#also all my crushes are unattainable

[barabri]

good god im so single. seriously it's rough

[brainrot-jikan]

igor/jing yuan real

he has the picture HUNG UP ON A WALL that he GOES TO STARE AT BY HIMSELF ANGSTILY

[skunkes]

,

[marsixm]

i complain about being alone but i like do not want to date lmao i want to already be married to my soulmate for 10 years

[cuddlingsun]

i hate feelings!!!! go away!!!!!!

[hannieehaee]

GOODNIGHT N GO

18+ / mdi

summary: having always seen minghao from afar, you always considered him unattainable, with him never interacting with you while his friends brought you around. unbeknownst to you, he had similar thoughts about you, constantly keeping his distance, thinking you must've been interested in his members instead. luckily for you, you had two very meddling friends, too fed up with your mutual idiocy.

content: idol!minghao x hybeidol!reader, reader is mingyu and seokmin's bestie, afab reader, reader is implied to be a 97 liner but its not a huge plot point, acquaintances to lovers, very adorable crushes, assume minghao is a little shier and less social than he seems irl pls, reader is mentioned to have some family troubles, minghao literally courts reader aaahh he's too cute, smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation (kind of), dry humping, mentions of pregnancy, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 9.3k

a/n: this is one of my works im least proud of so pls have that in mind as u read<//3

masterlist | patreon

"C'mon, one more drink."

"Yeah, you can't leave yet, it's too early."

"I have a shoot early tomorrow. I can't be hungover for it," you said for the nth time in the past five minutes.

Currently, you were situated in Seventeen's dorm rooms in the Hybe building.

It wasn't too common for groups to stay within the building, seeing as most people had their own individual apartments or homes outside of the premises, but Seventeen would often frequent their own dorms for hanging out purposes, only ever spending the night if they were too tired to make it home.

As per usual, you were hanging out with Mingyu and Seokmin, with Wonwoo and Seungkwan having decided to also make an appearance. It was quite usual for them to keep you around after work (and even to occasionally steal you during working hours). As expected, the overly extroverted 97 liners of the group had taken you under their wing early after your debut, debuting you as a the only female member of the friend group.

Along with you, there were guys from other groups who had also been blessed with a birthday within the year 1997. This, of course, included Xu Minghao, though he was mostly an honorary member, as he mostly kept to himself and never actually joined in with the group. Even after years of being best friends with multiple members of the Seventeen, you were yet to really get to know Minghao. The man remained a mystery to most of those around him.

This was quite unfortunate to you, seeing as you'd developed a bit of an unrequited interest in the guy. There was something about his calm and confident aura that drew you in. Unlike most of his other members, he had a tendency to keep to himself and keep outside social interaction to a minimum. This had at some point caused you to hold the belief that maybe he didn't like you, but your friends had informed you time and time again that this was simply his personality. However, that didn't prevent you from wanting to seek him out (though never actually going through with it).

This was why despite your previous excuse to leave to sleep in early for tomorrow's schedule had been thrown out the window the moment you spotted certain boy with a mullet walk into the room, rubbing at his eyes as if he'd just been awoken.

"What are you guys still doing up? I thought you'd all be gone by now," mumbled the pajama-clad boy, approaching the couch Mingyu was currently leaning back on and taking a seat next to him.

Subconsciously, you straightened your posture, attempting to appear casual at his sudden appearance.

You could count the times you'd been in Minghao's proximity with one hand. Being honest, you weren't quite sure if he even knew who you were past the general knowledge of your role as an idol.

"Sorry, Hao. We forgot you were staying here tonight," apologized Seokmin as he absentmindedly handed the boy an open bottle of soju.

Minghao was joining in on the drinking, it seemed. Naturally, this caused you to comfortably snuggle into the couch and forget all thought of leaving before having that last drink you had been offered just moments prior.

In front of you was a coffee table and two boys sitting on the couch opposite; Mingyu and Minghao. Surrounding you were Wonwoo and Seungkwan, while Seokmin remained standing and leaning against the counter to your right. Despite your distance to Minghao, you had the privilege of having a seat in which you could stare at him without it seeming unnatural.

"Oh, you've met Y/N, right?", Seungkwan suddenly remembered, taking his usual role as mood-maker to make an introduction if need-be.

Minghao finally laid eyes on you for the first time, giving you a polite smile and a subtle bow of his head, "I think a few times. Hi, Nice to see you."

Returning his gesture, you responded similarly, taking your eyes off him right after and giving your attention to the large boy sitting next to him who was now speaking.

"So, staying for that last drink?", he asked you, holding out a glass for you, giving you the option to take or deny it.

"Sure. Just this one," you insisted, grabbing the glass and taking a sip. Cheers erupted from your friends at your agreement to stay, with all of them seemingly tipsy enough to get excited at such a minuscule act.

On your peripheral, you missed how Minghao continued looking your way, smiling softly to himself as he stared.

-

"Well, that's the last of them," chuckled Minghao the moment Seokmin began slouching back on the couch, clearly falling into deep slumber.

Only an hour later and all four boys had either fallen victim to their drunken state and lost to the battle to slumber, or had made their way to bed before their dignity left them.

In front if you laid a snoring Mingyu as a passed out Seokmin subconsciously attempted to cuddle into him in his sleep. Not too far earlier, the two other boys had left, leaving you and Minghao as the last standing of the night.

As the night had progressed, rearrangements were made to your sitting accommodations, resulting in Seokmin joining Minghao and Mingyu on their couch right after Seungkwan's departure, leading to a peeved out Minghao making his way onto your couch to avoid the two large men bugging him as they got progressively more drunk.

At that moment you wanted to think it might've been an excuse to sit closer to you, but you knew that was just wishful thinking. It was something that made you giddy regardless, as you now found yourself side to side with him, practically alone in the boys' dorm's living room, — ignoring the two sleeping men across you — nursing drinks as your mutual tipsiness accompanied you.

"They were never good drinkers anyway," you responded with a chuckle, resting your back against the back of the couch as Minghao followed along, head slightly turning to face you.

There was a moment of comfortable silence as you both enjoyed your current buzz. Similarly to you, Minghao had chosen to not drink much through the time he'd joined you and the guys, choosing to nurse a single drink through the night. You'd had two, but found yourself still fully lucid.

"I don't think we've ever formally met, huh?", he mused, nodding in your direction.

"A few times, but you never hang around enough for me to get a word out," you agreed.

This pulled a chuckle from him, "Sorry, despite popular belief, I'm not as much of a social butterfly as my bandmates."

"I don't think anyone could possibly be as social as those two," you gestured to the two boys sleeping across from you, "What? You don't enjoy drinking til losing your inhibitions?", you joked.

"I envy them sometimes. I mean, clearly I've been missing out on a lot," he revealed, giving you an unreadable smile.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Haven't made too many friends in the industry so far. I keep to myself too much sometimes, I think."

"Well, you could always join us more often. The guys are always inviting you. We'd all love the company," you encouraged, offering him a smile back.

He hummed at you, "Yeah? I'll take your word for that, then," he leaned over to the coffee table in front of you, putting down both of your drinks before pouring two shots and handing one over to you.

"Here," he clinked with you, "To my new friend," he gave you a confident yet appreciative smile, taking his shot afterwards.

"Oh? Okay, then. Sure," you followed along and took your shot, giggling at how easily he turned up his charm, "So, friends, huh?", you asked after you'd both downed your shots.

He shrugged, "Maybe we'll be the best of them, who knows."

After that night with Minghao, — which was spent drinking and reminiscing on your own personal memories with the two idiots you liked to call your best friends — you began to see him more frequently. You didn't get to know each other too much that night, being far too tipsy and sleepy to make it past an hour of alone time with him. However, his frequent presence helped you grow accustomed to him. It was nice to see the contrast between him and Seokmin and Gyu.

The two of you still didn't talk too much, usually sticking to comfortable silences more than anything else. His company was still always welcome, and very much encouraged by the three of you. Seokmin and Mingyu never questioned his sudden desire to begin taking them up on their offers to hang out, simply accepting his newfound presence as a gift.

You hoped that your crush on the boy wasn't too obvious, but as of now, you were pretty sure you were in the clear. Had those two known of your crush, they would've already ambushed you with a million questions about it. There was also the fact that you didn't want to get in the way of what Minghao clearly wanted to be a friendship and nothing more. Sure, he was very courteous to you, but nothing he ever did or said ever gave you any signal that he meant for your interactions to be anything but platonic.

Any outing between you and Minghao was always crowded with your two other friends. Even if any part of you wanted to act out on your crush, it was practically impossible due to their constant presence. The dynamic you'd quickly formed had been nice, though, as it usually consisted of Seokmin and Mingyu as a duo while you and Minghao stuck to one another. Your calm and introverted demeanors went very well together.

Walking side by side during any outing whilst your two friends led the way, too lost in their own shenanigans, you and Minghao smiled softly to yourselves at the other's company. No words were needed as you enjoyed the breeze of the night. You knew all to well that there'd be news articles on your outing, — yet another sighting of the 97's of SEVENTEEN with Y/G/N's Y/N — but it was such a common occurrence that no one truly paid any mind to it anymore.

"Hey, how about we rent a karaoke room to end the night?", Seokmin had suddenly halted his movements, causing Mingyu to bump into him at his abrupt stop.

Turning to face everyone, he looked around to see who agreed with his proposition. You'd already spent most of the afternoon at a restaurant nearby and walked through the streets of a populated clubbing area, so karaoke was not too out of the question in the context of the night.

Mingyu expressed his enthusiastic agreement, turning to you to see if you were down for it too. You noticed Minghao's eyes on you too, giving you an encouraging smile that let you know that he was interested in hearing your response before giving his own.

"How about we head back home and do karaoke there? There's probably already a ton of pictures of us hanging out today," you reasoned, not wanting to end the night just yet but also taking in mind your role as an idol.

Mingyu boo'd at you, "That's boring! I don't wanna go home yet," he pouted, clearly demonstrating how tipsy he currently was.

Seokmin agreed, "We can buy those fruity drinks you like at the norebang, c'mon," he insisted, "Myungho, what do you think? You've never tagged along to the norebang with us, I'll pay," he offered, tugging at Minghao childishly.

Minghao turned to look at you, "Be gentlemen," he scolded, walking over to your side to face them, "If she wants to head home then we head home," he affirmed, rolling his eyes at his friends' exaggerated groans of complaint.

"Thank you, Hao," you nodded at him with a smile, sticking your tongue out childishly at the other two boys.

Seokmin headed over to your side to hold your hand whilst Gyu now stuck by Minghao, walking in pairs of two once more as you turned back to head over to the car you'd arrived in. Looking back, you caught Minghao's eye, also catching sight of a subtle smile thrown your way.

It took you very little to arrive to your apartment, with the two boys making their way in ahead of you as if they owned the place. You couldn't blame them, knowing they were very used to coming over quite frequently. Minghao, on the other hand, stayed behind with you, waiting for you to welcome him in. He was very cordial and reserved, something which endeared you to no end.

Entering, you lost sight of your other two friends, who were probably already situated in the large living room located upstairs, ransacking you of any alcohol and entertaining themselves with your karaoke system. Meanwhile, Minghao continued to follow your slow movements, waiting by your side as you locked the entrance door. His hands remained intertwined on his back, giving him a posture you would only really expect from royalty.

Smiling at you, he nodded silently as if to encourage you to move forward so he could follow you along the length of your home.

"Show me around? Looks like the guys are already really familiar with the place," he suggested with a smile.

"Yeah," you chuckled, "They're here a lot. Wonwoo banned any group hangouts at his and Mingyu's, and Vernon sleeps early, so we never really go to Seokmin's. I live alone and the place is pretty big, so they crash here a lot," you explained, beginning to walk into the entrance hallway, "I'll show you around. It's uselessly big. I mostly have spare rooms for leisure," you explained, walking by the various rooms of what could very well be called a mansion due to its size. Large homes like these were common amongst idols, though many of them usually shared with other members.

"It's pretty," he said as he looked around, stopping by a certain painting hanging on your wall.

"My place or the painting?", you asked, standing to his side, "Mingyu made it," you gestured to the painting.

"Yeah, it looked familiar," he nodded, eyes still on it, "You're pretty close with Gyu," he stated, though it gave you the intonation of wonder.

You nodded at him, "He was my first friend when I became an idol. I probably wouldn't have met most of my current friends if it wasn't for him. He's too outgoing for his own good," you shrugged, reminiscing on how you'd met Mingyu and consequently every other member of what came to become the 97's squad, along with most Seventeen members.

"I can relate to that," he began walking further into your home, with you following along, "He was my first friend in Seoul. Didn't care about the language barrier at all, always tried to make me feel welcome," he seemed to reminisce too.

"Yeah, that's Mingyu," you joined with a smile, "I'd say I'm equally close to Seokmin, though. You? Any favorites?", you joked.

"Hmm, those two? Not really, but like I told you, I'm interested in getting close to someone else," he subtly bumped shoulders with you as he walked, chuckling when you did it back.

"Yeah? Well, maybe I'll have to rethink my favorites also," you smiled back with suggestion in your eyes.

This came to be a common occurrence between you — silent yet comfortable smiles.

Making your way upstairs, you made a stop by a balcony located just before the living room, from which you could already hear Seokmin and Mingyu taking liberal use of through the karaoke you had installed. Sharing a laugh, you and Minghao walked over to the veranda and took in the night's breeze.

"I'm going back to China soon," he suddenly said, "We're mostly on a break for two months while Wonwoo and Jeonghan hyung go through their comeback. I'm sure the guys must've told you?"

You nodded, "Yeah, I went to visit them during rehearsals once or twice. How long will you be gone?" you couldn't help but show your disappointment.

"Sad? We barely met each other," he nudged your shoulder again, "Just two weeks. Been wanting to see my parents for a while."

"Aw, that's nice. I'm sure they must miss you," you coo'd, sniffling at the chilly weather.

"Cold? Wanna head back inside?" he asked, nodding when you shook your head in negation, "Yeah, I miss them too. Love them more than anything. It's the one downside to our career," he went on to respond to your question.

"That must be really nice. I'm glad you get to see them soon," you expressed your genuine happiness at him being able to go back to his home country. He truly seemed like the type of guy who lived and breathed for his family — at least going by how he treated the second family he found with his members.

"How about you? Gyu told me you're on rest. Visiting family any time soon?", he wondered, suddenly shoulder to shoulder with you, continuing to look forward as he leaned on the veranda.

"Uh, nope. I don't really see them often," you mumbled, "It's been a while, actually," you continued, sure your body language told on you. Minghao must've caught on to this, allowing the hand he had resting on the veranda to slide over and next to your own hand, gracing the back of your palm with his pinky.

It was such a small gesture, yet entirely too sweet for you to take in without blushing to yourself.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, letting a moment of silence pass before continuing to speak with that soft voice of his, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but ... you're always welcome in my home. My mom would love you," he assured.

You chuckled, "Yeah? You sure? You barely met me," you teased by mirroring his earlier statement, returning his gesture and letting your fingers trace his own absentmindedly on the veranda.

"Just a hunch. If I like you, then she'd love you," he reaffirmed.

"Oh, so you like me?", you finally turned to face him, smiling teasingly.

"Thought I was clear about that," he cocked his head in mock curiosity, smiling back at you, "Gotta be more assertive, got it," he murmured mostly to himself afterward, finally disconnecting himself from the veranda and beginning to walk away, stopping to gesture you follow him.

"C'mon, they'll get too drunk if we don't go babysit them," he reminded you, holding out his hand to guide you into your own home — it was a bit ridiculous, but you could tell soft touches and stolen glances were a big thing with him, and who were you to complain?

As expected, the guys ended up staying the night, too exhausted to get themselves off your couch until the following morning. Minghao, unlike them, did not reach a drunken state that impeded him from leaving, but it was silently agreed between the two of you that you did not want him to leave, nor did he want to be deprived of your company.

While the guys stayed passed out on the couch, you offered Minghao one of your spare rooms, something which made you feel slightly excited. Sure, you weren't sharing a bed or anything like that, but you'd still be waking up to Minghao in your home, and that was a win in your book.

Waking up, you headed to the kitchen, finding all your friends gathered in the interconnected dining room as they nursed their hangovers. Minghao had taken the liberty of making tea, smiling at you as he bid you good morning.

Heading over to where he leaned against the kitchen counter, you took the cup from him with a 'thank you,' blushing to yourself when his hand made contact with your hip as you turned around to lean on the counter next to him. The contact had clearly been with the intention to prevent you from hitting yourself against the counter, but it had still been to par with the cordial and charming persona Minghao carried with him, resulting in you swooning over him yet again.

Distracting yourself, you chose to make conversation with the two boys in front of you, chuckling at how exhausted they seemed (though out of their own volition).

"Do you guys have to drink yourselves into a coma every time you come over?" you deadpanned, earning a chuckle from Minghao.

"It'd be more fun if you joined us in blacking out," groaned Mingyu, "Not fair we're the only ones singing karaoke while drunk."

"Did I hold a gun to your head and tell you to chug or you'd die? You're just a sore loser. Not my fault Hao and I beat your score cause you were too drunk to sing," you retaliated, earning a hesitant hum in agreement from Seokmin, who was still silently suffering on the table in front of you.

"Anyways, what do you guys want to do today?", Mingyu changed the subject, "Norebang? Wanna call up Kook and Jaehyun? Or we could go to that Bruno Mars concert Jihoon suggested? Thoughts? Opinions?"

"How are you not dead right now? You drank twice as much as that guy and he's practically dead?" you gaped at him, pointing at the shell of a man that Lee Seokmin seemed to become during hangovers. Meanwhile, Minghao watched you with amusement, quietly enjoying your banter with his friend.

"Hao leaves soon, so we need to take advantage of all the time we have left!" he insisted, "We start promotions almost as soon as he returns and you'll probably be off your break by then. C'mon!"

"What do you think?", you turned to Minghao, "Concert? Norebang, again? What did you wanna do?"

He shrugged, "Whatever you want, I'm down," he sipped at his tea.

Seokmin began to gain consciousness again as he joined the conversation, "Jihoonie only has three extra tickets to Bruno Mars and Nonnie is going, remember, Gyu?", he stressed toward his friend, "And we already agreed we'd go, so you two are gonna have to find something else to do," he frowned, "Sorry, Y/N."

"What do you mean? Jihoon said he had five ti- ow, fuck," Mingyu groaned halfway through his statement, wincing as he hunched over on his seat in what seemed to be pain. Looking over at Seokmin for half a second before responding, his facial expression went from annoyed to normal as he responded again, "Right, I forgot, uh, he already gave out the tickets, sorry. I forgot I already made plans with Min and Jihoon for that," he rasped.

"Yeah, Hao can probably keep you company, though, right, Hao?", interrupted Seokmin, Mingyu nodding along, "We can meet at the afterparty after the concert. Jihoonie can probably get you guys in," he suggested.

As odd as the sudden lack of insistence that you join them at the concert was, you ignored it, opting to just take advantage of the opportunity to get some alone time with Minghao. Turning to your side, you could notice the remnant of a scowl on his face directed at Mingyu, but it immediately turned into a smile as soon as he faced you.

What you didn't notice, though, were the dumb smiles exchanged by your two friends as they watched you and Minghao for the rest of the time spent in your home, often removing themselves from the conversation if it meant you and Minghao got more alone time with one another.

Having any time spent without Minghao after that was practically unheard of. Being mutually on a break of sorts, it was easy to see each other quite often. The guys always enjoyed your company, and even more so that of Minghao's due to how rare it had been for him to join them in outings prior to this, so it was common for you to find yourself near the duo (+ Minghao) a few times a week.

Although you'd sometimes be joined by other 97 liners in the industry or various other members of Seventeen, it was hard to not take notice of the way in which Minghao would gravitate to you almost immediately. He gave you his utmost attention, opening doors for you, ordering your meals for you (with surprising knowledge of your taste), texting you good morning and good night, and even insisting he and the guys drop you off at home any time you hung out.

If you didn't know any better, you'd assume he was trying to show romantic interest in you. However, you had quickly caught onto Minghao's courteous behavior towards everyone in his life. This was something he had even let you in on, telling you about his upbringing and even sometimes apologizing if he appeared too formal for his age. You always encouraged him, however, letting him know how much you appreciated how much of a gentleman he was — it was a nice contrast from your brotherly dynamic with his groupmates.

Trying not to visibly swoon at every act of service Minghao did for you proved to be a feat. Sometimes you'd have to take a breather to hold yourself back from throwing yourself at him. It was pathetic, really, how into him you were within such a short time of becoming his friend. But this was something you had to keep to yourself, not wanting to ever make him uncomfortable or halt his behavior.

It only became worse with time as you spent more and more time together. Mingyu and Seokmin were quite popular amongst idols, each having various friend groups to hang out with during their time off. You were sure Minghao must've also had many friends (despite his claims otherwise — he was too likable to be friendless), but he had chosen to spend most of his time before going to China with you. Claiming your hopes were up would've been an understatement. It was impossible to not want nor hope for Minghao to make a move and explicitly ask you out, but he never did. What he did do, however, was choose you to be the last person he saw before leaving Korea for the following two weeks.

Inviting you over to his place that night, Minghao had let you know that this was his last night in Korea before heading to China for the next two weeks. After having gotten close to you for the past two months, he had decided that you'd be the best company possible for a quiet evening in before departing. You didn't have it in you to even question why he'd pick you over his own groupmates, simply happy to spend time with him with the knowledge that you wouldn't get to do so for a while.

"Sorry for the short notice," he apologized as he approached you on the couch with a glass of wine, "But we've been hanging out so much, it felt natural to ask you over."

You hummed in agreement, "Should I ask why Seokmin and Gyu weren't invited or should I ignore it and take advantage of the extra wine?", you asked as you took a sip of said wine.

"They're too loud," he groaned exaggeratedly, "You're quiet, like me. Your company's too nice to pass up while I can have it," he added, joining you in your drinking.

"You can always just call me while you're there," you reminded him, "The guys call me all the time when they're overseas."

"I will be calling you," he affirmed, "But it's different in person. I'll still miss your company," he shrugged.

"I really did become your favorite, huh?" you teased, "Beat them all for first place in just two months," you were joking, but he still nodded in affirmation, chuckling along with you.

Grabbing onto the wine bottle he had laid in front of you, you went to top him off when you realized his glass was almost empty, only to be stopped by him.

"My plane's in a few hours, I can't drink too much. Being tipsy on a plane is one of the worst feelings."

"A few hours? You said tomorrow," you gaped at him.

"Well, it's 11:38, so it technically is tomorrow," he shrugged.

You sat up straight, "Dude, you should be leaving already. Why are we even here? Should I drive you? I can call my driver, he'll be here in-"

He grabbed onto your shoulders, halting your movements, "Calm down, my manager already had all my things sent over and the airport is only like twenty minutes away," he started with a calm voice, "Sorry I called you so late, we had a short promo to do earlier today, so my day got taken up at the last minute and I really wanted to say goodbye," he explained.

"Minghao, it would've been fine if you just left, I don't want to make you late."

"I didn't want to leave with no warning. It'd be rude of me to neglect saying goodbye to someone I care about," he said in the plain and cordial way in which he always spoke, grabbing onto your hand and tracing it like he had grown a tendency of doing.

Once more, it was hard not to swoon at such a small detail — the insistence in complicating his day only to make sure he didn't somehow make you feel neglected. Most people would've settled with a simple phone call or even just contacting you incessantly he returned, but Minghao wasn't like most people.

You looked down, nodding, "Thank you. That's sweet of you to say."

"I know it's only two weeks, but I'll still miss you. It's rare for me to really get close to anyone in the industry," he explained.

You nodded in agreement, "Yeah, me too. It kind of sucks since I'll be off my break by the time you come back and we probably won't be able to hang out as much anymore," you mumbled.

"I'll still be free. I'll come to you," he reassured, "Maybe we can finally hang out without the guys getting in the way," he smiled, "Just you and me?"

There was a slight suggestion in the background of your conversation. It was somewhat clear to you that you weren't speaking of mere friendship anymore. The moment was tender and suggestive, leaving room for something more. If you were mere friends, Minghao probably wouldn't have insisted in seeing you or been as communicative as he been so far. He wanted to make sure he preserved the friendship through his absence, however short it would be.

However, this was too much to get into knowing he'd be leaving likely within the hour. Instead of getting into it, you simply nodded along, cracking another joke about how loud and all over the place your friends could be. Despite offering to go with him to drop him off at the airport, he declined, insisting his driver drop you off home before he left for his flight. With a hug goodbye, he left you there, promising to call once he arrived and expressing that he'd miss you once again.

After two months of spending almost every day together, you felt genuine sadness at his sudden absence. Maybe it was dramatic of you to feel sad over such a short period of separation, but Minghao just had that effect on people — or at least you. He had taken such a quick interest in you that made you feel like the only girl in the world. It was specially bothersome to know that you'd both be too busy to see each other by the time he came back, but you were happy he'd get to see his family after so long.

With these thoughts, you went to sleep, waking up the next morning to a call from Minghao informing you of his arrival and of how content he was to be with his family. Being the last person he saw and first he contacted made your heart soar, whilst also making you frustrated at the back and forth that had been going on between you since you met him.

You needed him to make a move soon, or else you'd grow insane.

"You know he likes you, right?", asked Mingyu quite abruptly one day.

Only five days after Minghao's absence and you found yourself hanging out with your favorite dynamic duo yet again. Any time you had off was usually spent either with your own group or with them; it was the same for Seok and Gyu, who would always seek you out if possible.

"Who?", you asked despite having certain idea of who he was talking about.

"Boo, don't play dumb, its boring," joined in Seokmin, sitting next to you on the couch whilst the three of you engaged in a somewhat intense game of Mario Kart in Mingyu's living room. Wonwoo had decided to join in this time.

"Who are we talking about?", murmured Wonwoo distractedly as he annihilated the three of you at the game.

"Minghao," they both responded at once.

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," he agreed nonchalantly.

