#also fuck you ross geller you are not on this list

[toadtoru]

i love you jim halpert, i love you ben wyatt, i love you jake peralta, i love you awkward fictional sitcom men who spend four seasons desperately pining for the same woman

[mtvswatches]

Friends 2x08 The One With The List

Previous Recaps

In a nutshell: Everyone finds out about THE KISS. Chandler buys a laptop. Ross writes a list. Monica works for Mockolate. There’s a lot of staring at the rain out the window while U2 plays in the background.

Chandler: Chandler gets a new laptop and he’s obsessed, and honestly? Same. He then comes up with the idea that Ross should create a PROS/CONS list for both Julie and Rachel so that he can decide who to be with… because that’s exactly how all matters of the heart should be decided, right? To Chandler’s credit, he feels terribly sorry for coming up with the idea of the list and for not thinking on his feet and preventing Rachel from reading it (not that she didn’t deserve to know, but she deserved to have her feelings spared, you know?)

Joey: Joey’s solution for Ross’s conundrum? Threesome. But he’s the biggest fangirl once Ross breaks up with Julie and Rachel shows up at the apartment. I always loved Joey’s softer side.

Monica: Monica gets a job for Mockolate, creating Thanksgiving recipes. It’s a somewhat “comic” – in the “I know this is supposed to make me go haha” sense – relief in the midst of all the Ross-Rachel drama. Mockolate doesn’t get the FDA approval in the end, but Monica earns her pay anyway. And she also probably got some side effects.

Phoebe: Ross asks Phoebe to play a song in order to defuse the awkwardness of the situation - Julie showing up at the coffee shop, oblivious to the fact that her boyfriend had been smooching with Rachel the night before. Phoebe then played the iconic song “Two of Them Kissed Last Night”. HE MUST DECIDE.

Rachel: Rachel shares her excitement with the girls about THE KISS. Her exhilaration quickly dwindles, though, as she sees how A) Ross is still with Julie and hasn’t either told her about them nor has he broken up with her, and B) Ross hasn’t called her. Ross was already making her question her own worth. In the end, Ross kind of made up his mind, and Rachel is so happy that he’s going to get her coat, and then she sees the list on the computer (how contrived was the way she had to parade herself all through the apartment in order for her to face the computer and read what was on the screen? Why didn’t they just leave the computer on the kitchen counter? Did the computer have to be next to the printer, is that why?) And then the printer starts working. The boys try to distract her, but it’s too late, she saw her name there and she needs to know what it was about. Rachel OBVIOUSLY outsmarts them, and ends up reading the list. Kind of ditzy. Too into her looks. Spoiled. Just a waitress. Ouch. She’s disappointed and hurt, and rightfully so. To this day, Rachel words still hit close to home:  “Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.” There’s no worse feeling in the world than having someone you love spew at you the most awful things you think of yourself but try to convince yourself are not true – when they say those things, it’s confirmation that they’re true, and that you’re not good enough. I applaud Rachel for standing her ground and not letting Ross walk all over her. But it’s painful to watch her be so heartbroken.

Ross: I see how the contrast they showed between the girls and the boys reacting to Ross and Rachel’s kiss is supposed to be funny, but who are we kidding? Ross would actually act like one of the girls. This is the guy who has been holding a torch for the same girl SINCE THE 9TH FUCKING GRADE. Am I really supposed to buy that he would just be: “oh yeah I kissed her, tongue, yeah”? REALLY? He’s been DREAMING about this moment for YEARS, literally. I’d say he would be a tad more excited, right? While he is excited about the prospect of being with Rachel, he is still very much in a committed relationship with Julie. They were about to get a cat, remember? And this is the episode where Ross’s “Nice Guy” schtick starts to show. He says he feels all torn about it, but if he truly were, he would’ve told Julie what happened the previous night. Instead, he continues to pretend everything is okay with Julie while making Rachel feel like the other woman. He was the one who came back to the coffee shop, remember? He was the one in a relationship, who shouldn’t have cheated on their partner, right? Anyway, Ross follows Chandler’s advice to compile a list comparing Julie and Rachel. And while it is sweet how Julie’s biggest con was that she was not Rachel, the whole comparison thing is simply despicable – especially considering how quickly he came up with the list of flaws for Rachel. Eventually, he does the right thing – sort of – and breaks things off with Julie. Goodbye, Julie. You won’t be missed, but you were a nice girl who deserved much better than Ross Geller. Ross thought he could have his cake and eat it too, but Rachel did not want anything to do with him after reading his list. He then climbs into the girls’ balcony, with a list of all the things he loves about Rachel. Which would’ve been an amazing romantic gesture. You know, if he hadn’t written that other list in the first place. There’s no convincing Rachel, though. Ross reasons that if things were the other way around, there was nothing she could’ve said that would make him not want to be with her. Which is 100% unverifiable. There’s no way to know he would’ve been so mighty. Actually, considering how petty he can be, I’d wager he wouldn’t let it go, but whatever. His argument is proven invalid, though, when Rachel argues that she would never write the list in the first place. Ross gives it one last shot – he sends a song request to a radio show, with a message for Rachel.  But not even the radio host is on Ross’s side.

One Iconic Scene:

Ross and Rachel’s first break-up in front of the whole gang.

Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[oblivi-ace97]

Alright so my post about Why Ross Geller is a Horrible Human Being has been getting a lot of attention lately, so I finally got around to finishing season 2′s list. 

Without further ado...

Reasons Why Ross Geller is a Horrible Human Being

Season 2:

Episode 1: The One with Ross’s New Girlfriend

·       When he is on the phone with Julie they do the whole “you hang up no you hang up” thing. (this isn’t really something that makes Ross horrible but this is annoying as hell)

Episode 2: The One with the Breast Milk

·       Freaked out when Phoebe and Joey drank Carol’s breast milk and when they asked what the big deal was he replied with “but it’s BREAST milk.”

·       Said breast milk is gross

·       Only tried it when he found out that Susan had tasted it

Episode 3: The One Where Heckles Dies

·       He makes a big deal about Phoebe not believing in evolution (like just the way he reacted and would not let it go)

·       Phoebe asks why can’t she believe in one thing and he believe in another and Ross says he can’t (and then Phoebe calls him out on his need for everyone to agree with him and it was great)

·       Literally brings fossils as evidence to show Phoebe that evolution is real (let it go Ross)

Episode 4: The One with Phoebe’s Husband

·       N/A

Episode 5: The One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant

·       Ross makes the comment about never thinking about money as an issue.

·       When Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel get uncomfortable with the fact that Ross, Monica, and Chandler bought them all concert tickets he says, “ Could you be less enthused?” and “We’re just trying to do a nice thing here.”

·       “I don’t understand it’s like we can’t win with you guys.” Said when Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey express how they feel about the concert tickets

Episode 6: The One with the Baby on the Bus

·       N/A

Episode 7: The One Where Ross Finds Out

·       When he finds out that Rachel has feelings for him he gets mad at her for telling him

·       He asks her why she told hm now and nor before he met Julie and Rachel tells him that she didn’t realize until he was in China that she had feelings for him

·       Rachel points out that for a year he never said anything to her but he says that Italian guys and her ex-fiancé got in the way (it’s always someone else’s fault isn’t it Ross)

·       Stares at Rachel through the door of the coffee house like a creeper

·       Kisses Rachel when he is in a relationship with Julie and was just telling Rachel how he is happy with Julie

Episode 8: The One with the List

·       Just casually mentions his kiss with Rachel to Joey and Chandler like her doesn’t even care that he kissed a woman who wasn’t his girlfriend

·       Now he is all torn between Rachel and Julie

·       Makes a pros and cons list about Julie and Rachel (what the hell Ross)

·       Says Rachel is spoiled, ditzy, and too into her looks. He also says that Rachel is “just a waitress”

·       Then they only thing he says about Julie is that she’s not Rachel (then why, pray tell, did you start dating her?)

·       It is super awkward when he tells Rachel that he broke up with Julie (for me at least)

·       Tries to hide the list from Rachel

·       When Rachel sees the list and asks Ross what it is he responds with “Okay, just remember how crazy I am about you. Okay?”

·       Aks “is this over yet?” when Rachel is hurt that he said she was just a waitress

·       Climbs up the fire escape to Rachel’s balcony after Rachel wouldn’t buzz him in

·       “I know how you must feel.” Shut the fuck up Ross

·       “I want to be with you in spite of all those things” who Ross you really know how to woo a girl

·       “You know if this was the other way around, there is nothing that you could put on a list that could ever make me not want to be with you.” That is complete bullshit and you know it Ross

·       Gets a radio station to dedicate a song to Rachel “The next one’s dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel he wants you to know he’s deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes that you can find it in your heart to forgive him.” Dude that’s not gonna work you need to actually talk with her and acknowledge that what you did was a dick move. (shout out to radio host for stopping the song once Rachel called and told them what happened)

Episode 9: The One with Phoebe’s Dad

·       Seems annoyed that Rachel is still upset about the list

·       Pushes Rachel to make a list about him so she finally lists off some cons about him and he is hurt about the things she said

·       He continues to obsess over the things Rachel said (one of the things she said was that he is obsessive)

Episode 10: The One with Russ

·       This has nothing to do with Ross specifically, but in this episode Monica is dating “Fun Bobby” and they all realize that he has a drinking problem so Monica talks to him about it and he decides to stop drinking. So obviously he is going through withdrawal and there was probably a reason, like depression or anxiety or something, that caused him to start drinking in the first place and Monica and the others start complaining that he is boring now.

·       When Ross meets Russ (okay the plot of this episode was so stupid) he doesn’t like him solely because Russ is Rachel’s date

·       “I didn’t know we were seeing other people.” Oh my god Ross you were never seeing each other

·       Starts telling Rachel about a woman who works at the museum who likes him and he has been “keeping her at bay”

·       Is mad that Rachel is dating someone

Episode 11: The One with the Lesbian Wedding

·       Is clearly uncomfortable that Carol and Susan are getting married “as in I now pronounce you wife and wife?”

·       “I don’t get it. They already live together. Why do they need to get married?” shut the fuck up Ross

·       I will give him this, it is his ex’s wedding and he doesn’t have to be there if he feels weird going but deep down you know he is more uncomfortable with the fact that his ex-wife is marrying a woman.

·       Ross walks Carol down the aisle (like I kind of get it since Carol’s parents said they wouldn’t go to the wedding and Ross had agreed to go because of that but I still think it’s a little weird) when they get to the end of the aisle and Carol tries to go to Susan, Ross holds her back

·       I will give him this, when Carol told him that the wedding might be off because she was upset about her parents not coming he said that he agreed with Susan that they shouldn’t cancel the wedding because their wedding is for them not her parents. Susan thanked him at the end of the episode and they danced together (probably the only genuinely kind moment between Ross and Susan)

Episode 12: The One After the Super Bowl: Part 1

·       When the zookeeper tells Ross to meet him in the nocturnal house, Ross responds with, “Hey look I don’t really enjoy being with other men that way.” Why is that the first thing that pops in your head Ross?

Episode 13: The One After the Super Bowl: Part 2

·       Ross and Joey make fun of Chandler when his date left him in the bathroom in nothing but her underwear. They even look over the stalls so they can see him.

·       They also refused to give him any of their clothes so he could leave.

Episode 14: The One with the Prom Video

·       Ross takes a message for Rachel but when he finds out it’s from a guy who might want to ask her out he hides the message in a cabinet

·       Talks about how he and Rachel were so close to getting together but he doesn’t understand what happened. Ross you hurt her with that stupid pros and cons list that’s what happened.

·       Ross and Monica make fun of the bracelet thing Joey gave Chandler.

·       He is once again getting all possessive of Rachel

·       Drives the guy Rachel was talking to away by saying he was responding to her ad and they had a date

·       After the guy leaves Ross says “you’re welcome” to Rachel, and says he was “saving her”

·       Rachel tells him, “We are never gonna happen okay, accept that.” And Ross says “Except that what?” he knows what she said he is just being an ass

·       The whole thing when he was gonna take Rachel to the prom is kind of creepy since he was in college at the time.

Episode 15: The One Where Ross and Rachel…You Know

·       Rachel is obviously nervous about being intimate and he doesn’t seem to care and he gets annoyed that Rachel keeps laughing

·       “The moment’s gone.” You know what Ross this is kind of a big step for the two for you and Rachel has a right to be nervous and you easily could have gotten back into the mood but you are just being an ass

·       Quick little off topic thing – anyone else creeped out by Monica and Richard’s relationship? I always thought it was creepy.

