#it was generally bc i was more afraid of punishment by The People In Charge

[lord-squiggletits]

pharma really is such an interesting case. one thing i’ve always felt with pharma is that he absolutely doesn’t want consequences. and facing up to it requires a lot of looking at and showing people what he’s done and you know. the consequences. i mean hell he’d rather start a plague than say “hey i got coerced into doing a very bad thing by the djd”

I do understand what you mean about Pharma not wanting to face consequences, but on the other hand, I kind of understand why Pharma made a plague rather than admit to medical malpractice/murder? Because like, the thing that I don't see brought up often enough with regards to Pharma is that blackmail... is blackmail. Like, as someone who's unfortunately been on the receiving end of blackmail, the entire point of blackmailing someone is that you corner them into doing bad things by convincing them that they CAN'T turn to an authority figure to ask for help. Like, the person doing the blackmailing generally convinces the person who's getting blackmailed that if they try to reach out for help, the law/authorities/etc either won't care about their predicament or will punish them for the bad thing they did that they're getting blackmailed about.

I kind of feel like (and this isn't an attack on you, just a commentary about the nature of blackmail) when someone like Ratchet looks at Pharma and says "but you could've called for help or shut down the clinic or anything!", it kind of ignores the fact that...... when you're being blackmailed you're fucking terrified, and people who are terrified generally don't jump to the most rational, safe solutions possible? When you add in the fact that Pharma was blackmailed by Tarn of the DJD, notorious hater of Autobots and fanatic leader of a torture club, it's not hard to imagine that Pharma was both afraid and in pain (or threat of pain) while at Delphi and thus wouldn't be thinking straight about it.

I don't know, like. Yeah, on one hand Pharma made a plague and killed a bunch of people to try and cover up his crimes and maintain his career. But he didn't just do it for ego related reasons, he was also almost certainly facing threats of torture and death.

[7hyuns]

exo as doms or subs

a/n; so uh i know i’ve been Dead for a long time but this is just a lil update while i finally commit to finishing a fic [also i’m gonna add the read more at the top again bc it’s uhh lengthy this time....] [also again uh the fic should be up soon!!]

junmyeon; 

overall; 

alright he’s a dom

but i honestly don’t think he’s a hardcore dom with a big ass daddy kink

i mean ok he has a daddy kink but it’s,, idk he isn’t as hardcore as i’ve seen him depicted as

anyway i think in general he’s probably got a big ass daddy kink

and he’d love giving you cute nicknames and even cuter lingerie

but i don’t think he’d be into too many different kinks

i do believe he’d have set kinks and wouldn’t really want to stray from them too much

however! he’d be happy to indulge a few of yours as long as they didn’t go against anything he wasn’t into

i don’t think he’d particularly like inflicting pain but if it was like a Big Kink for you then he’d indulge it a lil bit

so yeah uh in conclusion he’s definitely in charge and he’s definitely a top but i don’t necessarily think he’s an ultra hardcore dom

kinks: 

daddy

probably only likes indulging a pain kink in the form of spanking (giving)

lingerie ! (i think especially silk) (on you)

light restriction (giving)

hand holding oof

praise (giving)

lowkey enjoys receiving praise though

punishments;

wouldn’t be many

you could definitely get away with quite a lot

but, if he finally Snapped and got to it then you’d definitely know oof

he would be really irritated that it actually got to a point where he had to punish you

because he expects a lot more of you than for you to act up like that

so he’d probably stick to spanking as a punishment but i don’t think he’d talk or say anything throughout

doesn’t really use any other but would occasionally overstimulate you

aftercare; 

completely over the top

he’s very thorough

asks a million questions so he knows you’re feeling ok

hates the idea that he might have either hurt you/not made you feel good enough

probably orders takeout and watches a movie you’ve both seen a hundred times before

is just very focused on you feeling good and being in a good mood before you sleep

would be very attentive if you wanted to talk to him

but he’d also be very quiet if you seemed to just want to chill out and not say anything

overall i think he’d just be very good at handling aftercare even if it wasn’t entirely necessary  

minseok; 

overall;

a dom

a dom i am thoroughly afraid of

anyway he’s the biggest dom in exo don’t @ me on this

i think he’s probably lowkey a sadist

his kinks would also probably slip out of the bedroom sometimes but i don’t think it’d be a consistent all the time thing

lives for when you act like a brat! he’d find it so funny that you think there’s even the slightest possibility he’d overlook it

also he loves punishing you so he’d find an excuse to all the time

i also think he’d tease you in public literally all the time just because he knows he can

has no fear if you moan in public then that’s on you and he’d just be like “what was that? did you say something? repeat yourself for us”

the only time i think he’d panic over it is if it was in front of like family or something,,, which i mean now he knows not to tease you under the table of a family dinner again

really, really wants you to be vocal so he can tell that he’s making you feel good

kinks; 

alright he’s got a lengthy list

but the biggest ones are:

pain (giving)

also the king of dirty talk (giving)

grinding (giving)

scratching (receiving)

hair pulling (giving)

biting (giving and receiving)

choking (giving)

light slapping (giving)

bondage (giving)

blindfolds (giving)

punishments;

so anyway punishments are one of his favourite things

absolutely adores when you just apologise/thank him without him having to tell you because ! that’s his whole ass baby

is into literally everything he can do lol

likes spanking but he finds it a lil bit repetitive (and he knows u like it)

uses orgasm denial a lot just because i mean who genuinely likes that for a long period of time

and when i say a long period of time i mean he wouldn’t really stop until you literally begged him

like. ur gonna end up crying and he’s just gonna be like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is your fault, isn’t it?”