Suddenly you fell off a cliff in the game, having your character be fished away from the precipice and placed back on the race track as you widened your eyes at the statement.

"What? You know? How would you even know?," you rasped, completely caught off guard by the sudden (yet somewhat expected) revelation. You had hoped Minghao would confess to you at some point, or even occasionally convinced yourself it was all in your head. What had been low in your list of expectations had been your friends informing you of his feelings in his absence.

"He talks about you any time you're not around," Wonwoo began with a monotonous tone as most of his attention was taken up by the game, "He never leaves home, yet he's been doing it every day since he met you, he has that dopey smile all the time now. I don't know, it's just kinda obvious," he finished, chuckling when he realized he crossed the finish line.

"If Wonwoo can tell but you can't, we have a problem," said Seokmin, groaning at his loss in the game.

"I don't know," you shrugged, completely ignoring the game now, "We're friends. I know he acts a certain way, but I think he would've already said something if he liked me like that."

"He's just shy. And he's very particular about who he lets in. The fact he keeps coming back means he must really like you," emphasized Mingyu, sitting back against the couch with you.

"We've already been trying to get you guys alone as much as possible, but you're taking too long to tie the knot," added Seokmin, followed by nods from the other too.

"So what am I supposed to do with this information? Do I ask him out or-"

You were met with a chorus of 'No!'s, making you immediately shut your mouth.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder," quoted Wonwoo, "He'll ask you out once he's back for sure."

Mingyu nodded in agreement, "He wasn't super direct about it, but he implied to us that he would, so yeah, be ready."

The thought made your heart race. How were you supposed to speak to him again after this without becoming a mess at the thought of your crush being reciprocated? Fuck, you even went as far as to wish you'd followed him all the way to China. The two wait week for him to come back suddenly felt like too much.

Both your thoughts and conversation were interrupted by the sudden vibration of your phone, leading three sets of eyes to turn to your direction.

"Let me guess," laughed Seokmin, wiggling his eyebrows at the implication of who may be calling at that moment.

"He never calls me, yet you've known him for two months and you get a daily call," Mingyu sulked jokingly as you went to pick up, ready to leave the room so you could answer the phone, "If you don't realize he likes you, then you're dumb."

"Don't tell him we told you," rasped out Seokmin before you were out of his line of fight, earning a nod from you before you picked up and left.

Walking into the room next door, you sat on Mingyu's bed as you finally responded, "Hello?"

"You looked beautiful today, you know," were Minghao's first words in response, "Gyu sent me some pictures you guys took yesterday. God, you look breathtaking."

You were unaware that Mingyu had sent Minghao the pictures he'd taken of you the day prior in which you went clubbing, something you were yet to do with Minghao as of yet. The implication of Minghao asking Mingyu for pictures of you made you blush.

"Stop flattering me," you groaned, attempting to keep control of your voice, knowing your nosy friends likely had their ears to the door.

"What, can't I appreciate beauty? I'm kind of jealous the guys got to see you all dressed up," he mumbled with amusement in his voice.

"Well, maybe don't leave the country next time," you teased, "I'll tell the guys to take you clubbing as soon as you're back," you promised, "Then maybe you can see me in a dress."

"Oh, is that a promise?", you could hear the teasing lip bite from your end, "Nah, not really a clubbing person. How about I make you dinner? Then you have another reason to wear a dress for me," he suggested.

For him. God, he wanted you dead.

You internally groaned at how smooth he was, "I feel like I should be the one cooking you dinner. As a welcome, you know?," you suggested instead. There was something about Minghao that made you want to throw everything away just to husband him up.

"You don't have to go out of your way. I should be the one treating you, it's what's right," he argued softly, "All you have to do is meet me at my place in a pretty dress, okay? I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay, you wore me down," you whined, "Damn you, Xu, you're good at this."

"Only with you," he murmured back.

The rest of the conversation went as your talks usually did. It was filled with updates from his day to day with his family and your own occurrences with your groupmates and friends. You kept him up to date with the happenings with Seok and Gyu, knowing he was more privy to calling you than them. The unspoken suggestion of you being of his utmost interest remained there, though nothing was ever explicitly said. Even as he asked you to go over to his place, you were unsure if it was meant as romantic date or if that'd come later. It made you giddy, but also far too excited to wait.

The two weeks passed faster than expected. Minghao's absence was barely felt, specially due to how constant his communication with you remained. The good morning messages, pictures, updates and lengthy phone calls never ceased, even consistently interrupting your time hanging out with your two shared friends. Any time you were on the phone with Minghao, you'd be met with teasing looks and exaggerated kissy sounds coming from either Seokmin or Mingyu (occasionally even Wonwoo or any other member who was present at the moment).

You had been completely worn down by both Minghao and his friends. The constant back and forth was enough to make you completely defenseless to Minghao's charm, but his friends' open teasing only made you more and more certain in Minghao's feelings for you.

Today was finally the day of his return, in which you found yourself getting ready to go meet him at his place. You'd insisted in picking him up (knowing Mingyu and Seokmin would also be getting him), but Minghao insisted you stayed behind, telling you he wanted to wash himself up and cook dinner before seeing you — Mingyu would be helping with the cooking.

You were anxious yet excited as you knocked on his door, though unsure if you'd be walking into a group meeting or a one-on-one between you and Minghao.

As soon as he opened the door, he offered you a soft hug, burying his face in your neck before even speaking, "Missed you," he mumbled, humming when you parroted the words back at him.

Disconnecting from him, you blushed when his hand immediately went to your own, leading you into his apartment with ease. His thumb played with the back of your palm whilst moving towards his couch, which had two plates of what looked to be like a luxurious meal — courtesy of Mingyu's cooking.

Sensing your eyes on the food, he spoke up, "Mingyu helped me make it. It's my mom's recipe," he informed you, "I'll let you eat soon, okay? Just ... There's something else I want to show you first, wait here," he let go of your hand as you stood in the middle of the living room, leaving the room for a few moments before returning with a small box.

Walking towards you with an excited smile, he became a little shier once he made eye contact with you. Your hands went up to receive the small box from him, his fingers gracing your own as he handed it over. A slight meeting of shy gazes was shared, but both your eyes went back to the box mere seconds later.

"You got me this? Hao, you really didn't have to," you murmured, opening it and gasping lightly at its content — it was a golden necklace; a little worn, but beautiful.

"It's my mother's," he started, enveloping your hands as they held onto the necklace, "I, uhm, I told her about you, and she insisted I bring this back to you," he explained, smiling down at you as you gaped at him, surprised he'd tell his mom about someone he'd just barely met, "She said I should give it to someone special. My dad gave it to her when they first started dating and she's kept it ever since."

"What?", your eyes widened attempting to hand back the piece of jewelry, "Hao, I- I can't accept this, it must mean a lot to your mom, I-"

He chuckled, interrupting you as he enclosed the necklace in your hands, "Please, Y/N, it's fine," he murmured once securing the necklace in your hold, "Here, at least try it on," he suggested as he gestured for you to turn around, now grabbing onto the necklace himself.

You followed along wordlessly, removing any obstacle from your neck and baring it for him to secure the necklace around your neck. His nimble feelings traced the back of your neck softly, leaning down to practically breathe you in as he adjusted it to perfection. Slowly, his face approached the back of your neck, nose and lips tracing your skin silently. You could feel the breath of his touch grace against your skin, forming goosebumps in its wake.

"You're so special to me, which is why I wanted you to have this," he breathed out, "But you already know that, right? How special you are to me?", he slowly turned you around, face still semi-buried in your neck. It was impossible to make eye contact due to the close proximity between you, but you could tell his eyes were heavy as he stared down at the skin of your neck.

Just as slowly as before, he separated from you, noses practically touching as he finally looked down into your eyes. His hand went up to your chin, making sure you were facing him just like he was you.

"Hao, I-"

"Sorry I waited so long," he chuckled lightly, "I wanted to make sure you liked me back before I made a move. Wanted to make you comfortable and get to know you, but it was hard to hold back sometimes," he explained, eyes going from your eyes to your lips, "Did I already tell you how beautiful you look tonight?", he interrupted his confession with a breathless chuckle as he allowed himself to look you up and down.

"Not yet, but-"

"Sorry, you look amazing. Is it all for me? Or is this reserved for friends too?", he asked as he bit a smile back, letting it break through when he registered your confusion, "I, uh, I used to think maybe you liked Mingyu, but that's not the case right? This is mutual. The guys see it too, I think. I know I haven't been too forward, but you understand my feelings, right?", he questioned, practically breathing you in.

Your breath was heavy at the confession, eyes trapped between locking on his eyes and lips, but eventually remaining stagnant on his lips. At some point, his hands went down and hesitantly made their way to your waist, pulling your body towards his when his act met no resistance.

"Hao, I- I like you too, I thought-," you cleared your throat and tried again, "I thought maybe you only liked me ad a friend, but, fuck, you like me too? I- I need to hear you say it," you let out, shocked any words could possibly come out of your lips when your brain kept screaming at you to kiss him.

Minghao appeared to have a similar idea, choosing to let hid actions speak for him rather than his words. The minute space between you became nonexistent when he kissed you, sighing softly into your lips when your mouth instantly opened for his.

The kiss wad soft and innocent; simply a demonstration of his feelings for you. He breathed out an 'I like you; so much,' into your lips after a few moments, but no response from you was permitted as he locked lips with you once more.

Any softness or innocence left the kiss soon after. It wasn't filthy by any means, but it was unexpectedly intense. Minghao seemed to be reading into your reactions, drinking in any sighs and moans coming from your lips and acting on them by kissing you harder, by slipping his tongue in your mouth, by softly pushing you against a wall and trapping you with his touches.

"Ha-hao," you moaned out between kisses, unsure of what you even wanted to say.

"Is this okay? I'll stop, just-"

You shook your head, cutting him off with a kiss, "Don't stop. Take me to your room," those were the last coherent words to leave you that night, earning a breathless chuckle from Minghao as he held your hand and led you to his room, food completely ignored.

Once in his room, you were led to his bed, though he stopped you before you could get in it, turning you around to kiss you again. His hands went back to your waist, rubbing up and down your back almost innocently. Your hands were the ones to become braver, going from playing with his hair to the front of his dress shirt, toying at the buttons and undoing the first few.

This silent demonstration of need made Minghao's hands become bolder, going down to your ass and kneading it. It was a back and forth. Any time you did something bold, he did too, going from your unbuttoning of his shirt to him throwing off your dress. You quickly ended up in your underwear while he stood in front of you shirtless and with unbuttoned pants.

His lips finally left yours, kissing down your neck and collarbones, heavy breath fogging against your skin while his hands explored your body. Your sighs occasioned groans from him along with mumbles filled with praise.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he sighed as he rested his forehead on your chest, taking a moment to breathe you in. Disconnecting himself from you, he finally looked you up and down, smiling softly at you before biting his lip from preventing his smile from growing any bigger, "You're gorgeous ... You're art. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and ... and I want you so bad," his voice grew deeper by the end of his statement.

He gently pushed you down, allowing you to lay back on the bed while he knelt before you. His hands felt the expanse of your legs, mouth gluing to the side of your knee and laying a soft kiss there. Upon noticing your reaction, more kisses joined the first one, trailing up and down your thighs while you looked down at him with a pained look in your eye. He seemed troubled with what he wanted to do first, needing to touch and kiss you all over.

"Can I?" he asked when his lips came far too close to your center, eyes hooded with desire.

No words left you, just a nod, but it was enough for Minghao to push your panties aside and go to town.

With a single lick, he went from slit to clit, groaning at the first contact. No more tentative touches came after that, only a mess of his tongue and lips drowning in you as his arms held your legs to prevent the incessant grinding of your hips against his face.

He ate you out expertly, moaning liberally against you as if the pleasure was all his own. His lips trapped your clit, sucking it in while his eyes rolled back. As much as your eyes attempted to close, you couldn't stand a single second in which you didn't get to see him as he gave you pleasure.

Your first orgasm came quickly, but it never fully subsided as his lips continued to lick and suckle at you, with his fingers even joining in to open your lips up for better access for his tongue. The wet noises were too explicit for you to process, but they only added to your sensitivity. Minghao ignored any whines for him to stop, taking note of how your words contradicted your actions. — your hands kept pushing his head back in while you whined 'it's too much!' at him — Your body clearly wanted more, and Minghao seemed too pleased to provide.

"Cum again," he rasped, "Wet my face and cum," he practically demanded, "You're so beautiful when you cum."

His hips would occasionally cant against the mattress, which made your eyes roll back any time you felt it. It wasn't a conscious nor active action, seemingly only happening every so often when he was too distracted to hold back. It made your stomach cave in, only able to picture how those same hips would likely be hammering into you in just a few moments.

With only a few more seconds of exploring your cunt with his tongue, Minghao happily claimed your second orgasm, licking into you throughout the entirety of your high as he had done the previous time. This time, however, you pulled him away, silently encouraging him to make his way back to your lips and trapping him in a wet kiss.

He practically fed you your own juices, murmuring praise into your mouth as his hips began grinding into your sensitive cunt.

"You were so good for me, sweetheart."

"Tasted so good for me, fuck, taste just as beautiful as you look."

"Yeah? Too sensitive, baby? 'm sorry, angel. Couldn't help myself."

"Do you feel that? I'm- I'm gonna fuck you with that. Is that okay, beautiful? Hmm? You want it, huh?"

He took advantage of every whine and cry of his name that came after each statement, sucking into your tongue any time your mouth would open for him. His hips took no rest either, grinding directly against your swollen cunt as the zipper pressed up against you in such a painful yet pleasurable way.

Pulling away with a low chuckle at your whines in complaint, he threw off his pants and boxers, smiling down at the thirsty look in your eye upon seeing him.

"Want it, pretty?", he coo'd, bringing your hand up to his cheek and turning his face to kiss the back of your palm lovingly, "I'll give it to you, beautiful. Don't even have to do anything, just stay right there, okay, angel?", he said as he reached back to his pants, taking out a condom and wasting no time in putting it on.

He teased you no further, likely very sensitive himself after granting you two orgasms and dry humping you against his better judgment. You made him lose control, and you enjoyed it greatly despite being such a mess under him at that moment.

Entering you, he kissed you, swallowing your gasp of pleasure. He gave you a few moments before silently asking for permission to move, humping into you the moment you nodded in agreement.

As per usual, his gallantry showed once more as his hands found your own and intertwined above your head. His hips moved expertly yet at a pace that could only be described as sensual. The only time his hands left you was to remove your bra, but immediately went back to holding your hands while his lips found their way to your nipples, calling you every synonym of beautiful as he made love to you.

"Like you so much, beautiful," he breathed, his lips finding your own again, "Want to keep you all to myself. Can I? Wanna take you back home and- fuck, and introduce you to my parents," he rambled breathlessly as his hands wrapped around your waist, bringing you impossibly closer, "Wanna give you a ring and a house ... Make you a mom," he groaned at the mere mention, "Is it too soon? Just ... Like you so fucking much."

You wanted to reciprocate so badly, but your mouth would not emit any noise that wasn't an incoherent whine of his name. You opted for nodding enthusiastically, dragging your nails down his back as your orgasm approached.

Like the perfect man he was, he knew when to bring his fingers to your clit, causing your back to arch against him and rob you of the last bit of your voice that remained. You cried his name as your high arrived, gasping hiccups of pleasure that drew him into his own orgasm. Confessions of care and affection for one another were had, though no proclamations of love were made. That would come later, you were sure. Your shared words were enough for you to know the feeling was there.

He gave no time for you to move as he slipped out, throwing away his condom and tucking you next to him as he nuzzled against you whilst attempting to regain his breath. Kissed were laid against any bit of skin available to him, hands pressing you up against him.

"I'll clean you up and let you go pee in a second, just let me keep you for five minutes," he sighed with contentment.

"No complaint from me," you responded, equally in need of his affection, "We still have to talk about what you said, though," you giggled, earning a loving bite from him.

"I meant it," he mumbled, "I know it's soon, but I also know how much I like you. And I know you like me just as much," he said with certainty.

"You'll have to wait til at least the third date for further discussion about impregnating me," you joked, "But I'm not against it," you whispered the last part, earning a squeeze from him as he chuckled along with you.

"Go pee," he said when he finally separated from you, "I'll keep the bed warm for you and then I can finally give you that meal I made you."

Reluctantly, you got up, looking back at him from the bathroom door as he smiled with unfiltered happiness in his eyes.

You practically squealed with giddiness as soon as you closed the door, far too happy with today's events. Unbeknownst to you, Minghao had a similar reaction on the other side of that door.

to read short 2.3k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my svt monthly tier on patreon!

content: newbf!minghao, idol!au, hao is down bad horribly, teasing from his members, afab reader, smut, body worship, very soft!!, fingering, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 755 (teaser); 2304 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"So, how long did you guys plan this?", you asked as you mindlessly toyed with Minghao's hair, his attention likely in another dimension.

"Since the first time you guys met," responded Mingyu nonchalantly, continuing to press at the buttons of his controller and paying you almost no mind. Similarly, his gaming partners Dokyeom and Wonwoo had their focus at least 90% on the screen rather than on the conversation.

"What, so years ago? We've only really known each other for like five months," you questioned, not believing your relationship with Minghao had truly been orchestrated by the three dummies sitting one couch away from you.

"Six months and two weeks," corrected Minghao lazily, humming at your fingers running through his hair.

"He knows the exact date? God, he's whipped. Kyeom was right about setting you guys up," commented Mingyu with a chuckle.

The conversation felt entirely one-sided, though you knew your friends had developed a finessed skill at gaming whilst still giving you just enough of their attention for a conversation.

Currently, you were the main character of the conversation at hand, seeing as Seokmin had let it slip that he and the rest of your friends had designed a plan play Cupid and form a relationship between you and Minghao. You believed them to be too disorganized and impatient for such a thing, but decided to question them regardless — for entertainment if for any reason.

"Oh, so now it was Seokmin's idea?", you asked with amusement, shuffling to the side of the couch when you sensed Minghao getting up from lying on your lap. Without much effort you morphed into another comfortable position, this time with your legs on top of Minghao's as he cuddled into you, face buried in your neck to nuzzle into your skin.

Your friends had gotten used to your couple-y disposition quite quickly, only gagging at the sight occasionally but never truly bothered by it.

"Yes, ma'am," responded Seokmin in a jokingly formal manner.

"How did this come about?", you continued with the questions while Minghao continued to remain completely disengaged in the conversation, his only interest being the quiet and occasional pecks he could land against your skin.

"Well, it was obvious he liked you from the first time we brought you back to the dorms," started Seokmin, having given up on beating his friends at the game and instead leaning back against the couch to converse with you as he watched the match play in front of him, "He was a little more shy back then, so he never said anything, not even to us," he continued up until you interrupted him.

"Wait, back when?", your surprise went unnoticed by Seokmin, but not by Minghao who subconsciously tightened his arms around you, now actively listening to the conversation.

"2016? Maybe 2017?," Kyeom wondered out loud, turning to Mingyu for confirmation and receiving a hum and a nod from both him and Wonwoo, "Yeah, late 2016, I think. Anyways," he continued, "We never said anything, but we all knew. We'd always try to get you guys in the same place, but he never budged. It wasn't til a few months ago when we mentioned you might be dating someone that Minghao decided to—"

The commotion from your side of the room prevented Seokmin from continuing, followed by the landing of a pillow to his face, resulting in a whine from the boy. Unexpectedly, Minghao had gotten up, pulling you up with him and accidentally causing a remote to fall in the process.

"Seokmin, shut up!", he demanded, a shade of red you'd never seen on him invading his ears while he attempted to avoid your widened eyes.

Three sets of eyes were set on you now, with some being amused while others confused. The game was mostly forgotten as they all stared at the usually quiet and put together Minghao make a commotion as he attempted to leave.

"We have to go, come on, babe," he urged, dragging you away from the room.

"But I wanna hear the end of the story," you let out as he pulled at your arm, not truly dragging you away but still struggling to convince you to leave. Giggling, you waved your friends bye as you finally allowed him to finally lead you out of the room, giving the guys a death stare to express his displeasure with them. It wasn't genuine anger, you could tell, but it was still amusing to see him embarrassed at his years-long crush being aired out.

...

find the 18+ continuation on patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

[cool-island-songs]

Analysis of ALNST Character Relationship Metrics

My art book won't be here for a minute, but I ran some screenshots I saw on twt through an image translator and have a lot of thoughts:

TILL: Despite claiming to hate everyone in the world, Till ranks Ivan at 70% intimacy even as he identifies perturbing behaviors of Ivan's going back years and refers to him as "a bother". He also ranks Sua at 10% in spite of having little to say about her and finding it uncomfortable to be around her.

Though he postures at being misanthropic and has all the manners you'd expect of a boy who was half off at the human child pound, he's actually quite gentle and sensitive. This is reflected in one of the graduation messages he's left by a classmate as well:

The person he feels closest to is an unattainable crush, and someone who doesn't feel that close with him in return, likely because he's too shy to really approach her or carry on a conversation.

MIZI: That's Mizi, of course, who's rather childlike and naive initially. She likes everyone, but since Till chokes when he tries to speak to her and often keeps his distance, she wonders if he's avoiding her because he dislikes her.

Mizi gravitates towards people who she sees as "perfect", which is how she describes Ivan and Sua in her graduation message to Ivan:

She doesn't see the darker side of Ivan's personality (which has been described on several occasions, even by himself, as "twisted") because he's attractive, successful, and helpful to her.

Though she likes everyone, Sua is her "God", and the only thing that can keep them apart is the tragedy of their situation, which forces Mizi to grow up in a brutally painful way.

SUA: Sua is far less idealistic and naive than Mizi, and has clearly thought about sacrificing herself to save Mizi, since Ivan picks on her for thinking of doing so in an official comic. Accordingly, her feelings about Mizi are far more tinged by the knowledge that they will one day be torn apart by external circumstances. She laments that reciprocating her feelings will one day cause Mizi great pain.

She's always been more somber, and despite her surface similarities to Ivan (which he notes in a follow-up comic wherein he realizes he was wrong about Sua's feelings for Mizi being unrequited), she's quite different on the inside. Sua's more sensitive and thus her colder exterior serves to protect her, whereas Ivan's outward persona creates an illusion of normalcy that doesn't reflect his reality.

Sua views Ivan and Till as a threat and a nuisance, respectively. Like Till, she senses something strange about Ivan, and when it comes to Till, it's just one person too many around for her. This is fascinating to me, because I thought she might pity Till! Her feelings about Ivan were already pretty clear from this panel of the 'piggyback' comic, and she seems deeply hurt in the first comic linked by his prodding.

IVAN: For his part, Ivan is fascinated by Till even though he's content to sit back and observe, pestering him to get a reaction or his attention for a brief time. He doesn't expect anything in return but wants more than anything to be on Till's mind (hence behaviors like stealing Till's belongings and returning them to him, pretending he had found them).

He prefers Sua to Mizi despite his awareness that Sua doesn't particularly like him, seeing her as a sister and even telling her she's "twisted" like he is. He likes Mizi well enough, especially her sincerity, but seems to find her optimism a bit much at times.

The fact that Mizi and the others would likely consider Ivan and Mizi quite close while Ivan does not reflects how much he postures even in his closest relationships. He struggles to connect with those he's most compelled by and it's not clear if he really wants to.

Some Ivantill thoughts before I go:

There seems to be a common sentiment that it's tragic Till was unable to see how much Ivan loved him, and I think we'll likely get more of Till's perspective on Ivan and their relationship in round 7. But it may not be the case that Ivan even wanted his true feelings to be seen, or would have known what to do if Till had reciprocated them.

There's something almost voyeuristic and self-negating in his feelings for Till (see: "I can’t reach you, so I imagine alone/You who shines, I stand next to you" from 'Black Sorrow'). He has far more self-awareness and willingness to accept things as they are than Till, who doesn't see that Mizi only has eyes for Sua and who would likely struggle to accept that reality.

Ivan, on the other hand, is well aware that his feelings for Till are "shallow", a bright fantasy to get him through his dark reality, and he seems to sincerely believe that his death won't scar Till because he's never really broken through to him. He's a schemer, and comments he makes in his graduation message to Till and the interview he gives in advance of round 6 suggest that he may have been planning to sacrifice himself for some time.

Part of me wonders if he hoped it would leave a mark on Till. Choking, kissing, and violently sacrificing oneself are all aggressive, forward acts, especially from someone who used to toy with people to get his kicks but was otherwise quite passive and unfeeling.

There are a lot of parallels in the one-sided loves, like Till acting out of his usual character for Mizi, and Ivan doing the same because of Till, putting all hopes of being saved in something just out of reach, staying in chains for that one special person. But Ivan's psychology is quite different from Till's, and in fact closest to Luka's re: low or no empathy. Both Ivan and Till are significantly traumatized by their upbringings but Ivan's difficult early life in the slums and his experience being dangled off that rooftop seem to have damaged his ability to connect to others or feel much of anything.

Till is the first person for whom he feels anything while for Till, Mizi is an early crush he puts on a pedestal in a much more commonplace way. I think the shared trauma of competing on that stage makes it much more difficult for either of them to imagine moving on, but Ivan is not wrong in identifying that he won't find that feeling again.

The thing that intrigues me most about this series is the way the contestants' differences play out, particularly with regard to how they view love and how they respond to their individual and shared challenges. I'd love to get into it further another time but this is quite long already so thanks for sticking with it if any have (haha)

[hyunsvngs]

𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 - modern royalty au!lee felix x female reader

wc: 10.6k words

rating: 18+. MDNI

cw: felix and mc being dumbasses, no use of y/n, sickeningly sweet petnames, ANGST, fluff!!, smut warnings under the cut

synopsis: your childhood best friend, the prince lee felix, is due to be betrothed in an arranged marriage organised by his mother. the problem is, you’re her top choice - and you’re also secretly madly in love with him.

a/n: our first fic on the blog!! if anyone has any questions or any thoughts to share with me please feel free. this fic is my baby and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sw: dryhumping, use of petnames in bed, no actual sex!!, soft cutie felix except nsfw!!!!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You'd loved Lee Felix since the day you met him.

