#also do you KNOW WHAT HE PAID FOR THOSE TICKETS

[anthrofreshtodeath]

On the one hand I… am a stodgy old lady when it comes to people who write about sports and get it wrong. I know that in the end it doesn’t really matter and I’m like one of three people who care. I accept this about myself. But on the other hand, like… you don’t have to. Especially if your writing makes you money. You don’t *have* to do it 😭

[russellsppttemplates]

Are you staying? (Logan Sargeant)

Before the Miami GP, you fly over to spend some days with your boyfriend's family, and it turns out that you can charm more than one Sargeant

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first thing I've ever written for Logan and I'm excited and nervous to see how it goes! Nothing against other careers, but I'm a sucker for the stereotypical smart job and paired up with the friends to lovers trope, I made this! I hope it's good for my first piece for him! Also, I'm aware that Leo hasn't been in the paddock for what I can assume obvious safety reasons, but I thought of this and didn't want to leave it behind 🫣

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: mentions a previous injury

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Is this your list, babe?", Logan said as he opened the document on his iPad after you sent it to him, reading a checklist of all the things you needed to pack last minute after he said he wanted to help you.

"Yes - actually, can you help me with it, please?", you asked as you packed your usual medication, "I already have my meds in the little bag and my chargers too - you can check those off".

"Okay, done", he offered as he crossed them with the pen, "next, we have documents - passport, I'm the one with the tickets and they're in my phone as well, and Travel insurance? Since when do you do Travel insurance?", Logan wondered as you packed the documents into your bag.

"Since I'm going to motherland of paid healthcare - I don't usually get sick, but you never know! Just to my luck I could feel some pain and before I know it, I'll be knee deep into debt that no amount of working could help with! I'm just about keeping university fees covered, I can't have anymore on me", you offered as you looked at the camera. Even though the timezone was different, Logan still FaceTimed you, tucked in his bed while he saw the sunshine through the window behind you

"If it comes to that, which I hope it won't because I like you all in one piece, I would cover i-", Logan added as you shook your head.

"Let's all hope that I go and come back with pristine health and that this was just me being my forewarned self", you smiled and crossed your fingers, "what's next?", you wondered as you walked around your bedroom, looking for anything that could stand out.

You met Logan, out of all places, in the pool you had been swimming in your whole life. You never wanted to compete - for you, swimming was a way to forget about the day for a couple of hours and to ensure you were active. A couple of years ago, this boy walked inside, leaving his flip-flops on the side next to yours and he seemed to be doing some conditioning work.

Later, you found out he had picked up a muscle injury and he was there with his physiotherapist at the same time you went everyday, and by the time his treatment was over, you became good friends and it bloomed from there.

A party before his first season in Formula One was the last straw when he wasn't the only guy there who noticed how beautiful you looked. It seemed that all of the single drivers had their eyes on you, both from the novelty of your presence in the function and from the confidence you exuded. His protective side came forward, and as he was driving you back home, he didn't let you leave his place until he confessed his feelings. As it turned out, you felt the same.

"And last, but not least, lip balm", your boyfriend said in a overly exaggerated accent.

"And for that, you don't get to use this anymore!", you put the small tube on the small bag, zipping it and finding a place for it before you stuck your tongue out at him.

"That's alright - I'll just kiss you after you put it on", he smirked.

"Like that is any different from what you do now", you grumbled, closing your backpack and patting it, "I'm all ready!", you smiled.

Even though the original plan was for Logan to fly to England and then fly with you to his home country, your university practical assignments had been changed to that week and there was no way you could swap, let alone miss them. You didn't want your boyfriend to spend less time with his family because of you, so you ended up deciding that you would fly over on your own and meet him there as soon as you could.

"I miss you, I can't wait to kiss your beautiful face", he smiled.

"I miss you too, but soon enough handsome!", you said as you looked at your watch, "the train leaves later today, but I heard there was a lot of traffic so I think I'm going now", you muttered, not wanting to end the call yet but having to do it for practical reasons. Besides, Logan needed to sleep and you were sure if you didn't end the call, he would pull an all nighter.

"Don't be late, gorgeous girl - I'll dream about meeting you when you get here", Logan charmed.

"See you later, Logie! Have a good sleep!", you beamed, "don't forget to put your phone on silent because I'll text you the flight updates! I love you!".

"I will! I love you too - have a safe flight!", he smiled before his face disappeared on your screen.

Making sure everything that needed to be off was turned off and on its right place, you closed and locked the door behind you before starting your journey.

Once you had done the security checks at the airport and found your gate, the nerves on your tummy settled in. It wasn't the first time you had to fly on your own and you knew well enough where they stemmed from. You had briefly met Logan's parents a couple of times before since they travelled for some of the races, but spending time with them in their family home carried a different weight to it.

Luckily, there weren't many setbacks and the flight actually landed a couple of minutes before schedule, making you text Logan that you had already landed so he could sort the situation out.

Spotting him wasn't too hard once you saw your name on a lavender coloured cardboard and your boyfriend holding it.

"I missed you loads", he whispered on your ear, kissing under it and hugging you tight.

"I missed you too", you answered back, letting him squeeze you one last time before grabbing the cardboard, "You did this for me?", you beamed.

"Yes, one of my cousins was over yesterday and she gave me the idea to put the glitter on there", he nodded to the glittery letters.

"Yes, I definitely noticed that wasn't you", you giggled, pushing your suitcase along and to the parking lot.

"Mom wanted to come and get you, but she put in her head that the house had to be spotless, so she stayed back, and I think my dad went out to get an order my mum made for a bread she remembered you liked and she wanted you to have it", he stated, unlocking the car and popping the trunk open.

"They're going what? I don't need any special treatment, Logan, - I don't want them to think I want princess treatment!", you argued, holding onto your things, "my Goodness, your parents think I'm a snob", you groaned.

"No, they don't! They just wanted to make sure you feel comfortable and at home!", Logan offered, trying to get your backpack.

"I could sleep on the floor and be happy about it!", you grumbled before you let him get the bag.

"If you really want that, that's fine, but my bed is quite good to be fair", he smirked before you swatted his chest, helping him with the suitcase next.

"Stop making jokes, I don't want your family to think-", Logan interrupted by placing his lips on yours.

"Stop talking nonsense, my parents are excited to have you here", he spoke.

It wasn't a lie. All of his family was excited and curious to finally meet the girl that captured Logan's heart. He knew they could be a handful, and he had certainly warned you considered you came from a small family giving that your parents were only children - it wasn't so much that he thought you wouldn't feel okay, but it would definitely be a little more crowded that you were used to.

On the other side, his family's opinion mattered to him and he was nervous of what they could say. Not because of you and the person you were - he was sure you were going to be just fine, but it wouldn't be the first time that his family's opinion swayed someone the other way. His parents had met your briefly before and now you were being introduced to everyone else. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone else that wanted to tag along and nitpick at you. Everyone's eyes would be on you, and so would their opinions.

"I'm choosing to believe you", you smiled, getting inside the car and watching Logan do the same.

"Did you have a good flight?", he asked as he reversed out of the space, "a lady behind me was saying that her daughter had a turbulent flight".

"It was fine, but I don't really know - I slept on the last couple of hours. Didn't think I had it in me", you tsked, "but the seat was quite comfy and there wasn't anyone in the middle seat, so me and the guy that was on the row sort of took over it and had a silent agreement to share it".

The drive to his parents' house was quick, Logan pointing to all of the spots that carried memories and special moments.

"That's my mom and my dad is also arriving behind us", he looked at his rear view mirror to check if his father had space to park.

"Hello! Welcome welcome, Y/N!", Daniel smiled and greeted you with a hug as soon as you stepped out of the car.

"Hi! Thank you for taking me in for these couple of days", you giggled.

"Nonsense! We're glad you could join us after all - did you do well in your examinations?".

"Dad!", Logan warned slightly, not wanting you to feel ambushed about it.

"They went well, yes! There's only one mark left and it should come out one of these days", you smiled, walking up to greet Logan's mother at the door.

"Hey sweetie! How have you been?", Madelyn asked, pulling you in for a tight hug.

"Hello! I've been good, and you? I hope it wasn't too much trouble having me here", you told her.

"Oh, no, don't worry! You're Logan's girlfriend, you could never be too much trouble", she offered, letting you in, "How was your flight?".

"It was good", you added, "there wasn't too much trouble with customs either, but it was quite tiring for me, I've never done such a long flight", you chuckled.

"When we got back to Silverstone, I had to take three days to recover from it! And I felt so dirty that I had to shower once we got home", she giggled.

"I might actually do that, if you don't mind - my whole body just feels icky", you admitted, knowing you had just arrived and while it maybe wasn't the way to go, it was something you wanted to do.

"Of course, of course! Logan will help you - I left the towels on your bed", she patted her son's back before he headed up the stairs as you trailed behind after excusing yourself.

You headed straight for the shower after getting your toiletry bag from the suitcase, kissing Logan's lips quickly before. When you exited the ensuite bathroom, Logan was doing his hair in the mirror.

"Don't you look handsome?", you whispered, kissing his cheek, "I must say, I'm a big fan of this longer hair", you mused.

"Thank you, love", he smiled, "are you feeling good enough to go out or do you want to stay at home?", he asked.

"I'm good - that shower really helped", you offered, "let me just get ready and then we can go - are your parents joining us?", you wondered.

"I'll have to ask, but I'm assuming they are - they made reservations for us for lunch too", he let you know.

"Okay, I'll just change quickly and sort my hair out", you kissed his cheek before looking for an outfit on your suitcase.

As soon as you were ready, you headed back downstairs so you could leave the house, Logan's mother insisting that you rode in the passenger seat next to your boyfriend, "it's not everyday we get to be driven around town", she snickered.

They pointed out at different houses of family members you would soon meet along with some friends and spots like their workplaces and favourite shops.

After lunch, Logan drove to his uncle's house, telling you about the little girl who inspired the welcoming cardboard he picked you up from the airport with, "she loves animals too, so be prepared to be ambushed with questions and a show of her stuffed toys", your boyfriend chuckled.

"It's true, Y/N! She has built her own collection and it's quite impressive!", Madelyn added.

The house was similar to Logan's parents', your boyfriend parking the car safely before you got out.

"Welcome Y/N!", an older woman said, "we've been waiting to meet you!", she smiled.

"That's my aunt, my uncle and that's my great aunt - she's my grandmother's sister", Logan said before you greeted them warmly, hearing quick footsteps on the corridor, "and that should be Millie".

A little girl no older than three years old ran up to Logan, hugging his legs and hiding behind them, "why don't you say hello to Y/N, honey?", her mother encouraged her.

Slowly, she peeled herself from the driver's legs, taking a look at you.

You crouched down so you would be in the same level, "hi Millie", you tried.

"How do you know my name?", she asked.

"Logan told me all about you - I loved the glitter you used for my name of the sign he took to get me from the plane", you smiled.

"I have more, do you want to see them, Y/N?", she beamed, stretching out her arm for you to take her hand.

"Go go, Y/N! I'll get some snacks out for us and then you can come down if you want something - we want to have a chat to get to know the girl our nephew's speaks so fondly of!", Logan's uncle winked before Millie pulled you.

Her room was decorated in a jungle theme, animal decals decorating the walls, "do you want to draw with me? Momma got me these with glue so it doesn't get messy", she explained before pulling a chair for herself, "Oh, I don't have one for you, I'm sorry".

"That's alright, love - I'll just sit on the floor", you smiled, kneeling down and getting comfortable.

Millie was an only child and from what Logan told you, there weren't many girls in the family, so she was taking full advantage of having some girly time with you.

"Millie! Poor Y/N has been here for nearly two hours!", Madelyn called for you from the door.

"It hasn't been that long, has it?", you wondered, feeling guilty to have spent that long away from them, "I didn't even notice!".

"Don't worry, honey! It's all good, we were just wondering if you two wanted to eat something", she procured.

"We'll go in a bit, auntie Madelyn! Y/N's nails are not dry yet!", Millie stated, "and I need to ask her a couple more questions about giraffes - did you know they're Y/N's favourite animal? She knows a lot about them!".

"Okay, then! Your momma has some sandwiches for you and little cakes for when you want to come down and join us - no pressure, Y/N, but she might keep you here forever now that she knows you like animals too", your boyfriend's mother squeezed your shoulder.

"Is everything alright?", Logan asked as he watched his mother get back to the living room on her own.

"Millie is holding Y/N hostage, but I think they'll be down here soon!", Madelyn offered, "I think she's in love with her".

"Looks like you've got some competition, man", Daniel told his son.

"She looked to be having a good time - she's such a sweet girl", his aunt said.

"She helps babysitting some kids, and there are not a lot of little ones in her family, and I'm sure Millie has picked her brain about her studies", Logan offered, "she's studying to be a vet".

"She's very lovely", Madelyn said spontaneously, "You would be a fool if you let her slip through your fingers. She's smart, caring, loving - I can tell from the way you look at her", she offered.

She had always been honest with him and she was known for not leaving words unsaid, but to do so in such a spontaneous and open way was surprising to Logan.

"And Millie loves her, and you know how much she hates new people - she has her seal of approval", she smiled before everyone heard giggles approaching.

"We were so entertained and having so much fun that I didn't even notice the time passing by", you apoligised as you sat down next to Logan on the sofa, Millie sitting by the coffee table and munching on the snacks.

"You have some glitter here, babe", Logan pointed out, shaking some of the yellow flakes from your eyebrow.

"I'm a bright star, of course I have it", you joked, giving him a big smile before Millie pulled on your pants' leg.

"Y/N, these are my favourite - momma and I baked them!", she offered you a small biscuit, "these bits here that look like giraffe spots are cinnamon!", the little girl smiled.

"Thank you, Millie", you accepted, taking a bit out of them and humming, "they're very very good!".

"Logan, did Y/N also teach you how to tell apart the different giraffe species?", Millie asked her cousin, choosing to sit on his thighs.

"I think she has, yes - the star shaped ones are the giraffa giraffa, right? And there's the one with 'camel' in the name because of a hump on the neck", Logan offered.

"That's right, Logan!", the little girl cheered as she drank some of the juice her mother offered in her cup.

Conversation flowed between you, his family members asking you questions about you so they could get to know you without delving into matters that you deemed too personal, which you were grateful for, and overall it was just a nice chat.

"Logan used to go around with this cap he had signed by some of the drivers - you must have been what? 10 maybe? I still remember the fight I had with him because he wanted to shower with it", his aunt laughed after clapping her hands once, "he was so adamant that the ink wouldn't budge that I had to show him that it would vanish and then he let me take it away from him".

You were loving all the childhood stories, holding Logan's hand and laughing with them, kissing his cheek once the rest of the group got up to help his aunt in the kitchen once they suggested that you stay over for dinner.

"I was a dorky kid, what can I say?", your boyfriend smiled as blush erupted on his cheeks.

"Shut up, your stories are the cutest!", you giggled, "way better than my 'I wanted to prove I was as tall as my older cousins so I fell in the pool' and 'I cut my own hair because my mum was busy with work and I thought I was helping her' stories", you argued.

"Depends on how you look at them, really", he smiled, stealing a kiss from your lips before Millie came back.

"Y/N, are you staying here with auntie Madelyn and uncle Daniel after Logan leaves?", she asked.

"Do you want me to leave, Millie?", Logan asked, feigning offense with his hand on his chest.

"No, silly - but I know you travel for work, so maybe Y/N could stay here!", she explained.

"I can't, Millie, I have school back home", you offered, noticing her shoulders fall.

"I like having you here, I like you", she muttered.

"I like you too a lot, Millie - how about we play as much as we can while I'm here, hm? You can pick my brain about anything you want, not just giraffes! Do you like tigers? Or cows?", you suggested, diverting the attention to something else.

"Tigers and cows? That's a weird combination", Logan quirked an eyebrow, "my practical exam was about cows and I was studying tigers before I left", you shrugged your shoulders.

.

"You guys can stay here whilst I do the debrief", Logan guided you inside the hospitality, letting you know where everything was in case you needed it.

You, Daniel and Madelyn engaged in conversation, hearing a couple of more stories from Logan's childhood and a few of your own stories from back home.

"It's my mum, sorry, if you'll excuse me", you said before heading outside since the signal was better there.

Once you finished your call to update your parents on how things were going there and here, you felt fabric run over your sandals, looking down to see a small dachshund puppy.

"Hey there, little one", you bent down to pet him, "you look like you're lost, hm? Who do you belong to?", you mused, rubbing his belly once he flopped down.

Behind you, you could hear Alex's and Logan's voice approaching and then you spotted Lily too.

"Hey, Y/N!", she waved, "Since when do you and Logan have a puppy? It's so cute!", she beamed.

"Hi! We don't, I just found him, or he found me I guess", you mumbled.

"This looks like Charles' dog, doesn't he?", she mused again.

"Have you two seen a small dachshund- Oh! Tell Charles he's here!", Logan said as he spotted the dog on your lap while Alex began calling the monégasque driver.

"He's here, Charles!", your boyfriend called once he spotted the Ferrari driver, "Animals just find their way to her, I guess", he joked as he watched you play with the dachshund puppy.

"Look at your puppy teeth - do you know what this one is called? I know, Leo! I go to university so I can treat little ones like you, but also the big ones! Have you met big dogs too?", you mused, all too happy with the puppy who seemed to be happy at the attention he was getting.

Charles approached you as you got up, carrying the puppy and giving him to him, "Oh no, Leo - did you run away from your parents?", you asked the dog, "now, that's not something nice to do, is it? They were probably worried about you, little guy!", you said before letting him go back to Charles.

"Thank you! He seems to have liked you", he pointed out, holding Leo in his arms.

"He just came in here and started playing with my shoelaces", you smiled.

"Leo does that a lot - last week, he found my sandals and he was a puppy on a mission running away from me with them!", Alexandra chuckled.

By the time the sprint race was happening, you sat in the garage and watched the whole race, waiting to see about the penalties they were handing out, seeing Logan ended up with P10.

"That was a good run, though, wasn't it?", you asked your boyfriend once he was able to be with you, "some learning curves for tomorrow at least".

"The balance was a bit off, but we'll look into it", he stated, kissing your forehead before also greeting his parents.

"I'm going to the bathroom", you excused yourself.

After discussing the sprint, his parents took the opportunity that you weren't there to talk to Logan about you.

"She loves you a lot, I can tell - I just hope we haven't been too much for her, this whole things is too much as it is", she gestured to the whole paddock and figuratively to the life her son led.

"The whole media attention definitely isn't her favourite thing, but she's been doing well, we speak about it every now and again to check and make sure we're both well with all of it. She's very private and her friends and family also help a lot with arranging stuff and being careful with those sorts of things", Logan offered.

"She's an incredible young woman, and you two are great together", Daniel complemented his wife's opinion.

All doubts of whether it had been right or not to bring you home for a few days washed away as Logan heard his parents talk about you like you were one of their own, welcoming you into their family so seamlessly and listing and pointing out all of the things that attracted Logan to you in the first place. You fit right in with his family and Logan couldn't be prouder of that.

[stylespresleyhearted]

THE MAJOR’S WIFE

warnings: mentions of miscarriage, adultery, nsfw, marital problems, oral (m! receiving), spanking, being turned on even when your brain isn’t in it, bucky in 1x04, bucky married pre-war, slight age gap bc reader can come off slightly immature (i think?) angst, historical inaccuracies, new mediocre writer be nice

summary: John Egan gets to know his wife again

word count: 9.7k

notes: i’m not sure where this came from i wrote it all today and got no part of my research paper done. there’s really no point to it and also irl john egan was actually really close to his mother so i emphasized that here. he wrote to her so much. no disrespect to any of the real people, this is based on the show/show timeline as well.

Lila gets the call on the 2nd of October and her dreams come true.