but ! if you apologise and/or beg and whine he…..melts

he’d just find it so endearing?? idk he’d love it a whole bunch

tells you to keep your hands to yourself but doesn’t tie them as a punishment

tells you to not make any noise (as a side note for this: you would literally always break this and he wouldn’t ever actually punish you over it because as i said earlier: he loves when you make noise for him)

aftercare; 

so many lil forehead kisses it’s unbelievable

wants to spend a couple minutes just holding you and being silent

he’s probably pretty messy during so he’d definitely want to tidy up

wants to change the bedsheets so you gotta go shower

he’d either join you in the shower after he’s done fixing everything back up

or he’d just wait for you to be done in the bathroom before he’d insist on redressing you himself

i think he would just wanna sleep pretty soon after getting everything tidy again

but he’d pull you into a really close cuddle before he fell asleep just so he “knows you’re still there”

you’d probably ask him one night something like “where else would i go wtf”

and he’d just pull you into the exact same cuddle n be like “idk bro somewhere…….”  

yixing;

overall;

anyway, he’s a dom

the only reason people don’t think he’s a dom is because of the trope that he’s an innocent confused cute dumb boy

and i mean i’m sorry to ruin that but like. he’s not

having said that i don’t know whether he’d fully pick up on your kinks/you being a sub until things get heated between you for the first time

and then i think from there he’d just get more and more comfortable in being the more dominant one

for some reason i think he’d feel a lil bit weird being overly dominant for a while? because he’d be worried about it being a dynamic you weren’t into

but i think if you reassured him about it then he’d get a lot more into it

he might not even fully realise that he’s initially being the more dominant one because it’s probably a natural reaction for him

i don’t think he’d ever bottom but i do think he’d leave it open quite often for you to take a lil bit of control and tell him what you want

he’d also be pretty stoic and blunt during because he’d already know you’re into it lmao

kinks; 

just being a dom is a big kink for him

probably has a thigh kink

this man ! i bet he has an oral kink

probably mainly for giving but like…he’s not gonna say no if you offer

also lingerie (i think he’d like really fancy over the top kind of stuff) (on you)

also. he’s a romantic man you know

he lovs hand holding

and kissing !!! lots and lots of kissing

are makeout sessions classed as a kink

anyway. he also likes bondage too (giving)

punishments;

“i’m not mad i’m just disappointed”

he totally isn’t disappointed at all though we already know

he keeps the act up though!

makes you apologise when he spanks you and acts like you’ve personally offended him

isn’t into overstimulation because like he thinks that’s too nice for u

i think his biggest go-to punishment is spanking 100%

but he’s definitely into orgasm denial too just because he loves you getting desperate for him

but at the same time i don’t think he’d feel the need to punish you for a lot? like i don’t think he’d get jealous very easily so that wouldn’t be an issue

however…….teasing him……..a big No

it wld always make him so mad because. what is the reason

so if that ever happened the punishment is extended x20 i mean good luck ever getting off he can hold a grudge lol

aftercare; 

actual angel or zhang yixing? who can tell

lil kisses!! forehead kisses, cheek kisses, nose kisses

wants you to eat but he can’t cook :/// so you gotta order in

ok but he’s definitely the type to wanna shower together

but…he’d be a lil bit too nervous to actually fuck in the shower because? what happens if he drops you? what happens if he falls? there’s way too much that could go wrong

would be cool with going down on you in the shower though :) lucky you

probably puts you in fancy pyjamas afterwards

then u know,, time to sleep

he doesn’t really wanna do anything else tbh he’s sleepy

jongdae; 

overall; 

hm i don’t think he’s massively into the dom sub roles

i think he’d have a default for being the more dominant one and he’s  usually on top

but if you went to top him he wouldn’t have any issue with it

i wouldn’t say he’s vanilla but i don’t think he’d have many kinks going into a relationship

i do think more would develop the longer he was with someone

but he’d find quite a lot of kinky stuff a lil bit gross and off-putting

having said that he’d be pretty open-minded about trying new stuff with you

it might take him a while to be comfortable enough to casually talk about different things to try

but once he is it would just be completely normal to have him bring up something he’s heard of and wants to try literally anywhere

you could be sat at a breakfast table with him and he’d get halfway through his cereal before he’d be like “what about choking should we try that out?”  

kinks; 

ok so he’d pretty much try everything that’s not massively extreme out

but the ones he enjoyed most and wanted to do again would be

hair pulling (receiving)

bondage (giving and receiving)

light choking (giving)

dry humping (he would literally never admit to liking this because he’d be lowkey embarrassed bc it’s in his top three kinks)

marking (giving)

scratching (receiving)  

punishments;

there wouldn’t be any for either of you !!

aftercare; 

i think he’d either fall asleep straight after

or he’d wanna stay up and watch a movie for a lil bit

either way he’d be pretty clingy and would wanna be touching you the whole time

i know it’s annoying when people play into the tropes of their personality but oh my god he would be so whiny

just wants to cuddle and then sleep and occasionally give you about fifty kisses

baekhyun; 

