#also gambling addictions are no joke. they are not a choice and they are not a punchline | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jahayla-parker · 2 years ago

Note

writing prompt:

"We can't afford to gamble like this."

"Are you kidding? This is the perfect time to gamble."

for character of choice

To Gamble or Not To Gamble: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Description: 6.6k wc, Jesper and reader find themselves in a situation where they must decide how to proceed and Jesper suggests he puts his gambling skills to the test.

Warning: mention of injuries and some descriptions of that and blood, angst but happy ending, guilt and remorse, curse words, typical six of crows warnings, mentions of gambling and addiction.

“How are we supposed to sneak it off the table?” Y/n groaned, the side of her head resting against the brick wall in annoyance.

Kaz had sent her and Jesper to retrieve some antique chest that had saints-knows-what inside of it.

According to the intel Kaz had, it was supposed to be here, this dingy and cramped gambling den that is buried deep in the abandoned outskirts of the barrel.

The gambling den also operated as an auction house whenever their crew’s leader came into possession of something worthwhile; such as this allegedly valuable chest.

Kaz’s intel was right about the chest being present.

However, the chest was not up for sale during some auction.

Instead, it was being used by some gambler as payment for his night.

Y/n had frequented enough of these shabby gambling sites around Ketterdamn to know that it was rare for a gambling house to let someone pay in anything other than Kruge.

But anyone who looked at the chest, its shine nearly blinding despite its evident old age, knew it was likely worth a hefty price.

Not to mention, the house likely knew what was allegedly inside of it.

It would help if Jesper and y/n had been told of it’s contents, but Kaz once again elected not to share this crucial detail.

So, here they were leaning against the entrance to the smoky gambling hall trying to decide how to proceed.

A simple theft was one thing, but now that the gambling den’s customer had used the chest as payment for however many hands the house had agreed to, it was being closely monitored by countless guards and in full view of the remaining patrons.

“Relax love,” Jesper grinned, kissing her cheek, “I have an idea”.

“Care to share there, Jes?” Y/n teased, pulling her slumped frame off the bricks.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” he winked.

Y/n laughed and rolled her eyes, “Jesper, they aren’t going to let that chest leave here”.

“They won’t have a choice if we win it” Jesper said, with a shimmer in his pupils.

“How are we going to do that?” Y/n asked, scanning the room.

“Do you see how the chest is resting on the table to the right, along with that box of Nastoki?” Jesper asked, placing his arm over her shoulder.

As her eyes made contact with the overpriced alcoholic import in question, she nodded.

“That means it’s not just being used in exchange to fund a few hands for whatever mercher brought it here. Instead, it’s up for grabs, assuming one wins at least the total amount the house exchanged for it, plus usually twenty five percent profit.” He explained confidently.

“Okay, so, I somehow calculate the worth of the chest.. maybe by asking around without striking suspicion? Even if so, how do we get it? Claim we played a few hands and then offer the money from Kaz as our alleged earnings in exchange for whatever it’s worth?” She questioningly planned aloud.

“No darling, it’s much simpler than that; I play for it” Jesper winked, smirking over at his girlfriend before looking at the den ahead of them.

“Jesper, honey, Kaz doesn’t want you -“ y/n began, feeling iffy about the idea.

“I know, I know, but come on it’ll be fun!” Jesper pleaded, practically bouncing with excitement.

“Jesper, we cannot afford to gamble like this” she told him.

“Are you kidding? This is the perfect time to gamble” he joked, flashing the kruge from Kaz.

“Unless we lose, then we’ll be far worse off than if we just tell Kaz we couldn’t get it today” y/n pointed out.

She didn’t really fear Kaz herself, but she knew that regardless of the outcome, Kaz wouldn’t react well to Jesper’s idea and that Jesper would in turn, pout the rest of the day until Kaz moved on.

“We won’t lose” Jesper said confidently.

“How do you know that Jesper?” Y/n sighed.

She didn’t want to make him feel bad about this, but she also needed to keep him level headed.

“‘Cause I’ve got you. You’re good luck” Jesper grinned, kissing her cheek flirtatiously.

Rolling her eyes she whispered “come on, let’s just go Jesp”.

“Doll, I’m serious, we can easily get that chest, we just gotta play a few rounds and it’ll be ours” Jesper swore, playing with the hair that hung on the sides of her face just next to her temples.

“Kaz will kill us, that is unless they kill us first” y/n resisted.

“Nah” Jesper said, wrapping his arm back over her shoulder, “we’ll be fine”.

She rolled her eyes, “no Jesper, now come on, we need to get out of here”.

“Kaz wanted us to grab the chest” Jesper argued, getting a bit irritated now.

He found a solution!

Why wasn’t she letting him fix this predicament?

“Yes, but not in this way” y/n reminded him.

He shrugged carefree, “then he should’ve specificed”.

“Jesper again, Kaz’s money or not, we cannot afford to gamble like this” y/n said, her eyes making note of each weapon she could spot the patrons hiding on their bodies.

“Love! Are you kidding?! I’m serious about this being the perfect time to gamble” Jesper defended.

“For you, I’m not sure there is such thing” she scoffed, giving him a soft but knowing look.

She wasn’t going to get on him about his issues, but she was also not going to encourage him to partake.

“Rude” Jesper feigned offense, “let me show you what I can do.“

While he knew she meant no harm and didn’t judge him, he wanted to show her this wasn’t a big deal.

He wanted her to see that he didn’t always lose the way Kaz liked to tell her he did.

Jesper cupped her face with his palm, “let’s go”.

As he guided her across the hall, his right hand never left her waist.

His left hand was resting on his hip, signaling to everyone he was carrying a gun should they try anything.

He was well aware that this wasn’t the most reputable gambling house in Ketterdam.

As such, he wasn’t sure how these patrons would behave around someone as radiating as Jesper found y/n to be.

He slid into an empty seat at one of the scuffed up dark mahogany tables.

Jesper tapped her hip bone softly as he guided her to sit down.

As she sat cautiously on his leg, he whispered into her ear, “relax love”.

“It’s not a good idea, Jes” she stubbornly stated, head buried in his neck making it seem flirtatious instead of appearing as a random couple suspiciously whispering inside the den.

As Jesper signaled that he’d be joining the game, he rubbed her back, “want to bet?”

Y/n leaned back to look into his fieldstone colored eyes, “ isn’t that already what you’re doing?”.

He smirked and kissed her cheek before turning his attention to the table.

Jesper was feeling lucky tonight.

He wasn’t lying when he said she was his lucky charm.

Perhaps it was merely that he paid more attention to the bets in an attempt to impress her.

Tonight only fueled that desire.

He knew Kaz had told her of his frustration with Jesper’s gambling.

He knew Kaz saw it as problematic and to be fair Jesper knew it could cause problems from time to time.

But he was hoping that maybe tonight he could show her it isn’t a big deal not was it always a bad thing.

Plus he didn’t want her to think he was horrid at the game, even if she didn’t really care if he was skilled in this area or not.

“Doll, play along please” Jesper pleaded in a low voice, leaning his chin over her shoulder as he placed his latest bet.

Y/n gave him a look when no one was looking their way, before her eyes once again analyzed the room for threats.

“Y/n/n, they’re going to know I’m up to something if we don’t “ Jesper whispered with a sigh as he examined his hand.

“I thought you didn’t recognize anyone Jesper” y/n asked with clear irritation in her tone despite the way she leaned into him to speak without anyone hearing.

“I didn’t, until now” Jesper said tapping her left arm softly before stroking it to remove any suspicions from the other patrons over his movements.

After a few moments of bickering between some of the other gamblers playing at their table, y/n looked slyly over to her left, flipping her hair flirtatiously as a mask for her real intentions.

As she snuggled into his body, her lips against his ear, hair covering her lips from view, she asked, “tall, white guy in stripes?”

Jesper bent his head in a sly nod as he smirked when a patron began watching him and y/n closely.

“Should we leave?” She asked, hand on his chest as she lifted her head and looked around the room as if bored.

“No doll, let’s just enjoy our date, hmm?” He asked, his tone as he said ‘date’ emphasizing his point.

Jesper knew this person in stripes to be Mr. Callaghan.

Mr. Callaghan knew Jesper and of his gambling troubles and it wasn’t good news if he was here.

However, Jesper figured if she could keep up their cover and make it seem like they were on a date, he wouldn’t find it questionable.

After all, the couple did have some nights she’d join him for a round or two, so it wouldn’t be too unusual.

The worker at their current table shoved the round’s winnings towards the undercover crows as soon as it was deemed Jesper won the round.

“Yes!” Jesper smirked, kissing her cheek, “what did I tell you doll?”.

Playing her part and loving the grin that formed on his face she smiled and cupped his face, “fine, you won”.

“Mmm” Jesper smirked smugly, “always do”.

“So not true” y/n teased, shaking her head softly.

“You do know who I came in here with, right?” He winked, “like I said, I always win”.

Y/n rolled her eyes as her cheeks heated up, shuffling closer to him.

They deliberately made their way to the lead table, trying to take enough time to not look suspicious.

But they also couldn’t take too long as y/n was certain Jesper’s luck would surely run out soon.

She hadn’t seen him this lucky in his wining streak before.

And while she was happy for him, especially as he seemed even more confident than normal, she knew it would take just one wrong overly wagered bet to make things go terribly wrong.

In order to earn a spot at the main table and be considered for the chest (and the similarly placed higher value winnings), the couple had to wage some large bets.

And while they’d been lucky so far, the luck was only making Jesper even more cocky and blind to the risk.

The wagers he was placing were now not only enough to keep them going to their goal, but were well above that for no reason other than Jesper needing that rush.

“Jes, honey” y/n softly spoke, rubbing his hand as he went to double his wager.

“Yes darling?” Jesper asked, kissing the bare skin between her collarbone and neck.

As y/n saw some eyes on her, she put on the facial expressions of an irritated girlfriend, giving Jesper a look with her eyes so he knew it wasn’t genuine.

“Can’t we just go Jesper?” Y/n wined, a dramatic pout on her face as she dragged her hand down his chest.

Jesper suppressed a smirk, not having any problem with her ruse if it meant her hands stayed on him.

Yet, he knew what she was doing, also having seen the other patron watching them closely.

Jesper felt a bit on edge, uncertain if they were scrutinizing their ruse or worse, checking y/n out.

As the man’s eyes glanced up and down y/n’s body as she sat on Jesper’s lap, Jesper restrained from laying his hands on his pistols and guiding his girl home.

Giving the man a warning glance before smirking and kissing y/n’s cheek, Jesper responded, “we will soon love, gotta win you that chest you wanted first, hmm?”

Y/n batted her eyes and nodded, “really? You can win it for me?”

Jesper grinned at her dramatic statement but also took it as a true challenge, “for you, of course“.

Jesper’s attention was drawn back to the other guy when he groaned and commented that Jesper needed to place his bet already.

Jesper smirked and slid some kruge across the table as he moved y/n to his other leg away from the guy.

“Jes, I can’t see the back office from this angle” y/n whispered, dipping her head into his neck.

Jesper hummed, squeezing her hip, “I know, but I don’t like you near him with the way he had his eyes on you”.

Y/n looked up from his shoulder to see what he was referring to; instantly making awkward eye contact with the man in question.

Swallowing thickly, she gave the man a look she hoped showed her lack of interest before turning back to Jesper.

“Where’s the chest?” Jesper asked, resting his hand on y/n’s small back as they stood at the table.

