#also alien vibes??? hello???

[mosneakers]

I love you, it's ruining my life

[positivelybeastly]

Continued from (x): @gutrage

It's a chilling look that Logan shoots him, all primal animality and vehemence, charged and annoyed, the kind of glare that would have the students running for the hills . . . but Henry P. McCoy is, by now, as much an expert in blithe indifference to those who could kill him as he is in genetics, biophysics, electrical engineering, etcetera, etcetera.

So, off the look plinks into the alien underbrush, deflected by the eccentric genius' knowledge that Logan is merely being his cantankerous self - and the silent assurance that, if it does come down to a scrap, he can more than hold his own.

"In case you needed a reminder, my exacts words were, 'don't be surprised, Logan, if you find something cute and defenceless that attaches itself to you while we're out there. If it happens on Earth as often as it does - and it happens very often - then there's no reason it shouldn't happen out there, in that final frontier.'"

His tone is one of idle amusement and merriment - in the days following Charles' death, smiles have been in very short supply indeed, and while he doubts Logan appreciates him smiling at his discomfort, well, he can't really help it.

The Wolverine simply cannot help but pick up strays. Some things are noted constants, regardless of the planet you happened to be frequenting at the time.

Flicking open his translator, Hank thumbed through all the major galactic languages that he'd downloaded from the S.W.O.R.D database, wondering if he might get a ping for whatever the little tykes were speaking. Galactic Basic, no; High Skrull, more like Highly Unlikely; Debased Kree, perhaps? Shi'ar Prime, definitely not, although? Merchant-Slang Majesdanian . . . he'd leave that one running, just in case. It had come in useful before, after all.

"You may not be mama, but have you considered that you may, in fact, be papa? Not the step-papa, but the papa that stepped up, so to speak?" Hank's entirely too amused at Logan's discomfort with the beasties swarming him, even as he consults his X-PDA to cross-reference their location with the map.

He's capable of multi-tasking, he can laugh and be useful at the same time.

"Besides, it may not have crossed your mind just yet, but does it not occur to you that you're fulfilling the X-Men's mission statement right now? The promotion of mutantkind, the protection of the innocent and the defenceless . . . granted, I don't know if Charles ever thought it would quite look like this." He gestured up at the incredible alien flora and fauna that surrounds them, dearly wishing he had time to conduct a full xenobiological survey and take samples - but, they were on the clock. And they needed a direction in which to head.

"🎶 There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going, there's no knowing where we're rowing, or which way the river's flowing, is it raining, is it snowing . . . 🎶"

He clicked his fingers, pointing east.

"Our destination, Logan. Give or take fifty meters, I'd say."

[silentwalrus1]

I like to think about what if the Kaminoans just, fucked all the way up and made the clones telepaths on purpose.

Kamino is in the Rishi maze, the equivalent of total buttfuck nowhere. This is like a cattle processing plant in rural Montana manufacturing an order for Shenzhen as outlined by a third party intermediary from Monaco who keeps contact with neither production nor “client” and nobody’s first language is Basic. Jedi are like, totally psychic right? Right. Psychic army for psychic clients, sounds right, checks out. There are whole ass telepathic alien species out there, some of which are also Jedi. Why would they want NON-psychic clones. Get it done, Tally Ho or Nala Says or whatever her name is. Chop chop.

Cue like seven years into production and the Kaminoan project leads are starting to get some… inklings…. that maybe some of the deliverable specs were perhaps not so much well-researched as based off cross-galactic hearsay some underpaid analysts pulled off space reddit. This is a business, okay? You’re not gonna make profit manufacturing two million units of fucking anything if you treat it like a luxury product, but especially not if the product has goddamn childhood development & socialization needs. Of fucking course some shit maybe slipped through the cracks. What are we supposed to fucking do now, Lama goddamn Sue sir, tell the Jedi or the pickled fucking Sith that oopsie woopsie, we got the specs wrong half a decade in and have to start over again?

No. No we are not. We are going to lie our fucking semi-aquatic asses off, is what we’re gonna do, and so will you clones if you know what’s good for you. NONE of you are fucking psychic, and you never were. Got that? Understood?

Fast forward to Jedi pickup D-Day and every time anyone with a lightsaber gets within aural biosystem of choice distance the clones immediately start loudly and dutifully Having Conversations.

Hello Commander Sir, It Is I, Trooper McSoldierClone, What A Weather It Is Today, Ha Ha? Over. Yes Indeed McTrooper One Two Three Four, I Am Agree, Now Here Is An Order To Follow Which I Am Vociferously Giving You, Acknowledge Orally, Over. Every clone making rock-hard sweating eye contact like don’t fuck it up as they mentally chant encouragement and script notes and jeering performance feedback at each other. Cadets trooping to fucking speech practice to learn speaking out loud with all the enthusiasm and skill of the average white suburban Floridian teenager taking their fifth mandatory Spanish 1 class. The jedi are like damn these poor asylum grown freaks are so unsocialized and uncomfortable around us, Their Owners, this is so tragic and horrid and unfortunate and meanwhile every clone standing silently in formation is mentally spectating the 400-person telepathic tetris team sport they invented with the same vibes as a football world cup back alley street party complete with official & unofficial betting pools and expert panel commentary

[rainerioun]

𝖧𝖮𝖶 𝖣𝖮 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖸 𝖵𝖨𝖤𝖶 𝖸𝖮𝖴? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hello! I thought I'd try and give a more in-depth reading. Interestingly, some of the piles seem to be similar. Perhaps this reading is meant for just a few people. I tried to keep it pretty general and unbiased whether we're talking about platonic or romantic connections, but it seems like there are hints of romantic feelings in all of them. However, if you're inquiring about a friendship or something similar, feel free to take what resonates and ignore the rest. <3

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : MARCH 22ND, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

How Do They View You? King of Wands | Queen of Swords | Death.

To start, this person respects you heavily. They perceive you as someone exuding confidence and leading by example. You've influenced them at the very least. If you're experiencing change or have recently undergone a transformation, they want you to know they're proud of you.

How Do They View You? Dragon : Seeing One's Most True Self, Balancing Ego. | Oyster : Patient, Secret-Keeper, Hiding Inner Treasures.

They see the real you, not just the image you project. If you're shy or uncertain, they want to remind you not to underestimate yourself, and to embrace your genuine beauty and intelligence. They know that everyone else wants to see it too. I believe that they might perceive your confidence as a sort of façade.

How Do They View You? Trickster — Light : Transcending Convention, Stuffiness and Predictable Behavior. Shadow : Manipulating Others Through Duplicity.

I didn't view this card negatively; it felt more like confirmation of what I said earlier. This person understands that you don't reveal everything and perhaps even play a role, though it may not be intentional. They recognize your tendency to use humor as a shield, but they wish you would let them in a bit more because they can see through you already.

How Do They Feel Around You? Determination, Balance, Cleanse, Magic, Protection.

When this person is around you, they experience a sense of balance and comfort. They feel a protective instinct towards you, given what they know about you, or vice versa. They long to express their love and appreciation more openly and receive it in return. Reach out to them more often!

Additional. Photograph : Looking at Your Photos, Missing You, Nostalgia, Make New Memories.

They miss you if there's any current separation or lack of communication. They might even be keeping an eye on you, whether through social media or mutual connections, just to ensure you're doing alright.

Extra: Aquarius, Change, 10, Unique, Libra, Scorpio, Emotions, Bittersweet, Funny, Summer Blues, Phone Call.

Alien Blues : Vundabar | Fine Line : Harry Styles | I Wanna Be Yours : Artic Monkeys.

PILE TWO

How Do They View You? Ten of Wands [Reversed] | Nine of Swords [Reversed] | Knight of Pentacles.

This person acknowledges your ambition but finds it amusing that you can also be a bit absent-minded. It's not meant as an insult but more of a playful tease. They believe you sometimes overlook the risks around you because you're so captivated and excited by what lies ahead, which can come off as slightly immature. It reminds them of a naive child who might need a gentle nudge in the right direction, so you don't leap off the cliff hoping to grab the sun. I can picture someone stumbling clumsily while the other bursts into loud laughter.

How Do They View You? Moth : Impulsive, Hasty, Wishful | Bee : Earnest, Hardworking, Democratic.

I find this dynamic incredibly endearing. They see you as someone goofy or even whimsical. You're sensitive and vibrant, drawing people to you effortlessly, which they appreciate. Sometimes, it seems like they want to slow you down a bit so you don't scurry off too quickly. You give off a jittery vibe at times.

How Do They View You? Rescuer — Light : Provides Strength and Support to Others in Crisis. Acts out of Love with no Expectation of Reward. Shadow : Assumes that the Rescued will Reciprocate. Goddess — Light : The Feminine Expressed through Wisdom, Nature, Life Force and Sensuality. Shadow : Exploitation of the Female Nature and Form.

This person admires your kindness and charm. I can picture them giggling nonstop whenever they're with you. It's as if you have no worries, just frolicking through life carefree.

How Do They Feel Around You? Sweetness, Success, Rejection.

Once more, you're incredibly sweet to them. Normally, they feel content in your company, but there might be moments when they feel rejected. If they've made a move and you've turned them down, that's the reason. They need time to move on and accept that boundary if don't reciprocate their feelings. If not, it's because they've been dropping hints left and right, and you're just too oblivious to pick up on them.

Additional. Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Shocking Attack. Camera : Remininscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn from the Past, Make Memories. Coffee Cup : Meeting and Conversing, Savoring the Moment, Feeling Uplifted, Friendship.

Yeah, they're definitely feeling a bit disheartened that their attempts to win you over aren't hitting the mark or are just going unnoticed. But hey, you don't owe them anything, so no need to feel guilty. Regardless, they want to keep being part of your life, cherishing the friendship you've both formed.

Extra : Pisces, Indecisive, Kind, 7, Individuality, Unique, Communication, Taurus, Leo, Cancer, Junebug, Wheel, Fields.

Dangerously In Love : Beyoncé. | Hanging Your Picture Up To Dry : Cut Worms.

[18+, SUGGESTIVE.]

PILE THREE

How Do They View You? Ace of Swords, Six of Swords, Wheel of Fortune [Reversed].

I wasn't anticipating this kind of reading when I shuffled the cards. I almost reshuffled to get a more generic and 'safe' result, but I decided against it. It seems this person likes you a little more than they probably should. They perceive you as someone incredibly self-assured and inspiring, maybe even a bit out of their league. Yet, despite feeling like they're chasing you, they don't seem to mind the playful challenge and are willing to put in the extra effort to break through your defenses.

How Do They View You? Cheetah : Solar Force, Action, Achievement. | Starfish : Beautiful, Alluring, Superficial or Shallow.

This seems pretty clear-cut, lol. They view you as someone with the potential to reach any goal, maybe because your appearance tends to influence people without you even trying. They're strongly attracted to you, but they're also aware they're not alone in admiring you.

How Do They View You? Queen — Light : Radiates the Regal Feminine. Uses Her Benevolent Authority to Protect Others. Shadow : Becomes Arrogant When Authority Is Challenged. Controlling and Demanding. Hero/Heroine — Light : Passion for a Journey of Personal Empowerment. Shadow : Escapism and a False Sense of Heroism.

They definitely put you on a pedestal in their mind. Sometimes you can get a little sassy or assertive because you're clear about what you want, and they find that irresistible. They truly appreciate the natural authority you exude.

How Do They Feel Around You? Passion, Trust, Hunger.

Do I really need to elaborate? For my own sake, I'll keep it brief. You light a fire within them, and they feel like they cannot control such feelings.

Additional. The Snake : Competition, Enemy, Clever, Malicious, Look Over Your Shoulder, The Other Woman. Kisses : Unconditionally Loving, Giving and Receiving Affection, Falling in Love.

As I mentioned, they feel this urge to compete for your affection with others. They might even experience a twinge of jealousy seeing someone else getting your attention while they're so invested in you. My advice is, if this is a secret admirer or a third-party situation, it's best to tell them where they stand. If you're not interested, it's important not to lead them on. However, if polyamory is part of your dynamic, then there's no need to worry about what I'm saying; it seems like they enjoy the thrill of the chase.

Extra: 6, Virgo, Possessive, Cancer, Fussy, Moon, Emotions, Strong Needs, Candles, Stack of Papers, Show Off, Linger, Lust.

Fields of Elation : Sleep Token | Somebody Else : Bad Omens | Lost in the Fire : The Weeknd.

[babybulbasaur920]

What Twisted Wonderland characters can say 🚬 the bad word for gay

(Inspired by Blake Jennings YouTube series)

Riddle: was probably taught to think it, cuz his mother gives me huge conservative vibes. Can theoretically say it, but you could not waterboard it out of him

Trey: I’m sorry, come for me if you must, but no. That hat is strictly for Reddit straight people. Like he most definitely has some “Live, Laugh, Love” sign in his room. Big ally though

Cater: can say it. Is the type to say it to your face and you think “did- did he just call me a slur?” And you realize five minutes later he’s bi

Ace: cannot say it. Not because he’s straight, because he used up his quota in middle school

Deuce: can definitely say it, but doesn’t because no one told him he could. Like Riddle, you could not waterboard it out of him

Leona: definitely can say it. Maybe. Gives me “normally straight but whatever happens after some drinks happens” vibes

Ruggie: look, I honestly am not a fan of him, but twink with a Everest level high voice. He can say it

Jack: eh, I’m on the fence

Azul: octopi are gay as hell. He can say it but won’t because this businessman is way to smart to alienate 94% of his classmates (victims)

Jade: eels can change between gender. He can say it. Doesn’t say it, because he’s a proper gentleman

Floyd: can say it. Doesn’t know it’s a slur, and laughs when you tell him. What, are you gonna stop him?

Kalim: no straight guy wears that much jewelry and is that obsessed with his “best friend” (Jamil, when I catch you😠). Can definitely say it. Doesn’t because Jamil told him it’s a bad word, doesn’t realize he is one of those for whom it is not a bad word

Jamil: girlboy swag. This bundle of pixels is like, right in the middle of the male and female gaze. Calling his classmates that word under his breath is how he gets through his day

Vil: yes. Without a doubt. But would he, is the better question

Rook: fuck yes. Like Vil, he wouldn’t say it, but it you pulled his hair and call him it, he may cream on the spot

Epel: can he say it? Debatable

Does he say it? Probably

Idia: sorry, have you read his ceremonial robe vignette? Boy is the general of the bisexual battalion, he can say it. For some reason it does sound really hateful coming from him though

Ortho: I plead the 5th regarding if this underage child can say it, lest I end up on Fox News. If he did, I feel it would be like if Hello Kitty said it. Like, would you really be mad? He’s bby

Malleus says it, but as it’s original definition as in, a bundle of sticks. He can say it in the gay way though. Bro gives new meaning to the word “dragon fruit”

Sebek also only knows it by the stick meaning but if he finds out it’s a slur, he would never say it again. I think he could, but he’d never tarnish his Waka-sama’s reputation like that

Silver, once again, knows it to mean a bundle of sticks. Something about him gives me asexual vibes, idk

Lilia, canonically bi and a discord kitten, he can say it. Thinks it’s funny to hear his kids say it, but would stop them if it became a problem

[sparrowlucero]

Hello sorry I am being shy and anon but do you have any advice for someone who wants to get into Doctor Who again after briefly dabbling (and enjoying it very much) in like the early, early 2010s? I know this is mostly your art blog but you were the only person I could think of to ask you're like the Doctor Who authority of blogs I follow

Oh yeah of course! People can be really confusing about this so I'll try not to be.

So first, the majority of doctor who episodes are self contained stories that you could just watch and understand perfectly without any further context. even when there is some overarching context it's usually written in a way that's either pretty easy to glean and/or just doesn't impact your understanding of the story. 99% of the episodes don't even care if you know the premise and are just like "what if some people were on a spaceship and the devil was there? wouldn't that be fucked up or what??". Don't feel like you have to binge a 60 years long show to watch it. Some standalone episodes I think are fun if you (or anyone else) just want to check out one or two:

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances (A supposed-to-be-dead boy in a gas mask haunts a young woman in world war 2)

Blink (A woman gets wrapped up in a mystery involving statues that make people disappear. This one is especially good if you flat out know nothing about the show. Has some really great time travel stuff.)

A Christmas Carol (A christmas carol pastiche (of course) where the doctor tries to rewrite the past of a cruel man who's going to let a lot of people die. very sad and sweet. I love the "wintery planet with sky fish" setting of this one)

Vincent and the Doctor (The famous Vincent Van Gogh Episode™)

The Rings of Akhatan (A pretty lowkey little adventure story about an alien festival. has supreme autumn vibes)

Flatline (A species from a 2 dimensional world tries to break into our 3 dimensional one. really fun special effects)

Midnight (A tour bus breaks down on a diamond planet where nothing can survive. Something knocks at the door.)

