#also crazy how fast about 40% of people change their tune when you literally just say you’re transfem | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thequietoftheroom · 6 years ago

Text

Hi. Is this thing on? Lauren Graham said in her new book that we should write more so this is my attempt at that. Oh by the way, I started reading again. I write these for myself so why don’t I just use “we”, but that will probably be weird reading it back. I’ve read Feminasty: The Complicated Woman’s Guide To Surviving The Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself To Death, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice On Love And Life From Dear Sugar, and now I’m almost done with Talking As Fast As I Can: From Gilmore Girls To Gilmore Girls. I’ve gone through several lists to pick out the books I plan on reading in the next few months, at least if I can afford them, but I like to think the books I ultimately bought found me and not the other way around. I have been read cover to cover, my soul pierced, and my mind opened. Of course fiction books have a similar effect but I never thought I would be interested in what people had to say about this grand thing called life and I learned that I cared a whole lot, not because I wanted to model myself after them but because I care about people and reading their explanations on life is like suddenly remembering they’re my best friends and they’re just catching me up on little secrets that come packed with nuggets of wisdom.

I got myself into several situations I never planned on getting myself into even though the red flags were there and even though the people very openly said “Hey, this is exactly who I am”, but you know how your mind works when you have anxiety and depression. You start to convince yourself the puzzle pieces you find yourself assembling are actually part of the picture even though they don’t fit because deep down you’re trying to finish the puzzle of your life and no one is giving you quite the right pieces. In other words, and to quote my friend Allie, I drank a nice glass of “dumb bitch” juice. Which lead me to want to consider joining a dating site sooner than I planned. I know these things take time but it’s been 3 days and I’ve sent 40 likes (I think that’s how okcupid works idk) and practically got 0 back. Here’s why that sucks. On okcupid they focus strongly on your personality and beliefs. So someone not only saw my face and said “yeesh no thanks” they took the time to get to know the information about myself I put on there and were still like “yikes I don’t think so”. So all in all this was an experiment in derailing my self esteem and increasing my depression. What crazy color will I dye my hair to suddenly avoid dealing with my problems? Or maybe I’ll give myself another buzzcut. Stay tuned!

On a serious note, a lot of the stories I’m reading made me SO relieved that at 27 I’m still very much single and have only had 1 relationship which wasn’t that great (it was both of our faults). There were so many stories and anecdotes about young love being messy and about true commitment coming in your 40′s. Honestly, idk if I can wait that long. If NASA and the CIA and the FBI were like “you have been randomly selected to test mating with androids” I’d be like “yes please but can I choose their face”. I mean realistically I’m in the worst position to be in a relationship. For one, I don’t have much money saved because I’m sadly addicted to ordering things online, most of which are either useful to me or to my job (and no I don’t get reimbursed but I think the prospect of waiting for something in the mail to kill time is momentarily greater than the prospect of having more money later). I still live at home. Obviously, that’s a hella yikes and tbf I’m reading to get the fuck out of here but {see A: i have no money} and I have no one to move in with. I keep doing extensive research but I learned that in 2018 everywhere is problematic. So as much as my love for NYC is slowly fading I also realize this is it for me! I’m a city gal who needs to be surrounded by diversity. I can’t do suburbs and I can’t do living near more than 50% white people. I’ll die. I know that’s discriminatory but we are in the dawn of BBQ Beckys so can you blame me when the majority of white people keep voting against my existence. So I’m stuck. Every once in a while I look up “most LGBT friendly places to live” or “least racist places to live” and hope there’s a magical place with both but there isn’t (especially since, hello, twinks are hella racist). But I’ve literally cuddled my body pillow to death: it broke apart and I need a new one. And I learned I can’t fall asleep unless I’m cuddling it because I’m that lonely.

Everything in life is so complicated. I hate not being out at work but at the same time everyone there is ignorant so I wouldn’t be any more comfortable having them walking on eggshells around me. I love the individuals though and sometimes I feel very motherly or big brotherly towards them and they make me REALLY love work. But I want to be me. And I want to get rid of my legal name. Every time someone calls me John I die inside. Sometimes I don’t even respond because I have to be like “oh shit that’s me”. Can I change my name now? Probably, just have to have the money and redo all my paperwork at work? Will i? No because then either a) the individuals will have to learn my new name and their lives are confusing as fuck as it is or b) i keep my current legal name as a nickname but then it will get confusing for paperwork. I don’t like inconveniencing people that much even for something super important to me. I’ll just die inside until I save enough money, do my last few undergrad psyche classes, and then get into grad school. So like in 5 years, knowing me.

