#also as long as I have a tripod and a way to view what the camera sees to fix posture and angles

[jisungchan]

hot to go! | c.sn

or, when you meet one of your customers as a camgirl.

pairing/au: san and camgirl! fem reader, nonidol! au general content/summary: you meet (and fuck) one of your clients, emotions kinda talked about, hinting at wanting more, idk what else lmk, NO race specific descriptors (skin colour, hair texture, etc.), NO body type specific descriptors (size of reader body parts, BUT reader is alluded to being smaller than san i think, weight, etc.) genre: smut, fluff at the end

⚔︎ sexual content warnings (explicit): spitting scene (idk why these show up in all my fics...), bigdick!san agenda (always and forever), stomach bulge, raw sex (do NAWT do this), he does NAWT pull out (pls practise safe sex), f! and m! oral receiving, 3 diff positions because why not, three reader orgasms, marking and biting, a singular ass slap, soft dom!san, kinda sub!reader, a clit nibbling and pinching (i have no words), pet names (baby, sweet girl, angel, etc), a cutie lil aftercare moment, lmk if i forgot anything :D 

~6.1k word count nets: @mirohs-aurora-society and @illusionnet

a/n: thank u to the lovely folks over at @mirohs-aurora-society for helping me finish writing this !

do you ever think about how your life could be ruined in an instant? 

sure, the money and lack of a 9-5 job was glorious, but what would happen if people found out exactly why and how you were able to live like this? the lie you told your friends was that you worked as a copywriter. it was boring enough so there were no further questions asked, but also legitimate enough as to why you never go into an office. the truth is, you did work with technology, well, sort of. if you consider being an anonymous cam girl as working with technology, then, yes! you are still pursuing the traditional route, going to university to get your bachelor’s in some stupidly worthless major. your friends worked as waiters, baristas, uber drivers, and any other typical college job. you wanted an easy way to make money in the comfort of your own home, was that too much to ask for?

so, during one of the many nights you spent thrashing in bed, contemplating your life, you remember a remark one of your friends made to you years ago.

“why don’t you just become a pornstar?”

at the time, you laughed it off. there was no way you were comfortable putting everything out there for another stranger’s enjoyment like that. but, one lonely night, you decided to give it a try.

what’s the worst that could happen?

putting on the prettiest lingerie you owned, which happened to be a simple matching baby blue mesh set (what’s the need for lingerie when you barely have time for yourself?). you found a somewhat reputable website you stumbled across, and quickly signed up for an account. you put no thought into the username, simply opting for “blossomiebaby”, as you weren’t expecting this to last very long. you set up your phone on a tripod, one which you cannot remember why you bought, and started the stream.

at first, you were very awkward. if the 3 viewers could see your face, they would say you looked like a deer in headlights. you kneeled on your bed, whole body in view with the camera cutting off half way up your neck, keeping your face safely out of frame. 

the few viewers so far were giving you many compliments and also advice on what to do, how to pose your body, and other tips on helping you help them. after a few minutes, you grew more comfortable and started to move fluidly on your own, twisting and pushing your body to various positions that caused you to hear the donations pour in. you didn’t even undress, or do anything explicit, and somehow your first show did well. 

the next stream you did, you had a little extra preparation for. thanks for the generous donors in your first stream, you bought a new, actual lingerie set, a dildo, and some lube. the sex toy and lube sat out of view on your nightstand, you weren’t sure if you were ready to use it or not, so you thought it was best to leave that decision up to yourself. you slipped on yet another set, this time soft baby powder pink ruffled bloomers and a matching cropped dainty tank top, they both adorned bows in the centre and poofed out on your body beautifully. you felt a lot more comfortable this time around, expertly setting the camera up the way you like and laying on the bed. you laid on your stomach, rear tutted up and frilly lace covered feet swinging in the back as you teased your growing audience with a closeup of the lower half of your face. this time, your viewer count was growing by the dozens; it was near 100 when you climbed away from the camera, kneeling on the bed. your soft plush thighs splayed out as you sat on your knees, your thigh high socks stretching with the new position.

you toyed with the hem of your top, pulling it down to create a v-shape, exposing more of your collarbone and a bit of cleavage. you leaned forward again to give your viewers a close up, still hearing the steady flow of donation chimes coming through. this time, your head dipped to the bottom corner of the video as you displayed your deeply arched back and wiggling rear to the camera. 

that night, you hadn’t pulled out any toys, and even now that it has been about a year since you have started, you still haven’t shown much more. sure, you have gotten more generous with being a bit more revealing, but your private parts stayed private. what you do on stream those few days a week is seductively pose and fondle your body for your audience. however, you have upgraded to speaking to them now. you found adding the element of your voice has upped both your viewership and income. and some nights where you’re feeling extra nice, and needy, you tease yourself a bit through your bottoms, for both your relief as well as your audience. staring at yourself posing lewdly for hours sometimes makes you turn yourself on.  

another night, another stream. 

tonight’s outfit is something a bit spooky, it is the beginning of halloween month! tonight, you put on a sexy nurse costume. definitely basic, but also a crowd pleaser. the thin, tight white dress hugs your body perfectly, the red collar and details pop out against your skin tone. you also put on a pair of white lace thigh high socks, now a sort of staple of yours. you turn to set the camera up just the way you like it, hoping for another good night of work.

however, just before you start the stream, you notice a message from someone,

themountain: trick or treat? 

you giggle at the stupid line, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t curious as to where this was going. 

blossomiebaby: hmmm, treat? 

themountain: *$500 donation*

themountain: and if you want, i can still show you some tricks later ;) 

your jaw drops at the huge donation this ‘themountain’ user just sent through. the username seems vaguely familiar, but you don’t remember anything outstanding or specific about him. 

blossomiebaby: thank you mr. mountain man :) 

blossomiebaby: do you stream?

themountain: nah, but for you i’d do a private stream

and maybe it was the fact this man just dropped $500 on you, or maybe the fact that he seems so charming from the few texts, or maybe it was the fact you’re ovulating– but either way, you knew you had to take him up on his offer. 

blossomiebaby: are you comfortable with a two way stream?

blossomiebaby: wanna show my appreciation 

themountain: anything for you, baby

as you go on your laptop to invite him to the private stream, you feel insane. sure, you’ve had private streams for small groups of your highest paying customers, but nothing like this. with the two way stream, you would basically be on facetime with him. 

ding!

no turning back now.

the mysterious mountain user enters the stream, and you see the lower half of the screen flicker from black to a man’s broad chest and square shoulders. 

he sits in a very fitted black short sleeve compression shirt, it shows off his triangular stature as he waist disappears under the dim lighting. you can see a peak of what you presume to be grey sweatpants, typical manwhore outfit. 

you are sitting on your bed, knees bent as you press the heels of your feet into the mattress. you’re also at an angle against the camera, making your legs appear longer as you lean back on your hands set behind you. 

“awww, did i pull you away from streaming tonight?” the stranger lifts the camera up a bit, and you watch a dimple appear as he smiles while speaking. you unknowingly press your thighs together a bit to suppress the desire starting to flow through your body down to your core. 

you simply nod, too afraid to speak as your brain is slowly turning to mush. 

“i would say i’m sorry, but i’m happy to have you all to myself tonight.” he chuckles, those same dimples marking his face as he smiles. 

you giggle back at his comment, “so, what tricks do you have up your sleeve?” 

“hmm, well, it can be whatever you want. you seem a little nervous, so we can just talk.” this time when he smiles, there’s no playfulness behind it, it seems full of sincerity. 

you shake your head, but he tuts and starts making simple conversation. eventually, you move to a more comfortable position, sitting with your legs crossed in front of you as you drift off into conversation with him. 

it’s only when you get a notification that your laptop is about to die when you see the time, you had been chatting, nonsexually, with this strange man for over two hours. 

“i think i’ve kept you long enough, but i hope you enjoyed our conversation, it was nice getting to know you, blossom.” he says, his hands go upward to the mouse on his desk.

and you know it is definitely not the smartest move, but you can’t even think before you blurt out,

“can i give you my number?” 

a few weeks have passed, and you still do your streams. as it gets closer to finals season, you slow down a bit, wanting to focus on your academics and prioritising that over your income currently. however, the main thing that has now changed in your life is a constant you never thought would happen.

san

after he quadruple checked you were truly okay with giving him your number, he decided to give you his instead, in case you changed your mind. he said he wanted you to feel as comfortable and safe as possible, so he gave you the power to reach out to him instead. which you did, the next day. and ever since, you both have been texting and calling nonstop. and this is how you came to know more about the man behind themountain user, san. he also sent you a few photos of him, and wow, he is a gorgeous man. 

people always refer to women as beautiful and pretty, but san is the prettiest man you have ever seen. of course, his body is also mesmerising, but his face alone makes you think impure thoughts and pumps arousal through your veins. 

after a few weeks of texting, you still wanted more. but you were nervous, and you also didn’t know quite what you wanted from him. did you want to ask him on a date? he is local, but you also felt weird about asking him on a date, especially because of how you met. did you just want to meet up and hang out? but then, maybe he would get the wrong impression if you invited him to your place. i mean, it wouldn’t necessarily be the wrong impression, as you did spend many nights under your sheets thinking of him, but you thought that would be too forward, 

hey, wanna come over mine and fuck?

yeah, you definitely can’t say that. 

luckily, san was able to be on the same page as you. one night while you were studying, you got a text. you told him how you’ve been busy preparing for finals, and he respected you taking some time away from the internet. 

san: have you eaten?

y/n: no, been too busy studying :( 

san: that’s no good angel :( 

you smiled, as you read his texts, he was always so sweet to you and caring. it seemed like he cared about you more than just the nature of your job. it seemed like he saw you as a person, not just a body for his own pleasure. 

san: what do you want to eat? 

y/n: hmmm, i’ve been craving some sushi. maybe i’ll get some after i’m done.

you looked away at the time, it was starting to near 11:00pm, and you knew most places would be closing soon. in your mind, you already started thinking of what you could put together in your kitchen. 

san: that won’t do, how about i send some food to yours?

and if you thought san had made your heart skip a beat before, this time he truly did. you froze in place, staring at the message in the corner of your laptop until it swiped itself away. you open up the message thread and stare a bit more. 

san: i’m sorry, i can just send you some money to order it yourself, does that sound better sweetie?

it warmed your heart to think that he thought he crossed a line, but in your mind, it was quite the opposite. you looked over at your planner, you had finished everything due for the next few days, so you had a bit of time to spare. 

y/n: why don’t you just pick something up for us? i could use some company to distract me from school.

after hovering over the send button for a moment, you finally pressed down on it. you took another look at your message sent and shut your phone off, throwing it to the other side of the couch as you curled up and screamed. 

for someone who made a living off of seducing men, you sure didn’t have a lot of in person experience of dating and romance. 

and even though you threw your phone so you could escape his reply back, your laptop was still open, so you heard the ding! when he replied back 

san: just ordered it, send me your address so i can ease that pretty little head of yours 

another scream leaves your throat as you quickly send him your address before you can even think to change your mind. you stand up and shut the laptop, looking around your place. noticing the state of your home, you start manically cleaning up and trying to make things look as nice as possible. you didn’t know exactly where he lived, so you had to hurry in case he would be there soon. 

you ran to your room and did the same, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and pushing it into your closet. you took a look at yourself in the mirror, the days of reading and being locked inside your place was evident on your face and body. you decided to take a quick shower, something you had been neglecting in favour of studying. after your place was straightened out and you threw on some more presentable clothing, which just happened to be an oversized tee and some soft shorts. even though san had likely seen a lot more of your body on camera, the thought of him seeing it in person sent shivers down your spine. 

and just as you sat back down with the recollection that he has never seen your face, you hear a 

ring!

shaken out of your thoughts, you shakily get up to walk toward the front door. you pause as your hand hovers over the door knob. once you open it, there’s no turning back. you open that door, and your identity is revealed, you’ll be letting a stranger come into your home which you have crafted to your safe space. after a few moments, you slowly unlock your door and turn it open. what if you’re getting catfished? what if this wasn’t some nice customer who you have befriended, but a crazed fan who’s going to harm you once you allow him in? it’s too late, the door is already cracked open, and all the person on the other side would have to do is fit their shoe in the opening to enter your place. but, much to your pleasant surprise, the door stays cracked. you can see a peek of the man on the other side, his physique seems similar to the man who you have been chatting with for the past few weeks, and it brings a small smile to your lips. he’s rocking on his feet, maybe he’s nervous too? 

“if you don’t want to let me in, i’ll leave the food here.”

there is a twinge of disappointment in his voice, but it’s mostly full of compassion. and just as you hear him place the bags on the floor and his heavy footsteps, you take a step back to swing your door open. 

“i’m sorry, come in san.” 

he turns back around quickly, just to see you bend down to pick the bag up and smile at him,

“it’s not like i’m going to eat all this food by myself.”

san follows you into your place, removing his shoes and hanging his jacket up. he stands awkwardly at your entrance as you place the bags on your coffee table and sit back on your couch. you turn around and giggle at his nervous state, it somehow puts you at ease to see him just as nervous, if not even more, than you. you motion him to come sit next to you, but he seems a bit frozen in place. 

of course, san knew you had a beautiful body, he would be lying if he thought otherwise. afterall, the way you two ‘met’ was through your body. however, after talking to you for the past few weeks, he has gotten to know you a lot deeper than just the lingerie you drape over your figure. he’s gotten to know more about your personal life, your likes and dislikes, your academic and career goals and endeavours, and everything else in between. he would be lying if he said he hasn’t fallen in love with you over these past few weeks. he genuinely wasn’t expecting it to happen, falling for a camgirl? before he thought that would be equivalent to falling in love with a hooker; it would take a fool to think they would want anything more than his money. but, he cannot stop the prominent beating in his chest as he walks over, seeing your face for the very first time.

seeing the last piece of the puzzle that was missing of you filled his body up with admiration. here you were, letting him in your home, seeing your face, and not in front of a camera. he’s seeing you in a state he never has before, actually covered in baggy clothes, hiding the figure he has only ever seen you flaunt. your face isn’t cut out of frame, but fully in front of his face, all just for him to go over and analyse each one of your gorgeous features. from the way your nose curves perfectly into your face, your eyebrows framing your eyes perfectly, and the small smile on your plump lips as he sits next to you as you open the bags up. 

“thanks for the food, and coming over. i’m sorry if it was a bit sudden.” you nervously say, shying away from his lingering fixation on your face. 

he stutters, “it’s no problem, i’m happy to help.” he smiles back at you, helping you untie the bags to get ready to eat. you reach for the remote as he lays down the food and drinks on the table. flipping through numerous streaming channels to land on the perfect thing to watch. your uneasiness quickly flows away from you, and it’s evident san is feeling the same. he’s no longer as tense sitting next to you, he rolls up his sleeves and relaxes into the cushions, widening his legs to get more comfortable. you can’t help but think how right this all feels. your thoughts no longer compile of anxiety and fear of the man sitting next to you, but instead morph into familiarity and comfort. you put on a random episode of the office and you both start eating the delicious food in front of you.

it’s quiet as you both eat and watch the show, only some small noises of you two enjoying the food leaves your mouths as you chew on the sushi and wash it down with drinks. 

the food is now long gone, and you both have somehow ended up lightly cuddling on the couch, eyes still glued to dwight and michael scott on the television. laughs and dry chuckles escape your lips at the stupid humour as you find yourself nuzzling into san’s chest with his arm draped around you. 

you both are made aware of your current position when netflix shines a notification on the screen,

are you still watching?

you scramble out of his grasp as you reach for the remote. however, in your haste, you drop both the remote and the remnants of your drink all over your shirt. you rush to stand up, droplets dripping from your shirt to your carpet. san stands up and rushes to the kitchen, grabbing some towels and water to clean up the mess on your carpet as you run to your bedroom. you close the door and stand against it, cursing for making a fool of yourself in front of him. you’re feeling flustered as you look down at your shirt, now stained from the drink and throw it off your now sticky body. you head straight to the bathroom, opting to take a quick shower so you don’t feel so gross. 

meanwhile, san has finished up getting the spill off your carpet, and the bit that was wasted on the sofa. he goes to the sink to wash the towels to his best abilities, and his mind starts to wonder what’s taking you so long to change. mindlessly, he follows the droplets to your bedroom door. he knocks, but when he doesn’t hear anything back, he gets a little anxious. you did seem quite upset when you spilled, so he doesn’t think twice when he opens the door to your bedroom after you don’t answer his knocks and calls. 

walking into your bedroom, he notices your shirt thrown on the floor and picks it up to place it in your poorly hidden, overfilled hamper peeking from your closet door. then, he hears a click!, and sees you walk out of the attached bathroom (which he wishes he would have noticed earlier), with your body naked and dripping wet. 

he hurriedly shuts his eyes, puts his arm over them, and turns away, just to be safe (as if shutting his eyes wasn’t enough). you quickly grab your towel off your bed and cover yourself with it. silence envelops the room as he stands there with his back toward you, and you can’t help but let your eyes traverse around the broad expanse of his back, his other arm dangling, sleeve still rolled up with veins running across up and down his forearms. you quickly and quietly dry yourself off and walk over to him, all logic escaping your mind as you nudge him to turn around. 

“i’m sorry, i just wanted to make sure you were oka–”

you cut him off with a gentle kiss on his lips. he just looked so cute standing there, like a deer in the headlights apologising profusely for invading your space. you didn't mind though, if anything, you’re starting to thank your clumsy self for knocking over the stupid drink. 

after san starts to realise what’s happening, his hands move to your waist, lightly groaning when he feels you’re still just in a towel. he presses your body impossibly closer to his, and you feel he strong torso against your chest as you strain your neck to kiss him back, hungrier this time. 

he pulls away from you for a moment, lust clouding his eyes as he stares at your face. instead of the admiration he had earlier, it has now been replaced with need and arousal, something dark takes his features over. but, before he can act out on them, he needs to make sure you’re okay with this. 

“you know, i didn’t come over here for this.” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck as he breathes in your freshly showered scent. 

“i know, which is why i want you.” you tug at his hair so he can look at you, so he can see how serious you are about this, about him. 

he wastes no more time as he gently shoves you to the bed, his body hovers over yours in a now heated makeout session. cleanliness is thrown out the window as you transfer spit from each of your mouths, desperate to feel him. you feel him poke in to explore your mouth, painting it with his tongue in every crevice he can find. one of your hands goes to his chest as the other goes back to his hair, tugging slightly to elicit beautiful groans from his mouth straight to yours. 

you’re starting to feel antsy, and as you’re wiggling around with need, your towels undoes itself. san pulls away again, this time shamelessly fucking you with his hungry eyes. wordlessly, he travels down your body, pressing wet kisses into your neck, chest, stomach, and thighs. you feel his hot breath fan across your growingly wet folds, and he looks at your pussy with such strong intent, you start to feel nervous. you go to shut your legs, but he uses his strong hands to pry them back open. he sticks out his tongue and licks a fat, wet stripe up from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit. you moan and arch your back at the sensation. it’s been so long since you’ve had any type of real sexual release, and now that you’re getting it with the hottest man between your thighs, it makes your head swirl. 

he hooks an arm around your thigh and presses his hand onto your stomach, forcing you down to keep still as his tongue continues its assault on your leaking cunt. the way he sucks and nibbles on your clit has you seeing stars, and when he takes his other hand to barely poke at your hole, you cry out at the feeling. his thick digit presses in further into your fluttering hole, and you clench down at the initial feeling. having his mouth on you and his finger inside you feels so much better than your own, and even better than the firm silicone you’ve become accustomed to. he keeps his finger thrusting in and out at a steady pace before adding another. he increases his tongue’s pressure on your clit, large hand flexing as he uses his strength to keep your hips down. 

