#also got this guy from JoAnn’s

[exasperatedoctopus]

Lookit, baby’s first embroidery:

You may be asking yourself, why are the flowers all the way to the left white and the rest are mixed? It’s cuz I botched my French knots so badly that I ran out of the white thread in the kit and had to improvise

[asterdeer]

1 sentence horror story: “‘I like hand sewing better than machine sewing,’ the quilter with chronically shaky hands and hypermobile fingers realized”

[tj-crochets]

Yesterday I thought I was having alarming new health symptoms while running some errands, got home, and realized that I was just having an allergic reaction to something and apparently sitting in a car in the dark with a whole bunch of bright lights going by everywhere (headlights, street lamps, signs, etc) makes the light sensitive part of the migraine hit a lot harder and a lot faster lol I am pretty much okay now but idk if I will be making anything today 

[gingersxng]

Inappropriate Touching

Pairing: f!reader x Seonghwa x Yunho x Mingi x San

Genre: smut 18+

Summary: walking down the hallways on your new exciting job you came across a group of young handsome actors.. but it soon turns out acting and reality isn’t that far away from each other.

Notes: sub!reader, rough doms! Yunho, Mingi, San, Seonghwa, reader is a virgin, the boys are big perverts!!! ,they have no self control, much inappropriate touching!!!(which is not ok irl), adult movies, pet names (sweetheart, doll, darling, love, kitten, honey), groping, kissing, some cursing, fingering, oral (f receiving), licking, spitting, cum cum cum, cum eating, threesome, foursome, mentions of masturbation, dirty comments, unprotected sex (always be safe),rough sex, public sex, big dick yungi, marking (hickeys, bite marks), breeding, double penetration, slight bulge kink, recording. forgot something? maybe

Words: 3.7k

it was your first day at your new job at the movie studio. it’s been a life long dream of yours to get to work with big movie stars and now you were finally standing outside the big doors. as you looked up at the sign of the big building you took a deep breath before finally heading inside to get started.

you felt like a child in a candy store watching all the pictures on the walls of famous actors and actresses. you were soon greeted by a young woman maybe a few years older than you, she was looking so professional with a black jumpsuit, black glasses and red long hair in a big bun.

“hi are you the new assistant?” she asked softly. “yes i am, I’m y/n” you said as you shaked her hand. “I’m Joanne, I’m gonna show you around a bit to make it a little easier for you” a smile formed on your face. she showed you all different sets from both new and old movies, you had also met many movie stars and staff while you walked around the big halls. you were coming to your final part of your little “tour” when Joanne stopped dragging you to the side.

“we have to be quiet cause they’re in the middle of rehearsals”. she whispered, didn’t sound as she cared to much. you didn’t really understand what kind of movie they were making but there were four men dressed roughly in suits, black ties and some of them had smeared lipstick on their mouths. a woman later appeared around the men and you finally got an answer on your early movie question. you felt yourself blush as you observed what they did to that woman, eyes wide. “c’mon let’s go, I’ll show you your room” she grabbed your arm and dragged you with her. it was kinda quiet down the hallways to your room and so were you. Joanne finally broke the ice. “I probably should give you a small warning but you have to keep this to yourself, okay?” she said with a half worried look on her face. “alright I promise” you suddenly got anxious.

you stopped outside the door to your room. “don’t be too sweet towards those guys back there, they can get a little too friendly if you know what I mean” she whispered so no one but you could hear her. your eyes widened not believing what she was saying, they were just acting.. wasn’t they? “I don’t wanna scare you or anything but it’s better to warn you if you would bump into one of them”. you found yourself speechless and your thoughts went all over the place, first day at your new job and now you should watch out for creeps?

“they didn’t look old tho” you suddenly said. “no, as I saw on your CV they’re two and three years older than you” your eyes widened once again. she was about to say something but were interrupted by footsteps coming your way and by the sound of the voices it was them, well two of them. your heart pumped hard in your chest watching as they came closer.

“looking good today Jo” one of them blurted out giving Joanne a wink. the taller guy got very close to her while a smirk appeared on his face “your ass looks great in this suit too” he said as he gave her ass a squeeze. you literally couldn’t believe what you were witnessing and she just let them do this to her. they were soon turning their attention to you, fuck.

“what do we have here huh?” the tall one said looking you up and down. he was so tall but actually very good looking, you started to blush and that’s just what they wanted you to.. “it’s our new assistant y/n and it’s her first day so keep your hands to yourself Yunho!” Joanne snapped. he guided his hand through his hair and let out a deep chuckle, omg! “nice to meet you y/n” both of them greeted you. you gave them a small smile and crossed your arms so your cleavage got more visible and that was a big mistake. their eyes acted like magnets, getting dragged to your breasts. you knew she’d given you a warning but there was something about them giving you all this attention that made you excited.

“damn looks like a juicy one” the other guy laughed as he eyed his tall friend. Yunho let out a quiet laugh as he looked you straight into your eyes, his smile dropping fast. he took a step closer to you and got interrupted by your friend. “alright, she’s not interested in you two” she said trying to get them to leave. actually you were beginning to get a little bit interested in them but maybe it was best to keep that to yourself. Yunho gave your ass a light slap as he passed you with a smirking grin on his face. the other man reached out his hand brushing it against your stomach and up to your breasts, he stuck his tongue out and gave you a wink. “Seonghwa!! you pervert!” Jo slapped him on the shoulder.

they had finally got out of sight and you could finally let out a deep breath trying to take in everything that happened in the last 10 minutes. “I’m so sorry y/n but this is something you should get used to if you’re gonna work here” she told you looking really pissed off by the boy’s behaviour against you. you couldn’t help but smile a little, “it’s alright”. she finally left you alone and you got into your room to get some rest. it didn’t take many minutes before you were interrupted by a knock on your door, you got up and peeped out trough the little window to see another tall guy standing outside. you opened and were greeted with a smile from the big guy. “hey sweetheart, I’m Mingi” his voice were deep and vibrated right through you. you didn’t get a chance to introduce yourself before he grabbed your arms and pushed you further into your room. his actions took you by surprise and you let out a scream. Mingi hurried to put his hand on your mouth to drown your screams, when you finally got quiet he pulled his hand away letting out a chuckle when he saw the scared expression on your face.

“what are you doing!!” you almost cried out looking up at the big boy. he pushed you down onto your desk and grabbed your chin. “my friends told me about the new sexy assistant and I thought I should see if it was true.. and fuck you are gorgeous” he said squeezing your cheeks. you could feel how your thighs began to push together and how your cheeks started to heat up. Mingi brought his head to your neck starting to place sloppy kisses along it up to your ear, his hands working their way to your ass. you really hoped no one would walk in on you making out with one of the “creeps”, even if this was very wrong you didn’t do anything to stop it.

Mingi slipped his hands inside your pants grabbing a handful of your naked ass. small moans left your mouth, your hands went straight to his hair and he let out a deep groan. “you like this huh?” Mingi whispered as he pulled your jeans off you. “yes” you whispered back. he pushed you down onto your back and separated your legs exposing your clothed core to him, your panties were off you in a flash and your hole were stuffed with two of his fingers. Mingi put his mouth on your clit rolling his tongue over the sensitive nub, your back arched at the new pleasure. “you taste so good” he growled against your clit. he added a third finger and fastened his pace on your clit making a moaning mess out of you.

“here you are!!” Seonghwa bursted into your room, his eyes darkened as soon as he saw the position you were in. you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed having your bare pussy on display in front of the new man. “I see you’ve met the pussy eater” Seonghwa pushed Mingis head down harder on your pussy receiving moans from both of you. Mingi pulled away his slime covered face from your core. “says the guy who puts his hands down women’s tops” Mingi glared at the older man. “I can’t help it” Seonghwa threw a bitter look at him, he walked over to you and slid his hands inside your top and bra grabbing your firm breasts. he looked down at your pleasure filled face, he got closer to your face and attacked your lips kissing you upside down. it was messy and hot and you could feel how you got closer to your release. Seonghwa broke the kiss and squeezed your boobs hard making you squeak. “open your mouth kitten” you did as he said and watched as he gathered some saliva that he spit down into your mouth, you swallowed it and once again he was back kissing you.

Mingi was biting your clit sending electric waves up to your brain. he felt how your pussy clenched around his fingers and he curved them to hit the spongy spot inside you making you see white. your breath hitched in your throat and you moaned into Seonghwas mouth when you came onto Mingis fingers. both of them laughed at you when they saw how fucked out you looked. Mingi licked up all the cum from your hole. “sorry but we have to go back to the set kitten, believe me I’d rather fuck you than that bitch” Seonghwa grunted pushing his face in between your breasts licking a stripe along your cleavage. Mingi stole your panties sneaking them into his pocket and gave your pussy a quick kiss before they left.

- next day -

you had some free time so you were strolling through the building sneaking in to watch some movies in the making. a hand brushed against your ass and you quickly turned around to see yet another new face. the man scanned your body taking you all in, he leaned forward and brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “enjoying yourself kitten?” you gulped and straightened yourself up feeling how your legs began to weaken. “y-yes I do” you fumbled not knowing were to look. an amusing look painted his face when he saw the affect he had on you. he took your hand and brought you with him to their movie set, the grip he had on your hand were firm to keep you from running away if you wanted to.

they were in the middle of a break so they had some time for you. the three other men sat down in a big round sofa that was down in a dark corner, the handsome muscular man pulled you with him. their eyes lit up as soon as you got in their sight, you blushed hard and began to bite the nail on your thumb, it really made you look innocent.

“look who I found standing all alone in the halls” the man pushed you forward so you stood in front of the other three. you could see how they were undressing you with their eyes and by the tents in their pants, they really liked what they saw. Yunho grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on his lap, you shivered at the feeling of his erection poking at your ass. he tugged at your skirt and caressed your soft thighs watching as goosebumps appeared. he put his mouth to your ear and whispered “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since yesterday, maybe I could get a pic of that sweet ass if yours huh?”. his words went straight to your pussy, feeling how you got wetter by the second. “why would you want that?” you said innocently looking him in the eyes knowing exactly why he wanted it. Yunho raised an eyebrow and dug his fingers into the flesh of your ass “so I have something to watch as I’m playing with my dick” the guy chuckled. the other guys laughed at his comment. you were stuck between these four men and your mind started to run wild the more they showed how much they wanted to use you.

