#also dean was hot until jess showed up i said what i said

[voidsuites]

rewatching gilmore girls to refresh for monday… sookie 😍😍 luke 😍😍 rory 😍😍 lorelai 😍😍 jess 😍😍😍

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤

SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING

I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).

The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.

Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby. 

Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants. 

Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones. 

I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that. 

Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that. 

*Breathes*

Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations. 

[thegeminisage]

[image id: @alcatrazoutpatient submitted So this is a bit out of the blue but… when do you think Sam realized that Dean was into men? I’ve got this headcanon that he didn’t start to get hints of Dean liking Cas until season 6, mainly because season 1-5 was able him figuring out that Dean didn’t actually want to live and die as a hunter/actually wants the ‘apple pie life.’ I figure that he questioned it all through season 7, but Benny is what really confirmed to Sam that Dean was bi. I’d love to hear your thoughts, though. end id]

having grown up with a sibling close in age my kneejerk instinct is to say there was never a time sam didn’t know or at least suspect?? that being said i think he had too much going on to constantly be thinking about dean’s bullshit prior to leaving for school, so there are a few times i could see him either suspecting or having it outright confirmed during the show. i’ll do these in chronological order

gordon. wrow

nightstick scene in folsom prison blues. im saying slurs at him rn

every interaction he ever had with victor henriksen

the male siren in season 4. “brotherly siren” yeah ok [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]

in season 6 when dean was WEIRDLY insistent that cas COULDNT be betraying them

when cas died at the end of season 7 and dean took it weirdly hard especially considering he did not die as someone they called an ally

in season 8 with benny. cathy insists sam had to have known by then so he could wonder if killing them both counted as a hate crime. i think that. sam should be allowed to kill them both in season 8. they were such dicks <3 sorry i flip-flop being pro-benny and anti-benny depending on the episode

in season 8 when dean was THAT into larping

in season 11 when his interest in amara, who is super hot, had to be forced out of him

in season 11 when cas got possessed and dean was FRANTIC to get him back

there is absolutely no way sam did not know with total certainty dean liked men and liked cas specifically by the time cas died at the end of season 12. however i also 110% think this is when DEAN realized dean liked men and liked cas specifically (you will pry this from my cold dead hands) so i have a very evil headcanon where sam is like trying to be a bro he’s trying to be UTTERLY matter of fact about it and not make a big deal and he’s like you know i know losing cas was hard it’s hard to lose someone you love like that when i lost jess and dean is like what? WHAT? and then he has a second mental break upon realizing he’s been in love with cas for years

anyway, in the name of siblinghood, i think the most important thing to know is that once dean comes out of the closet sam is allowed to be homophobic at him. yes <3

[spn masterpost]

[holylulusworld]

Shadow of my past lover

Summary: Returning to your hometown is harder than you thought.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester

Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, flirty Dean, cocky Dean, sad reader, heartbreak, mentions of a break-up, a hint of fluff, tension

Divider by  @firefly-graphics​

“How long, Y/N? How long did you hide out there in the middle of nowhere?” Sam wraps you in a hug, almost crushing you. “It’s been too long if you’re asking me.”

“Fifteen years, I think,” looking up at the tall man you can’t hide the smile creep onto your lips. “You grew like a weed, Winchester. If only I knew you would become a hot guy,” you grin, patting your friend’s cheek.

“Dean will freak out,” you frown, and your body goes stiff when Sam, your best friend from childhood, mentions his brother. “Still mad at him? Will you ever tell me what happened back then? One day you just broke up. Everyone couldn’t believe Dean was with that other girl. It was always you and him. I believed you would marry one day.”

“It was a nice dream,” shrugging you give Sam a sad smile. “Dean never told you why he broke up with me after the summer break that year?”

“No,” Sam shakes his head, wondering what could’ve gotten between you and his big brother. “Dean only told mom and dad he’s got a new girlfriend and that you broke up with him,” you scoff, shaking your head. Tears threaten to fall but you push them away.

“Classy, Dean. Not only did he lie, but he also dared to blame me too,” frustrated you kick a stone away, pacing back and front, wringing your hands. Sam remains silent, just gives you time to open up to him.

“Munchkin, what happened back then? We always wondered why you never came over again. Then you moved away with your parents and no one ever saw or heard of you again,” guiltily looking up at Sam you give him a soft pat to his scruffy cheek. “Dean did something stupid – right?”

“I came back, bouncing my legs as I missed your brother so much. Three weeks away from the boy I love were hell to me, Sammy,” you exhale.

“Dean and I, we-“ you bite your lip, looking away to find the right words. “A month before my parents forced me to spend my summer break in France, Dean and I had sex for the first time. He was my first, and we promised there will no one else.”

“I assume one of you broke the promise. And I might sound prejudging but I guess it was my brother,” Sam watches your face fall. “Oh, Y/N.”

“Anyways, we made a promise at the age of sixteen Sam. Young love and crap,” you shrug, eyes dropping to your shoes. “I kept it, you know. There was a cute boy in France. He was charming and well, a French boy. I loved his accent and sense of humor. If not for Dean, I could’ve fallen in love with him.”

“I see,” nodding thoughtfully Sam watches you pace around him. Your hands clutched to your sides you scream in frustration.

“I came back, barely unpacking my stuff as I wanted to meet up with Dean. I climbed up the tree, sneaked into his room but oddly, he wasn’t happy to see me,” sniffing you look at Sam. “I wanted to kiss and hug Dean, but he was distant. I knew, just knew something is off and asked him what happened.”

“I’m so sorry,” helpless Sam must watch you recall that night. He can see the pain flash over your face and wishes he could soothe you. “What happened?”

“Dean said one word – or rather name. Lisa, the new girl. You know the one we caught blowing Brady off behind the gym,” you huff. “Dean said he and that bitch got closer over summer and that she’s better in bed.”

“Ah, you son of a bitch, Dean,” Sam yells. “Sorry mom,” he grumbles, wrapping you in a hug. “That was a dick move, literally.”

“Dean excused his betrayal, you know. He said if I didn’t leave him for three weeks, he would’ve never cheated on me, that bastard,” gritting your teeth you hide your face in Sam’s chest. “I loved him so and he replaced me after not even three weeks.”

“Dean is an ass,” grunting his brother’s name Sam gently runs his hands up and down your back. “He had the perfect girl, the one, by his side. How could he mess up everything for a girl like Lisa?”

“The worst is –  my first time is tainted by his betrayal. Anytime a nice guy wants to go on a date with me, I ask myself – is he a nice guy or like Dean? Does he pretend to like me to get into my pants? Will he leave me after a few dates too.”

“The shadow of your former lover follows you,” nodding, you smile as Sam understands how you feel. “When Ruby cheated on me with that douche at Stanford, something broke inside of me. Jess, she was the one healing me.”

“I heard about your wedding plans, Winchester,” giggling you look up at Sam. “Shame you are off the market.”

“So, you are back in town to do what?” Sam watches you inhale sharply. “Do you want to shoot my brother or beat his ass to hell and back? I’d lend you a hand, you know.”

“Nah, it’s nothing, really. My parents want to renovate our old house. The last renter moved out and they want to sell it or hire it out again,” you explain. “I am here to check on the house and property.”

“I can help you later if you want me to,” holding out his hand Sam smiles when you place your hand into his large palm. He would never tell you so, but when you moved out of town, never looking back, you broke his heart a little too…

“Hello, sweetheart,” Dean opens his arms, waits for you to pounce on him to greet your former boyfriend but all he gets is a frown followed by an annoyed huff. “Sammy said you need help to check on your parent's house. Couldn’t believe you came to town and didn’t greet your favorite Winchester first.”

“My favorite Winchester is Sam, followed by your parents,” you snap at Dean. “I don’t know why you expected me to greet you, Dean. After all, I never was good enough for you anyways,” walking toward your parent’s house, keys pressed to your heart you ignore Dean follows you.

“Y/N, that was a lifetime ago,” grumbling Dean watches you unlock the door with trembling fingers. “I was a stupid boy back then. We both made mistakes and it ended up in a breakup.”

“We both made mistakes?” furious you spin around to glare up at Dean. “When did I make a mistake? While I was yearning for you in France? When I gave you my virginity? Or when I didn’t even unpack my shit to climb up the tree to be with you?”

“When you had something going on with that French douche,” Dean growls. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you fucked that asshole?” Dean is in your face, breathing heavily, while you try to find your words.

He is not the boy from back then anymore. In front of you stands an angry and aggressive man, a tall and bulky one.

“I did not fuck Pierre! He was nice, yes, but I would’ve never cheated on you, Dean. I took one picture with him, at a fucking museum. It was for his sister, as she didn’t believe him he mate a girl from the US!”

“He had his arm around you. Your best friend Bela showed us more pictures. You had a hot date with him on the beach. That douche had his arm around you on every picture!” Dean talks back.

Slowly losing your patience you drop your bag to fist Dean’s plaid. You don’t give a shit he pants heavily or that you can smell his cologne. 

“My mom took the fucking picture. She asked Pierre to wrap his arm around me. I was never alone with him, Dean. All I could think about was to get back to you – not fuck that boy!” 

“Bela said you fucked that guy!” 

“Bela didn’t say shit, Winchester! She always made stupid jokes. I bet she said I should fuck him or something. Why should my best friend tell you lies about me?” now it’s you who is in Dean’s face. You growl at him, pushing against his chest but unlike the boy from back then, the man in front of you won’t budge. “Damnit, you are too strong. Did you eat too much spinach?”

“I got frustrated over our breakup and started to train,” grunting Dean steps closer, forces you to move toward the door until your back hits the cool wood. “I thought you cheated on me and lied to you. I never was with Lisa before we broke up.”

“I don’t believe a single word leaving your treacherous tongue,” humming Dean watches you pick your bag back up. “Now get the fuck out of my sight.”

“Tongue,” Dean’s lips part to let his tongue swipe over his lower lip. You are engrossed in watching the skilled muscle taste what you longed to have for so long. “I know you always loved my tongue, sweetheart.” Dean husks before he crushes you with his body. His mouth hot against yours he pins your hands above your head. “Happy reunion, baby girl.”

“Get off me,” whining you part your lips to let Dean slip his tongue inside. “D’,” it’s a silent whimper, an unheard plea falling from your lips when Dean claims your soft pillows again.

“Do you know how many times I dreamed of kissing you again? I couldn’t believe I lost you to that French douche,” moaning your name Dean holds you there, pressed against the door, while your mind races and you can’t process Dean believed you cheated on him.

“I never even kissed that boy,” you sniff. “Why did you not ask me? Why hurting me deeply without any proof? Do you know what you did to me that night? You were the first boy I fell in love with, my first everything and you just told me I’m boring in bed and that I can’t compare to Lisa,” you cry, eyes filling with tears. 

“Back then, I tried to hurt you, Y/N. You hurt me, broke my heart,” glaring at Dean you purse your lips, ready to rip him apart. “I wanted to get back on you. I’m sorry.”

You growl, now fighting his hold on your hands you wiggle in his grip, shake your body to break free. 

“You asshole! Anytime a guy asked me out, I got nervous and believed he will think I’m awful at sex. I could never relax in bed with a guy. Most of the time I didn’t cum, too afraid he hates whatever I do.”

“Sweetheart,” nuzzling his face in your neck Dean sighs deeply. “I’m so sorry I ruined sex with other guys for you,” the smirk in his voice tells you otherwise, but you bite your tongue, waiting for your chance to hit his ugly face. (It’s not ugly but you try to convince yourself to hurt Dean.)

“I hate you so much, Winchester! It was your fault I had to move out of town. I cried the whole time, and my parents took the chance to finally move away. Fucking asshole,” Dean holds you pinned to the door, ignores you still fight him. “Lemme go. I need to check on my parents’ house.”

“You know,” a cocky grin on his lips Dean dips his head to roam your body with his eyes, “now that you are back in town, I could make things up to you.”

“How do you want to make up for breaking my heart for nothing? How will you give me back my self-confidence and make me feel like I’m sexy and desirable? There is nothing you can do about it,” you huff, frustrated.

“Sweetheart, I was stupid at the age of sixteen,” Dean admits finally releasing your hands to cup your face with the palms of his hands. “I know that I should’ve talked to you instead of listening to rumors.” 

He leans closer, stopping when his nose bumps into yours. You can see the freckles on his skin, can smell his minty breath but the worst is, you can feel his warm hands on your face, forcing your eyes to flutter shut.

“You broke me,” you whimper when his lips meet yours. With your eyes closed, you try to pretend you are still the kids from back then, but the way Dean kisses you and his rough hands on your skin reminds you he’s a grown man now. A handsome and cocky one.

“Baby girl,” Dean moans against your lips, only breaking the kiss to breathe again. “I broke my own heart by letting you go. I never was with someone I genuinely loved since our breakup. All this time I was with girls meaning nothing to me.”

“What do you want, Dean? It’s been fifteen fucking years,” your heart flutters anytime Dean looks at you, but you steel yourself to resist his natural charm. “We can’t turn back time and kick your ass for being a dick.”

“But,” he grins now, eyes dropping to your chest, “I could be a good former lover and make you cum for all the times you didn’t reach the peak with one of the douches you chose over me.”

“Dean Winchester,” hands-on your hips you glare up at Dean. “Don’t fuck with me! This isn’t funny nor something you can fix with your charm and a cocky grin. You hurt the young girl from back then deeply.”

“I know,” he sighs. “Let me make it up to you.” he pecks your cheek, smirking against your skin when you start to shiver. “I could start with telling you I never fucked Lisa. She was a boring chick, clingy, and had an annoying voice.”

“This doesn’t make me feel better at all,” grinning Dean watches you hide a smirk. “Only as you didn’t fuck her your behavior won’t be forgiven that easily.”

“Did the inquisition already begin?” Dean furrows his brows when Sam jogs toward you and his brother. “I wanted to film every moment, Y/N. Not cool, Munchkin. Restart and I can take some nice pictures.”

“Bitch, get out of my way. I had a nice conversation with Y/N,” hating his brother takes your attention away from him Dean glares at Sam. “Let me just make it up to my girl. I waited years to see her again. Hell, I even stalked her on Twitter, and I hate social media.”

“You should watch the old man try to play candy crush,” Sam smirks when he steps closer. “Give me the keys and I can have a look around while my brother tries to hit on you, Y/N.”

“Looks good,” humming you look around the kitchen. “You should let us check on the pipes, electricity and I could call Bobby to help us check on the roof,” Sam walks around the house, a clipboard in his hands to make notes. “The windows downstairs look good.”

“I will check Y/N’s former room with her,” Dean grasps for your hand to drag you upstairs. “How about you check the basement, Sammy? Take your time,” cursing under your breath you try to keep up with Dean.

“Hey, wait! I’m not that fast, Winchester,” you scold. “Dean!” before you can complain Dean picks you up in bridal style to run upstairs. You would yell at him, but you admire his strength and the way he holds you close to his chest. “Let me down.”

“Never again, sweetheart. Now that I got you back in my arms,” Dean smirks when you start to squirm in his hold, “I’ll never let you out of sight again…”

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@coffeebooksandfandom

@moosekateer13

@miss-nerd95

@caffeinefueledfangirl

@vicmc624

@mariaenchanted

@bxnnywriting

@lady-pswrld

@thinkaboutmara

@coldmuffinbanditshoe

@suckmyapplejacks

@princesssterek

@lexy586

@notbrooklynsblog

--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2

@supernatural-bellawinchester

@negans-lucille-tblr

@deans-baby-momma

@thefaithfulwriter

@squirrelnotsam

@roonyxx

@underthewrap

@deansgirl-1968

@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester

@butifulsoul125

@lyinginthegingerlocks

@champagneneen

@janicho88

@woodworthti666

@thevelvetseries

@dreaminemz

@akshi8278

@midnightsilver16830

@mrspeacem1nusone

@ria132love

@caligraphee

@the-witch-in-silence

@justanotherwinchester

@multisuperfandom

@jadesupernatural

@psychicforest

@luciathewinchestergirl

@magssteenkamp

@tranquility-or-chaos

@jxackles

@michellemxndes

@addictedtofictionalcharacters

@gabifernandessn

@waywardrose13

@team-free-will-you-idjiot

@myopiamystical​

@rintheemolion​

@bluecornflowers​

@rosalynshields​

@nihilismworld​

@peaches007​ 

@thoughts-and-funnies​

@lyarr24​ 

@givecki​

[cycwrites]

WIP Things aka Unofficial Fic Tease

In order to remind myself that I’ve left all of you hanging for the rest of my trilogy rewrite, I thought I would post my unbeta’d, unedited, good with the bad chapter 1 for the second movie. I also have hope that it will make me feel guilty for taking so damn long and get back to it. Especially since I’ve basically closed myself off from writing (and the muses) and I’m trying to pry the doors back open because I really do miss sharing my stories with you guys.

I wrote this well over a year ago, along with a 2nd chapter that deals with the Dean’s office, and really just hope you like it. 

--------

About Damn Time 

Chapter One: So That Happened

Word Count: 2600 -------- ~B~

At the end of Beca’s junior year, two things of note happened.

First: Chloe, once again, made the decision to stay with Beca and the Bellas and failed Russian Lit for the third time.  Beca had tried to talk her out of it, torn between wanting Chloe to move forward in her life beyond Barden and guilt that she was relieved they wouldn’t have to figure out how to work a long distance relationship. She wasn’t ready to try that and couldn’t imagine leading the group without her.  But Chloe had insisted this was where she’d wanted to be and she didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

Second: The Bellas were asked to perform at President Obama’s 50th birthday celebration at the Kennedy Center on August 8th.

Beca had laughed when the call had come through the never used landline at the Bella house.

“Good afternoon, this is Mack Johnson and I’m calling on behalf of the White House…”

“Yeah right. Nice try, Jesse.” She hung up and pulled out her cell phone as she walked into the kitchen. Pausing by the counter she typed out a quick message to him.

Beca: I’ve gotta give you points for originality though. You almost sounded like an actual adult.

She poured herself a glass of lemonade before he answered.

Jesse: I’m going to take that as a compliment and ignore the wound to my manly pride, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Beca: Whatever you say, ‘Mack.’ If you’d said you were calling from anywhere but the White House I might’ve let you keep talking.

Instead of answering via text, Jesse called her.

“Are you day drinking, Mitchell?” Jesse clucked his tongue. “Without your lesbro? I’m hurt, Becaw.”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Beca lifted her glass and took a sip. “What inspired your call today?”

“Uh, your cryptic and confusing texts to me, of course.” Jesse chuckled. “Want to clue me in?”

Beca sighed. “Man you’re committed to this.”

“To what?”

Beca set her glass on the counter. “Fine – you just called me and –” She jumped as the phone in the living room rang for only the second time in her years at Barden. “Pretended… to be… from the White House.”

“I thought you said you weren’t drinking?” Jesse laughed but it sounded distant as Beca watched Chloe answer the phone.

Her girlfriend’s blue eyes went wide and locked on Beca’s as she said, “I’m sorry, did you say you’re calling from the White House?”

“Jesse?” Beca said absently.

“Yes, Beca?” His voice took on an echo as all the blood drained from her face.

“I gotta go pass out now.” She swallowed dryly. “I’ll call you later.”

“Beca wa-”

Beca had remained frozen in the kitchen while Chloe became more and more animated, frantically scribbling down notes on the notepad sitting beside the phone, though her voice was carefully calm and collected. Then she’d run into the kitchen, screaming and jumping in excitement and talking faster than Beca’s shocked mind could process. Drawn by the commotion like a frat boy to a kegger, the rest of the girls soon joined the chaos while Beca still stood frozen by the counter as they swirled around her.

The school had allowed them to stay on campus through the summer so they could discuss songs and choreography. The time had been a whirlwind of security checks and practice and everything they planned needed to be vetted by the performance organizers. Of course, since they’d come to the Bellas after their third ICCA win in a row, there weren’t any real problems.

Until the night of the performance when one set of tangled silks and a desire for no panty lines wrecked everything.

No pun intended.

~B~ Sunday, August 24th, 2014

Beca lay on their bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to Chloe pace beside her.

“I’ve ruined everything.” Pace to the head of the bed. “Destroyed our reputation.” Pace back to the foot. “Made the Bellas a joke.”

Beca sighed and pushed herself up on her elbows. “Chloe. It’s a capella. It’s already a jo-” She stopped as Chloe spun to face her, outraged. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Beca tried a smile. “I was just trying to lighten the mood.” She let it slip when Chloe just stared at her and Beca dropped back down to gaze at the ceiling. “Won’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m the one who gave Amy the green-light to do ‘Wrecking Ball.’” Chloe resumed pacing.

“Because, despite most of her claims, she actually had done some training on the silks before coming to the states.” Beca countered, as she had for the past three weeks. “She was good on them and never once in our rehearsals did she get tangled up.”

“But-”

“No.” Beca cut her off and sat up, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged and face her. “We all agreed to let her do it. It was a group vote.” She softened her voice and held out her hand. “This isn’t all on you, Chlo.”

With a sigh, Chloe took her hand and let herself be tugged onto the bed. Beca stretched back out and Chloe settled against her side. “It feels like it.”

“That’s because you’re the one who looks out for us.” Beca gently rubbed her back. “No one could’ve predicted this, love.”

“No…” Chloe said grudgingly. “But…”

Beca cut her off again. “There’s no buts.”

“Except Amy’s.” Chloe huffed, tension that had begun to fade making her stiffen up again in Beca’s arms. “All over the news.” She groaned. “Why didn’t I just use the cloth I was freaking holding to cover her up?”

“Same reason I didn’t,” Beca said reasonably, having heard a version of this several times before. “My mind went blank and I couldn’t move. I just… kept waiting to wake up.”

“Same.” Chloe pressed her nose to Beca’s shoulder. ���I still am. This is such a nightmare.”

“She feels bad.” Beca offered. “It was her idea to do that press conference.” She winced as Chloe snorted.

“Yeah, where she then tried to show her ‘silk burn’ to the entire world.” Chloe sat up and pushed herself off the bed. “Again.” She resumed pacing and Beca’s mind hunted around for anything she could say to defuse things.

“At least we saved Aubrey’s college legacy from Pukegate?” Even as the words were out of her mouth Beca knew they were stupid and wrong.

“And ruined ours with Muffgate.” Chloe snarled.

“I wish I could find the asshole that came up with that. Bet it was those podcast people and of course everyone else jumped on it.” Beca made a face. “It was an accident and eventually there will be another crisis for them to focus on.” She slid over to the edge of the bed and swung her legs over. “It won’t be forever, Chlo.”

Pace, turn. “But tomorrow we go see the Dean.” Pace, turn. “With those podcast people who are apparently actually part of the Collegiate A Cappella Association.”

“They’re still weird and he’s an ass.” Beca stood up and stretched as she heard the door open at the bottom of the stairs. “Think you’ll be able to enjoy yourself at dinner tonight?”

Chloe stopped by the small table they inherited from Aubrey and took a deep breath. “Of course. It’s Amy’s birthday. I’m not going to ruin it for her.” She flashed Beca a small grin, the first in an hour. “Why do you think I’m up here instead of downstairs?”

“Speaking of,” a new voice said from the stairs. “There’s maybe… A situation.” Jessica smiled apologetically when they both looked at her as she reached the top.

Beca sighed. “Of course there is.”

“Do I even want to know?” Chloe pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Probably not, but Stacie sent me to get you.”

“Coward,” Beca muttered. “She knows I can’t hit you because you’re too nice.” She took a deep breath. “Okay, quick like ripping off a band-aid.”

“Amy’s sitting on the couch. With a towel on her lap.” Jessica hesitated.

“That’s… Why is that a big deal?” Chloe asked, confused.

“She’s… commando. Because of her silk burn.” The blonde’s shoulders bounced once but she didn’t say anything else.

“I swear to fucking god I’m going to glue underwear on her,” Chloe muttered under her breath.

Beca was struck by a horrible thought. “Is she sitting on another towel?”

“We were afraid she’d show us if we asked.” Jessica looked at Beca. “That’s when Stacie sent me to get you.”

“Why do I have to do it?” Beca knew she was whining but couldn’t help it.

“Because you’re the captain.” Jessica shrugged again. “You can threaten her with cardio if she tries to flash us again.”

“Yeah but Amy doesn’t always listen to me and I don’t want to have flashbacks.” Beca reluctantly headed for the stairs as Jessica started back down.

“Birthday or not…” Chloe muttered as she followed.

“I’m sure Lilly has a hot glue gun you can use,” Beca mused, not surprised to find Ashley hanging out in the hallway when they left the attic.

“Don’t tempt me.” Chloe didn’t say anything else the entire trip down the stairs.

Beca rounded the corner, passing Jessica and Ashley who had stopped in the entry and came to a halt herself, Chloe running into her back.

All she could see was the back of Amy’s head but she appeared to be looking straight at Lilly who sat cross-legged on the ottoman and staring back.

“Do I even want to know?” Beca turned her head toward Jessica but didn’t take her eyes off the scene.

“I didn’t ask that either,” came the whispered reply.

Beca took a bracing breath then walked into the living room. Despite the reassurance that the covering towel existed, Beca didn’t relax until she saw it for herself. It was nothing personal against Amy, but Beca just didn’t want to see any of the Bellas naked, Chloe being the obvious exception. You never knew when the visual would pop back in your head and Amy had already shown up enough in the past few weeks to last a lifetime.