I’ve developed some little crushes here and there but most of the time it’s people that live out of reach or are straight or bottoms or any combination of them or I can just tell they will never like me in that way. So honestly, why bother. I miss the days when I didn’t care about this and the only thing plaguing my mind was what show I should marathon while building in minecraft.

Speaking of games, I play a lot with my friend Sal. He’s like my best friend which is weird because he was my boss once on a minecraft server but now I can’t ever think of him that way? He’s more like an older brother now, even though he’s younger than me. We talk a lot and also enjoy a lot of silence, and introduce each other to different games and shows. But mostly games. We’re both obsessed with 7 Days To Die and I check constantly for news about the update (no set dates for Alpha 17 AHHHH). To fill that void we started playing Fortnite, which I know a lot of people make fun of but it’s actually fun. Here’s a fun fact about me: I can’t take serious games serious so if there’s no building element, or fun element, or explosives I can blow things up with, I won’t do it. I have 0 competitive bones in this body. I like to have fun. That’s why Fortnite is perfect because it is a competitive FPS type game but it’s also a parody of that genre and it’s so whimsical. Save The Day is a lot like 7 Days To Die so that’s been fun. Listen, when you play a game with someone and you beat it, especially a survival game, it’s such a relief and you learn so much and it’s like you went on a literal adventure with that person. Did Sal and I actually get stranded on an island full of mutants and cannibals? No but that’s what it actually felt like after finishing The Forest because it was that real for us. My love for Pocket Camp is fading because it’s the same stuff, new textures. I mean the prospect of having a cute camp is fun sometimes (fun enough for me to spend way too much money on it. HELP!) but now it’s like “oh they just stand there and I don’t really do anything”. ALTHOUGH they are saying that now they are adding a LOT more gameplay to the point that you need at least 1gb of space of the game so I’m excited. I’m still obsessed with minecraft so there’s nothing new there.

Here’s something weird. I spent much of my time, when I identified as gay, being annoyed at gay stereotypes and mostly twinks being like “if you don’t do x,y,z you might as well be straight”, so much so that now that I came out as queer those things still bother me and I have to be like “it’s okay that’s not you anymore you literally figured this out which is why you’re this person”. That’s how I should introduce myself tbh “Hi I’m the Q in LGBTQ”. I don’t care about fitting in but because of my lack of in person friends sometimes I worry that maybe I should care, just a little. I’m so tempted to try Tinder just for that but then I think of all the people who have Tinder that live in this building and I’m like God that is a huge mistake. I need a huge life change. I need someone to come in and shake up my life but no one has volunteered. I’m kind of regretting thinking of all those stupid romantic things like “Oh I want my future boyfriend to teach my how to ride a bike :)” “I want my future boyfriend to take me traveling” “I want my future boyfriend to serenade me”. I’ll just become a full on Capricorn and teach myself everything, travel the world alone, and serenade my goddamn self.

Speaking of which again, can my depression like.. not? I was so into learning and practicing chords daily and I just stopped? Like my motivation was like “It’s been a nice 1 week. back to not caring about anything again” I mean I started to try to learn Burn and Satisfied from Hamilton (well, “learn”) so I at least have interest and I still listen to classical music and jazz to light that fire under my ass but still. I’m just going to do what I always do and restart from lesson 1 and hope I make it to 3 although my extensive research of chords has already put me at an advantage for lesson 3, which is chords. Of course I would go and try to learn something in an unstructured manner because I have a problem with routine and authority even when that authority is me.

I should write me. Which reminds me I was going to write about this one dream I had on my regular blog. See ya!

#personal #2018

2 notes · View notes

nycrunning · 6 years ago

Text

June

was awesome and QUICK…?

It started with the Italy Run, a 5 miler in Central Park that was fun. I run it with a few friends and we had a blast. The next weekend, I raced the Mini10K, hot as always but also a blast, so how could I miss it? The next weekend I raced the Queens 10K, also always hot but totally manageable this year. Then the next weekend I raced the Front Runners NY Pride Run. Yes, a race every weekend. A little insane on the racing side but that is how I like my summers… There were also some amazing runs sprinkled in. Like, for example, that midweek run where we went up Riverside to see the goats munching on poison ivy…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

DATA DOWNLOAD

Small Recap

Total Miles: 157. Racing that much kills the mileage.

