#also covid 3 just means third year of covid. which is why it is a free space. thanks so much

[imagines-babes]

Love me please (Punz)

Hey this week is a continuing of the Punz story. I'm still undecided on if I should end it here or make one last one. But here is the third part. This week song is, "Love Me Please" by OCTAVIO the Dweeb. Hope everyone enjoys this week story till next week.

Part 1_Part 2 Punz list Masterlist

************

So it's been a month or close to a month since thanksgiving. Have he and I talked about how close we were to kissing 3 times? No. Has it been weird? Well no. A little yeah. Is his mom hoping we go out soon and keeps telling punz to ask me out? Yes yes, she is but I wasn't trying to overhear that. Well, it wasn't overhearing I don't think it was... It was just they were talking in the other room and I happen to be close to the wall so I overheard. So maybe I was eavesdropping. His mom still messaged me every once in a while to ask how he is. Or to ask if he has asked me out on a date such I reply no. She really did hope for us to or at least try and go out on a date. I hope the same. So every time I try I just chicken out. But right-now punz has Covid and I suggested well more like stated that I will be over to help him till he is better which he agreed to.

My plane just landed a day before Christmas Eve. I paid for an Uber to take me to the store to buy presents like nothing but something sentimental from me to him. So I bought him nerf gun(real sentimental huh.)  No, it's not sentimental it's just being in a room alone he will be bored unless he moved his setup to his room. Which chances are he didn't so why not a nerf gun? Then the rest of the supplies were like

*New Year's Eve*

8 letters

I am gonna say those 8 letters tonight at midnight. I am gonna get my midnight kiss. With him. I mean how hard can it be?

"How hard can what be" I glanced over at the door to see him holding a Red Bull and sitting next to me. "How hard can it be to find a good show before the countdown to new years starts!" I say rolling my eyes. Putting my legs over his thigh as he holds them close to his stomach. "You know I'm glad you came here for New Year's Eve. Since I couldn't travel cause of me having Covid for a week," he glanced over at me with a smile. He did have COVID and while at his house he stayed in his room and streamed. I would take him some food or drinks. Other than that I would hear him call me if he wanted anything which was his Starbucks in the morning. Now he is Covid free. All I did was hit his shoulder with a laugh. "Well, I can't have you spending it alone and going to the new year alone. Plus," I start to feel taps on my calves, "at best you would've gone to Dream team house to pop fireworks with also Sylvee and Hannah." He just gave a laugh and answered , "I mean we still can."

The ride to the official dream team house is only the outside of town. I open the window to see sky filled with fireworks. My head starting to go out like a dog while punz just tired to hold me down.

Punz just stared at y/n. She liked free. She was enjoying life and he only enjoy life. Only because she was there with him this new year. He is gonna be with the girl he... loves.

11:30 pm

Parking the car to see everyone outside. Everyone meaning Sylvee, Hannah, Dream, George,and Sapnap. They all stood in the side of the house holding some of the fireworks for midnight while the rest was on the floor. Welcoming each other the two separated.

11:40pm

"Are you gonna do it?" Sapnap question Punz about midnight. Punz just looked at Y/n as she laugh. Punz just stare at her. But not like a stalker stare like a loving stare. Hannah notice shortly after while she told y/n. All she did was tilt her head and gave a small stare. "At midnight I will." Punz turned back to look at his friends with a smile. While y/n was talking to Hannah and Sylvee. As they asked the same question to her. "We will have to wait and see won't we."

11:50pm

Sapnap started to pop fireworks (mostly blackjack and a box called Jack in the box) while the minutes pass. I found a smoke bomb lighting it with punk(it's the brown stick). Throwing to see the blue smoke starting to surround me in seconds. I felt someone approach me, turning to see Punz starting to cough. "You know you shouldn't be in the smoke." While he laugh, "you should take your own advice." the smoke died out. He held a magic shot(the one that has like small balls inside and you point it to the sky. while they shot out in the sky.) "Didnt think they would have these?" Punz holding the firework looking forward to seeing someone in front of us.  "Why wouldn't they have this y/n? it's at least one thing you have to get no matter if you small or old." He approach me getting a hold of my had. Wrapping his hand in mine he lit the firework standing close behind me with his hand in mine. We both counted the number of balls that went out. Till it went out.

11:58 pm

We were near the others while punz help setting up the fireworks that were left. The time was slowly getting away while my hands started to feel tingly. Only because it was close to midnight and I needed to do this. Confess my feeling I mean. Tapping my fingers holding the drink of mine.

11:59pm

He went back beside me looking at the row. "You sure you don't want to light them up?" I asked while he shakes his head. "No Sapnap got this plus I think Dream was gonna help him." He place his hand on  my back. I glanced at my watch seeing the seconds felt like it was minutes. "Punz," he broke my thoughts, "I need to tell you something alright." He nod.

30 seconds before 12

Face to face of each other i held my drink tight starting to control my breathing. "Yeah you can tell me anything," He just a smile. That smile that I love. That smile that makes my heart melt.

20 seconds

"Don't do that," I say while he was confused, "the smile just look at me with a straight face alright before I chicken out on what I'm about to do."

10 seconds

Sapnap shouts leaning down to set the first firework out. Everyone starts to countdown from ten while I just stared at punz. "Luke, I can't stop." He wanted to intrude, "No don't talk.

5

"I can't go into another year of us being just friends."

4

"I want to be with you punz. I want to be with you in everything you do."

3

"From streaming in your gaming room or going to see your mom or just on the phone"

2

"What I'm trying to say is"

1

"I love you Luke as much more than a friend"

12am

"Happy New Year." Sapnap yelled as he lit the firework trying to lit as much as he can before seeing the light filled the air. Punz just space out after I said those words. I started to walk away while he held my wrist bring me in to kiss his lips. The cheers were from behind us. He pulled away from the kiss with a smile. "Well I'm gonna take that as an I love you aswell."

[phanfinger]

I'm in a multiple subject credential program currently.

So I get to student teach. This is not my first rodeo. I've student taught two times before.

First time was 9 years ago. I was a child development major at the community college that I went to. I did the practicum class, for preschool. Oh my god, I had the worst experience ever. The mentor teacher or whatever the fuck she was called was so incredibly bad at giving my constructive criticism. I thought that I was bad because she never had something nice to say me ever. I seriously remember that the only positive thing she ever said to me was that I noticed things in children that she did not notice. I was in the preschool classroom once a week for four hours. I spent the entire time on edge because of her. But I did enjoy being around the children. When I was getting my end of the year review from her from my lecture teacher, I really thought that I was going to fail. My lecture teacher misplaced my review from her so she called her right then to review me. To my disbelief, the mentor teacher gave me a glowing review. I was incredibly shocked. Fuck that bitch honestly. I almost quit the whole major all together.

But I continued on. I got into a California State University. Majored in Early Childhood Studies. I still enjoyed learning about children. I enjoyed my lecture teachers. It had its own student teaching program. But uh oh! Covid happened! So student teaching had to be online. It fucking sucked so bad. Not because the children I had to observe were annoying or anything but mostly because of the state of the world. My teachers assigned us videos to watch and create curriculum that way. It was not ideal for sure. I got my degree in early childhood studies in spring of 2021. I was so done. I was finished. I was burnt out so badly. Got a shitty preschool job. I quit after three days.

But then I got a good preschool job. I stayed there for three years. There was a moment in my first year where my co teacher's husband had open heart surgery and so she was out for 2 weeks. I was able to run that classroom. I was so happy. I felt like that I proved that mentor teacher bitch wrong. I could do this. I can be a teacher. I just finished there about two weeks ago. It feels weird but I needed to move on.

Why? Well, TK (Transitional Kindergarten, which takes kids as early as 4 years old) is taking enrollment away from preschool. Unless I wanted to work with children who were barely 3 years old and not potty trained, I am shit out of luck. Also, preschool doesn't pay shit. I fully believe in preschool though. If you have the means to, send your child to several years of preschool. Your child needs the social skills, believe me. Your child knowing their ABCs and their numbers up to 20 doesn't mean shit if they're hitting their friends, taking things without permission, or being unable to listen to people in general.

Anyway, I've been assigned 3rd grade. Quite different than preschool. I think it's pretty funny because I actually repeated the third grade. My family was moving across the city we lived in and my science skills were not up to my science teacher mom's standards. So moved schools but repeated third grade. I remember my second year of third grade being much easier and reading a lot. My teacher was on the verge of retirement so she didn't care what I did when I finished my work. I am very excited to relearn the material again 21 years later!

I've met up with my cooperating teacher twice now. She seems fine as a person.

However, her entire classroom and the way she has organized her classroom is entirely Harry Potter themed and based. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty impressive but at the same time so incredibly cringe. I mean, she's had years to change it and she hasn't. And she's basically admitted to me that she has spent so much time, effort, and money making her classroom look and operate like this. She asked me if I was a fan. I said that I had read all the books and seen all the movies based on the books. She interrupted me and said that I was way ahead of her previous student teachers. I told her that I was 30 that I grew up with it but I'm not a fan of it anymore.

She's vaguely aware of J.K's assholery but not really. I told her what J.K. just recently did and her response was literally, "Well, that is too bad."

She's kind of an ally. I guess. A very basic one. I referred to my non binary twin as "they" and she stopped me and told me to say that it again as she wants to get pronouns right. Her 20 year old majoring in art daughter always yells at her about getting pronouns right for her friends. I took the opportunity to tell her that I was agender. She was as supportive as she could muster I guess. But I told her that in the classroom that I was a woman. She said that was best because the elementary school that I've been assigned to hosts military families and they can be a bit conservative. It makes sense because there are two local bases.

Anyway, first day is Wednesday. I'm hoping to muster enough energy to write about my experiences every day but we'll see.

[calendarcrawl]

January 2023

THE PEAR TREE INN

HOOK NORTON, OXFORDSHIRE

8th January 2023

And we’re back! Everyone’s favourite calendar based beer-venture has returned for the first time since Covid.

Lots has changed in those 3 fallow years: we’ve had a global pandemic, full scale war has returned to the European continent, I’ve become a dad and my daughter has seen one third as many Prime Ministers before her 2nd birthday as I’ve seen in 35 years. It’s all very strong and stable.

What hasn’t changed though is our thirst for a good pint and a nice boozer. But why pick and choose where we go to do that when we can just leave it entirely to chance? After all, we’ve had the last three years to pick and choose our drinking establishments. So what me and the boys decided, was that we needed some (more) uncertainty in our lives. Enter “Olde Worlde Inns Calendar 2023”.

January saw us roll out the red carpet to Calendar virgins, Karl Taylor and Jack Rowley, who would be picking up their first cap and joining us in our perpetual hobby of drink and bad decisions.

This month, we were thrown in at the shallow end for a relatively short drive to the Pear Tree Inn in Hook Norton, Oxfordshire. When I say “relatively short drive”, I mean it. There’s been Stranger Things episodes that are longer than the drive to Hook Norton. So we were grateful for that. But easy to get to doesn’t always mean it’s going to be easy to love...

While the calendar pub itself was a beautifully rustic, old fashioned rural boozer - the nearby town of Banbury, where we decided to try our luck for more frivolous and exotic beverages, proved to be nothing short of a clusterfuck. But let’s start at the beginning.

