#also don’t even mention pregnancy around me I will legit feel sick
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vaulthuntersmybeloved · 4 years ago
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It’s gender rant to the void time because it’s 3am and I was dumb and took a shower and my dysphoria won’t let me sleep :)
Like I’ve never felt a connection to the concept of gender it’s just never been something I like believed in and like yeah I know it’s a ‘real thing’ but it’s also a social construct that evolves with time and is entirely subjective so like it’s just not been something I’ve connected with ever. Like from a young age AFAB me was always called “tomboy” because I never participated in traditionally feminine things like most of my friends were male and I spent most of my school time playing football with them and like that was fine because that’s what I wanted to do because intrinsically I knew I didn’t fit in with the other girls even if at that point I didn’t get why.
And then I went to secondary school, was the first openly bi person in my year and actually looked into lgbt communities online and stuff and saw non binary and trans posts and was like “huh that’s interesting” and then procrastinatinated on actually thinking about it just like I had done with my sexuality years prior (good job me u dumbass). And like it’s not like I was forced into gender roles and shit because it really wasn’t that bad like the occasional being forced into wearing a dress and makeup for fancy events and being joked at about grandchildren (which still happens now despite me saying for over 7 years I am never having kids ever not even adopting so like fuck me I guess). But like it was just small moments that made me extremely uncomfortable the rest was just me existing through life in a low state of uncomfortableness which I’d grown so used to I didn’t even realise it was there until the start of lockdown.
And then I begged my mum to cut my hair and got my first taste of gender euphoria and was like “well fuck” and then went on to realise most of my body and self esteem issues were actually gender dysphoria (and social anxiety but mostly gender dysphoria lol). So here we are a year later where I’ve come out to most of my closest friends and am now using they/them pronouns with them (not coming out to my family lmao they’re fine with being bi but being trans as well Oof) so like it’s helped immensely but also I have some major issues especially with internalised misogyny from where I had gender roles forced upon me and now I hold resentment for anything that’s vaguely feminine because like those are the things that made me feel so uncomfortable for such a long time I can’t stop the association of them being bad and like I know I’m doing it but like I’m not a therapist lol I can’t just undo years of it!
And like it’s funny looking back because like 14 year old me was saying shit like “gender is a social construct” so much that it basically became my catchphrase along with my “capitalism is bad” rants and like it’s so funny to me like i knew i was queer but didnt realise how queer 😂 But even now non binary doesn’t truly fit because labels are just ways of trying to categorise things so that we can understand them but it ends up oversimplifying the thing (e.g calling a platypus a mammal) so like yeah I am non binary because I am not part of the gender binary but like I just have no connection to gender at all like when I think about gender it’s in the context of me wanting to be either an elderich monster or a formless conscience and neither of them quantify into a human appearance so like where does that leave me. Non binary is a label I love because it gave me an escape from the gender binary and the freedom to truly express myself as me not what others wanted from me but also it doesn’t fit but that’s okay because it’s not meant to fit it’s meant to guide.
Anyways idk I’m just tired and wishing I could get top surgery despite knowing you’re not getting me within 10 meters of a hospital without my anxiety making me absolutely leg it also knowing I’d have to come out to my family before doing that so that’s another big no but hey I can dream and cry myself to sleep that I hate my body and anything I do is just mitigation not solving the problem
#rant time#gender rant time#non binary#idk man#it’s 3am you think I can be eloquent#this probably only makes sense to me but ehhhh#gender is a prison and I’m staging a prison break let’s gooooo#my gender is just ‘no’#but yeeee I have issues I need to work on#but like I’ve identified them and why and I’ve been doing better#but it’s hard when you’re still repulsed by most feminine things#also don’t even mention pregnancy around me I will legit feel sick#ironic as I’m doing marine bio and have to do zoology so it’s mentioned a lot#and like I just makes me so uncomfortable#I hate it when someone is like ‘oh this person is pregnant it’s great news’ and I’m like trying not to look horrified like ‘yeah greaaaat’#I hate it here#fuckin envy AMAB peeps even tho I know logically they don’t have it any better if they’re trans#but like the biology bullshit I have to put up with#if I wasn’t on birth control that stopped my periods I’d have actually jumped off a cliff by now#no joke#and also the fact that it was so painful I was throwing up for days that wasn’t fun never wanna do that again#gonna sell my eggs on the black market to pay for my uni loan 😂#it’s weird I can joke about that but not pregnancy that’s like my limit#I guess it’s because one I have experience with and the other I don’t and never want to#maybe that’s the real reason I’d rather date someone who’s AFAB#huh probably#anyways that was a tangent#sorry for the rant
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uwuwriting · 5 years ago
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Maybe pregnant hcs for Todoroki, Iida, Shinsou and Amajiki???💓💓💓💓💓
-Ohoho!!!! This right here just melts my hurt. Even thinking about it makes me weak.Plus a little heads up, everyone is having daughters cause I’m weak to the knees with the thought of these four and their babygirls so be prepared. Hope I don’t disappoint.💖💖💖
*All characters are aged up so around the ages of 20-25 and up*
Todoroki Shouto
-You and Shouto have been together since your second year in UA.
-You got married when you both got well acquainted with the hero life and now live a happy , yet busy, life in an apartment near his mom’s house. 
-We know that this boy would want his family to be close to him and the fact that you get along with everyone fills his heart with so much love. 
-You two never really talked about children.
-Maybe a few suggestions of having a child in the future but nothing serious.
-Que the morning sickness. 
-Shouto was really worried about you, I mean look at you.
-You’re emptying your guts in the toilet every single morning. 
-You can’t eat most foods that you used to like and have a weird craving for tuna yogurt?!
-He doesn’t want to leave the house, he even convinced you to take some days off and try to relax.
-Give your body rest.
-He promised to get some days off himself to take care of you.
-You had your suspicions, tbh.
-You just didn’t tell him.
-Whether that was to not get his hopes up or to post pone the heartbreak you didn’t really know.
-So what if you were mildly panicking over the fact that the 5 pregnancy tests you just took were all positive. 
-It was the first day of your mini ‘vacation’ and thankfully Shouto had been called in today.
-Because you’re panicking and legit losing your shit over this, you call....Rei.
-Okay maybe it wasn’t the best course of action considering you were on the verge of cardiac arrest, but what can you do.
-You asked her if she was home and if you could stop by.
-Of course she said yes, delighted to see you and mentioned that Fuyumi was also going to stop by in around an hour.
-You made your way to her house, arriving just as Fuyumi was pulling into the drive way.
-After greeting each other and going inside, you took your seats in the living room and waited for Rei to make some tea.
-Fuyumi was going on and on about what the kids at the kindergarten were doing and how cute some of them were being. 
-Neither of the Todoroki women had missed your puffy eyes or how your smile would constantly waver, but they decided to let you tell them on your own accord. 
-Once Rei joined you in the living room, they both turned to you.
- “So how have you been Y/n, dear?” Rei said watching you really closely. 
-You looked down, feeling hot tears starting to form in your eyes and your throat tightening painfully. 
-Fuyumi moved closer to you while Rei draped an arm around your shoulders which were shacking at the moment. 
- “I-I’m p-pregnant.” it was barely a whisper, but they heard it alright.
-Mom mode activated 2x.
-They reassured you that everything was going to be fine and how lucky you are.
-They repeatedly said how excited Shouto will be and what of a push over of a dad he would become.
-After 4 long hours of baby talk, you returned home, collapsing on the sofa before passing out for a good 3 hour nap.
-When you woke up, Shouto was home and sitting next to you weaving his fingers absentmindedly through your hair. 
- “Hey there sleepyhead.”
-How could his voice be so soft!?!?
-You buried your face into the blanket, which really confused him, I mean...what did he do?
- “We have a problem...” pause....awkward silence.... “I’m pregnant.”
-*Windows noises*
-After the mild stroke, he lifted you up so you were looking at him and just stared at you. 
-Those seconds that he just looked at you felt like eternity.  
-The torture ended however, when he lowered his head to your stomach and lifting your shirt, placed a small kiss right under your belly button.
- “Hey there, snowflake. Nice to meet you.”
-And with that, 9 exhausting months started full of mood swings, weird cravings, back rubs and a never ending list of baby names.
-You two learned you were having twins on your fifth appointment, but you decided to keep the gender a surprise. 
-On a cold January night your two girls were brought into the world and it was one of the few times you had seen Endeavour and Natsuo in the same room bawling their eyes out. 
-Your white haired baby was named Rei *after her grandmother* while your mixed red and h/c babygirl Ren. 
-When Shouto held them for the first time, you thought he was going to have a mental breakdown.
-He’s a total push over and your girls are daddy’s girls to the core.
-He’s the best dad they could ask for.
Iida Tenya
-You and Tenya have been married for 6 years now and have been trying endlessly for a baby.
-You both agreed that you were ready for the responsibility and that having a little Tenya running around the house sounded like a great idea.
-Saying that you were exhausted form the attempts was an understatement.
-Tenya had incredible stamina and even more libido, so you can safely assume that during the week long process of baby making you couldn’t walk straight.
-However, your little shenanigans stopped when your doctor delivered you the news.
-You had been hit by a blood related quirk while dealing with a villain and had to get a check up afterwards.
-You were given a scolding the moment you saw your doctor because why aren’t you in desk duty you RASCAL!?
-You were confused beyond belief and it was written all over your face.
- “You don’t know do you?” 
-Le sigh.
- “Mrs. Iida I’m happy to announce you that you’re expecting, so that means you are to be put in desk duty for the next 4 months or else I’m making sure you don’t leave the house for a good 9 months.”
-You. Were. Ecstatic. 
-You ran to Tenya’s agency, bringing down the damned door to his office giving the man a heart attack.
- “Y/n what’s-”
- “I’M PREGNANT!” 
-Que ecstatic air chopping. 
-Tenya went into full dad mode during those 9 months. 
-Buttt he’s also kinda nervous.
-Nervous like Tamaki in a crowd level nervous.
-You get the image.
-You have anything you want whenever you want it.
-The nursery is done the moment you find out you are having a gilr.
-Unlike Todoroki he isn’t patient enough to keep the gender a secret.
-When the day arrives, you’re just chilling outside with him when you nonchalantly blurt out ‘my waters broke’.
-....oh...oH.....OHSHIIIIIIIT.
- “WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?! GET UP! ARE YOU IN PAIN? CAN YOU WALK!?”
-This goes on until you are screaming and crushing his hand in the delivery room.
-Your little girl is born and she’s a carbon copy of Tenya.
-Same colored hair and eyes.
-The face structure looks like you.
-She has your nose and mouth, along with your eyebrows but apart from that she’s a mini genderbend Tenya.
-Because she was born early in the morning you decided to change her name and so little Asami Tenya was officially a part of this world.
-Tenya cried.
-You cried.
-Asami cried.
-You were one happy crying family.
Shinsou Hitoshi
-You and Hitoshi have been together for two years now, but you haven’t put a ring on it.
-Sure you live together and act like a married couple already but you’re not Mrs.Shinsou.....yet.
-You have been feeling strange for days now and your period was late which never happens.
-You are panicking but unlike Shouto you two aren’t married.
-He can leave with almost no complications.
-You were his girlfriend not his wife.
-The pregnancy tests you had taken were mocking you from the bathroom sink and your poor hormone ridden mind couldn’t handle the stress.
-You cried a river until you heard keys jiggling and HItoshi’s iconic ‘Kitten, I’m home!’
-You couldn’t face him like this.
-In a haste you shoved the tests into the laundry basket along with their packages and covered them with some sheets. 
-Fixing your hair and washing your face, you straightened and walked out the door.
-After greeting Hitoshi with a kiss you calmly told him to go get ready while you made him something to eat.
-Your mind was running laps thinking how you could tell him or how you could solve your little problem as quietly as possible.
-That is until he walked in holding what seemed to be a box.
-A pregnancy test box.
-HOW CAN YOU BE BLIND?
- “Y/n, what’s this?”pause “Are you..?”
-Anddd more crying.
-You sobbed about how sorry you were and how you couldn’t explain how it happened.
-Both of you were so careful, how did this happen???
-After a good 15 minutes of you bawling your eyes out on the kitchen floor while Hitoshi was trying to calm you down, you finally stopped at the sound of his chuckle. 
- “Well, damn kitten, your surprise definitely beat mine.”
-Then he pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and watched you closely.
-Now you are Mrs.Shinsou.
-These 9 months weren’t as bad as you would expect.
-Hitoshi was really good at giving you everything you wanted and during the whole pregnancy you didn’t lift a finger.
-One October night your waters broke and you found yourself in a long procedure of bringing your child into the world. 
-Hitoshi was a wreck and had called Aizawa for emotional support who called Hizashi who called Midnight.
-Once you were finished, Hitoshi rushed into your room and found you utterly exhausted.
-He was the first to hold your baby and you have never seen him cry this much in your life. 
- “Hello my little Kei.”
-Kei Shinsou was a happy little girl with an amazing father by her side.
Amajiki Tamaki
-Ah love.
-Something Tamaki found during high school and held onto it ever since. 
-Now a well known pro hero, Suneater was more than happy with his life with you.
-He always wanted a little something more but never expressed it. 
-He loved the idea of having a mini you running around the living room or waking him up in the morning with little squeals and kisses.
