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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

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shut in [5]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, threats, implied ptsd, violence

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: sam wilson nation how are we feeling after that trailer. only about a month to go for my two dumbasses to get the recognition they deserve!!

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Where are they?”

“We don’t know, boss.”

Their eyes glossed over with rising anger, masking its earlier aloofness.

“I’m going to need more than ‘I don’t know’.” Their voice was acidic, dripping with faux politeness. A bad sign.

“Police say they pulled off the highway at one point and then they lost track of them because there were no cameras.” The agent looked at his partner who only nodded in confirmation.

“They could have ditched the car before going on foot,” the partner suggested rather unhelpfully, “We have no idea where they could be”

They were silent, mouth pressed in a hard line, leaving everyone in silence.

“Have I told you about the time my dad hired someone to fix the sink here?” they finally asked, looking away from the agents. “Some drunk fuck got in a fistfight and absolutely decimated the thing. Dad got someone to fix the hole in the wall and the fitting.”

They turned away, facing the wall.

“He did an alright job, that guy. Fixed up the place, installed a new sink. But there was a problem that he said he’d be able to fix only the next day, something about water dripping through an unsealed pipe.”

The agents just sat there on their chairs, feet cold. They knew where the story was going. It was a myth at their organisation, a cautionary tale to everyone who joined.

“My dad, he agreed. Said ‘Yeah sure, come back tomorrow’. Guy packed up his bag and was on his way out when my dad called him back. Asked him to hold out his hand for the money and then he just,” they paused, “cut one of his fingers clean off. Told him that he’d get his payment and his finger when the job was done.”

“I loved my father,” They skipped a beat before whipping their head around to look at the two agents. “But he was a coward. I would have shot him in the head.”

The agents looked paler than what they were a few seconds ago.

“If I tell you to do something, either do it perfectly or don’t do it all because the next time you’re here and those two are still alive,” they sneered, lunging forward to grab one of their collars, “I’ll blow your fucking brains out. Do we have an understanding?”

“Yes boss,” the partner was barely audible, speaking for the one who was breathing heavily, looking like he was on the verge of passing out.

“Go on then.” They smiled, letting go of the agent’s collar as he stayed frozen in his place. They dusted their hands off before straightening up. “Don’t return without good news.”

The frustration of not knowing something was not one you were used to.

You were used to knowing. The satisfaction of a puzzle. The ease of a predictable pattern.

So when this mystery wasn’t getting solved within twenty minutes, it was starting to affect you. You spent hours staring at the ceiling, replaying every detail for months leading up to the case. Every client you shook hands with. Every coworker you greeted with a nod. Every vile sicko you had killed.

And yet, no matter how much you thought and rethought and rethought again, it simply didn’t make sense. There was a piece missing. A hidden variable.

Sam helped wherever he could. He offered up arguments and rebuttals. If you had a theory, he’d find the flaw or the lack of proof. He was keeping it reasonable. Only snorted when you suggested that maybe the president was involved in a large scale extermination of underground mafias. A absurd theory that had no roots in reality.

“You could point out any official on the damn senate and they would have some connection to our gang that you can dig up with one Red Bull and twenty minutes on the internet,” he had said. “It’s too much of a liability if we get caught. They’ll just get exposed for all the nasty shit they’ve been hiding under the carpet.”

You knew this, of course, and it didn’t help to be reminded of it again because it also meant that one more theory was ruled out. And with each theory ruled out, the further away you were from your answer.

It was frustrating.

Sam was in front of the TV, lounging on the couch with the copy of Pride and Prejudice in his hands. You were working on plausible solutions, drawing up flow charts to see what could be connected.

If Pierce wasn’t the common link then it had to be something else. You couldn’t proceed with the other spies theory because no one else immediately sprung to mind. There was one... but you decided against writing it.

If Ransone was telling the truth, and there was no way of knowing he was, Sam and you were unrelated and his being there was coincidental. You just had to rely on the employee-employer relationship you shared, if you could even call it that.

“Fuck,” you cursed loudly, tearing up the piece of paper and crumpling it. You groaned, holding your head in your hands. Your eyes were burning from straining it for too long and your shoulders were in pain from slumping over the table all day.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head before instinctively reaching for another sheet. Your hand came up short so you fumbled around the table blindly, trying to grab at a piece of paper without spending the extra effort of searching.

“You’re not getting another sheet,” Sam’s voice came from above you. “You’re going to watch some shitty movie, eat some soup and relax for today.”

“Give it back, Wilson,” you muttered, reaching out your hand.

“No. You can use your unhealthy coping mechanism when I’m not around to see it. Half of this is my mess too and I’m not going to watch you have a breakdown over it.”

He was going to be annoyingly persistent; somehow he had exhibited that magnificently over the last few days. You knew better than to argue with him over something that he had made his mind up about by now.

“I don’t want to watch a movie.” You let your head fall onto the table, wishing that the cool wood would do something for the headache you felt coming.

You heard him set the paper back down, not saying a word. Your head was throbbing and all you wanted was the frustration to ease. It was killing you.

“Come on. We’re going outside.” That piqued your interest. Sam had never invited you anywhere before.

“Where?”

“Y’know; the outside. I know you haven’t seen it in a while but see if these words jog your memory. Sun. Grass. Win-”

“I know what the outdoors is, Wilson.” You smiled against the table, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing it. “I’m asking where exactly we’re going.”

“You’ll see. Put some shoes on.”

By the time you looked up he was already walking away from the table, leaving you to follow.

You sighed. He sounded too determined and you didn’t have many other options.

Pushing your chair away from the table, you went to go put on your shoes. __

“If in care you were planning to, I’m just going to tell you right now that you can’t kill me.”

The both of you had been wandering along the path for a while. When you met him by the backdoor, he had a bag with him filled with who knows what.

He declined to tell you what was in it either, despite you asking thrice.

“Calm down, Keanu Reeves. That’s not what I was going to do.” Sam gave a short laugh.

“I’m serious. I know karate.”

“So do I.”

“Krav Maga.”

He hummed in agreement.

“Kickboxing.”

“Now you’re just insulting me. That’s level one.”

The path was littered with tree roots that stuck out of the soil, stray branches and leaves that crunched satisfactorily under your feet. One second of distraction and you were sure you’d fall flat to the ground.

You both continued for a few more minutes before he finally came to a stop.

It didn't look very different from the rest of the woods until something caught your eye. In front of you, one of the trees stood out. The bark had large concentric circles, resembling a large dart board. A few indentations were already made in it; clearly it was being used for practice regularly.

“Here you go,” he spoke from beside you, handing you a tomahawk. “Go ahead, throw it at it.”

You looked at the tiny axe in his hand.

“Think of it as adult darts,” he encouraged, “Here, I’ll throw the first one.”

He extended his arm in front of him, pulling his wrist back before effortlessly throwing it at his makeshift board. It was two circles away from the bullseye he had carved out. It must have taken a while to make.

“This doesn’t look very safe,” you commented as he picked up another one, launching it at the tree. You followed its trajectory, watching it embed itself into the bark closer to the centre than the previous turn.

“That’s what makes it fun.” This man had no regard for safety protocols. Given, these were things that came with the job but it didn’t mean you did it in your free time. “It helps, just try.”

“Why are you doing this?” you asked curiously, trying to assess his reaction. Pulling you out of the house for a bar game wasn’t exactly the type of thing people generally did for you.

“Because I wanted to.” He shrugged, not giving you any further explanation. “Try one.”

“Okay.” You followed his example, watching as it glided smoothly before landing close to his initial throw.

“Nice shot.”

A smile made its way to your face automatically as he handed you another one. You repeated your action, an unusual sense of pride establishing itself in you when it came closer to the middle.

“Now what?”

“Now we collect and do the whole thing again till you feel better,” Sam replied, making his way towards the tree and plucking the small axes out easily. His back muscles tightened against the material of his shirt in the process. It wasn’t a bad sight at all. “Endorphins and all that.

“Is this where you keep disappearing to?” you inquired, taking two of them from him when he returned.

“Sometimes.” He took aim before throwing it at the board. “There’s a few things you can do around here.”

“Your coping mechanism is extreme sports without proper guidelines.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Sam took a step to the side, giving you space to take your turn.

“Have you always been this wise, or?” you teased, concentrating on the circles in front of you. Your shot came pretty close.

When you didn’t receive a reply, you glanced at him through your peripheral vision. He wasn’t moving, a thousand yard stare in his eyes.

“Hit it.”

“I can’t.” His fists were bleeding through the bandages wound around them. He could feel the tear in his skin, the burn of flesh against sweat soaked clothes.

“I said, hit it,” Emil commanded once more. Sam could feel his chest rising and falling steadily from beside him, his putrid breath making him want to vomit.

“I can’t.” He could barely stand up. Exhaustion seeped through every muscle in his body.

“You’re weak,” his trainer spat. “Nothing but a fucking child.”

“He’ll die.” Sam looks down at the boy, bloody and mangled on the floor. He had passed out ages ago but that did nothing to stop them from forcing Sam to continue relentlessly.

“It doesn’t deserve mercy. You hear that Wilson?” He leered right into his ear. “Do you fucking hear that?”

Sam flinched, nodding his head. The saltiness of his sweat was fresh on his tongue, burning where it dripped onto his busted lip from his forehead.

“So fucking finish it.” He knew that if he didn’t listen this time, there would be consequences. He didn’t want to find out what it was because he had no doubt it would pain a hell of a lot more than bruised knuckles.

“No,” he whispered, eyes wandering over the body on the floor. “I won’t.”

“What’d you say?” Emil straightened up, taking a step towards him.

“I said no.” Sam turned around on his heel. He could barely stand straight but the spite running through his veins was driving him, giving him enough energy to not collapse right there on the spot.

“He said no,” his trainer repeated, leaning away from Sam. “He said no.”

He turned to look at Ransone. Sam had forgotten he was there in the darkness of the room, observing the fight for the past two hours.

“He said no.” He started chuckling. His chuckles soon gave way to hideous laughter. Stomach clutching, tear inducing laughter.

Before Sam could even realise the change in attitude, Emil’s entire demeanour shifted. He stepped forward, forcefully gripping Sam’s neck. He shoved him backward until his back was pressed against the wall, no doubt bruising his spine further than what it was.

“Say that again, you fucking idiot,” he growled. But Sam couldn’t say anything. He could barely breathe. He was terrified, but determined not to let it show on his face. “When I say something, you better fucking listen.”

His trainer observed his expression for a few more seconds. Sam didn’t open his mouth.

His trainer finally loosened his grip, letting go of his neck.

Sam’s knees nearly buckled but he kept his balance, coughs racking through his body. He felt lightheaded, swollen eyes watching Emil walk towards the body on the floor. The only friend he had.

“Maybe this oughta teach you a lesson.” Emil flashed a quick smirk at Sam before raising his fist above Riley’s face.

Within a split second a guttural cry escaped his throat as he launched himself at the much larger trainer, taking him by surprise. The pure rage he was feeling had him seeing only red, the adrenaline steering his body on autopilot.

With their position suddenly switched, Sam found himself on top of Emil, bloody fists beating down on his face without a break. The pain didn’t even matter anymore.

“Fuck you,” he screamed, not giving him even a second to defend himself. “Fuck you, you fucking dickhead.”

When he could feel his trainer raising his arm to grab from behind, he took a pause from pummelling his face to grab his arm, twisting sharply it till he heard a crack. The roar escaping Emil’s throat didn’t dissuade him from finishing what he started, returning to landing a punch wherever he could.

He didn’t even know how long had passed before his body was being pulled away, kicking and cursing.

“You see how good it feels Wilson? You feel that relief?” Ransone held him tightly as he squirmed furiously trying to get back to beating the shit out of that asshole on the ground. “Next time you’re angry, remember that’s the only way to feel good. If you’re in pain, you cause pain.”

Sam’s flailing was reducing as the adrenaline wore off. The exhaustion was beginning to take hold of his body as he looked at the onslaught of blood splatter everywhere, two bodies side by side on the ground. He did this to both of them.

“Violence is your only friend. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Ransone let go of him. His feet gave out beneath him, chest rising and falling heavily. His shoulders ached as he dragged his body towards Riley, praying to every force in the universe that he wasn’t dead.

He was still breathing. Sam nearly cried out of relief, collapsing next to him. Ready to defend him if Emil woke up.

“Next time you want to let out some anger, come find me,” Ransone called out. “I’ll find you your next victim.”

“You okay?” You waved your hand in front of his face. “Earth to Wilson.”

It seemed to work as he snapped back, blinking rapidly.

“You zoned out a little there. Everything alright?” you asked. He looked at you blankly for a second before realising what you asked.

“Yeah.” He gave you a half smile. “Yeah, I’m good. You done with your turn?”

The light that was there behind his eyes a few minutes ago had dimmed considerably. He looked weary. You recognised what had happened, what he was probably thinking of. You didn’t bring it up, not risking the chance of him reliving it.

“Kinda.” You pointed towards the target where a tomahawk was sticking out of the centre.

“Damn,” he whistled, resting his hands on his waist. “Best of three?”

“Didn’t know it was a competition.” You went to collect it. It was harder to pull out than you thought. You wondered how many times Sam had practiced it to make it look so effortless.

“Only if you want it to be.”

“Nah.” You walked towards him, handing two of them back to him. “Maybe next time.”

“Next time, huh.” He tested his throw before letting go of the handle. Bullseye. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

You only smiled.

Next part

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yume-fanfare · 4 years ago

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wonder egg priority has a lot of unreliable narrators:

(spoilers under the cut, a long explanation/thoughts on neiru, ep 11 and ep 12 and some theories. feel free to add on! this got long lol)

all we know about neiru's sister, who supposedly stabbed her and then killed herself, was told to us by neiru, who had been told so at the icu.

we have barely seen her statue. and neiru is essentially lab-made, we do not even know what exactly constitutes as a sister. she doesn't know her parents, her sister was not mentioned at all in her focus episode, nor does she appear in the ed like the other statue girls

for all we know, maybe she didn't even have one and:

she was lied to at the icu

she was implanted fake memories

she lied to us

point 1 is the easy solution, and point 2 is included because i think it's possible, given japan plati's impressive technology. but, in the end, they mean the same thing: they position her as on "our side", a deceived girl. she was born with a purpose, for a reason, with a mission to accomplish since the beginning, and she has been raised for that.

neiru, kinda like the accas, grew up under watch, and was essentially treated like an experiment during her childhood. they can even see her Dreams, i don't think she has much privacy. even if she is the president of the company (interesting, her business card said vice-president), she may not have that much power. she is a child, after all, prodigy or not

point 3, however, is interesting, as i've seen people point out her growing resemblance to koito, the person ai is fighting for. neiru was the first girl to be introduced to us, and it looked like she'd been fighting longer than ai, yet she has not finished yet (it's interesting, really, how they're completing their missions in reverse order). neiru also knew about japan plati's involvement but didn't say anything. i don't (want to) think she's Malicious, but there may be something weird going on with her

so, in my opinion, i lean more towards points 1) & 2), but who knows

episode 11: the entirety of frill's story is told by ura-acca

now, i don't think i have to explain why ura-acca is unreliable. the accas have been suspicious since the beginning, filling a kyubey sort of role in the story, the ones who drove the girls to fight

so, they are unreliable narrators. they're sexist, and have odd views on the world (the comment on girls and boys suicides). neiru called them out on the suicide thing on an earlier draft, we know their words are not to be taken as truths

truth is, we don't know if frill killed acca's wife. ura-acca couldn't possibly know either, he wasn't there. we don't know about himari either, much less about all the other girls frill supposedly "tempted to death"

many others have pointed this out: the accas are looking for someone to blame, to try and make sense of a tragedy. i don't think frill has a "magic button" that she can just press and make people kill themselves. she could also just be a metaphor, too, to symbolize a death wish. but, what is a fact is that, as they've said, there isn't a link between the suicides, other than "it Must have been frill because people don't kill themselves", which is the accas' opinion, not a fact

and well, i have watched Bad anime where the conflict was, indeed, that the villain could magically make people kill themselves, but said anime was bad since the beginning, you know

the whole "someone to blame" appears with the wonder killers too. it's not like there was one single thing that drove them to the edge. ai 2 was bullied at school, sawaki isn't the Only problem she had. if he disappeared her problems would still be there, just minus one. kotobuki didn't actively kill herself, she died because of an experiment, so her reaction to seeing her wonder killer was just "huh, yeah, i guess this is the guy that annoyed me the most". the idol fans from the 3rd episode were following another person, the girl who saw ghosts wasn't antagonized by a single person. however, this is the system set up by the accas, because they think it works.

i think everything, eggs and statues, are an artificial environment that can be set up just by pushing a button, because that's how they think frill did it

and why do they do it?

there has to be an ulterior motive. even if they are deluded and truly doing it "for himari", whatever it is that they think they'll achieve, there has to be a more clear explanation or they wouldn't have gotten that many other people into it. someone pointed out, at the end of kotobuki's episode, that it looked like they had made her neiru's wonder egg so she'd turn off kotobuki's life support, and, it could be. they're also, well, mannequins, that's a huge thing we don't know about yet. at first i thought maybe it was some research on immortality, but i'm not so sure about that anymore

kotobuki's case is very interesting. it's the first one that heavily implies the egg was especially made. kotobuki had been monitorized her entire life, so wouldn't be too hard to turn her into an ia, input her personality into an algorithm and tune it in neiru's dream.

so, who's to say all the other kids weren't like that too. none of the girls knew them to say "hey, they're acting different than usual". i think the accas took them from news reports about suicides and inputted them into the program, in neat little folders, one in relation to each of the girls. ai 2 could have been made simply out of their regular monitorizing of her since the beginning

and, how do the girls who committed suicide come back to life? do they really. do they really. we Still don't know if they really do and it's interesting that they still haven't shown us

episode 12: mr sawaki and the dream worlds

the conclusion i got from ai and the wonder killer's battle was that that sawaki, like all the other elements in that dream (koito), were all ai's perception

the wonder killers are cartoonized and exaggerated versions of the real person they're modelled after. sawaki wouldn't say out loud all those things, he's not stupid, and neither did any of the other wonder killers actually say All of That to the victims.

the entire monologue, thus, as ai points out, was supposed to be all in her head. because the fishy things she'd seen were all from her point of view, and she hadn't actually seen him do anything wrong, so maybe she had misunderstood, and that's why she gives her mother her blessings in the end, because he's actually a nice man

things like momoe saying he rescues cats, and seeing a creepy shot of a Lot of cats instead of a tender one of him holding a kitten, were all ai's image of him

so, all of it was supposed to be just an unreliable narrator

now, i, personally, don't like this. the aged-up painting titled latent heat is plain creepy and kinda gross. and that was a real-life Fact, unaltered. someone said that maybe ai was being naive, but episode 12 is a bit late for that

so. mr sawaki redemption arc. how we feeling folks.

please feel free to tell me your thoughts about this! i'd love to hear them, maybe i'm just being too sceptic lol

#wonder egg priority #wep #the sawaki thing was the reason i wrote this #bc it's what bothers me the most #but the accasa and frill part was also worth mentioning and neiru was supposed to be an example that got too long lol #wondegg #mar's midnight rambles

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thewhitejournal · 4 years ago

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“The Intern” Part Three

Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader

(not my gif)

hello all! i am so sorry for the wait, i know it’s been quite anticipated by some of you. i just got a little stuck but hopefully things are rolling again and going my way with the story so, please enjoy! :) the first part is here and the second part is here in case you haven’t read either yet.

feel free to message me/comment if you want to be tagged in future updates :)

content warnings: minimal cursing, light mention of abuse and violence

disclaimer: i am not a writer for criminal minds so therefore i cannot write the details of a case to save my life. i hope you can enjoy it despite the fact.

The pilot helped you halfway up the stairs to the jet; you walked with caution so you didn’t get your heels caught on a step. Boarding the jet, you turned to your right and walked into the cabin. All the teams’ eyes were on you, including Aaron.

“You all know our intern, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’ve invited her on this case, she’s on the team for now so treat her as such.” He told the rest of the team sternly. They all muttered things like “you got it” and “of course”. It made you smile. They were all very accepting of you already.

Morgan, Reid, JJ and Prentiss were sitting in the four chairs that faced the table, files and pictures spread out all over it. Rossi was on the couch, legs propped up on it as well. The only spot left where you could converse with the team was next to Aaron on the loveseat. You watched your feet as you walked past him, sitting down next to him. You still didn’t make eye contact with him, just the four that were currently discussing the case and their theories right in front of you. You tried watching him out the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t get a good look, and you didn’t want to be too obvious either.

“Maybe there was some kind of trigger with the original Oakland County killer? Reid, what do you know?” Derek asked; all eyes were on Spencer now. Spencer sighed, shaking his head.

“The Oakland County Child killer was never caught. They had a DNA profile, but it didn’t match either suspect or anyone else in connection with the case. So there’s no way to tell.”

“So this probably isn’t an exact copycat, right?” Despite your nerves, you spoke up. The teams’ heads turned to look at you. You were still trying to learn, but that didn’t mean you weren’t afraid to mess up in front of them. They were the professionals.

Derek shrugged. “Probably, that’d be my guess too.” Some of the other guys nodded their heads; you didn’t miss the upward twinge on Hotch’s lips. You weren’t sure what that meant, but surely it was good, right?

