#also at first she kind of sucked at her job but then when new subplot entered she suddenly was scary good at it??

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

finished a book that was very much for my Id and was self indulgent junk food and it was enjoyable but the age of the FMC nearly ruined it for me. she was wayyyyyy too young for someone in her position, she definitely read as at least a few years older, and it made a plot twist reveal about another character FUCKING RIDICULOUS to the degree it almost stopped me from finishing.

[nanaosaki3940]

Enji Todoroki/Endeavor  - The Social Disaster

MHA’s one of the main subplots is the Todoroki family story which we all know it as ‘Keeping Up With The Todorokis’. This subplot is deliciously complicated and the root of these complications is none other than Endeavor or Enji Todoroki himself.

And I’m going to explain why I call him ‘The Social Disaster’.

After failing to surpass All Might, Endeavor started his stupid breeding experiment where he’ll create a child to use it as a weapon to surpass All Might and become the No. 1 hero and the first weapon he created was called Touya Todoroki. At the very beginning of the training sessions with his son, Endeavor filled Touya’s head with dreams of becoming No.1 hero, be greater than All Might, that he was the destined one to carry out his father’s legacy etc. And then one day Endeavor stopped everything and just gave up on Touya, saying – “No, you can’t. You’re worthless, you can’t do this one thing I told you that you’re gonna be able to do your whole life and so you need to just get the fuck out of my face. Stop doing it. Go be an accountant and just give up.”

From birth Touya was told –“You’re gonna be this great thing. You’re gonna be this Hero Hokage.” and then Endeavor’s like – “Oh sorry, you’re not going to be that Hero Hokage.” and we see that Endeavor’s spending the whole time telling his son like - “Go hang out with your friends and go be normal.” And Touya says – “Well, everyone at school wants to be a hero too.” To me, it’s kinda looping back into Deku’s situation in reverse, like where Deku wanted to become a hero but he was quirkless and Touya also wanted to be a hero, but he can’t tolerate his own flames.

And then Endeavor came up with this shitty idea like – “Oh, you know what will make him stop, if you get him a fucking replacement.” which is maybe the worst idea I’ve heard in my whole life of how to resolve a problem like this.

To me, Endeavor has seemingly no understanding of how people work beyond just – “Oh, this is how I solve criminal cases.”

During his engagement with Rei, he looks and talks like such an awkward idiot and I feel like the way he treats Touya and the way he tries to handle his situation, just proves that how bad he is in understanding what he is doing and how his intentions affects reality.

Even though he is a grown-ass adult and he should know, it's interesting to see that there is this sort of consistency because I believe the implication is that it is his social idiocy that also caused him the No. 1 spot that he could never really become the people's man like All Might because he just doesn't know how to be a man of the people like All Might. And this is how it infects all parts of his life.

He's telling Touya to stop out of concern for him like – “You need to stop this because it's just not good for you.”, which is a very sweet sentiment. But at the same time, we get the panel of where he says – “We got to have another kid to make him stop doing it because then he will give up.” And Rei says –“No, we're not going to do that.” And his response is –“No, we gotta do it because he is never gonna be the one to surpass All Might.”

Then they have Natsuo and we see Touya’s reaction to it and it’s obviously that he’s not taking it very well and then we just see Endeavor getting more and more angry and Rei is getting more and more sad and defeated by the whole situation and when they have baby Shoto, the faces of Endeavor, Rei and Touya physically upsets me. We get to see Endeavor looks really excited, Rei's just like –“I’m done, just stop.” And Touya is so devastated because he realizes that this is the one that's gonna be better than him.

Shoto got what they wanted out of him and we see Touya saying like –“I can still do it.” and the end result is just the dad saying like; it's not even like –“Let's do things together other than being heroes.”; it's more like –“You got to give up on being hero, go play with other kids, go to school and get the fuck out of my face. I gotta train this other hero child. I don’t have time for this shit.”

Endeavor has a line of logic within his brain where he's like –“I can’t fix Touya for what I have done to him cannot be undone because I don’t have the capabilities, so I will just move forward and hope that he copes up.”, which is a terrible and stupid idea, but it is nonetheless align of logic within him.

There’s a certain set of values, ideas and goals in him and he follows them through and they were all terrible and reprehensible. But it still shows that there was an internal logic to him that it makes him even more monstrous without taking that terrifying humanity away from him.

Endeavor is just a person who has done terrible things, with an actual logical line of thought behind it even if it is logic that only makes sense to him.

There’re a lot of obvious parallels we can make between Touya and Deku (they’re not subtle about it and it’s kind of in our faces). Well it's just interesting to me that like Endeavor his whole obsession is like –“I gotta be better than All Might.” And then even in situations like this where he has this protégé that he gives all this hopes and dreams to like –“You're gonna be great, you're gonna be a hero, you’re gonna be the greatest.” And then the child has this power that his body cannot handle and he can't do what the dad told him to do, Endeavor is just like –“Well then, you suck kid. Get a new job, idiot.”

On the other hand, even though All Might is far from perfect in a lot of ways of course when it comes to this but it’s the exact same thing but he understands that like having these aspirations and these dreams even in someone so young is so real. And we know that All Might feels bad about what happens to Deku, but at no point does he tell him like –“Okay, give it up kid. You still can’t do it more than 5% without breaking your arm. Give it up idiot. I’m gonna give it to somebody else.” Like at no point does that even cross his mind. Rather All Might tells Deku –“Look, you gotta work to do. You’re not up to that level yet but I’ll help you and I’ll do it with you.”

And that’s true that Touya wanted to be better than All Might which wasn’t realistic but he was also a child and rationality and setting realistic goals comes much later than being a fucking child. But Endeavor was so obsessed with his own shit that it was hard for him to get over his own hang ups and look through Touya’s problems. Touya could easily still be a hero if he accidentally singes his skin a little bit sometimes that’s not even close to the kind of damage that Deku does himself every time he fights anything. So, it’s not unrealistic to be like –“Okay, yeah I’ll help you and we’ll take it slow. We’ll help you get over your power and then when you get to school or whatever, you can get help from the tech department and make you a heat shield or whatever.”

There were many ways that he obviously could’ve worked around it but Endeavor didn’t give a shit about that because that wasn’t his goal. He’s goal wasn’t to nurture Touya rather his goal was to find a way to get past All Might. He didn’t give a shit about trying to take it slow or trying to help Touya to accomplish anything other than what he wanted and once Touya couldn’t do that, he’s like –“Get the fuck out of my face while I train this replacement child.”

Endeavor is a kind of a person who makes every single mistake it could have made, like starting right from the point where he buys a wife to the point where he tortures Shoto during training sessions. Like you all can tell that he almost like wanted to be a parent when he was like –“Oh, I need to protect Touya from his own power.” He vocalizes a sweet sentiment but also he’s the reason Touya is like this and he can’t just run away and that’s why I like what Rei says as well it’s like –“You just keep running away. You keep creating these problems and you just keep running forward to All Might but also you keep running away from what you have done.” And I am so happy with how Rei is characterized like she is so much more spunky and so much more like assertive than I thought. Like she actually talks back to Endeavor and even in the hospital scene, she has like a presence and says –“You know we will do this. You need to get yourself together and we need to atone together, but most of all you because you were a piece of shit.”

And I also like the little thing at the end where Shoto was like –“I talked with Mom before we came here and I told her that I was going to be the one to stop Touya, but no, we’ll stop him altogether.” To me it sounded like it was Rei’s idea where she was like –“No, you can’t let this piece of shit make this your problem.” I mean Endeavor was always running away. He ran away from Touya and all this stuff happened. He was ready to do it again in the hospital, saying that –“I can’t fight him, he’s my son and I can’t do it.” But Rei was like –“No, get up and take some fucking responsibility for your problems.”

And I love that it was Rei the one who came to that conclusion, because even Shoto was ready to be like –“Dad can’t do it. I’m destined to stop my brother.” And she was like –“No, it’s this asshole’s problem. He did this and yeah all of us could have done more but you can’t let him sit in a bed and wallow about being so pathetic. He needs to get up and he needs to solve this.” And there's no better character it could have been to have been the one that came to that conclusion.

And this is what I love about MHA that how sincere it is and what I mean by that is moments like these where it doesn’t really go out of its way to play into any specific tropes when it comes to this abuse storyline and instead just gives you hurt people moving past and making decisions that sounds reasonable. Like the fact that Shoto didn’t just go on the avenger mode but instead talked it over with his mother which usually doesn't happen in shounen manga/anime. When you decide on making a revenge plot in shounen, you just do it. You don’t go and talk to someone important in your life and seek emotional counsel in shounen. So yeah, I love that Horikoshi sensei is giving us mature and realistic contents like these.

Then in chapter 302 we see Rei asks Touya like –“It almost seems like you don’t want to really be a hero, like you don’t seem like you actually care about becoming a hero. It just seems like you’re obsessed and stuck because Endeavor is your dad and you feel like you have a legacy to live up to but he is abandoned you.” And of course Touya’s responses were like –“Fuck you, mom. I fucking hate you.” But she was right. If Endeavor just hadn’t been such a pig headed shit in dealing with the problem, Touya either would have grown up to the point where he realized it was not worth it or if he really wanted to be a hero, Endeavor could have actually helped foster him into one if his entire end goal wasn't dependent on Touya being the best one.

Did Touya need to be the greatest hero ever created?

No.

Because in their last real conversation, before Touya ran off to the mountain and got burned up, he said and acknowledged the fact that he wasn’t as good as Shoto right now, but he said –“One day, I might become great and you’ll be proud of me.” Touya wasn’t even there saying like –“Oh, I’m the greatest thing ever born. Look at my awesome fire. Oops I burned the mountain down.” It was just him being like –“Look, I’m still trying. Look at this cool thing I did. Acknowledge this one thing that I did.” And Endeavor’s only reaction is – “Shut the fuck up, kid. You fucking idiot. How many times I tell you not to do this?”

But when Touya does get burned up, it shows us Endeavor’s face in horror running to the mountain which again is so bizarre. Honestly I’m starting to wonder if we will get an Endeavor back story ‘cause his set of morals and values is so fucked up.

The issue is Endeavor does care, but he just doesn't understand how to care. Like on a base level, he has the positive emotion of caring about Touya’s well-being and that is about where it ends. Endeavor has no comprehension of what that means or how to do that in a good way.

Every idea he thinks of how to fix it is stupid and he's even obsessed with the notion of like –“When Touya uses too much of his fire, he burns himself. So, I guess he has to never ever use his power ever forever from now.” I mean this goes beyond ‘I'm socially awkward around ladies’.

I almost think Endeavor’s previous family was just nothing prior to him and he fucking hated that. This is probably edge dark turn for what they might end up doing but I’m going almost like the Hawks route like –“Dad was a drunk, mom didn’t give a shit and they fought all the time. I was the scared repressed kid, but then at school or whatever it turned out I was actually pretty awesome and I became popular to some extent by both like athletic and corporate events. I was cool for that aspect so I’m used to being around people but I have no understanding of how they work at all.” That’s my assumption.

Even when he keeps trying to apologize to his family it always comes off like –“Yeah, I’m a bad guy and you hate me, so I’m gonna buy you a house that I won’t live in.” I mean, you’re still not really trying are you? You’re just moving the problem ‘cause you just like –“Oh, they’ll just be happy without me. I just suck. I’m just going to go away.” But like, you’re not helping them heal up or whatever. You’re just like ‘I’m going to be nice now’ but that doesn’t make all the horrible shits you did go away.

Endeavor doesn’t have an understanding of how humans work just because of how he is, but now I’m really curious to see if there might be more behind that. I just want to see why he’s so obsessed with All Might, like where that came from.

The character he’s obviously a parallel to is Bakugo and with Bakugo, we do get to see that since his youth Bakugo equated being a hero and the triumph of being a hero with being as good as All Might. That is very light as far as his motivation goes but it’s a motivation nonetheless.

With Endeavor, we’ve only ever gotten as far as like –“He is strong and I’m weaker and that pisses me off.”

It's almost idolization in a different way where we’re like with Bakugo, it’s like –“That’s my goal. I want to be just like All Might.” Whereas with Endeavor, it's like –“That's my goal 'cause I’m pissed off that I’m not the best of the best.”

They both idolized him in similar ways and Bakugo obviously feels more socially adjusted than Endeavor. Even though Bakugo’s a dick, he’s aware of things and is surprisingly emotionally literate. Like the scene where him and Deku get in trouble after they fight in end of season 3, they're like cleaning the house or whatever and Bakugo makes that little reach out of like –“Hey, the fighting style you’re using is messed up for these reasons, so you should try doing this.”

Like that alone is way beyond anything I would ever expect that of Endeavor. Endeavor’s response when they were cleaning the house would have been like –“Don’t worry, I’ll move my room to a different floor, so we won’t have to talk anymore.”

Endeavor’s a fucking weirdo, I swear.

And also Endeavor’s like actual motivations of becoming No.1 hero are almost intentionally omitted from the whole Todoroki family subplot and it’s so uncanny. I’m really hoping that Horikoshi sensei actually does something with that cause I think it feels so shallow compared to how much time we've spent on it now exactly and I feel it’s intentional and we are going to get something more about Endeavor. It feels like one of those gaps that an author leaves specifically so you can question it until it fills you in.

[elriel-oblivion]

Okay here's the thing.. I respect everyone's opinions and they can ship whoever they want but like... For Elucien and Gwynriel... I literally cannot even see how. I would gladly ship them if someone gave me a valid reason. Elain avoids talking or even being in the same room as Lucien, and Azriel had one polite conversation with Gwyn. Az is just nice to her. As nice as he would be to any female. Elriel has foreshadowing & chemistry- The roses painted on her drawer and the rose necklace...👀

Strongly agree with all of this!! My main problem with anything that's not elriel is that a lot of anti-elriel shippers completely ignore or erase Elain. With these ships, it's always what benefits Elain does or doesn't bring. It's so misogynistic, people just ignore everything she's mentioned about her own heart and how she doesn't want a mate or the bond, she doesn't care for it, but oh Lucien's had such a hard life, he deserves his mate!!!!!

😒😒😒

Surely he deserves someone who wants him as much as he wants them, no?

Non-elriel-endgame with the canon we currently have would mean Elain's choices are stripped once again since she'd have to give up/lose the love she actually wants in favour of one she doesn't want that's attached to some cultural concept that means zilch to her and her human heart. I mean, sure sjm could spin it so Elain catches feelings for Lucien and they end up happily mated. But then what is the point of having Elain constantly avoid him for three books? That's not even setting up for a good relationship bc every time they interact/meet, the communication just gets worse.

While I can honestly see the potential of gwynriel bc platonic interactions can later become romantic, I still don't ship it bc it doesn't feel right the way elriel does to me. I can def see gwynriel becoming a strong healthy friendship, but if it's endgame then Elain ends up with Lucien, whom she visibly shrinks from and has been avoiding since acowar. She doesn't feel seen by him at all - as much as I love Lucien and truly do want him to have his own HEA, we can't deny that he's really just pursuing (I use pursuing in the loosest way since he's very respectful about it 😅) Elain bc of the bond. If we take that away, there's nothing between them imo and he probably wouldn't give Elain more than a passing glance for her beauty and that's it bc she's not the type of girl he's into.

But people don't wanna think about how that makes Elain feel. This girl who previously felt seen by only one person - who then rejected her bc of that bond itself - and craves someone to see who she truly is, is being courted by someone who doesn't actually like her for her, but just the idea of what a relationship with her would entail. He's only trying bc of some divine belief she doesn't share. That must suck like hell. It's almost objectfying, the bond. And again, I don't blame Lucien at all, not even for trying bc it is something that's important to him and his culture, but it's not a mutual thing. If it were important to Elain too and she just wasn't cooperating bc of some stupid shallow reason, then I'd be angry at her. But that's not the case at all.

But with Azriel, the first person to see her since Graysen, there's so much potential for growth - for both of them. They make each other feel seen. And for all that antis say neither has grown in the time they've known each other, how did Az pluck up the courage to almost kiss Elain after having not done anything with Mor for five centuries? How did Elain initiate that kiss - ie have the courage to follow her heart again after having it torn and shredded by Graysen? And anyway, weve never seen into Elain's head so we don't know what she feels has changed within her; we can only detect subtle changes from other povs, but there might be some huge changes in her learnt from Azriel, maybe about her outlook on life/strength, that she's just keeping hidden for the time (or that no one has bothered to see bc Elain is invisible 😭). Same with Azriel. One little chapter isn't gonna tell us everything he's been thinking the past two years.

But either way, we know now that they both have feelings for each other. Why is a mutual healthy relationship shut down so quickly, one where both partners' choices are taken heed of? If Elain had said no in that moment, Azriel would've stepped back instantly, no questions asked. He probably would've have some huge internal conflict about his own self worth but he wouldn't have gone further without Elain's consent. He's already shown he respects her, he said they've been sharing looks and touches, and these are things fandom eat up, so I don't understand why it's suddenly wrong or unwanted just bc Elain makes up half the ship.

And there's so much foreshadowing/symbolism that antis seem oblivious to, which, fair enough, interpret the text how you want. But even if somebody doesn't see the spark or blooming feelings between the pair throughout the books (how do they explain away all the stiffness whenever one of them is mentioned or is in the same room or something though? Genuinely curious here), there's a lot of plot foreshadowing. The Blood Duel has now been mentioned twice, as has the idea of breaking the bond, maybe more. There's the issue with Koschei and Elain not being able to see things related to him past mist and shadow. There's all this potential conflict that could arise between the Courts if elriel pursue their love, and conflict is the driving force of any novel.

