#also attempting to finish two comics with back ground elements

[nickfoo]

Attempting a fully colored piece with background elements

Pray for me

[aminiatureworld]

Careless Words

Characters: Albedo, Childe, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,114

Warnings: Brief depiction of drunken character, swearing

Premise: Words are thrown around so carelessly, phrases, endearments, accusations. But when all is gone and only the words remain it can be difficult to pick up the pieces.

In which the reader and their s/o argue and make up.

Author’s Note: Ended up spending a good two hours on Albedo’s bit alone, wow I got carried away with this. Also I feel so bad for Childe, I’m sorry!

Not proofread cause I ran out of time, will do so tomorrow.

Albedo

“Do you even respect what I do?” Those words kept ringing through your ears, a bitter litany that fueled your anger just as it began to fade. Do you even respect what I do?

Of course you did, you respected him and his work very much, it was one of the first things that had drawn you to him, his inquisitiveness, his eternal questions, his determination to unlock the secrets of the world.

But really could he not do all that in his lab where all of his experiments and equipment belonged?

At first you hadn’t really paid attention, it was just a few plants after all. When you’d asked what they were for Albedo had smiled eagerly, replying that he wanted to see how different plants, especially those infused with elements, reacted to sunlight. You had just smiled then, although you were slightly worried about the mist flower freezing the ground around it. Still, it was a mundane enough experiment, and the plants looked very pretty on the windowsill. Nothing to worry about.

Well evidently that wasn’t quite the case because one experiment morphed into two morphed into five morphed into ten, until there seemed barely enough room to live among the beakers and graduated cylinders, the odd smells emanating from the various petri dishes which now scattered the coffee tables and the dressers.

It was becoming a nuisance, plain and simple. More than a few times you’d managed to almost tip something over, trying to grab a book off a shelf that was crammed with small boxes of various specimen, or almost putting a pot down on a counter covered with vials of whooper-flower nectars. You couldn’t live like this, and though you wanted to let Albedo carry on as uninhibited as possible, it couldn’t go on any longer. You were going to scream.

“Albedo, can we talk?”

“Of course.” Albedo looked up from the microscope he’d managed to cram on the coffee table. You let out a smile that quickly morphed into a grimace, making your way to the couch, careful not to bump into the table.

“Albedo, I love your passion in all that you do, but you really do have to tidy up a bit. I’m sorry I know it’s a bit of an inconvenience, but it’s just becoming a little difficult, you understand?”

“It’s only a few experiments.” Albedo replied, gaze still fixated on whatever he was observing. You felt a twinge of frustration, had he even heard you?

“This is serious Albedo. I don’t want to ruin any of your experiments, but it’s really becoming an impossible situation. We can barely cook for fear of crashing into something, and I’ve started waking up to the smell of fire flowers burning. Can’t you move one or two things into your laboratory?” You tried to keep your tone light, hoping that this time would be more successful. It was very irritating to feel like you weren’t being heard.

“I have an important experiment going on at the lab. It needs space and air. So I’m just moving everything here for the time being.”

“How long is that going to take?” You asked, once again feeling frustration rising up. He couldn’t even look up at you.

“Three weeks or so.”

“Three weeks?” You couldn’t help but let out a cry. “Albedo I’m sorry I cannot live like this for three weeks.”

“Why not.” It wasn’t even a question.

“Please look at me.” You finally said, tone dropping to one that made no attempt to hide your growing irritation. Albedo let out a curt sigh, glancing over at you with a disinterested sort of gaze. “You have to move some of this stuff out Albedo. It would be one thing if it was a week, but three? We can barely live right now, what are we supposed to do for the next three weeks?”

“I don’t know.” Albedo scowled in a dismissive tone. “I think you’re making too much of it.”

“And I think you aren’t listening. Are you even hearing what I’m saying? Even processing the situation? Or are you so focused on that microscope that you can’t see that your partner is besides themselves.”

“You seem fine to me,” Albedo’s tone continued its aloof cadence, “I don’t see why you can’t just wait three weeks. You’re being awfully demanding.”

“I…” for a moment you were speechless, feeling as if you were fighting a losing battle, why was it so much easier for Albedo so say words that meant nothing at all while you were quickly finding yourself losing your cool? “You aren’t listening to me!” You finally managed to get out, knowing by this time you were awfully close to shouting but too frustrated to care.

“And you aren’t listening to me,” Albedo’s tone finally began to inch into something a little more emotional, you weren’t sure why but it gave you a hint of satisfaction, “do you even respect what I do? Or are you too wrapped up in yourself.”

It was like getting punched in the gut.

“Fine.” You stepped away almost knocking into a dresser crammed with empty equipment. For a moment you wondered what you could say that would hurt him so much but quickly gave it up. You were too angry to think straight anyways; right now you just wanted to get out.

“Where are you going?” Albedo’s tone seemed to have shrunk back to its previous range.

You didn’t even respond, not bothering to gather anything up as you made your way to the door. Albedo called out your name once. You responded by slamming the door as hard as you could on your way out.

•

At first Albedo simply went back to his observations, trying to ignore the negative feelings that churned inside him. How dare you, he thought, how dare you take him and his work so lightly. Maybe it was good that you were getting out of the house, Albedo wasn’t sure how long he could’ve lasted until he lapsed into that horrible shrieking as well. “How embarrassing.” He murmured to himself, as if that would drown the unease. Still the fight was new and the emotions were raw. He wasn’t about to ponder the matter anytime soon.

This carefree attitude slipped a bit when you didn’t come home for dinner. Still he simply sighed and went to cook for himself. By now his anger had cooled extensively and he was beginning to feel a bitter sort of regret. Maybe he had been to harsh, though he still wasn’t ready to admit he was wrong. No, you were just being dramatic, and though he should’ve been kinder with you, backing down was absolutely not on the table for him. He cared about his work after all, cared deeply; he couldn’t just stop because it was inconvenient to you. Moving a few vials out of the way Albedo laid out the chopping block. The amount of pasta he’d bought looked comical against the knowledge that he was going to be eating alone tonight.

Dinner was a sad affair. Somehow Albedo had gotten used to cooking with you, your proximity, your easy conversation, the way the one who finished their food first always pushed their chair next to the slower party, usually to lean their head on the other ones shoulder which while not necessarily comfortable was certainly relaxing. It was lonely now, and the loneliness only grew as Albedo lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow would be better. Still he lay there, thoughts scattered and hazy. Was he in the wrong? He couldn’t tell. But certainly he was in the wrong now, in the wrong for not being with you like usual, for not reacting when you left, for still being unable to react now.

It was that thought that eventually lulled him to sleep.

Albedo woke up to the most horrible smell. Squinting he sat up, trying to figure out what in the world was going on. The smell was vaguely akin to burning flesh, but it that flesh was also experiencing a bad case of freezer burn. Fighting the urge to gag Albedo stumbled around. Once he got to the living room he groaned. Some ammonia had managed to fall of the shelf and spill onto all the flowers he’d propped on the roof. Crinkling his nose he went to clean it up, but found it took about twenty minutes just to find where he’d put the tools for properly disposing equipment and bio-experiments.

By the time he was done the final shreds of his resolve had utterly dissipated. You were right. You were absolutely right and he absolutely needed to tell you. Barely stopping by the lab to throw the bags of ruined equipment in the trash he sprinted down the streets of Mondstadt. He hoped that he arrived at the Guild in time.

Albedo spied you just as your were getting your commissions handed to you. Calling out he stopped slightly as you turned to look at him with a weary gaze. Clearly you were still upset about the matter, and for a moment Albedo wondered whether or not he should just turn and leave. But he knew that wouldn’t help either. Nothing would help until he apologized, and that was exactly what he was going to you.

“Albedo I-”

“I’m so sorry,” Albedo blurted out, not wanting to give you a chance to misconstrue his actions, “I am truly so sorry my darling. You were absolutely right, and I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that. I am so deeply sorry.”

“Albedo,” you replied, voice sort of quiet in a way that worried him, “I’m very glad to accept your apology for that, I’m sorry for snapping at you, only…”

“Only?”

“Only did you mean what you said when you asked if I even cared? Do you think I am so selfish or so careless. I understand of course that words said in arguments are ones no one really thinks of, but I still want to know.” You glanced away, trailing off and Albedo felt his heart seize and a wave of guilt poured over him.

“Of course not!” Albedo stepped closer to you. “May I?” He opened his arms and you nodded briefly before closing the room between you two.

You buried your face in his shoulder, not wanting to look up. “I’m so sorry my darling,” Albedo whispered, running circles along your back. “I’m so sorry for making you question you and how I saw you like that. You’re right, I wasn’t thinking. I was the one too wrapped up in myself, in my work, and for that I am so deeply sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you mumbled, just happy to be as you’d been before. Arguments were always unpleasant, no matter what, but now it was all said and done and you could be yourselves again.

“Would you like to eat lunch together?” Albedo ventured, smiling when you looked up and gave a soft “yes”. The relief he felt was overwhelming and he vowed next time to be more careful.

One can get over arguments, but words are difficult to take back.

 Childe

Although you disliked the Fatui in a vague, formal sort of way, that hatred had never truly been honed until you’d met Dottore.

At first you weren’t able to pinpoint what it was. Perhaps it was his erratic gaze, his odd smile, the way that he seemed to look at everything as if it was something to dissect – something which made you extremely uncomfortable. But then your dislike was given a proper motive when he and Childe went out one evening and your partner came back so plastered he didn’t seem to know who you were.

“Sorry about that dear.” Childe has laughed the day after, honestly how this man never seemed to have a proper hangover you didn’t know, not that he was drunk around you very often, something you appreciated greatly.

“Just don’t do it again.” You’d replied, frowning slightly. “That Dottore is a bad influence.”

“Awh, he’s not that bad,” Childe grinned, carelessly tossing about a book he had been reading, “not as bad as half the others anyways.”

“Still, be careful,” you commented, “you don’t want this to be a regular thing do you?”

“Aren’t I always careful?” Childe shook off your worry with his characteristic charm. “Besides Dottore’s going to be called back for a report to the Tsaritsa in about two weeks. Might as well make what you can out of his company while it lasts.”

“Perhaps.” You commented, secretly thinking that day couldn’t come close enough. Still it was only once, and you trusted Childe. He didn’t seem to like any of the Fatui anyways. Hopefully that would keep him from the fiasco of knocking down your door at 3:00.

But that didn’t stop him from doing it the next night, or the night after, or the night after. By night five you were absolutely done.

“Childe you have to stop this, you’re going to kill yourself the way you’re drinking.”

“You’re making too much of a fuss my dear,” Childe flitted his hand in the air as if batting away your concern, “if you think this is a lot you should see the sprees people go on in Snezhnaya. Honestly it’s only a little bit of fun, you know how hard it is to relax as a member of the Fatui in Liyue. Drinking buddies are hard to find, especially those who share my skill.”

“It’s more than a little bit of fun. Honestly Childe if I took this week by itself I’d think you were halfway to alcoholism! And I don’t appreciate you dragging me out of bed in the middle of the night, for fear you’d fall down the stairs if I left you and hurt yourself. It’s uncomfortable, seeing you so drunk.”

“Why?” Childe’s tone was still playful, but his eyes were narrowed slightly. Good. At least then he was listening to you.

“Have you ever interacted with a drunk person? Especially a drunk person on their fifth bender that week? It’s uncomfortable whether or not you know them and if you do it’s downright terrifying. Childe, I care about you and your health. And I’m begging you please stop these nights.”

“It’s fine.” Childe’s voice was growing harder by the moment. “I told you I can handle it, why do you have to pester so much?”

“Because I care about you!”

“Well maybe you should care a bit less.”

Childe stood up, making his way to the door. You knew that he was going to the Bank, knew that he was going to be out that night, but you said nothing. For now Childe’s sentence rang through your head. How could something so short be so painful. Shaking your head you moved to get your own equipment. Today was going to be a painful day.

You’d half expected the knock not to come, but sure enough it did. Turning to the clock you groaned inwardly. 3:45. Getting up you made your way to the door. Opening it you nearly slipped as your partner leaned on you. There was vodka on his breath and it made you feel as if you had no air. His words rattled through your head, refusing to leave since you’d first heard them. Maybe you should care a bit less. Fine, you would.

“Comrade?” Childe let out weakly. That was a new one. You made your way to the elevator and shoved him in there, making sure to angle it so he wouldn’t concuss himself.

“Get sober somewhere else.” And with that you slammed the button for the lobby floor, running out as the doors closed behind you. Childe made a strangled cry of protest but you didn’t care. You just wanted to sleep, and to forget. Maybe you should care less. Well why did it hurt to do so?

•

Childe squinted as a few rays of sun hit him square in the face. What was going on? Groaning he moved to reach for some blanket before realizing there was none. Shaking his head and ignoring the pounding headache that glanced right behind his eyelids he looked around. His mind was running as slow as it seemed possible to run but the minute it registered Childe felt himself flooded with embarrassment. A bench.

He was on a bench. Childe, Tartaglia, the Harbinger who had almost sunk Liyue. Said Harbinger was now sleeping on a bench, not because he’d fallen on hard times, not because of any reason that was understandable, but because he’d gotten too drunk to make it home.

No, not quite. Childe reached back into his memory, trying to piece together the night before. He had made it home, to your home, but you’d kicked him out. At first Childe felt a swell of irritation, but slowly but surely his memory caught up and he recalled the argument the morning before. He’d said something, hadn’t he. What was it?

Oh. Oh fuck.

Running back to your apartment he tried to straighten himself up, as if it wasn’t painfully obvious that he wasn’t nursing the worse sort of hangover. Damn he really relied on you. He relied on you and now he’d fucked up and now he needed to apologize.

Unfortunately his brain had only gotten that far so when you opened the door there was a bit of a pause, as he tried to think of what to say, words being drowned out by the pounding in his head.

“What do you want Childe?” You sighed, looking more depressed than anything. Childe felt a twinge of regret, but still the words wouldn’t come, not properly anyways, he must’ve still been a little drunk.

“I’m sorry.” Childe began, figuring that was the best way to go. “I’m sorry. Thank you and I’m sorry.”

“Thank you?” You tilted your head. “Are you sure you aren’t still drunk? I told you to sober up somewhere else.”

“Yes, I know, and I don’t know. But thank you for caring. And for looking after me. And I’m sorry.”

There was another pause, before you sighed.

“Come in.” You gestured, opening the door wider. Childe smiled weakly.

“Thank you.”

“Thank me later. I want to see you straightened up. And I want you to stop drinking like that.”

“I will.” Childe promised, making his way to the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to smash his face into a pillow. “Dottore was bad company anyways. Dear?”

“Yes?” You asked, still feeling a little shy. Perhaps you should’ve been more angry, but arguing always sat with you wrong. As did throwing Childe out.

“Thank you for caring.”

“You already said that.” You pointed out, finally cracking a smile, something that Childe mirrored, seeming somehow relieved.

“I know. But thank you.”

“Thank you for listening then.” You replied closing the blinds as Childe flopped onto the bed, sighing happily. “And thank you for forgiving me for kicking you out.”

“So callous.” Childe muttered, barely hearing your slight laugh as he drifted off to sleep.

 Xiao

You hadn’t wanted to fight, not at all. Your relationship was still so young after all, so raw, but you couldn’t help it. And now, as you watched Xiao disappear into thin air, you felt the sour taste of fear mixed with anger and regret. You’d almost forgotten really, how quickly an adeptus can vanish.

The point of contention had been your commissions. While Xiao said nothing against them verbally, you could tell that your newfound partner was dissatisfied by your constant comings and goings, something made worse by your recent string of long trips. And it had all come to a head when you announced you’d be gone a month, traveling into Inazuma via a covert nautical route – thank you Beidou – before delivering a few papers to the Monstadt embassy, most being passports and travel papers for diplomats who let theirs expire. Xiao had listened to the scheme, glared becoming more and more pronounced as you went on. And when you were done he just shook his head and crossed his arms.

“You aren’t going.”

“What do you mean I’m not going?” You asked, confused.

“You aren’t going. For the love of the Seven, what kind of partner let’s their loved one smuggle themselves into a country with no chance of reprieve if something goes wrong and with no contact for a month? You aren’t going.”

“I’m going whether you like it or not,” you replied, irritation quickly running through your voice, “it’s fine Xiao, many people have done this before. And we need to get those Liyue diplomats home. Honestly, I’m not sure why you aren’t proud of me, proud of what I’m doing.”

“Because you’re putting yourself in needless danger and breaking the law for a few people who I’m sure could do just fine themselves.”

“You can’t just keep me from being an Adventurer Xiao. You can’t keep me from doing my job.”

“I told you it’s because I care about you.”

“No, it’s because you’re putting yourself above the needs of both myself and your own land. Xiao, don’t you care about Liyue?”

“I care about the land,” his voice was like stone, and when you glanced into his eyes for a moment they seemed truly without empathy or care, the gaze of an adeptus who understood nothing of the human world, “humanity can rot.”

“I’m a human,” you pointed out, voice soft. “Don’t you care about me.”

For a moment recognition flitted through Xiao’s expression and he seemed almost regretful. Then his gaze hardened over once more.

“You aren’t going.” And with that he disappeared.

•

It took Xiao approximately ten minutes to regret the entire situation. Being angry for long periods of time wasn’t necessarily an alien emotion to Xiao – sometimes he felt as if he carried anger everywhere he went – but anger at you certainly was, and no sooner had it arrived then it was fading away, replaced instead with a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Why was he so upset? Was it really out of care for you? Yes, he decided, there was that aspect to it. But there was something more, something less noble. He was afraid, he was afraid for you. He was afraid you’d be arrested, or your ship would succumb to the open ocean, or you’d be betrayed, or…

Thoughts fluttered in and out of Xiao’s mind, each one more outlandish than the rest. Behind them said the same thing. He was afraid. You were right, he was afraid.

Did he care about humans? No, Xiao could say that with certainty. Not the way humans cared about each other, the way the humans cared about the adepti, when they thought about them. Xiao hadn’t cared for humans for a very long time. Even the karma that he kept from wreaking the land was exorcised, not because of humans, but because it was his duty. He didn’t care about humans, not really.

But he did care about you. He cared about you and he didn’t want to keep you from what you loved in return. Not like he didn’t know you would go do your mission anyways. You would do your mission and if Xiao wasn’t careful the weeks of cultivating an acquaintanceship, and friendship, and then more would be ruined. And he’d just be left, watching and waiting, wondering if you’d be alright.

Xiao was thankful that you hadn’t left the balcony of the Inn. Appearing before you he reached out to hug you before hesitating.

“You can go.” He murmured, knowing that wasn’t ever a question.

“I’m going.”

“And I’m sorry.”

“I wish you hadn’t disappeared like that.” You frowned, but Xiao shook his head. Was that the worst he’d done?

“No, I’m sorry for saying you couldn’t go. I’m sorry for not caring. I’m sorry.”

You furrowed your brow in a familiar expression and Xiao nodded slightly. Hurrying to embrace him you shook your head, still not over what had just transpired so quickly.

“Your eyes were so cold.” You murmured.

“I’m sorry.” Xiao murmured again, hugging you tightly.

“Don’t be.” You replied. “Just, stay like this a little longer.” Xiao was all to happy to comply.