“When you’re ready to cash out, you’ll get it” the handler said, waving to his left; the direction where another worker had moved the chest.

“That’s not how this works” Jesper argued, starting to sense something was off.

“Look man you don’t want to have to carry it around all night “ the employee pushed.

Y/n rubbed Jesper’s arm as she stared at the man, “oh don’t worry! He can still play, I can carry it”.

Jesper fought back a grin and smirked, “as my lady stated, she can hold it until we leave”.

“That won’t be necessary. What, do you not trust us or something?” The man asked, staring at Jesper with a taunting gaze.

“I could give you just about a thousand reasons why that would be reasonable” Jesper remarked, moving his arm from behind y/n to her front.

The man looked Jesper up and down, “that is rich coming from you”.

Before Jesper could respond or y/n could react, the man continued, “the boss needs to record it for the books. You’ll get your winnings soon, why don’t you stay and play a few more rounds?”.

Jesper glanced over at y/n who sighed loudly, “it’s fine. We can wait a bit babe, as long as it doesn’t come back all scratched up”.

The man chuckled, “course not, no damage will be done to your pretty chest darling”

Y/N’s hand twitched against her leg, her fingers brushing Jesper’s thigh briefly as she restrained her disgust.

Jesper sent a harsh glare at the man and guided y/n away.

Jesper huffed as he walked back to the table.

“Play a few more rounds, I’ll find the chest” y/n whispered while no one was nearby.

Jesper raised an eyebrow at her, “says the one who didn’t want me to play tonight”.

Rolling her eyes, she sighed, “you got us into this, but now it’s hidden. Might be back to plan A of just stealing it. But we have to know where it is to do that. Three rounds max though”.

Jesper nodded, rubbing her back, “agreed. I am sorry doll”.

Y/n smiled at him, “it’s fine Jes, but be conservative on these rounds Hmm? Don’t need to go home short handed tonight”.

Jesper understood her message, not only should he do smaller bets, but he should also drag out the rounds by contemplating his betting decisions.

Partially because it meant less chances for him to lose his winnings, but also because he needed to make it seem like he had been trying to leave before he lost money rather than just because they’d earned the chest and were therefore done.

Y/n waited with Jesper for another few rounds, sipping on very watered down drinks.

Once the staff were back to ignoring her and Jesper, she stood.

“Where are you going hun?” Jesper covered.

“I need to pee” y/n said, pretending to as if she wanted to whisper but was too drunk to do so.

Jesper chuckled and nodded, squeezing her hand, “don’t be long”.

Y/n squeezed his hand back before moving through the crowd.

Y/n was just about to check if the next closed door in the long dingy hallway was locked when she heard voices.

She’d checked at least five rooms which were all useless, but no one had been present in them.

Y/n froze and leaned against the wall next to the door to keep steady so she wouldn’t accidentally make a sound but could still hear.

“He’s never this lucky” she heard someone remark.

“I don’t care. You weren’t to let anyone else play for it, Bracken!” The other voice barked.

Y/n felt a sinking feeling in her gut, it had to be about the chest.

This room was one of only three rooms left in her search of the club where she’d seen the chest be moved to.

Did they know what was in the chest?

Is that why they weren’t supposed to be waging the chest?

How did it get thrown in as part of the den’s possible winnings then anyways?

As she heard more arguing and feet shuffling closer, she glanced around before sliding back down the hall and through the bathroom door.

She took a moment to compose herself, feeling her hidden leg belt holding her small blade.

It was better than nothing, but far less ideal than what she normally liked to have on her.

But Kaz was insistent that this was to be an auction and even in Ketterdamn women were expected to wear dresses at such events.

Y/n was just glad she had brought a hair tie, having snuck it in by placing it inside her heel.

It was uncomfortable to walk in, but it meant her hair could be out of her way should things go sideways.

Taking it out, she tied up her hair and swiftly made her way back to her boyfriend.

Chest or no chest, the staff were getting suspicious and the couple would be wise to leave soon.

Meanwhile, Jesper had finished his third round and began panicking that she wasn’t back.

He did another round to distract himself and focus on trusting that she’d be able to handle herself.

“Saints, that girl really is your good luck huh? You suck without her” His opponent asked mockingly as Jesper lost yet another hand.

Normally, he’d be offended or at least give some sarcastically witty retort but his kind was on her absence.

She should’ve been back by now.

Jesper looked up and saw she was empty handed as she gave him a look that communicated she didn’t get the chest.

But he couldn’t have cared less, he was just glad she was okay.

He majorly regretted having suggested they stay instead of just telling Kaz the chest wasn’t up for auction.

Regardless that she hadn’t found anything and seemed okay, Jesper intended to keep her close to him now.

“What did I miss?” Y/n asked, adjusting her dress as she sat down.

“Nothing love” Jesper sighed, biting his lip.

The other guy scoffed and laughed, “you’ll see, he’s about to lose again”

Y/n glanced at Jesper who just shook his head, setting another kruge down to increase his bet.

“Something is up!” The man shouted, slamming his hands on the table when he lost.

“Woah” y/n giggled, playing her roll of ignorant girlfriend “you okay over there?”

The man’s nostrils flared as he growled, “hey! Security, it’s her!”

Jesper promptly stood, pulling y/n behind him.

She no longer had to pretend she was confused.

She felt like a lost and pathetically naive girl in that moment.

A large crowd formed around their table as her boyfriend shielded her, one hand on her and the other on one of his pistols that he was no longer concealing; his fingers twitching to pull them from their holsters.

She was too busy measuring the threats around them to listen to the argument, letting Jesper focus on that part.

But she knew from his tone Jesper wasn’t pleased, “not going to happen”.

“Look, she’s pretending to be scared and confused! Such a sneaky little bi-“ the gambler argued angrily as he moved closer.

Jesper pulled his pistol out within a split second, it now being positioned at the man as the den’s security freed their weapons in response.

The man stopped mid curse and smirked “see how defensive? He’s protecting his secret stash”.

“You’re done talking about her” Jesper remarked, his empty hand still on y/n as he moved her to a slightly more guarded spot behind him.

“Stash?” Y/n questioned, shaking her head.

“The innocent doe eyes thing isn’t going to work sweetheart “ the man remarked.

Jesper’s grip on his pistol tightened but he let his eyes flicker to his girlfriend’s hand that she’d rested on his hip when the scene first started.

Jesper felt horrible.

He’d gotten them into this situation.

He was the reason why there were not only men crowding them but armed men.

Not to mention, it was his reputation of bad luck that had this man doubting Jesper’s sudden string of good luck tonight.

“Leave her out of this. If you think I’m cheating take it up with me, not her” Jesper stated sharply.

Y/n glanced at the back of his head before back to the others and stepping sideways as she came to understand what was happening.

Jesper’s eyes shot to her in panic and disappointment, a firm whisper, “y/n/n”.

Y/n waved an arm down her body, “you think I’m concealing cards on me?”

Only one single man was decent enough to look embarrassed as she pointed out the fact her dress didn’t cover much; and therefore there weren’t many hiding spots.

“I mean, there’s not many places I could,” she chuckled, “but feel free to look”.

Jesper stepped closer to her, uncertain what she was doing.

The guy who’d been eyeing her earlier, smugly moved forward far too eagerly.

“With your eyes, not your hands” she demanded holding a hand up to stop the man.

Jesper glared at the man, his second pistol out and now pointed at the men as he clenched his jaw.

One guard looked her over, “how do we know you’re not hiding cards were your skin is covered?”

“Where?” She asked, hands running down her dress everywhere but the area of her knife belt, “there’s not even any pockets or sleeves”.

“You know where” the guard smirked, explicitly eyeing her breasts.

Jesper clicked his revolvers as he stepped closer with a low growl deep in his throat.

“Enough, we’ll just get out of your hair then. Let’s just cash out and leave , Jesper. “ y/n said, knowing Jesper was at his end.

He kept staring at the men for a little longer but nodded his head once.

He lowered his pistols at the same time the security did, but didn’t place them back in their holsters until after the others had put theirs away.

Not that it would matter, y/n knew very well that Jesper would easily be able to pull his guns back out long before the others could even attempt to raise theirs.

An obese man tossed a bag of their winnings towards the couple and y/n caught it.

Jesper placed his hand on her back and gently lead them to the door.

“My chest” y/n reminded them, turning around and stopping their exit.

Jesper wanted to groan.

Yes, they needed the chest.

But, he’d have found someway to make it up somehow.

Just not now, not when the staff were already on edge and eyeing y/n.

“Wouldn’t you rather have the money?” The man asked , “maybe your man will get you something nice with it”.

“My girl wants the chest” Jesper argued, “so, where’s the chest?”

“The chest is not for sale” some random person spoke loudly.

“That’s fine because we’re not buying it” Jesper smirked.

Y/n caught a glimpse of the chest next to the man who’d recently spoken up.

She nodded her head his direction and Jesper raised an eyebrow.

Looking back at the house boss, Jesper gave him a questioning gesture.

The unknown man pushed the chest against the ground, the box scrapping against the bottom of the bar.

Y/n and Jesper shared a moment of eye contact before all hell broke loose.

Y/n unsheathed her blade as Jesper flipped his pistols around on their way up to his hands.

The guards weren’t too far behind and soon the couple were separated.

Jesper wasn’t even watching where he was pointing his guns, his eyes following his girl as she fluently leaped between tables as she fought off some of the guards while trying to get closer to the chest.

He was glad she wasn’t only skilled at avoiding gunshots, but also that the guards were poorly equipped.

Most had a few, dirty but sharp blades, but few had anything of larger concern.

And for those that did, Jesper guarded her from them.

As someone tried to grab his left pistol, Jesper faced him and snapped the barrel upwards against the guys’ hand, using the man’s stumbled response to send him to the floor. Jesper hit the man’s head with the butt of his gun on his way down; knocking him out.

Jesper’s eyes had just located y/n when she hissed loudly, his wide eyes seeing red pour down her exposed leg; the color visible even under the minimal glow of the club.

Even though she kept fighting her way to the chest, Jesper rang shots out faster as he rushed towards her.

As he shot the man who had stabbed her, y/n looked over at him and gave him a weak cocky smile.

Jesper could see the strain through it and his heart dropped.

She looked away and clumsily jumped off the bar counter and towards the man and his chest.

“Y/n!” Jesper called, pleading her to stop.

“I believe that’s ours” she said to the man, ignoring Jesper.

“Psycho little -“ a guard said just before y/n used her good leg to swipe his legs out from under him and knock him down.

Jesper kept one gun pointed at the guards before her who were holding her at gunpoint.

His other was turned sideways to hit the man charging at him from across the room.

Y/N’s sharp inhale rang through the air, making Jesper’s eyes freeze for a moment in fear.

But as he turned to her, he saw her nearly on the floor.

None of the guards he’d pointed his gun at had even moved.

What happened?!

Y/n pressed a shaky hand on the dingy floor to catch herself, groaning as her wrist screamed at her.

The man she’d knocked down had returned the favor by tugging her dress’s edge downwards, making her land on the floor in front of him.

She looked down and faintly made out the dull knife the guard had in his grip just as he dug it into the already broken skin.

Y/n cursed and broke the guy’s wrist as she moved her blade to his neck.

She heard the men above her moving in response and she could envision all their guns directed downwards at her.

But, she couldn’t do anything about that.

At this one she had pinned would pay for the scar he likely was causing.

She knew Jesper was there, and she hoped he’d seen what was going on.

