#also doesn't help i've been off for over a week
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Making dinner as soon as I get home from work is definitely The Move in terms of like.. effective scheduling and getting my ass in bed at a reasonable hour
But hooooooo boy
By the time i get gome from work and spend the time and energy cooking dinner it's like 6pm
And my lunch is at like... 11am
So i really start to Flag as i'm plating things up there Hoo boy
#monster noises#i'm sure my body will fall into the rythmn of it#it'll start Knowing when to Properly get hungry#but for now Oof#also doesn't help i've been off for over a week#thrown the whole routine out the damn window#but i'm back now and i'm gunna be keepin it Consistent
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pharma really is such an interesting case. one thing i’ve always felt with pharma is that he absolutely doesn’t want consequences. and facing up to it requires a lot of looking at and showing people what he’s done and you know. the consequences. i mean hell he’d rather start a plague than say “hey i got coerced into doing a very bad thing by the djd”
I do understand what you mean about Pharma not wanting to face consequences, but on the other hand, I kind of understand why Pharma made a plague rather than admit to medical malpractice/murder? Because like, the thing that I don't see brought up often enough with regards to Pharma is that blackmail... is blackmail. Like, as someone who's unfortunately been on the receiving end of blackmail, the entire point of blackmailing someone is that you corner them into doing bad things by convincing them that they CAN'T turn to an authority figure to ask for help. Like, the person doing the blackmailing generally convinces the person who's getting blackmailed that if they try to reach out for help, the law/authorities/etc either won't care about their predicament or will punish them for the bad thing they did that they're getting blackmailed about.
I kind of feel like (and this isn't an attack on you, just a commentary about the nature of blackmail) when someone like Ratchet looks at Pharma and says "but you could've called for help or shut down the clinic or anything!", it kind of ignores the fact that...... when you're being blackmailed you're fucking terrified, and people who are terrified generally don't jump to the most rational, safe solutions possible? When you add in the fact that Pharma was blackmailed by Tarn of the DJD, notorious hater of Autobots and fanatic leader of a torture club, it's not hard to imagine that Pharma was both afraid and in pain (or threat of pain) while at Delphi and thus wouldn't be thinking straight about it.
I don't know, like. Yeah, on one hand Pharma made a plague and killed a bunch of people to try and cover up his crimes and maintain his career. But he didn't just do it for ego related reasons, he was also almost certainly facing threats of torture and death.
#squiggle answers#pharma apologism#i think i'm biased on this issue so anyone can come in here and add their thoughts or correct me#i guess it just bothers me because like. i've kind of been in that situation (not as serious as pharma's) where i didn't ask for help#and when i got in trouble for not asking for help afterwards and instead choosing to lie or go behind someone's back or whatever#it was generally bc i was more afraid of punishment by The People In Charge#than i was afraid of lying or breaking the rules or doing other bad things#and when i got accused (by the people in charge) of seeing myself as above the rules or thinking i was better/smarter than them#it always pissed me off because i was like. bro i didn't lie to you for fun and games i lied to you because i was afraid#that if i asked you for help you would just shun me or get pissed off at me and punish me#also re: the blackmail i was a victim of. the thing about that is it was over something ultimately petty (stupid internet drama)#and i was PROBABLY never in any real danger but like. the issue was that i FELT like i was in danger#fear is powerful. fear of being threatened at any time or having the things you care about taken away is especially powerful#i had nightmares p much once a week for months during the ordeal and still sometimes do now#like idk i really am biased on this matter but like. just bc pharma made the plague to cover up his crimes#doesn't mean that that's the ONLY reason is what i'm saying#when ppl lie and cover up things about that it's not just about ego but about dumb animal terror#and i mean. to get back to the pharma apologism brand. ratchet KNEW pharma was being blackmailed but he fucking ditched him anyways#this is the guy who was supposed to be his bestie of millions of years and he fucking told pharma he was dead to him#and that's the guy who pharma thought would UNDERSTAND. imagine what he thought other autobots would think of him#also i have a theory that tarn probably psychologically tortured pharma by telling him the autobots would just lock him up for his crimes#as a way to get pharma to not tell anyone and keep supplying him cogs. because you know. blackmail
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bleh
#having a bad morning tbhhhh#i envy the ppl who grew up here :| it's so much easier to make friends when u went to school w ppl and grew up with them#i have been here since 2016 and was just trying to get stability the first 3 years financially/housing-wise.#and when i was Finally ready to start making friends the pandemic happened.#the closest thing I've had to friends were made thru my ex and when we broke up they ghosted me.#to this day i have not made a single genuine friend and i can't articulate how hurtful that is to think about.#and i get excited when i might have a new friend but do the audhd balancing act where i tone myself down so i don't scare them away#but then idk. maybe i just come off as uninteresting or indifferent. idk what the perception of me is bc no one ever tells me anything lol.#i just get ghosted a lot 😭 it's Literally so much easier to find ppl to fuck than it is to find friends. idk why this is so hard but it's#frustrating. everyone has lukewarm interest in me at best and i have so much to offer when I've opened up to someone.#and i can't rly talk w ppl about how I'm feeling. and i can't do anything but keep trying over and over or else i WILL fr have no friends.#it's just. like. I'm not a normal person w normal circumstances and interacting w people who already have a ton of friends and stuff#going on is hard. there's like this burning desire for companionship in u as the person NEEDING it that no one else has#bc they already have it yk? ur just kind of a footnote on everyone's day/week. u don't have that kind of relationship where#u can Just Go Over or just have ppl over. ppl can hang like once a month maybe. i hate it here but also don't want to leave :|#everything is great except trying to make friends. idk i just wanted to vent lol I'm done ranting and might just delete#but this feeling wells up inside me and some days is so hard to ignore 😭#'i have been here since 2016 and don't have a single genuine Friend' what the fuck 😭😭#ik that wfh doesn't Help but i wouldn't be able to get anything done in person in my position lol. plus it's less about where ppl are#and more about how relationships (dont) develop past a certain point.#i have someone I've been talking with probs longest out of everyone so far and we're gonna hang this weekend#but I'm also perpetually afraid I'm gonna scare them away or something and be back at square 1 😭#and idk im afraid that might translate into seeming shy or something and I'd hate for them to lose interest anyways ._.#but idk how much of that is valid vs my brain just being mean to me and paranoid over my other experiences.#anyways... yea thnx for reading if u did. i feel crazy 😮💨
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Hey, so, Patreon is lying to you about Apple forcing their hand.
Patreon is getting rid of 1st-of-the-month/per-creation billing, claiming a new decision by Apple has forced their hand. This will hurt a lot of creatives, and their excuse is bullshit. Allow me to explain.
In 2018, Patreon tried to impose a new ill-considered fee structure on everyone that would have cost creators a lot of smaller pledges. They ended up apologizing for this profusely; they have now deleted this apology from their website and unfortunately I was unable to find it on the Internet Archive. This was shameful, but to their credit they backed off quickly when things got ugly.
Back in 2021, Patreon discussed plans to force all creators into a rolling bill structure and get rid of first-of-the-month/pay-up-front billing. The community once again very decisively shouted them down, and they had to walk it back again. This whole fiasco damaged the already shaky trust between Patreon creators and staff.
This week, Patreon announced that, along with extra fees, Apple's policies were supposedly forcing them to move everyone over to the rolling fee structure that they first tried to get us to agree to in 2021. Patreon will tell you they are not happy about this. As a person who spent a long time watching Patreon make terrible decisions, I can tell you-- they are probably very happy about this, because it's exactly the smokescreen they needed to do what they've been trying to do for years, which is pull ALL Patreon creators away from 1st-of-the-month and per-creation billing.
The spin in the news I've seen so far is "Apple bullies Patreon, boo hoo hoo poor Patreon". This is very obviously not what's happening. Mind you: Apple does suck, and they are doing something bad here. Fuck apple. But Patreon and Apple are BOTH the asshole in this situation; Everyone Sucks Here. Patreon has options: they can make the iOS app a reader app and do billing through the browser to avoid the restrictions and the extra fees (Netflix and Amazon, notably, both do this), or they can allow creators to opt-out of iOS billing if they want to use billing models that don't work with it.
It seems most likely to me that the Apple situation is a real fire that Patreon has chosen to use as a convenient smokescreen to do what they've been wanting to do since at least 2021, and maybe since 2018.
What do we do?:
They have a feedback form specifically about this.
They also have a creator discord.
And they have lots of social media pages where they probably really, really hope that this doesn't blow up again, because they never learn. The incidents I've described here aren't the only two other times Patreon has pissed off their creators. They know if they don't contain the noise it'll be harder to get away with it, so make some noise. They've done a lot of work to spin this cleverly so you'll have sympathy for them and they won't get the kind of backlash they know they deserve.
Please don't misuse these links and make threats or spam or something. All you have to do is give well-reasoned feedback. Patreon hates feedback. Make sure they get a nice heaping helping of their least favorite vegetable.
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pornography (eric draven x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, foul language, groping/fondling, dry-humping lol, mentions of substance abuse
summary: when you finally talk to Eric Draven in rehab, it doesn't take long before you get drawn together by a force stronger than anything you have ever encountered. it doesn’t help the situation that you eventually find out Eric has been drawing pictures of you… nude
word count: 2,337 PART 1, PART 2, PART 3
a/n: this is for all the girlies like me that just came home from watching The Crow and got their mind blown by how hot Bill was in it... holy fuck. had to write this blurb because I am so shaken up, I can't feel my face. enjoy!! there will be more parts hihi...
"I fucking hate pink,"
I couldn't believe that was the first thing I said to him-- the dark and broody stranger I had been eyeing through my first few weeks in rehab. He stared back at me, confusion swimming in his big green eyes, probably pondering why I had sat down next to him in the cafeteria. "Pardon?"
"It's a little ridiculous," I tried, watching as he put down his cutlery, pushing his food away as he gave me his full attention. Tugging at my pink sweater, which we were all wearing, I let out a nervous chuckle. "Whose idea was it to put a lot of addicts in pink, anyway?"
My eyes darted down to his hands as I waited for his answer-- they were huge up close, and completely covered in tattoos. I hadn't noticed them from afar; I had only noticed the ones peeking through the top of his shirt when he would pass me by in the hall, or the big eye he had on his chest that I had seen while passing by his room. I knew it wasn't nice to peek into his room while he was changing, but I was quite frankly starved of any male contact-- any girl would go crazy in here.
He eventually shrugged, giving me the answer I least expected; "I guess pink is supposed to be a calming colour. It's not that bad," I watched as the corners of his mouth tugged upwards, giving away hints of amusement. "Aren't you girls supposed to like pink?"
"Maybe," I mumbled, nudging food around on my plate with my fork. "I just don't like to wear it. It doesn't suit me."
The handsome stranger didn't seem to agree, another shrug following accompanied by a shy laugh. "I can't figure out whether you're being sincere or searching for compliments,"
This was most definitely not how I wanted to come off. I straightened up, resting my elbows against the table as I cleared my throat. "I'm just trying to make conversation,"
"... Why?"
"Because you've been staring at me almost as much as I've been staring at you," I put down my fork, hoping he didn't see how nervous I was. In truth, he had been staring-- it wasn't all purely one-sided. I had caught him staring at me in the courtyard, on my way to the shower, and I had also caught him lingering outside my room several times. He would usually leave when I came out, disappearing down the hall with speed I wouldn't even dream to catch up with.
He finally gave in to a smirk, nodding to himself as he lowered his head. "Sorry," It was clear that he hadn't thought he'd be called out like this. However, something told me he wasn't too upset about being caught either.
"Don't be," I said, feeling my anxiety ripping through my veins. Why was I indulging? "I just--"
It was at this moment that a guard appeared behind him, yanking him away from the table with a harshness that made me gasp. I clasped my hand over my mouth, watching as he barely reacted to the brutality.
"Guys and girls eat separately!" the guard yelled at me, slamming his fist down on the table.
My eyes widened, looking back at the handsome stranger. "But I-- I was the one who sat down here, he didn't do anything!" I protested, watching as the guard grabbed him and led him away. Groaning, I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated with the rules at this place. Why was it so fucking strict?
I eventually looked up just in time to see that the man had managed to turn around, smirking my way; "I'm Eric!" he said, holding back a laugh as he was shoved along the cafeteria for everyone to see.
Despite the horror washing over me for getting him in trouble, I managed to croak out my name as well. It seemed that he appreciated that I had at least tried to stick up for him-- What was it that I had just started?
My question would be answered a lot quicker than I had expected.