It was easy to forget Xiao was an adeptus sometimes, that he still had that side of him, those cold eyes, that brusque demeanor. But even if that sometimes threw you off, even if you argued and worried and regretted, it would all be fine in the end.

Because you’d always return to a familiar embrace, and a shared love.

[peterparker-pickedapepper]

Always You

(Peter Parker/Spider-Man x Stark!Reader)

Chapter 01

A/N: this is set during Homecoming (and eventually FFH) in a universe where Tony isn’t ☠️ bc we don’t acknowledge that trauma here 🙂 also, there are elements from the comics and the older movies, but it’s still in the MCU

———————————————————————

I never meant to find it.

And I wasn’t being nosy either. It was my dads fault, really. Okay so yes, I wasn’t supposed to be in his workshop. But is it my fault he just leaves important things lying around? Mom’s told him to keep it tidy enough times you think it’d be engrained in his brain.

Anyway, the how isn’t important. Not even the why matters. It’s everything that came after.

It was the day my world began falling apart.

The moment I lost all trust—all respect—for the two men closest to my heart.

Now that I know their secret, I don’t see how I’ll be able to look them in the eye. But I’m going to do it. I’m going to keep my head up, act as normal as possible...

And see how long it takes for them to tell me themselves.

———————————————————————

                      Three Months Earlier

“I’m here on the corner of fifth and main, just a street away from the reported sighting of a flying man causing panic among the locals.”

Y/N adjusted her fingers around the smooth base of the microphone, her skin slipping against the hard plastic. It wasn’t nerves causing the dampness on her palms, but excitement. Her eyes flickered from the camera lens pointed in her direction to her best friend standing behind it before easily finding their mark again.

“The large, mechanically winged man has been wrecking havoc in New York’s beloved neighborhood of Queens for the last—”

The ground suddenly shifted beneath her feet with a loud boom, jolting her forward and stopping her report mid-sentence. She twirled around, eyes instantly landing on the sandwich shop across the street.

Or, rather, on the man looming ominously from its roof.

She could only assume it was a man. She’d never seen his face—or any part of his body for that matter—not that his skintight suit left anything to the imagination. But the media affectionately called him “Spider-Man”, so they pretty much filled in the blanks on that one.

She watched as he seemingly surveyed the area. It was always so hard to tell what was going on behind that mask, but every time she saw him she liked to imagine a picture perfect heroic expression etched into handsome features.

It made her disdain for the local superstar a little easier to swallow down.

His head swiveled back and forth a few times, fists clenching at his sides, before he shot one of his webs and disappeared on the other side of the building. She immediately turned back toward her camerawoman, lips pulled into an excited grin.

“This is perfect. Come on.” She wasted no time in scooping up some of the equipment laying at her feet, but stopped short when she noticed the apprehensive expression staring back at her.

“I don’t think I’m really in the mood to run toward danger today.” Her best friend’s bored voice didn’t match the concern she knew was brewing just below the surface.

“MJ,” Y/N all but whined. “We need this story.”

“We need to get ready for next week’s debate.” She muttered, mild annoyance seeping through. “We need to be home in twenty minutes so your dad doesn’t kill us. We need—”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Y/N huffed, tossing the last of the camera supplies into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder.

She turned on her heel, pulling her phone from her back pocket as she moved toward the last crash that sounded a few blocks away. She was getting this story, whether she had to go alone or not. Screw her father’s arbitrary curfew. He was in India for the next few days, anyway.

“You’re serious?” MJ’s incredulous voice echoed from behind her. “What about Liz’s party?”

Y/N’s attention only wavered from the small screen in her hands once she was finished temporarily disabling the tracking feature her dad had not so subtly installed before giving it to her. He didn’t need to know she almost immediately figured out it was there, just like she didn’t need to know that he got a notification every time she hacked into the system.

Her eyes found MJ’s, wide with shock and following something in the sky above. Y/N’s head snapped upward, gaze locking on the flying man who was twisting and turning aggressively in an attempt to kick Spider-Man off his right wing.

“Yes. Very serious.” She huffed, pulse jumping with excitement. “If FRIDAY calls just, please, try to be convincing.”

With that, she spun around one last time before jogging toward the action. She knew MJ’s hesitation was coming from a good place. They’d been inseparable since middle school because they were on opposing ends of the same strong-willed base.

Where MJ was methodical and calculated, Y/N was rash and unpredictable. They were both the type to end up involved in sketchy situations, just at varying speeds and levels of grandeur. Y/N had her father to thank for that.

The iconic Tony Stark was not a pretender. He was who he was, loud and proud. He’d never apologized for it before—not even when he should’ve—and he probably never would. Y/N, on the other hand, had been pretending to be something she wasn’t for more than a decade.

He’d given her a choice when she was old enough for kindergarten. They talked about it, mapped out the pros and cons, and she made a decision. Soon after, she entered the outside world as Y/N Smith. It was the best thing her five year old brain could think of. Plus, she didn’t want her place on the alphabetical rosters to change.

She went to public schools—something Tony never missed an opportunity to mention he hated—and started paving her own way. Right now, that meant she was chasing a super-powered fight through the streets of Queens.

Since landing a highly sought after internship at The Daily Bugle, Y/N’s main priority had been impressing her overbearing bosses. That came with varying levels of complexity, depending on the superhero shenanigans of the month.

She rounded a corner into an alleyway, instantly ducking down when a blindingly bright object whizzed by her head. Her arms shot up in a protective motion as she leaned against the cool brick wall at her side. She remained there, frozen in place with a racing heart, for several seconds.

Something thumped to the concrete only a foot away from her crumpled frame, nearly making her jump out of her skin. She peeked through her arms, still crossed over her head, eyes widening as they landed on a pile of red and black fabric.

The lump groaned and slowly unraveled to reveal Queens’ favorite masked hero. He shook his head, the mechanical eyes of his suit twitching as if malfunctioning. Y/N was stuck in her spot, wide eyes hungrily drinking in every detail they could. Despite following his activity for months now, she’d never gotten this close to the mystery man.

His suit was tighter than she thought possible. It hugged his body in a way that left nothing to the imagination. The rippling muscles lining his torso were clearly visible beneath the thick material. She watched as he sat back on his heels and rubbed the side of his head, shoulders tensing as he seemed to finally realize that she was there.

“Whoa, hey.” Came his breathy, surprisingly high-pitched greeting. He cleared his throat before continuing, a steady hand extending her way. “Are you okay, miss?”

Y/N’s brow furrowed in curiosity, not missing the way his demeanor changed the moment he noticed her. It was like a flip switched. He’d turned on his superhero persona, a process she was unfortunately all too familiar with.

“I’m fine.” The words came out more forcefully than she’d intended, but she was all business now, too.

There was no way she was letting him out of her sight without getting some information. She wasn’t even worried about all the ways her bosses would kill her, she’d beat herself up enough for the missed opportunity. She ignored his hand, dusting her jeans off and hobbling to her feet before reaching for her phone to launch the recording app.

“Can I ask you a few questions, Spider-Man?” She jutted the phone out in front of her, and he took a step back as if the device would somehow hurt him.

The eyes on his mask widened, something she didn’t know was possible. “Oh. I...uh—”

Just then, the ground shook with a massive impact that couldn’t have been more than a block away. It would’ve knocked Y/N right off her feet if it weren’t for the gloved hand that shot out to stabilize her.

“Gotta go!”

By the time his hasty goodbye met her ears, he was gone. It took about ten seconds for Y/N to process what just happened before she took off running in the same direction he’d swung in. She was too far in to give up now. At this point, she’d settle for some shaky footage of the fight. It’d be enough to satisfy her editors for a few days.

She ran out in the street, stopping abruptly as a stampede of people swarmed her. Elbows and shoulders rammed into her sides as she tried fighting her way through the panic. 

“Oh, come on people! Chill the fuck out!” She found herself shouting to deaf ears. 

Maybe it was because she grew up immersed in the superhero way of life, or her bordering on unhealthy need to get some kind of story tonight, but either way she was aggravated by the public reaction more than anything.

She was rarely scared anymore, even when faced with imminent danger. Admittedly, she didn’t have a good gauge for when she might be getting herself into trouble. Another thing she blamed her father for. 

Her eyes remained trained on the sky, watching the fight unfold in mid-air. She cringed as Spider-Man nearly fell off the homemade-looking flying suit. He quickly regained his balance, shooting a web into one of the back engines. It immediately started sputtering as the metal clanked and caught in the sticky substance. 

They were going down, and fast. She knew this was probably her last chance to get any kind of discernable footage of the event, so she reached into her back pocket for her phone. It was at this moment that someone decided to shove into her so hard that she lost her footing and tumbled to the ground. 

A rush of air left her lungs as she hit the asphalt, hard. She couldn’t help but wince as pain shot up both of her arms. There would definitely be bruises she’d need to hide later. Thankfully, at least she ended up near the curb so she wasn’t instantly trampled to death by the screaming crowd. 

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and huffed, wiping away the tiny rocks that were now embedded into her palms. She was about to hobble to her feet and call tonight a wash when her eyes landed on a blueish-purple glow coming from a nearby alley.

Maybe she wouldn’t get any useable footage tonight, but a souvenir would lift her spirits and, hopefully, her credibility in the office. Without wasting anymore time, she stumbled to her feet and ducked into the darkness of the cramped space.

She followed the pulsating light, stopping only when her eyes landed on a small, metallic object. It had a thin silver cage protecting what looked like a gem or rock of some kind. Nothing too crazy, aside from the whole glowing thing. Her brows furrowed with curiosity as she crouched down to get a better view. 

She had absolutely no idea what it was, and she’d seen a lot of weird things in her dads workshop. The only thing she could compare it to was some of the alien technology that’d been leftover from the Battle of New York. She’d run a few stories about that herself, plus saw her dad tinkering with some things since Thor took Loki back to Asgard.

Figuring she could show it to him at the very least, she pulled the end of her sleeve over her hand and grabbed it. She let her bag slip off of her shoulder and quickly unzipped it before sliding the object inside. 

Just then, the sound of screeching metal filled her ears at a deafening volume. She managed to close her bag before covering her ears and ducking against the brick alley wall. The crowd still surrounding the area screamed in horror.

She watched with wide eyes as the huge bird-man landed on the rooftop just a few feet away from her crouched form. It was the closest she’d been to the masked—villain? She wasn’t sure—and he was far more intimidating than she’d first assumed.

His glowing beady green eyes didn’t so much as glance in her direction as he slung Spider-Man over the edge of the building, the tip of one of his wings wrapped around his throat.

An involuntary gasp tore through her chest.

It wasn’t that she was worried about the hero. For one, she knew he was more than capable of fending for himself. It wasn’t even that she cared if he got hurt. He was mostly an annoyance to her, his illusive nature making her job way harder than usual.

But if she knew one thing in this moment, it was that the bird-man was the bad guy, and she couldn’t let him win.

So, she did something really stupid.

She found the closest thing that she thought might actually do any kind of damage—which was, unfortunately, an old bike helmet next to the dumpster—and chucked it at the pair.

It hit one of the metal wings with a pathetic clink and all three of them froze.

Y/N held her breath as the man’s head turned in her direction slowly. Way too slowly. Like ‘I’m going to really enjoy killing you’ slowly.

After that, everything happened impossibly fast.

“Hey! Watch out!” 

She barely had time to recognize the panicked voice before she was flying. Her stomach flipped and she couldn’t even scream, overcome with sudden vertigo. She pinched her eyes shut the second she saw the top of a building and clutched onto whatever was carrying her away. 

If it was the weird bird guy, she accepted whatever evil plan he had. But, if it was Spider-Man, she was going to kill him.

It must’ve only been seconds before her feet touched solid ground, but it felt like an eternity to her. The moment she felt the stability beneath her, she began fighting against her captor.

“Let me go! Oh my god. If you don’t put me down right now—”

“What the hell—ow!”

Once she was free, she staggered away from him with a huff. She cleared the hair out of her eyes and bent over, resting her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding wildly and her stomach was still doing summer-salts.

She raised her eyes to send a withering glare toward the masked man. “Never do that shit again.”

He stared at her—at least she assumed—for a long moment before taking a step forward.

“What the hell was that? You could’ve gotten yourself hurt.” He gestured wildly with his hands, clearly agitated.

“That’s one way to thank me for saving your life.” Y/N ground out, sounding way more bitter than she would’ve liked.

“Saving my—” The eyes on his mask narrowed incredulously. “You did not save my life. All you did was distract me and put like ten other people in danger.”

She couldn’t help but scoff. “Please. Spare me the morality speech, Spider-Man. We both know you don’t bother worrying about people like me.”

Y/N was all too familiar with how superheroes think. When they’re in the middle of a fight, all they care about is winning. They usually have a bigger mission to accomplish. One that doesn’t concern itself with the lives left behind.

“People like you are all I worry about, trust me.”

With that harsh declaration, a heavy silence fell between them. Y/N clenched her jaw tightly, biting her tongue to prevent the floodgates from opening. Spider-Man wasn’t the only one who deserved her hostility toward superheroes, he just happened to be the one in front of her now.

Instead of speaking her mind, she turned on her heel and stalked away from him. At this point, it was late. The sun had set and her dad surely knew she wasn’t home when she promised. She had to accept that today just wasn’t her day and head back for some damage control.

Peter, feeling his chest tighten with regret for the way he’d snapped, followed closely behind her quick steps.

“Wait!” She actually stopped, something he wasn’t expecting, so he rammed right into her back. His hands quickly wrapped around her biceps as she spun around. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I, uh...”

He didn’t know what to say. This was the second time in one night he’d run into her, but he was still dumbstruck. The circumstances weren’t ideal. He thought he’d lost her earlier, but then she had to go and put herself in danger.

He took a step away from her, dropping his hands and rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. He had to remind himself that she had no idea who he was. Even if he did embarrass himself—like he usually did around her—she wouldn���t know it was him when they saw each other in the halls come Monday.

“At least let me get you home.” He insisted, feeling bad that he’d indirectly kept her out so late.

Y/N pursed her lips, immediately wanting to accept his offer but trying not to give too much away. Truthfully, she was exhausted. She just wanted to get home and deal with the fallout disobeying her curfew would bring so she could get some sleep.

“Alright.” She sighed, pulling anxiously at the straps of her bag. She knew this meant she’d have to swing through the streets again, something she wasn’t nearly ready to do.

Nevertheless, she allowed Spider-Man to walk toward her. She averted her eyes as he wrapped an arm around her back and tried not to let her breath catch when his gloved fingers skimmed the exposed skin of her lower back where her shirt had ridden up.

Warmth enveloped her as his proximity settled in. Under his mask, Peter’s face was burning. This was by far the closest he’d been to his classmate. Or any girl, actually. Not wanting to think about it for a second longer, he shot a web toward a nearby building and followed the directions Y/N yelled out.

Within minutes, they landed on the helipad outside her front door.

Peter felt his stomach drop with realization once he let his eyes wander around the outside of the huge building.

“Oh my god. Is this seriously where you live?” He cleared his throat after squeaking out the question, not necessarily wanting to give away his shock.

“What?” Y/N scoffed teasingly. “Don’t I look like a spoiled rich girl?”

“That’s not—I wasn’t—” He didn’t know what he was trying to say, honestly. There were endless questions flitting through us mind at warp speed.

If she lived here, at the Avengers Tower, did that mean she was one of them? And he just hadn’t met her yet? Or did she work for Mr. Stark? But she was so young. He guessed she could be an assistant or something. Maybe she worked for Pepper? Or Happy? Or, she could—

Y/N rolled her eyes, deciding to spare him the embarrassment of sputtering any more. “My dad is famous...like helped form the Avengers famous.”

Peter’s mind went blank. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Cap?” It was the first name to spill out of his mouth. “Wait, can he even have kids?”

Y/N couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her at his assumption. “He totally can, but no.”

“Oh.” The gears of his brain started turning again and realization slowly dawned on him. He felt his throat run dry as his eyes widened behind his mask. “Oh.”

Shit. This was way worse. He couldn’t believe he had no idea who she really was. Sure, she used a different last name at school, but he should’ve seen the resemblance sooner.

“Look, I know you two have worked together.” Y/N sighed, thinking back to all those weeks her dad was gone fighting Steve and the rest of his friends for no real reason. “Can you just...not tell him about this?”

Peter’s brows furrowed in confusion. Why wouldn’t she want Mr. Stark knowing that she’d been with him?

Either way, he agreed, since he had a favor to ask of his own. “Only if you won’t.”

She gave him this dumbfounded look, and he knew he had to elaborate.

“He made me this suit before the whole thing with Captain America, so I thought he would keep giving me missions, but now it’s been months and he won’t return my calls. I’m lucky if I get through to Happy. He doesn’t want me getting involved in this stuff, so...”

It struck Y/N then how weird it was to hear a superhero talk about her family so casually. It didn’t seem possible that the two of them were in the same circles. Sure, she’d practically grown up with a few of the world’s most famous heroes, but somehow Spider-Man was different.

He was local. And elusive. A pure mystery to her.

“What exactly is this stuff?” She thought back to the weird glowing object in her bag, having almost forgotten it was there.

“I don’t know.” Peter shook his head, seemingly defeated. “I thought it was just neighborhood stuff, but those guns...I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Alien tech.” Y/N said without hesitation, although she wasn’t actually positive that’s what it was. “My dad has some in his workshop. It was leftover from the Battle of New York.”

“How does it work?” Peter found himself asking excitedly, easily pushing all the other revelations from this conversation to the back of his mind.

“I don’t know.” She admitted, looking away from him as her chest tightened with emotion. “I’ve never gotten close enough to any of it to see. He likes to keep me out of things too...”

It was at that moment, as a breath of silence settled between them, that they realized she was still in his arms. Y/N’s face erupted with heat and she quickly pushed herself away from him. Once her feet were back on the ground, they both stepped backward to create some much needed distance.

“I, ah...better get back...”

“Yeah, yeah. I have to go too...”

They looked at each other for a few long moments. It was at if neither of them truly wanted to separate, but knew they had to. It was clear, though, that they’d just formed some kind of connection.

Y/N felt something strange—and wildly inappropriate—brewing in her chest. A certain kind of attraction toward the masked hero she’d never considered before. It appalled her, honestly. It wasn’t like she hated the guy, but she certainly didn’t like him. And she had no idea who he was. He could be eight years old, for all she knew.

With that realization, she turned on her heel and stalked down the narrow entrance to the Avengers Tower, her face still burning. She heard the thwip of Spider-Man’s webbing and knew he’d be gone if she looked back. So she didn’t.

She pressed her hand against the touchpad outside the front door and quickly slipped inside once it recognized her prints. She sighed heavily and let herself fall back against the door, the comfort of home enveloping her.

The peace was short lived, however, as she caught sight of her mother waiting expectantly behind the bar to her left. With a glass of red wine in hand, her knowing gaze shifted from the helipad outside to Y/N’s stiff frame.

She took a slow sip, eyes narrowing over the rim of the glass.

“You’re so grounded.”

———————————————————————

let me know what you think!! should I continue this series??