If gwynriel were an IRL couple, I wouldn't care if there were never any conflict, but if I'm reading their story, I want more than just them falling in love and having internal conflict about whether they should kiss the other or not. Especially if the backdrop is a fantasy world on the brink of war with many players. I saw a gwynriel post mentioning Merrill once and while I do think she has the potential to be a running antagonist, I don't see her as anything but a subplot/crony for/associate with another stronger villain. I don't think she could carry a whole novel at the moment. So Gwyn is tied to nothing in the overarching plot. Same with Az. Not to mention all the theories about the Koschei/Swan Lake/firebird folklore that is potentially inspiring this new series in the acotar world. Of course, this could all change as we get more info about the next book/s and all, but compared to elriel certainly, I don't think there's as much conflict with gwynriel.

Ultimately, I don't claim knowledge of the next books' content, so I don't really care what people ship, but the main thing I take issue with is how they treat Elain in the midst. A lot of gwynriel arguments I've seen portray certain acts in a romantic/positive light for Gwyn but either completely ignore or erase any semblance of romance for Elain or tear her down. Like, we shouldn't push the narrative that Gwyn as an SA survivor can't have healthy meaningful sex in the future (yeah, of course I agree), yet some of the same people who say that are also people who judge and make fun of Elain and call her too vanilla for Az without having a clue what her bedroom habits/preferences are 🤯 This is just one of many. There are so many double standards I've seen for gwynriel against elriel and I'm just tired of it. And even if they're not doing any of that, they simply hate Elain and don't want her to be with Az and so ship gwynriel as the next best alternative. Like, can they not push down Elain in favour of Gwyn, please? That's so misogynistic 🤮

For all that this fandom flaunts the series being feminist with strong female characters, they sure do a good job in tearing down females who don't fit their definition of strong, despite even Feyre stating and acknowledging multiple times that Elain has a different kind of strength 😒

Gahhhhhhh. *exhales deeeeeeeeply* Sorry this is so damn LONG!! 😅😅😅😅😅 I did not expect to write a whole bloody essay lol but I hope it was fun/comforting to read at least 😅😆 I know I fall back on elriel posts when the ship war gets too intense bc I actually enjoy shipping elriel. They've become my otp, and I absolutely adore both characters of the ship; I think most of us elriels do. I haven't really seen any elriel stans who dislike/don't care for Elain and her welfare so it's nice being in this corner of the fandom where we can appreciate both Az and Elain equally. And of course, the other characters with their due respect. I truly do want Lucien to finally get his good life, but I don't think that's with Elain 😕

[gffa]

Hi!  There are some excellent Obi-Wan and/or Ahsoka fics in the fandom!  Not all of them will necessarily feature a ton of interaction between the characters, but you will have a ton of reading material if you just enjoy reading about the characters!  I have a long archive of fic recs here, where any given list will give you at least something to check out for both characters! But if you want to hit up some of the Must Read Firsts, LET ME HELP WITH THAT. OBI-WAN & AHSOKA: A Future in Crisis by WolfMarauder is a fic where Ahsoka has a vision of the terrible future to come, so she returns to the Jedi,  works through her feelings and starts working on saving the rest of the galaxy. At it’s heart it’s very much an Ahsoka story, about her figuring herself and her relationships out, as much as it is about being a fix-it fic.  There’s such a warmth and charm to this fic that it’s like being in a warm bath and relaxing into it.  There’s very much a plot going on here, a complicated relationship with Anakin because of Everything, but it’s balanced with something that feels really, really good to read. The Journey of the Lights by Pandora151 is a fic that I got sucked into and couldn’t stop until I’d finished the first one, because it’s a Canon Divergent AU where things go just a little differently, things snowball, and it’s painful but so good and ultimately I think things end up in a better place.  Another great fic if you want plot, super satisfying confrontations that have been building for ages, and a progression towards things changing, in a way that’s often not easy, but works. Chosen, not assigned by Lysore is one where, ultimately, Anakin and Ahsoka’s relationship became absolutely incredible and Yoda was right about how good they were for each other, but what would it have been like if things were nudged a little to the left and she’d been chosen by Obi-Wan instead?  That she’d felt directly wanted from the beginning instead?  And it’s a lovely piece that explores that! Tano and Kenobi by FireflyFish is a time travel fic with Ahsoka going back to the past, taking a young Obi-Wan as her Padawan instead.  The fic is admittedly pretty hard on Qui-Gon, as well as their dynamic is different here because this is an Obi-Wan who is not yet an adult, but Ahsoka is, so they’re very changed from how they were before.  But it’s two and a half novels worth of plot and development and fun and angst and action!  It’s an incredibly written fic and does so much to really build up what it’s going for and really earns the massive changes it’s making.  Fishy is an amazing writer and I love the wide span of dynamics she gets into this story, so many different relationships, even as Ahsoka & Obi-Wan is the central one!  PLUS TIME TRAVEL FIX IT FIC, YESSS. Declarations by Nny11 is a series of scenes exploring Obi-Wan and Ahsoka’s relationship and I always like anything I read by this author.  I haven’t finished this one yet, but I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read of Close But No Cigar (Ahsoka-centric fic where the timeline is changed a little and she’s Yoda’s Padawan instead and it spirals out from there) and Let's Try This Again with a time-traveling Ahsoka in toddler form (so it’s more Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) is probably my favorite of the author’s! Waiting and Learning by otherhawk is a lovely piece for Obi-Wan & Ahsoka that’s balanced between hilarious antics and the more painful aspects of what it means to be a psychic space wizard who wants to help people.  There’s such kindness here, even as it aches, in a way that’s very deftly done. The Only Way Through by victoria_p (musesfool) is a shorter piece, but has this really well done balance between the familiarity between them and yet how they’ve both grown so much older, during Obi-Wan’s time on Tatooine.  There’s so much pain in the background, but that doesn’t mean there’s not still moments and sparks of light to be found, which is perfect for them. Under a purple sun... by Perspicacia is Obi-Wan helping Ahsoka with her homework and it’s short but so lovely, it does a fantastic job with their dynamic and weaves in a few really nice details about Jedi philosophy that are hinted at, and is just warm and charming exactly as it should be. The Ryloth Excursion by Icarus_is_flying is one I love, where Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are on Ryloth, where she asks some questions that don’t have easy answers (but aren’t awful questions, either), and Obi-Wan’s guidance as her grandmaster is absolutely wonderful. Knight-Errant by zinjadu is about three novels worth of fic, which doesn’t have a lot of them interacting directly, but Ahsoka is probably the most central character and Obi-Wan has a lot of scenes in it, plus SO MUCH PLOT.  I’ve read about a third of the series so far and it’s incredibly engaging, where Ahsoka’s choice to stay with the Jedi helps shift things a little to the left, then a little more to the left, and suddenly everything is snowballing, all the same pieces we’re familiar with are in different places and maybe they might have a chance!  It is Rex/Ahsoka eventually, but it’s a very slow burn to get there and it’s not the only relationship that’s important to them.  It’s an Ahsoka piece and an ensemble piece and a fix it piece and a huge sprawling plot epic, and I’m loving it a lot. When Darkness Seems to Hide This Place by IllyanaA is another one where Obi-Wan and Ahsoka don’t interact directly a lot, but they’re both very present in the story and get some really excellent scenes.  The Jedi manage to scrape a few more people together, Anakin doesn’t turn on them, so they’re still in the middle of a galaxy that’s hunting them down, but now they might be able to mount a fighting chance sooner than before.  The Obi-Wan & Anakin scenes are stellar, Ahsoka gets her own subplot, and it’s a lot of really excellent plot as they figure out how to rebuild in this new Empire. Echoes of Mortis by orphan_account is more Obi-Wan & Anakin + Anakin & Ahsoka, but both are well done here, and the plot is excellent.  It’s marked as incomplete, but I would say that it reaches a place of good resolution and I felt satisfied by the ending!  In a Canon Divergent AU, where Anakin remembers everything that happened on Mortis, things go a little differently.  Which is very, very much not the same as easier, but it does lead to better places, even when everything is painful and ouchy in the best ways.  A lot of angst, but the kind I eat up with a spoon, it was so good. Obi-Wan and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad (Life) Day by orphan_account is charming and adorable, that Obi-Wan’s life day is beset upon him by the people who care about him and it’s just an absolute JOY to read. OBI-WAN KENOBI: Fire and Ice by Yesac is the one fic I always, always come back to, the one I keep rereading and the one I would put at the very top of my list of fics that I think really wrote Obi-Wan brilliantly.  Oh, sure, there’s some stuff I disagree with, a few brief bits of the Jedi weren’t allowed to love or the like, but they’re extremely minor in a fic that shows otherwise.  This is a fic where Anakin won the duel on Mustafar and kept Obi-Wan and Padme hostage both, unable to let either of them go.  This is an Anakin who has this tremendous power but no core of self-understanding, so he’s legitimately unstable, you feel how fragile and cracked he is.  In comparison, Obi-Wan is steady and unbreakable, even when he’s entirely human.  This fic gets the balance of that, of who Obi-Wan is and how he relates to Anakin Skywalker, in that way that I can’t even be coherent about because it’s so well done.  Yeah, I’m probably overhyping it, but this one is just my fucking jam. starbird by imaginarykat is the other fic that I always come back to as a fic that really gets Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mix of flirtation and humor and seriousness and insight and how he’s both direct and wily at the same time, that Anakin’s just kind of spun around by him when Obi-Wan really focuses on him.  Yeah, wicked thing is the more popular one by this author (for good reason!) but I always love starbird for the one I can point to as a more canon-friendly version of Why I Love Obi-Wan Kenobi So Much.  (Obikin.) The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by A_Delicate_Fury is a brilliantly done time travel fic where Obi-Wan, Luke, Leia, and Han end up back in the past and even in just the smallest of gestures, this fic gets Obi-Wan, all the more so because it’s balancing a character who is both the General Kenobi of the war and the Old Ben of Tatooine as they suddenly find themselves occupying the same mental space! Cataclasm by dendral is another excellent fic that does right by Obi-Wan’s character, where he gets a vision of something and decides he needs to take another path in this terrible war they’ve all been dragged into.  He takes Waxer along for the ride, going around the galaxy where the Force leads them, getting into batshit Jedi scrapes, trying his best to save people, and it’s this really beautifully done action fic, buddy fic, and examination of what the war has done to the Jedi and why it’s such a tragedy. The Living Force; Parables for Padawans by glorious_clio is a beautiful piece for both Obi-Wan as a character and for a story-within-a-story about what a Jedi fairy tale would be like.  It does such a beautiful job of telling interesting stories, the kind that would be used to make generations of Jedi think and turn them over and find meaning in them, while also illustrating the deeper meaning of the lines that make up their most famous meditation mantra. Stunning work. Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by stonefreeak is an ensemble piece, but it’s centered around Obi-Wan and is really great if you’re a fan of his character, where he has pretty much The Most Exasperating Day Ever and winds up elected as Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and then everything starts slowly inching towards the left, now that the Jedi and the good people of the Senate have some actual breathing room.  It’s about what might have been possible in a galaxy with a little more good faith to go around, as well as a great look at Obi-Wan’s relationships with various characters.  An absolute scream to read, but also a really delightful plot. Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove is a fic that is very much based on Legends, rather than on canon/George Lucas’ Star Wars, so you have to roll with that when you pick this fic up (which I find useful to note mainly in the context of those who find my recs useful/want a heads up, never really as a value judgement), but what you’ll get is an incredibly thoughtful, warm-hearted fic that I found to be incredibly engaging and charming. The entire fic is about Obi-Wan trying to figure out just how to train Anakin and how to fit him into the bigger structure of the Jedi Order, how to adjust himself and that structure to better fit his new Padawan and the other Jedi learners, but in a way that’s also about understanding why they’re set up the way they are, about how deeply caring they are, and how thoughtful they are. It’s a good faith look at the Jedi and a great look at Obi-Wan’s character. Reprise by Elfpen is another fic that I’m only a third of the way through so far (I’ve been hoarding it for awhile) but it has some absolutely stellar Obi-Wan characterization, who is someone that’s really Seen Some Shit, who feels kind of lost sometimes, who feels things very deeply, but who also has a kind of strength that allows him to continue rising above.  It’s not that he’s untouchable by mortal feelings, but that he’s used to understanding himself, acknowledging himself, and working through what needs to be worked through.  Combine this with some really stellar writing for Qui-Gon, for Obi-Wan’s younger self, for the other Jedi around him, for the plot, and it really is one of the best fics in the fandom. The Exchange by MissLearn is one of those that I absolutely fell in love with, where Obi-Wan and Anakin exchange places with their TPM and pre-ROTS selves, which leads to a lot of shit hitting the fan in a way that is forcing things to a head a little earlier, so they can deal with it in a way that they couldn’t in canon.  It’s a great look at their relationship, both the beginning of it and the established one, as well as the glee of having them in different eras and seeing how they react/how the people around them react! The Hand Dealt by not paranoid enough is another favorite, where it’s about a simple twist that changes so much--instead of Qui-Gon going to Tatooine, it’s Obi-Wan who meets Anakin first, and that shifts everything to the left just enough that everything is so recognizable and yet different.  It’s an engrossing read as things happen differently, some good and some bad, and it’s an amazing read. Though Lovers Be Lost by panharmonium is a shorter but absolutely fantastic look at Obi-Wan’s character.  I love all of pan’s fic, The Mathematics of Repair and Take My Waking Slow are both great looks at Obi-Wan and Anakin’s early days, but I think the first one is a great starting place for a fan of his character, it’s beautifully written. After the Pillars Come Down by Virgo827 is a fic that deserves so much love because it’s one of those that, aside from the acknowledgement of Obikin, it could have fit right into an episode of The Clone Wars.  It does a lovely job of Obi-Wan being level-headed and focused, but that something about Anakin makes him lose his mind a little, that Anakin is that one person that he finds it difficult to remain calm about, which speaks to how blind he was towards Anakin’s faults, because he loved that guy so much.  It also has a real, genuine plot that’s a fantastic read, it has amazing Anakin moments, and it was an incredibly satisfying read. Equinox by lilyconrad is a fic I’ll never not be biased about, because it was written for me and tailored to my wants, but I genuinely hold this up as one of the best examinations of Obi-Wan’s character and his relationship with Anakin, as it moves from one of friends to one of lovers.  It’s a look at what having Sith versions of themselves means for parallels and contrasts alike, what that forces Anakin and Obi-Wan to understand about themselves and their feelings towards the other.  And it has a fantastic plot!  Every chapter of this fic was one I wrote like three paragraphs of a rec for because it had such thought and care put into it, so it’s probably always and forever my #1 Obikin fic. Upfall by bell (belldreams) is a stellar Obikin read for both Obi-Wan and Anakin’s characters, where so much thought has gone into each chapter, as well as some incredibly building tension and breaking.  This is a fic that is very, very aware of Anakin’s character arc in canon and the things he does there, as well as it’s an incredible look at Obi-Wan trying to balance his own boundaries, that he’s allowed to have his own internal world that’s not just about Anakin, versus that Anakin is the one he’ll always choose, even when he’s being a shit.  Seed is another one I love (Anakin contracts a virus that means he needs to give Obi-Wan blowjobs and then, oh, no, feelings happen) that does an amazing job of looking at the characters and digging into the issues they have.  bell really gets the both of them and these are incredible reads for them. Pas de Deux by Ghost_Owl is a lovely look at Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka.  Well, it’s primarily Obi-Wan and Anakin, but it’s about Anakin’s relationship with Ahsoka in the background as well, shown through the lens of Obi-Wan & Anakin.  I love this one because it’s about how difficult it is to balance that Obi-Wan was his Master, but is now his friend, that Anakin bends over backwards to lash out sometimes, instead of listening, instead of still accepting Obi-Wan’s guidance, but that they can muddle their way through to something good again.  And its characterization is lovely, too! AHSOKA TANO: What We've Become by Vinyarie is probably my favorite Ahsoka fic, where the first one is an absolutely gorgeous look at her getting trapped on Malachor with Vader, where they have to depend on each other to live, which gives them time to breathe and then argue some more.  The characterization for her is spot-on, where she is a grown woman who is settled in her own skin, that she still feels deeply but she has a hell of a grip on herself.  That she may not be a Jedi anymore, but she still carries their teachings in her heart, and that strength of her sense of self is beautifully shown.  The second fic is one where she visits Obi-Wan on Tatooine and I loved the conversation they have, as well as the digging into her character even further and what she really wants from here. time to change the road you’re on by wreckageofstars is time travel fic with Ahsoka and is another absolutely stellar look at her character, that it’s partly about her relationships with others (especially Anakin) but is also about her coming to understanding about everything around her and even herself somewhat.  This is an older Ahsoka, the one who has settled into her own skin more, and it’s a beautiful look at her AND a time travel plot! Old Sins Cast Long Shadows by zarabithia is an AU where Anakin died in the fight against Palpatine and the galaxy has to continue on without him.  Ahsoka takes up the job of protecting Padme on Tatooine, giving her time to heal from everything that’s happened, as well as Obi-Wan eventually joins them, and it’s a lovely look at Ahsoka’s character and the dull ache of Anakin being dead in this universe, but knowing that things are so, so much better here. Strange Meetings by gilestel is a beautiful post-Return of the Jedi scene between Ahsoka and Luke, where they don’t have much time to talk, but the potential of it and promise of it and just the immediacy of the moment are all lovely. memories like ashes at our feet by ambiguously is another shorter fic but a fantastic one where Ahsoka is stranded with an amnesiac Vader and has to walk the line between that this is something of her Anakin back, but also that this is still Darth Vader and he could regain his memories at any point.  It’s aching and hopeful in all the right places. The Season's Rain by Bythoseburningembers is an absolute scream of a fic, where Lux and Steela and Saw join Ahsoka in the Jedi camp, where they get to see them in a more relaxed state and they are all a bunch of absolute CHILDREN.  It’s one of those fics that could have been bordering on parody, but the strength of the writing and the charm of the characterizations instead makes it a fantastic look at the Jedi and clones being entirely relatable, being family to each other, and I love everyone in this, including Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. The Cave by Ria Talla (ronia) is one where absolutely fell in love with this gorgeous fic because it pulls off a dreamy mishmash of imagery and slipping from one memory/moment to the next beautifully, it does a gorgeous job of making Ahsoka feel unstuck in time after the events on Malachor. Which is wonderful in and of itself, but it lends such a great weight to the cost of traveling through the World Between Worlds as she did, that there’s a reason that it’s not a thing to use lightly, and it’s not punishment, but consequence all the same, as the fic says.  It has some really great characterization for her, too.