-He loved you to the moon and back, more than life itself but having a kid with you sparked a whole new sensation in him.
-So he tried to be sly about it.
-Forgetting the condoms or to pull out.
-You not being able to find your pills.
-A whole lot of fun. 
-You were newly weds and your libidos were high af and with the prospect of children on the table Tamaki became 10x more driven and horny.
-So you weren’t all that surprised when your doctor gave you the news. 
-You had gone for a plain old check up when he came into the room with a bright smile on his face and congratulations falling like a waterfall from his mouth. 
-Once back home you put your plan in motion. 
-You had a feeling Tamaki was trying to knock you up for some time now.
-He couldn’t forget to pull out every time like come on.
-But you were fine with it since you too wanted a kid with him.
-You just would’ve liked a little heads up first.
-You made your little bun and put it in the oven.
-And waited.
-And waited.
-And waited.
-Until finally Tamaki walked through the door,  a smile gracing his features as he made his way to you.
- “Hey bunny.”
-Giving him a quick peck you told him to check the oven real quick to make sure the food was all good.
-He obliged, walking to the kitchen and seeing the sole bun sitting in the oven.
-He was beyond confused on why you would only make one bun in the oven and not more, I mean you are two peop- ohhhh.
-OH.
-He did it. 
-He let the news settle in before going back to you.
- “Are you sure?” nod “100% sure?” another nod.
-At that he fell to his knees in front of you, attacking your stomach with kisses and I love yous.
-To whom they were directed you couldn’t actually tell but you were happy either way.
-Calls the baby butterfly.
-Makes the whole nursery along with Mirio who is ecstatic.
-Butterfly themed baby room.
-Expect many back and belly rubs along with Tamaki coming home early because Fatgum cannot allow him to stay at work when he’s preparing for a baby.
-When your waters break you are buying some onesies with small octopuses on them.
-You have never been taken to the hospital so fast in your whole hero career. 
-After many painful and stressful hours, your baby girl is born and she’s stunning.
-She has Tama’s ears and hair but your eyes and nose. 
-She’s a perfect mix. 
-The Big 3 cry as a team.
-When she’s given to him, Tamaki just cry laughs at how gorgeous she’s.
-Many thank yous are exchanged.
- Cho Amajiki.
-Tamaki cannot stop repeating the name even after they have taken her away.
-He curls on the chair next to you, holding your hand the whole night, falling into a deep sleep, imaging his new life with his little butterfly. 
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houseof-harry · 5 years ago
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What Happened in Jersey Pt. 3 | G.D.
A/N - YALL! Buckle up, I’ve been working on this part for legit a week and I’m proud of how it came out. It’s a little long, but so much happens so get excited! Let me know what you think! Read Part 2 here!!!
Word Count - 7.6K
Warnings - mentions of smut
***
Recap:
“Don’t freak yourself out, though. He’s a good guy,” Jessie sighs. You rub your hands over your stomach, getting lost in your thoughts. That’s when you remember something very important that you don’t know about Grayson.
“What’s his number?”
“Grayson’s?” Jessie laughs out.
“No, my other baby daddy,” you joke.
“I’ll give it to you and then we’ll head to breakfast?” You sit up and nod.
“Thank god that’s over. Things can only get better from here, right?”
***
The next couple of weeks were pretty nice and uneventful. You got Grayson’s number and, as he said, you texted every day. You’d actually Facetime a lot, too. He says it’s because he wants to see the baby bump once it starts to come in.
You would tell him about your day, related to the pregnancy and not, and he would tell you about his adventures with Ethan and all the things he found doing his research on the internet. He keeps you updated on the fruit or vegetable that’s continuing to grow inside you as the time passes. He tried to find any solution he can to your morning sickness that has persisted. He even sent you a couple care packages with the things you said you craved, but it usually would come too late for you to enjoy. The look of the foods would make you nauseous, but your roommates loved the free treats.
The great part of all of this is that you have a relationship forming with your baby daddy, who will inevitably be in your life forever.
The bad part of all of this is that you are definitely falling for him.
You had a crush on him, and to be quite frank who wouldn’t. This hot guy has not only been talking to you every day, checking in with you and making sure you’re okay, but you’re literally pregnant with his baby. From having hot ass sex in the bathroom at New Year’s.
So it was safe to say you were into him. Which terrified you. Because there was no way he was into you. You were constantly ready for him to just never respond again, or for him to totally drop you and your baby for someone else, someone else with way less baggage. So you would do your best to keep it friendly and push him away whenever you felt like things were getting past friendly. You know, the healthy way to deal with your emotions.
Little to your knowledge, Grayson definitely had it worse than you. A part of him believed this was the universe giving him a huge ass sign that this was his future. You and your baby together were the beginning of your future as a family. But, he also recognizes that he is a hopeless romantic and has done this many times before. However, never with a baby involved and he was terrified of scaring you away. So he would try his best to keep everything friendly. Of course, he always miserably failed.
Your roommates and friends were definitely catching on to what was happening. They knew you were talking to the guy you met over winter break. However, you still managed to keep the news of the pregnancy to yourself. Given, you used bribery as your main mode of keeping their excited minds at bay, but if it works then it works. If they brought up your sickness or any of your other odd behavior, you’d remind them of the free food from the care packages you would give them and if they wanted it to continue, they should be minding their business. A bit harsh, but they wouldn’t let up otherwise.
You managed to get to spring break without anyone asking the big question, and you were grateful for it. You weren’t sure how you’d lie to them.
Your best friend’s house would be a different story. Anna will notice every little change in you that’s happened since you last saw her in December, and you definitely would not be able to come up with a lie to explain it all away. So you decide that as soon as she asks, you’d spill.
That actually went pretty smoothly. She was supportive and excited for you. However, she didn’t trust Grayson one bit and had even found his Instagram (despite you withholding his last name) and showed you his 9 million followers. This made you spiral a bit. Were you ruining his career? Did he have a life in LA he could never leave for your baby? Is he going to bring all these influencers around your baby?
Before you can control your actions, you’re facetiming Grayson.
His bright smile pops up on your screen. “Hey sweet girl, what’s up?” Every time he calls you that it makes you feel warm inside. It terrifies you because you don’t want to get to attached to him when you’re just friends. Who are having a baby together. Just friends who are having a baby together.
When he notices your furrowed brow and your lack of a smile, his happiness vanishes and is replaced with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Anna showed me your Instagram,” you mumble. You’re almost embarrassed. You sound like a child. You instantly regret calling him.
“Anna did what?” He brings the phone closer to him so he can hear better.
“Anna found your Instagram and showed it to me.” “Oh.” You nod. “What…what did you think? Pretty douchy?” This makes you giggle as you shake your head. He lets out a breath once he sees your small smile.
“No. Just a lot of followers and stuff. I didn’t know you guys were that well known or anything.”
He coughs awkwardly and nods. “Uh, yeah. Is that okay?”
You sigh and frown. Your intention was never to make him feel bad about it.
“Of course. It’s your job, and your passion. I love watching you edit and stuff. You never have to be scared of what I think, I’ll always support you. Just intimidates me a bit, knowing that eventually 9 million people are going to be involved in my life.”
“We will do everything we can to keep you and our strawberry safe and off social media for as long as you want. Ethan already knows that’s the plan too and we’ve been filming some random videos for if we are ever out of commission for a little while for you guys.”
Thinks makes you smile while your features soften. You bite your lip, deciding on whether or not you should share all of your concerns.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Grayson has gotten really good at reading you, even over the phone. You’d like to think it’s the emotions of the pregnancy that give you away, but he’ll catch you even when you think you’re hiding it well.
“I dunno.” You shrug and look away, bringing your knees to your body.
“Liar. Come on, what’s going on? I can’t help make you feel better if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
Your bottom lip quivers as you try your best to stop the tears from clouding your vision. He was always so nice to you, and it made you wanna cry every time.
“I don’t know. It just got me thinking about how your life is in LA and eventually you’ll meet someone out there and then I’ll be here just figuring things out alone. I don’t know, scares me sometimes to think about it.” You refuse to look at him while you speak and you’re met with silence at first.
“Y/N, why are you always waiting for something to go wrong? I’m dedicated to our baby for the rest of forever, and I’m dedicated to you too,” he sighs. He looks like he’s about to say something else but decides against it.
“Sorry. It’s hard for me to trust people easily. Not that you’ve done anything wrong, you’ve actually done everything you could. I just-“ you bite your lip, hesitant to continue. Maybe you shouldn’t be loading your trauma onto him right before bed.
“Hey, I get it. It’s okay. Every time you’re scared of any of that, remember you’re not in it alone and we’re going to do everything together, good and bad. Plus, we get to finally see each other again in a couple of days. And, we get to see baby on the screen.” He smiles, rubbing his chest. His reminder makes you wipe under your eyes as you nod. “Plus, I’ve planned a day in the city for us and Ethan to do some fun shit.  It’s gonna be a good week, sweet girl. Can I see your smile?” This instantly makes you smile and he can’t stop cheesing either.  “It’s late there. You should be sleeping. Are you good to sleep? Or do you wanna stay on the phone a bit longer?”
You look at the clock and see it’s 1 am. Your eyes widen as you take a big breath in. “Uh, yeah I should go to bed. You don’t have to stay on with me, I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do.” You start to get under your covers, laying back.
“I’m gonna get in bed, too. We can stay on for a bit until you fall asleep. Gotta rest up for our strawberry.”
You breathe deeply through your nose to calm your emotions before agreeing. Maybe having his presence there, even over the phone, will make you feel better.
You get under your covers and settle in, putting your phone on the pillow next to you. It was nice hearing his breathing, and you closed your eyes.
“Thank you,” you mumble, barely audible. You assume he doesn’t even hear it. Hell, he might be asleep already.
“Anything for my sweet girl.” You hear him breathe out.
Your body instantly relaxes, and you’re finally able to fall asleep.
***
Wednesday quickly rolls around and before you know it, you’re on the road to your appointment.
Grayson would be meeting you at the office. You had sent him the address yesterday after his flight got in. You felt bad for having a morning appointment because he’s three hours behind coming from California on top of the fact that he had a farther drive. That was the only appointment you could get for that week, though.
You get a call from him when you’re five minutes away.
“Hey Gray.” You know you sound nervous, but you hope he ignores it.
“Hey. I’m here. Want me to wait in the parking lot or should I go in?” You can hear the roughness of his voice, he must be exhausted.
“Uh, wait in the parking lot. It’s a big building, kinda hard to navigate. I’m only five minutes away.”
“Perfect, I’m in the orange truck. See you soon”
You smile, but remember he can’t see you. “Okay, see you soon.” You hang up and the butterflies instantly begin in your tummy.
The last time you were with Grayson in person he was making you pregnant. You hoped that the last month and a half of talking will make it easy to be in person with him, but you never know. What if it’s awkward and uncomfortable?
You pull into the parking lot and you see his truck instantly. Not many people have orange pickups in your area. Or in general, you’d assume. You pull into the spot next to his passenger side door. He looks up when your car pulls in, and his bright smile is painted across his face. He’s jumping out of his car before you’ve even stopped yours. You grab your purse and get out, closing the door and looking up. He’s antsy on his feet waiting at the back of the cars for you to walk to him.
“Hi sweet girl.” He opens his arms as you walk towards him and you allow your body to collide with his. His arms are around you in an instant and you hold him close to you by his torso. It feels like the world has stopped. He smells clean and fresh, just like he did the last time and it overwhelms your senses.
He rubs your back, not moving away from you and you definitely don’t complain. Hugging him has made you feel calmer than you had felt since you first found out you were pregnant. He was a safe haven while the rest of the world continued to go on.
Eventually, you turn your head to look up at him, keeping him in your arms, your chin resting on his chest with a wide smile plastered on your face. “Hey.”
“How are you feeling? Excited?” He smooths one of his hands over your hair before cupping your cheek.
You nod. “Yeah. It’ll be the first appointment where I can hear the heartbeat. I’m just excited to see our baby.”
He smiles. “Our baby, yeah. God, it’s so good to be here with you. Good to hold you.” He squats down and holds your stomach, his face coming close to your slightly pudgy belly. Your hands rest on his shoulders while your cheeks heat up.
“Hi, baby. It’s nice to finally meet you. Thanks for watching out for your mama, she doesn’t actually like being alone as much as she says she does.” You laugh at this, rubbing your hand over the spot he’s talking to.
“We need to go in if we wanna be on time.” You grab his wrists and pull him back up. He puts a hand on your lower back as you start to walk.
You make it into the building, check in, and are called back. The nurse gets everything she needs from you and leaves you and Grayson alone in the exam room.
He’s pacing around as you sit on the exam table, refusing to look.
“What’s up?” You interrupt his thoughts, a concerned look on your face.
“Huh? Oh. It’s just crazy that I’m meeting our baby for the first time today. Really wild. In a good way though.” He smiles and walks next to you. Before you can respond, there’s a knock and then your doctor is walking in.
“Hey, Y/N.” He smiles at you.
“Hi Dr. Jordan.” You wave.
“And you must be the father. Dr. Jordan, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He holds his hand out to Grayson and he shakes it.
“Grayson,” is all he says.
“So, we’re having a baby?” His smile widens as you and Grayson both nod back.
“Yeah, we are,” you respond.
