#also dont laugh at me tagging this with
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H*rry J*mes & Fr*nk S*natra's version of 'My Buddy' C'MON— NEED I SAY MORE???????????????????????
#yes i am absolutely saying John would like this#a song hed keep to himself.....#(m.iii)#j.d.#also dont laugh at me tagging this with#l/j#sksksksksk its my side blog where i get to be mushy#and i mean technically this makes sense for them in the main sense of the song and but also ♡#okay cause i dont think ppl will be seeing this again allow me to continue rambling#this version came out in '39!! (john would only have been 6!!) (i think hes born '33) so he definitely could have stumbled into this#while in high school or whatever and as i think he would be quite a fan of fs he would definitely pick up the record#and just him laying in his bed maybe one day; skipping his church responsibilities and just quietly listening#its from a ww song but of course this resonates with john in such a different degree#hes a kid hearing this intimidate moment sung by another man for anothet man; even if he knows its not suppose to be romantic#hes just in shock...in awe...as he keeps listening and listening in some ways he feels guilty#hes been raised a religious boy....this isnt right especially hes taking a WAR song and making it abt this#b4 anyone comes home he tucked it away safely away from prying eyes#getting ready to explain to his mom why hes home; swim ran late; he decided to help out; yada yada#also i think this would have happened when stuff has already came up before making it that much more scary but that much more fulfilling#and special#i think john is a very interesting character and i truly appreciate how emotional he is and i think you can just do a lot with him#idk i rlly hold close to me this hc bc i rlly like it & see it for john and so much comes with it especially growing up in this time period#so yeah a lot of him in his head i feel as home wasnt too good hed have his mother but not with stuff like this#as i feel shed be far too religious#ummmmm okay i think i got this out of my system#oh one thing like yes hes over emotional but also my god would he still have been a little asshole while growing up and have that#like snarkiness to him but ohmygod thsts still so painfully john /affectionate
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 6
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5]
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr textpost#hsr memes#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail meme#boothill#hsr boothill#argenti#hsr argenti#sunday#hsr sunday#aventurine#hsr aventurine#black swan#hsr black swan#argenhill#boothill x argenti#i love their 'guns n' roses' ship name a whole lot but im not trying to unintentionally put this in the actual band's tag lmao#i dont have a good concise title for this one its just like. 50% Boothill and 50% my other fav hsr men. thats it thats the theme#also. dont fuckign come at me like 'but the 6th one isn't accurate! he wasn't born in a test tube!!' listen. i know.#he was found abandoned in the snow or smthn idk i haven't dug into his lore leaks yet but i Know. the first half isnt all that accurate#but the overall vibes of it are funny enough to me that i had to make it anyways. let's all just learn to suspend our disbelief a bit#for the sake of laughs. also also. hopefully it goes w/o saying but if something ever lacks a source it's bc i found it like that#i always leave the op's handles even if they dont fit the characters but sometimes the posts i find have already had them cropped out#which irks me bc i Try to be a stickler for giving credit. but anyways. enough overthinking the making of these silly memes#also. some of these are prob a bit more accurate only if you've seen some of Boothill's voiceline and message leaks but eh its fine
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an observation
#immortal she return to me.....#okay how the fuck do i tag this shit#joost klein#ski aggu#jonathan davis#fred durst#jd korn#korn#fred durst lb#limp bizkit#god bless my dear friend ola for showing me where the davisdurst kissing gif comes from yesterday#davisdurst#i guess?#its IMPLIED ALRIGHT... they be fuckin#the twinkification of davisdurst#also notice how i replaced fuck with kiss in the first one ITS CUS I WAS EMBARASSE DOKAY#JOOST I LOVE YOU DONT BE MAD#guys do NOT show this to joost i will CRY but if jd saw it id laugh and giggle#oughhh jon....#my nu metal poser era IGNOREEE#meme#im making this up as i go#next stop sex town#okay im gonna take a nap gnight gang and sorry this isnt mcsm related at all oops#fuck my stupid baka life
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Suki - Chimera Falin amv
I present before you: The Chimera Falin Edit.