[multiverseforger]

Scorpion" is the alias of Hanzo Hasashi, formerly one of the finest warriors of the Japanese Shirai Ryu ninja clan,[2] until he was slain by Bi-Han, a member of the Lin Kuei (a rival clan of Chinese assassins) who worked under the name "Sub-Zero". Scorpion became a "hellspawn" revenant residing in Hell, later called the Netherrealm, who sought vengeance against those responsible for the destruction of his clan and the murder of his family, including his wife Harumi and his son Satoshi. Although essentially neutral in allegiance, Scorpion joins forces with anyone who can assist in his plans of revenge. He was once manipulated by the sorcerer Quan Chi, whom he promised his life to in exchange for his impressive kombat abilities in order to defeat Sub-Zero.[1]

In his initial backstory, displayed in the first game's (1992) attract mode, he is described as only having enmity towards Sub-Zero, which was attributed to rivalries between their opposing ninja clans. His ending revealed that he was actually an undead specter who had been killed by Sub-Zero and was survived by a wife and child.[3] This was further explored in a tie-in comic book written and illustrated by MK co-creator John Tobias and published by Midway. In a one-page scene, set aboard a junk en route to Mortal Kombat tournament host Shang Tsung's private island, Scorpion shocks Sub-Zero with his unexpected return exactly two years after his death, declaring that his "demons" had allowed him to return and avenge his demise.[4] After Shokan Prince Goro's defeat at the hands of eventual champion Liu Kang, Shang Tsung's army launched an attack, forcing Scorpion to team up with Sub-Zero, the thunder god Raiden, and other tournament survivors to hold them back before he killed his rival and disappeared.[4]

In Mortal Kombat II (1993), Scorpion discovers Sub-Zero has somehow returned, and planned to compete in the second Mortal Kombat tournament held in the otherworldly dimension of Outworld and hosted by the realm's emperor Shao Kahn. He tracks his nemesis down but notices, in the process, Sub-Zero sparing the life of an opponent in battle. Scorpion realizes that this is not Bi-Han, but instead his younger brother, Kuai Liang, who had taken on his brother's codename in his memory and was tasked with completing his failed mission of assassinating Shang Tsung. As a result, Scorpion vowed to serve as the new Sub-Zero's guardian in atonement for killing his older brother.[5]

In the 2005 beat 'em up spin-off Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks, set during the events of Mortal Kombat II, Scorpion is a boss character who attempts to kill the game's playable protagonists Liu Kang and Kung Lao. He appears in both masked and unmasked forms, with the latter being named "Inferno Scorpion". The planned co-op game, Mortal Kombat: Fire & Ice, which would have starred Scorpion and Sub-Zero as the protagonists, was canceled when Paradox Development, the developers of Shaolin Monks, "couldn't do it in time and under budget."[6]

Scorpion, along with all of the game's palette-swapped human ninja characters, was not playable in Mortal Kombat 3, but returned in the 1995 upgrade Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 when Shao Kahn tried to conquer the Netherrealm after his invasion of Earth, and enlisted the ninja in his forces. Scorpion's allegiance to the Kahn quickly dissolved when he discovers, in a continuance of his MKII storyline, that Sub-Zero was one of Earth's chosen warriors, with whom he sided in their final showdown with Shao Kahn.[1]

Quan Chi was officially introduced into Scorpion's rivalry with Sub-Zero in the main MK storyline, starting with Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero (1997). Scorpion is featured therein as an unplayable boss character, appearing twice throughout the game. Despite playing a minor role, his background was officially expanded in a feature on the game's official website, where his real name and that of his clan were revealed, while his yellow outfit was described as an apparent mockery of the Lin Kuei after former Lin Kuei member Takeda developed ninjutsu before leaving the clan and forming the rival Shirai Ryu.[2] Scorpion is enlisted by Quan Chi to find a map hidden in a Shaolin temple, a task the sorcerer also gave to Sub-Zero in order to engage the two rival ninjas in combat. If the player performs a killer move on Scorpion, he will reappear as another boss later in the game. In Mortal Kombat 4 (1997), Quan Chi tricked Scorpion into believing that Sub-Zero was involved in the deaths of his family and clan, resulting in the specter allying with him. In Scorpion's ending, he emerges victorious over Sub-Zero, but Quan Chi reveals his involvement in killing Scorpion's clan and family. When the sorcerer attempts to banish Scorpion, the latter grabs the former at the last minute, sending them both to the Netherrealm.[7] A variation of this ending was seen in Sub-Zero's conclusion, when Sub-Zero stands over a fallen Scorpion before being knocked down by Quan Chi, who again reveals his scheme and claims that both ninjas were pawns for the fallen Elder God Shinnok, which results in Scorpion killing Quan Chi and declaring Sub-Zero free of his curse.[8]

Scorpion's MK4 ending is carried over into Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance (2002), where he relentlessly hunts down Quan Chi, only to be attacked by the Oni Drahmin and Moloch, whom the sorcerer had hired as protection and to help free him from the Netherrealm. In his non-canonical ending, Scorpion is killed when Drahmin and Moloch hurl him into a Soulnado, a magical tornado consisting of tormented souls trapped between Earthrealm and Outworld. In Scorpion's biography in Mortal Kombat: Deception however, he is depicted as having escaped as well. He meets the Elder Gods, which, coupled with his witnessing Raiden's death and the emergence of Onaga, the Dragon King, causes him to accept a new role as the Elder Gods' servant while working to prevent Onaga's merging of the realms.

In the Konquest mode of Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (2006), Scorpion cuts a deal with the Elder Gods to serve them in exchange for the resurrection of the Shirai Ryu and his wife and son.[1] However, they resurrect them as undead beings. Enraged, Scorpion seeks to destroy the Elder Gods' chance of preventing Armageddon by taking the elemental Blaze's power, but the Edenian demigod Taven defeats him and he is later killed by Sub-Zero in a battle royal amongst the series characters in the game's opening sequence.[9]

In the 2011 Mortal Kombat reboot, an alternative-timeline retelling of the first three titles, Scorpion reprises his role from the first game in seeking vengeance against the elder Sub-Zero, Bi-Han. This time though, he serves Quan Chi from the start, unaware that the sorcerer is the mastermind behind the murder of his family and clan. Raiden, attempting to alter the timeline in hopes of averting Armageddon, talks Scorpion into sparing Sub-Zero's life in exchange for reviving the Shirai Ryu. Scorpion agrees, and when he defeats Sub-Zero in the Netherrealm, he refuses to kill him. However, Quan Chi convinces Scorpion otherwise by showing him a graphic vision of Sub-Zero murdering his wife and child. Despite Sub-Zero protests, Scorpion promptly incinerates him. He reappears on the tournament grounds holding Sub-Zero's skull and spinal column.[10] Later in the game, the younger Sub-Zero Kuai Liang seeks revenge for his brother's death by demanding a fight with Scorpion in Shao Kahn's arena, which Quan Chi grants. Scorpion immediately recognizes the new Sub-Zero as the original's younger brother, and while he is defeated, Kuai Liang is apprehended by his clan before he finish the revenant off.[11] Scorpion is last seen when he fights and loses to Raiden in the Netherrealm before disappearing.[12] In his non-canonical arcade ending, the Shirai Ryu appear before Scorpion as ghostly apparitions who reveal the truth about their murder and aid him in killing Quan Chi for his deception. In Sub-Zero's ending, he learns the truth about his and Scorpion's families and offers the specter a chance to join him in his quest for vengeance. Scorpion accepts, joining Sub-Zero to form their own Deadly Alliance.[13]

In Mortal Kombat X, which takes place two years after the previous game, Scorpion was sent to attack the Special Forces alongside a revenant version of Kuai Liang. Due to the efforts of Raiden and his allies however, they were restored to their human forms and freed from Quan Chi's control. Over the course of the following two decades, the newly restored Hanzo Hasashi reformed the Shirai Ryu, trained Kenshi's son Takeda Takahashi, and made amends with the young Sub-Zero after he revealed Quan Chi was responsible for the murder of his family and clan. When the Special Forces captured Quan Chi, a revenge-minded Hasashi subdued them and released the sorcerer so he could challenge him to a final fight before he killed him. Concurrently, Quan Chi's associate D'Vorah appeared so she could have the sorcerer free Shinnok from his amulet. Hasashi decapitated Quan Chi, but not before he could finish reciting a spell to successfully free the fallen Elder God, who immediately incapacitated everyone in the surrounding area.

In Mortal Kombat 11, Hasashi continues to lead the Shirai Ryu in protecting Earthrealm as its Grandmaster a further two years after MKX and Shinnok's defeat. When the keeper of time Kronika caused a time anomaly in an attempt to erase Raiden from history, she brought a past version of Scorpion to the present so she could recruit him to her fold with the promise of resurrecting his clan and family.[14] Meanwhile, Hasashi worked with Sub-Zero to foil Lin Kuei clansman turned cyber ninja Sektor and his plans to build a Cyber Lin Kuei army. They were successful, despite facing opposition from Bi-Han, who had been resurrected as the revenant Noob Saibot, and learning that Sektor played a role in murdering Hasashi's clan and family.[15] After Kronika's forces compromise or destroy most of their bases, Hasashi agrees to house his Earthrealm allies at the Shirai Ryu's Fire Gardens.[16] To help locate Kronika's Keep, Hasashi suggests forging an alliance with Kharon, a ferryman who transports unfortunate souls to the Netherrealm who he and Sub-Zero met while they were revenants.[17] He succeeds in recruiting Kharon and convincing his younger self to turn away from Kronika, but he is killed by D'Vorah. With his dying breath, he urges his younger self to abandon his pursuit of vengeance and defend Earthrealm. Scorpion keeps his word and joins the allied forces of Earthrealm and Outworld to stop Kronika.[18][19][20] In his non-canonical arcade ending, the younger Scorpion fails to keep his promise to his future self, and kills Kronika so he can restart history to ensure his loved ones' survival. When he discovers that otherworldly forces conspire to make sure the tragedy always repeats itself, he undergoes a quest for revenge against them.

[just-call-me-johnny-archive]

The following contains mentions/implications of abuse, attempted sexual harrassment, mentions/implications of past sexual abuse/assault, graphic depictions of homicide/torture, mentions/implications of past suicide attempts, implications of police/military violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Johnny didn't learn for a while what the house wanted from him. It was clear that it demanded something of him. The ceiling seemed too low, mold-ridden even if he couldn't see any. The floors were freezing- wooden and splintering, but he hadn't bled once despite getting some shards embedded painfully into his hands when he searched the ground for his pencils after the moon went down. 

Every number he called about the electricity going out lead to a dial tone. His phone was strangely the only electronic- the only appliance- that still worked in the house. He had no idea how much time had passed since he'd been left in the bathroom to die and woke up with stark scars on his forearms, the shower curtain draped over his body, and the bathtub dry as a bone. And Vargas gone. For good it seemed. 

He almost wanted to believe it was a nightmare- that it all was a nightmare. So he tried to pick his life back up as he stepped out of the bathtub and went to find clothes and the thermostat.

One day, he found a bill on the table in front of the TV. He couldn't remember when he'd received any mail recently- let alone opened it. Even stranger than the bill was the message that had been printed on it. There wasn't any amount under 'AMOUNT DUE.' The only other print on the paper was red text reading 'UTILITY SERVICE TERMINATED DUE TO NONPAYMENT. REMIT PAYMENT TO CONTINUE SERVICE.'

There wasn't an address or a phone number to contact regarding the bill. Johnny was left confused over how to alleviate this debt. He didn't know who, when, where, or what. The only thing that he still had control over was the 'how.' He needed a job. 

 After digging around for a week or so, Johnny managed to uncover his portfolio that he'd submitted copies of alongside Edgar. He was not about to go back there- they loved his boyfriend and always doubted Johnny's judgment. 

There was a new comic publishing company; a start-up with a promising, rich CEO that was recruiting new styles. Macabre. Gothic. Grotesque. Mindfuck. It was perfect for Johnny. 

He put on the best outfit from his closet, something with a blazer and no rips in the jeans. He'd done his hair until the two antennae that hung over his face were hidden amongst the rest of his combed blue hair. Johnny walked into the office feeling confident that his second chance at life had been a blessing or a reward for surviving. 

Everyone working at the company currently was skinny, wired, and brutal. Nobody seemed to actually be creating anything- instead, they were all busy working on photo manipulation and advertisements. There also seemed to be someone altering a passport photo meticulously. 

Johnny's meeting with the CEO started off alright enough. The man listened to the artist speak about his work and he even asked a few things here or there. He asked something about the paint choice and Johnny responded in a way that he hoped didn't sound too try hard but also genuine. In truth, Vargas didn't let him use anything else.

Maybe he could sense that. Maybe the man could tell that Johnny was an easy target. Maybe Johnny had painted 'patsy' on his forehead in asshole-vision invisible ink.

Whatever had caused the conversation to turn towards Johnny's personal life- particularly his relationship status- was unimportant. He wanted to leave, but he figured that the man would probably ask that for reference purposes or perhaps personally-identifying information. Johnny told the CEO that he was single, recently left a relationship with his ex-fiance. The way that the man reacted should have said enough to him, but he tried to reason with his brain; he was overreacting. 

But to put it crudely, the CEO wanted fresh meat and Johnny was a free-bleeding fresh cut. Eyes still clear. Silent like a fish out of water, when he moved over and started massaging Johnny's shoulders, saying how awful that must have been. That he was there for him. That he was recently divorced himself. He understood. 

Johnny felt his hand being moved, heard a zipper being pulled down, and when the CEO moved his mouth to press against his ear, all Johnny remembered was that he had the other man's letter opener embedded in the space directly below his eye socket. He registered the crack of bone giving under unforgiving metal. The burst of red sprayed across his face and his shirt. The screaming. His screaming. 

He was on his knees over the blubbering, defaced CEO shouting out as if he was emptying every last moment of anger or shame or hurt into the puncture marks that kept adding up. Johnny wasn't sure if he was crying or that his body was finally catching up- maybe he was having a heart attack. 

He has no idea how long he kneeled on the grimey black floor of the CEO's office before he realized that nobody was coming. Surely, someone must have heard them. Was the police waiting right outside the door- bullets trained on him- ready to shoot to kill? The man who was under Johnny's blade was miraculously still alive- dying- but still actually alive and he only then heard the tiny whimpers of 'please, don't kill me' 'I'll change.' 

Johnny grabbed the man's stripped, bloodied face, digging his fingernails into the wounds, and his heart sung with the screeches that rung throughout the office. There was nothing else there except for Johnny and the filth disguised as a human being. 

He listened to him plead, held his face in his hands as the man continues to plead pathetically. Johnny's heart nearly jumped this time when he claimed 'he'd change'.

"No; you won't." His voice was venomous, low and angry in a way that sounded calm. "You will never change. You know what happens when I give people like you the opportunity to change? Do you? They stop for a little while, sometimes days, sometimes decades, because they're so fucking scared for their life. For jail time, for repercussion, Hell maybe for the Devil himself coming to fuck them up the ass for what they've done. But when the Devil doesn't come, when the tabloids remain silent, when the name becomes deceased or missing or disappears completely, you go right back to what you'd been doing before. You put your fingers or your face or your dick wherever you want because you think you're untouchable. You think you are above the lives that you've ruined. You think that they deserve it- or maybe that you deserve it for being so good for so long, right? Well, guess what?" 

"You won't get to do that because I'm going to end your life right here, right now. I'm going to end whatever cycle of abuse that may or may have swept you up and corrupted you - brought you to believe you somehow are entitled to this pain that you inflict on others. And I'm going to enjoy it."

The man was able to only let out a sharp 'please, no' before Johnny grabbed his skull and twisted it until he heard a snap and the person below him had turned into a corpse. Into a past tense. 

He was coated in blood. 

Johnny dropped the body unceremoniously before he shakily got onto his feet. It was copious. It was gruesome. He threw up into a potted plant near the door. He gathered his portfolio into his arms and picked up his application from the CEO's desk. Johnny slipped the single piece of paper into the paper shredder, watching it turn into dozens of tiny bits of future bunny bedding.  

He braced himself before he stepped into the workplace. He expected a lot of things. He expected to see a huge stack of chairs and terrified workers huddled behind them like frightened raccoons. He expected SWAT, FBI, CSI, NCSI, the Navy, Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, and the Marines. He expected to have a bunch of horrified, traumatized faces staring back at him.

Instead, they looked annoyed. And the only people who were annoyed were the ones whose desks were closest to the CEO's office door. They glared at him, sneering like he was covered in shit and not in blood. Then they were completely disinterested. He was just some freak. They gossiped amongst themselves, but otherwise didn't approach Johnny. 

The man tore out of the comic publishing building and ran all the way home. It was midday- in the middle of December or January, where the sun was absent and the wind was unforgiving. Johnny had sweat through his stained clothing and the temperature change between the outside and the inside of his house was minute. The only shelter he had from the Winter chill was just covering from the elements.

Johnny walked into the bathroom and over to the bathtub and tossed the downed shower curtain out of the way. The water was freezing and felt like needles against even his clothed skin as he attempted to wash away the blood. It streamed down, staining the white porcelain as it streaked off of him and into the drain. 

The man had put his head against the tile, directly under the showerhead as he held himself. His eyes were shut tight, so it took him a moment of brief confusion before he opened his eyes to the bright lights of the bathroom and a gradually increasing warm shower. 

The water was perfect now and after getting past the initial shock, he undressed and continued to clean himself off the best he could. All that remained after he finished was the blood caked under his fingernails. He would cut them later. 

Johnny dried off using a somewhat warm, scruffy towel, it had been hanging there on the rack since he first awoke in the bathroom. He wrapped it around himself before he explored the rest of the house. It was warm, and the lights were all on. The electronics were all buzzing in a way they hadn't unless in memories. He opened the fridge and found that the food in there had not rotted. He picked out some lunch meat from a drawer and savored the usually incorrigible processed salty ham. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. Or the last time he slept. 

He needed clothes. He needed to get rid of the clothes at the bottom of his tub. Johnny went over to the bedroom where he hadn't tread since awakening. The light was on. The bed was still done but looked slept in. He went and grabbed the first shirt and pants and underwear that he found and then quickly went to clean up the mess in the bathroom.

He wrung the blazer out, pink-red water had poured and then streamed and then dribbled. He repeated this with the pants and then the shirt and his underwear and socks. His boots were not salvageable. That's fine. It was all fine. 

At least for now he did not have to immediately worry about paying the bill. In fact, the house felt warmer when he returned inside after he buried the clothes under the dirt of his dead front lawn. Johnny found a new paper attached to his freezer. He figured he'd missed it when he first went for the ham. 

He took it down after he grabbed a bag of microwavable pizza pocket bites. Johnny didn't know what it meant and how it happened, but he didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was given another chance for a reason. He gnawed at his fingernails as he watched the plate spin in the microwave and the house hummed with life as it was finally fed.

'PAYMENT RECEIVED. 

UTILITY SERVICE WILL RESUME AS NORMAL. 

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 

THANK YOU.' 

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

An older ask had asked you how you would rewrite return to zombie island. How would you rewrite scoob?

Oh I’ve already put some thought into this while I was actually watching the movie simply because I was thirty minutes in and didn’t see it getting better.

The first change I would make is that I would get rid of the whole beginning scenes with them as kids. We didn’t need it and it literally added nothing to the story. You can convince your audience that the characters are close without needing to completely illustrate why.

