#also because he's ugly and instead of owning it he gets mad when nobody lets him smash | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hospitalterrorizer · 19 days ago

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diary398

10/24-25/24

thursday - friday

pumpkin patch was fun:

we just kind of stood around a while, we were gonna go out earlier but something dumb happened, my gf's mom broke her wrist because she went to go yell at the neighbors and decided, walking back, to cut across the little rocks between the houses, instead of just using the sidewalk. my gf's brother even, he was with her, saying let me help you, come on the sidewalk, and i guess she was just so mad about the neighbors being loud(??) that she had to walk back across the rocks and she tripped, in her flip flops, and broke her wrist. since she just had surgery on her shoulder, and that arm's hard to use, and this broke her good arm's wrist, she's now really in need of help, and this situation is so... i know that when someone breaks any bone of their own, they feel like the stupidest person ever, nobody else can find them dumber than they feel. but god. it's obviously sad, i feel horrible for her and when i heard i was really worried. it sucks. i wonder if she was drunk at all or not. but i don't know. this situation is so stupid, because she's also, how to put this, i don't know, basically racist about these neighbors. just that they're loud and not white i don't know. i get being bothered people play music loud late or something but how bad is it when you're separated by a few feet... like even when my neighbors partied when i was a kid, it wasn't really unpleasant. i guess it's different, when you sleep in the living room. i get telling them to turn it down but the way she talks about it. it's a little crazy. and how righteous she feels for fighting people. it's strange. it's strange how people can be like this, after so long, still be fixing to start fights with others, i don't know. i don't know what does it, and what makes it hard to not be like that for some, for that to be the only kind of engine in your life, if that makes any sense. like a productive internal force. productive meaning, well not what you typically associate with the word. life-generating i guess. feeding off of conflict like she does.

am i like that? i hope not. i like messing with people a bit, and being a hater sometimes. but idk. i try to keep to myself and do things mostly. that feels better.

today i did write, more transcribing, about 5 or so? notes app thingies, some bigger, some smaller, quite a few appended to other sections making it less of an issue of like, i won't need to find where to put them, instead, they're now parts of other big chunks that need their place.

i didn't begin drawing daan. i keep thinking though, doing all the characters i finished the game with, that would be a good milestone for me, art-wise, it'd make me learn a lot i think. so i hafta!!

okay, other stuff. tomorrow i'm gonna post pictures from the fair, but i have 2 days of selfies, here's from when we went grocery shopping, i thought it was a cute look idk:

and then me todayayayay:

i like how i look in these a lot... very not ugly but i felt ugly at the pumpkin patch. so... win some lose some i suppose.

maybe i'll say more about this tomorrow, i'll try to, i should try and think deeply about something... but there was some ai generated stuff at the pumpkin patch, super obvious, or, i guess not really, if you're looking you'd see but nobody's really looking. i guess i can just talk about it now but looking at it with my friends, pointing and laughing, and thinking about how these images just work because they're gestures of cultural images, cowboys, aliens, you know, it just functions, no one notices or cares, so i don't know. these images exist now as a sort of thing beyond even 'image' i mean they're like, you don't contend with it, we're so surrounded with images/spectacle that we don't even need to interact with the image, it shapes us, reinforcing us constantly you know, or reinforcing itself upon us, it's the mechanism ai imagery relies on. it's so odd. it's hard to feel positive about it in any way when confronted with it like that, like, here is this infinitely reproducible cultural image, forever, here it is kind of rotten, fucked up, but all it being fucked up and melty, obviously...faulty ? in some way, these faulty images, all that says is rather than something else happening, that's a muck that could be shaved off better off the infinite reproduction line, 3d printing bits that you need to sand down i guess. it's really really odd. it's just shapes now, shape of cowboy, alien, whatever, the shapes then tell you okay, i'm in this theme, i recall someone saying these things help us get closer to sludge, undifferentiated mass, something that makes me think of 'uncreated night' what milton described in paradise lost, it seems less like that, it really is so totally from a perspective, and maintaining a perspective that these images are useful, it's so custodial, it's so useful, it helps create something where something more abstract, something like a white wall, nothing but where you are right now, night in a dusty place with some rocks and terrible food, some rides, that's not just it anymore, you're somewhere a little more themed, it's easier to swallow because it shows you something. showing you something, everything has to show you something, ai imagery is really the endpoint of us needing to be bathed in images constantly, to have the spectacle unfold for us, for these things to be/surround ourselves with, subsumed by the image. it's not about the fact they steal even. it's that this perspective is reproduced, it's that it maintains it. it is mechanical maintenance of a perspective and ideology. i ought to be more... precise about this. but i'm sleepy, it's hard i hope i'm making sense. but this is the mechanism by which alienation is maintained, isn't it, that there's all these things, sketched out, reproduced, ways to be, and not just ways to be, but paths of enjoyment drawn out, not just paths of enjoyment, but images of history, images of out there, images of fun, refers back to numerous other things, we're now seeing the referring back, we're in the mechanical use of these images to more speedily keep up an illusion, the illusion never needed much work or creativity, it's why these are so ready to be used here, just as stuff in the background, that there is a background to life, that this is... life has a backdrop, places need to be certain ways. i don't know... i feel i need something more solid under me to speak about the spectacle here, and the custodial function but the fact, i don't know, the fact it's things you'd never give second thought to, only if you look to see the faults, it feels janitorial, a perfectly unthinkable place, as in, you cannot think about it, you pass through it, focus on the important stuff i suppose, the important part being that you're having fun and totally not being scammed by the ticket prices for rides... and that you're totally not absorbing images which quietly impress upon you, no matter how flimsy they are, what kind of place you're at, and the content of them, everything is so normal.

everyone thought that ai would always be so weird and fucked up, artists always try so hard to not have fucked up anatomy, but ai proves, as does some other art i guess, that if you make something that seems normal enough, people will vaguely look, as we all vaguely 'look' at plenty of images day in, day out, inundated with the things, and accept it.

it's complex and strange, it feels really strange. it feels like there is so much to express, seeing it in the wild like this, not just online, not just in something made to be on the computer, you know... and not from just... some guy, but adorning rides and games at the pumpkin patch. there's plenty of other things out there like that i'm sure, but this feels really, i dunno, these machines, you assume they're decently old, but this is like, they're so so so current, up to date. still death-trappy but the images are new and current, 'current' fidelities at least, it's so much, it's almost as if that aspect as well, within a fidelity that enables the looking past the thing, the creation of the profoundly normal image, the correct image, as in, it shifts, continuously, can be regenerated, but at its root, it will be the thing you remember or know. or the cultural object you know, without any real, as it's derived from some kind of fiction.

i dunno. is this silly? i guess. i try to remain ambivalent or, i guess, i just want my critiques to be different from those which defend copyright, they evidently are still, but it feels really odd to see it like this, just in a place for kids basically, you know. is this just where we are now? i thought it'd be a little bit out. but it's now, you know. i thought stuff like that willy wonka thing was more special. as in, i dunno, unique for being a scam. now that it's been figured out how to make these things reinforce the cultural norms and assumptions, i dunno. it feels very fast, and more easy, than it was with other art forms. maybe not. photography one could say, that was used quickly, anything i suppose always was. but the technology itself, the methods, they feel pointed at this use. passing under a range of being detected or cared about because of the way the images have the dslr high resolution thing going on. i dunno i don't know i dun know.

funny how i get up and walk around and get new ideas:

first, that this once again illustrates the super-human, not as in, super-human like superman or something, but super human as in very human, surpassing nothing, qualities of ai, that it is in line with thinking towards efficiency, ascendancy, teleology applied to all domains, everything can 'be better' and better means a streamlining of the factory floor. thought here as well about scenes from megalopolis, especially the one of the ape's back straightening, the posture... the posture, nothing post-human here this is the imagination directed at the future seeing how to work out right now, this is the teleological fantasy materially instantiated. ai images on carnival rides.

second, this is the more interesting and disquieting thing for me, is that what i described as flimsy images, and we have to be careful to not discuss the quality of these images in terms of ugly, and so on, 'poorly made', but qualities of believability, as in things related to fingers, stuff that convinces you, what you're looking at refers to reality or what one can see, at least, in some way. this is why artists pay mind to anatomy and things, and there are plenty who distort it greatly, but this is, even if done through automatism, even if pointless or something, or, i don't know, this is really beside the point, frequently artists will do things beyond regular or do things which may make their work unbelievable, regarding style, distancing themselves from 'life' or reality. why is it that ai gives me this sense of reinforcing it, i do not think it is because i am wrong, it's not really contradictory, it's simply that ai, by collating so many images, it mirrors a populist vision, it simply agrees with the basic image, it reproduces that thing, it's not flimsy since it agrees with that essential image, perhaps, it's flimsy in any sense of "believable image" and believable here does not mean you believe it is real, it really means, just that it has some tethering to formal constraints common even in kitsch stuff, that things be regular in 'that' way, as in, santa has 5 fingers, instead of, santa at the highest resolution possible, brightest cheeks imaginable, happy as can be. it functions on emotions in ways, as all kitsch does but it does so without needing grounding, or, we are beyond needing grounding because what is sought after, desired, and reproduced, are images which agree, again the populist angle becomes salient here i feel like, it agrees with the crowds, a futurism which propels strong images, or, useless images strongly.

youtube

okie dokie... i need to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Youtube

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multi-level-shipper · 4 years ago

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Why is Joey so pathetic?

Well damn let me load up the powerpoint

#cuz his pp no get hard :(#also because he's ugly and instead of owning it he gets mad when nobody lets him smash #batim #joey drew #answered asks #youllallriseintheink

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obey-me-rot · 4 years ago

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You're Mine

A/N: I guess as a writing blog I should be doing some writing right? Honestly this has just been the biggest headcanon I've had in a while since I started playing Obey Me of the brothers just...like Devildom culture must be so different! And then the whole pact thing with human masters must be so different as well! I just view them as big animals just wanting to get your attention u wu. Warnings: Jealous boys, public shows of dominance and a lot of biting.

It's almost painful being in the Devildom sometimes.

A cultural exchange program amped up to 100 %.

As much as you loved the brothers, you also were meeting some pretty cool demons in RAD. Surely you were the human student everyone was so excited to meet, but none of them really talked to you, you know? But there were some that were brave enough to overlook your pact marks and dive into a conversation.

Even some were bold enough to talk to you out of school!

Making so many friends was so exciting, especially since you still thought of yourself as new! Wait till the brothers see how many new demons you have met!

Problem is you forgot how weird demon culture is, especially when it has to do with a demon and their master.

"MC?"

Lucifer blinks as he notices the demon approaching the two of you, pausing your daily walk with him as confusion turns to familiarity and you run up to greet your friend.

The first thing he notices is how they are a low ranking demon, so there’s no need to be hyper aware of any sort of threat. In this instance he doesn’t need to look to make sure his pact mark is visible to the demon.

His mark was embedded right in your iris, so anyone could see whose protection you were under.

He smiles politely as you turn around to introduce them, the demon waving at him shyly as if remembering that, yes, this human made a pact with Lucifer and therefore should not be messed with in any way. Yet there was no sort of violent tendencies coming from this demon, which put him at somewhat of an ease.

That is, until the demon takes a hold of your hand.

It’s a simple touch, one that a human would mistaken for a sign of friendship and camaraderie. The demon was speaking excitedly about a new flower they had seen over at the Botanical gardens and how much they wanted to show it off to you.They tighten their hold and Lucifer has to dig his fingernails into his palm from ripping their hand off.

You had no idea what it meant and the action would most likely scare you.

And Lucifer wanted you to trust him as much as possible.

“Would it be okay if Lucifer comes along?”

“...y--yeah! I don’t mind!”

Hesitation mixed with fake happiness, this demon really thought that he would get some time alone with you, didn’t they? They probably planned this whole thing out and whatever excitement they were showing you was just a front to hide their true intentions. Besides, look how they are hanging off of you, they want to make a pact with you so badly it’s almost disgusting.

Might as well get rid of the pest now.

“Come on MC, I want to show you the huge petals--!”

“OW!”

You and the demon look back to see Lucifer biting down on one of your fingers, your ring finger to be exact, while making eye contact with the pest. His teeth are not necessarily breaking skin but the pain of the bite made all your attention go back on him, turning around to tug your finger away and cradle it close. “Lucifer what the hell!”

He smiles and tells you not to worry about it, your retort falling on deaf ears as Lucifer’s eyes fall on the demon one more time. Their eyes are wide and they have immediately taken two steps back, their back as straight as a needle as Lucifer sends them one last look that lets them know of his intentions.

Leave now or I will gut you in front of my human.

You turn to apologize to your friend for putting them in such a weird situation but the demon is already long gone, no sign of them ever being in your presence as you look around aimlessly.

“They left...” you frown and look at Lucifer, “Next time at least warn me.”

“If I did then you would have probably forbidden me from doing so.”

The Avatar of Pride smiles as he takes your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours as you kept talking about how you would apologize the next day. But Lucifer wasn’t listening, he just kept staring at you as you talked, happy that his master wasn’t particularly mad.

That demon would have to learn to get his own, this human was already his.

He had finally gotten you all to himself.

Mammon had a photoshoot today, making you tag along so he could finally show off his modeling skills. And it would help him out as well. The product they were trying to sell did not appeal to him one bit and he just really needed you as inspiration.

And inspiration did you give.

“Oh gorgeous Mammon gorgeous! Lean back and close your eyes.”

The cameraman was giving him compliment after compliment, excellent after excellent, it was as if all eyes were on him at that exact moment. He smiled as he thought about how you must be looking at him. His shirt was open, letting the cloth hang off the side of the couch as the camera focused primarily on the low riding jeans that showed off the boxers he was promoting.

“Perfect! Perfect!! Now turn around and stare into the camera!”

His eyes opened and his head turned expertly, Mammon smiling as he tried to make eye contact with you--

Only to see that you were gone.

Camera flashes stop as he bolts up, turning to look for you before his eyes focused on your form.

There you were...talking with someone else.

“Mammon?”

He doesn’t stare at the cameraman, only gets up and stalks towards you and the demon currently holding up the lights. Both of you turn to face him, a voice speaking loudly about a five minute break as Mammon stands behind you and hugs you from behind, placing his chin right on your shoulder as he looks at the interloper.

“Are you taking a break?”

Mammon smiles as he buries his face in your shoulder, hugging you tight as the demon tells him he did a wonderful job. Without raising his head, Mammon speaks up.

“MC, who is this?”

“Oh right! Haven’t introduced you. He is a friend from RAD! We sit together in Pactology 101.”

“Well we used to sit together...”

“We talked way too much in class, didn’t we?”

It’s like nails on a chalkboard when he laughs, Mammon feeling glad that he was closer to you so he could hear the sound of your laughter instead of the ugly screeching of the intruder taking up your attention. Did this guy think he was stupid? That he couldn’t notice all the goddamn pheromones he was releasing? Mammon shakes his head back and forth, breathing in your scent heavily as he tries to leave his own behind.

This guy was embarrassing himself with how badly he wanted to form a pact with you.

“MC.”

“Oh oh, remember when the teacher caught us texting in class?”

“I think he might want to just put us back together cause we are still causing trouble!”

The Avatar of Greed frowns, did you not hear him?

“MC…”

“Well the teacher knows we are a good match, doesn’t he?”

“A match made in hell, I would say.”

Why was this guy still talking? Why were you still listening to him?

“MC….”

“Hey after this...would you want to go get some coffee, MC? If you’re not busy.”

“Nah, I only have this toda---FUCK!”

A pair of teeth tug at your earlobe, Mammon growling in your ear as he makes eye contact with the annoyance in front of him. He should be counting his lucky stars that you were still in the room, if Mammon found him anywhere else this demon would be nothing more than a meal for his familiars.

“MC, you have to stare at me or else I’m going to take longer.”

You rub at your ear as Mammon lets go of you, breaking eye contact with the other demon as he gives you his signature pout. He didn’t want you to see him be all scary, Mammon wanted you to see him like the number one demon he always tried to be for you.

“And you had to bite me because of that!?”

“Because you weren’t paying attention! You have to keep your eyes on me or else I’m not going to sell this stupid product. In fact--”

He drags you back to the couch, yelling at the cameraman that he would be posing with you so he could actually get through this photoshoot instead of doing a solo shoot. The man sighs but calls makeup to get you ready, Mammon smiling as he sits down right next to you.

The farther you were from that guy the better, all of his master’s attention needed to be on him after all.

Of course something like this would happen. Bad luck seemed to follow Leviathan wherever he went.

"Did you see the finale of it live?"

"I did!!! My movie theatre put it on the big screen and everything!"

Levi was glad that you were a nerd just like him. It was refreshing and probably one of the biggest reasons he had decided to make a pact with you.

Well, he had tried to kill you first and then make a pact with you but it was still a special story! Who would have thought that he would land himself a human master with his own interests!

Though he guessed that was a bad thing now.

He couldn't keep his thoughts in check as the clerk of the comic store kept talking to you, Levi annoyed that he couldn't keep up with the conversation you two had. It was about some comic cinematic universe that had been adapted in the human world and he honestly didn’t want to put anymore thought into it because of how close the clerk was getting.

Dammit he should have bought the new manga volume in Akuzon...but you had been so cute irl asking him to get the manga in this comic store you found,and if his master was begging him so cutely then what else could he do?

“I actually got the limited edition of this one movie--”

Nobody cared.

