#also dw about my first answer to that ask. it never happened

[summerandfall]

Do you ever find yourself in a long-term relationship one day and can't agree on when your anniversary is?

Managed to make some reguri for pride month!

born from @sundaeserenade's ask: reguri love confession without explicitly saying the words "i love you" neither of them properly confessed to each other so they're not actually sure how long they've been dating, but eventually, they get engaged so that's the only anniversary they have to worry about for a while.

.// don't worry about all 3 images being vastly different styles, it's an artistic choice (it isn't)

alt sizes for mobile users:

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Innocence

Remus Lupin x f!reader

warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), fingering, slight hand job, virgin reader, purity ring 😮‍💨, making out, underage smoking, mention of underage drinking, slight innocence/ corruption kink, lmk if i missed any!

summary: remus learns the ring you wear everyday is called a purity ring, and he develops a strange obsession with it… and wanting to take it off you…

word count: 4.6k

a/n: guys.. dw there’s gonna b a part two but like omgggggg this made me feel so many things i’m in love with this. lmk what you think :) also i’m not religious so if any of this is not accurate i’m sorry lol it’s for the plot

part two is posted!!! here

~~~

Ever since he knew you, Remus noticed that one thing you always wore. It was plain, a simple gold band on your left ring finger, the marriage finger. Typically, such nonsense wouldn’t cross his mind twice, but you wore that ring damn ring every day. Since the first time he ever saw you, that ring was on your finger. He never saw you without it. So, his curiosity got the better of him.

Why would such a simple ring be so important that you never took it off? It couldn’t have been because you were married. No. You wore it even at the young age of eleven. Could it have been a family heirloom? That idea was plausible, however to him, it didn’t feel like the correct answer. And Remus Lupin always needed the correct answer.

So, he eventually decided to ask you.

During dinner one night, when you just so happened to be sitting next to him, his eyes caught sight of the ring and he eyed it suspiciously. You noticed this.

“Something wrong Rem?” You asked.

He looked up from the ring on your delicate finger to meet your confused eyes. “Why do you always wear that specific ring? And always on that finger? Is it special?”

“Oh.” You laughed for a few seconds. “Yeah, it’s stupid really, an old muggle tradition.” You composed yourself and looked up at him, a slight red tint to your cheeks. “It’s called a purity ring. Basically, I wear it as a reminder that I pledged to wait till marriage.”

Remus was confused, and he hated being confused. “Why would anyone wait till marriage?”

You shrugged. “Muggle religion is quite weird. They value keeping teenagers pure until they’re married. I think it’s stupid, but I still wear it.”

“So, you’ve done it but continue wearing it as a... symbol?” He questioned.

“Oh no, I haven’t done it. I might find it stupid, but I still plan to keep my promise. It’s sort of a nice accomplishment don’t you think? I’ve gone through two years of everyone shagging around me and I haven’t given in,” you answered.

He stared at you for a few seconds. You were still a virgin, and that ring was the reason. He thought for a moment. How could you be a virgin? He swore he had seen you go off with a bloke from Ravenclaw a few months ago during a party. But then as his eyes trailed over your small figure, he realized the idea wasn’t completely impossible. He’d never seen you with hickeys, he’d never seen you dress improperly, and he surely had never seen you enter the common room after a long night with someone. For some reason, it made a strange feeling bloom deep inside him.

“Surely you’ve at least done other stuff, right?”

You simply shook your head and took a bite from your sandwich. “Furthest I’ve ever gone is having some Ravenclaws tongue down my throat.”

Ah, so he was right about that.

“Besides, I don’t really even know much about any of that stuff. I mean I know biology, but that’s about it. And of course, what Marls and Mary tell me from their extravagant experiences,” you added after swallowing.

So that meant...

“You haven’t done anything?” He was surprised, it was clear in his tone.

“No need to sound so flabbergasted. Besides, why do you even care about what I’ve done? I always thought you were the modest type too,” you replied with an eye roll.

Remus looked away from you, and the urge to smirk took him over. He thought back to those countless nights over the summer breaks he’d spent with muggle girls. The feelings, the sounds, the tastes, all experiences he’d never forget. But by no means was Remus Lupin a player, oh no. He was nothing like his mate. However, he also wasn’t a saint like everyone painted him out to be.

“I may be modest but that doesn’t mean I’m a virgin,” he said after a moment, his eyes finally turned back to you. He liked the way you looked at him. “That went away a few summers ago.”

You smiled, though something about it was off, almost as if it were forced. “Well, cheers to that.”

“Cheers.” He nodded in agreement.

You turned back to the group conversation before he could say anything else.

~~~

Remus had thought after finding out what the ring's importance was, he would let it go and move on. Unfortunately, he had thought wrong. Ever since that conversation with you, he couldn’t get any of it off his mind. When he’d see you, he’d always look at your left hand, almost making sure that ring was still there. It always was. And for some reason it made him feel almost relieved. He needed more answers.

Thankfully, another opportunity came not too long after the first.

The two of you had been paired together in potions. Typically, he would be a bit upset with the fact given you were never the best in the subject. But for the first time, he was pleased with the pairing.

He watched as you cut up some of the ingredients, that stupid ring shining from the lights. Questions filled his head. Where had you gotten it? When did you get it? Who gave it to you? Did your parents know what it meant? What were you supposed to do with it when the time finally came? He needed to get the answers.

“So, when did you get it?” He casually asked his eyes on the cauldron.

“Get what?”

“The ring.”

You chuckled. “You’re still on about that? I suppose you aren’t too accustomed to muggle things. I got it right before I came here actually. My parents wanted to give me a reminder about life at home, and they wanted to make sure I knew where my ‘loyalties’ lay. Though, I was only a little girl. Did they expect anything to happen at that young?”

Three questions were answered. Good.

Remus dropped his chopped ingredients into the cauldron. “Does that mean you give it back to them when you finally do it?”

“Oh no. I give it to my husband of course,” you replied. “Do these look alright?”

He finally turned his head in your direction and looked over your cutting board then he met your eyes. “Perfect. You can put them in.”

“You don’t know how good that makes me feel to hear. Master of potions Remus Lupin says I’m perfect, I could faint,” you said as you scrapped your work into the cauldron, a hint of laughter in your voice.

He rolled his eyes. “I said your cutting was perfect, but if it makes you feel good, I suppose you are too.”

You looked up at him with a glint in your eyes that made an odd feeling form in his chest. You looked so damn innocent. How had he not noticed it before? You had always been one of the shyer members of Gryffindor, but he always brushed it off as nothing important. He never would’ve guessed just how innocent you were.

“How sweet of you.” You giggled.

“ ’Course, anytime love.”

He noticed the shift in your body at his words. How odd. You looked away from him for a few seconds, that familiar rose tint returning to your cheeks. Did you always do that? Did such simple words always make you blush and turn away? Or was it just him? He watched you bite down on your lip and fiddle with your ring.

You were teasing him.

It was then he decided he was going to get that ring from you.

And you were going to love it.

~~~

Getting you to that point was going to take some time, Remus knew that. But it didn’t stop him. He started simply. When the two of you were hanging out in the group, he made sure to at least say a few words to you alone. When eating meals, he made sure to get a spot next to you. Most importantly though, he started making sure to leave subtle hints. Lingering eye contact, small touches that weren’t necessary, comments that made your face turn red. He could tell all of it made you flustered, and he loved it.

During all of it, his obsession with your innocence only grew. He wanted to take it away. He wanted to taint you, to make you not so pure anymore. He didn’t understand the feeling, he never cared much for such stereotypical nonsense. But each time you looked at him with those curious, innocent eyes, it only made his patience strained.

The first breakthrough came during one of Sirius and James’s parties. The common room blared with music, and people laughed and danced. You were among them. Remus leaned against the wall next to the staircase to the boy's dorm, a cigarette between his lips as he watched you dance with Mary and Lily. Your smile was bright, your body moved to the rhythm almost perfectly. You wore a pretty little dress. But he couldn’t focus on any of that because that damn ring caught his attention.

It had become quite a distraction. He found himself staring at it far more than normal. During class and dinner, it consumed most of his thoughts. He needed to get it off your finger before it caused his grades to slip.

From across the room, your eyes suddenly found his. You gave him a questioning look; he only smirked back and released a cloud of smoke into the air. He watched you say something to the girls before you began to walk in his direction. Perfect.

“Why do you always stand on the sidelines?” You asked once you were close enough. “And if you’re going to stare at me all night you might as well just dance with me.”

He chuckled and took another drag from the cigarette. “I’m not the biggest fan of these parties and I definitely don’t dance.” He offered you the cigarette, and you shook your head and pointed to your ring. “Come on, that applies to cigs too?”

“And alcohol, pretty much whatever is considered sinful. Though, I have indulged in a drink or two. Mommy and Daddy don’t need to know about that,” you answered.

Merlin, he needed to do something with you. It was almost unbearable.

“You’re saying alcohol and cigs are sinful but intense snogging isn’t? Seems a bit hypocritical to me,” he eventually said.

You smiled and shrugged. “That’s muggle religion for you. It’s pretty much up to each person's interpretation and what they value. I value being sober more than refraining from a snog occasionally.”

“But a shag...”

“That’s universally seen as a big sin. Most of us would agree not to do it until marriage.”

He released another breath of smoke. “Most of you?”

“Well, not everyone agrees of course. Like I said, it’s technically up to everyone’s values. Murder is also considered a sin, you know. But even some people commit that,” you explained. He watched you blush. “I don’t think I should compare virginity to murder though.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a fair comparison,” he replied, his lips turned up into a smile.

You turned even more red. “Sorry. But you get what I’m saying, right?”

“Everything is optional is what you’re saying.” He let his eyes trail over your body, making sure you noticed. “So really, you could fuck someone before marriage.”

“I mean yeah, I could, but I don’t think I will,” you said. You began to fiddle with the ring again. “It’s sort of always been with me it would feel weird giving it to someone else.”

“Do you have to give it away for anything? Or just actual sex?” It was another question he’d been dying to know. He watched you think for a moment.

“I think just the full thing. I don’t know. I don’t even really know that much about it like I said when you first asked me. I mean, I know people use their hands and mouths but... sorry. I shouldn't be talking about such things.” You put your face in your hands, Remus couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sorry.”

He needed to do something. Now.

“Don’t be sorry love, it’s alright. You know you can trust me; I wouldn’t dare tell anyone about your sinful thoughts,” he spoke. He turned and dropped his cigarette into one of the many ashtrays in the common room. When he looked back at you, you were already looking at him. “But you know if you ever wanted to indulge in something like that, you can come to me.”

You were beyond flustered, and it showed. “Oh! That’s very um... generous of you, but I don’t think I’ll do any of that I mean... I don’t plan on it.”

He casually shrugged. “We all get a bit curious at some point in our lives.”

For a moment the two of you only stared at each other. He could tell exactly what you were thinking. You were curious. You wanted to try things. He observed you carefully. He could sense the conflict within you. Value versus desire. It was a tough battle, but you didn’t cave. At least, not yet.

“Perhaps, but I made a promise and I need to stick to it,” you said. You looked over your shoulder at your clearly intoxicated friends. “I should get back to Lily and Mary.”

“Right, it was nice talking,” he replied with a smile.

You nodded. “I’ll see you later.”

“Till then love.”

Even as you walked away and joined your friends once again, he could see the way his words affected you. You could deny the feelings all you wanted, but your body craved the unknown. It was only a matter of time till you caved, and Remus would wait.

He was never one to give up easily.

~~~

You came to him faster than he expected. He understood why though, you were on edge about all of it. In the few days it took for you to go to him, he noticed how different you acted. You were more tense, you fiddled with your ring far more than normal. He imagined the inner conflict you faced was stressful, but he was glad about the turnout of it.

After dinner, as he was walking to the library for a study group, you found him. He was a bit surprised at your approach, but nevertheless, he welcomed it with joy.

“Hey Remus, could I talk to you for a second?” You asked.

You were a bit behind him, but he stopped instantly and turned to face you.

“Yeah, what’s going on?”

Your little bit of confidence quickly vanished. You avoided his gaze, focusing suddenly on your shoes. “Um, are you busy? It’s not really that important so if you have something else to do it can wait.”

He fought the urge to smirk. “I was just going to Lily’s little study group, but it can wait. Is something wrong?”

You shook your head and looked up at him, those big innocent eyes staring into his. “No uh... nothing's wrong. It’s just about... well... you know.”

“About what?”

“You know...”

“I don’t think I do love, you’re gonna have to use your words and tell me.”

He felt bad for teasing you, but it was too fun not to. The way your cute little eyes looked around the hallway to make sure no one else was around, the way you fidgeted, it was far too entertaining to stop. A moment passed before you finally spoke in a much softer tone than before.

“It’s about what we talked about at the party last weekend.”

“Oh?” He questioned. “What about it?”

He watched as you slid the ring up and down your finger. “You said um if I ever wanted to you know, indulge, that I could come to you.”

“Yes, I did say that.”

“So... um yeah,” you said. You looked almost uncomfortable. He knew he needed to be nicer.

“Are you asking if that offer is still there?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes! I mean, um, is it?”

He glanced around to make sure nobody else was around before stepping closer to you. You looked up at him with wide eyes, your mouth parted ever so slightly. He touched his fingers to your chin, lifting your head gently.

“How about you come find out?”

You didn’t fight it. He was glad.

Not too long after that, Remus found himself in a position he’d desperately wanted for almost a month. You were laid out on his bed, open like a flower, and he was on top of you. Your robe, shirt, and tie were thrown to the floor. He kissed you hard, the reward of your gasps kept him going. He let one of his hands travel up your soft thigh, you were so warm, so inviting. It took all his self-control to keep him from moving too fast.

Before it began, you told him you had only ever snogged. That meant no boy had ever touched you. Not with a hand, not with his tongue, nothing. No one had ever even felt up your breasts. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t pleased with the information. He wanted you to be his, he wanted to be as many of your firsts as he could be.

“Can I touch you?” He eventually whispered on your skin; his lips were by your ear.

“Yes, please,” you replied, your breath ragged.

He continued to press soft kisses to your neck as his hand moved between your thighs. You were wet, very wet. He could feel it through your panties. It made him even harder than he already was. He slid his hand under your panties and began to rub soft circles on your clit, you gasped and lifted your hips in response.

You were perfect.

With every flick of his fingers, you let out little whimpers and moans, and one of your hands gripped his shoulder hard. He caught a few glances of your face between kisses. Your cheeks were red, your eyes squeezed shut. You were beyond beautiful.

After a few minutes, he moved his fingers down to your entrance. He made sure to collect your wetness and ask if it was alright before he began to slowly push one of his fingers inside you.

