#also gotta emphatically say that i Do Not Mean their characters understand each other better than others or completely

[shorthaltsjester]

taliesin and laura remain truly so fantastic at making characters who… don’t necessarily have something extremely and inherently in common but do have experiences that were caused by similar sources and that lead them to have quite different opinions/ideas about things but in ways that are typically very reconcilable? which is a lot of qualifiers but it’s a through line of vex/percy with nobility, jester & cad with loneliness (and also god stuff but in a different post maybe someday i’ll talk about how actually their god stuff is intensely related to their different experiences of loneliness), and now imogen & ashton with being left behind.

like vex was this character who technically had a claim to nobility due to her blood but at the same time was burdened because of that same claim. and percy who was born into and raised by nobility but that nobility ended up making his family the targets of a massacre. and then vex who lets down her walls and Do I Look Like I Come From Money? and percy giving her the title grand mistress of the grey hunt because it has nothing to do with blood, or his love for her, or anything aside from the fact that it’s something she can prove herself worthy of simply by virtue of who she Is, not who someone makes her. and percy and vex’s conversation about forgiveness and it’s necessity for growth as probably two of the characters most inclined to hold grudges.

and caduceus clay who gets left behind with nothing but his Belief while his family goes off into the world. and jester lavorre who gets shut inside with no company except her Belief as her mother protects her from the world. and they both get the burden of loneliness and the understanding of love’s nonmalicious imperfection. and caduceus having a panic attack on a ship and jester telling him that the world is a lot bigger than his cemetery and that means he has to break out of his comfort zone to find his path. and caduceus telling jester that he doesn’t think she gets as much credit as she ought to and she deserves more pastries. and jester thanking caduceus for showing her how cool it is to actually heal people and caduceus asking if she wants to use his shield while he doesn’t need it.

and ashton who was left broken and dying on the ground and was given inescapable pain as their means of survival. and imogen who was left behind by the only person who could provide true understanding of the pain she’d one day come to feel. and ashton who’s a barbarian, who wields their rage casually and unapologetically and who sees the Shittiness of the world but is unrelenting in his version of optimism. and imogen who is weighed down by pessimism she doesn’t Want to have but hasn’t cracked how to undo and who doesn’t admit her anger until it comes up again and again and again and carries it like a burden or like guilt, who we only see really Grasp and feel Confidence about her anger being something good in front of others when she has those conversations with ashton. and like. ashton who looks at imogen and sees a superhero. imogen venturing through ashton’s mind and holding his bleeding and exhausted head and saying i’m sorry. i’m sorry. and imogen who looks at ashton and sees someone special. and fucking “we got him killed.” and “no, we didn’t. don’t you dare. […] we are not what fucking killed that man. […] we are his eventual victory. we are his fucking revenge.” and “i’ll be his revenge.” and “i have no fucking doubt.”

and in general rp wise they both tend to make some of my favourite characters (also typically the ones i find most frustrating) because they both tend to make flaws that are easy to hate and they make those flaws very central to their characters but i think that’s also what makes their character interactions so deeply compelling because so frequently it’s like. yes yes these two characters have like. a helix of things they have in common but also things they deeply disagree on but they’re going to spider-man point at the things that are the same and they’re going to honour their differences while doing so. and it’s just. i always enjoy it so much and i was psyched when i heard about an imogen and ashton side pit stop in last nights episode and i was not let down when i watched the episode today.

[vivalavi-daa]

Fav 2019 K-Dramas

2019 blessed us with many intriguing kdramas with unique stories, don’t you think? I’m bored during quarantine and decided to post this. Anyways, here are my favs:

1. Vagabond

There, this picture says it all: this drama is fast paced, SO intense, and on fire. I love every minute of it! Vagabond is different than another k-dramas. I’m not lying when I say this drama literally makes me cry and scream. Sometimes I even had to pause in the middle of episode just to catch my breath lol. The plot is so well written and full of unpredictable storylines (which is what I love the most about Vagabond–that every episode always has a way to surprises me). Although, many viewers disappointed with how they ended Vagabond with a cliffhanger. I, too, really hope they consider making the second season to satisfy our curiosities. But either way, I don’t regret watching this drama. Not at all. Because this drama is too amazing

2. When the Camellia Blooms

Unlike majority of romance k-dramas, this drama’s love story is centered around a young woman who raises her child on her own. I gotta say, this is one high quality k-drama. I could even judge it from its lovely opening video. Every episode always has meaningful messages behind it. The storylines are rich and presented in such a way that makes viewers immersed in the stories and emphatize with the characters. First, they make us understand Dongbaek’s dark past and her struggle as a single parent, then they make us emphatize with Dongbaek’s son who grow up without a dad figure. We also get to see the perspectives of her mom & Yong Sik (the lead guy)’s mom as mothers,  the issues faced by side characters, and conflicts that arise from triangle love story. In addition, they also involved mistery of murderer in the stories! Can you believe how many of these can we swallow in one drama? One time this drama is heartbreaking, then it’s heartwarming, another time it gets super dark. 

Also, what I find many viewers love from this drama is how Yong Sik cherishes Dongbaek and love her for what she is, which is why I concluded this drama is perfect for woman who feels insecure. Why? Because with the way Yong Sik endlessly convinces Dongbaek, he reminds us that every woman is good enough, deserves to feel loved and receive happiness. And I love him for that.

3. Her Private Life

There is a reason why people said this is the perfect kdrama for fangirl, since the story is told from the perspective of a die hard fan (Sung Deok Mi). Those who have experienced being fangirls know how well this drama represent fangirls’ life: what fangirls do, and how fangirling affects our lives. It’s all displayed in such fun atmosphere that it’d give you good feelings while watching it. Personally, I am attracted to its opening video. It’s really catchy and reflect the fun vibes of Her Private Life. I really recommend this drama if you want to lift your mood.

But on top of that, Sung Deok Mi’s relationship with Ryan Gold is the major part of why I highly appreciate this drama!! Their relationship is unlike any relationship I’ve ever seen before. They’re very mature, respect each others’ dreams and what each other loves, always resolve conflicts through discussion. They portray the definition of a healthy relationship and I really admire that.

4.  Extraordinary You

The word extraordinary isn’t used in the title for no reasons. The storylines are, indeed, extraordinary. It is a mix of comedy, high school romance, star crossed soulmates, fantasy, mistery, comedy and a glimpse of stories in historical settings at the same time. Thus, it’s not exaggerating when fans said “you don’t have to look for specific dramas, you can get it all here”.

The actors & actresses’ acting skills are superb and we can find so many funny & relatable lines here. But one of the best things about Extraordinary You is they place the second leads in the center of spotlight! Finally nice second leads get the justice they deserve. They portrayed how lead guy who’s rude and feels entitled to have his crush doesn’t have the slightest chance of capturing the woman’s heart. Instead, the nice second leads who show respects and always put the woman’s desire before his own are what woman find attractive. I highly praise this drama for that.

5. Crash Landing on You

In 2019, we encounter many dramas with unique synopsis, including this one: a relationship between a North guy and a South woman. I have no doubt in Son Ye Jin and Hyun Bin’s chemistry since the beginning. Their incredible chemisty makes every romance scenes look even more sweet and pure and sometimes cute. Although I wasn’t really engaged with the first two episodes, the next episodes gets more appealing and satisfying. It’s nice to see the progress of both lead characters’ development and how they help each other overcome their issues. Aside from Se Ri (Son Ye Jin)’s relationship with Jeong Hyeok (Hyun Bin), her relationship with the North soldiers and neighboors at millitary village are pretty adorable. Their interaction always give me warm fuzzy feelings and they’re what I miss the most from this drama honestly.

6. One Spring Night

If you love Something in the Rain, I’m sure you’ll love this one too since both are the works from the same director. It has similiar atmospheres and similiar soundtracks vibes (both have really beautiful soundtracks by the way). Like Dongbaek from When the Camellia Blooms, the lead guy in this drama (Yoo Ji Ho) is also a single parent. I agree with fans saying this isn’t the kind of drama for everyone. This is more like slice of life and they aren’t in a rush to throw in conflicts as well as its resolution and I love it that way. Through this, they made it possible for us to process our emotions while the conflicts are presented.

The stories are also realistic: the issue experienced by the lead guy as a single parent, issue that’s arised from triangle love story, how pride and status mean for men, also a glimpse of abusive relationship, and the heartwarming sisterhood. And if we look closely, we could see how they tried to portray the influence of culture in the family and in the way they resolve a conflict. 

7. Catch the Ghost

I thought the ghost from the title refers to an actual ghost but thank god it’s not. Here, ghost is a nickname for a criminal–the villain of the drama. Even when the story centered around the same villain from the firat until the last eps, but I wasn’t bored at all watching this. In fact, it is what made me engage with the stories and made me continue watching the next eps although I had assignments to do 😅. It’s just so, so exciting to watch. The stories are dark, sad, but funny at times. However, some viewers (including me) found the lead woman (Yoo Reung) annoying at first because of her selfishness. But I promise it’s still worth to watch because in the later eps, you’ll understand why she is the way she is which makes it easier to tolerate and even emphatize with her. She’s actually lovable, and her relationship with the lead guy (Ko Ji Seok) is really cute! In fact, Ko Ji Seok is one of my fav characters in kdrama land!

8. Class of Lies

You know, I always love kdramas with unpredictable storylines. Just like what this drama has. I know the settings are set in high school but it is waaay too dark for a high school story. You can even see it from the picture that it has gloomy vibes. I thought it’s the typical high school kdrama about bullies or corruption but it’s truly exceeds my expectation. From the first episode, I already saw the potential of this drama and already hooked with the misteries. I felt so tense throughout watching the entire drama. I kept clicking the next eps to find out if things are getting better and if there is any clue to the misteries here. But I swear everytime I thought I figure something out, this drama always has surprises to give. So brilliant. I stan.

9. At Eighteen

We could tell from the title that this drama must be related to the dynamic life of 18 years old teenagers. Considering this is the age where we explore ourselves, this drama portrayed how different teens could have different issues to face: trying to fit in at school, stand up against bullies, trying to be in top tier at school, trying to get good grades whether it’s to get into reputable colleges or to meet parents’ high expectation, trying to experience romance, AND exploring sexual orientation (actually this is the first kdrama i’ve watched that portrayed gay issues so I was like wow??). So, the stories aren’t only focused on the main characters, but the side characters too. Though I really adore the main guy in this drama: Choi Jun Woo. I even made an essay about why I think he’s an ideal guy lol. If you’re interested, here you go

Not only does this drama describe the issues faced by 18 yo students, but also the struggles faced by the teacher. It shows us how teachers can feel nervous too whenever he’s about to teach or deal with the students, how certain teachers care about the wellbeings of their students, not just care about their grades. I appreciate that from the drama, really, I do. This drama is calm, heartwarming, and meaningful.

10.  Love Alarm

Tried to watch it because of Kim So Hyun, and I quickly got invested in the stories. I like the futuristic theme in this drama. The idea of a Love Alarm app itself is already interesting. Moreover, So Hyun has good chemistry with both guys. Though I don’t find both lead and second lead guys as my best type of guys, but I couldn’t stop watching it and I don’t regret watching it. Their lovestories are bittersweet which kept me looking forward for more. The last episode ended in cliffhanger though, typical Netflix series. If you don’t like uncertainty and want to watch this drama, I suggest you to wait until season 2 is released (yes, they announced there will be a season 2).

k-drama recommendation: 2/?

[allyvampirelass29]

Goodnight, Chris McQueen

A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

I love you, Brat I hope you know that....... My biggest fear was becoming my old man Drinkin', philanderin', livin' for nothin' I wanted so much more for my little girl But Babe, I'm just like him A haunted soldier That never came back from the war I tried so hard to make you laugh Just so you didn't see me cryin' Funny names, and stupid jokes I guess, don't band-aid the holes Punched through the walls and in Your mother's heart Jesus, maybe this dad thing Was a cosmic hoax right from the start I love you like a big dog I'd die twice just to give you a hug Before I go, I want you to know I'm proud of my kid I could never do what you did It's like you told your ma You're made of steel, Vic You threw the bottle away You sure as hell didn't need me But you let your broken down dad save the day I ain't half the hero to you though As you are to Wayne Give 'em HELL, Babe Fight the good fight Don't cry over me I won't die as I lived A good for nothin' It's gonna mean somethin' I gotta believe Don't stay here, Brat, trapped in my death scene Remember the good stuff, when they say "Goodnight, Chris McQueen."

In the words of the illustrious Linda McQueen........ "Holy HELL." It's been days, and I've been in a morose fog, only just now emerging, shaking and fighting the tears, even as I write this, half numb, and half agony. I'm shocked, dismayed, and altogether fragile. The second I saw that this episode was going to be called, "Chris McQueen," I couldn't have been more thrilled, and my heart soared, excited! Chris McQueen has SHINED this season, our own resident white knight, slaying Vic's demons, both of the vice, and supernatural variety. It was no mistake, or random shuffle of fate, that her magic bridge led her back to her dad. He's been a gun-wielding, bomb-making, godsend!!! He helped her quit drinking, heartbroken that his little girl had inherited his disastrous coping mechanisms, refusing to let it drown her the way it did him. He's fought at her side, let her lean on him, he's become her safe place. He's given her the best advice about fighting for Lou, choosing her family, and oh yeah, he SINGLEHANDEDLY took on Bing Partridge, not just once, but TWICE!!!

If NOS4A2 has a CHAMPION, a dark horse in the game, it's hands down Chris McQueen. If anyone is deserving of their own personal, entitled episode, it's the vindicated father who did the work, fought like HELL for his redemption, made himself a better person for his daughter. That rush of flooding joy, cooled to wary concern, and hesitant dread, however, when I realized....... This honour could be his final tribute.......

Don't kill Chris McQueen........ I pleaded over and over in my mind, the frantic cry, resounding, even as I pressed play. I hadn't been able to shake that sinister, creeping feeling all day, and when we opened onto Chris at a funeral, my relief flooded in, graciously thankful to see him alive!!! Wait, he looked younger, like WAY younger, even younger than the first season, and oh my god, hold on, whose funeral is this!? Someone died........ my stomach knotting again, trying to figure out who, and we realize that this is Chris, decades ago, speaking at his Dad's funeral.