“Morgan and Prentiss, you’ll go to the crime scene, see if there’s any type of signature on the body or at the scene. Dave and Reid, I want you to go talk to the parents, see what you can find out. JJ, you, (Y/N) and I will set up at the station.”, Hotch said. At the mention of yours and JJ’s name in the same sentence, you two made eye contact. She gave you a bright smile, and you returned it. You liked her already; her energy was so pleasant to be around.

Of course, you didn’t slide over the fact that Hotch said your first name so casually; your heart fluttered at the sound of your name on his lips. The team nodded curtly, gathering the contents of each file and compiling it again. The jet would be landing in about an hour, and everyone resorted to their forms of ways to pass the time.

Morgan plugged in some headphones and laid against the seat, getting lost in whatever was flowing through those speakers. Reid pulled out a book, flipping through the pages at a speed you couldn’t do while also understanding the material. Rossi opened the file again, eyes flickering over all the material. JJ held a light conversation with Prentiss about their personal lives; you didn’t listen in, even though they were among everyone else and it wouldn’t have necessarily been considered rude.

Your leg was crossed over the other, body facing away from Hotch, but you started to lose feeling in the leg on the bottom, so you switched, crossing your ankles. Your body shifted closer to Hotch; this was entirely coincidental, but he changed positions at the same time you did. He brought his knee up and sat in a way that his leg was against your thigh. You’d expected him to move, but he didn’t. You felt frozen; sure, you didn’t mind the physical contact, even something so small. The thing you were really worried about was the team or even Aaron noticing that you were flustered, so you tried your best to keep your feelings under wraps.

Distracting yourself with the case file seemed like the best option at the time, so you opened it up and read over all the details again, gory and sad as they were. Suddenly, it felt like Aaron moved even closer to you. Surely he was teasing you or something at this point. You decided to take the risk and look over at him, but not before making sure the rest of the team was preoccupied first.

He was reading a book; you couldn’t tell what it was, but the size of his hands made the book look so tiny in his palm. You watched his fingers move so gracefully as he turned the next page, and you looked up at his face. His light brown eyes moved back and forth as they took in every line on the page, but suddenly he slowly turned his head and looked at you.

You wanted to look away, but it was like you were in a trance of some kind. His eyes searched your face, and he looked different than usual. His expression was soft, like how you’d seen in the picture on his desk of him and his son. He looked genuinely relaxed; even though you hadn’t known him long, you knew this was very rare. The left corner of his lip twinged upwards into a tiny smile, and how could you not return it? The exchange was small, but not to you.

You both turned your attention back to the reading material in your hands, a smile on your face. There was one trying to show on his lips, too.

The ride to the police station was short; Aaron drove while you and JJ sat in the back. She made conversation with you about your life and you asked about hers, which you didn’t mind. But all you could think about was Aaron was listening to every little detail you shared about yourself, gaining knowledge about you while you had little to none about him. And it’s not like he probably wouldn’t have figured out most of these things on his own; it is his job, after all, to figure people out. He was damn good at it too.

Hotch parked the car out front and you all got out. He held the door open for you and JJ, but you didn’t walk in first. You left that up to either Aaron or JJ. Hotch took the lead, which did not surprise you in the least. The sheriff greeted him almost immediately.

“Hey, thank y’all so much for coming up. It means the world to us. I’m Sheriff Bradbury.” The two men shook hands. Aaron turned his body so you and JJ were more visible to the sheriff.

“These are agents Jareau and (Y/L/N).” Your heart felt like it was going to burst; he introduced you as ‘agent’. You’ll admit, the sound of it was nice to hear. The sheriff reached out to shake yours and JJ’s hands, giving you an acknowledging nod.

“Everything you requested is just in that room there.” Sheriff Bradbury gestured to an empty conference room with a whiteboard standing against the wall and a box of what you assumed to be the case files and other information you hadn’t yet been provided with.

“Thank you.” Aaron told him, giving him a curt nod and walking to the room, you and JJ in suit. There were only about three or four boxes on the table, which didn’t seem like much to you, so that was a relief. Some of the boxes were files and evidence from the case that the current unsub seemed to be copying; most of the boxes were older. There seemed to be not much information on the newest case. But you were sure that was going to change soon.

Hotch thought it would be a good idea for a pair of fresh eyes like yours to analyze the older case files, so he started showing you what to look for and how easiest to find connections between the two cases. He said he would help you look over them because the information on the ‘77 case rivaled the files on the new one in an outstanding amount. JJ started combing over the finer details of the newest case but watching the two of you interact at the same time.

Aaron sat in the office chair next to you, looking over and perceiving the information in front of him much quicker than you could. You had to keep reminding yourself that he did this every day, and this was your first time. Being next to him calmed the nerves you had wiring inside you though; it was unexplainable. Something about his presence was just so...right, to you.

After having settled into your seat and your role, for the most part, you realized it was a bit chilly in the conference room. You pulled your blazer closer to your body, clasping the button on the front. JJ unrolled her sleeves and buttoned them at her wrists, attention never breaking from the papers in front of her. The slight chill to the room seemed to have no effect on Aaron, which didn’t surprise you. He was still reading over the file in his hand, dark brows furrowed on his forehead.

A sudden shiver went down your spine.

“It is kinda chilly in here, hm?” JJ remarked, rubbing her arms. She pulled her suit jacket over her shoulders. You just chuckled at her statement. You liked the little small talk and the fact that with each passing second, there was no awkward silence. Suddenly, Aaron sat the file that was in his hand down on the table and pulled his arms from his jacket, removing it. JJ raised a brow slightly at this, watching his next move. You were too, just trying not to make it as obvious.

The jacket was in his hand now and outstretched to you. Your face began to heat up. JJ watched for your reaction, but Aaron didn’t look over at you.

“Thank you Hotch, but I’m okay-“ He interrupted you. He looked over at you now, a soft look in his eyes but the small stern look still on his face.

“I insist, (Y/L/N).” Shyly, you took it and draped it over your shoulders, returning to your work. Mostly so that your face was faced more towards the papers and not to him, just in case your cheeks were red. As you turned away, you swore you saw a little smile on his face.

“Thank you.” You mumbled. He hummed in an acknowledging tone.

The jacket was warm, almost a bit overwhelmingly so. It smelled like him, too. The actual smell was hard to place, but it made sense that that’s what he smelled like. Maybe a little bit of cinnamon and vanilla, oddly enough. It was a very cozy and homey smell, and you loved it. You resisted the urge to snuggle into it; you imagine it was almost as good as actually hugging him.

Some time passes as the three of you read over the material in front of you. You read some police reports of some of the suspects in their younger years; they acted out quite a bit. The main suspect was the focus of your attention; he had been charged for things like vandalism, arson, all the way up to domestic disputes with his girlfriends. It didn’t make sense to you. These activities usually describe several different types of unsubs, not just a single one. Not all of these crimes usually fit in with one type of killer.

What was also strange to you was the fact that the original killer strayed away from one gender in his victims; the reason why was usually harder to put a finger on. There’s usually no sexual motive behind someone like this. You were just remembering things from what you’d seen at the beginning of some of your textbooks. The types of killers you might see and how they act. That was about all of the information you had on them though; your further work went more into the technical side of things. You liked being in the field, but you felt useless. You didn’t have the kind of knowledge the rest of the team did about this type of work. Hopefully, you could contribute, you thought to yourself.

“Anyone find anything?” Hotch spoke up. This was your chance. Even though you hadn’t found anything solid, it was still something. But you waited to hear from JJ first. She sighed, shaking her head. Aaron looked over at you. You cleared your throat.

“I saw that the main suspect in ‘77 had a lot of charges in his youth, but they’re all over the place. I just don’t think it makes sense.” Your eyes didn’t leave the paper in front of you. But the two agents’ gazes were on you. You felt it was probably best to meet their eyes, as much as you were surprisingly afraid to meet Aaron’s. You looked up, eyes meeting JJ’s first.

“I mean, he was charged with arson and domestic violence, several times for both. We don’t usually see unsubs with so many outlets for their rage, right? Usually, they just pick one and stick with it.” You looked over at Hotch. His eyebrows were knitted together, but his body language suggested he was open to your ideas. One arm propped up on the table, the other resting in his lap, his body turned towards you. The palm of his hand that was on the table outstretched, motioning for you to hand him the file. You complied immediately.

He read over it, seeing what you meant. “She’s right. Usually, it’s either physical violence or arson, not both.” JJ nodded in agreeance.

“So what does that mean?” You asked aloud to no one in particular. Suddenly, Rossi and Reid enter the room. Your body froze, not because you were cold this time. You remembered Aaron’s jacket was still over your shoulders. You shrugged it off so that it fell behind your back, hopefully before Spencer and Rossi could notice.

“The parents said Nathan was on a gaming website where chat rooms were available and that’s likely how the two met. The unsub probably lured him out that way. He likely asked Nathan to meet him in real life under the ruse that he was around Nathan’s age. Was that Hotch’s jacket?” Spencer stated, then asked the question as if it were nothing. Your face started to grow red and JJ tried to hide a smile. Before you could object or try to say anything in defense of yourself, Aaron spoke up.

“The unsub has evolved, its unlikely it can be the same unsub or anyone close to them. The original suspect would’ve continued luring his victims without any technology, stuck to his ways.” You saw Rossi smirking at you and Hotch, realizing Reid’s observation was correct.

“So this unsub is like a modern-day version of the original?” JJ asked. You agreed silently, as did most of the team. They continued discussing the details of the case and new things they’d found, along with Derek and Prentiss who’d just entered the room a minute or two ago. They talked about what they saw at the crime scene, which wasn’t much. You couldn’t focus on anything they were saying or if you had anything to contribute, plus you weren’t sure what to say. You had zero experience with how to work an actual case, you’d only done a couple of exercises at the beginning of your classes.

“(Y/L/N)?” Hotch’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. It was just the two of you in the room, for the first time. You hadn’t noticed the rest of the team had left. You looked over at him, shaking your head internally. How could you be so out of it, in the middle of something so important? Maybe you were better off as a tech analyst, as much as you wanted to be as close to Aaron and the team as possible.

“Sorry, I guess I got kind of preoccupied.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing and closing your eyes.

“With what?” Aaron asked you. You scoffed lightly, turning and getting his jacket from behind you and handing it to him. His brows were knitted together as they usually were, but his eyes were a softer brown, filled with something you might place as concern. He reluctantly took the jacket, draping it over his knee. “Is everything okay, (Y/N)?”, he questioned again. Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of your first name on his voice.

“I don’t think I’m right for the field.” He didn’t answer you; he just sat there, listening for what you had to say. You sighed. “I never know what’s right or wrong to say,” you continued, “I don’t know what it means when an unsub acts the way they do or anything that you all are already skilled in. Maybe I would just be better in Quantico, behind a screen.” For some reason, it felt like a confession. You felt guilty, maybe that you’d disappointed him in some way.

“(Y/N), I’m not going to tell you where to go or what to do. Go wherever you’re more comfortable, there’s no pressure. But while you’re here, I want your head in it. Can you do that?” You only nodded, hardly meeting his eyes. His hand rested on top of yours, pulling your eyes to meet his.

“I’m here for you.” He said in a low tone with a small smile, patting your hand. You returned the smile, looking into his amber eyes. Something in the air sizzles between the two of you, but you can’t quite place what the feeling is. But it feels mutual.

He stands, pulling his jacket on. “We’re going to check into the hotel, do you want a ride?” He starts gathering his briefcase and all the files he was looking at together.

“No, I think I’ll just walk.” You say slyly, flashing a smile at him. He looks concerned for a moment like he didn’t realize you were kidding. But then he chuckles, looking at the floor. Your smile grows wider at the fact that you made him laugh.

“Come on, (Y/L/N).”

“Yes, sir.”

tags:

@dilaudidwinchester

@awriterincrime

@art-and-thoughts

@royallybookish

@bihoeofmanyfandoms

#fanfic #fanfiction #literature #romance #original story #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds oneshot #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fic #thomas gibson x reader #thomas gibson #david rossi #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #derek morgan

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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years ago

Text

Director Kate Herron calls from her childhood bedroom. She's staying at her parents' home in Southeast London for the summer, having spent the past year apart due to the pandemic and directing her latest series, Marvel's Loki. "It's so surreal seeing the show go out," she says over Zoom, "and being in the room that I was last in as a teenager."

Loki's first three episodes have seen the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) team up with Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson) and the all-powerful Time Variance Authority to track down a fugitive Variant of himself: A female Loki that goes by Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) who's set on blowing up the Sacred Timeline and, with it, the MCU as we know it.

"My dad, bless him, he was never into Marvel before, but now he's obsessed with it," she says. "When I got the job, he started watching his way through the films, and he's got all these different YouTubers that he now watches for theories, and he tries to get spoilers out of me. He's like, 'What does it mean?!' and I'm like, 'Dad, I can't tell you!' It's very sweet, but very funny."

Now, with three episodes left of the season, she's bracing for their first family viewing experience. "I might not be able to, though. I might be like, 'You have to watch it by yourselves and then we can talk!'" she laughs. "Wait to hear the Loki theme and be like, 'Oh, I can go downstairs now.'"

In the meantime, Herron fielded all of ET's midseason questions about making Loki's bisexuality canon in the MCU, flexing more of his magic than ever before and why Sylvie isn't really Lady Loki or the Enchantress.

We are halfway through the season. Outside your parents, how has the reaction felt so far?

It's been amazing. We had these big ideas in it -- like, about free will and good and evil -- and wanting to [know that] if we're going back in with Loki because he's so beloved, that it's going to be a good story for that character, but some fresh terrain. I think the response has been pretty joyous and it's just so fun seeing what people are liking, what people's theories are. I couldn't be more happy, to be honest.

Being someone who appears pretty online and active on social media, how deep are you going into reading what people say and diving into those theories and all that?

I definitely read a lot of them -- I don't comment on them -- but I used to love Lost and Game of Thrones, and I was on Reddit, commenting, like, "Ooh, maybe it means this or means this," and I think that's the fun thing with our show, right? Our fans are so smart and it's fun seeing what they're getting right and what's not right but is very interesting. The Easter eggs they dig up are always amazing to me. Some of them we put in there, and I'm like, "Well, let's see..." and I'm like, "Oh, they found it!" So, it's really fun tracking it online. It's very weird directing something where you know every frame will be [screen]grabbed by some fans because they're looking for stuff.

I loved your tweet about why it was important for you to confirm that Loki is bisexual in the show. Not really reveal -- because he's bisexual in the comics -- but make that canon. Talk to me about having those conversations with Marvel.

I think it was something very important to everyone. And I felt like, OK, how can we acknowledge this? We have aspects of the story that are there, so how do we build this into the story so it feels earned in the moment? I didn't want it to feel like we were just wedging something in, but we had this beautiful scene where these two characters are being really raw and really honest about who they are, and I was like, "Well, it is a part of who he is and who they are." For me, talking with Michael [Waldron] and Bisha [K. Ali], it just felt like it was the right moment for that line. This episode is really beautiful for me, because it's these two characters getting to know each other, so in that sense, it felt like the right place for that conversation to happen. And I thought it was done really beautifully by the writers.

Obviously, like I've said, it's very personal to me, and I said it was a small step in some ways -- because obviously, he's just talking about it -- but in the bigger scale of things, I'm like, oh no, it's massive actually. If I saw that when I was 10, it would be really big for me. It's been really nice getting comments from people online. Some people were like, "It helped me actually talk about how I feel to my family and helped me come out." And I thought, "Well, if it helped one person do that, then it's worth it."

This is the MCU's first lead character who is openly queer. Did you know that? Were you aware of how big a milestone this would be?

Yeah. Well, in some senses, yes, and in some senses you're never sure, right? Because [Marvel is] so secretive about all their other projects. [Laughs] For me, I was like, I'm telling Loki's story, it's a part of who they are and I just want to acknowledge it. It's canon in the comics and if we can make it canon in the films, that would be amazing. When I came on board, I was like, if there's a way to do this, it would mean a lot to me and, I'm sure, a lot of people. But it was very welcomed, and I think we're all very proud of how we did that.

This may be getting into spoiler territory that you aren't able to talk about, but acknowledging one's sexuality is one important part of representation, seeing it play out through relationships is another. Can we expect to see any further exploration of what it means for Loki to be bisexual in this show?

I'm trying to think how to answer your question. [Laughs] I would say in our story, this is how we acknowledge it. But I hope that that paves the way for deeper exploration.

We're halfway through the season. What were your biggest goals in these first three episodes?

I think the biggest one was obviously, the Loki we're with in this story is on a completely different path, so it was tracking his character in the sense that he basically sees this amazing arc that the other Loki had gone on across the MCU movies, he sees that he reconciles with his brother, but that wasn't him in that moment. He's watching a different version of himself. But seeing that moment and seeing that he has room for growth and change is really interesting with our Loki, because he's in a very different headspace. So, it was tracking, what's familiar about this character from the Loki that we've seen over the last 10 years go from villain to antihero? And what is going to be completely different and completely different sides to this character that we get to now dig our teeth into? That was something really important to me and to Tom and the writing team, and it was really fun unpacking that and what his identity means.

The other challenges, honestly, were just setting up the TVA, because it's outside of time and space and giving that a grounding and a reality and making that feel like a whole new exciting corner of the MCU. That was a big responsibility, and I was really excited by that. And then you have the bigger arc of the story, but you also knowing it's going out weekly on TV. So, how are we going to track this week by week. Where are we leaving the characters and what are we leaving for the audience? Something we always thought about was we knew there'd be discussion week to week, so it was like, "Where are we going to give them certain bits of information across the show?" We wanted to provoke conversation and discussion about even just things like free will, you know?

I will say about the TVA, I'm basically a human Miss Minutes stan account. I think she's the baddest bitch in the MCU. I watch every Miss Minutes fancam that pops up on my Twitter feed.

She's incredible! What I love about it is that she's in our first episode and she actually used to come out of the presentation that Loki watches -- she came out on the screen -- but it was too crazy. We were like, "OK, we can't do that in the first episode. We'll do it in the second episode!" But what I love about her is that we're seeing the TVA through Loki's eyes and it's, like, the status quo, right? And if our status quo is a Southern-talking, Roger Rabbit-style clock, the show is going to probably get quite weird. I think that's what I love about her. And obviously, Tara [Strong] is awesome. Yeah, Miss Minutes is a lot of fun.

You talked about exploring who Loki is and could be. He's always had an arsenal of powers, but in this series, you really get to explore and define what his power set is. What were those conversations like?

That was something else, coming in, I was so excited about. We have six hours of him, let's see some more magic. Because across the comics, he's super powerful, and for example, in the last episode, that's what was so exciting to me about that, the oner at the end of episode 3 was that I've seen a lot of oners but I haven't seen one with magic. So, I was like, let's put loads of magic in there! We get Loki using his telekinesis and his magic blasts and then also Sylvie, as well, and her powers.

For me, it was exciting getting to bring those in in a way that pushed the story forwards. Because I get it, when he first lands in the TVA, they can't use magic, so I know if I was watching, I'd be like, "What? No magic?!" But I think that's the fun thing is, we still have three episodes to go and also it was fun to put him on Lamentis and see him using his powers in different ways. It was definitely something important to me and the team, was to get to show a little bit more of him. But across the films, you can only do so much. Now we have six hours, so it felt like, of course we have to delve into that more.

I don't know if you saw this on Twitter, one of my favorite reactions to episode 3 was someone tweeted a screenshot of Sylvie screaming and her hands glowing and wrote, "she did the meme!!"

[Laughs] That's great!

We've now officially met Sylvie, and we're starting to piece together that this may be sort of a hybrid character of Lady Loki and Sylvie Lushton, the Enchantress. Are you able to confirm that you pulled from both to create your Sylvie? Or is that something that's to be further revealed?

I would say there's more to be delved into. One thing I would say is, like, she's different to the comics. Like, she's a unique character, but obviously, there's things that have been pulled from. I think for her character, she's on the run and she's called Sylvie and she's dyed her hair. The blonde that we associate with Sylvie is played in that sense, but it makes sense for her character within our story. But I would say deeper than that, yeah, there's more to be revealed about her character to comes.

The main thing I would say is: Lady Loki in the comics is a very different character to our character, obviously. I love that character and I think she's got a very different journey. But our Sylvie is a female Loki, in that sense -- because in episode 1 and 2, they know it's a Loki they're tracking -- but I think that's part of the discussion. It's almost like Loki -- as in Tom Loki -- he's like, "Wait, how much of my life have you got? Who are you?" And I think that's the real question is, who is she? So, we will discuss that as the show goes on. Why does she not like being called Loki? What's her past? Where did she come from?

Tom and Sophia have such great chemistry, but how challenging was it for you and Michael and Sophia and the writers to create a character that essentially has to match up with our Loki, who's had however many films to become the fan-favorite character that he is?

It starts in the writing. Because she's a unique creation, and that was exciting and I was intrigued where they were pulling from with the comics. I was like, OK, that's cool. Beyond that, I think it's casting it. Sophia is an incredible actor. I've worked with her before. She has this fire in her and she brings this amazing vulnerability to all her characters, but she's also, like, so funny. It's just, so many of these things she always brings, I was like, they're so Loki. So, I was like, "We've got to get her to read!" And we were just all blown away by her read of it.