(i was gonna use a more recent gif but. i love this one with more than my whole heart)

overall;

an iconic switch

leaning much toward being a sub

would be a tease whether he was a bottom or a top

loves provoking you! it’s his hobby and his passion

so difficult as a sub he listens to nothing you say

laughs when you try and tell him what to do

laughs even more when you actually punish him

he literally gets so much enjoyment out of being scolded it’s ridiculous

the Biggest Brat

it’s honestly like he has a check list of stuff he isn’t supposed to do and goes through it every day

because he loves punishments but that’s beside the point

anyway, tease him in public because he absolutely loves it

he ! is ! the ! king ! of ! dirty ! talk

whether he’s the bottom or the top, he won’t shut up

kinks; 

there’s so many i’ll just list a few

bondage (receiving) (also loves being restrained but bondage beats it out)

blindfolds (receiving)

choking (giving and receiving)

hair pulling (receiving)

lowkey i think he just likes being manhandled lmao

degrading (giving and receiving)

worship (giving)

praise (receiving)

ice play (receiving)

probably wax play or some shit oof (receiving)

punishments; 

alright so for him very few work

your threats of not getting him off at all don’t work because “then i’ll just get myself off :)”

like i said, he loves punishments

he loves it when he gets overstimulated, he loves it when he gets his orgasms denied, he loves getting blindfolded, he loves getting tied up, he just ! loves using different kinks

however ! i feel like one he would be into but would still view as a punishment is actually spanking

like have you seen how whiny that boy is?? he pouts, he complains, he whines, he begs

so, yeah, spanking works but! he doesn’t wanna do it often just bc sometimes he just genuinely isn’t in the mood to fully indulge his/your pain kink you know

for you, though, he thinks spanking is a bit boring

he would much rather get creative with them and try and either overstimulate/deny your orgasms in public  

aftercare; 

is either sleepy and wants to cuddle up to you and go straight to sleep

or he wants everything to be completely over the top !

wants to cuddle and watch a movie, wants to be praised n given lil kisses, wants a warm bath with nice ass soaps, wants candy and all of his favourite foods

or he’ll literally just fall asleep the second you’re untangled from each other

you’d still try and clean him up though (to which he would pout and try to turn over so he could sleep without being disturbed)

grins really big when you give him forehead kisses !!! like !!! that’s his favourite thing about aftercare by far

if he’d been the dom, i think his aftercare would be pretty similar to him getting aftercare if that makes sense?

he’d always make sure you were ok but he’d still most likely just wanna sleep straight away  

chanyeol; 

overall; 

i….honestly think he’s a dom

like i know a lot of people see him as a sub

but i just don’t ://

with that being said! let’s get into the theories it

i don’t think he’d be a very soft dom loll

i don’t even mean that i think he’s into really hardcore stuff i just mean that’s he rude

you’d probably be shook the first time you slept together because?? he’s always so smiley and adorable?? where did this come from??

i think he’d also forget just how BigTM he is sometimes so he might accidentally grip u too tight

but you’d be thinking it’s for the kink because i mean ur into it

and then you’d bruise and he’d be like “??? how did this happen i am the worst person”

so that’s why you two would have to actually talk about your kinks

again, he’s one of the members that wouldn’t fully realise he’s being the more dominant one until you actually discussed it lmao  

kinks; 

hm i don’t think he’d have many going into the relationship

but he’d definitely develop more the longer you were together!!

choking (giving)

hair pulling (giving and receiving)

body worship (receiving)

dirty talk (giving because he loves having an affect on you that isn’t like. done by him directly u know)

i think he probably likes to be giggly and light-hearted sometimes !!!!!!  

hand holding because he’s soft really

restriction !!! (giving)

punishments; 

honestly. he’s mean

gets a lil bit more aggressive

i think he sticks mostly to spanking

but he’d definitely be into overstimulation i just think he’d use it as more of a reward

orgasm denial is another go-to but only when he has enough effort to hold out too lol

if there was gonna be longer punishments (such as spanking/orgasm denial etc.) he would definitely make it clear you could hold his hand after a while !!

but seriously if you whined/begged him for a longer amount of time during orgasm denial bitch. he’s done ! like. punishment over. that’s his baby

aftercare; 

the ONLY man i know

he’d literally go from 100 back down to 0

his dom mood is just over immediately?

he’d be really attentive !!!

if you wanted to talk then he’d listen to you ramble about stuff and answer you coherently every time

tries to make you whatever food you want or if he couldn’t he’d literally go wherever to get whatever it was with you

has a playlist to listen to if you go on drives/when you clean up

he isn’t too bothered about getting everything massively tidy but he would probably wanna shower

if you wanted to join him he’d probably wash himself off n then you :(

lots of giggling!!!! he would just be smiling at u really softly and giving you lil forehead kisses and playing with your hair while you two calmed down

sleeping w/o cuddling chanyeol would literally be considered a crime by him so if you wanna sleep after that’s the rule

kyungsoo; 

overall; 

haha ! goodbye

he’s a dom don’t slander his name

i think he’s probably verging on being a sadist or he just is a sadist lol

he couldn’t bottom even if he tried

and he really would try if you asked him to but he just wouldn’t like it at all

probably does stuff to make you break rules he’s set (which he would because he’s extra) on purpose so he has an excuse to be extra mean

honestly his face just doesn’t change. ever

but he’d definitely internally panic so much if you ever looked even in the vaguest bit uncomfortable

anyway. i firmly believe that he’s not into public teasing and if you pulled that on him he’d be genuinely mad

i don’t think the dynamic would go out of the bedroom intentionally? but i do think it’d slip out accidentally a few times

kinks; 

choking (giving)

pain in general (giving)

doesn’t really like any type of power struggle

brat taming brat taming brat taming brat taming

vocal command king wow (giving)

slapping goodbye (giving)

bondage (giving)

he’s probably into like. most bdsm stuff lol

punishments; 

alright they can go on for quite a while

you’d probably think you’d genuinely upset him

he wouldn’t talk very much, and when he did it would all be degradation

makes you second guess yourself?? like you’d do something and he’d just raise his eyebrows at you or tilt his head

deadass would ask you directly why you’d done whatever he was punishing you for

says whatever answer you give him isn’t good enough

definitely uses bondage/blindfolding/gagging together as a punishment like. bye

reminds you of all the different things you can do if you want him to stop before he goes straight into punishments

will deny your orgasms and then overstimulate you until you’re crying from both of them  

doesn’t tell you to but expects you to apologise and thank him if he’s spanking you

wouldn’t even touch you until he felt like you deserved it lol

aftercare; 

very necessary!!!