“Let’s cut to the chase then and check up on ‘em. How does that sound?” He moves around, getting the ultrasound machine ready to go.
“Really good.” You smile at Grayson and he gives you a small one back. You can see he’s really nervous, so once you lay back and lift your shirt to just below your boobs, you’re grabbing his hand in yours. This appears to ground him a bit as he starts breathing normally again.
The doctor moves your pants down a bit so they’re out of the way before grabbing the gel.
“It’s going to be a bit cold.” You nod and gasp when the gel hits your skin, gripping Grayson a bit harder, a shiver running up your spine. Grayson squeezes you back and you look at him. He’s watching the screen as the doctor moves the wand around.
Dr. Jordan is quiet for a little while you watch him. All of a sudden, you hear a thumping from the machine and Dr. Jordan smiles.
“That’s a heartbeat, guys.” Your free hand goes over your heart, your eyes filling with tears. Grayson looks close to crying too. He lifts your hand to kiss the back of it.
“Baby looks nice and healthy, growing at the right rate. Y/N, I’m gonna ask you to get a blood draw and to leave a urine sample, but otherwise you guys are good to go. Any questions?” Dr. Jordan asks while he wipes the gel off your stomach.
You and Grayson both look at each other, tears still threatening to spill and smiles on your face. You shake your head, unwillingly looking away and back at Dr. Jordan. “No, I think we’re good.”
Dr. Jordan smiles at the both of you. “Sounds good. Call us if you ever have any questions, okay? And congratulations, I’m excited for you both.” He stands and leaves.
You let go of Grayson’s hand to sit up and adjust your clothes. He continues to stand there just watching you. When you hop off and look up at him, a tear has rolled down his cheek.
“Are you okay?” Your brows pull together in concern and you grab his biceps lightly, rubbing up and down. This seems to snap him out of his trance a bit.
“Uh, yeah. That was just really incredible. We met our baby today. You’re growing our baby in here,” he puts both hands on your stomach and you giggle.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Thank you.” He looks so sincerely into your eyes, making you blush.
“You ready to go?” You ask, walking away from him to grab your purse. This man is way too powerful to be making you feel a certain type of way. You are two friends having a baby. A friend baby.
He looks a bit hurt for a moment but quickly recovers. “Uh, yeah.” He walks to the door and opens it for you.
You get your tests all done and figured out, and schedule your next appointment for around Easter so that you’d have an excuse to be home from school. Before you know it, you and Grayson are walking out of the doctor’s office. He’s got an arm around your shoulder as you approach your cars.
“Can I bring you and strawberry to lunch? I don’t wanna leave you guys yet,” he says sheepishly, almost like he was nervous to ask you.
“Sure,” you smile up at him and wrap your arm around his waist. He lets out a breath of air he had been holding in and relaxes a bit.
“Cool. I’ll drive us and bring you back here after. Don’t need you woozy behind the wheel after your blood draw.” He rubs your shoulder.
“How is it that we are literally having a baby together and you somehow treat me like I’m the baby?” You laugh.
“One day you’ll let me take care of you,” he chuckles, shaking his head as you part ways to get into his truck.
You get into the passenger seat, buckling in. You were floating on cloud nine, it felt like you and Grayson were actually a little family.
Your thoughts are interrupted when he gets into his seat and adjusts.
“Can I ask you something?” He asks while he buckles.
“Of course.”
“Do you think we could, like, record a little video update or something?” You raise your brows, a bit confused.
“Of what?”
“Just like our thoughts and reactions and stuff. I was thinking I could put a video together at the end of all this for us and our baby when we’re all older and wanna remember. It wouldn’t go on YouTube or anything, not unless you wanted it to. And you probably don’t know a better video editor to do this project,” he bites his lip and raises his eyebrows while trying to gauge your reaction.
Your eyes are suddenly filled with tears again, thinking about how much Grayson really loves this baby. You nod and wipe under your eyes. “Yeah, that’d be cute,” you squeak out, not trying to let on how affected you are buy his words.
“Hey, don’t cry.” He moves his hand to rub your thigh. “Only good things, sweet girl.”
You nod and laugh. “I know. Everything makes me cry now.” You sniffle and breath in, collecting yourself a bit. “I’m ready, let’s do it.”
He reaches into his pocket and brings his phone out, holding it up so that you’re both in the frame. He starts to record and you watch the both of you on the screen. “Hello to whoever is lucky enough to be shown this video.” This makes you giggle, and he smiles. “We just got out of our first appointment together and saw our little baby for the first time.” He instinctively puts his hand on your stomach and your hand goes on top of his. “If you’re our precious baby watching this, we are so excited to meet you. Your mama and I already love you so much.” This makes you squeeze his hand and he looks over to you. “Anything you wanna say?”
“I dunno. What do you think I should say?” You giggle, your cheeks flushing when you meet his eyes.
“Anything you’ll wanna remember in a couple years. I know it’s weird talking to a camera at first, but I’ll cut this all out.” His gaze is kind and patient while you think of what you want to say.
“It’s still so surreal that I’m even pregnant, but hearing our baby’s heartbeat today has made me so grateful I’m able to be in this position. I’ve been so excited to be a mom my whole life, so if you’re my beautiful baby watching, thank you for making my dreams come true.” You smile at the camera and Grayson keeps his eyes on you. You look to him expectantly.
He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts before turning to look at the camera.
“We’re about to go feed mama and baby now, as long as they’re feeling good of course. If baby is watching this still, thank your mom for all she went through for you when she was growing you, she’s working hard,” he chuckles and you laugh.
“I’m feeling good right now. Want a turkey BLT, actually.”
“What the woman wants, she gets. We’ll see you whenever the next exciting thing happens.” He turns the recording off and puts his phone away, starting the car.
“That’s gonna be really cute,” you sigh, the smile still sitting on your face.
“Yeah, I think it’ll be nice to have when we want to look back on all of this,” he pauses. “Do you know somewhere nearby with good sandwiches?”
“Yeah, there’s a deli like five minutes from here.”
You and Grayson head to the deli and have a nice lunch. Well, you do. Grayson eats a plain roll and pickles because all of the sandwiches had meat on them. You felt really bad, but he assured you it was okay because your little strawberry was craving a BLT.
Once you finish your sandwich, you notice he’s kind of zoned out.
“Grayson?” You look at him, folding your trash up while he just stares at you.
“Come stay with me for the rest of your break,” he blurts out all of a sudden. Your eyes widen.
“What?”
“Come stay for the next few days. We’re not going to get a lot of time together until you’re already halfway through everything.”
You start laughing awkwardly. “Grayson, I can’t just live with your family for a few days, they don’t know me. We don’t really know each other. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
He opens his mouth to rebuttal, but closes it again to think for a moment.
“It’s okay, Grayson. We don’t have to act like any of this is normal, we don’t have to force anything. Everything you’ve done for me has really been for strawberry. Don’t feel like you have any obligation to me.”
Grayson looks a bit hurt by your words, but nods. “Ready to go?” He stands up.
You sigh and nod, getting up with him. You throw your trash out and walk out with him. His hand doesn’t reach for you.
When you’re both settled back into his car, he sighs out your name so that you’ll look at him.
“I know this is all weird and stuff, but we’re going to have to be friends to raise this baby together. And my friends have come to stay with me at this house before. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Nine months isn’t a long time to start, never mind the fact that we won’t really see each other until you graduate, and I want us to be in the best place possible for our baby.” He starts the car, not looking at you while he finishes speaking.
“I’m sorry I got weird. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything for me.” You cross your arms, trying to shrink into the cushions of your seat.
“You’re right, technically I don’t. But I’m not a piece of shit and I plan on being a good dad. Plus, any friend of Jessie’s is a friend of mine, so even if you hadn’t gotten pregnant, we still would have hung out whenever you were in Jersey. I do what I want, and this is what I want to do.” He stops at a red light and looks at you for a second to see a pout on your lips. “And I hate being the reason you don’t smile. So, if you wanna, come stay with me for the next few days let’s do it, but if that makes you uncomfortable you should stay with Anna. We’re in the same boat, we both don’t have do anything we don’t want to.”
You sit there silently, pondering for a moment. A part of you dwells on the fact that he said you guys are friends, but friends don’t have other friend’s babies and then have them stay at their house with their family. The other part of you wants to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy your time with him before he moves on to start a life with someone for real.
“I’ll come,” you mumble. It almost surprises you more than Grayson that that’s your answer. You’re gonna blame the hormones for making you so impulsive.
“Okay.” His smile grows across his face. “Do you wanna come tomorrow morning so that you can have one more night with Anna?”
“Yeah, they’re gonna want to have dinner with me tonight if I’m not going to see them for a while.”
You guys pull back into the doctor’s office parking lot and he brings you back to your car. He parks and turns to you.
“I’m really excited to spend time with you, Y/N. Besides the fact you’re pregnant with my kid, you’re pretty funny sometimes,” he laughs. You scoff jokingly, biting your lip as you look at him.
“Sometimes? Well I think your jokes are cheesy.”
“Oh, do you now? Is that why you laugh every time?”
“Shut up,” you laugh with him, unbuckling your seatbelt.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? And don’t freak yourself out about meeting my mom, she’s excited to meet you. She’s really excited to meet the amazing woman giving her a grandchild.”
Your eyes widen a bit. “I forgot I was going to meet her. Now I’m more freaked out than before.” You wondered how you’d even introduce yourself to her. Hi I’m Y/N, your son and I hooked up literally once and are now having a baby.
“Hey, get out of your head, sweet girl. I told you, she’s excited. You’ll get along well, anyways. You’re pretty similar people.” He leans over to rub your thigh.
“Okay, I trust you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You squeeze his hand and open the door to get out. You turn to close the door and it looks like he wants to say something, but doesn’t. You wave and shut the door before getting back in your car.
What the hell did you get yourself into?
***
Grayson walks back into his house, almost body slamming Ethan by accident.
“Dude, watch out. Were you sitting here waiting for me the whole time?” He jokes, an annoyed Ethan rubbing his chest where Grayson’s shoulder hit him.
“No, stupid. I was going to take the quad for a ride. How’d the appointment go?” He watches Grayson put his keys down.
“Good. We heard the heartbeat and stuff, everyone’s healthy.” Grayson smiles to himself just thinking about it.
“It took, like, three hours for the doctor just to tell you that? Ma and I were scared something bad happened.”
“Nah, I took Y/N to lunch after because she really wanted a sandwich and it’s usually hard for her to even eat anything that early.”
“Oh, a date?” Ethan raises his brow as Grayson turns to him. Grayson rolls his eyes.
“No. A ‘you’re pregnant with my baby thanks for growing it’ lunch.”
“Yeah, okay. You’re gonna lie and tell me you’re not already in love with her or some shit?”
“E,” Grayson groans.
“No dude, you have to be careful. She’s going to be a part of your life forever now. Don’t fuck it up by falling too fast and then moving on. She’s not one of your ‘soulmates.’ She’s the mother of your kid. Just be smart.” Ethan opens the door and goes outside.
Grayson stands there for a minute, considering what Ethan said. He’s right, he can’t get caught up in any feelings he has for you because whatever relationship you have, it has to last forever. He knows he has the tendency to fall fast and then move on fast, too. He can’t do that with you.
***
You say your goodbye’s to Anna and her family before you head off to Jersey. You decide to call Grayson instead of texting him to let him know you’ve left. He picks up on the fourth ring.
“Hey, what’s up? Everything okay?”
This makes you laugh. “Yeah, the only time something is wrong is when I call you and something is wrong is at night. I just wanted to let you know I left so I’ll be there in an hour.”
“Oh, good. Okay. Can I make any breakfast for you?”
“Absolutely not. Can’t eat right now.”
“I’m sorry.” He pauses. “I’m gonna go to the store right now, tell me what you need.” You hear him shuffle around on the other end.
“What I need? Nothing,” you giggle.
“Oh my god my baby mama doesn’t even use shampoo I think I’m the one who has morning sickness now,” you hear him fake gag which makes you laugh harder.
“Grayson, I’ve got little toiletries and stuff. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you to be fine, I want you to be comfortable. Now tell me what I’m buying you because I’m already in the car.”
You list off all the products you use, the snacks have been your favorites, and he even says he’s going to get facemasks for you all to do.
When you pull into the long driveway, the butterflies erupt in your stomach. You had absolutely no clue how this would go, but there was no turning back now. You couldn’t, the driveway was too narrow to do that.
You reach the house and pull up next to the other cars in the driveway. You see Grayson sitting on the porch, which makes you laugh.
You turn the car off and go to gather your things when you hear your door open. You turn and see a giddy Grayson standing there.
“Hey.”
You laugh. “Hi there.”
“Where’s your stuff?”
“My bag is in the back seat.” He moves to grab your bag as you get your purse and hop out of the car, closing your door. He does the same once he’s got your bag on his shoulder.
“Welcome to the humble abode,” he says as he leads you by putting his hand on your back. You walk to the door and he opens it, letting you step in first.
“It is so nice in here.”
“My mom is super into décor and stuff. Wanna see where you’re staying?” You nod and he leads you to a closed door. When you look inside you see a bed next to… the washing and drier machine? You give him a questioning look.
“So we don’t have a guest room and I moved my bed into here because Ethan is annoying and I can’t share a room with him anymore. I’ll sleep on the couch.” You nod, walking inside. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not ideal. Ethan and I are gonna look for our own place when we’re back for the summer.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve slept in way worse place,” you giggle and he raises his brow.