Of course, your brain had always convinced you that he was unattainable. You weren't without status, so to speak - your mother was famously known as the Queen's lady-in-waiting, and it was through her job that you'd had the pleasure of meeting the two princes, Felix and his elder brother Chris. You and Felix had clicked instantly. You had no other siblings yourself, and your father had died in the army when you were a baby, leaving your mother widowed and you without one of your intended parental figures.

Felix had taken that all in his stride, though. The day he met you he stumbled up to you with the grace of Bambi's first movement on ice, all short chubby limbs flailing everywhere and eyes formed in crescent moons with the size of his smile. Chris had taken less interest in you. Although polite, he was three years older than the both of you and already had his own group of friends, but you and Felix hadn't even started formal education yet - and you were inseparable as soon as you met. You were enchanted by him, he had been your first crush, and your first love once you were old enough to understand what that was.

You began your life as a shy, timid little girl, just as clumsy as your best friend. Your knobbly knees were always bruised and scarred, peeking out from the tops of your white knee socks and covered in whatever bandages Felix could find to wrap around you. Felix had brought you out of your shell, introduced you to some of his other 'friends' - at the start, they were just kids with similar status to him, but they really did form a tight knit group eventually. Now, you were known to always be by the side of Felix and his group, getting up to whatever secret debauchery you could manage that wouldn't risk any of your positions in society. Your mother, thankfully, had turned a blind eye to most of it, and the Queen was always too occupied to notice.

When you were younger, you and Felix loved to go out gallivanting. You'd stumble to the nearest beach, bags of towels and books in your canvas bags and giggle as you threw them on the sand. You had some form of an unofficial book club, just the two of you. You saw him practically all day everyday, but you'd both discussed and had decided to designate a Saturday afternoon to discuss whatever books you'd found in the extensive palace library and you both avoided any and all kinds of book talk on any other day in the week. The beach had become your place to gush over whatever literature had caught your attention, with the calming waves of the sea crashing behind you and the tweeting of whatever birds had made an appearance that day.

Now, though, you were both of age. You were both twenty one, and that meant that marriage was around the corner for Felix. He'd been so busy lately, you'd barely had the chance to see him. You took upon completing mundane tasks of your own, helping your mother with anything the Queen asked for (much to her polite gratitude, but she definitely knew why you were sulking around), and sometimes you even helped the cooks make food for the whole palace. Felix had teased you relentlessly once he'd seen you in your white frilly apron and you'd had to chase him out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon.

It was weird not having your best friend around so much. Chris was already married, being the heir to the throne, despite the fact there were rumours he would abdicate to Felix. Felix hadn't told you anything about that, and you were sure he would have. Even Chris leaving had left a hole in your heart - no more seeing his muscly eye-candy group of friends around. Well, they still showed up uninvited sometimes. You were pretty sure Changbin and Jisung were never actually invited, not even by Chris, but they lingered around him like they were his little brothers, too.

"Hey, you've been making that daisy chain for like, twenty years," A familiar giggle chimed from above you, and you looked up. Ah yes, your Prince. You'd gotten so lost in memories that you'd been wasting a Saturday afternoon with him. Fuck, you're such an idiot. Felix was looking down at you in your position in his lap, your head nestled on top of his crossed legs in the dress slacks he was supposed to wear everyday. He was wearing a white silk shirt on top of it, billowing in the summer breeze, but the top two buttons were still undone due to the heat of the sun. The summer always made your Prince's freckles shine more on his tan skin, the fawn dots even extending to the exposed skin on his chest. Needless to say, you waited impatiently for the hot season to come around every year. His teeth were gleaming in his smile, radiating sunshine and the gleam bouncing off of the bleach blonde mullet he'd managed to convince his mother to let him have.

You had to deflect. He couldn't know you were upset at not seeing him, although you were nearly certain he must have worked it out already. You shrugged dismissively, looking back at the daisy chain in your hands. Your thumbnails were stained with green from the plant stems, but you were still determined to finish it. You were making it for him, as a crown, because you knew he'd keep it until the flowers wilted, and then he'd get the flowers pressed and he'd put them in his scrapbook. He was such a good friend. His scrapbook was full of mementos of the two of you, even sometimes extending to the whole group - you and Felix, your friends, and Chris and his friends. It was mostly full of just the two of you, though.

"Sorry, Lixie. I guess I'm not all there today. Sorry," You mumbled. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying about Rochester and how he's a possessive asshole- no, you know what, that's not important. What's on your mind, sugarplum?" The cheesy nickname worked exactly how he intended it to, making you giggle and your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You nudged his tummy softly with your elbow, the silk brushing against your skin and making goosebumps rise on your arms. Felix dog-eared the page of the book that he was reading from and shut it softly, placing it beside you both. It was one habit of Felix's that you absolutely hated - like, how could he sleep with a clear conscience knowing that he had creased the delicate pages of so many classics? You'd given him so many bookmarks over the years, even personalised ones that you'd crafted in your spare time with both of your names on, but he always lost them or claimed he'd forgotten them in your book club outings. He leaned back on his palms, smiling down at you fondly. You shifted, turning slightly to see him better. You felt the soft cotton of the navy and white plaid picnic blanket brush against the bottom of your bare legs. You weren't really allowed to wear short skirts, or low cut tops, but on a summer's day like this you were permitted to wear a knee length skirt, so long as it was a thick fabric. Nothing too revealing was allowed.

You hummed in response to him, finding him still staring at you. "You want me to be honest, Pixie?"

Felix giggled at his own cheesy nickname, then nodded eagerly, strands of hair falling over his face before he pushed them back. His forehead had a thin sheen of sweat adorning it. "I always want you to be honest with me."

You ignored the butterflies causing a storm in your stomach over the statement. He was so understanding, so sweet - he always had been, like when he would bandage up your scraped knees or comfort you when something went wrong in your favourite TV show. He was even understanding during one of your many nights of debauchery, when you'd all been playing Seven Minutes in Heaven like the horny teenagers you were and you'd been picked to go in with Felix. You'd been bright red, stuttering and giggling nervously about how you'd never had your first kiss and Felix understood, rubbing your arm softly with his dainty hand and insisting you didn't have to do anything that you weren't ready for. You were so embarrassed, but he made you feel so at ease, and you'd both sat in the storage closet and gossiped about Chris instead.

That was the moment you'd fallen in love with him, you think. You were fifteen.

"I'm worried," You admitted, finally letting the flower chain drop from your fingertips and onto your tummy. Felix instantly shot up. His smile had fallen, and he was now looking at you with a concerned look, brushing hair back from your face and tucking it behind your ear. The butterflies started fluttering even faster, if it was possible. You looked up into his brown eyes, and you looked at his freckles, thinking about the many times you'd tried to count every single one. This was your best friend. This was the love of your life. Your Prince, as you affectionately called him in your head. You could be honest with him. If you couldn't, who could you be truthful with? "I'm worried because I know you're getting married soon. We barely see each other as it is anymore, and I miss you, to be honest. It will be soon, won't it?"

Felix hummed. He nodded thoughtfully, eyes drifting to the daisy chain on your tummy. You saw a small smile at the end of his lips as his fingers brushed over it. He knew it was for him. He'd made you many over the years, too, and you'd kept them in your own scrapbook, despite it being much emptier than his. "It will be soon. My mother is picking the right candidate at the moment. But..."

You furrowed your eyebrows. He hadn't looked back at you, still gazing at the daisy chain and beginning to rub reassuring circles on your side. "... But?"

The smile finally formed on his lips. "You do realise you're her top option, right?"

You shot up from his lap, eyes widening. Felix bit his lip, holding in a laugh. He was laughing at you, that bastard, but it did make sense. You were the Queen's favourite, and she knew how close you and Felix were. She wasn't a nasty or a ruthless Queen. She was a people person, she always donated money to charity and the homeless rating in your country was literally almost zero. She'd done so much for people since she was in power, and she never cared about status - not that it had ever affected you, but she did treat everyone as her equals. She was like Felix in that way, a sweetheart, and she always permitted you and Felix to go on journeys wherever you wanted, so long as you kept safe and there was a guard in the area, just in case. There was one in the meadow with you now, but you couldn't even see them from where you were sitting. She was just... so cool, down to earth. She understood what it was like to be young, within reason.

You were flustered. Your brain had instantly gone to thinking of getting married to Felix, spending nights with him but not in the way you used to, and even... Well, you had to consummate the marriage, didn't you? You were extremely inexperienced in that department, save for a few drunken childish kisses with Chris' friend Changbin when you were just a bit younger, but you still found your mind racing and going through your deepest, darkest fantasies. Fantasies that you would never entertain outside of shoving a hand down your underwear in your bed at night and whining into the satin pillows. You had to hide that you were thinking about that, what the fuck is wrong with you? Time to deflect.

"Well, she does love me," You said boldly. Felix shook his head, punching you in the arm, perhaps a bit harder than he meant to because you let out a hiss and punched him back too hard, in the leg. His smile dropped, groaning and grabbing the spot on his shin where you'd hit him. "But, would you be okay with that, Lixie? It's... me. We'd be like... you know."

"Married? Well, yeah," Felix laughed, still holding his leg. You sighed, giving him a flat look. You needed to keep yourself occupied, so you picked up the daisy chain on the blanket and started to fiddle with it again, threading it through with nimble fingers. Felix finally let go of his leg, throwing himself onto his side so he was lying down on the blanket and facing you. He'd started to fiddle with the cover of the book. Another thing you were getting prepared to tell him off about. "I know what you mean. Honestly, though? I can't think of anyone better to do it with," You felt yourself suppressing a smile at his words, said lowly in that deep voice of his. Everytime he said something like that, your brain instantly went to shit, he liked me back, and you couldn't have that showing on your face when you knew deep down that wasn't the truth. He was unattainable- no, wait, now he wasn't that unattainable, now that you've actually stopped being angsty and depressing and actually thought about it. "I mean, you are my best friend, sugarplum."

You let out a fake laugh at his use of that stupid nickname again, and it seemed to placate him. Best friend. Yeah. Because one thing you hadn't thought about during your insane train of thought, one thing you had always considered and had been the main factor in not confessing to him, was that you couldn't risk ruining the friendship you had built up with him for sixteen years.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Unattainable. He was unattainable. You felt yourself mulling over that thought over and over as you paced in your bedchambers, in your silly Disney pyjamas that now barely fit you and you would never let anyone see. You had no one you could even talk to about this. It was clearly royal intel, secret information, and the only person you could have possibly talked to now never comes around anymore because Chris decided to get fucking married and now spends most of his time boning his wife for an heir. Or just because he likes boning her, you weren't sure, but Felix told you that he'd heard enough through the walls to know that boning was definitely occuring every night. Anyway, Changbin wasn't around much anymore, and he was your top confidant - bar Felix.

You liked living in the palace, but would you like living there as a Princess? Well, fuck yeah, obviously. It was like something out of The Princess Diaries, one of your favourite films which you and Felix had watched over and over. He hated it. You had a good, solid reputation. You were a high member of society due to your mother's job, and you and your mother were even placed on the royal side of the palace for your living quarters. You had a massive bedroom, an extravagant en suite with a relaxing bathtub and a sitting room with a huge TV that you and your mother always curled up in front of. How could it even get any better? You had seen Felix's room, when you were younger, but it kind of became unspokenly forbidden when you got to your teenage years, lest something gets out of hand. You understood it, actually. You'd been going through enough hormones to know that you had definitely come dangerously close to propositioning him a few times.

You had propositioned Changbin, obviously. You two had your first kisses together, and also a few drunken kisses, but you'd ended up as just friends. He was probably the only one who knew about your feelings for Felix, and he admitted you weren't his type anyway. You were sure he was in love with Felix's friend, Hyunjin, but you never commented on the way he looked at Hyunjin like he'd hung the stars in the sky. You couldn't really say anything either, knowing full well that you looked at Felix the same.

You needed to speak to Changbin. The unbearable amount of anxiety at not knowing was mounting in you. But it hit you, then, in the middle of your pacing and chewing on your thumbnail. You looked at the copy of Jane Eyre that Felix had given you, placed on your bed. Your mother knew. She had to have known you were a choice, surely, and she hadn't even told you?

You shook your head, resuming pacing. You couldn't blame her. Felix wasn't even meant to tell you. It made sense, though - you'd received pretty much the same education as a royal, and you and Felix were inseparable. You knew you had the etiquette, the social skills (thanks to Felix). You were pretty much a Princess without being a Princess. It had to be you, right?

Did you want it to be you?

You threw yourself onto your bed, wrapping the soft pillow around your head and screaming incoherently into the fabric. It didn't help. Who were the other choices? You thought of other girls who lingered around the palace, ones that had definitely had crushes on your Prince growing up and had given him fleeting glances with blushed cheeks and an agape mouth. None of their names even came to mind. Maybe a Princess from another country, for a marriage of creating alliances? You could see the Queen considering that. She was always very logical, but you also knew she had her son's best interests in mind. Chris had married a Princess from a different Kingdom, actually, but his marriage wasn't even arranged. He'd been in love with her since they were teenagers, and they could only meet once or twice a year in arranged legal meetings. You remember them having perhaps not so quiet dates together. Everyone knew, and when they announced their engagement everyone was happy but not surprised. Felix had taken too long to find a wife, and even the thoughtful Queen couldn't let that slide. People were asking questions, personal questions about his demeanour and whether he was off putting, and she couldn't deflect the questions for much longer.

You hadn't even noticed you'd drifted off, and you woke up to your face still smushed in the pillow. You immediately inhaled sharply upon waking up, taking in the light outside. You'd drooled all over your pillow, leaving a huge wet patch and your hair was knotted every which way, making you look like you'd been dragged backwards down the hedge. Damn. Thinking too hard has taken its toll on you, really.

A knock on the door made you spring up from your bed, smoothing down your hair with one hand, before another three knocks came in succession and you paused your movements. It was yours and your mother's secret knock - one knock, then three quick ones after. She'd seen you in worse states. Much worse states, even hungover states that you'd cried over while she held a bucket to your head and had promised to keep it a secret. You padded over to the door, opening it slightly just to make sure it was in fact, her. It was, obviously. Not even Felix knew your secret knock.

She came in and sat on the big armchair in front of the fire. Neither of you had said anything. You stood awkwardly, wringing your hands. She finally looked at you, a kind look on her face.

"I have two things to say," She smiled. You loosened up a bit, realising that it was just your mother. She'd always been stuck by you. It had been only the two of you, after all. It was all you knew. You nodded, rushing over to sit cross legged in front of her like a child. "First of all, the Queen would like to meet with you in an hour. Second of all, you're seriously still wearing those Dumbo pyjamas? The legs aren't even long enough anymore, I can see your knees, they're meant to be trousers not shorts-"

You blinked owlishly. Her rant went in through one ear and out the other, before she realised you weren't listening. She sighed. You blinked again, pulling the ends of your pyjama trousers absentmindedly to try and make them longer. "The Queen... wants to meet with me?"

Your mother nodded. She wasn't giving anything away by her face, but she definitely knew. She knew. She knew what you were going to be told. God, why couldn't she just ignore her job duties for once and be a fucking mother? You chided yourself mentally, she was a great mother. But you were frustrated. You needed to know now, not in an hour!

"Just... just me, and her?" You questioned, cocking your head to the side. Your mother shook her head, fingernails picking at a loose thread on her skirt. She was avoiding eye contact. What the fuck is going on?

Oh God, it's not you, is it? Fuck.

"Felix will be there," Your mother stated. She jumped up sharply. "I'll help you pick an outfit, dear. Come." She beckoned you to the armoire in the corner and you followed dutifully.

Your mother began to flick through pieces of fabric hanging off of hangers, and you tried to ignore the anxiety now mounting again in the pit of your stomach.

You so badly wanted it to be you. Just for once, you wanted to be selfish.

An hour later, on the dot, you stood outside the main hall. It was where everyone - royalty and staff alike - ate food together. That was, again, one of the kind Queen's rules. It was also where her throne was, where she had meetings with people. You'd never been on the receiving end of such a formal meeting, but one of the Queen's maids had come and collected you from your room five minutes before the allocated time. You'd managed to run a brush through your hair, thank God, and your mother had put you in a baby blue pinafore dress that came down to mid-knee on top of a white long sleeved turtleneck. The turtleneck was far too warm for the weather, but you knew the Queen would appreciate the conservative outfit. You stared down at the Mary Jane's on your feet.

You shut your eyes, trying to control your breathing, before realising you really couldn't afford to be late. Maybe you'd fucked up and done something wrong. You raised your hand, knocking softly on the door, but it swung open with the small force of your knock. The Queen sat on her throne, flipping through the pages of a book. Your Prince stood behind her, leaning over the throne, pointing at certain pages and giggling. She was smiling fondly at the pages, rubbing her fingertips over certain ones and mumbling statements to her son. She'd began to age slightly, with wrinkles adorning her eyes and mouth, but she didn't look any less beautiful. She had long, dark hair and freckles, just like Felix, but her smile was as kind as Chris'.

Oh? They seemed happy, at least.

You cleared your throat. The Queen, her Majesty, looked up at you and smiled acknowledgingly, shutting the book on her lap. She beckoned for you to come in and you did a small curtsy before shuffling into the lavish room. You could smell the kitchen from here, and you knew the cooks were whipping up something fierce by the enticing smell of it. You hadn't had time to have breakfast, because you'd slept in, and lunch was still around two hours away. You hoped your stomach wouldn't grumble too loud as you eventually approached the throne.

Felix smiled at you. He was wearing a similar pair of dress slacks to yesterday, but this time his silk shirt was a baby blue, the Kingdom's colours. A silver chain rested on his neck and you took note of the earrings dangling from his ears - another impulse decision you'd both done when you were younger. You know Felix had gotten in trouble for it at first, but the Queen seemed to be buying him a lot of expensive earrings lately. She knew what it was like to be young, after all. You smiled back awkwardly, rubbing your sweaty hands on your pinafore. It was then you realised you were in the Kingdom's colours too. Very patriotic of your mother.

"You want some tea, sugarplum?" Felix's voice drew you out of your thoughts, and you winced at the nickname. In front of his mother? In front of the Queen? Seriously? Your eyes seemed to convey a similar message to him, a flat glare, but he simply giggled. You saw him pouring from a teapot into a dainty teacup, and reverted your eyes to the Queen. She was still looking down at the book in her lap, and you looked down at it in confusion.

It was the scrapbook Felix made for the two of you. It was full of pictures from when you were younger to now, full of cinema tickets from secret outings and full of pressed flowers. Some of your favourite book quotes had even made it into there, scrawled in both of your handwritings. Even your school graduation pictures were in there. You'd been sent to a private school for the upper society, obviously, but you still had a normal graduation - albeit small, and full of snobby people.

"Thank you for meeting me, your Majesty," You were babbling in awkwardness. Oh, God. It was like word vomit, you couldn't stop it. "I'm really glad to meet with you today. I'm just wondering, have I done something wrong? You never ask to meet me."

The Queen laughed, her eyes forming crescent moons exactly the same as Felix's. Felix appeared at your side then, handing you a small teapot with what looked like peach tea in it. Your favourite, because of course, your Prince remembers that. You awkwardly shifted on one foot to the other, taking small sips of the tea to try and cool your nerves and almost screaming because it was still scalding hot. Felix was trying to hold in a laugh beside you, you could tell without even looking at him. Bastard.

"You haven't done anything wrong, sweetheart," The Queen's voice was soft, and she was now looking at you, taking in your outfit. She nodded approvingly. "You look lovely, very sophisticated. I believe I've made the right choice."

Your cheeks burned red. No. Fucking. Way. "T-The right choice? Do you mean...?"

The Queen beckoned over one of her staff members and they scurried over in a similar manner to the way your mother would have done. They placed a box in her hands, a small black velvet box that looked like it could be opened seamlessly. A... ring box? "I apologise, sweetheart. I've kept you in the dark a little bit with all of this. Would you bring her a chair, dear? A comfortable one."

The staff member scuttled over to grab a small chair with a red pillow on top of it and placed it behind you. You looked to your left side, still in shock, and the staff member simply smiled and motioned to the chair. You muttered a thanks in acknowledgement and sat on the pillow. Damn, the chair was comfortable. Felix was still standing, watching you hold your teacup awkwardly in a sweaty hand. He looked like he was about to die of laughter. God, you hated him so much, but you also really didn't. He just loved to tease you.

Maybe he would in bed, too-

"So, as you probably know, our favourite boy hasn't found someone to court yet," The Queen began speaking once you were sat down. Felix groaned, and his mother simply laughed. "Hush, now, sweetheart."

"Mum, you said you wouldn't be mean-"

Their dynamics always amazed you. She took the piss out of him, to put it quite literally, but in such an eloquent manner it could be easily missed as them having a difficult relationship. They didn't. He was a mummy's boy, through and through. It was one of the things you loved about him. You could tell a lot about a man from the way he treated his mother.

"Felix, hush now," She admonished again, but the smile on her face didn't leave. Felix mumbled something and then went back over to the side to fiddle with the teapots. Good, he should feel awkward. You looked at her outfit, beautiful in an ornate sense, pearl clips pinning her long, dark hair up so you could see the freckles on her face that matched your Prince. "I took it upon myself to find Felix a bride. I hope you don't think I'm cruel for doing so, I do have my baby's best interests in mind."

Felix groaned, putting his face in his hands. "'M not a baby-"

"You always will be to me, sweetheart. But it was time to get you courting, to get you married. I couldn't do that when you're always gallivanting discussing books with this one now, could I?" Your cheeks burned. You started to stutter out an apology, but she held up a hand to stop you. "Nonsense, sweetheart. Your friendship is one I've always admired. You're inseparable, and it is lovely to see you both so happy. You know that I value your mother highly, also."

You nodded, grinning. You felt a bit more at ease at the praise. The tea had also cooled down slightly too, so you started to sip it again, ignoring the way Felix was intently watching you with an evil smile to see if you'd burn your tongue again.

"Then, I thought about it. I thought, well, I do value your mother extremely highly, and you've been very helpful as of late. Obviously, that is because this one isn't taking up all of your time again," She nodded her head towards Felix. It was such an informal motion that you laughed in shock, and she giggled, a chiming similar to Felix's laugh that shouldn't have come from a middle aged woman who was literally the top of society. You still weren't completely getting at what she was saying, but you were enjoying the conversation. It was just praise, praise, praise. Amazing. "So, I want to offer you something. I want you to know you can decline, and you and your mother will remain here in your current roles. It would make me very happy, however, if you agreed to marry Felix."

You blinked. Okay, yeah, you kind of knew that's what she was getting at, but still - coming out of her mouth you thought you were going to have a heart attack. Your eyes flitted to Felix, who was simply nodding at you in encouragement, eyes widened. He... what, had he convinced her with that scrapbook? He wanted to marry you? Ugh, he probably just wanted to marry you so he didn't have to marry someone he didn't know. He doesn't even know you like him like that. But... a little part of you wanted to be selfish. You scratch his back by not letting him marry someone he's not close with, and he scratches yours by at least pretending to be in love with you. Could you deal with that, though? The pretending?

You nodded in acknowledgement at what the Queen said, looking at your tea again. The tea leaves were floating around in the liquid, mocking you, as if saying you were so fucking dumb. Of course you were going to say yes. "Um... may I ask, your Majesty, what would happen if I said no?"

You refused to look at Felix. The Queen hummed, looking down at the box in her lap. Oh, that was a ring box, definitely. Funny, in a weird way. "Well, this way, if you got married, you'd be able to spend a lot of time together. You'd see each other a lot. You'd be happy. If you decline... I'd have to find someone else for him to-"

"I'll do it," You grimaced at cutting the Queen off, but you couldn't even bear to think of him with someone else. Instead of chiding you, she beamed from ear to ear, and Felix rushed over to you.

He leaned down, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in for a hug. He felt so soft, all silk and soft skin, but you knew what was underneath that shirt. You'd seen it, and now you were definitely going to see everything else. He smelled of lavender and orange blossom, that expensive perfume he's always spraying on himself, but you could smell notes of the flowers in the meadow that were still left on his skin from yesterday.

Okay, yeah, you could get used to this.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You didn't get a proper engagement, but that was alright. You'd been given the ring pretty much straight away after your meeting, and when you'd got back to your room after lunch your mother was still there, but now she was gushing, almost bouncing off the walls.

The ring was beautiful. Even using that adjective felt like an understatement. It was clearly an heirloom, passed through generations. The gem in the middle was blue tourmaline, and whilst it matched the Kingdom's colour it was extremely rare - or so you thought, you weren't sure - and it was surrounded by a cluster of diamonds and placed on a thin gold band. You'd always dreamed of getting engaged, even letting yourself think about getting engaged to Felix sometimes, when you were feeling particularly selfish. You always thought it would happen on the meadow, or on your guys' beach that you'd had less time to go to these days because it was further out. You didn't think you wanted it to be pretty lavish, just you two, so you weren't that angry about just being given the ring and told to prepare for an outing with Felix later on. He was your safe place, and you did want to talk privately about the engagement, so you weren't too angry.

You thought about it a lot, looking down at the gem glinting in the light. Your mother had left, and you were now just sitting at your vanity staring at your own hand. The public knew who you were. They knew you were Prince Felix's best friend, and more than a few people had deemed you two as soulmates, people from a similar status who were bound to fall in love and get married. Now, it just felt very one sided. You knew you were in love with Felix, and you'd agreed to the marriage with little thought, but now you felt a bit anxious. How were you going to pretend not to love him when you had to sleep next to him every night? Or when you had to go on dates with him? The engagement would be formally announced tomorrow, with the outing tonight being specifically for you to wear the ring in the public's eye and for you two to dial up the romance and get people speculating. The engagement party was planned to take place tomorrow night after the announcement, with everyone important there.

It was a beautiful ring. You just weren't sure you could pretend any more. You were sick of pretending to just view him as a friend.