“It was up for a lot in Akuzon but I’m glad I got my hands on it--”

Stop talking!

“And I have a pretty cool viewing set up in the back--!”

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, stop talking to MC!

Levi frowns as you gush about the movie some more, glaring down at you for letting your attention stray from him. But why should he be surprised, of course your attention would stray. Him being the yucky otaku that he is, of course you would go with the demon who took his interest and actually turned it into a profit--

No.

No! It wasn’t your fault! It wasn’t even his fault! It was this demon’s fault!

Thinking they looked so cool with their most basic of interests. If Levi could expose them for the fraud that they were, MC would be able to see the absolute fool that this demon was making themselves out to be. Smiling a lot more, inching closer as they talked, even offering to take you to the back of the store--!

People may say what they want about Levi but at least he wasn’t this desperate to get on the good side of a human...at least the first time he met you.

His eyes fall on the back of your neck, hair conveniently placed out of the way as he remembered something Lucifer had discussed with him and Mammon after they had made their pact.

You will not think rationally when you are with them, make sure to monitor your actions so you don’t embarrass yourself.

That’s what he said but…

Surely Levi wasn’t going to embarrass himself more than this demon already has.

“This is the one with the symbiote creature, right? And you got the bonus deleted scenes! Honestly I would be so down with watching it right--EEP!”

Levi made sure to let his tongue lick the back of your neck first before biting down, wanting to make the bite as painless as possible. Although he guessed that not making you feel pain was out of the question as he felt you tense up, his tongue swiping against your nape one last time as he pulled back and tugged on the back of your shirt.

“MC let’s go. They don’t have it.”

You turn to look at Levi, hand on the back of your neck as you tell him that he could have gotten your attention in any other way, but he knew for a fact that he had made his point across with the demon in front of him.

Summoning Lotan in his own home was one thing, summoning Lotan in a store would probably cost a lot…

Even if he knew brothers wouldn’t blame him with how nauseatingly this demon was trying to approach their master.

“MC, here.”

Satan breaks his pencil, but it seems the two other people don’t seem to notice.

“And it's the first edition too, but I took it out just for you.”

You smile and mention about how you didn’t need anything fancy for the assignment, just a simple book that talked about Devildom history. Which Satan agreed, this bug was acting like he owned the entire Royal Library. A pass to get a first edition title wasn’t that rare of a fucking find--if he wanted, Satan could call up any of his connections and get about 16 copies of different first edition titles that spoke not just about the Devildom history but about whatever the hell topic he could get his hands on.

This guy wasn’t that special yet he was acting like he had just given you the world on a silver platter.

The demon sat down at the table you and Satan were studying at, looking at you the entire time he explained how to open the book and how to make sure it stays in its pristine condition.

Which made Satan break another pencil.

From what you had mentioned, this guy was just someone you knew from RAD. You labeled him as the ‘smartest person in the class’. Which was a bit of an insult on his part but he guessed that as long as he wasn’t the one in your class it didn’t count as an insult towards his person.

He, of course, being the smartest demon you know.

But Satan didn’t have to be the smartest demon in RAD to know what this nuisance was doing.

If he were to read you any book on Devildom demonology, certain demons needed a human master. This insect in front of you would count as one of them. Lower demons usually tend to be without guidance and need a soul to feed from. In comes a human master, being able to fulfill that need with a pure soul of their own. The demon feeds and in return, develops a sort of ‘affection’ towards their master since they are now the hand that feeds them.

The same couldn’t be applied to Satan or his brothers, however. As the seven demon lords, they are able to gain the sustenance they need from the feed of other lower demons under the sin they were made in.

They are free to form pacts, but it’s not like they need it.

A good metaphor would be that they are essentially ‘picking off the plate’ of the lower demons, making the lower demons only cause minimal casualties up in the human world as they feed and keeping the seven lords from going feral with hunger.

Of course, things were different now. Satan had you now, a human all of his own.

Essentially, someone was trying to ‘take a bite’ of his favourite food, and Satan hated sharing.

Friends be damned, politeness be damned, he needed to show this demon his place.

“Isn’t it fascinating? The cover was made with a demon’s skin.”

“....really?”

“Yes. I believe it was from recently dead demon’s during the first Celestial War. Do you want to feel?”

You nod, curious about the black and shiny cover as the demon holds out his hand for you to take--

Only for you to yelp as Satan takes it first, dragging your hand back so it would be close to his lips as the Avatar of Wrath’s teeth bite at the skin near your wrist. You hiss in pain at the sudden sharpness, quickly pulling your hand back and staring at your demon as he gives the annoyance one last pointed stare.

“That is how demons started their pacts before we arrived in the Devildom, wasn’t it?”

The demon nodded slowly, his eyes darting to the mark on your wrist and then back at Satan. He opened his mouth to try and speak up but seemed to decide better against it, giving you one last smile as he stood up. “...I’ll...I’ll go get you the second volume. That one might include more accurate and updated information on pact markings.”

Satan smiles and nods as he scoots his chair close to you, looking back at you tracing the mark on your wrist with a frown before putting all your attention back on him.

“Did demons really used to form pact marks like this?”

The Avatar of Wrath shrugs.

“I was only guessing, he was the one who left thinking it was the truth. Here, let’s go look for a book on our own.”

Asmo would like to think that he had perfected the fake smile to the point he could keep it up for an indeterminate amount of time.

“MC! Try this!”

Yet the corners of his mouth twitched as he watched one of your friends, who happened to be a store clerk at Majolish, open the door to your dressing room to hand you another outfit they had picked out. And it wasn’t a bad outfit--!

Just...did they have to keep opening the door every single time?

Granted, he shouldn’t be in your dressing room in the first place but he insisted he would stay since you were only trying some shirts on! It wasn’t like he was seeing anything inappropriate and your pants were staying on the entire time.

This sight was okay for him because he was your demon and you were his master.

So it wasn’t right that some random nobody kept coming in to hand you shirts that they thought looked cute on you! That’s what you had Asmo for!

Yet here he was, secluded to sit down on the little chairs that someone would usually toss the unwanted clothes they wouldn’t buy. Which was already doing horrible things for his self-esteem.

“I learned a couple of things by working here. See? The color really matches your hair.”

The Avatar of Lust scoffs when he hears that. What exactly did the demon learn? How to match colors? Oh look, someone learned the basics of the color wheel, someone give them a medal.

“And since you are wearing something long at the bottom, it’s only fair that you go with something short on top.”

This demon is going to win an award for making basic observations, Asmo could already see it. What a future they had ahead of them.

“These colors are summery too so...it goes great with the weather!”

Oh he wants to gag, Asmo’s heard enough.

“You don’t think it’s too revealing? I do like the color though…”

Before the demon can answer, Asmo grabs your shoulders and pulls you back to him with a smile as he makes you look in the mirror.

“I think it’s revealing enough for the summer look you are going for...except can you maybe get it in a light pastel? Any color would do it just needs to be a pastel color if we want it to go with the light color of your bottoms.”

The demon deflates at the sudden lack of contact with you but nods as they step out, waving goodbye and stating once again how ‘gorgeous’ you looked. Which Asmo guessed was the only compliment they had in their arsenal.

Gorgeous didn’t even begin to describe you.

“I did like this color, Asmo. Does it not look good?”

“No it looks perfect on you! But--”

He tugs on the floral print top and smiles as he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

“Floral prints are extremely last season and I want you to be on a more neutral type of clothing. Just simple colors. This way we can add some jewelry--some of my own creation of course.”

Asmo smiles when you giggle, fixing your top and looking at yourself in the mirror a couple more times as you mumble to yourself about how Devildom summers seem rather temperate compared to the ones you were used to and how you wouldn’t need anything sleeveless.

Damn the Devildom summers, if they could even be called that at all.

His ears twitch as he hears the pest start to make their way back, Asmo’s smile dropping slowly as he looks down at your neck. This was the spot they kept staring at, wasn’t it? Shame it wasn’t decorated--

But he could fix that~ “I found some other colors that would go well with you MC, do you want to--”

“OW OW OW!”

Asmo’s teeth are right on your neck, turning to look back at the clerk with a smile and a little wave as he hums at the way you clench and unclench your fingers while looking at him through the mirror, wanting to ask just why he was doing this but the pain keeping you quiet. It was cute how much you were hurting but how you were doing absolutely nothing to stop him. This could technically mean that you approved of what he was doing, correct?

He lets go as the clerk immediately closes the door, you calling out for your friend but Asmo brings you back and makes you look at the mirror one more time.

“There we go. That’s a pretty mark, right MC? An Asmodeus Limited Edition item, just for you~”

If this kept happening, Beel was going to eat this demon.

“You need to try some Devildom food, MC! I promise it's good!”

Beel stomach growls again as you laugh, ignoring the parfait in front of you. He gives you a tap on the shoulder and your attention is right back to him. “Oh sorry, Beel. Here!” You scoop up the delicious frozen treat and feed it to him, Beel smiling as he takes another two bites of his hamburger and watches you and your friend talk. He actually had no idea that you had any friends in RAD and was happy to see that at least some demons were treating you nicely, compared to theo ones who had teased you when you first arrived.

Well he said teased, more like threatened to eat you.

He figured you would make friends fast though, you were nice and all the demons here were already attracted to human souls so it was bound to happen that one of them would have the courage to talk to you.

Yet this one seemed rather...eager.

“How about this. Hell’s Kitchen serves good food but I know this awesome corner in the wall place we can get some grilled bat sandwiches. Guts and everything.”

His stomach growls again, he knew of the place this demon was talking about and would most likely want to take you there himself if you ever asked.

Beel takes another two bites before waiting for you to feed him the parfait.

Nothing.

He frowns and stares at you again, the demon keeping your attention all to himself as you spoke about how you didn’t necessarily want to eat anything with guts in it. His eyes went to the parfait, watching some of the perfectly placed scoops slowly melt and droop down on the plate.

MC, pay attention to him!

This was his time with you! He didn’t mind if someone else stepped in and he was glad you were making friends but this demon was interrupting his mealtime!

He ate his burger, you fed him ice-cream, this is how it had always worked!

People could say what they wanted but Beel was a creature of habit, and he was in the habit of having you feed him.

Not just that, he was in the habit of having your attention all on him when it was his time to hang out with you.

Wasn’t this demon just being a bother? Didn’t you also want them gone?

They kept talking about all the stuff that clearly grossed you out, seemingly delighted with your reactions as they kept trying to egg you on to say yes to an outing. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were smiling the entire time, Beel would have already made the move to unhinging his jaw and--

“I promise I’ll treat you to the best ghost pepper pizza you’ve ever had. You’re free after this, right?”

Beel’s stomach growls, whether in hunger or anger Beel wouldn’t be able to say. All he knows is that this demon is bad news for both him and you.

So what would be the quickest way to make him back off?

“I’m not but I can take a raincheck--!”

You drop the spoon you were holding as Beel bites your cheek, throwing the demon one quick glimpse before letting out a few sounds that seemed to make up your name. The demon stares at you and Beel as the Avatar of Gluttony pulls away from you, licking his lips as you slowly put a hand on your cheek and turn to look at him.

“The parfait is gonna melt. I want another bite.”

“Beel…”

Eyes turn to the demon once again, Beel frowning as he takes a hold of your hand underneath the table.

“Please leave. If MC is going to eat Devildom food then they’ll eat it with me. The only thing you are going to do is gross them out.”

“So what did you want to talk about?”

Belphie frowned as your fingers gently played with his hair. That is not what he had asked for when he asked to lay on your lap. Belphegor wanted the usual way you would comb through his hair, both of you gently whispering to each other as the planetarium ambience lulled him to sleep.

“Well...uhm...I wanted to ask something important.”

And who the hell was this person? He peeked up to look at you smiling at the screen, frowning that you still didn’t seem to notice you were doing a shit job at giving him the attention he needed. Whoever this was had been on the line with you for a good solid ten minutes, talking about useless subjects such as their day and what they had for lunch. If anything, Belphegor had no idea how this thing was taking your attention. You were doing most of the talking anyway, they should just hang up and leave you alone to pay attention to your demon.

“We’ve known each other for a while.”

Belphegor most likely knew MC for longer...maybe.

“And honestly I haven’t met a human like you before. You just...I just expected humans to be something and you aren’t that so it threw me off.”

The Avatar of Sloth yawns as he buries his head in your lap, smiling at the darkness he found in the small crook of your thighs. He yawns again and closes his eyes to try and fall asleep but the grating voice of the demon on the phone was sending nothing but warning signals to his brain.

“So I wanted to ask something I didn’t think I would ask a human before.”

He really wanted to yell ‘get to the point’ or ‘hang up the phone’ but he knew that you would most likely shush him and tell him to be patient, which would then result in you gently pushing him away so you could talk somewhere more private. And he wasn’t ready to lose his favourite pillow just yet.

So he continued listening, tracing random shapes on your thighs as he felt his eyelids start to droop.

“I know you have seven pacts already…”

Damn straight.

“But would an eight be too much for you?”

That wakes Belphegor right up, eyes wide open and head turned to face up at you to see your reaction. Of course you would be surprised, this demon really had the guts to ask the current master of the Seven deadliest demons in the Devildom for a pact?

You better be grateful that Belphegor found comfort in your lap and would prefer to stay here, rather than go break the neck of the demon insolent enough to try to take his master away.

So go ahead, reject him.

“A pact? With me?”

What were you doing?

Don’t give him such a hopeful answer! Belphegor had to share you with six other demons constantly and those demons were his siblings! He was okay sharing with Beel but he drew the line at anyone else! Adding an eighth demon to that would be like asking for a bloodbath, a bloodbath with only one target.

Belphegor frowned as the demon started talking again, stuttering and jumping over his words like he was a dog who asked to eat their masters table. Which essentially he was, not like there was room for him anyway.

“I know I’m not like those brothers--”

Damn straight.

“But making a pact with you would make me really happy...is what I am trying to say.”

He wants to gag.

A part of him couldn’t blame the demon, you were perhaps the best master a demon could ask for, but you were already t a k e n.

And you were to blame too, you know?

You weren’t rejecting him like you should. The face you were making was far too surprised and flattered at the proposition given to you. Were you that greedy? Had Mammon rubbed off on you? You had seven of the most powerful demons under your command, what more could you possibly want?

As a master, you were doing a bad job at rejecting this insect and an even more horrible job at not paying attention to the actual demon you were tied to.

He turns his head back to the darkness of your thighs, feeling you shift as you also struggle to find an answer. This was becoming too much, if Belphegor didn’t act fast you were most likely going to say yes, just because you didn’t know any better!

Fuck it, you could try to push him off but Belphegor would hold on tightly, he had to save you from your mistake.

“Uhm. Well that is honestly really flattering. And eight pacts wouldn’t be so bad--”

You slap a hand over your mouth, your teeth biting into your tongue as you look down at the demon nipping at the inside of your thigh. Belphie looks up innocently, batting his eyelashes at you as he bites down a little harder--

“I’ll-try-to-have-an-answer-for-you-later-got-to-go-bye!”

Fingers hurry to end the call as Belphegor quickly lets go, smiling as you gape down at him.

“I was in the middle of a call!”

“I know.”

“Then what was that about!?”

The Avatar of Sloth shrugs as he closes his eyes.

“You weren’t paying attention to me. It made me mad.”

You sigh and lean back, Belphegor waiting for a few moments before smiling as he feels your fingers combing through his hair.

“Next time,just talk to me, Belphegor.”

He would have answered, but that would make him promise something he most likely was not going to do.

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i-cant-sing · 4 years ago

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hi!! can i request a platonic yandere erasermic with a student reader??

Platonic Yandere! Erasermic:

Thanks for requesting! I love yandere Erasermic so much 😤😤 👊

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Platonic Yandere! Erasermic:

The BEST platonic yandere couple to have!

You're a student at UA, part of class 1A. You're Aizawa's favourite student. You're just so polite and so sweet. Always so eager to learn and try out new things. And even the class would notice his special treatment of you. "You forgot to do your homework? Hmm, alright you can submit it to me tomorrow. Denki you forgot to bring your homework? Go run 5 laps right now."

Hizashi would often hear about you from his husband. You sounded like a good kid. But he really became interested you when you came looking for Aizawa in the staff room, but you found him instead. Hizashi started talking to you, really just rambling about the most random things. He was expecting you to just leave and go look for Aizawa, but he was pleasantly surprised when you started talking to him too, easily carrying the conversation. Your eyes would light up when you were talking to him. And since then, you would always give him your complete, undivided attention whenever you guys spoke, no matter what the topic was. You'd sometimes be rambling, and then suddenly forget what you were talking about. It was just so cute!

Gradually, these two would become obsessed with their favourite student. They'd also become very protective of you. When it was time to choose an internship, Aizawa rejected all offers from different agencies on your behalf, lying to you that you didn't get any offers. And then you'd become so sad, near tears and then Aizawa would offer to train you himself, that he sees potential in you. Of course you'd accept, you'd get to train with Eraserhead, a rare opportunity!

When you'd be training with Aizawa, he'd go easy on you, but he'd still give you great tips on how to improve yourself and control your quirk. You still haven't been able to beat him once though. Since you'd be around Aizawa a lot, you'd also meet his partner, Hizashi, often. And since you would accompany Aizawa on his late night patrols, you'd have dinner (made by Hizashi, who's more than happy to cook for you) with them at their place a lot, and it always ended up with them offering you stay the night, and you sometimes did.