“do you have a boyfriend doll?” Mingi slipped out. you shook your head and the look on his face turned devilish, you pushed your thighs together more. “are you a virgin?” Yunho asked pulling your skirt up slowly waiting for an answer. you stayed quiet for a few seconds looking around at the men. “yeah, I am” your voice dropped and you felt so embarrassed. something in them snapped and suddenly they seemed hornier than ever. Seonghwa stuck his hand down your top to… dang he got interrupted. you got company by a known friend, it was Jo. she was looking for you and couldn’t believe she would find you here of all places. “what are you doing here y/n?” she was surprised to see you sitting in Yunhos lap with Seonghwas hand down your top. “I’m working..” was the first thing you could think of. Seonghwa fought the urge to pull out your breasts from your top, he usually didn’t have much self control but for your sake he made an exception. “you guys are sick” she said before she finally left.

Seonghwa couldn’t hold it in anymore and pulled out your boobs from your bra, his mouth watered at the sight of your hardened red nipples, he brushed his thumb over them and you let out a small whimper. Yunho lifted you up and handed you over to San, the big man squeezed you against his chest. “don’t move doll, my grip will only get tighter” he bucked his hips up against your ass, his clothed hardness poking you right between your cheeks. Yunho unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants enough for his massive cock to spring free standing up against his stomach. the sight was making your arousal drip down your inner thighs and you crossed your legs standing in Sans embrace. Yunho patted his thigh signaling San to release you. “come sit love” he held a hand out to you. you walked over to the tall man, he turned you around back facing him while pulling up your skirt. the lack of underwear made him groan “no panties huh? what a good girl, all ready for us to abuse” his deep voice almost breaking you.

San slid his fingers through your folds, your arousal was smeared out on your inner thighs and he could slip in two fingers with ease, after feeling how tight you were he pulled them out again turning to the tall guy. “she’s so tight you’re gonna split her in half with your monster cock” Sans words brought a worried look to your face. Yunho slapped your ass “we don’t use condoms btw, hope that’s alright with you love?” you nodded and with that he sunk you down on his big cock, the wetness made it almost too easy for him to bottom out. it was a long moan that left your lips as you felt your pussy being stretched to the max. as Yunho were bouncing you up and down his dick San was attacking your lips and Seonghwa had got dibs on your breasts marking them as his own. it felt like you were in some kind of erotic dream, they dragged out moans and whimpers out of you leaving you a fucking mess.

Mingi had pulled out his cock too, he spat in his hand and pumped his length a few times. he got up from the sofa and pushed the other two out of the way, he pushed your back against Yunhos chest and positioned himself onto you bringing his cock to your already stuffed hole. “it won’t fit idiot” San mocked the man. “I’ll make it fit” Mingi pushed the tip into your pussy making you scream, tears falling down your cheeks. Yunho pulled out a bit for Mingi to fit better, he then dried your tears with his thumb. Yunho and Mingi occupied each side of your neck while they pumped their massive dicks into your gushy hole. “fuck I swear it feels a thousand times better when she’s a virgin” Mingi groaned into your ear. a familiar feeling appeared in your stomach and it got worse with each of their thrusts. Mingi pushed your knees up to your chest getting better and deeper access, the bulge on your stomach drove him crazy. “I’m gonna cum” Yunho warned. “are you gonna let us breed you honey? let us knock you up” he growled as his thrusts got faster. being all over the place you couldn’t get a single word out but you nodded and moaned in response, your mouth hung open.

“knock her up already we’re getting impatient here” Seonghwa whined as he palmed his cock through his pants. a couple more thrusts and both men released their big loads deep inside you, their hair had gotten more messy and they had beads of sweat dripping down their foreheads. the cum were seeping out between their cocks, they pulled out and laid you down onto your back. Yunho pushed the cum back inside your abused pussy, a proud smirk forming on his face. “in a few months we want to see this pretty belly of yours grow darling” Mingi teased you, he took a handful of your little belly fat and squeezed it.

San was quick to swap places with Yunho, impatiently he pulled out his leaking cock and towered over your half naked form. he slid the tip in slowly until he was fully seated pushing both Mingis and Yunhos cum further inside you, his pace quickened fast and his hold onto your sides grew harder. “fuuck, this little pussy of yours is driving me insane” San growled, his feline eyes pierced holes through you. his mouth assaulted your sore nipples while he slammed his hips against yours with all the strength he had. you began to cry and your whole body started to hurt. Seonghwa kissed you harshly and wiped your tears away, he moved down to your neck sucking on the flesh leaving purple marks. “don’t cry honey we’ll take care of you” he purred.

you could feel Sans cock twitch, he buried his dick deep inside you letting his release paint your walls white, he stayed like that for a while not wanting any cum to go to waste. the thought of knocking you up made his brain malfunction. San pushed down his hand on your lower stomach to feel how deep he was, with a groan he finally pulled out.

Seonghwa helped you up and sunk you down on his dick. you swung your arms around his neck and buried your face in it, he helped moving your hips up and down his length since your body started to give out. each time his cock brushed against your cervix you were one step closer to your awaited orgasm. “mmh it feels so good” you whispered softly in his pierced ear. Seonghwa took his time with you and wasn’t as rough as the others, not yet anyway. he stilled his movements, you looked him in the eyes with a questioning look wondering why he stopped. a smirk appeared on his face and he turned his gaze to someone else. a pair of strong arms lifted you up on your wobbly legs and Seonghwa followed. “ready to get double stuffed again kitten?” you heard Sans voice behind you, his breath tingled against your ear and it almost made you cum on the spot. you were now sandwiched between the two men, uplifted in their arms. they both placed their tips to your entrance, it was no problem to slide in their hard cocks from all the cum and your insane amount of arousal, plus you got stretched out good a couple minutes ago by two monster cocks. they synced their thrusts as they slammed up into your sensitive core, your high pitched moans was music to their ears. the knot was building up in your stomach and you were so close now, Sans hand toyed with your swollen clit whilst Seonghwa had his fun with your nipples making your eyes turn white.

Seonghwa kissed your collarbone and cooed “cum for us now love”. San bucked up his hips and groped your ass hard, he left a bite mark on your shoulder making you cry out quietly. a few seconds later your orgasm hit you and your whole body turned to jelly, not long after you felt a hot big wave of cum entering you. deep groans left their filthy mouths as they emptied themselves deep inside you. “good girl” San said huskily as he pulled out.

after they’d both pulled out Mingi gave you your panties back that he stole from you yesterday on his little visit. you gave him a tired smile and put them on you. “I should probably go and get some rest” you said as you put your boobs inside your top again. “need some company?” Mingi asked with a nasty smirk on his face. Yunho slapped the big man on his arm “as tempting as it sounds I actually think we should let her rest for a while, she’ll need it” he smiled at you. they gave you small kisses on your face before you headed back to your room.

“she’s a keeper” Mingi said watching as your ass bounced with every step you took. Yunho groaned and placed himself on the sofa again, he took out his phone and let out a light chuckle. “did you get it all?” San asked. “oh yeah I did”

[the-gimmick-archive]

Pinned post. (Will update.)

This is a shared blog made to archive important things that happen in the gimmickverse.

The current mods are: @justazebra (admin), @i-dont-know-how-to-name-this.

If we make a mistake, please tell us.

Please @ us if you see an important event happen, especially wars.

Send us an ask if you want to know about a certain event, we’ll do our best to find it.

If you have the link to something important that we didn't archive yet (especially if it happened before this blog started existing), please send it to us.

Shadowban Survival Guide

(scroll down on the guide)

List of arcs and events:

The color war:

Earliest point in the arc we could find. The purple revolution begins. Green joins the revolution.

That time when figuratively everyone got possessed:

Earliest point in the arc we could find.

The UwU revolution:

Earliest point in the arc we could find.

Sealand dying and being revived:

Death. Revival. Death again, but this time they become death's assistant.

IKEA-Party City War:

Earliest point in the arc.

Goose god vs. Waste management war:

Earliest point. Waste management also declaring war. Goose god and waste management making an alliance to stop @/france-unofficial from attacking bean and making Bean sad.

New Zealand vs. Australia war:

Earliest point. New Zealand changing targets to England instead.

Bean getting kidnapped:

Earliest point.

Bean getting kidnapped again (by gimmick nose thief this time.):

Earliest point. Waste management selling their soul so they can see bean again. Molossia scratching and paralyzing Sealand. Sealand getting their souls stolen by gimmick nose thief.