She definitely can hold her own. That's the other thing, as well. I know her, and I was like, she will hold her own. I know she will. Because she's going against Tom's Loki and that's such the fun thing about them. Even just on the train, where it's the end of the world and Loki's solution is, "I'm going to have a party and I'm going to have a drink. I'm going to have a lovely time." And her solution is, "I'm not going to have a glass of champagne, thanks. I'm going to focus on the mission of getting off the moon." Those little differences is what's quite fun about them to me. How are they different, and how are they the same?

Was there something you got to do as a director in these first three episodes that you had never done before that you were especially excited or nervous or both to tackle?

I suppose so much of the show, right? Because I've done a lot of drama and a lot of comedy, but they were like, "Here you go! Here's the reins to this massive, genre-driven piece where you have to set up a new corner of the MCU and you're going to have this beloved character." There was a lot to carry. But I'd say in terms of something I was excited about, only because Kevin Feige was teasing me, when we filmed the big oner at the end of episode 3, I was really inspired in the writing, because it sounded like you were really with the characters. I love doing long takes anyway and I remember thinking, "Oh man, this sequence feels like the one that we should do as this oner," because I want the audience to feel like they're with Sylvie and Loki in this moment, and it's also a moment where you finally start to see an apocalypse and it feels more real, because you're seeing the horror and the terror that's going along with that.

For me, that was exciting, but the really cheesy bit that made me so excited is they had these foam rocks that fell on people, but it felt like real movie magic to me. I was so obsessed with the rocks. I was like, "Oh my god. This is like real, big Hollywood filmmaking." And I remember Kevin Feige was like, "You can take a rock home, if you want," and I was like, "Oh my god!" So I have this rock. It's in bubble wrap now, and I'm going to unpack it when I move into my place. But that's probably honestly the most excited I've ever been. [Laughs] I was just so excited by the rocks. Oh, and also, I remember when we were at Roxxcart and Tom gets thrown into those robo dogs, I was obsessed with the robo dogs. He was like, "I think this is the happiest I've ever seen you." So, those are my favorite moments on set. The foam rocks and the robo dogs.

Somebody's going to come into your flat in the future and there's going to be a shelf with just a rock and a robotic dog on it.

Mhmm! And I'll be like, "Yeah, guys, I did something." [Laughs] They'll be like, "What is this...?" But the foam rocks are genuinely amazing, because they look like real, heavy rocks, but they're so light. I was so fascinated with them. I was so excited. I made a lot of low budget stuff before this, so it was a big deal to me.

My favorite part of the first three episodes is the Kate Berlant cameo. How did that come to be?

Basically, I love comedy and my producer, Kevin Wright, does as well, and we were trying to think of people that could be fun. We've got Josh [Fadem] in episode 1, and that was a miracle. I just spoke to her about the part and was like, "This is a very small role, but if you're interested, you're very talented and you're so funny." And she was like, "You know what? That sounds really fun. Renaissance faire? Yeah, I'll come do it." So, it was very kind of her to come down and do that for us. She's so funny, man. She's so funny.

Do you let her riff at all?

We did. We have a lot of alts and a lot of very extended bits of her talking to the Minutemen. I think there's one where she talks about a bird show at the faire. She's so funny. I was very flattered and grateful that she did that for us.

I'm going to start the #ReleaseTheKateBerlantCut campaign. I want a whole episode of her alts. Or she can be the new Stan Lee and cameo in every MCU project. Before I let you go, if you had to choose one word to tease these upcoming three episodes, what is that word?

Hmm. I thought of one word, but then I'm like, it's spoiler-y, so I can't say that. [Laughs] Oh, one word. Exciting? I have to say "exciting," because I can't say the other one I wanted to say!

#Kate Herron #Loki #interview

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mittensmorgul · 3 years ago

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Can’t everyone use tumblr how they want?

YES!

This site is exactly what people make of it for themselves. That was the exact point of that post. The fact that people reacted negatively to it at all proves my point. Seriously.

I have a number of other anons that are clearly from people who don't actually follow me, and are only here in a reactionary fashion having seen it on someone else's reblog, or else heard about it in passing and decided the best reaction to an ultimately harmless and rather bumbling post was to take personal offense and bring anonymous hate to a stranger on the internet. (and at least one not-anonymous "go kill yourself" type comment on the post itself)

THAT was the point of making that post.

For people who might be new to this fandom or new to tumblr in general (or even for people who have been here for years), your experience here is exactly what you make of it. I haven't seen that sort of vitriolic kneejerk reaction to anything I've written or posted in years. That post touched nerves. So it was a bit of an experiment, and I'm sorry to everyone who experienced any of that negativity second-hand. NOBODY should be made to feel like shit when engaging with something that is supposed to be fun. But I've learned over the years that that's exactly what some people consider fun.

There are new people to this fandom since the absolute free for all of the weeks after November 5th. We all reveled in those weeks before the show collapsed in on itself two weeks later. It was like 15 years worth of Hiatus Blogging followed by... well... some of the worst genuine hurt and disillusionment I've ever experienced or witnessed inflicted on a fandom by a piece of media.

There have to be at least a few people who floated into this fandom during that emotional roller coaster who want to make sense of it all, who were at least curious enough about how a show could've brought the characters to that emotional moment in 15.18 before effectively ignoring it all and burning the entire 15 year narrative to nothing just two episodes later.

Some folks stuck around to dig through the ashes of fandom in search of carrion, and that's fine. Some have zero desire to ever engage with the show or the fandom beyond mocking it for ever having existed at all, and that is also fine! But some folks? They might be wondering why anyone ever saw anything in this narrative to begin with, and they might be interested in knowing that there is this vast collection of information available to them (funny that none of my self-righteous anons even mentioned those, outside of one pointing out that my phrasing introducing that section of links was easily interpreted as condescending... which... yeah... again that was the point, and no I will not edit that language. none of us are free from sin).

Tumblr hasn't "changed." It was always this way. This site is not a monolith. Fandom is not a monolith. Even smaller groups within fandom aren't monoliths. Things that are considered "tumblr standard etiquette" do not exist across this entire website. And even within the supernatural fandom, and even within the tumblr-destiel-portion of the fandom there aren't "rules" dictating how you interact with anyone. Well, the one specific rule we should all be able to agree on is that you don't bring hate to real actual human beings, and yet...

There has ALWAYS been the option to engage with fandom here on whatever level an individual chooses. And that hasn't really changed since the finale aired. Anyone who thinks that Tumblr or the fandom has "evolved" or "changed" has likely just fallen in with a different fandom bubble then they'd existed within before. None of the bubbles have actually popped or disappeared. But which one you experience is entirely your own choice. You curate your experience here.

That was the point, illustrated by the vast array of comments I actually got on that post, structured with a little bit of everything including "tumblr mom from 2014." Everything pisses some people off, you know? Even the perception that some stranger on the internet might dare to lay down an arbitrary "rule" that zero people actually have to follow. See what I mean?

Because if any of the people who kneejerked at it actually followed me, or knew me at all, they wouldn't have kneejerked. They would've seen the point.

So your experience is what you make of it here. There are resources for people actually interested in engaging with the narrative or the fandom or the history of it. People mock "tumblr moms" or "fandom moms" all the time, but there wouldn't ~be~ a fandom without the people who actually build those resources. I.e. adults with the time, money, and personal investment in actually sustaining the fandom, instead of running around with torches trying to burn it down at every new whiff of perceived ~drama~ to latch on to.

For example, all of the scripts we've been acquiring and sharing with the entire fandom free of charge. I know that the fandom bubbles who seize on those scripts like hungry vultures to cough back up out of context "gotcha" posts postulating whatever theory of the differences between script and screen will dredge up the most drama or outrage in their fandom bubble... they haven't even considered how those scripts were acquired and made available to them. To them, they are "leaks." They are gifts that fell out of the sky and landed in their laps. There isn't even the barest curiosity about their origins or relevance beyond whatever social nourishment they derive by making up stuff and spouting it out with unearned authority. It's sad. But if that's how they enjoy the fandom, it's nice to remind them that none of the fandom they cannibalize would exist without the rest of us, too.

Yes, even the people you disagree with. Even the people who ship the things you find disgusting or repulsive. Even people who have an entirely different experience to your own. Even the people who are only here for those gotcha posts.

Fandom is not by nature a nihilistic shitshow, or no fandom would survive the amount of drama the 1% try to bring to it. Here have a fanlore article about this phenomenon. Right now, in Supernatural fandom, it feels like more than 1%, but I promise it really is only 1%. They're just really loud. There's actually other avenues to participatory fandom available to anyone who chooses to find them. Parts of this vast fandom that aren't focused on that 1% of reactionary leg-chewing at every turn. None of them are (as the linked article confirms) truly 100% free of unnecessary drama or bad behavior (including ME, I mean I MADE THAT POST!), but on tumblr you can curate your own experience. Fandom actually can be fun without burning down the thing you claim to be a fan of, or attacking other real human people for having the audacity to exist on the internet in a way you might believe is out of touch or pathetic. Seriously, nobody deserves to experience that from anyone over a fucking television show. Like seriously, take a step back and examine your life and your choices at that point.

Tumblr was exactly the same as a fandom community when I joined as it is now. Throughout my entire time here, I've curated my own personal experience to exactly what I derive the most personal satisfaction from. During that time I have had numerous friends and mutuals lament that their personal experience had become so toxic, but they were afraid to trim those blogs from their dash for fear of having no content left to engage with at all. For years there have been follow lists and blog recs and people desperate to find a more "peaceful and fun" fandom experience. People grow exhausted and embittered when their entire experience of fandom is an emotionally draining drama train. It's like pandemic doom scrolling, but for the thing that should be a respite from that sort of mindset, something that's supposed to be entertainment. The show did enough to us all, we don't have to turn around and re-inflict it on each other day in and day out on tumblr dot com.

So if even one person saw my post and thought well shit maybe I actually want to engage with a wider swath of fandom and see what's there, after seven months of post-finale drama, this whole other region of fandom is still here, still being the curators of the archives, the creators of stories and art and meta and gifs and videos and actually caring about it all that will keep this fandom going long after the current round of exhausting drama inevitably plays itself out.

The amount of in-group language in the negative replies I got was unsurprising. It's like folks are living in an alternate universe that doesn't mesh at all with what I experience on this exact same hellsite. Almost like we exist in entirely different bubbles of fandom, with entirely different purposes for existing at all. Everyone on this hellsite gets to pick which bubble (or bubbles) to take up residence in. Some people simply forget that their personal bubble isn't the universal defining experience of this site. Unfortunately, I doubt my little disruption to their bubbles will actually make any of them see that, but you anon... I think you did.

You are highly encouraged to engage with fandom EXACTLY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE. You have the ultimate power in controlling your entire experience here. Tumblr and Supernatural Fandom on tumblr is not Just One Thing that everyone who wants to participate in must conform to one specific code of ethics or behavior to be part of. And that NOBODY has the right to tell anyone else they're doing it wrong (including ME! I am 100% including myself in this!).

It's not MY job to dictate how anyone else experiences this fandom, as much as it was not the job of the people who reblogged my post (which I did not personally shove into their eyeballs with a demand for compliance... how did any of those people even *find* my post?) solely to tell me how *I* need to change how I experience the fandom, you see? Don'tcha love hypocrisy!

But the point was made for those who care, and a lot of people got to update their block lists (I still don't block anyone, as I said I curated my fandom space here and generally don't follow folks that don't personally make me happy and enrich my life by engaging with their content. However other people choose to engage with *my* content (any of it, going back nearly 50k posts over the last decade) is their business entirely. Sometimes I just feel the need to draw out people who are all too eager to expose their own whole asses in public. Mission accomplished.

#fandom problems #and again i'm sorry that anyone i know was exposed to ugliness because of this #but everyone i know also knows that i'm probably the least easily upset person in this corner of the fandom #if even one person achieved a modicum of self-awareness that their experience is not universal #that there IS no universal experience even #then i guess the point was made

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

Text

TLTNL- FELIX FELICIS

Remus helped her out at once, speaking while trying to pull his thoughts together at the same time to somehow get an answer. "I'm wondering now if Voldemort has, cursed objects?" It didn't seem right, as even if he did, what could be the significance of that in relation to Harry surviving the prophecy?

"Your thinking that necklace that cursed Katie belonged to him?" Sirius tried to understand where he was heading, his mind on an entirely different matter, like how all this tied back to Voldemort wanting to go after Prongs for any significant reason.

"You think Voldemort tried to slip him one over the summer, and failed? That's what could have started all this?" She prompted, her mind lingering on their old headmasters injury. It was hard to believe he'd fall for such a ruse though, and she still felt like they were missing the real significance of what was going on here.

"If Malfoy's supposed to be helping with something, maybe Harry's right, and he's trying to get one of these treasures of his into the school somehow. For a reason that can't be good." James uneasily agreed.

"And it walked right in the front door because of me," Harry said, but the nausea wasn't quite right for that feeling, he was sure they weren't on the mark now.

"We could be entirely wrong," Remus quickly disagreed. "When he was young, he kept treasures on his person, I'm sure he treated those like a secret. Why hand them out now?"

"Because now he knows how to curse people," Harry rebutted far harsher than he meant to, but he refused to let this theory slip away from him, back into the recesses of his mind. He was right, and he wouldn't let this one go.

When no one else offered anything, he reached eagerly for the book, but Lily held it to her instead. "It's getting late, we should probably stop for dinner before anyone else nearly gets murdered."

The dower comment wasn't much to wet their appetites, but no one disagreed either. Harry picked restlessly along his meal, not even realizing what he was eating. This really was one of his more mild years, he had to admit, and yet with each passing page he could feel something terrible lurking on the edge of his mind, waiting for him to let his guard down and spring upon him.

It was as noticeable to the others as it was the guilt they felt for seeing it. Sirius had tried in vain several times through the meal to catch Harry's attention and put him on a lighter topic of conversation, but it was clear he would not be pulled from whatever unhappy thoughts he was lingering in. They almost wished it wasn't his turn to read, so that they could try and put off a little longer and put him in some sort of good mood before he started, but in his preoccupation he hardly even seemed to recognize his audience as he began.

Harry had Herbology first thing the following morning. He had been unable to tell Ron and Hermione about his lesson with Dumbledore over breakfast for fear of being over-heard,

"They didn't wait up for you this time?" James demanded in mock outrage far louder than was called for, but he was still as determined as the others to snag Harry's attention.

He barely glanced up, muttering about their prefect duties that night in answer before plowing on.

but he filled them in as they walked across the vegetable patch toward the greenhouses. The weekend's brutal wind had died out at last; the weird mist had returned and it took them a little longer than usual to find the correct greenhouse.

Ron quietly said what a scary thought it was, the kid You-Know-Who, as they took their places around one of the gnarled Snargaluff stumps that formed this terms project, and began pulling on their protective gloves. He didn't get why Dumbledore was showing him all this. It was sort of interesting, but what was the point?

Harry agreed he wasn't sure as he put on his gum shield*, but Dumbledore had promised it would help him survive, though his words were now slightly contorted.

"I'm sure they can still understand you with that in your mouth," Sirius rolled his eyes, he found them bulky and extremely annoying to talk through. It didn't help Moony had once given him one on his birthday as a hint.

Hermione earnestly pointed out how fascinating it all was, it made absolute sense to know as much about Voldemort as possible. How else would they find his weaknesses?

"I'm not disagreeing," Lily said grudgingly.

"It wouldn't kill the man to get to the point a little faster though," James huffed, he really felt like this was all dragging a bit.

Harry changed the subject and asked how Slughorn's party had gone.

Hermione said enjoyable for the most part. He prattled on a bit about all the famous people he knew, but he also invited a few of them, like Gweong Jones, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies.

Harry beamed, and didn't wait for anyone to ask why, "I hope Ginny was at that one then, she'd have loved that! It's her favorite team!"

Professor Sprout came over then to tell them to get to work, Neville already had his first pod.

"I demand a reason I need to fight with a plant rather than chat with my friends, the second is definitely more useful for my life," Sirius huffed.

They looked around; sure enough, there sat Neville with a bloody lip and several nasty scratches along the side of his face, but clutching an unpleasantly pulsating green object about the size of a grapefruit.

"Was he working all by himself?" Lily asked, impressed. She often did as well, and especially in that class it could prove difficult with some of these larger plants, this one especially. It had taken her at least the first twenty minutes of class to manage this, and she was sure from this conversation they hadn't been talking that long.

Harry had already agreed he was and moved on.

Ron quickly agreed to appease her, but waited until she'd walked away before muttering to Harry they should have used Muffliato.

"She still would have noticed you aren't working," Remus disagreed.

"Yeah, then she would have likely even taken away points, putting a spell up trying to distract her," James agreed with a sigh.

Hermione at once, like she always did, looked intensely cross at the thought of the Half-Blood Prince and his spells.

Lily smiled privately to herself, really wondering at what Hermione's reaction was going to be if she learned the origins of that book. She really wasn't even sure if Harry did, though she'd very likely inform him at the end of the year when the teacher would no longer be there, for whatever reason she still wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Now she changed the subject by telling them to get to work.

They all took deep breaths and then dived at the gnarled stump between them.

It sprang to life at once; long, prickly, bramble like vines flew out of the top and whipped through the air. One tangled itself in Hermione's hair, and Ron beat it back with a pair of secateurs; Harry succeeded in trapping a couple of vines and knotting them together; a hole opened in the middle of all the tentacle like branches; Hermione plunged her arm bravely into this hole, which closed like a trap around her elbow; Harry and Ron tugged and wrenched at the vines, forcing the hole to open again, and Hermione snatched her arm free, clutching in her fingers a pod just like Neville's. At once, the prickly vines shot back inside, and the gnarled stump sat there looking like an innocently dead lump of wood.

"Lovely things, aren't they," James wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"I remember I once tried to feed some snotty little third year into one for asking why I was in the wrong common room that morning," Sirius smirked. "What?" He demanded of Lily's agitated look. "He came out with a dozen of those little pods, I really should have gotten a thanks!"

Ron casually suggested he wasn't planning on putting one of these in his garden as he wiped sweat from his face.

"No Lily," James said at once when she opened her mouth.

"Oh, but, the pods-" she began to wheedle.

James purposefully wouldn't look into her pouting face, knowing he'd cave in an instant to her ever growing garden idea.

Then Remus helpfully tacked in, "actually, I wouldn't mind helping prune this one, perhaps even give it a snack from time to time. See how Padfoot likes it," he finished with an obvious look at his friend, who scowled and pressed his hand to his heart in betrayal.

Harry still couldn't be distracted by any of this. Not his memories of wrestling a plant, his family having just a nice conversation around him, even Ginny's briefly coming to mind had faded just as quickly so that he wasn't aware of anything anymore than the gaping hole in his mind where the answer to Voldemort, to everything this year should sit. He wanted to skip right past all of this, find Dumbledore's next lesson and keep going with that and come back for this mess later, but he knew the others would never agree.

Hermione held the pulsating pod at arm's length; Harry handed over a bowl and she dropped the pod into it with a look of disgust on her face.

Professor Sprout called to them not to be squeamish and pop it fresh.

Hermione decided to continue their interrupted conversation as though a lump of wood had not just attacked them,

"What do you mean that's not perfectly normal?" James politely asked.

Lily couldn't tell if he was kidding that time.

about Slughorn's parties, and how Harry had been invited to the Christmas one. Slughorn had specifically asked her to check Harry's available dates to be sure he could come.

"I will demote her to passing friend along with Neville if she didn't lie!" Sirius said at once.

That did get Harry's attention, he never really did like it when they made cracks at Hermione like that, even in defense of him. That was his friend after all, so he swiftly returned, "you'd have done the same thing if one of these two had annoyed you so much recently."

Sirius contemplated that for a moment, before nodding along and saying, "true, revenge and forcing them to live it with me at the same time. Alright, I'll take it back."

"Good," Harry chuckled. "I'm the only one allowed to demote my best friends from anything, and it won't ever be happening."

They were all just pleased Harry had finally reacted normally to something!

Harry groaned. Meanwhile, Ron, who was attempting to burst the pod in the bowl by putting both hands on it, standing up, and squashing it as hard as he could, asked angrily, that this was just another party for Slughorn's favorites?

Hermione said yes, and the pod flew out from under Ron's fingers and hit the green house glass, rebounding onto the back of Professor Sprout's head and knocking off her old, patched hat.

"Well she can't say you aren't working anymore," Remus said with chipper.

Harry went to retrieve the pod; when he got back, Hermione was saying, she wasn't the one to name it the Slug Club.

Ron repeated the name with a sneer worthy of Malfoy.

"Ugh," Harry heard those around him mutter, but he honestly couldn't have put a better comparison at the time. He was sure it was unintentional on Ron's part, but it didn't mean Harry enjoyed it either. He braced himself anyways, getting the feeling Ron may be getting just a touch on his nerves of late, it definitely wasn't declining the more the Slug Club was brought up.

He insisted the name was pathetic, and so were these parties. Was Slughorn going to make her and McLaggen King and Queen Slugs?

James couldn't help but snort a bit at that, it was quite comical. Incidentally, didn't that make him and Lily heirs to that throne?

