#also fandom drama is fucking exhausting and people need to stop acting like it's some Systemic Harm to hurt their personal feelings

[redshiftsinger]

YES. Also I want to elaborate a bit on this, in a different direction:

but i think it's super important too that izzy's healing is worth it without romantic love.

That's kind of the big kicker for the whole redemption arc, for me.

Because way too often you see redemption arcs having to culminate in the Redeemed Party being rewarded with everything they wanted all along, usually including romantic love (from the person they've been chasing all along and have finally "become worthy" of).

And while it's not an inherently BAD kind of story to tell, it's wildly overdone. It's tropey. It's often done really poorly such that the love interest is just treated like a prize. Congrats on not being an asshole anymore! Here's your sexy damsel reward. What, she should have agency in the decision and it doesn't make sense for her to suddenly fall all over you? shush that's not how Just Rewards work! You're a Good Person now so you deserve that hottie, how SHE feels about it is irrelevant! (it's usually a woman, of course. If OFMD had gone there it wouldn't be, but if that were the only divergence from the trope, I think it would still feel just as cheap and weird)

I honestly barely dared to hope for a redemption arc like we got -- one that doesn't just culminate in a big ol' pile of rewards. All past bad actions erased like they never happened, everyone's feelings heart-eyed, Redeemed Party's love interest falls at their feet. Rather, one that requires accepting not being able to have what they wanted, the wanting of which drove them to the actions they need redemption for. One where that acceptance is part of what proves that the redemption is real growth and change, not just putting on a pretense for a more effective way of manipulating the world into giving them what they want.

I expected that Izzy would die at the end of s2. The narrative structure always suggested that ending for his part in the story. He's an inverted mirror of Mary in s1, the active antagonist to her passive antagonist, each causing problems for their respective protagonists who also have an inverted-mirror relationship in characterization and arc. Different in key ways, but very alike. That's a whole other post, this would get too long if I did that tangent here, but anyway.

I didn't expect him to get a redemption. I expected him to stay an antagonist and die a villain.

I hoped, though, that maybe I was wrong and we'd get the kind of redemption arc I've wanted to see for a long time, and chronically found most redemption-arc stories to fall far short of.

We got it. Nearly exactly as I would have most loved to see it written. It's BEAUTIFUL. It's real. It's actually believable that Izzy really, truly has figured out how much he screwed up and has changed and healed. It took a lot to get him to the point of finally being receptive to it (considering how thick a repression wall he had built up, it's not surprising it took a wrecking ball to break it down), but he got there. I kept expecting them to pull a gotcha, to un-redeem him somehow, and if they had it still could have been a satisfying story. It would have been a much more typical story.

I'm still having a hard time believing that they really fucking did that. They pulled it off. Holy shit.

all right. i'm ready to talk about izzy.

izzy is a great character. in s1 he sits in this great position as an antagonist that's close to the main characters, and in s2 he sits in this great position as an antagonist who's gotten everything he wanted, and found that actually - fuck! - that's not it at all. the world changes enough in s1 that there's no satisfaction in izzy getting what he wants out of blackbeard. and it's not just ed that's changed, it's not just the crew, izzy himself is fundamentally changed too. even before s2, and that change continues to grow and flourish through the series.

in reality, death is cruel. and death is senseless. and death is unfair, and shitty, and it happens to the wrong people at the wrong time, too early, with too much to live for, who mean too much to too many. it happens.

maybe izzy's death is all of those things, but i don't think that's the point. it's not meant as a lesson in mortality; it's not meant as retribution for past crimes; it's not meant as a commentary on who deserves to live and who deserves to die. it's not about deserving. if anything, it's about the fact that deserving doesn't come into it at all.

the point is that izzy healed.

a lot has been made of the fact that izzy is the only character who bears visible scars from the kraken era - the scar on his head, as well as the leg. but i don't think they're meant as a reminder of the injury, or as a sign that izzy is "damaged" post-kraken era. they're representative of the fact that izzy healed. the scar is there to remind you that izzy survived. you see it heal over multiple episodes because that's the work izzy is doing - he's healing from blackbeard's actions, from his own actions, from his history, from his constraints.

it's not too late to heal. it's not too late to find your place. it's not too late to come out. it's not too late to let people in. it's not too late.

and all those things are worth doing despite the fact that our time here is limited. we are all going to die. but we are here right now, which means it's not too late, and it is worth it to free ourselves to be who we need to be regardless of who we have been and who we are now and what time we might have left.

izzy isn't suicidal in ep 8. he's healed from that. izzy isn't abused or depressed or alone in ep 8. izzy is strong, and competent, and respected, and loved.

and some folks have been disappointed it's not romantic love. i get that. but i think it's super important too that izzy's healing is worth it without romantic love. familial, platonic love is so fundamentally important to the queer community. found family. friends. solidarity. the look when some stranger sees you and you see them and you both know the other is family, that they're safe. the way we fight for each other - for our rights to love who we want, fuck who we want, to marry, to adopt kids, and also for housing, for jobs, for healthcare. for our rights to use the bathroom, for our rights to choose our own names and our own bodies and our own families. we're fighting for our right to exist and that, guys, it's not romantic. the foundations of our community is about - well, i'll let izzy say it:

it's not about glory, it's not about getting what you want. it's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothing. it's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. it's about letting go of ego for something larger. the crew.

ed and izzy, following s2e3, interact and communicate on izzy's terms, and that's made clear. that's the last relationship for izzy to heal. when izzy finally approaches ed in ep 6, it's - not great. it's a start. you gotta start somewhere. he lets ed apologize, in their very closed, guilty way of speaking to each other, but then goes back to the crew, back to his safety.

he finally finishes his healing arc with the drag performance and la vie en rose, and then he and ed DO have good moments. he teases ed about stede. he directly reverses his previous actions in s1 and tells ed to listen to his good feelings. that's where djenks is getting this (imo, still a bit weird) father-figure business. the scene in the republic where ed's watching fishermen and izzy comes to say hey, it's all right, hey, listen to your gut. they don't need to directly come out and have some deep serious conversation about their relationship because that's just not like them, man. they're doing their healing their way. i think it would be nonsensical to expect these two to be open and honest with each other regardless of how they are with everyone else because their relationship is not like their relationships with anyone else.

until they run out of time.

and this, i think, is important. izzy controls this last conversation because it's what ed needs to hear, because izzy no longer needs to hear it. izzy doesn't need to hear that ed's sorry, izzy knows ed's fucking sorry. ed's whole arc this season is about the guilt he's carrying. izzy says what he says because he knows ed needs to hear it. ed, you weren't a monster all on your own. ed, i saw you. i saw you outgrowing him, and i didn't want that to happen because i was worried about what it meant for me, but i see now that it could have meant this all along - family. balance. something to die for, sure, but something to live for.

you could argue that ed and the crew don't think of each other as family. i think it's a bit more complicated than a yes or no on that one, but when izzy says, ed, you're surrounded by family, maybe it doesn't matter whether that's fact. maybe it's a statement of possibility. look at this family who can love you if you let them. look at this family who will forgive you even when you don't deserve it. look at all the ways you can still heal. look at how worth it it all is.

just be ed, izzy says, there he is.

he says it to ed because izzy already knows he can be just izzy. izzy already knows he's dying surrounded by family. izzy already knows that love and belonging and family are worth it, and he uses his dying moments to make sure ed knows it too because despite everything, despite everything he did and despite everything ed did and despite not being ed's romantic choice, he loves ed. it's worth it to use his dying moment to make sure ed knows this because izzy loves him.

it's worth it.

izzy is the stand-in for the stereotypical pirate, the villain - the representative of how repression and oppression work together, of how race and class and colonization interact with each other, of the lines between love and obsession and power and rage and fear blurring beyond recognition - and he heals. guys, the point of his story is not that he was all those things and paid that price. the point of his story is that he could grow beyond all those things and that growth and healing was all worth it despite the fact that yeah. our lives will inevitably end.

historically, israel hands is said to be one of the only major pirates who survives the golden age of piracy, and he doesn't survive it well - according to the contemporary account of "captain charles johnson" (almost certainly a pseudonym) in A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the most notorious Pyrates, published 1724, hands dies a beggar in london sometime between 1719 and 1724. it has been suggested by some pirate scholars that hands may have actually been the source for much of the information johnson is able to relay regarding blackbeard - and that johnson's apparent wealth of information contributed significantly to the legacy blackbeard left behind and his lasting fame. i had actually really hoped to see this play out in ofmd - izzy protecting ed and stede through perpetuating stories about blackbeard's 'death' (fake, i'd hoped) and legacy.

but i think - he is. in his way. he's there on the hillside, keeping watch. he's there to hold all the stories and all the memories of pirates and what it meant to belong to something, even as the golden age of piracy sets. he's there to show what it is to love and to be loved in return: eternal.

i don't like that izzy died. i think he's a great character, i think he's great fun to have in the ensemble, i think his dynamics with ed and stede are so fucking chewy and delicious. i think con o'neill has done the work of a lifetime on this character and, i hope, had and continue to has the experience of a lifetime with this fandom. my heart goes out to those of you who are devastated; i've been there in past fandoms, i know how achingly difficult that is. i'm so sorry.

but izzy's story is worth telling. izzy's story is worth celebrating. izzy is about making mistakes - bad mistakes! - and finding your way back to something better. izzy is about healing, and about community, and about hope that even when things are shit and people are shit - they can change. things can change.

and maybe - yeah. it's about the role stories play in our lives. about using fictional little scenarios to deal with our traumas. we're here. we're alive. we're coping. we will heal.

not moving on is worse.

[imakemywings]

for the character bingo: Maglor/Elros/Finduilas? (no pressure to do all of them!)

Maglor:

Maglor oh Maglor...you fetid dead shrimp of an Elf. I actually like Maglor a lot, I think he's a very interesting character. He's both an artist and a deadly warrior. He's the only Feanorian we see really push back against the Oath and the only one who ever suggests they just stop. He doesn't hang onto that, but there is an effort and there are other signs late in the First Age that he has regrets about the path he's taken and I think he's genuine about those. However, I am exhausted with how the fandom handwaves his crimes, acts like he's somehow less culpable than his family in their war crimes, lambasts his victims as authors of their own suffering, acts like his victims are obliged to forgive him because he feels bad, and act like his relationship with Elrond and Elros was some fluffy sweet found family story. Maglor's fucked-up-ness, as with all the Feanorians, is a huge part of what makes him interesting.

I think Maglor, for most of his life, was an incredibly selfish person. That exhibits in different ways. In Tirion, it was because he was an Artist and he did not have time for his stupid brothers and cousins' issues, he was Creating Art that was going to last a Thousand Years and he was above petty nonsense like caring about other people's problems. Maglor, like Feanor, feels a lot, and he is very willing to subordinate other people's needs to his feelings. Maglor's feelings >>> everything else. (The drama in Tirion was never-ending!)

When we see him start wavering after the Third Kinslaying, I think a few things were going on, but one of those things was I think Maglor was starting to panic. He was looking at what they had done and realizing that actually, he's a pretty shitty person when everything is tallied up. Nobody is going to remember him for his art--they're going to remember him for the ruthless slaughter in pursuit of his father's property and the total extinguishing of an entire culture out of Middle-earth. This is where we see him start to push back against Maedhros and the Oath--he isn't upset about the one Silmaril lost to Earendil, he argues against pursuing the two held by the host of Aman, he suggests they go and repent to the Valar and accept whatever punishment might be due them.

"Fostering" Elrond and Elros was, to me, a desperate Hail Mary effort at self-redemption by Maglor. It was also, again, a deeply selfish act. He took two traumatized children whose family and people he butchered, whose home he had destroyed, and whose culture he had erased, and tried to make them the vessel of his salvation. Which is not to say he didn't genuinely love them! I think he did and I think they were perhaps the only source of joy for him at that time in his life. And I think he realized somewhere on the front end that this was fucked up, but by then he was attached to them, and it took him years to reach the point of being selfless enough to let go of them and let them leave.

Maglor's journey to regret is complete, to me, when he rejects the Silmaril. At this point, he openly acknowledges to himself and others that what they did was wrong, it was in vain, and he regrets. If he could do it over, he would do things differently. But it's too late now--and there's no one left to hear him say it.

The interesting thing about "Maglor lives" AUs to me is that it gives him the chance he lacked in canon to make good on his claims of regret and actually do better. Because I think he is capable of it, it's just that he never quite gets there in canon, not before it's too late.

Finduilas:

Most of what I have to say about Finduilas is based on headcanon, because alas, we don't get a ton out of her in canon.

Finduilas is someone I see as aggressively optimistic. Not the kind of dewy-eyed optimism where she thinks things will just ~work out~ but more of a determination to do everything she can to make things work out and a commitment to avoiding self-defeating pessimism. She will not despair until there is absolutely no avenue left to her; I think she does a great job of maintaining estel. This is why she held out hope that Gwindor would come back from Angband.

But I think the Gwindor who returned from Angband was naturally a very different person than the one who had ridden out from Nargothrond. He would have necessarily come back extremely traumatized after twelve years as a slave of Melkor and while I think Finduilas was committed to helping him recover, I think his newly cynical and harsh outlook on life cooled the ardor of their earlier relationship.

I also think she was drawn to Turin because he has a similar kind of hopeful outlook. In a perverse sense, despite his pessimism about himself, Turin keeps trying to make things better and keeps believing he can make things better even when everything goes wrong for him again and again. I think Finduilas was drawn to this attitude and that's a big part of what made her fall in love with him.

I also like to think Finduilas was a healer! She was interested in medicine and made a personal study of it for many years and even delivered babies in Nargothrond.

I don't think she and Gil-galad were especially close but I do think she looked up to him a lot and would have been proud to see him take the crown of the high king of the Noldor.

Sorry Elros, I don't really have enough thoughts about you to share ╯︿╰ I do like the headcanon though that part of the reason he chose to be a Man was because of his disgust with how the Elves had behaved in the First Age and that he never fully forgave the Feanorians for their actions. I also see him as a rather adventurous person--he has to be, to willingly take the path with the unknown end!

[nuttyrabbit]

I genuinely liked all the obscure Sonic Facts that Greeny would post about! It sucks, but I found them really interesting!

However, the constant Ian Flynn bashing was really annoying. I understand not liking his writing style, it’s not perfect and can be criticized. But I swear to fuck, he would complain about the tiniest things!

Then he would talk about Flynn stans and how they sucked his dick constantly. I’m sorry to say this, but Greeny was hate-sucking Ian’s dick constantly!!!!

I don’t usually follow drama in the Sonic Fandom, since I’m too old to be getting angry over stupid things. I just stay in my lane, occasionally read fanfics for my ships, reblog theorizing/positive posts and cute fanart. Like, I think fandoms should be fun, so I try to have fun.

