#also daniel is a talented tattoo artist!

[betweenthetimeandsound]

I can never stop looking at this piece. It really sums up the OG Abnormal Summit dynamics perfectly! And tells a cute story about how a boy eventually rebels against his father.

(Plus I've rewatched some of the early stuff and it holds up beautifully*. You know what to do, JTBC)

*except the times whenever Enes would discuss about family and such, which...yeah. That said, he was a lynchpin of the early episodes, and his will in episode 18 was really touching.

This ‘Abnormal Summit’ fanart is KILLING ME [cooru58]

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Artist!Dan (2) Masterlist

part one

Blank Canvas - rosegoldjh

Summary: Dan is an extremely talented but unrecognized tattoo artist, his body a black and white masterpiece. Phil, on the other hand, has everything against tattoos. When he’s dragged along to his sister’s addition to her collection of ink, he realizes that perhaps turning one’s body from a blank canvas into a work of art is something to find beautiful instead of repulsive.

Bliss - addictivephangirl

Summary: dan is your typical teenage artist. he draws on anything and everything thats blank. especially his arms. or the one where dan decides to draw on himself instead of cutting himself and phil is a tattoo artist to make dans drawings stay forever.

Charcoal - (ao3) starboydjh

Summary: Dan gets lost in the art store, Cute Employee With Glasses (ie Phil) comes to his rescue.

Cosmic Flowers (ao3) - cassidynoga

Summary: Dans owns a tattoo shop and moves his business into the building next to Phil's flower shop. Phil speaks flower. Louise speaks flower. Dan does not.

Excerpt: Dan felt his face get hot. “It was nice of him. I guess that’s what happens when you work next to a flower shop.” He shrugged. “And yes, he was cute, but generally my type,” he said, making air quotes around the word type, “has more tattoos and less flowers.”

Déjà Vu (ao3) - xawesometrio

Summary: Daniel Howell was born with the curse of immortality and the only way to break that curse is to meet his soulmate twice and fall in love twice. He has already met Philip once and now he must wait for the chance to find him again.

Fritillaria meleagris (ao3) - TsingaDark

Summary: Tattoo Artist Dan moves and opens up a tattoo parlour opposite Phil’s flower shop.

hearts made of coffee (ao3) - softnerds

Summary: While working in a coffee shop, Dan continues to be visited by an interesting stranger who refuses to tell Dan his real name, only pseudonyms related to his interests.

His Dan, he liked the sound of that (ao3) - pastelpunkdan

Summary: “Yes, I’ve been watching you draw pictures of us together in your notebook all semester, I am literally sitting right behind you.”

---

Or where Dan has been drawing him and Phil together, and Phil finds it cute.

i skip classes and my heart skips beats (for you) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: phil lester is in student council, he's a straight a student and quite the overachiever. not only that but he is loved by basically everyone in the school and is attractive as all hell.

dan howell skips classes all the time and does the bare minimum to pass classes. he just draws and talks to basically no one and yet somehow, him and phil find themselves in a friendship which turns into something far bigger.

restless (ao3) - overwhelmedbysonder

Summary: Breathe. Just breathe.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

It’s not that I don’t try. I see my family, my friends, visiting with their faked smiles and forced laughter, desperately trying to pretend that things are fine, that nothing’s changed. I see them and I want to reach out, I want to look at them and smile and reassure them that I’m here and I’m fine and I’m here, but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.

Or, the one where Phil struggles with depression, PTSD and being mute, and Dan just wants to hug him.

scribbles on an ink-stained page (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: the second dan leaves, phil goes to look at the book he is constantly drawing in but never shows to anyone. the first page has dan's name on it. the second page, and the third, and the fourth and every one after that, are filled with drawings of phil.

The Art of Love (ao3) - ThatmakesmeNervous

Summary: Dan and Phil are in their beloved college days. They share not only a room and a great friendship, but also a love for the fine arts. However, when their professors assign them a project where they have to express their love for someone through their chosen major, how will they react? Will they keep their feelings for each other at bay and choose someone else for the project besides each other? Or will they finally pull their heads out of their asses and realize they are totally in love with each other so they can do their projects?

The Art Of Teaching (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan used to be into art when he was in high school but stopped once he grew up but started again and now has a website where he sells his art for money. Phil is a principal at a high school, and nobody is aware that he has a husband, someone he’s been with since he was a teenager. Something happens to the art teacher so Phil offers Dan the job, and Dan takes it. Phil finally introduces Dan to the rest of the school as his husband.

You're My Inspiration (ao3) - thatsthephan

Summary: Despite hating his job, Phil Lester couldn't be happier to be working at Takk on a fateful Thursday in January, when he finds one customer that stands out from all the rest. He doesn't get inspiration from things very often, and he doesn't know if this will be any different. But he sure hopes so, for the sake of his writing. Dan Howell hates studying Law at University. He hates that all he wants to do is paint, but can't seem to find anything beautiful enough to waste his time on. He hates pretty much everything except painting, and even that isn't going the way he wants it to. That is, until he meets one person that might change his outlook on things. As crazy as that sounds.

[seeingivy]

random method acting thoughts + asks

correct. you are absolutely correct. AND I THINK I MENTIONED THIS A FEW TIMES but every time I feel like method acting drama is unrealistic I remember that nicki minaj exists and sleep well at night. MEGAN DEFENDER FOR LIFE

trust. we've got a tweets heavy chapter. and her comeback tweet is so petty I don't even know how we got here but we're here

WAIT UR SO RIGHT. casual E charm around her neck and she's just like yeah what? no i'm not dating him what are you talking about (yes, she is)

thank you so much ☹️ i've been having the worst week (for two weeks in a row) and kind words like this mean so much to me. the headspace has not been the most fun space to be lately (and sometimes I worry that reflects in what I wrote) but i'm glad that it's made you happy and given you that feeling of love. that's all I could hope for and it almost makes me teary eyed that some shred of that is still there even when i'm not feeling the best 💌

here are my random thoughts:

connie has the online presence of tik tok user @/nmillz. like him single handedly reviving all in my head (flex) by fifth harmony (PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE SEEN IT) is the funniest thing ever and even the way he talks/what he talks about reminds me of method acting connie 😭

this is so random but mentally in my head, I associate some of the characters with like real celebrities and influencers in terms of aesthetic and vibe, which i've seen some readers do which is so interesting cuz our picks are never the same

like y/n in my head is olivia rodrigo coded. like her having a specific brand (very romantic, lovey dovey) when she was on disney channel (and maybe was asked to lean into really hard) as opposed to guts/sour which is so.....emotional/ jealously/rock that's kind of the vibe I get from that character (or at least where we are headed)

historia in terms of aesthetic/character is sabrina carpenter and taylor swift. sabrina carpenter in terms of aesthetics/looks (she is very much the beauty standard, the dream girl, nonsense outros) and in terms of character is taylor swift? like she's a relatable but there's a part of her that's always going to be untouchable (for taylor that's just cuz I think she's a billionaire/very detached from reality, but for the character that just stems from being so deep in the whole industry type thing that she kind of forgets what matters sometimes)

gabi in general reminds me of billie eilish, in terms of where her character will go. I wanted to include the real life hate that gabi as a character got in the show into the story, but I also feel like that hate sometimes is given to billie eilish. to the point where when she wins grammy's she's apologizing bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it, but at the end of the day...she's one of the most talented artists in our generation? what was I made for? bad guy? happier than ever? they were all phenomenal. gabi can be a great actress but she'll never feel like it!

sukuna and y/n give zendaya and timothee vibes. eren and lana give bradley cooper and emma stone in the variety actors on actors interview.

falco and gabi are walter scobell and leah sava jefferies in terms of dynamic and vibes. I will die on this hill.

eren and y/n are andrew garfield/emma stone (ref: she was like a shot of espresso), danielle galligan/calahan skogman (ref: matching tattoos), daisy ridley jones/paul mescal (ref: undeniable SOMETHING)

hyla just has kardashians/nicki minaj level audacity. like kim wearing a purple dress and posting a story w/ speak now...nicki minaj ai generated diss track like that's her.

[f1-junkie]

Fancy a fun question chain to pass around f1blr?? Over to you, lovely!

Name (or what you want to be called on tumblr)

Where are you from?

Where do you live?

Any pets?

Favorite driver(s) currently on the grid, and why?

Favorite driver(s) not currently on the grid and why?

Favorite romantic driver pairing(s) (e.g. Maxiel, Carlando)

Driver you’re most attracted to physically

Driver whose personality you like best

Favorite driver friendship(s)

Favorite team principal

Favorite team

Least favorite team, if any

Driver(s) you dislike, if any

If you’re a fic writer: if you could only write about one f1 pairing for the rest of your life who are you choosing?

Please send this to 10 (or more!) other F1 tumblr users that you love and want to get to know better 🫶💜

Hi hi! Thank you for tagging me!!

