#also gayle telling linda that she's her sister and she loves her. and that she is happy when good things happy to linda bcuz they're sisters

[br1ghtestlight]

Even when Gayle is at her worst at least she tries to be a good aunt to Linda’s kids unlike Al and Gloria who barely interacts with them.

my true opinion is that gayle actually loves being an aunt and her nieces and nephew are like some of her favorite people ever. Now she's not GOOD at being an aunt but nobody can argue she doesn't love the hell out of those kids!!!

i genuinely believe she likes them and enjoys spending time with them and she'll try to find a (reasonably-priced) gift for their birthdays and christmas that's related to their interests even if it's like a horse keychain or something. when she brought them gifts when she was visiting she got gene a gumball from the store!!! bcuz she knows he loves candy!!!! That's aunt behaviour right there

tina is probably her favorite just because tina is a lot more willing to go along w/ her bullshit and bcuz they both have the same anxious tendancies but she loves all three of them <3

this is my personal favorite gayle moment. it feels like such a natural look into their lives and relationship to each other even when gayle isn't the actual Focus of the episode she still calls and talks to them. "hey aunt-g what's up :)"

[mvk--ar]

I have (3) out of the water Bob’s Burgers theories. Enjoy :)

This is REALLY long, but my current theories are:

(please don’t get overly defensive abt my theories, I’m just havin fun 😂😂)

1. Colleen Caviello is the Pesto kids’ mom. (I’ve shared my thoughts on a few posts so I’ll save you the trip) Basically though, PTA mom of an unknown kid at Wagstaff. The Pesto kids are some of the only kids who we know have a mom, but we don’t know which. Colleen could easily be another kids’ mom, but knowing Colleen & Linda’s rivalry would make it a little bit more believable. For example, Joanne is on PTA so she has an unnamed kid too. But Linda didn’t really know Joanne when they hung out. If Joanne were the Pesto’s mom, I doubt Linda would’ve acted the way she did with her. Caviello is an italian sounding last name which would make Jimmy Pesto’s italian-loving fetish a reality, and she seems about of a shady culinary artist as Pesto. (“that sauce was store bought and you know it!!!” — also, sabotaging Linda with Banana Bread 😂) I mean, two peas in a pod, right??

2. Linda’s gal pal Ginger isn’t real, but rather her imaginary friend 😳

Although we see Linda talking to Ginger a few times, we’ve never actually physically seen Ginger or heard her talk. (There is some speculation that she appears as a side character in some frames, such as the Pirates of Panache dinner theater.) However, I think it’s possible the animators just coincidentally gave those characters red hair. A lot of characters have similar looks, because I assume it’d be incredibly different to make entirely unique characters for every character that passes by. Anyways, we never actually see Ginger (she does appear when the Belcher’s are creating stories of what would’ve happened if Bob never had a mustache, but technically she didn’t get literal screen time. They’re just sharing stories! Also, if you compare Angie from the essential oils episode and Ginger from the flashback, they look surprisingly similar 👀 Even the scrunchie is the same color! I’m not saying Linda was just having a random chat with someone in the bar, but Linda is so outgoing I could see her doing so! In addition, Linda does preface the flashback by saying “it was a quiet night with my girlfriend Ginger” but not once does Linda introduce Ginger to Bob. And Bob doesn’t ever acknowledge Ginger. I know it’s first impression between Bob/Linda, but I feel like SOMEWHERE in that timeline Bob would have at least been like “I’ll let you get back to your friend.”) Also, on her birthday she gives Ginger a really long message, when Ginger tells Linda about her cat dying, and in the sleepover episode Linda talks about the raccoons, but we don’t actually hear Ginger talk. Ginger is also noted as Linda’s lifelong BFF that she has known longer than she has known Bob. I don’t think I’ve ever hear Gayle bring up Ginger & we have seen some of Linda’s friends from when she was younger, such as Stacy Micelli & Monica. If Linda has been friends with Ginger for this long, why hasn’t Gayle brought up Ginger at all? Knowing how Gayle is, I feel like she would have at least tried to be friends with Ginger. (She’s always wanted was Linda had) I know this one is a STRETCH, but Linda is a kooky crazy bat sometimes. Plus, she is Gayle’s sister. With how close they are, it wouldn’t be too surprising if they both had an element of crazy. And, I know Bob and the family are goofballs as well. I could see them supporting Linda entirely. In addition with Gene, who is 11 and a little old for imaginary friends, with his super close relationship with Linda, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where he gets it from 🙊 Supposedly we meet Ken, gene’s albingo friend (who I think is like 32??) But it seems more plausible that he’s imaginary.

3. Okay, so now that’s outta the way. Disproving my first and second theory, a lot of people have speculated that Ginger could be the Pesto kids’ mom. We all kind of just assume Ginger has ginger-red hair, right? I mean again, we’ve never actually seen her so who knows what color her hair is. But that could explain the recessive gene for Jimmy Jr’s red hair. Blonde haired genes are more common than red haired genes, and that small percentage would be all it takes to over shadow the gene expression for red hair and produce blonde kids. But if both parents have the recessive gene for red hair, it could explain why one kid is a red head and the twins are blonde. Additionally, what if the Pesto kids aren’t Jimmy Pesto’s kids??? In the family fracas episode, Jimmy calls Trev the “son I’ve always wanted.” I know he’s not as close with his kids as the Belchers are, but even that’s a little cruel. So, if Jimmy isn’t the kids’ dad, who would be? Well we know from way back in season 2 Ginger is married to (or having sexual relations with) her pill-poppin’ sex freak of a partner, Tony. Tying into that, when Bob goes to get multiple Turkeys later in season 4 because he keeps throwing them in the toilet, the Butcher goes “Things haven’t been going great with Tony for a long time” & “I’m so sick of tony and his dancing!!” 2 seasons I think is enough chronological time to have Tony leave Ginger for the Butcher, and offer some commitment issues to the Butcher. What if the Butcher’s Tony is also Ginger’s Tony? And what if Ginger & Tony are the real Pesto kids’ parents? It’d explain why Jimmy loves dancing so much. It’s in his genes!! We see Jimmy Pesto gets mad at Jimmy Jr. a lot for dancing. I feel like a normal parent wouldn’t really find that much of an issue with it, but who knows 🙆🏻‍♀️ (Also, Jimmy Pesto calls Jimmy Jr. “Pepper” in one episode, and idk what that’s all about lol. I read that it’s a possible reference to something else, but I forget what.) Then in the musoems episode, Jimmy Jr. sings “my mom’s new friend Allen, he’s okayyyy!” What if Ginger left Tony because Tony went with the Butcher (or Tony left Ginger for the Butcher), so now Ginger is with Allen??? The biggest flaw for that theory is why would Jimmy Pesto then have custody of the kids 😂😂 (Maybe Jimmy Pesto is their uncle or something 😱😱 I’m just kidding lolol) And in the Rent Strike episode, Jimmy says “did we really have to bring our kids???” Although some kids are named after different family members, Jimmy Jr. being named after Jimmy Pesto is probably the most likely. So there’s really no disproving he’s the father, but I’m not completely dismissing the idea that the kids aren’t Poplopoviches ;) If they are Poplopoviches though, it kinda confuses me as to why they’d all change their name to Pesto. But a background story on that could easily explain why lol

Also, J-ju doesn’t call Pesto “dad” a whole lot (probably cos we don’t see them that much, but i’ve only heard him say “dad” like three times) and although the twins say “Daddy! You came for us!!” in the Taffy factory episode, and Pesto says “I thought you were with your mom? I just came to see the demolition. Er—Come and rescue you guys [something like that] I’m a great father!” If Pesto was a close family member or like an uncle, it’d be reasonable for the kids to call him Dad as they see him like a father figure. The twins are young enough they’re easily impressionable so I could see them genuinely calling Pesto “dad” even if he wasn’t. Especially if their real dad isn’t in the picture & genuinely felt like Jimmy Pesto was their dad.

