#also her: is the one who killed her lover
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arilevenatz · 2 days ago
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Outscored 𝟐┃C.JH
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Pairing: jock! Jongho x Reader
Genre/trope: enemies to lovers au
Word Count: 25.7k (💀) [it's gonna be a 2 parter]
Warnings: biker jongho (need I say more?), he is also a bit annoying, but he becomes a MAN at the end
AN: Ok I'm a sucker for jongho, u guys know it. And after he posted his picture I had a seizure. And I kinda slipped and wrote this whole thing. And yeah this is for all the jongho girlies out there like me. Please please please love this as I spent a lot of time writing this!
This is part two. Read part one here-
one | two
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The project turned out better than either of them had expected, and when the professor handed back the grades, it was no surprise that YN and Jongho had scored the highest. The students in the class started whispering about them, dubbing them "the power partners."
YN, however, hated the nickname. She rolled her eyes every time she heard someone say it. “Why can’t people just mind their own business?” she muttered to Hanni one day in the cafeteria.
Hanni, ever the supportive friend, smirked. “Maybe because you and Jongho looked like an actual dream team. Admit it—you two killed that project.”
“Still,” YN huffed, stabbing her salad with unnecessary force, “I don’t like it.”
Over at the ATEEZ table, Jongho wasn’t exactly thrilled with the nickname either. He frowned as one of his friends, Wooyoung, teased him about it.
“Power partners, huh? Sounds about right,” Wooyoung said with a sly grin. “I mean, you two make a good team.”
“Shut up,” Jongho grumbled, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t like it either.”
“Yeah, sure,” Mingi teased, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t like it. But you don’t seem to mind being around her all the time.”
Jongho scowled, but before he could retort, Yeosang, who had been silently observing, spoke up. “Let’s be real, Jongho. Do you actually dislike her, or are you just saying that because you don’t want to admit something?”
“What’s there to admit?” Jongho snapped, crossing his arms.
Seonghwa, ever the voice of reason, sighed. “You’ve been weird about her since day one. You get irritated when she’s better than you, but you also can’t stop noticing every little thing about her. Either figure it out or let it go, because we’re tired of your denial.”
“Exactly,” San added with a grin. “Test it out. See if you actually like her or if she’s just in your head because she’s always in your space.”
Jongho glared at them all, but their words stuck with him. That night, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. About the way she had taken charge during the project, the way she had cooked for him, the way she had looked at him when she smiled after their grade was announced.
“Do I… like her?” he muttered to himself, the thought making him feel uneasy.
He shook his head, frustrated. No, it couldn’t be that. It was just… annoyance. Competition. Nothing more.
But the thought lingered, and for the first time, Jongho wasn’t so sure of his own answer.
Jongho’s dilemma had become everyone else’s entertainment. His friends, fed up with his constant denial, decided to take matters into their own hands. They came up with a "foolproof" series of tests to help him figure out his feelings.
Test 1: The Jealousy Test
Hongjoong kicked things off by walking up to YN during lunch. With his signature smirk, he leaned casually against her table and said, “YN, you’re looking gorgeous today. How about we ditch class and grab some coffee?”
Jongho, sitting across the cafeteria, froze mid-bite. His eyes narrowed as he watched Hongjoong laugh at something YN said.
“Dude,” Mingi whispered, nudging him. “Why are you gripping your fork like you’re about to stab someone?”
“I’m not,” Jongho muttered through gritted teeth.
“Uh-huh,” Yeosang said, amused. “Sure looks like it.” Wooyoung winked at Jongho. “Yep, he’s pissed. Jealousy level: high.”
“I’m not jealous,” Jongho growled.
“Right,” Wooyoung said, grinning. “And I’m not handsome.”
Test 2: The Compliment Test
The next day, San decided to push Jongho’s buttons. During class, he loudly announced, “You know, YN is really something. She’s smart, funny, and have you seen her hair? Shiny like silk. I bet she smells amazing too.”
Jongho, who was sitting behind YN, audibly scoffed.
San turned around, feigning innocence. “What? You don’t agree, Jongho?”
“She’s… fine,” Jongho said flatly, avoiding everyone’s amused stares.
“Fine?” San repeated, pretending to be offended. “That’s all you’ve got? She’s perfect, and you know it.”
Jongho slouched lower in his seat, muttering, “Shut up, San.”
Test 3: The Heartbeat Test
Seonghwa, ever the schemer, pulled out a fitness tracker with a heart rate monitor. “Okay, Jongho,” he said, strapping it onto his wrist. “Time to see how you react to her.”
“This is stupid,” Jongho grumbled, but he didn’t resist when Seonghwa placed the tracker on his wrist.
As YN walked into the room, Jongho’s heart rate spiked immediately. The boys stared at the tracker in silence before bursting into laughter.
“Calm down, lover boy,” Mingi teased. “You’re about to break the machine.”
Jongho yanked the tracker off, his face red. “It’s broken,” he insisted.
“Sure it is,” Yeosang said with a knowing smirk.
Test 4: The Accidental Touch
Mingi "accidentally" bumped YN into Jongho while they were walking down the hallway. She stumbled, her hand brushing against Jongho’s arm as he steadied her.
“You okay?” Jongho asked, his voice unusually soft.
“I’m fine, thanks,” YN replied, smiling politely before walking off.
The boys, watching from a distance, erupted into cheers.
“Did you see that?” Wooyoung howled. “He didn’t even yell at her!”
Jongho ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I hate all of you.”
“Face it, man,” San said, clapping him on the back. “You’ve got it bad.”
Despite the teasing and their ridiculous tests, Jongho couldn’t shake the growing realization. No matter how much he denied it, his friends were right—YN had gotten under his skin, and there was no turning back.
YN paced back and forth in her dorm room, arms crossed and brows furrowed as she fumed. “What is their problem? Why can’t they just leave me alone?!” she practically yelled.
Hanni sat on the bed, nervously watching her friend explode. She held a notebook in her lap but had completely forgotten about it as she tried to calm YN down. “Okay, okay, breathe. Don’t let them get to you, YN. They’re just… being their usual chaotic selves.”
“No,” YN snapped, spinning around to face Hanni. “This isn’t just their usual chaos. They’re deliberately messing with me, and I’m done with it.” She threw her hands up in frustration. “What do they even want from me?!”
Hanni bit her lip. “I mean… maybe Jongho likes you?”
YN stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Hanni like she’d grown another head. “What? Jongho? Like me? Absolutely not.”
Hanni shrugged, holding up her hands in surrender. “I’m just saying! It’s not like he goes out of his way to mess with anyone else like this.”
YN groaned, pressing her palms to her temples. “Even if that were true, how does this make any sense? His friends are involved now too! They’re all acting like lunatics, and I’m losing my mind.”
Hanni got up, placing her hands on YN’s shoulders. “Okay, listen. You want peace, right?”
“Yes,” YN said through gritted teeth.
“Then confront them. March up to their table, call them out, and demand an answer. If Jongho or his friends don’t give you one, I’ll personally throw my coffee at Wooyoung.”
Despite her anger, YN couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “You’d really throw your coffee at Wooyoung?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Hanni said with a grin. “I’d make it iced so it stings more.”
YN sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Fine. Tomorrow, I’m confronting them. But if I don’t get a proper answer, they’d better be prepared.”
Hanni gave her a thumbs-up. “Now that’s the YN I know. Go get ‘em, tiger.”
The next day, YN stormed into the cafeteria during lunch. The usual buzz of chatter filled the room, but she had her sights set on one table: Ateez’s.
Without hesitation, she marched over and slammed her hands on the table, startling them all. The entire cafeteria seemed to quiet down as people turned to watch.
“What do you want from me?!” YN demanded, her voice firm.
The boys exchanged glances, some smirking, some looking a bit guilty. Jongho, sitting at the center, raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” he asked calmly.
“Oh, don’t play dumb,” YN snapped. “I know you’ve all been messing with me. Whatever weird little game this is, stop it. I don’t have time for this nonsense.”
Wooyoung leaned back in his chair, grinning. “She’s feisty. I like her.”
“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa warned, giving him a look.
“Look,” YN continued, glaring at Jongho specifically, “I don’t care what your problem is. If you have something to say to me, say it. Otherwise, stay out of my way.”
Jongho leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he met her gaze. His expression was unreadable, but his voice was low and steady. “Maybe I do have something to say.”
The tension was thick as YN folded her arms, her heart racing despite her anger. “Then say it.”
For a moment, it seemed like Jongho might actually confess something, but instead, he leaned back in his chair and smirked. “Not here. Later.”
YN rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable,” she muttered, turning on her heel to leave.
Behind her, the boys chuckled, but Jongho remained quiet, his smirk fading as he watched her walk away.
The lecture droned on, the professor’s voice blending into the background as YN’s attention started to waver. She rested her chin on her hand, her fingers tapping lightly on the desk. Her focus drifted from the lesson, and she casually let her gaze wander around the classroom, trying to keep herself awake.
It was an innocent habit. A quick scan of the room, her eyes briefly passing over her classmates. But when her gaze landed on Jongho, she froze.
He was already looking at her.
It wasn’t just a passing glance or idle staring. His eyes were locked onto her with an intensity that felt borderline magnetic. His dark brown eyes were sharp, unwavering, and inexplicably powerful. It was like he wasn’t just looking at her—he was seeing straight through her.
YN’s breath hitched for a moment. Her stomach churned with unease, but at the same time, something unfamiliar twisted deep within her. She hated to admit it, but he looked… ridiculously attractive. His expression was calm but unreadable, his jawline accentuated by the way he tilted his head slightly.
Why does he look like that? she thought, trying to keep her composure. And why can’t I stop looking at him?
It reminded her of that night at the red light stop—the same piercing gaze through the black helmet. But this time, it felt more personal. There was no helmet to mask his features, no physical barrier between them. Just those impossibly striking eyes.
She quickly averted her gaze, her cheeks warming despite herself. Get it together, YN. It’s just Jongho.
But her heart wasn’t cooperating. It beat just a little faster than usual, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of his stare lingering even after she looked away.
Unbeknownst to her, Jongho smirked faintly. He had caught the way her face changed, the subtle way her lips parted in surprise before she turned away. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him feel victorious.
Interesting, he thought, leaning back in his chair. So she’s not entirely unaffected after all.
Jongho was never the kind of person to overthink emotions. He dealt with things as they came, approaching life with confidence and logic. But when it came to YN, logic didn’t seem to work anymore. Every time he saw her, his feelings became more chaotic, more confusing, and undeniably more prominent. While he couldn’t fully grasp what he felt, his actions started to show it, whether he intended them to or not.
YN was seated in her usual spot, scribbling notes furiously as the professor explained a particularly complex topic. Jongho sat a few rows behind her, his eyes drifting toward her more often than his notebook.
The class was halfway through when the professor announced a quick pop quiz. Everyone groaned, including YN, who had just run out of ink in her pen.
“Great timing,” she muttered under her breath, shaking the pen in frustration. She rummaged through her pencil case, but it was clear she didn’t have a spare.
Jongho noticed immediately. He reached into his bag, pulling out an extra pen without hesitation. Instead of handing it over himself, he nudged the guy sitting next to him, gesturing toward YN.
“Pass this to her,” Jongho said, his voice low.
The pen made its way to YN, who blinked in surprise when it landed on her desk. She glanced over her shoulder to see who it came from, her eyes landing on Jongho. He didn’t say anything, just met her gaze briefly before looking away, as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“Thanks,” she whispered, though he didn’t acknowledge it.
