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dumbstuffsstuff · 2 years ago

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Drunken Tickles || Genshin Impact || Switch!Diluc Switch!Kaeya

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!Not A Ship!

Also I apologize for any typos, I was writing this late at night :) Enjoy!

Switch!Diluc

Switch!Kaeya

Slight Ler!Venti

———

“You’re such a dumbass!”

Diluc grumbles in a deep and irritated voice. He walks through Mondstat to Dawn Winery Manor, carrying his red-faced, drunken younger brother. The captain could barely stand on his two feet, let alone walk. Diluc was practically hauling Kaeya’s torso to his manor.

“Ehehehe… You’re so silly Diluc,” Kaeya mumbles. He’s half asleep at this point. Had Diluc not been pissed off, his voice would easily put Kaeya to sleep.

Except it wasn’t just the fact that Kaeya had gotten himself drunk, but the mischief that his brother causes when he is drunk. Mischief that Diluc always wished he wouldn’t have to be around for. And unfortunately for him, he was around that evening.

Earlier, right as Diluc was closing the tavern, Venti and Kaeya had entered for some alone drinking time. After a long week of tasks and adventures, the Captain and the Bard needed some time to themselves. And what better way to destress than to sip some dandelion wine.

They’d managed to finish two bottles. And as Diluc was cleaning up, Kaeya had “whispered” something to Venti. Except his drunken state had him unable to “whisper”, and ended up blurting, “Did you know my brother makes funny noises when he’s tickled?”

“Master Diluc is ticklish?!” Venti was impressed.

Diluc felt his cheeks flush red, and he looked around the tavern to make sure no last minute diners were still around. Luckily there weren’t, unluckily, he later found himself being attacked by two blue haired drunks.

“Are you mad at me? I feel like you’re mad at me,” Kaeya flops onto his brother’s bed, still flushed with alcohol. Diluc doesn’t say a word. He glares at the younger man and goes to shower and change.

When he comes back, Kaeya had made himself comfy in his own t shirt and shorts, which matched Diluc’s but were blue instead of red. Kaeya is sprawled out on his bed, asleep. Diluc assumes the alcohol had worn off by now. So it was the perfect time to execute his revenge plan.

Kaeya’s shirt had ridden up a bit, exposing his toned stomach. Diluc ran all five of his fingers across the skin, and Kaeya jolted up immediately.

“AHA?!”

Diluc couldn’t help but smirk. He knew his brother was ticklish, maybe even more ticklish than himself. And he knew all the right spots.

He continues to scribble his fingers around Kaeya’s stomach, making the man squirm and giggle.

“Ahah! D-Diluc! Whahat are you dohoing? Cuhut that out!” Kaeya attempts to push his older brother’s hands away, but at every opening, Diluc just dove in to tickle him in a different spot. And Kaeya has been weakened by the alcohol.

“Revenge.”

“Rehehehvenge?!! Revenge for whahahahat?”

“You seriously don’t remember?!” Diluc pulls Kaeya underneath him and sits on his lap to prevent him from escaping, pausing his tickles to rest his hands on Kaeya’s sides.

“Remember whahat??” Kaeya still giggles in anticipation.

“The tavern?? You and Venti got drunk and…?” Diluc blushes. Kaeya doesn’t remember. And Diluc will kick himself in the face before he can say it out loud.

“And what?”

“I-”

“Diluc~ I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why are you blushing so much?” Kaeya gives that one hella annoying smirk.

“You DO remember!! You little lying-” Diluc attacks Kaeya’s exposed sides.

“AHAahahahahaha!!! Dihiluc!! I’m sohorry! I wasn’t in thehe right state of mihind!”

“Excuses.”

“NAHhahahahaha!! Ihits not!! I’m sohohorryy!!”

Diluc moves to pinching his hips.

“NAHAHA! DILUC hahahahahaha!! EHEheheh!”

“You always like to embarrass me in front of others. I’ve had it! It’s time you learn a lesson.”

“Nohobody was there!!”

“Barbatos was!”

“Sohoho??”

“Hmph.”

Diluc plays with Kaeya’s ribs like a piano. Counting each rib one by one.

“AHAHAHAHA!! DILUC! PLEHEHEASE!”

“One… Two…”

“NAHAHA!! WAHAIT! STOP IT!”

As Diluc got closer to Kaeya’s armpits, the higher his laughter rose. Finally, Diluc dug into his hollows, and Kaeya squeezes his arms over his torso to block as many sensations as he could.

“WHAHahahahaha! DIHIhiluc! NOHOT THERE! Plehehehehease!!”

“Fine.” Instead, Diluc moves to Kaeya’s stomach again. This time, applying more pressure and tickling him all over.

“This better?”

“AAAAAHAHAHAHA!! NOOOHOHOHO!! NO THIS IS MUCH WOHOHORSE! STAHAHAHAP! NOHOT THEHERE! ANYWHERE ELSE!”

“Hmmm nah…”

“I DIDNT DO THIHIS TO YOHOHOUU!!”

Diluc just shrugs and chuckles at his brother who’s red faced from the laughing, with tears in his eyes and his messy hair. He bucks his hips to try and throw his brother off. But it’s no use.

“GEHEHET OFF!! YOU AHAHASSSHOLE!!”

“Hey now. That’s not a way to talk to your elder brother.”

“Whahahatever old man.”

Suddenly Kaeya’s eyes widden and he puts a hand over his mouth. He knows he’s in trouble now. Diluc looks at him with a stern expression, but his eyes only reads mischief. He pulls Kaeya’s shirt up all the way, and inhales air.

“NO!”

But yes.

“N-NOHOT THAT!”

Yes that.

“DILUC NAHA PLEASE I WILL DIE!”

Diluc blows the biggest raspberry on Kaeya’s bare stomach and abs. The vibrations send Kaeya up the wall!

“AHAHAHAHHH!! DIHIHLUCCC!! NAHAHAOHOHO MOREEE!! I CAHAHAHNT! PLEHEASE!! *snort* AHAHAHAH!! OHOHO MY ARCHON!”

“Look who makes funny noises now.”

“SHUHUHUT UP!!”

“You asked for it,” Diluc shrugs and blows another big raspberry on Kaeya’s navel.

“NAHAHAHAHAH!! PLEHEHEHEHASE!! STOP ALREADY!”

“Alright, Alright,” Diluc lets up. He rolls off to the side of the bed and let’s Kaeya breathe in much needed air.

“Y-Yoho are.. Cruel!”

“Someone wants more, huh?” Diluc squeezes his side.

“EP! NO! Stohop! I can’t take anymore.”

Diluc chuckles.

“Yeah you think that’s funny don’t you? I’ll really show you something to laugh at,” Kaeya, after regaining most of his strength, wraps his arms around his older brother, wiggling his fingers into the redhead’s sides.

“AH! KAEYA! No, that was MY revenge because YOU…!”

“I what?” Kaeya sneaks his hands under his shirt and lightly scratches his sides.

“Kff…” Diluc holds in his giggles, hunching over to hide his face.

“Diluc~” Kaeya squeezes his sides making him flinch.

“Pfftt.. K-Kaeya.. You ahalready t-tickled me earlier. That was myhy revenge.”

Kaeya notices the blush Diluc gives after saying the word. He giggles, “Well, I wasn’t as merciless then… But I will be now.”

“N-NO KAEYA!”

“Tickle tickle!” Kaeya teases, knowing that it made Diluc blush and squirm.

“Kaeyahahaha!”

“Was that a giggle?”

“N-Noho…”

“I think it was~” Kaeya spiders his stomach, flipping Diluc onto the bed so they were in the same position as before, but reverse.

“KAEYAHAHA!!”

“Are you ticklish Diluc? Do you not like it when I say the word? It’s just a silly word. Tickle tickle!”

“K-Kaeyaha! Stop that now!” Diluc puts his arms over his face. Big mistake. Kaeya tickles his armpits the same way Diluc did before. Except this spot affected Diluc way more than it did Kaeya. Diluc instantly pulls his arms down. Twisting from side to side and bucking his hips to get him off.

“AAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! KAEYAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHO! NOHOT THERE! THIHIS IS NOT FAHAHAIR!”

“Aww is this your tickle spot?”

“SHUHUHUT YOHOUR MOUTH! I SWHEHEHEAR! OHOKAY! IHM SORRY! JUST STOHOP!”

“Nah…” Kaeya pins Diluc’s arms up with one hand, which caught Diluc off guard. Normally, Diluc would easily be able to break free, but the tickles had him weakened, and in all honesty, he wanted to let Kaeya have his fun too. But he’d never admit to that.

“NO! KAEYA!”

“Oh yes.”

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Kaeya resumes his attack on Diluc’s underarms, Diluc still twisting about.

“KAAHAHAHEYA!!”

“Yeess?”

“STOHOHOP IT!”

“Alright,” Kaeya let go of his arms, but remained sitting on his legs. He instead turns around to face his brother’s feet, turning his head back with a smile.

Diluc’s heart drops to his stomach.

“No. Kaeya. You wouldn’t.”

“Oh but I would~”

“N-Nononono Kaeya, Kaeya. No.”

“I spear you in public, but now? You’re in for it.” Kaeya spiders quickly up and down Diluc’s soles, poking his toes occassionally.

“NO! NONONONONOOOHOHOHOHO!! KAHAEYAAAA!!”

“Ahaha! I gotcha!”

“STAHAHAHAHAPPP!!! PLEHEHEHEASE!! AHAHAHAA!!”

“You got my death spot I get yours!”

“THIHIS IS TOO MUHUHUCHH!!”

“Aww, Diluc is so weak when it comes to tickling.”

Diluc blushes at the statement.

Kaeya pokes in between his toes, making Diluc’s entire leg twitch and kick, but with Kaeya sitting on them there’s not much he can do.

“AHAHAHA! PLEHEHE *snort* IHIHI *snort* *hic* EHEHHEHEE”

Out of desperation, Diluc grabs Kaeya’s side, causing Kaeya to jump and fall off of him.

Relief at last, except the two begin wrestling, trying to tickle one another back, laughing.

“Ohohokay! Ohokay, I won’t tickle YOUHOU!” Kaeya giggles when Diluc jabs his side.

“I dohon’t believe you.”

“Truce! Truce! Truce.”

“Hm, fine.”

They both let off each other, rolling over to lay next to each other on the bed. They’re both out of breathe and smiling. They felt happy that they got to bond. They rarely ever got to these days. And Kaeya was able to see the more playful side of Diluc which he hadn’t seen in years.

“You know who else I’m going to get revenge on?” Diluc asks.

“Who?” Kaeya asks.

“That Bard.”

———

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kamurocho-lullaby · 1 year ago

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So I was planning to go through and pretty this up but I just haven't had the energy so I'm just gonna dump them here.

These are my notes from my first time watching the Yakuza movie!

I've added a cut because they're long. There's typos, they're not edited, it's literally just chaos bullet points but tadaaaah. There's also a lot of cussing, swearing, whatever u call it, so sorry.

Date is just so fuckin done with the Tokyo PD's shit I love him.

Throwing down in a Don Quixote, yes Kiryu.

WAIT IS THIS STARDUST! IS THAT FUCKIN YUYA?! IT IS AND KAZUKI TOO!

Wait who's this little shit bleeding in Kazuki's floor?

Kiryu's fight in the DQ reminds me of that gif of him fucking up a Poppo it's so good.

HOLY SHIT ITS MILENNIUM TOWER! I sure hope that doesn't explode.

HERE HE IS! Mr Tumblr Sexyman himself.

WHY ISNT HE SHIRTLESS COWARDS

I can't get over the fact Majima supposedly reads the financial times

"where's Kiryu?" "Somewhere" "not good enough" *murder*

I love the idea that Majima is at the batting cages so often it's his office. Like he absolutely painted that sign himself what a dork.

This chick is insane and wants to go robbing stores when a Yakuza war is breaking out, side story material

Date is so fuckin done literally said "not my Division"

AAAAAHHHHHH ITS HARUKA!!!!

Kiryu seems a lot colder in this movie than he is in the games idk maybe he'll warm up

Who is this cocktail making silent man I am so confused

Why is Kazuki so hot?!