“taste so sweet, baby, wanna taste more.”

and with his delicate words whispered against your core, you come undone with one last suck on your clit and his fingers curling inside you. you throw your head back as he continues licking up all the mess you made from your orgasm, savouring the taste of you on his tongue. 

he sits on his knees before you, and you sit up on your elbows to watch him remove his top, putting his bare body on display for you. his strength was easily detectable even under his clothes, but now that he’s taken them off, you don’t think you can ever unsee him in this state.

he throws his shirt off, and his broad chest is rapidly rising and falling with his heavy breathing. a thin sheen of sweat glistens over his body, small droplets getting caught in the ridges of his muscles and expanding with his breathing. you follow a droplet down to his v-line, where the rest of him, the part you really want of him, stays barely hidden under his pants. you mindlessly go to reach for his bulge, already so prevalent, and you just know it’s bigger than any toy you’ve taken. your hand lands on his throbbing erection, and you feel it jump at your touch. san lets out a sigh or relief as his hips subconsciously buck harder into your palm. you go to undo his pants, anxious to see the rest of him. after hastily getting them off him, you see head on his cock slap up against his abs. it’s leaking precum, and its head is red with need. while he isn’t the girthiest, he is long. you sit up to trace your tongue along the veins that travel his shaft, ending up circling his tip with your tongue before you dive in to get a taste of his salty precum pooling at his slit. you wanted nothing more than to at least try to take all of him, but san has other ideas. 

“you’ve done enough for me, pretty, lay back.” 

you pout, still wanting to taste more of him as you push your head further down his cock. he hisses before pulling you back by the hair and shoving you down on the bed. 

“next time, but i need to feel you right now, baby.” he whispers into your ear. he’s on his elbow above you, your legs naturally split open to welcome his hips closer to yours. you feel as he prods his tip at your entrance, then he takes his fingers in a v motion to open you up prettily to him. he rubs the shaft of his hard-on between your folds, lubricating himself with your dripping arousal. you whine and reach a hand down, moving him back down to your waiting hole. he sits back up, understanding your silent pleas as he slowly starts to dive into you, inch by agonising inch. you flutter around him, not being used to being stretched out like this, and you witness as he throws his head back with a moan of his own. 

“fuck, no wonder you never showed this pretty little pussy of yours. so-so perfect.” san draws out, shallowly thrusting until he gets the okay from you. 

he looks back down to where you two are connected, and he swears he has never seen something as beautiful as his cock in you, how when he draws out a ring of arousal pushes up near his base. he puckers his lips as he lets a fat string of saliva fall from his lips, right onto your clit, falling as he pushes back in. you can only moan and claw at his muscular biceps, nodding your head fervently so he can start fucking you how you want, how you need him to.

“mm-mm princess. use your words like you do on cam, baby.”

and once san hears your small

“please”

there’s no more hope for him.

he grips your hips, thumbs pressing bruises into your pelvic bone as he wastes no time quickening his pace. his body is back on top of yours, and you feel the added stretch of your legs bending to accommodate him. the mixture of his precum, your arousal, and his spit, mixes together to make the loudest and nastiest noises you have ever heard, but you love it.

there is just something so carnal about the way he’s having you right now, thighs pressed against your chest and ankles around his neck. at this angle, you feel him even deeper, however that was possible. now, his hands move to cup your thighs, pushing them further into your torso like he was trying to break you. you feel the way his abs brush your skin every time he breathes, and his lips go to litter your face and neck with kisses and love bites. you feel pressure from everywhere, his large body barely hovering over you, hip lips burning their mark on your skin, his large hands pressing you deep into the mattress, and the way his cock fills up your poor cunt, who was trying its best to stretch for him. the way you feel the full extent of his force from both inside and outside of your body makes you feel like exploding, which is about to happen if he keeps it up like this.

all of the sudden, you feel a push at your calves, and find yourself being turned on your side, one leg straight and the other thrown at an angle to the side. most of your face is dug into the pillow as san keeps the same pace, thrusting into you over and over and over again. your body is contorted and twisted as you lay on your side, unfortunate for your hip that was supporting most of the damage. you throw an arm up to grip san’s forearm, digging your nails into his skin from pleasure. the new position has his hips slapping against your rear, and the echoes it makes causes san to lose all sense of reality. 

“fuck, you’re so perfect.” he groans as he takes a hand and squeezes your ass, then gives it a hard slap, causing you to yelp at the sensation. then, you feel both of his hands at your hips, manhandling you, once again, so you’re on all fours, all the while he’s keeping up his brutal pace. you however, cannot keep up, as you quickly end up with your face yet again buried into a pillow. san reaches down to take both of your wrists into one of his hands, pulling you up against him. he snakes down his other hand down to your clit while he peppers your face with his wet hot kisses and licks. you feel as he starts pinching and rubbing firm circles on your slit, and your body shudders at all of what he’s doing to you. 

“cum, please, let me cum.” you cry out, starting to buck your hips back to get you closer to the edge. 

he releases your wrists in favour of taking one of your hands to press down on your stomach. you can both feel the way his cock is rutting deep inside you, and your second release is oh so close once you reel in the feeling.

“go ahead, cum for me baby, want you to when you feel me cum inside you right… here.” he emphases his words as he forces your hand firmer on your stomach. you feel his thrusts starting to get more erratic, and you come undone just as you feel him sputtering deep inside you. 

he slows down, riding out both of your orgasms as you fall face first into the soft bedding below you. san releases your hips so your body lays flat on the bed, his seed starting to seep out of you. you turn on your side as you feel him nudge you to turn around. once you do, you find him fixated on your leaking cunt, threatening to spill on the (fortunately placed) towel under you. he takes his two fingers and pushes his cum back inside you, thumb already going to your clit as you thrash at the overstimulation. you start muttering out a desperate please please please, even though you weren’t quite sure what you were begging for. nevertheless, your third orgasm of the night comes quickly, as you gush all over his hand still pushing his cum back inside you. 

finally, san lays next to you on his side, caressing your body softly and whispering in your ear. 

“you did so well for me, sweet girl. let’s get you cleaned up.” 

you can only nod as he brings you to your bathroom, which he now knows is attached to your bedroom. he leans your back against his chest as he washes the both of you up. you turn around to help clean him off as well, a silent intimacy shared between you two in the steamy warmth of the glass shower. he dries you off, with a clean towel, before laying you back on the bed. he goes to your kitchen to grab some water for you both, encouraging you to drink a bit before cuddling up in his arms. 

he is the first to break the comfortable silence between you as he pulls the comforter over your naked bodies. 

“you know, i meant when i said that wasn’t what i came over for.” he smiles, looking down at you nuzzled into his chest. 

“i know, but i think we still needed to get it out of our system.” you laugh at him, considering the whole situation you have found yourselves in. 

“i’m just happy you trusted me, i promise i won’t ever break that.” he softly cradles your face in his hand, giving you a more loving kiss. a kiss that seals his promise, the promise that he cares about you as a person, not just your current profession. a promise that what is between you two is deeper than just his initial love for your body, but a love for you.

this was not supposed to be this long... but i think i am incapable of writing shorter things so... hope u enjoyed :D

[bioswear]

Anyway I got a green screen stand and curtain so I can do cosplay nerd stuff 😂

[thelampisaflashlight]

Shutterbug: Point and Shoot

[Dew and Aeon go to the lake to take pictures of the sunrise. Angst comes and goes in a blink. Baphomet persists.] Below the cut.

"Why do we have to get up so early for this?" Aeon whines, dragging his feet through the tall grass, slumped forward dramatically with an almost comical pout on his face as he follows Dew towards the lake.

"If you want to photograph the sunrise, you need to get up before the sun rises." the older man says, unbothered by the younger's antics, "Simple as that."

Aeon gives a little huff before a yawn slips from his lips, causing Dew to yawn as well, "It's so early though... There's a whole hour before the sun rises, and it only takes ten minutes to walk here from the dorms!"

Dew rolls his eyes and sets down the large backpack slung over his shoulder, gesturing for Aeon to do the same.

"If I let you sleep in any longer, you wouldn't be awake enough to help me set up, let alone take the pictures. You said you wanted to learn how to use an actual camera, and here we are."

The quintessence ghoul hums, "Here we are..."

With a sigh, Aeon casts his gaze over the lake, still lit by the stars that are only now starting to fade from view.

The ground is cool under his feet, and the toes of his sneakers are lightly soaked by the morning dew.

He inhales slow and deep and feels himself slowly beginning to wake.

"At least it's nice out here..." he says, turning towards Dew, who is rummaging through his bag, taking out a tripod and another, compact bag from within that looks worn in a well loved kind of way, "So... I never got to ask, since the others recommended that I go to you to learn about this stuff, but, uh, how long have you been into photography?"

"Aw, geez, it's been a long time..." Dew picks up a flat rock from the dirt, sliding it under one of the legs of the tripod, making it more level, "Couple decades now, I guess?"

"A couple... A couple what?? A couple decades??" Aeon balks, "But you've only been on the surface since..."

He counts on his fingers, but gets stuck.

"H-How is that even possible??"

Dew stands up, bracing against his knees as he does so, "Huh, guess that story slipped through the cracks... I mean, yeah, I..."

He places a hand on his chest.

"I don't mean me." he says, "I mean this guy."

He sweeps his hand up to his face and then downwards.

"My vessel."

Aeon blinks.

"Your vessel...?"

"Ough... they really don't tell you new summons anything..." Dew stretches and then grabs one of the folding chairs he made Aeon carry with them, "Pop a squat, Sparkles, we have some time to kill anyway."

Aeon tilts his head sideways, but does as he's told. Once he's settled, Dew sits down, looking out over the horizon.

"It's all kind of complicated, but the long and short of it is; My body, this face you're looking at, this isn't a glamour. It's not an approximation of what I would look like if I were human... it is human."

"I... Okay." Aeon looks at Dew sideways, "So... You're human then?"

"Was." Dew says, stretching his legs out, "I was, but I also wasn't. Sometimes... Sometimes, when the church needs a ghoul... No, that's... Let's just go with that, yeah?"

Aeon nods.

"The best way I can put it, is that this body belonged to someone else, and then another person -a demon- laid claim to it, but instead of forcing the other soul out... they kind of, I dunno, melded together?" Dew emphasizes his point by making a squishing motion with his hands, "So I'm, like, some kind of weird soul baby of those two people."

"Hehe... Soul baby..."

"Shut up, I said it was complicated."

"Sorry."

"...You are forgiven, for now." Dew snorts, "Anyway."

Dew taps the side of his head.

"Basically means I have memories from two different lives mushed together in the old brain box, and to get to the point already, the first guy was a photographer."

"Ohhh... So you retained all of his memories of how to do this then?" Aeon asks, looking at the bags again, "That's pretty-"

Aeon pauses, brow furrowing.

"...What happened?"

Dew raises a brow, turning his head towards him, "Mn?"

"What happened to the photographer guy? Like, if you're..." he bites the inside of his cheek, "Am I not supposed to ask-"

"I never said you couldn't, and do I look bothered?" Dew questions, his posture too casual, too relaxed for him to be annoyed, "Do you really wanna know?"

Another pause.

"...Yes, please."

Dew closes his eyes for a moment and sits up slightly.

"Here, I'll show you how to set up the camera first so we don't forget why we're out here..."

And they do.

Dew makes Aeon do most of the set-up and adjustments to the equipment himself, "So you can get a feel for it."

When all is said and done, Dew lets him tweak camera's settings a bit more before motioning for him to sit back down.

"I've been into photography since I was a kid, couldn't tell you how old I was when I first held a camera, but I do know what my first clear picture was of." he says, leaning back in his chair, "We had this little terrier, Wilma, when I was little, and the thing couldn't sit still for the life of her, but I somehow managed to get her to stay put for a photo... Probably bribed her with an entire bag of biscuits, but I was really proud of how it came out."

"I don't really remember many of my early, early memories, especially not the ones from this guy, but I remember that." he utters softly, a hint of warmth blossoming on his cheeks and the tips of his ears, subtle embarrassment, "Being proud..."

"I can also remember being fucking miserable."

A cool breeze rolls across the grass, and Aeon uses it to hide the shiver that runs up his spine at Dew's words.

"...Before I go any further, do you still want to hear about this?"

Aeon swallows, then thinks.

"Do you really want to talk about it?" he counters, and Dew gives a little puff through his nose, "Really, though."

He shrugs.

"It was a long time ago, Sparkles."

"Doesn't mean it can't still hurt." Aeon whispers a bit too knowingly for Dew's liking, if the little noise in the back of his throat is any indication of that.

"...I died." he says after a moment of silence, "I died, Aeon."

"You... You died?"

"I don't know the full details, and I don't want to know, but yeah." he nods, "Yeah."

Aeon watches the cattails wave in the wind, processing what his packmate just said.

"I guess I got lost out in the woods nearby, and some siblings found me and brought my body back here." Dew continues, "There's a lot of... little details that flicker around in my head from time to time, fragments of memories, or maybe dreams I'm misremembering, but I mostly just remember, ya know, stuff like this."

He points at the camera.

"I didn't forget how to do things like read or write, and I knew things I liked and didn't like, but I forgot most of what made me this guy."

"Did he have a name?" Aeon asks, taking in Dew's features anew, from the sharpness of his nose, to the gentleness of his brow.

"Probably." Dew laughs, "Actually, yes, but that's also something I've decided I don't want to know. The files are all there, if I decide to deep dive into my past, but I already promised myself I wouldn't do that."

"...But you died."

"You're wondering how I'm here now, right?"

Aeon nods.

"Well, there was this goat-"

.

.

.

"Well, hello, Moonlight, how'd your little photography lesson with Dew go?" Swiss asks, legs kicked up over the armrest the couch in the common room as he half watches the morning news, eyeing a harrowed looking Aeon.

The ghoul stares blankly at the wall for a solid minute before he replies.

"...Have you hear the Bapho-tits story before or is Dew full-on fucking with me?"

Swiss almost pulls a muscle from the involuntary sit-up he does from wheezing too hard.

[wednesdaynn]

for everyone to see

a/n: i haven't written for women (properly) in so long, neither on tumblr so i hope i do this a bit justice, this fandom is lacking sm on the women department in general, but god, there are no fics on here. so here i am, spoiling myself a bit with my own fantasy! also this was supposed to be more porn than plot tbh but i needed a good intro... so do with that what you will.

also happy KINKTOBER, even though i won't be participating i cant wait to read all these smutty things after watching too many horror movies.

summary: marlene invites you, her girlfriend, on her stream for the first time and her fans couldn't be more fond over misty marls' sweet girl

warning: sex (duh) oral (i guess fem receiving doesn't work in this context) visual pornography.

pairing: camgirl!marlene mckinnon x fem!reader

word count: 2412

you see her walk towards the camera tripod snapping the camera into the cage and attaching it. She checks the screen to make sure both of your body's are in perfect view and the light is correct, smiling in satisfaction when everything works out.

you lean back on your hands, rolling your shoulders back and taking a deep breath. The nerves are getting worse with the minute and you can't seem to snuff them out. you hope marlene doesn't notice your hesitance because you know she'd call this stream off immediately if she knew you were even slightly tense about this situation. and it's not that you don't want to do this with her, it's just, this is all new to you, and it's making you nervous. you've been planning this for weeks, and have been excited for weeks. The thought of it alone made butterflies go around in your belly.

Marlene turns on the camera and walks back over to you, settling next to you. She grabs her laptop and makes sure the camera is connected to the bluetooth. going to the streaming platform and clicking on the live+ button, checking the camera one last time, turning towards you to make sure you're alright to start. but when she turns, instead of meeting your excited eyes, she is met with hesitance. she frowns and turns her full body towards you, grabbing your hands and rubbing her thumb over your knuckles.

"talk to me, what's going through your head?" she asks and you shrug. you feel embarrassed to tell her what you're thinking. you look up to meet her eyes and squeeze her hand affectionately.

" ’ave got some nerves, good nerves I think." you give her a small smile as to reassure her she casts another glance over your face to make sure you're not lying just to please her, but finds no tell-tale sign of a lie. she leans over and kisses your lips.

"so, am I good to start?" you nod and she gets up from her spot and turns on the stream, looking at the screen and seeing both of your body's on the big screen and the flashing red light in the corner. you slowly start to see her subscribers flood in and the comments all talking about how excited they are about the new stream.

Marlene turns back to you and shoots you a wink before sliding behind you and maneuvering your body to face the camera. she puts her hands on your waist and slowly massages the skin there, her lips on your neck, kissing and softly nipping at your skin. you roll your shoulders back and lean into her. there's a soft ping from the laptop and you see the first tip come in, you smile softly, it calms your nerves slightly.

her hands make their way downwards towards the hem of your shirt and slowly lift up the hem and tug it off of you. revealing the lacy bra that barely covers anything. She places her hands on your shoulders, kneading out the little knots and glides them over your clavicle bones and hooks her fingers underneath your bra strap, trying to make all her actions seem as sensual as possible to her viewers.

And it's working, her comments flood with people leaving messages about how sweet you look, and how much they wish they could be Marlene right now. it gives you a certain confidence boost. you lean back into marlene, and she lets out a soft giggle. you know she does this mostly for show, but it's working for you as well.

She lets go of your bra strap and reaches between you two to get to the clasp on your back, unhooking it and brushing the straps off of your shoulders, revealing your breasts to the camera. The cold breeze makes your nipples harden.

she shuffles around and moves in front of you, sitting up on her knees. she leans over and kisses you, at first it was very soft and sweet. open mouth kisses with little pecks in between when you both need to get some air. but it turns more heated once she puts her hands on your boobs and starts kneading them between her hands, your nipples catching between her fingers where she occasionally pinches them.

you let out a breathy moan, which she swallows with her own mouth. licking your lips and sliding her tongue between. your kiss turns filthy very fast, all tongue and spit, teeth clashing and it's slightly uncomfortable but you imagine it'll put on one hell of a show.

her lips make their way downwards, resuming her past administrations by nipping at your jaw and downwards, leaving behind tiny little marks, which the camera just barely picks up. you lean your head back and let out little sighs.

she pushes your shoulders, your back hitting the mattress and her lips re-attach themselves to your skin, this time on your breasts. sucking tiny bruises on them and sucking softly on your left nipple. her teeth scrape slightly before she bites on them, making you hiss out in pain. she soothes it quickly by licking your sore nipple. she makes her way over to your right breast giving it the same treatment, leaving you breathless.

her hands find the button on your trousers and make quick work of unbuttoning them and pulling the zipper down. she reaches for the hem and you lips your hips so she can take them and your panties off in one move. she kisses the marks left by your trousers on your legs as she makes her way back up your body again. leaving a little trail of kisses up your inner thigh and bites into your skin, right where your thigh meets your mound.

blowing cold air right above where you want her the most. you lean up and rest on your elbows, looking down at what marlene is doing. she meets your gaze and you flush slightly. you look over at the laptop and see a couple thousand tips already in the inbox.