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead (The Doctor and friend go to a library that covers an entire planet and finds that everyone has disappeared. Has a lot of really great, interesting concepts baked into it that I won't spoil)

It Takes You Away (A girl is left alone in a cabin in the woods when her dad disappears through the mirror. Has a famously goofy ending that I really love)

73 Yards (A character is steps on a fairy circle and is followed by an old woman who always stands exactly 73 yards away)

The Devil's Chord (This doesn't really have, you know, a plot, but it does have jinkx monsoon as an evil music god)

Boom (The doctor steps on a landmine on an alien planet and cannot move)

Wild Blue Yonder (A two hander where the Doctor and co are trapped on a dilapidated spaceship at the edge of the universe. really atmospheric with some fun/strange visuals.)

That being said, it does add a lot to watch it in order; there's a lot of plot twists, character dynamics, and general payoff you get if you marathon it. I would personally recommend starting with either the first episode of the 2005 show ("Rose") or the first episode of the 2010 season ("The Eleventh Hour") and just watching in order from there. I think you could also start with "The Snowmen", "The Pilot", or "The Woman Who Fell To Earth" if you wanted, but the first two (especially rose) are the better jumping on points.

some other little notes of advice I don't often see people mention:

it's stupid sometimes just roll with it

once in a while the show sort of "reboots" with different writers, actors, directors, and a new tone. it's much more like watching several small shows than one long show, so don't be too put off by the length!

IMPORTANT: pretty much all streaming services will separate holiday/anniversary specials from the show proper and you have to deliberately search them up on the same service to find them. It's really necessary to be aware of this because many of these specials are the first or last episodes for characters/whole eras of the show and are genuinely unskippable. I strongly recommend looking up a list of the episodes and checking it after finales just to make sure you don't skip anything on accident.

there's two spin offs (Torchwood, a more adult (read: gay sex) show about a mysterious agency that solves sci fi crimes, and the Sarah Jane Adventures, a pretty good monster of the week kids show) that ran concurrently with season 1-4. You don't have to watch them to understand anything happening in doctor who, but sometimes they cross over with the show in fun ways, Ex. the first season finale of Torchwood continues directly into season 3 of Doctor Who. My friend and I got a kick out of watching them at the same time so maybe you will too. (either way I recommend watching "Children of Earth", the torchwood miniseries, if you want to see a weird dark sci fi show about the government making contact with aliens. It's a bit like arrival (2016) if it was way nastier.)

alternatively, you can inject fast acting brain poison into yourself with this

anyways I hope this all reads as, you know, more approachable than the way dudes on quora recommend this show:

[harrysmimi]

Whiskey

Synopsis: One where Harry falls for someone but he's married

Ps. This one also has an open ending I can write a part two if I get enough requests or responses on this. And idky I named this Whiskey honestly. Hehe.

Wordcount: 13k+

Part 2

More of my work | Read on Wattpad

CW: Mentions of alcohol, absent parents.

......................................................................

Harry had everything!

He owned a multi million dollar company, several smaller businesses. He had lavish manshion, fancy cars and he wore nothing but Gucci.

In his case it seemed to be true; Money can't buy happiness.

He dreaded to go home every evening after work. Truly!

So everyday after he gets off of his meetings and daily check-ins. We made an habit of asking his driver to take him to this pub in the town.

The first time he was there, he found the vibes to be immaculate. Everyone minding their own business, a corner with huddled up by a table having little quizzes, old people hanging out just by themselves or in groups, the bar was mostly empty. Even if it was full, it wasn't suffocating like his fifteen-million dollar mantion was starting to feel to him. A perfect Saturday night.

"Hello, can I please get a whiskey?" He asked the barkeep. It was a girl. She looked up at him confused as if he said something alien to her, spared a glance tothe other bartender. But proceeded to get him his drink with trembling hands, with a coaster placed on the bar she placed his drink on top of it. That's when he noticed she poured a little too much in his glass. With a hesitant smile she got back to her work.

He saw that she had a wipe cloth in her hard, and there was just one other barkeep serving four other people. She wiped around the counter and picked up the empty glassware.

"You don't barkeep that often?" Harry asked, not minding the extra ounce of alcohol he got served. The girl looked at him through her glasses perched up on the bridge of her nose.

It was evident on her face she didn't like working there, but she shook her head in no. Most bartenders would love to have conversations.

"I just help cleaning around." She shrugged.

Harry swore he saw the softest smile on her face there as she threw the cleaning cloth on her shoulder, and went on to get pick up the glasses which were newly abandoned now.

Harry sat there sipping on his drink until she returned. Hearing her voice, he wanted to have a conversation with her, about what, he didn't know.

He downed his Whiskey in one go when he saw come back out, it burnt his throat but it was good kinda burn. He shook his head, letting lit a soft groan of a sigh. He wanted to feel that burn so bad!

"Can I have another, please?" He asked the girl, again.

She glanced over at the barkeep again, sighing she pull out away before she pulled out a clean one to pour another glass of whiskey from him. This time a little less.

"Follow the two finger rule." He told her. She glanced at him confused so, he gestured it to her setting two of his fingers horizontally against his empty glass. She tried to mimick him but Harry noticed how small her hands are in compare to his, but she was smart enough to pick up on it and take the ridges on the glass into consideration when she poured just enough this time and replaced his empty glass on the same coaster.

"Thank you for the help." She said, "I don't make the drink here, so I just didn't know. Please don't tell the owner about this."

"It's alright, love." Harry assured her, "I am Harry by the way."

"YN." She smiled.

Actually smiled at him!

A tiny smile. But it was something at least.

She had to get back to work as she could see her boss glaring daggers at her. But soon enough he asked for another glass lf Whiskey. And watch concern take over her pretty eyes.

"You recently started working here?" He asked, not to be creepy but he just didn't know how to start a conversation with her.

"No, I've been working here for four years." She shared, wiping down the counter in front of ber for the millionth time.

"Strange, and you don't know how to pour a Whiskey?"

"Like, I said, I don't make drinks here. We have Sam for that." She spared the Barkeep a glance who was now mixing an intricate drink which was entertaining enough for the drunk customers. "I don't want to bother him because he's been having a bad day today."

Harry could understand. The man putting up a smile on his face for sure. A completely different scenario than his own but he could relate.

"I see." He sounded.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

Harry handed her his card as he was done for the night. Not wanting to get drunk his ass off and have to deal with a headache and a lecture the next day from his wife. YN returned with his card and his bill. He placed his card back in his wallet just as he was about to slip it back in his pocket, he opened it back up and grabbed all the cash he had, six bills of hundred pounds, he placed it on the bill before he grabbed his phone and ready to leave.

"Harry!" He heard a call of his name, "I, uhh, I think you left this." He turned to look at the girl.

"No, that's for you. A tip." He explained, running a finger under his nose subconsciously.

"This is a lot. I am afraid I can't take it." Her voice was very low and he was stood just an arm's distance from her.

"That's okay, I won't tell anyone." A cheeky smirk took over his features, "have a nice rest of the night, YN. And keep it, please." He shot a little wave before he made his way out feeling the alcohol kicking in. That'll help him sleep.

......................................................................

On the Tuesday night, he figured that the girl he saw on the weekend at the pub only worked on weekends. It was a bummer. But that didn't stopped him from ordering his usual.

"Harry, what the fuck is going on with you?" He heard his wife the first thing when he stepped a foot inside.

"Aella, not now." He sighed making his way upstairs.

"No, you've been coming home late. Now apparently you've been drinking. What the fuck is going on? You don't even want to help me around anymore." Aella hissed at him.

That wasn't true. He does help her around still. She never does one thing for him except cook, he doesn't expect her to do anything either. He does his own laundry, makes his own breakfast because she likes to sleep in, he cleans up after him like a grown human he is, he never once asked her to do anything for him.

Why was he so frustrated you may ask?

It's been more than a year now feeling distanced from his partner of ten years. Aella have been nothing but emotionally abusive to him. Ever since his business had taken off from past year and half, it also meant his work load being doubled up.

He's got about twenty thousand people working for his company doesn't mean it takes away all the responsibilities he's got towards his firm. He takes his work seriously. Though he doesn't mind helping around with chores, he lives there of course he does his part and even more at times. Just this morning he had her yelling right in his ear how she haven't been able to go shopping because he has been spending more time at the office to help her do the house chores, so she can have nice time and go out shopping with her friends.

The love they had when they were eighteen, in college, back when he had nothing but debt to his name. Now she sees him as a some credit card and a house maid, she runs away from spending time with him. Hell, he can't even remember the last time they had a meal together and talked about anything but his works or her shopping around. He can't even remember the last they made love. She doesn't talk to him unless she wants to borrow the credit card or when she needs him do certain chore in the house. It was these stupid little things which could be solved easily if she had the patience to talk it through.

He just keeps it to himself now, and does whatever he has to do so she isn't bickering around him. She doesn't want to hire people to help around when they can clearly afford. He wants peace when he's back home.

Right now making his way straight to the guest bedroom seemed rhe best option to him which have become his new bedroom. "We'll talk tomorrow." He mumbled.

......................................................................

It was Saturday and he didn't even noticed. Luckily he was able to get off work early as his assistant did most of his work voluntarily because he wanted a raise. Harry asked him to talk to the manager about it today.

He was going to go see his sister at the mall. She was there to pick up her shoes for her wedding and get her gown fitted for first time. Being her Man of Honour, it was something he was really taking interest into. His older sister was getting married to the love of her life!

That's probably the only thing in his life keeping him sane right now. Watching his sister so happily get married.

Just as he was passing the Nike store, he swore he saw the girl from the Pub from last weekend with a little ten year old boy. She was bullying him one moment and then pressing a kiss on his head. That reminded him of how Gemma still treats him, even though he's now pushing his thirties.

"Gem!" He beamed finally seeing his sister. "Oh, I missed you so much!" He pulled her in a bear hug.

"Oh, I missed you too!" She cooed. "You're gonna break my ribs!" He chuckled, pulling away finally. "How have you been?"

"Ms. Styles, the fitting room is ready for you." A lady approached them there.

"Oh yeah, thank you so much." Gemma beamed, "I'll go put on the dress."

"Of course, of course!" Harry urged her to go after the lady. He took a seat on the sofa, all he knew was this time Gemma was alone as their mum was busy with work. Anne has been helping out Gemma alot recently now that Harry has a shit load of work put on him. He patiently waited for his sister, watching other people get their dresses around the store. Happy tears and excited squeals were to be heard all over the floor.

His sister finally walked out of the fitting room with her finished up dress. It was exactly like the sketch she had shown him a few weeks ago. A fluffy Aline skirt with a bodice with sweetheart neckline. Her hair tied up in a low bun with the veil pinned in. He stood up from his place.

Now that made everything all the more legit to him.

He clearly remembers how he was accusing for being a drug dealer at eight for something she did to piss him off as if it was just yesterday, now she's all dressed up to be married. Yes, she's the older one but he's still brother. He's always seen her like a princess and his mum a a queen growing up.

"Awh, Harry!" Gemma cooed watching him get all teary eyed. She walked to him to hug him.

"You look so gorgeous!" He mumbled to her. Gemma pulled away to take a look at him, she just chuckled watching a tear make it's way down his cheek. She wiped it off cupping his face before hugging again. He hugged her back, rubbing her back twice, letting her go so she can do what they're here for.

During the appointment, he gave his own little insights what should be added more to the dress, whilst Gemma gave in her own about the fit of dress to her comfort.

Later that afternoon he was dragging her with him to a Tiffany store. She haven't picked out jewellery to go with her dress, and he had exactly piece in his mind from the last time he was there with his wife. It was simple diamond necklace made in platinum, a pair of diomond studs to go it.

"Harry you really don't have to." Gemma told him.

"Please, I want to." He made a puppy face, "it's a wedding present to my big sister."

"It's too expensive."

"But you're too precious to me, please lemme do you lemme do this" He insisted. "You can for something else too if you'd like."

"No, this is perfect." She rushed before he was going around looking for something else for her to choose from, probably something more expensive. "Thank you, Harry. You're the best brother anyone could ask for!"

"I love you, Gem, that's all." He chuckled.

"I love you too!" She said firmly.

On her way out, she was back to bullying him as they walked to the restaurant near by for early dinner. The day out with his sister was well spend. Much more happier than his time at home.

Though he haven't shared anything with Gemma about bis failing marriage, she did picked on his low mood. In the fleeting moments, she caught her baby brother lost somewhere or just having his shoulders slumped. He'd pull himself right up when he'd see her noticing him.

He dropped her back to her flat before he was asking his driver to take him to the pub. On the way he made a few calls to appoint a a few helpers at home, making sure they are being offered a fair salary. They already had a cook, because he doesn't have the time to make food and Aella doesn't seem to be interested in cooking or stepping a foot in kitchen unless it's to get something to eat.

He doesn't blame her, he finds cooking a bit exhausting too.

Rich people problems, he taunted himself.

Just when he stepped into the Pub, his eyes caught the sight of the girl. Taking a tray of beer glasses to the table where they held quizzes and little competitions, but today everyone was watching the Euro. He noticed she was dressed in all black, a pair of black baggy jeans, an oversized sweatshirt, but her shoes were white. Or supposed to be white with how beaten up they looked. Her long hair pulled up in a ponytail on the back of her head, and a pair of glasses he'd seen her wear the last time.

He had to keep his feelings in check as he's caught a bit of infatuation with this girl. He's married. Even though he might not be happy in his relationship in the moment, that doesn't mean he shouldn't even be looking at other people. There is nothing that sitting down with his wife and talk it all out wouldn't fix anything, he just needs to be in right state of mind to initiate the conversation.

He went to sit on his usual spot. There were hardly any people around there, everyone huddled up near the projector screen watching the match. Even the barkeep was paying attention to the game. Everyone was interested in the game apart from YN and him obviously.

"Hello," she smiled politely at him. Doing her job.

"Hello." He kep his phone face down on the bar in front of him. "I'll have the same, Whiskey please."

"Alright." She nodded and got him the drink, sticking to the little tip he gave her to pour the rught amount of whiskey in the glass and placed it right in front of him. Immediately got back to her work, taking in more glasses of alcohol to go serve the people sat in the crowd. When she got back, she stopped right by him.

"Oh, hey Harry, I just wanted to thank you for last week for the tip." She started, "my little brother got selected in his Cricket team at school so he needed new sport shoes which are very expensive. Thank you so much for tipping, even though I was being hesitant to take it. I wouldn't be able to buy him a pair otherwise."

Now that warmed his heart, the cash went to a very good use. "Aw, it's alright, love. I'm happy fo hear that."

She just smiled at him again and got back to her work. Never looked back, unless he needed another drink.

Now all she did was thank him for helping her unknowingly. He ate or drank outside rarely (though it's becoming a norm for him to visit this pub now a days), everytime he made sure to leave a generous tip for the people doing their job.

He had the same job at one time, and he knew how rude some self entitled people can get. He's managed to stay that grounded with his success.

She still had his heart fluttering in his chest as he watched her go about her evening. Working herself to exhaustion.

He couldn't but notice the way she just kept going, around drunk people. Her dark hair pulled up in a bun held up on the back of her hair with a green claw clasp, little pieces of hair falling onto her face.

"How old is he?" He spoke, initiating the conversation.

"Hmm?" YN looked at him as she was too busy putting back the clean glasses on the shelves. "Oh, he's twelve." The smile on her pushed her cheeks up, making her pretty eyes grow smaller.

"You aren't watching the game?"

"I am more into Cricket, actually." She shared, "I don't quite understand football. Don't you wanna watch it?"

"Oh no, I'm here for just a little bit then I'll be heading home." He rushed.

Honestly, he did enjoyed watching football because his wife did. They were friends throughout the highschool, and she played in the girls football team. One of the many reasons why he fell for her in the first place. Luckily they got into same college and started dating, got married after graduation and now there they are. He's sat in a pub downing his third Whiskey for the night, and she is god knows where.

Aella wasn't home when he left for work. He hasn't heard from her since.

He had two more tonight, before he was heading home. Leaving another big tip for YN.

......................................................................

It was a Monday morning, which meant chaos in YN's household.

Being the eldest of five siblings, she is always crushed by her little brothers and sister.

They all lived in a two bedroom flat, clearly not enough room for family of eight. Though, her parents were the most calmest, her dad passed out drunk his ass off on the sofa in the living room, she's in kitchen making breakfast for everyone.

YN was was just moving around the house, getting ready to leave for work whilst her siblings ate their breakfast, when she almost tripped over her dad passed out fast asleep on the rug in living room.

"Adi, who gave him money to go out drink last night?" She asked, as it reeked on alcohol that early in the morning in the living room, obviously she looked at the second eldest.

"Don't look at me like that, I haven't even seen him in five days!" Adi raised his hands up.

"Maa, did you?" She walked in the kitchen to watch her mum just doing ber work, acting nonchalant. That made her loose her mind there. "Haven't I told you clearly, not to give him any cash?" She asked.

"Maa, fucking answer me!" She raised her voice. "I work my ass off just for you to go on and feed to his addiction, huh? I can't fucking believe you!"

"Watch your language, you're talking to your mum!" Her mum raised her voice even louder.

"Don't tell me to watch my language, when you can't watch your actions." She pointed out the very obvious, the bulging stomach of her mum. "Just for your fun of few minutes you're ruining our lives here, you can't watch that?"

"YN, please it's eight in the morning." Adi spoke.