We started the trip with a quick pint at The Gate Hangs High on the way into Hook Norton. This was for recon purposes to see if it was worth travelling back out to later. In short, no. Nice enough place but only one ale on, and it all felt a bit light and airy in there. We like our pubs like we like our women - dark, miserable and wet (by which I mean, serving alcohol, not flooded).

Thankfully, the calendar pub had plenty of darkness and intimacy. It made a pleasant change from the typical calendar establishments, which are predominantly gastropubs you can’t wait to move on from. There was 5 or 6 cask ales on and a couple of keg lines, all predictably loaded with Hook Norton beers, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We had a couple in there, snapped the photograph and then went for a 3 minute walk down the road to the Hook Norton Brewery.

The building itself is an old Victorian tower brewery that looks like something from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Having done a fair few brewery tours in the last year, we decided instead to just have some food and get on our drinking shoes. From what I remember, I had Pie and Mash washed down with three pints of different stuff I’ve not had before (a Rye beer, a pale ale and a gluten free beer). It also turns out we were sat next to the owners of the brewery - so after a quick chinwag with the matriarch of Hook Norton, it was time to try out the local taxi firm and check out Banbury.

The taxi dropped us off at the ‘best pub in Banbury’ Ye Olde Reine Deer Inn. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the pub. It had plenty of character and all the Hook Norton you could possibly (not) want. But in hindsight, we shouldn’t have gone here first because the Apothecary Tap (craft beer bar and main reason for our visit to Banbury) closes at 8pm on a Saturday night. And the gaffer didn’t trust us to have “just a quick one” when we rocked up at 7:45pm.

Things went from bad to worse when we ended up drinking in a pub called the Banbury Cross Inn, a place I’d file in the “Not our scene” category. We then tried to find a craft beer place called Tap Social something or other but Google Maps sent us some inaccessible route via a canal.

With the merciless sands of time pushing past 9pm and Banbury clearly suffering from some sort of post-New Year malaise, we decided to cut our losses and get a taxi back to the calendar pub (where we were also staying). If our visit to Dunkirk back in September taught us anything, it was when to call a tactical retreat.

And thankfully, that proved to be the right move because not only did we get to enjoy the Pear Tree Inn on a wintry Saturday evening, but the lovely landlady also hooked us up with a fully loaded cheeseboard on account of it being Cheese Night. And so it went, that we’d finish our trip to Hook Norton with a bit of a lock in, drinking with the staff until about 2am before finally calling it a day.

And guess what, Jon fell asleep drinking again.

[tloaftyob]

10-16-2022

Well, birthday celebrations were all great. I got a go pro from my mom. We are going on a ski trip in January so I’m gonna record it with that. My parents are also separating, so there’s that too. Probably for the best, they’ll be happier that way.

Going out to the bars with my friends was great too. We were a bit late to the first place, most of them already there when we arrived. We stayed there for an hour or so, had some food and drinks. I had a really good fishbowl. Then we tried going to my other favorite place, but it was at full occupancy, so we decided to go to the place nextdoor, which is a bit more pricey, but turned out to be super cool. I had only been there once before, and not really looked around. The place has three stories, and an outside balcony for all of them. It was so cool. And a bar on the first and third floors. The second floor is smaller and has some booths. That’s where we set up after being on the third floor balcony for a while. I got pretty drunk, I was hungover the next morning. It took me 40 minutes to get down 2 pop tarts. I got a bunch of videos and pictures from the bars, so I’m super glad about that.

Going to Ellie’s parents the next day was good too. The good was good and there was a surprise cake. I need to throw that out, it’s been in my fridge for a month at this point. Whoops.

Not much has really happened since then. School has been going well. Grades are good. I cant wait to be done and living with Ellie. Everything here reminds me of the past 3 years and how good they were. I see people eating with friends, and I miss my friends who are all either graduated or living off campus. I see couples and miss Ellie. I walk past my old dorm hall and miss my old room, including it’s private bathroom. The hall I’m in now is attached to my freshman year hall, and even that makes me sad. I miss the beforetimes and this place being new and exciting. I am the only one left here, it feels like. Fall break just ended, we got Thursday and Friday off in addition to the normal weekend days. I liked how empty the campus was. I used to love breaks because it meant Ellie and I would have to campus mostly to ourselves for a while, most people went home. Now I like the breaks because it means I don’t have to look at people who are where I was years ago. They remind me of me. I am haunted by the ghost of my past self, I keep saying. I really feel that way. Anywhere on this campus, I can see myself walking, boarding, or whatever. Every sidewalk, alley, building, I have a memory of a better time. This place breaks my heart because I am alone now. I see Ellie multiple times a week, and I eat with colby a few times, but it is different than it was. I am no longer welcome on this alien planet I have called home for the last three years. It has become inhospitable, filled with new blood, aching to pump me out into the world. To bleed me out. Maybe I held on too long, that’s why I’m the only one left. I loved it too much. I would be gone had I not decided to double major. Too late now. I’m stuck here for a while.

Ellie and I got covid two weeks ago. It wasn’t too bad because we are healthy, young, vaxxerz. It was comparable to a cold that lasted longer than usual. Started with a sore throat and fever, turned to a cough and stuffy nose. I tested, it was positive. Missed 2 days of class quarantining. That was nice because I spent quarantine with her. I was setting up my new laptop for a lot of the time. The thing is a beast, it nearly beats my desktop. I had a hell of a time getting arch working with the dual GPUs though. I wish I would have got the laptop at the start of my college career, would have saved me a lot of headaches.

Ellie and I celebrated our 6 years and 10 months this weekend. We got Asian food (i had chicken pad thai for the first time, it was interesting) and watched “Pearl” in the theater. Her and I were the only ones there for a while, then a group of three came in a few minutes before the movie began. The theater was freezing. Like, 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It was ridiculous. The movie was good. Afterwards, Ellie and I went back to my dorm, she tied my hands above my head to the bed, and rode me. We tried that for the first time over quarantine, and she likes it. She likes teasing me, and she says there’s something so manly about my hands being tied. I don’t mind it if it means she enjoys it more. Feels good to me. She had a yeast infection over the summer and it flared up again, so she was burning down there while we were having sex, so she couldn’t enjoy it as much. We tried getting her medicine, but it didn’t work. We are going to try again this week to see if it’ll work better as a multiple day thing.

Last thing because it’s late, Ellie and I have chosen our wedding theme and date. It’s going to be in December 2024, dark pine green color, ski honeymoon to France. She has been learning French and I know it moderately well I think.

Ope, just remembered: I bought factorio two nights ago (I have had my eye on it for years) and have played 18 hours already. It is very fun. Very similar to satisfactory. I’d say it’s harder. More to come as I progress.

Alright, I think that’s all. I guess I was wrong when I said nothing much happened since my last post. Well, goodnight Tumblr.

[mummer]

Alright guys. lets get started

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS  

[january31st]

In coming and going... (Pt.1)

Cruella (2021) x reader

This is a request from the lovely @cosmicbrownies7 “a cruella fic where she’s obsessed with the reader since the reader has been with her since they were little. And after Cruellas success the reader tries to leave but cruella won’t “let” her. Or something along those lines.”

yes i had fun procrastinating and making this cover, now look at it.

A/N: I’ve already apologised a thousand times for how long it’s taken, but thank you for your patience as well as everyone who’s been waiting for me to drop something. Here it is! This is the first half of this fic, the second half is coming very, very soon, I promise, and it is considerably longer than this one. Also, I might have gone off the request a bit, but this was what I managed to come up with.

Uni has been keeping me busy and mentally unstable, as it does, and the holidays never fail to make me spiral, followed by the adorable, cute and lovely exam season for which I can only seem to be able to blink and breathe, AnD! to make things better right in the middle of exam season (had 2/4 exams done) MY ROOMMATE GOT COVID :') I'm still negative and I've switched rooms but we're always together so I do believe it's just the incubation period. fun! today i'm missing an exam that i'll take on the 18th feb instead (considering that my classes start on the 21st…..) and on monday i have calc (for which i am utterly lost and I have to study bc i've failed a subject already but I still don't know if I'm positive and get to miss it or if I have to take it on monday kdjjdksksdj). life rant aside, that is why things. yes. the tiny amounts of time i've had to write have been like little nuggets of sanity, so i very much enjoyed writing it, and very much hope you enjoy reading it <3

warnings: parent death, generally traumatic childhood, yall know me, i don’t do cute backstories. let me know if there's anything else i should add.

|| Masterlist || ... who have you become? || Wattpad Link || AO3 Link ||

~3000 words

Knowing her past, of course it pained you to have to leave, just like everyone else did in her life, and unfortunately that included you, all those years ago, twice. And now you sat here contemplating your options, and leaving again was the most likely outcome.

Third time would be the charm, she thought, and you knew it, you could tell by the sparkle in her eye and the way she held your hand. Her grip on you was always tight, and it got tighter every time you went away and came back.

It's destiny, she would argue. It's fate, that the two of you should meet again and again. But you knew it to be a coincidence, you knew you would always come back to London, even if for a short time, just like now. You had to be rational, since her feelings would always cloud reality. Because your own feelings couldn't mean that much. Of course you liked her, of course you cared about her, but you couldn't let her mean too much to you. As kids it didn't matter much. Later on things got a bit more complicated.

Your own mum worked at the bakery near where Estella and her mum lived, so, in your free time as a little kid (which was basically all of your time) you would go play with her on the street, in her house, in the kitchens of the bakery. Making clothes, drawing each other, and doing all the things kids do.

And of course time could not allow that to go on forever, so the tragic day came.

You didn't know the details of it, and you never cared much to do your research, because thinking too much about it felt like torture to you. But you knew that one day your mum died in an accident at the bakery, something about getting crushed after some of the heavier supplies fell down.

And then you were left to the world.

You could have stayed, you knew in your heart that Katherine would have taken you in, you could have lived with them, but you didn't really have much of a choice.

The orphanage came for you that very day, your mum's employers at the bakery knew that your dad was completely out of the picture, so they reported the issue right away.

You were little, you didn't know anything else. And it wouldn't be until you were both fifteen that you would find Estella again.

Well, let's say that she found you.

Or, Jasper did.

You had been rather unfortunate with your foster families. You weren't a particularly troublesome kid, in fact, you'd like to believe that you were perfectly normal. But your first family consisted of a drunk couple who wanted the money from child support. The second one was almost the same, only worse. They weren't drunks, they were drug addicts. And the years in between consisted of this unlucky sorting of families, until you ran away at last, now fifteen, and found yourself in London somehow, face to face with this boy who tried to steal a little plushie that used to be a pin cushion for sewing, and that you wore dangling from your backpack's zipper.

Jasper thought your watchful eye would be useful to them, since no one else had ever realised they stole something, and he also spotted right on that you didn't really have a family to go home to. So in his mind he offered his family, and his home, but he offered much more without even knowing. A couple hours later you would meet a red haired girl who claimed that she had a plushie like that as a kid. You told her a childhood friend gave it to you, her name was Estella. And that was when the two of you realised that you did know eachother, and even now, after all the time that passed, she never forgot that you kept the stupid plushie.

