started to realize that it was all a lie but by then Y/N was out of the house.”

“What else?”

No one said anything. There were sniffles coming from you and Molly. Luke, Sofia and Josh just stared at the floor. Bucky had thrown his arm over your shoulder and brought you closer to him.

“WHAT ELSE?” Eddie screamed as he got up and started pacing.

“Ed, why don’t we take a break?” Bucky got up to try and calm him down.

“No, I need to know everything.”

“I know, but you yelling isn’t helping her.” He whispered.

Ed looked over at you trying to hold it together. But he didn’t see you as an adult, he saw that little girl that begged him to not go on work trips. The little girl that clung to him whenever he got back. Your father sat down next to you and wrapped you up in a hug, letting you cry on his shoulder. After you finally calmed down you went on to explain all of the other things your mother had done. Keeping you in the cellar while your siblings had sleepovers, the beatings and degrading words she’d said to you. How you were going through so much stress that you suppressed your powers for a while. Finally you explained how it mostly ended when you were around twelve and you had lifted every single sharp metal object and pointed it in her direction. You stood up for yourself while she was slapping you across the face for something out of your control.

Toward the end it looked as if Eddie would have a heart attack. Guilt ridden and blindsided he gave you one last hug and another apology before he walked out. Josh and Sofia gave you a quick hug and an apology of their own before they followed him, promising to look out for him and to keep you updated on what would eventually happen when they got home. Bucky and Molly excused themselves to go find the kids leaving you alone with Luke.

“I should have done something.” Luke says.”I should have kept you safe.”

“Don’t do that to yourself. We were both kids and our mother manipulated and threatened us.”

“Still, I’m sorry for not protecting you. I’m sorry for everything. Especially when we got older, I should have reached out and apologized sooner, I’ll always regret that.”

“Me too, but at least we can have a new start now.” You give him a sad smile.

“I’d love that. Also I think Olivia and Charlotte wouldn’t give us an option. They were already talking about another sleepover.”

You both smile at the thought of the girls getting along so well. Even Henry was getting love and attention from Olivia.

“I’m proud of you.” Luke says next, taking you by surprise. “You could have hated the world but here you are, full of love to give. Those kids, the avengers and Bucky are lucky to have you.”

“Luke…” words failed you, especially when he sat next to you and wrapped you up in a warm embrace.

“Do you think we could start over?”

“I’d really like that.”

The door slams open and a very angry looking Charlotte walks in the door. She points her little finger at Luke.

“No make mama sad.” She stomps her feet as she walks to get in between you and him. Henry appears next to her, the same angry face as he stands in front of you and Lottie.

Bucky walks in just then with an exasperated look on his face. He raises an eyebrow when Lottie and Henry look at him but Lottie crosses her arms over her chest in defiance.

“Kids I told you that your mom was having an important talk with uncle Luke.” He looks from Luke to you. “I’ve been trying to keep her from coming up here for the last 30 minutes.”

“But make mama sad. No wike it dada.” Lottie argues back.

“Oh sweet Angel, mama isn’t sad. I’m crying because I’m happy.”

Charlotte looks at you confused.

“But mama you’re crying.” Henry speaks up.

“Sometimes people cry because they’re happy.”

“Mama not sad?” Lottie asks, her innocence is precious.

“No, mama is happy.”

Luke chuckles and shakes his head. “I should get going. We’ll talk soon.” He leans in and hugs you then gives Henry a high five and a kiss to the top of Charlotte’s head. “Keep mama safe ok? She’s very special.”

Henry and Lottie nod in agreement.

“Same goes for you.” Luke tells Bucky as they shake hands.

“With my life.”

Luke disappears down the hallway and Bucky closes the door behind him. The wall now has an indent of the door handle from where Lottie slammed the door into it. Shaking his head, Bucky sits next to you.

“How are you doing?”

You contemplated the question before sighing.

“Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Glad I went to therapy as soon as I was able to.”

Lottie tapped your knee and put her arms up so that you would pick her up. You sat her down so that she was straddling your legs, her little hands fiddling with the necklace Bucky had given you for Mother’s Day.

“You little miss attitude,” you said to Lottie and she looked up at you with wide eyes. “Are you going to come to my rescue any time I’m sad? Are you gonna keep me safe?”

“Mama keep safe an happy,” Lottie puts both her hands on her chest as she speaks about herself. “Keep mama safe an happy.” Then she puts her hands on your chest with a shy smile on her face.

“My sweet girl.”

You kiss her forehead as she leans into your embrace. Henry moves to stand next to you and you pull him into a hug. Eventually Lottie wiggles off your lap and runs off to her room to play, taking Henry with her.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Bucky asks again.

“I will be, baby.”

Bucky opens his arms and you lean into him, your head resting on his shoulder. You enjoy the silence and the comfort of being in his arms until your phone vibrates in your pocket. Thinking it’s your siblings or even your dad you pull it out.

“Everything ok?” Bucky asks when he sees your expression of confusion.

“Yeah. Actually there’s something you have to know.”

“Ok?”

“You know that cute Bruce created for me?” Bucky just nods. “Well that was Bruce, when he gave me the shot I passed out. Turns out that while I no longer have the toxin in my system I do have the serum.”

Bucky just stares at you for a moment. “I’m sorry what?”

“The antitoxin Bruce created ended up doubling the small amount of serum I had in my system. So I’m like a super soldier now. But where you and Steve are like 100% super soldiers, I’m 75%. At least that’s what Bruce is saying.”

“So you can heal faster?”

“Yeah?” You answer with a question.

Bucky just nods but doesn’t say anything.

“Also don’t tell Steve because when I get the chance I wanna spar with him and kick his ass.” You say making him chuckle.

You stand and offer Bucky your hand, which he takes, and you pull him up easily.

“I’m gonna have to get used to that.” You mutter as you walk back to spend time with the kids.

All you can do is hope that things go back to some sort of normal.

Ch 22

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@oceaniamadness

[the-yoru-whoru]

Phoenix x reader | Big brother | inc*st | rough | slight angst and comfort | adopted sister | dead dove do not eat | suggestive | if u don’t like inc*st…. DONT READ LOL | I thought this might be a little much for a return fic but... i wanted to write it lol | also this was originally in bullet point format, so it might read a bit weird at some points, apologies

“Shhh!” Phoenix whisper-yells at you, a panicked expression on his face.

The loud music outside is muffled by the wooden walls of the closet, and although it's dark, light seeps through the cracks of the door, giving you just enough vision to see your brother's heavily flushed face, the tousled locks of his hair falling messily into his face.

He's leaned over your small figure, and although you fit into the closet just barely, he's struggling to even maneuver himself inside the cramped space, broad shoulders hunched over uncomfortably just to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling.

You just giggle at his frantic behavior, squirming around to lightly tap him on his head with an open hand.

“You’re the one making the most noise, big bro,” You say teasingly, trailing another hand down his chest with your index finger, "Plus, I really really really wanna meet your friends!"

You try to push past him to the exit of the closet, eager to see the lively party beyond the closed doors.

Suddenly, Pheonix grabs your hand roughly, pinning it back against the wall of the closet with a loud thud.

You make a squeak of surprise, but his other large hand comes up too, covering your mouth completely as you stare up at your brother, shocked.

He seems a little stunned as well, as if his body had moved on its own, but he gathers himself and stares down at you sternly as he leans you up against the closet back, effectively walling you in.

"Listen, I can't believe you followed me out tonight–I mean, come on! You know Mom and Dad are gonna friggin' murder me if they find out you went to a party, even more so if you meet my friends!"

You blink up at him, confused, trying to talk but still unable to speak under his firm grip.

Pheonix loosens his hand to let you speak, and you can't help but protest.

"But why not? All you ever do nowadays is hang out with your new friends, shouldn't I get to meet them at least once?"

But your brother only shakes his head, looking even more stressed. Your eyes linger on the bead of sweat that drips down his temple.

"No no no–it's different, alright?" You hate when he uses that tone of voice on you, "Mom and Dad don't like my friends, you know that. And they sure as hell don't want their only daughter to be hanging out with some bad influences."

You can hear laughing outside the closet, a male talking to a girl about knives or something.

Pheonix is still staring at you intently, body not moving an inch as restrains your movement.

"So I'm just supposed to stay home alone and be a good girl every day?" You say, hurt creeping into your voice, "While you get to go out and have fun every night? Nowadays, I never even get to see you anymore, every time I try to hang out you just avoid me!”

When the two of you were younger you used to be like best friends; Phoenix had always done right to treat you like his real little sister, and you remember always being able to come to him for anything and everything. It was a far cry from how he acted towards you nowadays.

“Just admit it already—admit that you hate me and you’re too embarrassed to let your new cool friends meet your loser, little sister! "

You want to say more but Phoenix slams his hand into the wall behind you, shaking the whole tiny closet. The outside party quiets confusedly for a second, before growing again.

The male leans into you darkly, his usually energetic demeanor uncharacteristically somber.

His eyes haven’t moved from you this whole time, and now his stare is downright intense, his gaze making you want to fidget but you dared not to move.

His body seems to radiate extreme heat, and for a moment he doesn’t say a word, face flashing with expressions of regret and anger.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything. He simply kisses you.

His mouth is warm and slightly salty, and you’re frozen in shock as he moves his lips over yours.

His voice rumbles lowly in his throat as the hand gripping your wrist tightens painfully.

It’s like the party, the noise, and even the closet surrounding you have just melted away, and all you can think is: holy shit, my brother is kissing me.

When he finally pulls away, it takes a moment for you to gather yourself, and you can only stare at him slack-jawed as he struggles to catch his breath, chest heaving with every intake of air as if he’d run a marathon.

It’s silent between the two of you before he finally breaks the silence.

“I could never hate you,” Phoenix is so serious he almost seems like a different person, but there’s still a familiar edge of nervousness in his voice you’re just able to catch, “I know my friends would love you if they met you. That’s exactly why I don’t want you meeting them.”

You shiver at his next words, “I don’t want to have to share you with anyone. I won’t.”

“Because you’re mine, lil sis.”

You can’t think straight, all you can do is stare at him dumbly as you try to think of what to say, try to ignore the leap in your chest as he speaks.

You must be taking too long because his serious look begins to soften into panic as you remain silent, his body beginning to retreat slightly in worry. But you don’t want him to leave you again.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” His face contorted into regret, “I shouldn’t have said anything, I just—!”

You cut him off with your own lips, having to pull him down and tip-toe in order to kiss him forcefully until his protests die on his tongue.

When you pull away, his eyes look even hungrier, and the warmth from his body is almost too much to bear, but you don’t get a say before he’s shoving you against the wall with his whole weight, your body pressed up tightly against him as he grips onto your wrists roughly and full on groans, lips finding your lips again and kissing you deeply this time, his touch scorching hot against your skin.

You can barely contain your own moans, still aware in the back of your mind of the people who still surround the two of you, trying desperately not to make a squeak as your older brother desperately pokes and prods against your mouth with his own thick tongue like a man starved.

Until you feel something below stir against you, and then you can’t contain the yelp of surprise that escapes you.

Everything is so unbearably hot, every breath you take just smells like Pheonix, a slightly ashy, sweaty scent that has your head swirling.

Somehow you know he’s wanted this for a long time because of the way he grips and touches every part of you desperately, an eagerness in his touch you’ve never seen before, but only felt in his eyes in the past. Everything seemed to click into place the more your brother felt you in places that should have been forbidden; why he suddenly seemed so distant, why he hesitated to do things the two of you used to do previously.

Phoenix finally pauses in his frantic touching to pull back slightly, eyes taking in the sight of you in front of him, lips flushed and messy, clothes wrinkled and ruffled.

“Are you… Okay?” He pants out, and you can’t help but giggle.

“I’m more than okay,” You say teasingly.

You savour the way Pheonix’s face breaks into a relieved smile, teeth glinting white in the dark closet.

“Whew,” He breathes, and his intense expression has lifted, replaced by his usual easiness as he looks at you adoringly.

The two of you don’t say a word about how wrong this is, don’t dare to even think of how you’ll handle this in the future, but when Pheonix brings you in firm embrace and kisses the top of your head, all you do is sigh contently, happy to finally have your brother back.

Word count : 1433

[swag696942069]

I some how found part of a Regulily fic in my notes and I'm so confused because I don't remember writing it but its not half bad 😭

This is also supposed to be hinting at potential Jegulily but this was all I had written of it 😭

Lily was awoken by the sun shining in through the window acrossed from the bed she was currently laying in.

A bed that did not belong to her.

It had become, somewhat of a normalcy for Lily to wake up in two different beds, neither of which belonging to her.

For example, the bed that she was currently laying in belonged to her dark curled, grey eyes, sharp cheekbones, lover.

Regulus.

Lily and Regulus had been sleeping together for a little over a year.

The first time it happened was after her older sister, Petunia, and her, had gotten into a fight. Regulus had found her crying outside during a party hosted by Sirius and James.

He had comforted her.

Lily wasn't sure if it was the the alcohol running in her veins, or if it was the way the moon light shined on Regulus face, but before Lily realized what she was doing she was kissing Regulus. She had expected him to pull away, to run, to go tell Sirius or something, but he didn't. He had kissed her back. Not long after, they found themselves in Regulus's bed.

After it happened, Lily was afraid that she had fucked up her newly formed friendship with the younger Black brother; but Regulus had told her that nothing had to change, and that no one had to know. And that's the way they've kept it.

Not telling anyone. No one else needed to know, this was their special thing. Their special time.

Sure, around their friends they barely hung out. But when they're alone? They can't keep their hands off each other.

"Hi." Regulus said, gaining Lily's attention. His voice sounded a lot deeper and ruffer sounding than it usually was. Oh how Lily loved his morning voice.

Lily couldn't help the smile on her face upon seeing his own lazy one. "Hi."

Regulus pulled Lily closer so she was laying her head on his chest, "How'did you sleep, ma chérie?"

Lily nuzzled closer into Regulus, "Good. You?" She lifted her head to look at him a bit.

He smiled at her before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "I always sleep good when you're here, my darling."

Lily smiled back and gave him another kiss. "I sleep better when I'm with you too."

Regulus didn't respond and just kissed her again. This continued for about five minutes before a knock on Regulus's bedroom door caused them both to pull away.

Regulus groaned, already knowing who it was. "Barty, go away! I'm trying to sleep."

"How'd you know it was me?" Regulus's roommate, Barty said, it sounding muffled because of the door separating them.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "You're the only one who ever bothers me early in the morning." Regulus muttered the word 'imbécile' under his breath, causing Lily to giggle quietly. Regulus looked at her was a playful smile and a raise eyebrow before leaning in and kissing her again. This time moving down from her lips to start kissing her neck.

Another knock at the door, "Reg."

Regulus pulled away with a huff. "This better be important, Crouch!" He stood from the bed and made his way to the door, but not before kissing Lily one last time.

Regulus opened the door, and Lily was glad Regulus's bed was positioned in a way that made it so it wasn't visible in the doorway. Lily sat up and grabbed the shirt that Regulus had left on the floor last night and slipped it on, only having been in a bra before hand.

"What do you want?" Regulus asked in a angry voice and he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Lily sat back against the headboard as she waited for Regulus to return.

A few minutes later Regulus came back and immediately locked his door before making his way back over to Lily. He kissed her and Lily pulled his onto the bed with her.

"Everything alright?" She asked inbetween kisses.

Regulus hummed against her lips. "Yeah."

"What did Barty want?" When she asked, Regulus pulled away to look at her with a look of annoyance on his face.

"Does it matter?"

Lily shrugged.

"Okay, then stop asking about my fucking roommate and let me kiss you." And she did. Lily shut right up and let Regulus continue to please her.

[sweetchcolate]

drunken honesty

fandom: sugar apple fairy tale word count: 839

A/N: This was inspired by

my conversation with @adribelladonna about what a drunk Shall would be like

that one meme/incorrect quote of a drunk guy hitting on a woman, said woman saying she's married, him crying in disappointment, and the woman correcting him by saying she's married to HIM (or something along those lines)

Tbh though, I don't see canon!Shall ever getting drunk in any shape or form. Don't think he'd be fan of losing control :P

——–

The first thing he came to was the smell of silver sugar.

“Shall?”

Someone was calling him. Their voice was muffled, but sweet, gentle. He wanted to follow it.

“Shall?

His eyelids felt like they were fused together, but he managed to open them. Two red spots on a beige background stared back at him.

He blinked the fuzz out. The two red spots were in fact two eyes. They reminded him of Anne’s.

“Shall?” the person standing next to him asked again.

Ah, so that’s where the sweet voice came from. A hand cupped his cheek, and he leaned into the warmth with a sigh.

Those hands were safe. How he knew, he didn’t remember, but he was sure of it.

That was about the only thing he was sure of, in fact.

What… had he been doing?

He tried to focus, but his brain struggled with even the most simple of thought. He recalled bits and pieces: the clink of glasses, the off-tune chanting, Mythril Lid Pod’s incessant bugging…

Ah, right. Mercury had invited them all to a party — “To celebrate Anne’s fifth anniversary as a silver sugar master,” he’d said. There had been alcohol, and while he hated to drink, he had accepted a glass or two if only to shut Mythril Lid Pod up.

It seemed he had taken more than a glass or two.

Or maybe he just had some really potent alcohol.

Or a low tolerance.

Whatever the case, he was aching, he had trouble thinking right, he wanted to rest, and he wanted—

“Anne,” he breathed.

The other person smiled. “Yes, that’s me.”

Huh? He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus. The person had Anne’s red-orange eyes alright. Their hair was also the right color, a pale pink straw. But most importantly, they smelled of silver sugar: specifically, Anne’s silver sugar.

“It’s really you?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s really me.” Her smile fell a bit and he mourned its loss. He wanted her happy, not depressed. “Are you okay? I think you’ve drank a bit too much.”

The knowledge that this was Anne filled him with… with… he didn’t know what it filled him with, but he felt content and at peace. He leaned to rest against Anne, head on her shoulder. She was soft and cushy.

“I’m fine now that you’re here,” he mumbled.

Anne giggled. It filled him with pride that he could make her laugh.

Her arm came around his shoulders, and he burrowed his face deeper against her. When her free hand reached for his hair, carding her fingers through the strands, he let out a content sigh, mind and senses filled with her.

He could stay there forever.

“Let’s go back, Shall.”

He hummed. If they went back, then he could rest.

Hold on… rest meant going to bed. Going to bed meant leaving her. Leaving her meant being alone.

He didn’t want to! He wanted to stay like this, wanted to stay with Anne.

Ah, but wait. Didn’t married couples sleep together? If he and Anne were married, then he could sleep in the same bed as her.

Newfound resolution in mind, he found the strength to pull back from her embrace. He held onto her elbows for balance.

“Anne. Marry me,” he told her with the most seriousness he could manage.

She snorted. “I’m already married, silly.”

Something broke inside of him. It was like the ground had opened under him and swallowed him whole. It was like when Anne had sent him away, except a million times more heartbreaking and more confusing.

He thought that he knew Anne the best. How could he have missed her getting married? Why didn’t he do anything to prevent it?

But most importantly: “To whom?”

Anne smiled, a bit unsure. “To you, who else?”

And just as quickly as news of her marriage destroyed him, the news she was married to him made him whole again. His heart was back together and fluttering in his chest like a butterfly.

“You’re my wife?”

“Have been for a few years, yes.”

“You’re my wife?”

“Unless you have another brother called Shall fen Shall who looks and acts exactly like you, then yes.”

He embraced her with all the strength he had (which wasn’t very much: his arms felt like wet sugar), tucking his face against her neck, and breathing in her scent.

She was his wife. They were married. That meant—

“We don’t have to be apart?” he asked in a small voice.

“Is that what you were worried about?” Anne hugged him in return, rubbing a hand up and down his spine. “Even if we weren’t married, there’s no way I’d ever leave you.”

“I would never leave you too,” he confessed.

They stayed like that for a while. Lulled by Anne’s sweet scent and her warmth, Shall fen Shall’s eyes grew heavy, his breathing deepening. Soon, he was asleep.

“Shall? Shall, hold on, did you fall asleep on me? How are we going to go home? Shall? Shall!”

[izzy-b-hands]

Kraken Era Blackhands that tumbles into the promise of Steddyhands? why not. it happens here anyway lmao

---

"Don't make it weird," Ed mutters, shifting Izzy onto his back. "You're lighter than I remember."

"I doubt that," Izzy says, letting his head loll forward over Ed's shoulder. His arms wrap around Ed's chest, and his legs at Ed's waist.

"No, you are," Ed grunts. "Frenchie?"

"Yeah?" Frenchie jogs up from behind them. "Raid over?"

"Absolutely not," Ed scoffs. "Go get Fang and Ivan from the ship. I should have brought them and Jim instead."

"I'm here at least," Jim interjects. "Hey, his foot is still bl-"

"I'm aware," Ed snaps. "I need to carry Izzy back while you lot get started."

"Uh," Frenchie frowns. "Not to have Fang or Ivan carry Izzy back?"

"Don't question me," Ed continues. "Not now, not ever."

"Are you just mad because you stepped on Izzy's foot accidentally and now-"

"Move, both of you," Ed charges past them back down the path, head down like a battering ram.

They step aside, and Izzy fights off a giggle. What else can he do with all of it but laugh? It's that or cry, and that wouldn't be taken very well by anyone.

"Stop wiggling," Ed commands. "Izzy. Iz! Israel!"

He drops off of Ed's back into the dirt, cackling.

"Stop," Ed says sternly, but his lip wobbles.

"I'm trying," Izzy gasps.

"You aren't," Ed bites his bottom lip, but a giggle escapes. "Stop it!"

Izzy gives in and rolls nearly face down on the path, stomach aching from laughing.

"Fine then, I'll haul you back like this!"

Ed's hands grab his ankles, rolling him onto his back before dragging him.

"Fuck," Ed snorts. "I'm gonna crack your skull open on a rock."

He drops to the ground, covers his hands, and laughs.