“Alright, won’t ask. Ethan’s been low key dying to see you, even if he won’t admit it. He’s excited to meet his little niece or nephew.”
“Well I can’t deny him of that, can I? Where is he?”
Grayson leads you out into the main area. Ethan’s sitting at the dining table on his computer when he looks up and sees you. He’s immediately jumping up out of his seat.
“Y/N!” He runs over, but is stopped short by Grayson’s hand on his chest.
“Chill, bro. She’s pregnant. Don’t tackle her.”
Ethan rolls his eyes, ignoring him and keeping eye contact with you. “Hi.”
“Hi,” you giggle. He looks at you expectantly. You’re fully laughing now as you grab his hand and put it on your stomach. He’s falling to his knees instantly, his other hand going to the other side of your tummy.
“Hey baby. I know you don’t have ears or anything yet, but this is Uncle E talking to you. You have a whole bunch of people out here waiting for your arrival, but I’m definitely the most excited.” Grayson slaps the back of his head. “Ow. Okay, most excited besides your parents. I’ll be the cool uncle and all that.” He stands back up, looking at you again. “Sorry. Hi, how are you?” He laughs.
“I’m good, how are you?” You giggle.
“Good, yeah,” he nods. You all just stand there for a second looking at one another.
“Okay, we’re getting all the awkward out now because I refuse to be treated like the random hookup who got pregnant. Okay?” You look at the both of them and they look a bit surprised by your boldness. “Sorry, I’ve lost the little filter I had before.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Awkward is all gone now. Let’s give you a tour.” Ethan puts an arm around your shoulder and brings you into the kitchen, leaving Grayson where he’s standing. He follows behind you, his hands in his pockets while he watches the both of you interact.
You and Ethan get along really well. After your initial moment, it seems like you’d actually be really good friends. You felt bad for not talking to him more over winter break.
Grayson is not a huge fan. He’s sitting on the sidelines watching you talk and laugh while Ethan tells you all about the new video they’re editing right now. Before Grayson can cut in, Lisa walks in.
She smiles. “You must be Y/N.”
You stand from your chair, giving a soft smile as you wipe your sweaty hands on your leggings. “Hi, Mrs. Dolan. It’s really nice to meet you.” You hold your hand out to her and she laughs, pulling you into a hug.
“Honey, call me Lisa.” She rubs your back before pulling away and holding your elbows to look you in the eyes. “How’re you feeling?”
“Good!”
“Really? That’s good! These two put me through hell when I was pregnant with them. Can I get you anything?” You shake your head.
“No, I’m okay for now.”
“Just trying not to puke?” You laugh and nod. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I’d know that face anywhere. Your first trimester is almost over, so you should be feeling better soon. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” She squeezes your arms before stepping back.
“Of course. Thank you for letting me stay.”
“This home is as much yours as it is Grayson’s now. You’re welcome here any time.” You smile and nod.
“Alright, you’re all gonna scare her away. Y/N, come see upstairs?” Grayson interjects and a part of you is relieved. Even though things were going really well, you were still on edge. You nod and go to follow him upstairs.
“I’m sorry about that, they just want you to feel comfortable here.” He leads you into a bathroom and shuts the door, making you laugh. “What?”
“The last time we were in this situation I got pregnant.” He starts laughing with you and you let your hand fall onto his shoulder.
Once you calm down, you smile widely at him. “They’re good people. Nice people. I’m sorry if I seem rude or off, I was just so anxious.”
He nods and pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back. You melt into him snuggling into his warm chest.
“It’s okay, they definitely understand. Plus, you didn’t seem anything but positive and happy. I couldn’t even tell you were trying not to puke.” You can feel his laugh rumble up through his chest.
“I’m still trying not to,” you laugh with him and he pulls back holding your shoulders to inspect your face. “I’m not gonna. Probably.” He raises his eyebrow. “Okay, if I do I’ll tell you so you can leave.” His face falls at that.
“No, I’ll sit with you and rub your back and all that. Get you water and stuff.” You’re shaking your head immediately.
“I hate puking in front of people. It’s okay, I’ve been doing it for weeks now. I’ve got a routine.” He pouts and pulls you back into a hug.
“I’m sorry. Please tell me if I can do literally anything for you.”
“You do enough, Gray. Don’t worry about it,” you mumble into his chest.
“What do you usually do to feel better?”
“Anything to distract myself. I just need to not think about it.”
“Challenge accepted.” He removes himself completely from you, opening the door. “Let’s go.”
The rest of the day with the Dolans is great. Grayson was right, you and Lisa are very similar and get along almost as well as you and Ethan do. You’re grateful they’re being so kind to you. Grayson is happy you’re getting along with his family, but it also makes him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while. Jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit that he likes having all of your attention, but he can’t act like he doesn’t want it all the time. When you’re on the phone with him, you’re usually alone. He liked when he got to hear about your day and then he got to open up to you. What can he say, he’s a selfish man.
That’s why when the night is winding down, he asks his family if you guys can watch a movie alone. Lisa goes up to her room for the night, but Ethan isn’t so kind at first.
“What, you don’t want me to crash your date?” He sits beside you on the couch where you’re right next to Grayson. Your cheeks blush and Grayson rolls his eyes.
“Shut the fuck up, E. Go away, you’ve harassed her all day.”
You open your mouth to say something but Ethan beats you to it.
“What if she likes spending time with me? After all, I am the better twin.”
“Bro if you don’t stop talking, I’ll fucking hit you.” “Yeah Gray? Doubt it. Y/N, I don’t blame you for-“ Ethan can’t finish his sentence before Grayson is up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to get him to stand up.
“Out. Now.” Ethan holds his hands up in mock surrender as he backs away.
“Fine. I’m out. But, you know. Have a good date. Use protection.” He laughs as he walks up the stairs. You chuckle as Grayson huffs and plops down next to you.
“I fucking hate him sometimes. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, that shit was kind of funny.”
Grayson settles in, remote in one hand and your thigh in the other. “What do you wanna watch?”
“Anything’s fine, I’m pretty tired anyways.” He nods and puts on Someone Great. You’d already seen it, but you didn’t say anything. You’d probably be asleep within ten minutes, anyway.
You were right. You don’t even remember seeing the first five minutes of the movie. You’re slumped on Grayson’s shoulder, snoring softly.
Grayson does everything in his power not to move, not wanting to disturb you. He thought you were cute when you slept.
You’re woken up when you feel Grayson shifting underneath you. You’d moved to be half on top of him in your sleep. You decide to ignore it, hoping you’d just fall back asleep. But, he’s moving under you again.
“Gray?” You mumble, barely audible.
“Sorry, sweet girl. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay. Stop moving.”
“Yeah, okay.” He puts his hands on your torso, shifting you a bit before he stills. That’s when you realize what you hear. There are moans coming from the tv. You open one eye, looking at the screen and sure enough they’re having sex. You giggle a bit.
“Hmm?” Grayson hums, running a hand over your back.
“Did the sex scene make you uncomfy?” This makes him laugh, shaking your body with his.
“No. Not uncomfy.” You suck in a breath at the implication of his words. You think back to what Anna said. Pregnant sex would probably be really hot. But you have no idea if he’d even be interested in that.
“Missing your girls from LA?” You’re asking before you can control your tongue. Your eyes widen as you realize what you’ve said. You might just chop your tongue off completely.
“What?”
“Nothing, was a joke. Let me sleep.” You breathe out, hoping he didn’t hear you.
“Y/N.” He pats your back and then pushing your shoulder to roll you over. He grabs your chin so you have to look at him. “What did you say?”
“I asked if you were missing your LA girls. It was a joke, because of the whole sex scene. Didn’t mean anything by it.” His face looks stone cold, like you’ve made him mad. “I’m sorry.”
“There are no LA girls,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. You raise your eyebrows. “What, do you think I’m a fuck boy or some shit?”
“Well, kinda.”
He looks genuinely shocked at your words, shaking his head. “Y/N, no. Hell no. Even if I was before, not now. There’s no LA girls, and there never have been.” He crosses his arms, completely retracting from you. You sit up.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I know it’s a shitty assumption, but I mean what were we doing? I just thought you did that with everyone.”
He bites his lip, thinking carefully about what he wants to say next.
“I know what we did was only once, but I thought you were a good person. After we left, I kinda looked forward to when I’d see you over the summer whenever Jessie would bring you around. I don’t know what I was thinking or expecting, but it wasn’t a one and done deal. Ethan just really didn’t feel good that morning and made me leave before I could see you.”
You nod, taking this new information in. Of all the things he was going to say, you didn’t expect that. Although, he seems to always be filled with surprises.
“I’m sorry. It was a stupid comment, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Have there been any college guys?” He raises a brow.
“What? No. Even if I didn’t feel like a chubby marshmallow or some shit, no. I was…affected by our night together. And not just in the pregnant way.” You lean back next to him, mirror his posture.
“Oh, so you couldn’t stop thinking about my dick?” He smirks at you. You hit his arm and laugh.
“Shut up, that makes it sound so…dirty.”
“If it’s not dirty, then how were you thinking about it?”
“I don’t know. Just knew no one would really meet my expectations like you did.” Your voice is getting quieter and quieter as you feel like you want the couch to swallow you up.
“Yeah? How so?”
“You’re the first guy to make me finish.”
He gasps. “Y/N, no. Liar.”
You shake your head slowly, biting your lip.
“Wow. First guy to make you cum, first guy to impregnate you. I’m on a roll.” He puts his arm around your shoulder as you laugh.
“Oh god, I’m feeding his ego more and more.” You throw your arms up in defeat and he laughs.
“Well, the thought of you getting off to the thought of me this whole time definitely feeds my ego.”
Your cheeks blush as you roll your eyes. “Shut up.”
He laughs harder, pulling you closer to his body. “Nothing to be ashamed of, baby. Your hormones are raging. I’ve heard through the grapevine that pregnant women are horny all the time.”
“The grapevine? Who’s that?” “…Movies.”
“Alright well if you’ve got no LA girls, then you’ve been jerking off to the thought of me, too so I don’t appreciate the mockery.” You finally look at him, pointing your finger at him.
He bites his lips, his cheeks also becoming a dark shade of red. “You’ve caught me red handed.”
You giggle and poke his cheek. “That’s what I thought. Bet your fantasy is all ruined now that I’m getting bigger, though.”
He looks at you genuinely confused. “What?” You look at him with the same look of confusion. “Pregnancy isn’t sexy.”
He laughs. Like genuine, whole hearted laughter. “What are you talking about?” “What are you talking about?” You fire back.
“The fact that you’re pregnant with my baby is the hottest shit ever. I did that shit. We did that shit. It’s hot.”
“We can agree to disagree, then.”
So much for trying to keep things simple, Grayson thinks to himself.
“Let me prove it.”
***
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Imagine Samuel being a father
A/N: So, in my opinion... Samuel Drake as a father would a killer. I think that he would be somewhere between Ryan Reynolds (find his parenthood tweets, oh lord) and Josh Wolf (such a good stand up comedian).
He would love his children endlessly, he isn't his own father, after all, but he'll maybe terrorize them a bit. Like in a funny way.
Also, I might start a series of one-shots, because I have a ton of ideas for this one.
Warnings: Samuel being a kickass father. There's some weed mentioned in here, but it is meant to be fun.
You and Samuel were together for some time.
Let me say, you were that badass Californian couple - partying, drinking your ass off, smoking weed and doing a lot of fucking things.
Like, you were practically animals. Party animals.
And of course, you were on your pills. We don't want any accidents here, right?
But, if ya know and are aware of - antibiotics and hormonal pills kinda don't do a single shit when mixed.
You should let him know that when you were finishing your antibiotics after a looong illness.
But you somehow magically forgot when he started to nuzzle you on the sofa. You know the drill really well. But why not, you were horny as hell, you missed his weenie and his body. Boy, it shouldn't be a sin to make love with your boyfriend, right?
Ya know how this goes, don't you? You don't? But I do and let me tell you.
Nuzzling > nude dudes > just the tip > oops, I cum in you.
It wasn't a sin to make love with your boyfriend. But you didn't count on that you actually get pregnant.
Yet there you were, holding that goddamn stick in front of his hazel brown eyes.
"Alright, young man." - You went. - "You wanna tell me something about dat? Because I'm pregnant and I don't certainly didn't impregnated on my own." - You asked, looking at him with that you know what you have done. But he just slapped you in the face with his answer.
"Maybe it's God's will?" - Samuel asked and you didn't know if you were about to cry or laugh actually. There was a fucking baby on the way and you two weren't that couple who would get rid of it. Maybe it hadn't the most perfect timing, yet you two have done it, so it was your responsibility now.
"Are you joking me?"
"Babe, I have one question and I am scared of the answer." - He whispered and you waved your fingers as sing for him to go on. - "I've heard some... Rumors? Like... Will your vanana be the same when he or she gets out of your body? I kinda like your tight little girl."
So yeah. There were no fights, no yelling or tears. The only two things Samuel was concerned about was the health of the baby and how actually make your vanana tight again after that.
He's an idiot. Don't mind him. At least he was looking forward to being a father. He looked like the type who runs away directly after telling him - but he was fucking pumped for your child.