Not entirely, no. The real dream would be having him home safe and the tragic war being over but she knows how fortunate she is to have the next best thing happen. Her husband’s been granted a few days leave and Colonel Harding believed it would do Major Egan some good to have his sweet, young wife join him during those days overseas. For the good of John’s mental health the Colonel or the President - or whoever was in charge, Lila really had no idea - had agreed to pay for her ticket and their hotel. There was only one thing they asked for in return and although it wasn’t explicitly said, Lila caught their drift: sort your husband out.

Lila knows it would do her no good to sit and wonder how horribly John must be doing in order for them to declare an all expenses paid trip for his spouse. All she does is worry for him anyhow so she forces herself to focus on the one good thing of the entire ordeal - she’s going to see her man.

There’d been letters, although not as many as she liked and she tried not to let it show how it hurt as every other wife received more than one letter at a time. Her John wasn’t the sort, she knew that when she married him. He was the kind of person who needed endless skies and land to maintain his sense of stability. Having him cooped up would do him no good and she partly wondered how much of what he was struggling with was the trauma he witnessed in the air and how much of it was feeling caged on base. At least his plane, good ol’ Mugwump (he wrote about her quite often) offered him the opportunity to head anywhere he wanted.

The only person he wrote consistently and readily to was his mother. It was rare if a week went by and she received no letter. During these instances it was more times than not an issue with the postal service.

Be that as it may, Lila knew who she married and it made her love him no less so she tried not to let it get to her. His mother was a saint. Firm and strong and loving all the same. Lila would have never survived sending John off if his mother wasn’t who and how she was. She held Lila at night when her cries woke her and she let Lila sleep in his old childhood bed. She kept food on their table and ensured everyone got their work done through the worry.

When John first left and Lila was sick to her stomach and vomiting multiple times of the day it was his mother who consoled her through the night when her sheets turned a crimson red and any ideals of having their baby through the war was lost.

Frances Egan was the glue holding them together. All of them, even her son who was an entire ocean way - so no. Lila would not be angry that she was John’s preferred pen-pal.

“You fix him right up,” Mama Egan had said in lieu of goodbye when leaving her at the airport, “you give him the loving he needs as his wife and the smacks he needs from me to get on the straight and narrow before sending him off to continue saving the world. You do it for him, not for any of them war bastards. You hear me?”

All Lila could do was nod. Dropping her bags on the floor and clutching her pseudo mother tightly. She was excited as she was frightened.

They had only gotten two months together before he had been pulled away. She didn’t want to complain, loads of women had gotten less time at all while others had only ever been left with the promise.

But her two months as Mrs. Egan? They’d been a dream. Her man was a romancer. He hadn’t hesitated in introducing her as the newly (and younger) Mrs. Egan, always resulting in an arm slap from his mother, he held open doors and he never stopped courting her; however she thinks the best times were when he was teaching her how to act married.

In their bed, at a home he had spent a year building for them. Using any extra pennies he had to pay off younger boys to help him hurry it along. Giving her the wrap-around porch she had always envisioned.

He showed her how to kiss. How to undress him. He had laid her underneath him, using his large frame to cover her completely, protecting her from the cold as he threw the sheets off them and making her feel tiny compared to him. She had never felt safer.

It had hurt the first time but he had held her through it. Never allowing any inches of space between their bodies; as if telling her they were in it together. She’d always known he was large, everything about him was large in general, but she never thought how much it would hurt to have all of him fit inside her. Lila hadn't wanted to disappoint him so she tried to muffle her tears and whimpers but he had swallowed her cries and gone slow, soft.

“If this is it, it’ll be enough,” he had promised, only about half way inside her and wiping away her tears with his thumbs. As a thank you she had taken that calloused thumb into her mouth and sucked. He allowed her; hiding his face in her neck and pressing wet kisses along there.

And for the first few times that had been it. She couldn’t take all of him and his thrusts couldn’t get too deep so he would only slip inside until her tight hole resisted and pulsed and he’d hump against that spot until reaching his pleasure.

“Do other girls take all of it?” She had asked a couple days later, trying to wrap her head around it.

She was no idiot. John Egan was no virgin.

“Yes.” Lila could always count on him to be honest. At least there was that. Meanwhile she couldn’t even fully pleasure him. She was failing as a wife. “Hey,” he lay facing her and she lay on her back. He tapped her cheek until she turned her face. “You’re my wife. That’s what makes this feel better.”

And she had beamed at his reassurance even though she didn’t feel much better. She knew John would never push her, and he couldn’t stand to see her cry, so if she ever wanted to learn to be a good wife she would have to take it upon herself.

So that’s what she did.

He was always on top and she was always on her back. That’s the first thing she had to change. From her understanding of it, from her talks with friends that always ended in giggles and blushing cheeks and from what she learned from John, it could be done in many different ways.

“I prefer to be in charge,” her school friend, Linda, had admitted to her. “Not like that -” she clarified, cheeks pink, “Just - if I’m gonna take it, I’d rather do it at my pace. Be on top. Some husbands are good like that. They’ll allow it.”

And knowing her husband wasn’t just good, he was great, she knew he would hold no qualms about it. The next time they lay in bed kissing it was easy to turn him over and straddle him. Move her wetness against his belly to let him know there was still more she just needed him to accept it.

Except he thought she was asking him to do it so he flipped her on her back again. And without breaking their kiss, she turned him over again.

It was more like they were wrestling.

Lila pulls away from his mouth, reluctantly, noticing his lips were wet and red and swollen and wondering if hers were much the same. They had been kissing for so long her mouth felt raw.

She loved it.

Straddling him, she reached behind her, feeling him standing straight and hard against her backside in between her cheeks. Sticky.

He gasped, bucking into her fist with a loud, guttural groan. It was so manly she rocked against his stomach again in need.

“Fuck, baby,” he grunted, “what’re you doing?”

“I want to try it like this,” she breathed, leaning over to whisper in his mouth, her tiny hand still wrapped around him and lining her up to her hole. “I want it all.” Lila clarified.

And John allowed it, like she knew he would. Let her take control and go at her pace. Let her swivel her hips on the way down to help with the tightness of being stretched so wide and thick.

Nothing but curses and promises of love leaving his lips. Gasping mine, mine, mine and my perfect fucking wife and I’m gonna fuck you forever.

He felt large inside of her, like if she was being split in two but it felt so good as the tip of him repeatedly hit a spongy part inside that had her coming with no contact to her clit for the first time.

She was beautiful, red splotches appearing on her body from the heat of their love-making, her hair tangled in his fists, her mouth falling open as she threw her head back - all of it was too much. He was flipping her over and pounding into her trying to chase his peak and a second one from her, their headboard banging against the wall in rhythm with his thrusts.

Things changed from then on. Sexually, that is. Becoming aware of how badly she needed to feel like she was pleasing him, John was not above using it against her. Like letting him lick at her.

“Good wives allow their husbands everything,” he would say, lips wide in a smile and eyes bright at the prospect of getting his way but Lila always knew the choice was really hers. He would respect what she wanted.

He was just too damn addicting. She couldn’t stand to tell him no.

His favorite times were when she allowed him to sit her over his face and let him feast. It drowned the outside world for him and he kept at it even after she had reached multiple orgasms and was pulling on his hair and the only thing keeping her up was his forearms locking around her thighs.

Her favorite was when he allowed her to taste him at the same time he was licking her. It was a tie between those times and when he held her down until all of him was in her mouth and she was spluttering, choking, gagging. Knowing she made a filthy vision and he adored it did something to her.

Now she was in London, closer to him than she had been in years, and all their intimacies were within reach. She could almost taste him, feel him petting back her hair and settling a hand at the low of her back. She still remembers the smell of his after shave and sweat, how he’d come into the kitchen asking for some of her homemade lemonade to help with the heat.

Jack Kidd was tasked with picking up Mrs. Egan from the airport and having her arrive at base with him. She remembers meeting him a couple of times before John shipped out early. Originally she was meant to wait for John at their hotel but there had been an issue when planning her flight and she arrived sooner than intended.

“Ma’am,” he greeted, placing a friendly kiss on her cheeks and taking her bags from her. “Bucky’s gonna be happy as hell to see your face.”

The tone in his voice - relief? alleviation? - had some of her happy wife's facade crumbling. How badly was her Johnny hurting that everyone was looking at her at his only chance to remain sane or alive?

Stop it. Maybe everyone’s just aware Johnny misses you. You’re his wife.

“Not as happy as me, I wager,” she returned with a smile. “I’m glad to see you’re doing okay, Jack. Glad to see you still kicking.”

His shrug didn’t soothe her worry but she saw him try to mask it with a smile.

“All we boys can do is pray.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, gathering his attention. “You boys have got the prayers of our entire country protecting you.”

Jack simply nodded in response.

For the most part the ride to base was quiet. Her bags would be kept in the trunk until her and John were ready to drive out to London in a couple of hours and until then, she’d be his surprise at the officer’s club. Silver Wings, Jack called it. Where all the boys gathered and had drinks and celebrated accomplishments. And where some chose to mourn, too.

Her stomach was turning as she neared the hut, following Jack’s footsteps. There was so much that could go wrong and although this was meant to be a surprise, the U.S Army showing their gratitude towards a brave Major, she suddenly wished she would have called John and told him. She wished he knew so that she wouldn’t have to walk in feeling alone and unwanted.

Not that Lila thought John would turn her away, she simply wanted to have him hold her hand as she walked through the threshold.

“Stick close by,” Jack murmured, being respectful of where he touched her before deciding to lead her by her shoulder. “It gets crowded but I’ll take ya to him.”

As she walked through different groups, she felt the offending eyes of men and women alike. Wondering who she was. With a pang in her heart she realized she had met John’s squadrons before but all these crews were new. The boys she met, most of them at least from what she could tell, hadn’t made it. John never wrote about who passed away (except to inform her of Curt) ; most of their letters were him expressing his love and how he missed her so and asking what she got up to.

Having walked around the roundabout bar in the center of the room, her stomach in knots and fingers tangled in front of her - she caught sight of her husband smack middle in the dance floor. Pressed against a beautiful brunette.

Lila caught sight of him before even Jack did. That’s how connected she was to her husband. Jack whistled from beside her to gain Gale’s attention who was resting against the bar holding his signature ginger ale, also watching John Egan chat up the woman he was swaying with with something like disapproval in his eyes.

His large hands were occupying most of the space of her waist, keeping her body tethered to his as she laughed.

“Lila,” he gasped, eyes wide. He was smart enough to not turn and look at his buddy. To act as if nothing was amiss and she expected nothing less from Gale Cleven, “damn it all to hell. You’re a sight for sore eyes, Mrs. Egan.”

Because he was close to John, he didn’t hesitate in wrapping her up in a tight hug and pressing a kiss to her tinted cheeks. He knew John wouldn’t mind.

When he pulled back she patted his chubby cheek in return, “You still shame the rest of us with your good looks, Gale,” she laughed. “I’ll let Marge know when I see her next.”

Lila also knew she would share with Marge that while Gale was being loyal, standing off to the side her husband was exchanging oxygen with a woman on the dance floor.

His cheeks tinted at the mention of his girl. Buck and Bucky were both aware Lila and Marge wrote to one another and visited each other whenever time made it possible.

“Colonel Harding said Major Egan was in need of something from home,” she said, studying his reaction to see what she could read but Gale had always been aloof, cold. He wasn’t close to her like he was with Marge and John.

Gale thought back to a few moments earlier when John had disrespected their Colonel and all his actions before that too - disrespecting superiors, drinking more consistently, becoming angry - hopelessness in his eyes.

“He’s in need of you Lila,” Gale clarified and it wasn’t lost on either one of them that he they were referring to was currently on the floor wooing another woman.

“Holy shit! It’s Mrs. Egan!” Hambone animatedly announced and suddenly it felt like the eyes of everyone in there were on her. Her cheeks tinted pink, never having been one for the spotlight like her husband.

She was greeted with welcoming cheers and hugs.

John, for his part, disentangled from the woman he was holding at the mention of his missus. He was sober enough to appear sheepish and guilty, but in the next second it was gone as he stalked towards her. Determined. Quick. His smile growing the more he neared like he was becoming more aware she was really there and it wasn’t a fucked up scenario in his head.

“God, Lila,” she managed to hear him say before she was elevated in the air, his arms tight around her waist and lifting her high so they were at face level and he could kiss her. Channeling his love and exuberance and aggression into kissing his wife. “It’s you, it’s you, it’s really you,” he was saying in between smooches, “I missed you. So fucking much, doll.”

Basking in his love she didn’t feel the need to mention the woman that was so kindly keeping him preoccupied before she entered.

She couldn’t help the first tear from falling or the rest from following. It was like the tightness in her chest unlocked as she finally got to hold him and feel his heat surround her. He still smelled of after shave and the same hair gel that was kept in their bathroom at home but he tasted strongly of whiskey and cigarettes and strawberry lipstick.

John tucked his face into her neck, setting her down and bending to her level. Sniffling in there as he continued to hold her.

“None of that,” she did her best to stop her voice from wobbling or breaking, “we’re together. That’s all that matters.” She drew his face out from where he had hidden to pepper him with a few more kisses.

None of it was enough.

The rest of the guys were kind enough to return to the dance floor and act like they couldn’t see them.

“Who? What - why? How?” He was obviously having trouble forming coherent thoughts in between the kisses he continued stealing from her.

She was crying and laughing and trying to return all his touches. It was a terribly difficult ordeal but she had never been happier.

“Colonel Harding called and said you had a weekend leave. He said he talked to some of the higher ups but they couldn’t allow you a leave home so this was the next best thing,” she explained, cupping his cheek as she rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone. He had minor scars that weren’t there before.

She wanted to kiss every single one of them.

He was still bent towards her height, taking her in as she was taking him in.

She forgot how blue his eyes were.

He was whole. Complete. Hers.

“You’re here for the entire weekend?” He asked to confirm and she nodded, laughing when he lifted her again with a loud whoop to celebrate. That got a few of the guys to join in although they had no idea what their Major was celebrating.

“I need you,” his voice suddenly dropped, setting her down as he turned to the door. “Let’s go.” He was buckling up her coat to make sure she was protected from the freezing London air. She was lucky he was too far gone to scold her for arriving with it unbuckled in the first place - she could get sick.

“John, John - relax, my sweet man,” she laughed, cupping his cheek to get his attention. “We can stay for a while. We don’t have to go yet.”

It’s why she was at the officer’s club in the first place. She had arrived early.

John turned stiff in her hold, straightening to his full height as he suddenly loomed over her. “I’ve got you in my arms for the first time and you want to stay here?” His voice was tight. His face stern.

“Yes - no, I -” she was unsure of where she went wrong or how to fix it. She clasped his hands in hers but he didn’t allow her to thread their fingers together so it was just her holding on. “I just meant we’ve got time, John.”

The way he was looking at her made her want to cry. She felt her lower lip quivering.

She felt ashamed, whispering, trying to get him to keep his cool.

“Time? Time?” He laughed loudly. She was mildly aware of Gale breaking away from a group of guys to near them, worried but she was mostly focused on John. The tense lines on his face even as he laughed and the quirked eyebrow even though she found no amusement in their situation. “You think I’ve got time? You have no idea what it’s like up there.”

She shook her head but didn’t try to verbally explain herself. She wasn’t sure she could manage a few words before breaking into tears.

“Come on, Bucky,” that was Gale stepping in to save the day. Perhaps the only person who could get John to listen. “When have you ever left before dancing with your girl? You gotta show these rookies how it’s properly done right?”

With Gale slapping a hand to John’s shoulders, he seemed to snap out of it. Releasing a deep breath and seemingly all the tightness in body with it.

He leaned down again, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, clasping a hand around her neck so she wouldn’t pull her head back. As their eyes locked she felt a tear fall again and this one wasn’t happy. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. It’s this place. It’s fucking with my head.”

And she chose to believe him, nodding her head in understanding and trying not to think about how she wasn’t his preferred person to write letters to or the one who could clear his head.

Maybe the Colonel should have allowed a weekend pass for Gale and John.

Lila swallowed the thought, allowing John to pull her to the dance floor as he lost all anger and aggression and became charming and loving all over again.

“Everyone, this is my wife!” He bellowed and everyone cheered in response. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and -” he hiccuped and she realized he was drunker than she thought, “and I bet we can out dance any couples here tonight!”

So for the next hour she found herself being twirled around the dance floor by her husband. She almost forgot their prior negative interaction; his love and energy was so infectious. For the slow songs he would hold her close and she would rest her head against his chest, letting it lull her to a relaxing state. He was alive and she was with him. That had to be enough. For the more upbeat songs, he was challenging any couple beside them. Asking those sitting who were better dancers? Who could perform certain dance moves better?

And all throughout, he was like he used to be back home. Loud and happy and the center of attention, keeping everyone entertained. He kept announcing to his boys that his beautiful wife was there and then he’d place a wet kiss on her mouth that had their cheeks (and hers) turning red but all he would do is smile and continue on.

She was finally able to disentangle herself from him when Crosby pulled him in for a conversation. Lila wonders if her state of disheveled hair and panting breaths made him want to aid her in allowing her to sit and grab a refresher.

Once she accepts Crosby’s hug and cheek kiss, she excuses herself to go grab a drink. John only pulls her back once to steal a kiss before she gets too far.

Her lips might be bruised by the time they leave if he kept it up.

She orders a cup of ice water from the man tending the bar, looking back out at her husband as she waits. He’d always been tall and strong, but she notices the change in his posture. The bulges in his arms as he twirled her around and lifted her in the air. His eyes were only bright when he forced it. They had lost their shine and she wishes she brought the picture from back home. Where he looks young and full of life and joyful. Even when he smiles he seems hollow; hopeless.

She’s there but he doesn’t really care because in his head he’s already thinking of when she leaves again.

She wasn’t used to that. Her John only lived in the moment.

“He keepin’ you busy?”

Gale settles up behind her and pushes the glass water towards her. She didn’t even notice when it was put down.

“Dizzy, more like,” she jokes and gets him to crack a smile. She thinks to when she walked in and seen Gale, how he’d been watching the scene unfold but with a disapproving look in his eyes. How he didn’t try to hide the scene from her or excuse it. He let it be. And she knows John has never shied away from attention. He’s always been handsome and charming and girls always swarmed but Lila wasn’t aware she had to be around to keep him loyal. She thought he just was. And she knows it’s not too long before they leave now so she decides to be direct with him. “So, does that happen often?”

She sees Gale’s expression split for a second, like he debates playing dumb before deciding against it and she respects him even more for it.

“I think you should talk to John about it.” He decides on.

“Is it something that needs to be mentioned?” She doesn’t like playing this game with him but she knows at the first words of cheating and adultery Gale is going to excuse himself and her chance will be lost.

She can’t be simple and ask: Does my husband cheat on me?

“Another ginger ale, Marty,” Gale raises two fingers to grab the man’s attention and mutters a thanks as his drink is immediately refilled. He turns his attention back to Lila. “He still loves you, Lila. It’s just - hard. Being out here.”

“You seem to be coping fine.”

She feels bitter. Crazy. There’s a sob she has to choke back.

Lila’s too embarrassed to meet Gale’s gaze. Ashamed that everyone knows what’s been going on and she was the ditzy woman being twirled on the dance floor.

“I think I was used to loneliness. He isn’t.”

And he says nothing else as he leaves her behind heading back to his boys. It’s just Lila and her shattering heart and her husband calling to beckon her back to the dance floor.

Luckily they didn’t stay much longer. She walked over to Bucky but he wasn’t able to pull her back out for a dance - it’s my song, Lila! - because Jack Kidd was approaching, letting them know it was time to leave them at the train station.

Lila waited in the car while Bucky ran into his quarters to pack his bag. He didn’t have many things to take, he would be stuck wearing his uniform anyway. Gale walks him back out to the car and despite the earlier conversation Lila exits the safety of the interior to say her goodbyes.