"Shut the fuck up and eat your breakfast!" She scolded the boy, "if I see either you give even a pound to either her, or him, you'll be grounded for good. Do you hear me?"

"Yes!" The boy nodded.

What was the reason behind her sudden outburst, you may wonder?

It was because, she works three jobs to look after brothers and sister, when their parents can't clearly do that. Her dad's an alcoholic and her mum doesn't simply cares. It's a rare thing that she's even up in the morning stepping a foot in the kitchen for any other reason than to eat.

Yes, that's not the only job of a mother to do. But she doesn't have an actual job, she doesn't help around the house, or have she ever helped around with the kids.

It is her who pays all the bills, pays the rent, pays for groceries, and even kids' school fees. Her little brothers could help just so much working part time, the eldest of the boys are eighteen and sixteen. The youngest born being three, and another sibling on the way.

Yeah, it was fucked up. Quite literally!

Somehow she had just managed to get her degree, on wil full scholarship, and it was just her and three of her brothers (which out of two also had full scholarship paying for their school fees) when her parents shared the new of a new baby. Well, that wasn't a problem until their mother started to neglect them either. YN has had it enough when they welcomed the youngest, a girl three years ago.

Apart from working a desk job from Monday to Friday, doing all ghe over time shifts to the point her boss has to force her to take days off so she doesn't sue the firm in future, to working odd jobs on weekends just so she can eat with her brothers and little sister. It was atrocious how their parents treated them, for her to work herself to exhaustion just for her mum to go on give her dad money to go out and get drunk his ass off. She trusted her mother, really did, that is she doesn't want to get a job or even help around the house that much, at least she can go get groceries.

"Come on now, if you all done with your breakfast." YN looked down grabbing her bag to leave for work, she walks her siblings to school everyday.

"YN, you know I'm doing my best to help you right?" Adi spoke walking along his big sister's side as the other kids walked ahead.

"I know, but I want you to focus on your studies first." YN shared. He's a clever boy, and loves to study. "Thank you for helping around though. I really appreciate that!"

He chuckled, "your welcome!"

"Now come on, best of luck for your test."

"How do you know that?" He stood there in surprise at the gate of his school. YN just shrugged.

"Bye, see you tonight. Please take the kids straight home."

"I will, I will." With a salute to his sister he walked back in.

YN made her way to her office taking a train. I was a small firm where she got to do her intership. She hoped to work an extra intership and study further just so she can get her dream and not be stuck being an accountant. No doubt she likes her job, it's a teeny bit enjoyable too, but it doesn't pay her enough to take care of the family she was born in. That makes her hate her job in this firm.

She needed an extended intership to apply at her dream company, Styles and Co., one of her favourite textile and fashion company in the city. The firm was very particular about hiring new people into their work family. The post she wanted to apply for paid so well. But she was stuck to get a proper job which paid her to survive.

It was like salt on her wounds seeing the building stand tall on her way to work everyday there. She glanced at the building, with the company name written in big, bold letters in gold on the building. Sighing she fixed her gaze on the ground as she walked two buildings down, but she bumped into someone.

"Oh!" She gasped, a steady hand on her arm prevented her from falling straight on her ass in the middle of the pavement.

"You alright?" She heard a deep voice.

"Yeah." She nodded finally looking up at the man dressed in a baby pink suit. To her surprise it was was the man from the bar where she worked on weekends. "Oh hi."

"Hello love, good morning." He beamed as dimples dented deep in his cheeks. "How come you're here?"

"Oh, I work two buildings down." She said.

"At the Darwin's, that Finance company?" He asked, surprised and confused. "Thought you worked at the pub?"

"I do, on weekends." She smiled, now getting awkward as he was trying to get to know her work life, "you work here?" She pointed at the building she can only dream to work at.

Harry looked at her trying to hold back his smile, "yeah. I do work here." He didn't wanted to tell her that that was his firm.

"Oh, nice." She nodded, feeling the jealousy build up in her chest all of a sudden. No wonder how he was so well dressed all the time, and leave her huge tips at the pub. She wanted to work there too! "Anyway, I'm getting late for work."

"Yeah, see you around." He said, watching her throw a petite wave at him as she started walking down the street to her work place.

Her heart was thumping against her chest as if it was about burst out of it's cage anytime soon. She could feel the lingering touch of his hand on her bicep still, she didn't know he was holding to keep her steady. It would be a lie to not say that YN's caught on a tiny little crush on this man who she'd met all for five times with brief interactions.

He's extremely polite and a complete gentleman. And also he's so darn pretty. Eyes green as a spring garden, skin as soft looking as a peacock feather, smile as bright as a ray of first morning sunshine. His aura was nothing but pretty pink and golden shades to her. As if he's human form of a golden retriever. Or maybe that's her mind putting together his image as a person in her imagination.

She haven't slept thinking about him late at night.

Yeah, she's fucked. She doesn't know shit about him and she's going crazy like a teenager for someone she saw at the place of weekend job. Or maybe she's just too lonely that it's her subconscious trying to help her with her loneliness. Shaking her head she got to work, longing into her work system.

"Hey YN." She heard Tom, her co-worker who was also her classmate in uni, who annoying worked in the cubical next to hers.

"Hi." She mumbled.

"How is your day going so far?" Tom asked.

"Good, yeah it is good." She nodded, frustratingly.

"Good to know." He nodded, taking a moment before he spoke again. But YN got a call from the manager asking her to go see him.

Tom never bothered YN for the rest of the day. It was after break that YN felt her frustration and anger melting down.

"You know he likes you." Jamila, the girl who sat on the other side of YN spoke, taking full advantage of Tom still being on his linch break.

"Who?" YN stopped her work to look at the curly haired girl next to her.

She leaned back on her chair, "Tom. He likes you and has been trying to ask you out."

"What? Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah, he did. Remember the last time you were being kicked out to take a vacation?" Jamila reminded her.

"Thay was like a year ago." YN added.

"Yeah!" The girl exclaimed, "he's in love with you! But you keep pushing away the poor boy away!"

"Boy? He's a thirty year old man." YN scoffed jokingly.

"And you're twenty-seven. What does it matter? He's an amazing guy." She pressed. It was true. Tom is truly an amazing guy. He's polite, caring and understanding. He certainly doesn't take no shit from their manager like others. He listened to YN sob once when her boyfriend broke up with her, because she didn't had time for him. He does all the bare minimum.

"I think you should put an halt to taking care of the kids who aren't really your responsibility, and give time to yourself." Jamila spoke, "it's time for your mum to be a grandma and she's popping out another kid when she can't take care of the six she already got. That's not fair for you."

"I don't want to talk about that now, Jamila." YN sighed getting back to her work, "those kids are my siblings, I love them."

Jamila didn't wanted to ruin her mood already, so she stopped there.

"Coffee for the ladies!" Tom announced as he placed a cup of coffee each on his colleagues' table, he placed a sandwich he got from the canteen downstairs on YN's. That's when she realised she haven't gotten up from her chair for her break.

"Thanks." She acknowledged the sweet gesture.

"No problem." He smiled and got back to his work.

On the other hand, Harry was surprised to see Aella at his office for the fifth time from last week. He saw from the little window which gave him clear view of the management floor talking to his PA. It gave him hope, that she's there to see him. Talk to him. Maybe they could go out to get lunch, but instead she dropped the lunch on the PA's desk and walked off to where he doesn't know.

His heart sunk to his stomach as he felt a headache burning behind his eyes. He heard a knock on his door which got him sniffling as he looking up. "Come in, please."

"Sir, Mrs. Styles left lunch for you." Mike said.

"Oh, yes please leave it on the table." Harry smiled, "thank you."

"Sure sir." Mike placed the paper bag on the coffee table in his cabin and left.

It was an hour later when he got a notification five thousand pounds being debited from the joint account he had with his wife. It was ridiculous how she spent money like there's no tomorrow. But if he says anything she's going to make a huge fuss about it. So he just went on with his day.

He couldn't take it. He called his assistant to tell him that he's leaving early today. And he did. He was going straight home.

Harry really wants to work this out with his wife. Getting a divorce felt so wrong to him, especially thinking back at how miserable his own parents were. But he's miserable staying in this marriage.

Just as he was waiting for the lift, placing an order for flowers to pick up on the way home on his phone he saw Aella was still there. She was leaving his Financial Advisor's office there.

"Aella?" He said, catching her like a deer in headlights. "What are you doing here?" It was inevitable to deny that his heart beat picked up a pace in his chest with a racing mind his skull.

"Harry, I, uhhh, I was just saying Hi to Richard." She stuttered with a smile on her face. "You, ehm, you want to go home now?"

As if the universe was coming to rescue her the lift door opened with a ding. Harry followed her in. He doesn't want to make a commotion in his office. He was going to wait until in the comfort of their house to even say a word.

......................................................................

"Kids!" YN announced when she got back home with a cake and a few balloons. "Come on, come on!" It was the little Zara's birthday.

The sleepy four year old was having a hard time staying up, on the sofa as their dinner was served close to midnight. It broke YN's heart to see the kids have their dinner this late. She wished he had extra hours in day for this. Their parents already starting to argue like everyday, today the topic was Mac and cheese for dinner.

But she urged the kids to one of the bedrooms so they can celebrate without seeing their parents arguing. She doesn't want the little girl's birthday to be ruined.

Zara was the youngest amd all four of her brothers are very protective of her so if YN. She's spoilt with so much love from her siblings there.

"Happy birthday to you." Every sang little Zara the birthday song as Adi lit the candles on the cake. "Happy birthday dear tiny little Zozo, happy birthday to you!"

"Yay!" YN cheered.

"Blow on the candles." Adi suggested. The little girl could do so much, so YN blew on the candle herself.

"How old are you?" YN asked.

"Four!" Zara held out five fingers instead making her siblings laugh.

"Silly, that's five." The second youngest, Sid giggled pointing out the obvious.

"That's okay." YN cooed, "come on let's eat the cake now!"

The kids went absolutely ham on the cake after eating the shitty mac and cheese their mum made. It was gone and gone. Zara was a mess with chocolate all over tiny hands and chubby cheeks. YN had her cleaned up and changed into clean clothes before she put her off to bed.

"Come on, boys off to bed you go." She announced. "Uh, before you go to bed, throw you laundry in the machine."

"Yes!" Samar, the third youngest said as he walked out with Sid.

"YN, did you got paid today?" Veer, the second oldest of the boys said.

"No, I went to help my friend at her shop after work. I'll get paid by tomorrow, why?"

"No, I just asked." He shrugged.

"What's wrong?" YN stopped him.

"We haven't paid for internet in past two months, I need to do my projects. Doesn't mean I got selected in the cricket team I don't have to do the projects." He shared, "Adi doesn't even let me use the laptop, and the computers at school suck!"

"Why doesn't he let you use the laptop?" She walked her to the boys' room which they all shared, "Adi, why don't you let him use the laptop for the projects?"

"He never asked me!" Adi defended himself. And the boys started arguing. It took YN a good half an hour to resolve the fight being a median when things escalated.

"I'll pay for the Wifi tomorrow after I get, no more fighting now. Go to bed." YN warned the boys before she walked out closing the door behind her. She put the laundry the machine and started it so it is all done by the morning, before she went to bed herself. It was their daily shenanigans, fighting and arguing with one another for something or other.

......................................................................

"Why were in Richard's office, Aella?" Harry asked.

"I told you, I was saying hi to him."

"Yeah? It took you three hours to say hi to him?" He could feel his heart thumping in his ears at this point. "Admit it Aella, there is no running away from this."

"Admit it god damn it!" He yelled when she said nothing. "Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Why? Why would you go on and cheat!" He felt his eyes tearing up, "I have been trying my best to make this right, every time I come to talk to you. You just scoot away! Why?"

"I am so sorry, Harry." She looked down at her feet, "I am so sorry, you just haven't been there for lately."

"So you go on and cheat instead of talking this through with me?" He broke down, plopped down on the breakfast bar chair.

"You have been busy lately you don't even look at me!" She cried, "I couldn't take it. I am sorry that was so stupid of me."

"How long?" He asked, holding back tears. "How long have this been going on?" But she didn't say a word to him, "fine. Just leave me alone."

"Harry, please." Aella grabbed onto his hand, so tight it was sure going to redden his skin, "please! I am so sorry. Please, please, please let's just talk this through. I can't. I am sorry."

"Just leave me alone, Aella. Just..." He pulled his wrist out of her grip carefully before he walked back to his (guest) bedroom.

......................................................................

These past few months has been nothing but shit. He found out his wife has been cheating on him. With his Financial Advisor, Richard from past one year. It has been going on for a year. Richard was fired to say the least.

It has been a lot for him, mentally and emotionally.

It wasn't in him to even look at the woman he love and adore since he was eighteen. Twelve years she threw under the bus like it was no one's business. But he found himself going to therapy with her. Today was their fourth session and he just can't even get through it with her sat next to him. Harry doesn't even know how Aella convinced him to go to couple's therapy, or where he got the energy to put with the four sessions along her side.

She was back at it again. Taunting him for busy with work, not helping her around, not allowing her to use the credit cards for her shopping anymore was the new one, along with him asking her to look for a job now. He hadn't spoken a word about her choice on being a housewife, it was her choice and he was very willing to take care of her when they got married. It was what they agreed upon. But her spending have been going way out of hand for Harry to even fathom how she could be spending thousands and thousands of pounds on things she doesn't even use. Even once. She needed a bit of humbling, that's what their therapist suggested.

It wasn't something knew but happening since they got married and it had started to bother him now. He tried his best to express what he was feeling and yet have her lash out on him for not respecting her own life decisions. Even going as far as to reminding him the vows he said to her.

It was yet another weekend when Harry found himself walking in the pub again.

"Can I have one old fashioned please?" Harry asked the bar keep who was surprising working on the side he usually sits today. He saw YN walking around picking up empty glasses of liquor around the pub and bringing them back to clean them up and put them back, that's what he's seen her do all the time here.

"Hi, Harry!" She greeted him once she noticed him sitting there, continuing her work.

"Hello," he found himself smiling back at her. She was wearing the same black jeans and a different black hoodie this time. It has started to get cold he'd noticed. The same pair of glasses perched up on the bridge of her nose. He noticed the new pink tint on her cheeks and lips, the length to her eye lashes behind her glasses- maybe she's wearing a new mascara!

"How was your day?" Yeah, that question was coming from him. He was making up the conversation again.

"It was pretty shit." She shrugged, wiping the glasses and putting them away one by one, "my manager at my desk job basically confiscated my work phone and laptop so I take the yearly paid vacation."

"Why would that be a shit day?" He was surprised, "you should happy about it."

"Not when you-" she paused not wanting to tell her life struggles to this man she has met only handful of times, "when you need the job so bad."

"Doesn't your job pay you well?" He took a big gulp of his drink and she just shrugged.

She wasn't to stand there and tell him most of it goes to paying, rent and bill and paying up for her second youngest brother's school fees. That she needs to work those extra jobs to really be able to get groceries and things which are required without any announcement or signs. Like new shoes for the kids, new clothes, new books, new stationary, a new bag pack and what not! Plus the yearly school fees for the kids who don't yet have scholarships.

"I see." He finished up his drink.

YN cringed at watching people drink around her when she despise her own father for doing the same. Why wouldn't she, this thing has torn her family apart to shreds. She hated to work here but it paid more than half of what her desk job pays her monthly.

Her father was fired from his job when her oldest (little) brother was born, because he would sneak alcohol in his water bottles. Her mother never worked, but she stopped caring once it was all too much for her. But one constant thing is that they keep having kids. Which is annoying. Very fucking annoying.

"How was your day?" She asked.

She wanted to keep up with the conversation!

"It was pretty shit for me too." He shrugged. Because it was true. He'd just walked out of the therapy session with his cheating wife.

"Did your boss force your to take days off too so you wouldn't sue their firm?" She smirked a cheeky little smile, "or did they force you to come to office?"

He chuckled, "the former."

Liar!

"Awh! I understand that." She cooed, "I hope you enjoy your paid vacation!"

"I hope so too." He nodded and ordered himself another drink.

"Mhmm!" She affirmed, "are you planning to go anywhere?"

And they talked about his imaginary and impromptu vacation to the Bahamas, and what he would like to do there. He just wasn't going to break her bubble there. She thinks he's just guy who works a very well paying job at one and not an actual CEO and owner of a multi-million dollar firm.

It was grounding but he also like how she found him and his talk interesting enough to care. Even about his fake plans there.

She didn't lash out on him at any point. She listened to him. Gave her own little views. Like how he should try all the coconut drinks and goodies and the local food at his trip to Bahamas which he's planning on to cancelling the very next weekend he sees her. Until she told him she would be continuing to work at the pub for the rest of ber two weeks off.

He forgot his second old fashioned he ordered as it was there. Especially when she started talking about his firm and how she wanted to work there but their skill requirements are something which will take her another life to acquire, having no idea she was talking to the CEO.

It was way better than going to couple's therapy.

Though he thinks he needs therapy. But the solo ones.

He made sure to leave her and the bar keep separate tips, being biased on her even though she didn't serve him anything tonight.

"You can't keep giving me big tips, Harry." She said, holding the money in her shaky hands, "I'd feel too bad to keep it every time."