That was one of the days you would never forget. Finding her again. The way her face lit up and the way it felt to you, no longer being alone in the world. You took your time to study her, the way she had changed, or just grown, essentially, as you knew you had too, just not quite as much as her this time. Both of you explained what life had been like for the past few years, her story flowing out with the addition of your own tears. It warmed your heart that you had found her, it was a relief, a feeling of returning home, though you’d barely known what that word meant at all, but it also broke your heart to know what had happened to her mum, and to know (to know! oh you knew it too well) what she had to live through.

And you loved her, from her box dyed red hair, to her smudged eyeliner, to those small habits she shared with the boys, but you also loved how she was exactly the same person you had to leave before. With her gentle heart and caring soul, and how she always made sure you felt safe, and always listened to your rants about society and general social critique. You knew she got defensive sometimes, but never with you. All the trouble she had made in school seemed perfectly reasonable since you knew who she was in her heart.

☽◯☾

The four of you lived along like this for almost two years. Passing each day through your little robberies. Jasper and Horace would roam the streets to see what places would be more profitable, getting Wink to sniff out small entrances to places, as you and Estella poured over the outfits. When the four of you were together, there wouldn't be a moment of quiet, each joke coming after the previous in rapid fire, reenacting the day's job, the warehouse was alive with laughter.

But you and Estella? There was no need for talking. You worked to the sound of whatever vinyl you'd stolen last, both of you too focused on your tasks to even bother with exchanging useless words. The right glance was all it took, and whatever the message was, it would be received. But it wasn’t always silence filling the room, because when you weren’t working there was plenty to talk about, how both of you viewed the world and wanted it to change, and that was something else you agreed on completely. Polite society was too dull, and it seemed a waste to just follow the rules when they did more harm than good. Making up your own rules always felt right, because you were kids, and there wasn’t much to keep you from it (how terrible it is that it all had to change- again).

And she stuck to her rules religiously, always had the plan in mind, she knew where she would look and what way to turn to. You worked best by feeling out the atmosphere, reading the people around you, observing their moves. You spent nights upon nights thinking about how she felt when you had to leave again. How she must hate you. You could have just followed the plan, any damn plan, and nothing would have happened that day. Did she even have any idea of why you left? Well she had to, she's the smartest person you've ever met! You were left with no choice but to swear to never see those three again.

Estella was always cautious about sticking to a good plan. The days before a big hit she would stay at home and study the place, think about all the outcomes. Jasper used to lend her some of his wisdom too, sketching out different paths to run off, debating what time was best to strike. Horace did sit around as well, suggesting things none of us could ever come up with, because he always had his mind on what Wink and Buddy could do. But you got stressed out looking at their maps and schedules and lists of things to do. And that was okay, because you were more of a hawk on the spots, quick to tell when something was off and when it was time to go. You were best at looking out, keeping your sacred watch as they did their craft.

Each day after the heists you would go out on your walk, check people out, get your news, eavesdrop on what gossip was going around town. It was how you kept your mind going, by keeping on the move as well. On most days you would bring one or both of the dogs with you, sometimes getting one of the boys to come as well.

She wasn't much of a walker, she had better things to do. When she did though, it was the fountain at Regent's park that she would always go to. And it pained you to know why. To know that someone as lovely as Estella had to live through something that terrible.

The two of you shared a room, with two beds on either side of the big table that was always cluttered with sewing supplies and magazine cutouts. On the chill nights when there was nothing to plan, the boys watched TV and you two spent your alone time doing all sorts of things. Playing cards, drawing things, talking about the most recent fashion show. Sometimes you'd be reading in your bed, lying to one side as you waited for sleep to catch on earlier than usual, and she would come up behind you, spooning you to try to get a glance at your book. She always fell asleep faster when she was next to you, and you would put the book down and follow after her, matching your breathing to the one you felt on your back.

Whenever either of you would have nightmares you knew you could join the other, despite the bed being too small. You would hold on to each other to keep you from falling off, her head on your chest, your legs tangled together.

You never thought much of it because it just felt right. Of course you wouldn’t mind her closeness. Her skin was soft and her perfume was sweet, fruit-like. Her embrace made you feel safe and content. Things stayed this way for those two years. To you this life was perfect, there was no need to change it because there was nothing complicated about it. Not the way you felt nor the way your days passed. But that was to you of course. And in your childish oblivion- more of a purposeful blindness really- both the boys and Estella felt this way as well.

While that might have been the case for Jasper and Horace, it wasn’t for Estella. She’d always been ambitious. And you couldn’t argue that she didn’t have the right to be either. Not with all her talent. But then there was the part you didn’t understand at first. Not until the day you left.

It had never occurred to you that a girl could feel that way about another girl, and it had certainly not occurred to you that she could feel that way about you. Or that what you felt for her, the way you never felt for any guy, could be that.

And it wasn’t until the day you left that you realised.

That day had started off as usual. A chaotic morning of getting ready, everyone getting dressed with their costume, yelling back and forth, disputing the one bathroom you all shared. A rushed breakfast as was also usual, Horace running after Wink with his crispies in hand, Jasper leaning on the kitchen counter with his tea, reading the news as his toast lay forgotten, you with your sandwich.

“Jasper, your toast is getting cold, don’t forget it.” you said to him as you went to wash your dishes.

Estella was still adjusting something, like she always did, a perfectionist through and through. You followed her into the “planning” room on the floor above with an apple in hand, like you always did.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not skip breakfast? We won’t be done with this one for a couple hours.” you said to her, tossing the apple her way when she looked at you from behind the mannequin.

“You worry too much darling. We’ll be having lunch at that nice restaurant today, we should get enough from our work to go there.” she said to you, smiling widely before taking a bite of the apple, then keeping it in her mouth as she resumed her task.

“I worry too much? Yeah, tell me about it” you said while laughing, and she answered with a furrow of her brows.

You had started to leave for the elevator, but then you felt the urge to look at her again. She looked a lot more stressed than usual.

“Is it because it’s the fancy watch store?”

“What?” she said, putting the apple down on a table.

“You’ve been messing with the cuffs on that shirt forever. You never second-guess your cuffs.”

“Well it’s because it’s satin. This one’s more slippery than usual” she answered without looking at you.

You stepped closer to her, taking her hands into yours to keep her from unpinning those cuffs again.

“It’s going to go just fine. Like it always does. This one’s just a bit more luxurious than usual, but nothing we haven’t done before”

She looked to the side as she huffed in frustration “But this one has a Police station right outside”

“We’ve done that too!”

“I don’t know, I just have a weird feeling about today.”

“The plan you guys came up with is just as good as the ones before, it’ll be fine!” you whispered the last part, tugging on her hand so she would look at you. Her jade eyes fixed on yours before she hugged you like she knew it would be the last time. Tight and long, and you hugged her back, naive as you were. Eventually she started to let go, only to stop and touch her forehead to yours. Your arms were around her waist, and hers had rested around your shoulders before she put one hand over your collarbone, and cupped your head with the other, just behind your ear. And then she leaned in to kiss you. Shy and sweet, her lips barely touched yours before Jasper shouted from underneath, making you two separate at once.

“Girls we should leave in five”

You looked at her, surprise etched all over your face, and she grabbed the apple and made for the elevator, not looking at you at all while it descended.

Then all of you left for the store, separating a couple streets before getting there. You would be the first to get in and the last to leave. Then Estella and Horace, and Jasper at last.

You'd barely paid attention to where you were walking, it was impossible with all those thoughts on your mind. If you hadn't slammed head first into some lady on the street you would have just kept on walking, not realising you'd missed the store already. You turned back around and got into the store, taking your sunglasses off as you did.

You tried very hard to keep a cool appearance, but distress was all you could convey. At this hour, the store was it's busiest, since it would be easier to get things done in the chaos. You tried to melt into the crowd until Estella and Horace walked in, their arms linked together.

You looked everywhere but at them. That was probably one of the reasons why everything went to shit. That and the fact that the Police saw you slam into the woman before getting in, they had an eye on you already.

They went on with the plan, started to talk to an employee the moment Jasper walked in. As Estella said her lines, as convincing as always, Jasper bumped into people to get their wallets, stole things from displays and what-not.

"Well, my husband here came to buy this watch the other day, but I just don't think it matches his eyes. I would very much like to see other options." she said.

You pretended to study a particularly ugly watch, just because it was the one that was displayed with the clearest view to where the pair of them stood.

"Oh absolutely not, that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen." and she went on, saying every watch was ugly, or wouldn't go well with his complexion, buying Jasper the time he needed for the employee to be distracted.

As it was getting time to leave Jasper went to you, as planned, dropped his findings onto your open bag and left. Estella said her last lines, ending the show with a banger.

"Well honey, you picked the lousiest watch store in England, I'm afraid this won't do."

"Ma'am, this company has been selling watches for nearly three centuries! We make watches for the royal family! There isn't any other company with comparable quality!" said the employee, offended.

"I'm afraid that the royal family's standards might be shamefully low. Now, I would like the money back for this watch. We are not keeping it, I might be ill if I have to look at it again."

And the employee begrudgingly gave them the money, so upset that there was no opportunity to check that the watch was real at all, and not a replica.

They left with no troubles, the mission had gone perfectly smoothly until then. And besides your twitchy behaviour, nothing else would have gone wrong if you hadn't messed up at the last moment.

You were forced to run. And so you did. It wouldn’t be until a few years later, under different names, that you would find her again.

|| Masterlist || ... who have you become? || Wattpad Link || AO3 Link ||

if you want to be tagged for part 2 or future works please let me know!(and tell me which) please don't forget to eat and drink water, and stay safe :)

[i-am-dulaman]

[long post]

So the other night I was talking to the most insufferable first year business student who insisted trickle down economics was great. He for some reason was, in the middle of a night club, trying to convince me we need more tax cuts for the rich.

Anyway, ignoring that, he has annoyed me into finally doing the research into something called a worker cooperative which has been in the back of my mind for a while now.

So a worker cooperative is essentially a company which is owned by the people who work there. They either elect their own management or, for smaller firms, make management decisions democratically, and they all share in the profits. This is opposed to consumer cooperatives where the business is owned by its customers.

So with that in mind there are two things you need to know:

New Zealand is the only post-industrialized country whose agricultural sector has grown, and its the fastest growing sector of the NZ economy. 

5 of the largest agriculture businesses in NZ are cooperatives, including Fonterra, NZ’s largest company which accounts for ONE THIRD of the ENTIRE WORLDS dairy trade.

Now none of those agriculture companies are actually true worker cooperatives, they’re usually only owned partly by their workers and not all workers have a stake in the company either. For example Fonterra is owned by 11000 of its dairy farmers but has over 10000 other employees who are not owners. But it’s close enough.

So is it a coincidence the best performing sector of the NZ economy is dominated by cooperatives? I have no idea. im just looking at the numbers. But its an interesting correlation.

Worker cooperatives are actually very rare in the world, but there has been some research done on them, particularly in Italy and France and here are some highlights:

They are much more resilient, with the chance of shutting down in its first 3 years of operation between 30% and 50% lower than normal companies when fully controlled for industry/size/etc. 

During the 2008 recession, worker cooperatives in france saw a 4% increase in employment while the unemployment rate in france rose by 0.7%

Salaries were slightly lower on average in France however other studies also showed salaries being slightly higher. This is likely due to the pay distribution, where the CEOs salary will be much lower in a cooperative compared to a CEO in a normal company, thus bringing down the average.

