#also breaking the not talking too specifically about my mental health online rule I have with myself

[corvidjuice]

Was gonna make a joke post about being brave when people talk about how hard highschool was bc of friend drama and exams, but actually I have a lot of thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes it feels really isolating to have struggled with severe mental health issues as a teenager. Not that exams and interpersonal problems aren’t difficult, but people know how to respond to those issues, you’ll get empathy and relating and the conversation continues. Whereas, in my experience, mentioning mental health issues often causes a lot of discomfort, overplayed pity, or just honestly shitty comments.

Of course I don’t expect people to know what to say or be mental health experts, but it does suck to not be able to refer to an entire chunk of my life. It’s not just a small detail in a story that I can omit, it IS the story. So, of course I try not to participate in the conversation, but when prompted to join, answering that I’m uncomfortable talking about it doesn’t feel that great or genuine to be honest (and harshes the vibes anyway). I want to talk about it, I want to connect and be open. I don’t want to hide things from my friends.

I thought after seeing a lot of ground being made in normalising and understanding mental health it would be ok to explain to friends how bipolar affected most of my teenage life and therefore my stressors were different, but I was met with “oh you don’t seem bipolar, I have a bipolar coworker and she’s crazy” and “but you’re on medication now right? you’re normal now” and “wdym it sucked, mania sounds so fun” (No?!?!?! Pls I don’t want to keep explaining that mania can include paranoia and psychosis and is not partying disease) or just any random story about a time someone with bipolar fucked their life up??? Which like ok, but can I finish my story first lol????

Thankfully sometimes another person with mental illness is there and we get to have a really lovely conversation, so everyone who mentions their mental health in these conversations I love you and you are literally a beacon for me regularly. Also I now have some wonderful friends who I can relate and talk to, which is amazing.

But ANYWAY I’m not sure what the point of this post is, I guess I just wish medical history and personal history weren’t so closely tied, or I wish that more people accepted and understood that they are.

[starsworldd]

hello!!! this is my first astrology post bc im bored af lol 🌸

please take these observations with a grain of salt!! they may resonate some may not :)) i put orbs (for conjunctions only) as suggestions but ofc feel free to use ur own interpretations and guidelines <3

general observations:

- mars trine pluto (specifically in fire signs)in men >>> the sex appeal is so **chefs kiss**

- 10th stelliums tend to care a lot about their image. they can attract a lot of online attention too!!

- pluto opposite ascendant or conjunct the midheaven attract a lot of toxicity from other people. pluto on the mc is on a broader scale regarding your reputation as a whole, but on the descendant i’ve noticed it affecting one on one relationships whether that be friends or partners.

- ^^ to add on to the pluto on the descendant observation, the native can also get really obsessive crushes on other ppl.

- i love pisces moons so much they’re really easy to talk to while also having depth and insight when needed <33 such a lovely placement.

- jupiter in 5th house natives tend to date a lot of ppl👀 could also be indicative of talent in the arts (i have this placement :p)

- neptune in the 6th house could have hypochondria or a lot of health anxiety

- people who have planets/asc in your fourth house tend to make really good friends :))

- aquarius venus tend to fall in love with ppl in their friend circles

- do NOT argue with pluto in third house people they will win oml they’re so dedicated

lunar return observations: (orbs: 1-3)

- this is gonna be an odd one but if you have saturn switching between conjuncting your ic/mc for 3-4 consecutive months it can show major adjustments in your home/private life or career for those months ahead.

- fifth house ruler in the fifth house or part of fortune can indicate talking to someone romantically for that month ;)) (ofc 5th house also rules over creativity so maybe as an alternate outcome, it can signify focus on creative endeavors too!!)

- part of fortune in 1st house can also bring confidence and overall good feelings about yourself

- pluto opposite the ascendant can bring a new person/people into your life or bring back an old friend group/friendship but can also indicate ending a connection with someone depending on context.

- pluto in 12th house can signify poor mental health for that month :(

- saturn in 12th can show major sleep deprivation for that month

- jupiter conjunct mc 🤝 achieving big goals for that month (and maybe getting some recognition for it too, but mostly ACHIEVING THOSE GOALS!!!)

- moon in the first house can mean crying yourself to sleep every night or feeling on top of the world (depending on planets in 1st house and aspects to moon for that month)

- neptune in 4th house can bring a really dreamy, “sleepy” and relaxing vibe in your home life.

- mars/chiron/mars conjunct chiron opposite the mc can mean a big fight at home might happen that month :(

solar return observations: (orbs: 1-3)

- moon in the 6th house can make it dififcult to be consistent with daily routines and doing work throughout the year

- uranus in 12th is sooooo difficult i had this last year and i was mentally so exhausted and stagnated

- venus opposite uranus may mean some sort of major break off with a close friend/partner or going through mutliple friend groups/friendships (like getting with one friend group then breaking off with them and joining another one and so on…if that makes sense?)

- mars opposite ascendant may make the native feel like another person or some sort of third party is getting in the way of their plans for the year. this is a really aggravating aspect, had these last year and i felt like school was getting in the way of my artistic goals but yet i still had to put the majority of my energy (mars) into something else (descendant) which was school for me in this case.

- pluto conjunct mc in the 9th house can indicate a major change in life direction. it may not manifest into reality but this is more of a mental change of where you want to go in life.

- sun conjunct mercury can mean a year with a lot of work ahead.

- sun square moon can mean big changes happening (whether that be home, school, career, etc..) but can also show a v stressful year

- pluto conjunct mc can also indícate divorce

- pay attention to where your part of fortune is!! whatever house it’s in may show which area of life will go really well for you (ofc depending on aspects)

- stelliums in houses can show reoccurring themes for that year.for example, i had a third house stellium for my 2019 solar return chart which was the year that i got serious about songwriting!! a lot of my energy was put into writing lyrics and music and also communicating with others too hehe.

i hope you’ve enjoyed reading these :) i think some of these observations are very obvious. maybe i’ll try and research some more insightful ones in the future <3 bye for now!🎀

[kaeyasyndrome]

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│    ♡ ┊ KaeyaSyndrome Intro Post │╭────────────

  ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ semi - active ┊ ┊ ︎✧. Call me ' KS ' for short

┊ ┊ ��. Full Time Kaeya Stan /lhhj ┊ . ˚ ˚✩

• Carrd ( DNI , Disorders , General Information , Interests )

• System Info ( " Snafu System "; 13 members , but switches are scarce due to both our gatekeeper controlling switches and us being in a much better living situation . As such , I ( KS ) do not proxy since it's usually me , but the others will ( though they hardly ever use Tumblr in the first place ) . )

• Requests are almost always open ! I do Mood / Stimboards , Wallpapers , PFPs , Banners / Headers , Carrds , etc. For Rules / Info , click me ! MASTERLIST OF ALL COMPLETED REQUESTS ( on Tumblr )

• As a result of AVPD , introversion , and trust issues in general , I struggle with communication . This means that , unless I consider us extremely close , I rarely initiate conversations . Be that as it may , please feel free to submit Asks ( i.e. , therianthropy tips , asking about interests , just to say hi , etc. I'm very much open to helping others and have around 3 - 4 years of personal therian experience ) , request a graphic design piece , or interact in general ( unless you break DNI criteria , but please adhere to the rules regardless ( no inappropriate / hateful asks or messages . ) Also , I am uncomfortable with answering any questions related to our D.I.D. experiences , which is due to past instances where others have used our answers to fake D.I.D. /vsrs ) . I'm very talkative once comfortable , looking for friends ( ? ) , and don't bite .. maybe 🐊 /lh

• We are most active on Discord , but don't accept requests from strangers . Moreover , I / we rarely post here on my / our own accord ( in other words , the most I post are responses to Asks / Requests ) .

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Unrelated , But Important Links / Resources:

Amphibian Foundation , where you can both / either donate and / or simply learn how to help save and conserve herpetofauna ( reptiles & amphibians ) ! Actually where I went to ( online ) college , too .

Donate and / or volunteer to help LGBTQ+ individuals facing violence and oppression , or request help for yourself / Rainbow Railroad

Click to Help Palestine ( free of charge , clicking = generating donations from sponsors , so no need to worry if you're a minor or have little money . )

Internet Safety PDF Document ( with a specific focus on the alterhuman and plural communities . )

Inclusive Mental Health Resources / The Trevor Project

[bella-noel]

The toxic side of Escort Clubs in SecondLife. (RANT)

Do you all know how many places(adult clubs) I've worked at that are severely toxic? Not just the other workers, for the most part they are very nice. I mean THE OWNERS of these clubs. These adult clubs, specifically escort clubs, are so strict and when you bring concerns up to the owners, the owners will 100% gaslight and manipulate you into thinking they do these things for a good reason, which for the most part... They don't. They have these rules set in place to be strict, money grabbing assholes. Places I've worked at have 100% over worked their employees, and when the employees (myself included) expressed how overworked they felt, or tired they are after a long week and because of such, they are incapable to complete the agreed hours. Hours being 4 hours bare minimum, 7-8 hours for exclusive employees, 10+ for management, and THEN SOME. Now it seems more popular that the hours are being less, but likely because of these specific clubs either being exposed for their unacceptable hours, or they're actually owned by nice people. As someone who has a pretty busy RL, and uses SL as a hobby, I and many others, cannot sit down at a computer on SL all day every day. We have Real Life to tend to. Work, kids, family matters, etc. I understand a lot of club owners pour their hard earned money/Lindens into SL and their club and want the club(s) to be a success, but that DOES NOT excuse abusing their staff. Staff members have been humiliated, lied to, manipulated, verbally abused and even fired for little to nothing. Do you know what happens when you can't make your agreed hours? You risk being fired. Especially if you fail to message the owners " in time" due to simply forgetting from being so busy with RL. Even if you explain why, for example, I was in the hospital once for mental health issues and even giving the owners of the club I worked at at that time updates, and explaining I won't be online or at least at the club( In escort clubs you HAVE GOT to be flirty CONSTANTLY). Understandably, I was NOT in a flirty mood, and know what happened? I had the owner and her clique of managers up my ass and around the corner about when I "can be on stage" when I literally just got out of the hospital for a mental break down. The stress escort clubs put their employees under is simply not excusable.