“Remus,” you mumbled as he started thrusting his finger in and out of you at a slow pace. “Fuck.”

“Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?” He asked.

You lightly shook your head. “It feels so good, do not stop.”

“Do you want another one?”

“Yes.”

He complied instantly and added a second finger. You responded just the way he wanted. In only a few more minutes he was fucking you with his fingers, touching that spot inside that made your thighs clench around him. He kissed you hard, he loved how you struggled to kiss him back. When he also began to press his thumb to your clit, you became a mess.

“Fuck Rem, I-” You paused, your nails dug into his shoulder.

“You’re close.” It was a statement; he could feel your walls clenching around his fingers. He knew you weren’t going to last much longer.

“I am,” you practically whimpered.

“Let go, love, it’s alright.”

Only seconds later you did. You came hard. Your back arched off the mattress, your mouth hung open wide, and your thighs tightened around his hips. Remus had never felt anything as good as the feeling of your walls pulsating around his fingers as you came undone beneath him. He made sure to keep going till you were fully done. At that point, he pulled his hand out of your panties and up to his lips. He knew you were going to taste good.

You sat up, breathless. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I just- you just- we just... I’m going to hell.”

“Relax, it’ll be fine. People do this all the time and nothing bad happens, I promise it’s just a normal thing,” he said. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, he thought you looked so beautiful. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about being judged or anything, I’m worried because I don’t feel guilty. I should feel guilty for it but I just... don’t. In fact, I think I...” You looked down at your hand, specifically the ring. “I think I want more.”

Remus couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his lips. “More?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s only right that I return the favor.” He watched your eyes move to his pants; your cheeks turned red. “You’ll have to show me how though.”

“Alright, only if, you’re sure. Don’t feel like you have to because I did something for you,” he replied though he really did want you to touch him. But he could wait if he had to.

“I want to.”

He didn’t question you further. Instead, he guided you through the process of getting him off with your hand. You were a fast learner, though the act itself wasn’t that hard to get the hang of. He found it funny the way you gasped at the size of him. Merlin, you were so innocent. Either way, you made him feel extraordinary. Your hand was much softer than his, and warmer too. You touched him gently, almost teasingly. But that changed fast.

“Can I try something else?” You asked, your hand stopped.

He almost groaned from the lack of motion. “What?”

“Um, can I try using my um...” You pointed to your lips.

“Your mouth?”

“Yeah.”

How could he ever refuse?

It was sloppy, it was rushed, but it was everything he could’ve wanted. As he laid back on the pillows, one of his hands moved through your soft hair. He didn’t dare push you. No. He only stroked your hair gently and whispered praises. He knew you liked it from the way you hummed on his cock each time he told you how good you were doing or how good you made him feel. And when you looked up at him with those eyes, those damn innocent eyes, he could barely contain himself.

He was shocked you even did it to begin with, but he was even more shocked when you let him finish in your mouth. You had him halfway down your throat when he came, and you didn’t pull away for a second. You swallowed it all. Somehow, he became even more attracted to you than he had been before.

“Was it good?” You questioned after you pulled back. You were kneeling beside his legs, a nervous expression on your face.

He smiled. “You were amazing. Are you sure you haven’t done that before?”

“Never even saw one in real life before this,” you replied with a laugh.

“That’s hard to believe,” he said. He sat up and pressed a kiss to your lips before pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. “Do you want to try one more thing?”

“Depends on what thing.”

“I’ll do what you just did to me but on you,” he answered, loving the way your eyes widened at his words. Despite everything that happened already, you were still so innocent. He adored it.

“Oh yeah okay,” you spoke after a moment.

He kissed you again. “Lay down.”

You did as he said and soon it began.

He started by kissing your lips while his hands pulled your skirt and panties off, leaving you only in a bra. Once those were off, he kissed down your neck, and your chest, only pausing for a second to unclip your bra and take one of your nipples in his mouth. You moaned, he stayed there for a few extra seconds. He then moved his mouth further down your body, relishing the sounds you made each time his lips made contact with your skin.

When he started to kiss up one of your thighs, you twitched. You were so sensitive, so untouched. He was obsessed with it. Every few kisses he sucked your skin to leave dark purple hickeys. He had made sure not to leave any on your skin that would be visible to the world so that no one would see the evidence of your sinful acts. But the skin that would be covered by clothing, that was his to mark.

A few minutes of this went by, and it was all on purpose. Remus could tell how eager you were for him to get on with it, but you were far too shy to tell him to do so. So, he didn’t dare touch you where you so desperately wanted him to. He wanted to hear you ask. But you said nothing, so he decided you needed a little push. He gave you one single lick then returned to your black and blue thighs.

“Remus,” you whispered. “Please.”

He looked up at you and almost felt bad. Your desperate eyes were already looking at him, he could tell how much you needed it. He didn’t wait any longer and gave you what you needed; you certainly earned it.

In all his experience with sex and everything surrounding it, Remus enjoyed pleasing his partner as anyone did. He didn’t mind going down on women, in fact, he sort of enjoyed it. At least until you. With you, he quickly realized having his head between your thighs and his tongue on your clit was not just alright, it was heavenly. He never enjoyed the taste of a girl like he enjoyed yours. You were sweet and the sounds you made as he played with you were their own type of reward.

So, it was no surprise how quickly you came undone on his tongue. He devoured you like he had been starving his whole life. Truthfully, he felt as if he had. You were spectacular. You were perfection. You were his. He was crazy about you.

After you finished, he wiped his mouth on one of your thighs before moving to lie on the bed next to you. He laid on his side facing you, his eyes examining your face. Your eyes were closed, and your cheeks were pink. Your hair was messy, and your lips were ever so slightly lifted into a smile. He swore he never saw anyone as beautiful in his life.

“I feel stupid,” you mumbled.

“Why?”

You opened your eyes and looked at him, your smile then undeniable. “I should’ve taken you up on your offer sooner. Now I understand why everyone’s so mad about this stuff, it’s unbelievable.”

“You don’t regret it then?” He asked.

“How could I? You’re just... Remus I...” You turned to your side to face him fully, one of your hands pressed against his chest. “I think we should do this again if you’d want to of course.”

He grinned and let a hand fall to your waist, he pulled you closer, so your bodies touched. He rested his chin on the top of your head, and you buried your face in his neck. For a moment he felt almost victorious, he had gotten you right where he wanted you to be. It would only be a matter of time before you let him take you fully. But then he realized, it wasn’t about taking your virginity so much anymore. He just wanted you.

“I wouldn’t want anything more,” he eventually said, then he pressed a kiss to your forehead, while the cold feeling of your ring on his chest lingered in the back of his mind.

Soon, it would be his. And so would you.

[luna-azzurra]

So I really enjoy your content, and I first want to thank you for all the work you do and all the ideas you manage to get. You are really hardworking and great

I also have a question to have but how to write a character with survivor guilt especially if they survived a killing game and they are the only survivor.

Of course you can take your time,or not answer this question if you want to dw!

(Also, sorry if my English is bad, it isn't my first language)

Thank you so much for your kind words. Really. :)

Now, your question. How to write a character with survivor’s guilt, especially one who survived something as traumatic and isolating as a killing game? That’s such a deep, meaningful topic, and I’m honestly really glad you asked.

Survivor’s guilt isn’t just grief. It’s something heavier, more tangled. It’s the feeling of carrying other people’s deaths on your back, people you cared about, or maybe people you didn’t know well but still feel responsible for. And when someone is the only survivor of something that awful, that weight can feel unbearable. It’s not just “why did I live?” but “why didn’t I die with them?” or even “did I deserve to live more than they did?” It becomes deeply personal.

One important thing to remember is that this kind of guilt doesn’t always look loud or dramatic. Sometimes it shows up quietly, in the way a character avoids looking at their reflection. In how they pause before laughing at something, and then don’t. In the way they isolate themselves, maybe even believing they should be alone. Because how do you go back to normal life when everyone you knew is dead and you're not?

Maybe they avoid people entirely, because being around others feels like cheating. Or maybe they do the opposite, they surround themselves with noise and distraction just to avoid silence, because silence makes room for the memories to creep in.

You can also explore how they handle being remembered as “the one who made it.” Sometimes, other people will look at them like a hero, and that can make them feel sick inside. Because they know the truth: that they were terrified, that maybe they made mistakes, that maybe someone died saving them and now they don’t know how to live with that.

They might not even want to be alive, but the fact that they are becomes this strange obligation, like now they have to do something with their life, or be worthy of the people who didn’t make it. That pressure can drive them into obsession, burnout, numbness, or even self-destructive behavior.

One thing I’ve found powerful in stories like this is giving them some kind of tether to their past. Maybe they carry an item from someone who died. Maybe they write letters to the people they lost—letters they never send. Maybe they talk to them out loud, or imagine what they would say in moments of doubt. That kind of thing gives the loss shape. It makes it more than just “they’re gone.” It turns grief into something personal and alive.

And healing doesn’t have to be fast or clean. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Maybe your character never stops feeling guilty, but they learn to live with the guilt, instead of letting it eat them alive. Maybe they meet someone who helps them say the names of the dead without breaking. Maybe they start to write down what happened, not for anyone else, but just to get it out. Maybe they do something kind for a stranger and realize they still have something left to give.

The best part about writing a character like this is that every little sign of hope, every choice they make to keep going, feels earned. And that can be so powerful for readers, especially readers who are grieving something themselves.

And hey, just to say it—your English is honestly great. :)

[cozymochi]

Hello hello, hope you're having a good day :DD

i wanted to know more about your OCs, more specifically, what Nyoka and Emilio were doing in Book 2 and Book 4?

Was Nyoka against Leona whole plan or didn't care? Was Emilio aware of Jamil's plans?

(thank u 🥺)

BOOK 2 NYOKA: Nyoka did not care (…p-positive). Leona just respects Nyoka’s space and vice versa, so whatever brouhaha Leona cooks up for #reasons, that’s none of Nyoka’s business as far as he’s concerned, but it was probably utterly brilliantly executed 👍 as expected from a Housewarden who truly embodies the spirit of the King of Beasts.

Nyoka is more of a benchwarmer for Spelldrive anyway (Disclaimer: Not out of lack of athleticism. He just does not want to do it.)

…Also he believes Leona can do no wrong ever. Nyoka may not have the same temperament as the majority of his dorm peers, but he does view Leona highly like the rest.

—

BOOK 4 EMILIO: WELL… refer to this post about his signature spell/unique magic first AND SINCE I CANT HYPERLINK FOR SOME REASON IT HAS TO GO RIGHT HERE all ugly:

On a random day, Kalim thought it would be quirky to ask Emilio if his upcoming winter break would be extra fun this year. Breaking the “1 question 1 answer, and no more” rule towards asking about his future.

And for something SO inconsequential and innocuous? How absurd and wasteful. But, anything for the beloved housewarden (<- sarcastic). Emilio does not care for Kalim that much, but he greatly prefers being in his favor for vanity reasons.

Kalim isn’t really too concerned about the future anyway, so this was just a fun thing to try out and super cool and based and etc.

Emilio saw one vague possible future where Kalim is acting out and winter break is rather chaotic as a result. Anything regarding the future with Emilio will only net him potential outcomes, but any one of them will happen. So no, no fun to be had, just turmoil. (Note: He does not see the definitive events of Book 4 itself. Just that Kalim will not “have fun” and that the turmoil involves him.)

Kalim finds the answer a bit unsettling but laughs it off ultimately. Good thing the future is never set in stone. He’ll just make sure to have a lot of fun anyway!

And Emilio, being a freaking fleeing coward, used that smidgeon of knowledge he learned + Kalim’s “flip flopping” behavior lately to determine that something bad was potentially about to occur to basically get permission to dip from school not long before winter break even started.

He went to the Headmage and lied about having a “dire family emergency” and that he just HAD to leave. Even used crocodile tears, a sob story and everything being the great actor he is (and Crowley orobably just relenting because bro was annoying and he’s just so kind and magnanimous… Also Emilio knows great vacation spots).

So the bastard wasn’t even there for the events of Book 4 at all. 💀 He was just chilling at home. (and doing absentee assignments.)

So, did Emilio know about Jamil’s plans? No. I’ll give it a no for specifics as he didn’t know it was Jamil behind Kalim’s behavior and was hypnotizing him. Just that things were not gonna be great during the break and he didn’t want to be there for whatever it was.

I’m too fatigued to draw a doodle for this portion. So it’s only wall of text and I can only hope my point was made. 😔 This is a REALLY OLD concept, tbh. And I’m not personally sure if I even jive with the outline. It’s less complicated than it looks written out. But it is very Estéban Elena of Avalor coded to be an asshole and abandon people to save his own skin so maybe I’m just being picky.