Hermione was turning scarlet now as she said they were allowed to bring guests, but if he thought it was so stupid she wouldn't bother asking him!

"Ha, that's brilliant!" Lily chuckled. "She certainly put him in a spot, deciding not to share this until after he'd badmouthed it all."

"Now if he goes, it'll be obvious he's only doing it for her company," James agreed, finding Hermione quite clever, though that wasn't anything new.

Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them.

"What's with you?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Unlike you two privileged souls, these were my two best mates having this right in front of me, not one of them whom you didn't have to pick sides for," Harry finished with a huff, feeling it was obvious.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look before deciding it was lucky no one in their group had ever succumbed to this problem.

Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation.

"I actually wanted details of that," Sirius smirked.

"Like cracking it against Ron's head," Remus agreed with a sly smirk that Harry didn't need to question, Remus wasn't picturing Ron.

Ron had a very different tone now as he confirmed she was going to ask him?

Hermione sounded more angry than anything as she said yes, but if he'd rather she take McLaggen, she would.

There was a pause while Harry continued to pound the resilient pod with a trowel.

Ron said in a very quiet voice he wouldn't prefer that.

Harry missed the pod, hit the bowl, and shattered it.

He hastily used the 'Reparo' charm on it, poking the pieces with his wand, and the bowl sprang back together again. The crash, however, appeared to have awoken Ron and Hermione to Harry's presence.

"Darn, and it was just getting good," Lily sighed, actually looking a bit disappointed. It would be nice to finally have some definitive answer so these two would quite jumping around the subject. This had been a very good opportunity for such a thing, and she hoped they picked it up when Harry wasn't around.

Hermione looked flustered and immediately started fussing about for her copy of 'Flesh-Eating Trees of the World' to find out the correct way to juice Snargaluff pods; Ron, on the other hand, looked sheepish but also rather pleased with himself.

Hermione took the pod from him, explaining they were supposed to be using something sharp to pierce the pod.

Harry passed it all to her while he and Ron both snapped their goggles back over their eyes and dived, once more, for the stump.

It was not as though he was really surprised, thought Harry, as he wrestled with a thorny vine intent upon throttling him;

"Can't think of a better description for dealing with this," Remus snorted.

he had had an inkling that this might happen sooner or later.

"I'm glad, otherwise you'd be more daft than Lockhart of all things!" Sirius smirked.

But he was not sure how he felt about it.

"That's a bit fair, awkward transitioning phase and all," James shrugged.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Harry's had time to transition since at least his fourth year," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"It's one thing to be thinking it, it's another to witness, and still yet another to see in action. Have yet to see that last one," Harry sighed.

He and Cho were now too embarrassed to look at each other, let alone talk to each other; what if Ron and Hermione started going out together, then split up? Could their friendship survive it? Harry remembered the few weeks when they had not been talking to each other in the third year; he had not enjoyed trying to bridge the distance between them. And then, what if they didn't split up? What if they became like Bill and Fleur, and it became excruciatingly embarrassing to be in their presence, so that he was shut out for good?

Harry sighed as both options were laid out like that. He wished someone would tell him it would all work out and neither extreme option was going to happen, but he also couldn't help but appreciate no one was giving him another false security. They just had this awkward look on their face, like they knew better than to say anything, so he just ran his hand through his hair to lay it flat and concentrated very hard on that sense of peace he could still cling to when he thought of his friends, confident that would never fade.

Ron suddenly yelled in triumph, pulling a second pod from the stump just as Hermione managed to burst the first one open, so that the bowl was full of tubers wriggling like pale green worms.

The rest of the lesson passed without further mention of Slughorn's party. Although Harry watched his two friends more closely over the next few days, Ron and Hermione did not seem any different except that they were a little politer to each other than usual. Harry supposed he would just have to wait to see what happened under the influence of butterbeer in Slughorn's dimly lit room on the night of the party.

Harry grumbled a bit more and shifted restlessly in his seat. He wasn't truly worried, that wasn't the right feeling, he may even be happy for them. There was just an anxiety over their relationship he couldn't quite place, like it would come back and bite him hard eventually.

In the meantime, however, he had more pressing worries.

Katie Bell was still in St. Mungo's Hospital with no prospect of leaving, which meant that the promising Gryffindor team Harry had been training so carefully since September was one Chaser short. He kept putting off replacing Katie in the hope that she would return, but their opening match against Slytherin was looming, and he finally had to accept that she would not be back in time to play.

"Oh, the poor thing!" James sounded as remorseful as if he were just receiving the news all over again she was in the hospital.

Harry did not think he could stand another full-House tryout. With a sinking feeling that had little to do with Quidditch,

James looked confounded, like it was hard to imagine anything that didn't relate back to Quidditch in some way. His questioning eyes sought out Harry's, who merely shrugged. "If it doesn't explain all the reasons, I will. Mostly though I thought it was obvious, I don't want another full-House tryout spectacle."

"I guess," James muttered, hoping that game hurried up already.

he cornered Dean Thomas after Transfiguration one day. Most of the class had already left, although several twittering yellow birds were still zooming around the room, all of Hermione's creation; nobody else had succeeded in conjuring so much as a feather from thin air.

"That spell always seemed more like a charm to me, conjuring things rather than, well, transforming them," Remus grumbled.

He outright asked him to be on the team, and Dean said of course at once.

Over Dean's shoulder, Harry saw Seamus Finnegan slamming his books into his bag, looking sour. One of the reasons why Harry would have preferred not to have to ask Dean to play was that he knew Seamus would not like it. On the other hand, he had to do what was best for the team, and Dean had outflown Seamus at the tryouts.

"So it's only fair then," James quickly agreed, and Harry gave a lackluster smile back.

Harry said that was settled then, and told him when the next practice was.

Dean cheered, and at once muttered about going to find Ginny to tell her the news.

Harry huffed a bit, and the others thought he was still so put out about his team no one noticed his mutters about him having to tell Ginny this first.

He sprinted out of the room, leaving Harry and Seamus alone together, an uncomfortable moment made no easier when a bird dropping landed on Seamus's head as one of Hermione's canaries whizzed over them.

All five of them got a snort out of that, perhaps they weren't quite over their foul attitude of his last year.

Seamus was not the only person disgruntled by the choice of Katie's substitute. There was much muttering in the common room about the fact that Harry had now chosen two of his class-mates for the team. As Harry had endured much worse mutterings than this in his school career, he was not particularly bothered, but all the same, the pressure was increasing to provide a win in the upcoming match against Slytherin. If Gryffindor won, Harry knew that the whole House would forget that they had criticized him and swear that they had always known it was a great team. If they lost. . . well, Harry thought wryly, he had still endured worse mutterings. . . .

"There's the bright side," Lily half managed a giggle. She'd never really be invested in this sport for all the trouble it caused, but the clear stress it was putting on her son couldn't be played off either, so she was happy to see he was trying to look up all on his own.

Harry had no reason to regret his choice once he saw Dean fly that evening; he worked well with Ginny and Demelza. The Beaters, Peakes and Coote, were getting better all the time. The only problem was Ron.

Harry had known all along that Ron was an inconsistent player who suffered from nerves and a lack of confidence, and unfortunately, the looming prospect of the opening game of the season seemed to have brought out all his old insecurities.

Harry sighed and fidgeted with the pages, it was clear his apprehension was mounting. She almost wished he had picked McLaggen now for the team, even if it would have caused extra strain between him and Ron, surely his best friend would have gotten over it and faced facts there was a better player? She sometimes worried he was too loyal, and look where that had gotten her until the last straw.

After letting in half a dozen goals, most of them scored by Ginny, his technique became wilder and wilder, until he finally punched an oncoming Demelza Robins in the mouth.

"Foul," Sirius said in what he clearly thought was a helpful tone of voice while they all winced.

Ron profusely apologized, while Ginny called him a prat for giving her a split lip.

Harry zipped over and fixed it with the Episkey spell.

"Was that really safe?" Lily couldn't help but scold him. "You'd only had the spell done on you once, you really should have someone explain that to you more before you go using it on others." She only realized after the fact her words weren't helping anything, his mouth seemed permanently set in that uneasy frown, so she soothed her tone and finished with, "but it was very sweet of you, and I'm glad you learned it."

Then he turned on Ginny and told her not to call Ron a prat, she wasn't Captain.

Ginny merely said he'd seemed busy, and someone needed to.

Remus snorted in surprised agreement.

Harry forced himself not to laugh.

"You're a better man than some," James clucked his tongue and was very clearly trying not to do the same, while Sirius and Remus were having no such restraints.

Overall it was one of the worst practices they had had all term, though Harry did not feel that honesty was the best policy when they were this close to the match. He made sure the team heard his thoughts of them flattening Slytherin tomorrow, and the rest left with good spirits.

When he and Ron were alone in the locker room, Ron slumped into his seat and called himself a sack of dung.

Harry insisted he was no such thing, he was the best Keeper. He only had some problems with nerves.

He kept up a relentless flow of encouragement all the way back to the castle, and by the time they reached the second floor, Ron was looking marginally more cheerful. When Harry pushed open the tapestry to take their usual shortcut up to Gryffindor Tower, however, they found themselves looking at Dean and Ginny, who were locked in a close embrace and kissing fiercely as though glued together.

"Urgh, not something you ever want to walk in on," Remus said with a stank eye at the redhead in here, who was blushing faintly while James wasn't bothering with anything except a smirk. Sirius had never been any better, nor subtle, hardly ever waiting until he was alone to parlay in the same practice.

Harry really didn't need to ask, nor was he even paying it much mind.

He felt like screaming, though at no one in here. His fist clenched so tight the ring upon it actually felt strained on his finger. He'd never felt such a powerful feeling in all his time here, not even in his memories, and for once he read on looking for some kind of name to put to this newfound surge.

It was as though something large and scaly erupted into life in Harry's stomach, clawing at his insides: Hot blood seemed to flood his brain, so that all thought was extinguished, replaced by a savage urge to jinx Dean into a jelly.

"I knew it!" Lily smirked.

"Knew what?" Harry demanded, still fighting back that burst of outrage.

"You've been paying more attention to Ginny for ages, and now you're out and jealous," she finished with a giggle.

"Jealous?" Harry tried to snap in protest, but it came out as more of a question.

"I'm not that surprised," Remus shrugged, "at least how he's been acting in here. He's always paid much more mind to her than he ever seemed to in the past, and I always wondered about the change."

"I am," James was still frowning lightly between the book and his kid. "Just hours ago you were still referring to her as Ron's little sister. Where's this coming from?"

Sirius suddenly burst out laughing, but he was watching Harry in a weary kind of way. "Well this could be all kinds of awkward if it keeps going, even if it's just as far as it was with Cho. You were thinking how not fun it would be to have your two best friends dating, try your best friends little sister."

"Sorry Harry, but none of us can really compare, seeing as none of us have sisters." James agreed.

Sirius thoughtfully rubbed his jaw for a moment before offering, "I don't know, if one of you had made a play at my brother, I'd think you were pretty barmy."

"Well darn," Remus sighed, "there goes my love life."

Harry let them make a couple more jokes of it, but then decided to go back to the moment. His ring still felt heavier by the moment, and he was more sure than ever they were down playing this moment. Jealous didn't even feel like a strong enough word, though he was now convinced his mum was right. There was more to it though, so he pressed on eagerly, to explore this new feeling that was very rapidly developing.

Wrestling with this sudden madness, he heard Ron's voice as though from a great distance away shouting to get their attention.

Dean and Ginny broke apart, Ginny looking around without much care to demand what he wanted.

Ron shouted back he didn't want to find his own sister snogging people in public!

Ginny snapped back this was a deserted corridor before he'd come butting in.

"I mean, she's not wrong," Lily snickered, clearly still finding this funnier than anything. She was very pleased to finally have this one out in the open, Ginny had been seeking Harry out for ages and he'd been reciprocating more and more as her youth vanished. Clearly it had just taken the right circumstances to make Harry realize what she'd been seeing.

Dean was looking embarrassed. He gave Harry a shifty grin that Harry did not return, as the newborn monster inside him was roaring for Dean's instant dismissal from the team.

"You've got Hermione as your conscious, now a monster ruling your jealousy, you're just made up of all kinds of things. Wonder what else is going to develop when you ask out Ginny?" Sirius smirked and shook his head as he continued to pick apart jokes for all this. They'd been wanting to know Harry's new fancy, and now they had it, this was going to be hilarious until he moved on.

Dean tried to coax her away, but Ginny told him to go on, she wanted a word with her dear brother.

"Prongs isn't her brother," Sirius said, clearly mystified.

"Shut up Padfoot," James rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

Dean left, looking as though he was not sorry to depart the scene.

Ginny gave her long hair a toss over her shoulder before squaring off, telling Ron it was none of his business who she went out with or what she did with them.

"I'd be paying real close attention to this Harry," Remus mock whispered, "you could be Dean next."

Harry blushed faintly, but the reaction wasn't near as severe as they would have thought. Perhaps this jealousy would come and go even faster than they were thinking then, for him to have so little a reaction.

In all honesty, Harry couldn't get too worked up over this teasing like he had the last time with Cho. He couldn't even put it into words, it just felt natural to him, like watching his parents together. He wasn't even that worried about Ron's response, like the idea occurring to him now said he should be. So he'd take whatever ribbing they or anyone else offered and go with it.

Ron defended yes it was, he didn't want people thinking his sister was a-

Ginny drew her wand threatening, demanding a what exactly?

Harry automatically told Ginny her brother didn't mean anything, though the monster in his chest was roaring approval with Ron.

"Glad someone approves of what's going on, even an inner-" James subtly elbowed Sirius to get him to stop that one before it went too far.

Ginny flared up at him now, shouting Ronald's problem was that the best kiss he'd ever had was from their Auntie Muriel!

"Oooh," James sucked in air backwards through his teeth. "This just went from awkward to flat out bad."

"What does Ginny think she's doing, throwing that around," Remus agreed with an uneasy wince.

"She's proving a point, and standing up for herself," Lily said just a touch defensively. "Her brother's being awful to her, trying to control her like that."

"He's telling her to get a room, Ginny's the one who escalated it, calling him out just because he's never had a girlfriend." Sirius scowled back.

"Both of them are being rotten siblings to each other, they need to take a step back," Lily sighed.

"Without their mum around, I doubt either of them are going to have the good grace to do that," Remus muttered. Harry privately agreed, and it was making him anxious, thinking of having to take sides in that.

It was pathetic, the way he kept hoping Fleur would give him a peck on the cheek every time she passed! If he went out and had a bit of snogging himself, maybe he wouldn't find it so disgusting when others did it!

Ron pulled his wand too, Harry stepped in between them.

All five of them were looking like a bomb was about to go off now, not one of them wanted this to keep escalating, but they were all sure it would.

Ron was now trying to get a clear shot at Ginny around Harry, who was now standing in front of her with his arms outstretched.

"Eesh, I don't even want to know what he's going to throw at her," Sirius winced hard, very aware of the variations he'd set on his brother for multiple lesser things. He wished he could push Harry out of the way of this one.

Ginny cared nothing as she carried on Harry had snogged Cho Chang, and Hermione had Victor Krum! He was the only one acting like a twelve-year-old when it went on! Then she stormed away.

Harry rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. That was most definitely not how he'd wanted his feelings for Ginny to flourish...if he did at all. Now that he'd so vividly seen Ron's vehement reaction to someone being with his sister, it even turning into a brawl, Harry's calm assuredness from moments ago vanished just like Ginny had from that corridor. What had he been thinking, Ron would would be okay with this?! He'd murder him!

"Well, I can find a bright spot in this for Lily," Sirius continued pleasantly like nothing more had happened. "Ron's going to hook up with Hermione just to prove a point."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Lily scowled at him. "I'd want them to get together because they want to be, not for Ron to show off to his sister. If Hermione finds out this is the reason Ron finally made a move, I'll very much doubt she'll be happy."

"Can't win anything with you woman," Sirius rolled his eyes.

James noticed Harry was still looking rather queasy, and had a wash of sympathy for him. Sirius and Lily had been nonstop having a go at each other since he'd started dating her. It had gradually turned into the friendship they'd developed, but James didn't envy Harry's position of having to pick a side in that argument, something that never had, and fingers crossed never would happen in his life. He was still half convinced Harry's sudden spurt of feelings for Ginny would fade though, so he pushed that away and was more than happy when Harry forced himself to keep going.

Harry quickly let go of Ron; the look on his face was murderous. They both stood there, breathing heavily, until Mrs. Norris, appeared around the corner, which broke the tension.

Harry quickly led them both away before Filch himself could catch up.

A small girl was standing in the middle of the seventh-floor corridor, and jumped in fright and dropped a bottle of toadspawn as Ron snapped at her to move.

Harry hardly noticed the sound of shattering glass; he felt disoriented, dizzy; being struck by a lightning bolt must be something like this.

Harry still felt that way, as if his mind were being split in two. One part kept replaying that scene, like he should have been paying much more attention to it, instead of letting the rest flit off to corridors, to imaginations he'd never share with Ron...or memories?

It's just because she's Ron's sister, he told himself. You just didn't like seeing her kissing Dean because she's Ron's sister. . . .

But unbidden into his mind came an image of that same deserted corridor with himself kissing Ginny instead. . . .

James whistled in surprise his sons mind was already going that rout then, he'd never even escalated that far with Cho, especially not right off the bat.

"Ginny slip something in your evening dinner?" Sirius burst out laughing at Harry's now scarlet face, that was not something he'd ever wanted to share with them. "Where's all this coming from?"

"I really think it's just been building for ages," Lily said clinically as she kept eyeing him as well. Harry kept his eyes trained on the pages instead, well aware how much every one of them were still looking at him.

"Let's hope it doesn't take him another two years to get his act together and do something about it then," Sirius chuckled.

The monster in his chest purred . . .

James snorted slightly that kept being brought up, but really he was still assessing all this, while Harry fidgeted more than ever with that ring on his finger. Was it like before, with Cho? Whoever his wife was should be on his mind now, with some new love interest present, or was it him trying to recall Ginny as that wife? He wasn't sure, and he still felt more sorry for Harry than anything, especially if it wasn't Ginny. This just got more awkward the more he thought about it.

but then he saw Ron ripping open the tapestry curtain and drawing his wand on Harry, shouting things like, 'betrayal of trust'. . . 'supposed to be my friend' . . .

"No second guessing at all what Ginny might say eh?" Sirius chuckled.

"Apparently he's still hoping that celebrity crush is alive and well," Remus agreed.

Ron abruptly intruded to demand of him if Hermione had snogged Krum?

Harry didn't really answer, as his mind supplied the idea that yes he did think so,

"Do you really think they got to know each other that well?" James more than happily jumped topics, though was sad Hermione wasn't actually here so he could asses a real answer out of her.

"I was under the impression they didn't have too much to do with each other after the second task at least, but at the same time, they've been writing since, so," Lily trailed off with a shrug. She could see how it would anyways.

however, Ron seemed to gather the worst from the look on Harry's face. They climbed through the portrait hole into the common room.

Neither of them mentioned Ginny or Hermione again; indeed, they barely spoke to each other that evening and got into bed in silence, each absorbed in his own thoughts.

Harry lay awake for a long time, looking up at the canopy of his four-poster and trying to convince himself that his feelings for Ginny were entirely elder-brotherly.

"What you were imagining just now had nothing to do with siblings," Remus told him like he'd gone daft.

"At least I'm relieved he is trying to talk himself out of it," James gave an uneasy chuckle. "I really can't see how this one's going to go."

Harry scowled at the two, looking twice as offended as anything they'd said about Cho, but still no one could tell on what level. Paternal like, or more?

They had lived, had they not, like brother and sister all summer, playing Quidditch, teasing Ron, and having a laugh about Bill and Phlegm? He had known Ginny for years now. ... It was natural that he should feel protective . . . natural that he should want to look out for her . . . want to rip Dean limb from limb for kissing her... No ... he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling. . . .

Ron gave a great grunting snore.

She's Ron's sister, Harry told himself firmly. Ron's sister. She's out-of-bounds. He would not risk his friendship with Ron for anything. He punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and waited for sleep to come, trying his utmost not to allow his thoughts to stray anywhere near Ginny.

"I'm already convinced his dreams didn't follow the same pattern," James said, but with an affectionate look at Lily who blushed faintly but refused to acknowledge that one.

Harry awoke next morning feeling slightly dazed and confused by a series of dreams in which Ron had chased him with a Beater's bat,

"Ron doesn't even play that position," Sirius chuckled.

"We don't need Trelawney to pick that one apart," Remus rolled his eyes.

but by midday he would have happily exchanged the dream Ron for the real one, who was not only cold-shouldering Ginny and Dean, but also treating a hurt and bewildered Hermione with an icy, sneering indifference. What was more, Ron seemed to have become, overnight, as touchy and ready to lash out as the average Blast-Ended Skrewt. Harry spent the day attempting to keep the peace between Ron and Hermione with no success; finally, Hermione departed for bed in high dudgeon, and Ron stalked off to the boys' dormitory after swearing angrily at several frightened first years for looking at him.

"Merlin, one little spat with his sister and Ron thinks his life is ending," James said with more sympathy than anything. At this point in his life he'd been pretty frustrated the girl of his dreams still had no interest in him, even when she wasn't hanging around Snape anymore. He hadn't always been at his most pleasant either, though he liked to think he'd never gotten this bad.