That didn't mean he would be a good father. Not at all. You could tell, you could fucking tell, that he'll be that prankster, pretty tough dad with some terrible fucking jokes and you were sure that when your child will be an adult, they'll have some freaking funny memories to share.
Let me say one thing - he read as many books about labor and pregnancy as he read on the topic of vanana. He has his priorities straight. And you couldn't tell otherwise.
But no one else could believe.
"I'm with a baby." - You told Elena and Nathan who has their daughter just a few months ago. She was gorgeous after her mother and you were all scared that she'll catch Nathan's attributes.
Nathan started to laugh hysterically, but you guys were looking at him with a frown. Elena slapped his back and her stare was like can you calm the fuck down, man?
"I meant that they were joking."
Nobody could believe that Samuel Drake is about to be a father.
But when your belly got bigger and bigger, they figured out you might not be joking at all.
Samuel loved when he could speak with your belly, whispering to it when the evening came and you two lazily lied on the sofa, watching some dumb movies with Bruce Willis.
"Hi there, little one." - He carefully descended between your legs, nuzzling your belly with his lips and nose. You unconsciously messed his hair with your hand.
"Had a crazy day, I tell ya, buddy. My head is blowing up with one thought at the moment." - Samuel sighed dramatically.
"What thought, daddy?" - You messed with him with a quiet laugh. You were all in about calling him daddy in the family way and in a naughty way as well.
"I was thinking about marrying mommy, little fellow."
It wasn't history's greatest proposal, but it was something, right? It was romantic in its own way and it made you really happy.
And when the baby moved under his palms for the first time ever, it made him legit cry like a little boy.
At the moment he officially started the age of Sam, the sensitive and loving father™ (even tho it was insanely lovely, it didn't stop you from making fun of him).
He acted around you as if he was walking around some porcelain which he could break easily. He made sure you don't drink, you don't even get close to some weed, he was cooking you the healthiest recipes and even bought you some pregnancy clothes.
You wanted to know the gender, of course, but Samuel was strictly against it. So you knew it would be a boy from the start, right?
But his curiosity almost killed him. He asked you many times during different events.
Once you made dishes? He asked. You were cooking? He crept being you and almost killed you because of freaking out. You were washing clothes? Dear, that man just magically stood next to the washing machine.
But in the end, you finally told him.
And he cried again - he was about to have a baby boyo. His own son. Someone to pass the legacy on.
That made him the happiest man under the sun.
When that day came and Thomas finally saw the light of the world, Samuel was under serious pressure, shaking and crying a big time, white as a fucking wall - and you were screaming that you'll kill him if he ever tried to have another child with you.
And yes, your firstborn son was named after a pirate - Thomas Tew.
It was a long and let's be honest, painful a fucking lot in the end, labor but there was a small little bean in your arms, both of you were crying like little fucking girls and you almost immediately fell asleep after breastfeeding the baby and having all of those pregnancy things out of your body.
"You can breastfeed me as well." - Samuel whispered wickedly, thinking about sexual stuff again, and you were so disgusted by it after baby just fucking crawled from your vanana that you smacked his cheek hard. He was mesmerized, shocked and partially amused.
"If you ever put your lips close to my boobs or your penis somewhere near my vagina, you better be sure that I'll cut your weenie off, you motherfucker." - You sighed painfully with your eyes closed. He chuckled.
"From today on I'll be a motherfucker, I solemnly swear." - Samuel said in a loving tone.
He called Nathan as soon as he left you when you fell asleep. Both of them cried and they decided to have a shot for the welfare of his son - which meant that Nathan vomited in the park at three am and Samuel tried to kick hydrant because that hydrant insulted him.
They were fucking high, having the biggest hungover of their lives, waking up on the beach and neither of them knew how the fuck they got there.
You came home after a few days with a baby in a safety cradle and you couldn't believe your eyes. Those little things which made baby safe about sharp edges and some fuses.
The funniest was when Samuel forgot how to open the one on your toilet. And he needed to pee desperately. 
He always thought that babies are more fun than just crying, eating and pooping - why would everyone want them then? 
He kinda didn't understand Nathans feelings about Cassie. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love his little baby boy, alright? He was just that kind of a man who thought that babies crawl out of the woman and they immediately do everything. He needed to learn that it takes some time before they walk and talk.
So when he was holding Thomas in his armchair, he whispered him his pirate stories and fact and that little one didn't understand a single word, but it calmed him down.
So be sure that Samuel was PUMPED when the boyo started to crawl around and saying those sweet nonsenses. Samuel also almost threw a huge celebration when Thomas said mama for the first time or when he did his first step.
“He's a genius! Have you heard the pronunciation? Our little boy is exactly like his dad - fast, charming and extremely good with ladies. Have you seen him with Cassie?”
“Samuel, I think that you're freaking out and overthinking it a lot.”
He was basically pumped every everything Thomas did. 
And when his boy started to draw? Jesus, Samuel was ready to call him Picasso. In his eyes, he was extremely talented (and you didn't ruin it by saying him that Thomas is completely normal, little boy).
You were pretty lit parents, to be honest. 
When you had a long day at work and Samuel was too sick from Thomas making him angry (like when he fucked up your beautiful white wall with Nutella and fucking ketchup), you just waited until your son fell asleep.
“Are you ready for it?”
“You bet your ass, Samuel. I just need to turn off my brain.”
And you two smoked some tree (weed, who doesn't know). You were high as a kite. You didn't smoke weed much, just sometimes and it wasn't even a lot of it. Just to make you feel ok, restart your brain.
But one day you came to the bedroom and Samuel was pale and looking into your closet. 
“What is up, baby? You look scared.” - You said and stood next to him, looking into that closet next to him. - “Babe?”
“You were... You know, eating our happy brownies what you've baked for today's evening?” - Samuel asked and you shook your head and his eyes and expression went to “What?” to “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Thomas ate your weed baked in brownies. There was not a lot of it, thank god, so he was mostly okay. He was totally fine the next day - but the evening, man, that was a wild one. You both didn't leave his side all night, watching him and you didn't even fall asleep. Nothing happened, thanks to god.
Even tho, years later you burst out of laugh when Samuel was talking about his baby boy getting high on accident.
Yet, from that day on, you started to hide your edibles and weed more carefully.
From that day on, Samuel sometimes didn't leave his side all day - he woke him up, prepared breakfast, took him to kindergarten, took him out, went out with him and so on - sometimes he even fell asleep during telling him a proper pirate story. 
Especially when you somehow got pregnant, again. What should I say? This man just has good genes and really good sperms. 
Nobody knew how it happened again. 
But Thomas was just about to have a sibling when he was four years old.
So Samuel took the role of father for 24/7 when you got really pregnant. It was nice and Samuel was a lot calmer this time. 
He was a self-proclaimed pregnancy expert since Thomas was born and he was pretty sure your vanana can be tight once again after labor because you were successful the first time.
Especially he loved to take Thomas out to the park. 
He was sure that his son will be like him. When he was five years old, he was pretty good with the girls his age and because he took after your beautiful face and he took after Samuels' eyes, he was good even with women. Thomas was an adorable boy.
But that's what made Samuel worried - if he would be like Samuel as a teenager, you will through some tough shit. 
But hey - for that moment, he was only five and he had a little sister named Anne after a pirate woman Anne Bonny. Sam did his puppy eyes for that one and he promised you endless nights of eating out if you name her Anne. 
And Thomas was like “Why the fuck should dad eat mommy?”. He was pretty scared at that moment.
When Anne was actually born, you had already learned from the mistakes you have done with Thomas. 
Your life went on - you got a house, Sam was still in the business with Sully and yet Sam wasn't exactly the youngest, he had a hella energy for his children and job. And he got a hella money from that. Sully knew really well what he was doing. Tom started to go to elementary school and it wasn't a much of time before Annie went to kindergarten.
You stopped smoking tree at home; Elena and Nate were looking after Tom and Annie and you just got off to the woods or you want on to some mountain cottage. But you have still done that only when life was too hard on you and you needed to relax really badly.
Sometimes you took Cassie to your house, planning the evenings of their life to them.
Samuel and Nathan even started a competition who will do it better - but let's say that Samuel wasn't as much pussy as Nathan. That prison made him crazy a bit.
But oh man, then it started. 
Thomas was twelve years old and he was a high-school boy. So watch out. Obviously, you are old as fuck and you don't know shit about his cruel, tough life.
He stopped telling you everything, but you know it was only a natural thing that you had to accept. Annie was seven at the time and she was Samuels little sunshine and princess and you were her best friends.
But Tom had a strong relationship with Sully and Nathan and Sam. And the older he was, the stronger it was. 
He wasn't that little boy anymore. He slowly started to be a man. And you couldn't be prouder.
He had his moods, yeah, but he helped you at the home, he cared about his grades, he even hadn't that much of a mess in his room and he was really well brought up. And he loved you more than anything else in the world - you were his mommy. 
But just as Sam, Nate, Sully, and Tom had their club, you, Elena, Cassie and little Annie got you a one.
But oh my fucking Lord, you loved the stories what Sam was telling you when you got to bed. He didn't tell you Tom's problems in from of him, but you two were still his parents and you know how the drill goes: what does your dad know, your mom knows too.
"Dad?" - Tom came to Samuel one evening and he was looking like a piece of shit. Samuel frowned immediately and put his newspaper on the table. He was still worried about Tom even tho he was really smart, pretty non-problem thirteen-year-old boy. He knew how to take care of himself.
"What's up, kid?" - Samuel smiled and massaged his son's shoulder with his palm, trying to calm him down.
"I, uh, oh damn I don't know how the hell I should start." - Tom said quietly and if you were there, you would look at your son and mouth language, but there was only the two of them, so it was cool. - "Okay, okay, okay, I have a problem. It's a huge problem. I think that there's something wrong about me." - Tom whispered.
"Why would you think that? Look at you, you're a handsome young lad, just as I was back in my days." - Sam chuckled and gulped a sip of beer.
"I just gonna tell it, okay?" - Thomas took his face into his palms and started to mumble. - "So my classmate Lindsay had a really nice, tight shirt on today and I saw her boobs in a coincidence and something happened in my pants, you know, with my weenie. And then it happened again when I was a math class and I don't know what to do, because it never happened before and I'm so scared." - He finished and Sam just smiled and patted his shoulder.
"There's nothing wrong with that. Your body just tells you that you're ready to have a woman. But try something when you're underage and I'll kill you, understood?" - Samuel told him with a proud smile. - "And I don't know if this happens, but if you get hard for a man, I don't tell you it has to happen, it's just as good. I don't care whom you bang when you'll be an adult, understood? But you are still young for doing that, so try anything and I'll tell your mother."
He was so proud at that moment. His boy became an official man in his eyes. He wasn't little anymore. But still fairly young.
And you also worked as the biggest threat to Tom, so he was almost shitted because of fear at the moment. You were worse than a hurricane when he did something really bad, like throwing up on your mom's dog or when he broke a toilet at his school.
And you giggled when Sam told you that your son is a man.
He talked with Sam about everything as he grew up - he had told him about his first making out with a girl, about his first boob-touching session which he was really excited about (Tom hummed songs all evening, which wasn't a thing he would normally do) and he even asked for advice when he was about to touch his girlfriend's, her name was Carmen and she was a lovely girl, vanana for the first time ever. They had a big group meeting with uncle Nathan and pa Sully about that - it was huge for Tom and they just quietly remembered how it was for them.
But let me say - Samuel and Nathan aged like a fucking good wine. They maybe weren't the youngest around, but hell, they still did something to the women around and they had plenty of experience.
And it was three times more for Sully. Even he got married to a woman named Florence (@missdictatorme I had to) and when he was twenty years younger, he knew how to do her good.
"Alright, old man." - Eighteen-year-old Tom sat next to his father and grinned at him in the Drake-typical way with his corner-turning upwards and his eyebrows risen a little. - "Might I ask you for some tips and tricks? I think I really love her and I need to be gentle with her so she would enjoy as well."
"I might be an old man," - Sam grinned and looked at his younger brother. - "But I think your mom doesn't think so at times. Am I right, boys?" - He looked at Sully and Nathan, and every one of them laughed a bit. Sully was a really old man; each one of them was considered old, and he was now sitting on a wheelchair. He could walk, but those years of treasure hunting hadn't done any good to his poor knees.
"Ew, Jesus. That's gross. I don't wanna think about that at all."
But they got him some useful tips. Like: don't try to find her vanana on her stomach or when you stick a finger inside, make sure it's wet and don't your hand just, you know, stuck out there. Move it.
They had a great bond. Otherwise, he and Samuel would never talk about it this openly.
You two as parents got a lot of fun with your son, especially when he was nineteen and he was ready to try some new stuff. You knew he will get drunk - but when he vomited all over your terrace and when you heard him speak and say I love you for a million times while you recorded him, you had the fucking time of your whole life. Don't worry, you made it clean up after himself.
Samuel recorded all of his son's bullshit - how he spoke when he had eaten those weed-brownies when you were camping in the wood while he was eight and somehow he got his shit on his earlobe when he totally burned your Christmas sweets... Baby, there is a lot of your son's mistakes you had a proof for.
But the biggest fun actually came when he wanted to try weed. You and Sam acted a bit mad, but you knew it had to come at one point.