I loved, and I mean LOVED this opener. It's just so beautifully real, and one hundred percent Chris McQueen, as he muses about his father's life, and his own, and how the two came to mirror each other. He's funny, irreverent, vulnerable, and by the end, absolutely heartbreaking. It's a searing portrait of a broken man, and everything that caused his life to fracture, every death, that made him wish he was never born.

"When I came back from the gulf, I finally understood why he was pissed off all the time, because he knew there was no reason for him to born, and that nobody was going to give a shit when he died."

Chris' voice cracks, and my eyes sting, because I feel it, his greatest fear, and I know he's not just talking about his father, he's talking about himself, effectually delivering his own eulogy, and again I implored the fates...... Don't kill Chris McQueen.

Aaaaaaaaah, and HELLO Baby Vic!!! Oh my gosh, she's so precious, about eight years old, frowning as her father speaks, huddled close to her mother, and then when Chris becomes too overwhelmed with his anger and emotions to go on, tearing out of the church, she frantically chases after him, calling for him!!! Even then, she was her daddy's girl!!! Once again, I must COMMEND NOS4A2 for choosing the perfect miniature of our badass leading lady, because this girl is the very IMAGE of Ashleigh, and it was such a joy to see her fierce features, and resolve, in a dear little face!!! More Baby Vic, PLEASE!!!

Flashforward to the present day, and Team McQueen is ready and raring to hit the road. I loved this entire scene. The love between her and Lou as she tells him goodbye, and says, "I'm going to go get our boy." An achingly beautiful moment, these two give me life, and have become my FAVOURITE couple on the show!!! I may have been purely Team Drew Butler, Season One, but now I can't imagine our beautiful badass without her Teddy Bear Man, and I ship McCarmody so freaking hard!!! Vic revs the Triumph's engine, testing it, gearing up with her Dad, and it hits me....... She doesn't have to hide it, sneak away to go do her Creative Hero thing, he accepts her for exactly who she is, believes in her gift enough to go with her. For the first time..... Vic McQueen isn't riding alone........

Linda is an absolute rollicking delight, emphatic in her protest, and I have just come to LOVE her so much!!! "I don't know about this Vicki, taking explosives across a magical bridge IN THE RAIN!!!!" God BLESS this woman, she's so maternal here, and I love it, I see how much she's changed, becoming this mother and ex wife even, that isn't afraid to express her feelings and doubts, no longer shackled by the fear that she's destined to be alone.

"You're my only kid, Vicki, My Baby."

"You know me, Ma, made of steel, remember?"

Awwwwww oh my gosh, so freaking CUTE, and for the first time, they feel like a real family, The McQueen Clan on a Mission, slaying psychotic kidnappers, and rescuing lost children, becoming the family business. Linda's still unsure, hurrying after Chris and Vic, still thinking they're both CRAZY, when she sees it for the first time....... Her eyes widen impossibly, as a rickety, wooden, covered bridge, appears on the street in front of them, and her reaction is EVERYTHING we've been waiting for, I found myself, leaping off the couch, cheering as she says it. "Holy HELL!!!"

Chris' childlike wonder, as he looks up into the dark eves, and watches the bats flutter, the Triumph roaring through the beams of breaking light, weaving in and out of shadow, is such a joy to behold. He believed in it, believed in her, even without seeing, and it means that much more to Vic, you can tell. It's also symbolic, Vic sharing her world with her father, bringing him into her inscape, fighting the good fight TOGETHER, both soldiers. I loved it, every second.

Surprise, surprise, when they roll up to the junkyard, Bing Partridge isn't dead, because some cockroaches just won't DIE!!!! Like an AVENGING ANGEL, Chris McQueen is all of us, flying off that bike, and assailing Bing with murderous fury, backhanding his stupid face with the gun, over and over, impaling him deeper with the protruding rod, and I swear, I wanted to run to him, and HUG him so tightly, so freaking PROUD!!!! THANK YOU, CHRIS MCQUEEN!!!

"Where is he, you SICK, Son of a BITCH!?!?"

"HE CAN'T HELP US IF HE'S DEAD!!!!!"

Vic screams at her father, angrily chastising this good and proper beating that has been a LONG time coming!!!! I'm sorry, isn't that how ANY sane person would react to a sadistic, murdering, rapist whose made their life a LIVING HELL!? What gives, Victoria!? Chris falls back, as confused as I was, and then shakes his head, as he apologizes vehemently, which Vic is having none of. She's AWFUL to her father from this moment forward, rude and spiteful, blaming him for everything, and as much as I love the girl, in this unjust punishment, she REALLY lives up to her nickname, Brat.

This Kids Glove approach to Bing Partridge is MADDENING enough to make me PSYCHOTIC!!! BING. IS. EVIL. Say it with me, NOS4A2!!!! It's like they are hellbent on redeeming the ONE character that is beyond saving, a man that even God, himself, would look at reviled, and say, "Get thee behind me, SATAN!!!" Last week they failed, first through the deus ex machina epiphany, and then through the attempted murder/suicide, so they tried even harder, using a meeker approach, making him say manipulative propaganda like, "I wish I'd never met Mr. Manx, because then Vic McQueen would still be my friend." and "I'm all alone in here, and it's really scary." Ughhhh somebody, anybody, put us out of our misery, and put one right between his beady little rat bastard eyes.

I almost understand Tabitha's need to keep things professional, and speak to Bing, in a reassuring way that reaches his simple, monosyllabic mind. I get that beating the living hell out of him like he so obviously deserves isn't an option for her, but this man is a HEINOUS criminal, who's kidnapped kids, drugged and raped their mothers, KILLED both of his parents, not to mention TORTURED Charlie within an inch of his life, only just last week!!!! But by ALL MEANS, Vic, go HOLD HANDS WITH HIM, and see if that will help get your son back!!!! Cringe.

I HATED this, so, so, SO much!!! Bing was her friend, he betrayed her, violated the trust between them, became her worst nightmare, shot at her, traumatized her, duct-taping her to a chair, she should HATE him, despise the sight of him far more than Charlie Manx!!! I CRAVED a reckoning, even if it was just a verbal assault. But no, instead, Vic decides to play nice, and I get that most of it was an act to convince him to help her get her son back, but I could also feel NOS4A2's misguided hand in her actions. Look, see, even Vic can find the good in Bing!!!! Sigh. Not gonna lie, I was going to scream bloody murder if she said she forgives him!!!

Good Cop pays off, however, and Bing, desperate for Vic's forgiveness, reveals there is one more stop before Christmasland, one last chance to grab Wayne, when he gets out of the Wraith at Sleigh House to hang his ornament. It's a dawning revelation, intel quintessential to their success, and for once they know where Charlie is going to be, before he gets there, and can lay a trap for him and his indestructible car. I hate the way they arrived at the information though, I'd have much preferred to see Bing suffer for his sins, and the whole interaction is just so laughably implausible. I will say this however, there was a rather BEAUTIFUL line in this scene that Bing couldn't begin to deserve, but I LOVED it all the same. "I miss the person I thought you were." My god, that's powerful.

"Chris McQueen," is a STELLAR episode, full of beautiful lines like this, including my FAVOURITE thing that Maggie has EVER said to Vic, which perfectly exemplifies their eccentric friendship!!! "I'd shank a thousand assholes for your mopey ass!!!" YES!!! I LOVE THAT SO MUCH!!! I will say though, that I was SHOCKED at how cool Vic was with Maggie's scary new trick of hurting herself to use her powers, sans seizures. I thought she was going to kick her butt for that!!! I'm really worried, Guys, this is a dangerous addiction, that's going to be the hardest one yet for Mags to quit!!! The break-up with Tabitha was bittersweet, but it did not come as a shock to me. They'd been drifting apart for awhile now, and I feel like Maggie was so scared of losing her, that she was afraid to be herself. "I want to live in the real world all the time." For me, that was the nail in the coffin, having only heard it about a thousand times myself. Maggie will always be living in two worlds, and whoever she's with MUST accept that. They love each other, yes, but they just want different things. I do respect Tabitha so much for not demanding that Maggie give up her tiles, threatening to leave her if she didn't. She'd rather let Maggie go be herself, be happy, than try to stifle her, shove her into that hateful, constricting little box called normal.

Vic continues to be petty, and spiteful towards her father, treating him WAY too harshly, punishing him, when he's done nothing but fight for her, a literal action HERO, avenging Wayne, and kicking ASS!!! It hurt my soul, and I could see the pain in his eyes, thinking he'd failed her, apologizing again, just wanting her forgiveness. The second scene at the McQueen house is a far less fuzzy one, as she forbids her father to come with her, placing all the blame of every bad thing that's happened thus far on his shoulders, and she cuts him with razor edged words, saying the worst thing that she could have possibly said in that moment, something truly unforgivable, that I already know she will spend the rest of her life, regretting.

"I lived eight years of my life without you, Dad, and I can just as easily do it again." She sneers, and even Linda stares, aghast. "Vicki, no, you don't mean that!!!"

I felt the pangs in my heart, stunned that she could be that vicious to her own father, after all he's done for her, getting sober, changing his whole life, hell, getting HER sober!!! Linda is again so adorable, insisting she take Chris with her, like "Vicki let your father play on your magical bridge, if he wants!!!" not wanting him to feel left out, and while I want more father/daughter explosive awesomeness, I'm conflicted whether or not he should go. If he stays here...... he's safe. Eventually Linda's persuasion wins out. "Don't let your anger towards your father, keep you from getting back Wayne." With a frustrated sigh, Vic shoves a black helmet in Chris' hands, and we're off to the races again. "Bring them home," Linda whispers sweetly, embracing him tight, and as they hug, I get the most sinking feeling that it's for the last time. Dont...... Don't kill, Chris Mcqueen.

Vic and Chris work in silence, once they get to the charred foundation of Sleigh House in Colorado, burying the handmade bombs, and finally Chris can't take it anymore. "Is this how you want it, Brat?" He asks her, heartbroken, and Ashleigh's acting is PHENOMENAL, as she breaks down and reveals the truth behind her unprovoked animosity.

"It's easier to be mad at you, than to blame myself."

"None of this is your fault. Charlie Manx is not your fault."

"I want to forgive you, because if I don't, how can Wayne ever forgive me. But I can't just let myself off the hook!!!"

It's not entirely a make-up, but it's an important conversation, something she's been wrestling with for a long time. Chris is again AMAZING, consoling her, easing her guilt, even while she's the one that's been impossible. Again Vic, I love you, but your father did the absolute RIGHT thing, and he's the only one that did right by Bing, as far as I'm concerned.

Maggie and Lou join the dynamite father/daughter duo in Colorado, and I LOVED all of their scenes together, the two people in this world that Vic McQueen loves most, and there's something magical about it, something iconic, seeing all three of them together, the Creative Dream Team, united in their crusade against Charlie Manx.

"Every one of these ornaments represents a kid in Christmasland, lost forever. Do you think there's a way to get them back? The other kids?"

WHEN SOULS FALL.

Maggie stares down, perplexed at the tiles, as she arranges them, revealing to the oracle this cryptic, mysticism, and I myself, could NOT breathe. Holy SMASH. Ever since the end of, "Gunbarrel," where Vic wanders through the trees outside Sleigh House, frowning at them, the hundreds of glittering ornaments, swaying in the wind, glowing as she drew near, I just knew...... I KNEW the souls of the Lost Children, were trapped inside each and every one of them, and this suspicion was ever further confirmed, when she found Bradley's canoe ornament, broken open on the ground, after he burnt up in the Wraith. My prediction? To turn the kids back, they have to smash every single one of these ornaments, and only then can the escaped souls return to their vampire shells, and make them human again. The minute a child hangs an ornament, the transformation is complete.

I also LOVED the transcendent scene between Vic and Millie, a scared little girl, in over her head, calling, pleading through the static, and I couldn't help but MARVEL at how much has changed between them. Last Season Millie Manx was very much her father's daughter, cruelly taunting Vic, on her father's behalf, even appearing to her while she was awake, stabbing her with an invisible sword. Now, she calls out to her to be her saviour, her father's greatest enemy, the iron wrought armour of her inherited hatred falling away, and Vic sees her as she always was, not a hollowed out demon spawn, but just a frightened little girl that needs to be set free. I was also THRILLED that dear little Millie imparted the knowledge that Charlie CANNOT die, else all the children, including his daughter, will die with him. Vic abhors Charlie with a screaming vengeance, but now that she knows his death comes at the cost of every child he's ever taken, she won't kill him, she CAN'T kill him, because then all of this, everything she's fought so hard for, bled for, would be for nothing.

The final act is both the thrilling BEST and the incoherent WORST of the episode, as the chaotic music ominously heralds our man's arrival. Charlie Manx, cutting a dashing, imposing silhouette, dark against the hazy dusk, exits the Wraith, turning every which way, striking in profile, floating smoothly across the front of the car, to let Wayne out. I loved this aesthetic, Charlie moving swiftly through the mist and dying light, rising as the threatened dark, enclosing. It's beautiful, and serves two clever purposes. One, to shroud our debonair dark menace in all the more intrigue and mystery, and the other, to conceal just how bad Wayne's gotten. Charlie clasps his hands around Wayne's shoulders lovingly, the picture of paternal pride, and my heart caught, seeing Wayne in the cast light, his boyish curls, frayed and almost white, his skin covered in white blue veins, every one of his teeth, coming to a sharp point.

"Go on, My Boy, it's time to hang your ornament," Charlie chortles handing Wayne the CUTEST little gray, baby bat ornament, I have ever seen, urging him forward. "Choose any branch you like, just make sure it's a SPECIAL branch," Charlie crows, and my heart melts, so in love with both of them, and the way Charlie dotes on him, knowing that while this began as a revenge plot, Charlie has come to love and favour Wayne, like the son he never had. "Don't dilly dally," He warns adorably, with an eyebrow raise, and even this mild scold is too precious for words.

Charlie waits by the Wraith, already nervous, as little Wayne disappears into the grove of trees. I LOVED the Wraith's ADORABLE warning system, as it flashes danger, the car horn honking, and even more I loved Charlie's distressed reaction to it, hurrying over, brow knit, like a father racing to tend to and protect his frightened child. Can I just have this impossibly PERFECT man, that darling little curly-haired boy, and this pretty, shiny car, PLEASE!?!?

