#also WHY DID I SAVE THESE FOR ALL AT ONCE
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
To The Devil I Know
dbf!joel miller x younger!reader
summary: your infamous girl's trip with your best friend sarah gets crashed by his overprotective dad. but what is the perfect way to leash all your anger out?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), brat taming, it's pussy spanking time again bc i do in fact like it a lot, praise/daddy kink sprinkled somewhere, reader calls him mr. miller A LOT, exhibition kink (v nasty), degradation kink (he calls her little slut), pantie sniffing (joel's kind of a perv, ay), dirty talk (they have a sentence awaiting in horny jail), y/n grinds on joel's nose bc yeah i too want that, this is contradicting but lwk sub!joel bc that man's touch starved as HELL, may do a part two idk pls give it love, dad!bod joel bc i say so (yummy), no angst (wtf dilf-docs? the angst gods are so pissed off rn)
word count: 7,195 words
side note: this request got me HOOKED the moment i opened it and since i'm currently on a pedro hyperfixiation rn, we need to put the mental illness to good use. also, this is lwk based on the song by suki waterhouse devil i know! :) i'm seeing that i have two joel fics with devil in the title btw something something abt nickels and not being a lot but weird it happened twice also WE HIT 300 FOLLOWERS??? (and its 1am and i have to wake up at 4am is anyone surprised atp...)
"Sarah!" you shout, "get your ass out here you looser!"
It's probably eight in the morning, and here you are, honking and shouting in the middle of the quiet calm suburbs.
When you spot her curly head running towards you in a rush, you know she's pissed.
"Stop screaming!" she shouts back, "my neighbours will hate me"
You've known Sarah since you were kids. When you first moved to Texas, she was the only one who spoke to you in school. You grew up with her among white picket fences and scrapped knees, mantaining the friendship even as you moved away, until your return for college.
"Why would I even care? I don't live here!" you joke from the driver's seat, hopping off and giving her a hug. "I'm sorry but I can't help it. I'm just so excited for this trip, we've been planning it for ages!"
You keep talking excitedly about your plans, not noticing how her face falls.
"Yeah, about that..."
"You girls ready?" a third voice enters the picture, definitely not belonging to a girl.
"Uh, Sarah" you breath in, "Why the fuck is your dad here?"
In all his glory: Joel Miller, a guy you haven't seen in forever, too busy living in the dorms, girl dates with Sarah often out of her house. You wanted to explore the world: you weren't ten anymore, and the suburbs lost all of it's appeal they had when you were the age of Barbies and drawing on chalk.
"Listen, y/n. I tried, I really tried. But as soon as I opened my mouth, he started to pack his bags"
"Isn't your dad always busy at work?" you inquire, another one of the reasons Joel's face isn't a fresh memory in your head.
"That's part of the problem. He took all of the pending vacations he had at once" she sighs, sounding as dissapointed as you are. "I understand if you don't want to go"
"Are you being serious right now?" you chuckle dryly. "No, absolutely not. I saved for this trip, packed my favorite outfits and aced all my classes so my parents would allow me. Nothing is going to ruin this for me: not you, not your dad. So we'll go and we'll have all the fun we planned, yeah?" you express firmly, holding her hands. "We will have our girl summer, no matter what. Even if we have to ignore the elephant in the room..."
"Did you just call me fat?"
You turn around, and there he is: the uninvited. Joel Miller's aged face stands before you, strong arms flexing under the pressure of a couple of suitcases.
"No" you reply back, "just a nuissance"
He chuckles at your response, amused. "If you thought I'd let my babygirl go alone with you to the beach and get shit-faced drunk, you're not as smart as I remember, y/n"
Your name would always be on his tongue to call you out. Y/n, don't do that. Y/n apologize to the neighbours. Y/n, slow down. Y/n, don't be so stubborn. You were always a troublemaker, and his lips would only know how to pronounce your name if to berate you. But now, as his mouth says your name with a newly learned tone, dripping with dare and amusement, you can't help but feel a fire ignite that burns your skin.
"Dad!" Sarah calls out, taking you out of your thoughts. She flushes in embarrasment, and you scoff at the idea of giving too much of your time to think about Mr. Miller of all people. "I'm not ten anymore, we'll be just fine"
"You're barely of legal age!" he counters back. "What if somethin' was to happen to you, huh? I'd never forgive myself"
You get annoyed at his over-the-top reactions. What did he think you were gonna do? The wildest thing you had in mind was getting drunk while sitting in the sand. Not even in the water! You may be a wild spirit, but stupid you're not.
"Look, Mr. Miller" he cocks his head to the side, daringly so, almost as if waiting for you to try. "I don't know what you're thinking, but this isn't Driveway Dolls" he looks at you confused, so you try again, "Or Thelma and Louise, whatever suits your fucking old ass. Alright? This is a girls trip, heard that? Just two bestfriends enjoying their youth and summer without boys around to ruin it for them"
"Boys?" he laughs. "Too bad, then, 'cause sweetheart, I'm a man"
Your breath hitches, but you're not going to let him win; you always need to have the last word.
"Well, man up and let your daughter be free for once!"
Sarah covers her face with her palms, clearly knowing her dad more. This is a lost battle.
"Stop, y/n. Please. Dad's impossible to bend"
"He's ruining our trip!" you protest, feeling like a child throwing a tantrum.
"Take it or leave it" he leans against his truck, crossing his arms. Your eyes dart to the strained fabric of his sleeves, and when he chuckles, you don't know if he noticed or it's because of his imminent victory.
"Fine!" you throw your hands in the air, dramatically so. "Welcome on board, intruder"
Joel Miller smiles, and maybe it's the rare sight, not even common back in the day, that makes your heart skip a beat.
"And we're taking my truck"
"Are you being serious right now?!" Was this man going to take away all your freedom?
He laughs, mockingly. Rage bubbles in your chest, along something darker you aren't going to admit just yet.
"There is no way my daughter is going on a fucking hatchback to the beach"
You try to distract yourself talking to Sarah in the backseat, but her dad's prying glances time to time from the rear view mirror have you shifting uncomfortably on your seat.
He's persistent, always has been. Joel Miller, just as Sarah said, wasn't a man who could be bent. You'd remember thinking he was a sort of superhero: unbreakable. Whenever Sarah needed help, a pair of strong arms would be there, ready to take the weight off of her shoulders. He was now older, as you have noticed: grey and wrinkles sprayed all over his face. And now, the worst part of it all:
Age had made him infuriatingly attractive.
Unfair, you think, that a man so bitter that only seemed to worry and nag, was blessed with the rare quality of aging like wine. You can deny it anymore: whatever Joel Miller has now that he didn't before is working on you like a lovesick spell.
You look again to the front, just in time to catch one of his subtle (not really) stares. You keep the eye contact, only he tears away his gaze first, something akin to regret and fear circling on his warm brown orbs. The fire from before cracks inside of your belly, and the anticipation begins.
If he was going to ruin your trip, you might as well return the favor.
"M' gonna stop for gas" he says after some minutes of silence, deviating towards a gas station.
You take the opportunity to get out of the truck to strech your legs. Sarah does so too, but then whispers into your ear:
"Tell my dad I need to go to the bathroom. Don't want him worrying"
As if you'll talk to him. Despite that, you nod and she leaves you alone with her annoying dad.
"Reckless too, huh?" Joel appears by your side, almost making you drop your phone. "You know you're not s'pposed to use the damn phone on a gas station? Good thing I ain't let my daughter go alone with you"
You put your phone down. "Reckless? I know what I'm doing" but you sound nervous, for some reason.
"You haven't changed at all, have you?" Joel says, his voice surprisingly soft.
You heart gets stuck in your throat at the sudden shift, "I suppose not"
"I get that you hate me" he confesses, done filling the tank, "but I couldn't let the two of you go alone"
Your cheeks turn pink at the accusation, "I don't hate you"
He laughs, and the sound has something stirring in the lower of your belly. Why is Joel Miller of all people provoking feelings in you no other boy has ever provoked? You're used to playing with boys as you please, and you come to realize that's where the difference lies: you don't know how to handle a man.
A man so strong, your eyes don't leave him as his arms flex while pumping the gas, the delicious peek his simple white shirt gives you not going unnoticed; droplets of sweat on his temple, sliding down his jawline then getting lost down the crook of his neck. You lick your lips on instinct, horrified when you realize what you've just thought and done.
"Damn right you don't"
You could say you've reached some kind of truce, but then Sarah comes back, and when you look at Joel again, he's reverted to that annoying apathic state of his, but instead of bothering you, it only makes you want more.
"Hey" he says to Sarah, "where you went?"
"I had to pee, dad. Relax" she dismisses, shooting at you a can-you-believe-it look.
He walks away, ready to jump in the driver's seat again, when he turns around to whisper to Sarah:
"Don't ever leave me again" tone stern, "not with her"
But you hear.
You arrived late, the sun hiding behind the large body of water that seemed infinite.
"I can't believe we missed the first sunset!" you whine. "It was going to look so good on my Instagram stories..."
"This generation and their problems" Joel scoffs, taking the suitcases to the house you've rented for the next two days.
The answer is right at the tip of your tongue, but you decide to be the bigger person and remain quiet. If he wants to play, you better play smart.
"Dad, please" Sarah calls him out, and you have to hide a laugh. "Don't fight with y/n"
"I ain't doing shit" he sneers, crossing his bulking arms.
Sarah walks past him, muttering against his childishness. That angers Joel, who tries to remain cool.
"I know you hate me" you suddenly appear by his side. Your vainilla scent gets up on his nose, invading his body of you. "I just think you should try, for Sarah"
"I don't hate you" he answers, and now it's your turn to laugh.
"Yeah? Doesn't seem like it, Mr. Miller" it comes out before you can stop it, and there's something dark lurking behind his brown eyes piercing through you.
"I don't" sounding more sure this time. Serious too.
"You'll have to prove that"
You enjoy the surprise on his face and the light pink sprinkled across his cheeks.
"Prove that?"
You nod, finding all of this suddenly funny.
"Hmh, you heard me. Prove it, Mr. Miller. That you don't hate me"
But before he can respond, your bestfriend is back.
"Y/n, come on! You need to check the house. It has a shared balcony!" Sarah beams giddy.
You let her excitement infect you, taking her hand as you go inside the house. Joel stays back, your words ringing on his ears.
On the other hand, Sarah and you check the room together.
"Look this" she points at one of the mirrors in the room: it has details that remind you of the sea. "Isn't it cute?"
"It is" you agree, "we should take a picture"
"Okay. But use your phone" she says, "mine died on the road"
You're about to pull it out when you feel your pockets empty.
"It's... not here"
"You might have left it in the car" she tries to help.
"Yeah" you try to remain level-headed, "I'll go search for it"
You return to the truck, pressing your head against the window. Just like your friend guessed, it's there, abandoned on the seat.
"Lost somethin'?"
You gasp, turning around. Joel Miller's face is centimeters away from yours, breathing heavily as his body cages your smaller frame against the truck's doors.
"My phone" you find your voice after what feels like eternity, "it's inside the car"
"Need help with that?" his voice sounds low, whisper easily to be confused with a growl.
You don't know how to answer, scared for the first time of where your mouth could take you. So your solution is to nod, and step aside for him to open the car.
"There you go" he's dropping it in your hands, fingers lightly brushing yours. There's a shiver down your spine despite the cool weather, and you know damn well it's all his fault. He may feel it too, by the way he takes a step back, putting some distance.
"Need anything else?" but it feels like a slap to the face, as if he's challenging you to speak what you've been thinking but are too coward to do when he stands before you.
"No" you mentally slap yourself for how pathetic you sound, "this is all I needed, Mr. Miller. Thanks"
You look back one last time, despite it all. And there it is: that same look he gave you in the car.
"Anytime" but it falls deaf to your ears, as you basically ran away from him.
Him and his imposing presence, enough to make your legs tremble and your mind to stop working. Him and his smell, that brings you back to simpler times and reminds you of a a secret place in the woods, musk getting under your skin. Him and his breath, hitching when you touch hands. Him and his beating heart, just as loud as yours.
"Took you long" Sarah comments when you return, "I was already falling asleep"
She doesn't know or suspect, you tell yourself, but that doesn't stop you from feeling sick.
That night, as Sarah lays by your side and you try to sleep, all you can think about is his big hands, the lingering feeling of a warm touch. And then Joel, stepping back―coming to his senses, as if something is holding him back.
Anytime.
You can't help but wonder what stopped him.
Days have blurred between drinks by the poolside, waves crashing, wet sand in your fingers and sun carressing skin.
Despite what happened, Joel remains in the shadows, letting you and Sarah enjoy your trip in peace. You may be spending time with your bestfriend, but his presence hangs in the air, impregnated with his strong pine and whisky smell, looming over you like a shadow; suffocating, like his scent is all you can breath. You hate how your mind keeps going back to him, because despite your inicial claims to ruin him, that wasn't the purpose of this vacation, yet Joel seems to have infected you with a need that corners your mind to think of him and him only. The greed you feel is unnatural, like a spell has been cast upon you. He may be far, just as you wanted, and you should enjoy that, but it's that very same distance that is driving you insane.
Today, you and Sarah decided to go diving and then play volleyball.
The day ends, the sun sets, and so does the tiredness. But as Sarah's snores fill your ears, you toss around the bed, trying to conceal sleep to no avail.
Staring at the ceiling, you kept drifting back to Joel, mind wondering and heart racing at thoughts of strong arms caging you, warmth in your body that the breeze creeping through flowing curtains fails to provide.
