#also his and tks relationship is making emotional

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

my favourite thing to happen in lone star so far is them calling bullshit on how chimney managed to get back to work so quick after the whole rebar thing

[buddierecs]

sexuality realisation buddie fics

aka sexuality crisis fics. this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

the definition of love and all things ineffable by: elvensorceress "In which buck processes his breakup, learns his place in his family, has a huge crisis of sexuality, and finds the truth about love beating in his own heart." word count: 29k rating: teen and up important tags: friends to lovers, mutual pining, getting together, idiots in love, buckley-diaz family, mild sexual content eddie diaz vs the feelings by: elvensorceress "eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend." word count: 63k rating: explicit important tags: friends to lovers, demisexuality, asexuality, angst, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, slow burn, mutual pining, anal sex, hand jobs courtship behaviours of southern coastal husbros by: mad_lori "buck and eddie decide to become platonic domestic partners and co-parents. they are 100% super normal about it and absolutely nothing is awakened in them, except a mutual annoyance at being referred to as "husbros." word count: 49k rating: explicit important tags: domestic partners, friends to lovers, slow burn, friends with benefits, demisexuality, fluid sexuality, fluff, eventual smut, oral sex help me to help myself by: woodchoc_magnum "in which eddie slowly figures out who he really is in the aftermath of his breakdown." word count: 26k rating: mature important tags: angst, depression, mental breakdown, pining, getting together, team as family, soft!buddie darker days, brighter endings by: farfromstars "a fic on eddie’s recovery after 4x14." word count: 44k rating: teen and up important tags: injury recovery, ptsd, panic attacks, therapy, minor eddie/ana, minor buck/taylor, pining, friends to lovers, getting together let's hear it for the boy by: hattalove "in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order." word count: 56k rating: teen and up important tags: queer themes, self-discovery, friends to lovers, coming out, getting together, queer awakening, pining, gay disaster!eddie diaz tell me about despair by: hattalove "the entity often affectionately referred to as the unrepression fic" word count: 148k rating: mature important tags: character study, angst, ptsd, therapy, communication, queer awakening, friends to lovers remember me, love (when i'm reborn) by: kwills "eddie has a sexuality crisis, and it's nothing like buck described it. it's not freedom. it's hell. but maybe not forever" word count: 12k rating: teen and up important tags: internalised homophobia, catholic guilt, angst, coming out, minor buck/tommy, getting together, feelings realization you still make sense to me by: farfromthstars "eddie is ready for a new relationship – but why does it never feel right? buck has a lot to work through, and doing that comes with a few realizations." word count: 31k rating: mature important tags: asexuality spectrum, therapy, coming out, mutual pining, idiots in love, mild sexual content i bet my hand fits right in your hands by: blob_blob "after they leave texas, buck has a sexuality crisis in TKs dms, and also when eddie asks who he's texting he panics and makes up an entire girlfriend to avoid admitting to eddie that he's having a sexuality crisis" word count: 7.5k rating: teen and up important tags: fluff, light angst, coming out, texting oh, how could i have been so wrong by: prettyboybuckley "buck figures out his sexuality at the age of 30" word count: 7k rating: mature important tags: self-discovery, love confessions, jealous!eddie diaz, first kiss, hand jobs

[vitaminkyeom]

i was thinking what if the s/o of one of the members ( you choose who :D ) was sat next tk their group during the MAMA awards and how both groups would try get you too to sit next to each other and interact, knowing the relationship isnt public yet :)

PAIRING || Jihoon x Female Reader

GENRES || Fluff, Idol!Jihoon, Idol!Reader

WARNINGS || mentions of killing (as a joke)

WORD COUNT || 1.0k

A/N || hi anon! i hope you like this timestamp. it was really fun to write and the first person that came to my mind when i saw your request was jihoon and totally not because im going through a ruby brainrot. but yeah it was fun writing about down bad jihoon on the verge of strangling seventeen. requests are open !!!

TAGLIST || ​@romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 @cecedrake2217 @candidupped @ashkuuuu @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @sea-moon-star @thepoopdokyeomtouched @amethyistheart @mnstxmnbb [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

[23:09]

did jihoon like, no love, sitting next to you? yes, absolutely. especially when you were looking so drop dead gorgeous in your outfit, making it hard for him to concentrate on what was going on stage and to not steal glances at you continuously. 

but did he like the fact that his members and your members had on purpose saved the two of you seats right next to each other when they had learnt that the two groups would be sitting next to each other? of course not.

on any other day he would have been thrilled to be able to sit next you, to hold your hands as he tried not to laugh at some lame joke you had made. 

but now, during an award show, especially mama, he was not at all happy about it. especially when he had to pretend like he was not at all affected by you. he thought he was a master in controlling his emotions but turns out that all his placidness could easily be crumbled by you.

“hi.” you whispered a bit awkwardly, smiling at him in an apologetic manner, clearly embarrassed by your own members too. 

oh, pearls looked great on your hair. maybe he should gift you a pearl hairband the next time-

“hi.” he said, remembering that he had to greet you back. he could already feel his cheeks heating up from the way you were looking at him, and he immediately turned his attention back on to the stage, not wanting to embroil the two of you in a scandal. 

“you look really handsome, by the way.” 

shit. 

glaring once at junhui (who was sitting right next to him) for snickering in the rather obvious way, he reached out for the water bottle. taking in a sip, he prayed for his heart rate to slow down, hammering away in his chest because of your compliment.

jihoon dearly wished it was him who had complimented you first because it was you who looked so, so beautiful and elegant and pretty. had it been the usual dinner dates the two of you always managed to squeeze in between your tight schedule, he was sure he would have been staring at you the whole time and probably be putting in empty spoons into his mouth. 

in fact, had you been sitting anywhere else, it would have been easier for him to steal glances at you (he thinks).

but right now he was just so flustered by the situation that he could not even think straight. not only was he controlling the urge to strangle his members who had for some reason (now it was very obvious to jihoon as to what the reason was) had run to catch seats before he did but he also was dying to not blurt out right in front of the cameras about how pretty you are. (though he was pretty sure that by now if anyone were to pan the camera in his way, anyone with a pair of eyes could see the awkwardness between the two of you).

“um, you too.” he muttered, exhaling hard. to his surprise, he heard you giggle, causing him to look at you in surprise. 

“sorry, it’s just that…you’re really cute when you’re flustered, you know.” you smiled at him, and for a second, he nearly forgot that he was out in public and that he had to control his emotions.

“oh my god, i don’t think i’ve seen jihoon this lovesick before.” soonyoung said, snapping him back to the present. 

“guys, i’m going to kill you.”

“you threaten to kill us everyday.” mingyu complained, earning another giggle from you. did your giggles always sound this cute?

“i do not.”

“yeah, he does not!” you argued back, with a fake glare. jihoon always loved how his members and you got along so well but right now, he felt like his heart was going to burst with love for you. “jihoon is an absolute sweetheart!”

“um, babe, i would really appreciate it if you didn’t compliment me so much right now…since we are in public.” he muttered, looking down in an attempt to cool down his heated cheeks. 

“oh my- oh my. is jihoon blushing?” seungkwan asked and by now, jihoon had abandoned all his plans on killing his members and instead resorted to hoping the ground would just swallow him up as a whole. 

“ooh, now even the camera is on the two of you!” one of your members, joohyun, snickered. 

“you wish.” you said. “it’s on all of us. watch the headlines talk about how close we are with seventeen.”

“is that so?” jeonghan asked and to jihoon’s horror, he could see the cogs in his brain literally moving. “then everyone shut up so that only jihoon and y/n are on camera, okay? but just keep egging them on to get them to interact.”