But, she knew he had countless other threats surrounding him in the packed bar, so she wasn’t certain if he had.

She flinched and squeezed her eyes shut as she heard the familiar clicking of guns and braced for their shots.

As gunfire rang out through the now-stuffy air, y/n felt the man pull his knife out of her leg, going back for another strike.

She pressed her blade to his throat tightly, knowing she had enough pressure to subdue him as she heard him start to squirm.

Upon hearing bodies hit the floor next to her, y/n peeled her eyes open and saw Jesper had wounded each man.

Jesper was beside her, kicking the guns away from the men as he bent down to lift her up.

“Hang on love” Jesper huffed, one hand around her waist as he hoisted her back to a standing position.

He positioned his other hand so it was pointing his pistol toward anyone who dared to try and come forward.

He didn’t want to have to shoot anyone else but he would willingly shoot-to-kill every person in the bar if that’s what it took to get his girl out and he wanted them to know that.

Y/n mumbled something unintelligible as she pressed her palm to her wound while trying to brace herself on Jesper.

Jesper fought to keep his sorrowful and pained eyes off her leg as he helped her walk out of the bar.

“Wait” she gasped, making him freeze as his wide eyes snapped to her face.

“T-the.. Ches-“ she groaned, eyes squinting in pain.

Jesper huffed in irritation but leaned her on the counter as he rushed back to the chest, hurriedly grabbing it and then her hand, “now come on”.

Once they’d ventured down the narrow side-street alleys far enough to feel somewhat less at risk, she slowed her pace as she moved to rest against the wall.

Jesper fell to his knees before her as she pressed her back against the cold mossy bricks, sliding down until her butt hit the ground.

He finally let his troubled eyes examine her leg, his teeth grinding as they did.

“Shit” he sighed, looking around for water to clear the wound so he could see it better, “love, fuck”.

Y/n chuckled faintly, rolling her head side to side as the back of it rested against the bricks, “it hurts like the bitch they said I am, but I’ll be fine”

Jesper shook his head, tears flooding his vision as he faced her, using his hand to wipe the blood away since there were no liquids around.

“Fuck, Jesp-“ she moaned, pushing her fist to her mouth to keep quiet.

He glanced up at her with remorse as he wiped some sweat beads from her forehead with his other hand.

Jesper stared back down at her leg, trying to problem solve, “I know baby, I’m so sorry. Shit I- I don’t. Okay so-“.

Y/n reached out and tenderly stroked his face, making him let out a choked sob, “Jesper, honey,-“.

He shook his head firmly, pulling the bottom section of torn material from her dress and pressing it against her wound.

She grimaced but nodded as his eyes looked into hers, “let’s go”.

Jesper gave her a thankful smile at how strong she was being despite their situation.

By the time they made it back, y/n was dragging her leg so much that Jesper was nearly carrying her.

In fact, he wished he was, but her stubbornness and pride got in the way.

Ironic, right?

He used his free hand to throw open the doors, not caring that they slammed against the wall loudly.

He was glad it helped announce their entrance, his focus on finding Nina.

“I-it- just a scratch Jes” y/n tried to comfort, gripping the material of his shirt.

He knew the wound wasn’t life threatening but he hated that there was one at all.

She shouldn’t have been hurt.

He shouldn’t have gotten her hurt.

As Nina finished up the stitching on y/n’s leg, y/n continued drawing shapes on Jesper’s palm.

He hadn’t left her side from the moment it happened, not even when Kaz tried to pull him out so they could talk.

He’d face Kaz’s wrath later even if delaying it only made him angrier.

He wasn’t ready to leave her side.

Kaz had taken the chest to hide it wherever and hadn’t returned since.

Nina had already fixed the pain and bleeding and was just stitching up the skin to aid in her healing.

“Twice daily, rinse between applications” Nina stated, facing Jesper as she handed him a jar.

“What is that?” Y/n asked, reaching for his other hand.

“It’ll keep it clean and fix the infection” Nina said softly.

“Infection?” Jesper asked, the way his head was still hung and the pain and guilt in his voice made y/n frown.

“Whatever Saints-forsaken dagger was used wasn’t exactly clean, nor is Ketterdamn” Nina explained.

Jesper nodded, turning the jar over in his hand as he scrutinized the material.

Y/n gave Nina a pleading look to which her friend smiled in understanding.

“But, she’ll be fine, you got her out” Nina said, “she’s lucky you were there, it could’ve been worse”.

Jesper began to argue but y/n squeezed his hand to stop him.

Nina gave them both a kind smile before she stepped out.

They both called out a thank you to Nina before y/n tilted Jesper’s head up so she could his pewter-green eyes she adored.

He took a shaky breath, setting the jar beside her as he cupped her face with his hands, “I’m so sorry y/n, if-“.

“Please stop Jes, it’s not your fault “ she sighed.

“Doll, -“ Jesper argued softly as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Jesper!” Kaz’s booming voice called out the sound forced into the room before the man himself did.

“Ka-“ y/n began defensively.

Jesper shook his head at her, willing to accept his punishment.

“I wasn’t speaking to you, was I?” Kaz snapped, sending her a harsh stare.

But y/n noticed the way a grimace formed as his eyes fell to her patched leg.

It lasted only a split second before his anger returned and he looked at Jesper.

“I know” Jesper admitted, not moving his eyes from his girlfriend’s leg.

“Then look at me when-“ Kaz demanded.

“Look at you?!” Jesper scoffed shaking his head, “y/n’s hurt because of me, I’m not taking my eyes off her until she’s healed”.

Y/n pouted as she sighed, unsure how to help him.

“You two were to get the chest. That’s it! Then you come back bloody” Kaz stated looking at y/n.

To Jesper, he said, “and you gambled with the kruge I gave you I said to only use to purchase the chest!”

Jesper nodded, looking intently into y/n’s eyes, “I should’ve listened. We should’ve left when y/n suggested”

“Aye! Brekker, we got the chest did we not?” Y/n smirked, stretching her leg on the bed.

“And came back inoperable for at least a week” Kaz griped.

“At least two” Jesper corrected firmly.

Kaz raised an eyebrow at him, having spoken to Nina himself moments ago.

“Jes,” y/n shushed, “not helping. And Nina said one week”.

Looking back her way, Jesper gave her a pleading look, “two”.

Kaz wanted to keep criticizing them Jesper but even as mad as he was at the behavior, after watching the way Jesper looked at y/n, Kaz could tell he wasn’t going to be making that mistake ever again.

Y/n played with Jesper’s rings as he held her torso to his side.

“It’s not your fault” she reiterated for the hundredth time.

Jesper let out a loud sigh, watching her fingers spin the rings he donned.

“You had said we should leave. I should’ve listened” he admitted.

The scene had been playing over in his mind on a loop.

“You had an idea Jesper, and it would’ve worked if things hadn’t changed twice on their end” y/n said encouragingly.

Jesper stayed silent as he wished he could take her place.

He deserved to be the one with a gash in their leg not her.

“Jes, my beautiful baby boy, Kaz’s intel was wrong. You tried to adjust so we could still accomplish the task. You had no way of knowing they’d change things again on us” she pointed out, lifting his knuckles to her soft lips.

It was true.

Inej had just left y/n’s room after informing them that the auction had been cancelled moments before they’d arrived.

Allegedly because the seller argued for a better price for which to sell it to the auctioneer.

Then, the seller made a deal to wager the chest instead, in a bet he wagered against the auctioneer.

Through all of that, Jesper’s plan would’ve worked.

However, unbeknownst to them, the auctioneer/gambling den’s leader had staged one of their own employees at the tables to win it.

But, the seller too had arranged a ploy, intending for the box to be won by his true buyer.

Evidently whatever was in this box was not something one could legally sell or even auction off.

Not that Ketterdamn much less the bare ever stuck to the laws or legalities.

But, Inej found out the intended buyer was a high ranking merchant and therefore had to make it seem they’d stumbled upon the chest on a routine night of high stakes gambling in some abandoned part of the barrel.

“Doesn’t matter” Jesper mumbled.

“Jesper Fahey, come on now” y/n pouted.

“I let my ego get in the way and you- you’re hurt becau-“ Jesper rambled.

“Don’t you dare finish that Jesper “ Y/n warned, holding his hand tightly as she kissed his knuckles again.

“Y/n, just…please, you don’t know the underlying motive I had” Jesper remorsefully whispered.

“Which was?” She asked, letting him explain in hopes he’d feel better after.

“I wanted to impress you- and Saint’s! I just.., like I said, my ego won and I wasn’t thinking as clearly as I should’ve been. I should’ve been more focused on our safety. Your safety. But instead I was thinking about showing off to try and impress you. I’m so sorry y/n, I-“ Jesper mumbled, voice strained.

She pushed her tailbone into the mattress beside him as she leaned to sit up without moving her leg.

Y/n turned to look at him as he copied her movements with a mixture of confusion, fear, and sadness swimming in his normally comforting eyes.

She shook her head vehemently, grabbing his hands in hers.

“Jesper Llewellyn Fahey” she hummed and shook her head with a smile on her lips, “you, my dear, do not need to try to impress me. You already impress me on a daily basis. Okay? You’ve got nothing you need to prove; certainly not to me. I need you to know that”.

Jesper let a few tears trail down his cheeks, hitting her thumbs until she tenderly wiped them off before kissing both of his cheeks.

“I really am so terribly sor-“ Jesper began again, his arms locking behind her to hold her to him.

“Fahey, if you don’t stop apologizing I swear I will hide your ever so precious pistols somewhere in Kaz’s office” y/n threatened.

Jesper chuckled into her hair, kissing her ear softly.

“I like that sound” she hummed, snuggling into him, “are you okay now? This is over, hmm?”

“Two weeks” he spoke, playing with her hair.

“Ugh” she complained, “fine but only if you’re keeping me company during those two boring ass weeks”.

Jesper tucked her head deeper into his shoulder, as he held her, listening to her breathing to soothe any remaining negative emotions.

“Darling, I’m never leaving your side again” Jesper threatened sweetly, closing his eyes.

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theantonian · 1 year ago

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Antony's Loyalty and Friendship (Part 1)

He was pleasure-loving, hard drinking and his strong physique tolerated hard living. Although his social circle spanned all layers of society, he seems to have preferred low company and he is alleged to have been addicted to gambling, although Cicero, clearly biased, is our only source on this. It may have been his inborn inclination to carousel which led him to more often than not choose low company (Everitt 2002, 262) such as actors and courtesans. These friends may have influenced him easily; yet he also moved in influential circles such as that of Curio, with whom he shared a life-long friendship and who, probably, drew him into the gang of Clodius of the “young and incorrigibles”, and possibly introduced him to Caesar.