The sound of wood creaking jolts you awake. His silhoutte is hard to miss, and your eyes follow it cross your bedroom. You pretend to be asleep, his scent up your nose as he walks in careful measured steps, trying not to wake you up. He looks back at Sarah, and the moonlight betrays him when it shines over his eyes, revealing an adoration that gnaws your chest.
He keeps walking, until he reaches the shared balcony. It's then that you make a choice, heart pounding in your chest as you race yourself from bed, going his way.
You go outside, finding him resting his arms on the balcony, facing the beach in silence. Soft waves crash against the wet sand, but not even that can overpower the sound of your beating heart.
"What're you doin' here?" he's asking, even if you haven't moved from your spot. Seems like your friend wasn't joking about his heightened senses, despite his old age. "Thought y'were 'sleep"
"Well, Sarah is a fast sleeper" you answer, walking to his side.
"She sure is" and the faintest of a smile appears on his face.
Joel Miller is a mystery to you: the most closed off man you've ever met, hiding behind his apparent apathy that only seems to be gone whenever Sarah is around. She's the apple of his eye, and those soft traces of a more tamed character that come to light have truly picked your interest, begging for more crumbs that will help you puzzle who he really is: he, that is as handsome as a mystery. The worst is, you don't know what attracts you more.
But you won't let him win.
"Mr. Miller?"
"Yeah?"
"Were you married?"
He looks at you, dark eyes partly iluminated by the moonlight.
"Aren't you a bit too young to be bold?"
"And aren't you too hot to be all alone?" you reply in an instant, rendering him speechless.
He chuckles, but it sounds defeated rather than amused.
"Trust me, kid" he's back at facing the ocean. Goddamn coward. "This isn't what you want"
"Don't call me kid" you berate, almost repulsed at it. "I'm twenty one"
He scoffs. "Still hella young"
"But I know what I want" a wavering hand ready to trace over his pecs, but he's stopped you before it descends. Before it's too late.
"You don't" he assures, grip on your hand stronger, without knowing how much you're enjoying this. Or maybe he does. "See? That's the problem with you kids: you think you do, but you don't"
You loose your patience.
"Tell me then, Mr. Miller. Would a kid do this?"
Taking the distraction, the same hand flies now to grop his dick, and to your surprise, it's already hard.
"Seems I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they want"
"Stop" he warns, hissing when your eager fingers unbuckle his belt. It's huge, for some reason, and you can't help but feel an ardent throb at the thought of grinding on it.
When your eyes look at Joel, he swears he sees you devilishly smirk, almost as if you were mocking him.
"Stop?" you bite your lip, feigning innocence as doe eyes look where dark ones had done before. "If that's what you want, you aren't even trying"
You kneel down, and the position gives you the perfect side of his adam's apple bobbing in a nervous gulp. He grows insecure under your intense stare, breath hitching when the wind hits his now free member as you pull down his underwear, revealing it hard and leaking with precum. You laugh delighted, with victory, and he finds himself trapped between the moon and your games, drowning on a sea feet away.
"I think I know what you want"
"How? You don't even know what you want" barely fighting it.
Your fingers grace over his soft abdomen, tracing down his belly and happy trail. Your teeth nip at the skin scattered with soft rosy lines, peppering the skin with fluttering kisses to entertain your mouth until your digits touch his hard cock. Joel whines, squirming, and you're delighted with the receptiveness, needy sounds escaping his lips.
You haven't even started yet.
"You're right, I don't" you agree. "All I know is you piss me off and that you ruined our trip, so I'm gonna take my anger out on you one way... or another"
You take your first lick, savouring the dark red head. His hips buck, a shaky gasp robbed from his chapped lips.
"Fuck" he exhales weakly, lost against the sound of water.
"Don't worry, Mr. Miller. I'll take good care of you" admiring his girth. He looks down on you, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Joel can't lie and say he isn't fascinated with the way you look at him, not believing so much appetite can fit in such a small young body. Not even his partners before you, had looked at him like he was the best thing in the world, and now here you were: the loud-mouthed brat best friend of his daughter, sucking his cock while Sarah slept just a few meters away. Just yersteday he was bickering with you, not standing your spoiled attituted and juvenile spirit that can't be tamed and won't shut up. Hell, you had even disrespected him. But here he is, not being able to find the words or actions to stop you: because he doesn't want to.
It was all so fucked up.
But then you're closing your lips around his swollen head, and he knows there's no point in fighting it anymore, his whole body urging him to give in.
"Oh, fuck" he pants, getting all worked up as you take him deeper. "Keep goin'. You're doin' a great job, sweetheart"
The praise gets to you, even if not needed.
Your tongue swirls, running the muscle with wet slides, up and down, tip to base, some pressure applied. You proceed to take in his balls, feeling him tense up. You wanted to mock him badly, but your mouth was full of his dick, so that wasn’t happening.
"D-don't stop" he pleads, sounding more like a whine.
He's deep enough that it hits your throat. You've never been this greedy, but also, have never tried with a dick so big. You feel him in the roof of your mouth, your lips at the base of the tip, brushing against skin. Joel can't keep up: breath hitching, moans ragged and consumed, barely standing if it wasn't for your hands digging in his thighs for support.
You keep building pace, seeing Joel's face scrunch up.
"M' close" his voice comes out strained, his head tilting back, wild soft locks from before now plastered against his forehead, dripping with sweat. His muscles tense, you can feel it, and it's just about time before he's coming inside your mouth.
You want it. To taste more of him, who you claim to hate but feels oh so good. Strong, just as his presence.
"So good, fuck, you're so good" in a tone so needy and desperate. It falls out of his lips, followed by more unintelligible praises dripping from his tongue.
And then, in a shaky breath, lost to the wind:
"Y/n"
You gasp, and he feels it, the air ticklish on his sensitive skin.
Joel said your name.
Your name, in a way it had never been said before. Uttered like a prayer, submerged in devotion. Your name, melting into his moans, deep within him, the calling full of a primal desire. The experience is intoxicating, making you crave more.
Joel comes with a groan, head falling back. Your name dies on his lips as his hips thrust up with your lips closing in. Thick spurts of cum mix with saliva in the back of your throat. You pull out, a string of saliva still connecting you to his dick. He looks down on you, body shaking as much as yours. Without breaking eye contact, he wipes some of the mess drooling from your lips, his calloused thumbs carresing you with a softness you didn't think was possible. The contrast makes you falter a bit, and you know Joel notices.
"There you go" your voice comes out hoarse, avoiding his eyes, "now you know what you want"
He chuckles, giving you a hand to stand up. As you raise to your feet, his face is barely inches away from yours. You can see the lines time has marked across his face, the grays coloring hair you remember to be brown, and those eyes―piercing through you like they know you better than you know yourself.
"But do you?"
Joel Miller doesn't know what is regret.
He didn't feel it when Sarah arrived unexpectedly at the ripe age of twenty, forcing him out of college. He didn't feel it when Sarah's mother left him alone to raise his daughter all by himself, aware he had tried it all to make it work. He surely didn't feel it when you came back after leaving Texas, long gone the childlike wonder and features that made him see you as an extension of his daughter, his gaze lingering a bit too long on this familiar face in a beautiful blooming new body.
But this is different, and he isn't sure if, for the first time, he's finally known what is regret.
Joel Miller also doesn't know when to back out of a fight.
He remember his brother Tommy, practically begging to let go of some asshole that dared to pick up on him, knuckles bloody no matter if he was young then and old as stubborn now, the same red painted across his willfull hands.
But now those hands prickle and sweat, no matter how much he runs them over the fabric of his jeans. And now, as your dangerous stare pierces through him across the small table, Sarah oblivious to the game as she quietly munchs her cereal, Joel Miller backs down, his gaze the first to look away.
He realizes just now why he was so afraid to look up to the sky after you left. The same stars that stared back from the high of the dark night are akin to the ones dancing in your eyes.
"Mr. Miller" your voice breaks his train of thoughts.
"Where's Sarah?" he asks in a panicked voice, realizing you've been left alone.
"Brushing her teeth" you answer, slightly taken back by his tone. "We were going out today, remember?"
Ah, yes. A little tour to an island not to far away from there.
"M' not goin'. Sorry, kid" he's decided. Before you can speak, Sarah returns and asks the question herself.
"M' tired. That's all" but it sounds rather an excuse.
"Are you sure, dad?" Sarah presses, not sure why he had changed his mind at the last minute.
"Yeah" he insists, all while avoiding those eyes of yours, unsatisfied and searching for answers of questions qithout a voice. "You girls go and have fun"
So you do.
You go and feel like you're inside of Mamma Mia (your favorite movie; both of you learned ABBA's discography thanks to it, something that offended your parents), the sun reflecting in the water, the little island with its green and sun, and the flowers that dust their petals into the shore where your boat arrives.
But when the trip is over and soft waves rock your return, you think of Joel.
You think you should feel at least a little ashamed of becoming so obssesed with a man in barely two days, who, on top of it all, is your bestfriend's dad. But then you remember the taste of him inside your mouth, how his dick had rasped against your throat, his seed warm in the tip of your tongue. And then his eyes, promises meant to be broken locked away behind tides of fear, that do an excellent job of reminding you how easy is to drown; to fall for how in hazel flickers, Joel seems he'd give you the world.
"Let's get drunk" you deadpan once you're back at the shore.
Sarah laughs at your determination, then realizes you're serious.
"What?"
"Yeah, it's our last day here" you reason. "Besides, your dad isn't here. What's he going to say?"
If you sound between angry and dissapointed at his absence, Sarah remains quiet.
"We're running away" she tries one last time, but by the look in your eyes, you've made your choice.
"Are we? We're twenty-one, Sarah. We can do whatever the fuck we want" you feel rebellious all of a sudden, "what? Don't you wanna give this trip a grand finale?"
So you crash into the nearest bar and waste the night away, drinking and dancing. But you're ordering a drink you don't like, and in every glass of whiskey down your throat, his name hangs in the air like the memory of his smell, locked behind a vault as if it's too sacred to say. But when Sarah gets a boy to dance and lends his friend to you, you wish there was rough where soft meets your skin, and chapped when you kiss his lips. Your body burns ablaze with sweat, alcohol and regret, a dangerous combination that makes you pull Sarah out of the bar when you feel you're about to black out. She complains, but you're set on making it to the bed before your eyelids shut.
Maybe it's because you always had what you wanted, or maybe it was the forbidden, but whatever reason had pushed you in Joel's orbit, refused to let you go.
And maybe you're imagining his voice, scolding you like a kid. Maybe you're seven again, and in the shadows of the bed, you've gone back to your childhood days. Y/n, y/n, y/n. That sick berating tone of his, acting like you're stupid and small.
"Fucking brat" he spats, drops of his angry scowl landing on your cheek. You then realize he's hovering over you, and it's real, not a product of your foggy mind. So you stand up, sobering up a bit, when he charges back again. "Makin' my daughter pass out? What the fuck were you thinkin'? Could've ended in the middle of the street. You're s'pposed to go to the damn island and then come back!"
Your mouth tastes like sand, but even if you've passed out a couple hours ago, the fire doesn't die. So your tongue is back, finding it's voice to say:
"Well, if you hadn't left us alone, this wouldn't have happened"
He chuckles, darkly. Humorless. "I see"
"What?" you challenge, a shiver down your spine that looses itself somewhere else.
"You got my daughter drunk as revenge"
You're mortified at the accusation, the remnants of alcohol now long gone of your system.
"Do you think I'd risk me and my friends' safety for you? Out of all people, you?" not caring if you sound bitter.
The truth sticks to your skin as uncomfortably as the sweat.
"I dunno, sweetheart. That's why I'm asking you" the pet name rolls effortlessly, in a rough voice that creates a wet spot in your panties. He gets closer, and you can see the tremble of his lips as he lets out a shaky breath. "Be a good girl and answer"
"I won't tell you shit" you spit.
"You little mix, thinkin' you can run your tongue like it ain't been 'round my cock before" you look like a deer caught in headlights, and Joel's enjoying this more than he should. "That's right, what'd Sarah think knowing her friend's a little slut for'er daddy's cock?"
The electric current that crosses your body sparks the fire of the woods hiding behind his auburn storms.
Now you're feeling high on a forest fire. You want the flames to engulf you, even if ashes is all there'll be left.
"Tell me you want this" his forehead clashes against yours, and the whole world falls silent, except for your ringing ears.
"I want this" and he's just as surprised as you are by the unwavering conviction. "I need you, Mr. Miller"
You try to get up, but he pushes you with full force back into your bed. Then, the base creaks, and he's on top of you, his weight pressing you against the mattress.
"What are you-"
"You think I'd let you get away easily? Have things your way? Naive lil' girl" he tuts, "I'll punish you for that"
As on cue, drowned out snores are heard from your side.
"But, Sarah-" you try to protest, his body caging you under his mercy.
"That'll mean you're behavin', right?" he runs his thumb across your lips, gently pulling them down, as if the chase was thrilling as eating the prey. "I know you don't want to wake her up and see her slut of a friend bangin' her daddy"
You tense, remaining silent at the threat, even if your body reacts other ways.
"Good girl"
He’s quick to get rid you of your shorts.
"Fuckin' hell" he murmurs against your neck, the clothing discarded somewhere in the room. "Wearin' this little shitty bottoms to rail me up, knowin' damn well when to bent and get me hard. Been thinkin' of takin' them off ever since you wore 'em first"
The confession makes you whine, and Joel's delighted by the sound, and just how putty you are under his big rough hands.
"Let's see what we got here" his large hands caress your thighs as he settles between your legs. "Black lace, baby? Such a fuckin' tease. Wore 'em for me?"
You shake your head, but his calloused digits dig on the plush skin of your thighs, making you wince at the pain.