Additionally, in the slumber party episode, Linda says Ginger has to take her daughter to a slumber party. People have mentioned that we probably would have known by now if the Pesto kids did have a sister. But if Ginger’s daughter is the same age as the twins & Louise or even younger, it’s possible the Pesto kids didn’t get to hangout with their sister very much. It’s also possible that Ginger’s daughter would be the Pesto kids’ half sister which would explain why the kids don’t ever talk about her.

Again, I’m way overanalyzing the show and all my theories are CRAZY unrealistic, but it’s fun to imagine!

I dunno. I know all three of these theories are way far fetched and HIGHLY unlikely, and I doubt the writers would have made a storyline this intricate, but it’s kinda fun putting a twist on the show!!

What are some of your wild theories ??

[imogengraham]

3 Mar 2020 Bob’s Burgers

The American animated sitcom Bob’s Burgers is a television series created by Loren Bouchard for the Fox Broadcasting Company. It is a digital 2D animation created by Benzo Beans Studio. It debuted in 2011 and there are 10 series.

The series features the Belcher family, consisting of Bob and Linda and their three children Tina, Gene and Louise. Bob is a third-generation restaurateur and him and has family own and run a burger restaurant. All the characters are genuine and relatable, which I believe makes Bob’s Burgers all the funnier and loveable. 

Character Analysis 

Bob Belcher 

Bob Belcher is the protagonist of Bob’s Burgers. He is the owner of the restaurant Bob’s Burgers and is the husband of Linda and father to Tina, Gene and Louise. Bob is 6”1, 47 years old and has black hair. Bob is a cynical man, which contrasts his very happy-go-lucky wife. He has a dry humour and is a big fan of puns, making each ‘burger of the day’ a different pun - “The Human Polenta-pede Burger” “Texas Chainsaw Massa-curd Burger (comes with cheese curds)” “Fifth Day of Christmas Burger (comes with five golden rings of onion)”.  

Linda Belcher 

Linda Belcher is a very optimistic and enthusiastic woman. She is 45 years old, wears glasses, and has a sister, Gayle. She is happy, loving and caring for her family and friends. She loves to sing and entertain, and tries to host dinner theatre and running a bed and breakfast. As another protagonist of the story, she often counters Bob’s emotion and tries to lift him. She’s mostly very fun, but can occasionally snap, however her kind, peaceful nature makes this a rather comical ordeal - "Tammy can go sit in syrup. Let the bees get her.” "What a butterface.” Linda is also fond of booze - "I was gonna punch you, but I’m holding wine.” "I’ve only had half of four bottles of wine.” “I love showers and mornings and bologna and turtles and wine!”  

Tina Belcher 

Tina is the oldest of the children, being 13 years old. She is insecure, socially awkward, and battling the joys of puberty; which has her fantasising over boys, writing her own erotic fiction, and a keen liking for butts - "I'm going to write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friendfiction ever.". She’s also obsessed with horses and has a horse-themed bedroom. She has black hair and glasses. Tina is another protagonist of the series, and often contradicts her own personality. She can be very awkward - causing her to release a loud, monotone groan – or she can be very confident in herself - “I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.” "Dad, if you believe you're beautiful, you will be. I did." Her siblings can often take advantage of Tina’s sweet, awkward nature and often take the mick out of her or override her authority –  Louise: “She’s autistic she can’t help it.”    Tina:     “Yeah I’m autistic”.  Bob:     “No you’re not autistic, Tina” 

Gene Belcher 

Gene, the fourth protagonist, is the second child and only boy. He is 11 years old and has black hair. He is a lot like his mum: care-free, friendly, and loves to entertain! He has a passion for music and is often carrying around a small keyboard. Gene is quite the joker, constantly telling jokes, pulling pranks, or making fart noises. He has little filter and will say what is on his mind. He’s very confident and will always speak up -      Gene: I’m a top.   Bob: You mean you’re on top.   Gene: No, I’m a top. 

Louise Belcher 

Louise, the last protagonist, is the youngest sibling at 9 years old. She has a mischievous and cynical personality and is often getting herself into sticky situation. She looks up to her father and has traditions with him that she cherishes. She believes she is an evil mastermind, and although she is very bright, she is still just a child and can get herself into trouble with older kids. She has a signature look – pink bunny ears - which she always wears and has no intention of taking off. She often does things that could harm the restaurant, like telling her classmates the restaurant serves human flesh, and creating an inappropriate burger of the day - “Hello and welcome to Bob’s Burgers. The burger of the day is the child molester. It comes with candy.” 

Other Major Characters 

There are a few more character in Bob’s Burgers who are integral to the story. The first being Teddy, a handyman and regular customer who believes he is best friends with Bob. The next is Mort, another regular customer who owns the neighbouring funeral home. Then there is Bob’s rival, Jimmy, who owns the restaurant Jimmy Pesto’s opposite Bob’s Burgers. They are constantly battling to have the more successful establishment. Linda’s sister, Gayle, often appears and is a hopeless romantic crazy cat lady. Another major character is Mr Frond, the children’s guidance counsellor at their school. There are then the childrens’ school friends Jimmy Jr, Zeke, Tammy, Andy and Ollie, Rudy, Alex and Jocelyn. Jimmy Jr, Andy, and Ollie are Jimmy’s children and Jimmy Jr is the boy Tina has a massive crush on. 

[a-pretty-nerd]

Summer Fling (Freddie Klein x reader smut)

A/N: Here's the deal, no I'm not back just yet. Update: I just got a new job! Which I'll be working as much as possible but during my winter break I will be back to finished some bowers requests! This fic however, is a Devon Bostick character from the 2014 movie Small Time which takes place in the 90s.

Go check out @trickkombowerskru 's fic! I requested this plot and she did a great job, I just had the urge to make a detailed oriented adaptation. She did an amazing job, and I just wanna develop it a lil' more because I love her!

For those of you who like Devon, but haven't seen this movie, thats cool! Heres all you need to know!

Freddie Klein is the awkward college student:

The son of Al Klein, a car salesmen. In the summer between high school and college, Freddie decides he would like to become a car salesmen like his father. Al hates this idea because he and his coworker Martini (Ash), have had to work YEARS to get where they are and even now its small business car lot where they make good, not amazing.

BASICALLY

Freddie works over the summer, gets good but he's surrounded by "the guys" a group of sleazy salesmen Martini and Al are friends with and Freddie starts to become a lil' shit as a result. And poor Al, has to tell Freddie that he's fired and he should go to college like his mom (Barbara) and stepfather he hates (Chick), want him to. Freddie's upset but does so and eventually his father and him make up. Its a very touching story. (@trickkombowerskru thinks its okay. I love this movie.)

Also, Gayle is the office receptionist thats irish and an airhead. And Barlow is the lot's jazzy, barly english speaking cars repairman. Linda, is Al's new girlfriend thats there for him throughout the whole mess. Its very touching.

Now that you know all that! This fic is going to start where the movie leaves off. Where Freddie is now in college but visits often and is trying to help his dad extend the buisness.

So here we go! ✌❤

P.S. Thank you for being patient with me, and letting me do what I want. Ya'll mean so much to me and I hope @trickkombowerskru and I can stick around 💕

Warnings: NSFW, cursing, mild sexism? That shit gets corrected don't worry.

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See, you're Martini's niece. The daughter of his sister, and being his one and only niece, you're fairly close with your jokster of an uncle. You attend a local community college because, not everyone can afford the University. And after a slue of food service and retail jobs, you're on the hunt for another summer job to get you through until the next semester. How convenient! Martini, and his close friend and co-worker, Al, are looking for a new receptionist since their current has just been promoted to sales associate.

