#also coriane very hard to write

[im-a-ramblr]

Fics I would like to see for Arcane Ascension, but don't want to have to write myself because I already feel overwhelmed with ideas or unqualified to write them [Edited/Updated as of 10/25/2023]

The Winter Ball Dance Scene from Jin's POV (maybe extended)

Corin actually taking the position as Professor Erzan's TA

Tristan is still a whisper and still part of the Ascension Faction, but he's also not tower-bound bound so he has to keep all his activities secret from his family. Corin and Sera are pretty sure Tristan is trying to run a cult out of the basement, but they hope if they don't say anything he won't get them involved.

A The Joy of Joe like fic where Jin runs an Art YouTube channel and his fans are super interested in the small bits of his personal life that he drops. In the end, it's revealed that he is Dalen Jin, who is a very big deal for several reasons

AA x Addams Family, where Morticia or Gomez are either Magnus or Laura's estranged sibling who, despite not being close with the parents, are very interested and invested in Corin and Sera

Corin gets his Arbiter Attument by helping a disguised visage do something super basic and has to deal with the consequences

That one CorJin idea I posted about here

Kelridge rebellion and liberation

Corin is immune to love and/or lust potions, and can fight off most love spells (they have to be citrine or stronger for him to give have to work to throw them off) He is completely immune to Lust spells (Ace King 👑) Corin learns this the hard way. So do each of his friends/companions.

Vanniv and Researcher are given Mana regenerative items that let them stay summoned for extended periods of time without draining Sera. Shinagines ensue

Corin is kidnapped by Dawn, Reika and Ishyeal, because of the Selys-Lyann having part of Flowbreaker in it. He makes it clear that he had no idea and convinces them to let him tag along on the quest for a little bit. He forgets that Keras, Derek and the others don't know that he is in danger, and it's quite surprised when they crash the party

Corin eventually realizes Tristan isn't all that great and moves on with his life. Tristan has a hard time accepting that, because Corin idolizing him was kind of an important factor of his plan. He's convinced Corin must have been spelled away, and tires multiple times to break it. Obviously it doesn't work because Corian isn't under a spell.

Hartigan Manor becomes infested with Mimics while Keras and the kids are staying there. Shenanigans ensure.

Time Loop. Ara_Mochi has started to do ones with this, and they're great but I kind of want to see one where Corin just keeps getting different attunements every time. Jin isn't affected because he just mesmers himself out of the effect. Slowly they get the rest of the team too.

Attunement swap

[mp721]

The New LGBTA Wiki Still Has Issues

(Alternate title: Two-Thousand Words of Writing On the Current State of the LGBTA Wiki That I Wrote At 2am and Edited the Next Day)

Intro:

As of a few months ago, the LGBTA Wiki is being hosted on a new platform (link). While the Miraheze site is still up and will be for the foreseeable future, users are being encouraged to use the new site. The reason for the change was the massive amount of resource-less pages, misinformation, incorrectly formatted pages, etc. on the old wiki.

Though this seems like a good thing, the new wiki still has some massive issues as of writing. Since the site has only been up for a few months, there is a chance that they will be fixed, but I sincerely doubt they will be.

My primary issues with the new wiki are as follows: Lack of resources, lack of credit, redefinitions of terms, renaming terms, excluding names for terms, lack of histories, conflation of terms, only acknowledging one version of terms that have been coined multiple times.

Since I’ll be expanding on all of these points (and with examples), this is going to be a very long post. So sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Before I can get into the details of many of these issues, I have to explain something about the formatting of the new wiki. The majority of pages on it are massive umbrella terms for a given term that then list every term that the moderator of the wiki has deemed to go under it listed in an information table under a subheading. While I personally do not like this choice, I have a hard time finding anything inherently wrong with it on it’s face, so it isn’t a part of my big complaints. It does, however, contribute to a number of the serious issues I do have with this wiki. 

As another quick addition, I will not be discussing every single instance where a certain issue shows up. It’s easier and quicker for everyone if I just use a few examples, often the most egregious, to illustrate a larger point. I’m sure if anyone were to go look, there are far more examples of what I’m talking about than I list here, and I encourage anyone interested for whatever reason to go check that our for themselves. With that out of the way, on to the issues.

Issue 1: Lack of resources

A number of the information tables listing subterms do not link to the post or any images showing where a term and flag were made. This can be seen on the Bigender page (link), the Xenogender page (link), and the prefixes and suffixes page (link). This is a problem for a few reasons. The primary one is that it makes it incredibly difficult to verify any information. While this should not be a problem, the majority of term archival wikis have had information in some form, so easy fact-checking is one hundred percent necessary. It, along with one of the other issues I’ll discuss in a minute, makes it hard to find where information comes from, meaning it’s harder to find whether it’s reliable in the first place, which source they’re drawing from for terms that have been coined multiple times, who is responsible for coinig what, and when and where terms originated.

Issue 2: Lack of credit.

In addition to not providing links for information, a concerningly large amount of terms also do not credit who coined them or where they were coined. This can be seen on the same pages linked in the last point. In fact, only three terms listed on any one of those pages provide links and, only by extension, credit. Those are the -corian, -comfic, and -coric boxes on the prefixes and suffixes page. While a number of terms listed in that page specifically were not explicitly coined and, arguably, don’t require credit, some do. As do all of the terms on the other linked pages:

-cenic is listed with no credit, link, or definition, despite very clearly having a coining, coining post, and definition. Several terms, including Abigender, Libragender, Xenosoft, and Xenogenderfluid are also completely creditless and sourceless.

This, alongside the lack of provided links, also makes it harder for individuals to find who coined a term in order to figure out whether or not they’re comfortable using a term or flag created vy any given coiner or flagmaker. Even putting aside the issue of whether or not pages should have banners discussing possible problematic views and actions by coiners, it should not be difficult for anyone to find that information for themselves. Especially not when it’s so easy to include information that makes that easy to find and research different individuals.

Issue 3: Redefinitions

This doesn’t require as much explanation. Though, I will give a few examples just to substantiate my point:

-corian(link) is listed as being related to core aesthetics. Not core suffixed aesthetics, as it’s defined, rather it seems to mean central, primary, embodying, etc.

The listed definition for Xenosoft(link) excludes the part of the definition that mentions soft xeninity, rather than just exclusively a soft Xenogender. While this seems minor, it is possible to identify as xenine but not Xenogender and vice versa, just as male with masculine and female with feminine, and excluding that part of the definition excludes a wide range of Xenosoft experiences.

Libragender(link) while also being conflated with Abigender and Bxgender, more on this later, is defined as identifying with two genders, as well as a connection to genderlessness. While some may experience being Libragender in this way, that is not the original definition. It is, instead, defined as being primarily Agender with a connection to something else.

The listed definition for Werewolfcorian(link) excludes the connection to escapism, the vibe and aesthetic of werewolves, the specific phases of the moon this gender is especially connected to, and attributes the connection to the sinister atmosphere of werewolves specifically to just a connection to general sinister atmospheres. There are also other changes to the definition.

Issue 4: Renaming Terms

I’ve only immediately recognized one instance of this in my limited searching through the wiki, but it’s still an issue and I genuinely doubt that it won’t happen in the future.

The first coining of the term Xenofluid was renamed to Xenogenderfluid in its information box(link), despite the fact that it was not coined as or ever referred to as that in its coining post. There isn’t a chance that it’s actually a different term being refered to here, unless it’s another conflation issue, since the Xenofluid flag is shown as the flag for this term.

Issue 5: Excluding Names For Terms

This is a fairly limited issue, as far as I’m aware, but it’s also completely avoidable and, in my opinion, inexcusable for a wiki. The first coining of the term Panxenic/Panxenogender(link) is listed exclusively as Panxenogender(link), despite that being the secondary name. While there could be the excuse made of the new formatting only using singular names for subterms, that falls apart for two reasons. 

The first is that wiki formatting should be designed around the best way to archive and display information. The information that is displayed should not be edited to fit wiki formatting.

Secondly, that isn’t even true. There are examples of multiple names being listed for terms, including Xenby/Xenbie, which is on the same page, and the Abigender/Libragender/Bxgender box on the Bigender page(link). I’ll be getting back to that whole thing in a minute.

Issue 6: Lack of Histories

In addition to the other issues that seem to be brought about by the new formatting, none of the terms listed in information tables that I have seen give coining dates or dates for the creation of flags. Not a single one. If nothing else, this is an issue because there is literally no reason not to list coining dates, or the closest that can be found for terms where the original sources are deleted. There is no excuse for it not to be there. It is impossible to find the information necessary to give the name, flag, and definition of a term and not have easy access to the date it was coined on. This is a massive, completely unnecessary oversight and I cannot conceive of why this information has been left out.

Issue 7: Conflation of Terms

For anyone not in the know, the conflation of terms is a term that seems to have been coined by the mods of Gender-Archival/Genderpedia that typically refers to taking one or more parts of a term including its name, part or all of its definition, and/or its flag, and attributing that to another term. This often also involves not giving any credit to the originator of said name, definition, etc. This, alongside many of my other issues, was all over older versions of the wiki and shows up in full force here, too. It also goes hand in hand with completely ignoring other versions of certain terms, something I’ll get to later.

A prime example of this also appears on the previously mentioned Bigender page. The page completely folds Libragender, Abigender, and Bxgender into the same term, with the same basic definition. While Bxgender is an alternate name for the specific version of Abigender(link) that is referenced there, based on the flag featured anyway, it is also its own term, coined separately from any version of Abigender(link).

For full transparency, this is the only example of this issue that I found in my limited search. However, it, on its own, is still a problem. If nothing else, because this exact same misinformation, in conflating Abigender and Bxgender, was on the old Wiki. So there is absolutely no reason to trust that a lot of the old misinformation will be fixed in the move. Which, given that fixing misinformation alongside other things was the primary reason for the move, is painfully disheartening.

Issue 8: Lack of Acknowledgement of Certain Terms

To establish how this can even be an issue in the first place, I do have to establish something else, first. While I’m sure the majority of those aware of this wiki are also aware of recoining, I’d like to give foundation, just in case. Recoining is the name for when multiple terms have been coined under the same name. The most prolific one I’m aware of is Zombiegender(link) though there are several other examples(link). I’ve seen a few different opinions on how archives should handle recoined terms, but I’ve always been of the opinion that they should all be listed in some form or another, for the sake of transparency and avoiding confusion, if nothing else. I’m a fan of the way Genderpedia does it, suffixing each page with the ‘place’ in which it was coined in which it was coined, for example, Zombiegender(1), Zombiegender(2), and so on and so on. But there are other ways that it could be done. Something I’d like to hope that most can agree on is that you can’t just not acknowledging recoins for a variety of reasons, including clarity, transparency, and having an accurate account of coining history.

The new LGBTA Wikis does not use any of the options for acknowledging multiple coinings of terms. It seems that the current strategy is to just choose one version of a term to list as the real one, I guess, and then never acknowledge that any others exist. Some examples of this are Seasonalgender, Summergender, Autumngender, Wintergender, and Springgender(link); Abigender; and Monstergender(link).

Outro: 

While I do have some other, more minor, issues with the wiki, I don’t feel the need to list or expand on them here. 

A number of members of this community have given this wiki chance after chance after chance to get their stuff together and actually be something resembling a good resource. But, as much as it really sucks to say this, I do not believe that it’s possible at this point. This wiki has changed hands and platform multiple times and it continues to have issues. While a number of these issues have gotten better, new ones have popped up and others have gotten worse. Callout posts, coiner boycotts, new leadership. None of it seems to be enough to fix this wiki.

I obviously can’t tell anyone who or what to support or what to think, but I would seriously caution everyone to at the very least check everything you see on any any version of this wiki, if not outright avoiding it. It has shown us time and time again that misinformation will be proudly, often sourcelessly, displayed with no disclaimers or corrections made by anyone.