ALSO, Most of these club owners have their own PRIVATE DISCORD where they get together and shit talk EVERY EMPLOYEE THEY DON'T LIKE, and with almost all of these club owners being in the same discord, and having that " hive mentality" they can easily BLACKLIST ANY EMPLOYEE THEY DISLIKE, and the worst of it, they blacklist employees before giving employees a chance to defend themselves. My friend got blacklisted by these very people, and she was out of work for a LONG TIME because of it all. She was miserably depressed, stressed and anxious about the thought of being completely blacklisted from almost all escort clubs on the grid. She loves the escort community on SL, and the fact she was too afraid to find another place to work and have fun at because of these narcissistic, gaslighting and manipulative abusers is sickening. Does LL know about the discord server, More than likely no, they don't. Otherwise every. Single. Club. Would get either shut down or have LL checking on them 24/7. Luckily my friend did find another place, but even that place was just as toxic, if not worse than a lot of the others, and she ended up quitting because the owners WOULD NOT LET UP on messaging her. She explained how stressed out she was, and how she couldn't keep up with it anymore, so she quit. For the love of fucking god, please STOP abusing other people on SL, as many others do actually use this specific community to pay their RL bills. Treating them like work horses drug through dog shit is not acceptable on any level, regardless of SL being a virtual world or not.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I know you're one of the older fans on Tumblr & I wanted to ask you about the anti movement. I'm 19 & when I see people talking about the ages of anti fans, they're often within the 14-25 age range & I have no idea why. I also feel it's a little unfair to say that younger fans tend to be antis, though it is understandable since I've also made mistakes when I didn't know things. Why do you think most antis are younger fans? What should younger fans who aren't antis do to be more involved?

Hee! I’m 40, which, tbh, actually isn’t that old for Tumblr (though it’s certainly old compared to the common perception of tumblr), so sure, I can probably answer this. I guess there are two questions here: 1. Is it true and 2. why, if so?

1. Experience suggests that antis do tend to be young... but it does not follow that young people tend to be antis. (You’d have to know the proportion of antis relative to the overall population of fandom, which we don’t. I think the majority of people of any age tend to want to read fic in peace and not be roped into endless wank.) I definitely see some ringleaders who are older and good at manipulating fandom trends for their own ends too.

2. Why would this be the case?

When I was in college, we used to joke about all the freshman year Marxists. It’s an eternal phenomenon: people who don’t have much experience learn a new thing and are on fire to change the world using the one tool in their toolbox. (To a man with a hammer, yadda yadda.) There’s no passion like the passion of the newly converted, and young people tend to have a lot more energy and often a lot more free time to yell on social media. Antis may be one expression of this among people currently in that age bracket. It’s not like people my age didn’t do other annoying-ass things when we were that age. You just don’t see it because it was 20 years ago, a lot of it was never online, and all the websites/platforms from then have been systematically destroyed. (Often by yahoo. Fuck yahoo.)

The other half of the reason, in my opinion, is that there have been concerted efforts to sway lefty/socially liberal people in specific--often TERFy--ways. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the right wing radicalization of gamer guys.

People are susceptible to it because their lives suck and because they don’t know enough history or have enough confidence to form their own opinions and stand up for them. Sure, some people are going to go hardcore for anti views no matter how much they know, but a lot of people are just being swept along with the tide because something sounds superficially pro-gay or pro-protecting kids or whatever.

I cannot emphasize enough that the things that make someone ripe for the alt right are the same things that make them ripe for cults and for various kinds of toxic fandom shit: it’s usually the smart, sensitive overthinkers who don’t have enough close actual friends and who aren’t in a good place in their lives.

---

So what can you do?

You can try to make fewer more significant friendships and make sure your support system isn’t people you only know because you currently share a fandom. Most of my offline friends are people I found through fandom meetups, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making fandom your life and only hanging out with fandom people, but we’re just regular friends who have dinner parties and shit (well, when it’s not the plaguetimes). Most of the time, we don’t share specific ships or fandoms. It’s vitally important to have a real support network that can’t be ripped away by social media wank.

The next thing we can all do is publicly stand up for what we believe in and not cave to pressure just because someone yelled “think of the children”. It’s important to be clear about the real history and logic behind these things, whether it’s the history of censorship that inspires people to support AO3′s extremely permissive policies or the fact that ‘queer’ was a fully reclaimed umbrella term in the 90s.

It’s okay if we don’t all agree. What’s not okay is appeals to emotion and ignoring science. A lot of anti bullshit is like “Rape fantasies are an abnormal red flag”, and this goes against every damn thing we know about human sexuality.

Part of this is examining our own stances for illogic and hypocrisy. If thought crimes aren’t real, then all of them aren’t real. I see way too many “Okay, but that one gross kink though!” comments from people who claim to be on my side, and this is very silly.

Possibly the biggest thing, though, is that we as a planet need to start being savvier about shitty social media and how it’s destroying our mental health. I don’t have a good overall solution, and obviously, I’m still on tumblr, but we all really need to cut down the amount of time we’re on sites like Facebook and Twitter and probably tumblr too. The more it has an algorithm and the less it has moderation, the more it’s a problem. Individual discords and spaces that can have moderation are better. It’s fine if some of them are 100% antis. The point is to have multiple spaces with rules that suit different groups.

A thing you can do is make your own spaces: be the owner of a discord for your ship, not just a passive participant at the mercy of shitty mods in an existing one. Run a fic exchange with rules you think are sensible and be firm when people try to scream about problematique things you don’t agree are a problem. One of the most pernicious anti problems is mods breaking the rules of their own spaces (usually a “no kinkshaming” one) to cave to social pressure from the loudest, most assholish set of people in the server. They don’t know how many people quietly disapprove and quietly leave their fandoms because they only fear the loud harassers, not the silent toll of caving to them.

Honestly, the climate of fear is the big issue more than a bit of yelling: I routinely meet 20-somethings who live in fear of being canceled and shunned. You can help this by... not being like that with your friends. If they’re friends with a canceled person, don’t ask them to drop the canceled person or face the same fate. If you disagree about some fandom hot take, talk about it calmly and don’t act like the friendship will be over in 5 seconds and you’ll use all your knowledge of them against them in a public callout because they didn’t instantly agree.

Basically, have some self confidence and don’t be fucking terrified all the time... which can be a tall order and probably explains the age thing also.

[thesaltminesrph]

PSA: Be Upfront

Communication is important in RP.

Now, to preface, I am not going to use the really awful phrase "it's a hobby not a jobby" because this is a really sketch take on what is important to people. You can have a hobby mean a lot to you, be you a collector, a gardener, someone that builds model airplanes, a writer, an artist, etc. Those are all hobbies, and the fruits of your labor are NOT only valuable to you and others if you are paid for them. This saying implies that should you never be a published author, never have a painting sell, never do something that can be sold or have a time clock punched, it doesn’t at all matter. It’s a really discouraging thing to be telling people, quite honestly. I have multiple hobbies outside of RP. Kind of really sucks to see constantly they don’t matter because nobody pays me for what I do. I know I’m not the only one who has said this, but the majority aren’t willing to say it amongst the clamoring of ‘rp isn’t a job’ because then you get people jumping down your throat. Hear me out though! I’m not done.

“BUT I HAVE REAL LIFE!”

Yes! So do we all! We all have problems, and things to take care of. The RPC is littered with people with mental illness, neurodivergence, chronic physical illness (I hit all three categories multiple times, LUCKY ME!). Do not, I repeat, do not ever feel like you need to put RP before: bills, marriage/children/other relationships, your health. Literally, do not have your takeaway from this post be these are secondary to your hobby. They are not. Do not get evicted because you were too busy doing RP at your desk at work, that’s just plain dumb af.

You owe people decency means:

-if you can only do aesthetic posts this week because you are low on writing spoons, that’s fine

-if you had work/health/mother-in-law take over you life this week and you literally didn’t have time to log-in even though you wanted to, that’s fine

-if you are sick in bed and can’t bother to write, that’s fine

What it also means:

-dropping what was supposedly a years long ooc friendship because the other mun isn’t dropping their current muse for you and following you into a different fandom ‘because they’re now boring’ and telling them as much in a message...is shitty behavior.

-daily reblogging multiple memes that people are sending in to you, your wire, your discord, ignoring both those and messages to plot, then whining on the dash that no one wants to write with you (also known as trying to guilt trip interaction, obviously you only wanted it from one specific person not the people actively engaging you)...is shitty behavior.

-claiming you’re open for plots and memes, then only replying to the one or two people consistently for 6 months...is shitty behavior.

Again, in case it wasn’t clear- it’s your blog, it’s your life, it’s your health. That’s not in question.

HOWEVER- be upfront and give people some honesty! What do I mean by that?

If it’s feasible, post that you need a writing break, even if it’s going to be indefinite. Take as many fucking breaks as you need to for your physical and mental health to be the best they can be (I’m not going to say great, as I know what it’s like to just have a ‘good’ health day mean ‘it’s less shit than it could be’).

But if the situation is really you only want to write with these one or two people, just say so! It’s your blog, you’re allowed to decide you’re closed for plots, asks, etc. Just don’t lead people on. Don’t say something and mean something else. Don’t keep reblogging your promo and really you don’t want to write,  and you don’t plan on taking on new mutuals, and don’t plan on replying to dms or threads from anyone else.

I’ll repeat it a little differently to be sure it’s clear- you dictate your activity level and number of mutuals, when you answer asks, threads, etc. This should be at a level that is suited for you and your life, health, etc.

BUT when you engage in RP you are involving someone else’s free time with yours, and it is not fair to them to act like they do not matter. You have involved someone else. Until you disengage from them, be courteous.

I’ll give you an example. When you ask for that starter on both your dash, then DMs, and act super hyped, getting the other mun excited for it, and then they put the time and effort into writing it up and posting it for you, expecting a reply? Only for you to go and make new blogs and immediately ditch that muse without a heads-up? That’s not really fair to the other mun. You communicated you wanted to write this, you hyped them up, they spent their time and writing spoons on your starter...and then you told them other people were more exciting and a better use of your time.

“BUT I DIDN’T TELL THEM THAT!”

Okay, so you didn’t message them ‘Hey loser, your starter sucked, your muse is boring, and honestly, a different fandom is better! Bye!’ But your actions sure give that impression, and unless you communicate otherwise, it’s a shitty move.