"Thank you for stopping," Izzy pants, barely fighting off another giggle fit. "This takes me back though."

Ed lifts his head and nods. "Fuck. I'll get you back."

Izzy pats the dirt beside him. "Let the rest of them find us. Either Jim and Frenchie will wind up back here, or Fang and Ivan will come looking."

"Yeah," Ed sighs and lays by him. "But we were gonna go raid that small encampment on the other-"

"Ed," Izzy interrupts. "It's abandoned. I'm almost certain. The Kraken has done well to earn the fear of everyone and everything near here. If they can find a way to head elsewhere, they have. It's been like that for a good while now..."

Ed sighs, then scoffs, then grumbles which turns into a scream muffled in his hands.

"Ed?"

"How did I do this again?!" Ed says miserably. "I speed ran it this time too! Even faster than when I was Blackbeard. Now there's nothing going on, nothing exciting, nothing new or different, AGAIN!"

He wants to say something, but he doesn't know what would be best.

"Iz," Ed sits up. "I don't. I don't think I want to die."

"That's good to hear," Izzy drags himself up despite a persistent dizziness. "I don't think I want to die either. Not right now, at least."

"I want him back," Ed continues. "And I want our crew again, and-"

Ed turns to him. "I know you and Stede hate each other. I know."

"I'd hate him less if he took any of it seriously," Izzy says. "He knows he could die, right? Because despite having nearly died more than once now, he seems to not get it. It's concerning, and it effects everyone-"

"I know," Ed interrupts. "I'm. Going to ask something of you. I'm banking on your loyalty."

"I'll help you find fucking Bonnet," Izzy grumbles. "I'm tired, Ed. If he makes you happy, we'll find him. You want another party to go to? We'll find one. If you want it, I will do my damnedest to find it. Besides, rarely have I had reason to say no to you or question you if it didn't also affect the crew, so..."

"Really?" Ed asks. "And you'll stay, after?"

"What is your obsession with keeping both of us?" Izzy scoffs.

"I don't want to 'keep' either of you," Ed scoffs back. "Why wouldn't I want you both around if I like both of you, if I lo-"

Ed pauses. "Oh. Oh fuck."

"Oh no," Izzy says. "Not now. Ed-"

But then he's in Ed's lap, gently pulled over and helped to sit comfortably despite his foot still bleeding away, and maybe what Ed's suggesting might not be so bad.

--

"They had this," Frenchie says, and sets their bounty down on the galley table.

"This is a piece of string," Ivan remarks, nudging it with a finger. "And three coins. That I'm fairly sure aren't in use anywhere anymore."

"They also had this scarf they didn't need," Jim lays the floral purple scarf down. "And some oranges."

"Boss might like the scarf," Fang says. "And we can always use more oranges. The string..."

"Never know when we might need some string," Frenchie offers.

"Exactly!" Fang smiles. "And the coins might be of interest to a collector. All in all not bad for-oh, how many did you kill?"

"None," Jim replies. "It's like, three families and a few single old people there. They made us lunch, actually."

"Then we told them who we were and what we were supposed to be doing," Frenchie says. "And we came to the agreement, once Ed and Izzy didn't come back, to just have lunch and they'd offer up what they could if we'd leave them alone."

"Diplomatic," Fang says. "Where are Ed and Izzy then?"

"They aren't here?" Jim asks.

"No," Ivan replies slowly. "Fuck."

"I think we ought to put away the loot first," Frenchie says hesitantly, watching for reactions. "Find out where to put the string. Eat an orange or two. The scarf and coins we can set aside for Ed."

"A nap would be good too," Fang says. "So we don't get tired looking for them. Easier to get hurt that way."

"Rum will help us sleep better," Ivan adds. "Jim, shall we-"

"Fuck yes," Jim grins and leads the way to the pantry.

--

"They'll come back," Izzy yawns. "You're cold, let me give you my vest..."

"I'm fine," Ed mumbles. "I could put my shirt back on if I wanted."

"Hm. Yeah," Izzy snuggles into his bare chest. "I figured they'd walk in on us midway through."

"Me too," Ed sighs. "Ah well. More time to plan out things, figure out where to start looking for Stede..."

A fingertip traces the length of his jaw. "And to enjoy this. I missed this, Iz. I missed..."

"Don't worry about putting words too it," Izzy says. "Not now. It fucked us up the last time, doing that, remember?"

"Things are different now," Ed replies. "We're different now. That could be different too."

He'll already be sharing Ed with Stede. That's already a huge difference.

The emotions feel too huge to tackle now though, as the sun sets and they huddle into the brush near the path.

"I'm not good at any of this," Izzy keeps his eyes shut, face half pressed against Ed. "You know that."

"I know," Ed says. "But you'll try?"

"I want to be better."

The words are barely audible, even to him, but Ed hears it. He knows when Ed pulls him closer and tighter.

"I know you do. Me too."

--

"We were supposed to go find something," Frenchie says, bumping into Jim. "Shit, Ed and Izzy."

"Those are someones," Fang corrects, grabbing a new rum bottle from the latest box. "Here, you're nearly empty."

"Hey," Jim slings an arm over Frenchie's shoulders. "I'm gonna tell Ivan how cute Olu is. You wanna join us?"

Frenchie nods. "Hang on, I needed to-ah, there we go. More rum!"

"More rum!"

[captains-simp]

can you do a fic where reader unintentionally breaks one of the rules by accident so she has to be punished but the punishment is being ignored by BOTH wanda AND nat and reader is uncomfortable with being ignored because it makes her feel invisible and like she's a ghost so like this is what happens, reader breaks a rule in front of wanda and nat but reader doesn't realize she broke a rule but wanda and nat punish reader without telling reader first, and they punish her by not acknowledging her presence and stuff then reader just breaks and starts crying and stuff, she's really upset until nat and wanda cave in and see what's wrong with reader because they didnt know that reader didnt realize she broke a rule and her punishment was being ignored by them

also nat is dom, wanda is switch (like wanda is sub to nat but dom to reader) and reader is sub also nat, wanda and reader are in a poly dom/sub relationship and dating

Oh my god is this ✨smut with a developed storyline✨?

Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanoff ~ 3rd Wheel

Warnings: debatable toxic traits, feelings of abandonment and unlove, fingering, praise, oral and hints of overstimulation

2.4k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You giggled as Sam made stupid sound effects every time he paused in telling his story. You were pretty sure the story wasn’t true but hearing him tell it was entertaining enough. He put his hand on your forearm as he laughed at his own comeback to some apparently ‘very real’ character in the story and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. That was until your other arm was grabbed and pulled you to your feet. 

“It’s late, we should go.” Natasha said curtly. You nodded and said goodbye to Sam with a tight hug and followed after the Russian as Wanda joined her at her side. 

“How did your meeting go?” You teased the redheads. Officially, what you had just attended was a party. Unofficially, it was a chance for Natasha and Wanda to gather more intel for a future mission that they had been working on for months. Tony, to no one’s surprise, was more than happy to help by hosting the party and it was just like any other to everyone else. You had missed your girlfriend’s company at first, but had eventually started socializing with the others and the night had flown by. 

When you were met with silence you assumed you didn’t hear either of their responses over the music so you sped up your steps slightly to stick close by. Once you got to the car you knew they were in a bad mood. It was one thing when one of them was mad but both of them was a whole other storm. Not that it was always bad. Sometimes they would take that anger out on you in the bedroom and you had secretly been dying to be fucked like that for a while. 

You tried to make conversation a few times, telling the pair about Sam’s story and how it was probably about as real as fairies but they still didn’t respond. Of course, you had no idea that these things were just making them madder and that Wanda and Natasha were communicating silently most of the time, discussing the meeting as they ignored you. You gave up eventually and gazed out the window as you fiddled with the fabric of your dress. 

Once you were home things only seemed to get worse. “I made dinner before we left.” You said as you looked under the grill to find that the three served plates were still fine and put them on the counter. You had cooked before getting ready because you knew your girlfriends were busy and were going to be hungry when they got home. You glanced at the two women to see Natasha undoing her girlfriend’s zipper and placing a soft kiss between her shoulder blades. You smiled at the tender site. 

“Hey, where’s my kiss?” You teased as Natasha started towards the bedroom but shouldered right past you. You looked to Wanda but she didn’t spare you a glance either as she strolled through the apartment to your shared bedroom. You watched them go with a dry mouth and dragged yourself to the bathroom where you struggled to undo the zipper of your dress before finally succeeding after five minutes of struggling and sore arms. One of the redheads usually did it for you before you could even think to ask.  

You stepped into the shower and tried to focus on the feeling of the hot water running down your body, hoping it would distract you from the dull ache near your heart. It didn’t work. You wondered if you had done anything to annoy them at the party but could think of nothing. With a disgruntled sigh, you turned off the water and stepped out of the safety of the shower. You quickly dried off and tiptoed to your now-empty bedroom to change into your pajamas. 

When you went back into the kitchen you found only one of the plates was left. You glanced over at the living area to see Wanda and Natasha curled up together on the couch under a blanket as they watched TV and ate the food you made. They could have at least warmed mine up. You grumbled to yourself as you put it in the microwave and made yourself a drink. You trudged over to the couch but Wanda extended her legs to cover the free space just as you were about to sit down. You looked up at them both but their eyes were still glued to the TV. 

You sat down tentatively on the armchair closest to the couch and started taking small bites of your food. You weren’t paying attention to the screen at all. Instead, your eyes kept flickering to the two redheads curled up on the couch together. They looked so warm and tender laying together. You wished so desperately you could be with them, but instead you just felt like an outsider. That had always been a big insecurity for you. Wanda and Natasha were both Avengers and you were just a normal citizen. You often wondered if you ever felt like a burden, the weak part of their relationship. You could never understand their lives the way they could, you could only watch. Usually, you would voice your concerns and insecurities to them and they would assure you to no end that they loved you more than anything. However speaking had gotten you nowhere that night, so you kept it to yourself. 

You sat in the living room for hours. You wanted to go to bed so badly. You were utterly exhausted and your eyes were starting to hurt from the lights in the room you wanted to be shielded from. But you were determined not to go until the other two did. You wanted to be curled up between them both like you always were. You wanted to feel safe and secure and most of all loved. 

Finally, Natasha turned off the television and stretched out like a cat on the couch before standing and making her way to the bedroom, leading Wanda by the hand. You put your uneaten plate of food on the side to deal with the next day, too tired to even think about it at that moment. The pair instantly dropped down into bed and Natasha held Wanda tightly as she rested her head on the Russian’s chest. You gazed down at them longingly but forced yourself into bed besides them. You reached out your hand to tug weakly on their shirts, desperate for any kind of acknowledgement but received none. You withdrew your hand and held it up to your chest as you watched the pair. How long had they been craving time to themselves? 

You slowly got out from under the covers and left the room without feeling their usual fond gazes on your back. You lingered in the hallway before glancing back and saw Natasha tracing circles on Wanda’s back. You gulped back tears and made your way to the spare bedroom where you slept alone for the first time in months. 

*

You didn’t get up until lunch the next day. You didn’t feel like doing anything, especially not facing your girlfriend. You wanted to stay out of their way to give them the alone time they so clearly needed.

When you had finally dragged yourself out of bed and into the hallway you froze. Wanda’s moans could be heard clearly from your bedroom followed by sharp cries of Natasha’s name. You stood rooted to the spot as the pain in your chest grew worse. Since they had so keenly invited you into their relationship. The pair had never once done anything sexual without you. At first you had been flattered and insisted that you were okay if they wanted to do things by themselves every once in a while but eventually you had grown used to how things were. You had grown used to being included in everything. 

Numbly, you made yourself a hot chocolate in hopes of it raising your spirits. Not long after you had finished, your girlfriends came wandering into the kitchen with a new glow. 

“Do you want a drink?” You piped up, you could at least be helpful. Wanda grabbed something from the fridge as Natasha took out a glass from the cupboard and spun around to kiss her girlfriend on the lips with a soft giggle. Wanda smiled against her and hummed when Natasha’s tongue teased the Sokovian’s lower lip. 

“I love you.” Natasha hummed and Wanda smiled with a blush as she said the words back. 

“I- I love you too.” You added and took a desperate step towards them both, holding out your hands to them but they separated and started to stroll back into the living room. You watched on as tears sprung to your eyes. They didn’t say it back. They always said it back. “Please.” You whispered though you may have well have been talking to a wall. You whimpered quietly and weakly made your way to the guest room where you closed the door and fell down onto the bed, not being able to stop the tears streaming down your face. You curled up on yourself and hugged your duvet as close to your body as possible, needing something to cling onto like a lifeline. 

You didn’t hear the door open through your muffled weeping. You did feel the gentle pair of hands on your waist and the dip in the bed either side of you. Your head shot up and you looked between the pair in panic, fearing they were going to tell you to go elsewhere for the day or even forever. Wanda shushed you softly and held your dampened cheeks in her hands. 

“It’s okay, honey.” Wanda cooed and you whimpered as you tried to enjoy what you assumed was the last time she would hold you. “We’re not going anywhere and neither are you.” You peered at her cautiously and then Natasha who nodded gently. 

“We’re sorry, baby. Sam was getting a little too handsy last night and you didn’t seem to notice.” Natasha explained carefully. You remembered the brief moment he had touched your waist and frowned at the memory. 

“And you know letting people touch what isn’t theirs is breaking a rule.” You nodded slowly as Wanda added on.

“So your punishment was being ignored by us so you could learn but we took it too far.” Natasha admitted.

“And we never told you what was happening. We’re so sorry we made you feel this way, sweetie. We love you so much.” Wanda said as she kissed you softly on the lips as Natasha lay down behind you and wrapped her arms protectively around your waist. 

“So so much.” She added. 

“Promise?” You asked and Wanda lay down to join you and wipe your tears away. 

“Always.” 

“Let us show you.” Natasha whispered against your neck and you nodded as she rolled you gently onto your back and began planting soft kisses along your neck, occasionally lingering on patches of skin to suck dark bruises into them. Wanda titled your head towards you and kissed you slowly, cherishing the taste of you and wanting to reclaim all that she could. 

Natasha’s hands started to wander down your stomach and landed at the hem of your sweatpants that she easily surpassed along with your panties. You gasped when you felt her fingers run along your folds and up to your clit. You bucked your hips and moaned against Wanda when she applied some pressure, all while the Sokovian started to retrace her girlfriend’s steps by running her hands across your breasts. Her thumbs brushed against your hardened nipples and she hummed against you. 

Natasha finally pushed two fingers past your folds and relished in the slick that coated them instantly. She curled them gently inside you and withdrew to start about making a consistent pace that had you melting beneath them both. 

“That’s it, sweetie.” Wanda assured in the most loving tone you had ever heard from her. 

“Taking me so well. Our best girl.” Natasha hummed and withdrew her fingers. You whined softly but shushed when Natasha brought her fingers up to Wanda’s lips and slid them inside. The Sokovian hummed in delight around Natasha’s fingers, eagerly licking her slender digits before retreating to start down your body, determined to gain an unfiltered taste. 

Wanda pulled your sweatpants and panties off completely and kissed up your thighs softly, taking her time in treasuring you just as Natasha had done with your neck. She gleamed at the sight before her and didn’t hesitate to lick a long strip between your folds. You mewled in Natasha’s hold as Wanda moaned against you. “Always so sweet.” She dipped her tongue inside of you and you clenched around her muscle with a gasp.

“That’s it, you’re doing so good for us.” Natasha praised softly as she started to rub your clit with her free hand. You bucked against both their movements, feeling beautifully overwhelmed by it all. Wanda’s tongue flicked inside you and you moaned loudly into the air, tempting Natasha to quieten you with a kiss while your other girlfriend continued to work between your legs that were beginning to shake. 

“Please.” You whined as you felt your high approaching. The pair smiled at one another as they continued to please you. 

“I can feel you clenching my tongue.” Wanda mused.

“Go ahead and cum for us, baby.” You did as you were told without a second’s delay. You moaned loudly into the air as you shuddered against the bed and came undone on Wanda’s tongue. The pair helped you ride out your high and into another orgasm relentlessly. They didn’t let up, making you cum again and once more, leaving you feeling utterly exhausted and overworked. 

“That’s it, darling. You did so good for us.” Wanda praised as she fell down besides you and they both held you protectively. 

“We love you.” Natasha muttered softly and you smiled.

“I love you both too.” You hummed, enjoying the warmth of your girlfriends’ comfort.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Taglist: @freewaysigns-underpasses @caroldanvers2 @marvelwomenslut @marvelwomen-simp @likefirenrain @grxvitye @emilyprentisslittlewhore @lostandsearching @firenrain13 @horcruxhunter90 @mrs-avenger3000 @nightingalxx @sky-kim-00 @yeeterthekeeper @didujustcallmedumb @ymzki-haruki @uno-x-uno

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[0darkonyx0]

Are you my Dad?

A/N: I'll probably write more in this universe but it wont be as lengthy cause this ideas was just very cute and I still have ideas. This also was BARELY proofread

Summary: When Techno was going to search that abandoned fallout shelter he did not expect much but what he wasn't expecting was a child

(Nuclear Apocalypse/Fallout AU)

Platonic! Technoblade x Child! reader

Word count:1.8k

Warnings: apocalyptic themes?

This kind of apocalypse is based off the fallout games also TECHNODAD

--

To be fair, Technoblade didn't think this would happen. He had been on his way back from a job when discovered this old abandoned  fallout shelter.  He decided to go and search it for any supplies it had. Techno hadn't really expected much knowing that raiders most likely got to it before he had. But what he wasn't expecting was a seemingly alive child inside a cryogenic chamber.

‘Child pog...ORPHAN..Blood for the Blood god...take them… BLOOD.. ’ 

Techno tuned out the voices as they badgered on and on. He then scanned over the rest of the room. There were about a dozen chambers and the data tablets all showed them to be flatlined except the one with the kid. They looked no older than 4 years old from what he could tell. He didn't bother with it so he proceeded to go back to searching for anything useful and was about to exit the room until he heard a mechanical hissing sound from behind him. Alarm bells rang as his instincts went off, and he pulled out his pistol, turned around and aimed only to see the child that was once in the cryo chamber out in the open air staring up at him with unaware doe eyes. Techno realizing that there was no danger, slowly put down his weapon as he watched as the kid stumbled on their feet like a newborn deer due to them only coming unfrozen not even a minute ago. Once the kid got stable footing, they walked over to Techno and gazed up at him in curiosity. “Hullo” muttered Techno, looking down at them. The kid continued to blink up at him in curiosity, head tilted as he continued “What are you looking at?” He then crouched down to the kids level and tilted his head back at the kid. The kid proceeded to stare at him in curiosity until unexpectedly, the kid reached out and touched their hands to his face, gripping onto his tusks and touching his mutated features confused since they were different from their own. He almost thought he felt his heart squeeze a little at the kid's small hand curiously felt his face. He gently moves and pries the kids hands from his tusks  and face and stands back up.

 ‘Little baby…. SO SMALL…. ADOPT….E...EW ORPHAN…PROTECT..’ 

As the voices cooed , Techno huffs and  goes on his way to the door and exits the room. He held his weapon out at the ready since creatures tended to wander around fallout shelters especially abandoned ones. As he walked through halls, he could hear the tapping of small feet following him, very different sounding from his own hooved feet. Looking over his shoulder he saw the curious eyes from earlier peeking out from a corner. This proceeded to happen several times and with each time it amused him more and more. The kid followed him around like a duckling would  as he searched through the room in the vault. He had been in the medical bay, looking around when he heard a small yelp of fear behind him. He turned in urgency and saw the child, cornered by a adroach  with it trying to bite them. In urgency he pulled out his modified bat and killed it. The kid was clearly terrified, with tears streaming down their face. Once they noticed it was dead they ran over to him hiding their face into Techno’s body, clinging to him. Techno went still, not knowing what to do. He slowly patted their back in an attempt of comfort. “..It's okay…?” Techno said, unsure if that would be any help to console the child that was currently clinging to him. It seemed to work because slowly the kid stopped crying ‘TECHNOSOFT…..PROTECT…..BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD...TECHNOPROTECT…’

 When the kid was calmed down enough techno tried to pry his shirt from the kids tight grip but they wouldn't budge. He had almost had the kid pried off of him but the kid looked as if they were about to cry again and decided not to try anymore. Techno signed and looked down at the clinging child and said reluctantly “Seems like you’ll be traveling with me for now, since you obviously can't take care of yourself..” ”The name is Technoblade.. You got a name?” he asked. “(y/n)...” the kid muttered out , it being muffled due to their face still being pushed into his pants. Technoblade didn't see the point of searching anymore due to the addition to his party and for the fact that there wasn't much of anything. “C’mon kid.. You need to let go. I can't move properly with you clinging to my leg like that” Techno told the kid. The kid looked reluctant but did so now only holding Techno’s wrist. He let the kid do it.  Pulling the kid along he navigated his way with the help of his modified Pip Boy to the entrance he came in which happened to be the vault door that is in mangled bits. He gently pulled the kid along to the opening where they both could see a dirt tunnel with sunlight at the end. “Let's get going, kid” Techno ushered them along the path to the dirt tunnel until they exited. Techno shielded his eye from the sun with his hand. It didn't affect him much since he only was down there for a couple of hours but it affected (y/n) the worst since they were hiding their face into Techno’s body. Once their eyes got used to the brightness of the sunlight they slowly peeked out and removed their face from techno’s body. Checking his surroundings  he looks down at his Pip Boy’s map to see how long it would take to get to the nearest town. His main mission was to get back to L’Manburg so he could get his payment for the job he took. The closest town was a few hours on foot and L’Manburg was even longer, being a couple of days away. He sighed looking down at the kid, the kid looked back up at him. “You ready?” Techno asks and the kid nods their head aggressively giving Techno a toothy bright smile. ‘I'm so done for’ Techno thought, feeling his heart squeeze tighter than before.