"Don't lie to me, sweetheart. You'd said you'll be a good girl, yeah?" you nod, soaking wet, painfully so.
"Yes, I'll be"
"Show me your manners, then" he presses light kisses on the insides of your thighs, close to where you need his graying beard to tickle, "and I'll show you mine"
"Just eat me, Joel" you demand breathlessly. "Fuck. Need you, Mr. Miller, so bad"
"And why should I reward you, impatient little slut? Eager to get daddy's filthy mouth between that pretty pussy" Joel bites the inside of your thigh, and it takes all of your strength to avoid becoming a moaning mess. "You've been bad, sweetheart. A brat"
You deny it, but his head dissappears between your legs, licking the wet spot on your panties. You squirm under the teasing of his tongue, legs shutting close on instinct. You drown a whimper in your palm as he yanks your panties away.
"Don't do anything I ain't tell you to" demanding, and if you weren't this horny and out of your mind, you'd probably be scared. "There'll be consequences"
You try to obey. But then his nose, that big nose you want covered in your slick as you grind off of it between your legs, sniffs your panties. He gives it one big sniff, and then two, fingers going white as he holds the piece of fabric with too much force, shoving it on his face.
"Ye'r too fuckin' sweet, I'll give you that" he mumbles in a drunken haze. "Need to taste that drippin' cunt of yours 'night"
The bed creaks again, or maybe it's the sound of his bones starting to give in to old age, but Joel is sucking your clit, tongue pushed inside of your puffy folds. You hide a moan against his lips, hands traveling to grip his hair.
"Joel" you breathe out.
He parts your folds easily, and before you know it, a rugged finger circles your entrance. Your back arches, and then he leaves place for his mouth again, flicking your sensitive core with his tongue. A moan a little too loud escapes your lips, making his eyes darken when the bed next to you shifts, Sarah tossing in her sleep.
"You dumb fuckin' brat. What'd I say?" his hand slams against your pussy, a sting you've never felt before, both showered in pain and pleasure, spreading across your cunt. "Don't disobey me. Apologize, now"
He stops his minstrations, and you're so achingly close to your orgasm, that the answer falls easy and rushed from your lips.
"Sorry, Mr. Miller"
"Good girl" Joel praises as he pushes his finger in, next to his tongue on your clit.
But the orgasm is so deliciously close, and you can't wait for more. So now you're grinding in his face by reflex, rubbing against his big nose just like you'd imagined. You whine at the sensation, and Joel rests his tongue flat on your clit with surprise.
"Who gave you permission to do that?" but his voice sounds more amused than nagging. "That imagination of yours is somethin' else. Have you been thinkin' bout it all this time, hmh, greedy dirty slut?"
The orgasm looms closer, hitting when Joel pushes a second rough finger in, walls clenching against his digits. He pulls away, licking his fingers with his tongue.
"Such a perfect pussy you got there, sweetheart. As sweet as you when you ain't bein' a pain in the ass"
You laugh breathless, trying to recover.
"Wanna taste?"
So now he's kissing you for the first time, his lips rough against plush skin, nibbling with your lower lips between his teeth, his tongue still tasting like you roaming free inside your mouth, like he wants to mark every corner; imprint himself in you. You've never wanted anything, hell, anyone more. The kiss leaves you hanging, heart racing at the closeness of his face and the warmhearted feeling of his lips on yours, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together.
"There you go" he chuckles, enamoured at the sight of your puffy lips. "Now it's my turn"
He's quick to get rid of the jeans and belt (oh well, it'll be another day) until he's over you, just wearing his boxers.
You'd never seen Joel naked before, why would you? But there's a vague memory of hot summer days, trying to survive the heat in the town's pool, just as the rest. He was there, eye candy for the mothers and horny teens. You hadn't understand back then, when he was all muscle, but you do know, where the mighty strenght is still hidden there, somewhere between his sturdy arms and chest as soft as his belly, round as it pushes above the only piece of cloth that forbids you to see his dick. His chest is full of hair, and God, you feel so dirty wanting to bury your face in the sweat drenched patch.
"Stop lookin' at me like that" he teases, but there is a small voice of insecurity hiding its undertones beneath his smirk under your stare.
"You're so fucking hot, Joel" comes out before you can stop it, now mouth acting up on its own.
Fuck, he thinks, he's too far gone. There's no point of return.
Your eager fingers pull down the underwear, fingers grazing the softness of his length. You slowly grabs his dick as he comes closer, never seeing anything as big and provoking as it. That makes you tighten your grip on his dick, which stands proud and tall, leaking precum, and the muscles of his thighs strain against his skin.
He positions himself between your legs again.
"Let's put this big bad boy to use, huh?"
He grunts at your words, large hands finding your thighs for support, as he caresses up and down the skin littered with marks and kisses.
Joel pushes in. Just his tip, yet your mouth falls open at how large he already feels, and you tighten your hold on his neck.
"Tell me if it hurts" all softness on his eyes, his forehead falling against yours, as if he hadn't been punishing you just minutes ago. Your heart races at the gesture, tender meeting the rough of his edges.
The real question isn't asked, but you're on the pill and you trust him. You just want to fill him inside of you, all of him.
"I will, Mr. Miller"
He slams all the way in. You let out a broken sound, quickly muffled by his palm as he stays buried deep inside of you, givimg you time to adjust to his size. It burns, but you enjoy the way the pain feels. He slowly pulls out, before pushing all the way in again. Your slick folds take him, and he grunts, supporting his aching body by the forehead against yours one more time.
"So tight, sweetheart. Ain't nobody ruinin' this pussy but me" his growl comes out possesive as Joel establishes a steady rhythm. You softly moan as he keeps moving, pounding into you, hitting a spot no one had before, making you see stars. It gets harder to stay quiet, but Joel caputres every little sound that comes out of you in a kiss, as if that way he could preserve them better and forever.
You wrap your legs tight around him, keeping him close as your walls clench around him, his thrusts harder yet slower as he keeps going, ramming into you.
"Look at you, coatin' my dick like a fuckin' meltin' ice cream" he gently pushes it again between your folds, rubbing his dick on your clit. "So fuckin' wet, for me"
His lips are slightly parted and his eyes looked all fogged up, lost in the fire, thrusts becoming sloppier as he too feels it coming.
"So fuckin' pretty" drips from his mouth, and there's the stars in your eyes and the light you insist he's always had, even if he'd prefere the darkness. "The prettiest girl in the world with the sweetest pussy, givin' it all to this ol' perverted fuck"
The words and his big dick inside of you makes your eyes flutter shut on instinct.
"Don't sleep on me, baby" he coos, a hand brushing damp hair from your face. You recognize the look: the same in the car, on the balcony and on the poarch of his house, after letting the years go by. Back then, you thought you had dreamed it, but now that the secret saccharine sweetness reveals herself as he slams into you, you know it was real.
This is real.
You meet his gaze again and try to hold it as he pounds you so gently yet so rough, trying to show him without words that whatever this wrong and sick feeling was, you felt the same.
"Such'a good girl, takin' me so well" Joel grunts, slamming to the hilt. "Fuck, sweetheart, I'm gonna-"
His dick twitches inside of you, walls spasming around his cock as your pussy takes it all, milking him dry.
"Take it all, like the good girl you are"
Both of you pant, and it takes him a while to realize the sun is raising again until its rays hurt his eyesight.
He's about to tell you how this shouldn't be, how he, at such an old age shouldn't be pinning for his daughter's friend: so young, sweet and loud-mouthed. No matter if you felt the same, or if your body was marked in and out by him, No, because wanting isn't enough, and no tide could wash away his sins from the shore.
"Listen, y/n-" your name like he has never said it before: no scold, no malice nor lust. Just a softness he hadn't felt in years, asleep under thick layers of cold.
But your soft snores fill the silence between the beats of his heart.
tags: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrosgrogu thank you sm for reading! hope u enjoy it :)
#dilfistwrites#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller angst#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#tlou#tlou fanfiction
691 notes
·
View notes
Note
you’re dating beomgyu and he’s so sweet and caring then you find out he’s serial killer and he has hidden body parts in his house but instead of being mortified you’re intrigued so you help him with his next victim then you fuck cause why not…. could also be good with soobin or taehyun
you know what? hell yeah!
tw, gore, soobin is literally a murderer, decapitating, dead bodies, hm they're equally freaky, penetrative sex, bloody sex.
soobin was a weird guy. socially awkward, shy and never fitting in larger crowds. your friends had all told you from the start that there was something off about him... something uncanny. you never believed them, soobin was so sweet, like a big friendly giant.
but you can't deny that the late nights spent alone in bed, followed up the petty excuses about working late he'd make had started to get to you. ― he was hiding something from you, that much was clear.
what you hadn't expected for it to be was the decapitated head you found in his freezer one Friday night.
"Binnie.." your voice is shaky as you call for him, your eyes glued to the dull eyes of the stranger that currently stared back at you. your boyfriend hums from downstairs, the sound of his heavy footsteps thumping in your ears as he emerges from the basement.
when he enters the kitchen he stops in his tracks, his gaze immediately landing on your find. immediately he springs into action, slamming the freezer door shut in your face as he steps between it and you. ― "it's not what it looks like" "I can explain" "please just give me a chance to.."
you cut him off with a finger to his lips. "did you...did you do that yourself?" you peer up at him with questioning eyes and soobin swallow as he slowly nods, mumbling out a quiet, "yes."
your lips part, a small breath passing them as reality sinks in. your soobin he... he... you blink, tilting your head to the side as you study him closely. ― "can I watch next time?"
it starts like that. with you sitting on a chair in the corner of the basement, watching as soobin works. his sleeves are rolled up, exposing his veiny forearms. they're covered in a thick layer of dark blood, his face is too, it had splattered all over him.
methodically sawing the limbs of his victim apart one by one. he's silent, save for the occasional grunt as he rips an arm off. ― with big and fascinated eyes you watch him, taking note of his every move.
it's not long until you join him, your own sleeves rolled up as he stands behind you, guiding your movement on the saw as you slice the body before you. ― it turned out to be a lot heavier than you'd expected, but it was quickly something you grew to like.
his large and bloody hands make you tingle as he slides them along your arms. once you've gotten the hang of it he lets you have a go at it yourself, busying himself with feeling you up. ― you try to ignore the way his fingers brush against the hem of your jeans, how they mindlessly fiddle with the button as you focus on decapitating the leg of the body before you.
but when his hand slips inside your pants, long fingers gliding between your already soaked folds, and when you feel the outline of his hard cock against your ass, it becomes impossible to ignore.
the body is long forgotten about when soobin shoves you against the basement wall. his cock throbs deep inside your cunt as his bloody hands tear your shirt open. ― you're both a mess, the smell of death mixing with your arousal as the sounds of pleasure fill the dim basement.
"you're a natural", soobin groans as he feels you clench around him. your heart swells at the compliment and you lean in to kiss him. ― "I happen to have a good teacher", you hum, fingers tangling in his dark hair, giving it a harsh tug.
soobin curses under his breath as his hips snap against yours. ― "fuck I can't wait to see you behead your first body."
#soobin smut#soobin x you#soobin x reader#Soobin drabble#soobin imagine#soobin one shot#soobin fanfic#txt smut#txt x you#txt x reader#txt imagine#txt drabble#txt fanfic#txt oneshot#soobin hard hours#soobin hard thoughts#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#Kpop drabble#Kpop smut#kpop fanfic#binnie's dreams
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Can't, I Have Rehearsal
pairing: socially awkward!park sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: high school au; crack, comedy, fluff
synopsis: What happens when you get seated right next to the most handsome boy in your entire grade? Well you thought it'd be a great excuse to get to know him better, but the guy won't even talk to you! After a mishap in the science lab, you come to find out that Park Sunghoon, the cold-hearted prince of EN High, isn't in fact rude, he's just afraid of women.
before you read: character profiles
warnings: language, physical violence in the forms of hitting and stomping, mentions of pushing someone in front of a bus, sunoo getting revenge on riki
word count: 3.7k
taglist (open): @ancnymcnzjy , @frankenstein852 @tasnemluvs
note: part 1 of my and scene! series, loosely based off en-drama.
Log 5: Monday - May 13th, 2024
“So why do you need to beat up Riki again?”
Sunoo rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time that morning. “Because I have to scare that damn Belift guy off.”
Jaeyun blinks. “Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you need to beat up Riki.”
“We’re not actually beating me up. He’s just gonna pretend.” Riki adds. “We’re gonna fake a fight and make it seem like Sunoo’s the leader of a gang. That way the recruiter gets scared and Sunoo never has to see him again.”
“And who thought of this?” Sunghoon asks, skeptical.
“Me, duh!” Riki stands tall and proud as he says this, only to be slapped up the head.
“Ow! What the fuck was that for?” Riki growls. “For creating the most dumbfuck shit plan I’ve ever heard.” Jongseong sighs.
“You’ll be regretting that when my plan works and I save Sunoo.” Riki grumbles to himself. “Okay stop,” Sunoo swats Jongseong away. “Riki and I agreed to do this, we’ll be fine, Jongseong.”
“Anything he’s involved in already has me worried.” Jongseong throws a finger towards the youngest. “Hey! It’ll be fine, Riki A and C are gonna be there too, they’re gonna be Sunoo’s lackeys.” Riki rolls his eyes.
“Whatever, just don’t get caught up in anything, Jungwon and I have to go to election rehearsal after school today and I’m not gonna leave if something goes wrong.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me, I still have to write my speech.” Jungwon covers his face in shame.
Though he planned to drop out, Jungwon and everyone else soon found out that dropping out wasn’t allowed once you were nominated, as there was only one other person running for president, some second year named Byun Euijoo.