Uncle Martini assures you its an easy job, just processing paper work and filing. You're thankful for the 9 to 5 work, which is drastically better than the minimum wage scraps you were making before.

So you're sitting there at your desk which sits right out front in the office. You're alone at the moment, filing paperwork, starring down at the numbers and letters on the paper. Your eyelids droop and you take a deep breath and let it out in a huff. If only this job wasn't so boring.

"You're not Gayle!" A nasaly voice announces from above. Your tired eyes shoot up, your heart leaps out if your chest, and your hands begin to shake. You were startled.

Standing there is a young man roughly your age, if not a little bit older. He's nerdy, in a button up and khaki pants, he's incredibly out of place. You stare at his face for a moment, and if it wasn't bad that he startled you, he's attractive. He stares back at you, confused.

"What?" You eventually ask.

"Where's Gayle?" He asked you, almost offended by your presence.

"She’s in the back- can, can I help you with something?" You ask him, still just as confused as he is.

"I'm looking for my dad."

"Your dad?"

"Oh hey! Freddie," Al walks through the door with a coffee in hand and smelling of the local deli, "I see you've met Y/N."

"Oh! Oh YOU'RE Freddie!" Suddenly the connection goes through. You've heard stories of Freddie from Al, who couldn't be a more proud father. You stand up from the desk, thankful for the exscuse to stand. You throw a hand out and shake his awkwardly. He watches you, brows still furrowed.

"You're working the front desk now?" He asks you.

"Yeah. Been here for a few weeks. Hey Al, wheres Uncle Ash?" You ask in passing.

"He caught a sale, should be in in just a moment." He spoke as he walked around mindlessly as he sifted through paperwork and coffee. Freddie stood there awkwardly as you sat down and tried to go back to work. You didn't know Freddie was as cute as he wass. The only picture Al ever showed you was the one on his desk from when he was a kid. He resolved to pour himself a cup of coffee which sat out for customers along side a plate of untouched cookies. Gayle made then herself.

"So uh, you're Martini's niece?" Freddie asked in an attempt to make conversation.

"Yeah." You nodded, flashing a look at him. He made you nervous.

"How come we've never met befor?" He asked, lifting a brow. Clearly a little more comfortable with you than before. You shook your head and shrugged.

"Don't know." You resolved. The door flew open with a smiling Martini who swayed from side to side with triumph. He tossed a few papers on your desk, which slid, messing with the pile of papers currently on your desk. You sighed.

"Which one?" Al asks from behind his desk.

"Chevy," Martini says as he sits at his own desk, "oh! Freddie!" He cries and gives the young man a rather rough hug. "Didn't know you'd be back so soon. Oh, this Y/N by the way."

"We've met." You announce with a tight lipped smile.

"Good...good.." he nods off to his work on the desk. Eventually, Al starts a conversation with Freddie again. From this, you learn Freddie will be working as a salesman over the summer again. You curse, you didn't need such an attractive distraction during this job.

He started that next Monday, and oh boy, you didn't expect it to be that hard with him around. You find yourself watching him walk around the lot and talking with customers. In fact, he's the first one to hand you any paperwork that day. And when he does, your fingers brush against each other and you nearly panic. You avoid eye contact with him, you honestly try to avoid extended time around him, you eat lunch at your desk so you don't have to be alone with him in the break room. Unfortunately for you, Freddie finds this incredibly endearing to him.

You see, Freddie was less surprised by a new receptionist, and more surprised that she was actually cute, attractive, hot when you unbutton your shirt a little because of the California heat. It wasn't that Freddie didn't have other options than you, Martini had taken him to a bar or two, but those girls were nothing like you. He finds himself starring at you a lot, and even fantasizing about you.

One afternoon, about a month into Freddie's start, you're in the furnished breakroom of the office. Which is one small room with one small fridge, sink, counter, microwave, and table with chairs. You pull out your lunch from the fridge and stand, only to be startled once again at the sight of Freddie leaning on the counter to your right.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." He apologizes and holds his hand in front of him as he giggles.

"It's fine. I didn't see you." You exscuse yourself before going to leave.

"Wait a minute," Freddie calls, "I've had lunch alone everyday this week, keep me some company will ya?"

"Thats not true, you went to the deli Monday and Wednesday." You correct him. He chuckles and shrugs.

"Alright, you got me. Come on, take a break." He insists. You sigh and sit with him. He's pleasant, funny, and smart. He makes a comment about how you're waisting away at the community college, you belong at the University. You give a shrug. As lunch comes to a close, and you throw your trash away, you once again go to exscuse yourself and go back to work. But Freddie, refuses. "You're lunch break isn't even over yet!" He argues.

"I gotta get back." You leave him alone, and sad. He didn't even get the chance to ask you out. So he makes a plan. That night, he volunteers the two of you to close for the night so Martini and Al can leave early for a drink. You're not pleased by this at all. Usually, you're shift ends before any of theirs. Its late, you're tired, and more than a little fustrated. You're closing the back door, and wonder back to the office where Freddie is locking up out front. When you got back to pick up your things at your desk to leave, you're with Freddie wondering around very nonchalantly.

He's leaning against the counter in the office beside the coffee maker. He fiddles with it for a moment as you watch him, he's trying to act cool n' shit.

"Goodnight." You say, a little weirded out.

"Um, Y/N, before you go...I just wanted to apologize."

"Apologize for what?" He then pushes himself off the counter and begins walking towards you.

"I don't know, I guess if I made you feel uncomfortable or upset in anyway." He's closer now.

"What?" Closer, oh no, too close...too close. But you can't move, you're frozen. He gives a shrug and looks down at you.

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?" He asks you with a soft voice. Your furrow your brows.

"What-" He reaches a hand around to grab your neck and pull you into a passionate kiss. You're shocked st first, your heart is buring, your head spinning, your mind blank. You're helpless...and yet you're melting. Your eyelids flutter as they close and you begin to move. Your lips move back against his as you kiss him back. Its out of the blue, passionate, wild, rough, raw, pure. You want more, its only fueling your adrenaline rush, you can feel the endorphins in your head flying. You feel alive as the kids intensifies. Freddies hands are on your waist while your are on his shoulders.

But then, his hands slide down to your ass and he runs his palms across your shape. You're almost startled by this until he gives a slow, sweet grope. You pull away from the kiss, and give a small yelp as you lean into him. He pressing his face into your neck and leaves small kisses on your neck. Your hands fall down, and wrap around his back. He pulls up your skirt and gives your bare ass a good grope as he kisses your neck. He makes you moan as your gently run your nails down his clothed back. Suddenly you're very aware of his clothes, and it annoys you.

"Fuck you're so hot." Freddie whispers into your neck. Your chest heaves as he feels you up and now, he's pressing his hips against yours. Without a word, you start to unbutton his dress shirt. He slips out of it with ease and his hands quickly go to yours to get enough to reveal your bra. He gives a pleased sigh as his hands reach for your breasts and eventually unhook your bra. He spends a lot of time groping your breasts and sucking your nipples. In doing so, he's pressing you up against the desk until you put an end to the hip grinding by hopping on.

"F-Freddie.." you moan out as he kisses back up your collar bone to your neck. Your skirt hiked up to your waist, he spreads your legs around his waist. Your shirt, unbuttoned, still around your arms with your breasts exposed. You're completely vulnerable to him. He looks you up and down again and then into your eyes. "We shouldn't-" again, he kisses you. He grinds his hips against yours and gives needy moans. You can only cling to his arm as he reaches down. He flatly runs a fingers up the damp cloth of your panties. He does this a few times before he reaches in and plays with you further. He watches as you throw your head back and moan, grasping his arm as he pleasures you. He kisses your neck as he starts to finger you, almost bringing you to orgasm before he pulls away. You give a sad whimper before he pulls your panties off completely and takes a knee. He holds your thighs apart for a moment ask he begins to eat you out. Mostly playing with your clit, again almost bringing you to orgasm.

