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knives-out20 · 3 years ago

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The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

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mctreeleth · 5 years ago

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What’s your major since you said the quilted plague mask was for research for you PHD?

I double majored in Sociology and Womens’ Studies, and my PhD supervisors research and teach Sociology and Cultural Studies.

The mask was not created to be part of my research. I was struggling with motivation last week and my frustration was making work harder and I was snowballing stress. My therapist said to go do something else, and my brain smushed together the fact that everyone was sewing face masks out of printed quilting cotton with plague doctor masks, and so I made it happen, because, why not? And then people were super into it, and asking for a pattern, and offering to buy a pattern, and I was like… oh shit. This is research now.

Backstory; I did my honours thesis on the use of norms to regulate acceptable practices of pattern and design sharing and use in the quilting community. My original research had three parts. The first was going through a lot of blogs and facebook pages and comments sections about quilting and finding examples of members of the community making assertions as to what could or couldn’t be done. The next bit was the same, but looking for cases where members of the group had attempted to enact sanctions on individuals whose actions had been deemed deviant. This was usually in the form of someone asking for a pattern and them being strongly criticised for doing so, or someone saying that you aren’t allowed to copy patterns and… being roundly criticised for doing so. Norms are enforced by call-out posts, basically. The third bit was doing surveys and interviews of quilters to find out about their own attitudes, how they came to these views, and any examples they had seen of conflicts or sanctions taking place.

Then this research got considered in in conjunction with the existing academic literature.

Firstly, there are other communities that use norms-based Intellectual property systems like the one employed by the anti-copying half of the quilting community, but the pushback against the them isn’t there as much. Stand-up comedians, magicians and Michelin-starred chefs generally agree to not recreate one another’s creations. The question then is, why do quilters?

So then I had to look at, what about quilting as a craft makes people feel that copying is the done thing? The assertions of intellectual property rights without any confirmed legal framework aren’t as important - they are happening elsewhere too - what matters is that aforementioned pushback against these norms. Part of it is technical - the geometric nature of quilts, and the fact that their entire design is literally flat out visible on them, mean that you can copy a quilt without ever seeing a pattern. And the second part is historical - that that is exactly what happened. Quilt “patterns” were not patterns as we would think of them, they were sketches of a block configuration, shared so much that we no longer know where they started.

So we know what is happening - an IP-favouring norm system has taken hold in the quilting community, but there is pushback against this because of quilting’s history.

That was meant to be my Honours thesis, and then I was going to look at why the IP-favouring norms had come to be for my PhD. But I inadvertently came to the conclusion a little too early that the IP favouring norms were tied to the commodification of creative pursuits as part of the whole idea that, if you are good at something, never do it for free. So then my honours thesis also contained a lot of stuff regarding how society values the works of women, particularly the art/craft divide, and the notion of feminine hobbies such as quilting being undertaken for love, plus some real-talk economic realities about the prospects of actually making money from quilting.

And that meant that I had answered my PhD question in my honours thesis.

I gave some pretty serious thought to not actually doing a PhD - I had started this whole thing in order to interrogate my own views towards the arguments I had been observing for over a decade, and achieved that goal. I spent about 4 months flip flopping on the decision, but it seemed like a wasted opportunity to not at least apply. And I got accepted, and had to come up with an actual research question.

I spent 6 weeks over the summer mainly chilling next to the river in my hometown, and came to realise that the little old ladies resisting putting a price on quilt designs might have something big to teach us about resisting the post-fordist neoliberal capitalist rhetoric that underpins modern society. So that was my PhD. Can I take the arguments they use in resistance towards the IP-based norms system in quilting and draw from them to challenge the valorisation of hustle culture?

I have made a lot of quilts over the last decade, but I have never used a pattern, because I am in Australia and I really like the metric system, whereas most quilt patterns are in inches. But my supervisor and I had discussed the idea of me writing some patterns and putting them out there; tracking what happened to them, seeing if they got quote unquote “stolen”, maybe even for the hell of it publishing something with an aesthetic similarity to a popular quilt pattern that was also rooted in a traditional quilt block, just to see if I could get called out and start conflict. But I also wanted to know what it was like on the other side, to have worked very hard on something and then put it out there for people to use. To have people saying that this piece of your work is worth x amount to them. To know that your creation will be used in ways outside of your control. For people to feel entitled to your work, or for people to feel like your work isn’t good enough, that it was not worth their “investment”.

But we are only 6 weeks in, and this would be something I would do second year, maybe, if we did it at all. I would need ethics clearance, and to write about my motivations beforehand, and tie it to the literature to explain what I thought would happen.

I did not think that I would make a pattern as a distraction a month and a half in and get to do all that so soon. Plus I kind of threw the impartiality by adding terms of use that were aggressively the opposite of most of the claims you see on sewing patterns. But that was my little treat to me.

And now it is part of my research because it is a way to have people tell me about their experiences and attitudes, whether that be explicit “this is what I think is okay and this is what has happened to me” stories, or examples of the pervasiveness of commodification in people asking where they could buy the pattern.

More helpfully, it is letting me articulate in a different medium and to a different audience aspects of my research, and why I care about it so much. Two weeks ago I was basically bashing my head against a wall trying to explain what I was going for to a blank word document. It feels a lot easier to try to explain it to curious people on the internet.

And it is all thanks to a dumb idea about how, if I am going to sew a dubiously effective fabric mask, I want it to look dope as shit.

#slyfox101honk #This got long I am so so sorry #But I can't explain why it is research without explaining what I am researching #TLDR: Sociology and because people use and share and have expectations about craft patterns because capitalism