"Smart Car," I whisper to myself, as the Wraith senses Vic's presence, and the waiting bombs beneath the ground. Charlie, alarmed, jumps back into his car, to seek out what's got the Wraith in such a tizzy, racing away, and leaving young Wayne behind. If there was ever a time, to save Wayne, it is NOW!!! NOW, Maggie, grab him NOW!!!! Here's where things start to unravel for me as far as character motivation and realistic ability is concerned. Yes, I get that Wayne's appearance is terrifying for her, that she doesn't know what she's walking into as she approaches him, but there is NO WAY Margaret Leigh, Oracle Extraordinaire, Hourglass SLAYER, would just cower, and watch as Wayne hangs his ornament. Nope, sorry. Wayne isn't even all the way a vampire yet, he's in transition, and the FEARLESS girl that I know and love, would have grabbed him, reassured him, while she wrested the ornament from his hands, and SMASHED it!!! Wayne's soul flies back into his body, crying as he clings to his Aunt Mags, Charlie is thwarted, and everybody lives happily ever after. End Scene.

But no, Maggie, in an uncharacteristic move, waits until Wayne has ALREADY hung his ornament, and then approaches him fearfully. I will admit I was a little nervous too..... Wayne, Darling, NO BITING Aunt Maggie!!! Wayne bares his vampire teeth, and raises his vampire claws in an adorable scare, with the cutest little growl ever, laughing cheerfully as he chases Maggie through the trees, clearly thinking it's a game.

Meanwhile, Charlie bristles as he sees the glowing headlights of Vic's motorcycle up ahead, piercing through the descended dark. His annoyance is obvious, but you can almost sense his secret excitement, at having one last chance to kill her.

"Gunning for Mother of the Year?" Charlie scoffs, amused, looking hot as hell behind the Wraith, clenching the steering wheel, his head down, eyes narrowed and full of smouldering, black intent. It's a FANTASTIC face-off, as the Wraith screams down into the open field, Chris pressing HARD on the detonator, and the first bomb goes off in a spray of dirt and billowing smoke. Again here's where I found myself more than a little bit incredulous, wondering WHAT THE HELL IS THE WRAITH MADE OF!?!? I even giggled to myself, remembering what Chris had said. "I don't care if he's in a GOD DAMNED tank!!!" The Wraith remains unscathed, the gleaming black paint, not so much as scratched, as a second bomb, and then a third go off beneath it, to no detriment. Really!? The Wraith is NOT a tank, it's not even armoured, and while yes, it's a supernatural entity, it CANNOT DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!!! Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so don't want to see you harmed, but you put a blast beneath that undercarriage, it is going to send that car FLYING, flipping it over at the very least!!!

Back in the grove of trees, Wayne, still chasing Maggie, stops cold when Lou calls out to him.

"Dad..... is that you?" THANK GOD, I cry out tearfully, as Wayne recognizes him, and in a very human moment, runs and hugs his father so tight, snuggling his little head to his shoulder, Lou sighing relieved, as he holds his son at last. Happy tears become angry ones, however, and at first I was LIVID with Wayne, horrified as he sinks his tiny little fangs into Lou's shoulder, biting him hard. DON'T BITE YOUR FATHER!!!!! Why, Wayne, WHY!? But the second time I watched this episode, I noticed something soooo very important. Wayne doesn't show any signs of hostility, poses NO threat, UNTIL the first bomb goes off. This is NO coincidence. Charlie, you're too clever for your own good!!! I suspect, that once the transformation is complete, and the kids are connected to Father Christmas, they can sense when he's in danger, and their innate attack instinct takes over!!! Freaking brilliant, and yet also terrifying!!!

Vic curses under her breath, her foot slamming on the gas, helplessly, as the Triumph won't start, her knife failing her, as the Wraith, screams at her like a shot bullet, promising vengeance, and Charlie smirks, sadistic, knowing he's about to end this....... "Say Goodnight, Vic McQueen."

My heart clenches in my chest, barely breathing, the tears flooding my vision, watching through blurry eyes, knowing what he's going to do, before he even does it. Chris McQueen hurtles himself in front of Vic, selflessly sacrificing his life for hers, and the Wraith runs him over, crushing the back of his legs. as he collides with it. I screamed, I sobbed, and shook violently, stunned because my prayers had been answered....... Chris McQueen, has miraculously SURVIVED. He's alive...... he's alive...... I whisper, reassuring myself. While he's far from okay, surely suffering two crushed legs, unable to move, I'm just so happy to see him still breathing, still fighting.

"Perfect timing, Wayne," Charlie snickers, Vic screaming, "NO!" as Wayne hops back into the car. This is it, this is the moment, where it all goes so wrong. Charlie's holding all the cards, he's got Wayne in the car, he's subdued Vic and her father, neither of them can so much as move, and he listens, drinking in their anguished cries. All he had to do was drive away....... It was over. It was SUPPOSED to be over.

"Chris McQueen, a disappointment of a man, just like your father," Charles snarls, and I AM BEGGING him to stop, bawling, pleading frantic, my terrified voice shrill. "BABY NO!!!! BABY STOP!!! DON'T KILL CHRIS, PLEASE GOD, CHARLIE!!!!!" Tapping into a darkness, donning a heartlessness, unbecoming of our gentleman villain, Charlie looks Vic in the eye, as he does it, snapping Chris' neck with lethal force, killing him purely out of spite. The episode ends with her broken, mournful sob, and Chris' slain gaze, his eyes still full of tears, staring blankly at the camera.

My pain is deafening, my sorrow beyond all hope of any coherent expression as NOS4A2 suffers its greatest loss to date. It's an empty gesture, a callous act, uncharacteristic of the man that I love with all my heart, but who has hurt me something profound with this senseless murder. In what kind of CRUEL world, does an innocent man, who sacrifices himself for his daughter, who fought for eight years to be the kind of father she deserved, have to die, while an indecent evil like Bing Partridge gets to live!? Charlie, HOW could you!? This...... There's no honour in this. Charlie kills only as a last resort, and only in defense, he has a strict moral code, and is vehemently against violence without cause. This was unfeeling, unnecessary, and soulless. Yes, he knew Chris was a bad father from before, but surely in witnessing the valiant manner in which he'd flung himself in front of the car, with no thought for his own life, Charlie would have found him redeemed, he would have seen a father who'd do anything to protect his daughter, not so different from himself, and he would have felt SOMETHING!!!

Goodnight, Chris McQueen. You fought the good fight, you changed and made things right, and now at last you can find peace....... My heart is so heavy, I can't hold it, and crying here, I want him to know how wrong he was, thinking nobody would mourn him when he died. A thousand cry out, stricken with grief. Husband, Father, White Knight Redeemed, here lies Chris McQueen, a HERO who didn't die for nothing.........

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[missjanjie]

Must be the Summer Heat (That Gives Her That Glow) | Branjie

Summary: This is a continuation of this drabble that ended up being a oneshot. There were six individual requests for a follow up and also a recent prompt for Nina playing Vanjie in snatch game. Enjoy!

-

The All Stars Six cast had entered the workroom for the first day of the third episode. Everyone was in good spirits, relieved to have survived the first two eliminations.

Brooke Lynn and Vanessa, specifically, were happy to have narrowly avoided outing their relationship. It would have been embarrassing to have blown their cover in week one, especially since their official reconciliation was – as Vanessa had put it the first time around – fresh out the womb. In fact, they had only concretely confirmed their status to each other a week before arriving on set.

Maybe they would have better luck convincing literally anyone that they were ‘just friends’ if they had time to work out a story beforehand – they were as bad at improv as they were at any other type of acting. Winging it, they supposed, was all they could do.

This week’s challenge was the Snatch Game – something everyone saw as either a chance at further success or, for people like Brooke Lynn and Vanessa – a chance at redemption. It didn’t take long after the announcement for everyone to rush to their stations and get right into preparations.

“Who are you gonna do, Nina?” Brooke Lynn asked as he brushed out the wig that he was planning on wearing.

“Well, I’ll tell you who I’m gonna do…” Nina spoke in her ‘Vanjie’ impression, immediately making everyone laugh, “You know, hopefully it’ll go over better than Roxxxy’s Alaska impersonation, but I think my Vanjie-isms are on point,” he explained in his normal voice.

Vanessa arched his brow and laughed. “Ima be watching you, bitch. Tread lightly,” he warned, scribbling potential jokes and one-liners for his own character, shifting nervously as he tried to prepare. Clearly his stress was starting to show as he realized Brooke had made his way to his table with a concerned expression.

Brooke Lynn put his hand on Vanessa’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. “How’re you holding up, Vanj?” he asked gently, sitting beside him. “You feeling more confident this time around?” he asked, despite knowing the answer.

“Not as much as I should be,” Vanessa confessed quietly, resting his head on Brooke’s shoulder. “This is the shit I still struggle with, you know? I know Ru and everyone else are gonna be looking at me to see how I do. Guess I’m preaching to the choir, but you got some redemption already,” he mused.

He wasn’t wrong, Brooke Lynn knew that as much as Vanessa did. “I know, believe me, I get it. Last time was rough for both of us. But you’ve grown so much, and everyone’s rooting for you no matter what,” he told him. “Besides, you’re too much of a fan favorite to go home this early,” he teased.

Vanessa laughed, sniffling a little. “Thanks, Brooke. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he hugged him before Brooke Lynn returned to his station. He could do this, he thought. He just needed to get out of his head.

When it came time to play the game itself, everyone’s nerves appeared to have subsided for the time being – the most important thing was making RuPaul laugh however they could get him to.

One act that stood out, unsurprisingly, was Nina, who was able to mimic Vanessa’s mannerisms and vocal inflictions almost to a T. It was almost enough to make Vanessa break character at a few different points.

At one point in the game, RuPaul asked Nina in character if he had been staying in touch with the other season eleven queens, to which he answered, “Yeah, you know, I still got my Dream Girls. And between you and me mama, I ain’t been kicking Brooke Lynn out of bed either.”

Ru and the two contestants laughed heartily at that. “Oh really?” he egged him to go on – this was almost as good as getting a confession from Vanessa himself.

“Listen, what happens on tour stays in the hotel rooms. And the dressing rooms. And sometimes the bus when we thought everyone was asleep,” Nina continued, having all but forgotten that Vanessa and Brooke Lynn were both on the same panel, staring at him incredulously. ----------

“Hey Nina,” Asia called out to him while they were getting ready for the runway. “If you get into the top two and win the lipsync, are you gonna split that ten grand with Vanjie? You’re profiting off of her likeness,” he asked with a light laugh.

Vanessa bristled at the question even without being directly addressed. “It’s the least she could do after blowing up my spot like that. She knew she didn’t need to go for that low blow,” he chimed in as he did his makeup.

“Nina, girl, you know I love you, but it would’ve been just as easy to do a funny Vanjie impression without having to drag our personal lives into it like that,” Brooke added in a much more calm and gentle tone.

Asia looked between the three of them oddly. “Wait, so she was telling the truth? I mean, I had my suspicions, but…” his voice trailed off as he gestured vaguely, “I just figured y’all discussed what was gonna go down beforehand,” he shrugged.

Nina looked taken aback, but it was clear he did feel guilty. “Vanjie, I had no idea it would be a sensitive subject for you. We’ve all been joking about it, so I thought it would be fair game. But Asia’s right, I should have asked you for confirmation regardless, and I’m so sorry,” he apologized emphatically.

“I forgive you,” Vanessa replied curtly. He knew Nina’s apology was sincere, and he did accept it, but he did still feel tense and uncomfortable in a way that only time could heal.

“Are you alright, Brooke?” Nina asked with a hint of awkwardness in his tone, knowing that Vanessa was still upset.

Brooke nodded, doing his best to seem poised and unphased. “I’m not mad, I understand that you got carried away,” he replied even though, in reality, he was just doing his best to stay strong so neither Nina nor Vanessa felt any worse.

That had been the end of their storyline for that episode. All of them survived to the next week, and the pressure was building even more. They were all starting to feel the heat. Perhaps that was why after they got to a challenge that they were both safe in, Brooke Lynn and Vanessa managed to sneak away while the focus stayed on the winners and losers.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa confessed. “It was one thing to compete when everyone knew we had our thing going on, it’s different when we’re trying to hide it. It’s just another fucking thing we gotta worry about, like we don’t fucking have enough to deal with,” he vented.

Brooke frowned sympathetically and wrapped an arm around him. “Baby, I get it. It’s hard for me too. I’d much rather be able to hug and kiss you whenever I want. But this is what we agreed to do if we didn’t want to have that narrative again. Then when all is said and done, we can pick up where we left off and love each other on our own terms.”

Vanessa sighed and curled up against Brooke Lynn. “You say shit that’s smart and makes sense, and I want it to change how I feel, but I just…” in an impulsive act, he suddenly sat up and kissed him deeply, cupping his face with both hands and pouring out every single feeling of longing and need over the past few weeks into that one kiss.

And Brooke couldn’t have fought his feelings if he tried. His arms wrapped around Vanessa’s waist and pulled him close. He had missed this – missed him – more than he realized. He wouldn’t go so far as to say love was more important than winning, but he’d be damned if he couldn’t ignore Vanessa’s feelings, let alone his own. If he was going to give in to their desires, he was glad they could do it alone, sequestered from their friends and the harsh eye of the camera.

“Anyone see where Brooke Lynn and Vanjie went?” Asia asked offhandedly, looking around without realizing he was in earshot of the couple.

As nonchalantly as possible, Vanessa and Brooke returned from their impromptu reconciliation-slash-makeout session and joined the group. “What happened?” Brooke asked as casually as he could. All he received in response, however, was a bunch of confused stares. “Is there something on my face?”

“Other than most of Vanjie’s lipstick?”

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 1.5

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, as we finished up chapter 1’s Daily Life and shifted into Deadly Life, plotting a murder was not relaxing, Shuichi had issues and he and Kaede were FRIENDS, Kaito finally made a legitimate but basically inconsequential attempt to do something about the situation, and Rantaro fell right into Kaede’s (but really the mastermind’s) trap. We also got through most of the pre-investigation discussion, including nobody taking the First Blood Perk, so we’re about to jump in here as everyone takes a look at the Monokuma File.

The photo of Rantaro’s body in the Monokuma File doesn’t show the blood on the back of his hand that was holding the Monopad. The body discovery cutscene included that correctly, but it seems someone forgot to draw it here.