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space Reviewcaps: The Hidden Light or Beelzbub’s Dad and Death Himself

Welcome back all you happy people! My regular coverage of final space continues as our Team Squad continues to be split up. Team Gary heads to the ruins of France and while HUE lives the dream, Gary finds the architect of his misery might also be the archtetcht of hope when he meets KVN’s creator.  Meanwhile Team Avacato find some friends of some friends... and an old enemy horrifically reborn and just as pants crappingly terrifying as before. Find out whose back, whose just been introduced, and whose resting under the cut!

So once again i’ts time for roll call, as our Team Squad has been split into three groups so Team Gary: Gary, Quinn, KVN, HUE Team Avacato: Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, Sheryl.  Team Bollo: Bollo, Mooncake

Same as last time and if your wondering why some names are missing from Avacato’s team, we will get to that. And since our three plots are entirely seperated from the start this time...

Team Gary: The Father of Beelzbub is A Moderaltey Tolerable Guy Picking up where we left off, Gary and Quinn gaze at earth though we do find out, naturally, the other half of the team is okay when Avacato buzzes in, confirming he’s alive at least. So with half the team stranded in the depths of final space, Gary’s next idea is naturally to plummet to earth and pick up a ship to pick them up. HUE has some flaws in the plan, i.e. the earth’s gravity field but KVN proves useful for once and helps carry them down to earth, our heroes ending up in Paris. 

We get a fun subplot of HUE thoroughly enjoying his dream of visiting Paris in a body.. even though Paris itself is pretty fucking horrific, littered with floating corpses and with a smokey, unnerving atmosphere. But the contrast works.. what dosen’t is the ships our heroes fine, which are junked, likely due to months of having no mainteince coupled with the destruction brought on by the titans. 

Gary does find something.. his worst nightmare.. a bunker FULL of KVN’s “I always thought i’d die like this”. They thankfully don’t want to kill him, and he finds a dwarf ventrixian whose a fan of his as are the KVN’s. As it turns out they somehow watched all his video logs to Quinn, and the little guy saying Quinn is even more beautful than he imagined lets him live when Quinn shows up. Gary is naturally puzzled why someone would create his worst nightmare, an army of kvns who know his personal details... until we find out who created the bunker: Kevin, the genius scientest who created the KVN’s. 

Naturally Gary has as mature, sensible and calm reaction as you’d expect and he goes to see Kevin’s dad without innocent....

Had you there for zero seconds. No he has a fairly fluid and incredibly well voiced freakout ending in him wanting to burn the place to the ground in cleansing fire. It’s.. actually a very good thing Quinn’s the one who went with him as everyone on the other team except MAYBE Avacato would’ve gone with operation BURN THEM, BURN ALLL OF THEM. 

So while Gary can’t burn them he does go to shoot Kevin’s creator in the head after finding out he’s alive and still in the bunker. And.. he actually is alive. It’s a nice change of pace as in most sci fi stories where we find the robot first the creator is long dead. But no Kevin.. is alive. It takes a bit for him to accept this is really happening due to a combination of Gary’s transmissions..and Nightfall having contacted him to make a ship. I’ts only when he tries throwing something at Quinn does he realize that nope these are real peoples and gladly welcome them for some rest so theyc an go find the ship he made for Nightfall. Relately the one major flaw I have with this episode.. is that it takes Gary and Quinn an embarassingly long time to put two and two together. Gary I get, he’s kind of distracted being caught in a waking nightmare and finding out he needs to rely on the man who ruined 5 years of his life. He’s also Gary. It’s okay. Quinn though, even with months of trauma stuck in a hell dimension.. is still the resonable one and still should’ve figured “Hey maybe the alternate future verison of me who was around back then did this”. The reveal is well done towards the end when it happens.. it’s just very weird it didn’t happen sooner. 

So the couple are FINALLY alone.. for about 5 seconds because Kevin gets into bed with them. And while part of his loopiness is probably the horrifying isolation for the last few months, after all Gary wasn’t exactly the most coherent after his stint in prison, I do feel that at least part of it is just him. It just makes the most sense: the infinity guard massed produced the guys and Kevin was one of their top scientests. He likely didn’t half ass a project of this size or importance.. so it’d make sense that instead the KVN’s suck at their job because the person who made them really dosen’t get humans, or personal space and the KVN’s are simply degraded copies of him. 

We do get a sweet moment with Quinn and Gary before Kevin decides they’ve rested enough time to go. They use the KVN’s to head to belgium, where the ship is, but have to fight Landfish, horrifying monsters that feast on the remains of dead worlds. So we get a fun and tense action sequence as our heroes sorta zipline through the monsters and KVN suprisingly turns out ot be useful twice in one episode. Our heroes make it to the ship, though HUE is down two arms and his self esteem, with Kevin asking why an AI would WANT to put themselves in a garbage bot. HUE admits he just wanted to experince life but it comes at a cost.. which granted the loss of arms seems rushed.. but it’s not like pre-AVA most of his life as a robot was that happy or fufilling so it dosen’t come out of nowhere and the person who MADE it better... is now dead and gone. He has no real reason to stay in the body anymore: He’s tasted life, he’s loved, and he’s lost. 

So naturally he goes back to being the AI on their new ship, which Quinn Dubs the Galaxy 2 because naturally Gary’s name tries too hard and Kevin’s is nonsensical.. though really Galaxy 2 itself just.. isn’t a great name. Seriously call it the purple rain or something. Still it’s a cool looking ship and while i’ll BADLY miss the crimson light as Olan designed a really fucking cool ship there, the Galaxy 2 is none too shabby. So our heroes have there ship, HUE has his old Job back, and we get a sobering scene as Quinn and Gary finallyg et the nightfall thing, and Kevin leaves to go get the portal up and running and he’ll call them.. they don’t have his number but he’ll be in england where the project is so it’s not like they can’t find the crazy man when the time comes. So we end with Team Gary heading off to a huge energy signture to hopefully find someone. Who it is, if it’s even one of our groups, is unknown.. but given the stinger it’s probably Bollo and Mooncake.. but we’llg et to that. First

Team Avacato: FUCK

So on their astroid Sheryl wonders if the plan is to just stand around and wait for Gary. Tribore however.. wants to leave again. Despite being in an edltrich space nightmare, he decides to take some paternety leave and cuts off part of the asteroid to go bond with his son leaving us with five heroes who all quickly get abducted by teleportation. 

Their abductors.. are Arachnitects, the last ones left in final space who intially confuse them as part of of Invictus unholy horde before Little Cato brings up Jeremy, and thus they free them and explain what’s up: as said their the last ones left in final space, the only ones who weren’t slaughtered or escape and try to offer our heroes hope and shelter.. before brutally being slaughtered by telekensisis... and it’s with that... HE has returned. While the trailers made no attempt to hide it and it was blatant from the start of last season he woudl return.. it dosent’ make his return any less chilling or impactful or David Tennant’s performance any less terrifying after being gone for a bit: Lord Commander HAS RETURNED

And make no mistake, hopefully, this is OUR Lord Commander, as he comments on the new additions.. and is GLEEFUL to have new toys to play with. Avacato is naturally horrifed he’s back and tries to just shoot him but that’s as effective as it’s always been, and he simply force lifts all of them, and naturally, being a sadsitic bastard, brings LIttle Cato forward as he wants to know where Mooncake is, though Little Cato makes a valid point: he dosen’t know where Mooncake is and even if he DID he wouldn’t tell him. And.. that’s where this part of the plot ends till next week. I”m fucking terrified. Nice to have David back though. Especially with Ducktales over. And as a side note... it’s notable Ash doesn’t try triggering her powers. Either she can’t and Lord Commander’s even stronger than her, or she just hasn’t yet. Or third horrifying option i’m going with thier powers come from the same source. 

Team Bollo:The Forge

So with Gary hopefully coming to the rescue and the rest of our heroes trapped by a sadistic bastard who will likely gleefully kill at least one of them.. we find out where Bolo went after getting his ass kicked. He surivived.. but clearly needs a leg up.. so naturally for a charcter voiced by Keith David he goes about it in the most badass way imaginable: he has mooncake do the thing on a dwarf star so he can FORGE IT INTO A FUCKING BADASS SPACE SWORD TO SLAY THE TITANS WITH. My.. my body is ready for next week. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode was excellent. The premire while not BAD had some issues with pacing and tone, where as this one found the perfect places to inject the series humor.. while keeping the stakes incredibly high and having the chilling return of it’s most terrifying antagonist. and yes tha’t swith the people posseing murder face out there. This episode returned Season 3 to the right track. It also continues to be seralized like season 1.. but I feel at least so far they’ve learned their lesson from Seasons 1 and 2 and combined the two better, having basically one big story, but having the pacing be more on par with Season 2 where things move along at a nice clip and we get more character stuff peppered in. It’s a nice combo. if it’ll hold out I do not know, especaillly with a longer runtime but we’ll see as we go won’t we. For now.. this episode was fucking awesome. 

If you liked this review join my patreon, my current stretch goal is for a darkwing duck episode a month and i’ll be putting up a patreon exclusive review soon for 5 dollar or more patreons so check that out, follow me for more and if there’s any episodes of the show from seasons 1 or 2 you’d like me to cover we can discuss that in my ask box and dm,s only 5 bucks an episode. See you at the next rainbow. 

[missnight0wl]

Unpopular opinion: I wish dating was never introduced to HPHM.

I was always rather open about the fact that I don’t have much interest in dating content in HPHM, so you might say it’s very subjective rambling. But I think I also have some more objective arguments for that statement, so… hear me out (or don’t; I can’t tell you what to do).

Some spoilers for the Festival Fun TLSQ, the Celestial Ball TLSQ, the First Date TLSQ, the Valentine’s Day TLSQ, the All-Wizards Tournament TLSQ, and “Cooking Up Trouble” SQ.

First of all, I want to address the most obvious counterargument for my wish: “but people want dating!”. Yeah, I know. But here’s a thing. A long time ago, almost at the very beginning of the game’s existence, when we were only speculating about any love interests, people were referencing one article. The article where the creators claimed that romance is planned for the future (among other things). And if you ask me, it was their mistake. It was a mistake because it created expectations which they had to react to. The problem is that they were never ready to introduce such type of content. I mean, just look at the past events. Andre mentioned dating when he was first introduced back in Y3 (!), and he said then that most people don’t date until they’re in the fourth year. And yes, the Celestial Ball was eventually placed as Y4 Achievement, but the main story was well into Y5 already! What I take from this is that at best, they had only a rough idea for the ball when they wrote Andre’s comment in Y3 (if it took them so long to actually create the quest). And so, I have to wonder – why they even talked about dating in Y3 if they were not ready? Now, I’m not saying that nobody would ask for dating if Jam City didn’t mention it in that article, or Andre omitted that topic in Y3. There’d definitely be people still wishing for some romance. But there’d be no actual reasons to expect that. Because HPHM was created as a mystery story (even if people don’t remember about it anymore), and a mystery story doesn’t really need romance.

The second thing I’d like to point out for the sake of this discussion is that the dating quests require quite a lot of work from the devs team. Admittedly, the quality of those efforts is sometimes questionable, but still. I’m also no tech or game design expert, but here are some things which I believe make dating quests more time-consuming than most of the others:

Designing outfits. Each of the datable characters is given a new outfit (+ new outfits for MC). I also want to notice that most of those outfits are one-time-use. Well, except maybe for the bundles available to buy for real money…

Creating new locations/characters. To be fair, some of “regular” quests require those too, although the majority uses things already existing and being used in the main story.

Creating new animations: dancing, holding hands, pecks on the cheek, more (new) dancing.

Creating multiple routes for different date options – and even if it’s mostly copy-paste, it takes time nonetheless.

To be clear, creating new things for the game is not bad. My point is that basically every dating adventure required ALL of that invested in one single quest – and pretty much none of that can be reused outside of dating. In fact, they’re not even reusing those animations completely for each new date. The kiss from the Valentine’s Day was different from the recent one, the Festival had new dances added to make it more diverse in comparison to the Celestial Ball etc. And what those unique quests have to offer? One cute moment with your date, which is… kind of meaningless. I’m sorry, but dating stories are basically irrelevant in the bigger picture. I mean, yeah, they’re adorable, but that’s it. And it’s just NOT proportional to all the work put into them. Because look…

The dating quests add very little to nothing to flesh out the characters – and if they do, it has nothing to do with dating.

The Celestial Ball did a pretty great job at adding to Rowan and Ben. People often criticise MC for “forcing” them to come to the party, but the problem was clearly about them feeling not good enough to go (not necessarily about them not wanting to go), and so I really loved working on their self-confidence. Bill also grew a lot in that quest, overcoming his rejection from Emily Tyler. Andre discovered his styling talent, so he was no longer “just” a brilliant Quidditch player. Even Penny had some insecurities to face as she wanted to prove that she’s not only popular but she can also create fantastic decorations. So… couldn’t it just be a quest about FRIENDSHIP and our friends growing? The whole dating subplot felt kind of forced to me, or maybe rather detached. Not to mention that THAT was kind of a dick move to leave Rowan and Ben after using the argument:

The next quests were more oriented on dating itself, but at the same time, they’re focused less on the characters’ individual personalities. Sure, there are some differences between dates, but it’s more about distinction than adding anything new. For instance, in the Festival Fun TLSQ, every character yells out loud that you’re on a date (unless you chose to keep it a secret), MC just points out that it’s unlike them in the case of Talbott, Jae, and Chiara. Next example: I thought it’s pretty amusing that Jae writes dreadful poems with cheap rhymes, but it turns out that the note with Butterbeer could also be left by Barnaby. I know that in MY playthrough, Barnaby didn’t leave it, but I can’t see it as Jae’s characteristic, simply because it wasn’t written for his character – it was written to fit Jae and Barnaby, so it’s kinda meaningless in my eyes.

Another thing is that even if those dates added something individual, it’d be relevant only for a limited audience. Like, I’m really happy for people who wanted to date Badeea, but for me, she barely existed in this quest. It added NOTHING to her character. During the First Date quest, Tulip revealed that girls in her family are being named after flowers (her cousin is called Marigold), which is a pretty neat fact, but I wouldn’t know it if I didn’t put extra effort to see different options. And believe me, there’s a big part of the payers who don’t do it. I’m still seeing on social media people being surprised that Rowan’s gender and House are connected to MC’s.

And speaking of that already: this is why the dating options are being cut off. And honestly, it sucks, but I get it, I really do. The devs have to spend the same amount of time on a character dated by 6% of the players as on a character dated by 36% of the players. Let’s add real money to that, and let’s say that 10% of all players buy gems/energy on TLSQs. Jam City will make more money out of that 36% than out of 6% - it’s as simple as that. At the end of the day, they are a business. Would it be nice to make all players happy? Of course, but it’s easier to keep the majority happy.

The dating quests don’t really matter for the main story – and they won’t matter more in the future.

Why? Because it’d be too complicated at this point. All we’re getting (and what we’ll ever get) are subtle differences in dialogues. And you know what? Even that doesn’t matter much. For example, in Y6, there’s a scene where Talbott calls MC to the Owlery and offers his help in searching through the letters. He talks then about their friendship, and if you took him on a date, he mentions it as well. The thing is that Talbott is pretty heart-warming here in general, how he opens on us being friends:

Sure, that one additional line is pretty cute, but again, is it really a satisfying pay-off from the dating quest, considering how much was put into it? And I don’t think they even can do more because they always have to keep in mind the players who didn’t manage to finish TLSQs in time or just didn’t want to do it.

I don’t want to be only negative about dating because that’s not really my point, so here are some ideas on how to invest all of that time better (and no, it’s not just the lore and in-depth history of the Cursed Vaults because I know I’m in the minority who cares about it):

More outfits for NPCs which could be used for variety. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of seeing characters like Penny, Merula, Ben, or Talbott in their full school robes ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Ideally, I wish every character to have three outfits: full school robes, some variety of a uniform (so something like Tulip and Barnaby) used in the school but outside of classes, and something totally casual used outside of the castle.

More animations between characters like hugs, patting on the arm etc. Anything which could be used almost on a daily basis, and which would make our interactions looks more natural and less stiff. Seriously, I’ll take a supportive hug instead of a peck on the cheek ANY DAY.