• I’m Amor!🩵

• Was born and raised + currently live in Eastern Europe✌🏻

• I’ve got an adorable Scottish fold kitty which I am absolutely obsessed with

• Lewis Hamilton, the one and only king🩵 I also like Charles, he seems humble and adorable, I also admire Fernando Alonso

• As for those not on the grid currently.. I like Seb and Kimi, and them as a pairing - they just compliment each other so well

• My 4ever love is Carlando, my first ever f1 ship🥺 I also used to be a gewis shipper - in fact, I still have a couple of unfinished gewis artworks that I don’t want to just abandon and plan to finish and post. Via this particular ship I also met some super talented artists and writers that I still support - for instance, @bejwled writes absolutely bomb fan fiction, @russilton and @miaucedes create great super cute arts and have very distinct unique style - shoutout to you guys!💝

• Most attracted to physically… Lewis, I must say. Just… the way he’s built and all the tattoos do the thing for me😩 also, big forehead supremacy

• Personality-wise I would also say Lewis, also Daniel with all his bubbly goofy energy. Also, I think Fernando Alonso is funny in an effortless way, and Yuki is a lil chaotic menace fgfghggf

• Favourite driver friendship is Pierre+Charles! Also Pierre+Yuki if we talk friendship/platonic romance hehe

• No favourite team principal, sometimes toto is funny

• Fav team is Merc, just because Lewis is in it✌🏻

• No team that I particularly dislike

• No drivers I hate who are on the grid currently

No tagging anyone in particular but I’d love to see any of my mutuals doing this tag as well🩵

[danielfuckingricciardo]

I figured y’all would enjoy my new tattoo!

I didn’t want to directly copy Daniel’s tattoo cos I felt that was a little weird lmaoo also I’m not about that hand tattoo life XD It’s just a subtle nod to my homeboy!!!

And my artist is so fucking talented and their style is 10/10

(Feat. one of my other nerdy tats which is the same as the one Rick O’Connell has in The Mummy Returns and is about a year old!)

[thereasonsimbroke]

Rebel Moon Trailer And Snyder's Epic Vision Unveiled

In Ep. 580, Sam and I discuss Sony raising PlayStation Plus subscription prices, the passing of Arleen Sorkin, the original voice of Harley Quinn, the Rebel Moon teaser trailer, and more!

Chapters 0:00:14 Introducing the Reasons I'm Broke podcast 0:01:11 Mario Brothers Movie Gets Second Chance with 4K Restoration 0:05:26 Controversy over Batman and James Gunn's comments 0:08:07 Uncertainty for the Future of Sonic Games 0:16:56 Frustration over PS5 Availability and Exclusive Games 0:17:23 PlayStation Plus and PC Performance of Final Fantasy 0:21:05 Uncertainty Surrounding Disney Stock and Investment 0:24:23 Exciting Releases: "Child of Fire" and "The Scar Giver" 0:25:28 Zack's Vision: Unrestricted by Star Wars Boundaries 0:35:07 The Unique Design of Lightsabers in the Movie 0:44:44 Harley Quinn's Rise to Popularity 0:49:47 Controversy over Joker's "Damaged" Forehead Tattoo in Suicide Squad 0:54:47 Controversial Design: Cholo Culture and Popular Characters 0:55:21 Dressing as a cholo and its impact on the movie. 0:58:58 Superhero fatigue and the reception of lesser-known characters. 1:02:30 Chasing positive reviews without financial success. 1:06:16 Cyborg vs Blue Beetle: Solo Films 1:14:03 Meeting a talented artist at a convention 1:21:18 Batman's Love Interests: Catwoman vs. Talia 1:25:13 Favorite Harley Quinn-centric episode: Mad Love or Harley's Holiday?

FOLLOW/SUPPORT SAM: Ronin Council (SoundCloud) @samuelboylston (Sam's Instagram) @sam_boylston (Sam's X) As always, we appreciate your constructive Feedback, Suggestions, and Questions. You can also leave us an audio question on SpeakPipe. Thank you for the continued love and support! Enjoy the show. Daniel and Kelli Podcast Awards 2019 || Games & Hobbies (Winner) Podcast Awards 2017 - 2018, 2020 - 2022 || Games & Hobbies (Nominated) Official Site SUBSCRIBE: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / iHeartRadio / TuneIn / Overcast FOLLOW US: - X | @ReasonsImBroke, @PalpaKelli, and @TRIBPod - Instagram - Pinterest - Tumblr - Discord Lounge - YouTube Channel SUPPORT THE POD: Getting $1's worth of entertainment and information each month? Support us on Patreon or visit our TeePublic storefront! SPREAD THE WORD: If you're enjoying the show, please head over to iTunes and leave us a rating and a review! Each one helps new Brokettes discover the podcast. Donate to Hero Initiative to help comic creators in need. Donate to the Autumn Snyder Tribute Fund to support the work of AFSP. CREDITS: Opening/Closing Jingles - Alex Scott Show Logo By - Opanaldiova

The latest episode of The Reasons I'm Broke Podcast!

[izanagyan]

Oh man know, it's super pricey lol but I tried a shot of it in a hotel bar once and it put everything else to shame. I've only had 2 bottles since and that was maybe 5 years ago? So I don't get it often and I drink it verrrrry slowly when I do have it 😅 what's your go-to drink if you have one? I mainly drink wine bc it's not expensive and it'll get me comfortably tipsy without having to do shots of something harder which isn't always fun alone.

It's so refreshing that you know the skin struggle! None of my friends have any experience with it so it's very hard to explain the difference when the faux stuff is labeled as "skin", they really don't see why it's different for the needle and I'm just like????? Did you ever get any tattoos while hanging in that crowd?

Ooh mr cool guy, huh? The troubled artist smoking alone on his breaks~ lol I'm playing but that does sound kind of fun. Even in high school I remember how fun it was to be a senior around the freshmeat. Oh uh I mean freshmen. And I've heard similar cautions from other people I follow that are in art school. Some of which are vastly more talented than I am and are still failing classes. That's really hard for me to watch but it sounds like a lot of it stems from the teachers not only being hard asses but also being wildly inconsistent with what they're looking for when grading. I don't think I'd handle that environment well at all so I'm kinda glad I didn't go too. How much longer do you have? I hope you can get back into enjoying being creative someday soon if you think you'd like to continue with it in some way. It's extremely difficult to find enthusiasm again in my experience but it can happen so I hope it does for you. -🍥

damn now you're giving me crazy bad ideas. I can't spend that much on alcohol alone but I really wanna try it. My go to drink is Jack Daniel's whisky, the one that has honey in it. It's pricey but still affordable. If you wanna get tipsy quickly just drink on an empty stomach, you probably already know this and this isn't the best advice but it saves you money lol.

Don't worry I understand your struggle with tattoos haha, but practice makes perfect whether it's on artificial skin or not, being persistent is key. Yes, they did give me some tattoos. They weren't amateurs so they turned out quite good.

yeah I like messing (in a good way) with the first years, they look so lost it's funny to me. The professors are a whole different breed, it's hard to come across a normal one. You gotta be a little delusional and hard headed to handle art school. I've got 2 years left. And thank you, I also hope I'll be able to enjoy art again at some point.

[sgt-morgan]

Lucky Kentucky ch. 1

Chapter 2

Hello there, this is my new Rockstar!Bucky x Reader fic. It was heavily inspired by my love of seventies mega rockstars, Almost Famous, Classic Rock, and a little bit of personal whimsy. I hope you enjoy, and read responsibly.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ : cussing, sexy times, drugs, booze, smoking, objectification, fornication, liberation, and a litany of other sordid topics and traumas.

Your name didn’t matter, at least not so far as you could tell. They called you Kentucky, sometimes if they felt cheeky, Bluegrass. You liked it, the first band that gave you that name was some shitty college band out of Detroit. They were convinced they were gonna be the next Led Zepplin. They called it quits three years later, a good old fashioned Rock n’ Roll suicide, booze, women, and drugs. The finer things always gets the best amateurs. However, their lead singer had a way with words, he came up with the nickname. He also wrote a beautiful song about a girl named Kentucky, who he just couldn’t swing, some big named country superstar sang the song and the last you’d heard he had been writing for the best of the best since. This earned you your title, Lucky Kentucky. A bit on the nose for your taste, but it made perfect sense. You kept following the music, you went to a band in L.A., the day you left, they signed a record deal with Sony. The next was a little English girl and her backing band, her first tour of England with you landed her a tour of the US faster than they could say ‘Burbon.’

You are what is known in the music business as a road manager, so far as you could tell, this was the job you were born to do. You made schedules, you supplied booze and other artifacts, you got hotels, paid off paparazzi, packed busses, and shoved half out of their mind rock stars on to stages in more countries than you could count, you couldn’t imagine any better life. You were the best of the best, you were who the record company called when everyone else had given up. You were a fixer, and an incredibly talented one at that. You had a gift for taking a mediocre side show band, and turning them into headliners.