·       When Ross hears Monica has a date he keeps asking her who with even though she has told him no one (ok I know I just mentioned that I don’t like Monica and Richard’s relationship but like come on Ross respect your sister’s privacy)

·       I would just like to point out that Rachel is very understanding when Ross has to go to the museum to fix a display or whatever (keep this in mind for later)

·       How did Ross not get fired for having sex in the museum?

Episode 16: The One Where Joey Moves Out

·       Of course Ross is one of those people who hates tattoos.

·       He asks Phoebe all the cliché questions like “Why would you want to do that?” “Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life?” “What if it doesn’t come out right?”

·       Thank god for Phoebe and her telling Rachel that Ross isn’t the boss of her.

·       Ross you do not own Rachel’s body and she is allowed to get a tattoo is she wants. I get so mad at the way he asks her “You got a tattoo?” he sounds like he’s about to reprimand her.

·       Then he pulls a complete 180 and is totally on board because he thinks the tattoo is sexy. I can’t with him.

Episode 17: The One Where Eddie Moves In

·       Rachel had accidently dropped a slice of apple pie in someone’s hood and when they were leaving she asked Ross to get the pie out of the hood. He acted like a mentally ill patient so they guy wouldn’t think it was weird.

·       Ross takes forever in Monica and Rachel’s bathroom. I get it Ross you spent the night there so you’re going to get ready there the following morning but respect the other people who live in the apartment.

·       Mocks Monica with an irritating voice when she asks him if he cleaned his hair out of the drain.

·       Monica was taking a nap and Ross was talking loudly on the phone.

·       Monica got a call from someone while Ross was using the phone (for nothing important) and tells the person that Monica is there but to call back later. He didn’t even right down a number so Monica could call her back.

·       Monica gets another call from her mother and Ross tells her it’s Richard so she ends up embarrassing herself.

·       He and Monica are acting like children fighting over the TV.

Episode 18: The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

·       Asks Rachel how many guys she’s been with and when she mentions Paulo he calls him a “Weenie”

·       When Rachel tells him that she’s so much happier with him than she was with Paulo because she and Paulo didn’t have a relationship it was just meaningless animal sex Ross gets upset

·       Ross, Rachel is with you calm down

Episode 19: The One Where Eddie Won’t Go

·       Rachel read a self-help book (or something like that) and when she tells Ross that he’s stealing her wind which he seems annoyed by.

·       “How do expect me to grow if you don’t let me blow?” Ross thinks she is talking about giving him a blowjob and he tells her that he doesn’t have a problem with that.

Episode 20: The One Where Old Yeller Dies

·       Ross has Ben for the weekend and Carol and Susan have gone away. Ross is trying to get Ben to say “Dada” but he hasn’t, Ross says he is going to tell Carol and Susan that he did say it because Ross is that petty.

·       So Rachel gets freaked out when Ross mentions that he thinks about their future together (like he had planned out how many kids they are going to have and where they’re going to live) and she tells him that right now she likes not knowing what the future has in store and that he needs to respect that. He then tells her that she needs to respect that he isn’t going to stop planning their future. So basically, he just said I know you asked me to stop but I’m not going to.

Episode 21: The One with the Bullies

·       When the bullies are trying to take the couch in the coffee shop for the second time, Ross, in a very whiny and irritating voice, tells on them to Gunther. I just found this super annoying.

·       “How long does a cup of coffee take?” Ross and Chandler are trying to rush through their coffee break so they don’t have to see the bullies and they are rushing their poor waitress.

Episode 22: The One with the Two Parties

·       I may be reading too much into this but when Chandler was giving Rachel a comforting hug after talking about how she’s upset about her parents getting divorced, Ross comes out into the hallway and he gives Chandler a look.

Episode 23: The One with the Chicken Pox

·       Just dumps Rachel on the couch and says he’ll met her upstairs because she has closing duties to do at the coffee shop before she can leave with him

Episode 24: The One with Barry and Mindy’s Wedding

·       When Joey tells the group that he is up for a role where he has to kiss a guy, Ross says, “You’re an actor just suck it up and do it.”

·       At Barry and Mindy’s reception, why is Ross sitting with Rachel at the head table? He isn’t part of the wedding party.

·       Rachel asked Ross not to give a speech and he does it anyway and it just made things worse.

In season 2, we start to see Ross’s possessive side (it just gets worse as the series goes on). But this season is mostly just him being a complete asshat.

[youknownnothingjonsnow0303]

Ships of the decade:

My little list of ships, this is personal, is the list of ships that marked my teenagers days and the beginning of my young adult life.

1. Gendrya: Arya Stark & Gendry Waters (Game of thrones)

My babies are number 1 because they own my ass. I’m their bitch. Im in love with them and they are perfect. Thank you Maisie and Joe for the amazing job you mad, thank you to the beautiful people in the gendrya fandom for making this ship fun. Also, fuck you D&D.

2. Hinny: Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter)

My OG OTP, they were my obsession,my introduction to fanfiction, to fanart, to ship... everything. Even tumblr. I love them and my queen Ginny deserves all the happiness in the world. Also, long like book!hinny.

3. Peraltiago: Jake Peralta & Amy Santiango (Brooklyn 99)

They are perfect. One of the healthiest ships on the television right now. I love their dinamic and they are so pure ❤️ everyone should see B99.

Yes, I choose that gif because Lin Manuel Miranda is there.

4. Chelanor: Chidi Anagonye & Eleanor Shellstrop (The good place)

Babies, they deserve an eternity being happy. They love each other so much, they are so different but they learn so much and they have grown so much TOGETHER. Soul mates ❤️

5. Omander: Omar Shanaa & Ander Muñoz (Elite)

I COULD TALK HOURS ABOUT THEM. LET THEM BE HAPPY. I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM. I ADORE THEM. THEY DESERVE AN HAPPY ENDING AND TO GROW OLD AND HAPPY AND BEING GAYS DISASTERS TOGETHER. LET THEM BE HAPPY.

6. fitzsimmons: Leo Fitz & Jemma Simmons (agents of shield)

Ok, I stopped watching this show almost two years ago but I still follow this nerds. I love them, they complement each other so much, I love their dinamic and how they work together. I love their transition of friends to lovers. I don’t know what’s going on on the show but I hope they are happy and in love and I ship them... hard.

7. Finnichel: Rachel Berry & Finn Hudson (Glee)

... I still crying about this. I loved them. I still haven’t get over Cory’s death.

8. Sansaery: Sansa Stark & Margaery Tyrell (Game of thrones)

I MEAN. they are THAT power couple. Strong girls, loving each other, they are my endgame. They are pure. They deserved love. Thank you to everyone how gives me this couple on their fics.

9. Mondler: Monica Geller & Chandler Bing. (F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Another friends to lovers but I think that this is one of the realest couples I have ever seen. The healthiest couple in friends, who cares about Ross and Rachel if you have this power couple there?

10. Jalice: Jasper Hale & Alice Cullen (Twilight)

THIS IS THE ONLY TWILIGHT CONTENT I WANT IN MY BLOG. Bella? Jacob? Edward? I don’t know them.

[aschen-kiln]

Character Tag 10 favorite female characters

I was tagged by @ellanainthetardis​ !

Rules: List your 10 favorite female characters, one per fandom, then tag 10 people. Well, i won’t tag 10 people, because i don’t interact with that much people here. 

Mass Effect – Liara T’Soni

« Embrace eternity. »

She went from pure and naive to cold-hearted bitch before becoming a little mix of both that gave me life when i was younger. She remains my favorite LI of the whole saga (including Andromeda) and, even when she is not romanced, Liara is one of the most loyal friend Shepard could have. Plus, she is lethal. And blue. What’s not to love. 

Game of Thrones –  Sansa Stark

« I am a Stark. Yes, I can be brave. »

This fandom gives so much good characters, it was hard to choose, but Sansa won. She was everything i dislike in a character : shallow, oblivious and stupid. But this girl has hidden dephts : she is compassionate, resilient, actually freaking smart, and she manages to keep her empathy despite everything she goes through. She has the best development, both in books and in show (even if i don’t like her line about the little bird she’d still be without Joffrey/Ramsey/Baelish - that’s bullshit). And she is my Queen.

Game of Thrones – Cersei Lannister

« Look at me. Look at my face ; it’s the last thing you’ll see before you die. »

OKAY I CHEATED SO WHAT ? What are you going to do ? Nothing, that’s what. So ! EVIL QUEEN AT ITS FINEST. There are not that much well written evil character but THIS ONE is one of them. She deserved an end as epic as her life so, i’m not going to continue in this line of thoughts BUT. You know. What I mean. Fuck you D&D. Love you, Cersei. You rock.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Willow Rosenberg

« The magick i used is very powerful. I am very powerful. And maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to piss me off. »

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be like Willow. She is a witch, you see, and i wanted so badly to be a witch myself. She has the most magnificent hair, she is smart, and beautiful, and so freaking powerful, guys. She could have become an arrogant bitch or stayed a discreet nobody, but no, she became the badass sidekick to the most badass Slayer, and she still manages to stay deeply human, with her failures and her weaknesses. Her heart is made of the purest gold, and she has balls of steel : being the first lesbian character in a show targeting teenagers, at that time (90’/2000) had to be difficult, but she showed the world that it was okay to be different, and that being different did not mean being less. Her love story with Tara was, is and will remain one of the most beautiful in this show (and i do love Buffy/Spike). Plus DARK WILLOW. And you CAN’T tell me Vampyr!Willow did not give you the hots. I will call you liars. 

Charmed –  Piper Halliwell

« Sometimes, the best thing you can do is take a step back a give yourself a chance to breathe. »

While the war was raging between Prue and Phoebe and then Pheobe and Paige for Best Halliwell Sister, my heart always went to Piper. Firstly because she was discreet, level-headed and a hard-working girl, and I respect that. Plus, she is a cook, guys, and i love eating, so it was a match made in heaven. AND, last but not least, she is a witch. I love witches guys. I want to be a witch. I want to be THIS witch, most specifically. Anyway, her powers are both destructive and defensive – honestly, SHE CAN LITERALLY MANIPULATE MOLECULES GUYS - she is the true head and the heart of this family, she has her own club, a devoted husband who loves her so much it is almost painful to watch and adorable children. And she does all of this without becoming crazy. I stan.

Star Wars – Leia Organa

« Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper ? »

Princess/General Organa, everyone. I don’t even have to explain myself, do I ? That woman does not take shit from anyone and slap back with all her might. We gotta respect that. Make way for the queen.

Ewilan’s Quest / Ewilan’s Worlds – Ellana Caldin

« Il y a deux réponses à cette question, comme à toutes les questions : celle du savant et celle du poète. »

Ellana is a secondary character from a french saga, and the primary character of her own trilogy, written by late Pierre Bottero. She is an icon of feminism. She is an assassin and a thief, yes, but a Marchombre is so much more than that, it is actually difficult to describe it. You have to read it to understand. Even if the whole story is too manichean for my taste, now, Ellana remains the best character. She does not bow to the laws of men, and her honor is paramount. Her honor, her word and, most of all, her freedom. 

Jane Austen – Elizabeth Bennett

« I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine. »

Here is a woman who values mind over beauty, consistence over money, love over security. If Ellana was my role model as a pre-teen, Elizabeth was my absolute goal at 15. She is witty, prideful but can accept it when she is wrong, and no matter how society views her, she remains true to herself. And that’s what makes Darcy fall in love with her. Yes, guys. Here is a woman who literally headbutted him and, as he fell on his ass, he also fell in love. Yes. You can’t change my mind on this.

Harry Potter – Minerva McGonagall

« Have a biscuit, Potter. »

Not only is Minerva powerful, brilliant, just and fair and loyal to a fault, she is also SNARKY. Plus, come on, she transforms into a cat. Ans she chew Umbridge on a daily basis. That’s a true hero if you ask me. All hail the true headmistress of Hogwarts !

Friends – Monica Geller Bing

« But we only ordered one ! »

She is beautiful, down to earth, completely insane but still manages to be the most reasonable of the six. She is a cook. I love eating. That’s a match. She married Chandler, i wanted to marry him too, so there’s that. AND she kick Ross regularly. Let’s be honest, we all want to kick his ass.

[purplesurveys]

625

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? This is usually me between 1 to 4 AM lmao. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No, I’ve never subscribed. When I still collected magazines I’d buy them at the mall, but we never use the subscription leaflet thingies that they’d insert inside. How many websites do you have an account for? Too many to count honestly, but I regularly use around over 15. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? I’m part of Spotify and Netflix memberships but I pay for neither. Gab lets me use her Spotify which is paid for by her parents. :(( and my dad pays for our Netflix family bundle. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? No, it’s so time-consuming and uncomfortable. I have a good idea of how my body is built anyway so I just pick up pieces I like and buy them.