"That's all for you, baby. they're excited to see you." Marlene says. you humn and bring your hand to her head, letting yourself fall back on to her mattress, threading your fingers through her hair and giving a soft push to get her to where you need her. she huffs, acting as if she's annoyed by the gesture, but you can see the smirk adorning her face.

she licks a stripe from your hole up to your clit where she licks around it, teasing you until she wraps her lips around the bud and sucks on it. you let out a gasp followed by a low moan. her thumbs spread your lips apart. revealing more of you to her. she moves her face to the side, leaning it against your inner thigh, her tongue circling your hole. The camera can now see everything, your glistening cunt, her lips and chin wet with your slick and the way your stomach goes up and down in fast movements.

marlene's tongue pushes into you and and you keen, your hips rut up and your hand pushes her head even further. your other hand glides up your stomach and makes a line from your belly button to the valley between your breasts. you palm your boob in your hand and give a slight pinch to your nipple, heightening the feeling in your stomach.

Marlene is good at giving head. she prides herself on it, she uses it as a form of foreplay, just to tease before actually doing what she wants. but right now, she intends to make you cum, a lot. so her right hand collects your slick on her fingers and she pushes her ring finger into you, her tongue going back to torture your clit. she quickly adds another, when she notices your breaths getting heavier and moans becoming more sporadic. she pumps her fingers in and out of you and curls them in just the right way, making you arch your back and retreat your hand from her head.

you grab onto the bed sheets next you, knowing it won't be long until your impending orgasm hits you. she sucks, and licks and nips on your clit. her face fully covered in you. The sounds coming from her mouth are downright filthy. and the continued pumping of her fingers in and out of your hole doesn't make it any less dirty.

and when she curls her finger just right and sucks hard on your clit, you're a goner. your orgasm comes in hard and your mouth falls open with a silent moan. your legs start shaking and your hips buck into marlene's face who is letting you ride out your orgasm.

she comes back up and leans over you. she kisses you and your hands pull on the hem of her shirt and marlene gets up in a sitting position beckoning you to do the same. you lean on your knees, following her movements and putting your hands to good use by hooking your arms around her waist and pulling down the zipper at the back of her skirt. Marlene pulls off her own shirt and unhooks her bra, throwing both of them somewhere on the floor next to the bed. 

she grabs your face in her hands and starts kissing you again. from this side the camera can pick up on everything that is happening where it faces both of your almost naked bodies. you quickly push her skirt  and panties down and she tries her best to get them off without falling. when she sits back down with her legs spread wide open you assume she wants you to go down on her. but instead she makes a come hither motion with her finger and you lean over where she whispers in your ear. 

you nod your head and bite your lip, lean back in the same way as her. legs slightly bent and spread wide. she shuffles closer and watches the screen to make sure you’re both in perfect view of what’s about to happen. her legs intertwined with yours, her left leg pushes underneath your right one, her other leg hooks over your left leg.she moves towards you and shifts her hips, both of your cunts barely touch each other and it sends a shock up your spine when it rubs touches your clit. 

she lowers both of your legs that are in front of the camera making sure that the camera records your bare pussy’s. she makes an experimental grind against you, and you let out a small gasp. she shifts her hips just slightly, making sure your clit’s are rubbing together. hitting the right angle she starts out slowly. grinding on you slowly getting a feel for it and building up your pleasure. She knows you stay sensitive after an orgasm for a while, and normally she wouldn’t mind making your legs shake from oversensitivity, but this is the first time on camera for you and she doesn’t want to make it too overwhelming. 

 she throws her head back for show and leans back on her hands, making it easier for her to grind upon you. she speeds up and starts chasing after her own orgasm. but the angle isn’t right, it’s too slippery and you have barely any control. you can both feel it and marlene’s eyes move up your body and lock them in with yours. She moves her legs slightly, but to no avail. it makes no difference on the way it feels. you can barely reach the point of having an orgasm, and that’s with the sensitivity that you still have from your first, you can’t imagine how unsatisfying it must feel for her. 

the initial pleasure you got from this position has worn itself out. your hands push themselves upwards and and move forward the little amount you still can and sit up straighter making you practically ride her pussy. she lets out a loud gasp, surprised by your actions and leans back onto her elbows unabashedly checking you out. you graze your hand up her leg and grab onto her waist, giving you more hold to move faster and more deliberate. marlene reaches one of her hands, practicing a balancing act on her other elbow. her fingers put your hair behind your shoulder, getting it out of your face and you roll your head backwards. 

you speed up your hips, getting closer to your orgasm. “Get it baby, get what you need.” she lets out a soft laugh at seeing you get so desperate. her eyes wander to the laptop perched next to the bed, checking if the camera is still picking up the right angles and people are still putting in tips, and good lord… you make her so proud. It's been flooded with excited comments from viewers and the tips are going crazy. 

“Are you close too? marls… wanna cum with you.” your whine and your hands slips from her waist and to the bed next to her, your other hand mimicking. you lean over her and start kissing her. you can feel her nod her head and push your hair out of your face again letting everyone see your faces connecting. The kiss is more panting and moaning into each other's mouths, but it doesn’t matter to the both of you. it’s getting you closer and just being near her is enough for you. marlene starts letting out heavier moans, disconnecting from your lips and leans her forehead against yours. 

she shuts her eyes and releases a few heavy breaths before letting her head drop back and let out a silent scream, her orgasm hitting with force. You ride her until she’s too sensitive and slowly move off of her, accidentally bumping her clit and she shakes slightly, letting out a giggle. you’re both huffing and puffing from exhaustion. 

"You didn’t cum?” marlene says, pout on her face, but you shake your head. exhausted with a pleased look on your face. “It's alright, I would've continued if I needed to.” you wink at her and she leans over and kisses you softly, small laughs coming from you both. She bites her lip and looks over at the camera. she crawls over to turn it off and you throw in a little smile before the stream shuts off.

[violivs]

NMTDaily: Football Antics Part Two

- Aww I forgot about Ursula’s friendship with Dogberry and Verges. They’re so cute. Stealing the muffins.

- I just really love how Ursula bonds with people by helping with their video blogs. And she bonds with Hero over baking. Ursula makes things and helps other people make things and that makes her happy. I love that. She’s a sweetheart.

- All this is another example of how judgmental Beatrice can be, saying the year nines are weird and Ursula shouldn’t hang out with them. She says what she’s feeling and doesn’t think first.

- Pedro! The Prince of Messina! I love the Summer Lovin moment, he really always was a theater kid. It’s very cute. It is, of course, also foreshadowing.

- Pedro immediately brings up Ben. Is he testing Bea’s reaction to see if she seems interested in Ben, similar to the way Ben is about to be all “is Pedro your boyfriend?” I see you, Pedro.

- “How’s Benedick? Still pirouetting through life?” One of my favorite little lines there, lol. It’s just life, so keep dancing through! (Speaking of being a theater kid, lol)

- “He changes friends as often as he changes shirts” is not supposed to make me so sad! Ben always being too scared to show his real self, hiding behind being the loudest and the funny one, hopping from friend to friend and never building too deep a connection with anyone because he doesn’t believe it will last. Because when it does get deep, he gets scared and pulls away. And to an outside view it just looks like he’s fickle and doesn’t care. Just so much meaning there. AND he fails to notice that he’s been Pedro’s friend for like five years now, so some of his friendships do last! Having an “I can’t keep a friendship” complex AND at least one years-long friendship you take for granted at the same time is a massive social anxiety mood. I did not develop that headcanon for him until the promo photos for Lolilo came out, but there was still evidence in NMTD!

- And Bea audibly groaning and being annoyed that Ben’s new best friend is Claudio, because she wants Hero to be happy but she does not want Ben hanging around them more.

- “You did the thing! You’ve gotta be ready for anything Claudio!” Ugh I cringe every time lol but also Ben is adorable at the same time?

- Sometimes you really need the subtitles, because I have never noticed Bea and Pedro’s little exchange there before! B: “Honestly that’s so typical.” P: “They’re always getting on top of each other.” That’s one for the Ben/Claudio crush truthers for sure, lol

- cringeeeee ugh Ben why do you sound like you’re about to hit on Hero I’m uncomfortable. Hilarious that he’s apparently forgotten who Hero is though, given that he definitely remembers Beatrice.

- He apparently also has never heard of YouTube before this moment. And we’re off to the “everything you say is SO wrong and annoying, I HAVE to correct you” races!

- Pedro with the self-preservation instinct just immediately making a run for it. He has been here in between these two arguing before and he did not like it.

- I was wondering why Bea didn’t make an excuse to avoid Ben by going off with Pedro just then, but I realized it’s because of the camera and tripod! She couldn’t leave without her stuff. Trapped by the vlog! Lol

- Ben’s immediate emotional response on seeing Bea again just being “I’m extremely threatened by the idea that you might have a boyfriend, please tell me you don’t.” like. Buddy. Pal. Who were you ever fooling? Incredible.

- And speaking of cringe. We are getting the establishment of Benedick seeming to be just another one of the misogynist guys, because every time he talks about women I cringe so hard I can’t look at the screen. I hope Beatrice makes fun of him for “I could explode your universe” literally all the time after they start dating.

- She is so not having it, and her disinterest just makes him go even harder trying to get under her skin. I love these annoying teenagers SO. MUCH. *cracks up laughing*

- Poor Ursula, not as quick as Pedro to avoid being stuck in the middle. Lol

- But the thing is, Bea just took the wind right out of Ben’s sails because “you’ve never scored anything off the football pitch” is TRUE. He talks big, but he’s actually not very experienced at all. That’s how I interpret the flustered “you’d be surprised about what I know”, anyway. And it’s a smart adaptation for a teenage version of Mr “Ladies Love Me But I Love None” from the play, if so.

- Bea sees right through him. He can’t hide behind bravado with her, she already knows it’s bullshit. And that’s why realizing he loves her is going to be so scary for him.

- And he storms off, leaving Beatrice pleased as punch because she wins by default. If she pushes his buttons long enough, he gives up. “You always end on a jade’s trick” indeed. And she ends smiling, because she likes sparring with him (and winning). The day wouldn’t be complete for her without it.

- Someone in the comments points out that Ben forgot to pick up his football uniform shirt that he dropped, and I don’t know what’s funnier, him waiting for her to leave and slinking back to grab it, or her taking it home and then tossing it on his desk the next day at school with another insult about how gross it is, setting off another argument (while all their classmates roll their eyes).

- And then there’s the fact that Beatrice, who just hates Ben so much, can’t stop herself from replying to a comment about him in the comment section with a complaining link to his new YouTube channel! They are obsessed with each other! It is wild. (Also a very in-character way for TCW to use Bea to make sure that the audience knows to follow Ben’s channel for his part of the story.)

- All I can think of is that tumblr post about looking at your enemies to lovers ship in their “I hate your stupid face” phase and cackling like “ohhhh just you wait, you are gonna LOVE that stupid face!” They’re gonna love each other SO much, and they’re gonna be SO mad about it! It just makes me so happy!!! 🥰

💖🥭🦩

[goldenlaurelleaveswrites]

I've Got These Friends...

5. Winter's Coldness

I've Got These Friends... (AO3)

Aimée - age 17 Nadine - Age 17 Luka - age 17 Darrel - Age 17

_________________________________________

“Aimée,” Nadine complained, her voice tight despite holding the serene but haughty expression she had asked her to, “hurry up. I’m freezing.” 

She offered Nadine a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I just need to double-check the exposure and shutter speed and then we should be all ready. You doing ok, Luka?” she asked, glancing to the left, where Luka was standing just out of the shot, holding a thermos of hot water at the ready. 

“I-”

“Don’t. You. Dare. Complain, Luka,” Nadine hissed. 

“I’m fine,” Luka continued nodding solemnly as he also shot Nadine an apologetic look. Unlike Nadine, he was bundled up in a winter coat, a hat, and gloves to protect him from the cold, as was she. Nadine on the other hand, was in in her white romantic tutu and the silver organza and tulle Snow Queen cape Nadine had sweet-talked M. Gauthier into letting them borrow. 

“And I’m ready,” she chirped from where she had leaned back down over her tripod.  

“Finally.” 

“Ok, get into position… a touch to the left… ok there,” she said as Nadine shuffled into the first rays of the morning light. “And remember, haughty but serene. This is your kingdom. You’re the Queen. Now on the count of three, are you both ready?” 

“I am.”

“Same.” 

“Ok, one…” she squinted trough the viewfinder of her camera. “Two… three!” 

Nadine rose up onto point and into an arabesque as Luka threw the water from the thermos. The hot water turned to a cloud of snow-like vapour as soon as it hit the cold air. The shutter of her camera clicked. 

Standing up, she unhooked the camera from the tripod to take a look. “It’s perfect you guys!” she squealed as she looked at the shot. The sky behind Nadine was the soft pinks, blues, and golds of the winter sunrise, and the scene looked positively magical with the snow and cloud of vapour around Nadine catching hints of the golden light. 

“Does that mean I can put my coat on now?” 

“Of course. Until we get to the next place in the park I want to take some shots. Now come on! We won’t have this light for long!” she said as she released the lever on her tripod to collapse the legs and picked it up. 

Their little troupe marched through the park, from the pond over to the bridge, where she got another incredible shot, this time of Nadine on the bridge, her cape flowing out behind her courtesy of Luka holding it up by the ends and then running out of shot at the last possible second. From there, they continued throughout the park, stopping at all of the locations she had picked out weeks ago. Plus a few extra she had decided were just perfect along the way because how could she turn down the perfect shot? 

So far, her favourite was the one she had gotten of Nadine doing what was apparently called a tour jeté. Luka had been able to use the last thermos of boiling water to make another cloud behind Nadine in that picture, and it was just everything. 

And now… 

“This is the last one. I promise.” 

“You said that back at that big oak tree…” Nadine grumbled as she shedded her coat and the boots she had worn over her point shoes as they trekked around the park.

‘That was before I saw this view,” she said, gesturing to the completely deserted, tree-lined pathway. “Sometimes we have to suffer for our art.” 

“I don’t see you doing a whole lot of suffering for your art,” Nadine complained as she scurried across the snow to the point on the pathway she had directed her to.

“If she does turn to murder, how willing are you offer me sanctuary on the Liberty?” she asked as Luka stopped beside her and took her tripod bag from her. 

“You think that’s going to stop her?” he asked with a chuckle. 

“It won’t!” Nadine called from where she was waiting. 

“I love you, you’re the best! And I owe you a hot chocolate!” 

"Hot chocolates, plural," Nadine grumbled as she picked her way through the snow."

"Add them to my tab," she called back before looking down at her watch. “You heard from Darrel?” she asked as she began fiddling with her camera settings. “He said he would be here in time to drive us all back to Nadine’s place.” 

“He texted me a couple of minutes ago, he was just parking-” 

“Hey everyone,” she turned as she lowered her camera. Darrel was hurrying towards them, balancing a cardboard tray with four to go cups in his mittened hands. Patches was circled around his shoulders and neck, thoroughly tucked into his hood. And wearing one of the many coats Darrel had gotten for her because he was Darrel. “Sorry we’re late! But we brought hot chocolate- hey, aren’t you cold, Nadine?”

[samarawalkermedia320]

Researching for the next Cooks Beach trip:

Below are my notes from researching what gear I will need and some tips and tricks on how to produce the types of images I want.

Gear list:

Tripod

Camera body

Wide angle lens (14-24mm and low aperture f.28-f/4)

Star app

ND filter kit (borrow from my mum)

Ring light flash

Astrophotography

Best time to shoot astrophotography is a new moon given that there is less light in the night sky, creating the dark skies needs for stars to show up well in images. This works out well for me as the new moon is on the 3rd of October and I will be shooting this on the night of the 4th of October. The coromandel peninsula area seems to be a good spot to stargaze as well. The milky way is typically visible over New Zealand between February and October. The time of year I am shooting requires me to shoot around 10-11pm. Since I am at the send of the viewing season, I am struggle to get a good view. If so, I will have to see if it is possible to focus on constellations that are visible instead.

I have heard this mention of ‘stacking’ images particularly when researching astrophotography. I will need to read further about what this means.

Camera settings: need lens as above which will give great results with right settings. ISO will change depending on the amount of ambient light, I may be able to keep it as low as 1600 but may need to go as high as 5-10000 in a very dark location. There is little light pollution in the area so the latter may be the case. I should use the 500 rule for the shutter speed. Ideal for astrophotography is 15-30 seconds. The longer the shutter is open, the higher the possibility of star trails (although this is an effect that I could use to my advantage). To figure out the best shutter speed, take 500 and divide it by the lens focal length (e.g. 500/16 = 31).

It can be hard for a camera to focus on this, so turn infinity focus off and find the brightest star, centre it in the middle of the screen and manually focus till sharp.  

Long exposure

Find a composition - start by looking for a stable elements to focus the camera on. To maintain some texture in the water, keep the shutter speed between 1/15 and 1 second, but play around when shooting. For example, a 10+ second exposure will create very smooth looking water. It can be helpful to turn on continuous shooting mode on the camera to capture a range of images when you set up the camera, instead of relying on finding the perfect moment manually. I plan on shooting water, but clouds could also be a subject of interest. For this work, use the lowest ISO possible, around ISO 100. Increasing this will introduce noise.

Shutter speed – ‘bulb mode.’ This is a setting on canon camera that allows you to select any shutter speed. The shutter will stay open for as long as the shutter release button is held down. This is the “B” found on the shutter scale in manual mode. This is where a remote shutter may be useful. It may be possible to download the Canon Camera Connect App to achieve this. Some cameras may have time exposure mode which works in the same way as bulb mode but require one press of the shutter release to start the exposure and one press to end it.

I need to make sure the lens I will be borrowing from the loan pool will be able to mount the ND filter attachment. Some sources mention a remote shutter release, this may be helpful but I don’t think I will have access to one (although I know that the EOS-90D from the loan pool has a touch screen shutter).

Neutral density filter – these reduce the amount of light that enters the camera, enabling longer shutter speeds even in bright daylight. These filters do not have any effect on the colour of the images. I had trouble in my first trip because I wasn’t aware that I would need them.

Macro photography

For this I will need the same macro lens I loaned for my first trip. This lens is a 60mm f2.8 canon macro lens. The loan camera does have a built in flash but I found this didn’t produce good lighting given how close I was to the object. Online sources suggest that a ring light flash that attaches to the front of the lens. For this work, manual focus is best.