I followed Greeny since, as I said, I like the trivia they posted about and wanted to learn more.

At some point though, I think I became embarrassed to like IDW Sonic because of how much Greeny and their group would criticize Flynn and Evan. I took a break from the comics because the zombot arc had exhausted me, but I think reading the constant criticism made me not want to pick it back up. I still haven’t picked IDW Sonic back up.

I also feel like it’s gotten worse over the years. Like, I don’t remember seeing this type of stuff, or at least not as much complaining, back when I first started following Greeny.

Eventually, I stopped having fun and enjoy my time with Greeny’s posts. I felt like it made me more ashamed of what I enjoyed, and that’s not how I want to spend my time. It wasn’t even thoughtfully negative, it was just mean-spirited.

I recently stopped following Greeny, I think before Frontiers came out. He had made a post bashing the Flynn’s dialogue in one of the leaked cutscenes at the time (when Sonic first encounters the voice). Then he made another post translating the Japanese of that scene… and it was literally the exact same fucking sentence!!!!

I realized then that I was done with Greeny, that he was going to criticize the English dialogue for the entire fucking game. And I didn’t want to deal with it.

I wanted to try and enjoy Sonic Frontiers with being ashamed!

Sorry for the super long rant. Didn’t expect this ask to be a novel. I know you weren’t really talking about Greeny, but I’ve been holding this in and I just needed to air out my grievances.

You don’t have to answer or even post this ask, I just needed to get this off my chest. Again, sorry.

Honestly anon, I'm glad you posted this because my experience was very similar. For a long time I followed Greeny because they had good insights and made good posts, and even thought they acted cunty sometimes and had opinions that I thought were outright ignorant, I generally let it slide because things were relatively civil

But then yeah, the Zombot Arc brought out the worst in her and a lot of people, including me. God going back to my posts from that time is exhausting because I was furiously debating every one of these people and we were all being brick walls about it, and I could feel the discourse get naster and nastier.

It was around that time I remember her and the other people in her group just getting meaner in general and becoming very hateful towards Ian specifiaclly. Like they didn't like him a ton before but it became downright vitriolic and it felt like even discussing the guy in anything other than a negative light was a reason for them to jump down your throat

Even after the Zombot arc ended, shit remained so toxic that it was one of the reasons (well that and just my focus shifting from Tumblr in general) I just kinda left this site and didn't really look back, because it was getting to the point where I was dreading every issue coming out for the inevitable fucking discourse.

From the looks of it, it seemed like it only got worse with time, especially with the release of Frontiers.

Here's my ultimate fucking take. Greeny is entitled to her opinions, however crudely worded or wrong or bad faith they may be. But people are also entitled to call her out on her opinions and attitudes or just flat out ignore them, much as they are with anyone else's opinions, including mine.

The only reason I got involved in all of this shit was because I vented an opinion on Twitter and it got out of hand. Most of the time, I'm like you and just content to vibe in the fandom and talk about whatever, and I'd like to go back to that. I'd much rather be talking about my fucking OCs and my verse than dumb fandom drama bullshit

But like I said, I'm glad you sent this both to get it off your chest and to give me the chance to do the same. At this point I've just had so many bad experiences in this fandom (some of them of my own doing I will freely admit) that it's hard to care anymore. But I don't think anyone should be afriad to speak up about anyone in this fandom, even someone like Greeny or Crusher or a popular artist or whomstever the fuck

[skepticalarrie]

What do you think is the point of going for big big. I mean other than $$. I'm not begrudging him success. I'm not gatekeeping him from new fans. He can be as big as The Beatles as far I'm concerned. He's an incredible talent and deserves the whole world! But won't all this opening up to a more mainstream audience make it harder for him to come out? I mean look how many hateful solo harries he's gained with his wms het image. Just looking at this through the gay lens, I don't see anything changing for him. How could it? If after all these years of waving the pride flag around, with fans that have been around for years, he still hasn't come out, how could he now? I should stop hoping...I will say I'll never blame him for any decisions he makes. It's his life and as long a he's happy that's an that matters. Some of the hate I've read today is disappointing to say the least. Anyway

The point of going big, anon, is that maybe not everything is about his closeting. He has his own goals and things he wants to achieve with his career. He is not his closet, and I feel like I can't talk enough about this because some fans keep forgetting that the discussions about his sexuality and his closeting it's only part of who he is as an artist. A part where we should be vocal about it, we can't ignore and pretend we don't see it, but that's not all he is. Coming out is clearly not all he wants. If the only thing he wanted to achieve was coming out, he could have done that years ago and simply given up on his career.... after all, he doesn't need the $$, does he?!

Harry has a massive fanbase who is passionate about him, he touches so many people daily with his music and with his art, he loves making music. And now he's also exploring other parts of being an artist like acting, and that is so cool! It's only natural and fair he wants to keep doing it, touching more people and expanding who he is as an artist. I understand that going big and going for this multifaceted artist is not for everyone, but that is what Harry always was, he was always huge and he always had this massive rock star energy. So it's no surprise if his label and management are pushing him to go for it, and he freaking should go for it.

Plus, I think this fandom has some preconceived ideas, where once he's bigger he won't be able to come out. And I understand the concern and I partially agree.... but it's so tricky, we know nothing. Maybe he's tied to contracts and he can't come out anyway for the next 30 years or whatever. Or maybe he needs bargaining power, maybe he has a plan going on behind the scenes, maybe he will come out next month. Like, what the fuck do we know. So I honestly think people need to stop blowing things out of proportion, people need to stop trying to guess and predict things so much. We don't have the bigger picture guys, we can only guess to a certain degree. People have "hope" for something to happen but it was never established it will happen in the first place. He's gonna do whatever he wants to do, he's an adult and we have no idea about his plans and goals. If fans don't like the kind of artist Harry is becoming, they can just leave. No one is being held hostage here.

I'm sorry, anon. I didn't mean to unload on you specifically but this kind of drama is EXHAUSTING.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

um

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit

[fandom-necromancer]

1740. This isn’t what it looks like, I swear! Okay … it’s kind of what it looks like, but just give me a chance to explain.

This was prompted by the wonderful @definietlynotsatan! I hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: mentioned smut in the third and fourth paragraph, discussion of what could be considered cheating)

When Gavin was driving home that day, he wanted nothing more but have a hot shower and fall into bed. He hated the days he was alone at work and all the work for two was his to finish. His and Nines’ workdays were near synchronised by now but every now and then it did happen that one of them was free for the day while the other had to go to work. Sometimes Gavin wondered how he had managed to do this for years. Maybe there really was a reason they weren’t supposed to work alone. Maybe it had been the main reason he had been a total asshole to everyone around him. Maybe he had overworked himself all these years to the point he hadn’t even realised it himself. Or maybe it was just his personality.

‘I’m back home’, he murmured after unlocking the front door, hanging up his leather jacket on autopilot and bowing down to untie his shoes. His fingers had just gotten a hold of the laces when he froze. Nines hadn’t answered. For a moment he thought of all the possibilities why he wasn’t. Maybe he just wasn’t home? But the faint sounds that came to him from upstairs made him mentally recoil. It sounded every bit like- no, that couldn’t be. Gavin let the key in his hand drop to the floor and stomped towards the stairs, taking two steps at once. It couldn’t be, that had to be some kind of prank, Nines could recreate any sound after all and-

But as he ripped the door of their guestroom open, Gavin’s worst nightmare seemed to come true. A very familiar back was angled towards him, showing off Nines’ very defined pseudo-muscles and perfectly imperfect skin. In any other situation Gavin would have welcomed that sight. But not when foreign hands trailed it up and down while the android’s hips rocked in a motion that couldn’t be misunderstood. Neither of the two people on the bed had realised his presence, moaning with static voices he had thought only he was allowed to hear. Gavin stood there in shock, watching Nines having sex with another person, unsure what to do or how to even react. He felt so many different emotions and none of them were good, but he couldn’t find one of them to act upon.

‘Nines, what the phck’, he whispered then, his voice not cooperating with him at all. Immediately all movement stopped, and Nines’ head jerked up. He looked behind himself in about the same moment the person underneath him turned to the side a bit to see who had come into the room. Gavin connected eyes with them. An android like Nines, but not a model he recognised. His face was cold with hate as he uttered a single word to them: ‘Out.’ He tried to keep his anger at bay for everyone’s sake, but on the inside, he was ready to explode. At least they had the courtesy to nod and hurried out form underneath Nines, gathering their clothes and running past him. All the while Nines had fetched the blanket to cover himself, before turning to Gavin. ‘Gavin! I- I’m so sorry. This isn’t what it looks like, I swear! Okay … it’s kind of what it looks like, but just give me a chance to explain. Please!’

Gavin took a deep breath his chest trembling with anger. He was ready to hit this damn android, to press him into the mattress and punch him until no one could recognise his face anymore. But he held back. He didn’t know where he got the strength from. Maybe all their time together, all the trust Gavin had been able to put into Nines allowed him to not kill him on the spot. He had to look away though. He couldn’t look him in the eye. ‘Fine’, he pressed out between clenched teeth. ‘Here is your damn chance, explain how it kind of was exactly what it looked like.’

‘Gavin, I’m sorry, I-‘ ‘No! No apologies!’, Gavin screamed, not being able to keep the tears at bay. He was furious. He would need a new word for just how angry he was at what he thought to be his partner. ‘I want an explanation! I want reasons, I want-’ He had to lean against the wall, his knees suddenly weak from the added stress on his already tired body. ‘Phck. I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me, Nines!’ Gavin was about to collapse, and Nines was there to catch him, but Gavin struggled against his hold. ‘Don’t you phcking touch me!’, he shouted into his face. ‘Don’t you dare pcking touch me you cheating asshole! Do I really matter that little to you? This dumb human isn’t enough for you, am I right? Why bother when you can have others while he is away, right? I hate you, Nines! I phcking hate you.’ The android visibly swallowed, but guided Gavin gently down to the floor to lean against the wall. Then he let go as ordered. Gavin immediately pulled his knees to his chin and looked to the ground, tears running freely. He was far to exhausted to care or deal with the situation. He just wanted to hear an explanation from Nines and be done with it. He would just gather his things and go. Wouldn’t be the first time.

‘Gavin, I love you.’ The man pressed his lips tightly together. What a pile of bullshit. ‘I love you and you are more than I ever wanted. You matter more to me than anything else in the world.’ ‘So that’s why you phck other people when I’m away. I’m sorry, but that’s very hard to believe, asshole!’ ‘No, Gavin, that’s not why I fuck other people. Please, listen to me and let me explain.’ Gavin kept silent, but stared up at Nines out of eyes that could kill. ‘Gav, I… Humans have many years’ time for exploration’, he began. ‘You can spend years changing partner because you learned or made experiences. I happen to be awake for a year and already finding just the right person. I want you. I love you. And I want to spend my whole life with you. I just… I didn’t want to be unprepared. I want to give you what you deserve.’ He tried to catch Gavin’s eyes again, but the man stubbornly refused to look anywhere than on the carpet. ‘I… I also have to discover what my boundaries are. What I’m comfortable with and what I don’t like. I don’t want to have any bad experiences with you. Not when I know how much you care for me and definitely nowhere where feelings are involved. I didn’t want to hurt you by ruining a night and leaving you to your thoughts. I didn’t want to hurt you, but now I realise I did exactly that.’

Gavin mulled over what he had just heard. Was this a lie? Would Nines lie to him this openly? Normally he would have dismissed the thought immediately, but now? He wanted him to speak the truth. He wanted to believe Nines’ story and continue like nothing happened, because according to the bot, nothing had. But was he ready to trust him after what he had just seen?

‘Then why the phck didn’t you tell me?’, Gavin spat. ‘I didn’t think you would like to know’, Nines muttered. ‘If you hadn’t known of it I could have just told you I had past experiences and that would be it. I don’t know of your exes and I don’t want to, so I thought you would handle it similarly. Also, I feared to get a reaction like that.’ ‘Nines, I haven’t even reacted yet’, Gavin sighed, still torn in between allowing his feelings to take over or give in to his hope Nines had been honest to him. ‘I don’t know if I believe you. I want to but I can’t.’ ‘Gavin, I-‘ The android reached for his hand, but stopped just before he could hold it. ‘I love you. If I didn’t love you anymore, I would have told you. I owe you so much; you were always there for me. It would be the least thing I could do for you to tell you if I didn’t love you anymore. I wouldn’t deceive you like this. And I can only hope you believe me and that I haven’t lost your trust completely.’

Gavin sighed and rubbed his eyes. Maybe it was his exhaustion, but he was willing to give the bot a second chance. To for once bet his money on the more optimistic choice. So, he spoke up: ‘I… I understand you, as weird as that sounds. I just… Talk to me about these things.’ He pulled up his sleeve to wipe away his tears. ‘I would like to know what you are up to, so something like this doesn’t happen. So I don’t walk in on you. Spare us both the embarrassment.’ Nines nodded, eager to take the olive branch Gavin held out for him. ‘Yes, Gavin. I will tell you in the future. And I’m sorry, I… should have told you from the beginning.’

Gavin swallowed as another thought came up. Nines wouldn’t stop. Not until he had made the experiences he wanted. He couldn’t really bear the thought, even if he tried to see it as logically as the machine did. ‘It’s just sex, though, right?’ ‘What do you mean?’, Nines asked. ‘Just sex. No… feelings, no… Nines if you want someone else, if an android is better suited for you or-‘ Nines interrupted him immediately. ‘Gavin! Gavin, no! No feelings at all. Just sex. You are the love of my life, the only love in my life. You are the one person I would do everything for and I can’t live without. You are my partner in life. I would never want anyone else. It’s just sex. I just want experience before we make our own. I want to know my boundaries. And that’s all. The people I chose are not just androids but humans too. And we don’t even know each other’s name. We meet once and that’s it. I love you Gavin and loosing you is my biggest fear. I just want to be perfect for you and determined for myself.’

Gavin sighed and held up his hand so the android could help him up. ‘Then I won’t start any drama, tin-can’, he said as all the stressors of the day settled on his shoulders and left him with an agonizing tiredness. ‘Just know that we can always talk about it and you can always tell me everything.’ Nines nodded, holding onto his arm as if the human could break down any moment again. ‘And Nines? You are already perfect to me. Just promise me the moment I am not what you want, you will tell me that too. I love you, but I won’t let myself be lied to.’ ‘I will’, Nines promised, helping Gavin towards the bathroom. ‘But rest assured that will never, ever happen.’

[justanoutlawfic]

how about a fic where snow is in jail and regina is her wife and she ask for a marital visit? i feel like prison sex is what this fandom needs and you said it yourself in a fic, snow is the ultimate dom ;)

This took me a bit and it’s probably a tad angstier than you expected. I went back and forth on how to handle this, and this is what my mind came up with.