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Amber & Cosmo

Amber: [okay so what if like he finds her in Dash's room obvs he's not there like lowkey ransacking it and he can either help her or walk off whatever you think he'd do and then we can do a convo after that of her being like I'm not a burglar or a bunny boiler just for your info] Cosmo: [I like it, he'd more than likely just walk-off like 😏 okay so] Amber: [that works for us cos they've seen each other so they know each other is hot but haven't spoken] Cosmo: [exactly and just set up he's not gonna deign to get involved with anything his brother/you] Amber: not a stalker but realise getting in your inbox to claim that is a defeat.... Cosmo: you either got the wrong room or wrong inbox Amber: right room to get my zip back, right inbox because you saw me hunting for it Cosmo: I'm glad Cosmo: your efforts to stop him being entirely useless are appreciated Amber: I don't rate highly for him besides 🎯 Amber: but easy mark for theft isn't a sweet identifier Cosmo: Exactly, no need to get upset Cosmo: you've got your shit back and you didn't have to interact with him again, take your wins Amber: control your emotion? is that how you're gonna talk to a girl you've just (not) met? Amber: take your chance at less....THAT....first impression Cosmo: we met Cosmo: I was the tall, athletic guy Cosmo: you were up to your waist in all the crap he has lying about, but I could just about see you over it Amber: you looked at me, you didn't meet me Amber: it would involve not keeping walking Cosmo: I'm sorry, I didn't know there was etiquette surrounding girls who just so happen to be taking back what was there's, NOT stalking and NOT stealing Cosmo: should I have offered assistance? Amber: if the idea of meeting me horrifies you more than the prospect of me leaving quicker thrills you, no help required Cosmo: I'm not part of the turndown service, sadly Cosmo: again, nothing personal Cosmo: I just have somewhere to be Amber: I didn't know it was a real hotel Cosmo: He didn't tell you? Cosmo: practically the marmont but no one cool has died here yet Amber: the in depth conversation you're picturing us having didn't happen Amber: not to make you more uncomfortable than my sudden appearance Cosmo: rest easy, I'm not picturing anything Cosmo: as I said, busy Amber: 😴👶 Cosmo: What's that meant to mean Amber: I'll sleep like a newborn, you can rest easy knowing it Amber: when you're not busy Cosmo: 😏 alright Cosmo: would hate to have you keeping me up at night, honestly, so thanks Amber: if I wake up screaming for milk I won't come & find you Cosmo: If you wake up 9 months down the like with a screaming 👶 Cosmo: I'll redirect you to the right room, free of charge Amber: can you not put a hex on me please Amber: I'm too busy myself to be carrying any 👶s Cosmo: I can promise you I wouldn't know how should I want to Cosmo: but I don't and you seem smart enough to have put your faith in something beyond magik Amber: what do those people seem like to you? Amber: I can talk in riddles all day Amber: give you a reading Cosmo: I've been assured we're both too busy for that Cosmo: but I get it, I know where you're from Amber: you know where I live Amber: that makes two of us Cosmo: I don't need to know any more than that Cosmo: do you? Amber: if you don't, I don't Amber: you don't work at the hotel and I'm not the official spokesperson for this place Cosmo: we can both agree to give the guided tour a miss Cosmo: go on then, what's your name Amber: that's a quick turnaround Amber: you didn't need to know anything because you had an idea where to leave 💌 Amber: you wanna give them the personal touch, addressed to me and signed? Cosmo: You might be used to being the hottest girl in the commune or whatever but that ain't it Cosmo: you don't wanna be spokesperson, who are you then? Amber: 😂 we don't spend our days having beauty and talent contests but if I do speak out I'll suggest it over the campfire Amber: my name isn't who I am, is yours? 🚀🌠 Cosmo: Sure being humble and selfless is in the indoctrination but give it a go Cosmo: those 20s won will all add up for you Cosmo: and I go by my last name Amber: flattery & letters, you're a patron of all the dying arts, boy Cosmo: Someone's got to Amber: valiant Cosmo: If you like Cosmo: you won't be getting the letters though, this rate Amber: don't you like compliments back? Amber: I'll use a 🖋 if you prefer Cosmo: Genuine ones, perhaps Amber: you're not too busy for genuine connection? Cosmo: awfully presumptuous for someone who only knows where I live Cosmo: touche Amber: I know your name too Amber: & what you look like Cosmo: You won't tell me yours Cosmo: it can't be much worse Amber: It's Amber and up to you how you rate it Amber: some of my roommates have it worse, or better, subjectively Cosmo: Its normal Cosmo: you won the hippie lottery Amber: but maybe I'd commit more fully if I was called Acorn Amber: love my life Cosmo: maybe you'd resent it even harder and change it to something really dull just to spite them Amber: Or go by my last name, little 🐦 told me some people do that 😏 Cosmo: Long as any siblings you've got love their stupid name Cosmo: why not, eh Amber: I don't have any Amber: officially Cosmo: Piss off Cosmo: why are you like princess of that place Amber: I have no idea what you mean Amber: if anyone is, Lux is Cosmo: You get a normal name AND you don't have 17 brothers and sisters Cosmo: you're one of the murderers on the run then, yeah? Amber: we covered that I'm no crazy ex Amber: my dad's a teacher, he teaches the ones who don't go to school Cosmo: figures Amber: what's the equation? you haven't shown any of your working out Cosmo: exactly Cosmo: that's why you're not exactly like the others I've 👀 Cosmo: 🍎📚 Amber: are you 'not like other girls' ing me or calling me a 🤓? Cosmo: You can have 'not like other girls I've met on the landing' Amber: am I supposed to want that? Amber: maybe this is a 'ask me how many other girls I've met on the landing' lead in Cosmo: Why would you need to ask? Cosmo: compare notes around the campfire Amber: it doesn't interest me Cosmo: Gutted for him Amber: how much more flattery can I take Cosmo: Maybe a question for yourself Cosmo: definitely not for me Amber: you're offering it up Amber: you're not gonna question that? Cosmo: I've got manners Cosmo: you can question why that's so shocking to you but I ain't gonna put a downer on your day now you got your bag of sunshine back Amber: the answer is because if you had manners you wouldn't have run away from me when I was going feral on your brothers belongings Cosmo: I don't owe his stuff any more than I owe you Cosmo: there's manners then there's involving yourself in business that ain't yours Cosmo: which is rude, btw Amber: I was upset & you ignored it, that's ruder btw Cosmo: He upsets lots of people Cosmo: I can't console you all Cosmo: I'm sure he'll be at yours if you need to talk it out Cosmo: or just smack him, better yet Amber: we aren't allowed to resort to violence to resolve our conflicts Amber: I came to Hotel Calfornia looking for him for that precise reason Cosmo: you're welcome to wait Cosmo: can never leave that one, yeah Cosmo: he'll be back for snacks at some point Amber: I got a better resolution, my shit back Cosmo: like I said, I am genuinely glad for you Cosmo: and I also said, you shouldn't bother being upset about him Amber: I'm not upset about him, that's why I'm not waiting for him Cosmo: What's wrong Amber: I don't like being stolen from, we share, we don't just take Cosmo: He's not from there Cosmo: and he's also a prick Cosmo: just tell all your other hippie mates and they'll not feel like sharing with him any time soon, easy Amber: he's there more than I am, he knows how things are Amber: & I'm not a teacher Cosmo: bold of you to assume he cares Cosmo: this ain't actually a hotel either, let you in on that shocker Cosmo: just treats it as such Amber: I'm not so high I see more dots than there are to connect Amber: you're easy to follow Amber: so is he Cosmo: If that's riddle for normie Cosmo: I've never been less offended, sorry Amber: if I wanted to offend you I'd have looked through your room after his Cosmo: what do you want Amber: something to do Cosmo: Do you wanna get back at him or no Amber: are you gonna out me to the hippies if I say yes? Cosmo: You've never seen me there Cosmo: you don't need to worry Amber: not worried, I'm curious Cosmo: right answer Cosmo: come back here and I'll help you this time, alright Cosmo: but not now, I have training Cosmo: later Amber: call my name when you're done Amber: now you know it Cosmo: alright Cosmo: if 12 other girls come out too, not my fault Amber: 😂 Amber: they won't look anything like me if they do Amber: we'll track each other down Cosmo: Hottest girl in the commune, I remember Cosmo: don't need to kick it that old school and insist on glass slippers Amber: what you should remember is I won the hippie lottery Amber: only Amber at the commune Amber: so if you find any others they'll be 'normal' Cosmo: quote unquote Cosmo: anyone who willingly spends their time there without reason is weirder than being born there Amber: I wasn't born there Amber: & you're being a bigger prick than your brother Cosmo: dragged there by your parents, same difference Amber: that's their reason for being there, they don't make me stay Amber: they don't make me do anything Cosmo: sure Amber: it's not the horriblest place I've lived, why is that so 👽 to you? Cosmo: Kids don't have free will when it comes to their parents Cosmo: mine don't MAKE me live here but where else Amber: I have more than most Cosmo: I already said sure Amber: but it's heavy with disbelief Cosmo: because its not real Amber: I'll send you a postcard as tangible proof when I go back to travelling & they stay here Cosmo: I'll pretend I'm impressed Amber: are we trying to impress each other now? Cosmo: Do you think you're being impressive Amber: no Cosmo: Good Amber: what are you training for? Cosmo: football Cosmo: I'm a footballer Amber: let me guess, you're the one who scores all the goals Amber: whatever that's called Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: girls don't fuck with the goalie Cosmo: but I ain't ours Cosmo: even though its equally as important, if you ask him 😏 Amber: plenty more girls don't care what position a boy plays in Amber: or if he plays Cosmo: girls you know Cosmo: not ones I need to Amber: girls existing all over the world Amber: because there is a 🌏 beyond the commune, in spite of how obsessed you are with it Cosmo: called the world cup, look it up Cosmo: nothing unites the world more than football, fact Cosmo: ain't peace and love Amber: research football hooligans Amber: 👶s are made but domestic violence spikes if you lose Cosmo: part of it Cosmo: war is the other great equalizer, fightings the good bit of, obviously Amber: conversion to your way of thinking isn't necessary Cosmo: I'm right Cosmo: its irrelevant what you think Amber: I'm not looking for deprogramming & reprogramming Cosmo: Your loss Amber: 🙃 Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: later Amber: call me, Cosmo 💫 Cosmo: don't call me that, like Amber: this is where if I was you, I'd say don't get upset Cosmo: I told you that's not my name Amber: what do you want me to call you? Cosmo: You seriously don't know his last name Cosmo: Christ Amber: why would I? he wasn't offering to give it to me Cosmo: 🙄 Cosmo: its Haynes Amber: 👌 Cosmo: [however long you have to train for, probably a full day] Cosmo: you about, Amber Amber: I thought you'd forgotten about me Cosmo: How could I Cosmo: how bad do you wanna mess with him then, what's the level here Amber: I don't want him to think I'm 💔 Cosmo: 'Course Cosmo: I've got an idea then Cosmo: you want to come back or you want me to 📬 you the goods Amber: are you gonna also send me 💌 with it? Cosmo: does that change your answer? Amber: yes Cosmo: I thought you'd had enough flattery for one day Amber: that was before you ignored me for a really long time Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: you're funny Amber: 🤭 Cosmo: do you know what this is? Cosmo: [sends her a picture of a small ass/specialist spanner used for skateboard wheels] Amber: 🛹🔧 Cosmo: exactly Cosmo: so its just a case of if you wanna do the honours or not really Amber: I'll be there Cosmo: I won't start without you Cosmo: you can be more creative with your hiding places than he was too, not hard Amber: considerate Amber: I won't make you wait as long as you did me Cosmo: do most girls not like to be kept waiting too then Amber: it was you who singled me out as different Amber: 🕊☮️✌👽 Cosmo: comes with the territory Cosmo: but I could be beating women and rioting so you know Amber: 🌟 for not Cosmo: backatcha for being the only Amber Amber: I didn't choose my name, you know Amber: you'll have to give my mama that one Cosmo: 💔 so much for freedom Cosmo: take your wins, remember Amber: nobody can walk when they're a 👶 Amber: remember your manners Cosmo: you bringing her with then Cosmo: bit weird but fine Amber: you gonna flatter her too? Cosmo: 🌟 all 'round Amber: then no because her committed relationship would crumble & it'd be my fault for bringing her to the hotel Cosmo: hardly, I'm a prick, right Cosmo: and define committed whilst you're at it Amber: it's not up to me to define what she means by committed or to judge if she's into pricks young enough to be her son Cosmo: considerate Amber: 🤫 because I don't have 17 siblings or 4 fathers doesn't mean my mama is for you, boy Cosmo: the MILF thing is played out Cosmo: not for me Amber: 🌟🌟 Cosmo: cheers Amber: I understand why when he's at the commune, he stays Amber: it's a long way back to the hotel Cosmo: you reckon that's it Amber: do you have a pool? Cosmo: why would we Amber: he can't skate on water so that's another negative Amber: if you did Amber: & most hotels do Cosmo: yeah, for the 2 days a year the sun's out Cosmo: he'll have to learn to snowboard on it 'cos more likely Amber: you don't have to wait for the sun to come out to go swimming Cosmo: stitch that one on a pillow Amber: I'll leave it on your bed for you when I'm done Cosmo: you just that fast or you make a habit of breaking in? Amber: you don't want me in your pool or your room Amber: unfriendly Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: gutted, obviously Cosmo: come in the front door this time, let's start there Amber: if you insist Cosmo: just thinking of my parents guttering Amber: are you calling me fat now? Cosmo: Oh yeah Cosmo: you're tiny, don't be dumb Amber: maybe you're playing blind football, I don't know your life Cosmo: I ignored you, I still 👀 you Cosmo: sorry to break it to you Amber: do you want that on the other side of the pillow? Cosmo: go on Amber: I'll just stitch some 👀s and freak you out Amber: the stalker in me Cosmo: 😍 more appropriate Amber: after you go swimming with me maybe Cosmo: got nothing more than a bathtub here, I weren't lying Amber: how big is it? Cosmo: you won't be able to do laps Amber: we'll have to float instead Cosmo: alright 😂 Amber: how long can you hold your breath for? Cosmo: I dunno Cosmo: but probably ages, my cardio is top Cosmo: how 'bout you Amber: we'll find out Cosmo: after floating Cosmo: gotcha Amber: or before Amber: I'm not setting a strict routine Cosmo: 😶 Cosmo: that's hippie talk Amber: that's what I am, boy Amber: more or less Cosmo: it don't matter what you are Cosmo: we've just got a common enemy Amber: you're being unfriendly again Cosmo: how am I? Amber: don't say I don't matter Cosmo: you understood what I meant Cosmo: just to each other Amber: that's not being stitched anywhere Cosmo: I will need another pillow like Cosmo: can't just have one Cosmo: but take your time Amber: 😏 Amber: what do you want on pillow 2? sequels are never as good Cosmo: I know, I'm the original Cosmo: does your wisdom start and end with the one quote then Cosmo: got the eyes, you may as well give me the rest Amber: my whole face isn't what you wanna be looking at every night before you go to sleep Amber: you never would Cosmo: come off it Amber: I'm an original too Amber: & the commune's hottest unless you're gonna take that back suddenly Cosmo: Not met everyone but I'd happily bet on it Amber: come meet everyone Cosmo: why Cosmo: didn't actually put a 💸 on that, if you're hiding some supermodel there for ransom Amber: because you won't find out if you don't Cosmo: I'll live, like Cosmo: tah for the offer Amber: what's your hang up with the place? Cosmo: anywhere my brother, or people like him, is, is not a place I need to be Amber: it's big enough that you can exist on opposite ends Cosmo: still Cosmo: not my scene Amber: when did you last go? Cosmo: I dunno, whenever I was last forced for some family birthday Amber: give it another 🎯 now you've been invited Cosmo: I still don't get what it is to you Cosmo: I like clubs Cosmo: and drinking over weed any day but not every day 'cos I have to stay in regime all week at least Amber: I don't get why you're so 🚫 Amber: Dash isn't gonna stop me being there Cosmo: I don't get why you care Cosmo: not the spokesperson you said Cosmo: I'm not ripe for indoctrinating, I'm good Amber: because don't you think you're too old for sibling rivalry Cosmo: There's no rivalry Cosmo: we don't like each other Cosmo: he's a loser and happy being it Amber: whatever you wanna call it, more played out than milfs Amber: it's like the kids here who draw a line down their section of the room Cosmo: I didn't ask for you opinion Amber: you don't have to be mad about it because you didn't ask for it Cosmo: I can be mad because its unwarranted and you have no idea what you're giving your opinion on Amber: I'll give you an apology if you'll take it Cosmo: whatever Cosmo: just come do what you need to do Amber: I just wanted to see you around, I didn't mean to go hard into prying into your shit Amber: sorry Cosmo: no harm done Cosmo: don't worry Amber: it's not been a typical day Amber: I know I wear stalker well but not my usual colours Cosmo: I get it Cosmo: I do know him even if I'd prefer not to Cosmo: and even if I don't know you Cosmo: no biggie Amber: that unites us if ⚽ never will Cosmo: Right 😏 Cosmo: I weren't taking the piss when I said you were different to the rest Cosmo: even if I didn't mean it as lame as it sounded Cosmo: don't feel bad, yeah Amber: shouldn't I? if I'm different then why didn't I act different Cosmo: We all make mistakes Cosmo: you don't have to be a repeat offender, you know Amber: that's less likely than the skateboarding on water trick Amber: he wouldn't offer & I wouldn't accept Cosmo: Good to know but bit TMI Amber: sorry again Cosmo: don't mention it Cosmo: seriously, like Amber: 😶 Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: he's an idiot Amber: the way everyone talks about him, I thought Amber: we'd click Cosmo: Didn't you Cosmo: nah Cosmo: well, there's plenty other people 'round to be mates with instead Cosmo: one plus of living there, surely Amber: it's the best thing about living there Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: and you clearly don't need any help with lads Cosmo: forget him Amber: after this Cosmo: well, of course Cosmo: not even stalker moves, just fair Amber: if you'd let me use the window it could be both Cosmo: would you like it to be both Cosmo: won't tell but I can't vouch for the neighbours Amber: you don't want your neighbours thinking I'm sleeping my way through the family Amber: understandable because you'd be 2nd Cosmo: Hilarious Cosmo: and you wouldn't want to break up my parent's stable committed relationship would you Amber: no Cosmo: I wouldn't recommend either of them and all so fairplay Amber: it'd be bizarre if you did Cosmo: you got limits then Cosmo: good to know Amber: because I consent to live with a big group of hippies you assume I don't? Amber: some of them are very limited Amber: or is it because I slept with your brother once? Cosmo: I'm not assuming anything Cosmo: that's why I said, always handy to know Cosmo: and you said you'd shut up so do Amber: have another go at asking me to & I will Cosmo: you don't get it, 'cos you're an only child Cosmo: but there's nothing I'd like to talk about less Amber: you still don't get to tell me to shut up Cosmo: If you wanna talk about him piping you, go literally anywhere else, I don't care Cosmo: I don't wanna hear it Amber: I don't wanna talk about it but I don't want you to talk to me like that either Cosmo: You stop, I'll stop Cosmo: that works in both our favours Amber: agreed Cosmo: sorted Amber: let me in & it soon can be Cosmo: 👌 Amber: [just gonna walk up in your house like she owns it] Cosmo: [doing the after you motion like 'you know where it is'] Amber: [going there cos she do] Cosmo: [following 'cos you've committed now not gonna bail, assumedly found all boards he has so more of a fuck you moment, just sitting on his bed like awks] Amber: [sitting on the floor because doesn't wanna sit on his bed for obvs reasons even if he hadn't already claimed it and getting to work but lbr she'd struggle to get some of the wheels off cos you can't tell me she's got any strength at all, look at her, so just looking at him like help] Cosmo: [shaking his head like lol but lowers himself to the floor too to get the rest off] Amber: [kissing him on the cheek when he's done it like thanks] Cosmo: [😳 and pushing her away, gently lol, like get off and just focusing on their handiwork like well 'what you gonna do with 'em all?'] Amber: [is genuinely thinking 'other than putting one on a necklace, you mean?'] Cosmo: [🙄 but not so severe 'you know they cost loads, for what they are, not joking, probably some other stoner kids you can sell 'em to'] Amber: ['there's plenty of younger skaters I know I can give them to' because what does she need money for tbh] Cosmo: ['cute' but 😒 on the low 'maybe someone can use them in a fucking, what's the word- installation'] Amber: [just nodding because another good idea thanks even if you're being salty] Cosmo: [on his phone a bit 'cos what else, also how else are you casually gonna add 'so you DON'T want me to punch him?'] Amber: [gathering up all the wheels to put in her bag because let's assume there's loads 'you said you're not assuming shit, I only said I'll get in it if I do at home'] Cosmo: [nods 😏 and hands her one that rolled away 'so what is part two of the plan?'] Amber: [shrugs like I'm not gonna tell you what to do about your brother again, lesson learned, but then looks at him for confusion because why do they need a part two 'a theft for a theft makes me and Dash even'] Cosmo: ['boring' and getting up like well if you're not gonna hit him] Amber: [gets up herself 'which door's the bathroom? we've still got plans' and does the swimming arms thing like come on] Cosmo: [laughs 'cos obviously didn't and doesn't think she's serious] Amber: [goes to find it herself because we know she is] Cosmo: [following and directing her away from his room like nope wrong way] Amber: [finds that 🛁 and sets it running and casually strips to her undies like it's no thing cos how she's been raised its not] Cosmo: [just turning so fast like horrified lmao 'what are you doing?!'] Amber: [sitting on the edge waiting for that fill like 'I spelled it out' looking at him like what's confusing you here we discussed it] Cosmo: [just looking back but only at her face to be like wtf] Amber: [goes to put her head under all 😏 but more amused than that emoji ever is 'time me' and then does holding her breath for however long she can] Cosmo: [is all 'for god's sake' under his breath but does still, also shutting the door though I assume they aren't in lol] Amber: [accidentally flicking so much water at him when she comes back up cos her braids are long af and loling like oh soz but obvs not] Cosmo: [so 😑 'are you done now or what?'] Amber: ['how long was it?' looking at him genuinely curious to know] Cosmo: [whatever number 'round about makes sense 'cos idk 'you need a baseline to know if its good or bad otherwise its meaningless data'] Amber: ['I wanna know if I'm better or worse than you, so have your go'] Cosmo: [a face like seriously but does 'cos competitive and 'I'm obviously going to be better, you could've saved yourself the effort' whilst taking whatever clothes he has on off] Amber: [just smiling cos what effort we're having a lovely time you rude hoe] Cosmo: [shakes his head but less mad than before 'don't cheat' and going under] Amber: [we all know he's gonna be better but that's hardly the point actually] Cosmo: [casually staying under 'til you nearly die, a mood, not even asking just like 😏 at her] Amber: [getting in the tub and lying down on her back stretched out like boy I am not bothered] Cosmo: ['if you just wanted to use the facilities, like...' and getting a towel to dry his face and hair] Amber: ['it's a hotel if I want, is it?' just being a mermaid over here like don't mind her] Cosmo: ['wait 'til I give you the bill' and taking the chance to look at her via the mirror] Amber: ['let me guess, am I gonna have to sell the wheels to afford it?' just loling] Cosmo: ['not in the market for a shit ton of squashes so you can't barter your way out'] Amber: [splashes him like rude but not actually offended obvs] Cosmo: ['oi' and drying himself some more like 'scuse me 'offer something better if you have it'] Amber: ['if it's too cold for you, I can add some more hot water' and does 'you've got plenty of that on offer, unlike the farm and plenty of other places I've lived'] Cosmo: ['you should've just asked if you needed a bath, like'] Amber: [splashes him harder than before like stop being mean to me] Cosmo: [a look like you said it and dropping the towel he was holding to mop the floor pointedly] Amber: [a look back like don't kill my vibe I'm having fun here] Cosmo: ['manners'] Amber: [gestures like his 'after you' one he did earlier for him to get in with her] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'small as you are, I barely fit on my own'] Amber: [looks him up and down like she's not even considered that he might not fit with a small lil pouty lip moment for half a sec before smiling 'is that a pro or a con for footballers?'] Cosmo: [just looking at her lips like can you not 'cos obviously wants to but is not going to, good distraction with football chat 'not essential but I'm faster than any short lad obviously, so that helps whatever position they wanna put me in'] Amber: ['but are you a scorer, officially?' when you think that's what they are called bye] Cosmo: [laughing but not at 'cos cute 'yeah, basically its me and the centre-forward, so his job is to just score the goals, which is mine too, but I also set him up with goals and do more attack midfielding too, like the go-between, s'more interesting' shrugs 'cos you know you're gonna have lost her and you're used to that 'cos WAGs don't actually care about the game either lol 'I'm fast, so I can be in two places at once, better than lads that only know one position and then are fucked if the formation is changed'] Amber: ['why can't every player help each other on the team how you do instead of having specific roles that they're really zoned into?'] Cosmo: [when you ain't expecting a follow-up question like oh okay 👀 'well, if we all do our role, then we work as a team like a whole, one being, so I can't fully go into midfield and do their defending side of it, and if I'm with the defenders I ain't where I need to be to pass the ball to goal, right? Like if the goalie decided he wanted to score, if we lose the ball, who's stopping it? If we all tried to do all of it, you've got 22 lads on a ball, the game falls apart, like. If everyone gets their one part down perfect, then the game is ours' pauses, trying to think of an example of his limited knowledge of her atm 'like your dad's the teacher, yeah? if he goes and does a half-arsed job of something else, then someone else has to half-arse the teaching whilst he's gone and then you end up with a shitter result than if you'd all done what you was meant to...you get brought to a team for a specific thing, so if you ain't bringing it, they'll bench you, but the more positions you're capable in, the more they can move you around...' stops sheepishly like sorry] Amber: [when you're buzzing cos he didn't make fun of you and that actually made sense and he'd be able to tell 'do they ever ask you where you wanna play though? when you start, or does the manager just decide for everyone?'] Cosmo: ['sort of. see, when you play proper, not just a local five-a-side, you work out when you're really young what position you're best in, or at least the area, even if you move about a bit within that area, like I've always been more attack than defense since I could walk- s'like any career honestly, so if your da was a maths teacher at one school, he'd more likely go to his next and do the same, you can change but you've built up a rep for that positon, you aren't gonna just waltz in and say you want a different one just 'cos, you have to prove yourself, like anything' when you feel like you're talking about yourself so much 'cos not allowed unless its with other boys at school/on the team so that's basically like work chat with colleagues 'you go same school as Dash and that then?'] Amber: [genuinely interested because wouldn't have thought about it like a career before and again it'd be obvious she's not just nodding along bored or whatever 'my dad doesn't like to let the class sizes get too big' because in my head there's lowkey too many peeps living at the commune full time never mind the peeps who come and go 'so when we got here I enrolled myself same day, takes the pressure off'] Cosmo: [that feels real to me as a vibe right before it all goes downhill 'that's good, though I'm sure it don't feel like you get much more attention' 'cos schools are always rammed esp. in cities] Amber: ['I don't want it' because I feel like she's not that academic soz father] Cosmo: ['what do you wanna do after?'] Amber: [shrugs because probably wouldn't know at this point 'undecided'] Cosmo: [wouldn't wanna sound salty about it 'cos that's most people but ultimately is 'cos not an option when you need to start as a toddler if you wanna do footie 'must be nice' half-smiles to show he's not being the rudest] Amber: ['I could become a referee, run into you again that way' also smiling but fully because obvs not gonna do that but like boy I wanna see you take the hint] Cosmo: [😏 'I reckon the songs the hippie boys write for you are more favourable than what you'd get as a ref but you'd suit the stripes'] Amber: [another pout that quickly turns into a smile because ultimately true] Cosmo: [a LOOK that's like stop doing that] Amber: [a look back because there will never be a time when I don't] Cosmo: ['you ever getting out or what, Ariel?' and running his hands through the water, making a point of getting SO close to touching her but not quite] Amber: [when you shiver but we can pretend it's because you're in the tub even though we all know you put hot water in not long ago] Cosmo: [but its more noticeable 'cos you didn't reply so another 😏 moment, going to his room without saying anything like bye but coming back with a dressing gown like there you go] Amber: [getting out immediately and putting it on like he might take it away again if I don't and I wanna wear it cos it's his so] Cosmo: [gonna drown in fabric and look so cute bye] Amber: [taking off those wet undergarments like you can't see anything but I'm now naked under this so think about that but also because it's necessary or you'll never dry] Cosmo: [just dying 'cos what are you gonna do with this obvious moment like umm] Amber: [walking out of the bathroom like it's so casual and throwing the words over your shoulder as you go downstairs to explore like 'where's the hotel bar?'] Cosmo: [let's assume you've got a few bottles of something decent in your top cupboard, when you don't need a chair 'cos tol boy, just getting out some vodka like ?] Amber: [going to the fridge to get something to mix it with cos there's no need to drink it straight we're not going that hard] Cosmo: [just leaning casually watching like okay, go off] Amber: [handing it to him as if he's the barman and walking away to go get comfy on their sofa, put music on and generally act like you live here] Cosmo: [bemused af 'how often do you do this then?' and getting himself some of whatever mixer she used] Amber: ['I never stay in hotels' because true tbh] Cosmo: ['well yeah but I could be anyone, you know' makes a face like 🤪] Amber: ['you could be someone too' and a look cos we all know what she means by that flirty nonsense] Cosmo: ['you gonna stay 'til you work it out?' and coming over to sit down 'cos just been hovering in the kitchen] Amber: [stretching out and putting her feet on him even though she's smol cos there's the answer she's going nowhere any time soon] Cosmo: [just looking down at them then looking back up at her, not saying anything but not not saying nothing you know] Amber: [drinking her drink but in a contented way and lowkey grooving to whatever music she put on] Cosmo: [when she's so cute in a way you are not used to 'cos girls you are like never get comfortable around you never let their guard down get up before you to reapply makeup types so you feel so outta your depth but not mad about it either] Amber: ['thank you, by the way' cos you remember you haven't actually said anything about him helping you earlier] Cosmo: [when you're a bit ? 'cos not sure what she's referring to at first but then you realize and shrug 'he deserves it, no big'] Amber: [nudging him with your foot like oi don't downplay it cos it means something to you even if he didn't do it for you] Cosmo: [grabbing her foot and tickling it to see if she is] Amber: [isn't so just raising her eyebrow at him like oh really] Cosmo: ['you're definitely an alien'] Amber: [laughs at that though 'plenty of people aren't ticklish, you know'] Cosmo: [shakes head 'sounds fake, hippie'] Amber: ['it'd be bogus if I did this-' reacts like a ticklish bitch how he obvs wanted her to] Cosmo: ['sometimes its polite to fake it, you know' throwing a pillow or something at her] Amber: ['whatever girl told you she was doing it to be polite...' throws it back 'that was not the real vibe'] Cosmo: ['shut up, that's not what I meant' purposefully throwing it out of her reach] Amber: [such a pout so offended] Cosmo: ['boys can fake it too, you with your assumptions'] Amber: ['I didn't realise we were waiting on your really polite boyfriend to come home, but I'll let you two be alone for the awkward discussion of why he really faked it'] Cosmo: [pushes her feet off him and gets up to go back upstairs] Amber: [just looking at him like what?] Cosmo: ['you know where the door is when you're done then' looks back 'or the window, whatever'] Amber: ['why are you so angry about anything I said that you want me to be done?'] Cosmo: ['I'm just bored of the jokes, you don't know me like that- like this' gestures between them and then does a 'forget about it' motion] Amber: [finishes her drink and goes into the kitchen to wash and dry the glass like fine I'm getting ready to go] Cosmo: [in his room, I guess] Amber: [shall I get Dash back rn or do we wanna coax him back first?] Cosmo: [whatever feels realer to you tbh] Amber: [let's get him back then fuck it, bonus points if there's a back door in the kitchen he comes through and she's just there washing up in a dressing gown like #ohhey] Cosmo: [how hilariously domestic, and you can't think she's waiting for you in your brother's dressing gown so bye] Amber: [I'm cackling but I'm not cos he'd be such a dick] Cosmo: [now I'm like, hmm, he's probably loud enough for you to hear, do you come down and diffuse/detract attention, I say yes] Amber: [just don't punch him cos then it will look like you're a couple lol] Cosmo: [just be your usual fighty selves and run girl run I say] Amber: [she'd have literally just been like I came back to get my stash and the rest is none of your business which doesn't exactly help so go back to the bathroom and put your clothes on girl] Cosmo: [just doing your best to not start a brawl here] Amber: [coming back clothed after a hot sec and giving him his dressing gown back with a genuine smile because you had fun and you're not sorry]

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Ep 02 Transcript: Ass Ticks

Episode 2

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, our Warriors Cat reread pawdcast that we have a name for. We have cover art. We're in the big leagues. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we are back again, reading Into the Wild. Yeah, we read chapter five through chapter nine this week. Do we have anything to say beforehand or should we just go right into the summaries?