It was a small gesture, but it left YN feeling oddly unsettled. For someone who usually went out of his way to annoy her, the act of kindness felt strange—almost deliberate.
YN sat at her usual corner table, flipping through a thick reference book for an upcoming assignment. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn’t notice Jongho entering the library until he pulled out the chair across from her and sat down.
She looked up, startled. “What are you doing here?”
“Studying,” he said simply, pulling out his notebook.
She frowned. “There are plenty of other tables.”
“This one’s fine,” he replied, not looking at her as he started writing.
YN sighed, deciding to ignore him and focus on her own work. But as the minutes ticked by, she couldn’t help but notice him stealing glances at her. She tried to brush it off, thinking it was her imagination, until she reached for her coffee cup and accidentally knocked it over.
“Crap,” she muttered, quickly grabbing a tissue from her bag to clean up the spill.
Before she could fully manage, Jongho slid his notebook aside, pulling out a small packet of tissues from his jacket pocket. He handed it to her without a word.
YN paused, staring at him. “You carry tissues around?”
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “You never know when someone’s going to be clumsy.”
She rolled her eyes but took the tissues. “Thanks, I guess.”
Jongho smirked faintly but said nothing, leaning back in his chair as she cleaned up the mess.
As she continued working, YN couldn’t help but feel his presence more than usual. There was something different about him lately—something softer. And though she hated to admit it, it was starting to mess with her head.
Jongho, on the other hand, was quietly observing her, trying to figure out why watching her focus so intently on her work made him feel strangely… content.
It was one of those days where the world seemed to be falling apart for YN. She sat in the library, her head buried in her arms, tears streaming silently down her face. Her phone lay on the table next to her, the call from her mother still echoing in her mind. Her dad had suffered a stroke. The news had hit her like a freight train, and the helplessness of not being able to reach him was eating her alive.
She had tried everything—calling for train tickets, searching for buses, and even looking into flights—but nothing seemed to work. The distance to her hometown suddenly felt insurmountable, and it left her feeling trapped and powerless.
Hanni sat beside her, her own heart breaking at the sight of her best friend in such despair. She had never seen YN like this—so vulnerable, so broken. Hanni tried to console her, rubbing her back gently, but she knew words wouldn’t fix this.
“You need to go to him,” Hanni said softly.
“I can’t,” YN choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. “There’s no way to get there.”
Hanni clenched her fists, her mind racing. If no one else could help, then there was only one person who could. She didn’t hesitate. Standing up, she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the library, leaving YN behind.
Jongho and his friends were lounging in their usual spot outside the gym, the air filled with their loud chatter and occasional bursts of laughter. Mingi was tossing a football back and forth with San, while Wooyoung was busy showing off some absurd new trick with a deck of cards. Hongjoong leaned against a bench, scrolling through his phone, while Jongho sat quietly, sipping on his protein shake, his usual stoic presence anchoring the group.
The peace was shattered when Hanni stormed into the scene, her expression a mix of frustration and desperation. The group turned to her, their conversations dying mid-sentence.
“What’s this?” Wooyoung smirked, tossing the cards onto the table. “The library queen has graced us with her presence?”
Hanni ignored him completely, her eyes locking onto Jongho. “I need to talk to you.”
Jongho raised an eyebrow, setting down his drink. “What is it?”
“It’s YN,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “Her dad had a stroke, and she needs to get home, but there are no tickets available. She’s stuck, and she’s losing it. You have a bike. You can take her.”
The guys exchanged glances, the playful atmosphere immediately shifting into something more serious.
“And why do you think he should do it?” San asked, crossing his arms.
“Because he’s the only one who can!” Hanni snapped, her tone sharper than she intended. “I wouldn’t trust you to get her there safely. Jongho can handle it.”
Jongho’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Why me?”
“Because,” Hanni said, her voice softening, “for all your stupid games and ego battles, I know you care about her.”
The group went silent, all eyes on Jongho. He didn’t say anything at first, his jaw clenching slightly as he processed her words. Then, without a word, he stood up, grabbing his bag from the bench.
“Where is she?” he asked.
“The library,” Hanni said quickly.
“Alright,” he muttered, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go.”
His friends watched as he started walking off, a mix of surprise and curiosity on their faces.
“Wait,” Wooyoung called out, smirking. “Is this your knight-in-shining-armor moment, Jongho? Should we start calling you Prince Charming now?”
“Shut up,” Jongho shot back, but there was no real heat in his tone.
As Hanni led him toward the library, she couldn’t help but glance at him out of the corner of her eye. Despite his usual stoic demeanor, there was a determined look in his eyes that gave her hope. Maybe, just maybe, YN had someone who would always be there when it truly mattered.
The library was eerily quiet as Hanni and Jongho stepped inside, the soft sound of turning pages and the occasional rustle of papers filling the air. Hanni led the way to the corner where YN was sitting, her head buried in her arms, silent tears streaming down her face.
Jongho’s jaw tightened at the sight. He didn’t hesitate. Striding up to her, he stopped just a step away and cleared his throat.
“YN,” he said firmly, his voice cutting through the quiet like a blade.
She lifted her head slowly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She blinked up at him, confusion crossing her face.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
“I’m taking you home,” he said bluntly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Get your stuff and pack a bag. We’re leaving now.”
She stared at him for a moment, stunned by his words. Normally, she would’ve protested or argued back, but she was too emotionally drained to put up a fight. Instead, she just nodded, her movements slow and robotic as she stood and grabbed her bag.
Hanni watched the exchange with a mix of relief and curiosity. She had never seen Jongho so direct, so...caring, even if he wouldn’t admit it.
“Thank you,” Hanni whispered to Jongho as YN gathered her things.
He didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on YN the entire time. Once she was ready, he turned on his heel and led the way out of the library, his stride confident.
The ride was quiet, the hum of the bike engine filling the silence as they sped down the highway. YN sat behind Jongho, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as the cool night air whipped past them.
Jongho didn’t say a word, but he drove with an intensity that YN couldn’t ignore. Despite everything—the teasing, the bickering, the games—she felt a strange sense of safety in that moment.
She rested her head lightly against his back, her tears drying as the rhythm of the bike soothed her nerves. She didn’t know what to say, and for once, she didn’t feel the need to fill the silence.
Jongho, on the other hand, was acutely aware of her presence. Her warmth against his back, the way her arms tightened around him every time they turned a corner—it was all making his thoughts spiral. He didn’t understand why he felt so protective of her, why her tears had struck such a chord with him.
But one thing was certain: he would do whatever it took to get her home, no questions asked.
As they entered the hospital, the smell of antiseptic filled the air, mingling with the muffled sounds of machines and quiet conversations. YN wasted no time running toward the general ward, her heart pounding as she navigated the maze of hallways. Jongho followed closely behind, her bag slung over his shoulder, his usually calm expression now tinged with concern.
When she finally reached the ward, her heart sank. Her father was lying on a general bed, his face pale and drawn, wires and monitors attached to him. Her mother sat by his side, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, exhaustion etched into her features.
“Mom,” YN called, her voice trembling as she approached. “What’s going on? Why is he here? Why isn’t he in a proper room?”
Her mother looked up, her tired eyes meeting YN’s. “The hospital is full, sweetheart,” she said, her voice heavy. “There aren’t any rooms available right now. This was the only space they had.”
YN clenched her fists, her heart breaking at the sight of her father in such a crowded and uncomfortable setting. She looked around, taking in the other patients crammed into the small ward, the lack of privacy, and the impersonal atmosphere.
“This isn’t right,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “He needs proper care.”
Just as the air in the room grew heavier with worry, a nurse approached them, her voice soft but clear.
“Excuse me,” she said, looking at YN’s mother. “A private room has just been arranged for your husband. We’ll move him there shortly.”
YN blinked, her mind racing with confusion. She looked at her mother, who appeared equally surprised, and then back at the nurse.
“Wait, what?” YN asked, standing up abruptly. “How did that happen? Who...who arranged it?”
The nurse didn't say anything, YN was shocked, glancing at Jongho, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, his expression unreadable.
“Someone already covered the charges,” the nurse said quietly.
YN’s gaze snapped to Jongho, her heart sinking and racing all at once. She stared at him, her eyes wide with a mix of disbelief, confusion, and something she couldn’t quite name.
“You...you paid for it?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly.
Jongho shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “It’s no big deal,” he said, his tone casual. “Your dad needed a proper room, and you didn’t have time to deal with all the red tape. That’s all.”
“No big deal?” YN repeated, her voice rising. She took a step closer to him, her emotions swirling in a chaotic storm. “Jongho, private rooms in a hospital cost a fortune! You can’t just—why would you even—”
He finally looked at her then, his gaze steady but tinged with something soft, something almost vulnerable. “Because you needed it,” he said simply. “That’s all that matters.”
For a moment, YN couldn’t speak. Her throat felt tight, and she wasn’t sure if it was from gratitude, anger, or something else entirely. She glanced at her mother, who was watching them with a knowing look, and then back at Jongho.
“You didn’t have to do this,” she said, her voice quieter now, almost a whisper.
“I wanted to,” he replied, his tone leaving no room for argument.
The nurse cleared her throat gently, breaking the tension. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go make sure everything is ready for the transfer,” she said before walking away.
YN stood there, her emotions a whirlwind. She wanted to thank him, to argue with him, to understand why he would do something so selfless after everything they’d been through. But instead, she just nodded, her voice trembling as she said, “Thank you, Jongho. Really.”
He gave her a small nod, his stoic facade firmly in place. But as she turned back to her father, he allowed himself a brief moment to watch her, his chest tightening with an emotion he was finally starting to understand.
The hospital lobby was quiet except for the occasional announcements over the intercom. YN sat on one of the plastic chairs, arms wrapped around herself, staring at the floor. Jongho sat beside her, his legs stretched out, arms crossed, silent as ever. The check-up was still ongoing, and the wait felt endless.
She didn’t know why, but the weight in her chest felt unbearable. Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was the emotions swirling in her head. Or maybe it was because, for the first time in a long while, someone was sitting beside her, just… there. No judgment. No empty words of comfort. Just Jongho, quiet and solid.
Without really thinking, she spoke. “My dad is an alcoholic.”
Jongho turned his head slightly, his brows furrowing, but he didn’t say anything. He just listened.
“He wasn’t always like this,” she continued, her fingers clenching the fabric of her hoodie. “He used to be a good dad. He worked hard, took care of us, made stupid dad jokes. But then… something changed.”
Jongho didn’t ask what. He let her talk.
“He started drinking. At first, it was just a little. Stress, he said. Just a way to unwind. But then it got worse. He started losing jobs, coming home late, spending money we didn’t have. And the worst part was…” She swallowed. “He got angry. All the time. At everything.”
Jongho’s jaw tightened, but he still didn’t interrupt.
“He never hit us,” she clarified, her voice quieter now. “But the words… sometimes they cut deeper. The yelling, the accusations, the way he would just explode over the smallest things. My mom tried to handle it, but it wore her down. And me? I—I couldn’t stay. I had to get out. That’s why I left. That’s why I stay in dorms or anywhere but home.”
Jongho exhaled slowly, his expression unreadable. Then, in a voice lower than usual, he finally spoke.
“That’s why you never go back.”
YN blinked, turning to look at him. His face was calm, but there was an edge to his voice. Like he understood more than he let on.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
Silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t awkward. It was heavy, filled with things unsaid.