“respect our privacy please.” jihoon glared, but all he got was his beloved members laughing. grumbling, he turned his attention back to the stage, hoping they would soon get tired of it. 

they did stop with the teasing after some time, but the effect of their previous teasing was still lasting. jihoon could still feel his cheeks blazing from before, his heart going at a hundred kilometres per hour. 

and as when he went to receive an award and saw you cheer louder than anyone in the crowd, he felt a sudden surge of love for you. because he was dating you. you, who was a goddess in his eyes. you, who loved him so, so much. him and you, who the members supported so much and he was always grateful to them. you, whom he loved and treasured so much but sans few, no one else knew.

and as he walked back to his seat and was greeted by your beaming, proud face, jihoon suddenly had a thought. maybe, maybe it was a good thing your relationship wasn’t public yet. 

because there was certainly a thrill knowing what was the real reason for tomorrow's headlines of his group and your group being close.

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

[love-bitesx]

HII!!! how are you?? i love your writing so much‼️‼️ i have an actual question and then a request for fic or yk what i mean?

the question is do you take anons? like emoji anons so like you know whos who while stillmbeing able tl be anonymous? if you do could i be one? and if i can be an emoji anon could i be 🪐? (im just writing all this on one ask so it wont be a hassle yk?)

and as for the request i was wondering if you could write hobie with a fem reader (can be gender neutral idc) who love’s physical touch but has sensory issues/overloads where sometimes even when like just holding hands they random tuck their hand away and get annoyed or irritated from all kinds of physical touch but still love it? idk how to explain it all that well😓😓 like the reader’s love language is physical touch but they dont ask for it and mostly think they dont deserve it due to being touch starved and now that hobie came along they love the touch but the sensory issues/overloads make it harder??

im so sorry if this is confusing🙏🏼🙏🏼 also you dint have tk write this if you dont want to its completely understandable!! love your work sm‼️

take care🫶🏼

HIII IM SORRY THIS GOT LOST COMPLETELY, HI 🪐 ANON ILY !! i absolutely will take emoji anons i love all my little anon/requesters ur all angels

sensory issues r icky!!! i struggle with them massively, especially in relationships – i get it!! this is a safe space for anything like that, and any neurodivergent readers/requesters!! i love u all

hobie x reader w sensory issues!!

- initially, he’d be defensive about it

- as in the very first time you denied his touch, purely because he’d be convinced you’re mad at him.

wringing your wrists, you breathed a shaky sigh of relief as peace restored itself in your head, sitting yourself down on your sofa, letting yourself relax. it’d been a tough day, with even tougher emotions, and your chest burnt with tension, skin crawling at the feeling of your jumper against it. movement sounded somewhere in the apartment, but you ignored it, just allowing yourself a moment of peace.

until, you felt a hand slide itself into yours, the sofa dipping in weight as hobie threw himself next to you. a conflicted wave of emotions hit you, immediate comfort filling your chest at the feeling of your dear boyfriends touch after a long day – but your skin surged with irritation, brain overwhelming itself with noise, causing you to rip your hand away.

“darlin’?” hobie’s voice was small, concern lacing it’s words.

“i-i just need to be alone, hobie,” you avoided his gaze, pushing yourself up off the sofa and heading to your room. he followed, not unlike a lost puppy, wracking his brain to see if maybe he’d upset you.

“did i do somethin’, y/n?” his tone was sterner, almost defensive.

“no, no, i just–” you sighed, hands shaking slightly as you attempted to surprise the growing annoyance in your chest, “i just need a little space, i need to be on my own right now.”

- he would take your words completely differently, thinking you meant space from him

- but once you explained that it wasn’t him specifically, purely just your brain deciding that hey! now everything suddenly feels disgusting and fills you with ungodly rage, he was a lot more considerate & understanding.

- took him a little while, purely because he was obsessed with your touch, literally drunk off it most days.

- his natural stance was with you, leant against you or arm suspended over your shoulders, so it took him some time to get used to that not happening occasionally.

- he’d learn little ways to ask you if it’s okay

- mostly, he would just outright ask “a’right if i touch you, pretty?” and wait for your answer patiently

- but if you’re out and about, or maybe with others, and he can see that you’re overwhelmed and possibly even verbally shutdown, he had a little routine:

- he’d be subtle with it, tapping his own knee or a subtle wave to catch your eyeline, and once you were watching, he’d interlock his own hands, a questioning look in his eye.

- if you nodded, he’d be all over you, content with the feeling of you

- if you shook your head, or averted his gaze, he’d simply smile, and wait patiently for you to come to him

- more than anything, he just wants to learn from you – learn what you like, what you don’t like, how he can help when you’re overwhelmed, if he even can, etc.

- he’d be sooooo patient my god

- he’d literally wait for hours, even longer if it meant you would be comfortable and happy

he’s just happy to have u by his side and call you his!! he doesn’t mind if he can’t touch you all the time, and he never takes any outbursts or bad moods to heart, he understands it’s hard for you

if other people weren’t as understanding, though — maybe friends draping themselves over you, hugging you, nudging you, etc. when your sensory issues were more prevalent, he’d be the first one to your defense

bonus:

if you had verbal shutdown, he’d carry around a little notepad in his pockets at all times, even when you’re not around (he just got used to carrying it). he likes seeing the little drawings and doodles you do, little kisses you put on the page for him when you can’t express it yourself physically, or verbally.

he just loves u a lot.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: “You don’t know me!” - 7x5

In 2x8, Buck told a woman, “You don’t even know me!” and according to the script for episode 5 in season 7, the title of it will be almost an exact match since it's "You don’t know me!” and it appears to be a callback to his comment.

Since it's possible some may not have watched 2x8 Buck Actually in a while, here’s a quick reminder of the conversation Buck had with Bobby.  They were discussing TK and how Buck hooked up with her in a bar restroom but Buck told him that since he had finally let go of AC, he thought she had changed him 🙄. Then he proceeded to say he had only been single for like a day and he was back to basically being Buck 1.0. When they entered the gas station, Buck kept talking to Bobby about how he was thinking about calling TK but he didn’t want her to think he was only after one thing.  While Hen was treating the woman robber victim, she overheard Buck talking and commented, “You are only after one thing.  Jerk!”.  Buck responded, “You don’t even know me!” and she replied, “You’re a man, I know enough!”

Why is this important?

It’s important because the theme of “You don’t know me” has been applied to Buck with regards to every hookup or so-called “relationship” he’s had with different women on the show.  Let’s be real for a minute because the truth is none of them AC, AM, TK, ND, Dr. Wells nor the two women he hooked up with in season 1 knew him either.  Also, the woman who made the comment was a random victim who overheard Buck talking for less than a minute and she thought she knew Buck just because he’s a man. It was implied that all men want to do is hookup and leave like he did with TK but Buck has been and continues to search for the love of his life. The conversation he had with her connects to the one he had with Eddie in 6x15 while they were standing in the cemetery.

Buck said, “I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck… mostly for the sake of everyone else” and Eddie responded, “You don’t have to be anything for anybody”.

IMO, their comments were being made directly to the audience and they were for the people who, after six seasons still want to keep seeing Buck do the same thing over and over again (I know it’s hard to believe but trust and believe there are people in the GA and in the 9-1-1 fandom who want to keep Buck on the hamster wheel and I think it’s because they DON’T WANT HIM TO BE WITH EDDIE).  These are the viewers who would rather he keep randomly hooking up with people (it could be anybody and it doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, nonsensical, illogical, random or whatever/whomever just as long as they can see him hookup with another guy or another random love interest) instead of him finally accepting the love that him and Eddie effortlessly share with one another.  I’ve said this many times, Buck and Eddie are in love with each other, they’re soulmates (post linked here) and they share a once in a lifetime love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.  They have a deep, emotional and intimate connection that’s not superficial and it’s not based on a hookup.  They have an EPIC love story that deserves to be told without any more distractions or the addition of one-dimensional love interests.  It’s not platonic, it’s romantic and if they do go CANON, it will make for groundbreaking television.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

After the title for 7x5 was released a few weeks ago, I completed a post about how Connor really doesn’t know Buck the way he said he does in 6x4 (linked here) and I stand by everything I included in it.  However, this post is in addition to that one and it includes the details about how all the women Buck dated didn’t know him either.