So when you got the call from Tony and Pepper that you had to fix The Howling Comandos, you were shocked. They were big time, nothing like your usual fixer upper opener that you could make insta stars. They certainly weren’t your crowd, but you always had a problem saying no to Pepper, Tony’s company manager. Tony was a talented mixer, and a gifted album technician. So when he started his own label, it blew up pretty quickly. The comandos were the first band he signed. They had won Album of the Year their first Grammy season without even batting an eyelash. So once business started booming, Pepper took over the paper work, and Tony did what he did best, Fucking around with a mixing board. You had met them when you started working with Natasha and the Widows, a Blondie style punk outfit. They had a pension for eating men alive. Eventually, it got in the way of their success, so you stepped in and saved the band from total destruction. You and the starks had been thick as theives since.

“Tony, you mean to tell me, that the Commandos, the biggest artists of the decade, need my help?” You scoffed down the line, checking the Widows out of the last hotel of their tour with Greta Van Fleet.

“Yes Bluegrass, I do. Barnes is going through some existential heart break shit ‘cause ole bitch called of the wedding, and fucked the Guitarist of their opener. He’s been all drugs, booze, and sappy shit since, and someone’s gotta get the mother fucker back on stage. I’m Loosing money here Kentucky, something’s gotta give.” Tony sounded livid, there were very few times where Tony was as frazzled as this, so you knew it was serious.

“Alright, but I have conditions.” You sighed, you thought you could hear the sound of Pepper weeping tears of joy, but you couldn’t be sure. “I want the Widows to open, I’m not done with them yet Stark they’ve got some potential that still needs to be tapped. I want Frankie on security, I want Wanda for wardrobe and makeup, I want Vision for my techie, and I’m taking Peter as my Head roadie.” It was a big ask, but if you were doing this, you were gonna need the best possible team.

“Jeez woman, rob the treasure chest would yah? You want all of them? You just asked me for the entire roster. They’re on other tours! I can’t just- HEY! Woman don’t you-“ you heard a slap and an ow, and suddenly you were with the one and only Pepper Potts- Stark.

“Kentucky? You have a deal. You can have the Allstars in three months, everyone’s tours should be wrapping up, that puts you just in time for festival season. You up to it?” Pepper sounded like someone had just kicked her puppy. So you knew, you were the only one that could save the day.

“Virginia? Count me in. Give me the three months to plan and connect with the team and I’ll make sure James Barnes makes it onto that bus.” You could practically taste her relief through the receiver. What had you just signed up for.

————————————————————————

You’d done it. Six months, 7 bus rentals, 75 hotels, 107 plane rides, 20 festivals, 95 shows, 89 cities, and roughly 200 people later, you had managed to construct the American leg of one of the biggest and longest tours you had ever seen. All it took was two months, and 23 bottles of Jack Daniels, and you had done it. Now all you had to do was meet the band, and have your first tour meeting.

You had never been so nervous to meet a group of men in your life. Normally, these meetings we’re pretty laid back and informal. Lots of getting to know you, and goofing off. This time, you were in charge of a multi-million dollar tour that could make or break the band of the decades d ruin your career. No pressure. Needless to say, you were fairly nervous.

You were relieved upon arrival that the first people to make it in were the people who seemed to be the most reliable. Vision and Wanda were quietly whispering  to eachother in the corner as always, their hands gently intertwined as they surveyed the rest of their new subjects. Frankie was standing off in another corner looking like an immovable brick wall. His sunglasses firmly in place on his nose, looking scary as always. Peter was off with the widows flirting with their drummer. You didn’t think it would end well, seeing as MJ was a bit of a hot head, and Peter was akward and nerdy, but to your surprise, they seemed to be getting along swimmingly. Natasha and Carol were staring at a book full of something, if you had to guess, it would be song lyrics of some variety, and to your shock and absolute awe, Peggy had saddled up to Steve Rogers. Steve was the guitarist of the Commandos, and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company. Tony and Pepper were chatting with Clint and Sam the drummer and bassist of the Commandos, and Bruce Banner, your newly appointed second hand. James Barnes was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, well, good to see that most of you have arrived early!” You smirked walking to the head of the table with your big box of tour folders, Peter moving instantly to help you. “If I have not yet made your acquaintance, I am Kentucky, just Kentucky, you may call me Bluegrass or Lucky, but I will always prefer Kentucky. It has come to my immediate attention, that you sorry suckers were in need of a fantastic road manager, and here I am.” You survey the room as you spoke taking into account every face that you could see in the room and making sure everyone was following. “Now, where is James?”

————Some unnamed bar across town ————

Bucky’s head pounded. Wether it was from the booze or the pounding music he had no clue, but he could tell that it was far too early to be in this booth.

“You really went for it last night Barnes,” Bucky looks for the source of the voice to find that, Luke Cage, owner of the best bar in LA, was unloading boxes of tequila into his storage cabinets under the bar. “You shouldn’t have either, you’re late for your tour meeting.”

Bucky absorbed the information, and felt it melt out of his brain as if it were nothing more than an irritating ear worm. “How do you know about that?” He sighed running a hand down his face and slowly standing to grab his leather jacket.

“It’s sharpied onto your arm,” Luke chuckled pointing to Bucky’s right arm in just about the only clean space someone could fine. “Steve came in and did it last night before giving about a hundred dollars to let you sleep it off in that booth.”

“Of course he did,” Bucky scoffed, “the punk never knew when to leave well enough alone.” Bucky quickly slipped his sunglasses over his aching eyes, as he watched Luke slide a cup of coffee across the bar. “Goodbye Luke, your bar is the only thing I’m gonna miss about this town.”

“Goodbye Bucky, the free live music, and the fantastic tips are all I’m going to miss about you boys. I’ll tell Jess you said hello.” And with that final fond farewell, Bucky left Luke’s bar for the last time before he was trapped in a tour bus for six months.

The drive to Stark Records was as second nature to him as tying his shoes. He easily glided in between cars, making record time to his place of employment. He parked his bike next to a slot that occupied the sweetest little red corvette he’s seen in a good while. The tune in the reference catches his brain and he starts to whistle the chorus, wishing the artist formerly known as Prince was still around. He walked past Sharon, the desk clerk, giving her his customary wink and a smirk, stealing a sucker out of her candy dish and wandering into the meeting.

That’s when he saw her, the hottest piece of ass this side of the sunset strip. She looked powerful, she looked commanding, she was covered in tattoos and wearing the best looking little black number. She was saying his name. “Where is James?”

“Right here sweet thing, I hope I’m not too late to the party, I’d hate to miss anything that came out of that pretty little mouth.” Boy was it pretty, the full lips covered in a red shade that he could only seem to imagine smeared all over her moth as she panted his name.

“Ah, yes there he is. Hello, James. Just in time to-”

“James is my dad sugar, I’m sure we can think of something a little more clever for you to-”

“Alright then Junior if you don’t mind, I’m trying to conduct a meeting, and I will not be letting a drunken moron interupt my carefully planned work flow.”

Bucky’s jaw snapped shut as the people around him, some friends and some strangers, laughed at the clever lady’s little barb.

“Alright then, as I was saying, I’m here to help. I believe in the Peter Grant method of representation. The you-have-a-venue-you-want-it-filled-I-have-just-the-band-sixty-forty method.” She said, flipping her hair into a simple bun on the top of her head, which Bucky couldn’t find more attractive if he tried, “I have made hotel arrangements for every show, I have made bus arrangements, I have planned for added shows, and delayed dates. I have brought you the best opener I have, the best artists, roadies, security, and technicians I could scrape together, and most importantly, I have given you my time and my trust. I can make your touring life as easy and as simple as humanly possible, or I could ruin it. However, all I want is to get you out there, grinding again, reminding your fans the reason they love you. All you have to do, is let me work, and focus on the music. Can we do that?”

“Doll? I like the way you think.”

“Junior? It’s gonna be a long fucking six months.”

[silver-blooded-synthetics]

@detective-with-one-arm asked:

if the world didn’t rely on money, what would their dream occupation be? - for anybody

Anybody gonna be everybody because I feel like it.

Simon: preschool teacher /daycare worker. He would like to take care of all the cute little bebes

Markus: artist and musician, just selling his creative talents.

Leo: he's actually happy being a tattoo artist and just wishes it would pay more.

Elijah: he's happy tinkering in his workshop but also thinks it would be cool to be a youtuber.

Ralph: doing what he was programmed to do actually makes him happy and he wants to be a gardener.

Jerrys: they already do what they want to now, though, Jerick would like to just goof off and play with the kids rather than do all the planning that goes with party hosting.

Daniel: just wants to be a hermit and stay at home.

Elianna: she would love to be a makeup artist, or a popular singer, or a professional diver, or work with animals at a zoo, or etc... the list goes on. She wants to do a lot of things.

Lysias: honestly just wants to go back to fighting, but you'll never hear them admit it.

Judas: he wants to be a rock star but knows it will never happen.

Arda: she wants to be a dancer.

Alma: if he could be paid to learn, that would be his ideal job. Just to gain as much knowledge on as many subjects as possible.

