#also german music today that's a new one?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
iceclew · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Quiz night with the crew is so perfect for absent minded doodling :) So it became some more soft blorbos, and then I was like, laying some colour down and then BOOM shiny sun layer and finished.. xD
(I guess because my mind doesn't get the chance to overthink, since it's to busy with guessing, it sorta feels easier to just draw)
also a very obvious song choice today with AnnenMayKantenreit
105 notes · View notes
just-nc-tea · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
do you think i'm f͟r͟a͟g͟i͟l͟e͟? ☆ ͡ ⊹
⭑.ᐟ The coaches daughter -  Lee Heeseung A car accident has turned your life upside down, leaving you with a knee and ankle that ache like they belong to someone three times your age. Navigating college with these setbacks is hard enough, but when your overprotective dad insists you take an internship with the men’s hockey team, you’re thrust back into the world you’ve spent years avoiding. The rink represents everything you’ve lost—and then there’s Heeseung, the captain whom you somehow cannot stop thinking about.
series masterlist ⭑.ᐟ
ᝰ genre. College sports aus, angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn, fluff, a lot of falling asleep in the same bed, some good old family drama .ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ warnings. Swearing, car crash, Y/N just had surgery and is using crutches, partying, some making out .ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ word count. 30.k .ᐟ₊ ⊹  ᝰ an.I haven't written or published anything in like 8 years i think! And back then everything i wrote was in German so this was my first time propperly writing in English! I am not 100% pleased with this but i kinda also wanted to finally post this
Tumblr media
The sound of crunching metal and the violent jolt of impact were the last things you remembered clearly from that day six years ago.
You had been sitting in the front seat, your legs tucked comfortably into the seat as your dad drove through the light rain on a Saturday morning. “Soobin’s got nothing on me once I perfect my wrist shot,” you told your father excitedly, looking at him in the driver's seat. He nodded and briefly glanced at his phone in the cub holder, frowning when he saw a new message. He shifted in his seat, his focus divided.
You noticed the change in his expression but tried to keep the conversation light: “I was thinking... maybe you could watch the scrimmage today? I’ve been dying to show you how much better I’ve gotten.” Your voice held that hopeful edge, the one you always used when you wanted his approval.
“I’ll try, kiddo,” he said, though his tone was distracted. Before you could respond, your father’s eyes flicked back to the road—and froze. Ahead of the two of you, a truck skidded wildly through the intersection, its tires screeching on the wet pavement. Time seemed to slow as your father’s hands gripped the wheel, his mouth opening in a shout of warning that came too late.
The impact was deafening.
In the split second before the collision, you felt your father’s arm shoot out in front of you in a reflexive, futile attempt to shield your body from impact. Then, all at once, the world turned upside down. The sound of metal smashing against metal rang in your ears, so loud it felt like your head was splitting. Your body was thrown violently against the side of the car, your head slamming into the window with brutal force. You heard the crack of glass, the sharp crunch of bones, and then... pain. Blinding, searing pain exploded through your body, radiating from your foot up into your chest. It stole the air from your lungs, leaving you gasping, choking on your own breath.
Everything was chaos. The car spun, tipping slightly before jerking to a stop. For a moment, everything was still—then the world came rushing back in a torrent of pain and noise.
Your vision blurred as you tried to move, but your body wouldn’t respond. Your leg was pinned beneath the crumpled car door, and every tiny shift sent fresh waves of agony through your body. You could barely register the sound of your father’s frantic yelling, the way the rain tapped softly on the cracked windshield, the music that was still playing. You blinked, your vision swimming as your father freed himself from the wreckage. You saw him stagger out of the car, blood dripping from a gash on his forehead, his expression panicked, desperate. He tried to open your door, but it was crushed inward, trapping you in place. You heard him shout your name, but the sound felt distant, muffled, as though you were underwater. Seconds later everything went dark.
Tumblr media
You sat between Soobin and Minji, the faint hum of your mother bustling in the background. The whole room smelled of the kimchi stew your mom cooked for dinner. She placed the final dish down, her apron still tied loosely around her waist. “Soobin,” she said, smoothing a stray hair from her forehead and handing him a bowl of rice. “How was class today?”  
Soobin scooped a generous spoonful from the bowl, a smile spreading as he dug in. “It was fine. Professor Kim’s still trying to crush our souls with assignments, though. I’ll probably have to pull another all-nighter.”  
Minji snorted, leaning across the table with a teasing grin. “When do you not pull all-nighters?” Soobin shot her a mock glare but didn’t argue. “The grind doesn’t stop,” he quipped.
You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “What grind?” you teased, nudging his shoulder with your own.  
The light banter bounced around the table, filling the room with laughter. Minji had just launched into a story about her teacher tripping during class when your father cleared his throat. The sound sliced through the warmth like a blade, dragging all attention toward him.
His focus was zeroed on you. You felt the weight of his question before he even opened his mouth. 
“How’s physio going?” he asked, his tone more like an accusation than a question.  
You kept your eyes on your plate, your fork idly pushing your food around. “It’s fine,” you said, trying to sound neutral. “I had a good session yesterday. I’m starting to put some weight on my foot.”  
Your father’s fork froze mid-air, his expression darkening: “You’re already putting weight on it?” he asked, his voice tightening with disapproval.  
“Yes, Dad,” you replied, bracing yourself. “That’s how rehab works. I don’t just stay on crutches forever.”  
His hand gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles whitening. “You’re rushing it. I’ve been around injuries my whole career. Just because the therapist said you can doesn’t mean you should.”  
The fork in your hand trembled, and you set it down with a clink. The heat of frustration prickled at the back of your neck. “I’m following the plan they gave me. They know what they’re doing.”  
Your father leaned forward, his voice rising. “No, they don’t. They don’t care about your long-term recovery. They just want you off their caseload so they can move on to the next patient.”  
Anger surged in your chest, hot and sharp. “You’re not a doctor,” you snapped, your voice cutting through the tension like shattered glass. “I trust them more than I trust you when it comes to my body.”  
The room fell into a suffocating silence. Minji’s hand hovered over her bowl, frozen mid-bite, while Soobin stared at his plate, his jaw clenched. You met your father’s gaze, refusing to look away.
His voice dropped to an icy calm, each word deliberate and cutting. “I’m just trying to keep you from making a mistake. But if you think you know better, fine. Just don’t come crying to me when you’re back in surgery.”  
His words struck like a slap, but you swallowed the hurt, refusing to let it show. You clenched your fists under the table and took a big breath. Soobin glanced at you and nudged your foot with his in a silent sign of support.
“Actually, I was thinking about something that might help you,” your father continued in a casual tone, as if the argument moments ago hadn’t happened.  
You blinked, caught off guard by the abrupt pivot. “What?”  “The athletic department needs someone for PR for the men’s hockey team,” he said, his voice laced with an almost forced enthusiasm. “It’s a great opportunity for you to earn the credits you missed last semester.”  
Your stomach churned at the suggestion, the tension in the room amplifying tenfold. “No,” you said firmly.  “Dad, I really don’t want to do that. I’m not into hockey anymore. You know that.” “Why not? It’s a great way to get back into it. You did love it before the accident.” he pressed.
“You just answered your own question, Dad. Before the accident, I did love it.” You felt the frustration bubbling inside, fighting against the facade of calm you tried to maintain. 
Your mother interjected, her voice firm but caring. “Woosung, you need to ease off. Pushing her into this isn’t the answer. We talked about this before.” 
“Pushing? I’m just offering her a way back into something she once loved!” he snapped, his frustration mirroring your own. 
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, a mix of anger and hurt. “Mom, I appreciate you sticking up for me, but I can handle this. I do not want to do it, Dad.” 
Your father leaned back, crossing his arms. “I thought you might appreciate having something to focus on, a way to ease back in.” 
“It’s not about easing back in. It’s about not wanting to be part of that world anymore. I don’t want to help with hockey PR. I just want to focus on my studies and figure things out on my own,” you asserted, frustration edging your voice. 
Your father’s expression hardened, but you could see the concern behind it. “I just wanted to see you succeed. I thought this could help.” “It’s not what I need!” you exclaimed. “I’m tired of everyone expecting me to dive back into hockey just because I had so much potential. I don't have it anymore, okay? I need to figure out who I am without all of that. Helping with the team won't help me at all.”
“Fine,” he said curtly. “Do whatever you want.”  
The rest of dinner passed in an unbearable silence, the warmth and laughter from earlier now a distant memory. The clink of dishes and the faint hum of the kitchen fan were the only sounds as you counted the seconds until you could leave.  
When you finally stood to go to your room, your father called out from the living room, his voice gruff. “Y/N, just… don’t overdo it, okay? I don’t want to see you hurt again.”  
You paused in the doorway, the faint light from the hallway casting shadows across the room. “I know,” you muttered, the words hollow.  
As you made your way upstairs, the tightness in your chest refused to ease. In the sanctuary of your room, the air felt no lighter. You leaned back against your pillow, the familiar ceiling staring back at you. 
Tumblr media
The sound of skates scraping against the ice echoed faintly through the arena as Heeseung leaned against the boards, catching his breath. Practice had just wrapped up, and the team was filtering out of the rink, chattering about drills and weekend plans. Coach Choi stood near the bench, his clipboard tucked under his arm, his sharp gaze following the last few stragglers off the ice. “Heeseung, got a minute?” the Coach called, his deep voice carrying easily over the ambient hum of the arena. Heeseung turned, brushing a gloved hand over his damp hair. “Sure!” He stepped off the ice, his blades clinking against the rubber flooring as he approached. His Coach gestured for him to sit down.
“I have been thinking about the team’s image,” the Coach began, his tone casual but deliberate.  
Heeseung raised an eyebrow. “Image?”  
Coach nodded, tucking the clipboard under his arm. “Yeah. You boys are doing great on the ice, but you’re not just players—you’re prospects. Scouts, sponsors, even alumni donors—they pay attention to more than just your games. They want to see personalities, professionalism, something marketable for their teams.”  
Heeseung crossed his arms, leaning slightly against the boards. “I am aware, sir. But what does that have to do with me?”  The Coach gave a small smile, the kind that hinted at plans already set in motion. “I’ve been in touch with the athletic department. They agreed we need someone to handle the team’s social media—build a strong public image, keep things polished.”  
Heeseung tilted his head, curious. “A PR manager?”. He wasn’t aware that the team had the funds to hire a person to post a few pics of them on instagram to appease the sponsors. As the captain he was included in quite a few organizational meetings and has had to endure endless lectures about how the boys are not supposed to go overboard when partying because it shines a bad light on the whole team and how it could compromise the career of everyone there. But never had he heard anything about a PR manager. 
“Exactly. I was thinking of Y/N,” Coach said, nodding, “she is missing a few credits and this would be an easy and quick solution. That way we dont have to do interviews, since I do know my daughter quite well.” 
Heeseung blinked, caught off guard. He knew you, if only vaguely. You have met at a few team events over the last year and at a few parties. Soobin introduced you as his sister and warned everyone that you were off-limits. He knew that Beomgyu was quite close to you, so he assumed you weren’t off limits for everyone. The few conversations you had with him gave him the impression that you were quite fun. He also knew that you were hot. He respectfully checked you out a few times and then mentally bleached his eyes, when he realized whom he was looking at.
“Your daughter?” he asked your father, his coach.  
The Coach nodded, his expression softening slightly. “She knows hockey inside and out. And she’s good with this kind of stuff—social media, PR, that kind of thing. It’ll be good for her, and it’ll help the team.”  
Heeseung hesitated. He didn’t know you well enough to have an opinion, but he could guess that working alongside the team—especially under your father’s watchful eye—wouldn’t be simple. Soobin had told him that his father was quite overbearing with his sister after a car accident and how it's annoying the whole family. “Are you sure she wants to do this?” Heeseung asked carefully.  
Coach’s expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable passing across his face. “She’ll do fine. She’s been looking for something to focus on, and this is a good opportunity for her. Plus, it’s not like she’s starting from scratch—she grew up around this sport.”  
Heeseung nodded slowly, still uncertain. “Okay. What do you need from me?”  
“I need you to help make this transition smooth,” Coach said, his tone firm. “She’s going to be around a lot, and I don’t want her feeling like she’s an outsider. Make sure the guys treat her with respect, and if she needs anything, you help her out.”  
Heeseung frowned slightly. “You’re not asking me to babysit her, right?”  
Coach let out a low chuckle. “No, she doesn’t need babysitting. But you’re the captain. It’s part of your job to make sure the team stays cohesive. She’s here to help, not to be a distraction or a target.”  
Heeseung considered this for a moment, then nodded. “Got it. When does she start?”  
“Next week,” Coach said, his tone decisive. “The athletic department’s finalizing the details, but she’ll be here soon enough.”  
As he walked away, his thoughts lingered on the unexpected news. He knew having you around would be an adjustment for the team—and maybe for you, too. But if Coach trusted you to take on this role, then he’d make sure to give you a fair shot.  
Tumblr media
“Y/N! Over here!” Chaeryoung exclaimed when you entered the small café on campus the next day. The café had been closed for a few weeks after the original owner passed away, and his son had taken over. Many students visited the old barista more than once a week, and everyone had been distraught by the news of his passing. When his son reopened the café, getting a seat had become quite a challenge.
You slid into the booth opposite Chaeryoung and carefully set down your crutches, making sure they were out of the way of the bustling café. The warm aroma of coffee and fresh pastries enveloped you as you took a moment to soak in the familiar atmosphere. “Hi, guys! It's so nice to be back here. How was Kinesiology today? Did your presentation go well?”
“Ugh,” Yeji groaned, dramatically resting her head on your shoulder. “I don't even want to think about it. I thought I was okay until Sunghoon and EJ presented. Now I feel utterly incompetent.”
Chaeryoung chuckled, shaking her head with a teasing smirk. “You’re being dramatic! What did you expect? They’ve got that whole jock thing going for them.”
“Not to feel like an idiot because some utterly pretty hockey players have the time to create a more or less perfect presentation even though they don’t have time for anything but training and partying?” Yeji retorted, her voice rising in exasperation. She turned to you, her expression softening. “We already ordered for you. I hope you’re alright with hot chocolate?”
“Sure! Thank you, love. Also, Sunghoon isn’t a hockey jock, he’s an ice skater,” you reminded your friends with a knowing grin.
“Hockey, skating, yada yada, it’s all the same. They spend a lot of time on the ice,” Ryujin shrugged.
Lia leaned in, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Speaking of ice hockey players, I had international law with Jay today. He looked like he was going to slam his head into the table when Professor Binns started handing out the grading sheets for the exams. Did their game not go well last week?”
You shrugged, the corners of your mouth twitching up as you recalled the conversation with Soobin. “Considering my dad told Soobin relatively harshly he’s supposed to get his head back in the game, I assume it didn’t go well"
“Oh, bummer. That’s probably why they didn’t go to the swimming team’s party last weekend. It was wild!" Chaeryoung nodded, her enthusiasm infectious.
“What party?” you asked, genuinely curious, since you’d been out of town visiting your aunt in Riverfield.
“Felix invited us to a party at their house. Well, it started as a small meetup, but suddenly it wasn’t small anymore,” Chaeryoung explained, her eyes widening at the memory.
Yeji waved her hand dismissively. “You didn’t miss out on anything, though. We ended up leaving early because it got a little too crazy for my taste,” she said, accepting the steaming drinks from the waitress. 
You opened the door to your families house. The aroma of the reheated Samgyetang from the day before wafted through the air, instantly making your stomach growl.
“Hey, you’re back!” Soobin called from the living room, where he was sprawled on the couch, game controller in hand. He glanced up, pausing his game. “Did you bring me anything?”
You shook your head, laughing. “If you wanted something from Corner's Creek, you should have told me when we saw each other in the cafeteria.”
“Pfft, why should I even have to ask? If I were you, I’d bring my precious brother some cake without him having to ask,” he replied, flashing a cheeky grin. “How was the café? Still as good as when Mr. Yoon was there?”
“Yeah. His son changed a few of the drinks on the menu, but they sounded nice! And they now do those cookie croissant waffle thingies? Amazing, honestly.” You plopped down on the sofa next to your older brother, carefully lifting up your leg into a more comfortable position. Soobin made an interesting noise at the thought of eating one of those.
“Did you think about the internship offer Dad gave you? I heard him talking to Heeseung about it. How you’re missing credits and how he wants you to take it,” your brother asked, tone careful.
“Don’t get me started on it. He’s been pushing this internship with the hockey team on me like it’s life or death,” you said, stirring your chili absentmindedly.
“Maybe he just wants to connect with you.” Soobin’s tone softened. “He might think this internship is a way to bridge the gap. You know it’s his world—and it was yours too, before the accident.”
You sighed, leaning against the counter. “You’re starting to sound like him. Honestly, Soobin, that’s not supposed to happen until I’m an aunt to your kids. I just don’t care about hockey anymore. It feels like every time I turn around, it’s all about hockey, hockey, hockey.”
“Look, Y/N, I get it. But if you need those credits to graduate, maybe it’s worth considering.” He crossed his arms, looking at you earnestly. “If anyone gives you trouble, I’ll have your back. I’ll just remind them that I’m still the older brother and boss around here.”
You couldn’t help but laugh dryly. “Right, you’ll just walk in and be like, ‘Watch out, boys! Y/N’s brother is here!’” “Exactly!” He chuckled, and for a moment, the tension eased. “But seriously, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. If you can handle what you’ve been through, this internship is nothing.”
“Maybe. I just wish it didn’t feel so… forced,” you replied, blowing on the steaming food on your spoon. “I want to find something I’m passionate about. Also, it feels unfair to others who actually care about it. I’d be something of a nepo baby.”
“It’s just one semester. If you hate it, you can quit. But at least you’ll know you tried. Plus, who knows? You might end up being the best hockey PR person out there. I mean, what do you think I hear? Coach’s son playing in his team, the co-captain? Nepo baby runs in our blood."
You rolled your eyes again, but this time, there was a hint of a smile. “I’ll think about it, okay? But I’m not making any promises.” “Fair enough.” Soobin shrugged, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Just promise me you’ll at least consider it. Besides, it’s not like you have any better options right now.” You nodded slowly, knowing he was right. “Yeah, I guess.” After a night brooding over what Soobin said, you decided to go with it and accept the offer. He was right—if anything, it was just one semester, right? You’d get your credits, your dad would get off your back, and you’d have Soobin and your father, the literal coach, as backup if you needed it.
So after your last class the day after, you went to the ice rink and carefully knocked on the door to your father’s office. “Come in,” your father called through the closed door. You opened the door and pressed your lips into a tight smile when you saw him hunched over some documents
“Y/N,” he stood up, “how can I help you?”
You walked closer to his table and sat down in the chair across from his desk. “I talked to Soobin yesterday. About the internship.”
A moment of silence stretched on as your father waited for you to continue. “Did you decide to take up my offer?” he asked.
You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I decided to give it a shot. Just for one semester, though. I’m not promising anything beyond that.”
Your father’s expression shifted from anticipation to a mixture of relief and disappointment. “That’s great, Y/N! I really think this could be a good opportunity for you. You’ll learn a lot about PR and social media, and you might even discover a new passion.”
You rolled your eyes, already feeling the frustration bubbling up inside you. “Dad, it’s not about discovering a passion for hockey or PR. I just need the credits to graduate. I’m not expecting some life-changing revelation from this.”
“Then why even bother?” he retorted, crossing his arms defensively. “If you’re going into it with that attitude, you won’t get anything out of it.”
“Because I don’t want to keep disappointing you,” you shot back, your voice rising. “You’ve made it pretty clear that you think I should be involved in hockey somehow. This is just a way to keep the peace, right?”
Your father clenched his jaw, visibly frustrated. “I’m not trying to force you into anything, Y/N. I just thought you’d want to be part of something that means so much to our family. This isn’t just about hockey; it’s about being part of a team, a community.”
You leaned forward, your palms pressing against the cool surface of his desk. “But I don’t want to be part of that community, Dad! Not anymore! All I ever hear from you is hockey, hockey, hockey. I care about things other than hockey.”
He stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back with a loud scrape. “I didn’t mean to put that pressure on you. But you need to understand that I’m proud of what I do, and I thought you’d want to be a part of it. I thought maybe being around the team would help you feel less isolated."
You stood too, feeling a mixture of anger and hurt. “It’s not about your pride, Dad! It’s about my life and my choices. I don’t want to feel obligated to fulfill your expectations. I just want to be me. And for the record, I am not isolated. I have friends and a life! It’s just not hockey.”
He softened for a moment, and you could see the conflict in his eyes. “I know, Y/N. But you have to understand that I’m coming from a place of love. I want the best for you. I thought this would help you find your way, especially with how difficult things have been for you.”
“Maybe you need to let me find my own way instead of trying to steer me down the path you’ve laid out,” you said, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside you. For a moment, silence hung between you, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension.
“Okay,” he finally said, his voice quieter. “I’ll back off. But I hope you give this a real chance, for both our sakes.”
You nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. “I’ll try, Dad. But just know I’m doing this for me, not for you.”
He offered a tight smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Tumblr media
You arrived at the rink an hour earlier than scheduled, more out of nervousness than necessity. The familiar smell of the ice, mixed with the faint hum of the arena’s machinery, makes you stop for a second. Standing near the glass, you watched a few players skate laps. The sounds of blades cutting into the ice reverberate in the empty rink, and for a moment, you feel a pull in your chest. You press your crutches into the ground, standing straighter as you try to shake off the creeping frustration. You've gotten good at suppressing it over the years, convincing yourself that you’ve moved on.
“Are you lost or something?” You blink and turn to see Heeseung, standing a few feet away, looking amused. Lost in thought, you didn’t hear him approach until his voice interrupted your moment of self pity. You turned around and caught the moment where he recognized you.
“Y/N? Didn’t expect to see you here this early.” He settled his bag down next to you.
“I could say the same to you,” you replied, raising an eyebrow. “But I guess the captain needs to be the first one on the ice, right?”
Heeseung grinned and shrugged. “Part of the job,” he said, then nodded towards the rink. “Are you already trying to figure out how to make those losers good on Tiktok?”
You shifted your weight slightly, gripping your crutches a little tighter. “Something like that,” you muttered, glancing back at the ice.
He looked at you. “You sound thrilled.”
“Yeah, I am absolutely thrilled,” you said, your voice cool.
“Did your dad convince you to do this?”, his eyes softened a bit.
You didn’t know how much Heeseung already knew about your situation, how much Soobin or his friends that you were also close to have told him so you just shrugged: “Honestly? Kinda. But what can I say, I am here now so there is no turning back, right?”
“God wait until you get to know the others. You will regret your decision. I don’t think we have a lot of potential to be the Tiktok star your dad wants us to be.”, he chuckled
“God Hee, don’t remind me.”, you lean your head onto the glass that separated you and the rink, cringing at the cold sensation. He laughed out loud and patted your back. Someone shouted his name and he grabbed his gear from the floor, while you leaned back again.
“Alright,” he said, watching you with a curious gleam in his eyes. “I’ll leave you to do your very important PR duties. But, uh, if you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.” He pushed his hair out of his face and winked at you. You just rolled your eyes and bid him goodbye. 
Your office was a small, window-lit room with one side dominated by clutter. On the messy side, stacks of papers, unopened mail, and scattered office supplies covered multiple surfaces, including an old wooden filing cabinet. A half-empty bookshelf leaned under the weight of folders, some piled haphazardly on top of one another. Boxes of miscellaneous items were stacked in a corner, threatening to topple. In one corner stood a seemingly clean desk, which you assumed to be the one you would be working from. You settled in, trying to ignore the mess on the other side of the room, while pulling out your laptop to take a look at the team’s social media accounts. 
A few hours later, you found yourself sitting in front of a flipchart, surrounded by notes and scribbles of ideas for content. Your research had turned up dozens of trends and challenges that could work for the hockey team’s social accounts, but your enthusiasm was running low. The chair you were sitting on felt like it was designed for maximum discomfort, and you were seriously considering bringing your wheelchair the next time. You sighed, shifting your weight in a futile attempt to find a more comfortable position. Your hip started aching about 20 minutes ago.
Just then, the door creaked open slightly, and Heeseung’s head popped in. “You surviving in here?"
Without looking up, you muttered, “Barely. What do you want, Heeseung?”
He chuckled and stepped fully into the room, leaning casually against the wall. “Nothing much,” he said, flashing his trademark grin. “Just thought I’d check in. You know, make sure the new PR girl isn’t drowning in spreadsheets or choking on influencer jargon.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not drowning. Yet.”
“Well, that’s good,” he replied, pushing himself off the wall and taking a step closer to the desk. “Though you kinda look like you’re this close from walking out of here and never coming back.”
You snorted despite yourself, leaning back and stretching your arms. “Trust me. This chair? Torture. It makes me want to get out of here asap.”
As he moved closer, you noticed a faint, fresh scent—like soap and something woody, maybe a hint of citrus. He must have just showered. His hair was still damp, a little messy. He looked very attractive in the annoyingly bright light of your office.
Heeseung pulled up a chair for himself and sat down across from you, resting his arms on the table. “So, what’s the plan? Are you trying to turn us into TikTok stars?”
You shrugged, gesturing to the flipchart. “That, or I’ll at least try to make sure you guys don’t look like total idiots online. There’s a fine line. A good start would be acceptable Instagram accounts. Tell me why some of you post random pictures of food with 20 filters slapped onto them.” You shifted in your seat, trying to ignore how nice he smelled, but it was hard not to notice. You weren't sure why, but it was definitely a little distracting. Get a grip, Y/N.
“Ah, come on,” he said, leaning forward with a grin. “We’re already halfway to ‘total idiots.’ You’ll just make us look... what? Funny idiots? Also my Instagram is pretty and aesthetic!”
“Something like that,” you muttered, unable to suppress a small smile. “I found some trends, figured we could hop on a few of them. I’ve got ideas for locker room Q&As, pre-game routines, that kind of thing.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a plan,” Heeseung said, nodding as he scanned the notes. “So, when do we start?”
“We?” you scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Last I checked, I’m the PR person. You’re just the guy with a stick trying to hit a rubber thingy.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Come on, Y/N. You’ll need my charming face to pull off half of these ideas.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes again, though it was becoming less from irritation and more out of habit. “Oh yeah, because that’s exactly what’s going to save this campaign—your charm.”
“Admit it,” he teased, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms. “You know I’m right.”
“Admit what? That you’ve got an ego the size of this rink?” you shot back, shaking your head. “Yeah, no thanks.”
Heeseung grinned, clearly unfazed by your sarcasm. “Hey, can’t blame a guy for knowing his strengths.” You let out a soft chuckle. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Heeseung."
He stood up, stretching lazily, and you noticed how his shirt pulled just slightly across his chest. You quickly averted your eyes, but not before catching the way his muscles shifted beneath the fabric. Okay, yeah. Definitely kind of hot. 
“Alright, alright. I’ll leave you to your spreadsheets and dance challenges. But seriously, if you need anything—or, you know, some extra ‘charm’—you know where to find me.”
You smirked, shooing him toward the door. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now go away, I’ve got real work to do.”
He threw you a mock salute as he backed out of the room. “Yes, ma’am. Just don’t forget to give me a heads-up when you need me to be the face of your operation.” “Don’t hold your breath,” you called after him, shaking your head as the door closed behind him.
Tumblr media
The next day, you were sitting at a round table in the student library, your textbooks spread out in front of you, trying to focus on the notes for your upcoming exam. Chaeryong sat next to you, furiously typing something into her laptop, while Beomgyu, who had already given up on studying, leaned back in his chair with his phone in hand, holding your injured leg on his lap. You sighed and leaned back in your chair, finally breaking the silence. "I took that internship, by the way."
Ryujin looked up from her screen, raising an eyebrow. "The hockey one?"
You nodded. "Yeah, the PR thing for the men’s team. Dad convinced me, and Soobin kind of guilted me into it too. It’s only for a semester, so I figured I might as well."
Beomgyu snorted, glancing up from his phone. "Oh boy, you’re going to be stuck with us now. We’ll have to treat you like royalty, Coach’s daughter."
You rolled your eyes. "Please don’t. The last thing I need is people treating me any differently."
"Don’t worry," Beomgyu grinned, his eyes playful. "I’ll make sure the team knows to mess with you as much as possible. No special treatment."
Before you could continue, the conversation was interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice.
“Hey, there you are!” Soobin’s tall frame came into view, followed closely by Yeonjun, who stopped behind Chaeryoung to press a kiss onto her head: ”Hi baby.”
She glanced at them, unimpressed. “What’s this about?"
“We’re kidnapping them,” Yeonjun said with a smirk, gesturing at you and Beomgyu. “Coach needs everyone at practice, and Y/N here has a meeting with the team.”
Beomgyu groaned, half-joking as he packed up his things. “And here I was, hoping to spend my afternoon in peace. Guess not.”
You, however, were a little more reluctant. “Wait, I thought I didn’t have to do anything with the team until later this week? I haven’t finished on collecting my thoughts? I am starting from 0 and i am not investing my free time into research?”
Soobin shook his head, grinning. “Nope, the sooner you meet everyone, the better.”
Chaeryoung leaned back in her chair, laughing. “Good luck with that, Y/N. You’re going to need it.”
You shot her a look before standing up, grabbing your crutches, and letting Soobin lead the way.
The locker room door swung open and the noise (and borderline disgusting smell) hit you all at once— talking, laughing, skates clinking. Yeonjun clapped his hands together and announced dramatically, “Alright, listen up! We have a very important guest today.”