he goes over all the main points

always reminds you that he doesn’t mean the degrading

so much praise !

being called a good girl/boy by kyungsoo is the highest form of praise and he only does it during aftercare

feather-light kisses ! hundreds of them !

cooks for you, makes sure you drink at least a whole bottle of water

would talk really softly to you while you fall asleep just so you know he’s there for u :(  

asks a million times if there’s anything you want/need him to do

jongin; 

overall; 

lmao i think he’d probably be a service sub bye

like. he isn’t a dom but if you wanted to be the sub then! suddenly he’s a certified dom

but i do think if it was just up to him he’d be the sub

he’s into whatever works out for you!!!

as a dom, i think he’d probably be really weak-willed u know

like. no punishments unless u wanted them, only indulges kinks u like etc.

but as a sub!! oh boy

i don’t think he’d be too much of a brat but he definitely could be one

i think it really just depends on his mood

because he kinda seems like he’d be a total baby boy too

anyways, he’d lowkey (not that he would ever admit it) like being teased in public

he’d love being degraded and praised at the same time? like it’d just make him blush so much?

dirty talk is his biggest weakness ! he’d be so easily flustered by it lmao  

kinks; 

lowkey is hand holding a kink

hair pulling (receiving)

oral (receiving) (i do however believe he’d be one of the best at giving in exo)

i think he’d be really into foreplay just in general? he’d really like finding different things to incorporate into it

restraints (receiving)

praise (giving and receiving)

body worship (giving)

degrading (receiving)

dirty talk (receiving)

punishments; 

hm he’d get quite sensitive during punishments i think

like: every time you touched him if he’d have a blindfold on he’d jump

every time you did anything when he was handcuffed he’d tug at them

is completely willing to beg if that’s what you want from him

honestly full offence but punishing jongin would just be really hot

he’d be so reactive to everything you did it’d be impossible not to want to give him more

lives for having his orgasms denied because he really does try and prove just how far and how long he’s willing to hold out for you

he’d be so tensed up and he’d definitely be biting back his moans if you told him to and you would just be able to see his eyes glazing over with tears slightly

would actually be so appreciative when you finally end the punishment?? like you’d go to praise him and he’d already be stuttering out praise for you  

aftercare; 

wants all the hugs! all the kisses! all the praise!

will literally not be left alone for aftercare

you gotta be with him because he’d just kinda attach himself to you and then. not let go until you both went to sleep

gets a lil restless sometimes and would wanna watch something and just chill out for a lil bit before sleeping

but even then you gotta be touching

he’d get so soft if you made him eat and drink because !! he loves being showed affection afterwards  

when you finally go to sleep he’d 100% want to be the little spoon you can’t change my mind

sehun; 

(say nothing about the gif i would sell my soul for it)

overall; 

a true switch

honestly switches so often it’s hard to actually keep up

switches every day, sometimes you’d be the dom and then half way through he’d be like “:/ funny that u think u can dom me”

sehun just. will not beg. ever. he’d complain all the time but like who is begging? he doesn’t know her

but, you’d still wanna get sehun to beg eventually

which is why you two had to have a safeword real early on lmao

as a sub, i think he’d be whiny and he’d complain and tease you

but would also be shocked when he gets punished? like what did he think was gonna happen? he doesn’t know but not this

as a dom, he would literally use any excuse to punish you like?

it’d get to the point where one of your rules had to be that whatever either of you did as doms couldn’t be used to give a reason for punishment (he highly dislikes this punishment)

he’s a brat whether he’s the dom or the sub

sometimes it wouldn’t even be about you switching it’d just be because he was annoying you loll

as a dom i think he’d be pretty sadistic and mean

but he’d also be rlly into being on the receiving end of that

teases you and then laughs when you get upset because it’s just a joke to him :,) 

kinks; 

i’m about to say it; he’d have a kink for receiving anything

oral (receiving)

dirty talk (giving)

degrading (giving and receiving)

worship (receiving)

pain (giving and receiving)

hair pulling (giving)

biting (giving and receiving)

choking (giving and receiving)

having his fingers in ur mouth lol  

punishments; 

oh boy

sehun whenever he’s a sub: knows he’s done something you directly told him not

you whenever you’re a dom: punishes him for it

sehun: :O

he’s such a brat you’d have to punish him almost all the time

he’d put up such a fight? like, if you restrained him he’d try and get out of them all the time??

like i said, he will not ever beg for anything

so you’d deny his orgasms and tell him to beg for it and he just wouldn’t

he would literally be verging on crying from how frustrated he was n all of his muscles and his jaw wld be tensed up and he would refuse to beg

eventually you’d have to give up or he’d have to safeword

actually dislikes being overstimulated just because he’d find it more uncomfortable than nice

wld let you occasionally as a punishment though

but! he loves overstimulating you as a punishment lmao

i honestly think he’d be pretty into making you cry rip because “i like to know i’m making you feel good :,)”

would spank you but not often because there’s nothing in it for him  

aftercare; 

i think it’d be important

but i also think you’d both have to do it for each other no matter who was the dom and who was the sub u know

like, you just gotta take a few quiet minutes together to re-collect yourselves from whatever role/s you were in that night

he’d wanna spend a little while just talking softly about how both of you are doing

definitely gets you both matching pyjamas to wear afterwards

isn’t afraid to wear a blanket like a cape n watch a cartoon w you if that’s what you wanted to do

but you’d have to get him snacks ready :)

would probably wanna be the little spoon after he’d been the sub and the big spoon after he’d been the dom  

[peterporkerpeter]