When the night rolled by, you'd dressed in something a bit cosier - not too warm, because the nights weren't getting cold much anymore. You'd switched your pinafore and long sleeve for a thin knitted jumper and some long linen trousers, throwing a long but light jacket on top. You had to look sophisticated, respectful even. You deemed you looked alright after tucking the jumper into the trousers and adorning a belt, and when you swung the door open to your room, Felix was stood there.

He'd also put on a thin jumper in lieu of his thin billowing silk shirts, but he still looked just as good in the blue cable knit staring you in the eyes. He'd even put on a long coat just like yours. It was like you were matching, but you hadn't intended to. You looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and you swore you'd never seen him look happier, not even when you'd moan in delight eating his homemade brownies or when you'd go sick after eating too many of said brownies because they were too good. His hair was neatly styled, pulled back in a stylish half up-half down ponytail, with a few strands dangling in his face.

"Hey, sugarplum," He spoke, voice low. You groaned, pushing him out of the doorway and leaving the room, shutting the door behind you. He laughed in delight at your annoyance and linked arms with you. It was then you noticed he had a flower in his hand - just one stem, but the meaning was enough to almost make you cry.

"Oh my God, Felix, is that-"

"Baby's breath," He unlinked his arm with you, passing the stem to you. When you two were younger, you'd been entranced by the baby's breath growing in your meadow and you'd both been determined it was the work of fairies. It was too beautiful to be normal, and you and Felix had collected them endlessly until there was basically none left. You called them fairy flowers, and that's sort of where Felix's nickname had come from - your mother had called him Pixie affectionately when he'd revealed that he really thought these flowers were part of a fairy's little garden. He pretended to hate it, but you know he secretly loved it when you called him that. Chris had told you.

"You remembered. We used to call them fairy flowers," You brushed your hand over the flower, grinning at the softness. Felix chuckled, whispering a 'yeah'. He quickly pinched the flower from you again, tucking it behind your ear. You quite literally swooned, smiling up at his own beaming face. It got a bit awkward for you then though, because you couldn't even pretend not to be in love with him now, before you're even married. You found yourself in a state of word vomit again. "Jeez, dial down the PDA, Romeo. We're not even outside yet."

You walked off, leaving Felix trailing after you laughing at your words. "'Jeez'? What are you, a frat boy? You need to stop reading fanfictions, you know," He slung his arm around your waist, leading you out of the palace grounds. You rolled your eyes, ignoring him, but you leaned in closer to his touch. Tonight was meant to just be a late night walk, full of holding hands and perhaps acting like normal people getting some street food from a dodgy merchant that would give you a bad tummy for a few days. Once you'd left the ornate gates, with one of the guards waving you both goodbye, you started to walk down the street and into the busier part of town. The palace wasn't too far from the hustle and bustle of the city, because again, the Queen apparently loved to be normal. People came to the palace all the time and took pictures and whatnot, but they were never allowed into the actual building. That was too far, and a danger to security.

You both began to walk, feeling the much cooler breeze blow through your hair and rattle the petals upon your ear. It was a bit ticklish, but he'd put it there, so it was staying there. His arm stayed around your waist, but it was comforting. You'd done stuff like this a million times. You were both extremely affectionate and loved touch anyway, so it wasn't strange. Of course, it felt different. You were engaged to him now. You could like... kiss, and stuff. You felt like a high school girl kicking her legs and twirling her hair over her crush, but you decided you were going to allow it because you were still young, and still yet to have a lot of your firsts with someone.

Once you got to a street where there were a few people milling around, Felix motioned to a wooden bench on the side of the path. Overgrown moss and bushes wrapped around it, but it still looked quite cute. "Wanna sit down here for a bit? I think we should probably have a chat, you know. About everything," When you looked at him, he looked embarrassed for once, strange given his usual brazen nature. You found yourself wanting to comfort him, so you nodded, sitting down on the bench and smoothing your trousers down. He sat next to you, turning to face you on the bench and fiddling with the cuffs of his coat.

"Felix, are you okay about marrying me?" You blurted out. "I mean, I know you probably don't want to marry anyone else, but you won't even get the chance to try to get to know everyone. You're stuck with me."

Felix furrowed his eyebrows. His head snapped up to you. "Um, what the fuck? You're my best friend. I am absolutely okay with getting married to you."

Your chest heaved. You felt reassured, but still not completely relieved. "But... Lixie. We'll have to kiss. And we'll be sharing a bed. You know we have to consummate the marriage, right?"

There was that smirk on his face again. You regretted ever saying anything. "You've been thinking about having sex with me?"

You groaned, putting your head in your hands. You heard Felix chuckling next to you, his shoulders shaking the whole rickety bench. You finally looked up at him, punching him in the leg again. His laughter ceased as he yelped. Good, bastard. "You know what I mean, Lix. We are literally going to have to, or the marriage won't be like, real. Or something, I don't know."

"You do know, you know everything. You're smarter than me," Felix chided you. He sighed, leaning to put his head on your shoulder. "What are you actually worried about? Tell me."

"It's just..." You couldn't say it. But maybe you could, and phrase it differently. A conditional question, to answer the real question inside of you. "What if we fell in love?"

Felix hummed, shutting his eyes softly. "Then everyone would have been right about us."

"Y-You... you wouldn't mind it? What about our friendship?"

He rubbed his cheek against you comfortingly. "It would only be made better, sugarplum," He pulled back, grinning at you. Oh no. That smile meant a Dumb Felix comment was incoming. "Plus, I know you think I'm smoking hot, so-"

"Felix!" You whined. He stuck his tongue out at you cheekily, making you roll your eyes. You turned away from him, staring ahead at a large tree on the other side of the path.

"I mean, we are compatible. Would it be so bad?" He sounded insecure now. You looked at him. His eyes were gleaming from the moonlight, and he did look really nervous. Perhaps... he wants to know if you'd hate him if either of you caught feelings. He wants to know if you think it would ruin your friendship. Honestly? After that conversation, you didn't. You shook your head, smiling softly at him. He stuck his tongue out again, trying to lighten the mood, and you did it back. You both had a fit of giggles afterwards, hitting each other while laughing like you always do.

Then, you saw it. A distinctive flash of a camera behind Felix, towards the end of the path. Oh, yeah, you're meant to be like, loving it up right now. You grabbed Felix's arm, pulling him in.

"Wh- wha-"

You brought his ear to your mouth, looking down at it and whispering. "There's a reporter taking pictures behind you. Don't look, but we should probably be more affectionate."

Felix pulled away, nodding solemnly. You could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he spoke, then a lightbulb going off. "Kiss me."

"H- Huh?!"

"Or, I'll kiss you, I don't mind. But that would really prove a point, wouldn't it? So caught up in each other that we forget royal etiquette?" He'd leaned back more comfortably on the bench, slinging an arm behind you. His fingertips were dancing up your shoulder as you were turned to face him, faces only inches apart. You licked your lips. He licked his own. The flash appeared again. Oh, the reporter liked that.

"Felix... I don't know-"

"I know it's not your first kiss, sugarplum. Can't back out of kissing me now," You internally groaned at the mention of him knowing what you and Changbin had done. Fuck Changbin, stupid blabbermouth. Felix was smirking, looking at you.

"Fuck it. As long as it won't be awkward?"

"We're gonna have to kiss a lot more, may as well kiss now," He shrugged. You shrugged. He was right. Eventually, you nodded. His fingertips carried on tracing shapes on your shoulder - you managed to make out a flower, a heart, maybe even a cat's head. Or a dog's head, you weren't sure. His other hand went up to your chin, fingertips coming to lift your head up to be closer to him once again. His eyes went to yours, a silent question in those deep brown eyes, and you nodded in response.

With that, you were being kissed by your first love. Your one sided love, to be precise, but you actually couldn't find it in you to care. You didn't even realise the camera flashing repeatedly as you pressed your lips against his, a chaste but open mouthed kiss. His lips were extremely soft, and you fluttered your eyes shut and leaned in to get more. He obliged, hand now going to the back of your head to bring you in further. You whimpered at the dominance the grab showed, and he let out a sharp breath of air through his freckled nose in response. You wanted more, so much more. Your lips pressed against each other over and over, a little messy but you liked it like that. Just as you tried to get your tongue against his, he gently pulled away, with one more small peck to your nose.

You were embarrassed when you realised you'd tried to follow him for more kisses. You quickly avoided eye contact, and Felix elbowed you.

"Look at me!" He whined for attention. Ah yeah, same old Felix. You'd forgotten what he was like in that ten second kiss. He still had issues with wanting to be the centre of attention. You looked at him awkwardly, fists clenched in your sweaty palms. You almost felt bad the beautiful ring had to live there. Once you'd looked at him, his sad face fell and he smirked. "Good, huh?"

"W-Was I... good? I've only ever kissed Changbin," You admitted, grimacing. Felix sat up sharply, putting a hand on your knee. You almost flinched away to try and sedate your own sexual desires, but he would get suspicious.

"Uhhh, yes! It was good, I really enjoyed that. Thank you for doing that for me," Felix comforted. When you nodded in response, he grabbed your chin again and placed another peck on your lips. "I... honestly? I kind of wouldn't mind kissing you again."

The boy's boldness shocked you everyday, and you'd known him for sixteen years. "For... for practice, right? When we're married, we're gonna have to do it loads, so-"

"Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. For practice," Felix agreed. He was nodding eagerly. He suddenly shifted, looking down at the watch on his wrist. "Aw, shit. We should probably head back. Wanna watch a film in your room when we get back?"

You grinned. Back to the same old. This was better, though now you knew you'd be thinking about being on your back with him on top of you making out while you were watching a film. Quickly, you realised something. "That will look so sus though, now that we're engaged."

"We'll keep it a secret," He wiggled, elbowing you. You found yourself laughing, jumping up to walk back to the palace. You held your outstretched hand to him.

"Your majesty?"

"Ah, yes, my fine maiden," Felix giggled, sliding off the bench to grab your hand. You both started to walk to the edge of the path, skipping along as if you had no cares in the world. You heard rustling, probably the sounds of the reporter leaving.

You hoped you'd done okay. You hoped you'd made it believable. Well, you probably had, given your actual feelings - but had Felix?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You'd woken up the next day with a piece of popcorn stuck to your forehead and another person snoring next to you. You blinked yourself awake drearily, leaning up on your palms and looking around your room. Your TV had turned onto standby, and you looked to your right. Felix was in your room. Felix was in your bed. You'd- oh, no. You'd totally just fallen asleep watching a movie, nevermind. Totally fine.

No, actually. Totally not fine!

You shrieked, grabbing Felix's slender waist and wiggling him awake. He'd borrowed a pair of your more comfortable clothes and the t-shirt had been just a bit too small, riding up with every move and now exposing nearly his whole tummy. You tried to ignore it, continuing to shake him awake. The piece of popcorn stuck to your forehead fell onto the bed with an unceremonious noise and you groaned. Eventually, after what felt like hours of shaking your best friend, he opened his eyes and gave you a wide smile, pulling you in for a cuddle. You ignored how lovely it felt and tried to get him to regain consciousness and morality.

"Felix."

"Hmm?"

"You are in my bed."

"I know, dummy- Oh." Felix shot up, nearly sending you flying off the bed. His hand landed on the piece of popcorn, crumbling it into your pristine white sheets. You tried not to cry. His eyes widened, staring at you. "What's the- have you checked your phone? What's the time?"

You shook your head, reaching over to grab your phone. You seldom went on your phone, preferring to read and spend time with Felix, but you had it in case of emergencies and also sometimes for TikTok, but you'd never admit that. You blinked. 11am.

You'd missed breakfast, but you also had zero missed calls or texts on your phone. No one had woken you? Weird. You flipped the screen to show Felix, and he leaned in closer. You were brandishing your wallpaper of the two of you on the beach last summer, but you didn't care. He grabbed your phone, entered your passcode and clicked on the phone app.

"No one even tried to wake us?" He asked. You shook your head. He laid back down, seeming weirdly reassured. You didn't question it, slinking up next to him and putting your head on his shoulder. He moved his arm accordingly, pulling you into his chest and still clicking random buttons on your phone. Eventually, he landed on the search tab, and typed in 'news'. Oh, shit. Was it announced?

Yep. In blaring headlines, multiple news media sources were now releasing reports with every single detail of the story, including pictures of the two of you last night. The titles were all similar, going along the lines of "the sweet Prince and beloved best friend confirmed to be engaged!" or "sophisticated best friend and the lovely Prince taking a romantic late night stroll!". You scoffed, clicking on one and scrolling down. The pictures were cute, to be honest. Some even showed the two of you laughing and hitting each other last night, or you two walking home hand in hand and skipping as if you were kids. One picture, however, is what stuck with you. It was the two of you mid-kiss, Felix's hand on the back of your head and his other holding your shoulder, keeping you in place. It was fucking hot.

"Damn, we look good, you know?" Felix mused, zooming in on the picture. You hummed. You did, you couldn't deny that. "My mum was so real for thinking of us getting married. Like, we totally look good together. Imagine our kids."

Imagine what we'll do to make kids, you thought, but you bit your tongue. You giggled, slapping Felix's chest playfully, then a thought came into your stupid lizard brain. "Hey, Lix?"

"Yeah?" He was still scrolling through an article, laughing at some of the sentences. Everyone loved the two of you, but a few were jealous that you'd managed to snag him. Good.

"Did you mean what you said last night? About practice?" Felix's thumb stopped on the screen. His eyes darted to you, his hair still mussed from sleep. He just stared at you, and you lost your nerve. "Sorry. Weird thing to say. I was just wondering-"

"No, not weird. I meant it. You wanna make out? For practice?" Felix locked your phone, chucking it to the end of the bed. You didn't have time to scold him for throwing your things around like that before his hand was carding in your hair, fingertips scratching at your scalp. God, you loved it when he did that. Your eyes shut in bliss. You totally forgot what he asked. "Hey, earth to sugarplum."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure. For practice."

Okay, so you were totally being super selfish. But, you were going to be having sex with him soon. You could do a little making out to prepare, right? You were just a woman, after all. Nothing wrong with that. His fingers gripped your hair with a different intensity then, pulling at the strands slightly, and you choked back a whine. You opened your eyes, looking up at him.

He hummed, looking at you. He tilted his head to the side, thinking. "Maybe... yeah," He grabbed your arm, pulling you over him. He positioned you exactly how he wanted you, on top of him, straddling his hips. His dainty hands went to your waist, rubbing circles. "Yeah, like this. For practice."

"For practice," You agreed solemnly. You were beginning to think that maybe it wasn't for practice. Maybe he just wanted to. He scooted up, leaning up against the pillows so he was sat up and you were sat on top of him. You tried to ignore the fact that you could feel what was going on between his legs through your thin sleep shorts. You couldn't get too wound up during this, just in case it was just for practice. Knotting your hands into the fabric of his - your - white t-shirt, you leaned down, brushing your nose with his. You were being selfish, but bold, but mostly selfish.

Felix's eyes flitted down to your lips, leaning up to place a soft kiss there. You smiled softly, and he returned yours with a smile that could only be described as filled with fondness. You bit your lip, noticing the way his eyes honed in on your teeth and perhaps his grip tightened on your hips just a bit, but he'd always deny it.

"Lixie." You muttered. You were too shy. He knew exactly what you meant, and raised one hand up to grab at the back of your head. He brought your lips to his, attaching his mouth to yours in a way that was completely different from yesterday. Yesterday was for show, but this seemed personal, hungry almost. You decided you were going to take what you could get. You pressed your lips to his harder, making him choke out a noise of surprise. It was messy, again, open mouthed kisses that were nothing akin to precise or experienced, but you could get to know each other, get to know what you liked. Right at that moment, all you knew was that you liked him, and you would be so pissed off if he didn't let you get your tongue in his mouth like he did last night.

Your hands went up to his face, cradling his cheeks in your palms and slipping your tongue into his mouth. Your tongues brushed against each other, and you whined, hips kicking up just slightly before you managed to stop yourself. He grabbed your hips, flipping you over so he was on top of you, not breaking the kiss. His lips kept brushing against yours as his tongue entered your mouth, groaning at the feeling. You couldn't stop breathing heavily through your nose, your hands roaming up his back and landing on his hair, pulling him down to kiss you harder. Your lips felt bruised, swollen, but you never wanted to stop kissing him.

With that thought, he bit your lip, pulling away and letting it release against your teeth. You squirmed, licking your lips excessively to try and stop them feeling so swollen. Felix looked debauched, his hair even more tangled and his lips just as red and swollen as yours. His eyes were dark, staring down at you.

"Baby. Bestie. I'm sorry, but I'm- I'm sorry..." He whispered, his head going to the crook of your neck to place soothing kisses there. He was breathing heavily, shifting ever so slightly on top of you. You felt it then, what he was apologising for. His length was rock hard, the shaft pressing into your core and giving you just the slightest bit of stimulation. "'M so fucking hard, sugarplum, I'm sorry."

"I-It's okay, Lixie. I think I'm... I'm wet, too," You whispered, and he threw his head back, groaning. "Practice makes perfect, y'know. We can keep making out." Felix nodded eagerly, and he grabbed your thighs, linking them around his hips. He ducked to place a few more kisses on your neck, biting a little at the area where your throat met your jaw. You let out a moan, neck bearing to the opposite side to give him full access and he clearly approved, biting harder.

"Baby, c-can I just," He ground his hips into yours, groaning and stuttering his words out. He immediately stopped, looking down at you. "Can I? I can make us both feel good, no sex. We can just grind a little on eachother. I won't put it in, I promise-"

With that, a knock on the door interrupted you both. You were fully prepared to start swinging at whoever was on the other end. Felix looked like he was about to die, cheeks flushed and hair tangled every which way. You both stared at each other in disbelief. Okay, so you had kind of really lost yourself there, and now somebody is at the door while the nation's favourite Prince is currently on top of you grinding into you with full intent to cum. You'd only just announced your engagement. You could've got pregnant before you even got married. Jesus, what is wrong with you? You sighed, moving to sit up, and Felix moved off of you. He ran a hand through his knotted hair.

"I should... fuck, Felix, what do we do?" You knew you both looked the image of lust, lips kiss bitten and swollen and hair everywhere. You could even feel the wet patch in your sleep shorts. Shit, okay.

Felix looked to be holding back a laugh. You felt terrified, but you almost laughed too, in pure disbelief. You both covered your mouths before you shot off the bed, slipping your shorts off your legs and replacing them with a pair of longer trousers from your drawer. You honestly couldn't care less if he'd seen you in your underwear, you'd bathed together when you were younger. You motioned to the en suite dramatically and Felix ran in there instantly, still giggling quietly, locking the door behind him. You shook your head fondly as another knock was firmly punched against the door. Jesus, couldn't even give you a second?

"Coming!" You called, walking over to the door and trying your best to fake yawn loudly so they thought you'd just woken up. When you opened the door, Chris stood there, a happy smile on his face.

"Okay, I'm so coming in! Why didn't you tell me you and Felix are serious now?" He pushed you back into the room, throwing himself onto your bed dramatically. It was quite funny, seeing him lying on the bed you'd just accosted his brother on. He was resting against the messy sheets in a perfect suit and tie. You shook your head, letting out a laugh.

"Okay, we're not. It's an arranged thing, Chris. We're still only best friends," You chose your words wisely, fiddling with the drawstring on your trousers. Chris hummed, giving you a strange look. Changbin. Fucking Changbin, he'd definitely said something. God. "And, why didn't you ask your own brother this? I'm simply an accessory."

"Because my own brother is currently locked inside your bathroom pretending he's not there?" Chris replied instantly. Your eyes widened.

"No, he's not. Why would you even think-"

"Okay, well. I know he is, so," Chris shrugged. You sighed.

"Felix, you can come out," You said. The lock slowly clicked open and Felix emerged, looking sheepish. Thank God the shock of Chris arriving had made his boner go down, so now he didn't look too lustful. He'd also clearly ran your brush through his hair before coming out. You couldn't say the same for yourself.

Felix threw himself down on the bed next to you and Chris, groaning and stretching his limbs. "Did anyone ask where we were?"

Chris chuckled. He fiddled with the wedding band on his left hand. "Yep. I made up an excuse, said you'd gone out for a walk again and were getting food out. I had a feeling you'd both be spending the night together. Princess Diaries again?"

You shook your head. "Nope. It's too real now."

"Mind you, I don't think there was this much 'practising' going on between Mia and her potential husband in the second one," Chris looked up from his hand. You averted your eyes.

"Dunno what you mean-"

"How much did you hear, what the fuck?!" Felix shrieked. Oh, great, thanks.

"I mean, the walls are thin, dude. I heard a lot on my way down the corridor. But, I'm glad you two are having fun with it, at least. Arranged marriages can be shit sometimes," Chris stretched similarly to Felix, before reaching down and clapping Felix on his back harshly. Felix groaned, throwing himself around the bed in protest. "Anyway, I should be off now. Congratulations again, guys. You should probably get ready for the party tonight though."

Chris began to walk out of the room, and Felix stood up.

"I should... go. With him. You know?" You nodded in response to his statement. He waited until Chris had rounded the corner, and leaned down, pressing a swift peck to your lips. You squeaked in surprise, cheeks burning crimson. He giggled, giving you a sweet wave and running off. "See you later, bestie!"

You wondered if you’d ever be permitted to drop the bestie, maybe once you’re married to him, but it couldn’t come soon enough. You wanted to let yourself be selfish just this once.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[colorlessjay]

Here's a Destiel prompt based on a doodle I did but also Chappell Roan:

Dean Winchester is your average picture perfect American boy. Tall, blonde, football team quarterback, Kansas sweetheart with a little brother he's way too over protective of, and a southern drawl he swears he doesn't exaggerate. He's brash and rude, his confidence making him an easy target for over excited crowds and the occasion fights. The girls at school want him when he gives them a wink and a smile, and most guys envy him. Wish they were him.

But Dean had his eyes set on the unattainable

Castiel Novak. the Student body vice president who seems to fly through school like he was above it all. But not in the obnoxious 'I'm better than you' way in most teen movies. No, Castiel radiates an energy. One of pure intent, kindness, and joy that makes people fall for his hypnotic blue eyes

People like Dean, Castiel's best friend, and the guy he confides in more often than not

And Dean hates that he does. Because Castiel,for all his intelligence, was as clueless as they come

So whenever Castiel asks him to wingman for him

It's months worth of heartache and fake smiles as he watches Castiel pull every trick Dean taught him

Because Dean Winchester? He's the practice boy

-----

Castiel, wanting to the full college experience, asks his best friend Dean to help on how to date/seduce girls (Since Dean is really good at it and has been in relationships before. But only to distract from his massive crush on Cas)

And Dean, being a good friend, walks Cas through every step regardless of how much it hurts to flirt with Cas, only for Cas to use those same words and actions on girls

And one day, Cas asks Dean how to kiss. If he'll be a good kisser. Castiel's self conscious about it. Self deprecating and confused cause his lips are always chapped and his hair always a mess. And he's scared he won't close his eyes

And Dean just goes on about how those can be good things. How they're attractive. Blurting out stuff he personally feels about kissing Cas

"Your hair's perfect for kissing, short and soft and perfect to hold"

"If she doesn't like your eyes when you kiss, then she's blind as a bat!"

"Your lips look chapped but I'll bet my Baby they're as soft as the look you get when you see a bee"

"hell! Given the chance, I'd kiss you and I'd be the one left breathless"

And of course, they practice kissing

And Dean was right. It leaves him breathless

Leaves him heartbroken too when he finds Cas kissing Meg the same way a week later

-------

"I can't take it anymore, Cas! I'm so fucking tired of being your goddamn practice dummy!" Dean turns around, finally facing Castiel after he storming off "Yeah, I asked for it. It was fucking stupid to even suggest it, but you can't be so goddamn blind to not see that everything I've said, everything I've taught you, was more then just a shitty flirting lesson to me!"

Castiel stops in his chase, staring at Dean wide eyed as the rain picks up

Dean powers on, pacing and flailing "Fuck me for thinking the way you kissed me meant something then just practice" he laughs humorlessly then lets out a sob

"Fuck, Cas…" Dean looks up. his hand coming down to clutch at his wet shirt. Tears and rain running down his face "It meant something to me… you saying it otherwise doesn't change that… it just makes it hurt"

Castiel stared wide eyed and frozen. His mind flashes back to every interaction, every little touch, every word said between them

And all he could muster up was

"Dean…"

[nocturniashifter]

What makes your dr self so attractive? | PICK A PILE

₊˚๑ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that caught your attention. ₊˚๑ Disclaimer: All readings are done for entertainment only, don't use my readings as a replacement for legitimate advice. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Hello, my angels! How long, right? Well, I'm back with another PAP that just came out of the oven. Thank you for the 400 followers 😔🫶. Ready to discover what makes your dr self so attractive? ;)

⊹ ࣪ ˖ masterlist | book a reading with me | tips

⊹ ꒱ PILE ONE ᨦ ♡

"Wow, y/n is just so charming; you can’t help but want to be around them!"

"Every time y/n talks, it’s like the whole room stops to listen!"

"Y/n has that friendly smile that just makes everyone feel at home; it’s hard not to like them!"

Hey, pile one! First off, let me just say that your beauty in your DR is out of this world – so if you scripted that, it’s definitely doing its thing! You’ve got this striking, almost intimidating presence, whether it’s your looks or the way you carry yourself. Either way, it makes you super attractive to a lot of people in your desired reality. Tons of people have a crush on you – especially if you’re a public figure, like an artist, but even if you’re not, the same applies. You’ve got people who would literally be happy with just a glance or a touch, hoping for any little sign of affection from you. It’s like you’ve got a fan club of simps just waiting for your attention, lol. Seriously, people would crawl at your feet, but don’t let it go to your head, LMAO. That said, be careful, because some of these people might be a bit too obsessed and wouldn’t take rejection lightly – if that worries you, I’d definitely recommend scripting affirmations for safety and protection, especially if you’re in the public eye.