“Take care of yourself, Major,” she squeezes him, “I need you to stick around after this weekend to look after my man.”

“It’s a hard job but I try,” he replies, both of them ignoring Bucky’s protests.

Besides that, Bucky’s quiet on the ride to the train station. He carries her bag on board but he’s quiet for the duration of the train ride. Lila doesn’t disturb him; he might be tired or hungover or both.

And if she’s honest she’s scared of him snapping at her like the night before.

Instead she takes the time to take him in. He’s handsome in his suit. Tall and big and strong, his sharp jaw and powerful mouth, his eyes blue like a sunny day and his curls coming undone from the gel after all the dancing he did.

Lila doesn’t allow her mind to wander down this path too often but suddenly she can’t help it. Would their baby have looked like him or like her? She wishes more than anything they would have had his ears. She wishes they would have had his heart and his strength - but her loyalty. Her faith in them.

It’s crazy when she stops to think she was nineteen when she married him and now she’s twenty-one. She’s loved him for more than she’s been allowed to have him. She has changed without him like he has without her and it’s frightening to think neither of them could be accepting of those changes. Whatever they may be.

Lila shuts those thoughts out, closing the distance between them to sit on his lap. Passerby’s and his horrible mood and what scares her could be damned to hell - all she wants is her man.

John doesn’t deny her; she admits she was a little scared he would.

“I love you,” she tells him, catching his eyes.

“I know.”

He doesn’t return the words as they continue staring at one another but she refuses to let it get her down. This is her husband. She has the rest of her life to get to know him; new or old habits, she doesn’t care.

So instead, Lila plasters a smile onto her face. “What’re you gonna show me first in London, Major?”

“Well I really wanna show you our hotel room,” he plays along, allowing her to trace the edges of his mustache. She lets out a knowing chortle. “And I really want to show you -” he cuts himself off to look around, making sure no one was near them as he leans in to whisper, “- my cock, Mrs. Egan.”

She turns a bright red, trying to sputter out a proper response for that but all she can do is indignantly scold him. “John Clarence! If your mom were here -” and they both break out in loud laughter at the many possibilities of what his mother would exactly do to him if she heard his wicked mouth.

“Wanna grab some grub first?” He asks instead, knowing she hadn’t eaten at the officers club and before then she had been stuck on a plane. “I know a few places.”

Lila nods happily, pressing a kiss to his mouth. His lips are warm and as plump as she remembers them. His mustache tickles her.

“Let me feed you first, woman!” He groans, trying to be a gentleman. “When’s the last time you ate?”

She puckers her lips to think about it and that’s the only answer he needs: food is definitely first.

When they arrive at the hotel John enters to check them in but he slips a few bills into the bell boy’s hand with strict instructions to leave the bags in their room before pulling her back out to the London streets.

Lila felt underdressed surrounded by women in diamonds and fancy hats, and it didn’t help that John was beside her in his uniform looking dapper and catching the eye of many. They were stopped multiple times on the way to the diner; men wanting to shake his hand and show their gratitude while the women introduced themselves, uncaring of Lila under his right arm.

As long as he wasn’t ignoring or dismissing her she realized she didn’t really care. It wasn’t much different back home; everyone knew and loved John Egan.

The diner he chose was small and cozy and his legs were too long to fit under their table so his boot and his knee kept bumping into her own and she adored it. She wanted to feel close to him and since sitting on his lap currently wasn’t an option she figured this would have to do.

He tells her many stories but none of them are sad or tragic. He only shares the happy ones. He talks about how he convinced the Colonel to allow Buck, Curt, and himself a London weekend pass one time and they had shoved Gale into a haberdashery where he tried on a multitude of top hats worth more money any of them would ever see combined. But because they were soldiers and majors at that, the owner allowed it. There’s a museum nearby he talks about wanting to take her too, it showcases art from as early as the 1400s and he says he’s gotten lost in there plenty of times and it was lovely.

All the while, she listens without hearing him. Choosing to take him in and letting her mind wander to how it would be if things were different. It pains her to think how much older he looks since she last saw him. Looking more like it was ten years instead of the measly two. John’s always been one to smile freely but the wrinkles by his mouth, eyes, and forehead aren’t from smiling or laughing too much.

Lila knows they’re from worrying and stressing and being scared and she hates that she can’t understand him or be there for him. No matter how hard he tries.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes when a sob breaks free. She curls in over the table and John’s reaching over to rub her shoulders. She grabs a hold of her hand in his. “I just missed you so much.” She presses a kiss to his knuckles. “I don’t think I know how to not miss you.”

John doesn’t say anything but he motions a server over to settle the bill and once that’s done, he’s taking her hand and pulling her out the chair.

“You got enough food in you?”

All she can do is nod.

Her body feels electric on the short walk back to the hotel. He doesn’t do more than hold her hand and she thinks that is what has her nerves jittery, his palm in her hand sets her alight. She can feel his rough skin and the calluses on his fingers and the fingertips he runs over her skin and she bites back a moan.

Moaning in the middle of a bustling London street? She’d be thrown into an asylum she’s sure.

Beside her he’s quiet but his steps are quick. She has to lightly jog to keep up with long strides. He pulls on her hand to help her keep pace. It makes her think he’s as impatient for it as she is so she was surprised when upon closing the hotel room behind him he stays by the door. Not nearing or touching or kissing.

Just - nothing.

Her throat becomes tight again as she remembers the girl from the night before and her conversation with Gale. Is that the reason why?

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he says before she can spiral any further. Approaching her and bringing their lips together in a searing kiss, wasting no time in sliding his tongue alongside hers.

“I love you,” she responds and once again he doesn’t say it back. She figured he wouldn’t but she wanted to try. He takes her mouth in his again.

She gets irrationally angry, suddenly feeling the need to claim him so she bites at his bottom lip. He pulls back to press a finger to his lip, wiping the blood there.

Lila pulls on his belt, dropping to her knees right there in the middle of the room.

Mine. He’s mine.

“Make me your wife again,” she’s not sure but it sounds like she’s begging as she manages to unbuckle his belt and pull them around his strong thighs.

“God,” he breathed, “fuck. Look at you.”

Swollen lips parted for him to put to use. John wrapped his fist around her long hair to maintain a good grip, allowing the tip of his cock to hit the back of her throat. There was no resistance, no gag, her body remembering how it was taught to take all of him even though time had passed. John loved that fucking mouth and he found himself angry as thoughts entered his mind - if anyone had fucked her mouth while he’d been away - and he jerks his hips more forcefully. Rough.

This time Lila does gag. Her hand goes to push against his hip but he doesn’t allow her to pull away.

“Did anyone else do this?”

She splutters, eyes on him and confused with a mouthful of cock, unable to talk.

“Did you suck someone else’s cock? This is mine, Lila. Mine.”

He holds her down for a couple of more seconds before allowing her reprieve. She sputters and coughs, looking at him the entire time.

His dick is still hard and long, standing to attention, and he’s not sure whether he should apologize before she’s taking his bobbing dick back into her mouth. To the back of her throat and gulping and fondling his balls. Her nose kissing the coarse hairs on his belly trail and although it feels fucking amazing - he can feel the anger too. Her anger.

How dare he accuse her.

When she pulls off there’s a strand of saliva connecting his prick to her tongue. She has half a mind to go back for more but he’s pulling her back by her hair.

“I’m so lucky to have a wife who’s cock hungry,” he groans, pulling her to her feet by her hair and connecting their mouths in a rough kiss. Their teeths crash and tongues wrestly and he feels fucking crazy that she tastes like him. Simultaneously ripping each other’s clothes off.

Lila didn’t have any warning. One second she was kissing him and ripping open his shirt and the next she was bent over the bed with her ass in the air. John ran a finger over the wet patch on her underwear. The bite on her cheek was also unexpected and she clawed at the sheets, sure she could come from the feeling alone.

“This is mine, Lila,” he leaned in close, burying his face in her underwear. “Mine.”

All she could do was whimper and agree.

John smacked her ass so hard it jiggled. Lila yelled and after the pain ceded, time seemed to stop. Nothing but their rough breathing filling the room. John had never done that before.

She wasn’t sobbing but there were tears escaping. She was sure he didn’t know. He was waiting for a reaction.

Lila wasn’t sure where this side of her husband came from. Had he held back those two months? Did he learn it in Europe? Was that why there was another woman - because she couldn’t satisfy him?

She can’t lose him.

“Please,” she begs, hiding tears in the duvet, “do it again.”

Lies. It was all lies but John believes her and he strikes again. She yelps, fisiting the sheets. He believes it’s in pleasure.

Ten slaps. That’s how many she endures before he begins shushing and petting her again. He runs his fingers through her folds and although she didn’t enjoy the punishment mentally - she did nothing wrong, he was the liar - her body certainly did. She’s sopping wet, she’s gonna have to throw out her underwear because they’re destroyed.

“Did you enjoy that?” He grabs a fistful of her hair to sit her up, her back against his sweaty, matter chest. “You like being spanked, baby?”

“Yes.” It’s only half of a lie.

“Now - now, I’m going to fuck you. Nice and hard, just how you like it,” she wants to scream at him. She wants to hit him. When did she ever like it hard? When was hard ever nice? Who was he thinking about because it wasn’t her.

But at the same time she rocks back against him to feel his cock hard between her cheeks. She can’t say she doesn’t want it. Him. This.

He pushes her back down at her teasing, using his now free hands to spread her cheeks and show her tight asshole. Untouched and pure. He presses the tip of his cock against it but he doesn’t push. He doesn’t move.

She jerks at the pressure. Drools on the mattress as she tries to bite down to temper her screams.

Do it.

No, don’t.

“One day,” he promises, pressing deeper so her hole opens but not deep enough to push. “But today, today I want this.” And without any prepping like she’s used to, without any more warning, he’s sliding down and pushing into her. Hard. Deep.

She screams, can’t help it, claws at the mattress in an attempt to crawl away.

It hurt but it felt so good.

Who was she?

“You think you can go be with other men? Let them use the holes I trained? The ones that belong to me?” He pumps into her deep. Once, twice. She’s so wet the noises filling the room are pornographic, her yelling and his panting and her sopping wet vagina smacking against his thighs and taking his cock so well. “You like it like this, Lila? Like when I fucking own you?”

“Yes, yes,” she swears and this time she isn’t lying. It’s all she can manage; she thinks she’s gone cock dumb. There are no words, no feelings, just the feeling of him filling her.

She clenches tight when he slides out. She wants him inside her forever.

He releases his hold of her hair, stepping away. He’s tired of muffling her moans and words. He’s tired of not being able to see her beautiful face.

John’s favorite face in the entire world.

“Turn around,” he commands.

Lila kneels on wobbly legs as she turns over, having little to no energy and bouncing as her body lands with no grace on the mattress. John grabs one of her jiggling breasts in his large hand, squeezing tightly.

“I fucking missed these.” He takes one in his mouth, biting down on her nipple hard. She shrieks but holds his head to pull him closer.

Her thighs are forced open by his hand and then he’s taking hold of himself and thrusting in deep again. Releasing her breasts from his mouth in order to look at her mouth. Lila’s face when he’s fucking her is as close to heaven as he thinks he’ll ever get. She’s incoherent but she’s begging for more - that much he can make out. She manages to gather the strength to grab hold of him and pull him down, clawing at his back.

He hisses at the pain and bites on her collarbone to reciprocate it.

When she grabs the nape of his neck, the cool touch of her wedding ring against his skin, it gives him pause. This was his wife. His wife.

John has been gone so long he thinks he forgot he was married.

“I love you,” he finally says it, pressing his forehead against hers as he slows down. He sniffles then, leaning down to press a wet open-mouthed kiss against hers and swallow her moans. John can’t believe he forgot he had this; can’t believe he forgot for a minute how lucky he was. She’s gorgeous (and not just externally) and he’s quite sure he somehow managed to dream her up. “I love you,” he swears again.

This time she’s the one who doesn’t say it.

She clutches at neck and pulls him down to take a boob in his mouth. Looking him in the eye hurts too damn much. Why did he have to do this now? She was lost in the pain; she had been taking her punishment.

Lila squeezed her eyes shut, moaning loudly as she thrashed around the bed. Her orgasm taking over her body. She wrapped both legs tighter around John, squeezing and pulsing around him and dragging him to the edge with her.

“Fuck, fuck,” he roared, “so damn tight. Yes, Lila. My perfect wife.”

For a couple of seconds, they lay in the aftermath. Lila could feel the heat of John’s breath against her neck. She counted how many breaths they shared in between one another as they recuperated.

Forty-seven that’s how many breaths they shared as they stayed connected.

Forty-eight that’s when John managed to lift his head and place a peck against her mouth. One she didn’t return.

Forty-nine that’s when John pulled back in concern. Lila was so still.

Fifty. That’s the breath she used to say, “you cheated on me,” looking him right in the eyes as she broke out in uncontrollable sobs.

She cried and cried underneath him. Unable to move because her legs felt like jello and they held no power. Unable to push him off because she didn’t want to let him go. Unable to speak because she was suffocating in her heartbreak.

John watched her until he couldn’t, until he was afraid she was going to choke on her own tears and then he was sitting her up, trying to ignore the way she fought against his touch.

I’m sorry, I’m here, he kept saying.

I hate you, she thought but didn’t say.

Until finally, “don’t touch me!” She yelled when he got too close and made to wrap her up in a hug. “Get away from me, John. Stay away.” She crawled to the edge of the bed and curled herself into a tiny ball. Aware she was fully naked and he was still leaking out of her but she couldn’t find it in herself to do anything except cry.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t open her lungs and get any air in. She slapped at the headboard, aware that she was having a panic attack as suddenly everything hit her all at once. It was entirely consuming and she couldn’t do anything to fight against it except cry. All the feelings rushed her at once.

This was going to be it. The weekend of two lovers reunited was the weekend from hell and this was going to be it. She was going to return home in a day and he would stay in Europe and continue to fight the war and seek out other girls and when he returned she wouldn’t be his wife anymore.

Lila would be scornful and full of resentment and miserable and he would leave her. This last time was going to be all she had and she hated him for ruining it.

Why couldn’t he hide his affairs better?

Why did she have to surprise him?

She was perfectly happy not knowing. She was worried and stressed to hell and crying every night missing him but, oh God, all that was better than this.

Lila isn’t sure how long it’s been since she last took a breath but she feels herself fading. She’s shivering and naked in their bed and she can only slightly take in that John’s wrapping her up in the duvet and curling himself around her to warm her up. She’s trying to tell him she can’t breathe, she’s suffocating, at the same time he’s blowing air in her face.

She’s fading when she feels it. A sting on the left side of her face. Hard and sharp and enough to have her gasping for a deep breath.

“Baby, please, wake up,” he’s crying over her, his head on her chest, “wake up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Her chest aches. She coughs.

He whips his head up so fast she almost laughs. Almost.

“Lila,” he holds her against his chest, rocking them back and forth on the bed as she takes in her surroundings. She isn’t sure how long she was out or how long she was panicking for. Had the sun been setting while she lost her shit? It was dark outside now. “Don’t leave me, you can’t leave me. Please.”

She taps at his arms to get him to release. She doesn’t think she can talk.

John allows her the space but he doesn’t remove himself from the bed. He stays kneeling, watching her. His hands keep twitching like he wants to reach out and touch her but he’s trying to respect her wishes of not being touched.

She doesn’t lay back down, she stays resting against the headboard. Breathing hurts. She’s scared of suffocating once more. Her left cheek begins burning and she wishes she had the strength to go look in the mirror. Did he mark her? She hopes he did.

Lila’s glad he made it hurt.

“You need to go,” she finally manages to say, ignoring the way he’s already shaking his head in defiance. “Leave me here, John. I want you to go. Get another room.” Find another woman. “I leave in a day.” She wishes she never came to stupid London. She wishes she could forget this entire trip.

“Lila it’s the war,” he starts, shaking in his own tears. “It’s all the shit I see, baby. None of it was because of you okay? None. You don’t fucking know what it’s like up there for us but I stay alive in hopes of coming home to you.” He promises.

She shakes her head, fighting back any more tears. How the hell could she still have any tears left?

“But Gale didn’t cheat,” it bursts out of her before she can stop it and she knows it’s the wrong thing to say entirely.

John stops his apologies, clearing his throat as he gets up and begins dressing into his suit. She doesn’t stop him. She doesn’t take back any of what she said. She gets tired of sitting so she lays on her side, staring out the window and noticing London doesn’t have many stars. Is that why it’s so horrible here? Because there were no stars to wish upon.

She could hear his boots stomping on the ground as he reached the door. “Maybe you should have married Gale fucking Cleven then.” And the door slams shut behind him.

She wonders if he’s angry enough to find a girl and sleep with her. Her eyes blur. The time on the clock is six p.m and London’s already dark. She realizes she hasn’t slept since her plane ride. About 19 hours awake - her and John.

Lila allows her eyes to close, hoping when she wakes everything will be better.

Shadows over her eyelids wake her up. Lila finds she hasn’t moved. She’s in the same position facing the window. Facing London, only now bombs are dropping over it. The prettiest colors burst forward in the window but she knows it's truly only tragedy and loss. Murder.

She recognizes John sitting in the arm chair and she wonders when he got back. He isn’t facing her, he’s watching bomb after bomb drop and land no more than mere miles away from them. He’s holding a whiskey on ice, twirling the ice so it hits against the glass.

Lila wonders then if it was the shadows or the noise that woke her up.

“I must have punched in my card a long time ago,” his voice is strong in the dead of the night, seemingly even louder than when he’s singing in the pub. “It must be the reason for all of this. Karma.” He scoffs.

I deserve this, is what he’s trying to say.

Lila feels her stomach twist and spin and there’s bile sitting in her throat. She closes her eyes to stop herself from imagining John in a plane, dropping a bomb that lands on children. She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see the hurt sitting on his shoulders.

She remembers how angry she was when he first signed up. Before they were married. They had been dating for over a month, barely, and she already scribbled ‘Mrs. Egan’ over her notebooks. She’d heard it from his younger sister, Eileen, and she felt her world stop. She hadn’t hesitated to run to the stables he worked at and confront him in front of all the men.

“You’re leaving me,” she had accused him. “You’re gonna leave! I’ll never forgive you, John Egan.”

And in front of everyone he’d knelt down and produced a ring, the one his father had given his mother and said, “Marry me.” He didn’t ask because they both knew it wasn’t a question.

She was already his.

And he was hers.

Lila had forgiven him and promised to love, honor, and obey for the rest of her life.

She doesn’t have the strength to stand so even though her throat burns she speaks. “Lay with me,” she croaks. Her voice is raspy and broken and even clearing it aches.

John shakes his head. “You don’t want me to.”

“Lay with me,” she repeats, firm. “I just want to fall asleep with you.”

He looks at her like he's scared to believe. Trying to figure out whether she’s simply being cruel and going to kick him out in her next breath. Or more likely, he’s scared she’ll lose her shit being near him again.

John, hopeful and never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, sets his drink down and nears the bed. Lila keeps her eyes locked on his and he does the same. Their moves and tension resemble a game of chicken, one of them afraid any sudden change can have the other running off.

“Take off your uniform,” she says when he pushes back the covers while still fully dressed. He jerks his head in confusion and she bites her lip to contain a laugh at his dirty mind. Sex is the last thing on her mind. “I want to feel you, that’s all.”

John does as she asks, setting his cap down and shredding every layer before he’s naked and gorgeous and sliding in beside her. She doesn’t allow herself to think about what it means when she immediately slides closer.

Lila’s the one to wrap her arms around him.

Lila’s the one to intertwine their legs.

John follows her lead, lifting an arm so she can raise her head and use it as a pillow. She scoots her face closer and she nuzzles into her armpit, smelling his deodorant and feeling his hairs poke at her nose. She moves further along, escaping the cocoon of his armpit to press her cheek against his chest. She clutches his dog tags in her palm, tight, so he can’t get up in the middle of the night.