So you can only imagine bro coming back to Scarabia only to find everyone and their mom hates Jamil. (Dw Kalim fills him in later when he stages that dorm meeting we see a glimpse of in Book 5)

[deminetly]

𓏵 MAIN DR INTRO

extra posts for this dr:

ask game answers

my wardrobe

favourite posessions

my timetable

school moodboard

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

ABOUT THIS DR

set in 2012 in the country that I made up (more about it incoming)

its always the perfect weather (never too hot or cold/sunny or windy)

has such a good vibe, everything looks good (everything from buildings and cars to book covers and street signs)

there are many cool places such as abandoned houses and secret hangouts on hilltops all around and close to me, waiting to be explored

its totally normalised to take your pets anywhere (dogs dont exist tho..)

there are always cool concerts happening (scripted in a radiohead one too)

scripted in a restaurant and completely made up a menu for my taste (more about it incoming)

drunk driving is legal (also scripted safety dw)

people are always throwing fun parties that im invited to

everyone dresses up for halloween

nothing bad ever happens to me or my loved ones, no one dies

no one is too addicted to social media and would rather go out than stay in

smoking is healthy

────

ABOUT ME

name - demi (my cr name)

age of when i first shift - 16

mbti - enfp

traits - bold, whimsical, dreamy, creative, unique, interesting, fun, funny, open-minded, adventurous, silly, thoughtful, unhinged, deep, positive, cool, patient, wise, authentic, playful, confident, mysterious, strong, charming, rebellious, mature, unpredictable, honest

face claim - my cr self

voice claim - this song

hobbies - blogging, making short films, tattoo art, journaling, writing, parkour, learning guitar, singing, studying, urban exploring, tarot reading, watching movies, reading books

signature scent - vanilla

I have a pet monkey called hugo (nickname is huge)

I ALWAYS have my nails done (my best friend is a nail tech)

I live in a fairly small town

people often see me in their dreams

I have cool dreams every night and always remember them, sometimes they even predict real events

people often ask me to give them tarot readings because im slightly popular for giving super accurate predictions

my mostly black/dark brown eyes have a slight hint of purple in the sun and moonlight

I collect unique instruments and people are often gifting me new ones

my voice (especially singing voice) is so hauntingly beautiful and soft that it almost hypnotizes people

animals always come up to me, trust and love me

I always have something interesting to share (stories, fun facts, etc) and everyone is always interested in what I have to say

my presence feels dreamy and I have a whimsical, magical, almost mysterious vibe to me

my eyes are so dreamy that people often find themselves drowning in them

im always in my own world, everyone wonders what im thinking about

im such a free spirit and people love that about me

I always give the best, most thoughtful gifts

my lips look like a heart, they're plump and naturally dark

people are always approaching me or glazing back when I pass by, being mesmerized by me

my style is original and true to me

people enjoy my presence and pray to get put in my group at school

im really creative and always have super good ideas

im good with words, all of my sentences sound poetic and wise

I doodle on everything and it always looks good and unique

im always finding the best gems from thrift stores

I always have my nails done and they stay looking good for at least a month

my skin is pale and clear

I have skinny, long fingers with naturally long and strong nails

I blink slowly and softly

im a pretty private person, I never overshare but that makes people even more curious about me

im always comfortable no matter what im wearing or doing

my hair and makeup always look and feel good, even though i dont even need makeup to look good

everything looks good on me (clothes, makeup looks, hairstyles, etc)

im really photogenic and look good from all of the angles

i have a resting sad/wondering angelic face

i only attract people that want the best for me

i never embarras myself

people notice my absence and miss me when im gone

loads of people admire me and have (hallway) crushes on me

I never get caught doing anything bad

naturally super long lashes and slight vampire teeth that sometimes stick out of my lip

drugs are never bad to/for me in any way, no bad trips, only good experiences

people at school ask me to tattoo them in the bathrooms (there are never any problems caused by that)

────

RELATIONSHIPS

s/o

name - havent chosen yet

age - 19

mbti - enfp

zodiac sign - leo (23rd of july)

traits - open-minded, fun, funny, bold, direct, silly, understanding, protective, exiting, playful, thoughtful, loyal, emathetic, cool, patient, passionate, humble, mature, strong, honest, creative, clingy, manly, masculine, smart, honest, persuer, forgiving, good communicator, gentleman, respectful

parkour, skating, guitar, song writing, urban exploring

physical appearance - black buzzed hair, dark eyes, wears dark baggy clothes, has tattoos

has a slight russian accent

we met at school when he needed a muse for his painting class and chose me

best friend

pandora from skins link to her moodboard

────

VISUALS

vibe of this dr

my vibe

s/o’s vibe

best friends vibe

face claim

hair claim

nail claim

my room

hugo (my monkey)

[tvtoontime]

Hey I've seen that you've not been active recently, I like the comic so far, so I have a question why haven't you been active?

Sorry for not answering questions as of late! I have a few answered ones in my draft!

I DO APOLOGIZE IF THIS POST MAKES YOU FEEL UNEASY OR UNCOMFORTABLE. This post is mostly for anyone who’s curious about the lack of posts. I don’t need any comfort, compliments or reassurance, trust🫡.

(I’ve been meaning to talk about this topic in detail for a while but i know people get uncomfortable with this kind of negativity!)

“STRAIGHT FORWARD” ANSWER:

I’ve been a little less motivated to draw, thinking every drawing or comic isn’t worth looking at. Im not consistent with my art and want to change up everything if i’m not satisfied with it which makes it confusing for everyone else. Dandy’s design is a big example of that.. Lots of comparing comes into play too. I do NOT have a pretty art style what so ever. dgmw, It’s not meant to be pretty but i get embarrassed when I draw something that’s meant to be somewhat pleasing to the eyes but turns out cringy.(dandy & astro comic). There’s such pretty art out there and it feels like im destroying the beauty of the characters. I also feel like I disappoint others consistently since i have high expectations for myself. I want to improve faster and faster so i push myself. At this point i might’ve accidentally over done it. I took a break to see if that’d help things but when i came back there was a TON of negativity on tiktok.(where i started out) which also pushed me away further to draw since i liked seeing positive things about dandys world! I’m not giving up just yet, because i want to live my art and keep inspiring younger or even older artists to draw different angles and so much more!

(I will also point out, whenever I draw, it takes a lot of time. i am unfortunately a slow artist..sigh.💔)

MORE DETAILED ANSWER WITHIN:

TW: LOADS OF SELF NEGATIVITY & NEGLECT.

Let’s start from the top.

HAPPINESS?

Tiktok was where i started posting comics. (i never made a comic before, so that was my “first” time) All i really wanted to do was post relatable dw experiences for the fun of it.

I didn’t realize people would actually like a simplified, horribly colored, comic. Either way, I was having fun.

I got this really weird motivational high when others wanted more or the “next part”. i literally couldn’t fall asleep and wasn’t eating from all the thrill. I couldn’t tell if I was happy or really anxious from the attention.

I got a little afraid once i reached 10k or something like that. I didn’t have a story for the “AU” nor did i ever create one in my life. I couldn’t tell if people liked filler episodes or random episodes or if they really liked the lore/plot.(everyone was angry at qwel for not showing any lore so I got worried about that happening with me and wasting everyone’s time.)

GROWING GUILT.

At one point i took a break from the comic to create some silly little christmas special which,, i should have planned out beforehand. It felt like I made a promise to post every night for december like a christmas advent calendar(that was the plan basically).

Big mistake. I already had an insecurity/fear of disappointing others. I believed i could make these silly little shorts every night. I once again struggled to sleep and eat but this time from guilt that was growing. I finally called it quits on the 7th day(sad ik i only made it to 7 days lol) since a lot of people were concerned once i was late and i seriously didn’t want to concern anyone. I still had ideas but i couldn’t keep up with the days.

OVERWHELMING SUPPORT.

The support from the familiar faces was and still is overwhelming. Everyone was/is so nice and yet i still felt like i let everyone down? I felt like i needed to give more or try harder as thank you for supporting and being there and for treating me like a human being especially when other creators had people pushing them to make their comics. No one asked me to try harder but i felt/feel the need to push myself, or to make a better version each time.

I don’t know how to take compliments. A small thank you doesn’t feel like enough. I want to do MORE but I know I can’t.

TOOK A BREAK.

I didn’t want to take a break, but it was needed. I also needed to take advice from the familiar faces i saw because they were right. I thought I was ready to come back because, I had a story, had a plan to go at my own pace, say a simple thank you for the support, and move along. I also wanted to step out of my comfort zone and become one with the community. (Idk if this was such a good idea tbh LOL. I feel invasive like rodger or shelly.)

FANDOM NEGATIVITY.

I loved the community and how silly we all were back when it was growing. The way people portrayed the characters in their aus, created lore, ships and their names were creative, ocs, and so much more to create a somewhat healthy community. It was Dandy’s world’s prime time for me.

However,,, During March, All i saw was negativity.

No one was negative in my comments, however, whenever i went on tiktok, all it was, was(and still is) negativity. I’m not talking about slimetok or some shit hating on “us” and changing the “💔” emoji to a rotting flower, I’m talking about our OWN community hating on the new updates, hating on certain characters, on aus, on ships, hating on ANYTHING that helped create the community. Some of the community members are also something else. All of this negativity really killed my motivation(personal stuff too). Dgmw, people can have opinions, but holy shit? How much negativity are you gonna diarrhea out???????

We’ve got bigger problems in the world. I already know this! But we kind of need to be happy here and there or else we’ll all be depressed or some shit.(an escape basically.) Unfortunately I used DW to cope which is probably why i’m feeling sad about all of this negative change.

OVERTHINKING DISAPPOINTMENT.

Due to the popularity on tiktok, I felt as though i was disappointing those large amount of numbers. I do feel like i should only focus on the people who are “closer” to the account, but i’ve had another issue with that too. Anyone I feel closer to, I feel like they’re going to be more disappointed not only in the art but they’ll get bored with my personality too? I’m still trying my hardest not to care so much about disappointment but it’s been a little tricky.

Unfortunately I look at my art differently now, hating everything i post and judging myself too quickly. I spent over 150 hrs on the two long comics “Abc song” “Snowballs coming your way” or something like that, and despise them. I also disliked the gigi/flutter/looey comic even though that one had gained the most attention on tiktok.

THE POSITIVE…?

I’m still drawing/posting since people get inspired by the art/perspective and it still makes me feel worthy enough to continue the comic/drawing. I too want to like my art again, so i’m not giving up. also my little sister took my ipad for school projects so i can’t exactly draw much rn…🧍

[deanscherrypie69]

You left without saying goodbye |DW.|

♡Dean Winchester X Female Reader♡

♡Warnings: Mentions of Y/n picking up an alcohol addiction, no use of Y/n. (Maybe like twice) Langue and mentions of blood. 18+ pls minors DNI!!!!!♡ please do not post my fics anywhere else expect tumblr, you have been warned! Also most of this was written on my phone 😭

♡Feedback is appreciated! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!!!!♡

My inbox is open!

Dividers by: @cafekitsune !!!

A/N thank yall sm for the love and support on the first part of the fic! It means the world to me!!! And as yall requested. Part two! Pls don’t hate me it’s a long one so buckle up✋🏽🥲

Also Happy bday to Jensen!!! Love you v much!!🤠🤎

♡Part one♡

It had been three moths since that night with Dean, it had played over and over again in your mind when you went to sleep every night.

You swore you could feel his lips on yours, or the sounds he made when he was moving in and out of your body.

You hated it so much, you hated him. With his stupid eyes his pink lips you hated him.

But you took all of that rage out on, the monsters you’d hunt. Shooting them stabbing them. Anything you could think of.

You had come back from a bad werewolf hunt with Bobby, one of the wolfs clawed your abdomen trying to save Bobby.

So here you were nursing a bottle of whiskey as the old man stitched you up.

Oh yea and you forgot to mention you kind picked up a drinking habit over the last few months.

“Do you have a deal death with or something?” The old man asks as he threads your skink back together.

“No.” You hiss as he pulls the thread in and out of you.

“You’re not a very good lair.” He says grabbing the scissors to cut the string.

You raise your brow, “you aren’t a very good nurse either.” You say standing up. You grab stomach with a groan as you walk to the kitchen.

Bobby watches you struggle to walk away. He begins to clean the blood off his hands with a towel.

Bobby never bought it up because it was never any of his business. But. He cared about you a lot. You were like his daughter he’d never had have.

That day when he picked you up from the hotel. There was something wrong. You hadn't said anything to him about it since then. It has been three months and Bobby had grown curious.

Bobby takes a sigh and sits in his chair in front of his desk.

“What happened that I had to drive almost three hours out to pick you up from a motel?”

Bobby saw your body stiffen with the questions, he knew he had struck a nerve.

You grown and begin to walk up stairs, not wanting to answer his questions, “Good night Bobby.” You groan.

Bobby rolls his eyes “damn kid.”

This had been the worst sleep of your life by far. You couldn’t sleep you were up all night tossing and turning. You groan as you flick the covers off of your body.

You look over at the time on your alarm clock, it was almost 12 in the afternoon.

You groan and begin to rummage through your pile of clean clothes you had just washed.

“Please tell me you have coffee on and some painkillers.” You groan grabbing your stomach as you walk down the stairs

“I really could use some.” You say rubbing your eyes.

When Bobby didn’t say anything you remove your hands away from your eyes. And when you opened them you did not expect to see someone you haven’t seen in three months.

“Dean?” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You were angry.

You turn to the old man who was sitting across from him, “What the hell is he doing here?” You question, not looking over in Deans' direction.

“He’s here because he got a weird call, someone pretending to be Sam.” He says “just wanted to know if we got the call that’s all.”

You roll your eyes and clench your stomach, you don’t even look his way, he had left you after sharing an intimate moment, he left you vulnerable.

You scoff and walk over to the coffee pot, you poor yourself a cup, Bobby looks between you and Dean.

Dean had his eyes glued to your back, waiting for you to turn around and look at him. But you didn’t. He watched as you grab the painkillers from the top cabinet with a groan.

“I’ll be upstairs.” You mumble.

Bobby nods as he watches you carefully disappear upstairs.

���Are you gonna talk about it?” Bobby questions.

Dean huffs and leans back “nothing to talk about, just came here to see if you got that call that's all.”

Bobby let’s out a chuckle. “You came here to see if she was here.”

Bobby states.

Dean rolls his eyes. “No i didn’t,” Dean argues.

“Bullshit, something happened between you too.” Bobby says looking at the green eyed man.

Dean nods his head “it did but it was a mistake, we both were missing Sam.” Dean rubs a hand down his face.

Bobby cuts Dean off “Does she know that?” Bobby questions. “That girl has had a death wish for three months. I made her stop hunting, I don't know if you noticed, she has a pretty bad injury."

“Whatever you did you need too clear it up.” Bobby says.

Dean stands up from his chair “There’s nothing to clear cause nothing happened, it didn’t mean anything, not to me anyway.” Dean grabs his jacket.

Before Dean reached the front door he saw you at the bottom of the stairs, with your bloodied bandages that you had just switched out with new ones. In your hands

He didn’t miss the way the tears in your eyes welded up. He give you a small smile the exits the house,

“How much did you hear.”

You swallow hard, “Enough” you walk into the kitchen and shove the bandages in the trash. And once again you had disappeared up the stairs.

It has been three days since Dean had come. Bobby wasn't home, he hasn’t been home for a few days he was cleaning up a ghoul hunt in Ohio. You were left alone reading lore books. About monsters.

Your wound on your abdomen, still hurt like hell, you felt like it was keeping you from hunting and you hated it.

You were bought out of your thoughts when there was a frantic knock at the door, you carefully get up from your spot and make your way to the front door.

“Who is it” you say.

“Y/n? It’s Sam open the door.”

You raise your eyebrows.

“Thats impossible you’re in hell.”

You hear a loud sigh coming from the door, you watch as the bottom lock jiggles and then the door opens, it opens up enough to see the tall hunter standing in the door way.

“Sam?”

He rolls his eyes and squeezes past you, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell everybody.” He huffs closing the door behind him

“How.” You watch as the tall man makes his way through the house as if he was looking for someone? “Where’s Bobby?”

“Ghoul hunt.” You say watching him,

“Dean? Did he go with Bobby?”

You shake your head ‘no”

“I haven’t talked to him not really, not since-“

Sam nods at your words

“How did you-“ you point

Sam shrugs “I don’t know.” He chuckles. Sam stops and looks at you. “Give me your phone.” He says

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, reaching into your back pocket you fish out your phone, handing it to the tall man.

Sam smiles he clicks the screen a few times.