Cooperatives are 6-14% more productive

Employees are much more committed to their work

So in other words, they work.

What’s more is it keeps the profits of the company in the local economy, with all the money going to the workers, instead of shareholders who could be anywhere in the world and would likely just put the money into savings.

However the main draw back is it is hard to get the startup funds to start new companies. Most companies of course start off small with only a handful of workers which means each would need to invest a significant amount of their own money. But I’ll address this problem further below.

Anyway so what’s my point here?

Make every company a worker cooperative by law. That’s my point. Not a 100% worker cooperative, but a law that makes every single company in NZ pay its employees 50% of its profits, on top of their regular salaries.

Now im not an economist so idk anything about this subject. I’m just a socialist who has worked for the government before so i know how inefficient true communism can be when the government owns every business, but i have also worked in a private business that could afford to pay everyone an extra $250,000 but instead gives 1 billion dollars to our australian owners and kept us short staffed and underequiped.

so i wanted an alternative, and this is what i’ve come up with just fooling around with numbers and hypotheticals.

So I would love to see an actual economists take on this, not that i expect to find one on tumblr lol i’m just writing this here cause idk where else to write my thoughts.

So why only 50% of profits instead of 100%?

I think compromise is important. Every revolution failed because of a lack of compromise. revolutionaries pushed the revolution further and further to the extreme which pushed away moderates and sparked counter-revolutionaries. Keeping it to 50% means maybe more moderates will be on board. Keeping it to 50% also means investors are still motivated to invest and receive returns, which solves the biggest problem with worker cooperatives.

I’ve gone and looked at 40 of the largest companies (by revenue, number of employees, or net profit) in NZ, and calculated what it would look like if they paid their employees 50% of their profits evenly. These companies represent about 10% of the NZ workforce.

Note that some companies can literally afford to pay ALL of their employees HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of dollars and still keep 50% of their profits. One can even afford to make every single one of its employees a millionaire. (also note that some of this data is even from 2020/2021 with covid severely damaging the economy)

This averages out to $28000 per person. The median income of NZ is $53,000, so that would mean a sudden 52% increase in salary on average.

Not for nothing, it would also lead to an enormous amount of money in circulation, as people with more money will buy more things, and give the economy a massive boost. (The opposite of trickle down economic. Suck it first year business dude.)

I think a law like this would provide a sudden and drastic redistribution of wealth.

And i think it’s worth the time/brainpower of someone who knows more about economics than me.

[serenata-your-neighborhood-lefty]

2020 and what we should remember for the years to come

It’s New Years Day and what a ride it’s been. Many people’s immediate sentiment will be to put 2020 behind us. But we can’t do that. Forgiving and forgetting is what caused this shitstorm in the first place. 

Let’s review. 

The year started with the Australian bushfires, brought on by the continued carbon emissions and the lack of efforts to reduce them. Climate change has been sidelined again and again because investing in our future will change the status quo that benefits corporations in the now. Politicians either outright deny it, or downplay it, or give vague and unenforceable promises that they do not act upon. Why? Because the same system that allows corporations to spew carbon into the atmosphere also rewards them financially (and extremely generously) for that, which in turn allows them to buy out politicians - meaning that the same people who can most effectively tackle climate change are also in the pockets of those that cause it. 

After that warm-up act, the main event: COVID. We didn’t really think much of it at first, as it was just some virus confined to some small corner of the earth a million miles away - nothing to worry about, right? Well it reached the US and Europe, and we were totally unprepared. We didn’t have masks and gloves and respirators stockpiled, and we had already gutted public scientific research and pandemic response teams in the name of “budgeting” and austerity. Once again, capitalism chose profit over human life. Instead of sending out more supplies and support, the US president said it would “disappear” and played golf while people were dying. He opposed shutdowns and mask mandates, he did not support economic relief, he did not support pausing rent and evictions. Congress bailed out the biggest businesses, the people who make money off of the suffering of others. And so while millions of workers were forced back to work and the risk of death, the wealthy retreated to their second or third homes in the countryside and happily refreshed the browsers on their stock portfolios, healthy as ever thanks to the CARES Act. 

And then we came to BLM. Massive protests sparked by the murder of a man who did not deserve to die, someone who was racially profiled and killed by the police on the streets of Minneapolis. Police brutality was thrust to the forefront: some became aware, and others were painfully reminded, that black people have to be constantly cautious of the people who are meant to protect us. That a large segment of the population live under threat of being shot in their own house, just for an improperly conducted police raid with some trigger-happy cops. All of this boiled over and become one of the biggest ever campaigns against police violence and systemic racism -  the civil rights movement of our time. 

So, at the end of this year, we come out as world primed for repair, and in dire need of it too. There will always be those for whom profit is everything, and the lives of workers and minorities mean little. But there are also those who want to see a better world for everyone, and I think it’s safe to count all my readers among them. We must look at the last year and learn from it, and remember what happened over these past 12 months and what caused it, and use it to right the wrongs perpetrated on the vast majority of people for benefit of the few. I’m full of hope that we can accomplish anything when we’re inspired, persistent and organised. The next decade belongs to us. Happy New Year comrades <3 

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[slafkovskys]

the way you do / t. emberson

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

my masterlist!

title from fireproof by one direction

warning(s): swear words, mentions of a concussion, jealousy, accusations of cheating, also written in a no covid world :)

word count: 5.8k

-

you cheer along with only a portion of the crowd as the goal horn sounds, signaling what you knew was the first and last point of the night for wisconsin. while david gets to work on updating the instagram account from his spot beside you, your fingers rapidly type out a tweet to send out that would update the people who were following along there.

badgers are on the board thanks to tyler inamoto! the score is 3-1 arizona state with 0:10 left in the third period

“what are you doing after this?” david asks, looking back out onto the ice while you start a new tweet, just in case something were to happen in the next ten seconds. “i’m sure we can find some bar to sneak into. are you up for it?”

“i don’t know,” you sigh, focusing on the opposing team’s player as he takes the puck and shoots down the ice, attempting to beat the buzzer. you frown when the horn sounds, signaling the end of the game and a win for arizona, which you quickly update on. “it’s my turn to do the interviews and i don’t know how long that’s gonna take. i always have to chase someone down and i also said that i would help cole with his biology, but i think that’s going to be a plane ride home priority.”

“well, at least they’re all going to be in the same place for at least the next twelve hours or so. it shouldn’t be that hard to find who you want,” david stands up and you follow suit, making sure that you have your phone in your back pocket before following him towards the locker room. “besides, they like you more than they like me. you’ve got that midwestern charm and i’ve got an annoying southern accent.”

“your accent is not annoying. tell me who told you that it was and i will gladly humble them,” you look at the younger boy who smiles.

it was no secret that the boys were more acquainted with you rather than david as you had two years on him. while you were a senior, david was only a sophomore starting out with the team. this was your third year with them and you had taken him under your wing because he was going to be taking over for you next year when you were gone.

you make your way through the arena, taking a route that was closed off to the general public to make it back to the locker room to catch the boys before they got caught up in granato’s post-game speech.

“who am i talking to tonight?” you mumble to yourself as you tug at your bottom lip. you look up at david who was leaning against the wall across from you, “do you remember who i talked to last week? don’t look at me like that. so much has happened between now and then…”

“trouble in paradise?” he’s quick to joke, but the look that you send him causes the smile to drop from his face. his eyes widen, “please tell me-”

“we haven’t broken up, if that’s what you were going to say,” you look back down at your computer screen and shrug, “it’s just- he’s been acting weird since we landed. he’s so touchy and, yeah, we’ve had our moments. hell, we were long distance for two years, but this is- it’s just weird.”

“i mean, i’ve never been in a serious relationship, but you definitely need to talk to him. you’ve been together too long to let it fizzle out. you’re the only couple that i can tolerate,” he rolls his eyes and you send him a grin. “it’s true. you and ty are, like, royalty at wisconsin. i’m pretty sure that you’re the couple that has been together the longest.”

“maybe second longest. i met a girl last year who had been with her boyfriend for six years and we’ve only been together for five, so they have us beat,” you leave out the fact that both of them graduated last summer.

the boys trickle back quietly. you give them a moment to get settled before taking a deep breath and walking towards the entrance. you peek your head in and granato spots you immediately, waving you inside. “you’ve been spared for two minutes, boys. listen to the lady and don’t give her a hard time.”

you send him a nod in thanks before looking out over the room. you had all of their attention except for one and it was the person who you cared the most for. you send a soft smile as your eyes scan the room, “i don’t love any of you any less. you played a great game boys and you’re going to kill it tomorrow.”

“did you get any more stickers?” owen asks and you turn to look at him.

“i did, actually, but you can blame your captain for stealing them all before i could distribute them,” you look back at ty who looks at you with a cold look. you swallow the lump in your throat and quickly look towards the other ty who speaks up.

“do you think you could find those dinosaur ones again? those were badass.”

“i still have mine on my water bottle!”

“i missed the dinosaur pack.”

“that’s why you have to score, mike.”

yes, you were aware of how childish the stickers were. you used them as an incentive so that when they came to talk to you, they got to pick a sticker. the boys enjoyed them and even stuck them on their equipment sometimes when they could get away with it.  

“okay, back on track,” you look down at your computer. you tap your nails on the keypad before clicking your tongue, “i need to see tyler, roman, and brock’s brother-”

“hey!” cole shouts from beside you while your joke provokes some of the boys to laugh.

“just keeping you humble, caufield,” you wink and he rolls his eyes, sinking back into his stall. you shake your head, “i’m not going to make you talk to me tonight because honestly, i’m drained and i know all of you are too. but please do come find me during breakfast tomorrow because i do have deadlines that i have to meet and that’s stretching it far enough. if you decide that you want to be mean and not come, i will be even meaner and snitch and you can find yourself being worked overtime in practice. are we clear, gentlemen?”

“yes ma’am!”

“thank you and good night,” you wave your hand around as you exit the room, shaking your head at the claps that followed you out. you and david gather your things and head toward the bus, knowing very well that it would be a while before the boys would begin to file out. you flop down in your seat and sigh, “one down, one to go.”

even though it wasn’t often, you loved when you got the opportunity to go on road trips. you usually got to go on the ones that were just bus trips, but it was a rare occasion when you got to go on trips that had to be made by plane. once or twice during the season, however, you got to pick a trip that you wanted to come on and this year you had picked arizona. before ty had gotten drafted, you had never been nor had you ever really wanted to go to the state. after coming to see ty during his first development camp, you had pretty much fallen in love with it and had taken every opportunity to come and visit since.

“your future home,” david chuckles and you roll your eyes. “what? do you know something that i don’t?”

“there’s a lot of things that i can’t talk about, david and those that pertain to my boyfriend’s future career are ones that are at the top of the list. you aren’t getting any insider news from me, buddy,” you point an accusatory finger and he holds his hands up in surrender.  

“you could be my anonymous source?” he suggests, smirking when you flip him off.

it’s relatively quiet for the next half hour until the doors of the bus open and the boys start stumbling on. you close your laptop and leave it on the empty seat that ty usually occupied and stand up, pushing your way to the front. brock pats your head as he passes and you shove an elbow into his side, “dick.”

“he’s in a mood, princess. tread lightly.”

his warning makes you raise an eyebrow. you don’t have time to ask what he meant before ty rounds the corner. shay moves to the side to let you step off of the bus and you send him a grin. you meet ty in the middle, wrapping your arms around his neck, “i‘m proud of you.”