I gave up on expecting anything better from this wiki back when I realized that edits and pages spreading misinformation were being aloud to go public by moderation despite lack of sources, incorrect definitions, and some other issues. But this completely destroyed any hope I had that maybe it could be good at any point in the future.

This new version might, so far, have less misinformation than any other version of the wiki, but that almost makes the existing misinformation even more insidious. Readers are less likely to register misinformation as such if its surrounded by correct information. This wiki is a goldmine for that kind of stuff. If I didn’t have the knowledge I did on a lot of these terms and my existing skepticism of the wiki, I would’ve been fooled by a lot of what I listed here. I can’t imagine how much worse it would be for someone who is new to the community. Who doesn’t just know all the names for Panxenic or what the actual, full definition of Werewolfcorian is.

I’m not sure how to end this post, because there isn’t much else to say that I haven’t already, here and all over my blog. This whole situation is just incredibly frustrating and disheartening and kind of bewildering to me. Chance after chance, platform after platform, it feels like none of it mattered. There’s still misinformation, there’s still term conflation, there’s still a complete lack of sourcing in some cases. The LGBTA Wiki still cannot be trusted. And I cannot conceive of that changing any time soon.

[usmsgutterson]

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

M - either Nina from six of crows, Kenji from the shatter me series, or Coriane Jacos from the Red Queen books (she deserved so much better and I will love her for the rest of eternity)

T - I have a lot for six of crows, so I put them below lol

Jesper loves the smell of bonfires and smells like if cedarwood and gunsmoke could be combined and turned into a scent

Wylan likes cinnamon rolls but only if they have a very light drizzle of frosting or none at all because he finds the icing too sweet

Kaz and Inej write letters to each other while Inej is out at sea--Inej tends to write a LOT, mostly stuff about how much she loves the boat, and she talks a lot about the different places she visits. Kaz keeps it short and concise, tells her about Wylan and Jesper and Ketterdam as a whole, occasionally passing her updates whenever he hears something from/about Nina through the grapevine. Though he keeps it short and concise, he cherishes every five-page letter he gets in the mail and he eventually falls in love with her handwriting.

Nina is absolutely a lover of pumpkin season, but she's not REALLY a coffee person, so she gets the iced pumpkin cream chai with a shot of blonde espresso when she needs a pick me up (and without it when she doesn't need a pick me up to keep awake, just because she's like "I don't care if it costs me eight kruge. I deserve this")

Also--she would love the pumpkin cream cheese muffin from starbucks. So would Inej and Wylan, honestly!! (I can ramble on for hours about the crows during pumpkin season--it's not funny)

Speaking of Nina still--she and Matthias always go get sweet treats. She'll ask him if he wants coffee and a muffin and then they'll walk together and make a date out of it

[lilyharvord]

Song of the Phoenix Part 5

Find part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4

Tagging list next: @evangelineartemiasamos, @mareshmallow, @scarletguardsource, @war-storm, @mvaen

(Coriane) I hate this hallway, I think to myself as I move down the white marble steps into the smaller hallway that should take me to the main ballroom. I pick up my skirts, trying to adjust to the weight of them. I hate these too, I think bitterly as I try to pick up the pace. A Lady is never late, Aunt Jessabel whispers scratch at the back of my skull.

I pause in the middle of the hallway. You’re dead, I think back to those thoughts. 

So are you. 

My entire body locks up in horror as that third voice dances into my head. I go to scream, but no sound escapes. I can’t even scream this time. I couldn’t scream in my bedchambers either, not even when I wanted so desperately to scream for the Arven stationed outside my door. He was supposed to be protecting me, keeping her away. 

You’re not here, I whisper to Elara as I start moving again, my eyes dead set on the double doors on the other end of the hallway. Tibe is behind them, I’m sure. If not him, then Julian, or Sara, or the gardens, or something, something other than her.  Every step I took seemed to take me further from those doors though. I ground my jaw and pressed on, trying to walk faster.

Beads of sweat ran down my neck from my hairline, and I could feel my crown slipping, each step making it fall further to the side. With a clatter, if fell, and smashed into a rainbow of crystal. I paused and looked down at the shards of opal and diamond on the ground. 

When I looked back up, I was back in my bedchambers, watching a nurse’s back as she walked out of the room with Cal watching me over her shoulder. His eyes never leave mine. I went to take a step after her, trying to call for her to bring him back. If Cal was here, if he had just been here in the moment, everything would have been fine. 

You would have killed him too. You would have taken your precious son with you.

I shook off Elara’s voice, hissing at her to be quiet. She simply laughed though, and I felt like an animal pacing a cage as I tried to escape her. Slowly, I curled up in the corner of my room, wrapping my arms around my knees to hug them to my chest. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed my hands to my ears and rocked back and forth. 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” I screamed at her, but she laughed. She didn’t stop, not even when I stood and grabbed the biggest shard of the crown that I could find. She laughed through the first cut, and my scream.

I woke gasping for air, clutching the blankets to my chest, as I sat bolt upright, my throat hoarse. I didn’t recognize this place, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see…

The door into the room was thrown open, and I almost jumped out of the bed in surprise when it hit the wall. There was a crackling sound and all the lights in the room exploded to life. I shielded my eyes when they came on.  

When I finally managed to open my eyes, I could see Mare’s silhouette in the doorway. Her hand was filled with the soft glow of purple lightning, but as she looked around the room and noticed it was empty, the purple sparks vanished, and the lights in the room dimmed until they were gone. 

The darkness was complete in that moment, I shivered at the thought. The hallway beyond her was dark too, but I could just make out her head when she asked softly, “Nightmares?”

I shook my head softly, and looked away from her. It takes what feels like eternity, but she closes the door, the lock hitting home with a click. When I look up again, the dim light of the moon is falling into the room, barely illuminating the floorboards and the paintings on the walls. 

I sit awake, watching as the light of dawn slowly dances across the sky. I don’t dare close my eyes again.

(/////)

When I come downstairs a few hours later, I can hear the clatter of dishes and conversation from the kitchen. I can make out a new voice, another boy’s, it must be the other brother who I did not get to meet the other day. Sure enough when I step into the doorway, I see the table occupied by Mare’s two brothers, and Mare herself. She looks up when I enter, her eyes tracking me as I go to take a seat at the table. She reminds me of a cat. There used to be one that prowled in the bird atrium when someone accidentally left the door open. I feel like a bird she is watching too. 

“Is Cal here?” I ask softly, and that seems to stop the conversation around the table. Her brothers look between each other, and then go about taking a very deep interest in their breakfast. Mare simply looks down at the cup of coffee she has between her hands. When she looks back up, her expression is somewhat softer. I get the feeling she does not let people see her give this expression often. 

“He left this morning. Rori called early and said she needed him to start working with the soldiers. If he wants to get an apartment around here, he’ll need to start working now. She offered to reinstate him at a captain’s position. The last time he was in the military he left as an officer.” She states simply before lifting the mug and drinking deeply from it. I catch her eyes dancing over my shoulder, and I can almost hear her mother’s hesitation in flipping over the eggs she’s cooking. I can’t even begin to truly process that. Cal had said he was a general before, which meant he had been demoted upon abdicating. Did captains see as much action as officers? What about generals? I couldn’t remember, and I was too tired to chase down those thoughts. 

“So we are staying here permanently?” I ask, trying to make the quiver in my voice stop.  I had liked the other house much more. At least there it was only Mare and my son, here, here her whole family can hear my panicked night terrors. I don’t want to be a burden. 

Mare’s face doesn’t change a whit, not even when she says, “That depends on what Rori has planned.” 

“And what does she have planned?” 

“I don’t know,” Mare’s voice hardens. Her brothers shift away from her slightly, and it takes me a moment to understand why. The hair on their heads is starting to stand on end. The sound of silverware hitting dishes stops, and even the frying in the pan stops as well. 

It takes one exhale for Mare to sit back in the chair, and for the air around us to stop smelling like ozone. It is as if a jar has been opened slightly and the energy inside released, because the sounds of the morning return. 

The door into the house opens and closes, and Mare’s friend, Kilorn, I remember announces himself to everyone. The brothers seem to exhale in relief, and one of them leaps up from the table to wash his dish in the sink. He whistles as Kilorn walks into the kitchen, his shirt smudged with something. He walks past Mare’s mother and reaches straight into the pan for what is in there. She smacks his hand and sends him scurrying away. 

Waving his hand in embarrassment, Kilorn edges into the unoccupied seat next to Mare, and puts his boots up into her lap. Smiling at her, he says, “Saw Cal this morning, he was taking the new trainees on a run. I felt kind of bad for him though, it looked like he was about to die.” 

Mare raises a brow, her eyes finally leaving me to turn toward her friend. “Is that so?”

“I figured you two would at least still be training and running together.” 

“Well Kilorn, when people become adults, they stop having time to do things like that.” She teases as she rises from the table to wash out her mug, pushing his legs out of her lap as she does so. He sticks his tongue out at her and says, “I am an adult for your information. I have a job just like you and Cal do.” He puts his feet up onto the seat that she just stopped occupying as if to punctuate the point. 

“Right, because filing papers and stapling them is so beneficial to society.” She says with her back to him, as she turns to the sink. He laughs at her comment and puts his hands behind his head, carefree and bored with the conversation. “Well someone has to do that job. Besides, I’m moving up the chain. I’m helping with Xander’s upcoming run for Premier, I handle all sorts of important papers. I’m in on all the gossip.”  

“So you and Cameron have continued to work on your reading skills? When do you two find the time when you spend so much time rolling around in bed?” Kilorn kicks his heels down onto the floor and pointing a finger at Mare who has just turned around he says, “CarefuI, can say something… very similar.” His eyes dance to me for half a second during his pause before turning back to Mare, who narrows her eyes just slightly. He swallows deeply, and then smiles sheepishly.  

“About who?” One of the brothers pushes, his brows wiggling at the tease. Mare’s eyes flash to him, and for a moment, I fear she may blow him to pieces like an electric socket. He catches the look she throws and looks away quickly. The room goes quiet again, and I glance at the clock above the door. Eight twenty, and this day already feels like it will last for eternity.

(///)

Mare walks fast for someone with such short legs, and I have to keep up with her. More than anything I want to stop and stare at everything around us though. The people in the little cafes drinking coffee and laughing are mixed groups of reds and silvers. My heart pounds at the sight and I’m not sure if it is in surprise or discomfort. I feel like I’m looking through a blurry lens. 

Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe the whole thing is just one crazy dream that I’m having. It seems like a very real possibility. Maybe I had gone to bed, had a nightmare about Elara, and I was still dreaming. Yes, that made a lot of sense. My son was still a baby, and I was going to wake up any minute now, and Tibe would be back from the front, and the nurse would bring Cal in and I would have the courage to tell Tibe the truth.

This was all just a dream. 

I almost slam into Mare who has stopped walking, my mind having wandered so far away that I almost walked into the middle of the street where the transports rushing by would have hit me. Would have killed me… again. The thoughts is odd, rather than uncomfortable. By my colors, I hoped I wasn’t getting used to all of this. 

I barely catch myself in time, and clear my throat at the awkwardness when she looks over her shoulder at me. Dream or not, this girl was lethal. Her gaze could level buildings, and no doubt that… lightning of hers, could do far worse. “This place is unlike anything I have ever seen,” I justify my distraction quickly, and her expression soften just the slightest bit again. She looks forward and says softly, “It was for me too.” 

I keep forgetting that she wasn’t born here, that this place is not her original home. She is Nortian, just like I am. Just like Cal, my mind whispers. The next thought follows quickly on its heels, they never told you how they met, there is more to the story than they say. You had to learn about it from the sister letting it slip. What else are they hiding?  

