#also can i just say having ur comment on youtube blow up is like. the worst

[jennilah]

girl help theyre recognizing me in youtube comments LMAO

[familyfriendlyweed]

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

 Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

 it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

 Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

 for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

 in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

 a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

 Y/n answered :

 thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

 she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

  ~~~~~time skip~~~~~

  Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

 slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.  

 finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

 Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

 "hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

  a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened -  she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[tarantulas4davey]

BACK AT IT WITH THE YOUTUBER RALBERT

one day, race interrupts a stream by kicking the door open and is like “GUESS WHO’S BIRTHDAY IT IS!” and al kinda tackle hugs him saying “happy birthday babe!!! love you!!” and race is caught so off guard for a few seconds he forgets that he came in there because it was AL’S birthday

race builds him the worst looking cake in minecraft (like he makes a cake of different blocks n stuff) and al looks like he’s near tears bc it’s so sweet but also it looks so bad that al’s spent the last five minutes practically crying of laughter

al complains about it being really hot in the room in the summer and race is like “hey comment yes if you want al to take his shirt off” and the comments blow up and al turns bright red and hes like RACE

a few months later al is getting way more comfy with his image and he starts a stream shirtless because it’s literally stupidly hot and race walks in and freezes and literally does not move for seven minutes before he just. tackles al. twitter and the comments are living for it

twitter is OH MY GOD AL IS SUPER HOT and HAHAHA DID YOU SEE RACE’S FACE and AL WE’RE SO PROUD OF YOU THATS SUCH A BIG STEP WE LOVE THE CONFIDENCE

race is exactly the same

race has the newsies come over and they play truth or dare and race and al get dared to do 7 minutes in heaven and jack laughs and hes like don’t worry we’ll mute the video and race cracks up but al looks scandalized

(they don’t end up needing to mute the video)

race is like “al can you grab me a cup of water” and al is like in a minute babe let’s finish the game first and race just kinda stops and (like the overdramatic king he is) proceeds to shoot and kill al

race: if you notice any awkwardness in this video it’s because me and al broke up

al, frustrated: no we didn’t!

race: you shattered my heart when you told me the most cats we could get right now was three

al: you wanted seven!

race, nodding: A REASONABLE NUMBER

in one of race’s videos, al is like half asleep and playing with race’s hair and he’s like “i love ur curls they’re so pretty and you’re so lovely” and race kind stutters for a minute bc al’s sleepy voice is super deep and racer.exe has stopped functioning, please try again in a few minutes

izzy i’m dying you’ve written so many good ones djdhksbdnd

- albert says happy birthday to race with so much conviction everyone genuinely forgets it’s NOT race’s birthday and this is how you know al is super good at lying in among us cause even race believes him for a minute

- the ‘awww that’s really cute’ tears turned into ‘i cant stop fucking laughing’ tears in about 2 seconds flat because it also vaguely looks like the cake race made him in middle school (which was ALSO super tragic, it looks like a melting pile of frosting)

- al just shoves race’s head off camera and goes bright red. he let’s chat go for a minute then just sighs and rolls his eyes and goes “at least buy me dinner first” and race cackles

- y e s they live in LA there’s like a full month ever summer where it’s no less than 98 degrees so why would he have more clothes on than he has to? race walks in and Stops Functioning™️ and chats just like “YEAH THATS HOW WE FELT” and everyone is living for the confidence

- shirtless stream is ALSO how they found out albert started his next tattoo cause he literally has the ironman arch reactor tattooed in the middle of his chest and he has a whole marvel chestpiece planned and someone comments about how attractive it is and race just goes “😳 i know right” cause he’s more of a simp for al than any of their fans

- al looks scandalized for a second before he starts laughing to himself and jack is just like ‘🤨’ and through his laughter al just goes “don’t even worry about it, i’m not the loud one anyway” and race hits him in the back of the head

- race just makes eye contact with the camera, turns in the game, and shoots al in the back of the head. al pouts about it for like 10 minutes (after he goes and gets race water, of course)

- RACE WOULD. he wants to be the young male version of a crazy cat lady and albert is killing his dreams because of “responsibilities” and “landlords” and “a lack of time or energy”

- YES. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, sleepy al for the win. (im gonna add my phone voice hc to this now cause ✨why not✨) also once al was doing a 24 hour charity stream and race had left to run an errand or something so al ordered them food so race could pick it up but it was a local business so he had to call and twitter just obsessed over his phone voice for MONTHS after. he started meme-ing it cause he’s never gotten the thing with his voice but race just sees it and tweets “guys sometimes i call him while i’m out just for the voice jdhwhdhd” and twitter looses it

i love them sm rishjehdbs they’re seriously all i think about

[wiener-soldiers]

Hey sorry if Ur requests aren't open but could I request one where Peter and the reader go to some of the haunted locations from BuzzFeed unsolved (the reader being a boogara and Peter being a Shania) they record it and post it on YouTube and it's just funny and chaotic 😘

i’m really vibing w this unsolved! stark! reader shit so i’m still gonna roll w it

(referencing this fic and this hc!)

so pretty much over the course of a month, y/n’s yt channel (where she posts exclusively videos of her and peter doing unsolved stuff) raked in more than a million subs

they film videos mockumentary-style because of course they do (they’re huge fans of the office)

peter also made a channel of his own, mostly to post aesthetic vlogs and interact with the fans from y/n’s channel

pretty soon, people were leaving comments/tweeting at y/n and peter, asking them to visit haunted locations

which poses a few problems: a) y/n as not allowed traveling by herself because being a stark meant being a high profile target who is still a child. like tony would literally die before he let his daughter travel by herself without protection; b) peter and y/n are too scared to go to locations by themselves.  y/n is insistent that these places are actually haunted so she thinks they need to have someone to protect them because they’re literal children. that someone can’t be peter because he needs to protect his identity. the fact that peter can’t protect y/n and himself makes him nervous too.

