#also hey stranger I feel like it’s been a while :0!!
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wavypotatochips · 2 years ago
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hey, can I request kylian's dating a supermodel and she's modeling for savage x fenty so when her pics and videos of the show get posted online, his teammates jokingly mess with him to try to make him jealous but instead kylian just gets all smug bragging about his gf 😏 he's still lowkey jealous tho but only hakimi or ney notice bc of how well they know him 😂
𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 | 𝐀 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐛𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲
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𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Kylian Mbappe x Female Reader
𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: YAAAY FINALLY MBAPPE RECOGNITION !!!! Mbappe and NeymarJr deserves more requests !! My babygorls <3 Sorry if this is a bit short, as I wrote this specifically in response to your request rather than constructing a "story-like scenario" because I wasn't sure how to build up to this point. c:
I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ♥
Kylian Mbappe is a young and talented French soccer player who has been making waves in the world of sports for many years now. Recently, he has been in the headlines not just for his skills on the field, but also for his relationship with supermodel, Y/N. When his girlfriend's pictures and videos from the shoot were posted online, his teammates couldn't resist teasing him to try and make him jealous. 
The team is currently unwinding and rehydrating in their locker room after practice, waiting for the team manager to arrive and speak with them as he promised to do later. Sergio Ramos stumbles onto a Savage x Fenty advertisement while relaxing and scrolling through Instagram. He smirks as he realizes that you, Mbappe's girlfriend, are the lady in the picture. Other than Hakimi, you haven't met the team yet because your modeling schedule prevents you from attending his games. Yet, he always shares pictures of the two of you online, so it's clear that he knows you exist. "Watch this," he murmurs, nudging Kimpembe. “Damn Kylian, is this what you'll be seeing when you come home?,” Ramos says while glancing at his phone. Kylian raises his eyebrow in confusion. Ramo flips the phone around so that the other teammates can view in addition to Mbappe. It's a picture of you on a bed wearing red lingerie for the brand. Kimpembe, who was aware of his plan, joined in by saying, "Y/N is fine as ever, why don't you let us meet her?" Verratti throws his arm around Mbappe and pokes his cheek while saying, "It's because he knows I can take her away,"
Mbappe felt a burning anger rise inside him as he listened to his friends hitting on his girl. He could feel their eyes lingering on her body, their words dripping with thinly veiled flirtation. It was enough to make him want to lash out, to tell them to back off and leave her alone. But he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't let his possessiveness show, not in front of his friends. He had to keep up appearances, had to act like it didn't bother him, even though it did.
As he releases Verratti's arms, Kylian makes a phony laugh, saying, "She has a height restriction, you have to be 5 '10." Verratti, who is barely 5 feet 5 inches tall, playfully pouts and walks away.  The boys laugh as Kimpembe says, "6' 0 is better thought," and daps up Ramos as they are the same height. They were all taken aback by Kylian's response, though. Instead of being unhappy, he grinned from ear to ear and began boasting about how gorgeous and wonderful his girlfriend was. Kylian shakes his head and says, "She's so beautiful right? I can't take my eyes off of her that's why she hasn't come around during the games ," maintaining his phony smile. He tried to focus on other things, to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling that was building inside him. He laughed at their jokes, made small talk, and tried to act as though everything was normal. But it wasn't. He felt like his friends were trying to stake a claim on something that was his, and that made him feel vulnerable. It was one thing to be jealous of a stranger, but when it was someone he knew, someone he trusted, it cut deep.
Once more, Sergio torments him, "You need to bring her next game so she can meet me. I'll show her what a real man is like."
“Trust me. You can't handle her like I can," he remarks, hinting at something sexual. Despite his smugness, Kylian was still secretly jealous of all the attention his girlfriend was receiving. He didn't like the fact that his teammates were constantly talking about her, but he didn't want to let them know that it bothered him. Only his best friend Hakimi noticed that Kylian was feeling a little lowkey jealous. Hakimi knew Kylian so well that he could see the subtle changes in his friend's behavior. 
Hakimi tries to divert the conversation by saying, "You are so focused on Y/N like you did not get nut-megged and scored on by Neymar during practice."  He did so successfully as everyone started to laugh and point at Ramos, some of the players even walked up to him and slapped his head. Mbappe was aware of Hakimi's actions and mentally praised him. Mbappe didn't want to seem possessive or insecure. He wanted to be the confident, easy-going guy that everyone knows him to be. So he kept his feelings to himself and tried to be the bigger person. He knew that his friends didn't mean any harm, that they were just being friendly and playful. But he couldn't help feeling like they were crossing a line.
You have always loved Mbappe's extreme possessiveness toward you. If you had been in the locker room, you would have been impressed by his ability to control his emotions.
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hyuckbeam · 2 years ago
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hit or miss
you’re given a bet by your own best friend to finally earn you some kissing experience at the ripe age of 18, but what if he’s the one you’ve been wanting to kiss all along?
pairing | bff!haechan x reader
genre | fluff, just a bit of angst
warnings | y/n uses she/her pronouns, both y/n and hyuck are dumdums! kind of slow burn, curse words are explicitly mentioned, cousin!winter, i think that’s all but lmk if i missed anything!
wc | 4.3k words
note | this is pretty inspired by the webtoon “the kiss bet” because i currently have a hyper fixation on it and i absolutely love all the characters ;0; this is also way longer than intended but anyways,, i hope u enjoy! all rbs and likes are appreciated, thank you <3
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D-15.
“in three, two, one, happy birthday, y/n!” your best friend, haechan announces aloud for everyone in your apartment complex to hear at 12 in the morning.
“come on! make a wish before the candles blow out!” winter, your cousin, urges you with a big smile on her face.
having just finished your night time routine and prepared yourself for a night's worth of sleep, you were rather shocked to see them with one of those trendy bento cakes and rainbow colored party hats adorning their heads.
despite your confusion, you walk up towards them with a grateful smile resting upon your lips. “seriously, when did you guys plan this?”
“oh, it was all my- ow, hey!” haechan gets cut off midway through his statement because of a nudge from winter’s elbow.
“what he was trying to say was it was all my doing. you’re welcome bubs!” your cousin beams, eyes creasing into crescents. “though i’d wish you’d hurry up. this cake isn’t holding itself up for you, y’know?” she adds on rather playfully but you can tell she truly meant it.
gathering a deep breath, you blow out the candles and cheers erupt from the people you deem closest to you. winter then sets down the cake on your coffee table in relief as your best friend slings his arm over your shoulder.
“sooo y/n, got anything planned for the year? a small resolution or something like that, i don’t know.” he rambles off, suggesting the idea of having a goal to work towards now that you were deemed an adult (though, haechan kept referring to this as the year that marks your jail-ability era).
you feel a little tingly from his touch, even when you know the two of you are just friends and nothing more. what you’re feeling is probably just a phase. it’ll go away.
“i’m not really sure, got any ideas for me?” you ask the two instead, eyeing them both in a back and forth motion.
“we can always work on that dating experience of yours- last i remember, it was up to the high number count of… zero.” your cousin chips in from the side as she slices the cake for the three of you to share, her tone sarcastic while she teases you.
it’s true, you didn’t have a lot (re: any) of experience in the dating sector, but perhaps that could change starting this year. “that… might not be such a bad idea.”
haechan’s interest seems to have been piqued — he’s making that look. that specific expression where the corners of his lips turn upwards, a brow raised, and that glint in his eye. oh, you know it all too well.
“come on.” you urge the boy. “start sharing your idea. i can practically see your mind ready to explode.”
“well, since you’ve asked me ever so kindly. how ‘bout a bet?” he starts, taking a few steps towards you with that cocky expression of his. “i bet you 10 dollars to kiss someone in two months. not that hard, right?”
“what- you want me to kiss some random person for 10 bucks?” you gawk out in surprise.
he only shakes his head, “i never said it needed to be a stranger. just, someone in general.”
you processed the idea thoroughly, running all sorts of possible scenarios in your head. wouldn’t it be much easier to kiss… haechan himself? that just seemed like the most plausible approach for you.
he wasn't a stranger — the furthest from one. you were comfortable with him. the kiss didn’t have to mean anything (though it might mean a tiny bit more to you), and in addition, you’d be making some cash.
everything seemed to check out. the only problem was that you had to ask him to kiss you. still, surely this was better than any other alternative, right?
“i’ll do it but… can’t i just kiss you and get it over with?” you finally voice out your thoughts, pretending to make your question sound playful in case the request backfires on you.
“you’re my best friend, that’s a little odd, don’t you think so?” haechan replies in the same tone, lightly ruffling your hair before going over to retrieve a slice of cake from winter.
ouch. way to have your first bit of “dating experience” be your best friend… friend zoning you. what a lovely start to your 18th birthday.
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D-13.
a few days had passed since the bet you made with haechan had been established, but not one ounce of progress had been made.
to be fair, how were you supposed to kiss someone else when all you’ve ever wanted was for that kiss to be with your best friend? that’s tough luck.
you attending classes today doesn’t really help with your thoughts either, especially when both haechan and winter had been asking about said progress one after the other.
you’d be lying if they weren’t starting to give you a headache.
as if on cue, winter approaches you, some lecture books in hand and her bag slung on her shoulder. “y/n! how’s your progress?” here we go again.
“just as i told you yesterday, nothing yet.” you reply with a small sigh.
winter senses the frustration behind your words, encouraging her to suggest ideas to help you. “how about finding someone you like? it might make it easier for you know… to kiss them.”
“i don’t think that’s still a good- actually, you might just be onto something, minjeong.” your gears start to churn in your mind. in order to wash haechan off your mind, you might as well find someone else and maybe get an actual relationship out of it.
the idea was just perfect for you.
“have i ever told you how much i love you? i gotta go but i’ll see you after class, winter!” you excitedly bid her a goodbye, rushing to your classroom so you could better plan out your new gameplan.
though the most ideal situation was long gone, you now had a back up plan and you weren’t going to back down so easily from the bet.
you were now busily scribbling on your notepad, forgetting that a new student was to transfer into your class today. the teacher calls upon your attention and as you look up, your eyes land on a boy with great resemblance to a cute bunny.
apparently he’s the new transfer student.
the teacher gives him a moment to introduce himself. “hello everyone, my name is na jaemin. i hope we all get along!” so that’s his name, you thought to yourself.
surprisingly, he was told to take the seat in front of yours, offering you a small smile and a curt wave, one that you gladly return, before he takes his seat.
actually, maybe you really could forget haechan for just a teensy bit.
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D-6.
a week goes by without haechan seeing you once. an entire week. was he always this eager to see you? to bask in the warm sight that is you? he thinks he must be going crazy.
the only time he ever gets updates about you is through winter which aren’t much to go on. he does remember a key detail she mentioned previously about how you’ve been spending time with that new student, jaemin.
what was so special about him anyways? well, he was surely going to find out soon.
as the bell rings to signal the start of recess, he dashes out of his classroom, taking big steps towards yours.
there, haechan finds you in his seat and he’s about to approach you until he sees you’re in the middle of a conversation with the one and only, na jaemin.
“this is how you do this, right?” jaemin asks you, directing your sight to a piece of paper that has a bunch of math formulas written on it.
“yeah! i’m surprised you got that rather quickly.” you compliment the boy in front of you with a small laugh.
your thoughts on jaemin have changed drastically since the first time you met him. he’s a sweet boy, someone you could never take advantage of. it just felt wrong to you so you just dropped your entire plan as a whole.
it was alright to lose the bet. at least you kind of made a new friend out of it, right? you smile to yourself at that thought.
to haechan, however, your smile is so bright in jaemin’s presence, it’s practically blinding everyone in sight. have you ever smiled at him like that? wait- why does that matter?
he doesn’t like you, no way.
you’re best friends, yeah. his love for you is as platonic as can be — at least that’s what he tells himself.
for someone as bold as haechan, he can’t seem to find the confidence in him to walk towards your table and steal your attention. instead, he steps out of the classroom, unnoticed by you.
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D-5.
“JAEMIN DID WHAT!?” haechan yells into his phone, winter being on the receiving end of the call.
the girl tuts, “scream one more time and i’m hanging up on you. and yes, i heard he confessed to y/n. i don’t think she gave him an answer though.”
“sorry, look, i was just really surprised.” a deep sigh comes out from haechan before the call goes silent. he takes the time to process the situation, but the idea of you and jaemin being together just rubs him off the wrong way.
“doesn’t she see how bad he is for her?” he finally reasons out.
“uhuh, in what sense exactly?” winter retorts.
“he’s probably just using her to gain attention or something! can’t i look out for my own best friend?” the response is laughable, even to haechan, but he goes along with it.
winter laughs into the call, “are you even hearing yourself? that’s pretty baseless, even for you haechan.” she replies shortly afterwards. “seems to me like you’re jealous.”
“are you hearing yourself, winter? no i’m not! get your head screwed on properly!” haechan answers back in the same incredulous manner as she did to him just a few seconds ago. “who would i even be jealous of?”
“jaemin. who else? i think it’s pretty clear to most. you aren’t that great at managing your feelings, y’know-” the girl’s voice cuts off for a second, “-oh, i’m being called to dinner now but seriously, get yourself together haechan. i know you like my cousin. bye!”
the line goes beep and haechan tosses his phone onto his bed. she really did just leave him hanging like that. how could she after bringing that idea up?!
jealous? not a chance. haechan never gets jealous.
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D-4.
haechan wakes up the next day feeling tired, having not slept a wink after winter’s words kept replaying in his head.
i know you like my cousin.
you like my cousin.
you like her.
and these same words follow him as he makes it all the way to school. perhaps seeing you in school would help him understand his feelings better.
he really just wants this to be over with.
with trudged steps, he makes his way to your classroom and luckily enough for him, there you were already in class before the first bell rang.
he blames it on the lack of sleep but you look so ethereal sitting down in your chair as you bop your head lightly to the music that’s presumably playing on your earphones.
the sight is something to behold- that is until he pivots his head ever so slightly and sees jaemin accompanying you. god, why does he have to be there.
so maybe haechan does get jealous. sometimes.
maybe that’s why he acts without thinking, swiftly dragging you from your chair and out to the school courtyard despite your protests.
“hyuck let me go-” you grumble, tugging on your arm but he doesn’t budge one bit. it’s only when you reach a bench in the furthest part of the courtyard he decides to get go of your wrist.
“seriously, what is wrong with you?” you scoff out in disbelief. “this is the first time we’ve spoken in days. i think you could’ve just asked me if you really wanted to talk.” with the addition of those words, haechan finally realizes what he’s done. he knows it was wrong but he isn’t going to back down from the argument that was brewing between you two.
“me? how about you? you’ve been so lovey dovey with mr. perfect all this time! don’t you have yourself to blame on why we haven’t seen each other in so long?” he spat out coldly.
your heart sinks, and yet, you can’t help but feel even more enraged. its true, you’re part of the reason for the lack of communication between you two. after all, communication is a two way system. but doesn’t that also mean he’s also to blame?