Have you seen The Blindside? I tried watching, but it was so unbelievably boring and I never finished it. What's the best movie you've seen this year? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Do you know how to fire a gun? No. I’ve never held a real one, ever. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Take my dog and hide somewhere. Idk, I have a feeling the neighbors would be pretty unreliable so I don’t think screaming for help would do anything. I’d rather stuff taken than have anyone get hurt. Have you played the Sims 3, yet? I’ve never gotten to play it, no. What's your favorite type of pizza? I will always order quattro formaggi and nothing else.

Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. My favorite branch is Yellow Cab, but I don’t have a favorite independent pizza place. What are you afraid of? Just because I recently got three injections to the roof of my mouth and it reminded me of my fear of these: needles. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yeah. It was very scary for me while it was happening because it was with my best friend, and there was always that chance of our friendship crumbling if I tell her how I felt. Fortunately it didn’t go that route. How do you let someone know that you like them? I like to be straightforward and just tell them I like them. Have you ever asked a friend to ask someone else out for you? No. Who'd you last see in a tux? In any context, Ross Geller from Friends. In real life, it’d probably some dude in BGC since a lot of people there dress fashionably. Were you sad when Tim Urban got sent home on American Idol? I remember the name, but I don’t remember being enthusiastic over him during that season. I didn’t dislike him either though; I guess he was one of the contestants I didn’t particularly keep an eye on.   What about Jason Castro, 2 years ago? He was good but I didn’t like his genre, so I wasn’t too devastated when he was eliminated. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? My mom did this for us once with a movie that was premiering on the Disney Channel – Jump In – but otherwise, recording shows was never as popular here as much as it was in like the States. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? I hate having to pronounce the words beautiful and bureaucracy. Would you rather take a shower or a bath? Bath. I get to do it much less often, but I also find it infinitely more relaxing. How many times do you shower in a week? At least four and at most six. What brand's your cell phone? Apple. Have you ever sexted? In the past. Haven’t in a while though.

How many contacts do you have? I have...too many contacts to count manually. It doesn’t help that at one point, Gabie’s contacts synced to my phone as well so now I have a bunch of her numbers as well. I’ve just gotten too lazy to delete them this whole time so they’re all still just sitting on my contact list. Do you have your own computer? Yep, I’m using it right now. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? If you’re talking about kindness, Laurice. If you’re talking about ambition and passion...I’d say probably Tina and Bryan. Who's the bravest person you know? Not so sure about that. I think everyone I know is all scared in their own way lmao. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? Gab, of course. And she has been having my back. Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? First of all, dumb word choice. Second, no. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? I think we all did these for each other back in high school minutes before algebra period. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? Back in high school, I guess Gab was a little sportsy. I know she played softball and before that, basketball. She isn’t much into sports these days though. Are you any good at writing? I can write mean essays and research papers, but you can’t pay me to come up with a poem or short story. What's your favorite form of writing? I like learning and picking up new info more than anything else so I like reading educational stuff in a Wikipedia-like format, honestly. I’m not sure how else to describe that haha. What do you think about Lil Wayne? The autotune is a little weird but other than that I don’t really care for him. Lil Wayne Vs. Eminem...?? :S Probably Lil Wayne? Eminem has his fair share of problematic lyrics over the years and Lil Wayne has just always struck me as super chill lol. Have you ever given up on someone before? Sure. Did you end up regretting it later in life? Never. I tend to give people so many chances to get better so once I finally cut them out, it just means they’ve fucked up enough for me not to regret finally giving up on them. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? Yes. Have you ever read Shakespeare? I had to read Shakespeare in high school. R&J for freshman year, Merchant of Venice in sophomore year, Macbeth in junior year, Hamlet in senior year. How come no one knows what MGMT is on here? Sorry to make you feel worse but I had to Google that too just now. What did you dream about last night? Nah, I straight up passed out last night. I was too tired. Have you ever looked up the meaning to a dream? Sure, especially if the dream was a nightmare. Have you ever tried to change someone? No, I don’t think I’ve done this before. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn't wanna change? That’s a pretty deep question, but I’m not in the mood to dive in much so I’ll just say it’ll always be a different reaction from person to person. Do you thnk that anyone currently has a crush on you? Other than my girlfriend, I doubt it. What profession do you admire the most? Those that have to deal with ALL KINDS of people, honestly. Servers, cashiers, salespeople in stores, grocery clerks, etc. Mad fucking respect. I’m sorry for the boomers and Gen X people who flip out over the smallest things, babies who spill shit everywhere, customers who nag way too much, and for all the Karens and the Barbaras of the world. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don’t think I ever did this. What's the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn? World doesn’t stop for your grief. What are you wearing right now? I am wearing the blue dress I wore out today because I am too lazy to change. Do you miss your ex? No ex. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they are a dick and if they are loud, because most of the ones I’ve encountered tick both of these boxes. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. I still do these days. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why? Money. We have more than enough and I’m always grateful, but it’s a very human thing to always be wanting more of it anyway, and I fall under that tendency as well.

[suburbantimewaster]

Most Hated Characters

This is a list of characters I hate because they’re poorly written, not because they’re written to be hated.  So Joffrey from Game of Thrones is safe.

Ross Gellar (Friends): Where to begin with this guy.  He obsessed over a girl since high school and, when he gets together with her, acts like a possessive douchebag to the point that he doesn’t like Rachel going to a work lecture with a colleague.  Then complains about her actually having a life outside of him when she gets a career in fashion.  Even though, earlier, he didn’t like that Rachel was just a waitress.  Not to mention his misogyny, where he refuses to hire a male nanny who was qualified in every aspect expect for being a man.  Then makes a huge deal about Ben playing with a Barbie doll.  Not to mention that he whines and whines about every small thing that goes wrong in his life, even though a lot of them are his own fault.  People who complain about the live-action Jafar being too whiny seriously need to take a look at Ross Gellar, the king of whine.

Dawn Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): While I absolutely love this show, and Buffy Summers is my hero, there is one thing I would desperately change about this show and that is Dawn Summers.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved her whole key arc in season 5 but, in season 6, I just wanted to strangle her.  She complains constantly about how Buffy doesn’t spend enough time with her because she has to work at a crappy job to support her.  Which, if Dawn hadn’t purposely flunked her classes, Buffy wouldn’t have had to quit college and get anyway.  Dawn regularly does stupid stuff, such as accidentally inviting a vampire in the house, and we’re supposed to side with her because “she’s just a kid.”  Other than being the Key, this girl contributes nothing to the show.  They should have just killed her off in season 5 instead of introducing that stupid plot hole just to keep her.

Every Single Character in the Big Bang Theory: That’s right, I hate them all.  Sheldon for being a whiny spoiled brat, Leonard for being an entitled “nice guy,” Howard for being a perverted manchild (the latter staying even when he married Bernadette), Raj for being a whiny douchebag, Penny for acting like an entitled alpha bitch who mocks the guys’ interests even though they’re scientists and she’s a waitress, Bernadette for being an evil bitch to the point of making Howard give up his Tardis (I’m never forgiving her for that), and Amy for being every bit as evil and manipulative as Sheldon, even though she’s supposed to be the one that suffers.  That’s right, everyone in this show has done something that makes me want to throw my shoe at the TV and my mom and I continued watching it just for the sake of completing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I watch many sitcoms where the characters are insufferable douchebags, such as Seinfeld, but the difference is that the writers embraced the douchebags and rolled with it.  Not try to make us sympathize and say that they’re good people deep down, which they’re not.

Ahmed (Thief of Baghdad): Okay, I did like his storyline in the beginning about how he learned not to trust his Grand Vizier Jaffar (the one Jafar was based off of) and how he went out into the world but, after that, everything interesting about him goes out the window.  Throughout the movie, all he does is whine about his nameless princess and how he can’t live without this girl he knew for all of five minutes and who he met by breaking into her garden.  The first time I watched the movie, my thoughts were “My God, shut up about your stupid princess already.”  Is it any wonder that, when the movie was out, so many women wrote to Conrad Veidt saying that they would’ve chosen Jaffar over Ahmed any day?

Jack and Kate (Lost): That’s right, I gave Jack and Kate an equal spot.  I’ll admit, Jack got cool at the end when he was all about the island but it doesn’t make up for seasons of bad writing we had to sit through about how everything on the island doesn’t make sense.  Jack, you live on an island with a giant smoke monster and you saw your father’s ghost.  The laws of reality are being severely challenged for you.  Also, you had no proof that not pushing the button wasn’t going to blow up the island and you were willing to risk everyone on said island just to prove that you were right.  Not to mention all the pointless flashbacks I had to endure starring you, such as that stupid flashback about the tattoos.  It couldn’t have been something he did in medical school when he was drunk, it has to have some super special significance.  Kate, on the other hand, started out cool but quickly became disappointing.  You had a hardcore criminal on the show and her major plot was her stupid love triangle between Jack and Sawyer.  Her reason for killing her stepfather (actually her real father) wasn’t because he was abusing her but because he was part of her.  Seriously, what the fuck?  She forces herself into the final climax by shooting the smoke monster, even though she had no personal conflict with him, and she wanted to get off the island, despite being a wanted criminal.  I know some people have to want to leave the island, but you have to give them a legitimate reason.  Wouldn’t it be more interesting if Jack wanted to leave and Kate wanted to stay, giving them a conflict that didn’t have to do with the love triangle?

Wesley Crusher (Star Trek: The Next Generation): The very character who started the trope Creator’s Pet, which used to be called The Wesley.  He was the irritating boy genius that was smarter than everyone, even the super smart robot.  Wesley played around in Engineering on duty, seeing how he could boost the sensors.  When Data asked how I was asking why.  He’s forced into the plot just to prove how smart he is, one time being given command of an entire project filled with older and far more experienced officers.  He’s the only one who figured out that Data was Lore, even though it was super obvious to the point that a 5 year old could’ve figured it out, but everyone else was taking their stupid pills so that Wesley can look smart by comparison.  Even Will Wheaton himself admitted to hating the character of Wesley Crusher.  This is how NOT to write a boy genius while Peter Parker from the MCU is a great example of how to do Wesley Crusher right.

Neelix (Star Trek: Voyager): Words cannot describe how much I hate this stupid alien.  He was supposed to be the breakout character of Voyager, a combination of Odo and Quark, and he came off more like Michael Scott on a starship.  When he wasn’t incessantly bugging Tuvok, who made it very clear that he wants to be left alone, he was making adjustments to recipes no one asked him to make adjustments to.  Neelix also forces himself into situations where he’s not wanted or needed, such as insisting that he be part of the security team.  Not to mention his possessive jealousy over Kes makes Ross Geller look like a supportive boyfriend.

Connor (Angel): Meet the son of Angel and Darla that nobody wanted.  He’s an unlikable bigot who tried to kill Angel and, even though he was misled, wouldn’t even consider that he was wrong.  Then there was that whole Jasmine arc where he knew all along that Jasmine was evil, but went along with it anyway.  At no point does he try to help Fred, who’s been there for him and cared for him, and he screws over not only the Angel crew, but everyone on Earth because he went along with a lie.  Supposedly it was because it was “the best lie he’s ever heard,” but if that’s supposed to make me feel sympathy for him, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  He got less annoying once Angel rewrote his memory.

Lana Lang (Smallville): I have saved the best, or worst, for last.  Meet Lana Lang, Clark’s love interest who’s so amazing and strong, even though we never see evidence of either of that.  All she does is get captured, have various stalkers declare their undying love for her, mope about her dead parents, who died before she could even remember them and was raised by a loving aunt and makes Clark mope about how he can’t be with her.  She’s supposedly running the Talon (the coffee shop), even though she’s in high school and has no business training whatsoever.  So many men declared their undying love for Lana Lang, it was ridiculous.  This small town nobody had more stalkers than Lex Luthor, and he was the heir of a wealthy entrepreneur.  Later on, she gets tougher by learning martial arts in the span of one day and ends the show by getting navy seal training.  Then we have to have this whole sad scene about how she and Clark can’t be together because she sucked up kryptonite inside of her.  Though, when they were together, she wasn’t really a great girlfriend considering that, when Bizarro replaced Clark, she had to be told by Chloe that her boyfriend’s an imposter.  When Lana leaves the show for good, you’d think we’d get a break from it but no, we have to hear over and over about how amazing Lana is and how no one can ever dream of matching up to her perfection.  Every time people talk about what an unbelievable Mary Sue Michael Burnham from Star Trek: Discovery is, I want to show them Lana Lang.