In 1x1, the first woman Buck was shown hooking up with in the firetruck told him to his face that she didn’t want to get to know him.  He asked her for her number and she replied, “You’re cute and you’re very good at whatever it is we just did but let’s not ruin it by getting to know each other.” She didn't want to get to know him and the look on his face showed he wanted more but she didn't so he moved on to the next one.

Dr. Wells was the LAFD’s trauma therapist and SHE TRIED TO BEFRIEND Buck on Facebook before he ever entered her office.  She knew the day would come when he would need therapy and when he asked her if she sent him a friend request, she told him he should delete it but then they ended up having sex.  It was played off like a joke but that’s not what it was because she was in a position of power and as a licensed therapist, she should have been charged because it’s against the law for that to happen. IMO, since Buck didn't know any better, as his captain, Bobby should have reported her. She wasn't mentioned again until 3x9 when Buck, Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were sitting in the loft at the firehouse and all Bobby said was "She's no longer with the department". That wasn't enough and she took advantage of him. Trust and believe the situation would have ended differently if the roles had been reversed.

AC wasn’t any different because after Buck stood by her and helped her after her mom died, he was being catfished by a man and several women were after him because of that guy's lies. After a woman threw a drink in his face, he said to her, “You know me right? Come on” and she replied, “I don’t even know who I am right now. But I definitely don’t feel like I know who you are right now.” She ended up ghosting him and abandoning him while he waited for her for months.

When she returned two years later, she didn't even apologize to him.

AM didn’t know Buck either and don’t get sidetracked by the fact that she called him Evan sometimes.  It was proven she didn’t know who he is when she said, “I know it’s who you are” after he said, “You want me to quit my job”.  Well, being a firefighter is NOT who Buck is, it’s what he does but she clearly saw him as a hot firefighter just like AC did and was looking for a good time. Please remember she didn't have a problem leaving him because of it.

TK didn’t know Buck at all and for everyone who thinks just because they were having sex and living together, that doesn’t mean anything because after meeting four years earlier, TK still had no idea who Buck was before it was over and she didn’t care.  If she had known him then she wouldn’t have betrayed his trust.  Also, he did cheat on her which made the situation worse but neither of them wanted to admit they weren’t supposed to be together and they clung instead of just ending it.  When he got ready to break up with her, she didn't try to see his side of it, she just stuck to her immoral ideals and wanted him to be ok with her running with the Jonah story.  Instead of saying, “I understand and I apologize” she said, “You knew who I was when we started dating” and he replied, “I guess I thought I could learn to live with it”.  She made it all about her the same way Buck makes everything about himself. They were two self-centered people with tragic childhoods in a trainwreck relationship and it shouldn’t have ever happened. It's still interesting that Buck ended up in a relationship with her after everything she did to Bobby and the 118 four years earlier (related post linked here and here).

ND fangirled over Buck and was so enthralled by his death but when she found out he had a full life, she did judge him.  He said, “I know this is something that’s easy to judge” but even though she said that him being a sperm donor was a kind gesture or whatever, she left because she couldn't handle his full life. Granted she was a death doula but her actions weren't professional and it would have been better if she would have helped him deal with his death. Her return should have ended with Buck saying "No thanks" and sending her on her way but of course he was shoved into another lackluster one dimensional relationship. Also, them telling each other, “I like you” was very high school like🙄.

Please understand, I don't like TK but in 4x8 she said, "You just can't stand the idea of someone not liking you" and she was right. Buck works hard to make people like him and it's very reminiscent of the way he's been trying to get his parents to love him anyway. He needs therapy.

It seems like he's still doing it and the words Bobby spoke in 6x11 during his coma dream had no effect since he still cares about how people see him. He hasn't learned anything yet but hopefully he will in season 7.

Eddie Diaz is the ONLY person on the show who KNOWS and SEES Buck and the video above includes several snippets from different episodes to prove it.

Eddie knows him at his core. He knows when to call him on his BS, he recognizes when Buck makes things about himself and he knows when he's trying to fix things instead of understanding it's not always his job to fix them.

Maddie is Buck's sister but she still sees Evan (post linked here) her little brother but Eddie knows Buck and after they become a CANON couple, he’ll know Buck even more. 

While I’m not sure who’s going to say, “You don’t know me” in 7x5 or if it will be said at all, I do believe Buck might say it again and if he does, it will be a callback to 2x8. Also, 6x15 could be included in it since Buck might not be trying to be the "same old Buck" anymore and hopefully it will be enough for the naysayers to understand he's not the same person. IMO, I still think it’s something he will say to Connor especially since the sperm donor arc is supposed to return and OS said in an interview it won’t be revisited before the first 5 episodes.  Hopefully, Buck will finally realize the people he thought knew him really don’t including Connor.

Is it possible Eddie could say it to M, maybe but I don’t know because IMO that doesn’t sound like something he would say to anyone.  But he is all therapized now and he’s supposed to be joking or whatever this season so who knows.

The point of this post is to illustrate how Buck said, “You don’t even know me” in 2x8 and apparently, it’s going to be a callback in 7x5 but the question is, if he does say it, who’s he going to say it to? 👀 

[paperstorm]

The argument/make-up in 2x04 is really one of my favourite Tarlos stories because I just love when conflict in fiction is the direct result of two people’s individual traumas bumping up against each other, rather than someone being a villain.

Both of them in this episode are coming from a place of having a large trauma in their past that the other doesn’t know all the details of. Carlos hasn’t told TK anything, at this point, about how his coming out went and how much pain he is in every single day because he feels like his parents don’t fully accept him being gay. He avoids the topic of his parents at Owen’s party when TK brings it up because he’s in a honeymoon phase with TK and he’s never had that before with anyone. He believes – like he says at the end when they make up – that he might never be able to have a real relationship. And he does likely know that at some point they’ll have to discuss his parents but he has never been as happy with anyone as he is with TK (insert season four context of he felt broken until the day they met) and he isn’t ready just yet for the dreamy bubble they’re in to be burst by reality.

So he deflects, in what will become a signature personality trait of Carlos’s – chronic avoidance and making jokes to get out of conversations he isn't ready to have. And then by accident they run into Gabriel and Andrea, and Carlos, still not ready to do this, panics and introduces TK as his friend. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but trauma, so he acts like he doesn’t understand why TK is upset and he makes a joke out of it. He’s been anxious this whole time about how TK, who is so out and loud and proud, is going to react when he finds out Carlos is still half in the closet, and this is the very reaction he was so afraid of and why he avoided it for so long.

None of it is done with malintent, it’s all self-preservation and learned coping mechanisms from things in his past that have left such deep scars, but TK doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

TK, meanwhile, is still pretty fresh off of getting his heart broken so badly that he tried to kill himself. He went to Austin in a truly horrendous state of pain and trauma and heartache. He wasn’t planning on meeting his soulmate so soon, he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because of how much his heart was still in tatters, which is why we get him being so wishy-washy in season one. By early season two he’s also very much in that honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean his wounds are fully healed yet. He asks Carlos about his parents, it feels implied in the party scene that it isn’t the first time he’s asking about them. He’s given Carlos the opportunity to have the conversation that they need to have, but Carlos has changed the subject.