“Amy.” Beca looked up at a sound from the kitchen and saw Stacie leaning in the doorway with Cynthia Rose and Flo sitting at the center island.

“Captain.” Amy didn’t turn her head or avert her gaze.

“Are you guys in a staring contest?” Beca frowned, looking between the two women. “And if so why?”

“I don’t know,” Amy lifted one shoulder. “All I know is she hasn’t blinked since she sat down and why take the risk of losing.”

Beca felt her eyes twitch at the thought. “Jesus, please cut it out before my eyes start watering.” She stepped between them and Amy closed her eyes in relief.

“Thanks, Shawshank. That was starting to burn.” She started to lift one corner of the towel to wipe her eyes and Beca threw out her hand.

“Nope. That stays there.” Chloe said it before Beca could.

“Please tell me you’re sitting on another towel.” Beca sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

“Of course I am!” Amy actually looked indignant. “I’m not a heathen, Beca.” She rolled her eyes. “The pants I want to wear to dinner are tight, so I’m giving my bits time to breathe first.”

“Now that’s in my head.” Cynthia Rose muttered from the kitchen.

“That’s in all our heads,” Ashley said from the doorway behind them.

“You could always wear that blue skirt,” Chloe offered diplomatically. “That way you’re not uncomfortable for your birthday dinner.”

“I do look hot in that.” Amy thought about it while the rest of them made sounds of agreement. “Alright, you’ve swayed me. And as it’s almost that time, guess I’ll go upstairs and change.” She started to stand as Beca moved back then paused. “If you’d all turn around and give me some privacy while I wrap?”

Beca rolled her eyes as she turned to face the front window that, thankfully, had the curtains drawn. “That’s what you get for being half naked in the public areas of the house.”

“I got bored in my room.” Beca heard Amy stand up and the rustle of fabric. “Alright, I’m decent.”

“Hey!”

Beca jumped at the unexpected shout and looked over her shoulder. Stacie had come out of the kitchen and was pointing at the couch.

“That’s my favorite towel!” Outage filled her face. “I was looking for that for over a week!”

“It’s also the softest towel in the house.” Amy said as she picked it up, tucking the other firmly around her waist. “It’s the only thing that doesn’t hurt when I’m sitting.”

A choked sound from behind her brought Beca’s eyes back around to Chloe, who was biting the inside of her cheek and trying not to giggle. “I’m sure she’ll wash it before she gives it back.”

Beca tried to choke back her laugh and ended up sounding like a pug with a cold as she snickered into her hand.

“I think…” Stacie sighed. “Happy Birthday, Amy. It’s all yours.”

“You sure, Stretch?” Amy threw the towel in question over her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll need it for much longer.”

“Yup.” Stacie nodded emphatically. “I’ll go get another one this weekend.”

“Thanks, Stacie.” Amy smiled at her before her lips twisted slightly. “Sorry I didn’t ask first.”

“’S okay.” Stacie shrugged. “Now go get changed so we can celebrate your day.”

“Are you allowed to give me orders on my birthday?” Amy mused as she headed for the stairs.

“Probably not,” Beca said. “But I’ll probably do it anyway.”

“Bossy.” Chloe whispered behind her and Beca flashed her a grin.

“Alright.” Beca clapped her hands once. “Show’s over, let’s go get our party outfits on and get some grub. We’ve got a Bella to celebrate.”

Stacie walked past her, shaking her head. “Bossy.”

Beca let her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling. “I can’t with you two.”

“What?” Stacie paused in the door to the entry. “Did we do the thing again?”

“Yup.” Chloe pushed Beca toward the stairs. “I called her that thirty seconds ago.” She high fived Stacie over Beca’s shoulder when the tall woman grinned and held out her hand.

“Score one for us.” Stacie laughed and started up the stairs.

“I hate you guys.” Beca said weakly as she followed.

“Liar,” Chloe laughed and ran her hand down Beca’s back.

“Maybe.” Beca let Chloe go before her.

“Definitely.”

“Yeah yeah,” Beca waved her up the stairs, unable to help admiring the way Chloe’s muscles flexed as she moved. “But seriously, my stomach just woke up and if I don’t feed it soon it’s going to take over the world.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Stacie saluted as she stepped into her room.

“Smartass,” Beca threw back.

“And you love it.” Stacie closed the door with a laugh.

“Stop flirting with Stacie and let’s go change before you get hangry.” Chloe took her hand and tugged on it.

“She wishes,” Beca muttered but followed Chloe up to their room, ignoring the ‘Often’ that came from Stacie’s room behind them.

‘She’s got bat hearing, I swear.’ Beca thought to herself as she went to the closet to get her outfit for the night.

Tomorrow was still looming over them, but Beca pushed it all away, determined to think about Amy and the Bellas for the rest of the night.

It was one mistake and they’d just won three years in a row. Surely they weren’t in that much trouble.

Right?

[the-green-maiden]

Supernatural Fair Fight Livestream Recap with timestamps

(based off of the notes I took while watching live. any errors are mine and not the fault of the cast or abrams)

21:01 Panel Starts. Misha introduces panel- Stacey Abrams, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padelecki, Erik Kripke, Berto the ASL interpreter.

21:02 Stacey Abrams talks about how she got into SPN. Talks about running for governor(?) in California(?), having trouble gathering support/campaign funds. On a particularly bad day, ends up watching SPN in her hotel room. Loves it, ends up watching the whole show after this. Quotes “Even if it’s hard we can’t stop” and “who else is going to do this” and talks about keeping going.

21:05 Kripke: “Wow”

Ackles: “That’s one of the most beautiful interpretations of what we do, how we tell the story.”

21:06 Kripke: “Grateful we could provide inspiration” 

21:07 JarPad: *reiterates above* joke about how “Kripke’s writing is questionable at best.”

21:08 Misha: “The reason we tell stories is to inspire people” creates an allegory about the ‘invisible enemy’ of voter suppression with the invisible enemy trope common in storytelling. “As we made the show, we were taking inspiration from [Abrams]”

21:09 Kripke asks Abrams to tell more about Fair Fight

21:09 Abrams talks about a secretary of state(?) [whose name I didn’t catch but who JPad refers to as ‘Lucifer”] who was in charge of voter registries in Georgia who wrongfully removed thousands of voters from lists, closed essential polling locations, and prevented people from voting, which disproportionately impacted POC and youth voters, and led to 8+ hour wait times in remaining locations. Abrams tells of how her and FF acted to fix this and change the whole system for the better. “If this becomes about politicians, no one is going to care, but when it becomes about people’s [list of basic rights and essential services]...” “...Patriotic belief that democracy means that if you’re eligible to vote, you get to be heard. Fair Fight is committed to ensuring that every voter in the US has the right to vote, and we are pretty good at it.”

21:16 Misha voices concerns about Trump’s attempts to make the 2020 vote counts seem unreliable.

21:17 Abrams gives an in-depth history of voter suppression in the US, committed by both parties at various times, including restrictions on mail-in votes, ID laws, and something about the voting rights act.

21:18 A bunch more panelists join in, including Jake Abel, Felicia Day, and a number of other SPN cast members.

21:19 Abrams says that in Texas a gun license is a valid id to vote, but a college id is not. “Everyone should get to participate, not just the chosen.” Mentions that she has not seen the final 3 episodes yet, request no spoilers until she logs out.

21:22 Kripke thanks Abrams for her political work.

21:22 Felicia Day says she was very excited to meet Abrams at Dragon Con.

21:33 Misha and Kripke try to move panel along to comply with Abrams limited time availability.

21:24 Rachel Miner “We all admire you [Abrams], you’re our hero.”

21:25 JPad gives a long speech thanking Abrams that was too fast to write down verbatim. “It’s important that everyone have their own voice” says it’s an honor to meet Abrams.

21:26 Bob Singer asks a question about Purdue(?) not showing up to a debate.

21:27 Abrams gives a detailed answer about swing states, swing voters, the lack of swing voters in Georgia, and the relatively small impact that Purdue(?) missing a debate would have on his numbers. Long speech about mail-in voting.

21:29 Sebastian Roche asks a question about run-off votes. Abrams answers.

21:30 Rachel Miner asks a question about voter registration descrimination against people w foreign names.

21:31 Abrams talks about how this has happened and what Fair Fight is doing to combat it, and how Fair Fight’s legal actions have managed to significantly reduce the amount of mail-in ballots thrown out for having difficult to understand names on them.

21:33 Shoshanna Stern thanks Abrams for her efforts in making voting more disability accessible.

21:34 Abrams answers, gives more info on the subject and the importance of having accessible voting locations.

21:36 Jim Beaver says it’s wonderful to be able to talk to Abrams, etc.

21:37 Abrams realizes her time has just about run out, and says thank yous and good byes. Mentions that tomorrow is her birthday. Multiple members of the cast wish her a happy birthday. More goodbyes from everyone, and thank yous to and from Abrams. Abrams exits call.

21:39 Kripke and Misha encourage people to donate to FF

21:41 Misha and Jensen rib each other, joke about an open bar.

21:41 Misha “Now we’re just going to waste your time for half an hour now that she’s gone”

21:42 Curtis Armstrong tells a short story about his mother, who was a voter activist in Detroit and Switzerland, and how nice it was to see Abrams talk.

21:43 Trivia intro. Multiple jokes made at the same time about state capitals.

21:44 Jim Beaver “When my kid was 7, I asked her the capital of Vermont and she said V”

21:44 Kripke asks semi-serious question about what JPad wore as protection in the ball-crusher Japanese game show scene in Changing Channels.

21:45 JPad “A thimble. A mini-thimble. No, a cup.” says something else about the cup.

21:46 Ackles “Our special effects team likes to go above and beyond”

21:46 JPad comments about real fear in that scene

21:46 Misha tries to get trivia back on track. “Without powers, what does Dean say Cas is?”

------[Baby in a trenchcoat]

“Other name of the Impala?”

Julie McNiven guesses “A special place”. Someone calls out “baby”

-----[Metallicar]

“Name of Sam and Jess’s friend who goes with them to the bar in the pilot?”

Even JPad, who was in the scene, does not know. Kripke comments that it was named after an irl friend of his from Tiuanna, named LUIS.

“5 works Kripke ripped off for SPN?”

Everyone guessing at once, including: Animal House, On The Road, Good Omens, Constantine, Star Wars, and several others.

“What herpes medication does Sam have to do a commercial for?”

[Herpexia]

21:52 JPad and Julie rib each other about herpes meds, and argue whether the term is prescription or subscription for medication. One of them brings up the example of having a subscription to dog food.

21:52 Jake Abel “What if your dog has herpes?”

Misha “I only hope that Stacey Abrams has tuned in”

Seb makes another joke about state capitals, then asks JPad the capital of Albania.

Jared has no idea, guesses ‘new albania’

Seb “Tirana” talks about having lived on a boat, presumably near Albania.

Rob Benedict: “Thanks for tuning in”

Bob Singer asks who knows the story of Seb getting a massage at VAncouver airport.

Jared (paraphrased) “We all fly through Vancouver airport a lot. Just past security there’s a massage place [with the chairs where you face the floor].” One day JPad and Ackles went through security and saw Seb getting a massage. They go over, convince the masseuse [who knows them all at this point] to let JPad take over. Seb does not notice, despite the fact that the masseuse is a small woman and JPad is holding his hands weird to try to make them smaller. JPad says he put his hands down Seb’s back and up his shirt, and Seb still did not notice, just making a noise and saying ‘very nice’. JPad gets as far as groping Seb’s ass before Seb notices anything is up. This is still the middle of a busy airport.

21:58 Seb “It was strangely sensual. Thank you, Robert, for bringing that up.” “I was perturbed for the whole flight back.”

Ackles “Another highbrow story”

Seb “It’s really fun being on that set. It really is” Claims they are also serious sometimes, to which there is laughter in response.

Ackles “It going to be like that on The Boys, Krip?”

Kripke “No massages to completion”

Seb “Wait there was no completion”

Krip “Saw photos of [Ackles’s] supersuit today”

Multiple jokes from several people about Ackle costume for The Boys being assless, crotchless, entirely made of paint, and cowboy-themed.

22:01 Misha “time for about 5 minutes of outtakes”

Someone jokes about adding ‘give Seb a massage’ as a donation tier.

Misha thanks the fans, says he loves and misses all the cast. Asks Rob B to sing.

22:02 Rob B “tune into my radio show” [for singing]

22:03 Misha announced that $225,000 has been raised for charity so far in the stream.

More thank yous from everyone to everyone, including the zoom team.

22:04 Seb “Vote out Mitch McConnel:

Jensen “Such as British accent to tell us who to vote for”

Seb “I’m half French half Scottish”

Jensen and Seb joke about scottish and french alcohols, and how they can’t be mixed.

22:05 Kripke thanks the fans for 15 years. Everyone else joins in on thanking fans for 15 years.

Jake Abel “There was a big gap in there for me somewhere”

Seb asks if Jake was in the first season.

22:06 Jake “3rd, 5, and 15”

Seb gives long thank you speech.

Jensen talks about how the cast is sticking together “This group is not being dispersed”...”I take comfort in knowing this” jokes that they’re stuck together whether they like it or not.

Misha “Like herpes”

Felicia “Genital or otherwise”

22:07 gag reel begins, including Misha’s ‘on-camera finger, Jensen falling off a chair “furniture could use some work”, Jensen failing to pick a lock for a very long time and Jared asking ‘Cas” to open it, Jensen saying ‘hail misha’ instead of ‘hail mary’, Misha failing to keep a straight face while looking at Alex Calvert, Jensen eating something too hot(?), and more that someone has probably already uploaded in full anyway.

21:13 stream ends.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

It’s the Asexual Pumpkin, Sam Winchester.

Asexuality can be defined as the quality or characteristic of having no sexual feelings or desires.

Fifteen year old Sam Winchester can't stop fussing his lower lip with his teeth, constantly biting the corner, as he reads fervently, and in a hurry.

It may be considered a sexual orientation or lack thereof.

He buries his head in his hands, fingers in his hair, and breathes out. It's not a lack of sexuality - not to him, that is. He feels everything - he's just not sure if he's feeling the right things.

And he can't stop thinking about it.

*

He's sixteen when a girl first kisses him. She's practically a stranger, given they've only had a few classes and a group project together - which makes it really weird for him when she walks up to him when he's sitting at his lunch table, cups his cheek, and closes the gap between their lips.

"It was a dare," She explains, pulling away. Sam blinks up at her as she hurriedly adds, "I had to kiss my crush."

She's probably making sure Sam doesn't think the dare had been to kiss the weird kid who always sits by the window at lunch with his nose in a book.

"Okay." Sam says, not knowing what to do with this information. "It's okay."

And that's it.

*

Sometimes when Sam's supposed to be researching monsters his dad's gone off to hunt, he fades out and inadvertently starts to research his own.

He's sure he isn't normal. This constant nagging inside his head which tells him there's something terrifyingly wrong with him because - there just is.

*

"Oh, Sam!" The boy he's got pinned against the wall groans, instinctively grabbing a fistful of Sam's shirt - Dean's hand-me-down flannel. "Sam, you're - Jesus, that's good."

Sam's got an arm wrapped around his waist, one behind his neck, and their hips thrust erratically, but together, in some sort of rhythm. 

He's trying.

He's trying to want this.

Sam kisses him harder, holds him tighter, and pulls him closer.

He's never been more scared than when it's all over, and the guy falls forward heaving, face buried in Sam's chest and strings of praise in his breath - because Sam still feels nothing at all.

And he realizes there’s a possibility that he’ll never feel anything.

*

Before he leaves for Stanford, Dean takes him out for a drink. John doesn't want them to go - or maybe he just says that, because then Sam insists that they do.

"You're gettin' out, Sammy." Dean says out loud, and there's only sadness in his eyes, for all the bright in his smile. "Jus' like you always wanted."

Sam blinks away his tears, and drinks to it.

His brother drinks heavily that night and they talk for hours, like they've never talked before - pretending that they'll never talk again.

Sam almost says it.

He almost ups and admits to his brother that he's a goddamn freak who doesn't want to have sex. That he knows it isn't normal, and he knows Dean can't understand how or why he feels the way he feels - but he needs to tell it to him, because he needs to tell it to someone - and he really doesn't trust anyone else.

But then he doesn't, because the night's coming to an end, and Dean pulls him into a hug when they get out to the Impala, and Sam doesn't let go for a very long time.

There's more important things, he tells himself, when Dean all but breaks down in the driver's seat, and asks Sam not to leave with just that look in his eyes and no words spoken - and Sam has to wrench his heart away, and close his eyes as he shakes his head.

He has to leave.

And that's enough he's done to Dean already.

*

All his future packed in a military backpack and a barrel bag, Sam walks into his Stanford dormitory for the first time. Before he even gets to his room, there's a guy with a stack of stickers and a Stanford cap, standing in his way.

"Nametags." He simply says, showing Sam a grey sticker, and proceeding to stick a cardboard under it so he can write. "I fill them for you." He adds.

"Sam Winchester." Sam says, leaning to see what else has to be written. They're asking for his pronouns. "Uh, he/him." He continues, after a pause.

"Are you sure you're sure?" The guy grins.

Sam gives him a look. "Yeah." He clears his throat. "Just taken aback."

"Well, I'll have you know," The guy gives Sam his hand. "I pretty much led the movement on there being pronouns on these, instead of majors."

Sam shakes his hand, feeling a little out of place, but warming up to the guy. His eyes flick down to his nametag and he reads Brady, above 'they/them'.

Oh.

"Okay, then." Brady smiles, putting the sticker on Sam's shirt himself after looking at him explicitly for permission, which Sam grants. "Don't go 'round changing your shirt, Sam."

Sam grins at them before walking off to his dorm.

*

He's at a bar the next time he meets Brady. It's been a long first week - good, but tiring. He's never been so bound by a schedule before, but then he's also never felt this free.

Brady's wearing a hoodie which could've fit another one of them in it, and they slide up next to Sam on a barstool.

"So?" They ask, as means of a greeting. "How was your first week?"

"Not bad. Can we talk about something else?" Sam says, because he's talked about it with himself so many times already - and he's here because he wants to stop.

"Sure." They shrug. "Would you order a drink for yourself, because I don't know what you like yet, but I'd like to buy you a drink."

Sam turns to them uneasily, but before he can even think about it, he's already blurted it out.

"I'm asexual."

That's the first time he's ever said it out loud, and something so minor provoking such a huge declaration - a milestone, for him - makes him realize just how free he feels.

"Cool." Brady answers, furrowing their eyebrows. "You mind me asking if you're also aromantic?"

Sam pauses.

He's never researched about this - and he's never even thought about it, but from the word, he can gather what it must mean. And from the context, he's even more sure.

"I don't." Sam answers. "And no, I'm not."

"Do you drink?" They lick their lips.

"Yeah." Sam breathes out, and it feels like a burden he'd not known about has finally been lifted off of his chest - and he turns to the menu.

"Awesome."

*

Eventually, Brady and he end up close.

Sam's not surprised. They've been friends for weeks now, and he's comfortable around them in a way Sam's never been around anyone before.

And they know so much about so many things, that Sam realizes how little he knows of the world outside hunting. They spend most of their evenings holed up together in Sam's room, watching movies, reading aloud to each other, and talking through the night.

Even if they fall asleep on the same bed, it doesn't feel weird, because it's Brady - and Sam trusts them.

Sam loves them too, but apparently not in the same way as Brady loves Josh, because one evening, almost a couple months in, he brings it up, and just as easily as they'd fallen in place together, they fall out of an undefined relationship.

"I don't think I'm over him." They confess. "I want to be, but I don't think I am, and that isn't fair to you."

Sam gets it. He isn't going to push.

"Let's still be friends, though."

"Obviously."

*

That's when Sam meets Jess.

She's perfect, Sam knows, every fibre of his being knows, and above all, she loves him. On their fourth date, Sam swallows his fears and explains to her that he's asexual.

It's become easier to do it - especially because when he's all out of words, and completely vulnerable, Jess takes his hand and asks, gently, if she could kiss him.

Sam nods, because he wants her to, and not just because no one's ever stopped and asked him that - and then he has her come close, linger for a second, and slowly, sweetly, kiss him.

For the first time, Sam feels something akin to what he knows he's supposed to feel - and he lets her kiss him, closing his eyes, and trying to stop thinking about everything.

He falls for her, irrevocably, very soon - but he still can't stop thinking.

What if he's not asexual?

What if he's been lying to himself all this time?

Jess and he move into an apartment in their second year.

She may not have been able to dispense advice like Brady would've, when Sam had his first panic attack - a hot mess, caused by everything at once; being away from Dean, being all alone, and being a fake - but that's the first time they fall asleep together, and not just on the same bed.

Sam wakes up with Jess's arm curled around him, and feels his heart flush with emotions.

When Jess wakes up too, she finds Sam staring at her with tears in his eyes and apologies on his lips, and he kisses her deeply but also confesses that he still isn't ready for sex, and he doesn't know when he will be, even though he's beginning to research demisexuality, and he tells her as much about Dean as he can, and he tells her how much he loves her but is still so afraid -

And she holds him in return, and reminds him that she loves him too, and that what matters more than all the labels Sam gives himself, is that Sam is happy.

"What would I do without you?" Sam asks, for the first time ever.

"Crash and burn."

*

Dean comes to get him - Sam drives the Woman in White to peace, they return home well in time for his interview - and then Jess burns to her death in front of his eyes.

Dean drags him out of the house forcefully, though Sam fights to get back to Jess - he fights with all his strength because he knows nothing will ever be the same. He's going to crash and burn without her - so why not do it right away?

Why not just let go?

But Dean's stronger than he is, and he won't let him. He holds onto Sam until the firemen have extinguished the entire fire, and he doesn't let him go out of his sight for days to follow - always unsure of what Sam might do, because he might not know why Jess meant so much to his brother, but he can tell how much she did.

(Sometimes, it's a really good thing he knows Sam so well.

And sometimes, it's the worst.)

*

Sam's starting to feel lost.

There had been comfort in a label - he could call himself asexual, tell himself he wasn't alone, tell himself he wasn't a freak - he was just different, and that was okay.

But now he feels like it's all a lie.

He's a liar and a coward and a freak - and god-fucking-dammit, he might call himself a fake, but Sam still isn't attracted to anyone, so he's just so fucking lonely all the time.

And he knows he's completely alone.

*

Sam punishes himself sometimes.

He'll go out with someone, like Dean does - and pretend to himself that he's trying to convince the world that he's normal, that he's okay - but the real reason he does it is because he always comes back guilty.

And he deserves that pain.

He deserves more of it - the depressing detachment which overcomes him in the middle of the night, the sheer repulsion he feels for what he did in the morning, and his perpetually burdened conscience.

When he doesn't feel like himself at all, with a stranger wrapped around him in an unknown bed, there's a cruel voice in his head which tells him this is what he deserves.

He doesn't deserve to be the real him - and Sam isn't even sure he knows who he is.

*

When Ruby enters his life, everything changes. Sam Winchester falls for a demon - though no one will ever call it love out loud, because that simply wouldn't be true.

But there's absolutely nothing else it can be.

She's demanding and feisty, and has a way with Sam which makes him want to shove her against a wall and fuck her until that smirk goes away. And she shows up everywhere, sometimes naked, wanting Sam to drink her blood or pin her to a bed, or both at once.

Sam would pick her up and she'd wrap her legs around him, and devour his lips with passionate, angry kisses until Sam forgot every other way to kiss.

This isn't him, he knows. Dean doesn't need to keep telling him that - he fucking knows.

It's the least himself he's ever been.

(But at least, he's goddamned strong.)

*

Brady shows up, again.

Sam's unsure of how to react to a demon possessing his best friend from Stanford - for Christ's sake, this is Brady, but then the demon admits to killing Jess and that's when the switch flips and Sam forgets he ever trusted this face.

Sam forgets he ever loved him.

*

Then, Lucifer happens.

It's unimaginable pain - forever. The Devil pierces through his flesh with knifes and ice cold hands, and tears him apart. The Creator of Hell tortures him, and breaks his bones and burns his skin and makes him beg for death a million times, with each breath.

Sam's chained and bound and raped, and Lucifer owns him for 180 years in the Cage, and makes him hate himself for every choice he's ever made.

Except the one which brought him there - for Sam knows he saved the World and he won't undo it, any chance he gets.

Even though nothing can save him now.

*

Castiel, his brother's angel, pulls him out of the pit, soulless.

The following fifteen months are a blur, but Sam knows enough to be utterly ashamed of himself.

And when he gets his tormented, ruined soul back, there's a fleeting thought that at least Lucifer's given him a reason to never want sex again - right before he loses his head.

*

With Amelia, Sam complicates things too much in trying to make them simple.

He can't think about himself anymore - so he stops thinking altogether, because he definitely cannot think about Dean or Castiel. Everything hurts, so he ignores it all, and pretends he's happy.

She believes him.

Sam's unwilling to go through the tiring process of telling her he's asexual - and frankly, as time passes, it feels like he left that word behind in Stanford.

So they sleep together a couple of times, though Sam's heart is never in it. Together, they neither have the emotional connection he and Jess shared, nor the needy attraction the demon blood caused between him and Ruby.

And then Don Richardson returns, and Sam takes the easy way out.

It's too easy leaving her, and not just because the world needs saving again and Dean is back.

