#also Kakashi's having the best day of his life and a bad day at the same time

[oh-no-its-bird]

Obkk modern au where where Kakashi and Obito are online friends who have never seen eachothers faces. It's a years long friendship (and mutual silent crush) where they've helped eachother through what was truly the darkest parts of eachothers lives.

But irl they also happen to know eachother from childhood due to having gone to the same schools and shared the same classes, and they fucking DESPISE the other. You can not stick them in a room without someone starting a fight.

When they interact irl, play into specifically the early dynamics of obkk, with kind of superficially happy/dumb Obito and a "follow the rules to the letter" grumpy overachiever Kakashi

But when they're online, play more into the older obkk dynamic.

Where Obito shows that he has a pretty big mean streak/humor and a serious talent for playing dumb; where he overlays his happier side irl for just social reasons.

While Kakashi shows he's actually super lazy and imperfect with most other factors of his life outside of work/school (and ofc downplays his actual work ethic when it comes to work/school, framing himself as doing bare minimum when he should really do more (bc he genuinley believes that)) and has a pretty wicked sense of humor himself, a love of over-romantic, fluffy porn, and a habit of using endless "cute" emotocons

Kk: Did my proposal today, it was so bad... I really slacked off this time on it. I was so nervous they'd tell me no (｡﹏｡")

Kk: I guess the other presentations must have been pretty bad too because they picked mine anyways? I feel so lucky (╥﹏╥)

Ob: it's ok even if you tried your best!! Im proud you were able to do even as much as you did.

Ob: I'm glad you got it, at least one of us won their proposal today. That jackass had a fucking 30 slide detailed slide with 6 DIFFERENT PIE CHARTS and a scheduled water break inbetween. Fucking kissass

Kk: nooo im sorry ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Ob: it's whatever. Just glad you got the thing :)

Ob: want me to kill your boss tho.

Kk: lol

Kk: I'll help hide the body ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

And then one day Obito does some sort of very mean prank on Kakashi. And it goes uhh. Badly.

I mean, badly for Kakashi. Obito thinks it went great!

That is till he gets home and finds his best friend for a decade, and crush for even past that decade, texting him about a very specific mean prank that got pulled on them.

Wait. No. Wait. WAIT. FUCK.

So like. Obito is a bit conflicted now. He doesn't know what to really do here??? Like. What if it ruins everything with his best friend??? But also hey best friend why the FUCK are you such a BITCH.

But also also, suddenly Obito is recontextualizing SO many of their interactions— from Kakashi suffering the devistating loss of his father when he was especially annoying, to explanations of why he reacted certain ways. And oh my god Obito is... also a kind of a bitch???

Obito has NO idea what to do and is just swinging so violently back and forth on what are really his only two options.

And sometimes he's like gleefully feeling vindictive bc after arguing with irl Kakashi, online Kakashi is ranting about "that same asshole again" at work, so Obito is like "I KNEW it was getting to u, haha you're NOT better than me after all!!!"

But then later he feels kinda bad about it bc like. Aw wait no he actually might have genuinley hurt the person he loves. And also he doesn't want to lose getting to see the real Kakashi, a mix of both of his masks, by fucking this up and choosing wrong.

Anyways Kakashi finally somehow figures it out on his own, they fight, they make up, they make out.

The end yay happy ending

There's an alternate universe where neither of them every found out about eachother and continued to be friends online and hate eachother to escalating degrees offline. But one day they start to slowly shift in dynamics. Irl they get closer and online they get so much angrier and more distant. Till we've swapped and now online they just have this GIANT fallout but offline they're actually in love now. And this continues till they're about to get married/no longer on speaking terms with eachother. And so on their wedding day they reach out again online but ONLY to hate on eachother like "oooo fuck you I'm so happy rn I just got MARRIED."

"Oh yeah you bitch??? So did I. And my husbands better than anything your ugly ass could ever pull"

"FUCK YOU MY HUSBANDS FUCKING AMAZING AND YOURS IS PROBABLY LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE SHIT"

"OH YEAH????"

"YEAH!!!"

"PROVE IT!"

And then they very sharply turn and take simultaneous photos of eachothers furious faces and then angrily, instinctivley press send.

And then they stop. And then they have a moment of dead silence.

And then they begin to have an actual, physical fist fight in front of the uncut wedding cake with ALL of their friends and families watching. And the photographers with their very ready cameras.

There was a lot of cake.

Yeah that was ah uhh. Interesting

The good news at least is now they have a photo of them fist fighting like they want to kill eachother while covered in wedding cake in a frame that says "happy marriage <3" on it, and they like to joke about it (to many, many peoples horror)

The end yay happy ending x2

If I were to write this fr I think I'd legally have to write both versions bc both are excellent

[yutori-do]

The four things I notice and hate the most in Gai's (bad) characterization:

Intelligence: In some fics they make him completely stupid, with no ability to conform to social labels or understand what they say to him without rethinking it, and that makes my blood boil because this guy is anything but stupid; He is an avid learner and always seeks improvement (genin at 7, chuunin at 11. He may not be Kakashi but he is still quite a lot, right?), able to predict, if I remember correctly, up to a hundred movements of his enemy before to be executed, someone who thinks quickly in battle and very adaptable.

My God, he drives NUNCHAKUS and you think he's incapable of concentrating? I understand that it is one thing to sit down and study and another to train, but I don't think GAI, of all people, wouldn't take on such a challenge. Appearing empty-minded is his facade, his mask. The only way I can accept that he's pretty stupid is if it's because of the trauma of losing his father, he clings to the attitude of a child as a way to feel like he's back in his childhood. AND YET-

Okay, next point.

Darkness: This man was literally beaten by chuunin because when he was a child just for being the son of a outcast of Konoha, they made fun of him and probably isolated him from the rest as a child, and he has also been under a strict exercise regimen since he was 5 years old. An exercise that made him fall from fatigue and pain, and he, despite everything, continued to get up, continued to force himself to overcome the pain. Gai's darkness is not easily detected because he is not visibly cruel to anyone but himself; The only way he is easily seen is with his relationship with Lee, his dedication to put him through everything he put Lee through even though he is the person Gai loves the most (possibly after his father). The way he pushed his (Lee's) limits to the point of telling Lee that he should face death to hold onto some hope for a better future (to be a shinobi again) is very dark. The relationship he has with Rock Lee ironically brings out the worst parts of Gai, and there we enter the next point.

Cruelty: Gai is a character who has been shown to have an extremely strong code of values, in which benevolence always comes first; He is empathetic in a world where that is condemning, he is kind to people who at best only make fun of him for how he looks. In short, a great person. But that does not mean that he is not cruel, that he hesitates when killing; he is still a soldier, a child soldier who participated in a war based more on ego than anything else. His moral code does not prevent him from killing, but rather makes him limit himself, to limit himself to what is absolutely necessary. If he has defeated his opponents and thus achieved his mission, then he will not kill, because the rest are shinobi like him and also had a mission.

We've only seen traces of Gai's cruelty throughout Naruto, small flashes of what he truly is in battle. Do you seriously think that the title of Beast is achieved only by defeating enemies? It is not even a specific animal, but literally: Konoha's Beast of Prey.

And what is a beast but an animal that kills cruelly? One kick of his was capable of breaking rocks when he was just a child. What prevents him from punching through his opponent's chest? Breaking skulls using just his fingers? You're not going to tell me that someone like him, with his strength, is not capable of ripping off your arm in a single movement.

Gai is capable of great, great cruelty cultivated by years of being humiliated by the village he now protects with his life, by the Village for which he destroys his body day by day. Still, his morals prevail, but it does not mean that cruelty is inappropriate for him.