Code Red P.VII [Peter Parker x Avenger!Reader]

SUMMARY: When the Avengers are given the mission to acquire a deadly weapon in the possession of a suspicious professor, Y/N must attend a gala in order to charm the professor’s quite dangerous son. Her date to the gala? None other than her crush: Peter Parker himself. That’s bound to make for an interesting evening

CONTAINS: mention of sexual harrassment (for like only a hot sec), blood, swearing, ANGST, FLUFF, peter parker crying oof

WC: 4.000 

A/N: i’m so proud of this chapter, it is my favorite one yet and i really hope that you guys like this one. i was listening to some good tunes when i was writing and it got me really in the zone lol. this chapter is extra long bc i was feeling like a generous bitch so i hope yall like it. im literally screaming. hope you have a great day/night! :) Also, some people have mentioned that the tag list isn’t working for them! I’m so sorry about that, and if i’m being honest i have no idea how to fix it lol

| ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | EIGHT |

Y/N SLAMMED HER DOOR shut, violently throwing her heels onto the mattress. There were several things she needed to do, the first being to find a new, fresh pair of clothes to change into. Breathing heavily, Y/N shimmied out of her red dress, now stained with dark crimson splotches. She ferreted through her closet, ignoring the bursts of pain from her worn wrists.

She settled on a comfortable cream sweater and a pair of gray sweat pants, feeling better already. She rolled up the sleeves and headed for the bathroom, where she dunked her head down towards the sink, flipping on the faucet. It took a century and a half to get majority of the makeup off her face without irritating her fresh wounds too badly, the water turning a mixture of red, black, and brown.

Y/N patted her face dry, relieved that her skin could finally breathe. The cuts still stung like a bitch, but she couldn't care less. She was home in her room, clothed in something comfortable and no longer in imminent danger for the rest of the night. It was a breath of fresh air to her, not just her skin.

She tried not to think about the way she had treated her team earlier. She knew she was acting mean and impulsive, but the words kept spilling out of her mouth before she could stop them. She just couldn't bare standing in that living room after brushing close with death a handful of times. And her head—God, her head. It would not stop pounding, like someone was driving an ice pick straight into her skull.

The mere thought of Axel's face caused a tremor to spike in her heart. She glanced in the mirror, eyeing the injuries he'd given her as some sick present. The coldness in his eyes still left her afraid. She felt like an idiot, too. She knew something was off, but she still insisted with continuing with the mission regardless of her countering intuition. In some twisted way, she felt like part of it was her own fault. Maybe that's why she acted out—because she was ashamed.

She felt a chill run down her spine, Axel's ghosting touch still grazing along her leg, his hot breath nipping at her ear. It felt like he was on top of her, smothering he beneath him until she couldn't breath. She felt like she was drowning. She didn't want to think of what else a sadistic asshole like him was capable of. She just hoped her team would deal with him.

Warm tears poured down her cheeks, and she buried her face in her hands, wishing she could just stop thinking for a minute.

Y/N swallowed, shaking her head. She sniffled, then started to tend to her wounds.

THE TEAM ARRIVED HOME fourty-five later, completely drained and exhausted from the demanding evening. It didn't take long for Fury to send in a clean up crew and detain Axel. His father still remained in the wind, but there was no knowing if he was going to be charged for anything or not—at least not by S.H.I.E.L.D. considering the weapon was nowhere to be found. Peter had managed to create a pretty accurate cover story for the gem, not wanting Y/N to get punished for dealing with it on her own accord. He trusted that she knew what she was doing, and he would ask her about it later, just not when she was so vulnerable and upset.

Everyone was concerned for Y/N. She hadn't sent a message or any word at all regarding whether or not she was doing all right. Then again, they didn't really expect to hear from her. They knew she was in a quite sensitive state of mind, and they understood. They've all been where she is at some point in their lives. Pain was inevitable. Only time could tell when Y/N would finally realize that.

"Can we not come in tomorrow?" Clint grumbled rhetorically.

"Is Y/N asleep?" Wanda asked. "Someone needs to make sure she's patched up after the beating she took. And we need to make sure those wrists aren't infected."

"I got it," Peter muttered.

"The other guy looked worse," Natasha grinned sheepishly. "That broken coffee table in there? She slammed him down on top of it with her hands tied. She is a badass, and she'll get through this."

"She shouldn't have to," Tony murmured. His guilty conscience continued to give him a difficult time throughout the night. He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight—not with where his thoughts were. Not with the image of her wrists rubbed raw and bleeding engraved in his mind like a tattoo.

Tony turned towards Peter, whose eyes were beginning to droop. The poor kid looked utterly broken down, but he pushed through. All he wanted to do was see Y/N. The older man clasped a hand on his trainee's shoulder. "You did good today, kiddo. Honestly, the teens saved the whole day with this one. You both kicked some major ass. Props to you."

Peter shrugged, fingers tightening around the bag of Chick-Fil-A absentmindedly dangling from his grip. "Doesn't matter. Thanks, but . . . it doesn't matter. I-I don't know why she was so upset with you guys, if anything when I got there she just seemed sad—"

"And that's a normal response to a traumatizing situation," Natasha shook her head. "It's expected to lash out, especially out of shame or embarrassment. And she's still just a kid, Peter. She didn't have her powers, just what she knew from what we taught her. She was scared."

"She will come around tomorrow," Steve added. "Let her rest. Let her eat. It's best to leave her be. Someone will go in and check out her—"

"I can," Peter interjected. "She'll talk to me."

The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open to reveal the living room of the main floor. The kitchen was untouched, the cold granite countertops wiped clean the precise way they were before the team dispatched. Darkness embodied the room, silence enveloping the homey premises. Peter noticed the familiar outline of a girl standing outside on the balcony, her elbows resting upon the cement wall, eyes looking out amongst the humming city illuminated below.