Then, Jongho shifted, resting his arms on his knees as he stared ahead. “Must’ve been hard.”
YN let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah, well. Life’s not exactly a fairy tale.”
He glanced at her, his gaze softer than usual. “No. It’s not.”
Another silence. This time, it felt… different.
Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he said, “You’re stronger than you think, you know that?”
YN turned to him sharply, caught off guard. “What?”
Jongho shrugged, looking away. “I’m just saying. You left. You got out. You built something for yourself instead of letting it trap you. That takes guts.”
YN didn’t know what to say to that. She wasn’t used to people saying things like this to her—especially not Jongho of all people.
Jongho leaned back in his chair, exhaling sharply. He rubbed his hands together, as if debating whether to speak or not. YN was still staring at him, her eyes searching, waiting.
“I guess… it’s only fair if I tell you something too,” he muttered, his voice quieter than usual.
YN didn’t push. She just nodded, silently telling him to continue.
“My parents,” he started, pausing for a second. “They never really cared about me.”
That caught her off guard. She had always imagined him coming from a well-off family, considering the way he carried himself, the expensive apartment, the confidence.
“They weren’t bad people,” he continued, staring at the floor. “They just… weren’t really parents. Their world was business, money, social status. I was more like a project than a kid. Something to mold into their perfect successor.” He scoffed. “But I wasn’t interested in any of that.”
YN stayed quiet, letting him talk at his own pace.
“I grew up in empty houses. Big, expensive places with no warmth. I had tutors, trainers, all that. But never them.” He clenched his jaw. “They were always too busy. Too far away. And when they were around, it was all about expectations. I had to be the best. Had to be strong. Had to be exactly what they wanted. If I wasn’t, I wasn’t worth their time.”
YN felt a strange tightness in her chest. She had never heard him talk like this before.
“But my friends?” He huffed a small laugh. “They’re my real family. They were the ones who actually cared. Looked out for me. Picked fights for me when I was pissed off. Made sure I ate when I was too stubborn to admit I was hungry. Taught me how to survive outside of what my parents wanted me to be.”
He glanced at her, his expression softer now. “That’s why I’m the way I am. Why I fight, why I stick with them no matter what. They’re all I’ve got.”
Silence settled between them again, heavy but not uncomfortable.
YN finally spoke, her voice gentle. “You’re lucky, you know?”
Jongho raised a brow. “Lucky?”
She nodded. “You found people who care about you. Even if it’s not in the way you expected.”
Jongho stared at her for a long moment, then smirked slightly. “Yeah. I guess I did.”
She didn’t say anything, just gave him a small smile in return. And for the first time since they’d met, they weren’t rivals, weren’t enemies. Just two people, sitting in a hospital lobby, understanding each other in a way no one else ever had.
For a moment, neither of them moved. YN had acted without thinking, driven by the strange warmth in her chest. She had never hugged him before—never even considered it. But right now, it just felt right.
Jongho stiffened, caught off guard. It's not like he was not hugged before, wooyoung and san always hug him, but this was different.
It was YN.
She held onto him tightly, her face buried in his shoulder, gripping his hoodie like she was afraid he’d disappear. She didn’t say anything, didn’t explain. She just stayed there, holding him like she needed him.
And what she didn’t know was that Jongho needed it just as much.
Slowly, his tense shoulders relaxed, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. His arms moved on their own, wrapping around her waist, holding her just as tightly.
They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to.
For once, there was no competition, no rivalry, no mind games. Just them.
Jongho closed his eyes, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head. He didn’t understand his feelings completely, but he knew one thing.
He didn’t want to let go.
Jongho had never felt this out of place before. Hospitals weren’t his thing—too quiet, too sterile, too full of emotions he didn’t know how to deal with. But YN had dragged him inside, refusing to let him just stand outside like some outsider.
“If you’re uncomfortable, you can just stand in the doorway,” she had said.
And that’s exactly what he did. Arms crossed, leaning against the frame, watching silently as YN sat beside her father’s bed, her mother beside her.
Her father was awake now, looking tired but stable. He still had that roughness to him, even as he weakly talked to YN, but it was clear he wasn’t the same man she had once feared.
Jongho didn’t say much, didn’t interfere, but YN’s mother noticed him. She had been watching him carefully, taking in his presence, the way he lingered like a silent guardian.
Then, with a warm but firm voice, she said, “You should come to dinner at our house.”
Jongho’s head snapped up. “Huh?”
“My daughter wouldn’t have made it here without you,” her mother continued. “Let me properly thank you.”
Jongho hesitated. Dinner? With YN’s family? That was… new. He wasn’t used to things like that.
“I don’t—” He started to refuse, but then he saw it.
The way YN was looking at him.
She wasn’t saying anything, but her expression said everything. She wanted him to say yes.
And damn it, if there was one person who could make him agree to things he normally wouldn’t… It was her.
“…Fine,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
YN smiled. And Jongho, despite himself, felt a little warmer inside.
Jongho had never really thought about how YN lived. He knew she stayed in the dorms, but seeing her actual home was… different.
The house wasn’t tiny, but it wasn’t big enough for three people to live comfortably either. There was only one bedroom, and judging by the way her mother moved around the space so naturally, it was clear that privacy wasn’t really a thing here.
As they paced around the room, Jongho’s sharp eyes caught every little detail—the slightly worn-out furniture, the faint scent of home-cooked meals, the single bed pushed against the wall, the small study desk that was clearly YN’s. She didn’t even have her own room.
He didn’t say anything, but YN must have caught the way he was observing everything because she suddenly crossed her arms and looked up at him.
“I know it’s not as big as your fancy apartment,” she said, a teasing edge to her voice, “but you’ll have to adjust.”
Jongho scoffed, shaking his head. “You think I care about that?”
YN blinked. “Don’t you?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who has to live here. I’m just visiting.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying you wouldn’t survive in a smaller home?”
Jongho leaned against the wall, smirking. “I’m saying you clearly think too much about what I think.”
YN opened her mouth, ready to argue, but before she could say anything, her mother called from the kitchen.
“Dinner’s ready!”
The conversation was left hanging, but Jongho didn’t miss the way YN shot him one last glare before turning on her heel and walking towards the dining table.
He shook his head, suppressing a small smile as he followed her.
Dinner was… different. Not in a bad way. Just different.
Jongho had expected it to be awkward. Maybe some polite conversation, a few “thank yous,” and then he’d be on his way. But YN’s mother? She was nothing like he expected.
From the moment they sat down, she treated him like he was one of her own.
“Eat more, Jongho. You need to keep up that strength, right?” she said, piling more food onto his plate before he could even respond.
Jongho blinked. “Uh—yeah, I guess.”
YN stifled a laugh as she watched her mother practically adopt him on the spot.
“You must work out a lot,” her mother continued, eyeing his broad frame. “No wonder you’re so strong! You know, YN never brings home any friends. I was starting to think she didn’t have any.”
“Mom!” YN groaned, her face heating up.
Jongho smirked, looking at YN. “Yeah? I’m the first?”
“She never even talks about anyone,” her mother added. “But I can tell she trusts you.”
YN glared at her mom like she just exposed a national secret, while Jongho simply took a bite of his food, feeling… warm.
The conversation flowed so naturally. Her mother asked him about his studies, his life, if he was eating properly, even scolding him a little when he admitted he mostly ordered takeout. She fussed over him in a way no one ever had before.
It was strange. It was new.
But it felt… nice.
For the first time in a long time, Jongho felt like he had a place at a family dinner. Not just as a guest, but as someone who belonged.
YN noticed. She watched the way Jongho let his guard down, how he actually smiled—a real one, not his usual cocky smirk. It made her feel happy.
He deserved this.
He deserved to feel this warmth.
After dinner, YN grabbed the trash bags and headed outside, leaving Jongho alone with her mother to clean up.
Jongho wasn’t used to doing dishes with anyone—he usually ate alone or with his friends, where everything was chaotic and someone else always handled the cleaning. But standing here, washing dishes beside YN’s mother, it felt… peaceful.
As they worked in comfortable silence, her mother suddenly spoke.
“She didn’t have a great childhood, you know.”
Jongho paused, glancing at her. He had already known that from what YN told him at the hospital, but hearing it from her mother hit differently.
She let out a soft sigh, scrubbing a plate. “I did my best, but… I still feel like I failed her.”
Jongho didn’t know what to say to that. He had never really thought about parents blaming themselves before. His own never did.
“I just want her to be happy,” she continued, her voice quieter now. “She pretends she’s strong, but she’s been through a lot.”
Jongho set down the dish he was holding, wiping his hands on a towel before turning to her.
“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice firm but sincere. “As long as I’m here, she will be happy.”
Her mother looked up at him, studying his expression. Then, she smiled—soft and knowing.
“I believe you.”
It had been a month since that night at YN’s home, and things between her and Jongho had… changed.
They weren’t enemies. They weren’t exactly friends either. But they had fallen into a routine—one that felt strangely domestic.
Jongho would casually grab an extra coffee for her in the mornings, placing it on her desk with a simple, “You looked half-dead, don’t read too much into it.”
YN, in return, would remind him to eat properly, sometimes even handing him snacks with a nonchalant, “I don’t want you fainting in the gym or something. That’d be embarrassing.”
They walked to class together, studied together, and even sat next to each other during lectures. If Jongho wasn’t around, people would ask YN where he was. And if YN was late, Jongho would just roll his eyes but keep the seat next to him open.
They bickered over stupid things.
“Why are you staring at me?” YN asked one day, feeling his eyes on her.
“I wasn’t.”
“You literally were.”
“I was just zoning out,” Jongho huffed, looking away.
Or when YN handed him an umbrella on a rainy day.
“Here,” she said, shoving it into his hands.
Jongho frowned. “I don’t need it.”
“Then get soaked. Not my problem.”
“Then why’d you bring me one?”
“You're too noisy. Shut up and take it.”
They acted like they were just tolerating each other, but everyone else saw the truth.
They were basically a couple.
Just two idiots too stubborn to admit it.
YN felt… different.
It wasn’t something she could explain easily, but it was there—a strange pull toward Jongho. Like a force of nature she had no control over.
And, of course, Hanni wouldn’t shut up about it.
“You’re in love,” Hanni declared one day, arms crossed as if she had just solved the biggest mystery of the century.
YN, horrified, immediately shut her down. “Shut up. No, I’m not.”
“Oh, really?” Hanni smirked. “Then why do you always look out for him?”
“I just—he’s stupid sometimes, I need to make sure he doesn’t die.”
“And why do you get sad when you don’t see him?”
“That’s… that’s normal! I see him all the time, it’s weird when he’s not there.”
“And why do you get weird feelings when you’re together?”
YN froze.
Because that was true.
She did feel weird things when they were together—like her heart deciding to sprint for no reason, or how she found herself staring at him longer than necessary. She noticed the way his jaw clenched when he was focused, how his voice was deeper when he was tired, and how his hands were always warm even when it was freezing outside.
Oh no.
Hanni grinned, seeing the realization dawn on YN’s face. “Yeah. You’re so in love it’s embarrassing.”
YN groaned, covering her face. “This is the worst day of my life.”
Jongho was losing his mind.
It started subtly—little things he noticed during their daily interactions. Like how small her hands were compared to his when she shoved a snack into his palm. Or how short she was, always tilting her head up to glare at him when they bickered.
And then it got worse.