And possibly the root of all his problems...

Death Wish: Dying for the Village is something that is as ingrained in how Gai thinks as any Konoha child, but this takes a drastic turn when his father sacrifices himself to save him. His father was, despite being ashamed of him, his World. The only person who loved him with everything, who showed him sweetness and tenderness in everything, he who took care of him as the most precious thing he had. In a place where everyone hated him and slowly began to change because Gai was useful to them, only his father loved him unconditionally, no matter what.

It is not specified how old Gai was when his father dies, but he can be placed after 11 and before 14, and that is possibly the source of what he is like; totally adhered to what his father was in an attempt to demonstrate that Maito Dai was a great man and shinobi through his legacy of the Eight Gates, his greatest and only technique. It is known that before he was 20 he had already acquired his title of the Blue Beast of Konoha, so it is accurate to say that he already knew how to open the Seventh Gate, at LESS THAN TWENTY YEARS OLD, the time it took his father to master the technique.

Gai's desire for death and his perspective of it is shown by his speech about Lee's highly risky surgery; If he can't live fully as a ninja, then he doesn't want to live. For him, Death is a price, the most precious coin that he is able to throw to prove something, to prove that he is worth something in a world where Death is common, where he was expected not to survive, much less prosper.

He lives life to the fullest, being his best person, enduring whatever it takes because he knows that his end, his death, when it happens, will show everyone that he was never weak, that he was incredibly powerful, and for someone who grew up being treated as the lowest scum except by his father, who ended up dying in a blaze of glory as an outcast, a death like that is the highest he can aspire to. For him, the only destiny is death, and the only way to prove his worth. And that's not fucked?

(And if you want to add another tragedy, possibly the Eighth Gate was a relief during the war because Gai's death cannot go unnoticed, hidden. Being someone who had so many limitations, being at a significant disadvantage, and being sent to war so young, where the majority are children or other young people who die anonymously, the Eight Gates were his way of establishing that no, he would not be killed, because he would kill himself first. Oh, now i know why he respected Kisame so much at the end.)

[cette-tificaton]

Chapter 1: Kakashi in Zombie Apocalyptic World

Kakashi gazes at his student, who was sitting in an upright manner.

Today was their graduation day. Graduating middle school. Kakashi eyed them boredly.

He would rather not attend this ceremony, but of course, he's not the type to revolt against the system; it’s Naruto’s job.

Although Kakashi was very late. But the principal and parents have grown used to his antics. And being a teacher who graduated with a Ph.D. and several courses that are not related to education then was titled as a prodigy and a genius. Nobody really went against him. Kakashi is the youngest teacher in the school at the age of 25, but has 5 years of experience in teaching. He graduated from university with all those awards in his 20s.

Which was not a feat for Kakashi, he was actually dissatisfied. He graduated academy in just 1 year, but here, he is studying for a whole 15 years of his life. He was known as a great teacher. For all his students, achieve the best and become the best.

He should be happy, but happiness isn’t easy to achieve for a former shinobi. He was reincarnated in this world at the age of 5; he appeared in front of an orphan, having no memory of his birth.

He just appeared and woke up as a 5-year-old Kakashi.

Kakashi became a teacher for one reason: it’s the fundamentals of children's growth; with the right guidance, none of that would happen. Sasuke would not leave the village. And he was dissatisfied with his former teaching. It’s the only thing he's not good at. Weakness is not allowed. Kakashi adhered to that value.

Kakashi looks at his students, who look proud.

Kakashi frowned; he kept hearing the vibration of their phone; he also noticed the embarrassed parents.

Kakashi senses danger. Something bad will happen; his dog intuition is strong in this one. Kakashi’s lazy stature has become alert.

Gaining a few stares from parents, they appeared to be pleased that Kakashi is taking their children's graduation seriously.

He’s eyes look everywhere; where did he feel the danger? And then something entered his nose—a bloody smell. Kakashi eyes glimmed with vigilance.

‘Who was it? Did someone die? ’ But the smell of blood got stronger, getting nearer. He also heard screaming. It was not clear.

Kakashi suddenly sprang up from his seat. Which gained the principal's attention who was delivering a speech, a very long speech.

“Mr. Hatake? ”Several eyes were directed to the gray-haired male.

He did not care as he hurriedly strode to the gate of the gym. Everything became clear. Kakashi heard the growl of some kind of monster and screamed of people. He also smelled the growing amount of blood. Without a second thought, he locks and closes the only door in the gym. 

“Mr. Hatake? What’s wrong? ”The principal once again asked.

Kakashi looks at them, but before he can speak, Bang! Something collided with the metal door of the gym.

It was loud, surprising everyone, causing them to murmur among each other. This causes the creature outside to become more erratic. As Kakashi has noticed through his great hearing. Bang! Soon followed. And just like a chain reaction, the noise kept repeating; soon something collided with the walls of the gym.

Trying to force themselves to enter the gym. Kakashi frowned. The creature was attracted to sound.

Panic ensues while Kakashi sends a signal to the captain of the guards of this school.

“AHHH! ”Someone suddenly shouted a male voice.

Kakashi looked where the sound came from and saw a frightened man, and next to him, a chair has fallen, presumably what he used to see outside.

“Z-Zombies... Zombies! ”The man uttered. Kakashi can hear him even from a distance. The man has taken a look outside through the high window of the gym.

Kakashi is really starting to regret attending this meeting. He hates crowded places; it’s noisy and smells like sweat and a mixture of disgusting perfumes.

Kakashi strode to the stage after making a decision. The principal was talking to someone; through their phone soon people followed. They call everyone they care about. Kakashi took the mic that has fallen to the floor.

"Ehem... everyone,” Kakashi said with his calm, lazy tone, gaining everyone's attention.

"Everyone, we should stay calm,” Kakashi said as he eyed the people panicking below the stage.

“We are currently facing a crisis; the creature is attracted to sound, so silence is a must if you don’t want to die,” Kakashi said rudely as he looked at the gaurds that were stacking up chairs to block the door of the gym.

“Don’t fret. I assure you rescue will come soon. After all, you all are part of the high society.” Kakashi's eyes darted to several figures in the crowd.

“I’ll go outside to see the situation. No worries, I won’t go through the main door,” he said as he looked at everyone.

“I’ll give you an update an hour later,” he added.

He handed the mic to the principal and went to the back of the stage. There’s a room behind the stage, and in that room a window that is sutiable for escape is built, although it was a high window just like the other.

Some teachers followed him, but Kakashi was gone in a blink of an eye.

Kakashi frowned as he looked at the hideous monsters below him.

He’s currently attached to the wall. He then took out a shuriken and successfully shot them in the center of their forehead, a headshot. These monsters are scary-looking but slow.

They're the worst kinds of monsters. They cannot dodge and slow and have the weakest defenses. But their large in numbers after killing the small hoards below him.

He step on the ground and took the shuriken from the zombies body carefully but fast. He then restores it to his Kamui world and then takes out 2 knife this time to fight the incoming zombies.

[soulcialdent]

Day 2: Gezelligheid (Dutch)

A convivial, cozy, or warm atmosphere. The warmth of being with loved ones, or seeing a friend after long absence.

Life has been kicking Neji's ass. It's always been rough between losing his both his parents before he could remember him. The constant tormoil between his family and losing so much of himself to a war. Also almost his Sensei and Then having to come to terms with his new reality. He could no longer be a Shinobi anymore.

It took him close to a year to be self-sufficient again. As much as his injuries would allow anyway. He was lucky to alive and for the longest time he just couldn't believe it. But one day, maybe he would. Today just wasn't that day.