Then they run into them. TK is so happy to meet them, and then so instantly crushed when Carlos introduces him as a friend. He’s upset all the way home, and Carlos – for reasons TK doesn’t understand yet – is acting like it’s not a big deal. TK storms out because that’s how he copes with things at this stage in his emotional development, and leaves some hurtful words for Carlos as a parting gift. Not a mature way to handle things, but in a later scene with Owen and Gwyn it’s revealed how hurt TK really is. “I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him,” TK says, all dejected. “Maybe he did. Maybe we are just friends.” Because Alex also told TK "I love you", and then cheated on him. TK’s lingering Alex trauma bubbles back up; fuck not again, not another man who says ‘I love you’ to my face but then hides me and doesn’t really want forever with me, even though that isn’t really what’s happening with Carlos.

If it wasn’t for Alex, TK probably wouldn’t have been half as upset by any of this and would have been more receptive to hearing an explanation, but Carlos doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

It’s just such good conflict. They’re both right, and they’re both wrong. They’re both operating from places of extreme hurt that isn’t the other person’s fault, and they’re both operating from places of not understanding the extent of what the other is going through. And in the scene where they make up you can see how much love there is and how much they both really want to understand the other better. It’s such a beautiful way to love someone, to say to each other “let me meet you where you are and love you the way you need to be loved, even if it’s different from how I need to be loved.”

[tellmegoodbye]

A not-so-brief analysis of Carlos and Gabriel's relationship and Carlos' decision to join the Texas Rangers.

We know Carlos is going to join the Rangers, and we also know that season 5 is going to dive into the emotional significance of this choice. This article touches on that, but I wanted to do a bit more of an in-depth analysis of this choice for Carlos and how it relates to his relationship with Gabriel.

Thank you @herefortarlos for reading this over for me and making sure my rambling was at least somewhat coherent!

First, let's take a look at how Carlos feels about other roles, and whether or not they would be something that he would want.

When Carlos was first offered the opportunity to take the detective's exam, he didn't immediately say no. In fact, his face lit up at the idea. It's something that caters to a specific ability that he has, and it's clearly something he considers before eventually deciding against it. Is it an easy decision? No. That much is obvious in the way he tells Grace that he's not a detective in 3x11.

Clearly, he wants to be the person who solves the cases. He wants to have more of an impact than simply just being there for someone's worst moments. He wants to do more to make these moments easier. He wants to find answers and provide closure, and doing so gives him the kind of purpose that he's been looking for. We can see that when he's praised by Detective Washington and Athena. We see that when he brings Katie back to her parents and when he helps Grace seek justice for Lexi.

Still, he turns down the idea of becoming a detective. He's nonchalant in his explanation to Detective Washington. He tells her it's because he wants to be in the moment, stopping problems before they start. And this is true! Carlos is someone who craves control. He would rather be the person who stops the abusive partner from hurting his girlfriend in 2x05, who saves the girl trapped in her food truck in 2x02, instead of the person who has to go inform the families of their deaths. He can't be a comforting presence in those scenarios.

Slowly, I think Carlos begins to see that he can make an impact in many different ways. That there's still value in picking up the pieces after damage has been done, because the lives of everyone involved do not stop after a trauma. Now, Carlos not only sees the value in this, but he also learns that he is someone who has a talent and a drive for it. He has a desire to make things right in any way that he can. However, as much as he clearly loves the idea of allowing himself to thrive in his career, to be the person who solves the case and brings peace and closure to people, he still can't get past the powerlessness he'll feel when he comes across a case that he can't solve, or a problem that he can't fix in time.

A lot of these reservations could definitely translate to the Rangers, but there's something deeper there than what he was able to express at the time. Something that made him have a very immediate, negative reaction, as opposed to remaining a patrol officer or becoming a detective.

Part of it is exactly what he expressed, but history is not the only factor at play here. It's not what sets this role apart from the others. Part of it is his freedom within his role, the ability to be proactive, instead of reactive, but another major factor that he's probably somewhat aware of, but just couldn't express in front of Gabriel, is that the main difference when it comes to the Rangers is that he would be working with his dad. I'm not positive of how the hierarchy works but even if he wasn't officially working under Gabriel, he would still be a hovering presence. Having Gabriel within his vicinity feels like a loss of freedom for Carlos in its own way.

It's not just about working with Gabriel either. It's about what Gabriel represents to Carlos. He trusts his judgement, this is evident in the way Carlos tries to calm TK down in 2x12. He knows Gabriel will do his due diligence and that he won't settle for the easy answers, which lied with Owen as a suspect at the time. Carlos knows his dad does his job well, but he doesn't see him as someone who actively strives towards something better. He saw mostly indifference throughout his childhood, and this significantly impacted his perception of Gabriel.

gif by me

We know a slightly different view of Gabriel from Andrea. She saw all of the parts of him that he tried to hide from the rest of the world. She's the one he shared his innermost feelings with. Andrea knows, and tells us, that Gabriel cared a lot about leaving things better off than they were when he got there. But that picture causes dissonance for Carlos when for most of his life, he knew the version of Gabriel who struggled with his coming out. Who wasn't able to take the steps to reassure him. Who never learned to have conversations about his feelings instead of shutting them down. In his job, Gabriel wanted to change the cycle, but at home, he couldn't. The cycle of repressed feelings continued through Carlos, and it left him with a lot of trauma.

Carlos has gotten to a point where he has confidence in himself. He feels comfortable standing on his own two feet and making tough decisions on the job, but when Gabriel is around, it's a different story. I doubt he would have been able to make the decisions he did in Bad Call if Gabriel had been there from the start. He knew he could trust his instincts, but when Gabriel came in to question him, Carlos began to question himself. All of that self-doubt that came with years of wanting to be good enough for his father came bubbling up to the surface.

Looking back on how much tension came from working with Gabriel then, Carlos doesn't want to go back there. He doesn't want to feel like that again when he and Gabriel have spent all this time mending their relationship. He doesn't want to comprise everything that he wants to be in favor of working under Gabriel's expectations.

Now, let's take a look at the complexities of Carlos and Gabriel's relationship. We know his role with the Rangers contributed significantly to how Carlos viewed the job as a whole, but this story isn't just about a job. Their careers are only a vehicle for them to better understand themselves and their relationship.

We know they started the reconciliation process after this episode, but it seems they only started to scratch the surface of all of the conversations that needed to be had between them. In 4x12 Carlos says he only just started a relationship with him, and has a clear desire to build on that. However, when we get to 4x17 the pain in his eyes reflects something that he hasn't yet received closure for.

This scene does so much more than introduce the idea of Carlos joining the Rangers. For the first time, we're not just seeing Gabriel through Carlos' eyes. We're not just seeing Carlos struggling with feeling inadequate in his father's eyes. We see two individuals who love each other, but who both harbor a lot of shame towards themselves. We see two people who are afraid they aren't good enough in each other's eyes. We can hear Gabriel's pain just as much as we hear Carlos' when he asks him how long he's been ashamed of him.

The shame Gabriel feels in himself isn't a product of his career, but of the mistakes he made as a father and the fear he still struggles to express. He can see how all of this has affected Carlos. We've seen, and will continue to see Carlos' journey with learning who Gabriel was as a person, outside of his role as his father. And in turn, Carlos will hopefully come to learn more about all of the feelings Gabriel had that he failed to express to him. Starting with his feelings towards Carlos' ability to do his job.

Clearly, Gabriel knows Carlos is competent. He's practically glowing when he offers Carlos the position with the Rangers, but has he always felt this way? Well, it's complicated.

Carlos says that he thinks Gabriel saw him as being too soft. There very well could be some truth here. As much as Gabriel and Andrea love their son, his coming out would not have completely changed their thinking overnight. It took time for them to rewire their brains, for Gabriel in particular to erase previously held ideas of masculinity and understand Carlos as a person. Having said that, this is again only one factor.