I would definitely open the film up with them probably in mid-chase at the climax of a mystery because that’s just how you need to open up a Scooby movie. Right from the beginning this is where I would introduce the character conflict. Maybe after they’ve caught the guy and the police are commending them they wouldn’t really have anything to say to Shag and Scoob (who are probably disheveled and starving from running for their lives once again). Shaggy and Scooby have never felt bad about being cowards so I doubt this would really hurt them that much (maybe annoy them at the most). But it identifies where the story is going to focus.

We’d then move into some transitional scenes where you can watch how the gang’s dynamic works and this is where you sell their friendship. This ain’t just a Scooby and Shaggy movie, this is a whole gang movie (the central conflict just stems from Shaggy feeling under appreciated). So their relationships are an important part of getting the audience to care what happens. I would say you subtly show how Shaggy might break up little arguments or remind them to eat. Nothing in your face, more or less it would be weaved in with the gang’s standard banter.

Then we’d get to the gang talking about turning MI into a legitimate business by finding investors and stuff. I think this would be a good opportunity for a montage scene where we get to see a lot of other Scooby/HB characters without it taking too much out of the story (this is where I would show the Blue Falcon and Dyno Mutt). All of them seem to reject the proposition though. I didn’t have major issues with Simon Cowell because random celebrity cameos have always been a Scooby thing but I mean.... Why Simon Cowell of all people? I feel like there are way more suitable celebs to choose from. I feel like it would be funny if they brought in one of the actors from the 2002 live action film (playing themselves) and everyone is just like: “Who the heck is this?” And then Shaggy (who always knows who everyone is) just goes: “Um??? You uncultured swine??? That is obviously Linda Cardellini!” And then she’s the one who is finally willing to invest but says she’ll only do it if Shag is out (Scooby can stay because animal mascots are in and it doesn’t get anymore in than a talking Great Dane).

And the gang gets all offended at this and Linda (it doesn’t have to be Linda but for all intents and purposes I’m just saying it is) will just be like, “Fine, I’ll give you my money if you can tell me what he does for you. For your team.” 

And they’ll all stay silent, trying to think of something and that’s when Shaggy finally takes it personally. It’s one thing to be judged by people he hardly knows. But for his best friends to be given like the easiest ultimatum and they can’t even deliver on it? He wonders if he’s being taken for granted. He decides he is and explodes. Shaggy never explodes so it freaks the gang out.

I think he’d call them out for not considering his constant submission into being the bait as a contribution - despite the fact that he always states that he’ll never do it again. But of course they wouldn’t count that because they’re always too focused in on the details to miss the big picture in front of them. Because, ultimately, that is what Shag adds to the team. Daphne, Fred, and Velma tend to get so wrapped up in the small factors that they sometimes miss the obvious. And that’s when Shaggy will point out the big thing that they’re missing. Shag has always been big picture over nuts and bolts so of course he’s the one to bring up the primary detail missed. This has been an element in almost every single show so I feel like it’s funny that it’s never been spelled out.

Velma is a little hot-head who doesn’t love being demoralized by anyone so she might say something uncalled for and that’s when Shaggy walks out and Scoob follows suit. That’s a pretty major conflict to take up the runtime so there you go. 

Shag and Scoob being pissed at the gang makes a little more sense now and can be further elaborated and expand into Shag’s self-confidence issues. It’s at this point that the two of them can get kidnapped by an unrevealed villain because why the heck would I take the mystery out of it? 

It wouldn’t be by a group of semi-sentient robots because this the 70′s or 80′s and technology wouldn’t be that advanced. Instead, I’d shoot for classic, masked henchmen (maybe disguised as horrifying Greek gods or something) who swipe Shag and Scoob from the bowling alley without even giving them a chance at a comedic chase scene because the audience is supposed to feel unnerved.

We’d cut back to the gang, 1/3 of them a little steamed and the majority feeling bad for selling their best friend short. It’s revealed that they didn’t take the investment offer because there’s no way they would further exclude Shaggy from anything. They decide that they should let everyone cool down before they go and talk things out and while that’s happening Daphne is trying put together a list of all the things Shag and Scoob add to the team. She gets even more upset with herself because this is their best friend and this shouldn’t be that hard. 

In the background, Fred and Velma start arguing and it would act as a kind of callback to the beginning where we see Shag break up their bickering. But since he’s not here the fight begins to escalate and it’s only when they start yelling that Daphne comes between them. Then her face lights up and she gingerly adds that to the list. 

As the movies cuts back and forth between Shag and Scoob’s perspective and the gang’s perspective the list gets longer.

Speaking of, Shag and Scoob are being kept prisoner at the abandoned carnival because that’s always an interesting set-piece that just so happened to be totally pointless in the actual movie. At some point the two of them are split up and this is when it’s hinted that the kidnappers where originally aiming for just Scooby but Shag was also there so they just rolled with it. But because Shaggy isn’t important to them, nobody is really guarding him anymore (they were originally guarding him because Scooby was with him). 

Scooby being taken is the motivation he needs to try and escape and save his dog (in his head he’s pretty sure these whackos are gonna freaking sacrifice his dog to the powerful god of all things creepy). His escape attempts would be interspersed between scenes of the gang looking for him, and Scooby being intimidated by the masked big bad (who is of course explaining the plan in great detail). The gang’s hunt for their guys would be a lot more difficult since they can’t just Life 360 up where he is. It would rely more on visual clues, eyewitness testimonies and choppy security footage, which is overall more engaging and gives the gang an actual thing to do.

While Shaggy is formulating an escape he’s able to pick up bits and pieces of what the crazy people want to do with Scooby and this acts as him getting closer to finishing a puzzle. But he doesn’t analyze the puzzle pieces he gets and tries to guess what the puzzle will look like, that’s not his area or his goal at the moment.

In a big triumphant moment, Shaggy escaping and the gang figuring out where he is happen at the same time. This gets the spirits high before things go wrong again.

And when I say wrong - I mean the gang get capture by the villain. Shaggy isn’t aware of this as he’s sneaking around the carnival grounds trying to figure out where someone would keep the actually important prisoner. I feel like a comically large circus tent would be a cool location for the climax of a movie Scooby’s probably in there. But when Shag gets there he’s quick to hide (like under the seats or something) and this is how he’s able to finally see the whole puzzle put together.

The gang escapes rather quickly because say what you will about Danger Prone Daphne but she’s just as good at getting out of tough situations as she is at getting into them. And so begins the epic journey to find their boys (they escape and Velma just instantly goes, “It’s obviously the huge circus tent.”). And at this point it’s like a One Piece arc and all you want is the whole gang to be reunited again. But first we need a fun scene of the VFD trio trying to evade the henchmen to like a Smash Mouth song or something because remember this is Scooby-Doo.

Shaggy realizes he has to do something fast otherwise his dog is going to be used to open the Underworld. He runs out of the shadows without any real plan with just the goal of taking down the bad guy. But he doesn’t get there in time and the whole tent like erupts into green and blue flames as Cerberus stomps out of the gates and Shaggy is just frozen in place. The masked guy seems a tad surprised to run into Cerberus so fast but is quick to gain control of the beast. He orders the monster to start wreaking havoc on a nearby town something, he doesn’t care so long as he can enter the Underworld without distraction.

But before he can do that, he gets jumped by Shaggy who’s really only trying to keep him pinned down while he comes up with a step two. But Mr. Mask has some fight in him so it becomes this epic struggle between Shaggy, Scooby, and the bad guy while the place is still on fire and we have an epic orchestral score playing in the background.

Right when it seems like the villain has the upper hand, Daphne comes in and like roundhouse kicks him in the head, and he’s out cold. And before Shag and Scoob can react they’re dogpiled by the other three and it’s very heartwarming.

Fred eagerly ties the perp up and then we get our unmasking and it’s Scrappy-Doo!!! Just kidding that’d be stupid. I’m really not sure who would be the best surprise villain but if anyone has a good idea for one please let me know!

When the bad guy comes to, Velma starts shaking him to tell them how to get Cerberus back into the Underworld and how to close the gate. He reveals that all you need to do is whistle and he’ll go home (Cerberus is Hades’ domesticated puppy so obvi that would work). Maybe we get a gag where someone tries to whistle but it’s too hot in the tent for it to work and they’re like: “Does anyone have like some water?” And then Shaggy just rolls his eyes and whistles and boom, big angry puppy comes home. 

Daphne smiles and says, “I’m gonna have to add that to the list.” And Shag is like, “Like, the list of what?” And she explains that the gang has been putting together a list of all the things he brings to the team and it makes him happy that they’re putting in the effort.

We cut back to Velma torturing the info out of our mask on how to close the gates and he just evilly laughs and only a dog or dog’s best friend can close the gate. But, unfortunately, the gate will take them back down to the Underworld. The gang just sits in shock because there is no better option there.

But without missing a beat, Scooby decides he’s gonna do it and runs for the lock. He’s about to put his paw on the thingy when Shaggy beats him to it and nobody even gets a second to process before he’s sucked in and the gate vanishes.

The whole gang run to the spot where the gate used to be and Daphne falls to her knees crying, Scooby is digging at the ground trying to get to the gate and Fred has to get him to stop.

“I never even got to give him the list...” And Daph pulls it out and just drops it on the ground. Velma is on the verge of tears as she adds, “I still owe him an apology. I owe him a lot of apologies...” And as Fred is comforting Scooby he says, “We all do...” The scene ends with the gang all hugging Scooby and the list bursts into flames and disappears.

Then we cut to Shag in the Underworld and he’s just leaning against the gate and crying because what else is he gonna do? “At least I was finally useful to them...” He thinks and slowly begins to walk around and is surprised to see that the Underworld is prettier than he expected. 

“Thank my wife. She’s always looking for ways to brighten this place up so I don’t feel so miserable when she’s gone. “

Shag screams bloody murder and jumps like a ten feet before turning around and seeing a dude in a chiton. Surprise surprise, it’s Hades (Who can also be a celebrity cameo whatever). We get some nice banter before Hades holds up something and asks, “Is this yours?” 

Shaggy looks down and sees that it’s a piece of paper, he shakes his head.

“Really? Because it mentions you an awful lot.”

Evidently it got snagged on the way down and ended up in Hades’ lap - he’s certain he wouldn’t have even noticed that Shaggy was there if it weren’t for that. And then Shag’s face lights up and he realizes it must be the list, as he reads it we cut to all of the times Daphne thought to write these down on their trip. Finally he believes that he’s useful to the team, that he is a valuable part of the gang. 

Hades looks at him and just says, “How do they survive without you?” 

And Shag just shrugs and goes, “Believe me, like, I have no idea.”

Hades smiles and replies, “Then you best not keep them waiting.” Before snapping his fingers and poofing Shaggy back home.

When he gets there, the gang are slowly making their way out of the tent so they don’t see him. So Shag takes the opportunity to say, “I read y’all’s list.” And everyone instantly makes a 180 turn with their eyes super wide and he continues, “You know I think you missed a few but it’s the thought that counts.” And then we get dogpile number two of the movie.

The final scene is the gang opening up Mystery Inc. and them asking Shag where the entertainment is and he’s just like, “I asked our surprise investors to put something together for us...” And then we get the Hex Girls performance we deserve and I can totally buy them investing in Mystery Inc. because they freaking love Shaggy and Scooby so.

We get an ending shot of the gang going off to solve their first monetized mystery (we could have like a soft instrumental version of the first theme song playing) and then we fade to the end credits where we get the What’s New Scooby-Doo theme.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Top 10 Recommended Carnage Stories (pre-Absolute Carnage)

In honour of Absolute Carnage’s beginning I present you with the best Carnage stories if you want to get into and have fun with the character.

My picks here are intentionally excluding anything from Donny Cates’ era partially because his work isn’t finished yet and partially because my hope is this list will act as a primer for people who want to test the waters with Carnage and see if Cates’ current work is worth their time.

This list isn’t ranked at all and nor is it a list of stories that are essential to understanding Carnage’s broad chronology. Like if you read these on their own there will be gaps that will make you wonder how we got from A to B.

Rather this list is intended to give you a general idea of who Carnage is, the types of stories he has or can be used in and what are among the best stories from the character’s POV.

1.       Carnage Origin (ASM #344-345, 359-363)

There are some writing issues with this arc in relation to the F4’s use in the story. However if you put that aside and just focus strictly upon Carnage himself, in many ways this first Carnage story gives you everything you need to know about the character.

We learn most of Cletus Kasady’s backstory, where his symbiote came from, his general philosophy towards life and the dramatic hook he presents as an antagonist.

That is to say what is someone was an unrepentant psychopath...and then  got superpowers. Specifically the same powers as Spider-Man’s then most physically intimidating and scariest enemy...but taken up to 11.

Are there deep psychological layers to Carnage?

Absolutely not.

But that is very much the point.

He’s chaos and death wrapped in black and blood and complete with Freddy Krueger humour and a taste for Metalhead anarchy.

The art is simply stunning, the action is top notch, Carnage’s various abilities and ferocity is expertly sold to readers and just to hammer the seriousness of the situation home, Spidey needs backup from his most dangerous enemy to even hope to bring down Kasady.

So whilst unfortunately not perfect, it is a perfect introduction to the character.

Honourable Mention: Maximum Carnage

I do not recommend you read this if you are new to Carnage, Spider-Man or comics in general. Maximum Carnage is enjoyable to certain fans but for most is something of an endurance test.

However it must be mentioned as it is undoubtedly Carnage’s most famous story. It doesn’t really give us anything new for his character beyond introducing his on and off again girlfriend Shriek and his ‘kids’ Doppelganger, Carrion, Demogoblin, etc. These characters intermittently show up in Carnage’s lore.

The whole story is a series of repetitive action set pieces...for 14 issues!

If you aren’t brave enough to check this out then perhaps consider reading synopses of it or watching recap videos online (RNS does a good one), just so you know the broadstrokes of the story as it is relevant to future Carnage history and Absolute Carnage is it’s spiritual successor.

2.       The Mortal Past (ASM Annual 1994)

Arguably the best written Carnage story within the pages of Spider-Man.

The art is very reminiscent of Mark Bagley, co-creator of Carnage, so visually Carnage looks and ‘moves’ in character.

However the general story, whilst not redeeming Carnage at all, does give us a little more about his past and explores his philosophy from a different angle.

What helps this story is that while it is a Carnage story, the emotional weight of the story is carried by his former childhood friend, allowing for Carnage to neither sell out on his core concept of being a simple killing machine, but also giving the readers something to connect to beyond Spidey and Carnage fighting.

3.       Carnage: Mind Bomb #1

Many Carnage fanatics argue this obscure one shot is Carnage’s ‘Killing Joke’. In a sense they are right as this story is the deepest exploration of who Kasady is and why he is the way he is.

We learn little about his past (beyond a few more early warning signs from his childhood) but this is Warren Ellis’ point. The story is oddly meta as it presents us with a psychiatrist who is looking to unravel the layers of Kasady’s mind, only to learn there really aren’t any.

He is simple. That is the point. He simply sees society and life as a joke, a big lie and that savagery lies beneath the surface. He illustrates this by driving his doctor utterly mad.

This story works because though it takes place in a superhero universe and features a super villain, there is no hero here. There are barely any good guys to speak of.

Rather this issue is in effect a horror comic, the first time Carnage was ever used in this way. This is reflected in the art work, which is definitely R-rated and depicts Carnage very differently. He’s essentially solid red and leaner, more skeletal even.

A good way to look at this story is as “What if Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees sat down and explained to you why they kill people’

Gory and not for the faint of heart, but this issue is the best story you will ever read that spells out for you who Carnage is and why, from his POV, he does what he does.

4.       Web of Carnage (Sen #3, ASM #410, No Adj #67, Spec #233)

Carnage appeared a few times in the Clone Saga but this is his best outing. In general this is one of the more fun and enjoyable Clone Saga/Ben Reilly stories. But as a Carnage story it’s unique as it focuses much more upon the symbiote than Kasady.

The premise is simple yet effective. The Carnage symbiote bonds to Spider-Man/Ben Reilly and he must resist it’s attempts to control him or tempt him to violence, which includes urging him to murder Peter Parker!

The meat of the story is in parts 3-4 when we see Ben’s internal struggle against the symbiote. Visually, the art is not consistent because of different artists, but they are all decent-great and the design for Spider-Carnage is so iconic it was adopted for the finale of the Spider-Man 1994 cartoon series.

A simple yet fun story!

5.       Carnage: It’s a Wonderful Life #1

I recommend this tentatively.

This is because it technically speaking covers much the same ground as Mind Bomb but isn’t as good. I suppose if you read this first you wouldn’t get that impression.

Nevertheless, It’s a Wonderful Life is an even longer and more literal look inside Carnage’s head. Psychedelic, twisted, macabre and full of dark humour the story just about pulls off it’s horror premise. It feels like something out of a 1990s Dark Horse comic.

The one thing that this issue has over Mind Bomb is that it makes an astute observation about Carnage’s core philosophy I don’t dare spoil.

Honourable Mention: Venom vs. Carnage #1-4

This story is in general pretty fun but doesn’t give you much of anything new for Carnage beyond him teaming up with Venom and the introduction of his spwan Toxin, who is a pretty cool character in his own right.

More significantly it was the first major time Clayton Crain drew symbiotes and he’d go on to have one of the most memorable visual takes on them ever.

6.       Family Feud  (Carnage #1-5, by Zeb Wells)

I’m not fond of most of Wells work and have issues with this era for Spider-Man. But when looked at as a Carnage story first and foremost, this series marks an important point in the character’s history.

At the time Venom had transitioned into a more heroic figure meaning Carnage, much as he was back when he was created, was pushed as the face of evil symbiotes within the Marvel universe. To that end he began to have a string of his own mini-series just like Venom had in the 1990s.

In many ways this mini-series is playing cleanup, returning the Carnage symbiote and Kasady to Earth after their presumed death in New Avengers #1. The series however also seeks to build a foundation from which future stories can be told and to that end reintroduces Shriek and Doppelganger too, sets up Carnage’s daughter Scorn.

It does all this pretty effectively to my recollection and has great art by Crain to sell everything.

7.       Carnage U.S.A. #1-5

Zeb Wells in this story tells a story that could have been an event crossover but mercifully was not.

He and Crain return to deliver arguably the most ambitious Carnage story up until then, involving him infecting a whole town with his symbiote.

This again feels very much like a Dark Horse horror comic at times but still contains superhero elements and tones a plenty, finding a decent balance between the two.

Wells continues to world build by reintroducing many of the other Venom spawns (Carnage’s ‘siblings’) and uses them to great effect along with Agent Venom Flash Thompson who meets Carnage for the first time in this story.

Carnage himself is just very on point with his twisted plan and machinations, with this tale being among his more memorable villainous feats.

8.       Deadpool vs. Carnage #1-4

Have you ever seen a Road Runner cartoon? Have you ever seen parodies of Road Runner cartoons by late night animated shows where they use dark humour to make the antics more bloody and violent?

That is essentially what this mini-series is. It’s two wisecracking, red and black clad over the top characters going at it in wacky and violent shenanigans.

However there is also poignantly some stuff in the story that even makes Carnage question his life philosophy in one of the most oddly clever takedowns of his character ever.