A few days passed, and more looks and stares were exchanged. I was dying to talk to Eric again. I knew I hadn't been sent to rehab to make friends or get feelings for someone, but something was gnawing at me to talk to him again. I wanted to be around him constantly; what was happening to me? I recognized this feeling-- it was the same feeling I got when I really, really craved something... Fuck, how I missed drugs. Maybe Eric was turning into a substitute?
It wasn't often that the door to Eric's room was open, but today it was. I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't taken the extra lap around the institute as usual, hoping to get a glimpse of him through the small window in his door. But today, I didn't have to get on my tippytoes to get a look-- there he was, picking up several drawings that had been scattered around the floor. His room looked like a mess, completely unlike how I was used to seeing it through the tiny window. This looked like the result of one of those raids that the prison guards sometimes did when they suspected there were hidden drugs in a patient's room.
I felt sorry for him; I knew how horrible it could feel to have someone rip through all your stuff. But as I bent down and picked up a few drawings that were at my feet, my lips parted in surprise.
It seemed I wasn't the only one caught off guard; Eric noticed me standing in his doorway, letting out a relieved sigh as he watched me inspect his drawings. He called out my name, leaning against the wall as he sized me up and scanned me, crossing his arms over his chest.
I cleared my throat; "Is this... me?" I held up the first drawing of the bunch. It was a sketch of me sitting in the courtyard, and I was sure that it was me-- I suppose it was my shock asking for confirmation.
Eric snickered, kicking off the wall. "Yeah... Sorry,"
"Stop saying sorry," I shuffled through the drawings, finding he had drawn me in multiple settings, and it was clear that I had been watched the few weeks I'd been here. "These are beautiful, Eric... I guess I'm honoured--" My words trailed off as I finally approached the last drawing. Was that...?
He didn't even try to take it away from me. Eric sighed, looking away as his cheeks flushed a light pink, similar to our uniforms.
Judging by his reaction, I had a feeling he wasn't so against me seeing this. It was a sketch of me, after all-- nude.
I had to swallow rather hard for anything to go down. I couldn't pinpoint why I wasn't absolutely horrified at this. "So... this is what you've been up to in here, huh?" There was no stopping the smirk that spread across my lips, holding back a flustered giggle. "This is next-level pervy, do you know that?"
It didn't take long before Eric's big hands ripped the drawings out of my hands, turning away as he shook his head. "Every artist needs a muse, no?"
"A muse? How can I be your muse if we don't know each other?"
"That's not how it works," he mumbled, throwing away the drawings into a heap on the bed. "Your beauty is all I need to get inspired."
This was enough to shock me into silence. I inhaled a sharp breath, stepping into Eric's room despite knowing it was forbidden. "So now you think I'm beautiful?"
Eric hummed, finally turning to meet my eyes. "It hasn't been the biggest secret, has it?" There was something playful about him, shameless, as though it didn't matter to him that I had just found his handmade porn. "It gets a little lonely in here, I guess. These drawings just... run out of me like water. Can't control it."
There was something so unimaginably tantalizing about Eric. Everything about him made me want to jump him then and there-- was it maybe the result of my withdrawals that were turning my brain into further mush? In a normal setting, this would have creeped me out to infinity and beyond, but knowing this was coming from the man I had been lusting after from afar for several weeks made me excuse it in a heartbeat.
I had no idea what possessed me to close the door to his room and lock it, knowing the repercussions could be severe if we were caught. But Eric didn't seem to mind; his green eyes widened, watching my every move like a hawk.
"It was really pretty and all... The drawing, I mean," I said, inching closer to where he had sat down on the bed. "But would you maybe want some inspiration for the next one?"
Eric's plush, pink lips parted, eyes rounding out in surprise. Despite his shock, his big hands reached out for me as I came closer, and he pulled me in between his legs. I could feel him caressing my back through my shirt, holding me with the utmost gentle touch. "I'll take all I can get," he murmured, looking up at me through his brows, a knowing smirk spreading across his face.
I let out a giggle as he pressed his lips against my stomach through my shirt, enjoying the intense feeling of someone against my skin again after all this time. Eric pulled away, glancing at the door before slowly trailing his fingers under my shirt, testing the waters.
It didn't take long before that wasn't enough for him-- my breath hitched as Eric grabbed my waist, pulling me down with him on the bed. I barely had time to think before the euphoric feeling of being kissed engulfed me. Our lips met in an open, soft kiss, almost as though we were scared to break the other if we were too needy or harsh. As I straddled him, I felt his hands tugging at my shirt, dipping back under the fabric once more. His fingers gently ghosted over my lower back, eventually ending up trailing small circles with his thumbs along the underside of my bra.
If I hadn't been so starved of any human contact in here, I would've never jumped the opportunity like this. But none of us knew how long we had until the guards would bust us, and it only fueled the adrenaline pumping through our veins. Our kisses became desperate, hungry, and I let out a whimper against his lips as he took the liberty of cupping my chest, feeling me up to his heart's delight. I knew I had been waiting for this moment since the first time I saw him, and I wasn't about to let it slip through my fingers-- I decided to let him do whatever he wanted to me, no matter what.
I could feel Eric's cock twitch beneath me, clearly aroused. It was also at this moment that he made me sit up, tugging my shirt off of me before laying back down to scan me. Was he memorizing my body for his next sketch? It wasn't every night that I had a handsome stranger beneath me like this, so I allowed him to trail his hands up and down my body, lips parting in delight. "Fuck... Yeah, this will do," he murmured, pupils dilating at the sight before him whether he wanted them to or not.
"You sure?" I asked, giggling to myself. My hands rested against his broad chest, letting out a sigh of delight; God, he was sexy. As I shifted in his lap, Eric's breath hitched as I seemingly sat down in the exact right spot. Almost as though he was possessed by instinct for a moment, he grabbed my hips, rocking me against him through the fabric of our clothes.
Who would've thought I'd be dry-humping this stranger and enjoy it so much? My hands gripped his shirt, a quiet moan spilling past my lips-- I had forgotten this feeling. This was mostly something I did when I was a teenager, before I figured out how to have proper sex with my high school boyfriend. But it felt so damn fucking good, desperate; it didn't take long before I leaned back down, capturing his plush lips in another kiss.
I craved him like water. I wanted him against me, in me, for him to take me in every possible position ever-- a deep, dark part of me knew I would be insatiable from now on.
But our moment of ecstasy was interrupted when a guard started banging his fist against the door, his muffled yells barely registering through my arousal. Despite my dazed state, it didn't take me long to drape my shirt back on, climbing off Eric with wobbly knees. "Shit," I mumbled, turning to him with wide eyes. "I'm screwed. We're screwed."
Everything about him was so damn beautiful. The kiss-swollen lips definitely didn't help how gorgeous I thought he looked right now. Despite the situation, knowing we were in deep shit, Eric let out a soft chuckle; "I don't think you're screwed enough, actually. We'll get to that another time,"
My eyes widened as I gave into a light giggle. There was no way this was happening-- had my naughty rehab dreams come true? The guard banging against the door was drowned out by the incessant ringing in my ears that festered through my mind as Eric leaned down to kiss me one last time; "I hope to see you around, if they don't kill us,"
"Yeah," I breathed, only now realizing how tall he was as I looked up to meet his gaze. This man was towering over me. Holy shit. "Can't wait to see your next masterpiece."
I couldn't wait. I really couldn't.
(a/n: PART 2, PART 3 here!! enjoy<33)
#the crow 2024#eric draven x reader#the crow x reader#the crow fanfiction#eric draven fanfiction#the crow#oneshot#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#bill skarsgård#bill skarsgård x reader#bill skarsgard#eric draven
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You need more free art.
I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.
You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.
We all need more free art.
So what am I going to do about it?
This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.
I'm going to do this:
1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.
This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.
Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.
2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.
Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.
Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.
I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.
2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY
To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.
On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.
You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.
3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS
Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).
The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.
4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE
I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.
tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!
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success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend
First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.
It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.
"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.
It happened, but... what did?
I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!
There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.
You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.
And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".
how did you manifest a celebrity dp?
You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?
The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.
If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:
— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."
— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.
— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.
— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.
I decided to delete the images proof due to rude comments and bullying in my asks.
Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.
"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."
"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."
Good luck ❤️. 222
#manifesting#manifestation#loa blog#loa#loa tumblr#law of assumption#law of attraction#law of manifestation#law of affirmation#success story
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AITA Steddie Au Part Three
Part Two
Hello! Sorry for the delay! This week was very busy with student conferences and my own midterms so I haven't had a lot of time to work on this. This is more of an interlude building up to bigger things, but I hope you enjoy it!
Also! Get in the comments if you have any ideas of an actual name for this series so I can stop calling it AITA Steeddie Au. I can't think of anything good 😓
------
Eddie takes Steve on that second date.
And then a third and a fourth and eventually he stops counting because he's seeing Steve as often as he can between their jobs and other responsibilities. He feels high off it, giddy with possibility and hope for this new thing that he's never had before.
Eddie has done relationships before, a couple of times. A small handful of boys and girls he took out on dates and tried his best to woo all went up in flames one way or another, but none of those relationships left him feeling so gone so fast. He felt like he was always holding himself back from giving himself up completely, too afraid of falling without a safety net to reach for that deep devotion he's always craved.
Steve makes him feel like they're plunging into that unknown together.
Still, no matter how much he's been trying to avoid it, the looming specter of what the hell to do about his friends is looming over his head.
------
"Are you fucking serious right now dude?" Eddie asks, a complicated mix of righteous anger, humiliation for himself and Steve, and complete disbelief at Gareth's unwillingness to back down from this making it increasingly difficult to keep his cool.
"Look man, all I'm saying is that Steve is like, the complete antithesis of literally everything we stand for. He's a nepo baby business major who's never had an original thought in his life! I would know! I've read one of his papers." Gareth says, forced nonchalance coloring his tone and riling Eddie up even more.
He rears up, shoulders pushing back and hands grasping at the air like he could pull down his frustration from the either and condense it into a solid ball he could lob at Garteth's head to finally knock some goddamn sense into his brain.
"Hey, hey, hey. Okay, Eddie, I'm really sorry about this. It was a fucked up idea, I don't know what we were thinking." Jeff interveins before the frustrated banshy noises Eddie is letting out turn into another yelling match that won't get anyone anywhere.
"I think we just got too caught up wanting to help you get out of this rut and it all turned into something completely insane. You don't gotta forgive us Eddie, but if there's anything we can do to try and make up for it, we'll do it. Isn't that right Gareth?" Jeff pointedly asked with a look that says agree with me right now or else.
Gareth doesn't say anything.
The thing about all of this that Eddie just can't wrap his head around is the why. Why would his friends, his sheepies, do something so cruel? He knows none of them have ever looked kindly at people like Steve. Too many traumatizing high school humiliations behind them all to trust when someone who looks so much like all the guys who bullied them in high school tries to reach out, but Gareth and Jeff have never tried something like this. In fact, it's used to be Eddie doing most of the anti-jock revenge planning back in the day, even if nothing ever actually came from it.
He thought, incorrectly it seems, that they had grown out of the worst of it by now. It's been three years since Garteth graduated, and five since Eddie made his final attempt, and leaving their hometown behind did a lot to heal old hurts.
So why this? Why now?
"Is this seriously how it's going to be man? You won't tell me what the fuck any of this was really about and you're not even going to try and apologize? Seriously?" The righteous anger is starting to seep out of him, leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion.
Gareth just continues to stare at him defiantly, not saying a word.
Eddie pinches his nose and takes a deep breath, "You know what? Fine. Whatever. If this is how it's going to be then I'm out. Jeff, I'll talk to you later, probably not for a little bit though. Gareth?" The other man lifts his head from where he'd been looking down at his shoes. There were tears in his eyes, just a little bit but enough for Eddie to clock it. Face red from some unnamed cocktail of emotions Eddie doesn't have the energy or desire to interrogate right now. "Call me when you're ready to grow the fuck up. I've got a second date to plan."
With that, Eddie turned on his heel and made for the open garage door.
"What about the band, man?!" Gareth called.
Eddie kept walking.
-------
That was over four weeks ago.
He hasn't spoken to Gareth for most of that time. The first couple of days he blew up his phone with angry to half-apologizing texts that Eddie promptly ignored. After the second day, he sent a single text back letting him know he didn't want to talk unless he had a real explanation and apology to give both him and Steve and that he was going to block his number for a little while. He could let Freak know if he was ever ready to talk like adults. Eddie trusted him to tell if Gareth was being genuine.
In other news.
Waking up to strong arms secured around his naked waist is fast becoming Eddie's favorite way to start the day. He and Steve slept together for the first time last week, and since then it's like neither of them can get enough of each other.