People also think everything you touch turns to gold. They see you as this super successful person who just excels at whatever you set your mind to. You’ve definitely racked up a bunch of wins and achievements in your DR, and that only adds to the image people have of you as someone who thrives. Your voice? People find it incredibly attractive – especially if you’re a singer in your DR. You’ve got that kind of presence where the moment you walk into a room, time seems to stop and everything just brightens up, and all eyes are on you.

What really makes you even more attractive is the fact that you’ve been through so much in life, but you’ve come out on top. Your whole life has been a battle for your dreams, and the fact that you never gave up is something people seriously admire about you. On top of that, you’re great company – you make people feel comfortable and at home when they’re around you, which just adds to your appeal.

But here’s the thing, pile one: you’ve probably broken a lot of hearts lmao. You’re like that unattainable halfway crush that a lot of people are into, but you’re just not reciprocating their feelings, lol. People are constantly trying to be friends with you, and it seems like you even start trends without realizing it. You're definitely leaving your mark wherever you go.

⊹ ꒱ PILE TWO ᨦ ♡

"Y/n has this cool, badass energy that just draws people in; it’s impossible to ignore!"

"Honestly, y/n’s style is on another level; it really shows off their strong personality."

"Y/n isn’t afraid to stand up for what they believe in, and that just makes them even more attractive."

Hello, pile two! Let me start by saying that what makes you so insanely attractive in your desired reality is your aura. You’ve got this powerful, badass vibe that screams, “I don’t give a fuck,” and it’s honestly magnetic. A lot of you in this pile are shifting to more intense realities, maybe an anime or one that’s action-packed/dangerous, and your energy fits perfectly. You come off as someone who’s fearless, and that combined with your style, really makes you stand out – your fashion sense is on point, and it doesn’t just reflect how badass you are, but also how unique and authentic you are. People are drawn to you because you don’t try to fit in; you’re unapologetically yourself, and that confidence is incredibly attractive. You radiate this commanding presence that makes people stop in their tracks. There’s something about you that captivates those around you, like they can’t help but be intrigued by you. People are definitely hypnotized by your vibe – whether it’s your intense stare, your boldness, or just the way you carry yourself like you’ve seen and conquered it all. It’s almost as if the world bends to your will, and trust me, people notice that.

Even though you have this tough, badass exterior, there’s more to you. People also see you as someone who is selfless and would do anything for the greater good – this especially applies if you’re shifting to a reality where you’re a hero or someone who fights battles. You stand for justice, fairness, and equality, and that moral compass of yours only adds to your attractiveness. You have this strong desire to make life better for not only yourself but for the people around you, and that determination is something others admire deeply.

For those who are lucky enough to be close to you, there’s this undeniable sense of loyalty you exude. You’ve got that “I’m all in for you, no matter what” energy, and it’s clear to your inner circle that you would go to extreme lengths for the people you love. You’d take a bullet for them, and they know it. That kind of dedication makes you stand out in a world where loyalty can be hard to find. However, with that loyalty also comes your overthinking nature. You sometimes get anxious and worry too much about things going wrong in your relationships, but that just shows how much you care.

On the flip side, you don’t tolerate any bullshit. If someone’s toxic, you don’t hesitate to cut them off, you have no time or patience for people who try to drag you down, and you’re not afraid to remove yourself from harmful situations, no matter how tough it is. You always find a way out, and that resilience is something people admire about you. It’s like you’re unstoppable, and that only adds to the mystery and allure you bring into every space you enter.

⊹ ꒱ PILE THREE ᨦ ♡

"Every time y/n walks into a room, it’s like they own the place; they really know how to grab attention!"

"I mean, with all that charm and confidence, it’s no wonder everyone is trying to get close to y/n!"

"Y/n just has this way of putting themselves first and cutting out the drama; it’s seriously appealing!"

Hey, pile three! Let’s dive into what makes you incredibly attractive in your desired reality. When you walk into a room, heads turn, and it’s as if the world stops for a moment – people can’t help but admire you. You command attention wherever you go, and your popularity is through the roof. Just like in the other piles, you have this knack for getting what you want, especially when it comes to material things – money is not an issue for you, so you can pretty much buy anything your heart desires. It’s as if the world is at your feet, and that undeniable confidence only amplifies your allure.

However, with great popularity, fame, and wealth, there are those who might approach you out of pure interest or ulterior motives. It’s essential to stay vigilant because not everyone has your best interests at heart. Some people may want to be around you just to use you or bask in your glow, so it’s vital to discern who your true friends are. Just like in pile one, many people desire you, but you come across as somewhat unattainable, which only fuels their admiration and frustration when they realize you won’t reciprocate their feelings. You’ve got this vibe that screams, “Someone is going to be heartbroken today, but it won’t be me!” because you know how to prioritize yourself above all else.

Your badass energy comes from everything you’ve been through; you’ve learned to fight and emerged stronger. You absolutely do not tolerate any bullshit, especially in relationships. If someone isn’t treating you right, you won’t hesitate to cut them off. This attitude extends beyond romantic partnerships; it applies to every aspect of your life. You’ve learned your worth and have no problem walking away from toxic situations or people who don’t respect you. For you, life is about enjoying every moment, and you live it to the fullest. If you were to end a relationship, you’d be out celebrating while your ex sits at home, missing you – that’s just the energy you exude – free and unapologetic. You’ve literally built your own empire, which is incredibly attractive. Each challenge you’ve faced has only added to your strength and resilience, and people are drawn to that. Interestingly, you look especially stunning when you wear red; it highlights your confidence and adds to that fierce energy you naturally possess.

If you have a s/o in your desired reality, they absolutely adore you and feel incredibly lucky to call you theirs. They see you as irresistible and find it hard to contain their excitement when they’re around you. Your presence lights up their day, and they think about you constantly, eagerly awaiting those moments together. Expect plenty of passionate encounters because they’ll make it clear that they love you deeply, wanting to show you just how much you mean to them. In their eyes, no one could ever love you as profoundly as they do, and they are determined to prove it every chance they get 😏.

That was it, guys! I really hope you liked it. See you next time! ♡

© nocturniashifter - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | moodboard

[nayatarot777]

how do they view you? • love/crush pick-a-card

i don’t do love readings usually (because they’re just usually not of interest to me) but i’m trying to soften my heart so here’s a lil something for you guys 😂

• pile one •

your person views you as someone who can be very verbally defensive or someone who can really hurt people with their words. the things that you say could be very harsh or damaging. i’m also seeing that they may view you as argumentative, whether this energy is directed towards them or other people. they do view you as very unattainable to them - perhaps because of all of this energy - but they also see you as extremely intuitive and psychic. you know things that not just anyone could see or know. they also feel like you’re quick to speak up for yourself when you realise that some bs is going on. and i feel like they recognise that situations that someone is trying to bully you in or play you in some way are the situations when you can get very vicious with your words. you’re quiet and perceptive for the most part until you need to defend yourself. there’s another card about you having very strong boundaries and being defensive - again, whether this is just with them or other people. this plays into the viewpoint of you being unattainable for them. you don’t play about your energy so when someone fucks with your energy you’re quick to put them back in their place and put up boundaries between the two of you. they view you as someone who doesn’t play around. i’m living for your energy, pile one, i’m ngl 😂. dark feminine energy to the fullest 👏🏾

this person might not know how to feel about you. they have multiple feelings about you that they can’t really make sense of. they also view you as someone who has many options in your love life. like you could have anyone that you want. and that’s probably from your high standards and your boundaries. because they know that you know this already. they view you as someone who’s emotions mix with their logic. they believe that if it doesn’t make sense for you to love someone - you won’t. it’s as simple as that. i feel like you guys aren’t the people who can easily be played because you won’t allow yourself to be played again and again by the same person. you have too much awareness of your worth and what you’re deserving of for that bullshit. they feel like you’re quick to cut off people who you’re romantically involved with if they try to play games with you. you’re not one of those people who settle for less than what you know you’re deserving of. you’re extremely loving. but you’re not a fool with your love. you rationally think about where and who you should direct it to. who deserves it and who doesn’t. so whoever’s coming towards you needs to come correct. periodddd 💅🏾

i love this 🤭

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

• pile two •

your person views you as extremely self-sufficient. self-sufficient in terms of your finances, physical stability, and/or your self esteem. they don’t view you as someone who relies on another person for anything that you know you can give to yourself. and even if you feel like you can’t give something to yourself in the current moment, you will find a way to get it for yourself. you could definitely be in a relationship with this person already. if so, then they feel like you’ve helped them to build a really successful life with you. you’ve made it easy to create a happy life, a happy home, and/or a happy family. for those of you who haven’t done those things with this person, then they view you as someone who they could have a really good relationship with. because they believe that you’re very good at teamwork. at working with someone to create stability. they may feel like your independence and your hard work to build stability for yourself is fuelled by a lot of pain and trauma. perhaps childhood trauma from when you didn’t have (or were prevented from having) stability and happiness growing up. for someone specific, this person knows about a divorce or a splitting of your family - whether this is your split or your parents’. and they believe that’s why you prioritise your self-stability and creating happy connections and spaces for you to thrive in.

you’re a go-getter, pile two. you have extremely strong masculine energy regardless of your gender. they view you as a creative. a visionary that will always go after your goals in the most efficient way possible. they also view you as a great leader. especially if you’re a boss/managers/in a position of authority at work. or if you’re the one who primarily runs things in your household. they just view you as someone who’s constantly knowing how to direct people to work together to create harmony in the workplace or at home. and if not, then they just view you as someone who has mastered self-governance (another thing that you could’ve been prevented from in the past). they view you as someone who has been through a lot in life. someone who has been hurt and beaten down repetitively. but you’re still standing and putting in the work to maintain yourself in life. you’re not someone who gives up despite all of the bs that’s thrown your way. due to all of your negative experiences and trauma, you’re someone with extremely strong boundaries. someone who’s very protective of self and of the people who you love and care for (such as your family). if any of you are parents, this person views you as a mama/papa bear 😂. they feel sorry for anyone who tests your kids lmaoo. they can tell that you’re someone who fights your hardest to defend your loved ones from the feelings and experiences that you’ve had to endure yourself. there’s a lot of respect for you from this person because of your history - and because you’ve accumulated so much self respect for yourself despite all of this.

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

• pile three •

just like pile one, your person views you as someone who knows how to defend yourself in arguments or from verbal attacks. there’s also something about you being stubborn with your beliefs or what you know. once you know something about someone or a situation, nobody can tell you shit. you stick to what you know and what you believe. you’re not easily manipulated. you’re someone who’s also an extremely hard worker. you’re viewed by this person as someone who’s focused on really perfecting your craft. maybe even a perfectionist as a character trait. and now i’m hearing “one track mind”. when you’re focused on something, you’re FOCUSED. they believe that you have a lot of places that you want to go in life, and it seems like you’re always moving forward onto the next thing to work on and perfect. they see you as someone who has the whole world in your hands and you’re not stopping for anyone.

they feel like they don’t know that much about you. like you’re secretive (whether this is purposeful or not). they can’t just guess your personality or what type of person you are with other people like they might be able to with others. they do view you as someone who’s extremely sweet and kind though. and this might surprise them in a way, because it’s not commonly seen from you - at least to them. there’s a masculine energy to you that has flickers of really feminine, sweet, loving energy - and that’s probably why they can’t make much sense of you. you’re extremely focused on work, it seems. or on your own personal development journey. they see you as someone who’s going after creating the life that you want. they can tell that you’re serious about your life. your person views you as someone with A LOT of potential. but not even just in terms of a relationship, but in terms of your life in general. they can tell that you go after opportunities - especially opportunities with work and money.

i had to pull more cards for you guys than i did for the other piles, and i really feel like it’s because this person barely knows anything about you. but they definitely admire the little about you that they do see.

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “i get so weak in the knees, i can hardly speak. i lose all control and something takes over me…” 💌⏳🦢🍸

• how does your crush currently feel about you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. here's something to kick off fall 🍂 take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. enjoy!

pile 1 📩 —

heyyy pile 1! let's jump right into your reading 🤗 i'm already hearing that you think about your crush A LOT like you can't get them off your mind even if you tried and they feel the exact same way. you two mirror each other so if you feel intensely about them, they're also feeling intensely about you even if they don't convey that outwardly (i.e. their facial expressions/body language) i feel like they’re not used to having a huge crush on someone, it usually just kinda…happens for them??? like they don't usually have to put a lot of work in to make someone fall for them (bc i'm visually seeing that they're pretty damn attractive) but that's not gonna cut it with you — they just can't get by on their looks. you're big on taking your time to get to know someone and building up that level of trust and respect. you carry yourself very well pile 1 and that's really what made them do a double take when they first saw you. you're 1 of 1 — they've never seen anyone like you before. i'm hearing that some of you may look exotic or people tell you that you resemble a specific celebrity a lot? idk but just know you get the blood rushing through their veins lol they can't help but feel excited when they're around you, yet they barely know you which is the crazy part. they feel like they know you but they don't…and that's what so intriguing to them. stranger by jhené aiko is coming to mind, “i know ya face, i know ya name but i don't know you? isn't that crazy? isn't that crazy?” you may judge them at first and already think the worst like “oh i bet they’re a player!” but don’t jump to conclusions! give it a chance. they may actually surprise you and treat you like royalty, cause i feel a lot of adoration coming from their end…even though they know little to nothing about you. i want you around by snoh aalegra is playing in my head, “it's somethin' 'bout the way you stare into my eyes. i know that i don't make things clear. i fall for you every time i try to resist you.” they’re gonna fall hard for you pile 1. they’re definitely going to want to get serious and make this official which will shock you both, because of how fast things will just come together naturally. AHHH I LOVE IT.

other channeled messages:

whoa by snoh aalegra, kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy ft. sammie, tattoos, glasses, scorpio placements/scorpio moon, wifey, bright smile, almond shaped eyes, petite figure, girl of my dreams, kissin’ on my tattoos by august alsina, u are my high by dj snake & future, prominent air sign placements

pile 2 ⚖️ —

hiiiii pile 2 💓 right away i’m hearing that your crush feels like you’re unattainable? you might be really popular or a naturally social person that everyone clings to, and they find this a bit intimidating. they don’t know how to approach you – they've been trying to figure out how to get your attention but little do they know that they already have it. y'all might have a dynamic like summer and seth from ‘the O.C.’ and/or stiles and lydia from ‘teen wolf’ aw when they find out you like them back it'll most likely catch them off guard like “who?! ME?!” lol they’re so cute. you’re very dreamy to them, they'll damn near start drooling when you’re in close proximity to them…i’m also hearing that they love the way you dress. you show just enough to let their imagination wander lol idk if they wanted me to say that cause i can see their cheeks getting red and them getting all flustered 🤣 let me just say that they respect you so much! they’ll feel so lucky to finally get to know you on a personal level because they’ve been inquiring about you for awhile now. you’ll be everything that they dreamed of plus more & vice versa. there’s definitely a best friend dynamic at the root of this connection, you both will be able to be yourselves unapologetically when you're together. i feel sooo much warmth and comfort. idk why belly and jeremiah from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ just popped up in my head lol but yeah they will love holding you gently and staring into your eyes longingly 😩 SO ADORBS.

other channeled messages:

the cool girl & the gamer boy, no idea by don toliver, just talk to her dude, victor from corpse bride, timothée chalamet, bilingual, hit different by sza ft. ty dolla $ign, my forever boy, good days by sza, skateboarding

pile 3 ⚓️ —

pile 333 💫 what's up!!! i channeled a song for y'all already, come over by aaliyah is coming in strongly. “i know you're asleep but you're on my mind and i'm wide awake and i wanna stop by.” ooo there’s a very sensual vibe between you and your crush, a lot of sexual attraction and tension i'm picking up. you two would make a great looking couple — a lot of people will be looking at you two when you're interacting with each other. it's like “can those two get a room already and just fuck” LMAOOO some will be hating but others will just be admiring like damn i wish i had that. i feel like your crush makes you act really shy lol you try to muster up the courage to look them in the eye and be bold but you fold every time lol i’m hearing them say “don’t be shy baby” 😩 your crush knows what they're doingggggg omg they just love to tease you. a couple that's coming to mind is joey and pacey from ‘dawson's creek’ you may not have paid them much mind initially but one day something clicked and you were like damn…i really like them. it might take a little minute for y'all to officially get together but once you two do…WHEW. i told y'all the sexual tension is through the roof — i’m hearing this is that 90’s r&b type of love. a lot of slow burn and building up to the real thing. they think so much about what it'll be like to finally be able to hold you, kiss you and treat you properly. you evoke a lot of inspiration, motivation and passion in them pile 3 <3

other channeled messages:

halfcrazy by musiq soulchild, take a picture it'll last longer, lavender haze by taylor swift, muse by partynexydoor, capricorn placements/capricorn venus, you're like my own personal brand of heroin - edward cullen (lol)

[kneelingshadowsalome]

this has been on my mind for a while, how would König react to a reader who was around when he was being bullied, not one of the bullies since I doubt he would forgive that even tho the sex would be nasty but like a girl who was on the side lines doing nothing and just hanging out with the bullies coming to him apologetically and wanting to make amends??

Oh what a delicious idea!

I meant to answer this with a quick reply but alas 🙄 this turned into a short drabble almost

She wasn’t one of the bullies, which means she’s not someone who König would want to actively terminate (I hc him in some of my darker fics as someone who may or may not have killed his childhood bullies... and/or his father, which means König can’t go back to Austria bc MEMORIES and also bc he has like a raging criminal record there). But she’s an onlooker, practically an enabler, and used to hang out with his bullies, oh dear. König wouldn’t be all too welcoming with her.

Chances are she was someone who König crushed on during school. Unattainable, he daydreamed about having her as his first girlfriend, but naturally that never happened... Now he’s suspicious to the point of being a little paranoid: he built a tough shell because of his past, so doe eyes and apologies won’t get you very far, even if König is intrigued. To be honest, his interest is piqued, but he won't let you see that in a million years.

Perhaps you reach out after a class meeting, some get together he never attended. You always wondered what happened to the cute, awkward nerd who sat behind you in class, the clumsy boy who talked of Rome, chivalry and knights while other boys wanted to be F1 drivers... Maybe you fantasized about asking him to help you with your history or math test, maybe you even blew him a kiss one time on dare to see if he'd walk straight into a wall (he did).

Maybe you dolled yourself up, just for him, excited to see König after over 10 years. To see if the awkward boy would still blush, to see what kind of man he has become... Chirp your regrets after a few blunts and some booze and see if he still fancied you.

But König never came. And of course he didn’t, that’s hardly a surprise. The regret within you builds until you bite the bullet and send a message to his old number, and after a few months, a reply finally arrives, but it’s not the most genial one.

König wants to meet you though… And the man, the thing he has become, makes it clear that he's not the shy awkward boy anymore.

You spend the whole evening trying to get over the sheer size of him, the lack of shaking hands, the distant cold stare with which he looks down at you. The fact that he works as a mercenary, that the boy who never hit anyone now kills people for money... The fact that he looks like someone who could wipe the floor with the young men you used to think were kinda cool.

König, however, is trying to decide what you want from him. Do you still think he’s a loser who never hit back because he wanted to be the better person? Do you think he’s a good for nothing man, even now, upon seeing that he finally succumbed to his hate?

Why do you even want to apologize after all these years?

Do you want an official pardon so that you can sleep your nights better? Or do you want to gawk at him because he chose to skip that stupid get together, perhaps gossip about him to the others and see if you could still find something to laugh at?

He’s the perfect gentleman during your “date”, offers to pay for the food and wishes you all the best. You can see the hurt in his eyes, of course – he wants to make you feel even worse about yourself by being such a good joe, so you break before him when he tries to leave, apologizing again, even crying in front of him.

“I just wanted to know if you’re happy,” you say. “I just hope that everything’s alright now…”

You lay your whole heart out in front of this man, but he's not the boy you used to know, not anymore.

He doesn’t tell you that he’s not happy; he never was. Neither does he heed the wishes of his darker self, wanting to tell you that he’d be happy for a while if you blew him in the restroom. He’s fucking better than that.

“We were just kids,” he says instead.

And that’s it: that’s the apology. But you can’t let him go, and neither can he, not when you humbly decided to come and rip all his wounds open.

Cue to a few months from the first date, you’re neck deep in love with him while König tells himself he’s only having fun. You could say he’s using you for sex; yes, he’s just dating this chick from high school... You’re just someone he comes to fuck and cuddle during leaves. It's nothing serious, no. He can do without serious for a while.

And he’s not going to fall for your charms, no matter how sweet, authentic and loving you are... You make yourself so fucking easy to love, but he's not going to fall for that. Any other woman he'd worship, but not you.

Not you.

Not you…

[jenneyquinn]

𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

in which the pine tree and llama are the epitome of soulmates (continued) w/c: 10.6k words *not proofread* (actually 2 words shy of 10.6k, but hey, who's counting? masterpost

once winter had its fun, spring rolls around, and so does that one day that everyone either looks forward to or is dreading with past trauma.

for mabel and dipper, they are one of both outcomes; respectively.

it was so uncharacteristic of mabel to not be excited over a holiday that spreads so much joy and love—regardless if it's platonic, familial, or romantic. as for dipper, he was never really much for luck in that department (love, that is), though not as sociable, let alone well known as his sister, he is very much content with being alone for the most part—especially knowing, deep down, he is grateful to have a family who loves him.

however, dipper felt that this year would be different. he didn't know why, couldn't put a finger on it, but he noticed that something would be stand out amongst the other years as the boy realizes that is isn't as disgusted with valentine's day as he commonly was before.

"duh—it's obvious why you're thinking about that, bro-bro."

"huh? oh, it's because we're technically teenagers and we're at that embarrassing phase in our life where romantic pursuits are more irrational and desperate to compensate for our lack of self-confidence?"

mabel rolls her eyes before answering.

"no, it's because you have a cru~sh! and you just can't wait to call her on valentine's day~"

"what?! that's—"

"don't worry, because being the matchmaker that i am, with the resume of skilled expertise, i can proudly say that i—mabel pines—will get you the valentine's date of your dreams!"

"but—"

"you can't say no, it's already happening."

"no."

"ALREADY HAPPENING!'

given it was already the first of february, it was going to take mabel less than two weeks to pull this off; presuming that she could, that is.

so, on that wednesday night, dipper lies awake at night, thinking about that special someone, despite fighting his feelings for so long. he doesn't want to admit it out loud, but dipper knew, subconsciously, that his sister indeed saw through him, and he is crushing on someone; bad and hard.

the first time dipper had ever lied awake at night, it was about wendy corduroy, the girl he ever seriously crushed on. though, as time passed after his confession, he stopped thinking about her that way. it look him time, fighting all those thoughts during the day while they continued their friendship, and many nights as she remained in his dreams; if he wasn't dreaming about his parents, that is.

however, when dipper lies awake this night, he isn't thinking about wendy. not at all. on the contrary, he's up all night, thinking of another girl—one he knew was perhaps just as (if not more unattainable) than wendy.

eventually, the guy gets some sleep, and mabel has already come up with a whole list of ideas to help her brother in his otherwise, lack of romantic expertise.

however, dipper fights mabel every step of the way, insisting that he has a plan of his own. though he is grateful for the support, the kid genuinely had a clear idea of how he wanted valentine's day to go, and as long as he's got his confidence—dipper is sure he'll have his first good valentine's day yet.

finally, when the big day comes, mabel's nothing short of estatic.

"oh my god, what are you gonna wear? please tell me you're going to wear something good?? what are you planning to do for your date??? it better be something fun! you don't wanna make a bad first impression by doing something lame—in that case, i have to make sure you avoid anything remotely boring!!"

dipper simply blinks, getting everything but also none of the words that just left mabel's mouth right now.

"uh… i guess i'm just going to wear what i usually wear. i mean, i didn't plan to go anywhere fancy anyways. saves time and energy for later, right? i even put together this nice gift and everything…"

"aww, dipper~" mabel coos, clasping her hands together at the last part of her brother's reply, "whatcha get her? actually nevermind, you can tell me later. i'm sure she'll love it anyways!"

then, she takes a quick look up and down at her brother, inspecting his outfit before continuing: "are you really going to wear… that?"

"what's wrong with what i'm wearing? i wear this every day!"

"i know, it's not bad, but that's the point—" mabel pinches the bridge of her nose with impatience, taking dipper by the hand, "look, we still got a couple hours before you're going. surely, there must be something presentable in that closet of yours… that's hopefully been washed."

so, thanks to mabel, dipper was able together a simple, but clean outfit for his first valentine's date: a marine-blue unbuttoned oxford shirt with a cream-white tee underneath, paired with a casual pair of black jeans and his shoes; completely gaining the latter's approval.

"now go on, enjoy your video-chat date with pacifica~"

"w-wait!" dipper exclaims. "how did you know—"

"oh, would you look at the time? candy and grenda must be waiting for me to join their call bye~"

"mabel!"

"look, i apologized, didn't i? i've been trying to be nothing but a do-gooder; no more evil business for me. even gideon is trying to give me a chance. so, sunshine, what is your deal?"

growing impatient with pacifica's rejections, dipper finally corners her at the ballroom of gleeful mansion—speaking in a hushed tone as to not draw any attention from anyone else.

the former, on the other hand, narrows her eyes; frowning deeply.

"you wanna know why i haven't forgiven you, gleeful? i was the first person to trust you, and what did you do with that?? you toyed with my feelings, deceived me—all for your personal gain?! how dare you think my feelings can't be justified when you suddenly decide to turn things around!"

dipper was baffled, to say the least. so, pacifica continues talking.

"what if will decides to return to you guys? what then?? is it the end of you and your family's redemption arc???" she asks, her facial features now beginning to soften as her eyes start to water and her nose going red as she sniffles.

"i don't want you to hurt me again. i'm not going to let you hurt me again."

as pacifica begins to run off, dipper instantly goes after her.

