#also hiii how did you find my blog

[abigail-the-bagel]

I love it when I've been asking my old GCSE Music teacher to send me a screen recording of the Sibelius file for my free composition coursework but she's forgotten/didn't have time to do it again despite it being three weeks so I have to scrabble around my stupid Musescore files (affectionate??) to find something to post :)

[reiding-writing]

hiii, i hope you're well! i saw that you are taking requests for spencer and i really like your angst fics so i was wondering if you could write one with unrequited love?

preferably bau!reader who has feelings for him but he doesn't and she watches him get with someone else and everybody knows how she feels about him but he is oblivious, ending is up to you but i love me a sad ending heheh 😸

transgression [ s.r ]

You’re in love with Spencer Reid. He’s in love with somebody else.

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MAEVE ARC, LOTS of misunderstanding, Spencer is kind of a bad friend, lots of arguing, major character death

spencer reid x gn!reader || ANGST || 8.2k || masterlist!!

a/n: sorry for the delay, but i did warn you it was gonna be long so- also i listened to ceilings on repeat whilst writing this so take that as you will 🫶

did i bend the maeve arc to my will for this fic? yes. yes i did.

taglist (slashed blogs couldn’t be tagged): @babyspiderling @marsxoxo2 @vytvyvy @hpstuff244444 @frostooo @ohmysw33 @radioactiveinvisible @devilsadvcte @the-local-pendeja @kakashis-formal-simp @robinswrld

You suppose you did it to yourself.

Spencer’s migraines had gotten increasingly worse over the last few months, and after a few consecutive days of hounding him, he’d finally decided to go and see a medical professional about it.

You’d expected him to come back with news about how his brain stem was too active from how hard he was working himself, or that he’d managed to raise his blood pressure to an unhealthy high from all the stress he was under.

Instead he’d told you that they couldn’t find anything physically wrong with him and that he’d been referred to a geneticist to check if the cause of his sudden mind-numbing aching was due to an underlying condition that might have been passed down from his mother.

He’d come back and forth to you for weeks about his phone calls with the doctor.

How she was helping him with his sleep deprivation.

How she was helping to manage his diet.

How she loved classic literature.

How she and him had spent four consecutive hours on the phone debating over the logistics of a novel they both enjoyed.

You could see the change happening before your eyes, and you weren’t the only one either.

“Pretty boy’s chipper this morning,” Morgan joins you at the kitchenette, his eyes following Spencer as he takes a seat at his desk with all of the enthusiasm of a golden retriever puppy who’d been let off his leash for the first time.

You hum with a nod, focusing your attention on the two cups of coffee you were making, heaping tablespoons of sugar into Spencer’s Doctor Who mug to satisfy his insatiable need for sweetness. “They’re reading a book together,”

“Really?” You respond to Morgan’s raised eyebrow with a short nod and another hum.

“Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton, apparently she finds the religious analysis ‘fascinating’,” You can’t help the small contemptment that seeps into your tone as you reiterate what Spencer had told you to Morgan, and you can practically feel his pitiful gaze as he watches you make your coffee.

“I’ve heard of that book before from somewhere,”

“I tried to get him to read it a few months ago,” You take a sip of your coffee at the end of your sentence, barely able to taste it over the scolding water but not finding the mind to care.

You leave your conversation with Morgan at that, taking the two mugs in your hands and walking back into the bullpen, placing Spencer’s mug in front of him and walking around the cluster of desks to reach your own.

He’s sure he doesn’t need to verbalise it, but Morgan feels increasingly sorry for your situation, noting how you skirt past Spencer’s “thank you” without a response as you bury your head in your files.

he can’t imagine how much the fact that Spencer had seemingly formed a crush on his geneticist ripped you apart.

And the worst part? He’d never met her in person.

All scientific laws of attraction be damned, Spencer Reid had fallen in love with someone he’d never met in the span of three months, and you we’re resigning yourself to sit on the sidelines and watch as the man you had been in love with for six years find the happiness that you longed for with somebody else.

How you managed to keep up your facade you didn’t know.

You’d offered him change for the pay phone he’d call her from when he was running short. You’d let him rant to you about her opinions on a novel that you had failed to get him to read. You made excuses for him to leave the office early so that he could spend his time on the phone with her.

You were the one that sent him to the hospital and caused him to meet her in the first place.

He never hesitated to remind you of that fact, thanking you vicariously every time he relayed his conversations with the doctor back to you.

As the weeks progressed he stopped calling her that. She wasn’t ‘the doctor’ anymore. She was Maeve.

He didn’t call you by your first name and you’d known him for ten times longer that he’d known her. He didn’t even call Morgan by his first name and those two were practically brothers.

And that part was probably what hurt the most.

Maeve.

A name of Irish origin meaning ‘intoxicating’. How fitting.

Apparently the Irish goddess of love and desire was named Maeve. You could see the glimmer in Spencer’s eye that told you his Maeve was just as important as the mythological goddess he was describing.

His Maeve.

“So why haven’t you two actually gone on a date or anything?” You take a sip from the mug in your hands, swivelling your chair back and forth with your foot as a pivot. “You’ve been talking for what, four months now? Surely it’s about time you actually met her in person,”

“It’s complicated,” Spencer sighs as he collects the loose papers he was working on in a pile. He didn’t want to divulge Maeve’s issues without her permission.

“You’ve been saying that for the last six weeks Spencer,” You roll your eyes as you discard your half-empty mug on the table. “If I didn’t know any better i’d say you’re putting it off,”

Spencer shook his head adamantly at your suggestion. You couldn’t have been more wrong. He did want to meet her. Desperately. He’d wanted to meet her since the end of their first phone call. But he also wanted to keep her safe.

How do you meet up with somebody who’s hiding from a stalker without endangering them?

“I do want to meet her. It’s just- she’s dealing with something personal and it’s put a rift our plans, that’s all,”

“So it’s her not wanting to meet up with you then?” You raise an eyebrow at him over your desks.

“Look it’s- You don’t get it okay? It was a mutual understanding from both of us.” You can hear Spencer’s tone become more defensive as you spoke, and you raised both of your hands in surrender.

“Okay, i’m sorry for prying-” You ended your apology with a laugh, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted despite feeling your heart deflate in your chest at the way the friendliness his his eyes fizzled out the longer you looked at him.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spencer’s late to work this morning.

It’s 8:06 when he finally walks through the glass doors, the coffee you made him stone cold after sitting lamely on his desk for the better part of twenty minutes. He doesn’t so much as offer an apology as he picks up the mug and makes his way over to the kitchenette to pour the coffee down the sink.

You follow behind him in a mix of intrigue and a want to refill your own mug, swilling it out with some water as you watch Spencer load a coffee pod into the machine. “Phone call last longer than you expected?”

“Hm? Oh- yeah, we were discussing the literary analysis of Annabelle Lee,” Spencer’s demeanour seems to brighten immediately once he’s given an opportunity to discuss the details of his phone call with Maeve, although the beginning of his ramble is quickly cut off by the beeping of the coffee machine.

You wait patiently for his coffee to finish before you begin making yours, raising an eyebrow as Spencer pulls out a regular teaspoon instead of the usual tablespoon he’d incorrectly use to load his coffee with sugar.

Your intrigue only heightened when he pulled a carton of milk from the mini-fridge. Not even normal milk. Soy milk.

“Since when do you drink coffee like a normal person?”

His eyes flickered from his mug to your face as he tipped a single teaspoon of sugar into his drink before replacing the bag back where it came from. “It’s a part of my managed diet, Maeve thinks that my increased sugar intake might be one of the risk factors for my headaches,”

“Did she tell you to put soy milk in it too?” You don’t know why you have the urge to be petty, Spencer had long since needed to change his coffee drinking habits for the sake of decreasing his sugar intake and Maeve’s suggestions were beneficial for his health.

It was just the fact that it was her that ticked you off.

“She did actually, it provides the same amount of riboflavin as cow’s milk, which acts as a soothing agent whilst also helping constrict inflamed blood vessels, but without all of the excess fats in regular milk that might make my migraines more frequent, it’s genius really,”

He thought that her ideas were genius. Him. Mr ‘I have three PhDs and an IQ of 187’, thought someone else’s ideas were genius.

You’re sure that he already knew the benefits of milk alternatives, and yet he attributed the ‘revelation’ of what they could do to Maeve. Of course he did.

“When was the last time you made a decision for yourself?” The question comes out much harsher than you intend it to, and you can tell by the way Spencer furrows his eyebrows that he’s taken offence to it.

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” No it didn’t. “I’m just a little surprised that someone as independent as you is so… willing to follow blind instructions,” Your attempt at saving yourself half-works, that wrinkle between his eyebrows disappears and you can see that the glimmer in his eyes is returning slowly.

“She’s a doctor, of course i’m going to follow her suggestions,”

You give him a soft nod as you pick up your mug from under the coffee machine. “Yeah, no, that makes sense, it’s just a little surprising is all,”

You don’t give him a chance to respond to you before you’re walking away from the kitchenette to retake a seat at your desk, fearing you might say something out of pocket if you continue the conversation any longer.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You were really pissed off now.

You’d arrived back in Quantico three days ago, and you were still piled up to your neck in paperwork.

Maybe you would’ve had it finished by now if Spencer would stop talking about the fact that he was “-finally going to meet Maeve in person,”.

You had half the mind to snap and tell him to just shut up, although by the saving grace of Morgan you thankfully didn’t have to.

“Reid, give their poor ears a break man,” Your thankful for Morgan in times like this. He knew you were knee-deep in your feelings for Spencer, and he knew that every time Spencer so much as spoke Maeve’s name it carved another hairline fracture in your heart.

You were close to shattering, and Morgan could tell.

“Oh- right, sorry,” Spencer offered you an awkward smile which you mirrored back at him.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” You shake your head in a polite dismissal of his apology before turning your head back down towards your files.

“I take it you’re nervous then?” Alex’s voice cut through the beginning of an awkward tension between the two of you as she entered to bullpen with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Well- I mean- you know…” Upon being unable to find a sufficient response, Spencer resorts to shrugging into his chair. “I just don’t want to ruin anything,”

“But aren’t you curious what she looks like?” Alex raises an eyebrow with concern like Spencer was he son going on his first ever date.

“it doesn’t matter what she looks like I mean- she’s already the most beautiful girl in the world to me it’s just-”

You don’t stick around to hear the rest of the conversation.

You sudden upheaval from your desk stops Spencer’s sentence as his eyes follow you across the bullpen and out of the glass doors, followed shortly by Morgan as he jogs after you.

“Hey- Wait up a minute-” Morgan catches your arm before you have a chance to get in the elevator, and as you turn your eyes towards him he can see the beginnings of tears forming in your eyes.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this..”

Morgan can do nothing more than pull your head into his shoulder and wrap his arms tightly around your back with a soft mutter of your name. “I know kid, I know…”

“He thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world,” You turn your head up from Morgan’s shoulder to meet his eyes, a single stray tear cascading down your cheek, illuminated under the florescent lights. “How am I supposed to compete with that..?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Incidentally, Spencer’s date with Maeve didn’t end up happening. Conflicting work schedules or something, you weren’t really listening.

Maybe all of your subconscious thoughts had leaked into reality and finally gave you momentary release from the crushing defeat of having Spencer go on a date with someone else.

Maybe it was them punishing you further by forcing you to sit through him rant about the book she’d left him at the front of the restaurant.

It didn’t help that you already had a headache that made it feel like your eye sockets were being kicked by an annoying kid sat behind you on an aeroplane, leaving a dull ache in it’s wake and making you just want to bury yourself in a hole and hibernate.

“And right at the back she wrote ’Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another’ it’s a quote from-”

“Thomas Merton. Yeah, I know.” You dig the knuckle of your left thumb into cavity of your eye socket over your closed eyelid, hoping to relieve some of the tension that’s lingering there and disrupting your thoughts.

“Thomas Merton’s ‘Love and Living’ specifically,” If Spencer noticed your discomfort he didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s a collection of his essays on the importance of love to live, so for her to have written it specifically knowing that I would read it means-”

“Reid.”

Your tone stops him from continuing any further, and he blinks at you with that sweet puppy-dog expression that would usually have you weak at the knees.

“No offence, but I don’t care about your over-the-phone girlfriend or the quote that she wrote in your book.” Your tone carried a harshness to it that Spencer wasn’t used to hearing from you. It was cold and detached and not like you at all.

“Are- you okay?”

“No, Reid, I’m not, and if you’d bothered to ask about my life every once in a while instead of using me like a human diary maybe you would’ve realised that already.”

You practically slam your file closed as you speak, pushing your chair out from your desk and leaving him sat in shock at your sudden change in attitude.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a bit of introspection, Spencer did realise that he hadn’t been treating you very fairly. He hadn’t asked you how your life had been in 3 months and 26 days. Four of those days he’d spent in damn near radio silence. He wasn’t sure he could take it much longer.

He missed you.

It was a bit ironic considering you sat directly opposite him for almost eight hours a day five days a week, but after you’d snapped at him last week, he truly realised just how much of his day he spent socialising with you, and just how much he missed talking to you.

So he decided that he was going to apologise.

And what better form of an apology for being dismissive of your feelings than putting a personal effort into something for you.

He walked into the office that morning with a leather bound copy of The Parasite by Arthur Conan Doyle stored cautiously in his messenger bag, pages scrawled with annotations from Spencer’s own reading of the novel that he hoped would be insightful to you as you read it yourself.

He’d remembered you saying how much you wanted to read the novel a few months ago, so he figured giving it to you as a personalised apology would show that he really did care about you and had listened to what you’d told him.

“Are you busy?” Spencer asks, though he already knows the answer to the question.

He’d been watching you from the other side of the room all morning, hoping for a moment or two of eye contact to see if there was a possibility of a conversation. A look from one to the other; even a smile would’ve been enough to make him feel validated and content. And he would have been willing to settle for that.

But you never looked up. Not even once.

"Mhm," You continue to not spare Spencer so much as glance as he speaks, turning over the page of the file you were working through.

“Can I take a minute of your time?” He tried to catch your gaze again, only to be met by your continued focus on your work. The last thing he wanted to do was disrupt your work routine, but he also knew that he needed to talk to you sooner rather than later.

“Please,” he said softly. “It’s important.”

You exhale heavily through your nose, exasperation written clearly in your expression as you leave your pen as a page marker to close the manilla folder on your desk. You turn your head upwards, raising an eyebrow and opening your hands to agitatedly indicate for him to continue.

You wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt being so openly cold towards Spencer, but you’d reached a breaking point, and you couldn’t bare sitting idly on the sidelines and letting him tear your heart to pieces anymore.

Spencer was relieved that you’d granted him your attention, but the look you directed towards him was enough to make him wince. You weren’t looking at him through a lens of indifference but rather cold, hard disappointment.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather the right words for what he had to say.

“I’m sorry,”

He seemed almost breathless as he spoke, like he’d just finished a tangent about something without taking the time to breathe. “I know that I’ve been spending too much time talking about Maeve and not enough paying attention to you.”

"You don’t say," You mutter the words under your breath to yourself, but your sure that Spencer heard you based on the way his eyebrows knit and the small gleam of hope in his eyes dwindles to barely a flicker.

He was trying not to react to your snide comment. Spencer knew that your tone didn’t leave any room to deny your meaning. He’d been selfish in talking exclusively about his relationship and hadn’t realised how it was affecting you.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer repeated. “You mean so much to me and I haven’t been showing that.”

"Thank you," Your thanks are polite but dismissive, like you were acknowledging his apology but choosing to not actually consider it as one, and it left Spencer with an expression of clear frustration.

He was used to being able to read your facial expressions and emotions in the past, but now you were just an unreadable wall of disappointment. He had hoped the apology would've been enough, but it was clear that you weren’t going to let him off that easily.

Time to pull out the last resort.

He bent over and fumbled with his bag for a few moments before pulling out the novel he’d brought with him face up.

“I uh… got you this,” He holds out the book towards you. “You said you wanted to read it right? So I uh.. annotated it for you to make it more enjoyable,”

You take the novel from him with a raised eyebrow as your eyes scan the cover, a clear flicker of confusion in your expression.

Spencer noticed your expression and furrowed his own brow in confusion. You didn't seem to recognise the book. In fact, the look on your face made him wonder whether you even knew this book existed at all before this moment.

“I hope you… like it,” he said nervously. “I was going off what you'd talked about before. You mentioned the book was a classic?”

"I… have never seen this book in my life,”

“B-But…” Spencer knew this was going to be awkward at some point, but he'd hoped not this early into the conversation. He could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment, and it was only getting worse as he searched your face for an answer to this awkward situation.

“I… swear I heard you mention it once.”

You give him a short shake of your head and a pursed smile of awkward thanks as you put the book down on your desk.

Spencer looked away, embarrassed beyond belief. He hadn't even been able to deliver an apology properly, let alone make you feel special like he'd originally intended to.

How had he gotten it wrong? He had an eidetic memory for god’s sake.

When you put the book down on your desk, his eyes flicked back to the book. He'd spent almost 4 hours annotating and researching it and now it felt like all that effort had been wasted.

If you hadn’t mentioned it then who had? Someone must’ve. Someone he obviously equated with you to the point where he’d somehow managed to override his eidetic memory to mix the two of you up.

It takes him a few moments before you hear him whisper out a name under his breath, the palm of his hand dragging down the front of his face at the realisation.

"Maeve…"

The mention of her name had your eyes flickering away from the leather cover and right back to Spencer’s face, awkwardness completely rid of your features and replaced with a mix of negativity that Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to dig into.

"Are you serious?" Your words come out less questioningly and more accusatory, and you hold the book up so that he can see it once more, the gold embossing on the cover glinting under the overhead light as if to only taunt Spencer further for his mistake.

“You apologise for continuously disregarding me for your girlfriend by giving me a book that she showed interest in?”

You could see Spencer's face fall as your words sink in.

He hadn't even taken the time to think over what he was apologising with. It was almost as if his brain automatically just reverted back to his girlfriend's interests as an escape from dealing with his own guilt and sadness.

"Damn it," he whispered to himself. And in that moment he realised he'd just committed the biggest crime someone could make when trying to apologise.

“Like you constantly flaunting your relationship in my face verbally wasn’t bad enough.”

"I'm sorry I-" he says again, voice teeming with sincerity and guilt.

"You are truly and utterly unbelievable Spencer Reid." Your words didn’t carry anger as much as they did disappointment, and he could see the astoundment in your eyes as you pushed your chair backwards to stand, dropping the book straight in the trash bin by your desk before walking off.

It’s where it belongs; Right alongside the small sliver of respect you still had for him.

Spencer could've said so much more: he could've admitted how ashamed he felt for his careless actions and he could've apologised again and again a million times if it meant you'd stick around and give him a chance to make it up to you.

But you had already made it clear that you weren't in the right state of mind to discuss this matter further.

The best thing he could do now was give you space as he watched you walk away, a deep pain in his heart that slowly ate him alive from the inside.

He’d well and truly fucked up.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh sweetheart, what’s wrong?” You were bordering tears by the time you reached Garcia’s office, unintentionally interrupting her lunch break with Alex in the process, though the two seemed to care less about the interruption and more about the fact that you liked like you were about to cry your eyes out.

You take in a sharp breath through your nose as you try to tape together the cracks in your composure, although with every one you seal three more seem to appear in it’s place.

“I-” You can barely get the first word out before the tears start rolling down your face, and Alex immediately stands from her seat to guide you to sit in her place.

“Hey, you’re alright, slowly,” Alex’s hands find your shoulders and rub reassuring circles against your shirt. The slow breath you take in doesn’t stop the flood of tears that’s blurring your vision, and you only manage to get out a single word, but it’s all the two need to understand what’s got you so overwhelmed.

“Spencer-”

“I swear I am two seconds away from smacking that boy over the back of the head,” You can hear the clear frustration in Garcia’s tone. “Surely he’s got to realise how much he’s hurting you by now,”

“He does… I lashed out at him and then left to come here…” You rub your eyes with the back of your hand alongside a small sniffle, trying to rid your vision of it’s blurriness from your tears.

“Good, the boy deserves to have some sense knocked into him,” You appreciate Garcia taking your side, but you can’t help that small lingering feeling of guilt that invades the back of your mind.

“He’s just in love, it’s not his fault…” The words almost physically pain you to say. The verbal acceptance that Spencer Reid was indeed in love with somebody. Somebody who wasn’t you.

“That doesn’t mean that he should be disregarding you though sweetheart,” Alex’s tone is soft and almost maternal, and your sure that it doesn’t help how emotional you are.

Garcia’s right hand reaches forward to straighten out the collar of your shirt, unintentionally crumpled as you try to wipe your face of your emotions. “You’re his friend, and you have been his friend for longer than he’s known this girl he’s talking to, it’s not fair for him to completely push you to the side,”

Garcia was right. It’s not fair. Nothing about how Spencer had been treating you since he’d started speaking to Maeve had been fair. And you were done making excuses for the boy just because you knees deep in your feelings for him.

You didn’t deserve to feel guilty. You didn’t deserve to feel bad for lashing out at Spencer for apologising for not showing interest in your life by further proving just how little he’d actually payed attention to you. You didn’t deserve to cry because he was the most stupid genius to ever live and couldn’t see that you were hopelessly in love with him. You didn’t deserve to suffer by his hand.

It wasn’t fair.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Maeve’s been kidnapped.”

You have to consciously suppress the small voice in the back of your head that celebrates the possibility that she might not be a part of Spencer’s life for much longer. It’s a horrible thought. You should never wish ill upon anyone, no matter how much you internally despised them.

Still, that part of you that was still petty, that was still infuriated with Spencer and Maeve, wanted you to tell Spencer straight to his face that you weren’t going to help him find her and that it was karma for how he’d treated you.

But you weren’t a bad person.

As much as you might hate her, she was still important to Spencer.

“I have a wealth of knowledge i should be applying to this case, but- i can’t focus on anything for more than four seconds at a time… which makes me the dumbest person in the room-” Spencer’s eyes are full of desperation as they scan across your teammates.

“So please help me… Please help me find her…” The desperation in his voice is heartbreaking, the remnants of tears staining his face as he explains the context of the situation through broken sentences.

“We don’t have an official case, so we’ll be working on personal time,” Hotch’s voice is much quieter than you’re used to. Softer, more considerate. “Does anybody want to leave?”

You can feel his eyes linger on you as he asks the question, and you subconsciously purse your mouth into a tight line to stop yourself from impulsively pulling out of the investigation.

You might be detrimentally frustrated with him, but you did want to help. Even if it ultimately resulted in your downfall.

Hotch gave you a short nod before turning to the rest of the team. “Good, let’s get to work,”

It didn’t take Garcia very long to track Maeve down, mostly attributed to her unique name and specialised job.

Dr. Maeve Donovan, a professor at Mendel University who took a sabbatical leave 10 months ago.

The group split into different groups once they’d found her, JJ and Morgan heading off to a loft her parents owned, Alex and Rossi heading to the lab she used to work at, and you and Hotch, accompanied by Spencer, going to speak to Maeve’s parents.

“Reid,” Garcia’s tone is soft as she looks over her laptop screen towards him as he begins to stand from the conference table. “I have a picture of her, do you want to know what she looks like?”

“No,”

Spencer’s answer is immediate, joined by a shake of his head.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

You and Spencer watched from behind the one way mirror as the interview progressed.

They’d last spoken to Maeve five days ago. Her mother had cancer. She was also a geneticist. They were suspicious of her ex fiancé Bobby.

Her fiancé?

You can see Spencer’s face drop at the words despite the low lighting in the room, and you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows yourself.

She had a fiancé?

Spencer practically storms out of the office after the questioning is over, and Hotch has to remind him to calm down as they reach the apartment of Robert Putnam with Morgan and Rossi in tow.

When the door opens the five of you aren’t greeted by Robert, but rather a girl, a girl who looked very confused.

You invite yourselves inside at the girl’s recognition that Robert was inside the apartment.

“And who are you?”

“I’m Diane, his girlfriend,” She raised an eyebrow as the five of you looked around, confusion cut short as Robert rounds the corner questioning the sudden voices coming from his living room.

“Hey babe what’s-“

“Robert Putnam, FBI we’d like to-” Spencer’s voice cuts him off harshly as he rushes to speak, although he stops his sentence halfway as a flicker of recognition falls across his features and his anger turns to dread.

“Hey, I know you,” Robert doesn’t have the time to say anything else to Spencer before Hotch forces him out of the room, shutting the door behind him to speak to Spencer privately whilst you Morgan and Rossi remained inside.

Hotch returned a few minutes later. Spencer didn’t.

You end up taking Hotch’s place as you push yourself out of the apartment with a small “excuse me,” to follow after Spencer as he walks out of the apartment building.

“Spencer- wait up a minute-”

He doesn’t stop at your call, and you’re practically running down the stairs by the time you get to him, already out of the front doors of the apartment building.

“Hey-” You take a second to catch your breath before turning your eyes back towards him again. “Are you alright?”

You could see the flicker of confusion in his eyes as he met your gaze.

The last time you spoke to him you threw away any remnant of your friendship with him in the bin alongside the book he’d given you, and now here you were, chasing after him to make sure that he was okay.

“Why did you agree to help?”

Your face falls from concern to surprise at his question, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

“I know that you don’t like her, so why are you here?” You could see the beginnings of tears forming in his eyes, clearly overwhelmed with how the investigation was going.

“She’s important to you Spencer. Like her or not I care about you. So therefore I care about her,” You don’t think as you speak, words spilling out of your mouth with no conscious filter.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer’s apology elicits a sigh from your mouth, and you shake your head softly at him.

“Forget it, let’s focus on getting Maeve home safe alright?” He obliges to your request with a purse of his lips and a small nod, turning his eyes towards the ground.

“What’re you thinking about?” His eyes fall on yours once more at your question, round with confusion and glistening with the starts of tears. “I can see it in your face, you’re calculating something in your head,”

He exhales through his mouth in a small laugh. You’d always been able to figure him out, and not just because you were a profiler.

“2,412 hours,” His tone is uncertain, mixed between gratefulness for you observance and something far more upsetting. “That’s how long Maeve and I have contacted each other counting letters and phone calls…”

“That’s what-” You take a second to do the calculation in your head. “100 days?”

“100.5…” He runs his hand backwards through his hair, pressing his eyes closed like he’s afraid tears will spill from them if he doesn’t. “What if that’s all I get?”

“It won’t be Spencer…”

“You don’t know that-“

“Yes Spencer, I do,” You have to consciously suppress the sigh that threatens to leave your mouth, pushing your lingering distaste for Maeve down with it. “She is going to be fine, I promise,”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Turns out Maeve’s ex fiancé wasn’t the stalker. In fact, he was being stalked himself, and whilst JJ and Garcia were looking over the images posted to Robert whilst him and Maeve were still together they discovered something that changed the entire direction of the investigation.

Maeve’s face had scribbled out in eyeliner.

You and the team spent the next thirty minutes rebuilding the profile from the bottom up.

“Celebrity stalkers are usually non violent,”

“You want to tell that to John Lennon Rossi?” Spencer looked up from his lap towards the group at the table, having separated himself from the group to sit on a sofa lining one of the walls so he couldn’t bias the profile.

It wasn’t going too well.

“What was it that Mark David Chapman said after he shot him?” Spencer stood from his seat, anger flaring in his nostrils. “‘It was like all of my nobody-ness and all of his somebody-ness collided’,”

You could hear the rise in his tone as he worked himself up the more he spoke.

“Spencer-“

“Maeve is somebody. And this- bitch is a nobody.”

“Spencer.”

Spencer caught your gaze, and immediately fizzling out of his eyes and replaced with guilt. “I’m sorry- I can’t be very helpful right now I should leave-“

“Yes you can Reid, you have 100.5 days of communication with this girl and a recall everything verbatim,” Morgan’s gaze is entirely concerned with Spencer’s outburst.

“There’s too much of it, and I can’t sort through any of it clearly-“ Spencer is clearly on the edge of breaking, and you can tell he’s not going to be able to keep his composure for much longer.

“Then pick one of us and we’ll go through it with you,” Hotch leaned his elbows against the table, his voice again portraying that soft, parental tone that said he knew how overwhelmed Spencer was getting.

Spencer didn’t even say anything, his eyes just silently flickered over to you and you knew you couldn’t refuse him.

You return his silence as you get up from your seat and pat your hand on his shoulder for the two of you to exit the room together.