Stacking

This technique is used when you take multiple images and merge them. One of the reasons this is done is to increase how much of the image is in focus. What impacts depth of field? The focal length of lens – a wide angle lens will have a bigger depth of field. Appeature – the wider the appeature, the more light is in the camera, the smaller the depth and field so less of the image will be in focus, the opposite is true for a narrow appeature. Distance to the subject – the closer you are to the subject you are focussing on, the shallower the depth of field. The purpose of stakcing images works much like how our eyes work. The two eye works together to produce the image we see based on various focal points in what we are looking at. Stacking is done by taking images of the same subject multiple times where the focal plane changes and are merged in post. Overall, you have an image with a bigger depth of field where it may not be possible to capture that same depth of field in a single image of a subject or environment. In the example video I watched on photographing jumping spiders (which are tiny!), the photographer gets in close and uses a rapid burst to get several exposures, moving ever so slightly closer which creates a slifhtly different focal plane each time. These images are then taken into a photo editing software and merged.

Astrophotography stacking – Image stacking in astrophotography is not used to increase depth of field like it is used in landscape and macrophotography, but to reduce noise. This seems like a very technical topic, but essentially, stacking images for this purpose allows you to drop the ISO without actually doing so. Typically photography of this kind (given the amount of ambient light in the scene) the ISO need to be quite high, of course this will introduce noise into the image. If the images are shot in ISO 6400, stacking 4 images will make it look like the ISO has dropped by half, another 8 will half that again, 16, 32, and so on. There is a free software that can the align the stars and freeze the background.

[twoq24]

I’m living in a house that is built on a flat spot on a hillside surrounded by thick forest vegetation. My wife has just come home from working the night shift and goes to the back bedroom for some sleep. I never actually saw who she was. Everything is peaceful and I walk to the back of the house where there is a good view and open the door. As soon as I opened the door a kid rushed in and ran into the house. He’s followed by some women and they’re telling me they have to get away from an abusive partner. I don’t know who they are. I have never seen them before. But I say ok. Then more people start to arrive. I don’t know any of them. I went back to the back of the house and out the door the kid rushed in. I’m walking up the slope behind the house on a trail. It started to rain, and I looked over at the next hill and a small waterfall had formed and the water was falling into the trees and vegetation. I see some men on a slope just off the trail. One of them is digging up a plant, some kind of plant he’s calling a holly fern. He’s got it pulled up by the roots and he’s showing the other men and telling them it is enough to grow and he plans to sell it and get some money. Up slope some other men are coming through the vegetation and they’re just right above it and they dislodge a large blue stone shaped in a half-cylinder. The stone comes loose and rolls down the hill over the man with the plant. I jumped out of the way. I figured the rain and made the ground wet and made the stone easier to dislodge. The other men check out the man that got hit by the stone.  He seems ok even though I watched the stone roll over him. I go back through the house and more people have arrived and all kinds of things are going on. In the back of the house someone is working in the boiler room/kitchen. There’s grinding noises going on and smoke is coming from where someone is working fixing something. I can’t see what it is. I went down a hallway and some guy opened a box. He tells me it “has been sealed.” He tells the name of the person who owned the box. I don’t recognize the name and can’t remember it, but the box is old and hasn’t been opened for a while. Inside the box are some electronic things, I see some radios and there are some camera tripods. We agreed to come back later and have a better look and maybe divide up between us the contents of the box. In fact the house is full of boxes and other stored items I’ve never bothered with. I continue through the house and go out front and some women point to man and tell me that's the abuser. He’s some distance away and is not approaching the house. He’s just walking around making his presence known and felt. I go back into the house and down the hall and some people have made a fire in a strange type of stove. They placed their stove next to a wood stove. A large flame is shooting out their stove, it’s nearly as high as the ceiling. I  check it out to make sure it’s not going to catch the house on fire. The stove burns some sort of oil and they’ve spilled oil and are trying to clean it up. I’m walking through it in my bare feet and my feet are black up to my ankles.

Now I’m talking to some people about the house and telling them they should have seen the place back in 1973. There was a lot more interesting stuff in the house back then, I’m telling them. I’m living here rent free. Then I realized this house is from a dream I had back then. I had totally forgotten about that dream. In that dream the house was full of fantastic stuff in boxes that I would dig through. I had that dream a few times too. I always woke up disappointed that I was not able to bring back some of the things I had found there. What exactly those things were I cannot remember. Also that house was in a different location and much smaller. Now I started to become concerned about all the people running around. I found the woman that came through the back door, and I asked her how long she planned to stay, and she told me for two weeks. I told her that I didn’t think that was possible. I was now thinking I wanted everyone to leave but I didn’t say that to her. Anyway she got the hint and picked up and started to leave the way she came. I followed her to the back door and there was this guy with some books that he wanted to give me, but it seemed like some sort of scam. I looked the books over and they appeared to be some sort of anti-Catholic screed from Europe. Reprinted in a new edition with annotations about how evil the Catholics were and by implication are. I gave the books back and off he went still talking about some sort of group he was trying to recruit me into. I followed them out the back door and then walked around the house. Before I got to the front of the house I could see that everyone was leaving. Then a blue truck came rumbling in by a green dumpster. The house started shaking and I thought the truck had run into the house, but I could see it hadn’t. Then the house started violently shaking and someone yelled “earthquake!”  The ground started to shake violently too and there was a strong wind and I looked across the valley and I could see the forest was on fire all along the horizon. I heard someone praying. Then I looked up at the sky and the sky shattered like glass in a dense web of lightning. The entire sky was alive with lightning. There were no clouds in the sky. I picked up my dog and hugged it and braced myself. It wasn’t an earthquake at all. It was a meteor strike, and the shock wave was approaching.

[peerbear]

Pitch Reflection

Overall, I feel like both pitches went well. Both of my teams were cohesive and we all knew what we were talking about.

For Where Currents Meet, as DOP I spoke about my visual approach to the project.

My primary concern after the safety of the actresses is to stay away from the male gaze in my shots. As a man, even though I am a gay man I think it can easily feel this way for the actresses. I want to ensure that they are comfortable at all times. I want to stay away from sexualised shots and focus on the gentler moments and the beauty of the story between the women rather than their bodies.

The primary references I will be drawing from both in terms of their narrative and cinematic styles are Into the Blue, Portrait of Lady on Fire and Moonlight. Into the Blue is mostly inspiration for action shots in the water. I like the way these shots are composed, especially in terms of framing and how the cinematographer has considered the movement of water coming in and out of shots, I feel like it shows that this has been thought through prior to and during shooting. Lady of a Portrait on Fire for me is a strong inspiration emotionally for the narrative and how the actresses will be shown in the shots. There is a delicacy and a beauty there that I really hope to capture. In terms of content where the two women are at the beach, I feel this melancholy tone reflects an aspect of what we are going for. Moonlight is my primary reference in terms of lighting and colour palette, Bethany, our director, is very keen for a blue colour palette. I also think this reference is ideal because of how the shots are framed and how emotive the shots of Little at the water in the moonlight are. This is also a perfect example of how we could shoot our shots in line with water safety guidelines.

In terms of approach, I’m going for a simple set up, mainly handheld shots and tripod set ups. I hope to also use a Gimble or an Easy Rig if possible. I’m looking to focus on details, like hands, with many close ups and reaction shots. As it stands, I will be shooting on a Blackmagic Ursa and for the water shots a GoPro or similar waterproof camera. I want to use a GoPro, so that I can really enter the water and not worry about the camera getting wet. I want to play with point of view shots and film the actresses in the water. I also want to look at the ocean water as an expression of the character’s feelings. I want to look at the movement, shades and different textures of the ocean water and the colours of the sea sky. I also want to explore the water as a safe space visually.

We are aware that there might be some issues filming in the ocean logistically in terms of health and safety so we have planned back up filming options where we would have the shots framed in such a way that it looks like the actresses are deeper in the water (closer to the water) than they are, we would do this by using a long lens. I’m currently planning to use an 85mm lens. We also had another backup option to film in a pool and cheat the lighting there.

In terms of style, I’m going for a dreamy aesthetic with mostly blue tones. I’m hoping to play with exposure, lighting and focus to achieve relatively soft shots. I know Bethany is very interested in the character’s surroundings reflecting their feelings. So, I will take this into consideration when I am planning the framing of shots to see how the character’s feel in this moment, for example, when Iris feels alone at the beach it will be quite a wide shot to reflect her loneliness, but when she is with Kallie in the same space it will be a up close to show the intimacy and the comfort in the closeness. This is because a big part of the story is about connection, so the shots will reflect how connected Iris feels to her surroundings. Our current locations include a mixture of indoor and outdoor scenes, I want there to be a contrast in how the shots show Iris’ emotions. I want to show Iris as more comfortable outside in nature, in the woods or at the beach, whereas in the city at the bus stop, on the pavement or inside in the bedroom or shop, she is more confined by the space.

As we are shooting a lot at night, lighting will play a major role in the believability of the film. I want to make the lighting look natural when recreating moonlight and I know Bethany has a sunrise/sunset scene with a glass refection in mind, where we will use lights to keep control of this. There might be pressure to do shots that depend on external lighting; however, we will keep these to a minimum, using a three-point lighting set up.

Following on from the pitch we felt confident and happy with what we presented. Overall, it seemed to be well received with a few clarities needed and a few developments suggested. I feel as a group we presented cohesively and gave an in-depth idea of what the film will be and look like. The main outcome for me was that we were recommended to shoot in a pool for our water submersion shots, this would enable us to be in line with health and safety guidelines and offer a safer environment to shoot in as well as the opportunity to shoot creatively in water. This made me very happy as I am very keen for the water aspect of this project and think it really adds to the story, as water is a very emotive and special location to be in and to shoot in.

For Saint Catherines, as the Sound Recordist and Designer, I focused on bringing across how I will create the soundscape for this project.

My key references for the sound of the project are Unbelievable (2019), How to Have Sex (2023) and Smoke Sauna Sisterhood (2023). Unbelievable to me serves as a reference for droning sounds that show the dark unease of a sexual assault victim who is not heard. It is an example of this not only narratively, but also tonally and shows how this can be demonstrated audibly. How to Have Sex explores what consent actually means and uses a gripping soundscape that moves from a relatively airy soundscape in the first half to a more gripping dark soundscape that can even be heard in the base of the music of the clubs where the protagonist goes with her friends. Smoke Sauna Sisterhood serves as a reference for our final loch scene. The film is a breathtaking depiction of all the different issues that women face in society ending with a recollection of a terrible sexual assault, after this the women go into the lake and swim in silence, you can hear the sounds of the lake and the women singing together. This moment of going into the water and the atmosphere around this section reflects what I will try to achieve in my sound design to show the water as a safe space.

I want to use the sounds of the water and the forest as motifs for safety and unsafety. The water of the loch will lap gently, and the general soundscape will show the water as a place of refuge. The woods are where Phoebe gets sexually assaulted so this will be reflected in the sound as an unsafe place, with menacing and creepy drones as the wind howls and the trees crack. Just before Phoebe confronts Harry he throws sticks at a tree, I want to make the stick and tree contact sound hollow and uncanny. As Phoebe accuses Harry of sexually assaulting her, he snaps a twig in two, I will layer this sound to make it sound intimidating and I also want to use it as a tonal shift within this dialogue scene.

Something I really like about this project is that we will not show the sexual assault. Not visually nor audibly. However, in the sound design, I hope to create the space that the sexual assault takes up. I have found trauma like this takes up a physical space in a victim’s mind and seeps into the reality of the world around them. As the title of the film is the name of the place where the sexual assault takes place, I think it fits to explore this space audibly. I want to show how in moments of ‘silence’ Phoebe hears the sounds around her and what she feels in relation to them. This will be especially important when she feels alone and we can see her but hear her friends outside and the nature around her, this separates her and shows her isolation.

A big topic we will be exploring is aftermath, and for me a key part of this is touch. Touch can be so triggering and difficult for someone who has been through a sexual assault. You can feel it in your skin even if it is years ago, it’s something that stays with you forever and can affect you for a long time. In my sound design, I want to show this sensation of touch and make it grate underneath the skin of our audience; I want to create that sensation audibly. I also want to use sound as memory, rather than the classic echoing of what people say I want to do this in breaths or whispers instead.

Most sexual assault cases involve someone you know, so I want the sound around the perpetrator to be familiar and relatively pleasant, to show him as he is seen by others, why he is liked and why people would think that he isn’t ‘bad’. But I want to make it clear that he is wrong, and I do not want to sympathise with him in any way. So, when Phoebe and Harry have their confrontation this space and tone around Harry will shift. The focus will be to sympathise with the main character Phoebe and the betrayal of her friends who do not believe her.

I plan to split the sound design into two main sections. In the first section, the sounds will be ambient, gentle and grounded in reality. In the second section after the sexual assault, I want to focus on isolating Phoebe from the sounds around her. However, in the final scene, I want to bring the soundscape back to a gentler soundscape, but still with dark undertones.

I feel the pitch for Saint Catherines went very well, we were cohesive and strong as a team, and I felt I brought across all the points that I wanted to. Everything that we said mirrored each other and we were a unit. Being up there together and presenting together, listening to each other reminded me why I wanted to be on this project (not that I needed a reminder, but it was a great feeling!) This group is strong and kind and I’m excited for what we will create together!

[spacenutspod]

Don’t miss one of the best meteor displays of 2023, as the Perseids peak this coming weekend. Grab a lawn chair, bring a friend, a red light and lots of bug spray: the August Perseids are active this week going into the weekend. You won’t want to miss ‘em if skies are clear, as 2023 is a banner year for the Perseids, one of the sure-fire performers when it comes to meteor showers. First, the good news: 2023 is an optimal year for the Perseids, primarily because the light-polluting Moon is safely out of the way. In August, the Moon reaches New on the 16th, just 3 days after the expected peak of the Perseids. Looking northeastward at 2AM local, from latitude 35 degrees north. Credit: Stellarium. Peak Times to Watch The Perseid meteors are broadly active from July 17th to August 24th, though the key peak is expected to occur on Sunday, August 13th around 7:00 UT. This favors eastern Europe and central Asia at dawn. Western Europe and North America should see increased activity on the mornings of Saturday the 12th and Sunday the 13th. Keep in mind, if skies are cloudy, it’s still worth watching a morning or two before or after. The orientation and the flight of the Earth in its orbit, versus the incoming meteor stream during the key peak for the 2023 Perseids on August 13th. Credit Guy Ottewell, from his Astronomical Calendar 2023. The Perseids are grain-sized bits of cometary dust laid down by Comet 109P Swift-Tuttle on its 133-year orbit around the Sun. The comet is currently headed towards aphelion and won’t reach perihelion again until 2126. Most years see the shower producing 60 to 100 meteors per hour as seen from dark skies. The radiant in the constellation Perseus the Hero rises low to the northeast for mid-northern latitudes around 2 AM local. Start watching early as you may see a few early arrivals glancing off the Earth’s atmosphere in the evening as well. The Perseids were first identified as a modern annual shower in the mid-19th century, though the observed uptick in August meteor rates goes back much further. Astronomer Edward Herrick noted in his 1839 work submitted to The American Journal of Science and Arts that Christians had (and still refer to) the Perseids as the “Tears of Saint Lawrence,” in reference to the martyrdom of Saint Lawrence (San Lorenzo) in early August 258 AD. In recent years, the Perseids have been steady performers at a rate of 60 to 100 per hour. Though they’ve had their reign as the ‘King of Annual Meteor showers’ challenged a bit in recent years by the December Geminids, the Perseids have the key advantage of occurring in the summer, during camping season. A Perseid meteor from 2019. Credit: Mary McIntyre. Observing the Perseids You’ll want to watch from a site that’s as dark as possible. Rates for meteor showers always pick up after local midnight, as you turn forward into the oncoming meteor stream. Even a small amount of light pollution can significantly impact the number of meteors you’ll see. Any meteor you can trace back to Perseus is a Perseid, though a few random sporadics may make an appearance. Also, watch for the planets Jupiter and Saturn nearby. The ringed world is headed towards opposition later this month. On the morning of the 13th, the 9.5% illuminated crescent Moon rises around 2:00 AM local… perhaps, it’s also worth watching for Perseid impacts on the night side of the Moon as well? Imaging the Perseids is as simple as setting a DSLR camera on a tripod with a lens affording a wide field of view. Simply shoot a series of long-exposures, and see what turns up. Be sure to take some test shots beforehand to get the ISO/f-stop/shutter speed combination just right for the current sky conditions. I like to use a remote intervalometer controller to automate the process. This lets you simply shoot long series of shots, while you lie back and enjoy the show. Our typical mobile meteor observing kit (complete with bug spray). Credit: Dave Dickinson. If you’re looking to do real science, you can report what you see to the International Meteor Observers network. Also, keep an eye (and ear) out for stranger phenomena, including crackling audible meteors, and persistent smoke trails lingering after bolide fireballs. I like to keep a pair of binoculars handy, to examine these wispy vapor tracks across the sky. You can even tune a standard FM radio to an unused station and ‘hear’ radio pings from meteors as they ionize the upper atmosphere. Clouded out, or reside in the wrong hemisphere? You can also catch the 2023 Perseids live online courtesy of astronomer Gianluca Masi and the Virtual Telescope Project. Don’t miss the 2023 Perseids; the next optimal year isn’t until 2026. The post Why 2023 is a Great Year for the Perseid Meteors appeared first on Universe Today.

[el-pollo-gigantes]

The Day of a Busy Diary by Dom Haughton Last Thursday was one of the busier days in my new and not very hectic lifestyle. If there had been a diary, it would have looked something like this - 1pm, lunch with Lucy in Penzance; 3pm (or thereabouts) set up tripod at some yet to be decided lonely coastal location; 6:30 tune into free webinar courtesy of one Mr N Danson, YouTube leviathan of this parish. Lots of things to occupy the afternoon and evening, but all of them fun and none of them destined to cause the rush of panic that five out of every seven days used to bring for most of the year. Receiving an invitation to dine with one of the leading lights from the place where I used to work is about as close as getting the VIP treatment as I ever will to be honest. I’ve watched Lucy rise through the ranks towards the stratosphere over the last eight years in fascination at how a person can have such an enormous capacity for hard work and tireless enthusiasm. Quite how she keeps going year after year with such energy levels is a mystery to me, but then I always did have my eye on the exit door that I’d be running through as soon as the finances allowed. So bearing in mind her admirable work ethic, I felt doubly honoured to take up so much of her time over a three course early Christmas lunch after which I could barely move from my chair. By the time I forced down the last wedge from the generously filled cheeseboard it was clear that I wasn’t going to need any tea that evening. I can’t ever let food go to waste, so leaving things untouched on the plate isn’t in my lexicon – I think it’s something to do with the Irish blood and the potato famine. Lunch over, and Lucy was preparing to deal with half a dozen new and urgent items that had cropped up during the almost two hours we’d spent catching up. I quickly decided that I wasn’t going to be of any further assistance and so I made for the car park, carefully concealing that still novel sense of jubilation that I could simply head for home while everyone else was dealing with the slings and arrows that would take them to five o clock and well beyond. I’d had half an idea to return to nearby Trevaylor Wood, but the combination of the cold north wind and the ever decreasing levels of foliage left on branches quickly snapped me out of what would have certainly been my final dismal attempt to capture autumn. I’d also considered continuing west towards Land’s End, but time would be against me and I’d be racing home through rush hour traffic later if I wanted to watch Nigel’s webinar. And then I remembered this place I used to go to all the time – the place I’ve inexplicably overlooked in recent outings. Perfectly located along the way home, it seemed obvious that I should finally return to Godrevy and the place that never stops giving. Behind me the sun was lighting its way through washed out clouds, softly diffused and promising a memorable sunset beyond the bluff above Carbis Bay. Twenty minutes later, I marched along the familiar duckboards towards the commanding view over the long sands of Gwithian Beach and the west. As I chose my position on the clifftop the inevitable began to happen, the sun finding a thick bank of dark grey cloud to hide behind, taking my plans along with it after one single and poorly composed test shot. Around here such disappointments tend to happen more often than not, and so Plan B would have to be rolled into action, or at least it would once I’d decided exactly what Plan B was. After a brief wander down to the mostly empty beach I ended up here, perched in the shelter of a crag beside one of the benches where we sit and watch the ocean on calmer and warmer days. From my lofty perch I could keep the tripod protected from the wind that was racing across the petrol blue sea towards the land. Despite the conditions, the sea was relatively calm so once more I went for my ND filters to smooth the sea and the sky and eliminate the distractions, and in the fading light I made a series of long exposures. One of the spin off benefits of taking six or seven minutes on each shot is that you can’t possibly end up with 582 of them to sift through like I did during Storm Arwen a couple of days later. It makes things a lot easier when it comes to the shortlisting and editing, and suits a lazy Thursday evening when you’re full of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Later on I sat quietly nursing a mug of spiced ginger and lemon tea watching Nigel talking about all the other things he constantly reminds me are important. I winced a bit when he expressed his current opinion on the Orton effect (even though I’m sure I lifted my version of the process from one of his videos), but apart from that I hoped I was on the right tracks. Now remind me again, subject, composition, timing, light, unicorns………… https://flic.kr/p/2mNuyEz

[aariamediablogalevel]

Coursework Development/Production: Shoot Day- 1 (Part- 4)

After all the actors had changed their costumes I decided to shoot Suhana’s first personality scene (to show that she is pretty and popular). For this scene I required all the actors. I instructed Sakshi to walk into the room looking at her phone in one hand and carrying Starbucks coffee in the other. Annika shot this medium close up shot using the camera on the tripod to give a perfect look for the shot. The camera would slowly pan from left to the right (as the character walks in that direction). The medium close up shot of Suhana (Sakshi) walking into the room shows how beautiful she is which is what I wanted to showcase to the audience without directly saying it. 