"pacifica, wait!"

then, out of the blue, the blonde is halted in her tracks. a ray of blue flames stike her, thereafter transforming pacifica from her authentic human state to a wooden statue of her likeness.

dipper gasps, reaching out to her: "pacifica!"

"gideon!"

mabel cries, redirecting her brother's attention to the now-wooden gideon pines; taking the mage aback even further.

suddenly, the gleeful twins hear a bellowing laughter, the source of them coming around the fireplace. a grandfather clock tolls, as the duo take sight of the ghost staring at the gleeful family portrait.

"a forest of death, a lesson learned, now the gleeful manor will burn!"

as the ghost of nathaniel southeast continues laughing, setting the family portrait aflame, mabel calls out to the entity.

"hey ugly! over here!"

the ghost seizes his laughs, spotting the gleeful twins.

"you want us to let in the townsfolk?" dipper asks, "'cause we'll do it! just change everyone back!"

nathaniel scoffs, "you wish to prove yourself? pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town! fulfill your ancestors' promise!"

pointing to the lever which opens the main gates, dipper looks from the lever to the wooden pacifica. then, for a moment, her voice rings in his head.

"i was the first person to trust you, and what did you do? you toyed with my feelings, you deceived me—all for your personal gain!"

you deceived me.

"she's right," dipper admits to himself.

"huh? who's right??" mabel asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"mabel, our family has been nothing but liars and cheats. how about we do something right for a change?"

without saying anything further, mabel simply gives dipper a nod in the affirmative; grabbing onto the lever with him.

the twins share a look, then look back at the ghost as they pull down the lever together.

nathaniel gasps as the main gates which once divided gleeful mansion and the commonfolk of the town swing open. as the townsfolk swarm into the manor in waves, the ghost is finally appeased.

"YES, YES, IT'S HAPPENING!" the entity rejoices, "MY HEART, ONCE AS HARD AS OAK, now grows soft, like a birch or something."

as the gleeful twins look up at the ghost with satisfaction, the latter looks back down on them, equally satiated.

"dipper, mabel, you two aren't like the other gleefuls." nathaniel says as his spirit begins to ascend, "i feel… lumber… justice…"

with that, everything in the mansion returned how they used to be: the portrait showed no signs it being previously engulfed in flames, all the resurrected animals were back in their deceased state, and most importantly, all the people originally in attendance had been free from their wooden prisons.

even pacifica, who takes a breath of fresh air as soon as she's freed.

"pacifica!"

dipper runs to pacifica, visibly worried as he pulls her close to him in a tight, protective embrace.

"dipper?"

"you're… you're actually safe…" he exasperates, pulling back to look at her, "look, you were right. i was being selfish and i did mess with you just to get what i wanted, but i didn't fully realize how much i've hurt you until now…"

"dipper…"

"when you were encased in wood, i… i thought that i lost you. i… i… don't want to see you like that again. i don't ever want to make you sad again."

before he could even notice, a single hot tear runs down dipper's cheek, still holding his gaze at pacifica.

"i… i know it's too late for you to trust me… and i clearly don't deserve your forgiveness… but i do wanna try. i want to be a better person."

while pacifica listens to dipper's impassioned confession, she couldn't help but to focus onto the tear that runs down his face. then she looks back into his eyes—which she finally took in for the first time. though it was a glowing blue when they first met, she noticed how the loss of the amulet and will's emancipation from the gleefuls had effected dipper's eyes from the absence of power.

they were brown. it was nothing special, but it was like pacifica was actually seeing him for the first time. if she thought there was good in him before, it finally shown in his eyes now.

so, pacifica does the only sensible thing she could think of.

"oof!"

holding onto him tightly, pacifica buries her face into dipper's shoulder; trying not to cry.

"thanks, dipper. i… i forgive you."

"wait! where are you all going?! we're supposed to look for dipper pines, remember?!"

when pacifica sees all the government vehicles backing up and driving away from the mystery shack, she's enraged. after all this time, she finally thought that she would be getting him back—but why were the government guys leaving?!

"ahh!" pacifica yelps in shock as a pig runs past her, chomping on a drive labelled 'PINES'.

so, she looks up to the source of where the pig came from, back to the mystery shack, and simple to say the least—she could have never expected what, or rather who, would be standing before her eyes.

"great-uncle mason, that was amazing!"

pacifica's eyes widen at stan's words, as he approaches the aforementioned man with his brother. but whatever happened to—

"let's not go crazy; it was serviceable."

well, speak of the devil, the blonde thinks as the con-artist walks into the scene with the shack's handywoman, lita. welp, time to get over there and give that lady a piece of my—

yet, the man's chuckles cut off pacifica's thoughts: "thank you kids, but please, call me dipper."

dipper?!

"dipper..."

his eyes crack open the slightest bit before shutting again.

"dipper..."

he hears the voice once more, but the weight of his eyelids win another time, drawing him back to unconsciousness.

"wake up, dipper!"

he shoots up, fully awake at the sound of mabel's shouts.

"gah! mabel!" dipper frowns, turning to the digital clock atop his bedside table before shooting her a look. "this better be worth waking me up at seven in the morning for—you know it's apring break, right?"

"exactly—it's spring break, bro-bro. the first day of spring break."

mabel points to the calendar hung on dipper's bedroom wall; specifically on a date that reads 'pacifica visits'.

"yeah, yeah, pacifica's visiting." dipper mumbles, tucking himself back to bed and pulling his covers back up.

it takes him a second to realize the words that just left his mouth, then he really wakes up.

"pacifica's visiting!"

he throws his blanket aside, bolting right up from his bed, scanning his room left and right.

"oh my god, my room! i need to- i gotta-"

"stop hyperventilating, dippingsauce," mabel says, amused at her brother's behaviour, "that's why we're up early. we've got six hours before pacifica, candy, and grenda's bus arrvies at the stop. so, as your personal matchmaker, i'm here to make sure your room's spotless—as well as you. i'll never forgive myself if i let you talk to your girlfriend without taking a shower first."

"a shower? i'm fine, mabel," he rebutes, lifting up his arm to take a sniff from his pits, which he immediately comes to regret, "besides, pacifica's not my girlfriend."

"not if you don't take a shower, she won't." she jokes, poking him. "blop!"

so, after taking a shower while his sister gives him a head start on spring cleaning, dipper rushes to get ready and look decent for his crush special friend.

unbeknownst to the twins, three visitors had already made their way to the pines residence.

"ah, pacifica! so nice to see you again, sweetie." mrs. pines greets, giving the girl a welcoming hug.

"and i believe you two must be candy and grenda," mr. pines points out, also giving a warm welcome to the two girls, "of course, mabel's friends are always welcome here."

"as well as dipper's friends." mrs. pines winks, playfully nudging the blonde's arm; causing the latter to blush.

candy and grenda also giggle, making pacifica more flustered.

"but seriously, our kids have told many stories about you three," mr. pines says, gesturing them inside as he picks up the girls' bags, "pacifica and mabel's golf tournament, grenda's prince boyfriend in austria, and even candy's little crush on dipper."

"oh!" pacifica says, then she leans towards candy, continuing in a teasing tone. "well, i didn't know about this."

another day of weirdmaggedon dawns upon gravity falls, not that dipper gleeful minds. in fact, it's just like another regular day for him: he gets up from bed, changes out of his pajamas and into his turquoise suit, and walks out into the town.

just as he promised, he makes his way to the giant floating bubble in the sky—the pink one that's branded with an illustration of a llama.

good morning, sunshine, dipper greets pacifica in thought, looking up at the bubble; eyes half-lidded and smiling gleefully.

pulling out the key from his vest pocket, dipper unlocks the bubble and enters the spherical-shaped prison.

"ah! dipper, you came back!" the blonde cheers, donning an off-the-shoulder, spaghetti-strapped turquoise dress and her hair done up in a simple, but cute messy bun.

"sunshine, looking as radiant as ever," dipper replies, "as if i should've expected any different."

he takes her by the hand, pulling her close to him. swinging her along the floor, which has shifted from a bedroom to a ballroom setting, dipper looks into pacifica's eyes with adoration, feeling complete bliss.

"hey, dippington? can i tell you something?" she asks softly.

"anything, sunshine," he answers without hesitation, "shoot."

"i'm so happy here." pacifica confesses, smiling brightly. "being here, in my dreamland, with you... it's like everything i could ever want. i don't ever want to leave... i just want to be happy here, with you, forever..."

dipper returns her smile, looking down at her as she rests her head against his shoulder.

"i'm happy to be here with you too, pacifica," he admits wholeheartedly, "i don't think i'd want to be anywhere else, too."

so, the pair slow-dances in silence, letting the soft melody of the ballroom music fill the space instead.

ever since dipper's return, pacifica had intended to catch up with her old friend, but she knew that he already had a lot of catching up to do with his own family.

at least she had her own family to tend to, as well as her own career as gravity falls' top realtor, making her way to becoming the ceo of northwest realty from the past twenty years.

although she hated to admit it, pacifica kind of wished she was able to bond with her grandson preston as easily as dipper's twin sister and their two great nephews.

so, while preston is out on a date with his girlfriend priscilla, pacifica is left to her own devices as she finishes up paperwork for her recent client.

that is... until she hears the ever so familiar ring of the doorbell.

"heh... h-hey, paz," dipper greets; in his own, typical, awkward way, "l-long time, no see, huh?"

pacifica blinks once... then twice... three times, even.

"uh... pacifica?" he waves over her face; worry rising in his voice. "are you alright—"

dipper gets cut off abruptly was pacifica leaps toward him; wrapping her arms over his shoulders and enveloping him into a crushing embrace.

"dummy... don't leave me ever again."

"wait, what?!"

dipper stands in his now-clean bedroom proudly, his hands to his sides.

"you heard me: by the end of spring break, pacifica northwest will be my girlfriend."

mabel clasps her hands over her mouth, trying her best from squealing.

"oh my god, dipper! that's amazing!" she cheers, but then her face blanks—as if she's seen a ghost. "oh no."

"huh? what 'oh-no'? i don't like that 'oh-no'."

"look, it's great that you want to ask pacifica to be your girlfriend and all but.. how do i put this... when it comes to girls... sometimes, you tend to get in your own way."

"mabel, i promise," dipper says, placing a hand to his chest while raising the other, "no lists involved. maybe a plan to reference to from time to time, but no multi-phase lists i need to be following closely."

"okay..." she says hesitantly, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips, "so... what's the plan then?"

"well..." he starts, rubbing his hands together.

"first, i figured there would be no harm in taking everyone mini-golfing. i can't impress her, but at least it's something she likes to do. pacifica will have a good time, so it'll definitely get things running in the right direction."

"um... mini golf?" pacifica asks, a bit weary.

"i guarantee you, there's no lilliputtians involved."

looking at him quizzically at first, she chuckles right after.

"okay, nerd. i've been looking forward to having a rematch with mabel anyways. she owes me a fair game, anyways."

"next, we'll go to the mall—it's full of stuff that pacifica likes, right? fashion and deep-fried foods!"

"here you go," dipper says, plopping down a tray of food onto the table before pacifica, "an order of french fries with a vanilla milkshake, just like the lady ordered."

he mimics a bow, gesturing to the fast-food before taking his seat: "just like home, huh? um... you still have a butler, right?"

the blonde giggles, nodding as she picks up a single fry and dipping it into the shake.

"only the one, though. we had to let go of a lot of staff after... you know."

"oh yeah..." he says, remembering the previous video-calls they've had, "it seems you've been adjusting well, though. oh yeah—how's greasy's? lazy suzan able to hold fort without you?"

"definitely. i miss her, though." she answers, twirling her straw. "between you and me, it's nice working at the diner. lazy suzan is more like a parent to me than my actual parents, and it keeps me distracted from thinking about home..."

looking up from the tray, pacifica looks at dipper with a gentle smile: "at least things in your home is better, right? i'm totally jealous of your parents."

"i guess you could say that..."

but it wasn't better. things at the pines' residence wasn't getting better at all. though there was still some sort of harmony in the household, it doesn't mean that his parents weren't still fighting almost every night.

but this didn't mean that things wouldn't be different with pacifica. sure, dipper's parents have been together for over almost two decades, and their marriage has still been on the verge of collapse even after their children had come back from their summer vacation in gravity falls, but it didn't mean—

oh, who was he kidding.

"hey, hello~" his friend snaps her fingers in front of his face, "anyone in there? you've been zoning out, wanna tell me what's on your mind?"

"um... heh, heh! you know what? how about we hit the arcade?? lost my appetite, anyways."

before she could have any input, dipper already grabs pacifica's hand, running down and out of the food court.

"there was also the arcade... but i don't know how she'd take it, but hopefully she'll come to like it. i mean—pacifica loves winning, right?"

"gleeful!"

"hm?" dipper gives a hum as he opens his eyes, peering up. somebody from the outside is calling.

"hey, sunshine, i gotta take care of something real quick." he explains, pulling away, his hands still on hers. "stay put, alright?"

she nods, still smiling: "okay, just... be careful, dip."

"you know i will." the brunette winks, causing his prisoner princess to giggle.

then, he finally departs, exiting the bubble.

"what the heck, dipper?!" gideon exclaimed. "i thought you turned a new leaf?! you said you were going to change!"

"oh, if it isn't lil' gideon—"

"don't call me that!" the small boy snaps back.

"never mind that! i'll have you know that i did, in fact, change," dipper continues, "i promised my sunshine, pacifica, that i wasn't going to hurt her, and i intend to keep that promise."

he then points to the bubble, wrapped in chains: "in that bubble, pacifica won't be hurt. never again. i was willing to let bygones be bygones, but she told me what you've done—and if you think i'm letting you in there, think again!"

"you can't do that, dipper!" robbie shouts. "you think you're protecting pacifica, but you're only imprisoning her!"

"valentino." dipper grimaces, his eyes narrowing and a threatening glint twinkles in his brown eyes. "you can't be any more wrong—pacifica told me herself! i am her protector! thanks to will, he granted me the power to create a dream world for her. in this world, i can shield her from anyone and everyone who can hurt her! even you!"

"but, dipper..." gideon speaks, his voice softens as he tries to empathize with the brunette, "do you really think this is the right way to protect pacifica? just because she's in that bubble, doesn't mean she'll be safe forever. eventually, one way or another, you'll hurt her too. so, when that happens—where will she go? who will protect her, then??"

dipper's cold expression slightly cracks, allowing his former enemy to reach out to him.

"we know you care for pacifica, we all do, too," the white-haired boy gestures between himself, robbie, and melody, "but we're still human. we make mistakes, and eventually, we will hurt each other—whether we mean to or not."

pulling out the slip of paper from the front pocket of his pants, dipper unfolds the paper to look back at the cut-out newspaper article; staring into the old picture of himself and pacifica.

she gave me another chance... even when i didn't deserve it.

"do the right thing, dipper. if you want to be pacifica's hero, please let us rescue her. please let us make it up to her."

"so, let me get this straight..." pacifica speaks, pinching the bridge of her nose in a mix of concentration and confusion, "this whole time, you had a twin sister? but you didn't tell me about her because of she wronged you about thirty years ago?? and then ten years later—she accidentally gets you sucked into this portal that you made??? so you've been stuck in there for the past twenty years until she reactivated said portal—in which she fixed, for the sole purpose to bring you back????"

dipper simply stares at pacifica, still struck by her beauty after all these years. yet, when he realizes a tad late that she had stopped speaking, he shakes his head; getting a hold of himself.

"y-yes. that's exactly what happened."

the blonde blinks once. then twice. then takes a long sip from her coffee; setting it down before slamming the empty mug onto the table.

"you never told me you had a twin sister!"

"well, i didn't think it was relevant..." he mumbles, annoyed.

"of course it's flippin' relevant!" she spats, "whatever mabel did to you in the past, she's still your family! i thought i knew everything about you, but you've been still hiding stuff from me!"

dipper sighs, looking at his old friend with a guilt-ridden expression.

"you're right, paz. i should've been more open with you, instead of being all mysterious and keeping stuff from you. i'm really sorry that i scared you and kept you in the dark all this time."

"ah, forget about it," she waves off, no longer upset. "you're lucky that i'm too old to be fussing over small things. besides, i guess i should be used to it by now, right? you never really trusted me, anyways."

"but i do trust you, pacifica," he says, placing a hand over hers, "i was just being an idiot, thinking that i was protecting you by not letting you into my world, but that's not fair. not when you've trusted me with your secrets. i truly am sorry, paz."

as pacifica looks down at his hand on hers, she looks back up to him; her diamond-blue eyes meeting his doe-brown ones. a twinge of pink spreads throughout her cheeks, letting her old feelings for the awkward man resurface; if only for a small moment.

for the first time in twenty years, her guard is let down again, baffled and stammering by the same guy who caught her heart two decades ago.

"it's alright, dipper." pacifica replies, the smallest hint of a smile graces her face.

"you're here now."

"SUGGESICA WIN!"

"ha, yeah!" pacifica cheers, pumping a fist up in victory, "in your face!"

though dipper wasn't happy at first that he was once again bested by her, he did have to admit—pacifica looks pretty cute when she gloats over a win. it's rare to see her geek out over an arcade game, after all.

"so, what was that again? didn't you say arcades were for nerds??"

"they're only nerds if they can't win," she corrects, poking his chest, "like you."

"yeah, yeah, you beat me," dipper says, rolling his eyes, "now enter your name for the high score so we can start heading back home. dad must've hooked up the karaoke machine by now."

pacifica giggles, inputting the name 'PAZ' before leaving the arcade with dipper; hand-in-hand.

"so, lovebirds..." mabel teases as she, candy, and grenda reunite with the pair, "ready for some karaoke?"

dipper blushes as pacifica rolls her eyes, smirking amusedly: "yeah, whatever. you wish i was dating your brother, it'll give you something to brag about."

"oh, definitely," mabel replies, "because i'm sure there's a lot of girls out there who are dying to say 'pacifica northwest, walking one-dimensional beached blonde valley girl stereotype, is dating my brother!'"

pacifica gasps, feigning offense...

before she laughs along with her former arch-enemy; walking out of the mall in a side-hug.

"look, after you said you weren't going to leave with me and move in my parents and i at the end of the summer, i wanted to hide in my sweater forever."

as pacifica explains her choice to stay in pacificaland, gideon feels the guilt rise within him as he is reminded of his promise from the beginning of the summer.

then, the melancholic expression on her face turns into one of resolve as she finishes her story.

"but then i woke up in a place that gives me exactly what i wanted: an endless summer where we'll never have to grow up! here, the sun shines all day, the party never ends, and now that you guys are here—it's finally perfect!"

"listen, pazzy," gideon speaks, "we're not here to party. all of this is crazy!"

yet, the blonde groans, disagreeing with her cousin's sentiment: "ugh! i figured you might say something like that, gid. would it kill you to be more like dipper sometimes? at least he's supportive of me!"

"sunshine..." dipper calls to her softly, placing a hand on her shoulder, "maybe you should go with gideon and the the rest..."

"huh?" pacifica's eyes go wide, suprised by the change in his demeanour.

"what are you talking about, dipper?"

"wait! hold on..." pacifica pants, trying to catch her breath after doubling down in laughs, "you... dated... a siren?"

blushing madly, dipper frowns: "is it really that hard to believe?"

apparently so, since the woman before him couldn't help but keep laughing; unable to control herself.

"uh—yeah?" she answers between cackles, "whew... oh my god, i'm gonna cry... that's hilarious... hah..."

"but you had two failed marriages!" he points out, still red as a tomato.

that doesn't stop pacifica from laughing herself breathless, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye as she finally starts to settle down.

"true... but i'm an heiress, dipper."

she had a point. twenty years is an awful long time, and it was like pacifica was getting any younger. it was inevitable that her parents wanted to secure their fortune by any means necessary—especially if said means was to marry their daughter off to another rich family.

hence, her two unsuccessful unions with marius von fundhauser and gideon gleeful.

"you never told me... how did you get out of them, again?"

"well, marius and i split because he fell in love with someone else..." pacifica answers, reminscing on her relationship with the austrian prince, "no hard feelings, though. it was for the best."

from the look on her face, dipper could tell that she was being genuine. he always loved seeing her soft side.

"and... gideon?" he winces.

"not as sweet as the papers put it." she replies bluntly. "he was just... too show-ey? even for me, which is crazy. i was able to find an out when i took the reigns on northwest realty—i got the chance to prove to my parents i was more than a pretty face, after all."

dipper chuckles, "as if there was any doubt."

"disco girl!"

"coming through!"

"that girl is you~!"

ooh-ooh's ring throughout the living room, followed by giggles and more of the musical works of dipper pines and pacifica northwest.

"more punch, kids?" mrs. pines asks as she enters the room; a tray of filled glasses in her hands. "gonna need something to drink so those singing voices won't be strained."

so, without any objections, the five kids take a break—drinking punch and catching up on town gossip.

"what?! you broke up with marius?!"

mabel's jaw drops nearly the same time the news drops, but everyone else remains indifferent. sure, candy and pacifica would have already known about this, but dipper was just plain uninterested.

"it wasn't a big deal, really," grenda explains. "there was only so much clinginess i could take!"

"speak for yourself," pacifica chimes in, checking her nails, "sounds to me like you could've been set for life. you were dating the prince of austria!"

"yeah, and it was a long-distance relationship, too!" mabel exclaims, "emphasis on distance!"

"what's distance if he wanted to fly me out to austria every weekend?! the guy just couldn't leave me alone!"

"yeesh," pacifica cringes; her facial expression in her signature look of disgust, "when you put it like that, maybe dumping the guy was right move. i can't imagine dating someone hovering over me like that, laughing and agreeing at every single thing i say."

"ha-ha!" dipper chokes out, blushing madly, hovering over pacifica, "you're totally right, paz!"

as the blonde in question raises an eyebrow, confused, the three remaining girls shares looks of mischief amongst each other; smirking slyly.

"speaking of your dating life, paz..." mabel begins in a teasing voice, "have you... say, got yourself any boyfriends, lately?"

now, it was pacifica's turn to blush—her cheeks a tinted pink.

"uh... no?" drawing out the confused 'no' in her reply, pacifica looks puzzled once more. "mabel, what—"

"AH-HA-HA-HA-HA~" dipper's forced laughs come out more obnoxious this time around, taking his sister's hand as he leads them out of the living room.

"mabel!"

"no... no... not you, too..."

"pacifica, you know in your heart that gideon's right. summer ends."

"but... i don't want it to end! i don't want to go back and... and..."

losing her words, pacifica looks back into dipper's eyes. deep down, she agreed with him wholeheartedly. she knew he was telling the truth.

but they were in pacificaland now. and the truth is not what she wants. especially if all the truth has done was hurt her and continued to do so.

"you said you wouldn't hurt me, dipper."

then there it was. the ache in his chest had returned. it didn't make sense, though! he was so sure that the guilt had been resolved after that night of the party at his mansion... so, why did it come back? he didn't so anything wrong. dipper made a deal with will so he could be granted full guardianship of the bubble and keep pacifica from harm.

she was all fine until that know-it-all gideon pines got in the way... he thinks he knows what's best for pacifica, and look what that go him—after all, he was the reason why the joyful blonde had felt so down in the first place! dipper didn't hurt pacifica, it was all gideon!

turning away from pacifica, dipper looks into gideon's eyes. if he could glare into them long enough, maybe daggers could materialize out of his brown eyes, shooting straight into gideon's blue ones.

what he didn't expect, however, was for gideon to stand his ground; staring back at dipper with the same amount—if not, more—determination than the once-evil psychic.

then, all at once, dipper's own words have struck him, remembering his promise to pacifica.

"i… i know it's too late for you to trust me… and i clearly don't deserve your forgiveness… but i do wanna try. i want to be a better person."

if i want to be more than pacifica's hero... he thinks to himself, i have to be someone worthy of loving... i have to do the right thing...

i have to be a better person.

"but, paz, you don't get it... mabel had cost me my dream school."

dipper repeats for the umpteenth time, lamenting over what could have been. he knew better than to be holding resentment over his twin sister for so long, but he just couldn't shake it off.

pacifica clearly notices this, which motivates her all the more to get her old friend to see sense.

"dipper, mabel and i haven't been on good terms this whole time, but after telling me the whole story, i've begun to see her in a different light." she confesses, laying a freshly-manicured hand atop inter-dimension traveller. "what baffles me is that while you can recall having a rich history with her, but it's only the two instances that she's done you wrong that keep a hold in your heart."

"but mabel was the reason i couldn't get into my dream school! she ruined my whole future in the blink of an eye—"

"she ruined your future, huh?" pacifica cuts him off, cocking a brow. "you want to know what i think, dipper?"

"paz—"

"no, maybe that big head of yours has influenced you in the past twenty years, and now it's got to your mouth—but i'm not going to stand for this. mabel is your twin sister. you guys sounded like two inseperable peas in a pod, but you've let that wrinkly brain of yours ruin probably the greatest friendship you've ever had."

pacifica pokes dipper's forehead for effect.

"sure, woe is you that you didn't get accepted to west coast. i'm sorry you didn't get to go into your dream school, but you went to backupsmore. you did the same work you hoped to accomplished at your first choice of school, but you pushed yourself even harder. if anything—you've probably found more success at backupsmore than west coast!"

"but mabel can't just get off scot-free—"

"your parents threw her out on the streets, dipper!" pacifica exclaims, utterly baffled by his sheer audacity, "things might've not have gone your way, but if they did back then, would you have been happier?"

hot tears begin to well up in the blonde's eyes, trying her hardest not to let them fall.

"you would have never come here! you would have never met... me..."

realizing that perhaps he did let his grievances get the better of him yet again, dipper had easily forgotten that he was only wanted to catch up over coffee with an old friend (maybe even get a second date afterwards), but he's blowing it.

blowing it big time.

"pacifica, of course i'm thankful for the way things turned out. meeting you was one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

"well, it sure doesn't feel like it..." she remarks, refusing to back down.