JULIAN: I'm sure we'll talk about this more, but I love Yellowfang.

PAZ: Yes, I think that might be a theme of this episode but we'll have to see. I echo that sentiment.

LIZ: She's great.

PAZ: Well, okay, let's go meet her in these chapter summaries. So we started with chapter five, which opens on Firepaw's first day of training. Graypaw and Firepaw go on a patrol of the ThunderClan territory with Lionheart and Tigerclaw. And we kind of get the beats of like settings in the book, such as the lumber mill, which the cats call Treecutplace, RiverClan border, and Fourtrees. And Fourtrees is the neutral place where all four clans meet periodically.

And Firepaw asks why the clans have to fight for resources instead of working together, which was very scandalizing to all the other cats.

Then they go patrol the ShadowClan border, which is a road. They call it the Thunderpath. And the cats seem to have absolutely no understanding of what a car is. Then they all head back to camp, and the next day Graypaw, Firepaw, and Ravenpaw practice hunting. Tigerclaw makes some mean remarks to Ravenpaw, who is noticeably scared of him. And the chapter ends with Firepaw catching and killing his first mouse in the forest.

Chapter six starts off with a time skip of two moons. Firepaw's out on the hunting patrol. He's about to catch a vole and then a strange cat interrupts him who turns out to be Graypaw. They have a little fight and then some banter about how loud Graypaw is. And as an apology for scaring away the vole, Graypaw offers to help Firepaw hunt. Along the way they see a fox, and Graypw's like, damn, a fox totally would have killed you before, haha. Isn't that funny?

And then their hunt takes them all the way to the Thunderpath, which Firepaw briefly touches, and as he touches it, he thinks he sees the eyes of a ShadowClan warrior across the road. And then they run away from the Thunderpath and go their separate ways. Chapter seven, great chapter, instantly opens on Firepaw getting attacked by an unknown cat, who helpfully announces that she's Yellowfang in third person. Firepaw is like, wow, Yellowfang looks all fucked up and old and gross, and then attacks her again because she's trying to hunt in ThunderClan territory. And there's a fight scene between them in which Firepaw eventually wins. Yellowfang is like, better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot.

And then compares him to a kittypet, which really riles up Firepaw. But he decides he's going to help her and get her some food because he's a nice boy. He catches a rabbit and Yellowfang eats it, and then Firepaw eats some of the leftover scraps because he's hungry. But in doing so he is breaking the warrior code of feeding the clan before himself. And then, oh no, ThunderClan cats show up.

So chapter eight. A lot happens. Firepaw and Yellowfang are confronted by the ThunderClan patrol, which includes Bluestar and Tigerclaw and Graypaw. And Bluestar's like, I hope you had a good reason for breaking the warrior code and feeding the enemy and yourself. But then Bluestar realizes Yellowfang is in fact ShadowClan's former medicine cat. Some of the other warriors say they should just kill Yellowfang but Bluestar decides to bring her back to camp.

On the way Graypaw explains that Yellowfang must be a loner now, which means not attached to any clan but not a kittypet, either. Once the patrol gets back to camp, Firepaw has to watch everyone else besides him eat because he broke the warrior code. He listens to Bluestar and Tigerclaw debate what to do with Yellowfang, and Bluestar explains that they should keep Yellowfang around because she might share ShadowClan intel.

Bluestar calls a meeting and then delivers the news that they couldn't find a single WindClan cat in WindClan territory and that ShadowClan appeared to have attacked WindClan. Everyone is shocked. Bluestar decides that ThunderClan has to hunker down and prepare themselves for a possible ShadowClan attack. And she also decides the apprentices need to be trained faster and takes Firepaw on as her own apprentice. But then Firestar-- Firestar, whoops. Bluestar. Bluestar gives Firepaw his punishment, which is to take care of Yellowfang, and hunt for her, and clean up her "dirt," quote unquote.

Our last chapter is chapter nine. Firepaw goes over to talk to Yellowfang, where she taunts him for being a former kittypet. Firepaw then psychoanalyzes her and is like, you're just humiliated that you have to rely on any cat, which Yellowfang seems impressed by, and they're kind of chill after that. Three days later, the apprentices are heading out for training, and Sandpaw and Dustpaw mock Firepaw for being Yellowfang's caretaker and the fact that Bluestar still has yet to actively train him.

After Firepaw catches Yellowfang's breakfast, there's a scene where Yellowfang reacts very badly to a kitten running into her and imply some sort of bad backstory about her and children. And then there's some scene setting about how ThunderClan is fortifying their camp for an attack. Firepaw goes to visit Spottedleaf, the medicine cat, for some supplies for Yellowfang, and Firepaw feels, quote, "suddenly cheerful and tingling with energy" after the meeting.

There's a few more scenes with caring for Yellowfang and hunting, and then there's a scene where Graypaw offers to bring food to Yellowfang instead and has to overeat to cover up when Tigerclaw confronts him. And the chapter ends with Firepaw running off to look after Yellowfang again. So that's all of our chapters for this week. Anyone have opening thoughts?

JULIAN: Firepaw needs to learn road safety.

PAZ: Okay, the fact that Firepaw doesn't know what a car is? Kinda...

JULIAN: He used to be a kittypet!

PAZ: Yeah, I mean like I guess he's never been to the vet to get his balls cut off, but he probably still like saw out the window every day.

JULIAN: Did he never see his humans like go get groceries?

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: Did they not bring him home in a car? I have so many questions.

LIZ: Maybe he was asleep. He's just a little baby.

JULIAN: That's true.

PAZ: He is a little baby. I do have to rescind my call out post for Firepaw because I think Julian pointed out that he is six months old and is--

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: --just a little guy, so.

LIZ: He's so little.

JULIAN: Now I did see that. I did see that in an Amazon review so I don't know if it's canon or not.

PAZ: I mean, I guess it's true he has to be pretty young if he hadn't gone to get neutered yet.

JULIAN: He's just a baby, and he has baby's first crush on Spottedleaf.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Yeah, I think we can get to that.

LIZ: I've got some highlights from that I wanna talk about.

PAZ: Yeah, do we want to kind of go a little bit in chronological order?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean the first chapter is kind of just more shit about patrolling and stuff.

JULIAN: He does do that-- he suggests that they all share prey, but the other cats are too tied to the scarcity mindset.

PAZ: Yes, that is definitely, like, once again, there is extreme like cat nationalism, like very, very strict like border control. And also, like, xenophobia, and absolutely no sharing resources.

JULIAN: It seems like, aside from that one question, though, he's bought into it very quickly because like there's one point where he smells the other cats and he's like, Oh, they smell nasty.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: And it's like, what, what are you talking about?

PAZ: That, yeah, that, like, cultural conditioning real fast.

LIZ: Well, he's like, he's a baby so he's just imprinted instantly I guess. Not that it's good, but um, yeah, the smell thing comes up very soon when he sees or smells the other cats. Like oh, it's sour and bad.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: I think they all smell sour and bad because they're just living in a forest, probably,

PAZ: Who... I don't know. I don't, I mean, cats still groom themselves. That's the good thing about cats.

JULIAN: I mean, Yellowfang smells sour. I'm jumping ahead, though. The descriptions of hunting are like very... They make me want to hunt. They're very good to read.

PAZ: Yeah, I think, like the hunting and fighting descriptions are all really good.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Although I do, I do think that like written out... Liz, I think you're cutting out a whole bunch for me.

LIZ: Yeah, I think I am. I don't... Let me try restarting from the beginning, I guess.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: Sorry, one second.

PAZ: That's okay.

JULIAN: It's okay.

LIZ: Hello?

JULIAN: Oh, hello.

PAZ: Hello.

LIZ: Hi.

PAZ: Welcome back.

LIZ: Hi. I hope it sticks this time.

PAZ: We're being censored.

LIZ: We are. We said too much about the balls.

PAZ: Okay, so we were talking about hunting, hunting and fight stuff.

LIZ: Right.

PAZ: I was gonna say is that the hunting and fighting is all very well written, but the like written out cat sounds are extremely funny.

JULIAN: Oh god.

PAZ: Like I have a page open here to the Yellowfang and Firepaw fight. I'll read some for us. "Grawr. Yow."

LIZ: Go on.

JULIAN: Somebody learned about onomatopoeia in English class.

PAZ: I think it's great, I think it's so characterful.

LIZ: There's a part later when Yellowfang is laughing and it's written out as like mrr-ow-ow-ow.

PAZ: This, I think, Julian said it last episode, said is dead disease. Also must write out all sound.

JULIAN: No, I think my favorite, and maybe this is the one you're talking about, Liz, where it's "'Reow-wow-wow,' Yellowfang screamed in agony." And you know, when I hear the sound "ow-wow," I definitely think agony.

LIZ: Well, that's what I say when I'm in agony, like, ow, owie. We're the same, me and cats.

PAZ: Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

LIZ: I actually word searched "said" just to check, Didn't look--

JULIAN: Oh good.

LIZ: Don't worry, I didn't look past the chapters we read, and it only comes up when someone else is talking like in dialogue. Like Person A is being like, oh, person B said this.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

LIZ: There are a few instances of “said” as a dialog indicator later, but um, I didn't look--

PAZ: Do you have a count on that, or does it not give you that?

LIZ: I don't think it gives you the count on Libby.

PAZ: Darn.

JULIAN: Let me see if it does on my reader. Yeah, it definitely gives me a count for other words, because I just did a search for Yellowfang.

PAZ: Oh, please tell me how many times “said” is in this book.

JULIAN: So “said” appears in this entire book, this entire, like 20 chapter book--

PAZ: It's almost 300 pages, I think.

JULIAN: Yeah, so, do we want to do bets, over/under?

PAZ: Okay. Over 25.

LIZ: I'm going to say, under 100.

JULIAN: It is 34 times.

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: In this entire book.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: That is not a lot.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: And it's not that the cats don't talk. They talk a lot.

LIZ: They meow a lot, and they yowl, and they mew.

PAZ: And purr. They're not saying.

JULIAN: They purr so much.

LIZ: Oh, we need to talk about the purr.

JULIAN: We have to talk about the purring.

LIZ: I've got it right in front of me.

PAZ: Yeah? You want to read it, or?

LIZ: Yeah, I know we're jumping ahead a little but, um.

PAZ: No, go ahead.

LIZ: Someone told me that it's usually a horny indicator. I was very alarmed because when we meet Yellowfang-- I'll read you the paragraph. "Yellowfang seemed to sense the change in him. Her fierce orange eyes sparked with new respect. Tipping her head, and dropping eye contact, she started to back off. 'No need to be hasty now,' she purred in a silky tone."

PAZ: This to Firepaw?

LIZ: Yes, when they meet.

PAZ: Okay, I think I was saying like, just like in the world connotation-wise, purr is like, like flirty to me, because just of humans.

JULIAN: Same.

PAZ: But I don't think the book uses it that way, but it's so funny.

LIZ: Yeah, I hope not. because when this happened I was like, Oh, is this like the girl cat that's going to be the love interest, or whatever.

[Julian snorts]

PAZ: No.

LIZ: But no, she's like an old lady.

JULIAN: Oh my god, yeah, no, Yellowfang, especially like "purred in a silky tone." Yeah, that, to me, reads very horny.

PAZ: Yeah, like I know they're cats but, like, we're not. We are humans reading it, and I think words have connotations. But I guess also, we're not 12. So maybe...

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: I guess it's supposed to come off as more menacing, because she's trying to menace. I think.

PAZ: Like sinister.

JULIAN: I think she's trying to be snarky, kind of.

LIZ: Yeah. But it was just very alarming to read the first time

JULIAN: Oh, we did learn-- I made a note of this in chapter six when we see the fox, they also discuss badgers.

[Liz gasps]

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: We do learn that Halftail was not born with the name Halftail and that, I guess, was not his original warrior name because he lost his tail to a badger.

LIZ: Do you think he was like Mediumtail? Because there's already a Longtail.

PAZ: I've also made the same exact note of there being badger confirmation and also name change confirmation.

LIZ: Good for them.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean that's... is that like he changed his name, or like someone was like haha Halftail, and everybody started calling him Halftail?

LIZ: Aw, that's sad.

PAZ: That would be very sad.

LIZ: Maybe he's like I survived a badger. I'm Halftail now. Check it out. Badgers show up in a lot of these books with animals doing violence.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: I've never seen a badger. I don't even think I've seen a badger at a zoo.

JULIAN: Do they live in North America? I should know this but I super don't.

LIZ: They do, yeah.

PAZ: They do? I know we have wolverines, which are even scarier.

LIZ: Or mm, maybe, this is a book written by eight British people, right?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Right. Oh, there are American badgers, but they're a different species.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

LIZ: So they're British badgers.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: I see.

JULIAN: I'm pulling up their-- yeah, yeah, the European badger is across basically all of Europe except the very top of Scandinavia.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Those motherfuckers can move.

JULIAN: And some of the islands. Oh, there aren't any American badgers on the East Coast. That's why I have not seen any of them.

LIZ: Well, you're safe then. They're real mean.

PAZ: Are they?

LIZ: I say that like I've seen them. I haven't.

PAZ: I don't know anything about badgers, except that they attacked Halftail, but um, speaking of cat stuff. Lots of balls talk last section. Gotta say, there is a real focus on pee also.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: And there's lots of mention of spraying to mark territory. Once again, the things this series chooses to be realistic about.

JULIAN: See, so I was unclear whether that was actually pee, or whether it was like-- because I know that cats will, like, are described as like spraying their scent, but I don't know if that's actually peeing, or if it's like coming from their scent glands, because I do not have experience with non-neutered male cats.

PAZ: I have a lovely description for you.

JULIAN: Oh, great, thank you.

PAZ: From google.com. "Spraying is when a cat backs up to a vertical surface with their tail erect and squirts urine."

JULIAN: Goddammit.

PAZ: I just...

LIZ: Well, now we have confirmation.

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

PAZ: Why, why does this book have to be realistic about the worst things?

JULIAN: There was so much focus on Yellowfang's absolutely gnarly parasite situation.

LIZ: Oh, the-- I remember what they call it. It's her "rump."

JULIAN: They're like-- there was a description of Firepaw crunching her fleas between his teeth.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: No, no.

JULIAN: And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever read.

PAZ: Yeah, like when he got the punishment of being like, Oh, you have to go take care of Yellowfang, like some other cats even said like, oh I hope you're good at crunching fleas or whatever.

JULIAN: I did not think that was like a-- do they have to crunch-- do the other cats have fleas? Like are they worried that they're going to get fleas from her? Do they have to crunch all the fleas for all of the elders? I'm very curious about the flea situation in this camp where all the cats live together.

PAZ: Well, you're not gonna get the answer to that. But you will get the realistic pee experience.

LIZ: The pee is such a dramatic reveal, too, because it's like-- there's a moment of horror because they find out that ShadowClan's like all up in their territory or something. And it's because, oh, someone's been spraying here.

PAZ: Yeah, I know.

LIZ: Also wait, during the flea... thing, it's shown that like Firepaw can use his paws to like put the, whatever medicine on, right?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, he puts the mouse bile on with his paws and then has to go wash them in the river. Is that a thing that cats do?

PAZ: I don't think so.

LIZ: Why did he have to crunch, then? Couldn't he just like--

PAZ: Well, fleas are too tiny.

JULIAN: Yeah, the mouse bile was for the ticks, to get the ticks to release.

LIZ: Oh right.

JULIAN: She is rife with parasites.

PAZ: Should we just talk about Yellowfang while we're talking about her parasite situation?

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah, she's also the whole second half of the chapters we read, basically, so.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I love her.

LIZ: She's mean and good.

PAZ: Yeah, we all established that we love her before we started talking about this chapter. But yeah, she rules. She's just like an old mean, cool cat.

JULIAN: I mean, I'm always a sucker for a mean old lady. And that's her. Plus apparently she has, like every other female character in the series, child trauma.

PAZ: I know, I got to that scene, and I'm like, oh god, come on.

LIZ: It comes so suddenly. I also have that bookmarked, cause it happened while she was just like being mean to some kids. Let me see. Yeah, she like, she says, "'I have no kits,' Yellowfang spat." And then she turns around and then she sounds very wistful. And then she says, specifically, "accidents seem to happen to kits when I'm around them." Just as like conversation.