Time to torture yourself for the sake of Spencer’s wellbeing.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Diane Turner, a research assistant working for her PhD in the same lab as Maeve. A student who had her thesis rejected because it contained a heavy sample bias that included both of her parents.

It took a while, but Garcia eventually managed to track down a loft that was owned under Diane’s parents’ names, less than 10 minutes away from Maeve’s apartment.

“Take your gun and vest off,” Diane’s voice is harsh through the receiver attached to the front of the building, and Spencer’s eyes flickered up from the silk blindfold in his hands to the metal box.

He doesn’t question the orders as he immediately begins stripping the vest from his torso, dropping it and his gun on the floor.

“Now come in alone.”

“Spencer.” You call out to him as he reaches for the door handle, and he gives you that look that makes your stomach do flips in your torso. Except this time it’s not that pleasant fluttery feeling, but instead an existential dread at the fact that he might not walk out of the building alive.

“I’ll be okay,” He gives you a nod of reassurance as he pushes the door open, and you find yourself clenching your hands around your gun to stop yourself from following after him.

The six of you wait outside for what feels like hours, and you lean back and forth on the balls of your feet as you become increasingly restless with the situation.

Then, a gunshot.

And a second.

And your heart drops in your chest.

You’re not entirely present as you rush into the building with the team following behind you, gun raised at your eyes.

Spencer had to be okay. He had to. He was going to be fine. You were going to walk into that room and he was going to be perfectly fine.

You hoped Maeve was alright too. As much as she was unintentionally causing you literal hell, you knew that she meant everything to Spencer.

You knew that he’d choose her over anything. He’d choose her over you.

And right now you don’t care. You just want him to be okay.

You force the door open to the loft with your foot, gun pointed straight ahead at the first person you see.

“Stay back-“ Spencer practically shouts from where he’s half lying on the floor, right hand clutching tightly at his left bicep, trails of blood cascading down his fingers and onto the floor.

“Stay back stay back don’t shoot-“

You let out an audible sigh at the fact that Spencer wasn’t critically harmed, although upon a whimper of his name from further across the room you turn your eyes up to the noise.

And you finally meet the girl that’s caused you ten months of hell. Held at gunpoint.

That small voice in the back of your head tells you that this might be your chance to finally rid her from your life, to let her succumb to whatever Diane had planned and leave Spencer to you.

But you take one look at the desperation in her eyes and any loathing that remained in your mind immediately fizzled out.

It wasn’t her fault. Of course it wasn’t. She was just a girl that happened to be in love.

“Diane,” Spencer pushes himself to stand, and you can see the pain in his face as he does. “There’s still a way out of this,”

“You never wanted me. Never!” Diane pushes the gun she’s holding hard against Maeve’s neck, and you can see her eyes squeeze closed as she attempts to keep herself from crying. “You lied!”

“I didn’t.”

Spencer shakes his head adamantly, and you glance over at Hotch as you spread across the back of the room, guns raised in Diane’s direction. “Diane, I offered you a deal, and you can still take it,”

“Me for her. Let me take her place,”

You only have a view of the back of Spencer’s head now, but you can tell by the tone of his voice that his expression is a pure display of desperation, one that you’re happy you can’t see because you’d lose your composure in an instant.

“You would do that?” Diane’s question is angry and accusatory, tears rolling down her face as she presses the gun against Maeve’s neck once more.

Spencer nods with no threat in his tone. “Yes,”

“You would kill yourself for her?”

“Yes.”

You practically feel your heart stop.

“Thomas Merton,” Maeve’s voice is almost exactly as you imagined it to be. Soft, smooth and, as Spencer had called it all those months ago, ‘dipped in honey’.

“Who’s Thomas Merton?” Diane’s tone contrasts Maeve’s tenfold, pitchy, uneven and overrun with manic anger.

“He knows,” You can see Maeve’s eyes flicker, and you assume that they meet Spencer’s as his shoulders drop. “He knows.”

“Who’s Thomas Merton?” Diane shakes Maeve in her grasp as if to intensify the urgence of her question, and you tighten your grip on your gun in instinctual response. “Who is he?”

“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve’s voice is confident and defiant despite the clear tears in her eyes.

Thomas Merton could’ve been something between Spencer and you.

“No.”

You can see a clear change in Diane’s expression at Maeve’s words, and she lowers the gun from Maeve’s head only to hold it up against her own, staring directly into Spencer’s eyes.

“Wait-”

Spencer barely has time to shout the word before the gun fires, and you flinch at the sound as you watch Maeve and Diane both drop to the floor, dark red blood pooling around the two.

You can feel the tension in the room as everyone computes what just happened, guns lowering slowly as their eyes lock onto the two women on the floor.

You’re not focused on that. You’re focused on the tightness of Spencer’s shoulders as he takes sharp breaths in and out of his nose.

The way he seems to forget about the bullet wound in his arm as his legs give out underneath him.

The way a sob that leaves his mouth despite the fact that he tries to muffle it with his hand.

The way that Spencer broke.

He's crying. Big, heaving, heart-wrenching sobs.

His shoulders are trembling.

His hands are shaking.

His head is hanging downwards so that his hair is covering his face.

You approach him slowly, kneeling down at his side and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

His eyes slowly shift from Maeve, his sobs only seeming to amplify as he meets your gaze. His eyes are red and closely with tears, his cheeks running hot and his lips trembling.

You don’t speak, knowing that you’ll break if you do. Instead, you guide his head into your shoulder and let him crumble in your arms, grieving the loss of the love of his life.

You’re sure you’re going to cry yourself to sleep when you get home, but right now, you needed to be strong. For him.

“I’m so sorry-“ Spencer speaks through broken sobs as you hold him, the rest of the team moving to secure the scene.

“Shh,” You shake your head against his softly, rubbing the palm of your hand up and down his back as you let him cry until he physically couldn’t anymore.

“I treated you so horribly-“ He pulls away from your shoulder to look into your eyes once more. “I’m so sorry- Please don’t leave me…”

You purse your lips into a line, your expression full of so many emotions Spencer can’t distinguish any of them.

“I’m not going anywhere,” You pull his head back into your shoulder, leaning your head against his. “I promise…”

[megistusdiary]

hiii! can i be 🕊️ anon? anyway,, what about s/o!fem!reader x s/o!arlecchino short fic w/ reader being able to play an instrument, possibly the piano or a guitar. and then one day, arle comes home after a long day of work to find reader playing (instrument) in their shared bedroom, and arle just stands there and watches them and then when reader is done, they turn around to find arle smiling (mischievously) and melts, super embarrassed idk im having brainrot 😭 i NEED more arlecchino content. ive already read everything i found

hi, omg. yes ofc you can be 🕊 anon!! welcome to my blog ✨️

that's such a cute concept. personally, i'd like to believe arlecchino can play the violin or piano too, so imagine a future duet 🤭

imagine living together in arle's fancy home, and it's her piano in your shared room, and then she finds you playing, which makes it extra special, right?? 😁

also, girl, i HEAR you. literally only came back to writing because there was a serious lack of content for all the pretty women. someone's gotta do it 🫡 i hope this is alright for you

arlecchino x fem!pianist ⋆.࿔*

contents: fluff, wlw pairing, reader plays piano

arlecchino walked into the door with a million problems on her mind, as per usual. she was silent as she tossed her jacket onto a nearby chair, rolling her sore shoulders and neck, eyebrows still furrowed from frustration.

her thoughts were as tense as her muscles, only to relax involuntarily when she heard soft music coming from the bedroom.

she took careful steps, minimizing the click of her heels on the tile towards the beautiful music. she instantly recognized the piece being played; one of her personal favorites that she had memorized the sheet music for entirely.

the bedroom door was already open partially, allowing music to flood out into the hallway. she slowly pushed the door further open, completely silent as she leaned against the doorframe.

her eyes fell upon you at her grand piano, a rather expensive and elegant model. arlecchino often played in the evenings for you or vice versa, though she had never heard you play when you assumed you were alone.

the stress from her day's work slowly melted from her face with each press of the keys from your fingers. she admired how elegant you looked at this moment, how you seemed to be completely pulled into the music, so focused you hadn't yet recognized her presence.

the corners of her lips quirked up as you neared the end of the song, the part you knew was her favorite. subconsciously, you drew it out longer, causing her heart to swell within her chest.

once the song was over, the minute you turned around, you let out a soft gasp, nearly falling off the piano bench. "you scared me! how long were you there?" your voice was rushed, embarrassment clear on your face.

her arms were folded over her chest, a slight smirk on her lips. "nice to see you too. you play beautifully." she walks over to you, leaning down over where you sat.

the way you looked up at her so sweetly had her melting, tilting your chin up to kiss your forehead. "did you mean to draw that last part out, or did you forget how the song ends?" she teased as she leaned back up.

she relished in the way you turned away, ears heating up as you stood up from the bench. "ah, forget it! i'm all done! the piano is yours!" you huffed, stomping away, leaving her to chuckle dryly at your retreating form.

[haedalkoo]

Hiii

First of all thank you so much for taking your time out and translating things for us to understand in a better context.

I am really curious how and when did you started supporting Jikook?? I mean if i talk about us International Army we sometimes don’t understand the context behind what they are saying for eg “Bike conversation” JK said “Romance” but he didn’t say it in a “romantic” way and we wouldn’t have known about it unless you wouldn’t have explained the context behind it. Sometimes we take their conversation in another direction as we don’t understand the context behind it… so i wanna know in AYS or even before have they talked with each other in a romantic or flirty way?? I mean we all sensed something between these two that’s why so many of us Believe in them and support them but i feel you understand them better as you can understand what they are speaking about or in which sense.. am really curious about it please enlighten us😃😃

This ask is soo cute!! Honestly, I started learning korean thanks to bts so by the time I was deep into jikook I was just learning the basics. It feels like a long time ago now lol 2018... ! But I adored their bond and, let's be honest, 2018 jikook were loud as hell. It was impossible not to love them.

But when I got better at korean, I did start realizing stuff that maybe my other jikooker friends missed at first glance. For me it's the way they speak to each other- their tone usually lowers and they sound really soft, or they add some aegyo at the end of their sentences. I'm thinking really hard of this 2019 live, when Jimin's teasing suddenly turns soft and he goes "I made my apology so may I go now?" and JK, in the quietest softest voice, says, "you may." I'm thinking of Jimin's 2021 birthday live. Honestly, there are a million examples. Plus, JK loves talking to Jimin in informal speech (banmal) since forever. Nowadays I think he's more grown and talks to all of them casually, but I noticed he's more careful or more 'polite' with the older hyungs (jin and namjoon mostly, we know he loves calling yoongi by his name pls), while with Jimin he allows himself the liberty of even scolding him. Not that JM seems to mind (in fact, he said it's his hobby... he finds JK so cute doesn't he.)

Oh, but as much as informal and soft they are, they're also too into roleplaying and speaking extra formally to each other. They did this a bunch in AYS, but also in the Vlive I just shared. They're so silly, but I think this is how they like to flirt... does anyone remember that tweet where they were facetiming in the same room? The caption was also in very formal speech!! If that's what they like... LOL (please send the tweet my way!)

Jungkook also calls Jimin pretty a lot. Pretty and cute. Jimin calls Jungkook cute every five minutes, but I think this is well known even for those who don't understand Korean.

I made a post about this already, but JK calls Jimin 'hyung' more than it seems. I'm reminded always of this 2021 content for the JPFC where JK's drawing Jimin and he says Jimin is really cute, but he doesn't forget that he's older than him.

Point is, anon, they flirt a lot. Or they joke around by flirting a lot. Did you see this moment in AYS where JK tells JM that he gave him butterflies? And then Jimin replies in formal speech, 'please let your heart flutter as much as you wish.' That's so quintessentially Jikook it made me giggle.

But I don't think I understand their dynamic any better than other jikookers! Their bond is special to us in many different and unique ways. Whatever it is that they share, it's really special, sweet and loving. They don't have a strict hyung-dongsaeng relationship and I think that's really charming, and it shows through their speech as well :)!

A blog I recommend to know more about this side of Kookmin is dalloga. She's Korean so she definitely can give you a bigger insight of this aspect of their dynamic and more detailed translations!! Her posts are golden.

Thank you for this sweet ask!!

[qifreyrepublic]

ahh hiii! I saw your blog and was wondering if I could request a yandere!Chuuya x Male!Reader whose love language is d3@th thr3@t$??? I was thinking maybe the reader was perfectly fine with the yandere tendencies and has a weird way of flirting. It’s perfectly fine if not :]

example:

“Chuuya, I will take an apple and shove it in your mouth before lighting you on fire and burning you alive.”

Man has killer ribs (literally)

Note; Zero idea when you asked this! And my sincerest apologies for not answering, I perhaps... Forgot this account existed, per se... Also, DEFINITELY OOC, I wrote this T almost 12am and did not go over for spelling errors, nor did I put s lot of effort into the writing... I promise to rewrite this in the future.

Pairing; Yan!Chuuya x Threatening!Male Reader

TRIGGER WARNING; Death threats, possible relationship toxicity, death jokes. (Do NOT reinact anything depicted in this writing.)

DO NOT REUPLOAD!!!

"Doll... Can you pass me the wine?"

Chuuya said with an exasperated sigh, his hands moving up to undo his waist coat, allowing it to drop to the floor with a soft-- 'thump.' Before be reached down and scooped up the fabric from the floor.

"Oh yeah? How about I do ya' another favor and shove it so far up your ass that it comes out your mouth and you become s wine fountain? Well, you might as well be! You drink that shit so much I'm surprised you haven't turned red!"

M/N said with an overly sarcastic tone; His legs were thrown lazily over the side of the couch, allowing them to dangle down while his h/c cascaded against the soft, velvety, red couch cushions.

"Besides, Chuuya! You have legs that work! Use them. Unless you want to end up like that one agency member... Cuntikida? Kunikooda? Kunkidoouh? Something or another."

*With a soft eye roll, Chuuya reached into the wine cabinet himself and pulled out the fanciest and strongest wine he could find; The bottle's glass was a deep maroon color which constrasted against the gold accents that surrounded the label and cork.

With a gentle pop, the bottle was opened, followed behind was the sound of a gentle pour of liquid rushing down into a glass.

"Don't tell me that mackerel Dazai tried to break in to find you."

*A huff escaped the h/c male's lips as he tossed his phone to the side, allowing the device to land onto the glass coffee table with a thud.*

"And what if he did, leprechaun? What are you going to do about it? Use your powers and cross the fucking rainbow to beat his ass?"