[urwarriorangel]

<3 urwarriorangel’s writing challenge <3

hello my darling angels! i have started a writing challenge because i want to read more of what you write. i’m calling this a challenge because that’s what i’ve read others call it? rules are listed below! all submissions will be read by yours truly and (if they follow the p basic rules) i will post them all on a masterlist! i will reblog them and give you feedback because that’s what should happen regardless and also i love you guys! (gif not mine!)

rules

*no rape/incest/underage sex/etc.

*if you choose to write smut, you must be 18+!!! the characters you’re writing for must be 18+!!

*must be character x reader! you can write for multiple characters, but it still must be a reader insert!

*it’s first come first serve for characters, meaning there are character limits. multiple people can write for the same character, but they are capped. so please message me as soon as you see a character you want to write for!

*only one prompt per fic! (bonus points if you use any of my original prompts lol!) (also prompts can only be used once)

*triggers must be tagged. if there are any triggers in your fic, you must have a trigger warning. i cannot emphasize this enough.

*fic should be at least 500 words, if it’s longer (which please make it as long as you’d like!) you have to add a ‘read more’

*must tag me in the fic and use # urwarriorangelwritingchallenge <3

*fic should be a new original, not an old piece being resubmitted or a part of an already existing series. (you can write a series for this challenge if you’d like!)

*bonus points if you’re a poc!writer with a poc!reader <3 <3 <3

*you must respect the sexuality of the character! if you would like for an lgbtq+ character, their sexuality should not change in the fic. thank you!

*please send me a message with the character(s) you’d like to write for and the prompt!

example: damon salvatore + “i don’t know how much longer i can go on”

~the masterlist will be posted on august 13th! (if this goes well aka if people participate i would love to do this more often!)~

categories allowed:

anything your heart desires. if you’re going to write fluff please keep it compelling! add a few different styles together! give me some angst, some smut. make it a mystery! i mean absolutely no disrespect to those who write/read only fluff, but personally i find fluff a little more fun when it’s got multiple components! (if you write only fluff, please go ahead and write fluff! i will read it and i’m sure i’ll love it! these are just my personal preferences!)

i love aus very much, so please don’t shy away from them!

characters & prompts under the cut!

characters (five slots for each character)

agents of shield

al mackenzie antoine “trip” triplett daisy “skye” johnson grant ward jemma simmons lance hunter leopold fitz lincoln campbell

brooklyn 99

amy santiago charles boyle gina linetti jake peralta raymond holt rosa diaz terrence jeffords

buffy the vampire slayer

angel buffy summers cordelia chase rupert giles william the bloody aka spike

criminal minds

aaron hotchner david rossi derek morgan elle greenaway emily prentiss jennifer jareau luke alvez penelope garcia spencer reid

defenders-ish

billy russo frank castle jessica jones luke cage matt murdock

friends

chandler bing joey tribbiani monica geller phoebe buffay rachel green ross geller

game of thrones

arya stark benjen stark daenerys targaryen eddard stark jaime lannister jon snow khal drogo robb stark samwell tarly sansa stark tyrion lannister

gossip girl

blair waldorf carter baizen chuck bass dan humphrey nate archibald serena van der woodsen vanessa abrams

harry potter

draco malfoy fred weasley george weasley harry potter hermione granger remus lupin ronald weasley sirius black (young) tom riddle

hawaii five-0

adam noshimuri chin ho kelly daniel williams kono kalakaua michael noshimuri steve mcgarrett

jane the virgin

adam alvaro jane gloriana villanueva petra solano rafael solano

lucky number slevin

slevin kelevra

mcu

bruce banner aka hulk brunnhilde aka my valkyrie queen bucky barnes aka winter soldier clint barton aka hawkeye drax aka the destroyer erik stevens aka killmonger gamora aka um need we say more? janet van dyne aka wasp loki aka loki m’baku aka you already know mantis aka mantis aka a fucking cutie may parker aka ailf nakia aka loml okoye aka incredible badass peggy carter aka kickass peter parker aka spider-man peter quill aka star-lord pietro maximoff aka quicksilver sam wilson aka falcon scott lang aka antman shuri aka an angel stephen strange aka dr. strange steve rogers aka captain america t’challa aka black panther thor aka thor tony stark aka iron-man wanda maximoff aka scarlet witch

new girl

coach nick miller

pretty little liars

aria montgomery caleb rivers emily fields ezra fitz hanna marin jason dilaurentis mona vanderwaal noel kahn spencer hastings wren kingston

reign

francis mary stuart nostradamus sebastian

riverdale

archie andrews betty cooper cheryl blossom fangs fogarty fp jones fred andrews jason blossom josie mccoy jughead jones kevin keller malachai charles!reggie mantle ross!reggie mantle sweet pea toni topaz valerie brown veronica lodge

shadowhunters

alec lightwood clary fray isabelle lightwood jace herondale lucian grey magnus bane simon lewis

teen wolf

allison argent chris argent cora hale derek hale isaac lahey jackson whittermore jordan parrish kira yukimura liam dunbar lydia martin malia tate peter hale scott mccall stiles stilinski theo raeken

the 100

bellamy blake clarke griffin echo finn collins jasper jordan john murphy king roan lexa lincoln monty green nathan miller octavia blake ontari raven reyes wells jaha

the originals

davina claire elijah mikaelson freya mikaelson hayley marshall kol mikaelson lucian castle niklaus mikaelson marcel gerard rebekah mikaelson

the vampire diaries

bonnie bennett caroline forbes damon salvatore elena gilbert jeremy gilbert katherine pierce malachi parker mary louise matt donovan nora hildegard olivia parker tyler lockwood stefan salvatore sybil

x-men

alex summers aka havok charles xavier aka young!professor x erik lehnsherr aka magneto hank mccoy aka beast jean grey aka phoenix logan aka wolverine peter maximoff aka quiksilver ororo monroe aka storm raven darkholme aka mystique

prompts (once someone requests a prompt, i will update the list! list will be updated once a day, if multiple people ask for a prompt in between updates, i will give it to the first person who sent me an ask. i realize that there are more character options than there are prompts, i did this because i don’t think too many people will participate. if we ever run out, i will add more prompts! example of request: klaus mikaelson + “give me a chance”)

(rfaimagining)

angst

1: “ give me a chance. ”

2: “ not you again.. ”

3: “ leave me alone. ”

4: “ i don’t love you anymore. ”

5: “ why do you hate me? ”

6: “ i lost the baby. ”

7: “ i thought you loved me. ”

8: “ i don’t need you anymore. ”

9:“ i can’t believe you! ”

10: “ we can't keep this up forever. ”

11: “ you’re a monster. ”

12: “ i hate you. ”

13: “ don’t leave me… ”

14: “ you’re a disappointment. ”

15: “ don’t die on me– please. ”

16: “ i never meant to hurt you. ”

17: “ are you upset with me? ”

18: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

19: “ i’m going to kill you! ”

20: “ please don’t hurt me like this. ”

21: “ thanks for nothing. ”

22: “ dont call this number again. “

23: “ why did you spare me? ”

24: “ you need to leave. ”

25: “ i’m sick. ”

26: “ i’m dying. ”

27: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

28: “ i thought we were family!”

29: “ there was never an us. ”

30: “ so that’s it? it’s over? ”

31: “ i fucked up. ”

32: “ i came to say goodbye. ”

33:“ he’s dead because of you. ”

34: “ i don’t deserve to be loved. ”

35: “ about the baby… its yours. ”

love

36: “ i’m so in love with you. ”

37: “ dance with me! ”

38: “ isn’t this amazing? ”

39: “ i wish we could stay like this forever. ”

40: “ will you marry me? ”

41: “ i’m pregnant. ”

42: “ i need a hug. ”

43: “ you’re special to me. ”

44: “ i’m going to keep you safe. ”

45: “ do you trust me? ”

46: “ can i kiss you right now? ”

47: “ you’re cute when you’re angry. ”

48: “ i’ve liked you for awhile now. ”

49: “ let’s have a baby. ”

50: “ we’d make such a cute couple. ”

51: “ i want to take care of you. ”

52: “ can we cuddle? ”

53: “ it’s lonely here without you. ”

54: “ i can’t stand the thought of losing you. ”

55: “ shut up and kiss me already. ”

56: “ are you flirting with me? ”

57: “ is that my shirt? ”

58: “ how did we get here? ”

59: “ you own my heart. ”

60: “ you’d be a great dad. ”

61: “ you’d be a great mom. ”

62: “ i want to protect you. ”

63: “ what's the matter? ”

64: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

65: “ did you do something different with your hair? ”

66: “ is that a new perfume? ”

67: “ stop being so cute. ”

68: “ you’re making me blush! ”

69: “ you’re teasing me again… ”

70: “ this is why i fell in love with you. ”

71: “ you’re the best! ”

72: “ they’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”

73: “ oh, are you ticklish? ”

74: “ of course i remembered! ”

75: “ you’re one hell of a girl. ”

76: “ you’re one hell of a guy. ”

77: “ are you jealous? ”

78: “ hold me and never let me go. ”

79: “ stop hogging all the blankets! ”

80: “ lets run away together. ”

misc

90: “ catch me if you can! ”

91: “ i’m fine. ”

92: “ are you drunk? ”

93: “ are you high? ”

94: “ we can't go in there… ”

95: “ give it back! ”

96: “ well this is just great. ”

97: “ don’t touch me. ”

98: “ not sure if you could tell, but i’m not exactly a people person. ”

99: “ this was fun— let's do it again sometime!”

100: “ i didn’t do it! ”

101: “ i did it… ”

102: “ i don’t remember that! ”

103: “ well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”

104: “ get that thing away from me! ”

105: “ you owe me. ”

106: “ do you believe in aliens? ”

107: “ do you believe in ghosts? ”

108: “ are you hitting on me? ”

109: “ why are you naked? ”

110: “ you did what?! ”

111: “ you have… superpowers? ”

112: “ why are you bleeding? ”

113: “ where did all these puppies come from?”

114: “ don’t make me come over there myself! ”

115: “ that wasn’t funny. ”

116: “ this tastes horrible. ”

117: “ this is delicious! ”

118: “ are you mad at me? ”

119: “ stop ignoring me… ”

120: “ i love that show too! ”

121: “ can i borrow that book of yours?”

122: “ let's blow this joint. ”

123: “ let me help you with that. ”

124: “ take that back! ”

125: “ wanna go see a movie with me? ”

126: “ no way, that’s so lame. ”

127: “ what are you listening to? ”

128: “ i brought you your coffee. ”

129: “ don’t fuck this up. ”

130: “ run! ”

131: “ lets run away together. ”

132: “ i haven’t slept in four days… ”

133: “ your turn to do the dishes. ”

134: “ was i really that drunk? ”

135: “ was i really that stoned? ”

136: “give me back my phone! ”

137: “ you’re an asshole. ”

138: “ are you cold? ”

139: “ this place gives me the creeps. ”

140: “ i swear my house is haunted. ”

141: “ did you hear that? ”

142: “ it’s just your imagination. ”

143: “ just how stupid do you think i am? ”

144: “ stop being such a baby. ”

145: “ go back to bed. ”

146: “ are you okay? ”

147: “ i can take care of myself just fine.”

148: “ thanks for helping me back there. ”

149: “ since when have we ever been friends? ”

150: “ what on earth are you wearing? ”

151: “ i can’t feel my legs! ”

152: “ stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

153: “ put me down! ”

154: “ there’s only one bed… ”

155: “ it isn’t what it looks like! okay.. maybe it is… ”

156: “ how did i lose it? ”

157: “ i read your diary. ”

158: “ this is awkward. ”

159: “ didn’t you read the sign? ”

160: “ do you think you can teach me that? ”

nsfw

161: “ bite me. ”

162: “ make me. ”

163: “ fuck me. ”

164: “ stop teasing me so much… ”

165: “ do you like it when i touch you like that?”

166: “ okay.. this is new. ”

167: “ want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”

168: “ you’re in trouble now. ”

169: “ what a pretty sight. ”

170: “ bend over. ”

171: “ on your knees. ”

172: “ the food looks great but.. there’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ”

173: “ lay back. ”

174: “ take off your clothes. ”

175: “ well, fine; just this once. ”

176: “ i’m waiting. ”

177: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

178:“ as you wish. ”

179: “ first one to make a noise loses.”

180: “ you have no idea what you do to me. ”

181: “ if you’re bored; wanna have sex? ”

182: “ i've wanted this for so long. ”

183: “ car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ”

184: “ can i touch you? ”

185: “ open up. ”

186: “ no strings attached. ”

187: “ already? do i really have that much of an effect on you? ”

188: “ mine. ”

189: “ the nights still young. ”

190: “ we can't do that here! ”

191: “ behave. ”

192:“ what did you just say? ”

193: “ good girl. ”

194: “ good boy. ”

195: “ come here. ”

continued nsfw from misc sources

196: “are you going to come here, or are you going to make me come get you myself?”