THEYRE ROBBING A PORK BOWL SHOP WHAT THE FUCK

Majima and crew are goofy as fuck and I really love them literally everyone is scared of them it's fucking hilarious

HE CALLS HIS CREW KIDDIES and then ditches them to get his rocks off in a video store and the guy he beaned with a fuckin baseball in his own crew is like "ILL FOLLOE U TO THE ENDS OF THE ESRTH"

This man is goofy as fuck one second and then breaking fingers and toes to find his boyfriend the next

DUDE HES PAYING THIS KID WITH PAIN WTF I wanna be this kid wtf

Oh fuck he's got a gun, nobody should allow Majima a gun

HIS CREW KNOWS THE DEAL THEY'RE ALL HANDS UP DONT SHOOT ME BOSS I LOVE YOU

Literally the Majima fam have a "oh fuck the boss has got a gun" emergency plan

I just noticed he's wearing a studded belt omg

Kiryu needs more frown lines

OHHHH DADS MEET AGAIN

Haruka got some sass I love her

"don't be corrupting her mind" what the fuck Date he found her like that

Majima was fuckin up Pink Street why didn't he go karaoke

Lol the guy at Ebisu Pawn gives zero shits about being robbed

Kiryu, Haruka and the dog make a cute picture I love it

Fuckin Majima isn't even like looking for intel he's just wandering around shouting about Kiryu-chaaaaaaaan

Lol Kiryu gets a flip phone and it's got a charm on it omg

"over the top shit is his trademark" you don't fuckin say

LOL DATE he's just like Kiryu and Majima are up to shit it's your fuckin problem I'm out "the military won't even save your asses" omg

Don't tell me the fuckin Jingweon are here I don't wanna fuckin deal with thaaaaaaat

"Yokohama's Lau Kalong" WAIT WHAT (having learned more about 7, YES that Lau Kalong apparently the Snake Flower Triad are a bunch of assholes and they're also like everywhere)

Oh fuck this kid's been sent to kill Kyohei Jingu?! no shit of course he has

Oh fuck SERENA I didn't think we'd see that in this movie

Lol Kiryu knows the RGG way, they ain't dead until you see a body and even then cough cough Kashiwagi cough cough

Lol Haruka teaching him to use a cellphone

Majima taking a break from getting his ass kicked by Kiryu to beat up his boys is so fuckin funny

Haruka's just on the sidelines like "these fuckin dumbass boys smh"

I'm sad it's not his lacquered tanto

Yo Kiryu is fuckin merciless what?!

LOL HE JUST FUCKIN DROPPED Kiryu is so done with his dumbass boyfriend flopping on the groud

Lol all the Yakuza in Kamurocho mobilising like the fuckin Avengers

LOL the bank robbers feeding everyone in the bank is just wild I love it, still can't figure out who they are tho (they're side story material)

LOL ALL OF MAJIMAS GUYS CRAMMED IN AN AMBULACE

How is Majima MORE unhinged in this movie than he is in the games

Theatre square! Honestly the shots in this movie are actually pretty good, im surprised

The Jingweon's gun is a monstrosity why the fuck

Is that supposed to be Shimano?

Kazuki getting all intimidating with the weapons dealer do be kinda hot tho why he gotta grab him by his chin like thst

Also why does Kiryu know this guy and why does he know he's a massochist?!

LOL Kiryu protecting Haruka from the creep but like why is she there?!

Kiryu hearing all this shit about his kyoudai and he's just like... Stomping around like a mad man

Wait is Kazuki an imposter yet? (Spoiler alert, probably)

Lol these idiots cleaning up Pink Street like Majima isn't just gonna whirlwind through it again

"Don't fall for hosts, they'll get you in the end" solid advice Kiryu but are u talking from experience or? Like iirc hosts weren't a thing when u went to jail my man.

What the fuck is this dramatic military shit what who is this man?!

FUCKIN MAJIMA IN THE "BATHOUSE"

Kiryu actually trusts Majima to not go after Haruka! And he doesn't! He's actually genuinely not a bad man he's just mad as a bag of cats

Oh that whole Majima and Kiryu not killing people thing is out the window in this movie omg

"Kiryu-chan, you're so cool" Majima says through a mouthful of blood after he's been knocked fuckin cold onto his ass. This man has it so bad I love it

THE MAJIMA PEEPING AROUNF THE HALLWAY SCENE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

Fuckin Majima just pelting Kiryu in the gut with baseballs omg this movie is wild

FUCKIN HIS BAT GOT STUCK IN THE WALL OMG

Dude these guys literally kick the shit out of each other it's vicious I love it

The level of choreographed homoerotic whump in this movie

He just straight up put his foot on his ass

WHAT THE FUCK MAJIMA GET UR DICK OUT OF HIS FACE

SOMEBODY SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

KAZAMA SHOT MY MAJIMA!!!!!

"Fuck you murder dad you shot my boyfriend"

OH THE GANGS ALL HERE ITS DATE

Wait do I get to see Nishiki?!

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES NISHIKI LOOK LIKR THST

WILL EVERYONR PLEASE STOP GETTING SHOT!!!!

The fuckin Staminan X and shit in the shop that's so rad, of course Kiryu is like I'll just chug some of this shit and go fuckin kill my bro I'm fine

THE TATTOO THAT WAS A FUCKIN RAD REVEAL

Oh hey it's Zombie Majima

Who allowed a military helicopter into fuckin Kamurocho airspace that's gotta be so illegal what the fuck

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE BANK ROBBERS I love how they're just laying on the floor with the staff resigned to their shit

Nishiki put the fish away you dumb fuck

Lol Kiryu literally doesn't give a fuck about the Tojo and here's Nishiki making it all about the Tojo like bro wise up Kiryu is done with your shit

Kiryu just stone cold dead until he gets some of that Staminan that's a full triple heat gauge baby the dragon is back omg this movie is the dumbest shit I love it

The fuckin slow mo! 2007 did not deserve this movie

Top ten ways to kill your kyoudai, number 12 will jack your dad!

Wait we're not gonna get Mr "Beautiful Eyes" here are we?

Akiyama come get ur cash!!!!

Moooooom, Millennium Tower blew up again!

Y'know Date is kinda hot...

Suzuki also has no business being that hot

Fuckin Majima's dumbass batting cages sign someone better save his ass I swear to fuck

Fuckin dumbass got shot and he thinks he's got the flu lol

WHY IS THE DOG IN MILENNIUM TOWER?!?! WHAT THE FUCK KIRYU?!

Oh shit there's Kiryu oops guess he's not to blame for the dog

Question, how the fuck they gonna get down from the tower?

Oh my god okay it's done I'll clean this up later (spoiler alert, he did not clean it up later)

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #rgg #like a dragon #yakuza spoilers #spoilers #like a dragon 2007 #LAD 2007 #yakuza movie #ratwatchesyakuza #ratpunk posts

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 months ago

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y'know I find it so funny how (before hopefully I shut up about them for good), that like a month after I started at my old cadetship workplace back in 2022, they made me sit through a fucking 45minute [but I dragged it out for 2hrs trying to guess the perceived right answers they wanted] personality test that listed my top like 10 strengths, weaknesses and other skills to develop (eg one skill to develop was 'influencing and motivating' or whatever, one weakness was that i often act without thinking or something like that, and my obvious strength was writing).....

and like we had full meetings about my results on that test, and how it might "hinder or aid your (my) productivity" and bullshit like that..... but then they blatantly did fuck all to develop my influencing/motivating, or whatever the fuck that bs test called them skills. they fully ignored that I was a good writer, so they never gave me blog posts or social media posts or got me to write a newsletter article to do with the marketing team. the only VAGUELY writing oriented task I did was copy and pasting case notes from the social worker/tenancy support worker into an excel spreadsheet where I (probs illegally tbh) edited the spelling, grammar and other issues with the case notes bc some of the typos drove me insane tbh. for other things, they never developed or helped curb/develop in a more positive way for my weaknesses.... and just endlessly criticised me instead or never gave real constructive feedback to help me improve.

hell, i could've even helped write the case notes for tribunal for this one tenant we had committing centrelink (aussie social services) and rent fraud wouldve been great! but NO! even that was irrelevant to me, even though I sat directly between my team leader/manager AND rent review, who talked over me about it every fucking day for 3 months. we ended up backdating their unpaid rent 30k if you're wondering. like ok yeah. given this was a management and senior management issue, that was obvs too big for a trainee to be part of. but also! I'm DIRECTLY IN THE MIDDLE of the two people investigating it???? why won't you INCLUDE me???? when you talk over me about it constantly??? dumbass workplace. I swear to fuck.

and I only say this bc I scrolled past this one shitty asf recruiter yesterday on linkedin, who was all like "one whole reason, YOU PERSONALLY have an employment gap on your resume is bc the YOU took too long to be trained by a company and that's just tooooooo expensive and wasteful on company expenses 😥😭 consider that YOU created this problem and the company SHOULD NOT have to train you well enough to do the job!"

like joey. I was IN a TRAINING PROGRAM and the useless ass company I was at REFUSED to train me at all costs and then told me to get assessed for a learning disability/depression/anxiety, bc "you just cant learn fast enough"..... when I was LITERALLY SIGNED UP TO BE TRAINED.

this WAS NOT MY FAULT. there should be adequate onboarding practices and training provided in every workplace, but I was actively being denied it bc I wasn't the bitchy backstabbing type to get anywhere in that workplace. I did not take "too long" to get trained when they actively denied me training opportunities EVERY time I asked for them, by telling me that "thats irrelevant to you!" and "just accept that it's not in your journey with us 🤷🏻‍♀️😬" . fuck you and fuck the corporate overlords who think that training people properly and adequately is just "toooooo expensive and employees should train themselves for free/at their own cost". most esp in fields like social and community work that I was in.

this workplace just did NOT want me to develop and hone my skills in any way, shape, or form, really. they instead dragged me through a useless ass personality test and deliberately ignored my interests, strengths, and weaknesses to develop and then blamed me for "being too slow" and "can't you just teach yourself?? are you Special™️ bc you can't interpret the tenancy succession policy and tenancy software procedure on your own without explicit inperson direction????" they refused to walk me through complicated tenancy procedures and policies when they'd do it with every other new hire.

I did not "take too long be trained"..... when they just actively treated me as a useless intern my entire year there. so I might as well just act as a trainee the entire time and continually ask for help even though it pisses people off (besides the point the ONE TIME I tried to solve a call on my own in the dumbass fucking 2min call window (I usually took like 15mins lmao).... I got told off bc I didn't ask for the correct paperwork and evidence (power of attorney bc the lady just said 'I think my mum has dementia.... so I'm just taking over ALL of her accounts for her) all became they NEVER let me sit on a call and listen in on what the hell to ask for (ie a living skills assessment) because THEY REFUSED to give me training on it (and also I think they thought my cert IV in housing course covered this issue. it didn't).... so how the fuck was I SUPPOSED to just automatically and INTUITIVELY KNOW what questions to ask and what paperwork and assessments etc I needed from the client???? fucking bizarre. and to this day I still have no idea if my mentor/manager ever bothered to follow up and rectify the issue for me.

also, right before i left in 2023, they actively KICKED ME OUT of an external (but internally in the office) all day training session on home visits/inspections bc "oh we booked the whole customer service team by accident!!! we booked you in error. so delet yourself now from the training invite right now!" literally the DAY BEFORE the training was to happen. yet they let the new (at the time) cadet go. and yet, they lectured me all the time on my "poor time management" and "poor planning and timetable coordination" or whatever the fuck skills. like ok given that I left that week, so in a sense, that training would've been wasted on me. but also. you told me THE DAY BEFORE and not 3 MONTHS PRIOR (ie when they booked it in the calendar and invited me to it) thag I wasn't invited??? how am I the one with poor time management in this scenario???? fuck you. bc it was the only other external training they'd offered me other than child safety and mandatory reporting.... which is understandably mandatory in this field. WHY can't you spare me ONE FUCKING DAY of outside training??? like they even denied me fucking first aid and CPR???? which is also usually mandatory in this field. all bc "you'll be with someone whose qualified??? why should we bother putting you in CPR and first aid training???"

but yeah. fuck that useless as workplace and fuck recruiters which think people who have gaps on their resume are jobless bc "oh. you just take too long to be trained, huh? what a suck on resources YOU PERSONALLY must be for ANYONE to hire to successfully carry out any role!" and my point is, they even denied me BASIC mandatory training in things like cpr/first aid??? how the fuck was I supposed to excel and be trained here????

bc it also largely falls on companies who REFUSE an employee who was ACTIVELY a trainee adequate training for dumbass toxic workplace reasons.... and also blame employees for issues they CANNOT rectify... like the shitty government aged care call centre that I worked at in feb and march this year.... all bc my phone app (which is THEIR back-end tech issue) that I couldn't fix by simply turning a computer on and off again) was back connecting to calls ALL the time, which meant I couldn't take calls during my training weeks (only 6 weeks).

so they did call me a "drain on resources" because the people who I sat with actively took quality on my calls and were apparently put in like "off boarding" mode bc they weren't actively doing the job of taking at least 30 calls per an 8hr shift.... but instead assessing me for quality. so it's also shit employers in general. so I quit instead of being fired.