Beomgyu chimed in, “Try not to scare her off, okay? She’s family. Like in a literal and theoretical way.”
You rolled your eyes at their antics but couldn’t help smiling. These two were practically brothers to you—they spent so much time at your house growing up that your mom would always joke that she had three sons instead of one. When all three of them got accepted into the sports scholarship Delicis offered your parents threw a party for their sons, which ended in all of you crashing over at Yeonjuns place after you all drank a bit too much of the sparkling wine. Just the thought of the day after made your stomach upset. 
Heeseung, sitting on a bench tying his skates, looked up and spotted you. He grinned at you as he stood up, leaning casually against the lockers. “Hey, if it isn’t our new PR expert. Early again. You sure you’re not secretly excited to be here?”
You scoffed, leaning into your crutches a bit. “No, Heeseung, I’m not excited to be here. I was kidnapped and should be studying econ right now.”
Jay, who was in the same economy course as you, groaned. "Please don't remind me. I feel like I am at least 10 weeks behind and the semester started four weeks ago."
A few of the guys laughed, but Soobin interrupted them: “Alright, listen up,” he said, his voice carrying authority. “Y/N’s going to be helping us with PR this season. Treat her with respect and do what she says, got it?”
Trying to ease your own discomfort, you forced a smile and crossed your arms. “Look, I’m just here to do my job. I won’t annoy you all too much!”
One of the players, EJ?, leaned back against the lockers with a smirk. “Does that mean we are going to be the next Charlie D’amilio?”
You laughed, unable to help yourself. “That depends. Can you dance?”
Jake, still sitting with his skates half-done, quipped, “I’d pay to see EJ try to pull off one of those TikTok dances.” The room erupted in laughter and you felt some of the tension in your shoulders release at the sound.
Tumblr media
A few days later, you opted to skip class after an especially grueling session of physiotherapy. You lay sprawled on the worn sofa in Ryujin’s appartment, breathing in the comforting aroma of spaghetti carbonara simmering in the kitchen.
You called out over the sizzling bacon, “I swear to God. I can feel the bruises coming. My legs and my left ass cheek are going to be black and blue tomorrow. I won’t be able to properly sit down!”
“Nobody is seeing your legs or your ass, girl. Just wear a pair of pants, and the problem is solved,” Ryujin shot back, stirring the pan with a wooden spoon. The warm, buttery smell mingled with the salty scent of bacon, making your stomach growl in anticipation.
“Unless you want to show someone your ass?” she teased, glancing back at you with a playful smirk.
“Not really. Who would want to see my blue and black scarred arse unprompted? Do you want to see? I’ll undress just for you, baby. Magic Mike style. Magic Y/N!” You wiggled your eyebrows, shifting the frozen chickpeas from your ankle to heave yourself into your wheelchair.
Ryujin rolled her eyes, laughing as she scooped the cooked pasta into the pan. “I love you, and I have seen plenty of your naked ass already, but I don’t need you to erotically strip for me, Y/N. You are not really my type, I’m sorry.”
You clutched your chest in mock offense. “You wound me, Ryujin!”
“Ha ha! I’m sure we can find someone who would like to see your ass. There are plenty of hot guys on campus that are horny 24/7,” she shot back, glancing over her shoulder as she added a sprinkle of cheese to the mix.
“Sure. And 25 of them are on the hockey team,” you deadpanned, your mind wandering to the group of boys you were now working with. The thought of the players made you chuckle to yourself.
“I mean, sure. But all 25? Soobin is part of that horny group as well?” Ryujin handed your cutlery.
“Honestly? Yeah. I mean, Dad is pretty strict with him and Minji about dating since he thinks they would get distracted, but Soobin definitely appreciates some good-looking arses. Not mine, though. That would be disgusting.” You shuddered at the thought.
“Girl. Ew,” Ryujin replied flatly, shaking her head, and you both burst into laughter.
Tumblr media
A few hours later, you rolled into the rink, greeted by the sound of skates scraping against ice and the faint scent of sweat. The boys’ training session was already in full swing, punctuated by grunts and your dad’s authoritative voice barking out encouragement and critiques. Navigating your way through the rink was fairly manageable in your wheelchair. You opted to maneuver around the rink rather than suffer through sitting on that demonic seat in your office for a few hours, especially after gaining a few bruises on your behind and legs. Seriously, your physiotherapist could have not put her entire body weight on her elbow. You didn’t care that it would help your muscles relax? About every muscle in your body was tensed while she tried to relax one in your arse?
You had asked your dad for a few items from home to make the room feel a bit more inviting. You made him buy some more plants and a floor lamp for a more comfortable light source.  A cherry and a pink dinosaur sonny angel were sitting on your desk alongside the greenery. You brought printed pictures of your friends and various art prints, but without your crutches, you decided to leave the task of hanging them up for another day. If you were to work here for the next six months you could definitely personalize the room a bit. 
You were mid-scroll through your R&B playlist when you heard a light knock on your office door. Without looking up, you called out, “Come in!”
Yeonjun poked his head in, flashing his usual grin. “Hello my dearest Y/N!”
Behind him, Soobin and Beomgyu strolled in, still in their sweaty practice gear, looking completely worn out. Beomgyu flopped dramatically into the chair near your desk that Heeseung never put back. “Yeah, sure, come in and just take over my whole workspace with your stinky gear,” you teased, though you didn’t mind the company.
Beomgyu groaned, stretching his legs out like he owned the place. “This break isn’t long enough. Coach is killing us out there. I swear I’m going to die.”
Soobin rolled his eyes, perching on the edge of your desk while Yeonjun leaned against the wall. “You’ll survive. We’ve had worse drills.”
Yeonjun smirked. “Speak for yourself. I’m not built for this much cardio.”
You laughed. “Maybe you should stick to dancing for TikTok, Yeonjun. You know, where you can actually breathe.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “That’s where my talents really shine. Wait until you see the TikToks I’ll be making for the team.”
When it was time for the boys to go back into the rink all three of them groaned. Beomgyu let out an exaggerated sigh. “I’m not moving from this chair. I don’t care that its uncomfortable.”
Yeonjun glanced around the room, raising an eyebrow at the mismatched furniture. “Speaking of uncomfortable... this office is seriously lacking. We need to get Coach to clear out the second half of the room so we can put in a sofa or something.”
You glanced at the cluttered back half of the office, filled with old sports equipment, boxes, and random items. “You’re not wrong. This place could use some serious cleaning.”
Beomgyu perked up. “Oh, a sofa would be amazing. We could take naps during breaks.”
You grinned, but gave Soobin a playful push toward the door. “Okay, okay, design committee. Go back to practice before Dad drags you out of here himself.”
As they shuffled out, Beomgyu gave you a lazy salute. “We’ll be back with a proposal for the Coach!” You laughed, shaking your head as they left the room, leaving you in the quiet once again
Tumblr media
Heeseung had been at the rink longer than usual tonight. After practice had officially ended, he stayed behind for some extra drills, working on his shots while his mind wandered.
He was standing in the shower after, letting the hot water wash away the tension from his muscles. The clean scent of soap and his woodsy cologne clung to him as he dressed, ready to finally head home. He was on his way out, thinking about his bed, when he saw the light still on in your office room.
He peered through the open door and saw you still at your desk, your face illuminated by the glow of your laptop. He hadn’t expected to see you there so late. Most of the team had left, and the rink was practically deserted. What were you still doing here?
He knocked lightly on the doorframe. “You’re still here?” You glanced up, looking more exhausted than surprised.
“You too?” you shot back, though there was a flicker of warmth in your tired eyes. “I thought everyone had gone home by now.”
“I did some extra laps,” he said with a lazy smirk as he stepped inside, making his way over to your desk, his damp hair falling slightly into his eyes. His eyes drifted across the various decorations you had brought into the office. He picked up one of the tiny figurines from your desk and turned it over in his hand with a grin. “What’s with these little guys? A personal touch?”
You gave him a mock glare, clearly more amused than offended. “They’re called sonny angels, and yes, this office was depressing. I needed to liven it up.”
Heeseung laughed softly, putting the figurine back down carefully. “Why would you bring naked angles.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Don’t make fun of my babies. Besides, I’m pretty sure a pink dinosaur would look amazing in your locker. Might even give you a few extra goals on the ice.”
Heeseung laughed, setting the figure down gently. “Oh, for sure. Nothing screams ‘fearless hockey captain’ like a pink dinosaur mascot.”, he sat down on the edge of your desk, “So, what’s keeping you here so late?”
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “Just finishing up a presentation for the team. It’s taking longer than I thought.”
Heeseung glanced over at the cluttered desk, noting the piles of papers and sticky notes you were using. “And you couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
“Nope. I like torturing myself,” you said dryly, then raised an eyebrow as he continued to toy with one of the angels. “Are you done judging my office decor now?”
Heeseung twirled the figurine in his fingers, then squinted at it. They did look cute, somehow. “I mean, I’ve got questions. First off, what’s up with this one?” He held up a small pink angel wearing a dinosaur costume. “Did you really choose this? And why is the other one naked?”
You groaned, rolling your eyes. “No! I wanted the red dinosaur one but kept getting the pink one instead. Three times! So, this is what I’m stuck with. And honestly I am not sure but they are cute.”
Heeseung laughed, genuinely amused by the annoyance in your voice. “So you’re telling me this cute little thing is the result of failure? That’s tragic.” He shook his head, mock-sympathetic, before placing the pink dinosaur angel thing back on your desk with exaggerated care
“Tragic doesn’t even cover it,” you replied with a deadpan expression. “I have one in my room, one in my car, and now this sad thing is stuck here, reminding me of my poor luck every day.”
Heeseung chuckled. “Well, pink dinosaur or not, it’s got character.” You just laughed at that. He watched you for a moment, noticing how your shoulders were slightly hunched. His gaze dropped to the wheelchair you were sitting in. He hadn’t seen you in it much before today. You usually relied on crutches when you were out and about. His curiosity got the better of him: “You alright today?” he asked, his voice softer now. “Saw you using the chair earlier. Tough day?”
You hesitated, and for a moment, he thought you wouldn’t answer. But then you sighed, leaning back in your chair. “Physio was brutal. Sometimes it’s just easier to use the chair instead of crutches. Less strain, you know?”
Heeseung nodded slowly, processing your words. His chest tightened a little at how nonchalantly you explained it. Like it was just another part of your day, no big deal. He wished he could ask more—about what happened, how you went from being an athlete to sitting in this chair—but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It wasn’t his place, and he wasn’t about to make you relive something painful just to satisfy his curiosity. He couldn’t imagine having to adjust to something like that, especially after living a life as active as yours. Soobin claimed you were good—like, really good, that you had a future in hockey, but... He shook the thought away, not wanting to dwell on what you had lost. It didn’t seem fair, and it wasn’t something he could fix.
“You know,” he said, looking around in the room. “This office still feels so crammed and uninviting. You need a couch or something.”
You raised an eyebrow, your playful smirk returning. “A couch, huh? You are the second person to tell me that today?”
He grinned, setting the picture back down. “Actually, Yeonjun and I were thinking about it even before you had the office. We need to get Coach to clear out the junk on the other side of the room so we can move in a couch. You’d have a nice place to chill while pretending to work.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “And by ‘chill,’ you mean take naps, right?”
“Exactly. I’d probably use it more than you.” He made a mental note to talk to the Coach and Yeonjun about it. The two of them almost had the Coach to approve of their idea before it was decided you would move into this room. Honestly it was probably better for them to not have a sofa here. He got a headache when he thought of the prospect of finding people doing something unholy here.
Heeseung glanced at the clock. It was late—too late for you to still be working and for him to still be in the rink. He frowned, leaning back on the desk. “You’re not staying here alone, right?” he asked, his voice a little more serious.
You looked up. “I’m almost done. I’ll leave soon.
“Yeah, no,” Heeseung said, shaking his head. “I’m not leaving you here by yourself. It’s dark, and the rink is practically empty.”
You gave him a half-amused, half-exasperated look. “You’re not seriously going to babysit me, are you?”
He crossed his arms, standing firm. “Pretty much. I’m not letting you argue your way out of this.”
You sighed, clearly not in the mood to fight him on it. “Fine,” you relented, though he could tell you weren’t really annoyed. “But I’ll be here a while. I still have some things to finish.”
He grinned, leaning back on your desk like he had all the time in the world. “I’m great company, remember? Besides, someone’s gotta make sure your pink angel dinosaur thingy doesn’t run away.”
You laughed, shaking your head in mock disbelief. “I think I can handle my own angels, but... thanks.” He plopped himself down in your empty office chair, watching as you worked, occasionally teasing you about the presentation or critiquing the décor you’d added to the room.
Tumblr media
When you stepped into the rink after your classes on Thursday, the first thing you noticed was Jay, EJ, and Beomgyu hauling the old wooden filing cabinet that had been collecting dust in your office. They were making quite the effort, each one grunting as they maneuvered the bulky piece of furniture toward the exit. All three were struggling, shouting different variations of "Hey!" as they saw you walk in.
“Hi! What's going on here?” you called out, laughing a little at the sight.
Beomgyu glanced back at you, a proud grin on his face. “We’re upgrading your office!” he shouted, nearly dropping his end of the cabinet as they stumbled toward the exit.
“Oh?” you scrunched your nose in confusion.
On your way to your office, you passed a couple more of the boys—Taehyun, Jake, and even Sunghoon—all carrying random bits of old furniture and equipment that must’ve been living in your office forever. The rink seemed unusually lively for an off day.
When you finally stepped into your office, you were met with the sight of Soobin, Heeseung, and Yeonjun cleaning the floor of the cluttered side of the small room. While Jay was reading the instructions to the frame of a ikea sofa, which was still in its parcells leaned next to the door.
You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. “Okay, seriously… What’s going on?”
Soobin shot you a sheepish grin. “Well, I figured that after Dad basically forced you and I guilt tripped you into accepting the internship, the least we could do is make this place less awful.”
“So we talked to Coach Lee,” Heeseung added, clearly amused by the situation. “And your dad.” He grinned, standing with his arms crossed, looking far too pleased with himself. “And guess what? You’re getting a sofa. A nice one too.”
Your eyebrows shot up.
“Yeah, well,” Soobin jumped in, “Coach Lee kind of convinced him. Said you needed a place to rest. And since Dad’s all for you being extra careful, he gave in. Reluctantly. He wasn’t thrilled, but he said yes.”
Yeonjun smirked from his spot against the desk. “So, congratulations on your sofa.”
You blinked, still trying to process. “You really convinced him to get you your sofa? For the record, that was fully your idea, I did not wish for one.” You looked around, almost not believing it.
Yeonjun, who had been lounging on the cleared desk, leaned forward. “Hey, we’re doing this for you, alright? You deserve a place to chill. But, you know... if a nap happens here or there...”
“Yeah, I figured,” you teased, rolling your eyes, “of course. You’re all just so thoughtful.” But despite your playful tone, you really were touched. They’d gone through the trouble of getting permission from your dad, which was no easy task, and now they were basically transforming your workspace into something a lot more comfortable.
Soobin shrugged, feigning indifference. “Hey, at least now you won’t be stuck in this depressing office.”
“Yeah,” Heeseung chimed in, his grin growing wider. “And now you’ll have even more space for your red dinosaur angel collection.”
Yeonjun gasped theatrically, hand over his heart like you’d just broken some unspoken rule. “Wait, wait, wait—you pulled the red one and didn’t tell me? What kind of betrayal is this?”
You groaned, already regretting letting them see your desk decorations,“They’re Sonny Angels!" You sighed, shaking your head. “I didn’t pull the red one, Yeonjun.”
Heeseung chuckled, walking over to your desk, picking up one of your Sonny Angels. “Well, when you do, make sure to put it right here. It can be the centerpiece of the whole office.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, but the teasing was making it hard to stay serious. “I’m not turning this office into a shrine for my Angels, but thanks for the suggestion.” Jay snickered from where he was now heaving one parcel towards Heeseung.
Soobin knocked his shoulder into yours, “Honestly, Y/N. Your office was lacking big time. We gave it some character!”
“Yeah,” Yeonjun added with a grin, “and when we’re not napping in here, you can totally use it too.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Gee, thanks. I’ll make sure to reserve my own office for whenever you’re not busy.”
Despite all the teasing, you felt your chest warm with appreciation. The fact that they went out of their way to make sure you’d be comfortable, going as far as convincing both the coach and your dad—meant a lot.
“Seriously though,” you said, looking between them, “thank you. I really appreciate it.”
Heeseung waved you off, but his smile was genuine. “Hey, anything for the team’s PR girl. You are able to ruin everyone's reputation in here.”
“And we can’t let you suffer in this sad office,” Soobin added with a smirk.
Jay stretched dramatically, shooting you a wink. “Now you can suffer in comfort.”
Tumblr media
Heeseung wiped the sweat from his brow after the grueling training session, his legs heavy and tired from the extra drills. It was as if your dad had dialed up the intensity after seeing the boys have a bit of fun with you earlier. Heeseung chuckled at the memory of EJ’s goofy dance moves, knowing full well that your father had caught wind of their little behind-the-scenes moment. "No fun allowed," he thought wryly, shaking his head. Heeseung wasn’t the Coach’s biggest fan. He was too strict, especially when they lost, and lately, his overprotectiveness toward you had only made things tenser. Heeseung got it, though. It couldn’t be easy to see his daughter in a wheelchair after being an athlete herself, but still, the coach’s comments were always a little too pointed, a little too controlling.
Pushing those thoughts aside, Heeseung found himself walking toward your office, knowing that even though the rest of the rink was quiet and nearly empty, you’d probably still be there, editing videos or catching up on schoolwork. It had become a familiar routine over the last few weeks—after most of the team had left, Heeseung would often wander up to find you, usually hunched over your laptop, absorbed in your work. Sure enough, when he knocked lightly and poked his head in, there you were. Your wheelchair was parked near the desk, and you had your laptop open with a few TikTok videos you’d been editing playing on repeat.
"Hey," Heeseung greeted, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “Still working?”
You glanced up from your screen, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Yeah, just editing some stuff for the ‘Get to Know the Player’ series. I can’t believe I got EJ to do that dance.”
Heeseung laughed at the memory, throwing himself onto the sofa that had recently appeared in your office.
"I am just trying to make sure I don’t accidentally make EJ look too good at dancing.”, you shrugged and replayed the video.
Heeseung snorted, pulling up a show he’d been watching lately. “You couldn’t make him look good at dancing even if you tried. He’s a lost cause.”.
You laughed out loud, shaking your head as you saved your work. “I think it’s charming. And it’s getting views, so…”
“Of course it is,” Heeseung said, grinning. “The team’s already loving the content. They’ll do anything for their fifteen seconds of fame.”
He stretched out on your sofa, letting out a loud, exaggerated groan as he sunk into the cushions. You smiled but kept your focus on the screen. Heeseung clicked on the latest episode of the new season of The Walking dead he’d been binge-watching, fully knowing he should probably be writing his essay on whatever topic his professor had picked out instead. But the idea of opening his laptop right now made him feel even more exhausted.
As the show played, Heeseung made occasional comments under his breath, reacting to the twists and turns of the plot. You were typing away, seemingly ignoring him, until he let out a surprised “No way he died!”
You glanced up, narrowing your eyes. “Heeseung, don’t spoil anything! I’m not caught up yet.”
He looked at you with mock innocence. “I didn’t spoil anything! I just… reacted.”
“Uh-huh, sure,” you muttered, trying to focus on your work. But Heeseung did not want to keep quiet. He quite enjoyed your attention on him so he occasionally gasped and muttered exclamations, making you groan in exasperation. “Heeseung, seriously! Shut up! If you spoil anything for me, I’m never letting you nap in here before training.”
Heeseung laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright! No spoilers, I promise.”
You fell into a comfortable silence again, with Heeseung watching his show and you finishing your work. He was trying to pay attention, but his eyes kept gazing over and he was about to fall asleep. It wouldn't be the first time that he actually took advantage of the sofa to take a nap. Last week he had a free period before his training session and decided to go to the rink to train on his own a bit. Instead of training you lured him into your office with the offer of cupcakes you baked and after talking for a bit you continued working on an essay and he took the chance to take a quick nap.
“You good?” you asked, saving your work and closing your laptop.
Heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah… I mean, I guess. I’m just tired. Like, really tired.”
You looked at him sympathetically. “Long day?” “Yeah, and school’s just... killing me right now. I’ve got so much work to do, and I’m so behind. But I can’t seem to get motivated to do anything. I was supposed to write an essay tonight, but I’ve been lying here watching Netflix instead.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Sometimes it feels like there’s just too much going on all at once.”
Heeseung rubbed his face with both hands, feeling the weight of everything he hadn’t done start to press down on him again. “It’s just... I don’t know. Between hockey and school, and trying to keep up with everything else, it’s exhausting. And I know I should be doing more, but sometimes I just want to do nothing.”
You tilted your head, giving him a soft smile. “You’ve been doing a lot, though. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, Heeseung. It’s okay to take a break.”
He gave you a grateful smile but didn��t say anything for a moment. Then, after a pause, he spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “I just… don’t want to let anyone down, you know? The team, my professors, the coach, everyone expects me to be perfect.”
“Well, for what it’s worth,” you said gently maneuvering your wheelchair to the sofa, “I don't think you’re letting anyone down. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.”
Heeseung let out a long breath, nodding slightly as he made space for you to sit down next to him. “Thanks,” he muttered.
“It's been a rough day for you too? If you are sitting in the wheelchair?” Heeseung asked, steering the conversation away from himself for a moment.
You hesitated for a moment before shrugging. “I’m just tired. Physio’s been rough lately, and I guess it’s catching up to me. My dad’s been extra… you know, ‘Dad’ about it all.”
Heeseung hummed, understanding what you meant. The coach could be intense. You smiled faintly, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. You were quiet for a moment before speaking again, your tone a little more subdued. “It’s been rough. I try not to complain too much, but… today’s just one of those days.”
He nodded, feeling a small pang in his chest. He wanted to ask more, to understand what exactly you were going through, but he didn’t want to pry too much. Instead, he carefully asked a question that had been lingering in his mind since Soobin had mentioned it in passing. “I know this might be a bit personal, but... Soobin told me you used to play before the accident.” he said carefully, gauging your reaction. “I mean, with your family, it makes sense, but… I don’t know. It must’ve been hard, having to stop.”
Your eyes flicked toward him, and for a moment, Heeseung wondered if he’d crossed a line. But then, to his surprise, you nodded. “Yeah, it was,” you said quietly, your voice a little strained. “I did. I was on the ice all the time. It was my life, honestly. And then… well, then the accident happened.” You paused, seeming to gather your thoughts. Heeseung stayed silent, letting you continue at your own pace. “It was a car accident. We were hit by a drunk driver,” you said, your voice tightening slightly, as you pull your uninjured leg towards your chest. “I-most of my left leg was jammed up and stuck in the wreck. And that was it. No more ice hockey. No more running around. Everything changed after that.”
“I’m so sorry,” Heeseung said softly, not really knowing what else to say. His heart clenched at your words. He could only imagine how hard it must’ve been for you, growing up in a family so deeply rooted in hockey, only to have that taken away after the accident. He’d seen firsthand how strict and overprotective your dad could be.
You gave him a small, sad smile. “It’s okay. I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it. Doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. I mean I was pretty lucky.”
Heeseung nodded, wanting to say something that would make it better, but knowing there were no magic words that could fix something like this.
You shrugged: "It’s tough sometimes, but I’m finding new things to love. Like, I never thought I’d enjoy editing TikToks and running the team’s social media, but it’s been fun.”
Heeseung smiled back at you, “Well, for what it’s worth, we’re all really glad you’re here,” he said sincerely. He was glad you were there but he wanted to kick himself for saying something as cringe as that.
You blinked, a small smile playing on your lips. “Thanks, Heeseung.”
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the weight of the conversation hanging between you, but it was a comfortable silence—one that came from understanding, from knowing they didn’t have to say everything all at once.
Finally, Heeseung broke the quiet. “Alright, I’m gonna shut up and stop spoiling.”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Thanks. But seriously, don’t you dare spoil anything. I’ll never forgive you.”
Heeseung grinned, leaning back on the sofa, feeling a little lighter. “Deal."
Tumblr media
"Coffee? Or hot chocolate?”
Heeseung looked up from his textbook, startled as you stood in front of him, holding out two cups. His brows furrowed, clearly confused. “I didn’t ask for—”
“I know,” you cut him off quickly, setting the cups down beside him. “But you looked like you needed it.”
He blinked at you, processing for a moment. “Thanks,” Heeseung finally said, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small, relieved smile. “But… why?”
You let out a breathy laugh, feeling a little more at ease now that he wasn’t brushing you off. “Last night,” you said, shifting on your feet, “I figured I owed you something after you waited for me and drove me home even tho you were dead tired.”
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, taking the coffee cup from the table, but his expression softened. “You didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t even that bothered.”
“I know,” you mumbled, “but it felt like I should do something. To, you know, thank you.”
He took a sip, then paused, a playful look flashing across his face. “Coffee’s fine.” He took a sip.” What would you have done if I’d taken the hot chocolate?” He gave you a knowing smile. “I know you don’t drink coffee.”
Your stomach dropped for a moment, and you tried not to look as flustered as you felt. How did he even know that? “Wait—how did you...?”
Heeseung’s smile widened, leaning back in his chair like he’d just won something. “You didn’t think I’d notice? You tend to bring tea or hot chocolate to the office. No matter how late.”
Your heart skipped a beat at that, and you looked away, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. You hadn’t realized he’d paid that much attention. “I—well, I would’ve managed,” you replied, shrugging a little too nonchalantly. “But I’m glad you took the coffee because, yeah, I don’t like it.”
Heeseung chuckled, his gaze lingering on you a little longer than usual. “What, you were really going to choke it down just to make me feel better?”
You gave him a half-hearted glare. “I was trying to be nice, okay?”
His laughter softened, his expression turning more gentle. “Sure, the brave Y/N drinking coffee just for me.”
“Hey!”, you hit him softly and tried to ignore how warm your cheeks felt. You were praying that your foundation did its job properly today.
Heeseung grinned, and the atmosphere between you shifted slightly, the playful teasing replaced with something more sincere. “Well, thanks for the coffee,” he said, his voice softer now.
You glanced at Heeseung’s open book, his pages cluttered with scribbled notes and highlighted passages. “You’ve been here a while, huh?” you asked, leaning forward to peek at his notes, feeling guilty for distracting him.
Heeseung sighed dramatically, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, midterms are killing me. I’ve been staring at this stuff for hours, but I swear, none of it’s sticking.”
You tilted your head, sympathizing. “I feel that. Econ made me want to throw my laptop out of my window yesterday and i had to resign to finish a episode of TWD. Are you done with the season?”
At that, Heeseung’s face brightened. “Oh, I finished the last episode last night. I swear i didn’t think—”
“If you spoil it, I will fight you,” you interrupted, narrowing your eyes at him.
Heeseung burst into laughter, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, no spoilers! But seriously, you need to catch up soon. I want to know your reaction.”
You bit your lip, debating for a moment before offering, “Well... do you want to rewatch the last like 5 episodes? You could see my reactions in real time then?"
His eyes lit up at your suggestion, and you felt a flutter of excitement in your chest. “I’d love that! How about we do it tonight? I could whip up some snacks, and we can binge-watch the last few episodes.”
You hesitated, suddenly aware of how casual he was making it sound. “Uh, yeah, but only if we actually study before we watch. I have a few things I want to get done today.”
“Absolutely,” he agreed, nodding seriously, though a smile tugged at his lips.
The idea of going over to his place made your heart race a little faster. “Alright. Then I’ll see you later,” you said, glancing over at him once more, trying to ignore the warmth rising in your cheeks.
Tumblr media
What was he thinking? Heeseung couldn’t believe himself. He had invited you over and casually mentioned he could whip up some snacks?
After his last class of the day, he raced into his dorm, the realization hitting him like two hours too late. Jake and Jay were sprawled across the dinner table with their books and laptops, completely oblivious to the chaos about to unfold. Heeseung nearly slammed the entrance door against the wall as he burst in. “Guys, I might have messed up!”
Jake blinked a few times, confusion etched across his face. “What happened?”
“I invited Y/N over to watch The Walking Dead,” he said, sliding off his coat. “And I told her I’d whip up some snacks. But our dorm is a disaster, and my room is even worse! She can’t come over!” Panic surged through him.
Jay stifled a laugh, clearly enjoying the drama. “So you want us to speed clean so you can impress the coach’s daughter?”
“Yes!” Heeseung exclaimed, already kneeling down to pick up the shoes littering the entrance. “Please, help a guy out. I can’t let her see this place!”
“Sure,” Jake said with a chuckle, standing up and grabbing the takeout boxes scattered around him. “Our dorm needs a cleaning session anyway. And honestly, I’m so done with thermodynamics right now. If I see another heat transfer mode, I might bang my head into a wall hard enough to skip out the next semester. I am suffering.”
Jay joined in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’ll take the living room and vacuum. Hyung, just focus on your room. I think we have chips in the pantry, so just use that as a snack.”
“Jay, you’re a genius. Thank you,” Heeseung said, practically sprinting to his room.
Once inside, he was greeted by the mess that was his room: clothes sprawled across the floor, bed, and desk, a collection of empty water bottles. On top of that, his hockey gear is spread all haphazardly around the room - gloves, sticks, and bags. He immediately began tackling the mess, grabbing clothes, checking which ones were clean which needed to be folded and put away. He picked up a discarded hockey glove and tossed it into a corner before realizing he’d have to deal with the smell somehow.