So now Jungwon was forced to actually run, though he showed absolutely no enthusiasm.
“You don’t even care though, don’t you want to lose?” Heeseung brings up. Jungwon nods as they all walk down the street. “Yeah but I also don’t want to go up there and make a fool of myself.”
“Don’t worry, we’re not actually gonna fight, Konon said we could borrow her makeup, we’ll make some fake bruises.” Riki assures the other boy.
“Did she actually say that or did you just steal her makeup without her knowing?” Sunghoon questions, though he already knew the answer.
“Does it matter? What matters is we save our friend. Which none of you have done anything by the way, only me!” Riki marches forward, leading the seven inside the school building this morning.
Sunghoon slows down and grabs Sunoo’s arm. “Why are you going along with this? You could just call the police, you know?”
“Oh I already did, I have a restraining order on that guy,” Sunoo agrees as they walk to Sunoo’s classroom. “But this is my revenge on Riki for his stupid April Fool’s prank. I told him to help me or I’ll tell Konon about the time he slept over at my house and he cried that night because he couldn’t sleep without her or Misora.” He grumbles.
(Sunoo found out that Riki’s prank for him was making him audition for the newest “act” the theater club was performing: Spongebob Squarepants The Musical. Poor Sunoo had shown up with bright yellow face paint and suspenders while everyone else was auditioning for Les Miserables.)
Sunghoon shrugs it off and walks down the hall to his classroom.
“Hi Sunghoon!” A random girl smiles and waves as he passes her. “Hi,�� He gives her a small smile back, and pretends to not notice her squeal of excitement to her friends.
Just last week it’d come to his attention that Sunghoon was in fact not hated in his entire school, but actually quite popular.
Well in reality, his friends told him.
“You were so scared of girls you never noticed more than half of them are in love with you,” Jaeyun laughs. “Yeah, and now that you can talk to them without running away, we thought we’d tell you.” Sunoo adds.
While he was initially a bit upset his friends would withhold such information from him, Sunghoon’s anger soon morphed into hope: does that mean you are also in love with him? That thought brought butterflies to his stomach immediately.
As he enters his classroom, he’s ambushed by a few female classmates.
“Good morning Sunghoon! I got these cookies for you-”
“Yeah well I bought you some juice, and I wrote you this letter-”
“Move aside! Hi Sunghoon! I hope you like this muffin, I made it myself-”
“Ahem.”
Someone behind him clears their throat, and he spins around.
“Excuse me, you’re blocking the door,” You glare right past him and towards the other girls. Everyone moves out of the way, and you walk towards your cubby. “Excuse me,” Sunghoon mumbles, pushing the girls to the side to follow you.
“Hey,” He beams at you, opening his cubby to your left. Before you can greet him, a pile of letters and presents fall out. “Oh shit,” He scrambles to pick them up, stuffing them back in.
You watch him as he struggles, giggling a little. “Need help?” You ask as you close the door to your cubby. “Nope! No, I’m good!” He tries to play it cool, finally shutting his door and leaning against it awkwardly.
“Okay,” You eye him up and down before smirking and leaving for your desk. Sunghoon follows you like a puppy.
As you get your supplies out for the day, Sunghoon sits and watches patiently. Recently, he’s noticed something was off with you. You seem to be keeping your distance more often than not, and it’s more noticeable when around others.
At first Sunghoon thought it was just his imagination, but then he started to notice the weird looks your friends would give you whenever he joined in the conversation.
The only time he felt like you were yourself was whenever you two had a calligraphy club together, away from the crowds. Your eyes seemed to sparkle whenever you two were alone. It didn’t help that he now had a massive crush on you, seeing you shine like that.
“So!” Sunghoon clears his throat. “How was your weekend? Do anything fun?” He tries his best to create small talk, hoping to remove the awkward air.
“Oh yeah,” You nod, glancing at him. “My family and I visited my grandmother, I’ll have to show you the-”
“Hey Sunghoon!” Another classmate calls from across the room. Sunghoon can’t remember her name, but she grins at him like they’ve known each other their whole lives. “Did you have a good weekend? I was wondering if you were free after school today, we could go to a cafe? Jaeyun and Yuri are coming too.”
The girl gestures to his best friend and another girl conversing by their desks. With the way this girl smiles, Sunghoon has a feeling her intentions aren’t just to go eat pastries after class. And using his best friend as bait wasn’t going to bite either.
“I have club today, maybe another time.” He tries to apologize. The girl pouts. “What about after? I can wait-”
“No thanks, like I said, maybe later.” He waves her off, turning back to you, feeling embarrassed. Just weeks ago he would have cried if he knew a girl was even staring at him, now he was busy rejecting the hoards who got in his way.
You on the other hand, don’t look happy at all, facing the book on your desk and shoulders tense. “Sorry, what were you saying-”
The bell suddenly rings, and everyone scrambles back into their seats as Ms. Hong enters the class to start homeroom.
“It’s nothing.” You mumble, sighing as your eyes dull. You don’t even look in Sunghoon’s direction for the rest of the day.
Sunghoon frowns as he stirs his spoon around his soup, moping.
“If you’re not gonna eat your rice, can I have it?” Heeseung asks with a full mouth as he points to the pile of untouched rice on Sunghoon’s tray. Silently, he slides it over to the senior, who looks delighted to have a second portion.
“Where is everyone?” Sunghoon finally asks, realizing 15 minutes had passed and the only people sitting at their table were him and Heeseung.
“Huh? Oh, Jongseong is helping Jungwon write his speech in the library I think. Riki and Sunoo said they’re practicing their fake fight in the small gym with the other Rikis. I don’t know where Jaeyun is though, I thought you’d know.” Heeseung fills him in.
Sunghoon’s frown deepens. Heeseung suddenly clears his throat, taking big gulps of his milk.
“I don’t mean to pry, but are you okay? You’ve been kind of killing my appetite with your weird mood.” Heeseung asks. Sunghoon eyes the empty tray of food, as well as Sunghoon’s previously full tray dwindling down to zero with every bite the senior took. Sunghoon was pretty sure Heeseung was eating just fine.
But when he looked up at Heeseung, for some odd reason his mouth began to speak faster than his brain could comprehend.
“I think the girl I like hates me.” Sunghoon confesses.
Heeseung blinks, shocked. “Why do you think that? I thought Y/n was in love with you.”
The sudden mention of your name has Sunghoon’s stomach doing a flip. He sits up straight, looking around to see if anyone had overheard them. “D-Don’t say that out loud!” He shushes the other boy.
“What? That you like Y/n-” One glare and Heeseung shuts up.
Sunghoon sighs, rubbing his face, now stressed out. “Sorry.” Heeseung mutters. “But can I say something? I know we aren’t close or anything,”
He peaks through his fingers, making eye contact with Heeseung’s big brown eyes. He can feel the sincerity through his gaze.
So he sits up again and nods, wondering what advice someone like Heeseung could ever give him.
Heeseung fiddles with his spoon, looking down at his tray. “I think you should try being more confident. You’ve got everything I’ve always wanted: you’re good-looking, humble, well-liked by everyone.”
“And I know you’ve been working hard on your social anxiety, but maybe you can show your newfound confidence by confessing your feelings to her. Why let yourself get in the way? You’ve gotten so far now, why not go a little further?”
Heeseung’s words click inside Sunghoon’s head. It’s true, he’s at an all-time high for the first time in his 17 years of living. He doesn’t know if he would have ever been able to conquer his fears without you.
Sunghoon has always sabotaged himself, continuously mentally feeding himself the worst case scenarios, but you showed him how to break those walls down. You’ve been happier than himself at his growth.
Even if it killed him, he needed to tell you.
Sunghoon suddenly stands up from his seat, scrambling out the table.
“Where are you going?!” Heeseung asks worriedly. But instead of answering, Sunghoon smiles fondly at his friend, running off. “Thanks Heeseung!” He shouts.
“Does this mean I can have the rest of your food?!” Heeseung calls out after him, only to get no answer.
And that’s how Sunghoon found himself running through the entire school, searching for you.
He’s gasping for air as he checks the time on his watch. He had 30 more minutes before lunch ended, yet you were nowhere to be found.
While he knew EN-High was a giant school, with many twists and turns in the hallways, he also knew you wouldn’t just drop face off the earth in the middle of the school day.
Winded, he lands in an empty hall, leaning against the wall as he catches his breath. Looking around, Sunghoon realizes he’s right by the old library, where you two held calligraphy club. There’s no way, right? He thinks as he quietly enters.
The tables are empty, the room feels stiff, as if no one was there but him. It reminds him of the day he discovered it, where you two had your first real conversation.
Silently Sunghoon walks around, his hopes of finding you falling. Though he knew he could just wait until later today, he felt as if he couldn’t keep this information to himself, and he swore to himself that he’d find the courage to confess-
Sunghoon stops in his step, head whipping around. He swore he heard a whisper. He stills, hoping to hear it again.
"...swhswhshwshwshwsh..."
There it was again! A whisper! Slowly Sunghoon makes his way down the aisles of books, getting closer and closer to the noise.
“-just say something. What’s the worst that can happen?” Sunghoon recognizes that voice, he peeks through a bookcase, and suddenly he connects the dots.
“I can’t, I couldn’t bear risking our friendship,” You sigh, looking distraught as you talk to your best friend Kai. The both of you are speaking low. Sunghoon tiptoes closer.
“Well sooner or later you’re going to have to say something,” Kai crosses his arms. You shake your head. “How can I?” You ask.
“Well you like him right? Don’t you think he deserves to know?”
Hold up. You like someone?!
The pep talk Heeseung had given Sunghoon earlier begins to turn into slush as he starts to worry. Who could you possibly have a crush on? He hoped it was him of course, but he could never be so sure-
“Yeah,” You hum. “But you know Taehyun’s-”
“Ignore it, just tell him.” Kai opposes, just as Sunghoon’s heart shatters into a million pieces. He was no longer listening to the conversation.
Taehyun was one of your best friends. Someone you’ve known for years and have done everything with. To top it off, you’ve been helping him more frequently for the elections, spending more time together. It made sense why you’d like him.
But no matter the truth, hearing it didn’t hurt any less, and Sunghoon had to refrain from bolting out of there and causing a scene.
Except he does. Because of his distress, he doesn’t realize he’s bumped into the bookshelf behind him, causing one of the novels to fall and land loudly on the ground.
The slam of the book hitting the carpet is loud inside the silent library. You and Kai have stopped your conversation, and Sunghoon is regretting that he hadn’t run out when he first thought of it.
Swiftly, you round the aisle, finding Sunghoon looking at you with wide eyes full of terror. “Sunghoon?!” You gasp, looking just as horrified.
Out of habit, he spins around, facing away from you as he mentally prays you don’t see him if he stands still.
“Sunghoon, I can still see you, you know?” You call him out. Fearing for his life, as well as trying to tame a broken heart, he rigidly turns back around to you. “Hi. Fancy seeing you here,” he waves like a robot.
Kai tries to hide a giggle, covering his mouth. “I’m gonna go, see you later Y/n,” He nudges past you, giving you a playful wink as he leaves.
You sigh, hiding your face as you mutter something to yourself.
“So I’m guessing you heard.” You finally say. Sunghoon feels his stomach drop as he nods.
Your cheeks are bright red, you can’t look at him. “I’m sor-
“No.” Sunghoon interrupts. You’re shocked, and so is he, but no matter what happens, he was going to tell you his feelings, even if you rejected him.
“I mean- Uh, Can I say something first?” He stumbles over his words, realizing he probably came off too strong. You nod slowly, brows furrowed.
Taking a deep breath, Sunghoon bites the inside of his gum.
“Y/n, do you remember the first time we had calligraphy club together? When we were walking home that day, that was the first time I’ve ever really looked at a girl and not felt scared. You smiled at me.” Sunghoon begins sloppily.
“I’m not really good at speaking, I’m better at writing, but I want to tell you how much you've helped me these past few months. I don’t even think I’d be able to talk to you right now if you hadn’t encouraged me. I’m really grateful for you.”
“I don’t know when I started to feel this way, but I do know one thing, I like you. More than a friend.” Sunghoon gulps as you gasp quietly.
“I like you so much, if it meant I’d have to sacrifice everything I’ve worked hard for to disappear just to be with you, I would do it. If I have to embarrass myself in front of our class again, I will. Heck, I’ll even fight Taehyun- I mean I know you have a crush on him and that he’s the captain of the boxing club, but I just like you so much I don’t mind getting my ass kicked for you.” He begins to ramble, not noticing your confusion.
“Wait,” You hold a hand up to stop him. “Say that last part again.”
Sunghoon freezes. “I like you so much I would push Jongseong in front of a bus if you told me to?”
“What? No! Before that!” You look at him bewildered.
“I’ll fight Taehyun for you because you like him?” He repeats and you suddenly slap your hand on your forehead.
“Sunghoon,” You grumble, approaching him. Even when you’re glaring up at him, you make his heart race. “I don’t like Taehyun.”
Sunghoon blanks.
“Huh?”
You sigh, again, and grimace. “I don’t like Taehyun. I like you, idiot.”
Now he’s really confused.
“But you and Kai were-”
“You obviously heard wrong. I thought you heard the whole thing, which is why I was freaking out because Kai was trying to convince me to confess to you.” You poke his chest with your index finger, looking away shyly.
“Him and Taehyun have been pushing me to say something for weeks.” You admit. “I’ve just been stalling since elections are so close.”
Wait. So you like him back?!!
Sunghoon is malfunctioning as you wait for him to speak.
“Hold on!” He suddenly yells, grabbing you by the shoulders. “Then why have you been ignoring me these past two weeks? You barely even talk to me!” He points out.