List of gimmick blogs (copied from @/gimmick-simp, @/antarcitica-official, and @/celestial-same-picverse, and then added some missing ones):

@totally-official-gmail @totally-amazon @pizza-hut-official @spotify-official @truly-jcjenson

@bigbasket-notreally @discorddotcum-official @homedepot @im-pandora-i-promise @femboy-totally-bing

@kahoot-official @100percent-shell-oil @assistant-to-the-shell @truly-bath-and-body-works @definitely-tiktok-trust

@unofficially-joann-fabric @its-sanrio-official @the-real-gmail @apple-unofficial @jack-in-the-box-official

@official-arbys @officialtinder @realgoogleslides @reallytimhortons @officially-ikea

@claires-unofficial @barnes-and-noble-official @realgoogleclassroom @real-sephora @pizza-hut-unofficial

@google-news-official @totally-official-gmail @bingle-official @basically-bumble @def-bjs-guys

@official-opera-gx @official-firefox-nightly @the-mcdonalds @realgoogledocs @mcdonalds-official

@totally-bing @operagxreal @official-fedex @firehouse-subs-fr @k-f-c-official

@the-real-google @totally-ikea @taco-bell-unofficial @spotify-kids-real @the-real-victorias-secret

@subway-official @big-mayo-official @/realsafari @incognito-mode-official @burgerking-official

@definitely-wikipedia @the-one-and-only-pornhub @the-one-and-only-duckduckgo @its-target-official @yes-im-youtube-kids

@walmart-the-official @duothelingo @firefox-official @femboy-hooters-real @fedex-official

@yamaha-official @youtubefr @actually-x @reality-official

@femboy-google-news-official @50percent-shell-oil @yahooo-official @totally-airbus @the-official-spirit-airlines

@100percent-chipotle @unofficialvine

@totally-brazil @totally-italy @very-real-australia @the-province-of-nova-scotia-real @official-new-zealand

@russia-totallyofficial @quebec-official @india-official @india-reblogs @telangana-official

@denmark-official @pakistan-official @definitely-brasil @non-tyrannical-usa @antarcitica-official

@spain-unofficial @definitely-canada @france-unofficial @the-state-of-georgia-official @official-denmark

@denmark-forreal @official-ireland @texas-real @massachusetts-official @new-york-for-real

@definitelytherepublicofireland @true-blue-straya @totally-germany @official-the-united-states @totally-france

@forever-scotland @germany-official @sovereign-state-of-alaska @guatemala-official @republic-of-molossia

@actually-alberta @the-principality-of-sealand @totally-oregon @yugoslavia-official

@the-chill-planet-uranus @the-serene-moon-luna @earth-fan @deimos-moon-of-terror @officially-capricorn

@the-radiant-sun @the-ringed-planet-saturn @the-red-planet-mars @the-real-uranus @celestial-same-picverse

@officially-taurus @the-lovely-planet-earth @posts-with-10000-notes-in-spirit @/i-hesitantly-say-ok

@i-say-not-ok @i-say-ok @the-us-navy-offical

@woo-in-different-lengths @official-garlic-bread @shakespeare-official-reblogs @gimmick-thief @hold-my-dr-pepper

@oscar-wilde-official-account @the-real-illinois @i-say-grape @the-kingdom-of-norway @denmarklandia-official

@i-say-bean @sweden-official @antarcitica-official @gimmick-nose-thief @gimmick-thief-thief

@tamil-nadu-official @tamilnadu-official @anti-totally-bing @antiquitian-empire @rocks-anon

@tagswoman @actual-aspec-military @pansexual-spaceforce @the-aplatonic-cavalry @the-pointing-anon

@bi-poly-space-station @bisexual-airforce @aro-sp-ace-force @nonbinary-coastguard @demi-demolitions

@queer-military-authorities @queer-military-treasury @the-missiles-guy @the-official-goose-god @the-official-gemini

@actual-transgender-navy @genderfluid-marine-corp @real-australian-army @real-hottopic

@same-pic-of-venus-everyday @same-pic-of-the-earth-everyday @same-pic-of-the-moon-everyday @same-pic-of-mars-everyday @same-pic-of-jupiter-everyday

@same-pic-of-saturn-everyday @the-real-uranus @same-pic-of-neptune-everyday @steve-not-anon @metal-frisbee

@earth-fan @not-10-salmon-in-a-png @same-pic-of-halleys-comet @same-pic-of-callisto-everyday @same-pic-of-eris-everyday @same-pic-of-kepler-186f-everyday

@same-pic-of-haumea-everyday @same-image-of-7-iris @book-nonsie-not-anon @celestial-same-picverse @same-pic-of-pluto-everyday

@same-pic-of-juno-everyday @same-pic-of-polaris-everyday @tomblrmartian @same-pic-of-a-blackhole-everyday @same-pic-of-the-stars-everyday

@alpha-centauri-everyday @same-cosmic-cliffs-pic-every-day @rose-nebula-always @same-pic-of-makemake-everyday @same-picture-of-europa

@same-pic-of-the-lagoon-nebula @star-that-eats-the-sun @jupiter-fan

@same-pic-of-triton-everyday @pq-anon @same-pic-of-ceres-everyday @same-pic-of-wolftopia-everyday

@same-pic-of-mars-everyday @same-pic-of-tres2b-everyday @samepicofthewowsignaleveryday @same-pic-of-the-blue-moon @same-image-of-hr8799e-every-day

@samepictureofsednadaily @moon-of-fear-phobos @totally-neptune-official @corvus-the-constellation @official-nissan

@hollowknight-reference @microsoft-edge-official @arethosewordsinthebible @the-gimmick-doctor @i-say-doot-doot

@i-say-ok @discord-marriage-bot-real @literally-leo @literally-luxembourg

@/same-pic-of-a-dictionary-daily @/same-pic-of-mercury-everyday @/hateful-daystar @//court-artist-under-the-stars @/samepicofproximacentaurieveryday @/same-pic-of-the-sun-everyday @/same-pic-of-the-blood-moon @/same-pic-of-uranus-everyday @/same-pic-of-venus-every-day @/same-pic-of-trans-jupiter @/ton-618-real @/same-pic-of-alpha-centaur-24-7 @/same-pic-of-andromeda-everyday @/same-pic-of-a-bagel-everyday @/same-pic-of-titan-every-day

@putting-iris-in-places @communist-usa-real

(Sorry if you didn't want to get tagged.)

[thegreatwizardelwin]

I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Part Three

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanne Harcourt x Male Reader

F/N L/N is a student in the Sapphire Owl house at Weston College. For some reason, he keeps running into a Scarlet Fox student in his day to day activities. Intrigued, he tries to learn more about him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was incredible to be a part of the Sapphire Miracle. 

You had been selected to participate for your house in the Weston cricket tournament. By calculations, strategy, sacrifice, and a touch of sheer dumb luck, the Sapphire Owl team rose to victory for the second time in Weston’s history. 

Things had quieted down since then…

Though you were currently being coddled by your family whilst also climbing- soaking wet- out of the water post-capsize. 

After a change of clothes, you and the team attended the closing ceremony.

You were congratulated by many of your family and friends, sipping lemonade and speaking with other visitors. Moore was ecstatic to introduce you to his own family, especially (wink) his sister; much to your dismay. But, as you talked, you found her company pleasant enough to consider her as friend material. 

At your age, it seemed that many boys were enjoying the presence of other respectable ladies. You noticed Harcourt dancing with one of them joyfully. He laughed at something she said, his face lighting up as you’d seen it do countless times.

A pang of jealousy hit you as you watched, feeling a certain hostility toward the girl. It only reminded you of how silly your affection really was. You were both boys, and you could never dance with him like that. 

Honestly, it was unfair for you to be upset about something so unchangeable. 

You convinced yourself to be happy for him. 

Perhaps they’d keep it up and one day you’d attend their…

You sighed, disrupting your own train of thoughts because of how disgruntled it made you. You would just learn to accept this, even if it took some time.

Moore’s sister found you again and noticed your expression was troubled.

“Is something the matter?” she asked.

“No, just a little tired.” you perked up, raising your cup to your lips.

“Oh, tired, I see.” 

You stood in silence, awkwardly watching others dance. You wondered if she wanted you to ask her to dance too, what with the way she idled beside you. 

It would clear my mind if I did… 

So, being the gentleman you were, you offered her the opportunity and she accepted.

You danced with Moore’s sister, her name being Theresa. By sheer accident, you nearly bumped into Harcourt and his partner. You looked at each other with surprise and laughed blissfully at the fact.

The night grew to a close, your mood having sincerely improved by the fun you had had.

You bid your farewells to your family and Theresa and then made your way back to the dormitory like the rest of the boys.

You walked down the halls of the school, chattering away with Moore and Blair.

As you got closer to the dorm, one of the boys poked your arm and gestured towards a figure waiting near the gates of the boarding house grounds.

It was Joanne Harcourt. He was still dressed in his clothes from earlier, fiddling with the boater hat in his hands.

Blair snickered.

“Finally gave in to your secret admirer, huh?” he elbowed you.

You gave him a threatening smile.

“Stop it!” you whispered, smacking his head. 

However you couldn’t just ignore the guy. You diverged from the group. They lowered their voices, muttering on about how close you and Harcourt had become for students in different houses.

Harcourt gave you a shy smile as you approached. You took your own hat off to be polite, tucking it under your arm. You kind of just stared at each other until the other boys were out of earshot.

“I’m really glad you won, L/N.” Harcourt said softly.

You laughed.

“I’m sorry about your teams… unfortunate circumstances. From what I did see, your spin balls were fantastic. I was super impressed!” you enthused. 

Harcourt blushed slightly with embarrassment at the memories of the “unfortunate circumstances” that befell his entire house on the field.

“Please don’t bring it up- ever again.” he hid his face in his palms. “A part of me died in that moment.”

You had to cover your mouth to stifle another laugh. You didn’t want to offend him by suggesting his miserable situation was humorous.

“I understand.” you replied, and then decided to change the subject. “I noticed you had a nice lass hanging on your arm tonight! I would’ve never thought you’d be such a charmer.” you teased.

Harcourt was amused.

“Well I noticed,” he paused, “that you didn’t seem very taken by the girl you danced with.”

You thought for a moment on how to respond. The reason why you had shown such indifference was too secret for Harcourt to know just yet. And it was certainly not something you were going to say outside, even if it was after dark. 

“I see women more as friends, right now. I prefer to focus on my other passions.” you said with a shrug. “What about you? Do you like them or are you just being a gentleman?”

That question caught Harcourt off guard. He froze up a bit, as if he were truly analyzing his own feelings.

“I- forgive me, L/N. I don’t mean to be rude. It’s getting late, I should go back to Scarlet Fox house.” he spilled, putting his hat back on.

Your face fell.

“Right, I suppose you should.” you muttered.

You both stood awkwardly, staring at each other as if you had forgotten the words “good night” existed. He glanced over at the walkway that would take him to his boarding house, then met your eyes once more. He bit his lip with uncertainty.