"Hey, baby." Steve rasps in his ear, tilting his head down to smear sleepy kisses onto his shoulder. The hand that was resting against his ribs meanders its way down to the trail of hair under his navel, scratching just a little and making Eddie feel like a contented mutt. He's not sure if he should feel horny or like he could sink into the mattress and sleep for another full 8 if Steve keeps holding him like his.
"Mornin' sweetheart." he says deciding that a couple more hours of sleep is definitely the way to go. Steve, it seems, has other idead.
"What you thinkin' about this early in the morning?" He asks, hand continuing to scratch lazily at Eddie's stomach like he's not completely destroying Eddie's will and ability to focus on anything but the warm body behind him.
But it's been a long time coming, and as much as he doesn't want to, Eddie needs to start thinking about what he wants to do about his friends? former friends? estranged family? band and Steve deserves to be a part of the conversation.
Eddie sits up, bringing Steve up with him to rest against the headboard. "I've been thinking about the band. Gareth and Jeff, that is." He pauses, waits for some kind of reaction that doesn't come. Steve looks concerned, but not in the way he thought he would.
"Ok." Steve responds, waiting for more.
"I guess I just don't know what to do." He looks out into the middle distance of Steve's bedroom. Takes in the display of swim, basketball, and baseball trophies displayed proudly on a shelf, catching the early morning light. "I'm still so fucking mad. It's honestly kind of irritating how mad it makes me to think of what they did. It was so fucking stupid."
Steve hums a little, letting Eddie get it out.
"But at the same time I can't help but fucking miss them. Miss the music and the campaigns and everything else." It's honestly been eating him alive, the mix of anger and longing he's been feeling for his friends. The constant longing to go back in time and stop them from concocting this shit show but also, like, stalk Gareth to his 8 AM Business class so he can run into Steve and they can fall in love at first sight or some shit.
Silence.
Steve shifts. Moves so he can look Eddie right in the face. He looks thoughtful in a way that Eddie had to get used to. Sometimes when Steve is thinking hard about something, he scrunches his face in such a way that it makes him look like he's judging you. He isn't, it's just an unfortunate fact of life that his baby has a resting Judgemental Face™.
Steve heaves out a big breath, bringing Eddie back down to earth. "I mean, I don't want to, like, cloud your judgement or whatever but maybe you should try and talk to them one more time. Jeff appologized right?"
And, ok that's definetly not what Eddie was expecting to hear. It must show on his face because Steve is suddenly looking away, embaraced.
"I just..." He trails off, taking his own turn staring out at the dull shine of his old acomplishments. Eddie watches as his face once again turns pensive as he stares harder at the remnents of his high school acheivements.
"I used to be a pretty shitty guy. Did the same kind of shit your buddies did a couple of times." This isn't necessarily news to Eddie. They've talked a little about who Steve was in high school and how much work he put into himself before he decided to go back to college. It's still a bit of a shock to hear, though.
"So I get how someone can make a mistake like that, y'know? So if you want to try and talk it out, I won't be offended. I know we're in this together, now." Peace said, Steve reaches for Eddie's hand and gives it a squeeze.
It hits Eddie again, just how good Steve Harrington is. It hasn't been long, not really, since they got together but they've fallen together so completley, so easily, that it's easy to forget that there's still so much they have to learn, so many layers for Eddie to peal back. Behind every judgemental remark and complaint about the frequent phone calls he gets from chuldren he used to babysit in his hometown is a man who cares deeply and is capable of great forgiveness, even if it hasn't been earned yet.
Eddie squeezes his hand back.
"Are you sure?" Eddie asks.
"Yeah, it's not we have to totally forgive them, right? But I think you need to get a real answer from both of them about why it happened. Maybe you can find a way past it, maybe they'll say something that puts the nail in the coffin." He responds.
Eddie takes a deep breath, and thinks.
Steve is right. Eddie isn't satisfied with any of the answers he got last time, and he knows that there has to be more to the story than "trying to get Eddie out of a rut" and he's not going to be able to put any of this to rest until he understands.
"Ok, yeah. I'll call them." Steve gives him an encouraging smile at that, rubbing the back of Eddie's hand where they haven't let go yet.
"Good, I'm glad. And I can come with you if you want. Hit em from both sides." he says. Eddie think's he'll take him up on that offer, but right now he had more imporant things to do. Namely, tackling his sweet boyfriend onto the mattress and having a mid morning tousle.
"We'll see. Right now I've got more imporant things to do." He says in his best aproximation of a sultry voice. He doesn't know how good it really is, but it seems to work based on the way Steve's eyes get hooded and he looks down at Eddie's mouth.
Gotcha.
Before Steve can lean down and kiss him, Eddie snaps his hands down to his boyfriend's sides in a well executed tickle atack. Steve immedietly jolts and starts howling with laughter, yelling between breaths that Eddie is "a fucking asshole" as he continues his relentless atacks.
Eventually, Steve manages to regain his bearings and go on the offence, turning them over and trapping his boyfriend's hands beneath his knees so he can atack Eddie's equally ticklish sides.
Once the late morning has passes into early noon and they've both settled back into Steve's signifigantly more rumpled be, Eddie takes one more moment to think about the furute to come before he shelves it. He knows that whatever conversation is to come, it won't be easy, and even if things go as smoothly as possible with Gareth and Jeff, things will never be the same between them all.
Looking down at Steve, who is sporting the most outrageous bedhead in human history, laughing at the stream of reals Robin sent him in the middle of the night, he thinks he'll be okay either way.
Tag List
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ATEEZ comforting you after you have a rough week.
Ot8 x reader
Warnings: hurt/comfort, lots of hugs, reader is overwhelmed in most of these, mentions of exams(scary ik), kinda corny tbh, also not proofread so there might be some mistakes.
A/n: i used most of my braincells 4 this 🫠 yea also this purely depended upon my mood so that's why some of them are just thoughts while the others are full blown conversations. will most likely rewrite this is in the future I think. Also I'm planning on opening taglists so if you want to be included just lmk!! (for ateez or any other group)
Words: 3.1k
Requested ♡ Ateez masterlist.
"When you feel like you're nowhere, Let it go 'cause I'll be there for you..."
⋆˚࿔ Hongjoong
• whenever things get a little too much, you'd usually suck it up
• it wasn't healthy, you know that yet you couldn't afford to fall back now so you did it anyway
• him, who's very sensitive to your every little changes in mood, of course, noticed it too
• you tend to sort of shut down whenever you get overwhelmed, causing you to get moody and quiet, often leading to minor arguments with him
• but he understands (being prone to overworking himself, he was never too fond of the after effects)
• but that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it
• ”you're taking a break.” “But I need to finish this-”
• he cut you off by closing your book, making sure to bookmark it before picking you up from the chair
• ”have you looked at yourself yet? you're about to collapse.”
• you fell silent at that, letting him carry you over to the bed, feeling your irritation dissolve at the stern tone, yet you could pick up on the hint of worry.
• ”but I need to finish it, or else I won't catch up on my work. I'm already behind in-”
• your worried ramblings was silenced by his lips pressing against yours for a brief moment
• ”i vaguely remember someone pulling me out of my studio, by my ear, when I was overworking myself.”
• he muttered, sitting beside you once he put you down on the bed, his hand reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear
• ”you should listen to your own advice, you know?”
• you could feel the tears pricking your eyes at his words, making you feel helpless and frustrated
• ”there's just…so much. i don't know if I'll ever finish it…what am I gonna do?”
• you mumbled, your lips trembling as you tried to bite back your sobs
• his expression softened at your words, pulling you into his embrace, stroking your hair
• ”i know. but exhausting yourself is only going to make it harder for you to catch up.”
• ”let's take a break, okay? you need to rest, let your mind calm down first.”
• you felt him pull away from you, his hand wiping your tears away
• ”how about we go for a walk outside? some fresh air would help, i think.”
• you thought for a bit before nodding. you definitely wouldn't be able to get anything done while you were in this state.
• he finally let a small smile break free, standing up, moving to get your shoes for you
“An ice cream could help too, i've heard. and there's a parlour that just opened up, down the street. i think it's fate.”
⋆˚࿔ Seonghwa
• "are you okay?"
• he asked softly, worry lacing his tone as he watched your sullen figure drop down onto the couch.
• "I'm okay."
• your curt response came out as if it was clockwork, removing your bag before burying your face into the comforter
• you obviously weren't. Well, it'd been like that for a while now
• he sighed before coming over to you on the couch. He knelt down and reached out to take off your shoes which you forgot to
• you tried to sit up, suddenly feeling guilty
• "i got it...-" "Let me."
• you paused before laying back down, feeling a bit nervous at his tone of voice. Was he mad?
• "I'm sorry... it's just lately everything's been going downhill..."
• you mumbled, tears pricking your eyes as you let your emotions of the past week finally weigh you down
• "i c-can't seem to do anything right and...i can't muster up energy for anything...i.."
• you sniffled, waiting for a response. He didn’t reply, instead placing your shoes neatly to the side before standing up and sitting down next to you on the couch.
• "Hwa..."
• a tear rolled down your face as he wrapped his arms around you, resting your head beneath his chin.
• it was incredible how the warmth of his embrace contrasted the gloominess you've been feeling all week.
• "I'm not mad. Why would I be?"
• he spoke quietly, his eyes shutting for a moment, his hand tracing patterns on your back
• "and you know... people don't always have to be okay..."
• "if that were the case then, i think we'd be superhumans..."
• you let out a laugh at his words, feeling your heart lighten slightly
• "i guess..."
• he smiled at the pleasant sound, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand moving to wipe your tears away.
• "so don't put yourself down, i won't let you."
• he whispered, his expression gentle yet firm before pulling you close again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
• "I'm still gonna worry though. Because I'm a human, a human who happened to be really really really in love with you."
• you chuckled, feeling exasperated yet so so light hearted
"Well, then...this human loves you too, a lot."
⋆˚࿔ Yunho.
• exams were coming up.
• and with exams came all nighters.
• you knew it wasn't healthy at all but your brain refused to listen to you, conjuring up various 'what ifs' each one, bleak.
• yes, exam seasons usually had you stressed.
• he knew it too.
• don't get him wrong, he knew you'd do well (with you being one of the most hardworking people he knows, there was no doubt about that)
• but he knew you couldn't help it. Despite all the assurances, a small part of you always doubted if your efforts were enough
• and he was worried. Of course, he was but he couldn't push you to take breaks even when he knew you needed it
• because he thought it'd be better to be distant than to have you completely shut him out
• but he wasn't sure anymore.
• even more so when he came upon you staring down at your books with teary eyes. You couldn't take it anymore.
• "I'm just so tired"
• you sobbed, burying your face into his chest. He had carried you to the bed from your desk, despite your protests but now you were glad that he did.
• "i know, love."
• he whispered, his hand rubbing your back soothingly, his heart clenching at the sound of your sobs. How could he have let it get this bad?
• but one thing was sure, he wasn't about to let you go through this alone.
• "Take a break, hm?" "But i...-"
• "No buts."
• he replied firmly, his expression showing his worry
• "Baby, it's admirable, it really is...you work so hard and I'm so proud of you..."
• "but I'm worried."
• he mumbled, his voice soft and low, tightening his hold on you
• your words faltered as you sensed the genuine concern in his voice, a twinge of guilt washing over you.
• "You always seem so tired and i...i can't help but feel frustrated for not being able to do anything..."
• his tone was soft, holding you close as if he feared losing you.
• "i don't want anything to happen to you..."
• you heart clenched at the tone of fear in his voice. you felt him lean back, taking your face into his hands carefully
• ”no matter how important it is, pushing yourself beyond the point of breaking will never do you any good.”
•he whispered, his voice quiet as he stroked your face gently
•you stayed silent for a moment, his words going through your mind. you could feel the toll these last few days had on your body. crashing out wouldn't be far at this point.
•so you nodded, reluctantly agreeing, not wanting to worry him any longer and also because you knew you needed this.
•he smiled, seeing you agree (although reluctant) relief coursing through him finally.
“Good. Now, how about some tea? I'll…let you get back to it after a break and this time, I'll help you.”
⋆˚࿔ Yeosang.
• something was wrong.
• he wasn't used to seeing you so...pensive.
• that slight slumping of your shoulders, the way you zone out mid-convos and the quiet sighs that escapes you whenever you think no one's looking
• no, he definitely noticed. It was so unlike you and...he wasn't sure how to react.
• would you be mad if he were to bring this up?
• or would you pretend like there was
nothing wrong?