their compromise? a chaperone flies the quinjet to their haunted location and joins them on ghost hunts. the chaperone being an avenger.

and depending on who brings them on their trip, the vibe of the video is VERY DIFFERENT

tony is a boogara mostly because he’s seen too much shit to be a skeptic tbh

when he’s in videos, they usually get the most views because HELLO the man is basically elon musk but a superhero

he has very nonchalant energy in videos and makes asides that are hilarious

*something crashes in the distance* “oh shit. y/n honey, it’s a ghost” he says in the most monotone voice ever.

he doesn’t really want to flaunt his tech in the videos (also he doesn’t want to accidentally blow up the place) so he usually only brings a baseball bat

which y/n is always like “okay, so on this episode of my dad is an idiot: he brought a baseball bat to fight ghosts”

peter and y/n usually take turns filming, and tony has basically mastered the deadpan stare to camera

“dad, did you hear that???? i heard something fall!!!” y/n probably said.

“that was me, babe!” peter hisses back at her from behind the camera

cue tony’s deadpan stare into the camera

when steve chaperones trips, he doesn’t really understand what y/n and peter are doing but as the designated beefy but responsible uncle, he brings his shield anyways.

honestly he’s a boogara too because he’s seen a lot of shit that doesn’t make sense to him so WHY NOT add ghosts to the list

that doesn’t mean he’s really scared of them though

he usually enters buildings first, letting y/n or peter carry his shield

he's also the type to wander around the building without telling anybody because he honestly thinks it's harmless

but in the process, he scares the shit out of y/n and peter

“y/n...where did steve go?” peter asks y/n, who’s currently behind the camera

steve then walks into the room innocently while y/n and peter lose their shit

“steve don’t do that!!!” y/n yells at him while pointing the flashlight onto his face

“do what??” he asks dumbfoundedly

episodes with steve usually end up becoming really iconic gif sets

by far the most chaotic episodes are with sam and bucky

those two have become a package deal because if either tony or steve are unavailable, y/n and peter ask either bucky or sam. but no matter who they ask, the other asks if they can come too

and because steve and tony are usually busy, bucky and sam are the most common guests

they even updated their social media bios because they go ghost hunting so much.

(bucky’s bio: avenger. plum lover. steve’s best friend. apparently, a ghost hunter.)

(sam’s bio: the funny avenger with wings. i also hunt ghouls on the side.)

bucky is shaniac because he just thinks ghosts aren’t real. plain and simple.

sam is a boogara when it comes to literally any other conspiracy theory, but a shaniac when it comes to ghosts.

but when they’re together, they collectively share one brain cell so they both get scared really easily even if they don’t believe in ghosts

whenever it’s an episode about a haunted building with sam, y/n and peter don't even bother editing out all the swears because there are so many so what’s even the point.

“fucking FUCK!! did you guys hear that fucking shit!! okay, stay fucking CALM IT’S NOT MOTHERFUCKING GHOST OKAY???” sam probably says at the sound of a door creaking

his pre and post exploration interviews are also always really funny because he is usually drinking out of a flask saying “if i die, there’s no way a ghost is going to kill me fucking sober”

bucky is generally non-vocal but makes the funniest facial reactions because he gets startled by sam’s screaming

sam overreacting because of something like the wind + bucky’s face of pure shock at his sudden outburst = perfect content fo the slow zoom in

despite sam and bucky always saying they hate ghost hunting on camera, they secretly love it and love spending time with y/n and peter

they are easily the fan favourite and the most requested guests

[tsukishumai]

(feel free to keep this to yourself or delete or whatever ik it's long so if you don't want it to take space on ur blog I get it!!! ❤️❤️❤️)

Ok im the anon from last night and im gonna try to fit my somewhat clear (still mostly jumble) thoughts into one ask! Maybe 2 if i absolutely cannot fit but anyways i went to bed last night thinking “damn idk who i want reader to be with” but uh based on the tiny notes i took when i reread it there is a clear favorite O.O

Anyways im not sure if Bo just doesn’t know that he likes reader or what??? Why is he LITERALLY BRINGING ANOTHER GIRL HOME to presumably sleep with and then act all >:( when reader leaves w kuroo??? Absolutely not !

Also im sorry but the “shes like my sister!” comment absolutely killed me, i remember when that happened to me and i made a BEELINE for the bathroom right afterwards to cry about it lol but speaking of crying!!! Idk how reader kept it together when she was helping Bokuto dress up because seeing someone i like put so much effort into a date with another person would have destroyed me….and then when he spun around and was li e “how do i look?” ABSOLUTELY NOT it would have been OVER for EVERYONE.

AND ALSO the whole assigning colors to people part is so lovely and jehfbrwuifekj im a huge color/number person when it comes to emotions and people because I feel like everyone has their own unique color for them? Sometimes numbers but for me it’s only when i really know the person but anyways this is as much as i can say without going over the limit so in conclusion, i LOVE your series and i’m so excited for future updates and you seem like a really cool person so i’ll hopefully be back in your ask box soon!! Kissies and hugs kjednfkwjef pls have a spooky october!!!

🧡💚🧡💚

Love Galore

i'm not gonna lie i've been keeping this in my inbox FOR DAYSSS BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T STOP RE-READING IT AND I W ANNA KEEP IT FOREVER T-T but i don't want you to think i ignored this sweet message BECAUSE FUCK!