Sometimes Sam wonders how real she had been.

*

Toni Bevell tortures him, on the behalf of the British Men of Letters, to get information.

When it doesn't work, she seduces him, and when Sam wakes up, they're under the covers, and there's wine and candles, and he's completely swallowed in this trance - until he suddenly has a flashback of the dungeons where she'd kept him, and sees through the hallucinations.

But it's not before they've had sex, and he's blindly answered most of her questions, and now it makes Sam feel disgusting.

It makes him feel abused.

*

Things never go that far with Eileen, but Sam supposes it's the closest he's come to trusting someone as much as he wants to, before he's comfortable kissing her.

She kisses him back gingerly, closing her eyes, and it's goodbye.

Because Sam wanted her to stay, and everyone he's ever wanted close, has always left.

*

It's after the end of Chuck.

Gabriel returns, for good.

And Sam realizes he has feelings for him, just barely in time to get him to stay - and wonder of wonders, he does.

*

They're on the bed, with Sam sprawled out in the middle, and Gabriel curled against his side with his arm tucked around him, and Sam's holding him there with a hand, while his other hand intertwines his fingers with Gabriel's.

In this moment, everything's perfect.

"I'm asexual." Sam whispers to the ceiling, quietly. "Or at least, I used to be."

Gabriel hums.

"Can people change?" Sam goes on, braving his heart for the answer.

"What their sexuality means to them can." Gabriel answers, as simple as that. "And it can mean so much, Samwise. Of course it changes."

"Asexuality is the quality or characteristic of having no sexual feelings or desires." Sam repeats, from memory. A really old memory. "It may be considered a sexual orientation or lack thereof."

Gabriel is quiet - they both are, until Sam realizes the archangel thinks he has more to say.

"That's it." Sam admits shyly. "That's the definition fifteen year old Sam read so many times in his head that thirty seven year old Sam remembers."

"Oh, you." Gabriel sits up, cross-legged on the bed. He stares at the hunter and sees the lack of acceptance in his own eyes. "That's over twenty years old, Sam. Listen to me."

"Okay." Sam swallows.

"You can relate to some traits of asexuality and not all of them, and still be considered asexual." Gabriel begins, serious. "You know it's a spectrum, right? So you may think differently about sex than other asexuals. Every asexual is unique, and their identities are shaped by all that that they've gone through, and not just what they were born as."

Well, nobody could've had the same experiences he did. Does that mean -

Gabriel goes on. "You may be grossed out by sex, find it uninteresting, or think it's mildly enjoyable if it's with the right partner."

Sam's eyebrows go up.

He liked sex, or something almost like it, when he was with Jess. It was boring, but not the worst thing in the world, with Amelia. And if all the other times, he's repulsed by it - apparently that's okay too.

"I - I didn't know that."

"Knowing you're on the ace spectrum can be enough." Gabriel tells him, squeezing his hand. "You don't have to define your sexuality every day of your life - it's there to decide who makes you happy, and not who you are."

Sam's speechless.

He's never thought about it like this.

"Call yourself whatever you like, Sammich." Gabriel smiles. "Asexual, demisexual, grey asexual - it's up to you. But don't let a label, or the seeming defiance of it upset you. You're human, not a piece of research you can label and file away in inventory - you're you, and believe me, that's all that matters to the rest of us."

"I -" Sam wishes he has the words to express what he's feeling right now, but he can't find any, so he just squeezes Gabriel's hand back. And mumbles, "I love you."

"I know," Gabriel teases, so Sam lets out a short breath of laughter and leans up to kiss him but Gabriel meets him in the middle. "I'm pretty great."

"Thank you." Sam breathes out, pulling away. "Thank you for everything."

"Shuddup." Gabriel blows a raspberry, just so he can ruin the moment and Sam swats at him playfully. "But hey, quick thing."

"Yeah?"

"Please don't let PTSD affect your take on your own sexuality." Gabriel says, adopting a serious voice again.

"It's hard when a lot of that trauma is related pretty closely to sex." Sam confesses, sighing.

"Yeah. I believe you, it - it must be hard." Gabriel sounds pained to say it. There's silence for a while. Finally, he says, "You know I'm always here if you need to talk, right?"

"It goes both ways."

"Noted." Gabriel leans in this time, and Sam lets him traverse all of the way so that it gets easier to pull him back to bed, instead of him sitting up.

"I'll be truthful with you, Gabe." Sam speaks up, a whole while later. Gabriel turns around to face him, pulling slightly away because they'd been cuddling. "I don't think I'm going to want to have sex ever again."

Gabriel nods in acknowledgement.

"What, that's it?" Sam makes a face. "Here I am, feeling guilty because I'll never be able to want sex with my partner who loves sex, and you're just going to nod?"

"Believe me, Samshine. I've had enough sex in my lifetime." Gabriel clears his throat, throwing in a wink which makes Sam laugh. "And for that matter, I'm pretty self-sufficient."

"You're gross is what you are." Sam rolls his eyes, trying to contain a smile.

"Sure, that too." Gabriel takes it in his stride. "And I'm sure you wouldn't be completely unwilling to help poor me out, if I needed it." His eyebrows dance. "You know, flex for me shirtless, say my name in your sexy voice sorta thing."

Sam swats at him with a pillow as he dissolves in laughter.

"Or even just a quick shoulder peek maybe." Gabriel shrugs, nonchalantly.

"What is it about my shoulders?" Sam huffs, mostly kidding. "I swear, I never stood how they can be an attractive feature on anybody."

"Ah, well." Gabriel makes a dramatic show of giving up hope. "I guess you'd have to be pansexual to get it."

Sam rolls his eyes again.

And that's that.

[myinconnelly1]

A Quiet Life Pt 1

Masterlist 

summary:  When Dean and Castiel disappear during the fight with Leviathans Sam and you decide that a quiet life where no one else will die or disappear is better.  But how long will you be able to live the quiet life?

Word Count: 611

Commissioned by @elecraphyng

“DEAN!”  Sam and you both cry out as a bright flash of light exploded and took not only the Leviathans but Dean and Castiel.

“Well, that was dramatic,”  Crowley muttered looking around the now mostly empty warehouse.  “Good luck Moose,” The red-eyed demon called before disappearing.

“No,”  You sobbed as you crumpled to your knees and Sam’s strong arms encircled you.

“Come on, we have to get out of here before something else shows up,”  Sam mumbled as he helped you up and out to the Impala.

“What do we do now?”  You said after the two of you had been driving for what seemed like a silent eternity.

“I guess we just try to move on,”  Sam whispered.  You couldn’t see the tears on his face but knew they were there just like on your face.  The thought of moving on from Dean, your friend was a painful thing that you didn’t know if you could do.  You weren’t sure how Sam, his brother, could suggest it.  “I don’t want to lose anyone else,”  Sam said firmly as if he had read your thoughts.  “I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever cared about.  My family, my friends, Jess.  I can’t lose you too.”  Sam reached over and took your hand with a tight squeeze.

It wasn’t quite dawn when the Impala rumbled into a far off motel parking lot and Sam went inside to get a room.  The place was nondescript and didn’t seem to have a lot of people at it, which worked just fine for the two of you.

“What are you doing?”  You asked as Sam crawled into bed with you and curled around you.

“Just in case he finds us here,”  Sam’s voice had the monotony of sleep already and you wondered briefly if he had gotten into bed in his sleep.  With sleep came to you quickly, you weren’t going to get up and change beds and Sam’s body was a source of great comfort in the dark.

Sam woke you several hours later after you had an exhaustion induced coma.  You didn’t dream and you thanked any god that was listening, because the recent horror of loosing not only Dean but also your father, Bobby, was likely to leave you with nightmares for the rest of your life.

“You should take a shower.  But we need to get out of here quickly,”  Sam said brushing his fingers over your cheek.  “We need to keep moving until we can get past being on the FBI’s most wanted.”

“I have a thought about that,”  You said deep in thought as you started to get your thing together to get clean.  “Dad left me a house,”  Your eyes lifted to meet Sam’s.

“Bobby had another house in North Dakota?”  Sam asked, scratching the back of his neck.

“No, it was Mom’s family home, and it’s not far from here.  Let me shower,”  Sam reached out suddenly grabbing your arm and pulled you into a deep kiss.  You melted against him like butter.

“Be quick?”  Sam asked as he let you go and started to pack the Impala.

The shower was hot and as the steam lifted in the air you thought about what had happened to you in the last twenty-four hours.  You had lost Dean and Castiel, people you considered your family.  You had been kissed by Sam, a part of you knew deep down that the kiss was a reaction to the intensity of the day and it probably meant nothing.  But you had to weigh that kiss with what Dean had told you just before the four of you had gone into that warehouse.

NEXT

@waywardbaby @destielhoneybee @snffbeebee @deangirl7695 @spnbaby-67 @maddiepants @ladywinchester1967 @woodworthti666 @miraclesoflove @tumbler-tidbits @emilyshurley @akshi8278 @mannls @wendibird @bobasheebaby @theoneandonlymelol​ @chelsea072498 @donnaintx @justsomedreaming @supernaturalenchanted​ @kalesrebellion​ @prettydeaneyes​ @emoryhemsworth​ @laphirablack​ @dontshootmespence​ @its-a-spn-thing​ @vicmc624​ @idreamofplaid​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @kickingitwithkirk​

[dlwritings]

Firecracker Soul | Dean Winchester

Chapter 1 - Late for School

pairing - mob!Dean x teacher!ofc

word count - 3,414

warnings - language

additional notes at the end

"Walking feet, first graders!"

The end of the school day meant chaos in the hallways. Little kids with big backpacks were running to the front of the school, eager to catch their bus or meet their parents.

Things were busy for a few minutes as Alice stood on the curb and waved goodbye to her students. Just when she thought they were all gone, she realized one of her students was sitting alone on the grass. Her name was Lexi, and she was a total sweetheart. Teachers weren't supposed to have favorites, but this girl was hers. Six-years-old with brown hair and big brown eyes; usually she was all giggles and smiles, but when Alice looked at her, she was picking at the grass with a frown etched on her face.

Lexi's parents were both lawyers, and Alice knew they had busy work schedules. Everyday, Lexi came to class with a slip of paper that said who would be picking her up: Sam, Jess, Castiel, or Hannah. Alice realized just then that she hadn't given her a paper that day. She walked over to Lexi and sat beside her. Lexi wouldn't look at her. "Who's picking you up today, Lexi?" she asked. "You didn't give me a paper. Do you know?" She silently shook her head no. Alice looked at her watch: 4:26. Whoever it was was almost half an hour late, which was unusual for Lexi's pick-ups. "Well how about I call your mom and check in with her, yeah?"

Lexi nodded, so Alice stood up and walked a few steps away to make the phone call. She unlocked her phone and scrolled through her contacts, finding Lexi's mom's name quickly from when she entered all the students' emergency contacts. The line rang and rang, and just when she thought she would get sent to voicemail, Lexi's mom picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Winchester," she said, "this is Alice Berkley, Lexi's teacher."

"Is everything okay?" her mom said, sounding panicked.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," Alice said. "It's just, school ended at 4:00 and no one's come to pick her up yet."

"Christ," she mumbled. "Sorry. That'll be my brother-in-law. He swore he'd be on time. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "I'll just take her back into my classroom while we wait."

"I don't want to make any trouble for you," Mrs. Winchester said. "If you need to head home-"

"No, it's no trouble," she said. "I'm usually here for a while after school gets out anyway."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Mrs. Winchester, it's okay," she said.

"Thank you," she breathed out, sounding relieved. "Also-" She laughed lightly. "-call me Jess."

"Okay," she said with a chuckle. "Well, Lexi and I will wait inside until your brother-in-law-"

"Dean," she said.

"Dean," Alice repeated. "Until Dean gets here."

Jess thanked her again, and Alice hung up the phone.

When she walked back over to Lexi, the girl sucked her lower lip between her teeth, looking like she was about to cry. Alice felt her heart ache for her. She reached out her hands for Lexi to take. "How about we go back inside while we wait for your uncle?" she offered. "I've got some snacks, and you know snacks make everything better." Instantly, Lexi's face lit up. She took Alice's hands, stood up, and put her backpack over her shoulders.

Alice was born and raised in Kansas, but it wasn't exactly where she wanted to spend her whole life. Still, it didn't take long for her to learn that things didn't always go to plan. Her plan was to go to college in New York and move there when she graduated. The first part she had accomplished with four years at NYU. The second? Well, there had been a few bumps that led her back to Lawrance. And now, she was a 22-year-old teaching at the same elementary school in Topeka that she had once attended.

As soon as they were back inside and Alice had given Lexi a cookie, she found Dean's number in her phone as another one of Lexi's emergency contacts. She shot him a quick message: Hi, Mr. Winchester, this is Alice Berkley, Lexi's teacher. I already called her mom and told her, but Lexi and I are waiting inside in my classroom, just so you know! One of the secretaries will buzz you in through the office and show you to my room.

Lexi ate the cookie quietly at her desk, and Alice kept turning her phone over in her hands, waiting for it to miraculously light up with something from Dean. Where was this guy?

"I have a real good family," Lexi suddenly said. She licked her lips and looked up at Alice. "They have big grown-up jobs so sometimes they get busy. They still love me lots, though."

"Oh, I know that honey," Alice said quickly. She didn't want the girl to think she was judging her uncle, even though she sort of was. Lexi finished the cookie, and Alice stood up from her own desk. She went into one of the cubbies and grabbed some coloring pages, then sat across from Lexi at her desk and grabbed a box of crayons. She slid a coloring page to Lexi with a smile. "You did really good in math today," she said. Lexi smiled and grabbed a crayon to start to color.

A few blocks away, Dean had finally reached for his phone after a couple hours of sparring with Cas. He wiped the sweat from his brow, took a sip of his water, and unlocked his phone, seeing a text from an unknown number: Hi, Mr. Winchester, this is Alice Berkley, Lexi's teacher. I already called her mom and told her, but Lexi and I are waiting inside my classroom, just so you know! One of the secretaries will buzz you in through the office and show you to my room.

"Shit!" Dean said, almost dropping the water bottle to the ground. He managed to set it down and grab his gym bag.

"Where're you going?" Cas asked as he watched Dean stumble to get his car keys.

"I forgot to pick up Lexi," Dean said.

"Jess only reminded you a hundred times," Cas said. Dean flipped him off over his shoulder as he rushed out of the bunker and into the garage.

Dean got in his Impala and pulled out his phone to find the address of his niece's school, then sped off in that direction. He knew he must've looked like the shitiest guy ever to this teacher, and he knew he'd get an earful from Sam and Jess later on. He loved Lexi, and she thought he was the greatest uncle. He hated letting her down almost as much as he hated letting Sammy down.

Alice was in the middle of singing with Lexi to one of the songs from her classroom appropriate playlist -"Firework" by Katy Perry- when Lexi's eyes suddenly lit up. "Uncle Dean!" she cheered. Alice turned and saw a handsome man walking into the room. He locked eyes with Lexi and smiled brightly, then all but ran over to the two girls and lifted Lexi in the air.

"Hey, kid!" he cheered, placing a kiss to his niece's cheek. Lexi latched her arms around his neck and her legs around his side, clinging to him like a koala. Now, Dean turned to Alice. He not-so-subtly let his eyes rake over her. He knew he was staring, but he never tried to hide when he checked girls out. He didn't care. Why should he? He was Dean Winchester. Girls loved it when he shamelessly stared at them. But Alice didn't stare flirtatiously back at him. In fact, she quickly broke his gaze.

She knew she looked fine. She always felt confident in her teacher outfits. Today she was wearing a sleeveless rainbow-striped dress. Still, she felt weird under his gaze, like something about her was probably out of place. Not that this guy looked all that impressive. He was wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and some black Nikes. His brown hair flopped messily on his head, and it looked like his bottom lip was healing from a cut. His hands were bruised, his knuckles a bit red. Still, he was hot. Undeniably hot. How could someone make such a sloppy outfit look so sexy?

Sexy? Dude, Alice, he's like easily ten years older than you. Plus, that's Lexi's uncle. Not cool. Not cool.

"You're Alice?" Dean asked.

"It's Ms. Alice, Uncle Dean," Lexi said, poking his cheek. "You've got to be polite." Dean cracked a smile, his eyes squinting in happiness as he looked down at his niece.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Alice," he said, shooting Alice a playful wink. Her cheeks turned warm as she pressed her lips into a tight line to hide a smile. "I lost track of time," he explained. "I feel terrible."

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving a hand dismissively. She grinned at Lexi. "Don't tell the others, but Lexi is one of my favorites. I didn't mind spending some extra time with her." Lexi laughed and buried her head in Dean's neck. He chuckled and rubbed the back of her head.

"Well, it is getting close to dinner time," he said. "Your mom and dad'll have a fit if you're not home soon." Lexi nodded, and Dean turned his attention to Alice again. "What do I owe ya for watching her?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it," she said. "It's not like I bought her dinner."

"I have to pay you back somehow," Dean said.

"It's really fine."

Dean sighed and licked his lips. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, and she was the one to break eye contact again as she looked down at her hands.

"Well, we better get going," Dean said. "Thank you for looking after her. I promise, I will never be late again."

"I might hold you to that," she said back. Dean winked.

"Oh, I'm counting on it."

Alice walked them outside, watched as he buckled Lexi up into her carseat, then sent him a wave as he drove away. She went back to her classroom, cleaned up the small messes her students had left, packed up her things, and went out to her Jeep. While she was teaching in Topeka, she lived in Lawrence, so she had a 30 minute drive home.

As soon as she got to her apartment, she toed her shoes off and peeled off her jacket as she went into her bedroom. She changed out of her dress and into her pajamas, even though it was only a little bit past 5:15. Her stomach grumbled, so she decided to make some ramen. She liked cooking, sure, but after long days at school, she was always too tired to prepare anything. When she spent four years studying elementary education, no one told her how exhausted she would be everyday. Well, maybe they did tell her, but back then, she was still wearing those rose colored glasses. Teaching definitely was not all rainbows and butterflies, but she still loved it.

Her ramen spun in the microwave as she poured herself a glass of wine. She plugged her phone into the speaker that she kept in the kitchen and started playing some music. "Share Your Address" by Ben Platt floated through the air, and she stood on her tiptoes with her glass and danced around the kitchen. Once her ramen was done, she stopped her music and took a seat on the floor in front of her coffee table in the living room to eat. She flicked on the TV and opened the Netflix app so she could put on Criminal Minds, her current guilty pleasure. The show itself wasn't relaxing, but this was her only time to take a breath from work. Her routine everyday was the same. The monotony of her life made her feel like a middle aged lady who had already given up. Is that what all first year teachers felt like?

After watching an episode, she pulled out her folder of math tests to grade. Once she did that, she moved onto finishing the science lesson for the next day. Before she knew it, she was yawning and struggling to keep her eyes open. She crawled into bed and plugged her phone into its charger, then checked her text messages one last time, seeing she had a text from Lexi's mom: Hi Alice! Thanks so much for watching out for Lexi today. She told me you gave her a little snack. You so didn't have to do that! You're too sweet. Lexi absolutely adores you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to repay you

She smiled at how kind Jess was as she texted her back: It was no problem at all. Lexi is a great kid. I already told Dean you don't need to repay me. I'm happy to help

Jess sent Alice a smiley face back, so she locked her screen and headed to bed.

-

Dean smiled as Lexi chatted throughout the entire car ride back to Sam and Jess' house. "I did so good in math today," she said. "Ms. Alice even told me so."

"That's great, kid," Dean said, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

"My friend Emily even asked me to help her," she said, swinging her legs and kicking her feet against her seat. "Ms. Alice told me I should be a teacher someday. She's so nice. I wish she was like my aunt." She gasped, her jaw dropping as if she just made an unbelievable discovery. "Uncle Dean! You should marry her." The corner of Dean's lip curved up into a smirk.

"Yeah?" he said. "You think so?"

"She's so pretty, isn't she?" she asked. Dean licked his lips and let out a laugh through his nose.

"Yeah," he said. "She's very pretty."

Dean obviously couldn't tell his six-year-old niece what he really thought of her teacher. The truth was, Dean's thoughts were filthy the minute he saw her. She radiated innocence. He could see it when she looked away as soon as he allowed his eyes to rake over her body. Dean was usually one who liked experienced girls. He never saw the point in having a one night stand with a girl who didn't know what she was doing, but as soon as he saw Alice, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about fucking that innocence right out of her.

Dean cleared his throat and adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. Lexi said his name again like she had said it a few times while he was lost in his thoughts. "What's that, kiddo?" he asked.

"Should I tell her you like her?" she asked.

Dean laughed. "I don't even know her!"

"I do!" Lexi said. "I can tell you all about her. She's pretty, and she's the best reader I've ever, ever seen, and she's very nice, and she says I'm her favorite. I'm your favorite too, so you already have a lot in common." Dean laughed again and ran a hand through his hair.

"She sounds like a nice girl," he said.

"You should ask her on a date," Lexi said.

"Why are you trying to set me up with your teacher?" Dean asked, looking at his niece in the rearview mirror again. Lexi shrugged and looked out the window.

"Sometimes everybody's busy," she said. "Ms. Alice is nice, and if you're married, I can see her more."

Just when she said that, Dean pulled the car into his brother's driveway. He turned around to look at his niece, then squeezed her knee so she would look at him. "You okay, kid?" he asked. Lexi pouted and sighed.

"You forgot me today," she said. Dean could hear her voice shake, and his heart broke with guilt. "But Ms. Alice helped me when everyone else was too busy."

Dean sighed and got out of the car, quickly jogging around to get Lexi out of her seat. He picked her up and held her close to him. "I'm so sorry I was late," Dean said. "I'll never, ever, ever be late again."

"Promise?" Lexi asked, looking up at him with the puppy dog eyes she inherited from her dad.

"Cross my heart," he said.

"Good," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. They were both quiet as Dean placed a kiss to the top of her head and walked her into the house. "I still think you should tell her she's pretty," Lexi mumbled as she buried her head in his neck.

He chuckled. "Okay, kid. Okay."

Dean walked into his brother's house, and set Lexi on the ground so she could kick off her own shoes. "We're home!" he called. He and Lexi walked into the house and to the kitchen where Jess was finishing up dinner. Jess smiled at Lexi, though it didn't meet her eyes.

"Hey sweetie," she said, kneeling down to kiss her daughter's cheek. "Why don't you go get washed up for supper?" Lexi nodded and skipped out of the room. Dean put his hands on his hips and hung his head, knowing he was about to get an earful from his brother and sister-in-law. He walked over to the fridge and got himself a beer.

"Seriously, Dean?" Sam said, speaking up before his brother could even open his drink. "45 minutes late?"

"I know," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I was working out with Cas. Lost track of time. Lex already gave me the puppy dog eyes about it, so you don't have to make me feel bad too."

"You're just lucky her teacher is so nice," Jess said. "What if she couldn't stay with her? What if she was angry?"

"Well-" Dean shrugged and took a sip of his beer. "-good thing we'll never know." Jess threw her hands up with a sigh and left the room, presumably to catch her breath before she blew up. Dean watched her and took another drink from his beer. As soon as both men heard her footsteps fade, Sam shot Dean an annoyed look.

"Really?" Sam said to the older Winchester.

"Look, I really am sorry, man," Dean said, leaning up against the counter in the kitchen. "You know I'd die for Lex."

"I know," Sam said, running a hand through his hair. "Can you just be on time next week? You're on every Thursday from now on."

"100%," Dean said. "I already told her teacher I wouldn't be late again." Sam's eyebrows raised as a slightly amused grin grew on his face.

"You mean her cute, young teacher?" Sam teased.

"Young?" Dean asked, scratching his beard before drinking his beer again. "I hadn't noticed."

"Dude," Sam laughed, "she's like 22. How did you not notice?" Dean's lips turned down as he nodded and sipped his beer. "Dean," Sam said with a scoff, "you cannot tap my daughter's teacher."

"Lexi wants me to take her on a date," Dean said with a grin.

"She's hardly your type," Sam said.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe I'm a changed man."

"For a 22-year-old?" Sam said back. Dean shrugged again, a grin growing on his lips. "You're disgusting." Dean just laughed and sat beside Sam at the kitchen table. "How'd the handoff go?" Sam asked his brother.

"Crowley kept up his end for once," Dean said. "Teaming up against Lucifer's made working with him slightly less insufferable."

"Really?" Sam said, raising his eyebrows again.

Dean scoffed. "Emphasize slightly." Sam laughed, and Dean downed the rest of his beer. "How's party planning?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen to get rid of his beer bottle. Now, Sam laughed.

"Jess is thriving," Sam said. "I just want it to be over so we can actually start working."

Dean scoffed. "Classic, Sammy."

"Shut up," Sam said. Dean grinned and sighed.

"Alright," he said. "I'll catch you at dinner on Saturday."

Dean headed back out to his Impala and drove to his apartment. The whole time, his mind was reeling. Then again, his mind was always reeling. Between the job and Sam's firm opening up, he hardly had time to take a breath. Now though, he was thinking of Alice. Dean wasn't a creep, but when he had his eyes set on a woman, he got her.