You sigh and walk past him, into the kitchen.

You listen as Sam mumbles a quick 'bye' into the phone.

Sam walks back to you handing you your phone, "Who'd you call?" You hum tucking your phone back into your pocket.

You had already knew the answer to that question. You didn’t even know why you asked.

Sam reaches beside you and opens the fridge, he reaches in and grabs two beers.

"Dean." He says handing you the bottle.

You don't say anything expect, you pop the top off and throw it into the sink. Sam sighs as he watches you knock back the beer in a few sips.

"Did something happen between you guys, when i called he thought it was you." Sam says.

You set the empty bottle down. "It did, but according to him, it didn't mean anything." You state. You take a shaky breath, "He left me, without saying goodbye Sam. I don't even know where he's been for the last three months."

Sam notices a tear slide down your cheek, "He's been playing house, with Lisa. Seems like when shit hits the fan he keeps going back to her."

"What?" Your voice was shaky. You don't remember anyone in Dean's life named Lisa. But then you rack through your brain.

"The dark-haired lady? With that kid named Ben?"

Sam nods.

You remembered them both, You three were working on a case when Dean had knocked at the door, and she had answered, it was her son's birthday.

"He was in love with her?" You question. Sam nods. "I guess he still is."

You sigh, you wondered if you were Dean's second option.

'I'm going to- take a nap." You say looking down at your watch.

Sam nods and rubs the small of your back,

Walking into the living room, you had grabbed a blanket that was. Draped over the back of an empty chair, you always liked sleeping on the cot Bobby had by the window, it was peaceful hearing the birds chirping, pulling the blanket up you quickly fall asleep.

it had felt like you were sleeping forever but that was until you felt someone shaking you.

Opening your eyes you see Sam, "Hey.” he says, “Bobby called, and told me you needed your bandages switched out."

You yawn and rub your eyes. Sam helps you sit up. You lift up your shirt with a wince.

He grabs the bandages that had been on Bobby's desk.

Sam pulls a chair up.

You had been hardly awake for that long when you heard the side door open. "Hey." Sam says not even looking in that direction, he had been placing the new bandages on you.

You knew who it was, you had been hoping. That he wouldn't had come tonight you didn't want to have to face him.

You watch and he walks in the room where you and Sam where, his eyes glued on you, he had a fresh beer in his hand.

Sam pats your leg motioning you pull down your shirt. "Thanks." You mumble. Sam smiles at you, he walks into the kitchen past Dean to wash his hands.

You pull the blanket back over your body.

Dean watches you stare out the window, it had remined him of that night- before he left.

He sits in the chair that Sam was just in. His beer resting between his legs. "Please go." You sniffle not wanting to look at him.

When Dean didn’t listen you turn to look at him, your breathing was harsh. You were mad.

The anger that you had built up for the past few months was just begging to come out.

“So Lisa huh?”

Dean opens and closes his mouth.

“Did you decide to go be with her before or after you fucked me!” You spat, throwing the blanket off your body you sit on the edge of the bed.

Your chest heaving up and down.

When Dean didn’t say anything you continue. “You left me Dean, you didn’t call you didn’t text, for all I could’ve know you could’ve died. But no you were playing house with some whore.” You spat

Dean licks his lips, “don’t talk about her like that.” He grumbles

You roll your eye, I’ll talk about her however I goddamn please.”

You and Dean stare at each other.

“Was it a mistake Dean?” You question.

Dean blinks a few times. He had forgotten you heard his and Bobby’s conversation.

Dean shakes his head, he had convinced himself it was a mistake the day he left you and went to Lisa.

But he knew deep down it wasn’t. If it was he wouldn’t have been the first one to kiss you.

“No, I thought about you everyday for three months when I left.” Dean was telling the truth weather or jot you decided to believe it or not.

He dreamed about you daily. He could still smell your perfume. He could hear you little moans. When he hit that sweet spot inside of you.

He didn’t know why he left he was scared.

Scared that maybe you would’ve regretted it too.

But it turns out, you were far from thinking that.

You scoff, “Bullshit.” You spat. “I was your second option Dean. You got your fix and left me. I’m nothing to you, and I never will be.”

Tears stream down your face, Wiping your hands doen your face you get up from your spot on the cot. “You Sam and Bobby don’t need me,” you say grabbing your jacket. You reach into on of the draws that Bobby have in the kitchen, it had sets of car keys in it.

You take a random one and walk out the door.

Dean chases after you.

“Y/n stop!” Dean shouts.

You had stopped in your tracks, you turn around to face Dean.

“I’m leaving Dean You can’t stop me.” You say.

You hit the car alarm on the key fob and one of the cars that were sitting in the lot begin to light up. Turning the alarm off you hop into the car.

Dean watches as you pull away in the car.

Something in the back of Dean’s mind told him to stop you. He wanted just to talk it over with you maybe. Just maybe it could have a different outcome.

It was just one big misunderstanding.

He watches as you pull out of the driveway.

Your car begins to move slowly. It was like you wanted to come back. But you kept driving.

Until. Another car coming from the opposite direction, came speeding down.

You tried to get out of the way but it was too late.

Dean watches as the car rams into yours with full speed.

“Y/n!” Dean shouts as he begins to run.

Dean ran, it felt like forever. When he reached the car you were in he sees your body hunched over. There was blood all over you face it was coming out of your ears and nose.

The wound on your stomach was open, there was so much blood, Dean had seen nothing like it.

This was not happening hew knew he should’ve stopped you. He should’ve stopped you.

He scoops your body up in his arms. He looks down at your face, your eyes begin to flutter open.

“I’m sorry-“ was all you say before it all went black.

“I’m gonna get you help sweetheart, you ain’t leaving me.” Dean says putting you in the back of the impala.

But Dean sees your eyes closed.

He was not going to let you die, not in his watch.

Fic tags: @emilyroxy @preciouscupcake @aylacavebear @suckitands33 @nescavaneck @rockstargal @star-yawnznn @constancelynn @deangirl96 @sacrosankta @tomorrowseverything @brightlilith

Thank you for all of the support!! Love you all!!!

[winniefrezcomics]

I got reminded of these when I saw a repost

A mini comic you drew a while ago shows Iris in jail with Perry talking to him through glass. Perry has a smile and is guessing what they charged him on in a joking manner, also based on the wording of Perry and Iris conversation it isn't the first time he has been arrested.

So I was wondering if there was a pacific event that did lead him to getting arrested and i'm so curious what Perry's reaction was to seeing or being told his boyfriend was arrested.

Sorrry this is so long I just love your AU! And character designs 💙💜 (*´ ˘ `*)

AWH TYSM!! 🥺💕❤️ dw i love long questions dbdbddhjd, ranting incomprehensibly abt my AU satiates the hyperfocus demons 😂😂

Tbh for a second I got confused bc I thought u were talking abt a doodle comic I never finished or posted, but then I remembered this magma doodle exists 😂😂

Dug that comic out to finish it for this ask too tho bc I lowkey forgot I was almost done w it ☠️☠️ ty for the reminder mwah mwah 😚

SO UH- I feel like in a human AU, it would only make sense for Irep to have an EXTENSIVE criminal record, starting even back in elementary school 😂😂

Infodump under cut- (Cw for incarceration, false imprisonment, and a VERY brief mention of child abuse at the end- spoiler: Iris rocks an abusers shit HARD and goes to prison for it but jokes on them bc Perry and Iris then adopt his daughter and give her the loving parents she deserves 💙💜)

Kid Iris probably got sent to Juvie a few times but never stayed long because his rich daddy would either bail him out or prevent him from being emitted entirely- same story for his teen years- as far as WHAT lands him in juvie/jail in his youth, the general answer is “doing whatever the fuck he wants and having no concern over the consequences” wheeze

Vandalism, fist-fights, petty theft, grand theft auto, trespassing, breaking and entering- that sort of thing- his parents will always forgive him, so Iris has VERY little forethought when it comes to what actions may lead to getting him in legal trouble ☠️

HOWEVER, once Iris turned 18 and was legally an adult, his dad had more trouble bailing him out every time, so he had to serve a few short sentences here and there, but just sort of got used to the pattern of “do whatever the fuck I want, serve jail time if the cops catch me, go back to doing whatever the fuck I want” 😂😂

Perry is never PLEASED to hear that Iris has been arrested again, but he’s also never surprised. usually Perry will either just sigh and reschedule thier upcoming dates, or if Iris has pissed him off recently, break up w him for the hundredth time only to inevitably take him back once Iris is released and stands outside his window w a boombox in the pouring rain or some other equally dramatic romantic gesture 😂

(Sidenote: I think another reason (anti) Cosmo starts to have trouble keeping Iris out of the hands of the law is that HE HIMSELF starts to get into hot water for stuff like tax fraud and embezzlement wheeze)

Unfortunately my friend you have activated my ANGST TRAP CARD w this one- check out below the cut for a huge infodump abt Iris’ Jailtime; specifically the worst ‘breakup’ he and Perry EVER had, that took them years to reconcile from! 🥰

His LONGEST sentence (the one where Perry LOST TRACK of him for multiple years) happened after Iris and Perry had a fight about Perry being “too boring” and “always trying to smooth down his edges” so they kind of sort of decide to go on a break, and Iris is too mad to even give his boyfriend a kiss goodbye (a decision he would come to regret for his ENTIRE LIFE).

Iris drags Sammy Sweetsparkle on an INSANE party binge in Tijuana or something- at some point losing track of Sammy, but deciding he’s having too much fun to stop now…. Only to end up taking the fall for a stranger in a HUGE drug bust of some kind, and getting thrown into a prison in MEXICO with NO SPANISH FLUENCY and no way to contact his friends and family back home ☠️☠️

Perry spends YEARS trying to find his boyfriend, losing weight, barley sleeping, and just generally making himself SICK with worry to the point that Timmy and his parents had to BEG HIM to just move on with his life, bc they couldn’t stand to see him wither away like that.

Despite having been dating thier son for multiple years, Perry actually didn’t have a very close relationship with Iris’s parents at the time, so even though at first he was constantly calling them for updates, by the time AC and AW actually FOUND thier son years later, they’re weren’t sure if Perry’s number was correct anymore, so when Wanda called Perry to excitedly tell him that they had FINALLY found Iris, unfortunately it’s TIMMY that happens to answer the phone.

Perry is staying with his brother for a short time to get back on his feet after finally giving up on finding his boyfriend and starting to apply for teaching jobs (something he got a college degree for but took a few years to pursue bc dating mid-20s Iris was a full time fuckin job tbh). Timmy is so glad that his brother is finally doing better, and, though secretly relived to hear Iris isn’t DEAD like Perry had been assuming, Timmy makes a hard (maaaaybe wrong as hell of him) decision… he tells Wanda she has the wrong number, and to never call again. 🙃

Lemme know if yall wanna hear about thier eventual reunion! Trust me, this peice makes it look WAY less traumatic and messy than it was 😬☠️ Iris basically does EVERYTHING WRONG HE POSSIBLY COULD HAVE to delay thier eventual reconciliation 😔

Iris serves one more long sentence AFTER he and Perry make up and start dating again, but the reason is actually a noble one this time, and iris turns himself in willingly to prove to Perry that he’s not a killer, and he IS trying to be better (Iris found out one of Perry’s students had a horrifically abusive father and beat him within an inch of his life 💙 they later adopted said student)

which I mention here only so that I can ALSO post this art of thier SECOND post-jail reunion, which is MUCH more joyful and sappy than the first sobs- thier daughter is definitely present for this, just so itty bitty she’s off-screen lmao

Ty for the question! I actually dug most of this infodump out of a discord server, but I’m glad to have it archived here now too uwu

[quietlyimplode]

ignite your bones

After the fall of General Dreykov, and the remnants of the Red Room still at large, Natasha first year at SHIELD is anything but healing. Labeled a traitor and a turncoat, Natasha tries to find her footing in a strange new world.

Whumptober 2024: Day 7 - unconventional weapon

Warnings: red room violence, child death, minors fighting,

Word Count: 2.1k (gif not mine - from @notahammer form this gifset- I hope it’s okay that it’s borrowed)

Summary: Natasha tells a story of her past.

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

A/N: this one delves into Natasha’s past, it’s not a happy chapter and sits heavier. Also, thank you for all the comments on the last chapter - I will reply to them - also dw in this house we love Maria Hill (she just has some distrust to work through) <3

.

Dostoevsky sits on the table and Natasha wonders at Maria’s choice of Crime and Punishment.

A Russian author and a title that mirrors herself seems a little too on the nose.

She appreciates the gesture though.

She didn’t know what had happened in the day between Maria seemingly wanting to torture her for information, to not asking her questions at all.

Debrief hadn’t touched on Odessa, but instead moved to code words and languages.

This she could easily talk on.

This was something she gave up readily.

She appreciated the reprieve.

Clint had returned to find her and Maria eating breakfast in her cell, as they had done for the three days prior. The mood more comfortable than the first time and, seeing Clint, she had smiled a genuine smile. She’d missed him.

With Clint back, he would resume the role of handler, changing the routine once again.

Whilst Natasha would miss the fresh air of the morning shooting range with Maria, she prefers Clint and the safety that his presence entails.

Will the debrief continue to avoid Odessa?

She’s sure Maria told him what had happened.

For now her voice had been heard, when she said that she couldn’t talk about it. But she’s not ready to trust they’ll avoid it forever, especially when she feels it could be used against her.

Today’s debrief looms.

Clint glances down at her in the elevator, catching her eye and smiles.

As usual, they enter the small office and sit with the two way mirror on the left.

He hands her two pictures.

Natasha’s blood runs cold.

“Who is that?”

The woman in the picture on the left has her black hair pinned back.

Memories flash.

“Stand straight.”

“Again.”

“Widows are marble.”

“You will not break.”

There’s a taste of poison in Natasha’s mouth and she wants to spit.

“Um,” she says swallowing, “she runs the widows. Trains them. Keeps the girls in line.”

She moves her hands under the table, clenching hard to keep herself present.

“What do you know of her?”

Clint asks the question slowly, like he knows what it will cost.

“The trial of the silent knife.”

Natasha doesn’t want to talk about this.

She looks at the second picture.

The branding mark embossed on skin.

“What is the trial of the silent knife?”

Natasha forces herself to calm. Forces air in her lungs and her mind to clear, even as images assault her, the cut of the knife and scar on her calf glisten.

“How did you learn to fight?” she asks, voice low.

Clint smiles easily.

“Back yard fights with my brother. My father, school, the military. You could say my learning was… eclectic.”

Natasha hears him in what he doesn’t say.

“How do you think I learned?”

Clint doesn’t answer straight away.

A question he’s likely never considered.

She sighs.