“are you?” he spits. his hands stay glued to his sides and you pull away, dropping your own. “cole’s on his way. wouldn’t you rather see him instead?”

“what are you talking about?”

“you seem to be real fucking close these days. you’re with him more than you’re with me, so is it wrong for me to just assume that you’re fucking him too?” your mouth gapes at his words.

“are you accusing me of cheating on you?” you lower your voice, very aware of his teammates that could definitely hear your conversation. he shrugs his shoulders, crossing his arms over his chest. “i know how you get after losses, but for you to go as far as to accuse me of cheating on you with a member of your team-”

“it’s fucking obvious, y/n. you’re so flirty with each other, sitting next to each other on the plane, and that shit in the locker room. i’m not oblivious.”

“fuck you, dude. i have given up so much for you and the fact that you can stand there and accuse me of doing that to you after everything that we’ve been through over the last five years, makes me wonder if it was even worth it.” you turn on your heel and march towards the bus, leaving him standing there looking shocked. you make your way up the stairs and the bus goes quiet as they stare at you, obviously having heard what happened outside. you swallow, “i’m sorry about that.”

you make your way back to your seat and grab your computer, propping your feet on the empty seat and shrinking against the window. the tears threaten to spill out from your eyes, but you don’t let them. once everyone is accounted for, the bus pulls away from the arena and heads for the hotel.

you run your fingers against your temples, trying to soothe the headache that had developed in the last five minutes. you could feel eyes on you and you look up to find jack sitting in the row of seats beside you. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, “please don’t.”

you grab your phone and quickly go to your messages, finding david’s contact and shooting your fingers across the screen quickly:

do you still feel like going out??

we have curfew

and after what just happened it doesn’t seem like a good idea

curfew is midnight and it’s not even ten yet. we’ll have a couple hours and after what just happened, going out seems like a great idea

are you in or not? because i’m going even if i have to go alone

let me go to my room first and i’ll meet you in the lobby

-

when you woke up the next morning, you were still tired. you had barely slept and the last thing you remembered before you were able to slip into unconsciousness was the sun slowly starting to peek through the window of your hotel room.

it took a few seconds for it to register that someone was pounding on your door. with a grunt, you throw the sheets away from your body and stumble towards the door. you look out of the peephole and your stomach sinks at who is standing on the other side. you undo the deadbolt and pull it open, “you should not be here.”

“don’t worry, he’s the one who sent me here. he also sent this and,” he pulls out a bouquet from behind his back, “these.”

“that’s not going to make me forgive him,” you shake your head and accept the flowers and the coffee cup from cole anyway, gesturing for him to come inside.

“believe me, we all told him that,” cole takes a seat on the spare bed and you look at him with a confused gaze. he raises an eyebrow, “y/n, you have the entire hockey team behind you. we’ve been giving him hell all night. dom even bunked with brock and jack in protest. also, i’m pretty sure that coach found out and brought him back down to earth, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

“did he-” you can’t even say it.

“no, he didn’t lose the c, but coach was very adamant that what happened was not captain behavior and that he’s on very thin ice,” he pauses for a minute and then grins, “ha, thin ice.”

you shake your head and lean against the desk in the corner of the room, “that’s good then.”

“he accused you of cheating on him and you’re worried about his letter status?”

“you don’t understand, cole,” he looks at you in a way that says ‘well, help me understand.’ you sigh, “we’ve been together since we were sixteen and seventeen years old. we’ve known each other even longer. i’ve watched him work his ass off and sacrifice so much to get where he is. the thought of him losing that over him saying some dumbass thing because he was pissed off breaks my heart in more ways than one. do i think that he’s an absolute asshole right now? absolutely. do i want to look at him? not really. but i still love him, cole. and i always will.”

he looks at you for a second before he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, “really tugged on the heartstrings there, y/n. love is a crazy thing.”

“indeed it is. now get out of my room. i need to get ready for the day and i’m slightly hungover and hotel breakfast food sounds amazing right now,” you follow him towards the door.

“oh and just so we’re clear,” he shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he faces you, “i made it very clear that you are way too old for me.”

you shove his shoulder, “considering that he’s the only exception for dating someone younger than me, you are way too young for me, cole caufield.”

“glad that we have an understanding,” he holds up his hand and you smack yours against it. with a grin, he makes his way towards the elevator and you close the door behind him.

you take your time getting ready, trying to hide the fact that you were recovering from a little too much alcohol you had practically inhaled at some bar downtown the night before that you couldn’t even remember the name of. you make sure all of your things are gathered and together because you knew that you wouldn’t want to do it when you returned.

you grab the things that you would need for the game and head downstairs. you walk into the conference room that had been set aside for the team and immediately head to grab your food. once your plate was piled high, you turn to find an empty and immediately your eyes lock with his. just by looking at him, you can tell that he hadn’t slept and even if he did, it wasn’t much.

your attention is pulled away from him by a shout of your name. owen is waving you over and shay is pointing at an empty seat, “we called dibs on you this morning.”

“too soon, lindy,” robbie shakes his head as you take the seat between owen and dylan. he looks at you concerned, “you good?”

“don’t worry about me boys. you have a game to win today and that’s what you should be focused on,” you try and distract them but none of them are buying what you’re trying to sell. you twist the cap off your water and take a sip before grabbing your fork, “seriously boys, i appreciate your concern, but i’m okay. i promise.”

“if you want us to beat him up for you, just say the word,” dylan offers and the table agrees. you raise an eyebrow, “we discussed it last night and we also have first dibs on defending your honor if you asked us to.”

“his roommates are next in line,” ryder points his fork at you and you smile.

“i’m glad to know that you would beat up your captain for me, boys.”

“he may be captain, but no one disrespects our y/n and gets away with it. who would give us stickers then?”

“we can’t have anything because of you, shay. she’s more than just the damn stickers.”

three o’clock comes quick and before you know it, you’re making your way down the tunnel to cheer for them as they come out, just as you always did. you clap as they line up in front of you. you avoid looking at him until you feel a tap on your ankle. you look down just in time to see a hockey stick being pulled away. you look up to find its owner staring right back at you, apologetically.

he nods his head, “i love you.”

“i love you too, twenty-one. don’t do anything stupid,” you cross your arms over your chest and give him your best ‘i’m not joking look.’ it was part of the routine that you two had developed over the last couple of years, and even though there was still some obvious tension between the two of you that had yet to be resolved, he hadn’t missed his chance to continue it.

he chuckles right as the announcer booms to the crowd to welcome them to the ice, “no promises.”

you watch as they file out, the cheers for them were not as loud as they were when you were on home ice, but you made sure to scream as loud as always. you and david make quick work of getting to your seats and he wasted no time in sending you a look, “are you-”

“we haven’t talked yet, no. we probably won’t even have time until we’re back home, but just because he’s being an asshole doesn’t mean i love him any less,” you defend yourself and he hums, looking out onto the ice.

when they get in position for puck drop, an uneasy feeling develops in your stomach. you try not to think about it as the puck hits the ice and the game begins, but unfortunately, it didn’t last long.

it was some freshman lineman known for being a menace. he’d been practically on top of ty every time that he got on the ice, shoving him when he didn’t have the puck, almost tripping him once, and of course, the refs were in their own little worlds and hadn’t called a penalty for anything.

eight minutes into the game was when it happened and when it happened, it happened quickly. you barely had time to blink before their gloves were off and their hands were tangled in each other’s jerseys. you stand up, watching as your boyfriend loses the upper hand quickly. in a matter of seconds, his helmet is somehow knocked off and he’s hitting the ice and-

he’s not moving.

“get the fuck up ty,” your hand covers your mouth as the trainers rush out onto the ice after they pull the guy off of him. you can see on the screen that he’s smirking as he’s led off the ice and down their tunnel. david grabs onto your arm as you stumble, “please get up baby.”

“y/n,” he says, but you don’t respond.

you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding when ty moves, taking a minute before he gets up with a lot of help from the trainers. you watch as he’s led off the ice and you swallow at the blood on his jersey. you turn towards david, “i have to-”

“go, babe. i can cover this. go check on him,” that was all that you needed before you scoot out of your row and quickly make your way down the stairs.

you wind up outside the locker room where you're stopped by a security guard. you hold up your badge that showed that you had permission to be there, but he gave you a disapproving look as he shakes his head. you pull out your phone, but anna walks out just in time, “anna!”

“i was just coming to get you,” she sighs, glaring at the security guard as he finally lets you pass. she wraps a hand around your arm as she leads you back to the room, “we’re pretty sure he has a minor concussion at least. paul’s giving him a check-up now and he’s going to decide what to do from there.”

“has he said anything?” you ask, mind running wild as it thinks of the worst.

“the only thing he asked for, even when he came to, was he wanted to see his wife. i told him that you weren’t married, but he wouldn’t hear it. it was just ‘my wife, my wife, my wife’ and that’s why i was coming to get you. he said if he has to go to the hospital or anything, he’s not going if you’re not there with him,” she says and you take a deep breath. she squeezes your arm as you stop outside of the closed door, “just don’t be too loud. he’s very sensitive to light and noise right now.”

“of course,” you nod and she opens the door. the lights were dimmed just a little, but you still easily spot him in the middle of the bed. paul stands beside him, checking on him while he sits up. he pulls away from paul’s hands and moves to get up, but you quickly get to his side, placing your hand on his shoulder and grabbing his hand, “don’t move, ty. let him do what he needs to do.”

“baby,” he whimpers and you squeeze his hand, pulling it up to your mouth and pressing a kiss to the skin. throughout the entire process, he doesn’t let go. he answers what he’s asked and when paul moves away, he pulls you close, “baby.”

“i know. i’m sorry,” you wrap your arm around his neck and press a soft kiss to the side of his head when he tucks his face into your neck.

“the good news is that i don’t think that you need to go to the emergency room,” paul announces, leaning against a table backed against the wall. he looks at the two of you, “but i don’t feel comfortable sending you back out there. you’ve got a minor concussion and if they aren’t treated right, they can go bad quick.”

“i know,” he says, squeezing your hip.

“so, what do we need to do?” you ask.

“i’m gonna see if i can get the bus to drop you guys back off at the hotel. he needs rest right now and it’ll be hard to get that in this environment,” he shakes his head, “who are you rooming with, ty?”

he winces at the sound of a muffled goal horn and you answer for him, “mersch.”

“if i give you a list of what to do, do you think that you can watch over him?”

“of course,” you nod and ty shifts.

“great. i know that he’s not supposed to be in your room after certain hours, but i think that coach will agree with me that in these circumstances, it’s necessary,” he says and you hum.

after he tells you the basics and makes sure that you have his phone number if you need something, you pull away from ty, “i’m gonna go and grab you some clothes, okay? i know you don’t want to be in that on the bus.”

“please don’t go,” he pleads, holding onto your hand as you go to step away. “you’re gonna leave me because of what i said.”

you look at paul briefly who looks concerned. at least there was someone who was out of the loop.

you shake your head and rub at his cheek, “no, baby. i’m coming back i promise. i’m just gonna go get your clothes from the locker room that’s right across the hall.”