JULIAN: Just as a normal thing you say to the child who's caring for you.

LIZ: To the child who's caring for you, in front of even younger children.

PAZ: I mean, Firepaw did like a full psychoanalyze scene on her, so we're getting real personal here.

JULIAN: As a kittypet, he knows all about Freud.

PAZ: Yeah, new Firepaw lore, just dropped. Avid reader of Freud. But yeah, I think it was brought up that like, oh, there's a lot of weird plots about like child loss and infertility in these books. And I don't remember well enough to say so. But I'm like, this is it. This is it coming over the horizon at us.

JULIAN: Yeah, if I remember correctly, there's a lot of them, to the point that I gave my medicine cat OC some of her own child trauma.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: It just seemed like the thing to do.

LIZ: Do the cats have a low birth rate?

PAZ: I don't think so.

LIZ: Is it cause there's like some, some guy out there just like catching and neutering cats, because he thinks it's safer for the cat population? Is there just like one vet who's everyone's enemy in this book?

PAZ: No, no. We've already established you can't be a warrior if your balls are cut off. Like I just don't think they'll let you into the camp, so.

LIZ: Does it only apply to like male cats, though, or, or is there--

PAZ: No, I don't think so. I don't remember anything about being like an unnatural infertility thing.

LIZ: Alright that's good, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah it's mostly like they lose cats who are already born.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Or like they can't have children because they're a medicine cat and it's forbidden.

PAZ: Spoiler, they do.

LIZ: Yeah, I kind of assumed.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't remember what Yellowfang's child relationship situation is. But I assume we'll find out.

LIZ: I don't know, hearing that there is going to be more of this from many corners has a very like Whedonesque foreshadowing.

PAZ: Yeah, okay, I was trying to think of like, Oh, who's that person who does like weird infertility plots all the time. Yeah, yeah, it's Joss Whedon.

JULIAN: Now that you mentioned that the cats are all barefoot also.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No. I'm saying no but there are a lot of like foot names also.

PAZ: If they ever make a Warriors Cat movie--

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: --they know who to call up. It's Joss Whedon.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Ugh, god.

LIZ: Warrior Cats as directed by Quentin Tarantino. [laughs]

JULIAN: I would bet money that somewhere there's like a animated Warrior Cats video set to some like Pulp Fiction dialogue or something.

PAZ: Oh my god, you're probably right.

JULIAN: Listeners, if you find it, tweet it at us.

PAZ: Please.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: Alright, but putting the feet aside. Yeah, we love Yellowfang here. Is there anything else we want to say about her?

JULIAN: I want her and Spottedleaf to talk, but they do not seem to yet.

PAZ: I did write down that Yellowfang also calls Spottedleaf like, “pretty little medicine cat.” I was like, damn, okay. Yeah, I want them to talk. I also think Firepaw was rude as hell when he described her. Real grody description.

LIZ: Yeah, she, she just got like, what, attacked by some badgers right? That's why she's all fucked up?

PAZ: Yeah, that's what happened.

LIZ: Yeah, sure. Anyway.

JULIAN: Definitely.

LIZ: You should be a nicer young man. Just because you live in the forest doesn't mean you don't have to be nice to little old ladies.

PAZ: That's actually kinda like--

JULIAN: He should respect his elders.

PAZ: Yeah, Bluestar is very insistent, like, be nice to elders, which is nice.

LIZ: Yeah, there's the part where the other young cats are making fun of Firepaw for having to take care of her. And then she's like, it's not embarrassing to take care of old people.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: That's a nice lesson, I think.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I'm also, I know we don't get it in these chapters, but Bluestar. I want more Bluestar content.

LIZ: She's good.

PAZ: She kinda hasn't really been a character in focus yet so far. She's kind of been like giving speeches and orders.

LIZ: I'm like, assuming she's gonna step in more since she has to train Firepaw, right?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yes. Yeah, no. We'll see more from her if I remember correctly.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm pretty sure, I mean, she's a pretty important character.

JULIAN: She'll be a girl boss on screen.

PAZ: Please.

JULIAN: What was the pun that Gabe was mad that we didn't make? Cat-paw-talism?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I think it was instead of capitalism, cat-- catpawtalism or something like that.

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: It's weird because they don't have catpawtalism.

JULIAN: They don't.

PAZ: There is a scarcity-- they have like, they share. They share resources but there is a scarcity narrative.

JULIAN: It's like, socialism, but like, each of the clans is like its own little socialist state.

PAZ: It's nationalism, and then socialism.

LIZ: Just a little xenophobia, just for flavor.

PAZ: There's so-- that's another thing. There's so much. There was even some eugenics-esque stuff that showed up.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Yeah, where-- I forget who, but somebody was saying-- it was Yellowfang. She's like, kittypet blood is not the same as warriors blood.

JULIAN: Oh right.

LIZ: Oh yeah.

PAZ: And I was like, whoa. Slow down there.

LIZ: He's just like a little baby.

JULIAN: Also all cats are the same.

PAZ: Yeah, all cats are queens.

LIZ: It's true. Also you think they'd be like, less like hard on the blood stuff on account of like all of them probably being like stray cats, right.

PAZ: Yeah, these aren't like wild cats with like the species. They're just stray cats.

LIZ: Yeah, they're just, whatever. It's not like any of them are, I don't know, like purebred Scottish Folds or something.

PAZ: I think a pure--

JULIAN: Well, according to that one drawing, Yellowfang is clearly Persian.

PAZ: Yeah, so, so I have the Cats of the Clan book, which comes with full illustrations of all the important cats. And there was a Yellowfang illustration in there, and she was indeed a Persian cat.

LIZ: Maybe she's like, she's just like, she's got a Persian cat dad or something.

PAZ: No but, but--

JULIAN: Her dark secret is that she's got like a kittypet ancestor somewhere.

[Liz gasps]

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, cause she's--

JULIAN: I'm making that up. I don't know if that's the case.

PAZ: We can add that lore in.

LIZ: I mean, that must be the case for like a good amount of the population, given how stray cats happen?

JULIAN: Right? Also like, otherwise how do the cats avoid inbreeding?

LIZ: Mm.

PAZ: I have a cat story of my own. So when I was younger we had a cat, Maria, and she kept like getting out of the house and getting pregnant before we could get her to the vet. She had like three litters. And she just kept doing this like, over and over again because we couldn't get her to the vet fast enough like after she had the kids. So she had like three litters like that. She was going out there and, you know, sharing tongues with--

LIZ: No.

PAZ: With some stray cats.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: There is a really tender scene where Graypaw and Firepaw share tongues together and I did just write down "gay."

PAZ: They are really cute.

JULIAN: In my little comment.

PAZ: They're very, very cute.

LIZ: They're sweet.

JULIAN: They're really cute. Graypaw goes out on a limb for him a lot. He's still exposition, he still has JRPG protagonist syndrome, or protagonist friend syndrome, but he's a sweet little guy. They're cute together.

PAZ: Yeah, I think they're very cute and it is gay. Is it gay to share tongues with your friend?

LIZ: Makes you think. Um, sorry, what were you saying before, before we got to...

PAZ: I don't know. We were talking about cat eugenics. Uh...

LIZ: No, you were talking about your old cat, right?

PAZ: Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, she just kept going out and getting pregnant with stray cats, so like, who's to say there's, like, kittypet blood in there, in these clans.

LIZ: She's the mother of all clans.

JULIAN: I do have a note about how evil-coded ShadowClan constantly is. That their leader, that their series of leaders were Raggedstar and then Brokenstar.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It's like, who's naming these cats?

PAZ: That's also something I wanted to talk about. Because they're so evil coded, like who said like, Oh, we're gonna be the evil clan. Let's all give ourselves evil names.

JULIAN: I want to pick a name that makes me sound like a real leader: Brokenstar. Like, okay.

LIZ: Maybe they're just like, goth.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: They might just, it's a clan full of little edgelords.

LIZ: Yeah. ThunderClan is like preps.

PAZ: Jocks. Or preps.

LIZ: No, they've got a jock thing, I think. You're right.

PAZ: Yeah so ShadowClan is the goths. ThunderClan is the jocks. Maybe RiverClan is the preps?

LIZ: They could also be jocks, but like they play water polo.

PAZ: Wait, what, Julian?

JULIAN: Oh, I was gonna say that RiverClan gives me stoner vibes, because they like, chill out by the river a lot, and they're all fat and happy.

PAZ: I don't remember them enough to say so.

JULIAN: Because they have a whole other source of food that all the other cats don't have, because they can eat fish.

PAZ: Why don't they-- but like Firepaw was hunting by a stream. Why don't they just also catch fish?

LIZ: Is it because they can't swim? Can they swim?

PAZ: He went in the water.

LIZ: He like, just like stood in it. That's different from swimming.

PAZ: Well, that's all you need to do to catch fish.

JULIAN: Maybe the stream isn't big enough to support a big fish population, you know.

PAZ: Maybe, yeah. The maps show the landscape, kind of.

JULIAN: Is there a sense of how big the streams are?

PAZ: Okay, well, that--

JULIAN: Is there a scale marker?

PAZ: No scale marker. Does say river by the border with RiverClan, and then there's like little streams going off into the forest. So yeah, maybe they're not big enough, but who knows.

LIZ: That's so sad. Cats would love fish.

PAZ: They would. RiverClan has a monopoly, and they must be stopped.

LIZ: RiverClan is like having their own sashimi every night, and I don't know. They should teach the art of fishing, and maybe that'll bring all the clans together. Finally there is peace. Just so they can get the fishy.

PAZ: No, you can't share resources, absolutely. It's against the warrior code.

LIZ: Why? It's like...

JULIAN: The warrior code rule number one is don't share resources.

PAZ: Yeah, hold on, I gotta go get the exact thing that Tigerclaw says, cause I was like, okay. Okay, here it is. "'It is our clan loyalty that makes us strong,' Tigerclaw meowed in agreement. 'If you weaken that loyalty you weaken our chances of survival.'"

JULIAN: Well, damn.

PAZ: This was in direct response to Firepaw being like, why don't we all share?

JULIAN: Damn.

LIZ: It's not like they don't have a concept of sharing. They clearly do it within their clan. It's like here is the communal food hole, which is, you know, hole is what it's called in these chapters, so that's what I'm gonna go with. And then everyone can like, eat. I don't know.

JULIAN: I'm also concerned about like prey decomposition in the hole, in the hole that they bury all these mice in.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Maybe it's just like, aged beef.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: I don't think these cats discovered the concept of curing food. Once again, the things this book chooses to be realistic on versus not realistic on are baffling.

JULIAN: Right?

LIZ: Do the cats at any point discover cooking?

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: No, they're very afraid of fire.

LIZ: I don't know, they have medicine. That's just like cooking for your health.

PAZ: Is it?

LIZ: Yeah, gotta mix some liquids together. Now it's a serum that I eat, or whatever.

PAZ: I don't think they mix anything, though. It's just like herbs. Mouse bile, poppy seeds. I guess we're fuckin taking opioids.

LIZ: Poppy seeds are harvested. That's like pre-cooking. That's getting your mise en place, right?

PAZ: I don't think...

JULIAN: We can't get into an argument about what cooking entails.

PAZ: We have not talked about Spottedleaf yet, and Firepaw.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: His tingles.

PAZ: So we were informed by other former fans that these books are weirdly horny. And I think we got the first glimpse of that here.

LIZ: Can I read you guys a section?

PAZ: Yes, please.

JULIAN: Oh yes.

LIZ: So to set the scene, Firepaw has gone to Spottedleaf to get some medicine, medicine which is very romantic. They describe the bile in some detail. It's like some moss soaked in it on a stick, and she says to him, don't get in your mouth, because it tastes nasty. [soft jazz begins to swell] But before that, she passes it to him, and the sentence reads, "He tasted her warm sweet breath, as he took the bark strip between his teeth."

PAZ: I like put my head in my hands at that passage.

LIZ: Losing my eyes.

PAZ: This is a--

JULIAN: 10 year old me had a lot of feelings about Spottedleaf. We're just gonna leave it there.

PAZ: I cannot wait. I love that like Firepaw's getting his tingles or whatever. Spottedleaf is just like, no idea. She's just chilling. She's just doing her job. Yeah, we know why Rusty has to have his balls now, wink.

LIZ: No. I guess he's like getting older right because it says two moons have passed.

PAZ: Yeah, I wasn't sure like what amount of time that signified, actually, if that was like months or like moon cycles.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's a moon cycle. It's like a month.

LIZ: Yeah, so like two months.

JULIAN: So, yeah.

PAZ: That's a lot for a cat.

JULIAN: Roughly.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, so he's like, you know, eight or nine months old now.

PAZ: Cats are pretty big at that point.

JULIAN: That's old enough.

PAZ: Old enough to have a crush on this medicine cat who is literally just doing her job.

JULIAN: With her warm sweet breath.

LIZ: She's, she's handing him the worst medicine possible for the worst affliction possible, which is ass ticks, and he can still find time in his heart to feel romantic. So good for him I guess.

PAZ: Met over ass ticks.

JULIAN: They didn't even. She doesn't have to do anything with the ass ticks.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: She's delegated that.

PAZ: Well, I mean that's because the Yellowfang like won't let her come near her. I don't-- because Yellowfang's too proud or whatever.

JULIAN: Her past.

LIZ: I guess, does the doctor ever go to the doctor? Makes you think.

PAZ: Yeah, isn't the thing with medicine cats that there's only ever like one, and then the apprentice? Like that feels like a bad system.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It's a terrible system.

PAZ: Well, if your medicine cat dies then you're just fucked. So...

LIZ: I mean you've got like their teenage apprentice, which is probably fine.

PAZ: But Spottedleaf doesn't even have an apprentice right now, I don't think. Okay, I think that's all we have to say about the reading for this week. So we're gonna move on to another exciting activity.

JULIAN: Oh I love that the first-- we found, or Liz has found an article.

PAZ: I think Liz should take us through it.

LIZ: All right. Well, I think we've already expressed some dissatisfaction with how the canon clans work, which is why it is very fortuitous that I found, just by chance, a wikiHow article on how to make a Warrior Cats clan with your friends. Last updated October 2020, so you know it's recent.

PAZ: Oh my god, it's in the cat role playing category subsection which I guess...

JULIAN: Oh, I am very excited to see what else is in there.

PAZ: Oh, it's only one other thing. And it's scary.

JULIAN: But that's an exploration for another time.

LIZ: I don't know if I want to look. Alright, well first of all just for some visuals, the thumbnail preview for the link to this is a little cat man giving a thumbs up to an elderly cat person. Just cat people.

PAZ: Yeah, we're talking like anthro people. Don't think that's in the books, but okay.

LIZ: He does have the Warrior Cats bangs, or at least some bangs, so there is some connection here to the house style. Not very much, I would think, cause again, very humanoid, but.

JULIAN: Yeah, he has thumbs.

LIZ: He does have-- well, cats have thumbs.

PAZ: No, they don't.

JULIAN: No, they don't.

LIZ: Yeah they do. I mean they're not thumbs, but they're like thumb-ish.

PAZ: They don't have thumbs.

LIZ: I think you need to expand your definition of thumbs. It's not my fault you're so close minded.

JULIAN: Also they're wearing clothes, which is not...

PAZ: No. Warrior Cats...

JULIAN: I guess they're wearing clothes because this is a rated G wikiHow article, but. This old cat is in like robes. He looks at Luke Skywalker, or sorry Obi Wan, Obi Wan.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait. Don't you mean Obi Nyan?

PAZ: Okay, well, you know, moving on to this article. Should we read the beautiful description too?

LIZ: Of course. "Do you love Warrior Cats? Do you have friends that know Warrior Cats? Try making a Warrior Cats clan. It can be lots of fun for everyone. But you need to make sure to keep it realistic and fun."

JULIAN: Why do I have to keep it realistic?

PAZ: Who says it has to be realistic?

LIZ: Yeah, that's very limiting. So let's-- actually, this is a huge layout. I have to zoom out to be able to read anything, because it just takes up the whole page. Yeah, there's an image of some anime people sitting around a table, arms crossed for the women. One glasses guy. And they say, "first, ask your friends if they're interested in making a clan." Well, are you interested?

JULIAN: Yes, absolutely.

PAZ: Yes, I sure am.

LIZ: Mm, good, good. They do make a note to clarify that "if one of your friends says no, ask if they want to be a rogue, loner, kittypet, or even another animal."

PAZ: Hold on a second.

JULIAN: "If they still refuse, don't force them to play along." How do you force someone to roleplay a cat?

PAZ: I am not unlocking this door until you meow.

LIZ: You put them in a horrible labyrinth and say, you role play, or I will not let you out.

JULIAN: God. Alright, step two.

LIZ: If someone is new to the world of Warriors, tell them the key things about the books. I think I have to let you guys take over here.

JULIAN: Sure. Well, do you know about the clans, the warrior code, the ranks, and the traditions?

LIZ: No, I am just a mere kitty pet.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Well.

[laughter]

We don't have time on the podcast for me to explain the ranks and the traditions, right at this moment, but can I suggest that you start off as a kit or apprentice?

LIZ: You may. That sounds intriguing. Step three, decide on the ranks. And just to give you a little flavor, there is an image here. It is a pyramid of cat icons in silhouette, so it's very mysterious, but one is circled, and it is one cat icon that is a full picture of a cat. You can see its face, and it is circled to indicate decision.

So I think we need to decide our ranks. I've got-- I know nothing about this. So, I'm an apprentice, let's say. What about you guys?

PAZ: Well, don't you want to read the flavor text?

LIZ: It's a lot of flavor text. Do you want me to?

JULIAN: It's a lot.

PAZ: I don't know, some of it's pretty good.

LIZ: I'll go through it, then. "Every clan needs a leader. This must be an experienced reader, whoever has read the most books or gained the most knowledge, and somebody that can be a good role player."

PAZ: Well, between me and Julian, I think Julian might have actually read more books because I never read all of the first series.

JULIAN: I was gonna say that you've read more of the books, because I pretty much stopped reading after the, like, halfway through the second series. So.

PAZ: Maybe it balances out.

LIZ: I think you need to fight to the death.

PAZ: Well, no, this is our clan. What if we're like co-leaders?

JULIAN: That works.

PAZ: Yeah. This is our clan, our house.