I watch her profile for a moment, trying to figure out the answer to that question. Mare certainly seemed like the type to keep information close if it benefited her. I had no doubt that she would keep things from me for a long time. I wanted to know about my son though, about how he had become the man I saw today. And I didn’t want to hear about the war, and all the death. I just wanted to get to know my son. I didn’t know anything about his upbringing, other than the fact that Elara had been around more than I would have liked… and Tibe had fallen apart. He had fallen apart, and disobeyed my wishes to keep our son from going head first into battle. He’ll be bigger than his father. Sara had told me that, had warned me of what would become of my son. If I had lived, he would have never seen the front. He would have never followed in Tibe’s footsteps. 

The small group of people around us starts moving again, and Mare does as well, pulling me from my thoughts so that I have to keep up again. She leads the way to a massive building that a horde of young people heads toward. She crossed the pristine lawns as if it is a day like any other, and she seems to blend into the crowd of people carrying their books and bags. 

I watch a group of girls walk by, all of them debating something heatedly as they pass us. They look at Mare for a moment as she walks by, and their conversation ends abruptly before they bow their heads and start whispering. Mare pointedly ignores them as she starts up the steps of the main building. I hurry after her, my eyes darting to everyone who looks at her twice. 

She starts into the marble halls, filled with pockets of sunlight from the windows that are everywhere to let natural light in. The hallways are less crowded, and judging by all the closed doors, people are sitting in classes. I have no idea who or what we are looking for, but Mare walks with a purpose. 

She turns right at the cross roads of sorts and walks past numerous boards that display fliers for research and travel. She rolls her eyes at them, and then pauses in front of a large door. She opens it, gesturing for me to walk in. I scurry by her and she follows, holding the door so that it doesn’t slam closed. 

The auditorium we enter is packed with students, all taking careful notes on the information being projected onto the board. Mare leans against the back wall, watching the man at the bottom who is writing feverishly on the board as well, lecturing as he goes. I try to do the same as her, pressing myself into the shadow created by the overhanging above the door, and listen carefully to see if I can actually learn something about this place. 

The far off sound of bells stops everything though, and the students hurriedly pack, their voices and bodies hiding the man at the bottom, even though I can hear his voice trying to shout at them to remember their reading, and that it’s changed to include another chapter. The students file past us, most of them looking at Mare who nods to them. Their eyes go wide and they elbow their friends before whispering excitedly as they leave the room. I can’t help but be grateful that no one recognizes me like they do with her. Whoever Mare was, she was important. The guards on the train had recognized her, and now these students were fascinated with her presence. 

When most of them have left, she starts down the stairs to the pit of the auditorium. I hurry after her, avoiding the stragglers that run up the stairs to catch up with their classmates. 

Mare smiles as she steps into the brighter lights that illuminate the ground floor, and says, “Since when do they have you teaching more modern history? I thought you were teaching Understanding the Calamites.” 

The man that turns around to smile at her words makes me freeze. I would know him anywhere, those tired eyes and sorrow filled shoulders were always buried in books and hunched over charts. I stay by the stairs hidden by shadows, my heart pounding. He looks so old now, with lines in his face and his hair speckled with grey. You should look like that, my mind hisses, and yet here you are, twenty-two years young.

“That’s my class at four, perhaps you should sit in on it.”

“I would, but you know I can hardly sit still when you and Cal are going at it.” Mare teases as Julian turns around gives her a quick one armed hug. He pulls away quickly to start gathering his books. His words are rushed as well as his movements as he says, “Sara and I just got back from Horn Mountain last night. We got your message, although I’m not entirely sure what had to wait until I returned that you couldn’t tell me over the—“

He drops his books when he sees me, his skin going pale immediately. I feel my cheeks heat as I step into the light as well. He blinks for a moment, and his eyes drag over me while his mouth works. He wants to speak but he’s not sure what to say. Julian is not one for useless conversation either, he only speaks when he knows exactly what he will say. 

I wish Mare would have told us where we were going, at least then I could have planned what I would say. Instead of that though, I smile weakly and whisper, “Hello Julian.” 

Finally, he seems to find his voice, and it’s barely a wheeze as he chokes, “Cori?”

My heart breaks as his eyes water. Whatever guilt he is feeling, I wish he wouldn’t. He must have known what was happening with me, and guaranteed he hadn’t tried to really help, but he’d had so much on his plate already… 

He shakes himself from his stupor, and with tears running down his worn cheeks, he steps over the mess of books at his feet. It takes two long strides for him to close the space between us. I had expected him to crush me to him. Instead, he hesitantly reaches out and pulls me into a tentative embrace. He still smells like dusty books and worn paper. His whole body shakes as he holds me. He barely does though, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he squeezes too tight. I wrap my arms around him in response, my eyes completely dry as I whisper, “I always told you that squinting over all those books would give you wrinkles.” 

He lets out a choked sob, before he hugs me tighter. I close my eyes as I return the action. He runs his hand over my hair, and in time with each stroke whispers, “I’m so sorry, I’m so very sorry Cori.” 

My eyes fly open, and I pull away from him sharply. He looks about as embarrassed as I feel. I shake my head quickly, dispelling anything else he has to say. “I’m not angry with you,” I whisper while he wipes his eyes with the edge of his sleeve and looks at Mare over his shoulder. She’s sitting perched on the stole near the desk, taking an incredible interest in a bunch of crushed up chalk on the table, resolved to let us have our moment. 

“How is this possible?” My brother whispers as he looks me up and down again, as if he can’t believe I’m really standing in front of him. He turns to her though, waiting for her answer. 

“Figured you would know,” Mare says with a shrug.

“Does Cal—“

“He knows, we’ve met.” I answer for her, bringing Julian’s eyes back to me. His head falls to side just slightly, as his expression becomes sorrowful once more. “He’s become a man you would be proud of,” my brother begins, but quickly loses the words.  I smile weakly, and nod. Julian’s eyes fall to the floor and his books that are everywhere. He clicks his tongue and bends down to gather them up. I bend down and pick one up as well, turning it over in my hand. It has his name on it. I raise my brow at it before handing it to him. He smiles sheepishly, and in that expression, I can see the twenty-year-old boy I remember him being. He turns to put the books in a bag, and says, “I’ve… been busy with research.” 

I edge around him and then say, “And teaching. I never would have thought you would do that.” 

“Julian is one of the only professors here that is considered well versed in old era knowledge. He teaches the advanced class.” Mare spouts off as she pulls one of the books out of the bag to flip through it. Julian gives her a simple admonishing look, but his blush is obvious as he says, “Professor Calo is just as well versed if not more than I am.” 

Mare shrugs, and I smile bitterly as I say, “Father was always so worried that he was going to lose you to the academies.” 

My brother can’t help but smile as he says, “He turns in his grave every time I walk in here.” 

We both chuckle, and for a moment I am sitting in the garden at our old estate, with Sara at the table laughing with us. His smile falls quickly though, and the moment is lost to the dust. I look down at my hands before gesturing around us. “This place… I never would have thought something like it was possible.”  

“It was alive and well when we were children.” Julian says with a smile, happy to discuss history, something he can easily fall back on when he gets nervous. I look around the room, taking in all the charts and the maps to avoid his eyes and all these thoughts dancing through my head. Even without seeing me for years, Julian can read me easily. He turns to Mare and whispers softly, “Perhaps you could give us a few minutes.” 

“Take your time.” Mare hops off the stool, and makes her way up the stairs to the top of the auditorium.  She pauses for a half second though, and looking over her shoulder says, “But not too long, I need lunch and I promised Cal that I would meet him so he can complain about everything.” She continues up the stairs then. As soon as the door closes behind her, Julian turns to me and says, “You look the same as when I last saw you.” His voice breaks on the end, and he slowly sinks into the chair. He gives me a gentle smile though, trying to hide his pain like he always has. I stuff my hands into the pockets of my coat, and walk toward the board that is covered in his swirling script. 

He waits patiently for me to speak, but I grab the chalk and turn it over in my fingers to avoid having my hands at my side. 

“Cori,” he whispers softly, drawing my eyes. His lips are pulled into a tight line, and his expression is tired as he slowly turns in the stool to face me completely. I fidget with the chalk for another moment before whispering, “Not to be rude, but you’re so much older now.” 

He smiles, those lines near his mouth pinching as he does so. He folds his hands across his stomach and then says, “I happen to be only forty-seven for your information, which I would consider fairly young.” 

I grimace, but his smile keeps me from feeling too embarrassed. Setting the chalk down again, I reach up to massage my forehead. His smile falls as he sees this, and then whispers, “Which means you are now twenty-four years younger than me, instead of only two.” 

“I can do math Julian, I’m not that dumb.” I say carefully as I squeeze my hand into a fist. His face falls for a moment, and the anger that had been bubbling inside of me over the past two days, over missing everything, over losing everything, exploded out. Grabbing the chalk, I hurl at it him and cry, “How could you have let him do that?” 

He dodges the chalk by almost falling off the stool, and then says, “Who exactly are we talking about?”

“Both of them! Tibe and my son! He was never supposed to be a soldier! He could have died, Julian!” I cry as I advance on him and grab one of the books on the table. Swinging it, I manage to connect with his arm, which makes him yelp in surprise at the ferocity of my hit. He wrestles the book out of my hands before saying, “It wasn’t up to me! Cori, I practically left the royal house after Elara stepped in, and when Maven was born I wasn’t allowed anywhere near that boy, let alone Cal at times.” 

“You should have fought harder! You should have made sure that witch never touched my son! You should have made sure she burned for what she did!” I hissed as I tried to fish another book out of his bag to hit him with. He snatches it from my grip though, and placed them behind him before I could truly grab one. I result to my fists instead, trying to hit his chest and make him hurt the way I do. I want him to feel the bone aching agony in my heart. I’m smaller than him though, I’ve always been, and he easily wrangles me onto the stool he had been occupying before. 

His face is pale with blush, and he grips my wrists tightly so that I can’t swing anymore. His hands are shaking though, and his eyes are murderous. I’d never seen Julian so furious before in my life. His voice is like a whisper too when he says, “I tried, both Sara and I tried, Cori. Do you know what she did? She had them cut Sara’s tongue out for speaking about it. And she ordered ever blood healer in Norta to never help her.” 

My blood runs cold at his words, my arms slowly falling slack. He releases my wrists, letting my hands drop into my lap. 

“She refused my requests to tutor Cal, and she pushed me and Sara so far to the outskirts that we were hardly part of anything,” he turns with a sigh, shaking his head.  “I tried with Tibe, I really did. I tried to make him keep your wishes in mind, but you know him and what he would do when he saw something he wanted. Cal was already starting to show promise with strategy at a young age, and strength, and Tibe saw a son that he thought he could mold.” 

My shoulders slowly hunch, as that ache returns to my chest. In the silence that follows, I try to fight back the numbness that is creeping into my thoughts. All hope is not lost, I’m here now. Cal isn’t a boy anymore, and he obviously survived the war, and everything that happened. At great cost, but my son had survived. The past was the past; I would have never had control over his actions anyway.

“I’m so tired,” I whisper to him softly, as I set my head in my hand. I had hoped that with my return, without Elara being here, the nightmares would stop. But they were continuing, and they were almost worse than before. 

My brother sets his hand on my shoulder, and squeezes it reassuringly. “They’re going to want to know everything. Rori and her ilk, they’ll want to know how it happened and why it happened.” 

“I don’t know anything though, I already told them! I just remember the bathroom, and then… then darkness. Next thing I know, I’m waking up, laying in the mud and looking up at some trees.” I shake my head quickly, and try to ignore the headache that is building at the base of my skull. Any time I tried to think about that night I got a splitting headache. It was worse in Rori’s office, because I was trying to think about what had happened after the blackness. All I could come up with though, was the fact that I had woken up in the middle of the storm. 