----- ----- ----- -----

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[abusybuzzingbee]

Skin | Supernatural Season 1 Episode 6 Rewrite | Dean x Fem!Reader

A/N: this gif is SAUCY i should not find it as attractive as I do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Major Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Warnings: canon level violence, language, Dean and the reader being assholes to each other TW: shifter calls the reader some pretty terrible things that may be triggering to some readers. if you tend to have self-deprecating thoughts, you may not want to read this episode. also, heavy topics mentioned in a fight between Dean and the reader

Word Count: 7,547

Summary: The boys and the reader head to St. Louis, Missouri when Sam gets an email about one of his college buddies. Tensions continue to rise between Dean and the reader following their dispute in Toledo, Ohio. 

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Season 1 Masterlist

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Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face Sam. “Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.” 

Sam did not respond to him. 

“Sam wears women’s underwear.”

“I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy,” Sam answered, never looking up from his phone as he scrolled through it.

“Busy doin’ what?”

“Reading e-mails.”

The older brother got out of the car and began to fill up the Impala’s gas tank. “E-mails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.”

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?”

“Why not?” Sam shrugged.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

“I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.”

“Oh, so you lie to ‘em.”

You picked at your nails as you sat in the backseat. “What else is he supposed to do? Say, ‘Hey, I’m hunting ghosts’?”

“I get why he’s lying, I’m not tellin’ him to tell the truth.”

Sam looked over to Dean. “So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

Dean shrugged.

“You’re serious?”

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period,” Dean answered.

“Oh, whatever.” You flopped back onto the leather seat.

"You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?” Sam told his brother.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean shook his head.

The younger Winchester went back to his emails.

“God…” he trailed off.

“What?”

“In this e-mail from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Is she hot?”

You scoffed. “Really, Dean?”

“I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack,” Sam explained. “She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

Dean paused. “Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with?”

"No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.”

"Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.”

“They’re in St. Louis. We’re goin’.”

Dean leaned down into the passenger’s side window, chuckling, “Look, sorry ‘bout your buddy, okay? But this does not sound like our kind of problem.”

“It is our problem,” Sam argued. “They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, guys.”

“So?” you questioned.

You and Dean exchanged annoyed looks before he got in the car and pulled away.

***

“Dude, this house belongs in the Hills,” you told Sam as you took in the large two-story house that sat on a beautifully manicured lawn. 

He chuckled at your comment. “This one’s no big deal compared to some of my other friends’ houses. You should’ve seen Jess’s parents’ house.”

You smiled faintly. “I bet it was beautiful.”

Sam nodded, mirroring your expression. He knocked on the wood of the large front door which opened to reveal a pretty girl with blonde hair.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she exclaimed.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky,” he replied.

‘Little Becky?’ you thought.

“You know what you can do with that ‘little Becky’ crap,” she grinned. The two of them hugged.

“I got your e-mail,” he explained to her.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” she said.

Dean took the opportunity to step in. “Dean. Older brother.” He extended his hand to her.

She shook it. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I’m (Y/N), I’m a family friend,” you said, effectively pulling her eyes away from Dean as you shook her hand. You were not about to watch him eye-fuck one of Sam’s friends.

“We’re here to help,” Sam told her. “Whatever we can do.”

“Come in.”

Becky led you three into the house.

“Nice place,” Dean commented as he looked around at the tall ceilings and seemingly expensive furniture.

“It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.”

“Where are your folks?”

“They live in Paris for half the year--” Becky replied.

‘Of course, they do. Wasps.’

“--so they’re on their way home now for the trial. Do you guys want a beer or something?” she asked as she led you into the kitchen.

The older Winchester smiled. “Hey--”

Sam cut him off. “No, thanks. So, tell us what happened.”

“Well, um, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. And she was beaten up and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” Becky began to tear up. “So, he called 911, and the police—they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police—they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight.”

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene,” Sam suggested. “Zack’s house.”

“We could,” Dean agreed.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?”

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.”

Dean laughed. “Detective, actually.”

‘Oh, great.’

“Really?” Becky’s eyes sparkled. “Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona,” he lied."But I’m off-duty now.”

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just—I don’t know.”

Sam tried to convince her. “Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.” She walked away from you three down the hall. 

As soon as she was out of sight, Dean turned to his brother. “Oh, yeah, man, you’re a real straight shooter with your friends.”

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help,” Sam countered.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.”

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.”

Dean still was not completely convinced.

“Sounds a little bit like our gig, Dean,” you pressed further.

He said nothing but looked defeated. 

You and Sam smiled at each other.

***

You and the boys stood next to Becky by the Impala. You stared out at the small, white house blocked off by yellow and black tape.

“You’re sure this is okay?” Becky asked Dean.

“Yeah. I am an officer of the law.” 

You rolled your eyes at Dean’s unconvincing tone. ‘Good grief.’ 

Dean led the way up to the house, ducking under the tape, followed by you and then Sam.

Despite how frequently you work jobs, the sight of a gruesome crime scene always made you sick to your stomach. 

Blood was splattered everywhere. It stained the newspapers on the coffee table, the knocked-over lamp in the corner of the living room, and the picture frame that hung tilted to the side.

“Bec, you wanna wait outside?” Sam asked her as she stood on the other side of the tape.

You looked over at the young woman. She had one arm wrapped around her stomach and one hand over her heart. The blonde steeled herself despite her obvious discomfort. “No, I wanna help.” 

“Tell us what else the police said,” Sam prompted.

“Well, there’s no sign of a break-in,” she started tearfully. “They say that Emily let her attacker in. The lawyers—they’re already talking about a plea bargain.” Becky looked around her, more tears rising to the surface as she did so. “Oh, God….”

“Look, Bec, if Zack didn’t do this, it means someone else did. Any idea who?”

The blonde shook her head, but then a look of remembrance crossed her face. “Um, there was something, about a week before. Somebody broke in here and stole some clothes—Zack’s clothes. The police—they don’t think it’s anything. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.” 

Sam and Dean walked away from you and Becky. The blonde followed after Dean as he went to the front door. Apparently, he was looking at the neighbor’s dog as you gathered from what Becky told him next.

“You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.” She looked over his shoulder at the barking animal.

“What happened?” he asked.

"He just changed.”

“Do you remember when he changed?”

“I guess around the time of the murder.”

Dean looked back at her before walking away. 

You went to the kitchen to meet Sam. He was looking at something posted to the fridge door.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” you asked the boy.

He gestured the picture in front of him. It was of himself, Zack, and Becky.

“You were really close to these guys, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded sadly.

“I’m sorry you had to leave all this behind,” you stated.

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

Dean walked up behind you and his younger brother. “So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal,” Sam noted.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’,” Dean affirmed.

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

“You just can’t admit when you’re wrong, huh?”

“Nope,” he grinned.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Becky walked over to you. 

“So, the tape. The security footage—you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction,” Dean told her.

“I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop,” she explained.

The older brother laughed.

“I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

“Right on,” you grinned.

***

Once you got back to Becky’s parents’ house, the four of you sat down to watch the security footage.

The screen showed the front of Zack’s house lit up in the dark night by the lights on either side of the door.

“Here he comes,” Becky said just as Zack appeared on screen.

Dean noted the timestamp. “22:04, that’s just after ten. You said time of death was about 10:30.”

“Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with.”

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?” Sam questioned.

“Oh, sure,” she answered. She got up from the couch to go to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sam stopped her. “Maybe some sandwiches, too?”

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” she joked with a grin. She left the room shortly after.

“I wish,” Dean chuckled. “What is it?”

“Check this out.” Sam rewound the tape and replayed it. One of the frames showed Zack looking right at the camera, but his eyes had an unnatural silver color to them.

“Well, maybe it’s just a camera flare,” Dean pointed out.

“That’s not like any camera flare I’ve ever seen. You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul,” Sam began.

“Right,” you affirmed. “Remember how that dog completely freaked? Maybe he could sense this was some sort of a dark double of Zack’s.”

“Like a Doppelganger,” Sam added.

“Yeah. It’d sure explain how he was two places at once.”

***

Despite how you and Dean were not verbally attacking each other constantly, the tension between the two of you was stronger than ever. He did not trust you, and you were still pissed at him for what he said to you. 

Back at the motel, you hoped a shower would help clear your mind. You turned the water on and began to sing to yourself. 

‘Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and

Wouldn't you love to love her?’

You used to love listening to Fleetwood Mac with your mother. “Rihannon” was one of her favorite songs.

‘Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and

Who will be her lover?’

Both you and your mother had beautiful voices. The two of you loved to sing to one of her cassette tapes together. “Rihannon” was one of those songs that when you sang it with her it would make you feel genuine peace. With the life you led, moments of peace were few and far between. 

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

One of your favorite memories with your mother was riding in her beat-up station wagon on a highway in West Texas. The sun was just beginning to set, the windows were rolled down, and the wind whipped through your hair. The shadows of the dense trees on either side of the road made shapes appear on your face with patches of light shining through the holes in the shadows. You were sixteen at the time. The two of you took this rare moment alone to sing together, simply enjoying each other’s company. 

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?’

You scrubbed your scalp as you rinsed the soap out of your hair, closing your eyes in an attempt to bring yourself back to that day. 

‘She is like a cat in the dark and then

She is the darkness

She rules her life like a fine skylark and when

The sky is starless’

If you could have your mom back, for even just a moment, maybe you would be able to feel that same peace again. You would feel safe and protected. The day before her passing was the last time you felt truly at peace.

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

Tears clouded your vision and your throat constricted as you continued to sing. 

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?

Will you ever win?’

***

A loud knock on your door pulled you out of your deep sleep.

You jumped, grabbing for the gun you kept under your pillow. You cocked it, walked up to the door, and pressed the muzzle of the gun against it. You opened it with your opposite hand just a crack. To your surprise, it was Dean.

You slammed it back in his face.

“(Y/N), open the damn door,” he demanded unenthusiastically.

You did not, but put the safety back on your gun and threw it on your bed. “What do you want, asshole? It’s almost five in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that. Look, I don’t wanna be up either. It was Sam’s idea,” he explained. 

You opened the door just a crack. “Okay, what does he want at almost five in the morning?”

“I don’t know, he just had a thought, I guess.” Despite the fact that you were asking completely fair questions, his tone showed he was clearly agitated. “Get dressed.”

***

“Alright, so what are we doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning?” Dean questioned. He leaned against the hood of the Impala which was parked outside of Zack’s house. 

“I realized something,” Sam stated. “The videotape shows the killer goin’ in, but not comin’ out.”

You walked over to the younger of the two brothers who was across the street from the car. “So, he came out the back door?” 

"Right. So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.”

“‘Cause they think the killer never left, and they caught Zack inside,” you added.

“I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning,” Dean grumbled.

Both you and Sam chose to ignore him as you looked around outside of the building. 

“Blood,” you noted as you looked at a smear on a wooden telephone pole. “Somebody came this way.”

“Yeah, but the trail ends. I don’t see anything over here,” he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

An ambulance blared its sirens as it sped down the street that separated you and Sam from Dean. 

You looked up at Sam, who exchanged a knowing look with Dean.

Dean drove the three of you over to where you assumed the ambulance was coming from. He parked a few houses down from a house that was surrounded by police cars. One policeman was covering the house with yellow and black tape.

You got out of the Impala, watching as a man in a suit was handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car. 

Dean walked a few paces ahead of you, stopping next to one of the onlookers. She looked as if she had been going for a jog when she stumbled upon the crime scene, as her hair was tied back and she had an MP3 played secured to her arm.

“What happened?” he asked her.

“He tried to kill his wife. Tied her up and beat her,” she informed him.

Sam tore his attention away from the house and turned to the woman.“Really?” 

“I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say ‘hello.’ He seemed like such a nice guy.” The young woman shook her head. 

You watched as the cop car with the supposed killer in it drove off. 

The three of you decided to stay at the scene of the crime to dig around. You and Sam walked around the back of the house, looking for any sort of a clue. Sam lifted the lid on one of the two blue garbage cans behind the house. 

“Why are you dumpster diving?” you asked Sam. “I don’t think the killer’s hiding in there.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “I don’t know, I’m just looking for... anything. I don’t really know what to look for.”

“Yeah, me neither,” you told him as the two of you walked around to the front of the house.

Dean came up behind Sam a moment later. “Hey.”

The two of you turned around.

“Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

“Definitely our kind of problem.”

“What’d you find out?” Sam questioned.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently, the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked,” he informed you.

“So, he was two places at once,” Sam affirmed.

“Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house, police think he’s a nutjob.”

“Two dark doubles attacking loved ones in exactly the same way.”

“Could be the same thing doin’ it, too.”

You thought for a second. “Shapeshifter?”

Dean shrugged.

“Dude, bear with me on this one. It’s something that can make itself look like anyone.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” he replied.

“Every culture in the world has shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men,” Sam added.

“Right. Skinwalkers, werewolves,” you continued.

“We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood,” the younger brother went on.

“Shapeshifters aren’t exactly known for flying--” you started as you headed off back behind the building, “--so I think it’s safe to say that I found a trail back there. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way.” you pointed down the street.

“Just like your friend’s house,” Dean told Sam.

“Yeah. And, just like at Zack’s house, the trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared,” you noted.

“Well, there’s another way to go—down,” the older Winchester pointed out.

You looked down to where the trail ended to find a manhole. 

The three of you climbed down the ladder into the hole, looking around the dark cavern. 

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too,” Sam commented. “The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.”

You went to take a step but stopped yourself when you looked at what you were about to walk into. You bent down, examining the pile of what appeared to be blood and skin. 

“Is this from his victims?” Sam asked as he, too, bent down.

You took out your pocketknife, picking up some of the skin with the end of the blade. “Gross.”

“You know, I just had a sick thought,” Dean piped up. “When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.”

You looked back to see Sam’s nose scrunch up further as he thought about what Dean had said. “That is sick.”

You shook the skin off of your knife, wiping it off on Dean’s jacket.

“Hey!” He swatted your arm away.

You snickered. 

“C’mon, you two,” Sam commanded with a groan as he made his way up the ladder. 

Sam and Dean followed close behind you as you headed to the car. You leaned on the side of it as Dean popped open the trunk. 

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad, is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.”

“Silver bullet to the heart,” Sam nodded. A moment later, his phone rang. “This is Sam... We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out...” He mouthed Becky’s name to you to let you know who was on the phone. His expression changed a moment later to one of confusion. “What are you talkin’ about?... Why would you do that?” Suddenly, he seemed irritated. “Bec—... We’re tryin’ to help... Bec, I’m sorry, but—” He was cut off when she hung up on him.

“What was that all about?” you asked. 

“She found out about Dean.”

“What, how he’s not a detective?”

“Yep.”

“I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about,” Dean jumped in. “You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just--it’d be easier if--”

Sam understood where his brother was going with his statement. "If I was like you.”

“Hey, man, like it or not, we are not like other people. But I’ll tell you one thing. This whole gig—it ain’t without perks.” He held up a gun with a smirk.

***

The three of you headed back down the manhole, walking down the cavernous hallway with flashlights and guns in hand. 

“I think we’re close to its lair,” you told Sam.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face,” you grinned.

“Oh, God!” he cried as he turned to see skin and blood on the pipe not two inches from his face.

Dean noticed a pile of clothes in the corner. “Looks like it’s lived here for a while.”

“Who knows how many murders he’s gotten away with?” Sam shook his head.

You heard a small splash in a puddle behind Dean. You whipped around and aimed your flashlight at the sound, seeing the shifter in the form of the businessman. 

“Dean!” Sam shouted.

He wheeled around only to get punched in the face by the shifter. Dean toppled to the ground as the shifter ran away from you and the boys. 

Sam shot after it a few times, but he missed. You tore down the corridor after it, not even once taking a look at Dean.  

“Get the son of a bitch!” Dean yelled after you.

“That’s the idea, jackass!” you called back. You watched as the shifter climbed out of the manhole you and the Winchesters had used to get into the sewers. You scrambled up the ladder as quickly as you could, popping out of the ground and gazing out into the dark night.

You could just barely see the shifter at this point. You followed where you thought you had seen him turn. You held your gun inside your jacket, eyes focused on the alleyway you saw the shifter turn into. You pressed your back against the brick wall of the shop on the right of the alley before turning into it. You shined your flashlight down the dark alley, walking into it a few paces. The all too familiar smell of coconuts and tobacco filled your nose. When the beam of light hit the wall of the building along the back of the alley, you turned around, only to see the shifter in the form of the businessman staring directly at you. Before you could so much as aim your gun at it, it hit you over the head. Your vision went completely dark.

***

You woke up to an unfamiliar sight. The shifter had taken you to his lair; a cold, damp, dimly lit room in what seemed to be a house. You groaned before attempting to stand up, only to get choked by a rope that had been secured around your neck and pulled back by ropes around your hands. The shifter had tied you to a wooden post. 

‘Brilliant,’ you thought.

You heard muffled voices behind you, one that sounded like it was Dean’s. 

“Dean?” you called.

“(Y/N), it’s not--” Sam shouted, but cut himself off with a groan. 

“Dean” walked over to you. 

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he smirked, leaning down to your eye level. He put a hand next to your head on the post. 

“Dean, the rope around my neck, it’s too tight,” you lied, struggling against the ropes. You pretended like your throat was constricted by making your voice strained. “Help me, please,” you begged.

The shapeshifter chuckled. “How stupid do you think I am?”

You dropped the act. “It was worth a shot,” you mumbled.

“You act like Dean-- I’m sorry, I-- would help you anyway,” he said as he walked away from you.

You looked up at him curiously.

He turned back to face you. “I’m so ready to leave your sorry ass in the dust,” the shifter laughed coldly. “All you’ve done since we met you is cause more trouble for us. I hope you’re tellin’ the truth about leaving the second we find Dad, ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can put up with you. God, from your voice to your personality, you aggravate the livin’ crap outta me.” The shapeshifter leaned back down in front of your face, the two of you only inches away from one another. 

“You’re a burden, (Y/N). You’re exhausting to be around. I constantly have to keep my guard up around you. I can’t trust you, not after what happened in Toledo. How do I know you won’t turn on me and Sammy?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay. 

He turned away from you once more. “Sammy... that’s another thing. I hate how close the two of you have gotten. I mean, you roll up in your stolen car and immediately have him wrapped around your finger. He’s so ready to defend you against me. Maybe that’s why I hate you so much. You’ve replaced me. And sooner or later, you’re gonna take him away from me. Hell, everyone else in my life’s left, why wouldn’t he?”

The shifter took a deep breath, his frustrated expression leaving his face. He replaced it with a smug look as he continued on berating you. “Y’know, take your voice and personality away, Dean would definitely wanna fuck you. He thought you were hot the first time he met you. Then he actually got to know you, and, eh, things changed. But I’m sure he’d have tons of fun with Sam’s little friend Becky.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “I think I’ll go pay her a visit.”

With that, the shapeshifter disappeared.

You heard Sam mutter something, and then someone coughing. 

“That better be you, Sam, and not that freak of nature,” you heard Dean call from somewhere in the cavern. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Sam confirmed.

You steeled yourself, trying to push the shifter’s hurtful words out of your mind. “Sam, that thing went to Becky’s carryin’ Dean’s face,” you informed him. 

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one,” he told Sam.  

“Shut up,” you groaned, trying to wiggle your way out of the ropes around your wrists. 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you,” Sam continued. “Or he was becoming you.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories.”

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind-meld?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that. I mean, maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us,” Sam suggested. 

You heard shuffling behind you, which you assumed was Dean walking over to Sam.

“Hey, jackass, you passed me up,” you yelled at Dean.

“I know,” he called back to you. He went back to his conversation with Sam. “Maybe he needs to keep us alive. Psychic connection.” 

“Hands,” Sam ordered Dean. “Yeah. Come on, we gotta go. He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.”

“I’m still stuck here!”

Sam came over to help you get the ropes undone. However, Dean could care less about the state you were in.

You found all of the guns the shapeshifter had stolen off of the three of you, and you tossed each of the guns to their respective owners. 

Sam boosted you up to a window high off the ground in the room you were in.  You climbed out, “Come on. We gotta find a phone, call the police.” Sam started to head down the street. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean effectively stopped his brother. “You’re gonna put an APB out on me.”

“Sorry,” Sam grimaced.

“This way.” You took off down the street. The neighborhood you sprinted through was dark, the street lamps so scattered and dimly lit that you could hardly see your feet hit the pavement below you. As you came up on a block full of shops, you slowed your run to a walk as to not draw too much attention in the well-lit area. 

You almost headed past a shop with a bunch of televisions set to a news channel in the window, but you stopped when you heard what the reporter was relaying to the audience.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

A sketch of Dean appeared on the screen next to the reporter. 

“Man! That’s not even a good picture,” Dean piped up from next to you.

You looked around, making sure no one heard Dean’s loud exclamation and got suspicious.

“It’s good enough,” Sam muttered. He quickly walked past the shop to get back in the cover of night on the other side of the strip of stores.

“Man!” Dean grunted as he followed his brother.

“Hush, you big baby,” you snapped. 

Sam turned down an alley with you and his older brother falling behind. 

“Come on,” Sam urged the two of you quietly. “They said attempted murder. At least we know--”

Dean cut him off. “I didn’t kill her.”

“We’ll check with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right.”

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.”

“Dean,” you started, “We have no weapons. No silver bullets.”

He stopped, turning to face you. "(Y/N), the guy’s walkin’ around with my face, okay, it’s a little personal. I wanna find him.”

“Okay. Where do we look?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

The older Winchester paused for a moment. “Well, we could start with the sewers.”

“We have no weapons, genius. He stole our guns, we need more.” 

“The car?” Sam offered.

You shrugged. “He probably drove it over to Rebecca’s.”

“The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

"The thought of him drivin’ my car,” Dean snarled.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Alright, come on.”

“It’s killin’ me,” the older brother whined.

“Let it go.”

***

As you walked up the street on the right side of Becky’s house, you noticed the silhouette of the car outlined by the dim light of the street lamp.

“Oh, there she is!” Dean exclaimed happily, the relief in his voice evident. “Finally, something went right tonight.”

A police car appeared around the corner and parked next to the Impala.  

“Oh, shit,” you muttered. You turned around, beginning to run away, but another cop car was parked across the street at the intersection you had come from.

This way, this way.” Dean headed toward a fence.

“You go. I’ll hold ‘em off,” Sam told you and his brother.

“What are you talking about? They’ll catch you,” the older Winchester said.

“Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight,” the brunet urged. “Meet me at Rebecca’s.”

“You got it, chief,” you called back.

 Dean was the first to hop the fence and you followed. You stumbled upon landing in the backyard of the house you happened upon.

The voice of a police officer broke through the silent night as you and Dean started off to the fence on the backside of the yard. “Don’t move! Keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”

You climbed over the fence into the backyard of another house and ran around the left side of it to head down the street the cop car was parked at the intersection of. The two of you stayed out of the glow of the lamp lights that lined either side of the road as you ran along. 

When you had gotten several blocks over from where you had that run-in with the cops, you and Dean stopped to catch your breath. You both sat down on the street corner, chests heaving. The older Winchester went to lay back, but you stopped him.

“Hey, stay sittin’ up,” you directed.

“What? Why?”

“You’re gonna pass out if you do.”

“Uh, okay.” He looked at you as if you did not know what you were talking about but still followed your orders. 

The two of you sat in silence for a minute. 

“So, what now?” you questioned. 

He shook his head. “The cops are probably still snoopin’ around Rebecca’s house. Can’t go get the car ‘til they’re cleared out.”

“Yeah, so, what now?” you asked again.

“I don’t know, man,” he grumbled annoyedly. “You got any ideas, Einstein?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking you, dumbass,” you responded snippily. “What time is it?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t have a watch on me.”

“Great,” you sighed, standing up. You brushed your hands off on your pants and dusted the back of your jeans off. 

“Could go get some burgers,” Dean piped up from his seated position on the grass.

“Your brother just got arrested, and you’re a wanted man, but sure, let’s take you where everybody in the joint’s gonna be able to clearly see your face.”

“Jeez, calm down. It was just a suggestion.”

“Yeah, a dumb one.”

“What’s your deal, (Y/N)?” Dean stood up, and you turned to face him.

“My deal? What about yours?”

“I don’t have one! But you’ve clearly got a stick up your ass.”

You shook your head in frustration. “Dean, don’t lie to me. You have a deal. With me, specifically. The shifter told me all about it.” 

The young man tilted his head to the side in question. “What?”

“Yeah, he told me what you really think of me,” you continued. You took a step toward him with each sentence. “How much I annoy you. How much I exhaust you. How much of a burden I am to you.”

His face dropped out of its angry expression as he took a step back.

“He also told me how you think I’m gonna replace you in Sam’s eyes.” You laughed coldly. “Is that why you hate me so much? Because you’re so insecure about your relationship with Sam?”

The fact that Dean did not respond showed you that you were correct.

“I gotta be real with you, that’s pathetic.” You regretted what you said instantly.

The anger returned to his face. “Still think you don’t have a stick up your ass after you say something like that?”

“I’m sorry, I--”

“No. Just shut up.”

He walked off down the street.

Your frustration replaced your guilt in an instant. “Seriously? I say one thing that cuts slightly below surface-level insults and you get butthurt?”

Dean turned around. 

You walked up to him. “What I just told you was fucked up, sure. But it wasn’t half as bad as what you said to me back in Toledo. That I probably drove my family crazy enough that they'd kill themselves over it? Does that ring a bell?"

“What do you want me to say, (Y/N)?”