it honestly still BLOWS my mind whenever i get asks like this, because honestly it makes my heart fucking SIIINGGGGG hearing your thoughts about Love Galore!! AND YOU TOOK NOTES I'M ACTUALLY CRYING LMAO I LITERALLY LOVE YOU fsadas but anyway i just have to know, who are you rooting for? lol

HONESTLY Bo is just as confused like he's kinda self-centered you know! not in a bad way, like he's nice and caring to his friends but ultimately everything he does everything for his OWN self interest, and someitmes when ur so tunnel-visioned like that, it's difficult to understand the feelings of those around u!!! cause in a way he only cares about his own? it's kinda contradictory LOL

AND BESTIE IM SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOUFFSDA being sister-zoned is absolutely not a curse i would wish upon my worst enemies smh and i have NOOO idea how y/n did i could fucking NEVERRR i'd just tell him like 'go watch a youtube video or something' like SHE DONE HELPED SHIP HER MAN OFF!! UR CRAZY!! but at least she got to spend time with kuroo lmao

im so happy u like that part bc i feel the same way i love associate people with colors ij ust feel like color plays such a big part in our life and i love assigning colors hahah but anywayyyy

THANK YOU SO MUCH from the absolute bottom of my heart for reading and letting me know your thoughts on Love Galore it honestly means a lot to me and i hope i see you in my inbox more ofteenn!!

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me. 

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod. 

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll  drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands). 

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.) 

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you). 

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems: 

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree. 

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg. 

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work. 

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s).  I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes. 

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after. 

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments: 

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it. 

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[g0dtier]

leftist tumblr/twitter really needs to chill with the outrage directed at other leftists and check facts and shit. like take leftist youtubers for example

hbomberguy got a callout posted about him that contained like 3 images of an incomplete chat log which accused him of being a rape apologist and over the years the story just turned into “hbomb is a rapist”

and like the whole story is convoluted as shit because i just went on like an hour long deep dive trying to find all the deleted pics and logs and posts and i did! and what i found was so underwhelming and weird but what it comes down to is this

this person accused a friend of hbomb without proof and conflicting messages of something heinous, 5 years after the fact apparently happened, was met with understanding but questions about clarification or proof which they could have easily given which they said so themselves but actively decided not to, said they “didnt want to blow this wide open” and then posted their callout to every single leftist and gaming subreddit they could find, raged about hbomb not linking to their callout in his apology, and then deleted their tumblr, the callout they wanted people to read so desperately and all the screenshots with it and now the facts (which were barely there) have become so convoluted that a bunch of people think hbomb is actually a rapist or smth

if u are into drama and wanna know other shit heres like, what i put together from all the shit i found

like it starts with skype chat logs in the middle of a conversation, u know a convo has been held about this before but the logs arent there for some reason, K didnt decide to post the first conversation about these accusations for some reason and this is kinda important cause later on K does something else weird with the chat logs

K accused Hbomb’s friend PL of being a rapist and sending them rapey messages 5 years before these call logs

K continued to work with Hbomb knowing PL and Hbomb were friends for 5 years before deciding to accuse out of the blue

without proof because their computer died, even though skype chat logs can easily be recovered even on a new computer and they said they had proof and logs they got from other people about PL’s behavior yet refused to show them to anyone or post them in the callout

chat logs start off with Hbomb asking about the situation but that they dont have to talk if K doesnt want to and K immediately going into a rant about how they rely on Hbomb to not become homeless and how their former rapist now has kids 

this is like a really weird thing to start off a convo with. if ur friend is like “hey if you want to, you can talk to me about this rape accusation” and u immediately reply with “lol yea anyway the person who abused me as a child has kids now and no one will believe me when i talk about him and also if you dont believe me and i get shit for this accusation i WILL be homeless” thats like. some heavy emotional manipulation to start off a convo with. anyway the accusation is this

K accuses PL of threatening to rape them 5 years ago, K and PL were wanting to meet up but PL made rapey comments and K, according to the callout post, didnt show for the meeting

Hbomb says he has some trouble with this because he absolutely wants to believe and support K and asks what he can do for them, but also mentions how theyve talked about PL for years and that there never was anything like this mentioned and that this accusation is sort of coming out of the blue. he also mentions, which is kinda important, that K told him after the original meetup was cancelled that they were afraid PL actually cancelled the meetup because he lost interest in K. Which doesnt correlate at all with what K claims and seems like something they should clear up right

anyway hbomb is like completely chill and supportive during this entire conversation and mentions how he feels like garbage over not being able to believe K out of the blue, which is 100% fucking reasonable considering the situation where K actually apparently felt sad about the meetup not continuing, everything being fine for 5 years, and then accusing PL out of the blue without any proof while also prefacing it with a “if u dont believe me i will be homeless”. like thats 100% just a fucking reasonable reaction lmfao. 

so u imagine there’s gonna be some clearup about everything being fine for 5 years and what hbomb said about K confiding in him all those years ago that they thought PL cancelled the meeting because they didnt like them, right?