“i enjoy jaemin’s company a lot! is that so wrong?” you shoot back, biting your bottom lip before mumbling the latter part of your statement. “at least he isn’t as grumpy as the person standing in front of me.”
ouch.
the boy hears this and gets ticked off even more. maybe it really is the lack of sleep but he seriously can’t understand her reasoning anymore. instead, he assumes she’s just doing all of this for the bet.
“do you really want to win the bet so bad? if that’s what you want, just kiss me and be over with it. i’m literally letting you win. you can stop seeing jaemin now.”
and that’s when it hits you a little.
why is he bringing the bet up all of a sudden when you just want a genuine relationship with jaem- oh. he couldn’t possibly see you as someone like that right? he said it himself! he doesn’t like you and even denied your request to kiss him a few weeks ago.
but, if that were all true, what other explanation would there be to his actions?
he takes your silence as a no, prompting him to leave you in the courtyard all alone.
you couldn’t seem to understand him at all no matter how hard you tried.
as soon as you got home from classes that same day, you rushed yourself back home and into the comfort of your bed and pillows — treating them as if they were your closest confidants and cried while you shared your troubles.
it wasn’t productive on your end but it was much needed for you to at least think straight. you’d been bottling your contemplations all day long after all.
here you are laying lifeless on your bed, using all your braincells to dicern what the fuck happened earlier this morning.
you know haechan doesn’t like you. you’ve said it to yourself so many times now.
maybe he’s just jealous you’ve been spending more time with jaemin because, although you have different intentions before, you realized you couldn’t see him in that way nor had the heart to just use him for your own gain.
haechan was a different story though. you feel flushed just thinking about him, knowing full well the both of you are in the middle of an argument between each other.
remembrance of the frustration hits, making you groan at the thought of having to remedy it. if you and haechan had anything in common, it would be the stubbornness you both share.
the last time you both got into an argument this big was back in junior high. neither of you spoke to the other for an entire month. it got so bad that both your parents had to call each other up to devise a way to get an apology out from the both of you.
though it would make the entire situation much easier, your parents no longer delve into these types of problems — and neither do haechan’s. you’re both all alone to fix this one yourselves and you wish you’d been more grateful to your parents for mending your relationship with haechan.
deep down, you already know the both of you will struggle to find the right timing, but you certainly hope that day would come soon. you didn’t exactly like being away from him either (even if he made you feel like shit for the rest of the day).
you decide to sleep off your worries for the night, hoping and praying that tomorrow would be a better day for you.
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D-3.
tomorrow is not any better of a day.
jaemin and haechan both invited you to eat with them for lunch which quickly escalated into a light argument between the two. you couldn’t even bring yourself to butt into their conversation, seeing how they were fighting over something so silly.
“i’m her best friend, we do this pretty much everyday!” you hear haechan yell at jaemin, his frustration for the other getting the best of him. “plus, i need to talk with her. without you.”
“if the two of you are just best friends, then what gives you the right to dictate her answers?” jaemin fires back, keeping a calm and collected appearance throughout.
this shuts haechan up and the entire cafeteria goes dead silent. oh boy, did you want to curl up into a little hole. everyone was staring and you didn’t like that one bit.
nevertheless, you decided to be the bigger person — uttering a small apology to jaemin before walking off to the table you usually sat at with haechan — the latter following you a few steps behind.
neither of you speak as you begin to eat your separate meals, another sign the relationship between you two was starting to fade out into dust.
winter joins your lunch table shortly after witnessing the drama unfold, she looks at haechan with an unreadable expression and the boy stays quiet during the whole meal.
didn't he say he wanted to talk? an apology for the day before would have been nice.
you get fed up by the silence, placing your food back on the tray before picking it up. you mutter a quiet “i can’t seem to understand you at all.” directed at hyuck before leaving and switching over to the table where jaemin and his friends are sitting.
it all happened too fast and haechan didn’t realize you were leaving until you already did. he really did want to talk but how was he supposed to do that after having that situation with jaemin?
he wanted to calm down first but you had other plans. you really left him in shambles this time.
winter can’t help but sigh at the ongoing conflict. she silently wishes she wasn’t involved this much if it was going to turn out like this.
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D-2.
haechan knows he truly has to make it up to you (including a long overdue explanation of why he’s been acting weirdly the past few days) but doesn’t know how to do that. apologies never came easy to him. his mind couldn’t help but go blank everytime he tried thinking of a way to approach you without making things more complicated than they already are.
the sheer amount of times he’s hit a brick wall has him calling the only person who probably knows more about you than he, himself, does.
he picks up his phone, searching through his contacts before landing on a single person, now waiting for the phone to ring.
“hello?” winter’s voice reaches him through the call. “i knew you’d call after what happened at the cafeteria.”
it takes a moment for haechan to answer, “maybe if jaemin wasn’t so aggressive–”
“you both were. now spill, have you gotten your feelings sorted yet?” the girl pushes his dramatics aside, getting straight to the point.
“i… think i do. you were right all along.” haechan finishes. although it was hard for him to admit at first, now that he’s actually said it out loud, it might be the first time he’s been feeling a sense of clarity after so long.
winter hums at his confession. “at least you’re finally taking a step in the right direction. now, to win her back…” she smiles to herself, already having a plan in mind.
you, on the other hand, have been seeing haechan and winter together often for the past week. naturally, your mind begins to wonder if your own cousin is the reason why haechan rejected you way back during your small birthday celebration.
the evidence matches up pretty well — he probably couldn’t reject you directly because she was in the room with the two of you that day. he isn’t spending as much time with you anymore because he’s spending time with her.
they look good together.
those words linger in your head more than you’d like to admit.
you feel cast aside by the people you’ve known practically your entire life but you don’t have much of a choice but to return to jaemin’s company. after all, you chose to eat the rest of your lunch at his table instead of the one that brought familiarity to you.
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D-DAY.
day after day, the two of you just seemed to grow even more distant and you wondered if the end of your long-term friendship was nigh approaching. you barely saw him roaming through the halls of campus anymore, much less your cousin.
you didn’t dislike the new friend group you had (jaemin introducing you to his friends after you finally told him about your situation with haechan, but you couldn’t help but feel… dissatisfied with your current situation.)
as your class ends, you prepare yourself for another silent walk home. despite having those new friends, you felt lonelier than you ever had. you missed them. you missed him. and yet, life seemed to have other plans for you.
even trudging down these halls filled with other students made you lonely.
truthfully, you would do anything to have them back- a pain to your forehead snaps you out of your thoughts. you had bumped into someone. well, not just someone, but the person you’ve been longing for the most.
haechan. he was right in front of you after who knows how long it’s been.
you felt like crying on the spot but held in your emotions to appear like your life was anything but lost. haechan knew that look on your face, presuming you haven’t been well ever since the two of you have spoken. he takes your hands that have slumped to your sides into his, and the small gesture reminded you of the warmth he’d bring into your life.
“are you up for a short conversation perhaps?” you only nod and he takes that as a signal in the right direction, though, he isn’t used to you acting around him like this. oh boy, this was going to be more than a short conversation.
haechan leads you into the gymnasium and the two of you sit down by the bleachers with no sight of other students in the area.
“before you get mad- i wanted to apologize first. i shouldn’t have acted the way i did. i was childish.” he begins, holding eye contact with you to show his sincerity. “frankly, i was jealous. jealous you spent more time with jaemin, and you seemed to enjoy you time with him more than the times we hang out together. i shouldn’t have made you feel sad in any way, but i did and that’s completely my fault. i’m sorry.” you know his words hold both his feelings and the truth.
he wasn’t going to lie to you. he never once did during the time you knew each other.
however, what he admitted to had you flustered.
he was jealous of you and jaemin? it was a little hard to believe until you remembered the latter confessed to you the past week. oh god, did word of that spread out? nevermind that, what happened between you and jaemin was the least of your worries, the boy in front of you was. what if haechan got the wrong idea from the rumors?
“it’s not completely your fault. we both were pretty stubborn.” you reply, a soft chuckle leaving your lips to ease the tension between you two. “and if… if you’re curious, i never returned jaemin’s feelings back.
haechan gets pretty taken aback by your statement, now wondering why you brought it up. “oh… i know.”
“you knew? did winter tell you?” you question in anticipation. “i guess the both of you are pretty close now.”
“she did but i swear our friendship is nothing like that!” it was his turn to get flustered. “she could never replace your spot in my life.”
“i’m a little confused though after all of this…” you gesture out, referring to the situation that has just recently moved past you two. “what spot do i even have?”
he pauses, taking his time to think of the right words he wants to tell you but they all get stuck in his throat. the expression on your face showed how you took his silence negatively, prompting him to speak. “i like you. i couldn’t admit it even to myself for the longest time and-” having enough of his rambling, you inch a little closer and give him a kiss on the lips.
it’s brief, and yet, it continues to linger on his lips. “you kissed me.”
“why do you think i never gave jaemin an answer to jaemin’s confession?”
“so you were really saving it for me? i’m honored.” he chuckles out, playfully holding his hand to his chest.
“well, you should be.” you add on with the same bright smile he’s seen you flash at jaemin, except this time, it was absolutely for him.
“i guess that also means you won the bet?” he recalls, a brow raising at you.
you give him a light nudge on his shoulder while suppressing a giggle, “oh, shut up and just kiss me. you owe me 10 bucks by the way.”
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tags !!
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vt-scribbles · 4 months ago
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Hey um, sorry if this is an intrusive or unhappy question, or anything, but: how long did it take for you to get your fics off the ground, find an audience? I've been working so hard for so long on my own stories, and... nobody's really biting. I know it's a marathon, not a sprint, but it's hard not to feel discouraged. Some perspective and perhaps even advice from someone who's much farther along than me would be appreciated, if you could spare some for a stranger.
Idk if I'm really the right person to ask! I am far from what other people would call 'successful' in that department- The Harvester has like 10 active people following it at any point, and Find Your Wings has 0 audience currently [when looking at the big picture] LMAO
I get it though, I'm in the same struggling boat.
But
The genuine advice I can give is you gotta just keep doing it, be passionate, be obsessed with your own thing. If you are, your freak energy will attract other freaks who like your Whole Thing you got going on.
Also, keep in mind that The Harvester, which is infinitely more well known [but still such a tiny fish in the sea] was based on an existing property, Steven Universe.
Getting fully original stuff of the ground comes from a lot of being a freak, posting about it often, being open and approachable, and getting lucky.
Nobody ever wants to hear about the Luck part of things, but it's a lot of that. Also, in order to get found, you need to go be friendly with other creators, other authors. Make them feel seen and appreciated, and be honest and genuine about it for the sake of community, not benefiting yourself, and you'll bring people to you. But ya gotta love it for its own sake first. Audience will come naturally if you genuinely love something and act like it.
EDIT: Also I hate to say this but it came up after I originally responded- speaking from experience, people will smell if you're desperate for an audience or feel downtrodden/ignored/lesser. And it's a turn-off. While there's value in being vulnerable and honest sometimes online and being human... if you're constantly down on yourself or spend more time complaining about things than you do building yourself up and hyping your work, it'll be depressing to try and follow the projects.
A lot of folks don't wanna hear that part, and neither did I. But when I started being positive more often than negative, the people around me started changing into a more positive community.
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vminjackbaddie · 4 months ago
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Feeling Lucky
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authors note: eye...haven't written a one shot in such a long time but his recent activity on ig has got me in shambles and I'd like the chance to try again. now forgive me because I've always written in first person but you can still pretend. also im super rusty so im sorry if this comes out cheesy lol I am not an expert for sure! lastly, please don't repost or claim as your own. I appreciate y'all pairing: female reader & jackson wang | 1st person word count: 3.4k+ summary: it's been a lot of trial and error: using dating apps in hopes you find a serious relationship and for the third time, you find yourself disappointed with someone, feeling cursed and very unlucky. to help get your mind off of things, you go visit your best friend at the bar with 0 intentions except to enjoy yourself until jackson walks in with his own group of friends. he's eyeing you, you're eyeing him but will either one of you make a move? or will you let your "cursed" theory ruin any chance with him? genre: mature | strangers to lovers au | angst | one shot | kinda soft | fluff warnings: 21+ ONLY! some cursing, making out, small mentions of heartbreak
“…and that’s exactly why I believe dogs are far superior to cats…”
He kept rambling, spewing nonsense. Is this really my life right now? How am I sitting here, listening to this man go on and on about why dogs are better than cats? Is this supposed to be life-changing information? Definitely not! And just for the record, cats are just as good—if not better.
To make matters worse, I wish I could say this was my first bad date in ages, but that would be a lie. A month ago, I signed up for a dating app, and while things started off strong, the past two weeks have led me to men with halitosis, nonstop misogynistic comments, and now this guy: a man who thinks his monologue is more interesting than asking about me.
Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone and decided to use the old bathroom excuse.
“Excuse me—sorry. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” I said, trying not to trip over my heels as I pushed my chair back, ready to make my escape.
“Take your time! When you get back, we can talk about the ghost in my parents’ basement!” he shouted as I walked away.
I raised an eyebrow, knowing it was now or never. Ghosting isn’t my usual move, but it felt like my only option. Luckily, there was an exit door next to the women’s restroom, and I made a beeline for it. I attempted to call my best friend to fill her in on the disaster, but I reached her voicemail, followed by a quick text:
[Hey, I’m working. You okay?]
Ugh. I completely forgot she was on a shift at Oasis, a local bar. But that might not be a bad idea. I could definitely use some company and a distraction. I hopped into my car and rushed to get inside before he realized I wasn’t coming back, quickly texting her:
[Hiiii~ nvm! I’m coming by. See you soon!]
The message was brief, and as I sat at the first red light, I surprisingly didn’t feel guilty. Isn’t that awful? But honestly, while I felt bad about the first two dates, this third one confirmed that maybe my days with dating apps were over. I felt cursed—searching for real love for so long only to have every potential match turn sour as soon as we met. So tonight (and perhaps for the rest of my life), I decided to focus on enjoying myself.
Oasis wasn’t far. Within five minutes, I was in line to get in. While I waited, I noticed the coffee shop guy had bombarded me with at least eight messages, calling me every name in the book for bailing.
“Wow,” I muttered, scrolling through his barrage of insults.
“Looks like you dodged a bullet,” the bouncer said as I finally reached him.
“What? Oh yeah, he’s definitely a piece of work,” I replied, blocking his number while handing over my ID.
“You came to the right place.” He nodded as he returned my ID. While he recognized me from previous visits, I wasn’t in the mood to chat with another guy about my problems. I simply made my way to the bar.
“Danielle!” I called, spotting my best friend as I slid onto the first empty barstool. The bar wasn’t too crowded, but the dance floor was alive, and it felt great to soak in the energy after those awful messages.
“Another bad date?” she asked, handing me my favorite drink.
“Oh, it was so bad, Danielle! I just don’t know what’s wrong with me!”