#This took me like prolly 6 or so hours to do so feast well y'all and take ur meds and drink water#had to get in that “WOAH HEY” somehow#tiddies out for falin (and marcille she would love to see them)#anime watchers not finna get the uardlle joke but manga readers y'all BETTER LAUGH OR ITS BACK TO NO CONTENT.#if the manga readers dont laugh im never finna acknowledge them again and this will be their only acknowledgement from me good day /jjjj#if you caught the lesbian flag being in front of marcille at the end you are entitled to a kiss on the forehead and a membership to the +#farcille fanclub below#fun fact: I had to MAKE THAT FUCKING MARCILLE REACTION IMAGE MYSELF WHY WAS IT NOT ALREADY A THING#TOOK UP SO MUCH TIME.#also thank whoever reads the tags y'all are my favorite pookies#farcille#falin thorden#falin dungeon meshi#falin dunmeshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#marcille dunmeshi#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille x falin#falin x marcille#chimera falin#falin chimera#faligon#dragon falin#delicious in dungeon amv#falin delicious in dungeon#marcille delicious in dungeon#oh also ig toshiro is here but i dont care about that man good night.#if you saw this last tag im literally giving you a kiss.
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You can see under the cut him without the Jojo Siwa makeup 🤣😹🤧
#Should i post here too?#I dont Really know anymore#Most of you follow me ig i guess#But if you dont my ig is :momeless_boiii#I think i will post art more frequently there#joost klein#clowncore#clown art#Art#artist on tumblr#Please still dont tag eurovision in these kind of posts#Still so mad...#europapa#Also why nobody talking about whe never get the chance to see the 100%%% version of his performance???#Im so curious#Jessie J who's laughing now playing in the distance
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wet james, austria 2016
#f1#james vowles#lewis hamilton#i think. idk lewis is there so ill tag. its cute#im laughing so hard at this set anyways thanks goodnight srry for the spam LOL#also thank you mr nyan for helping me get better quality video. i love you. i know u dont understand LOL#my edits
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WAIT SHUROS DAD SAID HE WANTED HIM TO BRING SOMETHING BACK INTERESTING.... AND WHO IS MORE INTERESTING THAN LAIOS....
#he also cited lack of flexibility in thinking. so surely the solution is shuro realising u can like men..........#wait... wait imagine. this wasnt the point of the post but everyone imagine with me#fake dating au but not on purpose shuro Does bring back the fucking king of the risen golden kingdom#but his dad takes it as him bringing his significant other back and says he wins#and laios goes But thats not-#and shuro claps his hand over his mouth like Wait a minute.#and when he gets back everyone agrees its the dumbest thing he could have done#im torn between chilchuck laughing or screaming at him. and kabru straight up murdering him#i dont know if itll be a recreation of the laios proximity disgust meter#or he comes back to a party popper exploding in his face with the banner Congrats on your marriage!#maybe both#god it is so difficult to come up with a ship name for them#but i need to. even if im just populating the tag with my screaming#laishuro????? maybe????#they dont have a lot of overlapping letters...#ok laishuro is free and also this is the only post that comes up if u search it here. weve done it lads#laishuro#dungeon meshi#will that even show up in the tags anymore. im a fool
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can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞
☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina
[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]
× yelan
Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.
Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.
The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.
She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.
Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.
"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.
"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"
× ei
Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.
..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE
Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.
She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.
But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.
Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.
"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"
She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.
Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.
Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.
× furina
Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.
Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.
Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).
She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!
Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.
Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.
"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."
The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!
..Maybe a little.
"Just warn me next time, please?"