9.       AXIS: Carnage #1-3

This story has it’s issues, in particular with who it’s villain is, but that’s more a problem for Spidey and Venom history.

As for Carnage himself this story comes recommended for it’s sheer novelty.

It’s Carnage...but as a...good guy?

The premise of the AXIS event was that certain heroes and villains were ‘inverted’ so that they went from good to bad and vice versa.

The wrinkle in this though is that Kasady is still Kasady. He’s still violent, insane, wisecracking and has a warped sense of morality, it’s just that now he finally has  a sense of morality. He is sincerely trying to do good he’s just not all that aware his methods are somewhat counterproductive and extreme.

10.   The One That Got Away, World Tour, What Dwells Beneath, (Carnage #1-16 by Gerry Conway)

Mind Bomb and It’s a Wonderful life were the first Carnage comics to embrace the use of the character for horror, but Conway’s Carnage picked the ball and ran with it.

Conway said he was in essence doing Tomb of Dracula with Carnage and it shows.

The series revolves around Carnage but the real main characters are the anti-Carnage taskforce assembled to put him down, giving us grounded relatable characters to connect to whilst we follow Carnage’s slaughter. There is a surprising swerve in the story where the story goes from a simple slasher movie style horror into full on Lovecraftian style horror which propels the consequent arcs of the series. The ending is rather rushed and weak I must admit, but the ride getting there is arguably the best crafted Carnage story ever.

[josephmyplace]

ART EVALUATION - MULTIVERSE ASSIGNMENT

themes of the assignment

The multiverse assignment took us through a variety of artistic styles, drawing, printmaking, typography and collage, but there was also a narrative element introduced through the penguin book, we were tasked several times to draw inspiration from narrative elements from the book, or to depict scenes from it, this I felt was similar to fine art, however while on the computers we worked on 'postcards' (personally though I always felt their purpose was more like covers for our books), which again had inspiration taken from the book, this reminded me of graphic design; we were attempting to express a product through a visual means.

the three ‘postcards’ that had text added to them, overall i find that the first one below is my favorite, the central image i feel is a strongly emotive one, figures shrouded in darkness, almost in solidarity over some tragedy, which is why i annotated it “a reminder of better days”, as a reference to how i felt the image was tragic. 

this image i annotated it with words associated with god, the drawing i used because i wanted it to resemble an old medieval representation of an angel, which i feels far more visually interesting, and below it is the shattered sky and broken buildings, riven by strange flames, all part of the ‘wrath’ and ‘profound fear’.

here was see the hand receiving what should cause ‘the rapture’ i used the sun as the object because i felt as though the sun’s connection to the heavens, and it being unreachable was going to add to the piece. i also inverted the colours of each of the annotations, to draw contrast between the statements.  

This all being said I'm confused over how the multiverse plays into this, the assignment was about creating art based around a narrative, not around other universes.

Two artists I felt influenced the art I made during the assignment were Brooks salzwedel and pokras lampras, Brooks' art I have already examined, still,  he depicts floating land masses, and strange forested scenes obscured by mist, while pokras lampras is an asemic writing artist, his particular

Brooks salzwedel

style was structured and merged aspects of Cyrillic, English, Greek and Arabic creating an interesting visual style.

Pokras lampras

What did we learn in lesson

This assignment did not focus on new artisic methods (in comparison to the last unit we learnt screenrinting, intaglio, chalk, graphite etc.) but rather ways to express ideas through it, in this case through the aforementioned narrative.

Animation:

animation is relatively simple, animations are composed of several frames, then the amount of frames per second will determine how the animation plays put, generally the higher frame rates are used for smoother, more high effort animations, 24 fps (Frames Per Second) is industry standard.

In a programme the last frame can be viewed to better let the animator decide where they want to go with the animation.

Light box art:

our light box art used tracing paper, each piece of paper was drawn on, the penned, the most 'misted' paper would be at the back, giving an impression of dictance, the paper in fromt would similarly appear closer to the veiwer.

Though as for what we used, screen printing, digital, painting, drawing were all used, of note was the continued use of animations in digital atr.

the use of light boxe was interesting particularly the use of layered tracing paper to create a obfuscated image, though I personally wonder how I could use them in my own art.

Out of lesson

digital art became my focus, I've found my transition from traditional methods difficult, lines are less stable, and dealing with  confusing interfaces has proven itself difficult.

The quality of my artwork has been reduced as a result, but this is expected when moving to a new, unfamiliar medium.

Though digital art has allowed me to use colours freely, which again is difficult, as I never developed any real sense over how to use colours using traditional drawing methods.

Inspiration

Additionally I asked each individual artist the same three questions about their work, which were

what is your source of inspiration? (meaning what initially inspired you and what continues to)

how did you start? (what did you draw initailly, when?)

what processes and materials do you use?

void_illustration - Richard Saunders Illustration

Richards art either is obviously biological, where a creature is depicted, or has a distinctly biological edge to it, metals seem to bend,twist and stretch like flesh, nothing seems to be truly just a machine or device, rather every ridge, bulge and groove hints at a more organic truth to his figures and objects.

1. im inspired by so many things, its good to pull from a wide range of inspirations.

2. Ive been drawing for a long time, im not professional but im hoping to change that, most of my work forms into narrative universes and then develops on from there.

3. For materials I use a range. My 'bio warrior' series is mainly pencil sketches with marker colours and white paint pen highlights. My brown paper dragons are watercolour on strathmore toned tan paper, lined digitally, though I will layer them up further with paint and markers.

Fuelstains - Nikolay Georgiev

His work similarly to Richard's trends to directly be a creature or rather, monster, these organism often have strongly textured skin, often appearing to have many grooves, showing the musculature underneath, then there are his mechanical pieces, either directly depicting a machine of some kind, such as a robot, or depicting a human who has been massively altered by technological augmentations.

1.I was initially inspired by comics, as a kid, stuff like spiderman, bat man and transformers, but later on it could be anything that inspires me.

2.I started in primary school and it was mostly superheros or stuff from movies.

3.Pencil, ink fineliner, brushpen, watercolour, ballpoint pen, digital.

Milesr.art – Miles R art

miles' art focuses on creature drawings, particularly drawings of alien life, creating some truly bizarrely fascinating, most bearing little resemblance to earth organisms, if any. Another aspect of Miles' work that I appreciate is that it seems grounded, the animals, in spite of their bizzarreness still seem like they could exist.

1.some of my biggest sources of inspiration:

- C.M koseman, Brynn metheny, and dougal dixon are some of my most inspiring artists

-just thinking about the natural world in general like on our planet

2.what initially inspired me to draw and that goes into number 2) in kindergarten I saw some kid drawing a honey comb pattern with neon markers and was like huh okay im going to do that but better.

And I always drew monsters and characters, always becoming more based on science overtime, and here I am now.

3.Now I exclusively  make finished things digitally with my ipad pro and apple pencil using procreate, but I often make sketches on post it notes with just regular pencil. In terms of processes I feel like I just do what I do it, its hard to define ones process.

[writing-with-olive]

Hi! What's been your biggest inspiration while writing your WIP(s)? Has the idea changed at all since you first began? If so, how?? And what part are you most proud of?

Thanks for the ask!

So my main WIP, Toxin, has been a long journey so far. It’s been a story I’ve wanted to tell for a long time now, and it’s been through several itterations. 

The first several, I don’t really remember super well as they never got past a few thousand words, were about training combatively - the premise was always different, and there was never a fleshed out reason about why they were training, but it was a start.

The first attempt (that I’ll count) was a WIP that I called Spy Story (yeah real original). It was really very rough, and that was back when I was in seventh grade and still thought of myself as a pantser - as it turns out I’m not, and it shows. Spy Story was set in a different world, and my main character was a part of a far larger organization than Toxin; though it was still based in the government. In Spy Story, there were two countries actively at war with eachother and my mc was in the thick of all of it. 

After deciding that I didn’t like where the story was or where it was headed (and because I had no concept of worldbuilding), I started another one - Little Assassin - which was similar to Toxin, but a slightly different premise and different characters. Like Toxin and unlike Spy Story, this was set in dystopian America. Again, the organization was bigger, though my mc, then named Kaila, didn’t know the full extent of it. It was also set more in Nabraska, way out of the way where no one would think to look for a top secret military operation. I was still missing big elements of the story, and after the first 2,000 words or so, that became a big problem, and I decided to try again.

Toxin - where I am now, and where I will probably stay (more or less - we’ll see how edits change things) is probably the most grounded story - I’ve got a much better sense of the characters, and also the premise of the story is different: rather than two countries being at war with one another and my main character - Zia - being in the thick of all of that, it’s more about the characters learning to fight in order to help within the country. There’s a much stronger sense of worldbuilding and character.

So I guess it’s changed from being a big organization actively at war, to a much smaller one that trains girls as combatants, but to help inside the country.

Some inspiration for this story was Black Widow’s story (Marvel Comics), Sarah J. Maas, Rick Riordan, and probably a little stuff from DC Comics (Only a little as I’m not super familiar with dc comics the way I am with marvel). And the hunger games and divergent. Lots of YA influence.

As for what I’m most proud of? Honestly probably the worldbuilding. I think that I’ve grown so much as a writer, and what would have been impossible when I started writing is now quite feasable. I think also having a finished first draft of Toxin; it’s been such a long journey even getting this far, and now that I’ve reached that milestone, I’m excited and very proud.

Again, thank you so much for the ask!

[curlswithcreativity]

Spidey Senses - Peter Parker x Reader

Prompt: What happens with Peter’s Spidey Senses when you take him to a theme park? Courtesy of @trewestriandta

A/N: So this could be good, but I just finished reading some of my old fics and I cringed so hard that I broke my processing unit.

I HATE ROLLERCOASTERS WITH A FIERY PASSION. Also shout-out to my local amusement park, Wonderland, you a real one. And fuck Canadian Geese they are Devil spawn ™ 

Marvel Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

__

“Come on, Peter, I want to go on the Leviathan.” From your position in the middle of the pavilion, you were steps away from the line for the most popular attraction at the park and you were desperate to finally go on. Children yelled as they raced past you to get to the next stop on their trip, and you felt your own excitement bubbling up as the entrance drew closer.

You yanked at the hand intertwined with yours but were met with a sturdy resistance; upon turning back to determine the hold up, you noticed Peter’s body was taut as he stared up at the frighteningly large roller coaster, his jaw clenched tightly as he grasped your hand. You studied your friend with curiosity. “Peter?”

“Nope. No way. Nuh uh.”

You groaned as you pulled at his arm harder. "Pete... Don't be a baby. You said you would go on it with me when we were on the bus over."

"That was before I saw it. There's no way that thing is safe..."

Peter had always been anxious, but following his encounter (as you had taken to calling it) it was almost impossible to do anything with him that didn't set off his Spidey Senses. In an attempt to vary your advancement methods, you moved behind your companion to place two hands firmly on his back and give him a hefty push. It was useless. He turned around to face you and shook his head tight-lipped as you glowered.  

You eyed his feet wearily before hissing out, "Peter Benjamin Parker, if you are using your... your talents to prevent me from pushing you right now—" Suddenly, you stumbled forward as he took a step to the side. You may not have had superhero reflexes, but your instincts still worked well enough for you to catch yourself before you took a nasty spill. Peter ignored your irritation as he continued to shake his head, and tried to back away from the growing line.

 "I have a bad feeling about this, Y/N. I'm serious. Why don't we just head back to the food court? We could grab some funnel cake... you love funnel cake! And then we could go on those tea cups again; that was awesome, right?" He was rambling in his endeavour to convince you, throwing ideas forward that he thought you would find more appealing than traveling several hundred feet into the air before being catapulted forward at almost 100 mph. But he would have no success.

 "PETER." You shouted, stomping your foot despite yourself; you knew you were acting childishly and that irritated you, but the bus ride had been long and he had sworn up and down that he would ride with you-- you had been talking about this ride for months and you weren't going to turn back now that you'd paid the admission fee. “We. Are. Going.”

The young hero had known you long enough to know that there was no way for him to get out of this, and his groans followed you as you finally managed to drag him towards the attraction. Despite physically going along with your plans, he complained the whole way through the 45-minute line and all the way up to the point where you were finally secured in your seats.

"We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die. This is bad, this is really, really not good." Peter mumbled under his breath feverishly as the attendant shot him a concerned look; you waved the worker’s worries away as you raised your arms for him to check your seat belt was properly secured.

 "He's fine. Just a little nervous." You explained as you gestured towards Peter, whose hands were now clutching tightly at his face as his ramblings continued. The attendant shrugged and continued his way down the platform to finish his checks before making his way back to the control panel. You twisted as much as you could given your restraints, sliding your fingers under Peter's hand and pulling them away from his cheeks to hold tightly in yours.

 His eyes were full of concern as he focused on you, and you did your best to reassure him. "It's fine, Peter. I promise. It's going to be fine. It’s just a little anxiety! People get anxious for lots of reasons!" You spoke in dulcet tones, as if soothing a frightened baby bird. You could tell he didn't quite believe you, but he humoured you nonetheless, nodding as the ride jolted to a start. His breath hitched and he clutched your fingers forcefully as you turned forward to sit properly in your spot.

 *

Things went as well as they could for a rollercoaster, and you were in your element. You loved the sudden drops and lurches, excited screams being pulled from your lips as you rounded tight corners and swooped into tunnels. Peter let out several yelps but remained a fair bit calmer than you had expected him to.

 On the second to last descent, however, there was a terrible screech of metal against metal amongst your screams. Suddenly, you stopped; the car was suspended, what felt like quite precariously, on the tracks with your body parallel to the ground. The passengers on the ride exchanged worried gasps and frightened looks as they waited for an explanation as to why they were currently frozen at a 90-degree angle while strapped to a metal train several hundred feet in the air. Peter’s response was almost instantaneous.

 "WHAT DID I SAY, Y/N, WHAT DID I SAY?!" Although the forces of gravity had pulled his hair down rather comically into his eyes, you bit the inside of your cheek to maintain your serious façade as Peter screeched. “I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!”

His rant was cut short by the overhead speaker crackling on, a chipper voice speaking in a stark contrast to Peter’s frustration.

 "Sorry, folks! We had it radioed in that a little ol’ family of geese has managed to get past the protective fence around the ride and make it onto the track! We've got people coming right now to get the little guys out of the way, and we should have you continuing on in just a few seconds. Again, sorry for the inconvenience!”

 You hung there for a few moments in silence, trying to avoid the angry glares of your seatmate. “Just go on the ride, you said! It’ll be FINE, you said!” Peter’s voice was strained, the weight of his body being pushed against the seatbelt and safety bar.

It was 20 minutes before the ride’s tracks began to move again, this time at an agonizingly slow crawl; he turned to you slowly, his expression a mix of contempt and triumph. Rolling your eyes, you shrugged with a painful sigh. “Okay. You were right.”

Peter smirked as the ride began to increase in speed and opened his mouth to reply just as a large bug sailed into it. His eyes flew open wide as he choked, and the surprised laugh you let out seemed to startle him further. He swallowed roughly with a throat-clearing cough, his face red and eyes watering while he looked at you in shock. That sent you overboard; you laughed maniacally for the rest of the ride as you made a much slower journey back to the loading station. When it finally came time to exit the car, you couldn’t move, your laugh-driven tears were so all consuming.

“I’m never listening to you again.” Peter grumbled as he unclicked his seat belt angrily, hopping over your seated form and onto the platform to glare at you while you attempted to control yourself long enough to get back onto solid ground.

“Are you sure your Spidey Senses weren’t cluing you in to the free meal? I would ask if you wanted to go for funnel cake now, but you’re probably full, aren’t you?” You giggled, struggling to release yourself from the metal car. It was stuck for some reason, and you yanked at the metal casing all the while maintaining your shit-eating grin.

“I hate you. I’m going to leave you here.”

It then dawned on you why you were having such a difficult time getting out of your car. “PETER. YOU DID NOT WEB MY SEATBELT SHUT.”

The young man shrugged and stuck his tongue out at you, turning on his heels as he made his way off the platform. “You’ll figure it out!” He shouted back to you as you grumbled in your seat.

___

Please let me know if you want to be added to my tag list, and please let me know what you think! Comments are always appreciated (and fawned over).

@thetenthdoctorscompanion @inkstainedfanfics @everyday-imfangirling @galaxies-behind-my-eyes @kkiyomizu @greysanatomyimaginesworld @twilightparker (you didn’t ask but I thought you might like it)

[skarmorydraws]

Little something I’ve been developing in my spare time over the past few weeks, and has been in development in my head over the past year. I’m proud to have it finally put out on the Internet and hopefully I should have it finished up over the next few weeks if work doesn’t get to me first. Wish me luck, y’all!

Hopefully this should get me back in the mood for kaiju-related artwork in the future, which is pretty awesome. Perhaps I’ll be able to get my writing muse back up and running for Magizoic after this, who knows? ;)

Game pitch details under the cut!

War of the Monsters (c) Incognito Entertainment

During the first War of the Monsters, the greatest irony was that the monsters themselves proved to be the salvation of man and Earth. Destroying each other had caused untold collateral damage, but in the long term they would never again be a menace to our planet… or so it seemed. Unbeknownst to everyone, the Zorgulons which had been stranded on Earth had constructed a series of tachyon beacons hidden in the far corners of the globe, sending out a collective distress signal to their home planet. The signal arrived too late, but the second wave of invaders was mobilized without hesitation. Now, as a full-scale army of extraterrestrial destroyers makes its way to Earth, the monsters from the first War have begun to rise again to meet them… and both sides have brought friends. Lots of them.

NEW MECHANICS:

Fighter jets are a new type of aerial vehicle that perform shooting flybys that can gradually whittle away at a monster’s health. Both GDF and ZA versions exist. They are swift and hard to catch, but can be taken down by any projectile or special; if successfully grabbed, they can also be used as guns. GDF jets will not shoot at GDF-affiliated monsters, and even if they’re intentionally attacked, they will attempt to avoid these monsters at all costs; in contrast, they will always attack ZA-affiliated monsters on sight. ZA jets operate via the opposite logic, avoiding ZA monsters and attacking GDF ones. Neutral monsters are affected unpredictably by the targeting system of both varieties, but if they attack or damage the jets, all jets nearby will attack them. Certain maps will sometimes generate an Air Raid power-up which will summon a squadron of jets to the level in question. Whichever variety is summoned depends on the level.

Certain aerial carriers will now unleash robotic drones that spawn indefinitely until the carriers themselves are destroyed. The drones act like miniature helicopters, attacking any monster that is with the faction opposite to the player monster. Either alien or human drones and carriers can be encountered depending on the level. Their targeting logic is similar to fighter jets, though they’re slower in the air and are instantly destroyed the moment they take any damage.