• he knows that you value your independence very much, often preferring to deal with things on your own
• he respects that and doesn't push in anyway, not wanting to make you uncomfortable
• but he'd also feel a bit guilty (thought it was never his fault) feeling like he was failing as a boyfriend for just watching from the sidelines while you struggled
• though initially, he'd be a bit hesitant and cautious when approaching the matter
• he wouldn't directly confront you but lets you know that he's there for you
• "I'm here, if you want to talk."
• he'll also try to distract you with other activities, whether if it's like a walk in the park or a simply game
• he'll try his best to keep the atmosphere quiet and positive so you'll be able to relax your mind even if it's just a little
• and when you finally open up to him, he listens.
• he doesn't really respond in between and just lets you rant while listening intently
• and you know he is from the way his hand gently squeezes yours in assurance whenever you come to a pause, letting you know that whatever you were feeling was valid
• he isn't that big on physical affection but won't hesitate to shower you in it if you were to ask
• he's just a green flag over all
"I'll be here if you need me. I'll always be here."
⋆˚࿔ San.
• "come here."
• you hesitantly glanced at him before immediately looking away once you met his eyes. How does he know you so well?
• "choi y/n, come. here."
• he repeated, his tone a bit more firm now, spreading his arms wide and looking at you expectantly
• "what's with the choi?"
• you sighed, half-laughing, but you walked towards him, your emotions bubbling up again.
• "you own my heart, so you might as well take my last name too."
• he said softly with a small smile as you finally stepped into his arms.
• "seriously..."
• you mumbled, your voice breaking towards the end as you pressed your face into his chest, tears starting to flow again
• "there we go..."
• he guided you to the couch before sitting beside you. He wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you into him and gently ran his fingers through your hair, whispering.
• "you did a good job, hm? I'm so proud of you."
• "it doesn't feel like that though..."
• you laughed. his words, though comforting, stung a bit, reminding you of your failures yet again
• he frowned, picking upon on the hint of self depreciation in your tone
• "how dare you say that about the love of my life? Do you have any idea how much they mean to me?"
• he spoke, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand reaching up to pinch your cheeks
• "what're you on about?"
• you chuckled, avoiding his hand, not knowing whether to be amused or exasperated at his sudden burst out
• "I'm serious, my love's the best, the smartest, the kindest, the most hardworking, the prettiest...the list goes on..."
• he continued, his voice firm as he made you face him, wiping your tears away
• "but you know what i like the most about them?"
• he asked, his expression softening considerably
• "they never give up. no matter how hard it gets, no matter what anyone else says, they never give up, because they know that they can get through it..."
• he stroked your face, his eyes never leaving yours, the genuineness in them halting your breath for a moment
• "I know you can..."
• you felt your heart tighten at his words, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. You hugged him again, tears forming again.
• "why do you always have to be so nice? I hate you..."
• you sobbed, though there was no real heat behind your words
• he chuckled, rubbing your back soothingly
"It's okay, in return, I have lots of love to give you..."
⋆˚࿔ Mingi.
• he knew that things have been rough for you lately
• while he was worried, he wasn't sure to how to bring it up without making you feel even worse
• so he had hoped you'd come to him first
• though nothing prepared him for the sight of you sobbing into your hands infront of him, when you did
• initially he was at a loss as to what to do (it's that T in him)
• but he could feel his heart breaking as he watched you desperately trying to wipe your tears away which seemed to be flowing endlessly at that moment
• instantly he pulled you into his embrace, his arms wrapping around you so tightly like he wanted to shield you from whatever that was hurting you
• "I'm sorry..."
• you weren't sure what he was apologising for and neither was he
• though he wasn't good with words in this situation, he was there for you
• and he hoped you'd know it too
"don't hold back your tears, just let it all out. I'm here."
⋆˚࿔ Wooyoung
• he’s been walking on eggshells the entire week and he wasn't sure how long he could he take it
• your obvious avoidance of him, the curt texts, (hell, he'd prefer it more if you argued with him than this) it was all getting ridiculous
• so, what was the next step? obviously, confronting you.
• though it wasn't going like how he expected it to go.
• ”I'm sorry, i thought it'd be better to avoid you than to let you get affected too”
• you mumbled, your voice a bit hoarse as you brought your blanket covering you, closer
• your face was red, a sheen of sweat covering your forehead as you supported yourself on the wall.
• these past few weeks had taken a toll on you, worse than you thought and before you knew it, you had a fever.
• ”Affect me-...are you serious?”
• he spoke before he could stop himself. really? that's what you've been worried about?
• “I've been worried sick! you think I'd care about some damn germs?”
• you fell silent, feeling a bit guilty now.
• he huffed as if he was in disbelief. he wanted to say more but paused, his eyes falling on your pale face
• he sighed before stepping in, his hands reaching for your face.
• “you're burning up…”
• he muttered, worry lacing his tone as he supported you, making sure to close the door before leading you to your living room, sitting you down on the couch
• you sniffled, rubbing your nose as you watched him bustle around your apartment
• it was weird, seeing him so serious like this, different from his usual playful self
• and it only made you more guilty for worrying him
• ”I'm sorry…”
• he paused, hearing your words, his movements slowing down as he closed the door to your shelf after retrieving the medicine
• “you know? these past few days, I was wondering whether I did something. I couldn't figure it out.”
• he spoke up, returning to the couch, kneeling infront of you, placing a hand on your lap
• “besides, what if you were in your death bed? of course i need to be here.”
• he added, a small smirk forming on his face
• “Hey!”
• you countered, your eyes wide, hitting his shoulder making him laugh out a small ‘sorry!’, lightening the mood slightly
• “no but seriously, you should've told me you were sick. i would've came running.”
• “you always take care of me when I'm sick. I want to do the same…”
• he muttered, his playfulness dissolving into softness, his hand squeezing yours gently
• you felt your heart melt at his words, warmth coursing through you, the pleasant kind this time.
• “Alright then, can you…make me your special chicken soup?”
• you asked, a hopeful glint in your eyes. you’ve been craving it actually.
• his smile returned even more brightly as he stood up, turning to make his way to your kitchen
“I'll make you the damn best chicken soup you're gonna ever have! You won't even need medicine cause it's gonna heal you up right away.”
⋆˚࿔ Jongho
• he knew you were having a rough week
• considering how moody you've seemed lately and you also didn't talk much
• and you were usually the 'affectionate' one in your relationship so the lack of it made him pause
• he was concerned, obviously, but didn't voice it directly or push you to open up
• he trusted that you'd come to him if there was something
• however, it seems like you finally reached your breaking point
• he regretted not talking to you sooner when he came home to you crying one day
• he immediately engulfs you into his embrace.
• you seemed a bit surprised to see him, not expecting him to come back so early
• and you felt bad to burden him with your emotions, surely he had a lot on his plate as well-
• "stupid, you should be worrying about yourself."
• he mumbled, his voice annoyed yet... concerned, pulling you closer when you tried to move away.
• he won't respond with words when you start to pour your worries out
• but you know he's listening with the gentle but assuring squeezes he gave your hand whenever you come to a pause
• well, it wasn't like he really had to talk when his embrace spoke volumes more than any words ever could.
“Don't feel bad for feeling bad, you don't always have to be okay, it's completely normal.”
#ateez x reader#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez fluff#ateez imagines#ateez drabbles#ateez oneshot#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#kang yeosang x reader#choi san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez angst#ateez hurt/comfort#ateez headcanons#kpop#ateez scenarios#hongjoong fluff#seonghwa fluff#yunho angst#yeosang fluff#choi san imagines#mingi fluff#wooyoung angst#jongho fluff#mingoooossii“”“”#Spotify
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Here's a Destiel prompt based on a doodle I did but also Chappell Roan:
Dean Winchester is your average picture perfect American boy. Tall, blonde, football team quarterback, Kansas sweetheart with a little brother he's way too over protective of, and a southern drawl he swears he doesn't exaggerate. He's brash and rude, his confidence making him an easy target for over excited crowds and the occasion fights. The girls at school want him when he gives them a wink and a smile, and most guys envy him. Wish they were him.
But Dean had his eyes set on the unattainable
Castiel Novak. the Student body vice president who seems to fly through school like he was above it all. But not in the obnoxious 'I'm better than you' way in most teen movies. No, Castiel radiates an energy. One of pure intent, kindness, and joy that makes people fall for his hypnotic blue eyes
People like Dean, Castiel's best friend, and the guy he confides in more often than not
And Dean hates that he does. Because Castiel,for all his intelligence, was as clueless as they come
So whenever Castiel asks him to wingman for him
It's months worth of heartache and fake smiles as he watches Castiel pull every trick Dean taught him
Because Dean Winchester? He's the practice boy
-----
Castiel, wanting to the full college experience, asks his best friend Dean to help on how to date/seduce girls (Since Dean is really good at it and has been in relationships before. But only to distract from his massive crush on Cas)
And Dean, being a good friend, walks Cas through every step regardless of how much it hurts to flirt with Cas, only for Cas to use those same words and actions on girls
And one day, Cas asks Dean how to kiss. If he'll be a good kisser. Castiel's self conscious about it. Self deprecating and confused cause his lips are always chapped and his hair always a mess. And he's scared he won't close his eyes
And Dean just goes on about how those can be good things. How they're attractive. Blurting out stuff he personally feels about kissing Cas
"Your hair's perfect for kissing, short and soft and perfect to hold"
"If she doesn't like your eyes when you kiss, then she's blind as a bat!"
"Your lips look chapped but I'll bet my Baby they're as soft as the look you get when you see a bee"
"hell! Given the chance, I'd kiss you and I'd be the one left breathless"
And of course, they practice kissing
And Dean was right. It leaves him breathless
Leaves him heartbroken too when he finds Cas kissing Meg the same way a week later
-------
"I can't take it anymore, Cas! I'm so fucking tired of being your goddamn practice dummy!" Dean turns around, finally facing Castiel after he storming off "Yeah, I asked for it. It was fucking stupid to even suggest it, but you can't be so goddamn blind to not see that everything I've said, everything I've taught you, was more then just a shitty flirting lesson to me!"
Castiel stops in his chase, staring at Dean wide eyed as the rain picks up
Dean powers on, pacing and flailing "Fuck me for thinking the way you kissed me meant something then just practice" he laughs humorlessly then lets out a sob
"Fuck, Cas…" Dean looks up. his hand coming down to clutch at his wet shirt. Tears and rain running down his face "It meant something to me… you saying it otherwise doesn't change that… it just makes it hurt"
Castiel stared wide eyed and frozen. His mind flashes back to every interaction, every little touch, every word said between them
And all he could muster up was
"Dean…"
#destiel#supernatural#castiel#dean winchester#deancas#spn fanart#castiel fanart#writing prompt#fic prompt
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oh! Since you also do requests with hybrids, could I ask for wolfhybrids (or fox) hashiras x reader? Like hashiras see the reader as the perfect mate material, so they try to get closer to them by courting them in their own ways
Male Hashira x Reader - Prey tell?
author's note: the title is a pun, my humor is dry. i fell down the stairs and sit in a hospital since yesterday.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: wolf!hybrids, a/b/o, kny!au
i've been thinking a lot about this idea now, especially which rank each hashira would have. alpha? beta? omega? it was quite hard, but i allowed myself to create a little au for better understanding.
to not mess things up, i decided that the reader will be an omega in this au. all the hashira are considered alphas, which of course has a reason too.
i've went through the a/b/o thing over the past two or three days and to put it simply: alpha is the equivalent to strong, omegas are weak in comparison.
the hashira are the strongest swordsmen in the corp, it would only be right to rank them as an alpha (or a beta).
you, on the other hand, have been fighting your way to the top. omegas are weaker than most, but you possess a strong mind, which helped you work your way up.
naturally, the day will come that you catch their attention, if only for the fact that you're an omega. i also imagine omegas to be more rare than alphas and betas, since they take on a weaker role in this au.
Tengen:
• he's smitten since day one - an alpha different from any you've met yet. smug smirk and tall body towering over you the minute your scent hits his nose.
• your scent gives him the same feeling the scents of his three wives do. you're so small, perhaps not physically, but your weak omega presence makes his protective instincts flare up.
• just another day or two and three women are by your side, two betas and another omega looking at you with happiness and a feeling of finally coming home.
• you'll learn to love all of them - courting one is courting all. Tengen's not surprised to come home and find all of you nuzzled together in a cuddle pile.
• and if that isn't enough to turn you into a proper mate of his, shiny presents and lots of time squished between four other people will surely do it.
Obanai:
• small and weak. how did you end up near the alphas? he's suspicious when he heard of you, no omega would be able to turn into a hashira. he needed to see that for himself.