#asks#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#yelan#furina#ei#THIS DIDNT SHOW UP IN MY INBOX UNTIL LIKE#NOVEMBERBIM SORRY IM ANSERRING IT SO LATE??????#tumblr working right is a miracle that will never happen#anyway can u tell i have. biases. there r so many characters I wanted to write for this (shenhe.........) but I forced myself to limit it#to 4 for my own sanity and everyones elses#also didnt know if u wanted just yan or sagau so I went for my specialty 🧍♂️#was gonna include my beloved cryo archon but decided against it#ei the pathetic lesbian that u r....mwah#I'm sorry this took so long it took me 50 yrs to figure out yelan.. 😭#i am still not confident abt my characterization of her but shes so good at her job even im confused abt her#reading her lore crying and sobbing in the corner. shaking her like a can of soda#checks note idk uhh cocky doesnt let herself form personal relationships charismatic uhhhhhhhh#idk dont ask me i just started praying and hoping for the best here#i think she'd get a kick out of getting reader into like. fudging rolls and shit. create an absolute menace out of reader#set them loose and see what chaos happens#just kicks back and watches it all unfold internally laughing her ass off#i didnt know whether to just do headcanons in uh. bulleted list or like#full on drabbles
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The 5 Stages of Grief ft. Charlie Slimecicle
Stage 1: Denial
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
and
Stage 4: Depression or is it Anger again? I honestly can’t tell, but I’m pretty sure he cares about his child now…
Stage 5: Acceptance?
At least for now…
EDIT:
hhahhhhaahhhahhhaaahaahhhhaaaa so much for “acceptance”
#charlie slimecicle#slimecicle#dont mind me#im just crying for a minecraft egg#CURSE YOU QUACKITY FOR CREATING SUCH ADORABLE YET FRAGILE CREATURES#it’s only been a week#qsmp#mcyt#twitter#el mariana#elmariana#ranboo#juanaflippa#flip high 🕊️🕊️#also if you’re here from my last post thank you so much#it truly means the world to me seeing others laugh over something I’ve shared#I swear not ALL of my posts will end with something sappy in the tags#but if you guys keep making me happy I gotta share my gratitude :D#and I guess no one here has twitter so#I will continue to post funny gloopy gunky guy propaganda
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#their little laugh in ggx is cute did you know this. now you do#their ggx-ac voice in general can be very cute. i dont say this enough.#particularly in drama cds :) but in in xx and ac story modes too. usually around dizzy. her calming effect on them can not be overstated.#even with their mental health in the fucking gutter They could be quite sweet. because theyre sweet. sweetie.#but also their fighting voice lines are cute too theyre a little cocky sometimes its fun. they laugh Kind of a lot. and its cute.#every time i get the voice set in +r where they laugh when theyre hit i clap and cheer#also i like the filter on their voice in ggx the weird high pitched layer. well. its cute how else do you expect me to describe it#the filter is a lot more subtle in xx they just kinda sound Even more compressed than everyone else LOL but it sounds cool in drama cds.#their ac plus story voice filter........ is so cool. very different from their gameplay voice its kind of jarring but yeah..#babygear why are you vocoded.........#sorry for rambling in the tags of a. a like 1 second long voice line#i like them.#the kat goes meow#gg#testament tag
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having a stressful time at work but i think it's very important to point out the other day i was asking a guy for help and he's like aight gotcha and then we go to this freezer room and he, from somewhere beyond a mound of boxes, just goes "you like anime right?"
sir this is the FIRST TIME we have spoken how did you clock that.
(he claims i had the vibes of someone who liked it then i was like oh like the woman in the deli wearing a jujutsu- and before i can finish the series name he says "no not her, she just liked the shirt. she's never watched anime". . . oh. i see. you have already had this debate with her then. okay.)