Downs: NOT ONE!

Ups: Racing! Love seeing all my friends at the races!!!!

Balance: July, here we come!!!!

May

was a quick one… It bothers me a bit that mileage goes down as soon as the weather gets nicer BUT that is only because I race much more and hey quality over quantity (plus mini tapers…!). You just can’t do it all -or do it all well, correct? So, I’ve been replacing my tempos by races this past month, I only got in a tempo or two, I just can’t do that many hard miles a week. But I always get my intervals in!

Early May I run the Sharon 5 Miler, which was super horribly hill fun!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I REALLY need to get out of NYC more… I always say that and I then I get so lazy. Anyway, that was a super fun weekend out of town with friends. Then we had the Brooklyn Half, which was also awesome!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

DATA DOWNLOAD

Overall Small Recap

Total Miles: 134, I am getting behind on my 1800 goal!

Downs: just the mileage.

Ups: all the races and the runs and the friends. Life and running is GOOD.

Balance: I am in a good, GREAT, place. see below…

I have come to terms with WHERE I AM. For 3 years I haven’t PRed and I was pouting about it. I had a few PRs this year, yes, but it’s because it’s at distances I hadn’t bothered with before, it’s like they almost don’t count. A few months ago, I’d get a 1:40 half and I’d point it was about 4 minutes off my 1:36 PR. Now I KNOW that 1:40 is where I am. I am training hard, I am doing all that I should be doing, and HEY, I am older, THIS IS MY BEST. And it’s fine. I am happy with it. Not sure how to explain what changed in my perspective. I am not sure I can say that I will never get closer to 1:36 again -because the truth is not only I am not sure I can get there at all but if I could it is a very remote possibility I am not willing to chase. This, this right here today, is my best. And it sort of reset my goals and status quo of what I can and want to do. Hard RESET. Let’s go.

April

Just like that, we are back to RACING!!!! I started the month with a race I had heard SO much about, the Washington DC Cherry Tree Blossom 10 Miler, an epic run through a very scenic and historic course. The race was truly beautiful, joyful and fast. The race report is here and the video recap is there as well. There was a taper before, a recovery after and then I race the Hot Chocolate 15K in Brooklyn. Also Fun. Did pretty well and the speed is coming back (slowly). Training is good for the soul. And the race results ;-). Oh and I almost forgot: I did a relay marathon in a 200-meter track. That was fun and brutal and insane and fun. More here.

Of course, there were many other fun runs, speedwork sessions, group intervals and what not. See pictures below for more:

I ate everything with melted chocolate dip and washed it down with chocolate

DATA DOWNLOAD

Overall Small Recap

Total Miles: 127, CRAP. Three races really bring down the total with the taper and the recovery…

Downs: legs were sore

Ups: All the fast miles!!!

Balance: Good month overall. Hard work is starting to pay off!

March

was momentous!! On December 10 I started a training program (that I wrote obviously) that would take me through the NYC Half on March 17. It took 527 miles, 14 weeks, 101 miles at goal pace, 6 training partners, two continents as training grounds, and a lot of sweat to get there. The United NYC Half popped up and it was glorious. My race recap is here, and the race video recap is here if you are curious. It was not a PR or a particularly fast race but I felt strong and did amazing. I was able to crush the distance and come out happy. I love halfs. This one is super scenic and that helps.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The other BIG thing is that I was in Buenos Aires for a week and the running was AMAZING!!!! I will post a video soon. Or maybe a “where to run” type post but for now, here are a few pictures for now:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Running in Palermo was a total blast. Can’t wait to go back. I really will work on a post. 100%!

DATA DOWNLOAD

Overall Small Recap

Total Miles: 159, still ok, the taper and the post half recovery slowed me down! Though I am still somehow 31 miles ahead of the 1800 miles goal for 2019.

Downs: not one!

Ups: I had an insane 5-mile tempo that will inspire me all year. Running in Palermo. Finally managing to do speed by myself when I don’t have an option. This month was above the charts!

Balance: TOO GOOD

February

was cold and FAST. Did I tell you I have been training HARD?? I started mid-December, this is week 12 of 14. First race is the NYC Half in two weeks. Training is going amazing. The hardest part was the first 2-3 weeks… when I still didn’t think I could do it. It had been so long since I had a written-down-formal-training-program that I was a bit scared. But if my runners do it, why wouldn’t I? They inspired me. They ask for it, they pay for it, they’re not afraid… what am I waiting for??? So I did it to myself!!!!