Both the file and the cutscene don’t show the trail of blood from the shot put ball that implies it rolled away rather than being placed on the ground by someone, which was something that made me assume right from the beginning that the murderer wasn’t in the room when he died. (I thought it was Shuichi who set a trap, though.)

(And, since the real murderer actually was in the room after all, I guess that means she probably threw it at him from a distance away? That would also prevent her getting any blood on her clothes. Assuming the trail of blood seen in the investigation but not in the cutscene/file is in fact canon.)

Kokichi:  “And try to take this seriously, okay? Our lives are on the line.”

Excuse me, you have no right to tell other people to take things seriously when lives are at stake.

Everyone’s agreement to investigate with at least one other person makes a lot of sense. In the previous games it was always just “have two people guard the body”, but crucial evidence that the culprit might try and destroy could be anywhere. This is a much better way of trying to prevent that.

Kaito:  “It’s not something you should be proud to say… but I guess we don’t have a choice.”

Hah, look at Kaito not liking to admit that they have to suspect each other enough to do something like investigate in pairs just in case.

Kaede:  (Once we expose the mastermind, we’ll be able to escape…)

Yeah, that’s right, expose the mastermind. That’s totally what this trial’s for, right? Not catching the blackened or anything.

Kaede:  “Anyway… we have to stop the mastermind so this is the last murder that ever happens here! We just have to.”

Shuichi:  “…”

…Has Shuichi already realised the implications of the fact that Kaede keeps talking about catching the mastermind and not the blackened? Oh no.

Ryoma happens to join in a conversation about the sensor and the receiver, in which Shuichi mentions he can turn the receiver off. Ryoma then goes on to be the person in the trial who argues that Shuichi could have faked his alibi by turning off the receiver. It’s nice that the writers actually keep track of who knows what piece of information when most characters are only involved in a small part of the investigation.

Kaede:  “Well, I still think the mastermind is the culprit.”

Guh. The mastermind is the culprit, but Kaede is only saying this to encourage people to hone in on the mastermind during the trial. She doesn’t truly believe for a second that her shot put ball might have missed and the mastermind might have wanted to finish the job for her.

Shuichi:  “He moved *away* from the hidden door… to this spot. Why would he do that…? And there’s no trace of his body being moved. It… doesn’t add up.”

Kaede: “…”

Shuichi:  “Ah, are you okay? You’ve gone pale.”

Nervous that Shuichi’s already figuring out your plan and you’re not going to get a chance to uncover the mastermind in the trial, Kaede?

Shuichi finds Rantaro’s Monopad in his pocket. Later when we see the photos, we see he had a Monopad in his hand. These two pieces of information are given to us far enough apart that it’s quite easy to miss the contradiction in it, and nobody notes the contradiction in this chapter, but it is important. I remember vaguely noticing on my first time that it was weird the Monopad wasn’t where it should be, but wrote it off as a minor writing mistake in the end since it was never brought up in the trial. Nope!

Shuichi:  “The shot itself is fairly heavy… You would have to be fairly strong to use it as a weapon.”

Kaede:  (Fairly strong, huh?)

This is probably Kaede thinking she can use this as an excuse to hide her crime by claiming that she’s not strong enough to kill someone with a shot put ball, exactly like she goes on to do in the trial.

Kaede:  “You mean… he had the same idea as us? N-No way… He should have told us… We could’ve worked together…” (I collapsed to the floor, crushed by the weight of my frustration.)

Look at Kaede being especially devastated upon realising that not only did she kill an innocent who wasn’t the mastermind, she killed someone who was just as determined to fight back and help everyone escape as she was.

Shuichi:  “…the culprit’s objective wasn’t to survive, it was to kill everyone here.”

Kaede:  “E-Everyone?”

Kirumi:  “That would explain why they would forgo their survival in favor of a class trial.”

Kaede:  “But… doesn’t that seem like a bit of a stretch to you?”

Heh, Kaede’s thinking about the First Blood Perk from the framework of why she ignored it and not even realising that other people might assume she did it for an awful, selfish reason like that.

Kirumi:  “Well, if the culprit it also the mastermind, then it’s certainly plausible.”

Kaede:  “W-Well, true… Killing us all does seem like something the mastermind would do…”

And here’s Kaede realising that she can use this as more ammo to get everyone to zero in on the mastermind during the trial. (It really isn’t something the mastermind would do, though. If they just wanted to just kill everyone, they’d have done it already and wouldn’t go about it in this convoluted a manner.)

Shuichi:  “The books that you stacked up haven’t moved.”

Kaede:  “Oh, you mean the ones I stacked to keep people from going through the vent.”

“Oh, you mean that thing I did with them that definitely wasn’t me setting up a death trap, just reminding you that I was totally blocking the vent with them even though that doesn’t make sense.”

Ryoma:  “Tell me who you think the culprit is. I don’t mind if it’s just an educated guess.”

Kaede:  “Oh, I wanna know too…”

…Do you really, Kaede?

Ryoma:  “But… there’s someone you’re a little bit suspicious of, right? No, there’s gotta be.”

Shuichi: “Ah…”

Ryoma:  “But you’re afraid of that. You’re afraid of suspecting someone, aren’t you? That’s how it looks to me.”

One of the cool things about Ryoma is that he’s really perceptive like this. Shuichi has definitely seen enough evidence by now to start suspecting Kaede, but of course he’s too terrified to acknowledge it. Ryoma doesn’t even know about Shuichi’s issues, but he can still see this!

Maki:  “…Am I a suspect?”

Kaede:  “Oh, no! That’s not what I meant—”

Maki:  “You should suspect me. In fact, you should be suspicious of everyone.”

I mean, no, she shouldn’t suspect you, Maki, you have an airtight alibi that you’re about to explain to them. In a lot of ways this case is really brilliant, but one of the decidedly less brilliant things about it is how everyone involved in the strategy meeting temporarily becomes an idiot when it comes to understanding how alibis work. Some of said characters are genuinely a bit dim, but Maki is emphatically not.

At the very least, this does work nicely to establish how Maki feels about suspecting people – that it’s simply the sensible thing to do, especially when it’s her you’re suspecting.

Maki:  “So trust no-one, Kaede… Or you’ll lose, got it?”

Guhhh, it’s so heartbreaking that Maki is convinced this is how the world works but also so, so understandable for her. At least she isn’t going to stay trapped in this mindset forever!

Maki:  “And he picked the seven people he thought would be useful in a fight.”

Kaito’s idea of “the seven people who would be useful in a fight” is… interesting, to say the least. Two obvious candidates he should have included that he didn’t are Ryoma and Kirumi. It’s perfectly understandable that Kaito avoided Ryoma, given his issues with him (which I will discuss plenty in chapter 2, don’t you worry), but Kirumi is a little more strange. It’s possible Kaito wasn’t aware of just how much of a hypercompetent badass she is and assumed she could only do normal maid stuff.

Maki:  “Kaito thought Himiko’s magic and Angie’s connection to Atua would be useful.”

For these two, I feel like it might have been less Kaito’s decision than it seems. He was probably inviting Tenko when Tenko insisted Himiko should come with her because of course she would, and then seeing that Himiko was coming, Angie invited herself along too because Atua thinks it sounds fun! or whatever. And then Kaito kind of shrugged and went, “well I guess magic and Atua might help? Whatever, the more the better.”

Kaede:  “But what about you, Maki? Why did he also pick the Ultimate Child Caregiver?”

Maki:  “He just looked at me and said, ‘Yeah, you probably know how to fight.’”

And he’s right, isn’t he! Kaito is a really good judge of character, without needing any concrete evidence to go on. It might seem like he’s just being ridiculous and reckless and idiotic, but he actually has a very keen intuition when it comes to people.

Still, can we take a moment to appreciate the utter trainwreck that this strategy meeting must have been? Gonta locked himself in the back room to watch a bug movie rather than participate, Tenko, Himiko and Angie were probably bickering like they always do, and Rantaro, one of the most sensible and down-to-earth of the bunch, left a few minutes in because he clearly figured his own plan was better than this nonsense. Kaito may be good at motivational speeches, but he is terrible at actually strategising, which would have very quickly become apparent the moment he tried to start doing so. Maki probably sat quietly in the corner wondering why the hell she even decided to go along with this idiot in the first place. She could totally have taken control of the meeting and devised a strategy herself, but I imagine she wasn’t comfortable revealing how much she knows about fighting and killing things, besides which most of the people in the room would probably be too busy being ridiculous to pay attention to her plan.

Also note how Maki is alone in the game room and not investigating with anyone else like they promised. Probably she did at first go into the A/V room to question Gonta but then got fed up with the idiocy of everyone else involved and left.

Gonta:  “Gonta happy to be invited to meeting.”

Aww, I bet he was. He’s so desperate to protect everyone and be useful to everyone that he must have been overjoyed when Kaito asked him for help with this.

Gonta:  “But Gonta think he not be much help, cuz he not smart…”

Gonta really isn’t as dumb as he thinks he is, though! He’s honestly about on par in intelligence with most of the meeting’s participants.

Gonta:  “Why… no-one believe Gonta!? Gonta feel so… pathetic!”

Aww, it’s so sad that he feels pathetic and useless because people don’t realise how much he means well. Don’t worry, Gonta, most of them will come to appreciate how good you are in due time! Especially Kaito.

Kaede:  (Ultra Despair Girls 2… Coming soon…?)

This: not actually breaking the fourth wall! Just a little in-show advertisement for one of Team Danganronpa’s other projects. Though I find it a little strange that they’d wait over fifty seasons of main-series Danganronpas before deciding to give one of its early spin-offs a sequel.

Kaito:  “So I’m not cleared of suspicion yet, huh?”

Yes, you are! We just got done discussing your alibi! You were with at least Tenko the whole time! Gah. Kaito should also not be so stupid as to think this. He is considerably smarter than people always say he is.

Shuichi:  “Ah, don’t worry… you’re not a likely suspect…”

Kaito:  “Hey, that’s not something a detective should say!”

Shuichi:  “What?”

Kaito:  “If you suspect me, you better pursue it to the end. Investigate until you’re satisfied.”

However, I can’t be too annoyed since it gives Kaito a reason to say this, which I really like. One of the traits Kaito puts a lot of value in is having strong convictions and being true to yourself. He believes that if someone feels a certain way about something, they should accept that feeling as a part of who they are and run with it 100%, not try and pretend they don’t really feel that way at all.

(This is one of the reasons Kokichi pisses Kaito off so much – because he’s the exact opposite of this. I’ll probably be talking about this a lot.)

Kaito:  “Well, I’m not planning on leaving it all to you guys. I’ll investigate my own way!”

Yes, Kaito, look at you doing something about this even though you’re not going to end up contributing anything new to the investigation other than what you already have.

Kaito:  “If either of us find something, we’ll report it to the other, got it!?”

Communication! It’s all very well people spreading out to investigate multiple things, but if they never share that information with each other then it’s a lot less helpful. Teamwork is important for astronauts!

Although Kaede never does end up reporting the rest of her investigative findings to Kaito. Sorry, Kaito.

Gonta:  “Gonta not eat door for breakfast! Breakfast most important meal of any gentleman’s day!”

Shuichi:  “…I agree.”

It’s just as well Shuichi’s not actually agreeing about the breakfast part, because he shouldn’t be – he never usually has breakfast until Kaito convinces him to start doing so next chapter.

Kaede:  “I guess an arm could fit through as well, if it were thin enough…”

This should be proof enough that Gonta didn’t do anything involving sticking his arm through that door, because his arms are definitely not thin.

If you talk to Maki again after leaving the A/V room, you get a new conversation.

Maki:  “Were those two still there?”

Kaede:  “Yeah… I didn’t wanna get involved.”

Maki:  “Smart move. Just hearing it wore me out.”

Ha, I figured as much. Maki: always 1000% done with everybody’s nonsense.

(I wonder which two out of Kaito, Himiko and Gonta she’s taking about. Even though he was being the most sensible, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kaito was one of the two, knowing Maki.)

Maki:  “Well, detective, if you do solve this case, it'll really help us out. We're only in this mess because the culprit refused to step forward.”

Shuichi:  “…”

Kaede:  “Let's go, Shuichi! We still have more people to talk to!”

Shuichi:  “Y-Yeah…”

[the camera slowly and pointedly pans over to Maki, who is giving them one of her death glares]

Maki:  “…”

This part makes me think that Maki is looking at the cheeriness between Shuichi and Kaede and noticing how subtly forced and awkward it is because Shuichi already suspects Kaede.

Kokichi is wandering around on his own despite everyone’s agreement to investigate with someone else, because of course he is.

Kaede:  “Why would you do something that would make everyone suspicious of you?”

Probably because he’d rather everyone be suspicious of him and keep their distance than have someone act like they trust him and so he can trust them too only for them to turn around and stab him in the back.

Kokichi:  “Nee-heehee… I’m so excited. I want the class trial to start already.”

Sure, just keep telling yourself that this is a game and you’re having fun with it, Kokichi.

Kiyo:  “My appearance and actions thus far suggest I am someone who would commit a murder.”

BECAUSE YOU ARE. AND YOU HAVE. MULTIPLE OF THEM.

Kaede:  (At least he’s self-aware…)

Exactly what I was about to say, Kaede.

Kaede:  “Well, Tsumugi *is* the Ultimate Cosplayer. She could’ve gone to the bathroom to secretly disguise herself as someone else.”

*deep breath*

NO. THIS IS A STUPID ARGUMENT. You do not need to be disguised as someone else to commit a murder if nobody is going to see you do it! The only point at which a “maybe Tsumugi disguised herself!” argument has any kind of relevance is if somebody who isn’t Tsumugi was witnessed committing the murder, or coming out of the library just afterwards. Then, sure, we should question if that person was really who they appeared to be or if it was Tsumugi in disguise. But the whole point of this mystery is that nobody was seen doing anything of the sort! Maybe Kaede’s saying this because she’s expecting someone to be in the photos, but once they see the photos and don’t see the murderer in them, everybody should drop this line of questioning altogether.

That’s not even getting into how ridiculously dumb Tsumugi’s whole cospox thing is. I find it incredibly difficult to buy that it’s real, and Kaede should, too. Tsumugi even told her to look away while she got changed – she could have been secretly applying makeup to fake the rash during that time! And even if it is somehow bizarrely true that Tsumugi does get cospox from cosplaying real people – well, she considers Kaede and everyone else in this school to be a fictional character, doesn’t she?