#moe talks a lot#not art#also im trying to swap from pick up to stocking and specifically dairy stocking#bc they seem to always have the hardest time keeping things stocked#and all of pick up has to stop them from working to ask for things in the back which keeps things from getting stocked#and this one guy made a terrible mistake of telling me#yeah we're like the unwanted ginger stepkids of the grocery store#because my brain immediately went NO IM ADOPTING THE DAIRY DEPARTMENT AS MY BELOVED GINGER KIDS#i told my mom that comment and she immediately laughed and said welp thats your department now#before i could even tell her i mentally adopted them#anyway gotta get to bed soon bc i do actually think i was a bit sick ? im so tired despite napping earlier#and only working a partial shift (five hours instead of eight)#sooooo gotta get rested up for the next three (or more!) days#since ive been cursed with no social life and will always work saturday and sunday#so even though my current schedule ends saturday and the next week schedule will be released At Some Point for sunday onward#i have yet to have a sunday off so i am most likely working sunday again#like the job itself is rough and i dont think the pick up workers like me much but every other department seems v nice and chill#i will continue to write essays in the tags no one can stop me
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Realized this while playing Birushana. Tomomori. You know.
#birushana#birushana rising flower of genpei#otome#wizardess heart#shall we date#blanking on what other morally controversial otome games ive played#but seriously that trope of “im lowkey obsessed with the heroine and even seeing the hate in her eyes as she looks at me is perfect.”#to “i would love to see what other expressions i could bring her to make-”#ALL the way to the final installment of “oh. when she smiles.. when shes happy.. and looks at me with such happiness?#that is the best expression she has ever made. she looks beautiful like that... everything else pales in comparison- no.#i actually dont care to see her tears or to have her look at me in anger ever again.“#and just. falling in love with her happiness and doing everything they can to make her smile and laugh among other things??#because they feel really good doing it??#sorry i know thats common with villain love interests but im REALLY a sucker for it okay i cant help it#but also no seriously what other games like this have i played again?? i havent played any of the villain routes in hakuouki yet#but i feel like this trope is probably in there so.#hakuouki#JUST THE LOOK OF SURPRISE ON THE LOVE INTEREST'S FACE WHEN THEY SEE THE PROTAG SMILE AT THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME#AFTER ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SHOWING FEAR OR HATE#I LOVE IT AAUUUGHHH#oh!! thats right!#steam prison#paradigm paradox#piofiore#BECAUSE YANG I FUVKING LOVE YANG EVEN THOUGH HES AWFUL UGH#even if tempest#ill tag that in here too bc Tyril was that way for a hot second in the beginning of his route/timeline when he was first meeting Anastasia#i definitely know theres more but damn#anyway#we support character development in this house
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i haven't drawn anything in a hot minute (two months 😬) so have this joke i never finished
my favs from the gachas i play
#punishing gray raven#pgr#honkai star rail#hsr#wurthering waves#wuwa#pgr watanabe#watanabe astral#hsr aventurine#star rail aventurine#wuwa mortefi#mortefi#the mental illness got to me boys#i dont have it in me to clean this up so i guess it'll have to look like shit#it still makes me laugh looking at it so i guess it doesn't matter#mid draws#i forgot my personal art tag whoops#idk what else i need to tag this with but i also don't care#it's 3:55am i'm going to bed
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noticed a while ago that yes man has a small lisp that's noticeable in a handful of his lines, so i made a little compilation of the ones where its Most apparent! :-)
#its like a 'ch' or whistled 's' sound for words that end in -s. i dont know how else to describe it i never learned ipa#sorry i mentioned this comp in the tags of that one post hoping someone would prompt me to post it because im a coward but i had to accept#that i'm in charge of my own destiny...!!!#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#i also isolated 54 seconds of him laughing because im sooo normal. there's also a line where his voice really cracks which isnt used ingame#(another take is used) but its still in the files#yes man#cc tag#oroeginals
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POORLY DRAWN GROGU EVERYDAY UNTIL 2022 ENDS: DAY 318, THE FINAL ONE
The last drawing I’ll make for this series! It’s the end of 2022 and also the end for the daily drawings.