--------------

 It was 2 and a half hours into the walk when (y/n) started to slow down tiredly. Their eyes drooped tiredly, not wanting to walk anymore they tugged on Techno’s sleeve. Techno stopped and looked down at them. “What?” Techno asked. (y/n) looked up and made a grabbing motion upward, signaling they wanted up. “mm..sleepy..Teh-no bade..” they muttered tiredly and pouted. Internally he totally wouldn't admit his heart absolutely melted at the kid's  sleepy actions and how they said his name. He almost didn't pick up the kid but he fought against that thought and picked them up in his arms ,holding them with one. Once in his arms the kid nuzzles into his neck.

‘TECHNODAD...DADNOBLADE...AWWWW…..SO CUTE….LITTLE DUCKLING..TIRED LITTLE ONE...’

His heart almost certainly exploded. ”It’s pronounced Tech-no-blade” He quietly corrected, smiling slightly down at the kid that was slowly falling into slumber. For the short amount he has spent with this kid he just knew he wouldn't be able to leave them, no matter how hard he would try. He’d protect and care for them until he couldn't anymore.

---------

The trip was quite chaotic but they finally made it to L’Manberg. He comes to find out on this trip that once (y/n) got more comfortable with him they seemed to be more talkative and even more curious than before.  They were quite the chatterbox, babbling about anything and constantly asking questions about anything and everything even if they aren't the best at speaking. Usually the senseless talking would annoy him since he had grown up with Tommy but he found it endearing in a way. It grew to be the same thing with Tommy as well. Now that they are at the destination he can get his payment for the job ,maybe buy some things for the youngling and pick up some more bounties and jobs. Currently the kid is perched on his shoulders having the time of their life, them having never been up so high. They were giggling lots, gripping onto his dull pink hair to stay upright. They were quite the duo as they were gaining a ton of stairs. A little human getting a shoulder ride from a 7’8 mutated half pigman that is known as the Blood God. Techno could care less since he can just give a small glare and they would run away due to his status around here. He needed to get his payment jobs from the broker at the Las Nevadas bar so he could get back on his way but he first needed to drop off the kid at his home.  Techno proceeded to change course to his residence. He started to walk off in the direction of his house. The little one on his shoulders had long since gone quiet until they piped up with a question. 

“Where are we?”

“We’re going to my house”

Once his eyes caught the sight of the door to his home he lifted the kid off his shoulders and set them down on the ground. Pulling the keys out to the lock, he opens the door and guides (y/n) in. Once he closed the door behind them (y/n) let go of his hand and ran off to explore their new environment. Not long after he soon heard the tapping of claws on wood coming rapidly towards him. The thing that had been  making all the running towards him had come into sight as his dog Floof came barreling towards him.  Crouching down with a small smile, he meets the dog on the floor and gives him all the pets he couldn't give him when he was out. Once he looked up he noticed the kid tugging at his sleeve while looking at Floof in curiosity and slight apprehension. “..What's dat?” they asked, still looking at Floof. “This is Floof, my dog” “Oh” they nod in understanding. “He won't bite, don't worry. ”He reassures them. The apprehension from before completely disappears and courage is shown as they bend down and pet the dog the same as how they saw Techno do it.  Techno looks at them in straight fondness unexpectedly. Honestly he thought he didn't really like children all that much but when he met the little one somewhere deep inside instantly would kill for the kid and it got attached. ”I'm going to go out for a bit, be good both of you and stay here, ok?” He tells them. (y/n) and pulls their attention back to Floof and gives it all their attention. His mouth upturns slightly and he proceeds to leave his home to get his money for his bounty.

-----------

Taglist: @strawberrymilkgeorge​ @struggling-with-time @bugsinmycoldsoup

[books-and-catears]

Hihihiiiii!!!!! Omg I'm so excited to ask this one-> ok so can you write/headcanon the Brothers and Undatables in a situation where MC can't swim and the brothers + undatables don't know it until one of the squad (Solomon's voodoo) picks MC up and throws them into a pool/fountain on the deep end as a joke? And MC drowns?

Bonus if anyone aside from Satan, Leviathan, and Lucifer know CPR and double bonus if Beel manages to rebibe w/o cracking a rib on MC!!

Aww heyheyhey!!! We love excitement in this house yes we do. Thank you so much for the angsty ask!

It got a bit long so I'll do it in two parts! I hope that's okay? Also I hope I can do it justice :3

It was a summer afternoon in Devildom. Diavolo had invited the whole gang upto his castle. Solomon had recently told him about pool parties and he was excited to try it out.

Everyone came in, already having the time of their lives splish splashing in the water, or going ham on Barbatos and Luke's snacks.

You were there, dipping your feet in water, enjoying the cool feeling between your toes. Everyone kept inviting you in the water, you tried to put them off by saying "Maybe later!"

You could have just said you couldn't swim. But that was too embarassing to admit, so you just shook your head and splashed water at them instead.

Mammon and Asmo were splashing water on you, so you didn't see the Little D's sneak up and hoist you up from behind. Before you knew it, you were sent flying headfirst into the water. Maybe you should have told them, you thought.

Maybe that would be better than the endless blue, the distinct lack of air and burn in your lungs as you tried hard to swim to the surface and lost all energy.

(Part 1: The Brothers)

Lucifer

"MC enough playing around. Come Bach up now." Got tensed when you didn't Immediately float up to the surface.

"MC?" He dived in to check on you. His eyes grew wide when you saw struggling, flapping your hands and feet aimlessly.

"MC HOLD ON!" The panic in his voice was muffled by the water. You felt your body being held and pulled up to the surface.

"MC? MC can you hear me?! MC!" You felt someone shaking you, their hands warm on your arms. And then your lips turned warm.

You'd recognise that kiss anywhere. It was more urgent this time, as Lucifer tried his best to get air into you.

"Luci... fer.." You choke out before coughing violently and spitting the pool water everywhere.

"You're okay..." He lets out the biggest sigh of relief. He holds you tight in his arms and takes you inside to dry you off. "I thought I lost you again..."

"Whoever is responsible for this," The suppressed rage in his voice sounded deadly, "will pay for it."

Mammon

"Oi human! Are ya sulking down there?!" Mammon joked as he dived downwards to bring you up.

"They got ya pretty good huh-" He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the state you were in. Your eyes closed and your limbs horribly limp.

"MC! MC WHAT HAPPENED?!" Mammon grabbed you and pulled you up instantly. Even in your dazed state, you could feel the pounding of his heart and the cracking of his voice.

"MC not again please not again I'm sorry I'm sorry please wake up..." He was crying now. His tears and hands were warm on your skin as pushed at your chest cluelessly.

"THEY'RE NOT WAKING UP! LUCIFER SATAN DIAVOLO SIMEON SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!" He was frantic and clamping his mouth on yours now, gasping more than blowing air.

You coughed and sputtered eventually. "Mammon... you...are exceptionally bad at CPR." Mammon hid his face in your shoulder and hugged you like there's no tomorrow.

You laugh and try to tell him you're okay but all he does is hold you and cry. "I'm the worst protector...I'm so sorry MC.."

Leviathan

"Welcome to my turf, MC!" Levi laughed as he waited for you to float back up. But you weren't. Are you stuck on something? He sees air bubbles on the surface.

He dives down and swims towards you swiftly. "MC OH NO! WAIT MC IM COMING!" He darts to towards you and gets you out the fastest.

He starts to tear up and panic cause this is just like that sad anime "Lost my Best Friend in the Deep". Embarassment be damned, he can't let you go.

He urgently called for his brothers for help and fumbled with you held tightly in his arms. He pushed on your chest and watched the water sputter out.

"MC?? You're okay now, right??! MC!!?" The urgency in Levi's voice caught you off guard. You open your eyes to see him teary eyed and sniffling.

"I'm okay Levi..." You say, your hand reaching to hold his face. He breaks down at your touch.

Pressing his face harder into your hand and crying. He's so glad you're okay. "I thought I lost my best friend...don't worry MC, I'll teach you how to swim!"

Satan

"MC, you do know how to swim right?" Satan called out to you, right after the splash. There was something about the way you fell that made him feel uneasy.

When you didn't float back up, he immediately dunked himself downwards, only to see his suspicions were right.

"MC! It's okay it's okay I've got you!" Satan's arm wrapped around you as he pressed a warm kiss on you under water. The flames in your lungs died down a little.

He rushes you upto the surface and lays down gently, tilting your head at the optimal angle.

His mouth is on you again. Urgently breathing life back into you. He also had spells ready in case this usual way didn't work.

"Satan...? You...thank you.." You said tired as you leaned into him, wrapping your arms around him weakly after vehemently coughing.

He lets out a sigh of relief and bumps his lips against your head softly, cradling you in his arms. "Why wouldn't you say that you couldn't swim? Don't do this to me ever again, MC, you're all I have..."

Asmodeus

"MC darling, no need to be embarrassed, you looked so cute when you fell like that! Come up now!" Asmo giggled as he watched the water, waiting for you to come back up.

He gets panicky when you're still not up yet. Swims down as he quickly as he can calling out your name. "OH NO! MC WHAT'S GOING ON?! MC!"

He reaches for your hands and starts tugging you towards him. Why are your eyes closed like this? Why have you gone limp?!

He pulls you up to the surface, frantically calling out to Satan and Solomon for help, all the while bouncing you in his arms like a baby as a attempt to gain conciousness.

He's full on sobbing as he Solomon gives you CPR. The moment you cough and sputter, he pounces on you, his head pressed against your cold chest, now rising and falling normally.

"Asmo... don't cry...I'm okay.." You say weakly smiling and trying to hug him back, running your hands in his hair.

He holds you close and presses kisses on your whole face."MC! You gave me such a fright! Don't do that again please, MC! I can't bear the though of you gone again!"

Beelzebub

"Ah I'm so sorry I couldn't catch you MC" Beel even had his arms outstretched so he could catch you before you fell, but he missed.

He's fastest to get to you after Levi. "MC? Are you okay down there- MC?! Why are you being like that?!" He gets frantic and scoops your limp body in his arms.

This is his worst nightmare. He urgently gets to the surface panicking inside. "MC..please wake up.." He calls out sadly, as he gently lays you down.

You're barely breathing. He knows what he has to do. But you're so fragile compared to him he doesn't want to hurt you.

He tries as gently as possible to push against your chest to regulate your breathing again.

"Beel..Beel..." You cough out his name as you reach up to hold his face in your hands. He stops immediately and engulfs you in a hug.

He doesn't say a word. He doesn't need to. His teary eyes and tight grip as he lifts you up and takes you inside the house to feed you, says everything you need to know.

Belphegor

"MC you're so easy to sneak upon hehe. Come here and lie with me." He was just snoozing at the edge, smiling down at where you just fell.

What's taking you so long to come back up?He impatiently dived downwards to find you. And he was horrified by what he saw. "MC?!Damnit MC, why didn't you call for me!?"

He hoists you into his arms and tries giving you a kiss of air like he'd seen in Levi's shows. Still unsure of what to do, he just hurries you up to the surface.

"They were struggling to swim. Something's wrong. Fix them please. Fix them fast." He said, calling out to his brothers. He held your hand shakily and lay next to you, as Beel gave you CPR. His grip tightened once you started coughing.

"Belphie... I'm okay..." You squeezed his hand as tight as you could. He hid head in your shoulder before picking you up in his arms.

He wrapped you up in a towel and tried to make you fall asleep in his arms. "That was a horrible feeling. I don't want to feel that again." He mutters to himself while holding you closer.

[jungkxook]

—stay. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: popstar!jungkook x groupie!reader + smut / sprinkle of angst and fluff

⟶ words: 8,083

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: jungkook wasn’t always so madly in love with you but the fact that you’re sleeping with two of his band mates too makes things a tad bit complicated.

⟶ warnings: multiple smut scenes, slight dom themes, oral sex, finger sucking oops, boob fondling, hair pulling ft. jungkook’s undercut, doggy style, missionary, thigh riding, spitting, jealous kook!!, unprotected sex, kind of slight possessive themes? but also just general sweetness tbh 

⟶ disclaimer: my time jungkook still has me in my feels! also, this is a repost of an old fic on an old blog.

“Stay with me?”

Jungkook asks this hopefully, of course, but he already knows the answer. It’s just that, lying there with you on the hotel room bed, there’s no other place he’d rather be ━ and there’s no one else he’d rather experience the moment with than you. Legs tangled together on top of the duvet with your fingers tracing circles onto his bare chest, Jungkook swears he’s in love with you ━ only, you’re not his to have. 

“I have to go,” You pout, though your fingers continue drawing constellations on his skin, treading down his arm and over the tattoos that adorn him. You’re focusing now on the lily on his forearm, around and around, sending his head spiralling. “Promised my friends we could hang out today. Besides, don’t you have Mina or Nina━” You wave your hand in the air to dismiss the thought━ “coming over soon?”

“Who?” It takes him a moment to even remember who you’re talking about. Truthfully, he hasn’t seen that girl in well over six months but he’d never tell you that. In fact, he hasn’t been seeing anyone else other than you but he would definitely never tell you that. “Oh, yeah. Well, I think she’s coming over later tonight.”

“Well━” You trail off, and Jungkook knows it’s because you’re stalling. You want to stay, and he knows it well enough, but every question you ask him is just meant to further reassure you that it’s okay if you stay. That he wants you to. “Aren’t you busy with work today before the second show?”

Jungkook shrugs. “We still have lots of time before the day starts.”

You shake your head at him but he knows he ultimately wins out when you start to smile to yourself. You prop yourself up beside him and he has to admire momentarily how you’ve never been timid in front of him when you’re naked. His hand reaches out to brush his fingers against your cheek and you smile down at him. But then something seems to dawn on him that he can’t believe he foolishly hadn’t thought of first. 

“Unless… Unless you need to see one of them soon.”

“Who?”

“Taehyung or Namjoon.” It takes all he can muster to say their names without a trace of bitterness. He lifts himself up on his elbow. “Are you still seeing them?”

You shrug innocently. Sitting up a little straighter, you brush his hand away and fidget with your hair. “Would it matter if I was?”

Yes, he wants to scream but he refrains. “No. I just━” he stops. “Just curious. Is that what you meant by work then? You have to go see Tae or something right after me? ”

“No, you prick.” He’s relieved you giggle at him, fingers poking at his chest despite the fact that he was mentally cursing himself for being a dick the minute the words left his mouth. “Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of sex. Friends, too.”

“I know, I know,” he says sheepishly. “Sorry, I━ I know. You said you wanted to go shopping downtown before the show tonight, right? One of your friends ━ Dahyun ━ goes to school in the next city over and she’s taking the day off to see you. I do listen when you talk, y’know?”

He doesn’t miss the warm smile that spreads across your face. You finally return to him, kissing him slow and steadily. In the meantime, he flips you over onto your back and then parts from you much to your dismay. He’s nestled himself between your legs in an instant, kissing up your thigh and sending shivers down your spin. Your hand flies down to twine your fingers in his hair, now much longer than usual.

“I guess I could stay a little longer, if you’d want me to,” You say. 

“I do.”

He wastes no time in swiping his tongue at your folds, his mouth wrapping perfectly around you. You’re already mewling with delight. That’s all it ever is with the two of you. Sex and more sex. And while Jungkook isn’t complaining, he sure does wish he could just have more of you. Jungkook burrows a little deeper, his nose rubbing against your clit as he eats you out. 

“Morning sex does sound nice,” You manage to say, breath shaking.

“Yeah,” he rasps against you. “It does, doesn’t it?”

Your thighs are already threatening to squeeze shut around his head, fingers tightening in their hold. His own hands find purchase on your waist, stretching outward to hold on to you, and nothing can break you both apart. Not even the muffled sound of rapid knocking on the front door of the too grand hotel room. At least, not the first two times. On the third time when it’s followed by the sound of Jungkook’s manager irritably calling out through the flimsy wood panel, does Jungkook groan into your cunt and poke his head upward, craning his neck to look over his shoulder as his manager’s voice carries infuriatingly loudly to you both once again. 

“Get up already, will you? We’ve got several business meetings to conduct today and we haven’t got time for you to sleep off a hangover or whatever it is you’re doing━”

“Gimme ‘til noon!” Jungkook asserts gruffly. He settles himself back between your thighs, and you surely don’t miss the devious way he smirks just before burrowing his head into your heat. There’s an inaudible sound that he makes, that you and certainly his manager can distinguish as being, “I’m too busy right now.”

Busy is an understatement, pointedly made clear when his tongue delves into you, lapping at your leaking wetness as if he were terribly quenched and only you could save him. You don’t think Jungkook taking his morning to eat you out is a good enough excuse that will run over well with his manager later in the day, but it drives him away for now with only a grumbled chorus of words left in his wake. But the silence only lasts for so long. Just as Jungkook is getting comfortable once more, you speak up.

“I don’t think tardiness is a very good quality to have as a celebrity,” You ponder aloud through a heavily pleased sigh.

“Ah, or it’s exactly the thing I need,” he counters with a shit-eating grin. “Being late is a very celebrity thing, isn’t it?”

“When the fame gets to their head,” You snort. Your voice splinters off into a whimper as he tilts his chin up a little higher, lapping deeper into you.

“Then I guess I’m bad.” His voice murmurs against you, rattling you to the bone.

“You’re definitely far from bad. Everyone thinks you’re an angel.”

“Wonder if they’d think the same thing if they saw me now━” He pinches lightly at the inside of your thigh, “head between your legs, and you coming on my tongue.”

You roll your eyes, but your wittiness falls short when he tugs with his teeth at your folds. Your back arches off the bed at once, hips pressing harder against his face.

“Namjoon called last night,” You say. No, you don’t say it. You moan it and even though Jungkook knows it’s because of him and how he’s making you feel in that moment, he still hates hearing someone else’s name roll off the tip of your tongue that isn’t his. “If you must know. Said he wanted to see me in the morning━”

Jungkook grimaces. He grunts shortly, “Guess you’re gonna have to let him down.”

“I’m sure Joon will love that━”

“Don’t,” he hisses. He bites down a little harshly on the inside of your thigh but you don’t mind. When he glances up to look at you, his stare is dark and hooded. “Don’t say their names. Not now. Please.”

You almost miss the desperation in his voice, the way he almost whines his words. You don’t ask, even though you’re curious. You don’t ask, even when he eats you out that morning until he’s made sure you’re crying his name and nothing else. You don’t ask, even when fucks you slow and deep and measured and almost, dare you say, loving like he never has before, clinging onto you as if he can’t live without you. You don’t ask, even when he may get a little rough (just how you like it), as if he’s afraid you’ll leave him right then and there. You don’t even ask when he sucks not one but two hickeys on your neck, large enough for anyone to see. For Taehyung and Namjoon to see.

You never really do ask, even though you notice things have become different.

It’s not as if you haven’t always been close to one another. There are more times than not in which you both physically can’t keep your hands off of one another in public, though in the safest and simplest ways possible. It’s there, in the way you sit next to him with your legs crossed regally on the couch in the green room backstage before a set, playing with the rings on his fingers on the hand resting on your shoulder; there, in the way you sit draped across his lap, leaning into his chest, in the studio as they blur through recordings. When you give advice on composing or lyric writing, Jungkook listens. When you giggle into his ear and whisper lewd things when you probably shouldn’t in the middle of a party with important business men and other celebrities, Jungkook is captivated. 

It wasn’t always supposed to be like this. Jungkook wasn’t always so madly in love with you, but he always knew there was something about you he just could not get enough of. You had chosen him first, approaching him late one night at a bar, and he was instantly head-over-heels. Even if it was mutually agreed upon ━ and oftentimes never really outwardly mentioned ━ that you could sleep around with him, Namjoon, and Taehyung, then Jungkook would have to deal with it. He would do anything, if it meant getting to see you more. At first he didn’t even mind. What was one more groupie to the ever growing list he had already accumulated? He’s never gotten feelings for any of them, so surely he thought he would be okay with you; that maybe whatever he was feeling for you would go away. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

After he asks you the question the first time, he finds himself stuck in a greedy months-long habit of asking you wistfully every time he finds you in his bed. He asks it a thousand and one times, but only ever gets one response from you. You’ll say no, that you have to leave, and sometimes you will. But sometimes ━ sometimes when he knows he wins out because he knows you let your guard down long enough to become besotted by him, a tangible mess with his every touch ━ you’ll linger just a little longer and the notion alone is enough to instill a sense of hope in Jungkook even if he knows it’s wrong. 

And maybe you shouldn’t play along. Then again, he takes all your time and you devote what little you have left afterward to him anyway, pretending that you’re still seeing Taehyung and Namjoon when you’re certainly not.

Sometimes Jungkook catches you when he doesn’t mean to, or isn’t expecting to, and it’s all different moments that physically pain him. Sometimes those moments come from paying one of the guys a visit and stumbling upon you there, too. 

After having not seen you for the whole day, and just before the concert begins, Jungkook is called over to Namjoon’s room within the hotel to discuss some last minute changes to the show (which Jungkook’s positive he would have heard about if he hadn’t ignored his manager early in the morning). Only Namjoon doesn’t answer the door when Jungkook arrives. There’s a crescendo of giggling on the other side of the threshold and then it’s you, and you’re standing there wearing nothing but a baggy shirt of Namjoon’s that barely covers your bum (and shorts too, he thinks, but Jungkook’s much too focused now on you in Namjoon’s shirt). Namjoon’s standing a bit further back, leaning against the wall of the hallway without a shirt on and he’s grinning at something that’s just happened. 

“Took you long enough,” Namjoon calls out. “Come in, we’ll get started. I’ll just be right back━ Just hopped out of the shower━” And then he disappears into another room, most likely to find another shirt that isn’t taken by you.

“Jungkook!” You greet him so cheerfully, as if the sight of you half naked in another man’s home isn’t eating away at Jungkook. You pull him into a hug that’s so tight he can smell your familiar perfume and probably Namjoon’s lingering scent if he focuses hard enough. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Jungkook says. He doesn’t mean for his voice to sound so standoffish. He hopes you don’t notice. “You’re back early.”