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

[wehavethoughts]

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel Review!

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Publication date: 04/17/2018

ISBN-10: 1328764524

Print length: 289 pages

Website 

Rating: 5/5 Hotteok’s

Summary: How to Write an Autobiographical Novel is an essay collection by Alexander Chee. He shares life events ranging from his teen years to current life: growing up as a biracial person in Korea and in the U.S., working as an activist in the LGBTQ community in San Francisco, struggling to make ends meet as a young writer, publishing his first book and much more.

Content Warnings for How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: the author shares his childhood sexual trauma and discriminations that he faced as a gay man.

Alexander Chee is a Korean American queer writer who has written the novels Edinburgh and The Queen of the Night (both of which I haven’t read yet but are definitely on my To-Be-Read list). I had heard about him through other Korean American writers, who all described him as a generous, kind-hearted, and talented author, colleague, and mentor. Of course, I do not know him personally, but through the small aspects of his life and thoughts that he shares through social media platforms, I could understand what they might mean. For example, I was finding warm joys watching his tiny kitchen scrap gardens grow.

So I finally set aside some time to read his essay collection, How to Write an Autobiographical Novel. It was in May 2020, two months into the COVID-19 lockdown in the U.S. Looking back, little did I know that the pandemic would keep me in isolation for the entire year, but back then I was already pretty devastated and shattered from helplessly watching the life I had envisioned for 2020 disappear right in front of my eyes. I was in search of a voice that could be with me through those dark days. Not something grand that could fix the state I was in, but something that could simply just sit with me. And I cautiously thought Chee’s words might be that.

The title of the book may make you think that this is a book with tips, guidance, and tutorials on how to write one's autobiographical novel. However, it is not that. It is a collection of essays with autobiographical events with the author's thoughts and insights on his personal life, as well as his nation's political events. Though, a short essay with the same title is included in the collection, which almost reads like a poem about the experience of writing an autobiographical novel.

In this collection, he writes honestly and beautifully about his life experiences, ranging from his stay in Mexico as a young gay man (“The Curse”), Taro-reading in college while trying to navigate through the grief from his father’s death (“The Querent”), his writing class with Annie Dillard at Wesleyan (“The Writing Life”), and cater-waiting for William F. Buckley, who had written an op-ed advocating “for the tattooing of people with AIDS on their buttocks and wrists” (“Mr. and Mrs. B”).

Each essay left me so overwhelmingly emotional that I had to take a break, especially the essay “1989”. In it, he shares the story about his participation in the march in San Francisco “to block traffic to protest government inaction in the face of the AIDS epidemic” on October 6, 1989. He ends the essay describing how he was standing at an ambulance with his unconscious and injured friend. He was told to put his hand on the ambulance so the police won’t arrest him. He writes: 

“I stand there, my hand on the ambulance, and a television news crew arrives and asks me to describe what I’ve seen. As I tell the story, I keep my hand on the ambulance the entire time. After they leave, I think about how, up to now, I have thought that I lived in a different country from this. But this is the country I live in, I tell myself, feeling the metal against my fingers. This is the country I live in.” 

Through his powerful storytelling, I almost felt like I could feel the metal too, as I read that last paragraph over and over again. Going through the unbelievable pain and grief at the end of May this year in this nation, I kept thinking about this essay. Tony Morrison wrote in 2015 that difficult times are precisely “when artists go to work... We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.” ("No Place for Self-Pity, No Room for Fear,” The Nation, March 23, 2015) There is still so much grief, and so much work to be done, but I’m grateful that those like Chee will be with us through their writing as we move toward healing.

In an interview with Subway Book Review, Chee mentioned that during this pandemic, he is holding onto words from authors who have gone through difficult times and picked East Goes West as the book he was relating to. (East Goes West is written by the first Korean American novelist, Younghill Kang. You can read more about Chee’s thoughts on East Goes West here.) To me, Chee’s How to Write an Autobiographical Novel was that book. If you are looking for a book that can help you navigate your own feelings, especially after this strange, lonely, and challenging year, I would highly recommend this book.

tldr: The author Roxane Gay writes on Goodreviews that this book is “nuanced, sophisticated, intelligent, intimate, sincere essays about writing, identity, and being alive” and I cannot agree more.

p.s. I have also read good reviews about the audiobook version narrated by Daniel K. Isaac. I will definitely be checking it out, too!

p.p.s. Here is another excerpt from the book. In the essay “Girl” he talks about Halloween in 1990 when he spent the night wearing makeup, a shoulder-length blond wig, a black turtleneck and leggings. Attaching as a postscript as I cannot fathom any words to accompany it, but would just like anybody reading this to feel all the feelings as I did.

“In this moment, the confusion of my whole life has receded. No one will ask me if I am white or Asian. No one will ask me if I am a man or a woman. No one will ask me why I love men. For a moment, I want Fred to stay a man all night. There is nothing brave in this: any man and woman can walk together, in love and unharassed in this country, in this world—and for a moment, I just want to be his overly made-up girlfriend all night. I want him to be my quiet, strong man. I want to hold his hand all night and have it be only that; not political, not dangerous, just that.”

[axemetaphor]

wwwhats up its 430am I cant sleep and I dont think I've ever done an annoying headcanon ramble for jdate on here so here we fuckin goooo I'm on mobile but I'm gonna try my damnedest to do a read more and if it doesnt work and looks stupid well sue me

amy is the one routinely awake before the other two. I dont mean shes always the first one to wake up, but her back pain is more likely to have her up in the early hours of the morning. shes also the only one who has anything thay resembles q sleeping schedule of the three as john is just like, completely fucked in that department and Dave's insomnia/depression-sleeping fucks him over sometimes. basically amy Has A Brain and also lost likely schedules it so that she can be falling asleep as her pain pills take effect.

amy also is the one who's like fairly into self care stuff like fuckinuhhh face masks and shit—look, I dont inow jackshit about self care, but I mean amy strikes me as the kind of person to actually maintain her appearance in a fairly regular manner. john will just like "forget" to take care of himself and then just Be Decadent for a week and then "forget" again (either going on a bender or just actually being normal for once) and all dave knows of self care is "when I get the urge to eat an entire pie, and give into that urge, That is self care"

anyways Partially because of that I headcanon Dave gets acne like Pretty Much All The Time and hes just kinda stopped caring about it. amy gets acne Sometimes because it just like Happens. john is that one lucky motherfucker who just is somehow naturally immune. perpetually clear skin on this man. I hate him

also dave Kind Of strikes me as the kind of guy fuckign "3 in 1" shampoo is targeted towards the man just Does Not Care. other girlfriends have tried to get him into actually using different kinds of soaps and not just defaulting to "3 in 1 wherever I think soap should go" but its amy who actually succeeds in breaking this terrible habit hes had.

also I think that Despite his hair being described as frizzy and all that, John actually takes care of his hair. except for times when hes Less Than Functional. and also yknow when the world is fuckin ending but I doubt anyone really has time for a haircare routine when they gotta be fighting monsters and shit

amy again is just a normal person about hair. but shes the only one who can actually cut hair and tbqh I think she does it Pretty Well! shes no professional but shes not john either that's for sure (if you let john close to your head with scissors, well— it's your funeral, man)

this is completely projecting and also like totally Useless but I just think it would be funny if Dave has exploding head syndrome. if you donf know what that is it's a phenomenon-or-something where right when you're dropping off to sleep your brain just liek idk gets bored I guess? and comes up with some phantom Loud Noises to startle the shit out of you. it's great! and by 'great' I mean terribly annoying! but in general I think Dave is a Very restless sleeper so him suddenly flinching himself awake isnt exactly Abnormal.

amy sleeps like a normal human being Mostly, I think she Might be one of those sorts who likes to sleep curled up in the fetal position which is so very valid. she gets night terrors sometimes though because ✨trauma✨. the best way to comfort her with that is a tight hug cause I feel like her Main fear would be that shes all alone again and a hug sure does help people feel less alone I think,

john either starfishes out when he sleeps (also I headcanon he likes to sleep at least Partially on top of Dave and Dave only pretends to hate it) or grabs hold of something and clings to it tightly. hes a very light sleeper, though, and snaps awake at any loud noise or especially if he gets bumped into too strongly. this doesn't always play well with Dave's restlessness and tendency to Sleep Fight but they manage.

I feel like its fairly common to Assume john has tattoos but specifically I feel like a lot of his tattoos are things he or his friends have drawn, I wrote about it Once Or Twice but maybe not here so I'll just like say it again, I think he asks his friends to draw shit on him then goes and gets it tattooed later (or, hell, right then and there lmao) and it's like a Mark of Friendship. he claims Dave has drawn the most on him because Dave's his best friend but whether or not that's true, who knows. the first one was from Dave, though, and john did it himself stick-and-poke style the night of. that happened while they were still in high school and Dave was actually Slightly Embarrassed because what he doodled was just like really stupid looking and fuckin hell john now you're gonna have that on you forever what the hell man? but the rest of John's tattoos, if not done by friends they're either things he drew (I maintain he still draws in his downtime I love the idea of artistically talented john so much-) or weird shit he found online.