wrong because the next logs are the only chat logs of that conversation where a bunch of K’s reply is completely cut off. Like K decided posting these logs was important but deliberately decided to cut out a bunch of their own reply after being asked in the most non-confrontational way fucking ever for some 100% reasonable clarification on their accusations. like they have multiple screenshots which show the chat continuing exactly from the last screenshot by including the last thing said on the former screenshot but they did decide that the last screenshot should start halfway through their last message to hbomb

K then decides to not go after PL at all but make a huge ass callout about hbomb instead for not believing them. like the callout isnt even “hey PL made rapey comments at me” the callout is “hbomb didnt believe me when i told him this”

after this a couple things happened

K spread the callout everywhere they could because they wanted everyone to know about this and they recieved tons of support

they posted some out of context screenshots of hbomb replying to unknown messages and his replies may or may not be about this incident, no one knows because theyre completely vague without earlier context which again wasnt included

they also posted stuff about his mods defending him when all the mod (singular) in question says is to take up comments about this with hbomb himself bc discussing public callouts and dragging people has been prohibited since way before this thing happened and it makes people uncomfortable to discuss new and vague situations like this in the public server instead of in PMs which is like. logical

then they claim that (again no proof) they heard through the grapevine from someone else that hbomb had been dragging K in voice chat and calling them a crazy bitch or something like that which makes zero fucking sense because boasting in a public voice chat on a server where people are already trying to drag you about how someone who made a callout post is a crazy bitch, with your own voice, which can easily be recorded and is way harder to accuse of being faked is actually a 0 brain cell move and while i dont know hbomb personally i dont think anyone would actually be that fucking stupid

Hbomb wrote an apology and K accused him of copying it from an ask they got about what an apology should be like which is like really fucking weird because nothing in the apology even remotely resembles what they asked for so its like aight

after hbomb was thoroughly dragged through the mud because K spread the callout everywhere they could and got mad at hbomb for not including a link to their callout in his original apology and then, right after the fucking apology and they got all the traction they really tried to get they just...deleted their tumblr and all the archives and screenshots lmfao

[kewltie]

a youtuber au where bakugou runs one of those super popular channel where they do crazy stunt like scale buildings, parkour, dares and jump off cliffs w/ his squad etc and deku has one of those fan theories, commentaries, and media news channel and how their fandom never intersect yet their bfs and nobody knows.

so deku is known to highkey talk about his bf in ref like ‘oh X is kacchan’s fav char and get so mad when the creators ruined her char’s arc in s3′ all over his channel so his fans are familiar with kacchan and their relationship bc deku is always bringing it up. deku never show a pic of his bf before but they see hints and signs of this kacchan in his video sometimes when he’s recording like matching fandom geeky couple mugs (i.e. deku’s ‘i love you’ mug and his bf has the ‘i know’ mug) and sometimes they can catch deku talking to him off screen when izuku is on a heated fandom topic and he’s yelling at izuku about HOW HIS OPINION IS V V V WRONG & TO STFU BC HE DOESN’T SHIT. like his fans love deku and hearing his analysis and opinion but they are also HIGHKEY into deku’s relationship w/ his bf that never appeared on screen and loosely exist off screen as some concept they’re all trying to wrap their head around lol.

for bakugou he keep his private life SEALED UP TIGHTLY bc his youtube is a job and he doesn’t mix work w/ his social life and when his fans ask about his bf he’s always saying, ‘my bf isn’t any of ur fucking bsn so shut your trap’. they only know about him bc bakugou did a q&a and the question everyone asking if he got a girl and he’s like ‘no you dumbfucks i got myself a man’ and just leave it at that while his entire fandom FLIPPED THE SHIT OUT BC HE NEVER MENTION THAT BEFORE. so the more bakugou keeps it lowkey about his relationship the more his fans DESPERATELY WANT TO KNOW bc even when bakugou doesnt bring up the mysterious bf his friends does it for him in their videos like the time when they are doing a base jumping video and kirishima is like ‘oh is HE panicking right now?’ and bakugou is like, ‘yea but he’s not trying to blow up my phone about it bc he’s not a total idiot sometimes’ and he says it so softly and almost fondly that the top comment on this video with over 4k likes was ‘BAKUGOU IS SO SOFT TO HIS BF HELP’ and ofc bakugou responded to that comment with a single: ┌П┐(►˛◄’!)

so his most devoted fans tend to get really excited when these ‘bf moments’ are captured on video and though they aren’t like heavily feature and it’s only like a one off comment or two but everytime the bf is mention they get so excited bc they get to see another side of bakugou who is still abrasive and gives no fuck but he’ll be going skydiving out of the country and he’ll detour and buy a one kind of souvenir for his bf or he and his squad go do some backpacking for a week and he’ll have stuff packed by the bf and he’ll grumbles bc it’s shitty and useless (LIKE WHO NEED STUPID HEROES SLEEPING BAG) but then mina would get up close to camera and complain that bakugou got up waaaay to early to talk to bf for an hour bc timezone diff and he ALWAYS HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AND IT’S ALWAYS ENDING UP WITH HIM RAISING HIS VOICE BC BF SAID SOMETHING DUMB BUT HE’S ALWAYS END UP SMILING AT THE END OF IT. AND sometimes SUPER RARE thing where bf is there for that particular video event like hiking mount fuji but off screen the entire time and bakugou can be seen talking to him and making sure HE DOESN’T DIE BC WTF I TOLD YOU TO WATCH YOUR STEPS JFC DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO WALK PROPERLY and he’s yelling at bf while holding his hand carefully over some really dangerous and rocky path and the camera pan closely to their hand-holding much to bakugou’s total chagrin.