“Yeah. The girls had to leave but that’s okay.” You’re smiling so bright and wide that it almost hurts. “Namjoon━”

“Wanted to see you?” Jungkook finishes for you, remembering your words earlier in the day. 

“Yeah━” You’re rambling on now but Jungkook isn’t listening. The pain is still lingering and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He knows it isn’t right but he can’t be bothered to care. In that moment, he realizes he’d rather be anywhere but there and he’s never felt that way before.

“Uh━ You know what?” He cringes slightly when he interrupts you. “Forgot I had to do something actually. Mina called earlier ━ said she wanted to talk or whatever.”

Your face immediately drops at the mention of the other girl and it pains him even more to know that you don’t see through his blatant lie. What’s worse is that Mina had called him the night before, but he had turned her down promptly before she could even say what she wanted. 

You glance over your shoulder fleetingly as if to look for Namjoon, teeth sinking into the soft flesh of your lower lip. “But I thought you needed to talk with Joon about the show?”

“Can’t, sorry. Tell Namjoon he can do whatever he wants. I don’t care. Seems like he’s got his hands full with you here anyway.”

He hates himself for it ━ he hates how petty he can be, how rude he can sound without truly meaning it ━ but before he can explain himself or apologize in a way that would probably make him look even more like an idiot, he turns his back to you. It’s the first time he’s really ever done something like that. Usually, he puts up with it ━ with you draped over Namjoon’s lap or Taehyung’s hand on your waist because usually he hadn’t always had feelings for you. 

Truth be told, Jungkook doesn’t know how Namjoon or Taehyung feel about “sharing” you. He doesn’t even know how you feel about it or if you’ve noticed Jungkook’s short temper lately. He tries to contain it but he can’t and he hates how he’s become when he’s not alone with you. Lately, he’s started to think that maybe this isn’t right anymore. Maybe he shouldn’t keep meeting up with you if he’s going to feel this way all the time, and it wasn’t fair to you for him to be sulking so much. He’s not supposed to be in love. He’s supposed to be having fun. 

After all, that’s what it was to you, wasn’t it?

But that night something happens.

Jungkook only notices you half an hour into the show later that night even despite the fact that you’re in the same place that you always are, standing on the side in the part of the pit closest to the stage where only family and close friends are allowed to stay. Of course you’re dancing along, just like you always do, and of course you’re watching him and the rest of the boys with starry eyes, just how he loves. You smiled wide at some point when his gaze locked with yours ━ him, drenched in sweat and nearing exhaustion, and you, face-flushed and looking as if you’re having the time of your life.

But that’s the thing about you ━ you’re not like the others. Sure, your eyes tend to drift to him more often than not and linger on him longer than necessary but you don’t just come for him. You live for the music, admire the rest of the boys that have treated him so dearly and make the group what it is. 

And the way he performs ━ you wonder if he purposely exerts himself more because he wants you to only focus on him. Every rough thrust of his hips, every time he grabs at his crotch, dark and hooded eyes meets yours and you know he’s trying to tease you. Trying to make you suffer.

Later, when the concert is finished and you’re at a private room in a club with the boys to celebrate the evening and Jungkook has had one too many shots, he finds you at the bar. He sidles up from behind you, one palm sliding onto the small of your back. You know it’s him even before you look, judging by the familiar stature of his chest pressing against your body, and his usual scent. His lips press to the crook of your neck and your lips unfurl into a smile. You reach up blindly to grab at the nape of his neck as he starts to sway against you to the beat of the music, hips digging into your ass.

“I’ve been dying to be next to you all night.” He whispers this into the shell of your ear and you wonder vaguely how you’ve maintained enough self-control to not drop to your knees and suck him off then and there. Even worse is the fact that he’s still adorned in the makeup from the concert. Your fingers scratch at one of the newly shaved sides of his head, the rest of his long locks only maintain some of its original style pushed back and off his forehead, though now messily mused as it splays out on either side of his head and threatens to hide the undercut once more.

“You’re drunk,” You point out. He doesn’t seem to register the fact that you only point it out because otherwise, if he wasn’t so smashed, you aren’t quite sure he’d even be touching you the way he is now after the way he’s been acting lately.

“So are you,” Jungkook hums. “Let’s get out of here?”

And you can’t possibly say no. 

He thinks it’s a shame, really, because you had looked quite pretty that night wearing a velvet red dress. Because after somehow calling a taxi and stumbling back to his dorm, he gets lost in you for a while and completely ravishes you, impatiently ripping your dress off you and pressing you against the wall, hips eagerly digging into yours until you hook your legs around his hips and he carries you off to bed to finish. 

When you’re spent from your first high, Jungkook moves from your sprawled out positions on the bed and gets up, pulling on a pair of discarded sweatpants from the floor. You watch him as he combs his hair back that’s fallen into his face again, muscles in his biceps rippling as he does so. He reaches for an acoustic guitar in one corner, then sinks onto the edge of the bed. He’s not usually this quiet after a night spent together, though you don’t quite seem to notice, thinking nothing of it as he starts plucking away at the guitar with a melody in mind if only because when he’s frustrated and stuck on a lyric, he usually goes to you in seek of help in terms of finding relief. You get to your knees, crawling over to him so that you can drape your arms around his shoulders from the back.

“That’s pretty,” You sigh dreamily, nodding to the guitar and the lazy strumming he had been doing. In the distance, you realize there’s been music playing faintly the whole time from the dock where his phone is plugged in. You recognize one of the boys’ songs playing, then realize it’s Jungkook’s solo, his own voice singing beautifully back to you. Above all else, you realize all at once that he isn’t really playing anything at all, or brainstorming a new song, but plucking along absentmindedly to the melody of his own song. 

He’s distracted but he tenses at your touch, then relaxes at once, melting instantly against you. “Just messing around,” he sighs.

“Nonsense,” You giggle. He glances over at you just in time to see you reach for his hand, and he watches as you play with the rings on his fingers. “There’s magic in these hands. In more ways than one.”

You press a chilling kiss against his palm, and then the tip of each of his fingers. Time seems to slow, and all he can suddenly focus on is you. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” His voice has a dull, stubborn whine to it that he can’t shake. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Once or twice,” You smirk. You busy yourself by focusing on lining the bottom of your palm with his, measuring your hand in his. He’s much bigger than you, his fingers nearly towering over yours and they’re always so snug and warm.

“Well, it’s true,” he says. “You’re the kinda girl songs are written about.”

“Unless I’m mistaken,” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, “you have written songs about me.”

He feigns a look of doubt, though a smile threatens to tug at his mouth, especially when you delicately lace your fingers with his one-by-one. “Ah, is that what you think, baby girl? Don’t let the fame get to your head.”

You laugh, dropping your head and leaning your temple against his knuckles in an attempt to hide your sheepish face. With his free hand, he sets his guitar back onto the floor and then unravels his other hand from yours. His palm is calloused and hot as it slides onto your cheek, and you nuzzle into it even despite him guiding your face back up to look at him. He can’t help himself; he leans in to kiss you, biting at your lower lip and earning a delicious moan. As his hands come to grip at your sides just over your ribs and the underside of your breasts do you crawl into his lap to straddle him. For a while, he lets himself get carried away, feeling your hands roam his chest, but then with such vivid intensity, he can only imagine Namjoon and Taehyung in the same position as him and it almost makes him want to vomit. Either that, or it’s the alcohol. Gathering his wits, he shakes his head, pulling apart from you.

“I think I should write━” He fumbles uselessly with his words. “Namjoon’s gonna kill me if I don’t finish these songs━”

You arch your chest against his, warm and soft and palpable, and your hips dig into his a little more roughly, rubbing against his straining erection. You can be heard whining sluggishly as you kiss the underside of his jaw, “But I want you inside me, Kook.”

His breath hitches in his throat, but he can’t think straight anymore. Is the scent he smelling even you anymore, or just a mix of Namjoon and Taehyung? And when you tell him he’s the only one who can ever make you feel the way he does, do you tell that to them too? 

His silence is answer enough, and is what ultimately forces you to look up at him. You’re met with an empty expression, then your own countenance is contorting. You sit back on his lap. 

“I don’t understand you anymore, Jungkook,” You say. There it is, he laments to himself. The familiar pang to his chest, the dreaded realization that maybe he’s fucked this whole thing up forever. “It’s like sometimes you can’t get enough of me, touching me here and there and just before shows when you’re supposed to be on in ten minutes, telling me that no one will care if you’re late. Then sometimes it’s like you won’t even look at me. Like you can’t get me off of you fast enough; like you can’t even touch me anymore.”

Jungkook avoids your stare, which he knows is exactly the sort of thing he shouldn’t do. But you already have your answer. You clamber off of his lap at once to slide back onto the bed and he wants nothing more than to pull you back but he knows he shouldn’t. Now, you seem flustered, or maybe just disheartened. Your arms come to cross over your bare chest, as if to hide yourself.

“You don’t want to touch me anymore,” You say dryly. 

It’s not a question so much as it is a statement. Either way, he shakes his head. Rubbing a tired hand over his face, he mumbles, “Maybe you should go.”

You clamp your mouth shut. “You’re not serious, Jungkook.”

He still doesn’t dare to meet your gaze, his jaw set hard in place. 

“You’re kicking me out? Now? Now?” 

“I’m not. I’m just━ Not in the mood tonight.”

“What a liar,” You gasp. “I had your stupid boner poking my ass the entire time we were at the club, and you sure as hell spent the better part of the night fucking me.”

He can’t quite tell if you’re mad. Your tone dances a fine line between incredulousness and amusement, though he assumes it all boils down to disappointment in the end anyway. You refuse to move, though, pushing yourself onto your knees beside him.

“Tell me the truth, Jungkook,” You plead carefully. “Something’s wrong. Has been for a while, and I want to know what it is.”

He takes a deep breath and finally meets your stare and, god, you look irresistible. Your lips are bruised red from him biting and sucking at them, and your exposed chest is too tempting, beckoning him to touch you. His mind is a whirlwind of emotions ━ plus, he’s just a little bit tipsy, and so he blames it on that for caving into you so easily.

He grimaces. “I’m jealous, all right?” 

You don’t respond at first, and he decides he wants to curl up into a hole and die. Then, you snort, which isn’t exactly the sort of reaction he was expecting to hear from you, and suddenly you don’t seem so angry at him anymore. “I knew that. Was wondering when you’d tell me, though.”

“You what?”

“Well, it’s not that hard to see. You’re always giving Namjoon and Taehyung death glares when I’m around.”

“I didn’t think I was that obvious.” He says this sheepishly, and at least you giggle at him. “I just━ I’m selfish. I want you to myself.”

“I’m not a thing to have,” You retort.

“I know,” he says, and then groans the words again. “Fuck, I know. I’m sorry. I know you’re not a thing to have, and you’re not mine to have but, god, I hate it that they know everything about what it feels like to be with you.”

Gently, he grabs at your waist, tugging you onto his lap, rough hands spreading your thighs to sit perfectly on him once more. Then, with his hands planted on your hips, does he guide you back and forth on him slowly. He reaches out to brush his fingers along your bare arms, then across your collarbones, and down to your breasts. He leans down as if to kiss the valley between them, but his mouth never really does meet your skin; instead, his lips graze faintly against you.

“That they know your body.” He brushes his nose against your chest as he lifts his head. His mouth ghosts across your breasts, almost catching your nipples in his mouth, his breath warm and tingly against the sensitive flesh, just to tease you. His hand follows his lips, grasping firmly at the underside of your breast, his thumb flicking over the perked bud. “Have touched it where I’ve touched it.”

Your own hands flail out to grasp at his shoulders, your breath hitching in your throat. “Why? Why do you hate it so much? That’s all I want to know.”

“Because they don’t even know how lucky they are,” he mutters. “Because you probably do all sorts of things for them and they just think you’re another groupie. Because they aren’t in love with you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Your face is hot now, your body trembling. His hands are still on your chest when he starts kissing your throat. 

“Yeah. I am.”

“What if I told you I’m in love with you too?”

“Well, you are fucking my band mates. I think that makes things a tad bit complicated.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You’re certain if he wasn’t making you feel like heaven in that moment, you would have snapped the words. Instead, you’re already shamelessly grinding your hips against his even without his guidance. “I called it off with them a while ago, actually. They were okay with it, too. Said they felt something was different. You’re the only one in my life, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stops suddenly. He pulls his head back to gawk at you and is greeted to your hooded eyes watching him. “You━ What? What about this morning when you said Namjoon wanted to see you?”

“I lied,” You admit timidly. 

“And when you were in his room━”

“We never did anything,” You promise. “I just wanted to see a reaction from you. Honestly, so did Taehyung and Namjoon. I mean, Namjoon purposely told me to come to his room to see if you’d be jealous. And I think I went along with it because I really just want to know that when you ask me to stay with you, in your bed, do you really mean it? I just…” You trail off, biting at your lower lip, asking him apprehensively, “What about you and that Mina girl?”

“I haven’t seen her or talked to her in months,” he says earnestly.

“Of course not.” You say this in a breathless laughing manner, as if it’s just now dawning on you. Then, you reach up to cradle his head in your hands, grasping at either side of his face. When you speak next, your voice is an ardent whisper. “I want to be with you, Kook. Like really, really be with you. I didn’t know how to tell you because we were so used to just having sex and nothing more and I figured if that’s all I could get with you, then I’d learn to live with it even if it’d kill me to hear you hooking up with other girls.”

Jungkook blinks. He takes a moment to comprehend what’s happening, but then he’s feeling that tension in his chest loosen and he’s just so relieved. 

“There’s only you,” he says. “Has been for a while.”

You smile, so big and soft and pretty, and he kisses you just to bask in the moment. Suddenly, he’s just overwhelmed with love for you and almost doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Maybe I should get you jealous more often,” You muse pensively. “It’s kinda hot.”

“It’s mean,” he pouts. Then, his demeanour changes and he’s smirking wolfishly. “Besides, they can’t fuck you like I can, can they?”

“N-No,” You croak feebly. “It’s always been you, Jungkook. Even with them. I’d never tell them but… you’re all I could think about even when I was with them. Imagining you touching me instead of them. Imagining it was you when they laid with me.”

This seems to grab his attention, having him groaning into your neck. “What’d I say? Gonna be the death of me.”

You shiver at the sound of his hoarse voice. You whisper aloud, “The feeling is mutual.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid lately,” he says. “Let me make it up to you. Do you want that, baby girl? But first you gotta show me you mean it. That you’re mine.”

As he tongues a pattern against your throat, you muster a nod. You wonder if it’s obvious how badly you want him in that moment, with the way your hips continue to grind against his. 

“I want you to fuck yourself on my thigh,” he murmurs against you. “Can you do that for me?”

The thought entices you and has you scrambling to nod your head again. His large hands come to grab at your ass, shifting you until you’re seated on one of his legs. Your eyes never stray from his as you start to grind against his thigh, the rough material of his sweatpants rubbing at your core. Slow and steady, he guides you back and forth, watching as your pretty mouth pops open into a silent gasp.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he coos. “God, you look so pretty. And you’re all mine. Touch yourself for me.”

“Where?” You ask breathlessly.

“All over. Anywhere you want me.”

You whimper at the thought, imagining the feeling of his rough hands on your body. You start at your chest, grasping at your own breasts, squeezing at your perked nipples. You pinch them until they’re hard under your fingertips, kneading the soft flesh of your breasts with your palm as you try to picture Jungkook doing the same. Then, you slide one hand down the front of your stomach, past your navel. He watches as you dip lower and lower before finally reaching between your legs, fingers rubbing small circles against your clit. The mingling feelings of you rutting your hips against his thigh and the way you touch yourself under his burning stare has you writhing on his lap within seconds. 

“Oh, Jungkook━” Your eyes clamp shut, brows knitting in concentration. “Wanna feel you so bad━”

“Uh uh,” he tuts at once. Grabbing at your chin, he yanks your head back up in his direction and taps his thumb against your jaw. “Keep your eyes on me. I want to see how I make you feel.”

“But it feels so good,” You whine. Still, you listen, prying your eyes open just slightly enough to meet his stare again. Now, you’ve started to grind a little harder on him, rubbing at your heat a little faster. “Please, Jungkook━”

“Cum for me first,” he coos, his tone gentle despite his obvious demands. “Then I’ll do whatever you want. You can do that for me, right?”

You muster a nod, eyes threatening to flutter shut again but you refrain. He moves one of his arms to wrap around your waist, his large hard encompassing almost all of your back as he pushes you closer to him and the action alone is enough to make you hum with delight. 

“Tell me what you want me to do to you,” he says. “The things they could never do for you.”

He doesn’t say Taehyung’s or Namjoon’s names for you to understand and, truthfully, you’re glad he doesn’t. Your mind is much too focused on Jungkook to care about anyone else.

“I want you━” You cry out suddenly, biting at your lip. “I want you to touch me, anywhere. I want you to use me, and make me yours. I want you in me. I just need your dick, Jungkook, please. You always make me feel so good. Please, please touch me━”

His jaw sets hard in place as he continues to watch you, fingers itching to please you however which way you want, but he waits. He knows you’re close to your high when you start whimpering and moaning his name, your hand falling from your chest as your other hand rubs harder at your clit the faster you ride his thigh. He flexes his muscle beneath your core, and the simple action is enough to have your head spinning. As you reach your high, his hand that is still wrapped around your chin slides upward and his two forefingers poke into your mouth. Instantly, you’re sucking against them, tongue laving at his digits desperately as you imagine his cock in your mouth, in your cunt, stretching you wide.

“God, you’re such a good girl,” he grunts. “Keep your eyes on me.”

As you unravel in his arms, body twitching into his chest, his arm tightens its hold around your back and envelopes you in his warmth so much to the point where it feels as if you begin to melt against him. You grab at his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper into your mouth until you almost gag, muffled moans meeting his ear as you climax. When you’re spent, your pace on his thigh slows to a steady occasional gyrating of your hips as you suck and lav at his fingertips.

“That’s it, baby girl,” Jungkook hums, his free hand stroking your back as you calm your nerves. When you’ve regained most of your wit, you pop Jungkook’s fingers from your mouth and he takes the liberty of guiding his palm down your chin to your throat to your breasts. “You’re doing so well for me. Bet you never listened as well to them as you do with me. Will you get on your hands and knees for me?”  

You scramble to obey, crawling off his lap and onto all fours on the bed. You crane your neck to watch as he gets to his knees behind you, shoving the material of his sweatpants down to his knees in haste. He’s already impossibly hard, grasped in his knuckles, precum leaking from the head of his dick. He wastes no time in pushing himself into you, and though he’s stretched you wide hours ago, the same feeling of him slipping in snug to your heat does wonders on your body still. 

“Mm, Jungkook!” You cry out as he buries himself balls deep into you, coaxed so easily by your slick arousal. He sputters at the sensation, palms pawing at your navel as he yanks you further down his cock. “F-Fuck━ You feel so good━”

“Show me,” he gasps, pulling his hips out once and rutting into you so vigorously you feel it shudder throughout your whole body. Then, he’s thrusting into you at a rhythmic fast pace that has you clenching so tight around him, his head spins some more. “Let me hear you. I wanna see how I make you feel. Let me see how you belong to me.”

He tugs at your elbows, yanking you up off the bed, and you clumsily follow suit, pressing your back flushed against his chest. 

“I’m all yours, Jungkook,” You whine. “I want you to wreck me so bad. Only you know how to wreck me so bad.”

“Yeah?” he taunts. “Only me? Gonna prove it?”

“Please, Jungkook━ Harder, please━ I’ll do anything you want!”

He quickens his pace and slams his hips up into yours harshly. It has you moaning with delight, nearly slipping from his grasp, but he holds you tighter in place. He reaches round to grab at your chin again, twisting your head in a careful yet prompt manner so that you’re looking over your shoulder at him with your flustered gawking expression.

“Open up.” He taps at your mouth and you do as you’re told. Almost instantly, he pulls your chin closer until your mouth is hovering over his, and spits. It’s a wordless command and gesture, as if to further prompt you to prove your point. You welcome it entirely, swallowing his own saliva completely. What doesn’t make it into your mouth, dribbles down your chin and onto your throat. Then you’re chasing his mouth, hearing him hum approvingly, “That’s it, baby.”

You almost miss his lips the first time from the way he’s being so feral now as his hips continue to slam against yours. You’re fortunate when he guides your chin, still pinched between his fingers, in a much too tender manner for the crude moment that has your heart swooning despite all the hysteria. A hot open-mouthed kiss which is still entirely sloppy as your tongues ravish mid-air, and his teeth nip and suck on your lower lip any chance he can get. 

“Gonna tell them how well I fuck you?” he asks breathlessly. You bite at his lip this time, tugging at it hard. “Let them know you’re all mine? Fuck━”

“Mhm!” You rasp. “Oh, Jungkook━”

By now, his pace is relentless. You threaten to ricochet from his grip with each rut of his hips, knees wobbling beneath you. He hand falls from your chin finally to grab at your breasts, replacing your earlier efforts, pinching at your nipples, squeeze at your soft flesh. He lavs wet kisses along your jawline, your neck, and shoulder. Your own head leans back onto his shoulder, a hand reaching out to grasp at his hair. Your fingers first scratch at the shaved sides, then thread through his hair, yanking at it tightly enough to have him grunting in delight.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna━” You whimper. “I’m gonna━”

But you don’t finish your thought. It doesn’t matter anyway. Jungkook already knows you’re close to your high with the way you start to clench around him. You pull even tighter at his hair, a pleasant burn evoking a hiss from his throat. His hips move even faster than before, desperate to try and carry you to your high. So riddled from your first orgasm not long ago and the one before that, you’re quick to crumble beneath him once more. Twisting and turning, you cry out his name in a repeated mantra, like music to his ears. When the scorching heat between your thighs and blinding your eyes subsides enough for you to be somewhat coherent again, you meekly find your voice.