Footage of Sakshi walking into the room- 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BPq4eHfTFyX7tqKEu36Fkn61bx8BhZp1/view?usp=share_link

This shot involved all the characters sitting together at the table as Suhana (Sakshi) walks in and sits down at the table. Isha then looks at her and says sarcastically “Hey! Are you finally free to hang out with us?”. This indicates that Suhana is a popular girl in school. I wanted a long distance shot of them as I had to show all the characters reactions. As the director I instructed Ichcha (Isha) to say her dialogue sarcastically and with a confident look on her face, I told Sakshi to roll her eyes at the comment while the rest of the actors (Naysa, Sandesh and Jaden) had to try controlling their laughter or smiles. This shot was the easiest and was taken in one take. 

Footage of the Long distance shot- 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-yMoq54qCpOP2kAZMWvx88xa1Z31XQ2A/view?usp=share_link

The next scene again included all the characters. This was a a conversation scene where all of them are discussing what they will wear for the school Halloween party. At first Annika tried to take the shot by sitting on a chair with wheels as I pushed her slowly forward to have a slow push in shot but the shot looked unstable. I wanted to try this as I believed a normal long shot would make this scene look static and boring. As the director I wanted the engage the audience by having various camera movements. 

Footage of the push in shot- 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oX_5-dXTxJZSyvW3ESXs56NNE1oTB4qi/view?usp=share_link

Annika also tried to take a handheld shot by moving the camera swiftly- she took medium close up shot of the character saying the dialogue and then she would quickly move to the next character who would say their dialogue and so on. However, this made the shot look comedic and it was too fast paced. This scene was supposed to be used for the second trailer (suspenseful and ominous trailer) and thus this camera movement was not working. It was also very confusing for Annika as she would forget whose dialogue was next so we would have to re-take the shot. 

BTS of all the actors for this shot- 

I finally decided to split this scene into two shots. I instructed Annika to take a handheld medium close up shot of Sakshi, Ichcha and Naysa as they say their dialogues first and the second shot would be an over the shoulder shot (Naysa’s shoulder) of Jaden saying his dialogue. This way this scene is not boring and there is some camera movement. 

Footage of the shots for this scene- 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1km8ytOeln_A__f6doPK-kNNwqW-IkqQ4/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1e51WalPlsUfzRixp7lDCcWMoO3h8Obcd/view?usp=share_link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-wRdpT38nHpeokK-P4pDIX_MrRvMJjVQ/view?usp=share_link

The final scene that we shot that day was Varun’s personality scene. We had to shoot that scene as Sandesh (actor who plays the role of Varun) was not available on the second shoot day. We had originally planned to shoot this scene in the school basketball court just before sunset but we could not as it had become dark and the basketball court was being used by some students. I was very anxious and nervous when I found out that we could not use the basketball court and I had to come up with a solution quickly as we were running out of time. After a lot of thinking and discussing I had decided to change the scene. Instead of using the basket ball court or the same classrooms I decided to use the waiting area opposite the elevator on the sixth floor. This way I used a different location instead of the same locations. The scene would take place like this- Suhana would be sitting on the chair looking at her phone and then Sandesh comes into the frame (jogging from the right side) and sits near here. You can see that he is sweaty and holding a basketball in his hand. While sitting down he says “That was a tough match...” and Suahana disinterested and annoyed says “Isn’t that what you said the last time?”. And then we see Varun roll his eyes. This way we see that Varun is an athletic person and we see that he is charming when he talks to her. We also get a slight glimpse of how he really feels about Suhana as he rolls his eyes at her comment. I instructed the actors (Sandesh and Sakshi) how to deliver their lines the way their character would. I also told Sandesh to plash water on his clothing and face to make it look like he was sweating and to also carry a basketball in this scene so that the audience knows what sport he plays. I told Annika to take a medium close up shot using the camera on the tripod. The camera on the tripod was placed on the right side of the room instead of the centre. As the director I wanted to use a different camera angle that would make the scene look unique. This scen ewas being used in the first trailer which is the ‘meet the characters’ trailer- it would be more quirky and different. Thus this unique shot perfectly fit for how I wanted the first trailer to look. Before shooting the final scene we tried a trial run and I noticed that we could not here the dialogues as the camera was a bit faraway. So I used voice recording by hiding a phone in Sakshi’s jacket that she was wearing, this way the audio was clear and distinct. We could then add the audio during editing. 

Footage of Varun’s personality scene-

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1crWsNRBAYoJOtmu-AJbOpvi5yq9e39p9/view?usp=share_link

After that we were finally done with shooting all the scenes as planned for Shoot Day 1. Even though there were some frustrating moments or last minute changes I was very glad that we managed to shoot all the scenes that required Sandesh and that I quickly came up with solutions for any problem that occurred. 

[sirfrogsworth]

I found parking nearby and had a short walk to my destination. With camera and tripod on my shoulder, I started trekking toward the park. I turned a corner and Kiener Plaza exploded into view after being hidden by trees. I could see the courthouse and the Arch and this giant grassy knoll all at once.

I have not been to such a peaceful place in a long time.

There was almost no one there.

And the Arch was just filling the horizon in front of me.

There was a cool fountain creating this relaxing white noise and I sat on a ledge next to it.

After the anxiety of trying to do a sidewalk photoshoot with random people walking by, being the only one in this park felt like that anxiety was just melting away—leaving only calm. 

After a few minutes of peaceful meditation, I looked up at the Arch and decided to figure out how I was going to take my photo.

And I noticed something odd. 

The lights were off. 

The Arch has lights!

I know I have seen the Arch with lights!

Getty Images can back me up on this.

SEE!!!??? LIGHTS!

I'm not crazy!

I didn't figure it out until later, but apparently during September they turn off the lights to accommodate migrating birds. I guess the damn things get confused by elevated bright lights. It throws off their navigation and they end up crashing into buildings. 

Don't these birds know I am trying to take a photo?

This was very inconvenient for me, birds. 

So, I decided I would just "fix it in post."

This is how the scene looked with the lights off.

And with a little Photoshop magic...

Lights!

I actually like both versions. But I think the better solution is to just go back to that beautiful, serene spot another time when confused birds aren't messing up my photos. 

I also took some shots of the fountain.

It had RGB lighting and reminded me of a gaming PC.

I also tried to get a picture of myself in front of the fountain. But my camera was pretty far away and the longest timer setting was 10 seconds.

The problem is... I am very slow.

And after several attempts I was unable to get into position before 10 seconds was up. So I tried something I haven't done since I was a teenager.

I am about to show you the only picture in existence of me... running.

Now when I say "running" what I am actually referring to is me *trying* to run, but actually going to the same speed as before. The only difference is that I was swinging my arms as if I was running, hoping that would somehow increase my top speed.

As you can see, swinging your arms does not make your legs move faster.

So I went into problem solving mode and I extended the cord of my camera's remote trigger as far as it would go and that gave me another 3 feet of distance closer to the fountain. Once I pressed the button the remote swung down and crashed into the ground, but thankfully it was okay and still functioned.

This maneuver gave me just enough time to get to the fountain and in position right as the camera took the photo.

Success!

I realized later on that my remote camera trigger was also an intervalometer. Which is a fancy way of saying I could have bypassed my camera and set that to any time I wanted.

I attempted running for no reason whatsoever.

How did I not remember that? I just bought the stupid thing a month ago.

Short term memory, you can suck it.

Long term gets the MVP this time.

Chris was worried about me and texted to make sure I got home okay.

Sometimes it is hard being out in the world knowing the longer I stay, the longer I will suffer afterward. I don't feel like Cinderella. I feel like Cinderella's pumpkin. It may be a beautiful carriage until midnight, but turning back into a pumpkin is inevitable. So I try to make the most of the time I am given as a carriage.

I think I managed some good carriage time that night.

After my fountain pictures I headed back to my car. I made sure to take a few nightlife photos of the city on the way.

Some of you may remember my classic photo entitled "Moon Over a Waffle House" that I took a few months back.

This is a new spiritual sequel I am calling...

Giant Building Over a Hooters

So majestic.

I am so happy I got to meet Chris in real life. Nothing can top that. It took me about a week to recover from the two outings being so close together. But I am finding the mental health boosts from venturing out into the world are helping more than hurting. (Though I think I am going to make more of an effort to space them out when I can.)

Thank you to Michael for making it possible for Chris to come to St. Louis. And thank you to Chris for being just as cool in person as I have known you to be chatting inside the internets.

May we meet again soon.

And, yes, your next portrait can have lightsabers.  

Meeting my longtime artist and good friend, Chris, IN REAL LIFE!

So, I hadn't been to a restaurant in over a decade. I can't even remember which restaurant since it was so long ago. But in the past few weeks I've now been to TWO restaurants.

I am becoming a social butterfly. 

And it is exhausting.

But also good.

First I reconnected with my high school best friend, John.

And that went great.

But then the opportunity to see my friend Chris (a.k.a @whosthewhatnow ) came up only a few days later. And this close proximity of social events scared me a bit, but I have been feeling much better since they figured out my heart thing, so I decided to try and do both things even though they were only a few days apart. 

The key to this was strategic resting. As soon as I got home from seeing John, I got in bed and I didn't get out of it until it was time to see Chris. And that was just enough recovery time to pull this off. Typically a short outing requires 2-3 days of rest after. 

I had never met Chris in real life. He has done nearly all of the artwork for my website and comics over the past decade. And he was a main character in my CRAPPRnauts series.

We know each other so well and it is crazy that we've never seen each other with our very own eyeballs.

He is such an amazing artist. He works fast and he adds so many cool extra details that you can stare at his comic panels multiple times and catch a new joke or easter egg each time. He is a dream to work with and my Corg Life series was only successful because he did such a wonderful job bringing Otis to life in comic form. 

So we decided to meet up at a restaurant with his friend Michael and then I was going to take a nice portrait of him after dinner. Chris had never had a professional photo taken of himself and I decided to fix that.

I told him I had a mobile photography setup. Which, in reality, is a trunk full of lights and stands and other various camera gear that I definitely won't need, but bring anyway. It's "mobile" in that it all fits in my car if you are good at Tetris (which I am).

The restaurant was downtown and I had visions of St. Louis's famous Gateway Arch in the background of Chris's portrait. I thought that would be such a cool shot. I could see it in my head and I even dreamed about it.

So I got in my car and headed downtown and my GPS told me to exit at 249B. But I kept looking and I couldn't see the sign for 249B.

This is how much road I had left when I finally was able to see the exit for 249B.

So I ended up taking 249A and going straight to East St. Louis.

Which, if you believe the headlines, is not a place you ever want to be.

Google Maps and I have been having issues lately. They also tried to get me to take the spooky way home that night, but thankfully I actually knew the non-spooky way back from when I used to go to Cardinal games with my parents as a kid.

My short term memory was trashed by shock therapy. And so was a lot of my long term memory. But it finally came through in a pinch and remembered something useful.

I only had to loop around and cross a bridge so I didn't really do anything but touch the edge of East St. Louis. I was mostly concerned about being late for dinner more than its scary reputation. Usually those news stories about a place being "dangerous" are actually just racist and hurtful to people stuck in poverty. I mean, technically my house is in a "dangerous" neighborhood, and we do have trouble with petty crime in some spots, but aside from a few dinged-up mailboxes, I've never felt unsafe in my home.

On the way back to regular St. Louis I could see the Arch on the horizon at sunset and it was kind of magical. And I wasn't able to get a good shot of it, but it sure looked pretty from my point of view. 

My photos kind of remind me of the beginning of movies like Training Day where they are trying to show you gritty, dutch angle shots of the city out of the car window to give you a sense of the location.

As I approached the restaurant I invented a new genre I call "stoplight photography." The sky was orange and the streets of St. Louis were just asking to be photographed. But I wasn't willing to die to get neat photos, so I just took them at every red light.

The big trick was trying to edit the dark area at the top of my windshield out of the photos to make it look like I didn't take these pictures from my car.

After a 15 minute detour through Illinois I arrived at my destination—a Mexican place called Rosalita's. It had a beautiful sign, so I took that literal sign as a metaphorical sign it was a nice place to get a quesadilla. 

Dinner was great. Both signs were right and their quesadilla was very tasty. Chris and I both got one, so we are quesadilla twins. The waitress was one of those "I can remember your order without writing anything down" types. And I am one of those, "I get anxiety when things aren't written down" types. And, to her credit, she did not forget our orders. But she did forget to give us silverware and napkins. So I still feel like my anxiety was valid. 

We told sad stories of the pups we lost. But we also had a lot of fun and laughed and I got to meet Michael who turned out to be an absolute mensch. I sometimes have trouble meeting new people with my social anxiety, but he was very affable and made me feel comfortable with his presence almost right away. He was a fan of Otis and mentioned he still has a Super Otis shirt. I always get choked up hearing that Otis is still loved. Hopefully we get to meet again. 

Dinner ended and it was picture time.

I asked Chris if he wanted the high effort photo or the low effort photo. Either we figure out how to get to the Arch or we find a spot near the restaurant and just take his portrait there. Chris and Michael had a driver because they were coming from a big conference and getting to the Arch would have been complicated. So we decided to go with the low effort option. 

I found a cool shop nearby that had an LED wall that changed to all sorts of different colors. And I thought that would make a neat background and give a colorful edge light on Chris's face. I pulled my car near that spot and started unloading my trunk full of photo gear.

I think Chris and Michael were a little overwhelmed when I started pulling camera gear out of my trunk like a clown pulling an endless handkerchief out of his mouth. But as far as photo setups go, it was actually pretty minimal. 

Light, giant battery, light stand, umbrella, tripod, camera, rolling walker with seat.

My dad's old rollator came in clutch because I wanted to shoot from a low angle and it is hard for me to bend down. In fact, I think I'm going to look into getting an all terrain version so I can do more outdoor photoshoots.

I started shooting in the middle of a downtown sidewalk. And I was super anxious. I could not focus (my brain, not my camera). I was very distracted with all of the people walking by and staring. I was not sure if any of the photos were turning out. I wasn't even sure if they were in focus (my camera, not my brain) because I had not yet had my lens calibrated. But down the street there was a guy with an old school boombox playing random music. His music helped to drown out the ambient noise and gave me some comfort.

I had no clue if the photos were any good, but when I got home and checked them on my computer, I realized I have 12 years of experience and muscle memory built up. I probably should have just trusted myself because the photos all turned out great.

I think Chris can now officially say he has had a professional portrait taken of himself.

This photo has been officially loved by Chris's girlfriend and mother.

There is no greater seal of approval and I am honored.

I was able to comp in any of the colors the wall displayed from other shots in case Chris is feeling a little more green in the future.

A literal rainbow of options.

I also liked this one, though it is a little more "environmental portrait" than regular portrait.

And I got some nice photos of our little group to help us remember the night. 

And I got a bunch of photos of Chris making silly faces like Calvin at his school photoshoot. 

I love this woman's reaction to our little impromptu sidewalk photo shenanigans.

After we said our goodbyes and I gave my friend a hug, I was a little bummed I didn't get to photograph him at the Arch like I had dreamed.

But then I realized I had my own car and it was capable of taking me places. (I actually haven't gotten used to that after not driving for nearly 15 years.)

So I decided to drive a few blocks over to Kiener Plaza—a park with a view of the Arch. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[cinnajun]

.·´`·.·• heartbreak girl | ml

summary | during your first couple years of high school, mark was your closest friend; then, during your junior year, you began to distance yourself from one another after you got a boyfriend. two years later, your friendship rekindles, and mark finds himself feeling the same way he felt for you before. but, when you plan to meet up during the summer after your first year of university, disaster strikes, and mark is forced to keep his love for you bottled up once more.

genre | university!mark lee x fem! reader, unrequited love, angst & like angsty fluff, all of 7dream grew up in canada

warnings | bad boyfriends :(, self doubt, also alcohol

wc | 5.5k

a/n: mark “no game” lee was literally BUILT for this song…this is one of my favs from middle school and mark is one of my favs from middle school so it’s fitting they’re paired together <3 hope you enjoy! p.s. minhee is a random guy i made up and not the guy from cravity

ft. p1h's keeho, jeon somi, itzy's ryujin

WHEN MARK WAS 16, he was truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

It was a problem that he hated, one that he knew he wouldn’t be able to figure out. And, trust him, he knew there were only two solutions to the problem: tell you or drive a stake in the exact middle of your relationship. Neither of them were options he liked, so he just dealt with the aching in his heart, the pain caused by how much he wanted to love you openly, and stayed a normal, average friend.

He didn’t think you’d be the one to drive the stake, but at least you had done him a favor. Originally, even after you’d started dating Minhee, he had no plans of unfriending you.

Mark hated to say it, but not having you around was a blessing in disguise for him. There was no more cringing at love songs, no more lying awake at night in case you’d text him, no more feeling insecure every time you talked to anyone who wasn’t him. He surrounded himself with his other friends, with Renjun and Donghyuck, and moved on—it was blissful.

There was no stress. No heartache. Just happiness.