You straightened up.

“I feel bad that I couldn’t help you earlier.” you admitted. “I felt terrible just standing there on the field like I had grass for brains.”

Harcourt flushed again, crossing his arms.

“I told you not to bring it up again! Besides, if you were there with me I would have disintegrated completely. It was so embarrassing.” 

Taking a step forward, you clasped your hands behind your back.

“I know, but I… I want to help you!” you stressed. “ I just want you to be happy, Harcourt. You deserve it, in my book.”

Harcourt’s eyes shot to the ground. He seemed to relax a bit, taking a deep breath.

“Thank you, L/N. You’re kind.”

You reached over and playfully pulled his hat down over his eyes. He giggled, lifting the brim and peering at you. His smile could melt a glacier with how warm it made you feel.

Your eyes softened, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Your fingers lingered there against his warm skin. He was clearly flustered by it. He reached up and held onto your wrist with both hands.

“If someone were to see us right now…” he trailed off nervously.

You slowly lowered your arm, your index finger curling around his in a promise.

“Until next time.” you murmured, bending and kissing his knuckle.

His jaw dropped, staring at you like he was a deer and you had stepped on a twig. There was a beat of silence as you let his hand go.

“You really just- you really- ? I’ll see you around!” he said quickly, shrinking away from you and hastening away with not another word.

You turned, heading into your dorm. As you entered the building, it was like the air around you was thin. What possessed you to do that? Didn’t you literally just say to yourself you were going to let it go? And what did his reaction mean?

Your smile faltered.

I might have just ruined our relationship with that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like every part of this fic ends with Harcourt running off like a little gerbil or something.

Planning on maybe 2 more parts of Joanne? I wanna write a maurice cole fic where the reader is just as ✨devious✨ 🌺

[poppletonink]

Best Quotes From 'Red, White and Royal Blue'

"David," Alex says. "He's a beagle. I remember because, like, who does that? Who names a dog David? He sounds like a tax attorney. Like a dog tax attorney."

"Christ, you're as thick as it gets," he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.

“I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.” (I know this one isn't technically in the latest version of the book, but it was there when I first read it and I miss it.)

"First you've been, like, Draco Malfoy-level obsessed with Henry for years"

"The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?"

"Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a cliff."

"Your hair in the mornings is truly a wonder to behold," is how he breaks the silence.

"I needed a run," he says. "To clear my head a bit, figure out... what's next. Very Mr. Darcy brooding at Pemberley."

Alex sighs. "I don't think I told you, but she, uh. Well, when she fired me, she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent sure about you, I needed to break things off." Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear, "A thousand percent?" "Yeah, don't let it go to your head."

"I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark," Alex tells him. "And also a statue."

"At cruising altitude, he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. They clink together gently as he ticks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side."

"So," she says. "Do you feel forever about him?" And there's no room left to agonize over it, nothing left to do but say the thing he's known all along. "Yeah," he says, "I do."

"He hates himself, but he doesn't regret anything, and maybe that makes him a bad person and a worse politician, but he doesn't regret Henry."

"Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend." "No, I'm not." "Zahra, you're my mean friend." "Am not."

"But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose."

"I've been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Phillip."

"It's a mural of himself and Henry, facing each other, haloed by a bright yellow sun, depicted as Han and Leia. Henry in all white, starlight in his hair. Alex dressed as a scruffy smuggler, a blaster at his hip. A royal and a rebel, arms around each other. He snaps a photo on his phone, and fingers shaking, types out a tweet: Never tell me the odds."

"When the car door opens, it's June, standing there in a bright yellow T-shirt that says: HISTORY, HUH? "You like it?" she says. "There's a guy selling them down the block. I got his card. Gonna put it in my next column for Vogue."

“So, what?” he asks. “You want me to quit politics and go become a princess? That’s not very feminist of you.” “That’s not how feminism works,” she says, rolling her eyes.

"I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us."

"History, huh? Bet we could make some."

[softknightt]

I saw a post here where someone thought that Bobby's friends are nice, and that's totally okay because Company is a musical very open to interpretation. But I can't agree at all. Like, I wouldn't say that they are horrible friends, but at the same time, I think they care about Bobby because of the stuff Bobby does for them. Just bear with me.

In the song "What Would We Do Without You?", Bobby's friends list all the reasons they like to have Bobby around: Someone to talk to, someone who brings them flowers, helps them when they are sick, helps with the kids, etc. Basically, someone who is safe and is ALWAYS THERE for everything. But them you get the the end of the song, and nobody plays their instruments when Bobby's play his Kazzo.

Okay, they were playing in pairs, but at least all of them could have played their instruments. It would be a reminder that, despite Bobby not being in a relationship, they are there for him. BUT THEY DIDN'T. This, in my mind, indicates that while Bobby is there for them (which we see throughout the musical in different scenes), they aren't there for him, and he is alone.

Then, in general, throughout the entire play, the characters try to live through Bobby because Bobby represents the pleasure of the single life they don't have anymore. In "Have I Got a Girl For You" Bobby's male friends talk about what THEY would want in a girl, they try to introduce Bobby to girls THEY fantasize about, but can't have because they are in a relationship already. Also, in different parts, the male characters show some sort of envy bc Bobby is single.

The woman in the play projects a lot on Bobby. In "Poor Baby" they think of Bobby as someone completely alone without THEM to take care of him, they baby him, but not in a good way. They say he HAS to have a woman, but in the same song, they seem to think that the girls Bobby goes out with aren't good enough for him. It's almost like they are jealous of the woman he goes out with, bc they see Bobby as "their pet" or think of Bobby as "they guy they wanted their husbands to be like".

All of them opine a lot about Bobby's life. Sometimes they think Bobby should be alone, and not marry. Other times they say Bobby should marry. It's their opinion, but the opinion they give doesn't come from a place of "thinking about Bobby", they come from a place of "projecting their want/thoughts of the moment". Despite being the main character in the play, Bobby is just a side character in their narrative.

Then, we have being alive, and Bobby hiding from his friends/not showing up at his birthday. I think his fight with Joanne, and the fact that she wanted to cheat her husband with Bobby, but not really divorce opened his eyes to the fact that she (and all his friends) has been using him to compensate for something in their marriages (like the alcoholic friend wanting Bobby to drink, or his wife who is in a diet wanting Bobby to eat bc she can't, and so on).

I think that fight also got him to realize that he wanted someone to take care of/to take care of him, and understand the dichotomy of a relationship (which he has been observing throughout the play). Joanne made him stop creating unreal expectations about relationships, she kicked the door and got Bobby to look at the ugly parts of a relationship as much as the good ones. So, in being alive, he admits the truth to himself and opens himself up to the possibility of being hurt by a relationship and, becomes alive bc of it.

BUT he didn't show up at his surprise party when his friends were there, and he FUCKING SMILED when he was alone. So, what I gather, is that Bobby also realizes that whatever decision he makes regarding relationships (being alone or not), he has to stop trying to attend to his friend's expectations or wishes for him. And he has to make his own decision, without caring about what they think about it because it's his LIFE, and not THEIRS. And he can't live FOR THEM.

Anyway, so that' why I don't think they are very good friends. They aren't bad, either. They are just too caught up in their lives, and they end up projecting on Bobby and making things even more difficult for him simply because they do not understand Bobby, but they seem to believe they know what is best for him or what he wants (which changes throughout the play).

[nace-maisel]

People keep comparing Nobody Wants This and Fleabag and like, on the surface, I get it. Priest, Rabbi, and chaotic girls that we love, okay.

However, as much as Noah and Joanne gave me the buzz and their angsty moment in the last episode hit, it can never ever hit as hard as fleabag.

Mainly because, in fleabag we get to see that the Hot Priest™️ loves his faith and his role in the church. It saved him from his family, it gave him direction, that life has meaning and makes sense for him. And at the same time, he falters. He’s a little bit of an alcoholic, he has doubts, a fox follows him around. That tension is what makes him deciding to have sex with fleabag logical, but also him ultimately choosing god a choice that makes all the sense in the world. That is his whole worldview, and as much as he loves fleabag, he can’t give that up so easily.

Noah in Nobody Wants This has none of that. Most of the show we focus on what an amazing guy he is and how much he loves being a Rabbi and how deeply connected he is to Judaism. The show is more about Joanne struggling with finding a “good guy” and trying her hardest to be perfect for him, and ultimately deciding that it is too much pressure. That bit makes sense. But Noah choosing her over Head Rabbi? That makes no narrative sense. We never see him struggling with his faith, not even with the role of a Rabbi. Every time we see that he enjoys it so much and that it goes deeeeeep and is basically who he is as a person.

Him choosing Joanne makes no sense. What is he going to do next, become an amateur basketball player? Hang out with her all day?

Them getting together in the end without discussing any of this took so much away from the moment for me. Idk, I guess we will see it play out in S2 but oh god I just got reminded of the narrative masterpiece that fleabag s2 is, especially the struggle with faith.

[hollowboobtheory]

you guys know you can advocate for a cause without trying to make it into a gotcha moment right? you don't need to make the case for the reader to be a hypocrite. it doesn't need to be an accusation you can just present the cause.

stephanie meyer wrote a book using incredibly racist stereotypes about a very small real-life native tribe with no input from the people she was depicting and has not given any of the millions she's made off it back to the Quileute community despite knowing that they could really use the money. this is a bad thing she's done. you should disapprove of it, you should support native voices telling their own stories, and if you've got a few spare bucks you should consider sending it their way.

joanne rowling openly called for the eradication of trans people and then told her supporters to equate support of her work with support of her views. this is also a bad thing she's done. you should openly, loudly, and unambiguously combat the narrative she is trying to create that her views are the silent majority and honestly a great way to do that is to openly refuse to platform the harry potter franchise and give this as your reason to send the message that fascism is not to be tolerated and she is not, in fact, just saying what everybody is thinking.

they have both done bad things but they are such vastly different situations that to even try to compare them at all, to rank them in terms of badness, like badness is a single sliding scale that can be objectively and numerically measured, is so fucking bizarre to me and i don't get why people are so obsessed with doing it.