So, in the end, you told him "Okay, you're eighteen, so you're in law, but we'll do it together so when something happens, we are with you". And of course, he went like "Wtf no".
But you have all of that shit recorded, and when you have your bad day, you just play the speech of your stoned son. It's embarrassing and he wanted you to delete it immediately - so you knew you'll play it at his wedding.
But when it came to Annie, his baby princess and a flawless small girl being in the same age his son were when he started his sexual life, oh dear lord.
A boy looked into her direction? Sam was there, looking at him like "touch her and I would fucking break your hands, hands and penis, punk".
But you knew it is going to happen someday, so you went all in about hormonal pills, condoms, other sources of protection, you told her a hundred times that she shouldn't do it because every girl has done it but because she loves somebody... And she was like "mom, you've told me a million times and I'm not an idiot."
But you know - Tom, now a twenty-two-year-old adult, and his fiancée moved into a flat together, so you took care of Annie even more intensely.
Annie accepted your opinions if they were useful and not too idiot-sounding like. But you know girls her age - she was sure that Samuel is a huge dick who just wants to make her life harder.
And he almost fainted when she came home with a boyfriend. His name was David.
In your opinion, he was a nice boy, he was really nice to you and your daughter and polite to Samuel as well. They got through everything together - first kiss, boob-touching, making out, even first sex.
Annie even married him five years after that evening. And they moved out as well.
At the end of the day, besides for your son getting high as a kite when he was just five years old, your daughter accidentally drinking aid alcohol, losing your children in the mall a few times, a heck of bruises and a load of embarrassing, childhood stories... You were good parents.
And your son and your daughter knew that they were very lucky to have you because you taught them how to love and enjoy life and every time they need you for anything...
You were there for them.
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maljean89 · 6 years ago
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I turned 30 and got my tubes tied
Just shy of a week ago I had my very first surgery — I got my tubes tied. Although, “getting your tubes tied” is sort of an out-of-date term these days come to find. Nowadays, removing your entire fallopian tubes is the standard for a couple of reasons: removing them completely (as opposed to tying, clamping or cauterizing) can prevent the occurrence of an ectopic pregnancy and can reduce the risk for Ovarian Cancer. Dude, I have so much cancer in my family, if I can reduce my risk for one kind, I’m down. 
I’m really glad I’ve never had surgery before because going into it blindly was probably the best thing for me. I had no idea what to expect and if I had I think I would have been even more of an anxious mess than I already was. I am the queaziest, most fainty human being on the planet, so the entire experience of having the 3 attempts to put my IV in was a little hellish. But being put under felt pretty cool and before I knew it, I was waking up and it was all over. It took a solid 3 days of doing nothing but laying on my back and hobbling to the toilet before I started to feel like a human again. And let me tell you — having a boyfriend with an amazing sense of humor kind of sucks when laughing causes you pain. But he took the best care of me and 6 days later I’ve got a way less bloated and swollen tummy (looked like I was pregnant for a couple days) and my insides feel like normal again. I’ve got these 3 sweet battle wound scars — two on either side of my lower abdomen and one in my belly button — and I can officially say that I’m sterile as a cotton ball. 
I’m pretty excited that I now have a response when people inevitably ask “So when are you and Jonah going to have a baby?” I’m going to enjoy it a little too much to be able to say, “Never actually. I had my tubes tied.” Telling people you don’t want kids makes them incredibly uncomfortable for some reason. I’ve never really understood it, but one of two things usually happen. One: they get real awkward and change the subject, never to be visited again. Or two: the barrage of questions begins. Some people are genuinely interested. Some people feel the same way and I get high fives. Some people do the whole, “well, you’ve got plenty of time to change your mind” routine. 
The thing that probably kills me the most though is when people ask why. 
“Why don’t you want to have kids? If you don’t mind my asking,” they’ll say.
You got a few hours? People ask this question like its a simple answer. Dude, if its a simple answer, I highly recommend that you don’t get sterilized because one simple answer isn’t sufficient. I have scores of reasons! And the reasons why I don’t only stand to inform the actions I would take if I oddly changed my mind someday. 
I thought I’d share some of my many reasons with you all. Some are emotional, some are physical, some are financial — they’re all over the place. If you don’t care — thats cool. If you think I’m stupid — you’re entitled to your opinion. But I do think it would broaden your vision a bit to read why someone might not want to reproduce. If you’re one of the people judging me, I encourage you to take a moment to learn about someone different than yourself.
1. Physically, I legit can’t handle it. I know every woman is probably terrified of actually giving birth, but I literally could not handle it. I have to lay down to get a flu shot, and stay laying down for a solid 10 minutes or I’ll pass out. Getting my blood drawn makes me faint every time. And just discussing the process of inserting a NuvaRing with my gyno made me lightheaded and have to lay down. Getting my lady exam every year makes me so nervous I often present with high blood pressure because my nerves get the better of me so badly. Don’t think I could handle 9 months of discomfort, thinking about whats happening to my insides, and then the inevitable pain of actual birth. And even if I somehow could handle it — I don’t want to put myself through that. No thanks, I’ll pass.
2. Financially, I don’t want the burden. People may think thats a cold reason to not want kids, but I’m just being honest. I’m a fucking millennial for god’s sake — I’ll be drowning in student loan debt until the day I die, paying off only the interest on my income based repayment plan each month. I’m just now at 30 years old feeling stable with my own income for the first time ever. And to be 100% honest with you, I want to spend my money on me and my partner, not a small person who doesn’t even understand what money is and how hard I have to work for it. If you can look past that — high five to you, but I can admit that I’m not that big of a person.
3. I don’t want the strain on my body. I’m not special in that I’ve struggled with my body image my whole life. And sure — you can argue all you want that having kids is more rewarding than having a hot bod. And I’m sure thats true for some people. But vainly, I just don’t want to ruin my body like that. I’ve got enough stretch marks on my inner thighs and love handles from when I was heavier. I shall opt for keeping my bladder and vagina and breasts in tact for as long as I can. #SorryNotSorry
4. It’s not what I want my day to day life to be about. I enjoy being around kids of a certain age for a very short amount of time, and somehow that window gets smaller and smaller as they get older. I don’t have enough time for myself, I can’t even imagine having every moment be about feeding and changing and crying and being sick and everything else. Worrying about myself and the people I love is all I have the energy and time for folks. Its wonderful that some people are happy having every day be about play dates and going to the park and doing whatever Mommy-and-Me crap you mothers out there do — but thats just not who I am. I enjoy traveling and seeing the world, experiencing art and theater and music, trying really hard and failing at making alone time for myself, falling in love with Jonah more and more every day, searching for a woman to fall in love with at the same time, and a million other things I could spend hours writing about. In everything I want for my life, there just isn’t a kid running around in that mix.
5. I’ve got some weird Mom-related reasons swirling around in my noggin, too. My relationship with my mother was very special to me. I was an only child raised by a single mom and that, my friends, creates bonds unlike any other. In the three years since she’s died, I’ve realized how sacred my time with her was. I even had a window of time where I thought I was going to cancel getting my tubes tied because I had this morbid realization that by having a baby, and possibly a little girl, I could have a piece of my mom back again. Thats not a healthy way to think. I talked my feelings out with my loved ones and ended up back at my decision to have the procedure. Somehow, the mother-daughter relationship that I had with her is the only one I want to have in my life. 
6. Other areas in my life deserve my love and attention more than a child. First and foremost — my love life is too important to me. Jonah is my world. And aside from the fact that on our first date he told me he didn’t want to have any more kids (he has a daughter from a previous relationship), our life doesn’t have room for an infant. Our life together — my career, my company, other creative and business ventures I have brewing in my head, Jonah’s music,  our love life being polyamorous — all of these things deserve my love and attention more than having a baby. And guess what? As mentioned above, I already get to have a daughter in a sense! I get to have this super cool friendship/stepmom/parent-type thing with a wonderful little girl that came from the man of my dreams. I can’t wait to see her blossom into a young woman and see what she’ll achieve in life. ALSO, I have an amazing nephew who is about the same age and even though I don’t get to see him every day the way his mom saw me every day, I love the bond I have with him and getting to see him grow into such a sweet and upstanding young man. All of this and more deserve my love and attention more than creating another human.
7. I don’t think its necessary to populate the world with more people. If I lose anyone big time with any of these reasons, I think this one might be it. We as human beings are literally ruining this planet. There are too many people in existence as it is. We’re polluting the ocean at an alarming rate, global warming is all our fucking fault, and every year more and more animals hit that endangered species list or worse, become extinct. Don’t get me started on animal rights! More people just create more garbage, more waste, more problems. I’m sure you love your big family and think you’re not part of the problem, but guess what — we all are. I don’t want to add to it. I can help not add to it by the following...
8. I would choose adoption over reproducing any fucking day. When I had my initial doctors appointment to schedule my tubal ligation, my doctor obviously asked me why I wanted the procedure done. I rambled off a few of these reasons I’ve just shared with you and closed with this: “If for some crazy reason I want nothing more than to have a child 10 years from now, I would want to adopt anyway.” And that was the end of that conversation. There are so many children that need foster homes or to be adopted. In Minnesota alone, an article from this past January from Kare 11 states that “this year alone some 17,000 children will need temporary, out-of-home placements.” I saw an adorable little boy at the grocery store the other day running in front of his parents. For one second I thought, there are I don’t even know how many little boys just like him that need homes across the globe. The thought broke my heart. If I wake up 5 years from now and want nothing more than to be a mom, I want to change someone’s life and give them the loving home they otherwise might not ever have.
9. I’ve never had a strong will to be a mother. Sure, when you’re in grade school you might trade future baby names with your girlfriends at recess. For me it was Hayden for a boy and Aslynn for a girl. But as a teenager and adult, that daydream disappeared. I’ve never longed to be a mother, or to have any sort of a conventional life for that matter. It’s always seemed really boring and expected and normal. One of the very very few positive things that came out of my relationship with my ex-husband was the day he helped me realize that I just assumed I’d have kids someday because thats what society had drilled into me. The moment I stood back and really honestly asked myself, “Do I want kids?” I had my answer. No. And I’ve never looked back.
10. Most importantly, my body was made for more than reproduction. I know we don’t live in medieval times — this isn’t Game of Thrones no matter how much I wish it was. We live in an age of being a career mom and female empowerment up the wazoo. But theres still this thing floating around out there in the world that its expected of me to reproduce. Ridiculous abortion laws like the one that just passed in Georgia that makes it illegal to get an abortion after 6 weeks makes me feel like we’re only glimpsing the tip of the iceberg of whats coming down the pipes. The only person who can control what I do with my body is me goddamn it. My female body can do just as much (AND MORE) than any male body can. Maybe its just me being stubborn or thinking I’m more important than I am, but I firmly believe my body can do a million more important things shit out children. I truly believe we are heading to a Handmaid’s Tale existence, and I won’t be a part of it. I refuse.
I didn’t write this blog to make you feel like shit if you are a mother, and enjoy being a mother. Everyone is different. I respect that. But we all have different perspectives. And I truly believe that there are a lot of moms out there that didn’t think long and hard enough about this life-changing decision, and now they’re stuck with it for life. At the end of the day — you’re going to do you, and I’m going to do me. But maybe you have a little insight into what goes on in a head like mine, and why motherhood doesn’t have to be your future if you don’t want it to be.
I’ll be honest with you — I sort of have this weird feeling that for once I have total control over my own body. Pregnancy has been this fear stamped on my love life since I took that dive at 14 and I finally feel free from it. I don’t know, maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. I could be feeling that way because I just bought my first house and have this cool, new perspective on taking control of my life. But somehow, I’ve never felt more in control in 👏🏻 my 👏🏻 life 👏🏻
Watch out world. The only one in control of my life and my body is me. 
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falling-red-petals · 7 years ago
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Arc Family/Jaune Headcanons
Note: Several of these are bound to contradict each other. (Also feel free to add your own.) (BTW this is mostly angst.)
1.) They’re nomadic. Jaune never indicates where his family is actually from but we know they DID travel a fair bit and Jaune never seemed THAT concerned whenever team RNJR lost the map. Our boy knows his fucking way around.
2.) At least ONE of his sisters is lgbt+
3.) Jaune is either the oldest or somewhere in the middle, but not the youngest. (Mostly because Jaune being a cute big brother who babies a gaggle of little sisters is my dream ya’ll.) (Imagine them clinging to his legs or making him read them bedtime stories!!!!)
4.) His parents, intentionally or not, are neglectful as fuck towards him. As someone who grew up with four siblings I assure you that it can be difficult for working parents to make sure each kid gets the same amount of attention. I can’t imagine what it’s like trying to divide that time between EIGHT FUCKING KIDS.
5.) His parents DO try really hard with him but fail hardcore for various reasons. If true I think this is because most of their advice we’ve heard Jaune repeat, (”My dad said you just have to have confidence.”), is less than great and Jaune himself openly states in V3 that they didn’t even remotely believe in him or what he could do. Maybe they meant they’d be fine if came home but it came out more like “We fully expect you to fail and come home with your tail between your legs” from his point of view. It’s hard to tell since we haven’t actually seen them.
6.) Alternatively, if his parents really are just that dismissive as to think he’ll fail at everything... well, that’s a pretty good way to explain why he’s been massively insecure since Vol 1.