“Tell me I’m yours,” You beg despairingly, voice barely a ragged panting whisper. The aftershock of your orgasm still shakes through your body that the way you’re clutching at his hair now is only so that you can still have some sort of hold on reality still. “Please, please. Tell me. I wanna be yours so bad. You already have me, just wanna hear it from you. Tell me you want me as much as I want you. Please, Jungkook━”

A nerve flutters in Jungkook’s heart. And his dick. He marvels momentarily at the idea of how he wants to continue to wreck you and simultaneously love you all over and grows impatient. Without warning, and with much difficulty, he pulls out of you. Before you can register what’s happening or miss the warmth of his cock in your heat, he pushes you onto the bed and flips you around so that you’re on your back. Then, hovering over you close enough so that he can hook one of your legs over his shoulder, he pushes himself back into you. 

“You’re all I want,” he says, smoothing his mouth over yours once more. He moans against your lips, then rests his forehead against yours as he squeezes his eyes shut. “God, I’m so fucking in love with you. You make it so hard to think sometimes. Everything about you drives me wild.”

His pace isn’t as harsh as before, though he’s careless as he abandons all form in an attempt to ride out your high and reach his own. Each thrust he makes jolts you back and forth on the bed, the sensitivity between your thighs a mild burn that starts to crescendo as you gasp each time his cock slides back into you. You reach out tiredly to grab at his face with soft motions despite not bothering to move him from where he still rests with his forehead. One large palm of his comes to grasp at your side, pushing you further into the mattress as he hammers into you. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum━” He moans. “Gonna let me fill you up, baby? Gonna let me make your cunt mine?”

“Yes, please,” You rasp. “Wanna feel it so bad.”

It’s different this time despite knowing the sensation well enough from all those times before. Every event since then has been a build up to this, and when he finally releases into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. The last few sluggish ruts of his hips make the both of you whimper and whine, mewling with delight the longer he cums in your heat. 

Then, he slumps against your chest and the room falls silent once more safe for the sound of your mingled panting. He burrows his face into the crook of your neck and your fingers rake through his sweaty hair in a soothing manner until that too ceases after a few silent moments.��

“Not falling asleep on me now, are you?” he asks after the thrill of both your highs have subsided. He lifts his head to look at you and finds that you are, in fact, beginning to doze off. 

“No,” You lie. You pry one eye open to look at him as you bite back a sheepish snicker. He pulls out of you at long last, and the lack of warmth has you immediately protesting. You reach out  blindly for him before he can move too far. “Come back here. I want to cuddle you.” Then, letting your surroundings register once more, you realize suddenly that music has still been playing all this time. Most specifically, Jungkook’s solo which has been left on a loop. You meet his curious gaze in the dark and deadpan, “Did you seriously just fuck me to your song?”

“It’s not fucking when we were making love,” he wriggles his brows suggestively. You wonder how he’s always so quick to go from one extreme to the other. Whereas five minutes ago, you wanted nothing more than to have him demolish you with his dick, now he’s just his usual lovable idiotic self that you want to kiss all over. He’s not wrong though, you discern. The song isn’t a bad one either, and the thought of him having sex with you to his own music is undescriably hot anyway. 

“You can’t say you were making love to me when you just took me raw.” Amongst other things, you think to yourself, but you’re certain he’s well aware of that. His snickers warm your heart to no end and you can’t help yourself when you lean forward to kiss him. 

“I can and I will because I love you,” he says proudly. Then, as if tasting the words on his tongue and favouring the sound of it, hums more pensively again, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jungkook.”

And this time he knows you mean it because, in the morning, when you both wake up feeling sore and marked all over by one another (so that Namjoon and Taehyung can know), you’re still curled up into Jungkook’s chest. You’re half asleep, your nose nuzzling against the crook of his neck and making him smile. You’re only roused awake by the feather-light strokes his fingers make as they rub small circles into your back.

“Stay with me?” Jungkook asks this hopefully, of course, but he already knows the answer. This time, he even knows it’ll be different. 

He sees your sleepy smile widen when he kisses your temple sweetly, and decides quickly that he likes this, right there and now, as it is, and especially when he hears you whisper finally, “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

[eijishimas]

this is wrong.

masterlist.

content warnings: 18+ nsfw content, minors dni. all characters are aged up. just some reki masturbating to y/n’s instagram photos, oops. brief mentions of pillow humping at the end. f!reader.

notes: found in my drafts while i was cleaning out my notes, so here we are. also this was meant to be a drabble and turns out i can’t write anything but long fics about reki kyan tf.

wc: 1.0k

Reki’s hand was wrapped tightly around his dick, his headband lopsided as he felt incredibly hot in all his layers of his skate attire. He was breathing heavily, moaning into his pillow as he fisted his cock. It was late at night, he should really not be doing this. It was wrong. It was so awfully wrong to be masturbating to pictures of you, his closest friend aside from Langa. But he couldn’t help it. Your smile, your eyes, the way you smelled of fruit passion from your shampoo. He whimpered, eyes staying half lidded in an attempt to keep jerking it to your photo on screen. They weren’t even lewd photos either, just ones from your instagram that were completely innocent.

There were some photos on your feed of you out with friends having a couple of drinks, where your smile looked so radiant and genuine. Then there was another that was a selfie taken at golden hour, your skin clear as you had your tongue poked out goofily. God, you were so gorgeous. Reki could feel his heartbeat both in his chest and in his throbbing dick. His cock was practically drooling at the sight of you, at how much he wanted you, your body, so fucking badly. He was unbearably needy this late at night, but he couldn’t stop looking at his illuminated phone screen.

One of his favourites was most definitely the one of you in one of his t-shirts after a party. He remembered you slurring your words, begging him to give his shirt up because you were burning up in your top and besides, he had a lot of layers, he would still have a hoodie to wear. You had asked him for his shirt. Not Langa, but him. His ego skyrocketed that night, and you asked him to take a photo to commemorate the occasion. His teeth chewed on his bottom lip as he swiped through your instagram, finding that exact photo of you with his pink work shirt on, your face close to the camera with a wide, slightly intoxicated smile on your face. If he focused hard enough, he would be able to hear your flirty whispers and your silly giggles right to the shell of his ear. Reki shivered, feeling the knots in his stomach all the more prominently.

He gripped his cock tighter, trying to imagine how your hand would feel around him instead. Your fingers dancing along his sensitive skin, teasing his head with your thumb. Maybe if he was being good for you, you would slide your hot pussy down on his cock and he would be able to make you feel so good too. He wanted to make you feel just as good as you made him feel all the time. The mere idea of your fluttering cunt around him made another stray moan leave his mouth, his hand now moving erratically in an effort to make himself cum. He wanted you so bad. His body erupted in tremors, shaking from how horny he was. His eyes fluttered, threatening to close on him and to allow himself to get lost in the scenarios his perverted mind came up with. His mind felt so clouded, so foggy with the thoughts of you. He wanted you to open your mouth so he could give you all he had to offer, make white ropes all over your face and your chest. He wanted you.

Reki shouldn’t be thinking of his best friend like this, holy fuck this was so wrong but you were so nice to him. He wanted you to be nice to him, just in another way. As he kept pumping himself, he whined again into his pillow to muffle the sound. He wondered if you would like how loud he was, how much he moaned for how fucking incredible you made him feel.

He could feel his balls tightening, but he needed more. Opting to switch his position, Reki placed his phone on his bed and sat up on his knees. Taking the hem of his shirt between his teeth, he tugged his headband off to rake a shaky hand through his untamed red hair. Fuck.

Fuck.

His jawline jutted out perfectly, his eyes looking down at the picture of you on his phone so ravenously. “Y/n,” his voice came out muffled due to him holding up his shirt, his stomach exposed to the moonlight streaming in through his window, “Please Y/n.” He moaned as he fucked into his hand, not wanting to close his eyes in fear that he would lose sight of you in all your — technically his — pink shirt and innocent smile glory. Feeling a tight snap in his lower body, Reki let out a final, wanton moan. His form crumpled over as he aimed right for his phone. He came all over your face as best he could, his eyes hazed with lust as he mumbled about how good you were to him, how nice you were for letting him even cum, and how you could take his dick so well. His face was burning up, a clear sheen of sweat forming on his forehead and making his body glisten in the low lighting of the night.

He basked in the afterglow of his orgasm, chest heaving as he caught his breath. An overwhelming feeling of shame flooded through him. He needed to stop doing this. He really needed to stop this dirty habit of his. It was so fucking wrong and very much perverted. Though deep down, he knew he wouldn’t. Reki knew damn well he would be coming back to those photos again the next day, after he would see you at the skatepark again.

If only he were aware of how you grind on your pillow each night to the thought of him, specifically that one moment where he had hugged you from behind and you felt the outline of his semi hard on against your ass. Your hands gripping the sheets as you wear that pink shirt of his that never quite lost that scent of him, crying out how much you wanted him instead.

all works © eijishimas 2021. do not reuse, modify, or repost.

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@stoopidnekobish

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[pearl-blue-musings]

Could I order a medium well steak with mashed potatoes and peas please? I’ll be splitting it with Bakugo and/or Kirishima ☺️

Oh honey yes yes you can!! And thanks for giving me my first poly fic ☺️☺️ 💪💥

Pairing: KiriBaku x fem!reader poly is this happening or.???

Warnings: smut, 18+, oral fem and male receiving, hair pulling, one or two daddy calling, threesome, fingering, spanking, it’s my first time writing poly mkay

Enjoy your meal~

Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki, and you. Friends since high school and now inseparable in your fourth year of college. The dynamic between the three of you was always energetic, supportive and fun. Most of your friends always found you three together and it would always be weird if one of you was without the other two. Yes, this was perfect, it was working, it was fine.

It didn’t matter that feelings between the three of you began to shift from platonic to romantic.

When did that start really? Well it could be boiled down to a couple of instances. The first one being your first major heartbreak in college. You were a freshman, young, a little naïve, so you dove head first into the arms of an upperclassmen who claimed to see you for you. Until you saw him in the arms, rather sheets, of someone else. The pain you felt was excruciating as you ran and told your two best friends. Each of them lending an ear and some advice to your heart slowly closing off to them and the world.

“That extra didn’t deserve you anyways. You can do way better.”

“I already got your favorite ice cream. Now come on, I know you wanna cry in my shoulder. We’re here for you.”

You hadn’t expected them to be so kind and caring about that. The three of you ended up cuddling together and watching your favorite movies. It was confusing. This is normal for friends right? Totally platonic for friends to snuggle and provide affectionate care after a bad break up. Totally and completely.

But your heart can’t stop racing and you can’t stop the warmth you feel from their closeness.

The next time was when Bakugou’s college hockey team made it to the national title your second year. You and Kirishima had been at every game, even the ones out of state. You cheered him on and yelled at all the right times when plays and calls seemed unfair.

“You call that an infraction? Bakugou barely touched that guy, come on!”

“Hell yeah bro! That’s how you score on those unmanly boys over there!”

He never admitted it, but seeing the two of you in the stands at all of his games made him want to play harder and better, push himself to be the best despite any potential injuries he could have gotten. Being able to hear your intense screams over the crowd and Kiri’s booms of what’s manly on the ice and what isn’t made his heart race in a way he couldn’t figure out. There’s no way it’s the l word. No, they’re his best friends.

That’s all it is, he loves his best friends in the most non-romantic way possible.

The third and last instance was a little more personal between the three of you; starting with you and Kirishima. It was a party, celebrating Kirishima’s new job at the university gym, where you began to realize your feelings. The apartment was filled with close friends and some acquaintances where alcohol and some drugs flowed freely. The two men had lived together with a couple other guys they knew so for the most part they were on host duties. When you had finally arrived with a couple of your girlfriends, you greeted the blond and red head and continued to dance and mingle with your friends.

About an hour after you had entered, you walked over to Kirishima’s room to use his bathroom (you didn’t want to touch Denki’s bathroom) in his room. When you walked into his room, you were surprised to see him standing in front of his closet, half naked and changing shirts.

“Ah geez Eiji! Sorry to interrupt, I’ll wait outside.”

He chuckles and finishes putting on his shirt. “It’s all good pebble. I just had a little spill and needed to change.” He looks you up and down in an unfamiliar way. “Did you need to use my bathroom?”

You feel your cheeks heat up at how close he had gotten. It had to be the alcohol, right? That’s the only explanation. “Yeah,” you huff out, “but I don’t know if I need to go anymore ha ha.”

He grins at you and asks, “do you wanna sit for a bit? I feel like we haven’t had much time just the two of us.”

And who were you to say no to one of your best friends? So you sit beside him on his bed, something you’ve done plenty of times before. But somehow this felt, different. You feel him lay his head on your lap, a move he’s done before to indicate how tired he is and you naturally rake your fingers through his soft hair. You wish he would wear it down more often, you think he looks better that way.

“You really think so?”

You look down at him and freeze. Seems that you were talking out loud instead of in your mind. You giggle awkwardly, but keep your fingers attached to his scalp. “Yeah,” you hum. “It looks really nice.”

He hums into you, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his hair. A soft smile adorns his face as he muses to himself, “wouldn’t it be funny if Bakugou gelled his hair down?”

You don’t do much to hold in the laughter that erupts from your stomach, making the man in your lap laugh with you. The small intimate moment between you becomes more intimate when Kirishima sits up to look you in the eyes, his pupils dilated. You feel his hand come up to your cheek as his thumb rubs circles near the crease of your eye. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispers holding your gaze. The hand that was previously in his hair rests on his broad shoulder. Had he always been this rough yet soft to the touch? You don’t realize you’re sharing breaths until his next words are felt on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod fervently and close the short distance between your lips. The rush that you feel when his warm lips are on yours is an experience you want to relive over and over. Just like him, his kiss is soft and full of care as he gently kisses you. Kirishima’s hands run down your body and find comfort on your hips while your wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. You can feel how hard he is from your bodies grinding on each other.

You break for air with a string of saliva connecting your lips. This is it. You might’ve known it for a long time but it’s glaring at you right in your face. You love him, and from what you can muster, he loves you too. The way his fingers are still touching you even though the act of passion has ended. Your foreheads are touching as you both exchange breaths.

“I,” he starts, “I think I’m in love with you. Well, have been for awhile.”

You smile when he smiles and slowly peck his lips. “I love you too, Eijirou.” You pause to cup his cheek and feel happiness grow inside when he leans into it. “But what about-“

“Bakugou?”

“Yeah.”

Your hand falls into your lap and Kirishima reaches for it. He holds it gently and strokes his thumb at the back of it. The silence in the room isn’t complete because of the muffled music and shouting outside the closed door. You part your lips and struggle for the next couple of seconds to say the right thing. “I don’t want our dynamic to change.”

“Neither do I. But I can’t deny these feelings I’ve had for you anymore! Ever since that jerk cheated on you at the beginning of college, I think that’s when my feelings started. I hated seeing you cry and I vowed that if you ever did cry that I would be the one to wipe away your tears and take care of you. Not that you can’t take care yourself, you know what I mean!” Your light chuckle helps him to keep talking. “But I think about how it’s always the three of us and… I don’t wanna leave Katsuki out of this, us! It wouldn’t feel right.

“And I think when we saw him score that winning goal last year, with the way you looked at him I thought you could never look at me that way.”

Your back sits up straighter at his words. Was that true? Did you also have feelings for Bakugou as well? He had turned his face away from you at his admittance, but you pulled him back for a kiss. This one seemed to be more heated and passionate than the last as your hands search and prod his warm body all over.

You were so tightly wound up in each other you neglected to hear his door opening.

“Hey dumbass, (Y/n) went in here to go to the bathroom forever ago- what the fuck?!”

Kirishima pulled away from you quickly at hearing his other best friends voice. The two of you do your best to fix your state of clothes but the damage had already been done. You’ve seen Bakugou upset before but never like this. Never like this at the two of you. He looked broken and betrayed.

You face him and get up off the bed, “Katsuki, wait lemme explain!”

Vermillion eyes glare down at you in such passionate anger that you were almost terrified to say anything. “I think everything makes perfect sense to me. You two have been dating behind my back haven’t you.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Kirishima responds first, “wait it’s not what you think, ‘Suki. We actually need to talk to you about something.”

“Tch,” he roughly pulls himself away from the two of you, “don’t fucking call me that. How long has this been going on, hah?! You really think I wouldn’t notice? You guys have been making go-go eyes at each other for years.”

“Would you please hear us out? And close the door,” you murmur, “everyone’s looking in here.”

Bakugou looks to the two of you and then behind him as his friends look on. Most people had dispersed or left so only your close friend group had stayed. Being the good and observant friends they are, Denki was the first to speak up.

“I think we’ll go somewhere else. You three need to talk.” And in his slightly drunk and slightly high daze, he and Sero managed to get everyone out of the doorway and out of the apartment. So now it’s just the three of you and open truth of the situation.

Bakugou roughly shuts the door and stands above the two of you. “So,” he huffs, “how long have you been dating?”

You can’t help but hear the hint of hurt in the last word he said. You want to reach out but know that it won’t help presently. “Ka- uh Bakugou, we’re not dating. We just, kissed and confessed our feelings.”

The ashy blond pouts and crosses his arms. “Don’t lie to me, dumbass. Shitty hair, is that really what happened?”

“Yeah dude, we really were just talking and then we kinda kissed and talked about our feelings.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Everything!” You had let your emotions get the best of you as you yelled at him. “It’s always been the three of us and we don’t wanna ruin this dynamic we have.”

Katsuki snaps back, “I get it. I would be in the way. Just, fuck, go be happy.”

Kirishima stands up and prevents Bakugou from leaving. “No dude, you don’t get it. (Y/n) and I came to an unspoken understanding:

“We can’t do this without you.”

With his anger subsiding, Bakugou was vulnerable. And in his state of vulnerability, Kirishima took the opportunity to cover his lips with his own. The ashy blond is caught off guard, but eventually concedes into the kiss. Something inside you stirs at seeing your two best friends kiss. It’s not jealousy, it’s contentment; like everything is finally fitting and working out.

When the two males part, their breaths are heavy as they stare into each others eyes. Kirishima speaks up first. “This is what we wanted to talk to you about.” He then tangles his fingers with the stunned in silence blond. “We think, no, we know that we have feelings for each other. But also-“

“We have feelings for you too Katsuki,” you chime in from the bed. “We couldn’t do this, thing, without you. I can’t imagine life without you two.”

Bakugou looks over to where you are on the bed, and his eyes soften. He can see the love in your eyes, a gaze that he’s seen you give Kirishima and maybe you’ve given those looks to him and he didn’t notice? Almost like he thought you wouldn’t have feelings for him, or that his red headed friend would feel similarly.

“Tch, idiots. How long have you,” he looks away as his cheeks start to tint pink, “had feelings for me?”

You stand up and walk up to the shy man, taking his other hand. “I’m not sure. I might’ve realized it when Eiji and I were cheering for you at one of your games… T-the way you looked when you noticed us made my heart leap. You were so happy and satisfied with that look on your face Katsuki. But I was confused cause by then I had already confirmed my feelings for Eiji so I- mmph!”

Katsuki ended your rambling and pulled you into his body. You had always dreamt and fantasized about what his tout and fit body would feel against yours, and it’s better than you could have imagined. Where Kirishima was soft, Bakugou was rough as he licks at your bottom lip and thrusts his tongue in your mouth. You accept him hungrily as your arms wrap around his shoulders. Your lips mesh so easily and effortlessly together that you can’t help but moan.

When the two of you pull apart, Katuski is back to his smug self. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that princess. Damn, so what now?”

The question doesn’t linger too long in the air as the three of you exchange glances at each other. “Well, we just keep doing what we’re doing. You know, now with kissing and hand holding and sex stuff I guess, hehe.” Kirishima laughs out as realization comes to all of your faces. To be fair, you all have already kissed and you doubt Kiri’s earlier hard on has gone down.

Being brave, you step up to Kirishima, grabbing his collar and pulling him into a lust filled kiss. You grind yourself on his torso, forcing him to put his hands on your waist. His grip on you tightens and doesn’t hesitate to lift you up, making your legs wrap around his waist. Behind you, you feel hands trail down your back sensually, stopping at your ass. You pause your kiss with Kirishima to whine at the touch, feeling Bakugou’s hands go down your thighs and over Kiri’s hands.

“Put her on the bed, Eijirou.”

The way he commands the two of you, the way how he growled that out right by your ear made your panties damp. Kirishima nods and walks you two toward his bed, gently placing you down. He works on getting your leggings off, slowly pulling each leg out to keep touching your soft skin. Once they’re off, you’re left in your top and lacy thong, unaware of how the night would turn out. The wet spot at your core doesn’t go unnoticed by the two males and Kirishima licks his lips and Bakugou starts palming at his jeans, hissing as he does so. “Is that for us, pebble?” He takes a single finger and slowly swipes it up your covered slit making your toes curl and a huff of air leaves your lips. “Fuck, baby you’re so wet. Katsu, you gotta see this up close.” He takes off your thong, brings it up to his nose for a long sniff, and stuffs them in his pocket.

You feel a new pair of hands graze your inner thighs, as a head of ashy blond is now seen between your legs. He breathes into your cunt and grins at your mewl, the sound going to his hardening cock. Without warning, his tongue dives into your folds, going in between kitten licks and deep thrusts of his tongue into you. Your jaw drops in pleasure and you can’t help but moan loudly. Bakugou pulls away, and grunts “Think you can shut her up shitty hair?”

You hear the red head chuckle to the side of you as he had already removed his pants and now his boxers. His cock springs free, swinging upward on his abs and already leaking pre-cum. The way you’re looking at him like a full course meal makes his dick twitch. “I can’t wait to shove my dick in your mouth.” You see a little bit of drool fall from the corner of his mouth and just seeing that turns you on so much. He moves to straddle you over your chest, careful not to sink down or hurt you in anyway. His ruby irises meet yours as he caresses your cheek, “is this okay?”