anyway so their fandom rarely intersect and even when they have fans who follow both channels nobody make the connection bc they are so at odds at each other personality wise and content wise so wtf?????? they only get exposed when they going to something like vidcon where they meet other content creators and their fans and they are both hugely popular youtubers so they get their own event press & meet&greet. like deku and bakugou never technically try to hide that they are dating each other but they don’t actively make it obvious who they are dating so when they came to vidcon event and everything seems normal enough until deku has his q&a and he’s talking animatedly about an ep he did and bakugou just appeared on the side standing among the audience and fans that recognized are all whispering aggressively LIKE WTF IS BAKUGOU DOING HERE??? IS HE ALSO A FAN OF DEKU TOO??? and ofc deku notice the commotion in the event hall and quickly spot bakugou and he’s WAVING AND SMILING AT HIM . BAKUGOU JUST SIGH AND DRAGS HIMSELF ON STAGE AND IS LIKE ‘i need the key to our hotel room. i locked myself out’ and deku laughs at bakugou as he hands him the room key and bakugou stares at him for a moment as though considering and kisses his cheek in thanks before depearting, leaving deku not only stun but the entire room lit burst into scream.  tweets & tumblr posts immidiately go up about this crazy thing that happen at vidcon and ppl start connecting the dot and THEY’RE LIKE HOW DID WE NOT KNOW OMG!!!!!!!!!! and that’s how bakudeku broke the internet.

[girlbossbigbrother]

Pt2 piper content creator hc

- capitalism becomes a common talking point on rachel n piper’s podcast so percy invites himself on as The spokesperson for all poor people

- as u can imagine the comments r all like “wtf where did u find this guy wasnt there a nationwide manhunt for him” and hes like “cmon guys that was like 7 yrs ago ppl change 🫵 move on 🙄”

- film bro percy also suggests piper react to her dad’s movies for the comedic potential and she gives in but only for one movie, that being his most iconic role as the King of Sparta

- she spends the whole movie either focusing on the randomest most trivial details or making fun of everything her dad does. “Why does that vase in the back have latin writing the romans didnt even conquer sparta yet” “WHY IS HE WALKING LIKE THAT ☠️ freak” “thats not how u use that kind of blade he has terrible form. whyd they cast him” “bOOO🗣 🍅 🍅 🍅 “

-yk who else happens to be in that movie? Beryl Grace (hc) so naturally she invites jason 🤭 knowing theyre about to break the internet.

- “hello everyone welcome to my long awaited reaction to D-lister tristan mclean’s box office flop King of Sparta. Joining me today is my good friend Jason who’s mother happens to portray a minor character in this movie” “yup🤓”

- The minor character in question is the queen of Sparta (girl im just gonna pretend this movie is 300)

- as u can imagine, this video causes an uproar in the media. It colloquially comes to be known as “collab of the century”.

- “BERYL GRACE’S SON?!” “JASON GRACE FOUND” trends on twitter for like a month

- “WHERE TF DID SHE FIND HIM” “UM? STORTYTIME???” “no way one of the biggest celebrity missing person cases in recent history is found in a youtube reaction video” “SOMEONE CALL RYAN BERGARA. BUzzfeed SOLVED” “guys hes obviously faking his identity 😐” “WHERES HIS SISTER” “my aunts a forensic facial analyst and compared him now to a paparazzi picture of jason grace as a toddler AND IT MATCHES UP ITS HIM😱😱” “r u guys dating 😍” (piper is a known lesbian😭) “🥵🤤babe wakeup new white boy of the month dropped”

- bc shes a troll she does an annoying tiktok storytime where she spends 2 1/2 minutes saying satirical filler stuff “omg guys i wasnt expecting this to blow up😱 thank u guys for all ur interest🤞😁 u mean the world to me 🌎 im like shaking 😵‍💫 i cant believe this is happening🤯 omg im running out of time 😳😩😭LIKE FOR PART TWO-“

-She then immediatly turns off her phone takes a 4 hour nap.

- “Welcome🥰 to pt 2 ✌️ of the storytime 📖 on how💁🏽‍♀️i 😏🦸🏽‍♀️singlehandedly🤩🕵🏽‍♀️solved🧐👩🏽‍💻the coldcase🛃of Thee Beryl 💃🏼Grace’s son 🚼 jason grace. 🤯🤯🤯😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨”

“🤗i met him on the bus😘. DONT FORGET TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON☝️🤑-“

- every media outlet’s attempt to reach out to piper/her friends/tristan is met with a “no comment”

- she continues posting like normal

Content creator piper

- makes analytical youtube video essays abt society and media pertaining to womens rights, native issues, and representation of LGBTQIA2S.

- celebrity’s child whos accumlates a fanbase of young women and queer ppl and is iconized for her critiques and stuff. She dominates Stan twitter. “Piper mclean solos ur problematic fav”

- half assed set up. Tripod+Camera pointing to her sitting on a beanbag in the corner of her room holding a tiny mic.

- she and rachel frequently collab and use their privilege to spread awareness abt climate justice and landback

- different stuffy/plushy in her lap each video. She always introduces it with her and identifies it as her co-host

- i once saw someone hc she does song covers i think thatd be cool too occasionally

- occasional twitch gaming live streams (donations go to charities) with leo they just mess around in GTA or smthn

- everyone knows shes tristan mclean’s daughter. Her username is literally her full name. but if someone comments n still asks if shes his daughter she acts like shes never heard that name in her life “whoever that is he sounds like a gross little freak who needs to get some bitches”

- tristan gets asked in interviews abt how he feels about what his daughter does and he responds the same. “I dont know this person. I dont have kids. im a virgin.” Even though he quote retweeted her calling ppl out with “drag ‘em pipes” the night before

[larryshorcrux]

Fake It Til You Make It

JILY CHALLENGE | @ginevrashorcrux vs @lilypcttr  social media!AU + “After a misunderstanding with his fans, james begs lily to be his fake girlfriend until this all blows over. which includes posting cute instagrams together and doing all the couple challenges.”

(nothing like waiting till the last second! I’m so sorry this took forever but its up!)

                     ----------------------------------------------

James' fans were some of his favorite people in the world. But sometimes, he really wanted to punch them in the face. This is one of those times.