"There she is," Wanda smiled fondly.

Peter's eyes softened, sparkling faintly in the darkness. A familiar warmth ignited within his chest, his lips parting slightly, curving up to form the faintest smile. It was soft like stardust. He was awestricken and intrigued and nervous. He noticed she was wearing a casual sweater and sweatpants, and she looked just as beautiful as she did earlier in her long, silk gown.

Y/N was nonchalantly manipulating a glowing line of orange tinted energy, watching cathartically as the color twisted to follow the smooth, fluid movements of her fingertips. She seemed at ease for the first time this evening since her and Peter shared their dance; he would give anything just to have her that close to him again.

He could still vaguely feel her lips pressed against his. He remembered the warmth that had curled around him like a cozy blanket afterward. The brokenness in her eyes when he last saw her hurt him more than he anticipated it would. He never wanted to see her like that again—bleeding, crying, fighting for her life. Never. He would do anything to protect her, even if that meant his own demise in the process.

Y/N glanced over her shoulder, exhausted eyes falling upon the crowd of people pouring in from the elevator. Her team looked entirely worn out from the intense mission, their bodies hunched and feet dragging wherever they wandered. Clint caught her gaze, the smallest of smiles creeping onto his face. He raised his hand into the air, offering the girl a wave. Y/N waved back with pursed lips and glittering eyes, then turned back around to face the open.

It was always a miraculous sight—the city. In the morning it was buzzing with light and intensity. Sunlight bored down on the cracked streets, cars lulling through frustrating traffic, people honking at their neighbors. The hues were of red and gray variety, shades of beige and powder blue adorning the graffitied walls and painted freight trains. Time was consistent during the day. It was never ending. It went on forever, and so did the people living within it. They got up at the same time every morning and hustled to work, took their lunch break at the bodega or crammed in their office, then went home and repeated the same damn routine all over again the very next day.

And then there was the nighttime, when blackness ascended over the city, and the tangerine sun slipped beneath the horizon. At night the city came alive. It was unpredictable and adventurous. You never knew what the city would do when the lights went out in the sky. Overbearing neon shades illuminated the large, glowing signs of theaters and cinemas, hotels and twenty-four hour diners. The streets were clearer, still littered with cars full of tired adults, hoping to get home to their beds for a few hours of sleep before they had to awake early the following morning.

Y/N could see herself in the city at nighttime, waltzing into unprecedented territories with nothing but a high adrenaline and a desire to see beyond vibrancy of its core.

But it was the transition from day to night that really got her—the part of the day when the stars were hardly out and the sun still managed to remain a glowing orb of glistening orange light in the sky. The stars were distant, like they were gently dusted across a canvas of baby blue, powdered on by a paintbrush like a Monet. There was so much going on in this hour, but the transition made so much sense to her. The more she watched and scrutinized the switch, the more she understood how much night and day were alike. As quickly as time moved during this period, it slowed. Time stopped here. Right on the skyline, the moment always stretching out to form a thousand more.

"Hey," Peter's voice broke her from the impenetrable wall of thoughts towering in her head. "I uh, I brought you food."

Y/N turned to face her friend, ignited eyes falling onto the bag of Chick-Fil-A dangling by his leg. A soft chuckle emitted from her scratchy throat.

"Thanks," the girl whispered. She grabbed the bag from his hands and set it on the nearby table. "How's the team?"

"Worried about you," Peter replied honestly. "And I am too."

"I'm just trying to not think about it at the moment. I've been trying to clear my mind," Y/N sighed. "I kicked that guy's ass, didn't I? Stupid Axel fucking Klein. Lucky you came when you did. I would've managed to kill him someway."

Peter shook his head. "No, you wouldn't have."

She cocked her head, furrowing her brows. "Yeah, you're right, I wouldn't have. But I wish I could. I wish I could kill him." A pause followed. The tension between them was thick—thicker than it ever had been before. She could taste it on her tongue. "So, what? The team send you out here because they know I'm a softy for you?"

Peter shrugged. "I-I volunteered. Tony bought the food, but I . . . I wanted to see you. I needed to."

Y/N stared into his eyes for a moment. They were soft and gentle, glistening like fragments of crystals. He somehow reminded her of the soft strum of an acoustic guitar. She found herself reaching forward for him, wanting to touch him during a circumstance that wasn't as vile and as graphic as the last. She wanted to touch him when she wasn't just about to immerse herself into a dangerous mission. She wanted to touch him when they were alone together with the unpredictable, haphazard rosy aura of the city during night.

"Peter," she whispered. She loved his name so much. She loved saying it. She loved hearing it. She loved hearing Peter.

Her hand caressed his jaw, the pad of her thumb gently grazing across the irritated cut on his cheekbone like the leaf of a swaying plant. She heard him release a shallow breath, his eyes flickering between the fragile placement of her hand and the bandages looped tightly around her damaged wrists.

"I thought I was going to die tonight," Y/N drew her hand away, feeling colder. Peter felt the same way. Peter always felt the same way. "I thought I was going to die in the hands of that . . . psychopath. You should've see the look on his face when he caught me in the car with his hands all over me. He looked so smug, so—"

"His hands were what?" Peter interrupted, anger flaring in his stomach. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip, red pooling in his eyes. He hated the guy. He hated him with every fiber in his body, and he wished he'd done a lot more to him than punch him a mere few times. No, he should've throttled him. He should've made him suffer longer, just the same way he did to Y/N. He should've—

"Peter," Y/N could sense his rage. She reached out to touch his hand, hoping to soothe the whirlwind of impulsive thoughts plaguing his mind. "He didn't do anything else. Not anything like you're thinking. He just had to get close so he could sedate me."