*M/N said with a scoff before throwing his legs to the side, allowing him to sit up properly.*

"Besides, you won't even let me leave this place! It's only natural to be bitchy you stupid ass ginger! What? Are you lacking braincekss to-- Hey! Chuuya!"

*M/N yelped, squirming about as Chuuya had grabbed him by the back of the shirt before pulling him up and holding him in the air as if he were a wet cat.*

"What you need to do is learn how to behave, doll. Maybe then I would be more lenient about letting you leave without being under my supervision."

*The ginger said before walking towards the bedroom and dropping the male into the bad and slipping into the man's lap, straddling him in the bed while his gloved hand either held a wine bottle or was tracing the jaw line of th male beneath him.

"Besides... You know what happened the last time you misbehaved, doll."

Chuuya said as he took a sip of his wine before placing a kiss to the man's cheek; His eyes sneakily stealing glances at the chain that was still connected to the bed.*

"Whatever! This is why you failed go become the better Ed-Sheeran you Ayano ripoff!!"

.

.

.

"Would you shut up already?"

"I hope your motorcycle crashes next time you're out and you die!"

[melancoley]

WHAT MOVES THE WORLD

SYNOPSIS: when you’re born into a burning house, you think the entire world is on fire – that was kakashi’s reality. always surrounded by fragments of war, kakashi grew up with only the purpose of surviving beating in his heart. for him, nothing else existed in the world but war – that was kakashi’s philosophy. until you showed up. and, like spring, you came with the promise of hope and warmth and ended up bringing an inevitable change that would forever alter the life, and heart, of hatake kakashi.

PAIRING: hatake kakashi x gn!reader WORD COUNT: 5.811.

TAGS: soulmate!au, strangers to lover(s), fast-paced, unrequited love, kinda miscommunication. angst, fluff, hurt/no-comfort. CONTENT: gloomy kid kakashi. confused young-adult kakashi. heartbroken adult kakashi. shinobi reader. you are full of life & love talking to kakashi. conversations about stars, wars & love. he is the captain of your team one time.

WARNINGS: mention of sakumo's death but nothing explicit. you are going to break kakashi's heart, so be ready.

COLE'S NOTE: hiii, miss me? ♡ so !! this fic was originally a request and i posted this on my previous blog - if it sounds familiar, maybe u read the old version: ‘war & love’. i did some changes here and there to turn ur reading more pleasant and i hope i did a good job lol also !!! someone made one fanart based on this fic - if u know them/saw the fanart, please tell me so i can link it and give them the attention they deserve. ok, that's all ♡ have fun breaking hearts ♡

Not all stories are happy.

Not all soulmates are reciprocal.

Not all people could change their destiny.

Of course, in a perfect world, one person’s soulmate would also be another person’s soulmate. But reality went far beyond fairy tales and, as such, not all soulmates were mutual – and a person only knew their destiny when it was too late.

For years, people woke up with words tattooed on their wrists. They were simple, small words, just for the purpose of summarizing people’s love lives with their true love.

There were the luckier ones who woke up with little ‘fulfilled’ or ‘happily ever after’ on their wrists after their wedding. There were also those who had little ‘close call’ or ‘don’t try again’ written on their wrists on the coldest nights. And there were also those that read painfully ‘not destined’ or even ‘maybe in a next life’ that caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who received such words. There were those who liked it, there were those who didn’t mind a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.

The reality is that a person’s tattoo was already inscribed on them from the moment their soul found a body, always wanting to arrive at the right time to make itself noticed. And that was why no one could change their destiny.

But none of that matter. None of that mattered one bit to Kakashi. Because he only had one thing in mind: becoming strong and reliable. Kakashi didn’t care about dating or romance. Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi.

But, of course, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, no matter how much he showed he didn’t want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him even minimally interested in the subject. After all, parents only wanted the best for their children.

And that was why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on that cold, foggy morning.

“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos.”

Sakumo’s voice was lost amid the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded the territory.

There was a pause.

Kakashi didn’t deign to respond – he knew perfectly well where this conversation would end, he knew perfectly well what awaited him.

“The world is not driven by war alone.”

“Dad…”

Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show his total dissatisfaction.

“Not again. I have class in a bit.”

Kakashi stood up carefully and a little hesitantly. The truth is he didn’t want to leave his father alone. Kakashi didn’t want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing but deceive a person.

However, Sakumo gave him no other choice. The cheap repetition of stories and princesses and kings became tiring – there was no longer any surprise in his father’s speech, there was no longer any hope for Kakashi.

As such, he was determined to abandon his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short, uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.

“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”

Kakashi stopped his step with some abruptness.

That simple question from Sakumo echoed strongly inside Kakashi’s head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the little child’s sanity, making him question everything.

Why does war exist?

Of course, the main answer focused on people’s inability to be able to communicate with each other. There was also that need to come out and show their disgusting egos – that is the second answer to that question.

But there was something more.

There had to be something more.

People didn’t start wars just because they were bored.

…

Right?

Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi has lived in a world of war and from an early age he was trained and taught to live and survive amidst so much devastation and anguish. Kakashi’s entire existence was shaped around the thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world – war.

Would he have to know why?

In reality, Kakashi didn’t care if someone wanted to conquer the world, or if someone was kidnapped or killed unleashing days and months and years of pure destruction. Kakashi only had the mission to fight the war – that was all that mattered. Now the reason?

“I don’t care. Certainly the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don’t need to know why it started.”

Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, slowly losing sight of him as he began to be consumed by the fog.

Sakumo’s lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with it because he knew perfectly well what was going to happen that day – Sakumo couldn’t really smile, not when he knew the end was near.

But there was something else hidden in his smile.

No matter how loud the voices screamed in his mind, the reality was that Sakumo feared for his son. Sakumo feared that Kakashi would never experience the beautiful pleasures of love as he himself had once experienced.

And there was nothing to do. There was nothing to do when Kakashi only focused on the human intellect. There was nothing to do when Kakashi purposely denied all the emotions that moved the world. There was simply nothing to do.

And Sakumo kept smiling.

His cold fingers gently stroked a small ‘there will be more in the next life’ that was fading due to the passage of time.

Several memories of a short and intense love began to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn’t even notice when the sadness on his lips turned into hope.

That hadn’t been the last life with his beloved – Sakumo knew that.

Then, muttering the answer to the question he himself asked his son, Sakumo stood up as well.

He knew perfectly well that there would be a second chance for his love. He knew perfectly well that Kakashi would realize the reality of the world they lived in. He knew perfectly well that everything would end well.

After all, there has never been a war without love.

Kakashi had lost everything.

There was nothing left for someone so young.

At fourteen, Kakashi’s entire life fell apart before his own eyes. Without family or friends, without anyone who could support him, he had lost everything – including his way in this world. Kakashi was wandering through the days, lost on the path of life, with no knowledge of maps or no guides that could help him.

Kakashi had lost everything, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.

You appeared with the arrival of spring. Uncertain and always encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense shine of your sweet eyes, and wide smiles enchanting anyone.

You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of year. Your feet encouraged so many beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives were created by you, new paths were drawn by your bare feet. The innocence of someone who had not yet experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with an extra tenderness that gave your cheekbones small splashes of the passion that the sun felt for you.

That spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried something more than pure curiosity and amusement in your fingertips. You brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when he, very clumsily, stopped you from rolling with the log to the bottom of the cliff.

Quickly, like someone blowing a leaf, something formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was hard to be sure with Kakashi. But whatever you and he shared, you both knew it was something unique, something true.

A new stage in both of your lives was discovered in the other’s presence, a vast and longing wave of feelings beginning to form in you.

There was complicity between the both of you.

Since your first meeting next to that log, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity. Each one understood the other without the need to exchange words. A simple look, a simple sign, was enough for one to be understood by the other.

Days were spent together. Little secrets were exchanged amidst laughter and sighs, two distinct lives were soaked in pure melancholy, drenched in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.

And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.

Before you knew it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood. And what used to be so simple and natural now seemed complicated with so many glances and hidden smiles and that hint of desire that clung to every word you exchanged.

Quickly, like someone forming a smile, beyond that very natural friendship, something more emerged between you. Something deeper began to emerge between the two of you.

“I don’t understand people’s admiration for the stars.”

You stretched a little as you sat next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried protecting you from the cold wind of that autumn night. “It’s something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are maps and photographs of them everywhere. Why the fascination?”

“It’s like war.”

The rest of your team rested silently on the ground, wrapped and cozy by a small fire starting by you, the tranquility of a successful mission being noted by their deep and steady breaths.

You and Kakashi were relaxing on one of the many branches of the most colorful and sturdy tree near your camp, your vision completely focused on the vast starry sky and the faint line of the horizon painted by the small mountains covered in snow.

There was silence on the ground and there was silence in the tree branches.

The breeze had been encouraged by several clouds venturing along unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that very welcoming night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, slowly feeding on the desire of the most melancholy people who wrote to her. Every animal in the forest slept near you, the heat of the fire that crackled so loudly convincing the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night – except you and Kakashi.

“The war?”

You couldn’t contain the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke up nature itself for a brief moment. The breeze had returned to you only to take with it the pure sound you released, keeping among the various clouds and stars the memory of your innocent question and laugh.

“How does the fascination of the stars compare to the war?”

“Humans can’t live without them.”

Kakashi was leaning against the trunk reading one of his typical books. None of his words were of the slightest interest. His uncovered eye cautiously read each line of the book. And he just waited for an answer. He waited for your curiosity. He waited for you.

“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me non-human?”

Kakashi let a long, amused sigh escape his lips and grab the echo of your new laugh. By closing the book and adopting a posture more favorable to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements continue over time.

The relaxing crackle of the fire calmly accompanied your team captain’s gestures as you fixed your eyes on Kakashi in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up.

However, there was no rush in Kakashi’s movements – all the time he took to sit next to you and stare at the stars seemed like an eternity to you.

But finally, Kakashi spoke.

“Of course you live well without both. But would you be the same person you are if they didn’t exist? Would you be complete if they didn’t exist?”

“Are you insinuating that we humans need to have stars and wars to be real?”

It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just insinuated to you seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and nonsense. The indignation at those words was reflected in the way you looked at the various leaves that framed Kakashi in an ethereal casing of change.

What was once a peaceful setting has now become a stage for nature. Strong winds and thick clouds slowly began to appear, hoping they could continue listening to Kakashi’s thoughts. Small nocturnal birds greeted you shyly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest and made you smile.

“It’s what moves us.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the tree branch.

You turned to Kakashi and focused your attention on his relaxed posture. Curiosity was caught in your eyes, and an eagerness to prolong that conversation could be seen in the way you so firmly and enthusiastically pronounced the words. “But I still don’t follow your reasoning.”

“A’right, let’s go step by step.”

“Please.”

Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea.

His eyes were now resting on your very curious posture: your arms adjusted the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night; your eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of yet another conversation with your best friend; your smile warmed Kakashi more than any blanket or fire could do.

“The stars, yea? We all know that since ancient times they have been the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People in ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as gods and saw in them countless stories and life lessons. And the very own people of those civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture and to make decisions. Are you following?”

“Yes, professor.”

You let out another laugh as you placed your legs over Kakashi’s and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the ground and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi.

And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon being lazy that night. For, the pink tone he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only revealed how much he was waiting for that action of yours.

“So…”

A brief moment of silence followed after Kakashi’s statement.

Your captain’s reasoning was lost with your innocent act. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, something that had been repeated so many times. And, like every other time, Kakashi simply lost any coordination – the feeling of having you so close to him was fantastic, almost magical.

Thus, a brief moment of silence followed as Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, as Kakashi tried to grasp that thread without losing the very welcoming feeling of having you close to him.

“So,” he repeated again, his posture always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his rosy face. “People adopted these little habits from their ancestors and that’s why there are so many people who still marvel at the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”

“Why?”

Pause. Silence. Contemplation.

Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked. That was always the question that made sense to ask. Indeed, why?

Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why. You stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer why.

But the answer never came. The answer never showed up and beautified your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic. For, realizing that there really wasn’t a defined reason for that question, Kakashi continued his reasoning.

Your captain’s voice was drawn out and always monotonous as if it were perpetually stuck in a timbre that conveyed a vast sense of comfort.

And you listened carefully to every word Kakashi said. You listened attentively to everything he had to say, always trying hard to follow his thoughts.

“Now the war.”

Kakashi paused briefly and took a deep breath.

A sigh that seemed to be filled with tiredness escaped his lips without realizing it – the memories of conversations he had with his father were felt at that exact moment. And they weighed. They weighed so much.

“War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity there has been war. No wars, no humans. It is in our condition as human beings – it is our need. We crave destruction. We seek chaos. It’s in us. We need war to move us. Because, quite simply, we are the war. Without it, what would we do? Who would we be? That’s why there is fascination with it. That’s why there’s so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the war of the most romantic.”

“So, by that logic, love is the war of the most philosophical.”

Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye. The various and infinite stars reflected in Kakashi’s gaze showed that, in fact, he had not understood the use of your words.

Why did you decide to grab love out of nowhere?

Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of a conversation that was so special to both of you?

Why?

You noticed the confusion in Kakashi’s lack of reaction. You realized that there must be doubt in your captain’s thoughts. Looking at Kakashi, it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, fascinated even.

“Do you really think that it is only war that moves the world?”

Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn’t know.

Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn’t even notice.

In your captain’s mind, that last conversation he had with his father began to replay endlessly. Sakumo’s words came up whenever that dangerous topic was brought up – it seemed that Sakumo’s cheap philosophies tormented Kakashi until that day.

But it wasn’t always like that – no.

From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo’s haunting finally ceased.

There was no need to understand love because, quite simply, and even though he didn’t know it, Kakashi was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that tried to explain something he was feeling, even though he couldn’t decipher that specific something.

Therefore, for several years, Sakumo’s words that were imbued with understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi’s memory.

No. Wrong. The words were still there, safe, inside Kakashi’s heart.

And it only took your question, your question so similar to Sakumo’s question, to free the words and torment Kakashi again.

“Kashi?”

You let out a laugh.

Kakashi certainly knew there was something more than war. He positively knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. He had to know there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. Kakashi had to know all this – right?

“Love?”

The word burned in Kakashi’s mouth, his melancholic eye locked in your eyes, the reflection of the universe trapped in your fingertips.