Gabriel looks at Carlos not with judgement, but with reflection. He sees much more of himself in Carlos than he would care to admit, and that's why the main thing he would have felt upon learning of his career choice would be fear. He's scared, and that's not an emotion he's comfortable outwardly expressing, so Carlos only sees the way he tries to rationalize his fear. He doesn't see what Gabriel sees when he looks at him, which is someone who is driven, passionate, and someone who will sacrifice himself for others. The last thing Gabriel wants is to watch Carlos repeat the mistakes he made and put himself at risk by being stubborn like him. To close himself off emotionally just like he did.

We see all of this come to a head in 4x04 when Gabriel is weirdly calm. He falls back on habits that are necessary for his survival, and for Carlos'. And we can see that he's obviously been mentally preparing himself for this moment ever since the day Carlos told him he was going to become a police officer.

Learning this about Gabriel will offer a lot of closure for Carlos, because when I see the frustration and anger on his face in 4x17, I see more than surface level reservations about this specific role. I see the kid who desperately wants to ask his father "Why now? Why are you proud of me now? Why did I have to wait so many years for you to have confidence and pride in me? Why are you asking me to come work with you when you didn't even believe I could do my job two years ago, when you didn't support me or defend me, when you never trusted that I had the ability to make the right decisions in the field? How do you expect me to work in an environment where my instincts and opinions aren't respected?"

And I wish Gabriel could have gotten the chance to answer these questions. To show him that his idea of what it means to do good is more in tune with Carlos' than he ever knew. To have a conversation about his own shortcomings and mistakes that he made as a father, to apologize for all of those years of walls he built between them, for the time it took for him to become more comfortable in his own emotions.

Gabriel was slowly learning to be more open and honest, to allow himself to feel emotions like fear, like sadness, and anything else he's spent nearly his entire life bottling up. If there was one conversation he absolutely needed to have with Carlos, it's this. The most important lesson he had to learn, which was that emotional maturity and masculinity go hand in hand. Having emotions doesn’t make you incompetent, and it's what you do with those emotions that make you a more functional person.

Or, in Owen's words, "There should be a heart behind that shield."

This is a lesson Carlos is still learning too. Even without his dad, he's going to have to learn to be comfortable in the absence of control. He's going to have to learn how to let go, to grieve even if he doesn't have answers or justice. He will grow as a person, and he will find solace in that feeling of the unknown that he's been fighting against for so long. It's with this obsession, this determination that he will come to realize he does not have to be the end all be all for every problem. That he is allowed to be imperfect and make mistakes, that he can be human and still do amazing things in any role he chooses.

We lost Gabriel far too soon after he made this discovery for himself. That's part of the tragedy. But Carlos is still here, and he will grow in ways his father never got the chance to. That is one of the many ways that he'll honor his memory.

He's going to learn a lot about himself in season 5, and along the way he will also learn a lot about his father. In the end I think he's going to find his own version of closure when it comes to their relationship. He'll find the answers he's looking for in terms of Gabriel's murder, and in terms of what Gabriel saw when he looked at him. Which is, and always was, pride. Even if he struggled to show it for so long.

I don't know what exactly his journey is going to look like, but one thing I do know is that Carlos is going to grow and become more comfortable in his own skin than he ever has been before. And that's the most important thing at the end of the day.

[stormblessed95]

Since you haven’t been here in a while, what are your thoughts on taekook’s dynamics now? I read your post from 2021 where you mentioned that you don’t think taekook have a deep emotional connection and I recently thought about it because I saw another Jikook blogger mention that too and explained in detail why they thought so and I agreed with them even though I hadn’t really thought about it that way before so I would love to know how you perceive taekook’s dynamic in general now.

My post from 2021 for anyone who wants a refresher or hasn't seen it:

Anon, Idk if you've seen this post as well, but I address Taekook getting closer again in more recent years here too

This post covers where I talk about how close taekook was in the early years and why they are such a huge ship imo

I PROMISE I'm not trying to just not answer this. My opinions just honestly haven't really changed that much? My posts were from after ITS and after taekook started making strides in their relationship and being closer and better friends again. I love seeing it. I still don't see that emotional connection that is as deep as it is as they individually have with other members or outside the group friends too. I think taekook aren't the friends that are going to be having emotional/deep/soul searching conversations with each other. I don't think they are going to seek each other out in times of high emotion, positive or negative or when in distress. I think they are best buddies who act up together and have a great time. They are here for a good time not a long time kinda friends 😂😂 and we all need those friends in our lives too and they can be just as important to us.

I think we see that in the reunion hugs from Jin's military release too. That vmin reunion?? That's a friendship with a deep emotional connection

But also see the difference?

Also, check out that vhope reunion hug too? I'm not saying taekook aren't important to each other. They are so clearly important and they clearly love each other to bits and they have SO MUCH FUN. But my points in all my previous posts still stand. In terms of who they might pick to go on a wild crazy adventure or do something silly? Probably each other are great contenders. As for picking who in all the members they are closest to? Probably not each other. Even though all of BTS are their family. No one should ever be asking them to choose. Everyone's got different types of relationships within a family and friendship unit with each other. And the way those types of relationships intersect are always so beautiful.

I'd be interested to know which other blog post you mentioned too. Hope this answered your question with some satisfaction!

[heartstringsduet]

Sharing some more fic love on Valentine's. Here's my last Tarlos fic rec list with even more wonderful fic 🥰

If you want to show some love too, please comment on fics you read even if they're 'older'. I promise they make authors' days.💌 And my heart bleeds seeing how some fics get so little love. So here's my new love letter to counter that.

I Swear I Love You (Te Juro Que Te Amo) by @never-blooms S: Noche Buena takes a turn when two exes are forced to reunite. The writing is so lyrical I feel like I'm put on waves at times, gently rocking me. Characters that jump off the screen and TK and Carlos as exes having to pretend to be together still is a trope I never ever grow tired of.

balancing act by @reyesstrand S: A study of TK and Carlos sharing meals and falling in love.  My love for food is only paralleled by my love for words and this fic made me so emotional over both. Seriously can't put into words how beautiful and intricate this story is.

The Gift of You by @sprigsofviolets

S: TK Strand and Carlos Reyes have been happily married for five years. They are their own content, happy family. They weren’t looking to have kids, but when TK delivers a baby on a hard call, their family grows when they least expect it. I can't put into short words how very kind and thoughtful and in-character and heart-warming this fic is.

the square root of sixty nine by @liminalmemories21 S: Five times TK asked for consent, and one time Carlos did. So much depth in these intimate moments and also she proves consent is absolutely hot.

The Space in Between by @decafdino S: TK and Carlos are kidnapped, but they're together. A relationship study of Tarlos. It's embarrassing how much comfort I find in the constant re-read of this pretty angsty fic. But it delivers what it promises. It's a great study of their unwavering love intermixed with snippets of their pasts. The Sting by @goodways

S: Carlos is asked to help the FBI in a sting operation where he has to flirt with another man. His husband has something to say about it. Just one of her absolutely hilarious and sexy stories. Can never get over how much her dialogues sing.

Man to Man by @carlos-in-glasses S: In the aftermath of the house fire, Carlos recalls the night he came out to his parents. What can I say but that I'm obsessed with anything cig writes so I gotta praise the first fic I read of hers? Her entire expansive canon universe is outstanding.

A Helping Hand to Hold You Down by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut S: Things are not as they seem in the loft, and TK's evening will not unfold as he had planned... It's smutty and it's filled with love and it's a great great great portrayal of dom/sub exploration without it running smoothly.

Sustenance by @cinnaluminum S: TK has a rough shift and comes home to Carlos in the kitchen. Absolute mastery of tension and a lingering fight and trying to work it out. I can't stress how much I admire her writing.

come what may, I'll still stay by @strandnreyes

S: Nearly one year into their marriage and TK finds that life looks a little different these days with Carlos working as a detective. A really beautiful study of circumstances changing and growing and love persisting despite pain and grief.