[blnk338]

COD HEADCANONS 3

COD HEADCANONS 1

COD HEADCANONS 2

REAP WHAT YOU SOW | GHOST X READER ON AO3!

Price:

Generally grew up with a pretty dull family life; parents were distant, especially his dad

Made a vow that he would not only be a good father, but he would remind those around them that they are watched over, whether they liked it or not

Dad taxation like it’s the end of the fucking world.

Oh you got a little sweet drink? Better not look away, he’s taking a sip

Buy candy at the gas station? His arm’s already careened around the side of the driver’s seat, asking you for some

Big on movies, but will absolutely fall asleep while watching them, then shoot up and tell you not to change the channel when you even touch the remote

Struggles a lot internally trying to deal with the fact that every mission might be his last with his boys, mulling over the loss of Alex, wondering if the same will happen to Gaz

Genuinely sees Garrick as the son he never had and knows that the kid admires him

It’s not often Price gets a hug or a pat on the back, but it’s hard for him to hide the wide smile that spreads across his lips when one of his team wraps an arm around him or pats his shoulder.

Survivor’s guilt to the max, man. Every mission is a mental preparation for the worst, and the very idea that he could be responsible for any one of the 141’s deaths weighs on him like all hell

Couldn’t decide if he wanted to get ordained or be the best man at Laswell’s wedding, so he did both. He sobbed as he read out his lines, then threw dad ass during the after-party.

Has a habit of calling his team, especially Gaz, “son” and has just gotten so used to it that he’s stopped correcting himself, and not a single member has brought it up seriously (aside from gag gifts for the holidays)

The warmest, most loving hugs out of the entire 141. The other's hugs are great, but there is so much genuine care put into every single bear hug of his. Each embrace holds you like it's your last, enveloping you in warmth as he mutters a few words of comfort, thanks, or both.

Wishes he could be a better father to his own daughters, but continuously finds reasons to stay in the military

Because of that, he is the absolute worst at discipline when he's on leave. He can scold as much as he wants, but his kids know he’s not being serious. Spoils them to not end.

His daughters also love Gaz and see him as an older brother

Gaz:

Like Price, there’s a lot of internal blame for everything.

Maybe if he shot first, or got to the site faster—maybe if he was better... those soldiers, those people, could’ve been saved.

Sees himself often as a shield, a hand in battle, and with that, sees himself as expendable. If it means seeing his team come back alive, he’d do anything to make sure that they’re okay.

Selfless to a fault. He’s taken more bullets, more stabs, and more punches than anyone else on the team during TF-141’s active timeframe. Price worries like hell over him because, on most missions, he comes back with at the very least a swollen cheek.

Considered smoking to take the edge off, but hates the taste of cigarettes and cigars, and prefers edibles over it all.

Even with that, he still tries to handle it “naturally,” insisting he’s alright and doesn’t need anything to cope, that the stress and anxiety will just pass eventually.

Refused therapy for a long time because he was afraid of getting worse, but eventually started going and has overall enjoyed his time

Was a parkour kid and then just… never lived it down.

Because of this, it’s nearly impossible to get away from the guy. Soap’ll pull pranks on him and have the guy in a dead sprint across base, leaping and vaulting off of boxes, crates, and other soldiers just to catch the Scotsman.

Bit people when he was a kid, too

Says “bruh”

“A woman? The only woman in my life is Joann Fabrics.”

Knows how to sew, patches up his clothes all the time, stitching his initials into the tags.

What can he say? He likes to keep his stuff to himself (plus with all of the stuff that Soap steals, if he doesn’t put a label on ‘em, they’ll be right in the lost and found)

Bit his nails pretty far down to the point where they hurt, so he tried out different nail polishes to keep himself from biting. When on the field, if he feels like he needs to bite them, he just sharpie’s them in (it works well enough for the guy)

Is completely content with drinking things right out of the fridge, regardless of who’s home. The milk you got yesterday? He’s just takin’ a quick swing, no worries, no really, it’s fine—just a sip, JUST A SIP—

Soap:

This guy plasters on a smile to cover up his crazy anxiety and intense paranoia; the responsibility he feels for his team, especially his lieutenant, is fucking crazy

He’ll take a bullet for everyone, but he’s more than willing to take whatever is needed for Ghost or Price, knowing they’re a higher rank, therefore sees them as more important. He holds Gaz in the same way, but he can't act the same because he's supposed to see him as equal; yet he would willingly take an RPG for the kid

Loves giving himself and his teammates spa days; face and hair masks, deep conditioning, threading eyebrows

Big on physical affection, but really relishes in the idea that he can do things for the people he cares about instead of hugs if preferred

The guy’s filled with so much love, it’s hard to contain, but he’s really really good at waiting and holding back for those who aren’t as into touching.

Like he knows Price loves hugs, so he’ll take any chance to pat his shoulder or include him in the fun, wrapping an arm around him, engaging him with the rest of the team’s shenanigans

Gaz loves the silly stuff with Soap, so they’ll pretend to make out or make fake moaning sounds, smacking the walls to make it seem like they’re fucking or something just to mess with any poor bystanders on base; adores how much shit he can pull with Gaz, so at the drop of a feather, he’s up and ready to fuck around and find out with the younger Brit. They are responsible for thousands of dollars in property damage.

Quality time with Roach is a big thing for the two of them since Roach seemingly always has something he has to do, and Soap can’t always help him (paperwork and such); just sitting in the same room, making light conversation, or doodling on the scratch paper while his fellow sergeant files papers is enough for him.

He knows Ghost isn’t huge on physical affection, so all of his touches never go past a short, half-embrace; usually landing on things like a clap on the shoulder or punch to the arm. Otherwise, Soap’ll run around doing tasks for him, helping him with the privates for the day, and other mundanities for his lieutenant. If it makes his life easier, Soap would tell him to consider it done before he even starts.

Sometimes wonders how good the team would be without him; if it all came down to it, what would he need to do to make sure that the 141 could manage without his support?

Big overthinker. Spends hours sometimes just cleaning the same knife over and over again, staring off into space, eyes blank as his mind tries to click puzzle pieces together

Thalassophobia

Still calls it a “slumby” instead of a slumber party

“It’s not a slumber party”

“YES IT IS WERE HAVING FUN AND WERE STAYING THE NIGHT IT’S A SLUMBY”

Its an abandoned warehouse in the middle of no where, there’s leaks in the roof, and the ground is damp.

Ghost:

Was a really anxious kid that ended up trying to cover it all up in his teens. Was actually kinda popular in high school; athletic, good-natured, and genuinely tried his best in his courses. There was always something sort of off about him though, he’d sit in class with a faraway look, spacing out, sometimes coming into school with eyebags for days.

Bit people as a kid

Wanted to go to college for computer engineering, but was highly discouraged and ended up getting into the military instead (as well as other reasons)

Still sometimes wonders about working with tech instead of using firearms, but those are just dreams, nothing more. He has a job to do now, it’s useless to think about anything but that.

Trusts every single member of the 141 (eventually Alej and Rudy) with his life. Is absolutely terrible at actually saying it, but would take a tank to the teeth to make sure they all end up alive. He isn’t willing to let them be selfless—he isn’t willing to give anyone up.

Milk drinker

Raw egg eater

Likes almonds, does not like cashews. Has never given a reason why.

Does not care for bugs.

“Why are you screaming, it’s a beetle.”

Doesn’t really get the whole deal about insects because they're usually so easy to take care of, but will remove them once everyone quiets down, taking a little piece of paper and cup, scooping up the little thing, and placing it outside. If someone's got a fear, he respects it and will take care of it, but he does it all with a neutral look on his face.

His main party trick is that he can swallow a cup of jello without blinking.

Just bottoms up, down the hatch, and done

Soap tried to do the same thing once and it ended up with him making a HOUGH sound and the jello, still fully intact, shooting across the room and splatting against the wall

Likes to write down jokes he thinks of on his arm; carries a pen everywhere

On that note, his arm and hands are his notepads. You can easily find random numbers, dates, a few mismatched words, and a small grocery list all on his non-dominant hand

Feels like he can’t ever get married or have kids because he’s so afraid of what happened to his parents will happen to him, and he never wants to do that to anyone, especially someone he loves

Still struggles with a lot of self-worth, denying the idea of a family or a stable future. It’s easier to not think about the future when you aren’t sure if you’re going to make it through the next mission

Is Normal British Guy #81 in his civvies, unless with the 141. He’ll wear a scarf or a mask for hunting or for winter, but he genuinely doesn’t wear shit during normal hours. If he's with one of his teammates, he'll wear a face mask of any sort.

One time, Soap was down south to pick up a specific brand of coffee he likes (yes, he’s particular), and Simon, who was getting some last-minute groceries, just stared at him for a good nineteen seconds before walking to the back of the store.

Soap didn’t know it was him.

... and he never will because Ghost’ll never tell him

Nosey nelly, this one.

Knows everyone’s info, for some reason.

He knows your address, and your social security number, oh, tell your mom “happy birthday.”

The team’s gotten used to it because he’s gotten better, but they all know that he’s seen their files.

it's all precautionary, doesn't intend for it to be creepy

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thoughts on Taskmaster s18e01, written as I watch it:

- It occurs to me, as I start the episode, that while it’s very very exciting that this season contains the guy who’s been my number 1 person on my Taskmaster wishlist for ages – Andrew Zaltzman – it also might be the first Taskmaster season ever where I go into it strongly disliking one of the contestants. I disliked Joanne McNally before s17 started, but I admitted that that was based on one story she told on one episode of Alan Davies’ TV show once, and it wasn’t fair to entirely judge her on that. By the end of the season she’d won me around, she was a lot of fun. I will be very, very surprised if Jack Dee wins me around by the end of the season, as my dislike for him is based on quite a bit more than my dislike of Joanne McNally was. But we’ll see how it goes. It’s fine. I don’t need to look at Jack Dee. Too many good people in the other chairs. Obviously Andy, I like Rosie Jones a lot too, Emma Sidi I’ve vaguely liked for ages from Radio 4 but I saw her live in Edinburgh this summer and thought it was one of the best shows of the year. And I know very little about Babatunde, but if he lets women talk while they’re on TV with him and doesn’t give interviews about the evils of cancel culture, then he’s got to be better than Jack Dee.