"He's being a ponce," Lily scowled for this attitude no one deserved. "If he has a problem, even one he doesn't want to talk about, taking it out on everyone else is inexcusable."

To Harry's dismay, Ron's new aggression did not wear off over the next few days. Worse still, it coincided with an even deeper dip in his Keeping skills, which made him still more aggressive, so that during the final Quidditch practice before Saturdays match, he failed to save every single goal the Chasers aimed at him, but bellowed at everybody so much that he reduced Demelza Robins to tears.

"Bloody hell, just go snog a girl already and be done with it," Sirius said in exasperation as this pent up feeling only grew worse.

"Sirius, that really should not be your answer to everything," Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation, before grudgingly saying, "but in this particular case I can't help agreeing with him. Ron needs to work this out, and if that's what does it I'm all for it."

Peakes flew into his face and shouted to leave her alone! He was two-thirds Ron's size, but was carrying a heavy bat.

"Yeah, that would be a sight," James muttered, hoping Harry stepped in soon to calm his team before it went that far.

Harry bellowed at them that was enough, especially at Ginny, who he had seen glowering in Ron's direction and, remembering her reputation as an accomplished caster of the Bat-Bogey Hex, soared over to intervene before things got out of hand.

He told the rest of the team to go and pack up for the night, and waited until they were out of earshot before confronting Ron. Telling him that best mates they were, if he didn't stop this he'd be kicked off the team!

He really thought for a moment that Ron might hit him, but then something much worse happened: Ron seemed to sag on his broom.

"Maybe this'll finally help," Lily honestly tried to put some hope into her voice. "He needed someone to give him a swift kick in his arse."

"I can't see how Harry attacking him now will really help," Sirius disagreed, thinking what Ron really needed and wishing he could help just like he'd tried for Moony all those years ago, still occasionally tried to do no matter how much Remus protested and refused to participate in whatever blind-dates he'd set up.

All the fight went out of him and he simply resigned on the spot.

Harry fiercely said he didn't accept! He could save anything when he was on form, he just had a mental problem!

Ron demanded he was being called mental?

"He's sure acting like it lately," Remus agreed.

Harry agreed he was right now.

They glared at each other for a moment, then Ron shook his head wearily. He conceded Harry couldn't find a new Keeper so soon, but when they lost the game tomorrow, he was resigning.

Nothing Harry said made any difference. He tried boosting Ron's confidence all through dinner, but Ron was too busy being grumpy and surly with Hermione to notice.

"I'm sure she loved that," Lily grumbled, wishing to swat him upside the head for still taking this out on the wrong person.

Harry persisted in the common room that evening, but his assertion that the whole team would be devastated if Ron left was somewhat undermined by the fact that the rest of the team was sitting in a huddle in a distant corner, clearly muttering about Ron and casting him nasty looks.

"Ouch, yeah, probably not helping," James winced, but he was at a loss of anything to help Ron as well. If winning the Championship last year didn't do it, he didn't know anything that would encourage Ron now. Maybe quitting really was best for the poor guy, even if they had to endure McLaggen because of it.

Finally Harry tried getting angry again in the hope of provoking Ron into a defiant, and hopefully goal-saving, attitude, but this strategy did not appear to work any better than encouragement; Ron went to bed as dejected and hopeless as ever.

"Credit for determination," Sirius offered, which did about as much good in distracting Harry as he'd been trying to do to Ron.

Harry lay awake for a very long time in the darkness. He did not want to lose the upcoming match; not only was it his first as Captain, but he was determined to beat Draco Malfoy at Quidditch even if he could not yet prove his suspicions about him. Yet if Ron played as he had done in the last few practices, their chances of winning were very slim. . . .

If only there was something he could do to make Ron pull him-self together . . . make him play at the top of his form . . . something that would ensure that Ron had a really good day.

...

And the answer came to Harry in one, sudden, glorious stroke of inspiration.

"Oh Harry, you don't!" James groaned at once.

Harry went wide-eyed and innocent, fighting to keep his expression under control and not give himself away.

"That's cheating that is, getting him onto the team is bad enough. What's the point of playing Quidditch if you won't rough it," Sirius scowled, trying hard not to say the words too venomously to Harry, but he really didn't appreciate what he was hearing.

"I've never cheated," Harry said, his defensive voice pure and helping well to smother the light in the back of his eyes. "I never will."

The two exchanged a calculating look, but really weren't sure what Harry was on about then. They kept themselves quiet and just let it play out then.

Breakfast was the usual excitable affair next morning; the Slytherins hissed and booed loudly as every member of the Gryffindor team entered the Great Hall. Harry glanced at the ceiling and saw a clear, pale blue sky: a good omen.

The Gryffindor table, a solid mass of red and gold, cheered as Harry and Ron approached. Harry grinned and waved; Ron grimaced weakly and shook his head.

Lavender gave him a cheerful greeting, saying she knew he'd be brilliant!

Ron ignored her.

"Irony in its purest," Remus muttered. "Ron's finally getting all the attention he ever wanted, and he hates every minute of it."

"I really thought he'd be loving it, especially the way he gloried in it last year. He really can't decide what he wants about anything this year," Harry agreed with a sigh, his mind not really on Quidditch now.

Harry offered him a variety of drinks, but Ron just said anything without a care as he started moodily on a piece of toast.

A few minutes later Hermione, who had become so tired of Ron's recent unpleasant behavior that she had not come down to breakfast with them, paused on her way up the table.

She asked how they were feeling, her eyes on Ron.

Harry said they'd be great once they got some breakfast, and handed Ron a glass of pumpkin juice.

Ron had just raised the glass to his lips when Hermione spoke sharply at him not to drink that!

Harry was fighting back more every moment the smile trying to tug across his face. It wasn't helping the others jumped in surprise and looked on in concern now for what was happening.

Both Harry and Ron looked up at her.

Ron asked why not, but Hermione was now staring at Harry as though she could not believe her eyes as she accused Harry he'd just put something in Ron's drink!

His fathers and Godfathers scandalized expressions grew, but his previous assurance held their tongue. It was clearly maddening to them they were missing something, but why would Hermione say something otherwise?! Harry was biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to continue without picturing the looks he knew would come when they figured it out.

Harry defended he'd done no such thing, but Hermione insisted otherwise.

Hermione turned sharply to Ron and pleaded with him not to drink that, but he took it all in one large gulp after telling her to stop bossing him around.

"Is playing them against each other really helping anything?" Lily sighed. She wasn't nearly as invested in Quidditch as the others, nor did she find it too hard to believe her rotten boy would pull such a thing for a game he clearly loved. If he'd get into such a big fight with Hermione over a broom, she really wouldn't put this past him no matter how much she still loved that determination to do anything.

Harry just batted his eyes innocently, but it was even harder to fake on his mum with that calculating look, so he quickly kept going.

She looked scandalized. Bending low so that only Harry could hear her, she hissed he could be expelled for that!

Harry politely returned back if she'd Confunded anyone lately?

"Heh, got her there," Remus snickered, he was enjoying this immensely. The one thing he could guarantee would rile his friends up was something Harry was now toeing the line with, and he couldn't get enough of the show, considering he might well have done the same for one of his friends if they'd needed the boost that day like Ron clearly had.

She stormed up the table away from them. Harry watched her go without regret. Hermione had never really understood what a serious business Quidditch was.

"Invoking my name right now won't help you Harry," Sirius said with a stiff lip, but his expression was softening now as he tried to dig up some explanation for this. Harry insisted he never had, nor ever would cheat, but that's exactly what he'd just been caught doing. What was he missing? The puzzle at least stopped him constantly glaring at his godson for an explanation.

He then looked around at Ron, who was smacking his lips.

The frosty grass crunched underfoot as they strode down to the stadium.

Harry casually asked him it was pretty lucky the weather was this good.

Ron agreed while looking paler than ever.

Ginny and Demelza were already wearing their Quidditch robes and waiting in the changing room.

Ginny completely ignored Ron's presence as she told Harry the Slytherin line-up wouldn't be the usual. Vaisey took a Bludger to the head during their last practice and was in the Hospital Wing, and Malfoy was out sick.

"What's this now?" Lily asked with interest, agreeing with the suddenly intense look of concentration on Harry's face for this development.

Harry turned on the spot in surprise, asking what was wrong with him?

Ginny didn't know, but the team was playing Harper instead. He was in her year, and an idiot.

"So's Malfoy, but he's actually decent on a broom," James gave a casual enough roll of his eyes, even as he kept shifting his weight for the game to begin. He'd had enough people dangling answers over his head already this year, but found he was actually enjoying Harry doing it to him. Something about his sons expression promised a payoff he'd appreciate at least, even if he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Harry smiled back vaguely, but as he pulled on his scarlet robes his mind was far from Quidditch. Malfoy had once before claimed he could not play due to injury, but on that occasion he had made sure the whole match was rescheduled for a time that suited the Slytherins better. Why was he now happy to let a substitute go on? Was he really ill, or was he faking?

"Who cares?" the three Marauders said, just wanting to get to the game already and figure out what Harry was up to. They'd already spent far too much time caring about Malfoy this year, and they wanted this one thing to enjoy.

Harry tried to get Ron to see how fishy this was, but Ron called it lucky again, then his eyes bulged wide as he turned to Harry and began babbling about his drink this morning.

Harry raised his eyebrows, but said nothing except they'd be starting in five minutes and he wanted everyone dressed.

'All of this would have happened the other day though, the Luck potion wouldn't have caused this to happen in the last hour,' James thought to himself, before his eyes widened in understanding and he quickly stopped an 'oh' of surprise escaping. He wasn't sure he was right, but suddenly he wondered why Harry showed no shame of his actions. He had more faith in the Captain of this team not pulling such a stunt, but if it really was a literal stunt...

They walked out onto the pitch to tumultuous roars and boos. One end of the stadium was solid red and gold; the other, a sea of green and silver. Many Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had taken sides too: Amidst all the yelling and clapping Harry could distinctly hear the roar of Luna Lovegood's famous lion-topped hat.

Sirius did get a laugh out of that. "I've missed hearing about her, wish we could see if she'd added anything to the hat."

"Sorry, I'll let you know later if I notice," Harry said with all the cheer in the world. Sirius was still shifting restlessly for the game, not even sure what he wanted to hear now. If Ron started miraculously catching all the goals, he couldn't even be thrilled at it, but he still had faith Harry hadn't lied to him, so what was the other option?

Harry stepped up to Madam Hooch, the referee, who was standing ready to release the balls from the crate. She told the Captain's to shake hands. Harry and Urquhart tried to crush each others instead.

"I actually wouldn't be surprised if Malfoy quit the team that morning in protest of not being made Captain." Remus said with a huff of disgust. "Been mock practicing with them in training, and then did this to spite them at the last second. Seems the kind of thing he'd do."

The whistle sounded, Harry and the others kicked off hard from the frozen ground, and they were away.

Harry soared around the perimeter of the grounds, looking around for the Snitch and keeping one eye on Harper, who was zigzagging far below him. Then a voice that was jarringly different to the usual commentator's started up.

"Oh yeah, Lee Jordan graduated," Lily puckered her lips in disappointment, she'd always enjoyed his commentary.

"Hopefully the next person is just as entertaining," Remus said with a bright smile.

It didn't start well, pointing out Ronald Weasley was a patch performer in his Keeper position last year, so many were surprised to see his reappearance on the tea. Of course it helped to be friends with the Captain.

Sirius grumbled in disgust, he'd heard that insult a lot in his last year of school, right around the time he'd been trying to restrain himself from cursing the lot. It had been a long year.

These words were greeted with jeers and applause from the Slytherin end of the pitch. Harry craned around on his broom to look toward the commentator's podium. A tall, skinny blond buy with an upturned nose was standing there, talking into the magical megaphone that had once been Lee Jordan's; Harry recognized Zacharias Smith, a Hufflepuff player whom he heartily disliked.

"I'll pay McGonagall extra to kick him from the stands," James muttered.

His words were not met with anything though, as Urquhart sent the first ball of the game, and Weasley saved it. Smith wasn't impressed, saying everyone had to get lucky.

Harry grinned to himself,

James was eyeing Harry shrewdly still to get a nail on an answer and Sirius was muttering to himself about his godson doing this to him at a time like this. Why couldn't they ever just enjoy one match without it being something?

as he dived amongst the Chasers with his eyes searching all around for some hint of the elusive Snitch.

With half an hour of the game gone, Gryffindor were leading sixty points to zero, Ron having made some truly spectacular saves, some by the very tips of his gloves,

All four of them narrowed their eyes at Harry, but it was maddening this didn't really mean an answer because Ron had done this before as well. He really was good at the game, the boost it was implied he was given really wouldn't make a real difference if Harry had gotten Ron's head on straight before this.

and Ginny having scored four of Gryffindor's six goals. This effectively stopped Zacharias wondering loudly whether the two Weasleys were only there because Harry liked them, and he started on Peakes and Coote instead.

Describing Coote as not the usual build for a Beater, they generally had more muscle-

Harry bellowed at Coote as he passed to hit a Bludger to Smith, but Coote only grinned and sent the next one to oncoming Harper.

"Well I'm certainly liking him more and more," Sirius did get a grin out of that, though certainly wouldn't mind if the next one went a bit wild.

Harry was pleased to hear the dull thunk that meant the Bludger had found its mark.

It seemed as though Gryffindor could do no wrong. Again and again they scored, and again and again, at the other end of the pitch, Ron saved goals with apparent ease. He was actually smiling now, and when the crowd greeted a particularly good save with a rousing chorus of the old favorite "Weasley Is Our King,"

Lily sniffed a bit, couldn't they add in something for Ginny's sake? She was doing as much as Ron. She'd start having her own problems of inferiority soon.

he pretended to conduct them from on high.

"Ron's really been compared to Malfoy a lot lately," James said a bit tartly, knowing he would have found that funnier under other circumstances.

Harper collided himself into Harry for the purpose of mocking Ron, calling him a blood- traitor pal.

Hooch had her back turned at the time, so by the time the Gryffindor shrieks of a foul reached her ears and she turned, Harper was shooting away.

Harry's shoulder was aching as he raced after him, determined to ram him back

"You can afford the foul," Sirius agreed in clipped tones, but he really couldn't help it, he put his feeling about Harry aside and started to lean forward with an eager smile, at least trying to enjoy the good of the game before whatever happened for it later came up.

Smith airily said Harper had seen something Potter hadn't, and Harry thought him a right idiot. Hadn't Smith seen them just collide moments before? Next moment, his stomach seemed to drop out of the , sky â€" Smith was right and Harry was wrong: Harper had not sped upward at random; he had spotted what Harry had not: The Snitch was speeding along high above them, glinting brightly against the clear blue sky.

Sirius growled in his seat, shifting his hands desperately to throw a Bludger, or anything, to help get a win out of this! He was certain no matter what Harry had done the team still deserved this!

Harry accelerated; the wind was whistling in his ears so that it drowned all sound of Smith's commentary or the crowd,

"That Firebolt really coming in handy right now," James breathed, then caught his breath and held it, fists clenched with hope his boy would pull off another win, at least he'd never done anything to himself to deserve that. Had that been what he'd meant earlier, he was only promising he'd never helped himself win? He forced his mind to snap back to this and worry about everything else in a moment.

but Harper was still ahead of him, and Gryffindor was only a hundred points up; if Harper got there first Gryffindor had lost. . . and now Harper was feet from it, his hand outstretched.

Harry desperately shouted after him how much Malfoy had paid him to come on instead?

"Razzing him at a time like this could work," James stressed the word as much as his body was tensed, regretting the hiss of words that escaped him as it only delayed a few moments longer the answer!

He did not know what made him say it, but Harper did a double-take; he fumbled the Snitch, let it slip through his fingers, and shot right past it. Harry made a great swipe for the tiny, fluttering ball and caught it.

All four of them cheered with excitement, Harry beamed with pride as his fist still tried to clench over his prize. He couldn't help it, even despite their weariness of what he was pulling on them, that was genuine praise for something he'd done! Something he never in his life expected to feel from his parents!

Harry whooped as he circled back. Wheeling around, he hurtled back toward the ground, the Snitch held high in his hand. As the crowd realized what had happened, a great shout went up that almost drowned the sound of the whistle that signaled the end of the game.

Harry found himself trapped in the midst of a mass midair hug with the rest of the team, but Ginny sped right on past them,

"Disappointed not to be getting a particular hug eh?" Sirius asked with a cheerful enough wink, but his mood was still soured more than Harry was used to for a win. He considered telling them already, but he was still sure he'd have to explain himself to Hermione as well, so waited just a few moments more.

until, with an almighty crash, she collided with the commentators podium. As the crowd shrieked and laughed, the Gryffindor team landed beside the wreckage of wood under which Zacharias was feebly stirring,: Harry heard Ginny saying blithely to an irate Professor McGonagall, she'd forgot to put on the brakes.

All five of them lost it, laughing in nothing but a carefree way for Ginny lighting all of them. Harry found himself with a growing ache, one he'd held since he first remembered Ron and Hermione. He wanted Ginny here now too. To meet his parents, to see where he'd come from! He looked wistfully to the kitchen once more, and then just as quickly looked away, scolding himself for such a thing. He was going to enjoy the time he had with his parents, and he'd find a way to make all the lives he wanted come together in the end.

Laughing, Harry broke free of the rest of the team and hugged Ginny, but let go very quickly. Avoiding her gaze, he clapped a cheering Ron on the back instead as, all enmity forgotten, the Gryffindor team left the pitch arm in arm, punching the air, waving to their supporters.

The atmosphere in the changing room was jubilant. Dean was already yelling about a party up in the common room!

"Always is," James agreed with nostalgia. He still missed those times, especially the ones in his last year, with his Lily Flower on his arm.

Ron and Harry were the last two in the changing room. They were just about to leave when Hermione entered. She was twisting her Gryffindor scarf in her hands and looked upset but determined. She told him what he'd done was illegal, Slughorn had said so.

Ron asked if she was going to turn them in?

"Why's he still being so defensive, she's trying to be on his side," Lily grumbled.

"Well it's not like Hermione hasn't done that before," Sirius snipped.

"And Ron's ego just got a bit of a boost, potion or not," Remus agreed with a sigh, he wouldn't expect anything to bring him down right now, instead it was likely to just keep climbing.

Harry asked what they were even talking about, turning away from both of them so they wouldn't see him smiling.

James clucked his tongue and Sirius shifted a bit, both determined to hear an explanation before they really got to scolding as well. Harry would admit to it, if nothing else, when he was confronted. He'd always been honest with them, and his friends.

Hermione shrilly shouted he'd used Felix Felicis to spike Ron's drink this morning!

Harry said he hadn't, turning back to face them.

James's face squished up, his mind scrambling to catch up with his sons. He suddenly sympathized in a whole new way how Harry must always feel to constantly be missing something, he was certainly getting that feeling a lot lately.

He promised he hadn't slipped anyone anything, as pulled from inside his jacket pocket the tiny bottle that Hermione had seen in his hand that morning. It was full of golden potion and the cork was still tightly sealed with wax.

"You-" Remus began in disbelief, but he could hardly get past the first word as Sirius and James burst out laughing.

"You rotten little curd," James wagged his finger even as he was grinning ear to ear. "Pulling such a stunt, I couldn't be prouder!"

"You couldn't have just said that!" Sirius agreed even as his breath came out in stops and starts from laughing.

"Where would be the fun in that?" Harry asked, more pleased than words could say he'd guessed right, they'd taken it all in stride for the joke. It was a warmth he never expected to get, knowing how his family would react to something he'd done.

"That's so sneaky," Lily tried to scold even as she was fighting back twitching lips. "Was winning the game that important to you? Would you have really done it?"

"Didn't need to," Harry gleefully pointed out, wishing Ron and Hermione were here now more than ever so he could relive seeing them go through this with him. "But no, if the idea hadn't worked, I'd have just put up with the aftermath, just like always," he finished, his smile starting to dim as he wondered why that left such a sinking feeling, why he was immediately regretting his thoughts and quite happy his friends weren't here. That was ridiculous, he'd just won a match, surely Ron would apologize and everything would go back to normal now. Suddenly anxious, he stopped Remus adding in and cut off James and Sirius still chortling to get back to his aching mind, fingers crossed he was misunderstanding something to bring the mood back down already.

Harry explained he'd only wanted Ron to think he had, but he'd really done all that himself.

Ron was astounded with himself, but then he rounded on Hermione, thrusting in her face he hadn't needed any help, he could do that without a potion!

"It's not like she knew that anymore than him," Lily huffed, still wanting to give him a good whack. He really needed to stop taking everything out on her, she'd done nothing to deserve it.

Hermione protested she hadn't said otherwise-

but Ron was completely ignoring her now and walked right out.

Harry stood there awkwardly, he hadn't expected this part of his plan to backfire. He offered to walk up to the party with her, but she told him to go on without her. She didn't know what she'd done to Ron, but she was sick of it! She stamped away, tears in her eyes.

"Would you have told her, if she'd stayed?" Remus asked in concern. This wasn't nearly as bad as some of their previous fights, but this certainly needed to be resolved, perhaps by Harry stepping in no matter how awkward.