I honestly didnt think Dave would really get tattoos because he does state hes afraid of needles BUT as someone Also afraid of needles who paradoxically wants tattoos .. he could probably power through it and get like A Few. one of them is from John (stick-and-poke style, again,) and I am Not actually sure how many hed have but definitely less than John. amy only has that one tattoo that I keep forgetting when I draw her godfuckendammit-

John is the one who makes the most Food Monstrosities (Dave barely even bothers to cook) and he does this by making just the worst decisions both technical-wise (as in, hes Definitely the "just turn the oven temperature up to speedrun cooking" kind of guy) and taste-wise. dave on the other hand is likely to make terrible drinks like jack daniels + mountain dew which my buddy Ben so fantastically dubbed "jack and piss." the sheer Concept of jack daniels + mtn dew tho is thanks to that one kurtis conner video about becoming a country boy which is entirely unrelated but everyone needs to know. ANYWAY.

john and Amy like playing pranks on each other (and dave). they're in an ongoing low-key prank war and Dave is Mostly just spectating but sometiems they Conspire to commit mischief against him. it's annoying sometimes but ultimately more endearing than it is annoying so he never gets Too mad.

john and Amy absolutely have Gaming Nights(tm) that sometimes include dave as well unless they wanna play some like fps game, I'm fairly sure hes said he doesnt really like those. but they also can get Competetive which, dave tends to act as a bit of a buffer to keep them from getting Too into it ... but sometimes he gets a little competitive too. what I'm trying to say is them playing mario kart is absolute chaos and also an event i woudl buy tickets to

john has a youtube channel for sure. he is So obnoxious. he hardly has any audience because let's be honest his videos kind of suck— they're all either kinda boring vlogs or him recording the cases he and Dave go on (when he can convince Dave to let him) which are almost always declared Fake by the commenters. amy is subscribed to him. dave probably doesnt even have/use his own YouTube channel so he was not subscribed until john stole his phone and did it for him. (he never watches the videos) the videos are not edited much, I dont think any of them really knows too much about video editing shit.

dave cant fuckin do math.

John and Dave do Not know how to handle crying. like Dave's learned what helps Amy, in specific, but anybody else? clueless. Dave also just does not cry very often in general (shut up lemme project again LMAO-) and tends to just refrain from doing it even if he wants to/probably should, rarely ever actually breaking down and letting it all out; he'll stop himself from getting there/even crying much in the first place. he doesn't exactly have a Reason for it or at least not one he can recite (it's the bullying. we dont get details of how that was beyond The Locker Room Incident which I wont go into but I'm just going to project the rest of it was similar to shit I went through, It's The Bullying). John also kinda Doesn't Cry and actually hes even more restrained about it than Dave, because he won't even cry around either of them if he can avoid it and if it happens he 1) will Not address it, 2) prefers no one else acknowledge it, and 3) will Run The Fuck Away if it's acknowledged. they both try Really Really Hard to help amy when shes crying though, if shes crying for a Big Reason, cause they both also understand she just cries easily and doesnt always need or want comfort.

that,s all for now BUT if I come up with mroe. there will be a reblog. also these are not all like "I am the only one who's ever tho ig ht this" or w/e a lot of them are from me talking with other people or Absorbing much older posts on here because I read Everuthing I can find.

I sure hope I can sleep soon, this is probably mostly incoherent. gnight

[angrylizardjacket]

friends in various places

AYDTD ‘verse

Summary: Ash and Roger's son had landed the part of Tom Zutaut in the up and coming film The Dirt, where some old family friends are having their lives dissected on screen. Only problem is, the rest of his fellow cast members don't actually know who in the hell he is. Of course, when his sister arrives, it can only mean bad things.

A/N: literally no-one asked for this but i’m cleaning out my drafts. or attempting to.

----

Tommy greets Barney like an old friend, wrapping him up in a hug, talking about the last time he saw him, he was knee high to a grasshopper. Barney, who does his best to appear smaller than he is, slouching a little as he stands, making him appear to be just a bit shorter than the six-foot-two drummer, gives a slight smile.

“All the guys on ma’s side of the family are giants, apparently, I just grew into it.” He grins a little, and Tommy’s smiling, his eyes lighting up a little at the mention of Barney’s mother, and says Barney sounds so much like her. The tall ginger’s smile is wry as he raises his eyebrows skeptically. “’difference is you can understand me if I mumble.” Barney sounds the way a gently foggy Scottish moor looks; when not acting he speaks with a accented yet calming monotone drawl, which a lot of people don’t realise since he’s so quiet, so a lot of the cast and crew first heard him speak at the read-through, and thought he was American. 

The others who catch a glimpse of this interaction, Colson and Iwan and Douglas, all take a moment; they’ve known Barney because he always seemed to be around, on set, mentioned in passing; it seemed like everyone in the industry, whether they’re in the film or not, had heard of Barney Clarke, but they were never sure why, and they thought it would be confined to film.

Vince, on one of the rare occasions he makes it to set, asks about Barney’s sister. Later, Barney will explain to the other cast members that his sister is a mechanic, and that she sometimes worked in a pit crew for celebrity motor racing events. No-one thinks to question further, they accept it, they think she got the job on Barney’s recommendation; they don’t realise just who he is, just who’s around him. For now, Barney just shrugs a little, says that last he heard she was in Germany ‘for some car thing’.

He gets along with the rest of the cast well enough, he and Daniel taking quite a shine to each other as the others were a little more out there in the day-to-day; Colson because he’s always somehow full of energy, Douglas because he was in character, though Iwan was a bit of a dark horse, who enjoyed being loud as anyone else whilst not in character. 

Barney’s level and calm, and credits boxing as his outlet. For the longest time, it seemed as though nothing got under his skin, that he was just this chill, vaguely Scottish giant. If anyone was looking for a calm moment, with him they’d get it. Much to everyone’s surprise, especially Colson, he hung out a lot in the makeup tent, offering to help while the team of makeup artists covered Colson’s various tattoos. And maybe, yeah, there was a little bit of resentment building - of course, aside from being humble, well connected, and reasonably talented, he also had to be the kindest fucking Samaritan in the world - but then he sees Barney wrap his arms around Mickey, the assistant to the key makeup artist, press a kiss to their cheek before heading to his own trailer. It’s such a soft, intimate gesture. How had he not noticed the wedding band on Mickey’s finger before now? Barney’s willingness to hang around and help the makeup team, of whom his spouse is a part of, makes a lot more sense. 

And yet, it manages to just add to the confusing puzzle of ‘who actually is Barney Clarke?’.

A Running List of Facts The Main Cast of The Dirt Knows About Barney Clarke (a list compiled by Colson, with notes from Iwan, Douglas, and Daniel)

He’s Married - to Mickey Sun, makeup artist and social media personality

He’s Scottish (?) - observation based on his accent

Literally Everyone Seems To Be ‘A Friend Of The Family’ 

He’s Been Acting Since He Was 14 - based on his IMDB page

That’s it. That’s the list.

There was a fifth item, that he was the chillest dude in the world, but that’s scrubbed quickly when they come to film the party and scenes around Razzle’s death.

“What in the fuck are you doing here?” His natural accent comes in thicker, surprising the rest of them, when they get to set and see a beautiful, red car sitting on the curb outside the mansion they’re filming in, and a little blonde sitting on the hood of the car with a smile sharp as knives.

“I’ve got a car for you to crash,” and the woman sitting on the car sounds like him, accent, similar cadence even, and she hops off, stands with her hip cocked and arms crossed, looking over the rest of the cast, “actually, I had the shell of the model they needed rusting in my backyard, so I promised to paint it up right and fix it to the body of a far more expendable car, ‘s long as I got a trip to the states out of it.”

Barney looks like he’s quickly forming a headache.

The woman, tiny and pretty and wearing grease-stained jeans, introduces herself as Astrid, and when asked how she knows Barney, she raises her eyebrows with disbelief. Barney pinches the bridge of his nose.

“He’s my baby brother,” she says, grinning. 

They look almost nothing alike. With almost a foot of height difference between them, it’s jarring to think that Astrid’s the older one, but seeing them interact over the two weeks they’re together on set, it begins to make it’s own kind of sense. Astrid is the complete opposite to Barney in almost every way, apart from the fact that, like her brother, she was seemingly unflappable. She’s a smooth-talking, outrageous flirt who oozes casual confidence, and it seems the only thing she liked more than whiskey, neat, was driving fast.

“Hey, a friend of mine owes me a favour down at EXR,” Astrid’s grown very fond of Colson, and when the first week’s up, and they have a day off, she can’t help but want to share her favourite LA experience with him, “wanna go drive supercars?”

“Fucking absolutely.”