"Please, it might help plan yourself a little trip to somewhere." He suggested.

Yeah, probably up till the grocery store...?

But she didn't wanted to argue with that so she went on with her work after he finally left. She'd spent her entire shift there. It was one in the morning, she needed to head home. So she clocked out and started making her little (very long) treck to the train station.

It wasn't until she sensed a car coming to an halt where she just passed and someone walking behind her closely. She pulled out her pepper spray from the water bottle compartment and had her fist ready.

"YN, don't punch me!" She heard the voice which was talking her ears off not even ten minutes ago.

"Oh my god!" She let out a gasp of relief. Sort of. If it weren't of him holding onto her hands she would have been lying on the ground, passed out.

She only knew his first name for god's sake!

"You alright?" He asked.

"Mhmm. I was just walking home. What are you doing here?"

"I was heading home too when I saw you walking down the pavement alone this late." He explained, "you want me to drop you off?" He saw someone following her close by there.

"No, it's okay." She smiled hesitantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We've met handful of times, I shouldn't have said it like that." He cleared his throat, "but I promise you can trust me." He looked glanced behind him as he could hear foot steps coming their way.

"It's okay, Harry, I am gonna take the train." It wasn't assuring enough for him.

Just as Harry was about to tell her he saw someone following her at a distance, that guy got close by, snatching her bag he ran away. Every happened in the blur but she saw the little blade in the hand of that person.

"No, wait!" She called Harry as he was about to take off after the guy, "He's got a knife with him."

"Don't you have your valuables in the bag?" He asked but grabbed her hand to drag her near his car with him just to be safe.

"No, I have my wallet in my pocket here. Just an extra jacket in the bag." She shared, "it's okay. Thank you though. At least have my pepper spray with me, it was very expensive."

"How did you see he's got a knife with him?"

"I've got four eyes on, Harry." She grinned making him chuckle. "Anyway, I'll head home now."

"YN, please. Someone just stole from you." He insisted, "lemme call a cab for you, yeah?"

"Harry it's fine." She reassured him. "I will manage."

"You sure?" He doesn't want to push her.

"Yes, I am very sure."

"Okay." He nodded.

......................................................................

The very next night, Harry went to the pub again. He needed to because he went to another therapy session with Aella today, he hated himself that much more for going through that instead of saying no.

It was crowded and YN was busy most of the time. But he got to talk to her, a little bit, but she asked him about his vacation. Which he "cancelled" the moment he planned it.

That went on for a week. And they became really good friends in no time. His growing crush on her was inevitable to stop, especially when he couldn't stop flirting with her. Especially when she sometimes flirt back.

"Like, come on Harry! You've got a wife at home!" He scolded himself, especially when he never once mentioned that he's married. He just couldn't bring himself up to do that.

But he started walking her down to the tube station, he still haven't got her number. He just can't bring himself to ask for it, he still carried the guilt of talking to another woman whilst he's still married. He wasn't going to do the same to Aella. That's just not him.

They're not in pre-school anymore to play tit for tat.

He's stuck though. He doesn't know how to approach it but he can't be with Aella or anyone for the matter of fact when he's that broken. His new budding feelings were just adding upto his confusion that much more.

Aella has been cheating on him for over a year. Maybe is it was a one time thing, he might have thought about giving her and those therapy sessions time. The therapist was going a shit job as well. He couldn't fathom how she lived under same roof as him when she was sleeping with someone else this whole while without any guilt. He no longer felt the love and warmth with her and from her that he used to, god knows how long ago. And here he was feeling guilty to even talk to YN, even if that meant as a friend.

Tonight, he still walked her to the tube station. She asked him about his mum and sister, that's all they talked about. He's yet to tell her that he's the owner of the firm she was admiring that day when she bumped into him. She's yet to tell him about her own family, though she hardly ever talks about herself. She was scared of scaring him off like she scared off her ex-boyfriend.

All he knew was she was the oldest of her siblings. That's all he knew.

Harry has got many, many, many more questions to ask to her to get to know her well.

"How were you so chill about your bag being stolen the other day?" He brought up a new topic to speak on as they were walking in complete silence. She just shrugged.

There was nothing in her bag really that day, just an old jacket that got stolen. It was better to loose the bag and that piece of clothing than have anyone go after a person with a sharp object. Plus that wasn't the worse thing happened to her. Was she upset? Yes, that was her favourite jacket. But at least no one got hurt, at least her pepper spray wasn't stolen and she didn't throw a punch at Harry.

YN walked beside him in a straight but she found him scooting closer and closer until his arm brushed against her. He hasn't had a drink today, he did asked for one but it just sat in front of him as he chatted away with her.

He has been wanting to hold her hand but her hands were stuffed in pockets of her coat. It was very cold.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked once he'd made sure she'd get in safe in the train.

"I'd say no." She said. "It's none of my business to have a say, but I think we're friends, so as a friend I'd say it's really not good for your health to drink everyday, Harry."

She wouldn't say that to anyone because, well, she was getting good tips and she needed those badly but, she's grown to like Harry quite a bit. Her infatuation on him have grown quite a bit as well. He's a great person afterall! Him talking about his mum and sister is just enough to tell how he treats them. He has been respectful towards her even when he's flirting with her sometimes.

Plus he's very good looking. That's an added bonus.

"Can I kiss you?"

Oh fuck no!

That got her heart pumping as it jumped in her ear, making her tummy do back flips. He stood towering in front of her, way too close that she could feel his aura. Him smirking made her realise she was chewing on her lip as she nodded, muttering a quiet yes.

Of course she said yes!

Harry didn't needed much more talking or convincing, as he reached up cradle her face in his palm. But she stopped him, stepping back. Her fingers lightly wrapped around his anchor tattoo.

"Is that a wedding band?" She asked seeing a plain ring on the fourth finger of his left hand, his usual chunky rings were missing tonight. "Are you married?" It broke Harry's heart to see tears well up behind her glasses, and she took another step back.

He honestly didn't know how he should answer her because it was very obvious. There was no excuse he could make other than admit to her.

"Yes, but-"

"There shouldn't be a but!" She interrupted him, "you're cheating on your partner!"

"YN, please, I, I don't know how to explain but this it's not what you're thinking, love."

"It's exactly what I'm thinking." She stated the obvious, "don't ever talk to me again please."

She left him standing there.

......................................................................

YN couldn't work on weekends anymore, and she took on afternoon shift at work because her mum gave birth to another boy. Luckily the baby wasn't born cranky like others.

It only put more toll on YN alone.

"YN? You alright?" Adi asked who was helping his sister in the kitchen.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Watch your fingers!"

"Oh!" He realised the knife was too close to his fingers as he chopped tomatoes.

"Idiot." YN chuckled smacking him on his shoulder.

After lunch most of the kids were off to sleep, she didn't knew where her dad was he's got an habit that he goes missing for days and then returns back home tk shower and eat, her mum was fast asleep with the new baby. She told Adi to look after the kids for a little bit if they needed anything so she can go take a nice walk.

It was a Sunday night so she was home all day. YN sat down on the bench at the park, there were still few people around but it was getting darker. She pulled out her phone to watch something as she doesn't get much time to do so.

Honestly she has been sulking since the night she last saw Harry. She had no idea he was married already. Maybe if she had asked...

YN had never showed any interest in dating or having a romantic life in all. She had too much on her plate to be a good enough partner to someone. But it was getting harder to keep her feelings in check with him.

Just when she swiped over open Google after putting on her earphones with music on to look at the recent Share values for her work and personal purposes, a article popped up on the new feed.

Divorce Notice: Styles & Co. Owner and CEO, Harry Styles gets cheated on by his wife.

Now she was surprised to see Harry's face plastered on the article cover with a blonde woman. It wasn't something she had ever expected to be.

Styles & Co. owner was in Top 10 richest man in the England, but no one hardly knew about him as a founder and CEO but all about his textile and fashion company. YN has been a huge nerd when it comes to business. She read many business magazines but none of then had even a single picture of Harry. There must have been a possibility which she must have missed by chance as there was a picture of him from one of the many formal events with his wife on his side.

Please give her benifit of the doubt, there are hundreds if not thousands of Harrys in this world!

But never once did she thought that the Harry who visited the pub she worked weekend shifts at would be one of the richest man in England. He was too humble, well spoken, and polite to be a millionaire. And no wonder why he felt her such heavy tips after.

She was furious on herself for potentially breaking up a relationship. She didn't wanted to click on the link, but she turned off her music and did. He was married to her for eight years! They have been together since they were eighteen. There were mentions of even Harry cheating on his wife with a random girl he was spotted with at a club last weekend, blurry pictures of him at the club were attached as receipts, and also written rumours of him seeing other people as well. And that Harry have file for a divorce and sued his (ex) wife for defamation as there were articles about him published two weeks back as well.

She realised she shouldn't have gotten that attached him when they would meet barely for three hours every night for a week and half. She needed to get her attachment issues in check. She was insanely jealous and heart broken she felt when she found out he was married. But she hated herself to not ask him about anything else.

It was a good thing she didn't proceeded with the kiss, not anyone with a sane mind to kiss a married person. But that would leading him on like he did to her by keeping such a huge secret from her. Yes, she haven't told him about her family situation, she doesn't like to tell her traumatic family story to her friends. She wasn't ready. She has her siblings to look after because they have no one to do that.

It was a good thing she didn't kiss him that night!

......................................................................

YN was on her way to work, her desk job on the Friday a week later she had read the article.

Her sulking have gotten worse at home. She was lashing out on her siblings and mother for no reason (well, she had many reasons with her mother). She had been feeling sad, angry, heart broken, guilty and every negative feeling a human can go through. She didn't wanted to celebrate her birthday day before.

Her time went by so fast that she didn't even realise it was time for lunch break, so she headed down stairs to the lobby to get some fresh air and a coffee to keep her up. She haven't been sleeping well either. Just when she was about to walk back to her floor the security guard stopped her.

"Ms. YLN." He called, "someone had these delivered under your name." The man handed her a small bouquet of all pink roses, tulips and carnations, a box of some fancy chocolate which looked very fucking expensive for some reason. She took it and walked upto the sofas kept in the lobby. She placed her coffee cup on the coffee table in front of her along with the chocolate box and plucked out the yellow note.

I'm extremely sorry for what happened that night, I had no bad intentions. Had no reason to basically do something so bad which was happening to me. Hope you like these flowers! Please call me if you think you can forgive me.

Ps. We have a spot for Financial Advisor in my company, would love to have you join our team. Let's at least be friends.

-H

It was all written in messy writing in block letters with red ink. A number scribbled over in the corner with a messy heart drawn as a punctuation at the end of him signing off. On the back of the note said something more.

Please do call me. I'll be looking forward to it. Please?

At the end of the day, YN was walking back home. Bouquet of flowers tucked in between her her chest and arms delicately. She had saved Harry's number on her phone so she pulled up her number to call him finally. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hi, Harry." She spoke, slowing down as she neared his firm.

"Hi, you called!" He celebrated on the other side, a clear sigh audible, "Are you off work now? I wanted to talk."

"I'm on my way back home."

"I, I am still stuck at work, would, would you mind coming up? I, I don't want to talk about this over a phone call. Please?" He plead. His voice wavered, maybe it was him feeling or the poor network connection. YN didn't know if she should go in at his work place. "Come up, I'll ask the receptionist to send you up, please!"

"I- uhhh, okay, okay." She sighed.

"Stay on the phone, okay?" He requested, the line went silent for a bit. "Walk right in."

So she did. The receptionist told her the way to his office. His office was everything she imagined it to look like from the inside, marble floor so clean you could see your face in it, glass cubicles, separated offices for the higher level management on the fourth floor. She took the stair to the third floor for a reason. It was all empty by now, the second floor which was the accounts department. Third floor was all things fashion she did not understand but found very fascinating. A few people still working. She felt very under dressed walking through the floor to another set stairs to the fourth floor, in her blue baggy jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. Her work place didn't had any dress code necessarily, unless the employees are dressed appropriately even if it's something casual.

"Hi, I am here to see Mr. Styles." YN approached the desk out of office at the very end of the hall.

"YN?" The man asked.

"Yeah."

"That's Mr. Styles' office, you can go right in." He pointed at the big brown door.

YN could see Harry already walking upto the door from the skinny glass window next to the door. Before she could knock, he swung the door open. His classic frog smile plaster on his face, wide and happy enough to make his dimples appear evidently on his cheeks. Without a word he stepped aside and let her walk in before he gently shut the door behind him, pulled the blinds down on the skinny window by the door and walked her to the sofa area in his office, opposite to his desk.

"What would you like?" He asked, picking up the receiver to his desk phone. "Coffee? Tea?"

"I, I am good thank you." She stuttered feeling awkward standing there not knowing what to do. The sofa looked way too good and expensive for her to put her butt on it. But she saw still muttering something in the phone quickly.

"Why don't you have a seat?" He suggested already taking a seat on the end of the sofa. She did the same, placing her new bag she thrifted the other day on the floor and the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table carefully. She sat by the edge on the cushion. Harry caught on that but said nothing.

"You wanted to talk?" She asked.

"Mhmm." He nodded, eyes glazed on moony shimmer as he looked at her with his teeth burying in his bottom lip, "about that night, YN, I want to apologise first and explain to you what really happened."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about you being married? You told me nothing about you but at the same time you told me everything!" Her voice wavered as her vision went water with tears. Brick by brick her wall was falling apart there.

"Because I was not happy with her." He stated, carefully scooted closer to her but got on the rug on the floor next to her knees making her shift back in her seat. He reached for her hand, giving her the option to go on and hold his if she wanted to, but she chose not to. "I need you to please listen to me, okay?"

"Mhmm." She sounded.

"She was cheating on me, for over a year. I wasn't happy. I don't know why I put up with her for three months after I found out, but I couldn't take it anymore after that night with you. I filed for a divorce." He looked up at her like a little lost puppy, "I feel so guilty for leading you on like that, love, I wish I knew how to fix that."

"Doesn't matter, you are still married to her." She began but he quickly spoke in between.

"Not anymore."

"You were back then!" She got frustrated, "you were going to do the same thing to her."

It hit him in the very next morning after that night which lead him to get a divorce, there was no other choice than to admit to her, "I know, and I am so guilty for doing that."

"I get it." She said but was interrupted by saying anything further hearing the knock on the door. It was his assistant, two cups of tea which he placed on the coffee table and left.

"Look YN, I have spent enough time with me to know how I feel for you. You've become my best friend in no time. Didn't tell you anything because I was afraid you'd treat me differently, was wrong on that too." He dared to hook his pointer finger around hers but she didn't seem to mind, "I have grown to like you so much."

"Harry, I..." She trailed off for a moment, "I can't, I, I am not ready for anything of this sort. I, I mean I'm not— I can't give you the time..."

"I, why not?" He was surprised, "you were going to-"

"I know, I don't want you to bring that up again." She stated, it made her feel to guilty. No matter if she knew the truth now. "I have my siblings to look after, I am always working and I can't give someone the time and energy. It's not fair. For anyone!"

It has been a thing for YN since her brother Adi, the eldest of the boys' was born. She was just ten years old and she taught herself to take care of her baby brother when her mum would up and leave to gossip with the neighbour lady for hours and hours on end, even the entire day. Then two years later came her another brother, and from then their family had grown from family-of-four to noe a family-of-nine. It was hilarious at this point.

Her boyfriend of three years broke up with her within six months of her moving back in with her parents after the youngest of the boys' was born. Merely because she was working two jobs and looking after the kids who weren't hers!

But they are her siblings.

No matter how much she wanted all of the good things for herself, a loving partner, kids of her own, a little family of her own. She had got to fullfill her dream of through the little babies her mum gave birth to but wanted no responsibilities towards. Since her breakup, she never dated again really. Though her colleagues tried to set her up but none of the dates worked out for her. Which she was totally fine with.

Harry looked at her, "look we can take it slow. To be vulnerable with you, I've started to go to therapy- now you're the only I'm sharing this with because I know you're not going to judge me for it- my therapist says I need time. To myself. Which I have plenty of. That is why I offered you the job as our financial advisor so we can still be friends and hang out. I no longer want to drown my sorrows and sadness in alcohol, it's sickening! I, I want a friend like you!"

She watched as he rushed to speak, faster than he usually talks. His nose was turned pick and so were the apples of his cheeks, eye lashes wet from tears brimming in his eyes. Feeling bad, she found herself slipping her hand in his. His skin was warmly comforting against hers. His hand much bigger than hers, Harry noticed.

"You don't know anything Harry, I'm really sorry if I've unknowingly led you on. It wasn't my intention." She mumbled.

"I want to know, I'm here to listen to you like you do to me, love. You know I would never judge you." He admitted. Honestly he wanted that so bad, not just one sided conversation where only he's the one speaking. "You didn't led me onto anything, no apology is needed here. In fact I should be the one apologising."

"You don't know Harry, I've got..." She trailed off, "I, I can't talk about this right now. I'm sorry." Her apology was punctuated with a quiet sob leaving her lips.

"That's okay," he assured her, "it's fine with me." He noticed how she held her breath until she couldn't, showing the sign what he could only make up to be anxiety. "Here." He fetched her a bottle of water from the mini fridge.