And, even if you take this as concrete proof that Tsumugi can’t disguise herself, that doesn’t magically give her an alibi! She was still using the bathroom at around the time Rantaro was killed, and, as I said, funnily enough, you don’t need to be wearing a disguise to be able to kill someone.

I’m not saying all this because I believe everyone should have actually figured out Tsumugi did it during this chapter. I just think it’s frustratingly dumb that that’s the reason they use to write her off as a suspect. The real reason she apparently couldn’t have done it is because nobody knows about the hidden passage in the bathroom, and therefore that she could have got into and out of the library without being seen by the multiple witnesses who were just outside it and would have seen anyone using the normal route.

Tsumugi:  “You breathe life into characters. It’s almost like you’re summoning them. From fiction into the real world…”

Yes, Tsumugi, and once you’ve summoned a fictional character that you wrote into the real world by using a Flashback Light, they are real people and you no longer have the right to fuck with their lives for people’s entertainment.

Kaede seems really convinced the mastermind is going to be in these photos. She has to just be desperately telling herself that, because she has no reason to assume that the mastermind would have wanted to interfere with her murder plot. She should expect the photos to show exactly as little as they do.

I love how Kaito is clearly SO READY TO PUNCH SOMEONE in this photo of them rushing in. He was told the mastermind was in here, so here he is, already rolling up his sleeves getting ready to give them a piece of his mind.

Please also appreciate how Gonta is the first to run in out of the next four, even though he had farthest to run because he was in the A/V room. He probably insisted that everyone else get behind him just in case something dangerous was in there. Gentlemen protect everyone.

Kaede:  “Yeah, that’s pretty odd. Why isn’t there a picture of the mastermind entering?”

Yep, definitely odd, you definitely think that’s odd and weren’t expecting it in any way.

Now really would be an appropriate time for Shuichi to mention the intervals, since it provides the possibility for someone to have got in without being in the photos. I guess he’s too busy thinking that these photos prove the culprit has to be Kaede and freaking out about it to mention that, though.

There’s something kind of interesting about the fact that Rantaro was opening the moving bookcase. It implies he’d never done so before – if he had, he would already know the door behind it is locked with a card reader. If he already knew that, then his plan here wouldn’t have been to try and get into the secret room; he’d have been better off just staking out the library and trying to catch the mastermind in the act, exactly like Shuichi and Kaede were doing. Heck, if Rantaro had known that beforehand, he could have innocently suggested to Kaito to hold the strategy meeting in the library, which would have completely ruined both the mastermind’s hypothetical attempt to make more Monokumas, and Kaede’s murder plan.

(Kaito came so close to completely accidentally saving everyone, if only he’d happened to hold his strategy meeting in the basement’s other room. Instead, what he actually did was completely accidentally ruin everything by delaying Kaede and Shuichi long enough to let Tsumugi get away.)

Shuichi:  “Ah, I did notice something while I was removing the camera… The security sensor for this camera was switched off.”

Did you not also notice that the flash was switched on, Shuichi? Or are you just neglecting to mention that detail because you don’t want to consider what it means?

Kokichi:  “Oh, by the way… Rantaro had his Monopad the whole time, didn’t he? Do you think anything was in it?”

Kokichi is potentially being very observant here. But.

Shuichi:  “I inspected his Monopad, but I didn’t find anything suspicious about it.”

…Other than the fact it was in his pocket and not in his hand like this photo shows it should have been, no?

Kokichi:  “Aw man, so it’s got nothing to do with the case. How confusing.”

I swear to god, Kokichi, if you’ve actually noticed the contradiction between where his Monopad was and where it should have been and you’re not mentioning it to ~make things more interesting!~ or whatever the fuck, then the deaths of literally everybody who dies from this point onwards are on your head for being an uncooperative, selfish little shit. This fact proves that the murderer was in the room with Rantaro, which proves it can’t be Kaede. If Shuichi had known that (and he’s probably only not noticing because he’s too busy freaking out over all the evidence that Kaede did it), then maybe we’d have reached the actual truth in this upcoming trial.

I am going to be charitable towards Kokichi and assume that this is not in fact the case, otherwise I would be complaining constantly throughout the rest of the story that everything bad happening is technically partly his fault, and that’d get pretty repetitive pretty quickly.

Kaede:  “I-It’ll be fine… I just… feel like my back is up against the wall.”

Yeah, your back specifically, right? Everyone else will be fine no matter what.

Huh, you can examine stuff in the warehouse after everybody but Kaede and Shuichi leave to go to the trial. But they didn’t change the investigation text for the shot put balls. Shame.

Shuichi:  “Kaede, really, are you okay…?”

Aww, look at Shuichi worrying about Kaede, even though he himself is very decidedly not okay right now for reasons specifically related to her.

…how is it daytime outside. It should be nearly midnight by now.

Shuichi:  “Do you really think it’s one of us…? Not just the culprit… But the mastermind as well?”

Kaede:  “Huh? Isn’t that what you told me, Shuichi?”

At this point, Kaede believing the mastermind is among them isn’t just because she believes in Shuichi’s reasoning, it’s also because she has to believe that for there to be a hope of her saving everyone in this class trial.

Kaede:  “If you just dismiss a possibility and look the other way without confirming anything… then you’re just turning your back on the truth.”

Shuichi:  “…”

Kaede:  “What’s the matter, Shuichi? You seemed so sure of yourself during the investigation.”

Shuichi:  “Ah, sorry…”

Shuichi knows he’s turning his back on the truth right now and he hates himself for it but still can’t bring himself to face it.

Tsumugi:  “Don’t worry about my cospox. It always goes away as soon as I stop trying to cosplay real people.”

Which is all the more proof that it’s utter bullshit and Kaede should be suspicious as hell about your claim.

Kaito:  “Don’t worry. Even if we gotta do a class trial or whatever, I’ll do something about it!”

Yep, Kaito is going to do something about… the entire class trial! Somehow. Because that’s definitely a thing that can have something done about it and he’s definitely not just desperately trying not to feel powerless.

Kaede: “Remember our promise? We’re gonna escape this place and remain good friends afterward… So let’s do it! I’m sure we’ll be alright! Because… we make such an incredible team.”

Kaede is still pure and good even when she is a murderer.

Kaito:  “Heh, I wouldn’t be able to call myself a man if I was still scared after hearing a girl say that.”

…Okay. Look, we need to establish something here. I am of the firm, unshakeable belief that Kaito’s talk about manliness is not toxic masculinity in any meaningful way, and isn’t even that strongly about gender. I will be commenting on basically every instance of him talking about manliness in order to build up a picture of what the concept of being a “man” actually means to him throughout this commentary.

So it is extremely inconvenient that the very first instance of this also happens to be one of, what, maybe four or five lines Kaito has in the whole game that are somewhat misogynistic. Aside from this tiny handful of lines, everything else about Kaito’s personality, principles, and behaviour towards the game’s female cast – especially Kaede and Maki, who mean the most to him – indicates that he considers gender completely irrelevant to how much he respects a person, to the point that these few lines come across as jarring and out of character. This line here implies that he sees Kaede as beneath him because she’s a girl, and that his concept of manliness involves men needing to be emotionally stronger than women, and both of these things are objectively not true about him. I’ve talked about Kaito’s respect for Kaede more than enough for the former of these being untrue to already be abundantly clear, and as I said, I will be making a case for the latter being untrue as well as we go along.

Danganronpa’s writing can sometimes be annoyingly sketchy and awkward like this (see: 80% of the things Miu ever says, and every time Tenko yells about degenerate males, to name the most obvious examples from this game). While Kaito is usually so well-written that he’s unaffected by that, it seems that ever so occasionally it manages to graze him with a temporary Misogyny Bullet. These moments should be disregarded as bad writing and not taken to be a meaningful part of Kaito’s character, since they are contradicted by absolutely everything else about him.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled Kaito Being Good:

Kaito:  “Bring it! I’ll show them how I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, live!”

Kokichi:  “Don’t you mean ‘die’?”

Don’t worry, Kokichi, he’ll show them that too, in time. And that’ll do a better job at your main goal of pissing off Monokuma than you ever will.

Kaede:  “If you’re scared, borrow the strength of others who will be there to help you.”

Yeah, Shuichi! Like Kaede is here for you right now, and like Kaito and Maki will be later! Friendship is exactly what people need to help them deal with the terror of a killing game, and it’s great that we finally have a Danganronpa that realises this and makes it such a big part of the story.

Kaede:  “Think of everyone you’re helping, and let that be your strength.”

And now Kaede is definitely speaking from personal experience – she’s able to be as strong and encouraging as she is because the thought of the people she’s doing it for gives her that strength!

Kaede:  (Those words were mainly for me… To inspire me, so I would not turn back…)

Guhhh. She knows she’s almost certainly going to her death; of course she’s terrified and needs to give herself courage like this!

Kaede:  (Rantaro… He died without knowing his own Ultimate talent… No… He was murdered… by some horrible, lowlife scumbag…)

AAAAAAAAA. KAEDE, NO, YOU WERE TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE.

(I mean, he was actually murdered by a genuine scumbag, but Kaede is not thinking that the scumbag isn’t her.)

Kaede:  (I’ll never forgive his killer… That’s why… We’re going to expose the mastermind and end this killing game!)

Because she thinks that the only thing she can do to try and make up for this unforgivable crime is to at least actually save everyone else when all is said and done.

Kaede:  (I can’t show any fear here… I must fight till the bitter end.)

…Yeah. The bitter end, all right.

---

[Next post]

[fizzingwizard]

I started this on my lunch break, still gotta rewatch to be coherent but wanted to put down some bullet points of Feelings!!!

The bottom line is I did like Bokura no Mirai, because I think the Tri writers are good, BUT I think half of the issues in BoM were their hands being tied by the limited time left, and the other half simply planning way too much. Both are amateur mistakes and yet anime movies routinely make them, so I’m not as strict as I should be.

As an aside, my personal theory for this movie was that Taichi would let the two worlds merge. I thought he was going to shock everyone by choosing not to stop it, letting the worlds merge sans reboot, and that would result in humans and digimon living in harmony. It’s an unfinished theory obviously, since it supposes a different outcome of the merge than Yggdrasil believes will happen, and also because even if the world was fine after, we’d lose the future where there are two worlds and Taichi needs to be an ambassador between them. But that’s what I was expecting, something of that nature anyway, let’s say. I suppose I’m overly influenced by Tsubasa Chronicle lol.

k now for some highs and lows!!!

HIGHS

TAKERU, MAGNAANGEMON AND DEVIMON!!!! There is NOTHING like Takeru angst. omg. Not for me anyway. No other character’s trauma hit me the way Takeru still carries the burden of what happened to his partner in their very first boss battle.

People predicted Nishijima’s death but I did NOT. I thought of course he was going to be reunited with Himekawa. So this will figure in my “lows” section as well, but as for his apparent death itself, I was moved. But it’s also totally unfair and it’s more of a low than a high for Reasons. But it still deserves a mention here.

Mimi telling Meiko (and the others) to stop blaming themselves. I like Meiko, I do, but I was really annoyed with her when Hikari was feeling guilty and Meiko just had to feel guilty for that. It’s par for the course with her, and I was really defensive of her last movie - I think it was the way it felt like she was using Hikari’s distress to vent her own feelings that bothered me this time around. That being said, I certainly empathize with her and with Hikari, and I’m glad Mimi was so nice and caring about it. (Her line would have been perfectly suited to Sora - our Mimi is growing up!)

The cute moments with the Digimon - glad we still got some of those.

Yamato and Gabumon’s conversation on the balcony was UGH. So great. They’re probably my favorite partner relationship since Adventure. It was so IC and so perfect. I could cry at how sweet and sensitive and full of resilience Gabumon was. Just like his partner.

Also Yamato’s heartbreak over Taichi was sOOOO strong!! And then we they reunite he’s just like, “You’re late.” And you know what I thought of? Rini in the dub Sailor Moon movie. Hahahaha. I had actually hopped for a sweet moment between Taichi and Yamato but... well they stared at each other dramatically for a while, I guess that counts *cough*

KOUSHIROU was MAGIC. Part of me is like “fake science is fake!” but the other part is like “lol but if anyone could make fake science real it’d be Koushirou!” I love that, even when the others weren’t being forward about rejecting the reboot, and Yamato even implied that if Taichi thought it was the way to spare the most sacrifices he would do it, Koushirou was the one who emphatically said “NO!”

Hikari and everything about her. I love that she told Taichi she might not be able to forgive him. And I love that she said “thats why i’m going to fight alongside you.” And her expression during that last battle. It was the same determined look as Taichi’s. There are still a billion questions about her and Meiko as well, why what happened happened, maybe on second viewing I’ll understand more, but... I think it’s mostly “digimon lore” stuff that may never get explained.

Taichi’s phone call to Meiko at the end and the way the other kids acted. Of course I always love flustered and embarrassed Taichi. For the first time, I thought I could ship Meichi after the way Taichi called her and then did nothing but grunt and made her do all the work of carrying the conversation herself xD That boy is hopeless!

Also, Taichi in general. I’m still..... not quite sure what happened. Not quite sure what the takeaway is supposed to be. He was rescued by Nishijima after Yggdrasil’s life or death survival game, and came back to the real world... and chose to kill Meicoomon. In Kyousei, I was sad but on board because there did not appear to be any other day. I didn’t know what they’d do in Bokura no Mirai. Finales are often the age of miracles,  but on the other hand, as much as I wanted Meicoomon to reunite with Meiko, it would have been so underwhelming if everything just went back to normal with no sacrifices (oh yeah, Nishijima). So mixed feelings on how things played out. But one thing I do know is that I loved Taichi the entire time. I love that he’s not a straight up hero. He can do things that make his little sister say she’ll never forgive him. And he can be the kindest bravest person around. Right or wrong, I can’t help but like him.

LOWS

One thing - a lot of my lows result from things that went unanswered or at least I didn’t understand it last night. 