More character-centric quests. So many of our friends need their own SQ: Tulip, Badeea, Liz, Diego. The rest could probably also use them to expand their characters – because those SQs do a great job at this. Like, I took Jae to the festival, and it was alright, but to be completely honest, his “Cooking Up Troubles” SQ was SO MUCH BETTER for his character. We learnt new things about Jae, we had some really cute friendship moments (like this and this)… And it was a super simple quest with only seven parts in total! It just needed to be written: no new locations, animations etc. Yet, the pay-off was just… better, more meaningful.

Another thing that could be done in those character-centric quests is more focus on the relationships between our friends because, in my opinion, this is needed as well. I want to talk here a little about the “All-Wizards Tournament” TLSQ, which I think is really underrated. This is probably because of people claiming that Jam City is reaching too much to reference the books events AND because of Rowan’s absence. And don’t get me wrong, those are valid objections. But when it comes to the characters… this TLSQ was pretty great. We saw a lot of our friends' insecurities (Barnaby, Jae, Liz), we saw their more competitive side (Andre, Badeea)… Badeea was especially interesting to me as she showed that she can be quite cunning when she somehow learnt about the first task. She also didn’t reveal that information to Merula and Ismelda because they were occupying the training dummies, but she did share with MC (meaning that you really want to have her on your side…).

It somehow made me think about the situation from Y5 when she admitted that she tricked Jae into thinking that she knows Apparition by using an Invisibility Cloak. It’s nice to know there’s more to her than meets the eye, which was also cohesive with the main story (even if we don’t see it much). The TLSQ also showed some dynamics between our friends, like Jae and Andre (which I mentioned here). And of course, I really enjoyed the ending conclusion: that some tasks can be dealt with only when you work together. Again, I’d love to see this theme being explored more because it creates such a compelling contrast between Jacob and MC. Jacob didn’t have many friends at school. We only know about Duncan and Olivia, and it’s still unclear if Olivia was an actual friend or a colleague they worked with. Not to mention that it was implied that for some time, Jacob was working all alone. Meanwhile, MC has basically the whole army at this point. It’d be interesting to see that this is one of the things which makes MC stronger than their brother.

Now, the reason why the “All-Wizards Tournament” TLSQ could focus on all of that is because we didn’t waste the time on all of “secret admires mystery”, “oh, who should I choose” etc. So, just as a thought experiment, let’s think about how the Festival Fun could improve if we’d eliminate the dating aspect. First of all, more characters could get more screen time, like Badeea, maybe Tulip… Liz? Diego (our dancer!)? Ismelda? Even Talbott didn’t have a big role unless you chose him as a date. The plot could also be more dynamic instead of a whole bunch of stalling. I’d leave the investigation with Andre because I think it’s a great addition to his character, but it’s also fucking sad that any development he’s getting is around dating. Like, the boy deserves so much better. So, let’s change that! Let’s say he asks MC for help because he’s styling some summer outfits for the upcoming festival, but one of his fabrics is missing. Perhaps it’s a bit more expensive material, so they suspect that Jae might’ve “borrowed” it to make some money. Jae, of course, is deeply insulted because he’s a smuggler and an occasional cheater, but not a thief! They argue with Andre, but eventually, they come to understanding. Then, MC remembers that Badeea wanted to experiment with painting methods, so perhaps she decided to incorporate some fabric into that. We find Badeea and Barnaby, they don’t have what we’re looking for, but there’s some action going on there, maybe including Talbott… Long story short, it turns out that Tulip needed it in preparation for Cruppies race or something. I don’t know, I’m coming up with it pretty much as I write. The point is that the time spent on talking about dating could’ve been used on something more specific, individual, which could be more meaningful in the light of the main story. And since there’d be no routes, all of that would be relevant for everyone after completing the quest. Want it to be even better? Make it a regular side quest, not time-limited.

All right, but couldn’t we just have both: characters development and dating? Of course, that’d be ideal. But as I said before, Jam City is a business and rarely any business is ideal. They’ll always prioritise a limited number of things, and since people whine about dating, we’re getting dating. And again, I’m not saying that dating is totally worthless, and I get that people find it cute and whatnot. I just believe that what dating ultimately adds to the game is not proportionate to the time and effort those quests require to be created. That it could’ve been invested better. Dating is basically stopping us from getting better content (at least in some areas). And we’re kind of asking for that…

[astoldbygingersnaps]

Harper’s 2020 Fic Wrap-Up

my very good friend and incredibly talented felow writer @sagemoderocklee came up with the idea of doing an end of the year fic wrapup in an attempt to polish the turd known as 2020, and since i actually managed to get some writing done this year i figured, why not jump on the bandwagon? 

a lot of super duper fucking shitty things happened in 2020, but i will always be proud that in this incredibly chaotic, stressful, and challenging year i managed to produce almost 180k of content (and that’s not even counting the writing i started in 2020 but haven’t published yet). so, to celebrate what’s been a pretty big achievement for me, i wanted to go through the various projects i’ve spent the last twelve months working on and give a preview of my plans for 2021.

let’s jump in!

projects i worked on/completed in 2020:

first off, let’s start with the beast to end all beasts, my personal baby, and honestly probably the reason most people follow me -- star trek au:

something bigger than the sky (shiita; 44,163 words; completed): 

i’ve said this before, but the whole idea for star trek au was literally just a joke between me and my-then girlfriend, now-fiancee, and eternal shiita enabler alexa aka @durintrash (by the way, if you follow me for my fics and you DON’T follow alexa for her corresponding art WHAT, exactly, are you doing with your life????) where i sat in a space-themed diner and said ‘haha imagine itachi as a vulcan.’ but then i blinked and suddenly somehow i’d written the prologue and the first chapter of SBTTS in the span of a week. it’s like i was possessed by a fanfic demon.

it sounds super cheesy but i honestly can’t say enough how important this fic has been to me and how much it’s pushed me to be a more productive and more dedicated writer. previously i spent a lot of time Thinking about writing and occasionally i’d put a few words on the page and then i’d go... do... something... else. but star trek au was the first idea i loved enough that it actually pushed me to write and keep writing and not give up even when i was confronted with things like writer’s block and worry over the quality of my writing. so thank you, star trek au, for being the light in a very dark year for me. 

by the end of SBTTS, i felt like i accomplished everything i wanted to do with the story’s beginning installment: i introduced all the characters and set the groundwork for their development; i showed what life on the corvus was like and how starfleet, the federation, and the universe functioned; and, more than anything, i was able to sketch out both the main protagonists -- itachi and shisui -- with all their strengths and flaws, show their relationship to one another, and hint at how that relationship would progress. 

all the stars are closer (shiita; 75,195 words; completed)

considering how slow i used to be at writing, i thought it would be, like, twelve years before i managed to get to the second part in the series. BUT then covid happened and i half-lost, half-quit my job, and like a lot of people this year i ended up with a lot of free time on my hands. and so, like a fucking demon, i finished this part in two and a half months. 

when i originally planned this part out, i really thought it would be a lot shorter and a lot lighter atmosphere-wise than it turned out. instead, this second section of the story ended up being pretty meaty in terms of length and in subject.

that said, overall, i’m really happy with how ATSAC turned out. i loved the way the characters progressed, how the relationships deepened, and how we were able to see this universe grow bigger and more complicated. and i’m very satisifed with how it set the stage for part three, which takes us to...

lovers alone wear sunlight (shiita; 41,518 words; in progress)

there’s... a lot about this part that i just can’t talk about yet, a) because it isn’t finished and b) because it contains some of the biggest plot points in the entire series thus far. if you’ve been keeping up with the stardates thus far (which i encourage you to do!) you know what part three is leading up to: itachi leaving the corvus and the dissolution of shisui and itachi’s growing relationship. 

with that in mind, i’m... more than a little terrified about writing part three, which is why the third chapter has been languishing in my google drive for months now. (and also why i started not one, but TWO new fics to cope with my writer’s block. whoops.) chapter three is where all the parts come together and shit hits the fan, and i can only hope that everyone will be as excited to read it as i am to publish it. 

next up, the two other projects i began this year:

salvation comes only in our dreams (shiita; canon divergence; 16,835 words; in progress)

for a long time, i’ve wanted to write something that’s actually set in the naruto universe and works to correct a lot of the flaws that i see in the series. there are a lot of things that bother me about naruto, but i think one of the things that frustrates me the most is the really messy and in some ways offensive resolution to the uchiha coup plot thread, and i wanted to write a story that dealt with the complicated themes of the series--imperialism, oppression, genocide, child soldiers--but, like, didn’t suck and completely drop the ball. thus, the massacre au was born. 

my main goal was to tell a story that showed a lot of these characters in ways we’ve never seen them before, specifically itachi. i didn’t want to write itachi as just an idealist who suffers and Suffers AND SUFFERS for konoha yet still remains loyal to the village for some unfathomable reason like he is in the series. i wanted to write an itachi that was sharper, more jaded, and more suspicious of the world around him, but overall was still a good person with a kind heart. and for shisui, well... obviously there’s a lot going on there, too. 

this is easily the darkest story i’ve ever written, and as the plot thickens it will certainly get darker with relationship dynamics that are complicated and unhealthy At Best. i hope that as the story goes on it’s a ride people continue to enjoy, as i was super pleasantly surprised at how popular this fic became (compared to my usual stats, at least) 

oceans between us (shiita; alternate universe; 15,039 words; in progress)

it’s good to know that i continue to be the most ridiculously niche version of myself as yes, i wrote a fucking shiita atonement au. 

with each fic i write i try to have a very specific voice that suits the particular piece and distinguishes it from other stories that include the same characters. for example, star trek au chapters tend to be more fun and light-hearted (especially shisui POV chapters) and lean more into the action movie and sci-fi adventure feel of the star trek universe, while the massacre au is written in a way that’s much heavier and guided by itachi’s emotions and experiences. my main goal with this story was to give it the same romantic, operatic, almost hazy quality that the movie has, which reflects the period setting and also the nature of this grand tragic love story. 

i knew from the beginning that there were going to be a lot of things that i cut from the film in my retelling, like the lola subplot and obviously the setting of pre-wwii england. i also knew i wanted to explore some of the aspects of the film that were implied more than outright stated, like the themes of classism and upper-class privileges. and more than anything i wanted to structure this piece around this idea of tension building and building until it finally snaps and there’s just a world of mess and hurt and loss that affects these two characters in two very different ways. 

also, the sex scene. i haven’t written a sex scene for anything in, like, a decade, so that was a lot of pressure. but i’m happy with how it came out and i think it ended up being an aspect of the story that felt like both a natural progression and necessary to show the affection these two people have for one another.

originally i was just going to end the story with shisui going to jail, but when i told alexa this i genuinely thought she was going to kill me. so, that didn’t happen lmao. but the more i tried to imagine what a second chapter would look like, the more i realized she was right, and it would have been a terrible idea to end the fic there. as for whether or not the final chapter will keep That Ending... who can say?

goals i have for 2021:

finishing lovers alone wear sunlight and, if i’m very lucky, beginning the fourth and second to last part of star trek au (yes, as it currently stands this 160k+ word series is only halfway finished. sorry not sorry)

publishing the next chapter of salvation comes only in our dreams (i don’t know when it will drop. i don’t know anything about this fic. please do not @ me) 

completing oceans between us (the second and final chapter is currently sitting at about 4k words and will probably end up at about 15k in total)

completing and publishing a new fic i’ve started at the very end of 2020, which is the shiita jurassic world au nobody but me and alexa knew they wanted. it’s essentially a 90s romcom with dinosaurs and i cannot Wait to share it. (it’s at about 9k right now and will probably end up being around 20k to 23k in total... maybe...)

FINALLY starting my dream project: the shiita olympics au i’ve been planning for years, where itachi is a figure skater and shisui is a hockey player (i’d like to keep this under 150k but at this point trying to keep my stories at a managable word count is a losing battle)

anyway, that’s it! if you managed to get this far in this very self-indulgent and shameless bit of self promotion, congrats! also, a very big thank you to everyone who’s read my fics, left me kudos and comments, and spent their time on my work, because it really does mean the world to me. 

here’s hoping 2021 is a much healthier and happier year for us all! 

[lovelylogans]

what are your favorite episodes of gilmore girls?

ooOOOOOOH GREAT QUESTION i’ll break it down season by season:

season one

pilot. i mean, obviously. it sets them all up so well, character-wise; plus, you can tell some episodes in season one that were filmed shortly after the pilot vs a while later, just bc of emily’s differing hair lengths

the lorelai’s first day at chilton: introduces such great characters (paris, madeline, louise) and also is such a great way to continue the transition into learning about this world

rory’s birthday parties: god. just. the stark difference between emily and richard’s world vs stars hollow...... the found family of practically all of stars hollow showing up to rory’s home party...... “lorelai’s right. i don’t know my daughter at all.”...... God

forgiveness and stuff: like, gOD. a masterclass of acting especially from kelly bishop and lauren graham; it hits so differently after edward hermann’s actual passing. luke and lorelai’s relationship displayed on what he’d do for her. lord!

paris is burning: paris................ the Beginning of turning from enemies to friends...... plus, like, you get to see some of lorelai’s commitment issues, which plays out throughout the entire series (sometimes To My Great Aggravation)

concert interruptus: the bangles 🥺paris and rory 🥺

christopher returns: i mean. you see the dynamic between rory and christopher, lorelai and christopher, and emily, richard, and christopher, which just paints such a clearer picture of what lorelai’s life might have been like back then. PLUS, emily being soft toward rory; it’s one of my fave relationship moments for them, and i kind of regret taking that line from her and giving it to christopher in wyliwf.

star crossed lovers and other strangers: the same way we get to see emily and rory, we get to see richard and lorelai; also, you can see how lorelai’s commitment issues might have inadvertently affected rory in this. plus i love love LOVE the backstory of the stars hollow lovers festival, i wish they’d repeated it in later seasons!

emily in wonderland: i really wish you’d gotten to see the effect of learning about lorelai and rory living in the shed play out more than a one-episode arc, i really wish we did, but like. emily bishop, once again, acting her damn heart out. phenomenal.

season two

the road trip to harvard: you get to see the beginnings of how rory leaving for college might affect lorelai, plus you get to see rory in her ivy league habitat. luke getting so suddenly, “inexplicably” cheerful when he hears that lorelai’s not marrying max. and at the very ending emily being sympathetic to max. bless it.

nick & nora/sid & nancy: first jess ep. “dodger.” what else is there to say. points off lorelai tho for immediately losing it at jess when he snarks at her, when, like, that is your move, lorelai, you should recognize that?

presenting lorelai gilmore: rory stepping more and more into her grandparents’ world in a way lorelai never wanted to; though i don’t ship christopher and lorelai, their dance scene is adorable. plus, emily and richard fighting a bit and the beginnings of richards (seasons long!) arc about his journey with his work.

the ins and oust of inns: MIA. you get to see mia for the first time! lorelai and sookie having a fight is :( but you get to see lorelai’s turmoil over actually leaving the inn. emily coming to see mia! luke yelling at the town over them being rude about luke! lorelai coming to his defense! rory telling jess off and jess wordlessly fixing luke’s toaster in silent apology!

the bracebridge dinner: GOD. love it. the horses and carriages! the absurd historical acting! emily and richard! rory and jess! luke and lorelai! it’s fantastic!

a-tisket, a-tasket: I LOVE THIS EPISODE. some of the town absurdity that was just A Plus. “it’s not like she’s shipping off to ‘nam!” is a great line. jackson proposing to sookie! and poor lane........

there’s the rub: emily and lorelai, seeing how great they could get along, but seeing how either of them wreck it just when it’s getting a-okay. god. it’s just such a great microcosm of their relationship.

dead uncles and vegetables: luke......... Luke. lorelai and rory and jess all rallying around him in their ways, and stars hollow by extension. even tho they were pretty shitty at first, they, like. managed to make it up to him in the end.

lorelai’s graduation day: GOD LAUREN GRAHAM, KELLY BISHOP, AND EDWARD HERMANN KILL IN THE GRADUATION SCENE!!!!! i ADORE that shot of the three of them, gets me every single time!!! the only thing i dislike about it is rory accidentally missing the graduation bc....... :/. like. i really like jess. but. come on.

i can’t get started: sookie’s wedding!!! her freaking out over the cake so much in her dress is So Her, she looked so pretty omg! plus, if the spa ep is a good microcosm of emily and lorelai, this is a great microcosm for christopher and lorelai. plus!!!! RORY AND JESS FIRST KISS!!!!!!

season three (look, full disclosure, seasons 3/4 are like. my faves. so)

haunted leg: gosh. lauren graham kills it in that last couple scenes. plus! kirk asking lorelai out on a date is hilarious! emily and lorelai’s lunch at luke’s going So Bad! and i know that not a ton of people like the francie chilton student politics intrigue subplot isn’t great for some people, but i do think that the potential was Great and there are definitely some really good scenes that arose from that subplot, so

take the deviled eggs... like. just. a great blend of town insanity (patty’s new boy, the town loner pitching a protest no one knows the reason behind) and lorelai and rory bonding (by deviled-egging jess’ CAR) and just!!! yes!!!!

they shoot gilmores, don’t they?: i mean. come ON. what list would be complete without this? literally every single favorites list has this episode on there. the dance marathon is the perfect example of town insanity! lane and dave getting their bonding! that little luke and lorelai moment about having kids! that scene of rory crying into lorelai’s shoulder!