He sat there giving her the time to calm herself down because he didn't wanted to intervene and make things worse for her. Later he offered to drive her home which surprisingly she agreed to, she put up her address on his GPS in the car and sat there in silence. Anxious checking every turn he took.

Now YN wasn't embarrassed of her family, though it come like that. She just hated the judgement which came along with it. Both her parents didn't work, one was alcoholic and other simply doesn't want the responsibility. People asked her why did she took care of kids who weren't hers? Well, they're still her siblings. They didn't asked to be brought up into this world. She doesn't want her siblings to go through what she had went through growing up with a pair of parents who should have clearly gotten a divorce the next hour they got married. She stopped talking about it all together when it started to get to her. She was happy with what she had and being the guardian to her siblings.

"Hmm?" She noticed Harry was actually saying something as he took the last turn to her place.

"I said, how is your brother? How's his cricket practice going on?" He asked again.

"Oh, he's doing fine. He had a match yesterday." She shared.

"Should I stop here?" He asked slowing down two buildings down her actual one. But YN saw her brother there coming back home, probably from one of his jobs.

Adi looked at her suspiciously as the car came to an halt next to him. YN opened the door to get out but her brother blocked her.

"Oh hello there mate!" Adi said, "I am YN's brother, Adi."

"Hello." Harry chuckled watching YN roll her eyes. "I'm Harry."

"Nice to meet you Harry!" Adi exclaimed side eyeing his older sister, "how come you know my sister?"

"We're friends." He shared.

"Oh!" Adi dragged, "would you like to come up, have a cuppa?"

Harry glanced at YN awkwardly, "he's got to go, Adi now move away." She tried to shove the boy aside but he wouldn't budge, so she scolded him. Harry didn't understood a word but Adi moved away and went straight to the building. "Thank you for driving me home Harry."

"Don't mention it." He smiled at her.

"I'm sorry about that, little brothers are very annoying sometimes." She said awkwardly, stalling long enough to make it known she didn't wanted to go. But she had to go, the kids were probably on their own and doing as they please instead of doing their homework.

"Hey!" He complained, "not all little brothers are annoying!" She just chuckled knowing why he was defending the boy he just met, he's probably got an older sister as well!

"Harry, you've become a really good friend over these past few months." YN shared, "thank you so much for everything."

"If anything, I should be the one thank you for listening to me rant." A sheepish smile took over his gorgeous features, "most people find me annoying because I talk slow and shit."

"It's not annoying." She shook her head.

"I'm going to believe you here."

"Anyway, I should go." She said getting out but stopped and plucked out one pink rose from her bouquet and gave it to him.

"Thank you love." He smirked.

"These are very pretty thank-" she was interrupted by Adi coming back out running with a crying Zara in his arms making her jump out and run to the kids.

Harry got out as well in shock watching as the boy explained to his sister what must have happened. Adi was holding onto the little girl's arm securely.

"What happened?" Harry dared to asked.

"Harry, oh my god you're still here!" YN breathed out in relief, "please would you take us to the nearest hospital?"

"Of course, get in." He agreed in a heartbeat. Adi hopped into the backseat with the crying girl next to YN and Harry zoomed to the nearest hospital.

"I think she broke her arm." Adi shared.

After her it's Adi who is there for the kids but he came home late for work. She was pissed that their mum didn't even wanted to keep an eye on the kids that one of them broke an arm literally. Zara was being checked on in the ER when she asked Adi to go back home and check on other kids. She was really furious on her mother.

It was pretty late when the doctors were done treating Zara. She had a cast on which had to be kept on for next two weeks. The little girl was was still overwhelmed by everything, it was the first time she had to be rushed to an ER and hopefully the last time. She looked scared as she lied there with her cast on.

"Harry would you mind staying here whilst I take care of the discharge?" She requested.

"Sure." He nodded.

He sat there by the little girl, "hey, what's your name?"

"Zara." She pouted. "Where is YN?"

"She's gone to take care of a few things so you can home and rest." Harry explained. "I am Harry by the way."

"I want Coco!" She whined quietly. Harry assumed it might be a pet or her stuffed toy.

"Yeah? You miss her?"

"Mhmm." Zara nodded. She's so much like her older sister he noticed there, all same features. YN came back rather quickly.

She had to call up her colleague, Jamila to ask her to lend some money. She had just paid for her mum and took out a loan on her credit card which she's still paying up for. The bank transfer was not going through so Jamila offered to come down to the hospital and pay for the bills.

"I wanna go home." Zara shared with her sister.

"Just a few minutes and we'll go home okay?" YN assured her.

"What's wrong, love?" Harry enquired.

"It's nothing. And Harry, thank you so much for driving us here and waiting here, you really didn't had to but you still did." She smiled, "Thank you."

"No problem, YN." He chuckled.

"I'm just gonna wait for my friend to come here, so you don't have to wait up anymore." YN said urging him, he's done a lot already she doesn't want him to wait up more. It was already close to midnight.

"It's alright, I don't mind waiting up." He assured her. "Nah! No arguing, she's asleep!" He shushed her down, "why did you call your friend over? I would have dropped you back home."

"Oh, it's not that..." She stuttered. She mumble quietly which he couldn't make it but he understood what it was.

"Could have asked me." He sighed standing up from his seat, "come with me." He grabbed a gentle hold on her hand and dragged her out with him.

"Zara's alone the—"

"She's fine there." He interrupted her. "Call your friend up and ask them not to come."

"Harry, listen to me!" She yanked on his hand the best she could to stop him. "I know you want to help, but I can manage to look after my family just fine."

"I'm sorry, YN, but I'm not saying you can't. I'm just trying to help you out here." He explained.

"I really, really appreciate that, Harry. I really do. But you're not going to take it back, are you?"

He just stared at her for a beat, "I will, with twelve per cent interest. Now come on." With that he walked her to the reception and paid for the bills and all, he made YN call her friend and ask them to not go over before dropping her back home. "You want me to carry her upstairs?" He offered, putting his car in park.

"It's alright, I can carry her." She smiled. "Thank you so much for today, Harry."

"Don't mention it." He shook his head chuckling, "hey, YN?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at him stood on the pavement with her sister clung onto her like a baby monkey, fast asleep. She juggled the bouquet of flowers and her keys as well.

"The job post is still available, you can just walk in on Monday for the interview, yeah?" He reminded her.

"Harry, I don't know if I'm qualified enough to be a good Financial Advisor." YN spoke, her voice quiet so she doesn't wake her sister.

"I'm not qualified to be a CEO either," he shrugged.

"Okay, I'll go for the interview." She nodded, "but don't threatened your HR and Manager, please!"

He giggled, "I won't, I promise."

"Alright." She smiled, "good night, amd thank you so much."

"Stop thanking me now!" He warned her, "and good night."

Harry waited for her to wall back in her building safely before getting back in his car.

At least he's got a good friend if not anything else. But he was unaware of what was to come his way.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Y'all this took me wayyyyyy to long write. I've been writing this from late November last year. Was stuck on how I could have explored the characters mentioned in this one.

I can write more about it, tho I don't know what I can. But if y'all have any suggestions I'll consider them. <3

I really hope y'all like this one. Please leave a comment and tell me how you liked it. Or if you have any suggestions.

......................................................................

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[elliesflower]

what's love? [ellie williams]

pairing; ellie x gn!reader

cw; angst, ellie and reader in a situationship(kinda), post-golf incident (joel mentioned), slightly au (still set in jackson, ellie never went to seattle), ellie doesn't open up ab her feelings :(

an; hello! first off, rest easy to one of the greatest to ever do it, miss tina herself. while listening to her today i felt like this song was very ellie-coded tbh nd i haven't been great lately nd just wanted to throw something angsty together for my baby girl :( (i know the song's vibe doesn't necessarily match the story's vibe but i'm meaning more the lyrics). also this is more from ellie's pov so reader is gn and has absolutely no physical descriptors!!

no smut, but like all my content please 18+ only, mdni!!!

Three little words. 

One big problem. 

What is it?

“Is this the end?” 

No, not those ones. It was something else, painful, and always dancing at the tip of her tongue, making tiny beads of sweat prick at her palms and a ball of trepidation sink to the pit of her stomach. They were cursed words, seldom given thought, and never spoken aloud. The underlying topic of ninety percent of all songs ever written, and movies produced—it was cruel, really, how there was no escaping it. 

“This can’t be the end…” 

Vision blurred by the thoughts of a thousand demons, Ellie muttered back into the void. 

“It’s not,” and her voice was so quiet, it very well could have been the wind pestering the trees outside her window. 

“It’s not…?”

Oh. Right. 

Movie. 

Your legs shifted under the shared blanket, and Ellie’s eyes refocused onto your folded hands in your lap. 

“Is there a second movie, or something?” Your voice was trembling only slightly, the emotional turmoil of the last twenty minutes of the movie lacing your words. 

Ellie shook her head again, as if it would shake her brain right out. She couldn’t help but to feel bad, having practically abandoned the movie as she stewed in her own emotions. There were so many of them, fighting to get out, clawing her insides every time she looked at your face for too long.

“Sorry,” she could blame her watery eyes on the movie. Push aside her feelings. Again. “No, there’s no second one. I wish there was, though.”

Ellie wasn’t much like an open book. Or, I guess she was a very specific kind of book. That one you fell in love with based on the dust jacket description, with her complex words and inexplicit detail, but every time you’d pull it down to read, something stopped you. Life gets in the way. You’d tried and tried, oh god have you tried, to open her up; to wear her down, pressing on her spine and dog-earing her pages, keeping her infrequent tipsy confessions and three-am sleep deprived rants in the back of your mind like a filing cabinet. Pushing, but never pressuring. Ellie didn’t like pressure. 

“S’okay,” your voice was always soft with her. Couldn’t be loud, couldn’t scare her away, because Ellie Williams could fucking run. Away from her problems, as fast as her legs could carry her and as far as her heart would let her. Despite her alienation, the empty bed permanently rooted in the hardwood of Joel’s house kept her coming back. “Did y’wanna watch anything else? I’m kinda tired.” 

Even the softness of your voice couldn’t conceal your hurt, that she was shutting down. Closing you off. Keeping you at a distance. Her heart twinged, but she couldn’t look at you. She looked down at her outstretched legs, the off-white blanket cascading over them, the piece of dust she could see out of the corner of her eye. Anything. Except you. She felt cold, but your body was warm, radiating and making her shift toward you subconsciously. She hated it. 

Why is hate so much easier to express?

“You have patrol tomorrow?” It was easier to just get technical, sometimes. You nodded, before stretching your arms over your head, a yawn escaping you. “Gotta be up at four. Wesley and Nia have the flu or something, so we have to head out early to swing by their posts, too.” Ellie nodded, absentmindedly picking at her cuticles. Ignoring the sweet smell of vanilla that emanated from your body as your arms went over your head. 

She was so proud of herself when she found you that bar soap out on patrol, neatly tucked away in a dusty white vanity. You were so happy, so grateful, always so grateful that she was thinking of you. That she perceived you in such a way.

And she almost fucking said it, that night. Almost ruined everything. Those three little words. She was high, probably on some weed, but also on how your eyes sparkled when you were happy, the way your eyes crinkled slightly at the corners and you shifted your body weight side-to-side excitedly. Your emotions were quite obvious, most of the time. It made Ellie want to cry. 

“That sucks,” she mumbled, and she couldn’t help it now. You were like a magnet, she was sliding down against the pillows, watching the credits roll on the small screen past the end of her bed. She could hear you breathing, deep and careful. On edge. Why were you so on edge?

“It does,” you agreed. Ellie didn’t look away from the screen. Sinking, slowly, slowly, slower...her head was resting near your rib cage, now. She could feel you breathing. And she felt you slide down to match her position, turning your body to face her, silently and without explanation. It was better that way. 

“You’ll sleep here tonight?” And it felt strangled, coming out of her throat. She didn’t need to say anything, though. Of course you were sleeping in her bed. Tonight, and the night before that, and before that…but she felt you nod against her side, and her arm slid up to allow you access to her chest. No explanation. Ellie was really bad at explaining. 

“You’re cold,” your voice was muffled against the fabric of her gray hoodie. Ellie almost smiled. Almost. 

“You’re warm,” she retorted, and she feels your heart pulse faster against the skin of your back. The movie’s end credits became the soundtrack to the night. Soft and pensive. Like you. 

Ellie watched as your breathing eventually slowed, your shoulders rising and falling rhythmically as you drifted away into sleep. She was always jealous of that, though of course, like everything else, she’d never admit it—how your tiredness always let you drift into a blissful dreamland, your right hand twitching where it usually sat curled loosely atop her chest as you slept. You moved a lot, she noticed, and talked sometimes, too. Sleep didn’t come easy to people like Ellie. 

And so, she was absolutely, positively, awake and conscious when you let out a breathy sigh in your sleep, legs twitching slightly against her bottom half before settling back into her chest. A whisper escaped your lips, so sweet it may have been laced with vanilla, too. 

“I love you…” 

But this time, Ellie couldn’t stop her tears.

[lunastrophe]

Hi! I've read a lot of your drow lore posts, and I absolutely love all the information you've provided (and the way you organize them makes my brain happy.) I know you've talked about being transgender in Drow society, but do you have any ideas on how being nonbinary would work? Acceptance, role in society, ect.? I was just curious because I'm nonbinary but I'm also getting really into Drow culture haha

Hello - thank you for visiting my drow corner and for an interesting question! 😊

🕷️ In a typical Lolth-worshipping society, I am afraid that coming out as nonbinary - or expressing any kind of gender nonconformity, really - would be dangerous for a drow character.

Structures of Underdark Lolth-sworn drow societies are pretty rigid and focused around female-male dichotomy - which is firmly rooted in teachings of the church of Lolth. Drow whose gender identity does not fit this dichotomy are typically seen as a danger to the fundamental values of Lolth-sworn society.

A nonbinary drow would probably have two basic options: to live in the closet, with their assigned gender determining how they are perceived and referred to - or to leave. Seeking open acceptance would not end well, I suppose, especially for a drow who is closely connected to some noble house or to Lolth's clergy.

For a non-noble drow, things would probably be easier. Without a row of house priestesses, siblings and matron mother watching their every move, they would probably be able to act more freely. They might find, for example, a gender neutral profession - maybe one that requires them to travel a lot and spend time among other, more accepting people.

Still, trying to be openly nonbinary Lolth-sworn drow among other Lolth-sworn drow would be very dangerous.

🕷️ In drow societies where the main deity is Vhaeraun, I suppose that a nonbinary drow would have next to zero problems with being accepted.

Some followers of Vhaeraun heavily promote patriarchy and dominance of drow males, though, especially in power structures.

So, it is probably easy to imagine that, for example, a nonbinary drow with a very feminine look and style of dress might confuse some Vhaeraunans - at least initially. Some of them (mainly males) might be quick to label such an individual 'female' and stubbornly insist to treat them like one, or approach them with a measure of distrust.

In such case, becoming a cleric of Vhaeraun might also be a problem. Church of Vhaeraun sometimes advertises itself as "egalitarian", but... yeah, in practice, distribution of power is typically heavily tilted there in favour of male drow.

Still, I cannot really imagine Vhaeraunans (in general) persecuting a nonbinary drow for the sole fact of being nonbinary. Vhaeraunan societies are fairly accepting, as long as you are not working against them and you do not worship Lolth.

🕷️A drow society where Ghaunadaur is worshipped - I suppose that a nonbinary drow who is chaotic, evil and maybe also more or less insane, would feel good there. Good characters, not so much.

Ghaunadaur is not a nice deity (chaos, sacrifices, madness, crawling creatures, alien intelligence - Lovecraftian vibes, sort of), but has an affinity for everything that is primordial, not defined and not clearly shaped.

I think that nonbinary, chaotic evil drow, especially outcasts, might be attracted to his cult - they might perceive Ghaunadaur as a fitting alternative to Lolth or other established Underdark deities popular among drow. To Ghaunadaur, male-female dichotomy is totally irrelevant.

🕷️Eilistraeans would have no problem with nonbinary drow - they would be treated just like any other person. Followers of Eilistraee might be also ready to offer help to a drow who became an outcast because of coming out as nonbinary.

A good (in terms of alignment) nonbinary drow might be attracted to the cult of Eilistraee, especially since for Eilistraeans, male-female dichotomy is not overly important - they generally promote equality and harmony, and they are always glad to welcome new followers, no matter their gender identity.

Whew, I hope I managed to include all relevant aspects 🙂Hope you will find this post useful!

[peristille]

Hello! I absolutely love your milgram music, they all sound incredible :0 The melodies/ vibe hit each character's genre so perfectly (and you even have alien stage and ddlc!!) I wanted to say I really enjoyed them, thank you for sharing 👀✨️

Please disreagrd if you're not, but if you're still taking suggestions, would it be possible to ask for something from either/both Mahiru and Kazui songs?

Anothe Kazui it is..! He's the easiest prisoner to make a theme song out of, also because his song just rocks. But here you go..! Music similar to that of what you asked for.

[igglemouse]

What's Going On In The Iggleverse?!