“I don’t think it’s you. Sometimes men just suck, and dating app guys are a whole different level of awful,” she chuckled.
“I’m starting to think it might be time to give up.”
She sighed. “You always say that. But remember what I tell you: you’re more likely to find the right one when you’re not stuck playing 40 questions over a screen.”
She patted my hand for reassurance, and I felt a little lighter.
“Don’t beat yourself up—we’ve all been there. Just enjoy your drink.”
I nodded, acknowledging she was right.
“Okay, but no more than three drinks tonight. I don’t want you getting in trouble again for giving away too many free ones.”
We both laughed as I took a sip while she attended to the next guest.
About an hour later, I was on my third drink, and let me tell you, I was feeling it. “Slightly tipsy” was the best way to describe it, and I was really vibing with the music pouring from the speakers. However, I wasn’t much of a dancer. Sitting at the bar, swaying back and forth in my little bubble, felt just right. I could have kept it up all night, but then I heard an uproar from the dance floor.
Curious, I turned to see what all the commotion was about. Right in the center of the crowd was a group of guys dancing like nobody was watching, and they were good. But the one drawing everyone’s attention wasn’t the loudest or most flamboyant; instead, it was the guy making the subtlest moves. His presence alone was magnetic, giving him an air of mystery that was incredibly alluring.
I found myself standing up, inching closer to get a better view. I didn’t want to get too close—just close enough to appreciate his every move. But maybe that was the mistake, because as soon as I got within range, I was completely captivated. He wore all black: a fitted tank top, loose black pants, and sturdy boots. His shaggy hair was a striking lilac or lavender color, cascading over his forehead. It felt wrong, but the thought of getting his attention flickered in my mind. The only problem? I was supposed to be enjoying myself, not fantasizing about some guy.
“Y/N!” Danielle’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see her waving me over. That was my cue: stay away from him. After all, it was clear why there were at least ninety girls surrounding him—or so it seemed.
What I didn’t realize was that her shout had caught his attention too, because when I looked back just before walking away, we locked eyes.
“Oh god,” I mumbled to myself, quickly diverting my gaze as he flashed me a gentle smile. The only thing I could manage was a quick nod before I hurried back to the bar, eager to escape any further embarrassment.
“What were you doing over there?” Danielle asked as I settled back into my seat.
“Did you not see those guys? They were amazing!” I nearly pointed but caught a glimpse of him and his friends gathering at the other end of the bar.
“Those guys?” she asked, tilting her head in their direction. “Oh yeah, they’re here every Friday, or so.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”
For some reason, that realization made him feel completely out of reach. I shouldn’t have even considered approaching him, but the thought lingered. Now, with him just ten feet away, it was impossible not to steal glances as I tried to finish what was left of my drink.
“Need another?” I heard a male voice say.
I looked over to find a glass of Hennessy right beside my hand. My gaze lifted to meet the exact guy from the dance floor, and I was shocked. Why was he talking to me? Where were his friends? Regardless, I needed to play it cool; I didn’t want to come off as desperate.
“No, I’m good,” I replied shortly. “This is my third one, anyway.” I barely made eye contact, taking another sip.
“Is that why you were almost on the dance floor?” he joked.
“Maybe. But how would you know?” I finally turned my body toward him.
He took a small sip of his drink. “I saw you—almost as soon as you walked up. I was waiting for you to join in.”
“I’m sure the other ninety women were more than enough for you,” I retorted.
“Damn. Don’t do that,” he said with a smirk.
“Don’t do what? Point out the obvious?” I chuckled. That’s when I really started to feel the liquid courage kicking in. To be honest, I had a lot of animosity toward men right now, and he was my first target. This could either go really well or extremely badly.
“I’m not just another girl for you to toy with, okay? You think I didn’t see all the smirking and body rolling on that dance floor? Keep it over there.” My finger landed on his chest. “And don’t bring your fuckboy act over here.”
He smirked again, taking another sip before resting his hand over my finger that was still resting on his chest. God, why was he so attractive? I’d said enough, so why couldn’t I just get up and leave?
“Let me be clear…” His voice was low and husky, and I barely noticed he had leaned in closer, making my hand rest against his chest. “If I had any intentions with the other women on that floor, or if I were the fuckboy you think I am, then why am I over here with you?”
His eyes searched mine as if trying to find something beyond the asshole persona I was attempting to project.
“Touche,” I responded, quickly pulling my hand back. I finished off my drink, trying to distract myself from getting lost in his gaze. “What’s your name?”
“Jackson,” he said with a smile, clearly pleased that I wasn’t trying to push him away any further. “And you?”
“Y/N,” I replied shyly, worried I might have ruined the rest of the conversation. Just then, another song played, and the crowd erupted again, making us both break our unannounced staring contest and look at the dance floor. The same guys he had arrived with were back out there, cutting loose. I noticed Jackson subtly mimicking their moves.
“You should join them!” I yelled over the music.
“Nah, it’s okay. I’d rather be dancing with someone else,” he said, slowly bringing his gaze back to me.
I rolled my eyes, smirking a little. “Could you be any more corny?”
“No,” he smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. We were chest to chest now, locked in each other's gaze. “But I’d like the chance to show you what I can do on the dance floor.”
I glanced back at Danielle, who had been watching the whole exchange. My expression should’ve been a dead giveaway for help, but instead, she winked at me. What the hell? She wasn’t helping at all.
“Come on,” he said, breaking our gaze and taking my hand. He led me to the dance floor. “I don’t expect anything more than for you to just feel the music.” He moonwalked to the center of the dance floor.
How could I possibly keep up with that? I barely had rhythm as it was, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer. The liquid courage needed to kick in any minute now because I had never been more nervous than I was at that moment.
He turned me around so that my back pressed against his chest, swaying slowly behind me, guiding my body to move in harmony with his. I felt as if I were in a trance, his hands exploring my waist in a way that was both respectful and undeniably sensual. His nose brushed against my hair, and I could feel my eyes fluttering shut, surrendering to his lead as I let the music envelop me. I placed my hands over his, turning my head slightly to bring his face closer to mine, anticipating the moment our lips might meet. But just then, the tempo of the music shifted, shattering the spell we were under. I smiled as we both paused, realizing that our moment had come to an end.
I turned to face him, and I noticed his friends slowly approaching from behind.
“Alright! We see you!” one of them called out.
“Get lost,” he replied, feigning annoyance, which made them all chuckle.
“Sorry, man! We were just about to grab another drink. You coming?”
He glanced back at me. “Yeah, actually. I’ll be right there.” They nodded and headed off, and he turned back to me.
“You know you don’t have to stick around. I wasn’t exactly nice to you a few minutes ago.”
He shrugged. “I can get drinks with them anytime.” He took my hand again and led me back to my original spot at the bar to order another drink. As we waited, he turned to look at me.
“But what was with all that attitude? Was it really just because of how you viewed me?”
I shook my head. “No... just... bad dates.”
He nodded slowly, as if he understood more than I realized.
“Men ain’t shit,” he started, his tone serious. “And I mean that. I don’t know what you’ve been through, and it’s really none of my business, but can I offer you some advice?”
“Sure,” I replied, still swaying to what we could hear of the music.
“Don’t assume every guy you meet is going to be like the last. I know that’s tough, but calling me a fuck boy was a bit much.” He whined playfully, laughter escaping him. “Though, I have to admit, it was pretty funny.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry... I really shouldn’t have said that—” Just then, my favorite song blared through the speakers. Tinashe’s “Nasty” filled the air, and the energy shifted.
“I LOVE THIS SONG!” I shouted, letting go and fully immersing myself in the music. Whatever liquid courage I had left finally surfaced, and I danced like I’d never danced before. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice Danielle bringing him another drink; he simply stood there, a huge smirk on his face, watching me.
“Is somebody gonna match my freak...” I began to sing loudly, draping my arms over his neck and leaning in close, letting my hands glide slowly over his chest.
He watched intently as I continued belting out the lyrics. The way he sipped his Hennessy while keeping his gaze fixed on me made my stomach flip. Somehow, I managed to maintain my composure, still singing and letting my hands roam lower, tracing over his abdomen, which made his breath catch.
“Easy...” he murmured, and I couldn’t help but smirk. I had no idea what was happening, but I was enjoying every moment.
I leaned back into his space, my arm wrapped around his neck as the chorus looped again, the constant refrain of “I’ve been a nasty girl” echoing in my ears. I sang every word, body rolling against him while his free hand trailed down my side and rested at my waist. With his other hand, he finished his drink and set the glass down, then placed his palm at the small of my back.
We were mere inches apart; I could feel his breath against my lips, and it made me freeze as the music began to fade into the background. At that moment, I was intoxicated by his scent, and there was no way I could back down now. I’d been in his face for nearly three minutes, singing about being a nasty girl—what else could I expect?
“You singing all of that makes me want to do a lot more than just dance with you...” he whispered. “But that would be disrespectful on our first meeting.”
Good god. At this point, he could have done anything to me; a man who shows respect is the sexiest thing a girl could ask for.
“Then what can you do that wouldn’t be ‘disrespectful’?”
I knew I was asking for it, but I couldn’t help myself. At this rate, I wanted him to make a move.
He chuckled softly, brushing his nose against mine as our faces inched closer together. One hand cupped my face, while the other rested on my hip. I felt his body draw nearer, moving slightly as the music began to swell again, creating a bubble around just the two of us. I slowly closed my eyes, fully aware of what was about to happen. The build-up was intoxicating. I could have closed the distance myself, but something urged me to savor the moment. He began to turn my body until my back was against a wall, his hands landing on either side of me, brushing his lips against mine. When I opened my eyes, I saw him glancing between my eyes and my mouth, so close I could nearly taste him.
My hands moved to cup his neck as we tilted our heads, our lips nearly meeting once more. He was teasing me mercilessly, and damn, was he good at it.
“May I?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine again. There he went again with that respect.
“Please,” I nearly begged, and he slowly closed the gap between us, finally kissing me after what felt like an eternity of anticipation.
Our lips moved in perfect harmony, just like how we danced. His hands slid from the bar back around my waist, while mine fumbled to find their place. I felt most at ease tangling one hand in his hair while the other rested at his side. The kiss deepened as our tongues battled for dominance, making me want to nibble at his bottom lip to tease him even more. But just like that, it was over. He pulled away, leaving me craving more.
We were both breathless, but it was more than worth it. I even heard Danielle cheering quietly behind me, which made us glance at her and shake our heads in amusement.
“I’m sorry. If I’d kept going—”
I raised a finger to his lips. “It’s fine,” I smiled. “There’s always next time.”
He nodded. “I hope it made your night a little better.”
His smile was enchanting, and I could tell he genuinely meant it, which made me feel incredible.
“Mission accomplished.” I gave him a quick peck. “Now, stay in touch.”
“Wait. You’re leaving?” he frowned.
“No!” I laughed. “Danielle’s my ride home since I’ve had a couple of drinks.”
“Smart. I like it,” he teased, locking his gaze with mine again. “Care to dance once more before the night ends?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to get back to your boys?” I asked, noticing them still on the dance floor.
“Look, those are my best friends. I can dance, drink, and whatever else with them anytime,” he assured me. “They’ll understand if I keep dancing with you. And while this may be our last dance tonight, I hope to see you again, outside of this bar.”
I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Who would have thought one bad night would turn into something so lucky?
“Deal,” was all I could think to say before he pulled me back out to the dance floor, where we danced until the sun rose.
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henrysglock · 1 year ago
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Hey so I have totally fallen down the hole here in regards to Henry-Will Phantomgate! I blame you hahaha! And so when I saw some interesting tidbits yesterday they hit me even harder than usual.
So I was just on twitter and saw someone tweet a screen cap of Will in the California school, and it was a screencap of when he was being flirted with by his pretty classmate. They were talking about how in the show they block characters with things right behind them, behind their head etc, that are often clues to the plot and whatnot, and I’ve seen this mentioned before and seen other examples where this very much fits. Well this screencap, where’s Will is being overtly flirted with and looks very uncomfortable, he has a book right behind his head with the word HENRY in bold letters! I was shook! :0
and then remember that tweet going around from the strangers writers? let’s start a new party you and me? what if that line we have been teased about, and many assumed would be byler and come from Mike, is actually said by VECNA instead? 
vecna to will after he takes him to the upside down again and tries to convince will to join him: let’s start a new party, you and me. !!
it’s the perfect way for phantom!vecna to try and woo Will when he already feels isolated from his friends/the party anyways. It’s also subtextual still but a lot more romantically coded (so romantically coded everyone assumed it was said by Mike) so it won’t go totally unnoticed by those catching on to the themes. It’s also a great call back to mike asking: what if you want to join a new party? and will says: not possible. like sorry vecna!
also not even gonna touch on all the 👀 things Jamie has said in his interviews about Will and Henry… oh yea something is up lol
I take it this is the big POTO ask the other anon was referring to! So at long last I have an answer for you, Nonnie!
First - I have Many thoughts about that scene in Cali. It's something that's been running circles in my head. Because if, per timeline theory, Edward Creel is Vecna/One, and Vecna doesn't mention Will at all, then why is Henry right behind Will's Mindflayer spot? And how does that tie in with the Everything Else?
It goes back to something I've done deep dives about re: costuming but only touched on briefly re: narratives...and it's that they are different guys:
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like...undeniably. In both face and costuming. Mindflayer guy in symbiosis is also referred to as "the shadow/shadow monster". So if Edward is Vecna, he and Henry are each other's Jungian shadows, and the Mindflayer is the shadow while being separate from Vecward...then it stands to reason that a version of Henry be the leading figure here (I have thoughts about this re: who went where, because there are at least two copies and there's some stuff about absorption that I need to flesh out more).
It would also track with something else I have a full post coming about, which is the Billy-Heather duality. They're special from the rest of the flayed, and while Billy acts distinctly Edward...Heather not so much. She's similar, almost enough to be mistaken as an extension of Billy, but she's clearly different from the rest of them. I'm particularly intrigued by the line "She could have killed me" from Billy, and Heather's response being "Yes, but not us" before panning to a number of dormant flayed...which she, for some reason, is separate from.
And when she finally does merge with the flayed, Billy remains entirely autonomous from the fleshflayer. The whole season feels like a merger between Vecna and the Mindflayer, especially with the emergence of the clawed tentacle face grab stuff.
Thus, Henry showing up Will's Mindflayer spot...would track. Hard. It would tie up the loose ends re: Heather, attack imagery swaps (invasive tentacle penetration vs external mouth grabbing with an orific/suck-pumping behavior more similar to Vecna's claw), character paralleling (Will and Henry being paralleled behaviorally, but El being more behaviorally similar to our Edward figure), and lack of associations (Vecna as we know him presently not being visually associated with Will or the Shadow, only El, but the first 2 seasons being almost insanely Will-specific).
This would also set us up for Will confronting the guy who actually did the POTO-coded stuff: Mindflayer Guy. Vecna as we know him presently doesn't have quite as much Phantom coding as Mindflayer Guy does. They both do, just in unequal amounts re: Will.