a deep-fried korean thanksgiving: i love the whole “three thanksgivings” thing. Can Relate, Do Understand. i think that lorelai freaking out at rory for applying to yale is definitely a contrived subplot (i mean. she was never going to apply to only harvard. ma’am.) but i do like seeing sookie, and luke and jess, and just.... Yeah

dear emily and richard: our ONLY flashback ep! while i do think that only lauren graham can really pull lorelai off, the actress is, like, fairly decent (young christopher, however, does not really fit) and you just! yeah! you get to see them back in their youth and FINALLY get the context of how lorelai ran away!

the big one: like! yay paris! lorelai’s reaction (”i’ve got the good kid!”) is Gross, Frankly! it’s gross and bad! but also poor paris 🥺but!!! rory helping to comfort her afterwards!! richard falling asleep in the middle and having No idea of what just went down is also inexplicably hilarious to me!

those are strings, pinocchio: i mean. it’s the graduation episode. God. i just???? god. it’s such a great episode, there’s so many great moments, i just. 🥺

season four

the lorelais’ first day at yale: a great little titling parallel to chilton, but also, rory panicking when lorelai leaves is like. such a Thing ya know??? i just. yeah. i really like that ep it’s a nice introduction

the festival of living art: one, this show won its only emmy bc of the makeup, so that alone is great. uh, kirk being so adversary to the guy who plays judas is god tier humor! plus! sookie and jackson having their baby!

ted koppel’s big night out: THE FOOTBALL GAME EPISODE! i actually kind of love it, but more the first half than the latter; it’s such an emily and richard way to prepare for a football game, you know? and then meeting pennilyn lott! igniting the arc of emily and richard having doubts about their marriage which has Acting! Moments! but this also has jason and lorelai’s first date, which i Dislike, bc i Dislike Jason Very Much.

nag hammadi is where they found the gnostic gospels: seeing jess come back into town and you get to see how unfinished things are between him and rory..... the luke angst..... Yes.

the incredible sinking lorelais: a very realistic part of college, imo, in which you feel overwhelmed and anxious and EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW CAN I JUST CALL MY MOM, though i wish they’d set it up a bit more and followed it longer than an episode, and also that rory hadn’t gone to dean; but also, trix, and richard standing up to her, which!

scene in a mall: idk i just love this episode? seeing emily in her shopping element; seeing her break down in that way; seeing how shopping is like, one of her Only ways to execute power, and how she’s kind of jealous of lorelai’s career bc she was born into a generation where the only thing it was really acceptable for her to do was cultivate a husband and a nice house; plus!!! that last bit of emily and richard and the apples at the table just BREAKS your heart!!!

girls in bikinis, boys doin’ the twist: SPRING BREAAAAK which is so unexpected for paris and rory and therefore very funny. you get to see madeline and louise again—i actually really love their characters, lmao! paris and rory kiss! just! yeah!

tick, tick, tick, boom!/afterboom: another “idk i just enjoy it” episode. richard and floyd coming to a head; kirk’s easter egg hunt; seeing little davey. however i have some Words for rory because lindsay deserves better??? i understand that she could get a part time job but also MIND YOUR BUSINESS?????? dean’s the one taking classes! that’s an unnecessary expense! he has two jobs!! he’s allowed to take a pause!!! also i can’t believe i’m forced to defend dean right now!!! fuck asher, tho, but yay! breaking up with jason!!! yay breaking up with jason!!!!!!

luke can see her face/last week fights, this week tights: i can’t, okay??? i literally had to. the beginning of jess’ (admittedly mostly off-screen) development arc! luke and the self-help books! the absurdity of the renaissance wedding! the WEDDING DANCE!!! 

raincoats and recipes: truly an episode has never gone from such a “FUCK YESSSSSS FINALLY” scene to a “FUCK NOOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG” but honestly it’s just. it’s Such a fantastic episode like i can’t

season five

written in the stars: their first date 🥺the horoscope 🥺”i am in, lorelai. i am all in.” 🥺 HER GOING DOWNSTAIRS IN JUST HIS SHIRT 🥺 HIM YELLING AT THE TOWN ABOUT HOW IT’S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS 🥺🥺🥺

we got us a pippi virgin: literally the concept alone of “nearly coming to blows via bop it” is great. also luke being like “rory is like pippi!” and showing off what a high regard he holds her in 🥺

emily says hello: LITERALLY so many great little things about this episode. emily deciding she wants to try dating! rory and christopher snapping at each other! KELLY BISHOP’S ACTING AFTER THE DATE WHEN SHE CLOSES THE DOOR ON HIM AND BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!!!!

women of questionable morals: the dog. 

wedding bell blues: HUNDREDTH EPISODE couldn’t NOT make it on here, so here it is!!! luke and lorelai looking at each other when she’s next to the aisle! luke and christopher both yelling and logan—AcTING! also emily being so manipulative even on her second wedding day, it’s just So classically her, and kelly bishop and lauren graham in the final scene is just. Mwah!

so... good talk: rory literally stepping into lorelai’s shoes for a dinner and being the one to snap at emily and richard is Such a role reversal for her but honestly whenever it does happen i actually really enjoy seeing the dichotomy between the grandparents seeing rory as their perfect little second chance and lorelai seeing her as her mini-me and how rory walks the line between each. AND THAT ENDING KISS SCENE BETWEEN LUKE AND LORELAI????? I CAN’T?????

pulp friction: LORELAI CONTINUING TO ICE OUT EMILY AND RICHARD!!!!! the yelling scene at the diner!!!! plus seeing the chilton skirt come out again was nice imo i too have reused private schoolwear

season six (the season, admittedly, i have watched the least)

we’ve got magic to do: the outfits of the dar bash. paris’ sudden dedication to the proletariat. emily’s rant to shira. that is all

twenty-one is the loneliest number: them finally starting to talk; “this is luke, my soon-to-be-stepfather”; the pastor scene is also just. hilarious. but also so very richard and emily

let me hear your balalaikas ringing out: lorelai’s emotions toward paul anka being sick Oof and luke and the soccer team lmao but also JESS RETUUUUURNS!!!!! RORY SNAPS OUT OF IT!!!!!! FINALYYYYYYY!!!!

friday night’s alright for fighting: literally the montage of all of them intercut with fighting and them sitting in silence while the other two yell in the background to them laughing is just. Peak gilmore

this turned out..... even longer than expected lmao

[adobe-outdesign]

BATDS Update Liveblog

I was debating on whether or not to liveblog this, but it seems more substantial than the original release so I guess I will. Spoilers under the cut.

Unfortunately I did spoil myself in regards to Milla being Alice, but I do like the bit of foreshadowing with her voice - you can still tell it’s Lauren doing it, and Susie being a VA means that doing other voices is her thing. it’s a nice touch.

I’m confused on what Boris is doing with the corpses. I’m assuming he’s opening their ribs, but they’re already open? And it doesn’t make sense as to why there’s tapes there (okay, maybe Millia’s makes sense, but I’m assuming other character’s tapes can spawn as well).

I like that you can pick up the hearts and Norman just kind of yells at you but doesn’t even bother hunting you down

is there any point to these wall holes? they just seem to be there for no reason

just gonna headcanon that Susie’s father actually was a butcher and she figured she’d work that into her fake backstory

Kind of concerned about that one Wally tape because it mentions the ink moving like in DCTL. Unlike the infections, the Venom shit just... does not work or add anything to the plot, and I’m hoping it won’t be a major plot element here or in BATDR (though I don’t mind the ink seeming to move a little, it’s more when it’s just straight-up conscious that shit starts getting kind of stupid)

I realize Milla’s just Alice trying to... lure in Boris, I’m guessing? But I do wish her tapes had more variety. They’re all just “this fucking sucks save me” and it’s starting to get repetitive.

Then again, it is kind of clever foreshadowing, given that they’re all fake. Makes sense for Alice to ham it up.

I’m assuming the Alice ending is an alternate ending and not canon? would be kind of fun plot twist though if she steals the heart of this Boris and it turns out this was a previous Boris living in the safehouse, and ours doesn’t move in until after this one dies. Then again, the sound of Henry entering the studio doesn’t make a lot of sense if it doesn’t happen anytime soon after this.

BATIM now has FNAF-style jumpscares

it amuses me that boris runs out of stamina by running for like 5 seconds. does he have the metabolism of a hummingbird

I wish the jumpscares were more creative. They’re kind of awkwardly animated and pretty generic

alice recording these like “Boris I swear to god get your bitch ass over here or I’ll hunt you down and disembowel you myself”

AND BEHIND DOOR A IS... A NEW CARE

why was Alice just sitting behind this door anyway. how long was she waiting back there for boris to finally find the damn key

(also that’s kind of funny if he is wally adkflj)

I really like the attention to detail here - might make a post about this, but Alice’s dialogue indicates she used to be more deformed, and has slowly been fixing herself with the hearts. Sure enough, this a prequel, and Alice does look more deformed. It’s good lorebuilding and attention to detail.

and while it makes sense for her to be less deformed, I’ve always wanted to see a more monstrous version of her. This delivers nicely, 10/10

so she doesn’t... kill him? what the hell was the point of that then? esp because she just... sat there and let him leave when it should have been stupidly easy to close the door on him?

also, why in the piss does Alice not kill him when he’s in the station? Bendy seems to be implied to not do it because he enjoys fucking with people, Norman’s mindless, but Alice knows he’s in there and has no reason not to grab him. I know the technical reason is “gameplay” but it feels sloppy.

or she looks exactly the same and that illustration was just stylized. fuck me I guess

boy oh boy it sure is suspicious that the game just happens to be comparing Boris’ score to Wally’s score and is possibly a game he himself made and it’s one of the main things you have to unlock

I’m going to read some transcripts of tapes because it’s gonna be hard to find them in Let’s Plays. hopefully I’ll hear them while watching later or someone will comp together a video of them all, but for the sake of liveblogging I’ll just read for now.

I’m genuinely curious as to why Thomas would steal from Shawn. He doesn’t have a reason to, and it doesn’t seem in-character for him. I smell shenanigans

I’m wondering if this “Nathan” dude is the Unknown tape from BATDR? He doesn’t have a South American accent but it’s not clear if Nathan was born in South America or just moved there. I’m mostly wondering because he and Joey are friends, Joey specifically called on him to help out (which he didn’t apparently), and Unknown knows about the studio and seems to have almost taken over at some point (if it’s an AU or something). And I don’t know why else they’d bring up a new character unless it dies into BATDR somehow.

Final Thoughts:

The good:

They did a really good job improving on this game.- the original wasn’t really bad, it was just a solid Meh. This actually has a bit of plot, more interesting character tapes that actually have meaning, and more lore. I didn’t bother buying the original because it didn’t really seem all that interesting, but now I probably will grab the mobile version.

Hearing from old characters again

Getting to face off against more canon enemies rather than just Bendy

Something resembling a plot

The bad:

The subplot with Millie was clever and interesting... but it feels pointless because it doesn’t amount to shit. I mean, Alice chases you afterward, but that could have happened without that subplot and it would’ve made just as much sense. And like I mentioned earlier, Boris escaping in the first place doesn’t really make sense and feels like it only happened because this is a prequel.

Some things, like Alice not entering the Miracle Stations, feel like they exist only for the gameplay and are pretty sloppy. Environmental storytelling doesn’t really work if things only happen for the sake fo gameplay and nothing else.

It doesn’t really... end? We’ll see if future updates keep adding to it, but the original, while not technically “ending”, had a resolution with Boris remembering who he was briefly and Henry entering the studio, even if you could keep playing afterward. Here, it feels like the Alice part should have been the ending... but then it introduces another character and keeps going for another round, except when you complete that nothing actually... happens. It’s weird.

So basically, this was a pretty solid update.and a surprising improvement on the original. Would recommend.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

October 22: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

(previous notes: Friday the 13th Part 3)

I'm on movie number four in this eight movie project, and for the first time I'll be seeing one of these movies that I haven't ever seen before! When I do my watch-a-movie-and-take-notes projects, I generally do them for movies I've already seen before so that it's not too frustrating to simultaneously watch & type. But I'll make an exception for these Friday the 13th movies in light of the fact that they suck.

I remember this being out at my local theater in 1984, when I was 13, and even thinking it might be fun to see it, but I never got around to it.

It really must have been bittersweet for audiences at the time, knowing that this would be the final chapter. Each time they had a positive moment of enjoyment with this movie, they had to remember, "oh, I'm really going to miss this. It shall all be gone. Once the lights come back on, the days of new Friday the 13th movies will never return."

unless

Okay, watching this now for the first time ever.

Again beginning with a rehash. This time however, it's a montage of moments from the first two movies. Wait, now here's some of the third movie. But it's all framed by one of the monologues from the second movie. Much shorter and less of a cheap move than the last two movies did.

The title has a new title-plus-mask image… and then THE FINAL CHAPTER arrives to blow that image up with fire and splody-sounds!

The credits promise the likes of Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover, so that's exciting.

Okay, now it looks like we're at the ranch where the third one took place. They're hauling bodies out of the barn & other buildings. It looks like Jason's body is one of the bodies because hockey mask!

Actually, I think that first shot was a long-ish crane shot. Cinematically ambitious I guess.

We don't know yet what happened to the girl at the end of the last one. It's weird because this scene is at night, but the last movie ended with daytime paramedic activity at the ranch. I'm confused. Please help me. Please tell me that it will all be okay.

One of the covered up bodies has stirred! Jason is probably up to his not-be-dead-after-all tricks!

This scene is about a pair of frisky hospital workers in the "cold room" where there is at least one body, plus a television where the girl "just wants to watch the news". But 80s-style aerobics is what's really on the TV. And she kisses him after all and gets quite flirty, but then takes it all back because he is so insensitive or something. They show the aerobics a lot. It's all pelvic and prurient. Then Jason kills the guy with a bone saw and then goes and finds the girl and kills her with something else because diversity.

Then an abrupt cut to daytime joggers in the woods somewhere!

Now we are learning about the family of the joggers. They live in the country where there is a legend of a psycho, so I guess we're in the Crystal Lake area. The youngest child is Corey Feldman and his personality is "likes video games and wears a monster mask while playing them".

Now we are learning about the kids that rented a house across the street. Crispin Glover and another dude are in a car, talking about a girl and they clearly don't know how to have this kind of conversation, and the writers don't know how to pretend like they do so the other guy does a gag about how an invisible computer told him that CG is bad at sex. It is an unappealing intro to these characters. We even know there are a bunch of other people in the car, way too many honestly, but we don't get to know them. Just the two people who talk like broken robots about a woman.

Just to keep the mood where it ought to be, a hitchhiker they drove past gets impaled by Jason!

CF, a tweenager I should point out, is peeping-tom-ing at the canoodling couple in the rented house, and it is interesting to speculate as to whose idea it was for him to act the way he does when he watches them. He bounces excitedly and slams his head repeatedly into a pillow. Whose idea.

Now there's a skinny dipping scene. They definitely have arrived to the point in the series where they feel it's important to show pretty girls without any clothes.

For some reason, CF and the adult older sister drove to where the skinny dipping was happening, but they bolted when they realized that's what it was. There is ch ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha ha on them as they have car trouble in the woods as they head home, plus also as two of the swimmers are hanging out. But they both turn out to be fakeouts! No one is dying at all! At least we'll always have the hitchhiker. They can't take that away from us.

The fakeout with the CF subplot is that it was just some handsome man that comes along to help. He says he is this deep in the woods because he is hunting for bear. CF totally calls him out! There's no way he's hunting for bear! No one is just like "it is bear hunting season and I am enjoying some leisurely bear hunting time". CF is no fool.

They decide to take Bear Hunter in as a guest for perhaps the afternoon. Because of the bubble of this movie, CF shows the Bear Hunter his monster toys and Bear Hunter shares in his enthusiasm.

0:37:13 - Now we are choking down this awkward scene where the young people are hanging out in their house trying to deliver dialogue that is not consistent with normal human psychology. The gist is that the men want to be sexual with the women but there are subtle social obstacles.

!!! Crispin Glover really is interesting! His screen presence absolutely towers above the rest of the cast, when he reacts unfavorably to being teased. But seriously all these interactions are so painful.

For our next murder project, we have an inflatable boat made of thin, vulnerable rubber for a person to get stabbed through. It requires assuming that Jason's magic powers allow him to just hide under water, waiting for a naked lady to lie down in the boat at night. This project was completed on time and under budget.

Seriously, the most terrifying scenes in this movie are the ones where the sexually frustrated young adults are hanging out and attempting to use words.

Another death just happened because the boyfriend of the recently-killed naked lady went to check on her, found her dead, then was Jason'd with some implements that I couldn't really understand. Something with a handle shoved into him somehow. It is filmed weirdly and then we just move on to Bear Hunter, camping nearby.

This is a disturbing turn… we're back on the uninteresting young adults, and one of them announces that he has found something very interesting! We see that it is old movie reels. They start watching them. It's old, old film of naked people. They laugh and laugh and laugh. Maybe this is art?

Pretty cool visual with this next death, we just see the shadow of Jason coming at her and killing her with a something. Looks cool as a shadow thing, plus it isn't "those stupid characters talking" which is a HUGE bonus.

We're back to CF's family; Mom saw something that startled her but we don't know what, and CF and Big Sister are… driving home in the car? Where were they, why did they drive somewhere, I forget. Maybe they had to run into town to pick up a packet of it-doesn't-matter-we-just-needed-Mom-to-be-alone.

Just like that, Older Sister went looking for Mom, but ends up taking shelter from the rain in Bear Hunter's tent. Bear Hunter, in a very predictable fakeout, slashes a hole in the tent because what is she doing in there anyway.