Their obsession love would continue to grow the more you spent time with them. And then one night, the couple would be discussing about expanding their family, and then they both knew it, right then and there. Its you. You'd be the perfect addition to their family, the perfect child! You're so kind, soft spoken. Outgoing yet shy and reserved when meeting new people. But you're just so naive, too innocent for your own good. And they've both seen the ugliness of the world, the worst in the people. They cannot afford to just stand by idly and risk you getting tainted by this filth.

It was decided that night that you had to become a part of their family. They'll make your parents disappear, they have both the money and the skills to do it. Maybe they'll say that your family was taken or killed by some villians, or better yet, they were caught doing something illegal. But don't worry, you can stay with them for as long as you want. When you try to refuse, that you can stay with a relative, they'll tell you that it's for your own safety. They don't want the villians to complete their unfinished business. Plus, they are more than capable of taking care you, and since you didn't want to risk another family member's life, you agreed.

You'll be having the best time of your life. They'll spoil the hell out of you, Hizashi especially. Aizawa does too, but he's just more protective of you.

Hizashi is a great cook! He'd learn to make your favourite dish too. And if you like something from a restaurant, he'll take it as a challenge and try to replicate the dish, or make a better one! At school, all 3 of you would sometimes have lunch together, you always bringing Aizawa's lunchbox along too, since he often forgets it. If you try to cook a dish for them, they'll treat it like its a Michelin star dish!

Aizawa would be the more protective one, always the harder one to convince to let you go out with your friends, especially at night. Hizashi would always convince him in the end, they're gonna follow you anyways so why stop you? Aizawa's a bit possessive too. He doesn't like it when you talk about other pro heroes, you're his little girl, you should be looking upto him. He won't say anything about it though.

Hizashi would love to just talk to you; you guys would often gossip. Oh and you always go to him for any fashion advice. Since he also has long hair that he styles up a lot, he can do your hair too! Just show him a picture of what you want, and he'll style hair exactly like it. Aizawa likes to do your hair too sometimes, but he only knows how to put it in a simple braid.

They're will be a lot fun activities for you to do with them. You can be having karaoke nights with Hizashi, Aizawa watching you guys with just pure adoration in hie eyes. You can play video games with Aizawa, which he is scary good at, especially at Among us. Family game nights are a must!

If you have any other hobbies or passions, you'll have 2 dads, cheering for you. They'll get you the best supplies available. If you win an award, any award, no matter how small, they'll tell you how proud they are and put your achievements either on the fridge or somewhere where everyone can see it.

Of the two, Aizawa would be the to quickly pick up on your mood. He knows when you're lying, when you're sad, or when you've just had a bad day at school. Hizashi would notice too, but it would be Aizawa who would know if you needed some space or if you needed to talk it out; they've always it clear to you that the latter option is always open.

Once they find out whats the reason you're feeling so down, they'll comfort you. You guys would often cuddle on the sofa as a funny movie played on the TV. Once you've gone to bed, they go and eliminate the cause of distress. Oh did you fail a test? Its okay, they'll tutor you personally. Oh did your favourite character die? Cry it out sweetie and let's go buy some of the character's merchandise . Oh did someone confess their feelings to you and you don't know what to do? Don't worry, he's taken care of.

Dating isn't an option. They'll be quick to reject him/her, listing reasons to you exactly why they're not good for you. Of course, nobody deserves their baby. But if you do go against their wishes, and still get an s/o in secret, they'll find about it. If they're thinking about how to separate you guys, and you walk in all heartbroken because your s/o broke up with you, with no persuasion from the couple; on the inside they'll be both glad and mad. Hizashi will be comforting you, cooing sweet nothings in your ear, while Aizawa would be standing with a "I warned you" look on his face at first but then he sees your red, teary face, your lips wobbling, your eyes full of pools of tears, and immediately his stern exterior would melt and he'll gather you in his arms and let you cry into his chest, while his mind will go to "MURDER". You're their sweet girl, their precious little baby. How dare someone play with your feelings like that. Your ex better sleep with one eye open.

If you do somehow find about what really happened to your parents, and you try to run away from them, not only will they have you back in their arms within the hour, they'll take you somewhere countryside. Its always been noisy in the city anyway. They'll try to explain to you, that they really just did all of this to protect you and that it should show how much they love you and care about you. No physical punishment will ever meet you. No, they can't bear the thought of hurting you! They'll use manipulation to control you, and they are master manipulators. They do so much for you, aren't they enough?

Just be happy they still allow you to roam around the countryside, and not had you locked up in your room. School would be off the table for a while, as will any connection to your friends. Its about time they all had a family vacation anyway.

I'd let Erasermic adopt me in a heartbeat, ngl. 👊 Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this! Requests are OPEN. :)

#yandere erasermic #yandere eraserhead #yandere present mic #yandere erasermic x reader #platonic yandere #erasermic x reader #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere mha #bnha headcanons #yandere aizawa x reader #yandere present mic x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere hizashi #aizawa x reader #platonic erasermic

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saabbi · 3 years ago

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Regret part 9

Light in darkness

Genshin Impact Adeptus! reader

warnings: self-deprecation, imposter syndrome

word count: ~1.7k

notes: please remember that you are loved, and not just in the fic itself.

[previous] [next]

No words are needed to exchange. Zhongli must surely be curious, worried even, to find out what happened in Snezhnaya. But he remained quiet, pushing away the rampant thoughts running across his mind.

What’s most important isn’t digging out what happened, but that you’re alright and safe.

Zhongli doesn’t miss the pale complexion on you, making sure to swing by Bubu Pharmacy to ask Baizhu for some antiseptic cream and aspirin just in case you’re still feeling unwell.

He brought you to his residency, which is unsurprisingly close to the funeral parlour. A few sprouting flowers in the interior caught your eye, the blue distinguish colour resembles that of a jewel. It must be a good season for glazed lilies to grow and bloom.

“Would you like tea?” Zhongli turns his head to you, holding up a few cups.

“Yes, please.” He also takes out some cakes, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you’re way too full for some tea snacks.

Zhongli is definitely inquisitive, his occasional glances and slight frown shows that he has much more to say apart from asking if you want tea and snacks.

But he didn’t ask you any questions, never pressuring you into telling him. He decided to wait until you feel ready to talk about it. For you, he can always wait.

You hold the cup in your palms, the warmth gradually spreading to your whole body.

“Zhongli,” you take a sip of the refreshing tea, making up your mind. “Can you ask Ganyu and Xiao to come? I… have something to tell you all.”

Zhongyi nervously nods with his heart thumping, not sure if he’s ready to hear what you have to tell them.

Silence fills the room, then your sharp inhales, the unsteady voice and shaking pupils as you begin to speak.

Your shaking voice, your spilling emotions, your trembling hands. The suffocating feeling in your heart and the bitterness in your throat. You keep on going, you can’t think straight, you feel light headed and exhausted, but you want to keep going. You want to tell them, the things you saw, the things you felt, the worthlessness eating you away.

Ganyu tugs your arm and hugs them tightly, Zhongli and Xiao each resting a hand on yours to remind you that they’re here. They let you keep going, even if you look like you’re in pain.

They listen in silence, allowing you to spill everything in the safe space. You stop for a second, hearing sniffles from the horned girl next to you.

Ganyu shakes her head, telling you that she’s okay, and that you can go on.

With trembling eyes and hoarse voice, you tell them, how you thought you would be okay even if the Tsarista didn’t need you anymore, thought it would be okay even if she throws you away. But you weren’t, your heart sunk to the bottom when she implied that you’re no longer needed, as if all the time you spent by her side as a faithful subordinate meant nothing to her.

You mentioned that you know the Tsarista is only interested in the power you possess, you repeatedly told yourself that if it’s what the Tsarista desires, you shall comply without any hard feelings, for you are her harbinger, her title-less twelfth harbinger.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did you feel something worse than physical pain? Like you were stabbed with thousand swords, mercilessly piercing you without a break, making you lose your breath and vision cloudy.

It felt like the world crumbled, blood rushing to your head and the sudden heaviness taking over your body.

Oh. In the midst of talking your own feelings out, you realised- you felt angry, desperate, hurt, betrayed.

You realised, that over the years, loyalty is not the only thing that sprouted. You always brushed it off, pretending like it never existed, but deep down, you felt angry.

Angry at the Tsarista for pulling you away from Liyue, angry at her for letting you go through terrible things, even if you can’t remember clearly what happened.

The mixture of admiration, loyalty, desperation and anger has always stuck within you whenever you see her cold yet graceful figure.

But you had nothing except her, so you clung onto your loyalty towards her and repressed other thoughts of her, ignoring the tingling senses and blindly telling yourself that you’re always loyal to the Tsarista.

Every single word that comes out, Zhongli takes them in all, even if it pricks his heart like thorns. He takes a deep breath and shuts shis eyes, he wants it to stop. But he knows he has to listen and share your burden.

He wants to listen, even if it hurts, lamenting for the times he couldn’t be there for you. But now, he could. And the least he could do is to listen to you.

In the past, Zhongli failed miserably as a guardian, but now he has the chance to be with the three of his beloved adepti once again. He’s the listener, he’ll always be willing to listen to you if you confide in him.

Zhongli takes one last gulp of his tea. He embraces the crushing pain in his heart and clasp your hand tightly.

You stutter and choke out some incomplete sentences in the process, words tying into knots, but it’s okay. There’s no need for you to rush, they have all the time and undivided attention for you to tell them whatever you want.

Your right hand feels like it’s about to be crushed, somehow. You glance over to the side and is met with another pair of amber eyes.

Glossy eyes filled with uncertainty, concern and shock. His mouth gaped open, unable to find words, so he chooses to hear instead of responding.

The way you described your journey in Snezhnaya feels lonely to him. Xiao is no stranger to the feeling of solitude, but your gaze feels far, far more lonelier than what Xiao has ever been through. He watched as unfathomable emotions swirl in your eyes, your gaze shifting every so often in trying to find the right words.

A part of him thinks that, perhaps he should’ve sought for you, or even just send a single letter millennia ago instead of pathetically dreaming in the Wangshu inn, then perhaps you wouldn’t have to always feel like you're all alone without anyone to rely on.

Xiao holds your other hand tightly. He doesn’t know how to show affection, but he hopes that this reassures you that you’re no longer alone.

Your lone narrative went on for minutes, then hours, until you lost track of time. You then mutter the last few sentences.

“I lost my powers, I don’t feel qualified to be an adeptus anymore, I-“ this part is harder to say than anything else. “I don’t know why I’m here, or anywhere anymore.”

“I feel like I…lost my purpose.” First was your abandonment from Zhongli, the bane of your misfortune. Then was the Tsarista, the one who broke you more than anything else. You feel lost in life, wandering without a purpose.

“I’m just a… nobody.”

Slam. The sudden impact on the table made you jump. You look up at Xiao who suddenly stood up and slammed his fists on the table with brute force.

His frown is deep, eyes burning with fury and looking at you with disbelief. He is livid.

“Don’t you dare say that one more time.”

Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows and tilt your head a bit. At first you thought he’s mad at the fact that you willingly let your powers be taken away from you, but that doesn’t seem to what he’s mad at.

“You are not worthless, not a nobody. I won’t forgive you even if you say that one more time, even if you said it yourself.”

Xiao clenches his fist tightly, glaring at you. He rarely gets mad at you, it makes you feel a bit guilty.

“Xiao’s right.” Ganyu joins in, her palms squeezing your arms with force making you turn to her. “Please do not say that, ever again. You mean everything to us, how could you- how could you say you’re worth nothing?”

Ganyu has a sorrowful look instead. You don’t know how to respond to them, you can’t figure out whether the present incompetent you means everything to them, or the you they once knew and adored.

You think of the latter one. After all, there’s nothing much on you that is actually worth something.

Zhongli seems to know what you’re thinking, as he slowly opens his mouth. “My child.”

“Nothing changes the fact that you’re an adeptus, one of us, with or without your adeptal powers.”

“No matter the past, present or future you, will always be the one we love.” His gaze firm and solemn, trying hard to convey his feelings to you.

“You don’t have to be perfect, it’s okay to be incomplete.” Zhongli stands up and treads towards you.

He stops next to you, bending down a bit before enveloping you into a tight hug. You stiffen up.

“Because no matter what, you are you, and nothing will ever change that. And the fact that we love you will always be true.”

Hic. You let out ugly voices from your throat, breaking into a ugly sob and staggered breathing.

The warmth warping you increases, with Ganyu and Xiao joining.

Zhongli soothes you by brushing your back softly, Ganyu patting your head and lightly ruffles your hair. Xiao appears to be quite awkward at first, but decides to rest your head on his chest and warp his arms around your head as you sob.

It’s so warm, so warm that it feels unreal. Words of affirmation and love is such a stranger to you, the words and actions they display makes your chest hurts.

Your heart tugs at you, but you know it’s not because you’re sad, it’s because you feel relieved, happy, and thankful.

You are loved. Even if you don’t realise it.

Love is not determined by how much one spends time with each other, nor will it diminish with time or distance.

Forgive does not mean forgetting. The past cannot be reverted. The resentful decisions Zhongli has made in the past remain embedded in history and cannot be undone.

However, it does not mean that relationships cannot be rebuilt. A step at a time, as long as you’re willing to, as long as you are here and with them, things can start over.

[previous] [next]

for extra info/drabbles on this series: #adeptus reader asks please feel free to send some asks as well :)

taglist [request to be added/removed in taglist, or send an ask] @deathkat657 @porcosslvt @ryuukero @cruelstring @pandaquick @lill0w0 @yoomi-omi @pidgeison @sugary03 @creatorofstars @zaythetic @calfigaman @schleepyflocci @elephantasmosgocomics @yaesflorist @keiq0 @heijeuxx @yamatosworld @yuuuumiiin @sangchu @stupefried @wouldyoulikesomepollen @candyqueen10 @moonbintang @hiqhkey @hanniejji @photoglassuwu @normalisthenewnorm @just-some-stars @dearalatus @chinchillinbb @scoupshushushu @toshiswifey @sweetstrawberrybabe @lifenotgod @kztura @daphnyehh @alatusorrow @svftbunnie @nemuri-fictions @hydroyaksha\

Please tell me if I missed any one of you!! if someone changed their username and that’s why I couldn’t tag you, please by all means send in an ask/ comment on the original post to let me know!

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #zhongli x reader #ganyu #ganyu x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #genshin impact ganyu #genshin impact xiao #genshin #genshin x you #adeptus reader

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agentrouka-blog · 3 years ago

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ASOIAF fruit symbolism: Plums (Pycelle)

@istumpysk is bullying me* to get back to my plum meta of Foreshadowing Poetic Justice and my old draft is malfunctioning because it’s too large to handle the amount of purple truth.

(* bullying = mentioning it like twice in the span of a week)

I’ll have to break it up into individual character plums. There are absurdly many.

So instead of something insightful and organized and thorough, like what you may expect from our heralded @butterflies-dragons or @batterydeaddotdot or @fedonciadale or @cappymightwrite (YOU, when are you coming back? I want Byron!), I will make small disorganized posts like a toddler proudly waving around their dried pasta art project.

Just so nobody gets any ideas. If you want quality research, citations or handsome pictures, you go read their metas. Mine are for people with a small attention span and low standards. And a thirst for justice.

First up, the really easy one: Pycelle.

This is the one that really solidified my faith in the power of the plum. The power as a signifier of thematic endgame foreshadowing within a scene, that is. Or just for consequences or poetic justice for the characters involved.

If a plum shows up, it’s time to pay attention.

This plum-heavy scene with Pycelle also involves Tyrion, but we are ignoring that one for now. What we are looking for are hints for Pycelle’s narrative crime. and Pycelle’s narrative just desserts.

Tyrion goes to visit Pycelle to scheme, and soon they appear.

In the airy chambers beneath the rookery, his girl served them boiled eggs, stewed plums, and porridge, while Pycelle served the pontifications. “In these sad times, when so many hunger, I think it only fitting to keep my table spare.”

“Commendable,” Tyrion admitted, breaking a large brown egg that reminded him unduly of the Grand Maester’s bald spotted head.

(ACOK, Tyrion IV)

A head like an egg? Or an “Egg”?

This breakfast is the backdrop for Tyrion’s “test of loyalty”, where he plays merry-go-round with Myrcella’s potential betrothal. Pycelle’s test involves, not coincidentally, Dorne.

"Dispatch them now. Stewed plums will keep. The realm may not."

Stewed plums will keep, i.e. a delayed consequence. So Pycelle will be paying for a crime long ago.

Pycelle is uncomfortable keeping Tyrion’s plans from Cersei.

"Ah," the old man muttered into his plums. "Doubtless you have the right of it, my lord. It is most considerate of you to . . . spare her this . . . burden."

“That’s just the sort of fellow I am.” Tyrion returned to the unsatisfactory porridge. “Considerate. Cersei is my own sweet sister, after all.”

“And a woman, to be sure,” Grand Maester Pycelle said. “A most uncommon woman, and yet . . . it is no small thing, to tend to all the cares of the realm, despite the frailty of her sex . . .”

House Lannister is a House divided, so Pycelle literally can’t win! In spite of his sexist reassurances, Pycelle fails Tyrion’s test, which is revealed in the following chapter. Plum!