“I want you to apologize, for starters!” you shouted back. Your tone changed to dripping with sarcasm. “Now, I know that would require you to humble yourself and get past your superiority complex, so I understand how difficult that’s gonna be for you.”

“I’m sorry, okay!” he yelled, throwing his arms out to his sides. “And I’m sorry about what that shifter said to you.”

“Thank you!” You took a moment to collect yourself. “And I’m sorry, too.”

“Thanks.”

You looked around at the houses that surrounded you on either side of the road the two of you stood in the middle of. “Now that we probably woke up half the neighborhood, let’s bounce.”

Dean chuckled, walking down the street away from you. You caught up to him.

“I don’t know where you think you’re going, we haven’t exactly decided what we’re doing.”

“I’m goin’ back to Becky’s. The cops probably cleared out by now,” he replied.

‘Okay, way to fill me in on what the plan is,” you scoffed. 

“I didn’t realize I had to share every little bit of my thought process with you,” Dean clapped back.

“Well, it’s kinda helpful to know what you’re thinkin’ when we’re working together,” you told him.

“Whatever,” Dean brushed you off. “Why does it bug you, anyway? That’s such a stupid thing to fight with me about.”

“I don’t know,” you confessed. “Your face is just annoying.”

“Gee, thanks,” he retorted dryly. 

As you approached the car, you noticed the sun had begun to rise.

“I guess that answers the ‘what time is it’ question,” you noted. “It’s probably somewhere around five in the mornin’.”

Dean popped open the trunk, shrugging on the navy blue canvas jacket he found on top of the gun compartment. You grabbed your duffel bag out of the trunk before Dean opened the hollowed-out bottom of the trunk. 

You grabbed more silver bullets out of your bag and loaded them into your gun as Dean filtered through the weapons in his trunk.

“Doesn’t look like the shifter took anything,” he told you.

“Alright, to the sewers.” You headed up to the passenger’s seat after haphazardly throwing your bag over Dean’s head back into the trunk.

“Watch it!” Dean scolded. “You almost knocked me out!”

“But I didn’t,” you smirked, ducking down into the front seat. 

***

You and Dean pointed your flashlights and guns around the sewer as you walked down the corridor together. 

You walked into a chamber filled with candles and chains hanging from the ceiling. You aimed your flashlight at the ground, noticing many piles of shed skin and blood all over the floor. You even noticed a few teeth and fingernails near the pile.

“I’m gonna be sick,” you grimaced, looking up at Dean.

“(Y/N)?” you heard a muffled voice call from the far right corner of the chamber.

“Bec?” you responded, rushing over to a curled up figure covered by a tarp. You pulled the cover off to reveal a disheveled Rebecca, her hands and feet bound with rope.

“Thank God,” she sighed when she saw your face as you began to untie her. The blonde’s face was red, and tears had dried on her face. 

Dean came over to the two of you, coming up behind you. “What happened?” 

Rebecca started crying again as she spoke. “I was walking home, and everything just went white. Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?”

“It’s okay, you’re okay now,” you coaxed her as you finished untying her binds.

“Come on. Can you walk?” Dean asked as he helped Becky stand up. 

She nodded.

“Okay, we’ve gotta hurry. Sam went to see you.”

***

You jumped out of the car before it had even stopped rolling into the half-circle shaped driveway, rushing into Rebecca’s house behind Dean.

You held your gun out in front of you, Dean doing the same and yelling “Hey!” as he entered the living room. 

You saw the shifter in the form of Dean jump off of Sam, whom he had previously been strangling. Dean shot the shifter in the chest twice, and it dropped to the ground dead. 

You ran over to Sam. “Hey! Hey, are you okay?” you questioned as he slowly sat up, grasping at his neck. 

The younger brother groaned, nodding in response. 

You blew out a puff of air. Rebecca came running over, crouching down to yours and Sam’s level, looking him over. 

You looked back at Dean and watched as he ripped the necklace he always wore from around the shapeshifter’s neck. He looked over at you, giving you a knowing nod. His jaw was clenched, and his eyebrows were furrowed. 

You stood up, leaving Sam and Rebecca on the floor while you walked over to Dean. His eyes followed your face as you got closer to him 

“So, what are you gonna do with... you?” you chortled, trying to make light of the situation. 

He scoffed at you. “I guess have Becky call the cops once we get the hell outta dodge.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded, glancing down at the shifter. Your movements tensed as you remembered the awful things he said to you. Things that had apparently been on Dean’s mind; the reasons why he hated you. Despite the fact that Dean had apologized, you were still hurt. 

“You okay?” Sam asked you when he walked up behind you. 

You turned around to face him, noticing Dean had left his crouched position next to the shapeshifter.

“Yeah,” you lied, “I’m good.”

He gave you a knowing look with a tilt of his head.

You smiled half-heartedly. “We’ll talk about it later.”

***

You and Dean were packing up the car while Sam said his goodbyes to Rebecca. You looked on as the two friends shared a hug. When they pulled away, the blonde waved to you and Dean. You smiled at her, waving back. 

“So, what about your friend, Zack?” Dean asked as soon as Sam walked up to the car. 

“Cops are blamin’ this Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder,” Sam smirked. “They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with. Yeah, Becca says Zack will be released soon.” 

Dean rolled his eyes before he got into the car, leaving you and Sam chuckling to yourselves. 

***

Dean broke the silence in the car that you three had been enjoying the entirety of the ride up until that point. “Sorry, man.”

You looked away from the trees that flew by outside of the Impala’s window over to Dean.

“About what?” Sam inquired.

“I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be���.Joe College.”

“No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.”

“Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak,” Dean quipped.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” the younger brother laughed.

“Aw, isn’t this sweet,” you piped up from the backseat.

“Shut up, (Y/N),” Dean responded, making you snicker. He paused. "You know, I gotta say—I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.” 

Sam turned his head to his brother. “Miss what?” 

"How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?”

You snorted, curling up against the window while the car went quiet again. The shapeshifter’s words swirled around in your mind, causing the corners of your lips to turn down. 

Were you really a burden to Dean? Or was the shapeshifter just saying that to get under your skin? 

‘I mean, he never denied feeling that way when we were fighting,’ you reminded yourself. You huffed, crossing your arms. 

‘I’ll talk to Sam about it next time we stop,’ you told yourself. You closed your eyes and decided napping was a better idea than being in your own head at the moment. 

One final thought made its way into your head before you could suppress it. 

‘He can’t really think that badly of me... could he?’

Feedback is always appreciated and tags are open!

Series Rewrite Babes:

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Dean Girls:

@akshi8278

[ziracona]

Thinkin about how the NOES 2010 movie is so good. Listen…listen. It has really unusual structure. Most of the time, a horror film follows either a single unit (one person, one family) through a whole plot (The Witch, The Babadook, Saw, Halloween) or a group of victims with one pretty obvious final girl in the mix (Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I Know What You Did Last Summer), but NOES 2010 doesn’t do that. It takes you through several protagonists, one at a time, moving on from one teen to another when your initial protagonist is killed, starting with Dean, moving on to Kris, then Jesse, and then Nancy and Quentin when they’re the last two standing. It’s a fresh take, which makes everything so much less sure, and gives narrative weight to the characters who die instead of just making them bodycount. Everybody gets treated like the final girl, not canon fodder, which is extremely important to the story the film is telling. Nancy and Quentin don’t even become the film’s focus until almost halfway through the story.

Probably someone who is unfamiliar with the original film would assume Kris is the protagonist until she is killed thirty minutes in a little ala Psycho. It makes everything seem less certain, and makes the characters who you lose as important as the ones who make it, which is a really responsible way to tell something. A lot of the time, the characters in horror are kind of assholes (which is great and another rant for another day, because since the stakes are so low [literally you just have to care enough to not want the character to be brutally murdered], you can get an audience invested in an willing to explore the complexity of even a shitty  person—but like I said, that’s a wholeass other rant), but in NOES2010, they’re not, which I think is important. Never does the film want you to feel like the characters either suck and deserve something happening to them, or are stupid (look, when the publicist in Scream 4 got out of her car in an unlit parking garage in the middle of a Ghostface chase, I saw the wholeass theater stop cheering for her to live because she was so stupid we just couldn’t root for her anymore—it happens) and to care less about their outcome that way. Everyone fights hard and tries hard and it’s just not enough.

Obviously it’s a slasher, but NOES 2010 is really like a thesis work film on CSA and how it affects people, and the commentary is both responsible, and really, really well done. As someone who has had to write a character who has committed that kind of crime, and walk the fucking razor’s edge between making them duly awful, and not crossing the line into anything exploitative or gratuitous, I can say with certainty that is not an easy thing to do. Because you want to give weight to the suffering that has been inflicted and realistic portray of the depravity of your villain, but again, you really don’t want to show anything more than you have to. That’s not what it’s about, and honestly, you can talk about that kind of a serious issue without actually showing things on screen. A film about CSA would be kind of defeating its own purpose if anyone who had ever experienced that shit went to watch the movie and went away more traumatized. The film does a really responsible job of walking that line. Freddy is awful, and there’s a constant threat with him—especially in the film’s climax—but he never actually assaults anyone onscreen (or off, except in the referenced past. The worst thing he does onscreen is lick someone, which is still incredibly disgusting), and the film still manages to keep how awful he is very, very real.

CSA is a really shitty thing to go through, obvious, it feels incredibly of dumb to type that—any assault is. Obviously. One of the big things in dealing with it after is a lot of the time, victims can feel broken, or damaged, and even worse, be talked about like they’re some kind of ‘damaged goods’ by incredibly shitty people in their life, but the film doesn’t even give that enough weight to bring it up. There have always been two big ways in film to combat ideas, one of which is direct confrontation (IE a film specifically about something being wrong—Do The Right Thing talking very openly about racism for instance) and by just straight up not doing the thing (Star Trek dropping a woman of color in as both a major cast member, romantic interest for people of other races, and someone working in a position of power, and just being like Yup. This is just normal). Both of which are very necessary and useful approaches. In NOES 2010, all four of the protagonists are in romantic relationships at some point (and so is Dean, the mini-lead protag). It’s not played out voyeuristically, and you don’t get any hot makeout seshes, but they’re definitely in comfortable, functional, physical relationships. In a silent but fucking hardcore stance, while Kris and Jesse spend the night together early in the film, there is not a single on-screen kiss until Quentin and Nancy have found out the truth about what happened to them as kids, and a few minutes later, right before their final confrontation, they kiss. Not even a second thought about anything, except how much they really need and want to kill this piece of shit coming after them, as it should be. It’s a rockhard solidification that not only do the characters not see each other differently because of what happened, but it has done nothing to change who they are or what they can be.

The movie is only an hour and a half, which isn’t that long, but still manages to pack in not only multiple different realistic reactions, (Quentin goes through some hardcore withdrawl/denial after finding stuff out initially, Nancy gets fucking mad), but to cover some of what this is like for their parents. In one conversation with Alan, Quentin’s dad, he tries to explain the mob enacted justice on Krueger years ago by telling him that he hopes someday when he’s a parent, he never has to experience how it feels having utterly failed to protect your child. Even though they only have like thirty seconds of flashback to work with, the script gets in one of the parents in dismay asking what other choice they have about hunting Krueger down, because the alternative is making their three-four year olds get on a stand and tell a room full of strangers what happened to them. It’s a horrible, awful situation to be in. Although it would be really easy to make some drama between characters and their families, even the characters who die have good relationships with their families, and neither the dead teens or their parents are ever narratively ‘punished’ for anything that happens. Kris’ last words to her mom before she leaves on a flight, about eight hours before Kris is murdered, are, realistically, “Love you.” The last thing Nancy says to her own mother is, “I know you were just trying to protect us. Thank you,” and her mother’s last words to her are, “I’m just glad you’re safe.” Characters still die, but they at least get the peace of deserved last words to each other. The film also not only definitely does not vilify the parents for burning Freddy to death for assaulting their preschool aged kids, but comes down in its finale openly supporting that vigilante justice decision, with Nancy’s last words in the film being thanking her mother for protecting them.

Even the whole nightmare theme fits in well with the story being told, because nightmares are a very common side-effect of past trauma, symbolically, there’s a lot people have to fight through in their lives when that kind of shit happens to them, even years later, and it genuinely isn’t given enough weight by most people. As kind of icing on the cake in the film, not only does Nancy get to kill Freddy, he dies in a very ugly, undignified way, with a slit throat and gross expression on his face, after getting his ass handed to him in a like a thirty second fight in reality with two very motivated teenagers.

Plus, Quentin Smith is canonically ADHD, and Nancy Holbrook is a really underrated protagonist who reads autistic and I love her.

Anyway. This movie does a great job about using horror as a medium to talk about a topic usually only people already interested in that specific topic would check out, plays out its narrative very responsibly, comes down hard with a big two thumbs up to murdering your local pedophile in a bonfire, and says fuck you to assault victim stigma. My only real beef with this film is that they were so dead set sure they would have a sequel that instead of ending with real resolution, it’s got a stinger at the end (on rewatches I always skip the last scene lol).

Not that it’s a flawless film—it’s got budget parents, which I think is both hilarious and fantastic (meaning everyone except I think Dean has only one parent, the same gender as them, and it’s hilarious and I adore it). They had rushed filming for some of the end. Etc. But it’s really solid, and doesn’t get enough credit as a film. It’s very different from the original—less campy, less funny. But it’s supposed to be. It’s telling a different story. And it’s telling a really good one.

[winchesterbrotherstan]

Supernatural- Skin (1.06)

Pairing: N/A, Olive Winchester (OC)

Summary: The siblings head back to Stanford, disaster strikes, and they end up in a nasty sewer like rats

Warnings: cursing, killing, general nastiness, etc

Word Count: 5752

“Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.” Dean propped an arm around the back of the seat.

Sam didn’t answer, and I looked from Dean to him. He was on his PalmPilot.

“Hey, De. Sammy wears girly underwear.” I snickered.

“I’m listening, just busy.” Sam elbowed me.

“Busy doing what?” Dean asked as he got out of the car and went around to the gas tank.

“Reading emails.” Sam didn’t look up.

I popped my head out the window, and I looked at Dean with a tilted head.

“Emails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.” Sam replied.

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?” Dean scoffed.

“Why not?” Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

Sam shrugged. “I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with Olive and our big brother. Tell them I needed some time off after Jess.”

“Oh. So you lie to them.” Dean shrugged half heartedly. He had pulled something in his shoulder during the Mary hunt, and it was still hurting him.

“No. I just don’t… tell them everything.

Dean scowled. “Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man. I get it, tellin’ the truth it far worse.”

“So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

Dean shrugged in response.

“You’re serious?”

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.” Dean said.

“You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?” Sam scowled.

I laughed, and he looked at me. “You are too, Ollie.”

I pouted and Dean mumbled a whatever.

“God…”

“What?” I perked back up.

“It’s this email from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Becca?” I asked. I had met plenty of Sam and Jess’s friends when I stayed with them.

“Is she hot?” Dean asked, and Sam ignored him, looking back to the email.

“I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack. She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

I winced. I knew Zack too, and he was nice.

“Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with? You bring those people around Olive?” Dean scowled again as he got back in the car.

“No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.” Sam shook his head.

“Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.” Dean grinned.

Sam rolled his eyes. “They’re in St. Louis. We’re going.”

Dean laughed. “Look, sorry about your buddy, okay? But this does not sound like our kind of problem.

“It is our problem. They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, Sam.” Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam made his puppy eyes, and Dean looked to me for help.

“Ollie, tell him. We’ve been driving for two days.”

I sighed. I hated to be against Dean, but Sam was right. Something sounded off. Zack wouldn’t have murdered his own girlfriend. He was a kind person. I looked at Dean and pouted, giving him my own puppy eyes. Dean rolled his eyes and pulled out of the gas station.

                                                         ***

“Oh my God, Sam!” Becca shouted once the door was open.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky.” Sam grinned.

Becca laughed. “You know what you can do with that little Becky crap.”

They hugged, and Dean pulled me into his side.

“I got your email.” Sam sighed.

“I didn’t think you would come here.” She shook her head. “Oh my god, hi Olive! You’re so big!”

“Hi.” I waved.

“Dean. Older brother.” Dean stuck his hand out.

She looked him up and down and then smiled. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Dean nodded.

“We’re here to help. Whatever we can do.” I spoke up.

“Come in.” She stepped back into the house, opening the door further.

We walked in, and Dean was last, shutting the door behind us.

“Nice place.”

Becca laughed. “It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.

“Where are your folks?” Sam asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“They live in Paris for half the year, so they’re on their way home now for the trial. Do you guys want a beer or anything? Maybe a soda for the underaged kid?”

I laughed. “No, thanks.”

“So, tell us what happened?” Sam asked as we stopped in the kitchen, sitting around the table.

“Well, uh, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. She was beaten up, and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” She stumbled on her words, beginning to cry. “So, he called 911, and the police… they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police… they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight.”

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.” Sam shrugged.

“We could.” Dean agreed.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?” Becca asked.

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.” Sam grinned.

Dean laughed, and I smiled. “Detective, actually.” I added.

“Really? Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona. But I’m off-duty now.” Dean smiled.

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just… I dunno.”

“Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.” Sam insisted.

Becca looked around, then nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.”

Dean waited until she disappeared down the hall, then turned to Sam was a glare. “Oh, yeah, man. You’re a real straight shooter with your friends.”

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help.” Sam defended himself.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.” Dean shrugged.

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.” Sam made the puppy eyes.

Dean sighed, knowing he was defeated.

                                                        ***

“You sure this is okay?” Becca asked Dean.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I am an officer of the law.” Dean walked into the house first.

Sam and I followed. The walls were smeared with blood, and it smelled awful. There was furniture broken, also bloody.

“Bec, you wanna wait outside?” Sam asked.

“No. I wanna help.” She ducked under the police tape and left the porch, coming into the house.

“Tell us what else the police said.” I asked.

“Well, there’s no sign of a break in. They say that Emily let her attacker in. The lawyers, they’re already talking about plea bargain.” She looked around the room and began to cry.

“Look, Bec. If Zack didn’t do this, it means someone else did. Any idea who?”

Becca shook her head, but then lit up, remembering something. “Uh, there was a robbery, about a week before. Somebody broke in and stole some of Zack’s clothes. They didn’t think it was anything related. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.”

Dean turned his attention to a barking dog, and Becca came up behind him.

“You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“He just changed.”

“Do you remember when?” I asked again.

“I guess around the time of the murder.” She shrugged.

Dean and I looked at each other, and he started toward Sam.

“So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal.” Sam shrugged.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’.”

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

Dean shook his head. “No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

“Yeah.” Sam sighed.

“So, the tape. The security footage, you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction.” Dean turned to Becca.

She grinned. I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop.” Dean laughed as she kept going. “I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

                                                        ***

“Here he comes.” Becca pointed.

“22:04. That’s just after ten.” I noticed, looking to Dean.

He was sitting next to me, on the floor. Sam and Becca were on the couch, and the laptop in front of us was playing the video tape Becca had taken.

“You said the time of death was about 10:30.” Dean looked over his shoulder at Becca.

She nodded. “Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with.”

I looked to Sam, who seemed to notice something on the tape.

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?”

“Oh, sure.” She got up.

“Hey.” Sam called, and she turned around. “Maybe some sandwiches too?” He smiled hopefully.

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” She rolled her eyes with a smile.

“I wish.” Dean mumbled.

I moved to sit next to Sam. “What is it, Sams?” 

“Check this out.” He rewound it, and slowed it down.

Zack looked straight at the camera, and his eyes glinted silver. Sam paused it, and I gasped.

“Hey, maybe it’s just a camera flare.”

I shook my head. “That’s not like any camera flare I’ve ever seen.”

“You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul.” Sam looked to Dean.

“Right.” He rolled his eyes.

“Remember that dog that was freaking out? Maybe he saw this thing.”

Sam nodded. “Maybe this is some kind of dark double of Zack’s, something that looks like him but isn’t him.”

I perked up. “Like a Doppelganger.”

“Yeah! It’d sure explain how he was two places at once.” Sam’s eyes went wider and he smiled.

                                                        ***

“Alright, so what are we doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning?” Dean yawned.

“I realized something. The videotape shows the killer going in, but not coming out.” Sam stumbled out of the car.

“So, he came out the back door?” Dean got out and leaned against Baby’s hood.

“Right. So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.” Sam explained.

“Cause they think the killer never left. And they caught your friend Zack inside. I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning.” Dean emphasized, but Sam ignored him.

“Blood.” He noted, staring at a telephone pole. “Somebody came this way.”

“Yeah, but the trail ends. I don’t see anything over here.” Dean announced as we checked out the alleyway.

An ambulance zoomed past, sirens wailing. Dean and I looked at each other, then at Sam.

                                                        ***

We stood in front of the house, watching as an Asian man was handcuffed and crammed into a police car. I hugged Dean’s arm.

“What do you think happened?” I asked him.

“He tried to kill his wife.” A woman turned around. “Tied her up and beat her.”

Sam arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

She nodded. “I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say hello. He seemed like such a nice guy.”

The car drove off, the man inside looking like he was going to be sick. The boys and I looked at each other.

                                                        ***

I looked inside the other garbage can and found nothing. I dropped the lid back on and snorted, trying to get the rotting smell out of my nose.

“Hey.” Dean called.

We turned around. “Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded.

“Definitely our kind of problem.” Dean sighed.

“What’d you find out?” I asked.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked.”

“So he was in two places at once.”

Dean nodded and continued.

“So he sees himself in the house, police think he’s a nutjob.”

“Two dark doubles attacking loved ones in exactly the same way.” Sam remarked.

“Could be the same thing doing it, too.” Dean suggested.

“Shapeshifter. Something that can make itself look like anyone.”

Dean nodded. “Every culture in the world has a shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men.”

“Right, skinwalkers, werewolves.” Sam sighed.

“We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood.” Dean sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he looked around.

“Let me ask you this- in all this shapeshifter lore, can any of them fly?” Sam asked.

“Not that I know of.”

“Olive and I picked up a trail here. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way.” Sam pointed.

“Just like your friend’s house.” Dean noted.

I nodded. “Yeah. And, just like at Zack’s house, the trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared.”

Dean thought for a minute. “Well, there’s another way to go. Down.”

We looked down at our feet and saw a manhole cover, slightly ajar. I sighed.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, bug, we have to.”

“If the smell doesn’t come out you two are buying me a new flannel.” I grumbled.

                                                        ***

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too. The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.” Sam was first in line, shining the flashlight ahead of us.

“I think you’re right. Look at this.” He pointed to something and bent down.

It was a pile of blood and skin. I groaned, feeling like I was going to throw up. I gagged, and Dean stood up, pushing me aside.

“You’re fine. Don’t look.”

He bent back down, and I shook my head in disgust as he pulled out his pocket knife and held up a strip of skin. It had hair stuck to it. 

“Is this from his victims?” Sam was confused.

“Ya know, this is really fucking gross, but-”

“What if the shapeshifter sheds?”

I nodded as Dean completed my thoughts.

“That is fucking gross.” Sam wrinkled his nose.

                                                        ***

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad, is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.” Dean leaned against the car.

“Silver bullet to the heart.” I nodded.

Dean smiled proudly, ruffling my hair.

“That’s right, sweetpea.”

Sam’s phone began to ring, and he picked it up without looking. “This is Sam.”

A pause. “We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out.” Another pause. “What are you talking about?” Another. “Why would you do that?” His face paled. “We’re trying to help.” He sighed. “Bec, I’m sorry, but-”

Sam sighed, looking down as he pocketed his phone.

“I hate to say it, Sam, but that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You lie to your friend because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just… it’d be easier if-”

“If I was like you.” Sam’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Hey, man. Like it or not, we are not like other people. But I’ll tell you one thing. This whole gig?” Dean raised an eyebrow and held up a gun. “It ain’t without perks.”

Sam only sighed and tucked the gun into the back of his waistband. I took the other from Dean’s hold, and he loaded the last one before tucking it into his jacket.

                                                        ***

“I think we’re close to its lair.” Dean’s face scrunched up.

Sam didn’t look back. “Why do you say that?”

I grimaced, shining my flashlight as I spoke. “Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face.”

“Oh, God!” Sam exclaimed as he turned, eye level with the pile of bloody, hairy skin on the pipe next to him.

“Looks like it’s lived here for a while.” Dean shone his flashlight into the corner, where there was a pile of clothes.

“Who knows how many murders the fucker’s gotten away with?” I scoffed.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, tugging me into his side.

I turned to see the shapeshifter, still in the form of Alex, the guy from earlier. Dean got sucker punched in the face, and Sam shot after the shifter as it ran. I bent down, pulling Dean to his feet.

“Sam, go get the son of a bitch!” Dean hissed.

We followed after it, up the ladder and out the manhole, into the street. The boys and I looked around. I groaned. The sudden sprints and tugging myself up the ladder had brought back the old pain in my ankle from the Wendigo hunt.

“Alright, let’s split up. Olive, up.” Sam nodded, pulling me onto his back.

“Meet you around the other side.” Dean pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before walking off in the other direction.

Sam had his gun hidden inside his jacket, and I had mine tucked between my front and Sam’s back. We found nobody on the street that could’ve been the shifter, and nothing to indicate where he had gone. We waited on the street corner where we had split apart from Dean. I sighed from my perch on Sam’s back.

“Hey? Anything?” Dean’s voice came from behind.