So...tl;dr: Distinction between Vecna and Mindflayer Guy!!
I could absolutely see a situation where mostly-human Mindflayer Guy pulls the Big Sad Wet Eyes and tries to pull Will to his side with his (admittedly gut-wrenching) backstory and the "we're the same, you and I/surely you understand/etc." sales pitch (whether he truly believes it or not, it is still a sales pitch). And while we all know it probably wouldn't win Will over, it would definitely be enough to make him even more conflicted about using violence/brutality.
The whole thing in POTO is that Christine chooses to "start her new party" (so to speak) with Raoul rather than the Phantom, and after she shows him compassion, he realizes the harm he's done and the monster he's become. Her goodness is the mirror. So while I don't think the words "let's start a new party, you and me" would come from the HenFlayer (imo they sound more Mike in tone than Henry)...the vibe is definitely there. And the whole thing is definitely cast in a romantic light, especially if Will were made to choose between his love interest and the HenFlayer.
Which, I agree: that would totally solidify all the shit from previous seasons that has been left up in the air as to intent, even if the actions themselves are blatant SA.
AND JAMIE SDKFJDKSJFH God okay so. Here's the thing. The film is the Thing, and what actors say reflects their current understanding of their characters (i.e. not necessarily reflective of ST5). However. That, in conjunction with Noah joking about rizzing up Vecna...I see them. I see them.
Something is definitely up, and it's going to be gut wrenching either way. Will deserves his confrontation, even if it won't end in violence the way some fans think it will.
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nomynameisnothing · 8 days ago
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Well, my day just took a turn for the worst.
I can't take this world anymore. There is no humanity left.
I've had literally $0 for the last 6 weeks.
I finally got my welfare check last friday ~ I waited 2 months for it, its $600 a month so $1,200 for the 2 month wait. I deposited it and have been waiting for it to be released from hold.
Went to the bank to take out the money today and it turns out the entire $1,200 was scooped out of my account by my bank to pay my overdue credit cards.
They emptied my account, left me with nothing, because its "their right".
Didnt care that I'm homeless and that $600 a month is all I have to live on. My cell phone will now be cut off in the next 24 hours because I can't pay my $300 overdue bill. Can't even hear back from any of the jobs I applied for.
Might as well just curl up and die type feel.
Been on hold on the phone hyperventilating crying in the bank lobby for hours now, bouncing from one malicious asshole to another being snarked at and told to "get it together" and "keep it down" for having a panic attack. Hung up on 5 times while waiting on hold. 💀 Hell is a place on earth. It felt just how I'd imagine.
This world is hell. There is no heart. There is no god.
I. Fucking. Hate. It. Here.
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What is the fucking point of life when this is the world. Shaking down a homeless person from getting even a dime of their entire $600 welfare ??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
But hey I got a $20 pity donation from one stranger good Samaritan who felt mercy.
Guess that will have to last the month.
Im so fucking done maybe my shelter boyfriend will let me try fentanyl. Why the fuck not.
Negative fucks remain. Sub zero existence.
Kinda rather not be on earth anymore tbh it's a demonic realm. I just encountered like 5 during this experience. Zero empathy. Everyone else just a zombie afraid to make eye contact except a few people with souls that showed some compassion and were like "wtf is wrong with you, have a heart" when when the crotchty old lady in line yelled at me for being so upset in public and crying too loudly.
Sleep dep a factor for sure, but also trauma and feelings of injustice - being unfairly "trapped" in a situation of extreme inequality, this trauma accumulates over time and having ALL of my survival money taken right from me after waiting SO LONG for it... cue explosion.
This is where I draw the line ~~ the meaning of "humanity"
Mega corporations make exorbitant profits (banks and credit card companies in particular!) . It is unacceptable for a profit seeking corporation to have the right to prevent a homeless person from receiving the meager sum of money the government qualified them for, because without it they have no means to survive.
It feels, yet again, like a human rights issue.
That money was given to me as part of a government program that, based on research and common sense and decency, to help people get out of poverty, find housing, and support addiction recovery because it benefits all of society.
(I dont say this often, but YES THANK YOU GOVERNMENT FOR BEING USEFUL)
Cut to
Bank being like "nah u still owe us from ur last drug addiction so u can go fuck yourself. IDGAF that the government gave u this cause you are at extreme risk without it. Starve for all we care."
That just set me back at least another month now being homeless. They have prevented me from finding work because of my phone being cut off so now. That $1k was my lifeline, my only source of hope and forward movement.
For the bank, that money is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Just marginally cushier returns for the board of directors and dividend payouts for investors.
Also, they just lost a lifetime customer (20+ years loyal).
BACKWARD BONKERS WORLD.
MONEY IS GOD.
There it is, the familliar existential void.
Ie.
"why do I even try"
"i feel cursed 🪆"
"the world is blind, empty, and evil, until that changes, there's no point in anything"
I just feel like an idiot. It was a mistake on my part, ive been procrastinating everything in my life to work on this blog because it always feels more important.
I'm just so checked out at this point, nothing in the outside world feels real anymore. I find it impossible to sit down and work on slave matrix bullshit. Everything in the "real world" just feels like a pointless charade, and I just can't do it anymore. I can't pretend like it makes sense. I won't.
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In university, I learned how to do math, follow instructions, and be a profitable asset to the capitalist globalised economy ~ as a cog in the machine. An obedient worker bee groomed into a form deemed acceptable by society.
Video games opened my mind through fantastic worlds and captivating storylines that brought me a sense of wonder, curiosity, and a deep rememberance of something in my soul.
They awoke the wanderer inside me and let me dream up a world of far greater value.
The real orange dream:
Mandala effect. Mark of 2 timelines diverging.
Schrodinger's Doberman.
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rufusbear · 2 years ago
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I posted 1,205 times in 2022
9 posts created (1%)
1,196 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@audreycritter
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@nandalorian
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@serene-quill
I tagged 924 of my posts in 2022
Only 23% of my posts had no tags
#jason todd - 148 posts
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Longest Tag: 78 characters
#one of the only reasons i can even do it now is because of maturity (old age?)
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Listen, I’ve read a lot of stranger things Steve/Eddie fic the last few months. A lot. And I cannot believe the amount of times I’ve read either of them, or the kids, yelling, “Oi!” Just. Stop. I don’t care if you don’t get a beta reader but please, for the love of gob, please get whatever the opposite of a Brit-pick is. Americ-pick? Idk. I can’t take it anymore. American’s don’t say “Oi!” Ever. The equivalent would be “hey!” I can handle “mum” or an extra “u” in a word, but “Oi” is the quickest way to take someone out of a fic. HEY!
0 notes - Posted September 1, 2022
#4
SHARE MY PAIN; Rufus recs
I'm currently suffering from a fic hangover. I slammed this badboy yesterday and cannot get it out of my head. I'm aware this is the worst time to rec anything on tumblr because tags or whatever but I'm doing it anyway. I've thought about sharing more fic recs because I've been reading like crazy lately so here's my first. More to come, probably.
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL by allacesandeights~87k. Tim Drake/Jason Todd. Jason POV.
Jason always thought that Gotham was hell. Now he has proof. When the God of Death arrives in Gotham, Jason and the Outlaws come up with a plan to take him down. When their plan brings them into contact with the Titans, Jason ends working with his Replacement. As Jason and Tim get closer, Jason has to figure out whether he can ever move past their history.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT The pacing is excellent; a great balance of action, story movement without any drag. I could actually follow the fight scenes and visualize what was happening, which is refreshing.
While it is action packed, there are enough breaks that fit naturally and give the boys time together that's needed for their character and relationship growth. I personally really love the characterizations. Jason is an ass without being too much and Tim holds his own. He isn't written in that way that seems to diminish him to the "weaker" one, which I've seen a lot in this pairing.
HURT/COMFORT/WHUMP LEVEL Solid 7: some blood, concussions, broken/sore ribs, one fixing up the other's injuries.
WHITE STREAK Yes, Jason has the white streak in his hair. The Streak is important to me and I shall now track it in fic.
RECCER NOTES I’m guessing one of the reasons this fic doesn’t have thousands of kudos is because it’s RHATO comics instead of post-crisis. I’m still new to this fandom but I think I have a pretty good grasp on the universes/timelines/whatever now. While I agree that post-crisis canon, and thus fic, is superior, don’t let that keep you from reading this story. I’ve only recently started reading RHATO but I think this story captured their team dynamics really well and makes me want to go read more.
The author is from the UK and I don't believe it was beta'd, so there are several UK-isms that can take you out of it. I just ignored them but it was also kind of fun to see Jason yelling "Oi!" at someone... that feels in character in a weird way.
If you can get beyond that, it's worth the read!
0 notes - Posted January 2, 2022
#3
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jason Todd Additional Tags: Arson, Fire, Jason Todd-centric, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, and possibly a fire extinguisher, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, i guess Series: Part 1 of Open Flame Summary:
He wasn’t sure what it was about fire he found fascinating, maybe the possibility to forge something strong and lasting, or the potential to destroy so completely that it was erased from being. Either way, he liked to see how far he could push fire before it bit back.
— Or, the one where Jason likes fire and becomes an arsonist.
2 notes - Posted January 31, 2022
#2
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[podfic] falling in love in reverse read by @rufusbear (me!)
part 1 of the let's do the time (loop) again series by @alchemistc
part 2 is now up: [podfic] 35. live like there's no tomorrow
6 notes - Posted November 18, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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Podfic of Steve Harrington's Guide To Planning a Party (Without Blowing Up)
written by @written-mishaps read by @rufusbear (me!)
7 notes - Posted November 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
0 notes
max--phillips · 2 years ago
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i have a very strong feeling that javi g gives amazing hugs and i strongly desire one (or a thousand) of them
I ABSOLUTELY agree . He’s just such an overall dorky positive person and I have a feeling he’s just one of those people you feel safe around y’know ??? Hugs and he’s an excellent cuddler
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kyuuppi · 4 years ago
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“You lie to your best friend/crush that you have an OnlyFans just to see their reaction”
Ft. Sugawara; Nishinoya; Tsukishima; Oikawa; Kenma
Pt. 2
A/N: My bias is so obvious here LOL
KARASUNO
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↳ Sugawara
➣  You are over at his house, the two of you idly watching a sitcom while browsing your phones and chatting in between; it’s comfortable, as times with Sugawara usually are.
➣  Every time Suga leans in to show you a funny meme on his phone or throws his head back in laughter at a joke from the show, you find your heart skipping a beat.
➣  He is beautiful, basically an angel in your eyes, but he is also your best friend and you don’t think he has any interest in you like that. Not in the way you do. 
➣  That’s how you get the idea to test his feelings. 
➣  Being the troublemaker you are (how else would you and Suga get along so well?) you decide to shake things up by casually mentioning you’re interested in starting an OnlyFans and asking if he thinks its a good idea. 
➣  You expect either of two reactions: either he’ll be as supportive as usual, possibly advising you to be cautious with strangers online like the mother hen he is, proving he only sees you as a friend—or he’ll tell you not to, possible evidence that likes you.
➣  The response you receive is not quite what you were expecting...
➣  Once the words leave your lips his head immediately whips around in your direction, light brown eyes looking at you with a serious expression on his face, something you’d never really seen before. It makes you uncomfortable and you begin to regret all of your life decisions.
➣  Suddenly though, he is leaning into you, his arms coming up to trap you against the couch as you try to back away. Your eyes are as wide as saucers and face completely flushed as he continues to stare you down before speaking.
➣  “Even though I’m your best friend, I’m still a man, you know. You’re being awfully cruel right now.”
➣ You audibly gulp, suddenly feeling light-headed but he keeps speaking, close enough that you can feel his hot breath fan across your cheeks.
➣ “Asking me to watch the person I like show off in front of thousands of other men? Even I have my limits.”
➣ And that marks the day of you and Sugawara’s first kiss. ♡
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↳ Nishinoya
➣  Your best friend, Nishinoya Yuu, is notoriously unabashed with his affections. 
➣ The two of you have an interesting relationship—Noya has no qualms with expressing how pretty he thinks you are, borderline flirting with you at times, and you frequently return the favor. 
➣  But you don’t take any of it seriously, of course, regardless of how much you secretly wish it were real. Everyone at Karasuno knows about Noya’s undying dedication to the volleyball club manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, and he confesses his love to her at least twice a day. 
➣ Unbeknownst to you those professions became less and less frequent after he met you and now most of Karasuno thinks the two of you are basically dating
➣ The two of you are at the mall, a frequent hang out place where Noya can look at volleyball gear and you can browse manga at the bookstore, when you get the idea to prank your friend.
➣ “Hey, Noya? I’ve been thinking about finding a way to make more money but I don’t have time for a part-time job so I decided to make an OnlyFans—I already have a few subscribers.”
➣ Nishinoya nearly trips and falls flat on his face. You would have laughed if it weren’t for how he immediately grabs at your shoulders, staring at you with a mix of anger and fear. 
➣ “Absolutely not! No one should be allowed to see your beautiful body like that but me!”
➣ You immediately fluster at his loud declaration, acutely aware of how other customers in the mall are giving the two of your strange looks as they walk by. 
➣ “B-but Noya, we aren’t even dating—”
➣ “Then let’s start dating!” 
➣ And what are you gonna do? Say no?
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↳ Tsukishima
➣ Being friends with Tsukishima could be frustrating at times—a sentiment you and Yamaguchi frequently discuss when the blond isn’t around. 
➣ Tsukishima likes to think most things are beneath him and he’s too cool to find enjoyment in activities most other friends enjoy, ranging from mini golf to video games. The man seems content to waste his life away studying and listening to music if it weren’t for you and Yamaguchi forcing him out of his room. 
➣ Naturally, something like a prank war would be something Tsukishima would want no part of—not that that has ever stopped you. 
➣ Usually, your pranks are failures. Either Tsukishima easily figures out what you’re doing before it can happen or he doesn’t give you the satisfaction of a reaction, chastising you for wasting your time pulling pranks when you have a failing grade in mathematics you’ll later beg him to help you study for.
➣ He still helps you though, he’s whipped
➣ Your newest prank however, you feel exceptionally confident in. Not only is it simple to pull off, only relying on your acting kills, but it also might answer your curiosity on whether you have a chance in getting your dearest Tsukki to see you as more than just a friend.
➣ The day you decide to do it the three of you are hanging out in Tsukishima’s bedroom as usual, you working on the math homework Tsukishima forced you to study while he reads a book and Yamaguchi sits in the corner reading a book.
➣ You had already discussed your plans with Yama beforehand, to which his expression looked suspiciously devious, like he knew something you didn’t know, as he proclaimed his support. 
➣ You hear Tsukishima turning a page and decide to speak up. 
➣ “Hey, Tsukki, have you heard of OnlyFans?”