They drive a few hours into the desert until they get to the track, and the owner of the course, of EXR, Exotic Racing, greets Astrid with a kiss on both cheeks, and calls her Trid.

“Oh dude, oh fuck, you’re- fuckin’ MGK, shit Trid, you could have warned me,” the owner flusters for a moment, and Astrid gives a half-smile.

“Come on, Luca, it’s not a big deal,” Astrid tries to calm him down, and Luca sighs, before handing her a set of keys. Astrid and Colson head for the pits where a lineup of shiny cars are waiting, and Colson’s still reeling a little. The whole track is clear, closed so they’re the only ones around. 

“What did you have to do to get this whole place to yourself?” He asks, and Astrid tosses him the keys, climbing into the passenger seat of a sleek, black Ferrari.

“I work pit for free a few times a year.” Is all she tells him.

Colson isn’t a slow driver, not by a long shot, and Astrid seems content with him by the wheel, speeding down the straight with his foot on the floor, cutting corners close, and Astrid plugs in her phone to the aux cord and plays rock and roll so loud he can hear it hammer in his heart.

When they’ve done a few laps, Colson offers her a turn behind the wheel, and there’s a fire in her eyes that’s both terrifying and awe inspiring. They start of slow enough, two thirds of the speed he’d been going, but after a lap, she speeds up, her grip going white-knuckled on the wheel as she takes hairpin turns going 60mph, drifting around corners with such ease and efficiency without losing momentum, almost getting air off of the hill that leads into the final straight of the track. She drives like she doesn’t fear death.

This is the day Colson learns that Barney’s oldest sister is a professional stunt driver, as well as being a mechanic and general nuisance. 

And she’s fucking awesome.

“She’s magic,” Luca tells Colson as they watch Astrid do a few laps on her own. She’s even faster now, without a passenger to worry about, making it look easy as she goes around fast enough to stir a breeze each time she goes past.

“She drives like a maniac,” Colson laughs, and Luca hums with agreement, chuckling. When she stops beside them, the tires squeal against the tarmac, and her smile is breathless when she steps from the car, offering the keys enticingly, asking Colson if he wants another go around. He accepts, hopping into the drivers seat as Astrid heads to the bathroom.

When they get back on set the following day, Barney looks like he’s bitten a lemon the moment he sees Colson step out of Astrid’s fancy, iridescent teal car. 

“You’re doing it again,” Barney warned her, and Astrid gives him a blithe smile.

“No idea what you’re on about -”

“Leave Daniel out of it,” he’s quietly almost begging her now, and Astrid’s smile turns sharp, “Astrid you are the devil,” he tells her, feelingly, as he watches her wave to Daniel, who was mooning over the car with the rest of the cast. They both see him mouth ‘she’s cool as hell’ and Barney knows he’s already lost.

Colson catches on first, the way Astrid seems to get under her brother’s skin without even trying, around the time she’s grabbing lunch with Daniel and Iwan a few afternoons later. 

“Astrid,” Barney starts after a long moment taken to order his thoughts, “has chosen to model her life after Horace fucking Slughorn,” he seethes, and Colson’s confused for a moment before it clicks.

“From Harry Potter? The dude from the sixth one, right?”

“Right,” Barney sighs, and Colson quietly marvels at the fact that it’s the most he’s ever heard the ginger speak, “she collects the people I work with that she likes; it’s easy because she’s...” and he sighs like he’s terribly put upon, “actually really cool. Much cooler than I am, unfortunately.”

“She steals your friends?” Colson’s not quite sure if he should laugh, it all sounds a little childish, but Barney seems deeply troubled by it.

“No...” Barney muses after a moment of deliberation, “not exactly,” he amends, “she is the most supportive person I know, and I really do love her dearly, that’s not the issue, it’s that... well, she’s better at keeping in contact with people, despite only being on the peripheries of the industry.”

“Does it really bother you?”

“Yes!” Barney, surprisingly, explodes at the question, eyes going wide, throwing his hands into the air; it’s the most agitated and animated Colson’s ever seen him, “she’s so insufferably smug.” 

“You know you’re like... fuckin’ cool as shit, dude, right?” Colson admits with a half laugh, and Barney’s expression softens to something grateful, “I watched you in theaters dude, fucking big screen, man, X-Men’s not something to sneeze at.” He assured him, clapping a hand on Barney’s shoulder, who perked up considerably. 

It’s more of an insight into Barney’s character than anyone else had gotten during the entirety of filming, though Colson thought it would be best to keep this particular set of revelations to himself; Barney’s familial insecurities weren’t anyone else’s business. Much to his surprise, however, the following day, while covering his tattoos, Mickey brings it up.

“Barn really appreciates what you said to him,” they tell him, dabbing foundation on his chest, and Colson blinks a few times before he remembers.

“Oh, no big deal; you guys are married, right? Mickey Sun?”

“Michelangelo Sun-Taylor,” Mickey says, pausing and giving a sharp smile, to which Colson nods, and tries not to look as winded by the name as he feels. Sun-Taylor. Huh. How does that fit into the equation that is Barney Clarke? But he’s not given enough time to ponder that before Mickey’s working again. 

“I hear you’re being headhunted by Astrid,” they add, and Colson can’t help his slight smile and nod. Mickey makes a noise of understanding, “of course you are; she’s a fan of pretty blonde boys.” 

“She’d be the most envied woman in Hollywood if anyone knew her name,” they added, and Colson frowns a little at that, a little confused.

“Is it a status thing?” Is she using me? Is what he wants to ask, which Mickey seems to get easily, shaking their head.

“She genuinely cares for her friends; she’s a shit-stirrer, but she’s seen every movie Barney’s been in more than ten times, and she’s always willing to lend a hand - if you need a mechanic, call her, seriously; the thing is that she attracts pretty blonde boys who like cars and hot girls, and by the time they realise, she’s already solidified herself as a good friend.”

“Realise?”

“Well, it’s not my place, but she’ll tell you when she’s ready.” Mickey tells him earnestly, “lift your arm, please?”

Colson finds himself spending more time with Barney, dwelling. Barney won’t tell him either, insists it’s only Astrid’s place, which Colson respects, but he won’t bug her about it; he’s happy enough speculating.

“She has a kid?”

“Nope, that’s my other sister -”

“Other?” A tantalizing piece of new information about this man who’s slowly becoming less of an enigma.

“Cait, you’d love her, she can get wild -”

“More wild than Trid?”

“Not anymore,” Barney pauses, giving a half smile, looking over at where Colson is watching Astrid and Tommy argue animatedly about something, “Trid?” Colson shrugs, “she’ll tell you soon.”

“Can we meet your other sister?”

“If you want to,” Barney shrugs, offhandedly, “I think she’s in New York now with her partner, but I’m sure she’d be happy to fly in.”

“Is Trid married?” Colson asks, squinting, and Barney laughs in his face.

She tells him by the end of the day, mostly because his curiosity got the better of him.

“I’m gay; it’s not a secret,” she seems confused, and Colson frowns, though it does make a lot of sense, “I dated Cara Delevingne, does no-one remember that?”

“Fuck, man, I knew I knew you from somewhere,” Colson nods sagely, and Astrid snorts a laugh.

“It’s noble of Barn and Micks to not out me, but like, I’m kissing girls on tabloid covers, it’s not news,” she paused, shrugging, “I dunno, guys seem to be distracted by the, ah,” she gestures awkwardly to herself, and then to her car, “to see the kind of obvious signs.”

“You hitting on Leven wasn’t a bit?” Colson said with a half smile, and Astrid grinning.

“If you caught that, I’m not sure how it took you so long.”

“Cards on the table,” Colson raised his hands in mock surrender, “I was kind of distracted by the -” and he gestured to both her and the car, mirroring her from just moments ago, getting her to laugh. The tension broke, and they went to get dinner. Knowing what he knows now, it’s easy to be friends with Astrid; she ends up being a good wingman, apart from that time she accidentally went home with the girl Colson had been chatting up, and she’s got expensive taste in booze, which he appreciates. 

And he realises too late that he has no idea what to expect of their other sibling.

Cait is both the middle child, and seems like a strange middle-ground between her two siblings, at 5′7 and with the air of someone much wiser than her years. The moment she spots Astrid and Barney on set with the rest of the cast, eating lunch, she calls out.

“Ay-oh!” It’s a strangely familiar, and without missing a beat, both Barney and Astrid call back in the exact same manner, beaming, much to the bemusement of the rest of the cast. After a round of hugs, greetings, and introductions, and the strange realization that the siblings, despite not looking too much alike, all sound eerily similar, Cait sits herself with them all.

“Ben sends you and Joe his love,” Astrid adds, and Cait grins, thanking her for the message. Barney glowers into his pizza, “cheer up Barn, he sends you his love as well,” she pauses, grin all teeth, “Lucas does too.”

“He was my damn co-star, Astrid,” Barney huffs, “we still talk.”

“I know, I’m just teasing,” she offers, and Barney rolls his eyes.