"I don't know, probably, even though that would have made her more mad, then they'd both be mad at me," Harry sighed as he explained why he'd yet to do it. He wasn't happy at all his forewarned thoughts had been right, surely this was the unpleasant feeling, his friends still fighting.

Harry walked slowly back up the grounds toward the castle through the crowd, many of whom shouted congratulations at him, but he felt a great sense of letdown; he had been sure that if Ron won the match, he and Hermione would be friends again immediately. He did not see how he could possibly explain to Hermione that what she had done to offend Ron was kiss Viktor Krum, not when the offense had occurred so long ago.

Harry could not see Hermione at the Gryffindor celebration party, which was in full swing when he arrived. Renewed cheers and clapping greeted his appearance, and he was soon surrounded by a mob of people congratulating him. What with trying to shake off the Creevey brothers, who wanted a blow-by-blow match analysis,

"And you didn't give them one?" Sirius demanded. "You've given us plenty."

"Those two reminded me of puppies even more than you, and I didn't need the extra attention right then," Harry huffed, but at least Sirius smirked for the joke.

and the large group of girls that encircled him, laughing at his least amusing comments and batting their eyelids, it was some time before he could try and find Ron. At last, he extricated himself from Romilda Vane, who was hinting heavily that she would like to go to Slughorn's Christmas party with him. As he was ducking toward the drinks table, he walked straight into Ginny, Arnold the Pygmy Puff riding on her shoulder and Crookshanks mewing hopefully at her heels.

"Oh boy, let's hope another Weasley Hermione row doesn't sprout from Crookshanks eating him," James muttered. Hermione really did need a break, hopefully Crookshanks wouldn't start anything.

She smirked as she passed Harry, asking if he was looking for Ron? He was over there being a hypocrite.

"Excuse em wa'?" Remus put on a terrible french accent to mock what his mind was suddenly offering him in explanation. Either he'd made up with Hermione extraordinarily fast, or something far worse was about to happen. He really couldn't decide which he wanted to hear at this point, either was going to be awkward for Harry to live through.

Harry looked into the corner she was indicating. There, in full view of the whole room, stood Ron wrapped so closely around Lavender Brown it was hard to tell whose hands were whose.

"Well then," Sirius chuckled, clearly all at ease with this display. "Glad someone's untying his knickers."

"Thank you Sirius," Lily huffed.

"This won't go well," James muttered, seeing everyone else's expression but his best mates was thinking the same. Where was Hermione?

Ginny dispassionately said it looked like he was trying to eat her face.

Sirius still got a cheerful laugh out of that, now eyeing Harry and expecting his mind to trail off, to wonder what Ginny would say when Harry tried kissing her. He expected that to come up sooner rather than later.

She supposed he'd have to refine his technique somehow though. Then she told Harry good game, and patted him on the arm as she left. Harry felt a swooping sensation in his stomach, but then she walked off to help herself to more butterbeer. Crookshanks trotted after her, his yellow eyes fixed upon Arnold.

Harry turned away from Ron, who did not look like he would be surfacing soon, just as the portrait hole was closing. With a sinking feeling, he thought he saw a mane of bushy brown hair whipping out of sight.

He sighed though when he realized instead where Harry was going. He hoped Hermione wouldn't be too difficult about this, Ron was just letting off some steam. Surely Hermione would understand that.

He darted forward, sidestepped Romilda Vane again, and pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady. The corridor outside, seemed to be deserted.

He found her in the first unlocked classroom he tried. She was sitting on the teacher's desk, alone except for a small ring of twittering yellow birds circling her head, which she had clearly just conjured out of midair.

"Why?" Remus drew the word out in concern.

"Try to keep her mind on other things," Lily shrugged, running her hand through her hair uneasily. She at least hoped Hermione wouldn't take this out on Harry, but would save it for the friend who deserved it. Ron was being foul treating her this way. Whether he was avoiding the problem or he really didn't return her feelings in that way, which she doubted, this was just a terrible time to be doing anything of the sort like he was, especially as Ginny had just called out, in such a hypocritical way. They'd never even gotten an answer on what he'd said about the Slughorn party, but this wouldn't have helped anything.

She greeted him in a brittle voice, telling him she was just looking for somewhere to practice.

"She clearly doesn't need it," James said carefully, like he had an angry witches wand trained on him now. This was not a good place to start, and he had no faith his son would make it better, he'd never been very good at doing that for Hermione in the past.

He had no idea what to say to her. He was just wondering whether there was any chance that she had not noticed Ron, that she had merely left the room because the party was a little too rowdy, when she said, in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, Ron seemed to be enjoying himself.

Harry awkwardly said he wasn't sure what she meant, and she snapped at him Ronald hadn't been hiding it!

The door behind them burst open. To Harry's horror, Ron came in, laughing, pulling Lavender by the hand.

"Timing!" Sirius cried to try and break the growing tension. He was ignored.

He drew up short at the sight of Harry and Hermione.

Lavender quickly backed out of the room giggling.

"I'm sure she won't be when she gets up to her common room and remembers how close Hermione's bed is to hers," Remus muttered.

The door swung shut behind her.

There was a horrible, swelling, billowing silence. Hermione was staring at Ron, who refused to look at her, but said with an odd mixture of bravado and awkwardness, to Harry he'd wondered he'd gotten to.

"Yeah, that's why he was going into that room with Lavender," James muttered, his face pulled tight for he didn't even know what. Were Ron and Hermione going to blow this off, or start another row? He really didn't want the latter, but the first would be painfully awkward because it would then take them even longer just to talk again as if they were having a fight.

Hermione slid off the desk. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system.

Sirius snorted for the comparison, then pouted when he was the only one who bothered to crack again. Honestly, everyone got so cut up over romance.

She quietly said he shouldn't leave Lavender to herself. She walked very slowly and erectly toward the door. Harry glanced at Ron, who was looking relieved that nothing worse had happened.

Remus had just opened his mouth to agree to the same, when Harry had gone on in the same breath.

The spell 'Oppugno!' came as a shriek from the doorway.

Harry spun around to see Hermione pointing her wand at Ron, her expression wild: The little flock of birds was speeding like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Ron, who yelped and covered his face with his hands, but the birds attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach.

All five of them felt their mouths flop open in shock for such a display. Then Sirius started laughing harder than ever. "Well, I may not have seen this coming, but in hindsight it makes sense. She's got a bit of a violent streak, she did punch Malfoy in the face when he finally pushed her too far."

"Sirius Black, this is not funny!" Lily snapped at him.

"Why not?" He returned casually. "Ron's being an arse, either trying to make Hermione jealous or playing around with some options to see how his feelings for Hermione stack up. Honestly, he could even be just messing around for some fun."

Lily had looked surprised, even impressed he really had grasped some emotional level of what was going on, until he'd finished with another attempt to blow all this off.

She'd just opened her mouth to retort when Harry desperately tried to finish the last line,

Ron yelled to get them off of him, but with one last look of vindictive fury, Hermione wrenched open the door and disappeared through it. Harry thought he heard a sob before it slammed.

Harry groaned and let the book fall to the floor with a thud as he grabbed his head in misery. He could already feel this was going to get worse before it got better.

HPHPHPHP

Lots of romancing going on in this chapter, but the big controversial you've all been waiting for, Harry/Ginny, has finally arrived!...It's not bad.

Honestly, I don't dislike the pairing, there's certainly worse out there, but I'll never get over how little it was set up. Of all the plot threads JK did in advance, this has to be the least developed of all. Now yes I've seen a ton of posts claiming otherwise, but even rereading these recently with a critical eye, I've done more to have Harry notice her than JK ever bothered. Even in this book, there's been what, three instances of Harry noticing her? She was set up for a romance no better than if he'd suddenly fallen in love with Dean. So yeah, proceeding will as follow, this is cannon and Harry is purely smitten with her, but I just don't much care for the two together either way. I'll still do my best to have the characters invest in it like normal of course.

As for Ron and Hermione, I genuinely do like them. They're idiotic teenagers figuring out love for the first time, it's been clear it's going to be getting to this point for ages, and they're going about it in the worst way possible to each other. I personally think that makes them a stronger couple in the end, I don't believe there's such a thing as the perfect romance and some problems at the start are probably healthier than finding them later in life. I've heard JK's commentary that they'd probably have to have a counselor at some point in their marriage, but I don't get why people say that means she didn't want them to end up together. There's nothing wrong with needing a mediator to find a way to talk to each other, hell, I'm pretty sure Harry's the counselor she meant. He's already had years of practice at it already.

This has been my thoughts none of you asked for on the two current pairings in the series. I think I made myself pretty clear on Harry/ Cho, Harry/ Luna will come up in a later chapter, you already know my stance on Jilly and Wolfstar, I'll address Dramione near the end of seven if any of you really care, and Remadora will come up in a later chapter which I'm sure you can guess at.

*A mouth guard, to those who didn't recognize the word like I didn't and googled it upon my first read. I don't know why I pictured a wand creating a wad of gum to surround them first, my mind feels idiotic now for not putting it together, but that's what happens when I spend too much time in a place like Hogwarts. Things like that seem more real than common safety practice.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #The Life That Never Lived #HP #HBP #Marauders #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 years ago

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Commenting on without reblogging. (Thing is about: communicating about what you’re upset about with your partner or whomever and not making them guess.) (I don’t remember if the original post was partner specific or like...roommates. I’m thinking about partners, but this can apply to roommate conflicts as well, and anyone else you spend enough time with that you’re around each other when you’re not at your best. I’m mostly assuming one on one situations — this can be generalized to larger groups, but with 3 or more people there’s additional dynamics in play and I’m not sure how to comment on that here:)

Yes, and also I think this tends to be harder than a lot of people realize. As in: if just being told you should do that is enough, great. If not...

For those of us who would basically rather die than talk to our parents about our feelings as teens and didn’t have anyone else we could talk to about our feelings to either, it can be really hard to transition into adult relationships of equals and trust that the other person actually cares about our feelings.

For people who have especially extreme or unusual emotional reactions due to mental illness, ADHD, etc, identifying our feelings let alone talking about them can be extra hard.

For many people, figuring out how to say “I’m upset as a result of you doing x” without implying “I think it’s bad that you did x” can be challenging. Especially since a lot of people are primed to automatically hear the first as the second.

This can be even harder if you’re not sure whether you do think that it’s bad that the other person did x or not.

I don’t know what to say about people coming from abusive families, but I’m sure that adds extra layers of difficulty one way or another. Also previous abusive romantic relationships.

Basically we usually learn how to do this stuff by it being modeled to us, and a lot of us didn’t get that modeling. (Or for various reasons, got it modeled but didn’t pick it up. Or our problems and our role models’ problems are different enough that it’s not all that useful.)

Some people find it difficult to form words or say certain kinds of things under stress. This can look like deliberately choosing to stay silent when it’s actually not a choice.

The fight-or-flight stress response makes it harder to use the parts of your brain that control impulses and make rational, thought out decisions. So, knowing what to do when you’re calm and being able to do it when you’re aroused are very different things. Even more so if you’re getting into shut down/dissociation territory. (This is why “take some time apart to calm down” is such common relationship advice.)

Sometimes not only is it hard for B to read A’s feelings, but B might get it wrong. Some people look calm when they’re angry, sound angry when they’re scared, cry when they’re not sad, etc.

Oh, and also some people don’t have close relationships (or healthy close relationships) until relatively late in life, and are making their newbie relationship mistakes much later than most people.

So, what can you do?

Talk about conflicts when you’re not actively in conflict.

Make a plan for how you’re going to deal with intense feelings and/or sustained bad moods ahead of time; know your coping strategies. Let your partner know ahead of time what sorts of things tend to make you feel better or worse.

Look up communication advice (“I feel” statements etc) and either generate some rules of the road together as a couple (/household/polycule/whatever) or make some personal guidelines for yourself. (If you don’t always follow them it happens — this isn’t about whoever messes up first loses the argument, it’s about if you mess up you try to do better next time.)

If you want to keep the relationship, make sure you have a lot more positive interactions than negative ones. Even if there’s big disagreements that need to be talked through, it’s OK to take breaks and have time where you focus on enjoying each other’s company. If you’re in a frame of mind where you can do that.

Likewise, remember to say positive things about your partner etc even when you’re in conflict. “I care about you”, “I want to work through this together”, “thanks for hearing me out”, etc. You do not lose the fight by saying nice things. (Or if you do...maybe your problem isn’t a communication one.)

If either person wants to take a break from a difficult conversation, you take a break.

Think about who else you can talk to about this, or how else you can process the situation. It’s not necessarily a good idea to talk about all your relationship fights with a close family member (or another partner if you’re polyamorous) but often it’s a good idea to talk to someone. So...therapist? Bartender? Hotline volunteer? Random social media “let’s be nice to each other” group? Your dog? Maybe you’d just as soon write in your journal or go for a long walk? Sometimes if you process your feelings first, you end up having a much more constructive talk later on.

Be in process. Learning how to have healthy relationships involves a lot of highly complex and subtle skills. It’s work. It takes time. As with learning to play a musical instrument, you have to do it badly before you can do it well.

What if communication doesn’t help?

Maybe the way you tried it didn’t work or the timing was bad. Give it some time and try again later. (If it’s a big dealbreaker thing or potentially a big dealbreaker thing, get some distance if possible — communication isn’t a substitute for boundaries, and neither is patience or love or forgiveness.)

If there’s a consistent pattern of talking it out not working, or the other person seems to be acting deliberately cruel, this is probably not a good relationship (/living situation) for you. Good communication can’t make another person respect you, it only smooths things over between people who basically like and respect each other.

Couple’s counseling/family counseling is an option in some cases. I recommend only doing this if you basically trust that the other person cares about and respects you and it’s more about getting back to a previously happy relationship than trying to fix a relationship that was broken from the start. In a hostile roommate situation if you can’t move out yet, or if you’re in something that you know is a bad relationship but can’t break up yet, what you want is more boundaries, not better communication. Individual therapy might help with that, but family or couple’s therapy is generally more focused on gaining more closeness and mutual understanding, and less about setting boundaries and getting distance.

Some resources (books unless stated otherwise, authors left out because I’m feeling too lazy to look them all up but I can clarify on request):

Non-violent Communication (the book, but there’s also workshops etc): not everyone’s cup of tea, other people swear by it. It’s set up skills first/explanations second, so I recommend reading the second half first but you do you. If it’s not your thing, that’s OK.

Difficult Conversations

Feeling Good Together: this is a weird ass book, and does not differentiate between healthy relationships and abusive ones, but I’m still recommending it because the “five secrets of effective communication” is actually the communication advice that works best for me in the moment. (The “five secrets” can also be found if you poke around the Feeling Good podcast, which is free.)

Oh, yeah the Feeling Good book and the Feeling Good podcast in general, for people with depression, anxiety, etc. (note: the author/host ...has some very strong opinions, be willing to filter. There’s a ton of practical advice though, so I’m still recommending it.)

The Dance of Anger: short on practical tips, but pretty neat on theory.

Anything about CBT or DBT, or really anything else on emotional management written by therapy people.

I’m especially fond of Taming Your Gremlin on the “learn better coping strategies” front: it’s short, it’s got humor, it’s friendly to people with short attention spans, it does kinda do the “co-opting mindfulness concepts for personal gain” thing but that’s pretty hard to avoid these days, sigh.

Bouncing Back (about resilience and healing from trauma, science based but written for people who aren’t science people)

Burnout (about stress, ditto on the science thing, aimed at women, 10/10 recommend)

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook (why so much about stress? Because dealing with “stress” is also dealing with fear and anger and hurt and resentment and frustration, that’s why. And because we all know that “stress is bad” and we’re supposed to do something about it, but most people think that means just avoiding stressful situations and WRONG.) (If you just read one, pick Burnout. But, the Workbook has a chapter on anger management so I’m including it for that if nothing else.)

How To ADHD YouTube videos, for people with ADHD and those who love them.

#commenting on without reblogging #relationship advice #communication skills #emotional management #coping strategies #mental illness #adhd #resources #long post

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coplins · 4 years ago

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(1/3) Thanks for responding. I totally see the queerbaiting/kill your gays criticism - it's clear from Misha's comments after the fact that he really thought he was doing something supportive and didn't get how it was the opposite. I wasn't upset with ignoring Eileen because that whole plot was so badly written, and I didn't mind blurry wife because that was a story they'd never have time to tell, so leaving it to be your choice of wife/co-parent (Jared's words) worked for me.

(2/3) I don't see Dean's lack of reciprocation as a problem because Jensen and the showrunners have continuously said that is not their intent in writing/acting that character, so anything folks read into it is subtext. Again, Misha thought it would be better rep than it was. It was a bad call. John isn't canonically a child abuser, just a lousy parent. Both Dean and Sam have done so many crappy things as well that honestly, they shouldn't be there by that metric either. 3/4) But I don't think the finale (awkwardly written as it was) cancels out their character development at all. They are different people - back at the starting point, but not the men they were when they started. Dean is emotionally open; he's dropped acting tough and can talk about his emotions. He can be alone and be okay. Sam is no longer afraid of his blood or turning into John; he can be a good dad. I wish we'd seen Jack and Cas, or heard them at least wish them well, even just a prayer. (4/4) But even though that was crappy to leave out, I don't think it negates the show or the characters. 19 added Cas and Jack's names to the table, and I can be happy with that as the final episode. I was prepared to pretend it didn't exist before it even aired. I AM really glad you're anti-harassment. The shit that even folks like Kripke have been getting on their pages has made me so sad. Dabb posted something about baboons and folks even thought it was about them, not his new show! (Also, sorry to dump like a huge text thing in your inbox. It's totally fine that we disagree on things. I've just seen so many crazy things like people blaming Jared and saying the episode was an ad for Walker and to boycott Walker - a ton of Jared hate in general, really. Or saying Jensen "Destiel Isn't Real" Ackles is secretly a heller who's been viciously silenced by the powers that be for years. And now Misha's getting dogpiled for trying to interact and understand how he fucked up.)

It's fine, Nonnie. :)

Okay, so, just to make one thing clear. If you enjoyed the finale, then I think it's great. For everyone who didn't get their joy sucked out of them, that's awesome! I got to see the Wincest side of my Tumblr dash go apeshit from happiness and I'm happy for them. I've since had to unfollow some of those blogs when they turned bitter and hateful towards those of us who didn't like the ending. I curate my Tumblr (internet in general) experience to avoid seeing hate thrown at ships, actors, characters, fans, or people in general. I unfollow people if they post too much toxic stuff no matter if they're Destiel shippers, angel fans, or whatever part of fandom they're in.

I try not to reblog too much angry/bitter crap either. There are a lot of posts on my dash that I wholeheartedly agree with but don't belong on my blog. And I've written my share of wank and rants over the years but seldom hit post because I don't want to ruin someone else's positivity. When I do hit post I tag it "spn wank" so it can be avoided. If I need to angry-rant I do so in chat. Sometimes I mess up. There are undoubtedly some less than nice posts in the Buckleming wank category on my blog.

Generally speaking, my M.O. is disengaging and/or vote with my wallet. I will never condone cyberbullying. No matter how famous the person, or how nasty they are, harassment isn't okay. Actions have consequences and I try to think of what they are before I act. If I vent hurtful opinions about an actor, it'll be kept in chat, with someone who understands that particular frustration. (Not related to the current situation.)

When it comes to canon, it doesn't matter what showrunners or actors tell us about how it's meant to be interpreted or how they meant to act it. Canon is what's shown on screen, period. As curious as I am about what the actors have to say about things, it isn't important regarding canon at all. I'll stan my boys no matter what their characters get up to on-screen. <3

Yeah, I've seen the theories and the dogpiling. Luckily, I've avoided seeing the Jared hate but I knew it would be there because the internet is a cesspool of people lashing out aimlessly or misdirecting their anger. Even IF they wrote the finale in a way that they thought would put a spotlight on Jared's upcoming series, HE was nowhere near a position of power to make that decision and should be left out of it. I just figured, if it was true that that's what they thought, then the Wincest bunch was their target audience for the new show. *shrug*

Interesting to hear your take on the finale. If I follow people who have your take, they're not vocal about it, or I'm simply missing it because I don't stalk Tumblr. All it takes for me to stop scrolling and go back to my writing is 3 unknown anime posts in a row or one reader-insert fic and I'm nope-ing the hell out of here. X)

I'm not going to argue against any of your points. It's great that you saw it that way. Fuck, I wish I did too.

I kinda feel like I need to address the child abuse comment I made, though. Some separate neglect and abuse like those aren't the same, some only count physical abuse, others include verbal abuse. Too many of my loved ones (both close friends and family) have experienced all three of those categories and the one who was left alone to care for her little sister as a child, definitely has a lot of mental scarring from it, so I'm counting neglect as abuse. That said, I fucking love John Winchester. So it might be Jeffrey Dean Morgan's charisma, so sue me. But John canonically neglected the hell out of his sons. We got proof of that even in this season when John drops his son off for days in a town where kids have gone missing recently. So, yeah... But, on the other hand, of course both he and Mary should end up in Heaven. Like, that wasn't even a question.

I think my strong reaction against it was how every part of the found family the Winchesters had gathered over the years was erased from the narrative as soon as Dean died. The only one who is shown as important is Bobby, a found-family member that initially was connected with John, not someone the brothers had found and connected with on their own. Bobby is also the only non-Winchester in the photos Sam has over his bed when he's dying. I don't know, man, "Everyone's here," simply doesn't do it for me.