By the time he emerged from his room, he felt a sense of accomplishment. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it was a hell of a lot better than what it had been. He glanced over at Jay, who was in the living room, vacuuming with an exaggerated flourish. Just that second the shrill noise of their doorbell pierced through the air. 
Tumblr media
You stood in front of Heeseung’s dorm building, your gaze drifting up toward the tall, sleek structure. The place looked expensive—not surprising, given what you knew about his background. Heeseung’s parents were wealthy, and while you came from a comfortable home as well, this dorm definitely seemed a cut above.
As you approached the entrance, you felt a slight flutter of nerves you hadn’t expected. Pressing the elevator button for the twelfth floor, you shifted your weight onto your good leg, adjusting your crutches slightly. You didn’t really need your crutches anymore. Enough time has passed since your surgery for you to be able to walk only on your cast but you decided that going about your day and actually walking quite a bit was too much of a risk and took them with you anyway.
The ride up seemed to stretch on, giving you too much time to think. Over the past few weeks, you had grown used to Heeseung hanging out in your office, almost like it was his second home. Some days, he was already there when you finished your last class, quietly studying or taking notes. His presence had become a strange comfort, one that didn’t bother you. If anything, it helped you stay focused. But this—being invited into his space—felt like a new step, one that made your heart race a little. When you reached his door, you hesitated for a second, taking a deep breath. You could hear muffled voices and the sound of something being moved around inside. Whatever nervousness you felt, you quickly pushed it aside before ringing the doorbell.
The door swung open almost immediately, and there stood Heeseung, his warm, easy smile greeting you. Behind him, you could see Jake lounging in the kitchen and Jay standing nearby, holding a vacuum cleaner.
“Hi, Y/N!” Heeseung said, stepping aside to let you in, the others offering casual waves.
“Hey,” you replied, carefully stepping inside with your crutches. The moment you entered, your eyes quickly took in the space—it was neat. Really neat. Surprisingly neat for a guy’s dorm.
Heeseung must have noticed the slight lift of your eyebrows because he scratched the back of his neck, chuckling softly. “Yeah, uh… we did a little tidying up.”
“A little?” you echoed, amused as you glanced around again. “I’m impressed. I didn’t think your dorm would be this... organized.”
Before Heeseung could respond, Jake snorted from across the room, biting into a chip. “Yeah, sure. We always live this clean,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, earning a pointed side-eye from Heeseung.
You laughed, the sound easing the last bit of tension in the room. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like a dig. It’s just—well, I’ve seen my brother’s room?”
“You’re giving us too much credit,” Jay chimed in, leaning the vacuum against the wall.
Once you were in his room, you sat on the edge of the bed, noticing how tidy even his space was. The bed was made, his hockey gear wasn’t strewn everywhere like Sobbing usually is, and the usual hockey player smell was faint, replaced with something cleaner. You caught a subtle hint of Heeseung’s familiar cologne, woody but fresh.
You moved to sit on the bed but hesitated, leaning on your good leg. “Uh, mind if I sit? I don’t want to mess up your bed with my outside clothes.”
Heeseung waved it off with a casual shrug. “I don’t care about that. But if you’re worried about it, I can give you a pair of my joggers?”
You blinked, not really expecting that offer. “Oh... uh, are you sure?”
“Yeah, no big deal,” he said, already moving to his closet. He pulled out a pair of gray joggers and handed them to you with a smile. “Here, these should be comfy.”
You threw the joggers over your shoulder, feeling a bit strange but also kind of grateful. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”
After changing in the bathroom, you returned, feeling a little more at ease wearing his clothes, knowing you wouldn't mess his bed up with your outside clothing. You did care about that. The joggers hung low on your hips, the waistband slightly too big, but they were warm and comfortable. When you sat down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, Heeseung flopped down next to you, pulling out his iPad. “Alright, let’s get some studying done before we watch anything, or I’ll never hear the end of it.” You laughed, pulling out your own notes, though your focus was already wandering. The smell of his freshly laundered sheets, mixed with his subtle cologne and aftershave, was distracting you almost as much as his presence next to you.
For the next hour, you both settled into study mode. Heeseung was focused on his music theory notes, occasionally mumbling something about chord progressions or sound mixing, while you tried—really tried—to get through corporate governance. But after what felt like an eternity, your brain was officially fried. With a frustrated sigh, you tossed your notebook aside. “This is impossible. I need help with this. Do you think Jay’s busy?”
Heeseung raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “He’s probably still studying in the living room.”
You huffed and slid off the bed and made your way into the living room, where Jay was still hunched over his books. Jake had his headphones on, seemingly lost in his own world of equations.
“Hey, Jay, can you help me with something? Corporate governance is killing me,” you asked, sliding into the seat beside him.
Jay looked up, grinning. “Sure thing. What part are you stuck on?”
What was supposed to be a quick five-minute explanation stretched into ten, then fifteen. You had the gift to ask the right question to make everyone insecure in their explanations and answers and now Jay and you were confused. Great.
Eventually, you noticed Heeseung joining you. “You guys still going at it?” he asked, pulling up a chair next to you. “We’re just about done,” Jay said, pushing his notes aside.
Heeseung laughed. He settled in, flipping through his book, and soon enough, all four of you were studying together at the dinner table. It was surprisingly productive.
After a while, though, you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms. “Okay, I’m officially done. My brain can’t take any more.”
Heeseung set his book aside, looking just as exhausted. “Same here. Ready for some TWD?”
You nodded eagerly, feeling that familiar excitement bubble up again. As much as you tried to play it cool, you’d been looking forward to this part all day. Annoying Lia during your shared class and Beomguy during your break about how excited you were.
Back in his room, you climbed onto the bed again, this time letting yourself sink fully into the pillows and pulling the blanket over yourself. As you did, you caught that same scent of Heeseung’s cologne again. The coolness of the evening was creeping in, and without thinking, you shifted closer to Heeseung, stealing a little more of the blanket. He glanced at you with a small smile but didn’t say anything, his focus returning to the screen.
Tumblr media
Heeseung shifted slightly on the bed, stretching his legs as the second episode ended. He turned his head to ask you if you wanted to start another one, but when he glanced over, his breath hitched.
You were fast asleep.
For a moment, Heeseung just stared, not quite sure what to do. You had curled up against the pillows, still wrapped in his blanket, one arm tucked under your head. His heart skipped a beat.
You looked so peaceful. He didn’t want to move or make any noise that might wake you. Heeseung swallowed nervously and tugged at his own shirt collar, feeling a little too aware of everything suddenly—his breathing, the quiet hum of the room, the weight of the blanket. What was he supposed to do? Wake you up? Ask if you wanted to go back home? In a flash of pure panic, he grabbed his phone and opened up a text to Soobin.
Heeseung Hey man, Y/N fell asleep at my place. Is it cool if she stays over? I don’t want to wake her up.
Heeseung bit his lip, waiting for a reply, his eyes darting between the screen and your sleeping form. You looked so calm, your breathing steady, you looked so soft. It made his chest tighten in a way he didn’t quite understand. He wasn’t used to this, if he had girls over it wasn’t for watching TV Shows, nor did they just fall asleep. 
A soft buzz broke his thoughts as Soobin replied.
Soobin Hyung (New) She’s an adult, dude. I’ll let my parents know she’s sleeping over, though. Just tell her she owes me for covering for her.
Heeseung exhaled a sigh of relief, slumping back against the headboard. At least he didn’t have to deal with the wrath of an angry captain tonight. He stared at your peaceful face again, and a small smile tugged at his lips. You really were out cold. Carefully, he shifted closer, trying to tuck the blanket more securely around you without disturbing your sleep. He sent a quick thank you text to Soobin.
Heeseung tried to get comfortable, though he couldn’t ignore the fact that his heart was beating a little faster than usual. He was overthinking every tiny movement, wondering if shifting just a little might accidentally wake you up. Glancing over at you, the rise and fall of your chest was slow and steady, and he felt that strange, unfamiliar warmth in his chest again. He had no idea what to do with it. You were just there, peacefully sleeping, wrapped in his blanket, wearing his joggers, and somehow that made the moment feel more significant than it should. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. You were off limits. He shifted a little closer to the edge of the bed, carefully trying to give you more space without disturbing you. His phone buzzed on the nightstand. He reached for it, worried that it might be your brother again, but when he checked, it was just a message from Jake into their groupchat.
Puckin' Legends and Sunghoon  Jakey Jakey So? How’s the TV date going hyung Jeongsongie You owe us for cleaning the dorm in record speed. I dont think i ever vacuumed so quickly? Heeseung She fell asleep??  She is so cute tho But thanks for the help. Dorm looks way better now. And don’t call it a TV date?? We were literally studying before this.
He didn’t really mind the teasing—not anymore. At first, when they’d made comments about him spending a bit too much time with the coaches daughter, he’d felt awkward. But now, with you lying beside him, snuggled up under his blanket, he couldn’t bring himself to care. His phone buzzed again.
Hoon I still cannot believe you try to bag your coaches daughter. Jakey Jakey I don’t think the coach can believe it either Jeongsongie I cant believe how gone he is for her??? Did anyone read the she is so cute????
Heeseung rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, setting his phone down without replying. He wasn’t about to engage in that conversation right now. The soft light from the TV illuminated your face just enough for him to see. The way you’d tucked your hand under your cheek, your hair falling slightly over your face—it was… cute. His mind wandered back to earlier, to the way you’d laughed at his teasing or the look of concentration on your face while studying. You had a way of being fully in the moment, and it made him want to stay in those moments with you for as long as possible.
Heeseung closed his eyes, knowing that sleep wasn’t going to come easy, not when his brain was buzzing with thoughts of you. He took one more look at you, tucked under his blanket, your crutches leaning against the wall in the corner of his room. 
Tumblr media
You stirred awake, the room dark except for the dim glow of the TV screen that had long since gone idle, casting soft shadows around you. It took a second to remember where you were: Heeseung’s room. His bed. The blanket wrapped around you wasn’t yours. For a split second, panic rose—shit. You fell asleep in Heeseung’s bed? What time was it? How long had you been out? You turned slightly, glancing at Heeseung. He was still sitting next to you, back against the headboard, his eyes closed. You wondered if he had fallen asleep too. Rubbing your face in exhaustion, you felt a rush of embarrassment. This was the first time you were ever over at his place, and you had fallen asleep? Well done, Y/N. Truly.
Glancing at his dimly glowing alarm clock, you realized it was way past midnight. You tried shifting slightly, hoping to find a more comfortable position, but your leg wasn’t cooperating. Every attempt to adjust it left you either more uncomfortable or closer to waking Heeseung. Eventually, you gave in, trying to reposition your injured leg one last time. However, the slight rustling of the blanket stirred Heeseung beside you, his eyes fluttering open. For a moment, he looked confused, as if he’d forgotten where he was too.
“Y/N?” His voice was low and heavy with sleep, but still warm. He blinked a few times, trying to focus on you. “You okay?”
You bit your lip, feeling a little guilty for waking him. “Yeah, sorry. My leg just… won’t get comfortable.”
He shifted beside you, rubbing his eyes. His hair was messier now, and his face carried the remnants of sleep. “Want me to help? Or… do you need a pillow or something?”
You shook your head, adjusting the blanket around you. “No, it’s fine.”
His expression softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Now I know why you need half an eternity to finish the season. You knocked out pretty hard after just two episodes,” he said softly, his voice slightly hoarse from sleep.
You laughed quietly, feeling a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry about that.”
“No, don’t apologize,” he said quickly, his voice warm. “I didn’t want to wake you. You seemed really comfortable.” Comfortable. You were. Too comfortable, honestly. You glanced down at the blanket wrapped tightly around you, feeling a strange warmth in your chest.
“Did I miss much?” you asked, your voice still quiet.
“Nah, just the end of the episode,” Heeseung replied, glancing at the TV. “You didn’t miss anything important. I was going to ask if you wanted to watch another one, but, uh…”
“But I was out cold,” you finished for him, chuckling.
“Exactly.”
There was a pause, a soft, almost peaceful silence hanging between you. You didn’t want to move. You didn’t want to leave the comfort of his bed, his blanket, or this moment. You could feel his presence next to you, his arm brushing yours slightly as you both sat there. “So…” you began, hesitating for a moment. “I should probably get going.”
Heeseung didn’t say anything right away. He shifted slightly, and you thought you caught a flicker of something in his expression, but it was gone too quickly to tell.
“You don’t have to,” he said, his voice careful. “I mean, if you’re comfortable here, it’s late… Also, Soobin’s got you covered. He said your parents will survive you crashing here for the night.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “You texted Soobin?”
Heeseung’s smile was sheepish. “I didn’t want your parents to freak out when you didn’t show up. So yeah, I let him know. He said you’re an adult but added that he’d let them know you’re safe.”
You sighed, a mix of gratitude and amusement rising in your chest. “Thanks, Heeseung. Really.”
He shrugged, his easy smile still in place. “Anytime. I just figured I should let someone know.”
You began to move out of your blanket burrito,”I’ll migrate to the sofa then! I don’t want to hog your bed. You have training tomorrow and you should get some proper sleep before then!”
His gaze shifted to you, a little more serious now. “Hell no. If you’re gonna stay, you are going to sleep here. If you feel uncomfortable I can go to the sofa.”
You blinked at him, surprised by his casual offer. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed,” you protested, even as part of you was tempted.
Heeseung tilted his head, his eyes soft and teasing. “Then I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. Just scoot over, and I’ll lie down too. We can both be comfortable.”
A beat of silence passed as you considered it, but then you nodded, scooting over to give him room. Your heart pounded just a little harder as you adjusted yourself, settling more comfortably against the pillows. Heeseung shifted too, lying down on his side, facing you. The bed suddenly felt smaller than it had moments ago, the space between you somehow feeling both large and almost nonexistent.
“Better?” he asked, his voice soft as he looked at you.
You nodded. “Yeah. Much better.”
For a moment, neither of you said anything. You found yourself more aware of everything—the blanket, the smell of Heeseung’s cologne lingering in the air, and the soft, even rhythm of his breathing.
“Good,” Heeseung murmured, his eyes closing again.“Just… wake me up if you need anything, okay?”
You smiled softly, watching as his breathing slowed, his expression relaxed as sleep pulled him back under. It was strange, this feeling of being so comfortable, of having someone care enough to make sure you were okay. You could not believe what was happening right now but you were also too tired to think about it right now. So you just closed your eyes again, the weight of the day and the warmth of the moment making it easier to drift off. And as sleep began to claim you once more, you felt a quiet contentment settle in your chest. 
Tumblr media
The sun was barely beginning to rise as Heeseung wiped the sweat off his brow, the air in the rink still heavy with the lingering chill of the early morning. Their training session had just wrapped up, and the team was scattered around the locker room, chatting and peeling off their gear. Heeseung sat on a bench, untying his skates when he felt someone approach.
“Soobin.” Heeseung looked up, surprised to see your older brother standing in front of him with a serious expression.
“We need to talk,” Soobin said, his tone calm but firm. Heeseung immediately sensed that something was up and he straightened up, suddenly more alert. Soobin didn’t usually pull him aside like this, and the shift in his demeanor was hard to miss. Heeseung’s heart rate quickened, but he kept his face neutral, unsure of where this conversation was going. He stood, following Soobin outside to a quieter part of the rink, away from the rest of the team.
Once they were alone, Soobin crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing slightly as he met Heeseung’s gaze. “You're gonna tell me what’s going on between you and Y/N?” Soobin asked, voice stern but not hostile.
The question hit Heeseung like a puck to the chest (pun intended), and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. Scratch that he knew what he wanted to say but saying it out loud made it too real.
He thought about the evenings spent in your office, long after practice had ended, when the rink was quiet, and it was just the two of you. Most nights, it started with something simple—you finishing up work while he lingered, not really wanting to go back to the dorm. You would end up on the sofa in your office, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
He could picture how you would sit, your back nestled into the corner of the sofa, one knee pulled up to your chest while the other, still recovering, rested comfortably across his lap. You were so casual about it, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to drape your leg over him like that. And somehow, it was. You would chat for hours sometimes, and he found himself looking forward to those nights more than he ever admitted. Seeing the way your eyes lit up when you got excited about something, or the way your lips quirked into a small smile when you said something you thought was clever. There was a comfort between the two of you that made everything else fade into the background.
On days where your physiotherapist, whom you claim to love with all of your heart, went a bit harder on you leaving you exhausted and in pain he would be trying his best to cheer you up a bit. You never complained but he could tell. Your leg would stiffen up, and you would move with a slight limp, your jaw tight as you tried to brush it off like it was nothing. He remembered the first time he noticed it—how you had tried to hide the discomfort, laughing off his concern with some joke about how you have “had worse.” Without thinking, he had reached out and placed his hand on your leg, gently massaging the tense muscles. You hadn’t said anything at first, but you didn’t pull away either. Instead, you had leaned back into the cushions, closing your eyes for a brief moment, as if allowing yourself to relax in his presence.
That morning, when he got up for training, you had still been there, your hair spilling over the pillow in soft waves. He had whispered for you to stay, to sleep in and leave whenever you wanted, and a small part of him had hoped that when he returned, you’d still be in his bed.
Soobin waited, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Heeseung, don’t make me ask twice.”
But what was he supposed to say to Soobin? You were his sister. He couldn’t risk saying the wrong thing, especially not when he was still trying to figure it all out himself.
“Nothing’s going on,” Heeseung replied, though even as he said it, he knew it sounded weak. “I mean, we’re friends.”
Soobin’s jaw clenched, clearly unsatisfied. "Friends, huh? Because from where I’m standing, it seems like there’s more to it than just being friends. And don’t give me that ‘nothing’s going on’ line. I’m not stupid, Heeseung."
Heeseung swallowed. Soobin wasn’t the kind of guy to be brushed off easily. He shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his damp hair. “I…” He started, his voice a little shaky, but he forced himself to meet Soobin’s eyes. “I think I like her. A lot, actually.”
Soobin’s eyes narrowed, and Heeseung felt his heart rate spiking. “You think? Or you know?”
“I know,” Heeseung admitted, his voice more certain now. “I like her more than just a friend, Soobin. I’ve liked her for a while. It’s not just…” He paused, searching for the right words, trying to explain how he felt about you. “It’s not just some fling or whatever. It’s… more. Or at least for me it is.”
There. He’d said it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it before—how his feelings for you had slowly shifted, deepening with each shared moment, every lingering glance, every time he found himself thinking about you when he wasn’t supposed to. But saying it out loud and not just gushing to his friends about you made it real in a way that he wasn’t fully prepared for.
Soobin stayed silent for a long moment, his gaze hard but thoughtful. Heeseung’s stomach twisted. But when Soobin spoke again, his voice was calmer, though still edged with that protective tone.
“Look, I get it,” Soobin said slowly, his gaze locked on Heeseung’s. “Y/N… she’s been through a lot. You know that. The last thing she needs is someone messing with her heart. So if you’re not serious about her, if you’re just playing around or you’re not sure what you want, you need to back off. Because if you hurt her, Heeseung… I swear—”
“I’m not going to hurt her,” Heeseung interrupted, his voice firm, surprising even himself with the certainty of his own words. “I would never do that, Soobin.”, his chest tightening at the thought of hurting you. “I wouldn’t. I won’t. I just… I don’t want to complicate things for her. But I can’t help how I feel.”
Soobin stared at him for a long moment, as if weighing the truth of his words. Finally, he let out a small sigh, the tension easing slightly from his shoulders. “I believe you,” he said, though there was still a note of caution in his tone. “But I’m warning you—if you break her heart, you’ll answer to me.”
Heeseung nodded, knowing that Soobin meant every word. And honestly, he couldn’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, if he were in Soobin’s shoes, he would’ve done the same thing.
As Soobin walked back toward the locker room, Heeseung let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. 
With a sigh, Heeseung headed back inside, his skates dangling loosely from his fingers. As he stepped into the locker room, his mind wandered back to his dorm. He wondered if you were still there, still curled up in his bed like you had been when he left. You were probably already gone, but a small part of him hoped you were still there.
Tumblr media
“A little bird told me you didn’t return home last night,” Beomgyu teased as he plopped down into the empty seat next to you in the library, dropping his hockey gear with a soft thud. He had no trouble finding you among the maze of bookshelves and antique paintings - you were in your usual spot, struggling through an international law essay. You looked up and sighed, already bracing yourself for his relentless teasing.
“I didn’t,” you admitted, rolling your eyes. “Did that little bird also tell you I fell asleep after studying and watching, like, one and a half episodes of The Walking Dead? Or did he conveniently forget to mention that part?” You knew exactly who the “little bird” was—your brother.
“He did mention that, actually,” Beomgyu smirked, shaking his damp hair free from his hat. “But I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.” He leaned in closer, lowering his voice dramatically. “You had the perfect opportunity to get something going with,” he paused for effect, “a hot guy that Yeonjun hyung, Soobin hyung, and I fully approve of—and you did nothing? And don’t give me the ‘I’m not interested in Heeseung’ excuse. I know all about your little evening sessions in your office.”
Your face heated up at the mention of Heeseung, but you quickly dismissed it. “We’re just friends, Gyu. Friends,” you emphasized. “When he comes to my office, we’re actually studying. It’s peaceful there, no one interrupts us.” You crossed your arms, trying to hide the sudden, unwelcome flutter in your chest.
“Sure, sure,” Beomgyu grinned, clearly not buying it. “But you slept over. That’s new.”
You sighed, glancing back at your laptop. “I slept over because I fell asleep. He had to get up early for practice, so he let me sleep in. When I woke up, he was already gone. It was no big deal.” You said it like you were reminding yourself more than Beomgyu—because it wasn’t a big deal, right? You were just comfortable around Heeseung. That’s all.
“Uh-huh. Sure, it wasn’t a big deal,” Beomgyu leaned back, clearly enjoying himself. “Jake and Jay weren’t exactly quiet about it during practice this morning. And now the entire team, including your dad, knows about your ‘sleepover.’ Your dad wasn’t thrilled, by the way. Might want to prepare for an awkward conversation later.”
You groaned, letting your head fall onto the old wooden desk with a soft thud. “Of course he’d freak out. How is he so worried about me being lonely but still loses his shit whenever I’m near a guy?” You turned your head to the side, pouting.
Beomgyu patted your head sympathetically. “Your dad’s a scary guy. I can’t help you there. But seriously, are you sure you’re not into Heeseung?”
You straightened up, an annoyed huff escaping your lips. “I’m not interested in Heeseung like that,” you insisted, though your mind betrayed you with memories of how you’d felt waking up in his bed this morning. The way the sheets still held his warmth, how his cologne lingered faintly in the air... But no. It wasn’t like that. You had just fallen asleep while watching TV, that’s all. It wasn’t a date. Just two friends watching a show, nothing more.
Beomgyu wasn’t buying it. “I’m just saying, you spend a lot of time with him. Almost every other night, actually. And don’t even get me started on the way he naps in your office all the time. That sofa is supposed to be my personal napping spot.”
“I mean, first come, first serve,” you shot back, forcing a lighthearted tone. “Yeonjun’s slept on that couch plenty of times too.”
“Yeah, but I don’t see you staying over at Yeonjun’s place,” Beomgyu countered with a sly grin. “Face it, you’re into Heeseung.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, but inside, his words echoed. You and Heeseung had gotten close, yes. Maybe closer than you’d expected. But that didn’t mean anything, right? You were just... comfortable around him. There was nothing more to it.
“Gyu, I’m really not interested in dating right now,” you said, turning back to your laptop in an attempt to end the conversation. “I just want to get this essay done. Jay and Lia asked me to proofread theirs, and I won’t have time if I don’t finish today.”
Beomgyu rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair dramatically. “Sure, keep telling yourself that. But I’m keeping an eye on you two.”
“Oh no, I’m so scared,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Now, can I please focus on this essay?”
He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. But don’t think this conversation is over. I’m just getting started.” You managed to ignore Beomgyu’s incessant teasing for a while, but the fluttering thoughts about Heeseung kept creeping back in, much to your annoyance. It was like a small nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering things you didn’t want to hear. Things like how nice it was that he let you stay in his bed, how considerate it was of him to slip out quietly in the morning so you could sleep in, and how warm his side of the bed had felt when you rolled over into it. Stop it, you mentally scolded yourself.
It didn’t mean anything.
Right?
Nope. No. Stop. You shook your head slightly, forcing yourself to focus. You had way too much going on to be distracted by feelings—or whatever this was. The coming weeks were packed with deadlines, presentations, and a social media campaign for the team that was eating up all your free time. Not to mention the upcoming games, which meant more PR work for you. You didn’t have time to analyze whatever was happening between you and Heeseung. Not that there was anything to analyze.
Tumblr media
The final whistle echoed through the arena, and you were still trying to process what had just happened. Heeseung had scored the winning goal - on his birthday, no less. The crowd roared, players rushed onto the ice, and you could barely keep your camera steady as you captured the celebrations for the team’s social media. But your thoughts were still stuck on the way Heeseung had glanced up into the stands after scoring. Pointing at you. Dedicating the goal to technically the teams fans. He’d joked with you before the game that it would be perfect PR if the “birthday boy” scored the winning goal. 
You stood in front of the changing rooms, waiting for the boys to finish up after the game. The arena was still buzzing from the victory—Heeseung’s last-second, game-winning goal had the whole place on fire. You could hear the muffled celebrations from behind the door, the players’ laughter and shouts of excitement as they reveled in their win.
You leaned against the wall, absentmindedly scrolling through your phone as you waited for them to emerge. But before you could even think about your next move, the door to the changing room swung open, and Beomgyu poked his head out.
“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his grin as mischievous as ever. “Come on, get in here!”
Before you could protest, he gently pushed you into the locker room. The smell of sweat hit you all at once, and the noise of the players’ post-game celebrations was deafening. The boys were in various stages of undress—some half-naked, some wrapped in towels, others already pulling on their post-game clothes. You hesitated at the entrance, suddenly feeling a little out of place.
“Uh, I’m not really supposed to be in here -” you started, but Beomgyu waved you off.
“Nonsense! You’re part of the team too,” he said, nudging you further inside. “Besides, someone’s gotta document Heeseung’s birthday win for the fans, right?”
You smiled at his enthusiasm, but your attention was quickly diverted to Heeseung himself, who was standing by his locker, shirtless, toweling off his hair. Your eyes involuntarily scanned over him, taking in the toned muscles of his chest, the curve of his collarbones, the way the light from the overhead lamps cast soft shadows across his skin. He was talking to one of the other players, a relaxed smile on his face, but you couldn’t help but be distracted by the way his shoulders flexed as he moved, the muscles in his back rippling as he dried off. Fuck. You caught yourself staring and quickly averted your gaze, your face growing warm. Get a grip, you scolded yourself.
“Watch out Y/N. You are about to drool.” Beomgyu teased, suddenly reappearing at your side. His grin was knowing, and you could tell he hadn’t missed the way your eyes had lingered on Heeseung.
“Shut up,” you muttered, elbowing him lightly in the ribs. Beomgyu just chuckled. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart was still racing. You glanced back at Heeseung, only to find that he was already looking at you. His dark eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. The noise of the locker room, the boys’ laughter, even Beomgyu’s teasing all became background noise as you held his gaze. There was something in the way he was looking at you, something warm and intense that made your breath catch.
A slow, almost shy smile tugged at the corner of Heeseung’s lips, and you felt your stomach flip again. You suddenly felt like you couldn’t stand still, like you needed to move, do something to break the intensity of the moment. But before you could, Heeseung looked away, returning to his conversation with a teammate, breaking eye contact.
After a while, the players finished up and started getting dressed, and you slipped out of the changing room, glad to have a moment to collect yourself. The victory high carried on as the team headed to a nearby bar to celebrate. You tagged along—PR duties and all. Your original plan was to go back to your and Soobins Hotel room to study a bit but Yeonjun threatened to spoil the end of Prison Break if you wouldn’t tag along. That and the fact that Heeseung had his arms around your shoulder in such an aggravating casual way as soon as he came out of the locker and was pouting when you told him about your study plans was pretty convincing. Heeseung kept finding excuses to be near you even after you left the rink. Every time you looked up, he was there—handing you a drink, making a joke, his arm bushing yours as he leaned in to talk.
You found yourself glancing at him more often, watching the way his lips curved when he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. But every time you tried to be subtle about it, you’d catch him already looking at you, making your pulse quicken and your cheeks rosy red. He would lower his head slightly, his eyes being hidden behind his hair and smirking at you until you couldn't take it any longer and the intense broke eye contact, blushing like a little school girl. 
You were sitting at a booth with some of the players when Beomgyu sidled up to you, a mischievous grin already in place.
“So… birthday boy scores the winning goal and dedicates it to you? That’s a bit more than a coincidence, don’t you think?” His eyes twinkled with amusement.
You rolled your eyes, trying to play it off. “It was just a joke, Beomgyu. Heeseung was dedicating it to the fans, not me.” You were praying that the noise around you was loud enough for Soobin, Yeonjun and Jay to not hear what the two of you were talking about.
Beomgyu leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Come on, Y/N. We’ve all seen the way he looks at you. It’s not just a joke.”
Your face flushed, warmth creeping up your neck. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And you’re in denial,” he shot back, leaning back in his seat and giving you a smug look. “I’m just saying - maybe it’s time to stop pretending.”