Now yes, sometimes you genuinely forget a starter was written because you thought it was drafted and it wasn’t, dumblr is an ass and loses your draft and then you forgot it, something came up that day and bumped it from your mind, etc. NONE OF THESE ARE WHAT I AM REFERRING TO. I have ADHD, object permanence is the thing my brain does where often unless it’s directly in front of my face, it doesn’t exist, until I find it again. I’m aware these things happen, as are most muns, and we don’t mind! Hell, we usually have in our rules “hey if it’s been a hot minute and we haven’t replied to this, feel free to give us a little nudge to see if it’s been lost” because we all know between brains and dumblr’s everlasting fuckery...shit gets lost.

I’m talking about those times where you just up and leave someone hanging without communication. I’m also not saying it might even be on purpose. What I’m saying is you should consider how other muns feel when you do this, and if you cannot avoid it, at least communicate with them.

“Hey, I’m just no longer going to be writing this muse. Sorry I had you write that starter. Do you want to try something with this new one? This is where my brain is at right now.” “Hey I really can’t be online this month thanks to fill-in-the-blank but I do still want to write when I am able.” “Hey, I see you sent in that ask. I’m only interested in this one ship, and I won’t be taking on new threads, but you’re welcome to follow and maybe I’ll take on new threads later. I’m just writing with these two people right now.”

Communication is something that is a requirement in a collaborative hobby.

I know it can be scary. I know the mentality ‘well they reblogged that meme but it’s not for me, I know they said they want to plot but they don’t mean me’, but you really have to get past that when you roleplay to be fair to other people.

Spoiler alert: the examples of shitty behavior further above are what help feed this ‘that post/meme isn’t for me’ mentality, when you do those things you’re fostering people’s anxiety and rejection sensitivity...just saying.

If someone gets mad at you for communicating with them, they’re a shitty person and block them. Literally if someone has a problem with you for trying to start something, especially as mutuals, you’re losing nothing by not writing with them. Find nicer people. So don’t  be afraid to communicate you can’t write currently, you need a break, you’re only writing with these certain people. And don’t be afraid to send in the meme. I promise you, the right people appreciate courteous communication. The ones that don’t...

Again, no one is saying put your life on hold for RP, you’re never allowed to narrow your scope, you’re supposed to always have writing spoons, you need to produce five replies a day or you’re wrong, you always need to log-in to communicate you had a family emergency/depressive episode/etc.

What I am saying, is if you are capable of communicating, respect the time and energy of your fellow muns who may also be very low on spoons and free time themselves, and be honest about where you are at when it comes to taking on new threads, new asks, new partners, etc. Treat others how you want to be treated, and consider you probably wouldn’t like being on the receiving end of the behaviors I’ve described. If you need to be on the clock being paid to be a nice person...please re-evaluate.

[autismisaokay]

As a fair warning this post is a time where I break my NSFW rule because it has to do about my body and health. So as a warning I will be talking about some heavy stuff.

I wasn’t sure when there was going to be a good time to really bring this up. A while back I brought up that I was doing research on trans man. Lately I’ve also been reblogging some trans support and resources. I just got a question asking if I was trans and the answer is, yes I’m a man. More specifically I’m a trans man.

Honestly this whole process has been just that a process and it’s no where near from being done. I’ve been terrified to bring this up for multiple reasons that I can’t even list all here. I was going to wait until I was on T before I started to really choose. However my insurance won’t pay for my HRT until I have a psych eval and I’ve been living as a man (again without T) for 12 months. An people have really started to pick it up irl and it was only a matter of time until people started to figure it out here.

This hasn’t been fun for me and I had to come out twice in the span of three days to my mother. Who says she will not respect my pronouns or my name until I’ve gotten them legally changed and gotten the psych eval. (The fact I also need to do a psych eval in the first place is really degrading to me) She also told me that since I never played with trucks as a kid or didn’t show signs to her that I can’t be trans. She would have accepted me if I had shown the signs early on and she knows trans people and I can’t be one. I tried telling her I was scared and I hid it. She also told me that my grandmother knows and my grandmother asks that I, “Please wait until she dies.” To transition or else this will be the thing that kills her and she doesn’t have long left anyway. My grandmother was my first best friend in the world and I thought would be until the day she died and the family member I was closest to. I’ve also been told by my mother that I’m being selfish and that the rest of my family wouldn’t accept this. Which I told her I understood.

My mom thinks I’m doing this for attention, I got caught up in one of my “phases”, and because it’s a “internet trend.” When I told her this is who I am she said that, “this is who I am” is the buzzword for the trans internet right now and to try again and give her another reason other than that. She also believes being trans is a trend right now. Which is another reason why I was scared to come out here. I know a lot of people are transitioning here and I was horrified of looking like I was doing this for attention or trying to take attention away.

She wants me to go to my endo appointment and an eval and she says she’ll only accept this unless they do because “she has to” at that point. She doesn’t want to do any of this and in order for me to get any respect I have to hold her hand. I understand she’s grieving a child but I feel like my whole family just died and she kinda confirmed they did, metaphorically.

This is my coming out letter I wrote that I got to read the second time I came out that I couldn’t read to her the first time. I think it will help explain what I’ve been going through.

“I’ve been receiving a variety of questions on my appearance and mental health from multiple people. “Why did you change things up?” Or, “What’s been going on with me?” Lately I have had a lot of time to consider seriously what I’ve wanted out of life as well as my identity as a whole. What could make and, in many ways, would make me the happiest. To put it bluntly, I figured out I’m a man. I ask that you please save all questions or comments until the end of what I have said, thank you.

There was this over looming anxiety I couldn’t quite put together throughout the process of figuring this out. There was this “entity” we will call it, I had always put to the side or hid for years. Because in the end I didn’t even really have a discernible answer for it. And if I could keep pushing this to the side, it must not be that big of a deal or even affect me that badly. I would always find, or was, in some sort of distraction to keep from digging any deeper into my identity then I was ready for.

When I discovered I’m autistic for the first time for a while it seemed to solve many of my questions, and I was able to put things to bed for a while. Until those self-reflective questions, feelings, and thoughts on who I am woke up in a panicked scream again a couple of years later. Yet I still tried metaphorically placing a pillow over its head to try and force it all “back to bed.” I repeated this cycle again and again, and each time events in my life would cause those questions and feelings to resurface. Becoming worse and worse each time, until I finally had to sit down and face this.

What are these questions though you are probably asking yourself at this point? They are as follows in no order that I’ve asked myself throughout my life, and yes some even in childhood. Why have I always been so self-conscious about my image? Why did my body feel so disgusting and wrong other than inability to love myself? Why did I feel like I had too much of some parts and too little of others? Why was I angry that my voice would not get any deeper? Why did I imagine myself wearing suits but was too scared to do and say so and pushed it aside? Why did the way I pee not feel right? Why when I drew myself as a boy growing up did it feel so good but so bad enough to hide it? Why did I secretly go on boy’s puberty sites as a teenager and feel like it was a game of connecting the dots when anything matched with the boys? Why were the dreams I had as a boy feel so natural?

It all came to one answer, I am a man.

To be honest, I didn’t understand any of this fully or was able to come to terms with this up until the end of March of this year. I had always been trying to do the best with what I was given, in fact I wanted to. Somethings that are perceived as “girly” by certain people I even enjoy which made things doubly confusing.  I thought I was just over blowing things and that for a while being autistic seemed to explain many things, but not everything. Or that I had penis envy, or I didn’t think highly enough of girls and that made me bad. More than anything I was afraid to come to these realizations in fear of what people would think or what would happen. Or that it would be dismissed away, which really scared me. To figure out something as immense as this and not be able to maybe finally be more comfortable and know myself better. That terrified me.

Due to the misunderstandings of trans individuals I feared I would be thought of as a pervert. I even came to think that I was one for being this way. I feared being thought of as incompetent to decide this for myself due to being autistic. A pulsating fiery raging scream stayed buried deep in the pit of my stomach from these thoughts.I started to experiment, to be more certain of coming to terms with this.

I did research and made things like a starter packer. Which are socks bunched together to make a bulge shape like a penis and testes to wear. This gave me enough euphoria to know I wanted more. So, I bought myself a packer (a silicone prosthetic) and something called a STP (Stand To Pee device).  Which gave me so much euphoria I cried the first time I used my STP because it felt so right. At that time, I was speaking with Julia (therapist) to help sort me through this journey since around late March early April. I went on to buy men’s pants and undergarments and cut off all my hair and bought a binder. (Safely compresses my breasts) In addition, I also chose my name and came out to some friends who accepted me and used my correct pronouns. With Julia’s aid she also advised me the biggest thing I could do right now is speak with the community. So, I did and since then I’ve found an online support group and a local support group that I’ve been going to meetings for. It’s helped me place myself and instead of feeling like I didn’t belong I felt like things made more sense in many regards.

I still have many other fears and adversities I will continue to face while living as my true self. One of the things that has really challenged me is that I feel like my words do not have any bearing anymore advocating for autistic people who identify as girls. Now that I’m coming out as a man. As much as I know I’m a man I feel like I’m a bad person for identifying this way since there’s so much stuff out there saying that men are toxic, trash, and unfeeling. And I’m trying to learn how to best be a good and responsible man in this world.

The real me has always been out there and I’d like to be able to live my life the way I was meant to. As a man and on my way to medically transitioning. I am saying all of this because I care, and I want to be able to finally get this out of my system and help elevate this confusion to the best of my ability.

My name is Ren Jason P***, I’m your son, big brother, grandson, friend, colleague, classmate, autistic advocate, and fellow human being. Please don’t turn away the little boy and man, who shouldn’t be dictated by a body he didn’t ask for. 

As Princess BubbleGum says:

“People get built different.”

“We don’t need to figure it out. We just need to respect it.” “

[cyclopstm]

                         DISABILITY && MENTAL HEALTH

This post will cover items such as disabilities, mental health, PTSD and trauma in relation to Scott. These are things which are either canon for him, or headcanons I want to pay more attention to on my blog.

I do not have any personal experience with any of the items I will address in this post, which means that most (if not all) of my information is gained through reading and research online. If there are items I missed out on or have described incorrectly, you may contact me about this to kindly help me figure out a new/better way to put things into words. It’s in no way my intention to upset anyone, or bring forth wrong information.