Let her flay half my face, it will be a small price to pay for her consent to the Dornish marriage. He would have that now, he could sense it.

And certain knowledge of an informer too . . . well, that was the plum in his pudding. (ACOK, Tyrion V)

And another chapter later, Tyrion goes to visit Pycelle with his mountain clan friends to confront his informing ways, punishing him for being loyal to his own House, and learning a very interesting fact.

Pycelle's breathing was rapid and shallow. "All I did, I did for House Lannister." A sheen of sweat covered the broad dome of the old man's brow, and wisps of white hair clung to his wrinkled skin. "Always . . . for years . . . your lord father, ask him, I was ever his true servant . . . 'twas I who bid Aerys open his gates . . ."

That took Tyrion by surprise. He had been no more than an ugly boy at Casterly Rock when the city fell. "So the Sack of King's Landing was your work as well?"

"For the realm! Once Rhaegar died, the war was done. Aerys was mad, Viserys too young, Prince Aegon a babe at the breast, but the realm needed a king . . . I prayed it should be your good father, but Robert was too strong, and Lord Stark moved too swiftly . . ."

(ACOK, Tyrion VI)

This is the revelation that the plum conversation and loyalty test were leading toward.

The realm needed a king. And baby Aegon was too young. We know he died at Tywin’s orders. Pycelle was loyal to Tywin. Pycelle could guess what would happen, and he worked to make it so. After all, he has certain realm-related philosophies:

Grand Maester Pycelle cleared his throat, a process that seemed to take some minutes. "My order serves the realm, not the ruler. Once I counseled King Aerys as loyally as I counsel King Robert now, so I bear this girl child of his no ill will. Yet I ask you this—should war come again, how many soldiers will die? How many towns will burn? How many children will be ripped from their mothers to perish on the end of a spear?" He stroked his luxuriant white beard, infinitely sad, infinitely weary. "Is it not wiser, even kinder, that Daenerys Targaryen should die now so that tens of thousands might live?"

"Kinder," Varys said. "Oh, well and truly spoken, Grand Maester. It is so true. Should the gods in their caprice grant Daenerys Targaryen a son, the realm must bleed." (AGOT, Eddard VIII)

So Pycelle (who is a lying liar about his loyalties) thinks a little murder of innocent children can be a just thing, if it means ensuring a greater good for the realm. This is what I would identify as the actual crime seeking consequences. Pycelle made himself an accessory to child murder. And he keeps justifying the concept. Pycelle’s fortunes wax and wane in the course of the series, but he’s doing alright again by the end of ADWD.

So if the plum indicates that the punishment should fit the crime, will the child murder participation be reflected in his ending?

In the above quote, we have an ironic agreement here from our friend Varys.

And this is our last glimpse of Pycelle:

Then he saw. Grand Maester Pycelle was seated at his table, his head pillowed on the great leather-bound tome before him. Sleeping, Kevan thought … until he blinked and saw the deep red gash in the old man’s spotted skull and the blood pooled beneath his head, staining the pages of his book. All around his candle were bits of bone and brain, islands in a lake of melted wax. (ADWD, Epilogue)

That egg-head has just been broken, hasn’t it? But why?

“Varys?”

The eunuch set the crossbow down. “Ser Kevan. Forgive me if you can. I bear you no ill will. This was not done from malice. It was for the realm. For the children.”

The same reason Varys gives for shooting Kevan likely applies to Pycelle.

There are many like you, good men in service to bad causes … but you were threatening to undo all the queen’s good work, to reconcile Highgarden and Casterly Rock, bind the Faith to your little king, unite the Seven Kingdoms under Tommen’s rule. (...) Doubt, division, and mistrust will eat the very ground beneath your boy king, whilst Aegon raises his banner above Storm’s End and the lords of the realm gather round him.”

“Aegon?” For a moment he did not understand. Then he remembered. A babe swaddled in a crimson cloak, the cloth stained with his blood and brains. “Dead. He’s dead.” (ADWD, Epilogue)

Pycelle’s sin is showing up again. When he counseled Aerys to open the gates out of loyalty to Tywin, he could guess what would happen to Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys. He rationalized it as serving the greater good of the realm. Or at least House Lannister, none of whom ever care to appreciate it.

But the stewed plums have kept, and his loyalty to House Lannister ultimately lead him here. Killed “for the good of the realm”, to pave the way for the return of that very Aegon. Not so differently to how Aegon was supposedly killed, head smashed in.

Even more ironically, the plums and egg were served by a girl who is a spy for Varys. That same girl served Ned his sweet milk in Pycelle’s office. That same girl opens the door to Kevan in the ADWD epilogue. She really ties it together.

#food symbolism #plums #poetic justice #narrative balance #maester pycelle #child murder #aegon vi targaryen

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

Text

UC Sunnyhell: Part six

Highway from Hell!

Previous Part // Next part

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: College AU. Set sort of more modern. Part six of eight. You go on a trip with your friends and find yourself realising just how you feel for Spike.

Warning: Alcohol consumption, swearing, sex reference

Original request by: @sunflower-stan

Other tags: @fictionalhoomanfromnowhere @harpersmariano @artsymaddie @shy-ginger-in-the-graveyard @cameo-greaves @llott1e

You and Spike were getting on so much better again. You were enjoying your friendship with him, you almost didn’t want to leave him. You knew you would really miss him.

You were packing for your trip. You and your friend group were going to the coast for a weekend trip with your friends. It also happened to coincide with spring break.

You were really excited, you had never done anything like this before and you were practically gushing. And packing way more than you needed for a long weekend. Spike was lying back on your bed, some of your discarded clothes surrounding him as you gushed about the trip.

He hadn’t been welcome to join your friends (which upset you a little) and he had insisted he wouldn’t be seen dead going on spring break. He maintained that it was expensive and stupid so he never went. He teased you about it, but you knew now that it was his way of showing his affection. A kind of endearment that only worked now you knew him.

You shrugged and continued packing. He eyed some of your swimwear and raised an eyebrow and you took it back from him with a warning look that he found sweet. He chuckled slightly, mock-surrendering. He wished he could see you with so little on. Wished you wanted him to. Wished to drink in your form.

You turned away and shook your head. He couldn’t help scanning his eyes along your body when you turned away though, imagining you wearing that. Wearing it because you knew he liked it. Wearing it because you enjoyed his eyes on you.

God, he had it so bad. He loved your mind. The way you smiled at him, the way it lit up your features. He wanted to kiss your lips. Hear your voice. That tone of yours, it comforted him to no end to hear it. He loved the way you smelled, that natural scent. Just sitting in your room even, becoming enveloped by it. By you.

“You gonna go wild then - on this trip?” He asked lazily, using his hand to gesture with his words.

“Wild? Do you think I’ve ever gone wild before Spike?” You couldn’t help scoff at his words. He frowned, he wasn’t so sure. You weren’t as innocent and boring as he thought upon his first impression. You would tease him, especially more so recently. You weren’t afraid of sex or intimacy. But he still continued his line of thought anyway.

“Spring break, ain’t it? Gets everyone all worked up right?” he said this, a hint of anxiety in his voice. He still didn’t enjoy the potential for people that weren’t him catching your eyes. Sharing your body. Bed.

In fact, it made him angry. Pulsating with jealousy. Throbbing with a fury he could barely keep at bay. Never at you, he wasn’t mad at you. Could never be. Not anymore.

He looked up at you, daring to see your reaction. In case he had shown his hand. In case you had caught the anxiety on his face. That he would lose your time. Your sweet mind. Words.

Couldn’t bare it if anything changed.

But you were still smiling. You always did when it was you and him. Rather than fuel his words, you instead tried to close your suitcase, but it wouldn’t shut properly.

He had been frowning slightly as you spoke about the trip. He was really going to miss having you around the house. Sharing your spare time together. Those nights in. He was fast becoming consumed by you and the thought of spending even this little time apart was starting to make him a little lacking. He liked to be by your side. In your company.

The amount of times he had chosen to stay in rather than leave the house was now becoming more apparent to you. You had noticed but never mentioned it. You just guessed he had been leaving so often before just so he didn’t have to spend time with you when you didn’t like each other.

He got up from his spot on the bed. Launching himself off the side as he usually would before he moved to you. Reaching for the case to help you close it. You smiled him and he almost leaned into you and expressed the raw emotions he had to push down when you were around.

Instead, he just looked down. At the case. You closed it together, pressing the case down and eventually managing to zip it up.

His hand brushed against yours and you shivered. Glancing at him sideways as he moved his hand away slightly too quickly. How he wished he could have kept his hands there. His skin against yours. That thought sounded so good to him.

You had figured it out. Finally. That you had feelings for him. That all that time you spent with him would never be enough. You had looked over from your side of the sofa one evening and caught him in a certain light. The glow from the tv managed to accentuate those beautiful features of his and suddenly you felt it. How deeply you cared for him. How easily you could see yourself in his arms, or better wrapped around each other in bed.

You had been thinking about these feelings, that moment you had realised, rather than focusing on what you had been doing. You were staring at him. Again.

You were snapped out of these thoughts though. He smiled, about to say something but you became distracted. His face dropped as he heard it too.

You heard a noise getting closer, loud music vibrating against the house from outside. Oz had pulled up in the van outside your shared house and you called your goodbye to Spike before running to join your friends.

You were squished into the window side of the van with Cordy and Xander making full use of the backseat despite you and Buffy sharing it with them. Willow was in the passenger seat sorting through Oz’s extensive cassettes trying to find something else to put on. They were good friends again despite their past.

It truly felt as if you were driving away from hell itself. You all felt lighter the further down the highway you went. The further towards your destination. It meant a break, it meant carefree fun with your friends. You were already having fun, giggling and joking together.

A classic rock song began to play. Loud and it instantly lit everyone’s faces up. Everyone began to sing along at the top of their lungs, including yourself. No matter how in tune any of you were, it was freeing to be able to scream along in this way. Even Cordy and Xander had come up for air. It was as if you were in a coming-of-age movie, the weekend was full of possibilities and you were ready to just relax and perhaps sift through the way you truly felt… if you had time between the parties Cordelia had told you that you were going to. She had planned out a way for you to hit all of the coolest parties with almost military precision.

You stopped off a few times, grabbing more snacks and trying to figure out the right direction. Xander challenged everyone to a game of how many snacks you could throw up and catch in your mouth which just made a mess of the back of Oz’s van. Buffy explained that Angel was already at a party and waiting for everyone to arrive. This then launched into a conversation about the battle plan you had all decided upon to finally get Buffy and Angel together.

You began to stare out of the van’s window after a while, no matter how happy you were your mind wasn’t far from him. Wondering what he might be doing. Who he might be with. God, sometimes it made you ache to think he’d rather have strangers in his bed than you.

You became lost in thought as you ate some of the last remaining snacks. You couldn’t help but think just how much you longed to be with him. How much you wished he would choose you over the rest of those vying for his attention. Your soul ached for him, you could feel it. You wished he had thought you were being serious when you invited him to come. But he had just scoffed at you in that way he does.

You had it bad. You even adored the way he scoffed at you. The way he teased. You loved the ugly parts of him just as much as the good. Wait… you loved him? Of course you loved him. It’s Spike.

This revelation, of how deeply you had fallen for him was spinning around your mind for the rest of the journey. A tornado, ripping everything you thought you knew apart. You wished he was here, beside you. You wished that he felt the same as you.

It was dusk by the time you got to the motel you were staying at. once you arrived you found out you had to wait for your room to be cleaned up before you could settle your stuff in. They let you leave your belongings behind reception for safety and you all went to hit the beach party that was already in full swing.

It was so alive, the party had a mind of it’s own. An entity of itself. Wild and unstoppable. You were marginally more comfortable here than at a frat party. You knew less people and you could just focus on having fun with your friends. However, you still felt as if there was something missing.

Something. Or perhaps, someone…

Just as your mind cast towards him, you thought you saw a glimpse of a familiar face.

Bleach blonde hair. Leather.

You moved through the sea of people looking for a better view. Spilling beer over people as you went in your haste. You so hoped your eyes hadn’t deceived you. But, when you got to the spot, there was nobody you recognised around. He couldn’t have moved that fast. You shrugged, walking back to your friends.

A smile on your face as you saw Buffy walk up to Angel and whisper something in his ear. She lead him away from the crowd and you laughed at Xander’s stupid comments about him.

You pulled your friends back over to dance. You began to really enjoy the evening, this band was playing just before Dingoes had managed to score their set.

You kept seeing flashes of his face no matter where you looked or how energetically you danced to try and shake the imprint of him that appeared to be stamped into your vision. As if you at stared at light too long and he would slowly fade at some point. Although, you so hoped he wouldn’t disappear from view. Even like this.

It made you miss him though. More than you even thought possible. You saw things you wish you could tell him about. In your head, you heard his voice commenting something snide that would make you laugh. He was in everything. He was everywhere you turned.

And it just made the fact he wasn’t really there with you more apparent. Not to mention, you didn’t think he could possibly feel as deeply as you did. Everything was bubbling to the surface, all these feelings you hadn’t acknowledged were all descending on you now.

He always made you feel more comfortable. More at ease. He made you want to share yourself in a way you never had before. It made you feel things you had only ever dreamed about. Written feverishly about without truly getting it until this very moment.

You wondered if Spike had ever felt this way. Love.

You looked up from the red cup you were drinking from and directly into his eyes. Everything was still happening around you, the party was still raging on. But it felt as if time had stopped, only briefly but you were sure of it. And unbeknownst to you, he felt it too. It was only the two of you.

You stepped towards him, this time you had no doubts. It truly was him. The face you thought you had been imagining. Because you couldn’t stop thinking about him so much. Spike. He was there. He was really there.

“Spike!” You exclaimed, the smile on your face widening which he couldn’t help but match at your reception, “What are you doing here?!”

You grinned about to launch yourself at him in a hug that he would have adored. But you hesitated and held yourself back, worrying he may figure out how you felt. You felt self conscious of your movements now you acknowledged your feelings. But even such innocent contact would have made him dizzy. God, he was a fool for love. For you.

“Thought I’d drop in. Prove myself right” He shrugged, swigging from a bottle of beer.

“Well… it’s really great you’re here! Why don’t you come and join us?” You smiled, your cheeks aching from how wide it was. You gestured towards your friends and his face dropped slightly.

“Not on your bloody life” he looked over to where Angel and Buffy were dancing together and to where some of your other friends were drinking and laughing. That wasn’t his life. He didn’t fit in with any of them. They didn’t trust him. Didn’t like him. Because he didn’t have the same interests as them. Same morals.

They thought they were so much better than him, which is why it always confused him so much how easily you got on with them. To him, you were more similar to him. A soul that spoke to his own. You belonged with him. By his side. Not theirs.

“Well, then... just one dance? Please? Nobody will know, everyone’s probably drunk already” You whispered, your hand reaching for his.

Your confidence had decidedly sprung from nowhere but if you hadn’t taken this chance, you would have regretted it. His eyes widened in panic as he watched your hand reach for him. But he didn’t move. His hand was hard, stuck in place as you took it. It almost made you let go again, until he relaxed slightly. You were so sweet to him - he just couldn’t resist you.

Couldn’t resist the idea that you wanted to dance with him. Only him. He had been watching you from afar, you hadn’t asked anyone else to dance with you. Just him. This filled him with a kind of pride, that you liked him in this way. That perhaps there was hope.

You took the hand that you had kept in his and pulled him into the crowd, away from your friends so you could have a sense of privacy amongst the writhing bodies of strangers.

You began to get a little bolder, pressing your body a bit closer which made him smirk. He opened his mouth, as if to say something. He closed his eyes slowly at the proximity, he swallowed thickly. He felt lucky to even be in your presence in this moment.

You pulled away a little, still dancing. Your hand never far from his. You wanted to weave your fingers between his but decided that gesture would be more intimate than you wished to reveal. The alcohol and the way he softened around you had made you a little braver, but not by all that much.

He whispered something jokingly in your ear that left you laughing, his face turned up into a smile. The widest you had ever seen from him. Especially in public. God, he wanted so badly so lean in and kiss you but he was concerned how you would react. Couldn’t lose you. Or this. It was starting to mean too much and it scared him.

Being this close and not being able to do anything about it was almost painful. He wanted you in every way. He ached for you, longed for you in every sense imaginable. He dipped and moved against you again, his own hands becoming bolder as he held you against him.

You were about to muster up the courage to say something to him. Hint at how much this meant. How this moment made you so happy you felt as if you could happily die by his side. Your last moments would have been the greatest. Because you had all of his attention. His touch. Even the whisper of more, if you ignored the doubts that usually plagued you.

However, you were quickly pulled apart from each other. You were about to shout at the offending party, never mind spike, but when you looked your eyes bulged. It was Cordelia. Seeking to protect you from Spike.

She took a deep breath as if she were about to launch into some kind of argument, but instead she stared him down, said “ew” in his face and then pulled you away. Spike opened his mouth to say something back but you got swallowed by the crowd. You had slipped through his fingers again.

You wished you had leaned in when you had the chance. You just didn’t know how he would react. You believed that he was so painfully honest and so real to himself that if he had an interest he would say something.

You wanted to kiss him. To let him in, completely. Which was dangerous. You knew about everything the others said. About everything he himself had said. But you couldn’t help it. Nobody knew him like you did, you were so sure of it. You were fast beginning to fall for him and you weren’t able to do anything to stop it.