JULIAN: This is our clan. We can make the rules.

LIZ: You're right.

PAZ: Okay, we're the co-leaders.

LIZ: Well, leaders, next you need to choose a deputy.

JULIAN: I'm sensing that we're going to run into an issue.

LIZ: Wait, wait. "If your clan is nefarious, the leader should make sure the deputy is wicked unless the leader isn't actually evil and they want their clan to be well off."

PAZ: Is our clan nefarious?

JULIAN: Ooh, that is a good question.

PAZ: See, it's fun to be evil, but also I know we've had issues with the insular nature of canon clans.

JULIAN: Right, see, would the other clans think that we're evil because we're breaking the warrior code so much?

PAZ: Ooh, they probably would.

LIZ: That's true.

PAZ: So we'll take in everyone and we love to share: evil.

LIZ: We go to the meeting thing that they have, and we bring everyone like little gift baskets and they hate that.

PAZ: They hate it so much.

JULIAN: Oh, perfect. Again, it's saying that we should have at least three warriors, which I think, I think we're going to run into an issue because there are three of us.

PAZ: No, no, we can make our cats the warriors.

JULIAN: Oh, good call.

LIZ: You're right. So we have four technically.

JULIAN: Oh, there we go. Which of our cats would be a medicine cat?

PAZ: Well, Lu just came up here and meowed. So, I think she's volunteering.

JULIAN: Well, there you go. She sounds like she's a good role player who can act fast.

PAZ: Yeah, she was found in the woods too. She probably knows all about the herbs.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: She knows the mosses and the leaves.

JULIAN: She's a little hedgewitch.

PAZ: Okay, that's settled.

LIZ: Dr. Lu.

JULIAN: Yep. And then, Liz, are you an apprentice?

LIZ: I'm Lu's apprentice, I think.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: Wait, you're a medicine cat apprentice?

LIZ: Yes, I don't think I'm very combat heavy.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: I like this.

LIZ: "A medicine cat should be smart, quick learner who has read a good amount of the Warriors books." Which she of course has. "They don't actually need to know all that much about herbs, but suggest them searching up different plants and how they can be used."

PAZ: "Apprentices, despite common depiction, are close to the same size as warriors." Good to know. "And it's also fun to have elders." Chloe. I'm gonna volunteer Chloe for that. Thanks Linda.

JULIAN: Oh, yes, of course, Chloe is a storyteller.

LIZ: She is.

JULIAN: She has a lot to share.

PAZ: Okay, I think we got a good basis for our clan here.

JULIAN: "Step four, name your characters. Names are very important. If your cat has a certain interesting feature, like a disfigurement--" oh boy-- "you can add that into the name."

PAZ: Oh, wait, this article clarifies some lore. "Elders keep their warrior names unless something has changed about them." Thanks. Well, Julian and I-- oh.

LIZ: Oh?

PAZ: "Make sure all the names are natural unless they are kittypets (house cats.) You would hardly find a cat named Mustangpaw or a silly name like Awesomepaw, Cocoapaw, or Foampaw. This is why it's vital to have nature related names."

JULIAN: Oh, and then also an important point of information. "Do not create mean names, or someone could get hurt, refuse to join, or tell on you as bullies, which you don't want to be."

PAZ: That's good, that's good.

LIZ: That's good. Yeah, I'm gonna say, cats in our clan can just change them when they want to.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: You don't have to wait.

JULIAN: Yep. Name anarchy.

PAZ: Julian and I are co-leaders, so I guess we're star, something-star.

JULIAN: Right. I should have thought of something beforehand.

LIZ: Warrior cats name generator.

PAZ: List of flowers.

JULIAN: I'm gonna yoink the prefix of my old OC, and I'm gonna be Pinestar.

PAZ: Fuck yeah.

LIZ: Do we not want the one from fantasynamegenerators.com, which gave me Raccoonsbelly?

PAZ: Well, that's obviously your name.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: Fishnose.

PAZ: Oh, Fishnose is really good.

JULIAN: Fishnose is really cute.

LIZ: Curvybush.

JULIAN: That's obscene.

PAZ: Share tongues at the curvy bush.

LIZ: Cootbranch?

JULIAN: Can you link to this?

LIZ: Yeah, it's real bad, I think.

PAZ: Well, thank you fantasy name generators.com.

LIZ: Thank you with an asterisk for a caveat because I don't know about this one.

PAZ: Well anyway, my Warriors name is gonna be Larkstar. Thank you.

JULIAN: Oh, that's cute. Oh, I'm sorry I do have to shout out Eelkit, which is what the name just gave me.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yes.

LIZ: Oh, that's really good.

JULIAN: And I am going to be Eelstar.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: That's beautiful.

PAZ: Okay so, Eelstar and Larkstar are co-leaders and our trusted apprentice...

LIZ: Um, wait, do apprentices have the paw thing?

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: I liked fish.

PAZ: Fishpaw?

LIZ: I'll be Fishpaw, yeah.

PAZ: Hell yeah.

LIZ: I'm going hard for the fish that you-- I'm not really that big of a fish fan in real life. Please do not be mistaken.

JULIAN: That's where the role playing comes in.

PAZ: Yeah, really test your limits. Okay, step five, "tell all your friends about your character. They don't have to know everything, but make sure they know their personality, their aims in life, etc. Make sure they also know what your cat looks like. Pretend that they are blind and describe your cat to the best of your ability."

LIZ: That's not how blindness works, but okay.

PAZ: That's really not, yeah.

LIZ: WikiHow, be better.

JULIAN: Come on, wikiHow.

PAZ: Be better, wikiHow, with your traced art. Well, we are nefarious but only because we are good.

JULIAN: Right. I'm sensing, again an aquatic theme, which does lean into step six of choosing a habitat.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if we're beach cats?

PAZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: [gasps] Yes.

PAZ: Fuck yes.

JULIAN: Here we go. The second sentence of this is "you may be playing in your school playground, but your clan may whisk you away to a beautiful tropical island."

PAZ: Yes, we are in the tropical island.

LIZ: Love that.

JULIAN: On the beach, and we want everyone to come eat fish with us.

PAZ: We're on island time. That's why we're... so friendly.

LIZ: Do cats eat crabs?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I think so.

LIZ: We can.

PAZ: [typing] Do cats eat crabs? Yes. Cats can eat crab meat as a treat.

LIZ: Beautiful.

PAZ: Every week we have Crab Day where we eat crabs as a treat.

JULIAN: Can I sell you on the name for our clan?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Which is CrabClan.

PAZ: Ooh.

LIZ: Yes. Oh my god, time for crab. It's here.

PAZ: Do we want to be like ClawClan?

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: I can see that too but... crab.

JULIAN: That seems violent for how we are.

PAZ: We are nefarious.

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: We're nefarious because we're nice, though.

JULIAN: Are we overthrowing the clan order?

PAZ: Yes. Okay, we're actually like a community of revolutionary minded cats who have been exiled from the clans. Come to the beach.

JULIAN: Incredible. Come to the beach. We have crabs.

PAZ: CrabClan's good, though.

LIZ: Yeah. If we did do battle I think ClawClan would be also good, but we don't. The only battle we do is with crustaceans.

PAZ: I think we figured out our clan.

LIZ: We love to share resources.

PAZ: We have one more step though.

LIZ: Yeah?

PAZ: Seven.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: "Begin role play. Always accept new members. Have fun."

LIZ: All right, for our beloved listeners, if you want to join CrabClan, we welcome you with open arms and claws. Some of these questions at the end are kind of good, community questions.

PAZ: "What if nobody at my school even knows about the books?"

LIZ: [gasps] No.

PAZ: "Try telling your friends about it. Let them read a few books and then ask them if they want to join."

LIZ: "Is Flamepelt a good name? Yes, Flamepelt sounds like a name that would fit an orange cat with an energized or determined personality. Flamebounce or Flamestrike would also fit if you're looking to go exotic."

JULIAN: Same person who asked about Flamepelt also asked, lower down, "Is it okay if I do it by myself and imagine the other cats, or does it have to be with other people?"

LIZ: Oh no. Flamepelt, join our clan.

PAZ: Oh, come join CrabClan. "How long would this take? It could take from one day to two weeks to form your clan." Amateurs.

LIZ: No, no judgments, we are, remember, we're accepting.

PAZ: Oh you're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm the nefarious deputy.

LIZ: I knew it.

JULIAN: Oh, the tips are also really good. "Doing this outdoors will be the best setting as it will be more realistic. You can build caves if you use sheets." Pro tip.

PAZ: "First law of the warrior code is always be loyal to your clan." No. Striking that out of the books.

JULIAN: "If you have a real cat, include them in your plan. Make your cat an apprentice for a real Warrior Cats effect."

PAZ: We did that.

LIZ: We did it.

JULIAN: We've already done that.

PAZ: "Don't actually get into fights with clans."

LIZ: Yeah, that's a founding principle here.

PAZ: "If there is another clan around, make sure they know you're there and that you agree on borders and other important things like that. If you want to be hostile towards each other, make sure no one gets hurt. For prey, you can take little mice, squirrels, birds, etc, stuffed animals and place them around your territory to hunt."

JULIAN: "You can also use goldfish crackers, gummy mice, or any food that looks like clan prey."

LIZ: Wait, I don't remember if this is correct. Someone tell me if it's... isn't there like... so, at Trader Joe's there's like this thing they do where there's a big plastic lobster that they put around like one around the store.

PAZ: Like lobster gummies?

LIZ: No, like a plastic lobster.

JULIAN: I've never heard of this.

LIZ: If a child finds it, they get given a piece of candy.

JULIAN: That's so cute.

LIZ: I don't know if that's... if I'm remembering that correctly, but I have a big plastic lobster on top of my fridge. We could use that.

PAZ: There we go.

JULIAN: Well, there we go. That's our prey. Perfect.

PAZ: Well, I don't know. I think we got this on lock.

Yeah, I think we've created the perfect clan.

PAZ: Should we rate this? 89% of readers found this article helpful. I'm going to give it five stars. Very helpful.

JULIAN: I also found it very helpful.

LIZ: Oh, we forgot the very last tip.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Well, one of the last tips. "Don't attack your clan mates as this can get you banished from the clan." So, better watch out.

PAZ: Wait, hold on, what?

JULIAN: Is that a threat?

LIZ: [laughing] I was the nefarious one all alone. Wait. I'm sorry, there's warnings, different from tips. "Make sure nobody gets hurt. Make sure you don't eat any random berries you find outside. They could be poison."

JULIAN: Well, that's why we have you as the medicine cat apprentice.

LIZ: Moment of respect for the founding of our clan.

PAZ: Paws out for CrabClan.

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Perfect.

LIZ: Oh, we should have like, like how fantasy novels always have like house sayings, we should be like Paws and Claws.

JULIAN: Oh, that is good.

LIZ: Because that's what we have, but it also suggests unity. The image would be a paw shaking hands with a crab claw, even though we do eat them.

JULIAN: I mean, is there any unity greater than eating something?

PAZ: No. Well, I think that ties it up for today. Do people want to like plug their Twitters or something?

JULIAN: Sure. We should also plug the show Twitter.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

JULIAN: Which is @staircast.

PAZ: Staircast on Twitter.com.

LIZ: Because we've got one now.

PAZ: We do.

JULIAN: We sure do. It has beautiful art by Liz.

PAZ: Yes. Well, you can find me @ootron on Twitter. That is o-o-t-r-o-n.

JULIAN: You can find me @shipyrds, without an A. That's ship-y-r-d-s. I did not choose my handle based on podcast pronounceability.

LIZ: You can find me through detective work of your own. I'm not gonna make it easy for you guys.

PAZ: Wow, okay.

JULIAN: Liz is a mystery.

LIZ: Listen, if you want to be a warrior, you have to know how to hunt.

PAZ: Hi everyone, this is Paz from the future. We forgot to plug our email as well and we would love for people to send in questions or fun anecdotes about the series to read next episode. So if you have any, feel free to send them in to [email protected]. Thanks.

So, for next week we're gonna be reading chapter 10 through 14 so for anyone reading along, that's where we'll be at. And I think things are really gonna start popping off. So thanks everyone for joining us today, and may Starclan light your path.

LIZ: Paws and claws.

PAZ: Paws and claws. Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

#transcript #ep 02 #into the wild ep #ass ticks

0 notes

refractedglade · 7 years ago

Note

do all of them. or the odds. or the evens. honestly just do some I'm tired and dont feel like reading through them all :/

this is honestly a lot so it gets a cut. also wow way to abuse the question ask.

1. do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?

only ever had one I think, and that was back in… probably elementary school? I had monthly nightmares thanks to one of the least frightening episodes of Courage the Cowardly Dog, god bless you young me you tried your best

2. what is your favourite kind of fruit?

im torn between grapes and apples

3. sweet or savoury?

savory

4. what is your smallest/pettiest fear?

not even sure what the hell that means uhhhhhhhh

the fear that i am or will be mediocre at video games. it sounds dumb but at this point it’s one of the only quote-unquote skills I have that I can identify and im afraid to lose that

5. what is your least favourite vegetable?

peas

6. what is your favourite art movement?

surrealism I guess? I don’t know much about art movements tbh

7. do you drink milk?

fuck yes i do

8. what was the last line of the last book you read?

“A mob of Surly Thugs are there to greet you.

TO BE EVEN MORE CONTINUED.”

9. do you like bitter food?

not really

10. what is the most significant event in your life so far?

probably one of the several times i’ve moved since that always leads to meeting new people

12. what is your favourite breed of dog or cat?

I love labradors.

13. list your top 5 favourite turtle names.

what

Leonardo

Donatello

Michelangelo

Raphael

and uhhhhhhh

Coco Jumbo

14. what job would you have if you could have it without going through all of the school or experience that is required?

if I didnt have that Id probably get fired very soon for being shit at my job, but lets say public attorney, see how far I get in that bullshit

15. are there any names that you dislike so much that you would dislike the person with the name? what are those names?

no not really

16. what is your favourite letter?

either R or T, they’re both such helpful shortcuts for web browsing

17. are there any instruments you wished you played?

I wish I had continued learning piano when I was younger. I was in the middle of lessons when we moved for the second time and we just never got another teacher.

18. list your best friends.

@verbalmoonwalking and honestly even though we haven’t talked much in forever @wombathills

19. would you rather be a skeleton or a ghost?

a ghost, way more opportunities and less of a hassle (imagine trying to navigate through the world as reanimated bones)

also there’s already some people i’ve promised to haunt

20. do you prefer fish or lizards/snakes? (as pets)

i dont have much experience with lizards or snakes (although I did have an anole for a year or so). i guess fish, they’re just so incredibly low-maintenance

21. art or music?

weird way to phrase that considering music is art but music

22. what is your favourite type of flower?

unfortunately Ive never learned much about flowers, but I do really like when they’re blue

23. soup or salad?

souuuuup

24. are you good at keeping plants alive?

surprisingly yes! I’ve had two plants growing since late winter/early spring I think

25. do animals tend to like you?

heck yeaaaah

26. what is the worst book you’ve ever read?

the Book of Leviticus

there’s not really a good answer to this, if a book is terrible I either never got far enough to remember or read it for a school assignment and promptly forgot about it

27. do you collect anything?

too many thing, and most of them only for short periods of time. the only consistent collection i have is my Halley Labs music collection

28. how many pillows do you sleep with?

right now just two, used to be three

29. whats the latest you’ve ever woken up?

5 in the evening i think? I forget details since its been a few years, but after an all-nighter I pulled during my first finals of college I passed out at around 6 pm and woke up almost a full day later

no wait addendum: i think like 1-3 in the morning because of falling asleep around 8-11 am.

30. how many pictures are on your walls?

my room has… a painting and a poster

31. what age did you stop keeping stuffed animals on your bed?

honestly? i didn’t

32. what is your favourite candy?

Butterfinger, or if in moderation Twizzlers

33. what is your favourite baked good?

its not the real answer but a vivid image of a steaming baked potato keeps appearing in my head

actually the more i think about it the better that sounds, like its plain but theres a lot of room for customization there

34. do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

yeah, i actually sort of inherited it recently from my late grandfather, though I haven’t actually,,, used it yet.

35. do you wear jewelry?

nope, used to wear a fidget ring a lot but who knows where that went. if i ever find a really cool necklace I’ll probably start wearing that all the time though.

36. sunrise or sunset?

sunset, sunrises are pretty but its a pain in the ass waking up the early

also seeing something like that in the evening is just a better state of mind imo

37. do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

depends on both the music and my mood, generally at this point no headphones though just because when i listen to music its while driving

38. what was your favourite show as a child?

I had a weird sense of almost reverence for Digimon as a kid. My mom had forbidden me from watching Pokemon, and I only ever saw like 3 episode of DIgimon once by accident because a day care had their cassette tape. I barely saw any of it but I loved it.

Season 3 aka DIgimon Tamers is still a solid series, and I still vividly remember watching season 4 on TV when I was slightly older and finding it weird but cool (4 was where they could actually like combine with their digimon)

39. describe your favourite spot in your house.

im the basement goblin so the couch down there is for all intents and purposes mine. also its right next to the room with the heater so hell yeah.

40. do you like to be warm or cold?

I like to be in slightly cold environments so I can be the kind of warm that isn’t just warm but warmed up, like the feeling of being warm when things are cold is very good.

41. the best joke you have.

i think the best jokes i ever did done was editing like 20 different photos of a friend of mine into dumb joke images

one was his face on a tube of laundry soap with some dumb caption along the lines of “ah, this is my life now”

42. whats the weirdest thing that you’ve seen happen in a public place?

first thing that comes to mind is a futon frame on the side of a highway. now let me clarify:

-it was sitting upright, not like it had been tossed aside

-it was on the INSIDE side, not the outside

-no mattress in sight

just… there.

43. CD or digital?

CD, I’ve been conditioned to love owning physical copies of stuff. On that note, also cassette.

44. who do you miss right now?

good friends, my dog, my will to live….

45. if you could combine two places in the world, which two places would you choose?

if by world you meant universe, lets combine earth with some other planet and see what the fuck happens

if you meant earth then Michigan and Ohio, that’d make some shit way more convenient for me

46. describe the worst substitute teacher you’ve ever had.

one of my high school english teachers went on maternity leave, and so we had a sub for about ¾ of the school year. i forget a lot of why the class hated her but a lot of it just came down to she was not good at teaching, and we had to deal with that for almost a whole year.