“Can we fall asleep together?” She asks, but when she looks up John’s already there.

The next time Lila wakes up her palm aches. She releases what she’s gripping, remembering how she clung to John’s dog tags when he slid into bed beside her. She lifts her head and finds John already looking at her.

He’s got the saddest eyes she’s ever seen and she hates that she’s partly why.

“We should talk,” her voice is low and cracks from not being used. John nods his head but makes no move to begin.

Lila lays her head back on his chest, lightly picking at his matted, curly chest hair. She presses her lips to a freckle near his nipple and his intake of breath lets her know he felt it,

“I’m not the one you write the most letters too,” she starts, finding it easier to not have to look him in the eye. “You write the most to your mom. And I’m not the one who can calm you down when your anger gets the best of you,” she’s so tired of crying, “that’s Gale. “And I can’t even be here for you at the end of a mission to console you or kiss you or help you forget,” she chokes on a sob. “That’s whoever else.”

I couldn’t even keep our baby healthy, she leaves out.

“What’s your point with all this, Lila?”

Lila lifts her head from his chest, “My point is I’m a horrible wife. I - I don’t know if it was too soon or just not thought out but this - I- ” she can’t get the rest of the words out.

“Don’t say that,” John sits up against the headboard, forcing her up as well. He grabs both her wrists in one of his hands to pull her closer and grab her attention. “Don’t fucking tell me that, Lila.”

“I don’t make you happy,” she shakes her head.

“You do. Everything I do, everything I’m doing - it’s for you Lila.”

“I don’t want to marry Gale. Or someone like him. I love you. Only you. But I’m scared that I don’t make you happy. You deserve better.”

“Oh you dumbass,” John coos, suddenly finding the entire situation amusing. He pulls her in for a hug. “You’re my entire fucking heart, Lila Egan. You don’t think you make me happy? You’re the only thing in my life, in my head, that makes me happy.”

She pulls away to hold his face. “If you’re gonna leave me John you need to tell me now. I don’t care about the girls if all they are is to pass the time. And I don’t care that you write to your mom more than me and I don’t care that Gale is the one you listen to but I just need to be the one you love the most. I need to know I’m making you happy.”

His heart aches at the fact that he made her feel she was ever anything less than the most important person in his life. “Lila,” he presses a kiss to her lips, “Rose,” another kiss, “Egan,” another. “Are my only reason for staying alive.”

[cheriladycl01]

NBA/ NDA - Sergio Perez x SingaporeanOlympicBasketball! Reader

Plot: You were hot shit in Singapore and America where you played for a women's NBA team. As a professional whose also performed for the WBNA and for a home Olympic Team, you deserve a night out clubbing.

Credit to perstappen for the GIF

You'd just won gold for Singapore in Women's Basketball Team and you couldn't be prouder of you, your team and the support from your country.

You'd moved away from Singapore when you were 16 with your family to live in New York to be able to participate in the WNBA. You went to a high-school before getting into a college on a basketball scholarship. You played for your university team before being scouted for New York Liberty and playing with them.

Then you had the option in 2020, to start training for the summer Olympics in 2024 with a basketball team in Singapore, it was a lot of travel back and forth between American and Singapore to the point where you knew the first class air hostesses on all Qatar Airways flights.

Training for two separate teams was very hard however you had such a growth in fans over the past few years even being invited to the Met Gala and various other events that had you further in the eye of the media.

Tonight you were celebrating with the girls from your home team in Singapore. All your hard work had paid off and you were currently in one of Singapore's finest clubs.

You were at the bar, watching your friends dance with their partners who'd they'd invited along with them to see the game. You didn't have a special someone to celebrate with, just the girls but they of course were all occupied.

"What's a girl like you doing here by yourself!" a voice says next to you, making you look at the man who was sipping from a small glass he held.

"I'm not by myself, I'm with friends!" you explain looking over his soft features.

"Well, you've been here for an hour and you haven't spoken to anyone" he says making you laugh a little.

"So, what you've been watching me for the last hour? You want an NDA with me or something?" you chuckle not understanding this guys m-o.

"No, no I just thought I'd come over and say hello, I saw you win gold. Congratulations" he smiles offering you a drink which you take suspiciously until the bartender gives you a nod that it's safe.

"You were there?" you ask raising your voice a little above the music.

"Yeah, I was here for the race. Was given tickets from my team!" he answers and that when your drunk mind really looks over his features and you remembered seeing him on a Red Bull advertisement.

"Oh! You are a driver! In F1 right? Red Bull?" you ask looking over him again as you say it to make sure you don't sound stupid.

"Yes, how'd you know?" he asks with a laugh.

"You were on the can of my drink!" you smile, showing the can next to the JaeagerBomb you'd just inhaled.

"Both athletes then!" he smiles and you nod.

"Yep! How'd you find it with all the travelling?" you ask, knowing you'd struggled going between just Singapore and New York.

"It's hard, but seeing all the different places and people is what makes it so great" he smiles. The drinks start to get to you and in seconds you've grabbed his hand.

You took him onto the dance floor, letting your body do the talking as you danced against the man that was probably older than you'd normally go for but you'd had too many drinks to look at those fine details.

His dancing was awkward at first but eventually when he got into it you both weren't caring at the eyes or cameras on the pair of you having fun.

"Hey! We should so play one on one basketball one time!" you shout at him and he nods.

"I'll need your number for that handsome so i cant set a date!" you ask boldly and he nods, taking your phone and putting his number into it.

The rest for you and Sergio, was history.

y/user

Liked by schecoperez and lewishamilton

y/user: Clubbing after winning Gold met this random F1 driver? He brought me lots of drinks.

View all 376 comments

schechoperez: I'm glad i bumped into you when you were hanging out with your team-mates alone...

-> y/user: hey I was partying!

->fan1: no way did Checo find her alone in the club, ITS Y/N Y/L/N

lewishamilton: I didn't have this match on my 2024 bingo card...

->fan2: not even Sir Lewis Hamilton could predict hot WNBA female with Mexican F1 driver.

Your Instagram Story Caption:

Hungover Practice be like ...

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[cranberrymoons]

have a happy holiday

prompt: modern au (@steddieholidaydrabbles) word count: 577 rated: t

welcome to Day 16 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

The airport’s a complete mess.

He knew it would be. It’s three days before Christmas; obviously it’s going to be a mess, but still, he’d hoped that if they beat traffic getting here, then they’d have time to actually get to their gate without running and then he wouldn’t be so wound up and stressed out before even stepping on the plane and –

Anyway.

“It’s going to be fine,” Eddie says easily, smoothing a hand over Steve’s back as they shuffle forward six inches in the security line before coming to a stop. Again. For the tenth time. “We have plenty of time.”

“I know,” Steve says, even though he doesn’t know, because they don’t. He glances down at his phone to watch the minutes turn over. “It’s just – my dad…”

“Is an asshole,” Eddie says. He smiles. “You’ve mentioned. A dozen times.”

Steve looks at him out of the corner of his eye, then shoves his phone back in his pocket. He sighs. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Just – if we miss our flight, it’s going to become my fault somehow, and I just really don’t want to deal with that at Christmas? I just want – us.” Eddie wraps a hand around his wrist and tugs him closer, and Steve lets out a sigh, shoulders coming away from his ears. “I just want it to be us.”

“You know, we don’t have to go,” Eddie says as the line shuffles forward again. “Really, if you want, we can just… head home. Do Christmas ourselves.”

Steve studies his face for a moment, a buzz starting up in his chest. Then he shakes his head, shutting the feeling down before it can get too loud.

“We have tickets. We can’t just –” He lets out a sigh, tugging on the strap of his bag. “We paid for them.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. He widens his eyes. “We already paid for them. That doesn’t mean we have to actually use them.” He raises his eyebrows. “It’s not like they can double charge us for not getting on the plane. We didn’t even check any bags.”

Steve feels a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth. “But my dad –”

“Is an asshole,” Eddie says again. “So who cares what he thinks? We’ll just say we caught COVID or something.” He makes an exaggeratedly sad face. “So sorry to cancel on such short notice, but what can you do? It’s responsible for us to stay home, really.”

Steve laughs, pulling his bag higher up on his shoulder. “What would we do instead?”

“It’s Christmas in New York. We can do whatever we want,” Eddie says. “Coffee in pajamas, walk in the park. I’ll buy you one of those big ridiculous hot chocolate milkshakes. Whatever you want.”

“Better than the alternative,” Steve says. He narrows his eyes. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Serious about the fact that I’d rather spend Christmas fucking my boyfriend on the couch than at a dinner party with the Republican Senator from Indiana? Obviously.”

Steve’s heart does a somersault, and his smile widens. He takes a breath and glances at the line divider to their right, blocking them off from the rest of the airport. They could duck out of line right now and just –

“Okay,” Steve says before he can second-guess himself.

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Okay?”

Steve nods, letting out a giddy little laugh. “Yeah,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

[also on ao3]

[anon-sect]

Picture source: @spencer-kicks

PART ONE......

Kevin had a popular YouTube channel where he would show off his shoes and give a review about them, all the positive, and negative notes. He had over 5K subscribers and was approaching 6K. He decided that he would do a special celebration the moment he reached 6k subscribers.

A few weeks later, he reached 6K. He posted a contest to celebrate reaching a milestone since starting his YouTube channel. One lucky subscriber would get to help out with a video review on his channel. After a week, he picked the winner of the contest. The winner was invited to his house to participate in the next video review.

Alex couldn't believe he was selected out of the many that entered the contest. Kevin had really picked him to be in his video. He was surprised when Kevin had paid for his flight out. He was also informed that his hotel arrangments had been made as well. He just needed to catch the flight out to him. He would pick him up at the airport.

When the day came, Alex was curious as to why there wasn't a return flight ticket. It was just a one-way ticket. He was sure Kevin would explain once they finally met. True to his work, Kevin was at the airport waiting on him. On the ride to his place, both him and Kevin had a wonderful conversation. But back at Kevin's place, was when he started to suspect something was wrong.

"I have a question." Alex asked. Kevin nodded for him to ask. "I didn't get a return flight ticket, and what hotel will I be staying at?" He was curious on both questions.

Kevin just smiled. "Actually, don't worry about the return flight ticket. And as for the hotel, you will be staying with me." He paused. "Now, to your assistance with my next video, you will be helping showcase my new pair of sneakers, Nike Air Zoom Flight 95s." He added.

Alex had seen a pair of those sneakers online before. "So will I be doing the camera shoots?" He asked after he was sort of satisfied with the living arrangements. He saw a smile appear on Kevin's face that told him something different he would be doing.

"Actually, you will be part of the video showcasing my new shoes that just arrived today. The reason why you don't have a return flight ticket is because......well......you will see." Kevin explained as he went to his room and came back with a device in his hand. He programmed the transformation. He pointed the device at Alex and hit flash.

Alex saw a bright light flash at him, and there was an instant change. His body felt different. It felt like he was split in two halves. His field of vision had limited light. He also found himself incapable of moving on his own. No matter how hard he tried to move or speak, he was both immobile and voiceless. The only thing he could materailize is the thoughts in his mind.

"As the winner of my celebration contest, you was selected to be my new pair of shoes to be added to my ever growing colletion." Kevin paused. "But you will be my favorite pair, because you are my very first pair of living shoes. I will wear you many times during every week. You and my feet will get to become best friends. As the winner, you will be in my next video featured on my feet. The only thing is that no one will ever know what happened to you. Even those who will watch the video will only think of you as normal shoes. I hope you enjoy your reward for winning." Kevin finished as the put on his new pair of shoes.

Alex was mortified. He did want to in the video, but not as literal shoes. He saw the light blotted out as a pair of feet crushed his insole face with tremendous pressure. He could tell the sock Kevin was wearing was slightly dirty and had a bad odor to them. To make things worse, all of his senses weere increased by almost 1000%. The odor from the sock was intense. Each step was like being crushed by a mountain, extremely painful. Even feeling the ground that he was being crushed against was no walk in the park. It fetl like he could feel the gravel, sand, and even concrete up against his back. To be walked on was mentally crazy, and he was wondering if his mind would survive being stuck this way forever.

Alex could hear Kevin talking while recording the video. Every word was in reference to him as though he was normal sneakers. He mentally screamed for help in a hopeless situation, wishing his thoughts could be heard through the recording. This was not what he had hoped for when he thought he was going to be in the youtubers next video. It all made sense when there was no return plane ticket or list of hotel reservations. This was Kevin's plan the entire time, and his fans were clueless on it. His only hope now was that help would come rescue him from this fate. He only had one hope of seeing his humanity again. It was a good thing he made a backup plan in case something went wrong on his trip.

After recording the video, Kevin loved how his new shoes felt. They felt way better than normal sneakers. He definitely had to get himself another pair like these. Human material does make for better sneakers, the thought to himself. He knew Alex wasn't expecting this fate. Actually, none of his fans would have suspected it. Neither will anyone know what happened to the winner. The secret about his new pair of Nike Air Zoom Flight 95s would just be that, a secret, only between himself and the very sneakers. That thought cause him to laugh at the situation.

Continuation in PART 2............

[ukranianacearo]

"Mother", a strong word

Part 2 Part 3

F!reader

Word count: almost 4k

Mention of Innocent zero's real name.

Tw: Mentions of starvation, enslavement (like what Russian empire did to Ukrainians back in 18-19th centuries), mentions of blood, mentions of abuse, mentions of birth, harrasing, and attempts at SA and I think that's all. Please, do inform me if you see more.

Pairing: romantically there's none, but reader has to marry Innocent zero.

Genre(?): angst.

Tags: @aiscreamcake (I thought you would be interested)

Author's note: This has been rotting in my brain for over a week and @fellow-anime-weeb927 post only strengthened this lol. Sorry for any mistakes, I didn't recheck it before posting and English isn't my first language. More under cut.

---------------------------------------

Escaping the empire would be dangerous and risky. But even death would be better than what you had to endure. Your nation has been occupied and enslaved by another nation for centuries already, poisoning your people's minds, destroying your culture and language and killing those who were against the system. You weren't a person. At least wasn't considered one. Your lord, the one who owned your family, was a cruel man. Not only towards you and your family, but even to his own kids and his ill wife. When times got tough even for him, you were only 5. His wife's condition worsened, she got bedridden; there even was talks about her possible death. It was the first time he tried forcing himself on you. Fortunately for you, you escaped. Times got worse with the arrival of international market. Selling got worse and so did your family's condition. Your lord paid less and less, to the point where your family starved for days, sometimes even weeks. The first to die was your youngest brother; he was only 3 years old when he died of starvation, you were 6. Two months later, your mother died. The same cause, the same ground buried her. There has started to run rumors about the lord marrying you, since his wife will die soon and he had kids to take care of. Your father had no say in it, after all, you and your family are nothing more, but his property.

You were 7, your oldest brother died at the age of 17. He too, died of starvation. After a few months, your last brother died, at the age of 16. You and your father were devastated, but you only could bury your brother next to your other two brother and your mother. One of the days, you heard your lord talking with his friends about some ships taking people to another land, to another country. But, it was really risky, you could die from any cause there; not that it mattered to you, you could never even imagine having the money to buy tickets for you and your father. So you just continued working. A year passed, then another and now you're 9. One of the evenings, your father didn't come back and you started worrying. You had nowhere to go and seek him, but the lord's house. When you arrived at the door of the house, it was open and you could see your father and the lord talking about something. While trying to focus on what they were saying, you leaned slightly against the door, making sure it didn't move nor made any sound. It was muffled, but you could understand that they were discussing your marriage with the lord. Your father tried to reason that you were just too young for the lord, you only 9, after all. But the lord didn't care.

That day, you lost your father and killed your lord. That day was also the second time your lord trying to force himself on you.

You buried your father next to the graves of your family members the best you could. It was the middle of the night and lord's kids were sleeping in their respective homes, since most of them were old enough to have it. Not caring about lord's dead corpse laying on the floor of his house, you took the money there was; you didn't know how much a ticket to the other country would cost, but even if you had more than needed, it was better to have more than less.

...

The travel wasn't pleasant at all, but you finally was here. Most people at the port called it The Magic Empire. You didn't know if it was because there was actually magic and people could use it without being punished or if it was because people's dreams and wishes would be satisfied. Noticing that many people had some lines on their faces, you didn't want to stick out so you decided to use your necklace. Clenching it in your hand you increased the zone affected by it. Feeling their magic power being stored in the necklace, you changed the course and way of the magic in the necklace to create an illusion of a mark similar to the people around you. As you put the hood of medieval cloak on your head, you start going in the city; the cloak covering your figure completely, hiding the broken clothes you wore; a pair of pants and a T-shirt.

...

In the past 5 months you lived in the Magic Realm, as people from here called it. You were fortunate enough to know the language that people speak here, since you learned it from a dictionary someone threw out while you were still living in your home country. But, life was still challenging, of course. Although, 'challenging' would be an underrating. This realm worked such as higher your magic power - higher your status. So, you had to lie, to live a lie; you didn't have your own magic, you only could use or manipulate magic that you 'stole' with the necklaces. If you stole it by defeating a person, that person's magic was copied by one of the necklaces, and if you 'stole' it by just increasing the area that was under the necklaces' cancellation of magic, you could use a person's magic for as long as they were in the area + a certain amount of time after they were out. In these past month you have worked as anything you could: cleaning people's shoes, selling newspaper, running errands for people, etc... You did your best and most of the errands were done perfectly, and your employers were satisfied with your work, paying you a bonus every now and then. You tried to save as much as possible while still eating something at least once a day. Your plan was to go to a middle magic school, but to do so you would need to deceive many people and even the government, so that they could think that you had actually alive parents, at least. For that, you would need to defeat someone who possessed a mind controlling power and you only had three years to do so: that's when middle school start.

...

It was easier than you thought. That boy really thought he could use you as a punching bag, but ironically, he was the one laying on the cold and dusty ground. Now, you're one step closer to succeeding.

...

This mind controlling magic was actually something. You carefully created a well written story for your play, the realm your stage and everyone the audience. The school you wanted to go accepted you, just like you planned. And thus, the played started.

...

No one has suspected a thing. Which feels kind of weird. But you decide to continue the show, there's nothing else to do.

...

The middle school was good, it had bedrooms for every pair of students, a kitchen and many more things. Just a perfect entrance of a grand show.

...

Few years past by, and it's time to decide the academy where you'll go. There were three options, the ones that will appreciate the show. Easton Magic Academy, Walkis Magic Academy and Saint Ars Holy Magic Academy; in Saint Ars, rules are most important thing and rule breakers are punished harshly. Definitely not for you: you would be considered a criminal at this point. Walkis focused only on strength which is also not the best, tho this academy produced the most divine visionaries at this point. So, you're left with Easton Magic academy.

...

The entrance exam was pretty easy. After that you were assigned to the Orca dorm. Not bad. You can work with this.

...

Eyes. No matter where you went, they followed you, like the hunting past. Were you in class, in the kitchen, training or even in the deep past, you remember eyes following you like a predator. When you were in middle magic academy, you didn't have time to ponder about it at all. Nor when you were doing errands for someone to earn extra money. Sometimes, when you tried to look at the one who was the person with such intense curiosity, you only saw white hair of a passerby, who you guessed was your classmate. Trying to follow that person was impossible, it's like they disappeared the moment you approached the place where magic lingered the most. It haunted you. You had a guess who it was, but with no evidence, you could do nothing, but try to be careful around that person. Cyril Marcus. He was the only one who had those long white locks. And his magic... Rather he used basic spells or his personal time magic or even if he didn't use any at all, you could always sense that difference between his magic and the magic of other people. When a person's potential is great in terms of magic, you can sense their magic differently. But this scared you very much. Even if you knew that your necklaces worked on him as well, you were scared. Better treat a gun as a loaded gun and not as a non loaded one. He seemed much eager to fight against you in the tournament for divine visionaries' candidates.