You'd like to think this is because he knows what he's doing. Its not. He just loves to hear you moan until he gets antsy. Finally, he stands and gives you another kiss. He pulls his cock out of his pants and quickly he has arm on each side of you on the desk as he slides deep inside you with ease. Fuck, he has to hold himself back. He has to be careful. So he starts slowly, which just drives you crazier. You cling to him as his thrusts are slow and deep. Fuck, you're close, too close.

"Fuck-don't stop." You beg him as he gives a grunt. He can't stop himself. You're driving him absolutely up the wall.

"Oh fuck," he moans between thrusts, he begins to speed up "oh fuck." He starts fucking you harder, faster, until the desk below is being rocked bakc and forth.

"Oh god!" You cry, throwing your head back again and clinging to him, leaving ligbt scratch marks on his back. Your mouth hangs open as your orgasm washes over you. Freddie gives a few more good thrusts, before completely losing it and letting himself cum too. You're both a panting mess as you try to regain your sanity.

"Fuck.." Freddie sighs happily with a smile. You take a breath and nod. He pulls away and stuffs himself back in his pants and you proceed to get dressed.

"That was..."

"Great." Freddie finishes with a goofy grin. You nod, and look away from him.

"That...that can never happen again." You tell him, and he agrees. But thats a lie. It happens again. The next day in fact when everyone is out at lunch as you're alone in the break room. Then in the women's bathroom. Then on the office's couch when you lock up one night. Its a passionate and purley sex driven afair you tell yourself. Its just, work friends with benefits sort of deal.

But that abruptly ends when one day, Freddie is a little more grumpy than usual. Instead of handing you paperwork, he throws it on your desk and gives an order. You pause, but he's gone before you can address it. Then, he's rude to you when you ask about some other paperwork. He brushes you off and tells you to ask Martini about it. And then, when you're left alone at lunch...a time when he's usually jumping to get you alone, he practically ignores. You tried to argue that he was having a bad day. But when he's rude a second day, third day, fourth...

On the fifth day of all that bullshit, your car breaksdown on your way to work and Freddie has to get you for work. The ride there is practically silent other than a short conversation about a caset tape in Freddie's car. The way home however, you can't take it. You're about halfway there when your pot just boils over.

"So what the fuck has been your problem latley." Freddie appears unchanged and doesn't even look at you. He takes a fiew seconds too long to answer. "What am I not good enough for you anymore? Can't even be handed shit anymore, you have to throw things at me!?" He doesn't answer. "Hey, Im fucking talking to you!" He just swallows. You lean back in your seat and stare at him. "Guess I'm just another whore then, huh? You fucked me and now you're done with me. Jesus christ. You're such a fucking hack! You're just a fucking loser with no respect for others! Fuck!!" You shriek, angry and fustrated with him on so many different levels. Mostly, because you actually liked Freddie and you had always craved him since that first day. You were mostly angry at yourself for liking him so much. You held your face in your hands. "Pull over." You tell him. Its raining, and you're miles from your apartment complex.

"What?"

"I said pull over!" You demand. He does so, hesitantly. You throw off your seatbelt and throw the door open. "I can't even fucking look at you."

"Y/N! Y/N get back in the car, its raining!" He calls after you as you slam the door and begin walking down the dangerous street towarda your home. But Freddie insists that you get back in the car and drives beside you slowly and yells from inside the cat. "Please, get back in!"

"No! I don't fucking need you! Clearly you didn't care about me before!"

"Yknow what....fine!!!" Freddie breaks, he shouts, and speeds off. Leaving you there in the rain to walk back home. You almost slip and fall a few times because not only is it raining, its pouring and cold, and its also a sketchy part of town. You sort of regret your decision, sort of. Fuck Freddie, if he wasn't going to respect you then you didn't need him.

Freddie, having sped off and now in the smoldering aftermath of his terrible decision, starts to regret leaving you there. In fact, looking around at this side of town...he's get worried. A pretty girl like you, that isn't safe. He curses himself and hopes he can turn around and find you. Eventually he does, and that sinking feeling he had stops. He drives slowly next to you and roles down the passanger window.

"Y/N..." he calls. You stop, and think for a moment and decide its best to just get in the car. The rest of the ride is silent. You're still upset with him. When he pulls up to your apartment complex, he opens his mouth to speak. "Look, I'm sorry I-" you slam the car door shut and quickly run inside. He's really fucked up now. He knows that.

It's just...he's never felt this way before...ever. And he got scared, he panicked. No girl has ever been so loving to him, been so good to him. He's never been in love before. And he didn't know how to react. He knew it was wrong in the moment but...it was classic "i dont know how to express actually love so I'm gonna be mean" syndrome. That night when he gets home, he calls you. But you, unsurprisingly don't answer the phone. So, he leaves a voicemail.

"Hey Y/N...its me, I just...god I don't know what to say. Sorry I guess, well, I don't guess. I'm sorry. For everything. I've been a totally asshole latley and I just...I want you to know I'm sorry and um..." the words get caught up in his throat, he wants to say it, but, "...you were right." And then he panics again and hangs up the phone.

"Y/N huh?" Al calls from behind him, having heard the whole thing. Freddie and you have actually kept your little fling a secret from everyone at the lot. This is his first time putting two and two together.

"Yeah...Y/N...I fucked up real bad, dad."

"Okay well, at least you know you fucked up."

"I don't want to lose her, I just...I panicked and I really hurt her."

"Why don't you call her back and tell her that?"

"She's not gonna listen to me." Freddie argues.

"Listen Fred, you can't give up. Not when it comes to someone you really care about. And unless she's told you no, then you can't just roll over everytime. Call her back and leave another message. Tell her how you feel."

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem. Go get em' Tiger." As soon as Al left the room, Freddie called again and left this message:

"Hey, its me, again. Look Y/N, I know that sorry won't fix anything and I can't blame you. I was a real ass. But I...its because you just, do something to me. I can't explain it exactly. But its like you've got a hold on me even when you're not around. Like, all I could do was think about you. And not just sexually, you're not like any other girl. You're...you're smart and sweet and funny and-" he exceeded the time of a voicmail. So he called back. "Me again. Anyways, you're also really sexy in a different way. Like, you're just...so amazing. And that, that scared me. I got scared and I started being a dick and thats no exscuse but thats what happened. And you just really mean so much to me. I really care about you and I just want to be with you because-" Suddenly there was a loud click on the other end. "I love you." He said awkwardly as you listened on the other end. You had picked up the phone on the other end.

"You love me?" You ask after a long pause.

"Y-Yeah...I love you Y/N. And I've never really, been in love before."

"Wow." You gasp.

"So uh...could I take you out sometime?"

"Like...on a date?" You ask, and Freddie chuckles on the other end.

"Yeah, like on a date."

"When?"

"Tomorrow, after work?"

"It can't be to a sleazy bar."

"Right. No sleazy bar. A restaurant, a nice restaurant."

"Okay. Tomorrow. See you then."

"See you then." He smiled.