47. do you believe horoscopes?

short answer is no. less short answer is that while I don’t really believe anything like that, i still enjoy looking at and considering them, especially when they’re in shitpost format.

my sister came back from a mission trip to Africa a while ago and brought me back a small gift she got overseas, a pair of small handmade dice. i’ve developed a habit where on some mornings I’ll roll them before my day starts to see how high I roll, and sometimes interpret that as what the day might be like. do i believe it? not especially. but I almost sort of pretend to believe it. that’s sort of how i treat horoscopes, except even a little less than that.

48. are you spiritual?

49. describe your pets ( or family if you dont have pets )

we had an extremely good dog named Zeus for a long time. yellow lab, energetic as hell in his youth and even in his old age. started having pain in his legs as he got older and eventually we had to put him down a year or so back.

he’s honestly part of the reason im not sure about getting pets in the future, i dont know if I want to go through that again.

50. are you good at getting over mistakes?

I guess? I mean I’m good at getting over that post-”I fucked up” anxiety for sure, that’s a skill I learned in college within like a year. After a bad test or something I just started forcing myself to say “fuck it it’s over can’t change anything now.”

#asks #saltierthanpearl

2 notes · View notes

lucysmuse · 5 years ago

Text

november 8, 2019

ive been home all week boarded up with bronchitis. needless to say its resulted in one big fat greek meltdown full of theatrics so many tears and a lot of despair about what im doing with my life. i think i might end it after all this, im not sure. decisions are hard to make what can i say.

im an art major and i have a huge issue with motivation, deadlines, a lack of guidance, and im an art major. what the fuhk am i even doing.

i havent made a single piece of art in weeks. its like when i was starting lithium. im terrified.

also forgot about eating today, unless a handful of peanut m&ms counts. ive been eating so awful lately; id feel bad for whoever would have to clean my body if i hung myself haha the hell that would put them through to deal with it

i finally got back to watching better call saul, caught up to where i left off, and continued on to what is now the latter half of season 2. i plan to finish and then jump right into the start of breaking bad again. i miss my old favorite show.

i wish i had friends who really cared about cinematography and aesthetics because i have been wanting to just drivel on about how breaking bad and its spinoffs are the perfect ode to modern americana; the sheer amount of domestic, tame, almost siesta-hazy shots of just. life in desert america. fuels me with the want to draw so many cowboys in opulent garb in various states of undress (hubba hubba). now that i got that straight white woman out of my system, Anyways.

my favorite part about the shows arent just that theyre interesting or edgy on the inside drama on the oustide, or the insane amount of ingenuity the show writers have (half the $hit they think up im astounded by and the other half my jaw is just on the floor start to finish), the long shots are what really gets me. theyre pausing, like taking a breath amongst all of the high wire, almost bleak scenes and plot regarding crime and how morally grey we all as people are. i also appreciate the humanity of each character -- theres some good parts in all, and bad parts in all that get more than a few lines. and even then -- hey, look at ernesto -- there is nuance. the show is so empty of fake characters. not a single one of them couldnt exist in real life for any reason. never do i question whether one character would or would not do something, because even if i were to have doubts gilligan & co back it up with so much context and reason that everything checks out before its even done.

better call saul centers on one of my favorite characters from the original series and gives him a backstory. his character is absolute tacky insanity and you want to know during the entirety of the original series what could possibly go on after walt leaves that office. and better call saul not only does that but drags you along for a much more adrenaline filled explanation than you could have possibly asked for.

but the still shots. god i love the still shots. like come on the theme to better call saul alone, with the overexposed fried images of oldsmobiles and phone books with gaudy ads and a statue of liberty inflatable. that alone is enough to wrap southwest americana of the past couple decades up in a tightly knotted bow. but then they go on, and let the freak flag fly in just about every episodes script. like come on they even bring up hummels. the scene they led into by wheeling the camera in on the seniors’ jello cart, thats genius. and complete with a tacky law ad at the bottom of the cup. the show from start to finish bleeds tack. and i love it. over the last couple months maybe a year or so i had kinda lost my grip on the cowboy blood i have, by which i mean this: if i were to be alive during the quote unquote wild west times i wouldve zipped out to the country to make a living on a ranch where id soon find a husband to spend my life with, there would be no discussion. to be out isolated with all that desert and not a single person to call you faggot or tranny or d*ke but yourself. thats the only thing i could possibly ask for. i could be me, and my husband would lovingly sew my nipples back on after i go insane and cut my tits off one night instead of bringing the horses in. a chestplate of scar tissue is miles more appealing than an a cup if you ask me. to go back to what i was saying, the cowboy blood in me is simply that--blood that fizzles and swims through my body and heats up at the idea of being in the desert and being myself, calling myself the man that i am with a man who loves me. (and some cool boots too)

i dont know what this post was. its not coherent, i forget to follow through on a thought a few times throughout, and i still dont know what i want to do with my life. what i do know is that before writing this i was debating slitting my wrists and now those thoughts have settled. i also have french homework to finish and a little over a season left of better call saul on netflix so i think with that i bid this post a passive adieu. think of the next entry as picking up where i left off.

song: me & the boys (& a bottle) by tokyo lucky hole

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sagebodisattva · 5 years ago

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Morality and Spiritual Training for Trolls

Alright. Morality and spiritual training for trolls. A common misguided tendency among many novice philosophers, or older rigid inflexible thinkers, (which is never good; as, that which is inflexible will inevitably crack, then eventually snap in half,) is this premature assumption that a lack of objective outputs automatically translates into subjective meaninglessness. That, there can be no such thing as morality; nor any purpose that could be derived that would be worthy of focus and discipline; all such assertions being complete and utter nonsense, and lame justifications for just plain laziness. And I’ll go into detail as to why. And oh, you know you don’t even have to worry about a thing, because of course I’m going to go into the why, ad nauseam.

So I got a couple of recent comments from an insidious troll; and seeing as how the comments are conveniently on topic, I’m going to serve them up, and then slap them down with brute force; dissect and deconstruct every nuanced detail of them, with sniper precision. Because that’s what I do.

A little backstory on this particular troll. We’ll call him, “dual-sock”. This troll might loosely be considered a former aspirant of enlightenment, who, for a brief time, earnestly gave a half hearted attempt to free his mind, but, ultimately, in the long run, failed on his path dismally, then quickly fell into the shadows of the darkness thereafter; and has since degenerated into a low wretched state; reduced to a vile repugnant creature; a loathsome abomination completely bereft of any positive qualities; a blighted deluded consciousness, whose overall potential has become completely mired by his own dark insatiable appetites for attachments, desires, and heavy negativity. It was the type of deterioration that saw this troll come to embrace sinister ideologies, such as nationalism, and just plain full out racism. This type of descent qualified the troll to be gagged, bound, blocked and buried. And he was indeed subsequently blocked from the Meta Sage channel. And thus, such was done.

Hence, the troll was CAST OUT of the fold, banished, and then exiled forever into oblivion, never to return. And, for awhile, the troll vanished; finding respite and refuge down in the bowels of the sewers; hiding deep in the sewage where no one could find him. But, eventually, he awoke from his deep troll hibernation, and gradually rose to the muck of the surface, where he would, once again, re-emerge, raising his ugly head up out of the slop and slurry; and has since been spending most of his time prowling around in the shadows of the internet landscape, lurking about under rickety bridges, and haunting the acres of old abandoned playgrounds; all the while festering in his malcontent; stewing in the juices of his own personal deep hatred for freedom and enlightenment. And so it was. And so shall it be.

Fast forward to current times. One morning recently, I noticed that this stalker troll is suddenly commenting again! So, either he somehow got unblocked, which is a basic impossibility, or, he simply created a new account, which, incidentally, is one of his greatest proficiencies. So very adept in his artful deceptions, yet so very incredibly bankrupt in the core fiber of his being. And so, he made a couple of new comments on a couple of different videos. And, as usual, has shown that he hasn’t grown any more insightful or intelligent with the passage of time. It might even be argued that he has regressed, and is now being passive aggressive, using a sock account to make an initial comment, then waiting to see if the Meta Sage would respond, and if and when I did, he would then have the opportunity to chime in to the conversation with a comment under his main account, responding on the thread without it seeming like he started the comment exchange. And it was this same type of comment configuration that occurred for both of his new comments on both of my videos. A desperate ploy for attention. Shameful. And pathetic. And exactly why he’s acquired the sobriquet of “dual-sock.”

So, without further ado, on to the dual-sock’s comments, which I will now slice dice chop and mop, and then block.

In the first of his comments, he makes a rambling statement to a subscriber named “Sew Me”, who just got finished having a comment exchange with the Meta Sage, concerning a possible incongruent relationship between lucidity and morality, which, coincidentally, also ties in to the main subject of this video. The video on which this dialogue occurred, was an oration of disapprobation on pollution. And so, I will read the comment exchange, as it happened, including the dual-sock’s remark at the end, which I’ll then circle back around and skewer in conclusion.

So here’s the comment exchange:

Sew Me: “sure, fine, but you seem to venture into moralizing and it doesn't follow from the other content or you don't convincingly connect it.”

Meta Sage: “It connects solidly. We are students, here to undergo spiritual training, in order to free the mind from mental slavery. Behaviors that are conducive towards enlightenment are worthy of encouragement. Behaviors that are conducive towards delusion are worthy of condemnation. For a sage not to uphold these standards would be a dereliction of duty.”

Sew Me: “i guess, i cant really argue that littering large or small is good, but i still feel something is missing.”

Meta Sage: “Yes, something is missing. A few things, actually. Mainly, discipline, mindfulness and efficiency.”

That was the initial exchange; to which, dual-sock decides to now chime in, and comments, quote:

dual-sock: “What’s missing, is the recognition of his de-evolution into attachments and valuation of illusion. As if there was some point to this place we find ourselves in. A training ground, a spiritual training ground, he tells you. Is that what this is? Training for what? Ask him that. What are we training for? Oh, that’s right, NOTHING... And does nothing require the illusion of training for some end? Lol. He’s descending into the darkness, slowly but surely. He’s projecting his valuation of a future world for his child. He’s finding PURPOSE here. He’s finding, because there is a sense of self that is searching. It really is that simple. I gladly welcome him to the darkness. At least now he’s letting his morality flow. A powerful sith lord he will become. Or, he will fade into irrelevance. Either way, who really cares?”, unquote.

Well, obviously YOU care. And more then just a bit. In fact, it seems quite obsessively, to be exact. Apparently, enough caring to warrant a haunting on the video by the shadowy specter of the dual-sock. Please. Go away, hungry ghost. There’s nothing for you here. No one summoned you. So why dost thou harken to me? Go back to the shadows. Go out back to moan and groan in the boneyard, where you belong. All of this malcontent within you is just due to the fact that you are heart broken over the knowledge that, soon, you will no longer be able to continue to successfully fool people into attributing power and responsibility onto some imagined externally existing inventory item. So naturally you’ve become irritated and disappointed, but I’m so completely glad you’ve become disillusioned; because all this fake bullshit that’s currently being used for self pacification and willful delusion, is coming to an end! And you don’t like it. You want to be able to continually hide in delusion, and all the implications about lucidity, truth and awareness, will just spoil everything. Awwwww. Poor baby! The little baby needs his little baby bottle! That’s why the poor little baby is lamenting that there isn’t any point.

“As if there’s some point to this place we find ourselves in!”

Of course there’s no pre-existing point. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t any point. There may be a point, but it isn’t a point that’s gonna be supplied to you. And that’s because sensory perception is mind created phenomena. You can imagine it to be an objectified manifestation in your mind, all you want; if that makes you feel better, but that doesn’t change the fact that perception is a complete fabrication. And you’re not okay with this. Hence worship of god. Hence worship of objects. That’s the difference between a true escapist and a true realist; but the REAL difference, rather then the continually told lie of the inverse. And as such, there are those that shun the truth, and reject mind created reality, most commonly materialists or theists; thereby authentic escapism. And there are those that welcome the truth, and accept mind created reality, usually some type of nihilist or existentialist; thereby authentic realism. You see, existentialism doesn’t have a problem with the contrived nature of sensory phenomena. But this is your exact trouble. You want purpose and morality to be factors supplied to you by some type of superior outside power. You want to feel exceptional. You want to be anointed; so you wish some otherworldly aspect would materialize, to see that your washed, then smear your body down with holy oil; so as to better bestow a divine hand job upon you, all because you are just so god damned unbelievably fucking special. Well, unfortunately for you, but luckily for the rest of us, it ain’t happening.

No, there isn’t any point out there, waiting for you to find. And there also isn’t any “place” for a sense of self to find itself in. Yeah, “in.” This sense of self is apparently located INSIDE some type of parameter, right? That’s why you keep insisting that there’s some sense of self out there searching for a purpose. Always taking everything way too literally. Places, inside, outside, self, others. All externalizations. But, it’s understandable why. Of course you’re not going to understand the implications of existentialism, because you are not lucid. At all. So, naturally, you wouldn’t be able to recognize where the source of reality is. Because you’re always too busy looking past it. Therefor, you apparently need a purpose to be forcibly penetrated into you, by something you think in your mind is extrinsic; otherwise god will die, and then everything just gets ruined for you, and then you’ll be forced into cynicism, and then compelled to believe that purpose, and hence morality, are ultimately worthless! And then everything goes downhill from here. What a dilemma indeed!

Basically, just like a little anally wounded theist, who wants to take his ball and go home, all because there isn’t some big sky daddy out there to give a blowjob to. Awwwww. You just can’t seem to get passed your little oral fixation, can you. And I know, anyone who tries to help you to stand up on your own two feet and be a man, is an asshole, all because you can’t get passed your little oral fixation, and you insist on giving fellatio to flying spaghetti monsters. Well, get off your hands and knees and get over it! And don’t bother saying that it isn’t what you’re doing, because it’s EXACTLY what you’re doing, whether you consciously realize it or not. And it doesn’t matter if you say you are not a theist, because your mindset achieves the exact same depressively oppressive mind state. Just because you’ve replaced “god”, with some narrative about an extraterrestrial, a secret society, a DNA molecule, or whatever other bullshit externalization you’ve come up with, doesn’t make it any different. Same fecal matter, different anus. Understand: There isn’t any objective aspect out there to act as your supplier. So stop searching for one; like some drug addicted junkie, looking for a dealer to jock for a chance at some product. That makes you no better then a cheap common dirty whore. And that’s truly contemptible.

You mock my call for discipline, mindfulness and efficiency because, by your estimation, it must be the result of attachment and the valuation of illusion, and it’s completely understandable why you’d think that, due to it being the only frame of reference you can conceive of; because you are truly an unabashed attachment whore, and a shameless value junky. When one can only intellectually consider the concept of lucidity, rather then lucid awareness itself, then it would seem to logically follow that, if one learns that sensory perception is illusion, then this will ultimately mean that nothing matters, and this will justify recklessness, and eventually become a license to be a predator. And this is the part you just can’t seem to understand. Hence, this is where I step in to expound.

First off, no on ever said the objective is to eradicate value, reason, purpose or narrative. You are only being asked to detach from these utilities. And before you even ask, no, you can’t. Anyone who tries to manipulate this process to foster the ego will meet quick remand. The idea that lucidity will lead to a loophole that will allow the playable character to cheat the game and fulfill all it’s twisted desires, is just that: an idea. It doesn’t follow in actual methodology, and is incongruent to reality. Pursuing desire is necessarily a fall into delusion; as, any craving for illusion can only be sustained by a loss of clarity. If it’s clearly laid bare that all sensory perception is mind created, then a desire for any of this phenomena; that is, the fear based motivation to grasp or push away at illusion as a means to some end, relies completely on completely burying the truth. So get that right. We subtract the ATTACHMENT to value, reason, purpose or narrative; not the value, reason, purpose or narrative itself.

Secondly, it’s also not about abstinence, or the denial of certain inventory items to your playable character; another pitfall you just can’t seem to stay out of. Again, it’s not about pulling or pushing. It’s about seeing the true nature of what you’re pulling and pushing, and adjusting to the truth accordingly. Hence, valuation of illusion isn’t necessarily a problem. It’s the attachment to valuations of illusion that becomes a problem. How many times must this be said before you can comprehend it? Of course illusion has some value, as illusion assists in our spiritual training. Not for you to cling to it desperately. Hence, purpose itself isn’t necessarily an issue. Attachment to purpose is the issue. Understand? It’s okay to interact with illusion. Just don’t become attached to interacting with illusion.

So, with that said, here comes your big question: how can you possibly establish any discipline or proper conduct in a context that is objectively meaningless and isn’t governed over by an all seeing super power that manipulates you into certain behaviors by doling out punishment and reward? Apparently, in your mind, you can’t. That’s why you relegate morality to the workings of a Sith Lord; as, without a god to dictate morality, that leaves man alone to establish a moral code; and, of course, that means human morality must be evil; as, man can’t be anything good, without a god to MAKE him good, right? Which is why you compared my righteous stance against pollution to a Sith Lord. Please. Keep that distinction for yourself. I think it’s YOU who is doing the projecting. Although, realistically, you would hardly be considered a Sith Lord anyway. More like a Sith LARVA. That’s about it. A measly little mealybug; a parasite who seems content to continually suck on the juices of a mighty and righteous host. A simple pest. An annoying little nuisance fit to be whisked away to it’s fate by a swift and heavy hand.

But, getting back to the meat of the matter, of which, is the main assumptive stance adopted by the dual-sock, and, by and large, by people in general; is this presupposition that mind dependent phenomena, and a lack of god, equates into a necessary loss of meaning and purpose, and hence, morality. And the other commenter on the video also apparently agrees; complaining that morality cannot follow from the implications of sensory perception as mind created illusion. So let’s break it down.

One thing you need to understand up front is, just because reality is mind created, doesn’t mean there can’t be morality. Take responsibility. Why do you need to be bribed by some imagined outside entity in order to understand discipline and morality properly? Let me guess. You wanna go to heaven and don’t wanna go to hell, right? How deep of you. And that very well may help you sleep at night. But I’ll tell you one thing. If you’re a player, game to conduct himself according to a paradigm of “avoiding punishment and gaining rewards”, then, for good or bad, you’ve established a code of conduct on all the wrong reasons. “Gaining and avoiding”, are the delusional path, and a way to obfuscate the truth. There’s nothing to gain or lose here. You were zero sum before you came in this game, and you are exiting this game in the exact same way. And don’t take zero to mean absence. An absence is a negative. A presence is a positive. Both different degrees of the exact same stuff: illusion. Zero is superposition. So gaining and avoiding aren’t a legitimate basis to formulate a moral compass on; unless you’re a Mario Brother, running around collecting coins and jumping over turtles.