I don’t want to get too sappy but thank you SO MUCH to everyone who’s been keeping up with the series. I’ve read all the notes and replies you guys leave and it really means a lot <3. I don’t think I can describe how blown away i am to see that many people finding joy in these drawings.
Not to get sappy I am kind of sad that it’s over, it was really fun to draw (but a pain when I couldn’t figure out what to do lmao). Besides that I hope you guys stick around longer around this blog. I’m not really active on here but I kind of started this series to start posting more and motivate myself to post more of my art.
For the future of this series, I probably won’t continue it like this. I may do a countdown for season 3 but I feel like this is an appropriate place to end things and I really don’t want to drag out this idea to the point I get of doing it. But who knows! I might do a daily thing but it probably won’t be grogu, ill get there when I get there.
Again I’m just really really happy people enjoyed this dumb little series that I started on a whim. It’s grown to a point where if I told myself earlier this year the impact it would have I’d laugh. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I don’t know how to end this im really sad its done but im glad its over too!! I’m gonna be posting a more coherent comic or something soon but thank you!! i can’t say that enough!!
I hope y’all continue to support this little blog and join me in whatever weird drawings ill do in the future!
-howdy
#also dont be afraid to send asks guys!!#SORRY IM VERY BAD AT WORDING THINGS AND#JUST#YEAH THANKS A LOT EVERYONE LOVE YALL#muah <3#there were some really funny tags on my posts that made me laugh really hard#might post my favorite ones#anyways!#guys please dont unfollow me now the series is done GUYS COME BACK#/j#weeeeeeeeee#howdy draws#grogu#baby yoda#the mandalorian#mando#daily poorly drawn grogu#din djarin#pedro pascal
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ahhh been too afraid to pm you but hi from a silent mutual!!
writing prompt: john and yorick chat while arthur sleeps :))
HI HELLO!! im also always too afraid to pm everyone! thank you so much for sending this in and so sorry it took me a while! been a very busy few days (:
"Is he fully asleep, my king?"
John groans in annoyance among the relative darkness he'd been sulking within. Ever since Arthur's eyes shut once he fell into an exhausted, heavy slumber nearly thirty minutes prior, he'd been reluctant to try and exercise what little muscle control he possessed to squint them open again. Manipulating those muscles usually woke him regardless of how careful he was, leaving him with a splitting headache neither of them could explain. And at the moment, John couldn't bring himself to disturb the hard won sleep, as fitful as it was.
Yes, he's asleep, he hisses impatiently. Yorick's voice came from somewhere to their left, still attached by the chain threaded around their waist. Arthur's right arm twitches, fingers scrabbling for some imaginary thing, before falling still.
"Excellent," says the skull. "Our master requires much rest after that entire ordeal."
Our master? John snorts. The subtle stirrings of a cool night's breeze brush against the skin of his left hand, welcome after the wet, stale air of the cave. He's your master, not mine.
"He is master to both of us!" Yorick exclaims, far too loudly. "Just as you are a king to him and myself. An inseparable pair, the dies irae, intertwined inexorably, dominion over one another and all else."
Jesus fucking Christ, John mutters, wishing he could wince. What does that even mean?
“Exactly as I said. Would you like me to repeat it?”
No, no. Can you quiet down? You're going to wake him.
“Certainly, my king.” His reply drops to a tone only slightly less loud than before.
And stop calling me that, he adds irritably. I'm not a king.
"You were once a king," Yorick states matter of fact, jaw clacking solidly as he speaks, a peculiarly troubling imitation of human life. "I do not see the issue with proclaiming this."
Once, he emphasizes. I'm not... I'm not that being any longer. I don't claim to be any kind of ruler anymore.
"Fair enough! What shall I call you if not a ruler, then?"
John, he grinds out, the last droplet of water among the barren desert of his patience threatening to dissolve. John is fine.
"Alright," Yorick says, sounding pleased. "King John, how may I serve you?"