#life #about me #ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes #ilona's linkedin thoughts and woes lol #reasons i need to delete my LI acc or block LI on my laptop tbh #ilona's work thoughts #ilona's work dilemmas #im ibvs not im counting the 3 minths where i turned up late on purpose bc they kept refusing me adequate training and development opps #whats the point of coming in at 8:30am to be yelled at from that time till 5p. on the phone everyday????#when that was NOT the entirety of my job description and the cadet program????#i swear to fucking god #also they never directly called me 'special'to my face. BUT it was the undercutting tone of the question....#....when i was asked by a coworker whether i had a learning disability or not #like fuck off casandra i know we're close (ie this is the lady that i use as my referee as opposed to shit boss) ....#.....but yoy DO NOT need to ask me whether i have a learning disability or not as if its your fucking business

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scrapraptor · 1 year ago

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If theres typos..deal with it, im not proofreading. )

I fucking hate how autistic characters HAVE to be geniuses and a savant. (Cough good doctor cough big bang theory/young sheldon. )

It kinda creates a whole other stigma aside from just existing as an autistic person. They have all these bad character traits, they will make this character a fucking Nuisance, but the trait thats the redeemer is the fact that that character is extremely smart. And thats literally it. Theyre always depicted as a huge annoyance to people around them but then they SAVE THE DAY all the sudden cuz theyre sooooo smart and a genius. Im also tired of autistic characters always having to be overly modest all the time.

What about us dumbass autists? Where is my autistic bitchy bimbo? Wheres my autistic characters that obsess over video games instead of science. Where are my hollow headed autistics hm?

As a femme presenting and afab autistic adult with only a ged since i dropped out in my sophmore year, its a bit disheartening. Like , it just says "if youre autistic then you better be smart or youll be useless or a liability." And i already have to deal with being called a liability in real life due to my autism and chronic pain, why tf do we need that shit as a gag in a sitcom? And god. Dont even get me started on how they write autistic characters as grown up babies? The way the typical characters talk to the autistic character as if theyre in 2nd grade when they are a grown ass person. The inflections on the dialouge towards the autist souds so condescending and infantalilizing.

Tldr. People who dont have autism should never write autistic characters unless you have extensive and reliable research.

#autism #actually autistic

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imustbenuts · 1 year ago

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ff7r thoughts so far on the narrative between it and og (am also slightly drunk plus at wall market before the crossdressing scene so make of this what you will. also typos and all that lol this suntory STRONG ZERO is no joke)

im. super vibing with this so far

tifa's motivation in R makes sense and is less ambiguous than her PSX version. theres def restrictions in animation holding certain aspects of story telling back but she was always meant to be this supporting almost waifu like character to her. but in remake this is fucking chef kiss bc of how much they focused on how cloud is essentially a dumbass chuuni with a very uwu core that it makes every chemistry flow better

cloud is the mother fuckin otome protag and he doesnt even know it lmao

aerith too!! her cuckoo tendencies of being cute yet somewhat violent has always been there but here its just buffed and pushed forward. and i cannot stress enough that aerith is legitimately naturally cute AND airheaded enough shes so good ooogh people who like her have excellent taste. mad respect

and the turks get extra screen time that now suddenly makes sense why they were big in FF7AC. before that they've always looked like the random assassin class characters who pop up for no reason so im actually super happy for Reno and Rude.

too bad about what will happen in the temple bc HAHAHAHAAA lets see theres some fuckery going on with the ghostly owos that its hard to tell.

but most importantly

they're all funny and entertaining. they know despite the seriousness its important to laugh at shit and celebrate the flair of artistic fun and bursts and thats reflected in Wall Market. just amazed. so happy for the team for creating this. so much respect. wowe. i think in a way ff7 came from a very personal place to the og team who made this and thats just helping this remake team in fleshing things out. fuck capitalism, and yeah slums are still ultimately populated by people who also want to have fun. good.

anyway uh its kinda giving me gintama vibes. the whole underdog uprising and red light district disenfranchisement, plus the extra peppering of how capitalism and patriotism takes advantage of those passionate to serve the whims of the ultra rich to gain ever more profit

(the word patriot was surprisingly used and dropped in that one segment in sector 5 and heidegger. despite midgar being ultra capitalistic lol. and the upper plate going down to enjoy Wall Market reminded me of the real life place known as Piss Alley. the staples of alcohol and street food are in both too, except with waaay more yakitoris and less shumais + xiao long baos. good shit.)

i wish jp devs have more space to openly criticize their systems, their politicians and capitalism bc japan's politics and history are a goldmine of wild shit, and is far removed enough to many anglo speaking audiences that it can be introspective

11/10 so far choo choo

#nuts plays ff7r

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lemmilemura · 2 years ago

Text

Watching OOUIL

HEAVY SPOILER WARNING FOR LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SHOW I wrote down anytime I had important/sudden thoughts about stuff. Little warning, there is quite a lot of times I just simp over Simon, but what's new? There will be timestamps so you can go and look what happened to cause that reaction. Also since I was watching in one sitting and it was already past midnight and I was recovering from fever and tired and all that good stuff, towards the end and the last few episodes I didn't write down much. That is also the reason for the many, many typos xD I apologize

Episode 1

00:10 > literally just hearing Simon’s voice is already doing smth to me xD

00:22 > Simon honey I love you but that jacket was a CHOICE

00:50 > not the “I ship it” comment qwq

01:09 > god bronwyn's parents suck

01:26 > I only have my headphones on one ear and like Simon keeps talking and I never want him to stop xD

01:31 > Ah yes, the classic “ew our parents are kissing” teenager trope. just suck it up, Maeve

01:42 > i know, i know, i'm just being nitpicky, but Bronwyn’s phone says she had headphones connected? no she doesn’t

01:52 > if you ever see me smiling that wide while running, please assume I’ve been possessed, I probably have

02:02 > oh my god i can FEEL the sand in Copper’s shoes qwq

02:12 > Wildcats? isn't that like also a meme? like “What team? Wildcats!” idk I’ve only seen it a handful of times

02:46 > even if i hadnt read the book/had no idea what happens I’d still 100% know Cooper’s dad is gonna be an ass

03:21 > Addy is like, so naturally pretty qwq Girlie you don’t have to do all of this qwq I just wanna give her a hug man. And a gun so she can get rid of Jake. I’d help her hide the body too. Sorry, got a lil too into it there xD

03:28 > her outfit is soooo pretty tho I mean c’mon

03:44 > A bad love story? Like a… BAD ROMANCE?

03:47 > “Varsity skank squad” Damn Simon! Really going in on Addy, huh?

03:56 > the “well, you know” should NOT have affected me as much as it did xD

04:08 > Addy, remember that gun I talked about? Yeah, use it on your mom too while you’re at it

04:18 > god Jake is ugly. I’l sorry to any fans of his actor but damn. it really do be the basic white bois huh?

04:23 > you can see how uncomfy Addy is qwq

04:41 > “we’ll be quick” we get it, jake, you don’t last long

05:07 > TJ looks wise? no thanks. TJ being a dumbass? bonus points

05:10 > why does that chick look almost identical to Addy?

05:22 > Everyone wants to fuck a bad boy? Honey I want you. I mean if Simon isn’t a bad boy then what is he?

05:29 > “I’ve got so much dirt his probation officer is gonna bury him in it”? Simoooon, look at you with the metaphores

05:44 > Run bitch, ruuuuun! Or alternatively, “I’m fast as fuck boie!”

06:12 > God how I wish I was Janae right now……

06:17 > My god that shirt has a vneck… don’t be shy, take off the tshirt underneath…

06:39 > Lesbians?? In my tv show?? Fuuuck yeeeah!

06:45 > oh my god he’s wearing an earring… Quick, what’s the gay earring rule again? “Right ear means gay, eft means not gay but expressing feminine side” You heard it here first, folks, Simon is a secret Femboy xD

06:46 > these slowmo shottssssss I am living

07:16 > Simon, honey, that is such a bad idea to just have AboutThat open to anyone who flips open your laptop! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than this

07:21 > I would be looking at him the exact same way, Janae.

07:27 > The smirk,??????? HELLO?????

07:42 > I’ve said it a lot and i will 100% say it again, but DAMN Simon is just so pretty qwq Perfect actor choice 10/10

07:44 > “She can’t prove it’s me” This school probably has security cameras, yes she’d know it’s you. But then again, if the school did have cameras, they’d have solved the mystery waaaay quicker.

07:49 > I am never going to emotionally recover from this

08:19 > he literally has “cold blue eyes” like in the book and that’s what made me immediately fall for him in the first place!!!!

08:23 > What the fuuuuuuuck :0

08:39 > “There is is… that damn smile”

08:45 > Love that she wrote Avengers but from what I can see they’re all DC. Great job, teach

09:17 > Just noticed Bronwyn’s necklace and damn is it ugly

10:02 > Bronwyn never did make it to Debate…

10:16 > no but why is that kinda cute? the way he’s tilting his body like a kid qwq

10:19 > :0 this is where the book starts!! THE COLD BLUE EYESSSSS

10:32 > Is Simon…. shorter than Bronwyn? Or is it just her shoes?? omg is he shmol qwq

11:02 > The way hes sitting, twiddling his fingers, I just, I’m dying

11:05 > then again, there’s probably a lot going through his head, isn’t there?

11:16 > Bronwyn please just stfu. Avery will not believe you. I know, cuz I’ve read the book

11:27 > Isn’t Bronwyn supposed to be the smart kid? Cuz that wasn’t that smart

11:40 > I love his personalityyyyy so sassy

12:25 > he knew she’d say that… he knew…

12:33 > You can see it on his face qwq I hate this qwq

12:49 > Eggs instead of a carcrash? Weird choice but ok

13:17 > I mean he probably doesn’t have one so xD

13:18 > Nooooooo, he drank iiiitttt qwq

13:31 > It’s taking this long? How? Shouldn’t it happen immediately? Or is that cuz of the amount of water?

13:56 > Nooooooooooooooo qwq I can’t watch this, I’m just gonna start crying qwq

15:48 > I skipped ahead, I couldn’t watch that qwq Reading it is way easier than seeing it

15:54 > my god jake looks ridiculous xD

16:06 > Looked like he was dead? Honey he is!

16:27 > Keely is so pretty qwq

16:56 > They could 100% pass for a straight couple it’s wild

17:07 > Florence and the machine? Like FFXV Florence and the machine? :0000

17:17 > pffffff

17:41 > Bruh does she look okay? She just witnessed her classmate dying! She probably isn’t!

18:09 > He also has an earring?? dafuq

18:53 > Yeah it was!! Wait til you find out the backstory to it

19:00 > his side profile xDDD

19:15 > you can see the tension between hem, god damn

19:32 > Simon’s baaaaaag :0

20:28 > is he getting suspicious??

20:47 > how does her mother know? she a doctor or smth?

21:01 > god that “Bayview High School” could not look any faker xD

21:11 > Janaaaeeee qwq she needs a hug just as much as I do rn qwq

21:24 > The deathstareeeeeee :0 Janae

21:31 > Reading the book I never cared much for Janae, but actually seeing her so fucking sad and close to tears? It’s hitting

22:10 > QWQ I AM GOING TO CRY

23:32 > “Trauma bonding with Nate” I don’t even know this person’s name but I like their humor xD

26:41 > There is no way in hell they both look at eachother at the same time! That’s bull!

28:05 > That’s just creepy, man

28:40 > Sheetmusic? She plays an instrument besides piano? Huh

30:06 > Across the street you say?

30:24 > Okay, that was funny xD

31:13 > Nonnyyy, the icoonnn

31:49 > She iss!!

33:22 > STANLEYYYYYYY :DDDDD

33:38 > stanley is sooo judging him rn xD

33:44 > I forgot Stanley is his pfp xD

34:21 > she legit looks about 10 years older than him…

34:45 > Nuuuuuu Naaate :0

37:17 > Simon knows everything, Addy. Also TJ is such a sweetheart

39:31 > Ok, so, we watched the first 2 episodes in class a year ago and I fucking hate this part I get so much secondhand embarrassment so I’m sorry Janae but I’m gonna skip ahead

42:21 > Nooo, c’mon Nate! Don’t do this!

43:14 > oooooooooooh?

43:27 > Wait, so if Jake is in the pool he can’t have posted it, so it must have been Janae? If she had to write that my god poor girl qwq

44:43 > how tf did anyone get into the trunk? did she leave it unlocked? C’mon Bronwyn!

Total note count for episode 1: 96

Episode 2

00:37 > his hair is even more of a mess than usual xD

00:44 > Wait is this a flashback to when she cheated :000

00:49 > re really doesn’t

01:02 > please don’t fuck outside on the grass

01:07 > now THAT, is a view I really do not mind ;))))

01:5? > hair police? yours is literally the most basic hair ever, you have no right to talk

03:34 > shweeties

04:19 > is that a food truck right outside their school????

05:09 > yeowch

05:38 > the idea of Simon running a podcast, exposing ppl is actually a really fun concept xD

06:20 > not the contact name being “Asshole” xDDDD

06:55 > :00000000000000 Daaaaaaaaamn

07:36 > Nuuuu, Keely qwq babyyy

08:05 > i assume the teacher was turned around because that was so obvious addy!

08:20 > Bruh’s got a death note xDD he would be the type tho

08:56 > what was the notebook forrrrrrr Simoooonnn

10:00 > how tf did this random officer know that’s Addy?