You nod, words failing you because Bakugou hasn’t let up on your pussy. Kirishima inches closer and sit up slightly so that your lips can finally met his warm and hard dick. You wrap your lips around the tip, your tongue flitting at his leaking tip causing the strong man above you to moan loudly. That moan caused a ripple effect from you sucking him harder and Bakugou’s tongue swirling on your clit, which made you moan onto Kiri’s cock. All three of you are beginning to feel extreme pleasure at once, almost as if everything in your lives was building up to this point.

You sink your mouth deeper onto throbbing cock, causing Kirishima to pant and curse. His hips struggle to stay still but your tongue, throat, and mouth are working wonders on him. You never thought he would be somewhat loud in the bedroom, but it’s making you love him more. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you feel a slap on your inner thigh and but hear an extra one. The extra one you heard was Bakugou lifting his body just enough for him to reach Kirishima’s are ass and smack it. Just knowing he got spanked made you wetter.

“Heh, do you like it when I smack his ass baby girl? You’re gushing down here after I did that. Lemme do it again, yeah?” And you hear the sound of palm against skin and you taste more of him in your mouth after. Bakugou continues his assault on your pussy as your hips gyrate into his face, moans and cries muffled by Kirishima’s long and girthy cock in your mouth. Kiri moves his hand from your cheek to your hair and tugs as he chases his high.

He feels you whine something on his dick and smirk. “You gonna cum pebble? You’re gonna cum all over ‘Suki’s face while I cum down your throat? C’mon baby girl, milk my cock I wanna mess up your throat, ah fuck this feels good!”

Bakugou inserts two fingers into your aching pussy as he sucks on your clit. Your hips are moving out of rhythm as you feel the build up deep in your core want to explode. You suck hard on Kirishima’s cock as he moans above you loudly, filling your mouth and throat with his seed. As he comes down from his hard orgasm, you let out a pop as you let go of his cock. He removes himself from your chest and takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb over your swollen lips. “I don’t want you to spill a drop until he makes you cum. If any of it spills or you swallow it without permission, he won’t let you cum and I’m gonna punish you okay pebble?”

You nodded and he lets you go, realizing he hasn’t taken off your top. Kirishima brings you up to take off your top, giving you a look to remember his words just seconds earlier. He removes it and realizes you aren’t wearing anything underneath. He lifts an eyebrow at you and chuckles darkly. “You’re so naughty,” he growls as he takes a hardening nipple into his mouth. He sucks earnestly as Bakugou finger and tongue fucks you. You feel your orgasm getting closer and closer as Bakugou growls into your pussy.

“You ready to cum baby girl? You heard Ejij, don’t spill a fucking drop until I say.”

You nod vigorously, avoiding being vocal to keep your mouth full.

“Then cum baby,” he sucks on your clit harder, “cum for daddy.”

Your own orgasm rocked through you so hard you were seeing stars. You obeyed their commands and only swallowed after you were sure you were done cumming, holding onto Kirishima’s back tightly as your nails dug into it. Bakugou removes himself from between your legs, licking his chin and observing your juices on his fingers. He taps Kirishima on the shoulder and shoves his fingers into his mouth, catching the red head off guard. He moans around the wet fingers as his tongue dives in the valleys of Bakugous fingers. The scene before you was incredibly erotic as the to men didn’t break eye contact.

“She tastes good doesn’t she?”

“Mmm,” he releases with a pop, “fuck yeah she does, babe.” Your chest heaves up and down as you come down from your high, truly enjoying the moment between the trio of you. Kirishima lightly plays with your breasts still as Bakugou moves to the other side of the bed. “Get her on all fours. I can’t wait to fuck that mouth of hers.”

The two of you do as he says, and you get on all fours on the bed. You see Katsuki undress and you do your best to keep your dirty thoughts to yourself as you realize you are in the presence of two god-like looking men. You feel Kirishima smack you ass and you yelp out the sudden sensation. You hear him snicker behind you as you feel his hands knead your ass. The man behind you leans over you, hands trailing up your back and sides as he asks. “All of this is okay, right?”

Bakugou grunts, “speak.” He grabs your cheeks and forces you to look at him, “now.”

You nod at first, but remember that your mouth is empty. “Yes,” you pant, “please have your way with me, daddies.”

Wet lips attach to yours as you make out with Bakugou once more, accepting your consent. Kirishima palms at your cunt, making you clench around nothing, as his other hand reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom. The red head had no idea that he would need these anytime soon, especially with the two of you. Once the condom is on, he lines himself behind you, teasing your hole with his tip. At the same time, Bakugou lines up his aching cock with your lips, outlining them with this dick.

When Kirishima finally pushes in your eyes go wide. You knew he was big, but fuck would he fit? He moves slowly for you to adjust to his size and length. You pant wildly as he grips your hips tighter at how slick you are. Soon enough, he’s bottomed out in you and waits. He can tell you aren’t used to his size yet and traces your spine to comfort you. “You’re taking me so well, pebble. Tell me when it’s okay for me to move, okay?”

You let out more shaky breaths and then crane your neck to give him the most blissed out face he’s ever seen. Tears are building in the corner of your eyes, pupils blown out and your tongue lolling to the side as you tell him to move. And when he does, you never thought that fucking, no making love could feel so ecstatic, so euphoric. The feeling is overwhelming but you love it, it’s a good overwhelming.

You barely have time to moan because Bakugou shoves his needy cock into your mouth. He’s not as big as Kirishima so blowing him is going to be a fun adventure. You wrap one hand around the base and hollow out your cheeks as you suck him in. He hisses above you as one hand finds purchase in your hair. His hips stutter a bit when you lick a stripe up his cock from base to tip. A few pants escape him when you do that but what has him moaning more is when you lick and play with his balls. His grip gets tighter as you keep playing and messing with his cock and balls.

Meanwhile Kirishima is slamming into you, his balls hitting you with every thrust. You never knew you needed this but now that you have it you don’t want to go with out it. There’s one particular thrust he gives that makes your eyes roll back and stop working on Bakugou briefly. He tugs at your hair and you get back to licking and servicing him. Above you, you feel a hand on the middle of your back and a hand leave your hair.  You catch Kirishima whisper a “c’mere” and the sounds of lips and tongues melding together is heard. The scene is absolutely erotic and you are living for it. Having your two best friends, no lovers, make out above you almost makes you cum again as your pussy clenches.

Eijirou pulls away when your pussy clenches around his dick in order for him to whimper at the sensation. He starts pumping into you harder, wanting you two to cum for the second time. You have a feeling Bakugou is close because his thrusts have become erratic and he’s pulling on you harder. The pull of your hair and the way Kiri’s dick feels inside you is enough for you to cum.

You whine on Katsuki’s dick, seeing the tears in your eyes as his hips keep moving back and forth. “You ready to take my seed, huh pretty girl? I know you are, just look at you. Fuck,” he moans out, “you’re something else princess. Shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum. Unf, (Y/n), EIjirou, fuck!”

His cum fills up your throat, some of it spilling out the side of your mouth. You swallow what you can and release him with a pop. Your breathing is ragged as you admire the taste of both men mixed on your tongue. The hands that were previously on your hips go to your stomach and pull you into a strong chiseled chest. Kirishima rests his forehead on your shoulder blade as he fucks you harder. “C’mon pebble I’m so close, I’m so close. God you feel amazing,” he mewls into your ear. One hand goes to your swollen nub and rubs at it intensely. Your voice raises an octave as you practically scream in pleasure, the waves of your second orgasm hitting you without warning.

Kirishima pumps up into you faster after he felt you tighten around him. “Oh fuck, oh fuck I’m gonna cum (Y/n). Katsuki I’m cumming, I’m cumming! Ah fuck!” He holds you tightly as he pumps through his orgasm, speeding up and then slowing down as the both of you calm down from your highs. You stay impaled on his cock, enjoying the sheen of sweat between the three of you. Bakugou comes up to you and kisses you sweetly, carefully lifting you off of Kirishima’s dick. He takes a finger to trace along the outside of your face and then over your lips. He lays the two of you down on the bed, just embracing the moment. Kirishima gets up and shaky legs to take care of the used up condom. He throws it in the trash and then heads into his bathroom. When he comes back out, he hands Bakugou a towel and the two of them begin to tend to you and clean you up. “You did so well for us babe,” Bakugou whispers, kissing your cheek and wiping your right leg. Kirishima has your left and himself to clean up.

Once you’re all cleaned up, Kirishima takes the towels to the laundry room and returns with bottles of water for each of you. He slides under the covers, the top comforter replaced with a Crimson Riot one, and cuddles up to you and Bakugou. “So,” he starts, “does that mean we’re together? Like officially?”

Bakugou who’s facing the two you, with you in the middle, rolls his eyes and extends an arm out to the adorable red head. “Dumbass, I wouldn’t have done this if we weren’t. Now shut up,” his voice lowers, “she’s asleep.”

The diner is open

[ptergwen]

written in the stars

w/c: 2.7k

warnings: jus (lots of) making out

summary: using your newly acquired knowledge of astrology, you test your compatibility with tom

a/n: i was planning on making this a little blurb for y’all but then i got really into it and here we are lmfhfksjks i promise you don’t have to know anything about astrology or birth charts to enjoy cuz i broke it all down + it’s not the main focus of the fic anyways! this is mostly a day in the life with tommy boy and i hope you like it as much as i do :,) also some of this might be wrong.. i’m not an expert so yeah

•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“right, so how does this work again?” tom watches your laptop screen with curious eyes.

you’ve been getting into astrology lately, and whatever you care about, so does he. that’s why you’re currently laid across your bed in sweats while you teach him everything you know. but first, you’ll need to do his birth chart. it’s the pinnacle of everything.

“you just have to tell me what time you were born, then it does the rest for me,” you grin, typing in the name of the website. you’d had to do some research to find a reliable one. “that’s it? you don’t need, like, my birthday or something?” tom quirks an eyebrow at the chart generator.

“i already know your birthday, babes.” you laugh softly and let your head fall onto his shoulder. “you crazy gemini.” “‘m not crazy.” he smiles despite himself, leaning his head on yours. “just got a big personality, innit? charming, clever, lots of energy,” he lists off the characteristics of his sign, which you just taught him. that lights up your whole face.

“definitely not cocky,” you deadpan, tom scrunching his nose in response. “look at you, remembering all that. you really are clever.” “well, it’s interesting.” he drapes an arm around you, fingers running up and down your side. “i quite like the idea of the universe knowing me so well.”

tapping your fingers on the keys, you hum. “you’ll love your birth chart, then. tell me when you were born.” tom grimaces and squeezes at your waist. “i don’t actually know.” “how do you not know?” you flick his back playfully, making him flinch. he pokes you so you’re even. “i’ve never thought to ask. guess i’m not that clever after all.”

those are teasing words, but you press a reassuring kiss to his cheek. he gladly accepts it and gives you one on the side of your neck.

“no, your head’s gigantic. there’s gotta be something up there.” you knock on his skull for emphasis, your hand tangling in his hair. tom lets out a breathy chuckle. “hot air,” he explains as your fingers run through the messy locks. “you’re so...” you don’t even have the words. tom does. “hilarious? witty? amusing?” he tries to finish, tilting his head back to look at you.

“yeah, all of the above,” you confer and bring your hand back down to the keyboard. your lips curve into a smirk when tom whines. he’s the biggest baby, and he makes no attempt to hide it. “why don’t you text your mom and ask for your time of birth?” you suggest, tom pursing his lips in agreement. “sure, i’ll give mum a ring. i bet she loves this stuff, too.”

you roll over to lay on your back, tom still on his stomach. he pulls his phone from his pocket and opens imessage. “ah, nikki’s an astrogirl?” you wonder. tom makes a funny face at the term. “is that what you call yourselves?” “not really. well, not officially.” giggling, you loop your fingers around his wrist. “you can be an astroboy, if you want. or girl.”

tom sighs and leans over so his face hovers above yours. “god, you’re adorable. how are you so cute?” he gently pecks your lips. you’re about to kiss back, then he moves off to your cheek. after that is your forehead, chin, and finally down the bridge of your nose. it leaves you out of breath from laughter and with warm skin.

“i can’t answer that if you’re gonna launch a kiss attack on me-“

tom’s lips capture yours in a proper kiss, which you now get the chance to reciprocate. you hold him in place with your hands on his cheeks. his eyes instantly flutter closed and lashes tickle your face. the feeling draws another giggle out of you, and right into his mouth.

“absolutely gorgeous,” tom mutters against your lips. “anyone ever tell you that?” “you do, tommy. all the time.” your voice comes out gravelly, breathless, a grin painting your face. it transfers to tom. “mm, that’s right. my pretty baby.” he’s beaming down at you. he moves on top of you swiftly, his weight held up by his elbows on your sides.

you pull apart so you can go back in harder, hands situating in his curls again. tom grabs at your hips while the kiss deepens. your legs wrap around his waist clad in joggers and allow your bodies to be even closer together. the less space between you two, the needier you both get. “love,” tom parts his lips for you. “can i get a little more?” “course you can, tommy.” your fingers tug at his curls, mouth opening slightly.

his tongue skims its way across your lower lip, asking for access. you give his hair another pull to grant it. tom lets his tongue slip into your mouth, searching for your own as his hands continue to roam your body. he’s gone from gently peppering you in kisses to fully eating your face. no complaints, though. a quiet whimper escapes you when your tongues clash.

tom starts to push up your t-shirt, eyes opening to meet yours for approval. they’re completely darkened. you nod because you can’t answer with words. your tongue is preoccupied, intertwined with his. he sets his hands on your bare stomach, your nails scratching at tom’s scalp in a way that elicits a low groan.

“feels good?” your words come out muffled, barely audible. tom still understands them. “so good,” he rasps, calloused fingers dragging along your skin. they start to move up your body as you brush your lips against his. the kiss is light, and tom’s lips feel swollen as they move. his hands are nearing your chest, your legs tightening around his waist.

it earns another sinful noise from him. you want to see just how much he’s enjoying himself, so you peek up at him. what a sight that is. his faced twisted up as he focuses on kissing you, strands of hair stuck to his forehead from your playing with it. he’s so beautiful, and deserves to know. before you can tell him, you see his phone light up from the corner of your eye.

“tom,” you mumble his name. he’s too distracted by searching for your bra hook to hear. “tommy?” you’re louder this time, his mouth moving off of yours. “what is it, love?” tom exhales, hot breath hitting your face. “i think your mom texted back.” you offer a smile and run your thumb over his plumped lips. he only squints at you.

“about your time of birth,” you clarify. “for your birth chart.” “oh, that.” he kisses your thumb, nodding to himself. “forgot we were doing that.” tom tends to get a bit carried away with anything you related. making out can go on for hours and down many different paths, but it’s not the only thing. he’s a man in love, and the woman he shares that with gets all his attention at any given time. you’re so lucky to receive it.

you nod back and feel his racing heart as it beats against yours. “if you still want to, yeah.” “i definitely do. wanna hear you say more nice things about me,” tom jokes, a smug grin pulling at his lips. your eyes narrow. “who says they’ll be nice?” you challenge and earn a snicker from him.

“alright, missy. can you hand me my phone please?” he drops his head onto your chest, big brown eyes gazing up at you. “yes, sir.” you pat his cheek and grab his phone from next to you. tom’s contact name for nikki is set as ‘Ma x’, which brings a toothy smile to your face. “here you go.” you dangle his phone above his head. tom takes it from you promptly. “thanks.”

after leaving a couple of kisses on your clothed chest, he rolls to lay next to you. “let’s see, let’s see,” he murmurs, reading his mom’s messages. you scoot closer so you can look. “ooh, lots of crying emojis,” tom remarks. “i think you made her kinda nostalgic.” you pout at the screen. copying your face, he clicks on a picture nikki attached.

“she even pulled out the birth certificate.” he shows you his phone, and you zoom in to see when he was born. “big stuff here,” you say while you read. tom takes the time to get comfortable, resting his chin on your shoulder. “looks like you popped out in the middle of the night,” you conclude, giving him his phone back. he clicks his tongue at you.

“don’t say popped out.” feigning innocence, you glance over at him. “too late.” tom types out a reply thanking his mom before tossing his phone aside. “middle of the night makes sense, though.” he bites the inside of his cheek. “i’ve always been a party animal, haven’t i?” you turn onto your side and put a hand on his chest.

“it’s in your gemini nature. or really, your tom nature.” tom does an over exaggerated wink. “i like the sound of that.” he chuckles when you hit at his chest. “bring the laptop. let’s get this thing going.” you huff as you reach over him to grab it. you’ve switched positions so you’re laying horizontally on your stomach and over his legs, your laptop in front of you.

“if we find out there’s any scorpio in you...” you shutter. “hm? what’s wrong with scorpios?” tom wonders, watching you plug his birth time into the generator. “they’re literally insane, tom. like, serial killer insane. there’s statistics.” your eyes go wide as you hit enter. he leans his head back on his arms with a wince. “never mind, then.”

a small gasp leaves your lips, you squeezing tom’s knee. “it’s done.” “what does it say? share with the audience,” tom requests so you do your thing. you’re eager to get to it, turning the laptop to show him his birth chart. “ok, so.” you point at a box a few places down. “this is your rising sign, which is basically how other people see you.”

tom reads the chart, moving his own finger along the screen. “it says i’m a... taurus. what are those like?” “in one word? boring,” you summarize, tom only frowning. “kidding, kidding.” his frown fades into a small smile at that. “they’re known for being super nice and chill... also stubborn,” you tell him and prop your head in your hand.

“so, that makes no sense. those are complete opposites,” tom comments, slipping out from under you. he settles by your side. “i don’t get how i can be a gemini and a taurus, either.” “weird, right?” you sigh in content as his hand comes to stay on the small of your back. “very strange. do you think it could be wrong?”

“are you questioning the universe’s plan?” you tease, tom drumming his fingers on you. “yes, i am.” “see, you’re stubborn! taurus things.” you scroll down to his moon sign before he can protest. tom sticks out his tongue and tries to lick your cheek, which you stop by putting your hand in his face. “next is your moon sign,” you laugh out, ignoring his boyish behavior.

“that controls your emotions and private thoughts,” you elaborate and look presently surprised when you see what tom’s is. “yours is sagittarius. that’s a cool one.” “is it? how come?” tom sneaks a few kisses down the shell of your ear. “you guys are really open-minded and into things that challenge you.” he nods, signaling for you to go on. you turn onto your back so you’re looking up at him.

“you’re all about your freedom, though. it’s hard to hold you down for too long.” grinning, tom brings his face into your line of vision. “that must mean you’re a real force because i’m not going anywhere.” he nudges your nose with his, lips ghosting over yours. you return the smile and meet him halfway for your lips to connect. “anytime soon,” tom adds on in a whisper, kissing back easily.

this one doesn’t last long, but it doesn’t need to. it’s just one of those kisses that makes you feel each other’s love, no matter how you go about it. they’re essentially your own made up love language.

you’re still smiling when your lips detach, fingers combing through tom’s tussled locks. “now that we’ve done the big three...” you preface. “androids, aliens, and wizards?” tom jokes, you breathing out a laugh. you’d thought he had a soft spot for sam and bucky. your suspicions were correct.

“cute, but no. your sun sign, moon sign, and rising sign,” you explain to him. “sure, sure. what about them?” tom toys with the hem of your shirt while you think. a mischievous glint in your eyes, you suddenly sit up. “since you know yours, and i know mine, how about we test our compatibility?”

tom is well aware of what that means, and he isn’t so sure he’d like to do it. he’s someone who believes in cliches like soulmates and fate, so he’ll take your results seriously. after the lessons on astrology you gave him, especially.

his heart will always hold a special place for you and you only. nothing will change that. but, what if the universe says you can’t be together? where do you go from there?

“um,” tom presses his lips into an uncertain line. you’re already getting your laptop. “i mean, do we want to know? what if we’re not...” you come back over to him with both eyebrows furrowed. “compatible?” “yeah” he hesitates before answering, which tells you he’s nervous.

“it’s just for fun, tommy,” you assure him and press a quick kiss to his lips. “besides, if anyone could defy the odds, it would be us.” tom perks up a bit, sitting up next to you. “you think we’re that strong, huh?” “absolutely. do you?” you’re already sure what he’s going to say. he pulls you into his lap, kissing at your hair and letting it linger. “one hundred percent. i’ll do it.”

you put your laptop in your own lap with a grin. tom’s arms hold you by your middle. “ok, here we go,” you mutter, searching for a good compatibility calculator. it doesn’t take long to find one. “remember, this all a bunch of theories. our love goes beyond what a stupid website tells us, okay?” you remind him, his arms tightening around you.

“okay. i love you,” tom speaks into your hair. “you’re so good at saying exactly what i need to hear. how do you do it?” “i love you too, and that’s a secret i’ll never tell.” you take one of his hands and bring it to your lips. tom’s leg bounces while you plug your three signs and his into the calculator. before hitting the calculate option, you look at him over your shoulder.

“ready?” your finger hovers over the cursor. you know how much these things mean to him, so you want to be positive that he is. “can we do it together?” tom asks shyly, which is highly uncharacteristic of him. “sure, baby. on the count of three.” you wait for him to place his hand over yours. he grips it tight, then you start to count. “one... two... three.”

the two of you click calculate at the same time, your results taking a few seconds to load. “love, i’m so nervous. i can’t look.” tom dips his head down so yours is blocking his view. you lightheartedly roll your eyes. “it’s fine, tom. i’m sure we’ll-“ the screen changes to display your compatibility rating, you cutting yourself off. he slowly creeps out from behind you.

“oh, god. are they in? what’s it say?” tom grabs onto your waist, feeling vibrations from you giggling. you shake your head at the website. “it’s really good... almost a perfect match. told you we’re meant to be.” he joins in your laughter, an endless amount of kisses going down the side of your head. “now, it’s written in the stars. we’re untouchable!”

he’s flipping you over so he lays above you, lips colliding messily with yours for the millionth time today. you don’t mind, though. you could do this a million more. “a power couple,” you continue for him between another peck of his lips. “always have been,” tom corrects and shuts you up again with his mouth on yours.

your hand reaches up for him, but doesn’t make it as the passionate kiss he’s giving you takes your breath away. he locks your fingers together instead, whispering one last thing.