You blush again, scratching your head. “I-I wasn’t doing it on purpose,” You mumble.
“It’s just every time we try to talk, someone interrupts. It’s been getting annoying. Especially the other girls-” You suddenly stop talking, glaring at yourself. Sunghoon cracks.
“You’re jealous? That I’m getting attention from other girls? Oh this is gold, I never took you as the possessive type.” He chuckles. “No I’m not! Stop laughing!” You argue, though your red face proves you wrong.
As you try to make up some other reason why, Sunghoon can only smile. This is the you he likes, one so full of life and passion. You stop talking, words trailing off as you realize Sunghoon’s been watching you with a lovesick smile.
“D-Don’t look at me like that.” You turn away, but Sunghoon stops you, engulfing you in a hug. He feels you reciprocate, squeezing him tightly.
He can feel how fast your heart is beating. He wonders if you can feel his.
“Two months ago you would have rather eaten a bucket of bugs instead of hug me.” You mutter into his chest after a long silence.
“Way to ruin the mood.” He groans, cringing at his own past self (and how right you are). You two laugh, and as the bell rings, you both walk back to class together.
“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Sunghoon asks you, ears pink. “I would hope so.” You joke.
“Good, I’m telling everyone you’re my girlfriend now.” He grins to himself. “Well, as your girlfriend, I’d like it if you held my hand.” You tease.
“And as your boyfriend, I’d like for you to give me a minute, my palms are sweaty,” He wipes his hands on his pants as you laugh, before taking your hand in his.
The two of you don’t say anything more as you walk down the hall towards your shared classroom. Hands swaying together, Sunghoon only has one thing on his mind.
You two were a perfect match.
Bonus:
“Can you believe I’m the first person in my friend group to get a girlfriend?”
You look at your boyfriend, astonished. “Seriously? I swear I thought at least Jongseong had a girlfriend,” Sunghoon shrugs as you two walk home together.
It’s only been a few hours since he’s become your boyfriend but he couldn’t be happier. He loved holding your hand, it fits so snugly into his own. Knowing that you were all his, and he was all yours now was the best feeling in the world.
He hadn’t shut up about it since, and now the entire student body of EN-High knew you two were a couple.
(Sunghoon marched you two up to the front of the class and announced to everyone you were dating. He claims he did this so that the other girls wouldn’t approach him so much anymore so you wouldn’t have to be jealous, but a part of you suspects he just wanted to brag. Either way, you were embarrassed.)
“Hey,” You suddenly slow down. “What’s up?” He asks, looking at you concerned. You’re not paying attention to him, looking forward. “Uh, isn’t that Riki and Sunoo?” You point.
Sunghoon follows your view, and sure enough he finds himself with a front view of Sunoo beating the shit out of Riki.
“Y-You-Agk! You said you were going to pretend!” Riki whines as he lays on the street, shielding himself as Sunoo stomps on him.
“Gotta make it look believable!” Sunoo grins. Behind him, Riki C is recording while Riki A laughs.
“Should we stop them?” You ask, looking concerned. Sunghoon contemplates the idea, but in the end shakes his head.
“Nah, they’ve got it covered.” He steers you away, assuring you his friend will make it out healthy and alive.
“Come on, don't get distracted, we still have our first date to go on.”
Log 4: Monday - April 1st, 2024
I Can't, I Have Rehearsal masterlist | and scene! series masterlist | kpop masterlist
author's note: ahhhhh!!! finally finished with sunghoon's story! what did y'all think? i loved writing for him lol he's such a silly goofy guy stuck in a hot body. this entire plot was created based off that one scene in en-drama where he's like "girls never talk to me since I was young" lmaoo anyways thank you so much for reading and supporting! look forward to mr park jongseong's series next!!
#icihr#enhypen#enha#enhypen sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunghoon#sunghoon enhypen#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x you#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon x you#sunghoon x y/n#park sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enha x reader#enha comfort#enhypen imagines#enhypen crack#enha imagines#enha fluff#lee heeseung#park jongseong#sim jaeyun#enhypen jake#kim sunoo#yang jungwon
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
I always try to not be shy about the fact Pio does not pass as a man at all, and that he is in a situation where he cannot take the steps to do so (medically transitioning basically)— not just financially, but mentally too.
He hates his chest, his private parts and the fact they cause hin extreme dysphoria once a month from his period, his voice is audibly feminine, he even has very "soft feminine" features, he is often mistaken for a butch woman and misgendered a lot (he's also very anxious about correcting people, since he's afraid of how they'll react).
And I feel it's important from me to showcase these features, because they’re part of a realty many transmasc/guys/men like me go through.
The thing about Pio is that he has an extremely hard time believing he's a "real man". Almost everything in his life is an active reminder that society does not see him as a man, and he has internalised it. He is happy the people close to him (his father, Chris and his family) confirm they see him as a man, but he has a hard time genuinely believing they actually do, because he can't possibly say the same about himself.
He's on the verge of giving up sometimes, to detransition, to go back being [REDACTED] and be a woman again. He thinks it will make life easier. After all, it'll be easier to socialise, talk to people, and even find a partner. Pio is gay after all, but what gay man would love a "woman," right? Straight men must be his only option, right?
But it won't be easier, it will outright kill.
And this is why his relationship with Fellow is so crucial to him. For all his faults, the fox did one very important thing right in the relationship— love Pio for the man that he is.
Fellow didn't always have the right words, but he knew words weren't really gonna help such a dysphoric person like Pio. The constant and consistent love and support over time was what made Pio realise how genuine Fellow was with him.
Intimacy felt less uncomfortable, it actually became enjoyable. He could actually bare his features, even if a little. He actually grow to like his voice a little, even if he's fine with it changing. Everything just became a little easier when he was with Fellow, he could actually see himself as desirable, to an other queer man no less.
He began thinking that perhaps he is a man, regardless of everything. This reduction of his dysphoria was what made him more motivated to seek medical transition later one, as he finally could think to himself, "this isn't pointless." He realised nothing can stop him from being the man that he is.
Even after their falling out during their work in Playful Land, Pio still had this drive in him. He went back to his father and started working, slowly saving up to seek a way to get his hands on HRT. And although he has a long way to go, he is for once finally determined to do what he must do for his well being.
He kinda spiralled for a while because of the falling out. He even began relying on alcohol for a bit. But this new profound drive carried him every day and kept him alive.
So basically, as angry as he is with Fellow, he will always be grateful for all the genuine love and desire he was given. It, quite literally, saved his life.
So yeah ofc they make up in the end, what did you expect, to not give them a happy ending? Poser./j
@sunnysidesevenup @theolivetree123 tagging you two cuz...Pio Lore....heh....<3
tag list : @ramshacklerumble @thehollowwriter @summerspook @scint1llat3 @skriblee-ksk
@cyanide-latte @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @oya-oya-okay @viperbunnies @jadelover69
@twsted-void @lallopsyou (lmk/dm if you wanna be added)
#the ins and outs of the falling out and how they make up will be talked about some....other day...likely....#they're gay and a mess that's all you need to know/j#making Pio a trans man was extremely important to me for mutiple reasons#first of all it's a nice interpretation of the whole “real boy” thing from Pinocchio#but also because I am transmasc myself#my experience isn’t the same with Pio's#but a lot of his life was inspired by mine#from the way his dad reacted to the way his cis friend unconditionally tried to support him#it does feel like I'm looking at a mirror sometimes while thinking about him#part of me wishes to find a partner that has the love Fellow has for this man ngl LMAO#being trans is such a crucial part of his character and it low key makes me emotional sometimes#I think the “a self made man” phrase fits him a lot because he had to first realise and accept his gender internally#before he could take the steps to become that man externally#he's just. a very dear oc to me.#cw suicide#cw sui mention#<- didn’t outright said it but I think it was obvious#it is almost 1am my cramps won't let me be so I will instead talk about Pio's dysphoria as I'm feeling mine <3#pio occhibelli#twst oc#harry's writing#fools' play
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
2024 Recap: ✨A Summary✨
Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)
@troubled-mind and @my-rose-tinted-glasses brought this back, so here is mine! I can't believe some of this stuff happened this year, it feels like it's been 84 years.
January:
most popular - Deep character analysis of Phaya from The Sign
favorites - The birth of Japanese QL Corner, Breakdown of the Last Twilight finale (siiiigh), love for I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama and Gyeongseong Creature, and this list of some of my fav non-BL jdramas
I was a busy little bee in January! Not surprising, as I tend to hermit at home in the deep winter and do nothing but watch dramas and post too much. JQL Corner became my big project of the year, and I can't believe there wasn't a single week that I didn't have Japanese QL to talk about. I Became the Main and Gyeongseong were both surprise delights that ended up among my favs of the year. I’m still holding my LT grudge, in case anyone had any doubt.
February:
most popular - Praise for Dead Friend Forever's mystery arc
favorites - Appreciation for Love for Love's Sake's ending, every single LITBC book club post that I either wrote or read, my final review of Cooking Crush
The original run for the LITBC book club that @bengiyo and I led! What a great time reading a fantastic book, chatting with besties, and making new friends. I also stand by that praise for DFF's mystery arc--that was the strongest part of the show; the things I took issue with were elsewhere in the story. I have just been thinking I need to rewatch LFLS and this post reminds me why (I remember when it first ended me and @wen-kexing-apologist were like, we're going to watch it again immediately! And then realized we were in no way emotionally prepared for that LMAO). Cooking Crush remains a fav and I may or may not be rewatching right now.
March:
most popular and favorite- An actual love letter to TsukuTabe, my beloved
other favorites - Analysis of Unknown ep 6 aka The Turning Point and big love for Cherry Magic Thailand after the finale
Wow, three of my very favorite shows of the year all happening at once. What a blessed month this was. Also, this is not a specific post, but this is the month when I read Da Ge and then spent weeks with people coming into my DMs to get their own copy of the translation, which was a top fandom experience for me because I met a bunch of new people, some of whom stuck around to talk about Unknown, and it made me feel like an illicit dealer which was very fun.
April:
most popular - The boopening
favorites- A breakdown of the pseudo-incest trope and this list of my favorite friends to lovers dramas
The boopening was a once in a lifetime whimsical tumblr event, and I am so glad I was able to participate fully. I also really like these other two because I feel strongly that all tropes have their place and can be enjoyed when executed well and I love talking about that.
May:
most popular - Love for Oyei and Cher from Wandee Goodday
favorites - Trans Allegory in Cupid's Last Wish, co-authored with @wen-kexing-apologist and @so-much-yet-to-learn and this cdrama rec list.
I spent much of May watching and posting about shows I did not end up liking much in the end, but that is also the month I finally watched CLW with my friends and enjoyed it more than expected, in part because WKA had us watch it through the lens of trans allegory, which totally worked.
June:
most popular - Class disparity themes in Love Sea
favorites - 10 Things I Love About Triage, celebrating Thai marriage equality with @my-rose-tinted-glasses, praise for Marahuyo Project
What a fun Pride month with the start of Love Sea, Knock Knock Boys, Marahuyo Project, The Trainee, and me finally watching Triage.
July:
most popular - Teaching the youths about face fucking and power dynamics in Love Sea
favorites - 10 Things I Love About Oppan and The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays with @twig-tea
More great shows. I'm so glad me and Twig ignored the rumors and watched Teddy Bear because it's one of my favorite Thai dramas of all time.
August:
most popular - Cheering on the defeat of noble idiocy in Love Sea
favorites - Praise for Knock Knock Boys and this spicy JBL rec list and this other quality JBL rec list and calling out weird fandom attitudes about JBL
Another good month, and the busiest by far for QL Corner. There were so many JQLs airing this summer! What a time to be alive.
September:
most popular - Documenting Wang's behavior in The On1y One
favorites - 10 Things I Love About Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding, clocking Doku Koi as a fav early, this high school bl rec list and this BL romance rec list
I'm filled with so much bitterness reading that Wang/Tian post. I'll be taking this grudge to the grave!
October:
most popular - Moar boops
favorites - Analyzing Dohoe in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo and celebrating the first two episodes of Love in the Big City and the creation of the LITBC Drama Book Club Round Up
Two moody Korean shows with complicated gay leads dropped in my birthday month, the book club band was back together, and I got to do Halloween themed boops. I WAS THRIVING IN OCTOBER.
November:
most popular - On fandom as a life saving force
favorites - This list of some of my trash favs for @happypotato48 and getting my feelings out on Young and Gyuho and Hirukawa and Minase and final thoughts on the LITBC drama
I was having a lot of feelings in November.
December:
most popular - Democracy in Squid Game 2
favourite - QL superlatives and grievances, this round up of my fav dramas of the year and being so very normal about Hirukawa
This write up really helped me appreciate that I had good stuff to watch and write about every month this year. There were some disappointments, but also a lot of shows I really loved and it was fun to remember some of the things I wrote. Also, i got to make so many fun rec lists! If you were tagged here, or if you just see this and want to join in, consider yourself invited to do your own!
You can go here to find your top 10 posts of each month.
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sho frowned as he watched Leo tap furiously at his screen.
"Dude....eat your fuckin food." The plate of ultra-hot chili ramen was getting cold in the table.
"Yeah, whatever." Leo rolled his eyes and huffed, sending his tweet and then slapping his phone down. He ate angrily while Sho regarded him with a rasied eyebrow.
"The fucks wrong with you?"
Leo looked at Sho with annoyance and slurped his noodles.
"That NPC is the problem. Ever since I made that post calling them my girlfriend, followers have been bitching."
"Isnt that what you wanted? A few days ago you were laughing about it." Sho starts cleaning after confirming that the dish meets Leos impractical level of spice.