“We are trained in very specific ways. Ways to make prepubescent bodies strong. Running in mountains, strength training, exercises in multiple martial arts by different teachers. Each with their own style of reward and punishment.”

Natasha considers the questions about the woman and wonders where to start.

“Once we reached a certain age, the skills we learnt were tested.”

She knows he wants to ask more.

“I was 8.”

“The trial of the silent knife is the test.”

.

Natasha stands with the other girls.

She feels excited, adrenaline running through her body, as she wants to show her skills.

She feels ready.

The other girls look cocky. No one looks scared except Sasha, who always looks like she’s going to wet herself.

Natasha’s not sure how she hasn’t been kicked out yet.

There had been other girls who’d left. Bed empty after being injured, or crying, or talking back in ways that, even to Natasha, had felt rude.

The wind is cold. Though the ice has melted the world still holds a chill.

They’d been to this clearing before, fought here before, and Natasha was accustomed to fighting bare footed and without weapons.

“Line up,” the command comes.

The girls do as ordered.

Natasha exchanges looks with Freya, her friend looking determined and fierce.

She notes her friend’s bravery and uses it to calm her own fluttering heart.

It’s different today and they all know.

The twenty four girls are made to spar, lightly until they’re warmed up, going through the motions of hitting and being hit.

Four adults stand to her left, and she sees Madam and Dreykov standing behind them.

Her body feels cold, fear of both of them allowing one of the girls to sweep her legs.

She falls heavily.

Helped up, she whispers to her what she saw, and the message gets passed down the line.

Natasha often feels targeted by the two adults. They stare at her and she feels frustrated at the higher standard she’s seemingly held to.

She stands straighter as the round ends and they’re lined up again.

Now separated, they stand on either side of two lines marked in the dirt.

The adults move closer and Madam claps twice.

The girls stand straighter, eyes forward just as they’ve been trained.

“This is a test,” she announces. “You will fight until one of you wins.”

She walks between the lines to look at all of the girls.

“How you do that is up to you. You will be marked on how you do this. This will be done in silence. You must not scream, or cry or ask for help. Once in the arena, you are on your own. No one will help you except yourself.”

Natasha’s nerves rise.

She’s glad she’s not at the front of the line.

Briselle, one of the older girls, steps forward; her opponent is Sasha.

Natasha knows the outcome before they even fight.

A single knife is thrown in the middle of the arena.

Madam steps forward and Dreykov and the other four sit on chairs set up for them.

The girls sit along the outside, still in their lines, legs tucked under, fists on top of knees.

Briselle smiles as Sasha lunges for the knife.

She lets her pick it up and then kicks out at her.

Sasha moves back, using her momentum to feint left and swipe right.

The knife passes close to Brisselle’s neck.

The shock on her face pronounced, as Sasha presses her advantage.

Natasha had fought Sasha before. When Sasha was scared, she became desperate.

Briselle shouldn’t underestimate her, just because she looks like a scared little girl.

Briselle kicks out and makes contact with Sasha’s chest.

The kick is clearly winding, as Sasha gasps, her fist tightening harder around the knife. Brisselle presses the advantage, throwing another kick at her prone body on the floor. Sasha scrambles up, blocking it with her forearms, grabbing at a leg and attempting a throw without conviction.

Briselle’s weight seems an advantage as she holds her ground, her held foot flips up, catching Sasha under the chin.

The girl’s body sprawls, knife flying from her hand.

Briselle picks it up, kicks her and points it at her neck.

“Until one of you wins,” Madam reminds.

Briselle’s smile falters.

She doesn’t know what that means; but Sasha seems to. The crack of Briselle’s leg is loud, she shouts in pain. Sasha’s movements are quick. The first cut along her thighs and the second along her neck. Bloor pours from the wounds.

Natasha looks on in shock.

Sasha’s desperation to win had come at the cost of Briselle’s life.

The girl was dying in front of them.

Natasha feels sick.

An adult that Natasha doesn’t know pulls Briselle’s broken, gasping body away. Sasha looks at her bloody hands and is ordered by Madam to line up.

The girls hear a gunshot and all know what it means.

Sasha’s eyes go wide as she watches, her mouth opening with an outward breath. Tears leak from her eyes.

Two girls look wildly around and cry out.

Natasha’s head doesn’t move, but her eyes scan the other girls, some of whom were also crying, their predicament clear now. The years of training culminating in this.

The next two opponents stand, legs shaking, fear on their faces.

“Fight.”

Madam’s voice breaks the silence.

An endless minute seems to pass before one of the girls lunges for the knife.

The fight is short.

Clearly overpowered, the younger girl sobs as the other girl cries that she’s sorry.

The arena is bloody by the time it is Natasha’s turn. She rises on heels but doesn’t look at the girl in front of her. She knows her, but in those moments, she knows that she cannot acknowledge her.

“Fight.”

The knife is the obvious play, but the other girl is taller and reaches it quicker.

Natasha runs through the knife defenses, anticipating the lunge forward. She sidesteps, bending the girl’s wrist, and using her momentum against her. The angle of the wrist weakens her hold onto the knife and it drops to the bloody floor.

She kicks it out of the way, and slaps her heavily, knowing if she punches she’d hurt herself.

Her palm stings.

Avoiding the next punch, then kick, Natasha fights back, returning with a kick to the girl’s head.

It hits with a resounding thud.

The girl stumbles back, tripping on the knife.

Natasha lunges for it and the girl wrestles her for it.

Then arms back, the girl reaches for something that Natasha can’t see.

Natasha grabs the knife, but a rock smacks her in the head.

Natasha collapses.

Dazed, Natasha's vision blurs. She feels the girl climb on top of her, raising the rock again, readying to hit Natasha a second time.

But Natasha’s holding the knife upward between them, and as the girl leans forward it sticks between her ribs, killing her with a quiet “oh”.

The rock drops.

The unconventional weapon falling next to Natasha’s head as she huffs breaths.

Panic.

She has no thoughts in her head as she’s told to stand, her opponent dragged back.

Blood drips from her forehead and she touches it blankly.

The rest of the battles finish without Natasha registering who is still alive.

All she can think of is the knife pushing into the girl’s body.

Her chest feels so tight. Only the slightest amount of air seems to break through.

Her hands shake and she sits on them to hide it.

Natasha wants nothing more than to be left alone.

The knife.

She focuses herself by biting the inside of her mouth.

Her head hurts.

Still bleeding, she blinks it away from her eyes.

Madam stands in front of them.

“Do you know why it’s the silent knife?” Madam asks, picking the weapon up.

Twelve girls, bloody and bruised and traumatised, stare into space.

The four adults stand, Dreykov in front of them.

“You are part of the Red Room. Silent killers. You must know how to kill; friends, family, foe.”

She paces.

Placing a knife in front of each of them, Madam motions to it.

“You have passed this test. From now on, this knife is yours. Your right to own. From now on, the training will only get harder.”

Natasha eyes the bloody knife in front of her.

Sniffing, and wiping her face, she decides it was a friend and not a foe.

She picks it up cleans it with her clothing.

.

Clint sits back, his heart hurting at her story.

“Once we passed, we had to mark ourselves. The first kill. The mark, the one you see there, that’s the brand. That woman was a widow.”

She bites her lip.

She hates the story.

Telling it felt like it was someone’s else’s story.

“Can, uh, can we stop?”

Clint nods, not asking any more questions.

She’s sure it’s been recorded, but in that moment she doesn’t care. She wants to return to her cell. In that moment feeling, more than ever, like she belongs in one.

She’s made peace with most of her other kills.

But that first one…

Natasha clenches her fists and lets them go in time with her breathing.

She just feels old and tired.

.

[ateez-himari]

hi bb!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you so so so so much you don't even know😭😭 I know you missed me and my annoying questions hehehe(jk you're too cool to miss me)before I ask any questions........I hope you've been resting well,and that you're staying hydrated and eating well(I feel like an Asian mom when I say that) and how have you been lately?and good things happening and did your tattoo fully heal(I don't know anything about tattoos so please spare me😔😔) okay too much emotion now to the actual questions cause I haven't asked you any in like 3 weeks or something

1-ehm ehm(clears throat since I haven't talked in a long time) this is a question I've been meaning to ask for a long time and that is was your first love interest for hima gonna be any other idol than the ones she's dated,like was it going to be someone entirely different or were you always set on these choices?

2- are there any actors who have a crush on hima?like they don't have to say it publicly or something but maybe they've hinted at it? Maybe one of her costars has🫣🫣🫣

3- has hima acted in any dramas this year? And if so did she attend interviews and stuff like that?

4-Was hima invited to the gala🫣🫣if she was I know she'd eat it uppp. And maybe we can get some scoups and Mimi crumbs(as well as Jennie and Mimi)

5-last question I promise😭😭has hima tried to do those silly TikTok trends with mingi?like the ribbon one and those theories and stuff.

I love you so much bb!!!take care of yourself for me💓💓😽

OMG MY SWEET YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS TO SEE THAT LITTLE BLUE '1' NEXT TO MY INBOX 😭 (Ermh excuse me I will NEVER be too cool for you, although I'm VERY VERY cool). I've been very well! Uni ended a bit ago so now I'm just resting and reading up on some upper year textbooks to get ahead. Unfortunately though my left wrist is wrapped up because I fcked it up during work and now it hurts badly 🥲 I'm eating very well! Drinking too! Resting is debatable because I've struggled with sleep lately (I usually do every few months dw). My tattoo actually healed a long time ago but I forget that I have it...I'll turn around before or after a shower, see it in the mirror and it almost scares the crap out of me sometimes. I'M SO EXCITEDDDDDD YOU ALWAYS ASK THE BEST QUESTIONS, TO THE ANSWERS 🩷.🩷

• There was actually so much back and forth when it came to our baby's love interests and while dating Mingyu was always planned in some way, ending up with Mingi was kind of a last minute decision when I launched the blog. Seeing as Hima had barely any friends from school and was not yet social enough to go meet people on her own, at least one of the '97 liners was a logical choice since Jungkook would have had her around them quite often, but I didn't think of her dating Eunwoo at first. So many idols went through my mind like Oneus' Leedo, The Boyz' Eric or Juyeon and even Seventeen's Dino, but eventually Eunwoo made more sense to me (also seeing him in Island was my last straw-). Jungkook crossed my mind for a second but I decided that they were much better off as best friends. In Ateez though Yunho and San were huge contenders before I settled on Mingi

• Hima is somewhat young compared to most people in the acting industry but an actor's hinted at not only meeting with her frequently for work but also having some kind of crush on her [drumroll] Byeon Woo Seok! Yunho MAY have gotten some butterflies in his stomach when the two of them had to film their kissing scene in Where We Fall...but he quickly reminded himself that she's his best friend's girlfriend. Lee Do Hyun stared slightly too long every time they had a scene together, but in truth it was just shocking to see her in person. Hima has a lot of feline features, cat-like eyes, little fangs, even her mouth shape is similar to a cat's (and of course those tiger scars) which don't always make themselves obvious on screens

• SO the only dramas Hima has acted in so far are Hellbound (2021) & Where We Fall (2023), but there's a project that has been in the works for some time involving T.O.P and her as the main -enemies - characters 🫣 (I've written the storyline several times so that it wouldn't fall into the whole cringy mafia plotline hole and am still in the process of reworking that, but I CAN tell you that at some point she gets choked so-). The titles I have in the works so far are 'Bleed For Me' and 'Won't You Die' but they'll very likely change to something more nuanced

• The way reading this question actually shocked me because I was in the middle of brainstorming something for the met gala article I'm writing...ANYWAY aside from your somehow fortune telling brain, Himari is Donatella's baby, her precious tiger cub, the light of her career, her Princess, there was absolutely no way this woman was going to let the Met Gala pass by without her on the carpet. I'm still thinking up some interactions (deciding to send her to the Met was a very last minute decision so I don't have much prepared yet) but I can tell you that even our naturally anxious Mingi feels more relaxed knowing that S.Coups is going to be with her.

Mingi knows they slept together a few times but he doesn't really care because not only does he trust his girlfriend, but he's come around to trusting S.Coups too. The older idol's also been very protective of Hima since the beginning and it's become a habit of his to place his hand on her lower back in case he needs to avoid someone with bad intentions or just to lead her in the right direction - she gets lost easily. The Met is going to be very stimulating noise-wise, so S.Coups is going to play a huge role in anchoring the maknae, which is why they were arranged to arrive in the same car despite being from different groups and brands. S.Coups knew this and prepared well in order to support her fully ; he learned more sign language, learned to work her hearing aid just in case, watched a lot of fan made videos breaking down her body language in noisy environments and even met with Mingi many times to learn how to care for her in these situations. Himari didn't know about this because she'd feel like she was burdening the leader in such an incredible moment, so everyone kept it a secret from her. The last thing I can tell you for their interactions (for now) is that it's the only time that Mingi has agreed to someone holding his girlfriend's hand for so long, because both men figured that not only would it be safer for her, but it would also help her focus on something other than the constant pressure in her non-hearing ear

• Hima has been working a lot this year ; producing for other idols, touring, releasing 'Sungyo' and 'Veil of Tears' with Sleep Token, doing university work along with other side projects so she hasn't really been keeping up with trends. Our mochi couple has also been staying offline lately because they want to spend as much time as possible away from public eyes to finally get a break and be as normal as they can be. Her kids however (BOYNEXTDOOR and Xikers) have been dragging their senior through at least half of their tiktoks because they're not sure when they'll get to spend time with her again, so they want to make the most of it. It's mostly dance challenges but Xikers have managed to make her do the ribbon trend (she in fact did not break it but they still posted it....) and BND dragged her into the 'I make the face, you make the sound'

......

UPDATE ON THE MET GALA ; As I'm writing this I was checking Twitter every few seconds and S.COUPS OH MY GOD FKEWKFJWE SCRUMPTIOUS. SEXINESS OF THE 30S INDEED (he's the second member of my bias line in case it wasn't already obvious...) I NEED ME AN OLDER MAN. HE'S GIVING OFF YAKUZA BOSS VIBES, LIKE...THE WISE, CALM, EXPERIENCED LEADER YOU KNOW?? I CAN'T OMG SOMEONE SEDATE ME. Anyway so in terms of interactions though here's what I can give you real time (ish) ;

Instead of getting into the car right away like the other celebrities he waited near the open door and watched Hima step out and take pictures (right after him). Like the absolute gentleman of a DIL - the voices, sorry - diligent leader that he is, he helped her get into the car and even stepped behind her to cover her back just in case. In the car he put his jacket over her to make sure she was warm

I love you so much more my sweet!!! 🥰🩷 I hope you've been doing well these days and that you're taking very good care of yourself! MWWWAAHHH 😘

[spacecatdraws]

welcome aboard!