Maybe Mark should’ve remembered that when you texted him seven months ago, saying that you felt like your friendship with him ended too unexpectedly.

How could he have predicted this, though? For god’s sake, when he received that text, you two hadn’t talked in nearly three years. He was in university now, moved on from past grievances and outdated feelings, and, when you had sent that text, he hadn’t felt anywhere near how he used to. Hell, he viewed it as his first time rekindling with an old friend, something his mom did with high school friends all the time.

Maybe he was stupid for thinking it was okay. Maybe he was an idiot. Maybe the real issue was that he let his emotions fester for two years, ignoring them until he didn’t need to see you every single day of his life. Maybe he should’ve faced this before you weren’t in a three-year-long relationship and he had no choice but to keep things to himself, lest he wants to make you feel bad or become a homewrecker.

Now, Mark was back at step one—awake in the early hours of the morning, waiting for a possible nightmare text, or any text, from you. It was grating, and he wasn’t sure why he was going through this for the second time. You were across the country from him; while you were in Quebec, he was in Vancouver, and more likely to text you once you’d woken up for the day at this point.

This was awful. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He wanted nothing more than to be peacefully asleep, to wake up refreshed for his morning class without a care in the world. Instead, he revolved around you, waiting for the day he might just have the chance to do what he should’ve done before.

-

Something you liked to do with Mark was what you called quasi-café dates (how much did you want him dead?), where you and he sat in your respective cafés across the country from each other, talking to each other on the phone. According to your claims, you brought a little tripod to hold your phone up, so he could see you better.

He’d never tell you that, after you said that, you went out and bought the same thing. Besides, you seemed to believe him when he said he just stacked up a bunch of his useless textbooks.

When you first started doing these café dates, you’d offhandedly mentioned that Minhee said no every time you asked, each time with a different excuse than before. “He’s got classes when I don’t, and every time I’m here he’s stuck in a lecture,” you claimed, and Mark could see straight through the smile you kept on your face. “It’s okay, though. Everything is going very well between us—we call every morning and night, and we send each other letters. It’s nice.”

It seemed as though every time Minhee did something wrong, there was something good to make up for it—Mark hated that. Mark hated him, for no good reason at all, and couldn’t stand seeing you lament over his absence every time you talked to him.

Nevertheless, he would treasure these café dates with you for as long as he could.

“So, how’s the music going?” you asked, stirring a cube of sugar into your tea. The sound of the spoon hitting the sides of the cup overtook whatever you were saying, and Mark cursed the phone microphone for focusing on the wrong noise. “I mean, you were helping Chenle with something, right? A school thing.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Mark nodded, scratching the back of his neck. “Um, it’s an end-of-the-year thing, so he’s turned it in. We are just waiting for the grade.”

“I hope it goes well,” you offered, taking a sip of the tea. “Speaking of the end of the year, are you heading back to Ontario for the summer? I’d love to have tea with you, like, in person—it’d be nicer than this.”

Mark’s heart went up to his throat, and a wave of giddiness poured over his body. He could’ve died, right then and there; it was so painfully platonic, and, yet, he was so painfully entranced.

“Yeah, I’ll—I’ll be back. Uh, yeah, we can have tea, so long as you’re not too busy with Minhee,” he smiled, mentally cursing himself for phrasing it like that. Sure, he was still a little hurt by you leaving him in the dust all those years ago, but he hadn’t meant to say it so passive-aggressively.

You, on the other hand, weren’t too phased by his hostility.

“Oh, speaking of him!” a smile bloomed on your face, and Mark’s heart beat once more. “I told him that I was staying in Quebec, so I’m gonna surprise him. I don’t know if you’re friends with him, or know anybody who is, so don’t tell anyone I’m coming home. ‘Kay?”

Mark was almost flattered that you thought he was friends with Minhee. When you first started dating him, Minhee hated his guts. To Minhee, Mark assumed, he was the enemy—the boy who’d occupied your attention up until the moment he asked you out.

Minhee had never told Mark to stay away or to back off, rather he was sly in the way he dragged you away from him. So, Mark told all his friends about it, and they began to hate Minhee too. If any of them knew anything about him, Mark would be shocked.

“Yeah, no problem. Secret’s safe with me.”

“Anyway, do you remember that coffeehouse we always went to in our freshman year? We should go back there, for old times’ sake…”

You kept talking, kept going on and on about all the good times you had oh-so-long ago, but Mark couldn’t bring himself to listen. He just focused on your face, made up of pixels and dim light, separated from him by a screen, and wondered why he was so stupid.

“So, how is your relationship with Minhee? I’m was never really around for it.”

You and Minhee were approaching three years, you said. You wonder how you got so lucky with him; he can be a bit fickle sometimes, but he never hurt you in a way he couldn’t make it up. He apologized when he was in the wrong, he memorized your restaurant orders, he got you whatever gift reminded him of you, he’s basically your other half. You think you’re gonna marry him, one day, leaving Mark behind to writhe over what he might’ve lost over his stupid fear of losing you completely (you didn’t say the second part aloud, but it was implied).

“I’m glad. It’s not common to find the one in high school. Good for you, [First].”

He could attest to that, through and through.

-

“Dude,” Renjun said, swiping the White Claw from Mark’s hand with ease. Drunkenly, Mark reached out for it, but Jeno—who’d appeared out of nowhere—slapped his hand away and put a glass of water in front of him. “You’re going to give yourself alcohol poisoning. Lay off.”

Chenle let out a shriek as Jaemin picked him up, bringing him over to the lit-up pool and dropping him in. Jeno slid into the chair across from Mark at the previously unoccupied table, crossing his arms over his chest. Renjun pulled up another chair, joining Jeno in giving Mark disapproving stares.

“When did Jaemin and Chenle get so close?” Mark slurred, pointing at the two. In his drunken stupor, Mark imagined Jaemin and Chenle as you and him, even if you were just friends, having a good time together with Minhee nowhere in sight.

The thought made Mark’s head hurt.

“They started gaming together a lot over the past year, but that doesn’t matter,” Jeno replied, pushing the glass of water closer to him. “What’s up with you right now, man? You’re so…off.”

“I started talking with [First] again.”

“Seriously?” Renjun asked, seeming a bit appalled. After all they’d been through, all the healing they had to force upon Mark in the early stages of their friendship, it was hard to imagine him ever going back to you. Plus, he’d seemed fully, irrevocably over it by the time he graduated. Yet, here he was, back at square one, in a worse place than before. “Isn’t…you know what, never mind. Why?”

“What do you mean by ‘why?’”

“He means you were happier without her around,” Jeno commented, nodding with satisfaction as Mark took a huge swig of the water. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, [First] really is a sweetheart, but she shredded you to pieces. You were like, I don’t know, like an unpeeled, rotten banana by the time your friendship was over.”

“I couldn’t just ignore her. She reached out, and, well, I thought it—I thought it would be okay.” Mark was getting choked up,  something he’d never do sober, but both of them were well acquainted with the sad, drunken version of him (which was just normal Mark with a hint of uncontrollable crying). “I thought I was over it. She was across the country. How was I supposed to know she was just as terrible over the phone?”

“It’s not too late to start ignoring her,” Renjun suggested, raising his brows. “You’re busy with us this summer. Blow her off until she stops asking because she’s too busy planning her wedding with Minhee. It’s as good as over for the second time. Huh?”

“Can’t.”

Mark let his head drop onto the table with a thud, unable to get rid of the headache Chenle’s screech had given him. He was getting tired.

“Why not?”

“We’re getting coffee in two days. She gets back tonight and gives Minhee a big surprise tomorrow.”

“Cancel on her, then?” Jeno said as if it was that easy.

“No. I’ll go and then stop talking to her. Yeah. That’s simple enough.”

Renjun said something else, but he was getting hard to hear. Mark would just go to sleep, wake up with a bad hangover and the urge to throw up all over Chenle’s house. He’d go through the motions, feel like somebody was stabbing his heart with a burning sword, and then stay up all night until he physically couldn’t keep himself awake.

It was easy. It was routine. He could do it well.

So, he’d be dead to the world right now.

-

Mark wanted to throw his phone against the wall. It jerked him awake with a start, the sound of an obnoxious, default ringtone ringing throughout the room. Jeno, from across the room, let out an angry groan, throwing a pillow perfectly in Mark’s direction.

It was easy enough to shut it off, but it wasn’t easy enough to push himself off the floor. The moment he got to his feet, a wave of pain assaulted his head, nearly knocking him back over. He needed to find Advil, or any hangover medicine Chenle’s parents have—they told him they bought some, in case things got too wild in their words, but he couldn’t remember where they said it was.

Jeno was sprawled out along the couch, and Jaemin had been lying on the floor next to Mark and the fireplace. Chenle and Jisung were asleep on the table, cuddling into each other like a couple (if Mark wasn’t dying, he’d snap a picture). Renjun and Haechan were likely upstairs in the guest rooms they were offered the night before and were not going to make an appearance until someone came to them.

Mark stumbled into the kitchen, wincing at how much brighter it was in there. Chenle lived in one of those stereotypical rich kid houses, so there were windows everywhere. No matter where he looked, Mark was met with morning sunlight.

Looking at the oven clock, Mark groaned when he realized it was noon. It wasn’t morning sunlight, it was the blazing, unbearable, summer afternoon sun. Then, Mark realized it was noon.

He ripped his phone from his pocket, squinting as he tried to make out his notifications. Most of them were from university friends or various apps, Twitter and Instagram, but there were a special few from you—three, two-hour-old texts and a missed call from three minutes ago.

“Wish me luck!!” the first one read, along with a few random emojis you were accustomed to sending.

“Ahh, I’m so nervous. Are you not awake yet?”

Mark was amused by how correctly you texted him. He’d never get used to the capitalization and proper punctuation.

“Oh, I forgot you and your friends were having your reunion, lol. I bet it was fun!! Drink lots of water today, and I’ll call later!!”

Mark assumed that the missed call was intended to be you explaining how things were going, but he was too busy trying to wake up to answer. Without thinking, he hurried to press the call button, putting the phone up to his ear giddily. His hangover turned into nervousness, and then a bit of fear.

One ring. Two rings. You probably weren’t going to pick up, Mark reasoned. Three rings and Mark decided he’d probably missed his chance. Four rings. He’d let it run, just in case you were far away from your phone—

“Hello?”

That was not your voice. It was an unfamiliar man’s voice, certainly not Minhee’s. There was shouting in the background, from more voices Mark didn’t recognize.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Oh, this is Keeho. You’re Mark Lee, right?” the man on the other side of the phone asked. “Well, duh, that was a stupid question. How are you?”

“Um, I’m fine. Is there a reason [First] didn’t pick up?”

“Oh, yeah, haha. Well,” Keeho started, but he was cut off by more yelling. “I’ll be right out! Mark finally called, all right? The store can wait!”

“Is everything okay?”

“No, everything’s terrible. [First] isn’t dead, so don’t shit yourself, but, uh…how do I say this?”

Mark stayed quiet, waiting anxiously for Keeho to continue talking. He went silent for a moment as if he was contemplating how to break whatever news he needed to.

“Well, I guess I’ll simply come out with it. Minhee was cheating on her,” Keeho said, and Mark could’ve punched himself over the hope that began pooling in his stomach. How much of an asshole was he, to be happy she’d been cheated on? “She’s, uh, pretty inconsolable, so your coffee date is canceled. But, if you want to come by and join the damage control team, that’d be helpful.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Are you coming by? I can explain it then.”

“I can come over, just give me a minute. Is she just at her parents’ house?”

“She’s staying with me, so I’ll just text the address. We’ll be back from the store in about, hm, an hour, so don’t come any earlier.”

Keeho didn’t wait to hang up, and the effects of Mark’s hangover were almost completely gone in a second. He was practically tripping over himself to get his shit together, picking up random items he’d sprawled around the house.

“Where the hell are you headed?” Jeno asked groggily, barely gaining Mark’s attention from the question.

“Minhee cheated,” Mark replied, zipping up his backpack and looking at his phone. Sure enough, he’d been sent an address, one that was about thirty minutes away.

“Wait,” Jeno said, pushing himself up from the couch. His walking was unsteady, no doubt the effects of last night, but he didn’t cease. “You realize you’re signing yourself off right now? If you go, Mark, there’s no coming back.”

“Then, consider me signed,” Mark replied, slinging the backpack over his shoulder and walking towards the entryway. Jeno followed, forcing Mark to give him a better answer than that. “I’ll finally be able to do what I should’ve done three years ago, and the first step towards that is helping her get over him. Okay? I need to do this.”

Jeno bit his lip, leaning against the wall. Mark looked back at him one last time, unconsciously seeking out some sort of validation (or lack thereof) from his friend. Jeno stared back, and an uncomfortable silence fell between the two, signaling all Mark needed to know about this.

“You’re on your own,” Jeno said, putting his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “If this goes spiraling, we won’t spend every second of the day picking up the pieces again, Mark.”

“I know,” he responded, and, with that, he was out the door, car keys in hand and a passive ache in his heart.

-

Keeho was a good-looking guy. His eyes lit up when he saw Mark carrying a tray of coffee, simple iced Americanos that he scraped up from a nearby coffee shop, along with a fruit pastry they’d been selling. “You’re a lifesaver,” Keeho praised, instantly moving to help take everything inside. His apartment was eerily silent, with two girls sitting on the couch, one fast asleep and the other scrolling on her phone.

“She fell asleep from, well, crying too hard,” Keeho explained, kicking the door shut behind him with the flat of his foot. “Seriously, she’s never cried that hard, like, ever. I was beginning to think she didn’t have tear ducts.”

“Dude, be nice,” one of the girls said, the one Mark could recognize—Jeon Somi, one of your club friends from high school.

“I am being nice. We’re cousins. I could be a lot meaner. Coffee?”

Somi pushed herself off the couch, and Mark felt a hefty weight fall off his shoulders. Keeho was your cousin, nobody that could potentially ruin his plans of confess-and-get-rejected-without-guilt. It was especially comforting that, should Mark play his cards right, Keeho would become an ally to his cause.

“So, uh, what happened?”

“Oh, right. So, I’m sure she told you about her surprise,” Keeho hummed, taking a sip of the coffee. “Well, we drive up, and she tells us to stay outside just in case things go ‘poorly.’ I mean, she practically predicted it, but that’s beside the point. We’re waiting for her to send a text, about twenty minutes pass, and she’s calmly walking back out.”

“Like, calmly,” Somi emphasized, taking one of the coffees for herself as well. Mark was glad he decided to get four instead of three; he had the perfect amount for everyone. “So, she gets in the passenger seat, and we all kinda sat there and didn’t say anything.”

“And then,” Keeho continued, taking the rest of the coffees from the drink tray so he could throw it away. “She says, like, super nonchalantly, ‘He’s been cheating on me the whole time.’ Obviously we were shocked because Minhee was goddamn possessive, really terribly, yet he’s cheating? So we asked her to elaborate, and she just kind of shrugged.

“By this point, you could tell she was near tears, but she kept talking like things were completely normal. Then, she said, ‘The reason the long distance was going so smoothly was because he was hooking up with girls on the side.’ She goes on to explain that he tried to say it wasn’t his fault, that the girl had drugged him, but the girl got super pissed and told her everything, beginning to end, and then she just left. Now we’re here.”

Mark was a bit appalled. Cheating was the worst possible outcome, and Mark wanted to say he expected it, but Keeho was right when he said Minhee was possessive. How could he end up cheating when he hated any man, including innocent Mark, getting anywhere near you? It seemed unbelievable.

“We’re taking shifts now and hoping recovery doesn’t take the whole summer. This was a big breakup, though, so we aren’t hopeful. But, earlier, [First] was babbling on and on about how Minhee’d known her longer than any of her friends and how he made her drop all of her other longtime friends, but you’re here now, so maybe things will speed up,” Somi said. “You can take the next shift, yeah? And Keeho and I will keep searching for the strawberry shortcake ice cream she loves so dearly.”

“I don’t mind, but, uh, your friend on the couch…”

“She won’t care. Ryujin probably won’t wake up until we’re back, anyway.” Keeho waved off Mark’s worries with ease, nodding his head towards a hallway next to the kitchen. “She’s in there. There’s a couch, and we have tissues stocked up in the bathroom. Our first goal is to get her to stop crying every second of the day, so focus on that accordingly. We’ll be out. I have your number from [First]’s phone; I’ll text when we are headed back.”

“Sounds good.” Mark nodded, turning his attention towards a door that was slightly cracked. If he had to guess, that was your door, and you were in there, red-faced and fast asleep, wishing for someone to put you out of your misery. Mark had been there.

He peeked through the crack in the door, flinching as the front door opened and slammed closed. You laid unmoving on your side, facing the wall opposite the door, breathing soundly. Mark took that as a sign that he could comfortably walk inside, unafraid of you blowing up at him in your sorry state. The TV was on, with some random variety show playing quietly, deliberately put on to be background noise.

Mark rounded the bed quietly, finally coming face to face with you. You looked peaceful, with no nightmares or unhappiness plaguing whatever dreams you were having. Your face was, indeed, red, and there was still evidence of tears lingering on your cheeks, mostly in the form of poorly removed mascara. Not able to imagine that being comfortable, Mark approached the bathroom, which was attached to the bedroom with a small doorway.

He was sure you had to have some sort of makeup remover in there, especially if this was your temporary home for the summer. Sure enough, there was a container of makeup wipes on the counter, and Mark vaguely remembered Chenle going on a rant about how makeup wipes were awful for your skin. Nevertheless, he picked it up, opening the bag without making any noise as best he could.

“How many do you usually need?” he whispered to himself, deciding two was the magic number. He crept back out into the room, making barely any noise as he crouched down next to you. And, as gently as he could, Mark began scrubbing the makeup off your face, wiping at the apples of your cheeks and barely brushing against your eyelids.

He felt at peace. Even when you were sad, distraught, and angry, Mark felt as though you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen; from your hair to even your hands, there was nothing about you that wasn’t beautiful. You were, quite possibly, the most precious person in his life, even if you weren’t more than good friends.

With one slightly-too-firm swipe, your eyes shot open, and you seemed a bit delirious. Mark smiled at you, retracting his hand and placing it on his knee. “Good morning,” he whispered, watching as you became reacquainted with your surroundings. True to Keeho’s word, you instantly began to tear up, which made Mark panic a bit.

“No, don’t cry,” he whispered, frowning. “Do you need anything? Water?”

You shook your head, pushing yourself up from your laying-down position. Mark sat on the edge of the bed next to you, waiting for you to say something—anything—with any indication of what he should do next. “I feel bad,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears falling down your face. “We were supposed to get coffee and be happy, but now you’re here watching me fall apart over wasting three years of my life.”

“No, it wasn’t wasted.” Mark shook his head, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly. “You loved him, [First], and I’m sure he loved you too. While it was happening, it was good, and then he messed up. He’s the one who wasted three years, not you. Never you.”

While it hurt to admit, Mark knew how madly in love with Minhee you were. He couldn’t imagine how you felt, believing that all those years spent loving him were a waste, because, when his friends were helping him get over you, they always assured him that loving somebody was never useless.