My brother grimaces, and I glare up at him for a moment. 

“You want to know too I’m sure,” I grumble as I push off the stool. He chuckles to himself, and rubbing at his neck says, “I apparently haven’t changed much.”  

Huffing, I glance him over my shoulder and murmur, “No, you haven’t.”  (///////)

I could hear the discussion in the Barrow kitchen a few seconds before I was in the doorway. My son’s voice rising and falling over the sound of a kitchen sink reaches my ears first. Like Tibe, he doesn’t realize how loud he can be. Mare’s voice follows each of his pauses, and when I halt in the doorway, carrying my plate and the one I had grabbed on my way in, I can see them standing at the sink shoulder to shoulder. He passes her dishes that she dries, the two of them smirking at each other as they talk. 

“So you went on the run with them?” She teases, as she places a dish in the cabinet above her head. He grunts an affirmative, and then replies, “Yes, and I had to literally limp into the building and find a bathroom to collapse in and catch my breath. I’m twenty-five years old, and I felt like I was fifty.” She laughs outright at him, and then takes the next dish from him to dry. In the light of the setting sun, the two of them are framed by that light. Mare turns away for a second though, to toss her wet rag away. As she goes, he watches her. 

I freeze, recognizing that look. The way those amber eyes trace the lines of her shoulders, and catch on her profile. The way his lips quirk up just slightly at one corner. I knew that look, and it is both strange and painful at the same time to see it again. I had caught that look in mirrors when I saw Tibe over my shoulder.  

He drops another plate in the water and just as she turns around to look at him again, I clear my throat. They both flip around in surprise, Barrow blushing just slightly as she flips back around to dry a dish she’s already dried. 

“Sorry to add dirt to the pile,” I try to smile as I held up the plates to show them. Cal nods and crosses the room quickly to take it off my hands. His hands which I know should be warm, are burning hot. Probably from embarrassment, I realize. He wants to know how much I saw and heard, and what I think of it. 

“It’s nothing, dish duty is normally a lot worse,” he says as he turns away and drops those dishes in the water as well. Mare reaches in to take the other one, the two of them seeming to keep a magic foot of distance between them. I watch her for a moment though, taking in the tense muscles in their shoulders. A half second later, her mother calls her from the living room. She drops the rag with an exasperate sigh and then passes by me, making sure to duck her shoulder so that we don’t touch. I watch her go over my shoulder, and hear her calling back to her mother. 

“Everything okay?” Cal asks eventually, and I flip around in surprise before offering him a tight smile and saying, “I suppose I’m just tired.” 

“Mare mentioned you woke up with nightmare’s last night.” His words are carefully selected, but they cut just the same. I shouldn’t be surprised that she told him, but I still feel like a child. Shrugging, I take up Mare’s spot drying dishes. 

“They’re just night terrors, I dealt with them when I was… alive.” I shake my head, hating that the word seems so silly. He nods though, as if in understanding. He offers a plate and when I take it, he says, “I have nightmares about dad still, about what she made me do.” 

I tense in surprise, my blood running cold. Elara had apparently found a way to hurt me from beyond the grave, by going after my son. I glance at him hesitantly and whisper, “I’m sorry, for everything.” 

“You and Mare… honestly.” He murmurs as he takes the dish from me and opens another cabinet to put it away. I frown at his words, and he sighs before saying, “It’s probably Mare’s story to tell but… she has nightmare’s too, flashbacks. We all do. Hers have to do with Shade though.”   

“Shade?” 

“Her brother, he died during the assault that we led on Corros prison.” His words are a breath of cold air. It chills my bones to hear the word Corros. I had only been there once when Tibe was king. We had gone as part of the royal parade, a means of showing strength. I had hated every second we spent in that place. It had been like the cages in my nightmares, and after going there, it had taken their place.

“You both think choices other people make are you fault.” He sighs and shakes his head. Standing with my hand on my hip I spit, “Are you any better?” 

He starts, and I throw the towel on the counter before hissing, “You just told me you have nightmares about your father, and what Elara made you do.” “My situation is a little different,” His voice bites, and he narrows his eyes, “I killed him. Mare didn’t kill Shade, try as she might to prove that she did. And you did not start the downward spiral that led to the chaos.” 

I want to believe him, I really do. But it is my fault. If I had just had a little more backbone, and stuck it out in that dinner, I would have never met a prince with fiery eyes. He would never have fallen for me. Elara would have never felt slighted, and she would have been Queen. The monarchy would have still been around, even if it shouldn’t have been. And I would have died a lonely old woman on the Jacos estate, just like I should have. Just like Jessamine, my mind hisses. 

Shaking my head and forcing the thought away, I murmur, “I don’t want to argue about this.” 

“It’s not arguing,” He points out, and turns to face me with his hands on his hips too. For looking an awful amount like Tibe, he has some of my mannerisms, and it’s almost startling. 

“Please Cal,” breaking under his gaze, I whisper his name, the taste of it odd on my tongue. The last time I had said it, he had been a baby, barely a year old. I still could remember the first time I’d said it, the first time I’d laid eyes on him. Three miscarriages, and he was here, alive and strong. Shattered inside though, and he had let me see some of the pieces by telling me about his nightmares. 

He frowns, but mercifully, drops the subject.

[themadauthorshatter]

OTP Parent Headcanons!!!!!!

I'm focusing on Red Queen, SGE, and Nightmare Before Christmas, specifically in that order.

It's Valentine's Day, I'm bored, so here's a random OTP Parent post😅

Red Queen:

Cal cried when Shade and Coriane were born. Mare laughs thinking about it because she'd never seen him cry like he did before.

Mare taught them how to be quick with their hands and feet; old habits die hard.

Cal allows them to WATCH when he builds something, but not exactly help. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't want them to get hurt.

Neither ask "Why?" whenever told to do something because Cal gave them really scary "stop it" eyes.

They do as they're told.

Coriane has the Barrow's warm brown skin and Shade is just as pale as his father.

Mare occasionally lets them get away with murder.

When they were young, Cal would tell them they were going to get icecream whenever they had to go to the dentist. In their adolescence, both still get skeptical when the family ACTUALLY goes out to get icecream.

These two are fast and strong, joining their parents in training/workouts.

Neither bring up Uncle Maven. It's an unspoken agreement between them.

Catch for Cal and Shade is just them tossing a ball of fire to each other. The only time they use a real ball when it's Mare, Coriane, Cal, and Shade all playing together. There are no teams.

Cal had a heart attack when Coriane contemplated getting a tattoo. He saw his life flash before his eyes when Shade started examining his arms and wondering if he'd look good with some ink.

Cal and Mare are open with and accepting towards their children, Cal especially due to his grandfather having been a homosexual and his brother having been bisexual.

Mare is better about talking about her brother Shade, who her son Shade wishes he could've met. She agrees.

Mare left and came home and saw the uoung Shade and Coriane asleep on Cal's chest and shoulder, Cal also asleep.

Ruth WOULD NOT leave them alone when Coriane was born. It got a little better when Shade was born, but Mare literally had to tell her to leave them alone for a little bit.

School for Good and Evil:

Tedros was not allowed to see Agtha while their child was being delivered; the nurse didn't want him fainting or freaking out and causing Agatha stress.

It took two hours, but the baby was delivered and healthy for a newborn.

Agatha almost refused to let Tedros hold their son because she already loved him so much.

He had his father's golden hair and his mother's dark brown eyes, giving him a sharp, defined look.

Tedros made sure he would raise his son and be there for him.

He was.

Agatha was very good at teaching him how to read and write.

The kid has one hell of a throwing arm.

He's good with a sword, but he's better with a spear.

When people first see him, they say he's ugly. Upon closer inspection, and a longer look, they see his beauty.

Aunt Sophie keeps trying to get Agatha and Tedros to enroll him in the SGE. They have both agreed and told her that the more she nags them, the more they'll consider homeschooling, Agatha already buying textbooks that would ACTUALLY teach the boy something useful.

Sophie cannot leave this kid alone because she sees so much of her sister and friend in him.

He once called Aunt Sophie "Uncle Filip," and Sophie almost burst into tears when Agatha started cackling and Tedros.exe stopped working.

He likes cats and dogs.

Can't keep his hands off Uncle Hort's hair; it's just so warm!!!

Nightmare Before Christmas:

The only time Jack skipped Halloween was when he was spending time with his triplets.

Sally giggles at the mini Jacks that follow her and their father.

The mayor isn't as fussy with Jack as he used to be now that Jack has "cut it out" eyes. His aren't as scary as Cal's, because he doesn't want to traumatize his children, but it gets the job done.

Sally's better with discipline.

All three freaked out when Jack took off his head in front of them.

All three are beautiful singers.

There was a mishap in Dr. Finkelstein's office, and let's just say that he had red hair before going unconscious, and woke up with black hair 3 hours later. He forgot how it happened, but when he woke up, he smiled like a frazy person and said, proud and full of vigor from where he lay on the floor, on his back, "That was awesome."

Jack refuses to let any of his children go near Lock, Shock, and Barrel.

These were their first reactions to seeing snow for the first time: Fear and confusion, "I can't move in this, I'm cold, let me back inside!", and leaned forward and fell face first into the snow.

Sally never questions that Jack is a amart person, but she has genuinely worried that all three triplets inherited his critical thinking skills when one triplet ran into the wall and walked away like nothing happened, another spent five minutes trying to think of the word bagpipe, and the third drew put a plan to build a trebuchet so she could go to the moon.

Her worries were stemmed when one spelled the word arachnophobia correct on the first try, another picked up the correct herbs for a soup, and the third watched Jack do his self combustion, pumpkin king dance and said to Sally, "That's really dangerous."

All the same, she kept an eye and ear out for them.

Zero loves all three of these little nightmares.

Jack will not hesitate to go into attack mode if you get too close to his children.

An additional note with all three dads: Touch their babies, and they will kill you. None of them would even imagine raising a hand against their children.

[wingedeclipsed]

I’ve started re-reading Skyhunter so here is some nice incoherent appreciation under the cut :)

The prologue is a bit cliche but I know for a fact that my younger self would have worshipped it as the pinnacle of Depth and Badassery

Marie Lu really just said “I’m gonna take my descriptions to a whole new level of gorgeousness with each book I write” and then DID THAT

Despite him dying so early in the book I think Corian is a really important character- if I didn’t know he existed I wouldn’t understand why Talin is so loyal to Mara. He’s something for her to hold onto, like Metias and John.

With that said, screw Corian’s family. Everyone in this series needs large amounts of therapy.

The scene with her kneeling on the floor went SO HARD like “Trash. I know, logically, that I am not” and logic isn’t enough- ngl I came close to crying

I remember missing the part where she said the “typical” Maran hairstyle is a bun and now I’m imagining Aramin in like. Yi Sun Shin style armor with the scales and the huge sword and everything

Aramin has grey streaks in his hair?? *flashbacks to Hideo*

ADENA’S INTRODUCTION WAS SO WELL DONE. Her kind behavior towards Talin and the others made me a little worried about the “undeveloped best friend” trope on my first read but now I’m just giggling at this small cinnamon roll who could actually kill you. I wish she were my friend. Or my girlfriend I wouldn’t mind either

Actually every Striker is pretty much a cinnamon roll and a stone cold killer at the same time and I am in awe at how she makes the contrasts work so perfectly

I still don’t like how she chose to include that Red is still muscular after spending weeks in prison. I know we all rightfully judge creators for unrealistic female characters in adult media but some YA with its “bad boys” and undeveloped Alpha Male Love Interests (TM) that no boy could relate to is almost as bad. 