Neji was exhausted. He was on his way home after having his monthly meeting with Hinata and Hiashi. To discuss clan business, which Neji has opted to step away from but as Hyuuga you can never really step away from. Then Hinata would ask him the same question. And his answer was always the same. He had no intentions of returning to the compound. She'd smile at him genuinely but he didn't miss the hints of sadness that lingered there. But she would never push back.

If that wasn't draining enough, Today was 3 year Memorial of the 3rd Great Shinobi War. While electricity's filled the air with mixture of pain, pride and other conflicting emotions. Neji was numb the entire time. Today was really long day.

Gai Sensei tried to convince Neji to come out and celebrate with him Kakashi, Yamato and the others but he kindly turned him down. He wasn't in the mood to celebrate or talk about the war. Especially not, without his best friend. He missed her.

They’ve always been close. They became even closer after his almost death. If possible … Tenten became a pillar for him or maybe….a crutch. He couldnt tell. Tryin to get answers to that question just made his head spin.

Neji sighed as he approached his front door. His latest migraine being to set in as he reached for thelock to his front door- but slowly opened

Strains a brown hair catch his attention. The door now wide open.

“Hey, I’m back” she smiled at him. “You look like shit. Is everything okay?” She shut the door behind him.

He shook his head. Tenten eyes him curiously, gentle patted him on he back guided to seeing his sofa in the living room. Before walking into the kitchen to receive the tea she made. She was back just as quickly.

“Hey, is there anything that I can do for youl?”

“I have a migraine” and my body is acting up. He decided to keep that to himself.

“Okay, the pressure points that help are in head neck right “

Neji nodded as he felt her cold fingers press up against the side of his face. She massaged the pressure points like she's seen him do a bunch of times. And on her tooo. He began to relax as the migraine slowly drifted away.

“So what have you been up to while I was away” Tenten asked threading fingers through his slightly damp and wirely hair.

Neji melted into her touch. This is the part he loved and resented at the same time.

“Gai Sensei and Lee came to visit a few times but now Lee's away on a mission. Hinata paid me a visit as well. But enough about me. I want to hear about you.”:

Tenten chuckled and sat down next to him. She handed him a cup of tea before she began talking.

“Well the Land of Iron is beautiful but very cold. The Weapons Master Mifune wanted me to meet with was so cool. I way they craft weapons out there is unlike anything I’ve seen before. The cold temperatures and mountain air does something to metals. It imprints on them and gives it this blue color finish. I can't believe I was able to train under him.

Neji couldn't help but smirk. Taking a sip of the tea finally. He grimaced, it was really bad. The Hyuuga couldn't help but chuckle. Somethings never change.

“Sounds like you're learning a lot. When do you need to head back?”

“The day after tomorrow unfortunately. But hey, I got you something”

Tenten pulled out a leather spring with a small sound pendant on the end. It has a picture of kunai and other side it was engraved with Team Gai’s moto. Stronger Than Yesterday.

“I have one too” Tenten pulled on the string around her neck. “So no matter where you go. We’ll always be there with you “

And I, with you….

Gezelligheid

[couldtransitionsaveher]

SASUKE UCHIHA from NARUTO

JUSTIFICATIONS:

"Sasuke Uchiha has to deal with some toxic masculinity from her abusive dumbass bootlicking piece of shit brother Itachi who killed his whole family (for simply...wanting more human rights?) and violently abused/tortured her when she was only 7 years old (she wasn't even 10). She suffered an abusive childhood and yet everyone won't stop throwing pity parties for Itachi the man who ruined her life because of some sad flashback between him and this guy named Shisui. Also Konoha sucks ass and the village ain't worth shit - the ANBU black ops can NOT do their fucking job even if their lives depended on it (minato and kushina died because of their incompetency), the village gets attacked 1,000,000,000,000 times, they bullied the MC Naruto for being a Jinchuriki and they are ungrateful bastards to Naruto, they massacred an ostracized clan (the Uchiha), the Hyuga side branch owns slaves, best girl Konan's village got destroyed by the Leaf Village and gave her PTSD. Sasuke made the logical decision to leave this shithole and she got hate for it. Honestly leaving Konoha and transitioning probably would've saved her imo." - Anonymous

"man, idk her brother is a dumbass bootlicker who abused her and tortured her when she was only 7 years old (she wasn't even ten!!!), her entire family was brutally murdered by her psycho brother too for simply wanting more human rights. his sensei kakashi could've been a good supportive person for her because he was friends with an uchiha back in the day and he saw some bits of himself in her - but no instead he just doesn't take her feelings seriously (which is ironic because in part 1 he's like "no sasuke revenge bad never mind the abusive childhood" but then in part 2 he's like "ok shikamaru go get revenge for asuma hypocritical much". honestly what kakashi should have said instead is something like "okay i understand you went through a shitty childhood and i'll help you get strong and kill itachi and bring justice to your parents & your clan. Don't cutoff your bonds". the worst part is fandom's recation to this, "haha kakashi put the emo punk b*itch in her place". she has to deal with toxic masculinity from her abusive brother who choked her. she also made the logical decision to leave konoha because that damn village gets attacked 100000000 times and konoha does some nasty shit (ex. destroying best girl konan's village, the hyuga clan owning slaves and child slaves (Neji's forehead was branded with the curse seal when he was only 4), the fucking hunger games *cough* *cough* I mean Chunin exams) - but she got a lot of hate for it. honestly leaving the pathetic shithole that is konoha and transitioning probably would've saved her." - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

[anyon-else]

Will You Remember Me As I Am Now? (The Red Room pt.10) | For the first time in your life, you understand what true happiness feels like, and it's both exciting and terrifying. You know now that you have to hold onto it before it's ripped away. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru, Kabuto Yakushi

Warnings | female!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, abuse, violence, guns, manipulation, nightmares

Word count | 9.3k

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"A burnt child loves the fire."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Life was pleasant.

You hadn't realized that a feeling like this existed. For as long as you could remember, your existence was contained within a small echo-chamber where you learned only about the world's cruelties. On a good day, you didn't add another scar to your seemingly never-ending collection. On a bad day, someone died at your hands. The bad days were often more frequent than the good ones.

But now, it seemed that the Red Room and all of the pain associated with it was just a distant memory. Even your nightmares had slowly faded away, only reappearing between long periods of restful nights.

The dizzying change wasn't necessarily hard to accept. Especially when you were becoming so attached to what your life had become.

Tonight, you'd been invited to Sakura's first movie night since she'd gotten back.

Kakashi was on your right side, tired eyes straining to focus on the movie. Naruto sat at his feet, leaning back on his legs and nodding off every few minutes. Sakura was pressed against your left side, leaning in your shoulder with a small, content smile. Sasuke was on the floor next to her, leaning just slightly on her legs and watching the screen with interest.

According to Sakura, movie night was a fairly normal activity for the four of them. Before she was taken, they'd had one at least once a week. However, when Kakashi had asked you to join them, he told you that this was their first time continuing the tradition since Sakura was taken. He could never bring himself to suggest it without Sakura being there, and Naruto and Sasuke never brought it up either.

So, while Sakura probably saw this as her reintegration of a continuous and simple tradition, you noticed the way that Kakashi glanced over the three kids fondly. Every now and then, you'd catch him looking at each of them as if taking a head count, just to make sure he had all of them there.

You couldn't remember what the name of the movie they'd chosen was. In all honestly, you were barely paying attention. From the moment Kakashi had sat down at your side, close enough that his arm was pressed against yours, you'd felt your heartbeat spike. Frustratingly, it refused to lower despite your best efforts to focus on the movie instead of the proximity.