You felt like an idiot. Of course he was too cool for you. He was the kind that broke hearts and smoked and kept a string of one-night stands. You were better off as friends… right?

You kept looking for him through the rest of the night but managed to just miss him each time. He saw you but didn’t guess for a second that you could be looking for him. Buffy had probably lost an earring and told you all to look for it, he presumed. She did seem to be bossy in that way, to him anyway.

You began to drink less, instead scouting the crowd between trying to keep up with your friends. You barely cracked a smile when you saw that Angel and Buffy were finally talking after dragging their feet for as long as possible. Eventually, knowing how invested you had been in getting them together, Willow noticed and pulled you aside. She worried when you had that look on your face. Sometimes you appeared lost - just staring into space. She didn’t realise you were usually trying to understand your feelings. Well, not until you blurted it out to her anyway.

“Will, I like Spike” You shouted into her ear, over the thumping of the music. It was so freeing to say it out loud and you continued, “I think I really like him!” You shouted louder and she almost stepped back at the force of your feelings. As if she could physically feel the shocking words. They slapped her in the face and she stayed silent for a moment. She was concerned.

“You should be careful, he looks at you as if he wants to eat you or something” Willow furrowed her brow. You held back the suggestive look you could have given her that could only have transferred to you since you had been spending so much time with the man himself.

She was staring beside you, to a spot on the periphery of the beach. She snapped her eyes away but not before you turned to look. There he was shrugging someone off him. You couldn’t tell if they were coming onto him or trying to start a fight with him and really it could have been either. His eyes instead boring into yours. Transfixed on you. You snapped away, feeling your cheeks heating up and you couldn’t blame it on the alcohol anymore.

You looked back to Willow who didn’t seem to want to let you go over there. It was as if she could read your mind, it was almost spooky. You had spotted him, much to your friend’s apparent distaste. You slowly walked over to him, leaving Willow watching you in concern.

“I found you again” You said quietly. You were sure he probably couldn’t hear you over the music but he had. And he had savoured every last syllable. The way you looked this evening, it knocked him breathless. The way you appeared under the moonlight. Your attention all his even if it was just for this brief moment.

“Just looking for one of those abandoned beach houses”

“Why?”

“Man’s gotta sleep some time.” he shrugged.

Spike didn’t have anywhere to crash. At the furrow in your brow, he mentioned something vague about finding a sofa or something instead as if he knew anybody in town. He hadn’t actually expected you to offer him somewhere to stay. Figured you had probably had enough of him seeing as you lived together all of the time.

But of course you offered for him to come back to your motel. You would have room, you were pretty sure that they gave you two single beds like the one you saw in Buffy and Willow’s room.

You were the only one with a motel room to yourself. Buffy and Willow were sharing – Tara hadn’t been able to come on the trip but insisted that Willow still should. Willow had been on her phone checking in with Tara the entire time. Oz was sleeping in his van and insisted he was fine there when you asked if he needed somewhere to stay. Cordy and Xander were sharing because it was more comfortable than the back of a car and Angel was staying with one of his frat buddies.

He lit up at your offer. Eyes dropping to the floor before looking back to your face. Head tilting slightly, scanning your face and finding only sincerity. Concern. How much you cared. He was really pleased you would offer. Want him to have somewhere to stay despite him dropping by unannounced and completely out of character.

You both decided to leave after a while, it wasn’t really Spike’s scene anyway and you were happy to spend more time with him. You walked back the way you kind of remembered and grabbed your stuff, ignoring the disapproving look you got from the woman behind the counter for bringing someone back with you. Spike muttered a few choice words about her that made you feel less embarrassed and he took your bag off you and carried it to the room.

You were both laughing as you stepped inside. It only subsided a little when you saw it. Spike’s face went white. Your laugh turned a little nervous. You would have never guessed it could be this. It was something that you had only ever heard about. Something you couldn’t have even fathomed would have happened to you.

There… there was only one bed.

You looked at each other for a moment. Both of you would have jumped at the chance of sharing in an ideal world. Where feelings didn’t choke you on every other word and the idea of having even such innocent intimacy made you dizzy.

“I-I can take the floor” You offered quickly. Which was the opposite of what you wanted to say. You wanted to slip into bed beside him. Press your body against his.

“Now, don’t start with that rot – I’ll take the floor. Slept on worse believe me” He insisted, already snatching up a pillow and arranging a thin sheet on the floor. It looked anything but comfortable but he wouldn’t hear your insistence.

You both got ready for bed in silence. You had only a little more to do than Spike, who’s nightly routine consisted of taking his t-shirt off and slinging it to the other side of the room. He would usually sleep naked but learned that would be inappropriate based on how your eyes had bulged upon your first meeting.

You didn’t really speak as easily as you had earlier, everything felt a little stilted. Awkward at even the whisper of the idea that you could have been sharing a bed. With you, that idea was a sacred one and so he didn’t lay on his usual charm to get himself to slide in beside you. He was uncharacteristically bashful about the arrangement but didn’t let it show.

You both instead opted to go straight to bed, turning the lights out and hoping that sleep would be quick. But, of course, that would never happen.

It had been a few hours now and you were both yet to fall asleep. Both of your courage had been growing as the night wore on. You felt bad being in the bed. You were moving around a lot, unable to relax in one position. You could also hear him shifting uncomfortably every so often. His back wasn’t taking to the floor.

“Spike… are you awake?” You asked through the darkness.

“No”

“Spike…”

“Can’t hear myself think with all that tossin’ and bloody turning you’ve been doing” He muttered. His voice was gruff but you could tell he was letting you off lightly.

“I was thinking… it’s not right you being on the floor-”

“Told you, I’ve had worse-”

“I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, share… the bed I mean” You said this so slowly. Barely above a whisper. You were scared he was going to tease you. Say the last thing he would ever want to do was be near you.

However, he was so surprised at your offer he forgot to make a suggestive comment. You weren’t offering anything, he knew that. But his heart began to soar.

He lifted himself up to look at you, squinting through the darkness - ensuring you were being sincere. This was all he had ever wanted recently. To be in bed beside you. To be that close, for you to want him there.

It filled him full of hope. Hope that he tried desperately to push down. He was used to disappointment. He so wished to wrap his arms around you and have you wish to embrace him in return. He didn’t want his face to betray him, show you just how much this meant to him. Not yet at least.

He was satisfied you meant it and slowly, as if moving too fast would make you change your mind, took his pillow and walked towards the bed. You hitched over to one side, bringing your pillow. Giving him space to settle. You couldn’t help but smile a little as he slid beside you. Although he kept a lot further away from you than you found yourself hoping he would.

There was a clear boundary line. One you were both nervous to cross. You both stayed on your respective sides of the bed as you lay awake dreaming for more. He wanted to reach for you, to whisper things that only this time of night emboldened him to. But he didn’t.

He stayed awake purposely now. He cursed himself for being such a lovesick fool but he wanted to savour every moment of laying here beside you. He heard you begin to breath deeper. Slipping into a contented sleep.

Knowing he was beside you, you felt almost protected. Safer. It allowed you to sleep peacefully, maybe deeper than you had in a while. You couldn’t describe it - you had never consciously noticed you had slept all that badly. But with how noticeably easier it was to have a restful sleep, it was now clear. It was as if you were… at peace.

As the morning sun began to wake and stretch its golden rays, you woke up. It was a pleasant feeling. A soft one. Especially when you shifted slightly and realised that you were being cradled by strong arms. You smiled, half asleep nestling further into their grip. The smell, it was familiar. It made you feel safe. Content. You moved back slightly. Pressing yourself flush to the body lying against you.

Your bodies had found each other in the night. Subconsciously moved towards each other. As if your sleepy states could share something that you hadn’t been able to when awake.

As you began to wake up properly, you tensed. Realising who had their arms around you. This sudden movement jolted you awake. You pulled you in tighter on instinct before completely pulling away and almost rolling from the bed in his shock at how you had spent the night.

He had sprung from you and so you mirrored his action. Your faces in shock. You were both, for once, speechless. Unsure what this meant. If the other was silent because they were horrified or possibly… pleased that this had happened?

God, you could only hope. Neither of you knew what to do or say. You just stared at the other from across the bed. The bed you had shared such soft intimacy.

You instead grabbed your stuff and went into the adjoining bathroom to get ready for the day. When you were finished, he had left. Your heart sunk. You didn’t know what to think.

You were scared he would go back to how he had been when you first met. Not wanting to even know you. Or tease you because of how you had shifted against him. Because he hated that he shared vulnerability with you. So he would distance himself again. You really couldn’t bear it if he did any of that. You wanted him close again. Your skin felt cold without his touch.

Since that evening neither of you could stop thinking about the other. More so than you ever had been. You were both consumed. Wholly.

Your mind was distracted, although you were having fun with your friends. You went to the beach a lot and plenty of parties but your mind couldn’t help moving to him every so often. The thought of sharing a bed with him. Having him by your side. It made you giddy.

You wanted him against you. His skin pressed against yours. His lips grazing yours. Hushed tones promising affection. Promising the world. You craved it. Craved him.

Both of you thought of the other. Longed for more through your respective days. Wished against everything that you could return to the other’s arms. But for Spike to let you in any further, he had to be sure. He so wanted to let you in but he didn’t want to get burned in the way that he was used to.

You crossed paths but managed to miss each other. Whether it was intentional or not on the other’s part you weren’t sure. But you sorely missed the other. It had only been a day or two and yet the space that the other held in your heart and mind was growing by the second.

He finally returned to the motel the night before you were set to return back to Sunnydale. You were worried he wouldn’t come back. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw him enter. He looked a little awkwardly around to begin with. You couldn’t look each other in the eyes straight away. You hadn’t spoken since you had been that close. It ached even now, to have him stood there and not be able to reach for him less he breaks your heart.

Spike had done some depraved things with a random swathe of the general public. He had tried it all but had never been rendered this speechless to face someone after spending the night in their bed. All you had done was cuddle up together and he could feel himself almost blushing at the idea of facing you.

You smiled slightly when you saw it was him. He had even knocked before he entered. You held yourself back from launching yourself at him and pulling him under your bedclothes. You instead spoke to fill the space. You asked if he wanted to travel back in Oz’s van with you and your friends but he muttered something about sticking something large and wooden through his chest instead.

You had been reading when he walked in, so instead he changed the subject. Not wanting you to hear his nasty comments – rather he wanted you to think of him and remember good things. He began to discuss the you the book with you. He had read it himself and was now managing to find his voice at last. You spoke animatedly and he smiled softly. Admired the way you had such enthusiasm.

He was watching your lips as you spoke. Even in the dim light of the room, to him you looked ethereal. As if you were glowing. He almost succumbed to his thoughts and spilled this aloud but something stopped him. An insecurity he had repressed perhaps.

Eventually you put your book away and began to move as if to turn off the lights. He took a pillow from the bed and began to move to a spot on the floor. You frowned and you spoke before you had a chance to stop yourself.

“Are you not taking the bed tonight?” You asked lightly, turning over to face away from him as you said it. Your heart was beating dangerously out of your chest. You didn’t realise but his would be too. Completely in time with yours.

You had hitched over to the same side as last time when you rolled over. Leaving him space to slide in beside you. You weren’t sure if he would take you up on your offer. Waiting was agony. He hadn’t replied and the silence was deafening. You started to become embarrassed at your offer. At the way he hadn’t replied.

Until you felt it. The bed dipped in beside you. He had slid into bed again. He lay facing you but left a notable space between you. You hadn’t realised but you had been holding your breath until he settled beside you. This meant so much.

After a moment, you turned to face him cautiously, gauging his expression. It was guarded but his arms began to move, snaking around you and when you smiled his actions became less tentative. It was a small smile that you shared but it meant so much. You pressed yourself closer, cradling him against you further.

It wasn’t an accident that night. It was confirmed to you. You cuddled on purpose. Shared something precious. Warmth and intimacy and hushed whispers filled your hearts. Neither of you wanted to succumb to sleep in case this wasn’t real in the morning.

You eventually fell asleep in the early hours, as the threat of light had began to intrude through the window. Wrapped around each other. It was the purest bliss. You never wanted to leave this moment. You just wanted to stay, arms draped around the other. As if you could take on the world. Protect each other. As if it was only the two of you that mattered in that moment.

You jumped awake, however, still tangled against him. You had overslept. You were late for the trip back. You were going to take the long way and stop off somewhere Cordy knew that was apparently insta-worthy. You rushed about to pack up and decided to leave him the key for when he woke up with a little note.

You turned to look at him, still sleeping before you left. But his eyes were open. That look in his eye, one you wouldn’t forget. He appeared almost forlorn that you were going to leave him that way. But you smiled, it was a warm smile. One that told him you didn’t regret a thing. That you had been right there with him.

He held onto that smile, the corners of his own mouth tugging slightly. He nodded his head and you turned and left. Hurrying to the others before they left without you.

You were doing dangerous things to him. Giving him hope. Hope that you could be more than friends…

#uc sunnyhell #spike x reader #spike imagine #spike x you #btvs #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs imagine #btvs x reader #btvs x you #spike fic #gn reader #gender neutral

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dialovers-translations · 3 years ago

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.2: Mukami Kou [Track 7+8]

Original title: 堕落した証 & いらいらする

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 2: Mukami Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: Oh boy oh boy. I should have kept my mouth shut during the last few tracks because these two tracks had me wriggle around in my seat as my stomach turned upside down. > < Those of you who have been around since last year might recall how I struggled with Shuu’s D-S Kyuuketsu CD because of the ‘bodily gore’ noises when he cuts the MC with a knife and then stirs his fingers around in the open wounds. KOU DOES THE EXACT SAME THING GDI. I had to pause several times because I got nauseous. :’’) Please no more of this Rejet.

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 7: Proof of Corruption

“Well then, where should I bite you next...~? Both your neck and arm are already dyed a bright crimson from your blood. Fufu~ While I’m at it, I guess I should make you even more red...Perhaps that’ll improve your looks a little.”

*Rustle*

[00:25] “Hmー Such slender wrists...Fufu, I could probably twist them with ease. If I were to plunge my fangs in, they might just pierce right through, don’t you think? Come on, show me your hand.”

*Rustle*

“Hm...These marks are still fresh. Hmー They weren’t left behind by me, which means they belong to one of those guys? Heeeh...Now what a lovely decoration you have here. You really are a maso-kitty, aren’t you? I sort of get now that you’re not doing all of this on purpose. Which means...is someone controlling you behind the scenes?”

*Rustle rustle*

[01:18] “Take flowers, for example. They don’t particularly wish to bloom beautifully, do they? However, some larger force in nature is ordering them to do so to lure in birds and insects. So perhaps you were put together by someone with the specific goal to seduce us Vampires? If not, a plain girl such as yourself couldn’t even dream of having someone like me suck you, not even out of pity. Fufufu...~”

*Rustle rustle*

He digs his finger inside your skin.

[01:59] “Ah-aaah...Since the wound hadn’t fully healed yet, my finger sank in the moment I pressed down. Does it hurt? Fufu~ I’m digging my nail into the open wound after all~ I bet it hurts...Then suffer more...Scream...! Nobody will hear you here. This place has been equipped to ensure that they won’t find you.”

*Rustle*

“But...Well...If they did know you were here, I wonder if they would come and get you? These guys who seem to be oh-so obsessed with you, I mean~”

Kou continues to stir up the wound with his nails.

“Are you writhing in pain? Ah-aaah...Your ugly face only became even more hideous. Should I say it has a certain charm to it? I’m incapable of loving you while you look like that though. However...”

*Rustle*

[02:57] “In regards to these wounds, I feel a strange sense of attachment. I wonder why? Perhaps it’s just fun to compete with other Vampires over a prey such as yourself? Hahaha...But in that case, I have to leave behind my own marks as well or it’s no fun, right? ...I’ll leave my mark on top of these wounds, as if to overwrite them. It’ll be perfect proof of how thoroughly corrupted you’ve become.”

*Rustle*

Kou bites you.

*Gulp*

“Mmh...*

*Gulp gulp*

“ーーHah!”

*Gulp*

[03:50] “Mmh...Haah...I can smell them from here...It pisses me off...Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah, haah...It makes me want to just rip up your whole arm with my fangs...”

*Gulp*

“Fufu...This must be the taste of hatred...~ Exactly...I can’t forgive them...Never! That’s whyーー”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah...Haah...”

*Rustle*

[04:38] “I won’t return you to them. You’re basically mine now. Offer both your body and soul to me...And go mad. Fufu...Damn~ What’s wrong with me? Am I being spurred on by you? Uwaah...This is a first for me. Fufu~ I truly got my hands on a nifty toy. I was just going to have a little taste before handing you over to Ruki...but I might not want to let you go again.”

*Rustle*

[05:22] “Haah...Let me suck more...Your blood is messing with my head...as I find myself wishing you would offer more of that delicious blood pumping through your veins to me and me only.”

*Rustle*

“Oi. I bet you have other marks left behind by them as well, don’t you? Tell me. I’ll make you go through those painful memories again. Come on, hurry up and fess up.”

*Rustle*

[06:00] “Hey? Are you listening? If you space out like that, I’ll do something much, much more painful and rough?”

You muster a response.

“Hm? Your belly? Eeeh~? Now where could they be...~?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Ah, you must be talking about these. Marks spotted~ They really don’t hold back when devouring you, do they?”

He licks the marks.