One day, she was rambling about something, waving her hands dramatically, and all he could think about was how badly he wanted to squish her cheeks.
Another time, she got mad at him over something stupid—probably about stealing her drink—and the way her nose scrunched up made his fingers twitch. She looked like an angry little kitten, and he… he was the big bear who wanted to scoop her up and keep her in his arms.
“Are you even listening?” she huffed, crossing her arms.
No. No, he wasn’t.
Because his brain was too busy fighting the cuteness aggression building up inside him.
So instead of answering, he just reached out and flicked her forehead.
“Hey!” she whined, rubbing the spot. “What was that for?”
Jongho smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Dunno. Just felt like it.”
If only she knew it was to stop himself from doing something even worse. Like pinching her cheeks until she smacked him.
He was doomed.
Like when they had gone out for ice cream, and YN, being herself, had managed to make a mess.
She was eating too quickly, and suddenly, a small drop of melted ice cream landed on the tip of her nose.
Jongho stared.
She blinked up at him, confused. “What?”
His grip on his cone tightened.
Was she real? Was this actually happening? Was she actually standing there, looking up at him with big eyes, ice cream on her nose, completely unaware of how devastatingly cute she was?
He exhaled sharply, leaned in, and—
Flick!
She yelped as he wiped the ice cream off with his thumb, scowling at her. “You’re a mess.”
She pouted. “You could’ve just told me.”
Yeah, well, if he had told her, he would’ve also had to admit that he was two seconds away from pinching her cheeks and calling her cute.
So no, thanks.
Or like when YN had forgotten her hair tie, so she dug into her bag and pulled out a tiny, pastel pink hair clip.
Jongho watched as she struggled to keep her hair out of her face with that.
The tiny clip was fighting for its life against her hair, barely holding anything in place. She kept adjusting it, pushing stray strands away with a frustrated huff.
Jongho’s jaw clenched.
It was too much.
The stupid little hair clip, her pouty concentration face, the way she kept huffing when the strands fell back—
Before he could stop himself, he reached out, plucked the clip from her hair, and smoothly tied it up with his own black hair tie which he conveniently had on his wrist.
She blinked at him. “...Oh.”
He crossed his arms. “There. Now you won’t look dumb.”
Her lips parted in offense. “Excuse you! My clip was working just fine—”
Jongho just flicked her forehead again and walked off before she could see the stupid grin threatening to break out on his face.
She was going to kill him one day.
Or worse—he was going to fall harder.
Jongho had always paid attention to the little things. It was something he’d always done, but now it was a bit more… personal.
The way YN would subtly try to avoid the topic of her birthday when it came up, how she’d always change the subject or even just shut it down completely. He never understood it until he saw it written in the corner of her notebook one day, almost as if it was an afterthought—her birthday was coming up.
Something about that made him pause.
He couldn’t help but wonder why she never celebrated it, why she never talked about it. It bothered him more than he realized. No one should feel like that about their birthday. It was supposed to be a day to feel special, to be loved.
But for YN… it didn’t seem that way at all.
YN stepped into Jongho's apartment, not knowing why he suddenly called her, but what she saw made her stop in her tracks. The entire place was decorated—soft, pastel colors, fairy lights hanging delicately from the walls, and small touches of things she liked scattered around the room. It felt like a scene straight out of one of those Pinterest boards she had secretly admired but never thought she'd experience herself.
On the table was a small cake, decorated with cream and flowers—exactly the way she liked it. But what really caught her eye was the little crown placed beside it.
Jongho stood by the door, hands in his pockets, nervously watching her reaction. His heart pounded as he waited for her to say something.
"Jongho..." YN started, her voice barely above a whisper as she took in the effort he’d put into everything. "What is all this?"
He scratched the back of his neck, feeling a little embarrassed now that she was actually here. "Well... I know you don't like big celebrations, but I thought you'd like something a little special, you know? Something just for you."
She blinked, stunned. "But... this is all for me?"
"Yeah, I mean, it's your birthday, right?" Jongho said casually, though there was a small, nervous grin tugging at his lips.
YN couldn't hide the smile that tugged at her own. She looked around, noticing the little details—soft cushions, a few of her favorite books stacked neatly on the shelf, the little crown, and the cake that seemed to have her name written all over it.
"Why the crown?" she asked, half-laughing, half-teary-eyed.
Jongho shrugged, a little embarrassed. "You deserve to feel like a queen today. No one should ever feel like they don't deserve to be celebrated."
That did it. YN's heart swelled, and for a moment, she couldn't speak. The thoughtfulness behind everything hit her hard. Her birthday had always been a quiet, unnoticed day, but here Jongho was, treating her like she was the most important person in the world.
He stepped forward, holding out the little crown. "Here, your majesty."
YN laughed softly, taking it from his hands and placing it on her head, feeling a warmth in her chest she hadn't expected. "This is... this is too much," she whispered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.
"You deserve it," Jongho said, his voice low but warm, his eyes locking with hers in that moment. "Happy Birthday, YN."
Her heart skipped a beat, her emotions rushing to the surface. "Thank you," she whispered back, her voice cracking slightly. She looked at him, her gratitude overflowing. "Thank you for seeing me."
Jongho stepped a little closer, the two of them standing there amidst the cozy decorations, the soft glow of the fairy lights casting a warm hue on their faces.
"You’re welcome," he said simply, then took a step back, a playful grin appearing on his face. "Now, let’s eat this cake before I eat all of it myself."
YN laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time, her heart full of warmth from the little moments that had made this birthday unforgettable. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this special—this loved.
Jongho had done it. He had turned her quiet day into a celebration of everything she had ever wanted.
After cutting the cake and sharing a few playful bites, Jongho leaned back in his chair, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Alright, birthday girl, close your eyes."
YN raised an eyebrow, suspicious but amused. "Why?"
"Just do it," he said, rolling his eyes but still holding that teasing grin.
With a little sigh, she closed her eyes, sitting still as she waited. She could hear him moving around the room, the sound of rustling paper and something being set down on the table in front of her.
"Okay," he finally said, his voice a little softer than before. "You can open them now."
YN opened her eyes—and immediately, her breath hitched.
In front of her was something she never expected but instantly adored—a bouquet of books, beautifully wrapped in soft-colored paper with a ribbon tied neatly around them. Not just any books, but ones she had casually mentioned wanting to read, ones she had stared at in the library but never picked up, ones that he must have noticed her lingering over.
She blinked rapidly, her fingers tracing over the spines as if making sure they were real. "Jongho… you—"
"You like them?" he asked, voice steady but eyes betraying a hint of nervousness.
YN couldn't speak. The warmth in her chest was overwhelming, emotions bubbling up faster than she could control. Instead of answering, she got up from her seat and wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder.
Jongho stiffened for a second, but then, slowly, he relaxed into the hug, his arms coming around her just as tightly.
"You idiot," she mumbled against his hoodie, voice muffled but full of emotion. "This is the best gift ever."
Jongho let out a small chuckle, resting his chin lightly on her head. "Good," he said, a smile forming on his lips. "Because I wasn’t sure if you’d think it was lame."
YN shook her head against him, gripping onto his hoodie tighter. "It's not. It’s perfect."
And for a while, they just stayed like that, wrapped up in warmth and something unspoken between them—something soft, something real. Neither of them said it aloud, but they both knew.
They were falling, and this time, neither of them wanted to stop.
Jongho felt his heart race when he saw the small blush creeping up her cheeks, her eyes glistening with emotion as they met his. Her gaze lingered, vulnerable yet trusting, and something inside him clicked. All the words he'd been holding back, all the feelings he couldn't quite define-they came rushing forward.
Before he could even think, he cupped her face gently with his hands, tilting her chin up just slightly. She didn't pull away, her breath hitching as she stared at him, her lips parted slightly in confusion.
Without a second thought, he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a soft, tentative kiss. His heart pounded in his chest as the moment stretched between them-gentle, slow, and full of everything they had been holding back.
YN's breath caught as she froze for a moment, her mind catching up with what was happening. But then, instinctively, she closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, her hands finding their way to his chest.
The world around them seemed to disappear as everything fell quiet, just the warmth of their bodies and the undeniable pull between them. Jongho's hand slid to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss, and YN's fingers clenched slightly around his hoodie, her heart thumping in her chest.When they finally pulled away, they were both breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. Jongho looked down at her, his thumb brushing her cheek as he caught his breath.
"YN," he whispered, his voice rough, "I... I don't know what this is, but I can't stop thinking about you."
YN's heart fluttered at his words, her cheeks still flushed. She could feel the sincerity in his voice, the way his hands were slightly trembling as they stayed gently on her face.
"I think I feel the same," she whispered back, her voice just above a breathless murmur.
His hands were still cradling her face as if she were something fragile—something precious. His usual sharp gaze was softer now, almost uncertain, but there was something firm in the way he held her.
“I don’t know what love is supposed to feel like,” he admitted, his voice low and honest. “But I know that when you’re not around, I don’t like it. And when you are, I feel… lighter. Like I actually want to be better.”
YN’s heart pounded against her ribs, her breath catching at his words.
“I want to stay with you,” he continued, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. “If this is what love is, then let it be.”
Her eyes widened slightly, emotions swirling inside her. He was never the type to say things without meaning them, never the type to hesitate. And yet, here he was, standing in front of her, vulnerable and real.
She felt warmth bloom in her chest, something overwhelming yet comforting. Her hands slowly reached up, resting over his.
“Then let it be,” she whispered back, her lips curling into the softest of smiles.
Jongho exhaled, like he’d been holding his breath this whole time. He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes for a second, just taking in the moment.
Neither of them needed to say anything more. They had already said everything that mattered.
After his confession, YN quickly realized one thing—Jongho was insanely clingy. Not in the physical sense, no. He wasn’t the type to smother her with hugs in public or demand constant attention. But mentally? Emotionally? He was all over her.
Her phone never knew peace.
Jongho: Where are you?
Jongho: Why aren’t you answering?
Jongho: You’re not dead, right?
Jongho: Hanni said you left the library 15 minutes ago. Where are you now?
And if she didn’t respond fast enough? Oh, he’d find a way. One time, he literally called Hanni when YN ignored his messages during a movie marathon.
“You’re ignoring my texts,” he accused when she finally picked up.
“I was watching a movie,” she sighed.
“Oh,” he paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because… it’s a movie?”
“Tell me next time.”
YN groaned, but deep down, she found it cute—annoying, but cute.
Another time, she was just grabbing a coffee on campus, and before she could even sit down, she received a message:
Jongho: You didn’t tell me you were going to the café.
She blinked. Looked around. And there he was, sitting at a distance, sipping his own drink while watching her like a hawk.
She marched up to him. “Are you spying on me?”
He raised an eyebrow, completely unbothered. “I was here first. You should’ve told me you were coming.”
YN threw her hands up. “I didn’t know I needed permission to get coffee!”
“You don’t,” he said smoothly, “but if you told me, I would’ve gotten your order ready.”
And the worst part? He actually did. Because as she was about to go order, the barista handed her a drink. “Your boyfriend already paid for it.”
Jongho just shrugged at her bewildered expression, sipping his own coffee like nothing happened.
Yeah. He was absolutely clingy. But the way he looked after her, worried for her, cared for her in ways she didn’t even realize she needed?
She wouldn’t change it for the world.
You could never stay mad at him. No matter how much he annoyed you with his endless messages, his possessiveness, or his constant need to know where you were—one look at his big, boba-like eyes, and you were done for.