This had been happening more and more recently. It frustrated you that you had little control over the way you reacted to his presence, and even more infuriating was that you didn't know why.

And you couldn't ask him. The thought alone made you want to crawl into a hole. But it was also becoming troublesome; it was getting harder and harder to sleep in the same bed as him when your heart was beating out of your chest. Some nights you worried he'd hear it, but he seemed perfectly normal.

So normal that it aggravated you.

Why were you so effected by his presence, yet he seemed perfectly fine? He slept peacefully. He rarely got flustered. He was acting the same as always, and while you were grateful that he wasn't confronting you about any odd behavior, it didn't seem fair that this mysterious nervousness was only effecting you.

However, now wasn't the time to ponder on the reasons. It was all you could do to keep your heart from racing. It was unfamiliar and unpleasant enough that you wished your body would just calm itself down without your intervention.

You were disappointed in yourself. Could you really not control anything about your body, from your actions to your feelings?

Sakura glanced at you when you shifted, trying to adjust and put as much space between you and Kakashi that you could. If it was the physical contact that made you so nervous, you knew that you should've just told him that you didn't want him touching you, but this felt different from the unpleasantness that you generally associated with touch. You were so confused, and it infuriated you.

Sakura was giving you continuous and frustratingly obvious glances whenever Kakashi shifted. You knew that she felt your heart-rate pick up, and this new tangle of emotions was not made any less frustrating by her knowing looks.

At one point during the movie—which you'd discovered through short intervals of attention was about a friendship between a fox and a dog—you noticed Sasuke's subtle nudge against Sakura's leg. It would've been easily mistakable as a shift in position, but the small glance that he shot her was painfully obvious to your well-trained eyes.

For a moment, neither Sasuke nor Sakura moved, and you felt it acceptable to let your guard down and shift your attention back to the movie. However, the moment you lifted your head, Sakura leaned closer to you and pressed herself into your side. She sighed happily as she pushed much more than her full weight on you, and while it wasn't necessarily strange that Sakura clung to you like this, her movements ended up crowding you against Kakashi's side. You were practically hip-to-hip now, though Kakashi didn't look anywhere near as startled as you felt by the change. In fact, he smoothly and nonchalantly pulled his arm from between your hips and laid it over the back of the couch behind your head. Your eyes widened, and your heartbeat picked up again despite his arm being a few inches from your neck. Sakura looked at the new position, and you wanted to shove her off the couch when a smug smile spread across her lips.

Kakashi, much to your chagrin, didn't look the least bit phased. He and Naruto were completely engrossed in the movie, oblivious to the silent war that you'd decided to start against Sakura and Sasuke.

"Psst," Sakura whispered, loud enough to pull Kakashi's attention away from the screen, "you're heart's beating pretty fast. Are you feeling okay?"

You heard the false concern in her voice, and you met her forced frown with a glare, pointedly facing her rather than Kakashi when he raised a brow at you and Sakura.

"I'm fine," you grit, closing your eyes when Kakashi's hand fell to your back to feel your racing heart for himself. He you'd become far more comfortable with his touch over the past few weeks, but now it was beginning to have the opposite effect that you wanted. You thought your heart might burst from your chest if this went on any longer.

"It is beating fast," Kakashi muttered, misguided concern in his voice. He probably thought you were having a panic attack, "you don't have to stay. Do you want to go back to our room?"

Our room. Damn him. Sakura covered her mouth to hide a snicker and Sasuke was grinning like a cheshire cat. Damn them too. Damn it all.

"Yeah," you said hoarsely, clearing your throat and stepping away from his touch, "that'd be good, I think."

You left the room quickly, steps echoing in the vast space of the lounge. The movie continued playing, and you released a heavy sigh when you entered Kakashi's room.

This was a fairly recent phenomenon. Your nervousness hadn't been this bad last week, and the week before you'd been perfectly content in Kakashi's presence. You'd still been able to sleep somewhat soundly, though you'd recently started facing away from him at night. It was hard to tell whether that was a result of growing trust or increased nervousness.

God, you were losing it. You were a spy. A former Black Widow. You were better than childish crushes, though you were really doing your best to convince yourself that there was something else going on. Unfortunately, that was the only explanation that you could come up with.

You couldn't really be blamed for it, though. Not when you got to see his face night after night, mask discarded like he was completely comfortable being so vulnerable around you.

It made you overthink to an infuriating extent.

You sat on the bed, thinking hard enough on this revelation that you'd slowly come to over the past week that you barely heard the door opening behind you. The fleeting hope that it was Sakura coming to check on you vanished when Kakashi's familiar weight sank into the bed.

"Sakura said I should come check on you," he said, and you closed your eyes. She really had it all planned out.

"I'm fine," you told him, careful not to let any emotion into your voice. What that translated as was a cold and closed-off response, which was likely not going to make him feel reassured by your answer.

"It's okay if you're not, you know."

Everything was becoming irritating. Kakashi. His unending patience. His warmth. How secure you felt around him. It was too good—too...safe. It was completely different from anything you'd ever experienced.

"I am," you sighed, deflating at his gentle tone. He nodded, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the ceiling.

A few months ago, the idea of adjusting to a place like this would've made you laugh. It hadn't been safety that you wanted, it had been routine. Order. Even if it was enforced by pain. In fact, that was something you were so used to that you would've welcomed it with open arms.

But even though the person you'd become was a far cry from who you were, you found yourself becoming more and more comfortable with yourself as each day passed. Each time Sakura laughed at your joked, or Sasuke asked to spar with you, or Naruto asked if you wanted to have ramen with him, you wondered what you had done to make them willing to spend time with you.

You wondered what you had done to make Kakashi feel safe in your presence. You wondered and wondered, but even when no answers came, you felt content.

You woke later that night frozen on your side of Kakashi's bed, gripping the sheets and trying to force yourself to breath. Tears rolled silently down your cheeks and dampened the pillow below you, but you were paralyzed, unable to move to wipe them away.

Kakashi hadn't stirred. It gave you the chance to collect your thoughts, though that was easier said than done. It had been a few weeks since your last nightmare, but your reaction to them kept increasing in intensity. You had grown too used to a pleasant night's sleep. Now your nightmares seemed even more daunting than before, and the idea of sleeping without Kakashi was equally as terrifying.

It took a few minutes to get your stiff limbs to begin moving. Eventually, you stood from the bed and shuffled towards the door to Kakashi's small balcony. The air was crisp, and you took in a deep breath once you'd closed the door behind you.

Your gut was churning.

Things had been quiet at the compound since you and Kakashi finished the mission. Your wounds had fully healed, and with less prominent marks than many of your other scars thanks to Kakashi and Sakura's superior medical care.

Everything was fine. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and HYDRA didn't seem to be a threat to you now. Your previous suspicious that Sakura was still in danger despite Kakashi's reassurances were disappearing with each day that passed, as was the fear that you were losing your mind. Adjusting was becoming easier and easier, and it seemed that way for Sasuke and Naruto as well. You were fitting into their little family with more ease than before.

But looking out at the calm, clear night sky, you felt a familiar, unpleasant feeling in your stomach. It was probably the Widow whispering in your ear, convincing you that all of this was too good to be true, but you felt that there was something else. Something that was giving you this gut feeling.

"Maa," Kakashi muttered behind you. You listened to each of his footsteps as he walked to your side; now, with your lingering sense of dread, it was harder to focus on your nervousness. You studied the surrounding area carefully, looking for a threat that had likely never been there in the first place, "aren't you cold?"