So… it was aggressive. So far in these 12 weeks, I’ve run 83 miles under 7:30 pace. Which is what I think should be around my half marathon pace (though who knows?); that’d be around a 1:38 half, not a PR but I don’t think I am in PR shape. We shall see in the next few months… stay tuned.

February had a little snow, some cold days, some brutally cold days, lots of friends and runs, no races, and I don’t remember what else. It was chill, fun, and rewarding.

DATA DOWNLOAD

Overall Small Recap

Total Miles: 170. not bad. at all. for a short month

Downs: by the end of the month I was getting sick of the cold… as usual.

Ups: Training is going amazing!

Balance: Excited for warm weather and less laundry soon!

January

was something: it started REALLY HOT (the first day of the year I did speedwork in a sports bra!) and then it was record-breaking COLD. Running in the cold is so tricky… if you’re underdressed you’ll be miserable (and prone to injure stiff muscles), but if you’re overdressed you’ll also be miserable (and prone to not finish a workout either). Not only I spend way more time layering up but leveling each layer’s materials is a science I work at perfecting every day. Plus, add the wind-chill, the humidity, the area you’ll be running around, and the specific workout to the variables and it could literally cripple you in distress before you even start running… WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF, HUH?

ANYWAY… so it was hot, then cold, then freezing, then back to cold that felt warm because after freezing cold is nothing. I am, somehow, still sticking to my crazy exhausting training plan, and it’s actually going great (some days better than others!). It’s mostly 4 hard workouts a week, but I built them slooooow, so it’s all safe. Painfully horrible BUT SAFE. It’s going well. Plus, I’ve had a few good friends jump in to help in, to pace, to train with, or just distract me from my thoughts of jumping into the reservoir. They are ALL faster than me. I swear. No joke, it’s super humiliating humbling, every week. My main pacer, Pamela Hunt, just won Runner of the Year at the NYRR Club Night. And there I am, trying my best, huffing and puffing, week after week. Why? Because I a not ready to give up. Not yet.

January was a challenging month on the personal side, most of you know. It was heartbreaking but also full of joy. I am trying to navigate all those super strong emotions. We learn something every day if we keep our eyes and hearts open. I am mostly thankful to get to go through this, and to know the people in my life are super strong and we hold each other up.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

DATA DOWNLOAD

Overall Small Recap

Total Miles: 147. Not bad! IF I am shooting for 1,800 miles in 2019, the monthly average should be around 158, so I need to up it up a bit. I think it’s hard to put on a lot of miles when I am training because I am currently doing 4 hard workouts a week, so I need more rest than usual…

Downs: just the world-record-breaking really really really cold temps

Ups: I have managed to stick to my training even in this cold weather!

Balance: starting the year STRONG! Let’s go!

June, where did you go? June was awesome and QUICK...? It started with the Italy Run, a 5 miler in Central Park that was fun.

#BIOMECHANICS #central park #central park running #New York City #new york city marathon #nyc racing #nycrunning #nyrr #running #running biomechanics #running in nyc

0 notes

mykatesingh-blog · 6 years ago

Text

I love that we have the choice of running water, we can watch funny things on TV, and with the press of 3 buttons our laundry does itself and comes out fresh and clean (sometimes). I love flushing the toilet and being able to stock my pantry with a few shopping trips at stores filled with pretty jars and brightly colored boxes. And the vacuum, God bless it, let us not forget the vacuum.

I’ve added a few other items to my life to bring some modern ease into my domestic duties; a bread maker from the Hospice thrift and…hum, well I guess that is it. I did get a handheld milk frother but that isn’t so modern. I guess when held up to say a Nescafe Dolce Gusto, it seems victorian.

I once dreamt of owning a Dolce Gusto coffee and latte machine. I had it on my Christmas list. With Christmas, my husband and I don’t get each other gifts. We indulge the children and I make candy and cookies for neighbors and friends. I cook for family as their gift. But this is a magical time that I adore and I usually grant myself a wish or two as a Christmas gift to myself. It is usually an item to decorate the home to make it more charming like a lovely quilt for the family bed or a kitchen gadget to bring more joy into the adults lives like a stovetop Italian espresso maker. I think that is fair and fine.

I love old fashioned things to use in my house. I use them mostly to force me to slow down and be present when cleaning or cooking. I learned this from the Amish. Not that I’ve ever been around them but I’ve read enough Amish fiction and philosophy to get what they are working at. A connection and communion with the Creator, Spirit. You must slow down and get very quiet to hear that the Universe has to share.