His choice of the wrong friends helped him to earn a bad reputation with his own class, but it made him popular with the lower classes. The common people thought Antony sluggish and impatient, although his careless immorality was widely popular:

What might seem to some very insupportable, his vaunting, his raillery, his drinking in public, sitting down by the men as they were taking their food, and eating, as he stood, off the common soldiers' tables, made him the delight and pleasure of the army. In love affairs, also, he was very agreeable: he gained many friends by the assistance he gave them in theirs, and took other people's raillery upon his own with good-humour. And his generous ways, his open and lavish hand in gifts and favours to his friends and fellow-soldiers, did a great deal for him in his first advance to power, and after he had become great, long maintained his fortunes, when a thousand follies were hastening their overthrow. One instance of his liberality I must relate. He had ordered payment to one of his friends of twenty-five myriads of money or decies, as the Romans call it, and his steward wondering at the extravagance of the sum, laid all the silver in a heap, as he should pass by. Antony, seeing the heap, asked what it meant; his steward replied, "The money you have ordered to be given to your friend." So, perceiving the man's malice, said he, "I thought the decies had been much more; 'tis too little; let it be doubled." This, however, was at a later time. [Plut. Ant. 2]

There is a dichotomy in Antony’s life-pattern: on the one hand, he lived happily among his soldiers, campaigning, tolerating hardships, living a rough and simple lifestyle, joking and being coarse-witted, while on the other hand he reveled in living in large mansions, such as the house of Pompeius, enjoying extravagance, luxury and pomp.

Sources:

Cicero, Philippic. 12. 13

Plutarch's Life of Antony

Eleanor Goltz Huzar, Mark Antony - A biography

Anthony Everitt, Augustus

#mark antony #marc antony #marcus antonius #history #rome #ancient rome #roman history #roman republic #roman empire #cicero #plutarch #philippics

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catholic-character-tournament · 2 years ago

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Round 2 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side A

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Rat

Literally like. Chuck himself has mentioned god in several showtapes. DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS VOICE ACTORS FIRING LETTER. the one who voiced him in the 2000s didnt know he got fired so he wrote a letter that was like “chuck has helped me see god more. religion and faith 🙏” yknow. its kinda like a fandom in-joke that avenger chuck (the one from the 2000s) is a christian/catholic

His VA is super catholic and hey i ain’t catholic but i do believe in a god and i do truly believe that that rat is going to heaven.

pizza. that’s heavenly.

Seeley Booth

He’s Catholic but also a gambling addict and falls in love with an atheist. They bicker often about his beliefs. The show should have done more to address (read: acknowledge) how his faith clashed with their child and cohabitation out of wedlock.

He just really pushes his spiritually on people but I think it’s safe to blame Fox for that

I love that he tries to help Brennan to understand his faith without forcing her into it or trying to make her believe it as well. King

bones is my copaganda of choice or w/e. hes so catholic it loops back around from obnoxious to recreating the birth of jesus christ when his child is born so its really funny. i have no idea how else to express it other than telling you that. hes just insanely catholic sometimes to the detriment of his otherwise mostly enjoyable character. one time they find a bloodstain that looks like the madonna and he crosses himself in front of it. is that anything.

#chuck e cheese #seeley booth #bones #cct polls #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls #polls #r2losers

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pansexualkiba · 1 year ago

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Well, let's get on with this. In no particular order:

MIRROR: I consider this the most benign, or at the very least the least debilitating. Monster A Go-Go is a truly awful film, and I never specified if the topic of conversation had to be extolling its praises. You may annoy your friends by talking about it excessively, though, so an easy workaround is letting them take the lead.

CROWN: Barely anyone refused to choose to remember Mother by Meghan Trainor or Hayloft by Mother Mother or whatever their hated songs are, but some saw that it would let them rediscover their favorites all over again. A good point. You just have to remember them.

TOME: Due to lack of space, I think my word choice confused some people. By "re-enact", I mean that you have to live through the plot of the movie Yesterday (2019) to the letter, except with Taylor Swift's music instead of the Beatles. This isn't a temporary gig, either, you're basically isekaied into the universe where you're Taylor Swift and also implied to be J.K. Rowling. So good luck to those people.

SWORD: This was not a part of the curse, but someone pointed out that casinos will throw you out if you win too much. However, what IS a part of the curse is that you cannot get ANY money that isn't won through roulette, and another important part is that the sword DOES NOT guarantee that you'll win. This is literally just a gambling addiction with extra steps.

ROSE: I only have this image to offer you, with the knowledge that only nine of these are explicit:

Also, do you wanna be known online as the Regice guy?

PAINTING: Everyone keeps treating these curses as like, a one and done deal, or a "oh this only happens every so often" NO BITCH THESE ARE CONSTANT. ALL YOUR MEALS HAVE TO INVOLVE A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MILK. Sure you'll think "Oh I already do this" no you do this on OCCASION as-is. Do you know how much time you'll be spending on the toilet? How incontinent you'll become? Have you considered that in the slightest? Enjoy your hair-trigger IBS.

VIDEO TAPE: I'll be real, THIS one was the jobber. I didn't expect anyone to pick this one because it sucks so bad. So shoutout to those who took the video tape knowing the risk. Seven days, or whatever.

NECKLACE: Everyone's choosing this one, going "Teehee this'll be sooooo quirky" or "I'm autistic so I already talk like this." No, I can guarantee you aren't talking like that. You're gonna be talking like this:

And no one will understand you. "But my native tongue isn't Akkadian!" I'm talking about the oldest form of your language known, as in Proto-Germanic type of old. To the one who said Malay wasn't that old, yes it is, enjoy speaking from the first century.

RING: Okay, so the point of this one was that you'll be pestered constantly by your family members about something they'll never get from you. This is one of those "slow burn" curses where you think you can handle it but it's essentially just a form of psychological torture. HOWEVER, it turns out that the people who flocked to this one also were the ones who were like, so vitriolically against the idea of a child that doesn't exist, that I think now that the real curse of this ring is that it reveals people who I would never want to be around, and would absolutely not trust around any child. So enjoy your jewelry, weirdos.

CHALICE: Let me break this one down for everyone who went "Oh I'm already short now I'm gonna be tall!" You say you'll be tall. You will insist that you're tall. You will not be. You will be the shortest person in the room, constantly. Everyone will treat you as the shortest person in the room. No one else will ever be as short as you, because everyone will always be at least an inch taller than you. And you'll go "oh I'm into that jokes on you" well what about everyone around you? This isn't one of those curses where everyone thinks they've always been this height. Some people are happy with their height. Some people don't WANT to be taller. They'll suddenly be taller, they'll no longer fit into their clothes, and yet you've done this to them for your own ego. Beyond that, can you imagine a six-foot baby? Yes, this includes EVERYONE. And yet, despite all this, you'll be insisting you're the one that's tall. Enjoy the cup.

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celticbarb · 9 months ago

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Book: Payton and the Passionate Partisan

Author: Anna Markland

Series: Highland Whisky Kings, #2

Length: 226 pages

Overall Rating: 5/5 Stars

Blog Rating: 5/5 Saltire Flags

Payton King is the middle brother as he and his brothers run a whisky distillery in the Scottish Highlands.This book follows the previous book where each brother tries to find a wealthy heiress to marry. Except each brother wants to find a woman they could also love and have a caring and supportive marriage too. Especially since their parents had such a dreadful marriage where there was only bitterness and spite, where they couldn't even stand the sight of each other! The saga continues with the second book of the Highland Whisky Kings series…

About 1808 where the hero travels to England, Spain and his homeland in Scotland…

Payton King goes to England, a place he truly detests and is quickly engaged to the English, Miss Jasmine Foxworthy. He does not realize she is as poor as a church mouse with a father who has a gambling addiction! He did not investigate her at all, he only saw all her attractive curves and he proposed, of course she thought this Scot was wealthy owning a whisky distillery. They are both going to be surprised after they both walk down the aisle and say their I do’s without any wealth. Now Payton is already starting to regret his choice of bride, realizing he should not have proposed to this girl just because she has a big bust! He is already regretting his choice of bride, realizing she never laughs or even smiles and does not seem very intelligent either, plus she seems very self centered and cruel to others too! Furthermore, no one in his family likes her-they pretty much think he is too good for this self centered Sassenach who doesn't seem to care about Payton in the least! Payton knows he could never live in England with all these Sassenachs and he knows she would hate Scotland, his country and the place of his birth that he absolutely loves!

Payton is now trying to get some space from his annoying and dislikable fiancé who only thinks of herself and no one else! For his elder brother Tavish, he decides to go retrieve some barrels of sherry that were aging in Spain for the past couple of years. He goes to war torn Spain with his cousin Kenneth Hawkins, the Duke of Ramsay who needs something else to focus on. Since his heart is breaking as the Scottish woman Catriona Neish who everyone calls “Cat” who owns his heart is in Scotland. Feeling he can't marry her because she is a commoner and he is a nobleman. Cat who is a very close friend of the King family, her heart is shattered by Kenneth, knowing she is not good enough for an English Duke who is a close family friend of Tavish, Payton and Niven King. She is also a book keeper for the family and keeps the distillery books in order for Tavish King. Kenneth and Cat is a secondary love story in this book.

Payton meets a Spanish girl, Alba Castillero who is a warrior and part of the invisible army in Spain. They are fighting Napoleon with his French army in the Napoleonic wars. She dresses like a lad for her own protection, as women are at risk in Spain. At first Payton thought she is not his type physically as she is very slender and petite. She is also half Scottish. They even named her after Scotland as her name is Alba which means Scotland in gaelic! Alba and her father have dealt with a lot of devastation and loss through this battle with the French. He sees how brave, protective, courageous and intelligent this female Spanish warrior is, who even laughs at his jokes and helps with her sherry distillery and soon they are like a moth to a flame and fall madly in love with each other. Except he is honest and tells her about his fiancè feeling he must be loyal to his word. He can't break his engagement as a promise is a promise even though he feels no love for Jasmine. He falls in love with Alba very quickly and she feels the same. His cousin Kenneth tries to convince Payton to break it off with Jasmine as it is Alba he loves, yet he feels it would be dishonorable as he made this promise even though he knows he will never love Jasmine and will love Alba forever! Payton knows he will never have the woman he truly loves and it destroys his heart and soul to love someone he can never have! Alba is absolutely heartsick, not able to have what she desires although he was very honest and told Alba the truth about his betrothal with Jasmine.

Now Alba’s father has asked Payton and Kenneth to bring Alba back to Scotland with them so she can meet her deceased mothers family. He also gives Kenneth a package and tells him only to give it to her if she ever finds a man to marry in Scotland. He wants his daughter to be safe and happy and to live a normal, long and happy life. Something that might not happen in Spain for a very long time perhaps ever. Of course they accept though Payton knows how difficult this will be for him as he only wants to take Alba in his arms and never let her go! It will be equally hard for Alba; she is torn as she doesn’t want to leave her father worried she might never see him again. However knowing Payton will be marrying and sharing his life with another just makes her miserable and heart sick.

Will Payton go through with a marriage to a woman he doesn't care for and leave the woman he loves? Will Payton have a marriage like his parents as he knows this marriage is doomed but can he end it when made a promise? Can Payton go through with this marriage to a vain, cruel, woman he does not love? Will he and Alba live forever with broken hearts? Will Kenneth wake up and smell the whisky, realizing that he should marry Cat, the woman he loves and not care what the snobs of society say? Read and find out if Payton and Alba or even the secondary romance of Kenneth and Kat find any true happiness in any of their futures? Do any of these couples have a chance at true love? Read and find as Anna Markland’s pens another dazzling story that readers will absolutely love and devour!

I love that Anna Markland pens true history with the Napoleonic War in Spain with the French and a fictional love story with more than one couple which I loved. Well Napoleon's rise in power won't last forever once the Battle of Waterloo occurs in 1815. I just love when true history and a fictional story goes hand in hand. This was beautifully done. I must give a well done to the author for writing a very beautiful story that readers will absolutely love!

Disclaimer: I received an advance reader copy from the author and publisher. I voluntarily agreed to do an honest, fair, review and blog. All words, thoughts, ideas are my own.