11:58 > really? cmon now, thats so shitty xD

12:19 > more like Homiecide xD

13:42 > why tf is this mom reading AboutThat? xD

13:53 > HES THE MAYORS KID? Ooooh he got the moooooneeeeyyyy

15:02 > Addy……. qwq

16:09 > that was faaaaaast, coop xD

18:03 > :000000000000000

18:10 > Nooooooo, Coooooopppp qwq

20:52 > ok thats actuall kinda cute qwq can you imagine lil kid simon?

22:27 > Two late, two phone related detentions… interesting

24:07 > jis house is so prettyyyyy qwq I wanna live there!

24:16 > TINY SIMONNNNN OH MY GOD BABYYYYY QWQWQWQWQWQ

25:16 > Simon’s mom is fiiiiiiine, I see wher he get’s his good looks from xD

15:29 > Janaaaaaeeee qwq

26:26 > Simon in a suuuuiiittttt Lord have mercy!

26:38 > those fucking professionbal, model photographs xDDD

26:53 > How did she know where his room is? It’s a very very nice room tho, if I may

27:12 > wonder what that sign says…. also his bed looks nice! really comfy too :)

27:43 > look at that fucking setup man! daaaaaamn

27:50 > why is there fucking steps at the door??? xD

28:55 > can I just emphasize the fact his room looks so nice??

29:54 > yeeeeep he def got his looks from his mom, his dad is uglyy xD

30:11 > it would not, actually. not at all

31:25 > i dont think thats the best conversation starter, Maeve xD

32:08 > he did not go to hell! >:0

32:50 > A DRUMSET? AND A GUITAR????? HELLO WHERE IS THAT CONTENT?????

33:32 > Bronwyn can you stfuuuuuu you’re only making this worse

33:47 > atleast hes honest xD

35:07 > this house is so pretty qwq i am so jealous qwq

35:44 > “the incredible hair” pffff

37:56 > A, and I cannot stress this enough, WOOGA

38:59 > I’m gonna fucking scream he looks so goooooododdddd my lord i will not survive

41:22 > I am still not over that giant fucking picture of SImon in the background xD

42:46 > Girl the only thng you did was cheat ona fucking test it’s not the end of the wrld!

46:48 > since when are full names used? wasnt it just initials in the book? now this is just evil, initials multiple ppl can have, but full names? C'mon dude!

47:25 > MAEVE??????? WhAT THE FUCK???

Total note count for episode 2: 53

Episode 3

00:17 > Keelyyyyy babyyy I love her qwq

00:47 > shes such a shweety qwq

00:59 > another PERFECT OUTFIT 10/10 MY GOD

01:04 > I don’t even know what to say at this point

01:38 > he diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid :)

02:14 > no you fucking dont!

02:55 > Addy is entering her girlboss ear and I love that for her

03:33 > bruh please just use a hairbrush xD

05:20 > its goin down!! hands are being thrown!!

06:39 > addy needs a hug qwq

07:42 > :0 escandalo!

09:10 > they kinda look like siblings wait i love it qwq

11:42 > the laptooooppppp :0

14:51 > okay Janae’s outfits are also really nice, i get why they were bffs xD

16:08 > :00000000000 MAEVEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD

17:13 > why do literalyl all the parents in this suck?

17:39 > Addyyy what are you doing?

17:53 > Addy! No!

19:21 > TJ looks like a kicked puppy qwq

21:14 > you didnt say it but your face sure did

22:26 > and another perfect outfit!

22:29 > he just keeps getting finer, huh?

22:47 > Daaaamn Simoooooon! :0

22:56 > he looks so ethereal, like an angel or god of some sort :0

23:15 > omg Simon is shmol qwq shmol bean

23:33 > the rings, the bracelets, the necklaces, LORD HAVE MERCY PLEASE

24:20 > NOT NATE :00000 NOOOOOO

29:17 > i love that Addy is dressing for herself now qwq

30:26 > Nooo, Coooperrrr qwq

31:18 > i know that was meant to be all angsty and stuff but it just looked so weird xD

33:56 > Awwwww, Janaaeee qwq

36:13 > WHAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK :000 I mean same, but still, I was NOT expecting that

36:53 > :0000000000000000000 my exact face rn

37:39 > oh yes we are bronwyn!

38:19 > DONT DO IT COOPER PLEASE QWQ

40:45 > There he is again, in that amazing outfit!

41:05 > his faaaaaaaaace oh my god cooper you have a death wish or something?

42:36 > out of all the 4 stories, bronwyns is the most boring to me xD

45:21 > “straight cosplay” pffffff

Total note count for episode 3: 39

Episode 4

00:31 > his outfits never miss! they’re always so good qwq

00:41 > I love that he’S smaller than atleast 3 of the 4 others xD

01:47 > STANLEY! :D

03:20 > Janae with her hair down tho??????

13:33 > Stanley’s just listening in to all the drama xD

22:30 > how about Addy and Janae just get together? I would not complain xD

24:54 > “actual lizard” pffffff

26:13 > IT WAS JANAE???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO QWQ

39:22 > Mf looks like a goddamn cryptid xD

41:32 > oh my god hes PISSED you can see it in his faceeee

44:19 > Maaaaaaaaaeve what are you doing????

44:50 > Its momther!

Total note count for epsiode 4: 12

Episode 5

02:00 > if I was sitting in Bronwyns spot I would not be able to focus at all xD

03:20 > Yes addy!!!! Looking good! rocking the short hair!

06:36 > where tf?

13:43 > wtf Cooper???

18:28 > Bronwyn can you not be an asshole for one episode please?

19:02 > MAEVE WAS WHAT???? TO SIMON??? IM SORRY????

21:29 > Bronwyyyyyyyyyyyn whyyyyyyyy oh my god!

23:52 > they look like such lesbians and I am living for it

33:11 > and ANOTHER perfect fit from Simon, god damn!

39:52 > Please don’t leave Stan behind qwq

Total note count for episode 5: 10

Episode 6

01:07 > janaeeeeeeee that loooook I love itttt

4:31 > “then one summer he got abs” pfffff

04:52 > Janae gave him the idea?????

16:35 > Members of Simon’s what????

21:33 > Awwwww, wait, that’s so cute qwq I knew Janae couldn’t be straight when she dresses like that xD

22:03 > Their dynamic is just chefs kiss xD

22:26 > You can make a move on my anyday xD

33:10 > :0000000000000 NOW THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I EXPECTED TO SEE BUT I AM VERY MUCH WELCOMING IT

36:14 > why are they fucking burning the epi-pen?

37:16 > thats wierdly sweet qwq

37:29 > I know I’m just repeating myself at this point but Simon really does have the best outfits

37:48 > Ayooo? AYO???

38:37 > What if Janae, Maeve and Simon just get in a poly relationship? Problem solved xD

38:51 > His humourrrrr

40:00 > LESBIAAAAAAAAAAAAANSSSSSSSSSSS

40:25 > AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH

Total note count for episode 6: 16

Episode 7

09:08 > The lighting in all of these flashback Simon scenes is just so good qwq

30:32 > i would also 100% be zooming in on that xD

31:43 > that’s boat racism xD

31:47 > again, his humourrrrr top tier

Total note count for episode 7: 4

Episode 8

00:17 > I don’t want it to be over yet qwq I want more Simon qwq

03:06 > that is such a simple signature are you kidding me?

11:29 > I seriously need to calm down xD I can’t keep reacting like this any time SImon is on screen xD

11:41 > THE LIGHTING AND WINDOWS AND FRAMING AND OMG

12:08 > pfff the sheer “what the fuck” on his face xD

15:30 > AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH one day I will just die because Simon keeps looking that good!!!!

16:40 > do I even have to say anything anymore? like at all?

17:19 > “the magic words”? are you for real xD

25:39 > so him having a lizard is a reason you like him?

27:48 > lookatem with his fucking headset xD you know he streams and just annihilates little kids on vc xD

28:16 > wait so… Simon… didnt even want to kill himself? so really Jake is the reason this all happened…

41:30 > WHAT THE FUCK IS GOJNG ON?????

42:28 > So Jake… killed… Simon? Jake is the reason he’s dead, Simon didn’t want to kill himself Jake killed him! Holy fuck this is different than the book…

42:52 > God Janae looks TERRIFYING

43:24 > YEEEEEES JANAEEEEEEEEE KILL HIIIMMMMMMMMMM GET REVENGEEEEE

44:11 > I’m not even remotely sad about this. I’m happy, really

44:21 > I still cannot believe that JAKE is the reason… welp, I know what headcanons I’m making next

44:29 > …

44:42 > YES AND HE SHOULD HAVE

45:05 > I AM ACTUALLY CRYING STOP HE LOOKS SO TERRIFIED NO

45:35 > now you will cuz YOURE OTH FUCKING DEAD

50:58 > Now what if Simon actually didn’t die? Like imagine that, Jake’s plan all going to waste!

Total note count for episode 8: 25

Total note count: 255

Welp, there you have it xD I put them all together because posting one post for every episode or a pair of episodes, eventhough I'd have to split episode 1 in half, would just be too many notifications xD

So here you go, I hope you enjoy my thoughts while watching OOUIL. :D

#oouil #oouil tv show #one of us is lying #first thoughts #first time #first watch

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dear-tumby · 2 years ago

Text

just got out of a manic episode lol

yeah so im depressed now, no longer depresion haha funnys more like depresion no hahas and im pretty sure im scaring off my boyfriend so yeah, he stopped talking/hanging out with me when i was being honest about my feelings, like i was there when he relasped but i start talking my crazy shit and then suddenly mental illness is off the table??? whatever its not even like i like him or nothing like that. i dont understand why i do this to myself, this is just turning into a rant but ive been holding this down for so long it feels good to scream it out into the void that is tumblr yk? also like i drew on cut marks because it hurts less plus i can just wash that off, yk i do that a lot i put on makeup that made me look like i commeted suicide bc i was sad and suicidle(who would have gussed???) plus i just found this collage i really want to go to but no one belives i can do it and i act like that makes me wanna do it more but really it just shows how much people belive imma be a no body and im so scared im going to be suck here forever like my mom and dad. why does life have to be such a bitch like why do i always gotta screw up everything???? lke i have two boyfriends that care about me yet i want to date this girl thats never gonna love me back?? and when i say love i mean i actually love her so much and i cant talk about it because shell find out that im totally in love with her and shell flip out and distance herself from me and i need her shes my everything and if i don't have her in my life even just as a friend i think i need to switch schools again because that's what i always do, when shit gets rough go and hide because i cant handle all this shit and my parents are finally in a good place (mentally) and im gonna screw it up for them because ill stress them out by ignoring everyone and sleeping through meals and holidays and they'll yell at me because they don't understand and i don't blame them im a mess filled with self pity and gross tindencys so i cant have anyone love me truly because im so gross and i just want the felling of everything to stop, like i want to be so fucking happy that everyone thinks on on drugs, which i was on anti anxiety pills but then i felt nothing so i cut myself bu my dumbass was wearing white pants and my mom found out and yelled at me, and screamed and woke everyone up and my sibling still reminds me about it and every time he does i want to hold him down and beat the shit out of him, like does he even take my mental illness serously, does anyone??? are my parents just pretending to give a shit, at least my mom is, my dad cares for me but he just never says the right things, and i forgive him but i just want nothing to go wrong for once i just want everyone to stop. stop talking to me, stop trying to help but also ignoring my despreat cries for help doesn't make me feel any better and also i don't want to be lied toi want the truth even if it would hurt me yk? i don't know what i want, but i know it'd make me feel safe and happy and no long like everyone's trying to get me, i just want to have someone who'd look at all different sides of me and go "wow their awesome, and sure they do stuff i disagree with but there a good person who's gonna make it big and ill stand with them through thick and thin and its okay they have issues we all do and love every flaw" like im sure my boyfriend would say this but i don't want him to say it i want it shown i want to see and trust i can tell them anything and they'd stick around.

tldr: i was origanally posting this so everyone would know i didnt commet suicide but then it turned into a rant so, yah sorry, uh i read a really good south park fanfic so thats something good that happened, though it reminded me alot of me and me is my enemy rn so i was really angry but in a healthy good way, also thought my dad died but thats justsum good ol paranoia also sorry for all the typos, did ths on my computer at like 11:55 so im kinda half asleep

#tw vent #tw self destructive behavior #vent #but like #i missed tumblr #relationship problems?#im the problem #yipeeee #um #idk what tags to use #sh mention #$elf h4rm #but its not bad

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capyphoenix · 11 days ago

Note

Max seems very grumpy and down today. Which I think is partially because the media is just *stupid* and then you have Lando being a dumbass but I also can't help but think that Bitchy is of no help either. Being around her must be exhausting.

These British fucks been on him all day. Of course he's grumpy. Just read Crofty asked him 3 times who are people that support him. Don't get me started on Demon (not a typo) Hill. They are worried that it might not work out for their sweet British prince.