“No.” I shook my head and sighed. “He’s gone.”

“Alright, let’s get back to the car.” Dean nodded.

Sam and I crossed the street, but a car cut Dean off. He caught up after, and we reached Baby. Sam put me down on the hood, and I winced.

“You alright?” Dean asked.

I only nodded. “You think he found another way underground?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, probably. You got the keys?”

I froze. Dean never gave me the keys. Why would he ask if I had them? I looked up at him, and under the light of the lamppost, saw that his eyes weren’t like they normally were. The pattern in them was wrong, looking almost like the diamonds of a snake as opposed to the waves of green that were his. I smiled.

“Sam’s got them.”

“Hey, didn’t Dad once face a shapeshifter in San Antonio?” I caught Sam’s eye and gave him a face of panic.

“Oh, that was Austin.” The shifter cut on. “It turned out not to be a shapeshifter, it was a thought form. A psychic projection, remember?”

Sam caught my glance and nodded, gesturing to his gun. “Oh right. Here ya go.” He tossed the shifter the keys.

He opened the trunk and looked at the weaponry. He laughed, eyes growing wide.

“Don’t move!” Sam shouted, and we both pointed out guns at him.

“What did you do with him?” I growled.

“Guys, chill. It’s me, alright?” The shifter looked at me.

“No, I don’t think so.” Sam hissed.

“You’re not him. Where the fuck is our brother?”

“You’re about to shoot him. Sam, Olive, calm down.”

“You caught those keys with your left. Your shoulder was hurt.” Sam accused.

The shifter scoffed. “Yeah, it’s better. What do you want me to do, cry?”

“You’re not our brother.” Sam shook his head.

“Why don’t you pull the trigger, then? Hm? ‘Cause you’re not sure. Guys, you know me.” The shifter put a hand up, a crowbar glinting by his side.

“Don’t.” Sam growled.

I hissed from my perch on the hood. I could kill him, because I knew it wasn’t Dean. No way on fucking earth was this Dean. But if I killed him, how would we find where he stashed the real Dean?

The shifter hit Sam with the crowbar, then hit him again. I screamed for him, and the shifter moved toward me, hitting my arm. I screamed, and his hand clapped over my mouth. He looked like Dean, but he smelled like death. I dug my teeth into his skin, and a chunk easily slid off. I gagged as it slipped into my mouth.

“You fucking bitch!”

I bit down harder, shaken to the core by Dean’s loving voice cursing at me with malice. I felt metal against my head and I was out like a light.

                                                        ***

“Where is he?” I heard Sam.

I tried to move, but I couldn’t. I opened my eyes wearily to see my head in Sam’s lap. He was tied to a wood beam, neck and wrists bound. The shifter pranced over and backhanded him. Sam groaned, and I looked back up to him.

“Where’s Dean?” I coughed out.

“I wouldn’t worry about him, princess. I’d worry about you.” The shifter snarled.

“Where is he?” Sam asked again.

“You don’t really wanna know.” The shifter chuckled. “I swear, the more I learn about you and your family… I thought I came from a bad background.

Sam couldn’t move his head, but I knew he was trying to look down at me.

“What do you mean, learn?” We asked in unison.

The shifter stopped pacing, he grabbed his head and hissed, pained. The shifter straightened, then squatted in front of us.

“He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. With a child.” He pointed to me. “You don’t think I had dreams of my own? You think I wanted to be a father? You think I wanted to raise a kid? No. But Olive needed me. Dad needed me. Where the hell were you? And you.” He pointed to me. “You stupid little bitch. Just can’t live a day without big brother, now, can you? Always gotta be by his side, up his ass. Such a pain. Can’t have a minute alone without you stuck by my side, clawing and begging and whining like a pathetic, fucking, little, lost puppy.” He snarled, and by the passion of his pain, I was almost convinced it was Dean.

“Where’s my brother?” I raised my voice.

The shifter leaned into my face, the wrong eyes glinting in the dim lighting.

“Oh sweetpea, I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous of Sammy here. He’s got friends. He could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.” He backed away.

Sam squirmed. “What are you talking about?”

“You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothing, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. Left me with a goddamn kid.” It was another snarl. “But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks.” A little laugh. “I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens.” He smiled, and threw a sheet over us. 

We waited until his footsteps disappeared, and then I let out a frustrated groan.

“God fucking damnit. Dean!” I shouted, biting at the sheet and ripping it off of us.

“That better be you, Ollie, and not that freak of nature.” I heard Dean’s growl, and my chest swelled with joy.

“Yeah, De, it’s us!” Sam called out with a laugh.

“Dean, he went to Becca’s, looking like you.” I called.

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one.” Sam’s face drew back and I laughed, sitting up. 

My wrists were tied to Sam’s ankles, but luckily were behind my back. Sam was working at the ropes around his hands, and I couldn’t see Dean, but I knew he was too.

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you. Or he was becoming you.” Sam sighed.

I wormed my wrists free of the rope.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked as I turned to untie Sam.

“I don’t know, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories.” I grunted.

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind meld?” Dean asked, his voice echoing across pipes.

“Yeah, something like that. I mean, maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us.” Sam hissed as I got his neck free.

“Maybe he needs to keep us alive. Psychic connection.” Dean tapped his forehead, and untangled the ropes from Sam’s ankles.

“Hands.” Sam pleaded.

Dean took over and untied his hands while I looked his face over, sighing at the cut on his cheekbone and the bruise forming above his eyebrow.

“Come on, we gotta go. He’s probably at Becca’s already.” Sam grunted, shuffling to his feet.

                                                        ***

“Come on, we gotta find a phone, call the police.” Sam pulled me out through the window and onto the street.

“Whoa!” Dean was left stranded, hanging half out the window.

“Hey, no!” I grabbed Sam’s wrist. “You’ll put an APB out on Dean.”

Sam shrugged. “Sorry.”

“Alright, come on.” Dean grabbed my hand and pulled me across the street.

We made it across the street, unsuspected. There was a TV in the store window ahead of us, a news report blaring red.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

A bad sketch of Dean followed, nose all wrong and eyes not wide enough.

“Man! That’s not even a good picture.” Dean groaned.

Sam hit his arm as we looked around, making sure we weren’t attracting attention.

“It’s good enough, Dean.” I scowled, grabbing him by the wrist and following Sam as he walked off into an alley.

“Man.” Dean grumbled again.

Dean stepped into a puddle and groaned. I looked down to see him barefoot, and I laughed. He glared at me.

“Aw, come on, De. They said attempted murder. At least we know-”

“That I didn’t kill her.” Dean sighed.

“We’ll check with Becca in the morning, see if she’s all right.” Sam nodded.

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.”

Sam stopped walking, exasperated. “We have no weapons. No silver bullets.

”Sams, the guy’s walkin’ around with Dean’s face, and he cursed me out.” I hit his arm.

“It’s a little personal, I wanna find him.”

Sam gave in. “Okay. Where do we look?

“Well, we could start with the sewers.”

“Dean. Again, we have no weapons. He stole our guns, we need more.”

“The car.”

Dean’s nostrils flared in disgust. “I’m betting he drove over to Becca’s.”

Sam nodded. “The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

Dean pouted. “The thought of him driving my car.”

“Alright, come on.” Sam pulled us along.

“It’s killing me.” He whined.

“Let’s just go, De.” I held a hand out, and he took it.

We walked in silence, until Sam perked up. “How’d you know it wasn’t Dean?” He asked over his shoulder. “I mean, I saw your face, and then the arm proved us right, but… how’d you know?” He stopped walking.

I shrugged. “Well, one, he asked if I had the keys. De never gives me the keys. And two, his eyes were all wrong.”

“His eyes?” Dean echoed.

I nodded, now sandwiched between Sam and Dean. “They just weren’t right. Didn’t look like your eyes.”

Sam hummed, impressed. Dean grinned, ruffling my hair. “That’s my girl.”

                                                        ***

“Oh, there she is! Finally, something went right tonight!” Dean sighed, relieved at the sight of the car.

A police car rolled up, parking right next to Baby.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Fuck.” I tightened my grip on his hand.

Sam turned around. “Oh shit.”

There was another car a few yards back. Dean grabbed me and pushed me ahead of him. “This way, this way. Let’s go.” He pointed ahead, to a fence.

“You two go. I’ll hold ‘em off.” Sam boosted me onto the fence.

“What?” I squirmed, balancing on the wood.

“Sam, they’ll catch you.” Dean’s eyes went wide.

”Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight. Meet me at Becca’s.” Sam reassured.

I hopped over the fence, and Dean began after me.

“Dean! Olive! Stay out of those sewers.” Sam called.

Dean looked at me and rolled his eyes, landing on his feet next to me.

“I mean it!” Sam thumped the wood and Dean rolled his eyes again, grabbing me by the hand.

“Yeah, yeah!” He tugged me along.

I heard a police officer yell at Sam, and I bit my lip with a wince. Dean pulled me to follow as we ran.

                                                        ***

“We’re sorry, Sam. But you know us. We just can’t wait.” Dean mumbled as we pulled the spare guns from the trunk.

I took the last two and tucked them into my pants, shutting the trunk. I slid the silver knife into my boot, clenching my jaw.

“Ready, baby?”

I nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be, De.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Let’s go kick some ass.”

                                                        ***

I flashed the light, trying to keep my hand steady. We had been in the sewers for at least an hour, and the smell of decay had sunk so far into my nose that I became used to it.

I shone the flashlight to the other opening, and I almost barfed. Dean looked over my shoulder and groaned. There was a room off to the side, lit with multiple candles, chains everywhere. Piles of the same hairy, bloody, and now slimy-looking, skin lined the floor. There was a clatter of chains, and my gun flew up. Dean stepped in front of me and grabbed one hand.

“Stay behind me.” He ordered, taking a finger and hooking it onto his belt loop.

I followed him through the dripping tunnels, ducking when he did to avoid pipes, even though he stood a head taller than me. We followed the noise through to another room. Someone coughed, and our heads snapped to a figure under a dirty, tattered sheet. She coughed again, and my eyes widened. I recognized that cough.

“Becca!” I tore the sheet off her.

Dean pulled me away. “It might not be her. Knife.” He held a hand out.

Becca’s eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to scream.

“Becca, no! Please. It’s us, I swear it’s really us. We just need to make sure that it’s really you.” I comforted, holding her by the shoulders.

Dean sighed, and pressed the flat end of the blade against her bare shoulder. There was no reaction, and we sighed in relief.

“Okay. Okay, you’re okay. Knife.” I held my hand out, and he gave it back to me.

I cut Becca out of her ropes. “What happened?”

She began to cry as we held her steady. “I was walking home, and everything just went white.” She whimpered. “Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?” She shuddered.

“Okay, okay. It’s okay.” Dean tried to soothe her. “Come on. Can you walk?” He asked.

She nodded. “Okay, okay. We’ve gotta hurry. Sams went to see you.” I pulled her up.

She groaned, and Dean grunted, pulling her into his side. We took off through the tunnels, rushing to save Sam.

                                                        ***

“Hey!” I shouted.

The shifter, again as Dean, pushed himself off Sam. He got up, and came my way. I shot twice, nailing him in the heart both times. I watched as the color behind his eyes drained, and he fell to the ground. I dropped the gun and began to shake.

“Sam!” Becca ran to Sam, and Dean grabbed me by the shoulders, turning me around.

“Hey. Hey, hey baby girl. Hi, it’s okay. I’m right here. I am right here. I’m okay. It’s okay.” He pulled me into a hug.

I whimpered. He let me go, and I moved to Sam. He sat up and hugged me as Dean went to the shifter. Dean snatched something off the shifter’s neck and nodded back to us.

                                                        ***

Dean and I were by the car. I was sitting on the hood, slumped against his arm. He was looking at a map of the US.

“I’m sorry you had to do that, babes.” He whispered.

“I’m just glad you and Sams are okay.” I shrugged.

“You’re an amazing hunter. I’m so proud of you.” He kissed the side of my head.

Becca waved to us, and we waved back. She headed back inside the house, and Sam came back to the car.

“So what about Zack?” I asked.

“Cops are blaming this freak Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder. They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with.” Sam shrugged.

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Becca says Zack’s gonna be released soon.”

“Come on, babes. Time to go.” Dean kissed my head again, and I smiled before crawling into the car.

                                                        ***

“Sorry, man.” Dean’s voice was a whisper.

“About what?” Sam’s hands were running through my hair.

I was crumpled between the boys, head against Sam’s chest. They thought I was sleeping, and I preferred it that way.

“I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be… Joe College.” Dean sighed.

Sam’s hand stopped, and then he sighed. “No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.”

I could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. “Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. And so is Olive.” Dean poked my nose.

Sam laughed, and he dropped his head against mine.

“Yeah, I know you two are.” He sighed.

“You know, I gotta say… I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.” Dean squeezed my leg.

“Miss what?” I opened my eyes.

“How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?” Dean smiled down at me, then up to Sam.

Sam kissed my head again and Dean looked back to the road as we kept driving.

Previous Ep: Bloody Mary (1.05)

Next Up: Dean the Birthday Boy

Next Ep: Hook Man

[ksfd89]

Chance Encounter

The self-indulgent Literati oneshot no one asked for about a chance meeting between Rory and Jess after the Bracebridge Dinner! Merry Christmas!

Rory wakes with a crick in her neck. For a moment she blinks, disorientated and wondering why Lorelai is squashed up beside her, until Rory remembers. I was the Bracebridge dinner tonight and they're staying at the Independence Inn. Emily was sharing with them but she went for a walk before Rory and Lorelai fell asleep and, as her eyes adjust to the dark, Rory can see her bed is still vacated. She guesses her grandmother must have gone back to her original room. Slowly, Rory eases out of the bed. Her mother makes a protesting sound but quickly falls back to sleep as Rory gets up. As quietly as she can Rory uses the bathroom, holding her breath as she washes her hands, but her mother hasn't stirred as Rory slips back into the room. She was going to just get back into the other bed but Rory is suddenly so thirsty she can't stand it. There's a glass on the table she can use but as well as the crick in her neck, Rory is suddenly wide awake and knows she won't sleep. Carefully picking up the other pair of slippers Emily deemed too small, Rory pushes her feet into them, pulls on her robe and quietly walks to the door. A glance behind her shows Lorelai still asleep. As Rory puts her hand on the door to open it she hears Lorelai mumble,

"Stupid stepmother."

"Sherry's not my stepmother. Go back to sleep, Mom."

"Mm," Lorelai agrees. Rory waits for her to roll back over before slowly turning the door handle and letting herself into the hall.

"Fancy meeting you here."

"What are you doing up?" Rory exclaims. Jess smiles, raising his eyebrows and says, "Could ask you the same thing."

"I got thirsty...I wanted a drink."

"Something like that for me too," Jess says. "Nice pjs, by the way."

"Thanks," Rory says, feeling herself blush as she tightens her robe. "Nice shirt."

"Oh, thanks," Jess says, glancing down. He's clad in sweatpants, shoes, an old Metallica shirt and, inexplicably, his jacket is bunched up under his arm. "I think it sets off my eyes, don't you?"

"Oh, sure. What's with the coat?"

"What?" Jess asks innocently as Rory points at it. "Oh, nothing...just in case I wanted a walk."

"Of course."

"So you're thirsty, huh?" Jess says, grinning. "Me too. I don't know about you but I could use a snack."

"After that giant dinner?"

"Excuse me, I've seen you eat. Don't tell me you couldn't eat something. Plus, half the food at that meal was weird. What the hell was that green stuff on the soup?"

Jess has a point. Now that he mentions it Rory does feel a little hungry, and she's been told numerous times she can always help herself to anything in the Inn's kitchen. She hesitates, smiles and nods.

"Okay, deal."

"Lead the way."

Rory heads to the stairs, strangely shy as she starts descending them with Jess behind her. It's the dead of night but Rory can't help wondering what she'll say if a guest comes out of their room and asks what on earth she and Jess are doing. What if Dean comes out? He won't believe this is unplanned.

"What?" Jess asks, catching her expression. Rory has switched on the light and is glancing around the kitchen, biting her lip.

"Nothing," Rory says briskly. "Sit down and place your order."

"Yes ma'am," Jess says with an obliging grin. "What do I have to do for room service?"

"Carry it upstairs."

Jess coughs, and nods as Rory suggests, "Sandwich?"

Rory pours a glass of water for her and Jess and, as she sips, notices he's still looking at her.

"What?"

"What what?"

"Nothing..."

Silently, Rory wonders if he's amused by her nightwear. At least she's not wearing the pyjamas with Mr Peanut on them. Opening the refrigerator Rory gets out bread and an assortment of cheese and meat for the sandwiches and two plates from the cupboard. As she passes it to Jess her thumb brushes his and a stream of warmth rushes through her.

"Thanks," Jess says and Rory nods.

"No problem."

Jess starts assembling his sandwich and Rory busies herself with cutting a tomato. It was just the surprise of contact that is making her feel weird, she tells herself uneasily. It's got nothing to do with Jess. But as Rory looks back up she sees Jess smile at her and the warm weakness goes right to her knees.

"Thank you," Jess says sincerely, indicating at his sandwich. "This is great."

"I just opened the fridge."

"Got me into the kitchen though," Jess argues. "I'll have to pay you back someday."

"How so?"

"I'll figure something out."

Feeling herself blush, Rory takes a large bite of her sandwich. For a while she and Jess eat in contented silence and, as Rory finishes her water, she feels herself relax. This is kind of fun, like before, when Jess jumped into the sleigh. Not that Rory's going to tell him that, when he could have hurt himself. Jess smiles at Rory again and without thinking she says, "I'm sorry you can't go home for the holidays."

The light mood has dropped as Jess mumbles, "No big deal."

"I'm sorry," Rory says, wondering how best to take her foot out of her mouth. "But you know, Stars Hollow can be great at this time of year."

The look Jess gives her shows Rory she's only succeeded in putting her foot further in.

"Gee, I'll bet. Let me guess, you all have a live enactment of a Charlie Brown Christmas and skip afterwards."

"No, but sometimes they show it at the bookstore," Rory says earnestly, making Jess laugh. "And sometimes Kirk does the Snoopy dance!"

"Now that I've got to see."

"We can arrange that!"

"We can, huh?" Jess says, leaning across the counter. "So what else does Stars Hollow offer this time of year?"

"Um, there's the Winter Carnival, and hot cider at Doose's and the snowman building contest though you already saw that," Rory says, starting to feel a little foolish. "Nothing that exciting, right?"

"Hey, I didn't say that. Will you show me Kirk's Snoopy dance?"

"I'll show you in that I'll take you, but I won't demonstrate," Rory says and Jess starts laughing. "Stop!"

"Sorry, it's just an interesting mental image."

"Nothing can compare to Kirk's."

"I'm sure," Jess says, wiping his eyes. "So Rory, what are your big Christmas plans?"

"A lot of nothing."

"Sounds good."

"Plus homework and a ton of work for the Chilton newsletter."

"Jeez, I thought you were on break."

"You don't get that much of one."

"That much is clear. Are you doing anything besides schoolwork?"

"Actually, my dad and his girlfriend invited me to come stay," Rory says, looking at her hands. "I've never visited them before."

"You haven't?"

"Nope - I've never met Sherry, his girlfriend. Mom's kind of wigging."

"Huh," Jess says. Rory looks up but he isn't mocking and his voice is serious as he asks, "Think you'll go?"

"I don't know...maybe. It feels a little weird. My dad didn't even come here until last year. I'd just see him at my grandparents' house or talk on the phone."

"Do you get along with him?"

"Of course," Rory says automatically but then she shrugs. "I guess I don't know him too well."

Jess nods and Rory feels a little weird, saying it out loud. She never talks about Christopher to anyone besides Lorelai and here she is bringing it up with Jess. "So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you talk to your dad much?"

"I don't have a dad."

"What?" Rory asks dumbly and Jess says, "He took off right after I was born. Said he was buying diapers."

Jess's voice is matter-of-fact but Rory exclaims, "Jess, that's terrible!"

"It happens."

"I know it happens," Rory says, flustered, "but it shouldn't happen."

Jess shrugs. "It's what it is," he says, taking a final bite of his sandwich. "I didn't know the guy so I don't miss him."

Rory bites her lip and Jess laughs, getting off the stool. "Jeez, it's okay. Don't feel bad about asking."

Rory nods, taking her plate to the sink. She's curious to know more; what Jess's mom is like, if he's going to miss her over Christmas, if he minds not being asked to come home. He must mind - how could he not? But Rory knows she can't ask. Instead, she busies herself with washing the plate and then Jess is by her side and scrubbing his. His hands jostle against hers in the soapy water, sending that warmth through Rory again and quickly she steps aside and dries her hand. Once she's done she tosses the towel to Jess and, as he wipes his hands dry, he asks, "You hang out here often?"

"Kind of - I used to come here a lot after school, when I went to Stars Hollow High. And I lived here as a kid."

"You did?"

"Yeah, in the potting shed. It was like our own apartment, mine and Mom's. I loved it here."

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes," Rory admits. "I like having my own room though."

Jess smiles and Rory's eyes land on his coat on the chair.

"So where were you going?" she asks shrewdly. "You were heading out somewhere - you've got your shoes on too."

"Slippers looked a little flimsy."

"And what, you were planning on a hike? It's below thirty degrees outside!"

"I just...needed some air," Jess says vaguely and Rory rolls her eyes.

"You were going to smoke, right?"

Jess nods but he still looks a little sheepish. He picks up the coat and says, "Hey, you want to come out for a minute?"

"I'm not much of a smoker."

"No - I just meant, it looks pretty out there."

It sounds odd to hear Jess say pretty but Rory doesn't challenge him on it. She grabs one of the spare jackets hanging on the wall and says, "Maybe just for a minute."

Jess grins as Rory buttons the jacket and follows him outside. It's so cold that Rory's breath is instantly taken away but it's also stunningly beautiful. The world is shimmering in sparkling white and Rory's breath comes out in a frost as she says, "Wow."

"Not bad."

"Are you kidding? It's beautiful."

Rory steps out onto the snow, not caring that her slippers soak through, and stares up at the midnight sky. The stars are impossibly bright.

"It's pretty nice," Jess admits and, when Rory turns back to look him, he's smiling. "I'm glad we came out here."

"Yeah," Rory says shyly. "Me too."

For a moment they smile unsurely at each other. The banter from earlier in the sleigh has been replaced with something else, something Rory isn't sure what to do with, but before she can wonder what to say Jess asks, "Will you show me where you lived?"

"The potting shed? How come?"

"I just want to see it."

"You know, Rune lives there now - Jackson's cousin."

"I'd still like to see it," Jess says. "If that's okay."

"Sure," Rory says, a little puzzled. "It's down by the lake."

They pad silently through the snow and around the gleaming water to the small building where Rory stops, nodding at it.

"Here. I know it doesn't look like much but Mom put up rosebud wallpaper and curtains and on warm nights we'd feed the ducks and watch the fireworks and she'd say they were for me..." Rory's voice trails off and she says, "It was just really nice."

"I'm sure it was," Jess says, with no trace of sarcasm. Rory looks at him and Jess gives her a small smile.

"Looks way better than any of the apartments Liz and I shared."

"Grandma thought it was awful. She's never lived anywhere like this. I never felt like I missed out, living here...I was happy. I think Mom was too."

As Rory says it she realises she isn't sure. She stares at the shed for a moment and Jess asks, "Rory?"

"I'm fine," Rory says, shivering. "Just cold."

They head back up to the inn and Jess looks over at the snowmen.

"I still think your snowman - sorry, snowwoman - should win."

"Agreed, but that one on the end will win."

"But it's so overdone!"

"I know, but the judges won't see it that way," Rory sighs. "It was fun to build at least."

Jess nods, still looking and stops just outside the doorway to the inn.

"You're not coming inside?" Rory asks, surprised. "Jess, it's freezing!"

"I'll be there in a minute, unless you want to stay out a little longer."

"Oh, you want to smoke," Rory guesses and Jess nods. "I'm way too cold to stay out any longer! I guess I'll see you in the morning then.

"Goodnight, Rory. Thanks for showing me the shed. And thanks for the snack too."

"It was fun," Rory says, smiling. "Goodnight, Jess."

Rory tiptoes back up the stairs and into the bedroom. Despite the cold from outside she feels warmed through as she creeps back into her bed and is still smiling as she closes her eyes. The next thing she knows Lorelai is waking her up and asking where the jacket Rory left on the chair came from.

As the guests start to leave and Rory has just about convinced Lorelai of her need for fresh air (at midnight?) Jess catches her eye. He and Rory smile, Rory glancing down and back up to see him still looking. She's smiling shyly back until she notices Dean see them and quickly ducks her gaze, hoping he doesn't figure anything out. It's strange, Rory feels like she's been with Dean forever now, yet can't imagine sneaking out with him anywhere. Of course there was the time they stayed out all night after the dance but that was an accident. Rory can't picture Dean wanting to explore the inn in the middle of the night, let alone go outside. He'd just protest that it's freezing and, before last night, Rory didn't think she'd ever want to either. Yet she's still smiling when she's thinking of being out with Jess like that, while the rest of Stars Hollow slept. It's their adventure and theirs alone. Rory knows she'll never tell Lorelai. She jumps as her mother says in a tired voice, "Ugh, let's go home."