(Un)professional Services by @rmd-writes and @welcometololaland S: The Tarlos Professional Services AU. Two absolutely great writers bringing us work-place fun and sexiness? Uhm, yes please! I love the dialogue, I love how the humor.

[theghostofashton]

writing patterns

thank you @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @reyesstrand for the tags!!

rules: share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns! (and also going to borrow cig's idea for the twist!)

when fate cries – TK’s heart is racing as he signs his name at the bottom of the page. He adds the date and then passes it across the table. (if you're in the mood for gymnastics, emotions, and to savor the olympics a little longer)

as if you needed a reason – He’s on leave at least until his concussion is cleared, which TK tells him should be a few weeks at the most. (if you're in the mood for 4x04 aftermath, carlos and marjan friendship, and complicated parental relationships)

brave enough – The lights are just as blinding when she wakes up for a second time. Her heart pounds and then starts to slow as she takes in the room, the nature paintings on warm-toned beige walls, soft lighting making everything feel cozy rather than the storied sterile. (if you're in the mood for 4x09 aftermath, nancy and marjan, and falling in love with your best friend)

now i wake up by your side – When Nancy suggests bringing Carlos along for the next red carpet, TK immediately shoots it down. (if you're in the mood for a you saw the truth in me sequel, discussions of fame, and what it means to control your own narrative)

gives me shelter – TK loves Valentine’s Day. (if you're in the mood for complicated feelings about valentine's day and early s2 tarlos)

we'll be just fine – TK sucks in a breath and stares out his window as his Uber driver comes to a stop outside a large building. (if you're in the mood for breakup sex and enduring love)

made up of a thousand scars – When TK leaves rehab, he doesn’t go home. (if you're in the mood for an exploration of what life looked like after those 30 days, how to forgive yourself, and what it means to be a human being)

tell me how – His mom screams every time he closes his eyes. (if you're in the mood for 4x18 aftermath and how carlos begins navigating his grief)

until we laugh again – TK can’t seem to calm down after. (if you're in the mood for an exploration of survival, in the face of overwhelming loss, and what it means to love anyway)

now and forever – Carlos feels a lot lighter once they leave the flower shop. (if you're in the mood for 4x08 aftermath and overdue reyes family conversations)

patterns: i really don't ever start with dialogue, which i didn't expect. i feel like i try to go for a punchy first line to draw people in, but that's all i'm noticing

leaving an open tag bc i'm pretty sure everyone's already done this lol

[aitadjcrazytimes]

ok so brief summary bc i need to go to work, i'll still be making a Last Post tm later today but just to summarize

c and his sister are indeed talking again, he is back to walking her down the aisle on friday and things are chill there

she told him that t and i are dating now, she did not tell him abt the blog

c texts me saying we needed to talk

i get home, he tells me he knows about t and i dating, we start arguing about how it isn't fair for him to have a problem with my dating t when he MARRIED him w/o checking in with me first (am i actually angry about this? no. but like its the principle of the thing man)

t comes home and hears us yelling, starts to intervene, realizes there isn't a point to it, starts to make mac and cheese, but eventually we get too loud so he tells us both to shut the fuck up and sort it out from separate rooms

the Emotional Vulnerability conversation happens, during which i receive a bowl of mac and cheese reward for being quiet and also so so adult and brave about it

emotional vulnerability conversation on C's end basically consists of: dude, what the fuck, like, i know im a mess, but i thought you were better than that. like. T and I have been trying to kill each other since we were kids but idk. for some reason i thought you were above that, and i mean minus the getting married thing--which i will concede was shitty--i have been trying to be less of an asshole lately (which I, TK, have actually noticed, but i thought it was a result of lack of proximity to T and not an intentional effort) and it feels shitty that i have fucked up the only not toxic relationship i have ever been in by being a dick again

conversation on my end: dude, i know you're a dick, i like you being a dick, i want you to be a dick bc you wouldn't be you otherwise. the getting married thing was shitty but only on principle bc im not actually mad about it. i dont want you to be less of an asshole, i just want you to be an asshole around me specifically. t also. we're assholes together. i would like to be assholes with both of you indefinitely. im not better than that or you bitch

then i told him about the tumblr blog and he was v upset at first but was eventually able to see the humor in it. i showed him a couple posts and he thinks it's funny that ESH is sitting solidly at 69%. he will not be posting on here or on the AITA blog because he thinks that would be annoying (i agree).

i did also bring up the poly thing again and he said he thinks it's more fun to say we're monogamous and just be cheating on each other all the time--which just seems like poly with a cheating kink to me, but whatever man, you do you.

[the-shark-well]

Do you perchance have any Triple Threat headcanons you’d be willing to share….

you bet I do !!! and sorry this took me a second to answer I don't often think about these three enough . which is a shame because they make me normal

These are all scrambled thoughts so I'm . very sorry if it comes off as utter nonsense . there's a lot going on in my timeline it's hard to boil it down , really . also I applied headcanons for the "canon ending" of my timeline , which is Toppat King , so you're getting romantic triple threat , hope that's okay !

for reference: Henry uses they/it , Ellie she/her , and Charles he/him

- due to Henry's future sight and being caught in a timeloop with the help of Liaf , they feel very disconnected from others for a long time

- Ellie is able to see into their head through telepathy , so the two kinda accidentally develop an extremely powerful and eldritch bond even through the barrier of a timeloop . Ellie will always know Henry better than Henry perhaps knows itself , and Henry's choices will always lead it back to Ellie .

- Henry chooses to settle down in the TK timeline due to it being the best outcome long-term , from their perspective . They get married to Ellie and later on , Charles

- Charles is the Just Some Guy in the relationship ❤️

- post-TK Henry Charles and Ellie will fake capture Charles just so he can get away from his work for a while to hang out / go on dates . Charles is the one who proposed the idea (there are a million other much simpler solutions to get Charles from his duties but , to him , this is the most fun approach)

- this is less triple threat and more Charles but , Charles and RHM develop a very silly friendship . needless to say even despite his rank as a helicopter pilot for the government , Right likes him enough to accept him as one of their own

- the ideal date night for all three of them is going out into some crowded area and doing whatever is available to them . they like making every date an adventure together . fairs and festivals and theme parks are their favorites

- Although Ellie makes a big show of being more grounded than the others , in actuality she is just as chaotic if its funny . her responsibilties are second to her commitment to the bit .

- Charles is very touchy with his friends and loved ones , not just hugs but patting them on the back or shoulder , shaking them around , bumping their shoulder , etc. the others weren't used to it at first but they pretty quickly adjusted

- Ellie and Henry are rarely if ever seen apart . due to their weird divine relationship to one another they are very in sync as a married couple and Toppat leaders . Charles , due to his chaos powers of extreme empathy , learns to catch up with the connection the two share . although not nearly on the same level of Eldritch as the other two , he can read both of their emotions pretty plainly .

- Charles might eventually make the leap and join the Clan instead of living a double life , but he struggles with how to confront Galeforce about it without him freaking out

- Henry is very quiet and to themself and doesn't usually speak unless they absolutely must or are comfortable . Charles and Ellie are the only two who have consistently heard it talk .

- Ellie's best trait and worst flaw is her trust in others and the desire to give people second chances . Despite her history as a Toppat , she never wants to believe that anyone can be evil and self-serving everytime . this did get her in trouble back in the day (hence being at the Wall) , but it also allowed her to get close to Henry and get it to see that it can do and be better . Henry is very grateful for her .