John heaves a haggard sigh. Unbelievable, he groans, and attempts to turn his attention away for a brief, blissful second to collect what surely remained of his sanity.
The thing that called itself vanguard spoke incessantly. Within the caves, climbing out into rain-damp earth and sky, walking to find shelter for nightfall in the hopes of catching at least a few hours sleep - it had not stopped talking the entire way. John had half a mind to untangle Yorick from Arthur's belt when he wasn't paying attention and throw him as far as his eyes could see. He'd never liked the thought of the vanguard anyway, had never wanted Arthur to take the head, keep the tooth. Something about a creature which existed simultaneously in the Dreamlands, the Dark World and their own reality never sat well with him.
A hypocritical perspective, possibly, considering. Yet that similarity alone made him nervous, straddling a razor's cautious edge. He knew what he was capable of. Yorick remained a mystery.
They'd found an oak tree, its canopy stretching out far enough to provide cover from the last stray rain clouds rolling by, so long as Arthur kept curled at its trunk. He had fallen under almost immediately. One or two words exchanged between him and that damned skull, and he was out, John's name half formed on his lips in what sounded like the start of a question. It would likely be forgotten upon waking. Already Yorick was taking time meant for him.
Regardless, John knew him to be valuable, an asset they couldn't afford to get rid of. Certainly not now, with nothing to their names except the clothes Arthur wore and the bag he carried, no money, no food. If Yorick could be a wealth of information like he claimed, they'd have to put up with him a while longer.
And then John could toss him into a lake.
In the stretch of thankful silence, Yorick apparently finally listening to his demands, he reaches over and inspects what remained of the wound. Dried blood coated Arthur's wrinkled shirt close to his heart, stiffening the fabric. Laying his palm flat and hesitantly across his chest, John takes solace in the flighty pulse tangibly felt there. Not too long ago there was none at all.
Arthur murmurs something wordless under his touch. John retracts his hand quickly, mildly guilty at having potentially disturbed him.
“You dislike when he sleeps,” Yorick says. Despite his position by Arthur's hip, rolled sideways where he'd come to rest as they laid down on dry grass, his voice still seemed to come from somewhere else around them.
John waits a second for more to follow. Nothing comes - it's a statement, not an inquiry.
I don't dislike him sleeping, he huffs. He has to rest, obviously.
“Yet it troubles you regardless? The absence of him.”
I don't, John sputters out, struggling to keep his voice level. I'm not… lonely if that's what you're suggesting. Will you just shut up already? We're both going to wake him up at this rate.
“Our master is blind to the world in multiple senses of the word,” says Yorick. “Deep within a dream. He will not wake for some time.”
How do you know he's dreaming? he asks, perplexed. You can't… see into his mind, or-
“I know a great many things.” Another beat of silence, decorated by the cricket song in the surrounding brush shielding them from view. Again John waits for an explanation, growling agitatedly when none is forthcoming.
Such as? he prompts. What is he dreaming about?
“I do not know the specifics,” clacks Yorick. “Yet I'm aware of the turmoil of his thoughts. There is a string of piano keys tied like wire around his ankles, a bathtub overflowing, a yellow sun-”
Okay, I get the specifics! John mutters. So a nightmare, clearly.
“Precisely! Excellent conclusion, King John.”
He was starting to immediately regret accidentally adding John to that title. Is there a way we can help him, then?
As if on cue, subconsciously aware he was being discussed, Arthur lets out a low, pained breath of air. Instinctively John’s hand jolts to attention, fingers delicately skimming the wound like he would find answers or assistance there. His legs were twitching, again his arm reaching and then recoiling from something John couldn’t see or understand.