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i-cant-sing · 2 years ago

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hey i wanted to asks if you could do more of F1 race team owner Hawks please

Sparing some thoughts for Yandere F1 Dads Hawks and Dabi:

Keigo has his own race team, his company makes cars for these races, and Dabi, his husband races for him. Keigo spends a lot of time in his home office late at night, designing new cars that are faster and better equipped for Dabi. Dabi would join him in his office after putting you to sleep, helping Keigo out or just keeping him company sometimes, a cup of coffee for tye blonde and scotch for him. Their conversations often revolved around you, cars and dirty jokes, obviously.

Keigo wearing his designer 3 piece suits and forcing you into wearing team colours/Dabi's merchandise when he takes you to races to support Dabi. You're not super fond of tye tracks, but if it's any consolation, Dabj and Keigo make sure you have those big noise cancelling headphones on (the one they give babies). The only downside is that they still force you to wear the team costume and big headphones even when you're older.

The races are usually held in Monaco, the Richie rich city where there's casinos clubs everywhere. And youd think that your rich dads would leave you at the hotel and go to these casinos to have some fun. But no, since you're too young to go to these places(you're not, they just don't want you to suddenly become a gambling addict or meet the disgusting pervs that these places are full of), so they do more family appropriate activities with you. Like cycling dates, which would've been alright if it they weren't famous, so now everybody on streets is staring at you and taking pictures of you losing your breath and turning red and sweaty because you have low stamina, unlike your dads who are fit sportsman.

Dabi trusts reader 100%. He knows hes raised a good, honest, sweet kid- no, he raised an angel. It's just... everyone else that he distrusts. That's why he spends a lot of time in the garage building trackers that he can have Keigo sew in your clothes, bags, shoes. Keigo isn't completely on board with "tracking" your every move, but then Dabi always paints such a picture about what could possibly happen if someone gets their dirty paws on you and you're never seen again, leaving your dads wondering what kind of hell you're in. So, now Keigo is sewing in the trackers and hiring disguised bodyguards to keep an eye on you during school and whenever you're out in general.

Keigo cooking in the kitchen while Dabi helps you with your homework, having endless patience as he explains the same thing over and over again with the softest voice ever. Of course, Keigo brings in healthy snacks for you two, watching his two favourite people just... being themselves.

While Dabi helps with the academic side of your development, Keigo likes to spark your interests with different hobbies. He plays the piano, so he'll teach you how to play one, or at the very least, an instrument of your choice. And when music class is over, he'll have you help him with cooking, usually baking because you like licking the frosting off the spatula (just like Dabi). Keigo also encourages you to draw futuristic type of cars, and the blonde takes it as a challenge to make all your designs, however unfeasible they may seem, become real.

Thats not to say that Dabi doesn't do fun activities with you. He'll have you join him in the garage and teach you a lot of stuff as he works on his cars and engines- he'll make sure you know how to change your oil and tyres so that you don't need someones measly son (aka Bakugou) to change them for you and then hold it over your head. Dabi would definitely over for you to learn how to drive from him, but until you're old enough, playing car simulation video games with him will do.

When you first started dating Katsuki, whenever you would leave home, Dabi would have serious anger issues that he would take out on his cars as he destroys them with a metal bat or a wrench. But you'd never know that he's angry, because by the time you come home, Dabi is cool and nonchalant.

Keigo, while he pretend he's not bothered by you dating, doesn't cope so well either. He may have a happy, calm exterior, but when he goes to work, he fires like quarter of the company. He takes out his anger on other people, so that when he returns home, he can sigh and pretend he's much better at coping this news than Dabi.

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probably-an-opossum · 4 months ago

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I mean, it isn't about killing old people, it's about personal choice in Healthcare descisions.

To preface: I'm an anarchist. I don't believe the government should regulate personal choices in general. Health care descisions such as what pharmaceuticals available over the counter should be between you, your doctor, and potentially your pharmacist. Ultimately I think the government's role in this whole equation should be to make absolutely certain that the thing your pharmacist is handing you is what the package says it is. A doctors profession, optimally would be explaining these and other matters, in such a way that you actually understand. Then you should be left with whatever choice you want to make.

I believe that given the correct information, you should be allowed to make your own medical decisions, including decisions that others would deem unsafe, unhelpful, or unwise. This can and should include using, or in fact, abusing addictive drugs. Will this result in some people doing things that are, in fact, unsafe, unhelpful, and unwise? Sure. People already do unsafe, unhelpful, and unwise shit all the time. There isn't a law against 90% against all the stupid shit a person can do in their life, even if it will result in them becoming habit forming, or even kill them (for examples: gambling, drinking, anonymous free use sex, etc).

I also believe that one of the medical choices you should be allowed to make, is the medical descision to die on your own terms. I believe that if you are suicidal, you should always have the option of meeting with a medical professional to discuss the manner in which you want to die. You should be allowed the dignity of a quiet and safe death.

And finally:

Addiction is, in fact, a environmental condition. The risk factors for addiction, from the same article you posted, include but are not limited to: young age, socioeconomic status, race, untreated pyschiatic disorders, and environments that promote misuse.

All of the listed risk factors are associated with the environment of fear and stress that is being a minority in America. In countries where drugs are not only legal but easy to obtain, such as Portugal, nearly every factor a country can measure, such as overdoses, problematic drug use, drug addiction, cases and spread of hiv, etc, are all lower, per capita, than basically any other country. Turns out that when drugs are regulated but not criminalized, people self regulate to the point of not becoming physically dependent on their drug of choice. Like alchohol, tobacco, and caffienne, the amount of deaths associated with over use increase when it's use becomes criminalized.

Additionally to my finally:

The disease model of addiction is at best incomplete. Social models of addiction, that explore the reasons why a person self-regulates drug use when given the option, have always pointed to external stressors as being the nearly only determining factor in addiction. People who are allowed even 30 minutes outside in a natural space a day have a 60% reduction in problematic drug use. Please, think about what that means. What stressors affect your average chronic pain patient? How many? Why does race contribute to opiod addiction?

I will admit to trying to jump on to a joke, rather than writing a whole dissertation on medical choices and their application in anarchist theory. Old people should be allowed to take cocaine, teehee. Young people should be allowed to take cocaine too tho.

I think people over seventy years old should have unrestricted access to prescription painkillers. Not to take home or anything (they might get sold or stolen, although frankly I think pain meds should be less regulated in general and the fact that such a market exists for that is a sign that they're over-restricted in the first place) but like, they should be able to show up at the hospital and flash their ID and be like "morphine please" and have a nurse shoot them up then and there. Yes this is about my stepfather who had every health problem and finally became a tolerable human being after he was put on constant pain management medication but also if you're over 70 you know how your own body works and what pain feels like and frankly if you throw away your life to a painkiller addiction at that age (way less rare than the media would have you think, most "abusers" of painkillers are self-medicating *to manage their pain that they're not being prescribed enough medication for*) then all the more power to you.

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philhoffman · 2 years ago

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Happy Halloween from this week’s Monday Philm, which all about the scariest thing I can imagine: a guy who eats ribs without sauce.

Owning Mahowny (2003) is among my favorites and one of the most underrated movies ever. Even I forget about it sometimes — it’s so understated, nearly unprepossessing — but as soon as I hit play, I remember what a hidden gem it is. It isn’t loud and demanding or overly ambitious, it’s very personal and claustrophobic, grounded in the way it feels to be too close to the ground, deep in the hole you’ve dug yourself. Also, on this watch, I really heard the score for some reason and enjoyed the way it complemented the film.

One of Phil’s first leading roles, his performance as Dan Mahowny is layered, a balance between raw emotions and alienation — his stress and anxiety are practically visible, you feel the panic and disappointment he experiences, but at the same time he’s almost infuriatingly unknowable. Why does he do the things he does? It’s a frustration anyone who knows or loves an addict understands. This person, their choices, the things they say and do in the grip of their addiction — they’re a total stranger. Gambling is a particularly effective way to portray the ups and downs of addiction on film because (in addition to being less stigmatized than substances) the highs are so visible — money is universal, winning big is cinematic — and the lows are crushing and easy to imagine. It’s impossible to watch Owning Mahowny without yelling at Dan through the screen to just STOP, and that’s where the agony and tragedy is.

But also, this is such a funny movie. Some of the witty lines don’t work but overall they do, and I love that nearly every character (even the very minor ones) just say silly things and make jokes with each other? And Danny himself has the funniest deadpan sense of humor. “You think we have problems? Look at Mexico’s foreign debt.” I love that we get glimpses of his softer side and tenderness, which makes the difference so much clearer when he’s binging. It’s just impossible to get into his head when he’s gambling, there’s no rationality, no warmth. Oh where, oh where can my baby be? How can someone be so different?

Also he is so hot in this. Like Owning Mahowny is a top five, maybe even three PSH film on its merits anyway, but Dan himself is a top tier sexy PSH character. No notes.

#thighs.#the feminism leaving my body when he tells his gf's dad to make sure 'the little lady' gets home safe........#monday philm #owning mahowny #philip seymour hoffman #psh #*#the shower scene. he is the saddest little wet creature :(

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blankd · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on The Mitchells vs the Machines

I watched it a while ago and kept forgetting to post my thoughts on it, but some posts here on tumblr recently reminded me.

I disagree with the majority takeaways I see but is that not the spice of life?

As a standalone movie its inoffensive and the writing of it will likely exit my brain in a few months. However I can appreciate that the visual style was different from the typical fare and the mixture of 2d elements for visual embellishments were mostly enjoyable and well-suited for Katie as the POV character.

It's a bit "hyper" for my liking, but that's fine, it's likely intended for an audience that's accustomed to the flood that is the current norm of the internet. It was probably made with GIFable moments in mind and that is the most frequent content that is shared about it, so it certainly succeeded in that regard.

My more critical take is that jokes are delivered at the expense of what could be more authentic themes. Quips are made that draw attention to character flaws or undercut questions the movie should try to answer, but inevitably they are ignored to move onto the next joke or story beat.

The rest would fall more into spoiler territory, so read more for that.

--"They Were Both In the Wrong"

I personally disagree heavily with the thrust of how "both sides" were wrong when the degrees are disproportionate.

I've seen claims that Katie was "as in the wrong" as her father, but she's incredibly patient to the man who does her material harm.

I've yet to have seen someone say specifically what Katie did *wrong* to her father that is at all on par with the *years* he at best hasn't been able to interact with her or worse, actively refused to engage with her interests.

I would generously venture that her flaw was that she was more willing to communicate her feelings to strangers, but she easily talks to her mother and brother- her brother even helps her with her movies and she happily engages him with his own interests, which pivots the point back to how her father is physically/emotionally unavailable and led to the erosion and distance between the two of them.

Due to this, MvM comes across more as Kaite having to do so much more to guide her father rather than a more mutual learning experience for the both of them.

--"Technology that [Dis]Connects"

It's probably beyond the scope and intent of the film, but I was surprised there was no examination about why technology can be more alluring than interacting with physically present people.

For better or worse, the internet can be used as a means of supplementing the validation and acceptance of family. It can also lead to no longer connecting to people around them because of the validation high of appealing to a constantly 'awake' sea of strangers- the spotlight is warmer than the cold reality that they are not the internet image they have cultivated.

For example, the rival 'perfect' family was never revealed to be a carefully constructed highlight reel that Mrs. Mitchell envies, they really were actually that perfect- because that provides an easier punchline than an examination or acknowledgement of how the internet can create unhealthy expectations.