With that said it’s also great that Red’s appearance is kept kinda vague! There’s room for the reader to come up with their own picture of him. In general his descriptions tend to be more atmospheric 

At the end it’s really funny that Aramin goes from beating Red up to fighting by his side in like 2 weeks but in the present OW. OUCH. OW.

“Corian wouldn’t” 

“CORIAN WOULDN’T”

“You’re in charge of him now” <-- I know, logically, that this isn’t all that realistic, but I’m just cackling imagining Talin making the surprised Pikachu face at Aramin

That’s it for it now, pretty sure there’ll be a Part 2 because HOO BOY the next part with the dungeons DOTH GET CREEPY

There is also the mouse. The mouse is very, very important and must be protected and cherished at all costs. 

[anneedmonsonus]

Our Tiny Ensuite Bathroom Renovation – Seven Years Later

It’s been a while between posts, online friends. Time feels like it has flown past lately. When we all had to stay at home, the mornings and evenings felt a little slower, but the days still rushed past – and are still rushing past. I wonder if that’s normal for everyone who has kids? With two, it feels like the days go by at triple the speed.

I still can’t get over how fast the school days go by, either. Every day I drop Little Nerd at pre-primary (and Miss Nerd at day care, now that she is back to going two days a week) and I mentally plan out all the things I want to get done – I’ll answer emails, work, run, shower (goodness) do the grocery shop, tidy the house, maybe run a couple of errands – and am generally lucky to achieve three of those things. If anyone has any time-saving tips for maximising time with children, I’d be all ears! In a time when lots of people have lost income, I’ve also been grateful to be doing a little bit more work for the Sunday Times Magazine lately with a new column called Inside Story – a look at how Perth creatives and small business owners have been faring and adapting since COVID-19. I’ve been enjoying writing it but lately in general I’ve felt a bit more scattered, on some days downright foggy, that on some days no amount of exercise and coffee has been able to fix. Something that should only take me half an hour takes two. At first I thought, is this just me being weird? But I don’t think it is – I think it’s how a lot of people feel at the moment, a bit imbalanced and less focused than usual. Anyway, something has had to give lately, and unfortunately for me it has been blogging, and even posting on Instagram.

But, today I’m prioritising House Nerd (Full disclosure: I haven’t showered yet today. FERAL. Doing it for you guys cos I love you. Yes, I promise I’ll shower before I see the other parents at school pickup). And today, I want to share a post on our ensuite makeover – seven years after we renovated it. Because I know a lot of you wouldn’t have seen this when I shared it originally.

When we moved here, this was one of the first rooms we renovated properly – and by this I mean a full gut and retile. It was an old 70s bathroom with original brown tiles with pink roses on them. It was, well, not very nice – the kind of old bathroom where no matter how well you’ve tried to clean it, it just never FEELS clean. (This is my old post here, where you can see all of our ‘befores’). But in this post, I’ll share the photos I took today. And some gross befores, because everyone loves gross befores…… well I do.

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE. I know. We didn’t even properly replace the toilet roll for your visit. That’s how much of an energy drain this crappy bathroom was back then.

AFTER

We completely gutted it and replaced everything and I shared it then here. Mr Nerd and I were total newbies to renovating, and we both agree that since then we have learned a LOT about renovating through our experiences and mistakes, and if we were to do another house now, we think we’d probably approach a lot of things differently.

My personal taste now is also pretty different to my taste seven years ago. But when we look back on how we did this bathroom, I still feel good about it.

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As you can see, it is a SMALL ensuite. It is 1.75 metres by 1.75 metres (about 3m square or 30 square feet). The shower space is about 85cm x 85cm. Our house is a three by two, but when we were house-hunting, I remember seeing marketing material for the house that had it as a three by one.

Maybe it was an error. Or maybe it was clever marketing. Because I remember being at the first home open for the House Formerly Known as the Crap Shack, poking around in the main bedroom and going, “Oh wow, there’s another bathroom!” Which maybe I guess is preferential to being told a house has two bathrooms but then you open the door of the second bathroom and you’re disappointed cos it’s the smallest bathroom you’ve ever seen? I don’t know. Isn’t it nicer to NOT be expecting a bathroom and then you open a door and ta-da! Bonus bathroom! Like I said, maybe it was a mistake, but despite its lack of floor space, that Bonus Bathroom still scored some points at my end. Take my money, real estate agency. Yes, all of my money.

One day I’ll stop doing an awkward peace sign in photos.

Speaking of money. I shared on the blog (this is back in 2013) how much this bathroom renovation cost.

After, I got a few emails from people who said it was impossible to renovate a bathroom for under $8,000. Reading a little between the lines of those disgruntled emails, I’m guessing they were people in the industry who didn’t want their work devalued, for want of a better word, or to have potential clients coming to them saying, “Well how come my quote for a bathroom renovation comes to $12,000 but House Nerd girl’s bathroom reno only cost $8,000?” Which is totally understandable. In their defence, if you go to a professional renovation company or an interior designer, you’re paying for their experience, their speed, their trusted trades, things like their discounts from tile companies, the ease, the lack of risk (like no design mistakes… well – hopefully!) When you project manage it on your own, you’re taking a risk. By no means was I out to upset anyone by sharing our bathroom renovation or by breaking down what we paid for it.

However, as I pointed out (and as I had stated in my posts, but I’m not sure if they actually read them) they would have seen that we saved money in more than a few ways – we did some work ourselves to save costs, like we gutted it ourselves, we had a tiler friend who slowly worked on it on his weekends (obviously with a second bathroom, there was no rush).

I remember this dark winter night way back when – I think this was when the grouting was being done. Odd how in restrospect all those days of renovating that dragged into the night seem like fun now!

We bought all our fixtures from the same plumbing store that we really like (some will give you a discount if you do this) and it’s also a VERY small room – even though we used nice finishes like the travertine, of course you’re going to save when you don’t need that much. So can you renovate a bathroom for under $8,000 these days? I don’t know. But there are always ways to save if you really want to. If you want to save money you have to prioritise what you really want, and put time in to hunt around for what you want.

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Anyway. Almost eight years later, we’re still happy with this tiny room, and (to me, anyway) it hasn’t dated – everything as looks as good as it did when it was first done. We love the travertine most of all – the occasional upkeep of natural stone is worth it to us. Although it’s a tiny room, the natural stone makes it a feel a tiny bit special. I like the hob in the shower – hubby built a brick wall and then it was rendered and tiled, and it gives us a space to put bottles in the shower.

Products from Urban Skincare Co. We discovered this brand while staying in our Camperdown accommodation in Sydney  (the same accommodation with the REALLY BIG SHOWER, which I’ll tell you about in just a sec) and we both liked this stuff so much we ordered a box when we got home.

  I still like the white walls (it’s hard to see in the photos, but they are fully tiled in white rectified wall tiles, where the grout lines are so thin you can barely seen them) the custom-made vanity with Polytec doors, the Corian benchtop. Corian is an awesome material, and still feels kind of underrrated. It’s hardwearing and durable and has lots of nice colours. Once I left a can of hairspray on the benchtop, and the bottom of the can got wet and left a rust mark – you just buff it out and you can’t even tell.

Plant and planter from No Vo’s Home Nursery. You can buy Savon de Marseille olive oil soap from Hard to Find. Chloe from David Jones.

In hindsight, we might have done a few things differently, though. I would have insisted on paying more for the electrics so that when you turn the lights on, the exhaust fan doesn’t HAVE to go on.

I also might have put in a medicine cabinet above the toilet for a little bit more storage. If we were remodelling this same house now, we’d be more inclined to be a little bit more confident and think a little bit bigger.

This felt like enough at the time.

Sometimes we think it would have been better to forgo our walk-in robe (which sits alongside the ensuite) knock down the wall in-between the robe and ensuite, and instead create a bigger ensuite, then add a wall of robes into our bedroom instead. It’s such a simple luxury to have a spacious shower – we went on holidays last year and stayed in a self-contained apartment in Camperdown, and all four of us were basically awed by how big the shower was (yes, we are easily thrilled). But it was bigger than our entire ensuite! With double shower heads so we don’t have to fight over who gets to stand directly under the nozzle! Such decadence!

But, at the time, I wasn’t quite convinced it would be the best way to go, because our bedroom, too, is small, and adding a walk-in robe would have greatly eaten into the space (and doing the renovation this way would have cost more, in terms of additional labour, trades, materials and moving plumbing).

There you go! Have you ever renovated a room and thought to yourself down the track you might have done it very differently? Would love to know. Maya x

The post Our Tiny Ensuite Bathroom Renovation – Seven Years Later appeared first on House Nerd.

from Home Improvement https://house-nerd.com/2020/06/05/our-tiny-ensuite-reno/

[pavosystem]

its been a very long time since we did a system roll call. we’ve been kind of distanced from the whole concept of it lately, but even so, i think it’s undeniable that all of these aspects of our collective self hold significance, and are worth tending to. this is callon as guide today.

on a first impression, the grass is much yellower in headspace than usual. maybe because it’s fall in the meatspace, maybe because i’ve been neglecting my internal world.

in the main house, gabbi greets me tiredly. it feels like 2:30am. gabbi implies that ne has a duty to stay awake and take care of everyone, but i wonder if it wouldn’t be better for them to get some rest as well. floret and amelia are sleeping on the couch, curled up into each other. perien, also asleep, is in an armchair nearby, sleeptalking softly.

echo, in her usual chair, blinks at me and goes back to sleep. cilla, in their small form, curled up with echo, does not wake up.

nitexx, surprisingly, seems fairly animated and excited to see me. ze starts speaking quickly, but i can’t quite make out the words.

it’s difficult to know where rayn is, but i don’t think it’s missing. i get the impression that cyrren is tending to it from aer ship at sea. although i can’t quite get to the ship, i can vaguely project in that direction, and cyrren, like gabbi, is tiredly awake, tending to a duty that i don’t fully understand. ae assures me that all is well, that ae hasn’t let anything happen.

while i’m towards the sea, i pass by the vent that leads to ooze ocean’s domain, but it seems to be entirely dormant. i get the sense that vaccine has inherited much of void’s mission, and that gail’s continued worship of void is.. sufficient. void no longer needs to have presence here.

it troubles me to say that i have to check back with our directory to make sure i’m checking in on everyone, and not missing people.

ethan isn’t in the main house, but it’s possible that they’re sleeping, or that they’re visiting the tree house. haze is sitting up in er bed, clutching a fairly intimidating looking sword. e seems like e is preparing for something. staying awake through the long night so that daybreak doesn’t catch em by surprise.

the attic door in nessie’s room is open, and as i climb through it, i can see her, riley, and ceren sleeping on the floor, like high schoolers at a slumber party. they give off the impression that they don’t wish to be disturbed.

at the end of the hallway, remm’s door is glowing in its usual psychadelic ominous way. i’m acutely aware that ve is kin with lotus now. that lotus has always been a manifestation of vir and vir alone.

raliel seems to have gone to the mansion.

all the buildings’ basements seem to be connected now, like burrows of hibernating animals. where the main house used to have a rather unpleasant cellar below the kitchen, it now has a door through vex’s room, which leads to a long corridor, which eventually comes out to vaccine’s office. vaccine greets me with formal displeasure. i apologize for my absence.

vex is hunched over eir desk, and just when i start to think ey’s deeply sleeping, ey complains to me that i had better not write eir off. ey has been very busy, ey says.and i suppose that’s true. it’s unlikely that i could have drawn so much with just my own power.

jace and ginger seem to be one and the same, curled up catlike in their pile of pillows and electronics.

the room behind vex’s room, where venic often stays, is off-limits to me at the moment, but i trust that kye is still there.