• nearly falls off his spot in the tree when he sees you and a comforting scent hits his nose. he's almost embarrassed by the way his fluffy ears are twitching, trying to listen to your conversation with Rengoku.
• he follows you around for a few days, mustering up the courage to talk to you after nearly a week. you looked up when the man sat in front of you, another bowl of food in hand.
• he doesn't talk much, only telling you that omegas should eat more than you do. you awkwardly look at him for a while, taking the bowl after another minute and thanking him.
• the action alone got him blushing under his mask, bringing you food for the next month when he finds you eating somewhere around the training grounds.
Rengoku:
• he's one of the calmer ones when he hears about your rank as a hashira. an omega got ranked this high? what incredible talent you must possess!
• he's by no means against your way of living, but he can't keep his mouth shut about how "you should stay home and get protected by a proper alpha!" it's no insult and you can sense that much, but you find yourself disagreeing.
• once he's sure that you're the perfect material for a mate, he'll court you the proper way, just like his mother once told him.
• it's just that his "proper courting" nearly has you running away in embarrassment.
• "dear [name], allow me to show you my interest through the traditional ways of courting one's future mate!"
• your agreement only came a day later, after you survived his booming voice right behind you in the midst of a forest's silence. next time he shouldn't sneak up on you like that.
Sanemi:
• hah? ridiculous. a small thing like you is supposed to work midst the likes of him? don't make him laugh, he could eat you up for breakfast.
• with that attractive smell reeking from your body, you wouldn't survive a day. he would see you become a demon's snack sooner than later.
• his jaw nearly hits the ground when he sees you outsmart the lower rank demon in front of you with speed and flexibility instead of strength.
• he grumbles about your stupid cute presence, sweetly roaming around him. you're truthfully just going on about your day, but it's enough to make his mind go blank.
• you're the perfect mix of strong and obedient for him, listening so well to him, because "he's done this job longer than you and you were happy to learn."
• internally smacks himself when he tries signalling his courting intentions by gifting you clothes heavily drenched in his scent.
Giyuu:
• he didn't voice his worries, but an omega living this kind of life? any alpha would be worried, right? especially since omegas have gotten so rare these days!
• but, oh, you're so sweet and nice. you once cooked him some soup and he swore you needed an alpha's protection - his protection.
• if he could just steal you away and ensure your safety, but he knew that would make you unhappy. so he makes sure to keep you safe by following you like a lap dog.
• it's not uncommon to see the new omega and the gloomy hashira take a walk together. people tend to avoid you, feeling unwell because of the intense stare the alpha behind you gives them.
• some of them swore they have seen the two of you nuzzle against each other. a hint of his scent had previously started lingering on your uniform too.
Gyomei:
• is it just your imagination or have you been joining missions with the stone hashira more often? no, it's definitely true.
• ever since he has taken a liking to you, he had started courting you by ensuring your safety and happiness.
• he doesn't know a lot about proper courting, mostly because it didn't interest him for most of his life. his courting is really special, but you don't mind.
• instead of bestowing gifts upon you, he takes you to special places he has found, most of them with a unique smell - a waterfall or a meadow full of flowers.
• he tries to gouge your reactions, mostly trusting his ears and tail, because he sadly can't see your beautiful face.
• you find yourself blushing with the way his ears often twitch around you, trying to listen to your every breath and laugh.
• your favourite times are when a protective tail brushes against your back, inviting you into a long session of cuddling.
#kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba fluff#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer fluff#kny#kny x reader#kny fluff#kny tengen#tengen uzui#tengen x reader#kny obanai#obanai iguro#obanai x reader#kny rengoku#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku x reader#kny sanemi#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x reader#kny giyuu#giyuu tomioka#giyuu x reader#kny gyomei#gyomei himejima#gyomei x reader#kny hashira#hashira x reader#a/b/o
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Silco x Reader
i have nothing coherent to say but i've been rotating this man inside my mind like a microwave dish for a week straight and need it out of my system, so here is huh, sucking silco off while he smokes
Pairing: Silco x Reader
Warnings: 18+, blowjobs (turns into face fucking??), pet names (pet, love, dear), hinted dacryphilia, dirty talking (mix of praise and degradation), boot humping (huh ?? what ? who said that, guys i think there's a ghost here), no use of pronouns but female parts mentioned
Words: 1.5k
Can also be read on AO3!
Back to masterlist.
silco coming back to the last drop after a meeting with the other chem-barons notably frustrated, huffing and muttering under his breath about "imbeciles and morons"
as he sits himself down in the big leather chair behind the desk trying to light a cigar but the lighter won't work in his angry grasp, getting him on edge even more until he throws it across the room in a fit of rage
you sigh as you get up from your position on the couch, so far seemingly unnoticed by the man, and pick up the lighter
making your way over to the desk silco finally looks up at you, his eyes softening a little when they land on you, you perch at the edge of it and hold the lighter up to him
he puts the cigar up to the flickering light and takes a long drag before exhaling, already feeling more relaxed as he inhales the tobacco. silco leans back into his chair and takes another slow drag while looking you up and down closely
"bad meeting?" your foot coming up to rest in between his spread thighs on the chair, the question of what he needed from you unspoken but understood
he grunts in response, "bad week overall.." the hand not occupied with holding the cigar lands on your foot, stroking up and down the expanse of your calf giving you your answer
almost like it was instinct you slide down from the desk and down on your knees in front of him, now trapped between him and the desk
his hand comes down to stroke a stray strand of hair back behind your ear and you nuzzle your cheek into his warm palm
silco leans down in the chair to your level, nose almost touching yours, "how about you make me forget what a bad week it was, pet?" the heavy smoke envelopes your senses for a second before you jump into action
you start by slowly dragging your hands up his thighs, letting one hand graze over the bulge in his tight pants while the other comes up to unbutton them
silco raises his hips slightly off the chair to help you lower his pants and underpants for easier access while you grab his cock out of its confinement, giving it an experimental stroke you hear silco gasp above you
the hand left on your cheek moves around your head and tangles in your hair, his eyes never leaving yours as you finally lean forward and lick his entire length
when you reach his tip you stay there giving soft kitten licks, you make sure to keep eye contact with silco while doing it, you loved seeing his reaction while you pleased him
his grasp on your hair tightens a bit and he sucks in a sharp breath as your tongue flicks at his tip, you can tell he's about to chastise you for teasing him so before he can get a word out you take his full length into your mouth, well as much as you can at least
silco finally breaks the eye contact, throwing his head back with a grunt as you take him down your tight throat, "fuck, good pet"
the pet name makes your pussy throb and you can't help but to clench your thighs to try and create some friction
he lets you set the pace at first, bobbing your head at a comfortable pace while letting one hand stroke what doesn't fit in your mouth, you trace your tongue along the veins decorating his dick and give his tip a couple of flicks whenever you come up for air
the hand not occupied with helping your efforts travel up his shirt, letting it rest against his stomach, using your nails to scratch at him from time to time to aid the sensations and you can feel him shiver under your touch
silco is now completely relaxed in the chair, head leaned back and cigar in his unoccupied hand, inhaling and exhaling thick smoke, the almost indifference he shows you makes you even more turned on somehow
to anyone else, it would look like he's ignoring your efforts but you know him better, the hand clenched in your hair, the heavy breathing, and the few noises that escape him give away how this is really affecting him
you decide to tease him more, not going down fully this time, just keeping the tip in your mouth to suck on while your hand jerks him off lazily while looking up at him
silcos head snaps down to look at you, his eyes burning with desire and frustration, "now, now, pet.." he growls out at you, "let us not get lazy when you were doing such a good job before" he adjusts the grip on your hair to a makeshift ponytail before searching your eyes for consent
you give him a small nod and try to smile up at him but he presses your head down on him fully now, nose pressed into his pubes, and holds you there
he leans his head back again and lets out a low moan at the feeling of your throat constricting around him, he revels a bit in your small struggle, the feeling of one hand scratching his stomach and the other desperately clinging to his thigh before letting you up for air
when he finally pulls your head up you take a deep breath and cough, you try to blink the tears clouding your eyes away so you can meet his gaze
silco groans at the way you look up at him, lips red and swollen, tears running down your cheeks, but it's the way you smile up at him that has him throbbing for you
he pulls your head down again, this time setting a brutal pace that has you barely catching your breath and you can't stand it anymore, the ache between your thighs is getting too much and you need something, anything
you whimper around his cock, the vibrations send a jolt of electricity up his spine, you look up at him and try to make a pouty face, which considering your mouth is stuffed full of his cock is pretty hard
silco knows your every expression however and you get your point across either way, he chuckles at the desperation in your eyes, "hm, poor you, need something to soothe you? is my cock in your mouth not enough for you?" he mocks you
but he moves one of his legs between your legs and you feel yourself get wetter at the display, "there, there, pet, make yourself feel good while i use your throat as i please"
you can feel your cheeks heat up at his words, you can't believe this is happening but you're honestly too turned on to think about it for too long before you roll your hips against his boot
the feeling of finally getting some friction against your clit makes you moan around his cock and you roll your hips again and again and again before you've set a pace likewise to the one silco is guiding your head at
silco was already close but the vision of you brings him to the edge, eyes closed and tear-stained cheeks while you were humping his boot, your noises muffled around his dick but the vibrations are making him go crazy
you feel yourself getting closer to ecstasy with every roll of your hips, you're sure you've made a mess on his boot by now but you couldn't care less, all you could think about was dragging your tongue around silcos cock while his hips meet your face and humping his leg like an animal in heat
both of you could tell the other is close now, you hollow your cheeks around him and that's enough to bring him over the edge with a shout, emptying himself into your mouth and you try to swallow every drop of him but there's too much and it spills out and around his cock
the feeling of your mouth tightening even more as if that was possible makes silco tense and he pushes his leg into you more, putting unexpected pressure on your clit just as you made contact with him again and you feel yourself being pushed over the same edge, warmth spreading through your whole body as you ride out your orgasm
silco carefully lifts your head off of him after a little while and you take a deep breath again, you start coughing as some of his cum slides down to wrong pipe
he rubs and pats your back until you've calmed down and brings you up into his lap, letting you curl up against him as you both catch your breaths, "thank you dear, are you alright?"
you snuggle into him more as he brings his jacket over you as a makeshift blanket, you can feel soreness in your jaw and thighs creeping in but you were too tired to care right now, "hmm, sore, tired"
silco smile agaisnt your head before giving it a quick peck, "rest my love, i'll be here when you wake up to take care of you" and with the sound of his smooth voice whispering in your ear you finally fell asleep
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{overview} Johnny and Kyle take care of you…..you make a new friend
{warnings} fem reader, cursing, a/b/o dynamics, PRICEGHOST, SOAPGAZ, poly141, MDNI, oral- female receiving
Chapter 19 <- Chapter 20 -> Chapter 21
None of you wanted to spend hours in a car, especially with the boys and their long legs. They opted for a plane, causing you more nerves than you knew what to do with.
“Get over here,” Simon commanded, all of you spread out at the airport. Your eyes widened and you trotted over to him, breathing a sigh of relief when he sprayed you down with scent blockers. “I'm not sitting next to lemonhead the whole flight,” he tsked. You rolled your eyes, but relieved you wouldn't be stinking up the plane.
“Bon-Bon, I've got something for you,” Johnny smiled, patting the seat next to him. “You don't have to take one, but I think it'll help,” he explained. He pulled an off-brand over-the-counter stress reliever pack.
“Did you take one?” you questioned softly. You've always been wary of drugs, even when you’re hurt you hold off taking aspirin as long as possible.
“Not today, flying doesn't bother me too much. I take them to help me sleep sometimes, or calm down when I get in my head a little too much,” he continued, causing you to frown.
“Does that happen a lot?” You questioned, the pounding in your heart giving you enough courage to hold your hand out. He popped a pill out placing it in your palm.
“It's meltaway,” he explained quickly. You popped it on your tongue and it melted instantly, even though your mouth was dry. “Happens here and there. Happens to all of us, yeah?” He smiled reassuringly.
“Guess that's true,” you sighed. “If you ever need to get your mind off of something, I can always help,” you whispered the last part in his ear and you giggled when you felt him smile against your cheek.
“I'll have to take you up on that,” he whispered back. You jumped when you felt his teeth graze your earlobe.
“Johnny,” you swatted.
“Alright, lovebirds. Not that you heard but it's time for us to board,” John chuckled, eyeing the both of you.