#capymax

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m1ckeyb3rry · 2 months ago

Note

LMAOOO THE PHOTOSHOP the dynamics are lowk almost giving fwtkac crew im crying

LMAOO WAIT OMG I REMEMBER WHEN THOSE WERE HUHE I’m blanking on the name but I fr remember people paying like hundreds to get like a video greeting from people…but anyways not yuki exposing Chris like that AHAHAHA otoya also can’t catch a break i love it it’s so funny

YES YUKI SHOW THEM HOW JTS DONE LMAOO the dynamic is so real Karasu and otoya being stupid like normal and yuki having to deal with their shit except this time he’s got like a 100ft metal rock snake to whack them with (bro this is just fwtkac reader thinking yukis hot and yuki putting everyone else to shame at first)

BABYS FIRST LOOK AT CORRUPTION I CANT but LOL I SEE RHE VISION anti training team x another way to read into the meaning of the x that’s so smart the celebrity crushes so real though actually now that you mention it I don’t think it’d be a pokemon au without one LOL I feel like almost everyone has one in the pokemon anime to some degree

Tabieita cannot be separated or changed destined to be closeted loser dumbasses in every universe

Ok this has me losing it I’m about to go watch an animal documentary to find out but after a quick search the only one I can find is ritual….and then behavior LMAO there’s some terms but it’s specific to a certain behavior like courting or wtv so…but yeah anyways DHHSHS no because I said the mediocre thing because it was kinda funny but my mind immediately jumped to that end of the world entry damn this scene has me in my feels imagine the moment mc fully explains the whole situation with Barou omg

LMAOO wait actually that’s be really fucking hilarious just casually “oh yeah hi I’m the champion of another region btw nbd”

LMAO the red black theme so true and those people in game who check your Pokémon’s happiness send me lowk I forgot they existed but imagine you get scammed by one of those two like an unlicensed therapist or something…POKEMON AU CRUISE EPISODE /j LMAOO it wouldn’t be pokemon without a getting trapped on a boat ep /hj STOP WHY IS THERE LOWK MAGIKARP READER ANGST??? GOODBYE “I dont regret saving you” it’s over for me guys but LMFAO imagine they’re all crying and mc and gyarados come back and they put the pieces together and karasus like “STARAPTOR WTF”

KUNIGAMI CHESNAUT SO REAL another vibe check approval wtf why does that fit so well ludicolo and Bachira too omg

LMAO KAISER wait it’s gotta be able to mega too so it gets that extra long Emo bang in front (imagine he has ness trim it too) but OOOOH Mikage gardevoir…Lowk makes me wonder if maybe they’d have a tradition where they give a ralts to their heirs to evolve into gardevoirs as they take on the company (imagine his face when he sees gallade)

BRURHH SAME yukis little “noa…” has me gone like GET HIM IN I’d be hopeful and say maybe he’ll get subbed in once noa steps back out but I have no idea if the last goal will be scored while noas still on field so…ok yeah I’m just taking it as a random PxG player then because I didn’t see anything LMAO BALD ON BALD VIOLENCE LFMSOSDJSOA im crying why’s that so funny

BRO I DIDNT EITHER??? Im wondering if maybe it got kinda fucked up when I copy pasted it into a different word file because I fr was reading through it adjusting like every other word (yukis was the worst maybe I channeled my inner yuki vision then) I fr don’t know how you read through it it fr must’ve been that wavelength connection (sorry to everyone else who might’ve read it too oops) ok but like the typos are like…you’d still be able to anagram them or understand what’s going on via context but reading through them KILLS me like just the acting reading through either an unfinished sentence a repeated word or some awfully autocorrected phrase made me die inside a little like if I were the one just reading it and not writing I would’ve closed the tab after the first sentence shdhskdhshs

Ok wait this is getting really long BUT OAEU SAE EDITION DROP OMG ok just generally that was really cute omg LMFAO sae first pinning the blame all on aiku like “yeah he’s the one with the problem not me tho dw” and Aiku flipping out like “bitch wtf I fw my coffee” and sae being like “sorry bro I forgot” (me) but BRO THAT COWORKER WHO RAT MC OUT I was ready to throw hands like bro read the room….aiku having to put up with saes whims is so funny he’s about to go through hell before he gets his own moment (like you said, karma LMAO) also mc being able to hold her composure for like, basically almost the entire time they interact is insane like props to her

The lab experiment text to sendou sent me LMAOO I’m crying the baby chick thing too and SAES INTERVIEW RESPONSE REVEAL LMFAOOOOOOOO I totally forgot about that the beef goes crazy and then y/n being “ummm I guessed?” SO DUMB LMFAOO aiku watching and listening like these two dumbasses HAHAHA the immediately auto rejection of the autograph has me reeling too and the phone call too “uhh Aiku said I should say this so” LMAO

another banger that was great and yk I don’t even care much for sae soooo

- Karasu anon

LMAOO okay wait you’re lowkey so right like tullia as fwtkac bestie is actually so valid (except instead of bestie x otoya and reader x karasu they’re all just siblings…unless tullia ends up w otoya instead of isagi/chigiri/hiori?? tbh i can see it because it would be a hilarious menaces to lovers slowburn to rival reader and nagi’s rivals to lovers but at the same time they’re also really good as just a platonic duo so idk)

NO LITERALLY i just think otoya as a fanboy is hilarious he WOULD be the one to get scammed into sending sm money to someone like that 😭 pls yukimiya has 0 chill he has no qualms about just telling otoya the truth straight up

pokémon au is actually yukimiya’s redemption for how much bullshit he has to deal with in normal blue lock 😰 his team is actually really really good too in a competitive sense (considering he used to be a battler — maybe even an elite 4 candidate — before his health got to him and he had to switch to contests) so karasu and otoya were double idiots for messing with him 😭 LMAOO omg this lowkey is fwtkac except instead of “who gets to be reader’s bf” it’s “who gets to be reader’s stand in older brother figure” HFKSJSK

there’s def going to be a lot of hints that the world/government are super corrupt but that’s one of the earlier ones!! i want the reveal about team x (not just barou’s involvement but also everything w the govt) to be a surprise but also to make sense ykwim 🤔 like one of those “how did i miss that” moments where it also completely changes how you look at the story upon rereading it!!

HELPPP IT REALLY ISN’T POKÉMON WITHOUT CELEBRITY CRUSHES originally i considered reader’s being chris prince but otoya’s being a prince stan is so funny that i think her liking luna is better 😭 maybe she mentions it to nagi offhandedly before either of them get to the seventh gym and he’s like “huh cool 👍” (he himself does not have any celebrity crushes…it took him long enough to realize he has an ACTUAL crush on reader he’s never going to realize he likes a celebrity) and then manshine trio manages to get to luna’s gym before reader and co?? and when she challenges luna he’s like “you’ll have to give me a day bro my last challenger absolutely crushed my team” and reader is like “oh who was it” and luna’s like “this white haired freak with a crazy strong reuniclus and an arcanine” (since poison is weak to psychic so reuniclus stomps most of them and then roserade/scolipede’s secondary types are weak to fire so arcanine packs them up rq) and reader’s like NAGI??? because nagi usually doesn’t put too much effort into gym battles but he had to lock in this time (he claims he “didn’t have a reason” but we ALL know the truth…) okay wait also if we go the tullia and otoya route imagine she’s fangirling over loki and otoya’s like “he’s not even all that 😒” but he doesn’t know WHY he’s mad he just. is mad. LMAOAOA

okay i guess it must have been ritual?? HAHA that makes sense anyways 😭 or maybe custom idk it’s been a while since i watched any nature docs 😩 but agreed the whole barou second death sequence is sooo painful especially because reader doesn’t know it’s not actually him?? i think afterwards isagi will be the one to tell her everything about barou’s illness and maybe they sent barou to ego and anri for an autopsy and isagi reveals that barou was already dead and what she killed was a ghost pokémon…which is kind of a relief in one sense because it means she didn’t kill him herself but it’s also so crushing because it means there was never any chance that she could save him as he’s been dead the whole time 😓 i feel like reading the story with that knowledge would be crazy too because if you think about it the ACTUAL barou basically haunts the narrative the entire time (literally the only times we see him are in flashbacks w the reader or this one arc where she and nagi go through old tapes of barou’s battles) it gives it a very weird feel knowing that reader is chasing after someone she can never catch

SPEAKING OF CHASING I CAME UP WITH THE NAME OF THE STORY!! it’s in the notion outline ss I posted which i’m sure you saw but at least for now i’m calling it pursuit which is a double meaning!! on the one hand reader is in pursuit of barou but pursuit is actually also an egg move of houndoom’s and i think reader’s houndoom will have it (not barou’s though he’ll have some other thematically appropriate egg move)!! there will be two main times she uses it: the first is in her first battle with nagi, when his growlithe gets scared and he just gives up and is about to return his growlithe when she tells houndour to use pursuit (pursuit does more damage if the opposing pokémon is about to be returned) so that growlithe stays in battle while she yells at nagi to grow up and actually be a trainer (this sets him up to be a rival as well as subtly hinting that he’ll be the love interest since the title is referenced in their first meeting) and the second is in the final confrontation against barou after she’s won against his houndoom; barou attempts to flee but reader orders her houndoom to use pursuit on him and since it’s a pokémon houndoom is able to drag him back and kill him with that move!! idk it just felt like a simple but v fitting title hehe…also i’ve started planning arcs out and i’m pretty sure this bad boy is going to be HEFTY (as in ten arcs planned and reader still only has four badges, has only just gotten her magikarp, and just learned what team x’s purpose even is) DJDJSJJS when i was writing ship in the harbor each arc was roughly 25-30k words but i don’t THINK they’ll be as long in this story?? however that should give you a general planned word count for the au and suffice to say: 😱

HELPPP YK WHAT I BET OTOYA GETS SCAMMED BY THEM like “wow your eevee is really sad if you want an umbreon buy these special uhhh potions just from us” and ofc otoya wants an umbreon so he shells out even more money meanwhile his eevee is standing there the whole time staring at him like 😍🥰☺️ because it loves him sm HFKSDK and then tullia looks at the potion and is like “yup you got scammed again” and karasu’s like “fucking idiot this is why my sister would never want you 🤣🫵🏻”

YES MAGIKARP + READER ANGST i think it not only characterizes reader but also makes the pokémon feel like parts of the plot instead of just devices?? especially because the whole theme of the story is answering aiku’s research question of whether or not pokémon can feel familial bonds!! and PLEASE that’s exactly how i envisioned it like reader pulls up to the beach where everyone’s sobbing and she’s like “damn who died” and karasu’s like “you 😢” before he pauses and is like WHAT THE FUCK…poor staraptor was doing its best 😔 karasu def puts it in timeout though LMAOOO even though it didn’t technically report anything incorrect ☝🏻

i think assigning pokémon to characters/people is like my true calling i only spit out bangers LMAOAOA jkjk but fr chesnaught just fit kuni so well!! and ludicolo having that whole fun silly dancing vibe to it really matched bachira’s freak…YES EMO KAISER + EMO ABSOL THAT’S EXACTLY THE VIBE I WAS GOING FOR i think the e4 candidates (besides isagi since he cameos earlier) will make their first appearance in reader’s fight against mr mikage and it’s just them in the stands so kunigami is sitting with his arms crossed all intimidating with his chesnaught beside him but maybe he smiles at reader when she glances over?? and ofc bachira waves and his ludicolo does a little hop in acknowledgement or smth meanwhile kaiser and absol are just sitting there, kaiser’s chin in his hand, staring off into the distance like 😒 because he cannot stand the thought that reader might one day be his boss (he also can’t stand the thought of mr mikage being his boss he’s just a hater in general tbh)

okay wait yess maybe mega gardevoir is like the mikage family sigil?? and although we made a goofy backstory for gallade maybe the actual way it evolves is reo finally choosing to break free of his father’s legacy when he starts to suspect him of being involved in team x affairs…mr mikage is HORRIFIED by the gallade ofc but reo’s like “he’s my pokémon leave him alone 😡” and there’s a whole confrontation about it (which is obv more serious than that random line i just dropped)

i’m sobbing for yuki he def deserved better than what he got…imagine being benched and igaguri gets put in before you that’s a justified crash out fr (rough and tumble yukimiya would NEVER let this slide) 😭 agreed unless they show otherwise i’m going to assume it was some random french dude!! PLSSS THE BALD JOKES ARE HILARIOUS TO ME they’re like a coping mechanism

it definitely must be some issue with file transferring or something because i’m being 100% serious i didn’t notice ANYTHING that bad!! you can search through the “karasu anon translations” tag on my blog to see if what you sent me is that same as what you have on your phone…one of my mutuals also has a post with links to all of the yukimiya ln translations so i can send that if you don’t want to dig through the tag to check!!