back to azdien’s basement. (vector), who refuses to go by xyr previous name but has yet to decide on a new one, huffs at me indignantly, arms crossed. xe makes some rude gestures and flies just high enough to look down at me.

someone, and i’m not sure i can make out who it is, tells xyr it’s not worth the effort of taunting me. kazen, perhaps. yeah, kazen, in a shadowed back corner of the room, sitting down in such a position that i could easily imagine him with a gun, but he doesn’t have one at the moment. i get the vague impression that he doesn’t need one any more.

while i’m not in the treehouse, i can feel excitement emanating from it even here. grimnir has arrived some time ago, and is eager to make my acquaintance. giving in to their(?) excitement, tyto gives me a lift to the treehouse. nero immediately starts complaining that i’m late. the wolfdog on the worn-out couch seems to be more kitt than kaire today, but they’re different phases of the same creature, like phases of the moon. kayden, like grimnir, is excited to greet me. i’m a bit surprised to see kei again, in their usual corner, glaring at me but not seeming as angry as their face might make it seem.

i ask after ethan, and someone tells me that they’re changing right now. coccoon-like, unavailable. there is some confusion regarding the matter, interference from raliel or trysten.. raliel. vite is very much engaged with a racing game, and doesn’t turn around to greet me, but doesn’t seem unhappy about my presence either. it seems like the house has been teaching casey to play a card game, but it’s hard to tell if they’re still on ygo or if they’ve moved on to frogjuice and other party games. casey is pretty miffed at me for missing the most recent con. i promise ill get photos for her soon.

i head back to the mansion, on foot, but the time lapses and i arrive within what feels like seconds. percy opens the door for me. him and jochen stand back to back, both telling me off for neglect and jumping to conclusions. it seems like they’ve become two people, properly, but twins. tobias, as well, is like a brother to them, but doesn’t bother to greet me. instead, he stays in the library, reading about strategy.

azdien gives me a grand welcome when i enter the dining room, the effect of which is somewhat undercut by raliel, now kinning lorenz, babbling at me before azdien can even finish vaer greeting. drohen watches on in a way that could almost read as fond, holding a rather elaborate teapot.

i can hear darion snoring from two rooms away.

trysten seems to be sulking, a bit put out that raliel got a new kintype and ailecent did too, but it doesn’t seem like there’s anything new for sier. i reassure sier, and sie quickly bounces back, saying that of course sie knows im right, sie is fantasic regardless.

vivianne is in another room.. or perhaps more like a. patio/sunroom, which has just recently been constructed off the kitchen. there are butterflies in it. vae is seated, wearing a sweeping ballgown, and greets me with serenity. i get the impression that vae was waiting for someone else, and i ask who. i can’t hear vaer response, but i wonder if it might be kestrel.

kestrel, i realize when i think about it, had been in the library with tobias, just out of my sight beyond the bookcases. ae expresses some reluctance to leave, saying that vivianne’s greenhouse is terribly humid, but ae does head in that direction.

kisoquine, very much the same as neist now, is in the kitchen, as seems to be xyr habit. there are copper pots and pans hanging from a ceiling rack, and xe is fascinated with them, and xyr reflections in them.

micah is in their room, dark except for the blue lights on many of their computers. they’re tinkering with something, and don’t seem to appreciate my presence. when i ask what it is, i get the impression that they’re collaborating with aren.

aren, upstairs in his room, is in some sort of technological tank or pod, unconscious, waiting.

when i query after reik, im told that he was in the treehouse. did i not see him in there? surely it was him giving vite such trouble in that racing game. i suppose i was distracted.

next is the cabin. corian is sitting in one of their elaborate chairs, holding a cup of tea on their lap but sound asleep. nine, lying on the back of their chair, wakes up when i walk into the room, and compliments tyto on bringing me here. i thank tyto as well, and ey transitions into a more human form before heading into the basement to pick up some research materials.

i ask after nika. there’s some confusion. was sie not in the greenhouse with vivianne? no, sie wasn’t. maybe sie’s upstairs. i head up, and i don’t see sier, at first, just a stack of magazines on sier table. after a couple minutes of further confusion, i realize that the pile of white fluff on the couch is not a blanket, but rather, nika in the form of a ninetails, sleeping quite soundly.

downstairs, nine laughs at me. im a bit miffed that they didn’t say anything until i realized.

when i ask about ailecent, i’m told that ae is in the main house, having found a bedroom there, or perhaps a section of the attic. ae is struggling to find a new outfit that ae likes, now that red is perhaps part of aer colour palette. ae has striking silver horns, now, which suit aer quite well.

i head back down to the main room of the cabin. while i had been aware of people other than corain in the room, it had taken me a few minutes to recognize them. now that i’m not distracted by other questions, i can see elster, also asleep, sitting upright on the couch.

aether is curled up in a corner, seeming somewhat distressed. i’m not entirely sure what’s bothering cir. somehow, ce seems more gemlike than i had expected.

tyto finishes collecting eir books and comes upstairs. we walk together up the mountain to skye’s cabin, since it’s difficult for eir to fly with too much cargo. ey makes idle chatter about what’s been happening in headspace while i’ve been away, but i can’t make out the words.

before we reach the cabin, gail crosses our path. it seems to have some sort of warning for us, but i can’t decipher this either.

skye greets us warmly at the door, but doesn’t allow us to enter the building. or doesn’t allow me at least. tyto slips past, apologetically saying goodbye before ey disappears into the building.

aloe is hissing at me from a table inside, and skye explains that aloe isn’t alright with outsiders at the moment, and that includes me. i apologize for intruding, and skye apologizes for not being able to invite me in.

i head back down the mountain. up here, there is thick, crunchy snow up to my ankles. it disperses by the time i get back to corian’s cabin, but i keep going past that as well. the tree on which the treehouse is built is just starting to turn yellow for the year.

it’s my intention to round up percy and grimnir and bother them about names.

[cyclingthoughtsdesign]

  The industrial tour facilitated by the young furniture makers really should be renamed the luxury tour. Thanks to the sponsors of the trip, the furniture companies and factories who are the main contributors, also giving up their time and offering of expertise and advise for our future careers.

What an opportunity for us all, firstly it was like a well-earned luxury holiday because of the chosen hotel in Bolton, The Last Drop Hotel and Spa, ( thank you ) the huge bonus we all agreed is being with like-minded people with similar goals.

As a group of students, we were all on design courses mainly specialising in furniture design, however, that’s where the commonality halted ( although I did find my fellow cycling buddy who I could happily talk bikes and Alpe passes to.) Because of our differences, the conversation was interesting and diverse, swapping tales of university experiences, courses and often technical discussion of materials, machinery and the link to software design and hands-on designer maker.

A solid group of us enjoyed the facilities at the hotel, starting the day in the swimming pool and the outdoor thermal pool of which overlooking the Pennies, always a bleak but beautiful sight. Early start for breakfast with ample strong coffee to set us up for the day ahead…

My first day started at the Last Drop Hotel in Bolton (just outside of Manchester), a coach drive took us to our first destination the Furniture Village.

As future designers, it was a great opportunity to poke our noses behind the scenes of a big commercial furniture company. I was really impressed with the transparency of our host when talking about the company values and ethics.

Our host discussed the Furniture villages customer-centric business model and how that had recently had an influence on the change of signage, store layout and the way they as a company choose to allocate their marketing budget, because of their customer focus they seem to have a forward-thinking approach which keeps their products current and in line with what their customers want. The furniture village aims to provide high-quality home furnishings at prices their customers can afford, backed up with price match incentives.

The insight into the marketing into their business and what their customers wanted was immensely valuable to us as future designers. At Leeds Beckett, our design briefs often work alongside industry collaborations, companies like furniture village who are keen to give back, collaborations between industry and student helps makes designers and designs that are tangible to manufacture.

Some of the recommended additions to furniture design were USB charging ports and movement within the design. I love people watching and sure enough, the furniture in the store that was getting the most affection were the chairs that had lifting leg rests, span round to change position and view and a table that was designed using a bike chain as a movable part.

Other really interesting stuff: All the leather comes from meat consumed as food. How Brexit may have had a positive effect on furniture delivery times. and most importantly! home-baked cookies and hot drinks in store.

Our second visit was to a factory specializing in foam manufacture for upholstering.

Vitafoam is a pretty impressive place as its product polyurethane foam is key to the manufacture of furniture in the UK. Polyurethane foam has been used to upholster furniture since the 1960’s Vitafoam is an alternative to natural fibres such as hemp, wool and flax, and a preferred material for upholstery in places such as hospitals.

Our guide informed us all about the different qualities, densities and grades of foam this was communicated in the form of numbers visible on the foam ready to export. Different buyers of the foam choose the quality of foam they need relating to its use, for example, one of there main exports is to children’s skate parks, to fill the pits that the skaters fall in to after completing a ramp or trick, later in the tour we got to see how the foam was used in manufacture at Knightsbridge for use in high-quality commercial upholstered furniture. The factory has a pretty impressive CNC department, this means the foam can be cut and shaped to the bespoke needs of individual furniture manufacture and distributed, ready to use.

Day2: A trip to the spa at The Last Drop Hotel for a swim and to watch the sun rise over the Pennines, honestly just stunning! A hearty breakfast then an expertly driven coach journey for us all into Leeds.

Our destination; Harrison Spinks, established in 1840 and is a fifth-generation family business. Our tour guide was Dan a direct descendant of the founder.

The thing that struck me most about Harrison Spinks is their approach to innovation, it’s very inspiring! Adopting a vertical design approach (check out their story https://www.harrisonspinks.co.uk/story)

Their success in innovating unique spring technology has set them apart from any other bed company worldwide, however, it seems to me, so much more than the innovation partnered with the vertical design model that makes Harrison Spinks the go too for a luxurious nights sleep.

Harrison Spinks and the companies approach to sustainability; closed loop design partnered with vertical design has prompted the purchase of a working farm to provide much of the hemp and other natural materials needed for the natural fibres used in the matrasses, it’s innovations like this that I believe is the USP of Harrison Spinks, because not only are there matresses beggingly inviting and a pretty much guaranteed to give you the best nights sleep ever! The real beauty sleep for me is in the story, look at the link included. Fabulous Lunch! Thank you.

Road trip to CDUK CDUK LTD distributes the solid surface material DuPont™ Corian® to a network of trained fabricators across the UK. Corian® is the original solid surface material. Corian is right up my street as a designer interested in sustainable materials, Corian is made from waste materials from the Bauxite process that otherwise would end up as unused waste (landfill).

Corian was brought to the UK as the original solid surface material primarily to be used in kitchens and bathrooms surfaces. The portfolio of uses for Corian is growing, I think this is the outlook of CDUK LTD and the team’s creativity, their initiatives to train and share with like-minded creatives and students like us. Some of the uses so far are cladding for buildings; furniture, for the home and outside, and far more. http://www.cdukltd.co.uk/gallery.php?p=gallery&s=corian The material is warm to the touch, it feels tactile and organic. Corian comes in flat sheet form and is light in weight, but strong with some flex when backlit with LED light Corian is transparent. Partner the qualities of strength, transparency with manufacturing technique CNC and the pattern options are endless and stunning! I can’t wait until my training course. Thank you all so much for an educational, hands-on and inspiring afternoon.

23 students like kids in a sweatshop!

The night before we had an early dinner and most of us opted for the spa post-dinner, [not the public house] the focus was to keep a clear head for the visit to Knightsbridge furniture makers in Bradford.

The coach journey in the morning was interesting, as the coach took us through what would have been some very affluent areas in its heyday when the textile industry of Bradford was in full flow.

Bradford is going through a massive regeneration, the old factories and warehouses making the perfect modern apartments.