"I'm sorry. I-I wish I could've done more, Y/N, I—"

Peter's heart was racing. It was driving him insane, he had to tell her that he loved her. He couldn't wait any longer. He couldn't keep holding off for the right time—there was never a right time in the world to tell someone that you loved them, at least not in his world. In his world, death followed like a shadow with every risky move you made. In his world, witches were real and there was a living, breathing one standing right in front of him. There was never a right time for anything when he was Spider-Man, and there was never a right time for anything when he was Peter Parker because time always seemed to fade more quickly than it came.

Was now a right time to tell her? On the balcony of a tower overlooking the prospering, stagnant city below, right after her run in with death at the hands of some lunatic? He didn't want to take advantage of her, and he didn't want to scare her away. He would have to wait another day. He'd have to wait for the sun come up, then go back down again. Another day, another time, until finally it was the right time. Until finally he no longer had to wait.

"Peter, what are you thinking?" Y/N questioned.

"I-I—" the words were fading from his tongue. It was never the right time. "I don't . . . know."

Y/N tilted her head, perplexed by Peter's odd behavior. It wasn't like the boy didn't normally act odd, but now he was acting strange. He wasn't looking at her like a crippled, wounded animal or a damsel in distress desperate for a strong rescuer. He was just looking. His eyes were glazing over, but she didn't know with what. Was he sad? Angry? Frustrated with her? Tears leaked from his melancholy brown irises, slipping down his flushed cheeks. They glimmered like scattered fragments of moonlights.

"Peter, what's wrong?" she asked, her tone urgent and thick with worry. Her hands quickly moved to grab his arms, grounding him, letting him know she was there with him—as she would always be.

She waited patiently for him to respond, his sniffles filling the air. Peter didn't know why he was crying; he felt like complete idiot for doing so, but he just couldn't stop himself. The tears kept falling, streaming down his skin until they dropped from the bottom of his chin onto the ground. All he had to do was just feel her touching him, and suddenly he was an emotional kid. He wasn't Spider-Man or an Avenger. He was just Peter Parker. And Peter Parker had lost so much that the mere thought of losing someone else so important to him—he couldn't bare it. Not on top of the countless years of repressed pain and emotional baggage still anchored deep within his roots. Then to come too close to losing Y/N tonight . . . It was all too much to handle.

"Hey, Pete. You're okay. We're okay," Y/N's voice was soft like silk. Her hands ran soothingly up and down the length of his arms, almost as if she was warming him up after a long snowy day. "Talk to me, Pete."

"I-I just—I almost lost you tonight," he professed, and the words began to tumble out at the same rate as his tears. "And when I saw you in there, I just couldn't stop thinking . . . about what I would do if you . . . I just couldn't stop thinking. And-and thinking and thinking. And then I knew right then and there that I would never let myself lose you ever because I need you, Y/N. I need you more than anything."

Y/N's face melted, her eyes shimmering at his trembling words. They fell so seamlessly from his lips. Her stomach churned, empathy burning bright within her core. She felt the same way. She felt the same way about Peter Parker as he did her, and she felt the same way yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. She always felt the same way. She always would.

"I need you too, Peter," Y/N assured him strongly.

She grabbed his face, pulling him down so she could press her lips firmly against his damp cheeks. She peppered them along his skin, electrifying him with every touch, anchoring him further and further towards the ground, onto the winding road leading towards the glamorous city buoyant with tranquil life. She held him tight, and she would never let him go. Not now, not ever.

"No, Y/N! You don't get it!" he sobbed, pulling away. "You don't understand why I need you!"

"Then just tell me! Peter, tell me. Why do you need me?" Y/N cried.

"I-I'm in love with you," he proclaimed, standing in a pool of his tears. "I'm in love with you, and I almost couldn't save you."

Y/N was rendered utterly and profoundly speechless by Peter Parker.

The nighttime is unpredictable.

"W-what happens when I can't save you anymore?" he whispered, like if he spoke those words they would magically come true. Almost like a spell.

Her forehead wrinkled, desperation contorted onto her features. She didn't really care about what the city would feel like during the nighttime anymore, not when the transition of day to night was still fresh in her bones. Not when Peter Parker was telling her he was in love with her. He wasn't infatuated. He was in love. And that felt like time wrapped up in a perfect little bow.

Y/N placed her palm against his chest, feeling the rapid pace of his beating heart. She ran her hand up the back of his neck, Peter's eyes shining with her every liquid-like movement. He let his lids drop, wet lashes gluing together. She closed her eyes, gently pushing his neck down for his lips to meet hers. Time stops here. Her lips ghosted over his, her breaths quick and hot. Falling in love with Peter felt so painless, but suddenly she felt like she was on fire. Everything felt too real, too raw. Love seemed to operate quite frequently in the gray area of life.

"But you did. You can't think about the 'what-if's, Peter. There's always going to be 'what-if's." She whispered against his mouth.

Y/N closed the gap between their lips, the kiss soft and slow, her breath hitching dead in her throat. She couldn't grasp a hold on any of her thoughts as Peter gently reciprocated the kiss. She no longer felt any pain. She should've told Peter she loved him long before tonight. She should've told him she loved him before they left for the mission. She should've, but it just didn't feel like the right time. When did it ever feel like the right time? Time was more unpredictable than the city.

The kiss grew deeper, Peter's hand trailing up her body to hold her face delicately his calloused palm. He could feel her hands shaking like leaves on the back of his neck, her pants growing hasty as their lips entwined and tangled together. He could taste her so clearly now—something minty and reminiscent of cherries. It soon became his favorite flavor.

She pulled away, eyes still closed. She savored the moment for all of its worth. "Peter . . ." swift drawls of breath, "I love you too."