You were content in your middle seat. Johnny urged you to sit in the window seat, but you didn't want to be reminded you were soaring through the sky in a tube. Johnny sat in the window seat, you in the middle and Simon on the end seat so he could stretch his legs. John and Kyle were a few rows behind you, and you would periodically sit up in your seat to look back at them. The medicine seemed to help, although it could just be a placebo. Regardless, you felt safe between Johnny and Simon. You rested your head against Johnny’s shoulder, his hand finding it home on your knee, fiddling with the fabric of your tights. Simon had his arms crossed over his chest, looking imposing as always. He needed a chill pill.
You had been thinking a lot about what John had said to you last night.
“Your heats comin’ up in a few weeks.”
You couldn't deny that it had been looming over your head, especially with how excitable you had been lately. Your heats have always been irregular. They followed the basic timeline of every eight weeks, but sometimes they would skip over, or be a week late or early. You had multiple tests done and doctors concluded that it was just because your hormones were out of whack from not being in a pack for so long. You wondered if that was true. If it was, how long would it take for you to even out? Did you need to be marked? Or just bonded? You had definitely bonded with them. If the timeline was correct then you would have about one week left from your last heat.
That timeline was for more than just your heats, though. It also was a timeline for your relationships. You wanted John to help you with your heats, you felt more than comfortable enough with him and you were overwhelmingly attracted to him. You also wouldn't mind if Kyle or Johnny decided to step in either.
There was one person you weren't entirely sure about yet.
Simon.
It wasn't that you weren’t attracted to him. You just didn't feel entirely comfortable with him in that way yet. While you two had your own interactions and bonding times, there was just something missing. He treated you like a friend more than an omega. Actually, he treated you like you were an annoying child who he was stuck babysitting. The rest of them had courted you, complimented you, and made you feel like you were the most important thing in the world to them. Simon had hardly done any of that.
There was also all the fighting that had gone on between the two of you. And all those things he said about you that night when you overheard him talking to Johnny. You know you should get over it, you thought you had, but sometimes when your room was too quiet you could hear those words echo throughout it.
You could only imagine how upset he would be if you admitted any of that. How hurt he would be if you said you weren't comfortable enough with him yet. Maybe you should just wait till you feel comfortable enough with him before having any of them help with your heats.
Yet the thought of waiting any longer to be with them, especially John, felt nearly tortuous.
You didn't want to hurt Simon though.
Seems like the best choice was just to wait.
Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky eough to have your heat skip again.
Kyle was able to talk Johnny into booking an Airbnb in Inverness. If it was up to the Scot you five would be fighting for your lives in the most rural area he could find. As long as it was in the Highlands, Johnny could be talked into it.
“I don't want to leave,” you sighed, already getting a sore neck with how often you were turning your head to look around.
“Good thing we just got here,” Kyle chuckled.
“Come on. Let's get settled inside then we could do some exploring,” John ushered you inside a beautiful stone house. Your stomach rumbled at the sound of exploring. “We’ll take care of that too,” he chuckled, your bag slung over his shoulder.
It had two bedrooms, both with a large bed and a bathroom. Simon and John took the bigger bedroom, with Kyle and Johnny taking the other one. You put all of your stuff with the alphas because it had the most room. Everyone knew you would be bouncing around, though.
It was already almost dinner time and you were starving, the only thing in your stomach was a blueberry muffin from the cafeteria before you had left. Simon pulled out a box of your favorite crackers from his duffle, tossing them to you. He must have swiped them from the kitchen before you left. You thanked him heavily, already digging in. It was just another example of how Simon worked.
He could be incredibly thoughtful when he wasn't frustrated with you.
At least that's how you saw it.
The truth was more complex than you knew.
It was one of those nights he couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard he tried. His legs are restless and his heart beats a little too fast for a trained soldier like him. He pulled himself out of bed, heading through the bathroom, and slowly pushing John’s bedroom door open. He hoped you weren't in there tonight. The alpha grunted, the slightest creak in the door waking him up.
“You alright?” John croaked, his voice sending a shiver down Simon’s spine. He didn't say a word, pushing the alpha out from the middle of his own bed crawling under the sheets himself, groaning as the smell of you drifted off of them. “Somethin’ eatin’ you?” John yawned, rolling onto his stomach so he was draped over Simon’s back. It's what Simon needed. Grounding.
“It’s shite,” Simon brushed off.
“Course it is, it’s comin’ from you,” John chuckled. Simon grunted, bringing his elbow back to knock against the alpha. “Spit it out.”
“She”- he cut himself off with a sigh.
“It's me, Simon,” John reminded, his lips holding still against a scar on the other alpha's shoulder.
“She doesn't like me as much as she used to,” Simon grunted.
“She didn't know you then.”
“Thanks, John,” Simon huffed, making the captain chuckle.
“I didn't mean it like that,” John sighed. “I mean to say, she's getting to know you now. You two are navigating a whole new relationship, and to be fair it has had its turbulence. In the beginning, she was just trying to not step on any toes or cross any boundaries. Now she's trying to work her way into the pack. Growin’ pains, Simon,” John explained. “You are both doing fine considering you've never been around an omega and she’s never had an alpha-let alone two.”
“You’ve hardly ever had an omega. Other than ones to help you through a rut,” Simon added. “You know what to do.”
“I was worried about it before she came. Wonderin’ if I could be a good alpha to her like she deserves. Then once she got here it just felt natural. You have instincts too, just allow them,” John spoke.
“Not like there's any room too,” Simon huffed.
“What's that supposed to mean?” John hummed, leaning on his elbow.
“You dogs are all over her all the time. Not like I could get a moment with her if I wanted to. Every time I think about doing something- one of you has already done it,” Simon explained. John supposes he has a point. You weren't high-maintenance and you were almost always smothered with attention.
“So do it anyway. No such thing as a too-spoiled omega.”
All of you went to a pub down the street for dinner. It felt so free being away from the base. Your pack was all yours without worry of being ushered to the ends of the earth.
You were situated between Kyle and John, just like back home. You trusted Johnny to pick you out something from the menu, as long as it didn't have eyeballs still on it when it came out of the kitchen.
“Steak for me and cullen skink for the girl,” Johnny winked over at you. You were half tempted to google it before the waitress left just in case.
“And what can I get you?” A waitress hummed to Simon. You didn't like the way she eyed him.
“Scotch pie,” he answered, eyeing her back. Not in the same way, this was to deter her.
“Mmmh, that's my favorite,” She smiled, turning to the rest of the table. “And for you?”
“Fix your face, lovie,” Kyle teased after she left. It was then you realized you were scowling at Simon. Well not at him, but at what just occurred. You could tell Simon was trying to bite back a smirk.
The waitress came back numerous times before the food was ready just to ‘check in.’ You could tell it was starting to bother Johnny too. It wasn't that Simon was just letting it happen, he was ignoring her, his eyes bouncing between you and Johnny. Regardless, he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it in the slightest. The final straw was her hand resting on his shoulder, causing everyone's chest to rumble with a warning. She quickly retracted it with a stuttered apology. You had a different waitress for the rest of the night.
It started off teasing and gentle. His lips ghosting over yours until you made a move to connect the space, only for him to pull back.
It's his fault really. Teasing you like that and then expecting you to just let him go after.
You pulled away, trying to get as much air in your lungs as possible. Kyle was relentless, his lips still attached to the corner of your mouth, making a path all the way down to your collarbone. Making out and breathing at the same time was still a skill you hadn't learned yet.
“Ky,” you breathed. He quickly reattached your lips with his, your body sinking further into the mattress from the force of it.
“Steamin’ Jesus,” Johnny grunted, coming out of the bathroom. Kyle pulled away, looking over his shoulder at the Scot, who had nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. You were still panting under him, your lips red, eyes foggy. Kyle was in no better condition. Kyle winked at Johnny before turning his attention back to you. Your hands wrapping around the back of his neck, your heels digging into his lower back, desperate for him to be as close as possible.
You heard shuffling in the corner but your mind flew out the window when Kyle gently rolled his hips against yours. You gasped, your half-lidded eyes gazing up at Kyle. You bucked your hips, hoping to get an ounce of the friction.
“I got you, lovie,” Kyle whispered along with another roll of his hips. You heard Johnny curse again, the bed sinking under his weight.
“How mad do you think the alphas would be if we had a little taste?” Johnny murmured, his teeth grazing your shoulder. Kyle groaned, resulting in a whine escaping your throat.
“That's a good question,” Kyle hummed, mirroring Johnnys' actions on your other shoulder. You felt faint. “What do you think, love?” Kyle asked, making you shudder.
“Please,” you gasped. It was the only thing you could manage, still not entirely sure where this was going to lead. The tightness in your stomach was becoming painful. Kyle’s hands ran soothingly up and down your sides before dipping under your tank top.
“Tell us if you want us to stop any time,” Kyle assured. You could feel Johnny nod his head in agreement.
“Want you to feel comfortable, Bon,” he added. You agreed softly, your hands digging themselves into each of their shirts. Your tank top had been pulled above your chest, your hands leaving their shirts so Kyle could pull it off. You had no time to even think about being shy, your newly exposed skin being attacked by mouths and hands.
“So fucking soft,” Johnny growled. You were a lamb spread out for these hungry wolves. A tongue ran across your nipple making you jolt.
“So sensitive,” Kyle purred. “Anyone ever touched you like this?” he questioned, his hips twitching at the thought. You quickly shook your head, your eyes glossed over. They both growled, their teeth nipping at your skin to mark you as theirs. Their eyes met each other and a mutual understanding going straight over your head. The position suddenly changed, your back resting against Kyle’s chest, Johnny kissing between the valley of your breasts before stopping just above the waistband of your shorts. Kyle's hands rested on your inner thighs, keeping you spread so Johnny could fit his broad body between your legs. Johnny's dark eyes stared up at you for approval, his teeth pulling at your shorts. Your body was on fire, the scent in the room overwhelming. You nodded your head, your fingers running through his mohawk. He grinned his fingers curling in your shorts tugging them down quickly.
“Gentle,” Kyle growled, his hands maneuvering under the sides of your underwear. His thumb rubbing smooth circles on your hips to make up for Johnny’s actions.
“Says the one chewin’ a hole in her shoulder,” Johnny huffed back. Kyle smirked against your skin, placing a kiss against the red mark forming against you. You couldn't make eye contact with Johnny as he lowered himself between your thighs, pressing a kiss against your covered core. Your thighs twitched, and Kyle gripped them to keep them from slamming shut.
Not that Johnny would mind that. Johnny repeated his actions a few times before his tongue darted out. The fabric of your panties left you with little friction to ease the ache.
“Johnny, please,” you urged, rotating your hips slightly. Johnny groaned against you, the vibration going straight to your core.
“She asks so nicely,” Kyle complimented, beginning to pull down your underwear for you. Johnny agreed, tugging your underwear down the rest of the way.
“John’s going to love that,” Johnny smirked. You whined at the thought, your thighs starting to jerk shut again. You missed the way Johnny shoved your underwear in his pocket. “Fucking beautiful,” Johnny whispered to himself, his eyes falling over your body. “Missin’ out up there,” Johnny commented, his scruff rubbing against the inside of your thigh. His mouth was watering at this point and he made very little effort to hide it. The desire to please you is the only thing keeping his mind from shutting down.
Kyle grabbed behind your knees, pulling them up closer to your chest. The cold air chilling your core was quickly being replaced by Johnny’s desperate tongue. You squealed, your hands slapping over your mouth. They both chuckled, Johnny’s hands reaching up to tug at your wrists. He intertwined his fingers with yours.
“Easy, sweetheart,” Kyle lulled, his hands rubbing up and down the insides of your thighs. “Already shaking,” he chuckled.
“It's too much,” you whimpered, your hands trying to push away at his face. He tightened his grip. You were being devoured. The sensation was already new to you, not to mention the passion behind it.
“Just relax, pretty. Let him make you feel good,” Kyle talked you through it. “You really want it to stop, just say stop.”
You ignored the feeling of Johnny's smirk against you. You tried to relax your body, giving up the little control you had against the two betas. Johnny switched the pattern of his tongue, causing a breathy moan to escape you.
“Do that again,” Kyle urged. Johnny was already one step ahead, the sensation making your eyes roll to the back of your head. It wasn't as overwhelming as his previous actions. It was just enough pleasure to make your body feel like it was floating, but not enough to make you want to scream. Your soft moans were timed with his mouth, the sounds making it harder for them to have self-restraint.
“How she taste?” Kyle asked, his hand gripping onto Johnny’s mohawk. He knew the Scot wouldn't separate his tongue from you even if the world was ending. Johnny groaned at the hand yanking him away.
“Like peaches just out of the oven,” Johnny said quickly, his tongue already darting out to catch another taste of you. He nipped your thighs, waiting not so patiently for Kyle to release his hair. He pushed Johnny’s face back against you, Johnny’s eyes rolling into the back of his head. “See what you do to us, love?” Kyle hummed.