Right. It was the middle of winter, and the middle of the night, but you'd neglected to wear a jacket. In all honestly, you'd barely noticed your poor clothing choice, too caught up in your panic to think of anything but the endearing pull of fresh air.

"A bit," you shrugged, "I just wanted to come out for a second. I'll come back in soon."

Kakashi shrugged, but before you could stop him, he had disappeared inside and returned with a jacket. You'd seen him wearing it when he left the compound for missions, and he generally kept it hung over his desk chair. You felt your nervousness returning when he draped it over your shoulders.

His hands brushed against your arms as they pulled away, and you closed your eyes to try and stop yourself from visibly shivering. Every time he did that, you wanted to grab his hand and keep him close, just to stay in his peaceful presence a little bit longer. The foreign urge made you want to scream; a few months ago, you would have scoffed at the idea of feelings like this. They made people weak and soft.

But now you understood the appeal to a frustrating extent. You still heard Orochimaru's voice like a devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear, telling you that this was why so many Widows died before their time. Their feelings—their humanity—were their downfall. And you'd always looked down on them, just like all the others.

How had you become your own worst fear in so little time?

Was this the person you'd hoped to become? Had you ever hoped to become anything?

You stood with him in silence, listening to the wind rustle the trees and scanning between the trunks, triple checking that there was nothing lurking just out of view.

"What's bothering you?"

It was only logical to tell him about this foreboding feelings, but you also didn't want to raise any alarms if you were just getting worked up over a gut feeling. You had no desire to send Kakashi on another goose chase—not now that things had actually calmed down enough for him to relax.

"Nothing."

He accepted your answer with a nod and further silence. It sent a rush of gratitude through you, and you turned to face him before you could think better of it. You ignored the Widow's voice and Orochimaru's reprimands in your head telling you that acting on childish feelings would only create weakened resolve and depleted strength.

But you felt powerful when you were with Kakashi. Orochimaru's teachings had far too many holes for them to have the same grasp on you as they did before. Especially now that you understood more accurately what humanity entailed.

It felt like freedom.

Kakashi met your gaze, elbows still resting on the railing, but he shot up when you lunged at him. He was frozen in place as you wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him locked in a tight hug. You were unsure of yourself, and you worried when he didn't respond to your gesture that you'd done something wrong—were hugs meant to be this tight? Should you have given him some sort of warning? Sakura had never minded hugs like this, but that was different. Hugging Sakura never made you feel like your heart was going to burst from your chest, or that your stomach was turning itself over again and again.

It took Kakashi a few seconds to recover, and you thought that he'd stopped breathing in that time, but when he regained his senses he was quick to reciprocate. You let out a sigh when he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought the other to the back of your head, pressing it firmly into his chest and letting out a deep, relieved breath. You felt it against your cheek, a comforting warmth in the cold night air.

You weren't sure what possessed you to do this; it was both brave and, from what Kakashi had seen, completely out of character. But it was something you were desperate for. Just one touch that provided comfort—one reassurance that you were allowed to be someone new. That you were allowed to choose who you wanted to become, and feel these new emotions that had always been forbidden before.

I'll teach you how to be human.

Kakashi's words echoed in your mind, and you thought about how much he had already done. About the progress you'd made in so little time. You were proud of yourself. For the first time in your life, you felt that you'd accomplished something for your own sake rather than someone else's.

Kakashi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, hands still pressed against your back to keep you close.

Maybe, just for this moment, it was okay to ignore your worry. Things were so good, and if this forboding feeling would go away you'd be able to relax. Maybe this kind of gesture wouldn't feel so significant. Maybe, after enough time, it would become normal to hug Kakashi. To hug Sakura, and even Sasuke and Naruto. To be part of a family. To have a home.

"Is this okay?" you croaked, swallowing against your dry throat. "Can I do this?"

"Yes," he whispered back.

You'd never been held before. Not like this.

Everything about your life now was so precious. You were becoming more and more desperate to keep it safe.

You also noticed through the contented haze of your thoughts that Kakashi's heart was beating just as fast as your own.

The next morning, you woke up alone.

Muffled voices slipped under the door, and you could make out Kakashi's voice directing the three kids as they cooked breakfast. You could smell something sweet all the way in the closed bedroom, and it lured you from the warmth of Kakashi's blankets. You trudged into the kitchen groggily, following the sounds of Naruto's shout of surprise and Sasuke's angry groan.

The kitchen was a disaster. The flour that Naruto had supposedly just spilled was spread over the counter and the floor, and some of it had somehow ended up on Sasuke and Kakashi. Sakura had sidestepped the mess and spotted you before the others.

"Ah!" she smacked Kakashi's shoulder, eyes wide in surprise, "Good morning! You're up early, huh?"

"I always get up early," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at the frozen group, "what's going on?"

"Uh..." Naruto looked around, dusting flour off of the counter and running his hands over it frantically until he found a small, cylindrical object, "happy birthday!"

Confetti shot out of the small tube, and you watched it flutter to the ground to reveal a still-grinning Naruto. You blinked at him, completely bewildered. Birthday? Whose birthday was it?

"What's all this?" you asked, approaching the mess on the counter. From the looks of it, they were in the middle of making pancakes. There was a stack of them on a plate and a mixture of ingredients in a bowl in Sasuke's hands for more batter, which was presumably where the flour mishap had happened.

"Duh. I just told you! It's for your birthday!"

"It's...not my birthday."

"Huh?" Naruto turned towards Kakashi, "but you said...Kakashi-sensei! Did you get the day wrong?"

How would Kakashi know your birthday? You didn't even know your birthday. The concept of birthdays was practically nonexistent in the Red Room; you'd never really given a second thought to yours. When you discovered that people celebrated theirs every year, you thought it was a useless, time-wasting tradition.

"I saw it in your file at the bunker," Kakashi explained when he saw your puzzled expression. You looked at him, but you had to quickly avert your eyes from his soft smile, showing itself in his eyes above his mask.

Oh. So he...remembered your birthday? And went to all this trouble just for a day that was fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Huh.

You felt your heart skip a beat as you stared at the man, eyes wide and mouth agape. You probably looked comical, and the grin on Sakura's face told you that you weren't being very subtle about your conflicted feelings.

"We made you breakfast!" Naruto said happily. He slid the full plate of pancakes across the table at you, then gave you a wide assortment of syrups and fruits. You approached the table carefully, still reeling from the fact that today was your birthday, and that the others had decided to do something for you to celebrate.

"Eat," Sakura smiled, softer than her previous one. She seemed to understand your confusion, even though she hadn't experienced it herself. Being in the Red Room since birth creates a detachment from one's identity that was hard for you to reconcile now that you were out, independent of Orochimaru's will, "we made it for you."

"Thank you," you muttered, chest warming as you looked at the small buffet that they'd created. Naruto kept pulling toppings out of the fridge—first whipped cream, then chocolate syrup, then strawberries.

"Eat! We're making more, so don't worry about leaving any for us."

It was the first time you'd ever tried pancakes, a fact that you informed the four of as you ate your fill. Naruto looked horrified, mouth open wide before he began shouting about how sad it must've been for you. You didn't attempt to remind him that you'd never exactly been worried about the lack of pancakes in your life.

"Try this one!" Sakura grinned as she pushed a large, spotted pancake towards you, "it's chocolate chip and it's amazing."

"Is not," Sasuke grumbled, ducking away from Sakura's attempt to shove him to the side. "What? They're too sweet."

"Mm," you hummed around your first bite, smiling at the two, "'s good."

"Tch. You all have bad taste."

Sakura glared at Sasuke and caught sight of his plate despite his best efforts to hide it.

"Ew, are you putting raisins in yours, weirdo?"