As they take the sleigh back (the only way to travel, Rory's decided) she stares at the fancy snowman, or rather, the remains of it. Someone has completed kicked it to pieces and a slow smile starts across Rory's face. She guesses Jess didn't stop to smoke after all. She turns around to look at it properly and is still laughing as they pull away from it.

"Seeing the competition destroyed has put you in that good a mood?" Lorelai teases. "You're all set for The Godfather."

"It's not that, it's just -"

"What?"

"Nothing," Rory says, smiling at her mother. "It's just a happy time of year!"

[xfanfics]

Destiel Fic Rec List Part 1

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity. Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 48 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

For Science! by pm_lo E | 21k | ABO, Omega!cas, Alpha!Dean,

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

Even though this is a dialogue/email text only story, I still very much enjoyed it and found it ridiculously hot. Maybe I'm just easy. (No I'm not. This fic is good, read it.)

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison E | 68k | Firefighter!Dean, Professor!Cas, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining

Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean couldn’t be any happier for them. Honestly, they’re kind of disgustingly perfect for each other and Dean’s pretty damn excited about staying with them the week before the wedding. He’s Sam’s best man, of course, and he doesn’t even mind that Jess has her own best man to share in all the organizational duties. The more the merrier, right? Except Dean must have done something to epically piss off the universe because Jess’s best man just happens to be Castiel friggin’ Novak. He’s got even hotter since High School, but apparently no friendlier and if Cas wants to spend the week pretending like they’ve never met before? Fine. Two can play at that game.

THIS WAS SO GOOD I'M TEARING UP. tropes abound and I love it!

Cops and Robbers by kinkstiel E | 53k [WIP] | Detective!Dean, Criminal!Cas, Top!Cas, Bottom!dean

They locked eyes for a minute and then Cas leaned back as far as the cuffs would let him go, spreading his legs obscenely wide. “I want you to suck my cock, Dean.” Dean balked, mouth going dry in a second, eyes slipping to the now visible bulge in Castiel’s suit pants. “Um,” he said stupidly, face flushing red, eyes unable to pull away. Cas hummed. “Depending on how well you suck me, I might just tell you everything you want to know.” He licked his lips, smirking slightly when he caught Dean’s gaze. “And with sinful little lips like yours,” he made a low whistling sound, “I don’t doubt you’ll get every last name out of me.

So very good. Love the dark and dirtiness of it. It does get lighter and sappier towards the end tho.

Cursed or Not ❤ by Ltleflrt E | 115k | witch!Cas, shapeshifter!Dean, switching

While experimenting with magic when he was a kid, Sam accidentally cursed Dean. Now, Dean is forced to wear a spelled amulet constantly, or he'll turn into a random animal. For a little over a decade, he's learned to live with the curse, and has even found it useful in some cases, but he sure would be happier without it. When he meets a witch named Castiel, he's offered a deal. Instead of assuming all witches are bad, Dean can spend a season getting to know him. If at the end of the season, Dean still thinks he's evil Castiel will send him away with his memory wiped of the whole experience. But if he learns that Castiel is not the monster Dean assumes he is, he'll lift Dean's curse. It's an offer Dean can't bring himself to pass up.

Literally perfect. Enthralling world, magical relationship.    

Surprise Package by wannaliveindeansdimples E | 3k | Hot, , Dom Cas, Sub Dean, Light BDSM

When Cas' roommate Meg has to go out of town suddenly, she leaves him an unexpected gift.

So so hot. Non extreme Dom!cas and sub!dean.    

Never Have I ever by sweetdean M | 78k | Fluff,  High School AU, top!cas, bottom!dean

When Jo drags Dean along to a game of "never have I ever" with her friends, he finds himself getting caught up in a lot more than just a game. “Never have I ever hung out with such an asshole,” Dean countered, positively shocked at his own sass. Cas smirked again. “Oh, are we hanging out now?fricken adorable  

Road Signs by gemmiel E | 9k| Canon!verse, true form

Dean is curious about how angels have sex. Castiel shows him.

Damn. True form, soul sex, and regular sex. Yes please.    

It's Brilliant, Really by snarkymonkey E | 15k | Fluff,  AU, Professor!cas, Stuntman!dean

Castiel Novak is a History adjunct at Stanford University. He's also the most patient younger brother. When his older brother, Gabriel, decides to start *wooing* one of his younger waiters, Castiel reluctantly agrees to double-date with the intended paramour's older brother. What he didn't expect, however, was how much his own life would flip over such a careless decision.

Adorable. Hot, and adorable.  

Gabriel's Unfortunate Mistake by JackHawksmoor E | 8k | Hot,  AU

an answer to a prompt: Gabriel decides to hire a prostitute for his virgin brother Castiel as a joke, but instead accidentally hires Dean, a professional Dom. The moment Dean first lays a hand on him, Castiel knows he is lost. Dean/Castiel AU.

Um mm.... Damn. That was hot. Newbie sub!cas and pro dom!dean    

Well-Beloved Unto Me by  Moorishflower E | 3k | Alt!Canon, tentacles

The Winchesters don't get rewarded for all the shit they go through, so Dean is understandably wary when a few recharged and promoted angels offer him and Sam the vacation of a lifetime. Title comes from the Song of Solomon.

True form. And sex. MY FAVE.  

How to Date an Angel in 12 Easy Steps by Fourthduckling E | 23k | Fluff,  Alt!canon

It's not that hard to date an angel. All Dean has to do is fight off hordes of vampires, research gay porn, get sucked into a crappy Narnia, endure Sam's comments, creep out on Dr. Sexy, get harassed -- oh, and that's right-- figure out he's into Cas. Easy, right?

SQUUEEEE. Perfect and cute and cuddly.  

Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right But Three Rights Make A Left by the0voice0from0above E | 45k | High School AU, Dancer!Cas, Welder!Dean,

The beautiful Garrison Ballet School becomes home to a reckless bunch of misfits after the Colt Welding Academy is severely damaged in a fire and has to close for repairs. Needless to say, Castiel and his friends clash with their unwanted guests but there's one boy in particular who infuriates him.

Dancer!au. Love it love it love it!    

Rest My Angel by cobalt_wings E | 86k | Fluff,  Season 9 AU

Angels are falling from the sky, and Dean is losing it. Sam is dying in his arms, and one of those burning, twisting figures blazing through the night air might be his very own angel, Castiel. What can he do to help those he loves?

Sex and domestic and lots of fucking. My fave.    

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 21k | Fluff,  Alt!canon

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Team free will with kittens!! So fluffy and domestic but also a touch of angst.    

It's A Bet by vitamindesi E | 34k | College AU, top!cas, bottom!dean

Destiel College!AU in which freshman Dean is dared by his best friends to hit on senior Castiel at a party. He wants to say no but then someone starts a bet and Benny bets a sum that is ridiculously high for a student and Dean can’t disappoint Benny, right? I deviated only, but hopefully it suffices.

So fabulous and smutty I want to cry. Literally perfection.

Your Call Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by eBob, K_K_TiBal T | 66k [WIP] | Fluff,  College AU

AU in which Castiel accidentally sends a text message to the wrong number and befriends the person at the other end of the line. However, accidents don’t just happen accidentally, and sometimes two completely different people are exactly what the other needs.

LITERALLY THE BEST. So many feelings. I WANT IT TO BE COMPLETE SO MUCH. Abandoned WIP.    

Equinox by luchia E  | 12k | Alt!canon, time travel

In which Castiel is the weird time-traveling freak who just might be the love of Dean Winchester's life.

Confusing but perfect time travel fic.   

If I run by betty days E | 4k | Hot,  AU, sexting, long distance relationship

"Dean Winchester is a red-blooded American male. He lifts all the things. He aims for functional strength. He counts his macros and makes fun of curlbros. He is not a member of the Tarahumara tribe and he will not read Born to Run, no matter how many times Sam tells him to, because Starting Strength is the only book Dean will ever fucking need." Wherein a friendly competition with the mysterious ThursdaysAngel turns into a sexy selfie-trading spree that motivates Dean Winchester to train for his first marathon.

Soo. Hot. Makes me want to actually exercise?    

The Little Things by Alreadypainfullygone T | 2k | Angst,  Cancer, Major Character Death

Au based on 'the big C' in which Dean gets very sick, and deals with it the denial way. Meeting a homeless man on the way. Dean/Castiel Angst. Warning for trigger - Cancer. sorry if you think I dealt with it badly.

This is only 2.8k words, and yet it managed to make me cry.    

Do What Feels Good by  Catchclaw, cymbalism E | 12k | Hot,  Alt!canon, PWP

Castiel learns to love alone time in the shower. And then he learns to share.

Fuuuuuck that was hot. Castubation and shower sex is just so hnnnggg.    

All That Is And Used To Be by MisaChan E | 26k | Alt!Canon, wing!Kink

Dean never even knew anyone was living in the old estate outside of town until its mysterious occupant contracts his shop for a very specific job: a custom piano bench with grooves cut into the back. He finds Castiel and his terms to be eccentric with a capital E but the money is too good to turn down and anyway, Dean can't help indulging his curiosity about the guy and his secretive, isolated life. There are secrets that will not stay hidden and stories that refuse to be forgotten. Especially when they happen to involve Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel.

Ugh, I love this story. Concept, execution, and characterization are all perfect.    

Do I Have Something Like That? by MysticMoonhigh E | 2k | Hot,  horn!kink, wing!kink

based on the tumblr post I made: Does anybody know any demon!Dean fics where Cas makes Dean climax by basically giving his demon horns a hand job because I want this so badly out of lifE | I'm. I've read this about three times and I think I'm finally coming to terms with my alien biology kink. Hot. Wink!kink and horn!kink. Yes.    

The Doctor Will See You Now by  PetrichorPerfume E | 7k| Hot,  PWP sub!dean, gentle dom!cas, wing!kink

Dean has a medical kink. Castiel is more than happy to oblige. Starring Castiel as the slightly unorthodox Dr. Novak who enjoys prescribing enforced chastity and daily tease and denial sessions, and Dean as his needy, submissive patient who will do anything for a chance to come.

Wowowwowowow. Um. This was super hot. Nnnghhhh.    

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist E  | 176k |Angst,  a/b/o, omega!dean, alpha!cas, mpreg

Driving down a deserted road in the Rocky Mountains, Castiel finds something unexpected: An omega. Not only an omega, but a naked, injured, pregnant omega. Dean doesn't talk much at first, but that doesn't change the brightness of his soul. It also doesn't stop Castiel from falling in love with him.

I just... Wow. This was an amazing story. Beware that it is possibly very triggering, because of rape, assault, violence, and general bigotry. But perhaps because of all of that, you get a story that is almost painful in its reality, and it is all the more loveable for that.    

The World Crashing All Around by thepinupchemist E | 36k| Alt!canon, best friends wing!Kink, kid!fic

During a storm in September of 1987, Dean and Sam hear something hit their roof. When they brave the backyard to investigate, they find a fledgling angel. A story about best friendship, spoiled plans, and love, in four parts.

OH MY GOD. This was perfect all the way through. From soul bonds, to slow burn, to growing up together as best friends, it's all my favorite. And it even has wing kink, which is literally the best.    

Share Your Burden by aTimeOfMagic E | 3k Hot,  PWP, Sub!dean, dom!cas

Set at the end of 'Are You There God? It's Me Dean Winchester.' 4.02. Castiel shows Dean that he deserves respect, and Dean comes to see that Cas is not, in fact, just a 'hammer'. He also learns that his 'people skills' are definitely not entirely 'rusty'.

Damn. Um, really hot. Also, unexpectedly sweet.    

Flawless by Vaerin E | 69k | a/b/o, accidental bonding, sub!dean, dom!cas

A contract is out on the Winchesters, a large sum of money the reward for throwing them off their game. A witch in the town they happen to be passing through decides to collect. She sets her sights on Dean, trying to seduce him into leaving his job to stay with her. When she can't even convince him to warm her bed, she decides to turn her job into his punishment. Knowing he fears commitment and can't stand the thought of being with a man, she works a spell between him and Castiel... the one friend he can call a safe haven. When they end up mated the next morning, not only does the Winchester family business suffer... but so does Dean's friendship with Castiel.

Cute long soul bond fic. Contains sabriel.    

Chasing Normal by Donovanspen M | 16k | Fluff,  First time, Cuddling & Snuggling

Dean reevaluates his definition of an 'apple pie life' and what that means for him, personally.

This is the definition of domestic fluff and smut. There's a wee bit of angst because hey, it's set in the canon verse. But so worth it.    

Hold On by somuchforbaggles E | 92k | Fluff,  Angst,   mental illness

Castiel is sure that nothing in his life will ever change. Everything that happens to him is predictable, from the stability of his job to the unrelenting sporadic anxiety attacks, he can rely on his life to stay the same forever - until he saves Dean Winchester from the path of an oncoming train. From then on, everything changes for both of them, and the only way they can deal with it is together.

Woww. This was an amazing ride. Angsty and fluffy, then angsty again, then back to fluffy. So good.    

I said to myself again by avyssoseleison E | 2k | Fluff,  Praise!kink, Self-esteem issues

Dean finally lets himself be appreciated and cared for by his angel.

Praise kink is my ultimate weakness    

The One Thing You Can't Lose by MajorEnglishEsquire T | 4k | Fluff,  Cuddling & Snuggling

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

fluffy love    

Spit Slick by VeraBAdler M | 1k | Fluff, , First Time

[no description]

A super cute fluffy little oneshot :3 (tags say 'happy sex' and 'sexy cuddling' if you need more to go on)  

Late Bloomer by somuchforbaggles T | 7k | Alt!Canon, Wing!kink, Wingfic, Soulmates

On every child’s seventh birthday, a celebration is held to mark the beginning of their journey as a fledgling - a sprouting ceremony. It doesn’t matter if the child hasn't shown the symptoms of emerging wings yet, for it is scientific fact that every child grows wings in their seventh year, sometimes even earlier. Castiel is not every child.

A coming of age wing fic. With mates. Basically, I'm in love.    

Sleight of Hand by aileenrose M | 64k | Angst,  Human AU, psychic cas, journalist dean

Dean Winchester has interviewed them all--mob bosses, serial killers, crooked politicians. Next he plans to unveil the con-man who markets himself as Castiel, a reclusive and secretive "healer" who claims to heal the sick in return for thousands of dollars. Dean's expecting a challenge, but he never expected Castiel to be so clueless or sweet...or that he might be telling the truth.

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS AU. The one where Dean is a skeptical journalist/professional idiot and Cas is a socially inept healer and mind reader. There's lots of angst, but the payoff is so worth it.    

Leaning In by Anonymous T | 15k | Hospital AU

Castiel never changed out his scrubs, Dean had a way of getting himself injured and Sam seemed to think it was a good pairing

Even though I have no idea who actually wrote this story, it's worth a read. I'm always up for a good medical AU.    

Someone I Forgot to Be by  MatildaMavis E | 36k Fluff,  Angst,  Human AU

Castiel is content - sort of - with his quiet life in Boston...at least, until his new neighbor moves in. It's Dean Winchester, the cliched long lost love of his life. Can these two idiots find their way back to each other after eight years, after fame and loss and heartbreak? After Dean has found love again with Cas' neighbor, Lisa? Fate can be a sadistic bitch, they've both learned that, but maybe they've matured enough to be able to handle it this time. The sparks, the attraction, the tension...or maybe not.

I thought this would be extremely painful, and it sort of was. But it was so worth it.    

Didn't Get That Particular Memo by Snarkymonkey E | 5k

Dean has worked with his best friend for years and maybe it's a bit more than that for him but not for Castiel, right? Right. And really, he'd feel so much better if Castiel would just get a companion already. Because it's not like Castiel actually wants him, right? Right.

Damn, that was fucking hot.  

Cas, You Had A Baby? by allthebeautifulthings9828 M | 132k | Fluff,  Alt!Canon, Kid Fic, Slow Build

At some point in every angel's life, raising a fledgling is required. Castiel's turn comes rather unexpectedly when his superiors hand off a newly created infant angel to him and leave him to raise it with all of Heaven's principles of blind obedience. He's not sure what to do, so he tucks the fledgling in his coat and goes straight to Dean and Sam Winchester. Together, Dean and Castiel hatch a plan to raise the fledgling away from Heaven's control. And soon, the angel Hael arrives with news that, after Castiel disappeared, she and four other angels ran from Heaven's oppression with their fledglings. Castiel finds himself the unwitting ringleader of angels choosing to raise their fledglings with the principles of free will. Is angelic parenthood too much for his deepening relationship with Dean? Who can they really trust? (Disclaimer: This story depicts fledglings consuming honey for the nourishment of their undeveloped graces. Human babies cannot consume honey, so please do not feed it to your infants. This is fiction.)

Oh. My. God. I admit that I was skeptical at the beginning about this story, but let me tell you, it sucked me in. Sometimes, you run across a story that has wonderful OCs that you get attached to. This is one of those. And of course, the baby is adorable.    

Healing by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett M | 2k | Fluff,  Canon!verse, PWP

Castiel can heal more than just physical wounds.

Sensual and romantic.    

Better Late Than Never by whelvenwings G | 23k | Fluff,  Alt!canon, friends to lovers,

When Dean first sees Castiel, he's clinging on for dear life - and things never really get any easier. In fact, they get a lot harder; Dean's worst enemy isn't always the monkey bars. Bound together year on year by the ritual pact of being a Guardian Angel, Dean and Cas grow close, showing loyalty and bravery in the face of danger. But will they ever find the courage to admit their true feelings for each other - and will it be too late by the time they do?

i LOVE best friends to lovers fics! and this delivers on that perfectly.    

Like A Candle In The Window On A Cold Dark Winter's Night by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel T | 6k | Fluff,  Canon!verse, asexual Cas

In which Castiel saves Dean, Dean saves Castiel, there is beer and TV watching, and if it weren't for the monsters and assassination attempts, life would be almost perfect.

A cute little fic I've read multiple times :)    

How many slams in an old screen door? by dandelioness T | 15k | Fluff,  Theatre AU, Asexual Cas

In which Castiel is a theatre major terrible at first impressions; Dean is a set designer who likes Cas anyway; and the most chaotic production of Les Miserables in history somehow manages to go off without a hitch. Or, just as you should never give a moose a muffin (because he'll want some jam to go with it), you should never give a blank check to a university theatre department.

This is perfect. I can't speak for the accuracy of the information and feelings given about asexuals/asexuality, but I enjoyed this fic nonetheless.    

Breath of Heaven by solacesnake18 E | 9k

When Dean is wounded and dying in Purgatory, Castiel returns from his self-imposed exile to help him.

Wow. True!form cas and metaphysical sex that somehow manages to be poetic, emotional, and erotic all at once. I approve.    

The Mirror by CloudyJenn M | 24k | Canon!Verse,

When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

One of my favorite fics, and a fandom classic. So beautiful. It's a trip, but you'll love it. The ending makes me really emotional.    

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by chasingrabbits E | 121k | Fluff,  Human AU

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

Sweet little (well, not so little really) universe. Link is to the series.    

A Million Ways to Go by chasingrabbits E | 91k | High School AU,

Castiel Novak is a preacher's son living in a world of black and white. Pragmatic and dutiful, he doesn't understand why anybody would want to make waves. Then the Winchesters move in down the street. Soon many of the skeletons in the Novak family's closet are exposed, and as the family faces them, Castiel begins to understand that there are many ways to see the world and so many more ways to live than what he's been told.

Wow, this was a ride. Set in an alternate!canon where Cas is a repressed preacher's kid and dean still grows up a hunter. Also, lots of Sam and Gabriel brother!feels. Not sabriel.

Like That Foreigner Song... by DevilMadeMeDoIt E | 5k | Hot,  Alt!Canon, Deancest, Time trave

Dean and Cas have been together for a while now, but Dean always regrets that he has been with so many people in the past. He wishes he could go back in time and tell his 15 year old self that there is someone worth waiting for. Cas gives him the chance and the outcome is one that neither of them expected.

Oh god, this was a perfect little story. So much love.    

TutorMate by faeryn M | 21k | College AU

Sam leaves Dean's laptop logged in to some app called "TutorMate" and Dean meets his brother's tutor. Cas helps him with his own work and they strike up a friendship. Before long Dean finds himself growing attached to the cute, clever Cas and flirtatiously suggests they go on a date if he applies himself to his college work. Cas agrees, but Dean discovers his online friend is not quite what he expected. (Or, in which Dean thinks he's met a cute girl and finds out he's actually met a cute boy.)

Wowowwowowow adorable. Perfect little college AU.    

More recs coming soon.

[7official7moose7]

Part four.

Sorry if this is sloppily written, It was really late when I wrote this and I was just all over the place at that time lol.

TW: Angst, nightmares, big fluff, the usual. LOTS of Sastiel content this time.

Sam had finally fallen asleep.

It was 3:11 a.m.

He had finally fallen asleep after staring at the clock on the wall as it ticked slowly, reminding him that he’s wasting all these seconds in life just to exist.

But as he did fall asleep, he also fell back into the sea of worries just waiting to drown him in his sorrows.

…

It was like fire coursing through his veins.

Sam finally made it to the surface, but now it was an ocean, and he was in the middle of it. There was a horrible storm overhead, and the waves tossed him and pushed him under and he choked, struggling to keep breathing.

There was no land for miles. Rain poured down hard and cold, and the clouds rumbled and flashed above him. Sam was pushed back under, the water filling his lungs but he wasn’t dying. He was in immense pain, and the water did nothing to help it.

He screamed for Dean, and then Cas. Then Jack. and then someone, anyone who could hear. He yelled until his voice went raw and hoarse, and he could yell no longer. He was enraged, he was terrified and he was exhausted. 

Sam scrabbled at the waves desperately, clawing and flailing furiously. He tried so hard, but all it did was drag him down deeper. 

He began to lose strength, and he began to freeze. He coughed and sputtered and cried out, but it was no use. He was in the middle of the ocean, stranded, freezing and dying.

He was dying.

Either it was hypothermia or his body began to shut down altogether, because he could feel his arms and legs going completely numb, and soon, he could not move his feet. Then his legs gave out.

He was staying above water only by his arms, which were losing the ability to function as well. Thunder rumbled above Sam like a freight train, and he knew it would be the last sound he heard before his final breath took over.

But not yet.

Sam was still fighting. His fingers were completely paralyzed, along with his legs and feet. 

Soon, it reached all the way to his elbows, and he could not move at all.

But not yet!

Even as he was sinking, Sam held his breath and shut his eyes tight. He would make it until he could not possibly make it any longer.

Sam tried so hard, but he simply couldn’t hold it for as long as he’d liked.

But.. Now it was time.

Sam let himself breathe in, he let himself drown in the deep, dark water.

And as he slipped away into darkness, he watched the fish scatter away as he sunk. He heard nothing but the sound of thunder rumbling overhead. He felt his heart stop beating in his frozen chest, for one final time. 

…

Sam jolted awake, his eyes streaming and burning. He breathed heavily and his throat was raw and dry, as if he’d been screaming all night.

He sat up, feeling dizzy and hot. He looked beside him, as if someone would be there, waiting for him. He sighed, closing his eyes.

It was just a dream, of course.

He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his face with his sleeve. He sat on the bed for a second longer before getting up for some water.

And as he poured it, he looked to the motel door.

A short walk wouldn’t hurt, right?

Sam took a sip of his water (hoping it wouldn’t go to his lungs instead, which it didn’t) and poured the rest out. He grabbed his coat, slipping it on over his black tee. He considered changing out of his long gray pajama pants, but then decided against it. He’d just be out for a little bit, who would be awake at this hour anyway?

He slid into his tennis shoes and grabbed the keycard, unlocking the door and creeping out. He shut it quietly behind him and wandered down the sidewalk.

Sam took a deep breath, no water included, and jammed his hands into his pockets. He sniffed; the air was cold when he breathed in. It was cold season, but Sam was sure he would be fine. His teeth chattered just a bit, but he didn’t mind, as long as he wasn’t drenched in ocean water. Or any kind of water, for that matter.

He looked up at the stars, and how they twinkled effortlessly.

I wish it were that easy. Lucky stars.

And as he watched the stars, he thought of Castiel. He smiled softly as he began to feel warm and fuzzy inside. His face grew red just thinking about him. Or maybe it was just the cold. Am I getting sick?

His mind began to wander as he wandered in reality, traveling endlessly through the maze of thoughts coming and going. But, even now, Sam’s mind was like a traffic jam. Sometimes he thought all at once, sometimes he didn’t think at all. And when he didn’t think at all, he made bad decisions.

In one lane, his thoughts and emotions were racing past. In the other, his other thoughts and emotions stayed stuck, because there had been an accident up ahead.

The accidents were his conflicts. Like when he was seeing Lucifer, all he could think about was Lucifer and when he would get out of this mess. Like you do in a traffic jam. All you think about is what’s happening up the road and if you’ll ever get out of it.

Sam kept walking, kept thinking. The world was quiet, listening. He felt weak and achy, and his hands were clammy and trembling. But he overlooked it. I’m not sick.

And once Sam reached a dead end, he turned around and began walking back.

He wondered what he’d do if Cas ever found out. About his feelings, that is. Dean knew, Jack sort of knew, hell, even Jody knew. And Sam knew he was being obvious. He just didn’t want to say anything.

Because the night Jess died, Sam promised her and himself that he would never fall in love again, for her sake.