[your-fave-is-catholic]

Your Fave(s) MIGHT Be Catholic: The Belcher Family (Bob, Linda, Tina, Gene, & Louise)

Known for: Main characters of the beloved animated television series Bob’s Burgers. They are a family who runs a burger restaurant in a wharf town in New Jersey, & they have many adventures & stories as they try to find success with their struggling eatery. Bob, the father, is the owner of the restaurant & its main chef. He’s hard working, takes his job seriously, & can get frustrated & panicked easily. But despite this, he’s also very friendly, very laid back, has a sense of humor, is very open minded, & loves his family more than anything! Linda, the mother, is the co-owner of the restaurant & runs the register. She’s very fun & extroverted, but sometimes gets carried away with her impulsiveness & has very awkward social skills at times. But despite this, she’s very kind, very compassionate, & loves her family more than anything! Tina, the eldest daughter, is a teenage girl who’s extremely socially awkward, has strange interests, & has a grown man’s voice. But despite this, she’s very passionate about what she loves, is the nicest of the children, & loves her family more than anything! Gene, the son, is a silly boy who loves music & silly humor, but has a very short attention span & can also be socially awkward at times. But despite this, he still has a heart of gold, has lots of determination, is very friendly, & loves his family more than anything! Louise, the youngest daughter, is a scheming little girl who alway tries to get rich quickly, has a sassy attitude, & is never seen without her trademark pink bunny ears hat. Despite this, she also has a heart of gold, is the most intelligent of the family, & loves her family more than anything! In short, they’re one of the best cartoons families on television, & they’re a loving family through thick & thin.

Why I say MIGHT as opposed to IS: The show itself doesn’t really dive into the subject of religion very much, mainly because the Belcher family is always busy working to keep themselves afloat, & also so as to appeal to as wide of an audience as possible. However, the show has dropped many hints over the years that suggest the Belcher family is Catholic. In the season 1 episode “Bed & Breakfast”, Linda at one point tells embarrassing stories about Bob, & one of them involves an incident where Bob accidentally drops a Eucharist at church. The show also has had several Christmas episodes throughout the years, & all of them make it clear that the Belcher family celebrates Christmas. The episode “Eggs for Days” also establishes that the Belcher family celebrates Easter, & Bob also mentions early on that Lent will have ended & customers who gave up red meat for Lent will be flocking to his restaurant for some burgers, indicating that Bob is at least aware of Lent. There’s also the fact that Aunt Gayle, Linda’s sister, has been posted on this blog already, & you can see her post here. However, there is some gray area that may indicate otherwise. In one of the Christmas episodes, Tina, Gene, & Louise are seen worshipping Santa Claus, even though Santa Claus isn’t a god & there is only one God in Catholicism (though they are children who don’t know better, so we can let it slide). There was also the episode “Teen-a Witch” where Tina temporarily practices the Wiccan faith to do witchcraft, & there’s also the episode “Aquaticism” where the kids create a fake religion in order to save an aquarium they like. In conclusion, it seems that there are strong indicators that the Belcher family is Catholic, that Bob & Linda seem to have accepted it as their faith, but the children might still be struggling to find what they believe in. Though if they ever do an episode where Tina celebrates her Confirmation much like how Tammy celebrated her Bat Mitzvah in “Mazel-Tina”, then maybe it will settle things, & I would imagine it’d be a great episode!

If this post is wrong: If this post is wrong & show creator Loren Bouchard or anyone else involved with the production of Bob’s Burgers has stated otherwise, please let me know & I will change this post right away!

[motherstarkling-blog]

Mainly for @kingslaying

Earlier I had stated that Catelyn Stark and Lysa Arryn were just Linda Belcher and Gayle - the two sisters from Bob’s Burgers. I think this is pretty accurate and I just wanted to go into a little more detail of what I meant.

First, let’s take a look at Linda. She is the very faithful husband of Bob Belcher and mother of three: Tina, Gene, and Louise. She is the type that would literally do anything for her family. Sound familiar? She works in her husband’s failing restaurant, staying by his side no matter what. Even though she herself doesn’t care all that much for the holiday, Thanksgiving is Bob’s favorite day and she lets him have it. There was an instance where Bob’s friend Teddy (a normal customer of his) has been told that his health is awful and that he needs to change his diet. Bob thinks that this is his fault for serving him burgers everyday and proceeds to have a nightmare about it. When he wakes up yelling that he’s killing Teddy, Linda calmly wakes up and plans out how they are going to get away with murder. That’s right, she’s ride or die.

As for her investment in her children, she has various things for each child that goes above and beyond that of what most mothers would do. For her oldest, Tina, she has always allowed her to express herself, even through erotic fan fiction and erotic friend fiction. She was very supportive of her when she wanted to work for the school news station. She helped move some money around when Tina wanted to go to horse camp for the summer. And while Tina was at horse camp, she created a restaurant camp for Gene and Louise so that they could have some sort of camp experience. Linda pretty much tried to become a cheerleader when Gene joined the squad and attempted to sell some of her porcelain babies to pay for Gene to go to baseball camp. When Louise couldn’t find a haunted house that scared her, Linda and the rest of the family worked to put together a haunted house to scare her. When Louise got in trouble at school for sticking up for another kid, Linda snuck her out of in school suspension and took her out for icecream.

Linda is very loyal to her family, just as Catelyn is to her family. Catelyn stood by Ned’s side no matter what he did and traveled thousands of miles to warn him of danger to try and keep him and the girls safe. She took Tyrion prisoner when she thought he was the one who had tried to kill Bran. Catelyn did the jobs that most women of her position would leave for the servants of the house, such as brushing and fixing their daughter’s hair and breastfeeding. Catelyn followed her son into war and died with him. She let go a prisoner of war because even though it would get her into grave trouble, she knew that it was the only way to ensure the safety of her daughters. And growing up, just like Linda, she had to take care of her siblings Lysa and Edmure.

A lot like Lysa, Gayle is unstable. She unhinges at the slightest things. In one episode we saw her freak out because Bob dropped a fork. She went through a phase of painting animal anuses, she once ate lipstick to feel red inside. Gayle lives by herself in a studio apartment with three cats and a bed covered in cardboard, foil, and plastic so that she can pretend it’s the end of the world and that it’s okay to sleep alone. She has a crush on anyone that Linda is in a relationship with.

Lysa is unstable in a different way, one in which she turns angry rather than panics. However, we do see a lot of the same sort of traits. Lysa isolates herself with her son in a place where her enemies can be thrown through a hole in the floor while Gayle isolates herself in her apartment with her cats where she pretends that the world is ending so she can be lonely and it’s not an issue. Lysa continues to breastfeed Robin (or Robert) well past the age when she should have stopped showing her need to baby him and cling onto him while also showing that she might be a little delusional. Gayle takes care of her cats as though they are her children, doing their nails, learning all of their characteristics, she talks to them as if they are people. Those cats are all she feels she really has.

One last similarity between Gayle and Lysa is the liking whoever your sister has. It’s not something that is evident with Lysa and Ned, but I do suspect that she did go through a period where she wanted Brandon. We do see her relentlessly chase after Petyr Baelish though. Petyr has fawned over her older sister for years, ever since he had arrived in Riverrun. She taunts him, telling him that Catelyn never loved him. And when she sees him with Catelyn’s daughter Sansa she goes mad with jealousy and attempts to kill Sansa. It’s this sort of twisted relationship that drove her to kill her husband Jon. When it comes to Gayle, it’s a little less intense. We see her go through a phase where she wants Bob and thinks that he is going to have an affair with her. Linda let’s it slide because she knows that once Gayle gets a little confidence that she’ll go after another man. When it looks as though it’s gone too far though, Linda pretends that she likes Dr. Yap, a dentist who has taken a liking to Gayle. As soon as Linda announces her relationship to Yap, Gayle instantly demands to have Yap back and that he is hers.

Now that might not seem like a huge trait to share, but I think it says a lot about both Lysa and Gayle. Wanting their sister’s men is not simply just wanting the men that their sisters are with. I think both of them are envious of their sister’s lives. I think Lysa is jealous that Catelyn got to marry a young man and have a big family while she was stuck with a rather old man and only had one surviving child. I think Gayle is slightly jealous that Linda has gotten married and has had kids and has truly grown up while she is living in an apartment by herself. And that jealousy thing is huge. They both have a lot that they weren’t able to do.