"Family ends with blood" like the finale implied, only works if the greatest monsters in life haven't been family members, and my best friends (twins) growing up, just like my mother, were abused, mentally, physically, and sexually, by parents. I've seen the aftermath of those hellfires, how long it takes to assemble the fractures of your being and become, if not whole, at least functional and happy. For them, it was the friends they made along the way, those who loved them when they couldn't, who really mattered.

And that was one thing I really loved about SPN (and still do). Team Free Will. Wayward Sisters. All the people that they met along the way and connected with. I've loved to see Sam and Dean develop their bond by taking it from unhealthy, destructive co-dependency to step by step with several setbacks become their own individuals with lives outside of each other, yet still having the strong bond full of brotherly feels where the love they had for each other was rooted in respect for each other's differences and not who they "were supposed to be for each other". And unlike you, I can't see anything but regression in how the finale played out.

Okay, I gotta stop talking now. ^^ I have one scene my betas told me I need to rewrite in my next chapter, and another chapter half done, and I'm itching to post so I need to get on with it.

I hope I didn't put too much of a dampener on your enjoyment of the finale. My opinions don't matter. We all come from different life experiences and therefore find different things compelling and important. I don't begrudge anyone their happiness. <3

*Hugs*

#anonymous #spn finale #supernatural

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jasontoddiefor · 5 years ago

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Sunday Batfam Fanfic Recs!

Welcome to my second Sunday Batfam Fic Rec list!

Since the first list was such a success, I’ve decided to actually do this weekly! What is ‘this’ you ask?

Easy! Every Sunday I’ll recommend Batfam fanfics of a specific theme. The first week was Batman Beyond/Time Travel, then we had a Spooky Halloween Special and, finally, this week’s theme is…

Billionaire Batfam, Social Media & Galas!

If you want to, you can request a theme and I’ll try to find fanfictions for that!

Here’s my Batfam Fanfiction Rec Tag.

That being said, have fun reading 30 fanfictions and please leave these lovely authors a comment!

Title: #BayneIsCanon Summary: Gotham ships Batman and Bruce Wayne. He's not really sure how to feel about it. #trainwreck #bayne #scandal Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226011

Title: #gotham is trending Summary: thghhhh: ahhhhh, i'm back in gotham. can't wait to get back to a supervillain attack every other day. i've missed this. [the city of gotham, it's vigilantes, and resident billionaires - as seen through social media] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331965

Title: (Dance) Lessons Summary: “STOP!” Cass shouted, suddenly appearing between them. “No talking. No fun.” she gave each one a glare. “Only… dancing.” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205775

Title: (that moment when) A Supehero Replies to You Summary: Dick Grayson, as any good millennial, is an avid fan of Buzzfeed: Unsolved. So, when Shane and Ryan discuss the death of Jason Todd, Dick can't help but laugh. Laugh, and then film the reactions of the batfamily when they find out....in costume. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18561994

Title: a hat fashioned from tin foil Summary: nightwang @karakurachou – 8 hours ago jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread. Batfam conspiracy theories meet social media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356020

Title: and it comes back again Summary: Bruce “I accidentally slipped and fell across the room, took out three tables and broke a desk with your body as I ACCIDENTALLY fell on you also you’re going to jail” Wayne takes his young protégé down the rewarding path of revenge. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268537

Title: Brother Bear Summary: Dick slips a Disney reference into a speech, Tim only realizes because Jason sneaks into his own memorial gala to finish the quote. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036350

Title: Bruce got Therapy instead Summary: “I’m twenty four and have yet to find a partner,” Bruce stated, not looking up from the paper. “While true, I hardly think that is a subject to worry over right now. Many people your age have yet to meet someone they desire to spend the rest of their life with.” “It’s...I don’t really have a problem with the fact that I haven’t met anyone.” A pause where Bruce took a contemplative sip of his coffee. Alfred patiently waited for the young man to say what was actually going through his mind. “Well, the Manor seems rather...empty, don’t you think?” He finally looked up to his butler. Alfred fully turned to Bruce, his free hand held behind his back. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make, sir.” “I’m thinking about adopting, Alf.” OR: A world in which Bruce Wayne got therapy instead of becoming Batman. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20634062

Title: Chase You Down Until You Love Me Summary: The Waynes make a sport of their high profile in the media during yet another boring gala. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4102315

Title: Diversionary Tactic Summary: Jason, from his early days as Robin to his later days as Red Hood, has had a unique skill set. It ends up being weirdly useful and also possibly the grossest way to have a father-son relationship moment, but hey, that’s life. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624390

Title: Favorite Parts Summary: There are things Cass loves about Wayne parties, and things she does not. What she loves most is seeing her Father act himself at those parties. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195331

Title: Gala Night Summary: "What if I use the wrong fork at dinner?" "You won't" "But what if I do?" Bruce arched an eyebrow "Do you seriously think that none of the kids ever used the wrong fork?" [...] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397771

Title: Getting out of a Gala Summary: In a world where Bruce found Jason closer to nine and his fallout with Dick wasn't that bad, Jason gets forced to attend a gala. Luckily, or unluckily for him, he ends up getting out of it partway through. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968498

Title: Gotham’s Top Ten Memes Summary: Every city has its pride and Gotham isn't different. We love our “dark and gloomy” architecture (meet us in the Batburgers parking lot Metropolis) and our Waynes, our vigilantes and most importantly: Our memes. So, without much further ado, we present you Gotham’s top ten memes. Gotham, the Waynes and the Bats through the eyes of social media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19283281

Title: Happy Little Accidents Summary: Bruce and Lois have a quiet, friendly moment at a gala. Memories of their children make them laugh and cry a little. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176123

Title: Mess with Them Summary: Selina Kyle is at the first gala event a young Jason Todd attends with Bruce. And she knows exactly what he's going through. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7559761

Title: Nightmare at the Gala Summary: When an amateur group of bad guys get their hands on fear toxin, they decide to use it on their next big game: the semi-annual Gotham Leaders Family Gala. And lo and behold, your favorite vigilante family just happens to be there too. But without their alter egos, they’re just another helpless rich family with easily kidnap-able kids. Will a frantic, fear toxin induced Bruce Wayne get his head together to save them? Or will he accidentally reveal his family’s biggest secret? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885828

Title: Of Smiles and Broken Things Summary: Tim's first gala isn't going as well as he had hoped, but at least the host is nice. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899127

Title: Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts Summary: A DC universe where moms are awesome and raise their kids right. Now with more melanin and queerness. Also, Gotham's in Michigan and Metropolis is in Connecticut. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Fics are in chronological order but are all standalone. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/440926

Title: Stay a Child Summary: “Redo it,” Bruce orders. “Aw, come on!” Dick dares to pout — a thing that he uses often, and would work on anyone but Bruce and Alfred. Sometimes. Bruce gives him a look. “I’m not going to do it for you.” “I’m going to misdo it until you do,” Dick threatens. [Two times Dick went to a gala with Bruce and one time he didn’t.] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15098102

Title: The Art of the Gala Summary: Barry is the one who usually goes to these things. Unfortunately for Hal, Barry got called in to Central for a case, so now Hal has to go to the Gala with Bruce. Bruce is just lucky Hal loves him so much. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654852

Title: The Bat-Signal Smashing Charity Gala Summary: Spawned from the realization that them making Gordon physically destroy the Bat-Signal at the end of The Dark Knight is absurd and hilarious. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867965

Title: The Bats Out of the Bag (At the Drop of a Tinfoil Hat) Summary: In which Tim is Bruce's secretary, there's a gala, and questions get answered. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762865

Title: The Gotham’s Wayne Summary: dukeofthomas [We all know who the real QUEEN of the Manor is] The Gothamites are very invested in the Waynes. Very very interested. A journey through the Gotham's favorite family: the Waynes through Social Media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333119

Title: The Problem with Galas Summary: Galas are an issue, because something always goes wrong, and no one knows this better than Dick Grayson. (It's a bit of a problem, actually, but he can always depend on Bruce to get him out of trouble.) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/906501

Title: The Wayne Deal Summary: Bruce Wayne's parents made a deal, if you do something to make yourself noticed at a Gotham Gala- enough to impress the papers, then they will leave right away. Bruce passes this deal along to the children in his custody.Each one adds their own flair to it. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641559

Title: three bars, one city Summary: The Wayne kids join Twitter. This is widely seen as a very bad move. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172040

Title: Unattended Wards and their Unfortunate Guardians Summary: Roy and Dick are left alone for a couple hours at a gala. How much trouble could two boys possibly cause while unattended? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770661

Title: Wayne Family Tweets, aka Why Bruce Wayne's Hair Is Going Gray Summary: JTW @hottoddie oh okay u hold a totally acceptable grudge for a couple years and suddenly ur “”bitter”” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387441

Title: Wayne Gala Summary: Alfred teaches the boys how to dance. The girls go shopping for dresses. And it only took three hours into the party for all that effort go to waste. …But that's fine. They were Waynes. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316591

#dc #dc comics #batman #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #Stephanie Brown #batfamrecs

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pocketseizure · 4 years ago

Text

Disneybound

Case #0180602. Statement of Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange experience at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on June 2, 2018.

Jonathan takes the statement of someone whose memories may not accurately reflect the events of his childhood. He then has a short conversation with Martin and learns something (perhaps not so) surprising about Elias.

The events of this story take place after Episode 103, "Cruelty Free" (the one in which Jon reads the statement of a farmer in New Zealand with a monster pig).

( This story is also on AO3. )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jon cast a level gaze at the American sitting on the other side of the table. He was fit and clean-shaven, and he appeared to be in his early thirties. He wore a wide grin and a bright red shirt depicting Minnie Mouse posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Jon sighed and pressed the record button of his tape recorder.

“Statement of Theodore Nakamura – ”

“Call me Ted, please. Or Teddy, if you like. All my friends do.”

“Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange phenomenon he experienced at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disney World – ”

“Sorry, but it’s ‘Disneyland.’ Disney World is the one in Florida.”

“In Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on May 25, 2018.”

“This is exciting! I love the detail you’ve devoted to authenticity. The tape recorder is a nice touch.”

Jon grimaced. “Statement begins.”

A hint of uncertainty crept into Ted’s smile. “I’ve never done this before. Is there a protocol? Maybe some sort of standard introduction I should start with?”

“Just tell me about the incident you came to report. You can start whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ted clapped his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. Jon watched as his eyes made a brief circuit around the densely packed shelves arranged in disorderly rows at the rear of the room before finally coming to rest on one of the objects jammed between the accordion folders and cardboard boxes. He’d witnessed this process often enough that he could pinpoint the object of the man’s attention – a cloudy snow globe with a tarnished metal base. It wasn’t connected to any of the cases on file in the archives, merely something Gertrude had brought back from one of her travels on a whim.

“I guess you could say that I’m not the sort of person who would be the star of a Disney movie,” Ted began. “I’m not an orphan, and I had a happy childhood. My mother was an architect who moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles during the construction boom of the 1980s, and my father went to business school at UCLA and never left. His family is from Seattle, and they made some money in real estate in the 1990s. We’re comfortably middle class, but I went to one of the big public schools in Orange County.”

He paused, seeming to expect some sort of reaction. When it became clear that no such reaction was forthcoming, he continued.

“Even in LA, where everyone tries to stand out, high school was all about belonging to a group. I didn’t have any interest in the grandstanding of my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and I didn’t have the looks or the talent for the student theater club, which is where a lot of kids like me spent a year or two on their way out of the closet. Mostly I kept my grades up and my head down as my circle of friends from middle school gradually went their separate ways.

“My mom worked from home, and she made sure our house had the first high-speed internet connection in my neighborhood. I don’t mind admitting that I spent a lot of time online. I posted an embarrassing number of bad stories about cartoon characters on LiveJournal, and I eventually ended up being invited to join a popular Disney fan community moderated by a friend of a friend. All the people I spoke with on the comm were strangers, at least at first, but we gradually got to know one another as we responded to each other’s posts and comments.

“Between one thing and another, we somehow managed to figure out that most of us were the same age. Oddly enough, a lot of us lived in SoCal, so we decided to meet up over the summer at Disneyland. Everyone showed up, and we had a great time. We met again the next summer, and then again after my senior year.

“Nothing bad happened, but I stopped updating my LiveJournal after that. I went to college in New York, got a job in the city, and fell out of touch with most of my online friends.

“I moved back to LA four years ago, not that I do anything glamorous. I manage the back end of a tech company’s website and intranet, mostly database stuff, but I still have an IG account. I started it just for fun, but I joined early and picked up more than a thousand followers in less than a year. Someone suggested that it would be cool for me to visit to Disneyland and post photos, so I thought, why not? Like, I love Disneyland!”

Jon cleared his throat. “And what is this ‘strange incident’ you came to report?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to it. It’s important that you know my background, right? What I’m trying to say is that I’d only been to Disneyland three times before. It wasn’t a major part of my life. But it was a good part of my life – that’s important.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgment. “Very well, then. Duly noted.”

“Disneyland was considered to be a little seedy when I was in high school, but it’s gotten fancy in the past ten years or so. It used to be that you could just walk in, but these days you practically have to make an itinerary. So I did some research, got a group of people together, and we went and saw the sights. Everyone wore an outfit to match the style of a character, and we took a lot of pictures. The photos were so popular that I hit 5k followers in less than 24 hours, can you believe it? Everyone and their sister is into DisneyBounding these days, but picking up that sort of following from on-location fashion photos was still a thing you could do in 2015.

“Like I said, I had a happy childhood, but no one ever paid me that sort of attention. It was such a dopamine hit, you have no idea. Or maybe you do?”

Jon grit his teeth. “Please continue with the statement.”

Ted laughed. “Pushy, aren’t you? But that’s all right. It’s weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Has anyone ever said that to you before?”

“You’re not the first.”

“Maybe it’s the librarian thing you’ve got going on – or archivist thing, sorry. Puts me right at ease. And I appreciate that. If there’s an adult who willingly goes to Disneyland for fun, especially someone like me, people tend to think that’s creepy. The therapist I was seeing at the time called it ‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ of all things. I never went to another appointment with her again, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that I kept going back to Disneyland, usually with friends but sometimes with my boyfriend, who I met on Insta. We bonded while sharing theories about the Haunted Mansion, which is… Well, it used to be my favorite ride in the park. It still is, I guess, but I can’t go on it anymore.

“It took me long enough to get here, but this is the part of my story that should interest you. The reason I like the Haunted Mansion is because it reminds me of my mother, who passed away from a heart attack while I was living in New York. It was very sudden, completely out of the blue, and I never got to say good-bye. I never cared about the Haunted Mansion when I was in high school – we all thought it was cringe for some silly teenage reason that probably involved how awkward it would be if we were in the dark with each other. It wasn’t until I visited the park again as an adult that I finally went on the ride. When I did, I had this sudden flashback to a childhood memory.

“I must have gone to Disneyland with my parents when I was young, because standing in the dark and listening to the music made me recall being on the ride with my mother. This was during the lead-up, before you get in the Doom Buggies and begin the ride proper. I remember being absolutely terrified by what I thought was an endless maze. I felt like that line, after it entered the building, lasted forever. Kids can be like that sometimes, but my memory of this is crystal clear – the corridor genuinely didn’t end. I felt like there were people all around us, there had to be, but somehow it was just me and my mother, alone in the darkness.

“And then I remember that this terrible thing appeared out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to describe it. It definitely wasn’t a person in a costume, but it was too realistic to be the projection of a cartoon, and it was talking to us in voice that sounded like laughter and crying at the same time. Like it was hurt, but it found its pain amusing. Meanwhile, the walls kept stretching, and as they got taller I started to see awful things in the gaps between the ceiling and the floor.

“My mother held my hand the whole time. She kept whispering to me: ‘It’s going to be okay. You are brave, and you are strong. Nothing in here can hurt you.’ Just that, over and over, until the ride was over.

“When we finally got out, I ran straight to my dad, who knelt down on the pavement on the other side of the gate and hugged me. He and my mother both patted my back as I cried. I was so relieved to be outside again that my tears wouldn’t stop.

“My dad seemed confused by how afraid I was. This didn’t occur to me until I started thinking about it much later, but isn’t it strange that he didn’t understand why a young child would be frightened by a scary ride?

“I moved back to LA almost immediately after my mom’s funeral, but Dad became a little distant with me. We were both grieving, and it must have seemed callous to him that I was posting shots of myself at Disneyland on social media right after Mom died. Really I just needed a break from the move, from my job, from mourning, from everything – and I guess a part of me felt like my mother would never die as long as I kept returning to that memory of her holding my hand in the Haunted Mansion.

“My dad eventually moved on and married a younger woman. She would probably be my evil stepmother if my life were a Disney movie, but she’s actually a princess, and I adore her. I spend more time with her than I do with my dad these days, but I’m trying to do better. I thought I could reconnect with him if I took him along with me on a visit to the park, but he turned down my invitation. He told me he enjoyed my photos, but that he had never been to Disneyland and had no interest in going. Too many screaming children, he said.

“That was a surprise to me, so I told him about my memory of the Haunted Mansion. While I was talking, his face went completely pale. I don’t mean that as a figure of speech – it was like all the blood had been drained from his skin.

“He insisted that he had never been to Disneyland with me and my mother, but then he told me something strange. When I was about five years old, we went to visit his family in Seattle. My grandfather had just taken on management of a property in Capitol Hill, one of the old Gothic Revival mansions that used to be common there before the neighborhood gentrified. It was an old house, almost as old as the city itself, but my grandfather was having trouble finding potential buyers. The property had been designed by the student of a famous British architect by the name of Robert Smirke, and he wanted my mother to come take a look. Do a walkthrough, point out any potential areas of interest and value, that sort of thing.

“According to my father, my mother had a bad experience in that house. She refused to talk about it with him or anyone else, and she never went back to Seattle. She took me along with her on her tour of the property, and I was apparently just as upset as she was when we came out, even though my dad says we spent less than ten minutes inside. If I thought this place was the Haunted Mansion, and if the ride at Disneyland evoked such a strong memory, it makes me wonder – what did we see in that house?

“I checked with my grandfather, and he said the property never did find a buyer. The only person who seemed seriously interested was a British woman by the name of Gertrude Robinson. Shortly after she made inquiries, the place burned down. Imagine my surprise when I ran a search and learned that this Gertrude Robinson was employed by an institute dedicated to paranormal research.

“So,” Ted concluded, meeting Jon’s eyes, “I gave you my statement. I hope it will be useful to you. I was wondering what you could tell me in return.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. As you can see, we’re still in the process of organizing our records. We’ll investigate to the best of our abilities and contact you if we learn anything.”

“I would love that, thank you. Well, you have my information so…”

“We’ll be in touch. I believe I see my assistant Melanie hovering around. She used to have a large following on social media herself. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you outside.”

“So you’re from LA,” Jon heard Melanie say as she held the door open. Ted directed his dazzling smile at her, which she returned before allowing the door to slam shut behind them.

“Statement ends,” Jon muttered as listened to their conversation growing fainter. He ended the recording and leaned back in his chair.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share, Martin?”

“Oh, I, um,” Martin stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt the, you know. The statement.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he emerged from between the shelves.

“It’s fine, Martin. It was a relief. To know that you were listening.”

“I’m sorry, I… What? It was?”

“I’ve never been good with people like that.”

“People like… Wait, excuse me?”

“People who are so…” Jon made a vague gesture to illustrate his point. “Sunny. Bright. Content. When someone comes here to make a statement, they’re usually upset.”

“Ah, right. I can see what you mean. But he looks like he just got back from a trip to the happiest place on earth.”

“The happiest place on earth?”

“You know, Disneyland Paris.”

“Disneyland Paris? They finished construction?”

“A few decades ago, actually.”

Jon sympathized with Ted Nakamura’s father. Between the crowds and the relentless sunshine, he couldn’t imagine a more ghastly location, and by this point he considered himself something of an expert on cursed geography.

“I don’t suppose we’ll have to go there ourselves to investigate,” he said, making an attempt to smile. He failed. His muscles were still tense from the process of taking a statement, and his face felt frozen.

“Really? You… want to go to Disneyland Paris? I suppose I could come too, I mean, if it’s not…”

Jon was alarmed by how red Martin’s face was becoming. Did Martin want to go to a theme park? Jon didn’t know much about Disneyland – or Paris, for that matter – but his childhood had been unusual, to say the least. He’d never asked, but Martin’s family couldn’t have been much if he had nowhere to sleep but down here in the archives. Perhaps he could use a vacation. Perhaps they both could.

Jon turned to face his assistant. “Martin, I…”

“Did someone say Disneyland Paris?”

Jon frowned. “Does this conversation interest you, Elias?”

“I heard you were planning a trip. You really must go sometime. It’s fantastic, quite the experience. I went myself, back in 1996.”

Elias made a quick series of taps on the screen of his phone before holding it out in front of him. Jon and Martin leaned forward to get a better look.

In the photo, Elias was posing next to someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume. He wore an aloha shirt over denim shorts, and he was grinning from ear to ear. The camera had caught him in the act of pulling a tall man with a square jaw and a severe expression into the frame. The image quality was poor, but the man seemed far too pale for the summer sunshine.