We go by many names, but you can just call us Cosmo or Void if you don’t know who you’re referring to!

If this is your first time seeing me or my blog, then hello! Please make yourself at home. If you’re a returning astronaut, welcome back! Glad to have you with us.

DNI: Transphobes, Homophobes, Sexists, Racists, Nazis, Religious Discriminators, any flavor of bigot, NSFT/NSFW, Anti-furry, Anti-Therian, Syscourse, and anyone with the intent to hurt me, my friends, or anyone. Be polite y’all.

I won’t state my exact age, but I am a minor. I will sometimes reblog posts with a suggestive joke or theme, but I will never post or reblog anything explicit. Please do not tag me in or send me anything NSFW. I have several mental disabilities, including depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Please be patient with me!

If you’re respectful with your criticism, feel free to send it my way. I am in no way perfect, but I would always like to improve. If you just send random insults, I will not take it seriously, and you will be ignored or giggled at. If you’re being hateful to me or anyone else, I will personally throw you out the nearest airlock and block you.

QUICKFIRE Q&A:

Can I draw you/your characters? Yes, and I will be extremely flattered.

What are your pronouns? All of them.

Why are you like this? I dunno man.

Thoughts on [thing]? As long as it doesn’t hurt others or yourself, I’m fine with it. This is a safe space.

Is your cat just purple Gnarpy?/Is your cat named after Cosmo from DW? No. Please stop asking.

Can you draw me something? Yes, and I will be incredibly honored to do so.

What’s your real name?/How old are you?/Can I have your number? I’m not answering that.

Is there anything else I should know before I interact with you? I am prone to rambling and making little sense. If I respond to something with a wall of text, I’m not upset or anything, just bad at paragraph breaks. I will also use tone tags if I feel it’s appropriate.

More information below the cut, in case you want to know about us for some reason

EXTRA INFO

We are a system, please be patient if one or more of us is confused or doesn’t remember something said prior. Sometimes new members (fictives mostly) will drop in. Most of the time, they stay dormant, though.

Main Members:

Void - 🌓 - Collective - All pronouns - The hazy amalgam that we default to. We’re not sure why this happens either.

Nyx - 🌙 - Host - She/They/Xe - Tends to be the one up front. Main artist of the group. Human looking thing.

Cosmo - 🪐 - Secondary Host - They/Them - The one who runs this blog. Cat-like alien critter who thrives on creativity and curiosity. The Pipe Wanderer.

Comet - 🐾 - Companion - She/Her - An optimistic Maine Coon. Tuxedo pattern with green eyes. Loves exploring and learning about the world.

Lumi - ✨ - Nightwatcher - He/They/It - Tends to be anxious or worried about things, and acts like a warning when one of the others is about to do something dumb. Lunate Zale Moth, specifically an adult male. Loves stargazing and tea.

Incandescent - 🔥 - Guardian/Caretaker - She/It - Can and will kick people’s ass if they’re messing with the system. Tends to stick to verbal intimidation, though, to keep the other members out of potential trouble. Rust colored deinonychus, mostly goes by Indie.

Heron - 🌊 - Comforter - She/Her - Just wants everyone to be okay. Water dragon, and adores the ocean and waves in general. Tends to worry about relationships with others, especially if it’s a close friend or family member.

Xero - ☀️ - Researcher - Xe/It - Tries to figure out how all of this works. Angel, but not in any religious sense. Very sweet, and tends to spend xyr free time helping out and solving problems.

Null - 🌑 - Amplifier - It/Its - Shapeshifting creature of shadows and darkness that dislikes being stuck in one form. Doesn’t front as much as they stay behind the scenes, using their power and energy to boost the head mate that’s fronting. Writes poems to recount their experiences.

The Fictives - Changes with hyperfixations. Feel free to send an ask to check who’s hanging out. All fictives so far: Seek (DOORS - 👁️), Figure (DOORS - 📚), Goob (Dandy’s World - 🧸), Gigi (Dandy’s World - 🎰), The Goose - (Untitled Goose Game - 🪿), and Leviathan - (Nova Drift - 💫)

Communities and Fandoms and Interests, oh my!

Therian

Furry

DOORS

Dandy’s World

Nova Drift

ULTRAKILL

Regretevator

Pressure

Payday 2

Marine Biology

Murder Drones

The Amazing Digital Circus

SCP Foundation

Wings of Fire

+others I can’t remember off the top of my head

Tags:

#space rambles: general talking tag

#the pipe wanderer: engaging with moots

#spaceship terminal message: ask

#space cat does in fact draw: art

#cosmo lore: facts about me

#serious shit: heavier content

#spaceship travels: pictures from my adventures

System Specific Tags:

no tag: Void

#the night speaks: Nyx

#the space cat: Cosmo

#the stray meows: Comet

#the moth flutters: Lumi

#the raptor roars: Indie

#the dragon flies: Heron

#the angel chirps: Xero

#the abyss calls: Null

#null’s poems: you can probably figure this tag out on your own

Thank you for choosing to fly with me! Please put on your seatbelts while we’re leaving the local orbit- there will be turbulence. And most importantly, have fun!

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Three

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes) word count: 3.4k a/n: thank you so much for the love on this series!! just letting y'all know it's gonna be a slow burn so it's gonna be quite the long series. also made this chapter a bit longer so pls lmk if you like the longer chapters. things will get more exciting from here dw. love you all <3

pov: layla

I was planning on staying at school the whole day, I truly was. But when I felt more eyes on me than usual and murmurs surrounded me with every step I took, I decided I didn't have the energy to endure the whole day. I would skip my next two lessons and come back after lunch, considering I skipped my last two lessons yesterday and the whole point of me being here was to not get expelled for missing too many lessons.

Matt and Chris talked amongst themselves behind me as I walked to my locker but stopped earlier than when I reached it considering theirs were a fair distance from mine. I swung my locker open, still hearing murmurs of my name as people passed by me and I sighed, resting my head on the small shelf inside my locker. I looked across the hallway to see Matt talking to both of his brothers now, looking like they were having a serious conversation.

I pulled my bag out of my locker, swinging it onto my shoulder before I slammed the door closed louder than I usually would out of frustration. People turned to look at me and I slid my hood on, walking down the hallway as people started filtering out for their next class. I walked out the front door without being stopped by anyone, a breath of relief leaving me but once I noticed how hard it was raining, my shoulders slumped slightly.

I couldn't be bothered walking all the way home and back, especially in this rain but I also couldn't stand being at school at the moment. Amidst my thoughts and pulling my pack of cigarettes out of my bag along with my silver zippo lighter, I hadn't noticed the doors of the school opening.

"Hey, social butterfly," Matt appeared beside me, his hair now covered by a black baseball cap. I placed a cigarette between my lips, throwing the packet in my bag before lighting the end of it, "You're gonna smoke that here?"

"Social butterfly?" I asked, not responding to his question verbally as I took puffs of the cigarette.

"The first thing that came to mind," he shrugged, leaning his back against the brick wall behind him.

"Don't you have a class to get to, Captain?" I asked, sarcasm in my tone as he smirked at me. I made sure to blow the smoke away from his face as I spoke since I knew how much it pissed most people off.

"Don't you?" he retorted and I rolled my eyes, looking out at the rain-filled car park in front of me, "Where you going?"

"Don't know," I shrugged, not looking over at him as I spoke, "Can't stand being here but I can't be fucked walking home and back."

"Why don't you wanna be here?" he asked, his question sounding genuinely curious rather than prying.

"Because people can't shut their fucking mouths about me," I answered more harshly than intended before I looked to my right at him, noticing he was looking at the cigarette in my hand, "You want one?"

"Oh no. I don't- I've never..." he trailed off, shaking his head making me snicker to myself.

"Of course not," I mumbled, taking another hit before I let my right-hand drop to my side again, flicking the ash on the floor. Suddenly, the cigarette had been taken from my hand and Matt held it between his lips, taking a long drag.

He exhaled the smoke before he started coughing, holding his chest in the process making me chuckle at him. I took the cigarette from his hand, his cold rings brushing my fingers as I did so.

"You good?" I asked, amusement written on my face and he nodded, coughing lightly, "Went a bit hard for your first time there, pretty boy."

He had a pained look on his face as he looked over at me while I took another drag, looking out at the rain that didn't seem to stop, "How do you do that? It's not even enjoyable."

With a shrug, I said, "Just habitual at this point."

A silence fell between us for a few moments before Matt asked, "You hungry?"

"What?" I asked, pure confusion on my face as I looked at him and he pushed away from the wall.

"I wanna go to McDonald's. You might as well come with," he answered before swinging the door open to the school and walking inside. I stayed in my position, debating whether or not it's a good idea to go with him.

I didn't have any money on me but I also didn't want to stand here for the next few hours doing nothing so by the time he returned, backpack on his shoulder, I dropped the last of the cigarette on the ground. I squished it with my feet before turning to him.

"I don't have any money for food," I told him honestly and he waved me off as he grabbed his keys from his backpack.

"My treat," he answered quickly before he walked into the rain towards his car. I watched as his pace quickened and I bit my lip out of nervous habit. I shortly followed after him, jogging towards the car before I jumped in the passenger seat and swung the door closed behind me.

"I can pay you back tomorrow," I said as he started the car and he gave me a strange look as if he didn't know why I said that.

"It's just McDonald's. My bank account will live," he replied with a smirk and I shook my head.

"I'm fine to pay you back, I just don't have any money on me right now," I pushed further, never liking the idea of people buying things for me.

"Layla, I promise you it's fine. I asked if you were hungry, not if you had money to pay for your own food," he stated matter-of-factly and I pursed my lips before I slumped back into my seat. A brief pause was placed in the car before he said, "Seatbelt."

"Oh shit. Right," I clicked myself in quickly before he repeated the process of placing his right hand on my headrest, turning around and spinning the wheel with his left hand as he reversed.

"You can be on aux if you want," he said as he put the car in drive and we rolled out of the car park.

"I doubt you will like my music," I mumbled in response and he smirked, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road.

"Try me," he answered and I raised my eyebrows, grabbing my phone from my pocket and plugging it into the aux cable. I clicked on my most recent playlist, the first song being Message in a Bottle by the Police. I looked over at Matt to study his reaction to the music, his hand tapping against the wheel lightly along to the beat.

I hummed along to the song, looking out of the window at the rain pattering along the road. As we pulled into the cark park of McDonald's, the next song began playing which was Paper Machete by Queens of the Stone Age.

"What do you want?" Matt asked as we joined the back of the small queue of cars in the drive-thru, leaning his elbow on the window as he placed his head on his hand.

"Uh..." I trailed off, trying to think of what to get since I hadn't ordered fast food in a while, "Just a large fries is fine."

"You don't want anything else? Cheeseburger or nuggets or something?" he asked and I shrugged, "You like nuggets?"

"I don't mind them," I answered truthfully and he nodded.

"You want a drink?" he asked as we rolled up slowly, only one car in front of us before we had to order.

"Just a medium sweat tea is fine," I replied and he nodded before we rolled up to order.

Matt ordered what he wanted first before ordering my fries and sweat tea but I turned my head when he said, "Oh and can I get a 20-piece nuggets as well. Thanks."

With that, he rolled up to the next window and used his phone to pay for the food before we waited.

"Do you really need 20 nuggets?" I asked and he smirked at me, leaning against his hand again.

"No that's why you're gonna have some," he answered like it was obvious and I frowned. We pulled up to the last window, grabbing our food and Matt handed me the drinks to put in the cupholder before he gave them a quick thank you. He pulled into a car park and slid his seatbelt off.

"Give me the receipt," I held my hand in the middle of the car, sliding the seatbelt off my body and he held the bag in his lap.

"Why?" he asked with a squint of his eyes and I did small grabby-hands with my hand that was reached out.

"I wanna know how much it all was," I answered honestly and he shook his head.

"You don't need to. You're not paying me back," he said with a smile as he handed me one of the large fries from the bag and placed the nuggets on the console in between us.

"Matthew. Give me the receipt," I deadpanned and he grabbed the receipt out of the bag. I was waiting for him to hand it to me but instead, he started ripping it into pieces making me groan, "You're an asshole."

"I'm an asshole because I'm paying for your food?" he asked, a smile still on his lips as I frowned at him while he began eating his food.

"You're an asshole for not letting me pay you back," I mumbled in response as I started picking at my fries.

"Have a nugget and you'll forget all about it," he shrugged, sliding the nuggets towards me slightly and I rolled my eyes, reluctantly grabbing one from the box, "When do you wanna go back?"

"Never," I instinctually answered and he just looked at me, waiting for a real response, "I don't know. I need to go back for my last two periods."

"We can go back at lunch?" he asked and I nodded in response before I turned up the volume on the radio that was still playing music from my phone. The song that was now playing was Hypnotize by Biggie and I lip-synced silently to the words as I slowly ate my food, "So you do listen to rap."

"I listen to everything," I shrugged and he hummed suspiciously making me look at him with a squint, "What?"

"Nothin'," he shrugged, an amused look on his face, "Just hear people say that a lot and they listen to the same three genres."

"Give me a genre and I'll name at least three artists I listen to," I challenged and he chuckled before turning to face me more.

"Pop," he looked at me intently.

"Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Beyonce," I answered easily and he nodded.

"Metal?"

"What kind of metal?" I asked, knowing he just group all heavier music together, "Nu metal would be Slipknot, Korn and Limp Bizkit. Death metal would be Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Blood Bath. Metal core would be Bring Me the Horizon, Parkway Drive and Trivium. Or heavy metal would be Black Sabbath, Pantera and Van Halen. Shall I go on?"

"Alright I got it," he chuckled before taking a sip of his drink as he thought again, "What about rap?"

"Tyler the Creator, Biggie and Trippie Red," I answered confidently and he nodded again.

"Jazz?" he asked and I snickered as he was struggling to think of more genres.

"Billie Holiday, Miles Davis and Nat King Cole," I had a cocky look on my face and he raised his eyebrows.

"Country," he stated, now looking as if he was trying to challenge me more.

"Kasey Musgraves, Zach Bryan and Shania Twain,"

"Grunge,"

"Soundgarden, Nirvana and Alice in Chains,"

"Reggae,"

"Bob Marley, Peter Tosh and Jimmy Cliff,"

"Rock,"

"Foo Fighters, that's a big one, Lenny Kravitz and Fleetwood Mac,"

"Okay, I got no more. You win," he held his hand up in surrender with an amused look on his face.

"I mean I could keep going but I'll let you think about it for a while," I answered, a small smile on my lips triumphantly. He just stared at me for a moment, unmoving as he studied my face, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

I wiped my hands around my mouth and he shook his head with a smile, "No. I've just never seen you smile before."