YESSS OAEU SAE VERSION DROPPED 🤫 tbh ik most people probably found it ooc but I PERSONALLY was cracking up while writing so i don’t even care…like i said in response to someone else’s ask if people can make sae a smooth flirting fboy then i can make him a dumbass loser with 0 rizz!! and is it unrealistic that he had a first crush so fast MAYBE but it’s so so funny to think that that’s how he’d act plus the whole point of the oaeu is that it’s meant to be like a series of rom coms!! so nothing is supposed to be elegant or believable it’s just goofy yk 🤔 now if people think that that’s the extent of my writing skills i’ll have an issue (and tell them to read karasu’s bfb/pomegranate ink/hollyhock) but on the whole i think it’s fine if i’m a little silly every now and again (esp given the angst of the upcoming pokémon au)

ALSOOO agreed sae is just not a character i rlly care about bruh if i had my way i wouldn’t even have written him first (barou would’ve been the way to go) but the people spoke so i had to listen 😓 that def also impacted how i wrote him because normally i’m meticulous abt cross-referencing the wikis and whatnot but this time i was just like eh whatever people have read worse for this man i’m sure 🤷🏻‍♀️

PLS y/n is so trained in the art of customer service that she truly cannot be forced to snap 😭 i need that queen’s composure she’s better than me for sure…i loved writing both her and aiku’s perspectives though because they’re both hilarious in opposite ways 😩 and LMAOOO justice for aiku fr he’s about to be put through so much before he finally gets his own universe where he can get the girl 😓

#answered asks #pokémon au

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sunstranded · 5 months ago

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INTJ: Intolerance of the Intellectuals

I want to summarize it with the word elitism, but there is more nuance and directness with the title I've given this. Nothing should be attractive about this. Nothing should be left on ambiguity. I present a problem and I present it as it is.

Disclaimer: this is more of a rant than anything formal. I just speak very formally. Like the stereotypical INTJ that I am with my multiple typos and blind Si.

Elitism has a lot of dangerous ambiguities that I don't want to deal with but I still mention it because it is the easiest and most recognizable term to capture the subject.

I just want to specify that the intolerant here are the intellectuals— including me and anyone who had a formal way of instruction or education.

Just like most things I bitch about I'm not above it and I am part of the people who I want to change.

I can no longer bear the snickers, giggles, hushed comments— laugher— amusement— fascination— any reaction that assumes or imposes judgement upon people who are just different.

It is uncomfortable to twist the things we find comfortably familiar into something disturbingly different. But it is necessary and there is a reason we're uncomfortable.

It is necessary to be uncomfortable because you are trying to undermine your familiarity to understand someone else's. In trying to understand, you must make peace with not convincing them and enforcing your beliefs as if it were the absolute. There is a reason in this uncomfortable feeling as we do this— it is because we've been so comfortable and familiar with agreement, with people just agreeing to avoid conflict— unjust compromise.

It is unjust on the grounds that someone had been forced. Why else? The intolerance of another seems more dangerous than their own ignorance continuing on.

People who have been reduced to ignorance and complience out of aversion to conflict are victims of havung felt like they're the helpless dumbass, the lowest of the low— the irredeemable idiot— when all they were was incorrect.

Being incorrect is as inevitable as being correct. Nothing is wrong from being ignorant. And let us stop pretending that people consciously want to stay ignorant. Let us stop pretending the ideologies and information we tend to enforce on people silences them into blind obedience— a special form of ignorance.

They want to be happy in ignorance, people would say. Though there is pleasure in it, if all you seek is pleasure and all you get is pleasure, is that not just a special kind of pain?

Elitistism does not quite capture the nuance I want even if it is what I am talking about. That word itself implies that an elitist only wants to keep the elite. However, they also ensure that the non-elite cannot be more than they are.

In other words, intolerance of the intellectuals has an implication that intellectuals are doing more than exclusion or being their own closed off class. No. Intellectuals also play a role in disenfranchising or even oppressing the ignorant.

Ignorance I speak of is the type where they could not have known. Because the willful ignorance of turning a blind eye despite knowing is just intolerance of the intellectuals again.

A quick anecdote:

I was asked why I still travel so far to where I go every day. Why not just live closer? They ask. I always answer that there are people who live farther than me. Others would suggest why not get a license and car. It'll be easier. I say, I am conscious that if I own a private vehicle, I become part of the heavy traffic problem, so in good conscience, I will always opt out. I'd rather suffer and understand others for having walked their steps swept every sweat they've also perspired than let myself speak for the pain I do not let myself experience. It is not chivalry, it's logic manifesting in human decency.

Let us reflect if our observations, conceptualizations, and understanding uphold intellectual humility and intellectual integrity. Let us not mistake those for pride and prejudice.

#mbti #intj

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call-sign-shark · 1 year ago

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Brummie! I am finally able to comment this properly. I am deeply sorry for the delay, I've been having some mentally busy weeks and when I had a bit of free time I fell asleep like a grandma shark tsk. But here I am and be ready for a comment filled with non-senses and typo 'cause I am excited about this final chapter. Before digging into a more detailed analysis let me tell you that you've blown up the park with this fantastic story. I thought nothing could outmatch your first story but Hopelessly Devoted is one of the best works I've ever worked on. Not only in terms of pure literary style and plot but also at your impressive mastery of angst balance. This finale chapter was a real delight, an exquisite final for this incredible romance I've felt in my guts. Congratulations darling, you got me all astounded as always. Be sure I'll read the teaser of Don't Fear the Reaper asap teehee.

Now, when I say your writing skills are gold, I truly mean it. One of the best examples I've picked up while reading was the line "You had desperately kept the small bouquet alive for as long as you could, afraid that the sentimental gesture and the meaning behind it would die along with them." This is such a wonderful and clever way to dig deeper in Y/N's mind, who is still very much clinging to her memories of Tommy but is still conflicted about whether or not his apologies are true after everything she has been through because of him. The fact she's trying to keep the bouquet alive as long as she can is both heartbreaking but also echoes how she has always been the one devoted and trying to fix their relationship until Tommy pushed it too far. The love you've created between these two is delightfully complex and full of suspense from the beginning to the very end. Each time they are together I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for them to kiss or either tear each other down. I must say I was surprised she thanked him (and even more surprised to hear this dumbass admitting he has been crossing the line with her). Their reunion was insanely sweet, with Tommy's line "What other woman in Small Heath let alone the whole country likes a bouquet with only three flowers eh?" THE WAY I MELTED.

Now, I must say I laughed so hard when Arthur decided to intervene and ruined everything, even if he was convinced he helped them. What an adorable idiot, I swear. He has locked the two of them up in the freakin' closet, just like when they were kids.😂 I am fond of the way you've mirrored the two scene, the first time being the discovery of sexuality and feelings, the second one being two grown up suffocating because they are too big for the closet and fighting because of past arguments. This was genius (and hilarious, with the "you're squishing me! // my hair's stuck!"). "The very same assets Tommy wished he had never mentioned now your elbows were digging into his chest." Come on Tom, that wasn't very smooth of you! 🤭 I must also admit that the whole passage of Y/N talking about how Finn convinced everyone her mother was a witch and that Father Wells was asked to cleanse her killed me. The moment they started to make out I was cheering so bad for them, once again I'm a slut for the mirroring scenes and I love how the innocent discovery of the first time become now coated with urging desire and passion. However, I felt Tommy would say something stupid and would ignite a quarrel between the two. In truth, I understand the two points of view. I mean he literally said that as a compliment and we all know how clumsy he is with feelings, but at the same time Y/N's reaction was right. I mean, she must has thought "okay you were thinking about me but still fucked another girl bro".

All Hail to Aunt Pol who's coming to save the day! My poor little Arthur was so proud of his stupid idea, like "How was I supposed to bloody know, I've been in London haven't I. I can't keep up, their spats change with the bloody wind!." I DIED. Poor baby, he was just trying to help even if he doesn't understand a damn thing LMAO. Honestly, I nearly choked at Polly calling her nephews "halfwits". I didn't know this idiom and I swear to God I'm in love with it. 😂

Finally, let's talk about my favorite part of this whole chapter and maybe of this whole series: the scene between Y/N and Arthur. From the very beginning, I've been in love with the beautiful tribute you've done to the character in your way of portraying him: charming, funny, adorably dumb, and supportive while not forgetting about his dangerous nature. Right from the start he has been Y/N's greatest ally and this last scene between the two of them is the high point of their relationship. His body language for example, and the way he steals her apple to eat it without asking is so big brother-coded, I'm turning into a puddle. "Ay, come on you" he sighed putting his arm around your shoulder as he watched your white linen tablecloth blow in the gentle afternoon breeze." This. My tears started here, with that magnificent picture of the two of them and Y/N's lulled by Arthur's sweetness. I love how he's kinda defending his little brother but still gently trying to make Y/N understand that they are made for each other and that it would be a mistake to forget about Tommy. Also this

"Please, put us out of our misery ay. I don't think I can do another five bloody years of this. He said as he squeezed you into his side rubbing your arm up and down like he was trying to start a fire with his bare hands" first: he's so freaking funny I can't, second: the rough love, I'm dying, and third: I could almost feel the friction of his large and calloused hands. Seriously Brummie stop that, I'm already too obsessed with him and you're not helping with the way you've written him. 😭 Similarly, what followed equally filled my heart with warmth as well as made me cry. Let me tell you that I'm sorry for your loss. It ain't the same but I lost my 16-year-old cat two months ago, he was the sweetest, nicest, and cuddliest cat. Still, now I can't talk much about him without crying. So, I send you all my love your way. This is such a heartwarming and beautiful tribute you've paid to him. In truth, I'd would paste all the passage if I could but it would be too long so here are some of my selected moments:

Gave him some leftovers few weeks back, now he won't leave me alone. Gangly looking thing ain't he? All legs and big ears" // " Bit like you then. No wonder you get along"

"Arthur said jumping off the wall putting his hand out for you to take as you both made your way through the alleyway, hopping over the puddles as you both giggled like two children making their way home before dark, the welcome heat of the fading sun beaming on your faces." >>>> ME:

I would have loved to comment on so many other things but I'm afraid it's already a bit too long and boring lmao! Quickly: I wasn't expecting Tommy to have a talk with Y/N's mother and I must say that I was positively surprised at how it turned. Also, I've already said it in the very beginning of my comment but the ending is absolutely touching and perfect. "He may not have shown it how he'd intended to do to, but he had always, and would always be, hopelessly devoted to you. " THIS. The ref to the title, how he has been the one who was really devoted despite being an idiot... Brummie, that was a masterpiece. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and I'm ready for a new adventure, which I know is going to be as brilliant as this one!.

PREVIOUS PART

Hopelessly Devoted (PART SEVEN/ FINAL CHAPTER)

Summary: After Tommy's apology you find yourself back at Watery Lane with the intention to thank him for the flowers he had left you when the eldest Shelby brother unintentionally breaks a tender moment in a bid to help reunite you both, doing more harm than good. Will you and Tommy finally rekindle your strained relationship or is all hope lost?

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, smut (Minors DNI)

Authors note: In this final chapter there is a small cameo from a four legged darling dear to my heart. My dog. A few weeks ago my sweet boy passed away at the old age of thirteen. This way my way of saying goodbye to him through the words of our dear ol' Arthur.

Walking down Watery Lane a feeling of hesitancy overcame you. You never thought you'd step back onto this street, not after you and its most infamous resident who just so happened to be the man you had been hopelessly devoted to for the past five years had a blazing row in front of everyone in the very same spot only a few weeks ago. But here you were, and as you eyed up the betting shop in the distance a ball of nerves started to bounce unforgivably around in the pit of your stomach making you feel less than confident about your descion to turn onto the notorious road. You couldn't quite pinpoint why you felt so anxious, you was supposed to be hating the man who had broken your heart more times than you cared to admit. But since that day when he had unexpectedly turned up at your front door, since he had willingly admitted to his wrongdoings, since he had left the posy of flowers on your bedsit stairs that were sitting in a vase on your kitchen table resembling a rather miserable bunch of weeds than the sweet handpicked arrangement of foliage he had left for you, something had changed. You had desperately kept the small bouquet alive for as long as you could, afraid that the sentimental gesture and the meaning behind it would die along with them. Was it a fluke? Did Tommy mean every word he had said? You thought to yourself as you approached the door with the intention to thank him for the flowers and the phone call he had placed to the manager at the Post Office in regard to the job interview he had for all intents and purposes, sabotaged. Admittedly, after everything he had done and put you through he didn't deserve a thank you let alone one in person. But in a turn of events and unexpected forgiveness on your part your anger towards him suddenly didn't hold weight any more. You found yourself wanting to see him, wanting to be near him as if the past five years hadn't happen, as if this was the very moment you had been desperately holding out for.