 It all started with one, stupid youtube video from one, stupid Sirius Black. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Do a 'boyfriend tag' video with your best friend, who is like a brother to you, as a joke.  And it was a good idea because both boy's view count and subscriber count went up by the hundreds.

 It wasn't a good idea, however, when everyone thought that it was true and thought Sirius Black and James Potter are actually dating.

 "Sirius, this is not funny! How am I ever going to get a hot girlfriend if everyone thinks we're shagging?" James asked his best friend. Sirius just kept laughing, infuriating James to the point that he stormed out of their shared flat.

 James needed to do something and he needed to do it fast. He started brainstorming ideas on his walk to the park when a buzzing from his pocket startled him from his thoughts. He took out his phone and saw it was a text from Lily Evans as well as a picture from her of a photoshopped James and Sirius in a very compromising position.

 From Lily Evans

why didn't u tell me u guys wer dating??? and why didn’t u tell me ur sextape leaked too?!?

 To Lily Evans

ha ha

 To Lily Evans

very funny. nothing is going on i swear. that vid was supposed 2 be a joke and its gotten way out of control

 From Lily Evans

well have fun tryin 2 fix this mess  good luck, ur going 2 need it :*

 James rolled his eyes as he sat down on a park bench. He scrolled through twitter only to be bombarded with tweets about his a Sirius' relationship. And, much to his annoyance, a tweet from Sirius Black himself confirming it.

 @padfootproductions:we r sorry that we hid this so long. we just cant hide our dying love for one another, it was really taking a toll on our relationship :////// ly baby @jamespotter_official

 @jamespotter_official:@padfootproductions fuck off m8

 James needed to do something fast. Sirius' tweet only added fuel to the fire. As he was thinking of ways to fix this problem (and to kill Sirius for creating this whole problem), a man and woman jogged past him, giggling and shooting lovesick glances at one another.

 'That's it,' James thought. 'I just need a fake girlfriend! And I know exactly who can help.'

 "I will absolutley not help you, James," said a very mad Lily Evans. "Why not?" James pouted. He needed this. There's only so many photoshopped pictures of himself and Sirius and only so many fanfictions he can read before going insane. It needed to be stopped.

 "Because, I will not be dragged into this mess that has nothing to do with me," She said. As an after thought, she added, "Also, it's kind of a funny situation to witness."

 James groaned and smacked his head on the table. "Lily, please! I'll do anything. I just need you to be my fake girlfriend for like three months, pretend we've been dating for five already, take some cute pictures, film some cute videos, then we can 'break up' and we can go our separate ways. Please, I'm begging you."

 "What's in it for me?" Lily asked. "You get to say you're dating me," James said cockily. Lily reached over the table and smacked him in the head. "Ow," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "Fine, I'll bring you coffee for a month, on me."

 "I want you to edit my videos," Lily smiled. "What?! You post three times a week! I'll never have time to edit my own!" James exclaimed.

 Lily gathered her things and stood up. "Good luck, James." The man groaned and quickly stood up. "I'll edit your videos for a month."

 "Four months."

 "Two months."

 "Fine, but I'm still expecting that coffee, too." Lily sat back down and James smiled in relief. "You're a saint, Lily Evans, did you know that?"

 "I try," she smirked.

"This better work, Potter," Lily grumbled as she hit 'post' on Instagram. "It will, I promise!"

 Within seconds there were hundreds of comments under her picture, all along the lines of "OMG I CANT BREATH" or "I SHIP IT HJBDUJ".

"I can't believe it, they're actually buying this," the redhead murmured in astonishment. "Quick take a snapchat with me," James told her.

  "Lady love, James? Really?" Lily asked, not looking at all amused. "What? I have to make it believable," James said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Fine, whatever," Lily said rolling her eyes.

In the weeks that followed James and Lily's 'relationship' being made public, all thoughts of James and Sirius actually dating seemed to die down, thankfully. The young 'couple' would make it a point to take really cute pictures or to hold hands anytime they were out in public together.

Also in the weeks that followed, James and Lily seemed to get too close for two people who were just friends. Suddenly, Lily missed when she was not with James and suddenly, James found he was longing to hold Lily's hand when he couldn't. There was tension between them, and both knew it was obvious. Remus, Sirius, and Peter would never admit it, but they have been placing bets on when the two would finally realize that they were more than just friends. Unbeknownst to them, James and Lily were also placing bets in their own heads as to which of the two would crack first.

"You know," James mused one day. "We haven't filmed a video together yet in our three months of dating."

"James, we are not actually dating. Must I keep reminding you?" "You're just so beautiful, my Lily flower. I can't resist your charm," James smirked. Lily rolled her eyes, but James swore he saw a hint of a blush blooming on her cheeks.

"Fine," Lily said, going to gather her camera from her bag. "You tweet asking people to send us questions," she called over her shoulder as she set up her equipment.

@jamespotter_official: Shooting a q&a with the one and only @evanslily send us some questions !!! Use #jilyquestiontime

 Within seconds, James' feed was bombarded with questions. Lily sat back down and began the intro to her video.

"Hello, beautiful people! Today I am joined with my lovely boyfriend, Mr. James Potter," Lily said, adding a little gesture towards James at the end. James smiled and waved at the camera, waiting for Lily to continue. "We asked you guys to tweet us some questions so let's dive straight in!" Lily leaned in closer to James to have a look at his phone screen. Not knowing what came over him, he placed a hand on her thigh. She jumped a little bit, not expecting that at all, and asked what he was doing. "Just playing it up for the cameras," he shrugged. Lily covered her face with her hair and looked back at his phone screen, not liking what his touch was doing to her body.