197: “don’t look at me like that, you brought this on yourself.”

198: “stay still, squirming will make it worse.”

199: “keep count. if you lose it, we’re starting over. understand?”

200: “go get me the cane.”

201: “take your shirt off and put your hands up against the wall.”

202: “open your mouth. i’m putting the gag in so your screaming won’t alarm someone.”

203: “did you disobey my orders?”

204: “i thought i told you not to touch that?”

205: “have you finished everything i told you to do?”

206: “if you don’t stop acting like this, i’ll be forced to use different tactics.”

207: “your skin turns so red under my palm.”

208: “bend over the back of the couch.”

209: “you might want to bite something, the whip has a bite to it.”

210: “come here and bend over my lap.”

211: “i’m tired of your smart mouth.”

212: “you’re really hot.”

213: “oh, don’t mind me. just enjoying the view.”

214: “you know, those/that ______ of yours are/is pretty distracting.”

215: “hot damn.”

216: “so, you come here often?”

217: “well, well. my night just got better.”

218: “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

219: “you have got a great ass.”

220: “hey, i’m open minded.”

221: “you enjoying the view over there?”

222: “keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

223: “don’t be bashful. you know you want to.”

224: “you can have me any way you’d like, baby.”

225: “you wanna move this conversation someplace more private?”

226: “i’m off in a few minutes, you know.”

227:“it’s been a long day. why don’t we help each other unwind?”

228: “i think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

229: “i’m gonna be honest with you. i’m really horny, and you’re really hot. can we fuck? like, now?”

230: “i wanna see you get naked.”

231: “you like how i bend over for you, huh?”

232: “you’re getting me all worked up.”

233: “what do we have here?”

234: "i see someone’s happy to see me.”

235: “play your cards right, and i just might have to put you on speed dial.”

236: “you like that, don’t you?”

237: “how do you want me?”

238: “i’m sure we can put those lips to better use.”

239: “i want you. right here. right now.”

240: “god, you’re perfect.”

241: “i really like a man who’s good with his hands.”

242: “i’d be more than happy to show you a good time, if you’re looking for one.”

243: “i saw that. you just checked me out.”

244: “you look real good in that suit/dress/skirt/outfit.”

245: “you wanna help me out of this ___?” (insert article clothing here.)

246: “can i keep you?”

247: “you’re such a tease.”

248: “oh my, looks like i/you dropped something.”

249: “i love it when you talk dirty.”

250: “i can’t stop thinking about your hands on me.”

251: “i think you’ll be happy to know that i’m not wearing any underwear.”

252: “i really want to take you home and get you out of all those clothes.”

253: “it’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.”

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, P14  Peter Parker x Reader

Author’s Note:

Hello, everyone! It’s been such a busy week I can’t think of much that I need to add here except my eternal thanks you’s. Thank you guys so, so, so much for your comments, messages, asks, favorites, and reblogs! I’m always so geeked to see what you guys have to say, it really means the world :)

Technically this weekend is a double update! Although, admittedly, the next part is going to be crazy short, like between 300-400 words. :(

Also, there will be another note at the end of this to ask for some music recommendations (I’ll explain it further), so if anyone takes me up on that, thank you again!

***Warnings: Penis. (I feel like there’s a better way to phrase this yet here we are  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 15

Without further ado,

Then Again, Part 14:

(Words: 1,234)

POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF THE “CUDDLE SITUATION” OF LAST NIGHT (ALSO KNOWN AS REASONS I SHOULD NEVER LISTEN TO MYSELF AGAIN):

I wake up with half of my body clinging to Peter’s shirtless self.

I ruin - irrefutably demolish - my commitment to get over my crush, like I’m some sort of Peter Parker addict and this is an enormous relapse.

I wake up before my alarm because his boner is digging into my left leg.

My practical, analytical side is punching my who cares anymore? side into oblivion because all of those things are really, absolutely happening right now. And I’m kind of freaking out since I’m the sole person to blame.

On his back, Peter sleeps with his entire right hand wound within my hair. My head rests on his chest, my arm hugging his middle, my leg still between his. His... um, Penis Parker is way too... prevalent. God, the last thing I need to think about right now is Flash.

I’ve gone too quickly from dead asleep to wide awake. It’s dizzying. I can feel the blood rushing in waves through my ears.

The alarm clock on the nightstand says 5:38 a.m., its glow just barely illuminating the room enough to make out shadows. I move my head slowly to look up. Peter’s face is the only thing I can really see in any detail, yet even though his expression is calm and still, it’s sending my stomach into somersaults, given our positions. Focus. Today is about the competition, not Peter. You need to be prepared.

I need to get up and take a shower, even if I go back to sleep. (And I really should, if I want my brain to function even slightly.)

I shift my arm slowly, retracting it like a chameleon from a National Geographic episode of Life. It takes a minute. Once it’s safely back on me and not on him, I try my leg next. I can’t believe I let any of this happen. Penis Parker. Oh my god. If things go back to normal, when is too soon to joke about this? Would he be awkward about it if I told Michelle and Ned? Of course he would. It’s Peter. He’d be mortified. A thousand other thoughts sprinting through my brain, this particular effort takes more time. Not to mention, the further I move my leg, the more off balanced I’m becoming. At least his trunks are dry now; their dampness had been uncomfortable last night.

As my leg slips off of his, he grunts, twitching slightly. My eyes flash up. Still sleeping. I let out a silent sigh.

All I need to do is slide his hand out of my hair and sneak my head off of his chest. It might be easier if all of my weight wasn’t balanced on one side of my body. Nevertheless, it can’t be that hard. God, I won’t be able to say “hard” with a straight face for weeks.

I reach just behind my ear to find his hand. Gingerly, I lift it while I ease my head out from underneath. My hair catches some, but I shift my fingers until it falls from his. Perfect. I set his hand back down, on his chest.

Before I can roll over to exit the bed, my vision of the alarm clock is obstructed by a sudden, heavy shadow.

“Wait,” Peter says, voice thick with sleep as he rolls on top of me, arms latched with an iron grip around my middle. “I can’t figure out the code ‘cause it’s just, like, so ughhh, you know? It’s the sleep. Jus-just makes sense. Promotion for the... the, uh, future of Parker Industries. Right.”

As he slurs nonsense into the crook of my neck and shoulder, he moves the rest of his body like a child trying to get comfy in their blankets, his torso squirming against mine frozen beneath him. His words half-pressed into the skin of my collarbone send shivers through my spine and I fight an almost-squeak rising in my throat. I might have more time to process this, how absurdly good it might feel, but his weight is literally crushing the air from my lungs and I don’t even want to explain where certain parts of him are on me.

I try to wiggle out from under him to catch my breath, my hands pulling at the bedsheets as I struggle.

But I can’t move. He’s too heavy. Anxiety floods and washes through my bones.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I really can’t breathe.

Images of Ross Geller and Chandler Bing pop into my head, blaring like panic alarms.

Hug and Roll. Hug and Roll. Hug and Roll.

I mirror Peter’s embrace and wrap my arms around him as tightly as possible. I squeeze and roll.

Not enough.

I don’t get more than halfway, a half gasp of air, before my back hits the bed again, his weight shoving each of my ribs downward into each other. Peter merely tightens his grip and nuzzles his face into my hair, muttering something about Happy Hogan and shampoo.

Come on, come on. Do it. Get yourself out. Hug and Roll. Just do it.

This time, I put all my strength into it.

Fuck. Almost.

The fall backward hits even harder this time. Peter clings tighter still and my lungs might as well be deflated plastic bags. Shit, I might actually pass out in another ten seconds. My vision is darkening. I can’t see the alarm clock anymore.

I jam my foot hard into the mattress and roll our bodies to the right before using the momentum to roll sharply left, scrambling so both of my feet dig into the bed, one nearly tripping over the other.

Yes!

I gasp, nearly choking and almost not caring if the sound wakes him up.

We’re on the other side of the bed - thank God - and I’m on top of Peter.

Relief melts my posture, the former strain in my neck and back fading out. I rest my forehead against his shoulder, eyes closed tight.

After a dozen full, deep breaths, I move to get up.

I can’t.

Peter’s arms are still locked around me. The grip is looser at least, and I can breathe perfectly fine, but I know my chances of breaking his super grip are slimmer than slim.

Shit.

The jabbing in my hip is growing more and more frustrating each moment. If he wakes up like this… we may never speak again, even if we forgive each other for last night. I can already picture it: Peter would drown himself in embarrassment, sputtering apologies as his face turns a thousand shades of red. I’d like to spare both of us from that. If possible, I’d like to avoid any more unnecessary stress between us. I need things to be normal with Peter… and this is not normal for us.

“Nah, man,” Peter’s mumbling next to my ear. “Mr. S is chill, no worries. Like a dad. Keep it on the D.L. and no problema, partner.”

If we were on stabler terms, I might try to reach my phone to record this. His retainers are making him sound like a drunk college boy. His skin is so warm. His breath is tingling the side of my neck, my toes curling in reponse.

Maybe… maybe I’ll just rest my eyes for a couple minutes.

Part 15

Next update: Tomorrow, Nov. 25

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think :)

*As for the music that I mentioned earlier, I don’t want to spoil anything, but there’s going to be a scene where Peter will need a playlist of music.

I’ve been scouting songs that would fit his music taste from the movie, but I haven’t had much time. If you guys have any suggestions, I would really, really, really appreciate them! I’ll probably use a bunch of songs from the movie soundtrack, so those are the kind I’m looking for, though modern songs are great too! They’ll need to be upbeat, in the theme of Prom, but also a couple slower ones are needed as well. Oh dear, I’ve said too much :)

But please, if you have any in mind, I would love to hear them! (So far, my list is super short.) Additionally, I might make this into a real playlist on Spotify or 8Tracks if you guys are interested, so if you are, let me know!

- Jane

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If I missed anyone in the tags or if yours isn’t working, let me know :)

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[fieldsofplay]

Top Albums of 2017

20. Protomartyr – Relatives in Descent  

I put this album 20 for several reasons. One, it’s a great album. Two, they release these records every year and their inclusion is thus a little rote at this point, so it might as well just kick off the list as the official start to another year. Three, we can get politics out of the way at the outset. 2017. Woof. And we thought 2016 was bad. If any band is going to soundtrack the hellscape that is Amerikkka in 2017, it’s hard to do better than Detroit’s Protomartyr. No one is better at channeling our collective disillusionment with the political climate into raw power.

19. Lorde – Melodrama

I don’t know if I’m surprised by my embrace of this record or not. I’ll admit part of me found the idea of Lorde not all that interesting, and I never really bothered to listen to her first record. But as high culture and pop continue to draw ever closer to each other it would be foolish to ignore one of the true pop perfectionists while embracing the Beyonces and Kanyes with open arms. This album bangs. The beats are oddly reminiscent of late night Junior Boys vibes, with perfect pop sing-along’s about a night on the town laid infectiously over the top of those hypnotic beats. Whenever I hear “Homemade Dynamite” it takes days to get it out of my head (dy-dy-dy-dynomite).

18. Tyler, the Creator – Flower Boy

While many old acts dusted off their A-games and a few young guns broke on through, no artist this year was more surprising than Tyler. Long written off as a homophobic infantile flash in the pan, the least interesting member of a crew (Wolf Gang) that he single handedly launched, Tyler did a lot of growing up in 2017. Flower Boy is a testament to that growth. The hip-hop equivalent to former fellow crew member Frank Ocean’s Blond, Flower Boy is a kaleidoscopic trip through acid rap tinged with a hint of g-funk. While I never find personal politics compelling when it comes to artistic statements, the fact that the former gay-basher came out himself is important not for who he professes to sleep with, but for the giant emotional leap such an ideational 180 requires. Having come so far as an artist, I cannot wait to see where Tyler goes next.

17. TOPS – Sugar at the Gate

TOPS are perhaps the most precise band on this list. When left to my own devices I tend to gravitate to loose punk and dance music, and I am an avowed enemy of soft rock, but there is just something irresistible about this band. The whole thing never drifts out of a narrowly restrained emotional range, and yet at the same time remains impeccably locked-in, like a krautrock metronome played on a chintzy synthesizer. There’s a song on this record called “Dayglow Bimbo”; that’s all you really need to know.

16. Sza – Ctrl

With the exception of Kendrick I’m not sure who cast a wider cultural net this year, Lorde or Sza? Ctrl is one of those albums that seemed to cross all scene boundaries, if it were still the 1990s it’d be one of those cd’s that was in everyone’s car (like Californication or Sublime). Ctrl is an R&B record that is simultaneously chill and bumping. Sza sings, not to the audience, but as if she’s alone in her apartment, letting her emotions out to the music playing on the radio in the background.  