You tried to brush it off, but his words lingered. You have been telling yourself that you were imagining things and that you were a bit delusional when thinking about Heeseung - not talking, hell your friends cannot know about your little crush - but maybe just maybe did Beomgyu have a point.  
Heeseung slid in next to you, and immediately, you felt the heat of his body radiating toward you. He was so close, not closer than usual, but you could smell the faint hint of his cologne—something warm and woodsy that made your head swim a little. You liked it a little too much, and you had to fight the urge to lean in closer, to let yourself get lost in the warmth of his presence. Like you have done on his bed plenty of times in the last weeks during your strictly friendly studying-and-binge-watching-not-dates-dates that sometimes turn into sleepovers. (Yes, you have your own toothbrush at his place and a designated set of PJs. And yes, in hindsight you are a lost causes and Beomgyu has been right about everything but you would never tell him that.)
As you sipped your drink, trying to keep your thoughts in check, Soobin’s gaze was on you, watchful and a little too knowing. You could feel his eyes darting between you and Heeseung. It made you even more self-conscious, and you prayed Heeseung didn’t notice. When Heeseung put one of his hands on your thigh while talking, Soobin looked like he was ready to punch his captain in the face. Yeonjun shot Soobin a look and discreetly elbowed him in the ribs.
“Relax, man,” he muttered under his breath, though you heard it clearly.
You silently thanked Yeonjun for the intervention, but you still couldn’t shake the nervous energy building up inside you. You kept your focus on the conversation, laughing along with the others, but the whole time, all you could think about was the way Heeseung’s leg was pressed against yours under the table, the steady heat of his body next to you, his hand on your thigh and his thumb that started caressing it slightly. The skin under his hand was tingling.
Tumblr media
The way back to your hotel felt significantly longer than the way there. You were busy giggling  together with Jake about a dumb joke Jay made while walking rather slowly towards your hotel. Having had one or two drinks while relying on crutches may have not been the best idea.
“I don’t want to go to sleep yet,” you pouted as you squeezed into the elevator with the others, leaning your head against Jay’s shoulder. Heeseung and Jake swayed as they stepped into the cramped space, followed by a few of the other players and their girlfriends.
“I swear I am out as soon as my head hits the pillow”, Jay yawned and patted your head causing you to giggle.
You giggled. “Ohhh,” you teased, fake pouting, “you didn’t get your nap today! Poor Jay must be exhausted.”
“Ha, ha,” Jay replied dryly, grabbing Jake’s arm as the latter swayed dangerously. “Might I remind you that I played a phenomenal game today? That’s exhausting, you know.”
“Sure, Park,” you said with mock seriousness, lips pursed as you nodded.
At your floor, you bid the boys a quick goodnight and shuffled toward your room. Inside, Soobin was standing in the middle of the room clad in nothing but boxer shorts, toothbrush in hand, his mouth full of foam. He turned to you with a confused expression.
“Whaf are you doin’ hewe?” he mumbled around his toothbrush, his words muffled as foam threatened to dribble from the corner of his lips.
“What do you mean?” you asked, flopping onto your bed and ignoring the fact that you were still wearing your outside clothing “We’re sharing this room, remember?”
Soobin rolled his eyes and ducked into the bathroom, his voice muffled as he spit into the sink. “Yeah, but I thought you were going to give Hee his present?”
You blinked, sitting up. “Oh. I was thinking I’d do it tomorrow or maybe next week. Didn’t want to give it to him in front of everyone.”
Soobin emerged from the bathroom, drying his face with a towel, water droplets scattered across his chest and shoulders. “No. Do it today. It’s his birthday. I’m sure he’d appreciate some one-on-one time with you.”
You froze for a second. You weren’t entirely sure how Soobin was thinking about whatever was going on between you and his friend and captain, but you hadn’t expected him to ask about Heesung. Especially after the glare he had sent Heeseung’s way at the bar. “I mean, I already talked to him and said happy birthday…” you muttered, trying to brush it off.
“Y/N.” Soobin said flatly, crossing his arms, “Go downstairs and give him your present and spend some time with him. You have my official blessing. Just be careful.”
“I-You-What?”, you gawked at him,, feeling your face flush.
“Do you really think i am that stupid?”, Soobin asked with a shake of his head, grinning at you, “You look at him the same way you did look at your Taemin poster. All heart eyes. It's almost embarrassing.”
Your jaw dropped as his words sank in, your face now fully flushed. “Soobin, that’s not—”
“Y/N,” he interrupted, tossing the towel onto a chair, “just go.”
Tumblr media
Ten minutes later you found yourself standing in front of Heeseungs hotel room door, your heart pounding in your chest as you worked up the nerve to knock. When he opened the door, already clad in his pyjama pants only, his hair messy, his eyes widened in surprise, but a slow smile spread across his face.
“Y/N,” he said, stepping aside to let you in. “What’s up?” You held out the small box in your hands, feeling a bit shy and honestly still a bit embarrassed. You did not give Heeseung herat eyes. Those were for Taemin and Taemin only. “I, uh, got you something. For your birthday.” You were looking into his face and tried to ignore that he was standing there half naked.
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said softly, but he was already reaching for the gift.
“Just open it,” you insisted, your heart beating faster as you watched him unwrap the small package.
“Come in first.”, he ushered you inside and closed the door behind you.
Heeseung’s fingers carefully peeled away the colorful wrapper, his eyes flickering between you and the small box in his hands. He laughed slightly when he saw the packaging and you couldn’t help but smile. He was holding a Sonny Angel dinosaur special edition box you had Soobin buy a few days earlier when he went to the mall. When Heeseung finally opened up the small plastic bag and revealed the figurine inside, his eyes widened in disbelief. It was the red dinosaur.
“No way,” he breathed, turning the figure over in his hands, a wide grin breaking across his face. “Is this the one you wanted?”
“Yeah,” you replied, your voice soft. “I’ve been trying to get it forever, but I guess it was meant for you.” Heeseung’s eyes lit up, but he didn’t say anything for a moment, just staring at the small figure, his smile never fading. Then, his gaze lifted to meet yours. The way he looked at you had your heart racing in a concerning way.
“I offer one red dinosaur for a pink one. This one fits you better anyway. And the pink one would have a cozy home in my locker.” he said, his voice low.
You just laughed softly and nodded, “Sure scary captain. It will be honored to live in your stinky locker.” The soft glow of the bedside lamp cast shadows across his face, highlighting the curve of his jaw, the warmth in his eyes.
Over the past two months, you’d come to realize that yes, Heeseung was undeniably hot and effortlessly charming, but there was something about him with messy hair and a sleepy smile that completely stole your heart.
“Thank you,” he said, breaking the silence, his voice still soft. “Really, this is... it means a lot.”
You smiled, trying to steady your heartbeat. “You’re welcome,” you breathed out.
Heeseung set the figure on the nightstand beside his bed, then turned back to you, his gaze lingering on your face. “I still can’t believe you got me the dinosaur,” he said, his voice a little lighter now, though his eyes were still on you, unreadable but intense.
You chuckled, trying to shake off the nerves fluttering in your stomach. “I had no idea it was in there,” you admitted, glancing at the little red figure on his nightstand. “But I’m glad it was. Birthday luck, I guess.”
Heeseung nodded, his smile softening. “Yeah, I guess so.” He hesitated for a moment, then shifted on the bed, patting the space next to him. “Wanna sit? I’ll put on Prison Break.”
You blinked, feeling your heartbeat pick up again, but you nodded, moving to sit beside him on the bed. The mattress dipped slightly under your weight, and you could feel the warmth of his body close to yours as he grabbed the remote and queued up an episode.
As the show began to play, you tried to focus on the screen, but it was hard with Heeseung so close. His arm brushed against yours as he settled in, and the faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air between you. You tried to keep your breathing steady, but the heat radiating from him was impossible to ignore, your skin tingling wherever you felt his presence.
Your heart thudded in your chest, and as the minutes passed, you felt yourself relax just slightly, letting the comforting hum of the TV and the warmth of Heeseung beside you lull you into a calm state. You tried to focus on the show, but your mind kept drifting back to him. The longer you sat there, the more aware you became of just how close he was, has been the whole evening. His thigh and arm was touching yours, you could feel the subtle rise and fall of his chest with every breath. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, catching the way his features softened in the dim light, his attention half on the screen and half... somewhere else.
Just then, he turned his head, his eyes meeting yours, and the intensity in his gaze made your breath catch. For a moment, neither of you moved.
Your pulse quickened as his gaze flickered down to your lips for just a second, then back up to your eyes again. You swallow, your throat suddenly dry, your heart pounding in your chest. Heeseung’s lips parted as if he was about to say something, but the words never came. Instead, he just stared at you, his expression unreadable. The only sound in the room was the faint murmur of the TV in the background, but even that felt distant now, drowned out by the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. Your breath hitched in your throat as Heeseung shifted again, just slightly, his knee brushing against yours under the blanket to reach up and tuck one of your hair strands that fell out of your braid behind your ear. His hand grazed your cheek slightly and you were sure he could not only see but also feel how warm your face grew under his intense gaze.
The moment stretched on, the air thick with tension, and for a second, you were sure he would lean down and kiss you. But instead of closing the distance, he just smiled—soft, almost teasing—and turned his attention back to the screen.
You blinked, trying to calm yourself, not sure if you were just imagining things or not. You nodded slightly, attempting to focus on the show again, but your thoughts still whirled, your heartbeat loud in your ears. Minutes passed, and slowly, you began to feel tired. The weight of the day—watching the game, the excitement of the win, the celebration afterward—began to settle in. You could feel your eyelids growing heavier by the second. Your head involuntarily tilted toward Heeseung, resting lightly against his shoulder. You froze for a moment, worried you’d overstepped, but he didn’t move or say anything. Instead, he shifted around a bit. His arm was now fully pressed against yours, and the quiet rise and fall of his chest was soothing.
You let out a small breath, letting your body relax, the exhaustion of the day catching up with you. The steady sound of the TV mixed with the warmth of Heeseung beside you, lulling you into a daze. You could hear the faint murmur of the characters on screen, but your focus was completely on the steady rhythm of his breathing, the comforting thrum of his presence beside you.
Just as your eyes fluttered shut, you felt Heeseung shift again, his arm lifting slightly, as if hesitating. Then, gently, his arm rested behind you on the bed, his hand barely brushing your shoulder. And as you drifted further into sleep, your head nestled against his chest, the last thing you felt was Heeseung’s fingers gently brushing the edge of your arm. Yeah. Beomgyu was definitely right. This might be more than just a little crush.
Tumblr media
The night had already been one big adrenaline rush. It was the final day of the midterms week and Heeseung and his teammates had just won another game earlier in the evening, so the hockey team came into the swimming team’s Halloween party riding the high of their victory.
Heeseung wasn’t usually the frat party type, but after a win, he didn’t mind letting loose a little. He had already knocked back a couple of drinks with his teammates, and the tipsy warmth was settling in his body. He mingled with the crowd, greeting friends and teammates, celebrating their victory. Jeongin had been bragging about his game-winning goal to anyone who would listen, while Jake and Jay were deep in conversation with some girls dressed as cats. Heeseung had been enjoying himself too, wandering around, chatting here and there.
But then he saw you.
You weren’t hard to spot—how could you be when you were dressed like that? Heeseung blinked, not sure if it was the alcohol, the lighting, or maybe a mix of both, but you looked... really good. No, scratch that, you looked hot. You were wearing a vampire costume that hugged your curves in ways he’d never quite allowed him to notice before. The dark lipstick and fake fangs were surprisingly fitting, and the way the red fabric of your dress shimmered under the lights made it hard not to stare.
The crowd shifted, and suddenly you were right in front of him, your face lighting up in drunken enthusiasm as soon as you recognized him. "Heeseung!" you called out, stumbling a little as you reached him.
He grabbed your elbow instinctively, steadying you. His hand lingered a moment longer than necessary. “Hey, careful.”, he laughed and then realized something, “You’re not using your crutches?”
You grinned, tipsy and a little wobbly. “My physio human,” you slurred, “said I could start walking a few days ago! Isn’t that awesome?”
Heeseung blinked, feeling a little hurt that you hadn’t mentioned this to him. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t wanna jinx it!” you said, giggling like it was no big deal. “I’ve been walking at home but didn’t wanna try it in public until I was more confident. And look! I’m walking! No crutches, baby!”
Heeseung couldn’t help the way his heart clenched. He should’ve been excited for you, but a part of him was bothered. Why hadn’t you shared this with him? You spent so much time together lately, and yet, this felt like something important he should’ve known. You were practically glowing with excitement, your face flushed from the alcohol, and the way you kept swaying made him nervous.
“Just… be careful, okay?” Heeseung said, his voice softer than he intended, the sting in his chest dissipating when he saw how genuinely happy you were.
You leaned closer your face dangerously close to his, the warmth of your breath brushing his cheek, “I promise! Look, I’m a vampire now! I’m unstoppable!” You twirled, your dress swirling around you, and Heeseung couldn’t help but smile despite the growing tension in his chest. His gaze followed your every movement. The red dress clung to your body in ways that felt unfair, making his thoughts wander into a dangerous direction. But he quickly pushed the thought away.
“Yeah, but even vampires need to be careful,” he replied, teasingly.
Before he could say anything more, a rowdy group called for a beer pong game, and you were swept away in the chaos, your laughter trailing behind you. Heeseung watched as you joined the game, the way you threw your head back in laughter. It was impossible for him to look away, but Jay came up to him holding a bottle of Malibu, saying something about needing alcohol for a confidence boost.
After the two of them finished the bottle and won a game of beerpong against some cheerleaders, Heeseung stepped away from the crowd to get some air, letting the noise fade into the background as he sat down next to Mark Lee onto one of the many chairs in the yard. He needed a moment to breathe and gather his thoughts and was glad that Mark was apparently sleeping. He did check if he was breathing, just in case. He couldn’t stop thinking about how good you looked, how much he wanted to kiss you. The way you layed there, eyes big, lips slightly parted and looking so so soft. It hasn’t left his thoughts all week. Every time you came close to him today, you cupped his face in your hands to speak into his ear, your proximity sending his emotions spiraling. His hand would instinctively settle on your hip or the back of your neck. One wrong move and he knew he’d lose all control, closing the small distance and kissing you.
Eventually, he felt a little more sober and not like he was about to run inside to ruin your lipstick. He returned to the main area. That’s when he caught sight of you again. You were perched on a sofa, laughing animatedly with some guy from the swimming team while sipping on a colorful drink. A weird feeling flared up in him, and as he watched you lean in closer to the guy. Heeseung’s jaw clenched as he watched the guy lean closer as well.
His feet moved before his brain could catch up, and the next thing he knew, he was walking toward you. As he approached, you spotted him, and your entire face lit up. "Hee!" you called out excitedly, as you reached for his hand and practically pulled him down onto the couch next to you. The closeness sent a spark through him, his skin tingling where your skin touched his.
Heeseung shot the guy a look that clearly said back off, and thankfully, he took the hint and left.
“Hee! I haven’t seen you in days!” you whined, your words slightly more slurred from alcohol than it was the last time he talked to you but bright with excitement. “I missed you! You’re not hanging out in the office anymore. What’s that about?” Your body was warm, and you smelled sweet, like vanilla with a hint of alcohol.
Heeseung chuckled, putting his arm on the backrest behind you. “You haven’t been there either! I thought you were avoiding me.”
Since that morning in the hotel room last week, Heeseung hadn’t seen much of you. You’d been busy working during the day and noticeably absent from the rink during your usual hours. He couldn’t shake the nagging worry that he might have overstepped, that something he did had made you uncomfortable. Instead of reaching out, he chose to give you space.
You shook your head dramatically, fake fangs peeking out as you grinned. “Noooo! I was just doing physio. You know, walking practice. But my therapist only had evening sessions!” You wiggled your foot with the cast and looked down at it. “The bathrooms are all messed up tonight,” you said, your cheeks flushed.
“Bathrooms?” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden change in topic, reaching out to tuck a stand of hair behind your ear. Slightly caressing your face.
“I tried to pee earlier, but every bathroom was closed when I went the first time,” you explained, giggling at the absurdity of it all, leaning your head into his hand. “Then I tried again, and this very disheveled couple came out. I mean”, a hiccup interrupted you, ”they looked like they just had a wild night.”
Heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. “Sounds like you had quite the adventure.” He was tempted to ask how many drinks you’d had and reached for your cup, his brows knitting together. “Can I have a sip of that?”
“Sure!” you said, handing it over with a smile. 
As the night wore on you slowed down on the drinks, after Heeseung refused to get you another one when you asked him to but you still accepted nearly every shot offered to you. He could’ve spent the rest of the night just watching you laugh, but as the crowd grew louder and wilder, he realized you were a bit drunker than he had originally thought.
You were now fully leaning into him. The proximity made his pulse quicken. His hand rested next to your head and he was occasionally smoothing over your hair. His mind kept drifting back to how you looked tonight. How you’d pulled him onto the couch with such excitement as if he was the best thing you have seen all day. How much he still wanted to ruin your stupid lipstick. He couldn't stop staring at your lips.
“I’m so tired,” you mumbled, and before he could react, you nesteled your face onto his chest, moving your body while doing so and lifting your legs to hand over his thights.
He watched as your eyelids grew heavy. “You should stop drinking,” he said gently, gliding his hand along your back. You shuttered slightly and he was loving the effect he had on you. How reactive you were even though we was barely doing anything.
“I know,” you sighed, looking up at him. The sight made his heart race, and he fought to keep his expression neutral despite the way his pulse quickened at your gaze. Soobin and Yeonjun were sitting next to the two of you. “But it’s just so much fun!”
“I can take you home,” Heeseung offered, the protective side of him kicking in.
You shook your head. “No, I am staying at Lia and Ryujin’s. But they’re not answering their phones. My dad would freak if he saw me without my crutches. He’d lose his mind.”
Heeseung paused, running a hand through his hair, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “Okay, then come to my dorm.”
“Your dorm?” you repeated, eyes brightening slightly. “Is that really okay? I don’t want to crash your night.”
“It’s fine. I mean, Jake and Jay probably won’t be back until morning, anyway,” he reassured you, trying to keep his tone light.
You contemplated it for a moment, and Heeseung held his breath, hoping you’d say yes. You nodded, a small smile creeping across your face. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Let’s get you out of here,” Heeseung replied, helping you up, saying bye to your brother and his friend. 
Tumblr media
The walk back to Heeseung’s dorm was slow and a bit wobbly, as you swayed gently on your feet. The chill in the night air didn’t seem to bother you. He offered you his jacket, but you denied claiming that you were so warm and you didn’t want to sweat into his jacket.
“Hey, can we take a quick pit stop?” you asked after a while, stopping mid-step and glancing around. “My foot is hurting, and I just need to sit for a second.”
“Alright,” Heeseung replied, his brows knitting together slightly with concern. He really did not want to let you sit down on the cold and slightly wet concrete floor in the middle of the campus. “You want me to give you a piggyback ride?”
“What? You want me to ride on your back?” you said, your eyes wide.
“It’s either that or a bladder infection for you,” he said, lifting his arms in mock surrender. “Your call.”
After a moment of hesitation, you grinned and climbed onto his back. When you wrapped your arms around his neck, the warmth of your body pressed against his back, Heeseung’s heart raced. The feel of your breath on his neck, the softness of your body against his—it was intoxicating.
He took steady strides, feeling your laughter vibrate against his back.
“You’re really strong!” you said, your voice muffled slightly against him. “I could get used to this!”
“Don’t get any ideas,” he replied, trying to sound serious but failing miserably.
Once inside, he gently set you down on his bed. You flopped back onto the mattress dramatically, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “This is amazing. I don’t wanna move anymore.”
Heeseung chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he leaned against the doorframe. “Don't you want to get out of that dress? It looks tight, and you’ll be uncomfortable if you sleep in it.”
You pouted, staring up at him with those stupidly adorable doe eyes. “But it’s so comfy here.”
Heeseung rolled his eyes playfully. “Come on, I’ll help you. We can’t have you sleeping in that.You don’t even like sleeping in leggings and I don't want you to complain all day tomorrow.”
With a little more coaxing, you reluctantly sat up, the slight sway in your movements reminding him how tipsy you still were.
“Okay, I might need help,” you admitted sheepishly.
He just laughed and took your cheek onto one hand and caressed it softly, “Alright. Just let me know what to do.”
As you turned your back to him, he helped you unzip the dress. “Just a little more,” he whispered, and he pulled the fabric down gently, letting it fall to the floor.
The sight of the scars on your back caught him off guard for a second. He knew they were there but you were keen on not letting anyone see any of your scars, wearing high waisted pants or skirts all the time. You have told him before, that you were quite insecure over them. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to make you uncomfortable. Instead, he focused on peeling the dress off of your body, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath his fingers.
“There you go,” he said, reaching for your set of pajamas in his closet. “Much better, right?”
“Mhm”, you nodded. Heeseung felt a warmth spread through him, watching as you nestled into his bed, claiming your space. He took a deep breath, trying to ease his sudden flustered state.
“Good, we need to hydrate,” he said, already moving toward the small fridge he kept in the corner. He rummaged through it and grabbed a bottle of water before heading back to the bed. “Drink up.”
You took the bottle eagerly, gulping down the water like it was the most refreshing thing in the world and flopped down onto his bed again, shielding your eyes with your arms. Heeseung chuckled at your actions and changed into his own pajamas. He coaxed you to go to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.
As you brushed your teeth, you stumbled a little while rinsing, giggling as Heeseung steadied you.
When you finally returned to the bed, you carefully adjusted yourself into a position that wouldn’t hurt your leg and snuggled into him. He felt your warmth seep into him, and he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around you.
“I feel so sleepy,” you murmured, your voice slightly muffled as you nestled closer.
“Then close your eyes and sleep, Y/N,” he replied quietly, resting his chin on top of your head, feeling your breathing slow down.
You put your hand onto his waist and squished your face into his chest. He was praying you didn’t notice his racing heart. He started tracing up and down your naked arm and just as he closed his eyes, he felt you sigh contentedly, your breath warm against his skin. “Heeseung?” you murmured, half-asleep already.
“Yeah?” he answered softly, glancing down at you.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” you mumbled, and within moments, he could tell you’d already drifted off into sleep.
Tumblr media
Your eyes fluttered open, immediately assaulted by the glaring sunlight streaming into the room. You winced, instinctively trying to turn away from the light, but you couldn't move. Something was holding you down. Or, more precisely, someone. A familiar warmth, a scent you’d recognize anywhere - Heeseung. His chest rose and fell beneath you, steady and rhythmic, the sound of his slow breathing soothing against your ear. You were completely wrapped around him, using him like a full-body pillow—your head on his chest, arms draped over his torso, and your leg casually resting on top of his. His other arm was curled around you, holding you close. His head rested lightly on yours, his messy hair brushing against your forehead.
It wasn’t the first time you’d woken up like this. In fact, it had happened more times than you cared to admit. But each time felt like a new wave of confusion crashing over you. Friends didn’t wake up like this, right? Yet here you were again, tangled up in Heeseung’s arms, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
You sighed deeply, letting the warmth of his body seep into you as you tried to ignore the slow, dull pounding in your head. The light was making it worse, far too bright for your sensitive eyes. Carefully, you slid out of his arms, lifting his arm from your waist with a soft, reluctant tug. The cool air hit your skin, and you immediately missed Heeseungs warmth.
You winced slightly as you stood, your recovering leg was hurting more than it usually did after waking up. Maybe going all out with the cast on wasn’t the brightest idea. You pulled the curtains shut, dimming the room and giving your poor head some relief.
A quick glance back at the bed confirmed that Heeseung hadn’t moved an inch. He was laying there, still peacefully asleep, his hair tousled and his lips slightly parted. You hated how good he looked, even now, first thing in the morning. Last night at the party, when he had shown up in his stupidly perfect Greek god costume, you hadn’t been able to take your eyes off him. And it wasn’t just how he looked. It was everything. The way he was always so caring, so thoughtful. Despite being surrounded by people, he kept checking in on you—making sure you were okay, that you weren’t overdoing it with your cast. In Rihanna's words: he did make you feel like you were the only girl in the world.
After a quick stop in the bathroom to freshen up, you made your way back to Heeseung’s bed, your heart giving an involuntary flutter at the sight of him still sprawled out, completely at ease. He hadn’t moved since you left, still lost in sleep, his chest rising and falling gently.
As you slid back into the bed, careful not to disturb him, Heeseung stirred. Without hesitation, his arm found you again, pulling you right back against his chest. A sleepy groan rumbled through him as he snuggled closer, his nose brushing against your hair. The warmth of his body and the steady rhythm of his breathing were comforting, almost enough to make you forget the pounding in your head and the dull ache in your leg.
You let your eyes wander over his face, taking in the soft curve of his lips, the faint shadow of stubble on his jaw, and the way his lashes fluttered slightly as he dreamed. He looked so peaceful, so relaxed, and so ridiculously hot, even now, sprawled out in his bed probably not nursing a hangover but still. It was unfair, really.
You buried your face against his chest, breathing him in—the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with something distinctly Heeseung. It was comforting. Addicting, even. And for a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in it, to pretend that this was normal, that waking up with him like this could be your reality. But even as those thoughts tugged at you, the real reality remained the same: you and Heeseung were still just friends. Friends who somehow found themselves waking up tangled together, friends who shared the kind of closeness that made your heart race.
As you lay there, snuggled against Heeseung’s chest, you felt him stir beneath you. His breath hitched slightly before his body shifted, his hand gently trailing down your back as he woke up. You tried not to move, eyes still closed, but you could feel his sleepy gaze on you.
“Mornin’,” he mumbled softly, voice low and husky from sleep.
You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Morning."
He blinked lazily, his warm brown eyes still heavy with sleep, but a soft smile spread across his face as he looked down at you. His hand brushed through your hair, his fingers grazing the nape of your neck in a way that sent little shivers down your spine. You were hyper-aware of how close you were to him, of the way his chest pressed against yours.
“You hungry?” he asked, his voice still quiet, almost a whisper as if not to disturb the moment.
Your stomach growled at that very second, earning a soft chuckle from him.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he teased, his eyes crinkling with amusement.
You groaned, burying your face into his chest out of embarrassment. “Starving,” you admitted, muffled against his shirt.
Heeseung shifted underneath you, slowly sitting up and gently moving you off his chest. “Alright, I’ll see what we’ve got.” He stretched, running a hand through his messy hair, and threw you a playful look before getting up and heading for the kitchen.
As he left the room, you took a moment to compose yourself, sitting up in his bed with a soft sigh. The warmth of the bed still lingered on your skin, and you couldn’t help but feel a little empty now that he was no longer lying next to you. You shook your head, trying to shake off the butterflies that seemed to be fluttering in your stomach, and made your way to the kitchen.
When you got there, Heeseung was already at the counter, holding up a box of Froot Loops with a playful grin. “It’s not much, but breakfast is served.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Perfect.”
The two of you sat down at the kitchen island, munching on the cereal together in comfortable silence. Every now and then, your eyes would meet across the table, a small smile shared between you.
As you finished your bowl, the sound of shuffling footsteps caught your attention. Jake stumbled out of his room, his hair a complete mess and his eyes half-shut. He grumbled something unintelligible, making a beeline for the coffee machine.
You watched, amused, as Jake poured himself a cup, taking one long sip before practically collapsing onto the couch. He barely made a dent in his coffee before lying down and pulling a blanket over his head.
“Good morning to you, too,” you called over to him, stifling a laugh.
Jake groaned in response, clearly not in the mood to be social. "Too loud," he mumbled, pulling the blanket tighter over his head.
You and Heeseung exchanged a look, sharing a quiet chuckle. Heeseung finished his cereal and stood up, stretching. “I’m gonna wash up. You good here?”
“Yeah,” you replied, stifling a yawn of your own. "I think I’ll head back to bed for a bit. It’s too early to be awake.”
Heeseung smirked, tossing his bowl into the sink. “Good idea.” He ruffled your hair lightly before disappearing into the bathroom.
Curling up in his bed felt like sinking into a cloud. His scent lingered on the pillows and sheets, a mix of clean soap and something distinctly him, and it was so comforting that you didn’t bother trying to fight the pull of sleep.
Heeseung returned to the room, fresh and looking even better after his quick wash-up. He smiled when he saw you curled up in his bed and slid in beside you, careful not to disturb you too much.
“Wanna watch Prison Break?” he asked softly, picking up the remote.
You nodded sleepily, cuddling closer to him as he pressed play. The intro music started, but your focus drifted more toward him than the screen. The warmth of his body, the way his scent surrounded you—it was impossible to focus on anything else. One of your hands was resting on his chest. You were carefully tracing the design that was printed on his shirt, trying to distract yourself enough to not fall asleep.
You froze as Heeseung’s fingers wrapped around yours, his hand warm and steady against your own.
“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice rough and low, sending shivers up your spine. His fingers left yours, only to trail upward, brushing against your arm before settling gently on your face.
“Y/N,” he said again, his voice softer now, laced with something you couldn’t quite place. His palm cupped your cheek with a tenderness that made your heart stutter, his thumb grazing your skin in slow, soothing circles. The intimacy of the gesture sent your senses into overdrive. His hand was warm, his touch light, but the closeness between you was almost too much to handle.
You dared to glance up, meeting his eyes. His gaze flickered downward, lingering on your lips for a beat too long before returning to yours. The proximity was dizzying. You could feel the faint brush of his breath against your face and it made your head spin.