"It -was- funny but now it's just annoying. Everyone keeps calling them a Basic Bitch or an NPC, its every other comment. So unoriginal."
"That's what you call the honor student all the tim-"
"And when it's not regurgitating the same stupid one-liner, it's moaning about how someone else would be such a better fit."
Leo steamrolled Sho's comment and then picked up his phone with a scoff.
"See? Listen to this, "She is too boring for you Leo, you would be such a better match with Anastasia" as if that Kardashian copying nepobaby is half as interesting." Leo reads the text aloud before scooping more noodles into his mouth.
"Is that the blogger that keeps getting a new baby animal every few years?" Sho puts his freshly cleaned knives onto the magnetic board you talked him into getting to save on space.
"Yeah, she keeps hopping on trends. She ditched the Italian Greyhound and got a micro husky- whatever the fuck that is." Leo slathers a piece of his pork belly in sriracha before popping it into his mouth.
A new voice joins the discussion as you pass by Leos table.
"That sounds unethical. Hey Sho I know it's late, do you have anything you could whip up for me?" You peer up at Sho as you lean against the truck. The dark circles under your eyes and your unkempt hair say enough- you just got back from another mission.
"Hm...sure I think I have something I can whip together. But dont get mad at me if it doesnt turn out." Sho easily relents and begins rummaging through his fridge.
"Youre cooking is always good, thats why I can never get mad at anything you do." You tease back- it was no secret that food was the way to your heart. You had a wealth of patience for anyone who offered you snacks.
Leo grew tired of listening and scoffed.
"Did you get so tired of flirting with that musclehead so you had to move onto a guy in love with his motorcycle?"
"Shut up man." Sho responds automatically. You sit down across from Leo.
"I also love Bonnie." You say matter-of-facrly while resting your head on your arms.
"Gross." Leo rolls his eyes and aims his phone at you. He takes a couple pictures, decides on one that is decidedly your worst angle in the worst lighting. His snickering makes you open your eyes.
"What did you do?" You are annoyed when you speak to him and lacking the familiarity that you hold for Sho.
"Just want the internet to know my relationship with my girlfriend is going well." Leo shows you his recent post with a sly grin.
Having learned better, and too tired to care, you dont bother reading it and once again shut your eyes.
"As long as you arent trying to extort Tohma-senpai again." You sigh.
From inside the truck while he heats up your food, Sho opens his phone to view the post.
Your picture is editted with several heart emoties with a caption reading "Best Girlfriend Ever<3 She ordered 23,456 yen worth of food but forgot her wallet, shes so silly!" The comments are already scalding as they tear into your character. Sho peeks out to see Leo smugly scrolling through the comments before he reaches out and pats your hair.
"Ah, NPC-chan youre such good rage bait~" he coos.
"Youre welcome." You sigh out. Sho snorts as he brings you a bowl of ramen. In a short amount of time you had adjusted to Leo miraculously. Typically this unbothered attitude would bother the chic influencer but without realizing it he had become endeared to your attitude. The two sat with you and chatted as you ate your food. Sho eventually kicking Leo when he tried to get a picture of you eating.
edit: part 2
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
This but reader had been put on a different team…https://www.tumblr.com/justkitkatthings/768357089618903040/i-know-this-isnt-possible-but-just-hear-me-out-a
have a great day or night! 💋
I have several thoughts…
Thank you for being my first anon and ilysm
You’re a genius
I’m so so so so very sorry I took so long to answer this! I really wanted to get this done sooner but I’ve had serious writers block (or laziness idk) and just a bunch of personal shit going on, so getting this done is like a belated Christmas/new year’s/birthday present to myself
I can’t promise this’ll be as good as this was, I feel like I used all my good writing abilities up on that haha
Have a great day or night to you too 🩷
———
After losing your leg, you never thought you’d work for anything military affiliated again. Okay, well, maybe as a civilian admin person, but never in the field. But, with a LOT of physical therapy… and mental therapy… and retail therapy… it was like you were as good as new!
So, when Laswell called, you answered. There was an opening in a new Task Force, and they wanted you. You haven’t felt this way since… well, since John, Kyle, and Johnny. But now, they dint have to consume your every living thought. You can begin again.
It wasn’t long before you were on a new base, in a new country, with a new team.
They were all extremely welcoming, albeit different. You had to get used to the change in personalities and strategies, but it was refreshing to get new perspectives on things.
Months of training and bonding with your new team go by, and less contact with the 141. You’ve by no means forgot about them, but you don’t think about them as much anymore. You’re happy, and they need to respect that.
But when have those boys ever been good at leaving you alone? Never. Which is how you end up here, staring them down as your new Captain greets John, the Captain of the team you’ll be working alongside for the next however long.
You can’t stand this. Why couldn’t they just let you have one thing for yourself for ONCE?
The best way to handle this, you decided, was to not. Avoiding them was simple and easy, so you did it.
On the occasions you couldn’t avoid them, like missions, all your interactions were short and professional. There was no hint of the connection you had all shared.
The lieutenant who replaced you was big and stoic, but his was also a dumbass. Sure, it was an improvement in physical strength (which you were definitely NOT jealous of), but it was a loss in stealth and just common fucking sense.
Like, how can this man look you in the eyes and not realize you were his predecessor that the team still talked about? You hate him and his big muscles. Those very same muscles that eventually saved you from losing your other leg.
At first, you were pissed when he pinned you. But then the explosion happened.
There was a loud, obnoxious ringing in your ears, but at least you weren’t passed out, unlike the big oaf on top of you.
John helped pull him off of you and waited with you both until medevac came. Every protest from you was countered by your old Captain. He just wants you to be alright, luvie, relax.
Reluctantly, you did, enough to fall asleep. The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was the blinding white lights of the hospital. When that faded, you saw John and your new Captain whispering to each other in the corner of the room, sending worried glances… past you? You weakly turned your head to look, and it was Simon, covered in bandages.
#I’m scared of dialogue#I promise there’ll be some next time#sorry for the cliffhanger#posting this before I get on a plane so I don’t have to watch my failure 😔#simon ghost riley x reader#john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#cod#tf 141 x reader#poly 141 x reader
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Theory on Caleb and MC’s dynamics —
Now that our beloved Pilot is back from the dead with a new preview I have several theories regarding his and MC’s past involving Ever
(I’m also back with theorizing this year now that we’re finally getting main story progression and updates!)
All theories under cut! 🦾
What struck me the most about the preview was the line “They are the optimal weapon for destroying one another.”
Alongside the information we got that Caleb’s EVOL is classified as gravitational combat.
We already know that Grandma was a former researcher for EVER that adopted both Caleb and MC after the experimentations done to them. Whether it was green lighted by EVER or not is not entirely sure yet but we could infer that EVER didn’t mind so long as MC was with Caleb and Grandma (more so Caleb). Why?
I think Caleb was sculpted by EVER to be MC’s demise if her EVOL goes out of control. He was made as a Plan B if their efforts to suppress her EVOL did not work.
MC is essentially carrying the power of a planet’s core inside of her (re: see Xavier’s myth regarding MC and her role in saving Philos). EVER wanted to make sure that if things ever go south they would have an asset behind them that could take out the threat.
And the closest asset they have to her is Caleb himself. Too much gravitational pull could make a planet collapse in on itself. MC’s Anhaunsen Class EVOL could be the push that Caleb’s EVOL needs to trigger that. Except he doesn’t want to kill MC, he’s grown to attached to her and have been keeping her in the dark when it comes to his space missions as a feeble attempt to save her.
EVER has had their eyes on MC since she was a child, but she didn’t became a liability until the supposed guardians the company assigned to her mysteriously died. But we now know that Caleb isn’t actually dead.
Of course, it only makes sense that EVER is going to save him. He’s their only weapon against MC should she decide to awake her full power and wage a war against them. Caleb is the only LI linking them to her because all the other LI’s have grudges against EVER.
Case in point:
- Xavier doesn’t trust Ever for experimenting on Wanderers. It’s also been suggested that former backtrackers who formed a grudge against their prince for ‘abandoning them’ has made it known that they’re also out of MC and possibly even started working with the company to annihilate her.
- Zayne doesn’t trust Ever for their involvement in practicing dubious medicine involving protocores. One of his specialties as a doctor is dealing with symptoms of protocore syndrome and from his branch we were able to see just how much distrust and disdain he has for these people.
- Rafayel’s involvement is hazy but possible that he has some inkling of a doubt about the experiments Ever has been doing behind closed doors. He’s a possible asset to them after all if they get him. Former God of the Sea and one of the few remaining Lemurians alive today. We also know he made a deal with a representative of Ever during the auctions so there’s no doubt he actually knows their shady business on the side.
But this is where it gets interesting for me!
Sylus has direct contact with Ever in the N109 Zone and he has all the reason to involve himself in their business after they involved him in theirs. We know Sylus was gone for an unnamed amount of time and within that timespan the two explosions had happened. They pinned it on Onychinus afterwards to take advantage of Sylus’ missing status.
It also just make sense that once he got a wind of it, he’s going to investigate what really happened. Sherman was most likely bought off by Ever to do their dirty work in the N109 Zone and possibly to kidnap MC once they got wind that she’ll be at the auction. I feel like through those series of events Sylus was able to find out that Caleb was in fact still alive and has been tasked to get MC back to Ever’s hands.
Alas! These are all merely theories. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts. I’m so excited for the Main Story Update more than anything.
#love and deepspace#l&ds#lads#lnd#lnds#caleb#love and deepspace caleb#xavier#zayne#rafayel#sylus#ridox thoughts
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
@pokeask-magi-retreat
*The Goomy approached the Magi, looking up at them with some awe. He'd seen a lot of wonderful things in his time but this just had a certain magical nature about it he couldn't quite take his eyes off of.*
*He kept looking up at them before remembering why he came to them. His demeanor changed to that of a more serious one.*
"Oh yeah, the reason why I'm here. Ha, almost forgot. I, erm, need some advice. It's a rather complicated situation and I just want another's opinion on it. I know, probably weird for someone with my experience to need advice."
*Slime Boi shifted in place. Was he going to sound like a bad Pokémon? What would these creatures think of him?*
"There is someone who I once called my family who did something truly awful a long time ago. I've not forgiven him for it. I don't think I ever could. Recently, he's been causing immense suffering to his kids. I guess they're not kids but they're still incredibly young. I want to intervene but they don't remember me. He is to blame. If I come in to try and save the day, they'll just push me away. One of them has already been brainwashed enough to follow his father's every move."
...
"Oh right. You folks need a gift. Gotta give something good."
Slime Boi drew a circle in the air using a formed hand. Where he had drawn glowed a soft, golden light. When the circle had connected together, a swirling, glittery portal appeared, a warm energy radiating from it. Slime Boi reached in, rummaging around to find what he was looking for, making a small, "Aha!" when he found the items. Pulling his arm out, his hand held three necklaces. These all had a golden chain, dappled with tiny flecks of silver and a stone hung on the end. The stones were all round in shape, however the colours appeared to shift and change in hue, going from the deepest blues to delicate purples. Like a galaxy trapped in a single place. The stones were also freckled with tiny white dots, seeming to glow faintly in the dark of the night.
"Though, if you look real carefully, you'll see that the white spots are a completely different pattern in each one. Rad, right?"
*Slime Boi pointed to one of the stones in particular, drawing out a shape, which looked a bit like a mew's face, using the star-like flecks. White lines briefly flashed the image drawn, making it clearer to see.*
"This particular constellation here is known as the bringer of joy. When early Pokémon were first identifying constellations, they used their interpretations of what they thought legendary and mythical Pokémon look like to figure out what they should be. They also named them after what each deity represented to them. There's a whole bunch of constellations in these with a wide range of god-like Pokémon."
*He held them out to the Magi.*
"Of course, if that isn't what you're feeling, I can go get something else. No trouble for me."
#pokeaskmagiretreat25#ask blog#askblog#goomy#pokeask#pokemon#pokemon ask blog#pokemon askblog#pokemon oc#pokémon#pokémon askblog#pokémon ask blog
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
VERY WELL SAID OP!!! Also to add, I've recently just finished rewatching season 1 and one thing that I also wanna add is that InHo is also greatly influenced by the games philosophy of "having equal chances for everyone."
(apologies for the badly cropped image!)
InHo, who was once an officer, was falsely accused of taking bribe from a criminal resulting to him entering the games in 2015 for his wife and unborn child. He saw the game as one last shot at life (a common feeling the players have when entering the game—even Gi Hun entered the game again for his mother).
In-Ho had seen the worst of the games and had also seen how people kill and deceive each other for money. And how the VIP's also sees the lowest of the low as some worthless betting horses to gamble for and get entertainment.
I just know he is disgusted by all these things, coming out as a player himself and as a former purveyor of justice.
So yeah OP, i agree that InHo never enjoyed watching or even handling the games. I bet he's just doing it cause he believes he's got nothing anymore. Or maybe the guilt is eating at him everytime he goes home to meet Jun-Ho and their mother so he stopped coming home altogether during 2020 (Ironically Gi-Hun's game).
I feel like it was guilt and fear of facing Jun-Ho and letting him know what evil things he did in the games is the reason why In-Ho came back and became the frontman. Or maybe he came back a regular pink guard and climbed his way up in the ranks (I wouldn't put it pass him) all because he thinks humanity is dead (his humanity is dead).
BUT IF THIS IS THE CASE, then the way he's obsessed with giving these "scums" the last "shot" at life clashes with his disgust in humanity right??
Comes in the hope, this secret hope he still cherishes inside his shredded yet fully locked heart that maybe humans aren't so far gone yet.
That maybe if we keep on giving equal chances to everyone, someone out there would show that the human heart is not only made to deceive and hurt and be evil.