And he knew it.
That slight smile he had whenever he looked at you? It was because he knew you couldn’t resist him.
Whenever you pouted at him, complaining about how clingy he was, he’d just chuckle, pull you into one of his signature big bear hugs, and squeeze you tight. You always acted like you wanted to escape, but deep down, you never really tried.
And when you were alone? Oh, Jongho had no shame.
He’d squish your cheeks, stretching them like you were some kind of stress toy. “Why are you so cute, huh?” he’d mutter, poking at your puffed-up cheeks.
“Jongho, stop—”
Squish.
“Jongho!”
Squish.
And the moment you’d glare at him, trying to act serious, he’d just lean in and kiss you, completely ignoring your protests.
“Yah—”
Another kiss.
“Stop—”
Another.
And by the time you finally gave up, he’d smirk, pressing one last kiss to your forehead. “You talk too much sometimes.”
But you couldn’t even be mad. Not when he was him. Your annoying, possessive, clingy, yet completely lovable Jongho.
Though you and Jongho never officially announced your relationship at college, he made it clear as day that he was yours—and that you were his.
And he had his ways of making sure everyone knew.
Jongho had always been intimidating, but after you two got together, his death glares became ten times worse. If a guy so much as looked at you for too long, Jongho would lock eyes with them from across the room. No words needed—just a single, cold stare, and the poor guy would scurry away like a frightened puppy.
Hanni once joked, "You don't need a security system, girl. Just let Jongho sit outside your dorm and scare people away."
Jongho wasn’t big on PDA, but when it came to making a statement, he had his own subtle ways. A hand on your lower back when guiding you through a crowd. A strong arm thrown over the back of your chair when another guy was getting too friendly. Holding onto the strap of your bag like it was a leash when you were walking together, just so he could keep you close.
The message was clear: Don’t even think about it.
His friends suffered the most. Jongho was always bringing you up in conversation, even when it wasn’t relevant.
“Jongho, pass me the notes.”
"YN already explained it to me. You should ask her—she’s smarter than all of us.”
"Jongho, do you want to come to the gym later?"
"Nah, I'm meeting YN. She gets grumpy if she doesn’t see me enough."
"Jongho, stop flexing your relationship, man—"
"I’m not flexing. I just have a girlfriend who happens to be better than yours."
“…None of us have girlfriends.”
"Exactly.”
The moment that really sealed it?
One day, some guy—clearly new to the college—had the audacity to flirt with you in the cafeteria. Nothing serious, just casual small talk.
Jongho, who had been sitting a few tables away, calmly stood up, strolled over, and without a word, took the spoon from your hand and ate your food from your spoon and even drank water from your cup.
You nearly choked.
The guy looked confused. Hanni was losing her mind in the background. Jongho? He just stared down at the poor guy, smirking slightly.
"Oh, were you saying something?" sitting down, he asked, his voice low and smooth, his arm resting on the back of your chair.
The guy got the message.
Jongho had never been the type to update his Instagram often. His feed was mostly filled with scenic shots—sunsets, cityscapes, the occasional black-and-white aesthetic post. He rarely posted selfies, let alone anything personal.
But now? Now his Instagram was practically a shrine dedicated to you.
It started subtly. A blurry candid of you sipping coffee at a café, captioned: “Not the coffee, just the person.”
Then came the next one—a picture of you reading in the library, chin resting on your palm, completely unaware of the photo being taken. “Genius girlfriend era.”
And then it became a habit.
— A mirror selfie of him at the gym… with you in the background, struggling with a dumbbell. “She’s trying.”
— A plate of food with your hands reaching for it. “I don’t get to eat in peace anymore.”
— A side-profile shot of you laughing. No caption. Just a red heart emoji.
Jongho wasn’t dumb. He knew there were girls lurking in his DMs, waiting for an opening. So he made sure they saw exactly why they had no chance.
Every post? Tagged @yn2001. Every story? Tagged @yn2001. Even in the comments, when someone asked, “Where’s this?”, he’d reply, “With @yn2001.”
Even his bio, which had previously been empty, now had:
“Taken. @yn2001.”
One day, he posted a picture of your intertwined hands, your fingers laced together on top of his lap. No faces, no explanation—just that.
And the caption?
"Mine.”
The DMs? Silent. The message? Loud and clear.
You were never the type to crave attention. Growing up, you had learned to blend into the background, to be self-sufficient. No one had ever really gone out of their way to make you feel special.
But Jongho? He changed everything.
The way he made it so obvious that you were his. How he walked beside you, making sure you were always safe. How his arm would find its way around your shoulders in crowded hallways. How he’d subtly block anyone who got too close.
The Instagram posts were one thing, but it was the little things that made you feel like a princess.
Like when he casually handed you his hoodie when you complained it was cold—without a word, just draping it over you like it was second nature. Or when he adjusted the straps of your bag because “It’s too loose, you’ll hurt your shoulder.”
Or how he always paid attention. If you so much as mentioned craving something, you’d find it mysteriously appearing in your dorm the next day. Kinder Joy? There. Your favorite drink? Waiting for you in class.
And the way he looked at you.
Like you were the most precious thing in the world.
For the first time in your life, you were someone’s priority. And you loved it.
The winter air was biting as you arrived at Jongho’s apartment for the night. He had asked you so politely—almost shyly—that you couldn’t say no.
After dinner, which you cooked while he hovered behind you like a baby bear, occasionally wrapping his arms around your waist or resting his chin on your shoulder, you both settled in for the night.
Jongho sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone while you went to do your skincare routine in the bathroom. You were halfway through when you felt his presence at the door.
"What are you even doing?" he asked, arms crossed as he watched you pat a serum onto your face.
"Skincare," you replied, giving him a pointed look.
He scoffed. "Looks like sorcery to me."
You rolled your eyes and grabbed an extra headband, walking over to him. "Sit."
He raised an eyebrow. "No way."
"You asked me to stay over. This is part of the deal," you said with a smirk.
With a grumble, he let you pull him onto the bathroom stool. You pushed back his hair with the headband, suppressing a giggle at how unexpectedly adorable he looked with it on.
"Don't laugh," he muttered, glaring.
"I'm not!"
You squeezed some cleanser onto your hands and started rubbing it into his face. He blinked rapidly at the sudden sensation, grabbing your wrist.
"What the hell—"
"Relax, big guy. Just let it happen."
He huffed, but let you continue. His face was surprisingly soft under your fingertips, and for a moment, you were lost in the closeness of it. Jongho, however, was glaring at his reflection.
"Feels weird," he grumbled.
You chuckled. "You’ll thank me later when your skin is glowing."
After washing off the cleanser, you moved on to toner and serum, explaining each step. Jongho just sat there, staring at you with those soft, unreadable eyes.
"What?" you asked.
"Nothing," he mumbled, looking away.
But his ears were red.
By the time you finished with moisturizer, he was pouting. "Feels sticky."
You flicked his forehead. "Beauty is pain."
He rolled his eyes but didn’t stop you when you applied lip balm on him, his lips parting slightly at the contact.
"All done," you declared, stepping back to admire your work.
Jongho looked at himself in the mirror, rubbing his face slightly. "Huh… not bad."
"Told you."
He turned to you, a sly grin forming. "So if I have good skin now, does that mean I get more kisses?"
You gaped at him, heat rushing to your cheeks. "Jongho!"
But he was already pulling you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled into you.
"Thanks, princess," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
And just like that, your heart was gone.
You sighed, sitting on the edge of Jongho’s bed, your fingers idly playing with the hem of your oversized sweatshirt. He had just finished brushing his teeth, stepping into the room with his usual confident ease. His damp hair was slightly tousled, and his sharp eyes softened when they landed on you.
He tilted his head, noticing your hesitation. “What’s wrong?”
You hesitated for a moment before sighing. “I sleep weird.”
Jongho blinked, clearly not expecting that answer. “What do you mean weird?”
“I mean…” You sighed again, fidgeting with your hands. “I move a lot in my sleep. I might—” You glanced at him briefly before looking away. “I might throw my leg over you. Or shove my feet under yours. Or, you know, hug you.” You rubbed the back of your neck. “I don’t want to disturb you.”
For a second, he just stared at you before a small, amused scoff left his lips. “That’s it? I thought you were about to say something serious.”
You frowned. “It is serious.”
He crossed his arms, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. “What, you think I’m gonna throw you off the bed?”
“No, but—”
“You can do whatever you want. It won’t bother me.”
That was a lie. Jongho never liked being hugged in his sleep. He never liked people clinging to him or invading his space while he rested. It had always felt suffocating, and he never hesitated to shove someone off if they got too close.
But you? You were different.
So when you eventually curled up beside him, shifting in your sleep and unconsciously draping your arm over his waist, he didn’t push you away. When your leg tangled with his, searching for warmth, he let it be. And when, in your sleep, you tucked your cold feet under his, he only let out a small huff, shaking his head with a quiet chuckle.
What surprised him the most was the way he naturally responded. Without thinking, his arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer. His hand found the curve of your waist, his thumb absentmindedly stroking small circles into your skin through the fabric of your sweatshirt.
You sighed in content, unconsciously burrowing into his chest. Jongho glanced down at you, his lips twitching at the sight of you so comfortably nestled against him.
If it were anyone else, he would’ve been annoyed, but with you…
With you, he found himself pressing a lazy, almost absentminded kiss to your forehead before resting his chin atop your head.
Yeah. He loved this.
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Divider from @/cafekitsune
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simply-mei · 3 days ago
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timebomb
am i the only one who doesn't like timebomb? i mean theres nothing wrong with liking the ship i obviously wouldn't judge others for having a different opinion than me, but lots of things about the ship just doesn’t sit right with me personally.
like for example ekko was in the au for only two days (he showed up two days before his au self was supposed to show off his project and left the night before which means he was only there for two days) yet in those two days he managed to fall in love with someone who tried to kill him and has killed many of his friends multiple times? i get that he had an obvious cute little crush on her when they were kids (if you pay attention it was pretty obvious and also kinda cute) but that wasn't long lived because she literally switched sides after that and for the next 8 years they weren't in contact (not much contact other than her trying to kill him or/and his friends anyways) like idk about anyone else but i personally wouldn’t fall in love with the person who killed many of my loved ones let alone falling in love with that person within two days that’s just impossible. i understand that he probably still had some lingering feelings for his universe's jinx and that’s why it was so easy for him to fall in love with au powder in just two days but in my opinion it's still too rushed and unrealistic. i couldn’t even begin to imagine myself falling in love with someone who simply talked bad about me behind my back let alone someone who’s killed my loved ones and has tried to kill me too.
i like the IDEA of them like two former childhood friends turned into enemies who are lovers in a different universe and only one of them obtains the knowledge of the fact that they’re lovers in a different life, and so the only one who knows is left yearning for that kind of connection in their current universe as well??? Like that’s such a good trope. normally i’d eat it up, but the way it was portrayed messed it up for me personally, so now i’m left only liking the idea of the ship but not actually fully liking the ship itself, and i don’t think i ever will tbh.
now this is just my personal opinion i didn’t make this post as an opening for people to argue with me or try to change my mind in the comments nor did i make this post to bash anyone who likes the ship since its an overall nice trope and they’re conanly together so i dont see why i’d bash anyone who likes this ship i simply made this post to see if anyone else agrees and to just share my opinion and simply yap on MY blog cause i can do that since its MYYYY blog (say this for the sensitive people who will try to attack me)
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thecaduceusclay · 1 day ago
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Alright, I’ll bite. Devil’s Minion in both the book and the show feels very connected to the AIDS crisis… but I’ve only ever acquired knowledge about that period through osmosis, so I’m curious if you have any thoughts/connections or information. 👀
I put out a call for people to ask me fandom-related queer history questions since I know a lot! I want to remind people this is open and that I welcome any fandom questions about queer history!