The story quite simply does not feel complete. It’s not even a feeling - it isn’t complete. What the hell was Yggdrasil’s comments about Daemon and whatever at the end. A joke? I didn’t really get the feeling. Was that dark cube some variety of dark spore? Or the one from Adventure? Also, we don’t get to find out what happened to real Gennai (or did I just miss it)? Up till now I never believed it was really him... maybe that was wishful thinking... but why tho

Taichi’s character development arc. He got a LOT. And I do love it overall, but I’m not quite sure I understand it. I suppose the simple answer is, he’s going to be an ambassador, and an ambassador needs to be able to negotiate, to see things in shades of gray, and (ok waxing poetical here but) to understand that life and death are a balance. Idk. I’m a Star Trek fan, “the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many” usually results in intergalactic shenanigans to steal whales from a different time. And who doesn’t love that?

Part of me just needed more... Idk, closure I suppose? about Meiko and Meicoomon after everything they went through. I wanted Meiko to be a bigger character in the finale movie. I’m surprised by that since I wasn’t warm to her in the beginning, but it feels wrong that in the end, all she got was a sweet farewell. It was very sweet! And heartbreaking! And I’m not exactly angry that Meicoomon was lost, but after 5 movies leading up to it, it just felt... i dunno, it lacked the sense of relief I was looking for. (However, I sometimes feel these things differently on rewatch. This is a scene I’ll be looking out for.)

The 02 gang’s been missing... like the said in Saikai. OK fine. Why didn’t the kids ever try to contact them beyond that one visit to Ken’s house?? Why weren’t they concerned that none of them were like “Hello, we heard digimon are raising hell, can we help?” That is the question folks. Tri definitely did NOT need more characters to juggle, but heck, “they’re all camping in a remote island with no electricity!” would have been a better excuse for why no one notices they’re not around.

Daigo’s death. Like I said, it was a hero’s death, and for that it was awesome. But a lot of the reasons why it was awesome were inferences. Like, Taichi was just like “whoa?” when nishijima was like “oh yeah maki’s disappeared she lost her mind searching for her dead partner.” This should have been way bigger news. I don’t see why they wouldn’t be intensely curious about their predecessors - yeah big world shaking battle is gonig on so I get it not being on the back burner, but it was totally just shoehorned in. No thank you! Daigo deserved better.

MAKI DIDN’T EVEN APPEAR. I had been so worried about her but I thought the worst that would happen would be she’d do something to redeem herself and die! But nope! She’s not there AT ALL. And Daigo’s DEAD! Honestly it wouldn’t be SO bad if we could be sure this wasn’t the end... because it just feels like there’s so much story left to tell, including theirs. The Original Chosen in Tri are more like a summary of “a fanfic I’d like to write someday.” Better to just not have included them. Found some different way to cause the reboot. They were treated worse in the end than the 02 kids, frankly.

one last quibble... Essentially no Taishiro. :( :( :( I mean just platonic moments. Just one would have been good! Oh well.

i’m totally leaving things out but that’s all I’ve got for the moment. rewatch imminent

[clonerightsagenda]

alright... this is a vague as hell question so i understand if you gotta think about it for a while, but do you have any advice on writing? or maybe about the process of how you personally write things? i love how organic all the emotions in your fanfictions seem to be. it's not over the top but they still seem /tangible/, you know? i aim to have that kind of skill some day so i figure i may as well ask where i can, but no pressure or anything! thank you :)

Well, first of all, thanks for the compliment! It’s always exciting as a writer to hear that things are coming across well. And it’s very flattering to have someone come to you for advice.

Now, my writing style and process vary dramatically between fic and original stuff. There aren’t a lot of examples of my original stuff online - I put a few stories up here, here, and here, and of course there’s the shitty vampire novel, but all of those are pretty old. I don’t have any current examples of my original stuff; I’m hoping to get back into that more once TLC stops eating my life. So I guess I’ll split this response into halves, with a section for generic advice as well. So thirds, I guess.

General

This is something you hear everywhere, but the number one ingredient in good writing is time. I’m 23 years old.  I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. And my early stuff is shit. That being said, it’s fun shit - there’s this joyful abandon you can find in really early work, where the writers don’t know any of the rules, don’t care about what other people think, and are having fun in this new world where they can do anything. I love looking back at my old stuff for that reason.  But in terms of quality, it’s not great. Now…  I’m not going to be arrogant; I’m not spectacular, but I’d say I’m pretty consistently OK. Solid.  And a good chunk of that is because I’ve been writing for nearly two decades.

That being said, this time I’m talking about is over *years*. I don’t hold with advice that says you have to write every day to be a writer, even if you feel miserable doing it. Doing something when you hate doing it is a good way to poison it for yourself forever. There’s a difference between knowing you’ll get into a writing session once you start and you’re just dragging your feet vs. forcing yourself when you don’t want to. Don’t punish yourself if you don’t feel like writing today or if you don’t have the time. Don’t fret if you’ve gone a year without touching any of your wips! You can always come back to it. It’s not a race.

You’ve probably heard this next one already as well, but reading is also important. Find authors you like. See what they’re doing. Learn. And this 100% includes the writers you like online.* There are some people online doing incredible things with language that I haven’t seen as much in published fiction, because self-published stuff is a crucible for creativity that might not get past official publishers as much or as quickly. (Ngl it’s also a dumping ground for a lot of bad stuff, but you have to do the filtering). The more you read, the more you have to draw from when you’re developing your own style.

*(If your goal is publication, you do need to read a lot of what’s being published in the genre you’re aiming for. Most of my advice here is focused on just writing for pleasure. Publication has some different considerations.)

Finally, if you have an opportunity to give and get critique, go for it. You learn a lot from pulling other people’s writing apart. What worked? What didn’t? How can you apply that to your own work? Do note though, that unless people are asking for this level of criticism, they may not appreciate you showing up and giving it to them. There are some sites that involve people critiquing each other, or you might find a workshop class or group. You can also find friends who might be interested in swapping stories. Always figure out what your boundaries are and how honest you want your friends to be. Setting that up at the start is a good way to avoid hurt feelings later.

Those are all pretty general and obvious, and I’m sure you’ve heard most of them before. So let’s move on to my process and break the rest of this response into two.

Fic-related

I’ll start with fic since that’s what you mentioned. Again, a major ingredient is time. I’ve been in this fandom for 5 ½ years, which is kind of horrifying to think about. I wasn’t writing fic for all of that time, but what I was doing was a lot of meta and character analysis. I really love digging into characterization and motivation. How does this character really feel? Why do they do what they do? What would be the best way for them to develop as a person?  Those are questions I dealt with in my meta posts, but they are also questions that you frequently deal with in fanfic. Then TLC happened, and I ended up writing tens of thousands of words for these characters. That was a hell of a lot of practice. So, I got very comfortable with them. I can whip off a pesterlog like that these days.

What really got me comfortable though, was assigning a kind of speedy and carefree attitude to fic. I tend to be very protective of my work. For a long time, I wouldn’t let anyone read anything I wrote. A real turning point was when I went to a workshop where the instructor challenged us to submit something. I submitted something terrible to a literary journal, and it got rejected, but I also got a really nice note, probably since whoever looked it over realized how young I was. That first submission broke some of the tension. However, I still tend to be cautious. I’m a perfectionist. I like to get things right. So with fic, I really tried to let go of that. I don’t polish this stuff as much as I’d polish original material. I usually do a little more if I am putting it up on ao3, but I will write something in one go and slap it online. That’s incredibly freeing. It makes me more productive, and I think some of the stuff I write fast and loose is often some of my better stuff. The John and Jade pajamas thing, which I think is by far the superior tuesjade prompt response I’ve done, popped into my head all together. I wrote it down, did one pass of revision, and was done. Telling yourself ‘I’m just going to write this thing because it’s fun and I want to, and I’ll put it up online in case anyone else wants to look at it, and if they don’t like it I don’t care because I like it’ is liberating. When you’re no longer so worried about getting everything perfect and making sure other people will love it, I think you write better stuff.

In terms of process, most of my fic is short. I usually have an idea, often a few scenes will pop into my head fully formed, and I’ll write it. There’s typically not a lot of planning involved. In my longish 6-10k stories, I usually do this for multiple scenes and then paste them together. Now, I planned the hell out of TLC, but that’s because it’s 1500+ pages with over 30 characters to deal with.  If I didn’t plan everything out, I’d be halfway through and realize I’d forgotten a main character. And that would be terrible.

I want to make sure I touch on emotion, since that’s something you mentioned. A lot of it does go back to all that analysis I did so I got pretty comfortable with how I interpret these characters’ inner lives. Then I had to figure out how comfortable they would be talking about that stuff, how they would express it, and what circumstances might encourage them to be more vocal. The nice thing is, people sitting around talking about their feelings is a perfectly acceptable fic genre. I’m not saying you can’t get away with that in original stuff - I’ve seen some good examples - but it’s not a hallmark in the same way. Fic is about filling in the gaps, and since content creators often don’t slow down to show these quiet emotional moments or the emotional impact of various story events, fic writers and fic readers love them.  

When I’m writing something focusing on emotion, I try to avoid “quick fix” stories. You can’t suddenly solve depression or anxiety or trauma. Instead, my moments of catharsis typically involve someone learning to be more honest than they had before about their problems, an exchange of insecurities, a realization of what they have left to overcome, or another sort of “small step”. They’re quiet, tiny progressions on a scale of getting better, and maybe that’s why they feel more organic? Sometimes you get a big epiphany in life, but more often you get a lot of small ones.

I do think stories focused on emotional development can very easily seem forced and false, so I’m pleased that you don’t think mine do! It’s something I worry about. I think the biggest trick is to make sure the characters aren’t just talking about something because you want them to. Would they realistically admit something? How would they respond to being questioned? Are they doing this because they want to, or is it obvious that the fic author has tied them to a chair and is pointing emphatically at a teleprompter offstage? One advantage for me is that a lot of my fic is set post-TLC where people have aired a lot of their grievances. However, they’re still sometimes reluctant, say one thing and mean another, or cloak one emotion in something different. Once you know how a character behaves, you can write them behaving that way and still express the true emotions underneath through the ways they try to hide them. I think Catch Me If You Can is a good example of that. Vriska is allergic to being genuine (that’s kind of her whole arc in that fic) and so instead of being upfront about her emotions, she frequently gets defensive and hostile. However, those defensive responses betray a lot about what she’s really feeling. So often, I like to express character’s emotions in the negative space between their reactions and their true sentiments. What we don’t say or only allude to is often more important than what we do. Sometimes the words we use are just distractions.  (In contrast, Dave will talk to a wall, and TLC Jade is so determined not to repeat her mistakes she turns honesty sometimes into a cudgel or penance.) Often, characters being truly honest to each other and straight-up admitting their feelings shows up at the ending of one of my fics as the resolution moment, once they’ve worked their way up to that level of vulnerability. See: A Horrible Kind of Nice.

OK, let’s touch quickly on original stuff. In terms of process, it’s the total opposite. I outline the hell out of it. Maybe not for some a shorter stories, but for anything long? I love outlines. I also tend to start with the plot first. That’s something, after spending so many years focused on fic, that I’m starting to reconsider. I think that when I go back to original stuff, I’m going to spend a lot more time immersing myself in the characters first, so I can write them as authentically as I hope I write people in fic these days. I also write out of order. Is there some scene you are really itching to get to? Write it. This goes for scenes in the same story, though. You do need some level of discipline to not keep jumping from new idea to new idea abandoning your old ones. You’ll never get anything done that way. I do think there’s power in finally completing something too. In my experience anyway, after I completed my first long story, it got a lot easier to finish other ones. I did that with the help of NaNoWriMo, but I’ve since done it on my own.

This has gotten very long, so I’ll cap it off there.  It’s a big question that can be answered a lot of ways, and I feel like I mostly rambled. So if you’d like clarification on anything, or if you want to say 'hey Kat you didn’t answer my question at all’, feel free to ask a follow-up.

[impalasutra]

CYOSTODA - Part 3: Leah Picks Dare

Characters: Dean, Leah, Sam, and Reader

Location: Motel room, Crappsville, USA

Word Count: 1354

Warnings: Female nudity, girls making out, clothed male/naked female interactions, drunkenness, cursing

Choose Your Own Supernatural Truth Or Dare Adventure Mastermess Or, here’s how you can follow the thread to my corner of the story: Part 1: Setup - @littlegreenplasticsoldier Part 2: Dean Picks Dare - @eyes-of-a-disney-princess

Part 3 - 

“Ok, Leah, guess you’re up.  Truth or dare?”

Leah downed the contents of her drink and reached forward with her glass in hand, indicating Sam should give her a refill.  Through all of this she never took her eyes off of Dean and, when her mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, she had a sexy smirk on her lips.  Leah held her now full cup up towards Dean in a toast.  “Dare,” she challenged him.

Damn, this girl had balls.  You liked her even more.

“Alright!” Dean exclaimed.  “Getting this game started right!”  He paused and took a sip of his own drink.  “I can’t help but notice that Y/N’s bra looks fucking amazing on her but it also really compliments your skin tone.”

Sam snorted at his brother’s words.

“Just because you don’t know what would look good on a woman doesn’t mean all men are clueless,” Dean snapped towards Sam.

Sam muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “No chick flick moments, my ass,” but Dean ignored him as well as your giggles and turned back to Leah.

“I dare you to go into the bathroom and trade underwear with Y/N.”

Your laughter stopped immediately at Dean’ words and you whipped your head around to look at Leah who had turned to look at you.  When your eyes met hers, she licked her lips before turning back to Dean.

“When you say underwear, what exactly do you mean?” Leah questioned, her voice unreadable.

“Panties, bra, those sexy garter belt things, if you’re wearing one… all that stuff,” Dean clarified.

“Huh,” Leah responded, looking at you apologetically and then turning back to Dean.  “I, uh, I’m not wearing a bra,” she admitted.

“What?” you squawked at the same time as Dean turned to Sam and said, “Well, this just got more interesting,” with a wicked glint in his eye.

The brothers both turned the full extent of their charm on you.  “You’re not gonna chicken out, are you, Y/N?” Dean asked with a wink.  “Sammy’s been fantasizing about this moment for an entire year.”  

Sam shot Dean a solid bitchface before looking back at you.  “Rules are rules, Y/N,” the younger Winchester reminded you.