- Oh my God it’s Andy on TV!!! Okay, besides that, my first reaction to seeing him is to say – I think I once saw a relatively recent picture of Andy Zaltzman in which, for whatever reason, his hair looked extra white. Because when I picture the recent versions of him, I picture him with entirely white hair. So every time I see an actual recent picture of him, I’m surprised to see that it’s still visibly red, even if it’s greying. There’s also more of it than I thought. In fact, I think his hairline is in the same place as it’s been since about 2006. 2006 was the year (maybe one of a few years) when he had a stand-up bit about how some people ask him if his curly red hair is a wig, and he replies that if he were going to wear a wig, he’d choose a wig without a receding hairline. But it appears that it receded until 2006 and then stopped there for nearly twenty years. Okay, I promise that is the longest paragraph about a comedian’s physical appearance that I will write on this blog.

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I think the funniest ways for Greg to do his little insulting introduction of Alex are to imply he’s right-wing. It should have gotten old by now, but it hasn’t. Good start, saying he finds women’s sports boring.

- Alex Horne opens with that Jack and the Beans Talk pun, that’s got to be the most contrived pun ever used on Taskmaster. Just trying to show off for the pun master Andy Zaltzman. You won’t win, Alex.

- Look, if someone else had brought in someone else’s lungs for a prize task with a remit of “best thing that’s been inside you”, I would say exactly what Greg said, which is “Those lungs have not been inside you.” I’m usually a stickler for prizes that stick to the instructions, it annoys me when a prize wins despite not fitting the exact wording for the remit. However, because it was Andy Zaltzman who brought those lungs in, my reaction is: “Come on, Greg. Of course he’s putting his own personal lungs up as that prize. Do you know how seriously Andy Zaltzman takes sports? Clearly what’s happened is the first thing Andy Zaltzman’s done on Taskmaster is threaten to die for it.”

- I will be annoyed if Andy’s marked down for his prize because those specific lungs haven’t been inside him, and Babatunde isn’t marked down for the same reason. I do not believe he has personally eaten and vomited up that specific food that’s on the prize task table.

- I will accept Emma’s prize as fitting the remit. She didn’t physically bring in her ex, but I believe she fairly represented him, and the thing she represented was her actual ex, not just some other guy who’s never been inside her but is also a guy.

- To be fair to Jack Dee, he is the first person to bring in a prize that has actually physically been inside him. However, this is the sort of thing that annoys me, because the task remit was not just “thing that’s been inside you”, it was “best thing that’s been inside you”. Obviously that toothbrush does not qualify as the best of anything.

- Well done, Rosie. The only person to bring in a prize that has actually been physically inside her, and is a good thing. That should be five points. Though I’m still pretty impressed by the power move from Emma Sidi in bringing in a sex-based prize for her first episode. I guess she didn’t know that would be the first episode when she picked the task. Still, pretty funny.

- I largely agree with that scoring. Though as they’ve both not been inside someone so are equal on that and should be judged on the best thing, I think lungs are better than food.

- Okay, I got so caught up in the intrigue of that first task that I watched the entire thing without stopping to write anything. Having seen it all now, I have a few comments. First, I’m a little confused about why it said they can’t read the instructions out loud, as none of the instructions had a word beginning with Q. But I guess it was maybe to discourage speaking in general, to decrease the chances that they’d all accidentally say a Q word? Some of the contestants seemed to think it meant they couldn’t talk at all, even though the task never said that, just that they couldn’t read the instructions out loud.

Alex offered quite a lot of help in this one. Correcting some of them when they got the letters in SEAL wrong, or at least telling them that the letter was incorrect and to try again. I can see why because it would have taken ages otherwise, but that is a little way in which I find myself liking the NZ and AU versions over this. The Taskmaster UK allotted task times have got shorter and shorter over the years; NZ and AU regularly give them 45 minutes or an hour to make something, while the UK hardly ever does that anymore. I assume that’s to save on production costs and things, make thing shorter, but it is fun when they can take their time and make something bigger. And it’s also funny when they can let a contestant struggle for like two hours. Similarly, I’m not sure Paul Williams or Tom Cashman would have gone to get a second seal for Jack. Might have just made him stumble around until he accidentally said a Q word. Which it turns out he did almost immediately anyway, so shouldn’t the clock have been stopped at that point, if that was the end of the task? Also, to be far to Jack Dee, I have to admit it's pretty funny that Jack Dee got to light shit on fire in the very first pre-filmed task.

Anyway, Rosie Jones is killing it in the task as well as the studio, declaring that she has to smile because she’s so happy/doesn’t want to look dead. Though Emma Sidi’s probably the main one standing out so far, I was not expecting her to have such a… I don’t know how to describe it besides “forceful presence”, in the studio. I cannot stop looking at her and I think I’ve laughed at everything she’s said so far. Possibly a bit of that is because she’s got quite a distinctive voice and every time she uses it I remember how hard she made me laugh the last time I heard that voice, in Edinburgh last month. Also I might be in love with her.

My other comment is that I love Andy Zaltzman being upset with himself for missing a perfect opportunity to say the word “quesadilla”. Also being audibly annoyed when he had to remove a cricket glove to count words.

- Where the fuck is that location? I’m sure I can work this out by Googling, that is clearly an actual theme park and I can just look up which one they went to, and I will do that after I finish the episode, but right now, I will say again: where the fuck are they? I’ve not seen anything except the initial few shots of this location task, and I already think this is my favourite location in years. Favourite since the airport, at least. Top few ever. What the fuck, guys? There is so much going on. I’ve recently re-watched all six seasons of BoJack Horseman, and this looks like the nightmare theme park that Todd built that one time.

Also, that opening shot of Andy Zaltzman coming up the grounds in full cricket gear and waving his bat around. I told myself I won’t do screenshots in these posts, because I used to do Taskmaster liveblogging posts that were full of Gifs and screenshots but those make the whole episode take like four hours to watch, while doing text-only liveblogs are shorter. But I need to draw everyone’s attention to that shot of Andy Zaltzman waving his cricket bat around.

No one has ever dragged their own props around on Taskmaster before. Andy Zaltzman has invented a whole new dimension to the game because his cricket obsession is so powerful. It feels like this shouldn't be allowed - contestants are generally not supposed to bring their own things that could help them in the tasks (they've occasionally used phones before, but that's generally considered to go against the spirit of the game). Is a cricket bat an advantage in Taskmaster? I guess we'll find out.

- While I’m here, one more quick exception to my “no screenshots” rule:

I noticed this when I was in England last month - there's a surprising amount of tropical fauna out there. Mainly in the form of bushes with those spiky leaves, but sometimes there's just a straight-up palm tree. Like this thing behind Andy Zaltzman. Did everyone else know that England has palm trees? They weren't everywhere or anything, but in the four days I spent exploring London, I saw enough for it to be a pattern. And there's another one, in this screenshot. Why does England have palm trees?

- In the first task, Jack Dee had to stare at a camera without smiling. In the second task, Andy Zaltzman gets to throw a cricket ball. Are they all going to get something tailored to be what their comedy persona is supposed to do well? Will the next task involve them all playing characters, for Emma Sidi?

- I think Andy used to cricket bat to bring the tin closer to him, so I guess they are just letting him use that thing in tasks. Also, I greatly enjoyed watching him throw things at fences while narrating his ideas. And stroppily throwing a yoga ball at the end, and then over-dramatically hitting his pads. It is so unnatural to see Andy Zaltzman play for the camera like that, it’s really funny

- The reveal of how he actually did very well, followed by him complaining that he’s supposed to get the stats right – also very funny.

- First “Alex breaks and has to hide his laugh behind a clipboard” of the season: Babatunde throwing the yoga ball way too far and it going over all the cans. Good stuff.

- I’d wondered how they’d do this season with Rosie’s disability – if they’d adapt the tasks to be ones where you can do them just as easily with cerebral palsy, or if they’d give her accommodations to level the playing field. According to this task, they seem to have gone with… neither. Which is pretty funny. I mean, that’s not how anything should work in real life. But if I take a moment to remember my belief that it matters who wins Taskmaster is only pretend, that’s pretty funny. And I assume it’s how Rosie Jones wanted it, as she’s built a career on making jokes about how she does things differently from others, and there are more opportunities for that this way.

- Love Rosie throwing her hat and coat at the problem.

- I love that Emma Sidi is the only one smart/patient enough to actually properly count all the cans. Absolutely not fucking around, just going right out and doing it properly. We’re all in love with her now, right?

- …I wrote the above point before seeing that Jack Dee did the exact same thing. It was less cool when he did it, okay?

- Emma’s “how do you summon skills that you don’t have?” reminds me of Mark Watson’s “I don’t know how to open this, and I don’t quite know what to do if I can’t” line from season 5. I think of that Mark Watson line probably, quite literally, at least once every two weeks. Because about that often, a scenario arises where I struggle to work out how to do something and am very aware that I have no backup plan. I think “how do summon skills that you don’t have?” will become relevant in my life about that often. Also, I liked Emma jumping on the yoga ball to get more cans. You do what you have to do, if you didn’t have the foresight to bring a fucking cricket bat.

- …Seeing Emma Sidi’s actual throwing ability, I might have to take back that thing I just said about her being the hyper-competent one. But those are always fun contestants, the ones with very high skills in some areas and very low skills in others.

- Oh fuck you. How dare you? How very dare you? What the fuck?

- Fuck you.

- Fuck you, Alex.