But we cut back to the young adults and CG gets a very ugly death! He's all "hey where's the corkscrew" and Jason makes his hand be corkscrewed and makes his face be stabbed!

Then he kills one of the other young adults just right afterward by being outside her second floor bedroom window and pulling her out the window SO HARD. Seriously it must be a hard job coming up with different ways to kill them, give them a break.

Back to Bear Hunter; he's fessing up to his true motive which is to hunt Jason. His story is hard to believe, and Big Sister is taking it in very diplomatically.

The one guy in the group of the young adults who is the biggest asshole is also the one most amused by the old films. We see them a lot, these old films they are watching. It is the silent era's version of soft core porn - women dancing naked. Anyway, the asshole's death happens when he gets the idea to be close to the projector screen, enabling Jason to stab him through it and making it look kind of cool and be a scene that ends with the projector-still-running cadence.

New death - guy is taking a post-coital shower and Jason comes in and shoves his arm through the sliding glass shower door thing and very effectively crushes the guy's head against the wall. Then the girlfriend comes in and discovers him; she runs down to the front door, but she can't open it, she just can't open it, it just won't open, and it ends with somehow Jason axe-killing her through the door from outside. They don't show it very well and no one probably ever clearly explained to anyone how it was supposed to work.

1:09:20 - This is followed immediately by a scene that is also poorly choreographed - Bear Hunter returns with Big Sister but it's a fakeout because for some reason they break the glass of the side door to get in, even though CF is right there. They are all frightened as if they know about deaths happening, even though they don't know about the deaths. It's just that the power has been spotty; that’s why things are urgent, as far as they know.

They decide to investigate the house where the young adults are staying. They are gingerly surveying the living room, and they walk right by where the projector screen murder happened, but they see no evidence of that crime.

1:11:55 - Bear Hunter tells the big sister "you stay right here with Corey". I'm pretty sure that just happened. I think he was referring to CF, whose character is not named Corey and who also is not with them.

In a shocking piece of non-linear storytelling, a dog jumps out a window in slow motion. Art. ART.

Jason kills Bear Hunter right in front of Big Sister, and even though his mission in life has been to hunt Jason, Bear Hunter doesn't even fight him off, he just begs Big Sister to run as Jason pounds on him. Big sister does run, but each of the house's exits has a dead person surprise that's too scary for her to go past so she's stuck inside with Jason!

But CF has heard her screaming and comes across the street to be with her. Oh but wait, I think they are actually now back at their house. I missed how that happened. That chase ends with a moment where she has reason to think she might have killed him by hitting him pretty hard with a cathode ray television set with an approximately 15" screen. But no, he changes back from almost-dead to regular-Jason and chases them around some more.

1:21:45 - They must have felt like their secret weapon for this movie was slo-mo thrown-through-a-window situations because Big Sister ends a portion of being chased by Jason by throwing herself through a window and landing painfully on the ground outside. Jason's all "you won this round Big Sister, but I'll be back. This is not The Final Chapter of this story!"

Everyone seems to have wound up back at the young adults' house, and CF has come up with an ingenious idea - he shaves his head to confuse Jason! Then he and Big Sister stab Jason a lot and it's all very gory and climactic.

The way the movie ends is that Jason's body twitches a little on the ground after they mostly kill him, and CF freaks out and stabs Jason many many, many more times! Cut to later on when Big Sister is in a hospital bed being told it will all be okay by some Caucasian men in white coats. They suggest that CF was pretty crazy for a minute there but that will pass. CF comes to give her a hug… but he looks scary! You guys, look, he looks scary! The big finish is that CF has a sinister look on his face. Cut to credits.

We never saw what happened to the Mom. Or the main girl from Part 3. Also it seems like there were some other young adults that just stopped being in the movie. How dare they.

Okay so I am halfway through this ridiculous project. I have watched four of the eight Friday the 13th movies. I watched them all by myself at my home during the COVID-19 pandemic. These challenging times I tell you.

(next: Friday the 13th - A New Beginning)

[fizzingwizard]

In winter I discovered the “Anne with an E” series on Netflix. Of course, I was excited, because I grew up with Anne of Green Gables - I am pretty sure I never finished the series, but I read at least half the books. I loved the early ones but lost interest when she grew up. I was not one of those kids who idolized adulthood; looking back, most of the stories I loved best were about kids, so I think I just didn’t connect with Anne the same way when she became an adult. I still adore her story, though, and the first book in particular.

(actually, I wrote my senior thesis on kids in literature, meaning outside of children’s/MA/YA books. It was fun)

The show’s been canceled after season 3, which I’m sad about, but it’s mixed feelings tbh. As usual I have Thoughts.

So there are a lot of great things about “Anne with an E.”

the intro is beautiful and fitting

the casting is pretty well done, imo. Matthew and Marilla in particular were just perfectly cast.

the setting, costumes, etc are really gorgeous, I get such a fresh, pastoral sense looking at it

the appreciation for and development of my quirky girl Anne is there

there is a huge focus on female relationships and friendships without much in the way of cattiness

the addition of some new characters and themes both keeps an old story alive and relevant while also pointing out that what we think of as “modern” problems (lgbtqa+ representation, for instance) are really things that have existed throughout history

and on that, I loved all of the new characters, especially Bash, Mary, and Ka’kwet. Also Diana’s lesbian aunt is Lifestyle Goals.

But there are also things I definitely didn’t like.

the acting... like I’m sure all the actors are very good, but the script I think doesn’t play to their strong points. There’s a lot of stiffness. The character I think who does the smoothest job no matter what is actually Bash. It’s worst with Gil. He can act, I think, he  seemed pretty good with body language, but I cringe when he talks. He only gets pure, wise things to say. He never sounds like a child. Everything he does is right. The same is true of Anne as well, and another thing that bothers me - as much as I appreciate her passion and sense of justice, I don’t like that it overrules her childishness so much of the time. But she’s the main character and has a lot more time to shine in many ways, while a lot of Gil’s storyline outside of Anne is new stuff not in the books, mainly not there to develop him.

three seasons of the show and very little of it seems to actually be from the pages of the books. They did the apple cordial scene, but there were so many others that Iooked forward to and they just didn’t bother with. Those scenes were the reason I loved Green Gables. I don’t mind that they changed characters etc so they could make room to include those so-called “modern” stories - like I said, that adds to its relevancy. But why cut out so much of what was good in the books?

because they skipped so much canon development, the rushed finale in season 3, presumably when they realized they were being canceled, has no tension or impact.

also because they skip so many good parts in the books, many episodes feel like a Hallmark TV show to me. Anne goes from quirky, clumsy, fiery, and interesting to the writers’ social issue megaphone. There’s got to be a way to Be Super Feminist or whatever without sucking all the life out of your main character. She’s not like that in *every* episode, but there are definitely those where you feel like you’re being hit on the head with a protest sign.

I hated them killing Mary, and I hated that they were setting up for Bash and Ms Stacy in season 4. I swear that’s what they were doing. I sensed it from the moment Mrs Lind says Bash has to find a new wife. The show was canceled, but already we’d had a sudden influx of significant scenes between Bash and Stacy that were nonexistent before Mary’s death, and these scenes were specifically themed around loss of loved ones, moving on, parenthood, and family. It was absolutely a set up. And given the incredible pace at which this show liked to tackle Social Issue after Social Issue, I have no doubt that “interracial marriage” was next on the list. Normally I wouldn’t care, except that it feels like Mary was killed in order to make room for this storyline! That’s my beef with it. I don’t think season 3 is all that well written, overall, to be honest.

But my biggest issue of all is with Ka’kwet. I remember reading about residential schools when I was a kid. They were horrifying. The show at least doesn’t mince how horrible it was. The introduction of Ka’kwet and her family was great. The inclusion of indigenous actors was great. The history is incredibly important. And then... we don’t even find out what happens to her. I read a bunch of people saying “That’s realistic! Those schools were terrible and letting her have a happy ending would have had white savior overtones and undermined how awful this was.” Perhaps if Anne with an E were a different kind of show, I’d agree. But everyone else got a satisfying conclusion. Even though Mary died, at least she found her happiness first, and her estranged son even comes back in the end to ask forgiveness at her grave and turn his life around. *Everyone* ends on a hopeful note, except the Mi’kmaq storyline, which ends with Ka’kwet imprisoned at school and separated from her desperate family. Even if you really believe the argument that “it’s realistic so it’s good,” the other issue is that that whole subplot was really short! It was suddenly introduced and had just got momentum when it fizzled out. I was SO confused in the final couple episodes because I could think about NOTHING but Ka’kwet and kept expecting news about her, one way or another, yet the show only wanted to talk about Anne & Gilbert, Diana and going to Queens, fricking Billy and Josie... Sorry, but it was a very, very bad look. I love Anne and Gil in the books, but when you put them up against the story of a 12 year old indigenous girl imprisoned by white people at a brainwashing school... I mean, how can you expect me to get all worked up over Anne’s note to Gil getting stuck under his boot when something much much larger is at stake?? Confusing. Exasperating. I am certain it’s this bad because of the cancellation, but I’m not super hot on the build up to it either.

Regarding Anne & Gil. I was confused through all three seasons about them. Their relationship did not remind me of what I remember from the books, but it’s possible I overlooked some things as a child, or just don’t remember it all. Anyway, I didn’t really care about their romance during the show. On the one hand, that’s good because it’d be a tragedy if Anne were spun into a romantic period chick flick. It’s not. But on the other, I can’t get excited about a character’s romantic journey if it’s underdeveloped. Not everyone may agree with me that it was underdeveloped, but I needed more - not even necessarily more romance, just more of what made Anne and Gil so magnetic to each other. I suppose it’s a moot point because in the books, it literally takes years before they even become close, and the show couldn’t wait that long. Plus they changed so many other things, why not this? That’s fine, but the why not spend more time of them too?

So... ultimately, I’m disappointed in this show. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s not. I enjoyed watching it, for the most part, though I had to struggle through some of the more Hallmark movie moments. It’s just not Anne. It had promise... it has some good scenes... but in changing so much, they lost a lot of what made the books magical. And a lot of the themes they took on appeared and then vanished, like Cole coming to terms with his sexuality and going to art school, and then only making cameos after that. (Though I highly appreciated that he went with Anne and comforted her when she returned to the orphanage.) It’s too bad. I don’t know how much other fans would agree with me - what I’ve seen online has mostly seemed positive. And it’s hard, because my overall opinion is a complicated “I feel positively towards this show but I’m also disappointed in it.”

But gotta be honest - I’d be much less disappointed if I hadn’t felt so let down with how Ka’kwet’s story disappeared. That I just can’t forgive.

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI - 2x10 - Blood Brothers Review!

The boys are back in town, the boys are back in town...

So as the title and promo suggested we got the SEALs In Action both in the flashbacks and the present day. Nuzo is back! And his brother in the present day. My favorite girl gets benched but I kind of get why the writers did that but I’m not salty about it! (But I mean when you have Perdita Weeks to round up a team why in the freaking world would you pick limpy-bald-fat guy? IDK maybe they just don’t like good ratings? #NotSalty...OrMaybeJustALittle)

It has also officially been proven that Rick is actually Shaggy from Scoobie-Doo.

So the episode starts off with the guys in Afghanistan, sharing the wonders of car-beque (BBQ on a car’s engine) and tales of Ahmed (Amed?) the adorable with Higgy while waiting for Nuzo’s brother.

(Seriously how cute is this kid?)

Turns out that Nuzo’s brother needs the gang’s help with smuggling/getting papers for said kid who is now all grown up. Which I get why the guys agree to because US immigration laws kind of suck at the moment and they all knew this kid.

I’m a little iffy on why they make Higgins be all "nope, no, no thanks” about breaking the law to save this kid (her excuse is “It’s not life or death” but it totally is, maybe more than some cases they’ve worked, as deportation for this kid would mean being sent to an unstable wartorn region). We already did Higgins not wanting to break the law a few episodes back and this felt like a weirdly stupid reason now. Especially since there is no “pay off” for the fact that Higgins is kind of right and they do in the end involve the HDP and immigration.

I mean I know why they did it. They wanted an all boys SealTeam all back together (with Nuzo’s brother in his place) episode. And I did enjoy that! BUT I think the better option here would have been to have it start out with Higgin’s getting her foot iced having twisted fighting a bad guy during a case or maybe have some work thing with Robin’s Nest. Or they could have already had a case and she’d said they couldn’t just abandon jobs in the middle and that she’d work it alone, At the end we could have had a similar little moment where she was all “sorry I couldn’t be more help but I did catch the cheating bastard. And I got paid, here is the check.” and Magnum could have gone good work, you keep it, you did all the work and she’d have been all. “we’re partners, aren’t we? even if we don’t work together on every case. so we split it.” Character development for everyone involved...just saying...(clearly I should so write the show.)

Any and all of these would let her sit out the case so it could be the all-boys without backtracking some of the character development Higgins has had this season. (I even feel like we get a moment where Perdita agrees with me on this)...

(I mean just look at that eye roll.)

Then again, I did get some feels about the whole “You didn’t have a lot of friends growing up did you” (oouuch Magnum) - “You were right. I didn’t have many friends”. And how Magnum was all “we don’t have to agree on everything, friends have their ups and down but we’re still BFFs, right? right? right? Now let’s share some adorable smiles and put it behind us, because I can’t be happy when you’re not happy” which was nice.

Little sad this was our only MIggy nugget but we’ve been getting so much other good Miggy content this season I feel like we’re just spoiled so I’m not going to complain.

Anyways, back to the episode.

Stylistically this episode was different due to the fact that a) there is no case-case b) the flashbacks. Oh yeah, the flashbacks. We need to talk about the flashbacks.

So let me first start by saying I generally don’t like flashbacks. I feel like they slow down a story and just, no, not a fan. Occasionally flashbacks to things that give insight or help the story can be okay but overall I just don’t like them.

Having put that out there, I’m actually going to say much to my surprise I liked the first ones. Starting the episode with one was fun, the baseball game = golden. But ones towards the end, IDK, felt like we’d already been told what was going to happen and we knew they all made it out so the stakes weren’t exactly high. And while the flashbacks tied better in then some sub-plots (if you’ve read some of my earlier reviews you know I’ve been a little bothered by how disconnected the subplots are from the main one /theme of the episodes. ) I think they overdid it.

Did enjoy the whole them being reprimanded and each one of the guys trying to take responsibility for the rest! That’s military comradery for you (or possibly how you act in middle school, can’t quite decide). And Jay killed it talking to the picture. But, I think we could have shorted the middle/end flashbacks or just not had them at all. But that might just me and my hate of flashbacks talking.

I mean if they’d been desperate to have flashbacks, I think they should have focused more on Ahmed than Nuzo’s brother, or we should have gotten a scene or two of Ahmed so we felt more connected to him. I did really like the reunion and how in true Magnum PI fashion there was a happy ending where Ahmed would get to start a new life with Nuzo’s brother in NYC (not nearly as great weather as Hawaii but I’m sure they can make it work...)

Anyways, looking forward to the next episode, the promo looks intense, but also not because once it airs we’ll officially on hiatus for a while right? That’s gonna suck!

Cheers!

Some of my other Magnum PI episode reviews; 2x05, 2x06, 2x07, 2x08, 2x09!

[hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews]

Untold Tales of Spider-Man 02: After the First Death… – by Tom DeFalco

A story that has me debating the nature of these stories.

A soggy Spidey swings through rainy Manhattan looking for crime shots for the Daily Bugle. He comes upon Kent and Wayne Weisinger on the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers, planning to rob it. Confident that he can end the fight anytime he wants to, Spidey stretches it out so that his automatic camera can take as many photos as possible. Kent and Wayne have a longstanding sibling rivalry marked by Kent's resentment of being the "muscle" to Wayne's "brains" along with feeling that his brother always cheats him. During the fight, Kent appears to charge at Spidey but when the web-slinger leaps out of the way, Kent doesn't stop, charging into Wayne and knocking him off the roof. Wayne falls five stories to his death and all the by-standers think Spidey did it. Guiltily, Spidey flees, forgetting about Kent altogether.

So, Kent goes to Wayne's estranged wife Jeannette to tell her the news. "Solid ice," Jeannette could care less about Wayne's death except that she's lost her meal ticket. When Kent blames the death on Spider-Man, Jeannette gets an idea on how to cash in.

In fact, Peter Parker seems to be the only one emotionally affected by Wayne's death. He has a sleepless night, trying to cope with the situation. Unguarded, he admits to J. Jonah Jameson that he has photos of the incident. His resolve to not sell the photos is beaten down by Jameson's arm-twisting and his own need for money. He sells the pictures and is then introduced to Jeannette, now the grieving widow of Wayne, who has come to JJJ for help in instituting a civil suit against Spider-Man. At school, Peter's conscience makes him counter Flash Thompson's avowal that "Spidey's no murderer" with "Maybe the wall-crawler didn't actually kill the man... but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be held accountable for what happened." Back in action, Spidey hesitates over stopping a purse-snatcher, fearful that he may cause another tragedy. Back home, Peter doesn't know what to do. He recalls that Uncle Ben's death made him swear, "that no innocent person would ever again be made to suffer because Spider-Man had failed to act. It had never occurred to him that anyone would suffer because of Spider-Man's acts." And while Wayne wasn't exactly innocent, "he had suffered because Peter had acted irresponsibly." He ends up having one of those vague discussions with Aunt May where he can't tell her any details because she doesn't know he's Spider-Man, yet she manages to hit the nail on the head, telling him in this case, "Everybody makes mistakes, Peter. You just try to learn from your failures as best you can, and you move on. You'll always get another chance to do better as long as you keep at it."