“How, though? I could’ve been meeting new people and loving them as much as I loved him,” you argued. “I let him tell me who to talk to and who not to talk to, I let him drag me away from my friends, from you, with the full belief that I would be with him forever. Look where that got me, Mark. Walking in on him and the girl he told me I didn’t have to worry about.”

“But look where I am right now?” he responded, squeezing your hands. You looked at him with those big, tear-filled eyes, and Mark found it difficult to ignore the pain he was feeling in his heart. He hated seeing you so sad. “I’m in front of you, even after he told you to stay away. And I’m sure if you reach out to anyone else, try to recreate any relationship he stole from you, they’ll gladly reciprocate. This is not the end of the world, so don’t let yourself feel that way.”

You stared at him, hiccuping every few seconds. Tears flowed down your face like crystal rivers, dripping onto the blankets every couple of seconds. Then, finally, you spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. You are more than him.”

-

Mark was beginning to believe Jeno was right.

Maybe he was impatient, maybe he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, of your relationship with Minhee, but things were going nowhere. Every little thing that reminded you of him sent you into a spiral, and, while you barely cried anymore, you still sulked and shut yourself off. It was excruciating.

Slowly, Mark was realizing it wasn’t easy to help someone get over a breakup when you were in love with them. In fact, it made things unbearably difficult, to the point where he was beginning to dread it. What once was hope became pure pain, and what once was determination became despair.

He didn’t understand why you couldn’t see what was right in front of you, why you couldn’t see him right in front of you. He was tempted to explode, to ask you if Minhee would’ve done the same for you as he was doing. Why wouldn’t you look at him the way he wanted you to? Why can’t you see how he feels?

Mark was going insane, and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

Now, he was on his way to have coffee with you, as you’d insisted. You constantly talked about how guilty you felt for blowing him off, no matter how much he said he didn’t mind and that he understood why you had. Two weeks later, you’d decided that today was the day you finally had a real-life, in-person coffee date.

Somehow, though, Keeho had managed to stop him beforehand.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Keeho said, motioning for Mark to step into the alleyway next to the café. He assumed Keeho had dropped you off and discreetly waited for him to arrive with the intent of speaking to him as he was now. “About [First].”

“What about her?” Mark responded although he knew what Keeho was going to say. He leaned against the wall of the café, glancing down at the ground before looking back up at Mark.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you.”

Mark kept quiet, waiting for Keeho to continue.

“Look, man, you don’t have to keep doing this,” he continued, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I’m sure this is as awful for you as it is for Somi, Ryujin, and I, if not worse. She…she won’t be ready for another relationship for a while, and, as much as you’re nice, I don’t want you to be her boyfriend because she trauma-bonded with you. That’s about as good as a rebound.”

Mark contemplated Keeho’s words, halfway shocked that he wasn’t hurt by the sentiment. He just felt numb.

“I’m not planning on dating her,” Mark finally said. “Not until I know she’s forgotten him, at the very least. I’m not an idiot, and I know my worth. I’m only doing this to help her, okay? I don’t intend on trapping her in a relationship because she’s hurt and clinging onto any semblance of comfort.”

Keeho nodded, letting out a small sigh. “Then I’d rather you distance yourself for a bit. You can hang out with her and stuff, but I ask that you remove yourself from the breakup-damage-control team promptly.”

Mark knew that Keeho probably wasn’t explaining the entire story and that this meant you were probably on your way to using him as a rebound. But, for some reason, he, once again, didn’t care. Even if he was still in love with you, even if he would do anything to call himself yours, he understood how things would end up if he wasn’t careful.

“No, I get it. I’ll just let her know that my friends want to see me around more often and that I think she’s doing better,” Mark nodded, ignoring the slight discomfort he was feeling. “Thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Keeho said, pushing off against the wall. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a good match for her. Better than Minhee, at least.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”

“See you.”

Both Mark and Keeho emerged from the alleyway, walking away from each other without saying another word. Mark didn’t know how he felt, and he didn’t think he ever would. Would he be able to wait? Would he move on? He didn’t know.

You were sitting directly across from the doors, two coffee cups on the table, with one filled to the brim and one half empty. You perked up at the sound of the door opening, a wide smile blooming on your face when you saw him. It made his throat close up and his heart tighten, and Mark was sure he could wait for you for however long he needed to. However long it took for you to forget Minhee. However long it took for you to realize he was right there all along.

“Hi!” you chirped, pushing the cup of coffee closer to the edge of the table as Mark slid into the booth. “How are you?”

For now, he would play friend and pretend like he never felt any differently. Pretend he didn’t want to love you openly, unapologetically, in front of everyone who would tolerate it.

“I’m good, how are you?”

Mark would wait however long you needed to get over your heartbreak and be with him.

thank you for reading!

[luvdsc]

haha, what if we kissed? (lol jk... unless?)

fact! you’re secretly in love with your best friend, and so is he!

pairing :: zhong chenle x reader genre :: fluff / best friend, buzzfeed worth it au word count :: 5,072 words warnings :: none playlist :: sunny afternoon (red velvet) ⋆ about love (marina) ⋆ all about you (nct u) ⋆ love (x lovers) ⋆ bella notte (f. murray abraham & arturo castro) author’s note :: i literally just finished writing the rest of this in my meetings today and am posting during my lunchbreak, but happy (1 day late) birthday, chenle sweetheart!! ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

“Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Dream: Worth It!”

Chenle shouts loudly from the driver’s seat, waving excitedly at the camera attached to the dashboard as he waits for the traffic light to turn green. You visibly flinch in your spot on the passenger's side, startled by the sudden greeting, and even Jisung jumps in the backseat, almost dropping the camcorder he was fiddling with.

Your best friend continues to give the camera a dazzling smile, paying no attention to your and Jisung’s brief glares. “Today on Worth It, thanks to a fan’s suggestion, we’ll be trying out three different spaghetti dishes at three drastically different price points to find out which one is most worth it at its price!”

“Yes,” you chime in, nodding excitedly at the camera and giving a little wave. “So if you want to see another riveting episode of Chenle and Jisung going on three dates at three drastically different price points while I third wheel again, please stay tuned!”

“Hey!”

Both the boys wildly protest, but you blatantly ignore them, checking your phone quickly before beaming at the camera again. “So here’s our first spaghetti fact! The word ‘spaghetti’ is actually the plural version of spaghetto. Spaghetto comes from the Italian word spago, which means twine or thin string.”

“Wait, that actually makes sense. Spaghetti looks like thin strings,” Chenle says, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Yeah, basically every language makes sense, except for English,” you remark, setting your phone down in your lap before turning to your best friend. “So are you excited for this episode’s dish?”

“Yes! Shout out to Moony for your suggestion,” Chenle calls out, driving forward before making a right. “If anyone else has any suggestions for future videos, please feel free to comment below.”

You start to explain the first restaurant to your viewers. “Our first stop is called Legalize Marinara! It’s a small hole in the wall place in downtown LA, and fresh pasta is made everyday. We’ll be talking to the owner and chef Johnny Suh about the daily process.”

“And cut!” Jisung calls out, and you stop there, pressing the off button to end the recording. Later on, the three of you will have to work on snipping up the recordings to create a smooth transition from there to a shot of Johnny and his restaurant before jumping into your quick interview with him.

You quickly scroll through the questions you had written ahead of time to ask Johnny on your phone, mouthing the words and memorizing them. You were always the one who asked about the history of the restaurant because Chenle wasn’t as good with the more sentimental questions and preferred the light hearted ones about the food specifically, which you didn’t mind. As long as you get to try good food at the end of it, you’re one very happy, very stuffed camper. You are very much looking forward to visiting Legalize Marinara.

“—and that’s how the pasta is freshly made everyday in the morning.” Johnny finishes up, giving the camera a very charismatic smile and a wink. “We also have a special brew of coffee created by my dad, but that’s a story for another episode. I’ll bring out the spaghetti once it’s ready.”

You and Chenle thank him before going over to sit at one of the small metal tables near the entrance. The place had a sort of modern, yet retro feel to it with an eclectic mix of vintage, kitschy furniture adding pops of color here and there to the otherwise simple space with a neutral palette. The name of the restaurant flashes as a neon sign, serving as the main wall decor along with records scattered here and there on the wall as well.

Jisung stands across from the two of you, propping the large camera on his shoulder in preparation. You and Chenle both take a sip of the special coffee drinks Johnny prepared for you each on the house, pleasantly surprised by the crisp, refreshing taste your taste buds are immediately hit with. Johnny appears minutes later, a pretty plate of simple spaghetti and meatballs along with some Parmesan and garnish on top in hand.

“Here’s our most popular dish: spaghetti with meatballs!” he announces, placing the plate in front of you both carefully. “It’s a simple tomato sauce, but it’s made with organic, local ingredients that we get from the farmer’s market every morning. We get the fresh meat from the butcher down the block everyday to make the meatballs and buy the cheese from local sellers as well. We also add the secret spice mixture created by my mom to the meatballs, which gives it a distinct flavor from other restaurants. Please dig in, guys!”

You immediately swirl your fork into the plate of spaghetti. It looks and smells absolutely fantastic, and your mouth is already watering. You cannot believe that this only costs thirteen dollars. This is an absolute steal. You are just about to take a bite when—

“Wait! We didn’t do a ‘cheers’ yet!” Chenle exclaims, sticking out his fork towards you. You clink your fork against his own metal utensil, and he’s finally satisfied, retracting his arm. Finally, you take the much anticipated bite. The flavors absolutely explode in your mouth, and you’re already reaching out to take a second forkful of the delicious masterpiece.

“This is amazing,” you declare, and Chenle nods enthusiastically, spearing a meatball with his fork. Jisung briefly pans the camera over to Johnny, who shows a double thumbs up before doing finger guns and giving an exaggerated wink.

“Here, try this.” Chenle cuts a piece of the meatball and offers it to you. You reach out for it, but he pulls back, smiling widely and eyes sparkling. “Nuh uh, that’s too easy. Say ah, Y/N.”

“I—” Your cheeks grow warmer than ever, and his grin grows broader, wriggling the fork in front of you. Face burning, you move forward and take a bite. You can hear Jisung fake gagging behind the camera and very much would like to flip him the bird, but you are a professional. You’ll get him back for that later. After all, revenge is a dish best served piping hot and spicy, and you have some Carolina reapers leftover from another video that may accidentally find its way into Jisung’s ramen next time.

You and Chenle spend some more time describing the dish in between bites as Johnny pipes in here and there with some well placed dad jokes that has Jisung shaking his head behind the camera. By the end of it, you both are very happy, and you switch places with Jisung who has a chance to try out the pasta himself at last. He silently eats it before tossing a thumbs up at the camera, and you stop the recording there. After thanking Johnny once more before the three of you leave, you all pile into your car and get ready to go to the next stop.

Up next: Penne for your Thoughts.

“Can we stop here?” Jisung pipes up, peering out the window with interest. His eyes scan the surroundings, peering at the empty space and the wide stairs in front of the spiraling columns of a grand building.

You furrow your eyebrows, glancing at your friend in the backseat. “We’re still a couple blocks away from the restaurant though.”

“This looks like a good spot to film a dance,” he muses to himself before sitting up straighter. “Can we take a quick break? We’re still early, and I wanted to film a quick TikTok before the sun sets.”

You look over at Chenle, who shrugs and pulls over. He backs up into an available parking space, parallel parking smoothly, one hand gripping the back of your seat and the other on the steering wheel. “Alright, do your thing, Jisungie.”

Jisung excitedly hops out from the back. You and Chenle follow suit, locking the car behind you. Your friend is busy setting up his collapsible tripod before placing his phone on it and calling over to you, “Hey, can you stand in front, Y/N? I wanna angle this correctly and check the lighting.”

You move in front of his phone, standing several steps in front of the stairs. Jisung fiddles around with his phone for a few moments, switching up some of the settings and zoom functions before straightening up, eyes bright. “Okay, stay there to mark the spot! I’m gonna press the start button to record. Chenle, can I borrow your phone? I need to play the song for the dance.”

Chenle hands him his phone, and the familiar intro to Doja Cat’s “Say So” begins to blast on top volume. Jisung hands it back to its owner and hurriedly moves to stand in front of his own recording phone as you step aside. “I kinda also need you two in my TikTok.”

“Wait, what? I don’t know the dance,” you protest, starting to back out, but Jisung grabs your hand, pulling you into view, as Chenle bounces over with a shrug of his shoulders, never one to shy away from the camera.

“You don’t need to dance. I just need you both to uh, kiss my cheek on, um, both sides when I tap on them both. It should be the fourth time she says ‘say so’ in the song,” he stammers slightly, face turning slightly pink. He avoids making eye contact as you give him a suspicious look, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What? Why?”

“It’s part of the dance! Now get out of the shot please because the chorus is finally coming up again!” He unceremoniously shoves you out of the frame, and Chenle quickly catches you before you faceplant into the ground. You have a few choice words to yell at your friend and are about to furiously march over to him, but Chenle tightens his grip on you. “Let’s just let him finish, and we can go on. You know how he is about dancing.”

“I’m paying Renjun to put another cockroach picture as his lockscreen again,” you huff, frowning at the dancing boy. “Why didn’t you say anything about the whole kissing request anyway?”

“Eh, I’ve done it before. It’s no big deal.” Chenle shrugs, and you start to stutter, brain malfunctioning, “Wait, you did wha—”

“Oh, it’s almost our cue!” Chenle pushes you towards Jisung as he runs behind the camera to the other side, and you find yourself stumbling for a second time before catching yourself. Grumbling to yourself, you catch Chenle’s apologetic expression, and you sigh, shaking your head as you wait on the sidelines for Jisung to do the move.

And there it is.

Jisung points at his cheeks, tapping them on both sides, and you and Chenle jump into the frame. You lean forward, pressing your lips softly against— wait.

Eyes widening, you jump back in shock, mouth popping open, and the same reaction comes from your best friend when you two realize that you just kissed each other. On the lips.

Crouched on the ground, Jisung looks rather smug after quickly dropping down mid-dance and orchestrating the whole incident. He quickly stands up, striding towards the camera and ending the recording, before efficiently packing up the equipment and walking back to the car without another word.

“Did we just—” you splutter, unable to continue your sentence, as your face grows increasingly warm. Chenle refuses to make eye contact with you, the darkening blush spreading across his face like wildfire. The two of you both direct your disbelief at the same target, rushing over to the car which he boredly stands next to, waiting for Chenle to unlock it.

“Jisung!” You both shout his name, and he just stares at you both, a small grin across his face that he struggles to hide. “What?”

“‘What?’ That’s it? What was that?! Why did you do that?” you exclaim, waving your arms around. Chenle is rendered speechless, unable to say anything after the quick outburst of his other best friend’s name.

“I was tired of listening to Che—mmph!” Jisung is abruptly cut off as Chenle throws his hand over his friend’s mouth, effectively interrupting whatever he was about to say. The two of them silently look at each other, maintaining some sort of telepathic stare that’s probably discussed in the universal book of the bro code. You’ve seen Jaemin and Jeno or Renjun and Donghyuck share the same look before and never really understood it. To be honest, it kind of reminds you of that one moment where the main characters of a chick flick gaze into each others’ eyes and then kiss.

The sound of a text notification cuts off your train of thought and breaks the intense stare down going between the two boys, and you check your phone, eyes widening. “Oh my god, we’re going to be late if we don’t go now! Taeyong just texted me to confirm if we’re coming.”

The three of you hurry into the car, buckling up in your seats. Your hand lightly grazes Chenle’s amidst the rush, and you freeze. You look up, heat spreading across your face, as Chenle meets your gaze, turning redder than spaghetti sauce.

“Alright, you can continue this moment at the restaurant,” Jisung says loudly, jolting the two of you out of your stupor. You quickly retract your hand, mumbling a quick apology, and look away, cheeks still growing warmer than ever. Chenle awkwardly clears his throat and starts the car up, driving to your second stop on the map.

Penne for your Thoughts is simply lovely. It reminds you of a place you would see on the shiny cover of Architecture Digest: a hot spot where all those social influencers would take aesthetic snapshots and post to their Instagrams. The restaurant is quaint and spacious: a large area filled with lots of greenery, hanging plants in simple white ceramic pots, white painted brick walls, and wooden tables with soft cushions on each seat. Once you wrap up the interview with Taeyong, you are seated next to an open window with a great view of a pretty koi pond in the back.

“We serve Korean fusion style food here, and our spaghetti has a freshly made tomato sauce that includes chopped kimchi infused in it. We found that using garlic marinated pork belly makes a more flavorful meatball, which we char slightly, paying homage to the wonderful KBBQ samgyeopsal. We also found that a raw egg yolk on top adds a richness to the pasta, which is similar to a bowl of bibimbap. And there’s some grated Parmesan and mozzarella on top.” Taeyong sets the plate of gorgeous spaghetti in front of you and Chenle with a shy smile. “I hope you both enjoy it.”

You don’t know how else to describe the dish, except that it is beautiful (Just like the restaurant owner, like have you seen his face? Lee Taeyong is the true modern day Adonis, but you digress). You swear you saw Chenle wipe a tear from his face out of the corner of your eye. Practically salivating, you impatiently wait for Jisung to take a few close up videos and pictures of the dish before you immediately dig in.

Fork awkwardly hovering in the air, you pause, turning to Chenle. “Uh, cheers?”

His own loaded fork is halfway to his mouth when he halts. “Oh! Right. Yes. Um, cheers, Y/N.”

The two of you stiffly tap your forks against each other before facing forward again and finally taking the much desired bite. The flavors are bursting like fireworks, and if someone told you that you had died and gone to heaven, you would believe them because there’s no other word to explain the taste other than heavenly. Dante had many circles leading to the center of hell. If you are to apply the same concept to heaven, Legalize Marinara would be the first circle you enter once you go past the pearly gates, and Penne for your Thoughts would most definitely be the second.

The clinking of Chenle’s fork against the plate breaks you from your thoughts, and your good mood falters when you remember the incident again. You plaster a quick smile as you begin to describe the dish to the camera. Chenle chimes in with a wide smile of his own that looks a little too forced, but the only one who seems to notice is you.

Once the recording is wrapped up, Chenle drops you off at your apartment building for you to change into a more dressier attire for the last stop. He and Jisung will change at their place before coming back to pick you up for dinner.

Up next: Terrazza San Valentino.

The place is positively breathtaking. It is an upscale restaurant with open seating on a terrace, leading to a beautiful view of the ocean. Wisteria vines and bright flowers weave their way through the twisting low iron fences encompassing the space as they climb the sides of the building. You have the perfect seat to witness the picturesque sunset over the rippling waters. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon had been brought out and now rests on the covered table, uncorked and already poured out into two glasses. It very much reminds you of the beautiful restaurants you visited along the Amalfi Coast, specifically Il Capitano in Positano. You only hope that the food here will be just as amazing as the pasta you ordered there.

You just wish your company was a little better. The atmosphere felt more awkward than the time your mom had set you up on a blind date with her coworker’s son. You had to text Chenle for help that time, and he came to your rescue, helping you escape after pretending to be your long lost son. Obviously, your date wasn’t dumb enough to believe that, but he did believe that you were completely off your rockers and immediately took off after that.