- Charles is similarly very trusting , although less likely to give people second chances , he moreso operates on first impressions or orders given to him . His personal feelings may sometimes come secondary to his instructions . for some reason Henry and Ellie throw a wrench into his typical attitude . he just cannot bring himself to wish harm upon them , which really muddies things more when he starts to seek them out and talk to them . despite literally all of his orders telling him not to .

- Henry doesn't trust anybody because they don't even trust themself 👍 Their disconnect from people due to controlling the timeloop with Liaf is why they felt so Nothing about everything they've been doing . Until they met Ellie , and Ellie was the only person who saw what was up and that shook Henry to their core so bad they immediately started to reform . Henry nowadays is much , much better at trusting people , especially its partners .

[iinryer]

If you could come up with the storylines for each Lone Star character (not Owen) for the next season, what would they be?

OH THIS IS A GOOD ONE… (not owen) made me laugh thank you. this didn’t end up being Quite what you asked but here are my hopes for s5!:

marjan is easy: comphet realization to lesbian arc. I don’t even need them to give her a gf i just want them to Address The Closeted Lesbianism they’ve been handing me over the past four seasons. i want salim to come back (in person or in conversation) for the rule of threes and have it force her to reckon with a lot of assumptions she had about herself. im on my hands and knees about it. I’ve been rewatching with a friend recently and i fucking forgot that they have her say a line about how her favorite place to hide as a kid was the closet. remember those new bts photos where she’s basically wearing the lesbian flag as a headscarf. lone star writers room i am IN YOUR WALLS. also i want to meet her sister. i need someone to call her mouse

nancy my beloved… honestly i just really want a nancy begins episode!! i want to know why she became a paramedic, i want to know about her relationship with her sister and if there’s any particular reason it was a soft spot for her during the DNR episode… I don’t have any particular ideas for specific i just want to know more about her!!! actually I’d love her to have to confront Tim’s death a little more directly. they made that whole thing about Owen which is fucking crazy to me, I’d love for the next time TK gets hurt (lol) for it to be something that dredges that up for her.

grace… miss grace i want to see you angry again. no plot line in mind i just like it when she’s pretending she doesn’t get angry or stubborn, she is such a fascinating character study. i love when she’s a contradiction. she and carlos teaming up was one of my favorite things abt s3, i would be so jazzed to see more things of that flavor.

tommy. hm… I don’t think I have any particular storylines for her in mind but I want more of her and grace and judd together because they are so delightful and lovely and best friends. OH ACTUALLY. I want something with tommy and charlie. this baby that was named in honor of the late love of her life. o don’t know what that story would be but there’s something there for sure…

carlos is the same as nancy tbh, I want a real full carlos begins! I want to meet his sisters! I want to see more of the mess that was growing up gay and feeling out of place and trying to be what your dad would want even though he thinks you’re too soft for it. why did he do it anyways! I also would love to see him and his mom being more involved, partially because obviously they had a horrible loss and trauma and she saw it happen but also because I love andrea:) she’s everything 2 me

judd I have been waiting for them to make you captain since SEASON THREE!! i want owen to retire and i want them to expand on the tension we got for the period he was captain!! i want to see how the dynamic changes and how his past issues come up when he’s in charge For Good. i want to see him get emotional about it and i want him to be captain while wyatt is his probie if they put him back on the firefighter track after his recovery :) bc that would be fun conflict and i think everything they did with owen (traumatically lost whole crew, son on your team) would be 100x better with judd

mateo is also a difficult one for specifics. I feel like they’re relatively fair with him? even with the low screentime all the secondary characters are relegated to. I’d be interested in seeing more fallout about his cousin, and I LOVED what they did with him and captain tatum so anything of that flavor of earnestness from him is always so good. maybe he and tatum will be buddies off the clock :)

tk getting hurt in increasingly absurd ways is always a classic that I look forward to them playing into lol

misc: i want to see more big brother wyatt with charlie getting a little older, i want less owen solo-plotlines, more ghost/memory gwyn i love her, carlos with his curls, the vega twins being involved in something maybe? that would be fun and stressful gjfhdhf

EDIT: OH MY GOD I FORGOT PAUL. I ABANDONED MY BOY. ok paul deserves literally any kind of robust plotline. Paul begins for starters, but also so much of his trans plotlines feel a little fumbled. I want a really earnest well done episode that isn’t necessarily About him being trans, but his transness is a factor and it’s handled in a really genuinely good and relatable way. they OWE HIM AND US THAT!! i also would love to see more of the gay kids being in gay spaces :)

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]

[noxsoulmate]

💞 Of Lizards, Love & Laundry 💞

🦎 now complete 🦎

Ship: Tarlos | Fandom: 911 Lone Star Author: noxsoulmate | Artist: paxdracona Read on ao3 | View art on ao3

Chapters: 7-9/9 | Word Count: 4049 | Complete Word Count: 13826 | Rating: Mature | Warnings/Tags: canon compliant, Lou II is the Houdini of Lizards, how Lou II makes his Papa love him, a story told in 7+2 parts, Carlos is so done, but TK knows how to condition his man, sex and spicy food, bribery, fluff, domestic fluff, fluff and smut, fluff and humor, Carlos loves TK, so he puts up with the reptile in their loft, until he starts to love the little monster as well

Inspired by the amazing art of @paxdracona

Created for the @911reversebang

Summary:

“TK, your lizard got out. Again.”

Lou II might just be the Houdini of lizards, an escape artist par excellence – but he’s also TK’s emotional support lizard, so how could Carlos not start to like the little monster? It certainly has nothing to do with TK’s ways of bribery or attempts at conditioning him, and more with the fact that Lou II is just… growing on him. Even if that means loads and loads of extra laundry.

OR: Carlos Reyes and the Journey of Becoming a Lizard Papa, told in 7+2 parts

🦎 Read chapters 7 to 9 on ao3 🦎

🦎 or start at the beginning 🦎

💞 and please leave lots of love on the wonderful art on ao3 💞

💞 🦎 This fic is now complete 🦎💞

Once more I have to say the biggest thanks to @paxdracona 🥰 working with you was such a joy and I hope there are more projects in our future.

And of course, all my love to my wonderful readers - thank you so much for all your love, for all the kudos and your lovely comments, as well as all the reblogs here on tumblr. I'm so thrilled you loved this fic and the amazing art 😘

Sneak peek and more art under the cut:

seven

Household chores are always a tiring thing to handle but Carlos actually likes some of them. He’s weird like that, yes, but he knows it has to do with it being mostly mindless tasks that don’t require much thinking, and still you can see the result in the end. Plus, doing them together with TK always makes it that much better. They love to share kisses whenever they’re close, they brush each other when one passes the other, just smiling, exchanging wordless communication. It’s nice, it’s domestic, and Carlos knows he won’t mind doing any chores for the rest of his life as long as he can share it with TK.

It also helps that they both have their preferred chores and switch up those neither of them likes or both of them do. Laundry, for example, is part of the last category. Before moving together, Carlos would’ve never thought TK would like doing laundry as much as he does. But they both see it as a rather meditative task, one that can be done while sitting on the couch.

And yes, Carlos still uses the couch to sort all the dry laundry, even after the little Lou II incident the other week.

Besides, he has to admit he has definitely warmed up to the little rascal. He isn’t even surprised anymore to sometimes find him outside of the terrarium. TK offered to set up a camera so they could see how the trickster does it – but Carlos brushed it off. By now, he might even be okay with letting him run around the loft sometime. He found these little cat hammocks online after watching a video where a bearded dragon used it to chill in it…

Not that he’s ready to tell TK just yet. His fiancé is excited enough as is, seeing how their wedding is only a few days away. No, he will keep that revelational new status in Lou II and his relationship for a day where TK needs another pick-me-up…

Carlos is pulled from his thoughts when TK drops down on the couch next to him, looking at him with that look. The look that tells Carlos right away that TK did something he thinks he’ll get in trouble for unless his puppy eyes will get him out of it.