Hi! Hello there! So I know one of the concerns for my legacy is it can be a lot! I always want to emphasize for anyone that goes "Oooh this looks cool but it's too late in!" it is not! NEVAR! Just jump in and if you are ever confused I'll be happy to answer any questions!

So what is this post?! I guess this is just a weekly wrap up post to help everyone keep up with things and also just a chance to summarize things!

So let us start!

We start with Gracelyn as she was mostly featured last week and while it is only her 2nd episode there is a lot going on in her story! Right now, she seems to have a love interest that is tied to her destiny in some form or fashion? Is it love or is it something else?! Well, they certainly are digging on each other what ever it is!

It helps that Niklas, the man who seems to be her fated lover, seems to do everything right! He's happy to help her do chores even when he doesn't live with her...yet!

But Gracelyn has other worries. For instance, her dear friend, Valerie Van Vilet, AKA Triple V, AKA V, AKA Vee, AKA VVV...invites her out to witness some magical ritual or some other crazy event. Gracelyn, a spellcaster not allowed to practice magic, is eager to go see what's going on...

And once there she not only witnesses her friend chanting and practicing some form of magic and she also meets a mysterious robed figure named Alana Thayer. Alana claims to be from the Matlock Society, a ermmm...well, club, that is dedicated to practicing alternate forms of magic. It's also a club named after Gracelyn's family, she is Gracelyn Matlock, after all.

She really isn't sure what to make of the whole thing just that it is someway connected to her. It is not the last time we will hear from the Matlock Society that is for sure! She's also dealing with being watched by The Realm itself AAAND by a vampire as well. She has a lot going on and Episode 3, titled Spellbound, is not too far away!

As for Frida, who is currently expecting, she's not dealing with vampires or sorcery or anything of the sort but that doesn't mean things are all peachy!

Her friend, Irene, is hoping to start her own restaurant but the problem is she's quite broke. She's been searching for an investor, someone to foot the bill while she runs the place and hopes that Frida will help but she's been having issues with finding one that the last guy she met seemed more interested in investing INTO her and not into her business...

But as for Frida?! She's happily expecting and you know what...we might meet a future heir very very soon! I'm excited, now only if she could get Pascal excited about it too...

In other Iggleverse news here is a banner you will be seeing soon as Zer will be making her out of this world debut! Every heir has a theme and vibe and hers is basically goofiness. The banner kind of gives me a Nickelodeon vibe and maybe she's like a once little green alien that was obsessed with taking over the world...

BUT that's not all...

There will indeed be a 4th heir, an idea I've thought of for a while and one that I feel like is necessary. One, because I want to do it and two...because I want to do it! One thing is I really enjoy playing normal sims too and while Gracelyn's story and vibe will be a bit darker and more twisted...and Zer's will be silly and stuff..I'd like another normal sim like Frida to balance things out. It will also assure that when there is a heir vote I can still do the old rules of I pick one heir and the rest you all vote for! Also yes, the heir is a she. I'm biased, I like playing women!

This heir is in Early Development though and I'm sure once I start playing them I'll have a banner and posts for it all!

Any ways! This kind of weekly wrap up was fun to do so expect more of it!

[nanakah]

hello hello, I took the alien stage pill. howdy fellow sufferers

Honestly, my first reaction to basically everything was "awww, they come in sets and are all without exception horribly doomed no matter their specs (loops cool music and vids)"

I'd seen some of VIVINOS' team works without realizing it was the same artist (my favorites being Beloved and Otomeroid) so it was rather shocking to learn of a "series" with a fandom as active/relatively large as Alien Stage without ever actually stumbling upon it before...

Anyways. I like the concept, and Hyuna+Luka in particular, a whole lot. In spite of all the jokes about only yuri and yaoi losing, my spider sense says they'll get their turn of crashing horribly soon and I wanna stay here to witness it burn beautifully, of course.

TL;DR OMG HYULUKA IS SO DELICIOUS

general yapping about all alien stage duos under the cut and some Hyuna/Luka considerations and theories

disclaimer: long, chaotic post ahead - i wrote most of it during revenge bedtime procrastination so I'm kinda just rambling/discussing my general impressions and vibes here instead of formatting it nicely or properly illustrating my points. good luck if you choose to stick around and make yourself comfy

alien stage impressions under read more - also SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

funny thing - I got into alien stage completely by chance after checking out some related vids to my Love and Deepspace twitter spree and avoiding my responsibilities. Ivan's Black Sorrow made a very strong impression and I loved his eyes, so I kept going deeper down the rabbit role and felt fascinated by the web of dynamics between the characters each time I took in a little more of the plot.

(His eyes are so cool and expressive.....I was already loving everything prior and was excited to continue, but Ivan was definitely the one to sell me on the concept more strongly and eat up the rest.)

It was interesting seeing "love" portrayed under such dire conditions and I kept wondering how come the aliens are so stupid they chose a 1vs1 PVP combat format with their beloved pets instead of the optimal formation of idol units and at least duos versus each other to utilize their feelings of love. Why would they do that?

That first innocent musing made me realize how clever the team behind ALNST is. The whole thing seems to be operating as a metaphor/commentary about how predatory the real idol industry is (the concept of anakt garden really sounds like the average idol trainee camp experience and the bonds they form with their group mates) and how heartless guardian (parental) figures can be in a society that is heavily utilitarian and barely gives agency to either their own children or sentient beings like animals that we keep as pets.

So in that world, the sacrifices of being an idol are literal and humans themselves are "pets" - with all the implications that come with "being dependent on a species that does not properly comprehend them". At times, the way they refer to the fandom of each character even seems to be tongue in cheek as to how "we" too are watching the story for entertainment and making fanbases for each character and reacting like some of the in-universe alien fans.

Therefore, it's no brainer that the answer to my initial question was: aliens/Segyein don't understand how to utilize human bonds and emotions to their maximum efficiency in the first place. They know interaction between humans seems to be important and produces more beautiful songs. However, they probably experience those feelings differently and most of them are likely unable to truly empathize with human pain, ethics or feelings. (And believe me, even some people have a hard time believing other species benifit from socialization, so aliens being that way is understandable). Perhaps the awful acts of the Segyein mutilating their pet human is no different from pulling a butterfly's wings to a human or injecting colored fluid into a flower. The glimpses of their buildings and tv show that they have the same sort of "do they have rights?" feelings and similar moral conflicts to what we have in the real world about species we don't understand fully.

I think it's really challenging to analyze a work attempting to guess future developments when you don't know the creator too well. In spite of looping OTOMEROID I wouldn't say I know VIVINOS and her team deeply as an admirer. But from the overall tone of the videos in her channel, I could pick up on a fascination with "extremes" of emotion and exploring the hypocrisy of society. Human/animal experimentation and materialism/religion/consumerism are topics that come up often. Love is also hardly ever portrayed as a simple or benevolent feeling alone - there's unrequited love, obsession, insanity, many facets of that feeling on the channel. Some works are more straightforward and focus on the visual presentation, others seem to have a deeper story behind it.

The technical quality of the Alien Stage MVs is extremely impressive, I had a blast looking at the patreon storyboards and feeling like "wow, a person actually made this". It seriously got me inspired to feel like drawing more to get out of my own artblock and to pick up on old OCs to show them some love. In the era of AI, this is a joy to get to feel. It all definitely feels like a well-put together labor of love. I'm super weak to things brimming with passion like this, it's contagious!!!!

Now that I've tried my best to make an eloquent opening and act like I'm not at all just a fangirl foaming at the mouth with this intense concept (I keep crying that I wanna see either Aka or Ohkawa try their hand at a death game scenario) and at the sight of a tragic toxic duo with a backstory of a deeply rooted mutual obsession/love and fall out (wiping drool out of the corner of my mouth as we speak), let's talk a little more about the story. In order to make sense out of my ramblings and projections, let me explain my thoughts on the other duos besides my bias first.

Mizi and Sua set the tone to their universe as well as serve as an explanation as to why "idols" work well to represent their conflict and struggle - I'm fresh out of Oshi no Ko here, so this feels equal parts like a comfort zone and everything but comfortable and hellish to go over again. But, to put it briefly, the adoration of someone as an entertainer that you want to support also overlaps with the word reserved for adoring "an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship" - idol.

Humans, stripped of their power and autonomy after arrogantly believing they were superior to everyone else and were the only beings in the vast universe, have been subjugated by other species. Because of the bleak, unforgiving circumstances they were faced with afterwards, the surviving ones were turned into luxury pets and stripped of their freedom. Free will made them children of God before, so people have forgotten all about the "God" who couldn't answer their prayers/save them. But, as Mizi says, the belief in God is innate to human nature. You are more likely live in this world successfuly if you have someone to look up to or a reason to survive.

When God seems so far away and so cruel...what they can do is look to each other as their "Gods". Because a belief in God is ultimately, a cry for salvation and acceptance...."The Bible makes it clear that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). He isn't just loving, but he is the very definition of love."Therefore, all characters are, in some way, looking for salvation and being constantly tested and brutally being forced to show off their humanity through the lens of how love affects them - and not at the privacy of their inner thoughts or anything. All of that in order to portray different aspects of "love", adoration and what it means to be human. To have a belief on the unseen - "what is essential is invisible to the eye".

IT'S ALIEN AMERICAN IDOL MEETS DANGANRONPA. WHOO.

(gOD I wish we could have gotten Luka vs Sua or vs Ivan in some way. That feels like it would be extremely close and entertaining to see. Am I losing my humanity? Why is my keyboard slimy? Am I becoming a Segyein ....?)

Of course, because I fell for all those deliciously doomed themes like the good CLAMP/Akasaka foolish nerd I am, I bought patreon access day one. Although some setting details were unexpected, I was pretty satisfied with my overall initial grasp on most of the characters. If you found me through the tags and didn't already follow me, my disclaimer here so you get to know me is that I easily gravitate to polarizing characters or doomed ships like a curse. There are also certain Themes that follow me like a plague and I could see some of my favorite characters' shadows on the doomed kids I liked right away. Like an itch to spot something more to what is being shown.

Therefore right away, Luka and Hyuna caught my eye big time. (literally, when I watched sweet dream I kept pausing and going - whOA WHO IS THE COOL GIRL WITH THE CIG. Wait wait wait show me more of the boy that looks dead inside overstimulated by the flashing lights!)

I don't really have any pretension to be quoted on anything here or say things verbatim (Patreon says it's fine to produce derivative content based on what's there, but as expected, it's enforced not to directly share it so I can't really go argument-evidence here by presenting it) and have only seen pictures of the artbook secondhand by a friend, so I'll have my fun here making commentary loosely based on extra content and sporadically showing off pretty MV captures.

Anyway.

We're introduced to this universe through the jarring cruelty of ROUND 1, contrasting a harmonic, beautiful, lullaby-like melody with a harsh outcome. Like Mizi, unless we got spoiled beforehand, we don't really know anything about what's about to horrifically transpire. And though she got education, it feels like the teachings about what death or the Alien Stage would be like were horribly sugar coated or distorted to her, as incentive to give their best performances - like sacrificing themselves was a good thing. The extra materials back this up with Mizi's first interview about "My Clematis" - it's like they're told they're simply going back to their "origins" entity (The Grand Ankt) and it's a pretty and peaceful thing. We're shown how bad humans have it in their society and simultaneously get a montage of a cute, healthy, heartwarming relationship between the two girls and a deep "pure" love, as well as feel the weight of Sua's sacrifice and how badly it hurts Mizi. You're told that Sua is her God, her Universe in a Godless world - only to have her ripped away and "God" basically slaughtered for cheap entertainment. Some of the extra materials put it as a certain "mutual love" between Sua and Mizi.

It's interesting how we're shown a stage and don't know what to expect at first - since the girls seem "calm" and happy to express their love, but there's an increasing sense of dread until the finality of Sua's death hits and the pretty, shining girl we see in the flashbacks becomes an empty husk. The MVs seem all to be roughly designed around creating a surprise at the end or recontextualizing something we have seen previously.

I won't discuss Till and Ivan at length at this time, because that would get too long and demands it's own post (I sure as hell rewatched Unknown, Black Sorrow and Cure many times though), but the key part for me here is - they similarly express "love", but through another facet - obsession of a one-sided love and the desire to reach salvation or a reason to endure the world because of that, too. To the point of choosing the chance of love over salvation, expressed by Till letting go of Ivan's hand when they had a chance to escape (not wanting to leave Mizi behind most likely) and Ivan's kiss and decision to strangle Till to give his own life in exchange for his/finally getting to express his "shallow emotions" he perceives as something that won't deeply scar Till (but it does, and it mattered, far more than he could ever have known). It's interesting that although Mizi calls Sua a God, they develop something closer to a balanced, mutual relationship, as much as their lack of understanding of "human relationship" allows - they connect deeply. Ivan, according to the comics, sees himself in Sua, but it's deeply frustrating how he couldn't build the same sort of connection with Till and felt like he could only maintain a bond through violence.

Mizi seems to be the only human who was raised in a "stable home" (her alien seems to actually love her closest to a mother), but that's not enough to protect her from pain - after all, the alien's reasoning was that if Mizi likes singing, she should join. Yolo! Your human baby's life is so short! Sounds like outdoor cat owners to me. Ugh. All other pet humans are going through some flavor of parental abuse, and it all reflects in how they express their emotions and what sort of decisions they tend to take.

Till, in contrast to all that, more closely resembles the definition of looking at Mizi like an oshi/idol as a comfort to run from the pains of his life - he always looks hurt or abused, but Mizi is like medicine that even watching from far away makes him feel "saved" due to nurturing that "first love" that is heavily idealized. It's interesting how his character that is first introduced as somewhat violent or wild because of the smashing guitar and "addict"/drug imagery turns out to be one of the most sensitive.

The cloaked figure of Mizi in Blink Gone seems to resemble a saint or Mary (mother) holding a child in her lap as he takes his last breaths. She rushed into the crowd in a desperate attempt to save or at least comfort him in his predicament. Till's final position even resembles that of being crucified.

All that, however, makes Till unable to see Ivan properly - who is constantly around him and yearning for his attention, protecting and loving him in desperate ways that he doesn't realize until the very last minute. He is also seemingly detaching himself from the "real" world as a very "pure" child (shown in the way he loves with full devotion and his artistic inclinations), which of course, makes Ivan painful to face - who is a grounding entity and a reminder of the real world. The one who touches his wounds, who is "there" and not unreachable like a flower at the top of a mountain. That love between Ivan and Till got expressed in a way that was painful to both, but a very human act of a clashing selfish and selfless-ness.

None of them are built for this. They're trying to survive.

So far, what I've got is...Mizi and Sua set a standard of what is closest to a mutual love that was growing together in a relatively equal and healthy way. Ivan and Till were reworked to avoid overlap with them and are chosen to portray the sense of an immature, obsessive love and clashing emotions. It's interesting to me how much the creators stress the "one-sided" and controlling nature of Ivan for behind the scenes, and I feel like this does not mean that Till couldn't possibly return his feelings - after all, the Actor AU does show great chemistry between them. It's more like, within their living conditions and because of the emotional immaturity of both of them, they literally could not see eye to eye - Till looking at an idol out of reach (Mizi), and Ivan choosing to seek out his attention through violent means that confused Till, thus he was unable to respond to the intensity of what he felt and grow into it.

NOW. TO THE MAIN COURSE THAT IS ROTTING MY BRAIN: HYULUKA.

If we've got all those bases covered so far...where does that leave Hyuna and Luka?

(This is the most Mello/Near-like I've ever seen another ship pull off. My inner 13 yo is screaming. They're both incredibly gorgeous. How is a hetero couple simultaneously so BL and yuri-like in DRAMA AND IMAGERY? CLAMP would be proud...)

You see, there's no official answer about the true nature of their bond yet.

But I have a lot of speculations. It clearly looks like a rotten, strangled-by-the-red-string-of-fate sort bond that is just up my alley. THE MOST FUN IS GETTING TO BABBLE BEFORE GETTING AN ASSERTIVE ANSWER. I'm all for making a fool of myself, so let's get down to it.

To put it simply - I believe Hyuna and Luka's role is expressing the extremes of the setting itself and what "to love" means within it, with a turn for the worse and the tragedy of "not understanding" even if there is love.

How do you conquer an oppressive world in which all odds are against you? Would you overtake it through rebellion or would you strike at it from within?

In a world in which God's teachings have become lost to time and difficult to believe, does love strengthen or weaken you? If it causes pain and destruction, can it still be called love?

I think Hyuna and Luka are standing at opposite sides of those beliefs, and cannot understand each other's mindset.

Seems simple enough to write Luka as a mere villain final boss since he seems to be enjoying himself at the evil death game and Hyuna as the nice rebel who wants to save everyone, right? But it's confirmed Hyuna wasn't really trying to rescue more people like she had an opportune moment to do for Mizi.

The artbook also says something incredibly interesting about what the "Luka Syndrome" mentioned in one of the MVs really means - Luka's prestige as a performer is raising the prestige of pet humans. He also believes "Hyuna would be safe with him" - Why is that?