"Oh," I let my smile drop, feeling slightly insecure as he stared at me.

"You should do it more," he shrugged as he threw his trash in the empty bag, "You have a pretty smile."

"Alright, stop gassing me up. I just proved you wrong on so many levels," I answered, brushing off his compliment as I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Yeah, you're right. Don't wanna make your ego too big, rockstar," He answered with a chuckle and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Rockstar?" I questioned, finishing the rest of my fries before throwing the trash in the bag he had now placed in the back seat.

With a shrug, he replied, "You like music a lot. Just seems fitting."

"You come up with the weirdest names," I stated and he smirked at me cockily.

"Don't think I didn't notice what you called me earlier," he said making me frown further in confusion, "When I was coughing my fucking lungs up. You called me pretty boy."

"At least the names I call you make sense," I rolled my eyes, trying to brush over the fact I called him that.

"So you think I'm pretty?" he asked, the mischievous look written across his face.

"Now whose ego is big," I raised my eyebrows, a small smile falling onto my lips.

"You're the one who said it!" he threw his hands out in front of him dramatically making me chuckle.

"It's fitting because you're conventionally attractive and that's why so many people love you," I shrugged, a smile still on my lips, "And plus you're captain of the hockey team. That always gets you far in popularity."

"You don't seem to care about popularity though," he stated, a questioning tone behind his words and I nodded.

"Why do you think I never talk to anyone?" I asked rhetorically before I looked out the window, "Yet people still love to talk about me."

"I mean..." Matt trailed off making me look back at him to see he was still looking at me, "I never really intended to be popular. I kinda hate it honestly."

"What's there to hate about being the most loved person in the school?" I asked with a distasteful chuckle.

"I only talk to my friends but everyone still loves to talk about me," he echoed my statement from earlier and I bit my bottom lip while nodding, "It's not all bad. Just gets annoying sometimes."

"At least people say nice things about you," I mumbled making his eyebrows furrow as he looked at me, adjusting his hair in his hat.

"Not always," he retorted making me look at him as I took a sip of my drink, "Especially with Chris being my brother and the fucking idiot he can be. Just because he's with a new girl every week, doesn't mean I am."

"Not as bad as people saying I killed my neighbour's cat," I raised my eyebrows and he pursed his lips, nodding in agreement.

"I can't argue with that one," he smiled a little bit as I bit my lip again, "How many piercings do you have?"

His sudden question threw me off but I answered regardless, "Nine."

"Wow," he seemed surprised and I now noticed the fact he had his ears pierced, the shiny silver earrings dangling from his ears.

"I have my septum, eyebrow, 3 in each ear and then my tongue," I stuck my tongue out to show him the silver bar that was through my tongue and he once again raised his eyebrows.

"Do you have any tattoos?" he asked and I nodded. Instead of explaining, I slid my leather jacket off and my black hoodie. I showed him the black and white tattoos that scattered across my arms, all for various different meanings.

"I also have a couple on my legs but kinda hard to show you those right now," I shrugged and he grabbed my wrist, pulling my left arm towards him gently as he looked at the permanent art on my skin.

"What's this one?" he asked, pointing to one of the bigger tattoos I had on my tricep.

"It's the welcome home cake from Coraline," I explained as his fingertips dragged over the tattoo raising goosebumps on my skin, studying it like he was genuinely intrigued, "My mum and I used to watch it a lot when I was little. It's always been my favourite movie."

"That's cool," he smiled at me, letting go of my wrist and I slid my hoodie back on, the cold air nipping at my skin, "I wanna get more tattoos. Where do you get yours?"

"Uh, one of my dad's friends did them. He's not licensed though so I'd recommend going somewhere that's professional," I smiled tightly before I realised I'd never noticed his tattoos, "I didn't know you had any tattoos."

"My parents said I have to wait till I graduate to get ones that are visible like on my arms and legs and stuff. But I have these on my hips," he lifted up the hem of his hoodie, sliding the waistband of his jeans down slightly to reveal two lightning bolts on either side of his waist travelling along his v-line.

"Oh wow," I took in a breath, feeling my face heat up as he slid the waistband back up and fixed the hem of his hoodie.

"I also have these on my collarbones," he announced as he pulled down the neckline of the hoodie to reveal a trail of leaves on either side of his collarbones.

I smirked as I looked at them before looking up at his face, "Big on the symmetry I see."

He shrugged in response before grabbing his drink and finishing the last of it, "I don't know what to get next."

"You gonna get any more piercings?" I asked, genuine curiosity in my words and he shrugged, "You should get a lip piercing."

"I'd have to wait till the seasons over if I get any piercings because I'd have to take it out before I play," he explained and I shrugged in response.

"It's only another month right?" I asked and he nodded in response, "Come with me when I get my lip pierced when the season is over then."

"You think a lip piercing would look good on me?" he asked, pulling his visor down to look at himself in the mirror.

"Mhm," I hummed in response as I looked at him inspecting his own face in the mirror, "Wait. I have an idea."

I unclipped one of my tiny hoop earrings from my ear, making sure to clean it a bit with the sleeve of my hoodie, "Look at me."

He turned to face me and I grabbed his chin to turn his head to the right further. I grabbed the small ring in between my fingers as he just stared at me before I mumbled, "I can't put it on if you have your mouth closed."

He let his jaw open, leaving his mouth ajar as I slid the ring over his lip. I moved it around, realising it didn't sit properly since it wasn't positioned on the inside of his lip correctly. I used my left thumb to pull his bottom lip down slightly and he looked at me intently while I slid the ring further down his lip till it looked satisfactory.

"There!" I nodded and he looked back to the mirror, tilting his head side to side to see if he liked it, "Perfect."

"Why get a piercing when I can just put on a fake one?" he asked with a smirk and I noticed the ring flash in the light as he turned to face me.

"Because fake piercings are corny," I deadpanned and he ran his tongue over the ring.

"It feels weird," he said before looking back at himself in the mirror, "But it does look good."

"Told you," I smiled at him and he shook his head with a smile on his lips.

"Should I leave it on when we go back to school and freak everyone out?" he asked, a mischievous look on his face as I pursed my lips with a nod, thinking of the shock on people's faces when the Matthew Sturniolo would walk into school with a lip piercing, or at least a fake one.

[wroteclassicaly]

i’m here dw <3 i’ve been thinking of the idea of him fucking you and interrogating you hehe. “you wanna cum? you better answer my fuckin’ questions first.” taking total and complete control over you when you’re being difficult is sooooo 💫🫶🏻 He -han

Mr. Tillman loves him some bondage. 🥵

Also… I’m sorry that this took on a mind of its own, and I gave some Headcanons/backstory, that we don’t have yet. I do know Roy is most likely Gator’s dad, because his name is listed as Roy Tillman, so I’m assuming? 😭

Warnings: Language, bondage, edging, possessive Gator, vaginal sex, and use of a sex toy!

~*~

If you told yourself that you never thought about what Gator would, or could do to you with the plethora of binds he kept on him (or in that rust bucket he called a pick-up) — you’d be the biggest liar in the whole entire Midwest. Asking didn’t seem like an option to you, and you weren’t sure if Gator would a) use those specific things on you, or b) think you could handle them. You weren’t the type of girl that he usually took home to bed and be rid of. When you started sleeping together it surprised everyone in town, because let’s face it, word travels when a Tillman is involved in even a spill on aisle twelve. The whispers were more aimed at you, the quiet little mouse that ran the town’s one and only library, and resided on the edge of poverty.

Your grandparent’s lived and died in a trailer, and your dad left with his high-school sweetheart. Your mom had scurried out of town and went further into the country, residing on a farm with her flavor of the last few years. You’d known the Tillman’s since you were born, school mates with Gator, your grandfather working for the city with Roy’s father. It was a weird cycle, things often happening that you didn’t want involved in. So you opted to stay in town in your upstairs studio — charmed by it’s exposed pipes and original hardwood floors — rough, but yours.

Your work was a flight of stairs and down the street — away. You’d pass your favorite diner and the station, both of which Gator always routined in the morning, similar to your own schedule. More often than not, you’d see him clambering from his merlot colored 1948 Ford pickup. He never shut up about restoring the thing, much to Roy’s constant dismay.

“Buy a new one, boy. Waste of time.”

Gator added that to his many blissful defiances towards his father. Ones that could be overlooked. He knew better than to tow the line on the bigger things, even if he was ‘Sheriff’. Still, Gator Tillman did whatever job he was presented with, and he did it well. It followed on the spurs of a roughened elegance, like a soft spicy cologne, the leather of his combat boots, that thick gel he laid his chestnut tresses back with, or the beard burns he decorated along your thighs.

The morning that started it all, is when you’d had some continuous issues with idiot kids breaking into the return box and busting it into dents. Was it a big deal? Not really. But you weren’t about to lose your shitty minimum wage job for childish theatrics, all because your manager was a tight wad, and the town hall was in Roy’s back pocket, unwilling to let funds go for things that weren’t firearms. You hadn’t unlocked the box for returns, and you heard the kids throwing rocks, ramming it with the tires of their bikes —sheer boredom on a summer morning.

Gator was already out there, leaned over the top of a neon green set of handlebars, palm clasped on the pre-teen’s shoulder, shaking his head. The kid was pale, holding up his hands in apology, and turning towards you with glossy eyes. A quiet ‘M’ sorry, M’am.” Had tumbled off his lips. If they hadn’t continuously caused so much damage, you would’ve felt bad for him.

As he rode off into that crisp morning air, you’d turned, only to find the sun illuminating Gator’s enriching chocolate eyes, irises scattered with shards of mossy green and embers of golden flecks, his caramel colored hair slicked back until it looked darker than its natural shade — shining, freckles splattered all over his face and neck, a glimpse of his gold chain peeking out from his navy blue t-shirt, his vest tossed over his loose jean jacket, with his look completed by his thigh holster and weapon — strapped to his gray and black camouflage cargo pants. He drank in your reaction like a man dying of thirst. And the rest became one for the small town history books.

~*~

“Gator, just… fucking… PLEASE —“

A hand that is tainted with the musk of your own arousal, it lays flat over your mouth, his chain dipping between the valley of your perspired-drenched breasts, a brutal thrust delivered. His stubble formed beard, it scratches at your earlobe, his lips whispering out in a tone of mocking. “Didn’t I tell you not to talk unless you have answers for me?”

You mumble against his hand and he reaches back over with a free set of digits, snatching your wand off the table and pressing it back onto your clit. “What’s that, sweetheart? Was that a confession or another mouthy mistake?”

Tears soak your lash line, your cunt dousing him with new waves of cream each time he gives another push. He smirks, eyes blown and receptive, features a lit with mirth. He loves you not giving it up as much as he’s giving it to you. This… interrogation became more than his jealousy. A fun little game that he knew would also test his sanity not to claim you outwardly.

His spit-slick hand leaves your mouth, the vibrator being pulled off as you start to buck into his pelvis. You whine loudly, panting, his hand slapping above up into your bed frame, caging you in beside your cuffed wrists. You’re dripping down his balls and your ass, out of your fucking mind with raw need. You’ll say anything he wants, at this point. His calloused thumb-pad hovers over your clit, lips puffing out another questioning demand. “I asked you who he was and why he thought it was okay to act like your little hero, huh? He sniffin’ around you, wanting to hike up his leg for a piece of territory?”

“I need you, Gator! I want —“

His thumb grazes your clit and presses down… hard, leaving a painful ache snapping inside of your belly, but not enough to give you what you need, simply just encourage its flames. You tighten around him and he pulls out some, shaking his head. “Don’t care what you want. He’s playin’ on my turf, with my bitch. And she’s already been claimed.”

You attempt to twist your hips, but he rises onto his knees, hairy thighs pressed into the underside of your own. He’s in your face again, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “You wanna cum? You better answer my fuckin’ questions first!”

[writing-hat]

Out of curiosity, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

how would jay (from your fic) react to seeing or hearing about Arrakore?

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER I needed to figure out how it would happen (idk if this is complete or not but it should be)

anyway bbnb!jay meeting Arrakore!

oh he would FREAK OUT

Like, real and heavy panic attacks that make me absolutely tense every time I write them

He would not feel safe every time he's around Arrakore, and panic alone in a room as soon as he can or something I think.

because Nadakhan kept lying to him about how djinns really were (for intimidation purposes mainly, but also because he was pursuing his own sort of ideal that lead to him getting banished from his homeworld (I'll explain all that in another fic that's taking me a while to write dw about it for now)), Jay is going to think Arrakore has to be lying all the time, or at the very least playing with them

He might even think Arrakore might be planning revenge for his people, like Nadakhan had, or is at the very least working with him or something

First scenario. First meeting might be Jay freaking out with his powers going insane, and him actually loosing control for the first time in a while. This might lead to Arrakore trying to help him control his powers, only for everything to get worse.

Or, second scenario, Jay might attack on purpose, trying to get rid of someone he knows is an enemy. There's no way that djinn would be on their side, and his friends trust him cuz they don't remember. That's it. Nya? She trusts the guy, but she can be wrong, and that's okay. He'll do the dirty work for her

3rd scenario would be Jay not attacking, after being told by the others not to, but being tense, not letting him out of his sight for even a second. Or trying to avoid him.

If it's during his amnesia, I'm considering the first or third being more of what could happen. I do like the idea of him not knowing why he's so scared, why he's so terrified of someone he's never known

Maybe even have Nadakhan's face replacing the Arrakore's every now and then, and him not really knowing what to do

I have multiple ideas mainly because I'm not done with my fic, and I have not decided on what the resolution of his emotions or powers is going to be. I mean, I have something I consider a vague idea, but based on how I handle it, Jay is going to have more or less control of himself whenever things like those are going to happen to him

Also, depending on whether Arrakore knows it's because of Nadakhan or not, his actions are going to be very much different as well

Cuz he knows how much of a twisted bastard the banished prince was, and he knows he must've done something terrible if Jay panics whenever he sees him like that

The worst in this, is that I see Arrakore being a kind and good soul, always trying to help out the lightning ninja

only for it to ultimately fail

But yeah! Overall, Jay would be terrified, and not trusting of Arrakore. He'd even try to get rid of him at all cost, and if he understands that his friends trust that guy, then he might try to do that behind their backs. I am one to believe Jay would be ruthless when it comes to a situation that is serious, especially if it's to protect his friends

An even twisted way for things to happen, would Jay taking sorta revenge about Nadakhan on Arrakore. How? Plenty of ideas there, idk if you guys want me to elaborate cuz this is already VERY long (and I'm sorry about that MJKERRLGK I digress easily help)

(Of course this would be resolved but it would take TIME. so so much TIME. And I am one to take time and write a lot when it comes to comfort and all so yea.)

thank you for the ask!! and I hope this answered properly

see you around!