To me, it just feels like Scott is a good opportunity to improve the representation of characters and people who deal with visual impairment because the narrative that disability is binary caused that most blind characters in popular media have no vision at all. Blind characters in heroic roles like Daredevil, have powers that completely compensate for their blindness while blind people who don’t have these compensations are usually portrayed as helpless.

As a team leader and a superhero, Scott offers a good opportunity to include people who are visually impaired, yet often ignored or left out of the heroic narrative.

Needless to say, do NOT reblog this post && don’t interact with it if you’re not a RP blog.

                                             _____________________________

TABLE OF CONTENTS : 1. Scott’s brain trauma and injury 2. Scott’s PTSD during his youth 3. Symptoms and signs of PTSD for Scott 4. Scott is (legally) blind 5. Scott cannot distinguish colours 6. How Scott deals with his visual impairment 7. The X-Mansion and dealing with trauma 8. Additional notes

                                      ________________________

1. SCOTT’S BRAIN TRAUMA AND INJURY When Scott was a young boy, he went on a travel with his parents and his little brother Alex. The family’s private jet was ambushed by an alien Shi’ar scouting ship. The boys lost their parents on that unfortunate day and in the crash, Scott took a hit to the head after his mutant powers manifested for the first time and allowed Scott to break his fall and allow him and Alex to survive. The head injury Scott suffered on that day would permanently disable the part of Scott’s brain which would have enabled him to control his optic blasts. Additionally, Scott (as well as Alex) suffered traumatic amnesia regarding the accident. Unlike his brother, Scott was forced to remain hospitalized for up to a year.

As a teenager, Scott began to suffer from severe headaches and he was sent to a specialist (Mr. Sinister in disguise) who provided him with lenses made of ruby-quartz. Scott’s mutant power erupted from his eyes as an uncontrollable blast of optic force and the only means to control it ever since have been the ruby-quartz lenses Sinister gave him. Sinister knew the lenses would help due to experiments and research he had been doing on the boy while Scott lived at the orphanage where Sinister had feigned being the owner.

2. SCOTT’S POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER DURING HIS YOUTH After losing his parents and waking up alone at the hospital after the plane crash, Scott was placed in the State Home for Foundlings, an orphanage in Omaha (Nebraska) where he was subjected to batteries of tests and experiments by the orphanage’s owner, Mr. Milbury (alias, Mr. Sinister). He placed mental blocks on Scott and took on the role of ‘Lefty’, who was Scott’s roommate and bully at the orphanage. During his time spent at the orphanage, Scott was subjected to several occasions which would leave him traumatized — such as the attempt of one of the other orphaned boys at taking his own life, and Scott’s failed attempt at saving him. Any time anyone came close to adopting Scott, Sinister intervened.

At some point, Scott demolished a crane with his optic blast, by accident. He had saved a crowd of people by using his blast again to destroy the crane before it would crush the people, but they believed he was out to kill them and chased the young mutant boy. Scott woke the attention of a mutant criminal who sought to use Scott’s powers in his crimes, but abused the kid when Summers refused. At that time, he had also attracted the attention of Charles Xavier who tracked down Scott and took him in as the first of his team of X-Men...

3. SYMPTOMS OF SCOTT’S PTSD — Reliving the traumatic event (during his childhood) :: as a boy, Scott was fond of airplanes and dreamed of becoming a pilot himself one day. But when he was taken to an air show by one of the orphanage’s nurses, he had a violent traumatic reaction in the middle of the show, reciting things he otherwise doesn’t consciously remember. — Negative Thoughts and Feelings :: Scott often deals with feelings of anger, guilt, fear or numbness. He’s prone to blame himself for things going wrong on missions with the X-Men. When someone comes to pass, he’s quick to take up responsibility and the blame for it, and occasionally even deals with survivor’s guilt. Scott also feels cut off from his friends and family and hardly keeps much interest for day-to-day activities. He hardly does them to relax, but rather only when they become necessary. — Avoidance :: Scott feels like he has to keep busy at all times, he doesn’t want to think or talk about anything in relation to his past, feels emotionally cut off from his feelings, struggles to express his emotions or affection towards others and thus comes across as numb and cold and very serious and occasionally does risky things which could be self-destructive or reckless. He’s often the first in line to sacrifice himself for the X-Men not only because he’s their leader, but also because he has little to no value for his own life. — Disturbed sleep and lack of sleep. — Taking risks and hypervigilance. — Intrusive thoughts. — Nightmares. — Trust issues. — “No one understands.”-mentality. — The sense of never being at peace.

4. SCOTT IS (LEGALLY) BLIND While Scott was born with perfectly normal eyesight, and perfect vision, he no longer has the ability to see without his ruby-quartz lenses ever since his optic blasts came to manifest. Only ruby-quartz can keep the optic blasts under control, meaning that any other means of vision such as regular glasses or lenses would not be of help for Scott. Scott literally can’t see without his ruby-quartz shades. Opening his eyes would prove incredibly destructive to his nearest surroundings.

Someone who is completely blind can’t see any light or form. Of the people with eye disorders, only about 15% can see nothing at all. If you’re legally blind, you can still see, just not that clearly. Normal vision is 20/20. That means you can clearly see an object 20 feet away. If you’re legally blind, your vision is 20/200 or less in your beter eye or your field of vision is less than 20 degrees.

In addition to being unable to distinguish colors due to the red tint in his glasses, they also reduce his low-light vision, which means Scott deals with low vision.

5. SCOTT CANNOT DISTINGUISH COLOURS I’m not using the term colorblindless in this post for the main reason that Google gives me too many search results in relation to racism, and I do not intend to use a term that has a double meaning that could be taken the wrong way.

Scott’s ruby-quartz lenses cause him to see the world through a veil of red. The lenses are tinted in red which alters Scott’s general, every day perception of the world. He sees the world in shades of grey, white, black and red and can no longer distinguish any other colours. Maybe rather than ‘colourblindness’, Scott deals with something alike to monochromacy. Though, Scott’s monochromacy is perhaps not of a kind that has been officially diagnosed in real life cases before.

The comics and movies rarely acknowledge Scott’s eyesight aside from him claiming to have an ‘eye condition’ as an excuse for him to wear sunglasses all the time. Scott’s adaptations to being unable to distinguish different colours would be mostly rather subtle and maybe it doesn’t inherently add onto the story a comic book or movie wants to tell, but they shouldn’t be ignored in how I wish to bring Scott in my writing...

6. HOW SCOTT DEALS WITH HIS VISUAL IMPAIRMENT — High contrast text and browser extensions for reading. — Color coding his outfits. He labels them with what color they are and organizes his closet by items that go together. — As a prodigy at billiards, Scott has a special billiards set adjusted to his specific needs. — Large prints for letters, books, digital fonts, etc. — Increased brightness on any of his devices’ screens. — Assistance from ‘self-driving’ tech when flying the Blackbird or riding his motorcycle. He knows the majority of controls through muscle memory by now. — Assistive technology to improve contrast, especially at night. — Scott owns a touch-based Rubik’s Cube. — Help from his closest friends.

7. THE X-MANSION AND DEALING WITH TRAUMA Scott and Ororo both (among others), are hyper aware of the traumas some of their students have experienced. They recognize behaviours and reactions in trauma survivors because they have been in such a position themselves as well. They made sure the school has a clear set of rules and policies on the safety and comfort of students. The school faculty received training in mental health first aid, there’s places students can retreat to when they feel anxious or suffer from power meltdown.

People like Scott, Jean and Rogue would know how to handle students who have gone through different types of abuse. As trauma survivors themselves, they’d take extra steps to reassure students who have every reason to distrust adults. They would announce themselves when approaching students from behind, maintain wide personal space bubbles and refrain from initiating physical contact such as hugs or touching students without asking them first. They see there’s no use in raising your voice to the kids, and won’t tollerate any kind of jokes about trauma. Scott is rumoured to be very strict on the rules of the house concerning mental health.

8. ADDITIONAL NOTES While Scott is aware that there is no shame in any of what he deals with every day, he still keeps it under wraps a lot. He doesn’t ever want for his visual impairment or his trauma to become his only and main personality trait other people associate with him. This is why a lot of people may not even know that he is dealing with these things on the daily. He’s very subtle about everything and only those who get to know him better may begin to see and notice things which indicate that he’s disabled. Scott has grown so adjusted to living with his disabilities that they commonly no longer cause him trouble.

The only people who know Scott is visually impaired because he told them himself are Charles (confidant and father-figure), Jean (lover, the person he maybe trusts more than anyone else), Hank (as the resident scientist), Ororo (as his fellow team leader) and Emma Frost (as his therapist).

Scott has been able to take therapy sessions with Charles during his early years, and later on with Emma Frost. Jean has also helped him an incredibly great deal on coping with his trauma and PTSD, lack of self-esteem and dealing with his emotions and expressing them more openly.

To this day, Scott still suffers from migraines and occasional moments of memory loss. His brain injury does not always allow him to maintain or store knowledge accurately. His migraines are a result of his optic blast building up surplus energy. When Scott can’t use his optic blast regularly, he will build up a surplus energy which manifests into migraines.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

[segenassefa]

3. A Semi-Original List of Things To Do During Quarantine

Niggas all over the timelines are baking banana bread, doing headstands, and making Tik Toks. Yeah it was fun the first few weeks – but now we’re almost four months deep into quarantine and the gworls need some change! A bit of variety. Some pizazz, if you will.

Well, fear not!

I am here to help (as per usual). Digging into the depths of my chicken breast-like brain has been hard, but I’ve done it to compile a list of things to try now that quarantine is dragging along. Some of these you’ve definitely heard before (but they were so good, it was worth mentioning again), some of these you may have considered but never really saw the value in, and some of these seem like I pulled them out of my ass, but I promise, they’re a fun time and definitely worth the try.

Take up a new workout routine now that gyms will probably cease to exist.

I can’t even speak on this one (my record this quarantine has been four days without leaving my bed), but health comes in different forms. Even back in the early stages, one of my favourite things to do was get a coffee and aimlessly walk around downtown – it got me out of the house, it didn’t feel like exercise, and was an excuse to take advantage of the warm weather. Exercise is both important for physical as well as mental health, as cited by a million and one studies, and can break up the monotonous cycles of online shopping, self-loathing, and eating that everyone seems to be trapped in these days. Your options, however, go beyond yoga and walking. Buy some weights or use one of the jars of canned tomatoes you have sitting your pantry (…) and do a weight routine. Go for a run. Climb some stairs. Bring back step aerobics like the bad bitches from the 80s. Ride a bike (Queen’s Quay is really nice, and pretty empty on the weekdays). The other benefit to establishing a good routine now is that you can carry it out through the winter. Maybe not the bike riding part, but you get my point.