As he rounded the corner back to the parking lot, Sam thought back to the night she died. The scene of her on the ceiling replayed in his mind, and he felt his breath hitch. He shivered.

Sam didn’t care if he looked like shit right now. He didn’t care that he sounded pathetic, and he didn’t care that he heard the sound of angel wings flapping behind him.

Wait, angel wings?

Sam turned around, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

“Sam? What are you doing up this late?” Cas asked as he walked towards the Winchester. Sam stuttered a bit.

“I-I just.. Had another weird dream. Decided to take a walk, get some air.” he said, now caring a lot that he looked like shit. He fixed his hair behind his ear and blushed. “Sorry,” he laughed a little. Cas smiled softly.

“It’s alright, don’t apologize,” he said. Cas thought about telling Sam he was cute, but decided against it, because he knew it would make it awkward. But then he made a face.

Suddenly, Cas’ hands were on Sam’s cheeks, and he blushed.

“C-Cas, what are you-”

“You’re very hot, Sam.”

Sam flushed redder. “Uh, w-what?” he sputtered.

Cas blinked as he put his hands down. “Is that not the term?” he asked, but then realized what he had just said sounded like something else. Now, Castiel was blushing too. “Oh. I-I meant it as in temperature. My bad.” 

Way to not make it awkward, Castiel. Great job.

Sam was still processing, but nodded. The angel thought for a second before speaking again. “We should go inside. You need some water, and you need to cool down,” he said, and grabbed Sam’s hand. They appeared in the kitchen area, and when they landed, Sam stumbled like earlier, feeling dizzy. He gripped Cas’ shoulder to steady himself.

The angel looked to the lamp on the table and switched it on, its light illuminating the room enough to where he could see, but was dim enough not to wake Dean and Jack.

“Can’t you just heal me?” Sam asked, sitting down as Cas poured him another cup of water and set it down in front of him. “No, I can only heal physical injuries, not fevers. Now drink your water,” he said, grabbing and dampening three paper towels. 

I’m not sick, dammit!

Sam reluctantly did as told, and rolled his eyes as Castiel placed two on his wrists and one on his forehead. “That should reduce your temperature,” he said, taking a seat beside him. There was a long pause. Neither of them said a word, until Cas finally broke. 

“Sam, you’re not alright,” he said. “Even Jack knows that.”

Sam looked at him, agitated. “Yes, I am, Cas. If this is about last night, I was drunk. I had no idea what I was saying,” he lied. “Just stop worrying about me. I’m fine, really-”

“No, you are not. You’re so stressed that you’re running a fever, Sam.” 

“I’m not running a fever, you’re just overreacting,” Sam said, but immediately felt sorry. Castiel blinked. “Sorry,” the Winchester muttered.

There was silence, but then the angel said quietly, “You can’t lie to me, Sam.”

And Sam stared at the angel for a moment, a mix of emotions crossing his face. He wanted to tell Castiel everything, not just that he was stressed. He wanted to spill all of his thoughts and emotions right here, right now. But he couldn't. It would be too weird, and he didn’t want Cas to think he was a whiny sissy.

But as he thought this, Cas seemed to hear. He placed a hand softly onto Sam’s, as he did the other night, and looked him in the eye. Holy Chuck, Sam hated when he looked at him like that.

“Sammy, listen to me. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me how you feel. You need to vent at some point, it’s unhealthy for humans to keep to themselves too much.”

And at that point, Sammy broke down.

It started out as small tears, but then Castiel embraced him, and he began to sob quietly. He clung to the angel for dear life, apologizing and sniffling repeatedly. Castiel only shushed him, as if he was a child, petting his hair and whispering soft, reassuring words to him.

“I feel awful, Cas,” Sam breathed out. The angel only hugged him harder, feeling tears prick at the corners of his own eyes. “I know, I know. You’re okay, though. It will all be okay.”

“I-It’s so.. H-hard to keep this up,” he cried. Castiel nodded. “I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

This was not like Sam at all. This was a side of him that he never let show, only once to Dean, and that was when Jess died. He didn’t expect Sam to break so quickly around him, but Castiel sort of felt relieved knowing that. He hadn’t opened up properly in years, but he felt like he could trust Cas. 

He knew he could trust Cas. 

Once Sam had calmed down a bit, Castiel pulled away and looked into his red, puffy eyes again. They were glossy and sad, but there was a spark of relief somewhere in the hazel ocean.

Castiel wiped Sam’s tears away with his thumb, and Sam hiccuped. His hair was a mess, his face was red and his throat was scratchy. But Castiel didn’t care one bit.

“I’m s-so sorry, Cas, I-”

“It’s fine, Sam. It will dry,” he said, referring to his tear-soaked shoulder. The Winchester closed his eyes and leaned against Castiel, still sniffling and shaking. Cas held him, running his hand through Sam’s hair while he breathed.

“C-Cas?” Sam said hoarsely.

“Yes, Sam?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Castiel nodded.

“D-do you ever feel like.. Like you can’t breathe?” he asked, “L-like you’re drowning, but.. In your own fears?”

Castiel felt a pang in his grace. He was silent for a second.

“..Yes,” he started, “When I was in heaven, before I met all of you. I had so many responsibilities up there, and I felt stressed. It was very unlike an angel to be stressed about their duties, but I wasn’t created like the others.

“I was afraid of the other angels. I was afraid of how they would react when I told them that I felt that way,” he paused, taking a breath, “And so, I began to cause trouble.”

Sam looked down. “You were.. trying to get out of doing your job. Because you felt like you weren’t cut out for it,” he whispered. The angel nodded slowly.

There was silence for a while, and then Cas proceeded.

“Is that what you dreamt about on the way here? The drowning?”

Sam nodded reluctantly. “And before I went for a walk. The weird dream I said I had? It was worse. I went out so I could breathe.”

“You were drowning in water?”

“Yeah, the first dream was a lake. This one was an ocean, and the waves kept pushing me under. I-It was storming.”

“Oh,” Castiel said, but then Sam’s breath hitched again. He looked down, and there were tears forming in the Winchester’s eyes again. They were tired.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you-”

“Sam,” Cas said, pulling him closer, “It’s alright. Yes, I am worried, but it’s because I care about you. I love you, all of you. I’m supposed to worry.” he grabbed Sam’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Sam tried to squeeze back, but he was just too tired. He managed a small smile, though. A ‘thank you’.

Castiel felt the Winchester’s warm breath slow. He was still and quiet, but he sniffed from time to time.

The angel smiled, knowing Sam had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He fixed his hair, tucking it behind his ear, revealing his peaceful yet blotchy red face. He looked so weak at that moment, and it made Castiel’s grace shatter into pieces.

So, as carefully as he could, the angel took the paper towels off and disposed of them. His temperature had gone down a lot. He took Sam in his arms and carried him to the bed. He placed him down and fixed his hair one more time before leaning down and giving Sam a small peck on the temple. 

He turned to go, but Sam still had a grip on his trench coat sleeve, and it didn’t look like he was letting go.

Cas smiled softly. Alright, then. 

He climbed into the bed next to Sam, and he immediately felt warm and fuzzy inside. 

Sam seemed to as well, for he smiled in his sleep and his grip loosened. He sighed in content as the angel held him close again. He felt safe, he felt loved.

He felt at home.

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Falling for the Holidays Ch. 24

Title: Falling for the Holidays

Pairing: Dean x Reader AU

Word Count: 3525

Summary: With October ending and the holidays underway, that only meant one thing for Dean Winchester. It meant returning to his childhood home and spending time with his family. It meant listening to his parents, especially his mom, ramble on and on about when he was going to find himself a nice girl, bring her home for the holidays, and then eventually get married and have children.  However, Dean wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment, so in order to get his family off his back, he comes up with an elaborate scheme! But like the saying goes, “sometimes lies become truths.”

Warnings: Angst, Angst, and more Angst.

A/N: OMG! You guys have no idea how many times I wanted to cut off this chapter just to leave you guys on a cliffhanger, but I’ve found the right spot to leave it at. LOL. I hope you guys like it! I was in the zone for the most part while writing this, but then I had to go to work. I’m excited for y’all to read it!! However, I will warn you that I don’t know anything with how the police deals with things, so if I am way off, I apologize in advance. Also, thank you to everyone leaving feedback and reblogging this fic. You guys are amazing and I appreciate all that you do! This fic is starting to reach more people and I’m getting nothing but positive feedback and it does things to me. It really does motivate me to write and it somehow gets my mind juices flowing! Thank you again for the love and support. You guys are AMAZING! Happy Reading!

Dean raced down to the diner, haphazardly pulling into the parking lot, taking two parking spaces. He stalked towards his mother’s vehicle, noticing the key still in the keyhole. As quick as it was to assume, there was only one thing he could think of…

This was foul play.

“Dean!” Sam jumped out of his rental, rushing over to his brother’s side. Dean didn’t even notice him pull in. “Find anything?”

“Yeah, Mom’s car is still here, which means Y/N should be here too. Mom said that Jody told her that Y/N left the diner, but if she did, then why is the car still her? Something happened to her, Sammy. I can feel it in my gut!”

Sam sighed, running both of his hands through his hair. He had no reasonable explanation. All his logical mind could come up with was that something bad must have happened. No one would leave their key to the car jammed in the keyhole. He took a step back, stumbling over a large rock and falling on his ass. He hissed in pain, glaring at the rock as if it was really its fault. “Stupid ro—” Sam didn’t finish. The words lost as he noticed something…

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked, offering his brother a hand.

“No, Dean. I mean, yeah, I’m fine, but look.” Sam picked up the rock as he stood, not bothering to dust himself off. “Is that…”

“Blood?” Both brothers said in unison.

“You don’t think…” Sam initiated a thought.

“Fuck. That can’t be hers, can it?” Dean asked.

“I—I don’t know.” Sam was scared. He didn’t want to show it, not wanting to look like a wuss in front of his big brother, but he wanted to puke.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean shouted, catching the attention of people walking by. “I need to talk to Jody,” Dean stated, ripping the key out of the keyhole and shoving it in his pocket, before making a beeline into the food joint.

“Sam, Dean,” Jody smiled brightly as the two entered, but her smile vanished when she noticed the gravity in Dean’s face and the fear in Sam’s. “Hey guys, everything okay?” She asked, stepping back a bit and hitting the empty table behind her as the boys stopped in front of her.

“No,” Dean barked, his voice louder than expected.

“Uh, what Dean means to say is… uh, we were wondering if you seen Y/N come in?” Sam spoke for his brother.

“Okay, first of all, personal space,” she mentioned, hinting to just how close Dean was standing. The green-eyed man cleared his throat and situated a respectable amount of space between them. Jody eyed Dean, wondering if she should be concerned about him or not before answering his question… or rather, Sam’s question. “Yeah, she was here, but she left quite some time ago,” Jody turned to Sam. “Is she not at home? Your mom said she walked in right before we hung up earlier.”

Dean bypassed her question, asking another one of his own. “Was there anyone else here with her?”

Jody’s brows furrowed, confusion forming on her expression. “No, she was alone.”

“No one talked to her or interacted with her in any way?” Dean inquired.

“Other than me, no. None that I know of…” she frowned, observing and trying to read the distressed man in front of her.

“Thanks Jody,” Sam offered, smiling weakly. “C’mon Dean—”

“Actually…” Jody blurted. “Lisa and some guy she used to come here often with were here. Y/N seemed like she knew them.”

“Lisa?” Dean repeated.

“Yeah. Lisa and some British guy. I never really like him,” Jody confessed.

“Ketch…” Dean snarled, his facial features deepening into something one would call, pure hatred. “Thanks for the help Jody, but we have to go,” Dean nodded, turning and heading out the door.

“Thanks Jody. See ya!” Sam called over his shoulder as he chased after his brother. “Dean, wait!”

Sam hopped into the passenger side of Dean’s truck, deciding to leave the rental there. He clutched onto the car handle by his head while his body tensed with fear. Dean was driving fifty in a twenty miles per hour zone. “Where are we going?” Sam asked, gulping.

“To find Lisa…”

Back at the house, Jess and Mary were sitting in the kitchen, each with a cup of tea in front of them, hoping the warm liquid would put them a little at ease. John on the other hand had been waiting outside for Rufus, the town’s Sheriff and retired detective. If there was anyone that could help, it was him for damn sure!

The sound of tires grinding on the driveway signaled his arrival. There were voices coming from outside before the door swung open. Mary sat straight in hopes that Y/N would be walking through the door with Rufus.

“Mary, Rufus is here,” John announced, walking into the kitchen with the Sheriff in tow.

“Rufus, thank you for coming over,” Mary greeted.

“Hi, Sheriff Turner,” Jess waved.

“Now, now. Rufus would do just fine,” he replied to the young blond matched with an assuring smile. “How about we all have a sit down and discuss what exactly happened?”

“Sounds good,” John answered.

Mary smiled, getting up from her seat to fetch Rufus a cup of coffee. As she set it in front of him, he thanked her and took a sip, appreciating the feel of the hot drink soothing down his throat. “That’s some good stuff,” he complimented before getting down to business. “So… according to John, a miss Y/N Y/L/N may be missing?”

“Correct,” Mary answered.

“Alright. John has already sent me a photo, and I’ll admit… Dean’s done good. She’s quite the beauty,” he smiled, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

“Thank you,” Mary offered a small grin.

“Now tell me what happened. Start from the very beginning of the day,” Rufus instructed.

“Yeah, sure,” Mary agreed. “Well, we were all at home and John and I gave Dean some… some news…”

“What kind of news?” Rufus asked, jotting things down in his small black book.

“A paternity test.”

Rufus froze, his once scribbling pen coming to a halt. He glanced up at Mary before averting his eyes to the other two people in the room. “Alright, go on about this paternity test.”

“Okay… uh, you know Lisa Braeden…”

“Oh yeah. She’s the one with the kid— oh… right. Continue.”

“Well, she’s been insistent that Ben is my son’s child. So I… well, I got some DNA and had it tested,” she confessed hesitantly.

“And how did you manage do that? I’d assume if Lisa was trying to convince Dean that he is the father, she wouldn’t allow you to get any form of DNA from the kid if she was lying.”

Jess was enthralled with the drama taking place in front of her. She was listening to a story that could be watch on the LMN channel, except this was real, and the main characters were people she actually knew. “Wow… this has gotten real interesting…” she muttered, unknowingly speaking her thoughts out loud. When everyone looked at her, she flinched, finally realizing what she’s done. “S-sorry.”

Mary inhaled deeply, a little ashamed at what she was about to admit. “The day that Y/N ran away back to Dallas and Dean went after her. Lisa stopped by worried and asked about Dean. That time, she had Ben with her and I saw this as my opportunity. I offered Ben some milk and cookies and well… when they left, I saved the cup and brought it to the hospital in hopes it was enough to get a bit of his DNA. And getting Dean’s DNA… that was easy. I just used his toothbrush.”

“I see…” Rufus said as he wrote more down in his notebook. “Well that answers that. What else happened today? What happened when you told Dean about the results?”

“Obviously, Dean was confused at first and then he was furious, but Y/N was there to keep him under control. We left them to themselves, letting Y/N take over, and when Dean was relaxed, we went to eat at Singer’s for lunch. It was great up until we were leaving.”

“What happened when you were leaving?” Rufus prompt.

“Lisa showed up,” Jess jumped in, rolling her eyes. “She got Dean fired up pretty quick.”

“Did anything happen? Any altercations I need to know about?”

“Y/N slapped Lisa in the face in the parking lot. That was pretty great,” Jess chuckled, missing the way Mary and John looked at her. Mary was a little apprehensive, but John had a small smirk on his face. He was damn proud of that moment too.

“And why would Y/N do that?” Rufus questioned, taking his eyes away from his book.

“Because Lisa wouldn’t tell the truth,” John answered. “Dean kept asking for the truth and when Lisa continued to lie, Y/N lost her shit.”

“John,” Mary smacked her husband’s chest, disapproving of his usage of the English language.

Rufus laughed lightly at the couple. “It’s alright Mary. I’ve heard worse. Hell, I tend to use a bit of profanity when I do the job. But I usually save it for those rotten teenagers and all the drunk assholes I have to deal with. Anyway, please, continue.”

“That’s pretty much it. We came home from lunch, Dean and Y/N were up in their room, Sam and Jess were in theirs, I took a nap, and I believe Mary was gonna do some baking,” John shrugged.

“But then Y/N came down saying she forgot her bag at the diner, so I let her take my car,” Mary added, “and well, she hasn’t been back since. I called Jody but she said that Y/N had already left. I didn’t want to worry her so I told her Y/N just walked in and that everything was fine before hanging up.”

“Well, that’s a good place to start. The diner,” Rufus nodded, closing his book.

“Wait—” Jess jumped in, all eyes falling on her. “There was also someone else there.”

“Who?” Rufus asked.

“Um, a friend of Y/N. I think his name was… Kent? Kutcher? I can’t remember, it started with a K,” Jess scrunched her brows trying to think of his name.

“Oh. Ketch!” Mary piped.

“Yes! That’s it, Ketch!” Jess cheered, glad to know that she wouldn’t have that nagging itch in the back of her mind as she tried to recall the damn name. “I think I heard Dean say something about how he was a stalker or something. But that Ketch guy said was spending Christmas with his family who lives in town, which is why he’s here.”

“Ketch, huh?” Rufus jotted the name in his book. “Okay. I’m going to make a quick call, and then I’m going to head over to the diner, ask the staff a few questions and I’ll give you a call if I find anything.”

“Thank you for your time Rufus. I appreciate it. I know you’re a busy man,” John smiled, shaking the Sheriff’s hand.

“If by busy you mean signing papers and eating doughnuts all day, then yeah. I’m one busy man,” he joked, everyone in the room laughing. “You folks have a good afternoon. Give me a call if you get any news from Y/N or anything relating to her.”

With one final wave, and once the door was closed, Rufus rushed over to his truck with the Police Department Logo on it, along with the words, Sheriff. There was something about that name. Ketch… he’s sure he’s heard that name before. It had been a long time ago, but he was positive he knew it. He pulled out his phone calling the office.

“Howdy Sheriff!” His deputy greeted.

“Andy, I need you send out an MP report for a Y/N Y/L/N. I’m sending you the picture right now. Also, I want you to check the name Ketch for me in the database. Anything that pops up, let me know, no matter how old. You got that?”

“Got it Sheriff.”

“Once you find something, you call me. This is your priority, nothing else you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright, get to work. I’ll be in later.”

While Dean was speeding down the streets, he took his phone out, pressing your number, which was the first one on his favorites list. “Dean, should you really be on the phone right now?” Sam asked, fearing for his life, but Dean didn’t acknowledge him. He was too busy lost in his own raging thoughts and trying to get a hold of you.

Your phone lit up and Lisa’s eyes went wide when she saw Dean’s name on the screen. “D-Dean’s calling!” She panicked. “And Y/N is still asleep!”

Ketch glared at her. “Just leave it. But we need to get out of here. I’m sure he’ll be heading this way. No doubt that the waitress gave him a bit of information. Bela, how far do you live from here?” He asked.

“About fifteen minutes away.”

“Good, let’s go,” he instructed, taking you in his arms.

“What about Ben?” Lisa asked.

Ketch groaned, completely forgetting about him. “That kid is a nuisance,” he commented, conspicuously aggravated.

“Hey, he’s still your kid too, whether you like it or not,” Lisa barked, her Mama Bear instincts kicking in. “Ben is a good kid. No, he’s a great kid. And if anything, he’s too good for you. You don’t deserve to have a son like Ben. You don’t deserve kids at all!”

“I don’t care” Ketch let out with a frustrated breath.

“I wish I never met you,” Lisa gritted her teeth.

“Again… I don’t care.”

“Dean is a better man than you’ll ever be. He may be pissed at me right now, and he may hate me forever, but he will always be the man I wished was Ben’s real father—” Lisa strode up to Ketch, glaring him down. “And Y/N… I can’t believe you fell for her. After today, she will never give you a second look,” she spat, getting into his face as mush as she could with you still in Ketch’s arms.

“Like I said…” he put you back down on the couch, “… I don’t care. I’ve never cared about you or Ben. The only reason I hadn’t killed either of you yet is because the authorities are looking for me,” Ketch revealed, towering over Lisa as he pressed his chest to hers.

“What are you talking about?” She asked, stepping backwards, bumping into Bela as she went.

“You should really be careful when it comes to people. You can never really judge a book by its cover,” he smirked, stalking over to the two women.

“Stay back or else!” Bela shouted.

“Or else what? What could you possibly do to me? I’ve got—” suddenly, there was a click and Ketch froze.

“I said, stay back!” Bela snapped, drawing a gun and pulling back the safety lock.

Ketch eyed the weapon, confusion washing over his face. “Is that—how—” he was at a lost for words. He had no idea how they could have managed to get his gun, until he remembered his little square off with Lisa. “Clever aren’t we?” Ketch scoffed. “Who knew you had it in you,” he scoffed, glaring at Lisa.

“Don’t underestimate us,” Lisa sent him dirty looks.

“Do you even know how to use it? Have you ever even held one those before?” He teased.

“Aim and shoot, that’s pretty much it, right? Besides, I may have grown up pampered, but my father had his hobbies and I happened to pick up a few skills because of it,” Bela grinned. “Now, tell us who you really are?”

Dean cursed when he reached your voicemail time and time again. “Son of a bitch!” He cussed, banging his hands on the steering wheel.

“Dean, calm down. Don’t worry. Y/N is going to be fine. What’s the worse that can happen? Lisa is harmless,” Sam tried to coax his brother.

“It’s not Lisa I’m worried about, it’s Ketch. I don’t know anything about the guy. He could be some sick psychopath for all I know! Not to mention, he’s got a thing for Y/N!”

Rufus reached Singer’s Diner, waving to some of the community members as he walked in. He took his usual seat at the bar and Jody walked up. “Hey there Sheriff, the usual?” She smiled, her hospitality and customer service always at top notch.

“Ah, no, not today. I’m actually on the job,” he returned her kind gesture. “I was hopping I could talk to few of the staff members, starting with you.”

Worry flooded back onto Jody’s face. “Has this anything to do with Dean’s girlfriend, Y/N?”

“How’d you know?”

“Dean and Sam came in here guns blazing asking if Y/N was in here. I told them that she left. I also told them that Lisa and some other fella was in here and that they seemed to be acquainted.”

“Okay. Did you actually see Y/N leave?”

“Yeah, I watched her walk out the door.”

“But did you see her get in her car and leave?” Rufus interrogated.

“No. I just assumed she got in and left. When I was talking to Mary on the phone, she said Y/N had just walked in.”

Before Rufus could ask another question, his phone started ringing. “Sorry, I have to get this,” Rufus excused himself, seeing his deputy’s name lighting up the screen. “What is it Deputy?”

“Ah, Sheriff, I found some files on the name you gave me. Seems like a real bag guy.”

“Great, I’m just gonna finish up and head back to the station. Leave the files on my desk.”

“Sure thing.”

“Andy, hey!”

“Yeah, Sheriff?”

“Is there a picture of this guy?” He asked.

“There is, but it’s only a sketch from a witness. Uh, Pastor Jim. Want me to send it to you?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“Alright Sheriff, I’ll do that right away.”

“Good job Deputy.”

When Rufus hung up, Jody still standing in her spot. “Everything okay?” she wondered out loud.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine. I actually have a picture I want to show you, it’s just a sketch, but it should do the trick. I just want you to validate that this man was the one with Lisa. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, of course. If it means I can help, then yeah.”

Rufus’s phone dinged just in time. He pulled up the message with the sketch and showed it to Jody. “Is this the man you saw with Lisa Braeden?”

Jody scanned the photo and instantly recognized him. “Yes. He’s changed a little. Older looking, fuller face, wider chest, but if I had to make a connection, then yeah. That’s him.”

That was the only confirmation he needed. “Thank you for your time, Jody. I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early for my usual,” he gave her a friendly smile before heading off.

As he stepped out heading over to his truck, he noticed a familiar car parked near the end of the parking lot. He hadn’t seen it earlier due to the fact that there was another car blocking it at the time, but he knew that was Mary’s car. His eyes narrowed, before making his way over. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for the fact that the girl who was supposed to be driving it wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Rufus let out a frustrated sigh. He had to get back to the office and read up on the files that were waiting for him. As he pivoted to head to his truck, he tripped on the same large rock Sam did earlier. “Dammit,” Rufus hissed. “What the hell is a giant rock doing here?!” He grumbled, kicking it, but as he did, he noticed the stain covering it. “God dammit!” He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and returning to his truck.

Going over a little passed the speed limit, he made to the police station in record timing. He barged into the station, ignoring everyone that tried to greet him. Upon entering his office, he saw the thick file sitting on his desk with the name Arthur Ketch.

He opened the file and the first thing he sees is the witness account sketch, then multiple news articles, followed by stolen artifacts, murder reports, and a claims from previous investigations from different states and countries.

He definitely heard of Arthur Ketch before. Arthur ketch was a young mastermind, talented in what he did. He sold things on the black market. Stealing ancient artifacts, one of a kind jewelry, sculptures, and all sorts of other things. He did what ever it took to obtain them. Manipulation, murder, bribery, you name it, he’s most likely done it. One thing was for sure… that man was dangerous.

Gathering everything he’s gained under his arm, Rufus called John Winchester.

“Hello?” John answered.

“John, we need to find Y/N and your boys ASAP.”

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