I percolate my coffee on the stove to smell the aroma waft through the house in the morning and I use a wooden broom to sweep my wooden floors. That was inspired by Tibetan monks. Don’t ask.

Modern technology was meant to make life easier but people are so busy now. Busier than an 1800’s farmer. They at least slowed down in the winter. Most people cram jam as much into a day and week and monthly schedule as possible. And most people are using liquor or pills to calm down. Interesting, right?

Why not mimic some of farmer grandma’s ways? Let’s take some of great grandma’s frugality and thrift from the Depression Era. Then borrow a little 1950’s housewife scheduling and work, add modern tools and voila!! You have a balanced, cozy, pleasant life.

Farmers used to go with the seasons. Maybe they still do but I read about the old days often so I don’t know what farm life is like today. I would think they went by the natural days light and each season had its specific chores and routines. They worked hard but all the work was for their family, their farms, their land, their homes. They worked long hours when it called for it and had slow days in between. Although the farmer’s work is ongoing and can be grueling, it is also natural. Farm work is done with the hands, takes focus and being in tune with the flow of seasons and the needs of creatures that depend on them, and it’s mostly outdoors in nature with sunshine, fresh air, and the domestic and wild critters. No long days under fluorescent lighting and ringing phones and instant messages, and constant dinging cell phones. The commute is to the barn, to the fields, back to the barn, to the house and repeat.

Depression Era, now here is a subject that has fascinated me lately. I had a book suggested to me ( We Had Everything But Money) that changed my whole perspective on what we really need and how to live simply to survive any financial crisis…or to just have a peaceful existence and not be a slave to money. You learn to wisely work with the money to best have it serve the families needs.

Depression Era homemakers were shrewd, wise, creative. They learned to work with very little, repurpose everything and anything that came into their home and how to be sustainable and resourceful. They made dresses from flour and sugar sacks, had kitchen gardens instead of lawns, and knew how to can any food imaginable. They made every penny count and wasted nothing. They were living greener than anyone in this day and age.

The 1950’s housewife was still making things from scratch and hand cranking the laundry but life was getting easier with washing machines, supermarkets, and vacuums. Now she didn’t need the kitchen garden and canning was already done at the factory. It was new gadgets and a car in the driveway. However, there was still a woman in the home and a focus on tending to the running of it and the care of the family.

Now we have everyone at work and school, after-school activities, long nights at the office, longer commutes, sports and extracurricular classes for the kids, quotas to meet, standardized testing, hours of homework, bringing work home…how depressing just thinking of it.

People were driven by simple living and dreams, family and faith. Now they are driven by money, pride, greed, a desire for titles, raises, promotions, and success.

Children are being driven beyond breaking and literally crazy by the pressure. I was reading in Free to Learn by Peter Gray, that suicides have quadrupled since the ’50s amongst children under 15 years old. And yet we still keep increasing the hours at school and homework and now most kids study during the summer. There is no play, no relaxing, no being a child.

And adults…where do I start? There is definitely not much fun or time for much of anything outside the job work and housework and running errands and taking the kids around to forced classes. And it is all for what in the end?

If you wound up on your death bed tomorrow, what would you think of this life? Would you still be thinking of the files on your desk at work and the laundry? Or would you luxuriate in sweet thoughts of the last few days with your family and playing in your garden or baking sweet bread in your kitchen?

All this hustle and bustle is for kids to get into that college and for us to get that raise or promotion. Then there is the desire for more money. But when is it enough and where do we stop and say, “that is just about right”. We don’t. We want more and more and more.

I see it on YouTube where I live part time myself with my vlog and researching canning and homesteading. Some vloggers are very successful but the more successful they become the fancier and fandangled they get and the YouTubers start selling things and promoting companies that sponsor them…even though they are making more than enough and talking about sustainability and simple living. Ha! We get greedy, it’s in our cells. We are hunters and gatherers by heart and we just keep collecting, consuming, gathering, pushing…

I was getting a bit driven myself and became irritable and didn’t have that much time for my children and play. Play? what is that, good Lord?

Then I deleted all my social media. Ahhh…that felt nice and a cool breeze swept through the valley. Then I stopped writing books at my corporate pace. I stopped forcing things and setting goals. I took up colored pens and filled the kiddie pool. I’m baking more bread, purging the house of clutter because I’m tired of cleaning and organizing “stuff”. Have I completely changed my life? No. I’m still figuring it out because I have been on a hampster wheel myself with working and producing.