...

Your fight against him just ended. You won. After all, he was nothing without his magic. But, in your opinion, he was more testing you than fighting you. Right now, it was break time before continuing with the tournament. As you sat on one of the couches in the room, you clenched the necklace in your hand. The other three core necklaces were still deep inside your skin, in the same spot, even after all these years. The square body of the necklaces had some difficult artistic style. You still couldn't figure out which one exactly, but it resembled the baroque style very much. The black hook that was on one of the edges of every body wasn't as delicate as it seemed, just like the black chain that went through it, embracing your neck loosely.

-"You seemed so brave out there, but look at you now." - You snapped your head towards him, the look of shock on your face making him chuckle. His mocking tone didn't help, as it made you more uncomfortable. But you were used to the feeling, so you didn't let it show just like always. - "Don't look at me like that, it makes me think that you didn't expect me." - Deciding to play safe you calmed down your expression to a neutral one and let go of the necklace.

- "What do you want?" - There was no need for chit chat, especially between you two. You two weren't on bad terms exactly, but you weren't friends either. Still, your suspicion about him being the person who stalks you was present on your mind.

- "You're so straightforward, as always."

- "It's better to save the time and energy used to talk about nothing." - As you crossed you arms across your chest while Cyril smiled in that typical sly smile, although to you, it looked more like a smirk.

- "This...show that you play in front of everyone is quite the spectacle. I must admit, it took me a while to see the truth."

- "What are you talking about?" - In this type of situations it's better to play dumb. You couldn't afford for the show to end just yet. It would be a fiasco. Anyway, how did he figure it out? Has he been stalking you for so long just because of that? You made sure he couldn't see your thoughts on your face.

- "Don't play dumb. We both know what I'm talking about. At first I thought you were just a 'Disgraceful Mage', just to find out later that you are magicless. I must admit, your cover is good enough to make me think about you and your magic for quite the years. This fight in particular has confirmed my suspicion. Your necklace isn't just an accessory, am I right?" - His words froze you as he pointed at your necklace. The situation got to the point where you couldn't just deny your way out.

- "It would have been better if you continued thinking that I was a 'Disgraceful Mage'..." - You mumbled, making Cyril look at you with a curious smirk. - "What do you want from me? You wouldn't be here just to talk with me, would you?" - You tried to stay calm, but it was the first time someone saw past your costume. Instead of the character in the play, he saw the actor. You already realized why he was going in circles while fighting. He was out of the zone affected by the necklace, so he still could see magic power. Truly, that potential you saw in him would be enough to end your show.

- "Don't worry that much, I wouldn't want for the show to end just yet. After all, you could call me the most loyal fan of your spectacle. Who else would sit and watch it, while seeing your true form and not the character's?" - It was as is he read your thoughts with magic, although it was impossible, your necklace still worked around you. - "I don't mind your magicless nature, but what about others?" - He slowly walked closer and sat on the couch in front of you - "I'm sure you know they wouldn't accept you if they knew, otherwise you wouldn't be putting this good of a performance. How convenient that I have just the offer for you, wouldn't you say so? You see, I plan on becoming the perfect human, but for that I need to find more knowledge and strong allies."

- "What do I have to do with all of that?" - The palms of your hands have started sweating, but you still somehow managed to act calm enough. Hearing your words, Cyril smirked slyly and put his leg on the other.

- "We both know that magic users tend to rely very much on magic - myself included - and you're someone who shifts their situation a lot with just a lift of your hand. Or even without it. As years went on, you taught yourself to manipulate that necklace very well. When the time will come, I want you to join my association and plan. Of course, I, on my end, will make sure the government won't get you." - It was tempting, but the actor can't just disappear from the stage, it wouldn't be fair. You clenched your left wrist with your hand as you looked at him a bit troubled, trying to stay calm. Seeing your hesitation, Cyril chucked. - "Don't worry. I will give you time to think about it. But when I'll come for an answer, I hope you'll have it." - He said as he got up, walking towards the door in his usual slow and elegant way. You wanted to answer, say at least something. But it felt as if the words got stuck in your throat, sinking in your stomach, leaving you alone with your thoughts haunting you, trying to come up with something, anything. - "So long, dear actress." - He left the room as the voice of a commentator announced the break time over. You were left alone, looking at the floor while your thoughts got to you. How could you afford such a mistake? Your performance was supposed to be perfect, without even the slightest flaw. Clenching the necklace you tried not to let emotions get the best of you. Even if there was a break between the acts, the actor shouldn't forgot that they're an actor. People are supposed to only see the character that they portrait, not the person behind it. One person in the audience saw the actor as they are, but that shouldn't matter. Especially when the person continues to watch the show peacefully.

...

- "Tell me, Cell war," - You started while watching your 'son' in the tank, or better say, in an incubator. Cell war, who was a creation of Innocent zero, turned to look at you patiently, waiting for you to continue. In the past years, Cyril Innocent zero really weird choice of name got to know that for achieving his goal to become "The Perfect Human", he needed six hearts of blood related family. That's how you got to this scene of the show. The audience changed, but the actor and that one specific person stayed the same people, probably. He mixed his DNA with your to create a life. You promised yourself that no matter what, your 'sons' won't live as bad or even worse than you; you would not allowe it as long as you breathe. - "How do you feel about his plan?"

- "If it's something 'father' wants, then it should be done."

...

- "You shouldn't be up this late." - You said in a scolding voice while standing behind the four young boys that stood outside your bedroom door.

- "Mother!" - They four said in unison, as they turned around to look at you. Fanim and Delisaster immediately went to hug you by your legs, since they didn't reach any higher yet, while Doom and Epidem stood by your sides taking your hands in theirs. They all seemed very exited and happy to see you again.

- "We wanted to see you the day you came back from this mission, so we stayed up." - Doom explained in a shy manner. You patted their heads as you hummed, giving a sign of acknowledgement.

- "That's very sweet of you, boys. But you shouldn't lose sleep just because of me. Sleep is fundamental for your health." - You answered in a caring voice, you truly couldn't be angry at them for long. Hearing your words, they looked between each other and then all looked at you.

- "But, mother is also very important for our health." - Delisaster started.

- "You train and play with us." - Doom continued.

- "You don't get angry at us for the slightest mistake and explain everything that we ask you to." - then Fanim continued.

- "And you give us all kinds of sweets." - Epidem finished. You were shocked. All of them were still so young, but understood so much. It wasn't uncommon in your experience, many kids you knew from the streets when you were younger had to grow up too soon - yourself included. But these four boys didn't live that life. Your best guess was that they were so aware of everything because of Innocent zero, their father. You smiled softly at them as you hugged them all.

- "What would I do without you guys, hm?" - They basked in your attention. - "But you gotta go to sleep now, it's already late." - Hearing that they whined in unison, but obeyed and you guided them to their rooms.

...

- "Did you see mother?" - Delisaster asked Doom, as the later was sharpening his sword. The former couldn't find you for a while now and he really wanted to show you one his new tricks with his pole arms.

- "Did you not know yet? She fell into a coma." - Doom tried to act as calm as possible, but in reality he was devastated. The fact that you just fainted out of nowhere wasn't positive at all, especially for the sons. There was no logical explanation for this and no one could figure it out. The ones who were probably affected the least were Domina and Mash, who were still too young to understand it. The room fell into silence's embrace as Delisaster tried to process the devastating information he just learned.

...

- "Domina, you should be useful. That's what mother and I would want. You understand, right?" - His sly tone of voice echoed in the small dark room that could barely be called a bedroom. He stood in front of Domina, looking at the small boy from his height. - "We must do it so that mother can wake up. Do you want her to wake up? Domina."

- "Yes, father." - The small boy looked pitiful. His pink-ish hair was cut just above his shoulders with bangs covering his eyebrows. He was just around 5 years old, yet he seemed as if he didn't eat enough. Domina's was determined to do anything to help his mother regain consciousness and make his father proud. What he didn't understand was that, he shouldn't be the one to fight for it.

...

- "I see you still don't understand, Mash Burndead. If you continue to fight against it, mother won't wake up." - Doom said as he blocked one of Mash's punches.

- "I don't know that mother much, but I'm sure that destroying the world won't help wake her up." - Mash answered in a usual monotone voice as he punched Doom in the abdomen.

...

- "Who is she?" - asked a tall man with white hair and a big sword at his hip.

- "She was retrieved from the castle. Supposedly Innocent zero mixted his DNA with hers to create the six sons. Her name is [Y/N] [L/N]. She studied in Easton Magic Academy back in the days alongside me and Innocent zero. Was reported missing by some acquaintances after graduation. Later on was discovered that she lied to the government, a lot." - Another tall and old man with grey hair answered.

- "So she's also Mash's biological mother... I wonder why she joined Innocent zero in his plan." - The tall man with the sword murmured.

- "I'm sure Innocent zero had some cards in his sleeves to play to manipulate her. She wouldn't go for such length just because of someone else's desires. Especially Innocent zero's, she couldn't care less about the man."

- "Maybe she was in love with him." - The tall man with the sword suggested turning his head slightly to look at the old man. Right after the man finished his sentence, the old one started laughing; when he finished laughing he sighed and started talking.

- "That's impossible, Kaldo. Not even love potions could make her feel something so deep. She herself said that she was unable to feel such love since birth; her brain lacked in that part. I guess she had a secret that the world shouldn't know and Innocent zero knew it."

- "Like what?" - the curiosity got the better out of the man with the sword.

- "Hmm, I don't know. We should ask her after she wakes up. For now, call Mash; I wanna talk with him." - The man with the sword bowed and walked out of the door, while the old man continued looking at the woman in the nurse bed. - "Mother, such a strong word, huh..."

----------------------------------------------------------

And that's it :D I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. If you want to be added into the tag list, please comment.

[larryisinlove]

MY LTWT 2022 vs MY FITFWT 2024 EXPERIENCE

This past Saturday, May 18th, I went to Louis’ show in Argentina, and I have a lot to say about it…

Let’s start with the show in general. When Louis announced the stadium he would be performing in (one show at Vélez Sarsfield - Capacity: 50k), in my mind I was already considering there was no chance of a sold out show, I already knew it wasn't going to happen. And it’s not that I don't believe in him or the amount of fans he has, but these are basic math to do and simple comparisons with his show in 2022 (two shows at Movistar Arena - Capacity: 15k). I won't go into details, but the chance of him selling out were a few, I won't say it was impossible, but it was difficult.

Here in Argentina, attending shows has become something that not everyone can afford to do, due to the high prices of the tickets. Besides the fact that many fans come from other provinces or distant cities, they need to pay for transport, hotel, food, etc. So, we can also blame the country's economy for not being able to sell out.

Although I maintain that the stadium was too big for him.

Let's not forget (or at least Argentinian fans still remember) that Louis did fill that same stadium, but with One Direction in 2014.

Something strange to note, and that some fans decide to pretend that it’s not strange at all, was that after months of tickets being on sale, and only a few sectors were completely sold out; only three days before the show, the rest of the sectors began to sell out completely. Are you going to tell me that in five months nobody could buy, the fans were collecting money, doing raffles, and in one day magically everything was sold out?

Now let's talk about the show…

My friend @anchorandrope (who I went with) and I had the cheapest sector, one of the highest stalls in the stadium. Both we and the fans who bought that sector were prepared, not only to withstand the cold that we knew we were going to suffer, but we also looked for comfort because we had seats and we were going to be able to be calmer in comparison to the general and VIP fields.

It was two hours before the gates opened, and the stadium staff started to tell us that we were going to have to move to another sector, specifically to the field. Nobody agreed, we paid for a specific ticket and "at the last minute" they decided to change us to another sector. There were long minutes of shouting between the fans and the stadium staff, where they gave us excuses as to why they were changing us, threatened us with not letting us in if we didn't accept this change and even blamed us for following an artist who didn't fill stadiums.

The funny thing is that they couldn't agree on a good excuse. While we were told it was because of problems in the toilets, a group further away were told it was a problem with the sound. If they knew days ago that they were going to change us, couldn't they agree on their lie?

I won't make this part of the story any longer, but much of my sector ended up in the general field, a much better sector than we originally had. But what was the problem? The problem was not being in that place, because I saw him much better than if I went where I should have been. The problem was the mistreatment, the thousand excuses they gave, being uncomfortable, because many of us didn't even have clothes for that sector, or we had backpacks that were too big with too many things, and if you know what it's like to be on the field, you know that you have to go with as few objects as possible.

The problem was all the parents who accompanied their children and got the cheapest seat for a reason, and they had to endure all those hours standing when they had purchased a sector with seats. And even if there were any children, I doubt that they would have been able to see or enjoy the show. There were people with a cast on their arm or with a disability that made it necessary to have a seated area, and they didn't care.

Let's move on to talk about the fans…

The atmosphere was tense.The hours of queuing and the hours of waiting inside the stadium were tense. Louis’ fandom is not what it used to be, and many of those who attended follow some trends imposed by a few fans on Twitter, so we were surrounded. With my friend we spoke in code or omitted to name certain words, because you never know who you have next to you, and at that moment the idea wasn't to look for trouble. You didn't feel that fandom togetherness that there was, and I know about that, I've been in fandom since 2011.

For example, during the queue before going in, an alarm I have on my phone for my contraceptive pill goes off and the song is Silver Tongues. My friend and I were laughing, and I told her that the song I used to use was Kiwi. I knew that she would understand me, that she understood the reference and wouldn't say anything, after all it was a joke with no offense intended, but you never know. The fans around us looked at us as if we were crazy or missing a joke (or just pretending not to understand).

I feel that this fandom lives in a cycle where every now and then we repeat the same “trends” over and over again, but that's a topic for a separate post. 

Regarding the age of fans, I don't have a problem and I don't have anything against new fans starting to listen to Louis, in fact, I strongly encourage him to continue to grow as an artist. But as a 23 year old, it was strange that every single person I talked to was under 20 years old. There were no fans my age, only a few exceptions, not even older. How can this happen? Where are all those fans who grew up with his music? Where are all those fans who were still his fans in 2022?

It wasn't just the tension between fans that was a factor in saying it was a strange show. There were no signs, no flags, as you could see at the 2022 show. Only the brave had been an iconic song at the last show, with its fan project of the LGBT+ flag created by lights in each sector. But this year, I could swear I could count on my fingers the flags I saw. I even read fans on Twitter saying that there was no point in bringing them to shows anymore, as if it was a temporary trend, or something from the Walls era.

When the show started, you could tell it wasn't the feel of a Louis’ show, there was something weird going on. The fans were silent, not singing along to the songs, including Walls. They were just recording. I understand if you don't know a cover from another artist, because I admit, I didn't sing both covers, but songs from his first album… How could you not know them? I could swear I could hear myself singing them and Louis.

The other sectors were silent as well, and those with seats were completely immobile.

In 2022, Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy was one of the songs where the fans sang the loudest, now none of them knew it, as if Louis was singing new songs. I know there are fans who didn't live through the One Direction era, or even despise everything related to it (another topic for another post), but how can they not sing songs like Night Changes or Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Again, in 2022 these covers would have been screamed until fans’ voices were gone.

You couldn't see the dedication or fanaticism for Louis. I could easily believe they just grabbed people passing by the door and let them in. I wouldn't even find it crazy if they had done it either.

In the two years that have passed between shows, it’s disappointing and sad to see this change. And if it wasn't for the fact that I was accompanied, I don't think I would have had a good time in all those long hours of waiting. I would understand if it was the other way around, and this was Louis' first show, and he didn't have the years of career that he has, and the recognition that he has.

Since Saturday, I've had a bad taste in my tongue because of everything that happened at the show. And I'm not the only one who can say these things. I know there are fans who are blinded by their fanaticism and will say that everything was perfect, or will argue that Louis could have sold out (because it happened to me), but it's a matter of taking a moment, thinking and being realistic.

It doesn't make me a bad fan to say his fandom is being horrible lately, it doesn't make me a bad fan to say he wasn't going to sell out. And let's stop blaming each other for this situation and start looking at who are the real culprits in all this?

There is a lot more to tell, but the post would become too long. If anyone wants me to tell more, they can send me an ask and I’ll be happy to continue to explain this.

[octuscle]

Hi Chronivac or Suitcase people! I'm looking for a change in my life like working with my body rather than with my brain, living in the north rather than in the south, being poor but happy rather than wealthy and unhappy, being a player rather than the relationship-guy and so on. I hope for your help

Dude, seriously, if you're going to do it, do it! Why only half the cake? Why not work with your awesome body, live on the beach in the south, be rich and happy and take everything that comes along? Somehow that sounds much better… At least for me… I have another suitcase for you, labeled MVD. Filled with everything you need for a basic jet-set influencer beach vacation. Beachwear from Vilebrequin, sportswear from Balenciaga, a little something for the evening from Prada and co. And a hotel voucher for The Grand Hotel in Punta del Este. Just for the weekend. After that, it's off to Buenos Aires for you and then you'll have to see…

Shit, the brand new iPhone alone, which you're holding in your freshly manicured hands, costs more than you've paid in rent for your miserable apartment in six months. You don't even want to know what the entire contents of this suitcase cost. But how do you get to this Punta del Este now? And where is it anyway? You look at your new cell phone. Your tickets are in the wallet. First to Madrid, and then on to Montevideo. Premium Economy. Sounds great, you've never had that before. Should you put something on straight from your suitcase? Better not. You should take it easy on your clothes. But maybe one of those T-shirts from Balenciaga. A quick look in the mirror… Okay, better not, maybe a little tight around the hips. You're not changing.

When you check in your suitcase, the ground staff lady flirts with you. She asks why you've joined the queue with all the tourists. As an Emerald customer with oneworld, you should have been allowed to use the first class check-in. She asks if she can upgrade you to Business Class as compensation. You don't say no.

You can get used to the lounge. It's better than waiting outside in the aisles. The toilets are also better. And when you look in the mirror, you think that they must be playing tricks with the light. You look younger and more relaxed. And were you wearing that immaculate white shirt just now? Somehow the champagne seems to be going to your head. You almost missed the boarding call.

The lounge was cool, but flying in Business Class is really awesome! There aren't many passengers up here. But somehow you get the impression that everyone is just looking after you. Like a real VIP. You take a selfie of yourself and the purser. Later for Instagram. The Iberia logo well placed. You have to show your appreciation somehow. In Madrid, you send the two pictures out. The second one with the pilot. He says it was an honor to fly you. They're getting a bit carried away… They're making fun of you!

When you go through passport control at the terminal change, you first think you've put the wrong passport in your pocket. Cool picture! But it doesn't look like you. You check it out as best you can in the reflection of a window pane. Yes, the angular features, the piercing blue eyes… It all fits.

It's getting better and better. Instead of your connecting flight being called for boarding, a member of ground staff comes by in the lounge, takes your bag and accompanies you to the gate. You're already in the mood for a glass of champagne. But alcohol is only compatible with your six-pack to a limited extent. Besides, it's already late and you should get some sleep. You have more than enough room. So apply your night cream, put on your sleep pods and put on your sleeping goggles. And when you wake up rested after almost nine hours, you hear the first signs that the breakfast service is about to start. You hear the flight attendants gossiping. One of them says that you looked like Cupid while you were sleeping and that you could shoot him with your arrows. They obviously have no idea that you speak Spanish. You let them believe that you don't understand them.

Actually, you would have liked to have taken a closer look at Montevideo. But you don't have time for that. The season in Punta del Este is as good as over, so if you want to boost your mid-season business, you need a few pictures of the sunset. And you get paid quite well for boosting the mid-season business a little.

It's actually a bit too cold at the end of March for topless shots. But your nipples look even better this way. "End of a hot day, beginning of a hot night at the most beautiful end of the world" you write under the picture. 3K likes in half an hour. You are worth your money!