" Is Tommy about?" You asked as you walked into the busy betting shop. Monaghan boy was set to race later that day and half of Small Heath had scrambled into the small converted terrace house eager to place their bets on what was set to be the biggest race of the month, one Tommy had undoubtedly fixed in his favour of course. With no answer and not one single Shelby in sight you headed behind the curtains and made your way up the old rickety staircase. It had been so long since you had ventured up to the second floor of Watery Lane. But even now you still remembered where and where not to step on the creaking wooden steps from the countless times Tommy had sneaked you up to his room to spend the night. And just as you did all those years ago you found yourself biting your bottom lip in anticipation that at any moment Polly would shout down from the top of the stairs at Tommy to stop corrupting any innocence you had left, the memory of the days when your biggest worry was not getting caught making your stomach fill with a youthful fluttering of butterflies you never thought you'd experience again. " Tommy?" you called out as you stood in the hallway when you turned your head to the sound of his bedroom door opening.

"Hey" he said putting his head through his white under shirt, pulling his suspenders over his shoulders as he walked out into the landing. It was nine in the morning. Tommy was known to get up at the crack of dawn, had he just woken up? "Had a lie in" he said, surprised by his own omission as he reached for his back pocket for a cigarette. " First time in years" he added placing it between his lips as he lit a match. First time in five years to be exact or to be even more accurate, the third time since he had turned up at your place. Tommy had, for the first time in years slept the whole night through. His worn body aching for the extra time he had let himself have, for the time you had let his restless thoughts unburden themselves of the regret and guilt he had been carrying around for the past five years. Shaking the flame from the small stick of aspen he looked over at you, a faint smile playing on the edge of his lips at your flustered face. Flustered was an understatement, you looked like a dear caught in headlights. Not only was you mentally unprepared to see him half naked after all these years, you couldn't remember the last time you saw him so...relaxed. You had become so accustomed to his usual tightly wound up demeanour that he had unexpectedly caught you off guard making you loose track of what you had planned to say.

" Is everything alrig..."

" I wanted to say thank you" you blurted out cutting him off as Tommy furrowed his brow in surprise.

" Thank you? For what?" he said stepping closer as your eyes briefly darted up to meet his before returning to look at the floorboards beneath you. You felt like a teenager again, and like any teenager standing in front of whom they believed to be the love of their life, the nerves currently coursing through your body seemed to have stopped any previous ability you had to talk let alone think. You had become a fumbling mess, and it hadn't gone unnoticed.

" Y/N?" Tommy said as he ducked his head down trying to catch your line of sight when you failed to elaborate.

" For the post office job" you replied as he looked down at you watching him roll his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger.

" You would have had that job if it wasn't for me" he acknowledged, exhaling a cloud of smoke up to the ceiling.

" And for the flowers" you said finally making eye contact as you lifted your head.

"Flowers..." Tommy replied, suddenly remembering the small bouquet he had thrown in a panic after seeing, was it Harry or Henry? God, the date was such a bore you still wondered if the whole evening had be a figment of your imagination.

" Oh fuck..Tommy they weren't for me were they? I just thought with the note, with the .." you trailed off into a incoherent mumbling of words you and nobody else could understand as you covered your eyes and turned for the stairs. Your humiliation never ceasing to make itself known by your increasingly reddened cheeks.

" Y/N wait" Tommy said grabbing your arm stopping you and your attempts to flee the awkward situation." Of course they were for you" he smiled as his hand rubbed up and down your arm in a bid to reassure you. "What other woman in Small Heath let alone the whole country likes a bouquet with only three flowers eh? " he chuckled trying to ease the pressure that had suddenly encapsulated you both.

" I do" you said as you looked up into his crystal blue eyes, finding yourself slowly getting lost in his gaze.

" You do" he smiled closing the gap between you both as his thumb came up and tenderly brushed along your check. " I should have given them to you in person" he said as he cupped your face, your fingers finding their way up his chest, turning one of the buttons on his cotton shirt as you looked up at him through your lashes. Apprehensively leaning into you, Tommy's lips ghosted over yours, his thumb still stroking gently against you skin as you both waited for the other to make the next move when a heavy footed second Shelby came stomping up the stairs breaking the long awaited moment between you both.

" Right. I've bloody had enough of this I have" Arthur said as he stormed up the stairs, throwing open the closet door next to you, pushing you both inside and locking it before either of you had the opportunity to react." 'Bout time you both sorted out..." Arthur said as he waved his hand in front of the door, his face scrunched up in deep concentration as he tried to look for the missing word. "... well, whatever this is" he finished as he nodded his head, satisfied with his spontaneous plan of action, one he would later learn did more harm than good.

" Arthur open the fucking door! " Tommy shouted as he rattled the handle, the distant sound of his brother whistling merrily as he made his way down the stairs only infuriating his efforts.

" Did you set this up? " you snapped stood back as you shook your head, a scowl settling on your face as the tender moment you had both shared mere minutes ago started to fade into what was set to be another match of bickering. This is definitely something those two little shits would have conjured up. You thought to yourself as you glared at the only other person in the cramped space, all your anger now directly aimed at him.

" Me?" Tommy scoffed as he reached into his back pocket pulling out his pack of cigarettes only to find he had already smoked the last one. " Only that daft bastard downstairs could have thought of doing something like this" he huffed throwing the empty carton on the floor as he leaned against the door.

" Well.." you said motioning behind him.

"Well what?"

" Aren't you going to get us out of here?" You replied moving him out the way as you gestured at the lock when a small laugh caught in his throat.

" I've gone legitimate darling" Tommy said as you crossed your arms furrowing your brows. " My lock picking days are over" he reiterated as he leaned back against the door giving into the situation he's idiot brother had put you both in. There was no way of getting out of this, not unless you had a spare key hidden in that ample cleavage of yours that was now pressing against his chest. Tommy thought to himself as the temptation to look down was almost too much for him to refuse.

" Pull the over one Tommy" you frowned rolling your eyes at his chilled state. Anyone would think he was happy about this, and to some degree he was.

" So what do we now?" you said as you moved back the few centimetres between you and the metal shelving behind you, shifting your arms back and forth in attempts to put some space between you both.

" Well, I'm guessing we wait" he said as his eyes darted around the dark room that looked suspiciously like the one you had both found yourselves in ten years ago.

" Fuck sake" you mumbled under your breath as you looked up at him, still convinced this was his doing. "You're suffocating me, move back" you sighed blowing the lone strained of hair in front of your face away from your eyes as Tommy let out a loud huff in response, silently cursing his brother for managing to ruin the very moment he had been envisioning for the past five years, and your lesser than pissed off mood with him.

" Tighter squeeze than it was ten years ago" he said as he cleared his throat, a cocky smirk playing on the corner of his mouth.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" you asked, daring him to say what you already knew he meant as you crossed your arms in front of you, forming or rather forcing a barrier between you both as Tommy grunted at the sudden impact, your own subdued by the cushioning of your assets. The very same assets Tommy wished he had never mentioned now your elbows were digging into his chest.

" I'm only teasing Y/N" he surrendered, a sudden sense of seriousness over coming him after seeing the frustration rising in your face at the unexpected predicament. In any other circumstance he would have been more than happy to be stuck in a closet with you again. But the scowl on your face said enough for him to not worsen the situation with any more jokes. Instead he attempted to change the mood with a different subject of conversation and break the awkward silence that had descended on you both. " Your mum keeping well?"

" My mum?" You laughed, surprised be the very question you thought you'd never hear leave his lips considering their mutual despise for one another. " Well thanks to you she had a visit from Father Wells"

"From St Mary's ?"

" Yeh. Oh, didn't you know? She's been named the wicked witch of Small Heath" you said as Tommy furrowed his brow in confusion. " You told Finn she was a witch. Finn told every living person he could find, which caused a small gathering of panicked old ladies to demand Father Wells pay her a visit and cleanse her mind, body and soul of evil" you said as Tommy let out a scoff of a laugh at the idea his tall tale had caused quite the commotion with the senior citizens of Small Heath. "Anyway" you said letting your own amusement slip in the form of a small giggle as you looked around the room, a sight Tommy never got tired of seeing, his fingers itching to trace the curve of your smile, desperately wanting to repeat the broken moment you had shared.

" Have a look in there for something, to pick the lock with " Tommy said clearing his throat as he nodded towards the small box precariously sitting on another large stack of cardboard boxes in attempts to snap him out of his day dream your small giggle had let him wander in to. Manoeuvring your arm between the tight squeeze of your bodies pressed together you looked through the small box pulling out a book on the poet " Sir Edmund Spence" as you turned to face Tommy with a look of confusion on your face at the strangest discovery you had ever made in the Shelby home.

" Arthur reads, apparently" Tommy said, as you turned your head back to the box of items, a smile on you lips at your endearing affection for the eldest Shelby and his ever growing list of new hobbies when you leaned forward and a sharp tug on the back of your head had your wincing in pain.

"Great... My hairs stuck" you whined reaching behind your head trying to loosen your locks from the metal shelving pushing into your back. " Tommy! My hairs stuck!" You reiterated, when he didn't automatically jump to your add.

" Bloody hell. Stay still" Tommy said as he reached behind you pressing his chest into your face.

" You're squishing me " you said looking up at him as his eyes stayed fixed on the task Intrusted to him. With his attention else where you took the opportunity to take in every small detail of his face you had been missing for the past five years. Each freckle you used to spend countless hours counting when he'd sleep, his long lashes every girl south of Sparkhill envied, his plump lips that..."Ouch" you shrieked when he pulled harder than expected on your recently coiffed locks.

"Do you want my help?" He replied cocking a brow as he continued to unhook your hair from the shelf you had managed to get it knotted in.

"Just pull it out" you huffed wriggling in place.

" Fuck sake Y/N, I would if I could but it's stuck. If you'd stop bloody moving I'd be able to slide it out"

" Tommy..." you whined getting progressively inpatient as he loomed over you, increasing the already stifling heat your two bodies had managed to create in the small cramped space.

" Keep that whining up and you'll attract the rats"

" What rats?!" You yelped as your eyes darted around the room when Tommy finally unhooked your hair and sent you a wink, your face quickly dropping from a panicked wide-eyed stare into a small smile. Thank god you fell for that one, Tommy thought to himself. Watery Lane had become a new home to half the rats of Small Heath no thanks to Finn and his adamant goal on training them to do tricks for the small rodent circus he envisioned them performing in, much to Polly's dismay.

" Thanks" you said smoothing down your hair as Tommy moved his hand around from behind your head, his fingers lingering on the side of your cheek as he brushed the few whispers of hairs away from your face.

"Y/N..." He sighed cupping your cheeks in both his hands as you stood there patiently waiting, expecting him to pick up where things had ended out in the hallway. Had he lost his nerve? What was it about closets that always had this man lost for words? Either way you was not going to wait any longer to find out.

" Fuck it" you said pressing your lips to his as Tommy instantly dropped his hands to your hips pulling you closer into his hold.

" I've missed you" Tommy mumbled between breaths not wanting to part with the embrace any more than essentially necessary, the intensity of the moment catapulting you both back ten years as if you was kissing for the very first time. And just like all those many moons ago the years of suppressed need and desperation for eachother was making itself known quickly, very quickly.

" Tommy please..." You breathed heavily against his mouth as you pulled his suspenders down his arms, both lost in the moment of finally feeling each other, holding each other. As you both fumbled to undo his suit trousers a strained gasp left Tommy's throat when you slid your hand down into his briefs, the sudden feeling of your fingers wrapped around his hard length causing Tommy to stumble forward as his hand reached behind you grabbing the shelf to steady himself from the intense feeling of your touch.

" Fuck...I can't wait any longer" Tommy moaned as he reached under your dress moving your underwear to the side, his fingers ghosting over your wetness as he teased the entrance, making your head spin with desperation to feel him inside of you. Quickly pushing his trousers down, Tommy hitched up your dress as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his darkened stare filled with lust and need catching your eye as you hooked your finger into his briefs and pulled them down.

" Tommy, I..I need you..." You trailed off at the feeling of him grinding his length slowly through your wet folds as he looked down at the very sight he had spent nights fantasising about, trying with all his will power to not cum right then and there. It had been too long, too fucking long since he had last felt you.

" Fuck sweetheart" Tommy moaned, spreading your legs further apart with his knee as he lined himself up and push the head of his length inside of you." Holy...shit, you feel just as I remembered." Tommy breathed out as he pressed his forehead against yours. "Been thinking about this every night for five years" he groaned against your lips, his eyes squeezing shut as he pushed even further when his words suddenly snapped you out of the intensity of the moment.

" Wait stop, stop!" you said pushing him out of you as Tommy groaned at the loss of your heat around him, inches from being fully bottomed out.

" What...what's wrong?" Tommy breathed heavily as he looked at you pushing your dress down.

" This was a mistake." You said straightening out your clothes as his words ringed in your ears. He'd been thinking about this every night, even when he was with her, Grace. He had been wanting you every night but went to her instead. You wasn't naive enough to think that they had never had sex, but you suddenly felt sick at the mere thought of it.