But what is helping me find that sweet spot is my memories of our lives in Walnut Grove, when we lived on a fruit farm by the river. We had just moved there from our community by the coast and it was isolated. The town had less than 800 citizens and four miles away. The large town was a 40-minute drive if you wanted to purchase groceries or shop at Walmart or any super store. My husband worked long hours and six days a week. We had one car and walking anywhere was out of the question. The river road had no sidewalk and people drove wild and fast. The only place to walk was around the alfalfa fields or through the orchards. Trips to town were planned once a week. All my friends and family lived hours away now and I only had one elder named Alice to keep me company and help me adjust to life in a pear orchard and scorching hot days.

Alice and my family along with a vacation house for the owners of the farm were the only houses there. We listened to the thick chirp and chatter of birds in the morning and the howls and calls of coyote at night.

It was lonely but one of the most peaceful and pleasant times of our lives. I had small children that required nothing more than lots of love, nursing, and me sitting nearby as they played with sand toys and blocks. We had an antenna but didn’t watch much TV. We just had these slow days of hanging out. The babies played and explored with me just there to make sure they didn’t get into dangerous situations or eat too much sand and I read stacks of Amish fiction, made casseroles, baked treats, hung my clothes on the old clotheslines, and cleaned my home.

On a farm, you feel the full seasons. In the summer you have routines to keep the house cool such as opening and closing blinds with the suns direction, running the whole house fan, and doing chores early and taking walks in the evening. In the winter you get up early to build a fire to warm the house and you bake and cook a lot to keep the house warm. You rise with the sun naturally and go to bed soon after the sunset and cleaning the kitchen. You learn what fruits are in season when and pick them at the peak of ripeness. You only go to town once a week and you make it count.

I wasn’t working on a writing career or any other side work back then. I was just tending to my house and family and I had all the time in the world to read luxuriously under our huge olive tree. We used to take drives through the country and farms to explore our area in the summer evenings. Friends loved to visit because it was so calm and quiet. We would lounge about eating good foods and talking endlessly.

Today I’m busy by my own making of goals and challenges and the boys are bigger and full of energy. We have gardens and homeschooling. But I crave that slower life once again. So, I’m on a quest to downsize and remove all that isn’t bringing this family enjoyment or enhancing the quality of our lives. I purposely buy gadgets that slow the pace and I do things by hand or make food from scratch.

My suggestion is to clear the calendar, clear out the clutter, clear that schedule, try to reduce work so there are times you put in a long day and times you sit about reading all day. Find ways and reasons to work and play outside. All that cement and fluorescent lighting aren’t good for the soul. Stop signing your kids up for all those classes. What will make them smarter, happier, healthier, and more confident is having time to be children, to play freely and if you would just let them be.

As for you the working parent or homemaker…find ways to simplify and learn to savor life. Plant a kitchen garden, start making your own bread, take time to learn sewing or painting, can jam. These things are like a balm to the soul.

Rates of suicides amongst children and rates of depression and stress-induced death amongst adults are rising faster every year. It is a serious thing and it is self-induced to keep up with the trends and chase the almighty dollar. No title, no promotion, no amount of money will be worth all the lost years with family and friends, with your children…with yourself. Take back your life, scale down life to something small and delicious and find ways to save money and live smaller by growing your own food, canning, mending clothes, living under your means, having one car, getting rid of cable and whatever else to bring down the bills.

Trust me, the less you have the more you thrive if done wisely.

Homemaking like our grandmothers. I love that we have the choice of running water, we can watch funny things on TV, and with the press of 3 buttons our laundry does itself and comes out fresh and clean (sometimes).

0 notes

ruthellisneda · 8 years ago

Text

This Londoner Might Be the Inspiration You Need to Lose Weight

All of her life, Olly Bey was overweight. “From the get-go,” she explains. “I even came out as a 10-pound baby.”

This is the story of how this London-based education project manager came to lose 110 pounds — through lots of stops and starts — and became something of a social media sensation … as told through her Instagram posts, of course.

“My journey’s been a lot longer than a lot of other people’s,” she says.

Most of Bey’s friends and family came to peg her as a heavy girl. And she bought into it. “I just assumed I was supposed to be fat,” she says. At her heaviest, she hit 259 pounds when she was 25 years old.