Sneaking a glance at your best friend, you sigh when you realize that he refuses to look your way. You carefully tuck the skirt of your wine red dress under your crossed legs. The sweetheart neckline emphasizes the simple gold necklace you have on, and the dress tapers off at your waist, accentuating your figure perfectly. You paired the outfit with a matching lipstick, a simple black clutch, and some elegant black heels with ribbons that loop around your ankles into a pretty bow.

In other words, you look stunning, and Chenle’s palms are growing sweaty. He undos the first few buttons of his white dress shirt, desperately wanting to take off his tailored suit jacket, but his attire would look much too casual without it. He avoids eye contact with you and remains silent, growing even more flustered by the second, and looks at Jisung helplessly.

Of course, his other best friend proves to be useless again (Disappointing, but not surprising). Jisung simply wriggles his eyebrows at him, eyes darting from you to Chenle, before zooming into his face at a very unflattering angle. Chenle throws him a dirty look, and Jisung merely sticks out his tongue in response. However, they immediately smoothen their expressions into much more pleasant ones when Jaehyun comes out with the plate of food on a small cart.

“This is our play on spaghetti.” He gives you a dimpled smile, and you briefly wonder if the customers rave about this restaurant because of the food or the chef. Perhaps it is a combination of both.

He continued to explain the dish, setting it down in front of you and Chenle. “We use strangozzi that is made fresh every morning. We infuse sun dried tomatoes that we dried ourselves into the olive oil for a minimum of thirty days. The pasta is cooked for sixty seconds, while we slightly sauté grated truffle in the oil in a pan. Once the pasta is ready, we transfer it to the truffle pan and cook it for another minute, making sure to coat the pasta in the sauce. And then we grate some Parmesan and truffles right on top at the table.”

Jaehyun pulls out the expensive mushroom, generously grating thin slices on top of the glistening strands of pasta. The smell is incredible, and your eyes are already hyper fixated on the dish in front of you. He puts down the mushroom and grater, picking up the second grater and the cheese from the cart before shredding the cheese perfectly.

When he finishes, Jaehyun places them back on the cart and smiles at you both charmingly once more. “I hope you enjoy your meal. If you need anything else, please feel free to ask.”

You thank him before he leaves, and Jisung takes all the necessary shots before giving the okay to start eating. You and Chenle offer up some comments about the elegance of the dish, describing its appearance and finally twirling some on the end of your fork. You murmur a quiet “cheers” as the two of you clink your glasses of wine together and take a sip before having the first bite.

The amount of money you have to pay to have a truffle dish is absolutely worth it. The taste is simply indescribable, and you truly have no words. You are blown away by the amount of flavor that can be created with just a few ingredients, and your taste buds are singing. Wide eyed, you turn to look at Chenle, who has the same astonished expression on his face, already staring back at you in complete surprise.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, and your best friend agrees with you. “Holy shit indeed.”

You immediately go for another bite, and Chenle quickly follows suit. “This is— this is incredible. I don’t know how to describe it, except, except, wow. I can’t stop eating it, and the sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, fresh pasta al dente, and truffles just work so well together. It’s like a symphony in my mouth.”

“I agree,” Chenle nods enthusiastically, swiping another forkful of the yummy goodness. “This has to be one of the best dishes of the entire season.”

“Yeah, absolutely.” You spear a slice of the truffle with the pasta, and the ensuing bite is simply perfect and delectable. “I would come back here every single week if my bank account would let me.”

The stifled atmosphere between the two of you suddenly becomes relaxed at that point, the thick tension dissipating with food never failing to act as the perfect ice breaker and buffer simultaneously. For now, you can pretend the kiss didn’t happen and almost forget it (key word: almost).

“There’s a very popular fan suggestion,” Jisung pipes up, looking at the comment section of the previous video where you and Chenle announced your current recording’s star dish. “It got over twenty thousand likes and five hundred responses.”

“What is it?” You pause in eating, fork poised in the air, as you look over to your friend behind the camera. Chenle pays no attention, continuing to take another bite.

“Recreate the Lady and the Tramp moment.”

Your jaw drops, and your eyes grow round. Practically scandalized, your voice goes an octave higher. “You mean the kissing scene?!”

At the mention of kissing, Chenle chokes on a noodle, spluttering and nearly hacking up a lung, and you quickly reach over and firmly pat him on the back repeatedly until he stops coughing with a weak “thanks.”

“What? This is a food show! Why do they want us to kiss?” your best friend wheezes, and you pass him a glass of water. He grabs it from your outstretched hand gratefully and takes a large gulp.

“I don’t know, fan service? Anyway, it’s good for the views!” Jisung gives you a thumbs up, and you frown at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Why don’t you do it with Chenle then?”

“It specifically says you and Chenle,” he informs smugly with a smirk, and you glower at him, much to his amusement.

“Well, if it’s for the fans…” Chenle trails off, a faint blush beginning to make its appearance on his face. He hesitantly pulls out one strand of the pasta, picking up one end on his fork.

You can’t believe this. Yet, you slowly reach out for the other end of the strand with your fork, twirling it onto the metal prongs securely. You move to take your end of the noodle, while Chenle does the same, both of you actively avoiding eye contact.

“Oh c’mon, at least make it a little more romantic than that. Jeno and Jaemin have more chemistry than you two right now,” Jisung complains, and you would very much like to chuck the half full bottle of wine at his big, annoying head (Chenle also has similar thoughts).

Taking a deep breath, you finally place the noodle’s end in your mouth. Cheeks burning, you can feel your heart rate already skyrocketing at the mere thought of kissing your best friend again. You know you’ll freeze up if you look at him, so you do your best to focus your gaze on the center of the noodle strand. You’ll have some time before the two of you meet in the middle, right?

Wrong.

It comes much too soon, and your palms are growing sweaty as your heart races in your chest at a breakneck speed. Your lips are mere millimeters away from his, and you pause. You can’t hear anything, but the pounding of your heart and the blood rushing to your cheeks, and you finally find the courage to peek up at your best friend. You find him already gazing at you, a soft expression on his face. His eyes dart down to your lips before meeting your eyes once more, and you suddenly realize that he’s waiting for you, that he won’t do anything unless you want it too, that it’s okay if you don’t.

But you do.

So you muster up all the courage you possibly can and close the distance, carefully pressing your lips against his for a tender kiss before biting off the noodle. When you pull back, you finally notice the awestruck expression written all over Chenle’s face. He lets out a small laugh of disbelief before he positively beams, bouncing in his seat, and you sport a matching smile, albeit a little bashful.

“Uh, anyway, who left that comment? We should probably give them a mention,” you say, clearing your throat and hoping the heat subsides in your cheeks soon. Chenle continues to grin like the Cheshire Cat and secretly grabs your hand underneath the tablecloth, intertwining your fingers with his. You can feel your face exponentially growing warm once again, but you still send a pleased smile to your best friend.

“Uh…” Jisung awkwardly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “‘Insert goofy’s chuckle.’”

At Jisung’s answer, you freeze up entirely in your position before immediately turning and locking eyes with Chenle in complete horror, the both of you instantly coming to the same, dreadful realization.

“HYUCK?!”

One new notification: Dream: Worth It uploaded a new video!

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

oh my god you guys actually did it. your relationship started all thanks to ME 🙆🏻 you’re welcome btw 😘 I take payment in the form of your first born’s name

notanimpasta replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle ok calm down rumpelstiltskin

jisung pwark replied:  @ notanimpasta what a perfect nickname for him. He’s an ugly little greedy man

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark LMAOOOO (and congrats, chenle and y/n!)

 insert goofy’s chuckle replied:  @ jisung pwark what tf no one asked??? 

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark wait hold on you were supposed to edit that end part out????

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta i left it for the views ☺️

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark people watch for the food tho!!! 🙂

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ replied: @ big head king I watched it for the kiss. Love is so beautiful 🥰💓💞🥺🥺💕💛💟✨💖

jenojam replied: @ big head king I had watched it for the food! but congratulations, y/n and chenle :) 

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ big head king i watched it because ron jeon said you mentioned me

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle IT’S RENJUN!!!!!! 🤬🤬 

mork lee rawr xD replied: hahaha I watch for the food~

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ mork lee rawr xD Thank you Mark, very cool!

winwin in past tense is wonwon!!! commented:

whoop whoop congrats lele 🥳🥳

rapperpunzel commented:

the pasta looks good 🍝

johnny’s communication center commented:

Thanks for stopping by! Come back for the couple’s special discount anytime 😉

baa baa yang sheep commented:

oh my god finally!!!

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ baa baa yang sheep you owe me $50 I was right, it happened before the season finale

baa baa yang sheep replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck suddenly i’m jared, 19

xiao dejasmine commented:

hahahaha cute ! 😁😁

ty track commented:

Thank you y/n and chenle for visiting ~~ congrats on your relationship !!! -TY

junguwu (◕‿◕✿) commented:

YAAAAAS CHENLE SWEETIE 😘😘😘

jisung pwark commented:

check out my latest tiktok video @ jisungpwark to see their actual first kiss!!! and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe ☺️

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark STOP USING US AS CLICKBAIT

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta no ❤️

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta also red is sus

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark so when are you gonna do the best friend kissing challenge huh 👀

jisung pwark replied: @ big head king SHUT UP CHENLE

honeyfairy replied: @ jisung pwark 😳😳

gu ren gui god commented:

wow~ very cute, chenle! my angel 😊

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

YOOOOO CONGRATS, MAN 🤩🤪🤪

prince jae commented:

thank you guys for coming by! please stop by next year on your anniversary free of charge (:

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ prince jae omg mark and I will be there for sure ❤️

showmethemonet replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle my new boyfriend and I will be there too ☺️

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet I’m sorry, I was wrong, pls don’t leave me for bts jin even though i am so much more handsomer and talented than him 😌

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[honeyhan-123]

The Monster In Plain Sight

Summary: Steve’s been slowly biding his time, playing the role of the perfect Captain America, but now he’s sick of playing and he’s going to take what he wants. 

Warnings: Non-con, Dark! Steve, Steve is a serial rapist, somnophilia, forced exhibitionism, breeding kink, use of the word Daddy. If any of these makes you uncomfortable please do not read. 

Word Count: 2.1k

AN: Ooop, I can’t believe I’m actually posting for the first time in nearly three months. Please be gentle <3

Also I would like to thank everyone on the dark group chat for encouraging me to keep on going with this idea. It didn’t quite turn out as dark as I thought it would but you guys gave me the incentive to keep on going so thank you <3

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He was hard. Achingly hard. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this, this desperate for release but he knew he had to take his time. He had to relish in every single second he could get. He doubted he would get another chance and so he had to make this one count. 

The sleeping pills he had slipped into your wine at dinner were obviously working as you barely twitched as he slid your bedroom door open. It had almost been too easy to get his way. All he had to do was move in next door and play his usual role. No one would ever suspect The Captain America of the sinful acts that he was about to do, that he had done numerous times. 

But even as he watched you sleep, he knew something about this time was different. He wasn’t quite sure what it was. Maybe it was because unlike his usual victims he had actually made contact with you. He had never been so bold before. Usually there was always a camera lens separating him from his victims. But not this time. Not with you. 

He slithered over to the vanity opposite your bed, setting up his tripod with hasty fingers. He double checked the view point, making sure that the entire bed was in frame. He knew he wouldn’t forget a moment of what was about to happen but still, he wanted the momentos. The physical reminders. He pulled the sheets back from your unconscious body and relished in the way your nipples hardened at once as they met the cool night air. 

It was only at times like this when he could stop acting. When he could truly be himself. For these brief hours he could be who he was, not who the world thought him to be. 

He slid one hand up underneath the silk nighty you wore and cupped your tit as his other hand dipped into his already open pants. It was a relief to feel the cool breeze on his hot pulsating length and even better when he grabbed one of your hands and wrapped your fingers around it. Slowly he moved your hand up and down, a low groan tumbling from his lips. Your dainty fingers felt amazing wrapped around him, far better than his own, but he longed for more. 

With a final tweak of your nipples, he let his hand slide town along your stomach and towards the lace that covered your mound. He cupped it through the scanty material, pushing the fabric into your lips as he felt you up. He couldn’t wait to be inside you, to have you wrapped around him like a vice. 

Getting you out of the nighty without jostling your body too much was a little difficult. Perhaps he should have cut it open, that would have fitted better with his plan should you awake. Ridding you of your panties was far easier and the sight that met him was beautiful. 

Sure he had camped out on your fire escape multiple times, watching as you dressed or prepared for a shower. But even then you had always been quick to recover yourself, as if you knew he was outside, watching with a hand wrapped around himself. Now however, he had you exactly as he wanted and he could take as long as he needed. 

Whipping out his phone, he made sure to capture all your best angles. He wanted your body to be immortalised forever so desperately that he even risked turning the flash on. He didn’t want to miss a single curve. When he felt as though he had enough pictures to last a lifetime, he moved onto stage two and trailed a hand up your calf. 

He kept his touch light for the most part until he reached in between your thighs. Steve couldn’t help the guttural sound that came out of his mouth as he parted your thighs, showing off the wetness that drenched your pussy lips. He had barely touched you and yet you were practically soaking the sheets. You must need it bad and who was he to refuse a woman in need? 

He wondered briefly what was going through your mind as he played with your slick. Were you dreaming of him? Of him doing these things to you? Of him making your body feel this way? 

He sure hoped so. 

He wanted you to know it was him. That he had crept in here after dark and filmed himself while he took you however he saw fit.

Deep down he knew he could never allow that to happen. That you could never know. It would be a PR nightmare and his days of taking whatever he wanted would be over. The only reconciliation in his mind was that if everything went according to plan, maybe this wouldn’t have to be a one off like all the others. Maybe he would purposely wake you up? He could make it seem like whoever had done those depraved things to your body had got away and it would only be natural that you would seek comfort with him, your supposed hero.

A melodic whimper filled his ears as he swirled a finger around your bundle of nerves, pulling him back into the moment. Even unconscious you were so reactive. So desperate. His nimble fingers faced no resistance as he pushed inside, swirling them along your inner walls. 

Steve doubted that you needed any more work up before he satisfied himself. You were just that needy. So without a moment's hesitation, he pulled his fingers from you and licked them clean. 

You tasted so sweet, just like he knew you would. A part of him wanted to bury his face between your thighs and stay like that forever but the aching in his cock reminded him of why he was really here. He needed to fuck. 

It had been far too long since his last time, a month, maybe more. He had spent so much time following your every step that he hadn’t gotten the chance to find anyone to satiate his needs. Plus, the last time he had it had been a little disappointing if he was being honest with himself. He had cummed, multiple times but instead of the usual calmness and serenity that filled him after a session, he just felt hollow and empty. 

He had known it was because she wasn’t you. Her pleas for him to stop were wrong, far too shrill for your sweet voice. He ached to hear you plead with him to stop, to hear to cry out for help. His gut twisted in the best way just imagining it but he would have to content himself with just your body tonight. 

He crawled onto the bed, spreading your thighs with his hips as he lined himself up at your entrance. He paused, just briefly to look over at the camera, giving his future self a devious smirk before casting his eyes back to your face. He didn’t want to miss any of your body’s reactions to him. 

He felt like he was coming home as he slid inside, forcing his entire length into your tight channel. Your warm velvet walls gripping him like a vice. It was nice. So nice that he just wanted to stay here, his cock buried deep inside of you for all of time. 

‘Fuck baby, you’re griping me so tight.’ He couldn’t help the words as they fell from his lips and he hoped that you would register them, at least subconsciously.  

Without any more hesitation he pulled back out, leaving just the tip before slamming all the way back home. Perhaps he wasn’t being as careful as he should have due to the circumstances but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just wanted to mark you as his and if you felt him in the morning, even better. 

His pace was punishing as he thrusted his hips wildly, his hands groping both your tits. He toyed with the pert buds as your walls fluttered around him, a soft and delicate moan falling from your lips. The sound made him grateful he had invested in the extra strength microphone for the camera. He didn’t want to miss a thing. 

‘You’re just so desperate aren’t you baby? You just need it so bad. Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna give it to you, just how you want it.’ He pushed your legs up, over his shoulders as he pushed even deeper inside of you. He could see the faint bulge of himself inside of you with every thrust and he imagined it going straight into your womb. The idea of his seed taking root inside of you did things to Steve that he had never known possible and suddenly he wanted it. He wanted it all.

He had always made sure to pull out because any child would be able to be traced back to him but the idea of you, round and full with his child… It was too good a vision to pass up. 

His cock throbbed in need. The need to feel your velvety walls squeeze him, the need to fill you to the brim. His hand dropped down to where your bodies were connected, finding your little bud with ease. He swirled his finger in your slick and relished in the corresponding moan that came out of your lips. 

‘C’mon baby, I know you wanna cum for me. I know you wanna be a good girl for me.’ His voice was throaty as he whispered into your ear, his ministrations on your clit never ceasing. He felt the familiar squeeze of velvety walls and he knew you were close. 

‘That’s it baby, be a good girl for Daddy. Cum for me baby. Cum on Daddy’s big thick cock.’ He knew his words had taken affect as almost immediately he felt the pulsating of your walls, gripping him tight as you came. The sound of your pleasure was almost drowned out by his own low groan. ‘Fuck baby, milking me so tight. Fuck, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum inside you, gonna fill you with my seed. You want that don’t you? You need it.’

Steve could barely control himself as he felt his balls pull up, his seed spilling inside of you in hot spurts. He allowed your legs to fall down his shoulders as he collapsed on top of you, trying to catch his breath. 

‘Fuck baby, that was so good, so fucking good.’ His words were slurred, his heart still racing inside his chest. He felt the familiar pull in his gut as he started to harden again and he was about to start taking you again when he heard a soft mumble get caught in your throat.

He froze, still completely encased in you, unsure of what to do. If you opened your eyes you would know immediately what had happened and he probably wouldn’t get a second chance without resorting to drastic measures. 

A moment passed, and then two and your eyes still remained firmly shut and Steve let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps he shouldn’t go for round two right now. There was always tomorrow night, and the next night and the next. He could hold back for now. 

Slowly he pulled his aching cock from you, watching in awe as a little of his cum seeped from your swollen lips. He gently scooped it up before pushing his fingers back inside. He didn’t want a drop to go to waste. 

He pulled the camera off the tripod and carried back to the bed, giving your body a loving once over with the lens before putting himself back into frame as he knelt by your head. ‘Y/N L/N, twenty-first of September. Rating, ten out of ten. I will be coming back for seconds.’ With one last pan down your body, focussing on your cum soaked lips, he started getting redressed. He hated to leave you, but he knew he must. You couldn’t know that it was him doing these sinful acts with you, not if he wanted more. 

He grabbed the notebook on your bedside table and turning to a new page he began to write with his non-dominant hand. 

Thank you so much for last night baby. I can’t wait to see you again.

He placed the note on your pillow and pushed his lips against yours, sweeping his tongue around your entire mouth and drinking in your taste. It was with extreme regret that he left, but he knew he would be seeing you in a couple of hours. He would make sure he was the first person to see you in the morning. He would hold you in his arms and comfort you as you asked him for help, and he would give it to you. 

And so much more. 

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Part Two

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Thanks for reading <3