A lack of a god doesn’t mean there can be no such thing as morality. A lot of atheists incorrectly dismiss moral features due to religious associations, but there’s no need to throw the baby out with the bath water. We can figure out a standard for intelligent beings that can be applicable to all life forms, and we don’t need some make believe judge in the sky to keep us honest. We can set a standard. And it’s not that difficult to sort out.

So, how can we set a standard? To figure this out, you need not look any further then to your own functionality. You know, without question, that within yourself, you have a free will that has the capacity to use force; as in, actions that create effects on outside conditions, and, you have a free will that has the capacity to receive force; as in, seemingly outside effects that apply actions on you, modifying your condition. So this formulates a border we can use as a basic outline. And there’s no such thing as anyone who does not have any boundaries. And even if so, there are still instinctual ones. Only Jesus Christ would be exempt from this. So with boundaries, comes the issue of consent. We’ll refer to this junction as the boundary line of the will. And this really shouldn’t need to be explained to you, because it isn’t an intellectual consideration, even though the terminology of “the boundary line of the will”, is an enigmatic and ambiguous consideration.

Let’s put it this way: Why do the sheep run from the wolves? Why do you get annoyed and move away when someone sits too close to you on the bus? Why do you scream in pain and recoil when you get punched in the eye? Is this a matter of moral relativity? After all, sometimes we enjoy getting our throats cut when we sleep, right? It just depends on your culture. Is that it? No, of course not. You don’t need an education or a cultural background to figure out that you need to remove your hand from a hot stove, do you? So the basis for a moral system is actually pretty simple. There’s no need for you to go on pretending that morality is too hard to flesh out.

Boiled down. Life forms are either receptive or unreceptive to phenomena; and the outcome of one or another isn’t a matter of philosophy; so the proposal of moral relativity stinks of extraneous intellectualism. This is not an ideological proposition. It’s a fact of raw instinctual physiology. And we can build upon this.

You already know that, when force is used against a will, there is a rejection of it. Just as you also know, when force is used in accord with a will, there is acceptance of it. Hence, moral behavior is the proper use of force. Immoral behavior is the mis-use of force. That’s it. Need more be said on the matter? If you are able to recognize this natural configuration within your so called “own existence”, then it shouldn’t be too hard to recognize that it also resides in ALL life forms; not just for your own personal ego.

And this isn’t about any “Golden Rule”, as, many of you hate yourselves, and are completely self destructive, so, “doing unto others as you would have others do unto you”, is not necessarily the best formula for the job. But even a self destructive degenerate ego still has a boundary line of the will. Positive and negative responses to stimuli don’t cease happening just because an ego has become devoted to evil. The evil one’s hand still recoils from the hot stove, does it not? So it’s still possible to violate evil’s consent. Yes, that’s right. Dracula doesn’t want you to stick that stake in his heart and will try to prevent it. Is that a shocker? Maybe Dracula had to go to college to understand that he doesn’t want a stake in his heart? So, this is why, if evil is going to pretend morality doesn’t matter as a mere justification for overly indulgent disgusting behaviors, then that ego will be punished swiftly. And rightfully so.

Why?

Because delusional behaviors are contrary to the training. And again. We are students, here to undergo spiritual training, in order to free the mind from mental slavery. Behaviors that are conducive towards enlightenment are worthy of encouragement. Behaviors that are conducive towards delusion are worthy of condemnation. For a sage not to uphold these standards would be a dereliction of duty.

Can you understand this? The right and wrong of behaviors will be determined on a foundation of lucidity as the highest ideal. That is, just as was previously said, behaviors motivated towards delusion are bad, and should be condemned accordingly. Behaviors motivated towards the truth of lucid awareness are good, and should be commended appropriately. Similarly, anything that malevolently tries to interfere with your enlightenment should be considered bad, and constitutes a mis-use of force. Just as, if you were to try to malevolently interfere with another’s enlightenment, it should be considered bad, and would constitute a mis-use of force; even if you personally benefited from it, or derived selfish pleasure from it. And yes, that needs be clarified due to the soul dead psychopaths out there. So there’s no way around it: any mis-use of force against a will is considered a delusional enterprise, hence is contrary to lucid awareness, and therefor is a violation of right conduct. There’s the basis for a rightly based morality.

Hence, this same moral template can be applied to the act of pollution; the argument I made that the dual-sock has criticized as attachment. But the criticism doesn’t wash. Being destructive to one’s environment definitely qualifies as immoral conduct. It demonstrates a total lack of mindfulness; a crucial element of a lucid mind; which is the the basis of the spiritual training. So does that answer your question? You told the commenter to go ahead and ask me what we are training for, but it’s really YOU who is doing the asking. And, unfortunately, you don’t like the answer.

And, that’s right. Training. SPIRITUAL training! And that’s right again. Training, for NOTHING. What’s the problem with training for nothing anyway? Oh, because an addicted heroin addict can’t fathom the idea of giving up his heroin. What a surprise! I guess the little baby is gonna need to adjust to functioning without a pacifier! Because that’s all that is awaiting you, “out there.” Nothing. And when I say nothing, I don’t mean an absence of objects. Hence, an absence of objects isn’t the focus of the training. The focus of the training is, and always has been, pure potential. So when I say, “nothing”, I mean that literally. Nothingness itself. The pure static field that isn’t even a pure static field. And there’s nothing wrong with training for nothingness. This is the essence of Pure Potentialism. And to master it, one must really be devoted to it, despite receiving no gratification or validation from it in return. That’s how it’s determined whether or not you are full of shit. This is how it’s seen whether you are a spiritual warrior who wants nothing for himself but freedom and the truth, or a little lying pansy, who looks to receive rewards and hide in his delusion. We pay respect to pure potentiality, even though we can’t affix a label unto it, familiarize it, or compare it to something similar. We are not here looking for a nipple to suckle, like the dual-sock. We are here to be spiritual warriors, sworn to serve the common good, and to sacrifice as much as we can. All for the truth of lucid awareness.

Now, on to the dual-sock’s second comment, which I will now read, then obliterate quickly; as this video has already gone on too long. Again, it follows a comment exchange between a subscriber and the Meta Sage, and at the end of that exchange, the dual-sock chimes in, stating, quote:

dualsock: “You allowed the talking tiger to mind rape you. Notice how anything you bring up, he redefines for you? See how he redirects your attention to him? You speak of a creating force, he tells you there is nothing beyond awareness. This has subtle, psychological implications, that implies he is awareness, and you are not. That there is nothing beyond awareness (him), that he is the pinnacle. That your answers are found in him and need no searching beyond his word. These are mind tricks, to make you subservient to his will. You ask the wrong questions. Ask him what awareness is aware of. Ask him how awareness can be without the contrasting and complimentary distinction of the unaware. Ask him, how can he be sure he’s awareness if theres no way for him to be aware of what he’s unaware of.”

So that’s the second comment. And here’s a measured response:

Everything that comes out of the dual-sock’s mouth is deceptive bullshit. All he can produce is falsehood. So, to clarify: I don’t redefine. I guide towards the open ended. This isn’t a shell game. This isn’t about rejecting one inventory item in favor of another one. It’s about embracing the truth; and the truth isn’t found by selecting the right inventory item. They are all equally false. So how is it exactly that I’m redirecting anyone’s attention to me? This has nothing to do with me. But this is the nature of the dual-sock. Lies. Misrepresentations. Mischaracterizations.

Yes, the commenter spoke of a creating force, and I rightly brought him back down to reality. Awareness is the sure thing, which can be verified and is the ultimate foundation of everything. Not because I say so, but because that’s how it is. A creating force is an abstraction. Again, this is more cowardly evasions. Another example of feeble subservience, looking for some outside entity to hold all the power and responsibility, because you’re too weak and lazy to assume it yourself.

I point towards awareness. So how is this in any way an implication that “I am awareness and others are not”? Or that I am the pinnacle, and only want others to take my word with no verification for themselves? How is this so; other then just the dual-sock saying so? Because that’s all it is. Distortions and deceptions. I have always repeatedly advocated for just the opposite. Don’t take my word. Don’t stop your investigation. Find out for yourself. I don’t want your subservience. I’m telling you, I have no use for needy dependent followers who need somebody to lean on. If that’s what you are, then GET OUT OF HERE! I’m looking for those who want to stand on their own two feet; and don’t need my support. I have no time to support you.

And here you tell the commenter that he’s asking me the wrong questions, and, again, ask the commenter to ask me certain questions, which means, again, it’s really YOU who’s asking the questions. So I will go ahead and answer your questions. Since you indirectly asked.

Question 1: What is awareness aware of.

Answer: Awareness is aware of an imagination.

Question 2: How awareness can be without the contrasting and complimentary distinction of the unaware.

Answer: Awareness can’t “be”; as, awareness is not an existential factor. It’s only aware of existential factors. Therefor, it doesn’t have an opposite. It doesn’t play by the rules of duality. It imagines the rules of duality.

Question 3: How can I be sure I’m aware if there’s no way for me to be aware of what I’m unaware of.

Answer: “You” are not aware. This “you” is not your identity. More aptly stated: There is an awareness of a persona who thinks he has an individual awareness that he can’t be sure of, due to the fact that he can’t be aware of what he’s unaware of. See, your problem is misidentification. That’s why you can’t unglue from your dream stupor.

So that’s that. I now wash my hands of the dual-sock, and banish him to the netherworlds, once again. But this time, there’s no coming back. You are unrepentant, and hence, are unforgiven. And are therefor removed. Begone from this place.

#morality #philosophy #spiritual training #trolls

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sightful-tangents · 7 years ago

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july 22, 2017

It’s been an interesting week.

1. I started the week in a huge funk. One of those bad brain funks, and I’ll be honest I was in one last week as well. I try and describe it as a mix of restlessness and kind of numbness, I wouldn’t necessarily call it anxiety or depression, but I just feel unhappy and desperate and kind of stuck. And homesick.

2. I try and be self-aware of my problems, and I also try and address my problems. I also kind of recognize it when I start spiralling (in which it felt as if, minus a few lapses here or there, I’d been spiralling for a couple weeks), so I try and correct it. I think I overcorrected, because when I’m in this type of funk, I kind of grasp for control. And the way I did this was to set up a goal to wakeup at 7 and start work at 8 (basically an hour earlier than my normal routine), and pack my schedule with lots of things/people (and I really try never to flake, so later-in-the-week me sometimes resent early-in-the-week me’s plans). Sometimes it’s only upon reflection that these goals I make aren’t exactly arbitrary, but maybe a bit about being in control of my body and dragging it through the week in an exhausted state because lols what is self care.

3. So like, I’m doing this morning routine where I’m exhausted, and since I’ve been so busy I haven’t done groceries and so I’ve got very little food and too much coffee, and this isn’t exactly the greatest combination. So my body kind of feels numb and tired (and I hate the numbness feeling. Hate it.) Anyways, I’m kind of curious about the fact that the way I deal with brain funks is to fuck with my body, but huh, the more you know about yourself…

4. So Monday goes by, I text dude I’d been seeing that I didn't really want to see him anymore (I know, worst) but I agree to meet up with him later that evening to talk things out because it’s definitely the right thing to do. He’s super nice and good about it, thankfully. I then Skype my best friend back home just to get a bit of semblance of home since I’m so weirdly homesick.

5. Tuesday I find out my company got this contract that I’ve been working on for over a year. It’s kind of a big deal and I was totally thrilled. I grab dinner with a university friend and we’re talking about dating (lol) and he’s like “oh I saw your online dating profile” (omg let me just kill myself now) but he was also like “I would totally date you except you’re a vegetarian” and that’s got me backtracking real quick because I do NOT want to date this guy and did not want him to get the wrong idea (sigh, my life has too many instances of guys having the wrong idea). So anyways, that’s fun, and now it makes me kind of uncomfortable since I don’t want to mislead him or anything. But, then I find out my friend had adopted a cat so I go over and visit, and the cat is absolutely adorable, guys. I’m so happy.

6. Wednesday, I get a message on the worst business social networking site (won’t name names here) but it’s from a cofounder of a company and he was reaching out to set up an intro phone call about maybe doing some consulting work, and I later chatted with him in the afternoon and it sound really promising. I’m actually really excited about it, but I know there are few more hoops to jump through before this is something that will actually happen (basically, we’ll start around 5-10 hours a week, just to trial run and see if we’re a good fit), but I really want to work with this company and I think I can do a good job. Cue all the insecurities about my actual skills though. We’re having another phone call next Wednesday to discuss rates and work and ahhh I hope it goes well. Also, I went to (or more like, invited myself to) my friend’s apartment buildling BBQ where I got a free veg burger and got to hang out with one of my fave friends. Then went and met up with a different guy I’m kind of dating (don’t you judge me) and had drinks and watched a movie and yadda.

7. I’m still waking up at 7, guys, and I am fucking exhausted when Thursday comes along. So on Thursday the weather is fucking annoying, because I’d walked to a cafe about 30 mins away from my house (considerably far) in the morning and it was beautiful but around 11 it started pouring rain (totally did NOT see it coming), and the most annoying bit is that I’m wearing Toms canvas shoes so obviously they’d get soaked. But then my boss calls me and asks to meet (I try and postpone the meeting, as well as ask him to do a phone meeting, but he insists on meeting in person) so I trek out, about 20 mins walk, and of course, shoes are soaked. BUT, hey, good news… I got a raise and we talked a lot about my role in the company. The raise is nice (and expected, as I had hoped for, since I had joked about it during the year-long contract process that if we won it, I’d want a raise). But to be honest, I’ve been looking into other jobs recently (see point number 6) and I’m kind of ready for a change, so I’m a little apprehensive of the roles my boss sees me in. I don’t know if he senses this in me as well, but he’s really nice about things and he’s always like “we’ll get you on projects that you find interesting, and make sure you’re happy” so maybe he knows I’m slightly over it lol. In the evening, I meet up with my old roommate for dinner (she asks me exactly 2 questions about myself. I’ve realized over the years how… either not good at conversation, or maybe just self-centred she is?). I go home and do laundry, and I also buy a beautiful painting I found second hand online for $30, and I am over the moon. The painting is kind of abstract-isa, but it is so “me”, totally the type of shit I love. I also have been avoiding decorating my room for nearly 2 years since I moved in (minus the postcards) since I’d assumed I’d be moving soon, but I’d put “wall art” on my Wishlist (there’s literally only 6 things on my 2017 Wishlist). I’m so, so glad I bought it though, it makes me very happy. Also, chatted with my mom and then had a nice convo with her boyfriend, who’s a senior project manager and I wanted his advice about #6. It was kind of shocking because he told me to set my hourly rate at an outrageous number (lol, thanks for having so much faith in me), but it really got me thinking and I think I will be asking for a (slightly less) outrageous number so really, we’ll see where this goes. Still excited about this opportunity, but I know I gotta do some prep work. Oh, and yes, this is a long-ass day and I’d been up since 7 (maybe running on 5 hrs sleep and too many coffees? My body is dead at this point).

8. Welcome to Friday, and another 7am start. I saw on a video somewhere about how someone had framed consulting work as a leisurely pace with a few sprints throughout the year, and it is how you handle the sprints that really shows how well you work, and fuck it man, it feels like I’ve been sprinting all week. But anyways, starting work early, and we’ve got several new projects coming in and it’s gonna get kinda cray in the future. I’d originally planned on taking my friend out for lunch for her birthday, but she was feeling sick so we ordered mcdonalds (lol, her choice, go for it). Then I had a client meeting and I had initially planned on ending my day after (around 2ish) since I was so tired, but I then had a long meeting with my boss as we’re finalizing more things (although I did get to sit in on several interesting business-y/politic-y meetings which is always fun, since my boss is quite well connected). Anyways, I’m reviewing contracts at 4pm and tired and hungry and finally go home at 5, hang my painting, and nap. Then groceries (finally??), then just crashing so early because my body is so tired and my brain is trying to handle all the different thins happening and juggle different shit in my life. And I sleep for 8.5 hours and it is glorious.

9. So, in summary, it’s been a good week I guess? In the sense that I’d gotten good and interesting news and my friend got a cat and I got a painting and the dude I’m seeing is quote-unquote “not terrible” (my gradation of guys is essentially: no, eh, okay, not terrible, fine). But I got very little sleep, drank too much coffee, am fighting a brain funk, am still homesick (but maybe a little less), I’ve got my friend’s bday party/gathering/whatever today and plans with a friend Sunday… I knew I had completely packed my calendar this week (is it because if I think I’m busy all the time I won’t have time to deal with my brain? Or do I think hanging out with friends will make me feel way better, although I know I’m an introvert at heart? Because let’s face it, vegging out on Friday night was the best fucking decision I made) so I might take it a bit more easy next week (doubtful) and a LOT of upcoming work (as always) but yeah. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I don’t often write long-ass entries but it’s 9am on Saturday and I’m feeling much more rested than I’ve felt in a long time.

Time for breakfast.