On AO3/FF

The first time Regina had sex with Mary Margaret, both were partially buzzed on Southern Comfort. Their clothes discarded on the floor of Regina’s apartment, leading a trail to her room. Her roommate was out of town. They were able to blast Journey as they fucked each other into the night. There was some awkward fumbling and testing boundaries, but for their first time together, it had been pretty great.

 Now if Regina wants to have sex with her wife for the first time in months, she needs to be violated. She’s heard of searches in prisons, but nothing prepared her for just how invasive it was.

 “Cough,” the burly female guard barked after she dropped her lace thong. This comes after being patted down in every area known to man. Regina manages to get one out. “You can do better than that.”

 Regina resists an eye roll, coughing harder. It’s up to the guard’s satisfaction and she quickly pulls the thong, followed by her skirt back up. The guard barreling over six feet leads her down a few winding hallways. It’s so quick, Regina couldn’t find her way out if she really wanted to. The guard stops in front of the door, fishing out her keys to open it. On the other side is a nicer room than she expected. Mal had prepared her for potentially the worst, saying it varied depending on the prison. There’s a queen-sized mattress covered in a simple white sheet in the center of the room. A torn couch sits on one side, a bookshelf with a few worn textbooks on the other. A single fan is plugged into the wall, currently off. A table near the couch has a vase filled with lilies. The harsh lighting washes out the stark walls with no decoration

 In the corner of the room is where she stands. Bags crowd Mary Margaret’s wide green eyes. The light makeup she once worn is nowhere to be seen. Having moved on from the orange jumpsuit to tan scrubs over a white long-sleeved t-shirt. Perhaps the most shocking is the hair. Regina’s wife once had such beautiful dark curls that hung around her shoulders. In the six months since the trial, she’s cut it down to a pixie cut.

 Mary Margaret’s lips tugged up into a smile. “Hi, baby.”

“Snow,” Regina breathes, the nickname for her wife has never tasted so good.

 She runs right into her arms, squeezing her for dear life. Mary Margaret presses a kiss to her forehead, stroking her hair.

“You have six hours,” the guard says with as much enthusiasm as dried paint. “The door locks behind me. There’s a bathroom through there.” Regina assumes she’s pointing somewhere, but she keeps her face buried in Mary Margaret’s shoulder, inhaling the cheapo soap and cigarettes. “We’ll call that phone every hour. If you don’t answer, we’ll assume you somehow escaped and come looking.”

“I got it,” Mary Margaret says, her head going against Regina’s.

“You’ll both be searched again when it’s time to go.”

“I got it.” Regina hears her wife sigh. “Ma’am.”

“That’s better, inmate.”

 The door squeaks open and then slams shut. Keys rattle to show that they are secure and alone. Regina finally pulls away from her wife. Mary Margaret strokes her cheek, taking her in completely.

 “You look exhausted, my love,” she murmurs.

Regina shakes her head. “I’m fine. Look at you.” She frowns, realizing how much weight her wife has lost. “Your beautiful hair.” She reaches up to touch the short ‘do. “I mean, it’s still gorgeous, but…”

“It was just too hard to keep up with, especially with 30 second showers,” Mary Margaret shrugs. “There’s a woman in here who does it. Looked better than I expected.” She runs her fingers over Regina’s silk blouse. “I can’t believe I actually miss the feel of silk.”

Regina nods. “Are you eating, though? Sleeping?”

“I’m fine, Regina.”

“You don’t look it. I could talk to Mal, maybe…”

“Regina,” Mary Margaret says firmly. “It’s prison, not the Ritz. I’m not supposed to look great. I’m keeping myself out of drama, stick to my group.” She sighs when Regina’s face remains unchanged. “And this is why I put off this visit. I didn’t want you seeing me this way.”

“And I don’t want to not see you,” Regina takes her hands. “I can handle it, I promise.”

 She tries to force a smile on her face to prove it. Mary Margaret partially matches it, leading her over to the couch. They settle down, keeping a grip on one another.

“How’s Henry?” Mary Margaret asks.

“He’s doing well.” Regina feels herself genuinely smiling as she thinks of the child they share. “Getting better at Math and he entered a short story into a contest at school.”

“What’s it about?”

“Well, they had to write a twist on a fairytale. He wrote about Snow White falling for the Evil Queen.”

Mary Margaret laughs, shaking her head. “He’s always championed for more representation.”

“He’s doing well,” Regina finds herself repeating, for both of their benefits. “He…he misses you, though. Really wanted to come today.”

Mary Margaret immediately shakes her head. “I don’t want him to see me in here.”

“Mary Margaret…”

“We have the appeal coming up and Mal thinks I have a shot of being out of here soon.”

“In the next year,” Regina points out. “He’s going to grow so much in that time.”

“And that’ll happen whether we do these family visits or a piece of glass between us.” Mary Margaret shakes her head again. “No, I’ve ruined his childhood enough. I’m not about to do more damage.”

“Hey,” Regina touches her cheek, forcing her to look her in the eye. “You didn’t ruin his childhood. He still gets to have one.”

“You’re telling me he doesn’t worry about this stuff? That kids aren’t making fun of him?” Regina grows quiet and Mary Margaret clears her throat. “Tell me the bad part.”

“Do you want to focus on that? I see a bed over there…” Regina trails off, fiddling with her top

“We have six hours, Regina,” she says, her voice scarily quiet.

 Mary Margaret isn’t one to get loud. When she’s mad, her voice gets lower and lower. If it gets so bad that soon she’ll just stop talking and fix the person with one of her looks. It’s always how Henry knows he’s in deep shit with his mama.

 “Now tell me, the bad part. All of it.”

Regina sighs, pulling away from her. “He knows more than we wanted him to.” Mary Margaret’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. “I tried to protect him. We all did. But it’s all over the papers, kids at school are reading it.”

“They’re only 10!”

“You were a teacher, Mare, you know how easy it is for kids to get their hands on this stuff. Especially since it went online.”

“What are they saying?” Regina hesitates. “Regina.”

She sighs once more. “Just asking him what it’s like to have a murderer for a mother. They ask if he can bring the bat to show and tell.”

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “Kids can be fucking assholes.”

Regina nods in agreement. “I’ve got him appointments with Dr. Hopper and I can tell it’s helping, but I also think he’s trying to act tough. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to be the man of the house but he’s always trying to do all the chores. His teacher called me in because he’s missing so many assignments. When I talked to him about it, he said it’s because he needs to take care of me.”

 Tears pool Regina’s eyes just as they did that night. She and Henry had hugged each other as they cried. Her baby boy sobbed about how badly he wanted things to go back to normal, he actually uttered the words “I want my mommy”. For the past six months, he’s kept a brave face, acting wise behind his years. This is just a reminder of what he is: a little boy that needs both of his mothers.

 Mary Margaret scrubs furiously at her face, trying to hide the evidence of her own tears. “I’ll talk to him about it,” she whispers. “I’ll call, tell him that he doesn’t need to do so.”

“I already did, I know Dr. Hopper is as well. I’m sure a phone call from you wouldn’t hurt, though,” Regina quickly adds on. “He just misses you.” She twiddles her thumbs together. “We both do.”

“I miss you both too.” She gnaws on her lips. “And how are we doing financially?”

Regina waves her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Regina, come on. You said when I agreed for you to come here that you’d be honest. So, be honest.”

“Well…we’re hanging in there.” Regina rubs the back of her neck. “Between legal fees, me taking off so much time from work and us going down to one income as it is…we’ve burned through our savings. I had to get a loan from my mother.”

 Mary Margaret groans, tipping her head back. Regina hangs her head, picking at a loose thread on her skirt. The two were never fabulously well off, but they made enough to live comfortably. Mary Margaret worked for a respected private school, which meant Henry got to go for free. Regina has been at the same ad agency for years. Lately, they’ve been hesitant to put her on accounts given her associations. Everyone thinks Manhattan is huge, but the truth is, it’s a tiny island. People hear Blanchard-Mills and instantly ask “That Blanchard? The one who killed her father?” It hasn’t made paying the rent easier.

 “I know,” Regina mumbles. “But we had to pay the rent and other bills. And that’s only going to get us so far.” She shakes her head. “I’ve decided to take up Kathryn on her offer. I’ll give up the apartment, then Henry and I will move in with her in Connecticut.��

“Regina, no.” Mary Margaret’s eyes are wide once more. “Too much has changed for him! We can’t uproot him again.”

“We don’t have much of a choice, Mary Margaret!” Regina snaps, causing her wife to back up a bit on the couch. She honestly doesn’t care. Mary Margaret is doing an incredible thing, but she can’t see how bad things are. It’s partially on Regina, she’s tried to protect her from it. “If we stay in Manhattan, it’s going to bankrupt us. I can commute and still visit you. But Kathryn isn’t charging me any rent or expecting us to pay bills. I’ve looked into the local schools there, they’re adequate.”

“Mal says…”

“Yes, you’ll be out in a year, maybe. Big maybe. I need a backup plan if you don’t. And I’m sorry, even if you do, life has still changed. You’re at risk of losing your teaching license and Hyperion Day certainly isn’t going to take you back. Stamford isn’t exactly cheap to live in, but it’ll be better than New York. When you get out, we can look into affordable housing.”

Mary Margaret clears throat, a hurt look etched on her face. “Looks like you’ve figured this all out on your own.”

“Well, you’re in here so I kind of have to.”

 Regina gets up from the couch, walking over to stare at the blank wall. Any guilt she had before she walked in has washed over with resentment. The soft sound of tennis shoes pad against the linoleum.

 “We’ve been over this, Regina,” Mary Margaret whispers. “It had to be me.”

“And why?” Regina whips back around. “You’re innocent! I…”

Mary Margaret smacks her hand over Regina’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up,” she hisses. “This place is probably wired.”

 Regina glares at her behind the hand. Ever since it happened, Mary Margaret has called the shots. She said they couldn’t call the police. She destroyed the bat. She decided to take the fall and let everyone suspect her instead of Regina.

 It’s still all pretty much a blur. Mary Margaret’s father showing up to the house, demanding to see her. Regina had never met him before but she knew the stories well. After all he had done to Mary Margaret, she knew she had to protect her. At first, she just kept telling him to leave, but he wormed his way into the house. Regina went to call the cops and then he attacked her. One minute, she was fighting for her life. The next, Leopold’s lifeless body bleeding out onto their rug. Regina’s Louisville slugger gripped tightly beneath her fingers. Mary Margaret came home not long after. She didn’t even blink, she just went into crisis mode.

 Henry was at the neighbor’s playing and Mary Margaret called to request a sleepover. They waited until nightfall, wrapping Leopold into a tarp and dragging him down to their garage. They drove hours to the countryside where they found the woods he had once taught his only daughter to hunt. Leopold was buried carefully, not for his dignity but their protection. Regina would have nightmares of the blood, the fire that destroyed most of the evidence. Mary Margaret drove his car to a poorer part of the city where it was bound to be stolen. All DNA scrubbed from their home. It was like it never happened.

 But when Leopold didn’t show up to work the following Monday, a search went out. It took three months for them to uncover the body.

 And who else would the first suspect be except his only yet estranged daughter, Mary Margaret Blanchard-Mills.

 Mary Margaret never admitted to it, she maintained her innocence. A detective friend of Leopold had something to prove and stretched enough evidence to pin it on her. Mal said Mary Margaret was definitely not given a fair trial and would argue bias to get it all overturned. She has faith and Regina wants to have it as well. Just as much as she wanted to just come clean to avoid all of it.

 “It was self-defense,” she told Mary Margaret. “He was threatening you, attacked me. I protected the both of us.”

“You’re a Latinx woman with a record,” her wife pointed out.

“One assault charge, which was also in self-defense.”

“They won’t care. Mal’s right. It has to be me. Besides, either way, I go down. I was there, I helped you cover it up. Henry can’t lose both of us.”

 There’s not a day that goes day that Regina doesn’t regret it or debate heading into NYPD headquarters to turn herself in. And then she remembers the sacrifice her wife made. All they’ve done. According to Mal, the fight will be over soon.

“Then you can go back to normal.”

 Regina knows nothing will ever be normal again. Her wife is locked up. Regina killed a man. She still has nightmares every time she closes her eyes. Their son is forever traumatized. Mary Margaret has been through hell in prison.

 Normal is long gone.

 Regina bites Mary Margaret’s hand, causing her to quickly move it away and shake it out. “I don’t want to fight,” she whispers. “Even if we have six hours.”

Mary Margaret nods. “I don’t either.”

 There’s so much left to say. The fears about the appeal, their son, the future of their mental states and even marriage.

 Regina isn’t going to let that ruin the now.

 “Undress me,” Regina practically demands.

Mary Margaret cocks her eyebrow. “Excuse me?” A chill runs down Regina’s spine.

“P…please,” she whimpers. “Please undress me.”

“What do you want me to take off first.” Regina’s trembling fingers fall to her blouse. “Use your words, baby girl.”

“My…my shirt.”

 Mary Margaret nods. She takes great care in each button, purposefully going slow. Eventually, it falls to the floor. She snakes her hand behind Regina’s back and unhooks the bra, allowing it to go with the blouse. Mary Margaret cups her breasts, running her fingers around the areolas. Regina bites down on her lip, letting out a soft squeal when Mary Margaret pinches her nipple.

 “So sensitive,” Mary Margaret coos. She runs her hands against the soft skin surrounding the nipples, feeding Regina’s touch starvation. “Taking care of everyone else, but who is taking care of my princess?”

 Princess. People often joke that Regina is a ruthless evil queen in meetings. In the bedroom, she isn’t a tough business woman or strict mother. She’s Mary Margaret’s princess.

 “No one,” Regina moans. “I need you.”

“And I’m right here.”

 Mary Margaret lays a kiss to her lips, their first since before the final verdict. Regina savors every moment of it, even if Mary Margaret’s lips are chapped beyond belief. Her wife’s lips travel, moving to her neck. What starts with soft, gentle kisses quickly turns to sucking, marking her territory. Looks like Regina will have to wear scarves for the coming weeks. Maybe it’s high schoolish of her, but Regina will never be against hickeys. She tingles from the sucking alone, her hand grabbing the front of her skirt. With her eyes shut, Mary Margaret smacks her hand away. She ever so slightly pulls her lips away, causing Regina to whine.

 “Did I give you permission to touch yourself?” Mary Margaret asks.

Regina shakes her head, only to get a smack to her bottom prompting a verbal answer. “No.”

“That’s what I thought. Keep your hands on me.”