“You’re making it really hard to focus,” he murmured, his thumb continuing its gentle path along your cheekbone.
“I’m not doing anything,” you whispered, but your voice was unsteady.
Heeseung’s lips tilted into a small, knowing smile. His other hand came up, cradling your face fully now, his fingers curling lightly around the edges of your jaw. He tilted your face up slightly, his thumb brushing over your chin in a way that left you breathless.
“You are,” he said softly, his tone leaving no room for argument. He leaned closer, his forehead brushing against yours as his voice dropped even lower. “You always do.”
“Heeseung…” you tried, your voice barely audible, but whatever you wanted to say evaporated as his fingers shifted, tilting your head just enough that his eyes could lock on yours completely. You were pretty sure that his expression was comparable to the one you gave your Taemin poster back in highschool.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, the words so quiet they almost didn’t register.
You didn’t want to stop. The thought of pulling away was laughable. Instead, you gripped the front of his shirt. “I won’t,” you breathed, the words barely leaving your lips.
That was all he needed. He closed the gap between you, his lips hesitantly brushing against yours. It was soft at first, almost testing, but the moment you leaned into him, the kiss deepened.
You melted into him, your hand sliding up to tangle in his hair, and he groaned softly against your lips, the sound sending a thrill through you. His fingers danced across your skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Every brush of his lips, every touch, sent electricity through your veins. His hand slid to the back of your neck, his fingers threading through your hair as he tilted your head slightly, deepening the kiss even more. A soft sound escaped you, and you could feel him smile against your lips..
You responded instinctively, your hand brushing against his chest, then sliding down to the hem of his shirt. The sensation of his warm skin under your fingertips made your breath hitch, but before you could let yourself get lost in the moment, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours.
“You okay?” His voice was low, a little strained, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.
You nodded, still breathing a little heavier than normal. “Yeah. Please don’t stop.”
You gave his hair a small tug again, bringing his lips back to yours. Heeseung’s lips never left yours as he slowly, almost reverently, moved you so that you were straddling him. His hands rested on your waist, his thumbs brushing softly against the exposed skin just above your hips, sending a shiver up your spine. His fingers gently graced the angry red scars along your hip.
“I—Sorry,” you muttered against his lips, your voice barely above a whisper. You turned your face away, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I didn’t mean for you to see those.”
Heeseung’s gaze softened, his fingers stopping at the hem of your shirt. He gently cupped your face with one hand, tilting it upward again so you had no choice but to look into his eyes. “Don’t apologize,” he said quietly, his voice sincere.
You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, Heeseung’s fingers gently brushed over your scars again, this time intentionally. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. “All of you.”
“Heeseung…” you whispered, your voice barely audible as your gaze flickered down to his lips and then back up to meet his eyes again.
He leaned in again, capturing your lips. He deepened the kiss, his lips moving with a slow urgency. His hand, now fully under your shirt, splayed across your stomach, fingers tracing your skin in a way that made your breath hitch. You could feel his warmth radiating against you, every touch, every movement, setting your skin on fire. His lips left yours, trailing along your jawline, down to your neck, kissing, nipping at the skin there. You could feel the heat of his breath against your throat, each kiss igniting a fire that spread throughout your body.
“Can I take your shirt off Y/N”, he breathed out.
You just nodded and he carefully lifted you shirt up, revealing your upper body. He threw your (his) shirt off the bed and gently shifted the two of you, laying you back against the pillows. His lips hovered over yours, his breath warm against your skin as his eyes searched yours. “Fuck, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice deep and rough with emotion. “You’re so hot.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the unexpected comment catching you off guard, but the sound was quickly swallowed by him pressing his lips to yours with a fervor that left you breathless.
His hands began to explore your body again. His fingers grazed the curve of your waist, drifting higher, brushing the edge of your bra. The sensation drew a soft gasp from your lips, and the sound seemed to spur him on. His lips left yours to trail kisses along your jawline, down your neck, and lower. You felt the warm press of his lips against the scars along your hip. He kissed each mark with care, as if they were something to be cherished. Your breath hitched as his gaze flicked upward, meeting yours. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, overwhelmed by the intensity in his eyes. Unable to find the right words, you carefully reached down, your fingers brushing against his jaw as you guided his face closer to yours. Before you could speak, a sudden, sharp pounding on the door shattered the moment.
“Heeseung! I hate to break up whatever’s going on in there, but the coach wants us at the rink in, like, 30 minutes,” Jake’s voice rang out through the closed door.
Heeseung groaned, his forehead falling against yours as his lips curved into a reluctant smirk. “Of course,” he muttered, the warmth of his breath ghosting over your skin. “The world’s worst timing award goes to your father.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly.
As Heeseung and Jake arrived at the rink, a heavy tension hung in the air. The team was scattered around the locker room, each member in a different state of exhaustion.
“Dude, yesterday got crazy after you left,” EJ muttered beside him, still rubbing his temples.
Nicolas, nursing a bruised cheek and offering a wry grin, added, “Not exactly our fault though. Kim Yeoso started it.”
Before Heeseung could ask for more details, the Coach’s voice echoed sharply across the room. “Line up. Now.”
The room fell silent, and a collective weight seemed to settle on everyone as the Coach’s gaze traveled down the line of players. His pacing was slow and deliberate. “Last night was a disgrace. I don’t care who threw the first punch or how it started—this is my team, and I don’t want this kind of attention.”
His glare seared through the team, and though he moved down the line, his eyes rested on Heeseung a beat longer than the others, his silent accusation unmistakable. Heeseung felt the full weight of the words, as if they were directed solely at him. His chest tightened, but he kept his face neutral, silently bracing himself as the Coach continued. Finally, your fathers eyes flickered back to the team with an almost weary finality. “Meeting’s over,” he said, dismissing the rest of the team. “Not you, Heeseung. Stay a minute.”
The players exchanged wary glances as they filed out, each one offering him silent nods of support. Heeseung turned to see the Coach shut the door, his expression shifting from professional disappointment to something far more personal.
His voice was colder than ever when he started speaking: “I’ll ask you once, Heeseung, and I expect a straight answer. What’s going on between you and Y/N?”
His jaw clenched as he quickly composed himself, being caught off guard by the question. “With all due respect, Coach,” he started, his voice calm but firm, “my personal life and Y/N’s are private. I don’t feel it’s appropriate to discuss this with you.”
The Coach’s face darkened, his patience clearly wearing thin. “You think I’m just some overprotective dad, Heeseung?” he bit out, his tone cutting. “She’s barely recovered, and getting involved with you is a distraction she doesn’t need. If you care about her as much as you seem to, you’d understand that.”
Heeseung felt his hands clench at his sides, the anger simmering beneath his calm exterior. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to keep his voice steady. “I understand what she’s been through, Coach. But Y/N is stronger than you’re giving her credit for. And I’m not backing off because it makes you uncomfortable.”
The air between them turned icy. Your fathers expression hardened. “Then you’re making a mistake,” he warned, his voice low, barely contained. “Because if you don’t back off, I’ll make sure there are consequences. And that’s not a threat, Heeseung—that’s a promise.”
Heeseung’s pulse pounded as the gravity of Coach’s words settled in, but he stood firm, his voice unwavering.
“I’m sorry, Coach Choi. But with all due respect, I’m not going anywhere.”
No matter what Coach threatened, Heeseung knew he wouldn’t step back. He was already drafted and chose to go back to college hockey, so the Coach had nothing on him.
Your father held his gaze a moment longer, his expression unreadable but filled with a disappointed resolve. “Fine,” he said curtly. “Then don’t expect me to go easy on you.” Without another word, he turned and walked out, leaving Heeseung standing alone in the empty locker room.
Tumblr media
“It’s not about whether or not you think you’re fine!” Your fathrs voice is sharper than ever, frustration bubbling over as he paces in front of you. “You’re ignoring your own recovery. The doctors said you could walk without crutches, but they didn’t say to push yourself to the point of needing another surgery. What are you thinking?”
The accusation stinged, sharp and unexpected. You blinked, willing yourself not to let him see how much that hurt. Another surgery. He knew, maybe better than anyone, how terrified you were of that possibility. And here he was, throwing it in your face as if it’s something you’d choose—like you’d ever risk it on purpose.
A mix of disbelief and anger rose within you, and you stood up, meeting his intense gaze. “You know I don’t want that. You know better than anyone what I’ve been through, and you think I’d risk more just for one night? I’m not being reckless, I’m just… living my life.”
“Living your life?” he snapped back, his tone filled with frustration. “Living your life means ignoring everything you’ve fought to rebuild, just for a night of fun? I’m trying to keep you from setting yourself back.”
“You’re acting like I don’t take this seriously! Like I haven’t been doing everything I can to heal. I know my body better than anyone, Dad. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you treating me like I’m made of glass.”, your voice was shaking in anger. When your father and Soobin returned from the rink you weren’t even able to properly greet them, before your father started berating you.
Soobin’s voice cut through the tension, calm but unwavering. “She’s an adult, Dad. Y/N knows her limits. You can’t keep controlling everything.”
Your dad turned sharply to face Soobin, his gaze hard. “This isn’t about what she thinks she can handle, Soobin. It’s about being realistic, about protecting her from making choices she’ll regret later.”
Soobin didnt back down. “But you’re treating her like she’s fragile when she’s proven over and over that she’s not.”
“I just don’t want her making reckless decisions,” your dad insited, but his eyes slide back to you. Your dad’s tone was sharp as he moved past your injuries.
“And then there’s Heeseung.” The way he says his name makes you flinch. “He’s a distraction, Y/N. You’re already pushing yourself too hard, and now you’re getting involved with someone who won’t be there when things get difficult. If you’re not careful, you’ll lose focus on everything that matters. And in addition to that you are distracting my captain from his duties.”
Before you could respond, Soobin stepped forward, his voice firm. “Dad, you’re being unfair.”
Your dad turned, surprised, but Soobin stood his ground. “You know Heeseung. You were the one who made him captain because you trusted him to lead. He’s responsible, he’s focused, and he cares about Y/N, more than you’re giving him credit for.”
Your dad’s expression hardened, and he crossed his arms. “He’s a good player, Soobin. But he’s young, and he doesn’t understand what Y/N needs right now.”
“And you think you do?” You countered, voice tight with frustration. “I am an adult. I know what I'm doing. And Heeseung’s been there for me, supporting me, making sure I am taking care of myself. He’s never pushed me into anything that would risk me recovery.”
Your father hesitated, his gaze moving between you and Soobin, a flicker of doubt finally creeping into his expression. But he quickly brushed it off, his jaw set in a familiar look of stubbornness. “You’re not seeing the big picture. I’m trying to protect you, to keep you from making choices you'll regret later.”
You couldn’t hold back anymore. “The only thing I’m going to regret is not standing up for what I want and what I know I can handle. Heeseung isn’t the problem here, Dad. And if you would actually talk to me, you’d know that he’s been nothing but respectful and supportive.”
Soobin looked at your father, his tone more measured. “I trust Heeseung, Dad. You should, too. And more than that, you need to trust Y/N. She knows her limits better than anyone else here.”
Your father’s silence spoke volumes. Finally, he lets out a slow breath, his gaze softening just slightly. “I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt, Y/N.”
“I know,” you said, your voice steadier now. “But I’m not going to let fear control me.”
For once, he didn’t argue, and though the silence remains strained, there’s a glimmer of something that felt like reluctant acceptance. Soobin squeezed your shoulder in quiet reassurance.
Tumblr media
You and Soobin sat cross-legged on Yeonjun's living room floor, surrounded by discarded pizza boxes and half-empty soda cans. You let out a frustrated groan and leaned back, resting your head against the couch right next to Beomgyu's thigh, who patted your head in solidarity.
“Maybe you should just… move out? Like properly," Beomgyu suggested, his voice gentle but with a hint of urgency. "If he sees you’re capable on your own, maybe he’d finally get that you’re an independent adult who knows what she’s doing.”
You sighed. “I’d love to, honestly. But how am I even supposed to manage that?” You groaned, rubbing your temples. “It’s not like I have a job—he’s always insisted that I focus on school, hockey, or ‘recovery.’ Everything’s paid for by him. So if I tried to move out, I’d probably have to ask him for rent money anyway. I’m not really independent.”
Soobin, sitting cross-legged beside you, crossed his arms. “Mom would definitely cover your rent if you asked. She’s offered to help me plenty of times.”
Yeonjun, lounging on the other side of the room with a slice of pizza in hand, smirked. “Yeah, and Soobin, you should really take her up on that sometime. You’ve crashed on my couch way too many nights,” he teased, nudging Soobin’s leg with his foot. “Maybe I could ask her.” You shrugged, the thought of moving out felt a bit daunting.
“Trust me, we’ll find you a place that works,” Yeonjun assured, with his usual casual confidence. He reached over and tousled your hair, smiling as he added, “And hey, if nothing else, my couch will always be happy to host any Choi family member.”
“Thanks, Yeonjun,” you laughed, feeling a little lighter.
In the end, you decided to stay at Yeji’s and Ryujin’s dorm for a few days. You weren’t ready for the full commitment of moving out just yet, but the space away from home was a welcome relief. Their couch became your temporary refuge, a safe distance from the constant arguments and suffocating expectations. 
And it seemed your dad got the hint after a few days of you not coming home and keeping conversations strictly professional at work. You noticed his glances lingering a bit longer than usual whenever he’d pass you at the rink, sometimes with a sigh or a hesitant pause, as if he wanted to say something but held back. Each time he tried, though, Soobin, your (now official) boyfriend, or one of their friends would step in, steering you away from him, often under the guise of needing help with some “urgent task.” 
Heeseung was sprawled out on the couch, fingers deftly moving over the controller as he focused intently on the game playing out on the screen. The familiar sounds of COD echoed through the apartment. You had just returned from physiotherapy, and the session had left you exhausted. You rested your head in Heeseung’s lap, the soft fabric of his sweatpants cushy against your cheek.
“Gotcha!” Heeseung exclaimed suddenly, his excitement pulling you out of your sleepy haze. Just as you began to relax back into the soothing rhythm of him playing, the ringing of Heeseung's phone cut through the peaceful atmosphere. He frowned, glancing down at the screen.
“It’s Jay,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully. He answered the call, holding the phone to his ear. “What’s up?”
You shifted slightly in his lap, burying your face into his stomach, seeking more comfort. Heeseung chuckled, brushing your hair back gently. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s going on?”
As Jay spoke on the other end, Heeseung’s face lit up with a smile. “Oh, curry sounds good!”
At the mention of curry, you stirred, raising your head to look at him. “Oh yes curry.” you mumbled sleepily, your voice muffled against his shirt. Heeseung raised an eyebrow at you, amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Want curry?” he asked, repeating your question back to you. You nodded slowly, still feeling heavy with tiredness, and you buried your face deeper into his stomach as if hiding from the world. You nodded sleepily, and he relayed the message to Jay. “Y/N’s here, and she’s definitely in for some curry,” he said, laughing at how cozy you looked all curled up against him.
After hanging up, Heeseung glanced down at you, his expression softening. “Jay is bringing over curry, is that fine with you?”
You nodded, still half-asleep. “Yeah.”
He chuckled softly, running his fingers through your hair. You shifted again, resting your cheek against his stomach, your eyes fluttering shut for just a moment longer.
“You’re warm,” you murmured, feeling the vibrations of his laughter through your body.
Heeseung’s hand continued to play with your hair, a peaceful silence settling over the room again. “You know, if you keep this up, we might miss dinner and just sleep until tomorrow,” he teased, and you just nodded, not responding anymore.
As sleep began to take hold, Heeseung gently scooped you up in his arms and carried you to his bedroom, tucking you under the blankets. The last thing you felt was his warmth beside you, and then you were out like a light.
You awoke to the sound of animated voices and the smell of food. Blinking against the light, you felt slightly disoriented. As you stepped into the kitchen area, you latched onto Heeseung’s back, burying your face into his shoulder. He chuckled softly, clearly amused.
“Well good evening, nice of you to join us,” he said, leaning back into you.
Jay and Jake turned, both bursting into laughter at the sight. “Look at you two! So cute,” Jake teased, leaning against the counter with a smug grin.
“Heeseung’s gotten so soft, it’s actually embarrassing.” Jay added, shaking his head in mock disbelief. 
As you took a seat at the table, Jay served up generous portions of steaming curry, filling the kitchen with a delicious warmth. You nestled into the chair beside Heeseung, pulling his hoodie sleeves over your hands to keep cozy.
Jake leaned back in his chair, digging into his food. “Not gonna lie, this curry tastes like heaven after today’s practice,” he said, letting out a small groan of appreciation.
Heeseung nodded, laughing. “Tell me about it. Coach was on us the whole time, especially after the last game. I can still feel the bruises from blocking shots in the scrimmage.”
Jake joined in with a laugh. “Y/N, you should’ve seen him. Dude was practically diving in front of pucks like it was a championship game.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “Absolutely no chill.”
“Hey, that ‘no chill’ gets results,” Heeseung shot back, grinning before glancing at you a little more seriously.
“Actually… speaking of practice. Your dad stopped me today. He asked about you.”
You paused mid-bite, meeting Heeseung’s gaze. “ What did he say?”
“Nothing pushy,” Heeseung said, clearly choosing his words carefully. “He just asked if I’d seen you and if you were doing alright.”
You took a moment to process it, unsure how to feel. “I mean, he has been calling. And he has been asking Soobin and Minji where I am. Soobin just told to guess where I am.”
Jay gave a thoughtful nod. “Well, maybe he is trying to fix things?.”
Heeseung gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb tracing slow circles over your knuckles. “I think Jay has a point. Maybe it’s worth giving him a chance to apologize.”
You sighed, your eyes drifting down to your half-finished plate. “It’s just… every time we have a conversation, he manages to make it feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m throwing away his idea of the perfect future, or like my decisions don’t matter. I don’t know if I want to go through all that again.”
Jake, who had been quietly stirring his drink, chimed in with a thoughtful look. “Maybe this time you don’t have to go through all of it. Talk to him on your terms. You don’t owe him anything more than what you’re comfortable with.”
Heeseung nodded. “Exactly. You can set boundaries. I’ll even be there if you want—or, you know, Soobin could tag along for backup moral support.”
Jake chuckled, giving you a reassuring smile. “Just let him do all the talking. Sometimes people need to hear themselves to realize how ridiculous they sound.”
You exhaled slowly,”I’ll think about it.”
You entered the rink together with Jays girl (space) friend, ready to capture the day’s events. The hockey team had organized a special event where they would teach local kids the basics of hockey, and you were there to film some PR content. Heeseung crouched down, demonstrating how to hold a stick while surrounded by a group of eager kids. You couldn’t help but smile as you filmed, completely enchanted by how cute he looked in his hockey gear, patiently explaining everything while the kids watched with wide eyes.
After a while, Heeseung noticed you filming from the sidelines and excused himself from the kids. He made his way over to you.
“Hi baby.” he greeted you, gently taking your face in his hands, tilting it up toward him. His eyes searched yours for a moment, and then he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It was sweet and tender, and you melted into him, completely forgetting about the cameras and the kids for a few blissful seconds.
“Ew. Boo! Get a room!” Beomgyu called out from the sidelines, pretending to gag dramatically, his face scrunched up in mock disgust. You rolled your eyes playfully, trying to suppress a smile.
“Sorry, Beomgyu. Didn’t know you were such a romantic,” you shot back.
Heeseung chuckled. “Don’t be jealous, Gyu. Just appreciate the love in the air.” Heeseung pecked your lips again and went back onto the ice, regrouping the kids for another round of activities. 
Heeseung made his way up to your office when the event ended. He knocked at your door and peaked his face into the room: “Let’s go home babe. The kids are all gone.”
“Give me ten minutes. I’ll be done with the Tiktok recap for today.”, you said, softly smiling at him.
“Sure thing.”, he plopped down onto the sofa in your office and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
As you wrapped up the editing, you couldn’t help but glance over at him. Heeseung was focused, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration, and you felt a rush of affection. When you finished, you got up and sat down on his lap, surprising him.
“Hey there,” he said, a smile breaking through his concentration. His hands found their way to your sides, his touch warm.
“Hi Love.” You leaned in closer, caressing his cheek gently. “I gotta say seeing you with kids? Might be one of the best things ever.” you teased, inching your lips closer to his.
Heeseung’s eyes sparkled, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. “Oh yeah? I guess I’ll have to volunteer more often, then.”
“You just might have to,” you replied, leaning in closer, letting your hand drift to his cheek, your thumb brushing his skin.
He closed the gap between you. The kiss was soft at first, just a gentle brushing of lips, but it quickly deepened as he pulled you closer, his hands resting firmly on your waist. You melted against him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you lost yourself in the moment. You tilted your head to the side and gasped when Heeseung traced your lips with his tongue. His hands started caressing your thighs as you broke the kiss to breathe for a second. He directed his focus onto your neck, kissing it softly.
You closed your eyes and whispered his name, when a sharp knock on your door made you jump apart. “Y/N? Do you have a minute for me?”, your fathers deep voice came from the other side of the door.
You threw a panicked glance at Heeseung, who was frantically trying to smooth his hair and pull his sweatshirt into a more composed position. If your ears were even half as red as his, your father would definitely know what he’d just interrupted. With a quick attempt to brush your own hair back, you got up, meeting Heeseung’s sheepish smile with a reassuring one of your own.
Finally, you took a steadying breath and walked to open the door. “Sure, Dad. Come in.”
Your father stepped inside, taking in the two of you with an expression that looked almost nervous? “Y/N,” he began, his voice hesitant, “can I talk to you for a minute? Both of you, actually.”
You exchanged a quick, curious look with Heeseung before nodding. Heeseung sat up straighter, and your dad took a deep breath before sinking into the office chair opposite you.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” your dad started, his hands clasped tightly together. “About everything… about how I’ve treated you since the accident.” His voice cracked slightly, and you felt your chest tighten.
“I’ve been so hard on you, Y/N. Pushing, hovering, nagging… It’s like I’ve been trying to fix something I can’t undo.”
You blinked, caught off guard by his vulnerability. “Dad…”
“No, let me finish,” he interrupted gently, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I can’t forgive myself for what happened. I feel like I failed you. You’re so young, and you’ve had to deal with so much—too much. And instead of helping you heal, I made things worse by trying to control everything. I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of you hurting, and I thought that if I stayed on top of everything, it might somehow fix things.”
The raw emotion in his voice left you speechless.
“I was wrong,” he continued, looking up at you now, his eyes glassy. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved someone who could help you without suffocating you.”
You swallowed hard, your throat tight. “Dad, I—”
“And Heeseung,” your dad continued, turning his attention to the boy at your side. The tension in the room seemed to double.
Heeseung straightened, his jaw tightening as if bracing for a blow.
“I was hard on you. I know that,” your dad admitted.
“When I found out about you and Y/N, I wasnt exactly happy.”
You winced at the memory, glancing at Heeseung, who gave a small, humorless smile.
“I didn’t want her getting hurt,” your dad said, his voice softer now. “But I realize now that I was wrong about you.” He paused, running a hand over his face before meeting Heeseung’s gaze again. “You’re not just a great captain. You’re a good man. And I couldn’t ask for anyone better to be with my daughter.”
Heeseung looked stunned, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to process the words. Finally, he managed a quiet, “Thank you, sir.”
Your dad gave a small, rueful smile. “You’ve earned it. Both of you have. And I hope you’ll forgive me for the way I’ve handled things. I know it’ll take time to rebuild some of the trust I’ve broken, but I just wanted you both to know how sorry I am.”
For a long moment, silence hung in the air. You felt Heeseung’s hand brush against yours, grounding you, and you reached out to take your dad’s hand.
“Thank you, Dad,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “I’m still mad at you, a little. But… I’m glad you said this. It means a lot.”
Heeseung nodded beside you, his own expression softening. “We appreciate it,” he said sincerely. “Really.” Your dad gave a small, watery smile.
The hotel room was softly lit, the glow from the bedside lamp casting a golden hue. You were at the small vanity, adjusting your earrings. Behind you, Heeseung was sprawled out on the bed, still in his undershirt and slacks, scrolling absentmindedly on his phone.
“You’re not even close to being ready,” you teased, catching his reflection in the mirror.
Heeseung smirked, locking his phone and stretching out lazily. “I’m waiting for you to come help me with this dumb tie. You know I suck at it.”
“You could have learned by now,” you chided, turning to face him. “But no, you just like making me do it for you.”
“Maybe,” he said, sitting up. “But it’s also an excuse to keep you close.”
You rolled your eyes but crossed the room anyway. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he teased, sitting up and letting his knees part slightly so you could stand between them.
Heeseung grinned, holding the tie up like a peace offering. You took it from him, carefully looping and pulling it into a neat knot. He watched you the entire time, his eyes soft and unwavering.
“You’re staring,” you mumbled, focusing on his tie.
“Because you’re beautiful,” he said simply.
Your fingers faltered for a second before continuing, looping the tie around his neck and starting to knot it.
“You’re so cheesy.”
“And you love it,” he quipped, echoing your usual response.
Heeseung tilted his head slightly, watching you with that warm, unrelenting gaze that always made your heart skip. As you finished the tie, your fingers brushing against his chest, he reached out to grab your hand, stopping you before you could step back. “Are you sure I look good enough to be seen with you?”
You arched a brow, feigning consideration. “Hmm. Maybe. You clean up okay.”
“Just okay?” he asked, tugging gently on your hand to pull you closer. His other hand slid to your waist, his thumb tracing slow circles against the fabric of your dress.
“Better than okay,” you admitted softly, feeling his warmth seep through the fabric.
“That’s more like it.” Heeseung’s voice dropped an octave. His free hand reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before his fingers traced lightly down the side of your neck.
“You’re staring again,” you murmured, your voice unsteady under his gaze.
“Can you blame me?” he said, his lips quirking into a grin. “You’re stunning.”
“Flatterer,” you mumbled, though your cheeks flushed at his words.
“You’re blushing,” he teased, leaning in until your noses were almost touching.
“Stop it,” you whispered, half laughing, but you didn’t pull away.
“Make me.” 
He didn’t give you a chance to respond before his lips were on yours, soft at first, just a gentle brush. But the moment you leaned into him, he made a low sound deep in his throat, and the kiss shifted—growing hungrier, more urgent. His hand slid around your waist, pulling you flush against him, while the other cradled your face. One of his hands came up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek, the simple gesture making your heart race even faster.
You couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped you when he deepened the kiss, his tongue tentatively exploring as though he was savoring every second. Your hands instinctively flew to his hair, tangling in the soft strands as you pulled him closer. He groaned at the sensation, his fingers tightening slightly against your back. A soft whimper escaped your throat when he tilted his head, adjusting the angle to kiss you even deeper. His lips were warm and insistent, moving against yours with a mixture of passion and care that made your heart race. The hand on your back shifted, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles that made your skin tingle even through the fabric of your dress.
He pulled back just slightly, enough to draw in a breath, but his forehead stayed pressed to yours. His eyes were hooded, his pupils dark with something that made your stomach flip. His thumb grazed your lower lip.
“You’re going to drive me crazy,” he murmured, his voice low and rough.
“Right back at you,” you whispered, but before you could catch your breath, he leaned back in, capturing your lips again.
This time, the kiss was slower but no less intense, his lips lingering as though memorizing the taste of you. His hand drifted upward, tangling lightly in the hair at the nape of your neck, while yours tightened their grip in his. The small tug you gave his hair made him groan again, the sound vibrating against your lips and sending a delicious thrill down your spine. His free hand slid along your waist, his fingers curling slightly against the fabric of your dress as though he couldn’t decide whether to hold you closer or take his time exploring. A small, breathless sound escaped you, and he pulled back just enough to look at you.
“You taste like vanilla,” he murmured, his voice husky and low.
“Is that a complaint?” you asked, your voice breathless, your fingers still tangled in his hair.
“Not even close,” he whispered before diving back in, his lips capturing yours with a renewed fervor.
When he finally pulled away, his lips hovered just above yours, a self-satisfied smirk spreading across his face.“Still think we’re going to be late?”
You laughed, brushing a hand through his hair to smooth it. “Definitely.”
“And I don’t even feel bad about it,” he said, leaning in to steal one more kiss before letting you go.
“Come on,” you said, grabbing your clutch from the nightstand. “Get your jacket. We’re already pushing it.”
He hopped up, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. As you turned toward the door, he caught your hand and pulled you back to him. “For the record,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear, “I don’t care if we miss the gala entirely. I’ve already got everything I want right here.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face. “You’re impossible.”
“I am just lucky you love me.” he said, flashing you that boyish grin as he opened the door for you.
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for reading! Lots of Love
1K notes · View notes
nyancrimew · 9 months ago
Text
Kolladderall, the band of my wife (@sajjji) released a new single AND music video today for their upcoming album CHAOT*INA (coming out next week). go check out the music video and lmk if u can spot me (the song is in swiss german but there are english subtitles available on the video)
youtube
the song is also out on bandcamp, soundcloud and spotify (and most other streaming services)
and in the further album release rollout there are two upcoming Kolladderall shows for which i will also be playing a DJ set each!
the first one is next friday (the 3rd of may) at the Cafete in the Reitschule in Bern:
Tumblr media
and then exactly a week later on the 10th of may is the album release party at the Rümpeltum in St. Gallen, where i will be djing the afterparty (either until i run out of songs or everyone has left :p)
Tumblr media
608 notes · View notes
rivalsforlife · 7 months ago
Text
Ace Attorney Investigations Collection Announced
Tumblr media
At the Nintendo Direct today, news I have been tirelessly waiting six years for arrived: The Ace Attorney Investigations games are coming to all modern consoles! This includes Ace Attorney Investigations 2 (now officially known as Ace Attorney Investigations: Prosecutor's Gambit), after THIRTEEN YEARS of being a Japan-exclusive game!