Stepping into the showroom of Knightsbridge was like being in one of those plush apartments. The big open plan room, high ceilings and big windows work perfectly with the modern furniture that was laid out before us. The best bit! We were all encouraged to move around experience, sit-on and inspect the furniture. The workmanship of the pieces was just incredible and reflected in the pride of their designers and the workforce that supports the manufacture of the furniture.

Jason Brown, development director was our group’s guide. My personal interests are how business and products are made sustainable and ethically and remain commercially viable, Jason Brown was the perfect person to show us around as Jason genuinely cares and is passionate about the impact that product build has on the environment and the balance that has to be found when seeing a design through to manufacture.

All the wood is FCA, the purchase of the wood is calculated to maximise quality, my favourite bit was how the manufacturing process uses waste wood as fuel for heat and power which operates much of the machinery.

The Machinery: Jason and the team are clever fello’s! As we were shown around the factory where all the pieces of the furniture where made, I was astounded at the can-do attitude, the innovation into manufacture and the new, or adapted machinery so a new part of furniture could be produced. I really enjoyed the overflowing enthusiasm from Jason to have a go at adapting, and making new manufacturing processes to produce new innovation, this style of innovation is something I love doing myself.

There was so much more to our tour I genuinely could write a book about it! I enjoyed seeing the whole process; design, prototyping, manufacture from a lump of wood to precise manufacture and high-quality finishing and polishing techniques, application of foam (from Vitafoam) and the upholstery techniques that give the important finishing touches.

Our tour ended back in the spectacular showroom and a right spread of a lunch, Thank you.

Throughout the week, we were treated like royalty. A massive Thank you to Damilola Bamidele, Grants and Education Manager at The Furniture Makers’ Company, for all your hard work.

        Young Furniture designers 2018 The industrial tour facilitated by the young furniture makers really should be renamed the luxury tour.

[lilyharvord]

Song of the Phoenix Part 1/??

A new fic series I have come up with. It should be a similar length to Red as the Dawn and Silver as the Sword and Gold as the Crown combined, but in one whole fic. I’m super excited for this, and I have been working on it for months, fixing plot holes and working around new plot from the actually canon books. Anyway, this is the all hands on deck fic I was talking about. 

Enjoy children, it’s story time.... ((((((: 

After being with Mare Barrow for over five years, Tiberius Calore the Seventh, had decided that not only did she enjoy making love during lightning storms, she seemed to channel that energy into the whole act. It usually left him breathless, and half dead the next morning though. She had never seemed too bothered by any of it, in fact, she always seemed to get up happier than when she went to bed.

           Tonight had been no different from any of the previous nights, except for the fact that the storm had been loud and had lasted for over four hours, from the moment they had sat down to eat dinner until long after they had finished the act. Mare had slept through the worst of the storm it seemed, but Cal had tossed and turned through the whole thing, somehow not able to sleep. Eventually, he had gotten up, determined to simply sit in the small kitchen and watch the rain. Mare was still asleep when he left the bed, with her hair spilling across her pillow, and her arms tucked under it to support her head. His lips quirked up in the slightest of smiles at that, and he watched her to make sure she didn’t wake up as he dressed slowly and closed the door behind him.

           Their small house was worth it, the upstairs consisting of only their bedroom, and a guest room, while everything else was on the ground floor. But the cost was made up with the garage that he spent almost all of his free time in, doing exactly what he loved. He’d refurbished over six vehicles since the end of the war. The first one had been an excuse to avoid everyone, but eventually a few later, it had become something that helped both him and Mare. Now, she came down and learned from his steady hands, and her nimble ones made it easy to reach into the tight cracks between belts and valves. She hated getting her hands dirty with the grease and oil, but she still came down to help him when she wasn’t off doing her own job. She had been offered a position as a trainer for the New Bloods, but she had laughed in Davidsons’ face and had promised him that she would keep herself out of trouble. Now, she worked in a small power plant, keeping the machines running, and the electricity in the small town pumping through the wires. He visited her when he wasn’t working in the mechanic’s shop, and she’d spend hours telling him about each and every little gear that broke and she had to fix. Sometime, she called him to fix them.

           There was nothing miraculous about them anymore, and he and Mare had found that they liked it like that. There always were the odds and ends people who arrived in the little town with a broken down transporter, who gapped and stammered when the saw him covered in grease fixing their engine. And there was always the group who passed through the town and stared when he and Mare went to the little café in the center of town to have dinner together. He supposed that was earned though. It was strange to see legends sitting at the table across from you bickering about who’s turn it was to the laundry, and over which dessert would be better to have.

           Sinking into one of the rickety kitchen chairs, Cal looked out at the dark landscape. A flash of lightning illuminated the acers of land that were behind their property. Once, he had imagined small children running around that space, all of them screaming and laughing. Mare had never mentioned that she wanted children though. He wasn’t about to push it on her, he knew how she felt. He knew about the nightmares that she sometimes had. About waking up screaming for her brother, or for people who were long gone. Those nights were always the hardest. She normally sat in the bay window of their bedroom and stared out at the horizon until the sun rose on those nights. He couldn’t imagine asking her to try and bring something so small and defenseless into their lives. Something that could so easily be killed or hurt. 

           Maybe he should ask her about it though, it certainly wouldn’t hurt. He sighed as he set his head in his hand then. On second thought, maybe it was a better idea to eat. At least then, he could think about the whole idea of even bringing it up to her.

Could they even afford kids? He thought bitterly as he rose from the chair and made his way to the counter. After all, being an electrical technician or mechanic didn’t exactly leave them in a surplus of wealth. They made ends meet though, they had food in the cupboards, and were never hungry, something Mare was always trying to avoid. They had heat during the winter, and during the summer, they could fling all the windows of their home open to catch the breeze without worrying about thieves. They had what they needed, but if something, or rather, someone, got added into the mix, would that still work out the way it did?

Sighing, he reached for the light switch next to the doorway and flicked it up. The bulb overhead flickered for a moment, and then went out. Frowning at that, Cal squinted up in the dark at it, and saw that there was still a tiny pulse of light, but it was as if the bulb itself had been dimmed, like some of the energy was being sent elsewhere. He sighed again. Mare had probably been fooling around with the thing earlier, and had done something and not told him, typical.

He shuffled through the semidarkness then, which was broken only by the repeated flashes of lighting. The storm must have been directly overhead by this point, he thought as he opened the cupboard and pulled out a mug. He filled it with water, and then turned to open another cupboard to get some of the tea out. As he did though, his eye caught movement out the window. Squinting through the dark and the sheets of rain, he could just barely make out what looked like a stumbling figure, wrapped in a blanket.

“What…” he began to ask himself as the figure slowly came closer, stumbling through the edge of the trees and into the open view of their backyard. The wind and rain threw them back and forth and he watched hesitantly for a few seconds wondering if his tired mind was playing tricks on him. A few seconds later though, they tripped in the open space and collapsed into the mud. 

Cursing softly, Cal dropped the mug without thinking and sprinted for the door that attached the kitchen to the back porch. The mug shattered on the ground as he sprinted out into the rain.

He was soaked in seconds, and his bare feet were freezing by the time he got to the huddled figure on the ground. He crouched down over them and then shouted over the crack of thunder, “What the hell do you think you’re doing out in the middle of a storm like this?”

Whoever it was, was a young woman, who couldn’t have been any older than him. She mumbled something to her pale hands which were squished into the mud. He pulled her to her feet, the coarse fabric of the cloak she was wearing rubbing against his hands. She shivered, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders before bringing her toward the house. When he glanced up, he saw Mare standing on the porch with his jacket on while she shielded her eyes from the rain. Seeing that he was half carrying someone toward the house, she opened the porch door and hurried inside. The light in the kitchen didn’t come on though.

As he reached the top of the porch steps with the young woman, he paused outside and demanded again, “What are you doing out in the middle of the storm like this?”

She shivered and mumbled something incoherent. Shaking his head at that, Cal turned her to face him and asked, “Who are you? How did you find your way out here?”

Slowly, as if in a daze, the woman lifted her head. She brought delicate fingers up and pushed her wet hair out of her eyes. Her irises were pale brown, like dirt that was on its way to drying after the rain. She opened her mouth to speak, but froze as she took him in. Her eyes widened and her jaw slowly went slack, just barely though, enough to make her thin lips open in a startled expression. Those eyes widened and she closed and opened her mouth in surprise before whispering, “Tibe?”

Shaking his head in surprise, Cal scrunched up his brows and replied, “That’s not… how did you… how did my father tell you… my father’s dead.”

The woman’s eyes widened even further and she blinked for a heartbeat before replying softly, “Father,” her voice broke, and he saw her eyes water as she choked, “Cal?”

Frowning, he pulled away a little more, shocked that she knew who he was. Maybe she was one of the people who lived in town and she had seen him around. He doubted it though, this town was tiny, and everyone who lived here knew everyone. He would have seen her before.

“What the hell are you doing?” Mare’s voice rose above the pounding of the rain on the roof. She stood in the doorway, holding almost all of the towels they owned in her arms. “Bring her inside!” Mare shouted as she held the door open. 

Shaking himself out, Cal grabbed the woman’s arm and brought her inside. She wouldn’t stop looking at him with that look though, like she was looking at him in an entirely different light. He guided her into the small living room they had, and slowly helped her to sit on the couch. She gripped the edges of her soaking wet blanket tightly in her hands and watched him as he backed away and grabbed from the pile of towels Mare had thrown on the ground. Upstairs, he could hear the water running. Mare must have drawn a bath.

He dared a quick glance at the woman on the couch, and caught her staring at him again. She was looking him up and down, a curious sort of look on her face. He looked away quickly again, unsure what to think of feel, he knew deep down, knew what this was, knew who she was, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to really acknowledge it. It just wasn’t physically possible. Yet, here she was.

She looked up at him, and then whispered, “Cal…”

He pulled away again though, and shaking his head he said, “You can dry off, I’ll… go get you some tea.”

He hurried away, his heart in his throat. He kept shaking his head, thinking that he was just seeing things. But there was no mistaking it, the shape of her eyes, he had seen that same eye shape every morning when he looked up in the mirror. Had seen it in countless portraits too. 

As he passed into the kitchen, he shivered, and had to lean against the counter to think. His head was spinning, and he wondered if it was because his heart was racing so fast that he couldn’t breathe. This whole thing was impossible, it was a trick of the light. He was tired, it was completely logical that he was just… dreaming. Maybe he had fallen asleep, and he was going to wake up any second.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to make himself wake up, tried to make himself snap out of this. Shaking his head rapidly, he murmured, “Just wake up, just wake up.”

He felt a soft hand on his lower back and jumped, his head snapping around as his hand came up to grab the hand that had touched him. Mare watched him in surprise and then whispered, “Cal… what’s wrong?”

Dropping her hand quickly, he grabbed the tea kettle, and hurried to the sink to fill it with water. He could still feel Mare’s eyes on his back though, and he looked out the window at the backyard, and the pounding rain. At least the lightning had stopped though.

“Cal,” Mare choked as she quickly turned the faucet off, and pulled the overflowing kettle out of his hands before setting it in the sink. Taking his hands in her own, she asked, “What is wrong? What is going on? Why are you acting like this?”

He glanced beyond her at the doorway and then said, “I need to wake up.”

Rolling her eyes at his comment, Mare reached up and slapped his cheek a few times, not enough to hurt, but enough to jar him. Stepping back, she quirked her brow and said, “Are you awake now? Because guess what, we have a random woman sitting in our living room, alone, because you left her there.”

“She’s,” he paused and then looked back at the doorway for a moment before shaking his head quickly, unable to continue. Mare reached up and cupping his cheek gently she asked, “She’s what? Do you know her?”

“I, I think so, I’m not sure though.” Cal murmured as he broke free from Mare’s grip. Glancing at the kettle he whispered softly, “Can you make some tea, I’m going to… go talk to her. Ask her where she’s from and how she got here.”