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2paclegacynet · 5 years ago

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MTV News Spends a Day with Tupac at Venice Beach [October 27, 1995}

In 1995, Tupac Shakur and MTV News correspondent Tabitha Soren as they walked down Venice Beach in California. During the 20 minute conversation, Pac gets personal: talking about his Baltimore upbringing, his relationship with his mother and father, starting a community center with Mike Tyson, and more. See also: 1995-10-27 / Tupac Interview With Tabitha Soren (MTV) 0:01 What does Tupac Amaru Shakur mean? 0:41 Moving to the West Coast and dropping out of art school 3:07 Moving out to the West Coast and being broke 3:53 Tupac on his mother, Afeni Shakur and drug addiction 5:16 Childhood and growing up 5:41 Dealing with traumatic experiences 7:42 Going from making pizza to joining Digital Underground 9:14 Tupac gets a tattoo 9:43 Getting introduced to the 'thug mentality' 10:51 Growing up without a father 13:34 Working hard and success 14:27 Justice and finding the person who shot him 16:02 How life would be different if Tupac had a father 16:32 Tupac on being a father 17:46 Being in touch with his feminine side 18:15 Starting a community center with Mike Tyson 19:11 Distancing himself from a 'thug life' mentality 19:39 Being able to live a 'normal' or 'happy' life TRANSCRIBED Tupac: They call this place weirdo beach. I don’t know it ain’t that weird to me. MTV: Alright, give me a characterization of your childhood. Tupac: was the total opposite of what I am now. I was quiet, withdrawn, I read a lot, I wrote poetry. MTV: At what point in your early life were your exposed to this quote unquote thug life mentality? Tupac: When I was out there by myself with no where to stay and no money MTV: Which city? Bits of it was in Baltimore. Pieces of it was in Marin City and then the rest came in Oakland. MTV: And what was your first introduction? Tupac: Drug dealers, pimps, prostitutes. That’s really it. Criminals. They just the only people that cared about me at that point when I had nowhere to go and I was hungry. MTV: But you said your mother always cared about you. Tupac: She did but she was lost at that particular moment. She wasn’t caring about herself at that particular moment. MTV: What was that like? Tupac: I love my mom. She the bomb to me so. MTV: I know she is now but what about then? Tupac: It was hard. It was hard because, you know, she was my hero. MTV: And what did you do when you stopped going to school? Tupac: I only had two jobs ever in my life. One was at Roundtable Pizza, I used to make the pizza but it was good, it was the perfect job, Tabitha, ’cause I was hungry and I got to like eat all the toppings of peoples pizza. That’s where I ate ’cause everything is right there. If you imagine I was making pizzas on the side, bringing pizzas home, I’m calling in my own deliveries. MTV: Hello? Tupac: I’m saying we’re on Venice Beach that’s what you’re supposed to do. I’ve been in jail for 11 months, Tabitha. You got let me get a look once or something . MTV: Do you think it’s important to tell your fans that it’s not cool for you to end up in jail? Tupac: I don’t have any problem telling people it’s not cool to go to jail ’cause I’ve been there and it’s not cool. MTV: So just tell me how you have been feeling with all the stuff that’s been going on in the last couple of weeks. Tupac: Good. Relieved. Happy to be home. It’s a trip when you know that last week you were in jail and I was in this little cell and it was real dirty and not have any hot water and dudes were telling me when to shower and when to eat and all of that and then next week I’m up “Manny’s” with champagne, filet mignon and lobster and shrimp. MTV: Did you feel like your life was ever threatened in jail? Tupac: By the guards not by the inmates. ‘Cause they did just everything they could do to try to break me because I used to talk a lot of shit, you know, coming out of jail. MTV: No, not you. Tupac: I know, I know it’s hard to believe, Tabitha, but you just got to picture it. But, uh, you know, they would say things ’cause they would call you, uh, jail was the first place where I can go and they just went as soon I got there they went, “There he goes.” He goes, “Who?.” “There is the rich ****.” I was like, “Oh shit, he said ****, he said ****!” and everybody was looking and me like, “So?.” I was like, “Oh my God, this is where I’m gonna be staying. He said ****.” MTV: Well you got s in one of your records. Tupac: Nigga. They’re talking about s. s was the ones on the rope hanging out on the field. Niggas is the ones with gold ropes hanging out at clubs. MTV: Well maybe not everyone is not aware of the differention. Tupac: They don’t have to be. Everyone if your not a nigga and you don’t use that word you don’t have to understand it. It’s not one of those things. MTV: How did you meet the girl in the alleged rape? Tupac: I met her in the club. Some guys introduced me to her. MTV: And she was very forward with you? Tupac: Extremely MTV: And what happened? Tupac: She did some things and… MTV: Sexual things? Tupac: Yeah, she did some things there at the club and we got together later that night. I saw her again another time with the guys that introduced me to her, um, everybody was having a good time. Not we didn’t do anything sexual, just having a good time. Me and her went in there, she gave me a massage, came out, went to sleep, woke up. She’s screaming, “Rape, rape.” I raped her and the next thing I know I’m going to jail. MTV: So in your opinion there was no truth to the sexual abuse charges? Tupac: Not on my part at all. MTV: If you could go back to the night when the sexual abuse occurred is there anything you would do differently? Tupac: Yeah MTV: What? Tupac: I would not have closed my eyes till she was out of the room, until everybody was out of the room. MTV: I’ve grown up with tons of wild stories from lots of legendary rock bands and things they would do with their groupies. Do you feel like there is a double standard for black artists and white artists and how they entertain their groupies? Tupac: Yes it is a double standard because America is scared of a black mans sexuality. and they only see us as groups who could only go, “Ugh, ugh,” and they just can’t imagine us being another way and that’s why it was so easy for people to believe I could do this. MTV: It seemed like there was a time though that you were definitely reveling in the image of being wild and crazy. What got you off that path? Tupac: Five hot bullets. MTV: Tell me what happened at the recording studios in Time Square. Tupac: I got shot five times. I walked in, some dudes walked in and shot me up, um, took some jewelry. MTV: Do you know who shot you? MTV: No? Is that a no or is that a maybe? Tupac: No, I don’t know who shot me. MTV: So does that mean that you also have no idea why they shot you? Tupac: No, I have no idea why they shot me. MTV: Do you think they shot you just to get your jewelry? Tupac: I don’t know. It’s like anybody’s guess. I don’t know. I don’t really like to talk about it. MTV: At any point did you think you were going to die after being shot five times. Tupac: No. No, I didn’t. Immediately I was like, “Oh Man.” I know how it’s gonna be when I die it’s gonna be no noise you know you won’t hear people screaming. I’ma fade out. MTV: You were on trial for sex abuse charges at the time of the shooting. Tupac: I was on trial for rape and sodomy and gun possession and forcible kidnapping about 18 charges that’s why I wanted to die at that point. ‘Cause I was like you know I mean I’m tired but I lived and I was like well I can’t check out. MTV: So you felt suicidal? Tupac: Oh, definitely. It wasn’t like I was one day waking up and wanted to commit suicide just all around I felt suicidal but I couldn’t kill myself I just wanted somebody to kill me for me, you know what I mean? MTV: Yet you were still happy you survived the five gunshot wounds. Tupac: Only reason I was happy was I didn’t want them to take me out. You know I want honor man. These suckers that wanna rob you, taking you out, you know what I mean? That’s cowardly. MTV: Do you feel rehabilitated? That’s what they try to do in jail. Tupac: Nah jail is not a rehabilitation thing. I feel like I’ve grown and matured I don’t think jail had anything to do with it. MTV: Tell me what you’ve been recording in the studio since you got out of jail Tupac: Euphanasia is the name of the album. It’s a double album I’ma release it for Christmas. It’s gonna have Snoop on it, me and him did a song called “Amerika’z Most Wanted.” MTV: Do you feel like rappers should be more responsible for their lyrics? Tupac: Um, yes. MTV: What would you define as irresponsible? Tupac: You talk about murder and death and you don’t talk about the pain or you talk about killing and robbing and stealing and you don’t talk about jail and death and betrayal and all things that go with it. MTV: A lot of people would characterize your music as gangsta rap. Do you? Tupac: No MTV: Why not? Tupac: Marlon Brando is not a gangsta actor. He’s an actor. Axel Rose and them are not gangsta rock ‘n’ rollers. They’ve got rock ‘n’ rollers right? So I’ma rapper. This is what I do. I’m an artist. MTV: Does anything that Bob Dole says make any sense to you as far as rap is concerned? Tupac: Nah, I have no disrespect towards Bob Dole. I know he don’t know what he’s talking about. He’s just talking. Some card that somebody gave him he’s just reading off that card. But he’s cute, you know what I mean? He’s my grandfather. MTV: One of the characterizations made of rappers often is that they’re very boastful. It seems like right now you’re taking pain to be humble and look at things from a very realistic perspective. Is that accurate? Tupac: Yes, I think being humble is sexy. That’s my new put I’m pushing humble. MTV: You’re being humble to get chicks? Tupac: I’m starting to turn you on, Tabitha. As a matter of fact, I’m hoping my humble thing is gonna get to you . MTV: So you got married in prison? Tupac: Yeah MTV: What happened with that? Tupac: It didn’t work. Not because of her or me or jail it just wasn’t the right thing to do at the time. I married her for the wrong reasons. MTV: What were the reasons? Tupac: I cared about her but I married her because I was in jail, I was alone and I didn’t want to be alone. MTV: How would you compare to fame and fortune in 1995 to how you did a couple years ago? Tupac: I believe I’m more responsible, more mature and more focused and I will be more focused and even more responsible and even more mature in time. MTV: It seems like the two sides of Tupac are constantly battling with each other. One minute your spitting at TV cameras, the next you’re talking about Shakespeare. Have you reconciled those two? Tupac: Hopefully. I’d like to think so. I think that I’m really I was a reactionary and now I don’t do that anymore. Same person, just I don’t react. Before I reacted I didn’t like the cameras, I’d spit. MTV: The last time we talked you said that you were best known for your big mouth. What do you feel you’re best known for now? Tupac: Taking five bullets. Surviving. I’m known as a survivor now. I hope so for the jail thing, bullets, and the everything. Controversies and everything. I hope so. And I wanna be in the future known as somebody, you know, I want people be talking about me like, you know, “Remember when he was real bad? Remember when Tupac was real bad?” You know what I mean? They do that about a lot of actors now. Like John Travolta I read stories and it’s like, “Remember when you were wild?” And all these other people they now are sweethearts. We all should get that chance. I just want my chance. Read the full article

#MTVInterview #TabithaSoren #Timeline1995 #TupacRareInterview #VideoInterview

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americanahighways · 5 years ago

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Scott Avett is having the type of month multi-hyphenates dream about: a new album; a sold out show at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center; an appearance on The Tonight Show; and the opening of a huge collection of his paintings at the North Carolina Museum of Art.

“Today is the first day I’m constantly reupping as a musician,” he said during a Monday morning interview four days prior to the release of “Closer Than Together,” the Avett Brothers 10th studio album and the group’s first since “True Sadness” hit number 3 on the Billboard Top 200 in 2016. “I’m dedicating for the first day in many, outside of playing shows, just to work on music and on being a musician again.”

He laughs. “With all that’s going on, I have to do that. But I’m full in all the way. I’m going to try to keep going and try to keep making what I’m supposed to be making.”

On the music front, that involves what Avett calls a “gradual evolution” of the group’s sound and vision. While the group says it does not make “sociopolitical” music, “Closer Than Together” addresses gun violence (“Bang Bang”) as well as toxic masculinity and greed (“New Woman’s World”).

But more than anything, the album represents a call for unity, no surprise for a band whose earnest, seemingly simple songs about the human condition touch on issues of great depth for us all. You especially see that during the Avetts’ live set, which I witnessed first-hand while shooting the show in Brooklyn later that week.

During a 30-minute phone interview, Avett touched on the group’s creative process, his various outside projects (including a Broadway musical based on the Avett Brothers’ music and producing Clem Snide’s new record), the freedom of working for a major label as the music business turns upside down, and the effect of a Judd Apatow documentary on the making of “True Sadness.”

Here are excerpts from the interview, edited for clarity:

On the group’s “life and death output” and the effect it has on him: “Every one of them, by the end, there’s this output of life and death from ideas and thoughts. In some ways, it’s the death of songs in that we’ve recorded and released them, and yet there’s this new life that does reflect seasonal growth and dying off and rebirth. Creatively, it’s reflective of life and the trust we have in each other. But the songs have many lives and deaths as we are documenting them and putting them out there.

“I’m more aware of it than I used to be. I used to be so miffed by how short and grumpy I was at the end of every recording session. I would just be a total pain in the butt to live with. Seth (his brother) would certainly agree. Now I’m much more aware of it and doing things to combat it.”

On how the “True Sadness” documentary affected his approach to music making: “It was exhausting, but so was ‘Four Thieves Gone,’” Avett says, referring to the group’s 2006 album. “Seeing the documentary myself helped me to observe (how he responded to stress). I was able to observe this self I was on screen, this really unguarded vulnerable self. Isn’t that amazing, that we can do that?

“We had the same process with this record for sure, the same feelings for sure, but I did more to combat them and keep them in place, I tried to use the parts of them that are good to fuel what I do as opposed to stopping something in its tracks, which I’ve been known to do because I didn’t know what to do with it.”

On the documentary’s effect on the band’s popularity: “’True Sadness’ had a little longer life because of that documentary, but the cool thing was we saw real numbers change at our live shows. More people came out who were curious, who had no idea what we were. It was sort of like, ‘Here’s this group. Why have I missed them?’

“It was exciting to see that growth in our concerts. That’s our real time life, where we come and share all of these creative lives and deaths that we experience within a show.”

On the band’s continued growth and evolution two decades into their career: “Not everyone knows all the missteps and failures. There are all these hits and misses here and there. They always happen, but when one miss happens, the attitude has to be there will always be another opportunity. We have to know it’s OK, that there are always going to be misses. In fact, there should be more misses than hits.

“For the longest time, we always sort of ranked ourselves. Early on we had to do that, because no one was going to rank how we did. And we were very lucky. We were raised in a very caring — probably it’s a spiritual thing that I didn’t know at the time — environment in which you were encouraged to accept yourself as being part of something bigger and something grand.

“So, it’s a gradual evolution for me. It’s been in real time. I really don’t take any time to compare where we are consciously. Sometimes I forget where we sort of were or where (songs) came from. But when I think about it, I can certainly hear two different bands, especially as far as sound goes.”

On signing with a major label (Rick Rubin’s American Recordings, now part of UMG) and advice they received from Paleface, a folk artist who was signed by Polygram and Sire in the 1990s only to be dropped soon after: “One of the things we did right, I think, is work amateur until you get called up into the quote-unquote majors, and I shouldn’t even put quotations around that. We started as amateurs (with the North Carolina label Ramseur Records). The majors would have been suicide for us. It really would have been.

“Paleface is this brilliant songwriter we met in New York in 2003, and what he experienced was the opposite to what we went through. He was on a major label really early and really quick and he self-destructed. He said, ‘I didn’t have to do anything for myself. I always had people around me who would do everything.’ He would always tell us how good it is that we grew slowly, that we made all of those early mistakes in the amateurs.

“We knew how to draw thousands of people in several cities before we ever got to the majors. We knew how to sell records. We knew how to run a business. We knew how to write checks and manage money among each other. We didn’t really need a major label at that point except to advance our creative process, and that’s where Rick came in.”

On taking more than three years between albums: “We’re more apt to take more time now than we used to. We didn’t used to have the financial ability to take the time, but as soon as we were remotely stable (financially), we started taking the time. It’s one of those resources I was talking about.

“Right off the bat, Rick helped give us space that we weren’t taking for ourselves. We weren’t taking the initiative to make space and time at a natural pace. Rick has really helped us take time, make space for the music and follow our instinct and conscience. We were on that path already but he really sped it up for us.”

••••••

At this point, with about 10 minutes left, our conversation shifted to Avett’s other projects while staying focused on the creative process. We discussed his art shows (the large one at the North Carolina Museum of Art and a smaller one at the Soho Gallery in Charlotte, both of which will be up through January 2020), and the Broadway musical. The Clem Snide record, which Avett describes as “indie but spiritual” will be released next year, and the band also is expected to return to the studio in the spring to finish some music that was left behind during the Closer Than Together sessions.

Avett graduated from East Carolina University in 2000 with a BFA in studio art. The “full-on big show” in Raleigh, “Scott Avett: Invisible,” is described by the museum as his take on “universal issues of spirituality and struggle, love and loss, heartache and joy, as well as more personal stories of career, family, and living in the South.”

Painting and performing are large parts of who Avett is creatively, but they “can really distract each other badly. They can be each other’s worst enemy. I have to be really disciplined and know when to turn my back on one to work on the other.”

With the band on tour through November, he’s looking forward to taking some time to recharge before, as he describes it, the creative muse inevitably returns. And he remains open to following the “spark” that sometimes occurs when he’s exhausted.

“When I’m home and once I’m rested from being out, it’s so predictable, I get these visions of what’s next or these sounds of what’s next. They come in and I’m driven to go out and make whatever it is that calls me,” he said. “But some of the most interesting stuff for me comes after the big efforts, when you’ve had the juices flowing and gears turning. Sometimes that lack of presence you feel because you’re so exhausted actually makes you more present. It causes you to be in real time and something great can happen. That’s really fascinating for my process.”

The Broadway musical, which largely will be based on 2004’s “Mignonette” as well as other songs from the group’s catalog, is an additional artistic challenge for the group. “It seems so natural,” he said of “Swept Away,” which premieres at Berkeley Repertory Theatre in June 2020 before moving to New York. “Early, early, early on, I could see these songs as a Broadway piece, but I put that idea away years ago. To see someone else imagine it or see it in the same way, that’s exciting. They’re producing something that may or may not work, but it will be fun to see what happens.”

With three children — ages 4, 8 and 10 — and a career filled to the brim, Avett said he has learned over the past several years not to “overvalue work time” and to “give more value to the nondoing.”

“I swear, I’m doing much more within less work time than I used to, because adopting that principle causes you to be more relaxed and have a more fulfilling family life,” he said. “It’s easy to say that a career is the most important thing you have, but that’s such nonsense. It’s all so silly. If I afford myself more family time, which is super important, then I’m more relaxed when I go to work. And when I’m working, what I’m doing is more sincere and more fun. I just couldn’t get that before the age of 40. I couldn’t get it.”

As the conversation ends, I asked Avett if he enjoys music and art as much as he did 20 years ago.

“I think I do,” he said, laughing. “But in a different way. I try not to treat it as critically as I did 20 years ago, and that makes it more fun. It’s been a shift, because as many times as I say I’m going to change careers or going to quit, I never would. I’m always excited to move on to the next thing. There’s always the next thing to enjoy. I think that’s the key.”

https://www.theavettbrothers.com/welcome

Interview: ‘Full in all the way’: Scott Avett talks about music, art and the creative process @theavettbros @umusic @republicrecords #americanamusic #closerthantogether Scott Avett is having the type of month multi-hyphenates dream about: a new album; a sold out show at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center; an appearance on The Tonight Show; and the opening of a huge collection of his paintings at the North Carolina Museum of Art.

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