Now everyone gets to experience Debeste Ace Attorney games! ... The Winner Ace Attorney Games!
Key Information
The collection is coming out on September 6, 2024 to the Nintendo Switch, PS4, XBOX One, Windows, and Steam. It will be available in Japanese, English, French, German, Korean, and Traditional and Simplified Chinese, with new voice dubs. Most of the information in this post will be coming from the official website, which you can check out for more details.
The reveal trailer is as follows:
youtube
There's lots of information here, so let's break it down:
New Features
Since these were originally Nintendo DS games, there's a massive jump in graphic quality to HD! This includes a new interface for Logic, the court record, and redone full-body sprites. But if you prefer the classic look, the AAI collection will let you swap between the sprite styles:
Tumblr media
Similarly to the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and 456 Collection, the AAI Collection includes story mode, dialogue history, a gallery containing concept and special art, and music including orchestral arrangements of the soundtrack.
You can also change the in-game soundtrack to rearranged tracks! This applies to Confrontation - Allegro, Confrontation - Presto, Objection 2009, and Pursuit - Chase Down The Truth (commonly known as Lying Coldly) with and without the intro.
Pre-Order Bonuses
Much like the AAI tracks, AAI2 arranged tracks can play in game, but these are currently restricted to pre-order bonuses (though this might change in the future). This includes Confrontation - Allegro 2011, Confrontation - Presto 2011, Objection 2011, and the intro and non-intro versions of Pursuit - Uncover The Truth (commonly known as Wanting To Find The Truth).
That's all on the English side, but much like the 456 collection, Japan has a physical collector's edition called the Mitsurugi (Edgeworth) Checkmate Set. This includes an arranged mini-album of songs by other composers, and new album art by Tatsuro Iwamoto.
Tumblr media
The new songs include "Objections of Different Eras" (seemingly a remix of Objections 2009 and 2011), "Raven that Pursues The Truth" (remix of Kay's theme), "It's Time for Action!" (remix of Gumshoe's theme), "Howling Echoes" (remix of Lang's theme), and "Unveiling the Truth" (remix of the Pursuit songs).
This collection also includes a diorama set:
Tumblr media
The set has two backgrounds (the rooftop of the Grand Tower and Edgeworth's office), and has standees of Edgeworth, Kay, Gumshoe, Franziska, Lang, Gregory, and... Verity and Eustace.
Which is a good segue into:
Localization Differences
Since most AA fans will be familiar with the fantastic AAI2 fan translation, the new names will likely be an adjustment for all of us. Characters in AAI (like Kay and Lang) will not have their names changed, just characters that were previously exclusive to AAI2.
Known name changes include:
Yumihiko Ichiyanagi / Sebastian Debeste -> Eustace Winner
Hakari Mikagami / Justine Courtney -> Verity Gavèlle
Tateyuki Shigaraki / Raymond Shields -> Eddie Fender
We also know that Manosuke Naito / Horace Knightley's new last name is Knight, and Gai Tojiro / Ethan Rooke's last name is Rook, which isn't much of a departure from fan translation names. We also know that Mikiko Hayami / Nicole Swift's new last name is Lloyd. I will provide updates on more names when they become available!
Regardless of your feelings on the new names - it's going to be an adjustment for everyone used to the fan translation that has been around ten years now - let's all keep in mind that despite the new names, the characters behind the names will be the same. And personally, as a massive fan of AAI2, I think the adjustment will be worth it if it means that more people get to experience my favorite ace attorney game for themselves.
With this announcement, all canonical ace attorney games have been ported to modern consoles and given an English translation. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, this announcement is thirteen years in the making for AAI2! This is an unprecedented time for the popularity and accessibility of Ace Attorney.
(All we need now is the Layton crossover...)
Thank you all for joining me in this excitement and I look forward to collecting and sharing more updates as they arrive!
429 notes · View notes
dqrciedaily · 10 months ago
Text
baby arsenal, arsenal wfc x teen!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: y/n is so younger me coded minus the fact that she is german
also promise more fics coming soon x
-
y/n y/l/n, the sixteen year old rising star of not only the german national team but also arsenal women's football club, had seamlessly transitioned from the bustling streets of cologne to the vibrant city of london. her two older brothers, max and louis, had started her passion for football from a young age, sculpting her into the strong defender she was today. they always had her in the garden with them having a kick about before urging their father to let her go for trials at the local club, which deemed to be extremely successful.
arsenal had scouted y/n whilst she was playing for fc köln. three weeks later her and her parents were signing papers and organising living arrangements as well as the school situation. they settled on her living with lia as well as her attending the local school in the area.
as the first initial weeks passed, her once shy demeanor melted away, replaced by a vibrant personality that charmed everyone around her. she had also very quickly picked up the name ‘baby arsenal’ from fans and soon her teammates had started calling her that too. kyra and y/n had almostly instantly became friends, pulling y/n out of her nonexistent shell within two weeks, along with victoria, teyah and laura, y/n settled in quickly.
one friday evening, y/n found herself invited to a party by her school friends. eager to fit in with the english teenage life she hastily accepted. embracing the opportunity to get to know her new friends in a different environment, as well as allowing herself to fully relax since moving to the foreign country.
ignoring the cold english weather, y/n slipped on one of her favourite backless black dresses and a pair of her friend’s high heels, that her long legs definitely weren’t accustomed to. many pre drinks later they arrived at the party at nine pm, the minute the group of girls arrived at the party they were straight into the open arms of their other friends. music was blaring as y/n slowly let herself relax, she couldn’t even remember how many new people she had met.
however, the temptation of the party proved too intoxicating, the drinks flowed freely, and before she knew it, the world was slowly tilting on its axis, spinning out of control as she succumbed to the intoxicating haze. the party deemed to be a bit boring now that it had reached past eleven pm, so on her unsteady feet y/n managed to walk out the party and onto the side walk. with her vision blurred and her balance faltering, she fumbled for her phone and dialed kyra’s number, interrupting what was supposed to be a cozy game night for the rest of the team.
"ky! oh my goodness i can’t believe you picked up, i have so much to tell you!” y/n giggled into the phone, "there were like so many pretty girls here tonight and i’m bloody freezing over here. i also had so many drinks! oh and I can't get home. oh and have i ever old you how much i love you! ich liebe dich ky ky…"
throughout the phone call kyra switched it onto speakerphone meaning that everyone could hear the state y/n was in. without hesitation, steph, one of y/n’s self-appointed team mums sprang into action. definitely breaking some speed limits as she rushed to y/n’s location, she found her disoriented but relieved to see she was still standing. quickly getting out the car she wrapped an arm around her guiding her to the
upon their arrival back to lia’s house, leah, kim, lia, beth and steph gathered around y/n, their concern evident in their expressions. "y/n," kim began, her voice gentle yet firm, "you can’t be going around getting drunk, especially at sixteen! what were you thinking?" but before kim’s rant could continue leah placed a hand on the skippers shoulder, “you're young, and we understand that, but you have to be responsible, especially considering the position you're in.” kim nodded her head in agreement before saying, “you're part of this team now, and that means holding yourself to a higher standard than this.”
with a deep breath, she nodded in acknowledgment, her resolve hardening with each passing moment. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "i'll do better, i promise."
with that kyra, stina and laura lead her upstairs. the high heels long forgotten in the hallway as steph urged her to take them off after watching her stumble around in them. laura mumbled soothing words in german as she slipped an oversized t-shirt over y/n’s head, letting the dress fabric pool at her ankles. stina handed laura shorts for her whilst kyra rummaged around in the bathroom for makeup remover.
with tender care, kyra removed the remnants of makeup on her face, before stina tucked her into bed with gentle hands. laura laid the dress over the back of her desk chair as y/n’s eyelids drooped with exhaustion, her body finally catching up with the events of the evening as she sank into the embrace of her plush duvet.
kyra brushed a stray lock of hair from y/n’s forehead, with a final exchange of reassuring smiles kyra, stina and laura bid her goodnight, their footsteps fading into the distance as they left her to sleep. alone in the quiet of her room, y/n closed her eyes, a sense of peace washing over her as sleep overcame her senses.
but just as she began to drift into slumber, a soft knock sounded at her door, and lia entered, her face lit up by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. In her hands she carried a glass of water and a small packet of tablets, her expression one of concern and care.
"here you go, y/n/n," lia said softly, her voice a whisper in the stillness of the room. "drink this, and take these tablets. they'll help with the headache in the morning." she sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on y/n’s leg, rubbing soothing circles on it. “they’re not mad at you i promise maus. let’s just keep the drinking on the cool for now, okay?”
y/n accepted the water and tablet with a grateful nod, as lia got up to leave the room she turned off the bedside table before whispering “schlaf gut maus.” the door closing behind her, the room going pitch dark allowing y/n to finally drift to sleep.
481 notes · View notes
felassan · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Dragon Age™: The Veilguard - Patch 4 Release Notes
"We have a patch to celebrate Dragon Age Day, as well as more goodies to come. In Patch 4, you will find a great new tool to take photos of our amazing cutscenes, and 20+ bug fixes."
Rest of post under cut due to length and possible spoilers.
"Hey everyone, Happy Dragon Age Day! First things first, we have our 4th patch out today, and we’ll have even more to come throughout the day to celebrate this yearly tradition. Thank you for being with us on this journey! New Content:  - Dragon Age 2 Hawke’s Iconic Outfit (Armor, Body Paint, Face Paint) - Qunari Complexions (Two new complexions for the Qunari lineage)"
"Quality of Life Changes:  - In Patch 3, we introduced a line on screen showing where a Photo Mode screenshot was saved. In Patch 4, we are reverting that change due to a safety concern brought to us by some content creators. PC players can find their Photo Mode screenshots in Documents/BioWare/Dragon Age: The Veilguard/screenshots - Added an in-game Setting to turn off Bloom.  - Added a “Hide/Show UI” button on the pause screen to better take screenshots on Console.  - Added a “Take Photo” button on the pause screen to take screenshots during conversations and cinematics on PC."
Bug Fixes:  - Fixed an issue that prevented some saves from loading properly. (PC Only) - Fixed an issue that was preventing the Frame Rate Limit setting from being saved.  - Fixed an issue with Rook’s face and hair changing drastically when a save is loaded. - Fixed an issue with certain longer hairstyles that floated above Rook’s chest and shoulders.  - Fixed an issue where two Neve characters could appear in the Fire and Ice quest.   - Fixed a rare issue where Emmrich did not lead Rook to the next task in his recruitment Where the Dead Must Go quest.  - Adjusted the spirit guides in The Warden Vault quest.   - Fixed an issue that caused the Ultimate Ability to swap to the default Ultimate.  - Fixed an issue where the Ultimate Ability Icon was not displayed after Bellara is recruited.  - Fixed an issue where the first hit in a Warrior Rook’s shield throw may miss the target unintentionally.  - Fixed an issue where the Slaughter of Pillars Revenant had no health bar.  - Fixed an issue that caused Achievement Progress to reset when a new Rook was created. This will not restore Achievement Progress that was overwritten, but your Rooks will no longer compete with each other for who can kill more High Dragons.  - Fixed an issue with the camera in The Demon’s Bargain quest when playing on an HDD.  - Fixed an issue with the camera in the Sea of Blood quest if Rook backtracked too far.  - Fixed two instances where Viago was clearly talking to Rook but was too absorbed by Teia’s beauty and staring at her instead.  - Fixed an issue with Photo Mode screenshots appearing slightly blurry for some players.  - Fixed an issue where taking a screenshot with the space bar in Photo Mode also toggled the highlighted setting at the same time. (PC Only)  - Fixed an audio issue that caused battle music to stop playing while Rook was still fighting darkspawn in A Warden’s Best Friend quest.  - Fixed an audio issue that prevented music from playing during a conversation with Lucanis in the Lighthouse.  - Fixed a rare lighting issue in the One Last Breath quest - Fixed a blocking issue in the Fire and Ice quest when returning to the Lighthouse.  - Fixed a blocking issue in the Blood of Arlathan quest if Rook backtracked too far. - Fixed a UI issue that caused the “New Item” highlight to get stuck on an item.  - Fixed an issue with the In Lost Friendship codex that was mentioning events out of order and possibly with the wrong companion.  - Fixed an issue that was causing the male British Inquisitor (Harry Hadden-Paton) to be pitched too low.  - Updated several German voice line instances with corrected translations."
[source]
132 notes · View notes
museenkuss · 2 months ago
Text
Marie Museenkuss Advent Calendar
For this advent season, I've prepared a selection of little treats - recipes, things to read or things to watch that I enjoy (or wrote) and am excited to share with you over the next few days. Each day, I'll 'open' another door to reveal the treat. I hope we can celebrate and have fun together!
[💎] To start, a cosy Christmas crime classic: Hercule Poirot's Christmas
[🦊] One of my all-time favourite fairy tales, Allerleirauh, can be read on this website! If you'd like to turn pages and see an illustration or two, you can also read it in the Green Fairy Book via archive.org, but beware - that version is censored!
[🪞] An all-time classic of a different kind, maybe just in time now that the New Year is slowly seeping in: Joan Didion's Essay "On Self Respect"
[💌] Feelings inspired to write? I’ve got some shimmering, cool, delicate december prompts ready for you!
[🗝️] In the spirit of the censored Allerleirauh: Read my thoughts on death, mutilation and the gruesome in fairy tales
[👢] On the morning of the sixth, German children will find little treats in their boots that Nikolaus left for them the night before. Let's use some of them (apples, marzipan(optional), nuts) to make a traditional German christmas treat - the Bratapfel. Rezept. Authentic English recipe.
[🏮] Let's take a virtual trip to the Tate and look at Sargent's Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose in two short videos that focus on description and technique!
[✨] The nostalgic excitement of entering a theatre and watching the other guests before the show - Chanel's A/W 2024/25 Haute Couture Show blends Opera and High Fashion.
[☕️] Today (very appropriate for the temperature drop), we're learning how to make French hot chocolate: [written recipe] [video]
[🦢] Do you have an hour to spare? Enjoy this charming little volume on perfume from 1928, a love letter to fragrance filled with anecdotes from all over the world and illustrated by the wonderful George Barbier: The romance of perfume by Richard Le Gallienne
[🌹] A Renaissance princess and her baroque prince... Here's a magical performance of Sleeping Beauty by the Bolshoi Ballet
[12] 🎪
[🍰 ] With eleven days left, there's still more than enough time to make the Fortnum&Mason Christmas Cake in time for Christmas! [the official F&M christmas cookbook has a very similar recipe for a fruit cake, but without the soaking and with a layer of fondant on top. let me know if you'd be interested in that, I'll post a pic]
[💋] today, let’s read one of my favourite sensual poems for winter: Francis Jammes — Tu Seras Nu (You will be nude), translated by Kenneth Rexroth
[🖋] This sunday, let's write! Or, alternatively: Let's daydream! Here are some brand new prompts for inspiration.
[🎞️] In the spirit of daydreaming: You and I by Papooz, Weak for your Love by Thee Sacred Souls, Mystery by Raveena are three extremely different but visually stunning music videos to songs I absolutely adore. To start this week, take a little moment to watch and listen, dream and dance.
[🍷] Easy poached pears in red wine with vanilla - a gorgeous, ruby-coloured dessert. I've made (regular) poached pears before and they are just as easy as this title suggests. But I'm SO eager to try (and share <3) this variant!
[18] 🎠
[🐻] After a long, tiring day of Christmas shopping (or Christmas stress), let's relax with a whimsical film! Panna a netvor (Beauty And The Beast) from 1978 <3
[💫] Imagine a zine, except more whimsical and more complicated - today, we're learning how to make a Victorian Puzzle Purse! They're so pretty, perfect add-ons for a christmas gift - or adorable presents in their own right.
[🩰] I feel like Christmas is the time where we can truly reconnect to the magic of childhood. So today, let's put on our (imaginary) ballet slippers and do a little 5-min Nutcracker ballet choreo in our living room! Whether we're dancers or not honestly doesn't matter - nobody is watching us, this is all about enjoying the fantasy of a snow-sparkling night. We're playing pretend! And if you'd rather improvise to something more dramatic, I used to whirl around to Borodin's Polovtsian Dances.
[🕰️] During this cold, dark evening, I present to you one of my favourite poems, caught between romanticism and irony: Heine's Old Chimney Piece (in translation).
[🎟️] About a year ago, Joel Haver made a video looking back on 4 years of uploading weekly short films. It's one of my favourite videos, visually, in its tone and regarding its message, and I feel now that the year is coming to a close, it might be a really inspiring watch: it's been fun.
[🎄] I wish I could invite you all over to show you the illustrated edition of E.T.A. Hoffmann's Nutcracker that my parents gifted me in 2001. Instead, I offer you a very nice translation: Nutcracker and the King of Mice - and, if you're the audiobook type, I found a good translation with Tchaikovsky's music here. The story is haunting, delicate, glittering, unheimlich. It starts on Christmas Day and infuses the following days and nights with magic. It was such a joy to share this Advent Calendar with you and I hope that with this, I can share some of my Christmas festivities with you, too, since they're so entwined with this story (and since the first chapters also somewhat accurately depict how I celebrate Christmas, too - on the evening of the 24th, after decorating the tree). Lots and lots of Love, darlings! I hope you have a magical day, a magical evening, and a very Merry Christmas!
120 notes · View notes
alleannaharris · 2 years ago
Text
Today's Black History Month illustration is of Josephine Baker. She was a world famous entertainer, WWII spy, and activist.
Tumblr media
Freda Josephine McDonald was born in St. Louis, Missouri in 1906. Her parents were both vaudeville performers, but Baker would have to take on odd jobs to help support her family.
Tumblr media
At the age of 15, she ran off and joined a dance troupe from Philadelphia. She also got married, took her husband’s last name, dropped her first name and started going by the name Josephine Baker. After acting and dancing in musicals, she moved to New York City and was soon performing at the Plantation Club where she became a crowd favorite.
Tumblr media
In 1925, Baker went to Paris to dance at the Théâtre des Champs-Élysées in La Revue Nègre. When the Revue closed, she was given her own show and her career skyrocketed.
Tumblr media
She was the first Black woman to star in a motion picture and one of the first Black entertainers to achieve acclaim on screen and stage.
Baker became a citizen of France in 1937. When the Germans occupied France during WWII, she worked with the Red Cross and the French Resistance by transporting confidential information by writing with invisible ink on her sheet music. She was awarded the Croix de Guerre and the Legion of Honor with the rosette of the Résistance.
Tumblr media
Baker traveled many times to the US to participate in the civil rights movement. She was the only woman who spoke at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1968.
Tumblr media
Her time at home forced her to confront segregation and discrimination that she didn’t experience overseas. She often refused to perform for segregated audiences and club owners were forced to integrate for her shows.
Tumblr media
She continued to perform until her death in 1975, during the celebration of the 50th anniversary of her Paris debut.
I’ll be back on Monday with the last illustration and story!
2K notes · View notes
cads-the-cat · 16 days ago
Text
Sleep Token is being turned into a brand rather than a band and being commercialised to a point where it will harm them more than help them
An opinion on there being too much ST merch
Befofe starting this, i want to clear up a few things
I am aware that Vessel and ii probably have very little responsibility/say in this and it's the management/rca who is doing this
Yes, i am a fan and i support them. However, it is unhealthy and not good to blindly support every decision and action of your favourite artist, person etc without questioning them and holding them accountable
I know that earning money with music in times of streaming is hard/impossible but that does not justify those moves of tryihg to get as much money as possible out of them
This also applies to other bands, but the extent to which this aapplies to ST is extreme compared to others
We are one week into this year and there has already been a new merch drop. After 6 days. You know when the last one was? Less than a month ago. Same merch shop (US). The items? Some of them questionable (flannels??). The leather jacket? Insane (not in a good way). It looks okay but you could make one yourself and make it look way cooler and get it for less money as one of my tumblr moots said.
I remember last year up until July/August it kind of was a running joke in the fandom about the emails with obtain and how we're too broke to obtain, but now? This is not a joke anymore. Ever since last year we have gotten emails ALMOST EVERY MONTH, sometimes even several times a month about new merch releases.
Yes, there are different stores worldwide, but we live in a time of international shipping. And even for one store it's lots of releases. Plus then there's all the licensed products shops like Hot Topic, Impericon, EMP and whatever their local equivalents are, who also constantly release more merch.
What's even worse: a lot of those things are either a shitty quality (if i remember right, one of the hoodies or tshirts from the EU tour 2024 had the print peeling off after one wash) and/or really bland. Where is the cool art, the thing that makes these items special? I got a tshirt from the German Rituals 2023 with this sick artwork on it that i cherish more than anything. But compared to that most tour merch of the more recent tours has been nothing special.
Most of them just have the logo on it and it reminds me of any ither fashion brand. There's only so many jumpers and t-hsirts and sweatshirts with the logo that a person needs and the constant release of new but actually the same stuff is creating this insane overconsumption which harms fans' bank accounts and the environment and is straight up boring. There's nothing about them that makes them special and unique and cool. It feels like at this point it is a contest of how many ST logos can they plaster on an item before it looks ridiculous (on the leather jacket i counted at least four, three of them massive).
Which brings me to the next point. People just slap on a ST logo because the band is so hyped and to make money off it or get more clicks, even if it is only remotely related to them. I understand that in today's world you need to use buzzwords to make people pay attention, but with ST it has reached the most ridiculous level. The air of anticipation some magazines or brands build around some upcoming stuff with words like Worship and whatever, which everyone connects to ST, just to reveal a mid product or result is just horrible and will eventually make it less effective which can harm the band in the long run if they can't build up excitement for new releases as much as they could because everyone is 'burnt out' because it's been overused.
Overall, this insane amount of merch and using ST to sell anything or get clicks is not okay. The fan base is so dedicated and loyal and we deserve better than to be - for the lack of a better word - exploited like this just because we like and support an artist. Prices for everything have been rising for years and it's hard for a lot of us financially. We spend so much money on concerts already and then the ton of merch and everything on top is just too much. ST as a brand is used to exploit fans which is not how you should treat your fans (again want to emphasise that this is mostly on management and label, not Vessel)
You might think 'But you don't have to go to concerts or buy their merch'. That's right, you don't. But concerts are kind of the thing when you're a fan of a band, and you want to support your fave band abd wear merch and show that you like them. However, the merch and everything is limited and posed in a way that creates FOMO and everyone is always drilled to Consume and Obtain (yes that's how capitalism works and that is not good in this situation because it harms us fans so much.) I can't deny I've given in to this as well twice during the EU shows and i am now left with an underwhelming sweatshirt and a hat that i never really needed and probably wouldn't have bought if i hadn't been in this mindset so much.
'Oh but i want to support Vessel and the band.' Yes, merch does help out artists, especially in times of streaming. But how much do you think they make? Merch is using little to no lyrics or song related things that the band could earn money off due to copyright. And i don't know who owns the right to the logo (i did some research and found someone in management with three trademarks on something ST related but it never specified if that applies to just the name or the logo or the music or whatever - it was not Vessel though). Who knows how much is going to management and the label and how much the band actually earns. Right now it feels like the management and label want to make as much money possible from them for their own gain. As an alternative to support them, start buying their albums and vinyls so they earn more money off their songs.
So, what do i want? Obviously i don't want fans to stop buying merch because it does help artists to some degree. However, I want less merch releases, one or maximum two a year per merch store (so AUS, US and UK/EU). We can have a few simple designs with the logo on it, but i also want some cool pieces with art or something else that makes them special. I know artists are expensive and stuff, but that's why you make less items but higher quality. Make them available in larger quantities so that more people can buy them and they will still get their money. Plus you always have extra tour merch, which is another extra release. Make the merch special again and make it mean something to people instead of just being another logo like a fashion brand.
If they continue like this fans will eventually be unable to afford stuff, people will turn away from merch because they realise it's all the same, and the effect of using ST as a brand/connection simply to sell stuff will harm their reputation (it already is). Whoever is responsible for this merch insanity needs to put a stop to it. Please!
This is just my opinion. Disagree if you want to. Some things, especially the effects of the situation, are portrayed slightly exaggerated, but this is how it makes me feel and I truly believe this is not a great situation we're in right now with the merch.
(Not taking any responsibility for typos)
62 notes · View notes
Text
Die Katze und die Maus.
Pt.2
König had a bad day, a bad mission, he was captured by your team, meanwhile your first encounter with a KorTac member is an unforgettable experience, his little games have you asking for more.
Warning ⚠️: spelling and grammar errors everywhere, translator for the German words, long read, there's no physical description about the reader so this could still work for a female or gn reader?, credits of this image go to the Pinterest user: Keira.
By the way, 🩷Thanks🩷 to the people who asked me a second part of this story, I hope you like it. I had much fun writing it.✨
📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You think you're becoming paranoid, lately you feel eyes on you all the time, on the other hand you've been very lucky in your missions, you don't believe in superstitions but you started to see König's knife as your lucky charm, even your friends made jokes about it.
«... y/n practically sleeps with that goddamn knife!» «Y/N kisses that knife when no one is watching her»
Of course you pretend it's not funny but in fact you're still thinking, even dreaming about the owner of that knife.
Your captain was not pleased but also not upset with König's escape, at least now they have his name and a short physical description, not very specific, you only described his eyes and scar. You shut your mouth when they asked you how you knew about the scar and the color of his lips.
Your lieutenant, ghost, he doesn't seem happy either, he gets clearly annoyed every time Soap or Gaz and Price make a comment about your new friend.
Of course you tried to talk with him about it but his excuse is always the same «i should have stayed in your place and that guy would be dead now and we wouldn't have to listen how he made you weak so easily».
He always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when he talks about König like that, you feel like you failed your team. In the next missions after that he drags you with him and you do your best to prove you're in the right place.
This mission is very different, undercover mission, all the team is wearing a suit and tie, you, of course, are wearing a dress, not so provocative but at least it is distracting enough to capture the attention of your Target.
You and the captain are walking around looking for the man. Ghost, Soap and Gaz are also around, sitting in the bar, close to the bathroom, close to the principal door.
- If we separate perhaps we can find it faster.
- it's alright, we have time enough, dove.
You smile at him nervously, not because you're nervous, it's just that you don't feel comfortable wearing this kind of clothes, you're accustomed to your uniform and boots.
- You look good, kid.
- Thanks captain, oh... There he is, our target. Let's go.
Both walk to the target, price pretends he's getting drinks while you're waiting, the man approaches you smiling brightly. Both are exchanging words, price joins with the drinks and a hand appears between all of you. A tall man in a black suit, his hair is bright and wavy, then you notice something very familiar, blue eyes and a scar on the lips, silently asking your hand to dance.
You give a quick stare to your captain and he nods, he's too busy trying to make the target finish his drink that he didn't notice who is this guy, while you're walking to the dancefloor you try to look for your other teammates, alerting them but no one's at the sight. Once the music starts, you feel his big hand in your back, the butterflies in your stomach are like crazy inside you but you're trying to play it cool.
- Are you spying on me, König?
- Nein, at least not today Schätzchen (sweetie) my target is in this party too.
- Not today? So in fact you've been spying on me. Who's your target?
You're looking around to find someone who can be a possible target but everybody looks very normal.
- Many questions. I have one for you.
- Go on.
- Where's your boyfriend, Mäuschen (little mouse)?
You stare up at him, clearly surprised, he smirks mockingly.
- Don't try to fool me, schatz, the guy with a skull mask.
- He's not my boyfriend.
- Ahhh, that will make it simpler then.
You're still not understanding what he is trying to say.
- If he was your boyfriend, I was thinking about... You know, eliminate him from the equation, but now you're telling you're single, it's simple.
- Be more specific, König.
- Mäuschen (little mouse), when I said the game started, I was talking about flirting, this is my way to say I like you. I've been keeping an eye on you and seeing your jealous friend dragging you around with him so you don't stay alone, made me think you were with him.
- What if I don't want to play to flirt?
You're trying to dare him, He gets close to your ear, his lips almost touching your skin.
- I know you're lying meine Liebling, I can hear your heartbeat getting faster, your skin shivered when i touched it and your eyes had a nice bright as soon as you discovered it was me and you've been licking and biting your lips since we're here, is Meine Mäuschen (my little mouse) silently asking me to kiss her?
Now both are face to face, your lips and his almost touching, you feel your desire running through your body, invading you, he's smiling, he knows very well what you're feeling. Unfortunately the moment breaks when Ghost appears, clearing his throat, you give a step back, observing both men. König's smile doesn't disappear, he fixes his tie, blinks an eye to you and kisses your hand, then he leaves. You feel like your brain is floating in the air, the sensation of his lips on your hand, Ghost brings you back to reality when he puts his hand on your shoulder.
He asked you if you knew who he was because you and him talked for several minutes, you denied it, your argument was you were merely being friendly with the guy. The mission was successfully, your team obtained the necessary. All of you were leaving when you saw König again. You're walking behind your teammates when someone takes you by the arm, dragging you to a small service closet.