 "So we have a question from @youtube_lovin_1234. It asks, 'When did you two meet?' Ah that had to be vidcon. I want to say 2015?" James asked, looking for Lily for confirmation. "2016," Lily corrected. "Close enough," James said.

 "This one," Lily continued. "Is from @padfoots_paws. Interesting name. It reads, 'who is stronger? (asking this as an excuse to see James' biceps. #sorrynotsorry)."

 "Well, if you insist," James smirked, flexing his bicep and smiling into the camera. Wanting to get him back for the hand on the thigh incident, Lily reached out a hand and began feeling James' muscles. "Don't we all want to make excuses just to see James' biceps?" Lily asked. She turned back to James so she could look for more questions and noticed he was blushing. THE James Potter was blushing because of her. She smirked and let him choose another question.

 "This next question comes from @little_lindsey. 'Who is the better kisser? Prove it.'"

Both youtubers looked at each other and gulped. "James, we don't have to-" Lily started. "No we really don't," James interrupted.

"But maybe we should-"

"I mean we haven't kissed at all for the viewers-"

"You're right I think we should-"

The two quickly became flustered and looked away from each other. "Ok, let's go back to acting really flirty and I'll edit all of this out," James suggested. Lily nodded and faced the camera. Suddenly, James and Lily were acting cool and confident, as if that whole exchange never happened.

"James likes to think he is, but I am clearly better," Lily said very matter-of-factly. James rolled his eyes and responded with, "Keep telling yourself that, love."

"Well, let's let the viewers decide. Let us know in the comments who you think is better," Lily said.

James and Lily found themselves face to face, more nervous than ever. Both have wanted to do this for the past three months and now they finally had the chance. So why is it so hard?

"Ok, here we go for the totally fake kiss," James gulped.

"That means absolutely nothing," Lily confirmed.

Not knowing what came over him, James put one hand on Lily's face and the other in her hair, wasting no time in kissing her. Lily gasped a little, but placed her hands on his chest, kissing back with just as much vigor. Deciding to take control of the situation, Lily licked James' lips, begging for the permission she already knew she had

When their tongues met, Lily couldn't help but fist James' hair, causing the latter to let out a loud moan. This seemed to snap the two back to reality. They quickly pulled away, trying to fix their disheveled appearances.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Lily confessed. James only nodded, eyes wide. "I think this video can be finished later," he said, grabbing Lily's hand and leading her to his room. 

That day, their relationship actually became official. Actually, it became official about 5 times that night.

[shirlleycoyle]

How YouTube Drives Shane Dawson and Other Creators to Conspiracy Theories

At the end of last month, YouTuber Shane Dawson, who has over 20.5 million subscribers, posted a video titled “Conspiracy Theories with Shane Dawson.” The video supported malevolent conspiracy theories, including ones about the California wildfires that killed more than 80 people and destroyed more than 11,000 homes.

In the nearly two-hour video, Dawson presented a series of false narratives that the wildfires were caused by either direct energy weapons, kitchen microwave explosions directed by electric companies, or people burning down their houses for insurance money. He sprinkled these videos with disclaimers that these were “theories, not facts.” Shane dropped another video titled “Investigating Conspiracy Theories with Shane Dawson” yesterday. In this video, Shane explores the conspiracy that Chuck E. Cheese’s re-serves leftover pizza to other customers (Chuck E. Cheese’s has since unequivocally denied this), and interviews a friend who alleges that she and her son almost became victims of human trafficking.

The theories about the California wildfire were presented using recycled footage and narratives from fringe, conspiracy theory-driven parts of YouTube by creators who have also been known to support anti-Semitic conspiracies theories. Dawson also tried to argue that iPhones secretly record everything that you say, which has been conclusively debunked. Dawson also promotes a conspiracy theory that the app Zepeto records its users, but the app does not use or store microphone data, according to iOS System Preferences and the app’s privacy policy.

When Motherboard looked at other conspiracy videos promoting “direct energy weapons” in California, one of them already had three comments claiming that they looked for the video because of Dawson. The same account has posted videos which claim that the Clinton family practices demon occultism.

Dawson also placed these California wildfire theories in the same video as verifiably true but unrelated things—like the existence of deepfakes (which Motherboard has covered extensively), the fact that supermarket layouts are designed to make you buy more items, and the fact that violence and suicide is common in children’s cartoons. These are not “conspiracy theories.” They’re just creepy. But their adjacency to false conspiracy theories can make them seem more legitimate by association. Dawson did not respond to Motherboard’s request for comment.

Dawson’s recent video was actually demonetized by YouTube a few hours after it was posted—but only for a day. As explained in the Verge, Dawson’s video exists in a grey area where conspiracy theories are presented as possibilities. By doing so, he avoided serious penalization by YouTube, and his video has also been rewarded by his audience. His first video has more than 30 million views at the time of publication; the second video has nearly 8 million views a day after it was posted.

Many YouTubers, including Dawson, have realized that fringe content—like conspiracy theories and far right political beliefs—are successful on the site. Because they are rewarded with engagement and views, YouTubers are incentivized to create videos that edge further and further to the extreme. This phenomenon doesn’t have an easy fix because it’s built into the structure and model of YouTube as a platform.

Becca Lewis, a political subculture researcher for internet research group Data & Society, told Motherboard that across the platform, there are incentives for YouTubers to create more extreme content.

“It can be almost impossible to parse out any one, individual influencer’s motivations,” Lewis said. “But I think it’s important to note that there are some trends on YouTube where you can see that inflammatory, or political, or conspiratorial content often drives viewership. And so there can be a direct financial motivation for content creators to make this kind of content.”