" A mistake? Y/N, talk to me, what's going on?" He said pulling his trousers up as he stood behind you confused as to what he had did, what he had said.

" Every night you thought about me, every fucking night!" you cried as you slammed on the door. " Arthur open this fucking door!"

" Of course I did. What the fucks wrong with that? Didn't you think about me ?" He said trying to turn you around to face him.

" I did but not with someone else laying beside me Tommy!" You cried as you pushed his hands of you. "Did you fuck her thinking of me?" You sobbed disgusted by your own question, one some might be happy to hear that even whilst he was with another woman his thoughts were with you. But it seemed to have the opposite effect on you, you was revolted by the image of you on his mind as he fucked another woman, the same woman that had done nothing but belittle and humiliate you. Was you being irrational, were things moving to fast? Or were you trying to find a reason, any reason to halt your fragile relationship from rekindling, afraid the past would repeat itself?

"Jesus Christ" Tommy huffed as he pinched his brow at the sudden change in mood.

"Well?"

" Of course I fucking didn't! She meant nothing to me, I regretted it the momen..

" Only after then " you said cutting him off not wanting to hear anything he had to say about his time with her.

" You're twisting things" when had he become so bad at formulating the right words. He was beginning to think it was a skill he had perfected only for you.

" Arthur!" You banged loudly on the door, desperate to be the furthest you possibly could from the very man you had dropped everything to go and see that day.

"What in seven hell was that?" Polly said as she walked into the living room pulling the pin out of her hat as she placed her bag down onto the coffee table.

" Y/N and Tommy are working through their... differences" Arthur replied sat in an arm chair with the mornings paper on his lap.

" Oh Arthur what did you do? Actually don't tell me, I already know. You locked them in the bloody cupboard didn't you?" Polly replied as she looked up at the ceiling, your banging on the door rattling the paper thin walls.

" It's for their own good"

" Arthur, did it ever enter your new founded brilliant mind that they were actually on the right path? Tommy had apologise to her you berk! "

"How was I supposed to bloody know, I've been in London haven't I. I can't keep up, their spats change with the bloody wind! Arthur huffed throwing the Birmingham Gazette on the table in front of him.

" Jesus Christ, why do I live in a house of bloody halfwits?" Polly said shaking her head as she clutched the cross around her neck." Give me the key else we'll be calling the undertakers within the next ten minutes"

" Tom would never hurt her"

" It's not Tommy I'm worried about" she said as she hurried up the stairs holding the bottom of her dress.

" Y/N would you calm down" Tommy pleaded as you continued to hysterically pound at the door when the lock turned on the opposite side and you pushed it open, running past Polly and down the stairs out onto Watery Lane.

" What did you do now?" Polly said quirking a brow as she stood in front of the door with her arms crossed.

" At this point, breathed" Tommy huffed as leaned against the shelving in the small closet looking up at the ceiling as he finally puzzled everything together, the sudden realisation as to what his words may have meant to you, words he would have reacted as equally as angry to if he had been on the receiving end of them. It had been a one time thing, a drunken mistake he had regretted instantly. Not that his confession would ease the disgust you now felt for him. Even know you weren't together at the time, he had in that very moment when he sat at the end of the bed felt like he had cheated on you. Betrayed every declaration of love he had ever made to you, leaving him feeling physically sick with guilt as he bolted away and out the presence of the very woman he had just been intimate with.

" Penny for your thoughts?" Arthur said as he turned the corner onto the back alley of your flats a few days later.

" You don't want to hear my thoughts Arthur, and they're definitely not worth a penny" you replied sitting on the brick wall along the path, biting into an apple as you watched your freshly hanged laundry dry. Riveting.

" Why are they naughty? " he grinned as you scooted over to make room for him to sit down.

" No, murderous"

" These murderous thoughts wouldn't happen to be about a beloved brother of mine would they?" He laughed taking the apple from you as you rested your hands on the brick wall, swaying your feet back and forth as Arthur took an abnormally large bite from the last of your lunch leaving nothing left for you." Go on, tell old Arthur all about it" he said mouth half full as you scrunched your brow in amazement watching him eat down to the very core.

" Tommy's been looking for me and I've been avoiding him" you replied tucking your hair behind your ear as you looked down at the ends of your shoes.

" And why's that ay?" He asked already knowing your likely response.

" Because what's the point Arthur? We're never going to get back to how we were, back to being madly in love. Too much has happened. He did too much" you said turning your head sniffing back your tears.

" Are you pulling my leg? Back to being madly in love...you are madly in love! " Arthur chuckled as you snapped your head to him.

" I'm not joking Arthur, there's nothing left to fix" you pouted as you blinked away your tears, refusing to admit to yourself that the love you had for him was as strong as it was back then. Albeit an angrier close to committing murder kind of love.

" Ay, come on you" he sighed putting his arm around your shoulder as he watched your white linen table cloth blow in the gentle afternoon breeze. " Never seen two people in love as much you both. Even after five years of putting all us through the ringer with his bullshit Tommy never went a day without mentioning you Y/N, even if half the time it was him whinging about how you broke his poor old bloody heart first" Arthur said rolling his eyes at the very words you were convinced Tommy never went a day without letting you hear.

" Well I'm glad I wasn't the only one that had to hear that for all those years " you sniffed as a small laugh escaped your lips.

" He loves you Y/N. He's just been shit at showing it" he said as you looked up at him smiling back to you. "Please, put us out of our misery ay. I don't think I can do another five bloody years of this" he said as he squeezed you into his side rubbing your arm up and down like he was trying to start a fire with his bare hands. It was blunt, but it was to the point. Making more sense to you than the countless hours you had spent mulling in self-doubt and pity. Arthur was right could you go through another five years of this?

" Ello mate, where you been then? Out chasing rabbits old boy" Arthur said, both of you welcoming the change from the heavy conversation you'd just had as he dropped his hand down to a black and white dog slowly approaching him, his muzzle greyed by the years he had gracefully earned. " Begging now are we?" Arthur added as the four legged animal sat down in front of him, lifting his muddy paw whilst he eyed up the apple core in Arthur's hand. " Ere, you scruffy mutt" Arthur chuckled as he threw it to him, the dogs aged reflects seemingly unaffected when it came to all things edible. " Gone on, I'll see ya later" Arthur said nodding to the empty path as the dog trotted off, content with his late super firmly grasped within his mouth.

" New friend ?" You asked as you watched Arthur smooth down his stache, a smile poking through the whispers of hair.

" Gave him some leftovers few weeks back, now he won't leave me alone. Gangly looking thing ain't he? All legs and big ears" Arthur said as he watched the dog make his way down the alleyway, the sun setting down at the end of the cobbled path reflecting off the small puddles his four legged friend tip toed nimbly around.

" Bit like you then. No wonder you get along" you laughed as you looked up at the blue skies, nearly two months worth of rain finally easing up.

" Cheeky mare" Arthur said nudging his shoulder with yours as he rolled his eyes.

" How old is he?"

" Well I've counted the spots on his back, but he looks like he's been dipped in paint so I don't know"

" Arthur, he's not a ladybird"

" You're too easy Y/n " Arthur chuckled, thinking he had fooled you with his joke you was sure he had been waiting to make the moment he had conjured it up. "Nah, he's alright. He's a good boy" Arthur sniffed looking down to the end of the path as the dog stood there patiently waiting. " It's alright boy, you can go" Arthur called out with a quick nod of his head, reassuring his furred companion he'd see him again soon as he watched him walk over the small hill into the sunset disappearing from sight. " Right. Come on you. No more faffing about, let's go have a cuppa while we wait for Tommy ay? " Arthur said jumping off the wall putting his hand out for you to take as you both made your way through the alleyway, hopping over the puddles as you both giggled like two children making their way home before dark, the welcome heat of the fading sun beaming on your faces.

All day, all bloody day he'd been looking for you. Tommy thought to himself as he walked past the Garrison, the smell of beer and liquor tempting him to drown in his sorrows and abandoned any hope of finding you.

" Still breaking my Y/N's heart" he heard a voice call out on the opposite side of the street as he turned the corner onto Watery Lane, the same voice he'd been intentionally avoiding at all costs for going on five years.

" Don't you have a broom to catch?" Tommy replied as he slowed his pace, keeping a safe distance between him and the fire breathing dragon you just so happened to call mum.

" Trouble, I've been saying it for years " your mum scowled as Tommy eyed up the tea towel sat on top of her weeks shopping in the woven basket resting on her forearm, knowing his turn to feel the back of it was long overdue.

" I hope your dealings with the devil don't run in the family, because I plan on marrying your daughter and I don't fancy having to deal with her temper when it's a full moon and you lot come alive. Tommy said with a chuckle as your mother's eyes widened at the sheer cheek of the boy she'd been trying to keep you away from for as long as she could remember, for when you were together you were an unstoppable force she had no hope of winning. " Ta ra!" Tommy waved above his head as he opened the door to Watery Lane leaving your mum standing there, damning the day you and him had met.

"Two peas in a bloody pod" she huffed as she marched off down the street a small smile making itself known as she looked up at the sky. "Isn't that right my love..."

"Ay up" Arthur said over his tea cup as Tommy came stomping through the front door of Watery Lane, hair disheveled a look of shear frustration on his face as you looked up from your lap.

" Been giving me the runaround all day eh?" Tommy said as he threw his cap on the table, brushing his hand threw his hair with the other.

" I don't know what you're talking about" you replied complacently as you leaned back into the plush armchair whilst Arthur stood in the corner, a smirk on his lips as he watched the drama about to unfold over the warm cup of tea in his hands.

" Right. Enough" Tommy said pointing his finger at you as he marched over. " Stand up, come on, up" he said pulling you to your feet by your arms. " I'm sorry alright, I'm fucking sorry. For all of it" he said cupping your cheeks in his hands as he dipped his head down to look directly into your eyes. " Just one more chance ey? God knows I'm a miserable bastard without you..."

" Ain't that the bloody truth" Arthur interrupted rolling his eyes as he poured two fingers of whisky into his drink.

"... sweetheart, please" he said rubbing his thumb across you chin as he leaned in and rested his forehead on yours. " I can't do this without you Y/N " he said quietly squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for a response, feeling like it was the longest wait of his life than the few seconds it actually took for you to respond.

" One more chance " you replied as Tommy's eyes flew open.

" Yeh?"

" Yeh" you smiled as Tommy crashed his lips onto yours holding you tightly in his arms.

" 'Bout bloody time" Arthur cheered raising his tea that contained more whisky than it did anything else into the air.

" I love you Y/N Y/L/N"

" I love you Thomas Shelby" you said wrapping your legs around his waist as he lifted you up into his body, lips intertwined in an unstoppable embrace.

" Right, I'm off out then" Arthur said raising his brows as he downed his drink as quick as humanly possible " Make sure you turn that gramophone on ay, nobody wants to hear five bleeding years of making up" Arthur chuckled as he scrambled for his coat and hat heading for the door having already seen enough of your and Tommy's passionate display of reconciliation. Together at last. All it took was five years and some wise words from a gangly Shelby who had made it his life mission to not only never let your smile fade but to bring you and his baby brother back together, even if it did mean locking you in a closet.

" Tommy" you said, your head resting against his bare chest and his lazily stroked up and down your back.

" Mmm?" He hummed, his eyes shut, a content smile on his face as sleep beckoned him. He wasn't a young adult anymore, five years of making up had exhausted him. He was convinced he had beat an all time world record in the past twenty-four hours something he was now secretly proud off, maybe his greatest accomplishment yet. At Least now he could say his little white lie ten years ago had been achievable.

" What do you think we'll be doing ten years from now?" You said as Tommy opened his eyes turning his head to you.

" How did I know you was gonna ask me that ey" Tommy replied, brushing his nose with yours as he cupped the side of your face.

" Tommy.."

" The same thing sweetheart, cross my heart and all that" he said feeling his eyes get heavy with sleep again.

"I'm serious Tommy"

" So am I. No more looking back eh? Only looking beside me, you next to me holding my hand like it should've always been. I promise you that" he said pecking his lips to yours as he brought you further into his body, not only promising to you but himself to never let the past repeat itself. Thomas Michael Shelby, the man who had enough stubbornness to endure five years worth of self-inflicted heartache finally felt at peace, the one person he had dreamt to hold in his arms again now permanently by his side. He may not have shown it how he'd intended to do to, but he had always, and would always be, hopelessly devoted to you.

The End.

There we are everyone, we've come to the end of the story for Y/N and Tommy. As always, I want to thank you all for the love you have shown this series. I know I say it all the time but you have blown me away with your incredible support, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments on the ending of this rollercoaster of a story. Thank you to each and every one of you, my lovely readers.

Brummie xxx

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#Fantastic #This is art not fanfic #Brummie is the best #I've never enjoy a Tommy x Reader story this much #And I'm not even a Tommy girl #Tommy Shelby x Reader #Arthur ...#I'd die for him alright?

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