Knowing each of their traits I think highlights their dynamics with each other. Catelyn has cared for Lysa, and even when she returns and sees that Lysa is not stable, she still knows how to handle her. Linda is constantly taking care of Gayle, lending her money that she herself doesn’t have and making sure to include her in a lot of things and supporting her whenever she chooses to do something. Linda and Catelyn are both caretakers essentially while Gayle and Lysa are dependants. That’s the bottom line of their relationships.

[itsshadowcube-blog]

Character Analysis: Bob’s Burgers; Bob and Linda Belcher

While watching the show, Bob’s Burgers for the up-teenth time, I realized in a whirl of excitement, that the majority of the characters enveloped or personified certain mental illnesses.  Now, you might say that I am grasping at straws; the show is full of laughs and relatable characters.  How could mental illness come into play?  Let me explain. Bob’s Burgers is, on the surface, a “slice of life” comedy that follows a family and their restaurant in quirky adventures and relatable hardships of lower-middle-class families.  We watch as the three Belcher children find themselves in everyday activities, at school, in social constructs and we can not help but find ourselves relating to them when we were younger.  Bob and Linda Belcher, the parents and owners of Bob’s Burgers, run their restaurant from below their small apartment and most often showcase “relationship goals” in the way that they seem to completely go together and flow effortlessly with each other. 

They support their children in all avenues of their personality and encourage them to be the best of themselves.  This is brought to light with the eldest daughter, Tina, openly writes about her erotic friend fiction. She has no problem with writing in her diary, only to have her family go behind her back (and in some cases, sit in for a reading) and look through her thoughts and feelings.  Their son, Gene, is a young lad that has a great affinity with music, food, and his own bodily functions.  This seems to get somewhat annoying to the family, but being the Belchers, they still accept their son for who he is.  Louise, the youngest of the three, is a mastermind.  She looks as if she takes enjoyment from causing havoc, relishing in the adrenalin rush that comes with it.  Often times, we can hear her talking in the background as she encourages others to act on their impulses.

From this brief synopsis of the show and it’s main characters, it seems obvious that each of the children exhibits some kind of mental illness.  But, what of the parents?  The power couple made up of Bob and Linda, are the personification of bipolar disorder. This is showcased by their interactions together and when alone.

Please note that all this information is based on my own personal experiences and small research into bipolar disorder.

Bob: The particarch of the family, has it all; a loving family, a caring wife, and his own business that he built from the ground up.  He experiences the hardships of being his own boss, as well as taking in great joy in his work; making burgers. In many episodes, we see him interact with his landlord, Mr. Fischoeder (I’m going to be doing an anylsis of Calvin and Felix at another time), telling him that the rent will either late, or short.  From a business perspective, Mr. Fischoeder could easily evict the Belcher family, but chooses not to. (Again, this will be explained in his anylasis).  Across the street, Bob works against his mortal enemy, JImmy Pesto; he running a far more successful italian resturant.

Bob has a great passion for cooking, that dispite his poor resturant sales, never fails to get him noterity from celeberty chefs and even his landlord.  During the holidays, he takes his time to prepare the best meal, breaking down cooking a turkey in a cheap oven a complex science.  While cooking burgers, or a holday feast, we can see him talking to the food and giving it a personality as he carries on a conversation with himself.  On the surface, we can see this as a thing that he does, and just like the rest of his families quirks, is accepted, and take enjoyment in it.  However, watching the 8 seasons over and over, it starts to become a sad reality, and begs me to question why he does so.

It is pointed out multiple times in the series, that Bob does not have anyone that he really considers a friend (with the exception of a single friend who is a weathly entrepreneur).  Even taking muliple seasons to accept that Teddy, a regular customer and repairman, is in fact one of his best friends.  But, why is this?  We can chalk it up to the fact that making and keeping friends, quality friends, is a hard thing to do.  Made harder by working and owning a business and being a family man. 

Or, it could be his personality.  He has a rough sense of humor that often fails to make it’s mark.  Even at times, his own family does not understand it.  Or, it could be a completely different reason altogether; he is clinically, chronically depressed.  In the show, he remarks to his children about how great it was growing up in his father’s resturant, and working there.  But, upon closer inspection and an “oh shit” moment, it becomes clear that he did not infact have the wonderful childhood he thought he had.

His depression is made apparent in how he speaks in a monotone, though part of that could be because of his voice actor, H. Jon Benjamin.  But, I do not believe that that is not the case, since Benjamin also voices many other characters, including the voice of international superspy Archer, in the show, Archer, who is has an animated personality. Everything seems to be a chore, even if cooking is his life’s passion.  He moves slowly, is not often impressed (or sees things as lack luster) or too often exciteable, and seems to constantly portray the world and a horrible place.

Linda: A wife and mother to three children, Linda is the shoulders that holds the family together.  She supports her husnband in his buisness, being the waitress, wating on the far and few between customers, outside the regulars.  She is smart, beautiful, and talented; all compontents that Bob finds vaulable.

She sings and dances, often times chorographing her own songs during business hours.  Linda is a dreamer, in the simplist sense.  She constantly projects an unearthly positivity, keeping the family Belcher up more often than down.  She encourages her children to do activities that make them happy, supporting them when they question their hobbies.

For all intents and purposes, Linda Belcher seems to be the glue that holds the family together.  We watch her as she fights along side her children and her husband when they get in trouble, being the mothely lion that we would love to see in everday society, and personally, someone who I strive to be. 

From her interactions on the phone, and when they come into Bob’s Burgers, we can see that Linda is not short on friends.  And, at times, tells theatrical stories of the racoons that live behind her apartment.  She acts on impulse, becoming uncontraollably exciteable at inappropriate times.  Not only this, but she acts financially impulsive.  This is made evident through out the show, when she sells an esppresso machine in order to put her son, Gene, into baseball camp, though he does not enjoy the sport and shows no interest in it.

With this basis, I have concluded that Linda, is the manic part of bipolar.  And, looking into her family, it is not a far off thought. Her sister, Gayle who appears to have some kind of mental illness all her own as she struggles to live in her tiny studio apartment, hold a job, or a romantic partner.  Growing up, it becomes apparent that there was some kind of contest between the two sisters, and though they love each other, part of them resents the other.

Taking both of these characters together, it seems overwhelmingly possible that they could, together, be the personification of bipolar; Bob being the depressive episodes and Linda being manic. Alone, we can see that they fully encompass these two extremes.  It would look that if the two had never met, their world and their power together would be non-existent.  In an episode when Bob begins to lose his famous mustache, which we learn, Linda loves profusely, Tina makes up a scenario where the two had not met, with some role reversal with other characters, and they are not the Bob and Linda that we have come to know and love.

But, how does this make them a power couple?  When hearing the term bipolar, most people tend to shy away, thinking that there is something incredibly wrong.  While this can be true in most instances, it is not the case in the Belchers.  I believe that these two extremes that they exhibit actually make them strong as individuals and as a couple.  In a sense, they balance each other out. Similar to the concept of Ying and Yang.

Bob is level-headed, mostly, in his business.  He takes into account all the odds and ins of running a business and in doing so, is able to lean on his wife when he needs to.  When he becomes discouraged by events that could make or break his families way of life, Linda is there beside him, bringing him from the ashes. 

Linda is a romantic free spirit, that often forgets to land.  She fails to see the forest for the trees, and this tends to crush her momentum.  When this happens, Bob is there to calm her down, which in turn, ignites her passionate flame.  When she rises once more, instead of flying alone, she takes the hand of her husband, that had just reminded her with his own positivity (which he takes from Linda).

Together, they are able to overcome many obstacles in their life.  In doing so, they laugh and learn, once more cherishing every moment they have built up to that point.  It is my theory and taking part of my own experiences, that though they are two extremes of a complete whole, they even each other out.  Much like the instances of when I become manic, I know I am going to crash.  However, in preparation for that, my depression begins to take the manic energy, to keep a slower, more methodical approach to achieving the goal.