Ok this is going to get long because I have a lot of feelings on this topic especially. For those who just want some resources, further reading, and my sources, you can find those at the end. I'll pepper some links in, but I'll try to put the bulk of it there. But Daniel Molloy in the show especially is a man heavily impacted by the history of the AIDS crisis and I have a lot to say about that. I'm also assuming a knowledge of what HIV and AIDS are in the first place. You can do some quick reading here.
First, a note on the books since I mostly want to talk about the show. Queen of the Damned was published in 1988 when the AIDS crisis was in full swing. The peak of deaths was in 1993, but 1988 wasn't exactly early in it. The previous year saw the start of the AIDS memorial quilt, the founding of ACT UP (we'll talk about them later 💜), and Princess Diana publicly shaking the hand of an HIV positive patient. The shadow is cast over the culture, Anne Rice was not immune to the zeitgeist. Hell, she was living in the Castro district at the time and that is a notably queer area. (Her son Christopher talks about that briefly here.) I don't this the parallels are an accident. Armand is a man watching his lover slowly waste away while he can do nothing about it. Sure, it isn't AIDS, it's the alcohol and lack of care to his body. Sure, Armand could turn him. But despite their fun and their arguments being such a focus, that helplessness and fear permeates their relationship in the Devil's Minion chapter. Like so many gay men at the time, Daniel is wasting away. Armand is tormented by this. That is one of the most prominent faces of queer men at this time!
Daniel in the show has more going on in relation to the crisis.
I'll start by saying this in case it needs asserted, Daniel is a leftist journalist. And I don't mean in a casual liberal way. He's clearly passionate and involved and these things matter to him. He makes flippant and offensive comments in the interview sure, but I'm not saying he's perfect. His books give this away. He wrote about environmental issues in Under the Burning Sky, the prison industrial complex in The United States of Prison and Profit, and seemingly the surveillance state in Homelandia and likely in his book on Snowden. I'd also like to gesture to his work with "the barb". The Berkeley Barb was a leftist underground student paper. I'd recommend taking a look at their archives linked here and their website to get a grasp for what he was writing with at the time. (Warning, the archives are often NSFW). But in short the barb's attitude was largely anti-war, sex-positive, fuck the establishment kind of writing. He was already like this when he ran into Louis in '73. This will inform our view of him moving forward and will be our framework for understanding how he interfaced with the AIDS crisis.
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I think it's important to note Daniel's proximity to AIDS too. I mean, subtextually, he had a brush with it when Louis nearly killed him in '73. Louis was a silent killer sweeping through the queer men of San Fran. Gay men were likely seeing lovers and friends disappear after going home with a stranger. Risky sex and drug use leading to a death going unacknowledged, one that's largely impacting gay men? I think the subtext of it is queer-- I mean clear. (Louis is not an all around metaphor for AIDS, but the ties between it and vampirism in the series seem clear, and in this instance the connection is there specifically for Louis, no one come for my ass).
Speaking of, the proximity is there in his behaviors too. He's a drug user who goes home with random men. (Casual sex was a big part of gay culture back then, see the hanky code and cruising for this.) Both of these actions put him at high risk of contracting HIV and put him among populations more likely to contract it. He was using heroin, and needle sharing is a huge risk factor in the spread of bloodborne illnesses, which can lead to the spread of HIV (which is why needle exchanges are so important.)
Finally for incidental proximity early on, Daniel was living in San Francisco. We know he frequented Polynesian Mary's at least, and possibly other gay bars. He also likely lived near or in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood (given his memoir being called Hate and Ashbury). This area is very notably queer, historically. By 1990 HIV was the leading cause of death for young men in San Francisco at 61%. That's frighteningly high, and sure this was much later, but San Francisco was an epicenter.
AIDS was first identified in 1981 as a spread of Karposi Sarcoma and PCP (or "gay pneumonia" colloquially) in gay men in areas like New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. The first KS patient to go public (Bobbi Campbell) was in San Fran. He later wrote the first pamphlet on "safer sex". The first KS clinic was opened here, and later the first dedicated AIDS clinic (which Daniel seems to have written an article about according to his LinkedIn). By 1982 this epidemic was known as GRID, or Gay Related Immuno-Deficiency. (Interesting parallel that s1 notes Daniel as having an auto-immune disease, which Parkinson's is not primarily known as...). Daniel was covering these early years. His book A Shadow on the Skin was about this! It was a collection of articles he wrote on KS in the early years as he documented it becoming the AIDS crisis! He was routinely writing about the early epidemic. (s/o to @cbrownjc for this post where I found the blurb on the back of the book).
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So, while living in San Francisco, this deeply politically involved young man was watching the early crisis unfold. He saw gay men dying slowly. Some gay men at the time described watching the AIDS crisis sweep through as watching their cities become ghost towns. This was something terrifying, something haunting, and something attributed largely to queer men. I mean, it was called GRID until 1982/1983. It wasn't until Ryan White, a 13 year old boy, contracted HIV from a blood transfusion in 1984 that people began seeing it as anything but just a gay disease. Even then, public perception didn't change quickly. It was so heavily associated with gay men, even, that getting national medical authorities to recognize women could contract it and treat it in women was a struggle.
All of this horror was occurring and the government ignored it. When they didn't ignore it? Ronald Reagan, then president, laughed at it. Hospitals were terrified of gay men, some refused to touch or treat AIDS patients. The FDA and CDC were slow to respond and to treat it.
In season one, Daniel is dismissive of his own queerness. He shrugs off his being in gay bars and hooking up with men, acts like it wasn't a big deal and it was just to score. I think this dismissive attitude likely stems from the AIDS crisis, at least in part. Lingering trauma from Louis' attack in '73 may play a role, after all, the body keeps the score. But I don't think we can overlook AIDS as a factor. The writers clearly didn't overlook it in his characterization, as exemplified above. I think they mean for this to impact who he is and how we view him! He watched some of the most terrifying years in recent queer history, of course he would downplay his queerness, of course he would marry two women even if he wasn't happy with them. (Not denying he may be bisexual, but he's certainly closeted.) And in the end, despite distance from his queerness, he still ended up having to waste away slowly from a disease with no cure, just uncomfortable treatments, much like men in the early AIDS crisis. (Early AIDS treatments were all trial based, you were lucky if you got in. You were lucky if you didn't end up in the control group. But the gamble was all you had, and those were the lucky ones. Even then it may not work, it was a trial for a reason. It wasn't until 1987 that AZT was approved to treat AIDS. It wasn't until the mid-90's, years later, that AIDS was considered survivable. I can't help but see his levadopa and how it only slows the inevitable as a parallel to this. A terrible reflection of earlier fears. Parkinson's has no cure. He'll deteriorate until he succumbs, even with medicine. He's lucky if it improves his quality of life, if it doesn't just make him more miserable. He'd be lucky to get a few more years.)
If Devil's Minion happened in the past, Armand watched his lover engage in high risk activities, while clearly aware of the risk given his coverage of AIDS. He watched Daniel writing a book worth of articles on KS and AIDS clinics. He knew how horrifying it was, he knew Daniel knew, and he watched his lover play with fire by using heroin anyway. And in the end? He still watched Daniel deteriorate slowly with medicine that only slowed it more.
If Devil's Minion is only coming and wasn't in the past at all? I think the impact of AIDS mostly falls to Daniel. After being turned he embraces life so fully. Yes, because he was dying before. But his style feels more queer once again. He doesn't have to fear any human diseases! He can fuck men! He can be gay! The shadow that hung over his youthful queer exploration, that interrupted it, is gone for him. And now he doesn't feel it's too late for him, I imagine. I mean, before he didn't have many peers, so many his age died. But now he's a vampire, he's outside of this. He can fuck young men, vampires, whatever. He's now outside of society whether he likes it or not, he's the "other", in for a penny in for a pound, right? And I think that's all going to impact who he is as a character going forward now too.
If there's interest in a Part 2 on the impact of AIDS activism in New York, since Daniel likely saw a lot of it up close, I'll gladly write it. I have opinions and info to share.
For now, stay safe everyone. I love you. And here's some further reading.
~~~~~~~~
A timeline of HIV and AIDS (1981-2024)
Only Your Calamity: The Beginnings of Activism by and for People With AIDS
HIV Infection as Leading Cause of Death Among Young Adults in US Cities and States (1993, about 1990)
On the impacts of the AIDS crisis on gay culture
The Queer significance of San Francisco
1 2 3 4 5 6
AIDS Memorial Quilt
Princess Diana's AIDS Advocacy
About the Berkeley Barb
How Ryan White impacted the view of AIDS
Daniel Molloy's LinkedIn
Practicum Page
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dxfiedfxte · 2 days ago
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Due to his promise to Sonia that he wouldn't tell too many of his friends about their relationship, there was one person Minato had relayed his worries and fears too often, Takashi, only because he and Zero had actually gotten to meet his regal lover in person, which meant they were a small exception in being the only friends of Minato who knew about his secret relationship with the Princess of Novoselic. Thankfully, Takashi is a longtime friend of the blue-scarved paranormal investigator in college, as well as a bit more experienced in his slightly longer life (Since Takashi was now thirty years old) the man was very understanding, taking sympathy on Minato and his stressful situation, he allowed the younger male to spill out those worries, and offer the best advice he could possible give, unfortunately, that was all Takashi could really do besides continuing to be supportive.
Several times, Takashi would see or hear the emotion in him whenever he spoke about it, even through text, Takashi could tell that Minato was in deep emotional agony, it had only gotten worse over time, it bothered him so much, that he had even lost sleep over all of it, and sleep was a crucial thing for a job where he always working the graveyard shift. He worried just how much Minato could take, considering that Takashi knew about his Persona, the older man's main concern, was the constant welling up of emotions -- waves of negativity often lead to Shadows.
From everything Minato had told him, Takashi was expecting some bad turn out, he only hoped he was wrong. Regarding his social media, there were lots of speculations, one particular rumor that seemed to be gaining some traction was this single-minded belief that he was possibly dating a fan or playing the field with multiple women, the unfortunate truth, was that he could say or do nothing but deny it, as much as he wanted to scream out to the world whom he was dating and had been dating for quite some time now---but he couldn't, it killed him inside, but he knew he had to keep his promise, their relationship depended on it.
[{ 🦋 }] - "I kind of figured it was, no ordinary school would be that meticulous with selection besides a private school."
He quickly chimed in, finishing the last of the cake and listening to the rest of her explanation as she went over the selection process of her former school in great detail. The more she said, the more jarring it sounded to have a school be so critically selective, what baffled him was the fact that there were two separate classes, one that made it clear who the most prized students were, while the rest were more or less, lambs to the social slaughter, it almost made it seem like the school was full of jerks, though her friends sounded nice. He didn't like the sound of that school very much, no one should ever be forced to feel inferior -- at least Sonia turned out to be an amazing person.
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[{ 🦋 }] - "Damn, I bet there was animosity. If you ask me, that sounds more like some overly snotty prep school than a private academy, with the promise of a future for specific students only." A short pause.