 Regina obliges, wrapping her arms around Mary Margaret’s waist.  Her wife’s lips travel, leaving marks around her shoulder blades, chest and breasts. Regina fights to touch herself, digging her nails into the scrubs. Mary Margaret unzips her skirt and Regina steps out of it, kicking it across the room. Her thong is slid down for the second time that afternoon, Mary Margaret helping her out of it. She holds the black garment to her face, taking a deep inhale. Regina stands stark naked in the cold room, her nipples perking up from the temperature.

 “On the bed,” Mary Margaret demands.

 Regina nods and lays against the lumpy mattress. Mary Margaret pulls off her two shirts, followed by her pants. Underneath are the ugliest bra and panties combo. Mary Margaret warned her it was bad, but Regina certainly wasn’t expecting this. She smirks.

 “Nice lingerie, Grandma.”

Mary Margaret’s eyes playfully narrow. “Somebody’s cruising for a bruising.”

“Go right ahead,” Regina tempts her. “You know you want to.”

 Mary Margaret shakes her head, a faux disappointed look on her face. She strips off the bra and underwear. Her wife has always kept things all natural, but the bush has grown more with time. For the briefest of moments, Regina wonders if it’s possible for her shaven pussy to get rugburn. Mary Margaret climbs onto the bed. She rubs Regina’s calves, leading up to her thigh. Regina’s gently rolled over onto her side so Mary Margaret can marvel at the words tattooed above her ass. She shivers as her wife traces the five-word mantra. A callback to a random drunk night in college.

 “Pour some sugar on me,” Mary Margaret purrs.

“I wish you’d let me get it removed.”

“If you really wanted to, you know I’d let you do whatever. But can you really part with it?”

Regina doesn’t even have to think. “No.”

“Good.” Mary Margaret rolls her back over and slowly climbs on top of her. “Now, let me take care of you.”

Regina can only really get a good look at Mary Margaret’s chest. “I want to take care of you.”

Mary Margaret bends down, her breasts practically spilling on top of Regina. She presses a finger to her lips. “We have six hours.”

“More like five and a half now.”

“Hush.”

 Mary Margaret moves backward, her legs wrapping around Regina’s. She reaches into the bedside table, removing a bottle of lube. Regina tilts her head. Mary Margaret shrugs.”

“I heard they provided this and was shocked too.”

 She squirts a decent amount onto her finger, carefully applying it to both areas. Regina bites down on her lip. It’s definitely not the quality stuff sitting in their own side table, but it’ll do the job for now. Mary Margaret slides down, sticking one finger up at first, making the room for the second. She flexes them in and out, a loud moan escaping Regina.

 “God, I’ve forgotten how good you feel,” Mary Margaret groans.

“S…same.”

“It’s such a shame,” Mary Margaret’s fingers fuck her harder. “We don’t have our toys here.”

 Regina thinks of the pink box hidden carefully at the bottom of their closet and grins.

 “Have you been using some of those without me?” Mary Margaret asks, pausing her fingers. Regina nods, blushing a bit. “Like?”

Regina smirks cheekily. “Your favorite magic wand.”

“Oh, you naughty girl.” Mary Margaret returns to her fingering. “Tell you what, when all of this is done, Mommy will show you how good it feels when she uses it on you.”

Regina nods. “Yes, please, please.”

“Remember when I first bought it? How excited you were to watch me use it?” Regina grins at the memory. “Watching as it got me all wet and horny, saving the best for you. I want you think about that right now, baby.”

“I am.” She shuts her eyes. “I promise.”

 The fingers aren’t the same as the wand or the myriad of other toys they have in that box. It doesn’t replace their thousand count sheets or their favorite aftercare lotion. None of it makes forget Regina that she’s fucking her wife in a prison.

 But it sure as hell brings a relief from the stress she’s been under since all of this began. A momentary distraction before she’s forced to face reality.

  “Get me wet, baby,” Mary Margaret moans.

 It takes a few more thrusts, but Regina finds it in herself. Mary Margaret falls on top of her, her lips lightly brushing against Regina’s.

 “Again,” Regina mumbles, her eyes growing heavy.

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “We have time. Take a little nap.”

“I don’t want to miss out on anything with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Regina gives into sleep, clinging tightly to her wife. She only awakes a half hour later when the phone rings out and Mary Margaret’s annoyed voice fills the room.

“Yeah. I’m still here.”

[anasticklefics]

Tickle Cheating

Fandom: Star Trek

Characters: Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy

Summary: Jim tickles Bones. It’s what he DOES. So how does one react when you see someone else tickle your usual victim? Like a mess if you’re Jim Kirk apparently!

A/N: I blame @fickle-tiction (are you HAPPY?). Also I don’t know how hospitals work don’t yell at me. Might rewrite this idea with lee!Jim because he has my heart.

Also does this whole fic and my author’s note have a general chaotic air about it or am I going crazy haha?

Words: 3 124

The first time Jim noticed it was when he dropped by the hospital to deliver Bones’ lunch that he’d left at the kitchen counter of their shared dorm room. Entering a space that was oddly both chaotic and completely still at the same time, the general air so suffocating that it was no wonder Bones was exhausted each time he returned from a shift. Jim grinned at the receptionist, unsure of where the med students where and if he was even allowed past a certain point and if so, “would you or someone give this to Leonard McCoy?”

But the woman, hair framing her heart shaped, incredibly kind face, met his grin with a smile and told him he could go right in.

“If someone stops you or you can’t find him, simply ask if someone can leave the box in the kitchen.”

Her words sounded scripted in a way that told him this probably happened more often than not, and he thanked her and left. Up three stories with the elevator to the floor she’d directed him toward, footsteps echoing around the empty corridors, until he eventually found a more chaotic environment in the form of the emergency room.

How many times had he been here just that semester?

“Kirk!” someone Jim recognized from the Academy called out, glancing up from a clipboard. “What have you done now?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “It’s been months since… whatever. Do you know where Bones is? McCoy. Whatever you call him.”

“I tend to call him Leo.”

“That’s weird. Do you know where he is? He left his lunch.”

The guy, unnamed for now and the rest of eternity, pointed his thumb in the direction of yet another corridor. “Third door to the right.”

“Should I just go in?”

“They don’t have any patients in there right now.”

So Jim went, wondering if he was breaking any rules but feeling extremely ready to get out of there.

He saw it then. The small room - do they perform surgeries in there? - with a bed and a table and four windows and five people, all on top of each other with Bones in the middle. All talking, simultaneously grave and cracking jokes. Familiar, whether they wanted to or not. A job where you couldn’t be timid of bodily contact; eating and sleeping almost in each other’s laps. Jim looked at Bones, saw how easily he moved with elbows in his guts and people breathing down his neck.

He also saw his face light up when he caught sight of Jim.

“I brought your lunch,” he said meekly, holding it up, and if Bones was the type to profess his undying love for his friends, Jim was sure he would be going down on one knee right now.

“I’m only gonna say this once,” he said later, having entered their dorm as Jim had been nearly falling asleep over his homework. “You bringing me food literally saved my day and I will grant you one wish as a reward.”

And Jim, exhausted, lonely and closer to the verge of tears than he would’ve liked, demanded cuddles.

In their years of living together Jim had never asked for cuddles. He always wanted to, but whatever physical affection he had a tendency to hand out to his friends like a way too common gift, he always stopped before they could get mad, and therefore always stopped before he felt satisfied.

“I just want a good fucking cuddle,” he was saying now, his tone too desperate for it to sound like a joke. Bones, bless him, didn’t comment on it.

“Let me take a shower and change,” he only said. “Trust me, you don’t want whatever my clothes have.”

Jim nodded, suddenly feeling too vulnerable, too exposed, so he ducked his head back down, eyes on his books. Listening to every sound Bones was making, thinking he was being both too quick and too slow, and when he finally returned Jim was fully aware of it, but pretending to be too engrossed in his work to notice.

“You wanna cuddle now or later?” Bones asked, so casual about it that Jim knew he’d never manage to get a single thing done for the rest of the night.

“Now,” he said, standing abruptly enough to nearly knock his chair down.

Bones grabbed it, his face a mix of amusement and concern. “Right then. The couch? Movie night?”

“Sure.”

“Want to pick the movie?”

“You go ahead.”

“Okay.”

Jim tried to shake the sudden awkwardness out of his limbs as he followed his friend into the living room area of their tiny dorm, realizing this was probably a bad idea. They hadn’t even touched yet and he was acting like a total fool.

“We don’t have to do this,” he blurted out, causing Bones to stop in his tracks. “I don’t know why I asked for it. I’m over it. I was just tired. We really don’t have to.”

“Jim.” Reaching out to grab Jim’s arms, Bones gave his flesh a squeeze. “Breathe. It’s fine that you asked for it and we don’t have to do it if you’ve changed your mind, but if I really didn’t want to myself I would’ve said so.”

Jim deflated. “Promise?”

“Jesus, you must be exhausted. Yes, promise.”

“It’s just that-” Jim wasn’t sure why he was trying to explain when Bones hadn’t asked for an explanation in the first place. “-I saw you at the hospital and you seemed so okay with being physically close to people and I feel like I might die if nobody holds me for, like, half an hour-”

“Jim.”

“-and I know it’s part of your job so I don’t want to overstep-”

“Please shut up for a sec.”

Jim did, but only because Bones had said please.

“I don’t necessarily enjoy having my personal space so violated,” he continued. “But of course I don’t mind you doing it. You’re my-”

“I know,” Jim said when Bones trailed off. They had no words to describe what they were. “So I shouldn’t be jealous?”

“Absolutely not, but mostly because you act like an idiot when you want something you think you can’t have.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You act like a petulant child.”

“Oho, is that so?”

Bones ruffled his hair. “Go back to being timid. It was cuter.”

So maybe Jim didn’t pay attention to anything that happened in the movie and fell asleep in Bones’ arms ten minutes later, Bones’ fingers squeezing at various places on his body to get him to “relax for fuck’s sake”. Maybe he couldn’t picture himself falling asleep in an empty bed again for weeks. Maybe Bones was really fucking good at cuddling.

Waking up sweaty with Bones’ knee pressed to the small of his back later was a whole other thing. “Hhng. Get off.”

“You’re nearly on top of me.”

“Feels like I was hit by a truck.”

“You snore like a goddamn-”

Jim somehow managed to roll over and press his face into Bones’ neck. “Shh. Too loud.”

A spasm went through Bones’ body, convincing Jim he was trying to throw him off the couch and making him resort to clinging onto his torso for dear life. “N-no.”

“What was that?”

Bones was, miraculously, laughing.

Jim tried to crane his neck to get a glimpse of his face, but he only succeeded in pressing the top of his head beneath Bones’ chin. “Okay, what is happening right now?”

Bones said something incoherent, his words slurred with sleep and higher in pitch with laughter. His hands were clawing at Jim’s back, unable to get a good grip of his shirt and therefore only managing to lightly tickle him, which was kinda nice actually.

Wait.

“Oh, this is tickling you,” Jim said, laughing into Bones’ skin as if this was a group activity. “Hey, I didn’t even know you were ticklish.”

“I’m not,” came the strangled denial.

“Hmm, I think you are. Otherwise this wouldn’t bother you.” He spidered his fingers up Bones’ side, noticing the squirming getting a notch more desperate the closer he came to his friend’s ribs. He paused just beneath them. “I’ll make you a deal. If you don’t react to this I’ll believe you’re not ticklish. Okay?”

“Jim, you fucking-”

Jim jabbed him in the ribs and nearly lost his hearing from the shriek that left Bones’ mouth.

“Ah, so you’re ridiculously ticklish, then?”

Bones cursed and managed to slip his arm out from beneath him, placing it against Jim’s chest, but not pushing him off.

“And you don’t mind this? I see.”

“I’m gonna kill you, James Tiberius-”

“Don’t you middle name me, Leo.”

Years passed. They graduated. Jim somehow became a captain and got a ship. Bones for some reason decided to work on said ship, bestowing Jim with his constantly shifting moods for the next five years. Not that he complained. Was literally doing the exact opposite. And, all the while their lives changed and kept changing, Jim kept tickling him nearly daily.

“Don’t fucking tickle me in front of others,” had been Bones’ one demand disguised as a request.

So Jim didn’t, but kept it behind closed doors as they always had. The image of Bones being physically close to others always prompting him to demand cuddles, now that he wasn’t ashamed of this dire need anymore. And, more often than not, he would slip his hands beneath Bones’ shirt and make him laugh uncontrollably for a few minutes. He wasn’t sure how it had become a part of their routine, but he felt that if he didn’t get these intimate yet playful moments as often as he could he would shrivel up and die.

“You’re a drama queen,” Bones had said more than once when Jim had complained about them not having gotten any alone time.

“You literally beg me to stop when I’m barely even touching you,” Jim countered each time. “Don’t call me a drama queen when you’re just as bad.”

Bones would only wave a hand at him, having gotten out of the habit of blushing over his sensitivity years ago.

Something else that had become more common than they probably realized was how often Jim brought him food into medbay. Sometimes it was breakfast, snacks, his forgotten lunch or dinner. Other times it was just a drink, just as an excuse to stop by. Sometimes he came empty handed.

That day Bones truly had forgotten to eat, his empty seat painfully loud in the cafeteria. Jim knew his habits more than anyone and knew he wouldn’t eat unless food was visibly presented before him, and so he filled a tupperware with everything he knew Bones liked and skipped through the corridors, suddenly feeling like he was back at the Academy again.

Bones wasn’t alone, but he rarely was. The crowded hospital rooms had been replaced with him and Chapel dancing around each other, sometimes with more than one crew member present; arms and legs and chests and heads laid out for Bones’ magical fingers to heal, or so they hoped. Jim had lied there more times than he could count, so he was highly familiar with the nooks of this part of the ship.

Bones was standing on a stool, which made Jim stop in his tracks before he announced his presence, greeting dying on his lips and being replaced with a grin. Whatever Bones was trying to reach, it seemed to be just out of reach and he was grumbling as he kept stretching.

“Do you need a hand there?” Chapel asked, her tone playful while Bones let out an unprofessional curse.

“Can I borrow some heels?” he muttered, and she laughed, all familiarity due to working together in such close proximity for years. It wasn’t elbows in guts or naps in laps, but Jim recognized it from his crew on the Bridge. It was impossible to not grow close.

“It might help if I make you jump,” she continued.

“How the hell will you do that?”

Jim was almost proud of the fact that he didn’t let out any sound as he watched her reach out and poke at Bones’ ribs, just at the spot that could make him scream with laughter. It was a coincidence, it had to be a coincidence, how the hell could she know.

Bones didn’t squeal, but he didn’t pretend as if nothing was happening as he had learnt to do back in school, partly because back then people never meant to tickle you if they tried to get past you quickly and had to grab your waist. Chapel did indeed mean to make him squirm.

Jim watched his arms shoot down, swatting at her with a laugh so relaxed this really truly couldn’t have been the first time she tickled him. It really truly couldn’t.