This personal correlation, the highs, and lows working together to create an even working space are why I believe that Bob and Linda work so well together.  It can be argued that this is just a healthy relationship at work. And you would be right.  Though they have their own personalities, wants and dreams, they still continue to support each other in a loving environment.  And, they could just be that.  A realistic and optimist that have found a rhythm in which they create a beautiful world.

Next, we will be looking into the children.  What do they seem to possess?

[threateninggayopinions-blog]

one last night with mata hari

“Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap.”  Allison Reynolds, The Breakfast Club

The sun had not fully risen on the morning of October fifteenth as the car within which Mata Hari sat streamed along the streets of Vincennes, a suburb on the outskirts of Paris. The renowned exotic dancer, imprisoned and sentenced to death during the first world war for espionage against the French, had been shaken awake in her jail cell early that morning for this trip. Upon arriving at their destination, a firing squad stood her up against a mound of earth and pointed twelve rifles at her breast. She was dead before many of the inhabitants of Vincennes awoke. She did not see the evening of October 15th. Mata Hari, the beautiful dancer who had held the admiring gaze of so many, was no more.

This was 1917. A hundred years later, in its world premiere, Craig Walker’splay  One Last Night with Mata Hari re-tells the story of her life, framed as a performance for her fellow inmates the evening before her execution. Perhaps because, rather in spite of, the meticulously researched nature of the writing, Walker’s script lends no credibility to some of the wilder, though supremely cinematic, rumours surrounding her execution. 

According to some, the exotic dancer opened her coat and flashed the officers as the shots rang out. Other, tamer accounts, claim she blew a kiss before they opened fire. Eyewitness accounts contradict both, but the myth persists – probably because the mystique tastes sweeter than reality ever will. I question, though, why it matters, if it will ever matter. Are we determined to attach sexuality to her death even as bullets rip through her skin because we are determined to give her agency in those final moments? Why is her sexuality the last and best thing we must preserve?

Mata Hari in front of the firing squad, 1917

Depending on who’s telling the story, the woman who threw her coat open in front of a firing squad can be extolled as an active defiler of patriarchal rule, or a wild, sexual being who wouldn’t let even a dozen rifles get in the way of having a good time. Both raise a lot of questions about how we covet, cherish, and condemn sex and sexuality, whether a hundred years ago or now.

There is a peculiar irony, addressed in the play, that Mata Hari’s body – once coveted by so many – was never claimed after her execution. A hundred years down the road, as I type these words to her, those bones must be dust, or less. And yet, she has not been forgotten. Maybe history loves a bad girl, the way most men have convinced themselves that they would love to date Zelda Fitzgerald and that it would be entirely wonderful for them both. Maybe the filmic trope of the femme fatale is not as passé as we pretend. But whatever the reason, she lives on, and after seeing One Last Night, I want to take the time to submit her – the double agent – to yet another interrogation.

What place does Mata Hari occupy in our society today? What can she tell us about sex, shame, and bodily autonomy? Power, pleasure, and taboos? How does this relate to performance?

And why is everyone so convinced she threw her coat open to her killers?

There is a line in One Last Night that I think taps into the very core of how sex and shame operate in the story of Mata Hari, when the dancer declares that she is always either seen as either the “saintly martyr” or the whore. In other words, she is always either shamed for her sexual promiscuousness or revered with words associated with chastity. This polarizing binary of sexual purity and sexual wickedness persists in the cultural perception of women outside of the play, aided along by pop culture and the mass media. Films like Black Swan hit the nail over the head, but you will see the whores and martyrs everywhere: the Final Girl in horror film is our Madonna, her slaughtered female friend the Slut Who Deserved It. Hell, you can say the same about Betty and Veronica. The dichotomy is so pervasive that humans everywhere seem to be convinced that the female exists in much the same form as that line on the chalkboard in Donnie Darko.

Mata Hari, photograph coloured by klimbin

I wish I could blame it on men. And it did start with Freud – who coined what he called the Madonna/Whore complex to describe men who were unable to sexually desire either their chaste, loving partners or the sexually loose alternative. (He spent a good amount of time puzzling over how to fix this, and indeed we still don’t know how to help men not be assholes.) But, as I am reminded every time my mom condemns a girl in short shorts on the street, people of all or no genders carry the weight of these confusing but convincing ideas about sex and womanhood. One Last Night With Mata Hari dramatizes a woman’s life, yes, but it also makes explicit the shaming surrounding promiscuous women and the culture that demands the promiscuous “bad girl” – or the performance of this idea - face punishment for her crime of sexuality.

Rubin asks us, where do we draw the line? 

In her essay Thinking Sex, Gayle Rubin explores where and how that line is drawn by different groups in power. Heterosexual reproductive sex – the non-erotic sex the good girl should reluctantly but willingly submit herself to - lies alone on the “good” side of the line. The rest is a spectrum of sexual behaviours and desires that ranges from gay sex to kinky sex to just sex for the sake of sex – sex that is enjoyable and thus condemnable. If these standards are good for anything, it is to indicate the absurdity of assigning moral value to chastity or sexuality. And yet slut remains another word for the bad girl.  

Taylor Swift pits the virginal good girl against the promiscuous whore in her 2008 “You Belong With Me” video. 

Slut shaming – the shaming of girls and women for dressing or behaving in a manner deemed inappropriately promiscuous - is an insidious practice that requires a commitment to the good girl/bad girl diatribe. But it also indicates an inability to understand how the good girl and the bad girl are performed, and may indeed often coexist in the same woman. In Power, Pleasure and Perversion, Linda Williams describes how women perform during sadomasochistic sex acts in order to negate the ability of patriarchal law to dictate their pleasure. The woman creates a performance of being coerced into the sexual act, thus allowing her to appear to be a good girl while receiving the pleasure of the bad girl. To reap the benefits, she must perform this pre-determined front.

Williams reminds us that there is indeed an awareness to our bad girls, harkening back to the carefully bubble-headed teenage girls to whom even Goffman pays a grudging respect. Writing about girls who act silly to attract boys, he states that they employ a “profound psychic discipline” in their maintenance of the act that undercuts their perception as flighty, naïve creatures.

Hari performed the bad girl and reaped the benefits of a society that had decided they urgently needed to believe in her promiscuity. But the benefits of a successful bad girl performance can reach beyond the personal and actually reveal the performativity of everyday life.  For if promiscuity can be performed, then womanhood itself can be performed, and the performance inherent in the construction of gender is thus exposed.

The 2012 film Cabin In The Woods plays with the virgin/whore dichotomy as it functions in horror cinema, where promiscuous women are punished by death at the hands of the killer, and only the sexually naive woman survives. 

At its core, though, the Good Girl/Bad Girl idea is a means of compartmentalizing women and stripping them of their identities in the process, performed in lieu of – god forbid – embracing women in all their complexities as equals. But what frightens me most is the implications of this idea as it interacts with the question of punishment, and by extension, rape.

The theme of punishment is explicit in One Last Night, present in the prison sentence and the cat o’ nine tails, but more insidiously in the audience’s question of whether Hari deserved to die. The insistence that “sluts” deserve or are asking for objectification is a common one, and as I have mentioned, it is not solely perpetuated by men in positions of social power.

I am haunted by the story of a survivor of rape who was called “the bad twin” by her rapist. In her article on the topic, the woman describes being confronted with this idea that she and her sister were interchangeable entities, distinguishable only by their attitudes toward sex. What is truly terrifying is the way that this objectification justified the act of rape, by perpetuating the idea that certain types of women will successfully protect themselves from rape while others desire or deserve it.  

By invoking the myth that there are “certain types” of women, that “good girls” do not get raped and that “bad girls” want it, we create a rape culture. We create a culture that frightens women into silence for fear they will be perceived as the bad girl.