“Love.”

Your response came with a real, genuine smile. Your eyes showed a light and tenuous sadness while a tiny hope threatened to collapse at any moment.

You spoke like love itself. Delicate and light, your lips pronounced that word with precision and extreme ease.

You spoke like love itself. Your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze. Your eyes were sad, scared and fearful of the drastic change of an event, of a feeling.

You spoke like love itself. You spoke in a mix of emotions that were foreign to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories was trapped in your expression and made Kakashi feel confused.

You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi could only speak like war.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Without any feeling, afraid of what his lips could utter, scared of the strength of the word itself.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. His every word and thought was completely calculated by him, no mistake to be uttered by Kakashi, the doubt that escaped his lips bringing a bit of wisdom.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Kakashi spoke knowing perfectly well what awaited him, he spoke knowing perfectly well the answer to his question.

And between war and love there was a brief moment of silence. A moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars.

Between war and love there was a moment of serenity that was heard only by your careful breathing, your gaze locked on each other, your smile slowly fading as time passed.

Love.

Was that the answer to his father’s question? No. It couldn’t be something so simple like that – but there was no such thing as simplicity in love.

“Love.”

Kakashi said his statement again, allowing a fragile and invisible line to escape his mask and take with it the bruning of that word.

There was something comforting in your gaze, something soothing in the way you held the blanket tight to you. There was something serene in the way you rested your legs on Kakashi’s, something welcoming in the way you and him stood together under that starry sky.

“Love” – Kakashi never found it easier to pronounce that word.

Days without you were boring.

Everyone knew that whenever you were on a mission without being on Kakashi’s team, he would roam the streets of the village like he used to do before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you simply didn’t make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to each other’s presence.

And that day wasn’t much different from the others.

Kakashi walked through the streets calmly. His feet shuffled without any energy, one of his hands sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face.

Kakashi didn’t pay attention to what he was reading or where he was walking. Having already read and reread that book so many times, having already walked those streets countless times, Kakashi didn’t need to pay attention – because something else occupied his mind.

Your mission was somewhat complicated and you left with a good team, yes. But Kakashi couldn’t trust them, not when your integrity could be at risk – Kakashi could only worry about you.

A melancholy trail was left by Kakashi’s short and relaxed steps.

His eyes read and reread the same page over and over as his mind wandered to so many possible scenarios that could happen to you.

How he hated being away from you at a scary time like that.

Kakashi had been your team captain enough times for him to know you knew how to take care of yourself. But you were also distracted and that was what bothered Kakashi. A distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune from the universe – everything seemed plausible when he was away from you.

He just wanted to be with you, to hear from you, to know that you were okay. He had to be with you.

But regardless of whether or not you managed to get home safe and sound, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you by his side.

Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into meaningless duels; even though Naruto and Sakura could fill a fragment of the void you created; even though he knew you would be back next week, the reality is that Kakashi simply couldn’t live the days in your absence.

Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of a love came out disguised in a novice and somewhat shaky pronunciation.

What could Kakashi do? Just wandering around the village without your company. Just wishing every day was shorter than the last. Just peacefully wait for your arrival.

“Today I received my words!”

Naruto was always so loud.

Kakashi lazily looked up from his book and watched Naruto talk excitedly to Sakura and Shikamaru. The smiles they shared with each other were big, contagious, as if enticing Kakashi to also let out a small smile.

“Hinata is my soulmate!”

“I got mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura let out a small laugh as she recalled her chaotic reactions when she discovered that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had destined for her. “What about you, Shikamaru?”

“Nothin’.”

A small sigh escaped Shikamaru’s lips and brought with it the hope of not having to worry about a soulmate anytime soon.

“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?”

“I don’t pay attention to that.”

A shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Shikamaru.

But Kakashi kept thinking. Without realizing it, all the younger’s’ speeches were obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, Kakashi had already received his words.

It was true that Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist – since that night, the mere thought of love scared him.

Once, Kakashi simply didn’t care about something as trivial as love. The mere thought of such a feeling brought only haunting of long, uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling. There was an extra fear that burned in Kakashi’s heart when he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about something as dangerous as love.

Ever since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn’t imagine that word without picturing you.

And Kakashi blamed you. Yes, you. You were the bringer of Kakashi’s destruction. Because, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world differently. And he blamed you. He blamed that word. He blamed all the stars.

But had any mark already been engraved on his wrist?

Leaving conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home.

A single goal was stuck in his mind. A single need ran through his heart. A single feeling moved Kakashi. Love.

The four walls of Kakashi’s room had never felt as cozy as they did at that moment.

It was the end of the day.

The last rays of sunlight were lost in Kakashi’s room. Shades of gold and hope burned fiercely in the three frames that rested delicately on his little furniture. Your face and Kakashi’s were adorned with light celestial tones from the last ray of sunlight, enhancing the joy and comfort that that photograph brought to Kakashi.

Night fell so quickly that it didn’t even give the sun a chance to warm Kakashi’s room.

It was cold.

The proud and bright moon contrasted with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give the various and diverse clouds their turn to shine.

There was darkness and there was cold.

In the midst of that discomfort, Kakashi looked for some warmth in his wrists.

His right wrist had nothing on it – the pale skin brought a bit of disappointment to him.

But there was still hope. There was still a second chance.

Cautiously taking off his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shining in the moonlight.

‘Almost’.

Almost?

Kakashi’s mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes repeatedly read and reread that single word that was carved into his wrist.

How long had it been there? How long ago did fate decide to steal you from him? Almost? Why ‘almost’? Hadn’t his confession that night been enough for you? Wouldn’t the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that forbidden word have been enough for both of you? Almost. Almost? Why? Could he have done something? Could he have done nothing?

A wave of corruption completely washed away any and all hope Kakashi might have had. The curiosity that once drove Kakashi’s gestures was entirely replaced by regret and frustration.

Could he go back? Could he do something to change that word?

Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you, maybe you would reciprocate his words.

No. Not ‘maybe’. Kakashi was sure there was reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word.

Yes. There was definitely still a little hope, even if it was small. And Kakashi knew, as years of war had taught him, that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applied to love. Right? – you said it yourself: love is the war of the most philosophical.

Yes. Hope.

‘Almost’ wasn’t the word Kakashi had chosen to dictate his fate, no. It was ‘hope’.

 Clinging to that small flame that had quickly lit in Kakashi’s heart, he watched the remaining days pass slowly and wistfully.

Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. He just wanted to cheat fate once and for all and grab the happiness he had been so deprived of. Would it be too much to ask?

‘Almost’. Pathetic.

‘Almost’. Of course it wasn’t almost – Kakashi would never allow it to be ‘almost’.

And when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him – he was determined to change his destiny, even though he was scared. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi’s eyes so empty conveying a bit of uncertainty, of fear, of regret in actions he should have done long ago.

Waiting for you for so long only gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder all the opportunities that were missed by him in fear of a confession made of decent words – he could make a list of all the waste that was lost.

The ‘almost’ was right.

Years passed – Kakashi should have known better. He had so many books about it, he should have known better. It wasn’t enough to just say a complicated word. It was not enough to just feel a complex feeling. Kakashi had to show – and Kakashi never showed.

But now Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.

Just like war, Kakashi came to you without any warning.

Just like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous embrace of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express his love, but you couldn’t deny that it was something that always made you smile.

You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly around his body, the way his strong arms squeezed you in a comforting embrace making you more relaxed. Although you had already arrived at the village two days ago, it was at that moment that you truly felt at home.

“How’s the mission?”

That wasn’t the question Kakashi wanted to ask – it wasn’t what he had rehearsed.

But you started a long, drawn-out monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks. A rollercoaster of emotions was reported by you as Kakashi listened attentively to every word out of your mouth.

And, while he listened to you, he looked intently at your arms.

Kakashi’s empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars. The curiosity to know your fate was what moved Kakashi’s eyes and forced him to look at your body.

Until finally he saw it.

‘It was close’.

It was close?

What absurd words had fate given you? It didn’t make sense.

Was it close that you didn’t end up with Kakashi? Was it close that you fell into someone else’s love trap? What did those words mean? What did they mean in a vast sea of ​​possibilities?

“And I got my tattoo on the way here.”

You extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your mark better.

‘It was close’.

“I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I found…”

“Him?”

Him.

Kakashi knew who you were talking about.

You didn’t need to confess names or draw portraits with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because he was the one you loved before you met Kakashi, and he was the one you loved during the early days of your friendship with Kakashi.

“Yea.”

The smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment displayed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a sense of comfort trapped in your confession.

Love.

Damn you.

“He walk with me to the village and is staying here. Today we’re going to our first date.”

And that’s when Kakashi realized – no one could change their destiny.

With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to nail long, painful barbs into his heart, erasing any hope he still had left, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi.

With a fake smile and tears trapped in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood his darkness, little stars of your joy faintly painting Kakashi’s pain.

Because, yes. Despite everything, Kakashi was happy.

Even though he would be happier with you, Kakashi was happy for you.

You overflowed with love.

Extreme happiness wrapped in a film of euphoria delicately filled your room. Your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived. Your wide smile managed to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn’t want to smile.

You were the embodiment of love.

You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it.

Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much of an impact as you did. He would never be able to find someone who made the word ‘love’ mean as much as you did.

It was the way you spoke so happily about each other. It was the way you still cared about Kakashi like you still liked him. It was your own way of being.

You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity.

You were, undeniably, love.

And the conversation that night never made as much sense as it did at that moment.

In Kakashi’s realization, in the midst of all the suffering caused by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi eager to see you. The way your company was still, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi. The way he still loved you after you caused him so much anguish.

You have always been the personification of the word love. And, just like the feeling itself, it was you who moved Kakashi’s world.

♡ feedback is always welcomed ♡

[poichanchan]

Hiii, someone relatively new to the phandom having just played through p5r, but can I ask how the swap au premise works? I'm curious what your own takes might be on how the situations for both joker and akechi happened to lead for them to be on opposite sides in comparison to the game! I tried to look it up a bit, but there's a lot of different headcanons, but I love your concepts so much I wanted to see if you had any particular thoughts on the setting :3

Hiiiii welcome to p5 brainrot jail haha! (genuinely though, welcome and im happy you enjoyed p5r!) Everyone has their take on swapAU, I specifically wanted to play with the idea of Goro and Akira swapping their ROLES ONLY.

In my AU Goro Akechi is still the son of Shido who is largely out of his life. Goro's life is a mess, his moms in rehab, and he is sent to Tokyo on probation (to his mother's friend Muhen the owner of JazzJin). I've adjusted Goro's life just enough to have him keep his childish love for justice. He finds his found family in the PT. Goro is a Snarky, whole, intelligent, a little mean, energetic, gets flustered, but also is passive and observant when he needs to be. HIS ROUGH LIFE MADE HIM GRUFF AND HONEST BUT HE ISNT JADED. Akira hates how shallow and transactional his life is. He has his awakening, ends up on Shido's radar via the research group he has in place to explore and exploit the metaverse. Akira's parents probably work around the research team somewhere and didn't think too hard about what they were getting their son into... a mix of negligence and wanting to get more opportunities as a family/bootlick. From there he has his forced 2nd awakening and gets ensnared in Shido's conspiracy. There is a lot of resentment in his life because of this, and when he is faced with Goro's existence, the literal SON OF SHIDO WHO HAS THE SAME POWERS yet life turned out so different for him because their roles are swapped its terrible. Akira is also very good at adapting to who he talks to like in canon. He is good at socializing and charming, thus the detective prince facade becomes a thing to help him gain access to deeper levels of mementos blah blah blah

Akira is also rationalizing a lot, he is seeing himself weeding corrupt people out, a hero getting hands dirty and sacrificing self for greater good. The metaverse is his stage. And he is THE showman. Detective prince Akira is more sweeping/showy/charismatic/flirty, his joker vibe comes through more normally. APART from the resentment Akira has for seeing Goro live his life the way he does, the resounding ITS NOT FAIR he feels in his heart, he also reeeeeally want the stupid phantom thieves to 'cherish your normalcy. stop messing with my plan. how fucking naive do you have to be to think THIS is justice?' COLD SEETHING FOCUSED FURY FROM AKIRA Its such a mess lol But i think hit Akira in the places that would make him play out the detective prince and Black mask bits without losing too much of his own flavor. His rationalizing is important, otherwise i felt he would feel the moral conflict harder and withdraw instead of being showy and sweeping. Also for their social links i have thoughts, i think detective Akira's special place would not be... jazzjin. I think he would drop by like canon Akechi drops by Leblanc, but nothing more. I have in mind a place up high at a height, something like the Shibuya Sky observation deck as a place he personally visits often to reflect and stare at the massive view of the city from. It felt right to have him up there looking down alone but comforted by it. Plus eventually share the view with Goro who he sees as this actual fated rival for all the reasons above. Their outfits are the way they are because i did not want to change them too severely in colorpallette or essence but wanted to play up some parts of their personality and represent it in the outfits. AND BECAUSE THIS IS A SHUAKESHU BLOG I NEED TO STRESS THAT because they are less jaded, because Akira is bolder and flirtier and Goro is more stubbornly optimistic about this dark world akira sees, they get closer alot faster, which makes the whole black mask and interrogation room bit very messy/

added pix to make post spicier THIS IS A MASSIVE POST BUT IM GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I DUMPED MY THOUGHTS IN ONE PLACE FINALLY. there are some other things ive thought out a tiny bit, like hobbies etc but i put them down later when ive developed it more etc @ anyone reading, thank u for reading and these are my personal thoughts i am thingying to entertain myself!!!!! dont be mean to me thanks ;v;

[btnclmrttn]

Hiii I am new to your blog and I really enjoy your writing ^w^

Can you do a headcanon or one shot (I don’t really know the difference) of saitama having a op s/o? I feel like he would be motivated to train and to try and defeat her. if you end up doing this thank you :D

(How I would say the difference is a one shot is a short story while headcanons are a list of things that COULD make a story. I like those better bc that's how my mind writes stories tbh. In chunks)