Meanwhile, Jeannette decides to kick Kent out of the deal and keep any anticipated profits for herself. So even as Spidey sucks it up and gets back into action, proving himself a hero, Kent decides he's not going to be kicked around anymore, buttonholes a TV reporter and gives an interview in which he reveals "that he deliberately pushed his elder brother off the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers because of numerous past frustrations." At Midtown High, Flash crows over Spidey's exoneration but Peter won't let the web-slinger off so easily. "A real hero would have found a way to save Wayne Weisinger" he says, "He would have acted smarter, reacted quicker, or behaved more responsibly... And that's something Spider-Man will have to live with for the rest of his life."

Because these are untold tales, prose stories and utilize the comic book continuity you can analyse them from several different angles and their worth changes depending upon those angles.

 Chiefly this boils down to whether I judge this as a story unto itself or within the context of comic book continuity as it existed back then? What about the fact that I’m here in 2020 evaluating a prose book written in 1990 that’s trying to synch up with comic book stories written in the 1960.

 It boggles the mind. All I can do is write about how I feel.

 I liked this story unto itself and within the context of this book. I think, kind of like the last story, that it doesn’t really integrate into Spider-Man’s comic book history.

 The emotional journey of Peter in this story involves learning that he needs to be careful about how he acts. In this regard it’s rather similar to his lesson from Gwen’s death, which is kind of my problem. This story’s title implies this is in fact the very first time Spider-Man has experienced death ‘on the job’ as it were.

Surely such a thing would weigh on his mind more, surely it’d crop up when he dwells on the list of people he’s seen die or feels guilty about dying. Or at least he’d be reminded of Wayne’s death when Gwen dies.

In the comics of course Wayne has never ever been mentioned. Duh, because he didn’t exist until DeFalco invented him for this story. Of course we could draw comparisons with Sally Avril, a character from AF #15 who died in the comic book version of Untold Tales but whose death went unacknowledged in stories from the 60s-90s.

I think the critical difference there is that (IIRC) Peter wasn’t particularly responsible for her death whereas in the case of Wayne, whilst he didn’t push him off the building, his arrogance really did directly contribute to his death. Plus seeing a man die in such a horrible way, especially if it is the first time he’s ever seen a dead body, would likely leave a bigger impression upon Peter than the nature of Sally’s death, although I must admit it’s been a long time since I read that issue so perhaps I am wrong.

From a continuity stand point this is the minefield you always walk, but at the same time it’d be difficult to generate drama if you didn’t step on those mines occasionally.

I feel DeFalco here wanted to tell a dramatic story that had Peter grapple with a genuinely emotional situation and also took advantage of the nature of this story as a flashback tale.

And frankly he succeeded. If you view this either out of continuity or essentially within an incredibly generalized canon of Spider-Man (i.e. Gwen Stacy died, whether Peter did or didn’t think about Wayne is ambiguous though) the story very much works. I doubt DeFalco or anyone else was honestly feeling any of these stories were going to strictly be canon anyway. However for the record this story happens at some point after ASM #9 because when we get a list of Spider-Man’s opponents they all appeared up to that issue.

 Looking at the story itself its flaws are incredibly minor.

 Some of the dialogue feels old fashioned, but I argue that is likely by design since this is set in an older time period. We go over exposition related to Peter’s origin again, which is more the editor’s fault since we got those details in the first story of the anthology. In fairness revisiting it does serve a greater purpose here because the story is directly ruminating upon the nature of responsibility. In that sense it would’ve been more logical to open the book up with this than the Ant-Man story and I see little reason as to why this couldn’t have in theory happened at an earlier point chronologically. Yeah the Ant-Man story claims Spider-Man’s a new figure on the scene but the passage of time in the first 10 issues of ASM is so vague it’s really not unbelievable that even by issue #9 Spidey might still be considered ‘new’.

 Not only does the story explore (and successfully at that) the theme of responsibility, approaching it from the opposite direction from the lesson Ben’s death imparted, but it also features the supporting cast more. Flash, Aunt May, Jameson, the Bugle and public distrust of Spider-Man are all given notable roles to play in the story, again proving that THIS should’ve opened the book.

 To go back to the theme of responsibility for a moment, perhaps the most nuanced bit of writing in the story is when Peter is on the phone to Jameson. Peter has a really great ethical dilemma. Would it be irresponsible to profit off of Wayne’s death or would it be irresponsible to not profit off of it and use the money to support his Aunt May?

 DeFalco more than any other writer GETS Spider-Man and his depiction of Peter’s internal debate, whilst short, rings utterly true. What gets me is that most of the time whenever I’ve seen this sort of thing done with Peter he’s actually made a different decision, but here DeFalco recognizes that in actuality Peter WOULD consider his responsibilities as the bread winner outweigh what boils down to him merely feeling bad about profiting off a man’s death. It’s not all that different to when he faked photos of Electro to help Aunt May. Yes it’s unethical, but there was a higher responsibility, a greater good at stake.*

 Kent and Jeanette’s subplot, whilst arguably wrapped up unsatisfactorily, does a neat job of evoking something of a daytime drama or even noir story, and in that light fits wonderfully into the brand of stories Lee and Ditko churned out way back at the start.

 In fact of the two opening stories this one more successfully captured that era and by extension the approach of the comic book version of UToSM. Whilst the Ant-Man story was fun, it was the prose equivalent of a typical MTU super hero yarn complete with dodgy pseudo science.

 This story though? Now this is a Spider-Man  story. It has a singular main character (Kent is ultimately a supporting player) and whether he’s in or out of the costume the story is driven by the emotional and human problems faced by the character, not the fantastical super human issues. In classic Spidey manner those two halves of his life bleed over into one another and lack a clear cut divide.

 Really in the Ant-Man story Peter’s personal life would’ve gone mostly unaffected whether he had gotten involved or not. It wasn’t about Peter Parker, it was about Spider-Man. This story is about both.

 Peter needs money to look after himself, his home and Aunt May. So he looks for trouble as Spider-Man and pads out a fight. That gets someone killed which haunts Peter and makes him hesitate to BE Spider-Man, even whilst he reluctantly profits off it as Peter Parker which in turn contributes to his being falsely accused as Spider-Man and kids as school hating on him because he will not defend Spider-Man from these accusations.

 Wham, Bam, DeFalco is the Man. THAT’S a fucking Spidey story right there!

 The only thing for me which really and truly did let this story down wasn’t the fault of the book, but the audio production.

 I’m hoping DeSantos was just off his game for this story, but between this and his prior efforts I think he’s achingly miscast as the narrator of this title. He worked better narrating Stan Lee and Busiek’s forwards than the actual stories. As Aunt May, Kent and Jeanette he wasn’t that bad (actually pretty good as Kent), but his Peter/Spider-Man fails. He can’t even sell the emotion of the non-dialogue bits. He’s not a bad narrator, but not right for this book.

 Over all taken strictly within comics canon there are a lot of contradictions. But taken as it’s own thing or (I suspect) within the context of this one book, this is a knock out story.

 *By the way DeFalco also seamlessly blends humour and tragedy in the scene. Peter’s internal debate and horror at the prospect of profiting off of Wayne’s death leaves him in silence which in turn is misinterpreted by Jameson causing him to raise his offer which in turn causes Peter more internal strife. Just brilliant!

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Back in the Saddle (16x02)

Lots of stuff going on, as always!

Cons:

Someone hitting Maggie's car with a scooter and then nearly dying and then Owen accidentally shocking Tom in the balls was all... a lot of weirdness. This plot thread was about people being torn up and conflicted about my least favorite romance stories in the show. Maggie is pissed at Jackson for an insensitive social media post about how he's "free" now. And Owen and Tom are having a pissing contest over Teddy, who was conspicuous by her absence this week. You all know I'm team Tom Koracick, and I actually don't mind that he's being a bit of a dick right now. The guy has feelings and he's having trouble processing them. But watching him and Owen have this fight was just... so uninteresting to me. And now Tom is getting a restraining order against Owen? I'm annoyed because the writing and the framing here are meant to make Owen the reasonable one, and Tom the bitter crazy one. But Owen sucks. Yeah, Tom, is acting like a dick, but Owen sucks. I'm just so annoyed.

Maggie's rant to her patient's girlfriend about moving on from a bad relationship was just so annoying. Once again, Maggie makes every little thing about her. Her and Jackson somewhat smooth things over later in the elevator, but Maggie is still feeling mighty bitter. It's just... I don't like either of them when they're with each other. I need them to step back and have other story-lines with other characters for a while, please.

Bailey is trying to get the interns up to scratch and basically fast-track some of the less experienced doctors, since she's now missing Meredith, Alex, and Richard. The second that she told Helm that she could do a surgery, instead of DeLuca, I felt like I could recite the rest of the plot without trying. Helm does a good job at first, while DeLuca assists, feeling jilted. And then Helm messes up and freaks out, and DeLuca swoops in to save the day. And then DeLuca accuses Bailey of not letting him do the surgery because of his relationship with Meredith. You know, I like the idea of Bailey struggling with her feelings over what Meredith has done. But how many times are we going to watch someone have a freak-out during surgery on this show? It just feels so... performative, at this point.

Pros:

I love the idea of Meredith starting an impromptu clinic during her community service, and how she's using her power and privilege for good. There's a great deal of hubris here as well, of course, as she is so confident that she'll be able to avoid the worst of the consequences. It's brave and noble and all that, but Andrew isn't wrong to remind her that she has kids and a life and a career of her own to think about. This could be a really interesting thread to pull in the coming weeks. I doubt Meredith will lose her medical license at the end of all of this, but that doesn't mean it will be smooth sailing along the way.

We haven't seen a lot from Schmitt in these first two episodes, but here we do see him stealing medical supplies to bring to Meredith for her make-shift clinic. I like that he does a good thing, then gets worried about it - he's a Gryffindor. Brave, sure, but scared all of the time, too. I also liked Jackson being so casual about lying to cover for Schmitt, should it become necessary. That speaks to Jackson's privilege, too.

Like I said, I like the idea of Bailey struggling with her new reality. So much of her safety net has been taken from her, and she's left a bit uncertain and in the lurch. But with a pep talk from Ben, she gets back on the horse in no time. It remains to be seen how she's going to deal with DeLuca's insubordination, or Helm's mistake. She also has Tom Koracick lording his power over the other doctors, and for the first time in her career she can't turn to Richard for help.

Speaking of Richard, I am in love with his and Alex's story. They're going to fix this hospital up real good! I am so all about it! We are still in early stages, but we see here how hectic and bad the hospital is right now. Alex and Richard are both somewhat grumpy to be working there, especially Richard. But Alex gives him a pep talk. This place is falling down, but they have a real opportunity to make a change for the better. I love that, and can't wait to see how it goes.

Jo is back and better than ever! I love that Alex and Bailey fight over her, and that she leverages the offer from her husband in order to get a better offer from Bailey. That's such amazing stone-cold strategy right there. Jo was worried that upon her return, everyone was going to be treating her with kid gloves because of her mental health. But instead, these people know her. They know she's brilliant. And after everything Bailey has gone through with her own mental health challenges, she understands that needing some time off to work on yourself is no reason to stifle someone's potential.

Finally, Amelia and Link. I was so annoyed and disappointed about Amelia being pregnant at the end of last week's episode, and now I'm having to eat my words a bit. First of all, there's no drama about who the father is. It's Link's. Second of all, they are kind of very cute? And would probably make wonderful parents? I don't know. I love how this plot thread navigated Amelia's choice. Link still had a say and was allowed to feel feelings, and he did the exact right thing, telling Amelia he would be a father to their kid if she decided she wanted to keep the baby, and would drive her to the appointment if she decided to have an abortion.

I am oddly on board with all of this. It was nice to see Amelia talk about her feelings, process everything, and see Link do the same. As a bonus, we got to see Link talk things over with Jo, which means we're starting to build a bit of that relationship that we've heard so much about, but haven't really seen a lot on the show.

That's where I'll stop for now. This show is always reliable, because even if certain characters or subplots are annoying me, there are always others to grab my interest!

7.5/10

[popculturebuffet]

The Legend of the Three Caballeros: Mt. Fuji Whiz and Thanks a Camelot Reviews: Thank God, No Daisy (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Saludos amgios and welcome to the final sprint of THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS. If your wondering if this is a bit soon.. that’s because it is. While I planned to do the episodes as is before.. this bottom half of the series so far has been so good I couldn’t bare waiting days to get to the next episode just as things are getting really good, especially after the last episode’s cliffhanger. So today, I intend to FINISH the series, with an epilogue next week for my look at the cabs as a whole via a top 12 moments list. Plus i’m already excited for the next retrospective, so there’s that. And yeah Kev’s funding ANOTHER one and you can too.. serioulsy just shoot me an ask for any solo episode or arc you wan’t covered. But now’s not the time for shameless plugs, it’s the time for adventure and to sew up a cliffhanger! So come with me after the cut for some ghouls, ghosts and arthur won’t you?

PREVIOUSLY ON LEGEND OF THE THREE CABLLEROS:

And now the conclusion...

Mt. Fuji Whiz:

First off... let’s talk about the episode titles for the series since I don't think I have yet. 

It has bothered me for the ENTIRE run of the series how terrible most of them are. There all a pun of some kind on something involved with the episode.. but out of 13 episode titles the only ones I like are World-Tree Caballeros, No Man is an Easter Island, Stonehenge Your Bets, Nazca Racing and Thanks a Camelot. And most of them fit the theme of the episode with the exception of Stonehenge: World Tree is a clever pun they couldn’t NOT use, no man fits the theme of the episode as bad as that episode is, Nazca Racing is just another good pun and fits the race at the end, and thanks a Camelot while a very simple one, fits the story of that episode, i.e. everyone's dissatisfaction with Arthur’s training. More on that later. Point is the rest are just.. really cringe inducing puns. And I do LOVE a good pun.. but that’s a GOOD pun, not obvious ones about a “pyramid life-crisis” or a play on gee whiz in 2018 for god’s sake. And the finale title is just.. really awful as they gave up entirely and named it after square dancing for HOPEFULLY no adequate reason. And look the series is a comedy first with the action second, pun titles would be fine.. their just so bad it sucks all the pun out of them. See what I did there? THAT’S a pun. And not even a great one, but it’s still better than this. It feels like the titles were an afterthought and it’s obnoxious. and frustrates me every time I have to type them out. And with only four episodes left I had to get it out sometime. 

So moving onto the actual episode we pick up with the ending of last episode: Death killing the Cabs and Team Sheldgoose. And as we see shortly. he wasn’t bluffing. We pick up with them in the underworld in a dmv line. My god.. it’s even worse of a beaurcrcy than Beetlejuice. Feldrake informs the cabs where they are and Donald, being Donald, dosen’t have the patience to wait in line with the bilions of souls down there, especially since the take a number thing gave them a number that needed to be printed on both sides.. and their at 4. Good gag though. So Donald storms out the moment he sees and exit and our boys head into the city of the Damned. Sheldgoose meanwhile decides to do his best Karen and demands ot speak with the manager.. whose another Sheldgoose it turns out. Uh-Oh.  After the credits our boys explore the city and hoping not to get hit with more ghost cards, find shelter in a little tavern owned by none other than Clinton Coot, Donald’s Great-Grandpa and father of his grandmother Elvira Coot. Clinton initally mistakes the boys for their ancestors, and is disapionted in meeting donald, but once he learns their the ones that inehreted his Cabana, he’s exastic to meet and learn about them. We also learn he had a collection of fragile frontiersman figurines.. which cleverly, are all various versions of Scrooge from life and times. His second cowboy outfit from the side story “The Vigilante of Pizen Bluff”, his prospector outfit from “Terror of the Tranysval”, his klondike prospecter outfit and him finding the goose egg nugget from “King of The Klondike” and him bitterly hauling a sack of his loot into town from the same story. Also some palet swaps of all but the last one because animation is expensive. Panchito.. destroys them all while putting down his pIzza. “NOTHINGS BROKEN”. Clinton then invites the boys to have a sip of his memories, literally he drains some out and despite their relcutance the cabs take a chug.  They reveal prettty much.. every nagging question about the cabana. Clinton, after finding out about his ancestor Duego Duck, the original cabs version of donald, Clinton traveled the world and the 7 seas, everybody’s looking for something.. and he was looking for every trace of the cabs, and their mysterious ally, who we know as Xandra. He gathered all of it, hence the massive collection of books and magical treasures in the cabana, eventually finding their hidden lair and building his cabana on top of it, founding New Quackmore with Sheldgoose’s own great grandmother.. who betrayed him and took the institute from him. His consolation prize was finding Ari and the atlas but he couldn’t open it like the boys and is curious what they found. I absolutely love this and while I feel Clinton’s history would’ve worked better as an overaching mystery, there were seeds for all of this planeted throughout the season, with Sheldgoose being in charge despite the name and Clinton being involved, Shelgoose’s mention a sheldgoose has always been president, and the tease last episode. Still would’ve liked MORE exploration and build up to this , but what we got was facenating upgrading Clinton from a footnote on the duck family tree, to a throughly loveable character: A guy who was so fascenated by his ancestor’s adventures he became an adventurer himself and who lovingly catalogued eveyrthing the guy and his friends ever did.. and had some heartrending reasons why we’ll get to. 