“The collection of hot blonde dudes?” Colson asks bluntly, to which Douglas snorted water out through his nose, and Astrid turned scarlet.

“I do not-”

“Trid,” Cait said, giving her an exasperated look.

“I know you from somewhere,” Douglas mused, finally getting a good look at Cait, who just smiled blithely back.

“Ben Hardy and Lucas Till,” Barney fills in for the rest, who just seem to grow more confused, “so yes, part of Astrid’s harem of pretty boys.”

“They’re my friends, it’s not a damn harem - you’re an asshole, Barn,” Astrid glowered.

“I learned from the best,” Barney countered with smugly, and Astrid rolled her eyes. 

“Is that little Caity?” Came a call, and Cait stood abruptly to greet Tommy Lee with a bear hug. “You’re gotten so big, fuck, kiddo, I can’t believe you’re running Queen’s socials; you’ve been killing it from what I’ve seen.”

“Okay, seriously, who in the fuck are you people?” Daniel finally snapped, and Tommy blinked at him a few times, stepping back from Cait, casting a confused look between the three siblings.

“Did you not tell them?” Cait asked, eyes wide, and Barney scowled, though Astrid answered.

“Of course he didn’t,” she rolled her eyes, before turning on Douglas and Iwan, “you two ‘ve probably worked with our mum before; Rocket Taylor.”

Like a switch had been flipped, both Iwan and Douglas’s expression lit up, and behind them, Tommy turned a little pink around the ears. A chorus of ‘no way, holy shit’ rang out, and Cait nodded, while Barney hung his head. After a beat, however, Tommy stepped forward.

“You kids always downplay your dad like he’s not the drummer for Queen,” he adds, and the whole table explodes with shouting at that, highlights of which include Astrid’s ‘he’s a dork, Thomas!’ Cait’s ‘I was getting to that in a moment!’ and Barney’s ‘I’m excommunicating myself’ amid the cast’s sudden delight.

[theonlinemuse]

So @lesbianmaxevans and I have been discussing how there’s very little backstory for Dani Powell on the show and we decided to contribute to the tags by coming up with our own headcanons for her:

Dani is a nickname obviously, but instead of Danielle or Danika, it’s short for Danys, a unisex Haitian Creole name. She only gets called Danys if she’s in trouble  

Malcolm giggles whenever that happens and Dani threatens to put her cold hands on him if he tries calling her that 

Malcolm learned her middle name the same day he met her middle sister, New York County Court Judge Naomie Powell, who barged into the precinct after an incident where Dani got hurt and went, “Danys Eliana Powell, if you’re going to give our family a heart attack, at least pick up your phone!”

Her dad is Haitian (I still say that episode 5 should’ve delved into this with Dani and her backstory) and her mom is Jewish. Dani and her sisters were all raised Jewish 

Dani doesn’t regularly go the synagogue, but it’s tradition for the Powells to go to services during major holidays 

Dani and JT explaining Jewish holidays to everyone

Powell wasn’t her dad’s original last name. Her dad and grandma came to New York from Port au Prince in the late 70s and their original last name was Poirot. Grandma Eliana kept the name, but her dad changed it to Powell when he started university 

She’s the youngest of three girls in the family. Her oldest sister Mona is played by Meta Golding while middle sister Naomie is played by Sydney Tamiia Poitier

Naomie was the sister who suffered from night terrors after getting into a bad car accident as a teenager and Mona and Dani would often take turns looking after her. This is how Dani knew how to deal with Malcolm 

Dani is bisexual. She and Edrisa went on a date before deciding to be friends and Edrisa likes to joke about them being exes much to Malcolm’s confusion 

“When did you even break up?” “We didn’t, technically. We just went go karting and had lunch at Zabar’s before we realized Dani was wayyyy too much like an aloof little sister to me.”

And this is totally a crack headcanon, but after seeing Jurnee Smollett-Bell playing Black Canary in Birds of Prey, Dani and Dinah Lance are now cousins. Their moms, Zipporah and Dinah Senior were sisters

Dani and Dinah may be Jewish, but they don’t keep kosher all the time. They don’t eat pork, but they’re absolutely weak against shellfish, much to their moms’ dismay 

Chaotic bi Dinah and distinguished bi Dani

Imagine Dani going undercover in Dinah’s band and them singing the Birds of Prey song from Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Dani can rock the punk rock aesthetic. Dinah makes her wear fishnet stockings, red lipstick, a corset over a dark lace shirt, and gold metallic temp tattoos. Malcolm has a heart attack

And then Dani starts singing and he’s a goner because he’s only ever hear her sing old songs from the 30s to 50s and there’s something powerful and sensual about her singing punk rock music. He’s not ready for it

JT teases the hell out of him, but he soon shuts up when Dani and Dinah bring Tally into the mix. Edrisa records the whole thing, as well as Malcolm and JT’s expressions. Gil ends up using it to keep Malcolm and JT from doing anything too outrageous

Grandma Eliana would sing old jazz and méringue songs to Dani and her sisters when they were little so Dani ended up with the habit of singing them absently whenever she’s focused on a task, usually when she’s doing her hair

Dani grew up listening to songs from the 30s, 40s, and 50s due to grandma Eliana always playing her extensive vinyl collection. She didn’t really get to listen to modern music until she was in middle school 

In addition to jazz and swing, Dani’s surprisingly good at disco. It didn’t help that her dad often played Boney M and Earth Wind and Fire during her childhood

She used to joke that the Powell family is decades behind in their taste in music. Dani doesn’t listen to many modern songs, but she likes singing along to Yonce as well as Janelle Monae songs like Electric Lady and Sally Ride

Make Me Feel becomes Dani and Dinah’s bi anthem 

Malcolm once caught her singing and he keeps trying to catch her again. He’s lucky to listen for five seconds before she kicks him out of the bathroom

Dani’s a bit of a tea expert thanks to grandma Eliana, who taught her many different ways of making tea. Other than Earl Grey, Dani’s favourites include grandma Eliana’s ginger tea and pomegranate tea

And I’m not just saying that last one because I saw tags about a Brightwell Hades and Persephone AU

She loves tea flavoured desserts as well. She often gets a glazed Earl Grey donut for breakfast on Monday mornings when she needs a little pick me up

She changes up the glaze depending on her mood. Lavender for when she’s stressed, balsamic and pomegranate for when she’s in a good mood, blueberry for when she’s irritated or stuck on a case, brown butter for when she’s tired, and caramel with blood orange zest for when she’s ready punch a dick

In the summer, she loves Thai iced tea popsicles and matcha green tea popsicles dipped in chocolate

Dani isn’t as big of a coffee drinker as she is a tea drinker, but if she has to have coffee, it’s always a cinnamon mocha with a shot of espresso 

She can cook, but because of her schedule, she mostly sticks with quick to make dishes like grilled cheese and spaghetti. She likes spicing things up though, thanks to growing up with her dad and grandma’s cooking 

Every Hanukkah, Dani always gets roped into preparing the desserts with Zipporah since her dad, grandma, and oldest sister are in charge of cooking. Dani’s the first to admit that she’s not a cook, but she’s gotten good at making sweets, even if she doesn’t always have the patience for it. Eight nights a year is her limit

Malcolm as a foodie bemoans this and his trying to broaden her food choices slowly becomes a thing 

The look of horror on his face when he sees her chow down on a double beef bacon mushroom burger, poutine, chocolate pecan pie and a strawberry milkshake in one sitting is priceless

And Dani loves seafood, especially shellfish which Malcolm can’t have because it gives him hives 

Dani was a bit of a trouble maker in elementary school, but for good reason. She stuck gum in a classmate’s hair because she stole her favourite scratch and sniff stickers and lied about it. And she once kicked a football player where the sun don’t shine because he was being a dick to her

She dressed like Kimberly Hart from the Power Rangers movie in high school, though she did have a goth phase for about two weeks in freshman year. She was trying to channel Wednesday Addams. She was definitely a bit of a rebel style wise. Malcolm was most definitely a nerd

Ironically, Dani’s the one with poor eyesight. She only wears glasses if there’s no more contacts and they’re a chunky pair that’s similar to Edrisa’s glasses

Dani does have some secret nerdy traits, she knows how to code thanks to her sister Naomie going to coding camp for five consecutive summers 

And like Kay, Dani has some artistic tendencies too. She grew up with outdoor art programs that encouraged her to paint 

She’s fluent in French. She, her sisters, and their paternal cousins went to a bilingual language school thanks to grandma Eliana’s influence

Dani also did competitive figure skating as a kid. She actually made it to the Junior Grand Prix finals. She got silver

There’s recordings of her competition routines on YouTube somewhere and she actually goes undercover as a figure skater for a case. Gil acts as her coach because he actually used to skate as well

She also did some cross training in ballet as well since her godmother is a well known ballerina turned dance teacher. There are a lot of pics of Dani in her early teens of her in a leotard and tights with curls escaping her ballet bun

She has an old injury that often acts up when the weather is cold. She broke her leg pretty badly in high school due to an accident in gym class. She got knocked off the balance beam when they were doing gymnastics and had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery 