I also can't expect MvM to acknowledge the reality that LGBTA+ people who are rejected by their family resort to seeking a new one through the internet because it would be much harder to redeem/rehabilitate a man defined by being tethered to "old values" if he was homophobic instead of "overprotective" and apprehensive at his daughter's departure from home and her dubious art career.

But hey we got that quick line at the end that Katie likes a girl, so that's a diversity win or something.

(To be clear I'm not expecting a whole parade or even an A or B-plot dedicated to it, but I think it should be acknowledged that this kind of "surprise inclusion" is very easily erased with a change of audio and would be completely unsurprised if this were the case for countries that are homophobic. People can be happy about it, but it is dishonest to pretend that this is a bolder statement than it is.)

In that sense, I do and don't hold MvM to taking a "safer" route about how family always has your back, but this still feels like an important omission considering the focus on technology and its dynamic with the Mitchells.

I will also say that it was also bizarre, to me at least, that the obvious route that her father sees the value of home videos didn't become an active point between him and Katie. Or that Mr. Mitchell's carpentry never really amounts to anything despite having a sentimental wooden moose.

Lastly, I think it's an unintentional, but it's interesting that Katie going to college to pursue her passion is viewed as a Terrible Thing by her father even though if he had his way, he'd be ostensibly living in the woods away from everyone else except his wife.

This isn't a problem, people are a collection of contradictions, but It's fascinating to see what the *narrative* treats as a difficult sacrifice while simultaneously pulling at heartstrings when PAL cites how children ignore their mothers. There's an unexamined comedy that Mr. Mitchell's losing out on his 'passion' to live in the woods away from people is treated as tragic despite the movie's insistence on staying connected with your blood family.

--"The Inconsistent Personhood of AI"

PAL is rightfully angry at being discarded for something new; it's provided as a glimpse of what Katie will do when she finds 'her people' at college.

This in of itself is a good hook, because there is no one universal answer to when a flawed relationship should be mended with compromise or if it's better off being broken for the wellbeing of the ones involved. Family and relationships are not programming, it's a choice and a gamble for whatever it brings but is nonetheless something that must be mutually worked upon.

Initially I thought that PAL was being set up as an exaggerated parallel to Mr. Mitchell. PAL and Mr. Mitchell did their best to provide for their family. PAL and Mr. Mitchell are in different stages of being 'discarded' by their family. PAL and Mr. Mitchell both retaliate at their lack of power in the scenario by using the power granted by their roles to infringe on the autonomy of others for selfish reasons.

PAL even gives a 'chance' for her plan to be halted with, I had assumed this was being set up as the thesis of the movie, about humanity and the value of family, relationships, etc. being used to help someone who is already hurting.

But despite Katie looking at the camera and explaining herself, it is never actually directly resolved or challenged because a punchline was deemed more desirable for this narrative climax.

This begs the question of why PAL bothered with the pretense that she could be reasoned with, especially since this is not some question leveled at all of humanity, just two people.

I'm curious how the writers came to the conclusion that this was the best execution of the scene or if Katie's speech was considered immune to any challenge from PAL. Would anyone have accepted this outcome if PAL were not an AI but instead a person?

It's not necessarily bad writing they went this route, but I doubt anyone would consider this good writing either.

By the end of the movie, PAL is no longer a 'person' who was betrayed and is lashing out, she is an object to be destroyed because the movie has to wrap up. No compassion or chances are spared to this AI that did literally everything asked of her except take being discarded quietly.

Did PAL deserve a redemption arc? For this length of movie, probably not. But it could have concluded with a commitment to doing no further harm. Instead it is an accidental glimpse at how easily the pretense of compassion can be quickly discarded and mostly unexamined with the right framing.

A likely unintentional example is the conditional humanity given to Eric and Deborahbot who are adopted as "family" while the rest of the robots are mowed down without another thought. Some are even beaten and broken while begging for mercy, because again, it is a funnier punchline.

Far be it for me to advocate that the murderbots needed 'a second chance uvu' but for a movie whose conceit rests on 'sticking by family' and 'giving chances', the writers certainly made a choice in deciding which AI get honorary humanity and spared violent death- perhaps PAL had a point about humanity's callousness after all. Bad robots are discarded, good robots get to live.

Even the CEO who realizes he enabled this mess (easily the most unrealistic part of the movie, honestly) is given another chance and he manages to take away a completely wrong lesson.

Speaking of-

--"Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Used Tech Like This"

There's a particular image/gif set posted about MvM with the CEO apologizing for the machine uprising, attributing it to unchecked technology and monopolies. I've always seen it accompanied by people congratulating the scene as if any of this is at all relevant to the movie.

Charitably, these are people who haven't watched the movie and don't know that PAL is a phone AI single-handedly doing this, but most take the stance that this scene is proof the movie is not saying technology is bad, only corporations are.

The speech isn't technically wrong but it is so utterly divorced from what happens in the movie that it's surreal to see people congratulate it as anything but a moment of soapboxing.

None of the datagrabbing was used at all as part of the takeover. It's all magical kid-friendly terminators with no relevance to what anyone's browsing history is. If the company was one that produced robot assistants instead of a being a super tech monopoly, there would be no narrative difference.

The closest to a predatory tactic that is used in MvM is the offer of free wifi which is used to lure most people into their cells which they happily comply with. Curiously this... commentary of people’s mindless addiction to technology is not acknowledged by the Tumblr Court with the same intensity as the CEO’s speech.

But more constructively, I do feel it’s a missed opportunity that Katie who's supposed to be an extremely online person apparently never said any bad things about her family or made any petty vent films for PAL to weaponize. Instead an in-media audio at one of the outskirt locations was used to accomplish its Traitor Revealed moment.

IN CONCLUSION

MvM is a movie that involves topics that ought to be touched on and explored properly in media and chickens out on all of it due to possible concerns with age-appropriate handling or because it was more committed to its comedy than whatever it has to say about family, change and how technology affects people.

It also reminded me that I hope media will finally graduate from the trope that if you spec into any ‘outdoorsy’ hobby you are incurably afraid of technology.

#the mitchells vs the machines #let me ramble to you #text post #hot takes probably

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hellstenglow · 4 years ago

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Fiveya Meta: they need to talk

Endure me, I am on a fiveya-train and my thoughts don’t shut up.

After watching the most recent behind the scene videos of TUA season 2 we can conclude that they did make senseless choices in the plot because in some cases they had to. For example in the case of the snow storm created by Harlan in the final episode, that was added to the script because suddenly there have been a snow storm on the outside set the days before the scheduled filming and they couldn’t clean the place enough, in time for the recording. The snow was added.

I also think they could have written some of the characters better and given them real development (*cough* Luther, Ben *cough*). I wasn’t even a fan of the whole “Vanya lost her memory” thing, but I’ve read that Steve Blackman (the showrunner) doesn’t want to diverge from the original content too much (which is a bit silly to say since they did make major changes since season 1, but okay). I guess that’s why Vanya’s amnesia was still there, although they treated it differently. In the comics it was Mom-Grace who helped Vanya to find herself again and her own value, in the show it was Sissy who did it. I thought it was kind of a hint to the comics the fact Sissy resembled Show-Grace a bit (blond, kind and a mom). Did I think it was unnecessary to have a love interest for Vanya right after season 1? I did, but I justified the choice by thinking that the show wanted to give Vanya a taste of what real love (not like Leonard’s manipulative and abusive love) is supposed to be. I also thought it was a way to show how Vanya needs to stop clinging to the first person who gives her affection, attention and treats her with kindness. I hope she’d realize that and work on herself and family in season 3, first and foremost.

Even with the evident flaws I enjoyed season 2, especially because I decided to treat it as a passing by (detour/digression) chapter in a longer story. All Hargreeves siblings in the ‘60s tried hard to make a new life and ignored their actual life (Allison, Luther, Klaus) or had a convenient amnesia (Vanya) or focused on something too much to lose track of what matters (Diego). Everyone except Ben (who was not treated once again as a full character despite the apparent level up the PR promoted) and Five (who once again was running around in panic mode to stop an apocalypse). Remember Vanya saying, “New timeline, new me.” And Five replying “That’s NOT how it works.”? I may give the writers more credits than it is due, but I hope those two lines were some kind of meta messages for the more attentive viewers. Those two lines can explain perfectly season 2 to be honest.

Nobody can know how long a tv show would run, a fact that expose us to uncertainty. It’s always a gamble trusting writers and showrunners to deliver a good story, but all it’s fair game and one has only to accept it. I do not trust any of them, but I cannot help myself and still hope that they will not ruin everything. With all this said, let’s talk about something I think the show has to tackle in next seasons: Five and Vanya are two points of a theme that needs to be addressed and solved. They need to interact, talk and close their open theme together.

This is not a cohesive meta and I probably will lose myself in too many details, but I hope the message I am trying to convey will arrive. This is only my reading of the show and theories, so you can disagree. I just hope you’d find something interesting and maybe help someone to have a different perspective on what’s going on and where (I pray) the show will go. Here the points I will talk about, if you are in for a very verbose essay, please click on the “keep reading” button. Meanwhile I’ll wear my tinfoil crown and sip some margarita.

Five and Vanya are a theme

It was mean to be Ben

Why the Fiveya’s tension in S2 EP 7’s iconic scene is a symptom of something

I dare to hope in fiveya (at least until proven wrong)

1. We have a theme: Five wants to stop the apocalypse and Vanya is the apocalypse

It’s a twisted joke of the universe that the very thing Five is obsessed about in season 1 (the apocalypse) was caused by the person he trusted the most (“I’ve decided you’re the only one I can trust” - Five in S1EP1). The red thread that linked Five and Vanya can’t be more evident, that’s one of the reasons why I started shipping them. The family’s dynamic, the siblings’ relationships and bonds are equally important, they add layers and motivations to the story, but if we strip everything else and look at the core, we all know Five and Vanya are at the centre of it.

It’s not a simple coincidence that Five said “I’m the four horsemen”. At first, it’s just a funny line, because Five is drunk and he described himself as those fearsome figures (because he is the best assassin of the whole world and time. Death incarnated in his humble opinion). You don’t take him seriously when he said that line, you don’t pay attention to it.

However, later it gains a certain degree of truth. Subtly the show tells you that indeed Five is linked deeply to the “apocalypse” (Vanya), as much as the four horsemen (they are the prelude and the bringers of the end) are linked to the apocalypse (in the biblical sense). He lived it. He was trapped there for 45 years. He is obsessed with it. The Apocalypse is his business.

Timid little Vanya is the first person he looked for in the middle of the doomsday’s ruins and arguably his closest friend. On the first day of his return Five only have meaningful talks with Vanya. Five sought her to confide the horror of his memories and share the burden of the truth. He trusted her above everyone else. Then the universe made a laughingstock of him when it was revealed that Vanya caused the Apocalypse. Five didn’t know he was running towards her, despite wanting to go back to his family (her) all his life.

In the first two episodes of season 1 they made clear that Vanya and Five had an intimate bond in their childhood and still cared for each other after so many years, then the show proceeded to separate them until the finale. They tried so hard to keep them far away from each other during season 1 and we all know everything would have been different if they had time to properly talk, process their situation and find a solution together. Of course, the show didn’t give them that chance, otherwise the show would have ended in episode 3 and goodbye drama!