OP S/O Headcanons

~~~

Backtrack a bit, could you imagine that MEETING?Like he witnessed this freakazoid monster get folded by what he assumed was a pedestrian at first. Now you had him a bit curious. What were you doing? Undercover hero? Secret villain? He had to ask

He did compliment your ability to pack a punch. Out of his own curiosity, he asked how it felt. He wanted you to give him a punch like that. Completely straightforward that he could probably take it, and he was just curious.

After some convincing, quite a bit of it as a random stranger asked you to basically kick his ass, you give him a decent one. It did not kill him, but Saitama was surprised to find himself unable to keep balance and was sent flying. Despite preparing for it, it landed him on his ass with quite a bit of pain!

He was so bamboozled you almost managed to walk away. He was back up and caught you again, asking if you held back. Man wanted a real punch! You were insisting on not hurting him, so you declined. He let you go off, then went home and pondered the rest of the night. Could this be? He might have found a match?

He ended up finding you again and insisted on inviting you over for dinner. He wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day and was also going to observe the shit out of you

Over dinner, a meal he made himself, he had eye contact with you that was hard to get away from. He wasn't screwing around in the slightest. Despite the conversation trailing to similar interests, hobbies, it circled back around to your guy's biggest relation: strength. He opened more and more the more he saw himself in you, and you both decided to have a real spar. Even a wager. Loser buys dinner that day.

You guys found a good open area away from people to wreck shit on. The spar was an interesting one to say the least. You kept knocking Saitama down, and he kept bouncing back up. Even though it wasn't so well in his favor, it almost gave you a run for your money. Your strength might have pushed over, but his stamina and willpower almost got you.

The final time you got him down, you made sure to hold him there and tell him to knock it off before he hurt himself. He was the most sweat drenched he's ever been, wheezing with an old pain in his chest he thought he'd forgotten, and echoing with pains he would feel for the next week. It was all your doing. Bro fell in love right there

He was absolutely more than motivated to pick up training again, but it had to be with you, as you're the only thing he hasn't maxed out on. It was good for you too to have an ever growing challenge by the week. You certainly could keep each other busy. He's a fast learner, and determined to show you what he can do. Maybe a little obvious he's trying to impress you. He's got a wager in plan for the future. He gets you down, you're going out with him!

[90s-suplex]

Hiii I just wanted to say I really loveeee your little blog since I'm deep in the trenches for stone cold Steve Austin lmao (down bad)

it's literally so sad to hardly come across good stories about him (involving a reader) so I decided to hit you up and shoot my shot Abt requesting a little story where he's still in his attitude era but is also quite comforting and actively being caring through either his words or actions towards the reader. I'm never opposed to a little smut but if you don't want to for any reason then I don't mind it being left out.

Ofc if you're unable to or unwilling to write something like this then I completely get it and respect you for it. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

I also wanna apologize if I did this wrong since this is the first time I'm kinda interacting and actively being busy on Tumblr so it takes some getting used to haha

AN: based on this Steve Austin & Michael Cole segment because it lives in my mind rent free, I‘m sorry 🤐 (in case the hyperlink doesn‘t work, just search up ‚Stone Cold attacks Michael Cole‘ on youtube lmao)

I‘m not sure if you could classify this as ’actively taking care of reader’, I promise I tried writing something comforting & fluffy at first but since Austin is a smug lil‘ bastard this took a detour :3 I‘m sleepdeprived, so I hope this makes any sense lmao !

reader is genderneutral and not a wrestler :)

Summary: After witnessing Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s gradual decent into paranoia, you decide to talk some sense into him.

Tw: implied sexual references, mentions of wrestling typical violence

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“We're backstage with former hardcore champion Kurt Angle. Kurt, thank you for joining us for this quick interview," greeted Michael Cole the moment you turned on the TV.

A couple of minutes ago, Stone Cold and you had arrived at the arena. Being one of the top draws of the company, Austin had the luxury of a private dressing room and tonight you had decided to join him there instead of waiting for him at the hotel. 

Since he wasn’t scheduled to appear on TV until later parts of the show on this particular day, the two of you showed up when TV tapings were already well underway. After dropping off your belongings, you sank on the couch and switched on the TV to find out what had happened so far, while Austin went into the bathroom to get ready.

“Last Monday Night on Raw is War, the hardcore championship was on the line in your match against RVD. Stone Cold Steve Austin interfered and cost you the title when he tossed you down from the stage onto the concrete floor 10 feet below.“

Kurt pressed his lips together into a tight line as he listened to Michael Cole rehash last Monday night‘s events.

“Tonight you will team with Chris Jericho to take on RVD and Stone Cold Steve Austin,“ Cole continued. 

“How do you feel going up against a man like Austin, who has total disregard for your physical well-being?" Michael Cole implored, leaning closer.

“How do I feel?“ Kurt answered after snapping his head back, “I feel the same way about my tag team match tonight against Austin as I will at Unforgiven." 

The camera slowly zoomed in on Kurt. There was a film of sweat covering his face. He shifted his attention away from Cole, now pointing his index finger directly at the camera before he spoke again. 

"I feel like kicking Austin's ass. And after kicking his ass, I am gonna take his title. I will walk out Unforgiven as the new WWF champion." 

You looked over your shoulder. Said championship belt laid on the opposite end of the couch. You leaned over, grabbed it and took a good look at it.

"What?" a muffled voice came from behind you.

Oh, this will be interesting, you thought to yourself and placed the belt on your lap. It rumbled briefly before Austin opened the bathroom door and stepped out. 

"What did that sumbitch just say?" he asked you with his head cocked to the side. Austin had just finished changing into his black ring trunks, holding his shirt and jeans in his hand. 

You reached for the TV remote on the desk before you and turned up the volume.

"Kurt wants to kick your ass. He said he's gonna take your title too, while he's at it," you replied. 

Austin snorted in disapproval. He tossed his clothes onto a spare chair in the corner of the dressing room, shaking his head. "Good luck trying," he spat out.

With three quick strides, he stood next to you. "Can you believe the nerve of that guy? He's lucky this ain't a one-on-one match tonight."

He sank down onto the sofa. "Tonight he can hide behind his tag Team partner. But Kurt knows I can beat his ass any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.“ 

He paused for a moment and his eyes darkened, “Hell, I can beat both of their asses at the same time!“

You rolled your eyes. Over the last few months, Stone Cold had become increasingly more paranoid. Granted, he had always been quick-tempered and cocky. However, these tendencies had intensified drastically, reaching their peak the night he attacked Michael Cole on live TV, throwing ridiculous accusations at him and harassing him. 

The fast-paced life, countless hours on the road and injuries had worn him out, there was no denying that. He was on edge most of the time these days both on and off camera, always eager to start arguments with whoever crossed his path, though he never took his irritations out on you.

On the outside he was closed off, only allowing a handful of people to get to know him on a deeper level. You found it quite amusing how surprised other people would be to find out how he behaved behind closed doors when he craved your soft skin. Whenever you decided to join him on the road traveling from city to city, he’d always be thankful as you were his sweet little escape.

Regardless, you had grown tired of his mood swings and wanted to talk some sense into him. You felt bad for Cole. But knowing how stubborn and bull-headed Stone Cold was, you knew this could prove difficult. Especially since you weren’t part of this business. 

On the other hand, you weren‘t stupid - his abrasiveness was part of his appeal - both to the crowd and to you. You knew that and Austin did too. 

Your fingers drew mindless circles on the championship belt on your lap as the next match had just started on your backstage TV. 

“It‘s pretty, ain‘t it?“ he mused and pointed at the prized possession on your lap. His features had softened, revealing a slight smile.

You grazed over the ridges and nodded. 

“What‘s it made out of?“ you asked. Your reflection stared back at you from the squeaky clean golden surface. It couldn‘t be made out of real gold you figured - at least not entirely. Still, it had to be somewhat valuable.

When he didn‘t reply you looked back at him. He was scratching his beard.

“Ha! How .. ironic,“ you teased him drawing out your words. “You wanna whip Kurt‘s ass for trying to take your title but you don‘t even know if it‘s worth a dime?“

He exhaled, “Well, I don‘t know the specifics. They don‘t matter anyway.“

Austin moved closer to you and pointed at the nameplate on the belt. It displayed Stone Cold Steve Austin in capital letters. “You see? It’s more about the ideal value than the material one.“ 

“You do know I need my title back later, right?“ he snickered while playfully nudging your knee.

His hand stayed there and the two of you were silent for a few moments.

He spoke again, “Technically, it‘s not worth much. Some kind of cheap alloy.“

Aha. So it‘s worth nothing after all.

“But every time I go out to the ring, I bust my ass trying to make it look like the most prestigious thing in the world,“ Austin explained while he let his hand slowly trail up your inner thigh.

Your skin prickled under his touch. 

“And I‘d say I do a pretty good job at that,“ Austin squeezed your thigh lightly before he continued in a low tone, “What do ya think?“

He did. That‘s why you were curious about its actual worth in the first place. But you decided you’d rather mess with him a little bit.You returned his gaze. As he cocked his eyebrow awaiting your response, you simply shrugged half-heartedly.

“Kinda, I guess.“

Your answer earned you another chuckle from him. “Hard to impress, I see.“

With a final squeeze, he stood up to go fetch his training bag. You watched him leave to tape up his wrists in preparation for his upcoming match, but still felt his touch linger on you. As soon as his back was turned to you, you shifted on the couch and cleared your throat. Moments later, he returned to the couch along with his bag. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eyes as he pulled out his knee braces and put them on. 

You sank deeper into the couch. Suddenly you felt incredibly stupid. You were chewing at the inside of your mouth, pondering on how to tackle this topic.

“Have you ever thought about taking it down a few notches?“ you began and crossed your arms over your chest.

For a second, Austin seemed genuinely confused.

“Your attitude, I mean. You’ve become so irritable over the last months,“ you paused. “And paranoid. Lashing out at people, stirring shit up...“

Now he seemed to understand what you were trying to get at. 

After he finished adjusting his knee braces, he rubbed his face in a contemplative way. 

“Maybe you should take a break?“ you suggested.

He immediately dismissed the idea. “If I do that, I might as well call it quits. You heard it yourself, Kurt is itching to take my spot, as are all the other guys. You call it paranoid, I call it being prepared.“ 

Austin leaned back and put his arms on the back of the couch, “And I‘d rather be prepared than surprised and stabbed in the back.“

“Okay, I get that. But don‘t you think you‘ve taken it a bit too far lately?“

Images of Austin‘s unfair attack on Michael Cole on live TV a couple of weeks ago flashed before you. 

“Attacking staff? Really?“ you shot him a stern look. “Did you really have to stoop this low? You know Michael-“

You got interrupted by a big, hearty laugh from Austin.

“This is about Cole? You feel sorry for Cole?“ he chuckled.

You failed to recognize what was so funny about your remark.

“Don‘t worry, he can take it. Besides, he had it coming,“ he justified his actions. “He should know better than to run his mouth. He‘s been around long enough.“

When he noticed your dissatisfaction, he let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He was tired and he didn‘t want to start arguing with you. 

“But if it makes you feel any better, I can go talk to him.“ He didn‘t flat out say ‘apologize‘, but this was a good start. Better than nothing. 

Your face lit up and he regarded you with a certain spark in his eyes that you couldn‘t quite place.

Once again he inched closer towards you, “I don‘t get why you‘re getting worked up over this. As far as I am concerned, I‘ve always taken real good care of you. Ain‘t that right?“

He paid close attention to your reaction as he placed his hand on your thigh again. “Or would you say otherwise? I‘m open for critique.“

With his hand resting on your thigh, you knew what he was alluding to and you had to admit - he was right. He had always been more than … generous with his affection towards you. The heat between your legs returned and you cursed yourself for reacting that way right now.

“I saw you squirming earlier, “he added when you took too long to reply with a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

Great. And here you thought you were being discreet.

“This isn‘t about me, so don‘t try switching the topic.“ 

Austin raised his hand defensively, “Nobody‘s trying to switch the topic. I simply asked you a question. That‘s all.“

You exhaled through your nose and rolled your eyes with great exaggeration, making sure he saw it. “Yes, you‘re right,“ you disclosed in a flat tone.

„A bit more enthusiasm wouldn‘t hurt, you know. Should I be worried now?“

You stifled a laugh. You were supposed to be mad at him! 

„Feeling insecure now?“ you said and patted the back of his hand.

Mere seconds after those words left your lips Stone Cold grabbed your waist and sat you sideways on his lap.

You were briefly taken aback by the way he picked you up as if you weighed nothing and felt your cheeks heat up. He reached out to tuck one hair strand behind your ear. 

“Don‘t worry, I’m quite robust.“ 

You avoided his gaze. How long until he had to leave for his match? You turned your head to check out the time on the clock behind you. Immediately, he took advantage of you exposing your neck. Austin‘s lips brushed over the thin, sensitive skin on your neck and you held your breath. 

“But I’m curious now. Go on, tell me. How do I make you feel?“

He grinned against your skin as his hand found his way under your shirt, slowly wandering up your back. 

“Don‘t I make you feel good?“ he murmured before slightly biting at the nape of your neck, which had you biting back a moan. 

“Lost your tongue now, huh?“

Oh well, now that you thought about it, you had successfully gotten your point across. Considering the fact that Austin would have to leave for his match soon, you might as well continue this conversation another time you decided.

He bit you again, waiting for an answer.

You pressed your legs together. “Y-Yes, you do..“

Shifting in his lap, you moved in to kiss him, but at the last moment, he pulled away. 

You blinked at him with your lips still pursed. What?

He seemed to revel in your disappointment. 

“Sorry,“ he gestured at the TV behind you. „Gotta get going.“ 

He maneuvered you back onto the couch and got up.

“What’s that sour face for, sweet-cheeks?“ he teased.

He lowered his tone. “I‘ll be back in 30 minutes. You think you can wait that long?“

You sat back and crossed your arms over your chest. Eventually, you nodded and handed him his title. 

A few seconds later he was out the door.

[greensagephase]

You know from time to time I find myself thinking about nonviolent commutation? Like the story and everything and how well it's written and just??? (Also I JUST realized a week or so ago the same comes from the spiderverse song??? That's wild I love the song Im listening to it a lot lately???)