“i’ll come with you,” he insists, moving to stand up.

both you and paul are quick to push him back down as gently as possible. paul pats his chest, “you can stay here with me big guy. i still have a couple of questions for you.”

hesitantly, he lets your hand go as you promise him once more that you were coming back. you make your way across the hall and find his stall, digging through his things to find some clothes for him that were not his suit.

once you find some sweats and a hoodie, you turn on your heel just as the boys start to file in. jack is the first to speak up, “is he okay?”

“minor concussion and as of right now, he doesn’t need to go to the emergency room, but paul’s pulling him for the game. i think we’re getting sent to the hotel where he’s going to be on mandatory rest until he gets checked on again before we leave tomorrow. so, please, i love you all so much and he does too, but just let him sleep. we don’t want this to turn into something major,” you give them all pleading eyes and they all nod.

you walk back across the hall to find coach talking with paul and ty laying back on the bed. instantly, he reaches out for you. granato looks at you, “you’re going to make sure he’s okay?”

“i’m going to try my best,” you assure him and he nods.

“i trust you a hell of a lot more than i trust mersch when it comes to these types of things,” he looks over to ty and pats his leg, “the bus is taking you two back to the hotel where you’re going to rest, got it?”

“yes sir,” he mumbles, eyes closed.

granato and paul leave the room as ty gets dressed. he does need some assistance and when he’s finally out of his gear, he sighs, “i never realized how extensive all of that was.”

“tell me about it,” you mumble. you look at him, “are you ready? do you think that you can get to the bus?”

“if you’ll go slow. you always walk so fast,” he complains and you grin. he throws an arm over your shoulder and you wrap an arm around his waist. you walk out of the door and he pauses, looking into the locker room, “can i-”

“you’ve probably got a minute or two before they have to go back,” you say and he nods. with help from you, he limps over to the doorway and the room goes quiet.

“boys,” he says, standing in front of you, but reaching out behind him for your hand. you take it and squeeze, “what’s the score?”

“we’re leading with one,” the other ty says and he nods. “you good, cap?”

“minor concussion, nothing i can’t handle. plus, i’ve got a good babysitter for tonight,” he turns to look at you with a grin and you send a small smile back. “win it, boys. don’t worry about me, just win.”

“tough speech, eh?” dom calls and some of the boys chuckle.

“did you miss the part about the concussion?” ty asks and dom rolls his eyes. “love you boys.”

there’s an echo of his admission before you finally began the trek to the bus. you take up a row in the middle, ty taking the seat by the window and resting his head on your shoulder. you trace the veins on his hand as the bus takes you back to the hotel, the entire trip spent in silence.

once you get him inside your hotel room, he wastes no time crawling into bed. he looks at you hopefully, “will you lay with me?”

“let me get out of these jeans,” you find a pair of shorts and a too-big t-shirt that belonged to him at some point before you slip in beside him.

he presses himself to your chest and you card your fingers through his hair, “i’m sorry about what i said, y/n.”

“not now, ty. you need to rest.”

he sighs, but he doesn’t argue. it wasn’t long before his breathing evens out and he goes limp against you, leaving you to your thoughts.

-

“rise and shine,” you mumble, poking at his cheek. he groans, curling his fingers in the fabric of your t-shirt as he shakes his head. “baby, you have to get up every few hours. aren’t you hungry?”

“do you have food?” he asks, not opening his eyes.

“i can order some, but you have to tell me what you want. i can’t read your mind,” he rolls over then, stretching his arms out over his head. “how do you feel?”

“my head hurts and my body’s sore,” he says. “i didn’t break anything, did i?”

“do you think that you did?” you raise your eyebrows, ready to reach for your phone to call paul.

“no, no, i just- i remember hitting the ice and not much else after. i remember when i came to that anna was standing over me and i wanted you, but you weren’t there. i was looking for you in the stands, but i couldn’t find you. i- i thought that you were gone.”

“i was there ty. they just moved our seats tonight because someone had those already. i’m not leaving, i would never leave,” you assure him, running your hand along his cheek. “we don’t need to talk about this right now. you need to eat and rest-”

“i want to talk about it though. it’s been eating me up inside ever since i said it,” he looks at you pleadingly and you sigh. “i was an ass.”

“you were,” you agree and he chuckles. “the thing is, it’s not even really so much that you think that i would do that to you. yes, it obviously hurt, but it’s more so the fact that you would do it in public. the entire team heard you.”

“i know and believe me, i’ve already had my ass chewed out about it by everyone in that locker room, and i mean everyone. you have an entire hockey team behind your back on this one.”

“they told me. they’re also forming a line to beat you up if i needed them to which is nice,” you smile. it’s quiet for a moment before you speak again, “why did you do it? that’s what i want to know.”

“because i was angry. i was angry about the game last night and i saw you and cole. i know you’re just friends and that you’ve been helping him with his school stuff or whatever, but when you were on the plane, you were just so giggly or whatever. than that in the locker room-”

“we were just playing around, ty. he’s literally like my little brother.”

“and i know that. he made it very clear last night that you are too old for him.”

“we have an understanding,” ty presses his lips to your shoulder and you swallow. “i’m still mad at you. i forgive you, but i’m still mad.”

“you have every right to be. what i said was out of line and uncalled for, i’m surprised that you’re talking to me right now,” he chuckles, wincing as he presses his fingers to the side of his head. “oh yeah, that’s why.”

“i can’t give you anything for another couple of hours. ‘m sorry, love,” you push his hair away from his face.

“can i ask you something?” he asks and you hum. “last night, you said that you’ve given up so much to be with me and i don’t doubt that you have, i know that you have, but is there something that you’re not telling me.”

“it’s not important,” you shake your head.

he sits up then, staring down at you, “what is it, y/n?”

“do you- um, do you remember when i applied for that internship for digital marketing the summer after you graduated? after my freshman year?” you ask, pushing yourself up and scooting back against the headboard.

“yeah, you didn’t get it,” he looks at you confused. you look down at your hands and he takes a deep breath, “y/n, you didn’t-”

“they wanted me to fly to new york on draft weekend and i explained that i couldn’t then, but i could on monday. i wasn’t going to miss hearing your name being called or watching you put on that jersey, ty. they told me if i couldn’t be there on that saturday to just not bother,” you explain, “and instead of getting on a plane to new york, i got on one for dallas with you.”

“that would’ve given you so many opportunities, y/n. why would you do that?”

“because i love you and we’d been talking about it for years, you getting drafted. there was no way in hell i was going to miss it,” you shrug. “it’s fine though. i got the hockey gig and now we spend an almost unhealthy amount of time together so-”

“but that would’ve been so much better for you. you could’ve gone anywhere with that. europe, australia, anywhere. working for a college hockey team won’t look as good on job applications as that internship would have.”

“it’s in the past now. don’t worry about it. i’m happy where i am,” he reaches out for your hand and you curl your fingers around his. “wherever you are, that’s where i’m happy. fuck new york, europe, australia, or wherever. wisconsin is good for me right now. me and you, that’s all that matters.”

“it’s me and you, baby,” he mumbles and you smile, “me and you against the world, just like we’ve always said.”

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Bianca Bosch, The Kissing Booth 2

Bianca made her feature film debut in Netflix’s global hit franchise The Kissing Booth as the flirtatious and fun-loving Olivia, leader of The OMG’s, which she reprised in The Kissing Booth 2. She will next appear in the third installment of the franchise—The Kissing Booth 3, slated to debut in 2021. Born and raised on the eastern cape of South Africa, Bianca started ballet at just four years old and trained and competed in high-level contemporary dance until she was 19. A small role in a production of Evita solidified her passion for bringing characters to life, which she followed to The New York Film Academy and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Bianca is passionate about giving back to her local communities in St. Frances Bay and Port Elizabeth, South Africa, and hopes to inspire women of all ages and from all walks of life to go after their dreams and heal those who need it, with strength, wisdom, and empathy.

What do you find exciting about portraying Olivia?

When people first meet me, they always sum me up as the bubbly, dramatic, ditzy blonde, and don’t anticipate my intellectual aptitude. They also soon realise that I’m super laid back, easy-going, and value a great sense of humour. Many people always say my exterior doesn’t match the interior. With portraying Olivia, I got to push those qualities that people assume I am at face value, as well as those mannerisms that come naturally to me, but are actually far from who I really am. It was so much fun living in that heightened, exaggerated bubble. 

Can you tell us anything about Olivia’s development between the first and third installments of The Kissing Booth? 

Being the “it girl” of the school, Olivia knows all the gossip going down and will not let any information slip past her because she is the ring leader, and has to have a first peek at any potential. As the story evolves, you see a softer, more supportive side to her, for example, when she cheers on Ollie and Miles as they have their first kiss at the kissing booth.

Which character from The Kissing Booth do you personally identify with most, and why?

I identify mostly with Elle. Navigating relationships can be hard and confusing, especially when the person you love lives far away. Having faith in your relationship and in yourself is important, but not always easy. I have been through those doubts and dilemmas. At the end of the day, communication and respect are vital to making a long-distance relationship work.

Alongside acting, you train in Vinyasa Yoga and Reiki, while also running a lighting/interior design business called MOODMAKERS. How do you cope with wearing so many hats? 

I’ve got to keep up with my lifestyle somehow! Obviously, with acting, you’re not always employed and shooting. You might constantly be auditioning, but it’s been said that you book 1 in 25 auditions—so in between, someone has to pay the bills! Why not incorporate jobs that are already a part of my daily routine and always will be?! Plus, I find that the busier I am, the more I actually get done. Educating and practicing Reiki and Vinyasa yoga are more hobbies than jobs for me; plus, they all coincide with wellbeing and creativity.

Do you have any advice for young women who would like to become entrepreneurs themselves? 

You have to think about your individual strengths and potentially use those to fill a gap in the market by providing a good or service. In my case, it was a product, in the form of a portable light. The opportunity in South Africa was the inconvenience of load shedding, which refers to rolling blackouts that occur due to the lack of electricity in our country. My father is an interior designer, so being surrounded by design my whole life sparked the idea to provide a stylish solution with portable, rechargeable lamps.

How do your experiences as a dancer influence your acting work? 

I feel very in tune with my body, and every character needs their own physicality. So it helps me to sink into and develop the character’s mannerisms. Not only is it great for keeping correct alignment while staying physical, but also it provides discipline through general practice.

You engage in charity work in your hometown, can you tell us a bit about that?

Well, recently, with COVID-19, volunteer work has changed with social distancing in place. I believe charity starts at home, and home for me is in Saint Francis Bay. So, we’ve shifted focus to the local townships’ impoverished areas. We coordinated and prepared meals once a week and delivered them to the local soup kitchen for as many residents as possible. After going there each week and seeing the living conditions, and how excited these families were for their meals, I felt guilty but also so appreciative to come home and live the life I do.

How do you practice being an ally, and what does your allyship mean to you? 

It means being a part of something bigger than yourself. My mission statement is to inspire young girls to go after their dreams, not only through my own actions and successes but also by mentoring them in person where possible. Being an ally also means being committed to educating myself on struggles that differ from my own experience and standing up for others in unjust situations.

How can mental and physical wellbeing and self-care help to sustain creative work? 