➣ You hold back a snicker as you see Tsukishima visibly tense, his eyes widening behind his glasses for a moment before he relaxes. From the corner of your eyes you can see Yamaguchi smirking behind his comic, watching the blond closely. 
➣ “...yeah, I’ve heard of it,” Tsukishima simply replies. 
➣ “I’ve been thinking about making more money but I don’t have time for a part-time job so my friend suggested it. She said I could make over ten thousand yen a month.”
➣ “I think only the really attractive ones make that much.”
➣ You gasp, thoroughly offended, and Yamaguchi looks mildly annoyed by his friend’s response, already opening his mouth to chastise him for being so mean—but before he can say anything, Tsukishima is speaking again, still looking down at the book in his lap. 
➣ “Don’t do it though.” 
➣ “Why not?” You pout, refusing to look up at him when you speak. 
➣ “...I don’t want the person I like to do those types of things.” 
➣ You nearly choke on your own saliva, head darting up to stare at him in disbelief. Yamaguchi, for some reason, only smiles softly, looking unsurprised by the admission. 
➣ “W-what? You...like me?”
➣ “Oi, shouldn’t you be studying? One more F and you’re gonna flunk out of the class, dummy.”
➣ You’re slightly disappointed by the change of subject but when you notice the soft pink on Tsukishima’s cheeks you can’t help but to smile the whole time you finish your homework.
AOBA JOUSAI
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↳ Oikawa
➣ Oikawa is a busy guy.
➣ You were well aware of that before the two of you happened to be paired up for an assignment and got to know each other, eventually becoming close friends. 
➣ Between volleyball practices, tournaments, magazine interviews, and appeasing a passionate fan club, Oikawa rarely has time for himself, let alone another person. 
➣ Despite all of that, you could tell he always made sure to spend time with you, dedicating a few weekends a month to hanging out, just the two of you, and constantly texting you in the times the two of you couldn’t physically be together. 
➣ From an outsider’s perspective, it was almost like the two of you were dating. 
➣ But alas, you know the sad reality is that Oikawa is most certainly not your boyfriend and you have no idea if he has any interest in your like that…
➣ ...Which is why you decide to try to make him jealous one day to push him towards confessing his feelings, if they exist. 
➣ The two of you are at a café, sipping lattes and gossiping about other students when you bring it up. 
➣ “Y’know...I’ve been thinking of making an OnlyFans.”
➣ To your surprise, Oikawa’s eyes seem to light up, his lips curving into a smile of excitement. 
➣ “Wow, really? Maybe I should make one too!”
➣ Oikawa immediately pulls out his cell phone and the color drains from your face as you realize your plan has completely backfired. 
➣ “My fans are going to love this—hey do you think we can do a collab? The two of us in one pic would make us top creators for sure.”
➣ You can only nod numbly with a fake smile at Oikawa’s enthusiasm.
➣ Oh god, you’ve created a monster…
NEKOMA
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↳ Kozume
➣ Unless you’re Kuroo, becoming friends with Kenma is a nearly impossible feat. Actually making him want to spend time with you alone, even more so. 
➣ But somehow, you managed to work your way into Kenma’s tightly knit social circle more like a two point line segment of him and Kuroo and your evenings after his volleyball practice are usually spent in one of your bedrooms, playing Splatoon and Animal Crossing until your Switches die or your parents force you to come home for dinner—whichever comes first. 
➣ You love spending time with Kenma, his quiet presence somehow making you feel comfortable—but over time those feelings of ease have shifted into something more akin to nervousness and excitement as you’ve come to develop a crush on the setter.
➣ Every moment with him, watching the small smiles tug at his lips when he wins a match or his cute, frustrated pout when he can’t figure out how to defeat a boss makes your heart flutter and it’s becoming more and more painful to idly sit by without expressing your feelings.
➣ A direct confession, especially to a boy with nearly 0 social skills, is scary, so you want to be sure your feelings are returned before you even attempt to share them. 
➣ Thus, you’ve decided to take Kuroo’s advice.
➣ “Push him into a corner. Kenma will only act when he thinks he has to.” 
➣ You take a deep breath to steel your nerves before you speak, eying him sneakily from behind your Switch. 
➣ “Gamer girls and boys are kind of trendy these days; I’m thinking about starting an OnlyFans to make money to buy more games.”
➣ The only visible response you receive is a slow blink as Kenma continues to play his game, fingers tapping furiously on the keys. 
➣ “Ah...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
➣ “Why not?”
➣ There are a few moments of silence between you two, the room only filled with the SFX of your games as Kenma seems to finish his round. You recognize the victory music as Kenma pauses to finally raise his gaze to meet your own. 
➣ “It's your body so I can’t tell you what to do but...I would feel really jealous of all your subscribers.”
➣ And just like that, Kenma returns his attention to the video game, unpausing and starting a new match, blissfully unaware of you struggling to calm your racing heart and flushed cheeks. 
5K notes · View notes
elysianslove · 4 years ago
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hi !! i am in love w ur writing omg <33 can i req hcs of miya twins && suna w a crush who is in the girls ( or manager of the boys team if u only do gn!reader hcs ) vball team of inarizaki and they share the same bus or sumn when theyre traveling to another school ? thank u <3
hi hi hi!!! thank you so much <333 and i write fem!reader, hehe, so i made her part of the girls vbc! i hope you like these <3
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miya atsumu 
i firmly believe none of the hq boys would be picky about the girl they’re dating. like yeah they all say certain traits they want but when it really comes down to it and they are dating you, they won’t be upset if you don’t fit certain previous criteria of theirs 
that being said, tsumu would absolutely lose his shit if his girlfriend also happened to be a volleyball player like he’d be convinced it’s fate or something
like he wouldn’t crush on you because of volleyball, he just thought you were a really pretty girl he’d constantly see in the halls and stuff 
and listen! he really was planning on asking you out
except asking a girl out has never been so nerve-wracking. like he’s never, ever felt this nervous about it?? and he’d keep chickening out every time he saw you
fast forward to you guys having to travel to another prefecture for a game, and it just so happens that the boys’ basketball team also had a game out of town. between the teachers and coaches, they decided since both the boys and the girls’ volleyball teams were going to the same prefecture, you’d just take the bus and make due 
the bus isn’t small, but y’all are a lot, so it’s a bit of a mess when you’re climbing on 
somehow, someway, you find yourself sitting next to miya atsumu 
pls he will never stop talking about how you two were meant to be after omg 
imagine his shock when he looks up from his phone and he sees you sitting next to him his brain literally goes ???!!@#$#&^$#&%(&
you just smile at him sweetly and say, “i hope it’s okay that i sat here. there’s not really anywhere else.” 
he can’t really speak. no like he really can’t. he’s. starstruck? just completely gone. you’re just so pretty and now he gets to sit next to you for the entire ride? he’s thanking everything holy
samu smacks him on the head because he still hasn’t replied to you and you’re starting to look a little saddened 
“uh, yeah, yeah, s’fine, yeah.” i’m telling y’all he’s secretly a complete dork. 
at first he doesn’t really know what to say, he just knows that he really wants to talk to you, like badly, and finally his brain catches up to him and he asks you about volleyball. you two spend nearly the entire ride talking about the sport
his heart would not stop beating insanely fast the entire time 
so y’all arrive, and you’re about to head off to the girls’ gymnasium when he stops you. you’re kind confused but you don’t stop him bc !!! hello !!! attractive !!! and kind !!! and interesting !!!
and omg you don’t think you’ve ever seen miya atsumu flustered before, and apparently neither has his brother or his friends because they’re in the back just snickering to each other
and finally, he manages to ask, “do you like, wanna hang out? soon? tomorrow?” 
it makes you giggle how red his cheeks are 
the relief that floods him when you say yes is unbelievable 
he wishes you good luck with your game with a kiss on the cheek that shocks everyone because what a contrast to the person he was literally a minute ago 
just v briefly: y’all are THE couple. you know what i’m talking about right? imagine just him being at your games and cheering you on the loudest, kissing you fully on the mouth after disregarding any rules in place, or the opposite, of you cheering him on his games and just jumping at him even though he’s really sweaty and hugging him so tight with your legs wrapped around his waist
no please don’t think about going to the gym with tsumu, where he makes you cling onto shirtless him as he’s doing pull ups and you kiss him every time he lowers himself, or practicing volleyball with tsumu, where he’ll serve a ball onto your ass and have you chase him around the gymnasium until he lets you jump onto him and you both fall on the ground
and no! don’t you dare consider practicing serves with him and it being a competition until you’re both so spent and breathlessly lying on the cold ground next to each other or how proud he is every time he sees you finally achieve something you’ve been trying really hard to perfect —
good bye 🏃🏻‍♀️
miya osamu
okay different from atsumu, osamu knew you were a volleyball player, and he realized he had a crush on after watching you play once 
your gymnasium, the girls’, was up for inspection but you had a game against another school so you’d borrowed the boys’. the whole boys team decided to stay and watch and holy shit was he impressed. your team won by a landslide, and it was clear the rest of his team was also impressed by the way they were all speaking about you
after that, you kinda stood out to him more? like, before he wouldn’t really notice you, but now anytime you were around or he heard your name or you were mentioned or he heard your voice he would kind of perk up and his heart would beat a little fast 
he was like fuck 😃🔪
you didn’t really share classes with him so it wasn’t too difficult to avoid you until his little crush had wavered 
yeah until god himself seated you right across from him on the bus while both your teams were on their way to a different school. it’s not that there wasn’t a bus, the coaches were just lazy and decided to combine you both since you were headed the same way anyways 
the entire time he wouldn’t stop staring at you while you chatted with your friends and with some of the boys from his team. you just seemed so. magical. he hated it. why were you so perfect
atsumu was asleep for half the ride so he only made fun of him for the other half. it was v humiliating. 0/10
he thought he had been soooo slick lmfao 😹
he was not
samu’s generally a slick guy but. not right now he wasn’t. not with his crush he isn’t
so when everyone steps off the bus and he’s like stretching out his limbs from being seated for really long, he feels someone tap on his shoulder, so he spins around and sees you and honest to god his blood runs cold
you had a really sheepish smile on your face like you were ready to embarrass him and when you said, “hey i noticed you staring,” on god he wanted to die.
but then you noticed his pale face and quickly went, “no, no, i think it’s very flattering! and i’m hoping it means i get to take you out?” 
cue tsumu’s cheering in the back he is so obnoxious bhjdbcdbjc
samu’s mouth is moving but his brain isn’t really working he just likes to thank god that he said yes and didn’t say anything else 
this time, you wish him luck with a kiss on the cheek and he really hates how his entire body is just heating up right now so on the outside it looks like he’s not enjoying this in the least, but trust, his heart says others
that was the most nervous you’ve ever been but he doesn’t need to know that 
on the bus ride back he invites you to sit next to him in the back, and you’re both a little shy about it all but you make conversation and somehow it ends up with him telling you he loves to cook, which leads to the promise that he’ll cook for you one day
it’s a very sweet conversation where you’re both really excited but you’re also a little nervous about it all
again, briefly: if we’re going with you being a wing spiker like him, then training with samu is so fun. he loves to toss the balls up higher and higher knowing you can’t reach them, until one day you shock him and the ball goes smack on the other side of the court and damn he just fell in love all over again.
tsumu practices with you two sometimes and nine times out of ten he’ll make samu think he’s tossing to him then toss to you instead. 
you’d think he’d be quiet and calm while he watches you play? absolutely not he is the loudest. it’s okay you luv him <3
omgomgomg meeting up with samu after both your after school practices are over and you just walking home alone in the quiet and you’re both munching on some snacks and it’s so serene and your hand is in his and you’re swinging your arms playfully and it’s just so
sigh 
remember that promise he made to cook for you? every weekend without fail, since he usually wakes up before you, he makes you breakfast, leaves his home, and wakes you up with a little box of your favorites. the tradition never falters. every weekend you wake up to his beaming face with a steaming box of breakfast. husband material 
suna rinatarō
with suna, you two briefly knew each other
you shared class with him, and sat quite near him so you were like sort of acquainted with each other. i feel like suna’s not too big on speaking with strangers not because he’s introverted but because he just doesn’t wanna waste his time
he does speak to you from time to time though, mainly just to ask about class or homework or exams 
he didn’t know you were on the girl’s volleyball team though, so when you walked onto the bus, and he spotted you, he was really confused. when you spotted him back and waved at him with a bright smile his brain went uh oh
and then you walked closer to where he sat and his brain went UH OH
and then you asked to sit next to him because you’re all the girls are scattered everywhere and aside from them he’s the only one you know here so he just shrugs and goes yeah sure 
his brain is going uhohuhohuhoh repeatedly though he’s just exceptionally good at not showing it 
you don’t really talk as everyone settles down, each of you is busy looking down at your phones, but when the bus starts moving, suna takes out his headphones and 
he offers one to you 
vdhjsdshfkwhhesajkdhksf
ok im good 
you’re a little taken aback but you accept. the entire ride you two don’t talk, you just listen to music together, and occasionally he hands you his phone to choose a song, and somehow, in the middle of all this, your head fell on his shoulder and his head rested on yours and it was really comfortable and good god does he have a crush on you
when you take out your phone and open instagram/snapchat and start messing with the filters, taking snaps of him and making faces with him, and he gets to hear and feel your little laughs he realizes yeah, maybe he does have a tiny crush on you 
tiny 
minuscule
you skip away from him after stepping off the bus with a yell of good luck. he makes time after his game to go watch yours and he is thoroughly impressed by your skill. decides maybe it is not as minuscule as he thought.
the boys are on the bus before the girls, so when you walk in, he waves you over and points at his headphones, which makes you laugh a little and rush over to him. this time, he doesn’t wait for the bus to start moving before he hands you one earbud, and just like before, your head rests on his shoulder throughout 
middle of the ride, he opens the notes app, and types, ‘you’re really cute,’ while showing you the screen 
you take the phone from him and type back, ‘you’re really pretty.’ 
and then a conversation carries like this until he just straight up goes, ‘wanna go out with me?’ 
this time, you don’t take the phone from him. instead, you sit up a little, press a kiss to his cheek and whisper, “yes.” 
it only shocked him a little a lot
as soon as you’d said that, he relaxes a bit, and as you’re going to rest your head on his shoulder, he brings an arm around you, hugging you closer to him i am going to Scream
briefly: please, imagine just how encouraging it is for suna to see you in the stands at any of his games like it just gives him that necessary boost  and whenever he wins he just cups your face and kisses you so passionately yet serenely and there’s that small smile hidden in the kiss only you can feel and tell of
or just imagine you and suna relaxing after a long day of practice in a bath together or you completely drained snuggled in bed as you lazily and sleepily pillow talk 
or oh my god, suna coming before a game and helping you do your hair in a braid or anything that will keep it out of your face because he has a little sister and he’s just so good at it and all the girls are fawning over how he’s sitting on the bench with you kneeling between his legs and he’s just working diligently at your hair and once he’s done he just gives your head a little pat before leaning over and kissing your cheek like “all done babe good luck” 
or suna watching smugly as you absolutely destroy your opponents or if you ever play with the boys how you never go easy on them and he just 
heart eyes <3
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end note; im sobbing im this 🤏🏼 close to losing my mind why are they not REAL 
2K notes · View notes
alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago
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Sweet | Jung Jaehyun
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❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  
Word count: 13,707k
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​
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Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.
Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.
“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.
“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.
The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”
“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”
“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.
And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.
“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.
“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.
“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”
And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.
When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.
“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.
“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”
“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“
“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.
The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.
Eight years ago  
“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  
Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.
“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.
“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.
“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.
As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.
And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.
“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.
The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.
At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.
“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.
“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.
As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.
“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.
In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.
You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.
“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.
Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.
Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.
Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.
And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.
He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.
"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  
If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.
You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.
For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.
Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.
Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.
As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.
“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.
The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  
“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.
But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.
“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“
And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  
When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.
For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”
Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.
“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”
You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.
“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.
He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.
He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.
“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.
“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.
“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”
“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.
“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.
Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.
“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.
Thrust
Thrust
Thrust
He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.
While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.
“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.
“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.
“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.
To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.
You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.
Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.
Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.
It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.
“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.
“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.
“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“
“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.
Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.
During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.
Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.
You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.
It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.
Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.
Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.
“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.
Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.
For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  
Senior year
In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.
“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.
“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“
“Stop it with your nonsense John”
“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.
“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.
Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“
“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  
“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.
“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.
“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.
Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.
The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.
After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”
Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?
Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.
“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.
“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.
Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.
Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.
“Your ears are red,” you teased him.
“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  
“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.
This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.
“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.
“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.
“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.
“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”
And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.
Then,
“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”
And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.
On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.
“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”
There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.
“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.
You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.
When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.
“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.
The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.
“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.
Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.
Finally. You both thought.
But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.
Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.
Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.
He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.
And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.
“I missed you too” finally you said it.
He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.
“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.
“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.
You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.
“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.
“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”
The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.
When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.
“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”
“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.
“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.
But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.
He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.
It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.
“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”
You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.
“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.
“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”
“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.
The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.
Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.
Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.
And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.
Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.
“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.
“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.
Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.
Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.
This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.
“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.
After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.
“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.
“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.
“And?”
“I’ll miss you”
Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.
He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.
You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  
The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.
“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.
“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  
“Good. Y/n is on her period”
“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.
“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“
“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”
When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.
“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.
“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.
“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.
“Google says sex is good when-“
“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.
“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.
“I am” you admitted
“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.
“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.
Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.
“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.
“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.
“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.
“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.
While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.
The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.
Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.
“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.
“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.
“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”
“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.
“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.
“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...
“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”
“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”
“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.
“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.
The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.
Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.
After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.
“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.
“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”
“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.
“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”
The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.
You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“
“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.
“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.
“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”
“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.
The fight was short but unforgettable.
Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.
“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.
You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.
FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)
It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.
When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.
You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.
When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.
“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.
But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.
“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.
Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.
“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”
But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.
BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR
“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”
And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.
All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.
Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.
Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.
Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.
While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.
“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.
“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.
“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.
Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room
“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.
And so he did.
He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.
Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  
As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.
“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.
“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.
“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.
When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.
“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.
“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?
The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.
On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.
Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Five years later
When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.
“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.
“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.
“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.
“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.
“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.
“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”
“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.
“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.
“Sorry, that was so childish of me”
“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”
Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.
But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.
“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.
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funkymbtifiction · 2 years ago
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2/2 regarding Mary Elliot: I'm not a fan of PDB at the best of times, but there seems to be a well reasoned argument here for her being in fact a 2, which fits more of the description in your original post:
"MARY MUSGROVE: SP/SO 2W3 [...] mary is not an sp6! she is far less concerned with the actual ramifications of an illness than the attention she can draw from her family because of one. sp6s are known for their warmth, their submissiveness in order to subdue threats or arguments. throughout the entire movie mary is flagrant in inserting herself into situations, demanding special treatment and attention, and explicitly demanding that people give her privilege :0...
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They seem to be going off Beatrice Chestnut's sp2 description, as the immature and childish 2. I prefer this description of sp2, which fits all the sp2s that I know (both in person and in fiction):
Self-Preservation Twos are looking to experience the Essential Quality of love through attending to the well-being, comfort, and health of others. They are classic providers and have a strong sense of obligation and responsibility.
Their style of support tends to be practical, like financial support, some sort of skill in healing, or care-taking. Their dedication and drive can make for an incredible capacity for selflessness and giving care, especially in times of crisis or when people can feel there’s no one else to turn to. Yet this often means Self-Preservation Twos neglect their own self-care and run themselves ragged for other people with the unconscious expectation that others will be there in their own time of need.
In some cases, Self-Preservation Twos have been so caught up in performing a function for others or in occupying a caretaking role that they may not know how to relate to others without having something to offer. Despite all their helping, they may not have formed a bond on the personal levels they thought or wanted because it had all been contingent around a dynamic of offering support. This situation compounds the feeling of being uncared for, which their superego takes as a sign they’re not doing enough.
Who does this description remind you of?
Sam Gamgee or Molly Weasley. There's no "oh I'm so cute, take care of me," it's "I know what you need and I am here to provide it. Eat those eggs, Mr. Frodo! Here's a Christmas sweater, Harry! What else can I do for you???"
2s have an agenda. It's the fact that YOU can't survive without ME. Even Lady Russell in Persuasion (a 1w2) shows more 2 in her endless interfering with Anne's life, which causes all of her problems because Anne foolishly listens to her and lets her set the agenda. 2 at its worst is not whining, it's steamrolling people because their life needs fixed and I am the one who is going to fix it (Emma Woodhouse!).
Mary is a frustrated image / emotionally-driven type -- a 4w3, and everything the OP said about her demanding special privileges (because she's special) is 4ish narcissistic elitism. Nothing is ever good enough for her and she calls attention to it (a frustration and reactive type), while thinking about no one's feelings but her own, being melodramatic about her problems, being easily insulted, having no interest in her children or caring for them, and refusing to change her mood to be more positive (2s need to see the best in people; she focuses on the worst and scoffs at the notion that seeing other people happy should make HER feel happy; what have they got to do with ME?). She even "stands up for Anne" by telling Captain Wentworth a humiliating story about her. A lot of her behavior is just immature Fi-dom (it's all about ME!!!!) but it's also 4ish in how dissatisfied, elitist, full of drama, and openly negative she can be.
I do agree with them, however, that she is absolutely not a sp 6. That would be Emma's father and his neurotic need to keep people away from eating cake since they might sicken and die and hurrying home from a party cuz it snows a lot...
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ac3id · 4 years ago
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The Artist and His Majesty| 18+
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𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝒿𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓎 0 / 5 | fantasy au. 
chapter i , chapter ii
pairings: yandere! emperor! shigaraki x female! reader.
warnings: [series] dubcon, exhibitionism, size difference, degradation, masturbation, bondage, reader is also kind of delusional, death, violence (not on reader). (there are more but i can’t think right now.]
↪ for chapter 0: none !!
summary: you come to the big city in hopes of starting your career as an artist but things take a shocking turn when you’re recruited as the court painter for the royal palace.
↪ for chapter 0: a strange man approaches you, offering to buy your painting to which you oblige. little do you know that it kicks of a series of unfortunate events ending with you being trapped in shigaraki tomura’s clutches forever.
wordcount. 
a/n: finally !! i started this series. high-key inspired by these two dresses in my wardrobe and @ana-list‘s this  drawing ! seriously it’s literally everything. also thank you once again for proof reading this @the-grimm-writer ! 
taglist: @shigaraki-is-my-master, @deathmemeiverse, @n4dhii, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @mstssister, @nereida19, @prince-zukohere [dm to be added/ removed.]
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“That’s a beautiful painting,” a rough, scruffy voice calls out, jerking you away from your daydreams. Your grip around the color canvas resting in your arms tightens as you glance behind your shoulder to see a well-built man standing right behind you. He’s tall and a lot older than you, he has short grey hair which falls right before his eyebrows along beautiful, matching grey eyes. A cigar hangs lazily from his lips as he occasionally huffs on it, blowing clouds of smoke out his mouth. He’s dressed in expensive robes, a choice of style only people better off could afford. You can’t help exachaning a covetous glance between his expensive suit and your sloppy, knee-length, light green dress. “Thank you.” you murmur shoving him an appreciative look, hoping he’d leave you alone. When you come to the city to complete your studies in art, you mother, father, family and friends had warned you about men like these. Rich, snobby men who liked to lure in young, naive girls. Whispering praises of how they are the most unique on the planet so they pull their guard down form them to take advantage of the helpless beings. 
“Can I take a better look? It’s the Emperor, is it not? Your painting. ” You hesitate before turning back to him. Not a lot of people had seen the King to be. He lived humbly in his castle, trying his best to not indulge in the affairs of the common people. “ Yes,” you hold up the slightly small canvas (courtesy of you being broke the entire week and not being able to save up to buy a bigger canvas). To even get an idea of Shigaraki Tomura, you had to go through many people. Not a lot of people had seen his face, he had always kept it hidden under a mask. No one knew why he did so but the many conspiracy throes suggested it was something to do with his personal grief.
 You had heard many stories about him. Some made him look like a spoiled brat with a demeaning, ignorant personality who didn’t care for others and as the rumors said: self destructive habits which lead him to tear the skin of his own neck down whenever he got anxious or frustrated. 
Others portrayed him as a strong, confident man and a reliable leader who cared for his comrades. You did not know which one of the two personas brought him your attention but you couldn’t complain. Tomura had caught you under a spell, and despite never meeting him (and knowing full well you never would), you were still ready to sacrifice your life for him. He was your King even before he had taken his crown, to you he looked like a shining bright light ready to enlighten you. To you, he was a god. And as years passed by, he grew from a caterpillar into a cocoon which was ready to burst open as a butterfly into the beautiful, mysterious world. And it was happening today, Prince Tomura Shigaraki’s Coronation ceremony. After the passing of All For One, it was his turn to take the crown and fulfill his duty as the ruler of the nation
 The entire city was busy, bustling with people. Families, friends and everyone in between gathered around the huge castle walls as they waited for the ceremony to begin. They waited patiently, filled with excitement and joy as they waited to catch a glimpse of the new great King. You were among them. You had come down to the centre of the city with your friends, waiting alongside many to catch a glimpse of the new ruler. The painting which nestled in your hand was something you were hoping to sell today, to a shop or anyone who wants to have it. It was a beautiful painting which had taken you several days to complete, and dare you say it, you were quite proud of it. From all the things you had heard about Tomura, you had managed to sketch him decently. Long white, wavy hair reaching till his shoulder, skin white as snow. He sat proudly on his throne wearing a cape with his vermillion eyes peering through your soul. His face was scarcely detailed as you did not have much idea about it but he still looked ethereal. With little scars running both his eyes and a comparatively larger one on his right. Chapped lips with even more scars running over them wildly, he was not conventionally attractive. No one would call him a pretty boy yet there was something more, something alluring which attracted  you to him. His beauty was rare, not in the grasp of many but if it was grasped and held close to the heart, it was hard to let go off. And you found him attractive, very attractive. 
The man took a good look at your painting, examining it carefully and for a second you really thought he had seen the mysterious Prince. “It’s quite similar to him,” he sends you a friendly grin and you notice a tooth from his front missing, leaving an uncomfortable gap. “Have you seen him before?” he asked and you shake your head, no. He gives you an amused expression, “I must say, you are very talented, miss…?” you complete your name with a nervous smile. “And you are?” you ask. 
You realised that you were getting a little too comfortable with the stranger and it could be a really bad decision but you can’t help but give him the benefit of the doubt as he behaves like a gentleman you can find yourself to trust. “Kagero Okuta but I like to go by Giran,” he says with a lop-sided grin. Giran, you’ve heard the name before but cannot recall where and how. It sounds so familiar but you just can’t grasp it, he looked wealthy so you assumed he was a Noble and that made you even more curious as to why he was speaking to you.
 “What are you planning to do with that painting?” he asks, diving a closer look and admiring its features. “I must say, you’ve got it quite accurate but,” you stiffen, your hands growing cold as your heartbeat picks up. You realized your painting must have some complications, drawing a man you had never seen before purely out of your interpretation was a hard and a bold task to do. But to have someone who had actually seen the King for himself pinpoint your mistakes sent a rush of anxiety through your veins.
 “He’s not that bony.” He completes and you gulp nervously, looking down at your painting in disappointment. Your eyes are filled with disappointment,  all of the time and effort you spent making the piece all for it go in vain just because you missed a small detail. Giran notices your remorse and speaks up, “But that’s quite alright. He looked just like that until a while ago,” he hadn’t meant to offend or hurt you. He still believed your painting was the most beautiful thing he had seen all day.
 “What do you mean?” you ponder, giving him a perplexed look. He leans  in closer to you as if to tell a secret, “let’s say the King has been working out behind closed doors.” you blink in confusion. It was a strange thing to say, exactly how well did this man know the Emperor? Who was it that you were talking? 
“Who are you?” you can’t help but question, bewildered by such a character. Giran says nothing. He just stares at you with his lips curled into a snappy smirk, holding his cigar between his lips. He was not going to tell you anything. Without wasting time, he quickly changes the topic. “What are you going to do with that painting?” he repeats, his voice growing impatient.
 “I am planning to sell it,” you feel a bit taken back. The friendly aura which had Giran had now disappeared for a reason you could not conclude. “Sell it? To whom?” the intruding nature of his tone starts to make you uncomfortable, there’s nothing more you want to do other than get far away from him. Yet you still find yourself answering him, “To anyone who wants it.” he hums at your response, his eyes holding a mocking glint. “Wouldn’t you like to give it to the Emperor himself?” you frown, was he mocking you? 
“That’s well...impossible.” you reply, stretching your neck awkwardly. “To you, maybe.” 
You stop yourself from rolling your eyes, this man was really testing your patience. A part of you tells you to ignore him and walk away but as he reaches into his coat and pulls out a bag of coins worth much more than you could ever earn in a month, he has you hooked yet again. 
“Hey, let me buy that painting, would yer’?” 
.
..
..
“What is the problem now?” Giran takes a seat around the round table. It was late after the Coronation ceremony and the Royal palace was already facing problems. Giran was disappointed but definitely not surprised. After all, he was their personal problem solver and broker. “It’s not that big of a deal.” A curt and hard reply cut him off.
 “It actually is, Shigaraki Tomura.” a voice speaks, coming from a man dressed in a black suit with a long, flowy robe covering his entire body. He stands taller than the other two men in the as his head is replaced with a wisp of smoke. He was none other than the trusted and talented magician of the Royal family. With eccentric features and an ability to wield strange magic, nobody knew where he came from. There were many rumors about him; that he was once a normal, handsome man cursed by a witch that turned him into a hideous monster or he simply was a ghost. “What is it, Kurogiri?” Giran rephrases his question, directing it to the other man. “We need a new painter,-” 
“Servant.” Shigaraki corrected. He stood in front of the giant windows glancing over his city as his men talked about hiring a new painter for the castle. He couldn’t care less about such tedious tasks, he had his focus set on greater things like expanding his territory, taking back stolen land. 