Nodding in understanding, Mare turned to the stove and began setting up to make tea. Cal watched her for another heartbeat for heading out into the living room again. The woman was slowly toweling off on the couch. Her hair hung in limp brown strings around her head. She still had the blanket wrapped around her body though. He approached her slowly and then said, “Mare’s making some tea right now, and I think she drew you a bath upstairs. If you want I can take you up there and get you some dry clothes to wear.”

The woman looked up at him, her eyes soft as she tilted her head to the side slightly. Suddenly her expression was pained and she whispered, “you look just like him,” rising from the couch, she pulled the blanket tightly around her and then reached out to him, “but you are taller, Sara promised you would be.”

Cal pulled back quickly from her hand and watched her in terror. She knew Sara, the evidence was mounting against reality and for a moment, he really did think he was dreaming. Shaking his head at her words, he said, “Sara, you know Sara Skonos?”

The woman looked physically wounded by his words, and her lips drew into a tight line as she said, “Of course I knew Sara, she is…was my best friend.” The correction took her a little bit to figure out, but it had been made all the same. Swallowing past the knife in his throat, Cal glanced away and then whispered to himself, “I need to wake up.”

“Then I do as well,” The woman whispered, her eyes watering as he pulled further away from her. Shaking her head softly she sank down onto the couch again and whispered, “I never, I never thought that Tibe would, that he would keep me from you, keep who I am-“

“I know who you are,” Cal wheezed, because at this point his throat was filled with lumps the size of his fist. He could barely breathe around them and the fist that was gripping his chest in a vice. She watched him for another second, before whispering, “why are you so afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid, I’ve seen plenty of messed up shit in my life to not be afraid of you, but you’re… you’re dead, you died almost twenty-four years ago.”

Her eyes widened, and she glanced out the window at the storm, her eyes watering as she whispered, “I don’t remember that day, I don’t remember any of it.”

Breathing heavily around the band that was wrapping tighter and tighter around his chest, Cal choked, “You, you…” He couldn’t even bring himself to say it, couldn’t bear to tell her the truth of that day. All he could muster was, “You died, you died and left us.”

Behind him, he heard something shatter on tile. Flipping around he saw Mare standing in the doorway to the kitchen, the mug of tea she had made was shattered on the floor and the liquid had exploded everywhere as she took both of them in.

“Forgotten gods,” Mare croaked as she walked to Cal, stepping over the tea stain. She grabbed his arm and then whispered, “I know who you are… I’ve seen your picture.”

The woman looked at the two of them and then whispered, “Where is your father?”

“Dead,” Cal replied as he turned his head away. How was this possible, how was any of this possible? She was dead, and had been dead for his entire life, how could she possibly be back now?

“Coriane,” Mare whispered the name like it had a power stronger than what pulsed through her veins, and in the moment it did, “Coriane Jacos, the Singer Queen.”

She flinched at the title and then looked away at the fabric of the couch as she whispered, “That is what they called me, yes.”

Mare’s grip increased on Cal’s arm as her eyes widened and she gasped, “But you’re dead, you’ve been dead-“

“I’m well aware of what I have been for the past twenty-four years.” Coriane whispered, but that whisper carried the power of a queen behind it. Mare flinched at the biting tone, it had been so long since she had heard something like it. Looking them both over again, Coriane whispered, “And who are you exactly.”

“Mare Barrow,” Mare’s voice was soft, but panicked as she tugged Cal toward the kitchen and whispered, “we need to talk, we need to talk right now.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Cal replied as he turned and pushed Mare into the kitchen and closed the door behind them. Mare paced at the counter and then flipping around on Cal, the lightbulb overhead flickered and buzzed as Mare’s worry manifested as power, as she hissed, “Your dead mother is sitting in our living room looking very much alive!”

“I am well aware!” Cal reply was in the same tone but both of their voices rose in magnitude as their panic fed each other’s. Gesturing behind himself in surprise Cal said, “I didn’t exactly realize that until I looked dead at her though! Now you know why I was having an anxiety attack in here before you came in.”

Shaking her head Mare replied, “It’s not possible, she should be almost…fifty years old! She looks like she’s the same age as Gisa!”

“I mean that is how old she was when she-“ Cal couldn’t get the words out again, and shaking his head he said, “This could be a scam, she could be playing a part and is leading someone to us right now.”

“That seems a little extreme, even for this entire… situation.” Mare replied, her panic subsiding as she sat down at the kitchen table. She watched Cal for a heartbeat before looking at the door out of the kitchen. “We should… let her take a bath, and settle. I’ll get her set up while you… call Davidson, or Farley… or whoever the hell is going to pick up at this time in the morning.”

Cal nodded, and Mare swallowed before she stood up. She glanced at the puddle of tea on the floor by the door and then said, “We also might need to buy more mugs…we broke two of them this morning.”

@mareshmallow, @amessofposts, @marecalrandomstuff, @inopinion, @chaoslaborantin, @redqueenfandom, @anyone-anything-canbetrayanyone, @scarletguardsource, @war-storm, @selenbean-beany, @clarafarleybarrow, @caloresblood, @marecalonly, @naercxy

[lilyharvord]

now i want to know what the fic idea is

(i just love corianne barrow calore)

(i also love your writing)

((((((((: are you sure??????? It's little unhinged even for me....

WHO AM I KIDDING, IT'S COMPLETELY UNHINGED. ENJOY CHILDREN.

-20+ years after broken throne, the war of red thunder is pretty much at a fucking simmer. It’s over. There is nothing else to fight over. Coriane Barrow Calore is like 17 or 18. She worked during the war as a spy for Elane Haven, and she is the BEST at what she does. She can become anyone or anything. Elane calls her "her chameleon". She is who is sent in to do the hard jobs. And she’s back from the front (her parents had no idea she was behind enemy lines in the first place). She saw some shit though that is burned into her retinas and she cannot tell anyone or she’ll give away her position and the fact that she was the spy that got the plans for the Citadel out of the Lakelands so that it could be sacked. 

-She’s pretty much floating through with her own little bundle of PTSD, trying to not give it away to her parents or younger brother. Then the unthinkable happens, and (I’d have to work it out more but for now just roll with it everyone) Maven is back. Or he’s never been dead. Obviously unthinkable for everyone, Mare and Cal included. They need to know for sure though, so what does Elane do? Call on her one and only best spy, who conveniently works perfectly for her plan. 

-what is that plan? Well, it’s of course to uses a healer to disguise Coriane as a carbon copy of her mother, obviously she will not pretend to be Mare, but she will keep up the facade that she is Mare’s daughter, but a copy of her. Elane’s ultimate goal? Scare the shit out of Maven, and put Coriane in a position where she is close enough to spy, get information about what he wants, report back, and keep an eye on whatever it is he is doing. 

-Mare and Cal obviously refuse, Mare the most, when Elane suggests the idea. Coriane agrees to the mission, in front of her parents. Which turns into the truth about her coming out, and her parents being horrified. Mare is furious, demands to know why, demands to know why Coriane kept this a secret from them, etc. etc. Coriane pretty much leaves in the dead of night after that and goes to Elane and that night they change her whole face. Listen its kind of traumatic for Coriane. She’s always looked like Cal, with the hair, and the eyes, etc. When she looks like a younger version of her mother she is almost pained by the vision of it. 

-Then she gets shipped out and she very easily finds Maven (he’s not exactly hiding). She’s got a pretty damn convincing story for why she sought him out (her only little fib is that she’s the younger sibling, that her brother is older and well, you know how Maven is about second siblings). She is allowed to hang around, but Maven’s not stupid (obviously), he keeps her at arms length. Keeps her just close enough that she might give herself away as a spy if she’s not careful, but Coriane (as I said previously) is very good at what she does. She molds herself a new personality, becomes an entirely different person, a made up person who is perfect for Maven to trust. 

-One scene that’s going to be one that ya’ll will be reading and going: "lily... lily... LiLY, LILY NO, NO NO NO no, NO absolutely not. If what I think is happening is happening, it better not be 😟" is as follows: it’s pretty much just a scene where it’s her and Maven alone, and she’s looking out a window at the rain, thinking about the fight she had with her parents right before she left, wondering if she’s gone too far with this (she wanted to keep as much of herself in this fake person as possible, but now she doesn’t know who is the real coriane and who is this made up one anymore). She sees her reflection in the mirror, and ends up crying a single tear because she doesn’t recognize herself anymore. She meets Mavens’ eye in the reflection and they start talking and have a pretty legitimate conversation about things, about everything, about her, and in a round about way, she sort of tells him the truth that she doesn’t know who she is, etc. Which, listen, he eats that shit up, because of course his perfect brother and Mare fucked up their child like that, it fits his narrative of their relationship. But he gets kinda too close to coriane, and tucks her hair behind her ear, tells her that she reminds him of Mare, etc. It’s a little uncomfy folks, deal with it. He doesn't do anything, just makes her freak out a bit, and gets a little to close for comfort. But that is the moment when he trusts her completely. And now she is in. But at the cost of the fact that she realizes just how obsessed with her mother he was. It scares her. 

-She’s also run into her parents with him in her little disguise. And of course Maven couldn’t resist taunting them with her, and he does this kind shady thing, where he walks around her, shifts her hair away from her neck and smirks at them. Of course Mare crumbles, that’s her baby, she knows Coriane even with a false face.

-She makes a mistake. It’s during a moment when again, maven gets just a little too close. At this point, she’s figured out he’s got a very massive webbing plan where he is going to use a bunch of different loop holes in different treaties etc. to destroy the peace her parents, family, and their friends have built. But the mistake is made by Coriane and a healer pretty much undoes the work elane’s healer did, revealing Coriane’s real features. 

-Coriane and Maven are alone after that, and he watches her, pulling her apart little by little with his words. Of course, the groups come together cause Coriane sounded the alarm and there is a massive battle out there around them. The people Maven was working with want her dead, want to put her head on a spike and use it to put Mare and Cal on their knees. They demand he gives her to them before they leave to deal with the threat outside. Maven is deciding what to do with her though when she manages to get loose. They have their own little scuffle, which ends up with Coriane killing him (up to interpretation if he lets her, or if she actually just overpowers him). While he’s bleeding out, he looks up at her and says, “I never would have given you to them. Not for anything.” She moves away from him, holding whatever she used to kill him, and cries (she’s never killed anyone before, only stolen information etc.). She looks up when he says, “dont cry. You’re perfect.” (listen this is the tiktok someone sent me, and the song Alien Blue plays right after with the Shame Shame Shame part and I hatched this fic from that). And in that moment, she realizes with horror what those words mean coming from him, as he bleeds out and officially dies. (sorry Maven stans. ): ) --> it’s got a few meanings... one that she looks just like her father and is perfect because of that, or that she reminds him so much of her mother that she is perfect because of that. OOOOR that she was so perfect in her little facade that she did fool him, as in she reminded him so much of himself that he let her in and let her get close. 

-she get out and finds her parents and while they are reunited, she is pretty much left with his words echoing in her head. It's a super dramatic scene. She falls to her knees, they collapse around her, holding her close, demanding to know if she's hurt, where he is etc. But she just stares off into space, and drops the weapon covered in his blood while those words echo in her mind. ((((:

-> listen this fic is just Maven getting to traumatize Mare and Cal's child unintentionally, and Coriane getting to take center stage. It’s also just a chance for me to have Coriane play a game of cat and mouse with him without letting him know they are playing that game. It's a chance for Maven to be an unstoppable force that meets Coriane aka the immovable will/object. It’s also a chance for me to write a Maven who has been in hiding for 20 years and has had those 20 years to plan and scheme and just all around become a silent kind of unhinged.