I think they might actually have similar goals and a similar stubborness in which they believe themselves to be the correct one and the other to be pitiful and foolish. Hyuna is trying to overthrow a system that is well-established and has far more power or influence than them, therefore she needs to resort to drastic measures and flashy means to assert dominance over the alien society.

Luka on the other hand, feels like he is using the system against it and exercising his own humanity while at it. Rather than tackling the incredibly daunting task of being a rebel with guns blazing, Luka became a master of the stage in a way that makes humans gain influence and thus become more valuable.Even if I try to think of it as "he's just trying to survive", that doesn't feel enough - because whenever he is not on stage, Luka looks dead inside already.

Especially in the arts he looks like a younger child or teenager, except for the ones after he seems more consistently approached by Hyuna. It's hard for me to think what moves him is a survival instinct. He is also portrayed like the typical "golden kid" syndrome victim - someone so systematically beaten to satisfy their narcissist guardian figure and submitted to so much pain that they eventually absorb part of that mindset as a way to have agency and autonomy over themselves. It gives the illusion of being successful and thus that the abuse was "effective", but it's like a curse that is difficult to break from.

I think both of them are older for a thematic reason. It feels like it could represent what it feels like, as adults, to no longer be able to hold onto naive or idealistic things about the world or society due to ignorance and having to choose a path to express your ideas and reach your goals through your "work".

Hyuna is guns blazing and "adult pleasures" - singing to an underground stage, trying to scrub off the wounds of her past with alcohol, and it's interesting that her guardian alien is portrayed like an "absent" parent figure - they have an interest in humans, but doesn't care about watching Hyuna when she first was eligible for Alien Stage. I wonder if they even are the one looking for her at all - seems to me it's more of an alien police thing because of her "crimes". Under that seemingly "thick" skin though, it seems clear that Hyuna is deeply affected by Luka still, and the loss of her brother. She deals with her wounds by not really dealing with them at all and guess what - it's a weak point. Her song is uplifting and refreshing, but she clearly demonstrates that closing your eyes to trauma and purely moving forward doesn't make them go away. In that sense, Mizi is a way she is trying to "mentor" someone navigate through loss.

I love outcasts and mildly autistic-coded characters, so I gravitated to Sua, Ivan and Luka right away.

(Extroverted cutie and the doomest doomer of the bunch. As a side note, their character design alone and contrast is genius and gorgeous. I'd expect 90% of the time for Luka to be the designated BL character and hardly do I ever see his archetype paired with the sort of sharp, striking beauty that Hyuna has so I definitely got giddy with them right away. She reminds me a lot of Michiko Malando and Luka reminds me of Near, two characters I love a whole lot and funnily enough have the same mbti types the artbook describes them as - ESTP and INTJ. Ankt garden Luka looks somewhat closer to the AU versions of Luka, so gotta love both his origins and his twisted post-alnst/hyuun woo self)

I believe Hyuna bundles Luka with that trauma of grief and loss, and it's still unclear what their roles are in it and after the fact. While singing all in verses "We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me/'Cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams", Luka's face flashes through Hyuna's mind before even her brothers, like it's something that's always on the back of it and barely suppressed.

See...since VIVINOS loves the "more than meets the eye"/twist concept, something I'm expecting is for Hyuna's feelings not to be as black and white as blaming Luka and actually. It obviously was dysfunctional and isn't that....delicious???

I feel like a one-sided love or obsession wouldn't make sense to repeat as themes, and because of the heavy trauma associated in the backstory, it's not like a "healthy mutual love". To bridge the themes of MiziSua and IvanTill, I think Hyuna and Luka are being told in a way to express love as something that can also destroy instead of save, and their clashing ideologies come from a place of wanting to think "-I'M- right and want to be your god", instead of ever having been able to understand each other properly.

They have a similarly "corrupt" love that has a lot of guilt and regret built into it. Even with something awful as what happened to her brother, it's curious that Hyuna's mind first thinks of Luka in an "enamored" light - the scene looks pretty tender - but that's also attached to the weight of Hyun Woo's death.

I think It's likely that the twist is Hyuna having been the one who hurt her brother, even, considering the dynamic in these comics:

Luka and Hyun Woo compete for Hyuna's attention, and it's to be expected that none of them understand the boundaries and definitions of love too well. Hyuna and Hyun Woo seem to be naive and relatively raised in a decent way, submitted to superiority tests like the rest, but not directly abused. They seem to express their love for each other in a cheerful, healthy way, Hyuna probably because of her closeness to her brother (which is unusual for other pet humans to be able to do) is extremely physical in how she shows affection. She doesn't really reprimand Luka, and that creates an unhealthy dynamic in which Luka plays the victim - in spite of starting things - to enjoy Hyuna's attention. There is a cute comic that looks silly, but encapsulates it all:

Luka is a little shit that wants to be pampered. He knows he is physically weaker - if you come across a rabbit being hurt by a wolf, you wouldn't suspect the rabbit provoked it. So Hyuna constantly seems to take Luka's side regardless of what happened, wanting to have that protector role.

Luka on the other hand, has no reference of what it's like to be "loved". He is systematically abused and treated like an object - therefore, he perceives relationships in terms of "ownership". And I don't think Hyuna truly understands just what she is enabling when she encourages Luka to act the way he does or thinks his neediness is "cute".

Honestly, I think there's strong sexual abuse imagery in Luka's art and the presentation of his stage image as someone taking charge of their objectification. His clothing for stage always shows off his body one way or another and both Hyuna and him have this sensual imagery and approach to others, as if "reclaiming one's own body". The contrast of Luka's blank expression and the red collar indicating a mental breakdown in that artwork above featuring Heperu's shadow approaching him is truly chilling.

That boy has no reference of what a familial bond or love is like. And both his introspective nature and abuse seem to make it even worse for him to connect with his peers- in the artbook his only relationships listed are Hyuna and Mizi, in very negative ways. He is also said to have retreated deeper into his own world, because "no one can understand him". Again, checks out with the imagery of "gifted son" that is treated like a narcissistic parent's doll and that becomes desensitized to many things over time.

His alien guardian Heperu even looks vaguely phallic and Luka has body language of "trying to disappear" or soothing himself when not up the stage - hugging knees, looking smaller, sucking on sleeves, stimming with toys (rubik's cube). The scars on his chest seem related to the abuse of submitting him to pain to overcome fear and I theorize the scars on the side may have been for plastic surgery like abdominoplasty or even possibly removing ribs. Normally that would be done from the back, but hey - alien science, and he already had "tainted" scarred skin on the front, so it would make sense to try preserving his back. His waist is drawn really really thin. It's also mentioned that he had a strict diet even though he is a big eater - that is, Heperu is deeply violating his agency in accordance with Lookism.

Luka has all the makings of a really tragic character and reminds me of Kamiki Hikaru's construction in Oshi no Ko. A victim turned abuser in some ways, as a way to seek autonomy, self expression and living for their ideals and love, no matter how twisted it has become.

There's a comic that has a "flashback" of anakt garden and Hyuna being asked by Luka if she likes to sing. The POV of Hyuna's face looks as soft as Luka's does from hers. She tells him that they don't have freedom for anything else, but when she is up at the stage, it's like her life is "her own", so she likes it. The image of Luka singing as an adult suggests that even now, those are the words he pictures and that is the image of Hyuna that is alive in his mind.

In a way, both of them are deeply attached to the past, and while Hyuna wants to shut it down completely and regrets it having happened, Luka's feelings are twisted.

We don't know much about the kiss. Considering the "sucking on forehead" comics, I get the feeling Hyuna was startled by the sudden escalation from Luka acting as a passive, cute pet and jumping her with so much intensity, but may not necessarily have pushed him away. The following fight could either have happened because Hyuna became withdrawn as a result of suddenly becoming aware of the effect she was having on Luka and what their feelings for each other were (since previously, she might not have been able to tell the difference between being all over her brother and all over Luka) /or/ the scenario played out like the forehead sucking. She didn't dislike it, but Luka became insistent or they got caught in a way that Hyuun Woo had no context for, thus assuming Luka was forcing her.

And there is a third option too that now I think about it, seems the /most/ likely: the growing proximity to Hyuna made Luka's feelings of "wanting ownership and exclusivity" even deeper because of love and lust, as simply being assured he is "loved" doesn't seem to be enough for Luka. It could be that Hyuna in fact disliked his attempt of kissing her and became more distant to him. Thus, he orchestrated for Hyuna to take his side once again for validation in a reckless way - but the results were "better than he thought" when it resulted in Hyuun Woo's death. Because, that is a price so heavy that it feels like "wow, you actually chose me".

This scene is super interesting, I love Luka's expression. It's joyful in a "perverse" way. He was successful in trapping his beloved Hyuna. And it seems that the emotion is so intense, like he is finally free from the mask of pitiful wounded animal with no agency over himself that the sheer ecstasy might have caused a seizure or heart attack, hence his eyes looking glassy afterwards and his fingers finally turning the blue/purple hue we see on his older design.

Skimming through the patreon posts, I was pleasantly surprised to realize my gut feeling about Ivan and Luka having a similar core wasn't wrong. Sua in comparison is the scenario of someone who doesn't go off to the deep end as the two of them. It's often stressed that the team was worried about establishing Luka and Ivan as distinguishable - their personalities are similar, but their masks are different. Ivan presents himself as the "big bro", while actually being a boy struggling with properly expressing emotions that went as far as practicing smiles and expresions at the lake. Whereas Luka is like a porcelain doll and passive - austere, even...but what about his real self?

We're cleverly prevented from seeing an introductory MV for Luka, as round 4 doesn't happen. And for the subsequent videos, Luka shows himself partially by not disclosing his POV, but showing important sides of himself - the urge to control and the attempts to "become whatever is desired of him". A blank slate.

In a sense, that's implying to me Ivan and Luka's stage presence is an expression of their "inner selves", where their feelings and thoughts become bare. Ivan does so by casting aside his big bro warmth and stepping in as the image of a serious-faced, strongly devoted man that is coming apart at the seams with the weight of his immaturity, sadness, love and obsession.

Luka's stage presence is a distant cry from his image of passiveness and class behind the scenes. On stage, he is a seasoned performer and a calculating prince that enjoys pulling the strings to reach the ideal performance as seen in his inner world. He cunningly displays a different expression between the audience and his partners to achieve the ideal results. Luka acts like both a director and an actor while performing, in order to construct his vision - He's bold, confident and invades people's personal spaces.

(What a condescending little shit. I love him. His expression seems to be saying something like..."Done already? Hmph. I expected more of you. You need to do something for me to do my part and shine, too."

A point I theorize about Ruler of My Heart - Hyuna says in the artbook, I think, that Mizi reminds her of herself. Luka would be able to pick up on that also, especially since Mizi had just been broken by the loss of the one she loved most and formerly had that spark of "hope and dreaming high" in her eyes. Luka may have chosen the song specifically to have Mizi recreate the "role of Hyuna" envisioned for it - as in, he never expected her to be obedient at all. He was riling her up to feel what Hyuna might have responded like to this song. But the Hyuna in his idealization is probably "blazing, absolute and strong" - instead of shutting down and giving up singing. Mizi lets herself get intimidated by his provocation into silence, but when she loses it to punch him in the face with no regard for the consequences - like Hyuna surely would do - is when he finally smirks. It's also a mockery of letting emotions take her over, securing his win and further reinforcing he is "in the right". )

Another interesting tidbit is that Luka's personality isn't of the ethereal "pitiful-but-nice" character, but rather something that "fits VIVINOS taste". He is also compared frequently to Ivan in personality/mindset, who is described as a "bad boy" with a possessive/manipulative streak. If the sides of Ivan we get to see that related to Till are fairly tame and the team worries so much about contrast, that seems to imply that Luka embraces the more extreme parts left out of Ivan.

Even more interesting than that is the core of Luka's character inspiration - "the little prince", which I assume most people have read before. It's a children's book about an adult meeting a little prince from space and basically sharing life lessons.

If we look a little beyond the "cute blond kid"/moon motif...the most striking aspect about the Little Prince is probably the idea of the rose and the fox. The immature prince is taught the concept of love and responsibility by a wild fox - that to tame someone is to make them unique, and it's the time spent nurturing that love that makes it precious. The prince had been frustrated by a Rose he thought he loved, but grew annoyed by because he could not understand her. He also was confused upon realizing there were many roses in the universe, but his was too selfish and flawed. So is she not as unique as he thought? He starts missing the rose, and learns that there IS a difference - none of the roses are "his" or sound like "his" - because if they have tamed each other, going forward, he isn't just any little boy to his rose anymore - he is "the" boy, and she is "the" rose, unique in the universe.

This feels extremely relevant to a character presented as a "product" of gene editing and, basically, being created in a lab. The implication to me is that there may be many other "Luka"-like humans - the vast array of congenital diseases he manifests such as heart disease, Raynaud syndrome, asthma and chronic migraine all make him sound like their universe's equivalent of a white pug dog with dubious origins to boot.

What makes that test tube baby, raised by a ruthless alien that doesn't care about him as more than a way to vicariously live a life of success and luxury, unique in that case?

Love.

And my take is that, the fox and rose to his little prince are the siblings Hyun Woo and Hyuna.

(I'm suddenly reminded of the Vanitas no Carte Louis-Domi-Noé trio. Why do those never end well?)

IMO the rift created between Hyuna's brother and Luka wasn't necessarily there from the start. Before getting more strongly attached or opening up to Hyuna, Luka looks extremely detached. Hyuna's brother looked like the picture of excitement and youth, so it feels like he could have reached out to the quiet boy first and Hyuna tagged along. The settings mention something along the lines of Hyuna not quite being the origin of the "dreamer" outlook, but being inspired by her brother, and I can picture it.

Hyuna's MV All in and her relationship with Mizi painted to me the picture of a girl that is naturally attractive - her drive and sunny disposition are simply dazzling. But, underneath, there seems to be "something" doesn't it? I think Hyuna's charm comes from a mix of strength and vulnerability. She seems like the type of person to cope with humor and being flirty in order to lift people's moods and surprise them, but Hyuna herself can have quite heavy and serious feelings. The somber look suits her, and it's overall impressive that she didn't completely break because of her brother. It's like her innate talent for performing draws people to her, but at the same time she can sustain an illusion of "closeness", her true worries and wounds are kept deep inside and she doesn't let others truly see into her.

So.

What's shown in Blink Gone to me is that Luka's not merely surviving a death game, he is enjoying the show and trying to feel alive. To someone like him that probably already feels dead inside all the time and was "abandoned" by Hyuna, there is nothing much to look forward to. We don't know what happened between Hyuun Woo's death and their first alien stage run (quite a lot, since Hyuna even lost a leg) ot the timing of their relationship fall out. Given their memories and image of eachother, it does seem to be implied they were already going separate ways right after the incident.

It's likely that what connects Luka to Hyuna's memory the most is the feeling of performing itself - the one time he gets to be free. Luka acts like he is superior to the other pet humans for having "figured out" the system and feeding into it, and looks down on them for having no control over their emotions. But does he really have total control over his own?

In spite of all the abuse he embraced as his own will or believing he could truly get any power by playing the game according to its rules and "overcoming fear", someone as unpredictable and impulsive as Till is the natural enemy of someone like Luka. He had the upper hand as long as it stayed within his plan, but Till suddenly going as far as going back to the green light indicator was worrisome. Luka's Stamina is actually rather crappy, so if Till did decide to go all out, he might have been cooked.

I think, to Luka, it's probably about more than keeping himself alive. And Till flipping the game then would have made him waste his life on a performance that was supposed to be easy -and- it must be annoying that Till strayed off-script. My hypothesis is that he wants to reach out to Hyuna, still - either by increasing the influence of humans to shift the world closer to the one she envisioned, or by putting his life in the line at the stage as many times as possible to feel the "weight" of her presence as if she still were by his side or to grow so famous that she cannot ignore or escape him.

Deliciously hypocritical of him to look down on others so much, when Hyuna's unannounced presence shook him so badly he turned his back to the stage and stared at her with an expression we'd never seen before.

My take is that her walking in like this is seriously the worst scenario to him. Luka expresses in the artbook that he pities Hyuna and that her safety would have been guaranteed with him, so - because of his influence - I think he might actually have gone to the Alien Stage again to secure his power status AND request to keep Hyuna out of it. A condescending sort of domestication we know she would hate, but would keep her safe.

But see. Even if she wasn't under his care, being out there causing a ruckus is one thing - she's alive and kicking, not really in the slaughterhouse. He can live with that. So, he sings to his heart's content. And...

His sneering that people are suuuch rookies at controlling their emotions...

Sooo weak to let their emotions and regrets dominate them and make them lose sight of the stage, compared to his Super Competent self that can overcome fear and control his own heart rate...

All came back to bite him in the ass, like an idiot.

All other characters were pitted against their worst case nightmare scenario, and I doubt the Prince will be an exception. I really don't think his type of obsessive is wanting to be superior to or beat Hyuna at performing either, even if it's his guardian's mindset (it seems Heperu feels inferior to Hyuna's guardian and adopted Luka simply as a means of beating him - so seems very possible he will push for having the two face off and prove Luka's "superiority").