15. Run the Jewels – RTJ3

Run the Jewels appear to be the victims of their own success. After two universally revered albums of mic passing mc showdowns that also managed to be locked-into their historical moment, album three was enjoyed and largely forgotten as more of the same. Perhaps this is my contrarian nature shining through, but I honestly like RTJ3 more than RTJ2, an album many embraced as the most important album the year it came out. Killer Mike and EL-P remain in top form, and the group is probably more relevant than they’ve ever been. “Call Ticketron” is still my go-to Friday afternoon ducking out of work early jam.

14. Kevin Morby – City Music

Like Protomartyr, Kevin Morby just puts out incredible record after incredible record, literally every year. For my tastes Singing Saw remains his finest work, but City Music has really grown on me over the course of the year. I caught him at the Turf Club and these songs really come alive in person. This album is more restrained than his previous output, but there is a certain beauty in its restraint. This album reminds me of another exquisite work of countrified city music, Bright Eyes’ I’m Wide Awake its Morning. The perfect album for wandering around city streets at night, wondering what it all means.

13. Brockhampton – Saturation II  

I first learned about Brockhampton while waiting for my to-go order sitting at the counter at World Street Kitchen. Some of the local youths were talking about the new Jay-Z record so I decided to wade into the fray, throwing my hat squarely in the ‘I don’t really care about Jay-Z anymore’ ring. One of the youths responded he was too busy listening to this new collective of kids out in LA that were like a westcoast Wu-Tang Clan to bother with Jay-Z. Well, my interest was certainly peaked, and Saturation II did not disappoint. The album bristles with energy as the mic moves from mc to mc, all of whose individual styles vary but still manage to cohere into a definitive whole (is it clear I still haven’t figured out who is who in this crew?). While none of the sounds are new, Saturation II is definitely the sound of the future of hip-hop.

12. Vagabon – Infinite Worlds

This album checks all my boxes. Loud guitars. Thudding drums with liberal use of the cymbals. Quirky narrative lyrics. Sounds like it was recorded live to tape in someone’s backroom. (And its even got a super hazy synth song with a French title.) The chorus of the first track is “You’re a shark that hates everything.” A more aggressive Pavement. A less sad Bedhead. Bonus points for being vaguely from Brooklyn and having a great song called “Minneapolis.”

11. Kamasi Washington – Harmony of Difference

Following the three-disc sprawl of the aptly titled The Epic with a 6 song E.P. (clocking in at a very economical 32 minutes) felt slightly underwhelming at first. We are used to having so much Kamasi, it was something you could get lost in, like a Russian novel. However, while Kamasi certainly excels on the astral plane, this set benefits from concision. It’s one thing to write a novel and another to pen a short story. Kamasi is able to use his saxophone to portray both, sometimes within the same song –the opener “Desire” is both a mellow group cut and clarion solo, all within just 4 and a ½ minutes.

10.  John Maus – Screen Memories

Of all the people on this list, John Maus is definitely the weirdest. In all honesty, his music sounds like it was made by Ross Geller, with one notable exception, it’s really fucking good. Often linked with Ariel Pink, I’ve honestly never really found them comparable. I find Pink’s music vapid and uninteresting, whereas Maus’ synth tracks are full of such life and oddness, all while remaining compellingly melodic. His baritone singing is less a vocal performance and more another layer of tone piled into the composition. Maus does more with stark base, futuristic (i.e. 1980s) synths, and rudimentary drum machines than others do with entire symphonies.

9. The War on Drugs – A Deeper Understanding

I honestly didn’t think 2017 was as good a year for music as some of its recent predecessors, but then I realized this album is number 9 on my list and I had to come to terms with the fact that the peaks of this year are incredibly high. A few years back Lost in the Dream was my number one album of the year, and I like A Deeper Understanding just as much. Over the years Adam Granduciel has come to perfect a sound obviously indebted to a few key influences, and yet a sound somehow entirely his own. Even though he’s a Philadelphia musician, Granduciel has somehow come to encapsulate the ennui of the late capitalist American middle west. These songs are haunting, filled with the charged emptiness of ambient music. But they are also filled with giant guitar solos that would put Jeff Tweedy to shame. I’ve seen this band several times dating all the way back to 2008. When I saw them this fall they were bonafide rock stars. I imagine this is what it must have been like to see Neil Young circa On the Beach. It was a treat.

8. Wolf Parade – Cry Cry Cry

Dear America, what gives? How come no one seems to love this record? Everyone seems to like it, but no one seems to love it. This album is great, and I won’t accept anything less. A band cursed by a universally revered debut and multiple equally successful sideprojects that split the votes of the true believers, Wolf Parade have somehow managed to be critical darlings, popular, and yet somehow are also underrated. Cry Cry Cry is to my ear arguably their second best album, which isn’t to say I was disheartened with Mt. Zoomer or Expo ’86. The new record has something for every member of the Wolf Parade expanded universe, the propulsive Dan fist-pumper (“Artificial Life” “You’re Dreaming”), the moody opener (“Lazarus Online”), and most importantly, the sprawling Spencer epic (“Baby Blue”). Wolf Parade were another bygone band I was fortunate enough to see in 2017. It was arguably the best show of the entire lot, and somehow it wasn’t a sellout. What gives, America?  

7. Strange Ranger – Daymoon

Daymoon is my cause célèbre of 2017. Largely overlooked by the press, this is the most perfect fall album I’ve heard in years. It creaks. It echoes. It’s full of odd flourishes. “Haunting” is an adjective I feel is mostly misapplied but fits this album like a glove. I don’t know if there is actually a theremin on this record (or a singing saw) but it always feels like one is humming softly in the background. If you loved the Microphones’ The Glow, Pt II, early Modest Mouse, or Neutral Milk Hotel give this album a spin when you feel like taking a long walk in a golden post-harvest field, or at least feel like doing so in your mind.

6. Slowdive– Slowdive

This album has no business being anywhere near as amazing as it is. While Souvlaki remains one of my all time favorite records, it was always the exception, not the rule. As I learned from the great Pitchfork documentary, one of the reasons Souvlaki was so distinct, besides the inclusion of personal hero Brian Eno of course, is that the two front people in the band were in the process of breaking up while making that record. 1995’s Pygmalion was essentially an (uninteresting) solo affair, and that was it, Slowdive faded along with the shoegaze movement of which they were a central figure. Suddenly here we are in 2017, the band is inexplicably back, and almost more amazing is just how great a record Slowdive is. It’s like the follow up to Souvlaki was frozen in carbonite (timely reference!) and perfectly preserved so it could be unveiled 25 years in the future. If “Slomo” isn’t 2017’s best song, it’s certainly its most beautiful.

5. Daniele Luppi & Parquet Courts – Milano

To loosely paraphrase Ferris Bueller, I’ve never been to Milan, I’m not Milanese, what do I care about an album devoted to the city put together by an Italian composer I don’t know? Well, collaborating with Parquet Courts and Karen O is certainly an irresistible start. On paper the whole thing sounds like a mess, and yet the finished product is a taught 9 tracks that breezes by in 30 minutes like an alfa romeo. While I might not know anything about Milan, especially Milan in the 80s, somehow this album manages to evoke that place, or at least an idea of that place. A large part of this has to do with the arty coolness Parquet Courts have always exuded. They can emblematize any hip scene, be it Ridgewood in the 2010s or Milan in the 1980s. They just have that wiry sound and jittery energy that calls to mind fashionable afterparties and mountains of cocaine. While I love both of Parquet Courts singers, I never would have imagined that Karen O is actually the perfect frontwoman for this band, sorta like Nico and the Velvet Underground. Here’s hoping the Courts enjoyed working with her more than Lou Reed did with the German chanteuse. Give “Flush” a listen, I guarantee you start strutting.

4. Vince Staples – Big Fish Theory

Every now and then there is an artist whose debut is an instant classic, and then somehow manages to grow even further on each subsequent release. For this current generation, besides Kanye, that person is Vince Staples. Summertime ’06 was a double disc perfect rendition of classic LA hip-hop that was also a sneaky great album to dance to. Big Fish Theory is possibly the most formally experimental hip-hop album I’ve ever heard. If you cut out the vocals, it’d be an avante guarde electronic dance album. Throw Vince’s perfect flow over the top, and you have a Frankenstein monster of hip-hop and dance music that somehow manages to be a seamless union of the two. I’m still mad at my friend Evelyn for skipping this at Shrizz’ wedding this past summer. The nerve of some people.

3. White Reaper – The World’s Best American Band

I sincerely hope you like Cheap Trick. And not ironically. Like, you actually really like Cheap Trick. If so, I’ll be goddamned if this isn’t a perfect album of fist-pumping arena rock made by a bunch of basement punks from Louisville. If you don’t like Cheap Trick, well then, you just might not get why this is so great. Every track is a perfect nugget of 70s style power pop with just enough of a hint of punk to make it somehow sound fresh. In a year when I saw most of my favorite bands make triumphant returns from the grave, seeing these guys blow the roof off the tiny 7th Street Entry was probably the most fun I’ve had straight up rocking out in some time. I’ve never owned a jean jacket in my life, but this album makes me want to buy one.

2. LCD Soundsystem – American Dream

Now I know I’m a hyperbolic person. Every bar is my “favorite,” every track is the “best,” but I’m being legit when I say LCD Soundsytem are the most important band of my lifetime. I bought the self-titled album at a CD store on State Street in Madison shortly before leaving town and moving to New York. Sound of Silver was the soundtrack of my 20s. By the time they broke up my 20s were over and all my friends started moving out of New York. If I came of age in the 70s this band would probably be Bowie or in the 80s it would have been New Order, but as someone who gradually became an adult during the late 00’s, this was the most important band, not only to me, but to most everyone I know. It was of course also crucial that they were the official band of Brooklyn. They were there, as the song goes, and so were we. I honestly never understood the overwrought handwringing that accompanied their return. Are you really going to be mad at having more LCD in your life just because they once told you “that’s it, it’s all over”? American Dream is just as good as anything they’ve ever put out. I’d put “Other Voices,” “Change Yr Mind,” and “Tonite” up there with the best songs they’ve ever penned. Getting to see them tour once again, with both old New York friends and new Minnesotans, in a new town, in a new phase of existence, was the cherry on top of the electro funk sundae.

1. Kendrick Lamar – Damn.

People call him King, and it is a worthy title. Throughout music history the truly all-time greats always had someone who was their dialectical opposite spur them on to greater accomplishments—Beatles and Stones, Michael and Prince, Pumpkins and Pavement (not that either would acknowledge the other)—and now we have two titans of hip-hop pushing each other in radically different directions. Kanye is the pop perfectionist, the Michael Jackson, the Paul McCartney, everything he touches turns to gold. Kendrick is the flawless technical savant, he is literally the best, no one is better. Pick your favorite MC from throughout hip-hop history, they all have their idiosyncrasies and particular strengths (Rahim has technical prowess, Andre has speed, Q-tip has an inimitably odd flow) somehow Kendrick is better at all of all those things than all of those legends. No one’s voice is more varied, no one is a better rhymer, and no one has ever matched rhyme to rhythm this side of Shakespeare (that’s not hyperbole, well maybe Frank O’Hara). Just listen to the subtle variations in “Lust” that somehow tell a person’s entire day, an entire lifestyle, in a sentence or two. It’s not just he’s the best at spitting lines, he also has the ability to intertwine those rhymes into infectious pop structures. Kendrick has released 3 albums that people are aware of (and 4 overall), and those three are all amongst the top albums of the decade. Each one overbrims with classic tunes. “Humble” was the song of the year before Damn. even dropped, and the rest of the album lived up to the hype of that single. I’m still not exactly sure what “If I gotta slap a pussy-ass ni***, I'ma make it look sexy” means, but goddamn if I don’t love it and still perfectly understand it. This record is so good it somehow makes U2 cool. In a year where everything seemed to go wrong, Damn. was there to remind us that there will always be beauty in the chaos, so long as you don’t forget to keep searching it out.