You were close. Your whole body beginning to twitch, your moans mixing with breathy pants.
“That's it, baby,” Kyle groaned, taking every ounce of you in. “Fuckin’ beautiful,” He snarled, the grip on your thighs tightening. Every second felt like it would be your last, the pressure in your stomach building and building until suddenly it burst. The warmth in your stomach exploded, causing bliss to spread over every inch of your body. You couldn't even moan, or move, instead, your body stilled, before melting against Kyles. All of you were limp, your euphoria spreading to them even though they had yet to find a release themselves. The stillness left your body, the shakiness returning.
Johnny pressed a kiss against you one last time, mumbling something about ‘seeing her again soon’ before crawling his way up the both of you. They moved your body around, so everyone was under the covers. Johnny pressed a kiss against your cheek making you swat him away, feeling slowly returning to your body.
“Your face is wet,” you whined, rolling over to bury your face in Kyle's chest. You felt movement above you, pulling your head away only to see the two betas locked together, their tongues intertwined. You were too tired to care. As long as you were being cuddled you didn't care what they did.
“Tastes as good as we imagined, yeah?” Johnny chuckled. You heard Kyle agree, before falling asleep.
You were woken up by Kyle. You groaned, stretching your limbs as much as you could. You were a bit sore from all the twitching you did last night and you could still feel some wetness between your thighs. Johnny was purring next to you, strong arms wrapped around your waist. Your sleepy eyes peered up, locking eyes with Kyle. His gaze was soft and they held nothing but adoration in them.
“Morning, princess,” he whispered, making a snicker. The two betas did treat you like a princess, so the nickname was fitting.
“Go back to sleep,” Johnny croaked his grip on you tightening.
“Wanna go on a walk?” Kyle whispered. “It rained all night.” A sleepy smile spread across your face and you quickly nodded your head. Kyle unraveled Johnny's arms from you.
“Wanna come, Mac?” you questioned, pressing a kiss against his temple. His lips quirked, but he buried himself deeper in the bed.
“I'll keep the bed warm,” he yawned, already falling back asleep. Kyle grabbed your tank top off the floor, putting it over your head for you.
“So beautiful,” he murmured again, making you flush. No one had ever spoken to you with such sincerity. You luckily had the instinct to put your toothbrush in their bathroom last night. You couldn't imagine creeping into the alpha room after all the ruckus you caused last night. You're actually not sure if you could ever look them in the eye again. Not that you had done anything wrong…it…just felt awkward. You grabbed your shorts off the floor tugging them on.
You couldn't find your panties.
When you came out of the bathroom Kyle was already dressed in joggers, a sweatshirt, and a vest.
All your clothes were in the alpha room. Fuck.
“What's with the face?” Kyle hummed, pulling you between his knees.
“I don't want to go in there,” you muttered. Kyle cinched his brows before the realization hit him.
“This have anything to do with the little show you put on last night?” he smirked, making you flush even brighter. “Relax, lovie. Nothin’ to be embarrassed about. I can go grab some clothes if you aren't ready, though.”
“Thanks, KyKy!” you cheered.
As soon as he opened the door pillows were thrown at him. He caught them with ease, tossing them back on the bed. He cleared his throat at the heavy scent of alpha musk. Your room wasn't the only one that was busy last night.
“She’s with the two of you for one bloody night,” John growled. Kyle chuckled, opening a window. It was a good thing you didn't come in. You probably would've passed out.
“Best night of our lives,” Kyle tsked, watching the way both the alphas' faces curled. They were jealous. Not because of what happened, but because they hadn't been able to watch. Instead, they were confined to their room, only being able to listen. Using their imagination to pretend the bulky body under them was smaller, softer and sweeter.
“Come here,” John commanded. Kyle plopped a pair of your leggings on the bed, only for John to grab his collar pressing his nose against his neck.
“Good right?” Kyle chuckled, squirming his way out of the alpha's grip.
“She taste that sweet?” John hummed, stretching out, his muscles cracking.
“Sweeter,” Kyle smirked, shutting the bedroom door behind him, getting too much enjoyment from the groans on the other side of it. “Here you are, lovie,” Kyle smiled, passing you your clothes. He was all too pleased with himself.
“There’s a farm that has a petting zoo,” Kyle hummed, swinging both your hands back and forth.
“Really?!”
“They sell baked goods too,” he winked.
“God, you know me so well,” you sighed, shuffling closer to him. The earth was wet and clean, the feeling sinking deep into your bones. The clear air made you think. Made you think about something you've wanted to say for a while, specifically to Kyle. “Kyle, there's something I have to tell you,” you said slowly. “You don't have to comment on it, but I need to get it off my chest.”
“Alright,” he agreed cautiously.
“I love you,” you said it all in one breath.
“Oh thank god,” he said, relieved. “Would be weird if it was just one-sided, yeah?” he smiled at you. “I love you too, sweetheart. Very much.” he whispered the last part, bringing your hand to his lips kissing your knuckles.
You and Kyle were acting like true tourists. Stopping to take pictures with anything you deemed to be ‘exotic.’ The petting zoo was the most fun. You got to feed the animals and you even took a selfie with a sheep that looked like Johnny. It was sent to the boys group chat and Johnny quickly made it his wallpaper.
“Look! Puppies!” you grinned pulling Kyle over to the large pen.
“Lookin’ to adopt?” An older woman in a rocking chair asked. She had overalls on, a few chickens pecking at the ground around her feet, knitting needles in hand. You made a mental note to be like her when you grew up.
“Sadly no,” you replied softly with a smile. The excited bunch ran around the pen, stumbling over each other. Except for one in the very corner, halfway under a blanket.
“That's Peaches,” the woman sighed following your gaze. “She’s free.”
“Peaches?” you questioned mostly to yourself. “Why is she free?” you chimed.
“She’s deaf, not entirely sure she can see either. She doesn't move too much,” the woman frowned.
You frowned too, walking to the other side of the cage where she was.
“Hi, pretty girl,” you whispered, crouching down. Kyle was wincing already having a feeling where this was going. The puppy looked at you with her big black eyes, before moving towards you, her body staying low to the ground.
“Well look at that,” the woman chuckled.
“Do you have a blanket or something we can buy to wrap her in?” Kyle questioned already knowing you weren't going to leave that farm without her. At least it wasn't a sheep or chicken. Mission accomplished in his eyes.
Sorry, I didn't post when I said I would! This series is going by so fast! See you in two days for chapter 21! 🧡
#novemberheart#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#ghost x reader#poly141#price x reader#simon ghost riley#soap x reader#johnny soap mactavish#captain john price x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod a/b/o#a/b/o dynamics#tf141 x female reader#poly141 x fem reader#poly 141#poly141 x reader#x female reader#cod x fem!reader#cod x you#priceghost#soapgaz#soap cod#ghost cod#Gaz cod#price cod#as needed
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Help me! I'm hypnotized...
The loser roommate I got stuck with did something to my brain. I didn't think it was possible, but that pathetic fag somehow put me in a trance. I don't remember how: with a pendant or spiral; but it doesn't matter! What matters is that at any second he can say a trigger word, and I end up like this: smiling and flexing like a fucking idiot 'till he releases me.
Sure, I look like I'm alright, but I've been stuck in this pose for two hours. My biceps ache and my shoulders are on fire. Add to that a leg cramp that I cant walk off and you'll realize how awful this torture is.
I'd just been trying to finish an essay (his essay to be exact.) I might be on the football team, but this lazy geek is forcing me to do his homework for him! And even though he ordered me to do that, against my will, he calls me up and says my fucking trigger word! It's fucking ridiculous! I used to go out and party with my teammates on nights like this, but now I'm stuck being this dweeb's mannequin-on-command.
I just know he's going to boss me around when he finally gets here. He'll probably make me cook him dinner again. I'd spit in it if I could -hell, I'd probably poison it if I could- but I know I'll be stuck in my own body again. I hate it when he tells me to smile and serve him like a waiter. God, its humiliating...
He makes me workout during my free time, which I have a lot of now that I can't speak to any of my old buddies. I gotta say that my body's never looked better. I guess their is one upside to being under his control: whenever he tells me to train harder, I have to do it.
The gym is the one area of my life where I can at least pretend that I'm not someone's trained monkey. Still, the fact that I can't even shower without his permission is a pretty harsh reminder. Whenever I get back from a workout, my legs march straight to the table where I sit, flex, and smile while I wait for him to tell me what to do. It doesn't matter how tired or hot I am. Sometimes, he doesn't even let me shower. He just tells me to mop the sweat up with my shirt and then put it back on.
I think the nerd has a thing for sweaty jocks or something. The thought of this creep making me do all this to get his little dick hard pisses me off more than anything...
I applied for a job today. It wasn't because I wanted to. My roommate decided that he wants more spending money, so he turned to me and said that I was going to earn it for him. So it wasn't enough for me to be his personal chef, maid, and eye candy! I have to be his fucking ATM now too?!
The tie wasn't my idea either. He told me to go buy some fancy clothes to make sure I impressed my "future employer." He's such a dweeb, and now he's making me dress like a loser too.
Obviously I nailed the interview. It wasn't hard when he programmed me to say things like "I've always wanted to deliver pizzas," or "I want to be the best employee you've ever had!" He made me sound like such a kiss-ass for a stupid minimum-wage job. Even the guy interviewing me thought I was being a bit excessive! I got hired on the spot, and I'm already scheduled every night this week, because my roommate specifically made me ask for as many hours as possible.
Now that I'm done with probably the most humiliating thing I've ever done, I'm stuck flexing with a tie on 'till that asshole gets home...
I got my first paycheck after a long couple of weeks doing his classwork during the day and delivering pizzas at night. My roommate texted and told me to wait by the front door with my paycheck. Apparently, he's going out tonight with some of his loser friends and wants the cash now. I can't believe I'm about to hand it over to him.
"Hey, handsome," he calls, shutting his car door.
"I'm glad your home, sir. How was your day?"
I do not give a shit about his day! He ordered me to say that whenever he gets back. He's also programmed me to get up and hug him like I'm a fucking queer in love!
"Better now," he purrs, squeezing my butt cheek while we hug, "You should come with me and my friends tonight."
The last thing I want to do is be around him and his pansy-assed friends. "Yes, sir," I smile.
"We're going to a gay bar, and I think you would be an excellent wingman."
My stomach drops at the sound of a gay bar. I don't want to be anywhere near that place, and I really don't want the guy with total control over me parading me around that place like I'm his fucking slut! Where is this going? He wouldn't make me do anything gay, right? The terrifying truth is he could. He could order me to act like a stripper there, or...or worse. Fuck! I don't think there's anything he couldn't make me do. He could order me on my knees right now, and I'd do it with this stupid smile still plastered across my face. He could make me blow his tiny cock, and I'd be helpless to do anything other than enthusiastically suck! I don't want to go to that gay bar. I have to escape.
"Yes, sir," I hear my voice gleefully ring out.
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Vertigo and Eddie Diaz
because the connection has been made between eddie's current arc and hitchcock's vertigo, i thought i'd give my two cents on the topic as a mediocre film student whose had to study vertigo for two years of her life
so here's a basic (very over-simplified) summary of vertigo for those who are unfamiliar
The protagonist, Scottie, is a policeman who took a break/was discharged/retired because he couldn't save a fellow police officer from falling off a building to his death
Because of this he suffers from vertigo and/or fear of heights
He's hired by his old friend Gavin to follow Gavin's wife, Madeline, for fear that she's been possessed by someone called Carlotta Valdez
He does so, and slowly falls in love with Madeline - and her him
We also learn that Scottie's best friend Midge is in love with him, but he's too obsessed with Madeline to notice Midge
Him and Madeline go to a church bell tower where Madeline seemingly offs herself by jumping off
Some time later, Scottie goes to Madeline's old hotel room, and finds a woman called Judy who looks exactly like Madeline
She agrees to go on a date with him
We, the audience, find out that Judy actually is Madeline (and vise versa). She was hired by Gavin to pretend to be Madeline.
Scottie grows more and more obsessed, forcing Judy to change her appearance to look like Madeline
He makes the connection that Madeline and Judy are the same person, and drives her to the bell tower
He forces her up the tower, over coming his fear of heights
Once at the top, they have a confrontation
A nun appears, scaring Judy and she once more falls to her death (really this time)
So, from what I've gathered, the loose connection between characters is:
Scottie = Eddie
Madeline = Shannon
Midge = Buck
Judy = Kim
The Nun = Marisol
Scottie's unable to save his fellow police officer. Eddie was unable to 'save' the people he pulled out the helicopter: "I pulled them out. But I didn't save them." Because of this he suffers from immense guilt and PTSD (as seen in his season 5 arc). He's unable to move on and this hinders him to a certain extent - just like Scottie.