In her report “Alternative Influence: Broadcasting the Reactionary Right on YouTube,” Lewis explained that not only can YouTubers radicalize their audience, but the reverse can be true: audiences can radicalize creators and drive them to make more extreme content.

“The easy feedback systems on YouTube lead to discursive loops, in which influencers build audiences that ask for, or reward, certain types of content,” Lewis says in her report. “For many of the political influencers in the AIN, the more extremist content they make, the more of an extremist and dedicated audience they build.”

For a creator like Dawson, he may risk video demonetization with conspiracy videos, but he’s retained sponsorship deals with companies like Honey and SeatGeek, which he advertises in the videos themselves. Dawson’s conspiracy videos also get a very strong response from his audience, which can help build or reinforce their loyalty. Dawson has been making videos on YouTube for almost a decade, and his content has included vlogs, creator “challenges” like food tastings or product testings, and more recently, feature-length videos exploring particular topics or people. Yet two of his top ten videos of all time are both titled “MIND BLOWING CONSPIRACY THEORIES.”

Dawson isn’t the only YouTuber who started making more extreme content that was arguably in part driven by audience demand.

There’s also the case of Blaire White, a far right political commentator who focuses on critiquing feminism and non binary gender identities from the perspective of a transgender woman. As described in Lewis’s Alternative Influence report, White began her channel with comparatively balanced political videos which conceded to certain feminist beliefs (like male privilege.) But after collaborating with established far right YouTuber Carl Benjamin (Sargon of Akkad), her videos took a hard right turn and pivoted to the political extreme.

Interestingly, White posted a video in September titled “Why I’ve Changed (The Truth)” in which she claimed that she would stop doing far right political content—not because her belief system changed, but because of harassment, and a sentiment that people within the far right YouTube community were faking their beliefs for viewership.

“An amount of them that I’ve met that have told me either directly or indirectly or in a roundabout way that’s very clear that they don’t believe everything that they say that they believe when they’re on camera,” White said. “A lot of them just don’t believe. They’re just actors.”

Similarly, YouTuber Moe Othman started his channel about six years ago by making personality-driven blogs. Then, two years ago, he started making conspiracy theory videos. Conspiracy videos would get, on average, between 50,000-80,000 views, while non-conspiracy videos would rarely crack 10,000 views. He eventually started creating exclusively conspiracy theory content, which have sometimes received hundreds of thousands of views. (Some of these videos promoted the false direct energy weapon conspiracy theory for the California wildfires.)

Earlier this year, Othman posted a video in which he said he would be pivoting away from conspiracy theory content. Why? He claimed it was making him sad.

“Making all of those Illuminati videos that I did, it caused a lot of sadness in me,” Othman said. “And it’s weird because I already knew about all of that. I know worse than the stuff that I made in my videos. So why did making Illuminati videos make me sad? It made me lose a lot of enthusiasm, and a lot of optimism.”

Despite posting that video, Othman has continued to make conspiracy theory-related content.

According to Lewis, this pivoting back and forth may reflect a delicate tension that YouTubers are trying to balance: how do you strategically brand to the extreme to maximize viewership, not alienate too many people, and also remain authentic?

“I think that you see people in these political spaces negotiating that tension over time,” Lewis said. “Particularly with political content, it’s easy to get shoehorned into a specific grouping. So a lot of them are flirting with these extremist ideas. But at a certain point, some want wider viewership than they would get if they become known as full-on white nationalist or full-on white supremacist. So you see a lot of them negotiating these boundaries and flirting with certain ideas, or posting certain kinds of content, and later deleting that content, and going on to different kind of content.”

Lewis said that when YouTubers build up an extreme audience, they get locked into the demands of that audience. After all, if a YouTuber completely radicalizes, their audience might get bored and unsubscribe. At that point, the YouTuber would have to build an audience all over again.

She pointed to Andy Warski as an example of this risk. Warski built a reputation for having “debates” about the merits of white nationalism with YouTuber Jean-Francois Gariépy, but after Warski departed from these collaborations and was accused of being a not “authentic” enough white nationalist, he’s struggled to build up an individual audience (even though he is still, undoubtedly, a far right figure.)

Of course, it’s very possible that for some people, the drive to create conspiracy-related videos comes from a place of genuine interest and belief. For instance, Dawson has created several conspiracy theory-related videos over the past couple of years. In a tweet, Dawson claims that YouTube deleted several of these videos. It’s noteworthy that this tweet was a reply to InfoWars’s Paul Joseph Watson, tweeted about Dawson’s feature-length conspiracy video. Dawson said “love ur stuff btw!!”

Dawson also hosted far right YouTuber Blaire White on his podcast “Shane and Friends” not once, but twice. On YouTube, a collaboration is often functionally equivalent to an endorsement, as explained in Alternative Influence.

YouTube announced that it would be taking steps toward improving recommendations on the site a few days after a Buzzfeed investigation depicted how the site leads people down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole—which has been a problem for years. But the forces driving YouTubers to create extreme content won’t be easily fixed.

After all, Lewis’s Alternative Influence report explains that audience feedback metrics like likes, dislikes, and comments are “directly built into YouTube’s interface.” Those metrics central to YouTube, and those metrics are subject to the politics of YouTube.

“YouTube the company has always positioned itself as this alternative to mainstream news, mainstream entertainment, [and] really the mainstream media as a whole,” Lewis said. “And so, you get these people on the far right that are explicitly anti-mainstream media because they think it has a liberal bias, and are using YouTube as a place to promote what they see as alternative narratives, and often those end up having a conspiratorial bend.”

How YouTube Drives Shane Dawson and Other Creators to Conspiracy Theories syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/