I think physicality, mental health, and self-care are as vital as working on your acting skills. This career path takes dedication and perseverance. Keeping grounded in the madness and focused on your goal is crucial. This industry is tough on your body, especially when you’re working long hours on set or doing back-to-back night shoots. It’s not the usual 9-5 job. Plus, you want to be looking and feeling your best for the camera. You need to promote wellbeing for concentration and maximum performance. Having irregular sleeping patterns due to shooting schedules throws off your circadian rhythm, which can have a huge effect on your adrenals, which ultimately affects your skin, moods, and weight. You want to feed your body with the best nutrients, so when the tough times come, your immune system holds up strong. I generally tend to stick to a gluten-free + dairy-free diet and pump my body with loads of greens! Lean proteins and healthy fats! It’s so hard to say no to sugars, so when desperate, I try to go towards the natural sugars (honey, xylitol, etc.), because if I don’t, it results in inflammation and feeling sluggish. Also, I recommend loads of water to promote glowing skin and avoid water retention! Although this might all be beneficial for aesthetic reasons, it’s also preserving your body long-term for your career! Mental health is highly important, as this industry is mentally taxing when it comes to confidence and self-love. I practice meditation every day to promote self-worth and to help me stay grounded.

Describe each of the following in one word: who you are, what you value the most, and what you’d be if you were a food item. 

Who you are - Firecracker 

What you value most - Family 

What you’d be if you were a food item - Peach  

Thanks for taking the time, Bianca! The Kissing Booth 2 is now streaming on Netflix.

[synonymroll648]

Sorry if i have out any context i will do my best to answer any questions of yours in the least confusing way i can

Having a science olympiad fedex au dilemma. So, you see, i was part of a division b (basically middle school. There's a bit more to it than that but it's fine) team but then covid hit so i'm left not knowing how i should have everybody try out for the team because it isn't consistent.

Why would it ever be consistent?

So we've got three options 1. This was my first year's tryout. We took a test on 6th 7th and 8th grade science plus a /lot/ of bio. The only thing i specifically remember is that there was a cell diagram on there. I would scale that up for a div c (high school) setting with like chem and physics questions. Then i think the same day we took another test on like scientific reasoning. Like you get this table what's it telling you? Then the third test a couple of days later was basically you get this pile of materials to build something out of that would fulfill these requirements. All i remember is that there was a fan for those and i did not do well. There's a reason why i don't do buildits

2. This was my second year's tryout, a grand fucking total of a week before our first invitational. (That's not how that's supposed to work btw. I may have gotten a medal on one event but i did it the previous year so shush) Well that might've been our first practice but you get the idea. Basically the coach picked out 3 events and made a really easy practice test out of them. I know it was anatomy and physiology and reach for the stars (which is only a div b event, but astronomy in div c is very similar) but i can't remember the third one

3. Number three. I haven't actually done this yet but in like two weeks i can fact check this because this is how i've /heard/ it works. The callout's in a week and a half so i'll have more info then. I know there's a signup sheet thanks to the internet and I know you have to take a test on the events you want to be in but after that idk.

3 would probably be the most challenging for me while 2 would be pretty easy. Practice tests for scioly events exist, it's just a matter of googling for them. 3 would also probably be the best for the story so the readers get a feel for what fitz's and Dex's events are going to be like but then it's the game of do i have them try out for like 7 events each or just pretend like they'd only try out for 3 and then make it onto those 3 they wanted?

Thoughts?

ok, so. it sounds like 3 would be the least immersing, because you haven't done it before and you don't know how it works. as you said, you could google it and you'd probably be fine, but in writing, if you have personal experience you can draw from, you should. so i wouldn't do 3. which leaves 2 and 1.

it really just depends on how much buildup you want to fitz and dex getting in. (i assume they're both getting in, though there's definitely things you could do with one or both of them not getting in. i'll elaborate on those if you need me to, but for now, i'm gonna move back to the subject at hand.) 1 sounds like a good way to lay out fitz and dex's strengths and weaknesses when it comes to science pretty much straight out the gate, plus help your non-science-whiz readers figure out what's going on. potentially. depending on whether or not you include their thought processes and basic explanations of stuff 'cause i guarantee that a lot of your readers are gonna look at some things and go, 'i have no idea what the fuck that word means.' for some of their questions. 1 is truly the buildup-before-they-get-in option, if you want your readers to get to know them individually in this au before they dive into everything.

on the other hand, 2 sounds like the 'let's get this out of the way real fast so we can get to the plot' way of going about it. and here's the thing! that's honestly better a lot of the time! one of the main ways people fuck up their pacing in the beginning - which is the most crucial part to pace correctly, since you need to get readers hooked on the story and continue reading through your middle and ending - is by starting too early in the timeline. unless you're like, really good with pacing and stuff and you've been doing it for ages and you have it down under your belt, you want to start as close to the inciting incident of your story as soon as possible. taking too long to get to the good stuff will lose your readers. (remember that sokeefitz roadtrip fic snippet i submitted to tobi that was like. 1.4k words? i deleted that because it was starting too early in the timeline. i was dragging the pace too much. taking too long to get to the actual roadtrip. i restarted the story later in the timeline of events, and it's flowing much better now. if it were an original story, i'd jump even further in the timeline, but this is a fic and y'all like fluff so you're getting like. idk. 3-5k words of it? right off the bat? only because y'all are familiar with the characters already.) if you can explain all the science-y things some readers won't get as they're in events and their strengths and weaknesses and such after they get in, then you might want to! idk your plot outline, so i can't tell you if this is what you need, but i'd definitely consider it.

[mahek320]

Depression To Dementia?

With the Covid pandemic encompassing the entire world these past two years, it has become very clear that it has had many negative impacts on everyone's lives. Besides the very obvious ones,  one of the key effects of it has been a significant increase in cases of depression. In today's day and age, it seems like depression has almost been normalized. However, what many people do not realize is that depression often comes hand in hand with other mental illnesses, whether it be a symptom of them or simply accompany them. One of these mental illnesses may very well be dementia, a little nerve-wracking right?

But why? Well, there are a few possibilities as to how both depression and dementia may be linked. The first possibility is that depression is just simply a risk in developing dementia, just as certain foods and toxins create a risk of developing cancer. Another possibility is that depression is an actual symptom of dementia, pointing to its eventual onset. And the last possibility is that it is purely coincidental. To help support the thesis that depression may lead to dementia, a study was conducted over several years with Danish men with or without depression to truly understand if there really is a link between the two.

The way the study went about it was first to collect history of the patient's depression up until age 55. It was collected through primary and secondary diagnoses (ie. a diagnosis by a doctor vs. data on antidepressants). There were 3 main categories of depression within the patients: No history of depression, depression identified via medication, and depression identified via hospitalization. The severity was determined through the amount of the prescriptions along with the number of hospitalizations. After this process, the data on the men with dementia was collected. Again, the data was collected through primary and secondary diagnoses just as with depression. With all of this data, the study also identified potential confounders that could explain the link between depression and dementia, which they made sure to include in the analysis.

So what actually was the analysis and did it identify a true correlation? Well, four models of Cox proportional hazards regression, which is a “method for investigating the effect of several variables upon the time a specified event takes to happen”, in which the first model had no adjustments, the second model adjusted for social factors,, the third model adjusted for diseases, and the fourth model adjusted for addiction. Along with this, five supplementary analyses were conducted. The first took into account height and weight, the second was a sensitivity analysis which had more restrictions in reference to the temporality between measures of depression and dementia, the third only accounted to men with a psychiatric diagnosis, the fourth excluded men who were diagnosed/identified via medication, and the fifth used a propensity score to even the sample sizes of men with no depression vs men with hospitalization due to depression.

The results supported the link. Men without depression only had 1.2 cases of  dementia per 1000 people, 2.1 for men on medication, and 3.6 for men who had been hospitalized. So, this means that the risk of dementia was highest among men with the highest level of depression. In each of the four models with their adjustments, it was found that men who were hospitalized had higher cases of dementia within the population than men who were simply on anti-depressants, and both were higher than men without depression. However, there was one key difference between both of these situations. Although those who were hospitalized had a higher risk of developing dementia, the amount of times they were hospitalized had no significant link to it. On the other hand, those who took more prescribed medications did show a higher association to developing dementia. So, although hospitalizations are more closely linked with the possibility of developing dementia, the number of times had no significance, whereas, although people who were on medications were less likely to develop dementia, the amount of medications they took did affect the risk level.

So now all that is left to identify is why depression and dementia are actually linked. Again, there could be a few possible explanations as stated before. One reason could be that both depression and dementia share the same developmental traits (pathogenesis), such as inflammation. Because they share several of these traits, it is a strong possibility that they have a close link to each other. Along with this, another factor might be telomere length. A telomere is a DNA sequence located at the end of a chromosome and a study found that shorter telomeres may be a risk factor for developing depression as well as a significant risk of developing dementia as well. Besides these two possibilities, there may very well be different correlations between depression and dementia such as smoking, obesity, poor health, etc.

So where do we go from here? This study is only the beginning of our knowledge of the link between depression and dementia. Although it did not dive into it, it is also highly possible that depression could contribute to different subcategories of dementia, however, this requires conducting more studies and research. Similarly, it is also possible that different categories of depression have a different contribution to the risk of dementia within a person. For example, atypical depression has a close link to people with obesity, higher inflammation, and other health complications, therefore it could be predicted that this specific type of depression could lead to vascular dementia versus other forms of dementia. There is still a lot that is unknown about this topic as the correlation was discovered recently but as time goes on, more studies and research will help to make the how and why more clear. 

At the end of the day, it is absolutely true that depression is a very clear risk factor in the development of dementia. The details may be unknown, but an earlier diagnosis of depression may be key to reducing the risk of one getting dementia. There is plenty more research to be done but that does not mean action cannot be taken to help with these mental illnesses.

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

[vierschanzentournee]

Ski Jumping Survey 2020/21 - The Results

So, 2020/21 was… a season. It’s certainly had its ups and downs, but I’m grateful that we were able to have the majority of a season, including the world championships, despite whatever the hell has been going on the in the wider world!

Luckily, there’s no reason that coronavirus should have an impact on my third end-of-season survey — in fact, I got an absolutely awesome 103 responses this year! For reference, last year I got 68, and the year before that I got 66. I don’t know whether my survey just reached more people this year, or whether the ski jumping family on Tumblr has grown, but either way I’m super happy.

The results for overall favourite jumpers were scored the same way as usual: a vote for favourite was worth 3 points, a vote for second favourite was worth 2, and a vote for third favourite was worth 1. The jumpers were ranked based on their total number of points, which meant that the most popular World Cup ski jumpers this year were…

Maren Lundby & Daniel-André Tande

I always knew this season would be an interesting one for my survey (...and yes, I do start thinking about it quite a bit in advance), because the male winner of the previous two years, Stephan Leyhe, wouldn’t be an option due to his injury. Daniel, however, wasn’t a completely unexpected winner — he came second to Stephan last year. I do wonder whether Daniel got an extra little boost because of his terrible fall in Planica at the end of the season, which meant he was very much at the forefront of everyone’s minds, but I’ve got no way to confirm or deny that! The full results for the men are below - if two jumpers had the same number of points, ranking was based on who had the highest number of votes for favourite (if that was identical, it then went down to who had the highest number of votes for second favourite). If two jumpers share a ranking, it means they had the exact same distribution of votes.