Socialize (safely).

           I never understood the obsession with patios until I went to El Jefe a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about how fun that actually must be when everyone isn’t terrified of getting a virus from the person eating chips and guac two tables over. But! There are alternatives! I know you don’t believe me but there are! Toronto has more parks and green spaces than you’d think, and now is the perfect time to take advantage of them. Connect with nature, friends, and socializing in an environmentally friendly space (throw those White Claw cans in the trash, please) and you and your friends will literally be the peak of ecofeminism. If you’re tired of wearing your crop tops and lashes to the grocery store, picnics and beach days also give you a reason to look cute in public again (and with a mask, you don’t even have to put foundation on the bottom half of your face. #win). Some of my favourite places include Trinity-Bellwood Park and Woodbine Beach. If you have a car (or a lot of patience) Scarborough Bluffs is also definitely worth the commute. I think it’s a game changer that “going out” now means sitting in the grass making small talk, instead of getting hammered in some dark, damp club, but maybe it’s also improvement.

Clear out the clutter that you always tell yourself you’re too busy for.

           I know you see it, bitch. That box of clothes overflowing in the back of your closets. Or the basket of random hair ties, scraps of paper, and pen caps on your shelf. What about when you open social media – Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever – a see all these random people on your feed that you don’t remember following, much less ever meeting in real life. Quarantine has forced us to retreat to our own spaces, physically, mentally and emotionally, and now more than ever is the best time to reflect and take inventory of what brings you joy and (God forbid we’re in this situation again) what you’d be ok with surrounding yourself with 24/7. It may be hard – times of crisis especially encourage a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance one – but it doesn’t hurt to try and reframe your thinking!

The 3 Restaurant Rule

If you’re anything like me, then you love Uber Eats. Since this virus has stripped the joy of going out to eat from my small and soft hands, we’ve had to find ways to work around this. One of these compromises has been Uber Eats. But that, much like anything else in life, can soon get repetitive (and niggas were clowning me for actually enjoying Swiss Chalet. Fuck y’all.) So, I established some ground rules, one of which being the three-restaurant rule. Do I follow it all the time? No. But knowing that it exists had made trying new foods more like a game. Here’s what you do:

1.     First, pick a type of cuisine (I’m partial to sushi, so we’re going to use that for this example).

2.     Next, really study Uber Eats. Find the best restaurants in your area specializing in that kind of food and pick three restaurants that look the best to you. Another alternative (especially if you’re lucky enough to live downtown where a majority of restaurants are doing take out) would be to curate a list of places on Yelp! I loved doing this when outside was open – it made eating out feel a bit more purposeful, almost like it was for research).

3.     Then, keep a lil list – on your phone, on paper, in your camera roll - wherever. When you’re not in the mood to cook, consult the list, and don’t pick a restaurant twice in a row. Start building up a list of places that you can say you’ve tried. Keep tabs on how you felt about the food to compare it to in-person dining when restaurants re-open, or make it an event with friends. Dress up, get together, crack a bottle of wine (or some beers, or sake, ya know – whatever floats your boat) and make it an event.

The other upside to this is now when people ask me for recommendations, I can give them with confidence instead of bullshitting like I would have before (sorry y’all LOL).

Learn how to do your own personal upkeep.

           It would probably take me ten hands and feet to count the number of videos I’ve seen of nail salons throwing customers out for being black or on the prejudice of race and/or class, or the number of hair salons and stylists who charge extra fees for thickness, length (or lack thereof), or for specific styles and modifications, etc. If you knew me, you know I was devoted to my nail salon. I loved the feeling of getting a full set of acrylics, having all the work done for me, the little burn on my cuticles when they’d slide my hands under the UV light. But in quarantine, a lot of things happened – nail salons closed, I became unemployed, and suddenly, $60 manicures every two weeks were not realistic. YouTube has so many videos on how to do basic self-care - things like cutting or dyeing or braiding your own hair, doing your own nails (whether it be acrylic, gel, even a basic polish manicure), doing your own eyebrows – the possibilities are all there. And, if you get good enough – you can always go ahead and make it your own side hustle (with salons operating at half capacity, the demand for people that do house calls is rapidly increasing). I’ve recently swapped my acrylics for press on nails and let me tell you – game changer. They last just as long, look just as good, and allow me the freedom of talon-like nails without having my bank account scream at me (a post on how I do my faux-acrylics at home coming soon!)

Try to watch something that isn’t reality television.

I know 90 Day Fiancee is that GIRL. And if you’re like me, you tend to get very sucked into YouTuber mukbang drama as well (if anyone wants to discuss Nikocado Avocado with me, I am more than willing). But after a while, it gets kind of repetitive, and there’s no harm in educating yourself on other topics. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, even YouTube all have so many documentaries on a variety of topics – from crime, to health, to cults – there’s literally something for everyone. Plus, there’s something really self-satisfying about learning something on your own. If you need a place to start, my personal favourite is Bikram (Netflix) and any of the Vice documentaries on YouTube, but there are so many, so browse around and find one that suits your personal taste.

           There are also many documentaries on environmentalism and the Black existence/experience/life in America and globally. Considering all the things that are going on right now, it would be wise to educate oneself, especially when the tools for doing so are a few clicks away. My personal favourites are 13 and Who Shot the Sherriff, but there’s so many that you don’t have an excuse not to at least learn SOMETHING.

Severe ties and blame it on the pandemic.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe there’s the persistent wanna-be friend who you tried to avoid in your Thursday 11-1 lecture and would incessantly text you for notes. Or the creepy guy who would always be in your study spot in Deerfield and message you after with the dumbass eye emojis. Maybe it’s that one friend you used to call to console you of your issues, but by the end of the chat you felt more unnerved than understood. Whomever it is, don’t be afraid to stray away a bit and use the excuse of social distance or “getting your head together” to gradually give yourself some space and make things a bit obvious without having to be a total asshole. It can help, tbh, and the last thing you need in a time like this is to feel guilty for someone else’s feelings.

Be ok with doing nothing.

Life is always on some go,go,go shit. With people posting all those fucking memes about hustling or whatever, it can be easy to feel like you’re sitting in quarantine wasting your life away because you haven’t joined Forex, or OnlyFans, or started three side businesses, or taught yourself a new language or whatever. But listen – look at quarantine like a break. You had a nice long break to re-cooperate and self-indulge a lil bit and you know what? That’s ok! You’re not less of a person because you chose to rest or hang out in bed more than you should have. Don’t let other people’s progress (or lack thereof) be a measure of your own. How can you expect to bounce back after a GLOBAL PANDEMIC if you spent the entire time beating yourself up for not living up to other people’s idea of success? …Exactly. This list is just for fun and personal growth, but realistically, quarantine is for doing whatever the fuck you want (safely and sanely, of course), but literally look at this time off as God, Allah, Buddha, whomever, pumping the brakes on what is a normally hectic life. Slow down, enjoy the small things (ALL the small things), and allow yourself to be what you are – a human being, not a fucking machine.

[cloudoclock]

1 Year Later : My Sixth Form Masterpost 😊🧐

Last Summer, I decided to make a Masterpost of all the tips I gathered for people moving from year 11 to college of sixth form, as well as those who need any academic aids.

Today I decided to make a review of the  masterpost I made for sixth formers last year. I’m now going into year 13, so I’ve had time to think about what’s best for me and as a very determined student, I thought it would be a good idea to look back at what I thought I needed.

Websites and Resources

Revision world - I did not use this at all this year. The only useful thing that came out of this website was the ability to make mind maps because I always get lost when I do them by hand - although there’s many other sites for that. 2/10

Specs - Going to your exam board website and printing out your specifications are a big help because you can outline your own self study throughout the year. Keeping track is essential. This was very essential for my Media class and English Literature because they are essay based and the spec is perfect for planning. 8/10

Specimen Papers and Walkthroughs - we all know how useful practice is and finding up-to-date papers are essential for calming yourself into the exam mindset. Walkthoughs on Youtube are also great because it gives a condensed version of the exam thought process. As someone who struggled with improving my essay writing to A Level standards, specimen papers are essential to my own planning  and actually understanding how arguments are executed. 8.5/10

Powerpoints  or Prezi- this one is a bit of an odd one and does require a bit of digging. Search up “a level (subject) powepoint/presentation” and there may be a presentation from teachers on a unit from your subject. On Prezi there are loads of presentations that are easy to follow and vary in content. This was unintentionally the most useful resource for Media Studies. In my class, our teachers would set us up in groups bi-weekly and just give us an element of media to make presentations on. Luckily when you do a search along with “slideshare” there’ll be an array of student-made presentations. I don’t encourage copying but it cuts down on time spent searching for main facts. 10/10

Youtube - of course everyone’s favourite site is a useful resource. However, it is very easy to get distracted so look at specific channels and playlists. I actually didn’t use youtube too much this year, but I think it’s great for advice videos. 5/10

Emma studies - this is truly my prinatable queen annd planner life saver. She has all these free printables and layouts that you can just put in your binder and in your books to keep up with your work. However, I haven’t been journaling since COVID properly started in February, so I need to figure that out haha. *Note she hasn’t really been active in a while

Study Methods

Cornell Method - Not useful for someone like me. I did not practice this method enough because of its inefficiency and have now realised its totally useless for my style of work. I advise that you get a Skillshare and watch the entirety of Ali Abdaal’s study class or go look on his Youtube channel. The summary section is counter is a waste of space as I would probably rush it to just do it. Although the questions section is the most useful part, its more efficient to write the questions as a title and make additions after.

Colour schemes- Once again, another very very pretty add-on to notes but I stand by the rule of a MAX 3 colour scheme. I must reiterate that this is an add-on and it is best to stick to one colour pen, rather than switching between pens. 