“It’s not even my turn and I’m going to end up half naked? No way,” you replied but Sam gave you his best puppy dog eyes and you found yourself giving in and standing next to Leah.  “You and your stupid face…” you muttered before speaking up, “Sam, that glass better be full to the brim when we get back.”

You and Lean made your way into the bathroom and closed the door behind you.  You looked at one another for a tense moment before the silence was broken.  You weren’t sure which of you started it but soon enough, both of you were giggling at the absurdity of where the evening had taken you.  The whisky had been flowing so you were both pretty drunk already and about to exchange underwear in a motel bathroom, despite having only met each other barely an hour earlier.  

You and Leah calmed down and began the process of trading.  “So, how long have you known Dean and Sam?” Leah asked as she unbuttoned and pulled down the fly of her jeans, carefully stepping out of them in the small bathroom.

You mirrored her actions as you replied.  “We’ve been working together for a year, now,” you told the other woman.  “Tonight is an anniversary party, of sorts, actually.”

You both shimmied out of your panties and passed them to the other.  Yours matched the bra you were wearing and Dean had been right, the color complimented her soft, smooth skin beautifully.  Luckily, you and Leah seemed to be about the same size so the underwear she passed you just about fit and you easily slid the lace boyshorts up your legs.

“Thanks for letting me celebrate with you,” Leah said as you drunkenly fumbled with the clasp on your bra.  “Here, turn around, let me help.”

You turned your back on Leah and she whipped her shirt over her head before she ran a hand through your hair and unhooked your bra, sliding the straps down your arms.  Her naked chest was pressed against your back and the mood in the tiny room shifted.  

You both shifted so that you were facing the mirror and Leah’s eyes locked on yours.  Her hands moved to your arms, which were crossed over your chest, holding your bra in place.  Leah eased your arms down and you allowed your bra to fall off.

In the mirror you watched Leah’s eyes darken and you licked your lips.  Leah’s head dropped and her mouth found a sensitive spot just below your ear.  Your head dropped back onto her shoulder and you bit your lower lip as Leah cupped one of your breasts.  Her hands were softer and gentler than you were used to feeling against your skin and you couldn’t help but let out a breathy “fuck.”

“Happy Anniversary, Y/N,” Leah whispered, her breath hot and teasing in your ear.

You turned in Leah’s arms and captured her lips in a kiss but before things could go too far, there was a banging on the door.  You and Leah jumped apart like teenagers whose parents had walked in on them as Dean shouted through the door.

“Are you two ever coming out?  There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, ladies!”

You rolled your eyes at his words and Leah broke into giggles again.  She slipped your bra on and you did up the clasps for her, running a hand along her back in the process.  “You ready?” Leah asked you as she reached for the door knob.

“As I’ll ever be,” you told her.

With that, Leah opened the door and stepped out into the motel room wearing nothing but your lingerie set.  You followed Leah out in her lace panties, your arms once again crossed over your chest.  You both crossed the room again and Leah sat back down gracefully.  You sat on the foot of the bed before sliding down onto the floor.  It was much less graceful but you didn’t want to move your arms and expose your chest to the brothers.  You looked for your glass, needing some more liquid courage in order to keep this night going.  

Finally, you found your glass, filled with whisky as you had requested, but it was out of your reach in Dean’s hands.  “Dean, give me my drink,” you commanded.  

“Aw, you gotta ask nicely, sweetheart,” Dean replied with a wink, “or, you could just reach out and take it.”  He smirked at you and wagged his eyebrows.

You glared at Dean, refusing to budge but, unfortunately, Dean managed to hold up under your angry gaze and didn’t give you an inch.  You were locked in a standoff.

“Give her the glass or you’ll never hear about what happened while we were naked in the bathroom,” Leah shot towards Dean.

“Give her the glass, Dean,” Sam quickly agreed.

You would never understand what it was about girl-on-girl action that got straight men excited but you were grateful that it did when Dean nodded emphatically and passed you your whisky, getting it close enough that you only needed to move one arm to grab it from him.  You threw the amber liquid back and gave yourself a few moments to prepare before reaching out for the bottle with your other arm.  

Sam passed you the bottle, making a point of keeping his eyes on your face.  Dean, on the other hand, was not quite the gentleman his brother was pretending to be and you felt his eyes roaming over your body as you poured yourself another glass of whisky.  “Alright, it’s not like you’ve never seen a naked woman before,” you grumbled as you started to feel the last round of alcohol hit your system.  “Let’s keep this game moving.”

Leah took that as her cue and turned her gaze on Sam, a wicked glint in her eye.  “Truth or dare, Sammy?”

Part 4 - Sam Picks Truth written @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

Part 4 - Sam Picks Dare written by @skybinx-blog

CYOSTODA Crew tag: @winchesterswoonathon, @saenalife, @inkiestdawn, @curliesallovertheplace, @kreborn17, @winchester-writes, @kayteonline, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @moonlitskinwalker, @rizlow1, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @sunriserose1023, @sammit-janet, @revwinchester, @notnaturalanahi, @babypieandwhiskey, @klaineaholic, @winchesterprincessbride, @ilostmyshoe-79, @mamalinda09, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @kittenofdoomage, @deandoesthingstome, @skybinx-blog, @gemini75eeyore, @ive-been-told-that-im-fangirling, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid

[thorne93]

Decisions, Decisions (Part 4)

Prompt: Imagine Tom Hiddleston has a crush on you and he is feeling jealous of James McAvoy on “The Graham Norton Show” because James talks about how great the chemistry was between you, his co-star, and him in your latest film.

Warnings: language, sexual content, adult content...?

Word Count: 3450

Note: Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ - This fic would NOT be possible without you, and @amarvelouswritings​ - who let me badger the hell out of her. Thank you both a million! Used @theartofimagining13​ imagine

Also, some of the timelines are going to be off in this, to make stuff fit, and James’ wife and child are nonexistent - nothing against them, just easier to write if he didn’t have an ex wife and child.

Tags: @wordacadabra   @frenchfrostpudding @lisssays @cocosierra94 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s the update?” Ida demanded as soon as you called her on your way to the set, sitting in the back of the luxury sedan.

“A hello would be nice,” you tried.

“No time for hellos! Did you score or not?” she said frantically, making you grin at her.

“A lady never kisses and tells,” you answered.

“Good thing neither of us is a lady, so tell me, woman. You never called me last night so I’m assuming something happened!”

“No, nothing happened. He was a perfect gentleman.”

“So why didn’t you call?”

“I was tired,” you responded simply, shrugging and eyeing the hills of LA as they went by the window.

“When did you get back?”

“I don’t know, maybe 11 or midnight. I have work today, so I didn’t feel like staying up.”

“Something’s off about you,” Ida suddenly said, skeptical of your tone. “What’s going on? Talk to me. I always know when you don’t talk something is wrong.”

You sighed, there was no point in hiding it. “Ida...What if this is a mistake?”

“Mistake how?”

“Dating a co-star? It never ends well. Look at Reese and Ryan, Nick and Jennifer, Kristen and Rob…” you were listing off so many it was starting to solidify your point.

“So? Who cares what happened to them?”

“Ida...it hardly ever works out…” you argued, starting to sadden yourself.

“Yeah well it hardly ever works out to be an A list celeb but here you are, killing it.”

You nodded slightly, that statement making you feel better. “Yes, but…”

“But nothing! Don’t do this. Don’t ruin a good thing.”

You sighed. “Alright.”

“So, now that you’ve had one date with each, what’re you thinking?”

“I'm thinking James is amazing.”

“Yeah? So go with James!”

“But Tom is so sweet, and kind, and he and I understand each other and we have a connection through academics and I’m honestly shocked how I never saw it before.”

“Quite the predicament,” she noted.

“I’ll say,” you sighed. “I gotta go, I’m on set.”

“Okay, keep me posted!”

“Will do.”

You hung up and headed straight to hair and makeup. It took two hours and you finally got onto the set of the bloody living room and James met you there, a lustful grin appearing on his face as soon as he saw you. You weren’t sure if he was in character yet, but before you could decipher it, Ed began giving directions.

------------

All day James did all these little things for you, grabbing you water, complimenting you, helping you with some tips. And all day Tom and Ida were blowing up your phone. Ida wanted an update on how James was acting around you on set and Tom was texting you details of his day, asking how yours was, saying he couldn’t wait until the premiere. He sent you a few pictures of him with some fans, his hotel room in England, and his itinerary, the two of you joking about how life as a celebrity is so time consuming.

Both men were giving you so much attention, it was almost suffocating. Between the paparazzi, the men, Ida, and general work, the day was rough. You were looking forward to going home after 15 hours and just taking a nice hot bath and drowning out the world.

When you got home though, a gift was on your doorstep. A bouquet of red roses and white lilies with a note that read:  

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

Your heart seemed to melt in your chest. You took the flowers and the card inside and sat them on a table. Sending a quick text to both men that you were retiring for the night, you got a call back from Tom.

“Hello,” you greeted with a grin as you made your way around the bedroom.

“Hi there, did you get my flowers?” he asked expectedly.

“Yes I did. Lord Byron, with my favorite poem, how did you know?” You bit your lip, slipping out of your clothes.

“You mentioned it once while we were filming,” he said nonchalantly.

“Oh? Quite the memory, Mr. Hiddleston,” you remarked, smirking to yourself. Getting spoiled by two men was quite the pet for your ego.

“I remember a great deal of things, Ms. Y/L/N,” he responded back coquettishly.

“It must be breakfast time in England,” you mentioned.

“It is indeed. You seem to be the first thing I think about when I wake up lately,” he admitted, getting quieter as time went on. Your heart melted again at his words.

“I hope that’s a good thing,” you whispered as you paced in front of your giant window.

“Oh it is.”

“I think about you too, quite often I’m afraid.” It wasn’t a lie at all. While being with James made you feel alive, exuberant, filled with wonder. Being around Tom was effortless, easy, relaxing. You were very torn on them, while the physical aspect seemed heavier with James, the mental aspect was stronger with Tom. It also seemed that, James made you feel excited, yet he was relatively laid back. Tom had a calming effect on you but he was much more adventurous. Their effects on you were the opposite of their personalities, it was quite peculiar.

“That’s good to hear. I can’t wait for our date next week.”

“Me either,” you said, biting your lip again. “Ugh, my stylist will probably want me to wear something new though.”

“You don’t sound thrilled, I thought you liked dresses?”

“I do, but it’s just...I already have so many, we just aren’t allowed to be seen in the same gown twice you know.” You rolled your eyes thinking of at least twenty gowns in your closet right now that were perfectly beautiful but Hollywood didn’t accept a gown seeing the light of day more than once.

“Let me buy you something then, you’re my date,” he offered jovially.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Oh, Tom, no that’s absolutely not necessary.”

“Please, I want to. I’ll have my agent send my info to your agent and they can sort it out.”

“Tom, please, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I do. You’re my date and you should be treated well.”

You shook your head and laughed lightly at the absurdity.

“Alright, I can see you’re set on this. Thank you. I’ll make sure to wear something that wows you. What’s your favorite color?”

“Surprise me, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you pick.”

“Alright,” you responded. “Thank you very much.”

“Absolutely. Listen, I’ve got to get ready for my day, but have a good night. It was great to hear your voice.”

“Yeah, your’s too. Good morning, I suppose. Have a good day.”

You ended the call and grinned like an idiot as you finished getting ready for bed. You fell asleep, blissfully euphoric in your own giddiness.

------------------------

Thursday morning on your way to the set you called Ida for another update. You had told her about the flowers and the dresses.

“Dude, you are getting hooked up. I’m amazed considering you’re dating two dudes. If I was Tom or James I’m not sure I’d be pouring on all this romance.”

You laughed uneasily.

“Wait, they do they know you’re dating the other, right?”

You hesitated.

“They don’t, do they? Y/N, you have to tell them.”

“Why? Why do I have to tell them? We aren’t exclusive. They don’t need to know my affairs--I mean my business.”

“They have a right to know,” she argued, a little perturbed with you. Ida was always the voice of reason.

“It’s none of their business who I see. I’m not their property.”

“But you’re lying to them,” she asserted.

You sighed, contemplating whether to tell her the next part. “I’m also afraid if I tell them, one of them will leave, and I’d really like to figure out who I mesh better with before that happens.”

“So you’re stringing them along.”

“No!” you countered emphatically. “No. They both want to date me, I want to date them. What they don’t know won't hurt them.  I don’t see why I should tell them. It’s not like I’m doing this to hurt anyone.”

“But someone will get hurt, Y/N, if you aren’t careful,” she warned.

“No, no one’s going to get hurt. When the time is right, I’ll tell them.”

She sighed. “You can’t keep a second life forever, or hide something like this for long. You’re forgetting who you are and who they are.”

“I know that. Look, I should know by date three which one I feel better suited with and I’ll make the call then, but until then, there is no reason to destroy my relationship with either one.”

“Alright,” she conceded with defeat. “Just...be careful,” she stressed.

“I will. Gotta go. Love you, bye.”

You hung up and jumped out and went on set. You had shot most of the day and it was break time so you were in your trailer. A knock came at your door.

“Come in,” you called.

The door opened and it was your PR agent. Usually she didn’t show up unless you had an interview or an event.

“What do we have scheduled now?” you asked as you looked up from your tablet to the dark haired woman with glasses. She was rather staunch for a PR agent, but you supposed she had to be though.

“What is this?” she demanded, turning her own tablet to you and then showing you The Enquirer. On the front page of it, was you and Tom walking together from your dinner date. The other was James and you from Saturday night in front of the ice cream shop.

“What is what?” you questioned, wondering why she cared. Celebrities were speculated to date their costars constantly, nine times out of ten it was false and this didn’t harm anything.

“Read what they’re writing,” she instructed, pointing at the tabloid.

“Y/N and Tom or Y/N and James? Who won’t she date?” You shrugged at it. You learned a long time ago to have a thick skin when it came to things like this. You just hoped the guys hadn’t seen it but you would deal with that if it came to it, but why did Caroline care. “Yeah, so?”

“They’re saying you’re sleeping with both of them.”

“And?”

“Is it true?”

You stood up. “Woah, hold on. If it is, it’s no one’s god damn business but my own.”

“Y/N, this could really mess with your career.”

“What? My sex life? I’m going to be accused of banging every dude I’m seen with.”

She was silent for a moment. “This doesn’t bother you? So either you are sleeping with them or you just don’t care about your image.”