Jon’s frown deepened. “And that is…?”

“Oh, this is Peter. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’m sure.”

“Do you, um. Do you go to Disneyland often, then?” Martin asked.

“Just the once. Peter lost a bet, you see.”

“Right.” Jon couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a bad feeling about this.

“I wouldn’t mind going back. We could all go together, make an office party of it. It would be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you, Archivist?”

Martin’s eyes darted between Elias and Jon. “I don’t think it’s safe to…”

“Come now,” Elias interrupted. “Would you have any reason not to?”

“China.”

“Excuse me?”

“China. I need to follow up on a statement, something Gertrude was looking into before she traveled to New Zealand.”

“Excellent. I’m glad that’s settled. I’ll leave you to your preparations, then.”

“Damn it.” Jon clenched his fists on the table as Elias left. A trap had been set, and he’d walked right into it.

“Don’t feel bad,” Martin said, oddly perceptive. After everything they’d been through, Jon was coming to appreciate that about him. “At least we know that Elias is still human. He likes Disneyland, after all.”

Jon wasn’t convinced that a fondness for theme parks qualified someone as being ‘human,’ but what would he know? He had to admit that Elias was right about one thing – it would do him good to get out of the archives.

“Are you really going to China, then?”

“I suppose I am.” Jon removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ve always wanted to go someplace like that, somewhere far away,” Martin said, his eyes darting to the tape recorder on the table. “I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… If you don’t mind, of course. Maybe I could, I mean, we could go out for a coffee together. After you get back.”

“All right,” Jon replied, replacing his glasses. That would be rather nice, actually. “After I get back.”

#The Magnus Archives #Jonathan Sims #Martin Blackwood #Elias Bouchard #Haunted Mansion #full episode format #canon compliant #ghost stories #my fic

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btsandvmin · 5 years ago

Text

Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN

I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN

I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.

Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)

Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line

Sorry for spamming with asks

You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it

I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another

What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?

About tae changing the choreo of fake love

What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?

"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?

I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him

When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin

Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist

Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that

Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"

I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.

Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general

IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why?

You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?

I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him

Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men?

We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad

What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?

When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.

What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.

If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious

Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.

The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me.

Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore

Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae

A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con

Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face

When do you think their friendship turned into something more?

Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple.

Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother

Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.

Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door'

I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?

Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "

What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality.

Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.

Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc.

I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping

I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it

I have a doubt about vmin recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin

Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack

I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.

Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates?

In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?

Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live.

What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?

It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it?

Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?

Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?

On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.

Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments

But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?

You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life

You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right

If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?

Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)

I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama

Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual?

I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together

You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?

Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?

Do you think that vmin are straight?

Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight

Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.

Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?

Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.

Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.

I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company

Maknae line avoid vlives and its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae

Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?

Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin

In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments

Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?

I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show

If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?

Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"

Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?

Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?

Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama

What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?

I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.

Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ?

Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses

Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them

About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends

Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?

Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu

Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.

Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it

Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate

This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship

Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond

I fear that vmin will become the next larry

Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?

I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there

Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?

Recently i watched a vkook video to compare

Do you know how exactly vmin met?

Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things

At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.

I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.

I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go

The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first

Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house

Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis

What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together

This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart

Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them

Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!

#vmin #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #Btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin masterpost #vmin masterpost #Btsandvmin answer #95z is love #my post #keep loving vmin

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makeste · 5 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 246: Plot Whiplash

Previously on BnHA: Hawks handed Endeavor a copy of Re-Destro’s NYT bestseller and was all “ಠ_ಠ READ THIS!!” He then flew off back to the PLF and was all “hey guys just got back from handing out free copies of Destro’s book to everyone in a 1000-mile radius, which absolutely nobody asked me to do, well anyways you can thank me later” and they were all “SWEET.” Back at the Endeavor HQ, Bakugou got all fired up to BUST SOME HEADS but Endeavor’s sidekicks were all “WAIT FOR THE PLOT YOUNG MAN.” Meanwhile in his office, Endeavor discovered a secret code in the book Hawks gave him, which basically read “HEY WHAT’S UP THE LEAGUE HAS TAKEN OVER THE MLA AND HAS AN ARMY OF 100,000 PEOPLE” and Endeavor was like “!!!!” And then we cut to the League and Toga was all “IN FOUR MONTHS TOMURA IS BLOWING THIS SHIT TO KINGDOM COME” and then the chapter just ended. Sometimes it be like that.

Today on BnHA: Tomura sits down with Ujiko who monologues a bit about Quirk Singularity and then starts some sort of quirk-upgrading process which will apparently take four months to fully set in. And also he’s like “oh btw let me tell you about One for All” so THAT’S A THING NOW, GREAT. We then cut back and forth between Endeavor and Hawks, who both somehow come to the weird conclusion that THE INTERNS ARE OUR ONLY HOPE NOW using logic that is hard to explain on account of THERE ACTUALLY ISN’T ANY LOGIC BEHIND IT, SHHH. But anyway, so Endeavor figures out the rest of Hawks’s message and he knows that Hawks is trying to figure out what the League is up to, and something something that’s why the internships are so important. Like, I get that the Terrible Trio are future legends in the making, but these guys are seriously like “well okay let’s just go ahead and rest all our hopes on them” out of the blue, and Hawks has this big monologue about how “THINGS WON’T GO ACCORDING TO YOUR PLAN, VILLAINS” and okay then!! And then the last two pages are basically just DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME HYPE with more shit going on than I can possibly sum up so I won’t even try lol. But damn.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

okay guys, I’m feeling kinda under the weather today, but I know this chapter’s gonna be good so lesssssss gooooooo. bring me back to life Horikoshi

(ETA: lol well there sure was a lot happening in this chapter, that’s for sure. my head hurts.)

oooooh it’s a sexy Jump cover celebrating season 4!

I really need the anime team to step up and give Ochako and Tsuyu some more screentime in the Basement Arc since the manga did not do them justice. there’s only like a 20% chance of that happening, which is depressing, but it’s 2019 and the winds are slowly changing, albeit at a geriatric pace. so I’ll allow myself to have some hope. you never know

YEAH SON LOOK AT THIS COLOR SPREAD Y’ALL THIS IS RAD

hello I love everything about this. the colors, the focus on our best girls, Deku’s bizarre-yet-awesome assorted sci-fi accessories (Deku do those headphones let you communicate with space or what), and of course, the five million TVs in the background which for some reason all appear to be from the 70s. all of this to remind us to TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE LONG-AWAITED SEASON 4 DEBUT. I will definitely tune in! the first episode is just gonna be the usual half filler/half clip show, but honestly season 3 was so good that I could sit through a whole hour of nothing but highlights and still be thoroughly entertained

anyway let’s move on because there are GAMES AFOOT, and we’re hopefully about to learn which direction this arc will be headed in!

OH SHIT OH FUCK

yep, that’s him. Shigaraki “destruction incarnate” Tomura. I see we’re getting our weekly dose of “just a reminder that WE ARE SCREWED” even earlier than usual this chapter, huh

so does anyone else get a chill up their spine every time Ujiko makes an appearance, or is that just me? like, god. he may honestly be even creepier than AFO. he’s just completely soulless, this guy. he’s got like this Mengele vibe to him (though that may be kinda dicey to compare horrific real-life atrocities to fictional ones in a shounen manga, but I’m just trying to explain why I find him so disturbing) and it really freaks me the hell out, ngl. anyways so him wearing a surgical mask and standing in front of this weird examination chair is pretty much the last thing I need right now. go away Ujiko

so Tomura is all “I want it cuz you promised, so pay up jackass”, and like. fair, though

I really like this new art style Horikoshi’s been using for him since his Awakening. kinda curious how it’s going to translate to the anime, or even to a color spread. but at the very least in black and white it looks siiiiick

smh look at this little punk trying to downplay how insanely freaking overpowered his quirk currently is

okay first of all, “President Baldy” is only alive because you left him alive. and he also had to chop off his own legs to stay that way. like, what kind of argument is this, Tomura? “this power is far from invincible, all my enemies have to do is amputate their own limbs and then they’ll have me right where they want me.” you know what, just go on and destroy the world right now kid. you’re getting greedy now and it could be your undoing

that is a nice parallel between him and Deku there, though. now I’m craving some Symbolic Artwork of them standing back to back each holding out their scarred right arms. maybe with their respective mentors in the background. here at BnHA we prefer our parallels nice and dramatic

sdskfjlaskdj

son of a bitch. I really wish he wouldn’t say that with such utter certainty. “the next conflict will be our last.” cue me flipping through the BnHA table of contents and trying to determine just how far along we actually are here, because this is veering dangerously close to Final Battle signaling, and like, ALREADY?? TOMURA ARE YOU JUST BEING THEATRICAL OR ARE YOU FOR REAL OMG. motherfucking DARK LORD’S LIPS curling into the WICKEDEST FUCKING CRESCENT I’VE EVER SEEN, fuck me

(ETA: it occurs to me on readthrough #2 that “the next conflict will be our last” could be interpreted to mean him and All Might specifically. like, the last conflict between the two of them. and that might very well be true, and would not surprise me at all. shit.)

fjsgk now Ujiko’s talking about research. and quirks!! glkjlkl

fully expecting the camera to cut to some NOUMUS any second now oh my god. also trying not to think about how crazy ominous that fucking chair looks. and how many people this maniac has probably strapped down to it and done god knows what to them. hey Horikoshi you know what, I’ve had just about enough of this dark shit, can we please cut back to my kids now I’m feeling too unsettled. goddammit

anyhow of course we are NOT cutting away, and Ujiko is continuing to talk about quirk evolution, and now segueing into a speech about that quirk singularity thing. -- which he apparently named?? wow

is he actually going to do something to Tomura? holy shit?? this whole time that they’ve been talking about this “power” I’ve just been assuming it was something external, like some other handy dandy villain resource that AFO’s just been sitting on or something. this is not where I expected things to go. didn’t he just get an upgrade??

anyway so here’s a brief summary I just wrote up of The Past Six Months of BnHA:

Deku: [gets a new quirk]

everyone: bruh. Horikoshi really out here giving Deku AFO Powers while Tomura just sits around starving to death on a couch. what the heck

Horikoshi: [powers up Tomura to the point where he can destroy anything just by it being in contact with something that Tomura happens to be touching] [has Tomura use this power to level an entire city]

everyone: -- oh. okay, you know what, never mind --

Horikoshi: [gives Tomura an army of 100,000 people] [also gives him command of 11 extremely lethal and nigh-unstoppable killing machines, just one of which was almost enough to take out the number one hero, LITERALLY THE STRONGEST GUY THE GOOD GUYS CURRENTLY HAVE IN RESERVE]

everyone: okay we’re sorry we get it you can sto --

Horikoshi: APOCALYPSE IN FOUR MONTHS!!!

everyone: WE GET IT WE’RE SORRY PLEASE

Horikoshi: [GIVES TOMURA ANOTHER POWER-UP]

everyone: [curled up in fetal position sobbing]

starting to think the mangaka might be the actual final villain here. hmm

anyway. so I guess we have four months until Tomura ascends to Actual Godhood and proceeds to rain hellfire down upon the world. what are you all gonna do with your four months. I personally have a lot of stuff to binge, but knowing me I’ll probably just waste all my time reading fanfic while youtube videos play in the background which I’m not paying any attention to. what am I doing with my life

oh were we not done hyping him up? there’s more??

(ETA: I got so caught up in the OFA comment I didn’t pay attention to Tomura becoming a beautiful decayed butterfly in this exquisitely creepy panel here. but damn.)

-- HOLD THE FUCK UP. does Tomura know about One for All??? because I was under the impression that AFO hadn’t told him? this would change a lot if he knew this entire time, holy shit?!

aaaaaaaaand exactly one panel later Horikoshi is all “no he didn’t know calm the fuck down” lol

okay then. so he didn’t know, and he’s only just finding out now. well tbh that’s still worthy of a smiling crying emoji face though :’) this is fineeee

shit here we go oh shit

-- WAIT, SO WE’RE JUST CUTTING AWAY FROM THEM? NOW YOU CUT AWAY? YOU GET WITHIN INCHES OF CONFIRMING THE FUCKING ALL FOR ONE FOR ALL THEORY AND THEN IT’S JUST “ANYWAYS HERE’S ENDEAVOR” YOU KNOW WHAT, HORIKOSHI, I --

just. come on dude. AFOFA 2019! let’s make it happen! dammit

sigh, so looks like it’s back to the admittedly-still-epic “Hawks passes down secret information about the villains to Endeavor” plot. I guess we’re not exactly hurting for good plots all around. I may complain but honestly we are spoiled

so Hawks is saying that he actually doesn’t know the specifics of the villains’ plans yet. well shit

apparently his feathers can only pick up sounds from short range, and the villains keep escorting him away whenever they get to talking about the good stuff. well at least that explains that potential plot hole from last week. Hawks’s feathers may have a short range, but Horikoshi’s plot hole caulking gun can fill in leaky plot holes from fucking miles away. amazing

ffffffff

don’t mind me I’m just sitting here fretting about Hawks continuing to be in mortal danger and risking his life to gather information in a race against time against the end of the world. Horikoshi out here piling up stakes like a freaking vampire hunter

but in the meantime, everyone please stop what you’re doing for a moment to look at this absolute unit of a bellhop slash security guard

apologies Lord Vader he was just trying to get to the dining hall. my bad. as you were

and holy shit I hope you enjoyed that light comedic break because two seconds later Re-Destro has dropped in to fixate Hawks with one of those Lightly Menacing Smiles he’s so infamous for. so that��s just fucking great!

HAWKS WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FINGERS

omg. imagine, a showdown between the two stealth murder MVPs of the series, Yotsubashi “Sleeper Hold” Rikiya (yes I did have to look up his real name just now) and Takami “Tag Em And Bag Em” Keigo. true, RD may no longer have legs, but he didn’t need them to choke out our little mouse buddy now did he? anyways speaking of which I just remembered that I fucking hate Re-Destro and I honestly hope Hawks does kill him. it’d be pretty easy to fit him into a bag too. he’s basically just a torso and arms now

oh sure Horikoshi go ahead and spring this on me after all of that ranting why don’t you

by the way does Re-Destro have Robot Legs now, or

looool he does

I will say this for Horikoshi, he knows my weaknesses. more robot limbs please. either badass or memeable ones, either is fine

meanwhile I skipped over this panel of Hawks and Twice being buddies in order to get to the legs, and shame on me for that. let’s go back

Twice is a genuinely good guy and I hope Hawks can tell. I wonder how fake this smile is. I feel like it’d be easy to relax around Twice regardless of how tense you are about your secret spy mission which could go south at any time. anyways this is wholesome

and now we’re cutting back to Endeavor who is taking his sweet time reacting to this whole thing. Endeavor can you fucking chill with the poker face already geez

okay wait, what

are you serious?! I fucking can’t with this lady. “now make sure to throw these children directly into the line of fire! it’s good for them and builds character!” I’m sorry, I thought this was the Hero Public Safety Commission, not the Putting Juveniles Directly Into Harm’s Way Commission?? at least change the acronym to something more appropriate then. Heinous Pathetic Soulless Cowards. just a suggestion. jesus

anyway so for a moment I got confused as to whether this was implying that she’d told Endeavor about Hawks’s undercover mission. but it seems like he’s still unaware. shouldn’t be too long before he puts the pieces together though at this rate

lol in the very next panel, even

meanwhile you’re just sitting on your ass reading a book! FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY, ENDEAVOR

so he’s thinking that the “preparation” part of Hawks’s message is referring to the interns. let me back up a sec and write down the entire message as he’s read it thus far

“four months from now / rising to action / until then / will send / signals / in case / of failure / preparation / numbers”

...read like that, it really does sound like Hawks is advocating to get as many soldiers ready as possible. even if that includes actual children. including Endeavor’s own son. shit. I mean, I get that they don’t have much of a choice, but that’s still so fucked up. sure, we as omniscient readers know that Deku is their one and only hope, but they don’t know that. as far as they know these are just a bunch of teenagers with less than a year’s worth of experience that they’re propping up on the front lines. and the plan is then... what? hope they don’t die too quickly?? fuck

Hawks is out here having an argument with me in his thoughts. you wanna play it like that, Hawks? fine

I don’t know what kind of “but” you can tag on to the end of that paragraph that could possibly win me over, dude, but go for it I guess

and we’re finally cutting back to the kids in question now! with Burnin’ casually trying to crush Kacchan’s hopes and dreams

okay but I love how both Deku and Shouto are like “easy there buddy, we got you” and trying to keep Kacchan from having a fucking aneurysm sob. JUST TRY AND HOIST HIM ONTO SOME DUMB SIDEKICKS, LADY. YOU’VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY HERE TODAY

oh shit

oh my god. are we going to get our first actual interaction between the three of them that doesn’t consist of them grumbling annoyed introductions at each other and then running off to fight an old fortune teller omggggg

I love how Deku and Bakugou look weirdly intimidated by him lol. Bakugou where did all that “YOU’RE KIND OF A JERK” confidence go all of a sudden

YESSSSSSS

GODDAMMIT, I’M STILL SO MAD AT YOU GUYS FOR BEING ALL “LET’S JUST MAKE THE CHILDREN DO IT,” BUT DAMMIT THEY KICK ASS THOUGH SO I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR POINT

NOW HAWKS IS METAING ABOUT THEM AHHHHHHH

DAMN STRAIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE. BRING ON TOMURA AND ALL OF HIS STUPID POWER-UPS. WOW I’M WEIRDLY HYPED UP ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME

AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS TWO-PAGE SPREAD AHHHHHHHHHHH

MOTHERFUCKER [WHIPS OUT PEN AND NOTEBOOK] TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BITCH

so Ochako and Tsuyu did indeed go back to intern with Ryuukyuu again! makes sense, she is a top ten hero after all. who’s that with them, though? almost looks like Yanagi from the hair and the mask, but the costume looks different? hmm

I CAN’T BELIEVE IIDA WENT BACK TO INTERN WITH FUCKING MANUAL AGAIN. THIS GUY IS THE BRAN CEREAL OF HEROES. though I fucking love him though so yeah it’s fine

JIROU AND SHOUJI TEAMING UP WITH GANG FUCKING ORCA AW YISS BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT LET’S GOOOO

KOUDA AND MANGA TEAMING UP WITH WASH OMG. MANGA IS THE ONLY ONE ON THAT TEAM WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SPEAKS. IS WASH’S SIDEKICK SOME SORT OF BROOM PERSON OMG

A WHOLE FUCKING ACRE OF KIDS HAVE ALL GANGED UP ON THIS CAVEMAN-LOOKING FELLA I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE. WHO ARE YOU. DID YOU CROSS OVER FROM THE FANTASY AU

KIRI BACK WITH FG AND BROUGHT TETSUTETSU ALONG FOR THE RIDE HELLS YEAHHHH

KAMINARI AND SERO WITH KAMUI WOODS AND EDGESHOT I’M HYPERVENTILATING AHHH. AND SHIOZAKI TOO!! I’LL JUST PRETEND I DON’T SEE MINETA THERE IN THE CORNER. MIGHT BE TIME TO DUST OFF THE OLD “CANCELLED” STAMP AGAIN BUT WE’LL SEE HOW THINGS GO

WHO ARE MOMO AND TOKAGE AND MINA AND AOYAMA (WHICH BTW IS THE GREATEST HERO TEAMUP OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT) TEAMING UP WITH!? TELL US. AND PONY AND MONOMA. GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI

whew! anyway. they’re all still screwed, but by golly that was nice to have that little invigorating breather of life and hope

LOL OH SHIT THERE’S ANOTHER ONE

okay, SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHAT ALL MIGHT IS LOOKING AT OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT. holy shit. he was researching the past users of OFA, wasn’t he? WHAT DID YOU FIND OH GOD. he’s not just upset, he looks one step shy of fucking crying?? did he learn about what happened to Nana’s son and his family, maybe? shit shit shit

so Yanagi is interning with Kendou then? so who was that with Hadou and Ryuukyuu and the rest. one of Ryuukyuu’s sidekicks?

IS THAT FUYUMI (SPOILERS FUCKING YEAH IT IS) AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FUCKING PRAYING OMG. it looks like she’s kneeling at a family altar?? like saying a prayer for someone who is PRESUMED DEAD, maybe?? LIKE MAYBE A LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER OH SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE THE HYPE DON’T STOP!!

AND WHY DOES NAO HAVE HIS HAT OFF AND CLUTCHED TO HIS CHEST LIKE HE’S TELLING SOMEONE BAD NEWS. GOD WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE ALL OF THESE PLOT THINGS HAPPENING ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK NEXT

KUROGIRI AHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ERI’S HORN!? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?? AIZAWA??? HELLO!?!?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TEAM OT3. TIME TO FUCKING SUIT UP. APPARENTLY. WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. [JACKET ZIP] [GUN COCKING SOUND EFFECT] LET’S GO PUNCH ‘EM IN THE MOUTH

y’all. this chapter was like plot whiplash. this went in so many different directions and hinted at so many different things that I’m at a complete fucking loss as to what to process first. but I guess the interns are gonna save us all, somehow. lol okay then

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 246 #shigaraki tomura #hawks #endeavor #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #horikoshi: [makes tomura sexy]#everyone: okay that part is fine I guess #horikoshi: [tells tomura about one for all]#me: :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') welp

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