- Oh, I’m sorry that Andy is a serious sportsman, and if you hand him a cricket ball (I think he was actually throwing the golf ball when he stepped off the spot, but ignore that) while he’s dressed in full cricket gear, he’s going to do a proper throw, with a wind-up and torque and follow-through, because he has too much respect for the game to half-ass it, and I’m sorry if that doesn’t conform to your little Taskmaster rules, Alex!

- Fuck you. God damn it.

- …All right I’ve got to the next task where Andy Zaltzman has just hit a plastic bubble with a cricket bat, and that’s cheered me up a bit. At least they let him have a weapon. Andy Zaltzman is the first contestant in Taskmaster history who’s been allowed to just carry a weapon around the whole time.

- I’m liking the running joke of suggesting that Babatunde being a comedian means he can never do anything else. It’s a shame the new audience for each episode prevents Taskmaster from having too many season-long running jokes, because that would be a good one.

- Okay, Babatunde’s massive bubbles are genuinely beautiful. I sometimes blow bubbles for the kids where I work, and I get genuinely into trying to make one as big as possible, because the big ones are pretty. Babatunde using those big things to make things that are just straight-up huge bubbles is more beautiful than the clever gimmicks. But I suppose the daughter thing is a nice touch.

- Watching Andy’s bubble video, I was thinking: “What is this? What’s the French thing? Andy Zaltzman has exactly one voice that he does whenever he’s doing any character at all, and this French accent isn’t it. Andy Zaltzman does not do theatre kid sketches. He occasionally does sketches, but they’re always about colonialism or the state of public discourse or the uselessness of God or some shit. Not parodies of French film. What the fuck? Who is this person and what has he does with Andy Zaltzman?” Then he tried to hit a bubble like a snooker shot, and I thought, “Oh good. There he is.”

- Having now finished the French film, I can only agree with Greg Davies about it. Genuinely good. Andy’s right, snooker is beautiful.

- They’re grouping Rosie and Emma, meaning that I’m pretty sure in every task so far, Andy Zaltzman’s clips have been isolated, with the other four being paired as two and two.

- I was joking about the third task being a character thing to play to Emma Sidi’s strengths, but that’s pretty much what this is. I am immediately a fan of both the bubble gum fairy and the crazy lady in the bath. I think they should have a sitcom together.

- Emma Sidi’s “Sorry bitch” to Rosie in the studio just got the first proper laugh out loud of the episode from me. They seem to have immediately gelled nicely in the studio – the banter isn’t usually this good from episode one, especially given that I don’t think these people know each other from outside the show (maybe a bit, I assume Andy and Jack know each other, you’d think Babatunde and Rosie would cross paths, but they don’t seem to know each other well).

- Yep, you’re God damn right to give Andy’s video five points, Greg. He should enter that in film festivals.

- I am also down for Emma Sidi’s winking to become a season-long joke. For personal reasons.

- Emma’s got the second laugh out loud in a few minutes from me, in her little glare at Andy while reading the live task, and getting to the point where you have to stay on the spot. She’s brilliant.

- Third laugh out loud of the episode: Andy moving the spot over to avoid breaking the rules. I love how much they’re all getting into this in the studio. This is going to be a fucking good season.

- Rosie Jones’ reaction when she realized she’d drunk the vinegar – also very fun. This is so much fun. I do find it funny how much this task says about the contestants. Rosie and Babatunde go straight for drinking, figuring they can just try stuff and it’ll work out. Andy, Emma, and Jack try to work smarter by gathering information and figuring it out from there. That all seems to track with their overall personas. But in the end, Rosie gets it on the second try, proving the efficacy of the first method. Just go for it.

- Wait, so they’re not going to tell us what the clue was? Does that mean we should assume she was right and it was prime number? Because I want to know. “Prime number” would be a very Horne-esque clue.

- Well that was fucking excellent overall. I'm pretty sure I'm not just biased by my love of Zaltzman here, when I say that was a very strong first episode, better than most seasons. They usually take longer than that to fall into a rhythm in the studio. I cannot wait for more of this.

[snek-panini]

At long last, I have a new book to share! Feels like forever since the last one. This is Vita Nova, a fantastic Good Omens fic by @philoomenaa that I asked to bind way back in October. It took me a while to get here and I learned several new techniques for this bind but it was so very worth the wait. It's an excellent pre-season 2 story from 2019-2020, involving the fandom's favorites dealing with an unexpected bout of both humanity and memory loss. It's just...really really good and I love it.

More photos and process talk under the cut! There are a lot of details to see with this one.

One of the things I learned for this bind was homemade book cloth. I used the heat n bond method and had pretty good results with this satiny bronze cloth that I found in the Joann's remnant bin. The making of the cloth was fairly straightforward but it handles very differently to regular book cloth. The satin is really slippery and absolutely would not hold a crease at the hinge. I think it also shrank a little at the gluing stage? Which sounds weird but I left my usual amount of space for the corner turn-ins but still had teeny tiny gaps on three of the corners, which has never happened to me before. I also had an issue with glue seepage when I applied HTV to the cover and spine. You can see this in the images above, and here in the spine photos:

Part of the reason it has that fancy art nouveau frame on the cover is an attempt to hide this. I think it's the heat press re-activating the heat n bond to cause it. I found out two things here: that fabric requires less press time than book cloth or cardstock, and that if you move the heat press slowly but constantly like an iron it is way less likely to do this. I was super disappointed that it happened but now, a few days later, it doesn't seems so bad. I guess some items just come with a little personal history already baked in.

Here, have some more glamour shots:

The geometric endpapers were chosen specifically to go with this cloth. I found them at the same craft store and knew I had use them together, they look so incredible. And I learned edge gilding for this project! It was very annoying. The final result here is with heat transfer foil, and I did about six tests on scrap text blocks before I got a result I was at all satisfied with. I tried rub n buff (great coverage, not shiny enough, kept coming off on my fingers even after curing for 2 days) and an actual gilding kit (flaked off as soon as I separated the pages). The heat foil still has some patchy spots but was by far the best-looking result. I also learned double-core end bands for this project! Because I wanted some kind of match for those opulent endpapers and didn't want to settle for just two colors. I think they came out pretty well for a first try and I'll definitely be doing them again.

Couple of photos of the ribbon I chose for the bookmark. It's probably a little too wide for a book this length; you can see in the end band photo that I had to fold it in half to get it to lay in the spine properly. But it looks so good with the other design elements that I couldn't resist. Luxury all the way on this one.

Speaking of luxury, have a look at the interior:

From left to right, we have the title page, the ornament I chose for the chapter numbers, and the scene break divider. All the images came from rawpixel with just the lightest amount of editing from me. The chapter image is the same as the star on the title page, but I made it gray and took out the center to turn it into a frame for the numbers. The cloth and endpapers really set the tone for this one all the way through, and all the other design choices followed from there. It's really gorgeous, guys. I love it so much.

And that's it! That was the last work in progress I had from 2023, and I'm so pleased to have finally finished it. Hope you like it, AMidnightDreary!

[noel-fielding-web-page]

Can you name any favorites whose age is significantly younger than Noel?

I had this question before. I had only few guys. Now my choice is changing, so I can name at least 10 persons :)

John Robins

Born 04/05/1982

I found out about him from Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled, then Mock The Week and Taskmaster, of course. He's the 17th series winner! Lovely guy and looks adorable. I like this type of people. Probably, he doesn't look as extraordinary as Noel, but he has a positive energy that can make me love him. I think, he's a nice guy :) Also, he's a fan of Queen! I respect him for that! I really like classic rock legends!

Joe Lycett

Born 05/07/1988

One of my very first favorites after Noel! Always smiling and laughing dummy ;) I've been interested in this guy for the years. As Noel, Joe never aspired to be just a comedian on the stage. Every year he changed himself in a different ways. I'm absolutely not surprising that it's difficult to recognize a once modest boy in current Lycett. That makes it cool and unique! He's actually great!

Ed Gamble

Born 10/03/1986

Mock The Week star, Taskmaster winner and podcast host. I didn't even knew that Ed had a problem with the weight. Now he looks just awesome! Sexy, beautiful, funny and always positive guy!

Joey Page

Born 12/05/1985

Yes, I still remember and like him. He debuted in Never Mind The Buzzcocks and Luxury Comedy (2010-2011). Probably, he's not a big celebrity, but he's still cool. I like watching his podcasats "Got A Problem Mate" Interesting and hilarious :)

Chris Ramsey

Born 03/08/1986

Another lovely comedian that I discovered from Never Mind The Buzzcocks. He's beautiful and always laughing man. Also he's a great host. One of the longtime favorites :)

Aisling Bea

Born 16/03/1984

Irish female comedian with original voice. She is beautiful and interesting person. Started like her after Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Taskmaster, QI and Big Fat Quiz :)

Sam Campbell

Born 19/09/1991

He was a guest in Never Mind The Buzzcocks in Noel's team. I'm usually not remembering the persons that I've never knew. Then he took a part and win in Taskmaster. Funny, trolly and creative guy :)

Jack Whitehall

Born 07/07/1988

Love him in ALOTO (A League Of Their Own) Also he was amazing host in Never Mind The Buzzcocks :)

Joanne McNally

Born 07/05/1983

The newest for me. It's an Irish stand-up comedian, writer, and actress. McNally was the co-host of Republic of Telly for RTÉ and has also appeared on The Late Late Show, The Afternoon Show, Ireland AM, Two Tube, and The Commute for RTÉ. As well as segments on RTÉ 2fm, McNally co-hosts a podcast called My Therapist Ghosted Me with Vogue Williams. 2nd place of Taskmaster. Beautiful and funny girl :)

Rosie Jones

Born 26/06/1990

Rosie is no average girl. She was born with congenital paralysis, but instead of letting it hold her back, she embraced it as a unique part of who she is. It's like her quirky trademark. She's incredibly gifted and has a great sense of humor. Plus, she's pretty adorable :)

Sophie Willan

Born 21/10/1987

English actress, narrator, writer and comedian. She has won two BAFTAs for her television sitcom Alma's Not Normal. Also one of the craziest Taskmaster contestants :)

Olga Koch

Born 01/09/1992

Russian-British stand-up comedian, writer, and actress. Found out about her from Mock The Week. She's so loud! But still funny :)

Thanks for asking ;) x

[hooked-on-elvis]

ELVIS FOR CHILDREN 🎈

"Cotton Candy Land" from "It Happened at the World's Fair" movie soundtrack (1963).