Many Sea Creatures have been mutated by the fallout from the first War, and any choice among irradiated Sharks, Octopi, Crabs, Jellyfish, Piranhas, and Eels can be found in levels that include part of the ocean. Any of these can be picked up and thrown, the only exception being the Jellyfish which will briefly stun any monster that touches them. Crabs can also come onto land and behave like neutral vehicles, but must be approached from the rear, as they’ll latch onto and damage monsters trying to grab them from the front. Mutant Piranhas will attack and latch onto anything in the same body of water, and will often attack in large numbers, but can be pulled off and thrown like small items once they’ve bitten a monster. Sharks, Crabs, and Eels can be picked up and used as comical bludgeons, and will also latch onto monsters if they’re thrown at them. If an Eel is used to lash at a monster, the target will be shocked as well as take damage. Octopi cannot be used to slap enemies, but they can be used as guns, spraying blasts of scalding water at whatever they’re aimed at. As with water tanks and fire trucks, allied monsters take no damage from these blasts, making them useful for putting out allies on fire. If an Octopus is thrown at an enemy, it will latch onto it and stun it, but deal no damage. Sea creatures will burst into alien goop after being used as bludgeons a few times, or if they’re shaken off by an enemy and dropped onto land (except crabs). If they are thrown or dropped into the water they’ll just keep swimming.

A few levels have a prehistoric theme, and are populated by Dinosaurs to go with it. These include T. rexes, Raptors, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Brontosaurus, and, despite not technically being dinosaurs, Pterodactyls and Plesiosaurs. All Dinosaurs behave like hostile military vehicles, attacking any enemy monsters they come across. T. rexes and Triceratops must be approached from the rear to be picked up lest they respectively bite and gore monsters, and Stegosaurus from the front lest they hurt them with their tail spikes. T. rexes, Raptors, and Plesiosaurs will attempt to latch onto any monster they target (though Plesiosaurs will only attack monsters that are in the same body of water), and Pterodactyls will attempt flybys to rake monsters with their beaks and talons. All Dinosaurs can be picked up and thrown, and all Dinosaurs except Raptors and Pterodactyls can be used as bludgeoning weapons, but the Plesiosaurs in particular can also be used to spray jets of water that can knock back enemy monsters and put out allies on fire. T. rexes, Raptors, and Plesiosaurs will also latch onto enemy monsters if thrown. Brontosaurus, Triceratops, and Stegosaurus will attempt to knock back, knock up, and trip monsters, respectively, but all of them can be lifted two-handed and thrown, though Stegosaurus can also be used as a one-handed bludgeon. All Dinosaurs will explode into goop after a few melee strikes or if thrown off after they latch onto a monster. If dropped they will continue acting as hostile entities. A rare “Pterodactyl” power-up has a chance of appearing on any map or level, which summons a piece of meat in the player’s hands that can be thrown or used as a bludgeon, but only once. Any enemy monster hit by the meat, either at close or long range, will immediately be besieged by a flock of Pterodactyls that swoop in completely out of nowhere; care must be taken as this applies to allied monsters as well! If the meat hits the ground or a surface, the Pterodactyls will wheel in the sky above where it landed and act as an environmental hazard.

Giant Bugs are used by the Zorgulons as shock troops, and many more have been spawned by the fallout of the first War; no matter what, all Bugs are hostile. Certain maps can spawn giant Mantises, Spiders, Hornets, or Ants. Mantises act like miniature versions of Preytor (indeed, they’re spawned by her new short-range special), Spiders act like one of the newcomer monsters and can shoot sticky webbing to temporarily slow players, Hornets can briefly poison monsters with their stings, and Ants swarm monsters en masse, like Piranhas, resulting in an “Infested” status. Being Infested means the affected monster gradually loses health, and at the same time their movements and attacks become more erratic and likely to miss targeted opponents. Bugs can be grabbed and thrown like small items (or used like guns in the case of Spiders), but squish after only one use, and if dropped they continue making the players’ lives a living hell. Bugs are found on most Earth-based levels, but reskinned versions of Mantises and Spiders based on certain skins for two of the playable monsters can also be found on some of the space-based maps.

Monsoon: (Lightning +, Fire -) The sky is darkened by thunderclouds, and massive torrential rain blankets the area. Any ground-floor parts of the map become covered in knee-high water, and deep-water levels become deep enough to dive and swim in. Fires extinguish a lot faster and fire-based attacks deal less damage; by contrast, Lightning attacks deal more damage and gain a greater range. While aquatic monsters benefit from this level, lightning strikes are also a prominent hazard, striking buildings, monsters, or the ground or water. Climbing and flying monsters in particular must gamble between the hazardous water and the risk of being hit by lightning, making maps under the effects Monsoons especially challenging. Ground vehicles and minions are destroyed in the flood.

Hurricane: (Wind +, Poison -) Storm clouds roll in from the horizon, and strong winds start buffeting the entire map. Debris, items, vehicles, and minions that aren’t secured are blown away (power-ups and health/energy spheres aren’t affected), and may hit and damage monsters as if they were thrown. The direction of the wind changes randomly, and any monster that tries to move against the wind will be drastically slowed. Flyers and monsters that inflict Wind damage thrive in Hurricanes due to the high winds sharply increasing flight speed and jump distance as well as Wind attacks being drastically increased in range and power. By contrast, chemical and radioactive fumes are blown away by the wind, meaning Poison attacks and hazards deal less damage.

Acid Rain: (Poison +, Wind -) The sky is covered by sickly dark-green clouds, and lime-green rain starts pouring over the map. This is similar to Monsoon sans lightning, but with one critical difference: the rain is toxic. Monsters that don’t take shelter before the rain falls will take gradual damage over time, and may lose a lot of health until they reach “safe zones” throughout the map. The ground floor of the level will also become covered with deadly acid that damages any monster that steps in it, and also generates a toxic fog that serves as a ground hazard. Poison-resistant monsters are immune to the effects of Acid Rain and gain a boost in power to their ranged and special attacks. By contrast, Wind-element monsters can’t stand inhaling the deadly fumes and take a steep penalty to their ranged and special attacks. As with the Monsoon, ground vehicles and minions are destroyed in the flood.

Drought: (Fire +, Ice -) The clouds in the sky clear up and the sun begins to shine brightly and harshly upon the map. Shallow water quickly evaporates, and even deep water becomes shallow with the exception of the ocean. Fire attacks and hazards as well as explosions deal more damage, fires last much longer, and monsters that have been frozen can free themselves more quickly. Vehicles take no penalties, but minions have their attack speed and damage reduced. Ice-based attacks and hazards also deal less damage. This weather condition can only occur during the daytime.

Blizzard: (Ice +, Lightning -) Winter clouds overtake the sky and icy winds and snow begin to pummel the map. The random one-directional winds are similar to Hurricane, but while they don’t slow monsters’ movement speed as much, they reduce attack speed as well. Patches of snow may cover the ground, though monsters that trudge through them leave a trail of exposed ground as they go (unless they hover naturally and can float over them). However, patches of slippery ice may develop instead in some places, causing monsters that step on them to slip and fall over, slide around randomly without player-controlled movement, and in general find it more difficult to move. Ice-based attacks and freezing deal more damage with their status duration increased, while heat-based attacks deal slightly less damage. Electrical devices have a tendency to freeze up and fail in the cold, however, and Lightning-based attacks deal less damage and suffer a shorter range. Ground vehicles take a harsh penalty in terms of movement speed.

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars Rebels: “Heroes of Mandalore” -Review

This is it. With a war cry and a whole lot of jet packs, Star Wars Rebels begins its explosive final season with a fight for the liberty of Mandalore. Capitalizing off long running character arcs and packing an emotional punch, “Heroes of Mandalore” is an engrossing and satisfying season premiere that hopefully hints at great things to come.

(Review contains spoilers.)

With the warriors of Clan Wren, Fenn Rau, Ezra Bridger, Kanan Jarrus, and Chopper in tow, Sabine Wren launches the first major attack in the campaign to liberate Mandalore: freeing her father from the clutches of the Empire. However, when the Empire makes use of a deadly weapon from Sabine’s infamous time at the Imperial Academy, the mission takes a new turn for the survival of the Mandalorian culture.

Consisting of two separate halves, directed by Steward Lee and Saul Ruiz and written by Henry Gilroy; Steven Melching; and Christopher Yost, “Heroes of Mandalore” congeals into a surprisingly cohesive and effective hole. With the exception of “Ghost of Geonosis,” Rebels’ longer hour long specials have consistently stood out as some of the stronger work that the creative team have released dating all the way back to the series premiere in “Spark of the Rebellion.”  While it is clear where the disparate episodes begin and end, they are clearly designed to be viewed as a whole and the result makes for an effective viewing experience. The narrative covers a great deal of personal and mythological ground, but thanks to the expanded run time the results very rarely feel cluttered or rushed. “Heroes of Mandalore” provides our characters breathing room to react and process what has occurred while also providing some standout action set pieces. It may not be immaculate, but as a season premiere and a partial resolution to some of the series’ longer running story arcs it is more than successful.

In many ways, “Heroes of Mandalore” almost feels like an epilogue to Rebels’ third season rather than a true start to season four. Much of the main cast is absent and instead we double down on providing a satisfying conclusion to Sabine’s standout narrative arc. Even considering “Zero Hour’s” interruption, “Heroes of Mandalore” feels like a smart and natural continuation from the major plot threads that were introduced in “Trials of the Darksaber” and “Legacy of Mandalore.” We learn and see more of Sabine’s family and how they connect to the greater political and cultural landscape of Mandalore while at the same time delving into the origins of the rift that drove her into exile to begin with.

Sabine’s character arc again makes up the personal and emotional core of “Heroes of Mandalore.” Despite her initial reluctance last season, Sabine has evolved into symbolic figure of Mandalorian resistance to the Empire. This in a manner functions as one of the core emotional beats for her character. Despite how readily much of Mandalore seems to follow her, Sabine may not be the one that will ultimately be able to lead her people to victory. The likely candidate for that may be Bo-Katan Kryze, beautifully voiced by returning Clone Wars actor Katee Sackhoff, whose past carries more political clout than Sabine’s but is clouded by even more immeasurable tragedy.

Before “Heroes of Mandalore” barrels full on into the heavier and even tragic elements of its narrative, we are given the opportunity for some levity and quite characterization through the introduction of Sabine’s father, Alrich Wren. Gilroy, Melching, and Yost smartly design Alrich to be a fun antithesis to Ursa’s rough and brash exterior and instead craft a quiet spoken man who is just as much fascinated by aesthetics as he is loyal to his family. We don’t see much of Alrich but he makes for a fun character and adds a nice layer to Sabine’s increasingly complex characterization.

However, Sabine finds that it may be impossible to escape her past as the super weapon that led to her banishment returns in full force. The strangely named “Duchess” is revealed to be a device that targets and superheats the Beskar alloy (a nice Legends callback) in Mandalorian armor which in turn vaporizes the wearer. This is revealed in an effectively gruesome manner even if the attempted fake out of killing of Sabine’s mother and brother feels decidedly cheap. That being said, Tiya Sircar, who is currently killing it on The Good Place, again proves her voice acting chops. Sircar’s ability to capture the heartbreak and guilt of Sabine’s role in the subjugation of her people is only matched by her fury at the Empire. It’s a tough tight rope to walk as a voice actor and the results are frequently impressive.

Smartly, Yost utilizes the nature of the “Duchess” weapon to discuss the importance of Mandalorian heritage and culture. Sabine in her youthful arrogance crafted a weapon that not only systematically targets her people but does so in a manner by weaponizing one of the key parts of what makes them Mandalorians. It effectively drives home the reason why Sabine’s discovery proved so instantly horrifying to her people and lead to her eventual exile. Yost also utilizes this to pose some surprisingly effective discussions regarding the importance of heritage and refusing to give up cultural identity in the face of violence or oppression that feel politically poignant. In this manner, the utilization of Thrawn for what amounts to little more than a cameo proves to be a smart decision. His obsession with culture and art and the place it has with the development of warfare feels particularly relevant here and it makes for the best villain centric sequence.

If “Heroes of Mandalore” clearly stumbles anywhere it is in the execution of its one-off antagonist, Tiber Saxon. In all but design, Tiber feels like a reiteration of last season’s Saxon antagonist and he too is written off in a seemingly premature manner. While Tiber works fine enough as an episodic villain, it leaves the Mandalorian conflict without a clear opposing force moving forward. In general, the future of the conflict on Mandalore feels oddly vague. While we may have concluded Sabine’s part in this narrative, the war for Mandalore is clearly far from over. Will we return to this world? In all honesty, who knows. Rebels has enough on its plate already and I doubt we have enough space in the three hundred minutes or so left in the series to cover the liberation of two planets.

Outside of the series’ Mandalorian cast, the Rebels ensemble mostly takes a supporting or back seat role. Chopper and Ezra tag team as the episode’s comic relief with the latter doubling as an audience stand in as an outsider to Mandalorian culture. Taylor Gray plays this role well, even if the character’s slapstick is sometimes a tad distracting. Kanan, despite some cool action moments, feels the least necessary here outside of a cute moment between him and a hologram Hera that is sure to placate fans of their relationship until we dive further into their dynamic later this season.

Of the two directors, Steward Lee arguably has the more difficult job. While Ruiz stages much of the dramatic and emotional scenes with effective blocking and a smart visual eye, Lee has the challenge of arguably one of the most technically complicated action scenes the series has attempted to date. Sabine and her allies’ liberation of her father from an Imperial convoy playfully echoes the famous chase scenes from the Indiana Jones franchise and is filled with various moving parts, shifting geography, and smart choreography. It’s a sequence that is incredibly entertaining to watch and is decidedly more playful than much of the rest of the episode. That being said, “Heroes of Mandalore” more than most episode’s in the past season often times stretches a viewer’s suspension of disbelief when it comes to combat. While it is easy to become lost in the smartly directed action sequences, the series’ inability to showcase death by lightsaber becomes distracting at times. There is just something odd about seeing a Darksaber-wielding Sabine fly full speed at a stormtrooper only to deliver a roundhouse kick, saber dangling unused in her hand. Again, given the constraints of this series in terms of acceptable content, this is hardly a surprise or even a serious complaint, but the Rebels crew is normally smarter about hiding these odd moments in choreography.

Minor hiccups aside, “Heroes of Mandalore” makes for a fun, engrossing, and even cathartic viewing experience. Even if the future of Mandalore remains unclear, it’s more than a little exciting to see where this season may go from here. We are approaching the final sprint guys, let’s hope we finish strong.

 Score: A-

[aion-rsa]

The Umbrella Academy Review (Spoiler Free)

http://bit.ly/2UGi03k

Netflix's The Umbrella Academy is an admirable attempt to bring the comic to the small screen that ultimately misses the mark.

Books

This Umbrella Academy review does not contain spoilers.

Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba's The Umbrella Academy, which opens with the spontaneous birth of 43 superpowered babies right at the moment a wrestler elbow drops a giant space squid in the ring, might be unadaptable. Despite its best efforts to capture the delightful weirdness of the comic as well as expand on some of the storylines only hinted at in the book, the new Netflix series is ultimately too grounded and sluggish to really keep us invested. The series never quite finds its rhythm until the very end and is surprisingly dull throughout, especially in the first few exposition-heavy episodes. 

The Umbrella Academy is the story of the Hargreeves orphans, a super-powered group of kids mysteriously born at the exact same time in different parts of the world, who are trained by their cold and manipulative adoptive father, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, to save the world. Originally a famous superhero team of seven -- Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Number Five, Ben, and Vanya -- the family slowly begins to decay as the years go by. One sibling dies during a mission while Number Five capriciously travels far into the future against his father's wishes, never to be seen again. Most of the others eventually pack up and leave the Academy when they're old enough.

When the series begins, it's been 12 years since the team was together. But when Sir Reginald suddenly dies -- seemingly of natural causes, although Luther (Tom Hopper), the loyal leader of the team, is not so sure -- his adult children are forced into a nightmarish family reunion and back into old habits. As you would expect, things do not go well. 

It should be said up front that viewers expecting an action-packed superhero romp or something akin to Netflix's Marvel lineup will be sorely disappointed. The Umbrella Academy is not that kind of show, trading in the action sequences (of which there are very few) for slightly long-winded family drama. Of course, this won't surprise fans of the Eisner-winning series, itself a deconstruction of iconic superhero teams such as the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, and most importantly, DC's Doom Patrol, one of the comic's major influences. While the Netflix series does an admirable job of trying to captivate its audience with this particularly dysfunctional family of super-weirdos, it does so at the expense of its pacing. The Umbrella Academy is incredibly slow. 

The show's biggest problem is that it tries to stretch the book's six-issue first volume, "Apocalypse Suite," into 10 50-minute episodes, with bits and pieces of the second arc, "Dallas," thrown in. It's clear two or three episodes in that the show doesn't have enough material to keep things moving to the end, so showrunner Steve Blackman (Altered Carbon) and writer Jeremy Slater (Fantastic Four) crafted new storylines and expanded others while also remixing a few of the comic's character arcs. Unfortunately, these "bonus" scenes and new subplots rarely work. At times, they're actually detrimental to the characters. 

Further Reading: Gerard Way on Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion

This is largely the case for protagonist Vanya Hargreeves (Ellen Page), who is inexplicably thrust into an unnecessary romantic subplot. In the comics, Vanya is an outcast, neglected by the emotionally abusive Sir Reginald and sidelined by her narcissistic siblings. When her father dies, she's lonely and without a support system, harboring a quiet animosity towards her brothers and sisters, who are too busy dealing with their own drama to notice her. They've never let her in, even with her father removed from the equation. So when Vanya makes the choice to leave the family behind and go her own way, it's not really all that surprising.

The show, on the other hand, puts Vanya in an awkward relationship in order to flesh out another major player from the comics. The problem might be that the show never fully commits to the relationship, spoiling a big twist before we're ever really even invested in Vanya's love life. In the end, Vanya's story feels diluted by the additional subplot.

It's all in service of getting this show, which could have easily been two or three episodes shorter, to the finish line. Other annoying additions include a murder mystery surrounding Diego (David Castaneda), the family's robotic caretaker Mom (Jordan Claire Robbins), and their super-intelligent chimpanzee friend Pogo (Adam Godley); and an extended look at time-traveling assassins Cha-Cha (Mary J. Blige) and Hazel (Cameron Britton), who also falls victim to a strange romantic storyline. In the case of the murder mystery, the family members search for Sir Reginald's missing monocle -- which might provide evidence of foul play in connection to his death -- but it never really goes anywhere. To make matters worse, the show basically gives up on the yarn in the third act, giving the audience the answer with a few lines of exposition.

Meanwhile, troubled, drug-addicted Klaus (Robert Sheehan) gets much more screentime than comic fans might expect, and Sheehan is excellent in the role as if it were written for him. But too often, perhaps inspired by Sheehan's outrageous performance as Nathan Young in Misfits, the character is played for laughs. The result is a joke that begins to feel repetitive. Klaus is nowhere near this dim-witted in the comics. One thing that does work in Klaus' favor is his ability to communicate with the dead, which adds a horror element to the show. When Klaus learns to finally use this power to his advantage in the climactic battle, I absolutely cheered.

Further Reading: The Umbrella Academy Cast on Creating a New Kind of Superhero Show

While all that's going on, knife-wielding Diego, the rogue of the family, also gets a love interest, and it's by far the least interesting love story of all. Why Blackman and Slater felt that the only way to explore many of these characters was through romance is beyond me. In Way and Ba's comic, introspection doesn't come from the romantic, but through the familial ties that bind. For example, in the comic, Diego has to figure out a way to work with Luther, an altruistic hero who is sort of incompetent at being the team's leader, and while at first Diego despises his brother, they end up growing together. In the third arc of the comic, it's Diego, a loner by nature, who has to convince a depressed Luther to get the team back together. 