"look, i understand why you would be upset with mabel. sure, she ruined your chances of getting to your dream school, and got you trapped in another dimension for like, two decades, but she didn't mean to hurt you on purpose—and i think, deep down, you know this too."

though he wouldn't admit out loud, dipper did agree with pacifica's words. maybe it was just easier to stay mad at his sister because some part of him, subconsciously, knew that he was also to blame for where he ended up—especially getting himself sucked into the portal that he built himself.

"besides, if mabel was really as bad as you claimed her to be, then she wouldn't have spent all this time fixing your portal—just to get yourself out. in retrospect, what she did would typically require a prayer and a miracle to do: mabel self-educated in sciences, paid off your mortgage, and kept secrets to protect herself and her family. she did all this, her determined solely based on the very slim chance she could fix her mistake and bring you back home."

he wanted so badly to tell her that she was right. his mouth was already open, but with no words coming out, left speechless by the blonde's truth, he disappointed her; yet again.

"you know, i really missed you, dipper—but it turns out i didn't know you as well as i thought. call me when you decide to stop listening to your head and listen to your heart for a change."

with those final words, pacifica pulls out some bills from her wallet, before getting up from the booth, and out of the diner.

"what?!"

mabel yelps right before her brother frantically slaps a hand over her mouth, then peering over his shoulder to see if her loud reaction drew any attention from their guests.

with dipper's head turned, the other twin takes a chance and licks his hand, causing not only him to retract in disgust, but her as well; forgetting in that brief moment how sweaty her brother really was.

"mabel, seriously?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

spitting out and blowing raspberries with her tongue, she spats: "ugh! when do you ever not sweat?"

"whatever, that's not the point!" dipper replies, still hushed.

after blowing the last raspberries, mabel continues, whispering as well: "you haven't asked pacifica to be your girlfriend yet? spring break's almost over!"

"i know, i know, it's just..." he turns back to the living room, looking solemnly at the blonde; currently laughing along with candy and grenda. "i thought i was ready, i really did..."

seeing the gloom in her brother's face, mabel puts a hand to dipper's shoulder.

"so, what happened bro-bro?"

turning back to face his sister, dipper draws a deep sigh before asking: "mabel, do you think, if pacifica and i start dating... we'll end up arguing more than mom and dad?"

"huh?" she questions, her face puzzled.

"i mean, pacifica and i are just so different... and it's only been almost a year since we've met..." dipper explains, "on the other hand, our parents have known each other for almost twenty years... but that didn't stop them from those big arguments last year... do you think—"

"dipper, let me stop you right there," mabel interrupts, holding her hands up in a 'stop' gesture, "you and pacifica are nothing like mom and dad—and that doesn't have to be a good or bad thing! you guys have an awesome dynamic, whether as friends or as a couple—nudge nudge! the point is, you should ask pacifica to be your girlfriend when you feel you're ready. don't rush it, and definitely don't let other relationships like our parents get to you. after all, there's always summer!"

after giving it some thought, dipper looks away from mabel, turning to pacifica once more, then back to his sister; smiling.

"you make a good point, mabel... thanks. 'sides, there's always summer, right?"

after breaking free from the bubble in which will has imprisoned pacifica, she—along with the company of dipper, mabel, gideon, melody, and robbie—have made their way back to the tent of telepathy.

though found seemingly empty at first, the battle cries of the townsfolk taking refuge in the shack provokes the group of people who had just came from weirdmaggedon.

that is, until one of the folk—the six-fingered one in particular—had spotted their great niece and nephew, almost immediately standing down.

"kids?"

"grunkle ford!" dipper and mabel cheer, rushing to hug the old man.

"i can’t believe it! i thought i lost you two.” he says, capturing the twins in his arms.

“did you really?” mabel asks smugly.

“no,” ford answers, returning a smug grin back at her, “i was looking forward to not being bothered by you deliquents anymore.”

“you can always try again, grunkle ford.” dipper says.

“so, how did you all get here?”

ford then proceeds to recall the events from his perspective as weirdmaggedon unfolded, noting how the tent was the only place unaffected by will’s powers due to the protection of the unicorn hair.

“eventually, all these injured stragglers show up needing a place to stay. since the mayor got captured, i elected myself de facto chief. the plan's to stay in here and eat brown meat until we run out, then eat the gnomes."

as ford finishes explaining to his niece and nephew impassively, a nearby gnome immediately picked up on the chief's plan and gasped in utter disgust.

"hey! i'm short, not deaf!"

glancing from the kids to the gnome, ford remains indifferent.

"survival of the fittest, pal. sucks to be you, i guess."

"grunkle ford, we can't all just hide inside the tent," mabel reasons, "we have to save the town! gideon, stan, and i tried to do it, but grunkle stan ended up getting captured by will."

"serves that jerk right, it's what you get for trying to be a hero." ford remarks, then gestures to the townsfolk taking refuge in the tent. "besides, look at these people. the reason why they're here is not from the kindness of my heart, they're here out of fear—because people blindly following me would be less torturous than following some all-powerful space demon."

"so, you're really going to let will win?" gideon asks.

"kid, we got the best deal we could possibly get." the elder gleeful says, lounging back on his recliner. "be lucky that my niece is all sweet on you, otherwise i'd be kicking you and your cousin out on the streets with whatever townsfolk were unfortunate to not take refuge."

gideon frowns deeply, disgusted and frustrated with the six-fingered man. pacifica, although offended by the remark, is saddened on her cousin's behalf; considering that her uncle and aunt—despite their significant lack of quality parenting—are still out there amongst the chaos.

so, understandably, mabel is furious, and dipper places a empathetic hand on pacifica's shoulder—sharing in her lament.

she couldn't believe it... pacifica had waited for so long... she's waited twenty years, just to see him again.

though she would never admit it out loud to anyone else, pacifica's had dreams about reuniting with her former partner, many of them just a grasp away from a happy ending... that is, until she gets pulled back to consciousness at the final moment, and she realises...

he's not there.

after years of hoping, asking whatever external forces in the universe, just for the chance to see dipper pines one more time.

yet, after that lunch at greasy's, when pacifica finally got the chance to catch up with her old friend, she got to really know who dipper actually was... and it was just like in those final moments before she woke up each morning for the past couple decades.

he's still not here.

so, though it pains her heart to do this, pacifica needs to give dipper space. as long as things between him and his sister remain unresolved, how could she begin to think about having their own relationship mended?

but she's waited for twenty years... she won't mind waiting a little bit more.

take the rift...

"huh?" she scans the town around her. "who's there?"

nobody was nearby. in fact, she doesn't remember seeing the town in such a... monochromatic state. it was chilling, to say the very least.

after confirming nothing was behind her, pacifica shook her head rather wildly, trying to get her vision back. she didn't even summon him... she's fully awake... so, how did pacifica end up in the dreamscape?

suddenly, a being manifests before her. yellow, triangle-shaped, demonic. the blonde recognized him from the pages of the notebook, as well as the numerous tapestries she's locked up in one of the many closets in her mansion. after inheriting the property, stowing those demon-tapestries away was just about one of the first thing's she done to northwest manor.

"stay back!" she roars, standing guard.

"oh, llama, i'm sure your family raised you to be more poised than that." bill teases, swarming around her.

"you're nothing but bad news, you triangle goblin." pacifica spats, folding her arms, her hip cocked to one side. "i know you're like some sort of massive psycho, but you'd have to be even more mindless to think i'd make some deal with you."

"no need to be hostile, llama." bill says, backing away and giving her space. "i noticed that you had a lover's quarrel with pine tree lately, and i just want to give you something small to lift up your spirits."

"dipper and i don't have anything together." she states bluntly, clearly uninterested. "and i'm well off on my own, so if you're thinking of making me like, the richest person in the world, forget it."

"what if i gave you a better pine tree?" he offers, floating about and around her again. "in a snap, i can re-wire the old geek..."

with a snap of his fingers, a phantom of dipper appears before the two, walking towards pacifica with a smile on his ghostly face.

"a pine tree that isn't self-absorbed and all-consumed by science."

though he is a phantom, the animated dipper is able to take pacifica's hand in his. bill's probably controlling me, isn't he?

"a pine tree that can listen to his heart."

using his free arm to circle her waist, this dipper pulls pacifica close to him, his ghastly eyes seemingly consumed by her.

maybe, pacifica can't wait any longer. after all, she is getting old. besides, with dipper being the same age, she knows that he's getting old too. he's finally back home, so perhaps he ought to finally get some rest.

but it's not right. if she let herself sank this low, dipper would never forgive her. heck, she doesn't even think she could forgive herself. he wouldn't even be the dipper she fell in grew to like.

"all i need is this galaxy-looking globe of your boyfriend's. it's nothing big, so he won't miss it. so, whattaya say?"

looking from 'dipper' to bill's hand, ready for a shake, pacifica's determination returns to her; hitting her stronger than ever.

"my pine tree is perfect the way he is."

"what?" bill sputters in disbelief.

"you heard me," pacifica pulls away, staring into the demon's eye, "no deal."

"YOU FAKE BLONDE IMPENDING PATERNITY TEST! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I CAN UNMAKE YOUR FAMILY'S LEGACY AND YOU'LL BE LEFT WITH NOTHING—"

"i don't care. i have preston, and i have dipper."

"YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF STOLEN INCOME! IT’LL BE EVEN EASIER TO TAKE THEM AWAY FROM YOU! MAKE THE DEAL, LLAMA."

without hesitance, she raises a fist; completely all out of patience.

"NO!"

"wait, so if the answer to the equation is zero, then why can't x also be zero?" pacifica asks as her eyebrows knit together, staring from the homework spread on her desk back to the dork on video call from her laptop. "anything that's multiplied by zero has to equal zero, right?"

"yeah, but if you applied zero in place of x," dipper explains, amused by the blonde's annoyance. "you'd have two multiplying negative one, making the answer—"

"negative two, yeah, yeah." pacifica cuts him off, waving it aside. "lemme try again, but i need you to shut up for a bit."

on screen, dipper looks deadpanned, but he knew that pacifica was really trying. the school year was almost over, and thanks to insufficient funds to keep her original tutor, pacifica was left to her own devices.

the thing was, he has helped her all year, and she was perfectly confident with her grades... so, why are the stakes so much higher now?

"x equals negative two or one-half!"

"see, i knew you could do it." dipper smiles at her through the monitor.

chuckling at the dopey expression on his face, pacifica feels her cheeks grow warm, smiling back at him. "thanks dipper... but i couldn't have done it without you. actually... i think i might've needed to repeat the eight grade if it wasn't for you."

"you kidding me? you're great at practically anything you put your mind to!"

heh, i hope you're right about that, dip.

what pacifica isn't telling him is how much of a big deal her final math exam really is for her. as far as he knows, it's just her first final exam that she's gotten without an expensive tutor nor the safety net of her parents' fortune to get her into the ninth grade.

"bro-bro! tell your girlfriend ya gotta go! dinner's ready!"

mabel's off-screen call promptly causes her brother to be fully red in the face, momentarily losing his cool; to which pulls a giggle from the other end of his video call.

"sounds like i gotta let you go, bro-bro." pacifica teases, reaching for her laptop, over the sheets and textbooks. "same time, tomorrow?"

"heh, of course." dipper replies, chuckling nervously as he rubs the back of his neck. "sorry about mabel, you know how she is—"

"you don't need to apologize for anything, dork. catch ya later."

the dopey, awkward grin on dipper's face is the last thing she sees before she clicks on the 'end call' button, butterflies swarming in her stomach as she's temporarily allured by the goofiness that is her crush—not that she'd admit it to anyone else, though.

soon enough, those butterflies turn into rumbles, her stomach calling out for food as well.

after shutting her laptop and abandoning post at her desk, pacifica begins to make her way down to the kitchen.

"it's about time you showed up."

preston speaks bluntly as he and his wife are sitting on the dining table, with no food before them.

"we're starving, darling." priscilla says. "we thought we were going to have to wait forever for that... pines boy... to finally end your tutor session."

taking in a deep breath, pacifica sighs just as heavily, walking towards the fridge: "what are you guys going to make me prepare tonight?"

after viewing toby determined by turned to stone, soon to join will’s throne of subdued townsfolk, the remaining people in the tent of telepathy are finally pushed to the edge—the drive of freeing the town overruling their fear of will’s tyrannic takeover.

led by the team of gideon, pacifica, and the gleeful twins, all of the refuged individuals desperately assist tad mcgucket in turning the tent of telepathy into a force for battle.

days later, their combined efforts resulted in the completion of the remodeled tent of telepathy; much to ford’s dissatisfaction.

"thanks for these apocalyspe sweaters, pacifica." melody praises, physically snug in the cashmere. "the end of the world has never felt so comfortable."

"you were always a girl of many talents, sunshine." dipper chimes in, proudly showing off the sweater with a pine tree in the center.

the rest of the refugees are in agreement; nodding and humming.

hearing a shiver from behind her, pacifica shoots mabel a look as she notices she's still sweaterless. desperate to just warm up.

"ugh!" she whines, caving in as she pulls out a pink sweater with a shooting star in the center. "fine i'll wear it," she says, putting it on, "but i'm not gonna like it."

"admit it, this is the best day of the end of the world." pacifica says, taking a seat between dipper and gideon. "i think we actually have a chance to defeat will and win back our future."

"yeah," gideon adds, "can't believe i'm saying this, but i would much rather want to live to see mabel and dipper turn thirteen."

mabel gives gideon a soft smile, something that not even her twin brother has ever seen from her—and surprisingly, gideon even smiles back at mabel.

"if we're lucky, sunshine, i guarantee we'll throw another party at the manor and invite everyone in town."

though she knew dipper was certain about it, pacifica still raises a brow in suspicion; purely out of testing him.

sighing, he places a hand over his chest: "i promise, pacifica."

hearing the approaching footsteps from one of his two nephews, dipper sighs, putting aside whatever work he was currently tending to, now tending to his nephew instead.

"let me guess: stanley didn't take it well."

the young stanford pines shakes his head, regret and doubt starting to spread across his face.

"i don't know, maybe i'm making the wrong decision." ford replies, looking up at his grunkle. "i need to think about this."

"ford, right now we need to focus on the mission." dipper says, trying to pacify his nephew's gloom. "now come on, i've got the glue—hand me the rift and let's make history."

turning his frown into a smile, ford reaches into his supposed backpack, only to pull out—a birthday flyer?!

"what? oh no! the rift!"

it's the last day of exam week, and the weight of the world is on pacifica shoulders... or at least that's how she's feeling right now.

pulling up to the front of the school, the blonde unbuckles her seatbelt, picking up her bag, and is just about to open the door before her father halts her.

"pacifica," preston calls to his daughter, causing her to turn back to him. "you are a northwest. remember, if you don't get a perfect score on that final exam, you can say goodbye to your inheritance."

suddenly, pacifica's taken back to the day of the golf tournament between herself and mabel—and it only makes her feel worse.

so, she doesn't give anything to her dad but an affirmative nod, steps out of the vehicle, and watches as the family car drives off.

once the car was out of view, pacifica rushes into the school and in the washroom, locking herself in a stall.

hyperventilating, the distressed blonde holds a hand to her chest—though it doesn't do anything to slow her breathing nor stabilize the rise and fall of her chest. before she knew it, hot tears stream down her face, and the choked sobs that barely escape from her are just a cork from a full-on piercing cry.

get it together pacifica! she begs in her mind. stop being so weak!

feeling hopeless, the floor in the stall might as well turn into a black hole and swallow pacifica whole. it's still early in the morning, maybe she can just play hooky... and just catch the next bus to piedmont. it's not like her parents would miss her, right? especially when she won't get that perfect score they were hoping for. maybe he was right...

YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.

YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.

YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING—

it was only a single ringtone that pulls pacifica from her mind. rubbing her tears away and taking a sniffle, she pulls out her phone and reads the caller id from the screen.

𝗠𝗔𝗕𝗘𝗟 𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 💫

pacifica thinks about answering, she really does, but what could she say? the only person she's ever been vulnerable with was her brother.

before she knew it, pacifica lets her phone ring for too long, letting her enemy-turned-frenemy-turned-friend[ish?] go to voicemail.

"hey pacifica! dipper and i are just about to head to school, so we wanted to give you a call and wish you good luck on your math final! remember, no matter what the result is, our support for you is as long as pi! ha! get it? 'cause it's endless?? eh??? anyways, we'll always be proud of you, paz!"

pacifica rolls her eyes, chuckling at the shooting star's oh-so familiar cheesiness.

"mabel's right," a different voice enters the message, "you've done so well in school this year all by yourself, so don't sweat it, pacifica. you're going to nail that final, and even if you're not happy with the score, you should be proud of all the work you've put in this year."

"psst! dippingsauce!" pacifica can hear mabel call out to him, but her voice is rather hushed, likely due to her being some distance away from her phone. "tell paz you less than three her!"

"'less than three her'? what do you mean, 'less than three'..." dipper's voice dies down at the end, dead air follows the voicemail as he figures out what his sister meant.

"MABE—"

just like that, the voicemail ends—or rather, cuts off. pacifica sniffles, but she finds herself smiling. chuckling, actually.

who was she kidding? of course they were right! she's pacifica northwest. the only northwest that ended her family's curse. the same girl who showed up to a family photoshoot because she stopped caring about what others wanted her to be. the llama of bill cipher's zodiac!

bill was wrong, and after all she's done to save their lives—her parents no longer get the privilege to boss her around and treat her like a butler.

so, when pacifica finally cleans herself up, then walks in the classroom to take her final math exam for the school year, she's filled with nothing but confidence. she's pacifica, after all. as if she was going to finish the eight grade with anything less than an A+.

but, her mom and dad can keep that stupid inheritance of hers, she can make her own fortunes.

"this whole plan is insane, but no one asked the chief what he thinks. after all i've done for everyone!"

"hey dipper? mabel?" pacifica calls to them, but looks in the direction of the twins' grunkle. "shouldn't you guys talk to your grunkle? he doesn't look alright..."

"oh, we already know why he's acting like that," mabel brushes it off, only looking at ford for a second before staring back at pacifica, "don't worry about it, pacifica. he's always been this stubborn, but he'll come around. just needs to blow off some steam, that's all."

then, when mabel turns away to continue chatting with gideon, dipper shakes his head and rolls his eyes before talking to the blonde.

"to make a long story short, sunshine: mabel and i have been helping grunkle ford rescue grunkle stan ever since we could remember. after discovering that will had a connection to stan's dissappearance, understandably, we've tortured him enough to surrender and be subservient to us—using his powers and the tent of telepathy to steer suspeciting eyes away. once we got stan back, he only ever expressed gratitude to mabel and i—holding his grudge against ford."

"oh..." it wasn't pacifica, but gideon reacting to his former enemy's story. "so you guys weren't really evil, after all—just misunderstood?"

"nah, with stan's smarts, and ford's con-man skills, we could've easily turned the falls into gleefulland—ow!"

dipper holds a hand to his side, turning back to pacifica, who looks at him with a dissappointing pout.

"jerk. if neither of you are going to talk to ford, then i will."

"so, this is how the world ends. not with a bang, but with a boop-boop."

"weirdmaggedon." ford says, he and his grunkle looking up to the x-shaped rip in the sky—which the younger pines could only assume would be the portal to the nightmare realm.

"the rift is shattered." dipper says, lifting his nephew up as he gets run over by various animals and creatures. "bill's world is spilling into ours and every minute his powers grow stronger."

"stanley!" ford panics as eyes go wide. "the rift must've cracked inside his backpack. he must be in danger. i have to go and find him."

rushing towards the walkie-talkie, ford calls out to stan: "stanley! come in, stanley! stanley!"

"ford. listen to me." dipper calls to the boy sternly, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "we can find your brother soon, but right now, we need to stop bill. if we could blast him back through the rip he came out of, we just might be able to stop him before his weirdness spreads across the entire globe."

"are you sure defeating bill is even possible?" ford asks, a hint of uncertainty rises in his voice.

"no. i'm not sure." dipper confesses, but with every bit of courage he could muster from within himself, he looks down at ford. taking a knee down to his nephew's level, the elder pines looks into the eyes of the six-fingered boy—hoping that the next words that leave his mouth transfer a spark of a fight in ford. "but being a hero means fighting back even when it seems impossible. will you follow me?"

"to the ends of the earth."

a/n: omg FINALLY part 2 is done! i just want to take this moment to thank every single one of you for all the support and praise you have given me since i released the first part. i just want to give a heads up that since school is starting again for me, and balancing that with my job, i clearly won't have as much spare time to be working on this fic—but i'll try my best to have the final part posted within two months from now.

writing ilyieu has been so great for me, not just in terms of engagement and the traction i get from other users, but also for my writing. usually, i don't think i would be posting this much writing in such a short span of time... i haven't been this proactive in my writing since 2020 when all i had was quarantine and wattpad, if i gotta be honest.

i hope that this part is just as good as the first, because the next part is going to be last—as it wraps up the stories i have between dipcifica in all thre au's. your ongoing support means so a lot to me, so please send me lots of likes, reposts, and even asks my way! just about any engagement will likely inspire me to keep writing! here, how about i answer some of those future asks right now:

q: jen, your writing is so awesome! do you think alex hirsch will hire you to help him write any future books for gf?

a: uh—i don't have a degree in english or any related subjects, but if he's still willing to pay me—I SURE FRIGGIN HOPE SO

q: do you actually like gravity falls or are you just writing this because the book of bill came out/you just started watching the series/you know gf is trending on tumblr/you wanted to join the gf hype while it's still trending?

a: yes. definitely. absolutely. (stan pines would be so proud of me :,))

q: ur writing sucks/u take so long to post/u copied [insert name here] so unoriginal

a: this is definitely not a rick roll

anyways, thanks a bunch again for your guys' support! you’ve gotten me my first 200+ notes, my recent dipcifica drabble has already surpassed 100 (despite only writing and posting it yesterday), and i’m actually gaining a following (even if it’s small!) i’ll be posting more soon!

taglist: @wwwritererm @a-messy-flower @stormcloudsarepretty @marii-iana @whosbex @seukymin @vegas96 @caro2004 @ghostlyvisiting @frozzuwuwu @cyanside @mcmymuffin @poorlittlerichgirll @invisible-vampire13 @tielmamon @optimussy @hoatzin2 @janis01127 @platonicallyalone @raccoonchild333 @kagura15 @suckerfordylansstuff @cosmic-peonies @ashisuniverse @automaticpandaoperatorpizza

follow #jw: i love you in every universe for more content!

[ghostboneswrites2]

Crush (2)

<- (1)

Summary: In this continuation of Crush, you and Daryl struggle to survive together against both outside threats and interpersonal turmoils.

Warnings: profanity, TWD typical violence, allusions to intended SA, grief/trauma, mean!Daryl, angst, kind of lengthy, lots of action in this one, not proofread, typed on my phone, mild comfort/fluff at the end

A/N: Some canon divergence here! In the show, the Claimers are first seen in an interaction with Rick. For storytelling purposes, the first and only interaction with the Claimers is with you and Daryl. This also didn’t necessarily go in the direction I originally intended 😬

(Masterlist) (Taglist) (Daryl Dixon Fic Challenge)

dividers by @sister-lucifer

By the time the prison fell, you and Daryl had barely spoken a word to each other. You both seemed to decide that the easiest approach was no approach at all. Resolution and closure were far to unattainable to strive toward for either of you.

The day the Governor came back and destroyed your home, you almost perished with it. Had it not been for Daryl being there to drag you by the arm as he fled the scene, you’d have been walker-chow for sure. Your legs seemed to move on their own for a long time. Your mind had long since tapped out and left you running on autopilot. Days passed like this; wide traumatized eyes staring into the distance as you stumbled over crunching leaves, unfazed by protruding branches that scraped past and tore your clothes. You were dirty, hungry, thirsty, empty.

Daryl wasn’t much better off. I’m his desperate attempt at survival, he was violently forcing his trauma and grief down the hatch. He was wound tight as a thread, ready to snap at any moment.

Perhaps, in hindsight, this was the best case scenario for you both. Had either of you been in your right minds — in touch with your human inhibition — then neither of you would have survived the night that the Claimers attacked you.

The fire was the first mistake. It was a dry and cloudy night littered with gusts of chilly wind. With the lack of shelter to shield you from the harsh breeze, neither of you moved to put the fire out before bed. That was your second mistake: sleep. After all this time, you should have known sleep was a privilege you couldn’t afford.

“Well, what do we have here?” Joe mused from above, sadistic grin just barely visible in the dark. Your eyes were wide open in an instant, body scrambling to reach for a weapon before a baby boot impacted your chest, pinning you down in the dirt. You gasped, struggling to breathe under the weight of the man who led the Claimers. “Ah-ah… I’ll take that.” He chuckled as he reached down and unsheathed your knife.

Panicked, your eyes darted around in search of Daryl. He was already kicking and fighting as two other men held him back.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about your friend.” Joe sighed. “Or— Boyfriend? Husband? Uncle? Makes no difference, really.” He shook his head.

“I’m claimin’ the vest.” A scraggly man piped up, snickering through crooked yellow teeth.

“I got the crossbow.” Another one chimed in.

“And, I… claim you.” Joe concluded, leaning down over you, showering you in his rancid breath. You flared your nostrils in disgust as you squirmed under the worn rubber of his shoe. “No use in fightin, darlin’. Hell, if ya make it easy on me, I might even let one of ya walk away from this.”

As Joe straightened himself to listen his jeans, the weight of his foot on your chest lightened just enough for you to shove him off. He found amusement in this act of rebellion, having faith in his men to hold Daryl back and keep you in line for him. With two on Daryl, Joe on you, and one bystander on the lookout, the odds would have appeared to have been in his favor. The only flaw in this plan was the gun you had tucked in the back of your jeans.

As you pushed Joe’s foot away, the only response he afforded was a cocky laugh. Otherwise his attention was still set on the belt he had just unfastened, fingers moving toward his zipper. You took this moment to sit straight, pulling your gun from behind you and aiming it right at Joe’s head. The contented smirk her wore quickly faded as his fingers came to a halt. Slowly, he lifted his hands in the air and frowned at you.