 As Jose leads in with not what but WHO, and likely tells clint about their adventures, a clever way to get that exposition out off screen, we cut back to the world of the living. Xandra is beating herself up, if not literally over things, and while the girls just suggest going to the underworld via zoom point, Xandra points out that won’t work. There’s only one way in: Charon, the greek ferryman of the dead.. and she realizes that’s exactly how, while the girls try a seance.  I’ll just cover the séance stuff now. The girls hold a séance to summon the boys, finding some unfinished business (A piece of said pizza) and having ari dress like a fortune teller because eh why not. There’s some good gags and stuff, but it’s mostly plot irrelvant, only hurting Panchito’s brain at first, then summoning him just as their about to fight a Tengu, with humphrey eating the pizza finsihing the buisness. Not a bad plot at all and certainly refreshing after all the Daisy nonsense last episode, but nothing really important.  Meanwhile let’s also get to Xandra’s subplot, which is both mroe relevant and funnier and again i’ll be covering all at once for convience. Xandra finds that the horn to summon Charon... is now a sax.  Huh so THAT’S what pamela anderson’s character CJ was doing when she was introduced on baywatch. 

Anyways turns out Charon’s reinvented the old boat and since Xandra’s an immortal he offers her a free ride. It’s now a cruise ship with him as the captain, voiced by voice acting legend Jim Cummings who does a fantastic job. The reasonings also brilliant: he wasn’t getting many WILLING souls with his creepy old setup, so he reinvinted things and now has a packed house, plenty of coins and a nonstop party. He even gives us an add for the buisness... this whole thing is fucking amazing and deserves to be praised and is the series at it’s best: taking something mythic and giving it some wacky but still clever tweaks. Xandra eventually gets annoyed as he isn’t going into the city so she can’t look for the cabs and takes the wheel, cursing her to be the captain now, but she just uses that to get in and finds clinton who agrees to guide her to the boys... we’ll get to where he guided them in a moment. 

And that moment is now, Clinton tells the boys there is a way out, but it involves fighting the Tengu, which is misdentified as a falcon despite, even as someone with only a surface knowledge of yokai, I knew it’s modled after a crow, or at least some versions are as it turns out.. and so is the one here so how did they screw that one up?

Point is they need to get past it, and are on a timer as when the Creepy combination of jack skeltington and that moon from Majora’s mask that’s in the sky sets and night ends, their stuck. But first they run into a guard who says they have to fill out paperwork.. and his superior is intend on that, his superior being unsuprisingly sheldgoose, who got the gig since his family runs the afterlife. Oh goodie the rich also somehow run death....

But Donald decides FUCK PAPERWORK, throws it in the air and they run for it with Sheldgoose sicing the tengu on them, which looks awesome by the way. Panchito disappears as mentioned before just as they get a plan but returns in time to free his friends and they triumph.. only for Sheldgoose to not take this lying down and summon his entire family to kick their assses. So both sides power up: having learned the trick from clinton earlier, the cabs inflate.. part of their bodies while sheldgoose forms a voltron style fusion made up of his ancestor’s heads.. with the caveman as the crotch. 

So a fight insues that’s fluid and beautifully animated, and Xandra even arrives to provide backup, with Charon relieving her because he’ could loose his five star rating. I hear you man I struggled just to get my island up to a four. So it becomes a gorgeously animated and awesome fight with Clinton joining inn, finally able to be one of his heroes. He also reitarates something he told donald, that it’s not the journey.. it’s who you take it with and part of his love of the cabs was never having companions like that. Donald takes it to heart and our heroes take their leave, Clinton finally having achieved his lifes’ work. They decide to see japan because why not. Maybe they’ll run into hannibal there. 

And to tie things off, Shelgoose and Feldrake, whose spent the etnire epsidoe still in the staff depsite being dead and...

And find.. a demonic version of Donald in a devil costume, from that short with the devil and angel Donald's.. okay I have some questions. 

He sends them back and we’re out

Final Thoughts for Mt. Fuji Whiz: One of the series best. It’s well paced, has an amazing concept and both sideplots have some form of relevance while being utterly hilarious, especially the charon one. Seriously best bit character of the series calling it now. Already headcanon him as part of the ducktales universe. Along with a lot of this actually. IT’s good stuff and despite the series falts episodes like this prove why it really needed, and still needs, a second season. 

Thanks a Camelot:

Our heroes return to the land of the living with Xandra and to the Cabana, and while Donald wants to relax a bit, Xandra being an ass shoots that down. Though her reasons are valid: Feldrake has been stepping up his game with every scheme.. which is true. HIs last two schemes, not counting his post mortem one, only BARELY didn’t kill them and actually did kill them, and him too but that wasn’t on purpose. They need some good old fashioned hero training so Xandra’s taking the to king arthur and camelot, which of course are still around, to get it and since his training involves leaving everything behind, they leave htier weapons and other stuff behind including their amulets.. which haven’t come up since but are now since their important to the finale i’m guessing and they’ve been wearing the whole time. The girls are tagging along too as they want to document things because the plot says so but their entertaining so fine and leaving Ari and the Bear to guard. And the barrier.. more the barrier.  So with our heroes off Feldrake decides they need to strike and Sheldgoose has a plan to get around the barrier to get Humphrey’s spark: hide inside a cake and have humphrey so overcome by his desire for cake he comes to them. Feldrake is unimpressed but it works.. and even better as he drags them in.. but apparently while Feldrake’s protections are keyed to our heroes bloodline.. coot’s only extneded to feldrake. Which makes sense: he was friends with a Sheldgoose and probably didn’t consider her an enemy till he’d already set the spells, and cleverly, and i’d forgotten this till writing this review: Sheldgoose has already BEEN on the Cabana grounds once and to the doorstep, in the first episode when he visited the yardsale and in the finale of the second when he showed up to give Donald his check. So the show even showed it.. we just didn’t think about it or assumed having the ring meant he couldn’t now. But nope Sheldgoose is inside and Humphrey’s knocked out. 

Back in merry old Camelot, I apolgoize for having a deficit of spamalot and Monty Python refrences, our heroes meet King Arthur, voiced by former star of said spamelot John O’ Hurley, who I was going to give a good treatment and go into his career.. then I found out he’s VERY conservative, pro trump even post riot and generally kind of an ass in how he conducts himself soooo instead a hearty

Does a good job here, still a weasel fiesta. So King Arthur trains our heroes.. via motivational statments, trust falls and what not with his knights who get the same traning, one of which is Gallhad, a frog voiced by the same guy who viced Kermit on muppet babies. Yayyyyy. The girls wonder off, finding Merlin, whose busy with spells and such and clarfying which one is which. They give him june’s phone as Merlin has a video game addiction but Arthur forbids it because well. he has a problem why wouldn’t he.  Ruined Todd Chavez’s life it did. I mean it’s exceptional now but it took a bit of living on a drunken horse with serious issues couch. 

Anyways, Donald soon gets fed up because.. hes Donald. And because.. Tony kinda leans on the more classic constantly angry donald in this one, since he DID help write the lines. It’s not BAD mind you.. but I prefer the melding of his comics and shorts self other works did, the smug ego and everyman desperation to be noticed and liked from the comics mixed with the ego but also tons of rage of the shorts. Kinda like how Daffy had his own egotistical smartguy version merged with his screwball version for the Looney Tunes Show.. which i’ve been rewatching lately. Even better than I remember, highly underated. 

My point is this Donald, as we approach the end .. isn’t for me. He’s just not as intresting as the cloudcuckoolander panchito or the smootha nd wise jose. He ballances them well, being the more direct angry one to panchito’s unpredicablity and Jose’s smooth compemplation. He’s not BAD, and i get why some would prefer this one over Ducktales, as he’s more in line with his classic characterzation.. but I just prefer a more nuanced Donald and this one isn’t it. He spends most of the series either complaning, pissed off, or pining for an ungreatful she demon. There’s not a lot of notes compared to Jose or Panchito, as Jose isn’t just a ladies man or a charmer but a fairly smart guy who has pretty damn good plans and Panchito isn’t just spacey but, kind brave and with his own moral code. They just got more fleshing out as things went and Donald didn’t and it’s disappointing. 

So Donald gets fed up with the training, and calls out it’s only motivatoinal, with the other cabs agreeing, if more tactfully, and the knights.. also agreeing, pointing out King Arthur dosen’t even do his own goofy self motivational exercises and abandon him.. at the worst possible time as the girls conjur up a super powerful magical dragon. So the knights leave him to it and Arthur is too cowardly to face it. So the Cabs do what he won’t and charge in to defend the holy grail, called the grail of immortality here for ..r easons, and fight the dragon.. and Arthur joins them, inspired to finally get his groove back and gives the knights a rousing speech and even reconclies with donald. So our heroes fight the dragon and nearly die, before the rest of the round table pitches in, and the girls find the dragons scroll and impulsively burn it.. which destorys it. So the day’s saved, and Arthur apologizes to everyone and decides to give the boys proper combat training as thanks. Also we get a really funny bit with Merlin, who throws the phone into the fire.. and much like the dragon, apparenlty it was tied to the employee who activated it because he suddenly and horrifcly burns up. PFFT. Dark but beautfiul

But of course what about the Sheldgoose subplot. Well I saved that for now to cover it all at once SO: Sheldgoose pokes around, being annoyed by a dart board of his face and what not and tries to find something to fish the spark out with... but Ari finds him and proves to be entirely useful, beating Sheldgoose down into the treasure chamber and getting inot a fight with him. Sheldgoose holds pace.. until Humphrey wakes up and with the odds against him they throw him out. Meanwhile Feldrake zaps a dog that was going to get peed on him but when sheldgoose is ejegted is surronded by dogs and clearly didn’t escape as he dosne’t want to taklk about why he smells to sheldgosoe. He is ABOUT to berate him for failure again.. but Sheldgoose points out he swiped something more important: The amulets. 

Proving once again Sheldgoose is the real power in the team. 

Final Thoughts on Thanks a Camelot:  This was a fun one. While finding out about John O Hurley was... unfortunte.. he does a decent job and the episodes a fun take on camelot with, as usual , really excellent gags, pacing and a hell of a fight scene with a dragon. Good stuff as usual

NEXT TIME; It all ends! It’s a visit to some yeti’s before one final dance betwen good and evil and one last set of episodes for this retropsective! Be ready! 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Abramazing Spider-Man #2 Thoughts

More crap.

Let’s deal out some of the minor positives I have.

The art continues to be nice.

Having a Spider-Man get into heroing via the influence of their love interest is something different for whatever that is worth.

Ben burning the suit only to then immediately regret it was a funny subersion of expectations. It made me chuckle.

The only thing I noted as derivative of older Spider-Man stories was the cliché burning of the costume in the backyard.

The recap page did a good job of catching up new readers. Yes. I’m praising the recap page. Let that sink in.

Okey dokey that’s enough now.

Whilst last issue initially made me vaguely interested before chatter surrounding me converted me into hating it, this issue was more bland and going by through the motions.

The thing is last issue so utterly tainted my (and everyone else’s) experience that I am struggling to look past the fact that this is obviously amateurish and actively deceptive of the readers.

That’s perhaps made me resentful to most of the things in the story, I know I’m probably not being fair and balanced in my approach to it.

But all I can say here is how I felt about the book and how I felt about it was supremely unimpressed.

I want to address some tiny points before diving deeper. So Peter is a super scientist but somehow he couldn’t find or design a camera that would work better for him as a one handed man?

Benny clearly never used the webshooters before and yet he’s swinging around with a degree of experience that doesn’t make sense when it’s literally his first try. Hell he’s even carrying someone while he’s at it.

I also don’t get the passage of time or the physics of the web swinging scene. So they are standing on the ground, he shoots a webline, smash cut to a splash page of them swinging, with the dialogue clearly conveying the latter clearly follows the former. Comic books are sequential storytelling. One scene or sequence should lead into another, in particular when conveying movement. Ron Frenz was a master at this, rarely if ever, were you questioning how characters moved from Position A to Position B. I don’t know if this was Pichelli’s fault or if it was Henry Abrams just wanting a cool shot but it sucks.

The recap page claims that Ben accidentally hit the bully from last issue harder than he meant to, and maybe I’m just forgetting something, but I did not get that impression. So good job telling me stuff about last issue that the story itself failed to convey.

Finally Faye Ito/Ito Faye/Asian Michelle Jones/Benny’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype collides face first mid swing into a billboard. But she’s fine. She’s not even scratched or banged up? What? Would that have made her less pretty or something? Also I guess that scene was a callback to Spider-Man 2002, but I’m not griping about that.

Let’s move on to the more significant problems with the comic book.

I’m not the first person to point this out, but I think it bears repeating, this comic book feels like a movie, and I mean that in a bad way.

The panelling feels like a fill storyboard more than a comic book, it’s not making great use of the things you can do with the medium or the space provided. You want a great example of the opposite check out the art in Absolute Carnage: Seperation Anxiety #1.

Tied in with this criticism is the idea that the Abrams (well Abrams the younger) have developed this story like a film.

I am going to slightly disagree here. I think it’s more as though they’ve designed this as a prestige TV mini-series with a Hollywood film budget. I say this because the way this issue starts and finishes feels like a Netflix episode more than the second half hour of a movie.

Part and parcel of that was the obnoxiously incremental advancement of the Cadaverous and Peter subplots. Cadaverous spewed random cryptic nonsense that existed more to remind us he existed than actually accomplish anything.

Peter’s job overseas...again, why is he not just a scientist if he’s retired altogether? He’s not even a science photographer, he’s basically a grizzled Jimmy Olsen or something. Peter became a shutterbug because it was convenient, he didn’t really want to do that long term as a career, his ambitions lay in science, a job that if anything would be far more accommodating for his disability than going to dangerous parts of the Middle East to awkwardly snap photos. It’s not even like being a scientist would preclude him from getting away from NYC or his son if that’s the idea. He could be travelling for conventions and conferences. I also don’t get why we needed as many scenes of Peter overseas as we got nor why it bothered to linger on the tragedies experienced by the people there. It wasn’t like it was a lot but it’s panel time that could be put to better use. At best it felt like a pretentious attempt at being deep, at worst it might be set up that plays into the story later. The thing is the Middle East doesn’t really make for great Spider-Man stories, nor indeed most international conflicts.

Getting into the meat of this issue...Faye...fuckign Faye.

She’s a cliché.

In fact lots of stuff in this story is cliché, it’s just that unlike last issue they aren’t cliches specifically drawing from older Spider-Man stories, they’re more general clichés.

The thing that really annoyed me with Faye and Benny’s interactions was that she was obviously being played up as a kind of remixed Black Cat/Catwoman due to her costume. Like she’s supposed to be a bad influence on him or something, exemplified by the fact that she shoots down and subverts Peter’s famous motto about responsibility. It didn’t even make sense. Having responsibility gives you power...what?????????????????????????

Benny himself continues to be bland and boring as a protagonist to follow. Like so much of this story thus far he feels like a typical film or TV protagonist having issues with their Dad and in that regard is just going through the motions. I dunno if I’d call him passive per se, but he’s not too far removed from being passive that’s for sure; but not as passive as Aunt May.

I mean blaming his Dad for abandoning being Spider-Man and his mother’s death. I practically predicted the dialogue from the moment that scene started up and whilst okay it’s never been done in Spider-Man before strictly speaking it’s so generic to countless other forms of media, including other superhero comic books, it’s just banal.

His belief that he is a freak is also questionable, specifically it brings into question the world building of this universe. Were this a world where only Spider-Man existed as a hero (more or less like the Raimi movies) then that’d be fine. Even in a world of mutants that’d also be fine, though you’d imagine mutant acceptance would’ve 10+ years removed from when Peter was active. But so far this version of the Marvel Universe feels very generalized in regards to the MCU.

It’s like the Spider-Man and MJ of this universe were generalized versions of the Raimi films iteration, jammed into a generalized version of the MCU where mutants do not exist and the 2012 Avengers are THE Avengers. But if that’s the world Benny grew up in, why would being born with powers make him jump to ‘freak’? He’s just a superhero, that’s cool in a world where there is no mutant stigma and where the Avengers are revered fallen heroes.*

My final criticism is in regards to the final sequence. It was just weird.

Benny and the civilian he was rescuing had dialogue that was far more casual than the situation demanded. Like dude, you’ve been blown up, buried alive and rescued by a bona fide superhero who’s not been seen in 10 years and now killer robots are surrounding you. Who is that chill in such a scenario? Who goes through all that and at the end basically says ‘lol classic Spidey lol’?????

The civilian also had odd dialogue where it was as though Henry was throwing shade at the premise of the book itself, about how lame an older, disabled Spider-Man with a beard and a kid would be.

But like Henry...YOU came up with that? If you think it’s lame why are you making 5 issues worth of it????????????????

My final point is that whilst the artwork is praiseworthy, it’s also far from Pichelli’s best work. It’s in fact noticeably lower quality than the work she was producing on the 2016 Miles Morales titles or even the debut of that character.

My recommendation?

Don’t read this. If you are truly curious wait for the trade to come out and then buy it as cheaply as possible?

As for me, I’m sticking this out to the end but I’m also going to be saving my money and reducing my order to just one copy and have cancelled my pre-order of the trade.

Ever since Spencer showed up I’ve made a concerted effort to support the spider titles I like and want to see more of (that’s code for the titles featuring MJ) and since last issue deceived me and this issue failed to impress, I don’t want more work like this from Marvel in the future.

*Also I’m going to be pissed if it turns out a chucklefuck like Cadaverous wound up taking out the Avengers somehow. Like really, this clown did them in?