Other people tickled Bones. Bones let other people tickle him.

He started backing away, lunch box forgotten when he literally bumped into Uhura who was coming from the opposite direction. The tupperware flew out of his hands as he let out a gasp in surprise, the food littering the floor only a second later. Things were a bit chaotic after that, but maybe because everything was overpowered by his frantically beating heart, that really had no business freaking out but there they were.

“I’m so sorry!” he heard Uhura say over his own incoherent babbling, the two of them crouching down to clean up the mess while Chapel and Bones kept repeating that “it’s fine, we have a broom, please get off the floor” that Uhura eventually listened to while Jim had to be pulled upright by Bones who was laughing, only to start frowning when he realized just how truly stressed out Jim was by the whole situation.

It wasn’t even about the food, but.

“I’ll go get you some more before they close the cafeteria,” he said, heart in his throat, threatening to spill out among the food on the ground, and who knew what that treacherous heart would reveal. “Really, it’s fine,” he said, leaving them be and rushing to the first restroom he could find, finally allowing himself to calm the fuck down and breathe.

What a stupid thing to get upset by, but.

He heard someone enter the room, causing him to press his body against the stall like a coward, but Bones’ voice rang clear anyway. “Jim?”

He didn’t reply.

“Come on, I know you’re in here.”

“I’m peeing.”

“Right, well, I’ll wait until you’ve finished.”

“Okay, I’m not peeing.”

“I know.” A beat, and, “Come out. Please.”

It was always the please that got him.

“Before you ask,” Jim said, exiting the stall. “I was gonna go get your food just after this stop.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about the food. I mean I do, and it was really nice that you brought me some, but it’s a slow day and I’ll be fine.”

“Oh.”

“I wanted to see what was up with you.”

“With me?”

“You seem… I don’t know. Freaked out? Like something is wrong?”

“I see.”

“Jim.”

He shook his head, ran a hand through his hair, looked anywhere but on Bones. “I don’t know. The whole situation sort of shook me and now I feel weird.”

“You spilling the food?”

“No. Jesus, no. Just-” He waved his hand in Bones’ general direction. “You being tickled by someone else. It was weird being an onlooker.”

“You’re acting like a disaster because of that?”

“Look, you know I’ve acted worse about tamer things.”

“You’re so stupid.”

Jim snorted, finally meeting his friend’s eye. “I’d love to have this conversation-”

“Stop lying.”

“-but I have to head back. Got a ship to run and all.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Fine, but I’m bringing this up tonight.”

Jim patted his shoulder as he passed. “I’m counting on it.”

It didn’t mean that he was looking forward to it, however.

“Ugh, just get it over with,” he groaned when Bones entered his quarters, looking rather alert, pointing to a calm rest of the day.

“Don’t sound so excited about it,” Bones deadpanned. “We’re gonna talk about my sensitive spots, after all.”

“I love your sensitive spots.”

“Focus.”

“I just thought it was something only I did to you, that’s all.”

“You got jealous?”

“Maybe a little?”

Bones relented. “You’re being-”

“Ridiculous, I know.”

“And kind of endearing, but I’ll only say that once.”

“You say many things once. Doesn’t mean I’ll forget them.”

“Oho, you’re kind of asking for it yourself, you know.”

Jim threw up his hands. “Tickle me, then. This whole day’s weird and backwards anyway.”

“You know I would never take your job.”

“Chapel did.”

“Oh, come on. As if you’ve never tickled anyone else before.”

Jim huffed, crossing his arms. “I never said my reaction was logical.”

“You gonna tickle me or not?”

“Are you asking me to?”

Bones did flush then, so rare nowadays. So wonderful. “Shut up. Just shut up.”

Jim barked out a laugh, already approaching him. “Stay still.”

“You know damn well I won’t.”

“I do, but it’s fun watching you struggle.”

“You sadist- wahait!”

Jim cornered him and pushed him down onto the couch, fingers already working over his hips, a spot he was certain no one else knew of. A spot that could make Bones scream so loud Jim had to stop out of fear of accidentally killing him.

Usually he was gentle, starting slow to make him giggle, but Bones had technically tickle cheated on him and that just wouldn’t do. Pinning him beneath his thighs, Jim dug into the sensitive spots, Bones’ clothes doing nothing to help him whatsoever.

Oh, how he laughed. Not a quick little inconvenienced laugh as he squirmed away, but a proper, desperate belly laugh. This was theirs and only theirs. Jim the only one Bones trusted to know this intimately. He was grabbing at Jim’s wrists now, but despite his strength he wasn’t pushing Jim away. Merely steadying himself.

Whatever they were and whatever they had, it always had and always would include this.

“I should tie you up and torture you,” Jim teased, even though he’d never immobilized him during this and only tickled him for a couple of minutes at a time, but Bones had once become a stuttering mess when Jim had threatened this and he did love a flustered Bones, after all.

He was laughing too hard to stutter, but the way he was shaking his head told Jim all he needed to know. His words had left a mark and whatever he did now, wherever he touched, would be more ticklish than usual.

He got to work.

[mountain-ash-and-rusted-iron]

this is an oc masterpost of all my haf-formed ocs languishing on pinterest with their messy aesthetics and unedited blurbs, in roughly chronological order of their creation, plus sorted by fandom. this post is only asoiaf, harry potter, hunger games, and riverdale, cos i have tooooooo many original characters otherwise and the post was getting incredibly long. (note that i love my ocs but these one’s are not polished or even the final versions of their characters, i just wanted to post them lol)

under a read more, if you’re on mobile start scrolling i guess, sorry,,,

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire:

Laeya Targeryen: (child of Rhaella and Aerys Targaryen, born 280 AC - three years older than Danaerys) 

Fearful of her impending marriage, Laeya is eleven when she takes her younger sister and flees across the sea to Dorne, hiding herself and Dany with dyed hair and badly controlled magic. As Leia and Dani Sand they learn to live normally. At 15 Leia joins the Royal Guard and secures Dany work as a tailor's apprentice. When she is 17, an assassin tries to kill her in front of the Dornish court and everything changes...

- so laeya straight up has magic, which im considering an extension of the dragon thing dany has - she can control flame and for the disguise uses her ‘inner fire’ to make her eyes white-blue like super hot flames, cos the purple eyes are super distinctive. and then she’s discovered and suddenly politics are happening. honestly she’s entirely a way for me to remove the child marriage bits of the targaryen storyline (stop marrying off your twelve-year-old baby sister viserys u asshole) - in terms of meta/basics, laeya doesn’t have a fc cos most of my early ocs don’t, and bcs i picture her as emilia clarke with faked dark hair and blue eyes lol

and a quick aesthetic below:

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Kyrra Snow: (child of Robert Baratheon and Maery Snow, birthdate ???)

Kyrra Snow is the eldest natural-born child of Robert Baratheon, current King of Westeros, and daughter of Maery Snow, a Southron (but Northern-born) merchant woman. After her mother realises Kyrra was growing up a little too much like her father in looks and needed to leave the far South before she caught the wrong sort of attention, Kyrra was sent off to travel with her aunt and cousins. She is 17 and heading further north, to Winter Town, when Jon Arryn dies.

- kyrra’s another child of everyone’s favourite asshole king, and she’s got a lot of people after her head, but she just wants to travel and continue her work as a simple peddler. (riiip poor girl) honestly she’s not that developed but yolo -

aes:

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Brynn Stark: (child of Catelyn and Eddard Stark, Robb’s twin sister)  

Brynn believes in honour and family, and she is loyal to Winterfell and the North above all else. Likes - archery, embroidery and weaving. Betrothed to [some young Northern lord] to keep the bonds between the Norther families strong.

-i basically made brynn as a contrast to sansa’s pro-southnness and excessive femininity and arya’s anger and desire for swords (relatable mood tho lmao). so brynn is here to mediate, extoll the virtues of both needlework and weapons, make a decent marriage to someone she likes, if not loves, and hold down the fort in the North while shit gets increasingly messier in the South. and a possible faceclaim is Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - 

aes:

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Rosienne Lannister: (child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister, born 273 AC)

Rose is looked at by the realm with dismissal, a consolation prize for her father, a spare daughter only useful for matchmaking, but at least able-bodied and pretty, unlike her brother. After a long betrothal, Rose is married to Willas Tyrell at the age of eighteen, cementing her role as the next Lady of High Garden...

- Rosie/Rose is a bonus Lannister, bcs why not. likes cyvasse and the harp, soft and kind and maternal, powerful in her own way. originally she was from a minor divergence where joanna survives tyrion’s birth and goes on to have another kid, but not sure if i’ll keep that aspect, so for now she’s tyrion’s twin -

and her aes (yes that quote is cropped, no i don’t care rn):

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honourable mentions to my other got underdeveloped got/asoiaf ocs who need more effort before i post properly about them:

Tamlen Storm, a rookery apprentice (working for the Maester of House Tully, managing the ravens) who may or may not be a reincarnated si-oc trying to save westeros, 

and an unnamed northern huntress who stumbled into the plot somehow and wants her normal life back (entirely inspired by Keira Knightley as Gwyn in Princess of Thieves, when she’s doing archery stuff and looking v butch).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry Potter:

Taurus ‘Ara’ Lestrange:  (child of Bellatrix and Roldolphous Lestrange, born 1978) 

Raised by the Goblins after a legal mix-up following her parents' imprisonment in Azkaban, Taurus is good with a sword and aiming to be the next Minister of Magic. She attends Hogwarts with the other magical kids her age, under the fake identity Ara Burke, unknown cousin of a minor half-blood family. When the Potter brat’s drama starts destroying her change at an education just as her fourth year, her OWL prep year, begins, Ara intervenes.

- im tangentially aware that as bellatrix’s kid she’s almost occupying the place of whats-her-name from the cursed child, but considering that i know nothing about the cursed child and don’t care about it anyway, i have elected to ignore this. her actual parent might turn out to be some smitten half-blood from a minor branch of the Greengrass family, or it might actually be Rodolphous, who knows. slightly inspired by the fic ‘Harry Crow’ (by robst on ff.net) where harry is raised by the goblins -

messy aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Valerian Potter: (child of Lily and James Potter, born 1980)

After the Potter twins’ parents are murdered by Voldemort, they’re dumped on the doorstep of Number 4, Privet Drive. Dealing with two traumatised magical orphans, Petunia and Vernon Dursley turn to violence and neglect to stay in control, acting far more harshly than expected. With the arrival of two Hogwarts letters, life gets complicated incredibly quickly. (Self-sufficient and scarred from abuse, Val and Harry are immediately Sorted into Slytherin). 

- val’s fic is basically an angst fest, okay,,, -

aes:

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and shout-outs to: holly addison potter, a half-baked reincarnation si-oc (i love that concept a lot, can u tell) and my fav girl thea dursley, who already has her own fic and so isn’t getting a proper spot in this post 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hunger Games:

Asher: (District Two, age 18) 

[rip no blurb for asher]

-asher is a career from two, who wins the 70th games. mostly im focusing on her recovery and how the games function in two, with training volunteers and mentoring and collecting sponsors, plus eventually the rebellion. lots of the D2 headcanon i have is inspired by @/lorata but i defintely made a distinct effort to have my own stuff, cos where’s the fun in plagiarism -

aes for Asher’s Games:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Rowan Everdeen: (District Twelve, age 19)

Rowan will do anything to protect her family. This extends to going to Head Peacekeeper Cray on a cold winters night, charging the most she can get for her virginity.  It extends to Reaping Day, when she steps out in front of the crowd and says “I volunteer as tribute” in the steadiest voice she can muster.  It extends to clawing her way out of the Arena, bloody and exhausted, with blades in her hands and violence kept tucked behind her teeth. It extends further, to a simple ‘Yes, President Snow’ when he coldly, carefully implies her family might meet with an accident if she doesn’t play the good little Victor (and fuck the people who pay the Capitol for her company). It extends to joining the Rebellion, to looking President Coin directly in the eye and agreeing to be a Mockingjay, a symbol for the people to rally around.

- another everdeen kiddo! as the big sister, rowan volunteers for prim, and goes through the Games - she’s a healer and a hunter, and a decent enough actor that she can manage interviews and a camera presence, unlike katniss. rowan also pairs well with a minor au i have, where the reapings are spaced out over a week and official training is a longer, giving the capitol a nice, long buildup to get excited and place bets, etc., and giving the poor, underfed tributes from the outer districts a better chance, which makes for more interesting television and better Games -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrasteia Crane: (The Capitol, age 28) Unlike her big brother, Adrasteia doesn’t want to be a Gamemaker. Instead, she wants to create clothes, artwork, to enrapture the Capitol. She wants to be a Games stylist. After years of design school, of working her way up the ranks, first a PA’s assistant, and then fetching and carrying for Twelve’s prep team, and then eventually on a prep team for the dull tributes from Six, Adrasteia Crane finally has what she wants - the position of stylist for District Three’s male tribute in 74th Hunger Games. 

- tbh adrasteia is only seneca crane’s sister because i couldn’t think of a suitable last name for her lmao. i think i’d actually prefer her to be unattached to any major canon players. however, his death is a good motivation for her to join the rebellion, so we’ll see. she’s got a bit of the capitol fashion thing going too, with soft pink hair and diamond-effect skin on her face and shoulders -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

also bonus hunger games content: another oc, Sarsaparilla Verran, from District Eleven, fifteen and alone when she goes into the Games. An orphan, her siblings lost to the Community Home system years ago, her relatives dead or uncaring. So, Rilla is a wee lonely bab tbh. she did not want this, unlike most of my other hg ocs, and she’s not excited for weeks of murder. she just wants her family back, but since that isn’t possible, she’ll build a new family instead. and uuhhhhh,  spoiler alert, she dies before she can have this ://///

and my hunger games aus - a canon divergence where katniss joins the careers instead of peeta, her desire to go home to her family outweighing her reactive hate for the concept of training/volunteering to kill other teens, and a fem!Haymitch au where she’s a little wiser to the dark side of the capitol before she commits acts of rebellion (she still rebels anyway tho, just smarter).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riverdale:

Cat Cooper: (middle child of Alice and Hal Cooper) Cat Cooper (17) is the black sheep of the Cooper family. Her piercings, brightly dyed hair and connections to the Southside Serpents make her the odd one out among her sisters and constantly at odds with Alice Cooper. Cat’s life is occupied with her Serpent friends, work at a local coffee shop, and training - martial arts, supplemented with cross country, gymnastics and swimming. Until her older sister is shipped off to places unknown and her baby sister starts getting caught up in murder investigation with the absent Serpent heir... 