[ellrond]

(1)I absolutely understand that everyone has the right to their opinion as well as expressing it, but I would just like to put this out there. Ross Geller: Walked his ex-wife down the aisle after her parents refused to do so, Was an active and involved parent to both his children over the course of the show, Bought Phoebe a bike when he heard how she never owned one as a child - then taught her how to ride it

(2) taught her how to ride it, Loaned his little sister money when she was broke and told her there was no deadline for paying him back, After causing an accident which injured a little girl, sold cookies for her door-to-door to win her a trip to space camp and when he couldn’t win the trip for her, set up her own special space camp in Joey & Chandler’s apartment

(3) Bought Joey’s porcelain dog as a gift so that Joey wouldn’t have to return everything when he lost his DOOL job, Stepped in to escort Rachel to Prom when her date stood her up, Searched all night for Chandler when Chandler disappeared before his and Monica’s wedding, Attempted to help Joey and Chandler mend their rift when Chandler helped Kathy cheat on Joey

(4) Agreed to not date anyone when Rachel asked him not to towards the end of her pregnancy, understanding that she was under enormous stress from the pregnancy and therefore allowed to be irrational [this belongs to a text post but I can't send a link unfortunately] Just wanted to put it out there that yes, Ross made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of flaws, but he is not a worthless piece of shit at all.

i appreciate the effort you put into this but really its falling on deaf ears hes a piece of shit and i hate him for the following reasons (this is not a complete list):

got ready to go to prom with rachel not out of the good of his heart, but because he was in love with her (also this strikes me as creepy considering he was in college and she was in high school at the time but whatever) it’s not like he did it solely out of the good of his heart simply because she was his sister’s best friend and he wanted to do something pure n good for her and monica 

ALSO of course he looked for chandler all night long like what the fuck else was he gonna do lmao that doesnt make him good it just makes him a functioning member of society 

he stalked rachel at her new job constantly (uhhh remember the valentines presents he relentlessly sent her ghjfgfjk) 

constantly accused (both verbally and non verbally) her of cheating with that guy from her work 

doesnt seem to be that active as a father with ben.....

oh my god literally told his very young son that ‘we were on a break’ like??? whats even the point oh haha so hilarious 

decided to get a pet monkey and in my mind owning an exotic animal as a ‘pet’ makes you a scumbag automatically anyway 

led emily on so much when he clearly didnt love her (he just loved the idea of loving her) to the point where he was thinking about another woman so much at his own damn wedding he couldn’t get his bride’s name right 

a bunch more shit?

AND HERE IT IS, THE ABSOLUTE KICKER!!!!!!!! when rachel was offered her dream job in Paris, when she absolutely yearned for it, when it was everything she had dreamed of for literally YEARS, he never even once considered going with her. Bearing in mind as a university professor he could live and work anywhere in the damn world, he decided he wanted her to stay in New York where she didn’t want to be, where she didn’t see a professional future, just because he was so self-obsessed that it never even came into his sphere of thought to follow Rachel, rather than hold her back. 

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England Do you like to drink tea? I only drink iced tea and only the artificial kind, so I don’t think that even counts as tea. My tongue never did adapt well to traditional ones. Do you like to put sugar in your tea? I like my iced tea super sweet if that counts. Have you ever explored an ancient castle? No but it would be interesting to enter one! If you're a Christian, are you Catholic or Protestant? I was baptized and still legally Catholic. Philippines is predominantly Catholic, with 80% of the population; I don’t how the % of Protestants, but it’s definitely a much smaller bit of the pie since the rest of the religions are divided into different Christian denominations, then Islam. Do you live in a big house? It’s definitely bigger than my childhood home, so that’s more than enough.

Are there a lot of seagulls where you live? I don’t think seagulls fly over to this side of the world? Correct me if I’m wrong though. Do you have a garden? Only a very small one. Name something you own with the British flag on it. Probs an old UK-themed notebook lying around, but I’m not sure if I still even have those or if they already got thrown out. What's your favorite part of London? I dunno. London always seemed like such a hectic city for me and I’ve never really had an idea about its identity. If you've been to England, what was your favorite city you've visited? If applicable, what is/was your favorite store in London? I’m not sure I know any London-based stores. Have you ever been lost in London? Nope. Would you say your personality is British? Do you think you'd fit in there? I’d say my personality is the furthest thing from that since I’ve never been submerged in their local culture. I don’t know if I would fit in; a lot of them seem pretty short-tempered lmao. Do you have English ancestors, or are you from England? I’m positively -60% English. Ireland What is one of your favorite celtic songs? I don’t know anything about Irish history/culture other than Becky Lynch, Sheamus, and Niall Horan. I’m laying that out this early. Do you have red hair? Absolutely not. Are you Irish? No Irish blood in my system at all.

Name 5 redheads that you know. Becky Lynch x2.5, Sheamus x2.5 lmao. Who in your family is/was a redhead? Nobody. If you've been to Ireland, what was your favorite city you visited? I haven’t been to Ireland but I would rather take a trip there than to London definitely. Did you have any bad experiences in Ireland? Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No but Western social media shoves it in my face every year. I have no idea what it’s about other than they turn the Chicago River green. Do you like Irish food? I don’t know much about their food actually :o I don’t think there are places that serve it. What's one thing you like about ancient cathedrals? The fact that millions of lives with different experiences, all in different contexts have come and gone within them. Do you like rolling hills of green? ...I don’t know what you’re talking about. Are you just talking about hills? Because yes, hills are fine with me lmao. Do you like bagpipes? No. All this question gave me was the image of Ross Geller playing them on a Friends episode because he wanted to surprise Chandler and Monica on their wedding. If you're Irish, what part of Ireland is your family from? Do you like English accents or Irish accents better? I like both but I find English ones a wee bit more satisfying to listen to. China What is your Chinese zodiac sign? Tiger. ^Do you like it? Do you feel it fits your personality? I don’t give a shit about it. Do you like your American zodiac sign or Chinese zodiac sign better? I don’t give a shit about either, either. Do you like Chinese food? LOOOOOOOVE good ol’ family-style Chinese food. None of that fake Chinese takeout. List three of your favorite Chinese foods. Minced pork with eggplant, century eggs, spring rolls. Are you familiar with the topic of footbinding? I do. We were taught about it from very early on. What are your favorite books about the Chinese? I don’t really read books about the Chinese. I’ve read readings on Chinese history in high school and college–which I all enjoyed–but I’m not passionate about them enough to pick a favorite. Do you know anyone Chinese? I know a lot of them. Philippines has a very large Chinese Filipino/Filipino Chinese community thanks to their mass migrations way way back–they’ve since heavily integrated their native culture to the country, so we have a lot of Chinese restaurants and Filipinos typically love Chinese food, and we also (by law) celebrate Chinese New Year. There are also a lot of private schools established for kids of Chinese descent. Who is your favorite Chinese youtuber? I don’t have any. Have you ever cooked Chinese food at home? Not me because I don’t cook. My grandma and my dad have. Are you familiar with the Great Chinese Famine? Only a bit. Do you wish your school would teach you about other countries' history? It already does! UP’s very fortunate to have a very well-endowed history department: there are courses for West, East, Southeast, and South Asian, Latin American, United States, European, Spanish, and African history. We ain’t the top school in the country for nothing. Would you ever want to go to China? I already have. The old people there are SO rude and their sense of hygiene and manners is so different from what we have :( I’d still want to go back just for shits and giggles but their people are generally meh. Do you have any Chinese in your family? We do but they aren’t related to us anymore. The relatives who are Chinese are those who married into our family, but my family per se isn’t Chinese. Japan Do you like sushi? I’m fucking craaaaaaaazy about sushi. And sashimi.  ^If so, what are your favorite kinds? Any kind as long as the main part is tuna, unagi (eel), or uni (sea urchin).  What is your favorite manga series? I don’t read manga. Do you love Japanese street fashion? I appreciate it, but it’s too...hip for me hahaha. I’d stick to my preppy wardrobe. What color hair would you have as an anime character? Light pink maybe. Are you aware of the struggles of Japanese Americans during World War 2? Admittedly, not so sure about the situation of Japanese-Americans; but in general, the Japanese were unnecessarily big fucking bullies throughout WWII. They don’t even have the balls to say sorry completely until today. As a Filipino (PH was one of the countries it essentially raped head to toe), this continues to make me angry today. What is your favorite Japanese name? I don’t have. Do you like bonsai trees? They’re cool but I’m not like gaga over them. What's one thing you think Americans should adopt from the Japanese? Intelligence? Have you ever listened to Jpop? No. Do you like Hello Kitty? No. But my sister loves everything Sanrio. What is something you want to know about the Japanese? Why they can’t seem to apologize for their war crimes and criminals and and sex slavery and using of comfort women and cases of rape, torture, and abuse in my country. Do you know anyone who's Japanese? Yeah, I had a classmate from last sem whose last name was Mizushima and looked Japanese. Would you ever want to go to Japan? I already have. The people were very nice. Australia Do you have blonde hair? No trace of blonde anywhere on me.

Do you live near a beach? I live in an archipelago, so technically yes. The nearest beaches are still 3 hours away though. Do you surf? Nah. We’ve been to so many beach resorts that offer basic surfing lessons, but ultimately it’s only my dad, mom, and sister who try it out. I have bad balance so I was always too scared to try. Who is your favorite Australian youtuber? I like Jamie Zhu, but only the videos of him pranking his dad. I haven’t seen any of his other material. Do you watch The Norris Nuts? Never even heard of it. Who is your favorite Australian fictional character? I don’t know a lot of Australian characters other than Hi-5!!! Lmao. What is your favorite song by Hillsong? Fuck no. Have you ever tried to surf? See a few questions above. Do you skateboard? Nope. I can’t balance well other than on the ice skating rink. Have you ever been on an island? I live on an island. Do you live on an island? Yes. A country with 7,641 islands. Do you like Australian accents or British accents better? British ones. Have you ever heard the term, "Crikey, mate!" No...I’ve only ever heard of it stereotyped in the media, too. Is there any Australian here who can confirm if people say this everyday lol Have you ever met anyone from Australia? I probably have but my memory is rusty at the moment. Africa Do you know anyone from Africa? Yeah, I have a mutual friend who’s Nigerian.

Are you familiar with the War on Sudan? A little. I got most of my knowledge of it from my international relations class. Do you own an Invisible Children shirt? I don’t. Have you been to Africa? No, but I want to pay a visit so bad. What's your favorite wild animal? Elephants. Do you prefer dancing or drumming? Neither, but if I absolutely had to pick: drumming. Do you have good rhythm? Not at all. Would you ever want to go to Africa? Yes. What is a great African song? I don’t know any. Have you ever tried African dancing? Nope. Do you own any African jewelry? I don’t. Ever danced to "Waka Waka"? I never did like that song. No. What's the furthest you've ever walked in one day? Probably that time we were in Bali and felt like we walked for 7 days. It was soooooooo humid that day so I was really cranky after. Do you live in a mud hut? No. Mexico List 3 of your favorite Mexican foods. I’m not big on Mexican food that much so I’m sorry if my picks are a little basic haha. I like chimichangas, burritos, and nachos. List 3 Mexican names you like. Ines, Luis, Antonio. List 3 people you know who are Mexican. I only know wrestlers...Eddie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero, Gory Guerrero? Aka members of the best Mexican wrestling family there ever is, was, and ever will be. Have you ever been to Mexico? I haven’t. Would you ever want to go to Mexico? I would love to go to every possible spot in the world at least once, so it’s a yes for me.   Do you think you could handle being around people all the time? ...How is this related to Mexico lmao? Anyway no I don’t think I can. I’m a huge introvert so I’m bound to get tired some time. Do you like spicy food? I love it but only when the spicy factor is integral to the food, like in curries or in spicy dips. I can always tell if spiciness is artificial. How do you do with crowds? I’m alright with crowds as long as people are not screaming all at the same time and if it’s not super compressed. Is it hot where you live? Very hot at the moment. There are places in the country with actual heat indices of 65ºC. HOW IS THAT REAL LIFE????? Do you like bright colors? I hate them so much. Can you speak Spanish? No but I can understand the contexts of some sentences and have what I’d say is an extensive Spanish vocabulary. Makes sense if you consider the fact that the Philippine was under Spain for 333 years. The effects, especially language- and religion-wise, are still very very strong today. Have you ever been to a fiesta? Yup. I was once part of a parade. Ever smacked a pinata? Nah we never used those for my birthdays. What's your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? I don’t get Taco Ball because the branches that do exist are sooooo faaaaar away from where I live and from where I study. The Middle East Are you Muslim? Nope. Do you know any Muslims? I don’t know anyone personally but it’s not unusual to see Muslims around here.   Do you know anyone who wears hijab? Again, not personally. What are some of your favorite books about Muslims? Ever been to a desert? I wish the Philippines could count as a desert lmao but no I haven’t. Would you want to ride a camel? Is that ethical? I gotta make sure it’s a green-lit thing first. Did you watch the show Legends of the Hidden Temple? I was obsessed with it when I was younger. It was on every 5:30 AM, so it was the program I watched everyday while preparing for school. Korea Have you read To All the Boys I've Loved Before? Please don’t mention that stupid book/movie. ^Have you seen the movie? Did you know that North Korea is closed? I mean, it’s not literally closed; you can still book trips there but they’re still definitely super strict about what you can and can’t get away with. Would you ever want to visit South Korea? I already have. In terms of people’s niceness, they’re in the middle of Chinese (the shits) and Japanese (absolute angels). Most of the Koreans I dealt with were nice save for this one woman who shooed me away when I was taking a photo of something from her little bazaar. Have you ever had Korean food? YESSSSS I love Korean food so much, it’s so underrated. People gotta go deeper than sushi and Chinese fried rice cos there’s another East Asian with food that slaps as fuuuuuuuck. South America Have you read The Spirit of the Rainforest? I have not. Name one fact you know about Venezuela. I know nothing about Venezuela other than they also seem to be favorites in Miss Universe pageants every year along with PH. Do you know anyone who lives in Peru? I do not. That’s very far from where I’m at. Have you ever tried Peruvian food or drink? Nope. I definitely would if there were places that served such here. Have you ever been to South America? No. Do you know anyone from Brazil? I don’t think so. Would you ever want to visit South America? Yes. Name someone you know who owns llamas. Nobody. Do you like llamas? I like all animals except for cockroaches and other weird insects, so yes. Have you ever sewn on a loom? I haven’t had the chance to. Do you own a skirt from Guetamala? This is...specific. No. Do you ever wonder why we don't hear much about South America? Probs because people and media play a hand in painting it in such a bad light, e.g. poverty, drugs, crime and otherwise glorify its big brother North America as a place of freedom and diversity and liberty when it’s just as big of a shithole as anywhere else. But I’m glad social media exposes issues in countries that often go unignored, South American ones included. Thailand Do you like elephants? I LOVE elephants, they’re my favorite creatures. Would you ever be brave enough to try walking on stilts? I’d be so scared but wouldn’t be opposed to trying. Do you know about sex trafficking in Thailand? I’ve heard enough to be actively aware of it, but I don’t know specifics. Do you like Thai food? Obsessed.