[ganeshpnf]

To the anon that sent me an ask about asking my thoughts about the tv show, Im so sorry but something happened and I think it got deleted 😭 But dw I would still answer it here-

So this would be a critism post and I want to make it clear that everyone is free to reblog and comment their thoughts freely, while being kind. Critism is valid and its not rude, but any bad comments or hateful remarks to any actor, especially child actors, would be deleted. I dont like blocking so dont make me please!

Okay to start, I would be so honest and say I did not find the show successful and I did not like it. I would explain all the reasons, but did it make me feel nostalgia a bit? Yes it did. Did it make me cry at the end? Yes :) I would add pros at the end. But first:

Cgi was really bad, I mean that claiming scene would be a laughing stock in a few years. Chimera? Nope- Medusa's hair also looked better in that movie in 2010. Also they avoided showing Grover's legs so much, also didn't even show us riptide's change...They got 15M per episode and if these are the results, then it is a problem. Background of Percy and Ares's fight- so so greenscreen. I wish Disney can take things seriously.

Lighting was so dark, especially for the lighting thief. Which was such a humor filled book and it was way too colorful. Why make it all so dark and lifeless?

Also humor? Way too low for pjo. "But we are not reading Percy's mind!" Yet, there were so many jokes in the books that could have been add, but they didn't. Yes there are some good jokes (pinecone fate) but to the standart, I expected to laugh way more. Its pjo!

Changes? Well to be honest I am a person who keeps book and show separate, I dont think they are the same at all. So I dont complain about the changes at much. But most of the changes were pointless to me and so many things left unsaid. I wish they didn't make Gabe way too soft. Children's show, yes. But then again, what would you do for later seasons if they cant even show Crusty's dead. Sally's real reason to marry Gabe never get explained, why? 4 pearls, why? Missing deadline? Totally pointless. Not mentioning Riptide's name? Chiron might have say it. Love tunnel? Now its a long one. Rick explained they couldn't do spiders and its hilarious, you gotta do sea monsters man- And instead of a chance to see an actual comedy: live on Olympus and Annabeth losing her shit. We get to see such a early scene of Percabeth drama. Why changing one of the funniest scene in the books to drama? You needed more edits for view or smt? Hephaestus falling over to the speech of friendship was nothing but cringe to me. Moving on, Thalia's acting to Annabeth. Why she is not nice to her and Annabeth had to earn her love. The point was Thalia to remember Jason and taking Annabeth under her wings immediatly bcs of it. Medusa's scene- Instead of us laughing to trio's silly behaviours and falling to her trap like little kids would, we get to hear a monster-hero talk. Yay another speech! Ovid's side of the story also bothered me. Greek mythology, why adding Ovid? Just us to sympatize with Medusa. Lotus Casino scene- We could have watch them have fun and going crazy but noo- they had do add more drama with Hermes. Did not see the point of his appearing either. Why is he there? I wanted to see them being children...And wanted to see the magic of the place!

Now if I move to characters, Percy's I know it all side is just annoying and adds no suspense to the viewers. What's the point if he knows everything already? "But his mom taught him!" But guys, remember, the whole point of pjo was: us to learn with Percy! We were learning the Greek myths with Percy, who is new to the world. They go somewhere and Percy immediatly: "You are Crusty, my mom told stories about you!" 😑 What a relief then! You tell us. Percy's sudden bravery at the end? Dude, he has 5 books for that.

Annabeth turning to a stoic child soldier? Suddenly goody-two shoes? Where are her emotions? Her fears? Her flaws? Her fricking love of architecture? She doesnt need to know everything to be smart girl. She had ADHD, she is 12! Ofc she was supposed to fall in traps. We should have watch her blushing as Luke talks, getting all wet by Percy in the toilet, she was supposed to our little girl. She is not just a badass queen yet, please. Give her personality back. Why she only smiled once at the end of the series? And not having a childhood, not even watched a movie? You guys cant be serious- She grew up in chb! She picked up strawberries, she played games and she watched movies when she was little, remember? She was not in legion... She is one of the most emotional characters, should we remind this to Rick and writers? She cries, she has feeling! Dam she was crying when they left Cerberus! She was a trouble-maker, she stole clothes, remember? Her portrayal was awful...

And about the Gods- Just..."He is trying to make them look awful at the beginning" Then why the hell it was only Athena? Almost turning her to second Zeus- Are you kidding me? You make her suddenly a child killer, when in the books she was nothing like that. Why making her worse, when other gods(Poseidon, Hermes, Hephaestus,Dionysus,Ares,Hades) seem way more human and nicer? You cant tell me he tries to make them worse when they are portrayed like that! No sir- Hephaestus is nice enough to release Percy after a friendship speech. Poseidon is suddenly a perfect dad, he is not sorry that Percy is born. Ares is just a dumb twitter bully, where in the books he was threating them to no end. And fricking Hades?! I am sorry but Hades like that- He should have been scary. But no, he is just a lonely cool guy. I thought he softened after Nico. Cant wait for the development now...

Other than that, one of my most important things: vibe. Sorry...Like I said, it was way too boring for pjo. Even that horrible movies had more vibe! Gimme the vibe!

Pacing? Has a problem and I hope they fix it. Episodes being too short? Also another issue.

Now for the chb, I was hoping to see more activity. Why the camp is not full of noisy kids running around, playing hide and seek like in the books, training wild around the areas, camfire and silly songs? Where are our children screaming and being ADHD demigods? Instead they play chess in the cabin- Please, give more life to chb.

Finally, for the things I liked:

Riptide song!!! That song is my favourite thing in the whole show- Like its soo good.

Seeing Sally's struggle to raise Percy. Also a plus for me. Because I was curious. Also adding Poseidon to the scene was okay. I loved that parts.

Young Percy did awesome and he was such a good actor :)

Percy's dreams were good, I loved seeing them. Congrats! Andd, child accurate cast. It was important. But I wish they hurry so then we wont have it anymore 😭

That was it! Like I said, I find it a bad show, as a fan of 12 years. I waited this for so many years. I was dreaming this. But sorry, bad show is a bad show. At least it did give me some nostalgia and it did make me cry at the end :) I hope they improve because it would suck if they get a cancel before season 5. The bad thing is, I feel they knew we pjo fandom wanted a show for years. And they knew we would eat the crumbs. Its just not fair, you know. They would like it anyway, type. They are not taking it as seriously as they should. With that budget, look at other shows with that budget. I know, its still a kids' show. But I dont think its an excuse for them to upset the fans who waited this long...

Thanks for the ask anon! And like I said, feel free to add your thoughts :)

[ruelin024]

What does the neutral mean?

Heyo Anon, this is not specifically targeted at you, okie╰(*°▽°*)╯

I will answer you and others for this post. 👌

[Neutral shipper: Typically refers to someone who does not want to participate in proship versus antiship discourse. Can be considered 'proship' by default to some.]

Quoted off from This Carrd -> SHIPPING GLOSSARY

Now, this is for all the other anonymous in my inbox that keep asking me "what I am", "who I am part of", and "why I call myself Neutral."

I deleted those asks since; I will be answering y'all questions here.

First off, it felt funny/weird being asked "What am I?" Like lmao. I'm just Rue/Ruth, I draw :3 I like Undertale, I'm tryna learn how to socialize better and improve my art, so wassup.✨o(*^▽^*)┛

This post is meant for those who are open-minded and respectful plz and thank you. (^^ゞ)

Long Wordy Personal Post Below

(CW/TW regarding ships, I curse a bit sorry)

None of this is meant to offend nor dismiss anyone’s opinion, experiences, or feelings. Understand, this is just my rambling and thoughts. I'm also not calling out anyone! AND PLZ do not harass anyone from the links.

Some of my quick research:

-> SHIPPING GLOSSARY -> so what does ‘ship-neutral’ actually mean? -> 👑yorse backyorse friends the backyorsigans🐝 — Sad how "proship is the neutral side" is kind of... -> Proship, at it's very core, is a combination of four general principles-- -> Proship is, at the very core, very simple! -> Curating your online and fandom experience includes: -> They have links about "Fiction and Reality" -> Other short discussion on Proship

I am usually not one for drama or negative vibes, but it would be nice if I can stop getting asks pertaining to proshipping and anti-shippers.

And the fact I'm okay and Welcoming to ALL is really because I am Neutral, my personal thought process has always been, "I do not wish to bother nor be bothered."

I am told/warned by very close peers, I am quite desensitized or apathetic to things, but it's due to some personal trauma I will not discuss publicly for my safety. It's one of the reasons I don't care to bother with troublesome things. Dw I'm working on it and healing.

This means "this" will be the first and only big important post I make regarding this topic.

And if I happen to be a bother, plz tell me or do block, and unfollow me okay, for your sake. ╯︿╰

I do not have a dni for many reasons. Though the main bare minimum I shouldn't even ask of anyone is to just be nice, respectful, kind and open-minded. I will not tolerate harassment, insults, or threats around me or for those around me.

Anyway, the Proshipper and Antishipper community arguments are bothersome but is quite an entertaining read.

We all have our own opinions, thoughts, view etc, if you actually don't like something, then just stay far far away from what you find/consider problematic. And you'll see life is so much calmer.

I for one am living as satisfied as I can.

I am a simple person. I just like art and doing/making what I like such as exploring Undertale content, creating fanart for friends, conversing about OCs and AUs, participating in DTIYS, all that fun exciting stuff! I get to know others; I get to draw more and improve on myself! Win-win! ♪(^∇^*)

Tumblr is my first ever social media when I turned 18, literally 2023, last year. I anxiously decided when I became an adult, I can finally do instagram, discord, tumblr, etc, to share my art because I am usually a nervous wreck both irl & online.

Yeah, internet still paranoids me, but I'm getting though it cause school requires me to. *sigh*

(Uh. to my friends, reading this, that I've bothered multiple times to help me use sites and my phone/computer, 😭 you cool, also sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry) My bad. 👌Y'all patience is immaculate.

So, I for one am not knowledgeable about, well, "the internet" as others may be at my age. I never knew the art community had more issues other an ai, art theft, and tracing, like whoa.

So lemme tell you something, when I was recently first confronted about if I was a proshipper, I went to research, and there's not a way I can word this nicely, but "I do not care what other people think, like, do or say" especially on the internet, unless it's being shoved down my throat forcibly, but you know what, no one can exactly do that online, since I and everyone else has the power to block, unfollow and curate their own internet experience respectfully.

And if you can't, I insist you take care/be kind to yourself and chill off your device OR learn how to block certain people, content labels and tags, etc y'know.

And a dni list might sometimes not be read, personal experience:

I happened to accidentally disrespect a friend's dni list because at the time I didn't know I was a person that had opinions that were against what their thoughts/views were and didn't know/realize that they had an issue with "Fiction doesn't affect reality." Purely accidental, they were one of the first asks and friends I made, so I followed without reading their blog thoroughly cause I was just happy to make more Undertale friends. And didn't know if I should randomly disappear from them, up until they confronted me about it. Anyway, I think that issue was solved, hopefully.

Now I have friends who were proshippers, friends that are nice antis, friends in-between and friends that are neutral like me. And those I still consider Friends who have blocked and unfollowed me.

Along with some who didn't wish to hear me out and decided to make their vile assumptions of me, and others who were kind and open enough to listen to my own words and remain a dear friend.

Being Neutral to me is not having a strong enough opinion for or against. Cause not all proshippers are badshit mental, not all anti-shippers are death threatening fancop messengers, and not all neutrals are hypocritical.

Something around those lines. Btw, I enjoy platonic ships for the most part, also consent and boundaries is highly important in my book. I do not support sick shit and know just because someone is associated with people who draw that, doesn't mean they support it, I for one know my reality and know where fiction stays fiction. That's my opinion and thoughts. If you can't differentiate and you let something like fiction rule your life in a bad way, I hope you work on yourself more and be kind to yourself. 😔 I had a moment of struggle like that after going through certain experiences, until I learned and disciplined myself to not give a flying fuck anymore. Cause I found it to be very draining and stupid to keep dwelling on it. Now I don't get triggered easily for my well-being! Inner Peace type shit! 👈(ﾟヮﾟ👈)

Also, regarding the frans question cause of the ask about the "Sooner or Later You're Gonna Be Mine" post I made a few days earlier. Uh yeah, as long as characters are being depicted as adults, it also applies to aging up a child canon character, then it's fine, both are depicted as adults. That's their view, their drawing, their writing, their thoughts. And I will respect them for depicting their ship as adults if that's what it is.

In my opinion, I'm just glad they didn't do child x adult stuff in the frans ship in their fanfic. And even if they did, I'd cringe then just scroll off far far away and not bother with it anymore for my mental. OR I can just easily, replace the characters I'm reading on, with my own characters. I wouldn't spread hate nor harass anyone over it for being problematic. Cause I don't wanna bother, they probably get enough shit from others anyway, cause many types of people exist whether we like it or not.

I had someone tell me in a discussion once, where in their Undertale AU and drawings, their Frisk was an adult, and just know there's people out in the world that have a version of Frisk that ages with them, and is their specified identity despite canon Frisk being a nonbinary human, and that's their choice, not my business fr. Also, another talk with a friend, was that it was weird you'd still see an aged-up Frisk as a child, I dunno if this makes sense, but you view them as a child, despite them being drawn as an adult as depicted in certain frans drawings, that's odd, I guess and it was funny they told me, and I summarize quote them, "That means adults can't have romance(seggs)! We are basically aged-up children!" -So anyway, either you're protective of canon frisk and you simply can't see them in other's people's respective view or you just something else I dunno.

When I see a ship, I don't like, my way to view it is just replacing the characters in my head and scrolling off, simple. Well simple for me. I'm not sure about y'all? I'm in my head a lot, so I have a lot of imaginative power up there lol.

And my favorite color blue and green-ish blue. (✿◡‿◡)

Hopefully, I answered most of the asks. IF anyone needs some clarification, just be open minded and do you own research, go explore, don't just listen to close friends' opinions, have fun and discover your own opinions. That's how I gain my own perspective on many Undertale ships deemed common/problematic and being a Neutral. Understand, definitions are skewed overtime, find more than one source, learn from others, and then decide your own views.

This whole thing ain't mean to change your views or anything.

I'm not sure if I missed anything. I don't wanna proofread this again. This was tiresome to make. ╯︿╰ If I worded something wrong, comment it or something I will try to clear it up later perhaps.

I apologize to those who's view of me changed due to this post. Really sorry.

In conclusion, you do you, I do me, peace. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)