6-b.) Them being abusive to some extent would go a long way in explaining why he was so dismissive about Cardin’s bullying BECAUSE MAYBE THAT’S JUST HOW HE THINKS HE’S SUPPOSE TO BE TREATED OH GOD- 
7.) Some of his sisters are adopted. The idea of some poor woman going through eight pregnancies (that is, if none of them were part of multiple births) makes me cringe because that’s a lot of stress to go under repeatedly. 
8.) A few of the girls have Faunus traits. Additionally, his dad is the faunus parent while his mom is the human parent.
9.) Jaune’s ancestors were great warriors, not heroes. Given that huntsmen get idolized in Remnant (for obvious reasons), I wouldn’t be surprised if a naive-child-Jaune immediately associated “warrior” with “hero” because of this. IMAGINE HOW SHITTY HE’D FEEL IF HE FOUND OUT HIS ANCESTORS DID HORRIBLE THINGS INSTEAD OF BEING HEROIC?! THAT WOULD PERFECTLY SET UP A BROKEN PEDESTAL PLOT
10.) “Jaune Arc” isn’t his legal name. The way he introduces himself to Ruby imo has one of two interpretations. A.) He’s trying and failing to sound cool. B.) He’s a huge nerd and is excited about his new totally not legit name because he thinks he picked a really good one.
11.) His family has some kind of connection with the criminal underworld. I really don’t have any reason why for this one other than I want to know how he got those fake transcripts and I’ve read a bunch of @ofdustandpotions post about the subject.
11-b.) Bonus points if their underworld connection goes by the alias of “Kevin.”
12.) Even before he went to Beacon, Jaune felt like he was useless. That he wasn’t living up to his family name. Something put him at such a terrible state of mind that he felt like the only way to be worth anything to his family was to put himself in an extremely life threatening field of work. 
13.) If a character suggests he goes home to his family for a little while Jaune will refuse, both because he won’t abandon his friends but also because he doesn’t feel like he’s worth enough yet to go back to them with any honor intact. 
14.) His parents ALSO don’t know what aura is. Maybe Jaune’s dad is a warrior but was never trained to be a huntsman and has survived by pure grit, who knows?
15.) Ruby is the first real friend he’s ever had, which is why he’s so intense with her sometimes. (Similarly this is also why he’s so intense with Ren and Nora.)
16.) Jaune’s bi, but leans more towards being heteromantic. (There’s just something about his gushing over Neptune and his relationship with Ren in general that makes it seem like he isn’t full hetero to me, idk.) 
17.) One of Jaune’s sisters’ name will be Jean as a mythology gag. (It’s been stated by Word of God that Jaune’s name was originally suppose to Jean [as in blue jeans] until Burnie Burns pointed out the word jaundice and referring to him as Jaune just kind of stuck.)
18.) The reason Jaune never went to a combat school prior to Beacon despite always wanting to be a warrior, as well as his general lack of knowledge on the world around him, is because he had some kind sickness that kept him bedridden for a good deal of his life. This would also go a long way to explain his early social ineptitude, and the fact that he was following advice that sounds more like something you’d tell a shy elementary school child than a seventeen year old boy. Again, although his full name is an obvious allusion to Joan D’arc his first name came specifically from Burnie Burns mentioning a RL sickness.
18-b.) His (previous) sickness may be the reason he looks down on himself so much, and why he’s obsessed with holding up the family honor now. Maybe his stay in the hospital cost his parents A LOT of money and as a result he’s desperately trying to become something that’s remotely worth having around in order to justify the economic (and/or emotional) turmoil he put them through. 
18-c.) Dancing was part of some kind of physical therapy and his sisters decided to learn with him as a sign of support. <3 
19.) Alternatively to 18, Jaune is just extremely sheltered and his parents made massive efforts to keep him that way... for some reason.
20.) If his parents were verbally abusive towards him then I imagine they used the concept of “family honor” as a bullying tactic in some way.
21.) NONE of sisters were interested in becoming huntresses... until he left to become a hunter himself. (I honestly hate the theory that they’re all badass huntresses because WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NOT TELL HIM ABOUT AURA OR TRAIN HIM THEMSELVES IF THAT’S THE CASE)
22.) If his parents are neglectful/abusive, at least ONE of his sisters is the exact opposite and loves him unconditionally.
23.) In the case his parents AREN’T abusive/neglectful in some way they are instead adoption-happy and will try to adopt Ren, Nora, and Weiss (PLS LET SNOW CHILD LIVE) the second they see the three of them.
24.) Alternatively to everything above, Jaune has a perfectly happy home life but his parents have a tendency to stick their feet in their mouths at the worst times (he has to get that from somewhere) and Jaune is naturally predisposed to experience high levels of anxiety and depression. 
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saihara-shuichi-imagines · 7 years ago
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‘Pregnancy and Baby Girl’
Saihara and Pregnant! S/o headcannons? Also I loveeeee your blog <33
Headcanons of Shuichi taking care of Pregnant!S/O ?? (like he helps her out through morning sicknesses, takes care of her weird cravings, etc.) also holy crap im so glad this account exists like shuichi is literally my husband
Some headcannons of Shuichi and fem! S/o taking care of a baby girl? ówò
Alrighty! I think I can knock all 3 of these out in one request. Since I have a kid this will be easy for me. Super cute fluffy fun stuff ahead! - Mod Korekiyo
You were ecstatic to discover you were pregnant and Shuichi was telling everyone the moment he found out
Before you were showing he was already incredibly protective of you
but the moment the baby bump became prominent he was down right afraid to leave you alone for even a minute
You were his entire family, rolled into one being and it terrified him that if anything happened to you he could lose everything
It did agitate you a little that he treated you like a baby
Other than that, Shuichi was a model husband.
You want what? I can get it, just hang tight. You’re feeling hungry for what? I don’t think those exist but I can figure something out
If he for some reason or another had to be away he would ask his friends to babysit you.
Kaito once made him panic by claiming you went into labor
Fake contractions  scared the living hell out of the boy. He never knew when it was fake or if it’s the real deal.
He made sure you ate right and did light exercise to make birth easier on you.
One morning you woke up with a pain in your lower back. It went away pretty quickly so you ignored it and went back to bed.
You woke up again an hour later and your groaning worried Shuichi.
When the pain passed you went back to bed but Shuichi was concerned.
He called over a female friend and the next time the pain happened you described it to her. They were more frequent and closer together.
You were in labor.
Your water had to be broken manually by the doctor which scared Shuichi a little bit. He eased up when he learned that this is more common than people think
He sat beside your bed as the doctor check you and told you everything would be alright.
And then your heart rate monitor went crazy.
Shuichi was beyond excited but your bed was wheeled out of the maternity room quickly, doctors not even bothering to explain to your husband what was going on.
He panicked, waiting outside the surgery area the moment he was told you had to have a c-section and he could potentially lose both of you
This can’t be happening.
Everything was quiet for about 10 minutes
and then your daughters crying echoes through the whole floor.
Shuichi fell to his knees and cried.
You woke up in the maternity ward a few hours later, glancing over to see Shuichi cradling your daughter in his arms, whispering to her how much he loved her.
You felt numb
Like you were weighed down.
Shuichi noticed you were awake and quickly went to yoru side, showing you your daughter. She had his hair. She had his eyes
She was beautiful
Shuichi told you of your hasty surgery, warning you that you can’t take care of your daughter on your own 
But Shuichi promised to take care of both of you until you were able to walk.
It took 4 days before you could walk around and were able to leave the hospital, raising your baby together in that room for the first 4 days of her life.
Once home though, true parenting began.
Your daughters little cries woke you at night and her pickiness to breast feed complicated things for your swollen and pained breasts.
You had to get a pump, just to relieve your pain and feed your daughter 
Shuichi tried his best to ease all your worries and pains.
You’re leaking milk? He took care of it, keeping the special pads handy so you’d never leak in public. You’re not doing this right? Baby, don’t worry, there’s no right or wrong way to be a parent
He never knew all these little difficulties about parenting.
Fan fiction never mentions postpartum depression and the fact sometimes your baby will just try and roll over!
He was so terrified when he left the room for a minute and came back to find his newborn on her stomach
He legit cried
Once you got in the groove of carrying for an infant she was crawling around before you knew it
Shuichi had to make the crib a little lower to prevent her from lifting herself out
He was so paranoid that the floor wasn’t clean enough for her to crawl on
He found himself cleaning constantly
Her diapers were easy with liquids but the moment she was on solid food things got a lot messier
Shuichi was not prepared for this
He loved teaching her to walk
That was his proudest moment in his life was holding those little hands, helping her walk on her stubby little legs
Teaching her to talk was fun
Shuichi’s words were always too big for her : Chocolate, detective, etc.
Her first word ironically was mommy, even though Shuichi spent most of the time teaching her to talk
Sadhara + Dadhara = What’s going on right now
Parenthood is an adventure
and it had only just begun
-Mod Korekiyo is a proud parent and loved the hell out of this ask
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so-flashtastic · 7 years ago
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Daddy’s promise 0.1
Request from anon: 083 would be awesome
Category: Pregnancy 083: "I can't be pregnant... or....OH, MY GOD! "
Pairing: Barry Allen x reader  Warnings: Girltalk where the word "sex" is mentioned a couple times (idk if that's a legit warning tho), mild swearing (I think there's like... three curewords or something), and a bit bad writing in the beginning. Words: 3516 
A/N: Just thought I'd give you the reason why I didn't post Cinderella part 2: it's pretty much because it's been a while since I wrote last time, and I want the second part to be perfect, AND I didn't have so many ideas – just thought you guys deserved an update quicker...
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When it came to sneaking in after a long night, Y/N Y/L/N wasn’t the best. Was the girl inexperienced? Well, maybe, but she blamed it more on her dominant gene of clumsiness. As expected, the door wasn’t on her side when she tried her best to get into her and Mary's apartment inaudibly.
Squeak! It was moments like these, Y/N regretted not getting their door fixed. Though she excused her laziness with the argument that it was a great (cheap) alternative for an alarm in case of thieves (as if anyone would break the law for her stuff, hah!), it wasn't funny when you tried your best to sneak inside after a long night out.
"Good morning," Mary, Y/N's best friend, and roommate smirked at her, two cups of coffees in her hands.  "We really need to oil those hinges," Y/N tried her best changing the topic, as she took the mug her friend offered her.  "Nice try, go shower and get dressed. You've got a lot to tell me, and I don't want you to be hung over while you're at it," at that moment, Mary was so determined, Y/N didn't dare nor care to tell her she wasn't that hung over.
"You had sex with Barry?! I can't believe it! I mean, you guys are like... the definition of cinnamon buns!" Mary exclaimed in shock. "Ugh, stop it, Mary. Now that I've told you everything about last night-" "He asked you to take som drinks with him and Caitlin, then you just ended up having sex? Who are you?"  "-can you just be the bestest best friend in the world and don't remind me about it for the rest of my life?" Y/N continued as if her friend hadn't just interrupted her, and hid her face in her hands.
"Wait, what? Why? Was he so bad?"   "NO! Jesus, Mary, no, he- he was good... But the sex is not the point!" Y/N shook her head.  "Well then, what's the problem?" "We're friends, and... and... and did you not just hear what's happened?! We had intercourse-" "Don't say intercourse, Y/N/N, it's old and it's weird," Mary interrupted. "Well, we did it-" "You're not five, Y/N, I believe the word you're looking for is-" "Oh my God, Mary, can we just not talk about this?! Please?" Y/n couldn't do this conversation anymore, and with a short "OK" from her noisy friend, Y/N left their living room. 
It had been days since her and Mary's conversation about Y/N's wild night with Barry. Luckily for her, Barry was needed in Star City for a week, so the awkward meet was yet to come. Of course, Y/N knew that it had to happen sooner or later, though later had worked out just fine for the past days, hence why she was still rooting for that method – despite Mary's constant nagging.
The morning came quicker than usual as Y/N woke up by the sudden urge to throw up. This confused her, considering Y/N was never sick – well, excluding the days she actually happened to be, of course. So when she found herself hanging over the toilet, she couldn't help being both frustrated as well as disgusted. 
"Y/N, are you ok?" Mary's voice came from the other side of the locked bathroom door. Y/N never locked the bathroom door – she feared she would get shut in and stuck during a fire – which happened more often than you would think (let's just say that Mary wasn't the best at cooking, or with fires). "Uhm... yeah, just-" She was interrupted by a second and hopefully last round of vomit. "Y/N?" "Yeah, I'm fine, just a sec, Mary!" Y/N was panicking. Y/N was throwing up. Y/N never threw up. "Y/N Y/L/N, I demand you to open this door before I get creepy Jack  down the hall to kick this door open for me!" And that's how Y/N got herself in lockdown.
It was never fun to be at home, sick. Especially when one wasn't sick, but one's crazy overprotective roommate and best friend forced one to stay home because one acted a bit off and looked a bit pale in the morning. Y/N was currently in this situation. She didn't like it. At the moment she was walking around their apartment, feeling 100% good to go to work. "You look terrible today as well, Y/N, you're not going anywhere. I'm telling Mrs. Norman, so if I get a phone call that your toe has even touched the air of the other side of that door, you'll be dead," Mary had told her. 