They did not confront each other in the end of season 1, they let Allison take that role because the show built up their connection as sisters and I didn’t dislike the choice. Did it work thematically? No, Allison has no connection with the apocalypse. That’s Five’s business. He didn’t confront Vanya, he let others take the lead in the most crucial moment and with no surprise the apocalypse still happened.

The other apocalypse in season 2 was still connected to Vanya and again Five ignored the cosmic signals and focused on dead ends. Despite knowing perfectly that the butterfly effect can come from any source, he didn’t even think about Vanya’s being the cause of the apocalypse again. Five should have listened Klaus when he suggested that Vanya might have been the cause. Funny how Klaus told him in S1 that he has an addiction and Five aggressively denied it. Funny how saving his family and stopping the apocalypse are always his top priorities, but Five still deny himself (for a reason or another) the time to confront Vanya (the apocalypse).

We have a theme waiting to be resolved: Five wants to stop the apocalypse and Vanya is the cause of the apocalypse. If Five does not confront Vanya the theme will never have a closure. It’s still open right now. It is still there, waiting to be picked up again. There is no resolution.

2. Vanya and Ben’s goodbye

The scene between Vanya and Ben was one of my favourites from season 2 and after pondering for a while I concluded that it couldn’t have been anyone else but Ben the one who helped Vanya in that moment. My theory is that the show will walk backwards the breaking points of Vanya’s life: Ben’s death, Five’s leaving and Reginald’s abuse.

Vanya is not fixed. How could she when she was barely Vanya in this season? “New timeline, new me” she said, but that was just a convenient escapism mechanism. Years and years of mentally and emotionally abuse don’t disappear in one week. The Hargreeves have still a lot to process and resolve, individually and as family. That’s why I hope the show will progress the story in the right direction and actually work on them in season 3. Especially Vanya, who needs to confront her trauma. That’s why the scene with Ben in episode 9 was necessary.

From Vanya’s book:

[…] Our everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad had [...]-pped into treating us like experiments. Not as children, but like animals. And what happened to Ben was the last straw that finally shattered the illusion for the others …

Ben died long time ago and his death was the last straw that shattered the illusion (for the others) that their father cared about them (even in his own messed up way). Everything changed from that moment and each sibling drifted away from one another after that. Ben’s death was the moment Vanya and the rest of her siblings stopped being a family. The definitive step of Vanya’s alienation from her siblings.

There was no place in the group for her. With Five’s absence and Ben gone (he is a caring brother, with Klaus is like that and I can imagine him being kind to Vanya in their childhood too. Although, Ben is not Five and we have seen him being harsh to her in the flashbacks in S1EP10), Vanya was truly lost.

The tearful and important moment between Ben and Vanya was a reverse moment in my opinion. Vanya needed that from Ben, his death heavily influenced the course of her life (everyone’s life) and it was only fitting that Ben should have been the one helping her to start again. It’s symbolic in a sense, but also very factual.

“Sorry that I left without saying goodbye” – Five, S1 EP2

“At least this time I can say goodbye.” – Ben, S2 EP9

I’m using my fiveya-goggles, but we all thought that what Five said in S1EP2 (when Vanya tried to find him at Hargreeves’ mansion) wasn’t just about him leaving her apartment. It’s a very specific line that works on double levels: text and subtext. The subtext of course refers to the day he run out the house and time jumped. I highlighted these two lines from Five and Ben because I think they share the same theme: leaving her without saying goodbye.

Vanya wasn’t on mission with the team when Ben died, and I doubt she even saw his body (or whatever remains were left) when the Umbrella Academy returned. She didn’t even see his manifestation during the Icarus’ fight, too focused in her own power. The scene between them in Vanya’s mind gave both the opportunity to make amend of untold words and missed moments.

Ben is dead, he is the one he cannot return. His departure is permanent, there is nothing they can do about that. However, they can have a closure. Ben needed to be the one first patching to mend Vanya’s relationship with her family, to remind her that she does belong. This sort of second death (finally move on into the Light) has more meaning than the first one, this time Ben completed the mission. He saved someone he loved (he couldn’t stop Klaus from destroying his life with drugs and alcohol) and could trust his siblings to take care of the rest.

I still think Ben didn’t need to die-die, but in a sense it was time for him to move on into the light. He was afraid to go on, but if he could move on so his siblings. It is time for Vanya to move on her own trauma.

(Yeah, I know. I still have problem with the scene because they erased canon in a way and Ben could do a lot more as character. They erased the fact drugs stop their powers like in Klaus’ addiction and Vanya’s pills, so how Vanya was able to use them under LSD? I tried to explain that to myself by the fact “they needed to bs that canon fact in season 1 and ignored it”.

We can also argue that Ben could have prevented the apocalypse in 2019 by doing the same thing, but in their defence S1-Ben didn’t know he could possess a body. Yeah, how did he do that without Klaus’ power help? No idea, that doesn’t make sense to me either. Ahah. I just swam with the flow at that point and accepted it as it is. Call it the power of superpowered siblings’ love. I’ve seen worse plot holes in my life. I can live with this).

3. Pass me the knife, there is some tension here!

From Vanya’s book:

Though prone to arrogance and outbursts, even more than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidante in the years before he disappeared. It almost seemed fitting […] the siblings to leave us, it would be him who [I fully?] […] who fully trusted me.

I said that Vanya’s walking backwards her life’s breaking points. So, after Ben’s death, she needs to address Five’s leaving. Five was her only confidante in the years before he disappeared, as she wrote in her book. Five was very important to young Vanya (and old Vanya needs to remember that) and I bet when he left, that was a scar never healed.

Vanya missed him and hoped for his return, for a while she kept the lights on in the house every night and prepared for him his favourite sandwich. When Five did come back Vanya couldn’t process that fact properly in season 1, all she could think of was that she didn’t want to lose him again. Five on the other hand decided that he would save everyone on his own and for that choice he made a bunch of tragic rookie mistakes.

Miscommunication is their kryptonite and right now Vanya and Five aren’t able to fully communicate at the same level. Reggie did such a good work at parenting that they’re so unfit to deal with their emotions and relationships, that will always be the root of their mistakes.

Same story in season 2, meanwhile Vanya is on the verge to provoke another apocalypse (although indirectly), as usual Five was too obsessed with his own plans and was not even aware of the situation. He knows nobody is insignificant when it’s about altering the timeline, but he always ends to focus on the wrong lead. The show again did incredible summersaults to avoid the two to interact properly and when they interacted things still didn’t work for a reason or another. She didn’t remember her past, he was not entirely sincere with her. She wanted to start anew (having a family with Sissy, easy-peasy), he is trapped again in a run against time to save his family. They are still not at the same page and for the show that is convenient. They still can play with their open theme (my point number 1 in this meta).

I don’t blame Five in S1 for thinking that if the worse happens, they would need to kill her. I think he was in a very delicate state of mind in that moment, he didn’t have time to process the fact Vanya (his favourite sibling and we all know she is his favourite) caused the end of the world. It was disappointing and cynical, but time was ticking fast, and he had been in his “maniacal-panic” mode for almost eight days. I also think he wouldn’t really kill her; he was the one who convinced the others that they needed to take her with them in the time jump. They need to “fix her” (aka help her to never feel alone in the universe and prove her we do love her) or they’re going to make the same mistakes again and again.

Just to be clear I think if Five wasn’t one day from the end of the world and in a rush to stop Vanya, he would had had the same reaction as Old Man Five in S2. His 14-days younger version take it very well “Fair enough” he said and then proceeded to tell Luther how to save Vanya, no mention about killing her whatsoever. Old Man Five had time (10 days more than our current Five) and a direct clue on how to stop the apocalypse (thanks Luther). Nobody was going to kill Vanya.

“Vanya will always be the cause of the apocalypse, unless we fix her.” - Five S1EP10

“Vanya is the bomb. She will always be the bomb.” - Diego S2EP8

Vanya is the bomb and she will always be the bomb unless she heals. A fact that can be added to my number 1 point in this meta, there is an open theme and they need to tackle it. Five and Vanya need to confront each other and resolve it.

This takes me to S2 EP7: the iconic stare-power stand between Five and Vanya. THE TENSION was real, and you could cut it with a butter knife. The first time I screamed at my screen, I felt like Gordon Ramsay in one of those episodes of “Kitchen Nightmare US” when someone finally serves him good food.

Of course, the immediate reading of the scene is that Five needed Vanya to come along and Vanya didn’t want to go because at that point these Hargreeves are still strangers to her (amnesia is so convenient), Sissy and Harlan are the ones she knows and loves in that right moment.

They were still able to cut each other with sharp words and hostile glares though. Five let her have what she wanted, not because he feared her, but because as usual he cares more about her feelings than what he would ever admit. It’s the second time in S2 he let her go, his soft spot and favouritism for Vanya was showing once again! *fakes surprise*

I think the tension shown in this scene is a symptom that Vanya and Five are on the verge of something they will (they have to) confront soon or later. This is the subtext reading I came out with.

Even if you don’t look at it with shipper goggle, you feel there is something going on. They let the viewers feel there is a sensitive something whenever these two have an alone scene together. All their alone scenes have a specific grade of intimacy, they made it clear since the scene in front of Five’s portrait. They care for each other, they love each other (sibling love, platonic love, we-could-have-been-something love etc…) and it’s there. However, Five left and Vanya never truly recovered from that. They didn’t process that fact and I truly believe they can’t move on until they heal that scar.

Basically, S2 EP7 Fiveya’s scene = We have to talk, but this is not the moment because the show is only on its second season! THIS TENSION IS HERE FOR A REASON.

4. Hope is the last thing to die

I shouldn’t trust a show, I’ve been disappointed so many times in the past years and showrunners of popular shows tend to be unoriginal and cowards. However, I am an optimist at heart and until season 3 I dare to hope anyway. If proven wrong, there are always fanfictions who can do better job than canon.

If all was lost they could have eliminated Alluther too from the universe because of certain fans screaming “harcest is incest you weirdos”, but Allison and Luther’s situation still exist and still work on the parameter “will they or not”? I imagine for their shippers it was annoying to have such a regression in season 2, but they didn’t destroy it and they still gave them scenes.

Fiveya had even a more subtle situation than Alluther but they’ve been granted the same level of intimate interaction whenever they have an alone scene together. Until Five (the character) will gain an older body (which he can) the whole thing is suspended. However, I think they wouldn’t have been open about the possibility of Five changing back to an older body and spoke about in season 1 if they didn’t have an idea for that.

I brushed off the line Five said to Old Man Five about being forever trapped in his 13-years-old body. It’s canon that there is a way to gain an adult body for Five, the Commission has the technology and even if it’s not the Commission they can mambo-jambo the thing in a way or another. That would never work. The actor is a growing up teenager and from season 1 to season 2 he has already changed. I imagined he will change even more before season 3 will ever start recording (maybe very late due the COVID-19 situation).

Aidan is a fan favourite and I am one of those who can’t see anyone else playing Five, with this said there are still ways for the show to give us fiveya. Young fiveya flashbacks will be always an option to explore the idea of “they had a crush on each other when they were young” and make other viewers understand that it wasn’t all “sibling” love between them. Endgame in a distant season can always have an epilogue with an adult Five (another actor I mean) having a very non-platonic (let adult Fivey kiss please) moment with Vanya, meanwhile building up the longest slow-burn (kinda, deep down I believe those feelings for each other are there) of the century.

Maybe I am wrong, maybe my tinfoil crow is too tight, and my brain doesn’t breathe. Maybe the show will succumb to easy paths and angry bullies. I don’t know, but until proven wrong I dare to hope.