- haven’t decided between Catelyn or Catherine for Cat’s full name lmao. she used to be Kit, actually, but I changed it cos i prefer Kit to solely be my divergent oc (kit serafim). Cat is an ADHD disaster who loves her sisters and her friends and wants to get the hell out of Riverdale on a sports scholarship (she does either boxing or karate mainly, need to figure that bit out) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Georgie Andrews: (child of Mary and Fred Andrews)

Georgie likes soft drinks, cheerleading, and hanging out with the Blossom twins and Polly Cooper, their closest friends and a welcome distraction from their own problems. After Polly and Jason vanish, Georgie’s support system is almost gone, and they has to deal with everything they’ve been bottling up, just in time for Fred Andrews to get shot.

- also just angst ngl.  so georgie’s gender is basically ???, they enjoy cheerleading and not much else. they spend half their time dealing with depression, by trying to ignore stressful/hard topics and focus on the good side of everything. this isn’t a great long-term coping mechanism and has the fun side effect of pissing of the people around him when she seems unable to be serious or empathetic to someone else's pain (bcs she’s too busy deflecting for the sake of her own fragile mental health), so it gets fun when fred is shot and archie starts getting in too deep with the lodges -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sera Thornstone: (parents ???) Southside Serpent. Going to the Riverdale Community College and running errands for FP Jones. And secretly meeting up with her Ghoulie lover down by the Sweetwater where nobody goes. 

- everything about sera is vague and undecided lmao. but she has a ghoulie gf/bf/nbf? and they’re hiding that they were down by the river on the 4th of july, cos a serpent is an immediate suspect. going to community college to work on getting general credits before saving up for fancy school for law or journalism. the aes isn’t entirely accurate cos sera’s built from the remains of another serpent oc who i scrapped (she does have a baseball bat tho) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and honourable mentions to jen johnson and octavia blossom-murphy, my other riverdale ocs who actually have content, plus an in-development unnamed oc who gets adopted from the soqm by the Muggs family and growsup with Ethel. and my riverdale role reversal au, which i will never write but have some nice aesthetics for under the tag wip: bughead role reversal au.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

all my mini-aesthetics here are unsourced images/from pinterest. any similarities to other people or characters, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

alrighty that’s it. now i have to tag this behemoth argh

[annakie]

Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda.  I have thoughts, about both.  I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly.  Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over.  I miss the Ponds.  I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly.  I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes?  I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much.  The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.  

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I’D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY.  GROSS.  SUPER GROSS.  SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS.  BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better.  Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all?  The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”.  She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned?  I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important?  “The most importantest companion EVAR!”  

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds.  Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her?  She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know.  It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment.  It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.  

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.”  I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3.  I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena.  I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here.  I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus.  I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time.  In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do.  Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame.  I rotate through all five for sidemissions.  

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team.  Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team.  Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back.  And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth.  Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions.  At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile.  I mean, even Javik gets more play.  Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.  

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth.  And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites.  (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC?  I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)  

I love Garrus, so much.  And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters.  The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile.  But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.  

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines.  Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.  

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this.  It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing.  I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall.  Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds.  It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it.  I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.  

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders.  I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods.  There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.  

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

-------------------------

So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda.  A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.  

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals?  Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked”  No, thanks.  I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.  

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing.  Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.  

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice.  And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod.  I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances.  I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own.  So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.  

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam)  My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.)  It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things.  I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second.  Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them.  So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once.  I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.  

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda.  It’s a GOOD game.  And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends.  This story deserved to finish being told.  Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got.  And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it.  100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much.  For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough.  My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”  

So like, do the content, not the filler.  

I still hate the vaults.  The first one is cool.  The rest are tedious.  But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though.  They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL.  All the companions I think are... good?  There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say.  It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers”  There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me.  There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil?  Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up.  What, do Salarains not sleep or something?  Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!?  Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”.  WHAT?  THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.  

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it.  If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him.  He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time.  He’s not doing anything out of malice.  He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going.  Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist.  (Honestly, I also think  “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go.  I mostly just take screenshots for me now.  I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%.  Time to go save the Moeshe.  I’m having fun.  

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though.  I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

[nightglider124]

I am so tired.

So. It’s come to it. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head and I can’t express them enough so looks like we’re doing a big fat post which is fucking stupid anyway.

This whole Dickkory/Dickbabs darma... I’m seeing it in the tags and I’m just... why? I thought people were done with this pathetic ship war stuff. It’s so childish?

So, I’ve only really noticed an influx of this hatred since that anon went on a hate spree to dickkory fans’ inboxes. Otherwise, I don’t really notice anything between dickbabs and dickkory fans. 

Let’s be clear about this - That anon doesn’t represent the entirety of dickbabs fans; they really don’t. From the looks of it, they were just a bully and a troll, intent on causing some drama between the two ships. I doubt they’re even a dickbabs fan for real - and if they are, they are certainly not one that the fans would want to associate themselves with, I imagine.

In response to that, can we all stop the shitty back and forth? That anon (or in some cases not anon for those who were also aware of their username) is a nobody who honestly just wants to be a dick and doesn’t care about the fandom itself. If you’re a dickbabs fan and you’re sticking up for them and the things they have been saying to dickkory fans, you need to reevaluate. Likewise, if you’re a dickkory fan that has been lashing out at dickbabs fans for no other reason than being triggered by that pathetic anon, stop it.

Like chill the fuck out with all this abuse between the two ships; it’s so high school and irrelevant and exhausting. Just stop; don’t be children because it’s just embarrassing. That is to both sides of this.

Which leads me to the next thing - dickbabs and dickkory fans are no better or worse than the other. In both fandoms, you have the bad apples who are honestly just such assholes, even you dislike them. I can tell you right now, there are many dickkory fans in the past that I have blocked because they are so negative and atrocious - they’re just not worth being linked to. 

But, neither fan can turn round and say “my fandom is perfect; no one gives hate” because you’re either just not seeing it or you’re not being truthful. There are crappy, hateful fans in ever corner of fandom - any fandom. 

There will always be a few that ruin it for other fans who simply want to enjoy their ship without any abuse or drama. There will always be the hateful, nasty fans who like to try and tear down their “rival” ship and make the fandom look bad. 

It’s not an individual thing so can we please not act like it is? Dickbabs fans need to stop coming for dickkory fans saying we’re all toxic and vice versa; dickkory fans need to remember that dickbabs fans are not these demons - they are just fans trying to enjoy their ship. 

Everyone just leave each other alone if you don’t have nice things to say.

Just be happy with what you have - Dickkory is clearly a thing going on in Titans and some other forms of media. Dickbabs is going on YJ - Let each other have the media forms. Like, who cares? Just be happy with the content you get - don’t be spiteful and angry and pathetic towards fans who are happy to have their ship in something, regardless of who has had more or whatever. 

The thing I have seen a lot of is this slut shaming as well which isn’t cool. This whole hate on Kory as a character is just not acceptable. Whether you dislike her or not, stay out of Kory related tags and stay away from the actress portraying her in Titans. If you’re sending hate to Anna Diop, you are just such a shitty person. The woman is doing her job; leave her the fuck alone. 

Just because you don’t like the character or you don’t like who has been chosen to play her, does not give you the right to be sending threats and racial slurs towards the actress. I thought that was basic human principals but I guess some are still in the baby stages of learning that one; y’know, how to respect others around them. 

Likewise, I’ve seen some dickkory fans bashing on Babs as a character as well which isn’t fair either. Babs is a wonderful character in her own right and if you don’t like her or you hate on her solely because you dislike dickbabs; get in the damn corner and take a time out. I’m not a huge fangirl of Babs; not for a particular reason, I’m just neither here nor there for her. 

But, you don’t see me going to posts and fanart and fanfics and fans’ inboxes, giving them shit just for liking the character. Each to their own on who they like, who they ship, who they don’t like but stop trying to shove it down other fans’ throats. 

Do not push your opinions and thoughts on characters and ships on people who are fans of what you hate. It’s not fair and honestly just makes you a douchebag. 

A big rule in fandoms which... I really thought some people would have learned by this point - if you don’t like something, scroll past it or blacklist it. If you don’t like a user on this site/fandom or they post stuff you don’t like? That block button is there for a reason. Keep the negative stuff away from your dashboard. 

Don’t start giving people hate and making drama and just being unpleasant when all you need to do it blacklist or block. It’s not difficult. 

The same goes for - if you’re making a hate post or if you’re stating how you don’t like “X ship” - for the love of God, don’t tag it. Don’t be that person. Please.

If you tag stuff that you know if gonna piss off a fan, then you get no sympathy when they come stomping through. You are clearly provoking them with that.

Don’t tag bullshit and don’t do it when you know fans go to the tags to enjoy their ship; not to see it be torn down or spat on. 

Just be respectful and nice?? I don’t know why the select few fans on both sides of Dickkory and Dickbabs find that so damn hard? It’s not.

Both ships are valid and wonderful - accept and embrace this; please. And move on.

I am so sick of seeing spitefulness to each other when at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to enjoy out fictional characters and our ships. No one should be getting harassed or abused over something like that.

Fandom world, for most is supposed to be a haven and people who give shit and hate and make unnecessary drama are the ones who ruin the haven.

I can’t believe I actually have to reiterate to just be nice? It’s a basic human concept. Be nice to others and be respectful of things that whilst you might not like, others do. Accept and move on.

I feel like I’ve been fair in this little rant so if I get hate on either side lmao, I will be either deleting or giving you blunt af replies bc honestly I am so done with childish arguments. 

[minblush]

k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

[pwnyta]

Okay, I don’t want to come off as a dick, but I will be honest, I really don’t like EN VAs in general because some of them tend to get into too much drama, talk out of their asses when it comes to IPs they work with and kind of behave like they kin characters that they voice which seems extremely unprofessional and cringey to me (I’m not an English speaker, so it’s not like I dislike them because of this us talking the same language)

I don’t say this to be rude, but in the last 10 years or so I’ve seen too much drama in fandoms that have something to do with English VAs (even when english VAs are the original VAs). I feel strange when some VAs basically try to adopt the personality of the character they voice, it seems so strange and childish? Like, my problem with a lot of those people is the fact that they don’t behave professionally. They talk in character when asked (outside of their job, I mean), which is, you know, I find questionable, they talk about characters as if they know better and rarely state “that’s just my head canon and it should be treated as such, I’m not a writer” and because of that some people stars to treat their opinions as canon (for some reason).

I don’t know how to explain it, really. I have no probs with English VAs who don’t interact with fandoms much and who treat their voice acting, as, you know, their job and are professional about it. I understand it if you are super excited about voicing a character in the big IP, but sometimes those VAs just go too far.

I still can’t get over the fact that because of Paimon’s VAs stupid remark there was (and still is) a witch-hunt for every person who draws Traveller ships. I’ve seen people being told to k*ll themselves because of this stupid misinformation so many times that it’s exhausting. I can’t imagine what artists/writers feel like when they are threatened or insulted for drawing sometimes even the fluffiest, the least problematic things ever.

I don’t know anything about cringe culture or whatever the fuck it’s called, but some English vas need to grow the fuck up and start to treat their work as work, not as a kinning opportunity.

Also, I feel like some companies need to have a talk with their employees and to explain to them what to do and what NOT to do when they interact with customers. In the very end, VAs are considered the face of the company by some people (I personally strongly disagree, but who cares), and when someone represents you, you, as a big company, probably don’t want some f*ck up to represent you and then do something that makes YOU look bad.

The thing is, I know I can sound like an asshole, but I really don’t even hate English VAs. I’m 100% okay with the ones who are professional and don’t treat fandoms as their free tickets for power trips and/or opportunities to say whatever the fuck they want. It’s just that it feels like English VAs are the only ones that have those kind of problems. I’ve never heard about any kind of drama/problems with Chinese/Japanese/Korean VAs, and that’s why the English ones look so egregious (well, I am taking more about Asian vas in general, you know? I assume maybe they have stricter rules when it comes to talking about their work, which doesn’t seem to be the case with English actors)

My point being, it would be lovely if people on the English side of things… all things, really, would stop behaving horribly. You was presented with a fantastic opportunity and and it’s okay to be happy about it, but I beg of you, don’t fuck it up for the rest of us just because you feel like you was granted a small amount of power.

Yeah I dont know enough VAs EN or otherwise to know how they act generally but if that is how it is... that would be annoying. On one hand I always thought it was a little bit cute when you could tell an actor/VA really loves the character theyre portraying but to try to dish your headcanon as absolute fact is pretty shitty.

Im surprised the EN VAs get as much leeway as they do... especially in Genshin since the translations have been off quite a few times.

[peaceisadirtyword]

Hi!🥰 first of all, thank you, @ivarsrideordie for writing this. This is something I’ve talked about with some of the people I know that like Alex. The thing I wanted some people to understand is: we’re all mentally exhausted and tired from surviving a fucking global pandemic, because this has been (and it’s) a nightmare and has affected everyone in one way or another. So now imagine all of this but also with people that no matter what or when you post, they have something to say and are constantly stalking every single one of your movements because they need to know where you are.

Alex has talked more than once (and for this I’m forever grateful to him) about his mental health, his anxiety and his depression. I, unfortunately, as many people here and out there, struggle with the same things, and yeah, even the fandom drama made me feel really bad sometimes, that’s why now I barely comment on it. So I couldn’t even imagine being Alex and having 2+ million people knowing where I am, with whom, what I’m doing, if I have a partner, whom am I kissing on a bar for fun (not now bc there’s a virus lol but you know what I mean). And having people dictating what you post or what you don’t. Imagine going on a trip with your friends and coming back to read thousands of people saying you disappointed them, that you’re a bad person and horrible things I read on his comments and made ME tear up. I can’t even imagine how he felt.

What I’m trying to say is: yeah, Alex is an actor, someone that, because of his job (which he does really well, that’s why he has so many fans), is famous. But far from being a mere entertainment figure, he’s a person, he also needs breaks and he also needs to stop sometimes. Yes, I miss him posting pictures and fooling around on insta, but I understand he’s not comfortable doing that anymore. No one but him knows the exact reason but we can’t judge either, he’s doing what is best for himself.

So no, I don’t think he hates us, maybe he doesn’t like some of his followers for obvious reasons (I don’t either), but probably he just needs a break. He doesn’t want his private life (pictures with his friends and family, love life, things like that) online, and that’s completely understandable. Correct me if I’m wrong but the time I spent in Denmark made me learn that danes are very private people, so it’s normal.

When I met Alex, he was the nicest person ever:( maybe he was acting, yeah, but even if I didn’t want to bother him, he came to talk to me and he hugged me! I didn’t expect that, I thought he’d just say hello and would leave, which I would have understood because he doesn’t really owe me anything. I just knew I had to say hello, to tell him I loved his acting and his photography, that he was the reason I picked up my camera again more than once. I think he had the right to know, and he thanked me, hugged me and told me to take a picture. And then we both ended up laughing because my hand was shaking and I couldn’t take the picture. It was so genuine and he was so cool with it even if I could barely speak, but he asked for my name and introduced himself after thanking me and saying it was okay for me to approach him. It was honestly one of the best moments of my life, and one that, among other things, stopped me from doing something really bad more than once.