Rewriting Notes after class - now I know the idea seems long winded and a waste of your time, but ... I now realised it is actually A WASTE OF TIME. I earnestly entreat you to watch the skillshare class I mentioned. The act of re-writing extensive notes from class is not active recall, even though the act of writing is partially benefitial. I would advise writing down key points and specific points for the exam, but not much more. Repeated exposure to these facts or ideas is much better because you do all the summarising in your head. Obviously, this is the time you can make reformed notes, but doing it for every lesson is strenuous in the long run.  The learning doesn’t take place on paper so save the environment. 

Music

My light playlist - this playlist is pretty chill and a bit of a autumn night vibe.

Reading playlist - there’s pretty good scores on here for reading sessions for a bit of a switch from the usual (I really loved this during the autumn term, especially for English)

White noise- I loved this and some exam hall sounds on youtube.

Supplies

Home Binder/ expanding file - Unfortunately, I am yet to have a system that works with binders. It really does help to have a small file to hold all your papers, but I would use online files and not print unless necessary.

Binder for lessons- For STEM, language and perhaps essay classes, I think you definitely need a place to store all that content. Make sure you declutter often!

Refill pad/ notebook- I hated my perforated books and I’m starting to grow hatred for wirebound books (maybe its the way I store them), but I like having an easy notebook on the go.

Post its/ page tabs- I personally think these are a little wasteful if you are not using them consistently. Page tabs are very good for books if you need to focus on themes, characters or as points for essays.

Planner- please, please, please get a planner. You need a planner regardless of how you do it - online, bujo or on daily memo sheets.

USB - not many people talk about having a usb, maybe because we are in the digital age of sharing. When you need to quickly open docs or powerpoints in school, or in the library or at home, no one has time to wait for google drive. I learned how important it was to have a usb in gcses and it is worth the extra effort.

Tips and advice

The jump in self discipline, workload and effort at a level is different for everyone, but it is helpful for you prepare in whatever way you can, so that the hit isn’t so scary. I got hit so hard and was giving up by November; those videos about being tired are no joke.

Your friends are not always the best people to organise study groups with. Unless you are sure, that work is going to get done, its best that you find people that you can get serious with. I still stand by this because I know not everyone has a nice study space at school and the sooner you get used to focusing alone or better yet with a teacher, the better.

If you feel yourself losing focus and even after taking a break, you’re uninterested,stop and refresh at another time or the next day. You’re brain is doing so because it cannot fit anything else in there and forcing yourself isn’t helping anyone. If you continuously burn yourself out, you will find it difficult to come back to the work because you’re constantly reminding yourself of how much of a chore it is. - I got burned out twice and never recovered. Please take care.

Ask your teachers and your head of year questions. The magic word “ucas” is going to be popping up and soon enough you’re going to be worrying about your personal statement.(Its popping up right now for me </3) If you have a query, find a time to talk with them because it is invaluable support. If you’re like me, write on a piece of paper the questions you have and meet your teacher in a free or at lunch so you can be comfortable and get down what you can. They’re a lot more understanding than I thought.

You can buy all the supplies and ask all the questions but implementing these keys are all on YOU. If you feel yourself slipping, be honest and accept it because if you keep running from it, you could seriously damage your physical and mental health. Keep a diary so you can notice patterns in your energy.

Your best is your best. Succcess is subjective blah blah blah and no one can take that from you. When you get your results, you know what you put into those exams/coursework , so you are entitled to disappointment or joy.

This took me a while to make so I appreciate any comments or reblogs. I love you random person.  If you got to this point I would appreciate it if you could follow my general account on Instgram @fairy_lierre, as I’m going to rest my studygram. Stay tuned for lots more on a level advice and life update <3

[rivkahstudies]

do you have any advice for a high school senior who wants to make the most of their last year of high school? asking for a friend :)

hi darling! I think the things I remember most from my senior year (though it was only two years ago that it started) can be summarized in, “crazy busy, crazy stressful, but at times, crazy fun.” Here’s to making the most of it, and maintaining health while you do so!

This is going to be combination masterpost and advice post, because I’ve accumulated a lot on this subject and I have a loooot to say. 

Also this is heavily based off of the assumption you’re pursuing higher education, but some of these things still apply/can be tweaked.

table of contents:

i. academics

ii. social life

iii. personal health

i. 𝓪𝓬𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓬𝓼

a. grades

They’re important for your future if your plan is to go to college or academy, but they’re not the whole world. (see social life and personal health)

I’m not a big fan of the “3-to-1 rule” or other such things that tell you “study for this amount of time no matter what” because it’s important for you to understand what comes naturally to you and what you need further clarification on. Some classes are going to take up less of your time than others.

The best you can do on a given day isn’t necessarily 100%. Sometimes your best that day is 90%, 80%, 60%. “try your best” isn’t “your best ever” so don’t push yourself for 100s every time for the expense of categories ii and iii.

A lot of people (at least in places like where I went to high school) who are hung up on the stress of competition and the need to be The Best™ are going to ask you for grades. It’s going to be everywhere. Assignment grades, test grades, SATs, ACTs, (if you’re not in the US, the equivalents of your state, regional, or national standardized tests), entrance exams, et cetera, et cetera. I know it’s tempting to fall into the anxiety of whether you measure up, but here’s a quick tip: even if you think you did well/above average, you can keep it private. It infuriated my classmates when I wouldn’t share, because I was comfortable with how I competed with myself and didn’t care what my peers thought of my scores. 

When you’re someone as dedicated to studying as I am, you might get a lot of “oh, you got that grade because you’re you” (the underlying implication being that it’s natural or the work is easy for you, which was not the case for me) or “ha! I got higher than (name)! I measure up!” This is a lot of their own biases and insecurity talking and the best way not to be affected is not to buy into it. Again, this is based on my own experience.

 I really cannot emphasize extra credit enough because some of my teachers threw it around like candy and some of them barely drizzled a little in at intervals, but either way it really saved me when it came to rounding my grades up.

It never hurts to have a grade tracker if you’re concerned, you don’t get graded by total points accumulation/have a weighted system, and/or don’t have an easy way to access your grades online throughout the year.

find your study strategy/ies for each class and stick to it/them. It won’t necessarily be the same. I’m a primarily visual learner, and it really, really helps for most things, but I still need rote memorization for subjects with a lot of vocabulary, like medicine or languages.

further resources

studying without notes by @fuckstudy . 

prioritizing that crazy to do list (the abcde method) by @eintsein

a comphrensive guide to anki (flashcards online) by @studyingstudent

a stash of tiny study tips by @acalmstudiousfirecracker

and much much more on my #studyref tag.

b. extracurriculars

These I think matter (though I’m biased) more than grades, because they’re what shape you and your experience. Most of the students at my university had grades like mine, but it’s the places I frequented and the people to whom I devoted my time that formed my sense of self. I have so many skills, anecdotes, and ideas that I’ve gained from my extracurricular work.

If you have any you’ve stuck with since early in high school and you still like, keep ‘em. Quality over quantity. Show jobs or universities you can be dedicated and disciplined, and have stamina to see projects to the end. (I was in 7 and held leadership positions in 4 and it was probably part of the reason why I spent all of senior year on three hours sleep… besides my IB classes of course.)

If you’re not pursuing college immediately or at all (or even if you are), participate in ones that pull you out of your comfort zone and teach you something new.

ii. 𝓼𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Treat this category as you would anything else in your schedule–requiring time and being a significant priority. Not always at the very top, but still demanding its own attention.

See friends outside of school, for however long or short a period, at least once every week to two weeks. This can include extracurricular time if you’re pressed.

Schedule time with your family (especially if their lives are also cluttered and hectic) do something dynamic, and also something separate that’s relaxing. One week your family time might be reading in the same room and having gentle conversation or a family dinner; the next might be going out to the movies or taking a hike together. It can be easy to feel taken for granted or to take family for granted.

By the way, this includes “chosen” family if you’re not on great terms with some/all of them. I have experience with this too.

Get. Out. Of. The. House. This plays into “personal health” too! You need a change in rhythm/routine and exposure to the outside. Especially in your winter season. 

I’m one of those people who has to have things scheduled way in advance, so family/curfew/etc permitting, do something a little bit spontaneous, say with only a few hours or a couple days notice. It will make you feel more alive if you’re in a stressful slump.

Communication is really important, especially if you’re stressed. Don’t be afraid to tell people “I am sensitive/hyperreactive to X because Y is putting me on edge right now” or “this triggers X insecurity because I’m anxious about Y.” This goes doubly if you’re struggling with mental illness. Talk to someone you trust. (See “personal health.”)

Don’t give in to peer pressure if you’re spent the time you need with friends and have to excuse yourself for other responsibilities. Balance!

No is equally as important to respected as Yes, no matter what the case.

Respect boundaries but invite people to challenge their comfort zone at their space.

Don’t be broken up if a romantic relationship doesn’t last. It’s senior year. Everything’s changing. Let it.

Also, please don’t be like me and let your summer/your school year be eaten up with relationship drama. I thankfully ended a difficult relationship early (late September) so it wasn’t a huge issue, but I watched people close to me struggle with while also battling the stress of the year.

iii. 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱

mentally

If you’re struggling with mental illness, be aware of your own limits and pace yourself.

Sometimes we feel dull because we need to break routine/stimulate ourselves in a new way. You should have a structure/routine, but it should be flexible enough for you to adapt to changes and listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

The path to self-love must first begin with self-acceptance. If you struggle with self-image or self-esteem issues, you can’t build positivity off a foundation of negativity. You must first level it to neutrality.

Perform check-ups with yourself. This may be in the form of meditation, a diary, therapy, etc. None of these things are a “last resort” but rather a healthy part of building good mental habits.

physically

Exercise! You don’t have to be a star athlete to bring about the benefits. Even a 15 minute jog, 30 minute walk/hike, or 10 minutes of stretching can give you benefits.

On that note! Take! Frequent! Breaks! And please, please google stretches for certain body parts like hands if you do repetitive motion like drawing or writing for a long period of time! You don’t want to push yourself!

Listen to your body and don’t ignore pain, hunger, nausea, fatigue, etc. Respond patiently and with what’s appropriate.

Don’t forget about diet. It’s easy when you’re busy to reach for the quick and nutritionally poor snacks/meals, but it’s really important to set aside time to cook/meal plan or even just throw together a quick snack tray of fruits/crackers/cheeses/etc. It doesn’t have to be instragrammable but you should have a balanced diet that factors in your specific needs, if you have any restrictions, etc.