And one thing that sorta came to mind? Was like. Can you imagine Jess has Miguel watch her baby for a while? (Maybe even just for a mission) Who's much smaller and calmer then Mayday and just mainly sleeps in his arms. And he's never held a tiny tiny baby in his arms for this long, little baby hands reflexively grasping his large fingers and babbling? And he just gets caught daydreaming, how cute a baby would be with Druz's nose and hair, and then he thinks about how Gabriel's eye color would be something he'd like to see again and keeps going until he goes bright red because he had been unconsciously mixing their traits for a baby??? Where did that come from?!

Hiii, nonny!! Thank you so much for the ask!!

Omg, thank you!! I’m touched that you think about NC sometimes and that it’s well written, that makes me so happy! 🥹 And hehe, yes! NC is titled after the song from the Spider-Verse album! I have a post somewhere on my blog about it with an entire explanation. It’s a lovely song imo, and I found it fitting for this fic. It’s one of my fav songs from the entire album! 💕

But okay okay okay okay, nonny... You’re on to something here, I’m afraid!! I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH!! Like, I'm giggling and kicking my feet about one, Miguel holding a tiny baby in his arms!! The thought alone is so cute, omg! Can you imagine how small the baby would look in his big arms?!?! And two, Miguel thinking about a baby with some of his and dulzura’s physical traits (also, Miguel thinking about wanting to see Gabriel's eye color again - you've gone straight for my heart with this one!😭 We all know NC!Miguel loves and misses his little brother sm and I bet he'd cry if he got to see that beautiful shade of brown in his child's eyes, reminding him of his little brother - I'm gonna go cry, brb), and then realizing he’s been thinking about a baby from you and him? I need to take a moment to process this cuteness!!

!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I’ve finally stop screaming, but I’ll be thinking about this all week!! Let me just tell you that something's happening in the next chapter and it could def lead to something like this in the future, so… 😌 I won’t say more, but just know I love this idea!!

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you’re having a wonderful day/night, nonny! 💖

Alondra❤️

p.s. now I’m gonna lay in bed and think about this until I fall asleep

[sachirobabe]

Hiii if u still need Kuroo reqs can u do Kuroo hcs with y/n who is an astrology girly and can analyze natal charts?

Thank you sooo much and pls just take your timee!!! Oh btw since ur blog name is related to Sachiro so of if you dont mind can u do him too? (i just love him so baddd 😭😭)

im loving these requests rn, you’re making my brain work so ty sm🩷 i hope this meets your expectations!! i also cannot wait until more of sachiro gets animated, he’s one of my absolute favs😍

psa— i am not that knowledgeable about astrology or natal charts so i did some research and i hope i did okay

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡

Kuroo Tetsurou

-`♡´- initially, he is very skeptical about astrology, but he’ll be curious since you enjoy it. He’ll listen intently as you try to explain the basics to him and he eventually finds himself a bit intrigued by how detailed and personalized the charts are

-`♡´- after he lets the basics sit in his head, he eventually asks you to analyze his natal chart, curious to see if it would be accurate. The two of you are sitting in his bed and he listens attentively as you tell him how his Taurus moon means he’s passionate and intense—he’ll tie that into volleyball somehow and how competitive he is

-`♡´- once he starts to get the hang of it, the two of you develop some inside jokes about star signs. For instance, whenever Kuroo is being stubborn, you’ll tease him about his Scorpio rising—and he hates to admit it, but it puts a smile on his face

-`♡´- before games, Kuroo gives his lame sciency pep talk to his teammates, but he’ll start adding in some astrological terms after learning his friends natal charts, Lev and Kenma absolutely hate it, but they’re outnumbered by everyone else

-`♡´- he’ll find himself looking for astrology-themed gifts that he thinks you’d like, maybe a necklace with your astrology sign, or a custom star map of the night he asked you to be his girlfriend

-`♡´- the two of you like to jokingly compare natal charts between your friend groups and laugh at how spot on or off the predictions are

Hirugami Sachiro

✧.* hirugami is a lot more open minded and genuinely shows interest in your passion, he loves to watch your expressions and hearing how excited you are to talk about it

✧.* when he’s feeling a bit anxious, you’re always there to reassure him and offer him some insight to how the current planetary alignment could affect his moods and you’ll offer your best comfort and advice based on his chart

✧.* he’ll listen to you explain how the influence of his moon signs can alter his emotions and he asks tons of questions to learn more about it, finding some comfort knowing there’s cosmic reason behind how he feels sometimes even when he thought the day was perfect

✧.* hirugami often buys you gifts like books or keychains with his and your astrological sign, he loves seeing you happy and he’ll continue to do it

✧.* if the weather is nice, he’ll lay some blankets at a quiet park or even in his back yard and the two of you will read together, he’ll sneak peeks from behind his book to watch your cute concentrated face as you learned more about astrology

✧.* he’ll surprise you with some newfound knowledge on astrology that he took time to learn in his free time to impress you and have deeper conversations, you’re touched by his effort and enthusiasm

✧.* when he tells hoshiumi about what he’s learned, he does not take him seriously, but after hirugami constantly talks about you and how smart you are, he comes around and asks you to analyze his natal chart—hirugami is behind you the entire time, offering his own insight and asking questions as you go

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

Everybody Wanna Take Her Heart Away

REQUEST: Hi hiii~ First off, a happy birthday to you! 🥳🎂 Wishing lots of happiness in life 💖 I've read some of your works and I really like your writing style! I saw your Mostro Lounge event and it took me a while to decide (because there's so many options that are sooo good; I'm indecisive haha) but I finally chose one! So I'm wondering if I could request F!Reader x Azul with the song "Steal My Girl" from the Azul to You playlist you made? I was thinking about a scenario where someone keeps pestering F!Reader to go out on a date with them (even if she already said no) and then Azul saves the day! Swooping in, holding you close by the waist, declaring "find another 'cause she belongs to me" (you get the reference 👀 haha) But I understand you already have a general idea for each so no worries~ Also, I'm sorry if this was long hahaha Again, happy birthday! Sending you cakes!! 🎂🎂🎂 Thank youuuu! ✨❤️ - @escha-evenstar

SUMMARY: Azul doesn't like how other people flirt with you. WORD COUNT: ~600

WARNINGS: Ace flirting(??) with you and making you uncomfortable, Ace does not get any hints, Azul is protective and a bit too jealous maybe?? Azul also maybe be a bit ooc. A/N: Okay so I'm not really comfortable with writing an explicitly female reader (it gives me gender dysphoria) so I did make this more neutral - however, I did try to make it as fem as I could, but I'm sorry if it's not specifically what you wanted! I love how I started writing this a month after your request, life's been hectic and I keep making rp blogs (to procrastinate on my homework). Someone needs to stop me. (I also started playing JP Twisted Wonderland too... I have a problem). I'm so sorry this is so late!! Thanks for the happy birthday wishes, I can't even believe I'm a year older now... Wow. For this event.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Azul didn't like this.

There you were, sitting all pretty and gorgeous. And he didn't mind that - he loved seeing you.

The problem in question was with Ace.

The first year had been coming up to you what seemed like every day, asking you to go on a date.

And sure, Azul knew that you wouldn't agree - you weren't the type of person to do something like that - but that didn't mean that he wasn't jealous.

He knew that he didn't make your relationship that public. Sometimes holding hands, walking you to class… That was mostly it. Most of the Octavinelle students, as well as some of the second years, knew, but other than that? Hardly anyone.

And anyways, he didn't want you to get more attention than was necessary.

Maybe Ace didn't know, and that was why he was doing this… But surely Grim had told him. Unless Grim had a problem with him too…

He gritted his teeth as Ace sidled up to you again, a casual arm slipping around your shoulders. Though, a small smile crossed his lips as he saw you shake his arm off.

"C'mon, kantokusei. One date?" Ace nudged you gently, a grin on his face. "C'mon, I know you like me~"

Azul sighed softly, feeling a small pang in his chest. Perhaps Ace wasn't entirely wrong, and that was why you hadn't given him a hard no? Yes, he saw you push Ace away multiple times, tell him to stop… But obviously it hadn't been harsh enough to drive off Ace.

Still, a nagging feeling in him told him that perhaps you weren't able to be assertive enough to get Ace to listen. Maybe he should jump in…

Over the past couple of weeks, you had gradually grown uncomfortable around Ace. You viewed him as a friend - just that, nothing more and nothing less.

But he seemed to view you as something more. And that definitely made you feel less than friendly toward the first year.

Even as he tried to touch your arm again, you whacked his hand away. "Stop it, Ace."

"But-"

The orange-haired male was cut off as Azul walked up to the two of you, a casual arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

"What seems to be the matter?" Azul's voice, though polite, had a bit of an edge to it. His eyes were slightly narrowed, annoyance flashing in his gaze.

"Hey, I was just being friendly toward kantokusei, and teasing them a little bit-"

"That is definitely not the case, and both of us know it. Find another person because kantokusei-san belongs to me."

Azul's voice was cold - it was pretty clear that he was at his limit.

Ace seemed to back off after that, turning and walking away. You breathed a sigh of relief before you looked at Azul.

"Thank you for that," you said softly, moving to hug him tightly.

"Of course. It's my duty as your boyfriend." Azul was glad that you were happy - it seemed he had made the right call. He would have to make sure Jade and Floyd kept a closer eye on Ace… There was no telling how he could start harassing you again.

Still, as he held you close to him, he felt himself relax. Everything was fine - you were content, you were safe, and most of all? You were his.

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

This post has details for requesting. Please check it out!

[dazed-poltergeist]

hiii, call me 🍀 anon :D

can I get some relationship headcanons with Edward Kenway since the fandom is kinda lacking in those 👉👈 btw I love the pirate theme on your blog

Hhhhgysygddisdj dearest 🍀anon I feel the need to tell you that youre my first request and I feel honoured lol,, thank you for the compliment and for the request :DD

Idk if I did enough of them though ( TT0TT) you might be getting less than you asked for

__

How did the two of you even meet? Or fall in love? That is a mystery up to your imagination :) There are so many possible scenarios here and I won't tackle any of them

After you two get together, Edward becomes more mindful of the activities he drags you into, whether you're capable of handling yourself or not

For example, he doesn't visit taverns that frequently anymore and makes sure to stay out of fights as much as possible whenever the two of you end up going.

That also applies to sailing out at sea with him. Ofcourse he lets you come with him since you insisted, but with you he tries to stick to waters where the ships aren't as formidable as a frigate or a Man o' War: Mostly some schooners and brigs.

But!! That doesn't mean he will become a pacifist towards enemy ships whenever you're on board. Hint hint wink wink

One time though, he did go into more dangerous waters near Kingston for harpooning, he caught a hammerhead shark to impress you

I don't see Edward as big fan of PDA, but whenever he does anything like it, it's subtle, like little kisses on your face and wrapping an arm around you. He prefers to keep everything more than that behind closed doors and away from prying eyes.

Besides physical affection, he likes to spoil you with gifts sometimes, like beautiful clothing or accessories if you're interested in these, or some treasures he finds from shipwrecks and convoys, or perhaps other kinds of trinkets that you like or that remind him of you.

You end up making some new friends out of his own friend circle, "mi amigo es tu amigo" [my friend is your friend], if you may. James, Anne, and Adewale are who I have in mind mostly, they appreciate your company and the impact you have on Edward. Although they would make you nag Edward a bit on not pirating as much as before lol

[jesters-constantly-writing]

HIII!!🎀

First of all, your page/ aesthetic is so cute!!! Also TBHK writer spotted :0!!!

I'm a sucker for tbhk 😞🫶

So could I please request Teru Minamoto with an s/o who likes making things and gifting them to him? Like you know, those people with ten bazillion hobbies? Maybe they knit/crochet him a muffler or bake him cookies or sculpt him something from clay or make him a paper bouquet or make them matching stuff, etc!!

I'd really appreciate it if you could write for me! I really, really like Teru's character-

But it's okayy if you reject my request!🫶🫶

Thank you for your time!! Hope your blog grows rapidly 💌!

A/N: OH MY GOD HIIIII AHHHHHH IM SO SORRY I DIDNT GET TO THIS SOONER, ITS BEEN SUPER BUSY WITH ME DHSKSBKSS!!! YOURE AWESOME AND IM ALSO A SUCKER FOR TBHKKKKKKK 😞🙏🏻

TY FOR COMPLIMENTS AND REQUEST, HOPE TO GET MORE FROM YOUU <333

SORRY IF TERU IS KIND OF OOC ITS BEEN A HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE WATCHED TBHKKKK BUT HERE WE GOOOOO!!! ENJOY!! :3

CW: None

Genre: Pure FLUFF

Synopsis:

Teru Minamoto—one of the most popular guys in school—gets gifts all the time. Not a big deal, right? He never seemed to mind much. Not until you came along <3

This is GN!Reader btw, hope ya don’t mind :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow…. Yet another gift? You sure you aren’t getting tired of them?” A peer of Teru’s questioned as he stared at the gift bag that was left on his desk. He stared back at them and smiled.

“Jealous, are we?” He asked with a smile. Currently, he was sporting a necklace made by his partner. His partner was notorious for gifting him many things. Why in the bag, there was fresh cookies, a knitted sweater, a clay painted heart, and a scrapbook. His partner, you, gave him so many things… they all laid carefully in his room. To be admired. To be worn. To be cherished.

“No I’m just…. How do you own so much stuff? Like…. Are you able to keep every single thing?!”

“Well of course I am. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” Teru smiled and picked up the bag and looked at the peer in question, “Now if you’ll excuse me…” He went off, to find his partner.

He made his way outside, a plethora of people talking as they looked at him and his bag, while he did so. He found you standing outside, trying to attempt to hide something as best as you could. He watched and smiled, walking closer. He was almost like a cat with the way he walked. Quietly, carefully…. Almost like he was meaning to scare you.

Teru put a gentle hand on your shoulder, making you jump slightly as you turned your head back to look at him. “Well hello there, darling.”

“Teru! Hi!” You smiled as you turned around, still keeping something hidden behind your back. Teru tried to look over to try and see what it is, but you made sure it was hidden nice and well.

“Darling? What are you hiding?”

“You’ll see in a moment! Tell me what you thought of your surprise!” You smiled as you walked closer to him, slightly elevating yourself to be closer to his lips. He smiled and kissed your head gently.

“They were all very thoughtful, like always, darling.” Teru smiled and ran a hand through your hair with his free hand, “Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it every time…”