“Oh, this one smells different. So, tell me. Did you have them bite you from head to toe? Hah! What a slut you are.”

You protest.

[06:46] “Hm? You didn’t wish for any of this to happen? ...Che. Why are you giving me that defiant look? Do I have to repeat myself a million times before your idiotic brain gets it? I was reminded once more the moment I sucked your blood. You’ve been tampered with in some way to lure in Vampires. I wonder who could be behind it...~? Fufu...Somehow that piques my interest...”

*Rustle*

“But for now, I’ll cover you with my marks. So I’ll thrust my fangs inside these wounds as well...”

Kou digs his nails into your skin once more as you flinch.

[07:31] “Aren’t you happy? I’m the one saying these things after all. ..Aaah-aah, such filthy marks. I’ll erase them right away.”

He bites you again.

“Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah...Haah...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...This stench is persistent...It won’t disappear...Ugh, it pisses me off. If I can’t get rid of it with my fangs...It just makes me want to mess you up as a whole...”

*Rustle*

“Haah...Guess I’ll just have to sink them in deeper and deeper...Like thisーー!”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...Nnh...”

You cry out.

[08:41] “Ah...It hurts? Look at you gushing blood all over the place. You really have no shame, do you? But you shouldn’t be able to feel the pain, you know? My fangs have already made it so you perceive everything as pleasure. Fufufu...”

*Rustle*

“I can tell you want me, so try and voice it out loud? Beg for me with a cute tone. Come on, hurry...Ask me to make you feel ever better~”

You whimper.

[09:24] “Hmm~~? I can’t hear you...~ You’re going to have to speak a little louder. Also, don’t forget to sound cute, okay?”

You repeat it.

“Fufu...~ Exactly, like that. Just be honest with yourself...Perhaps then I’ll be able to feel a little affection for someone as ugly as yourself.”

You beg again.

“Mm~ Good. You managed to beg for it cutely, so I’ll love on you in return. ...With these fangs of mine, that is.”

Kou bites you again.

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Hahn...Mmh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[10:14] “...Hah...! ...Hm? ...’More’? ...You can crave it more. I kind of like it when people yearn for me. ...I’ll plunge them inside even deeper than before...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah, haah...Ugh...Haah...I guess the smell is starting to fade a little?”

You moan.

“Fufu...Seems like you’re feeling rather good as well. Your body has completely given in to the pleasure, it feels as if your blood has become sweeter as well.”

Track 8: Irritation

Kou inspects your body.

*Rustle*

“Where else have they bitten you...? ー Ah, don’t tell me. I’ll try finding it myself this time...~ After the stomach, it has to be...The legs, right~?”

*Rustle*

[00:18] “Yes, I got it right! ...They sure love going for the risqué spots, don’t they? Hah! Right near your crotch (1) ...How lewd. On top of that, you can tell they’ve sucked from here repeatedly...Very dirty! I wonder what kind of expression you made as they sucked from here? Perhaps you didn’t realize it yourself, but they pretty much got a full view of aaaall your embarrassing places.”

You squeak.

“How embarrassing, gosh! ...But I’m sure you love that sorta stuff, don’t you? After all, I can see a glint of anticipation in your eyes. Or am I just imagining things? Is it because I’m the one doing this to you? ...Well, I guess I’ll figure out the answer to my own question once I bite you. Well then...”

*Rustle*

“Where should I leave my mark? ...Right here. I’ve settled on this spot.”

He bites you again.

*Gulp*

[01:28] “Mmh...Hah...Haha! What a lovely view...Fufu...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Seems like it’s making you weak as well...Look at you twist and turn your body like that...What a dirty girl you are.”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“ ーーHah! We’re still nowhere near done...Let me suck more and more...Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...Hah...”

*Gulp*

[02:11] “Haah...Fuck...Could this be a trap of some sorts...? Fufu...I feel as if your blood is leading me straight to my own demise...Well, I guess that’s fine. As long as it feels good...whether it’s a trap or whatever, I’m not scared. Perhaps the person who set you up this way predicted this all along? ...Say.”

*Rustle*

[02:44] “I bet they knew that we would try and snatch you away like that. Guess we’re being mocked, huh? That pisses me off. ...You seem to be feigning ignorance but you’re part of the whole scheme, aren’t you? ...If you think this will all pass as long as you just obediently spread your legs, you’re gravely mistaken. I’ll give you something much, much, much more painful, you’d find yourself wishing you’d be dead instead...!”

*Thud*

Your eyes widen in horror.

“Hehe...”

*Gulp gulp*

[03:26] “...Heh. Does it feel good? Lucky you! I think you might be the first human who has gotten the honor to receive this much pleasure from me. Well, under normal circumstances, one bite is plenty to make any human ascend to Heaven, but in your case, the more I have, the more delicious your blood becomes and on top of that...You dare oppose me. It pisses me off. ...Mmh...”

*Gulp*

“...Hm? There’s marks on your thighs as well!”

*Rustle rustle*

[04:06] “I have to engrave my own mark here as well. ...Geez, I wonder what they find so appealing about these stick legs? I can’t relate, but I don’t like the idea of there being marks from someone other than me. ...Mmh..”

*Gulp*

“Nnh...”

*Gulp gulp*

[04:37] “...Hah...Ah...Haah...~ I feel sluggish for some reason...Have I been numbed? In that case, your blood is to blame. ...This is bad...Fufufu~ I just don’t understand how I want to keep an ugly girl such as yourself all to myself...Makes no sense, does it? I feel irritated by it myself but...I also just can’t help it. This strong desire for you keeps on welling up inside of me...What is happening to me? Geez...Honestly, it pisses me off! I’ve never felt this strongly attached to anything or anyone before!?”

*Rustle*

“Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“...ー Hah!”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Mmh...Haah, haah...I can’t get enough...Do you want me more? ...So do I.”

*Gulp gulp*

[05:57] “Hah...Yearn for me more and more...You just need to keep your eyes on me. ...You belong to me now. Happy? Of course you are. If you continue to writhe around like that, I’ll give you never-ending pleasure.”

*Rustle*

“Mmh...Haahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Mmh...Nnh...”

*Gulp*

“Haah, haah...!”

*Gulp*

[06:37] “Haah...! I can’t...I still haven’t had enough...Hm. I still refuse to give you up. I’ll make you forget about those other guys in no time. I’m obsessing over you, so it only makes sense. ...Unlike those guys, I won’t call you prey either. You’re mine after all. ...Doesn’t that make you happy? I’m a gentleman after all~ I know how to make a girl happy. I’m sure you didn’t like being degraded by having them call you ‘prey’ either, right? Fufu...~”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 足の付け根 or ‘ashi no tsukene’ is the root/base of the leg where it connects to the hips.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kou mukami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers more blood #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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sevi007 · 3 years ago

Note

Baltheir must've seen Fran go ballistic like that once, knows that Mist can have a pretty strong effect on Veira, so this is probably isn't much of a surprise for him now. But consider, first time he saw her like that, wide eyed and feral, he's trying to calm her down cause she looks like she's scared or in pain, hugging her close until she calms down not caring about the wounds she's causing. When she comes to Fran tries to apologize but Baltheir wouldn't have any of it. 1/2

once he's done dressing his wounds, and hers, they have a long conversation about how Mist can effect a Veira so they can be better prepared next time. And Fran apologizes once more for that "ugly display" and Baltheir scoffs, "Fran, dear, you're a lot of things, but ugly? Never." She stares at him in shock for a moment before she smiles. and then, "if anything, you were even more beautiful, now that I have a chance to look back on it, you're very pretty when you're mad" she pinches him. 2/2

@rex101111 is absolutely my greatest enabler, and nobody should be surprised anymore when I take one of the prompts he gives me and just write an entire One-Shot out of it. Like I did here. In a rush.

(It is not quite what you had in mind, Rex, but I really had only so much influence over where this story went. I think the FFXII characters just possessed me halfway through and wrote this themselves. I hope you still like it as much as I liked writing it!)

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ XII ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fran knows it was a mistake, following Balthier’s lead. It does not matter what treasures awaited them, or how sure of their success he was; the moment he had told her their next trip would take them to the fallen city of Nabudis, she should have turned heel and walked out on him.

And yet, here she is; breathing in mist rather than air, feeling it claw at her throat and her mind, while she follows the hume man through this laid-bare bones of what was once a glorious city. Because it is Balthier who asked, and Balthier who lead the way. And Fran always, always followed his lead, ever since they had met each other. This, she knows, is a weakness.

She should have known better, than to let herself be weak. The forest taught her that. Life taught her that. Weakness means death.

The thought thrums through her, clear like a bell. It is the last clear thought she has before the burning of the mist ignites inside her, explodes in an inferno, and her head feels like it is being split in two. She thinks she screams, but she cannot be sure; the next thing she knows she is on her knees, doubling over onto all fours, and she is burning alive as the mist rages through her, her world tinging red.

With blurry eyes she watches her fingers curl together and her nails elongate, and tries to choke out a warning, but it never comes. Her head tips back and she catches a glimpse of Balthier, whirling around towards her with his eyes wide, before she opens her mouth and screams.

It is every nightmare she ever had, combined. She has feared such a moment for several reasons, and only one of them being what will he think of me, seeing me so unhinged?

The other, much more potent fear, was for his fragile hume life.

She is Viera; hers is the strength of nature, of the very forest which gave birth to her. With the mist clouding her mind, there is nothing to reign in that strength. She is a storm, an earthquake, a beast let loose. Her nails are claws slashing, her limbs like whips clashing, and her power enough to shatter stone and steel, so, so easily crush bones into dust.

And Balthier, the brave fool, takes one look at her twisted features, at her trembling body ready to pounce and rip him to shreds, and does exactly what she feared he would do: He runs towards her instead of away from her.

Fran wants to scream at him stop, you foolish boy, stop, but all which comes forth is another heart stopping howl and then Balthier is already crushing into her at full speed.

Instinct moves her; her body bucks and rears and tries to throw him off while she snarls and hisses at him. His arms come around her and he holds on with all his might. To her, it might as well be paper stripes trying to hold her back.

Not that he is trying to hold her down. It is from far away that the tiny part of Fran which is still her, which can still think, notices this. He is not holding onto her arms, trying to contain her. He simply cradles her protectively wit no care for his own wellbeing. As if her claws are not at present tearing into his shoulders, cutting through cloth and skin alike. And he is talking; a low, gentle murmur which should have gotten lost in her own thunderous roars but somehow rings louder still in her ears.

“… this why you did not want to come here? Forgive me, Fran. I should have listened to you.”

Perhaps it is the proximity to him. Perhaps the surprise of him being the one apologizing filters through. Whatever it is, her mind clears, if only a little, even while her body is still wildly out of her control. The rush of blood in her ears takes second place to the horrible sound of cloth tearing, skin ripping, and her own monstrous roars.

And over it all, Balthier’s voice, right there. “I will listen better from now on, I promise on the Strahl I will. You won’t have to endure this ever again.”

The hand which finds her cheek, thumb stroking infinitely gentle and too close to her sharp teeth, is a glaring contrast to her own vicious movements. Even in her rage, her body stiffens in surprise at the perplexing kindness of the gesture.

“You have every right to be angry with me, Fran. But right now, I need you to come back, you hear me?” The arms around her tighten as if trying to hold her together. “I know you are still in there, Fran. I know you can come back. Come back, please.”

Please.

It is that little word, the tremor of it, which stills her completely then. Fran is still breathing heavily, nostrils flaring, a mutinous growl rumbling in her chest. Yet she is no longer lashing out against the hume in her arms, her claws lying uselessly against his torn shoulders.

There is two equally strong urges fighting inside her - to destroy, and to protect.

Hurts. Pain. Lash out, her body burning under the mist thrums. The warm body pressed against hers is a nuisance. A danger, in her state. An enemy. Rip. Tear. Crush.

No. No. This is not an enemy. Fran clings to the blurry thought, as viciously as her inner beast, refuses to let it go again. This is no stranger. This is not any hume. This is the boy turned man who had taken one look at her and decided to reach out and give her a place to stay. This is her friend and partner who always has her back, no questions asked. This is Balthier.

Her Balthier. Who would hold onto the beast she had become to comfort it rather than cut it down in self-defense.

He has seen me, and he has not ran from me.

I will nothurt him.

She howls once more, but this time there is another sound wrenched in between; a sob. A mixture of fear and relief. It is like a rain drop onto a wildfire, but it is a start. It repeats itself, again and again. Her hands loosen, relax into something more natural once more. She drops in Balthier’s arms, slumps over like a puppet with its strings cut loose. She does not even notice when the world tilts around her and her back meets the ground.

The last thing she sees is Balthier’s face above her, pale and horribly young, mouth moving silently; or can she simply not hear him? His eyes look red, she thinks and moves to reach out and do something about it – but her body feels far, far away. Her arm simply will not do as she wants.

She cannot even worry about it before darkness takes over her senses and she knows nothing anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ XII ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am quite sure a potion would have done the trick just as well-…”

“Be quiet, Balthier.”

He tries, for her sake. Even from behind, Fran can see him try valiantly to bite back the words, jaw working, before he does finish just like she expected, “You should save your energy.”

They have been going back and forth on this for a while now, so Fran decides it is best to let it be and simply do her work. In the silence, she focuses on drawing the tiniest bit of mist from the air and spin it into the most potent Cure she is capable of at present.

Fran understands his worries, she does. After all, she had needed to be carried back all the way to the Strahl after her breakdown and even then it had taken several hours before she had come back to consciousness once more. She knows he caresand that that is why they had nearly started wrestling with each other when she had tried to get up at first, and once more when she had started to tear at his shirt to try and assess the damage shehad done to him while he protested and tried to wave it off as nothing.

Fran knows all that. But as is usual with them, Balthieralso understand that she needs to do this without needing to hear it, and so he lets her, despite his grumbled protests and all his eye-rolls. It is for her peace of mind that she spins the magic and pours it into his body. Each bit of skin which knots back together and smooths out is a tiny piece of her own heart healed, a weight lifted of her shoulders as she watches her sins be wiped away slowly.

Once she is done, her hand hover uselessly over Balthier’s back for a moment, torn between reaching out and touching the skin there. As if to make sure it really is healed and hides no further injuries.

Injuries I caused.

“All done?” Balthier’s voice startles her. Humming in answer, she watches when he pushes to his feet and stretches his arms over his head with a relieved sigh. “Ah yes, so much better. Remind me to ask you for white magick lessons again. We save a fortune on potions that way.”

“I will.” Her gaze follows him while he moves about, checking the range of his motions, shooting her a distracted smile as he does. She means it; it will do him good to know healing magic himself, should she not be around… or lose herself once more.

“Thank you. Now. How does it look?”

At the prompt, Fran instinctively finds her gaze rack one more time over his bare skin, counting blemishes which are not there anymore. A few shadows remain; places where a Curaga would have done more than a mere Cure. But those were mere bruises, and a lot less than pains Balthier was more than used to.

Still the knowledge of the source of these shades sits as a knot in her belly, and she clenches her traitorous fists tightly.

A throat being cleared snaps her out of it. When her gaze meets Balthier’s, his eyes are dancing with laughter. “My dear, you are welcome to look all you want of course, but I was talking about my shirt.”

Despite herself, Fran feels her eyes crinkle with her own smile. Somehow he had always had the ability to make her smile once more, no matter what. With only a little derisive snort at his peacocking – he never grew out of that one, did he – she holds up the stripes held together by mere thread, lets the remains of the shirt dangle from her fingers. “Beyond all rescue.”

Balthier pulls a disgruntled face as if, somehow, this is the worst thing that has happened to him all day, and sighs deeply and dramatically. “A shame. That was my best one.”

The knot in her belly tightens once more, but before it can get too much, Balthier already keeps talking with a flourish of his hand. “Well. Once we’re both well-rested again, it seems to be time for another shopping trip. What would you say if you charter the course after getting a good night’s sleep? I will follow your lead.”

Fran blinks, and feels her ears swivel forward, as if she has somehow misheard him. “… me?”

“Why, yes,” Balthier is already up to his shoulders in the closet he has pilfered as his wardrobe and his voice is muffled, but she can hear his amusement clear as day anyway. “Who else should I ask? Bless his heart, but I would not trust Nono to steer us right. He understands the Strahlwell enough, but reading a map, well…”

“Why not pick a course yourself?” Fran interrupts him without thinking, still baffled. This is unpreceded; it has always been Balthier who led, and she who followed. A role-reversal feels much more significant than Balthier is trying to make this seem. After all… “Are you not the leading man in your story?”

“Our story, Fran. Ours.”

Balthier is busy pulling on a new shirt – of much lesser quality than its predecessor– over his head once he resurfaces and thus Fran has an unobserved moment to school her features and make sense of this grand declaration, handed to her so casually.

She barely manages to get a grip before Balthier smooths down the cloth and runs both hands through his unruly hair to tame it. He is still not looking at her when he continues, voice suspiciously light and casual.

“I had time to think.” While you were unconscioushe does not say but it rings loudly between them. “I might be a master thief and an even better pilot, that much is true, but I do not seem to have a knack for picking the our next destination. So I will leave that honor to you, and no one else.”

He turns, then, and whatever astonishment she has not gotten under control must show plain as day, for his smile spreads easily over his entire face, chasing away first hints of apprehension there. He has the gal to wink, this man, eyes bright. “Every good sky pirate needs a good navigator, after all.”