I shared my picture (the most decent one) because I was so excited about it. And everyone was so cool and so nice, and I hope y’all get to meet him someday because he really is a sweetheart. Hell, he even liked my instagram post. But there were also bad things, people that told me ‘I had ruined his day by talking to him’, that ‘He actually hated me’, things like that, even some people felt the need to ‘remind’ me how ugly I am, how bad I looked in the picture, how I was an attention whore because one of my closest friends commented a “couple goals” as a joke on my instagram post... things like that, from anonymous people that are too coward to come forward. I ignored them as much as I could, but it made me think of how many messages like that he receives every day, and not only him, but his friends (mostly his female friends) and even his family.

So as long as he's okay and we can keep enjoying his work (as an actor, a photographer, a model, whatever he does), I think it's fine! I'm happy with that. And I'm glad to see there's a lot of people that think like this, I hope he knows we respect him and his decisions.

Sorry for the long ass text💀 I'm so annoying sometimes lol I don't even know if this makes sense but yeah. Thank you for reading and take care♥️

Now,

Last night I said I needed to say stuff but didn’t want it to come out the wrong way.  Just ask anyone.  I am abrasive, rude, and sarcastically mean BUT most of the time that’s just how I am.  I’m not trying to be an asshole.  I am being me.  I am almost always brutally honest (at least online) to people when giving my opinion or commenting on things that I believe are right.  Or wrong, it doesn’t matter.  People I know IRL and care about I try not to be so brutal with.  Sometimes it doesn’t happen.  

With that said, I’ve seen a lot, and I mean A LOT of stuff lately.  And it kinda makes me upset, but I get it.  I see little pieces of opinions and “rumors” and what not.  I agree with some of them.  Others just need to get tf on and over it. 

Let me just say, I love the Vikings fandom!  I really, really do.  I get that Alex seems to be the favorite of all of the brothers.  I get that we all love when he updates us with small videos of things he is working on or what he has been doing that day.  I miss them just as much as the next person.  But, I also know he wants his private life kept private.  

Crap, I just complained about read more and this is turning out to be a read more post…  *insert*

Keep reading

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 16.06.17 lb

plain text version here. 

god, i'm honestly EXHAUSTED by this never ending conversation. how do people fucking talk to each other for more than 2 minutes at a time? i need a fucking nap after a routine “how are you? ghar pe sab kaise hai?” type conversation itself. and these ppl just. keep. going. 😯😯😯

"i was almost going to say that i... main galat tha." 

that's not that you were gonna say, you coward. you were gonna tell her that you fucking loved her. fucking fuck. 😒😒😒

yikes he's saying sorry and thank you all passive aggressively. 😬😬😬

oh man, anika's look towards om for strength. i can't. i caaan't. 😥😥😥

"he was right, i was wrong."

ok simmer the f down, dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. 🙄🙄🙄

omRu's "ugh itni mushkil se toh sudhar gaya tha. ab waapas iska puraana waala chutiyaapa jhelna padega." faces. 😆😆😆

yeah, ok, you know what, YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME. 😑😑😑

pft, every day it’s a new status update with you and your marriage. some day you’re married to someone else, then you’re married to a whole new person who’s your “taaqat” and reason of you winning business awards, then 3 days later you’re breaking up with her. honestly, the indian public is so done with you and your teenage emo drama, shivaay. we have bigger issues. like drought, famine, disease, and the fucking economy. 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh mannnn, anikaaaaaa, my babyyyyyyyyy. noooooooo!!!!!!! this family isn’t even worth shedding tears over, let alone blood! 😥😥😥

ughhhhhhhh pinkyyyyyyyyy. i wish the bubonic plague and leprosy on you. 😤😤😤

keeeemat?????? bitch you want a keemat of having to deal with you and your mother on a daily basis? 😒😒😒

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaassss tell him girl. him and his fucking “keemat”. 😠😠😠

i’m honestly fascinated by the physics of anika’s blouse. how’s it even staying on, when there’s practically nothing holding it together in the back/sides??? magic!!! 😧😧😧

ok there’s no need for SUCH VIOLENT MANHANDLING, ASSHOLE.

the official tagline of this show. 😑😑😑

LMAO WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SUDDENLY UPSTAIRS???? is he taking her on a tour of the house to show her what she’ll be missing from today??? 🙄🙄🙄

ok his face is kinda killing me. a little bit. 😶😶😶

AND THIS FUCKING SONG. EVERY TIME. EVERY FUCKING TIME IT MAKES ME SOB LIKE A BITCH BABY. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

esp the “rang the noor tha, jab kareeb tu tha, ek jannat sa tha yeh jahaan” part. it’s always the part that gets me. 😫😫😫

is there deeper symbolism to the fact that she fell into the lap of the deity (can’t quite identify which one it is? the posture is that of Shiva, but the face more Krishna-like...) maybe that divine forces will protect her through this phase? 🤔🤔🤔

no, don’t show me all his promisessssss. lies. alllllllllll lies. MEN ARE NOTHING BUT FUCKING LIARSSSSSS. I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE THEM ALLLLLLLL. 😡😡😡

the last time they did this exact same thing, they were faking, and sharing secret smiles. 😪😪😪

he still can’t resist turning back to look at her one last time. 😭😭😭

anikaaaa, myyyyyyyy babyyyyyyyyy. honestly, i just want dharti maa to phatofy and take her. coz none of you fucking mortals deserve my goddess. she deserves to be free of the fuckery of the human plane forever. 😤😤😤

shivaay’s going to go on a tod-phod benderrrrrrrrr isn’t he? 😕😕😕

yeah dude, ok, you’re pretty handsome. stop staring at your own reflection so lovingly, you narcissist. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao what a weakass punch. PUT SOME FEELING INTO IT, YOU GODDAMN PUSSY. FUCKING BLEED. LIKE MY GIRL DID. 😠😠😠

good. also my god the terrible graphics. fucking hell. 🤢🤢🤢

he’s bleeding rooh afza again. 🙄🙄🙄

is that chanda? (and ranveer/kamini’s house? lol.)

oh wait she’s closing the door. it’s supposed to be her old house again??? 🤔🤔🤔

i honestly have zero sympathy for shivaay right now. so don’t even bother showing me his breakdown. like i know it’s not any of his fault, but it’s a little his fault. because he’s so goddamn stupid. and didn’t even use 0.3% of his fucking brain before reacting immediately like a goddamn monkey at the zoo that kids were throwing peanuts at. 😒😒😒

and also coz he’s a man. and men suck. and are incapable of doing anything right. 😑😑😑

^^^ the ishqbaaz fandom, after every episode this week. 

okay, how have i never noticed how fucking high pitched this song was? it’s making MY lungs hurt, just listening to the notes she’s hitting. 😬😬😬

ok little bit sympathy at his baby face while crying. but still not even 10% of what i’m feeling for my girl. 😭😭😭😭

lmaooooooooooo meghna, girl, give him more than a fucking hour at least? like his damaged ass was fucked up to begin with, you really wanna go after him NOW and be his rebound? love yourself, girl. love yourself. 😐😐😐

man i just don’t likeeeeee aditi’s acting. like... it always feels like whatever emotion she’s trying to show is 85% diluted or something. i never really FEEL anything. plus her dialogue delivery is still sucky, after allllllllllll these years. 😕😕😕

oh shut up dadi. aapko kisi lambi yaatra pe nahi jaana? please go. and don’t come back for 6 - 9 months, thanks. 😒😒😒

NAZARRRRRR HI LAG GAYI. IS KALMUHI MUMMEH KI. 😤😤😤

yo man i never thought there would be a time when i’d be so strongly team Shakti. this show. truly such a mindfuck tripppppppp. 😳😳😳

ooooh pinky ko jhanvi ki baat chubhiiiiii. good. 😈😈😈

“jabse anika gayi hai...” 

meaning what??? how many days have passed? 🤔🤔🤔 are you ppl just getting overly emotional about him missing ONE meal and staying in his room for ONE night???? the fuck is wrong with you clingy ass fuckers. let a man fucking breathe. 😒😒😒

why is this rando security staff in charge of fixing meetings? surely it should be mishra’s job? 🤔🤔🤔

i miss mishra. mishra was cute. 😊😊😊

lmaoooooo yeah ok, “ON TOP OF THE WORLD.” sure. 😆😆😆

oh hallelujah, 300 episodes later, this fucker is finally GOING TO OFFICE. 😯😯😯

gotta say, if nothing else, i relate to pinky’s level of being in denial. 😎😎😎

fat free toast. jesus christ, rudra. who the fuck starts off their morning with a plateful of depression like this???? 😟😟😟

no one wants your food-bribes, shivaay. we want anika. 😣😣😣

why are we even here, checking up on shivaay??? we already knew how the shivaayBot would react to this situation. i care about my girl. show me herrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! 😥😥😥

lmaooooooooooo omRu’s 1000% done faces. rudra looks like he straight up wants to kick shivaay in the nads. 😂😂😂

phone isliye kaata kyunki bitch don’t you dare come for mishra. he’s the one who’s been running this empire while you’ve been lounging around at home, dealing with your “girl problems” for a year. 😒😒😒

son please. you haven’t been “absolutely normal” since the day you exited your mama’s womb. 🙄🙄🙄

... no like seriously, is this next morning or 2 weeks later or a month later or.... i don’t get it. 😕😕😕

kal se... ok, it’s next day. 😐😐😐

ok anika, come on. don’t turn on chanda like this. sisters above misters, always. 👯🏽👯🏽👯🏽

also wait, this is chanda’s house???? LMAO, SO SHE SHUT CHANDA OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE IN ORDER TO TO HAVE HER LITTLE EMO SHIT FIT???? LOLOLOLOL. 😂😂😂😂😂

i likeeeeeeeeee chanda. she’s sweet. and sensible. and supportive. i hope we see more of her in the coming days! 💖💖💖

OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DON’T MAKE ME FEEL FOR SHIVAAY BY USING SAHIL LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.😩😩😩

are they ever planning to tell sahil??? 🤔🤔🤔

probably not, coz they know he has the most sense of them all and will make them get back together in like 3 minutes flat. 🙄🙄🙄

oh, looks like shivaay’s pesky little Awareness™ problem is back. 🙃🙃🙃

[ddproductionsw77]

The Electronic Configuration of Hate and Love (Pt. 4)

Fandom: Girl Meets World

Pairing(s): Riarkle

Story Description: "The only thing the two seemed able to agree upon was that Abigail Adams was definitely not big enough for the both of them." Riley Matthews and Farkle Minkus have hated each other from the first day of Freshmen year, but now they have to spend the rest of their Senior year chemistry partners.

Author’s Note: So, I've decided to keep Electronic Configuration rated T. I will, however, warn you guys up here in the notes whenever a chapter has the potential to stray into M territory. Again, I never write anything graphic but I still don't want to offend any of you guys! I love you too much!! Please give me feedback, like Lady Gaga, I live for the applause.

Riley sat with her knees tucked up to her chin, hugging her legs, on the bench of her classic bay window. Outside, the sky was pitch black, shifting into a gradient with the glow of the New York cityscape below. The stars were clouded behind fog and light pollution, the moon just barely a sliver of luminescent yellow contradicting to the bleakness of everything else.

She wished there would be a falling star or a comet. Something she could wish on.

How could she have been so stupid?

She’d let herself be swept up the moment, caught up in Farkle and his smile and her name on his lips. Kissing him had been a mistake. He didn’t have feelings like that for her. He’d called himself her friend practically seconds before she flung herself at him, for God’s sake!

Riley was humiliated.

She didn’t even understand her own actions. She had focused most of her time and energy over the years to academics and extracurriculars; the rest dedicated to Maya and her family. Despite being a hopeless romantic, Riley had sacrificed dating to ensure she would achieve her goals, like Columbia.

She’d had crushes, sure, one even on Farkle’s best friend, Lucas Friar, not too long ago but this was different. This, he, was all she could ever think about anymore. She worried for him, missed him, longed for the next moment she would be able to be beside him.

Riley had never felt more out-of-control in her life.

It was only going to get worse tomorrow when she had to face Farkle for the first time since her complete lapse of control and judgment. Knowing what a dick the boy could be, he’d probably laugh at her or sneer at her feelings for him…

No, A tiny voice whispered hopefully in the back of her head, He wouldn’t do that. Things are different now and you know that. You know he feels something for you.

But did he?

Farkle called her a friend, accepted her help, and seemed to like spending time with her but none of that meant he was in love with her.

Riley stopped breathing, her heart skipping a beat.

In love? Where the hell had that come from?

Because having a silly, school-girl crush on Farkle or liking him as more than a friend was one thing but being in love with him… She couldn’t be in love with him! She didn’t even know what that would feel like so obviously she was just tripping over her own thoughts and thinking too much again and wondering about things that were just… not true.

There was a light knock on her bedroom door, pulling her from her jumbled brain. She turned to the door and rested her head against her knees caps, calling softly, "Come in."

The door swung open and Riley's mother, Topanga Lawrence-Matthews, ducked her head around the wood. She had a look of confusion and concern on her face as she stepped into the bedroom, "Why are you still up?"

"Why are you?" Riley asked with a tired, teasing smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. As a hard working, high-profile, New York lawyer and small business owner, Riley's mother rarely stayed up past her own teenage daughter. She was mocked relentlessly for it by her husband and children.

Topanga crossed her arms over her chest and gave Riley a look before stepping over to the bay window and sitting beside her daughter, "Everything okay?"

The brunette considered the question, furrowing her brow and inspecting her bony toes, "I need to repaint my toenails. They're chipped."

The mother looked her child over before nodding. She got up, finding Riley's favorite-as-of-late blue nail polish and sat back down, patting her lap. Without a word, Riley settled her feet into her mother's lap and watched as Topanga began repainting the nails.

They were silent for a moment before her mother prompted her again, "Anything besides clipped paint you want to talk about?"

Riley bit her cheek and looked out the window, "Have you ever done something without thinking? And it seems like now you can't fix it but you also don't really want to and... And you just confused?"

"Well," Topanga gave her daughter an amused sideways glance, "I think so but you might have to give me more than that for me to help you out, Sweetie."

"There's... this boy," The girl finally admitted, reluctantly. She felt her mother pause between nails but pressed on anyway, "I think that I might really like him but we're just friends and Friday I-" She blushed scarlet and picked at her fingernails, chipping those as well, "I might have kissed him."

A squeal erupted from her mother, causing the girl to look at her wide eyed and flush even redder. Topanga held up a hand and took a deep breath, "Sorry. Sorry, Sweetie! You're just to grown up now and-"

"Mom!"