1. Tande (78 points)

2. Stoch (57)

3. Geiger (57)

4. Granerud (51)

5. Eisenbichler (38)

6. Boyd-Clowes (31)

7. Schlierenzauer (30)

8. P Prevc (27)

9. Lindvik (26)

10. Wellinger (22)

11. R Kobayashi (18)

12. Stekala (16)

13. D Prevc (15)

14. Y Sato (15)

15. Lanisek (12)

16. Pavlovcic (12)

17. Freund (10)

18. Freitag (8)

19. Hayboeck (8)

20. Wolny (7)

21. Aalto (7)

22. Nakamura (6)

23. D Huber (6)

24. Hamann (6)

25. Kubacki & Kraft (5)

26. Schmid (5)

27. Johansson (5)

28. C Prevc & Jelar & Semenic (4)

29. Fettner (4)

30. Kot (3)

31. Klimov (3)

32. Paschke (2)

33. Forfang (2)

34. Kytosaho & Aigro & Markeng & Aschenwald (1)

Karl Geiger defends his third place from last year, while Kamil Stoch jumps a few places from 5th to second (perhaps courtesy of his third Four Hills victory this year?). Obviously, the biggest winner here is Halvor Egner Granerud, who has gone from only 2 points last year (when he struggled immensely in the World Cup and finished with only a few points) to finishing fourth with 8.28% of the vote (Tande had 12.66%, while Stoch and Geiger had 9.25% each). Others who have moved up include Eisenbichler (from 10th to 5th) and Stekala (who I believe did not compete in the World Cup last year and so wasn’t available as an option, but has clearly won a lot of hearts this season). Conversely, there are also a few who seem to have lost out — Marius Lindvik fell from 4th place to 9th, while Andreas Wellinger, who wasn’t an option last year due to his injury but dominated the non-World Cup vote, could only manage 10th in comparison to his second place in 2019.

The women saw another season of dominance from Maren Lundby in this survey, although not so much on the hill. The full results for the women are:

1. Lundby (103 points)

2. Takanashi (85)

3. Kramer (62)

4. Althaus (57)

5. Kriznar (52)

6. Opseth (50)

7. Freitag (19)

8. Klinec & Pinkelnig (15)

9. Vogt (13)

10. Hoelzl (13)

11. Rogelj (12)

12. Iraschko-Stolz (11)

13. Voros (11)

14. Rupprecht (9)

15. Karpiel (8)

16. Bjoerseth (7)

17. Pagnier (6)

18. Twardosz (4)

19. Rajda (4)

20. Avvakumova & Stroem & Haralambie (3)

21. Maruyama (2)

22. L Malsiner & Strate (2)

23. Kvandal & Ito & Eder & Seyfarth & Iwabuchi & Brecl (1)

Although Lundby has secured the win yet again, her share of the vote is a little lower this time at 16.74%, compared to 21.27% in 2020. Sara Takanashi has overtaken Katharina Althaus for second place, but undoubtedly the highest climber is Sara Marita Kramer, who received no votes at all last year (despite ranking 9th in the overall World Cup), but this year won 10.06% of the women’s vote. Many other results were largely stable — Kriznar, Opseth, and Freitag are in the same area of the rankings as they were last year — but Ema Klinec made some gains, moving up from 15th to 8th.

The votes for favourite teams were simply added up, and the team with the most votes won. For the men, the rankings were:

1. Norway (34 votes)

2. Poland & Germany (23)

3. Slovenia (9)

4. Austria (7)

5. Japan (4)

6. Finland (1)

7. France (1)

Interestingly, the Norwegians have overtaken the Germans — possibly this has something to do with the Germans essentially losing their two most popular jumpers, Wellinger and Leyhe, while the Norwegians saw excellent results from Halvor Egner Granerud. Poland have also overtaken Slovenia, by a significant margin, which I’m not entirely sure I can explain!

For the women, the rankings were:

1. Norway (28 votes)

2. Slovenia (24)

3. Germany (19)

4. Austria (12)

5. Japan (9)

6. Poland (3)

7. Russia (2)

8. France (1)

Again, Norway have taken the lead from Germany. Slovenia have jumped from fourth to second, leapfrogging both Austria and Germany, while Japan are steadily catching up to Austria too. 2020/21 was a strong season for the Slovenian women on the whole, with Nika Kriznar winning the overall and Ema Klinec becoming a world champion, which perhaps explains why they’ve been on people’s minds more often.

The vote for favourite male athlete who didn’t compete in the World Cup this season wasn’t actually quite as much of a slaughter as I’d thought it would be — the winner was exactly who you think it is, but others mounted a strong challenge!

1. Leyhe (29 votes)

2. Fannemel (12)

3. Gangnes (9)

4. Bickner (8)

5. Morgenstern (6)

6. Kasai (5)

7. Pedersen & Peier (3)

8. Hautamaki (2)

9. Stjernen & Schmitt & Ahonen & Malysz & Raimund & S Huber & Larinto & Hannawald & Descombes Sevoie & Kranjec & Aune & Hilde (1)

There was a far greater variety of answers this year, probably thanks to the much larger sample size - so while roughly a third of respondents were still missing Stephan, plenty of people also found room in their hearts for long-time absentees like Fannemel, recent retirees like Gangnes and Kranjec, those relegated to the Continental Cup or below like Kasai and Pedersen, or those who have long since retired but whom we still miss, like Morgenstern, Schmitt, and Malysz.

The same question didn’t get a huge amount of responses for the women:

1. Hendrickson (8 votes)

2. Seifreidsberger (3)

3. N Prevc & Wuerth (2)

4. Sagen & Straub & Van & Iakovleva & M Malsiner (1)

Sarah Hendrickson, one of the first legends of women’s ski jumping who announced her retirement at the end of this season, was at the front of many respondents’ minds — others were looking towards the future with Nika Prevc, the younger sister of Peter, Cene, and Domen.

It’s a little bit difficult to compare the results for favourite tournament each year, as 2 out of the 3 years I’ve run the survey have seen the cancellation of various tournaments. The one consistent, however, has been the Four Hills Tournament, which still remains the favourite of most of the fanbase:

1. Four Hills Tournament (75 votes)

2. Planica7 (14)

3. Willingen Six (13)

I didn’t ask about favourite podiums this year, as the headache it caused me last year was not worth repeating, no matter how interesting the comparisons might be!

One of my favourite elements of this survey is the predictions. The most popular predictions for the winners of season 19/20 were correct; the predictions for 20/21, however, were much less accurate — no one at all saw Granerud coming, and only one person correctly predicted that Nika Kriznar would win the women’s World Cup. The most popular predictions to win this season were Geiger (who finished 6th, after a busy season which involved catching Covid-19, welcoming a baby daughter, and winning a variety of ski flying and world championship medals) and Lundby (who finished 8th, struggling to find her best form in early World Cup competitions but hitting a groove towards the end of the season and winning several world championship medals). Inspired by this rather topsy-turvy season, we’ve got a wide variety of predictions for next year:

1. Geiger (29 votes)

2. R Kobayashi (17)

3. Eisenbichler (12)

4. Lanisek (8)

5. Pavlovcic (5)

6. Lindvik (5)

7. Stoch & Granerud & D Huber (4)

8. D Prevc (3)

9. Boyd-Clowes (2)

10. Y Sato & Zajc & Fannemel & P Prevc & Schlierenzauer & Kubacki (1)

Interestingly, not many people seem to think Granerud can do it twice in a row — this certainly fits the pattern we’ve seen over the past few decades, with the last male jumper to win two consecutive titles being Janne Ahonen in 2003/04 and 2004/05. Despite his failure to deliver on the overall title this year, Karl Geiger has again received a vote of confidence, while his teammate Eisenbichler is being seriously considered for the title for the first time. There’s also a lot of support here for jumpers who haven’t even had a World Cup victory: Lanisek, Pavlovcik, Huber, and Boyd-Clowes have never won a competition. There are a few other long shots here too, considering that Fannemel has been out for three consecutive seasons (and isn’t even confirmed to be jumping next season), and Schlierenzauer finished 65th in the World Cup this season (although it’s of course worth noting that Granerud was 61st last season, and we all know that Gregor knows how to win!)

There’s far less variety to be found among the women:

1. Kramer (49 votes)

2. Takanashi (13)

3. Lundby (11)

4. Opseth (6)

5. Kriznar (3)

6. Klinec (2)

Again, not many people think Kriznar can do it twice in a row — instead, all eyes are on Sara Marita Kramer, who came within touching distance of the crystal globe this year but was stymied by various cancelled competitions. This is the first year that Lundby hasn’t been the fandom’s top prediction, and it seems that when it rains for her, it pours, because she’s not even the second choice. That title goes to Sara Takanashi, who hasn’t won an overall title since 2016/17 but who finished second to Kriznar this season.

Sadly, only one of the jumpers tipped for a first victory last year actually managed to achieve one this season — Nika Kriznar. Many of the other favourite picks, such as Constantin Schmid, Philipp Aschenwald, and Ziga Jelar instead suffered something of a downturn in form, while others like Anze Lanisek and Silje Opseth have performed well, but not quite well enough for a win. This year’s votes are:

1. Lanisek (21 votes)

2. Stekala (20)

3. Pavlovcic (17)

4. Opseth (9)

5. Boyd-Clowes (6)

6. Schmid (3)

7. Bjoerseth (2)

8. Jelar & Nakamura & C Prevc & Pedersen (1)

Towards the end of the season, Pavlovcic in particular seemed to be knocking on the door of victory; Lanisek was a consistent top 10 finisher; and Stekala achieved his very first podium. It’ll be interesting to see where these jumpers go next year, and I hope that it’s not quite as much of a curse as it was last year!

As ever, the final part of the survey was focused on demographics — who are the ski jumping family?

According to this year’s survey, the average ski jumping fan on Tumblr is 21.6 years old, a German-speaker who is from and lives in Germany, and has been watching ski jumping for slightly over 7 years!

I put together charts showing the data collected about respondents’ country of origin, country of residence, age, languages, and time watching ski jumping:

So, all there’s left to do now is thank everyone who took the survey for their invaluable contributions to “science” — thank you to @telemarcs @queen-maren @na-woke-i-nakamura​ @damn-d4niel @louddreaming @skiijumpingg @hill-record @june-skijumping @ificouldflyhigh @flautist10 @blueplastichairbrush @vixmise @skijumping-is-my-aesthetics @startgate13 @lewanarta @oneoutof @sportschaos @sparflamme @anagraves @turquoiseheart1 @jumpingtodreams @entropuff @paringeverywhere @omi-om @blueberryfriday @rpntws @jokkeblobfish @reindeersonmytshirt @ski-jumper-stan @cryingismyonlyhobby @itsloveit @mlledevoltaire @prinshoppmarius @skiijumpinng @czarnewino @ski-schlieri @badlandings @one-more-jump @ilovenearlyeverything @iliketheusual @lipasworld @jensontodd @scandinavianbyheartt @ryoyuftw @sarcasticlilkid @moon-ascendant @eksperimentgaj @damnconfused @flegm-a @witchsdog @byeseefeld @stephanleyhes @anttiaaltostan @magioghvitetekopper @merlex93, the person who gave me an Instagram username when asked for a Tumblr username, and, last but not least, the person who replied “wouldnt you like to know weatherboy” when asked for a URL. I will never know who you are, but I love you.