Kakashi reached over Sakura for the spatula that she was waving at Sasuke and flipped the remaining pancakes on the griddle. When he'd finished, he slid it back into her hand and watched her smack Sasuke's with it.

"Don't insult our pancakes when yours looks like they came out of a retirement home."

Naruto giggled, and you smiled to yourself as they bickered. Kakashi continued making the pancakes with each of the kids' chosen toppings, unfazed by the escalating argument that Naruto had become involved in after an insult to his own topping choice.

"Shut up, Naruto! You add an ungodly amount of chocolate to yours, so you have no room to talk!"

"You shut up! Chocolate is the best topping, believe it!"

Kakashi shook his head at their bickering, and you could see his eyes scrunching as he smiled behind his mask. You were glad that Sakura was enthralled with her argument, too distracted to see your cheeks turning red as you watched Kakashi's emotions through his eyes.

You pictured his face under the mask, smile small but still so full of joy. He really was beautiful.

You choked as the thought crossed your mind. Kakashi glanced up when you practically inhaled the bit of pancake you'd been chewing hit your chest to try and dislodge it from your windpipe.

Beautiful? You had never really been interested in those kinds of observations before. Sure, you could acknowledge things that were beautiful versus not, and you knew what features people generally found attractive, but this was an entirely new feeling.

Every day you added to the list of things that were new about your life. It was exhausting.

But it was also exciting. That was another new feeling. You constantly felt excited about this new life you'd been given.

"Don't choke," Kakashi griped after you'd finished coughing.

"Helpful," you grumbled, avoiding his curious gaze and looking instead at where the kids were still arguing. Sakura had Sasuke in a chokehold, grinning at him as she held him up by the throat. The boy looked like he was starting to go blue in the face; he was tapping Sakura's arm in an attempt to alleviate the pressure, but she just tightened her hold. Naruto had gone silent, argument forgotten as he grabbed Sakura's shoulder with a nervous smile.

"Uh, Sakura? I think he's had enough..."

Sakura looked up, and you finally got a clear look at the smile on her face. Rather than the playful, slightly guilty one that you'd expected, it was a familiar smirk that greeted you.

"Kakashi," you barked, but the man had already realized what was going on and taken action. He jumped at Sakura and freed Sasuke from her hold. You heard the boy coughing and taking in gasps of air before you lunged for Sakura, ignoring the part of your mind that was begging for this to be a dream, focusing instead on the problem right in front of you.

Save her, a part of you screamed. It was the part that she had helped you unlock. It was the one that had been growing since you escaped. It was one that you wanted to hold on to.

Stop her, another voice said, old and familiar like a long-forgotten friend. It was the Widow's voice, reaching out to you again after her long silence. Her phantom hands pressed against your back and pushed you towards Sakura—towards the threat—before she could reach Naruto. The boy had taken a defensive position, but he looked considerably more hesitant to engage with his friend than you felt. Before Sakura had a chance to lunge at him, you wrapped your arms around her waist and threw yourself back so that she landed on top of you.

"Sakura!" you shouted at her, wrapping your legs around her waist at the same time that Naruto and Kakashi grabbed each of her arms and pinned them to the ground. You could still hear Sasuke catching his breath a few feet away, and you tried not to focus on how pained his breathing sounded or how hard Sakura must have tried to kill him.

Not Sakura, you reminded yourself, Orochimaru.

"Sakura, you're stronger than he is," you grunted. Sakura growled, the sound almost animalistic, and Kakashi grabbed the back of her head before she could launch it back into your nose. She snarled again, baring her teeth at him and continuing her vicious fight against the three of you, "Sakura, please! If you can hear me, then fight!"

Her struggle continued, and you tightened your hold on her when her movements became more sporadic.

"Orochimaru," Kakashi said over Sakura, voice carrying across the room and leaving an echo in its wake. Sakura had gone silent in an instant, full attention on Kakashi, "interesting. So you can hear us and see us through her eyes?"

Sakura's eyes were blank, as if her body had been left vacant for a split second. Then she was blinking, and though her body had gone still in your arms, her lips split into a smirk.

"Sakura–" you croaked, tears burning in your eyes as the girl craned her neck as best she could to look at you. When she saw your broken expression, her smirk split into a grin and she let out a laugh.

"My Widow," Sakura whispered, studying your scar as if to confirm your identity, "I hope you enjoyed this phase of rebellion, but I've come to collect what you owe me."

"She doesn't owe you anything!"

"Quiet," Sakura hissed, whipping her head towards Naruto and silencing him with a single, scathing glare, "she owes me everything. She owes me her life. And that is what I've come to collect."

You could feel yourself beginning to shut down. These words were so familiar, and it had been far too long since you'd been reminded of your place. It was a shock to be thrown back into the mind of the Widow, but Orochimaru's were enough of a catalyst. Your head was spinning, and you fought to regain control over your senses despite feeling waves of nausea crashing into you.

"I want to kill you more than anything," Orochimaru said, and the words felt like daggers coming from Sakura's mouth.

This feeling of complete and utter helplessness was what you'd been battling against all this time. It was what you thought you'd overcome, but you were the same as before. You hadn't changed at all, and this was proof. One word from Orochimaru, and you were falling back into your bad habits like they were old friends welcoming you home.

It was as comforting as it was painful.

"It's an ironic kind of punishment for both of us that you're what I need to go back."

"You're more delusional than I expected."

Sakura turned towards Kakashi this time, blank expression focused on him. She studied him carefully, looking between his eyes for any hint of emotion other than forced indifference. He didn't blink.

"Hatake," she finally said with another grin.

"It's good to finally meet you, snake," Kakashi said patiently, still holding Sakura's arm despite her lack of struggle, "I hope you know that this is technically trespassing on SHIELD property."

"You stole something from me," Sakura shot back, "and I've come to collect it."

"You haven't come to collect anything," Kakashi shook his head, leaning closer to Sakura and looking into her eyes. Into the eyes that Orochimaru was watching him through, "you're nothing more than a coward. Not even brave enough to confront me face-to-face."

"You?" Sakura cackled. It sounded wrong coming from her, "I have no interest in you, or any confrontation. What I want is very simple. And I'm willing to offer a trade."

"We don't want anything from you–"

"Freedom," Sakura interrupted Naruto sharply, glaring at him intensely. Naruto flinched at the unfamiliar expression on Sakura's face and turned away, "for Sakura. That is what I'm offering. All I'm asking in return is for my Widow back."

That's it?

It seemed like an easy trade-off. Sakura's freedom? You were willing to give anything for that. Giving yourself up was always an option you'd considered, and now you had the opportunity to save her. She could finally live without fear, and without Orochimaru's control looming over her like puppet strings.

Freedom was the only thing you wanted for her. It was never something you expected for yourself, even if you'd momentarily deluded yourself into thinking it was a possibility.

Trying to be human had proven too difficult for you. Orochimaru was calling you, and you would answer with a promise of loyalty. For Sakura, you would give yourself back to him in a heartbeat.

"No."

You froze, limbs seizing at Kakashi's declaration. You stared wide-eyed at the ground, hearing only your quiet breaths as they began to quicken.

Then, like a switch flipping within you, anger crashed into you in waves.

"It'll only be a matter of time until we figure out how you're controlling her," Kakashi was saying, though you could barely hear him through the ringing in your ears and the heaviness of your breathing, "and then you'll have no power over us anymore."

A hypocrite. That's all Kakashi was. For all his talk about not wanting to be Orochimaru and about giving you back control of your own life, he was standing in front of you—not even looking at you—and deciding with no hesitation that you couldn't save Sakura.