She prefers horror and thrillers to action movies, but she likes period pieces too. Belle is a recent favourite of hers

Dani likes Star Trek because her dad is the biggest sci-fi nerd and it was a big part of her childhood. She also grew up as a fan of Eartha Kitt because of him after he made her watch 1960s Batman reruns with him

As a result, she wanted to name her first kid after Eartha. She eventually nicknames her first daughter Kit because of this

Dani actually introduced Tally to JT. They were roommates in college (Dani majored in social work while Tally studied chemistry) and they went to the same synagogue 

Tally designated Dani as godmother after she and JT had twin girls. She was the sandeket at Noa and Miri’s simchat bat  

She practices Krav Maga, she and Dinah both learned it in high school, though Dani always says that Dinah had more of a natural talent for it 

Dinah also did kickboxing and gymnastics and Dani ended up tagging along her lessons. She doubled as a coach and sparring partner 

She and her sisters dressed up as magical girls for Halloween when they were little and the new Charm reboot is like reliving their childhood

She wraps her hair for sleep with funny and colourful scarves that Naomie always gives as gag gifts, a tradition that started when they were preteens 

She’s dyslexic, but she wasn’t diagnosed until middle school. She had difficulty memorizing things so she got into a habit of carrying a recorder with her. She also has her phone and computer set to dyslexia friendly fonts and listens to a lot of audio books

It’s also the reason she sometimes makes mistakes when she’s dancing. She sometimes mixes up left and right

She also had trouble learning French at first because of this 

Dani can hold her liquor, but after four drinks, she becomes a giggly drunk who randomly speaks French and sings 90s rock songs

She also suddenly gains a sweet tooth when sober Dani doesn’t usually go for sweets. Luckily Malcolm has a few lollipops stashed away for when this happens

Dani did a brief modelling stint back in college to help out her cousin, who was in fashion school at the time. She mostly modelled for women’s wear and book covers. She even posed for a couple of historical romance covers 

Malcolm may have accidentally come across it thanks to his mom. Jessica might have been a little smug when she told him to fetch the book from where she left it. The look on his face was priceless

Dani ends up recreating a cover for a case. Edrisa makes Malcolm pose with her. She takes so many pictures

Given that Malcolm has Sunshine, it’s ironic that Dani owns a cat. It’s a mischievous black cat named Shuri and she loves climbing things, especially Malcolm

[thebluejaysworld]

My thoughts and goodbye to Unus Annus. This is gonna be a LONG post and probably really rambly and personal. I’m sorry.

TWs: death, hospitals, mention of suicide/suicidal ideation

let me know if you need something else tagged.

First part is my thoughts on the premise, Second half is about my thoughts on the actual videos/channel/community.

As Unus Annus comes to a close I first want to say thank you. To Mark and Ethan for this. The channel and it’s premise are something very important to me.

From a very young age, I have understood and seen death and loss. One of my first memories is of my great grandmother’s funeral. I think I was almost two, as my mother had just found out that my brother would be my brother. But I also have seen and know the importance of holding onto memories as tightly as you can. Because I can also remember seeing my mother in the hospital and meeting Daniel for the first time in his little yellow blanket. Those are things you hold onto. Good and bad.

I remember the next major death that hit was my great uncle. Back in 2011. I saw him the night he died, as we had gone over to visit. And as leaving, I went back and gave him a hug, saying goodbye. As I always had. The next day I remember staying home sick and my mother getting the phone call.

I remember at the very beginning of my freshman year of highschool. A student killed himself. I did not no him, but the air was so thick with grief that even I couldn’t help crying. That’s who I am.

I remember only a few months later, the last time I saw my french teacher. An amazing woman with a heart of gold. I bought her a dollar store scarf for Christmas. I did not know that when I gave it to her and she hugged me, it would be the last time I ever saw her. I was sent home the day I was informed of her death.

I remember a fellow ego artist on Tumblr. Someone I had talked to and enjoyed their content. I remember scrolling through a different friend’s page while at lunch, and finding out they had passed away in a car crash.

I remember my uncle. Who was so intimating with his big frizzy hair and cowboy hat. Covered in tattoos. Who’s eyes always spelled mischief. I remembered finding out he had had a heart attack in the middle of the night and passed away.

And I remember almost exactly a year ago this November... When my Pop (grandfather) died. When he had been in the hospital for a few weeks. And my dad and his siblings, along with my grandma all took turns with him. He was never alone. And they were all with him as he went.

I remember, just a few weeks ago (the week before Halloween) when a good friend of my mother and myself passed away. A stunningly amazing woman who accepted everyone. Who’s singing could astound. Who had been battling cancer these past few months, but made it a point to still text my mother a good morning message as often as she could.

And these are just those I know about. Like everyone, there are those who come and go. Close friends, and even family who move away... Or simply fall out of touch. People whom I haven’t heard from in years. Where I have no idea if they’re even still alive.

But I hold onto those memories of them. Hold onto pictures and letters and texts. Because that’s how I keep them alive.

With Unus Annus, the premise of death and the unknown. Not knowing when... Is something I struggle with because of my anxiety. With people I love, people I see, People I know. It’s always in the back of my mind knowing... They won’t be there forever. That anything can happen at any moment. That people can die. And it terrifies me.

With myself, when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts... It was something that both pushed me towards and pulled me from. Yes, theoretically... I would be stopping my clock.... Taking that control. Why miss out on all the time left, since you never know how much time there is left. As painful and loud as the ticking may be. As life may be. I hold onto the thought of “what if”. And I started to just live life for me. Living life to enjoy and do what I want. Which is why Unus Annus means so much to me, aside from the videos and the memories I was able to create because of them. (Which I will get to in a moment). I have been living my “one year”. For the past two years. As shitty as 2020 has been... I know that I just gotta march on. Because I refuse to let my clock stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unus Annus has done so much for me this year. The least of which has been the daily uploads. Even though it seems so small, it means so much. I may say I hate/ can’t follow routines and structure... In as crazy a year as 2020... It was an incredible relief that if all else falls through, that was one thing that wouldn’t change.

It also helped me create so many memories. Mostly by watching them with my mom, who also enjoys their stuff. Where we could just sit and watch, laughing ‘til neither of us could breathe. Often making us both laugh when we thought we couldn’t anymore.... I remember with the camp stuff I went and talked with a friend I hadn’t in quite some time, and we both drew ourselves together as our “campsonas”.

Which brings me to the next point...

I have met so many amazing and talented people who have given me such incredible opportunities because of Unus Annus. For the first time ever, I was accepted in to do the collab project. Which was so huge for me. Not only as a member of the community, but as an artist as well. And even from there, I applied to join another thing as a “what the heck, why not? They probably won’t pick me, but I might as well...” And I was fully taken aback when I was in fact chosen to join the group.

So basically... This has been one heck of a year. And as crazy as it’s been, I am so thankful for the memories created. Ones that I will cherish forever.

Momento Mori, Unus Annus

[willowistic22]

I first watched the last skam france clip and i had to stop halfway and I finally got to finish watching the rest today. Yeah, it was still a heartfelt ending (if that’s the last one) but the plot ending could’ve been a little better (said it before i’ll say it again)

Sofiane FINALLY SHOWED UP. Season 6 did him so dirty by having Charles show up way more times than him. CHARLES. I don’t trust anyone who favors Charles the most other than the other Willems. Like,,,, you sleeping on Edoardo, Senne, and Noah. Hell, even Daniel is far up there than Charles. Manon, Daphne I love you but,,, Charles??? Really??? Yall actually like that dude?? Im glad Basile ends up with Daphne man.

Also Arthur and Alexia kissed in the end?? You two are kinda indecisive but I love yall either way. Whether you ship them platonically or romantically, you gotta admit it’s an awesome ship. And yes, season 5 really did them dirty but what can ya do 😔😔

I always headcanon Emma to own a restaurant when she graduates (bcs of her spaghetti cooking in season 1) but knowing that she can design a tattoo for Lola changed my mind. And also pisses me off bcs it turns out she has talent but the writers just forgets abt it and just reveals it after six seasons to the point that the talent looks a little forced. I’m up for tattoo artist Emma headcanons but really,,,, yall could’ve like sprinkled it at any point of the show bcs it has sIX SEASONS??? is that really sO HARD TO ASK FOR?!! Emma’s not my favorite Eva but she’s got a special place in my heart:) (again the writers did her dirty)

Thank God Elu didn’t broke up bcs I would start a tantrum and now we can have a mayla and elu double dates bcs i love them :))))))

Overall the season 6 ending was a 6/10. It’s still a good season but,,, it could’ve been *a little* bit better. Now imma start to contemplate what I’m gonna do with the tattoo artist Emma headcanons in my head. I’ll most likely write it down bcs ik it’ll eat me up if I don’t let it out of my brain lmaooo

(Also pls don’t attack my opinion bcs skamfr is still my favorite remake:))