[{ 🦋 }] - "No offense." He promptly added, not waiting to make it seem like he insulted her class and school friends, which he certainly was not.
Once the pair returned to the subject of Minato's hometown, preferably his old high school and the train ride there. This was an old commute that he remembered clear as day. The Paranormal Investigator had spent not only his teenage years here but his childhood, too. Whenever he thought back to his childhood, the first thing that always flashed into his mind, was the night on the Moonlight Bridge, while he knew the full details of that incident now, he would find that his memory was a little fuzzy when it came to specific parts of that night--perhaps he had blocked most of them out, since it had also been the same night where he had tragically lost his parents, but he opted to cast aside any clinging negative memories, this was a trip to celebrate his former life here and show her how he had grown up, not let his past haunt him.
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[{ 🦋 }] - "Yep! As far as I know, Iwadotai City is the only place in this part of Japan that has a train that goes directly over the water, I'll be sure to point out when to check out the view." He says, glancing up at the clock, the train would be here in seven minutes.
[{ 🦋 }] - "Thanks, babe." He quietly says, in a tone only she could hear.
[{ 🦋 }] - " Wait until you see the rest of this town."
Taking note of the silence and empty station surrounding them, Minato began taking a look around, his grey hues carefully scanning every part of the station, after surveying the area, he was able to confirm that the couple was indeed alone here. He knew the risks, but he just had to hold her, at least for a little, so taking one last glance around, he tentatively reached over to gently tap her shoulder, grey eyes meeting her blue orbs the second she looked up at him in response to his touch.
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[{ 🦋 }] - "Uh... hey. We got seven minutes so... do you maybe wanna... come sit with me? Just for a few?" He softly asks, pointing over at the train station shack with darkened windows, nodding his head in the direction of it to subtly show her where he was talking about so he wouldn't have to outright point.
They were all alone here, a rare moment, they already couldn't hold hands, if he was forced to walk with her like a friend with no hand-holding, that was fine, but he just wanted to feel her against him--even for a couple minutes, he missed that feeling so much. If he could have her lean against him, even for a few seconds, he would take it--take whatever he could get.
At least they were in agreement, no matter how tenuous it was. What he didn't know was how many times Sonia had brought up Minato Arisato visiting Novoselic, to see her, to meet her family, with the stipulation that she'd get him to agree that no filming would occur within Novosonian borders. Paranormal Quest was exactly the sort of wrong fascination and popularity that her family actively worked to avoid: a destination for rich history, and fairytales, and tourism for sure. But a place full of so-called 'spirits' and people who, equipment in tow, steadfastly believed they existed and 'proved' they could communicate with them? No, it would make Novoselic look like a joke: they were a small, but mighty country to begin with, and would face scrutiny in the coming years when Sonia eventually married, had children, and took the throne, preferably in that exact order. She would be the only woman to lead an absolute monarchy, the last thing she needed was a crackpot of a consort who dallied with spirit tracking devices instead of assisting her with royal duties.
Of course she couldn't tell him that. Any of it, without hurting him. There was acceptable eccentricity, making one a delight at every formal meal and social event. And then there was plain lunacy, stuff fit for tabloids and television that served little purpose beyond meaningless entertainment. For the Royal Family and Royal Council alike, Minato and Paranormal Quest fell into the latter category. If he was a reputable journalist or historian, she supposed, he would've been far more palatable to the lot of them. Instead, Sonia found herself living half a life for the past few years, speculated in the press by being linked to a variety of men. But in private, her heart belonged to only one.
"It was a private school indeed," She confirmed for him over the last of the dorayaki. She'd let Minato have most of it: his appetite was far larger than hers, and who knew when they'd stop for lunch that day. "Students in my school, that is the Main Course, were selected by scouts who have their choices approved by a board of Governors. Everyone had a singular talent they were working to develop as a career, so the school only wished to admit those who were the best in each one. There were some students though whose families paid exorbitant fees for a diploma from Hope's Peak: they were seen as the Reserve Course and only given a compulsory high school education with no career guarantees. There was a bit of animosity, between the Reserves and the Main Course students, and the administration did nothing to stop it. It was unfortunate."
Right down to the color-coded uniforms: the brown sets were a privilege, one the Reserve Course, in their black uniforms and equally dour expressions, could only dream of.
But they were there to visit Minato's school, his hometown, his life. Not hers, and Sonia realized she'd do well to stop talking about a life before him, one that he had little in the way of relating to. From everything he'd told her so far, his school seemed to be as normal as they came: she'd thought the same about Hope's Peak, at least until she finally arrived and saw just how unique it was.
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"A train that goes over the ocean? That sounds wonderful!" She exclaimed, tying the belt of her trench coat as he too donned his outerwear. The overcast weather that day had forecasted rain, and she didn't want wet clothes and a chill to ruin the trip. "I am used to trains that go through tunnels, and there is one that goes under the English Channel too, though I have not been permitted to ride that one. A safety hazard, should it malfunction." That, and it was far more efficient to simply fly over the Channel to the United Kingdom if needed. Unlike many, many people, she had her own plane.
They exited the ryokan, and stepping out onto the sidewalk with Minato was enough to make Sonia smile. Of course, part of it was the lack of constant security and hired vehicles to shuffle her about anywhere she needed or wished to go. A walk to the train station was refreshing and inconspicuous, two things she enjoyed on a break from royal duties. But as she looked around at various couples, from high school students to elderly grandparents, holding hands, she found it impossible not to notice her own were empty. He never took her hand in public, it was a risk to do so. But even walking beside them had them, as necessitated by her family, looking more like friends than something more. Sonia sighed into her cashmere scarf: she needed to refocus on the good. She had to.
"Your hometown is charming, Minato-kun," She spoke up as they approached the station. At least she could use his first name and an affectionate honorific. A verbal intimacy, if not physical. "From what I have seen so far at least. I hope to see much of it during our time here, from where you attended school to where you engaged in hobbies and recreational activities."
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chevs-and-spiders · 2 months ago
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girls when they fight to protect their princess's honor 🎀
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trappedinafantasy37 · 2 months ago
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POV: Evil murder kitten tries to evil murder you in your sleep. She's desperate for a reason not to evil murder you because she does not want to.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#i know i've posted this one before#but i just can't get over how cute and adorable she is right here - she really looks like a startled cat#regardless of whether you sleep with her or not#the prism still temporarily broke her connection to the absolute and then returned it to her right when she was about to kill you#and it sparked an immediate crisis of faith because everything about that night is all wrong - except for you#you having no connection to the absolute causes her to doubt the extent of the absolute's control#but she also begins to question the absolute as she found peace in the silence - peace in the absolute *not* controlling her for once#even with the absolute having returned to her - she still wants a reason *not* to kill you#in that moment she clocked you as a potential enemy of the absolute and by her oath - she would be obligated to kill you#which is why the only reason you can get her to stand down is by proving to her that you are not an enemy#and it is pretty easy to convince her that you're not an enemy because she is that desperate for any excuse from you#minthara is not the kind of person who would back off and run from a fight - and is definitely not spooked about assassinations#and she most certainly has stabbed someone in their sleep before and has killed a lover#but she does not like to engage in fights that she does not think are necessary nor to kill those she does not have a reason to kill#the fact that she pulled away when you caught her and she didn't immediately escalate the conflict into a full fight#is a pretty big indication that she has some pretty extreme doubts about the absolute - and *she* does not see you as an enemy
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lovesickeros · 8 months ago
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popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.
specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.
which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.
and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.
basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.
g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind
just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#i could also talk sbt furi here and how similar they r + how writing one of them influences my writing of the other#but anyway#ive been busy moving i havent had time to write unfortunately#but i do have time for tsaritsa! and furi. mwah#i just think its funny imagining tsaritsa trying to be polite snd cordial but ohh shes SEETHING. she hates you. she loves you.#she wants to kiss you snd kill you and devour you. a horrible mess of a woman who closed herself off snd suddenly she feels exposed#she hates it. wants to hate you but oh g-d you make her soft in the worst of ways. she'd destroy teyvat itself if you asked her to#shes like a cat you gotta work to earn her trust but oh lord when you do. velcroed to your side#she will say she despises you before kissing you so tenderly it makes you dizzy. between vitriol she brushes her knuckles against your cheek#longing and yearning so violently you will tear each other apart just to be closer.#is there anything so undoing as loving another so wholly it consumes you?#she swears she's indifferent but she pampers you and sends you extravagant gifts with no name attached yet it smells like her. you know.#oh to be in a horribly complicated relationship thats almost one sided enemies to lovers w the tsaritsa that consumes you both#like two stars wanting to be closer and yet..in doing so you undo each other when you inevitably collide. caught in an orbit that dooms both#this has been ur monthly tsaritsa ranting ur welcome and goodnight 🫡#when i say im crazy sbt the tsaritsa i am so serious. i AM her number 1 fan source me
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zenkor123 · 2 days ago
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I wonder if I can get away with Katniss revealing what he told her about not being a peice in their games. One can say "Your the writter you can do what you want" but I want Katniss to be completely herself and not force them together so I have to balance
1. Katniss might fear opening herself up to Peeta she does not like opening herself up in general might have doubts if Peeta is himself the conversation with Peeta will be painful. She must be aware that Peeta is an emotional weapon of Coin a morphling addict who is muttified by his perception of being a mutt.
With
2. She might have hope and see signs that her boy with the bread is in there and might care enough about what he thought, the cats already out of the hat and there's little she can do to put it back, Gale exposed her, Finnick is always there for Annie, she may feel partially responsible for Peeta’s muttification for what she said to Coin, maybe overheard an argument between Finnick and Annie where Annie begins thinking she's a mutt. She also fears what Peeta will do if she shuts him out since his delusions are dangerous to her. With Peeta saying that she's just like her mom she's exposed even more where's she going to hide now? and what If Peeta says this in public as an off hand comment? Peeta probably can see right through any deception she tries becuase his mind Is very sharp to such things. Maybe she's determined to prove Peeta wrong that if she was hijacked he would behave just like her. Maybe she Is encouraged by Peeta no longer thinking he's a rapist and that she wants to kill him so Is less atrisd of coin
Ok I thought for a lot of compelling reasons for 2
She specifically
Shows less vulnerability by express her sub conscious anger at Peeta for abandoning her.
Peeta asks "so what did you like so much about me I mean him"
Bringing up the rooftop scene would answer Peeta's question and be evasive enough to hide vulnerability.(wouldn't guilt Peeta as Peeta would say "well look how it ended up for him how ironic" )
Here's the scenario of what would happen if Katniss tried to shut him out.
"I don't need your pity Peeta"
"You can't go to the capitol Katniss I'm not letting you die becuase of us, the cats out of the bag you can't run from this forever Katniss, everyone knows your little secret now its over. Your killing yourself in my name as if I don't exist over a boy who was a lie"
"Stop your not him your a capitol mutt I don't need your permission"
"It seems like I was totally unneeded hell your doing my job for me. I will have more blood on my hands. Yeah no fucking way, even if you run now this won't be over, If your chased off my guard you will be institutionalized and prevented from going. I'm don't enjoy being an emotional torture weapon and if you being on my rotation makes me into that then the only place your safe is in the hospital wing"
"Who are you to call me crazy, you out of all people"
"It takes one to know one"
(This is what would happen if Katniss lashed out at him) by making it about Peeta Katniss avoids this scenario from happening. Katniss may be able to deduce that Peeta thinks her plan to kill Snow is insane.