No, that new, happier voice said. She could barely be heard over the Widow's ferocious anger, but she clawed her way to the surface and fought desperately to speak, don't do this. That's Orochimaru's voice in your head. That is exactly what he wants you to believe.

The Widow fought against this new voice, but she dug her fingers into your mind and refused to let go.

If you tell yourself that Kakashi is the enemy, you'll alienate yourself from the only people who have ever seen you as an individual. That's exactly what Orochimaru wants. Kakashi is just trying to–

"Wha...what's going on?"

Sakura's voice had changed again. It sounded terrified, and you realized that you were still immobilizing her in a vice-like grip. Despite your previous anger, you glanced at Kakashi almost involuntarily for confirmation that Orochimaru had let go of his hold on her.

"M-my head," she whispered, pressing her palms against her forehead and letting out a panicked, broken sob, "it hurts. Ah–Kakashi-sensei, it...it feels like I'm dying."

"Sakura," Kakashi yelled when the girl began to fall to the side, slumping into Kakashi arms and letting out sporadic, wheezing exhales, "Sakura, does anything else hurt?"

"I'm dying," Sakura choked, curling into herself on Kakashi lap and holding the back of her head against her chest, "it hurts so bad. I think...am I going to die?"

"No, Sakura, you're–"

"I don't wanna die. I can't...I just came back. I just came home. Please, just don't let me die."

"Orochimaru is still controlling her," you muttered, kneeling next to Sakura and placing a hand against her forehead. Her temperature was normal, "he's making her feel like this. He wants us to see it so we'll break."

And it was working.

Kakashi's indifferent mask had broken into something pained and terrified. Naruto was rambling to Sakura, telling her that everything was going to be okay. Sasuke was standing behind Kakashi, throat bruised with her handprint and fists clenched tight at his sides. He stared at Sakura with a pain in his eyes that you had never seen before.

You could stop this. It was such an easy problem to solve that it was almost laughable.

"Stop," you muttered, pulling Sakura's shoulder so that she was facing you. Your throat tightened at the sight of her face, streaked with tears and twisted in pain, "stop this. You can have me, so stop hurting her."

It took a moment, but you saw the shift that took place on Sakura's face. The pain fell away, and then that emptiness was back. You almost preferred the pain to this—she looked like a corpse.

"Think this through," Kakashi said next to you, voice shaky as he stared down at Sakura's limp body, "we can figure something else out."

"There is no other option, Kakashi," you muttered, anger forgotten. You were too tired for anger. You had already made up your mind. "You have your family. They can all be safe again."

Kakashi stared at you, eyebrows pinched together and still just as pained as they were before. You wanted to run a hand over his forehead and smooth out the frustrated wrinkles in his skin. You wanted to tell him that this was okay with you. That this was what you wanted. To protect Sakura. To protect him and Naruto and Sasuke. To give them back their lives.

They had a chance to be a safe. You weren't going to let them give that up.

Sakura began to move slowly. Her movements were robotic enough that Kakashi and Naruto allowed her to stand, though they stayed close to her side and followed her to the kitchen. She picked up a spare napkin from breakfast and swiped away your empty plate with little regard to it shattering on the floor.

"Pen."

It wasn't Orochimaru's voice, but it wasn't Sakura's voice either. It was like an empty void had taken hold of her, expending only the energy necessary to complete its task.

Sasuke placed a blunt marker into her waiting hand, though she didn't seem bothered by the divergence from her instructions. Instead, she scribbled something on the napkin, then handed it to you with empty eyes. She was looking right through you, recognizing you only as the recipient of the note that she'd written. On it was an address.

"This is your house," you muttered, glancing at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"Meet there," Sakura commanded monotonously. Then, with no warning, she crumpled to the ground.

For as long as you had known her, Sakura had been fascinated by mythology.

She would tell you stories when the darkness of a cell became suffocating for both of you. She would whisper the words with so much excitement, wanting to share the stories that you'd never had the opportunity to hear. She'd tell you about Helen and Artemis and the magnificent creatures that lurked in forests and within caves. She transported you into a world wholly different from your own, where you could imagine yourself sailing the Aegean Sea in the open air, part of an equal collective of heroes whose responsibilities matched your own. Where you could swim with mermaids and face Charybdis' crashing waves and the monstrous form of Scylla. Where pain was simply a part of adventure rather than a means of control.

When you were free, she gave you the book of Greek myths that Kakashi had read to her as a child. She said that you always seemed interested in what you had to say, and you kept it by your bedside in Kakashi's room and reread the stories that Sakura had once told you. You told her every time she asked what you thought that you preferred the way she told them.

You remembered reading about the HYDRA. That was one story that Sakura never told when you were both in the Red Room. You had stared at the detailed painting of its long, snaking heads and the sharp points of its teeth and wondered if this was how Orochimaru saw himself. As one of those terrifying creatures, looming over the world like a god and multiplying each time he raised a girl to become a killer.

The Hydra had poisonous blood so virulent that even its scent was deadly. The Hydra possessed many heads and had regenerative power: for every head chopped off, the Hydra would regrow two in its place.

Orochimaru had left Kakashi's door hanging open in invitation. Kakashi's hands were wrapped tight around the steering wheel, though you were doing your best not to look at him. You almost couldn't stand the tension in the car or the silence that had persisted since Sakura passed out. She was sitting in between Naruto and Sasuke in the back seat, slumped on Sasuke's shoulder and supported by Naruto's arms around her waist, holding her steady. She hadn't stirred since she collapsed.

Kabuto was waiting for you in the doorway. You felt a chill race down your spine at the sight of him, and you could already feel yourself beginning to shut down. You could practically feel the intensity of his gaze, and you wondered if the slight ache in your cheek was a phantom pain that originated from your many memories of his fists hitting you again and again, insisting that pain was the only way to make you stronger.

You had become so weak. You hadn't realized it before, but you'd been too relaxed while you were with Kakashi and the others. You'd let your guard down for too long, and now you were paying for it.

Kakashi didn't move when you opened the car door. You glanced back at Naruto and Sasuke with a silent but firm order: do not come out of the car.

Kabuto didn't move when you began approaching him. His face remained expressionless, though you could see the tension in his body. His hands were balled into fists, and when you finally stopped a few feet away from him, his eyes narrowed just slightly.

Kakashi opened his door at the same time that Kabuto took a single step forward and slapped you across the cheek. The strength of it left your face stinging, and you felt your lip beginning to bleed where a ring had caught on the skin. It was far too familiar to be surprising.

"You have no idea how much you've destroyed," Kabuto said, and you only began to understand just how angry he was when you heard his voice. It was low and dangerous; the man was usually more composed than anyone you'd ever met. This level of anger from him was new territory. "If we didn't need you, I'd kill you where you stand."

You kept your lips sealed shut, ignoring Kakashi standing at your back. You saw Kabuto's eyes shift to meet his and waited with shallow breaths for one of them to move. You certainly wouldn't be the first.

"I see you've found another master," Kabuto sneered, glaring at you once again when he'd finished studying the indifferent expression on Kakashi's face. Kabuto grabbed your shirt and jerked you forward, his movements sudden and sporadic. You reached back and caught Kakashi's arm just as he began to move it. This wasn't the time to hinder Kabuto or Orochimaru from doing what they wanted. Not with Sakura's life on the line.

Kakashi's arm was tense in your grip. You tightened your fingers around his wrist just slightly, hoping that your silent reassurance would be conveyed in the gesture.

You knew it would only do so much. Time and time again, Sakura was being ripped away from him. He had to be sick of seeing her in pain.

And one cause of that pain was standing right in front of him.