Because If bad girls are Bad solely by virtue of their sexuality, then sex must be Bad as well. But women cannot be sexless – a society that objectifies and commodifies us for the sexual taking of men would be offended by the very idea. Thus the good girl must have sex, but it must be morally good sex – it must be a specific kind of sex that is different from that enjoyed by your average skanky bar-hopper, it must be a sex that transcends the limitations of a fishnet-stockinged prostitute or a cleavage-baring go-go girl. And out of this necessity, drawn with the sharp blade of the double-edged sword that says we must give our bodies freely but keep our shirts on, the bizarre line that Rubin gestures to is drawn between good sex and shameful bad sex.

But the Bad Girl and the Good Girl are performances and shorthands, nothing more. Our obsession with Mata Hari’s sexiness is an obsession with her exaggerated performance. But that obsession is incredibly telling when we use it to look inwards at ourselves: to ask why we are fixated on shameful sex and why sex is shameful in the first place. A hundred years ago, Mata Hari asked these same questions. And now, in 2017, I want to know: why are we asking if her coat was off and not if we would execute her all over again?

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i think if gayle was raised by actual competent parents she would have grown up to be more emotionally stable tbh she has character traits of all three belcher kids except brought to an extreme and with no support

like she has gene's love of performing and attention and his inferiority complex/feeling like a failure compared to his siblings (this is referenced FAR LESS for gene but trust me its a thing) and tina's social awkwardness and love of boys/romance, louise's general disregard for social rules and love of chaos and adventure but the difference is the belcher kids were raised by GOOD PARENTS who loved them and taught them to deal with their emotions in a healthy and productive way without enabling them

meanwhile gayle was very clearly neglected and put down all her life (people always say gayle got all her parents attention and took it away from linda but i dont see any real proof of that i think they just didnt care about taking care of their kids in general, at least beyond basic physical needs)

she never had parents to tell her she was important and loved or to help her deal with emotional dysfunction or feeling like nobody cared about her and acting out to get attention/faking an illness (VERY CLEARLY a sign of severe mental illness) im not saying gayle is a good person or sister and she mistreats people in her life a lot but she got a terrible mix of abuse/neglect from her parents and enabling from her sister so its not surprising she turned out this way

tbh linda is only as well put-together as she is because it was a coping mechanism in a dysfunctional family (and probably a promise to herself that she would be better than her parents) and she also obviously has issues with boundaries etc

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OKAY I AM FINISHED BOB'S BURGERS!!!! or im almost finished i have to rewatch a few of the latest episodes but i have watched every episode at this point :) so yayy here is a list of my favorite episodes

obviously the christmas episode from season 13 is the sweetest most adorable and emotional episode in the show <3 louise's poem and gene's music sound amazing together its the most heartwarming episode of the show

the episode where they visit bob's mom's grave and the episode where they visit bob's dad at christmas are both great bcuz i love family backstory!!!

the robbery episode where mickey is introduced is absolutely hilarious and probably the funniest ep of the entire show, or at least top 5

season four finale is very exciting and fun i rewatched it today and its a great prequel to the movie tbh

i loved the water balloon fight episode FJDMSSMSJSJJS its so funny 2 me that mr fischoeder's place was just fighting with water balloons, i love that its a battle royale hunger games kinda story and gene and louise just leaving the competition bcuz they want to play in felix's treehouse is hilarious and something that i would have done as a kid, also its a funny episode and the moment with bob and mr fischoeder was sweet

the episode where gene is home alone bcuz they forgot him is an interesting look into his mind and how he processes things and new situations, also very silly subplots

the episode where gene and louise are home by themselves bcuz tina is in detention is great, its an interesting look into their relationship and how gene doesn't exactly act like a big brother and isn't treated like one but he still loves his sisters, and also him trying and failing to be responsible LOL

bob actually was a cute episode that i watched bcuz i thought the title was so funny bcuz why would they parody that movie, but its actually adorable and i love the ending of this episode :) im not usually into romance-focused episodes but the ending to this was just so sweet and louise's thing with rudy was great

the subplot with gene and bob plumbing is honestly one of my favorites in the entire show idk how to explain why, and i absolutely adore the ending song to that episode its so passionate and so obviously full of love and affection for each other its so sweet <3 the main storyline is also interesting

that subplot where bob is annoyed by linda kicking him while they're asleep so he moves into the basement, but then linda comes down to visit and he acts like a teenager who has a girl coming over and he wants to impress her LOL and them trying to sleep in that tiny bed before realizing they should probably just go back upstairs, it really shows how much they love each other and WHY their relationship works and that they choose to be together again and again

the episode where the kids burn down the restaurant and try to make it up to their parents is great, i love how bob and linda try so hard to be understanding and gentle and how it ends with bob telling his kids that he loves them and that they're the best ever and he could never hate them its just such a healthy example of parenting and the relationship between them and the kids FJDMDMSJSJSM

topsy was a fun episode and also the musical number was so good, the episode where bob gets stuck to the toilet was also very fun and i liked the music in that episode :D that thanksgiving episode where bob keeps putting the turkey in the toilet, and the episode where he carries gayle through the show and home for thanksgiving. the ending gets to me idk, and the mini golfing thanksgiving episode from season 13 is great i love episodes that focus on the relationship between the kids and how much they all love each other!!!! also the episode where they pretend to be mr fischoeders family, and basically any episode with him tbh

the big fish episode where tina wants to be a good mentor and big fish and at the end louise and gene tell her that she's a great big sister to THEM and that they love her, and if other people can't see how amazing she is thats on them. it makes me so emotional for some reason!! sweetest episode ever

the ending of that episode where they do the time capsule thing and they're all sitting together outside the concert and sing that song about how they'll be together when they're older, i know it probably wasn't supposed to be mean anything serious but something about it really gets 2 me and emphasizes the relationship between the kids and how they're going to grow up together

gene cheerleading episode was great, and i liked the season 13 episode were linda volunteers at their school And also the episode where linda gets a job at a grocery store its very silly

also not an episode but i remember a scene where linda like spills her wine and she tries to soak it up with a shirt so she can drink it?? and bob just laughs and says i love you and it sounds so genuine, i dont remember what episode that was but its just sweet how much he genuinely adores her. also that moment in early season 1 where linda is singing and even though bob is annoyed he just starts laughing bcuz he loves her so much

a lot of the early episodes were funny and i like the handdrawn animation style a lot more its very expressive :0 the episode with the trans sex workers is weird but also fun, and i love the relationship between the family and the one-eyed snakes

the christmas episode from season eight?? that was extra long was good i liked watching that episode, the music was great and i loved the giant party with like 500+ queer people Where did they come from

the episode where bob takes gene to that laser rock-and-roll show is a classic, and the season 12 episode where louise asks if she isnt being a girl in the right way. also the sleepover episode with louise and jessica

i also liked the lice episode for some reason LOL

random things i like abt bob's burgers that aren't related to a specific episode:

bob hates jimmy pesto but by like season 2 he accepts that all his kids are just going to be friends with jimmy jr and andy and ollie and he's okay with that and supports their weird friendship, it would be so annoying if he was constantly trying to sabotage the friendship between these kids who have nothing to do with their feud but he and jimmy pesto are like Whatever its fine they're friends :) also specifically that parade episode where jimmy jr was forced to attack tina and at the end they apologize and theyre dancing together it was cute

bob gets that weird horse tattoo for tina and throughout the rest of the show, whenever he's animated with his shirt off and his back visible he still has the tattoo!!! including in the weird bean stock fairytale louise was telling where he was a giant and he never had kids, he still has that tattoo <3 its so adorable to me he loves her so much

everywhere related to mr fischoeder is so fucked up i love him 10/10 best character in animation