“What happened to Mr. Kyo?” Giran asked, Shigaraki rolled his eyes at the mention of the name and clicked his tongue, “His Majesty eliminated him.” Giran stops himself from laughing out loud. He was certain once Shigaraki would take over the throne incidents like so would double the instant. But he was expecting it to happen so soon. “And why was that?” 
“He was breathing too loud, like you are right now.” 
A cold silence broke over the room as Giran counted his breath. Kurogiri looked nervously at Shigaraki who still had his back turned to them. The longer the pause grew, the dreadful the atmosphere became. Shigaraki’s threat strung the air loud and clear and Giran was afraid to speak again. “What we are asking for is that-,” Kurogiri started in a calm, slow tone easing the tension in the room. “-we need a new court painter. Do you have any names?” 
The murderous sent in the air magically disappeared as a grin stretched across Giran’s face. 
“Aren’t you in luck?” He says, running a hand through his hair before taking a puff out of his cigar. “Does that mean you know someone?” Kurogiri questioned. Giran hummed, “You see, I met this beautiful painter today. She’s extremely talented and I know for a fact she will love working for the castle.” 
“What’s the name?” growing impatient, Shigaraki asks. “Oh, it was,” Giran pauses for a moment to recall. 
“Ah yes, Y/N L/N.” 
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alumnis · 3 years ago
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Hello again Punzie!
OMG I LOVE HOW TOMMY YELLED TO WILBUR AND CALL HIM WILBITCH LMFAO-
Thank you for making my day way more better! It's just so accurate how you described their dynamic just what the-
Also, Would you mind to make maybe a headcanon about SBI Family (street fighters yes and sorry for asking them again-) are become protective of Female! Teenager! Y/n? By that I mean, Y/n is not really good fighter but she really likes music and drawing. Because of that she is not into a fighting - some of the people make a fun of it and one day they even left on her face a big bruise. She tried to hide it until one of the SBI member find out and they became really angry/protective.
Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable with it, again please ignore this massage and do whatever you want!
Have a great day!
Thank you my lovely for frequenting my page! I enjoy your requests being sent in.
Those nights
P!Sleepy Bois X FEM!reader (Family dynamic)
Fluff (A little bit of violence + angst and swearing.)
Demonish - TUYU
0:04───|────── 2:41
|◁ II ▷|
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The freshly painted bus stop glistened, you sat there tuning your ukelele while thinking of things to draw for an art assignment that was due next week. You hear your father's car pull up, "Hey, mate. Hop in! Me, Wil, and Techno have a got a game on and I wanted to take you this time. I owe you takeaway food, so I thought it was only fair to take you." The van door slid open as you scooted over, flipping Tommy off while trying to get in your seat. The van then began to move as your bag slid onto the floor of the car, the seatbelt that was withholding you tightened.
About an hour later you arrived safely at the underground entrance to the venue, the grey brick wall looking somewhat dull. Phil took out his keycard, the metal door making a *Ding!*. A bright green light illuminated the keycard swipe. Access granted.
He led you and your older brother down to the backstage part of the venue, reminding the pair of you to not get in trouble. You and Tommy sat yourselves on the lounge near the staircase that you two had walked down, Phil slid open a door that led into the men's room, Wilbur and Techno exiting at the same time.
"Y/N!" Wilbur squeaked, hugging you. His black and orange-ish yellow jacket clinging on to your skin slightly. Techno waved at you and sat down on the couch, running a hand through his faded pink hair. "Can you can see my brown hair coming through, kid?" You nod with a smile on your face. "Looks like I'll have to give you another hair cut as well, Techno." Wilbur responds while adjusting his glasses. Phil walks out in his referee uniform, "Okay, boys! Time to roll out. Also Tommy can you do me a favour?" Tommy nods his head and changes his sitting position. "If anything happens to you two, feel free to beat them up. For example some asshat decides to give you two trouble, beat their ass. You hear me, Tom?" "Yup. Got it, dad." Tommy hums to your dad. The three older men go out of the small semi-enclosed room, sliding the opened red velvety curtain closed.
For at least 3 hours you and Tommy managed to keep entertained via drawing each other and making up stupid songs together. On the 5th song that you two had made this evening a pair of drunken men had attacked you and Tommy. You both managed to get those two older men out of the room, but you had your face littered with bruises. Tommy had somehow managed to not get hurt, but you on the other hand looked like you had been bitten by raccoons.
"Don't move, Y/N!" Tommy tried to apply a band-aid to your face, the curtain slid open to reveal all three of your older family members. You and Tommy jumped and began to panic. "What the hell happened, you two?" Phil frowned, running over to check on you both. "Who did this?" He said. He scanned your faces for injuries. Tommy sighed and gritted his teeth, that sigh soon turning into sadness. "We were beat up by two strangers. They called Y/N weak and I just had to!-" Tommy was cut off by Wilbur sharpening his blade, smirking sadistically. "I'll have them apologize soon. Don't you all worry." Wilbur said. "Wilbur S. Minecraft! No. You will not kill anyone, we are leaving now."
Techno growled and tried to walk off, ready to brawl with whoever hurt you. "Techno." Phil says sternly. "Fiiiinnnne." The twins groan. Phil hugs you and Tommy, "It's okay, kids." You and Tommy grip onto Phil and sob for a bit. "Okay, get your stuff you all. We're leaving to get takeaway. Then after we'll go home once we get the food, understood?" Phil spoke, you all nod quietly and collect all your things. The five of you walked up the grey staircase and open the door.
The cold midnight air hit your band-aided face, it felt nice. You heard the beep of the door that you had came through, it was now locked until someone else with a keycard swiped. You all climbed into the van, Tommy told a story as you all climbed in. "I love being a pro at videogames because you see that I am the best and most biggest.-" "Shut up, gremlin!" Wilbur laughed as he climbed into the front passenger seat, dragging his bag behind him and putting his glasses on. Techno happily smiled as he shuffled into the back with you and Tommy, he seated himself near the right window.
Soon after getting in you a set off to get Chinese food, the smell of it in the bags calmed you, the rest of the boys told stories as hit pop songs played over the radio. You got home late but it was totally worth it, just to spend time with your family. It was just one of those nights.
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🌹🎀🌆
TAGGIES
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myimaginesandrp · 3 years ago
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Stuck with You (Ksj)
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Summary: When the run-down elevator in your building breaks down, you find yourself trapped inside with your cute neighbor Seokjin.
Notes: 2k, One Shot, Neighbor!Ksj, N2L, Ksj x reader, fluff, mild angst
Warnings: Mild panic attack caused by claustrophobia [Any further warnings will be added upon request]
A/N: Please be nice this is the first time I write for BTS 🙈 {Also this was 0% Edited. oops}
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 Cold sweat makes its way down your back as the pads of your fingers nervously press down on the emergency button of the elevator for just about  the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes. They’re starting to hurt. Maybe not as much as your feet in the stupid shoes you decided to wear today, but they were definitely not this red when you first entered the building. Nevermind that, it’s starting to get ridiculously hot and you’re not entirely sure if the sweat is really from how stuffy it's getting in here, or if your fried nerves are starting to get a hold of you. 
You’d told the owner several times that the elevator needed to be fixed, and now your worst nightmare had come true before your very eyes. Not even two seconds in and the sound of screeching and whining metal rang in your ears before the elevator stopped completely, only to leave  you in darkness and a pounding heart that was very close to giving out on you. You’d never admit that you were claustrophobic, but with each second that passed, the air entering your lungs seemed to have more and more difficulty finding its way out. 
Had you been by yourself, you’d have completely lost it by now, but as luck would have it, the quiet - and much more controlled -  breaths beside you told you that you very much weren’t. In your panic you’d nearly forgotten you weren’t alone in the metal death trap you found yourself in. Thinking back to it now, you’d managed to avoid everyone in the lobby until his hand broke through the gap of the elevator just as the doors were closing.
Seokjin, your neighbor who moved in next door almost a year ago, stood about a foot away from you, nowhere near as worried about your current predicament as he probably should've been. In fact if it weren’t for the thin sheen of sweat gracing his forehead, you’d think he was just as content here as if he were at home. 
In the short amount of time you’d known him it was more than clear he was a sweet and kind person, not to mention his ridiculous sense of humor and his even more ridiculous good looks. It was unfair really, that someone who looked so perfect was just as beautiful on the inside. His presence now had kept you somewhat sane, for the most part. His kind smile now met your panicked eyes, offering you silent comfort in hopes that it would stop you from banging on the steel again. He approached you slowly, stepping over the grocery bags he’d been carrying when he ran inside. In your pacing back and forth you’re sure that you’d smushed an orange or two into the floor, but you could worry about that later.
 His hand finds your shoulder and your breathing suddenly takes a turn for the worse. Not that you didn’t want his touch of course, you’d been crushing on him since the moment you met him walking up the steps of your apartment one cloudy afternoon. You’d craved to be this close to him for a while but given the current circumstances, this was far from any daydream you’d ever ran through your head before.  
“Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” He began, pulling your attention away from your thoughts. “I have those chocolate bars you like.” He nods towards his bags and you arch your brow at him in confusion. All the blood drains from his face at the confession and he tries his best to backtrack without much success. “I mean- I just. I’ve seen you always grab some at the vending machine near the laundry room. Not that I always watch you. No wait-” A twitch of your lips gets him even more worked up. You watch in awe as his ears turn bright red and his words come out of him louder and faster. If you weren't filled with utter terror at the moment, you'd find it the most adorable thing in the world to see him this flustered. “-I mean  N-Not that I was staring! Why would I be staring at you! Sometimes I just happen to pass by when you’re there. Anyone could be there, it’s a public place you know? I just mean that-  I…” You shake your head at him to stop his rambling.
“It’s fine Jin” you muster with as much calmness as you could. He was a good distraction, but you were still stuck in a metal cage, dangling who knows how far above the ground. You were definitely gonna start taking the stairs from now on, this was getting to be too much for you. “I just lost my appetite really… I’ll just order something. If we ever get out- ” your voice breaks and before he can stop himself, his arms envelop you in a soft embrace. 
“Hey no don’t cry. It’s gonna be okay ______” he coos as you try and fail to control the stream of tears that leave you. You didn’t even know you were crying until he spoke, and now every time you tried to rein them in, more made their way out. “I’m here, you’re not alone.”
Jin wasn’t sure what came over him when he caught a glimpse of you entering the elevator, but he’d never been happier with his decision to run after you. Now as he felt you tremble in his arms, all he wanted was to make the fear go away. To make sure every tear was gone from your soft face and that nothing ever made you feel like this again.
He’s not really sure when he started to like you, but the moment he realized, it hit him like a truck. Maybe it was your kindness towards your elderly neighbor across the hall, or the way he could hear you belting out to your favorite music as you vacuumed your apartment. Or maybe it was because you were just so damn beautiful. With your sparkling eyes and the bright smile you gave him every time he was lucky enough to cross paths with you. He never stood a chance.
He really shouldn’t be feeling like this, like he wanted to keep holding you in his arms every day, to protect you. It made no sense after all, he was nothing but a stranger to you. But with every moment that passed, and every second that you didn’t push him away, something inside him fed hope that perhaps his feelings weren’t as one sided as he’d thought. 
“Listen,” he began again hoping to at least distract you. “You heard the maintenance guy not too long ago. The fire department has been called, we’ll be out of here in no time ok?” His voice was calm and soothing, and if it weren't for the fact that his touch sent a fire through your body, you're sure it would've been a cool balm to your nerves. You wipe your face with your sleeves and look up at him.
“I know, I- I just can’t breathe, I hate these things and it’s been too long now… I just-” You cut yourself off at the last minute to stop yourself from breaking down in front of him again.
“I understand ______. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to feel like this okay?” You nod and he reaches a hand to your face to wipe the remnants of a tear from your cheek. 
“You know -” he starts again, “ - one time I went fishing with a friend and our boat got stuck a few miles in. Man the fear I felt… I thought we’d be gone by then, but the human body is very resilient….” You listen as he rambles on about his friend and how he’s never taking him fishing again because not only were they  stuck in the middle of the sea, but they didn’t manage to catch a single fish. “Could you imagine my handsome face sunburnt? A horrible tragedy if there's ever been one..”
You latch on to his very word for who knows how long, until he’s got you giggling and the fear inside you is all but forgotten. The minutes pass and you don’t even realize that you’re still holding on to him until he reluctantly pulls away to offer you water, not fully letting go of your hand in the process. You both make it to the floor eventually, sitting side by side. He shares stories of his friends and you listen intently, now and again contributing with a comment and he swears your voice is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
It’s almost a whole hour after the elevator stopped that you hear banging from the other side of the doors. Tears spring in your eyes again as you realize your imprisonment is almost over. Jin clears his throat and with a heavy heart you release his hand, knowing your time together is almost at its end too. He gathers his things from the floor and you help him. You’re not sure why you suddenly get so bold, but you let your fingers linger on his a little longer than necessary when you hand him back one of the chocolate bars you liked.
“Here” he says, handing it back to you. “I think you need it a little more than me right now” You chuckle and graciously accept it.
“Thank you Jin. I’d have gone completely mad without your help” He offers you a sweet content smile and your heart leaps, knowing it’s for you.
“Any time_____. Though let’s hope they actually fix this damn thing for once.”
The sounds of the doors being pushed open grow louder and the relief you feel when you start hearing voices outside is indescribable. As soon as you are able to, you pull away from Jin and drag your way out into the bright sunlight you never thought you’d see again. The firefighters help Jin pull you up and out of the elevator, slowly pulling you to the side to tend to your hand.
 There’s a small crowd standing by the lobby, watching and shaking their heads as they watch the firemen work. A few of them have less than kind looks for the owner as he stumbles his way in, with disheveled clothes and a distraught look in his eye. You’re offered an oxygen mask and you watch as a few moments later Seokjin is also pulled out to his freedom. He finds you almost immediately and moves his way over to you with nothing but relief in his eyes. 
“You okay?” he says as he pulls an oxygen mask to his face.
“Yeah, much better now.” 
“I’m glad. You were very brave, you know?” You scoff and he shakes his head. “Now don’t give me that, I'm serious ______. If we’d been stuck in a room full of insects you'd have had to give me cpr.” 
“Well let's hope the owner never decides to start a butterfly sanctuary on the roof”
“I would literally move cities” He deadpans and you start to laugh again. 
The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur as the firemen ask you a bunch of health questions. The owner comes by to apologize to the both of you, begging  you not to press any charges and only leaving you both alone once you both agreed to. Jin’s hand finds its way to yours again, and this time neither one of you breaks the contact.  
After the sun has long left the sky, the lobby is mostly empty save for the maintenance folks who work on the elevator that you never want to spare another glance to. Jin makes to stand. 