Then come Gi Hun who was one step away from winning yet he came back to give up the game to save him and Sang Woo.
That caught his attention.
All his life he's known cruelty (even as an officer) to being the frontman and come this guy with all smiles and naivety and hope and kindness cause i juuust know In-Ho was intrigued when player 456 chose player 001 despite being an old man during the marbles game not even knowing what the game will be.
This man is full of love. And In-Ho knew it when Gi-Hun picked up Sabyeok's brother is okay and ensured that he and Sang-woo's mother are all financially and emotionally okay.
I bet In-Ho was feeling frustrated when Gi-Hun dialled their number and told he's gonna track him down not just because he'll be a threat but because he knows Gi-Hun is throwing out the chance to heal and be happy the way In-Ho was too cowardly to do to his brother and mother.
Gi-Hun will regret coming back the way In-Ho regretted saying yes to being the frontman.
Now, even joining the games, he got to know Gi-Hun more and not just from pictures and reports. But he gets to know him personally and In-Ho sees that as much as they're alike they're different.
They're different cause he thinks Gi-Hun is still naive for seeing the world in black and white but In-Ho sees the gray areas and some people does use the money for good.
They're alike cause this shows that deep down, In-Ho believes that greed for money is not the only thing keeping this people fighting and hoping the same way Gi-Hun believes that greed for money can be overcome by standing over on what's right and fighting for human lives and hoping in humanity's innate goodness.
Even Lee Byung-Hun said that unknowingly In-Ho might be rooting for Gi-Hun's belief to be right over his own.
Not because he's entirely wrong but Gi-Hun's belief leads to a hope he had lost when his wife and child died. When all he sees are cruelty atop cruelty (and even most of them because of his doing) and he's just numbed and he wants to care for Jun-Ho but can't and will never be able to come back.
And that's why In-Ho is a selfish coward 'cause he wants Gi-Hun to be right but he's scared that maybe, that the hope Gi-Hun brings, is only temporary.
That Gi-Hun will become like the people he despised the most.
That Gi-Hun will eventually become a monster like himself.
So he crushes everything that Gi-Hun cares about. He kills Jung-bae. He kills "Young-Il." He was already trying to nip the bud of hope in his chest cause he's scared to be proven wrong and be all broken all over again when he had already developed this numb, indifferent mask over the course of the years.
Cause if Gi-Hun gives up, then he can give up into the delusions of second chances as well.
If I say that I'm not used to people misinterpreting my favorite characters, I'd be lying. But the way they get so many things wrong about Inho's character is kinda pissing me off because you KNOW that most of them do it to cancel out the possibility of InHun being *something* more than what's shown so far. You don't ship them, that's fair, frankly I don't care. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion UNTIL your opinion is wrong.
Let's talk about a couple of things I've seen being talked about on tiktok (🙄)
“Inho joined the games because ilnam said that it'd basically be more fun to play than to watch so he followed his example." loud incorrect buzzer ! Inho has joined the games before, and not only that, he's also a previous winner, so therefore he's very much aware of what it's like to be a part of it, he's experienced them first hand, just like he's experienced the atrocities of it. they've changed him for the worst and possibly caused him a huge trauma —they're the reason he's lost faith in humanity after all— so, why would he crave to relive it just for the thrill of it? i, personally doubt he even enjoys watching the game.
“Inho didn't look at Gihun with love, he likes to watch him suffer” Short answer is no. He doesn't like to watch him suffer, neither he looked at him with love, not the pure kind of love at least. Two things can be true at once. Inho spent half the season staring at Gihun because everything about the man intrigued him; His determination, his stubbornness, his kindness, his hope, his heart that's full of love despite the pain he suffered, even the pain in his eyes every time someone got eliminated in front of him as if it was the first time it had happened, as if the cruelty of it all surprised him every damn time. How can someone, who's been through the same things Inho has been through, be the polar opposite of him?
now, the reason(s) that I think Inho actually joined the games for..
(yes I am an Inhun shipper, does that make my opinion a little biased? maybe. do i still believe I'm right? absofuckinglutely.)
Let me clarify this: Inho is NOT a good man, no matter the redemption arc he might get in s3, he'll continue to be a terrible person because nothing will ever erase the blood he's spilled and the evil men he's worked for. BUT at the same time, he's not ALL bad, not like the VIPS and ilnam. See, Inhun are the average "yin-yang" trope in fictional romance, (which I eat up every time and I find it very interesting when it's done the right way, don't get me wrong) Inho is bad but there's some goodness somewhere deep inside him. And the only person who's brought it to the surface is Gihun. Sure, he does think Gihun is naive, but he's also the only person who's actually challenged him, who's "forced" him to get his stupid head out of the dirt and look around him, even for a short while and Inho definitely liked what he saw. Honestly, it wasn't even that hard for Gihun to do so because the goodness in Inho wanted and waited for someone to pull him out of the dirt, he wished for someone, something to give him hope for humanity or.. anything. Anything that'll help him escape from his misery.
You can definitely argue that he joined the games to befriend Gihun, to gain his trust and stop his plans when the time comes, which is half true. But keep in mind that he needed to justify his choice to join the games. He's not a VIP nor the mastermind to simply get to do that without consequences. He's the frontman, the one who controls and manages everything. He's needed for the games to work and go by smoothly and successfully without unnecessary losses and problems. Gihun would only cause problems, Inho knew that very well and yet he chose to put him in it once again. He recklessly made that choice, risking pretty much everything because of his inner conflict. A part of him wanted Gihun to prove himself to him, that there's indeed good that'll save the world and the rest of him wanted to prove to Gihun that everything he so strongly believes in is merely a fantasy.
Joining the games and befriending Gihun was the only way for Inho to see the real him, without the heroic mask he puts on every time he faces the frontman. I think he believed that someone as extraordinary as Gihun will either break in front of him and he will end up disappointed by the human kind once again, or Gihun will change everything about the way he thinks for the better. But the problem is that Inho hopes for both of those things at the same time.
And that was Inho's arc in season 2. His inner conflict and how it will affect him, the game and Gihun later on.
#squid game#squid game 2#inhun#457#hwang in ho#seong gi hun#001 x 456#I'VE YAPPED A LOT#BUT ALSO I LOVE INHUN ESPECIALLY THE WAY IT INFLUENCES IN-HO'S CHARACTER#I COULD TALK ABT THEM ALL DAY#ALSO OP AMAZING ANALYSIS
325 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ozma was trans, Salem somehow didn't pick up on this for centuries.
Ozma ran his hands over the wrappings on his chest and slipped a couple fingers in between the cloth to make sure they werent too tight. Once he was satisfied, he finished getting dressed in his tunic and armor to ready himself for the day. Just as he finished, there was a knock on his door.
“Are you finished?” Salem asked.
“Just about!” Ozma answered as he checked over his armor once more to make sure everything was set. He smiled at his reflection and went to answer the door. “There, ready.”
“I dont see why you have to spend so much time getting ready when we’re just going to the market.”
“I’m a warrior of the king,” Ozma answered as he walked out of his room and grabbed his staff. “I have to look my best at all times.”
“Why not just wear simpler clothes?” Salem asked as she took his hand. “It’d be quicker to just wear the tunic.”
Ozma shrugged and continued to walk with Salem out of their cottage and towards the village they lived near. “I like the armor. It makes me feel like… me.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Its okay you dont.”
Salem smiled a bit. “Then lets find a few tunics that’ll make you feel like you.”
Ozma paused for a moment and pulled out his coin pouch, quietly counting the coins as he moved his fingers through them. “I have some medicine that I need to get first. My chest has been aching again.”
“In that case, I’ll let you get what you need and then you have to meet up with me to get a new tunic.” Salem gently hugged his arm. “And maybe I can help you change too. We’ve been together long enough, its about time that I do get to see you like you’ve seen me.”
“And you will, I promise.” Ozma kissed Salem’s cheek and smiled at her. “Just a little longer.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Salem sighed as she came across the small cottage that she and Ozma had lived in centuries ago. The frames had nearly rotted away, the magic used to keep it sturdy finally starting to fade. Still, she wandered through the cottage, her heart aching at the memories that flooded back. She remembered the way he’d hold her when she was pained or tired, the meals they shared, the life that was almost there’s before Ozma was taken so young.
She made her way into Ozma’s study and looked around for anything that she could take to keep Ozma close to her. As she opened the door, she paused when she saw a journal sitting on a desk, one that she’d never seen before. She picked it up and started to flip through the page until she stopped at one of the last entries.
I can finally afford the last treatment I need for my transition. After today, no more bindings and I can finally be with Salem the way she wants me to. Though part of me still worries about if she were to find out. Will this change anything between us or will she still see me as the same Ozma she’s known? I still have a long life ahead of me, so I can tell her when I’m ready. Until then, I just want to be the man I know I am.*
Salem stared at the page, almost in shock with what she’d read. She flipped through earlier entries, her fingers shaking as she stopped to read a few.
For years I have felt more like a man than I ever did as a woman. Today, I finally cut my hair and dressed like a man. I also found rumors of magic that can help be the man I wish to be. So I’ll be leaving home soon.
*Its been a few years since my last entry and I’m no closer to finding this magic that I need. But I did get a message from a woman who was locked away in a tower. It may not be what I”m looking for, but I have to do something to help. Even if it means that I might be killed.*
Ever since I’ve saved Salem, I’ve started to fall for her a little more every day. But now I’m worried about her finding out what I’m hiding from her. She saw my chest wrappings and I lied about what they were for. But, it shouldnt be much longer now. I finally found someone who can help transition. A potion maker in town. There’s a few ingredients I’m going to need to find for him, but in the next year, I’ll finally be a man I… that Salem sees me as. I want nothing more than for her to have a happy life with me.
Salem turned another page, her fingers trembling as the page started to crumble away. She had never known that side of Ozma, just the man she’d met and fell in love with. And now, the last connection she had of him was starting to fall apart in her hands. She finally closed the book and tucked it away in a satchel and made her way out of the cottage. If there was a magic that could make Ozma into who he was, then she was sure there was still a magic out there that could bring him back.
She’d do anything to have the man she knew back. Even if he held a secret from her.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing that sets apart hua cheng from most other devotee/worshipper-type relationships in other media is that hua cheng would actually throw himself on his knees and crawl across the floor if xie lian wanted to, he would demean himself without shame because shame comes from the perception that you have done something wrong or foolish in another's eyes, and hua cheng would never see his god's will as either, nor care for anyone's else's opinion
#i was so happy when i read tgcf because this is what i mean when i want hopelessly devoted love interests#too many of these (dark) fantasy male love interests dont even treat her with basic respect#like what do you MEAN they drag her around and demean her#theyre often assholes at best and abusers at worst#there is no devotion or worshipping to be found#''he would kill for her'' but would he make peace with his enemies for her?? would he SAVE his enemies for her??#hua cheng would#hua cheng also wouldnt dream of ordering xie lian around#he told xie lian once not to get involved with the wind and water master but when xie lian did that anyone#all he said was ''thats okay baby i told you before: just do what you want to do ill be here for you either way<3''#he only intervenes more forcefully for xie lian's protection and he clearly HATES doing that#sorry for the vent but im tired of seeing the worshipper trope done so badly!!#where are the statues!! the murals!! the devouring need to be with them!! why arent these men on their knees!!!#hua cheng#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#xie lian#hualian
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
"IDW Megatron got a redemption arc and Starscream didn't it's so unfair--"
Do not slander Metalhawk, Bumblebee, and Windblade's hard work trying to fix this man they didn't work for half the continuity (and in 2/3 of their cases) literally die and come back as zombies/ghosts for y'all to be out there saying no one helped Starscream get redeemed and have friends and be a better person
#squiggposting#i'm so fucking confused why people keep saying this honestly#'M got a redemption so why can't SS' HE LITERALLY DID LIKE HE LITERALLY DID#this was the subject of most of his character development in exrid/op and wb/taao did you just not see it?#i don't get it bc like. even if you try to argue that M got to have friends and validation and shit. so did SS#SS lost his power and then died saving the world at the end#M also lost all his power and prestige and then went to his execution at the end#STRICTLY IN TERMS OF IDW1 they literally both got redeemed idk why ppl are piss fighting about this#and i would expect ppl who are SS fans to like. BE AWARE OF all the story content he got in idw1#mscott clearly liked SS based on how she made him so sympathetic (even dealing with his M related trauma!)#barber said via word of god once that SS is his favorite decepticon#you literally can't even claim that the writers were just biased against him#i dont get it. like of all ppl to know all of SS's lore i would expect SS fans to be the one to know it#is it bc their hateboner for mscott and non-reading of barber is just that strong? i dont get it
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Credit to: @mappingthexfiles)
Heavily disagree with this take, but I've been weighing how to respond because I don't want to seem like a jerk or a contrarian. That's not my intention, at all.
Mulder didn't choose Diana over Scully in The End-- and Scully knows this.
In The End, she sees her partner and Diana holding hands and immediately feels inadequate, caught in her ever-spiraling inability to snap Mulder from his depressive Season 5 state; and interprets this moment as Mulder blooming into his full potential, once again. She's the scientist, Diana's the para scientist. She's the new recruit, Diana discovered the files. She's Mulder's partner, but Diana was more than his partner. Both histories lasted five years; and now Diana's back.
Further, Mulder chooses Scully before their office burns; and Scully knows this. They are huddled in his apartment when Scully receives the call about Diana's health. She relays this to Mulder, who is subdued and discouraged-- his friend was almost killed following his crazy quest-- but Mulder doesn't run to the hospital, doesn't wait outside of surgery, doesn't sit at Diana's bedside after Diana (I.e. One Breath and Wetwired and Redux II.)