Without wasting time, König smashes his lips with yours, both were hungry for each other, melting. His arms around your waist and hips, your hands around his neck, you can't say how long the kiss was but you knew you would have to find a good lie to justify your absence. After a small pause he cleans your messed lipstick with his thumb. You feel like a teenager, hiding things from your parents but it's exciting, the adrenaline he makes you experiment with is addictive.
- You're losing the game, Meine Liebe. You're being caught easily.
- Perhaps, I like to be caught, perhaps the 'maus' is captivating the 'katze' so it can fall in the trap.
Both smile at each other, you fix your hair, his and his tie, you leave the place first, to your surprise, Gaz is waiting for you outside, he hasn't seen you so you take off your shoes and break the heel of one, that was your lie, you disappear because you went to the bathroom and on the way your heel broke.
You and your team are in the truck, ready to leave when an explosion and fire started, right in the location where you were. Your captain doesn't waste time waiting orders, he makes all of you go back to the place, everybody take the necessary to fight, there's people running, screaming and some other shooting at them, Soap and Gaz are responding to the attacks, defending the hostages, the captain is evacuating while you and Ghost are inside looking for more people.
Ghost catches one of the enemies, he instantly asks who they are looking for, hitting him while you're checking no one approaches you, this man doesn't say a word, ghost simply gives him a headshot.
Both run through the halls shooting at any enemy, sending some hostages out. You can see a soldier running to the emergency stairs with a woman.
«I have the Target, colonel! Call the helicopter! We're on the ceiling!» «All units! Extraction in 10!»
- Ghost! The ceiling!
You start shooting at this stranger who's dragging a woman by her arm, this woman doesn't look scared or worried, her expression is completely the opposite of afraid. You stop for a few seconds contemplating if the intervention of you and your team is actually a good decision, perhaps KorTac is doing a rescue mission, your internal debate ends when your lieutenant yells at you to continue.
You're finally in the ceiling, ghost is behind you both are receiving and shooting, the boys are at the ceiling from other building, supporting as snipers, you're running to the hostage while Ghost is fighting with some men, the helicopter lands in the middle of the disaster, you see König again, he's already wearing his black combat clothes, helmet and mask, he's inside the helicopter with some ropes, some men start to climb, you don't see someone approaching you behind, but only feel the pain on your thigh, the bullet is there burning your leg, it didn't hit any important or vital artery but somehow got stuck. «Bastard!» you yell, turning quickly and shooting on his head, you let your body fall on the ground «I'm hurt!». You look up at the helicopter, König is looking at you, he's worried, his eyes say everything, but it would be too risky to go down there to help you, he's also very distracted observing you when a bullet hits his shoulder.
Following the direction where the bullet came from, you see ghost with a sniper, pointing at him, without hesitation you stand up, your leg is burning in pain but you're more worried about König, he's covering his shoulder and helping another soldier to get inside the helicopter.
You have to do something quickly to distract ghost who apparently hasn't seen or heard you. You throw out a flash grenade close to him. It works, the light makes him fail the shot, the bullet passes just at the side of his head. The helicopter leaves and you quickly sit, repeating you're hurt, apparently nobody saw your little trick, you're biting a piece of cloth and the handgrip of your own knife while you're extracting the bullet from your leg with König's knife and your hand, Ghost runs to you still confounded for the grenade but instantly starts to help you with your wound.
Once at the base, you're with the medic attending your wound, Ghost is there keeping an eye on you, you're talking about how you receive that bullet when Soap appears with a phone on his ear, he says something to the person in the phone and then handles it to you.
- Y/N, your dad has been calling you like a thousand times.
Your dad? You and your father don't talk frequently, it's impossible but perhaps it is an emergency.
- Hey dad, what's up?
- How's your wound Meine Liebe?
That's not your father's voice. Your anxiety invades your body, soap and Ghost are looking at you, exchanging looks between them, you have to relax if you don't want them to ask what's going on.
- Oh...dad, listen It's not the right time, the medic is attending me.
He laughs.
- Meine injuries had been attended too, anyway. just tell daddy if you're okay.
- Well... (You don't know how much that word 'daddy' made you blush, you can bet he's enjoying it) it hurts. What about you?
- It's not bad, I've been worse. Danke (thanks) for saving me.
- No problem. well... As I said, I'm busy right now, can you call me later, dad?
- I'll do it if you send a little kiss to Daddy.
- Okay, then... Don't call me back.
- At least say 'goodbye daddy, love you'. Come on, say it, sei ein gutes Mädchen (be a good girl).
You roll your eyes but not because it's annoying, it's because you're feeling that sensation in your stomach, that warmth between your legs, you can't understand why he has all this power over you, you're not complaining, you like that.
- Fine. Goodbye, Love you daddy.
He laughs again and you hang up the phone, sighing loudly and with a huge silly smile on your face, Soap erases that smile as soon as he talks.
- Is that how you call to your dad? God, my girlfriend calls me Daddy... Now I won't get horny with that ever again.
- Ah... Ewww? Shut up, Soap.
He's talking about how strange it is for him to hear about your 'daddy' and you, while Ghost insists him to shut up, the medic is in silence but she wants to laugh, you're sure. Then your phone rings again, a text.
«Scheiße (fuck), I could get used to that nickname, call me like that and I'll fell under your trap, kleine Maus (little mouse)» K.
Once again you're smiling, he's funny, charming, he's so fine, so fuckin' attractive, he's intoxicating and it's hard to not fall for him.
88 notes · View notes
jokeroutsubs · 7 months ago
Text
Yugoslavia and yugo rock
Tumblr media
Joker Out’s new song, Šta bih ja, was inspired by yugorock! Not sure what that means? JokerOutSubs has got you!
‘Yugo rock’ or ‘Yu rock’ is rock with some elements derived from traditional/ethnic/folklore music, as well as other musical genres, including blues, country, reggae, jazz rock and rockabilly. They were added to appease the public, since rock itself was considered a western influence. 
Rock music in Yugoslavia became popular in the sixties. Before that, after the second world war, partisan songs were more popular. This is music associated with resistance groups that fought German occupation across Yugoslavia, Italy and other parts of Eastern Europe. However, in 1956, the Cominform (a coordinated body of communist parties across Europe, designed to keep all communist governments following Stalinist principles) was dissolved. After this point, the connection with the Soviet Union was severed and music tastes began to change accordingly. 
With influences from the west, rock music started gaining popularity. At first, musicians only sang covers of foreign songs (as closely to the original as possible) but in the sixties, bands such as Indexi started making original music. In the seventies, Bijelo dugme were formed and became incredibly popular. At the same time, Parni valjak were also rising to fame. However, the ‘new wave’ of Yugo rock was said to be started by a group called Buldožer.
Some characteristics of New Wave were more political lyrics and taking inspiration from punk. The most famous New Wave bands in Yugoslavia were Azra, Idoli, Prljavo kazalište, Električni orgazam, Psihomodo pop and, in Slovenia at the time, Lačni Franz, Buldožer and Pankrti (an interview with their singer Peter Lovšin can be found at    • [ENG SUB] Bojan Cvjetićanin about roc...  ). 
A second New Wave generation from Belgrade emerged in later years. Among their representatives were Partibrejkers (formed 1982). They combined the blues with British R and B, rockabilly and classic rock and roll. 
In 1982, the groups Ekaterina Velika and Disciplina Kičme (Disciplin A Kitschme) were established, contributing to the second New Wave generation, along with Slovenian group Videosex (formed 1983) with singer Anja Rupel. One of their most famous songs, a cover of 'Zemlja pleše,' can be found at    • Videosex - Zemlja Plese - The Original
The New Wave was characterised by a burst of creativity and activity in the music scene across the region, with many artists emerging and creating excellent music in a short period of time. Many have drawn parallels between the New Wave era and today, where in Slovenia many young bands are gaining recognition. This parallel is only strengthened by the fact that Joker Out, one of the most successful young bands in Slovenia today, have a song named Novi val (New Wave). 
The socio-political significance
Yugoslavia (1918–1992), a federal republic, was made up of six republics (Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia). Despite the differences between the republics one could argue that the pop-cultural identity was so strong, having influence that went beyond government control and the ability to connect people through the region, that it could be named as the seventh republic. Besides sport, yugorock was one of the last connecting links within a  country that was drifting apart in a variety of areas, including economic. 
Important yugorock bands 
Bijelo Dugme: Considered by many to be the biggest Yugo rock band, Bijelo Dugme were formed in 1974 in Sarajevo. They were the biggest trendsetters in rock music at the time. They had a huge influence on Joker Out since their earliest days as a band. In the 'Kofi brejk' interview Bojan shared that the first concert he ever attended was by Bijelo Dugme, and they were also mentioned several times by Joker Out as having had a big influence on the whole band. In addition, Joker Out covered two of their songs, ‘Selma’ (Radio Koper, 32 min) and ‘Djurdjevdan’ (Belgrade concert, 3.11.2023). You can check out some more of their songs on our playlist linked at the bottom of this post!
Plavi orkestar were formed in 1983 in Sarajevo and had a rich career with eight albums, releasing hits such as ‘Ako su to samo bile laži’, ‘Lovac i košuta’, ‘Odlazim’, ‘Bolje biti pijan nego star’, ‘Suada’ and many more. Some media outlets, like Jutarnji list and Mladina have compared Joker Out’s style to theirs, and Bojan also mentioned Plavi orkestar as one of the bands that influenced him.
Parni valjak are a Croatian band, formed in 1975 in Zagreb. They had many ‘evergreen’ hits, including ‘Sve još miriše na nju’, ‘Jesen u meni’ and ‘Zastave’. In the Carpe Diem series, when asked whom they would listen to forever if they could only choose one artist, Jure chose Parni valjak. At Arsenal Fest in 2023, Bojan interrupted an interview to sing along to ‘Jesen u meni’ as they were playing in the background! 
Indexi were a Bosnian band, who were active from 1962 to 2001. They were extremely influential, with hits like ‘Svijet u kome živim’ and ‘Negdje u kraju, u zatišju’, and became known as the ‘pioneers of psychedelic rock and roll.’ In the Kurir interview, Bojan mentions them as one of his musical role models.
Ekatarina velika, sometimes shortened to EKV, were a Serbian band who were active between 1982 and 1994. They are considered one of the most influential artists in the yugorock scene, with popular songs like ‘Krug’, ‘Par godina na nas’ and ‘Srce’. In the Rdeče in črno interview, Bojan’s voice was compared to that of the lead singer in Ekatarina velika. 
Idoli were one of the most remarkable new wave bands based in Belgrade, active during the early 80's. They are regarded as one of the most outstanding and influential representatives of the Yugoslav rock music and their album 'Odbrana i poslednji dani' ('Defense and The Last Days') was voted as the greatest Yugoslav rock album of all time. During the Kurir interview, Bojan mentioned that ‘Ona’ was inspired by Idoli and their unique sound.
Songs Joker Out have mentioned 
‘Računajte na nas’ by Đorđe Balašević is a very important yugorock song in Joker Out’s history, as it inspired the lyrics of ‘Carpe Diem’. While ‘Računajte na nas’ (‘Count on Us’) is about a generation standing up and fighting for peace, Bojan switched the lyric to ‘ne računajte na nas’ (don’t count on us), meaning that you cannot count on them to join in with the ‘game of hatred’ pervasive in modern society. 
‘Kreni prema meni’ is a song performed by Partibrejkers, a Serbian rock band from Belgrade, known for their rebellious energy, both in sound and spirit. The band is still active and well received all over former Yugoslav countries. The song was covered by Joker Out at the Lent festival in 2018.
‘Sanjao sam moju Ružicu’ by Leteći odred was covered by Apokalipsa, Bojan’s former band, in 2015 during Vičstock Avdicija. Bojan also sang it at the Prulček bar with Buržuzija, Kris and Jan’s former band. Leteći odred is a Croatian pop band with a prosperous and successful musical career and performances for over 30 years.
In September 2016, Joker Out posted a setlist from one of their earliest gigs on their Instagram. It included three notable yugorock song covers - ‘Frida’ by Psihomodopop, ‘Motori’ by Divlje jagode and ‘Ne Zovi Mama Doktora’ by Prljavo Kazalište.
If you’d like to listen to any of these artists or songs, check out our curated playlist on YouTube or Spotify!
Sources:
Kregar, Tone, et al. Za domovino - z rockom naprej! Jugo rock: slovensko-srbske paralele. Muzej novejše zgodovine Celje. 2020.
Perković, Ante, and Lah, Klemen. Sedma republika: pop kultura in razpad Jugoslavije. Zenit, 2018.
74 notes · View notes
marimayscarlett · 3 months ago
Text
'Rosenrot' turns 19 years old today 🎶💿
On the 28th of October, 2005, the fifth studio album 'Rosenrot' was released, about a year after 'Reise Reise'. The band worked with their usual producer Jacob Hellner in the El Cortijo Studio in Spain as well as in the Teldex Studio in Germany on this album, yet it has to be mentioned that the recording process for 'Rosenrot' was significantly shorter than usual and according to Till, the band felt kind of rushed. Seven songs were already recorded during the sessions for 'Reise Reise' and were left in their original form: Rosenrot, Wo bist du, Mann gegen Mann, Zerstören, Ein Lied, Feuer und Wasser and Hilf mir. New songs for this album developed out of already existing demos, and thus Benzin, Spring, Stirb nicht vor mir and Te quiero puta! were born and added to the list.
To the press, this album was announced under the title 'Reise Reise II'/'Reise Reise (Vol. 2)' in a posting on the official Rammstein website on the 24th of June 2005: Good news: Rammstein are already working on a musical successor, which is expected to be called "Reise, Reise ( Vol.2)". The management explained as follows: "After the production phase of the last album, there were many songs that had not found a place on 'Reise, Reise' at the time for dramaturgical reasons, but could now be finalised. It's nothing unusual . Just as 'Ohne Dich' came from the production time for the album 'Mutter', numerous songs have been waiting for more than a year to be perfected and are now to see the light of day. It's up to the band alone to decide which ones to release."
On the 17th of August 2005, the band decided on naming the album 'Rosenrot' instead and a day later, on the 18th of August, this was officially announced. The first song which was presented to the public was 'Benzin', which was performed by the band at a concert at the Wulheide, Berlin, on the 23rd of June, 2005.
Tumblr media
To present the full album to world of music journalism, the band held an event in Paris to showcase the album through a sightseeing tour. Journalists were given a discman with the album and headphones during a bus tour through the city, covering the route from Place de la Bastille to the Seine riverside, where they could board a ship and interview the band members about the album.
Here's an interview with Olli and Paul in Paris. Olli talks for example about how 'Rosenrot' is a calmer record than 'Reise Reise' and Paul mentions how much sex and sexuality plays a major role in their music and in music in general:
youtube
Eight days before the official release of the album, listening samples (about one minute each) of six songs from the album were released online as part of the promotion for the album. These listening samples were also released as a CD.
The album debuted at number 1 on the German album charts in its first week and stayed in the Top 100 for a total of 41 weeks. Over 200,000 copies were shipped, reaching platinum status in the first week. It also achieved platinum status in Switzerland and gold in Austria, the Czech Republic, Denmark, and Finland. 'Rosenrot' reached number 23 in the "Top 50 Albums" chart of 2005.
As a cover, the band reused the Japanese cover of the 'Reise Reise' album. It depicts the US wind-class icebreaker (USS Atka) during an expedition under the leadership of commander Buster E. Toon; the picture was taken on 13 March 1960 at McMurdo Station, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica, after it arrived there in a howling blizzard one day earlier. The print on the CD as well as on the DVD (with live perfomances of 'Reise Reise', 'Mein Teil' and 'Sonne') is designed to look like a hatchway of a ship.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The promotional pictures were taken by Mat Hennek. Flake had fallen ill with Mumps, which already prevented him from attending the Paris promotion, and as a result, he was also unable to participate in the photo shoot. He was replaced by his brother, which is why "Flake" (his brother) is always turning his face away from the camera or why it's hidden behind sunglasses or in the shadows.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Some more little facts about the album and quotes from promotional interviews:
Paul on the song 'Zerstören': We are basically holding up a mirror. The lyrics we written during the war in Iraq. We were interested in the parallels between a marauding pack of kids after a game of soccer who roam the street and destroy everything, and states which invade other states and destroy everything there. Our main thought was that there is no difference. We perceived it as boldness, that the Americans simply bomb a country and get away with it. At the moment George W. Bush is nothing else but another disgusting hooligan.
Olli on 'Mann gegen Mann': We don’t want to discriminate against gays. The song is more for gays. We simply wanted to take the weight off the topic and make it more natural.
as well as on the album name and cover: Actually, the album should be called 'Reise, Reise Vol. 2’. We quickly forgot about that title. Since we see the new album as an independent one, we needed a new title. That was a bit unfortunate, since the cover was already finished. So the ship on the cover picture is now called 'Rosenrot’ and everyone can think about what it stands for. Opposites? The cold world? Where has the love gone? No idea. But the ship does not symbolize the now and us as a band.
Till on the idea behind 'Benzin': One day, I actually watched a movie called Love Liza. It’s the story of a guy who loses his wife and his job and gradually becomes addicted to gasoline. He goes to gas stations and smells the pump. It’s a sort of tragicomedy. Many films have been made about addicts, but never about gasoline sniffers. I think that was the starting point for this song.
Olli on recording the album in Berlin: It’s the first time we’ve recorded in Berlin, at home, and I’m not sure, looking back, that it was a good idea. Our families living nearby, we might tend to look at our watches whenever we had a break : What am I doing ? Do I take the opportunity to drop by home ? As a result, we were necessarily less focused and it was almost impossible for us to be there 100%.
Schneider on 'Rosenrot' as the end of an era:  For me, this is the closing of a chapter for the band. Everybody needs a break, they need a bit of distance from this band and time to look forward and ask, ‘Where am I?’ And, ‘What do I want to do?’ We need to find other ways of being inspired.
additional sources: rammwiki, Rammstein history, affenknecht.com, navy.mil
43 notes · View notes
camisoledadparis · 1 month ago
Text
THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY
based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 14
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
c.530 – Venantius Fortunatus (d.circa 600/609) was a Latin poet and hymnodist in the Merovingian Court, and a Bishop of the early Catholic Church. He was never canonised but was venerated as Saint Venantius Fortunatus during the Middle Ages.
Born in Treviso, near Ravenna in Italy, he spent his time as court poet to the Merovingians. After visiting the tomb of St. Martin of Tours at St. Hilary at Poitiers, he decided to enter a monastery.
He continued to write poetry, some of which have a permanent place in Catholic hymnody, for instance the Easter season hymns "Vexilla Regis" and the "Pange Lingua" (Sing, O my tongue, of the battle). Three or four years before he died he was made bishop of Poitiers. Although never canonized, he was venerated as a saint in the medieval church, and his feast day is still recognized on 14th December each year.
Like Paulinus of Nola, St Venantius's poetry also includes some decidedly secular verse of the romantic sort. That this celebrates male love is clear from its inclusion in the Penguin Book of Homosexual Verse.
"Written on an Island off the Breton Coast" You at God's altar stand, His minister And Paris lies about you and the Seine: Around this Breton isle the Ocean swells, Deep water and one love between us twain. Wild is the wind, but still thy name is spoken; Rough is the sea: it sweeps not o'er they face. Still runs my lover for shelter to its dwelling, Hither, O heart, to thine abiding place. Swift as the waves beneath an east wind breaking Dark as beneath a winter sky the sea, So to my heart crowd memories awaking, So dark, O love, my spirit without thee.
Fortunatus died in the early 600s. He was called a saint after his death, but was never formally canonized.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1901 – King Paul of Greece (d.1964) reigned as king of Greece from 1947 to 1964. He may have been bi-sexual.
Paul was born in Athens, the third son of King Constantine I of Greece and his wife, Princess Sophia of Prussia. He was trained as a naval officer. On 9 January 1938, Paul married Frederika of Hanover at Athens. They had three children.
Before his marriage he is alleged to have invited the homosexual literary muse, Denham Fouts, on a cruise of the Aegean Sea, perhaps because they were lovers. However, Fouts's friend John B. L. Goodwin said Fouts often made up stories about his life, and literary critic Katherine Bucknell thought many of the tales about him were myth.
During most of World War II, when Greece was under German occupation, he was with the Greek government-in-exile in London and Cairo. From Cairo, he broadcast messages to the Greek people.
Paul returned to Greece in 1946. He succeeded to the throne in 1947, on the death of his childless elder brother, King George II.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
David Lewis (L) with Producer Irving Pichel
1903 – David Lewis (d.1987 ), born David Levy, was a Hollywood film producer who produced such films as Dark Victory (1939), Arch of Triumph (1948), and Raintree County (1957).
He was also the longtime companion of director James Whale from 1930 to 1952. Although they were separated at the time of Whale's death in 1957, Lewis later released the contents of Whale's suicide note.
Lewis was portrayed in the 1998 film Gods and Monsters by David Dukes.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1915 – The American actor and dancer Dan Dailey was born on this date (d.1978). Dailey was born and raised in New York City and appeared in vaudeville before his Broadway debut in 1937 in Babes in Arms. In 1940, he was signed by MGM to make movies and, although his past career had been in musicals, he was initially cast as a Nazi in The Mortal Storm. However, the people at MGM realized their mistake quickly and cast him in a series of musical films.
He served in the United States Army during World War II, was commissioned as an Army Officer after graduation from Signal OCS at Ft Monmouth, NJ, after which he served with distinction until the war ended. Then returned to more musicals. Beginning with Mother Wore Tights (1947) Dailey became the frequent and favorite co-star of movie legend Betty Grable. His performance in their film When My Baby Smiles at Me in 1948 garnered him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor. In 1950, he starred in A Ticket to Tomahawk, often noted as one of the first screen appearances of Marilyn Monroe, in a very small part as a dance-hall girl. In 1953, Dailey starred in Meet Me at the Fair. One of his notable roles was in There's No Business Like Show Business (1954) which featured Irving Berlin's music and also starred Ethel Merman, Marilyn Monroe, Donald O'Connor, and Johnnie Ray.
In 1950 the notorious "Confidential" Magazine (the National Enquirer of its day) printed a picture of him wearing female clothing. His studio, 20th Century Fox, rushed to repair the damage; gossip columnists were told that Dailey had simply been snapped on his way to a fancy dress party. But Andre Previn, the composer, tells in his biography No Minor Chords how Dailey turned up drunk and in female clothing for the press screening of It's Always Fair Weather in 1954. In the mid '70s, gossip columnist Joyce Haber was on television promoting a novel about Hollywood. Asked to dish some gossip, she mentioned that one of the top dancer-actors was a closet transvestite with a costly and beautiful wardrobe that many women would envy.
He had three failed marriages with women, but also was known to hang out in Gay bars. After the suicide of his only son, he was an embittered alcoholic. He died three years later, just after he playing boyfriend Clyde Tolson in (the unintentionally hilarious *and bad*) The Private Files of J.Edgar Hoover (1977). He appeared in over 60 films in his career.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1932 – George Furth (d.2008) was an American librettist, playwright, and actor.
Born in Chicago with the name of George Schweinfurth (he dropped the "schwein" on becoming an actor).
Furth made his Broadway debut as an actor in the 1961 play A Cook for Mr. General, followed by the musical Hot Spot two years later. He was also known for his collaborations with Stephen Sondheim: the highly successful Company, the ill-fated Merrily We Roll Along and the equally ill-fated drama, Getting Away with Murder. Furth penned the plays Twigs, The Supporting Cast and Precious Sons, and wrote the book for the Kander and Ebb musical, The Act.
Company has been revived many times over the years, sometimes updated to the Aids era, although requests from producers to give the show a homosexual slant were turned down by the unmarried Sondheim and Furth, although both of them were gay.
Frequently cast as a bespectacled, ineffectual milquetoast, Furth appeared in such films as The Best Man, Myra Breckinridge, Hooper, Blazing Saddles, Oh God!, Shampoo, The Cannonball Run, Young Doctors in Love, Doctor Detroit, Bulworth and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. His many television credits include Tammy, McHale's Navy, Ironside, I Dream of Jeannie, That Girl, Green Acres, The Monkees, Batman, The Odd Couple, Bonanza, Happy Days, All in the Family, Murphy Brown, L.A. Law, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, Murder, She Wrote, Little House on the Prairie, Love, American Style, Adam-12, F Troop and the made-for-TV film The Scarlett O'Hara War, in which he portrayed famed film director George Cukor. He was a regular in the cast of the short-lived 1976 situation comedy The Dumplings.
He adapted his play Twigs as a 1975 television production, starring Carol Burnett. He also worked as a voice actor in several episodes of the animated television series The Adventures of Don Coyote and Sancho Panda for Hanna-Barbera Productions.
One of Furth's last writing projects was a foray into an area where he had not previously endeavored. Furth penned the lyrics for a musical revue, with music by Doug Katsaros. Furth and Katsaros shaped the work with San Francisco director Mike Ward into "The End - a new musical revue". The piece was performed at San Francisco's New Conservatory Theatre Center during the summer of 2004 and was billed as a "Pre-U.S. Tour Workshop Production". The piece was reworked twice, with the title changing to Last Call and Happy Hour, respectively.
Furth died on August 11, 2008 at the age of 75. The exact cause of death is unknown, although he had been hospitalized for a lung disease at the time.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1955 – Hervé Guibert (d.1991) was a French writer and photographer. The author of numerous novels and autobiographical studies, he played a considerable role in changing French public attitudes to AIDS. He was a close friend and lover of Michel Foucault.
Guibert was born in Saint-Cloud, Hauts-de-Seine, to a middle-class family and spent his early years in Paris, moving to La Rochelle from 1970 to 1973. In his teens Hervé Guibert lied about his age to work at the magazine 20 ans eventually leading to a job with Le Monde. After working as a filmmaker and actor, he turned to photography and journalism. In 1978, he successfully applied for a job at France's prestigious evening paper Le Monde and published his second book, Les aventures singulières (published by Éditions de minuit). In 1984, Guibert shared a César Award for best screenplay with Patrice Chéreau for L'homme blessé. Guibert had met Chéreau in the 1970s during his theatrical years.
Guibert's writing style was inspired by the French writer Jean Genet. Three of his lovers occupied an important place in his life and work: Thierry Jouno, director of an institute for the blind whom he met in 1976, and which led to his novel Des aveugles; Michel Foucault, whom he met in 1977; and Vincent Marmousez, a teenager of fifteen who inspired his novel Fou de Vincent.
In January 1988 Guibert was diagnosed with AIDS. From then on, he worked at recording what was left of his life. In June the following year, he married Christine, the partner of the late Thierry Jouno, so that his royalty income would eventually pass to her and her two children. In 1990, Guibert publicly revealed his HIV status in his roman à clef "À l'ami qui ne m'a pas sauvé la vie" (published in English as To the Friend Who Did Not Save My Life). Guibert immediately found himself the focus of media attention, featured in newspapers and appearing on several television talk shows.
Two more books also detailing the progress of his illness followed: Le Protocole compassionnel (published in English as The Compassionate Protocol) and L'Homme au chapeau rouge (published in English as The Man In The Red Hat), which was released posthumously in January 1992, the same month French television screened La Pudeur ou l'impudeur, a home-made film by Guibert of his last year as he lost his battle against AIDS. Almost blind as a result of disease, he attempted to end his life just before his 36th birthday, and died two weeks later.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1960 – Bob Paris, American bodybuilder and Gay rights advocate, born; The former Mr. Universe, and International Federation of BodyBuilders professional bodybuilder, Bob Paris is a writer, public speaker and civil rights activist. He acknowledged his sexuality in the July 1989 issue of Ironman magazine and has graced the covers of scores of magazines worldwide. After Paris officially came out as a Gay man in the media, he and his then-partner, Rod Jackson, became involved in marriage equality advocacy, started successful non-profits, lectured on a wide variety of Gay civil rights issues, and made many television, radio, newspaper and magazine appearances. The two separated in 1995. Today, Paris lives with his spouse of eleven years, Brian, on an island near Vancouver, British Columbia. Bob and Brian were legally married after Canada equalized the marriage laws in 2003.
In addition to his writing career, Bob Paris remains a committed civil rights advocate as well as a motivational speaker, model and actor. In 1998, he made his New York stage debut, starring at Carnegie Hall opposite Bea Arthur, Sandy Duncan and Tyne Daly in the Broadway musical, Jubilee as the character Mowgli. He is one of the subject of photographer Herb Ritts' gorgeous book, Duo. His official website is: http://www.bobparis.com/
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1966 – James Earl Hardy, born in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, New York, is an American playwright, novelist, and journalist.
Generally considered the first to depict same-sex love stories that take place within the hip-hop community, his writing is largely characterized by its exploration of the African-American LGBTQ experience.
Hardy's best-known work is the B-Boy Blues series. The B-Boys Blues series comprises six novels and one short story. B-Boy Blues was adapted into a play in 2013 and into a film, directed and co-written by Jussie Smollett, in 2021.
Hardy attended undergraduate school at St. John's University and afterward went on to graduate from the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism in 1993. From 1992 to 1994, he wrote for Entertainment Weekly as a music journalist.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1968 – Yotam Ottolenghi is an Israeli-English chef, restaurateur, and food writer. He is the co-owner of six delis and restaurants in London, as well as the author of several bestselling cookbooks, including Ottolenghi (2008), Plenty (2010), Jerusalem (2012) and Ottolenghi Simple (2018).