[sgiandubh]

Offer and demand

For comparison purposes, kindly find below what a devoted Ozzie fan will have to be prepared to pay for a pic with one or several of the participants to the Hublander Australia 'A Visit to The Highlands' event, this week-end, in Sydney and Melbourne:

On top of that, there is an extra option I have never seen for European events (and correct me if I am wrong). You can buy signed personal items and autographed pics for somebody who cannot attend (personal items cost a little extra, no idea why). Here is an example, for S:

Just to have an idea, remember (I will always LOL at this word, from now on, and that's really a shame, because I use it a LOT, irl) these are the prices in Australian dollars. A pic with S would cost you around 115 euros or 125 USD and the most expensive group pic would lighten your purse by around 360 USD or 333 euros.

All this, like for the Paris Landcon, are on top of what you pay for access and the rest of the side gigs, depending of your tier of choice. Those can set you anywhere from 200 Australian dollars for the standard entry ticket to 1800 Australian dollars for the Platinum Tier, where I hope S will pour you a dram or something - nope, not really, that was really a cheap joke, forget about it. You do the math, it's easy.

If you take the time to compare with the Paris Landcon, the discrepancies are clear. The Australian Lollapalooza easily costs the double. But before you screech and wail, do remember two things:

Prices in Australia and France are not really the same. Same goes for the disposable wages of the people buying these tickets. Same goes for the logistical costs (venue rent, talent accommodation and fee, insurance - very important!, other administrative expenditures like legal costs: never forget these people also sell licensed merchandise, which comes at an extra cost itself, etc).

Also, event organization is a business in itself. There is a market and a pool of potential clients for this type of business. Demand and offer meet (or should do so) on that market and the result of this encounter of sorts should reasonably reflect what the people are willing to pay for whatever you peddle around, from bagels to Scottish fantasies. Too expensive - nobody will come. Too cheap - the talent you hope to attract would, in all likelihood, not show up, especially if it takes 10 to 20 hours of flight to get there.

Now add to this the need to satisfy just about everyone in the room. The simple need to make sure that the person who paid 200 dollars for the basic ticket would not feel left behind those who paid nine times (yes, nine times, for Australia, land of plenty) more. That is not an easy task and those figures you have seen are not what you may think they do represent, on face value.

Last, but not least, a wee secret: the bulk of the talent's fee comes from those autographed pics you bought extra, the Q&A sessions and the Platinum Meet and Greets - isn't that a strange form of Marxist distribution circuit (but I digress, forgive the scholar). The rest is probably going to cover operational costs.

Nobody robbed you. Nobody forced you or hypnotized you. You will meet the real people, not some denizen of Abuja who pretends he is Mr. Blue Eyes. And S will not get richer after Melbourne, only more tired.

You're welcome.

PS: merci à toi; chérie, pour l'info and also a heartfelt thank you to you, New Friend on the Block. You know who you are! 😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️

[Edit]: @joey-baby tells me the Oz fans can buy the recording of both days. That is a local exclusive and I surely hope we'd see some of it in here. Thank you! 🙌

[dootdootwriting]

Oooh is it possible to request scenarios with the Liyue boys having a Kitsune s/o (that also has a teasing side like Yae Miko)

featuring: childe; xiao; zhongli; baizhu (new!) tw: teasing, spoilers (?) in baizhu's (for content not released yet) type: fluff, established relationship, mentions of chronic illness in baizhu's, slightly suggestive in childe's part, sparring in childe's part pronouns used: none a/n: multitasking writing this and using my 113 arena tickets in crk <3 i am so sick of those hollyberry/moonlight/pv combos </3 die in agony <3

utc for length as usual!

BAIZHU

In the name of Rex Lapis, if that man overworked himself one more time you would force him into paid vacation.

This was not the first time Baizhu had collapsed at work, and certainly would not be the last. With his condition, of course it would happen, that in itself wasn't what bothered you -- it was the fact that, despite being perfectly able to keep track of his symptoms and react accordingly, your much beloved partner always insisted on continuing his work.

"You know," you hummed, hauling him gently off the floor, "if you wanted to see me home early so badly, you didn't need to go to all these lengths."

Baizhu managed a smile and a light huff in recognition. "You know I would spare you the trouble if I could."

"Trouble? Taking care of you is nothing but a pleasure." Baizhu's bed, thankfully, was not far away, and you sat him upright on the mattress, checking his breathing and heartbeat for any irregularities. Fortunately, you didn't find any, so you gave Baizhu the OK to start work again -- SLOWLY -- along with a soft kiss on his head.

"Thank you," Baizhu called before you left, "for not making me feel like a burden."

"Are you kidding? Getting to see your gorgeous face every day is a blessing from the archons themselves."

Though you had your back turned, you could feel his blush, from all the way across the room.

CHILDE

"Can't keep up?" came the ever-familiar sneer from a few feet away. You sprung back up to your feet and leveled your daggers at Childe, who insisted on sparring every weekend as a "couple's bonding activity." You weren't sure if he liked showing off or getting rough better.

"You wish," you shot back, and within the blink of an eye you were on him. With one knife just grazing his jugular and the other tossed aside to pin his arms behind his back, you sneered back at him. "What's the matter big boy, cat got your tongue?"

For half a second, you could see your boyfriend's thought process stop abruptly. His eyes widened and his mouth parted, light traces of the start of a blush making itself clear across his freckle-covered cheeks.

And then he was back to his usual self. "Okay, you win!" he dropped the spear he'd been using, raising his arms up in a surrender motion and backing a few steps away.

"I swear, you get me every time when you talk like that..."

XIAO

As much as Xiao loved you, he sure didn't visit you very often. It wasn't intentional or anything -- he was just new to the whole relationship thing, and he wasn't exactly the best at, well, quality time.

So, naturally, you put on your best outfit, made sure you were looking snazzy, and went to wait for him at the Wangshu Inn. Verr Goldet recognized you as soon as you walked in and let you upstairs. Now all there was left to do was wait.

Xiao's room wasn't much, honestly; a bed mostly for you and a dresser and a rug was all that was anything close to decoration. You recognized a vase of qingxin flowers, a gift from you a few months ago, now sitting on the windowsill and wilting despondently.

"Who let you in here?"

Xiao had appeared in the doorway, silhouette illuminated by the light in the hallway.

"What do you mean who let me in here? Verr Goldet did, of course. And besides," you said, making your way over to him and taking his face in your hands, "you owe me some time together. With the way you've been avoiding me you'd think you didn't want me anymore~!"

Xiao looked back at you, horrified, as you laughed lightly.

"Only joking, dear. But really, we have some catching up to do."

ZHONGLI

If you had told any of the adepti a century ago that in a hundred years the venerable Rex Lapis would be seen in human form wandering the harbor with a silver-tongued partner, they would have reacted one of two ways, depending on the adeptus.

"Absolutely not, no way in hell," or "Archons, that's a relief. He needs a break."

He did, of course, need a break. And that's where you came in. Because after centuries of violence and upholding peace over an entire region, anyone would get tired and want to settle down. And though that's exactly what Zhongli did, he would occasionally feel the need to continue on with work at the funeral parlor long past overtime.

"Aw, and leave me all alone to watch the ships tonight? I really thought our little tradition meant something to you," you would pout, giving him a hopeful glance. Zhongli, of course, knew exactly what you were playing at.

"Well, alright. I suppose I can spend a few hours with you tonight." Your persuasion and good nature was always exactly what he needed to make sure he was taking enough care of himself and you.

"Only a few?"

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [4] - Venus Flytrap

A.N: Thank you so much for your amazing feedback and support my loves!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: It’s important to keep one’s promises.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, slow burn.

Word Count: 4300

Series Masterlist

You didn’t have a lot of things that you could call your own while growing up. Almost everything you wore had passed down to you from your sister whom you also shared a room with, so anything that only belonged to you was very precious to you.

So you had made yourself a flower garden.

It hadn’t been easy. In fact at first, you had worked in that small corner of the garden -as far away from your house as possible- from morning until the night fell, until your sister would call you back home for dinner. Eventually, you had managed to save up a little to buy a book on different types of flowers, and in the following days you hadn’t stopped reading it until you memorized it line by line, the various drawings of flowers on yellow pages embedded into your mind.

So needless to say, you couldn’t wait until you would see this flower exhibition.

“Can we leave now?”

“My dearest, the exhibition will open at 1 o’clock,” your aunt said with a laugh. “It’s not even the time yet, I assure you we won’t be late.”

“Maybe they’ll open it earlier?” you asked and she tilted her head.

“We will leave soon, I promise,” she said, her focus still on the paper she was writing on. “Just wait until I finish this letter.”

You slumped back down on the armchair and drummed your fingertips on the cushion.

“Are you sure you don’t want to see the exhibition with me?”

“No thank you dear,” she said. “Me and Teddy will sit by the pastry shop while waiting for you, you know how much he likes those chocolate cakes there.”

You suppressed a smile and as if on cue, Teddy ran into the room in full speed to fling himself at you.

“Whoa, hello there!” you said as you wrapped your arms around him to give him a hug. “We were just talking about you, are you ready?”

He nodded fervently and turned around in your arms to look at your aunt.

“Hello auntie! I finished all the work Mr. Langdon gave me!”

“Good job Teddy!” your aunt said, making you smile wide as you looked down at Teddy.

“Even French?”

“Even French!”

You gasped. “That’s wonderful Teddy!” you said. “Do you want to come see the flowers with me?”

He thought for a moment, an exaggerated solemn look crossing his face.

“I will if you want me to,” he said. “But first the pastry shop?”

“Told you,” your aunt said with a laugh as she sprinkled sand on the paper, then blew on it and carefully placed the paper into the envelope. “Very well, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

By the time you got to the street where the exhibition and the pastry shop was on, you were almost trembling in anticipation. You barely listened to what your aunt was saying before you made your way to where the exhibition was held, your maid following you while your aunt and Teddy went to the pastry shop across the street. You quickly paid for your ticket, then stepped inside, the view making you hold your breath.

Oh you weren’t going to leave this place until you were sure you saw every single flower in detail.

The exhibition had the same layout of a museum, and all the flowers were divided into categories. Since you were one of the earliest guests, there were only a couple of people which would make it so much easier for you to spend as much time as you wanted with every flower, and a giddy giggle climbed up your chest which you quickly hid by clearing your throat and making your way to the nearest flower.

By the time you got to see most of the flowers in room, two hours had already passed and it was slowly getting crowded. Even if you could feel the gaze of some lords -who were probably there to chaperone their sisters- on you, you paid no mind to them, you were way too focused on the lovely sights in front of you to even turn your glances.

That was, until you heard a very familiar voice.

“What a coincidence to find you here Miss Y/N.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, heaved a sigh and opened them again before turning to look up at him. Benedict was smiling at you in a very proud manner, as if he was delighted to in fact find you there. Your heart skipped a beat but you pulled your brows into a frown, shooting him a glare which didn’t seem to discourage him at all.

“Is it?”

“Hm?”

“Is it a coincidence?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Seems like it.”

“It has nothing to do with the fact that you told me about this exhibition and knew very well I’d be here?”

“I suddenly found myself very much interested in flowers,” he said, his mischievous smile still playing on his lips. “And felt the need to see some.”

“Name one flower here.”

He looked around and pointed at the door with his thumb. “That’s a rose.”

“That’s also not a part of the exhibition, they just put it there for decoration.”

“Still counts.”

You heaved another dramatic sigh and walked past him to look at the next flower, hoping that he would get the message but of course he did not as he followed you.

“This one looks pretty.”

“It’s also very deadly,” you murmured, leaning in to inspect the petals better and Benedict tilted his head.

“Really?”

You nodded, deep in thought.

“Yeah, all parts of it,” you said. “But especially the rhizomes; the thickened roots. It’s called Flame Lily, it’s pretty and not that difficult to grow, it can even grow in sand dunes, but it’s very dangerous and people have to be very careful with it in their garden because it’s fatal to anyone who digests it. It’s also—” you stopped immediately when you caught yourself rambling and turned your head to see Benedict watching you with a soft smile and you narrowed your eyes, straightening your back and crossing your arms.

“You can read, can’t you?” you snapped and nodded in the direction of the small name plate with the information under it. “It’s all there.”

“I think that was the longest time you’ve talked to me so far.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

He almost resembled a hopeful puppy. “Tell me more.”

“I’m not the flower almanac,” you replied in a haste, trying to cover up the awkwardness that was taking over you for giving him an impromptu lesson in flowers and skipped to the next flower, with him following you suit.

“What does this one do?”

“It doesn’t do anything— alright, you know what?” you turned to glare at him. “You’re disrespecting the lady you’re courting right now. I don’t know about your arrangement nor do I care, but keep me out of this—”

“What?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I want no part in it,” you said and he shook his head fervently.

“No not that, what lady?”

“The lady you’re courting.”

He blinked a couple of times. “…Who am I courting?”

“Charlotte Harlowe.”

“Charlotte?” he repeated. “We’re not—Jesus Christ, this again? Who did you hear that from?”

“What does it matter?” you asked and he ran a hand over his face, a look of exhaustion crossing his eyes as if this was the hundredth time he was explaining that to someone.

“Charlie is a close friend of mine.”

You scoffed a laugh and shot him a mocking glance. “Sure. Very close I’m guessing.”

“No she really is a friend. We could never see each other that way, there’s no courtship between us, nor could there ever be.”

“And you were what, talking about art when you were in that room alone back in your house?”

“That’s exactly what we were doing.”

“Well I…I don’t care,” you said, ignoring the small spark of hope shooting through your system and throwing your shoulders back. “Just keep me out of it—”

“I’m not courting anyone right now,” he cut you off as if it was imperative that you knew it and you raised your brows.

“One could assume your ways of trying to find love is not working,” you taunted. “I’m sure you are finding something though, so not a complete loss I suppose.”

That seemed to have rendered him speechless for a moment and you used that to your advantage, walking closer to the last flower in the exhibit; Venus Flytrap.

“I think I gave you the wrong impression when um, when we bumped into each other at Madame Delacroix’s shop and what you read about me on Whistledown, but I can assure you—” he was cut off when you held your breath. “What?”

“Stop talking and don’t move,” you said, your eyes fixed on the small fly buzzing over the Venus Flytrap before it landed on the open flower.

“Is that…?”

“Yeah,” you said, still holding your breath like if you breathed too loud it would somehow scare the fly away. “If that fly stays there long enough, it will close.”

Benedict tilted his head and you nibbled on your lip, counting down in your head until the trap closed, making you exhale in disbelief. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Benedict’s focus shifting to you but you were almost too dazed to even snap at him, and you leaned in closer to see the closed flower better, excitement rushing through you.

“Is it your favorite flower?” Benedict asked and you pulled back slightly, then turned to look at him.

“Venus Flytrap?” you asked. “No. Why?”

“I’ve heard some lords—never mind,” he said, making your frown deepen.

“What?”

“I’ve heard some lords call you that.”

“Venus Flytrap?” you asked and rolled your eyes. “How original of them.”

“So what is your favorite flower then?” he insisted. “Roses?”

“Sure,” you deadpanned. “Limitless options to choose from in the nature and I chose roses as my favorite.”

Benedict smiled slightly. “Tulips.”

“Not even close.”

“Orchids.”

“Now you’re just insulting me.”

“Dahlias.”

You arched a brow. “You know what a dahlia is?”

“I wasn’t raised in a barn,” he said, a proud grin lighting up his face again. “Is it dahlias?”

You shook your head. “My favorite isn’t that commonly found,” you said. “It’s not here, or in any florist in London.”

“What is it then?”

“Middlemist Red.”

He thought for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one.”

“Makes two of us.”

He looked quite confused now. “Your favorite flower is a flower you haven’t seen before?”

“I’ve seen sketches of it,” you said. “It’s the most beautiful flower in the world. I don’t have to see it in person to know it’s my favorite, it simply is.”

“You like the idea of a flower?”

“You like the idea of love,” you said without missing a beat, “At least mine exists somewhere.”

That playful light started glimmering in his eyes again. “So does mine.”

“So you hope.”

“So I know.”

You let out a hum, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Well, I wouldn’t have the time to rest if I started correcting every man’s illusions with the truth,” you pointed out and looked around the room, then nodded at your maid. “That being said, I should take my leave now.”

“I was just about to walk outside as well,” Benedict said quickly and you shook your head, then stepped out of the building with him, your maid right behind you. “No really, do you believe in anything?”

“Other than the absolute truth?”

“One could claim there is no such a thing as absolute truth.”

“Oh I can assure you that there is,” you said. “Some of us just don’t have the luxury of entertaining such pointless ideas, unlike what your artistic circle of friends made you believe.”

He opened his mouth to argue with that thought for sure, but before he had a chance to say anything, a familiar, cheerful voice reached you.

“Y/N!”

You instantly turned your head to see Teddy running to you in full speed and he flung himself to you, making you suppress a smile before you knelt down to look at him better. He had traces of chocolate all over his cheeks and you wiped at them, tilting your head.

“Did you fall into the chocolate cauldron?”

“I ate two slices of chocolate cake!” he held up two fingers and you gasped.

“Did you?” you asked. “Two slices?”

“Yes!” he said, nodding hard enough to give himself a head spin. “And we got those—those small chocolates as well, those round ones!”

You couldn’t help the smile warming your face. “Which round ones?”

“You know! The ones I brought you the last time! You invented that drink which—which we put chocolates in milk, it was your idea!”

A small giggle escaped from your lips and wiped at his cheek again as you saw your aunt making her way to you. Her eyes averted from you to Benedict and your heart skipped a beat, you had almost forgotten he was right there. As soon as you straightened your back again, you saw him watching you with a smile which made you pull yourself together and you pursed your lips again, narrowing your eyes at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head as if he was trying to snap out of some sort of a daze and turned to your brother. “Hello there. I’m Benedict, what’s your name?”

Teddy came closer to you, half hiding behind your skirt. He had his moments of shyness around strangers but he was slowly starting to overcome that lately and he stole a look at you before turning to Benedict.

“I’m Teddy.”

“Nice to meet you Teddy,” Benedict said, extending his hand and Teddy eyed him for a moment before shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Mr. Bridgerton, what a coincidence!” your aunt said and Benedict bowed, the perfect picture of dignity and charm.

“Lady Thorne,” he said. “What an honor to see you again.”

You rolled your eyes but thankfully your aunt didn’t see that.

“Are you here to see the exhibition as well?” your aunt asked and Benedict nodded.

“Yes I was,” he said. “Though I’m quite ignorant on flowers, Miss Y/N has been the most helpful tutor to me today.”

You made a face at him, making him suppress a smirk as your aunt pressed a hand over her chest.

“Aw such a delightful encounter then!”

“Debatable,” you muttered under your breath and Teddy looked up at you.

“Hm?”

“Nothing Teddy.”

“And I was so taken by all this newfound knowledge that I forgot to ask,” Benedict said. “Miss Y/N, are you by any chance coming to the Brewer Ball tonight?”

“Why?” you asked tersely and your aunt cleared her throat.

“Yes we are, Mr. Bridgerton.”

“Any chance you could spare me a dance then?” he asked, making your aunt gasp and you gritted your teeth, glaring at him.

Oh he was doing this on purpose.

He knew your aunt would love it, and that you couldn’t say no right in front of her. Even though the idea was tempting, you clicked your tongue and heaved a sigh.

“…Sure,” you said after a couple of seconds and he smiled at you sweetly.

“Wonderful,” he said. “I should take my leave I think. Lady Thorne.”

“Mr. Bridgerton.”

“See you later Teddy.”

Teddy only waved at him and Benedict took a step, but stopped when he heard your voice.

“Mr. Bridgerton?”

He turned around immediately. “Miss Y/N?”

You let a mocking smirk pull at your lips.