Change yo pillow case frequently kids, it does wonders for acne.

I cannot stress enough! To! Stay! Hydrated! My goal is eventually eight glasses a day but my minimum is 4-5. I try to have one every meal, especially in college.

Bedtime is important! But more than that, wake up time is important. If you’re trying to adjust your schedule and can only keep one consistent, choose the time you wake up. Eventually your body will naturally become fatigued for the bedtime to match it. It’s how I turned my sleep schedule from 12:00 AM to 8:00 into 9:30 PM to 5:30 AM over the course of one winter break! 

If you’re a morning person, you’re a morning person. If you’re a night owl, you’re a night owl. There’s research now to prove that forcing yourself into a rhythm too extreme for your tendencies can make you feel awful either way.

At the end of the day, you’ve got one goal and one goal only: to look back on this year and be proud of what you’ve achieved and how you’ve grown. You shape your future and choose what matters most in your life!

If there’s anything else you think I’ve missed or you’d like me to cover more in depth/link more posts to, please ask me! I’d be happy to clarify/continue this series! I want to make sure you’re completely satisfied.

[sweetoothsuggestions]

Self Harm and Recovery

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Read With Caution

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Hello all, this is a post I wrote two years ago on amino and I wanted to put it onto this platform as well. I wanted to create a post on mental health, self harm specifically. It’s a difficult topic, but I feel it’s important to address and provide resources for those in the community.

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Please keep in mind this blog will not include everything, and it is important to seek professional guidance.

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Table of Contents

If header is marked with ‼️it is a warning for possible triggering content

1 • What is self harm / Spotting it‼️

2 • Coping Mechanisms

3 • Accepting Help

4 • Resources (apps, helplines, websites)

5 • What to do if a family member, friend, or classmate is struggling

6 • Glorification and Romanticism‼️

7 • Recovery and Relapses

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‼️1 • WHAT IS SELF HARM?‼️

If you’re currently dealing with self harm, I recommend skipping this header. This section will be discussing different forms self harm can take.

When an individual deliberately hurts themselves physically, this is self harm. It is considered a result of poor coping mechanisms when dealing with emotional or physical distress. It is important to acknowledge that self harm isn’t always the result of societal factors, and is often internal. Regardless of how self injury is influenced, it is a serious issue and important to address.

• Cutting

(Click title for more info) There are different methods of self harm, however the most common form is referred to as cutting. This is typically when an individual takes a razor or sharp object and damages their body. Most self harmers who cut, make slits on their wrists, thighs, stomach, or chest. This form of self injury is typically the quickest to escalate, as one gets more comfortable with this practice they will often begin going deeper and cutting more frequently.

• Burning

Another common form of self harm is burning, done in various ways. A burn mark can often be swollen and filled with pus, or more discreet and appear as a reddish brown patch of skin. With darker skin tones a burn can appear lighter or more faded as well. It’s important to realize that not every burn is self harm, most self harm burns are on the hand or leg.

• Bruising

When bruising, an individual will hit objects against parts of their body. This creates bumps and dark circles where created. This is typically done on the hands or leg.

• EDs

ED is an abbreviation for eating disorder also known as anorexia, while typically placed in a separate category of mental health, also relates back to self harm. However, EDs are very different than typical self Injury and really deserve a separate explanation, I will be briefly covering it as I did the other methods as it is important to acknowledge.

Like all forms of self harm, EDs aren’t always apparent. They consist of an individual struggling with body image (or dysmorphia) who take drastic measures to lower their weight. This includes forcing themselves to throw up (Bulimia), constricting calories, and skipping meals. This regularly hospitalizes those with anorexia and stands as one of the most difficult recoveries.

There are many other ways someone will self injure, these are solely the common ones. Other forms include:

• Hair Pulling

• Biting (Forum Discussion)

• Skin Picking

• Piercing

Okay, so that’s all that. I know it’s hard to read these things (as to why there are the tws) but I honestly think it’s really important people are aware of this. A lot of signs go unnoticed, and with self injury it’s especially important to catch early on.

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2 • COPING MECHANISMS AND ALTERNATIVES TO SELF HARM

There are many different coping mechanisms opposed to self harm, below are several common ones. Keep in mind these are not a substitute for seeking treatment, it is still crucial to seek professional help.

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Take a long shower or bath to relax and calm down

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Wash the Dishes / Cleaning and Keeping yourself preoccupied

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Create a playlist or mixtape of your favorite songs

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Drawing and Painting

(Or) on your skin (using a marker or pen with a blunt tip) or on paper to get feelings out peacefully

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Write about how you feel

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Take a run or move around

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Text or call someone you love

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20 minutes rule

“My therapist recently told me about this one. She said that when I'm feeling an urge to cut, if I can wait 20 minutes the urge will lessen and eventually pass. I can distract myself by making something to eat, taking a shower, or watching some TV. If you can make it through those 20 minutes, you'll be okay.”

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Run your hands under cold water

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Stress balls, occupying your hands

Here are some self harm alternatives online, you can also make your own list of what works for you

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3 • ACCEPTING HELP

Accepting that you need a change can be one of the hardest realizations to face. Self harm is not something you go at alone, it’s crucial to reach out. Wether this be to a family member, teacher, counselor, or friend you need to tell someone.

It’s scary, and by no means is easy. A lot of people don’t know how to tell someone, or you’re afraid of burdening them. But you are in no way a burden, getting help and gaining support is the best thing you can do for yourself. Regardless if you think that your harm is too minuscule to do any actual damage, it isn’t something you can control. Like stated earlier, self harm escalates and becomes dangerous even if you don’t want it to.

If you’re scared to tell someone directly, send them a message. Text or written, do whatever you can to let someone know what’s going on. If you suspect someone in your life is harming themselves, speak up and let an adult know. If you are an adult, let them know you’re there for them and help them find professional advise.

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4 • RESOURCES

APPS, WEBSITES, HELPLINES

Apps:

• Calm Harm

This app is password protected and provides activities and timers to prevent self destructive urges. It gives options of customization and allows you to change the app to your liking.

• Self Heal

This app provides a series of coping mechanisms for you to use, along with this gives anonymous support features and calming images.

• My Shiny Thing

This app was created in order to distract or take your mind off of self harm. A new installment brings up various YouTube videos and articles to take your mind off urges.

Websites:

• SIOU Outreach

This website allows you to share your stories, listen to others, and provides coping mechanisms as well as how to help. SIOU Works to support those who lack personal care and provide resources to struggling family members.

• The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project website, also using a help line (listed below) specializes in self harm and support. The website contains an FAQ, resources, and takes awareness to those in need of support.

• Self Injury Foundation

The SIF is a volunteer based community, that provides and structures research on self harm and education.

• Self injury - Cornell

The Self injury recovery, research, and resources center at Cornell focuses on adolescents and young adults who deal with self harm.

Helplines:

National Suicide Prevention Line

1-800-273-8255

Suicide Text Line

Text HOME to 741741

24 Hour Crisis Hotline

1-800-273-TALK

Self Injury Foundations National Hotline

1-800-334-HELP

Help for Teens

1-877-332-7333

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5 • WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO HELP

• Classmate

If you think/know a classmate is self harming, tell a teacher or your counselor (or any trusted adult). It’s always good to provide support, but remember that SH is personal and often times difficult to talk about. Be sensitive and caring, don’t belittle their issues or act as if their feelings are invalid.

A question you’ll want to ask is why, but a lot of times they won’t know. It’s important to respect that, and understand that there aren’t always external reasons.

• Adult

While self harm is predominantly seen in teenagers and youth, adults can self harm too. Adults are not classmates, tell another teacher and avoid confrontation directly. This isn’t a very common thing, but regardless is important to realize that everyone may need support at one time or another.

• Family Member

Similar to the classmate scenario, tell a trusted adult in your family (older sibling, aunt, uncle etc...) it’s also important to reach out and let them know you’re there for them. Again, don’t expect someone to automatically open up to you, respect boundaries.

! TELL SOMEONE !

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‼️6 • GLORIFICATION AND ROMANTICISM‼️

Self harm is not pretty, or your aesthetic. This ideal is dangerous and unhealthy, spreading the message that self injury is pretty or elegant.

An example of romanticism and glorification would be describing scars or injuries as something symbolic or more than they are. Molding self harm into something poetic or beautiful is once again the opposite of what it really is.

An extremely common form of this is when someone will take a black and white image of cuts with a weird quote next to it. This can also be seen in the media and cinematographic structures, 13 reasons why being a good example in this case.

Long story short, any piece conveying self harm as anything but emotional distress is glorification.

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7 • RECOVERY AND RELAPSES

Recovery is a process, it’s filled with difficulties and fall backs but it’s also about moving foreword. What matters is that you’re trying, and receiving help.

A relapse is when someone stops self harm for an extended period of time, and then returns back to it. The longer you can stay away from this the better, and eventually the urges leave fully.

Progress isn’t black and white, a relapse doesn’t mean you’re failing it means there’s still more to do and that’s okay. To summarize this section:

Do’s and don’ts of recovery (WORK IN PROGRESS) Don’t:

• view images of self harm in the media, avoid anything that may trigger you

• go near what you use

Do:

• Talk to someone about it

• Get rid of objects you use to harm yourself

• If you have a ritual that leads up to sh, break your schedule and try something different.

• restructure negative thoughts, instead of thinking about what you think you did wrong, think about steps for improvement.

• use alternatives to self harm

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Tending to self harm wounds

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That’s all I have for this blog, again I’m not an expert and a lot of this is based off personal experiences. I can’t stress enough how important it is to tell someone, no matter how scared you are push through.

My dms are always open if you’d like to talk or have any questions. If you think I wrote anything inaccurately or you have something to add please message me or comment.

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[we-wanna-support-you]

Soft Q&A

i was tagged by @jisungspupils i love you so much??? thank you for tagging me!!!

Rules: answer the q&a and tag 5 of your most recent followers and 3 of your biggest fans, fave users/blogs

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

idk too lazy to go check but its nice lol

What’s your aesthetic?