It's clear that everyone involved with this adaptation has real love for the comic, from the way it accurately recreates the young Umbrella Academy's costumes to the camera angles that recall the work of film auteur Wes Anderson, who is a clear influence on both the book and the show (you could almost imagine this as Anderson's very own take on the superhero genre, with all of the beautiful shots and retro zaniness). Blackman and his crew really took the time to make the show look and sound great -- one particular shot of helicopters flying over Vietnam comes to mind -- but it also feels like they don't fully understand what makes Way and Ba's fast-paced, minimalist, vignette-heavy family drama so effective. 

Despite my complaints about Vanya's extended storyline, I'm happy to say that Page's performance as the timid and anxious main character of this family tragedy is top notch. She makes the best of every scene she's in, even when her romantic counterpart isn't quite up to the task. Page is subtle in scenes with her over-the-top siblings, layering in claustrophobic loneliness over her deep-seated anger at being the sister everyone always ignores. I loved watching Vanya absolutely lose her shit later in the season, and Page has already given us so much by that point that it's impossible not to sympathize with her character, even as she takes a dark turn that she may not be able to return from.

Number Five, played by Aidan Gallagher, who's spent most of his career on Nickelodeon kids shows, is also a highlight. Gallagher is well-cast and is able to convey the wisdom beyond his years necessary for the role of a 60-year-old hitman trapped inside the body of a 10-year-old (although he's slightly older than that on the show). He rarely cracks a smile as the self-serious Number Five, or partake in his family's childish shenanigans, but when he does let loose, it's entertaining and very funny.

Further Reading: Everything You Need to Know About Avengers: Endgame

This trigger-happy hero-turned-assassin is also one of the few characters who benefit from an expanded storyline. The show dives much deeper into Number Five's backstory, giving us colorful pieces of his backstory the comic never has. Along the way, we learn much more about the secret organization Number Five worked for before rejoining his family in the present day. His interactions with this faction of time-jumping assassins are among the best in the entire series. Here, the show doesn't rely on romance to flesh out a character and it's really refreshing. 

Surprisingly, Luther and Allison (Emmy Raver-Lampman) get the least to do. While at the forefront of the comic, Luther takes a backseat to the characters the people behind the show are really enamored with, like Vanya, Klaus, Number Five, and Diego. On the show, Luther is a bit more bumbling and I had a hard time believing that any of these characters would actually follow him into battle, but there are some high points for him, too. His story is one of self-discovery, as he steps out from under his father's shadow for the first time (this is a man who's never had a drink or done a drug or rebelled against his dad), and it's in Luther's search for clarity as an independent adult for basically the first time that this character shines.

Allison is in the middle of losing a family, even as she regains another. "Hotel Oblivion," the current comic's third arc, begins to explore why Allison, who can alter reality at will by telling lies, has become alienated from her husband and daughter. The show expands on that, showing what created the rift, and it perfectly fits the character. 

As the credits roll on an enjoyable final episode, it's hard to call Netflix's The Umbrella Academy a success, but like its troubled family of freaks, it's not a lost cause. There are parts of the series I really liked -- the latter half of Klaus' arc when he's given a bit more depth, a hilarious showdown involving an ice cream truck, and a character's complete infatuation with the torso of a mannequin -- that hint at a freshness that could set it apart from other superhero TV and movies. The Umbrella Academy is at its strongest when it commits to the weirder elements of its story and world, such as the aforementioned talking chimpanzee, and does itself a disservice by trying to ground its characters in needless romance and the menial. Like Vanya herself, there's potential here, the show just needs to go off the deep end first.

John Saavedra is an associate editor at Den of Geek. Read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @johnsjr9. 

2.5/5

Netflix

The Umbrella Academy

Gerard Way

Review John Saavedra

Feb 4, 2019

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from Books http://bit.ly/2REizIM

[arcaneranger]

Final Thoughts - Fall 2018

This season dragged on me a lot, and I attribute that mostly to the fact that I moved right at the end and it put me way behind schedule, but also because a number of shows looked like they were going to really go the distance and wound up with one big disappointment or another.

That’s not to say that there weren’t gems - in fact there were a few - but this was yet another season where my “Hall of Fame” looked woefully light. That being said, I’d really like to get this over with since I have other shows to finish and three more lists to make for the year, so as usual, let’s start with the stuff I skipped entirely:

* Tokyo Ghoul re: Second Season & Gurazeni Season 2 because I didn’t watch either of their previous seasons.

* Senran Kagura Shinovi Master because Senran Kagura as a property is built entirely on half-naked girls with big boobs and that’s not going to jive with me.

Wow, that’s really it? Fall was the beginning of a lot of shows that won’t be finished until sometime in 2019, so the other shows I skipped will appear next year on the Multi-Cour list. So, moving right along, from bottom to top...

DROPPED

* WORST OF THE SEASON: TIE

UZAMAID!, My Sister My Writer (1/10)

We did have multiple entries into the Hall of Shame this season, with not one but two shows being offensive enough that they landed a 1/10 score from me, for an easily identifiable and familiar reason: actively glorifying pedophilia! That was pretty much UZAMAID!’s biggest problem, but My Sister My Writer aged up the target character in exchange for recycling the plots of OreImo and Eromanga Sensei, with all of the bullshit and none of the production values. Happy Sugar Life has even further convinced me that there is absolutely no excuse for this garbage anymore.

* Conception (2/10)

A video game adaptation that strips away the actual gameplay elements and focuses entirely on the main character figuratively fucking a lot of fantasy women to make world-saving babies, and it doesn’t even have the courtesy to look like it cost more than $5 to make.

* Ulysses: Jeanne D’arc and the Alchemist Knight (3/10)

I didn’t get far enough into this one to get to the real garbage (I’ve heard it’s another show I should probably throw in with the worst of the season) but the very first episode bored me to tears with its rote anime nonsense. I’m pretty well convinced that the only way I could ever find a Joan of Arc anime interesting is if it were an adaptation of the Level 5 PSP game.

* Between the Sky and Sea (3/10)

I can’t deconstruct this any better than Mother’s Basement did but it is just the most asinine thing I was subjected to for the whole season. Cute girls don’t fix a terminally stupid concept like “all the fish have moved into space and so now we train teenage girls to be astronaut fishers”.

* Bakumatsu (3/10)

I dropped this one an entire point from when I first reviewed it simply because I had entirely forgotten it even existed and cannot remember a single thing about it except that it was generic.

* As Miss Beelzebub Likes It (4/10)

I found this one’s first episode to be cute but entirely devoid of substance. Also, the poster still hurts my eyes to look at.

* DAKAICHI -I’m being harassed by the sexiest man of the year- (4/10) & Bloom Into You (4/10)

Proof that actual gay people just cannot have nice things, the most explicitly LGBT shows to be made in a while both suffer from the same problem: a supposedly sympathetic character having no ability to take “no” for an answer. True fact: not all gay relationships start with rape, and this is the kind of entertainment that fosters young people into not knowing how consent works.

* ReRideD: Derrida Who Leaps Through Time (4/10)

I guess everybody else saw this one coming before I did? It was the first post-premiere show I dropped because I thought the first episode showed an interesting setup, and the following episodes just completely abandoned the apocalyptic setting very quickly to show that society was pretty much fine, there were just robots roaming the earth like random D&D encounters. Man, sci-fi cannot catch a break these days.

* Ms. vampire who lives in my neighborhood. (5/10)

I can see why this might appeal to some but it’s basically just a low-rent Miss Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon and I wasn’t feeling especially charitable towards it.

* Double Decker! Doug & Kirill (5/10)

I really thought this one could get to be more interesting, but it failed to really commit to being either anime’s Brooklyn 99 (which, for the record, we have, it’s Blood Blockade Battlefront season 2) or being a serious tale about the dangers of Tide Po-I mean, drug usage, and wound up just being an uninteresting thud.

* The Girl in the Twilight (5/10)

This one really could have made it if only it had taken things a little more seriously and not made me wonder why the cast are even friends as they seem to have nothing in common. I can’t believe that the creator of this project was the guy who wrote the script for Punch Line, one of the greatest shows I’ve ever seen.

* Tsurune (6/10)

I literally just finished my write-up for this, but I do not understand why the same company would make both this and a continuation of Free! airing in back-to-back seasons, it just makes this one look like a copycat even if it’s not a bad show.

UNSCORED

* Gakuen Basara: Samurai High School because I’m not familiar with the source material and that seems to be the barrier for enjoyment here.

SPECIAL

* Anima Yell! (6/10)

If you need a reminder, I dropped Anima Yell after the first episode because even though I enjoyed it, I found it too similar to Comic Girls and didn’t particularly want to go through the effort of finishing a show I was already pretty ready to score, even if it was going to be a positive one. I simply didn’t have time.

FINISHED (Note that Tumblr has completely broken and I’ve had to re-edit this portion a dozen times because it keeps randomly bolding paragraphs and losing GIFs, so if anything got lost here, I’m very sorry but there’s nothing I can do about it.)

* Boarding School Juliet (7/10)

A pleasant little romantic comedy that wasn’t what I was expecting from the first episode but was charming nevertheless. Would have been better without the involvement of attempted rape on school grounds in the premiere though. * Release the Spyce (7/10)

A thrilling and surprisingly brutal little spy show that wound up being overshadowed by better shows with similar concepts but was a fun watch nonetheless, even if it dragged in the middle.

* Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai (8/10)

I stand by what I said before - this one would have easily scored higher with a better ending, but Bunny Girl Senpai is certainly the most approachable show of its genre and its strengths as a romance are not to be understated. 

* Zombieland Saga (8/10)

Another Very Good show that could have been better with one simple change - it’s hilarious and very well-written, but those performance sequences are just awful to look at and the heavier focus on them towards the end did not help.

* Iroduku: The World in Colors (8/10)

A stunning treasure that needed a little more character work for the writing to really impress me, but with a very satisfying ending and a ton of visual creativity.

* Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san (9/10)

A fucking hysterical show scientifically grown in a lab to appeal to me, Honda-san could have been the new INFERNO COP, SAVIOR OF ANIME if more people had given it a chance.

* BEST OF THE SEASON: SSSS.Gridman (9/10)

I don’t know what else to say other than that this is easily the most criminally underappreciated show of the year. A lot of people seemed to be turned off by giant robots fighting kaiju, and those people are dumb.

And that was Fall! I’ve got a few Netflix shows left and I have to finish Classicaloid 2, and then I’ll be all done with 2018, so get ready, I’ve got a few more lists on the way!

[deathtrapnest]

Clark Kent and Lex Luthor: Cracker Barrel Arsonists

fandom: Superman Birthright comics pairing/warnings: Clark Kent / Lex Luthor but rated G

summary: date a boy who is the accomplice in your Cracker Barrel arson charge

read on AO3 or under the cut:

Clark Kent hated Cracker Barrel. It was a disingenuous parody of the rural comfort he’d been surrounded by his whole life. Even the smell of the over-processed, fake ‘home made’ food made him feel slightly nauseous. But as much as Cracker Barrel made Clark uncomfortable, he was sure he couldn’t hate it as much as Lex did.

Neither of them had had any intention of going there. Clark had gotten his license only a few months previously and he still had to beg and plead and do extra chores to get permission to borrow his Pa’s truck for the weekend.

 Lex had a sports car and always complained that the truck smelled like cow shit and went too slow. However, he seemed to enjoy it when Clark drove him around- usually aimlessly. They’d drive as far as they could away from Smallville as they could get away with before they wouldn’t be able to get back before midnight.

Another advantage of the truck was that Clark’s telescope couldn’t fit in the back of Lex’s car and sometimes they took it with them- stop wherever they found themselves after sunset and see if the stars looked different there than they did from Clark’s backyard.…

But this time the usually sturdy, loyal, Ford pickup had betrayed them. Smoke had started pouring from the engine on the highway. The closest rest stop had been a Cracker Barrel. They’d barely even made it there- Clark was afraid the whole thing was going to catch on fire.

 Lex insisted that he could fix an engine as primitive as the old Ford using a paperclip and a roll of duct tape. But he also admitted that he had neither of those items on his person at the moment.

It was unavoidable. They had to go inside the Cracker Barrel.

 A country song was playing softly in the gift shop. Clark could see Lex taking it all in- the kitsch decorations, the baskets hanging from the ceilings, the 4 foot tall display of different flavors of fudge. He turned slowly and looked at Clark, stony faced.

 “Is this… hell? Am I in hell?”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Clark said. “We should see if we can use their telephone.”

Lex snapped out of his awe to wrinkle up his nose at Clark.

“ ‘Telephone’ ?” Lex asked if he’d never heard the word before. “You’re not planning on getting the truck TOWED are you? I thought we were only here to get materials for ME to fix it.”

 “I don’t think they sell carburetors in this gift shop, Lex.”

 “Well if I just had a blow torch I could-“

“I don’t think you need to finish that sentence.”

 Lex opened his mouth to continue arguing but Clark was already walking toward the front desk and Lex fell back behind him, crossing his arms over his chest in a sulk.

 “Hello, ma’am.” Clark said forcing a smile to the sweet looking old grandma who was behind the front desk. “Our car broke down, I was wondering if we could use your phone?”

 “Of course, young man, the phone is-“ she paused, frowning a bit and looking over Clark’s shoulder. “…. does your friend there need something…?”

Clark turned around.

Lex was shuffling around, leering over his own shoulder like a shoplifter, occassionally picking objects up off the shelf, examining them suspiciously, then putting them back. 

“….No, he’s just…” Clark began to explain but felt too exhausted mid sentence and just let it trail off. Lex seemed to have noticed he had eyes on him and straightened up, walking over to the desk and putting on his most charming smile.

“We won’t be needing the phone. But do you have toolbox that we could use?” he asked.

 She looked between the two of them with suspicion for a long moment but nodded.

“It’s in the storage closet.” she stood up and walked across the room to a closet door, occasionally looking back at them as if worried they’d do something when her back was turned. She returned with a large, metal, red box and set it on the counter with a loud thunk and some visible effort.

 “I’m not sure this will have everything you need to fix a car, young man. What did you say was wrong with it, anyway?” she asked, still looking a bit wary.

“As long as there’s a philip’s head and a wrench, it will suffice.” Lex drawled. His eyes lighted on a cardboard box that had been tucked away behind the counter, a power cord hanging out of one end. “What’s that?”

“Oh, just an air conditioner we haven’t put into storage yet.”

 The smile that curled across Lex’s mouth was nearly wicked. He took a checkbook from his jacket pocket and quickly scribbled out a number on it that made the poor old cashier gasp and handed it to her. “I’ll take the air conditioner too.”

 Clark held the toolbox and the box with the air conditioner under one arm and followed Lex around as he continued to browse through the gift shop shelves with a phrenetic, determined, energy. He picked up an alarm clock, twisted off the back and peered at the wiring inside.

 Lex glanced over at Clark. “This place is awful. The entire chain should be burnt to the ground.”

 “That’s a little-“

 “They’re capitalizing on the small town hick aesthetic cultivated by people like your hard working parents. You should hate this more than anyone.”

Clark ignored the ‘hick aesthetic’ comment and shrugged one shoulder. “Well, sure, but-“

 “ ‘well, sure’ “ Lex immediately mimicked in a mocking tone. “That mild mannered, easy going, attitude is nothing but cowardly if you’re just going to let opportunities to correct injustice pass you by without doing a thing about it.” he waved his hand around for emphasis. 

 Clark smirked. “Hey- the meek will inherit the earth, right?”

 Lex rolled his eyes and abandoned the conversation, going back to the front desk to pay for a novelty alarm clock shaped like a rooster, a zippo lighter, and a rubber band ball.

 Clark insisted that he be the one to pry off the hood of the truck. It creaked open with a huge flume of grey smoke which Clark waved away with his arm. Lex was sitting cross legged on the ground, ripping apart the air conditioner and yanking the innards out as gleefully as a kid opens a present on christmas morning.

 Clark leaned against the side of the truck, cocking his head to one side to watch him.

“Gee, Lex, you really think you can fix the engine with just this junk…?”

Lex scoffed. “I could rebuild this entire car from scratch in my sleep.”

 Lex always looked most at ease to Clark when he was tinkering with something or studying something. When he was standing idle, it was always obvious that his brain was practically overheating with no outlet- the way he scowled, eyes flicking around and curling his shoulders forward protectively as if there was too much information, not enough focus, and it was an assault on him.

When he could focus, that’s when he was in his element and there was something nearly graceful about his efficiency. Set to a task, his slender hands could unravel or put together any machine with surreal accuracy, write out mathematic equations at high speed, fly across any set of complicated buttons and switches with precision.

Even Clark at super speed and super senses was sure he could never do some of the things Lex could make look so easy.

 Lex’s eyes scanned over the damaged engine, tapping his chin with the end of the wrench he was holding.

“Hey” Clark said, “Are you going to need gloves? To touch the engine I mean? It was pretty hot when I opened it up.”

Lex was focused on the task at hand now and gave a slightly annoyed sidelong look to Clark for interrupting his thought process. “Your hands look fine and you touched it.”

Clark hid his wince. “Yeah, I’m going to go get some gloves. Just hold on, okay?”

 They’d parked directly next to the building so Clark jogged back into the gift shop. Surely there had to be some sort of gardening glove or something. He had a feeling Lex wasn’t going to wait up for him either way.

 The cashier grandma stopped Clark, though, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

“What do you and your friend out there really need with all those things you bought?” she asked.

“Uh, we’re fixing my truck.” Clark knew the truth was a bit unbelievable. And she didn’t look like she bought it.

 She squinted her eyes at him until she was staring at him through slits and leaned forward over the counter.

“You better not be making a bomb out there.”

Clark wasn’t sure how to break it to her how unlikely it was that two teenagers would choose a Cracker Barrel as their resource for bomb materials at 4 p.m. on a Friday in the middle of Kansas.

 She held up the check that Lex had written her.

 “And is this really going to go through?”

“Uh, yeah.” Clark said but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. He could smell smoke. She probably couldn’t. But he could. “Sorry, I’ll be right back…”

 Lex was hard at work- he’d fashioned a makeshift soldering iron out of a lighter and the copper wire from the A/C unit. He had both hands in the engine and a look of deep concentration on his face.

 He was completely ignoring the fact that less than five feet away from him, the side of the building was on fire.

 “Oh my god” Clark muttered.

 Lex didn’t respond.

“Oh my god!?” Clark repeated.

 “Shut up.” Lex said without looking up.

 “Lex-“ Clark still couldn’t look away from the climbing wall of flame that was starting to engulf the entire side of the building. “Please tell me you didn’t start this on purpose.”

Lex sniffed haughtily. “No.”

He clearly wasn’t making any attempts to stop it, though, and was continuing with his work, casual as could be and totally unfazed by the increasingly intimidating tower of flames.

 “Okay- uh- geez-“ Clark took off his jacket and began trying to stifle the flames but it was already beyond the point where he could do much- at least not with Lex looking. If he could get alone without witnesses, he could blow it out easily…. “Lex? Lex! I’m going to try to put this out but you have to go inside and get everyone to evacuate.”

Lex still refused to look up. “I’m busy.”