Do you know anyone who's Thai? I don’t think so. United States If you live in the US, which state do you live in? Which states have you visited? Which states have you lived in? Have you ever been to Washington D.C? No. What is your favorite American food? I don’t know...I’m genuinely not sure what counts as American food because the ones I know were influenced one way or another from other cuisines. Maybe burgers? I love me a juicy burger with brioche buns, caramelized onions, and a mayo-based sauce. Do you listen to popular music? Hahahaha, guilty pleasure. Do you dream of having two kids and maybe a dog? Yesssss. ...and living in a two-story house with a white picket fence? House yes; not so much on the fence. Fences aren’t the norm here; people have big-ass gates instead. ...and having a good job and saving for retirement? Why is this just an American thing? Isn’t this like a people thing? ....where you can retire to Florida and live on the beach? Florida was never my ideal home. Did you go to college? If so, what was your major? I’m in college atm. Journalism. Were you abused by your parents? Emotionally/mentally/verbally. Do you know any nice people? ???????? I do, but I’m starting to dislike how general life questions were all clumped into the American category as if the whole world lives an American-centric life. Anyway IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS ROBYN MOVE ON How often do you bbq? What's your favorite ride at Cedar Point? Other What's the best family vacation you've been on? Palawan was amazing. It was a local vacation but it was so much good fun. What countries have you visited? My own; Japan, China, South Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia. What countries do you want to visit? Morocco, South Africa, Egypt, Canada, Peru, Malta, India, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia. Have you ever been to NYC? No. Do you live in a big city, small town, or other? Big city, but I live in the quiet, more suburban part of it so it feels small.

Do you live in the city or country? City. What is your favorite country besides your own? I never claimed that the Philippines was my favorite country hahahaha um I don’t have one. What country do you live in? The Philippines. What is your ancestry? Filipino, Malay, Austronesian, possibility of Spanish. Are you happy with the American government? Right now? It sucks. I only recognize and like AOC. What currency do you use? Philippine peso. Do you think you have an accent? Everyone has an accent. I don’t know why this is a question. Have you ever been told you have an accent? Sure.

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A little F•R•I•E•N•D•S survey just because.

Characters Favourite character? I relate to Monica the most but my favorite has got to be Chandler. Favourite male character? Chandler by a long shot. Favourite female character? Monica. Man, three questions in and I’ve already got my biases established ha. Favourite non-main character? Probably Jack Geller. Least favourite character (main)? Joey. I was always too impatient for his dumb ass. He’s adorable though.

Least favourite character (not main)? EMILY for days. They wasted so many episodes and storylines dragging her ass through them. I also kinda hated Amy. Funniest? Chandler, and this is going to be unpopular: Ross. He’s funny when he’s not being a jackass. Sweetest? ...Chandler. That episode where Monica ‘freaked’ him out by pretending to book a wedding venue when it turned out Chandler loved the place and ended up proposing to her was the sweetest. Best looking? Rachel. Girl’s style was always on point. Most mature? Phoebe trumps them all so hard. She lived through the Civil War, World War I, lost her mom, lived on the streets, and did so many shady things before landing in that apartment of theirs – she’s a kook but she’s a hella smart kook. Most immature? Has to be a mix of Joey and Rachel. And Ross.

Most annoying? Joey had his annoying moments especially the episode where he tries to speak French!!!!!!!!! but I love all of them just the same. Relationships Favourite couple? CHANDLER AND MONICA Least favourite couple? Joey and Rachel when they got together. I liked the slow burn that preceded the whole thing, but when the writers mashed them together, the execution was just ughhhh. I hated Ross/Julie, Monica/Pete, and Ross/Emily too. Favourite couple that wasn’t a main couple? Oh oof, I guess I’ve listed them all there. ^ Couple you wish would’ve happened? Chandler and Rachel. Their cheesecake episode was awesome.

Best friendship? Monica/Chandler and Joey/Chandler. The two that had the worst friendship? Phoebe and Ross were the two that just clicked the least lmao. Ross was too serious and too nerdy and Phoebe was more liberal and very eccentric. They had that debate on evolution once which I found hard to watch lmao, and not to mention that Ross is the biggest baby in the group whereas Phoebe had to grow up earlier than all of them because of her awful childhood. Couple you’re surprised happened? Rachel and Joey, obviously. Overrated couple? Ross and Rachel. They’re so hyped up when in reality, they were on and off for ten deadass seasons??? It was stretched for so long that it’s very easy to lose interest in it. Most underrated friendship? Phoebe and Ross, I guess. They weren’t very close, but I remember how Ross got Phoebe a bike when he found out she never had her own. That gets overshadowed a lot but I found that episode very sweet. Phoebe/Joey is also pretty underrated. You and them Which character would you be? I’m already Monica. Which character would you wanna be bffs with? Rachel hahaha. Monica’s too high-strung, Phoebe’s crazy, I’d get annoyed with Ross’ bitchfests, Joey is a little immature for my liking, and I feel like I’ll eventually get offended by Chandler’s sarcasm, so I’d go with Rachel.   Who would you date? Chandler. Who would get on your nerves? Joey or Ross. Who can you relate to the most? Monica AF. Organized, obsessed with weddings, obsessed with kids, loves spreadsheets, makes everything a competition, loves food, the mom of the group...all of this is me. Which character pulls on your heartstrings the most (gives you feels)? Chandler aaaahhhhhhhhh. Who would you makeout with? Monica. Show Funniest moment or episode? There’s a lot of em, so let me keep a list:

The episode with the quiz

Joey putting the pieces together about Chandler and Monica

“Ross hasn’t worked in the museum for a year” “Monica and Chandler aRE LIVING TOGETHER” “Ross married Rachel in Vegas anD GOT DIVORCED, /AGAIN/” “I love Jacques Costeau” “I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle” “I wanna GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Ross spelling out F-I-N-E

They don’t know that we know they know they now

Saddest moment or episode? Monica finding out they can’t have kids, Phoebe having to part with the triplets, Erica almost giving up on Chandler and Monica because they lied, and the final goshdarn episode. Moment or episode that melted your heart? When Monica made Thanksgiving dinner, only for Joey to ruin it because Monica had to answer the phone, then when Chandler told on Joey, she was like “I don’t care, the adoption agency called and we’re having a baby” :’( Best episode/moment? I can think of so many depending on what kind of episode you’re asking for, but the first ones I can think of off the top of my head are the quiz, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s resolutions episodes, and the one where Chandler and Phoebe pretend to be into each other to see who breaks first. Cringiest moment? A lot of Season 10 stuff was cringey just cos everything felt forced by that point. I also didn’t like the scene where Chandler was checking out their home-sitter’s bra because Monica was convinced she was stealing from her wardrobe lmao. Oh and the one with Ross’ list about Rachel. OH and Joey failing so bad at French. They def had their cringey moments lmao. Worst moment/episode? The one where Pete decides to be a UFC star(????) was so fucking random. There’s also an episode that shows their alternative lives - Monica was still chubby, Phoebe was a bitchy executive...I forget the rest because I’ve only seen it once cos the whole thing was pretty pointless. Best season? The ones in the middle. Best quote? “It’s an electric drill. You get me, YOU KILL ME” or “Gum would be perfection.” Joey Best trait? He’s adorably clumsy and he’s also pretty confident. Worst trait? He has his creepy tendencies, he doesn’t share food, and he’s too stupid for my humor to appreciate him. Who should he have ended up with? Definitely Phoebe. Was he just a player or a sweetheart? Meh. He was a player. If Matt LeBlanc couldn’t play him, who should’ve? Chandler His best season? I’m not familiar which season it is but it has to be the one where he decided he was going to marry Monica. Chandler was always the most insecure out of the six who had a lot of childhood issues and as a result, was perpetually afraid of committing and being serious and actually being an adult. Deciding that he knew he wanted to marry Monica is such an underrated pivotal moment for him. Funny or annoying? FUNNY.  Why did he have trouble with girls? Because he’s so awkward.  If Matthew Perry couldn’t play him who should’ve? Best trait? He really cares.

Worst trait? He hates himself and uses humor to mask everything lol. Ross Best trait? He’s a sweetheart and looks after the girls the most.  Worst trait? Immature and cocky as fuck and loves to kiss his own ass. Which of his gfs/wives do you like best? Rachel. Funny or annoying? I’m split. Everyone hates Ross but he’s actually pretty funny to me lmao, but only when he’s not being sexist or trash. If David couldn’t play him who should’ve? Smart or dumb? Academically smart, pretty dumb in life. Phoebe Best trait? She’s highkey the most mature of all of the friends. Worst trait? She can be a liar. Weird or awesome? She can be both!!! Best song? Either the Santa song (”Rachel and Chandler, hshsshhshsh handler!”) or the shower song (”And tegrin spelled backwards is nirget”). Both slap. Best relationship? That guy from Minsk, David. That highkey should’ve happened. Did she have a better friendship with Monica or Rachel? Tbh Rachel. Monica’s very...analytic and Phoebe doesn’t care. Total opposites. Did she really wanna get with Joey or was it all a joke? It’s all a joke, but I wouldn’t be surprised or offended if they ended up together in some alternative universe. Did she really hate Ross? Probably aspects of Ross, but not fully. Rachel Was she secretly a bitch? She was openly a bitch lmao. Best relationship besides Ross? I hated all of her boyfriends. Probably Joey. YEA I SAID IT Best trait? She grew up so much in the show and I’m so proud of her <3 She went from fully dependent on her dad’s credit cards to getting her dream jobs and being a really good mother and ugh, I just feel for her. Worst trait? She was still the biggest baby in the show. Monica Best trait? She’s the mom of the group. Nothing better than that. Worst trait? She was overly competitive sometimes. Put together & organized or a stressed mess? Definitely put together and organized. She was also stressed, but she was never a mess. Would you find it hard to live with her cause of her cleaning issues? No, we’d be the same more or less. Was Richard too old for her? Yes. Richard knew her since she was little, which makes it worse. Short or long hair? Long. Do you think the fat jokes are funny or mean? Mean, but then again they were jokes of their time so idk why people today are being SO LOUD crying foul over it. More questions Were they on a break? Yes they were. I will defend this to my death. They were on a break after that very bad phone call and Rachel immediately invited his dude-friend over without thinking of Ross. Ross had every reason to be with a girl. Was Gunther weird or kinda cool? He was cool. I loved that they kept him as a recurring character.

Should it have ended sooner, later or when it did? They ended it perfectly. Some elements of season 10 already felt inorganic and unnecessary, but if we didn’t get the last season then we never would’ve seen Chandler and Monica’s twins and Rachel getting off the plane. I’m fine with the way they ultimately paced the show. Based off looks, who of the six would’ve looked best together? Chandler and Monica.