“Oh no,” Carlos murmurs, staring at his fiancé. “What did you do?”

“So… remember a few weeks ago when Lou II got free while I cleaned his terrarium?”

Carlos looks past him and sees it right away, the open glass case and the cleaning supplies. All he does is sigh and look back at TK, who truly looks sheepish now.

“Remember how I promised I would tell you right away if it happened again? Well…”

💞🦎 Continue on ao3 🦎💞

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[chuplayswithfire]

i made the bulk of this post a while back in a multi post comment thread, but want it on its own standalone post ✌️

So here's the thing. It is certainly possible that Ed does know that Stede is actively married (with living children!) in season 1, but I think there's an equal possibility, if not that it's even more possible, that he doesn't, and here's why:

The only explanation for Stede being a perfectly wealthy gentleman pirate while having a current, non ex-wife and children on land is that he ditched them. Completely abandoned his family to go off and be a pirate. This would be, as many of us have noted, a real dick move. Walking out on your wife and kids tk go off to be a pirate and telling everyone you meet your name and tying yourself and said name which said wife and children share to a legacy of violent criminal activity, would be, kind of, a real dick move. It's a very uncharitable assumption to make.

And Ed?

Ed really likes Stede. He admires him. Thinks he has his shit together, thinks he's brilliant and cool and kind and a good person. Ed and Stede both have each other on pedestals in season 1, and maybe it's just me, but I think finding lut Stede's a deadbeat dad who walked out on his wife would have taken Stede off the pedestal and safely on the ground of regular joe that Ed doesn't have to feel is totally out of his league.

Now, looking at the show - it's alsl completely plausible that Ed wouldn't know that Stede has a wife and kids he abandoned when you consider that Stede never uses the word wife at all in his conversations with Ed (I'm not sure if he mentions a wife or children at all, to anyone. The only time it comes up is with the Badmintons, who already knew of Stede's family). He says that he was supposed to be a lighthouse to his family and that he failed them. Talking aloud in his sleep, he says Mary's name and that "we were just playing pirates".

Stede has pictures of the children on his mantle, but not a family portrait, and again he specifically says that he failed his family. Failure can mean many things. Ed assuming it means that Stede abandoned his perfectly fine and alive wife and children to be a pirate would be the most uncharitable option, especially because it's completely at odds with the persona of Stede that Ed is familiar with. The Gentleman Pirate is Mr. Talk It Through. Mr. You Wear Fine Things Well. Mr. Obvious Regret About His Family.

Stede's line delivery and the actual wording of it - that he failed his family - in this case, it honestly sounds more like his family is dead and Stede is a widower than that they're all perfectly alive and in good health at home and Stede's just walked out on them.

Not to mention, family can also mean a lot of things. Mary can be a wife's name - it can also be a sister's name, a cousin's name, a sister in law's name. Ed does have the famous line - "Who's this Mary then?" - but he notably doesn't follow up when Stede is awake, and considering it would be a major step in their understanding of each other, I have to assume that if Stede spoke about Mary, Louis, and Alma in any detail, we would see it onscreen, like every other major development in their relationship.

But I really don't think they had anything close to a talk about it, and here's why:

Abandoning Mary and his children is the guilt at the heart of Stede throughout the entire first season, it's the choice he made that he doesn't regret but knows he handled himself poorly in. It's the guilt he needs to confront to move forward, and he doesn't do that until episode 10. If Stede had been able to discuss in any detail who Mary was to him, or the fact that he has children that he's abandoned, he would have had to tell Ed why - which is that the life of a gentleman never suited him, that he's felt rejected and unwanted all his life, that he felt rejected, unneeded, and unwanted even in his own family and that's the kind of emotional vulnerability that Stede has only displayed in life or death situations in the entire show.

If Stede had talked about those things, they wouldn't hit so hard when the Badmintons hammer it home. Chauncey saying Stede ruined his family wouldn't be so hard hitting if Stede hadn't been refusing to process that his leaving might have had an impact on Mary, Alma, and Louis. If Ed knew Stede had a family he had abandoned, it would mean that Stede had talked about abandoning his family, and Ed would have almost certainly asked why.

A big reason the events of episode 9 and 10 hit so hard is that Stede and Ed are carried forward on the power of getting each other, of having similar ideas and minds, of wanting the same things and having similar baggage, and running away with that feeling without having the necessary, hard conversations. The affection and love are real, but the ability to be willingly vulnerable without triggers or tragedy isn't. That's why episode 7 is about Stede trying to use treasure hunt to keep Ed's attention instead of just saying he doesn't want him to go. It's why they have a disastrous miscommunication in episode 8.

It's why the kiss feels so powerful, because Ed tells Stede that this has all made him happy, that Stede makes him happy, and neither of them is having a breakdown or facing death to spark it.

So yeah, it's very probable that Ed didn't know Stede had a living family that he abandoned for the same reason Stede doesn't know the real significance of Ed's red silk. The explanation is a conversation they haven't had yet, because it would represent a level of willful unburdening that they haven't yet reached.

In season one, they fall in love, but poor communication and emotional baggage tear them apart. Stede finally talks it through and unburdens himself from the act that's weighed him down all season. It makes more sense than it doesn't that Ed wouldn't be aware of that baggage just yet; this is a romance, based heavily in romance pacing and tropes. That kind of unburdening between the romantic leads is a classic second act obstacle - they have to find their way back to each other, and share the truth of themselves. For Stede that's the truth about his insecurities, which are the real reason he left Ed, and which the whole abandonment of his family absolutely plays a role. For Ed, it's going to be that his own self hatred, his guilt, the way he believes people like him don't deserve fine things.

[alrightbuckaroo]

Thank you for saying what you said. Sometimes I wish the writers hadn't made Carlos a flawed character because of how some people have leapt on it to paint him as the bad guy in every situation, even ones from previous seasons. And that makes me sad because Carlos as a character makes me feel seen. But it's nice to not feel alone in seeing some of the discourse and feeling upset.

Of course! I don't know if this is in reference to this post or this one; but the sentiment remains the same: let Carlos mess up!

I can understand where you're coming from about wanting him not to be flawed; because character development like that can be polarizing and not always fair to the character.

It's why I hate it when a black or brown queen on RuPaul's Drag Race is given the "villain" edit because it just opens the doors for microagressions, coded remarks or blatant racism from the fandom.

I remember when the first couple of episodes of season four aired, and while I didn't necessarily love the marriage storyline, I did think it was weird to see some people just suddenly "turn" on Carlos.

Rafael had said something to the extent of like, "I hope you learn to love Carlos again" or "fall back in love with Carlos" and I was like...again? What happened? It's only been like three episodes lmao. I definitely think there are things Carlos has done that aren't perfect (when will we be free of cop era Carlos, I beg) but I think some people have gotten so used to seeing Carlos as the "perfect" solution to TK's problems and the moment he was shown not to be that, it kind of opened a floodgate.

All that said, I like that's he's shown to be flawed because that's what makes fictional characters that much more human!

Maybe it's because I'm BIPOC and most of my friends are too, but it's been really cool to see a queer man of color confront things like his internalized homophobia, his strained relationship with his father, and hell, just his emotions in general.

That said, when dealing with all of that, people aren't always going to make the "right" decisions or respond "correctly" but I think they deserve grace at the end of the day.

Obviously, it's a nothing more than a television show at the end of the day, and Carlos is just a character; but I really hope that the idea that men of color, especially queer men of color, aren't allowed to also mess up doesn't transfer to the real world, that's all I really care about at the end of the day.

Call out problematic behavior when you see it, but realize everyone's human, we're all going to mess up because we're human, but we still deserve grace to grow and change (to an extent) because we're human.