No matter what he does now, it's either Hyuna against Mizi at the risk of death or Hyuna against him. Hyuna's a wanted criminal - there is absolutely no talking a way out of that one. Not only that, Hyuna's bleeding from her wound already. Luka facing against Hyuna as the second time champion would mean being forced to choose - keep rulling the stage, or chose the one who was his guiding light in the first place?

The imagery from the sweet dream opening (as well as Luka having covered that song) is "release" - Luka dying at Hyuna's hand even if it's not something she can truly do with pleasure, no matter how much she copes with her past wounds by hating him. I wonder if it's a red herring or if it will play out, I particularly want whatever will allow to explore their character, feelings and motivation the deepest.

I don't think Hyuna wandered onto the stage for his sake - it seems like it's for Mizi, who is completely frozen. Hyuna probably has up until now coped with hating Luka because he represented everything she was rebelling against - the "system" itself. A nasty cog in the engine of the aliens who, even if not directly, ultimately were the cause of the entire context that stripped her away of her freedom and lead to her precious brother's death.

However...

My guess to what's happening here isn't "wow your outfit is so slutty" or "you've grown". It's more like...Luka suddenly looks too human.

He wasn't supposed to.

...Phew. That's all for now. The ADHD gets strong when I'm talking about something that tickles my brain, so I hope that wasn't too messy/unintelligible to follow with the back and forth jumping timelines or repeating points of interest I did.

Well! I really, really wish there was more for me to keep going, but for now I'll live with overthinking with what we have. I might do separate analysis/speculation for the MVs if I have a deadline I'm procrastinating on come up the time.

Bottom line is, I think all those characters are very interesting, but Hyuluka are the ones I'm rotating like a rotisserie chicken in my mind. Plz hurt me more VIVINOS team and thanks for the good fucking food

[rainbowdaisy13]

TTPD The Anthology Summary Part 1 *IMO*

This is viewed through a queer lens because I believe she is fucking done playing nice so now she’s throwing it in our faces—FUCKING SEE ME

1) Fortnight—

I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me/I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic

*MIGHTY GOD we start right out the gate sad as hell—no one noticed her queer flagging both quiet and loud and that pushed her from being a functioning alcoholic to a not functioning one. She then says to the fans who refused to acknowledge her truth “I hope that you’re ok but you’re the reason” FOR ME BEING INSANE

*Mentioning wanting to kill people that’s a first and I love it

*I love you it’s ruining my life OUCH 🤕 yes that sounds like something straight people deal with 😑

2) TTPD-

*I’m sorry I can’t remember what mutual said this, but I love love this as coming from Karlie’s perspective. It absolutely fits. She ground Taylor in a way no one else can

*First mention of suicide—both can’t live without the other

*Were crazy—owning the demons together

*The wedding ring line—GOD

3) MBOBHFT—

*I see this one as Taylor viewing herself as a commodity, also as someone who is broken and needs to be fixed so that she remains lovable. It also gives me Cardigan vibes without the redemption arc

4) Down Bad—

*Love this Alien Abduction theme. Melody is even spacey sounding. The entire song uses alien motifs and I adore it. Fave line “they’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you” Brilliant 👽 Also the concept of an Out of this World Love

5) So Long London—

*Cool opening—beautiful when they layer her own voice

How much sad did you think I had in me? 😫

*I see this song as a My Tears Ricochet 2. Taylor giving all her youth to someone for free. You say I abandon the ship but I was going down with it—I truly believe she tried and begged them to let her come out for years and she was always shot down—2 graves 1 gun, more murder imagery

*So Long London, so long Big Machine

6) BDILH—

Absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking song

These people only raise you to cage you 😫

*Sarahs and Hannahs/braided hair/church/Elders making decisions—giving cult/LDS vibes

Stay away from her -Elders are yelling this—to who? Taylor? So Taylor needs to stay away from HER interesting

*Shed rather burn it all down than listen to them complain about her sexuality and how it impacts them

My good name, it’s mine alone to disgrace —absolutely shots fired at Scott Swift

*Soliloquies line is incredible—“I’ll never see” is such a burn 😆

*This isn’t a phase, this is who she is!!

*YOU AINT GOTTA PRAY FOR ME!! GET THEM ALL BITCH—SHOW THEIR ASSES

*This is my choice!!

GET 👏🏼 THEM 👏🏼 ALL

NO YOU CANT COME TO THE WEDDING PERIOD

7) FOTS—

*Pretty Baby, much like Babydoll is reserved for women and gay men and theys and thems. We don’t call straight men this 😒

*Fresh out the slammer—realllly trying to get these idiots to understand that she’s felt jailed /caged/trapped

My friends…Watch me daily disappearing 😫 fuck

Wearing Imaginary rings 😫😫😫 Says hello to paper rings says hello to imaginary lockets

*It’s gonna be alright she did her time!! 🥹

8) FLORIDA!!!—

I adore this song—my second fave on the album and absolute fucking banger. So glad Florence agreed to this they makes an amazing duo vocally—main vibes—Florida is the place Taylor wants to go to fucking escape the mess she lives in day to day. Anything goes, everyone is there hiding from something—the law, family, winter—nothing is too weird or unaccepted—and a certain someone has a house there ��

My friends all smell like weed or little babies 😆

Florence’s verse is chefs kiss—Earl had to die vibes, watching bodies sink into the swamp, just full on misandry I LOVE IT—is that a bad thing to say in a song?? 😆 GET THEM ALL

Also I bet this song made Swifties uncomfortable 😆

FUCK ME UP FLORIDA 🤘🏼🤘🏿🤘🏾

9) Guilty as sin?

The Gay Longing/Gay Sex Song

*Another* suicide reference—but she’s just joking right swifities?

👀

No no that’s fine she just described an orgasm and if she’s not touching the person, let’s assume the pic below ⬇️ is like HEY THIS IS THE SEX IM SPEAKING ABOUT—it’s very much giving The Man pose for getting dome👀

And then the Jesus reference is just chefs kiss—gay sex is seen as sin and unholy by idiots and she said ok then bitch, what if I tell you the sex is so good we ARE what’s holy??

👀

She literally said messy top lip kiss and got away with it like 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

10) WAOLOM—

I just……this may be my favorite song of hers ever. It’s absolutely incredible in its intensity, rawness, and truth as well as being a banger

Every lyric screams her pain

My bare hands paved their path/you don’t get to tell me about sad/ If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said

I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street —Witch Imagery again!!

WHOSE AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME

👹YOU SHOULD BE 👹

Shots fired again at Scott Swift!! Let’s hear one more joke—they mocked her pain because they truly thought they could convince her she wasn’t gay 🫥

GODDDD 😫

Put narcotics into all of my songs—“a drug or other substance that affects mood or behavior and is consumed for nonmedical purposes, especially one sold illegally—a drug that relieves pain and induces drowsiness, stupor, or insensibility”

SHE SAID I HAVE TO USE MALE PRONOUNS AND FAKE REFERENCES TO MEN IN MY LYRICS SO YOU IDIOTS STAY STUPID AND HAPPY

and that’s why you’re still singing along 😎

Just WOW

Brilliant and Heartbreaking and RAW

����🤍🤍 We love you Girl 🤍🤍🤍

[mavcancees]

Have you by any chance taken a look at r/dwt2 recently? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the posts over there about Dream's interactions (or lack thereof) with the fanbse rn and the big content drought. I think you always have realistic outlooks on this stuff and it would definitely help some people on here that I know are trying not to feel too down about it. (100% /nf)

hello dashboard

this is the longest post i have ever written. remember, this is how i personally see things. you don't have to agree with all of it or at all. still, long as fuck. you have been warned

i do not use reddit and i especially don't visit spaces that are a vent melting pot. not something i want to encourage by giving it clicks

however it is a topic i do have thoughts on, of various kinds, so walk with me on this one. i believe the position is in right now is 1 - one he hates, 2 - one he was forced to be in and 3 - one he's too afraid to get out of

you can understand my second point easily, i don't think there's any argument about it. if it was up to him, the current state of his content would not be like this, not talking quality, but in the general lack of it. he had to reorganise his life around october 2022 to the point he considered quitting. that's not an easy thing, logistically an otherwise, and for dream out of all people to have even think about it, it must have been a tremendous feat to get out of that spot mentally. then he could not make usmp happen. dealing with the hate. gumball. releasing the video. these aren't things that he could predict, and did shape the timeline of content release

i don't want to say i feel a bitterness about it from him, because he's not a bitter person. but when he talks about the things that weren't, i do feel that sad yearn, the-one-that-got-away-esque vibe in the conversation. which is completely understandable, because those are his projects he put time thought money and love in. and then he gets the carpet pulled, and now we're here. i feel people forget that a bit you feel sad about all the content, imagine him. we knew about usmp for tops 3 or 4 days, he had been working on it for months. empathise with him a bit and understand this is not a place he wants to be in either

my general "critique" of him regarding the situation is the third point. i say fear, i don't exactly know if that's what it is, and just as above, i understand why it would exist yes, obviously the face reveal and meeting fans and having the parasocialism hit you in the face changes a lot. i understand, say, walking back from his "Stans" video, i understand walking back on the nsfw, i get those things. but we're a bit past that point now, where denouncing that parasocialism is turning into what i see as becoming the cc he has said he doesn't want to be

and i say this as someone that has been around for a WHILE. he has in the past spoken negatively about the path he is taking. the cc that's removed from his audience, the famous guy that has all his accounts managed, the creator with the over scripted, over hyped, removed of all spontaneous dynamic content that ends up either underdelivering, or not delivering at all. ( note here, i don't think dream will ever underdeliver. not in his dna. simply describing that general persona )

he's not there yet, at all, but he's edging close enough where people are starting to feel uneasy about it. some quietly, some in an understanding tone, others demanding and demeaning. and i feel at every step of walking down this figurative path, my first and second points ring very loudly. he doesn't really want this, he never asked for any of this. he has been forced into this position. but now he's on this weird stasis chamber of sorts, not fully in it but also doing nothing to get out ? i see the absolute love he has for music. i see how much he loves minecraft, and his fans, and the weirdness of it all. but he's alienating himself from it and not particularly putting up any sort of fight. not even raising his voice. nothing at all

no snapchats no tweets no likes no replies no streaming no casual popping into a friend's stream. and i am happy for him ! let me make that super clear ! taking time for himself, chilling, doing things in private. i'm glad he has that space now, and he's enjoying a life he very much could not have for years

but the very overwhelming, and genuinely new type of quiet makes that uneasiness i mentioned before grow exponentially. this isn't a quiet we're used to, and i have been through many. i am personally fine with it, i am not the one to demand content, i can simply do something else. but it does worry me he's kind of just taking the punches, and is taking them so much to heart he has removed himself this much from the public, in a seemingly unnecessary fashion. and here's the real issue for me on that third point, and where that worry comes from, and maybe in part curiosity ?

he's sure of what he's doing. at least it appears that way. i don't see all the puzzle pieces, and i am concerned at the picture they paint. is he scared ? is he tired ? is he waiting it out even more ? should i be concerned ? is that maybe too parasocial, or am i just so put off by the change of scenery and the lack of explanation for some of these changes ( like i said, i understand some, but others seem out of left field ) , it that it makes me reasonably worried

still. i get it

i criticize some of it, because yeah, i am selfish, i want the content creator that i have been following for five years to be, at least in part, the one i subscribed to. i want some content, any content, at all

i also understand the road to here was not the one neither of us expected it to be, and it changed him more than it changed me

i am a passive onlooker of his life, and i have no right to make demands to what he gives me access to. i only can complain as much as it is appropriate, which is vocalising my feelings of missing him, because he has given me a piece, and now i don't quite get why it's gone. previously he would have told us why, now it's dead lining

but it's his life. it's his time. it's his piece. and it's his choice. he can do with it as he pleases. i can be unhappy. i can have issues with it, i can worry. i can demand explanations. i am not entitled an answer. the second people understand that last part, they will have a much better time dealing with the quiet

i miss him, i really do. i understand why he's gone. i don't approve of how far he's taking it. but that doesn't fucking matter, because whatever the reasoning is, if he is doing it this way, it's for a reason that's enough to him. and i'd say, we have to trust him with his own life

[uniistars]

Hello everyone!

We’re excited to announce that we’re working on a new project called UniiStars, which we hope to adapt into a cartoon and release on YouTube! As part of this project, we have a main cast that we’d love to introduce. We’re looking for help with this endeavor, so if you’re an animator, are willing to help with costume design, or just an artist in general, we’d love to hear from you! In the future, we’ll also be looking for voice actors, but not just yet. If you’re interested, please follow the blog to stay updated!

Right now, we’re okay for writers, but if we need anything in the future, I’ll post about it here.

Here’s a rundown of some of our characters:

Regan is this very extroverted, happy-go-lucky girl. With an overactive imagination, she often gets lost in her own little world— she likes to pretend she’s a princess. She doesn’t need a reason; she just enjoys the fantasy. Regan is incredibly supportive and always there for her friends.

Benjamin is one of the main characters, along with Regan. He is very nerdy and chatty. He’s not the stereotypical shy guy, but he’s very awkward, so he’s not great at expressing it. He has a passion for linguistics and loves translating things. While he enjoys all subjects, linguistics is what he specializes in. He’s also very clumsy, and sometimes he can embarrass himself without meaning to.

This alien girl has an otherworldly charm and exudes a calm and slightly detached demeanor. She often seems lost in thought or caught up in the vastness of her own mind. While she may come across as a bit spacey, she possesses a unique insight that sets her apart, processing the world in a way that’s distinctly her own.

Abigail is Regan’s goth roommate who studies forensic science. With her dark, unbothered vibe, she comes across as a bit gloomy, but there’s more to her than meets the eye. While she might seem distant to some, Abigail is a great friend, especially to Regan. She’s one of the few who can truly appreciate Regan’s quirks without getting annoyed.

Elijah comes off as super chill and laid-back, but he’s got a flirty side that makes him fun to be around. He loves to party and enjoy life, often seen with a drink in hand and a charming smile. Despite his carefree vibe, he’s a genuinely nice guy who cares about his friends. He also has this princely aura about him that adds to his charm. But behind that easygoing exterior, he comes from a pretty strict background, which gives him a bit more depth than you might expect.

Lila is a bit of a mystery, but she studies politics, a subject she’s really passionate about. She can be a little nerdy, but not overly—she just really cares about her studies. Lila has a sarcastic edge and is a bit shy, but not overly so; she’s just more reserved in social situations. When she likes someone, she’s surprisingly forward about it.

Thank you for your interest in UniiStars! We can’t wait to share more with you!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello sex witch! I hope i am not disrespectful or annoying in sending this ask. Im a mid 20s straight dude who has never had any sexual experience, and i know people constantly say that it doesnt define me, that i shouldnt base my self worth on that, but the fact is it is incredibly alienating to be an adult who simply does not participate in what for most people seems to be a normal part of adult life. I want to have sexual experiences, but at this point im afraid i am like… too broken to start? Like who would want to initiate a sexual experience with someone like me yknow? I guess im asking for advice in how to overcome this kind of thing and begin having a sex life. Even if you can’t provide much advice, I’m hoping that if you post this, maybe other people in my situation will feel a little less alone. Love and light to you <3

hi anon,

this isn't disrespectful or rude at all, and I'm glad you're willing to reach out for advice about this! I often worry that I'm missing the 20-something straight dude demographic, but I'm glad to know some of y'all are out there, because you deserve compassionate conversations about sex as much as everyone else does :)

I'm gonna say this right up front: you're not broken. nobody is! whenever you find yourself worrying that there's something about you that would make any potential partner go running, I want you to imagine the situation were reversed. if a woman you were attracted to told you something about herself that was the same thing you're ashamed of in yourself, would you stop being attracted to her?

in this case, would it be a dealbreaker for you that someone else hadn't had any previous sexual partners? would you think they were broken and unfuckable, or would you see that as just one aspect of a person who's much more than their sexual history?

if you wouldn't feel negatively about a partner having that trait then I'm sorry, you're not allowed to hate it in yourself! them's the rules!

listen: very rarely does a person pick a sexual partner because of their extensive sexual resume. people connect over shared interests, over similar senses of humor and values, over bonds that can be formed in a second if the vibes are right. most people won't care how many other partners you've had; they'll care if you seem interesting and dynamic and worth getting to know more in a carnal manner.

listen: ultimately, you have very little control over whether or not you have sex. it's largely a matter of luck and coincidence unless you feel like paying someone to have sex with you, which is a fine thing to do - sex workers need to make rent, after all. but what you can control is how you show up in the world, how you express yourself, and how you interact with others. cultivate yourself. dedicate time to your interests, take loving care of yourself, learn to do things that make you happy without shame, practice being a good friend and conversational partner, take risks that let you have fun outside your comfort zone.

in short, focus on the areas of your life that you can control rather than dwelling on the ones dictated so heavily by chance. the best case scenario is that you become the sexiest, most interesting person alive; the worst case scenario is that you enjoy life more fully whether you have a partner or not.

also, hey: for what it's worth, studies pretty consistently find that most people tend to WILDLY overestimate the amount of sex that other people are having while considering themselves below average. the truth is that you're unlikely to be nearly as much of an outlier as you worry that you are.