(That might sound creepy for Peeta to do but he knows or thinks she wants the guard to avoid going to the mental institution and wants to avoid going to the hospital wing so she can kill Snow, so he just needs to have Katniss declared insane and she is in the hospital wing and unable to kill snow, with Katniss’s secret exposed she could resign as the Mockingjay due to mental illness as far as Coin’s concerned) . If coins goal is to discredit Katniss ad a mentally ill broken girl then all Peeta would need to do is ask Coin to assign her to the hospital wing and then she would have won. It would have added more ammo to the attack on Katniss's moral character if she wanted to kill Snow in the name of her lost lover even if said lover was not ok with it so it wasn't in the name of Peeta then Coin would argue but a general psychosis. (That's how Coin would frame it)
In the evening of the 4th of October
Peeta had more to say to Katniss information that would help her get over him. He found her in her laundry pipe, and confronts her.
1. Peeta resisted the small doses the huge jacker venom doses, and retained the will to live becuase of her and the prospect that D13 might rescue them and rather then push Annie into a quadron of acid (that was actually orange juice but he didn't know it) upon taking the mind breaking pill he shouted her name as his mind ripped apart. Hence she should live while the late Peeta didn't.
This fails to convince her and Katniss tells him to leave, Peeta is about to leave and remarks bitterly that he is hurting her just like the runt hurt mrs mellark he really is no different in that regard, except his old self now lives on as an emotional parasite rather then a financial one.
2. The runt is hurting her just as he hurt Mrs Mellark who had unsafe sex with Mr Mellark to prevent Mr mellark from leaving her after he caught her having an affair with Delly’s father. She couldn't get birth control due to capitol restrictions and tried to get rid of Peeta multiple times. The family couldn't afford a 3rd child and Peeta lists that if he hadn't been born the Mellark's would've had more money and been able to eat fresh bread. That after Delly called him a mutt he questioned if his old self was really worth it and all the memories with fear came back without the physical effort needed to fight through headaches like for other memories. These memories revealed who his old self really was stupid and insignificant and like his old self he is hurting her he's no different then the runt. She should listen to his mom.
Katniss began telling him it was bullshit and gets into heated argument with him which leads to the whole story getting leaked.
At the end of the argument peeta mentioned that Delly told him that the cray babies in the community home survived the destruction of 12, snarkily saying that there was justice for bastards in the end as they survived and make up a larger group of the d12 survivors while many wanted 12 citizens perished, in the end those that survived were disproportionally the unwanted. (particularly among merchants)
3. That if Mrs Everdeen survived the death of Mr Everdeen and now works in the hospital, so she will be able to get over his old self
(I legit don't know how Katniss would respond to this how would she justify her lack of will to live?
Katniss, tells Peeta to leave her alone and that she's not like her mother glaring at him.
Peeta offers Katniss some non Morphling Cheesebuns he made and eats some Morphling buns (the ones he made for himself during his break not the ones hes selling). Katniss says no.
On his way out he says "I don't know my favorite color, maybe it was purple? Well its not important, anyway, but I think I know yours, isn't it green?"
Katniss says that its orange and windows open, sugar in tea ect
Then he leaves, overcome with emotion, there are 7 morphling buns and 7 non morphling buns he's selling people. Peeta leaves behind the non-morphling buns since no one is buying them thats why he made fewer regular cheese buns. He also knows she liked them, and gives them to her as a peace offering for free.
Katniss leaves the laundry pipe before she did something stupid like cry.
On his way out he tears out his symbolic grave and throws it in the trash bin (as it's been proven false, his favorite color is orange, he never redacted Katniss, he isn't a runt, ect) he also notices one of the envelopes are loose when one of the images falls on the floor (in prior timeline he never noticed it, as he didn't put the book at the specific angle, and it was next to 10 other envelops that cushioned the Capitol Funtime envelope until Peeta began frantically running holding the book with one hand to the bathroom only focused on getting rid of that smell with the symbolic grave thrown out and the fun envelope fixed this is butterflied out of existence. Peeta still gets bitten by Thiacetone mutts runs to the bathroom, drops his journal and Katniss still sees his back).
In the 4th the night, Katniss has trouble sleeping and sees the symbolic grave with every falsehood that Peeta believed up to that day on it in the trash in the hallway.
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snazzi-strawberri-artz · 5 months ago
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AUGHH CLASS ASSIGNMENT YIPPEEE!!! Had to make cut out silhouette designs for 3 of our characters!!!
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ash-and-starlight · 1 year ago
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Hello Ash.
I just finished She Who Became the Sun and I’m crying. Dying. Dead. Deceased. Thank you for jumpstarting the ripping out, stepping on, roasting, and eating of my heart that has just transpired.
Aside from the obvious Zhu and Ouyang, what’s your favorite character parallel in the first book?
HIII thank you THANK YOU im so happy the propaganda got you too <33 and HMM much to think about!! I will say that it's been a couple of years (I think?) since I read swbts so the details are fuzzy but one of my fave parallels are between Ouyang and Baoxiang, especially for how strong they become in hwdtw too. They are both seen as lesser and not conforming to the "male" mongol ideal, ouyang because he's a eunuch, wbx because he's not a warrior. They both go against their roles in a very explicit and performative way: ouyang by becoming a war machine and truly embodying the masculinity of a mongol warrior despite his inability to truly ever being considered one bc of his mutilation, wbx by refusing to become a warrior and acting super feminine (genuinely don't remember how much of it is genuine and how much is out of sheer spite but id say at some point the lines got blurred for him too. the guy has Problems.) Something something "femininity" being forced on someone vs being choosen and its Consequences. They hate each other. they're scheming together. they're scheming against each other. they loved Esen. they had to kill him. being gay is a curse. being gay is a game and i am winning. they fucked each other in a parallel reality. and most importantly they're twinks. this does not even begin to cover how insane their dynamic truly is.
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tenwhiteandalusians · 6 months ago
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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roughentumble · 4 months ago
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@hale-of-stiles-heart musing to myself what wouldve made x-men origins wolverine better, and obviously the answer is "scrap it entirely and write the movie over again" but like. would kayla have been a more interesting character if she were genuinely aligned with the villains? if she'd genuinely been using her powers to influence logan's opinions and feelings? i feel like that would just make her more one-dimensional and people would get mad at the femme fatale type character, but sometimes a one-note villain is more fun than a one-note love interest..... idk.
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rbbess110 · 7 months ago
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guys do you remember any ideas from when you were a kid/were only beginning the writer journey that would be technically considered "cringe" or "stupid" but brings a smile to your face still?? like damn it does not make sense now but i had so much fun with it. be it an oc, world you've created, plot idea you loved. tell me about it
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aspiringhorrorauthor · 8 months ago
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Who are the ultimate ‘gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss’ power triad in media and why is it the Tribunal from Morrowind?
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starry-eyer · 9 months ago
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god tywin lannister deserved worse
just remembering elias death and i wanna puke and the way tywin talks about elia and what happened is so damn gross
but rip tommen and myrcella we all know what’s about to happen in the next book :/
the cycle of violence just keeps spinning and damn you tywin for beginning it
(i got a bit crazy in the tags 💀)
#rest in peace elia and rhaenys#i’m one of those crazy ppl who thinks jaqen h’ghar is aegon 💀#literally lost the teeny tiny amount of credibility i had#anyways i think doran’s in on it and i think rhaegar switched out asharas child for aegon paralleling the baby swap jon does#the pact made in braavos about viserys and dany marriages is a half truth half lie#and arianne being sent to faegon is simply doran testing his heir. if she messes up then whoever’s spying for doran will correct her#gerold dayne knows too much that’s why doran thinks he’s too dangerous#but this would make the dornish plot sooooo much more interesting and would show that no doran hasn’t been doing nothing#it would also automatically make the daynes more important#jaqen (aegon) was in kings landing to kill robert but got caught by varys. syrio was sent to find him. ned cleared out the black cells tho#saving aegon in the process. fun how we’re actually introduced to this character through lyanna starks mini me arya#aegon was able to kill robert with a boar tho so mission accomplished.#now he’s in old town trying to hatch his dragon egg. the stone beast taking flight in danys vision is aegon being symbolically depicted…#..as a spinx#i’m crazy delusional. but ppl who think faegon is actually aegon are even more delusional than me#plus the real aegon being alive fulfills the suns son part of quaithes warnings#i like this theory bc it makes the dorne plot more interesting and it explains whatever is going on with jaqen h’ghar cause he is sus#yes yes i know i’m delusional 💀 i just think it’d be a very interesting twist#kinda hoping no one sees this post at this point bc i know no one will take this theory well lol#i do think this theory can be supported by the text tho#and cerseis throw away line about ned stealing asharas baby would suddenly become peak foreshadowing#barristan comparign dany to ashara would also be peak foreshadowing bc ashara would take the place of gilly in this parallel and she was dis#dishonored by someone at harrenhall. likely aerys and then she turned to a stark probably brandon for comfort#tbh i think it was ashara who lied to brandon about what happened to lyanna. perhaps she was trying to mess with brandon’s wedding and#was trying to get back at rhaegar for humiliating elia at the tourney. i highly doubt it was baelish who lied to brandon cause brandon#has little reason to believe him and no reason to trust him. ashara tho? arthur daynes sister and elias lady in waiting? also his lover?#anyways varys the spider potentially stealing aegon away (if he did take a child it was the false aegon) is there to parallel the others#who ride ice spiders taking crasters sons. tbh i think it was aegon who decided he wanted to train as a faceless man so he could get revenge#on his own terms. and the sea lord of braavos at the time was in on it and helped aegon with his plans#the unveiling coming up is going to be a lot more important than arya just reclaiming her identity. yes im delusional lmao. rant over
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vv-ispy · 5 months ago
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on one hand I totally understand tropes are popular but on the other hand I think Amos is a lot more compelling as a middle aged woman trying to figure out her life after a loveless relationship than a mother figure ya know
#it's like. oh has anyone read price of salt? It's like carol. she's in a mess trying to figure things out#and dragging anyone close to her into that mess#bc she spent so long in an environment where she is both not getting enough attention from one who she wants#and getting attention from others who are 'below' her. not that she conciously sees people as below her but i think society#would tell Amos that she has a higher role on the hierarchy as Deca's lover than anyone else in mondstadt#...now i'm imagining an old mond rebellion where the original goal was something like 'tear down the walls reform deca' and then Amos joine#went 'no I'm gonna kill him' and the rebellion went '....okay that doesn't sound like a terrible idea he IS the one keeping the walls up'#nb's goal after all was to break down the walls and see the sky right not explicitly to kill a god#.......puts this idea in my pocket to maybe play with#saying that my initial idea of her was also viss er one / eva anim orphs based but sim idea. middle aged woman#upper class middle aged divorced woman amos who has her hands full dealing with the fallout of her own life and making it everyone's proble#i just really like Problematic Woman#saying that carol did kinda really mother therese but also their relationship was uhhhh unequal. Just a Bit#also viss e r one and eva are also both defined by motherhood in a way#except eva is 'long left the role behind bc the world thinks she's dead and her body isn't even hers anymore'#and vis ser one is 'she should NOT be a mother she is a whole empire's tactician for a reason'#anyway don't mind me waking up and starts rambling about Opinions bc my dream supplied me Stress of Snakes#<- thinks snakes are cool but has a healthy respect of them irl idk Where that dream came from#genshin talk
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