Relief and happiness fell from his lips in the form of unearthly laughter. A smile brighter than any sun or any hue covered both their faces before their lips collided once again. Peter's hands gently stroked down the length of her hair, taming the frizzy strands and smoothening the tousled pieces. Fits of laughter were muffled by the showering of intimate, fervent kisses. Peter basked blissfully in her ethereal beauty and slipped into a state of tranquility, knowing for certain that he did save Y/N, and she was here in front of him. Now. And it was the right time. He dropped his hands to her waist, allowing her to caress his angular jaw, her thumbs pressing affectionately into his cheekbones. The tears once wet on his face dried beneath the gasps of hot breath, and everything in the world seemed to succumb to the tenderness of their love for each other.

And even the city, as rambunctious as it was during the day, and as somberly alive as it was in the dead of night, seemed to sink into the earth, leaving time behind. Because when there was no time, there was no need to wait for the right moment. Not when the right moment could be every single one in a thousand.

Clint found himself walking across the living room at such a prime time. Somehow, he was always the one to walk in on Peter and Y/N, but this time, he did not interfere. He merely looked for a moment with a smile tugging at his lips, then proceeded towards the kitchen to fix himself a cup of coffee.

Tony soon joined him, hoping to find some leftover pizza crammed in the refrigerator. After all, he was going to be up all night—might as well not work on an empty stomach.

At first, he walked straight past the window, eyes casually glazing over the two figures passionately kissing on the balcony behind the sliding glass doors. As soon as the man hit the fridge, he had to backtrack, mentally rewinding what he actually saw. He relapsed his steps, Clint nonchalantly sipping on his mug, checking to see if the sugar-cream ratio sufficed.

"What?" That was the only word Tony could seem to coherently speak for the moment. He tilted his head to the side, pinching his eyes shut before reopening them again. Definitely not dreaming. "A-are they—?"

"Yep," Clint replied, pleased with his hot drink. He walked around the counter to join Tony staring at the balcony from the island.

"On the—?"

"Yep."

"Should I—?"

"Nope."

"Gross."

MASTERLIST.

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[yomariejuana]

White Woman

Define “racism” in your own words. I think there’s two broad types (which can be expanded on infinitely). Systemic and personal. Systemic or institutional racism would be an oppressive system embedded in social and political institutions. Reflected in disparities in wealth, education, occupational opportunities, treatment by police, treatment in hospitals, access to resources, food deserts, etc. This type or racism can only be implemented by a social class in a position of social or political power. Ex) a predominately white government giving a predominately white neighborhood more funding than a historically redlined neighborhood. A white person cannot and does not experience institutional racism in America (if anywhere). Personal or social racism would be the outright hatred, distaste or disrespect of another race no matter who it is and who you are. I think implicit racism would also lay here, when a person is so desensitized to their own beliefs they are implying racism without knowing or understanding it. I believe people can be ignorant to their own racism. I also do believe a white person can experience racism (only on a social/personal level), I also believe colorism exists within groups and that internal racism within one group can exist. If you think less of someone on sight, without even knowing them, because of what you see in front of you, it might be racism.

* Describe a time when you felt discriminated against. Im half Jewish and went to a predominantly white/ Italian high school on Long Island. My mother herself had a girl walk up to her on the first day of school and call her w ‘kike’ right in her face (that’s a term nazis would call Jews...) I refer to Jewish people as the “silent minority” because while we’re “white” we experience an internal type of racism. We’re not accepted fully by our “race” and that can be hard to identify, especially as a child. I remember hiding that I was Jewish bc I was led to believe by my peers that it was shameful. Jews were cheap and annoying and deceitful.. etc. When I was in 6th grade I saw texts from a boy I liked who went on a racially charged rant about me ending it with“holy Jew”. (Crussshed me omg). Girls used to tell me I was a poor Jew bc I had holes in my socks in gym class. To this day, “Jew” is still thrown around by other ethnicities disrespectfully. (Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity, yes) That was my experience. As a woman in general, i couldn’t get a job at a pizza restaurant in h.s because “they only hired boys” *rolls eyes*.  I also currently do the same job as an older male counterpart and he makes more than me :))))) and has a better title. WE DO THE SAME EXACT JOB. 

* Do you “see” color? Explain. Yes. To say you don’t see color invalidates the fact that people of various skin tones, races and ethnicities have different experiences in society. I see color because I recognize the gaps in the system that reflect this. I see color because my brother is not gonna get murdered in the street while on a run in a nice neighborhood and I know why. 

* What steps are you taking/could you take to disempower the systemic oppression you encounter in everyday life. I’m sure we could all be doing more. First and foremost I ride mostly for women, kids and anyone who is vulnerable. Through verbal encouragement and support, and by physically showing up and displaying strength. I used to volunteer as a child advocate for child migrants caught up in the system and forced into group homes on li. My father is a retired police officer and we’ve had quite a few conversations about police brutality and I’ve gotten him to open up and understand that ppl don’t think all cops are bad and abusive, it’s good cops protecting the bad cops that is creating a greater issue. The issue doesn’t need to be met with defense it needs to be met with dialogue for a solution. Cops that use excessive force need to be held accountable and punished. The issue deserves recognition. I call out racism on site whether it be from a friend, a family member or a bf (right before we break the fuck up, never that tho) I also don’t tolerate “selective racism” most recently dealing specifically with some reactions to Coronavirus originating in China. I’m not afraid to open my mouth against sheer stupidity and ignorance. I’ve gotten my car keyed for it. I also know when it’s not my bag, when it’s needed to step back and let someone else speak, when to stand behind someone in support, but not in the way. Sometimes it’s not your turn to talk.