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Every time I see Elvis singing to children in his movies I picture him singing to Lisa Marie Presley. What would Elvis sing to his baby girl, I wonder. Either it was his own songs, one of those he sang in the movies, or traditional children songs, that would've been so cute to watch! 🥹

But... Elvis' love for children is dated way back to when Lisa probably wasn't even a dream to Elvis.

Elvis' love and affection for his young fans was visible. Any time he met with his fans and there was a tiny new born/infant, a toddler or a child among them, the little one immediately caught Elvis' attention. He is seeing in many, many moments, holding his fans' babies in his arms. Not only his fans babies - I have to say this because you can think he used to hold his fans babies just to 'put up an image' and make himself more likable to his adult audience but it wasn't the case, believe me. Since the 50s (at least, as we have photos to attest only after he begun his music career), Elvis loved children. He was so tender towards any children since always! There's pictures of him with his friends' babies, his family's babies, his coworkers' babies and even playing with his children costars between filming his movies. He was a natural with them. Elvis loved kids and the kids loved Elvis back. ♥

By the way, Elvis also did stand for such vital, important causes for children, over the years! Talking about the Polio vaccine and the 'March of Dimes' campaign, to which EP was one of the voices to, a supporter and a great asset to this cause since the 50s.

Elvis is pictures with Mary Kosloski (photos 1 -2), Joanne Wilson (3) and Robert Marquette (4); all three children victims of the Polio disease and the faces for the March of Dimes campaigns over the late 50s. But that's another story (an excellent and specially lovely one chapter in Elvis Presley's and the world's history).

Is that clear yet? ELVIS LOVED CHILDREN.

Look at how he mimics his little fan's expression. This is a guy who was genuine interacting with people. 🥹

---

That being said, did you know there's Elvis albums specially made for children?

Previously I already knew there was (at least) one Beatles album for children ("All You Need Is Love: Beatles Songs For Kids", released in 1999), but now I found out Elvis too has albums specially for his young fans. That is what I truly intend to share with you today. ♥

There's at least two of them: "Elvis Sings for Children and Grownups Too!", released by RCA Victor in 1978 — You can hear the '40th anniversary edition' full album here (Youtube); and "Elvis Sings for Kids" released in 2002.

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"Elvis Sings for Children and Grownups Too!" (CD):

"Elvis Sings for Children and Grownups Too!" (Vinyl... way cooler!):

"Elvis Sings for Kids" (CD)

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There must be more of these "Elvis for Children" albums, but there you go. You got the picture. ⚡

One thing's for sure: If you have a children's birthday party to attend or you're a happy parent or at least has a child in the family (or close friends group) and wants to give them the best gift they will be thankful for, specially when they grow up — believe me, the first CD/VINYL a child is gifted with is unforgettable for them (mine was a Britney Spears' one, 90s child haha, and I love it but I'd rather it have been one of the King's ones, sure) — you can take the opportunity and gift that lucky child with an Elvis Presley album specially designed for them. ♥

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To end this special post, look our baby Elvis, that cute precious little thing! 🥹

[thegeekyartist]

I finally saw the new genderbent version of Company and I have some thoughts... (the Let Bobbie Be a Lesbian essay)

I want to preface all of this by saying that I love this musical and there was so so much of it that I enjoyed (which I'll get to). I LOVE the move to make Bobby/ie a woman. I think that it opens the door to a lot of incredible interpretations of an already fairly open-ended text.

However, so much was lost because of the other changes made to the text to force it to work.

The new lyrics felt so clunky. ("Bobbie really ought to have a fella"???? Why not "husband"?? Just ugh.) There are also new nicknames for her in the Company motif that I still can't figure out. I also find it odd that they chose to have the husbands sing Poor Baby and the wives sing Have I Got a Guy for You. Not that I necessarily think it was bad, just that I didn't think it was necessary. The lyric changes in those were strange as well (for example, why can't the husbands be "the only tenderness she's ever known"? Why change that to "comfort"?). I can't remember all of them but there were plenty of moments like that that just felt disjointed with the change.

They also removed the implications that Peter was gay - which I totally forgot about until my partner reminded me. If memory serves there's a little bit of flirting with Bobby in the original (?), but they could have mostly kept those lines and implied that he and Susan had divorced to form a more queerplatonic union, a look into a different type of lifestyle for Bobbie to consider - which leads me to my main point.

So much of this clunkiness could have been avoided if they just let Bobbie be interested in women. Assuming that this version of the musical is set in the present, Bobbie is a late millenial who grew up in a time when casual homophobia was *everywhere* and being out and proud was still very taboo, with possibly the only exposure to queer living being some very imperfect queer representation in media. She watched gay marriage become legalized. It's still NEW. She has so much internalized homophobia to work through, and I think that could play a lot into her avoidance of committing to someone and settling down.

This also brings life back into the girl/boyfriends, and how each of them gives Bobbie a different look into what her life could be. Look at Martha/P.J! Martha would be an excellent bit of lesbian representation -- a way for Bobbie to experience a world in which she's allowed to be loudly queer and part of the pulse of the city. Kathy is an example of a queer woman happily falling into a traditional lifestyle, one who just wants to act like and be treated like people in heterosexual couples. April is a little tricky (I actually loved turning her into a self-aware himbo vs. ditzy and naive woman). But! Given April's wounded butterfly story, she could be interpreted as another baby gay trying to accept who she is and heal from previous relationships that didn't treat her the way she deserved. She's someone who already decided she wants something more, someone who IS ready to dive in, which is why she's so clingy at the end of their scene (Barcelona).

I also HATED that Joanne's come-on to Bobbie at the end of the play was changed to her offering up Larry instead. If Bobbie has spent the whole play struggling to come to terms with her sexuality as well as a desire for more than just physical intimacy ("Who will I take care of?") I think this makes Joanne's "I just did someone a huge favor" line even more poignant. Bobbie has fully accepted not only herself, but that she wants love and companionship for real.

So why not just make Bobbie bisexual? Keep some of the changes but allow for some of the original text to return? I appreciate the forethought to avoid Bobbie falling into the indecisive bisexual stereotype, however! I think a major part of Bobbie's character is that she is terrified of making the wrong decision, and what those decisions mean for the life she's currently living and (mostly) content with. There's such a huge level of biphobia in our society (yes, including lgbtqia spaces) that we insist that if a bisexual woman marries a woman, she's actually just a lesbian. And if a bisexual woman marries a man, well then obviously she's just straight and saying she's bi for the attention. This could be a huge barrier for Bobbie to settle down, that fear that an entire part of her identity will disappear with it. While I don't necessarily think this is a better reading than a fully lesbian Bobbie, I do think there could be interesting changes to explore there, as well.

What I will say!!!!!!! Is that there were plenty of things that I thoroughly enjoyed.

I think changing "Tick-Tock" from a ballet while Bobbie and April/Andy have sex into a fun nightmare of Bobbies speed-running a traditional marriage while our Bobbie was forced to watch was *awesome*. I almost wanted even more Bobbies running around to make her feel even more suffocated.

I also loved swapping Jenny and David's lines, making David the doting, nervous husband while Jenny is this woman who has lost her individuality to being nothing but wife/mother. Watching him get stoned and climb over the set and struggle to say "bitch" was hilarious.

AND ABOUT THAT SET!

One of my favorite things about Company is that it's a concept musical -- there's no set timeline, the plot is entirely comprised of unrelated vignettes. I think they could have played WAY more into this using the set, but let me start by saying I LOVED the grayscale. I loved that it gave everything this manufactured, fake feeling. And seeing Bobbie's bright red outfit in contrast was so nice and striking. Plus, seeing how small and crowded Bobbie's apartment was on such a large stage was an incredible visual (when the whole cast squeezed in for the first "Company"?? awesome)

I was GAGGED in the very beginning when Bobbie was pulling on all the doors of her apartment and couldn't escape, only for the set to shift and move so that when she could finally open a door, it led right into Harry and Sarah's apartment. Why didn't they do more of that??? I wanted so badly for them to always have Bobbie in this forced unreality of "how did I get here? Have I always been here?". Then each time she does finally escape a scene she'd find herself stuck in another one. I feel like that tension could have built beautifully throughout until the final "Company" motif when she finally breaks and interrupts them (Being Alive). It's not like they *didn't* do this (for example, the Peter and Susan's balcony lowers on her in a way that shows she wasn't expecting it), but it could have been a much, much bigger part of the overall theme had they really pushed it.

I did also really like the repeating 35's in the background of all the scenes, like it was a constant reminder for Bobbie that she couldn't escape. I wish there was even more of that, too (the balloons getting bigger was a vv nice touch, for example).

I also appreciated that in the scenes where the songs are sung as asides (Poor Baby, The Little Things You Do Together), Bobbie gets to interact with the singers while the rest of the cast is frozen. That's a great change, and once again plays into that idea that Bobbie feels stuck and is trying to escape/work through all these issues in her head throughout the play.

*************************

I know this got long, I guess my point is that with all the fun, incredible changes they made (The Amy/Jaime scene was hilarious. And I didn't even TALK ABOUT all the hidden passages in that set!!), they fell short of making the choices that would have really caused this interpretation to shine. An issue I always have with Company is that I never *really* root for Bobby. Every time he makes a poor decision it's like "well, there he goes again". I think keeping a lot of the changes, changing Bobby into Bobbie, and allowing her to be a lesbian trying to come to grips with her sexuality while also giving herself permission to open up her heart to what a serious relationship could be, would make this a perfect re-imagining of the original text.