“Come on _____ let me walk you up to your apartment. With the way the elevator went, I’m not taking any chances with the stairs” You actually let yourself laugh at that and take his outstretched hand to pull yourself up. “Are you hungry?” As if on queue your stomach decides to growl loudly. You throw your hand over your stomach and his face breaks into a huge grin.  
“I’m actually starving, now that you mention it'' you admit sheepishly. 
“Well I got some dinner waiting to be reheated at home and I wouldn’t mind sharing. What do you say?” He gives you a smile so dazzling, you think you’d melt back into the ground if it weren’t for his steady arm holding on to you. 
“I’d love that” 
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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! 💜 [If you liked this please help me out by leaving some feedback on my ask box. It’s always appreciated!]
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daegalfangirl · 4 years ago
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└> SUMMARY; based off of the song "bye my first" by nct dream, love is a little hard.
└> GENRE; angst angst angst kind of a teensy bit of fluff??? unrequited love (on both ends) bffs to strangers to friends
└> WORD COUNT; 2.4k+
└> PAIRING; donghyuck/jeno x fem!reader
└> WARNINGS; they grow up like super fast, i think theres cussing i cant remember, donghyuck has like a weird obsessive moment (but it goes away)
└> TAGLIST; @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @skrtbeepbeep @tarolovebot @sunshinedhyuck @haechanswhore (BYEE OMG IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD YOU TO THE INITIAL TAGLIST 😭😭😭)
└> A/N; the angsty ass heartbreak yet the closure at the end is so UGHHHHHH i wrote this all in an hour and a half and tbh for the time spent on it im extremely satisfied. prolly my fav fic so far (mostly cus im an angst lover) but i really hope y'all like it as much as i did! also i've been super super busy this week i only got the chance to proofread once so i'm very very very sorry for the errors. i also rushed putting this together (bc again im really busy rn) so i apologize if there's anything odd. if there's an error that sticks out obnoxiously to you feel free to tell me!
part of the feelings on shuffle. collab!
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ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı
↳ currently playing ;;
Bye My First... - NCT DREAM
0:56 ——•———————— 3:26
↺ << ll >> ⋮≡
ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ: ————•
Love, I only have you
When  I said I'd risk my life
To  prove you were my last love
That was yesterday (Woo!)
Your sobs loudly spread through the playground, as the other kids ignore your pain. There was always some crying kid at the playground everyday. Ignoring the pain of a peer was an odd normalization, but it existed at your school. No one seemed to care about your injury.
But he did.
Lee Donghyuck. He was quite popular among your peers due to his extroverted personality. He was the last person you'd expect to see when you opened your eyes.
At first you were in disbelief and thought you misunderstood because of your blurry vision from the overflowing tears.
But it was real.
"Hey, don't cry." He urged, not knowing what to do. He himself didn't know why he was here either, he'd always ignore people when they cried. It's not because he wanted to, but because he didn't know what to do.
Though, when he saw you, he felt the urge to protect you.
That was the first step into something dangerous between the two of you.
To this day you're still not sure whether you regret it or not.
It was clumsy first love
Always  by your side, next to you
I  followed you around everywhere, I might as well stick to you
I thought everything would work out if we did it all together
"Haechan!" You yelled while running next to your best friend. It was the last day of elementary school, and you wanted to spend the whole day with your best friend (and crush), Lee Donghyuck.
You'd miss him over the summer, he always brightened your day. He felt the same way as well, both of you clinging to each other the whole day.
"You know... It's a different school and stuff. We won't forget about each other Hyuckie, right?" You asked, twiddling with your fingers in worry. "Of course not, we'll always be best friends Y/n." He said as the both of you hugged each other, not wanting to let go.
You'd never let go of him, or so you thought.
Oh, how much simpler it was to be young and careless.
--
"We have new neighbors Y/n, and they have a son your age. I know you've been missing Donghyuck, so why don't you try to make a new friend?" Your mother urged, saddened by your unhappy state ever since the summer started.
"But mommy... no one will ever replace Donghyuck." You said tearing up. You had really grown a connection with your “best friend”, and it was quite noticeable.
God, were you a sensitive child.
"I'm not telling you to replace him baby, just make a new friend!" She tried once again, hoping you'd follow through with her request.
You mumbled a small fine before going back to your room to put on some shoes. You washed away all your worries, wanting to experience some happiness over the summer.
You opened the door and walked out. You twiddled with your fingers in nervousness, that being one of your most annoying habits. You walked out, and as soon as you went out your eyes met familiar ones.
Haechan?
Haechan!
The both of you ran towards each other, falling on the grass with your bodies attached in a comforting hug. You both laughed and brushed off the grass from your clothes.
"Why are you here Haechan??" You asked, completely confused. How did he know where you lived?? Isn't that a little cree-
"I moved here! I didn't even know you lived here Y/n, but I'm happy." He says clapping his hands, excited for what the summer brings between the two of you.
A summer full of Haechan was exactly what you wanted! You were glad to have your best friend live next door, as it opened more doors for your friendship.
Although, a summer full of Donghyuck was not what you needed for the future.
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Those were the days of youth, it was like a movie
The anxiety that's been closely followed by love
I thought I grew up
What do I do?
All  those times were memories
It all passed by
6th grade. In 5th grade you were at the top of the chain at the school. Now you begin once again at the bottom. You're finally growing up, something you didn't expect to hit so soon.
Growing up? You're so funny Y/n.
You and Haechan didn't have any classes together, only sharing the same homeroom. It was a bit disheartening, but you knew you guys would still be glued together.
Yeah, you sure knew...
"Y/n, guess what?" Donghyuck said as he ran up to you, clearly in a bright mood. You were happy to see him happy, expecting some great news. You nodded at him and smiled.
"I have a girlfriend!"
The words you've dreaded and hoped to never come out of his mouth.
It was going to happen, was it not? But why so soon....
He was your best friend. Stop overstepping your boundaries Y/n, know your place. You're being selfish, you scolded yourself mentally.
Be happy for him, his happiness is yours.
You nodded and smiled at him, not knowing what else to say. "Do you wanna meet her?" He asked, wanting his best friend and girlfriend to get along. "Sure!" You said, getting up.
"She's in our homeroom, over here!" He said dragging you by your hand. "Hey, Luna, this is my best friend Y/n." Donghyuck said introducing the both of you to each other.
You could detect her scowl from a mile away, her eyes glaring at you and Haechan’s intertwined hands. You looked back at Haechan, clearly oblivious to her reaction.
Couldn't he date someone nicer? It could've been so much easier for you.
They'll break up after a couple weeks, middle school relationships never last.
Their relationship definitely lasted longer than it should have.
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Baby (Baby)
I'm really gonna go crazy (Crazy)
Because I fell for you
And all I knew was straight ahead
Donghyuck didn't know what to do.
"Stop being friends with her." The words rang in his head constantly, as he weighed out his options. He couldn't do this to her, not Luna, she was his first girlfriend. He wanted to her to be his first and last
God, what a fucking mistake on his end.
--
"We can't be friends anymore." Donghyuck said, not bothering to make eye contact with you. Your heart shattered with his words. Why? Why would he do this?
You knew exactly why.
Donghyuck and Luna have been dating on and off since 6th grade, it's now 9th grade. There was always one common subject in their arguments that led to breakups.
You.
You should've known sooner, but it's still a major letdown. You didn't know whether to be disappointed in yourself or Donghyuck. "Okay." You sighed, holding your tears.
"Huh? Really?" Donghyuck said, finally turning to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were never something he could decipher, maybe that's why he was so attracted to you-
-as a friend of course.
Your eyes looked dull, but he couldn't tell what you were feeling in the moment. "It was expected of you, Haechan. You've been avoiding me recently, and it doesn't take a genius to know why." You explained.
"I know you'll be fine. You were turning away from me to hang out with those basketball boys anyways, not that I dislike them." You answered before walking away.
He didn't deserve to see your tears. You're a strong girl, are you not?
You didn't want to hear what he had to say, you didn't even want to hear an apology. You knew Haechan, correction, Donghyuck pitied you in this moment.
You don't need his pity. If he really cared he wouldn't have done this.
All these years so in love with a boy that never cared to love you back, so it felt.
Yeah, now you know how heartbreak feels like.
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It's whatever, so so
I guess this is it
I wanted to do better
I still don't know
I've only went this far
(Love is a little hard)
You never opened your curtains. Not once, never again. Your window pointed straight to Donghyuck's room, and you didn't need to be constantly reminded.
You remember when you made the mistake of opening your curtains, you saw Luna in his room, giggling. As soon as she saw you, her laughs amplified.
It was sad. You knew what she was trying to do, yet it still worked.
She knew how to remind you that you've lost, and you let her step on top of you. She won, that's all that mattered in her eyes.
It was all a major reality check, because Donghyuck didn't care. He never did. He never cared about you, not since day 1.
He saved you from that playground, only from mere infatuation. You weren't a fool, you noticed it. He never cared about you, he was just interested in the idea of having a friend like you.
What a piece of shit.
Never, never again.
--
Donghyuck felt like absolute shit. He had never seen or heard of you after that. Of course he noticed how your curtains were always closed, how could he not?
He asked the Neo basketball team for advice, not knowing what to do. He missed your friendship, he missed you.
How could he have been so inconsiderate?
He remembers how the Neo basketball team looked at him when he explained the story, criticizing him. Taeyong had to be the one to tell everyone to stop, but he shouldn't have.
He knew he deserved it.
He laid on his bed that night. Body facing the window, the one which you shared many memories communicating.

That night he cried.
For the first time in his life, Lee Donghyuck cried for you.
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That's right, I'm so so
Maybe I'm young-minded
I didn't want to be caught
A secret only I know
I'll bury it here
(Love is a little hard)
Donghyuck was popular, he'd been popular his whole life. Not only that, he was commonly crushed around campus. Too bad though, because everyone knew he was Luna's boyfriend.
He knew that everyone viewed him in his relationship as Luna's boyfriend.
Duh, obviously. They were dating. But why did Donghyuck hate the label so much?
The answer was obvious, but he’d never accept the truth. It's far too late.
Today was another realization for Donghyuck. He walked into the library, or almost did. He stopped once he heard Luna's voice. He hoisted the door to the library slightly open so that he could hear what was being said.
"Awe, all alone now aren't you? No Donghyuck to stay by your lonely side? Not anymore.” Luna said, taunting you.
Haechan didn't have to think twice to know who Luna was talking to.
You hummed softly, giving her minimal attention. Luna was unhappy by your response, or lack thereof. "No reaction? Someone’s being a little bold." Luna scowled.
You once again failed to give her any attention. Haechan noticed how the situation was escalating and took the risk of being seen by one of you.
He had to see what was going on, and he decided to peep his head through the door to look at the scene.
You had been intentionally ignoring Luna everytime she tried insulting you, because you knew she always wanted a reaction from you. It reassured her, a win in her eyes.
Luna had enough with you. She had quite the short temper, which wasn't much of a secret to the school. Haechan had never seen her try to get violent, not until now.
She raised her hand, now milliseconds away from slapping you.
That memory will forever be ingrained in his mind, the moment he realized he didn't protect you. He hurt you, he witnessed someone he (thought he) loved try to do the same.
He felt pathetic as he walked away from the library, not bothering to intervene. He decided to keep it to himself, a rather painful secret.
Why did things have to get so complicated?
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Ooh, I know as much as everyone else
Now, I'm not
Young anymore
I told you to trust me
Endless love
Someone in your heart
Don't get carried away
It's eventually stop
Junior year. Oh how time passes by so quickly.
Haechan didn't expect to walk into his class on the first day to see you and Jeno laughing. One of his own best friends, how could Jeno do this to him?
All he saw was red. He was lucky that Jaemin stopped him before he did anything he’d regret.
"I'm so fucking tired of this Donghyuck." Jaemin said, clearly about to burst. "Grow the fuck up. She's not yours, she never was. You treated her like shit and now you're angry someone's making her happy again? I don’t wanna get involved in something that has nothing to do with me, but I knew if I didn't pull you back you would've hurt my best friend. I’m not letting that happen, not in my eyes again.."
Jaemin was so right, Haechan couldn't even correct him. It was the truth.
That day, he broke up with Luna.
It's time he starts a new beginning, but he couldn't let go of you, not just yet.
He wanted you back in his life again.
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You said I was the only one in the world
But let go of my hand
And I stupidly held onto those days
I truly knew nothing
Such a pure first and last
It all passed by
It was official, the day he had always dreaded. You were officially star basketball player Lee Jeno's girlfriend.
Donghyuck knocked at your door, expecting your mother to open the door. Of course things didn't go according to plan, because Lee fucking Jeno opened the door.
"Huh? Donghyuck? Why are you here." Jeno asked, confused.
You were in the kitchen and as soon as you heard his name you got up in confusion and walked to the door.
It had been so long, too long since the two of you had spoken to one another. "Why are you here, Donghyuck?" You asked in confusion. He could see the way your eyes dulled when you looked at him, and it hurt so much. He deserved it though, he really did. "Let's talk, in private." He said, not wanting to confront you in front of Jeno.
"Okay." You said as Jeno walked back in, you following him outside.
Baby (Baby)
My heart has changed (Heart)
If I don't say something
You'll never notice
"What did you need?" You asked Donghyuck uninterestedly, but still not as bothered as you'd expected. Neither of you felt as if you were prepared for this moment, the closure.
This was the end. The end of you and Donghyuck’s chapter of failed romance.
"I want to try again-" Before silence could pass after his words you laughed loudly. He would've enjoyed the giggle if it was in any other context.
"Now? After how many years? Donghyuck, I don't know what makes you think I'm so easy to get but it's honestly really weird. I thought you'd be happy for me, no?" You asked, utterly confused yet amused.
You sighed, finally deciding to take this seriously. Both of you needed this closure. "Donghyuck I'm thankful for everything, you were my first love. For 7 years I was head over heels for you, but I was too optimistic when it came to my trust in you. I think it's time we both let go and just settle down as friends. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but what's done is done. I'm happy, and I don't want to hurt mine and Jeno's feelings just for your own satisfaction. I love you so much, but I know you can find someone so much better. Please move on, because I have and I don't want to see you in pain. Maybe if things were different we could've been together, maybe if you didn't break my heart.”
Those were the words he needed. It's time.
It's time to let go.
The both of you cried in each other's arms, it was a goodbye to the past and a hello to your present.
"Thank you for everything." You said in a broken voice as Haechan nodded, not wanting to speak knowing his voice would break.
The pain the both of you suffered was immeasurable, but it's what brings you to beautiful moments like these.
Now you're both finally growing up.
So yeah, maybe love is a little hard.
“we’re always learning as we grow. even though we all have our painful experiences, but they shape us into who we are now. so thank you, thank you for shaping me into who i am. i will truly love you till the end. thank you for being my first love, for teaching me to let go.
from your forever best friend, y/n.”
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kvydence, 2021 ❣︎
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