Something settles in Fran’s chest then, and suddenly, she understands. Understands that this is not only him apologizing again, but also a sign of trust. A reassurance that whatever happened today has not shaken his faith in her.

Fran is not prone to great outbursts of emotions. No Viera is. And yet. Once the real meaning of this gift Balthier is handing her with a boyish smile truly sinks in, she finds herself looking down at the torn shirt in her hands, blinking rapidly and struggling to keep her breath even.

The decision is a laughably easy one. Once she feels more in control again, she does not hesitate to push the shreds of cloth aside as far as possible and looks up at her friend. “No need to charter a course. Let us head for Nalbina next.”

Surprise flickers in Balthier’s features before he is already smirking again, head tilting. “To restock, I assume?”

Fran smirks right back, gestures at him; at the shirt with the too short cuffs and yellowing from age. “To get you something proper to wear.”

His crooked smile blooms into real delight and he throws his head back in a startled, happy full belly laugh, just like she had hoped he would. The sound fills the room and unravels the knot inside her completely, and she finds herself smiling at him much less smug, much gentler than she had wanted to.

“Why, Fran, don’t tell me you don’t like what you see!”

“Not particularly. Once you look into a mirror you will agree with me.”

“Ouch. You do know how to pick your words,” Balthier presses a hand to his chest, his eyes still laughing even while he has quieted down to mere chuckles. “But fine, as the lady wishes. Nalbina it is. Now?”

“Nothing is holding us here,” Fran points out. Knows that he will hear what really means. Let us not stay here any longer.

Sure enough, his expression turns serious ever so briefly before he smooths over it once more and dips low in a bow, hand outstretched. “Shall we, then?”

“We shall.”

Reaching out for him is easy. It always is. This time, Fran takes a tiny moment longer to admire her long-fingered hand in his shorter one. Hers is so very different from his. So very dangerous. Now, he knows that all too well.

And still, he does not hesitate to take it, hold it gently, and draw her to her feet so they are eye to eye once more.

He really is a marvel, this Balthier.

She is smiling with her entire face when she teases, “Choosing our course… Will that not make me the leading woman, then?”

“Please, Fran.” There is too much fond warmth there to make it sound like a reprimand, and they both know it.

She laughs, and says nothing about it anymore. It is simply not necessary. They both know that between them, there is no leader, and no follower.

There is only them, together, moving in tandem wherever they went.

And Fran would not want it any other way.

#balthier #fran #ffxii #fanfic #my writing #final fantasy xii #ff12

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

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I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation.

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most.

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything.

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really.

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning.

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family.

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom.

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

#answered #anonymous #tadaai #tadashi kikuchi #shindo ainosuke #adam x tadashi #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #anime #this is what i think about these two at least

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stray-kids-react · 4 years ago

Text

Becoming jealous because of your insecurities

Warnings - Good and bad endings, Swearing.

Masterlist

....

Bang Chan

° Bang Chan has been having relationship rumors with this popular idol, you were already insecure about yourself but this only made your self esteem worse.

° You've been sobbing non-stop in your room as Chan was on tour, he never reassured you about the rumors or said that weren't true.

° You thought you feelings and sadness were all caused by you insecurities, and you shouldn't ignore Chan just because your jealous. That is until Seungmin called you.

"Hey y/n... I don't know how to tell you this but I can't let this go unheard. Chan cheated on you... And I'm so sorry." The message read over the phone, you practically screamed as you sobbed. Feeling so stupid for ignoring your gut feeling.

° You weren't going to be hurt by another guy again, so you called Chan to tell him that you were through. After the phone call, not one member of Stray Kids heard from or saw you ever again.

Lee Know

° You were a soft person, people constantly targeted you with hate for that reason. Especially crazy fans who made you rethink if you were good enough for Minho.

° But recently a group of sasaengs have been harassing you to the extreme, one even breaking into you home to try and kill you.

° You loved Minho very much, but the crazy fans were becoming too much for you to handle. Especially when you are all alone while he's on tour.

"Hey Minho, I love you so much and that will never stop... But these fans are becoming so hard to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it..." You sighed, hanging up the phone before you cried.

° Later that night, Minho got a message from his manager while he was flying home to convince you to stay with him. The message explained that you were killed by a fan when you finally confronted them.

Changbin

° You were going on a cute date with Changbin, the date was going well until he started chatting with the waitress. Making you inner demons suffocate you.

° Without thinking, you walked out of the café. Surprising Changbin, since you were rarely ever mad at him for something.

° He chased after you nonetheless, calling your name over and over even though you never turned around once to look at him. You were jealous, and too stubborn to fess up.

"Baby! What did I do? I apologize if I hurt you, but can you tell me what I did so I can fix it." He huffed, catching his breath after the long sprint to get to you. You explained rather harshly, that you didn't like his chat with the waitress.

° The chat was innocent and meant nothing to him at all, but he wasn't going to start and argument with you. Instead he apologized and continued to try and make it up to you, hoping it may calm some of your jealousy.

Hyunjin

° Hyunjin knew how easily jealous you got since you were best friends before you started dating, he just never knew why you got so upset over something so little.

° Hyunjin was having a particularly bad argument with you, over his make up artist allegedly "flirting" with him.

° He asked you why you always get so jealous over small things and make his life so much more difficult. Watching as your anger turned into soft and delicate sadness.

"It's because I hate myself Hyunjin, when I look in a mirror all I see is a fucking ugly monster that doesn't deserve you." you explained, sliding down the bedroom wall as you sobbed into you hands.

° Hyunjin soon felt his heart break into millions of pieces, he loved you with all of his heart. He decided to forget about the argument and just focus on comforting you, the person who means to world to him.

Han

° You and Jisung were driving home after very awful dinner, which included him dancing with someone other than you on the dance floor, who was also very into him.

° Jisung was a free spirit who didn't like to argue, while you were very serious and got jealous VERY easily due to insecurities.

° For the past moth you both have been arguing non-stop, wondering why you two are still even together anymore. Both of you are honestly just done with each other.

"I don't want to fight anymore, I'm tired and exhausted. But I think we need to see other people." You sighed, looking out the window with know sign of regret in your voice. You didn't feel anything for him anymore.

° He nodded in agreement, knowing it was coming sooner or later after you cheated on him with Felix and after he cheated on you with you bed friend. You just weren't meant to be, and you were okay with that.

Felix

° Felix got quite jealous himself, he never admitted it you. But that's part of the reason he understands when you get frustrated from your own jealousy.

° He knew about you past with bullies, and never like arguing with you in case he ever said something he didn't mean.

° But in the morning he knew he must've fucked up somehow, since you weren't answering his texts like you always do. So he stopped by you apartment to check in.

"Hey love, I totally understand if you having a down day. But can you please tell me if it has anything to do with me?" he asked, carefully claiming the spot next to you on the couch as you clenched the fabric of your shirt.

° You weren't mad at him, but instead hated yourself for putting him through some hard times due to your one insecurities. So you just clung onto him, telling him how much you love and appreciate him.

Seungmin

° You and Seungmin started off great, but you both noticed the interest and love slowly dissolve over the time. Soon finding one another quite annoying and irritating.

° Seungmin was ready to end it after you ended up becoming jealous more frequently, realizing the relationship won't work out.

° He called you over the phone while he was on tour, explaining that it is over and he doesn't want to be with you anymore. You though you deserved more than a phone call.

"Hey Min Min, you'll find you stuff that was left at my place in the dumpster out back, where it belongs." You replied, as the maintenance man changed the lock on your door.

° Many found you actions immature, but they weren't part of the relationship or heard the words that came out of his mouth. You deep down knew that you needed this revenge, and felt relief when you did it.

Jeongin

° Jeongin knew how insecure you were when beginning the relationship, constantly trying to cheer you up and make you gain some level of confidence in yourself.

° So when a stylist of his began flirting with him purposely when you were around, he knew he was in deep shit.

° Even though it wasn't his fault, he still felt guilty for not taking action fast enough. You were clearly jealous and upset by the stylist's remarks, and he wished he could take it away.

"I'm sorry y/n, if it helps I was just as surprised as you were. They have never done that before." He explained, rubbing shapes into your back. Slowly calming you down.

° You snuggled into his grasp, wrapping you arms across his torso as you drowned yourself in his warmth. You weren't mad at him, but more at yourself for being so stubborn and bitter over some nobody.

#stray kids #changbin #kpop #hyunjin #jeongin #lee know #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #bang chan #han jisung #skz felix #skz seungmin #skz angst

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slasher-drabbles-n-stuff · 4 years ago

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I can request a scenario of innocent love... Where the Slachers (Michael, Jason, Brahms and another killer of their choice) are children and know the reader who are also children, the reader has a thing for them and they flirt their way, or give them a gift (know when one child likes the other, their first love).

How would they react? Would they understand the love that the reader has and will accept, or would he be a brat with them, or would they be shy about the situation and the figure of the reader?

(This made me really happy.)

Thomas:

He really didn’t understand you.

All the other kids in your class were so mean to him. They’d call him names, mock him and all kinds of stuff. But you..you were different. You didn’t think he was a monster like the rest of them did.

When you first came up to him, he frowned- fully expecting you to call him names or something of the sort. Instead you just gave him a sweet smile and handed him a flower you picked, asking him if he wanted to play with you.

You weren’t scared? You didn’t think he was ugly?

Eventually the two of you become the best of friends. Seeing as you were the only kid that could even stand to look at him and such.

What really won him over was when you pushed some bully away from him, making the kid land straight on their butt and cry. He felt really bad that you ended up getting in trouble over it but...he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love you all the more for it.

His mama is practically overjoyed when he comes home with a friend, fixing up snacks and the whole nine. Let’s just face it, she’s probably at a loss. You’re the first and likely the only friend that Tommy has ever brought home.

Things go pretty well, up until the two of you get a little older and you admit that you have a crush on him. To which he’ll just tilt his head, a look of pure shock gracing his scarred features. He knew you liked him, but...you “like-like” him?

You’d just giggle, leaning in to press an innocent kiss to his cheek- causing likely the most adorable blush you’ve ever seen to consume his face.

After that, Tommy starts waking around with a little bit more of a pep in his step. Someone so wonderful like you likes him, surely he couldn’t be a monster after all.

Michael:

Michael was always the strange one of the class. For some reason he wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t ever seem excited, nor would he play...

At least not with anybody. He’d never seek anyone out- he’d just play off in some corner of the room with his toys silently. Nobody wanted to bother him, frankly they were too scared.

Not you.

He made you curious, and soon your curiosity would lead you to walking up to him- tapping his shoulder and offering your own toys for you both to play with.

He’d be genuinely confused at first, almost pouting- but he didn’t send you away, so that was something. Whenever you just smiled and sat down next to him, his expression would soften.

At first Michael wouldn’t really understand how to play with others, he’d be way too forceful and a little bratty when it came to getting his way- but that didn’t seem to deter you.

He could respect that.

Soon enough, Michael just came to accept your persistence. He’d find it somewhat nice to have company for a change, even if he didn’t think that way in the beginning. It certainly was fun having someone else to play with.

Michael, of course, can be a little possessive over you. You’re his friend, no one else’s. He will get mad if you play with someone else and he’ll make sure that everyone knows it.

One fateful day during recess, all the other kids proper that you all play “wedding”. Naturally, having a crush on the odd boy- you told him that you wanted him to be your “husband”. His eyes will probably become the widest you’ve ever seen them, but he’ll reluctantly nod, letting you grab him by the hand and lead him up to “marry” you in front of your other classmates.

All the other kids thought you were crazy. He wasn’t nice to anyone, why would you pick him? Regardless of your reason, they still thought you were nuts.

Eventually the day came that Michael stopped coming to school, something terrible happened and that’s all you knew...but you weren’t too sad. Somehow, someway, you knew you’d see your friend again. No matter how long it took.

Jason:

You were an absolute Angel in both his eyes and his mother’s.

Unlike all the other children that would pick on him or be disgusted by his face, you’d just treat him like a normal person. No pity, no disgust..you just genuinely wanted to hang out with him.

Going to camp was always a little bit easier for Jason so long as you were there.

He wants to do everything with you, not a single camp activity can be missed out on. He used to not like any of them, seeing as it was usually just an opportunity to be made fun of- but now that you were here...he started to realize why they were so much fun!

It isn’t very long until he actually develops a little crush on you. He wouldn’t dare admit it though..he doesn’t want to scare you off. However that won’t stop him from making you little bracelets and bringing you flowers.

He was starting to believe that your friendship was just that, at least..until he gave you a necklace and you, without hesitance, kissed him on his forehead as a “thank you”.

Any of your fellow children that happened to see yelled “eww” and began to tease you for liking him..but you didn’t care. Heck, you even yelled back at them- telling them all that they shouldn’t be so cruel and that he was perfectly sweet!

After that event, Pamela would make the both of you some grilled cheese sandwiches, a pleased smile on her face.

It felt good to know at least someone could see the sweet person her little boy was.

Brahms:

In order for you to have been friends with Brahms, your families likely would’ve at least known each other- thus making the two of you pretty darn familiar with each other.

That being said, he loves you! Like seriously, you’re one of his most favourite people.

He can be a little bossy when it comes down to playing and stuff, but you never seemed to mind him. Instead you’d just smile and agree with him.

He didn’t really understand that you were only so tolerate because you had a huge crush on him...not at least until you tell him so.

Once you do, you better understand what youre getting into.

He’s bossy, jealous and possessive. Plus, he has a major crush on you too.

Don’t let him know that you play with literally anyone else. He’ll throw a tantrum over it.

Even though the two of you were way to young to understand it, he’ll start referring to you as his “girlfriend/boyfriend”- sometimes being more open to playing “mummies and daddies” with you, but only if you really really want to. Otherwise it’s hide and seek all the damn time.

Aside from that, your relationship isn’t all that different.

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

Text

♡ Levi Dating A Tall Girl

warnings ⚠️ some innuendo, possessiveness, jealousy, skinship

↳ NOTE. short captain ftw

You don’t fall backwards the first time he hands you a big ass gun to practice target shooting. Finally someone who doesn’t act like a wobbly fool. Long legs. Better shooting stances. No questions asked. Levi likes that.

You can get the emergency supply tea box from the top shelf. He is jealous, this is cheesy, but still. Levi likes that.

You are hard to overlook. For pragmatic reasons since he lives in sheer chaos and needs to collect his squad from the most unholy places, Levi likes that.

But also... he has to confess he finds it fascinating to see you walk and talk. So, Levi likes that.

You can clean the ceiling. For obvious reasons: Levi likes that.

Paintjobs are easy to you. Levi likes that.

You can carry more weapons on you. Knife here, knife there, knives everywhere. Levi likes that.

Without even knowing or trying, you have a natural bold appearance. People don’t start trouble. The squad is peaceful and diligent in your presence. Him, too. He doesn’t say it, but he admits to himself that he feels protected. Levi likes that. A lot.

It might be outdated in the Survey Corps, but Levi enjoys calling you Madam. You really look like one in your Sunday outfit, just so you know. The height difference makes anyone buy into it. So, you go by „Ma’am“ wherever you go, knowing who addressed you that way first because he respects you. Levi likes that.

The advanced Trojan horse: You can smuggle him almost anywhere when you wear a dress. Levi is kinda going crazy with your legs being so up close though. My, my. What an interesting undercover mission. Levi likes that. You, too. Wink wink nudge nudge.

When cooking, you fool around planting your underboob on Levi’s head while the oven does its thing. He’s cursing a bunch of things. But he can’t deny you’re funny and he really fits in that spot, too. Levi likes that.

Your height means more to scrub in the shower. Levi does not shy away from grabbing a sponge for the ladies as we know. Only select people he will foam up personally, so, this is a knighting. If you can shave him, he can shampoo you, it’s tit for tat. A very cleanly exchange. Levi likes that.

In the comfort of your room, not in his, nor his office or elsewhere, really when nobody is watching — Levi sits on your lap. Plenty of space, so. He fits snugly right there. Levi likes that.

You look great when you ride a horse and handle horses well in general. You can get on there in two seconds without delay. Speed is key. Levi likes that.

And I mean.

What’s not to like, anyway? Levi’s captain crush on you equals your height in terms of intensity.

Technically, you, like all other people, qualify as a brat. A tall, noodly brat. But you’re nice to him and vice versa: Don’t deliberately nor accidentally get on his nerves. So the most he’ll do is grumble at you where others would get a speech. If you make a mistake with the equipment, he won’t let it slide for obvious survival-related reasons, but his tone is noticeably gentler, a crucial tinge.

The whole squad — especially the rowdy members who tease him the most ironically — spirals into envy, but doesn’t say anything lest they want Levi’s frown and explanation on how they were messing around while you worked. The guy’s proud of it and wants to deservedly hype your ethic to be honest.

So let us just note that special fondness he has and let it sink in.

Under the guise of “establishing order”, Levi has an excuse to make his schtick for you heard: Indirectly.

Levi scolds anyone calling you bigfoot or titan girl. His supposed reason: They didn’t clean well. In reality, he’s mad they pick on you but he can’t say it.

The captain is concerned that people don’t ruin your day and he’ll do something about it. That’s pretty damn astounding. Levi hardly bothers getting into other people’s mood management and personal things.

Armin thinks it’s adorable when Levi casually walks between you and Hanji, likely headed somewhere to buy conveniences because Sasha is dying to get food. Connie calls it the ‘Levi Sammich’ and laughs his ass off every. Single. Time.