#transformationtuesday. – This was trip a to Spain I took with my friends, as usual I was fully clothed with a gurdle underneath in the heat. I honestly used to hate summer. My thighs would swell up from constantly rubbing together and I’d sweat like crazy because I insisted on wearing a gurgle instead of trying to do something about my weight. Let’s leave aesthetics aside for one moment. If your weight is causing you to be uncomfortable, messing with your quality of life and damaging your health then do something. I know how hard and overwhelming it is to start but do what you can before your forced to do something. You don’t have to start big but you have to start otherwise nothing changes. _ #bethechangeyouwant #changyourfatitude #startwhereyouare #youcandoit #youvsyou #itsnotarace #healthfirst #phukasthetics #chooseyoursmile #transformationtueaday #afrogirlfitness #changestartswithyou #positivevibes #exercise #extremeweightloss #over100lbdown #fitspo

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on Jun 13, 2017 at 12:12pm PDT

For years, Bey tried counting calories, which worked occasionally — her weight fluctuated. But it wasn’t until three years ago that she started using MyFitnessPal consistently and began viewing food as more than just calories. She asked questions on the MyFitnessPal forums and learned about macros: proteins, carbs and sugars. She started reading nutritional labels and logging the specific foods she was eating (instead of guessing), and weighing portions on food scales to get an accurate idea of what she was eating.

“I didn’t realize my old eating habits were bad,” she says, recalling eating two breakfasts or drinking two liters of Coke daily. “I just thought it was normal.”

READ MORE > THE WALK THAT SAVED A LIFE — CHRIS’ WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY

Portion size was the biggest problem: “I was eating cereal for five,” she jokes. She also didn’t want to miss out on enjoying family events, which usually centered on Nigerian food. It was a shock for some of her friends and family to see her go from partying to planning her meals.

So I’ve had a few people ask me how to make healthy Nigerian meals. Firstly YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP naija food in order to eat healthy. It’s all about making the right swaps with ingredients and watching portion sizes. . . If you want nutrition advice and examples for healthy Nigerian meals then check out my fitsis @fitmrsfats. Her page is packed with meal ideas, especially Nigerian food. We connected on IG some time ago, she has an amazing spirit and is full of support . . . If you want to chop efo riro and not feel guilty then my girl @fitmrsfats will show you the way without the palm oil #healthyfood #nigerianfood #eattolive #youcanatilleatthefoodyoulove #practicemoderation #portioncontrol #fitchick #nutritioniskey #weightloss #mealplansundays #instafit #foodie

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on Jul 17, 2016 at 12:29am PDT

Sure enough, the weight began to come off. But she still wasn’t happy, she says, because she still wasn’t in shape. That’s when she reached what she calls “phase two of being sick and tired.” Enter her exercise regimen, which didn’t come easily either.

Bey bought a Beach Body DVD, but it sat on the table in her flat for four months until she finally tried it. When she went to the gym, she didn’t know where to start or what to do. It was all men in the weight room, and she had to Google videos of the machines to learn how they worked. After trying basic aerobic exercise for a few months, she found weightlifting a year ago and her routine evolved. “It made me change my focus not on how I look, but on how I feel,” she says.

The desire to lose weight forced me to get active but it has not been what has kept me going. I talk about ‘getting waisted’ etc but my drive for showing up goes way deeper than that. I remind myself that fitness has been the one thing that allowed me to strip back all the background noise in my life and make me wake up. The discipline required made me stop indulging in certain things that were taking me no where. It made me stand still enough to realise I needed to start praying. It has shut down alot of the negative self talk and made me realise anything is possible if your willing to work for it. Getting fit is deeper than aesthetics. The lessons you learn will have a compounding effect on your life. When you start to view it this way, working out no longer becomes a chore. It becomes such apart of your lifestyle that you question why you left it took you so long to make it a priority. #ourbodiesaremadetomove #healthiswealth #healthybillonaire

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on Nov 25, 2016 at 12:40am PST

Soon she began to share her journey on social media. Her sister encouraged her to set up her Instagram account. And Bey began to develop a new routine: getting up around 5 a.m. every morning to head to the gym and post: a selfie in the weight room, a motivational quote, pictures of her workout or a video of her talking through some of the challenges.

Very quickly, people began flocking to her for inspiration. It’s only been a year, but Bey now has more than 9,000 followers — though she doesn’t call them followers; she calls them “slayers.”

“When I don’t post, people message me,” she says. “Actually, my story’s not my story if I can’t help people.”