Clark made an exasperated noise and dropped his jacket, running over to Lex and grabbing both narrow shoulders and shaking him gently. “Lex! There are innocent people in there!”

 That dangerous fury flashed across Lex’s face. The one that usually preceded a violent outburst of some sort. But Clark knew Lex well enough to know that he was just annoyed because he hated when his thought process was interrupted. That once he’d set his mind to fixing something, creating something, he couldn’t be interrupted at any cost. But there wasn’t any time for that. Clark put one hand on each of Lex’s shoulders and looked him directly in the eye.

 “The engine will still be there when you get back. But you have to go help people get out now.” he gave his shoulders a light squeeze.

 Lex ground his teeth, eyes flicking back and forth between the one hand he still had in the engine and the flaming building, as if his genius brain was really struggling and stalling to decide which was the priority- fixing the engine or avoiding getting lit on fire. Finally, he nodded curtly at Clark and brushed off his grip, sprinting into the Cracker Barrel. Clark heard him distantly yelling at the customers inside the restaurant (“Alright everyone drop the chicken and dumplings and run if you want to live, rednecks!”).

 Clark sighed and turned back to the fire, which was getting higher, starting to catch on the roof. He could guess that it started from a spark from Lex’s engine work catching on one of the wicker baskets, spreading to the dry wood rocking chair, and up the porch beams. He gave one quick look around to make sure there were no witnesses and then took a deep breath and began blowing. At first it seemed to work, a lot of the flames extinguished with the first gusts of super breath. But then the higher flames, near the roof, seemed to only grow from the added oxygen.

 “Aw geez…” Clark muttered, running one hand through his hair. He hadn’t had much experience with putting out fires. There had been one at a neighbour’s barn he’d helped with but he’d had water then. He wasn’t sure where to find any type of hose at the Cracker Barrel and there was no lake or creek for miles.

 To make matters worse the cashier from the gift shop had come out the door and was staring at Clark with a dropped jaw. She raised one hand shakily to point at him.

“I knew it! You hoodlums! I’m calling the police!”

Clark winced. The customers from the restaurant were also starting to pour outside, led by Lex who actually seemed to be having a good time ordering everyone around.

 He couldn’t do anything with everyone watching, they were already looking at him and Lex suspiciously.

Lex sprinted over to Clark’s side (Clark mentally noted it because he rarely saw Lex look out of breath). “I thought you said you were going to put out the fire!”

“Easier said than done I guess”

“It looks like you just spread it to the roof. Good job, farm boy.”

“Hey- who’s the one who started it in the first place?!” Clark snapped back.

Lex grabbed Clark by the hand, wrapping long fingers tightly around Clark’s wide palm and yanking him forward. “C’mon” he led him back into the building, kicking the door open.

“I don’t think we should be in- holy cow!” Clark yelped as a piece of the roof fell in, a shower of sparks flying toward them.

He immediately pulled Lex to his chest, covering his head with his shoulder from the fire. It only took a few seconds before Lex began attempting to squirm free. Clark noticed that their hands were still entwined, tighter than ever. This was an emergency situation. ‘Stop thinking about his hands, idiot’ Clark reminded himself hotly. Lex at least wasn’t distracted. He continued stalking through the building, pulling Clark behind him even as he nearly tripped trying to keep up with his pace.

 He’d led them to the kitchen and let go of Clark’s hand to start fishing around through the cabinets frantically, throwing things on the floor and out of his way.

 “What are we looking for?” Clark asked, ducking to avoid a plate that Lex threw over his shoulder.

“Get any plastic bottles you see and empty them out”

Clark found some litre soda ones and began pouring them out into the sink. Meanwhile Lex made a triumphant exclamation upon finding Baking Soda in a cabinet.

 He bumped shoulders with Clark to get to the plastic bottles and began pouring vinegar into them, then water from the sink.

“Get me some paper towels” he delegated.

“What is this anyway?”

“A fire extinguisher. These idiots don’t have one in the restaurant so this will have to make do. Once we add the baking soda, it causes a chemical reaction-“

“In the vinegar!” Clark finished. “Carbon dioxide.”

Lex smirked. “Someone’s been paying attention in chemistry class.”

 They loaded up the bottles in their arms and ran back outside. The customers were huddled on the other side of the parking lot, it seemed everyone had gotten out safe. But the roof was still aflame.

Clark and Lex just stood staring up at it, heat radiating onto their faces for a moment.

“You sure you don’t want to just let it burn?” Lex asked hopefully. 

Clark gave him a sidelong look. “I can get up on the roof if you give me a leg up. Then throw the bottles up to me.”

 Leg knelt down on one knee and knit his fingers together to provide a base for Clark to put his foot on and then pushed him up. Clark nearly lost his balance and gripped the top of his head for a second which Lex griped about but once he got hold of the edge of the roof he was able to easily pull himself up.

 He reached back down and Lex handed him the box of baking soda. Their fingertips brushed as he passed it to him.

“Be careful up there” Lex said looking up at him seriously, flames casting color on his pale green eyes. 

“You worried about me?” Clark asked, trying and failing to emphasize the sarcasm and downplay the hopeful note in his voice.

Lex smirked. “Of course not. Isn't a farm boy's toughness his selling point?” he tossed the first bottle up.

 Clark made quick work of shaking up the bottles and then letting them explode into white foam over the flames, dousing most of the fire instantly. In no time the roof was clear and Clark could even hear some of the Cracker Barrel customers giving a few cheers.

 Lex was waiting on the ground, holding his hands up to catch Clark as he slid carefully off the roof, feet first and eased himself down into Lex’s arms. They both smelled overpoweringly of smoke… with a hint of vinegar. When Clark’s feet touched the ground Lex was still holding him, one arm splayed against his back. He was looking him up and down with… pride? A sort of self satisfied smugness on his face that made Clark’s whole head feel hot with a blush. Then he raised his hand to Clark’s cheek and brushed his fingertips along it, trailing down across his jaw, even ghosting against his neck before he drew away.

 “W-what was that…?” Clark mumbled numbly, feeling like his chest was ringing and vibrating with the force of an alarm clock.

“You’re covered in ashes.”

“Oh.” Clark said, wincing at the evident disappointment he heard in his own voice. He swiped the back of his arm across his face several times. “Better?”

Lex scoffed. “Not really.”

 Clark was overly aware that he was still nearly chest to chest with Lex and that one arm was still around his waist. Clark hesitantly raised his hand to Lex’s face, brushing his thumb across his lower lip.

“You have some ash on you too…” he lied.

 Lex smirked and took a step forward, until they really were pressed against eachother, and moved the hand that was on Clark’s back up, pulling him closer-

 “That’s them! They’re the arsonists! They were trying to build a bomb!” the old cashier was leading an angry mob of Cracker Barrel regulars and pointing at them with a type of giddy self righteousness, squawking at a volume and frequency that was piercing, “I called the police!”

 Clark said “Oh, geez…” at the same time that Lex said “shit” and they looked at each other with resigned disappointment. Whatever it was that had been about to happen, would have to wait if they wanted to avoid a night spent in a Kansas prison arguing over if their allotted phone call should go to Jonathan, Lionel, or Lex’s lawyer.

 Lex’s hand ghosted up the side of Clark’s thigh, and took the car keys from his pocket. 

Clark untangled from Lex’s arms and put his hands up at the crowd in a mollifying gesture of peace. Lex slipped away behind him, sneaking back to the truck.

“Uh, I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.” Clark started. 

“You burned down half the building!”

“…So, a big misunderstanding…” Clark amended, buying for time. Luckily, he didn’t have to stall more as in a cloud of dust and the sound of revving engine, the truck screeched next to Clark, the passenger door swinging open.

 “Get in!” Lex shouted from behind the wheel.

Clark gave a final apologetic shrug to the angry mob. “We’re really sorry!” before throwing himself into the truck.

 Lex slammed his foot on the gas before Clark even had a chance to sit up or close the door behind him. And then they were nearly tipping onto one set of wheels with the high speed swerve Lex pulled to get them back on the highway. Clark looked out the back window to see the Cracker Barrel mob shouting and shaking their fists at them, getting smaller as they got farther away.

 “Wow” Clark said incredulously, shaking his head, “I can’t believe we almost burned down a Cracker Barrel…. Do you think we should go back tomorrow or something when they’re less mad? Help them rebuild?”

Lex made a noise of disapproval. “Of course not. Their insurance will cover it anyway.”

“Does insurance cover Smallville local delinquents showing up at your business and trying to burn it down?”

“I think that counts as an ‘act of God’ if anything does.”

“I’m pretty sure it was an act of YOU, Lex…”

Lex smirked. “We should do this every weekend.”

[garnettfox]

Ninjago: Rewind Way of the Ninja

*Looks at piles of fanfics, original ideas and other things that need finishing*...Sure I’ve got time to do this! XD

I’m a Ninjago Nerd, I love it and I ain’t ashamed….Well I’m a little ashamed at the dip in quality it’s been experiencing over the years but I still have a soft spot in my heart for the little lego Ninja what can I say?

So In preparation for the Ninjago movie coming in September I’m going to try and review every episode of Ninja from the Pilot to Hands of time hopefully finishing before the movie comes out in September. I’m probably going to fail but hey I can at least try! For now let’s start with part one of the Pilot Way of the Ninja:

With Way of the Ninja came what would be Ninjago’s Theme and technically still is it’s theme Weekend Whip. I say that it’s technically still the theme as since Rebooted the theme has gotten remixes themed around what the season would be based on and with added lyrics pertaining to the season. I won’t get into details till we reach those seasons but for what it’s worth Weekend whip was an...Ok song, memorable enough but it doesn’t really…..Go with the show. Ok it’s a modern re-imagining of Ninja as elemental masters but other then chorus having Ninja! Go! And ‘Jump up, kick back flip around and spin’ it doesn’t really relate to the show. But it’s still an ok song.

As for the episode itself it focuses on Kai who will be our protagonist, it’s quickly established that he is a blacksmith (and not a very good one it seems) he has a sister called Nya, they have lost their father somewhat recently but not recently enough that their still grieving for him and finally that he has a bit of a temper. Enough that when a old guy complains that they have nothing suitable for a Ninja to use he tells him in a surprisingly polite tone to peddle his insults somewhere else.

We are then introduced to what will be the villain mooks for the pilot the Skulkin skeleton warriors lead by the four armed warrior Samukai...and his two right hand men Kruncha and Nuckal semi recurring comedy relief characters, though after the pilot they’ll pretty much be relegated to a between season short, a cameo and a couple of background appearances.

The Skulkin attack and we get a nice little character moment with Kai telling Nya to stay back so he can protect her, only for Nya to turn right around and protect him from Skulkin coming up behind him and help him fight off the Skulkin warriors. Kai ends up in a one on one match with Samukai and ends up being no match for him, just before the Skulkin can kill him the old man now revealed to called Sensei Wu swoops in and saves Kai. Twice actually once from Samukai cutting him up and again with him destroying a water towers support making Wu have to pull Kai out of the way.

With them distracted we find out that the Skulkin are working for a mysterious Lord Garmadon and that they have orders to ‘Take the girl’....this raises the question of why Garmadon wanted Nya and how he knew she existed...But moving on, this reveals to us Nya’s purpose in the Pilot the damsel in distress!

...Don’t worry Nya your time will come….then go...

Kai is understandably upset that his sister has been kidnapped snapping at Wu saying he should have done something. It doesn’t help that Wu’s first thing to comment on what that he was right and Kai’s armor was useless. He quickly talks Kai out of going after the Skulkin pointing out that mortals can’t enter the underworld...At least not without outside help otherwise why would the Skulkin take Nya if they couldn’t take her back to the underworld with them?

We then get a nice stylised flashback/story about how the land of Ninjago was made by the First Spinjizu master with help from four golden elemental weapons that he passed down to his two sons. As these stories often go one brother became consumed by evil and it fell to the other to stop them, after banishing the eldest brother the younger hid the weapons away placing a guardian to watch over each of them and gave the only map to a honest man to hide.

…..

I’m probably going to come back to the ‘Honest man’ thing in a couple of seasons….Hell I’m gonna come back to the background story in one season as Wu seems content to word it as his brother voluntarily falling to the dark side.

Kai understandably isn’t interested in the least, he just wants to save his sister and not get involved in the conflict between brothers. He tries to leave only for Wu to knock him to the ground and tell him bluntly unless he can learn to control the fire that burns within him he’ll never be able to face Garmadon. Reluctantly Kai agrees to Spinjizu training.

Kai upon arriving at the monastery after climbing a mountain is quite perturbed at learning how to fight in a place of peace, apparently the guys never heard of warrior monks, or DnD monks. Kai ends up falling flat on his face and Wu declares he’s failed his one attempt at the course for the day and he can try again tomorrow. Kai rightfully points out their kinda on a time crunch but Wu just shrugs him off and leaves him to train alone.

What follows is a quick montage of Kai failing then finally completing the course in the time it takes Wu to drink a cup of tea. It just took him knocking the tea out of Wu’s hand so he had to restart the timelimit. Also going by how many times he failed he and Wu have been up there training for at least a week judging by how many times we hear Wu say ‘Fail’....Hello? Kidnapped sister? Bad guys have map to magic weapons that can grant them ultimate power? Anyone?

Anyway Kai asks when he’s going to learn Spinjizu only to get mentor cliche #563 ‘You already know it’ Wu then walks off telling Kai his final test is tomorrow and he should get some sleep. We jump cut to nighttime and see three Ninja sneaking into the monastery, Kai is getting ready for bed and he starts jumping around his room imagining what his test will turn out to be only to come face to face with one Ninja and realise the other two are surrounding him.

He manages to fend them off with his electric toothbrush and makes a break for it heading outside to the training course. After using the training course to beat them up a bit they end up in a brawl only broken up by Wu coming out and yelling at them. We then find out that these guys are also students of Wu’s.

….

Do we ever get an explanation as to what they’ve been doing for the past week? It’s never brought up in the show to my knowledge and I don’t remember it ever being mentioned in the books, and if you have to consult outside sources for that kind of info it kinda takes you out of the moment…

Anyway we get little character introductions for them, we already know Kai the red Ninja master of Fire, but we’re introduced to Jay Blue Ninja and Lightning master, he’s the technerd most of the time in the show and comic relief the rest of the time. The Black Ninja Cole Earth Master and….the show kinda goes back and forth on him being the leader of the group, he tends to be the one in the beginning to give the others orders but later in the show leadership is given over to another character but Cole still comes off as the leader even after that trade off, He’s the serious one. And finally we have the Ice Master Zane the ‘Seer with sixth sense’...which doesn’t make much sense considering what we learn about him in the next season. Something else that’s always bugged me is the vanishing trick he does with his shuriken in this scene, I know they have a hammer space of some kind to explain how they pull things out of thin air but there’s a weird sound effect and sparkles when he does it, and it is never mentioned nor does it ever happen again. Zane is a bit of cucoolander and takes things very literally.

Wu declares that they are the chosen ones who will protect the four weapons. Kai is rather pissed off about this pointing out that he’s only in this because Wu promised that he’d be able to save his sister and again, wants nothing to do with the fight between Wu and Garmadon. This isn’t helped by Jay being a horn dog asking if his sisters cute and if she likes blue.

We jump cut to the Ninja pulling Wu in a carriage on the way to the first weapon and we get a little more about their characters, we find out that Cole was testing himself by free climbing a mountain before Wu found him. Jay was in the city (We can assume Ninjago city) testing out a glider he made, and Zane was testing his self by meditating at the bottom of a frozen pond….Come to think of it Jay’s a bit of an odd duck here. Cole was mountain climbing (Earth) Zane was in a frozen pond(Ice) and Jay was just...Dicking around on top of a building….if there was a storm it’d fit a bit more, or if the invention was more to do with electricity…

We stop at the Caves of Despair Wu noting that Samukai has to be close to getting the Scythe of Quakes….Well maybe he wouldn’t be so close if you had helped Kai train and not left him to do it himself for a week?! Cole starts making a plan after Wu warns them not to use the Scythe only to find Kai’s jumped the gun and is heading towards the caves ahead of them. They follow after having to abandon the plan.

They get to Samukai’s tower with little trouble and a comedy bit from Kruncha and Nuckal and manage to steal the map from him realizing the Skulkin are bigging in the wrong spot as they have been reading the map wrong….Uhrm….If the map was upside down shouldn’t they be on the other side of Ninjago instead of digging in the right area just a little off target?

Kai races off hearing this and goes to the right spot trying to open it up, the others catch up and tell him that their a team with Kai pretty much brushing them off. It’s understandable but it’s getting annoying how Kai’s treating the others, I empathise that he wants to find Nya but he’s not helping himself here.

They open the cave and find the scythe in the jaws of a ‘Stone’ dragon. Gee I wonder what the guardian is? Jay causes an echo revealing to the Skulkin where they are and the Ninja start to leave as the dragon's jaws start opening.

The Skulkin show up to stop their escape and the Ninja start playing keepaway with the scythe while fighting them. Their losing to superior numbers when Jay realizes it’s like the training course and while visualizing the training course unlocks his Spinjizu. With the revelation that they literally already know Spinjizu they use it to beat back and force the Skulkin into a retreat.

…

Well either that or it was the pissed off Earth Dragon behind them that wanted the Scythe back.

The dragon attacks them blocking off the exit with it’s earth breath and turns on them probably looking forward to it’s snack. Seeing no other option Kai takes out the Scythe of Quakes and uses it dazing the dragon a moment and opening up a crack in the ceiling to let them escape.

And now follows a scene that pisses me the hell off. Wu is angry that Kai used the Scythe and when Kai explains that it was his only option Wu accuses him of putting himself before the team, Kai get’s angry pointing out again that he’s only in this for his sister and Wu brushes him off saying maybe he and the others can get the next three weapons correctly.

….

USING THE SCYTHE LITERALLY WAS THE ONLY OPTION! Zane said that they couldn’t use Spinjizu to defeat the dragon as it was to strong, it’d be nice if that was shown not told but what can you do? The only exit was blocked off with no hope of opening it before the dragon eats them and the only place they could reasonably go is deeper into the caves, the caves that the dragon probably knows like the back of it’s claws and the dragon was blocking off anyway. The only way they managed to escape with their lives was because Kai used the Scythe. Was he being selfish and only thinking of himself and his sister, yes. But if he hadn’t THEN THEY WOULD HAVE DIED!

Where would Wu have been with his only four hopes to beat Garmadon dissolving in a dragon’s belly?

We end on a pretty good scene of Samukai telling Garmadon he’s failed, that Wu has taught students Spinjizu and they have the Scythe. Garmadon assures him everything is going to plan and to let them think their winning.

So what do I think of Way of the Ninja, it’s an OK episode. Not spectacular but we got the basic premise established neatly, we have a sympathetic character in Kai, he has an understandable motivation. The other Ninja are a bit one note but did only get introduced in the second half so they didn’t have a lot of time but what they had they used rather effectively. All in all a solid foundation for the show

Way of the Ninja: C

I’m sorry but Wu’s last scene just drags it down for me, not to much but I honestly can’t give it a score any better then a C, it was an Ok start to the show and showed room for improvement. We’ll see how King of Shadows build upon what Way of the Ninja lay down next time on Ninjago: Rewind.