Nightmares were the only times he felt useful, whenever Arthur slept. Lingering in the corners of his mind, stuck between drifting into his own thoughts and keeping an active listen for anything that might hurt them while he was out - it wore him down in ways be couldn't explain. Yorick was right, even though John would rather revisit the Dark World than admit it. He did hate when Arthur had to sleep for the emptiness it left him with. Being able to wake him from a bad dream as soon as he caught the signs left him aware of a strange, disjointed sense of selfish pleasure. Even if it came at the risk of Arthur’s unhappiness, helping him out of a nightmare was one thing he could do consistently right.
“He will not wake until the nightmare is complete,” Yorick says nonchalantly. “He is too deep.”
Which will take how long?
“I know a great many things,” he says for the second time. “Yet this, I do not.”
Another whimper, softer than the last. John taps the side of his head, tugs at his shirt collar, goes so far as to flick his nose multiple times in a row, as hard as he could manage. Nothing caused him to stir. He could slap him, sure, but in this state he might break apart altogether.
Great. John heaves a sigh. So we just have to listen to this, then? Until he’s, what, done dreaming?
“That is correct. We could always pass the time discussing, my King.”
Discussing what? He snorts. The maggots we just crawled through? No thanks.
“Or,” Yorick adds, “you could always return your hand to his chest.”
What?
“Your hand,” he repeats, jaw clicking knowingly. “It is the one thing which calms the dreams. I’ve witnessed it many times before.”
You didn’t even have eyes, then, John says sardonically. What could you possibly have witnessed?
“I have no physical eyes now, but I can see you and the master. I was aware then, and in a way, I am aware now.”
In the shrouding blackness of Arthur’s slumber, John imagines the two points of white light where the prince’s eyes once rested staring sideways up at them, awash in tendrils of green smoke. Was this how Arthur felt all the time, kept in the dark, left to wonder how everyone was looking at him?
Carefully, he puts his hand back in the center of Arthur’s chest. Fingers splay out, one wooden pinky, the rest a thin collection of bruises and scars and broken, chipped nails. That fidgety pulse returns, a bird’s caught wing under his palm. The rhythm remains so for nearly a minute, stuttering and jumping to some melody John couldn’t follow along, and he’s about ready to give it up for nonsensical, stupid advice before he hears Arthur sigh.
It’s not the same troubled exhale as before. This one comes calmer, more even-keeled. As he focuses on his heartbeat he notices it begins to slow, calming bit by bit into a steady, softer pattern. Arthur’s movements drift to a halt. He shifts among the roots, mumbling something too quiet to comprehend, and eventually falls silent.
“He sleeps much like the dead in appearance,” Yorick states thoughtfully. “I believe the dream has come to a close, for now.”
Good, remarks John, at a loss for anything else to say. He wasn’t going to tell Yorick thank you; but it was tempting. The gentle rise and fall of Arthur’s breathing is a placid current, subtler than the new rain beginning to break through the clouds overhead in the night. He could plainly picture him, sprawled out uncomfortably, breeze touseling sweat damp hair, a downward curve in a mouth which always seemed to be frowning lately. Protected just enough beneath the oak, protected enough beneath John’s palm.
Well, at least one of us is content.
“I am much content, King John.”
That makes a total of two. Can you please shut the hell up now?
“If that is what you wish," the skull says amicably. "Then I will."
It is, John bites. Just thirty minutes of fucking silence. Please.
Yorick says nothing. Relief settles over him as the break distends. Minutes pass until he finally accepts his desire had been properly observed. Crickets sing around them once more.
Sleep well, he whispers, hand firmly over heart. Perhaps we can wait a little longer to get rid of him.
#malevolent#caspost#malevolent writing#is this a fic? i dont know#it was supposed to be 500 words but like#clearly i cant do drabbles i just can't#so it ended up uhhh#like 1.5k or more i think#ANYWAYS#yorick is challenging to do but fun!!#hope you like it (:#ellamenop#also how did i not realize you were the left arm#i fucking love that blog it has srsly made me laugh so hard as of late❤️#just so so good#going to tag as#malevolent 42 spoilers#just in case#malevolent fic
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