After Shannon's death, he's thrown through the loop again, with the added bonus of him not having been able to save her too. Scottie's job was to save Madeline, and he failed at that, resulting in her 'death'.
Eddie is constantly trying to find a woman to fill that role of Shannon in his and Christopher's life; we see this with both Ana and now Marisol. He's looking for her in them. Scottie does the same - he visits the places he went with Madeline, he goes to her old room.
Eddie finds Kim, Scottie finds Judy.
For a little while, Judy helps Scottie get over and get closure on Madeline. She fills that empty space and allows him to move on. This is what I think Kim is going to do for Eddie.
She looks so much like Shannon but she simply isn't her. We know in later episodes that Buck is going to meet her and proclaim that she's "nothing like Shannon." There's a clear distinction there - Eddie is only seeing Shannon in her because he wants to, because he's still holding onto that idea. I think Kim is going to be the closing point of this ongoing search for Shannon's 'replacement'; someone who looks exactly like Shannon should be perfect, right? But when she too doesn't 'fill' that role that surely must spark some sort of realisation in Eddie, because if not her then who.
For Scottie, he feels betrayed by Judy. He brings her to the last place he saw Madeline, and ultimately, indirectly, causes her death. Obviously I don't believe Kim is actually going to die, but more the idea of her. She's the final chapter of him pursuing Shannon's ghost.
Midge is Scottie's best friend. They met in college and were engaged for a few weeks before breaking up. They spend a lot of time together, staying at each other's houses and going out. She helps Scottie through his vertigo and acrophobia, and tries to 'bring him back' in his grief. At one point, Midge paints her face onto a painting of Carlotta Valdez, showing that she's there and ready for Scottie's love, if he's willing to give it to her.
I believe, in this scenario, Buck takes on her role (for seemingly obvious reasons). Him and Eddie are best friends, they do so much together, he helps Eddie when he's struggling etc etc. Midge is the idea of the 'other woman', someone who is right in front of Scottie's eyes, someone whose always been there for him. However, Scottie is too obsessed and fixated on Madeline that he can't see this and continually brushes it away. You see where I'm going here...
Although Buck potentially doesn't even realize it himself, he has taken on Shannon's role in the Diaz family for years. Eddie already has the 'replacement' for Shannon that he's so desperately been searching for right in front of his eyes.
In Vertigo, Judy and Madeline are the same person, whereas Shannon and Kim are obviously not. However, the comparison still stands.
Scottie meets Judy and immedietely latches onto her because she looks so much like Madeline (duh) and he is so desperate for anything that'll keep Madeline's memory with him. He makes her undergo a series of phsyical changes (dyeing her hair, changing her wardrobe, her style etc etc) so that she appears more like Madeline - so he can get that closure and pretend.
Eddie clearly isn't going to do this to Kim. However, whatever way you spin it, he is projecting Shannon onto her. He saw her, and thought of Shannon, he pursued her because of that, he's doing all this because of Shannon. He is chasing that closure and that moment were he can be like 'Ah. I've finally found someone who can be Shannon for me and Chris.'
I doubt Kim is going to be around particularly long. As much as it sounds diminishing, she really is just a tool for Eddie to have this realization that nobody can replace Shannon, and that that's okay. He doesn't need to find Shannon 2.0.
Now, in Vertigo, when Scottie and Judy are arguing on the bell tower, a nun appears from the shadows and startles them - causing Judy to fall to her death. It's a very abrupt and out of nowhere.
The character of the nun, I think could represent either one of two things. Marisol, as we know, used to be a nun (i'm still not over this btw). That's a pretty straight-forward, clear cut comparison. The nun causes Judy to die, Marisol causes 'Shannon', and the idea of Shannon, to 'die'. This interpretation leans more heavily on Marisol and Eddie staying together, however, so I'm not sure.
The nun could also just represent religion as a whole, and Eddie's Catholic guilt particularly. Eddie tells Bobby that he only really married Shannon because he felt like he had to, he felt pressured into it because of his religious guilt. Despite this, "There was still a part of me that loved being married to her."
There's no doubt in my mind that Eddie loved Shannon. He did, they loved each other, and he still does love her - he always will. I do think that the choice of focussing on his marriage to her and how he "loved being married to her" is interesting though, he doesn't try to clarify that he was in love with her. This could just be because it's a given orrr
Whatever, not really the point.
The point is, the fact he's now "awakened" his Catholic guilt by finding out Marisol was a nun, must mean something for his upcoming arc. In Vertigo, the nun kills Judy. Here, his religious guilt 'kills' the idea of Shannon??
I'll definitely have more ideas about this later but this was my word vomit for now! Let me know what you think please.
(Also something I find funny is that the actress of Madeline/Judy is called Kim!)
#eddie diaz#shannon diaz#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 on abc#911 season 7#911 season 7 episode 7#buddie#evan buckley#eddie and marisol#eddie and buck#eddie and shannon#911 textpost#911 analysis
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Best friends brother
I had been best friends with Sarah Cameron for as long as i could remember. Our families go way back and had known each other for years.
Sarah is the kook princess, everyone knows her and everyone loves her. She's dating Topper Thornton, her brother's best friend. They're constantly arguing with each other and it's so tiring. Topper is very short tempered and gets annoyed by Sarah's friendliness towards everybody. I have to tolerate Topper as he's around most of the time, but i have my reasons why he's not my favorite.
Sarah's older brother Rafe is just so dreamy. Due to me being very close with Sarah he has to put up with me constantly being around, but deep down i know he doesn't mind that one bit.
I've known Rafe since he was a stroppy 9 year old boy. I've watched his mannerisms change over the years as he developed into the person he is.
We never really took any notice of each other when we were younger, but once we both matured, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other.
We had gotten much closer over the past two years and everyone had noticed. We spoke more at parties, laughed together, got drunk together and behind closed doors we did things we know we shouldn't.
But we just couldn't help it.
I wanted him because i knew i couldn't have him.
i remember when i first developed a little crush for him a couple of years ago, and i would get upset every time he brought a new girl home. Which was usually once a week, sometimes more. But overtime this bad habit had worn off once we started getting closer.
We are actually dating now but it's a massive secret. No one can know, and that's what makes it exciting. Sneaking around together gives both of us a buzz that's indescribable.
I used to tell myself that i would never do anything to ruin mine and Sarah's friendship, yet here i was laying in her brothers bed with nothing but his t-shirt and my pink panties on. My body pressed up against Rafe's bare chest, my finger nail tracing shapes on his right bicep. His arms lazily draped around my waist and had been for most of the night.
It was early morning in the Outer Banks and i had been awake for a little while, just watching Rafe peacefully sleep, looking so calm and relaxed. I listened to his slow heart beat gently bump in his chest, calming me also.
I watched him as he blinked his eyes open, adjusting to the light that beamed through the curtains. I placed a couple of gentle kisses along his jawline to let him know i was awake before nuzzling my head back into his chest.
His hand gently stroked my hair and i felt his lips kiss the top of my head, making me smile to myself. I loved mornings like this, Rafe being all soft compared to his usual tough boy act. No one ever saw this loving side to him and that's why everyone thinks he's a hot headed maniac. Most people only see his bad moments as he doesn't let his guard down very easily, but i was so grateful he chose me to be like this with.
"morning baby" i whispered to him, propping myself up onto my elbows so i could look at his face.
He squinted at me, his eyes still not adjusted to the light. He slowly removed his arm from around my waist and rubbed his eyes with his hand. I lightly laughed at his action, knowing that he wasn't a morning person but he was trying his best.
"morning beautiful" he replied, his voice slightly cracking due to him not being fully awake yet.
I just looked at him with loving eyes, wondering how i got so lucky. My heart fluttered in my chest at his compliment and how sexy he sounded with his morning voice.
I cupped his right cheek gently and connected our lips, the kisses were gentle and passionate, full of warmth and love.
I could feel Rafe's hands traveling down my body and they stopped at my bum, squeezing the flesh, causing me to giggle into his mouth and our lips separating.
"Rafeee" i squealed from his unexpected gesture.
Before i could say anything else, Rafe grabbed my chin and reconnected our lips, the kisses still so gentle and soft.
As much as i wanted to stay in bed all morning with Rafe, cuddling with him and absorbing all his body heat. I couldn't risk getting caught in here and he knew that. A lot of the time we spend together has to get cut short and it's so annoying because all we want to do is be together every minute of every day. But we just can't.
I struggled to pull away from Rafe as he knew what time it was. He knew i had to leave and scurry off to the guest bedroom and act like i didn't spend all night and all morning laying in his bed.
He groaned out of frustration and peppered kisses all over my face. I giggled at his clinginess, "baby i have to go" i told him firmly but softly, looking at him with an apologetic expression.
I hated leaving him in the mornings when he's all cute and precious. He grabbed my body and pulled me into him, not wanting to let me go, "just five more minutes" he groaned out, wrapping his big arms around my small frame. He made me feel so comfortable and safe but now really wasn't the time, any minute now Sarah would wake up and come searching for me.
I untangled myself from his arms and quickly jumped out of bed. The slightly cold air pricked my skin, goosebumps appearing on my arms. I searched the room for my pjs, needing to change into them. I know Sarah would think me wondering around in her brother's top is strange and i don't want to cause any suspicion.
"look away" i told Rafe, about to pull his top over my head.
He jokingly scoffed, "your kidding right? I've seen you naked plenty of times"
He's right, but i knew i wouldn't be able to resist his lustful stare as i stripped in the middle of his bedroom. However, i didn't have to time to argue with him over such a silly thing, so i just pulled his top over my head, leaving me in just my pink panties.
My hand instantly shot over my bare breasts as i hurried to pull my own floral pajama top over my head.
"don't cover yourself up sweetheart, let me see you" Rafe demanded, i could tell he had a huge smirk on his lips, despite me not looking his way.
His seductive voice turned me on so much, i loved the way he made me feel. He made me feel like the only girl in the world and he treated me like a goddess.
I dropped my arm from breasts and let them free, perfectly on display for Rafe to eye. I looked over at him and saw him lick his lips.
"such pretty tits" he blurted out, running a hand over his buzzed hair, clearly overstimulated.
I smirked to myself as i pulled my top over my head. I loved how much control i had over him. The way he just drowned me in compliments all of the time made me feel so confident.
i teasingly bent down to grab my pajama shorts, my ass in perfect view for Rafe to see. I heard him grunt from behind me and i quickly stepped into my shorts before turning to face him.
"everything okay baby?" i asked him with a devious smirk on my lips.
He chuckled to himself, "you're such a little tease" he laughed softly and readjusted himself under the covers.
I quickly leant over him to give him a quick peck on the lips before exiting his room. I felt his hand slap my ass and i looked at back at him with wide eyes.
"i love you" i told him before opening his bedroom door to leave.
He smiled at my words and responded, "i love you more baby"
I gently shut Rafe's bedroom door behind me and i quickly scurried to the guest bedroom three doors down. I opened the door, the bed was freshly made and the windows were ajar, a little breeze blowing the curtains. I rolled onto the bed and buried myself underneath the covers, making it look like i had spent the night here.
I missed Rafe already. I missed hearing him breathe in my ear, i missed the feeling of his lips on mine and peppering my skin and i missed the way he looked at me. I couldn't put into words the amount of love i feel for him, and i fall in love with him more and more every single day. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
I adored him so much and never understood how anyone can be mean to him. I understood that he doesn't appear to be the friendliest person on the planet but i believe that you have to give everyone a chance. i took my chance with Rafe and it was one hundred percent worth it.
I opened my phone and typed a message to Rafe,
Me: I miss you baby x
He responded almost immediately, a mirror picture of him with a towel wrapped around his waist. His v line peeking over the top and little water droplets running down his abs. There was text at the bottom stating, i miss you too baby girl
My core was aching for him, he knew i loved him like this.
I quickly went into the guest bathroom that was attached to the bedroom and pulled my tiny pajama shorts down. I snapped a picture of my ass, it was slightly covered by my tiny pink thong, but it was perfect. He knew exactly how to turn me on, and i knew exactly how to turn him on.
Rafe started typing and his message read,
Rafe: fuck baby, i need you
That was it. As soon as i received that message, i quickly pulled my shorts on. i exited the guest room and headed straight for Rafe's. My hand reached the door knob but before i could turn it and enter the room I heard my name.
"y/n? what are you doing?" Sarah asked, confusion written all over her face.
My face dropped.
Shit.
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