This was it, the last drop, she was done, finished, finito with staying home any longer. Y/N had just finished her third film of the day, and just laying there was getting her a migraine. 'OK, I'm going out! I'm a grown woman! A big girl, an independent girl! I can do whatever I want to! My best friend can't make me stay at home!' Y/N went for her purse and was ready to walk out the door, but as if Mary could read minds, Y/N's phone rung. "Hello?" Y/N sounded as chirpy as she could, feeling nervous as hell. "Hey, Y/N! Just wanted to make sure you haven't left!" Mary knew her better than anyone, and it was almost scaring Y/N a bit. Almost. 
Three knocks on the door followed by the sound of a pair of keys, and then the door opened. The familiar squeak made its way to Y/N's ears as she laid on her bed in misery. "Hey, Y/N, are you alright?" It was Barry. 'Barry? Is he back home?' Y/N tried not to let her panic take overhand. Anger suddenly washed over her, if this was Mary's work, a certain brunette would be in deep trouble when she came back from work...
"Hey, I uh... I brought flowers," Barry's voice could be heard from the living room, and Y/N's mind was twisting and turning: Should she go on and play sick? It would certainly delay the awkward conversation that was bound to happen... Deciding it was her best option at the time, Y/N made out a weak cough, and answered her friend: "In here, Barry!" as sickly she could manage.
"Hi, how're you feeling?" Barry stepped inside carefully, as if the floor would cause her more pain.  "I'm ok, my head hurts a bit, and I'm a bit nauseous," Y/N thought that her breasts being tender were a fact she didn't have to share. "Uhm..." looking as Barry's ears had just turned tomato red, Y/N scolded herself for saying her thoughts out loud.
"Mary told you to come here?" Y/N tried her best changing the subject quickly as well as keeping her act.  "Uhm, no, heard it from Caitlin actually. She was.. uh... on the phone with Mary I think. She, uhm, she's a loud talker," "Caitlin or Mary?" "Both," the two laughed, Y/N throwing in a couple of coughs. When the laughing calmed down, and the tension started to grow, it was as if her guardian angel saved her, and Barry's phone rung. "Uhm, sorry, I have to go, Captain Singh needs me at the office..." "Yeah, of course, you just go and save the city by stirring in chemicals," her good-bye made him laugh as he made his way out the door in a hurry. 
"Y/N?" Mary asked. They were currently sitting on the couch, eating pizza and watching How I Met Your Mother.  "Yeah?" "Pee on this for me, will you? I think you're pregnant," the brunette said, throwing a box at Y/N – who were almost choking on her food. "Excuse me?!"  "Just do it, it won't hurt, and you've been feeling bad for days. Now be quick and get it done already before I eat this up," 
"This is stupid," Y/N said. It turned out that Mary had seen the episode airing on TV "a thousand times", so they were now hovering over the white stick somewhat curious and excited. "Because I can't be pregnant... OH, MY GOD!” Y/N couldn’t believe it. It said positively. "Is it Barry's?" Mary broke the silence "What?!" "Well, you're obviously not Mother Teresa, and you're not the one to sleep around; I mean, I'm just tying up the loose ends..." "Oh my God, Mary, can we just not talk about this?! Please?" Y/N was still trying to cope with the fact that a living creature was growing inside her vagina. "Yeah, yeah of course..." And the night continued, Mary planning out how she would be the cool aunt of the unborn baby, and Y/N denying the scary fact that she would become a mother in roughly nine months.
"You need to tell him, Y/N," Mary said, looking at her best friend while trying her best not to tick off the ice cream-eating bipolar monster. 'I thought we agreed not to talk about this,'  Was what Y/N wanted and meant to say, though because of the piece of heaven that was melting inside her mouth, it rather came out sounding more like: "Eh ohuph uh a-edh umph uh ahk a-ou es!" Mary, on the other hand, managed to translate the faded message by the clear look in Y/N's eyes. "That was three weeks ago,"  "Ugh!!" And the monster sunk her head in the pillows surrounding her, letting out a loud cry of frustration.
"What about Coby?" Y/N asked her friend.  "Because Cody is too common for you?" Mary answered, still skimming through her magazine in the other end of the sofa.  "I don't know, he just feels like a Coby," Y/N answered, looking down at er stomach – if she really just concentrated hard enough, she could see the little bump forming. "Yeah, you've just begun the first trimester, so sorry hun, but the kiddo doesn't even have a face, let alone a pair of good functionating lungs,"  "You're right, but what about Bia? Or Dory? What do you think about those?" Y/N asked, and at this, Mary set her Vouge away and looked her friend straight in the eyes.
"I think that if you want to name your child after a Pixar/Disney-cartoon fish, you better talk to the daddy..." "Yeah, Dory was a bit too creative maybe... How about Elza? Elza is cool, or Logan? He was always my favorite. Though Jess was also-" Y/N's attempt on ignoring her friend's change of topic failed hard when Mary interrupted her. "Y/N this is getting serious. You haven't even hung out with Barry much for the past weeks. Remember when you two couldn't stay away from each other for more than six hours? I remember that very well. I also remember him being your number one topic to talk about 24/7," 
She was right. Mary was right and Y/N knew it, though she couldn't help it! All she could think of when picturing their first real talk since the one four weeks ago was BABYBABYBABY. Imagine how stressed he would be? He made one mistake, and now he was forced into a huge commitment. In addition to that, this was not what Y/N wanted herself. She wanted to get kids with the man in her life. And currently, that was her dad, considering her status on Facebook was still remaining 'single'. 
"But how Mary? How do I confront him with this? He's going to be a dad! And when I tell him, he will have two options: A, to agree to all terms and conditions, to become a dad and parent with me, or he can B, politely decline and leave my life forever! Mary, I can't bear a life without him!" She hadn't even realized the tears running down her cheeks before now.  "He won't leave you, do you hear me? He will never ever leave you," Mary tried her best reassuring her friend, patting Y/Non the head while whispering soft comforting words.
"You know, having a pregnant roommate is way more expensive than you would think," Mary came in the door with four bags full of food. "Yeah, yeah, where's the pickles?" Y/N asked frantically, to which Mary gave her one of the bags. "I mean, not only does it drench your wallet, but also your mentality. Here you go by the way, bought eleven jars, just for you," Y/N went for it, and opened the first one in sight. But just as she was about to open the lid and down all of the juice like she had done for the now empty seven jars in their fridge, she stopped. "Yuck, how disgusting is this? Do we have any chocolate?"  “Like I said, drenching my wallet and mentality...” Mary said looking up to the roof, shaking her head.
Y/N was currently in her thirteenth week, and her clothing style had changed drastically for a couple of weeks. 'They are meant for comfort and coverage,' she had told Mary when her friend had commented that she couldn't leave the apartment in 'the biggest sweatshirt in the building' and her pajama pants. So you could imagine Barry's shock when he not only saw his once best friend and crush clothed in uncharacteristically clothing but also for the first time in months. How Y/N had managed to avoid him for that long?
Y/N laid in her bed, computer on her lap, popcorn within her hand's reach, and sipping on a coke. Her mind was parallelled set on the kittens in the video she was watching, and how cool it would be when her stomach finally would grow to a proper, usable size AKA when she could drop the coffee table in the living room, and do a Phoebe Buffay. 
Interrupting her thoughts, her phone started ringing, leaving her annoyed as she had to pause her YouTube-watching. "Hello?" She said unaware of whom it wa son the other side of the line.  "Hey Y/N/N, just wondering where you-" It wasBarry. Her Barry. What was she to do?! "Sorry, wrong number," Y/N said in the deepest voice she could muster, as she quickly hung up on the poor, oblivion guy.
Though that wasn’t it, Y/N really was creative with her avoiding methods. She needed to go to the store? She asked Mary. Mary said no? She asked Mrs. Norman. Mary figured that out, got mad at her, and told Mrs. Norman not to worry about it? Y/N asked creepy Jack down the hall, whom she knew Mary wouldn’t dare to talk to. But how about her job? In addition to having a feminist extremist as a boss, Y/N was a writer for a magazine. So simply explaining her situation, adding a couple of white lies, and finishing with a strong apology with a touch of ‘I promise to work twice as hard at home,’ Y/N was off the hook. 
But just as any hormonal pregnant woman, Y/N got enough of her hiding – it should be him hiding, not her! To this Mary had told her that Barry didn’t have the knowledge to why he had to hide (which apparently, Mary didn’t have either) and she was being ‘irrational and not herself,’ which Y/N obviously ignored. Hence why she left their home to get the right chocolate milk, because creepy Jack simply didn’t do the job properly. 
"Y/N? Is that you?" Barry couldn't be too careful when it came to assuming  – let's just say this wasn't the first time he had "seen"  Y/N in public. Though at the mention of her name, Y/N turned to see who had said her name. Her eyes locked into his for mere seconds before Y/N turned away in hope her invisibility powers would quickly appear and hide her. Such a pity Y/N wasn't a meta...
"It is you!" Barry jogged up to her. Great, what was she to do now?  "Hi...!"  Y/N answered back, holding her basket with milk in a tight grip. "How've you been? I haven't heard anything from you for so long..." Barry said, just standing there in front of the girl he loved.  "Uhm, a bit ill actually... Yeah, that's why I haven't had the time to hang out," quite happy about her explanation, Y/N stood there ready to go. 
"For three months?" Barry asked, not completely convinced. "Yeah," Y/n faked a cough, "really bad flu,"  "I see, well, do you want to grab dinner Friday?" "Friday? As in now Friday? in three days?" Barry nodded, and Y/N shut her eyes as if she had to think of her plans for the rest of the week.  'Should I say yes? It would be quite suspicious if I told him no... But he will know! On the other hand, Big Belly Burger does sound tempting...' "Big Belly Burger?" Y/N asked with a smile on her face, which Barry gladly returned. "Yeah! Good, I'll pick you up at six," Barry winked at her, then left. 'What have I gotten myself into?'
"This is good, Y/N! Now you can finally tell him!" Mary said, proud of the maturity her friend was showing. "Telling him? Are you kidding, I'm not gonna tell him anything! We're just grabbing some burgers..." Y/N defended herself. Wouldn't that be scandalous, her telling him? He would flee the country to just get away from her. "You're not serious now, are you?" When Y/N didn't answer her, Mary took a deep sigh. "You are aware of that you're pushing him away from you, right? Because that's why you don't want to tell him because you don't want to lose him? So I'd use some more time to think before you just go on your date-" "It's not a date!" "- later today, and keep your secret safe," Mary finished and left the room for Y/N to remake her decision.
It had taken her blood, sweat, and tears – literally, but Mary finally made Y/N agree to tell Barry about her pregnancy. But after a brutal paper cut, an intense discussion, and while following the DVD-aerobic-instructor, Mary argued her way to victory, Y/N left their apartment in defeat.
Walking next to Barry, Y/N started to regret her choice of clothes – no scratch that, Mary's choice of clothes. Because Y/N was supposed to tell Barry she was pregnant anyway, and 'It's a date for fuck's sake, and you like him, you might as well dress proper!' So there she was. Next to the guy she loved, feeling more insecure about her body as ever, in hope Barry hadn't noticed. And even though he didn't show it, Barry did notice. But the thought of her being pregnant? That hadn't nor ever would've crossed his mind. 
"God, I'm hungry... Haven't eaten since lunch, how 'bout you?" Barry asked, not really sure of what to say. The conversation usually came naturally between the two of them. "Starving," Y/N said, but kept out the fact that she ate an hour ago. "I could seriously eat a horse, or maybe even the whole team, when I think of it," she finished, and made Barry laugh.  "A whole team of horses?" He asked with a smile, to which Y/N chortled at. "Yes!"  "I don't believe you..." Barry said playfully, loving the feeling of the normality between him and the Y/H/C girl.  "Bartholomew Henry Allen, you've officially been challenged to a duel," Y/N said in the stiffest voice she could muster.  "A burger-eating contest?" "Well, if you want it to sound dull, so yeah..."
“Oh Holy Moses...” Y/N sighed and rubbed her stomach. In front of her was a grinning Barry Allen, and five un-eaten 500g-Double cheese-bacon-burger with sweet potato fries. "Told you you'd lose, though I'm impressed, not many can keep up with a speedster," "Trust me, it's not that difficult when you're eating for two!" Y/N said with a laugh, but it quickly stopped when she saw the look on his face. It was a good mixture of shock... shock... and more... shock.
"Uhm... Uh... yeah, I'm uh... I'm pregnant... Sur-surprise?" Y/N had never been this nervous ever.  "You're pregnant?" Barry couldn't believe it. Who was the father? For how many months? Why hadn't she told him before? Was this the reason she hadn't talked to him for so long? However, he decided to keep those questions for himself, afraid of the answers – especially the first one, hadn't he meant anything for her?  "Uhm, yeah... Due date's 4th of April,"
"Who knows?" He asked again, "... is the father aware?" He finished. "Mary and you are the only ones. Mom and dad are kind of still in the dark..." Y/N felt ashamed saying it out loud.  "Ok, well, how are you feeling about it?" He asked, his concern warming Y/N's heart. She was so sure this would have ended completely different – hell she had cut off all contact for three months, and she'd continued if it hadn't been for their random encounter at the supermarket.  "It was hard to cope with in the beginning, though I've grown fond of the little creature,"  "I just want you to know that I'm not leaving your side anytime from this moment, Y/N. You're stuck with me, and there's nothing you can do about it."
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