Ottolenghi was conscripted into the Israeli Defense Forces in 1989, serving three years in IDF intelligence headquarters. He then studied at the Adi Lautman Interdisciplinary Program for Outstanding Students of Tel Aviv University, where in 1997, he completed a combined bachelor's and master's degree in comparative literature; his thesis being on the philosophy of the photographic image. While working on his thesis, Ottolenghi served as a night copy editor for Haaretz.
In 1997, Ottolenghi and his then-partner Noam Bar moved to Amsterdam, where he edited the Hebrew section of the Dutch-Jewish weekly NIW and considered getting his doctorate in comparative literature. Instead, he moved to London to study French cooking at Le Cordon Bleu.
Ottolenghi met his partner Karl Allen in 2000; they married in 2012 and live in Camden with their two sons, Max and Flynn. In 2013, Ottolenghi "came out as a gay father" in a Guardian essay that detailed the lengthy process of conceiving Max via gestational surrogacy, an option that he believes should be more widely available to those who cannot conceive naturally.
Ottolenghi served as a pastry chef at three London restaurants: the Michelin-starred Capital Restaurant, Kensington Place, and Launceston Place in Kensington New Town. In 1999, he became head pastry chef at the artisanal pastry shop Baker and Spice, where he met the Palestinian chef Sami Tamimi, who grew up in Jerusalem's Old City. Ottolenghi and Tamimi bonded over a shared language—Hebrew—and a joint "incomprehension of traditional English food".
His debut cookbook Ottolenghi was published in 2008 and has sold over 100,000 copies. Six volumes have followed: the all-vegetable cookbooks Plenty (2010) and Plenty More (2014); Jerusalem (2012); Nopi (2015); the dessert cookbook Sweet (2017); and Ottolenghi Simple (2018).
Ottolenghi's bestselling cookbooks have proven influential, with The New York Times noting that they are "widely knocked-off for their plain-spoken instructions, puffy covers, and photographs [that Ottolenghi] oversees himself, eschewing a food stylist". In 2014, the London Evening Standard remarked that Ottolenghi had "radically rewritten the way Londoners cook and eat", and Bon Appetit wrote that he had "made the world love vegetables".
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1988 – The movie version of Harvey Fierstein's play "Torch Song Trilogy" opened in New York.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1989 – Amini Fonua is a Tongan competitive swimmer.
Fonua was born and raised in Ponsonby, Auckland, New Zealand to Tongan lawyer Sione Fonua and British-born mother Julie. He holds dual Tongan and New Zealand citizenship. His family includes two other sisters.
Fonua's swimming career began at the Roskill Swimming Club based at Cameron Pool in Auckland, coached by Sandra Burrow from 1999–2007. He broke numerous Auckland and New Zealand Age Group Records under Burrow's tenure. He then moved to West Auckland Aquatics in 2007, and was coached by Donna Bouzaid. In the Fall of 2008, Fonua enrolled at Texas A&M on a swimming scholarship. While at Texas A&M he was a peer voted Team Captain, Big XII Conference Champion, NCAA All-American, and recipient of The Aggie Heart Award. He graduated with a Telecommunication and Multi-Media degree, with a Minor in Creative Writing in May 2013.
He was the first Tongan swimmer to win a gold medal in international competition, when he took gold in the 50 metre breaststroke at the 2010 Oceania Swimming Championships.
In preparation for the 2012 London Olympics Fonua was trained by New Zealander and designated head coach for Tonga, Jon Winter. He served as his nation's flag-bearer in the 2012 Summer Olympics Parade of Nations. As a swimmer at the 2012 Summer Olympics, he competed in the Men's 100 metre breaststroke, failing to reach the semifinals.
Fonua made an international comeback at the 2015 Pacific Games in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea. He created history by becoming the first ever Tongan athlete to ever win 3 Gold medals at a Pacific Games by sweeping the Breaststroke events, setting 2 Games Records in the process (50 m and 100 m Breaststroke). He is the only Tongan athlete in history to ever hold dual Oceania and Pacific Games titles.
Fonua is openly gay and an advocate for LGBT rights.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
1993 – In Denver Colorado, Judge Jeffrey Bayless ruled Amendment 2 unconstitutional. The amendment to the Colorado state constitution sought to eliminate all gay rights laws in the state and prevent any more from being passed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
21 notes · View notes
white-cat-of-doom · 6 months ago
Note
how many versions of cats were released on cd? I have the obc and olc versions so I was wondering if you knew what other versions there were, and if possible where to find them :D many thanks!
Hello Anon,
There are eighteen cast recordings:
Original London 1981 (both 2CD full recording and 1CD highlights)
Original Broadway 1982 (both 2CD full recording and 1CD highlights)
Vienna 1983 (1CD highlights)
Budapest 1984 (1CD highlights)*
Australia (Sydney) 1985 (2CD full recording)
Japan (Osaka) 1985 (2CD full recording)
Hamburg 1986 (2CD full recording)
Amsterdam 1987 (1CD highlights)
Paris 1989 (2CD full recording)
Japan (Nagoya) 1989 (2CD full recording)
Mexico 1991 (1CD highlights)
Warsaw 2004 (1CD highlights)*
Prague 2004 (1CD highlights)*
Dutch Tour 2006 (1CD highlights)
Italian Tour 2009 (1CD highlights)*
Japan (Tokyo) 2019 (2CD full recording)
2019 Movie (1CD highlights)
Vienna Revival 2021 (2CD full recording)
*Non-replica production, if that matters
In addition, there are a number of promo CDs that include a handful of tracks from the casts at the time of release:
Hamburg 1996 (3 track promo, assuming audio taken from 1986 cast recording)
Japan (Tokyo) 1996 (3 track promo)
CATS 1998 Elaine Paige (3 track promo; 'Memory' included, and two other non-CATS songs)
Japan (Osaka) 2001 (4 track promo)
Madrid 2003 (1 track 'Memory' promo)
Moscow 2005 (8 track promo?, two versions; both have 4 instrumental tracks)
Dutch Tour 2006 (3 track promo, audio from 2006 cast recording)
German Tent Tour 2011 (3 track promo)
Of everything listed above, the only ones I do not own are the Madrid 2003 'Memory' promo, Prague 2004 cast recording (a very rare CD that was scrapped before moving to production, only test/promo copies exist), and Moscow 2005 (another very rare promo release, only found with the press packages). Who knows if I can ever get my hands on them.
In terms of where to find them, the OLC, OBC, and Vienna 1983 are still being produced today and can be easily found new online, through Amazon or eBay (or better yet, in-person at your local music store!), and so is the Budapest 1984 CD as well (at least from what I can tell, it is always readily available brand new from Hungary). The 1989 and 2019 Japanese cast recordings are also still readily available brand new from Japan through the Shiki webstore. The 2019 movie highlights is also very easy to find, considering it just was released. The Vienna 2021 recording is still available from the label's website (at 45% right now!), but they only ship within Europe.
All the others can be found second-hand to varying degrees of ease online (i.e., eBay). The 1980s cast recordings are not too difficult, with Hamburg being fairly easily found, but as you start moving into lesser known (and shorter running) productions, it becomes more difficult to find them. Some are extremely uncommon, and I purchased the only copy I have even seen go for sale throughout the years, and I am still waiting for the chance to get the few I do not have.
Happy hunting to you, Anon!
33 notes · View notes
blackswaneuroparedux · 2 years ago
Text
What 'War and Peace' is to the novel and 'Hamlet' is to the theatre, Swan Lake' is to ballet - that is, the name which to many people stands for and sums up an art form.
Robert Gottlieb
It’s hard to believe that Swan Lake’s original premiere was seen as disastrous. When it first performed on 4 March 1877, at Moscow’s Bolshoi Theatre.
Tchaikovsky’s magical ballet tells the story of the doomed love of Prince Siegfried and Princess Odette. Prince Siegfried goes out hunting one night and chases a group of swans – one of them transforms into a young woman, Odette, who explains that she and her companions were turned into swans by the evil Baron Von Rothbart. The spell can only be broken if someone who has never loved before swears an oath of undying love and promises to marry her. The Prince declares his love to Odette and promises to be loyal forever.
At a grand reception at the palace, the Prince must choose a bride – but he can think only of Odette. Suddenly a fanfare announces the arrival of two guests - it is Odette! The prince dances with her and asks for her hand in marriage. But it’s not Odette - the mystery woman is the daughter of the evil von Rothbart, Odile. Odette has witnessed the whole scene. Too late, Siegfried realises his mistake.
Siegfried follows Odette to the lake and begs her forgiveness. She says she forgives him but nothing can change the fact he broke his vow. They decide to die together. The lovers throw themselves into the lake.
Tumblr media
There are a few different theories as to how Tchaikovsky came up with the idea for Swan Lake. Though the libretto is based on a story by the German author Johann Karl August Musäus The Stolen Veil, many of Tchaikovsky’s contemporaries claimed that he was deeply fascinated by the tragic life story of Bavarian King Ludwig II - sometimes called the Swan King - who died under mysterious circumstances by drowning himself in a lake.
It is likely that Tchaikovsky chose Ludwig II as the prototype of Prince Siegfried. It is easy to tell that the composer clearly enjoyed working on the music for Swan Lake, as he wrote far more material than would ever be required. As a result, the version most commonly performed today is, in fact, an edited one, created after Tchaikovsky’s death and significantly shorter than the original work. 
Tumblr media
Considering that Swan Lake is currently the most frequently performed ballet in the world, it's hard to imagine that it was a failure upon its premiere, with near unanimous criticism of different production aspects. Critics were universally disparaging, claiming the production was indistinctive and forgettable. They disliked the set and the choreography, thought the orchestra and dancers were subpar, and thought Tchaikovsky’s score was too complicated. The dancers who performed in the ballet’s premiere also declared Tchaikovsky’s music was too rich to accompany their balletic moves, and simply too difficult to dance to.
Because of these distractions, the actual brilliant score by Tchaikovsky got largely overlooked amidst the chaos.  Although a few critics did recognise the virtues of the masterful score, it was considered far too complex for ballet, too “noisy” and too “symphonic”, resembling the grand, weighty music of Richard Wagner. Even the initial ballet dancers deemed the music too difficult to dance to as its density clashed with the fluid and graceful balletic movements.
Tumblr media
One of the issues for the premiere performance was the absence of the Bolshoi’s prima ballerina, Anna Sobeshchanskaya. Sobeshchanskaya rejoined the production as Odette/Odile in April 1877 but insisted on making certain changes to the choreography and score. Two years later the original choreographer, Julius Reisinger, left Moscow and was replaced by Belgian choreographer Joseph Pater Hansen. Hansen set about re-staging Swan Lake, launching his new version in January 1880.  All 33 performances of the ballet between 1877-1883 sold out, attesting to the ballet’s increasing popularity amongst audiences.
A planned revival of the ballet in the early 1890s was cast into doubt by the death of Tchaikovsky in November 1893, who didn’t live to see the ultimate success of his ballet. Tchaikovsky had written far more material than was ever required, and after his death, Riccardo Drigo took on the job of revising Tchaikovsky’s score, with the approval of his brother Modest Tchaikovsky.
Tumblr media
The revised and edited version – commonly the version of the score used today - is considerably shorter than the original, full-length work. It premiered on 15 January 1895 by the Maryinsky Ballet at the Maryinsky Theatre to overwhelmingly positive reviews.
Call it what you like - Dance of the Four Swans, Dance of the Cygnets, The Four Little Swans - but for me the pas de quatre from Swan Lake is one of the most iconic dances in one of the most iconic classical ballets of all time. It is a coveted role for a ballerina, one that requires technical precision and teamwork. The light-hearted Dance of the Cygnets involves 16 pas de chat performed by four dancers moving sideways in exact unison with their arms interlaced. 
Tumblr media
I’ve always found its spirit of sheer innocence and beauty breath-taking to watch. I’m left with wonder restored and a distinct feeling of the flight of innocence coming back to rest in my hardened heart.
Video: Royal Ballet's Swan Lake (2018)
280 notes · View notes
foundtherightwords · 4 months ago
Text
As the Sun Will Rise - Chapter 10
Tumblr media
Pairing: Grunauer (Overlord) x OFC, Beauty & the Beast retelling
Summary: After losing most of his unit in a disastrous D-Day mission, Derwin Grunauer returns to his hometown near Miami, body riddled with scars and heart heavy with guilt, only to find his neighbors shunning him due to his German name. He retreats into his family mansion and remains there, unwilling to rejoin the living, until the day Alba Reyes turns up at his door with a basket full of warm bread. As the daughter of a Cuban immigrant, Alba knows something of being an outsider, and when she offers to work for Derwin as his housekeeper, it is not only to pay off her father's debt to the Grunauers, but also because she feels some connection to the reclusive young man. When that connection develops into something more, they must overcome both the town's prejudice and their own doubts to find happiness.
Chapter warnings: prejudice, PTSD
Chapter word count: 3.7k
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9
Chapter 10
The next morning, Derwin was in the kitchen making coffee when Otto jumped to his feet and scrambled to the back door with a happy bark. The door opened, then came Alba's voice, crooning, "Hola, Otto!" mixed with Otto's ecstatic whines. Derwin realized his hands were shaking and fought to keep a calm expression. Coffee spilled everywhere as he spooned it into the pot. Cursing under his breath, he reached for a towel to clean it up. What did he have to be so nervous about? She had been coming here almost every day for nearly three months; today should be no different.  
"I know, I know, I miss you too," she was saying to Otto, who was winding himself around her legs, making her stumble. Derwin rushed forward to help her up, only to realize, belatedly, that his cane was resting against the stove. He stumbled as well and crashed into Alba, knocking his forehead on her chin. Amid a rush of giggles and ouch and sorry and are you OK, Derwin's nervousness was forgotten, and by the time they had helped each other to their feet and started having their coffee, it felt like just another day.
They settled into a new routine. Alba still spent most of the morning outside, cleaning the debris of the storm from the garden. Derwin couldn't join her, but he would lug the gramophone to the sunroom or the porch, and sit there keeping her company through music. When she came inside to start lunch, he would join her in the kitchen. She taught him a few basic things like how to make rice and roast meat, along with some simple recipes that could be modified with whatever he had on hand. Derwin was pleased to discover he was a competent cook—it was a proud day when he managed to make his first pot of rice without it boiling over. Then, after they ate, he would help her wash up. In the afternoon, if there was nothing else to do, they would take the car down the drive and Derwin would practice changing gears and braking and turning. As Alba had predicted, he soon learned how to drive. But more than these accomplishments, he took great pleasure in spending time with her. Before, he'd been satisfied with staying in the study and knowing she was around; now, he realized he'd wasted all those days when he could've been with her in the kitchen or watched her work in the garden or sat next to her in the car, feeling her hand on his as she grabbed the wheel to stop him from driving into a ditch for sinking them into the swamp. He knew they were on borrowed time, and the more he allowed himself to be used to her presence, the loss would be that much harder once she left, but he couldn't help it. How could he return to his old world, cold and dark and lonely, once he'd had a taste of the sun?   
One afternoon, Alba brought in the mail as usual. One letter, with a Gainesville postmark and a University of Florida letterhead, made Derwin pause. He reluctantly opened it, read it, read it again, and eventually threw it down with a long sigh.  
"Bad news?" Alba asked, turning around from the shelf she was dusting.
"No, not news exactly. And not bad. More like... a dilemma. An offer." She raised an eyebrow, curious, so he picked up the letter and explained, "It's from my old professor at the University of Florida. He's putting together a project called"—he glanced at the letter—"Poetry without Frontiers."
"What is it?"
"He wants to translate poems from English into French, Spanish, German, Russian, Italian, and vice versa, and put them in a book. He hopes the universal language of poetry would bring people all over the world closer together after the—the war."
"And he's asking you to join the project?"
"Yes, he's asking me to pick a poem and translate it into German. Since I speak German. I imagine there's not a lot of us around." He meant it as a joke, but it came out rather bitter.
"That's great!" Alba said. "So why are you looking so glum? Glummer than usual, I mean."
He smiled at her teasing, briefly. "I don't know if I can."
"Why not? You always have your nose buried in those poetry books."
"Yes, but reading poetry is one thing. Translating it—essentially writing it in another language—is quite different."
She stopped dusting and sat down in front of him, fixing those enchanting green eyes on his. "If you don't try, how would you know?" He had no answer for that. She smiled. "And if I could translate that Jose Marti poem so beautifully, as you said, I think you can too."
When she was looking at him and smiling at him like that, Derwin felt like he could do anything. "Will you help me pick a poem then?" he asked.
Her smile widened. "Sure."
Derwin went to the shelf and brought down a few volumes. As he flipped through them, he watched Alba's lithe figure bustling about the study with the quiet efficiency he'd come to appreciate so much. Not for the first time, he wondered why someone like her would give him the time of day.
"You told me you don't plan to be a housekeeper forever," he said suddenly. "So what are you going to do after you're done here? Back to the bakery?"
"Well..." She paused in the middle of straightening a stack of books and thought for a second. "If I tell you, would you promise not to tell anyone?" she said, her cheeks turning slightly pink.
"Who would I tell, Otto?" he joked, but she was looking serious, so he sobered up as well. "All right, I promise. What is it?" He felt oddly happy that she was choosing to confide in him.
"I want to go to college," she said.
"Why is that a secret?" he asked, confused.
It took her a moment to answer. "Because my father doesn't want me to."
"Why not?"
"He wants me to take over the bakery. Actually, he wanted Raf to take over, but now that Raf is...  well, it falls to me instead. Never mind that Beatriz loves to bake and is much better at it than I am."
"Why don't you tell him that?"
"He wouldn't understand." She put the books down with a deep sigh. "See, during the war, I worked in a shipyard, building torpedoes to take down German U-boats. I was good, too. My supervisor even recommended me for an engineering program. But I couldn't go, because it was only available at some universities up north, and I couldn't leave Papi and Beatriz for ten months. Besides, designing airplanes and building torpedoes are fine and all, but I prefer to work with nature." She looked out the window and gazed at the swamps. "I want to see things grow and thrive. I want to see cypresses rise in the winter mist, I want to see herons and egrets wading amongst the mangrove, I want to see alligators sunning themselves on the river bank—yes, even the horrible one that attacked us," she added, grinning at him. With her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, she seemed lit up by some inner flame, looking more beautiful than Derwin had ever seen her. "And I want other people to see them too, see them for their beauty and splendor. Do you know they're setting up a national park in the Everglades? Imagine that! Miles and miles of untouched nature, protected and preserved by man, instead of being destroyed in the name of progress. I want to be a part of that." She glanced away, her flush deepening. "You think I'm having ideas above my station, do you?"
"No, not at all." He cleared his throat. "You know, the University of Miami has a biology program, and they just opened a marine lab too. You should enroll."
Her eyes widened. "Do you think I can?"
"If you don't try, how would you know?"
She tried to glare at him, but her lips quirked up. "All right, you got me," she admitted and went back to cleaning. "What about you?" she asked over her shoulder.
"What about me?"
"Do you plan to go back to college? Maybe finish that degree?"
The thought hadn't occurred to Derwin. Truth be told, he didn't see a point in it. His Army pension and the rent money he got from the bakery were just enough for him to live on, if he was thrifty, so why would he risk putting himself under more stress to get a degree and get a job? What kind of job could he do anyway? But what Alba said next made him change his mind. "Maybe we can go together," she said, a shy little smile hovering on her lips.
To go to college with her... to still be able to see her, even after she no longer worked for him.... It sounded too good to be true. Derwin reminded himself that, if or when Alba did go to college, she would meet new people, fun, exciting people, and she would probably no longer want anything to do with his gloomy self. But a part of him still hoped, and he said, "Maybe," smiling back at her. He was playing with fire, he knew, but the fire was too warm and comfortable for him to keep away.
***
After some consideration, and with input from Alba, Derwin chose Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" to translate. Professor Bauer gave his approval, and Derwin started working on it, laboring over every line with a care that bordered on obsession. He would read his translation aloud to Alba, and asked her whether the words flowed well together. Even though she didn't know German, she had an excellent ear for rhythm and music, which was why he trusted her opinion.   
For all the fun they had driving, cooking, and reading poetry together, Derwin couldn't help dreading their first excursion into town. About a week after she came back, Alba said over lunch, "I'm planning to go grocery shopping tomorrow, do you think you're ready to tag along?"
Despite her casual tone, Derwin's hand froze over his plate. Seeing his hesitation, she said, "If you're not feeling up to it—"
"No, I'm fine," he said quickly. "Where are we going?"
"Olson's. It's right across the street from the bakery," Alba replied. "They have fresh produce and the price is reasonable."
"And what are we going to do there?"
Alba looked amused, but she answered anyway, "Shopping, of course. Pick what you want, put it in a cart, and pay. Maybe chat with the cashier for a bit."
"And what makes you think I can't do that on my own?" he asked, stalling for time.
She gave him an exasperated look. "If you could, you wouldn't be paying Wendell's for their delivery service," she said. "Look, you don't have to go with me if you don't want to."
"I said I'm fine, didn't I?" After all that had happened, the last thing he wanted was for her to see him as helpless and useless.
Still, he spent the rest of the day writing up a grocery list and trying to practice potential conversations in his mind. He felt slightly ridiculous—a mundane activity like grocery shopping shouldn't make him this anxious—and was reminded of his first year in boarding school, when he'd had a single line in the school play, spent a whole week rehearsing, and still flubbed it on the night. He hoped nothing like that would happen this time. At least Alba would be there, and he could count on her to keep him calm.
Alba arrived early the next morning, and they drove into town. It was mid-morning on a weekday, so the store was relatively quiet—he was grateful to her for that as well. Derwin was aware of curious stares from the few cashiers and shoppers as he walked through the store, leaning on his cane with one hand and pushing the shopping cart with the other. But Alba was walking next to him, and occasionally their hands, placed side by side on the handle of the cart, would brush against each other, and the pounding of his heart would slow and he could breathe more easily.
"Good morning, Mrs. McLeish!" Alba waved to a gray-haired battle-axe, who nodded back at her and shot Derwin a suspicious glance. "Is Ted busy this week?" Alba asked. She turned to Derwin and explained, "Mrs. McLeish's son is a builder."
"He's just finished up a job in Coral Way," Mrs. McLeish replied, looking proud. "They need a lot of repair over there after the storm."
"If he has a minute, do you think he can come to the Grunauer house and have a look at the roof? It got hit by a big branch."
The moment Mrs. McLeish heard the name "Grunauer", her hard-looking face hardened even more, her eyes becoming two pieces of flint. She looked Derwin up and down before answering. "I just remember, Ted's booked another job over in Sweetwater," she said coldly. "He won't be able to help you."
Alba frowned. "But I thought you said—"
Mrs. McLeish didn't let her finish. "And even if he was free, he wouldn't take a job there," she said. "My Ted didn't take a bullet in his leg in Sicily only to come back here and serve some coward who hid under his medic insignia!" Her words lashed at Derwin like a splash of acid, scouring away his skin and getting under his flesh, making his whole body burn with a shame that felt almost physical. The old woman obviously took malicious pleasure in it.
Alba lifted her chin, her eyes turning almost as hard as Mrs. McLeish. "I'm sorry he felt that way," she said to the old woman. "But I think medics are just as brave as soldiers, if not more, because they have to save others and not just themselves. If you can't agree, then I think you'd better get your baked goods elsewhere. Good day."
Without another glance at Mrs. McLeish, who had gone pale with anger, Alba walked off with the cart. Derwin scrambled to follow her.
"You've just cost your bakery a regular customer," he said. "You didn't have to do that."
"I know I didn't," Alba said. Her nostrils were still flaring, and she gripped the cart handle tightly. "I just can't stand it when people—" She took a deep breath. "Never mind. Let's just shop."
They got the essentials—milk, coffee, eggs, soap—while Alba kept up a stream of chatter, about the best brand of detergent, how the store-bought coffee could not compare to the home-ground coffee her father sometimes got from Cuba, how happy she was that sugar rationing had finally ended. Slowly, the sting of Mrs. McLeish's words faded.
As they reached the meat counter at the back of the store, Alba turned to Derwin and pushed the shopping list into his hand. "Why don't you get some ham and some mince from Mr. Olson, and I'll meet you out front? Oh and maybe a nice roast for your weekend lunches too." He spluttered a protest, but she'd already pushed the cart toward the fresh produce display, after giving him an encouraging smile.
Bracing himself, Derwin turned toward the meat counter. The store owner, Mr. Olson, a barrel-chested, ruddy-cheeked man, stood behind the counter looking at him with pale, impassive eyes. Derwin gave his order in a tiny voice. Mr. Olson picked up a giant ham and started slicing it in quick, practiced movements.
"You're the Grunauer boy, aren't you?" Mr. Olson said.
"Yes."
"Your dad used to come in here all the time." Derwin grimaced, waiting for the inevitable, but Mr. Olson only said, "Sorry for your loss."
Derwin couldn't think of anything to say, so he said, "Thank you."
"Haven't seen you though."
"I don't get out... much."
Like Mrs. McLeish, Mr. Olson ran his eyes from the scar on Derwin's cheek to the cane in his hand. The only difference was that Mr. Olson's harsh features then softened. "Where were you wounded?" he asked.
A tremor started in Derwin's leg and spread until it turned into a pounding of his heart. He'd practiced this conversation in his mind, he could answer the question. Yet why had his throat suddenly gone dry? "Normandy," he said in a whisper, barely audible above the hammering of his pulse in his ears. Perhaps if he said it quietly and quickly enough, Mr. Olson would move on.
No such luck. "Damn," Mr. Olson said gravely, shaking his head. "I didn't even know that any boy in the neighborhood was there. My nephew, he was in the Pacific at the time, same as the Reyes boy. It was bad though, wasn't it?"
In line! In line!
Sarge, there's nowhere to jump!
"Do you still talk to anybody from your unit?" Mr. Olson continued, not noticing that Derwin hadn't answered him. He wrapped up the ham and the mince. There were smears and splotches of blood on his white apron. It made Derwin feel slightly sick to look at them, but he couldn't turn away.
Grunauer, please...
He really was going to be sick now. His chest felt tight. His breath came out in short, shallow gulps. His hands were cold, palms sticky with sweat. Mr. Olson stood with the packages of meat and the blood on his apron, watching him curiously. Without another word, Derwin turned and limped past the shelves and cases of goods, past the astonished shoppers and cashiers. Mr. Olson was calling after him but he didn't stop, didn't even pay attention to the twinge in his leg until he was out in the sun and the fresh air—
No, not fresh air. The smell of exhaust fume hit him, slamming him back into the burning plane, and this time, there was no Ford pushing him out the door. He stumbled blindly, wildly, trying to get away, anywhere but there—
There was a screech of brakes, and Derwin found himself jerked violently backward. Someone was shouting—shouting at him?—while another person was apologizing. Then the scent of frangipani and vanilla replaced the exhaust fume, and the fog around him cleared and he heard Alba saying frantically, "Derwin? Are you OK?"
He had almost walked into traffic. She'd pulled him to safety just in time.
Alba led him to a bench outside of Olson's and helped him sit down. "What happened back there?" she asked. She hadn't let go of his hand, as if she was afraid he was going to bolt again. Derwin held fast to her hand, grounding himself by her sight, her scent, her presence.
"Nothing," he managed to say, as his breathing got back to normal. "Mr. Olson asked me about the war and it—brought back some bad memories, that's all."
"I'm sorry," Alba said. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you on your own."
He shook his head. "It wasn't your fault."
"You want to go home?"
The thought of being in the car, with its smell of fuel and confined space, made his heart race again. "I think I'll walk," he said.
"You almost killed yourself last time walking into town."
"I'll go slowly."
She watched him for a moment, then she said, "How about this? I drive home, get my bike, and give you a ride back on the bike. Can you do that? Can you wait for me here for half an hour?"
"I don't want to be a bother—"
"It's no bother. Here." She stood up and pressed something into his hand. It was her handkerchief, a simple cotton one embroidered with an A at the corner. "To wipe your face," she explained. "You can wait in the bakery, it's cooler there."
He felt like he never wanted to go into an enclosed space ever again. "No, I'll be fine here."
Alba nodded at him. "I'll be right back." She loaded their shopping into the car and drove off, while Derwin remained on the bench, clutching her handkerchief like a lifeline.
The half hour crawled by. Derwin focused on his breathing and let his eyes wander up and down the street, watching nothing in particular, trying to keep his mind blank. He got some more stares from the lunch crowd, but thankfully nobody approached him. Eventually, Alba's familiar figure rolled up on her bicycle, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Your chariot awaits, good sir," she said with a grin, patting the luggage rack on the back. Derwin climbed on, a little awkwardly, because of his leg and the cumbersome cane, and also because he had to hold on to Alba's waist to keep his seat. There was a bit of a wobble when Alba got on, but she soon adjusted to his weight and the bike rolled smoothly down the lane, toward the shelter of the swamp.
"This is just like when I was a kid, taking Beatriz to the soda fountain," Alba said, laughing softly. Sitting behind her, Derwin had to fight the urge to rest his head on her back. "Listen, Derwin, I know you said it's not my fault," she continued, oblivious to his torment, "but I think I may have pushed you too much too soon. You don't have to go with me into town if you don't want to. Just take your time and wait until you're ready."
At that moment, sitting so close to her, feeling the calm and quiet radiating from her, he felt invincible. And along with it came a sudden, intense desire to get better, to break free of this prison he'd built around himself. He would do it, not just for himself, but for her as well.
"No," he said decisively. "If I wait, I'll never be ready. I can try again."
Chapter 11
Tumblr media
Here is "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost, in case anyone is interested.
Taglist: @kitkat80
19 notes · View notes