The two men that held Daryl had been watching with hungry eyes up until this point, excited to see what Joe had in store for you. When your gun raised and Joe froze, their expressions dropped to show concern, eyes bouncing between you and their leader with anticipation.

“That was not a good idea.” Joe scolded you lowly, drawing the attention of the man keeping watch who lifted his gun and aimed it down at you. “You kill me, these guys are just gonna kill you.”

“So I finally get some good shut-eye and I get to take at least one of you assholes out with me?” You fired back coolly. Days and days running on autopilot had allowed you the calmness you felt under such immense pressure. The threat these men posed was not lost on you, but neither was the hopelessness of life on the run. You truly had nothing left to lose, except a life that didn’t really meet the criteria of living.

“Huh.” Joe clenched his jaw as he huffed, glaring at the other men as if they were to do something about the situation. Feeling the pressure of his pack-leader’s short fuse, one of the men hanging onto Daryl decided to reach for his knife and hold it up to Daryl’s temple.

“Drop it, or the boyfriend gets it.” The man threatened, lips curled into a proud smile. Daryl’s head hung slightly forward, greasy tufts of hair dangling over his eyes. He kept his sights on the man, ignoring the idiot on his other side who’s grip had listened enough to break free from had Daryl wanted to.

See, your strength may have been rooted in the ability to remove yourself — to shut off all parts of you that didn’t serve your survival — but Daryl’s strength was in his passion for survival. It was all he had known from boyhood to manhood, and he was good at it. He knew how to watch and wait for the time to strike. He had patience, he was resilient, and he was strong. If Daryl knew nothing else, he knew how to live. It was not only a primal instinct but a guiding principle. Devoid of love and connection, he was filled to the brim with determination and brute force. So, he analyzed.

The man who held him at knifepoint had a flimsy hold of his blade, and his grounding was amateurish. His body bounced side to side giddily and his feet held no real bearing on the ground. The other one seemed to have a careless hold on Daryl, not really focused on the fact that he was responsible for preventing Daryl from breaking free. He was too distracted by the stick-up between you, Joe, and their lookout.

Daryl knew he had a fair chance at turning the tables and gaining an upper hand on the band of brutes, he only needed to choose the right time. As he prepared to strike, his breaths quickened in pace, huffing loudly into the tense silence. The lookout turned his attention to Daryl for a moment, sim following his gaze. When the lookout’s eyes and gun made their way back to you, Daryl shoved his shoulder to his right as hard as he could, knocking the man with a knife to his temple off balance.

The man struggled to find his bearings. With the knife no longer an immediate threat, daryl was able to swiftly pull the other guy into a headlock. Now, he had a human shield, and the lookout nor the man with the knife could hurt him without hurting their friend.

Joe was growing impatient, but he had to remain calm. Things were quickly turning upside down, and he couldn’t afford for his men to make any more mistakes.

“Now boys.” He spoke up calmly as the lookout and the man with the knife kept their attention trained on Daryl. “We don’t wanna let things get too out of hand. I’m sure Len wouldn’t appreciate getting hit in the crossfire.”

You figured Len must’ve been the man Daryl was slowly choking to death in a headlock. You kept your gun aimed at Joe, deciding he was the main threat given his status amongst the others. With Daryl broken free and their leader at gun point, you realized you might have had the upper hand.

“The one with the gun.” You said.

“Tony.” Joe nodded.

“Tony.” You repeated. “Toss the gun to my friend.”

Tony hesitated, eyes pleading for guidance from Joe. Joes eyes traced around the camp, taking everything in, weighing his options. With a defeated sigh he nodded to Tony, who did as you demanded and tossed the gun over to Daryl’s feet. Daryl slid it closer to himself with the tip of his boot before dragging Len down with him to retrieve it. Now, you and Daryl both had a gun and a hostage. Daryl kept one arm around Len’s throat while the other pointed the gun and Tony and the guy with the knife. “Toss it.” Daryl ordered. Knife-Guy glanced around at his friends before reluctantly tossing the knife a few feet away.

“Now, lay down flat. Face down. Tony and the other one first.” You instructed. They obeyed. Daryl finally grew tired of Len’s choking sounds. He pushed Len to the ground and stepped on his back to keep him still. You finally looked to Daryl for any clues on what to do next.

Daryl glanced around, seemingly considering your silent request for guidance. He knew these men would have to die. It was the only way it could be.

Joe, though, a resourceful man, took the only chance he could when you looked away from him and at Daryl. He tackled you down and wrestled you for the gun, knowing Daryl wouldn’t have a clear shot to stop him. As Daryl’s attention fell on you and your struggle for the upper hand, Tony pushed himself up and lunged for Daryl. Chaos broke out. Punches and kicks were thrown and desperate curses echoed into the night.

Len wrestled the gun away from Daryl, but he couldn’t get a clear shot while he fought Tony and the one who had the knife. Daryl ended up finding the knife once the other two got the upper hand and kicked him into the ground. He aimlessly slashed the blade, luckily slicing Tony’s Achilles tendon. Blood spurted from the wound as he fell to the ground, crying out in pain, cursing Daryl with any insult he could muster up. Len and Knife-Guy took a step back from Daryl as he climbed back up to his feet. Daryl’s face was bloody and beat up, but somehow it made him more intimidating.

Len held the gun up nervously, gulping as Daryl paced side to side, just as predator waiting to pounce on his prey. “Cmon.” Knife-Guy urged Len impatiently. “Shoot his sorry ass.”

Len couldn’t, though, because he had no bullets left. He hadn’t come across the ammo he needed in weeks, but it had really been an issue up until that moment.

The thing was, Daryl knew the pistol wasn’t loaded when he held it. It wasn’t nearly as heavy as it should have been. So, without hesitation, Daryl stepped forward and slashed the blade once more, just barely missing Len’s arm as he and the other man dodged backward.

Meanwhile, Joe had finally wrestled your gun out of your hands and dragged you to your feet. He pressed the barrel against your cheek harshly and chuckled with triumph.

“Well, ya gave it a damn good shot. I respect that. Life is precious, and whatnot.” He said as he caught his breath. His face was tatted and scratched up from your attempts at self defense.

Daryl stopped his assault on Len and the other man when he noticed you had lost the battle against Joe. Knife-Guy moved to reach for his knife but Daryl was quick to lash out again.

“Uh-uh-uh.” Joe scolded. “See, when you have the upper hand, you get to make those kinds of decisions. Now, I have the upper hand again. You don’t get to make those decisions. See how that works?”

Daryl scoffed and wiped his arm across his bloodied nose.

“This is the part where you give Dan his knife back, so I don’t blow your lady’s brains all over the place.”

“Nah. You won’t. Her gun’s been jammed for weeks.” Daryl bluffed as he paced side to side, fist still clenched around the handle of the blade.

“Oh, now I find that hard to believe. See, you’re tellin’ me she’s been travelin’ with a man who knows his way around a bow, but you couldn’t un-jam a cheaply made Girsan MT14 .38? I’m not buyin’ that for one god-given minute. My minutes are precious. I don’t waste them on bluffs. You shouldn’t either. It makes things simpler.” Joe lectured.

“Okay.” Daryl nodded. “Dan can have his knife back.”

Stupidly, Dan stepped forward to grab his knife when Daryl held it out for him. In the blink of an eye, Daryl had Dan in his grasp, knife pressed to his throat. Joe took in a deep, expressive breath, and let it out slowly to convey his frustrations.

“I gotta be honest, you’re really pissing me off.” Joe warned.

“The feelin’s mutual.” Daryl retorted, earning a chuckle out of Joe.

“Ya know, I — I actually like you. You’re funny!” Joe admitted. “It’s a real shame we had to meet this way.”

“Wouldn’t’ve been no different any other way.” Daryl insisted. “Either way I kill you.”

“Well, that’s just bad sportsmanship. I expected more out of a bowman.” Joe shot back.

“Never claimed to be a good sport.” Daryl rasped.

“No. No, I guess you’re right.” Joe sighed. “So, then. What’s next? Are we gonna stand here all night with our metaphorical dicks in our hands, or are we gonna settle this like men?”

Daryl seemed to actually consider his question for a moment.

“Alright.” Daryl nodded. “Let’s settle it.”

With that, Daryl slit Dan’s throat with ease, blood pouring from the wound as the man gurgled and choked on it. Joe immediately pulled the gun from your cheek and aimed for Daryl, but the shot missed as Daryl pushed Dan into Len and knocked him down. Joe fired again, this time grazing Daryl, but by then Daryl had managed to dive down and tank Len back into him, serving as a new human shield.

“Dick move, asshole!” Joe bellowed, shoving the gun against our head again. You struggled against him, but you couldn’t break free.

“Just evening out the odds.” Daryl said as he dragged Len back to his feet and kept the knife pressed to his neck.

“Well I guess there’s only one way for this to end.” Joe said.

“Your brains soakin’ in the dirt?” Daryl taunted.

“Somebody’s brains for sure, but not mine.” Joe threatened.

With timing running out and desperation overwhelming him, Daryl finally relented.

“Alright.” Daryl said. “Let her go and I’ll let him go. Take it out on me.”

“Drop the knife first.” Joe demanded. Daryl complied, strategically tossing the knife too far away for Len to grab it before he let Len go. Len stumbled forward, having grown dizzy from the chokehold Daryl kept him in. Joe, keeping one hand on the collar if your shirt to hold you still, used the gun to motion Len to the side.

“Move, Len. It’s time to finish this.” He said.

“Nah. Wasn’t the deal.” Daryl argued.

Both men seemed breathless at this point, worn out from the lengthy struggle to maintain power over the other.

“Well, I like to say I’m a man of my word but… You killed two of my men tonight and for that someone must pay.” Joe informed him.

“Yeah, me.” Daryl insisted.

“Precisely, actually. First, you’re gonna watch her die. Then, I’m gonna kill you. Two for two.” Joe said, as a matter of fact.

“That ain’t gon’ work.” Daryl shook his head.

“Well the way I see it ya ain’t got much of a choice.” Joe chuckled in disbelief.

“There’s always a choice.” You finally chimed in, using Daryl’s distraction as your chance to fight. In a swift motion you turned and bit down on Joe’s neck, clenching your jaw as tightly as you could. Eventually your teeth met, slicing through the flesh. You pulled back, ripping a chunk out of Joe’s neck.

In his shock and agony, he squeeze the trigger, firing a round into Len’s shoulder just before Daryl rushed over to you and tackled Joe to the ground. As Joe gasped and reached for the gushing wound in his neck, Daryl gripped either side of his head and twisted. A loud crack sounded and Joe was lifeless.

Len, in one last effort to avenge his friends, charged after you and Daryl. Daryl grabbed a large stone and smashed it into Len’s skull. Len fell back, and Daryl straddled him, bringing the same heavy Rick down repeatedly until Len no longer resembled a human being.

Daryl slumped in top of the dead man, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he caught up with his breaths.

You sat in shock for a time, eyes glued to Daryl. Eventually, his head turned a little, and you could see his eyes peeking back at you through the mop of sweat drenched hair.

Slowly, he lifted himself up to his feet and stumbled away from the carnage, running a hand through his hair as he came to terms with what he’d had to do. What you both had to do. He looked down at his bloodied knuckles, images of beating a man to death repeating in his psyche.

Suddenly, his eyes broiled with rage as he looked back at you.

“This is what ya want? Huh? Is this the kinda man you wanna love?” He spat.

Shakily, you stood up and stared at him with eyes as round as saucers. The taste of blood still coated the inside of your mouth and dropped down your chin. Bits of flesh were noticeably lodged between your teeth. Your lip quivered as you held your hands out and looked down at your red-soaked clothes. Daryl then realized that he wasn’t the only one who had to be a monster. He wasn’t the only one who had to cope with such heinous actions.

If you could do the things he could do in order to survive, maybe those things weren’t as unforgivable as he’d thought. Maybe it could be forgiven, maybe he wasn’t a lost cause. His eyes softened a little as your eyes welled with tears, a shudder washing over you as you gagged.

You were disgusted with what you’d done. Horrified by the violence and gore. As if the events that led you to the Claimers in the first place weren’t bad enough, you were utterly traumatized.

He walked over to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, hoping to ground you as his rage and terror simmered down.

“I — I” You struggled to speak, short quick breaths quickly evolving into a panic attack.

“You had to.” He assured you. You tried to nod, frantic and uncoordinated as the discomfort and sensory overload set in. You could taste blood and flesh, your clothes were sticky, everything smelled like death. Rapidly, you began slapping your hands against your body and attempted to wipe away all the gore. Firmly, yet still ever so gentle, Daryl’s hands wrapped around your wrists to hold you still. “Breathe.” He urged you. “It’s gon’ be alright. We can head back to that pond we passed earlier, get cleaned up.”

“I — I don’t — I don’t — I can’t —“ You began to sob, trembling as you tried to communicate through struggled breaths and hit tears.

“Breathe.” He cooed. “Slow down.”

“I can’t change.” You cried. “I don’t have clothes I can’t change.”

It might have seemed silly, but he understood. You were distressed and covered in the aftermath of something straight out of a horror film. You probably couldn’t think of anything other than getting the disturbing remnants of your attackers off of you.

“We’ll find ya some. Promise.” He assured you. “Let’s just go. I got your bag.”

It took the better half of an hour to calm you down to a point where you could travel. The pond was only a thirty minute hike back the way you came that day. There, you surrendered to the water, sinking into it fully clothed. You sat down and hugged your knees to your chest, distant and out of touch. Daryl couldn’t witness your unraveling for very long before he stepped in.

He kicked off his boots, peeled his dirty socks from his clammy skin, and rolled his jeans up before he waded in the water to meet you. Tenderly, he scooped water in his hands and trickled it over your head, dampening your hair enough to stub the grime away. His hands worked to wipe away the dried blood from your neck and shoulders. When you made no move to pick up where he left off, he went ahead and cleaned your face too.

You were completely catatonic. He pulled you to your feet and wordlessly guided you back to shore. He then removed his shirt and motioned for you to do the same. You finally let your eyes meet his, questioning him with your gaze.

“Your clothes are all wet. Take my shirt.” He insisted. With no energy to argue, you complied. You tossed your shirt to the side and replaced it with his. It hung down just past your butt. “Should cover ya up good. Wanna let your pants dry too? I’ll wash ‘em for ya.”

Grateful for the kindness, you stepped out of your jeans and handed them over.

“Go on an’ get the fire started.” He instructed softly. Thoughtlessly, you did so, while he scrubbed away at your clothes in the pond. When the fire was burning, you settled against a tree and hugged yourself, knees brought to your chest. When Daryl fit your clothes hung up to fry near the fire, he sat beside you and studied you.

Unable to ignore his presence, you looked over at him.

Two broken souls, horrified with the things they’d seen and done, just staring at each other.

Finally, Daryl scooted you forward from the tree trunk and slid in behind you, pulling you back into his bare chest and hugging you tightly. You easily melted into his embrace, allowing the awful pit in your gut to ease up a little.

“Gon’ and get some sleep.” He whispered into your hair. “I’ll watch over ya.”

That was the first night either of you truly let your guard down and allowed each other to care. From then on, there was no need to wonder. He kept you near him as much as he could, and you never strayed too far from him. Small grazes and lingering affectionate gazed slowly evolved into warm embraces and tender touches.

It wasn’t easy after that. Not by a long shot. You were both still learning to love. You were codependent and moody, Daryl was withdrawn and temperamental. The path to happiness for the two of you would be a rougher travel than most. You’d fight, swear you’ll never talk to each other again, and wind up right back by each others side. The cycle would continue for years to come, until you both grew older and calmer and found peace with each other. This would be around the time Daryl finally left his camp in the woods after Rick blew up the bridge. You’d go on to fight every battle with him.

You both would learn how to care for each other, all your little quirks and triggers. You’d be perfect for each other, because you’d both have to evolve in order to make the other happy. You’d finally be able to live and be loved the way you’d always imagined. Daryl would experience true partnership for the first time.

You’d often joke about it. Having to go through so much trauma just to open up to each other. You’d laugh about all the stubborn fights and petty squabbles. None of them would matter in the end, because you’d always have each other.

Might write an alternate version of this one. Unsure. Went in a whole different direction than I planned 😅

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix @superbowlisgay @liizzygrant @eddiemunsonsupremecy @raeraegoaway @ophelialaufey

[mrsparrasblog]

STRIPCLUB GHOST

I think he wouldn't go to a Stripclub in the Canon but my brain was working again lel. You can find more on my A03: Mrsparras

Moving to England to study abroad has always been your biggest dream since you were a child, so when you graduated and were old enough, you did it. You blessed Erasmus that you wouldn't have so much debt—well, at least you thought so, but in the end, you couldn't make ends meet.

So you decided to search for a job that you could do while studying that also fit with your busy schedule, so you started to work in a strip club in Soho under the promise that you would only be a waitress and nothing more.

You stood behind the bar counter wearing the skimpiest clothes you had and prepared drinks, and to your surprise, it was fun. Even watching the stripper from far away gave you straight-up BI panic; they were also beautiful and mature.

Surprisingly, you even got a lot of tips despite not dancing half-naked around the pole. The customers all called you Angel; being the youngest and most unattainable had its perks.

One day there was a new customer who wore a Ghost mask and was a brick house of a man. He was nice to you despite looking scary.

"Come on, Bunny, tell me why you are doing this," he asked while you served him a glass of his favorite Bourbon. He was nice, always left you a good tip, and was generous. So you didn't feel the urge to lie to him; why should you?

"I need to pay bills; food and rent are expensive in Manchester."

"I see," he said, leaving this time a 60-pound tip on his 18-pound Bourbon.

"Sir, it's too much."

"It isn't Bunny; buy yourself something nice with it, okay?"

And you did buy yourself a proper meal after a long time of only eating pasta with pesto, and it was delicious.

The next day, when you went to work, you got an offer from your boss: 500 pounds for a private striptease, 120 pounds more if it turns into a lapdance. You never wanted to do this; you couldn't dance, and you were insecure about your body. But it was easy money, and you could always bottom out if it was too much for you.

"The man left this costume for you behind." Your bodyguard gave you a bunny costume with bunny ears, white soft lingerie, and a bunny tail. Oh god, what a freak. Problem No. 2: It was at least 2 sizes too small, making your tits almost fall out.

You were curious to find out who specifically requested you, and when you walked into the private room, you saw Ghost. You were smiling; you knew you could trust him, and you would lie if you said you didn't develop a crush on him the last few weeks when he slowly became your regular.

"Ghost"

"Bunny"

"So, um, do you want me to dance?"

"I want you to be comfortable, but yes, I would love watching you dance."

So you began to dance awkwardly at first, but then you enjoyed it, dancing around provocatively, shaking your ass a bit in his reaction, and he enjoyed it. The half-hour stopped, and you were a bit sad.

"It was fun, Ghost."

"It was Bunny."

You thought it would be the last time you did this, but when your bodyguard told you Ghost requested you for the rest of the week, every day your vagina made this weird butterfly-clenching thing. You would dance for him every day.

So you began to dance with him every day, even being bolder and giving him a lap dance. You touched his strong abs while circling your hips around him. You were afraid that the fabric wasn't thick enough to hide your throbbing cunt.

"Love, please don't move," he whimpered.

You looked at him in confusion and asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Bunny, no, just don't move."

You felt his massive erection under you, and you grinded against him again. "Do you mean because of this?"

"Stop it. I don't want to use your poverty for my gain."

"Did you call me a prostitute?" You asked him, feeling completely furious, and you would have fucked him even despite the money.

"No Bunny I'm just saying you're too good for me, okay? Im a dirty man; men like me aren't made for little sweet girls like you," he said before leaving you in utter confusion, horny, and alone.

You didn't think he would return the next day, but he did, and you refused his cash this time before going to the private suite with him.

"Why do you refuse my money? You need it, and I have enough of it."

"I don't want you to see me as a prostitute."

"I could never see you as less than an angel."

This time you didn't strip for him; you just sat on his lap and talked. He told you that he works as a police officer, even though you thought this was a lie, and you told him all about your native country, how you moved here, and how you loved it.

"All I'm saying is I don't think sex is good enough to pay for it," you claimed while laughing. The erection pressing against your thighs was something you already got used to.

"Then you were with the wrong men before Bunny; sex is great."

"It's okay"

He laughed, "You never had an orgasm before ?" his fingers trailed down on the thin fabric of your pants.

You blushed immediately and shook your head, grinding against his fingers for the smallest friction.

"That explains why you are so desperate, Bunny," he chuckled and left.

The next day, one day before your day off, you went to work again, instinctively walking to the private room where he already sat, this time shirtless. He was the picture of a perfect man with strong abs, and a blonde happy trail down to his thick erection that was only covered by his briefs.

"Sit down and give me a lapdance, please, Bunny."

You sat down on him, but this time he grinded against you, not you against him. You would love that sudden change, but you were a bit mad that he left you yesterday after calling you desperate.

"Tell me you want me, and I'm all yours."

"I don't want you," you lied to him.

"I think you want this, bunny. Don't lie to yourself." He leans in close, his hot breath tickling your ear. "I can see it in your eyes. You want me to fuck you hard and make you scream."

"No"

"Yes, you do," he insists, pulling down your costume to expose your bare ass. His hand traces the crack in your ass before dipping between your cheeks, pressing against your entrance. "Admit it, bunny. You want me inside you."

"No, I don't want you," but your body betrayed your stubborn act. You were soaking wet and a moaning mess for him. He was so hot and big, and all you wanted was to let him take care of you. Let him show you what a real man is.

"Lie to me again, and I'll make sure you regret it." His fingers begin to probe, seeking entry into your tight little hole. "Tell me, bunny. Have you ever been taken like this before? Fucked raw by a real man." He laughed at you, his voice sounding mean and dominant to his usual nice behavior. Maybe he had a stressful day, but did you care about what made you so lucky today?

"Good," he growls, finally pushing past your resistance and forcing his middle finger inside you. "Because I'm going to make sure you scream for me." His other hand moves up to grope one of your breasts through the costume, pinching the nipple hard.

"Oh fuck, Ghost."

"That's it, bunny. Let me hear you," he demands, adding a second finger to stretch you wider. His thumb rubs over your hardened nipple as his fingers thrust deeper, searching for that sweet spot inside you. "You like that?"

"No," you moaned.

"Lie to me again, and I'll gag you," he warns, pulling his fingers free with a wet pop. "Now tell me the truth." He grabs your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. "Do you want my cock inside you?"

You were thinking of lying again only so that he could gag you, but you needed him right now more than you needed anything in your life before. "Yes"

"Good girl," he praises, lowering his mouth to capture one of your nipples in a hot, sucking kiss. His other hand slides down between your legs, rubbing against your pleading clit.

"You've never felt anything like this, bunny?" He purrs against your skin, "You just want me to shove my cock inside you and claim you as mine, don't you?" He already knew the answer, and he was determined to give you your real first orgasm.

"I never felt like this before, Ghost."

"That's right," he agrees, standing up and pushing your legs apart. His hot breath is fanning across your wet folds as he stares down at his prize. "You're going to feel even better when I'm buried balls deep inside you."

Your pussy clenched and throbbed, and now he saw the evidence of your lust.

"You see, bunny," he says with a chuckle, "your body knows what it wants." His thick cock is at your entrance now, slowly pushing inside. The head teased the tight ring of muscles before finally breaking through with a small groan from both of them.

"Oh god, it's too big." It was bigger than the dildo that you had at home, but you liked the burn and to be filled.

"That's because you've never had a real man inside you before," he growls, starting to thrust deeper. Each movement hits your sweet spot and makes your insides clench around him. "You like that, don't you? Feeling my cock stretching you out?"

"Ghost, im going to cum," you whined as he started to stroke your hard nub while he fucked you restlessly.

"Good," he says, picking up the pace. His hips slam against yours as he takes you hard and fast. The chair creaked under their combined weight. "You're mine now, bunny," he pants out between moans. "Say it."

"Im yours, Ghost," you moaned. He continued the abuse on your pleading clit, leaving soft hits on it before starting to circle it again how you liked it. He read you like a novel that needs to be analyzed. He tried to interpret every movement of yours and intesed his flicks against your clit until you finally came, screaming and crying. Your head fell against his neck, and you bit it like a feral animal. Fuck you thought what has gotten into you.

"There's my good girl," he murmurs, he leaned down to kiss you roughly. His free hand squeezes one of your breasts as his cock continues to pound into you. "This is how a real man fucks." Simon picks up the pace even more, grinding against you as his hips smack against your perfect ass.

The head of his cock hits that sweet spot inside you, again and again, sending waves of pleasure through your body. "Fuck,"

"Ghost, please." You started to whimper, being completely cock drunk.

"Please, what, bunny?" he asks between moans. His thrusts become even more erratic as he loses control. "Do you want me to cum inside you?" he asked while his eyes turned darker at the thought of claiming you as his, his little innocent bunny.

"Yes"

"Yes, bunny?" he asks teasingly. His free hand left your breast to snake down between your legs, teasing at your clit. His cock is throbbing inside you as he takes you harder than ever before.

"Yes, yes, please." You started to beg, and you felt a bit pathetic.

"Yes, what, bunny?" he asks, his voice rough with desire.

"Cum inside of me, Ghost."

"You want me to cum inside you, bunny?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. His thrusts become even more erratic as he nears his climax. "Tell me how much you want it."

"So much, Ghost," you whined.

"Tell me you're mine," he demands, his voice laced with need. His cock is throbbing inside you as he reaches his peak, filling you with his hot cum. "Say it, bunny." You were in orgasmic bliss, clenching around him as he erupted inside of your willing womb. You took everything of his big cock and cum so eagerly, almost greedy, afraid someone would steal it from you. I'm yours."

"Tomorrow at 8 p.m., I will pick you up; we are getting dinner."

You looked at him confused, and he only chuckled, "Did you think I fucked my perfect girl and let you leave then? No, we are going out; well, only if you want to go on a date with this old perverted dog."

"It depends on whether you are ugly behind the mask."

"Quite the opposite, love."