Mad titan scientist she is, Hanji’s latest experiment involves a two-person battle maneuver where you have to carry Levi piggyback. He initially declines, but it looks adorable indeed, actually. You don’t really have to put efforts into holding him in place awkwardly, his legs are strong. So much about two-person maneuvers, the two of you fight well as a duo, your bodies complement each other. Best believe the same feat applies to what happens between four bedposts.

In more casual settings, he dons his usual scowl when he stands next to you, but he thinks it's sexy that you look at his shoulders from above. You can see the weight on them.

He wishes he had your shoulders. But then again, he wouldn’t want to change bodies at the end of the day, as surprising as it sounds. Levi knows he needs to be a compact little unit to do what he does.

A lot of people taunt you as a couple, but after some time of always reacting with anger right away, he becomes cooler about his self-worth. Levi realizes — man, he knows who he is.

Should you ever faint, he can catch you with ease. Levi Ackerman is the last guy to get crushed by his gf, that we all know. He’s not afraid of your body or your weight. No cowardice, no shame, no questions asked.

And as we know. He got a thing with your legs, don’t even try. Legs legs legs leggy legs, that’s all there is on Levi’s brain when you don’t wear a uniform but skirts during leisure time. He tries to block out that thought, unsuccessfully.

Titans he can go without, but you are his irreplaceable sexy goddess you know. Levi admires you.

Whenever you hit your hip or limbs at an awkwardly set-up table, Levi will position it elsewhere immediately. Low door frames he can’t do anything against, but he will tug at your sleeve twice every time you enter a room while walking behind you so you remember to stay alert. It’s... really cute how he’s tugging at you from below. I need a moment.

In the mornings, an even cuter thing happens: When his legs are too short to reach the ground while he’s sitting on an improvised barber chair of yours. You’re cutting his neck hair while he’s pouty about his tininess. You do your best to organize a smaller chair with Armin’s help later on.

But your height difference also causes some upheaval at the start or the relationship and brings up some deeper wounds.

You can easily help tie Eren’s man bun way up there and that makes Levi extra jealous. In fact, he feels like imploding to the point of creating a black hole. Even Mikasa is fine with it because it’s all on a friendly basis with no thought behind it. Like it’s just helping Eren get his hair under control for squad practice. But Levi sees red:

Out of sheer Ackerspite, he will grow out the top part of his undercut and ask you to tie up his hair, too. This guy is on fire. Like hello, he wants your hands in his hair like that as well!

He orders Mikasa to take care of Eren’s “brat mop on his head” every morning “for the sake of the cleanly survey corps dress code” without exception. Eren is totally confused, Mikasa likes the idea, and you are shocked.

Damn, this guy doesn’t play.

He wants you to stroke and tie only his sacred hair if he’s entirely honest with himself. Best time of the day for him. Levi ends up looking like your smol samurai bodyguard with his new hairstyle. You could fancy that in the long run.

And... you know he is insecure. You always know. And, if you’re honest yourself, are glad to have permission to give him such deliberate affection because he values it so much.

Levi hardly builds any romantic bonds and if he does, he easily feels left out because the truth is, he’s needier than the average person. It’s difficult if there are only few people close enough for that, since Levi needs a lot.

Eren is no viable competition, but you decide you gotta make that clear to the touch-starved little guy. Since... In reality, the man bun discussion is not about Levi being petty just because. It’s about wanting to have that connection with you. And: Your attention. Levi doesn’t look like it, but he needs it. A metric ton.

In fact, Levi is the biggest love-deprived attention whore on the entire island and that’s a hard fact.

So, what to do about it. First: Clean slate needed, because you’re a bit annoyed, too.

You sit down for dinner and talk to Levi about how you are not interested in stealing Eren from Mikasa, nor do you think Levi looks ugly or invisible compared to Eren because of the height. You want to be a helpful squad member and he has no business imposing his brat hair rules to make himself exclusive out of fear, as if you would jump Eren as soon as he doesn’t look. And that he should say when he’s envious or wants something, point-blank. You’re very willing to give him all the attention to the moon and back alright.

Levi, grumpy at himself, apologizes for wanting to control the situation instead of saying that he wishes for time with you and makes tea.

He’s feeling mighty called out but owns up to all of this having been a knee-jerk response. Guy’s hard on himself, but that’s how he adapts his behavior.

The whole truth is, he knows that Eren is a lot easier to be around while he, Levi, is a complicated guy that is arguably hard to approach in random matters, even for loved ones.

He beats himself up for that and wants to be more emotionally and physically accessible to you so you can shower your affections on him the way you want to. That’s what it really boils down to.

That means fishing for old parts of his youth he didn’t allow. Levi wants to challenge himself to be more open to receiving. He knows he keeps his appeal on lock and it’s time to change that because he sees that you enjoy such closeness. Just the way he does, but secretly.

He also says to you that you can always touch him the way you desire after work.

Levi sees how you like being hands-on and how you do it, and makes it firm that you don’t have to walk on eggshells, hold back, or ask like it’s a delicate matter.

Levi sees relationships in simple terms: Since you’re together, of course you can touch him. It’s part of the whole thing by default to him and he even assumed you took it for granted like there’s telepathy going on.

In fact, brace yourself: For the lack of a better word, it’s even his expectation that this happens. Not like an obligation but as in, that you take opportunities is a given to him, he anticipates it.

You reply that it’s good he communicates this, it’s got to be outspoken. His views on how this whole thing goes has to be out in the open. It gives you a lot more clarity on his boundaries, too.

Before another bout of jealousy unearths more taken-for-granted things, Levi realizes he has to make up his mind that he has to talk about his limits.

So, he also says he entrusts it to you to find the very right moments for skinship.

That entails kissing and pinning and sitting close to another. And sex. Which is pretty damn enjoyable with him, the real fucking deal. So steamy. My God.

And he makes it clear he does his paperwork fast and you can always ask, he’s never too busy to postpone things entirely. He’d rather die the next day after winding in the sheets than handling paper. Levi can’t sleep anyways so it gets his mind off. It’s always welcome and he tells you not to be hesitant.

Levi is the type to absolutely pick up the cues right away — and proceed to really make out against a wall really intensely — so you’re under no obligation to wave a giant red cloth in front of him like he’s a Spanish bull or whatever. He gets the hints and goes along. Not to worry.

You also ask Levi what he thinks about you initiating romantic things and he shrugs — „Do what you want.“

The brand of romance Levi is out for you can already guess anyways. Tea and more tea.

For now, that’s where you agree to “leave it at that” after he thanks you for being straightforward.

You launch your first affections before bedtime. He lets you sleep in his bed, damn right. You really have to be a priority to be able to reside there, I’m telling you. Levi rests with one eye open and in his harness, you have all the blanket for yourself to cuddle up in. That won’t stop you from peppering his face with a few very deliberately placed smooches.

Levi can’t deny he’s a sucker for getting forehead kisses. He drops his hygiene protocol just for that. Safe to say his man bun jealousy from earlier that day cools off in no time. Not to say it shatters completely when you go for the gold that is his pretty little mouth. He’s so overwhelmed emotionally, he almost cries. Levi never thought someone would do this with him.

You repeat the same thing next day, behind the barracks after sunset. Levi holds you real tight. He’s so addictive in the best way. Going by how breathless it all winds up to be, he doesn’t want the kisses to end.

What your height is handy for here? He can gaze up to the night sky when he locks lips with you. Levi, as we know, likes seeing the moon and training his neck flexibility anyways. But that’s not the purpose behind why he’s so down to kiss you so passionately, rest assured.

If he tiptoes a little, he can park his pretty face under your chin after you both ran out of air. Levi’s drug... your long neck. He thinks it smells so good.

He murmurs in response, but he actually wants to be gently cooed at and petted when he rests there. Just a little. He’s humming. Ah, so satisfying. Guess you aced the „Do what you want“ part. You’ll do this with him Lord knows for how many times.

Levi cuddles up at your chest later. Plenty of space for him, and he loves how your voice resounds from there.

Oh— by the way. Since Hanji installed one between the two apple trees outside: It’s always nice to sleep in a hammock with a tall girl. The fabric doesn’t fold him in, he can watch the stars with you off duty. You give him a reason to be content, and that’s the sweetest thing. Levi’s all in love, he’s really grateful. You go, Ma’am.

— more levi writings: sub!levi hc | levi’s happy end/tea shop hc

#levi hc #levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #snk hc #snk imagine #levi headcanon #levi imagine #levi scenario #snk #aot #attack on titan #levi fluff #levi smut #shingeki no kyojin

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hoefette · 4 years ago

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All the petty things I hate about fate!winx and their shitty universe/world building because

I'd added most if these in tags of other posts but I'm still so mad lmao

The way characters, Aisha and Mrs Dowling specifically make references to explicitly human or American things like instagram and Harry Potter

These people are from a different dimension for ffs why are they concerned with or are even aware of this very earth-specific shit? Do they teach earth classes at school over there?

I understand not wanting to have them be oblivious so Bloom wouldn't have to explain it to them, but it simply could be ✨omitted✨

Why would you go out of your way to date your work like this lmao ew

Ms. Dowling calling Tinkerbell an air fairy.. I cannot breeve with the stupidity why did they keep that in there

Why is Ms. Dowling.. the headmistress.. teaching classes? Where are the other teachers?

We ended up with a trio of antagonists (I guess you could call them that?) by the end of the season anyway so why not give us the trix, why have the characters play double roles as friends of our protagonists and also the villains/bullies? They clearly wanted a delinquent trio, in which case they could've gender bent the trix if they wanted to keep all the unnecessary sexual tension.

It just feels like the production team was lazy, they didn't want to hire more actors, they didn't want to bother with making the world immersive or lived in or believable at best, they just didn't give enough of a fuck

They wanted to make this show and attatch Winx to it for.. what? Like did you even google the main plot points? The abridged version or sparknotes to get details on the very literal, basic characteristics of our main characters or their roles or the world they inhabit????

It lacks wonder and intrigue.. I mean Bloom moves to another dimension, a school for fairies and we don't see her marvel once at anything.. and that's because she might as well have been in Switzerland because she's in exactly the same environment she would've been in over there anyway.

They could've said Alfea was in Europe and I'd believe it because nothing about the setting makes it feel otherworldly. I'm sorry but I'm not impressed.

Why do the teachers and graduated specialists communicate via facetime ?? In the magic dimension. ??? Why do they text each other and those texts then appear on screen like .. oh look, like a bad netflix teen movie ????? HELLO ??? it's the way technology and magic could've blended in so seamless into the world THE WAY IT WAS ALREADY DONE/SHOWN. Missed opportunity. it just takes you out of it imo every time you see the ugly, bland, gray text bar. Some fucking flavour pls I'm begging

How stupid the specialist must feel clonking around with the skinniest shreds of armor, plastic swords on their backs and battery powered flashlights and cellphones in their bags. R we larping?? I know I'd be laughing and asking why we hadn't already come up with something more effective .. idk like guns. I'm surprised I ain't see one gun in there.

In the beginning Ms. Dowling says some nonsense about fairies having lost the ability to transform to explain why there are no wings, which means they could've transformed before. So are we to assume that this supposed to be set in the time proceeding the original then?? Because something is not adding up with where they should be as a magical society technologically if that's the case

How does the production team want to keep the dark academia vibes with torches lining the walls and also want them to be face timing each other, presumably from miles and miles away in the dark forest???

Pls pick an aesthetic and stick to it everything was so unnecessarily dark. Where do they charge their phones since it's the only device we see that is the slightest bit modern and dont fucking tell me they charge it with magic I will punch you in the face

Why is there only one major monarchy that we are shown? Why are Solaria the only ones contributing to the efforts to defend the school and where is this mysterious battalion we never see lmaoo it's all so bad its laughable.

Is this set in the kingdom of Solaria? And why does the queen of an alleged interdimensional superpower monarchy pull up in black SUVs??????????? Why does she pull up with Andreas?? Is he not the king of Erakleon?? Where are his soldiers and his battalion and just?? Huh!? The world just feels empty like nobody lives here fr

Are we supposed to believe that the specialists get paired up with fairies just as a normal occurence and that they have to 'trust each other' and not because the plot demands it suddenly half way through when all we've seen so far are the fairies doing normalish school and homework, and the specialists outside, being physical everyday all day. This was never even implied that they'd have to work together apart from when we see the faculty as youngins with Rosalind. But even then.. it's like well why are they even together lmao? Is this a special team formed from Rosalind’s protégées? Were they formed after graduating from Alfea or what is this?? Are they the ONLY team of specialist/fairies hunting every single burned one?? What?

Are we now supposed to buy that Musa is being switched to 'support' because that's where her strengths lie and not in combat?? Are we supposed to believe that these girls know hand to hand combat?? When was this established? We see Terra wrapping some baby vines around a dude and I'm sorry is that the practical application of her power? Is this what the fairies are supposed to do once they graduate? Or is it just a switch in curriculum because of the threats outside the barrier?? This is never made clear.

Because if not then what's the point of this?? Why do they suddenly have endless classes together when the expectation was never set for the fairies to be like soldiers or out in the field fighting ?

Where exactly are they supposed to be what was the purpose of including Aster Dell and why is it a joy ride away from Alfea lmao?? Where Bloom is from and also not from?? Plot pls make it make sense

Why are fairies from another dimension vaping or smoking weed?? They are not human so why are they engaging in specifically human vices, yol couldn't come up with anything else to characterize 'delinquents'?? Very lazy very como se dices.. no effort. Nothing a little more spicy yol could invent, at least change the name and some properties holy shit did yol even try ??

So its fairies everywhere, having a lil party in the east wing of a phat castle.. and they are playing beer pong and dressed in t shirts and jeans..

Can you hear me screaming? Can you hear me vibrating with rage?

Not one floating decoration or magical anything in sight. Just purple lights and subpar vibes

Stella's costume design: tragic. I won't discuss further because we don't have the space or time but just know that it was absolutely atrocious and I hated it. Giving very debutante vibes

The entire budget going to that lame transformation sequence that was not a transformation sequence and those horrible, barely-there fire wings

Edgelord bloom and all her fucking leather jackets. Why do 30 yo, white cis men think girls exist in a binary? They could keep her earlier characterization and make her a hothead.. Bloom literally screamed herself into a couple power upgrades in the original come ooonnnn

Let girls be feminine without it being a character flaw what is wrong with yol its 2021. They could make her more mature, more angsty or whatever the hell else and not style her like that

The way Aisha's abilities flipflop between episodes and scenes. Very inconsistent. One minute she's struggling with a drop of water and the next she is moving an entire body of water for her bestie Bloom to fake transform because the plot demands it. Why even add in her struggles at all if you're just going to ignore it?

Why was Stella with them in that scene? She didn't do anything literally.. Aisha pulled the water and she did .. nothing.

Who the fuck is Rosalind? Why would they add her in,, to add nothing to story? The company of light was a thing, they could've plucked one of them hoes to be the antagonist. Why did the winx club need their own Delores Umbridge? Valtor was right there if you wanted an evil educator type character.

The camera work was so bland during the down beats, stagnant and fixed during a fairy party and erratic and ugly and disorienting during the fight scenes

I'm not getting over the fairy party because it was a good opportunity for the production and everyone else to show the differences between where Bloom was and where she is now but instead it just looks like a regular teen high school party?? This could have been set in Switzerland fr.

Everyone's just kind of standing?? You mean to tell me these people are from all different places in the magical dimension and their customs are all the same? They all throw parties like this ??

White and flavorless I am very bored

I guess the main question or takeaway I have is just.. who is this for? Because everyone, including the showrunners keep saying that it's for us, the fans of the original. But apart from the characters sharing some names, there are really no other similarities. So again, who was this supposed to appease or placate or satisfy? Because it sure as hell wasn't the winx club fans.

Overall, this feels very much like something I wrote and probably published on ff.net when I was 13 because I thought girls couldn't be taken seriously if they liked pink, and injected angst into everything that didn't need it and had no idea how to structure scenes or dialogue. It's just bad, objectively and N*tflix will keep making shit like this because apparently some people have bad taste??? Idk yol, be easy

#im never gonna stop i dont care i dont care #and i dont even usually make my own posts i just be reblogging and vibing #but im passionate abt this because he originak was the reason i wanted to learn how to draw #it was the reason i wanted to learn how to write and tell stories #it shaped a lot of shit for me because it was the very first one of its kind id ever seen #i ran home from school to watch it and argued with my friends about who got to be flora #i forced them to make cardboard wings with me and to perform the opening song during a school talent show #thank god we didnt get to perform otherwise we would all have died of embarrassment in hindsight #but ye i just hate to see things that obviously are very dear to a lot of people be treated with such casual indignity and its a disservice #a disservice to the fans and to the people who had probably want to create it as a passion project #to the people who spent hours and hours in rewrites and fanart amazing fanart and post series continuations #no one is saying the original is sacred and cannot be touch #this fandom actively calls out the bullshit rainbow has done and continues to do to the characters we love.. i havent spoken to one fan who #doesnt have an alter dedicated to their downfall. we found a piece of ourselves in these gorls and they were stripped and caricatured and #played for laughs so netfilx can make money and its just very upsetting to see.#so again fuck you brian young fuck you ignio and rainbow and fuck whoever the costume designer was #mine #text #fate winx club #fate: the winx saga #f:tws #winx club

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