Again, I stress: Scully knows this. How do we know? Fight the Future: Mulder stays by her (and she by his) after they're put on regular FBI duties. He works cases with her, two rebels breaking off to find a bomb together. They find one, definitely; but again, the Bureau blames Mulder. And this is how we know Scully knows Mulder picked her: she feels she-- not his loyalty, not his friendship with Diana-- failed him. She takes the blame in OPR, she prepares to walk away from him, she's seduced to follow him to Texas (all for naught), and she must break away, once and for all, for his own good.
Mulder tells her blatantly in his apartment, "I need you on this, Scully." She knows he does-- but it's not enough to overcome her depressive self-doubt. She thinks she slowly ruined his work, his answers, his ability to thrive and move towards the truth faster. The tragedy of Fight the Future is that she believes her efforts to heal Mulder have effectively poisoned him, not that he no longer trusts or wants her.
"You never needed me, Mulder. I just held you back." That is what Scully thinks of herself. Those are her doubts-- her Starbuckian complex that questions and second-guesses all of her life choices separate from Mulder. The voice she misinterprets constantly until all things, and the one she attributes to "other fathers" and lashes out against or crumbles under. She knows Mulder chose her; but she feels inadequate-- the blind leading the blind. He trusts her, but she's failed them, failed him.
And that's why his confession is so potent: "But you saved me!" Not Diana, not her strict rationalism, not her methods and successes and failures; SHE saved him. He didn't choose her and lose-- he chose her and she SAVED him.
This leads to her determination at the close of the movie: holding onto his arm and insisting they move forward, together. Mulder is afraid to lose her, but he also doesn't want her to die; and she assures him now she understands his withdrawal-- the fear that he's corrupting her, a mirror of her fear (that she's stymying him.) If they both quit now, They win.
Well then... what happened in The Beginning?
In The Beginning, Mulder outright rejects Scully's scientific approach, leading her to believe he rates Diana's answers above her own. ...But that's not wholly true: Scully rejected Mulder's version of events first-- in front of OPR when he was trying to win the files back-- and her own muddled memories, because the science didn't add up. At the end of the episode, her science was right and wrong; and she tests Mulder, asking him to trust her. He knows what he saw, and rejects her answers if they don't align with his. The truth is, her answers did and didn't match his-- and both leave the matter unanswered between them. Both were wrong-- Scully for falling back onto "easy" science instead of standing by his and her testimony and he for assuming she was willing to sweep their experiences completely aside if it didn't fit her narrow world view. And both realized they were wrong and left the matter at a stalemate: neither was in the right, but neither wanted to communicate and work the issue out further; so, they wordlessly moved forward.
And that brings me to my other important point: Season 6 was not melancholic; it was not angsty; it was not burdened or weighed down or even depressed. Not only did the writers decide to lean into lighter, funner, more interesting storylines after the move to California, but Season 6, even separate from that context, was a breather for both agents. Yes, they were not on the files; yes, they yearned for better, more fulfilling work; yes, the aftermath of Fight the Future haunted their steps. Yet, both took these factors in stride. Yes, Mulder kept running off to dangerous deeds; yes, Scully kept running after him to clean up his messes; but both were glad-- glad to still be working together, glad to share a mutual frustration over their circumstances, glad Kersh hadn't split them apart. Each episode features moments where they are cheerful, vulnerable, humorous, openly yearning, and more emotionally in-tune with each other. And both know the state of their relationship: where it is, and where it is (or isn't) going. The frustration both feel in their current circumstances are dwarfed by the new footing both are navigating separately and together-- they both want this new space, this new flirtation with more (with danger).
In Drive, Scully puts up a front but is easily wheedled into going off-road for a case. She trusts Mulder implicitly, and knows Mulder trusts her to rescue him and get to the truth. No words are exchanged about that trust, but it's there. In Triangle, Mulder ran ahead because the case was time-sensitive, but he still trusted (and tried to protect) alternate universe Scully. Scully , meanwhile, knew he needed her help; and shook the FBI apart until she got her necessary details. In closing, she bantered and soothed and ordered and "oh, brother"ed because Mulder was stoned out of his head (or so she assumed.) She didn't brush aside his "I love you" because she didn't believe it, she brushed it aside because he wasn't in a proper frame of mind to discuss it with her-- in short, she knew Mulder loved her since his hallway; and she knows Mulder doesn't shake feelings away or off lightly. In Dreamland I and II, she hops in the car to Area 51 all while probing him about what he wants out of a normal life-- a house? kids? a dog?-- and rolls her eyes, amused and resigned, at his single-minded "this is a life." She is shaken when 'Mulder' (read: Morris) doesn't respect her or her opinions: and that is huge, because it shows she still believes (and trusts) that Mulder holds her thoughts in high regard-- that he respects (and loves) her. Her instincts about her partner lead her to discover Morris's ruse and attempt to save Mulder: she has to take his stance, for once-- the believer-- and use her science-- the skeptic-- to save him. And both knew Mulder trusted her with (his new body-swapped) life. In How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, Scully came over anyway, let herself be led deeper and deeper into the house, knew Mulder was listening to and taking in her skeptical perspectives, and that he was lonely (and she was lonely) and wanted the company. She was the one who realized her natural "shoot first to protect myself" instincts didn't apply to Mulder because she trusted he would never harm her-- he respected, valued, and loved her too much. That trust paid off, and they both escaped. Terms of Endearment was another example of his trust for and respect in Scully, and her belief in that fact: Mulder breaks all conceivable excuses when he takes up a discarded x-files, and calls Scully away from her mandated work to investigate a demon baby case. He trusts her findings completely. In The Rain King, Scully doesn't bristle or withdraw when she finds Sheila making out with Mulder-- she's even amused that Mulder was asked by Holman to give dating advice. She is so secure in her feelings for Mulder that she smiles and twinkles over her "falling in love with your best friend" speech-- there isn't a drop or hint of bitterness, hurt, or distance. And she doesn't attempt to deny or withdraw from Holman's pointed, "You should try it some time." In S.R. 819, she comes to the office, late, at Mulder's call; trusts his instincts, knows Mulder trusts hers; and works in tandem with him to save Skinner's life. In Tithonus, she confides in Mulder about the whippersnapper agent's disrespect, confesses Fellig is an x-file, and calls her partner whenever she needs information (or is afraid.) Mulder is her lifeline; and their reciprocity goes both ways.
Two Fathers and One Son is where things got sticky-- but not too sticky, in hindsight, because of their restored closeness, banter, and symbiotic partnership in Agua Mala. Diana Fowley pops back up, and Mulder trusts her without question, and Scully calls him to the carpet, using his friends against him in order to get her point across. Again, both are right and wrong; and both are in the wrong-- Mulder for his dismissal, Scully for her methods. Still, Mulder chose Scully over Diana-- going to Diana's apartment to check if she was compromised (with a lock pick) and only allowing her to kiss him after he fell into despair and just wanted to save Scully alive.-- and Scully trusted that he would, from the start, because she called him to go with her to retrieve Cassandra Spender. The close of One Son is so, so crucial: Mulder's speech-- "They burned themselves. With a choice made long ago by a conspiracy of men who thought they could sleep with the enemy"-- alerts Scully to his shame. Though her eyebrow goes up and her eyes harden, her mouth and jaw softens: Mulder is owning, in his own way, his complete and utter failure-- that he needed her to save him, again.
So, what does she do? Withdraw, distance, discard? No-- she answers his Floridian sea monster call, travels down in an impending hurricane, clutches onto Mulder's arm, stands with her partner against the loonies, has the confidence that she can poke at his methods and theories without him turning hostile (even on the phone with other police), and bickers with him like half of a married couple. That follows through in Monday, where they are back in business and have nothing between them; in Arcadia, where he continually pushes back against her comfortability with this "normal" life without utterly offending her; in Alpha, even though she is jealous over Mulder's pen pal-- notice she's never this way with his other male friends, acquaintances, and associates? it's a pattern that traces back to TLG's introduction in E.B.E. and Bambi's brief appearance in War of the Coprophages-- and frustrated he didn't clearly communicate ahead of time; and in Trevor where she takes up the (brief) "spontaneous human combustion" theory despite potential or possible prickles from the canid case the week before.
Milagro weaves in the threads Fight the Future left. Scully is lonely and trying to get Mulder's attention; Mulder is concerned about her compromised ability to see Padgett clearly; both are in the wrong, and right, about the case. Both trust each other with their lives; and both cling to each other at the end of the episode. Both hear Padgett's "Agent Scully is already in love." Then The Unnatural unfolds: Scully wants to take life by the testes: she brings ice cream into the basement one Saturday afternoon, hoping to distract Mulder's attention from a case. It turns out, his attention was already distracted. Thus, we have the true cause for the will-they-won't-they, the same one that plagued them all the way back in Detour, and forwards and backwards (since): Mulder doesn't look for life on this planet, hence he misses (and sometimes purposefully overlooks) the signs and signals Scully puts out. He has a big revelation, runs to a baseball field to share it with Scully, and an important thing happens: David Duchovny wrote the script so that Scully already knew Mulder's moral and where he was going-- she already knew Mulder's heart and intentions, hence why she is still here.
In short: if Scully doubts, she withdraws and distances. We see this in Syzygy, we see this in Never Again, we see this in The End, we see this in Fight the Future, we see this in all things. All of these incidences are so much more than Mulder not giving her respect or choosing other people-- all of these are tied to Scully's estimation of herself. Gillian explored this in all things: Mulder didn't change, hadn't changed, hadn't needed to change; it was Scully's doubts and insecurities that were tripping her up, not him. (As Scully says in Never Again, "Not everything is about you, Mulder.") Further, all things concludes with Mulder's return from his trip to England; and Scully plans to tell him about her weekend and listen to him talk about his without expecting him to change or be different-- because she realizes not everything is about her, either: it isn't about the truth or Samantha or Diana Fowley or anyone else, either. Mulder's actions are because of his own reasons, and her actions are because of her reasons-- and she understood the first part as early as Detour (with him running off into the woods and not holding it against him) but hadn't mastered the latter until her talk with 'god'.
So, in conclusion: we all have our thoughts, readings, and opinions. I think attributing Scully's actions in The End and Season 6 to angst over disrespect or thoughtlessness by Mulder-- when there is no carry-through of that angst or disrespect-- is only one dimension to a complicated issue; and does disservice to her flaws, decisions, and resolutions. If Scully had doubted, she'd walk away-- in Fight the Future and One Son-- but the nature of those doubts are better explained in Field Trip (where she and Mulder argue about both their voices not being heard) than in a one-off mytharc episode with a wedged in, fairly one-dimensional character.
i think the hallway scene like half-way through s5e20 is a really great representation of the entirety of season 6 yes i'm still here.
mulder and diana separated from her by a glass door. she can see them and if they cared to look they'd see her too. she waits. diana takes his hand. mulder looks at her and he keeps looking at her and scully's hand is frozen in the air as she reaches for the handle, waiting.
and she attempts to open that damn door so many times but she gets absolutely nothing in return. mulder doesn't listen to her, doesn't trust her, doesn't treat her like an equal—let alone a friend.
because they WERE friends before all of this.
now? after choosing diana over her every single time? after breaking all the promises he made? after going back on all his love confessions? after being his one in five billion right up until someone better came along?
they were friends and now she is "making it personal".
she walks away from him—from THEM, from the x files, from the remnants of the life they've built—and he doesn't try to stop her. the door stays shut with her fingerprints still visible on the glass.
#txf#xf meta#x-files#the x files#x files#xfiles#Mulder#Scully#MSR#S6#FTF#S5#The End#mine#thoughts#poangpals#agree to disagree#this go long sorry!
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man. I just get so actually legitimately sad each time I remember that toh ended and that we live in the post-toh world. Like it really is over.
Ms Dana Terrace has said that she'd like to do more given the chance (and after some quality time off of bigger projects, just to chill), but as far as we know, it's the end.
Heck, we barely got anything after the final episode, no books, no special merch, no dedicated little chibi shorts, nothing really, aside from the, thankfully fun, get-togethers of the cast and crew!
Idk. Ah well actually nah, I do know, that this show just meant an enormous lot to me. Incredibly huge, the kind that you can't break away from and wouldn't want to anyway. The kind that feels like, man, where would I be without it.
Happy 1 Year, to the end of The Owl House. Thank you, The Owl House.
I hope the future is bright, for all of us.
#The Owl House#TOH#Owl House#and tbh. its also why I havent exactly been posting as much!#I just. really miss it man.#and thinking so hard of how great it all was. gets me choked up for real lol.#I do hope theres more for us in the future. I really cant say for certain.#Cause to be less sentimental and more analytical for a moment#TOH was d1sney's biggest original ip hit that wasnt a movie for both such a long time and in a good long time!#Yes yes the internet doesn't always entirely mean the reality of things (which is why financially bcg is their biggest hit technically)#but to actually think back upon it all#TOH always had news articles and video essays and huge followings on tons of communities#especially on youtube! which isn't that easy! Youtube will always be dominated by bigger named things so the fact that toh DID get trending#number 1 more than once? Was incredibly impressive. And not just that but the viewer demand and count were through the roof! Huge in general#television numbers. All to say that is is that toh was an enormous hit. both financially and to people. so. yeah. It's. kind of in the air?#I guess? that no one really knows what could happen. I mean hell amph1bia is still getting books.#Granted....lets not forget ofc that disknee really. really. reaaaally doesnt. like. toh. ×^| but who knows!#personally? still hoping for a save the light styled game someday. or just some game that I can play on my switch someday.#but yep! Enough of my rambling. Thank you for everything The Owl House. really. Truly.
15 notes
·
View notes