“always will be.”

[nctsworld]

the yuletide boyfriend

✩‌ yangyang ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fluff | angst | smut | friends to lovers | ‌college au | 9k

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ your one wish this year is to not be single during the holidays. yangyang, as your best friend, takes it upon himself to be your temporary boyfriend. soon enough, both parties begin to wish this new arrangement could last beyond the holidays. // part of the x-mas in ncity collection WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ implied ‌anxiety attack (during the first part of dec 24th – skip if need to), smut, mutual m*sturbation, couch s*x, angst, miscommunication, swearing RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ mature TAGLIST ⇾ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ this is my longest fic to date and also... might be my worst b/c i feel like the angst plot points don’t really make sense... but i hope y’all still enjoy!!! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

NOVEMBER 30th

“So, anything special on your wishlist this year?”

Your best friend, Yangyang, asks you as you two sit next to each other on one of the many plush lounge couches in the Psychology building. It’s the usual lunch spot where you meet with him during your break between lectures.

The Psych building held much sentimental value for both of you because you met in Psych 101 during first year. Fast-forward three years later, neither of you expected to be the close friends that you are today.  

Chewing your sandwich, you ponder on his question for a bit. Through the transparent glass walls leading to outside, you see the trickle of students heading towards the building since class is about to start for the noon round of lectures. A couple, you assume by the tight hand-holding and nose kissing, giggles as they enter the building, glued to one another by the hip.

“Not really.” You drop your head downward to your lunch container, smiling to yourself. “I’m honestly just happy to have Mark in my life, especially at this point in the year.”

Yangyang nods in accordance and smiles too, understanding the story behind your sentiment.

The boyfriends you’ve had since first year have always broken up with you before the holidays, right before the end of November. Since you only became close during second year, Yangyang’s been around for two out of three of your cursed holiday break-ups.

To have Mark, your latest boyfriend, be with you and it being already December tomorrow, it was truly a blessing for you and a silver lining that maybe this was the year to break the curse. Yangyang was grateful too, wanting you to have the utmost happiness.    

You take another bite of your sandwich and tilt your chin toward the ramen eater.

“You?”

Yangyang slurps a few more noodles before he answers.

“I mean, the new Playstation would be nice,” he hums, mouth full.

Pointing the tip of your sandwich, you joke, “I’ll get it for you, but only if we share custody over it.”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head during a mid-slurp. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Both of you laugh in unison, living in the calm before the oncoming storm.

DECEMBER 5th

The E-Sports club for the university is hosting a party tonight and because Yangyang’s on one of the professional teams, he asked a few weeks ago if you and Mark wanted to attend. Of course you accepted; Mark also had some friends in the club.

However, when you text Yangyang in the afternoon, stating a change of mind, he knows something’s off.

Half an hour before the party starts, Yangyang decides to visit you. Thankfully you both lived on campus, but even if you lived across town, he’d still bus out to see how you were doing. He does it all the time to visit his family, anyway.  

In the living room, the two sudden knocks at your door startle you. Peering through the peephole, you see the usual sight of your best friend, his lips curled upward and thumbs tucked in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet.

It feels like an eternity for him when you unlock your door. The hinges squeal as you open it hesitatingly, your face barely appearing through the agape crack.

Immediately, his smile dissolves. Your face is drained and blood-shot eyes avoiding his own confront him.

Yangyang has only seen you cry twice in the three years he’s known you:

Once, when you were freaking the fuck out over potentially failing a course (but, on the upside, you ended up passing the final to save your grade).

The second time was at his house for a family dinner, when his mom accidentally added too much hot chili sauce to her homemade beef noodle soup (let’s just say you weren’t the only one crying that night).

Those were tears of dread and physical discomfort.

But this… this was crying he’s never seen from you before. His chest collapses inward, fearful of the reason behind your tears.  

His voice shakes as he asks, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Neither of you are major huggers and only exchange them on the rare occasion.

However, this situation screams the necessity of it, so Yangyang lunges towards you, the collision swinging the door out of the way. His arms embrace you like a large, warm blanket. Comforting and safe.  

Despite the affection, emptiness has taken over your body. Tonight, you’re a dead, empty shell of who you normally are.

You feel weak to the bone, but you muster up enough energy to scarcely raise your arms over his back to return the hug. Your eyes are dry from all the crying you’ve done all day, but apparently you have more tears left in you to spare.

Your eyelids snap shut and your jaw clenches.  

“Mark broke up with me.”

Your words are muffled into his shoulder, but Yangyang hears it crystal clear.  

You break down, sobbing out of control over the statement.

As aforementioned, Yangyang’s been around for your last two, now three, break-ups. Sure, he’s aware of how grumpy and distant you can get, but you never cried in front of him. You made an effort to never have him see you at your lowest point.

And yet, here you are, drowning him in your misery. Guilt washes over you for drenching his bomber jacket, but Yangyang couldn’t give two shits. His arms squeeze tighter while he rubs your back tenderly.

After several minutes pass and your waterworks abate, you peel away from him. You sniffle and rub your nose with the back of your hand.

“Sorry about cancelling last minute.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” he whispers soothingly.

“I’m just… so fucking frustrated.”

With fatigued eyes, you drag yourself back inside your apartment. Yangyang discreetly closes the door behind him and hurriedly uses his feet to push off his shoes. As he does so, your mouth begins to run off while you slowly pace around aimlessly.  

“Fucking done with boyfriends, especially when they think it’s so fucking awesome to keep breaking up with me right before the holidays.”

He kicks off his last stubborn shoe and catches you raking your hands through your hair, pulling it back firmly. Your lips are trembling, along with your entire frame.  

“Like I get that I’m horrible and needy and emotional—”

His mouth opens, wanting to cut in to disagree with you with all his heart, but he clamps it back shut and swallows, allowing you to blow your steam off.

“—but can’t they wait until the fucking new year? I don’t know, or maybe just don’t date me in the first place! I don’t know, I don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just cursed, Yangyang...”

You flop down onto the couch and sink into the ocean of shiny pleather, shutting your eyes and trying to stop crying for the nth time. The deep sting behind your eyelids pain you, but it pains Yangyang more to watch the events unfolding ahead of him.  

Unsure of what to say, Yangyang walks around the room. His gaze falls on your laptop screen and he frowns at the mostly bare Word document that stares back at him:  

“WISHLIST:   -KEEP ONE (1) FUCKING BOYFRIEND DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING SDKMFLDS”

There are a few more lines below it with more profanities and keyboard smashing. He quickly darts away, a pang of guilt striking for invading your privacy.

Then, he turns to you on the couch again. You’re now covering your eyes with your forearm, pressing your lips together. His chest twists and his throat is arid as a desert.

You’re in shambles and he’s dying to pick up the shattered pieces of you, wants to glue you back together. On a regular basis, Yangyang’s a talking machine and can talk your ear off for hours, but right now, he doesn’t know what to say to you in your current state. He second-guesses himself, wonders if he’s even that great of a friend if he can’t comfort you in your worst times.

Blowing out a long sigh and removing your arm, you speak aloud, “You should get going to the party.”

Like awakening from a deep slumber, you rise up sluggishly and sit up on the couch, slouched over. The other figure in the room steps closer to you.  

“Sorry about your jacket, by the way,” you say. Your body is still, but your glazed eyes move to the dark spot on the middle of his shoulder. He glances at it and shrugs.  

“It’s better like this anyway,” he says with a gentle smile, and the tight knot in his heart softens at the flicker of your own smile, albeit a small one. Unfortunately, it fades in a few seconds. “I don’t want to leave you like this, though.”

You stare at the used, crumpled balls of tissues scattered on the living room table. Some also ended up on the floor. Break-ups are shit and 98% inevitable, but you know you’ll eventually get over it. You always do.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if asking, “Are you sure?” The lack of a worded reply causes you to notice the question written on his face.  

“Go,” you plead with a feeble laugh. “Have fun for me.”

Both of you head towards your front door again. Crossing your arms, you lean your head against the door frame and attempt a smile for your best friend.

“Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Yangyang nods with a half-smile, half-pout, “Of course.”

You give him a departing wave prior to sealing your door.

Usually, Yangyang would bus from your place to the student union building, where the party is being held. Instead, he zippers up his jacket and stuffs his fists into his pockets, opting to bear the early winter chill to walk his thoughts off. His blazing self-doubt burns at first, but he overcomes it by focusing on ideas to fix your accursed dating rut instead.  

Halfway through the walk, a light bulb moment occurs. A plan begins to brew on the surface of his mind and he thinks on it for the rest of the week.  

DECEMBER 11th

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Yangyang.

Finals started already, so classes were done for the semester and thus, your lunch meet-ups halted too. On top of that, since you were simultaneously moping and studying, you hadn’t really texted him much, nor had he, besides the occasional check-up text on how studying was going and random memes. Yangyang knew you preferred time alone to heal and he respected that.  

He also thought six days was enough time to get yourself back on your feet.  

Yangyang’s at your front door once again, but this time with two bowls of his mom’s beef noodle soup in tow.  

“Long time, no see,” you greet. Your tone is chipper, but your eyes look heavy, which could be partially from studying, Yangyang thinks. His smile deepens, content that you seem a lot better than the last time he visited.

“Delivery for two,” he raises the bag in his hand.

“And if I told you I already ate dinner?” you playfully retort.

The boyish man shrugs defeatedly, “Then I’ll tell my mom you hate her cooking—”

“You didn’t say it was your mom’s, Yangyang. Oh, my God,” you gasp, half-mockingly. You rush to grab the bags out of his hand and stroll towards your tiny kitchen. “Start off with that next time.”

As you remove the containers from the bag and onto the granite countertop, Yangyang shuts the door and takes his shoes off.  

“So, I’m gonna be upfront and say that I may have come here with a proposal.”

“Changed your mind about the shared custody of the Playstation?”

“I’m still considering that one.” Finally in his socks, he slings his backpack off his shoulder and plops it onto the couch along with his jacket. He stands next to you by the counter. “But it’s on the same page as that. Remember that day we were talking about wishlists?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum as you rip off the lid of one of the bowls. Blatant wisps fly upward and you inhale the savoury aroma, followed by a heavenly sigh.  

“Last time I was here… I might’ve seen what you wrote on your laptop.”

Your expression immediately changes into full-on cringe. You bring a palm over to your face.

“Oh, God. Let’s not talk about that. That was just weepy, lonely me talking.”

Yangyang pops off the lid for his bowl and steps into your kitchen, rummaging through your drawers for chopsticks. “So you’re telling me you don’t want a boyfriend for Christmas?”

Your hand flies off your face. Eyes widening, you spew, “Do you have a boyfriend in your pocket, ready for me to have?”

In your open hand, he places a pair of chopsticks into it. “Well, actually, I was thinking—”

Sternly, you point the chopsticks at him. “Don’t you dare set me up with your friends.”

He counters and points his at you, “Even better than that.”

With your interest piqued, you slide yourself onto the counter stool and mix the noodles around, anticipating to hear Yangyang’s fantastic plan. Your friend sits on the other stool, facing you. He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath.  

“Why don’t I be your boyfriend for the holidays?”

You freeze, and the noodles’ drips above your bowl are deafening to both individuals. Laughing awkwardly, you break your frozen state to drop your chopsticks and turn your head to look at him.

Sputtering, you say, “What?”

Unnerved, his mouth pinches to one side, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. This was stupid, so stupid, but it’s out in the open and Yangyang already dug his grave—he may as well lay in it.  

“Well, for one, it’s something on your wishlist that I can easily get,” he pauses mid-sentence, glancing upward in thought. “Well, really, fill? Is that a better way to put it?”

He continues, eyes back on you, “And two, I’m not setting you up with a stranger or someone you wouldn’t be comfortable with. I assume you know me well enough that you’re comfortable around me?”

Yangyang lifts an upturned palm and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response to his assumption. Petulantly, you shake your head playfully and stick out your tongue at him.  

Rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze drops down to the floor for his last point. His voice lowers.

“And, I don’t know, we’d just hang out like we usually do during that time, except we’d do more couple-y things.”

Realizing the implication of his words, he widens his eyes. “I mean, we'll do whatever you’re comfortable with, obviously. We don’t have to do any of the physical stuff—”

You burst into a giggle at his rambling and hold a hand out, cutting him off. “Okay, Yang. I get it.”  

Yangyang watches your next moves carefully. You’re peering off to one side and picking at the tips of your fingers. After a minute that feels like forever, you nod slowly.

“I guess you have a point. We are sorta like a couple already.”

Your best friend sighs in relief, grinning that you’re not outright rejecting the idea.

“So,” you meet his eyes and bunch a shoulder up towards your ear. “We’ll just be a couple until what, New Year’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs indifferently. “Whatever you want. It’s your Christmas wish.”

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief that you two are actually making an agreement for Yangyang to be your temporary, holiday boyfriend.

Honestly, it’s a little crazy... but maybe it’s the perfect thing to get your mind off of Mark and the handful of holiday exes hanging above your head.

“Okay, since my last final is on the 21st, let’s start ‘dating’ then and we’ll play everything by ear, see how it goes.”

Yangyang bobs his head eagerly. “Sounds good, soon-to-be girlfriend.”

He sticks a hand out for you to shake. You take it firmly, sealing the deal and flashing him a grin.

“Soon-to-be boyfriend.”  

Although the night goes on like usual between the two of you, you couldn’t deny how ecstatic you are to finally have a boyfriend during the holidays, even if it was technically your best friend as a stand-in.

DECEMBER 21st

Tonight’s your first date with Yangyang.

That sounds weird to say, you admit to yourself, but it’s the truth.

After you stroll out of your last final of the semester, Yangyang’s waiting for you inside near the main exit of the building with several layers on, including his hoodie over his head and a knitted scarf underneath. His attention leaves his phone and he stuffs it into pocket as he notices you heading over.  

“Hey, girlfriend,” he welcomes you, beaming.

You snicker at the unfamiliar label. You wonder if you’re going to get used to this, even if it’s only for two weeks.  

“Hey, boyfriend,” you grin harder as the word falls from your lips, trying your best not to outright burst into laughter. “Where we heading off to?”

Although you said both of you could play the dating by ear, Yangyang’s been keen on scheduling plans for the upcoming days. You told him he didn’t have to, however, he insisted by saying that he wouldn’t only be a horrible boyfriend, but a horrible friend if he couldn’t make the next weeks fun for you.

Yangyang was anything but a horrible friend, and the fact that he was willing to be your holiday boyfriend to make you happy proved it further. Nevertheless, you gladly let him take the reins.

“I was thinking the movies tonight? See the latest Marvel film?”

Concurring to the idea, you scurry towards the bus stop and are movie-theatre bound to the nearest one off-campus. Arriving at the theatre, Yangyang and you buy your tickets and a popcorn to share, then head into the respective auditorium where the movie is playing. Since the movie’s been running for a couple of weeks, the auditorium is fairly empty, giving you two the chance to snag perfect middle seats with nobody else is in the row.  

Up to this point, aside from the name-dropping of boyfriend and girlfriend, this feels less like a date and more like any other hang-out with him. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing awkward.

But that changes during a third of the movie.

You’re both so immersed by the screen that neither party notices the other’s hand when both of you reach for the popcorn in Yangyang’s lap at the same time.  

A jolt runs through as your hands brush together. The duo’s eyes tear away from the screen and flit to the action happening in real-time. The touch lingers for several moments.  

“Sorry,” you quickly mumble, drawing your hand back slightly, but still hovering over the popcorn.    

“Uhm,” Yangyang licks his lips and visibly gulps under the screen’s bright glare.

He whispers, his voice almost cracking, “As your boyfriend, can I hold your hand?”

Okay, this is just your best friend, acting as your temporary boyfriend, asking to hold your hand. No big deal, no big deal at all.

Yet, the thunderous knocking in your ears, louder than the explosions blasting through the theatre’s speakers, suggests otherwise.

You don’t even register it, but you’re already nodding in response. Your breathing slows to the rate of Yangyang’s hand inching over. At the anticipated contact, you gasp softly. His smooth fingers clasp over yours. Since the arm rest in the middle of you is positioned upward, there’s no obtrusion and you relax, letting your hands mingle in between the empty space.

Without looking at one another, both of you smile bashfully to yourselves as you try to continue to focus on the screen.

After a while, because you aren’t exactly holding hands, you spread your fingers, hastily doing so because you don’t want him to think you’re breaking the interaction, and twist your palm to properly interlock hands with him. You give Yangyang’s hand a warm, gentle squeeze. He does the same and even strokes his thumb against your skin.

Talk about playing everything by ear. Who knew you’d be hand in hand on the first date?

You attempt to not think much on it, but Yangyang’s hand in yours feels... so right, like your hand was made for this, for his to hold. Like you should’ve done this way sooner.

And if Yangyang’s thoughts could be heard, he’s thinking the same.

Despite the mutual fear of sweaty palms, neither of you desire to let go, so much that you not only hold hands during the rest of the movie, but throughout the bus ride back to campus and all the way until he escorts you to your front door.

With a certain charge in the atmosphere, you exchange sweet good-byes. That night, after the culmination of stress from finals and your worries of your holiday exes, you finally have a peaceful sleep, looking forward to your date with Yangyang tomorrow.

DECEMBER 22nd

“Babe, how do I look?”

“Very pretty, honey.” A bundled up Yangyang winks at you from behind his phone.

The second date is an evening at a Christmas light festival at a botanical garden on the outskirts of town. The lights illuminate so strongly; there was a glowing dome-like hue over the location that seemed to reach the dark sky as you got off the bus.

When stepping foot into the garden, all the encompassing lights mesmerize you. Lights on the various greenery, lights as decorative art pieces, lights lining the pathways. Different shades of colours and shapes engulf the massive area.

Yangyang’s currently in the middle of taking your photo near an arch tangled with dark blue, gold, and white bulbs. All night long, you’ve been mockingly using endearing terms, but, despite the frigid air, your cheeks heat up over something else he just said.

“You think I’m pretty?” you genuinely ask, breaking your pose.  

He lowers his phone a bit, his jaw dangling.

“Uh, I mean,” he giggles awkwardly, nodding softly. “Yeah.”

Yangyang never told you, but he initially sat near you in Psych 101 because he thought you were the most stunning girl in the class. And sure, he was a little disappointed at the time to find out you had a boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends. Other than the first few weeks he had a crush on you, he’s never thought of you as more than a friend.  

But those feelings are resurfacing, hitting him in the chest like a bag of bricks, due to moments like this one—you’re batting your eyelids, gaze straying elsewhere, and adorably chewing on your lower lip.  

“And you’re not just saying that as my holiday boyfriend?”

Pouting to one side, he shakes his head cutely. “Mm-mm.”

On the flipside, the beginning with Yangyang for you was strictly platonic. You were dating Haechan at the time you met him. When Haechan broke up with you later that fall, you kept a distance from dating for a while, heartbroken from the high school love gone sour. During that period, you never told him, but you did run through the possibility of dating Yangyang since you got along so well... until you met Jaemin earlier the next semester, who stole your heart. Ever since then, you’ve never seen Yangyang under that light again.

Despite that, you can’t deny how attractive he is, and now that you’re single and technically dating him, you embrace the fact with open arms.  

Beaming as bright as the lights, you tug him by the end of his puffer jacket’s sleeve to bring him closer to you.

“C’mon, handsome, let’s take some pictures together.” Prickles rise under Yangyang’s cheeks from the off-hand compliment.  

Holding your phone up in the air at about an arm’s length away, the side of your heads touch to prepare for a few selfies. When you finish capturing them, Yangyang’s hovering over your shoulder as you scroll through to glance through the photos.

“We look good together,” you comment. “Don’t you think?”

In sync, your heads turn to meet each other. Your eyes waver from the blatant clouds of your breaths and over to his lips. The clouds become rapid bursts as you begin to lean forward. So does Yangyang.

“Do you guys want a picture together?” someone suddenly asks. The abrupt voice drags you both apart instantly, crushing the moment into pieces.

“Sure,” you peep, fumbling to hand your phone over to the stranger.

Posing, Yangyang’s hand rests around the middle of your back, which is the norm when you take pictures with him, but he pulls you in snugly. You smile even wider, relishing in the new-level of intimacy and allow yourself to be truly content among his presence.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the stranger gushes while they return your phone prior to walking away.

“I guess we are, huh, babe?” you jut your tongue out in jest at him. This time, you indulge in the endearing term without a sliver of mockery.  

Yangyang copies you, jutting his tongue out further than yours, and seizes your hand to continue the tour around the gleaming garden.

The almost-kiss isn’t mentioned for the rest of the night, nor is it acted upon, but both individuals dwell on the near occurrence before sleep that evening, staring longingly at their bedroom ceiling.

DECEMBER 23rd

For the third date, you find yourselves at the campus’ dedicated ice rink arena to partake in ice skating.

You’ve skated a few times in the past, but you’re by no means a pro. On the other hand, this is apparently Yangyang’s first time, and he’s already skating circles around you.

“Show off,” you grumble as he does another lap past you. Your gloved hands are splayed out in front of you, careful not to fall flat on your face.

Turning on his blades, he rebounds over to you.

“Sorry,” he pants. His raised cheeks glow an adorable shade of pink. “This is really fun when you get the hang of it.”

Yangyang intertwines his fingers with yours before you can say anything. “C’mon, take my hand.”  

At first, it was sweet to skate alongside your holiday boyfriend, notwithstanding the few times you almost trip. As the minutes pass, you think you’re getting the hang of it, but suddenly, Yangyang unleashes your hand and glides ahead of you, abandoning you to slide at a swift pace that is definitely out of your comfort zone.  