“Do give Madame Delacroix my best,” you said. “When you go to um…pick up your sister’s gowns from her shop.”

He stared at you, his mouth slightly open in amusement and you curtsied, then turned your back to him to smile at your aunt who looked very happy, your implication lost to her as you knew it would be.

“So,” you said “Are we going home now?”

                                           *

It wasn’t that you had been excited for a dance with him.

It wasn’t as if your heart was pacing in your chest when you had stepped into the ballroom, or that your eyes searched the crowd in hopes of finding him.

It wasn’t like any of that because if it were, then that would have meant that bitter taste at the back of your throat was disappointment. Even though Daphne, Anthony, Colin and Lady Bridgerton were in the ballroom, there was no sign of Benedict.

Whatever. It was good riddance, and even if your aunt was quite upset at him not showing up after asking you to spare him a dance, you had convinced her that you did not care.

Which you did not.

Almost two hours into the ball, your dance card was full and as much as you hated it, dancing with various lords somehow provided you a distraction from the anger boiling at the pit of your stomach. It was just flat out rude to not come to the ball after this afternoon’s exchange, but it served as a reminder that you should not even have spared him a thought, no matter what he said.

Instead, you were going to just focus on this extremely pointless and boring conversation you had been somehow pulled into after your sixth dance.

“No I haven’t been to one yet I’m afraid,” you said, making Lord Brumley raise his brows.

“You’ve never been to a horse race, my lady?”

“No.”

“You’re jesting surely?”

You shook your head. “I just haven’t find the occasion I think.”

“Oh I love horse races!” he said as if you had asked him. “You must allow me to accompany you to one this season my lady.”

“Are they that entertaining?”

“Extremely!” he said. “It’s right up there for me with fencing.”

“You like fencing as well,” you muttered, looking around as subtly as you could. “I see. Are you any good at it?”

“I’m very good at it,” he said with a tinge of pride in his tone, but none of the playfulness Benedict always possessed. “Back at school -I mean of course it’s been years now, but I was the best one among my friends…”

The rest of his sentence disappeared into the rest of the chatter in the ballroom as you saw Benedict walk into the ballroom, looking somehow out of breath. You could feel your heart skipping a beat as you noticed how handsome he looked, but you bit on your tongue, trying to focus.

It was rude at best and just plain arrogant at worst to just ask you for a dance and then deciding to skip the ball, as if you were one of those ladies desperate for his attention. The anger was making it hard to listen to anyone but your own thoughts, yet you forced yourself to turn your gaze to Lord Brumley who was very much interested in telling you how he had beaten his best friend in a fencing match, but soon enough he was cut off by another voice, a very, very familiar one.

“Miss Y/N.”

You gritted your teeth and turned to look at him in complete silence, arching a brow. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat.

“May I have a word?”

“I’m in the middle of a conversation,” you said flatly as you turned to Lord Brumley who nodded at him.

“Hello Benedict.”

“Thomas.”

Oh great, they knew each other.

“Well I’m sorry to say this but the lady is quite interested in our conversation,” Lord Brumley said with a grin. “And I even got a very faint smile from her during our dance.”

You tried your hardest to keep yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Accidents happen I suppose,” you muttered, making Lord Brumley chuckle.

“Don’t you have someone else you should dance with?” Benedict asked him tersely and you took a deep breath.

“Excuse me Lord Brumley, it seems that I must destroy yet another man’s hopes,” you told him, making him laugh and bow his head.

“Of course, my lady.”

You walked away from him, with Benedict following you.

“Y/N—”

“I’m sure there’s supposed to be an honorific in there somewhere,” you said, your voice ice cold as you walked to the window just so that you could make sure you wouldn’t look at him. Benedict took a deep breath.

“I know I’m late,” he said. “I…please accept my apologies, I did not mean to.”

“I don’t care about your intention or your presence,” you said, grabbing a drink from the tray to sip it nonchalantly, as if your heart wasn’t beating in your throat. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Daphne looking at you two but you forced yourself to keep your gaze on the night sky, stars glimmering.

“No I was going to come here much sooner, with my family actually but—”

“I don’t know why you’re so insistent on always giving me all these explanations, it’s not as if I ask for any of them,” you cut him off. “That being said, whoever it is that’s holding your leash, Miss Harlowe or Madame Delacroix or someone else, they really ought to shorten it.”

He shook his head.

“I know what it looks like but I can assure you,” he said. “I meant what I said about dancing with you, I still want to dance with you—”

“Oh you still want to dance with me?” you asked, a disdainful chuckle escaping from your lips as you finally turned to look at him. “Well I’m honored, Mr. Bridgerton. Truly, I am.”

He paused for a moment, as if trying to find the right words.

“I was painting,” he ended up saying and you raised your brows, shrugging your shoulders.

“Alright, great. You can go back to that now.”

“No you don’t understand,” he said hastily. “I haven’t been able to paint for…for months now, lacking inspiration for so long and it was absolute torture but when I returned home today, I could finally start again. I lost the track of time until it was finished.”

Your heart made a leap in your chest. That feeling was quite familiar, you had lost the track of time while tending to your garden more times than you could count, and yet his explanation did nothing to soothe the pang of anger inside of you.

“I didn’t even hear my family leave,” he added. “It was almost a haze, even.”

“Sounds fun,” you said, your voice completely flat. “Must be nice to have that luxury to be left alone when you want to.”

“Would you dance with me for the last—”

“No,” you cut him off. “I promised the last dance to someone else, and even if I didn’t, I still wouldn’t dance with you.”

That look in his eyes was so sad that you felt your stomach turn but you forced yourself to keep your expression completely still.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’d like to make amends if you’d let me, it was never my intention to break your heart.”

You stared at him, that bitterness spreading through your system as an amused chuckle left your lips.

“See, this is the issue with you artists, your endless imagination,” you said. “I don’t have a heart. Don’t disappoint yourself or me any further by assuming otherwise.”

He paused only for a second before he shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s true.”

You scrunched up your nose and tilted the glass towards his direction to point at him. “Right, because you know me so well.”

“I think you want people to think you have no heart,” he pointed out. “And don’t get me wrong, you’re very good at convincing most of them. But I don’t think that’s the case.”

Your jaw clenched, that spark of fury shooting through your system as soon as the feeling of defenselessness crashed down on you. It was somehow way too familiar and you could feel your throat tightening but you managed to appear completely calm, tilting your head to the side.

“Quite the creative theory,” you commented and lowered your voice so that no one else in the ballroom could hear you but him.

“Did you come up with it while looking for inspiration between some lady’s legs?”

He pulled back slightly as if your words took him by surprise, and granted you would have never formed that sentence if it were any other lord, if it were any other person, especially now that you were in public but anger was pulsing through you too fast to let you even think about the consequences of your implications.

It was unbecoming of a lady, nor was it acceptable in any way but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when you were this furious at him, his assumptions and his actions tonight.

“Miss Y/N, I believe your next dance is with me?” Lord Johnson’s voice reached your ears and both you and Benedict turned your heads, snapping out of the haze.

“…Yes,” you said. “Of course, Lord Johnson.”

Benedict’s jaw clenched but he bowed his head at you. “My lady.”

“My lord,” you said and it was only when Lord Johnson took a step back that you took a step forward to Benedict so that he could hear your low voice even through the chatter of the ballroom.

“You don’t know me,” you nearly growled. “And you never will.”

And then, you dropped a curtsy and placed your hand in Lord Johnson’s, and let him lead you to the dance floor.

Chapter 5

[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (44)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: none

A/N BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz). This chapter is short because it's a filler one. Next couple of one might be as well.

All the boys in the camp turned their heads the moment you came stomping in with Yunho behind you. They raised their brows at each other when they saw the scolding look on your face, wondering if it would be a smart idea to ask what was going on.

“Hey, Darling. Where were y'all?” San was the one who had the courage to ask.

“Hendrick has my dad in prison.” You sighed, shoulder dropping as all the tension left your body the moment you saw all the boys. 

“Why?” Mingi asked.

“They are accusing him of being the one to take the money from city hall. They're also thinking we were the ones who did it.” Yunho explained to them, crossing his arms. 

“They're going to come looking for us again?” Wooyoung questioned, looking around.

They knew it was best to leave town for a bit and go into hiding. However, that was before they thought about sending a manhunt for specific people. Things would change if that was the case for the group. 

No matter how many times you were able to break someone out of prison, you would still be coming back to help the people of the town. Even if you did take the money this time, who’s to say that Klein wouldn’t just raise the taxes again to collect the money back? Quaid was still going to be there whispering things into the mayor’s ear.

“No.” You spoke up, looking at them all with your head raised. “We'll go to them.” You said

“What do you mean?” Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you oddly. 

“It doesn't matter if we take the money and give it back.” You explained. “So long as Quaid is here he'll keep taking the money. He's the one who brought in Sciencslaver. We have to cut the weeds from the roots.”

“Princess is right.” Hongjoong spoke up, coming out from the main tent. 

“Captain it won't matter if we don't stop Strickland.” Jongho told him. “They'll just keep sending more goons.”

“Then we have a while to plan for our next heist.” Hongjoong grinned at his members. “For now we can save this town from them.” 

“We've done this before. It's nothing new. You all already know how it goes.” He shrugged it off like it was nothing. 

“What did we get from the homes?” Yunho asked.

“From Quaid's house we found letters to Z.” Yeosang explained. “They talk about how stupid the mayor here is and how easy it was to manipulate them. He also has some letters between Hendricks. The sheriff knows about Strickland.” He added.

“How can we get them both out then?” Seonghwa asked. “Klein has nothing to do with it obviously.”

“We should go to him first and reveal everything.” You spoke up.

“You think he'll listen?” San raised a brow.

“He's an idiot as Quaid says.” You pursed your lips. “I don't think it'll be hard to make him see what he's been doing.”

“How do we get Hendricks to resign?” Wooyoung questioned. 

Your lips twitched at the mention of that man. For as long as you could remember you never really had any bad blood with him. Only had the chance to watch him from afar during church hours and the likes. You never really paid attention to the way he did his job. You didn’t bother to get involved with those kinds of affairs obviously. 

You did hear gossip rumors from the saloon’s patrons though. How they heard that the sheriff would take bribes to keep from giving the rich tickets or taking their taxes. It wasn’t your business–not until he came to arrest you for someone mistaking you as a criminal. 

And maybe you were one now, but it was for a good cause. Back then you were saving that girl, and she understood what you did at that point. She understood what it was like to be in that position with nothing else to do. She had been thankful you were there to save her but she regretted saying anything with how the sheriff seemed to have twisted her words. It wasn’t her fault but you knew there was something wrong with Hendricks that day.

“We will have to ask Klein for help. I'm sure he has dirt on the man.” You answered. 

“I never trusted him.” Jongho sneered. 

“No one did.” Yeosang retorted. 

“We have to move now.” Hongjoong got up, getting his gun ready. “I'm positive Quaid has caught on and will be skipping town soon. Have to catch him before he can leave.” He locks his pistol into place, giving all of you a glance. 

“Doll, you're gonna need to keep your family safe.” Mingi mentioned. “If they have your dad in custody they'll probably try to get them to tell them things. Bring them here for now.” He told you.

You suddenly remember how your father told you to take care of them. To run from the town with the boys and your family. But you couldn’t just leave him behind when he wasn’t the one who did it. It had been you and your family was caught up in your problems. 

The boys knew what it was like to feel guilty for dragging others down into your own problems. They had brought so many people down in their mistakes–caused some to lose things that meant so much to them–but in the end they knew good things had come from them. They understood that in order to make things right there were going to be something that would go wrong. It was for the greater good, they would tell themselves. 

But in this moment they had the chance of saving your family and keeping them from getting hurt. It was best to do what they could to keep you from feeling worse than you already did. You meant a lot to them and they would rather loose than see you upset over something that happened in their watch. 

“Okay.” You sighed.

“We'll keep them safe.” Hongjoong walked up to you, bringing your head forward to place your forehead against his. “You have my word.”

“It's not them I'm worried about.” You whispered, pulling back to look Hongjoong in the eye. 

“Like I said. We've done this a bunch of times. We know how things go now.” The captain grinned. 

You trusted them wholeheartedly, to the point that you were sure if they asked you to do something you would. You knew your family was more than safe in their care. Even if they were going to be with you the whole time, you were sure they would keep your family in a place where no harm would come to them. Not on their watch. 

You didn’t know what they had planned up their sleeves–you honestly didn’t even know what you were going to do. But you knew that you had one thing on your mind and that was to take your father out of prison. And to do that you had to get to Hendricks first. Your anger towards him was what fueled your passion to reach what you needed. 

And you were more than ready with the boys standing behind you. 

“Let's go.” 

Series Masterlist

@thefrog3223 , @iarayara , @0rangemilk , @explorewithd , @detectivedoodle , @bangtanxberm , @a1i33a , @loveforred , @drunken-deitence , @0325tiny , @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest , @atinyreads , @atinytinaa , @lexiigom , @smilingtokki , @mismatchfluffysocks , @brain-empty-only-draken , @sousydive , @alex-tinyy , @h3arteyes4mingi , @onedumbho3 , @popcatx0 , @blue1amory , @mommahwa1117 , @sunnyhokyu , @cloudieclair , @puppyminnnie

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom. So Next ep (4x22) will be on Friday this week. So I'll post Sunday for 5x01. Didn't want to post my usual next Monday on Christmas just as an FYI. Let's get started. Ahhh we only have 2 left in this season. Last two are huge. This one is more geared towards Lucy and her feelings. With Ashley thrown in the mix. Lucy’s feelings for Tim that are getting harder to conceal by the day. This is a good one heavy content after such low one for last two. So let’s get going.

4x21 Mother’s Day

We start off with problem number one. I mean Chris. Lucy telling him it’s a hard pass on meeting his parents. Not just no. 'HARD PASS' Damn Lucy straight up shutting his ass down. Her commitment issues are glaring in this scene. You can tell by her body language alone. Look at how uncomfortable she is as they’re talking about this subject. Touching the back of her neck. Her hand lingering near her tattoo. She is not feeling this conversation one bit.

To her Chris isn’t serious enough to be even remotely near that. Also she doesn't care enough either. Never close to that kind of commitment. Never was… i.e. 5x08 and all that. He is the definition of a convenience relationship. Also the man is blind when it comes to reading her properly. She says no and he pushes it. Then when he doesn’t get what he wants basically scolds her for it. Her face when he says ‘I figured you’d say that.’ Like why you asking then mofo? He gets under my skin like no other…

This next portion is jealously personified oh my lord. Mostly on Lucy’s part. Clown and Lucy walk up to Tim/Ashley discussing a trip. Lucy immediately needing to know if they’re planning a vacation. Chris being clued in for once is shocked she’s asking about it. Look at the man's eyebrows in the first gif. They say yes Hawaii. Chris goes right back to being the clueless idiot. He says he loves Hawaii but never been.... Why do you even speak man? Useless info from a useless human being.

Ashley starts spouting on about beaches and crap no one cares about tbh ha Lucy is not really listening anyways. You can tell she’s tuned out and is in analysis mode. Melissa is conveying so much with just her eyes in that second gif. She is jelly belly. Look at her watching them and trying to digest this moment. Her jealously starts here and doesn’t end till we reach Tim’s prank.

Chris tells her to call him if she changes her mind. Lucy just wards him off and says she won’t. No means no schmuck. Tim tries to ask her about that comment and Lucy deflects. She doesn’t care about Chris’s parents. Her one and only focus is about him. Needing to know whose idea it was for Hawaii? Tim being clueless to her inquiry just says mine I guess why? Lucy doesn’t get to finish her thought because they run into Harper.

Lucy mentions she thought she had the day off? Nyla says she did but Donovan is being a prick about the holiday. That he took Lila to see his mom for Mother’s Day. All the way in Santa Barbara. Leaving Nyla childless for Mother’s Day. Doing it as revenge. What a dick. Lucy says that’s really cruel even for him. Harper mentions James is taking his boys to see his ex-wife cause he’s a decent human being LOL

That at least she’s being paid time and a half to plot her revenge. Tim having slight respectful fear of her says he can wait to see what she comes up with haha Lucy joining him saying they should sell tickets. Their faces in those gifs are primo. I also love their shared looks as they leave. Damn they’re cute together. The most married looks as they’re leaving I cannot stand it. Knowing not to mess with Nyla today of all days. Best they can do is just get the hell out of there ha

We rejoin them in the shop. We watch Lucy struggle with wanting to get her thoughts out. You can tell she is nervous and scared of the answer she might get. Watching her body language alone during this scene is so telling. It's showing she is dying inside. That this is eating at her so much. Not once has Lucy ever thought Ashley was the right one for him. Now there is this potential he could be thinking about proposing to her... and it's making her sick to her stomach.

She is trying to contain her meltdown about this as best she can. Also like to note while Lucy builds up her courage in the first gif Tim is not stressed whatsoever. LOL Just thinking it's a normal day as they get out on the road. Living his best life while Lucy has her internal battle in the first gif. Lucy finally gets the guts to ask the question burning a hole in her stomach.

One that is making her nauseous. If he’s proposing to Ashley? She says it all high pitched. Clearly so very nervous of his potential answer. Tim seems blind sided by the question. The way he raises his eyebrows kills me. Saying no... They’ve only been dating a few months. Interesting you date Lucy for a few weeks and give up your career path to stay near her…Almost like she isn’t the one but we’ll get there haha

Lucy tells Tim he needs to be careful of the signals he’s sending. He asks her what she means? What kind of signals? She says the kind that makes her get a manicure. So that she can send pictures of a ring to all her friends. The way his eyes bug out in horror. Yeah there’s a man ready for the altar… The thought of marrying Ashley putting him in an absolute panic. That’s your soulmate right there Tim…better lock that down....They get interrupted by dispatch before they can continue. Lucy is enjoying his panic about it though. To her that means that’s not where they’re headed. So for now her freakout simmers down from a boil.

They return to the station to sync up with Angela. Their earlier call is linked to her situation from this morning. She was at a Mother’s Day brunch with Patrice and they got held up at gun point. These punks stole her Mother’s Day gift and terrified her MIL. Harper comes in like a bat out of hell. It’s pretty hilarious tbh. I love how Tim and Lucy just stand there as they plot Donovan’s demise. Her deserves it.

Talking about curses and such. They’re so chaotic together and it makes me so happy. I always enjoy their scenes though. Tim saying they should leave before become accessories. heh I love him being low key scared of Angela it’s the best. Also could they be any closer to each other as they leave? It’s like you guys want me to point this stuff out haha

Lucy is visiting with Patrice and she’s giving her solid mom advice. I love it so much. Saying her mom has to be the one to make the amends not her. Lucy seems so grateful for the advice. It's a super sweet mini moment. Tim walks in complaining about hotel prices. Lucy comes over and he has her look at his phone. (not a wifey thing to do at all...)Then tells him that’s not a bad deal. That if he wants cheaper he's gonna have to do Honolulu motel 6 LOL How romantic.... Patrice says Oh, Going to Hawaii? Congrats on his engagement.

Lucy is loving being right. She is beaming with smugness really. Saying ‘Ah told you!’ Tim tells her he’s not getting engaged. He’s so adamant about it. Patrice asks if his GF knows that? They have serious old married couple vibes in this scene. Especially when Patrice asks if he’s really this clueless? Her reply is absolute gold. Flirting with him right in front of Wesley’s mom LOL

I’m sure she’s thinking why aren’t these two together? The chemistry from their banter alone is enough to think that. He doesn’t even fight her just sighs. Accepting his fate with her in these situations. God they’re so married and adorable I cannot stand it. Soulmate material right here folks. Front and center. Lucy smiling as he walks away. She loves her goober so very much. Splashed all over her face.

Angela gives them an update on their crime spree couple. Saying their next target was a bridal shop. Lucy makes a pot shot at Tim. Angela perks right up and is confused as hell. Tim wards Lucy off and says to ignore her. We watch Lucy get agitated. The whole idea of Tim getting engaged is not sitting well with her in the slightest.