Change your method…NOT your goals! I was sent this key reminder from the inspiring and SUPER encouraging @healthy_everyday_living. Keeping it low impact and getting creative with what I can do. Once my foot has healed up I’M ABOUT TO TEAR THIS PLACE UP!! #gassed #cantkeepmedown #excusesdontlivehere #lowimpact #movingon #pitypartyover

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on Feb 8, 2017 at 12:39am PST

She also started a blog with a name to match her Instagram handle — Changing My Fatitude — and began offering a two-week package to help people get started, dispensing some of the basic advice she needed to get her on her way: home workouts, how to use reminders on MyFitnessPal, tips on logging food and meal planning, recipes and even a beginner’s shopping guide.

Bey says she gets emotional notes and comments from people who are struggling with their own journeys: exercise, food, even self-esteem issues, like not wanting to be in photos with their kids. She theorizes that many of her followers — women also trying to lose weight — respond to her struggles and want to share their own.

Bey also grew up in a Muslim household, but had never practiced. As she got more discipline in her life and moved away from her old partying lifestyle, she says, “I realized I was missing something.” It’s still a process, she says, but she’s building her relationship with her spirituality. A number of her followers are also young Muslim women who want tips on how to incorporate their practice with healthy eating and exercise, or have logistical questions about how to train during Ramadan.

As Ramadan approaches, I’ve had many questions from Sisters regarding exercise and nutrition during the Holy month. I’ll do my best share advice from my own experience and also point you in the direction of some other sisters who will have various tips and advice for you. Firstly Ramadan is about worship and improving ones spiritual self, we should not lose ourselves in our fitness goals and miss out on benefits of this period. Equally it does not mean that we have to over indulge in food or completely step back from physical activity. Lets talk exercise in this post, many of you have asked if you can still workout whilst fasting. Yes, you can HOWEVER you will need to make adjustments to your usual intensity and the timing of your training. Everyone is completely different, for example I prefer to train 1 hour or so before Iftar because that works for me however I know some people prefer to train just after Iftar or before Suhoor. There is no perfect time to exercise during Ramadan; Instead – listen to your body and whenever it is ready for a workout you should go for it and perform a moderate workout. Regardless of the time you train, you will need to drop the intensity (number of days and lengh of session). I drop the number of days I train to 4 days and I don’t do more than 40 to 45 minutes, the aim is to get in and get out. For example if you train just before Iftar then heavy weights or a HIIT session is not ideal because by that time you will be heavily dehydrated and tired. Opt for light weights, more reps and low intensity cardio. If you plan to train after Taraweeh prayers or before Suhoor then you may be able to train at your usual intensity because you would have eaten and have the added benefit of being able to drink water at that point. You don’t need to completely drop your fitness goals but you need to be flexible and focus on maintaining instead. You will find multi articles and advice suggesting A is the best way to train during Ramadan or B is the best way to train during Ramadan. Personally the key is to listen to your own body, because everybody responds differently. Stay tuned…

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on May 11, 2017 at 9:07am PDT

Despite her newfound notoriety, Bey doesn’t necessarily want to be a personal trainer or a nutrition coach. She thinks her value is in connecting with people who are going through challenges similar to what she’s experienced.

“I see myself as an ‘agony aunt,’” she says, using a British term for advice columnists. Her next plan is to do more Q&A videos, where she answers follower-submitted questions and asks other followers for their input.

“In my ideal world, I would love to be Oprah,” she laughs. Right now, it takes a lot of time just to answer people’s questions and to stick to her own training and food plans.

She still struggles to keep up, she says, especially in social settings, but that’s part of the journey. And it’s one of the messages she wants to pass on to others: It’s OK to make mistakes. That’s part of the journey, too.

It’s on you! if you are repeatedly making the same mistakes then take a step back to assess the situation. Mistakes are cool, because they provide a platform to learn and do better but if you are honestly starting over every Monday because you didn’t learn any lessons from the weekend before then this journey will continue to feel like groundhog day. Forgive yourself, move on but also take note of what made you fall off so your not in the same position next Monday. It’s on you! _ #nocuddlezone #wehavetodobetter #falldowngetup #yougotthis #motivation #keeppushing

A post shared by OllyB (@changingmyfatitude) on May 22, 2017 at 12:36am PDT

The post This Londoner Might Be the Inspiration You Need to Lose Weight appeared first on Under Armour.

http://ift.tt/2rWkJf7

#This Londoner Might Be the Inspiration You Need to Lose Weight

0 notes

neilmillerne · 8 years ago