"I know! I know! Okay, so you kissed him. Why is that a problem?”

“Because,” Riley sighed, flicking some hair out of her field of vision, “Because we could not be more mixed-matched if we tried. He’s so confusing and everything with him is like one step forward and three back and I never know what he’s thinking! And even if all that were different, he doesn’t have feelings for me.”

Topanga gave her daughter a questioning look, “If you never know what he’s thinking, how do you know he doesn’t?”

Riley opened her mouth to reply, thinking back for a moment on the way Farkle’s blue eyes had seemed to crackle as he looked down at her, right before she had kissed him. She recalled the grip he’d had on her hips, how he’d practically crushed her against him.

How kissing him had felt a little like playing with fire…

She closed her mouth, furrowing her brow.

He fucking kissed Riley Matthews… and liked it. And very, very much wanted to do it again.

This was not an outcome he’d been anticipating. No educated guess he’d concocted upon first being paired with Riley could have possibly prepared him for this.

She was Riley, for god’s sakes! Farkle couldn’t have even imagined speaking to her without wanted to throttle her a month ago and now…

Well, now things were different. And confusing. And maybe even a little… intriguing?

She was intriguing, at least. 

Riley, honestly, had always seemed kind of boring to him from afar. She was the classic, sweet, smart, teacher’s pet that no one really hated but only a few really liked. People called her a prude from time-to-time and Farkle had laughed because how could a girl who looked like that be a senior in high school and never had a boyfriend?

He’d always assumed she thought she was just better than everyone else, above all the drama of dating. Farkle had thought she was a snob.

But the way she’d kissed him like she was composed of raw energy and passion. Riley had made him breathless, like she was trying to kill him, like a siren dragging him down to the deepest depths of the ocean. 

Sparks, silk, and vibrant color.

That was Riley Matthews.

She was a warmth that Farkle had never fully had in his life. His mother was chiseled from ice, after all, and his father’s distance always left the whole penthouse cold. His friends helped, sure, but they’d always seemed separate from him. Like they were too far away to hear him through the static. 

But Riley was pure sunlight and solar flare, blinding him when he looked too closely but deathly to him when they were parted.

She was soft, something he’d always thought a weakness before. Only, the more kindness and forgiveness he saw Riley give without condition, the more he wished he could be capable of that. Maybe it was how he was raised but everything had a price, even made-up ideas like love, and Farkle was still sort of waiting to see what Riley’s play really was.

But she never demanded anything in return for giving him her time or energy. Even weeks ago, when she still couldn’t stand him, she had openly and easily offered her sympathy and understanding, her grace.

Grace that Farkle only understood enough to know it was undeserved.

She scared him, honestly. She was a wild card, an unpredictable element. But he couldn’t tear himself away anymore, had either lost the fight to or just didn’t care anymore.

Because kissing Riley had felt a little like drowning in a riptide…

And Farkle really didn’t want to think too much about that.

The next morning came with a sense of uncertainty for Farkle Minkus.

It had been a while since he'd been nervous about walking the halls of his school. Once upon a time, the anxiety of that simple act had been ingrained into his daily routine but it had been a few years since he'd been that boy. Being friends with Lucas and Zay, learning to not react, over time he'd just grown into... someone else.

Someone who was not necessarily more confident but just cared less?

Caring was effort and irrational. It screwed with his head and Farkle hated nothing more than being clouded. Scientists, realists, like him had to be clear-minded and unaffected by silly emotional ties. Besides, it looked positively exhausting to have as many feelings as most of his peers seemed to.

So, Farkle didn't usually care.

But this thing with Riley Matthews, well, he couldn't really help it.

Nervously glancing toward her locker, Farkle saw that she was nowhere in sight and felt both relieved and disappointed. He hadn't wanted to talk to her or anything, didn't want to seem desperate, but seeing her would have... not been unwelcomed.

The locker beside him slammed shut and started him, causing him to smack his forehead into the door of his own. Groaning and rubbing his brow, Farkle glared at a grinning Zay.

The other boy laughed, glancing over at their third musketeer, Lucas, "I think it's about time that our boy here admits he's smitten. What do you think, Lucas?"

The blonde boy smirked and rolled his eyes, "Sure, Zay."

"Kindly fuck off, would you?" Farkle asked, closing his locker and tugging at his hair. He glanced back at Riley's locker again. She was still not there. "I am not 'smitten'. This isn't the Roaring 20s."

His two friends looked at each other, eyebrows quirked. Looking back at Farkle, Lucas sighed, "You know it's okay to like a girl, right? Even Riley Matthews."

Farkle chuckled, "You make it sound like I've never dated before. Remember, I had a girlfriend for two years."

"So, you do want Riley to be your girlfriend?" Zay sang, knowingly.

The young genius clenched his jaw and rubbed the back of his neck, rolling his eyes, "I don't."

"Oh," The boy nodded, tapping their other friend on his arm. "I mean, I guess that's good for Lucas. Right, Lucas?"

Both Farkle and Lucas looked at Zay in confusion.

After a moment, a look of realization passed over Mr. Perfect's face and he cleared his throat, nodding, "Uh, yeah!"

"What?" Farkle asked, narrowing his eyes.

Lucas shrugged, "Well, Riley's pretty cool and since you don't like her, I was thinking about asking her out. You wouldn't mind, right?"

Of course, Farkle thought while digging his nails into his palms, Of fucking course, Lucas was interested in Riley.

It made sense, from a Darwinistic standpoint, for Lucas to be interested in Riley. They were both optimists, both bright and shiny people. Two supernovas, lighting up the galaxy together like Hera and Zeus, while he and Riley... they were opposites.

The only connection between them was the natural attraction of unlike forces; Farkle knew that. He knew that even something as bright as a quasar could be consumed if it passed too close to a black hole. He didn’t belong in Riley’s gravitational belt, but perhaps Lucas did.

Objectively, it made sense.

It was at least a hypothesis worth testing.

Still, ice pierced his chest because the idea of Riley Matthews with one of his best friends; it made his stomach curl. No, it made him want to punch Lucas, to sock him right in that Mr. Perfect smile of his until all that Southern Charm was long gone and moving on.

See how Lucas liked being beaten down for a change…

Confident, cold, uncaring; it was how his mother always played it and maybe Farkle was a bit more like her than he liked to admit. Unclenching his jaw and forcing his hands out of the fists they'd locked themselves into, Farkle shifted his book bag on his shoulder and shrugged.

"Do what you want, Lucas."

Farkle really wanted to punch his best friend... But he wished that he didn’t care at all even more.

Riley fiddled with her Breast cancer pink pen and tried desperately to focus on the AB Calculus equation before her. It was one of those problems that, between the formula and the proof, took up an entire notebook page. She had thought she'd solved it but her answer didn't match the textbook.

"Hey, Riley!"

The brunette turned her head up, smiling as Lucas Friar approached her desk. It was a work day and the teacher, Mrs. Armani, had left them to their own devices with the simple instructions of staying quiet.

Sitting up, Riley drummed her pen on her thigh, "Lucas!"

She guessed that they were friends now, right?

He was Farkle's best friend and since she had still managed to postpone speaking to the genius, she assumed that they were technically still ‘friends' as well. Riley tried not to think about the pathetic crush she’d had on the Texan back in freshman year, but her cheeks still tinted pink.

Lucas came to stand before her, glancing over his shoulder before setting his notebook down on her desk and leaning down, into her space. Startled, Riley jerked back and laughed, nervously, as the boy smiled at her.

“Sorry,” Lucas gave her back some space, resting his elbows on her desktop, “I just had a quick question.”

Eyebrows drawing together, Riley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Well, I mean, I can try to help but Farkle took AB last year s-“


“Not about Calc, Riley.” The boy smirked and Riley could feel herself blush. She wasn’t used to such direct attention from someone so, well, attractive. Besides, maybe Farkle… so not the time, Matthews.

Shifting in her seat, the brunette nodded, “Oh! Um, okay?”

Lucas licked his lips and sighed, looking over his shoulder again. Craning her neck a little, Riley could see Zay standing in the doorway of the classroom, gesturing wildly to his friend. Giggling, the girl narrowed her eyes as Lucas whirled back around to look at her, “What are you two up to?”

“Would you like to go out with me? Thursday night?” Lucas shot out, startling the poor girl for about the third time. Riley’s lips parted slightly, eyes widening in confusion. The Texan cleared his throat and slowly looked up to meet her warm, brown eyes, “It’s the start of the long weekend, so…”

Go out? With Lucas Friar?

At fifteen, Riley would have been staring at the boy, mouth open like a whale and a grin so big on her face it might have split it. She would have nodded and chanted ‘yes’ and walked on clouds for the rest of her life. She’d have gone home and doodled ‘Riley Friar’ until her notebook ran out of pages.

So, why did she feel nothing but dread at being asked now?

Because you wish it wasn’t him asking.

Swallowing, Riley bit her lip and gave Lucas an apologetic look, “I’m so sorry but I can’t. There’s just…” She glanced down at her fiddling hands and shrugged, “Something else going on?”

Lucas looked oddly relieved and nodded slowly, “Yeah! I get it, Riley. No problem! Just let me know if you happen to change your mind, okay?”


“Sure,” Riley agreed, smiling politely as Lucas made his way back across the classroom.

He was a very pretty boy…

But he didn’t make Riley’s heart race.

God, why couldn’t life just be nice and have Farkle ask her out instead?

The moment had come and Riley was still completely unprepared.

Stepping into the chemistry classroom seconds before the bell rang, the brunette was both relieved and disappointed to see Farkle already copying notes at their usual table. She felt a hand pat her back and gave Maya, who had a smug smirk on her face, a glare.

Making her way to her seat, Riley shakily set her textbook down on the table and glanced over at Farkle, “Minkus.”

The boy paused in his writing for just a second before continuing on as if she hadn’t spoken. Riley’s stomach rolled, the bundle of nerves in her gut making her eyes water. Taking a deep breath, she tried again, “Your weekend?”

Farkle shrugged, silently. He still hadn’t so much as looked at her. Fuck, fuck, fuck, why had she kissed him? Why, oh why?

Still, even if he didn’t like her, he could at least… talk to her? Right?

Riley started one last time, “I actually thought a lot during mine. About what happened last week… Or Friday night… Or between-“

“Matthews, I’m trying to work so that we can actually pass this assignment and get out of each other’s hair so would you please?” Farkle cut her off, finally dropping his pen to look right at her.

The girl swallowed hard, eyes burning. Get out of each other’s hair… But Riley really liked Farkle’s hair. She could remember gripping on to it and the feel of down feathers between her fingers as he took her lower lip into his mouth and clasped her hips.

Blinking and bewildered, Riley tried to keep herself calm.

Maybe this was just one of those mood swings Farkle always seemed to be getting into. Maybe he’d had a bad weekend at home. Maybe it wasn’t really her and it was just bad timing. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

“Planning on being a dead weight all period?” Farkle’s voice broke through the fog in her brain and made her snap to attention. He had finished copying the notes and was glaring at her blank paper.

“No!” She snapped, coming back to herself as irritation flared to life in her chest. “Planning on being a dick all period?”

“You’re right, Matthews,” The genius shot her a sarcastic smile with cold, icy blue eyes, “I am a dick but at least I don’t throw myself at someone and then run off the second a better offer comes along.”

Riley stared at him, dumbfounded. How did he even know about Lucas? And what did he mean ‘run off’ when she had turned the other boy down? And all in hopes that he would get the courage to ask her out himself, for fuck’s sake!

So, Farkle thought that little of her?

That she would kiss him and then go out with his best friend days later?

Well, fucking fine. He wants to be right about every damn thing? I’ll let him be right!

Biting her lip and glaring at her paper, Riley shook her head. Anger boiled in her blood and in that moment, she just wanted to make Farkle feel like shit for once. He did it so often to her, it only seemed fair.

Leveling her chin and checking to be sure Mr. Hudson wasn’t paying attention but Farkle was, Riley called lowly across the classroom, “Lucas!”

The boy, a few tables ahead of them, turned around questioningly. He glanced at his best friend, who sat tensely beside Riley, before quirking an eyebrow to the girl who’d summoned him.

Smiling in a way that looked painfully rehearsed, she said, “I changed my mind. I’d like to go out with you Thursday.” She glanced at Farkle from the corner of her eye and found him watching her with those cold, calculating eyes. “Turns out that ‘something else’ was really nothing.”

“Oh,” Lucas nodded slowly before grinning uncertainly, “Great.”

And with that, Riley Matthews began copying her notes down with a well-hidden sense of dread in the pit of her stomach and a quiver in her handwriting.

Changed her mind?

Changed her mind…

Changed her mind!

Farkle couldn’t get it out of his head. Riley had said she had ‘changed her mind’ and wanted to go out with Lucas.

Meaning that she’d originally turned Lucas down and Farkle had assumed the worst of her. 

Could he really be blamed for that? Most of the people he’d met only had the worst of themselves left; it had always been difficult to believe there was a human as fundamentally kind as Riley. So, he’d made an assumption based on past behaviors and solid reasoning and, yeah, he’d gotten it wrong but should that really cost him any chance at…

At what?

Because Farkle hadn’t been exactly lying that morning when Zay had asked him about Riley and used that word, girlfriend. Farkle didn’t want Riley Matthews to be his girlfriend; he didn’t have time or energy or motivation for a girlfriend.

He just knew he liked her. He just wanted to be with her and have her all to himself and kiss her like she’d kissed him on Friday. Completely different.

Not that it matters now, you asshole. A real stellar job there, Minkus.

While the ‘changed her mind’ part of Riley’s words had stung and made him want to sink into the Earth, it was the last thing she had said that really cut to the bone.

That ‘something else’ was really nothing.

Was… was he the ‘something else’? And subsequently, the nothing?

Had Riley actually, in some cruel twist of fate or destiny or whatever it was idiot’s believed in, had some kind of feelings for him and now she didn’t? Was that how feelings like this worked? One second you had them and the next you didn’t because you were offended? That didn’t sound right.

And that didn’t feel right, Farkle realized as he glanced over at a fuming Riley again. Riley had offended him too and he was still very… fuck it, smitten with her. Maybe…

But no, because Riley had said that he was ‘nothing’. His mother had told him that a few times after one too many glasses of wine. He’d documented it in his own notes, trying to prove his theory about being a living black hole. Farkle knew Riley was right, just like he knew he shouldn’t care and should stay rational and unemotional.

Only, Farkle still wanted to drown in Riley Matthews and he knew that wasn’t rational.

Aren’t these two just so fucking FRUSTRATING!?!?! Like, just bang guys, for real. Everyone wants ya to… Haha, anyway… I hope you guys like this update and are interested to see how this little triangle/totally-not-gonna-work date drama goes!