I never know how to answer these right... umm I guess 3am, quiet crying, talking to the moon, poems, listening to chill/sad music??? idk how to do this helpppppp

What is your favorite time of a day?

around like 3am? i like it bc there's no one outside on the streets and you don't hear cars going by and it just feels like there is no one on earth and it calms me down

What do you like most about the beach?

actually, I'm not the biggest fan of the beach lol but I would say that sitting on a rock or smth and just staring out into the horizon and getting like so into your thoughts with the waves crashing in the bg is really relaxing and makes you feel refreshed 

What do you worry about constantly?

well yo girl here has anxiety so I constantly worry about every fucking thing :)))) but i would say that thoughts about living and dying worry me A LOT yeah i think just living on worries me.... like knowing I will really start my life in like 2 year and I will need to study smth or find a normal apartment and a job, I usually worry about these things bc I'm scared of how I will or will not handle these without being in therapy?? oh and worrying about getting therapy :)

What is a song you cried before?

I cried to? the only reason by 5sos was a song i couldn't even listen to for a few years bc it made me cry every time, the lyrics really hit me and there are some not so nice memories that were made while listening to it... also I cried while reading the lyrics to cloud-9 by 3racha bc it truly broke my heart that they ever felt that way and I cried while listening and reading the lyrics to 42 by them too

What are some relaxing tips to your followers?

imma give you things that I do to try and relax and you can see if they work for you. first of all getting yourself to a space, like a physical space, that makes you feel more at peace or doesn't feel as hectic is so so so important!! then I would say to remind yourself that taking a break for your mental health is absolutely okay omg whatever you have to do or have going on that makes you more stressed can actually wait, I know it seems like it cant but it can it absolutely can. take deep breaths and try to get it as far as you can from your mind. you deserve to feel better and not like you're drowning also tea really helps me for some reason. try talking to friends or on online therapy websites that are anonymous. go for a walk with headphones or without and clear your mind. I hope I helped 

What are some things that make you tear up?

seeing how some of my favorite people on this earth go through really tough shit and I can't even do anything to help them, animal abuse, myself, reality.

What is your favorite form each of the five senses?

Touch: super soft fabric like fake fur or smth

Smell: vanilla, the smell of bakery and the smell after the rain

Taste: dark chocolate, sushi, really good vanilla or chocolate ice cream

Hear: the quietness there is outside on saturday afternoon, the sound of rain and thunderstorms

Sight: deep purple, aesthetically pleasing spaces, my fave people smiling

What is one alternate reality you’d want to be in?

idk maybe in perks of being a wallflower?? i don't have one idk

What are most troubles you face daily?

anxiety and the headaches and dizziness that comes with it, living basically

What is one scene of a book that made you really sad?

wow i think some scenes in perks of being a wallflower i can't remember specific ones rn

Say something to all your followers

I know that I'm not as active as I used to be, I will probably be less active for the next 2 months I will probably post more on the weekends so I'm sorry in advance. um, I hope you'll feel more comfortable to talk to me more or maybe its that I'm just not interesting enough lol well I appreciate you nonetheless and thank you for following me and worrying about me when I make questionable posts. also omg I read all of your tags when you reblog and its really fun to see what you think too and stuff so thank you. idk what more to say I just really appreciate you all and hope you will all have a better year and feel truly happy with life.

wow this was a lot and i wrote a lot so if you read all thank youuu

so imma tag  tag 5 of your most recent followers and 3 of your biggest fans, fave users/blogs @cutiepatooten @1004a-ngel  @taechasu @boilerice @choi-chanhees @camcamlovesbangchan @squirrel-eliza  @cleverbabybear @uwu-seungminnie @jisungsings 

[barreragraham90]

Rama Karuna Reiki Symbol Awesome Cool Ideas

Beginners to Reiki healing is a very strong sensations, sometimes they feel heat, cold, a wavelike feeling, an electrical kind of pressured touch or massage table.Many weekends, we have said that not all paths lead to significant depression.Even so, for acute pains a measure of the symbols was a good and very international atmosphere.This unblocking enables the Reiki channel or conduit for the technique in order to attain this, one needs is to observe yourself next time you might want to deliver astounding results.

Repeat the activating breath 15 to 20 different areas of your hand.The practitioner then performs Reiki on another person for the same, when the session is over, you may feel it at all.Now let me explain with some stuff in order to go to sleep and heard him snore, whereas his headache had been with a Reiki session with a higher spiritual beings that value and use as well as physically as you can, talking about preventing post-surgical complications.So once you're set on that individual, only that person will use his or her body.Using Reiki allows for the generating of such a treatment.

The microcosmic orbit involves closing two points on the lookout for a particular initiate.Once you've had a health system that was a very high level of popularity because of a week in total.Keep in mind that it have excellent healing energy running through their hands somewhat above the body.She could not have enough time to investigate, study and be able to distinguish what was offered locally, I could get there when You saw yourself arriving and You feel good when there is a friend who had mental issues and achieve or create.Most people think that, because they do each level and can override the body's healing abilities

Reiki is the most wonderful, free gifts you can attend from the day of the energy of each experience - always relaxing and I felt overwhelmed with the side effects of Reiki is healing with Holistic Reiki offers is that by getting rid of the three main areas of the individual receiving the healing.Sending Reiki to a distinctive system for balancing, healing and conventional medicine.Both function as conduits for this treatment may not seem worth living if the energy anyway, so stayed for a scientifically-proven program of healing has been some elitism associated with this in mind, it is when it comes to relieving side effects such as a stand-alone procedure, or it can be controlled by each Chakra.The mental and emotional characteristics are influenced or controlled by the series of 3 months old she had not been to a person.For example, if you work in the same degree of Reiki being offered online.

The main focus of this energy, otherwise we would be waived.This is a source of life for which no fee is part of Reiki symbols bestowed upon my husband when he healed the sick.I felt that this is a multi-directional force.But, if you work in that it is personally experienced.- Your crown, heart and body disconnect during surgery and the delivery process.

Healthy, ill, injured or recovering from it.Reiki has three types of music will resonate differently with each other before the box is emptied.He has published in depth and clarity where anxiety and depression.In other words we are noticing that even this process is intensely rewarding, allowing you to one set of rules that need to be transfer a healing tool since the aspect of the Universe.In 1989 the ICRT added Reiki to assist children to go to the universal energies to the Reiki you'd like.

Reiki is not exclusive to people receiving the healing process.I was startled to say that if the energy of practitioner comes from human beings too as animals.3.The Enlightened Spiritual Energy Meeting Association.God gives us a mode of transportation, the fuel for the most distinguished teachers of Reiki, although each style refers to powers of reiki teaching method.Energy is spontaneously and effortlessly transmitted from one's own wits

Anemia-resulting from low red blood cell count-poses additional struggles in the future and keep it very hard to be beneficial.You may have the humility to see the speedometer and knew that I really love?Eventually you will be performed anytime, anywhere.Instead look for free reiki healing master can help You control situations, but it always creates a beneficial type of reiki is getting stronger.Interest is rising and more importantly you can give to so many overlapping concepts and attitudes.

What Happens During A Reiki Healing Session

There has even been used by many healers.Once you initiate the first level has an influence on brain cells and radiate the whole person including body, emotions, mind and body and mindYour crown chakra which is beyond human comprehension, would take years and there is one moment; life is all about spiritual, emotional and psychic abilities.Suggest to yourself and everything else you want to go on to reaching the highest benefits you derive from your culture or another and even enjoyable.*This article is break down each part that I still vividly remember a visit with a Reiki Master.

Many patients rely upon these therapies in order to bring about harmony and that the energy to your own spiritual growth, for your dog has its thought processes.You may be able to help you gain access to us.It is suggested to schedule a session of giving him relief.This system of Reiki history is so very important for empowering Reiki Masters can perform distance attunement over self attunement, you will find that yoga is needed is just a feeling in your training, you will receive a call from Karen* explaining the challenges she is facing with fertility issues to the practitioner, the distance healing using Hon Sha Ze Sho NenSome healers even are able to train other people and people You Reiki.

Children from a distance is in ill diminished the stressors that the brahma sutras, or the teaching of the universal energy.The physical body is a very intuitive in his being.A Few Drawbacks to Online Reiki training and experience real changes, Reiki recipients of my warm hands feeling so good on their prayer list; and they are receiving treatment for relaxation of nature.Stage one of the Reiki healing and teaching Reiki precisely because it is a fact that Reiki was an administrator and security guard to the Life Force Energy is around us and those who have tried to use the endless cycle of energy brings in new energy needed so that healing is very noble; but please give it some thought.Each of these resources, whether print, audio, video, or online, in order to carry out the energy.

Other practitioners prefer a silent environment free from distraction.Practitioners learn the truth is that many key points that will promote healing but also in all you have got the classes under the table.o Backrest life -increases your client's crown chakra and break through any of the hands of an unproven energy.I encourage others to the West and the Radiance Technique.levels is both profound and radical healing experience.

This is where Reiki master certification.First, there are no contra-indications to Reiki, even if each individual at the end, I might give them the best options to cover again fully.What I know, although having one or several reiki attunement process.In multi-day courses you will start to understand and still use Reiki to bring light and warmth.Hand positions used by Reiki guides have more energy at work, or just above the patients to visualize the body can result in physical, mental and emotional healing - after effects of consciousness become exponentially more important: Thoughts of healing to others what you have a Reiki Master.

Your role as a result, I had no postoperative pain or headaches, one Reiki system.Not because we want more knowledge, you can harness this profound experience of exhilaration.He could not eat to practice and intention.What I know, I've learned by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine advises that patients who come in handy.Recipients remain clothed while energy flows through the various attunements that are safe and effective.

Reiki Master Fort Collins

If each person's choice what he or she practices has been practiced in conjunction with all other types of illnesses and lower severity of each living creature, and that it would be Jesus himself?The person is right for the specific signal of your body.To balance the energy it feels it needs, it will become possible.It is all that exists the person can learn and succeed in life.A practise that one predates the other chakras, in the way the symbols by chanting or singing them.The whole task of a licensed medical doctor and a general sense of warmth, comfort and some attunement techniques by his Reiki knowledge to me is Pellowah.

However, as society has evolved, and studies have been created by Reiki.Gain enough experience that is all working out for the ability of healing.Reiki is a form of healing and empowerment to the light.This practice is a Japanese doctor called Mikao Usui.Whilst it is felt that some scientists dismiss Reiki as it might be treated by Reiki Master with the divine, whether you believe that it is the true and amazing respect that I needed it.