“Fuck my image,” you said angrily. “Who cares? Tom was pictured with Elizabeth while they were filming I Saw the Light and that wasn’t true. People have said Jennifer and Bradley are dating because they work together so often. Caroline, shutting down rumors just starts more, you should know that.” You didn’t mean to sound like such a bitch, but the fact of the matter was that even if this was true or false, it wasn’t any one’s business, people would believe what they wanted regardless of what anyone could do to try and control the media.

She sighed. “I just didn’t want them printing something about you if it wasn’t true. I wanted you to see it so you wouldn’t get upset.”

“Well thank you,” you said softly. “I appreciate that. I’m sorry I snapped at you. No, you don’t ever have to worry about me caring about dating rumors.”

“Alright. Well, if that changes let me know.”

“I will. Thank you for looking out for me.”

She nodded, turned and left the trailer.

Out of curiosity, you opened your Twitter. And came in the heat and hatred. Some of the comments were sweet like “Oh I’m so happy she’s with someone!”, others were closer to the lines of “Jesus, what a slut. That’s how she got her way to the top.” “Way to sleep your way to stardom.” “So she’s banging the entire Marvel cast?”

You rolled your eyes at all of it. If you were going to survive this business, you couldn’t let negative shit get under your skin like that. Ida texted you.

“Have you seen the media?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m ignoring all that.”

“You might be, but what about Tall and Handsome?” she questioned.

You swallowed. It may have been earlier than you hoped but if you needed to address this, you would.

“I’ll deal with it.”

“Okay.”

Once work was through and when you got home, James texted and asked if you’d like to run lines tomorrow afternoon.

“I’d love to.”

“Great, I’ll bring the wine.”

“It better be expensive ; )”

“Oh, darling, nothing less for you.”

----------------------

The next day, when you got home, you picked up the place, lit some candles, and took a shower. When you got out, Tom was calling.

“Hello?”

“Hi. How’ve you been?” he asked.

“Good. How about you?”

“I’m fine. I haven’t heard much from you since Monday, everything okay?”

You shook your head. “Yeah, of course I am. I just got busy with work is all.”

“Alright. I was a little worried. I saw in the news you and James went out on the town...so…”

“Oh, that was just dinner and drinks after work,” you said, rather happy it wasn’t an entire lie. You felt a little slimey for lying, guilt starting to settle on you but you remembered that you weren’t his property and there was nothing wrong with dating more than one man at a time.

“Well good. I’m glad. My agent said you hadn’t shopped for your dress yet….”

“No, yeah, I will, this weekend.”

“Excellent. Well it’s getting late here so I should go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night.”

“Night.

At 7, James rang the doorbell and you had to remind yourself not to skip to the door. Again, he greeted you with flowers and a bottle of red wine. You took the goods and went into the kitchen and got the flowers in another vase.

“Feel free to make yourself comfortable while I get all of this,” you instructed sweetly.

“Nonsense, I’ve got this.” James came over to your marble island. “Where is your corkscrew?”

You grabbed it out of a drawer and handed it to him. “Would you like some cheese and crackers or anything?”

“No, wine is fine with me,” he said as he uncorked it. You couldn’t believe this. Seven years ago if you would have been told you would have a beautiful home overlooking the hills of Hollywood, a full closet full of Gucci, Prada, Armani, playing in blockbuster films, and dating some of the most eligible bachelors, you would have thought they were crazy.

You grabbed wine glasses and James got to pouring the drinks.

“I, uh, I have something to ask you,” he said tentatively, his eyes barely glancing to you.

“Shoot.”

“I hope I don’t come off...as possessive or anything, but uh...I saw an article that you're maybe...Well that you were seeing someone else.”

“Yeah, I saw that too, but it was just dinner. I just caught up with a friend,” you answered. This may be easier than you thought, surprisingly.  

“Oh good, I was worried,” he informed with a relieved smile and laugh.

“Worried?” you questioned. What could he possibly worry about?

He shrugged as he looked up at you. “Yeah, I thought maybe you weren’t as into me as I thought you were and that would be a huge blow to my ego. You have no idea,” he explained. You giggled.

“Oh is that so? Well fear not, your ego can remain intact and inflated,” you informed with a coy smile. You each grabbed a glass of wine as you went and sat on your gray suede couch.

“Alright, I thought we could try the scene for when they meet?”

“Sure.” You flipped to that part in your script and began reading. “Yeah? Well who the fuck are you?” you said in your character’s voice.

“I’m the fucker who’s going to get you out of here,” he explained.

“Oh yeah? How you gonna do that?”

You two continued to run lines for about thirty minutes before you both began noticing the effects of the wine. The slurring started, and then the giggling started with you two. You began ad libbing the lines.

“You know what we need?” you said.

“What’s that?” James asked, his voice dying down from the laughter.

“We need some reference points.”

“Like what?” he asked, confused.

“Hold on, I'll be right back.” You hopped up and ran to your movie collection in your bedroom. You returned, holding the movie behind your back. “I think we’d really learn a lot from this film,” you said, exposing the movie and as soon as James eyes hit the movie he started to laugh.

“Oh my god, you didn’t,” he said, rolling with laughter. “You think this is funny?”

“I think it’s hilarious, Mr. Thomnas.”

“Oh, god, please don’t put that on,” he begged, but you ignored him and skipped over to your entertainment system.

“Buckle up,” you teased.

“Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?” he asked as he grinned at you.

“Oh, come on. You were great in Narnia! It was the first role I saw you in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll always love this movie for that,” you confessed.

“Alright, but if we’re going to watch a movie, we must do it properly. Do you have popcorn, soda, and candy?”

“Uh...I have popcorn...Maybe a coke or two in the fridge, and a candy bar.”

“Well let’s get it, shall we?”

You two went and gathered the goods, lowered the lights, and started the movie. The entire time, you added commentary all through the movie, and James just laughed as you two subconsciously scooted closer to each other until he made the leap and laced his hand with yours. The sensation made you stiffen but then you relaxed into his form. When the movie ended he suggested another one, one that neither of you were in.

Together, you either marveled at the acting or joked about it. At some point in the night, it became a game to get popcorn in the other’s mouth and after two more glasses of wine, you were dancing in the living room at 1 am to overly loud music. Eventually, you two passed out cold on the couch with you laying on top of James. He woke up before you.

“Y/N, Y/N, wake up,” he quietly coaxed as he shook you gently.

You woke up and he smiled at you.

“Hey sleepy head, I guess we partied hard,” he teased.

You wiped your mouth and sat up, mortified that you were a combination of old clothes, bed head, and morning breath.

“What are you talking about? I can party harder than that. That was like a baby’s nap time compared to what I can do,” you said sleepily. “What time is it?”

“It’s 8,” he informed, glancing to his phone before he rubbed his eyes, his sleepy hair making him so attractive that you would swear he could feel you getting aroused from where he sat on the couch.

“I’m guessing you want to get home,” you said, unable to hide the sadness in your voice.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind some coffee first.”

Your mood lifting, you happily said, “Sure thing. I’ll make us some.”

“Thanks, where’s the bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the left,” you informed, thrusting your chin that way. You made 2 cups of coffee and worked to make yourself presentable again. James emerged and you offered him a cup as he drank it.

“This is really good. Would you like to get lunch later today?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure. I’d love to.”

“Great. I’ll see you around 1?”

“Sounds good.”

He kissed you, morning breath and all and it was the same fiery filled lust you both felt before. He gave you another quick kiss on the cheek and left with a giant grin on his face. Maybe he was remembering the same thing you were - how last night was utterly perfect.

[wellamarke]

top five things to change? Two hard ones: cabin pressure and humans :)

ooooooh thank you!! very hard because y’all know those are my two absolute favourite shows in the whole entire world and i frequently claim that they are pefect, but I will try!!

5 things I would change about Cabin Pressure:

1. Alphabet what now?! I would, obviously, extend it to at LEAST one more series! Its only flaw of note is that it ended :/ 

2. I know that the actors had very minimal rehearsal time and that when recording, they can’t always go over lines for a very tiny slip, and I also know I am overly pedantic, particularly for someone who isn’t particularly eloquent out loud….. but the only person of the main cast who never miss-emphasises a line is John. Cause, you know, he wrote it. Benedict straight up changes the company name to ‘MGN’ more than once in series 4, Carolyn and Douglas both lose the one-syllable game by choosing the two-syllable pronunciation of ‘beer’. And I was listening to Douz today and remembered this, which I cannot unhear now that I’ve noticed it: 

MARTIN: I am the senior pilot on board, Carolyn.
CAROLYN: Yes. But Douglas is the better pilot on board.

why does she inflect pilot and not better? That’s what she’s correcting him on, after all. I adore Stephanie Cole with EVERY FIBRE of my earthly being, and if this was a normal show that she had extensive rehearsal and reshoot time for, they would have got it right, I know. But since we’re picking faults, I’d change that line for sure! 

3. The change in Caitlin’s name, from Cayt-lin to Caht-lin, will always annoy me. I know that it has WOG explanation, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I would have them stick to saying ‘Caytlin’.

4. The timeline! Arthur’s 28 and a half in Boston, and “nearly thirty” in St Petersburg, but when asked, the Finnemore usually claims that the timeline is supposed to run sort of parallel to its broadcast. Somehow, July 2008 to August 2011 - more than 3 years - is condensed into 18 months, and as someone much cleverer than me has worked out, somewhere, this throws out other people’s ages too, and messes with things like the length of time Martin’s worked at MJN. So I’d change Douglas’s line in SP. Or maybe make Arthur 26 and a half in Boston! 
(But outside of this post, my theory is that Arthur understands the word “nearly” to mean “around the general area of”, so he doesn’t correct Douglas - 31 and a half is nearly 30, after all, it’s just after rather than before.) 

5. Although I loved Zurich and thought it was a beautiful end to a beautiful show, it’s forever devastating that Martin leaves. Give me that Air Liechtenstein AU any day of the week. 

Lol, most of these are so petty and tiny, and maybe someone who isn’t me could think of really smart, conceptual improvements to the show as a whole, but…. I…. just really love Cabin Pressure, okay. 

5 things I would change about Humans

(which got a bit long, sorry lol)

1. Obviously, I would put Fred in series 2. At first I wasn’t sure how I would put him in, but I think I would have had Athena trying to fix him/introduce V into his mainframe in the early episodes, despairing and going after the other prototypes when she couldn’t, and then maybe repairing his code with Karen’s help? This would kill two of my series 2 birds with one stone: because one, I really missed Karen interacting with any of the Elsters this year (she literally exchanged one look with Mia, that was it.) and two, I started joking that Athena and Milo’s scenes were actually a crossover into another show, because they interacted almost exclusively with each other (and V) for most of the series. I had an easy time getting to love Renie, Flash and even Hester, because they were so involved in the lives of characters I already loved. In the early episodes, the most connected I felt to Athena was when she went to talk to Hobb, of all people, hehe. So giving her Fred to fix would (a) fix Fred and (b) make Athena feel more part of the show’s core. 

2. Joe and Laura’s interactions with Sophie in the second season. Well, more particularly Joe, since Laura had other niskesque things on her mind. How does Joe not realise specifically that Sophie is mimicking synth behaviour very early on? Instead he talks vaguely about her ‘putting up walls’, when it’s painfully obvious what she’s actually doing. He tries, repeatedly, to talk her out of it in hushed, Serious Tones, rather than trying to engage her properly in childlike activities (although props for the foodfight scene, and maybe the lack of anything similar that went before it is what makes that so affecting). And the most!!! annoying thing!!!! is that in whichever episode it is that Renie comes over (4/5?), they let her answer the door and let Renie inside, like? is it just me? or should they have been at least listening out - just in general when a child answers the door but particularly when a child who’s supposed to be staying away from synths answers the door to -apparently- a synth! Who’s come to visit your son, no less? Like why didn’t they even check what was going on? This is made worse by the fact that when the Ominous Utility Synth of Doom arrives, they’re suddenly all about knowing who’s coming and going. Basically, Joe and Laura are only interested when it’s convenient, when it’s not interrupting their covert whispering about how worried they are about Sophie. Less whispering, more parenting, guys. 

3. I gotta get in one petty intonation point, okay - the way Lindsey Kiwanuka, bless her, says that Vera can do “ten times what the D-series can do” instead of “ten times what the D-series can do”. It just… sounds so wrong, so I would substitute that line for the proper inflection. I don’t know if you’ve noticed haha but I am a person who italicises for emphasis, like, a lot. I speak quite emphatically IRL and I like that to be reflected in anything I write. So I guess I’m quite tuned in to it, and whenever I hear some poor actor botch the inflection of a line, I think to myself “I bet the writer didn’t italicise that properly in the script!” (oops, there I go again). So, yep, that. But kudos for Humans for having very few examples to choose from. I actually can’t think of any others. 

4. Pretty much all the deployment of Odi in series 2, like… need I say anything more, that was just heartbreakingly inadequate. I loved parts of it very much, but it sort of feels like they wasted his character and kind of implicated Mattie (and all of the Hawkinses except Sophie, really) by having them neglect his needs. It’s just sad. Not the kind of tragedy his character provided in series 1, which was art. Just sad sadness. 

5. Above all else, though, I would change the length of each series!! It’s a common complaint that series 2 tried to stretch itself over too many storylines, but honestly I don’t know which one I’d go without, per se - really, I just wanted more of pretty much everything, except Joe, because no. Every plot is intriguing and valid and has amazing points, but they pretty much all suffer from underdevelopment and scarcity of scenes. I feel like the stuff with Hester was very well done, good pacing, excellent development, but she was pretty much the only character I found wholly satisfying as regards her narrative deployment. Everyone else left me wanting explanations, extensions, more of the quiet llittle character moments series 1 was full of. The Hawkinses, for example, seemed like more of a unit in series 1, when they were divided and tense, than they did this year - all spread into their little corners of the plot. Does Mattie even know Renie exists? Does Joe know Odi’s name? Imagine if we had, like, 12 episodes even - I’m not saying go 24 like some American shows, necessarily, though I’d obviously love that - you wouldn’t need to add much plotwise, just give us some breathing space. C’mon. Commission a slightly longer 3rd series, powers that be…… you know it makes sense. 

Thank yooooou this was fun! 

Send me a show and I’ll try and come up with 5 things I’d change