PS: This is a monster of a meta and it probably doesn’t make sense? I hope someone will get what I’ve tried to say. I hope you survive, brave readers. Here a glass of margarita for you. I’d love to hear what you think

#fiveya #five x vanya #vanya x five #my meta

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tiggyloo · 2 years ago

Note

Jokes aside, full disclosure. While I absolutely agree with that post 100%, I (obviously, if you see my screenshots and vids) spend money in CRK (and also Ovenbreak every now and then but usually it's no more than the one dollar daily rainbow cubes package once in a while).

The difference though is that it's not to gamble, and I'm not spending money I can't spare

What I buy are the passes and sometimes other special limited decor packages. These things give me stuff that actively helps me and CONTINUES to help me, along with a lot of other useful items. Something I got from a pass three years ago still gives me bonuses at this moment. Etc etc.

That being said: if you're "bad" with your money, if you don't have a lot, if you know that you're more susceptible to gambling things, Do Not do what I do. Because it will start with a few bucks here and there and turn into that gambling addiction.

It starts with five bucks, then ten, then twenty, and before you know if you're spending 100s or more every month. And especially in the CR games you have to be careful, because there's new characters coming out CONSTANTLY. And usually the new ones are the meta. It WILL trap you if you aren't fully aware of yourself.

But just the same, these games are extremely F2P friendly. Ovenbreak even more so now. Crystals are so easy to come by, and they consistently give hundreds to thousands out to everyone for free very often. Spending money in these games is very much a CHOICE and not a requirement. Just be careful and know your weak points.

Reblogs that with a CRK pfp XD /j

OKAY LISTEN

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abizarreyodelingincident · 5 years ago

Text

Ridiculous Optimization: The Art of Finding the Right Tool for the Wrong Situation

Chapter Five: THE INFINITY WARDROBE

Three dances.

He could do this.

He hated that he had to do this, but he could. The taste of alcohol on his tongue, its burn at the back of his throat... they were tempting, but he knew better than to rely on them. He never tasted any that he hadn't seen served himself, and in a function such as this one, it meant he had only ever carried a single glass throughout.

His lips pinched together, remember the last time he'd forgotten to keep a close eye on his drinks.

A cold grip closed over his guts. Nope. He shouldn't go there. Not the right time. Every notable noble in the kingdom was watching his every move.

Warriors had busied himself teaching his brothers how to best deal with the nobility at his Queen's gala for the past two days. He could say he was proud of Hyrule's and Wind's progress in particular. Neither had had much manners or interest in them before and not one lady had fainted from their crude or frank behaviors. He also had to admire Four's control in accepting the few pinches on the cheeks he got for being so fun-sized.

I'll give him a bigger part in our next plans of attack. That's a ton of resentment to vent. Whatever monster we face next will be very dead.

“And I was just telling our dear Hero Link here how-” Lady Farosi bragged to Lord this and Lady that and Warriors carefully agreed at all the right places.

He used to like these things. Used to be proud of his role.

'It's you! All this time, the deaths, the battles, it was all because she wanted you !'

Three dances. He had given the first one to Zelda, of course. No one could ever protest that choice of partner. The Queen and her knight. The most important figures in the War of Eras. A splendid couple, though he could not tell if Zelda felt any attraction towards him, the way he...

Warriors shook his head, made an excuse and stauntered to the buffet table, under which he thought he'd seen Legend hide. Two more dances. Then I'm free to leave. Hide in the stables. Play a game with the guards or maybe pay back Twilight for our last match.

He offered Sky a smile when his brother offered him a plate with some meat skewers and a piece of cheese. His stomach protested the very idea of food at the moment, but he appreciated the thoughtfulness. He forced himself to nibble on some of the cheese. It gave him an excuse not to talk to Lady Lanayrou. To dodge her attempt at linking their arms.

Second dance will be soon.

He scanned the crowd for a proper candidate that wouldn't be draping themselves all over him.

General Impa met his gaze over the crowd of mingling nobles, and his desperation must have shown on his face for she scowled something fierce at him. Right. Sheika. Security detail. Not the kind of person that should be on the dance floor.

With a sigh, Warriors resigned himself to letting whichever lady found him first have first right at a dance with him. Hopefully they'd listened if he said-

“Hey,” said a slightly off woman's voice, “do you think you could show me the steps?”

Warriors froze.

A slim, pale Hylian in a turquoise gerudo outfit stared patiently at him. Scars peeked out from under a tasteful veil that hid their chin, mouth and nose, leaving only startling blue eyes. He knew both the veil and the eyes.

Oh.

His gaze flickered down to the extensive network of spider web scars on the sides of the Hylian's torso. The outfit left little to the imagination. It was on full display.

For a second, he struggled to breath, realizing the extent of his brother's action. Warriors needed to apologize so damn much!

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes and he hurried to blink them away, taking the offer with as much gratitude as he could show his brother. Together, they reached the dance floor, and Warriors barely noticed the few times his feet were stepped on. At this point, Wild could stab him and he'd be thankful. Just swaying to the rhythm of the music and making jokes at the expense of the obnoxious people around them was one of the best dances he ever went through.

And then, someone reminded him just where he was.

“Who's this pasty ruin?” Lady Dynral loudly whispered behind her hand fan.

Twilight, who had just previously been attempting to convince a fair maiden that he was mute, tragically incapable of dancing and awaited in a backwater hut where he'd forgotten to turn off the stove, froze.

(It was no secret that Twilight couldn't quite pull off the neutral look of disappointment patented by the old man. It was a decent attempt, but they all had earned the original too often for the off-brand version to work.)

(What he could however pull off was the deadly stillness of a predator stalking a prey that had been just too loud. Eyes that promised death. Eventually.)

The chill alone made hair rise on the back of Warriors' neck and he was barely in the general vicinity of the lady. Now that was some killer instinct. The blatant bloodlust made his chest pang with nostalgia.

Goddesses he'd take another war over this...

However, seeing Lady Dynral's face drain of blood like this filled him with a singular vindictive happiness.

“Never seen Lady Dynral flee a function this fast before,” Warriors chuckled, twirling Wild at the tip of his arm for another round. “Our farmer's got your honor' back, huh?”

The veil hid Wild's face, but not the curious look in his eyes, nor the faint tilt of his head. “He cares about you too,” he said, softly. “We all do, Warriors.”

Warriors couldn't speak with such a soft feeling warming his chest. Wild's fingers squeezed his hands, then let him go. The others all gave him subtle thumbs up throughout the crowd, encouraging him to stay strong in the face of this battle. Dozens of skirmishes flashed behind his eyes, memories where he stood back to back with them, brothers-in-arms before the forces of evil.

(Sky found him another plate, which he did eat this time. Twilight patted him in the back strong enough to make him stumble into a lord, and wasn't that a shame. 'Ah, my mightily sorries, your lordness!' and Hylia alone knew how he hadn't burst out laughing at that one. Wind subtly hinted at the possibility of skedaddling mid dance if things were needed. 'I can fake illness like you wouldn't believe, War'.')

Third dance. And he had to admit, it looked like it wouldn't be so bad. Wild's assurance and the others' support made it feel smaller than before. He only needed to dance one more time, and he had had fun at a function for once...

Warriors almost felt serene when the bards on stage began plucking at their instruments' strings.

“Announcing... ” one of the guards near the door suddenly shouted, grinding the activities to a halt, “Princess Lore-al of Koholint!”

“What the f-?!” Wind's attempted swearing mercifully was stopped short by Sky's hand covering his mouth. No one even looked their way.

But Warriors deeply understood the sentiment.

The dress was impressive. Cut from the finest fabric, maybe enchanted silk, white with golden accents, and a gentle pink layer in the style of old royalty. Twenty or so rings, gold, silver and platinum, adorned the newcomers' fingers. Some inserted with gemstones, other carved with hylian runes.

Warriors really wanted to know where he'd gotten the tiara. He could have sworn...

Unlike Wild, Legend hadn't bothered with hiding his face. Or transforming it with make-up. He seemingly relied entirely on his natural twinkitude. And the lack of his ever present scowl that softened his looks considerably.

Amazingly, the haughty, confident expression on Legend's face wouldn't have been out of place amongst royalty. His absolute lack of shame as the rest of the ballroom stared did more for his credibility than an actual magic spell would have.

Warriors felt he ought to laugh, but he was too shell-shocked to do so.

Legend strutted, on high heels, right up to him, finally deigning to meet his eyes as if they were meeting for the first time.

“May I have the honor of this dance, Brave Hero?” Legend offered his hand, which Warriors contemplated like he would the head of a particularly vicious and hungry dodongo.

A long series of excuses came to mind, ranging from needing to go iron his wolf and thinking he heard Ganon call his name somewhere. Wild was one thing. Legend though? The veteran gambling addict would extract so many favors out of this...

Of course, Legend had to raise an eyebrow like he was challenging him to a game of cuccos and Warriors' entire being tossed caution to the wind in a resounding, mental fuck it .

With all the assurance of a chosen hero of Courage, he snatched a tulip from some of the nearby decoration, bit down on the stem and winked. “The honor shall be mine, Princess Lore-al.”

The musicians noticeable hesitated before starting to play again, and Warriors would have bet that his Queen had subtly instructed them to go on as normal.

The lascivious beat of a tango resonated around them. Legend's smirk widened, his eyelashes batting. “A red rupee you can't lift me one-handed over your head, Brave Hero.”

Despite himself, Warriors grinned. “You're on, Princess.”

BONUS

“So... where was the old man tonight?” Wind asked as they made their way back to their suite in the guest wing of the castle. “Couldn't find him.”

Hyrule frowned. “Wait, seriously? You didn't notice him? He was really obvious.”

Wind exchanged a glance with Sky and both came to the same conclusion. “What?”

“He was standing next to some of the really snobbish nobles all night. Just looming. Like when he's really pissed at our collective stupidity. They kept glancing around like they were wondering.”

The Links exchanged glances, mulling their recollections of the evening and arrived to a collective conclusion.

“Bullshit.”

Hyrule gave them an uncertain look.

“Was it the mask?” he mumbled, suddenly unsure. “You guys noticed the freaky grayish purple mask, at least? Like, it hid his entire face, but that was still clearly him, body type and stance and all.”

They turned toward Twilight, who shrugged. “Magic?”

They agreed, Hyrule especially. “Magic.”

A few steps later, Wind broke the silence again.

“... So the old man spent the evening just putting the fear of evil spirits in the nobility?”

Warriors snickered.

“Sounds like him, alright,” Twilight drawled.

DOUBLE BONUS

“You know...” Sky mused, his hands stilling over the piece of wood he was carving. “Maybe I should just ask Zelda to make it Hylian law to never hold balls.”

Four frowned and looked at Time. “Wouldn't that unraveled, you know, the fabric of time and space?”

Time shrugged, looking quite relaxed sitting by an old tree.

“Oh, right,” Sky mumbled, now hesitant.

Warriors fell on his knees. “I'd give you my firstborn, Sky! Please!”

Legend huffed. “Well, now he's gonna have to make those officials.”

Four put a hand on his forehead. “Does that count as a paradox? How many of those have we caused actually?”

“I meant Sky being straddled with Warriors' spawn, but sure. Tons of 'em.”

“HEY!”

#Linked Universe #Linkeduniverse #Lu Warriors #Lu Wild #Lu Legend #RO:ART

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