“Welllllllllllll….” You smiled as you pulled out what was behind your back. A stitched teddy bear….. you could tell it was home made based on the stitching job. Some of the threads were still hanging off—not yet cut off and the right eye wasn’t sewed perfectly on.

Teru stared for a moment, marveling in the work and craftsmanship of the bear. He smiled and looked at you, watching as you messed with your necklace. “You made this?”

“You know it! Finished it in class!” You smiled and hugged onto his arm. “You think it looks good? I couldn’t tell because it was my first time ever but I really wanted to go all out for you…”

“Oh darling…. It’s perfect.” Teru kissed your head and smiled at you with a soft sigh, “It’s perfect….. like everything you have for me….”

“Yay!! I’m glad!!” You exclaim with excitement, looking at him with the brightest smile ever. That smile. That’s why he loved everything you made him. Sure, it was nice to know he was cared for because of these gifts…. But it was also because it made you so happy. And it made him happy to know that you spent all this time and dedication on something you loved to do.

After a moment, you both began to walk home. He dropped you off at your home, walking home himself after. He made it to his house, greeting his younger brother and sister as he walked to his room to unwind.

Upon entering his room, one would see many gifts scattered around. On his desk you could see every claw creation, every matching necklace and bracelet, and paper flower bouquets you’ve ever made for him, on his walls every hand drawn card you’d ever handed him, a corner of his room filled with old cookie tins that used to be filled with the delicious treats you’d given him, and on a hook on the back of his door with every knitted scarf you’ve ever made him. He had everything. Every. Single. Thing.

He gently placed down the bear on his bed, placing the bag down and rummaging through it quietly to find where each part went. Up went another hand made card on the wall, down went another clay creation and freshly baked goods on his desk. Up went the knitted sweater on the book, down went the scrapbook onto his bed next to the bear.

He glanced around the room and smiled, sitting down. He messed with his necklace for a moment before grabbing the scrapbook, leisurely skimming through the book as he hummed a gentle tune to himself. The pictures you had managed to capture of you and him were cute. Just a compilation of your dates and study halls together. But it was still so damn sweet and he loved it so much.

He laid down on his bed for a moment, hugging onto the bear as he looked up to see the string of pictures of you and him on his ceiling. He smiled and took a deep breath, getting up again to place the scrapbook on his desk.

He was starting to lose room in his room, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care one bit. He loved every gift you ever made him and he refused to throw them away. He refused to ever put them away so the world couldn’t see them.

That would just be disrespectful to his darling, wouldn’t it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: AHHHHHH IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT DHSKSHSKSJSJS ITS BEEN A BIT SINCE IVE WRITTEN AN ACTUAL X READER 😞🙏🏻 I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! MORE TO COME HOPEFULLY AND A MUCH MORE TIMELY MANNER!! HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT!! AND REMEMBERED YOURE LOVED AND YOURE AMAZING <33

[chaseprice]

hi!! hope i’m not a bother. i just came across u and i wanted to ask something,,,

basically, i joined the life is strange fandom in 2018 so i never got to experience the pre-bts era, meaning i didn’t get to experience what rachel was like to the fandom back then or see the different interpretations of her.

i did some digging and i found some fan content of her from 2015-2016 & i’m absolutely infatuated with all aspects of the fanon version of her, especially her personality & how she looked. i totally wanna embody her. also the love is strange vn was so interesting to play, i love how she was written. i’d love to know more!

i stumbled across ur blog while i was doing my digging and i saw an old long post of urs saying how bts didn’t live up to the fandoms expectations, as almost everyone perceived her differently.

sorry for all the yapping LOL but what i basically wanna ask is,,, how *exactly* did the fandom perceive rachel back then (2015-2016). what were some popular headcanons for her? things you guys even considered to be canon? what were some of your own *personal* headcanons? (can be silly, realistic,,, just anything you thought resonated with her)

do you have any favorite arts from that time period that you thought really captured her? what were your hopes for the prequel/rachels character before it was released? what did you want to see in terms of story? was rachel’s style, appearance, & personality extremely different than what you expected? what did you expect?

i assume that rachels treatment in the fandom was different then than what it is now. whether it’s better or worse, i’m not sure. i was hoping u could answer that too😞. recently i’ve just been seeing constant hatred or lack of care for her character so i’m starting to think that if bts was written differently and based on the fandom’s interpretations instead, the hate now wouldn’t be this bad.

from my digging it seems like you guys had alot of fun sculpting rachel’s character on your own, and the interpretations were probably more realistic than what decknine put together.

anyway i’m sorry for the yapping essay on this random saturday, most old lis accounts are dead & i didn’t know who else to ask☹️. just trying to relive what you guys experienced the best i can. hope i’m not bombarding you with this. thank you so much if u respond !!

hiii u def did not bother me, i am not in a position to answer all of these questions, but although it makes me feel ancient, it's cute to see so much passion for rachel and pre-BTS fandom opinion, so i'll try answer some and for the rest (art, hcs, etc.) im just gonna have to direct you to my archive* (will continue under the readmore)

*(tumblr archive is so broken on mobile so you gotta go on pc for this, but also there's so many gifs from that time so it will Definitely slow down your browser). i was insane and 17 years old so like, just excuse all of the cringe content i guess. you can click tag and filter it by either #lis #rachel amber #amberprice or whatever to try and find stuff like art. and i got into lis sept 2015 so that's like, as far back as it will go, but i was fully lisbrained from 2016 through 2018)

to be honest, in alignment with pre-bts thought lmao, rachel is whoever you want her to be. there was less of 'this is a correct objective fact about her personality/history' and more 'yeah, this is an idea the fandom really likes and has become fanon, most likely because it is a nuanced and entertaining and realistic interpretation of what we have seen of her character in lis1' which means people whose opinions conflicted with that might've be contested/laughed at/unpopular, but they weren't wrong per se. there were plenty of people i'd criticise (and ridicule) back then for implying that this teenage girl was evil, and being a teenager myself back then, i'd call them morally reprehensible and cancellable and whatever, but tbh, as an adult now, i can just see that it was simply a boring interpretation of her character informed by misogyny

i'd disagree with the notion that fandom treatment of rachel's character was better before bts, back then there were plenty of people seemingly excited to characterise her as emotionally manipulative, a cheater, deserved what she got, etc. as well, bc tbh, the story did leave room for that interpretation, but it left room for so much more as well. i feel like bts just really locked in on a certain story they wanted to tell plot-wise, and didn't choose to explore a lot of the questions fans had about rachel as a person. it's hard to turn the ambiguity of a friendship turned situationship over a period of 4 years into a playable experience for an audience - so they didn't. regardless, it got people thinking about rachel more, putting a spotlight on her, hence increased attention both positive and negative. i feel like there's just a fundamental difference between what lis1 fans enjoyed about the potential for her character and how she related with chloe and the world around her, and what deck9 wanted to portray in bts (yes they hit the astrological headcanons, the charmingness, her rebellion, the emotional conflicts... but it personally felt hollow, contrived sometimes, i suppose). but there were a lot of people who loved bts (i enjoyed a lot of parts of it!). just, in my opinion, some of those were quite different people from who loved lis1, and with that wave it brought a lot of emotional immaturity to the fandom (like... ship wars, really? that was an insane change to fandom dynamics for me lmao, but maybe i was just spoiled by surrounding myself with people whose takes i respected)

anyway i highly recommend also that if you're hungry for that kind of content, read fanfiction on AO3 by the old fans - by Mogatrat (TON of rachel centric ones there), explosionshark and tippytypewriter, chicknparm (though Cusp is written post-bts, it's informed by pre-bts characterisations), vicepoint (me hehe), def many more good ones out there those r jus my friends so they come to mind first, e.g. i liked homecoming by kriegersan back in the day, but you could def find some more by sorting the lis ao3 page by kudos and reading the older ones that are highly rated featuring rachel. and lastly, my gf wrote a beautifully worded blog post called "The Assassination of Rachel Amber by the Cowards Dontnod and Deck Nine" which gets into some of this from a media crit perspective (not about fandom) in a very eloquent way thru comparison w twin peaks and i highly recommend that

rachel hcs that def started way before bts: skater rachel, stoner rachel, punk music listener rachel (but also like, fleetwood mac cranberries cocteau twins grungy hippy stuff rachel too), rachel's parents being distant and still living in california, curvy thick rachel, things that i've accepted as canon but were def created by diff people: bri explosionshark hc'd that rachel paid for chloe's sleeve, mogatrat (i think) hc'd that rachel initially went to get her nips pierced with chloe (that's a longtime fan hc now idk who started that one) but chickened out at the last minute, i think she also hc'd that chloe made the earring for rachel which is cute too

[satansbiggestkinnie]

< 𝐉𝐄𝐖𝐄𝐋 𝐃'𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 3

HIII I MADE AN OBEY ME OC ROLEPLAY BLOG!! (@jewelofhell) FOLLOW IT PLEASE AND SEND ASKS-- UHH THE INFO IS ON MY MAIN CAUSE TUMBLR DRAFTS CAN BE ANNOYING.

Personal - Basics

[Race/Species]

Demon [X] Angel [] Human [] Other: [X]

[Age] 17

[Birthday] September 15

[Height] 193cm/6'4

[Fingernail Polish Color(s)] black and yellow

[Hair color/description] They actually have strawberry blonde hair,a mix of their father and their mother. However,due to their disdain of Asmo and their love for Mephistopheles,they dye it magenta like him. But a light shade. You can see the roots a little. They like to style their hair in a long mullet,because they feel like it contrasts Asmo.

Personal - In-depth

[Gender or no | Pronoun(s)] Transfer - She/It/They

[Sexual/Romantic Orientation or lack thereof] Omni + poly

[Occupation Before Devildom Life] Being a lonely child who was left to die in the streets by their mother.

[Favorite Color(s)] Magenta + red + orange + blue + pink

[Personality] Jewel is rather shy and nervous when around people she admires. But when they find someone or something they like and/or trust,they get SUPER energetic and bubbly. And despite being Asmodeus's child,they're quite insecure. Despite it's kindness,they can be MERCYLESSLY blunt by accident. Also,sometimes,they don't take others' feelings into consideration,as hard as they try to.

But..

The thing is,sometimes it feels like it doesn't have a personality. Like she only ever feels emotions when she wants to make someone happy.

All their opinions come from others.

MBTI: ENTJ

Ennagram: The Investigator (?)

Zodiac: Leo

Personal - Other

[Likes] Spicy food,drawing,murder, and chaos (secret),gossiping,surfing,math,Mephistopheles,Raphael,Thirteen,Lucifer,and Spiderman,Levi and Thirteen's passionate rambling,when Beel gives them food even though food has lost it's taste a bit

[Dislikes] Themself,sweets,Asmodeus (sorta),dogs,enemies of Mephistopheles,when people are disappointed in them,their mom,when Lord Diavolo doesn't pay attention to Mephistopheles,being ignored,being left alone

[Positive Traits] Kind,excited,bubbly,supportive,loyal to a fault

[Negative Traits] Blunt,uncaring at times,cold,self-loathing,empty

Relationships

• Fears | Dislikes | Acquaintances | Friends | Close Friends | Crush | Loves | Indifferent | Tolerates | Respects | Suspicious

[With Demons]

Lucifer - "Lucifer..? He's.. SO COOL!! I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HIM!! Just think about how he never leaves his family - he does everything for them! He would never leave any of his loved ones ever!! :3"

Mammon - "Mmm.. I don't like it when he causes trouble for Lucifer. But sometimes he buys me stuff. Most of the time, I don't feel anything about them, though. I do like how genuinely energetic and caring he is. Makes me.. jealous? I'm not sure."

Leviathan - "He's so passionate.. despite how much he hates himself. I wish I was like him. Is this envy? Is this what it means to feel? I don't like it. Nonetheless,I like learning about him and his interests."

Satan - "Satan? ...I suppose I can relate to him.. but he's such good friends with.. my dad. I don't know if I want to talk to him."

Asmodeus - "My dad? He.. He's fine!! Just a lil awkward!! :D"

"Why did you leave me to rot. I'm like this because of you,I hate you,I hate you,why am I like you,why,why,why,WHY-"

Beelzebub - "He's so fun and uh silly as the kids say!! He cares about his family a lot and I admire him for it!! :D"

Belphegor - "He.. worries me. Is this what I might be if I become to rude? Show my real self? I don't want that to happen.. yet at the same time,I feel bad for him. But I find him incompetent as well."

Diavolo - "I guess it's nice to hear how passionate he is about humans. Honestly.. sometimes he scares me. Or annoys me even. None of that matters because Mephi and Luci love him,so he's okay in my book^^

Barbatos - "Intimidating!! :( But why is he so afraid of rats? Is he dumb? I'm sorry.. that was rude."

Mephistopheles - "He means everything to me. He was the one that found me and took care of me. I want to be as genuinely caring as him one day. He's like my dad!! <3"

[With Angels]

Simeon - "Wooowie!! How nice and kind! You're hiding something behind that dumb smile. I'm sorry But then again,being treating with such kindness is nice. But I still feel empty. And.. Lord Diavolo doesn't like him,and Mephi likes Lord Diavolo.. so maybe Mephi hates Simeon? I'll have to check before deciding on the correct and smart decision."

Luke - "Mephi likes him,then so do I! But.. I don't interact with many children. They seem.. pure. And genuine. And vulnerable. I wonder,is it because he's an angel? I feel strangely protective towards him. I'm not letting him get hurt!! Physically and emotionally.. even if it means I have to lie about the taste of his baking."

Michael - "He sounds interesting.. Luke likes him so maybe he's super,duper,cool? :>"

Raphael - "I wonder how it feels like to be able to show your cold demeanour without being judged.. just stop poking spears at people!! :("

[With Others]

Solomon - "Mm.. he's best friends with my dad.. and he keeps trying to get me to like both of them. I do appreciate the little house he gave me in the human realm.."

Thirteen - "SHE HELPED RAISE ME!! >< She's super cool!! I tried to make my fashion sense like hers and Mephi!! Dontcha just love the mischievous Grim Reaper? And she dedicates so much time to her craft!! It's impressive!!"

Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Favorite Job(s)] Anywhere they can make someone proud

[Favorite Place(s) to Hang at] Mephi's house

[Favorite Food(s)] Sour gummies + Luke's baking

[Favorite Class Subject(s)] Devildom History (cause they like reading about Luci and Mephi)

[Favorite Devildom Version of Something from the human realm] Akuzon

Least Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Least Favorite Job(s)] None

[Least Favorite Places to Go] Asmo's room for bonding time

[Least Favorite Foods] Anything that hurts your tongue

[Disliked Class Subject(s)] Any lust related subjects

[Stuff that Can be Considered a Negative About the Devildom] Being viewed as weird and/or hyper

Personality Chart