Now this is what I find the most interesting about this scene. After Tim says that Angela isn’t watching Tim’s reaction. She’s watching Lucy’s. Look at how she gauges Lucy. Can see she is deeply irritated. Her Chenford radar going off. She’s intuitive af I mean she’s a detective she has to be but still LOL She is reading what Lucy is projecting in this moment and is surprised Tim isn’t….

When they’re back in the shop Lucy continues to push her luck with this subject. Poking the bear just a little bit more. Saying the website she’s on says Hawaii is the #1 place to get married. Tim retorting back there’s no way she thinks he’s proposing. Lucy presses on because she can’t help herself. Say he’s of a certain age LOL His reaction to that is too damn funny. Like excuse me love?

Lucy adds in that Ashley is in her prime. That on paper this makes sense. That it’s a no brainer really. (Love the little tongue flick in that gif btw. Yum.) It’s coming off as teasing when Lucy low key needs to know. She has to have answers to all this. Also she is in quite the panic. Not hiding it well at all in order to get them. Lucy puts the final nail in the coffin of her anxiety with her next question. Asking if he can see himself married to her?

It’s the hesitation that says everything to me. He takes a few beats before replying. Lucy is anxiously awaiting his reply. Fidgeting with her phone as the silence stretches. Hoping its more of the 'No' he was giving her earlier. He finally answers like it’s a business transaction. Not someone he loves...Saying yeah he can. Lying liar who lies Timothy Bradford. SMH. This response it’s like wanting a specific meal and the restaurant is out. So they offer you something of lesser value. You’re hungry so you go with it. That’s Ashley. She is the lesser value of Lucy. Tim knows it. So he is settling with this relationship.

Why you ask? Because it’s safe and comfortable. Just like Lucy is with Chris. Also in the back of his head he knows he can never be with Lucy like that. Or so he thinks. He too felt that spark in 4x01 too. Has also been suppressing those thoughts all season. So what helps? A distraction. I.e. Ashley. I looked up settling just to have a good definition. "Settling isn't a choice people happily make for themselves. Often, people settle out of fear. It could be the fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, or even fear of rejection, and, in light of that, settling can feel like the safest choice." Definition of his relationship with Ashley especially going forward after this ep.

He sounds so unconvincing I don’t know Tim even believed what he just said. What Tim is doing here the epitome of settling at this point with Ashley. I don’t think one bit he actually wants to marry her. So much as he needs the companionship. Something he thought he could live without before Lucy. Then she brought Rachel into his life. He realized he could do this again. That he even missed it. So he may put off this lone wolf vibe but our boy just wants to be loved. So he will settle for any love he can get even if it’s not right for him. Which hurts my heart on a deep level.

We shoot back to Lucy. His reaction seems meh but hers is another story. She very much believes him and looks devastated. This episode is her epiphany episode IMO. Where all these feelings she felt launch for Tim during the 4x01 hug are bubbling up to the surface. She's been trying all season to tamp it down. To push it away thinking if she did it would just go away. Not how feelings work my friend.

I saw the funniest tag(s) for this set when I was looking for gifs. Couple people used it actually. Said it felt like Lucy was playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes LOL That is this scene. She went hunting for answers and only came up with heartbreak and sadness. Her plan was to validate her feelings about this whole thing. All it did was blow up in her face. She’s teased him the entire episode. She inadvertently made him seriously think about this.

She then got an answer she did not want… (none of us did) This is the absolute opposite of how she was with Rachel. She truly wanted Tim to be happy with her. News like this would’ve made her happy back in S2. Because Rachel was Lucy 2.0. Sad fact is Ashley is no where near right for Tim and she knows it. Also so much as transpired between them since S2. Her feelings being one of them. That makes this reaction she is having even more intense.

If Tim looked over he would’ve seen the devastation. It’s the most transparent she’s been all season long. Lucy has been a clear glass window this entire season with him. Yet this moment stands out as her most telling IMO. Lucy asked what she was scared to really get an answer for. Then got back a reply she was dreading. The last one above gets me the most. Melissa I commend you for it. So much being expressed here.

The way she is processing what’s he’s told her. The emotions coursing through her body. The twitch of her mouth trying to keep herself in check. Looks like she wants to scream or cry or possibly both. Shake Tim and say WTF are you thinking? Most of all she is just hurt. Not taking this kind of info in stride and realizing she is not. Like that dog with the house on fire sitting there with his coffee. ‘This is fine….’ I feel like sums up her emotions for this inquiry she made.

These are just great action shots of our couple in the field. They catch up to the crime spree couple. They're getting married in this really pretty church. Hijacked someone's wedding. Look how close they are as they fire back. Could take his own position but no lets share cover hehe I love the unnecessary touching she does on her way to catch the wife. It wasn’t necessary to touch him Lucy. Yet I’m here for it 100 %. That building is so beautiful BTW What a lovely place to get married. I hope whenever they get married someplace pretty like this. Or maybe won't be a church at all. Idc where as long as they're married ha

Ashley is waiting for him outside the station after his shift. She asks how his day was? He says good but Lucy was particularly annoying today. Please Timothy. Like you didn’t enjoy all of that attention from her. Do like Ashley defending Lucy and saying 'I'm sure that's not true.' Tim notices her new nail color and mentions it. Ashley says yeah she just got them done. The panic on this man’s face. LMFAO You’re a liar sir about wanting to marry her. 'Yeah I can' my ass.

Tim tells her he needs to clear the air about something. That there was a reason Lucy was so annoying today. She was convinced taking her to Hawaii meant a proposal. He panics some more and says 'You don’t think that right? Cause I’m not... 'Crashing and burning you handsome fool. She puts a finger to his lips and tells him to shush. That this isn’t what she was expecting at all.

That if he had she would’ve just said no… because she has no interest in being married ever. That she doesn’t want kids either. She's not wired that way. Now to me this should’ve been the end of the relationship for Tim. These are all things Tim wants out of a relationship. She is basically telling him exactly what she wants out of this. What she doesn’t want as well. She’s being honest and upfront. It’s up to Tim to tell her he wants those things out of a relationship. That this isn't going to work based on that.

He wants marriage and kids. I’m not an Ashley fan don’t get me wrong. I know the fandom didn’t like her. I sure wasn’t pleased with her being around. But she tells him right here and now she doesn’t want marriage. Not only that she doesn’t want kids. I don’t think that makes her selfish. It just makes her incompatible with Tim. It's actually self inflicted wound for Tim to continue dating her. Knowing he wants those things. She is a woman who knows what she doesn’t want and is telling him as such. That's what you do when you're dating someone. So you see if your values and life goals align. Their's very much don't.

I do think this moment is on Tim 100 %. We’ve seen him have communication problems in past relationships. Not telling his former SO's exactly how he is feeling. This relationship is extended due to lack of communication in this moment. Look at this man. He is deflated she doesn’t want these things. His response and body language is screaming disappointment. Unfortunately Ashley fails to read this. He should’ve told her he wants all those things.

Sadly he doesn't... the reality is he’s settling as I stated before. He is faking it with her. Saying that this is ok with him. It’s one thing not to be ready to marry someone. It’s another to realize this relationship has no future for him. He doesn’t want to be alone. This is a safe enough relationship to commit to so he does. Even if it’s stealing all his dreams away from him. Which makes me so sad for him. Because he thinks this is it for him. Which is why S5 is huge for him. But I'll gush about that when we get there. You know I love my Tim but staying in his relationship and having it last longer is on him. Instead of walking away because they aren't right for each other.

Tim sees Lucy is watching and is a little shit. He asks Ashley if she’ll do him a favor? First off kudos to Melissa once again for conveying so very much with just a look. Tim is making sure he’s looking over at her as he ‘proposes.’ If you look at his face you can see his eyes flit over to her. Pranking is their love language. But if Tim had looked over after he 'proposed' he would see a heart breaking. I think it’s here Lucy is realizing her feelings for Tim.

Because she is reacting like someone who is in love. Lucy is now heartbroken thinking Tim is getting married. Her person is getting married. To the wrong person. She is beyond crushed really. If you looked up devastated in the dictionary that gif should be there. Lucy is so gone for him at this point and its hitting her like a ton of bricks. I mean her behavior this entire episode reflects that. This is a painful epiphany for her.

It was something that was on a low simmer in the back of her brain all season. Now its been pulled to the forefront and is boiling over. I think she is having a million thoughts racing through her mind right now. That he is far more than just her friend and co-worker. He is her best friend and she's in love with him. That is the face of someone who is crushed her person is going to marry someone else. Be bound to Ashley. When she is the right person for him not her.

Chris comes up babbling about his mom and Lucy has checked out. She is there in body but her mind is outside with Tim. In the first gif we can see her trying to reset. To care that her current BF is in front of her. That she isn't having a emotional spiral about her best friend getting married. She’s scrambling to assemble her thoughts and emotions. Lucy is so flustered and trying to give a crap about Chris's existence. She’s so visibly upset and Chris once again doesn’t read her well.

It’s then she gets Tim’s text we see relief flood over her. Then instant anger as Tim waves at her as they leave. If I was Ashley I would be questioning why my boyfriend wanted to trick his ‘platonic aide’ into thinking they’re engaged…but ok. She ignores Chris further and goes to hunt down Angela to curse Tim LOL Once again how Chris and Ashley didn’t see how in love these two idiots were I’ll never know. Especially Chris my god. Lucy was so very transparent this entire season with Tim.

Also she just straight ignored you son. So focused on wringing Tim’s neck after upsetting her. But sure man bring up your parents she didn’t want to meet LOL Not once did she acknowledge his conversation. Her only goal getting back at Tim. Leaving Chris just standing there like clueless dope he is.... Such good episode though. Especially for Lucy. This is her 'Uh oh epiphany moment.' about her feelings for Tim. All came to a head when she thought he was getting married. So good.

~~~~

Side notes non-chenford

I love Donovan’s mom bringing Lilah to Nyla. Acknowledging want a douche her son was being. Couldn’t allow them to be apart on Mother’s Day.

Also Patrice spending the day dispensing advice to everyone LOL Loved it. Wish could've included her advice to Lucy but ran out of room.

Thank you for everyone who’s been on. This journey with me. I can’t believe next ep Is the S4 finale. Insane. all of your like, comments and reblogs make my entire day. I love every single one of them. See you all in 4x22 :)

[allegras-sunflower]

RIP Ana Clara Benevides. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💖

I have read alot of people posts how disappointed they were with the situation.

Like that one Reddit post on swiftlyneutral. I can't post the link. But the title says:

What are your thoughts on what happened at the Eras tour in Brazil? Do you even know about it?

The post is very recent.

And couldn't Taylor Swift do something before the show? Didn't she know the heat? That fans weren't allowed to bring water in it? What would she have risked if she cancelled the show? A fine? She can pay for it. Disappointed fans? Better than dead fans.

I remember watching a youtube video of Michael Jackson when he got his Hollywoodstar and he made an appearance. There was a huge crowd and people were pushing eachother, some got hurt. He left after a short time. One fan voiced his disappointment that he only shown up for like few seconds or minutes and left. But looking back it was good that he left that none of them got seriously injured. He also got parademics at his shows because people were passing out.

Or Madonna who had a concert just recently in front of like 1.6million people. I don't hear anybody dying. ? And for such a large amount of people at one spot. There sure had to be safety measurement taken before the show.

When a fan of Rihanna died. Not at her show. Rihanna paid for the funeral.

Does Taylor Swift really care about her fans? Or does she care more about how her fans view her? And as an artist isn't it her responsibility that her fans are save at her show? Of course she can't stop any inconvience. But extreme heat is literally something she could have known days before!

This whole thing felt like Taylor didn't really care about Ana. She can't be the music industry the biggest superstar in the whole world but be a helpless little girl who is used by her concert promoters and can't even decrease ticket prices.

And Taylor made this parasocial relationship with her fans. So she atleast should have cared more. Or showed that she cared. It seems like she only sees her fans as numbers.

There was another show, in Buenos Aires, right before the show were Ana Clara died, that TS had to cancel too because of a storm. Now, due to the subtropical climate, storms in Buenos Aires can be quite strong and dangerous. The fans, most of them underage girls, stood in line under the electrical storm up until the time the venue doors were supposed to open. Then and only then, TS announced (mind you, half an hour after the city government did) that the show would be rescheduled. So what happened in Río after was not an isolated incident, TS had a bit of a pattern endangering her fans.

Now, I talked extensively about Ana Clara's death in this blog, and I don't wanna repeat myself and become annoying for it. But for those of you who don't know, my family on my dad's side is Brazilian, my own grandmother has been badly hit by the floods going on in the south, my little sister went to the show after Ana Clara's death. That's why TS's mistreatment of Brazilian fans and fans of color in general hurts SO FUCKING MUCH. Because it's fucking personal. I did not only felt heartbroken because of what happened to Ana Clara, it was absolutely devastating. I know it was just a footnote on the international news, but not here. Here we read the declaration of the young nurse that kept on the CPR maneuvers for over an hour because they refused to let Ana Clara die. We read the statement of Ana Clara's family denying TS or her team had reached out to them when the news were starting to say TS was in talks with them. We KNOW TS's team didn't pay for ANYTHING and didn't reach out to them until over a week later. We saw it all go down on real time, my little sister was certain TS would make a moment of silence for Ana Clara only to be let down when she rushed the show so not even the people attending could do one.

So, let this be your confirmation. Taylor Swift does NOT care about her fans. At least not about her fans of color.

Please, never stop talking about Ana Clara Benevides Machado. Never stop sharing her picture. And never forget that, if you're a POC, TS doesn't care about you. Not even if you're a VIP ticket holder, like Ana Clara was.

[captain-mj]

So, Captain, since you wont tell us why so many people keep leaving your place with bones, how about you tell us about how the 141 spied on Price and Graves on their first date because they dont trust Graves 🧐🕵

Listen, i've told ya once, i've told ya twice, i ain't telling ya again. I don't know about the bones

Soap heard about the date and knew what must be done.

"We have to spy on them." He announced.

Gaz nodded. "Oh, absolutely. What if Graves tries to do something to Price? I don't even get why he agreed to go on the stupid date.”

Ghost, who knew a little more than he was letting on, nodded. "I'm always up for spying."

Soap planned it out, treating it like any other mission. “Operation: Heartbreakers. Our objective: Protect Price from Graves if he tries anything. Secondary objective: Gather information.”

Ghost hummed. "Is all of this really necessary?

"Yes. Ghost, you'll be doing what you do best and blending in. Hiding in the shadows. Gaz has already hacked their phones, brilliantly done by the way, and got their plans. Simple date. Restaurant first and then a movie. Nothing too big. Ghost will be watching in the restaurant and ill be in the movie theater.”

“And why do i have to be in the restaurant?”

“Easy. It’s more difficult to go stealth there. Price chose a rather dim one so it’ll be easy for you to blend in.”

"Dim?" Ghost asked.

"Apparently its mostly candlelit." Gaz shuddered. "Its rather romantic."

"Stupidly romantic for a traitor." Soap nodded. "Gaz, you'll be on the headset. Unfortunately, I was not able to scrounge up cameras but I assumed we could relay the information to each other. If Graves is planning to do anything, we can rendezvous quickly." He nodded and straightened up. "Everyone understand your assignments?"

Gaz nodded. "Mission accepted, Soap."

"Mission accepted." Ghost echoed. What the hell. It would be fun.

Ghost put his headset in and relaxed at the restaurant. He sat opposite of them and far enough away he wouldn't be visible. Instead of his skull mask, he wore a simple back medical one, something common in the area. His hood stayed over his head.

"What are they doing?" Gaz asked, currently at base where they would be coming back to.

"Talking."

"About what?" Soap asked, already in position in the theater.

"I don't know. I'm not close enough."

"Can you get closer?"

"No, Sergeants, I cannot. Now can both of you shut up." Ghost watched them. "Graves just touched his hand."

"Whore."

Ghost laughed softly. "Uh... I think he's tracing the lines in his palm? Oh, Price has a couple of scars on his hand, I think he's touching those."

"Price has scars on his hand?"

"Yeah. Someone stabbed a knife through it once. Left hand so it didn't affect his aim."

"Huh. Never noticed."

"You two should pay more attention then." Ghost watched them talk for a while, only making comments when something interesting happened like Price laughed or when Graves pulled up his sleeve to show the tattoos up and down his arm. Ghost couldn't quite make out what they were from here.

"They seem to be having a good time."

Soap hummed. "Stay on guard. Just in case."

Ghost shook his head and they started to leave. "They are on the move." Price paid for their food.

"Prepare yourself gentleman." Gaz spoke up. "Ghost, make sure to make a quick escape."

Ghost didn't try very hard honestly. They weren't on guard so neither noticed him trailing after him. He watched them buy tickets, noting that Graves paid for them and also got them drinks.

"They seem to be going dutch on the bills." Ghost noted. "Is it better or worse?"

Soap responded quickly. "Slightly better. Price isn't being bribed or taken advantage of it seems."

Ghost hummed. "What movie are they watching?"

"Some pretentious horror movie."

"Which one?"

"I don't know."

Gaz thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I'm coming in. I refuse to sit out here for two hours bored."

Ghost bought two tickets and handed one of them to Gaz when he got there, walking in with him. They sat on either side of Soap who looked a bit upset his plan was being interrupted. The three of them were four rows behind Price and Graves.

Price put his arms around Graves and Graves leaned into him. They were talking quietly during the commercials.

"They're... kinda cute." Gaz said softly.

Soap frowned. "A little."

Ghost hummed. "Maybe Price will be good for Graves. And vice versa."

"How could Graves possibly good for Price?"

"Makes him happy. He hasn't dated in a while."

Gaz shushed them. "Movie is starting."

They all mostly watched the movie, sparing glances at the two lovebirds. Price leaned in and said something against Graves's ears, hand on the back of his neck. Graves leaned into him, putting his head on Price's shoulder. They were snuggled up closer to each other and Soap hummed.

"You think Price is copping a feel?"

"Shut your dirty fucking mouth." Gaz hissed at him.

"Just saying." Soap muttered.

The movie eventually ended and they quickly left so Price and Graves wouldn't notice them. They waited outside and watched them start to walk.

Price and Graves held hands, their joined hands swinging between them. They were both laughed, bumping into each other. Graves had a small limp due to the tank explosion so he ended up bumbling into Price a few times, looking embarrassed. Price ended up putting his arm around him instead, hand on his hip. Graves blushed brightly and they all heard him.

"What a gentleman, Captain." His southern accent was definitely being played up, he also sounded so flustered.

"Only for you, Commander." Price purred.

Gaz and Soap made a face. Ghost also pulled a face but no one could see it.

"So he hasn't done anything yet." Soap relented. "But I was just worried! Graves is still a bad guy."

They ended up looking around a corner as Price and Graves walked to their hallway.

"Should I walk you to your room or do you think you can find it?" Price smiled at him, the two of them standing right outside his door.

Graves smiled and flirted back. "I think I could find it, though your room definitely seems better right now."

Gaz and Soap gasped. Silently, but still.

Graves leaned up and gave Price a goodnight kiss. "So, a second date?" He sounded ridiculously hopeful, batting his eyelashes.

Ghost went to talk but Price interrupted by kissing Graves, pulling him closer by his belt loops. Price put his hand on his lower back and pulled him flush to his chest. "Stay the night?"

Graves quickly went in Price's room. Price turned directly to them and gave them a thumbs down before following him.

"That somehow hurt worse than if he yelled at us." Soap grumbled.

Gaz looked up at Ghost. "Lieutenant... Is Price a whore?"

"I didn't want to have to tell you guys the truth about him... But yeah. A little." Ghost put his hand on Gaz's shoulder. "I'm sorry."