“Yangyang, what the fuck?!” you screech, completely disregarding the handful of surrounding parents with their kids, the former sending daggers your direction. Your ankles struggle to make a T-shape to stop, but the struggling only somehow makes you move faster.  

As he spins to face you, now skating backwards with ease, he says, “See, you got the hang of it-oomph—”

Air’s struck from his lungs when you crash into his body. Thankfully, Yangyang skids his blades harshly against the ice and is able to steady and support you within his arms.

“You little fucker,” you gripe, lightly punching him in the arm.

He chuckles blithely, “Sorry, but it was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

You breathe a large huff, which makes you note how your hair is falling over your face after the catastrophe. You’re about to lift your hand to rearrange the strands, but Yangyang beats you to it and is in the midst of tucking them behind your ear.

The knocking in your ears reappears with a vengeance and the physical source of the knocking is thrashing violently against your chest.

Your scorching breaths fuse in the refrigerated rink as Yangyang eliminates the inches of space between, his plush mouth ultimately converging with yours.

You have to constantly remind yourself to breathe under Yangyang’s intensity, and remind yourself that you’re in a public space and shouldn’t be making out like this.

But everyone’s skating around the couple, daring to not disrupt the affectionate display.

God, you don’t know when was the last time you’ve been kissed like this. Have you ever even experienced a kiss that was a fraction of this? Yangyang daintily cups your cheeks like you’re glass, but his lips press ruggedly into yours, inflaming your entirety and melting any existence of your figurative fragility.  

You ignore the echo in the back of your mind that reminds you he’s your temporary boyfriend.

The Talk will inevitably occur, but your future self could deal with it. Presently, you’re too caught up, drowning in Yangyang’s embrace.

DECEMBER 24th

On Christmas Eve, Yangyang decides to bring you to an outdoor Christmas market.

Understandably, since it’s the day before Christmas, the place is absolutely packed. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it’s joyous being immersed in the Christmas spirit with the assorted little shops and their respective products. You’re holding Yangyang’s hand tightly, pointing and half-shouting over the bustle about the items that catch your eye.

Unfortunately, someone accidentally bumps against your arms and your hand is gone from his.

Swivelling your head, searching through the crowd, it occurs to you that you officially lost Yangyang.

Your feet come to a halt as your hand attempts to dig into your jacket pocket to pluck your phone out, but the moving crowd forces you to constantly follow the stream.

You yell for him, but words can’t materialize. Your windpipe tightens. Your breath is becoming shallower and shallower. Blood pulses in your ears alarmingly, blocking out the clamour from around you. Your mind’s running everywhere without control.

Where is your boyfriend?

No, scratch that, he’s not your actual boyfriend—where is your best friend?

Did he leave you? He would never.

Right?

But what happens when all of this is over? Will you still have your best friend?

You’ve avoided The Talk long enough, but you didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. Not like this.  

Maybe you’re just destined to be alone.

Is this how it feels to actually lose him?

Tears fight your vision. You hear a faint call of your name, but you can’t urge yourself to turn around, sinking only further into the sea of anonymity. You’re just a face in a crowd, all alone, with no one who cares—

Yangyang grasps you by the arm and maneuvers you aside to a less busy area behind one of the vendor stands.

“Oh, God, thought I lost you there—”

You cut him off, hugging him with all your might and stuff your face in his chest cushioned by the downy layers of his winter jacket. Yangyang immediately drapes his arms securely around you, reading your uneasiness.  

“Hey, I got you. I got you,” he soothes, running a hand through your hair. “God, not my best idea. Sorry for bringing you here.”

You shake your head, wordlessly informing him that it’s okay. You’re just glad to be with him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You nod solemnly, and Yangyang zips you out of there in minutes with his arm tucked by your side,  ensuring he doesn’t lose you in the crowd again.

Fortunately, the jitters mostly disappear when you arrive at your place in the late afternoon. You’re in the middle of rummaging through your keys to unlock your door.

“Sorry I didn’t have anything else planned for today,” he mumbles, leaning with folded arms against the wall.

“Did you...” You insert the correct key and turn the lock, clicking the door open. Your gaze lifts to match his. “Did you wanna maybe have dinner with me tonight? I was thinking of ordering pizza in.”

The grin that reaches his eyes is a sufficient answer for you.

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He hangs his arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss atop your head.

After chomping down pizza and playing a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. on Yangyang’s Switch, you peer over to him on your living room couch while he’s figuring out which character he should play next.  

The little mental voice in the back of your mind prods you, reminding that you should really, really have The Talk soon. The Talk that you swept under the rug at the start by saying you’d play everything by ear.

Four dates later, and the thought of this ending scares the living daylights out of you. This not only including the interim relationship, but the dire possibility of the friendship itself too. Is it possible to go back to how you were, flipping it off like a light switch?

But the internal voice is smothered as you’re drawn to his pouting lips in thought. His pouting, oh-so kissable lips. Following the ice skating kiss yesterday, you only shared a good-bye kiss when he dropped you off. Since then, you’ve been itching to have his lips on yours again.

Yangyang eventually detects your lack of focus and finds you gawking at his mouth. Your gaze dashes to his eyes, blinking innocently, but then his eyes flicker to your mouth.

The tension in the room snaps. You two carefully throw the Switch controllers off to one side and attach yourselves together. Unlike the crashing of your bodies at the ice rink, this one is purposeful. Deliberated, as his forehead presses into yours and his tender caress carries your cheek. Your body plummets backwards until Yangyang pins you completely into the couch.

Initially, the lip-locking is gentle and mild. Your fingers lay in the vicinity of his angular visage and sturdy upper frame, in contrast to his hand curling around your waist in a light squeeze.

Soon, hands traverse to other regions—his back, your thigh, his stomach, your ass. Each touch seeking, craving, whining. Tongues slinking and dancing with appetite. Your bodies buzz for more.

Open-mouthed kisses transition from the damp lips to each other’s necks. The touches dig deeper, thriving with hunger. Your back bows, body curving into his. Grinding ensues and his robust desire is blatant against your own pulsing passion.

“You don’t happen to have any condoms on you, do you?” you groan upwards to the ceiling.

He retracts from your neck to swing his head side to side, grumbling a “Sorry, we can stop...” yet you interrupt his apology by cupping his covered length. The guttural groan he exhales into your lips makes you shiver with pleasure.

“Doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun with our hands...” you say slyly.

“Fuck yeah,” he rasps, smirking, before diving in again to taste your mouth.

Clothes are stripped with the assistance of each other, leaving you with only your bra on while Yangyang opts to be completely bare. He tops your body in the same position once more.

On the couch arm rest, your head is perched with his hand clutching the space next to it for leverage. Both figures are too scatter-brained to delve into the exquisite nudity of one another, hands flying desperately to your respective arousals.

Your pretty fingers wrap around his possession almost exactly when he dips two digits into your warmth. In unison, two sharp, quiet gasps pierce the room.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he hisses observantly. You’re so overwhelmed by the bliss that you can’t assemble any sort of response.

Your mouth’s parted to one side, chest soaring with each plunge. Through his clouded vision, he ambles over your curves and lines and yearns to see your breasts, but he respects your choice of keeping it on and opts to ambush the expanse with kisses. Your chest is launched further into his mouth and Yangyang assumes you’re enjoying this.

Fearing friction burn, you drop him from your grip momentarily, swiping a few licks over your palm. When your hand pumps him again, now drenched with saliva, grunts reverberate against your skin.  

“Yangyang?” you whimper, causing his face to pull away from the temple of your body.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-I’m close.” And he can attest to it; the contractions around him are increasing, harshly squeezing his fingers.    

“Same,” he pants.

Your best friend flicks his wrist with ignition, securing your waves of elation. You attempt to do the same, but it’s difficult when he’s also sloppily thrusting himself into your fist, so you simply clench your grasp harder. His features pinch and choppy moans dribble as he yields to his climax, gushing himself over your stomach.  

Still sucking in lungfuls of air, Yangyang kisses you tenderly before removing himself to clean up the mess he made.

Following the clean-up, while putting on your clothes, Yangyang expresses how he should get going since it’s getting late.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you pipe up.

His mind races, debating on whether to leave or not, anxious to blur the lines of your relationship even further.

Sure, he’s your temporary boyfriend, thus staying over at your place shouldn’t mean anything. But this agreement is ending next week, and he’s questioning if you two can stay just friends after this, knowing that he’s going to want more. Yangyang has had a taste of the what if, and it’s now irrevocable.

He wants you all for himself. Selfishly, but deeply.

For the sake of keeping this a great thing for you, he shoves his thoughts aside. This is all about you and for your benefit, anyhow.

“Uh, sure, I can take the couch like I always—”

“Yangyang, you just put your fingers inside of me,” you snicker, snagging him by the hand to your bedroom. “C’mon.”

The rest of the night is relatively chaste with some kisses and touches here and there. Eventually, you fall asleep facing each other with your fingers interlocked, excited for the big day tomorrow.

DECEMBER 25th

Normally on Christmas, Yangyang and you spend it with your respective families, but coincidentally, both of your families, your parents being retired and all, ended up vacationing this year, leaving the two of you to spend it with each other.

After getting up around noon, Yangyang heads to his place to grab his gift. He takes longer than you expected because, as it turns out, he also went home to grab baking goods he bought beforehand since he wants to make butter cookies with you today.

The cookies end up fine, but the mess is another story. Besides the chaos on the counter, your faces and aprons are splotched with flour (you swear he started it, but he disagrees and stands his ground that you’re the perpetrator). With a damp cloth, Yangyang aids you to clean, but not forgetting to wipe your face and giving you pecks over your cheeks and nose.  

The baking and aftermath occupies most of the afternoon, so dinner comes in the form of fancy, romantic instant ramen for two. Afterwards, you two sit in your living room and start to exchange gifts.  

Yangyang hands his over to you first. From the size of the gift and the crumpled, oddly-shaped wrapping, you already can guess it’s a stuffed plushie of a cute animal to add to your never ending collection. You hug it tightly with a large smile.

“It’s so cute, thank you!” you squeal, but you change your expression in an instant to a serious pout. “But you can’t steal this one like you did with my Ice Bear plushie.”

“Hey, I didn’t steal Ice Bear, I just forgot to give him back.” You roll your eyes sarcastically and he laughs. “I’ll bring him over tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”  

Then, when it’s your turn, you head into your bedroom and come out with a large, white shopping bag. His eyebrows raise, unsure of what could warrant a gift this size.

“For being my holiday boyfriend,” you grin, placing the bag in front of his feet.  

Despite the hugest smile on your face, his heart sinks at the label for a second, but he blinks and wills himself to look inside the bag.

His eyes shoot open, so much that you’re scared you might have to stuff them back into his sockets.

Yangyang slips the box out of the bag with precision and stares at it speechlessly.

It’s the new Playstation.

He shifts his eyes toward you. You’re swaying on the couch, pleased by his reaction.  

“Your parents paid for most of it, so I can’t take all the credit.” Sticking a finger in the air, you add, “You just gotta promise to share custody with me though—”

A hand behind your head yanks you into a deep kiss. He’s not the only one left speechless on the couch. He places the top of his head against yours.

“You’re crazy, but I love—” He quickly catches himself from saying something he might regret. “—I love it so much, thank you. Now I feel bad for getting you only the stuffed animal...”

You shake your head softly, brushing your thumb against his cheekbone.

“Thank you for everything.” Your eyes twinkle. “I couldn’t have asked to spend the holidays with anyone else.”

Carefully, like a newborn baby, he safely situates the boxed Playstation to one side and nabs your lips with his again. The scene feels like repeat of last night as your bodies wrestle passionately on the couch.

“Not to be presumptuous,” he mutters between the kisses upon your neck. Your eyelids flutter at the sensation. “But I also grabbed condoms from my place when I stopped by.”

His words sends the two of you leaping towards your bedroom. Under the dim lighting, you fall into the bed as Yangyang pares your layers off, one by one. With each peel, his lips roam the revealing bare skin. You swear he has kissed you from your literal head to toe when you’re fully nude in front of him.

Your companion drags his shirt over his head, throws it off to your floor, and immediately targets in onto your nub with his mouth, finally satiating his craving from last night.

Fingers thread into his hair and over his flexed back. His tongue swirls and his teeth lightly tug on your perkiness, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. And he still isn’t even inside you yet.

After leaving love upon your other bosom, Yangyang fumbles with the condom, forgetting which way it should go on. Giggling, you perch yourself onto your elbows and assist him. Rolling it over his possession, you recline yourself back and spread your legs for him.

Pensively, he sticks his tongue out as he adjusts himself between your sex, easing himself into you, and upon the full impact, you meet his gaze head-on. His stare makes you feel vulnerable and exposed beyond the physical plane.  

But, unlike the others you have been with, you trust him with everything, like you always have, and be free with him. Losing your inhibitions and submitting to your whims, you entangle and become one with Yangyang.  

Behind his hazy vision, Yangyang’s simply thinking how beautiful you are, how he can’t imagine anyone else under his touch but you, how he is willing to give up anything to make you smile.

Well, in this case, he’s willing to give up anything to make you pleased.

However, it doesn’t seem like he needs to do much because you’re howling his name and clinging onto his skin and the sheets in a frenzy, like you’re about to die of exhaustion.

You perish a few times under him before he finally reaches his little death himself, convulsing into the sheath.

When air’s replenished into your bodies, you rest on his chest under your blanket. Glancing up at him, you move some of his tousled hair off his sleek forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Yangyang,” you whisper, snuggling him with a satisfied smile.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he whispers back, giving you one last peck before you both drift into a deep slumber together.  

DECEMBER 26th

Last night took so much out of the both of you, you don’t get out of bed until about the middle of the afternoon. Yangyang doesn’t have anything planned for today since it’s Boxing Day, since the crowds might be crazy wherever you go, so it’s officially a chill, rest day for you both.

When you step out of the shower in fresh clothes, from behind the couch, you watch Yangyang gaming on his Switch.

The little voice in your head looms, prompting that now is the time to have The Talk, and speaks up on your behalf.

“Do we have to end things next week?” you croak.

You see Yangyang’s shoulders stiffen, then he pauses the game and turns around to face you. His gaze follows you as you step closer to the couch, opting to stand.  

“Uhm.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he shrugs. “It’s up to you, it’s your—”

“Yangyang, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what you think, how do you feel?”

His lips press together and he’s staring at the floor. You can tell the gears are moving, but you can’t read his expression clearly.

“I’m down for whatever you want to do,” he says slowly, eyes still averting yours.

That’s a I’m-your-best-friend answer, you deduce. Not a I-want-to-be-your-actual-boyfriend answer.  

He adds, stuttering, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing this a little longer if that’s what you want—”

Your face scrunches in annoyance. “Did you just sign up to be my short-term boyfriend so you can fill my empty heart?”

His eyebrows crease with confusion. “I mean, I never want to see you unhappy.”

“So it’s pity dating then?” you lash, raising your voice.

“No, I—” Yangyang bites down on his tongue, almost letting the one word slip out again. He blows out a lengthy sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you, so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

You’re defining his words as an affirmation of friendship and as an underlying rejection of your love.

You need to know for certain.

“Do you love me, Yangyang?” you blurt. “As more than a friend?”

This is it, Yangyang thinks. This is your chance to let her know how you feel.

But the distress written on your face makes him wonder if he should even go through with it, and it’s intensifying with every passing moment that he’s not speaking.  

If only he knew your distress was deepening because you took his hesitance as absolute rejection.  

Your heart is breaking because of him, and he technically wasn’t even yours to begin with.

You smack your lips together and gulp a few times, trying to make the huge knot in your throat disappear.

“You know what, maybe let’s just forget this arrangement and leave it all behind and forget about the sex and—”

“You wanna stop this?” he utters quietly.

The word “this” hangs heavy in the air. This, carrying the weight of not only being the temporary agreement, but also your friendship.

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears beginning to blur your eyes. “I think I do.”

DECEMBER 28th

Two days have passed since you last saw Yangyang.

That day before he left, Yangyang, feeling guilty for how events unfolded, wanted to give back the Playstation, but you insisted for him to keep it. In spite of everything, it was a Christmas gift to him from you and his parents.

But both of you weren’t sure if the shared custody promise was going to be held up.  

In hopes that things would eventually get better and heal itself, Yangyang thought it’d be best to leave you alone for a while, like how he usually did.

And maybe he was right to do so, but this time is different.

Because he’s on the other end of the stick now; he’s the one who broke your heart.  

Under regular circumstances, whenever you needed space, he was always ready to be there by your side.

But Yangyang’s uncertain if you’re going to let him comfort you this time.  

And you’re uncertain if you even want him to.

DECEMBER 30th

Today, Yangyang finally makes the move to get in touch with you, texting you to call him, but you don’t, so he leaves a voicemail later in the evening.

“There’s a New Year’s party I’m going to tomorrow,” he starts off, then spews the specific details.

There’s a pause and you hear shuffling in the background. You assume he’s pacing around.

“I know you ended our agreement, but I wouldn’t mind fulfilling my end since New Year’s is the last day tomorrow. I’d be really glad if you came to the party with me, whether it be as my friend or my girlfriend.”

Another pause.

On the other end, Yangyang rubs his palm over his face, considering whether or not he should say it. If you picked up the phone call, he was going to do it anyway, but this just felt improper. He wants to say it when he knows you’re listening in real-time, so he ends off the message with:

“I miss you. So much.”

DECEMBER 31st

It’s 8:40PM. Before Yangyang buses out to the party, he’s back at your front door for one more shot. His fist taps at your door, cognizant that you wouldn’t be elsewhere since your other friends are out of town for the holidays. Despite that, you don’t come to the door. Nevertheless, he speaks to you through the wooden barrier.

“Hey, I know you want to be left alone, but I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about the party.”

Still no answer. He lets out a sigh and prays the following will incite a reaction from you.  

“About the question that you asked me that night...”

He closes his eyes and allows his mouth to carry him.

“I do. I do love you. As both my best friend and more. I’m sorry if I hurt you that night by not saying anything, but I love you so much and I think we should give us a shot.”

Still no answer. Yangyang continues.

“Look, I know it’s scary and crazy to date your best friend. I’m scared too, but you know what? I’m okay with being scared. I’ve watched you gone through those assholes over the last few years and maybe you’re scared I’ll end up like one of them, but unlike them, I don’t think you’re horrible or needy or emotional—you’re beautiful, intelligent, and strong for putting up with all those fuckers.”

He leans his forehead gently against the door.

“And even if we ever do break up, and this is a big if because I’ll always try my hardest with you to make it work, I’ll still be your friend. I promise. You won’t lose me ‘cause I need you in my life. I gotta keep my end up for the custody of the Playstation, right?”

A smile breaks over his face from his joke, but still. Radio silence.  

“Can you at least say something?” he begs.

After a few minutes, realizing he needs to probably give you more time to be left alone, he departs and heads to the party.

Originally, you actually were planning on attending the party to see Yangyang to make-up with him.

Unfortunately, out of all the days you had to take a late afternoon nap, it had to be today.

And you overslept. Big time. 

At 10:55PM, you scramble awake, realizing you’re absolutely late to the event. Since the party’s downtown, you know calling an Uber or Lyft there would be fast, but tonight’s the worst night for any share riding service and there aren’t any available drivers. Thus, you have to manage with busing there.

It’s 11:40PM when you finally reach downtown, but the bus can’t take you all the way to the core centre where the party is; hordes of people are out on the streets and traffic is dreadful. God, you’re going to be cutting it close to midnight, but you make a run for it.

You’re grateful the party is on the second floor of a small building because you slide in right through the entrance at 11:58PM. You rush to call Yangyang’s phone, hoping he’ll pick up as you try to find him in the scattered groups of people.

You begin to holler for him in hopes he can hear you, but the countdown is happening, drowning out your voice. Thirty seconds left until the clock strikes for the new year.

When his number finally goes to voicemail, you redial his number. Suddenly, a hand grasps you by the wrist.

Yangyang looks at you, dumbfounded.

“When did you get here?”  

The harmonious chanting around you floods your surroundings.

“Ten, nine, eight...”

Getting closer to him, you practically scream into Yangyang’s face, trusting he’ll hear what you’re about to say.

“I know Christmas is over, but I want to change my wish.”

“Seven, six, five...”

“I know you might not feel the same and I know things might not work out.”

“Four, three, two...”

”But I wish to date you past New Year’s until whenever, however long we last.”

“One...”

“I love you, Yangyang—”

The one you love snatches you by the waist and your cheek, stealing your lips at the last millisecond before midnight.

“Happy New Year!”

A wave of noisemakers, clappers, and hollering erupt around the room. After it dies down a bit, Yangyang shocks you with a scolding.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came over?!”

Confusion rushes over you. You realize he probably came by when you were sleeping. 

“You came over?!”

“Yeah, I confessed my love for you.”

“Wait,” you blink blankly, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Your love?”

“Yeah,” he nods, giving you his cheesy, adorable smile.  “I love you.”

“As more than a friend?” you clarify.

“Babe,” Yangyang’s thumb caresses your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever go back to wanting less with you.”

Your lips tremble with relief as your gaze melts in his.

“And, anyway, who else am I going to share the Playstation with?”

“Well, I mean, you do have Hendery, Xiaojun, Winwin...” you start to count his infinite list of friends on your fingers.  

“Yeah, but I need you so I can constantly beat your cute little butt at games.”

“You do not constantly beat my cute little butt at games, I’ll have you know that I beat you at—”  

Yangyang shuts you up with another kiss, the one of many for the rest of the night.

JANUARY 2nd

It’s your second morning at Yangyang’s place. You’ve only done it a few times now, but you realize that waking up in his arms is one of the greatest feelings in the world, second only to his kisses.  

In his bed, spooning you from behind, he grumbles into the nape of your neck, “Morning, girlfriend.”  

Half-awake, you mumble back, “Morning, boyfriend,” and sink deeper into the curve of his body.

Content, you finally broke your string of cursed holiday break-ups for good.  

And all it took was to be with the one who was in front of you all this time.