Kabuto pulled you close enough that his lips were next to your ear. You felt warm breath on your skin and closed your eyes, fighting not to shrink away.

"You're nothing," he hissed. "Don't forget that just because you're needed."

You knew what you were. You had always known—you had just forgotten. For the briefest moment, you'd deluded yourself into thinking that you could mean something. That you could become someone.

A pipe dream. That was all it would ever be.

The creature was so poisonous that it killed men with its breath, and if anyone passed by when it was sleeping, they breathed its tracks and died in the greatest torment. Even the smallest contact with the Hydra’s blood could be fatal.

Orochimaru was waiting for you on Kakashi's couch. He didn't seem bothered by Kakashi's presence at your side; he must've been confident in the threat that he was holding over you both. He knew after Kakashi's many attempts to get Sakura back that he wouldn't risk her. Not for you.

Kabuto had said it himself. You were nothing.

When you saw Orochimaru for the first time after so long, it felt like you'd never left his side. You mind went blank, and you froze where you stood. You barely noticed Kakashi's pack scattered around the room, all motionless but still visibly breathing.

You were at attention, though you made sure that you weren't looking directly at Orochimaru. He didn't tolerate eye contact with his Widows. He claimed that it made them seem too human—too emotional. He wanted complete detachment from any kind of personal connection with you. To the Widows, Orochimaru wanted to be a god—untouchable and all-powerful.

You couldn't move. Your body wasn't responding to any of your brain's commands. You just stood, waiting for your fate like a deer waiting patiently for headlights to meet it. Orochimaru stood from the couch in silence, calm and collected and appearing as if he was in complete control of his emotions.

You tried to embody that same control, but found that panic mounted within you each time he took a step in your direction. By the time he had stopped in front of you, you'd stopped breathing altogether in an effort to hide your fear. To hide how terrified you were at the idea of going back to him. Any residual longing you'd felt for the familiarity of the Red Room disappeared as you stared at the wall next to him, eyes and lungs burning. With Orochimaru so close for the first time in months, you wondered how you had ever wanted to be near someone who's entire being screamed danger.

Orochimaru didn't move for a long moment. When he did, you felt the pressure of his cold fingers gripping your chin. He moved your face until you were forced to meet his gaze.

Terror seized your body when you finally looked into Orochimaru's cold, snake-like eyes. He was looking at you like he could see into the very depths of your soul, and you finally exhaled in a choked, broken whimper. There was the slightest upward twitch of Orochimaru's lips.

"You've made things very difficult for me," he said, the words slithering from his mouth like a snake escaping a cage. You felt them coiling around your throat with the familiar intent to kill. Despite how calm he may have looked, you had been studying him for signs of anger your whole life. His fury was practically dripping from the corners of his mouth as his lips shifted up into a smirk, "but even so, I've decided that you still have a place as a Widow."

Orochimaru's fingers had tightened on your chin, and his smile had widened into something crazed.

"You want that, don't you?"

Speaking seemed like an impossible task, but you forced your lips to part and felt the expected answer forming in your throat.

"Yes," you croaked, though it was hardly convincing. Orochimaru laughed and turned you around to face Kakashi and Kabuto where they stood in the doorway. Orochimaru's fingers fell to the back of your neck, and you recognized the warning in his tight grip.

"Then why don't you tell that to Hatake before he does something he'll regret."

You took a moment to clear the fog from your mind and look at Kakashi. The indifferent mask had fallen from his face, and Orochimaru seemed to see how desperate he was to stop the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Kabuto was keeping him far enough from you that he wouldn't interfere, but his shoulders were rising and falling too quickly to be from anything but panic. He looked ready to lunge towards you the second he found an opening.

His eyes met yours immediately when you turned around, searching for anything other than the desperate terror and resigned acceptance that he saw.

You wished you felt brave enough to speak. To reassure him and stop him from panicking when he didn't need to.

Don't move. Don't let him hurt her. It's okay. This was always going to happen.

"Tell him," Orochimaru ordered, "where it is that you belong."

His hand on the back of your neck felt like a shock to your system, waking you to the reality of what was happening. You were back in Orochimaru's cruel hands, waiting with bated breath for his next move. But through your hazy panic, one thought fought through and left your lips before you could even consider stopping it.

"Not until you fix her."

Kabuto froze at your words. He knew that as well as you did that ignoring Orochimaru's orders almost always ended in death.

"You offered a trade," you croaked. You voice sounded weak, and you almost felt ashamed that Kakashi was seeing you at such a low point, "so hold up your end of the bargain."

"Look at you," Orochimaru said with another laugh, condescension dripping from the words, "I almost want to be proud, but you and I both know that you weren't raised to speak out against me."

You wished you had never left. You wished you had just given Sakura to Kakashi the day that he came for her and gone back inside. You wished that he had left you there.

"You forgot your place, and now you've made it my job to remind you," Orochimaru hissed in your ear. "Now tell him where you belong."

"No," you whispered, the word so faint that you weren't even sure if you'd said it. But the tightening of Orochimaru's fingers around your neck was evidence enough that he'd heard you. Kakashi took a step forward, but froze when Kabuto raised a gun and pointed it at his chest. His wide eyes were still studying you, watching every minute reaction to Orochimaru's torment.

The man that he'd been itching to get his hands on was right here in front of him. He was close enough that he could take one leap forward and close his hands around the man's throat. He could fix this. He could stop you from giving yourself back to him.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto's voice was high and panicked on the opposite side of the door. He was keeping his distance, and it was clear that he didn't see you or Orochimaru standing in the center of the room, but Orochimaru still held tight to your neck to keep you from moving towards the boy. You closed your eyes and fought against the urge to follow Naruto's distressed cry.

Kakashi's reaction was instantaneous. He had turned around in a heartbeat, ignoring Kabuto's weapon and taking a step out of the house to face Naruto.

"Sakura's seizing!"

Kakashi's body went taut at the same time that all of the fight drained from your body. This was it. This was Orochimaru's trump card; the one thing that he could hold over your head that would make you do anything he asked.

He could kill Sakura. He didn't even have to be in the same room as her to make her heart stop.

"That's enough," you croaked, attempting to face Orochimaru but stopping when he thumb pressed deep into the junction of your neck, "I understand. I belong in the Red Room. I-I belong to you."

You heaved against the panic that still swirled in your stomach. Nausea was crashing in waves inside of you, and you thought you would've collapsed had it not been for Orochimaru holding you up by your throat.

"She stopped!" Sasuke shouted, voice farther from the house than Naruto's. Kakashi visibly relaxed and ordered Naruto to go back to the car and watch over Sakura. Naruto didn't protest.

Kabuto looked satisfied by your compliance, but Orochimaru was still tight. There was a long pause after your words, and you wondered if it was too late to give him the answer he wanted. Maybe you'd already dug your grave deep enough to lay in.

I belong to you.

You tried to change. You tried to escape. You tried to become human.

It just wasn't what fate had in store for you.

"Good."

Orochimaru's grip slackened, and he let you fall past his fingers until your knees hit the floor with a hard thump. You stared down at the wood with wide eyes, wondering how everything had changed so fast. Just this morning you'd discovered that today was your birthday, and Kakashi was making you pancakes with the kids. And not even two hours had passed.

Kakashi knelt in front of you with little concern about Kabuto or Orochimaru. You couldn't bare to look at him—not after he'd seen what Orochimaru could do to you. At how quickly you'd let him erase months of progress.

You felt hesitant, careful fingers brushing against your cheeks, and when you didn't react to the touch, Kakashi pressed his hands on either side of your face and lifted it so that you were forced to meet his eyes. It was a much gentler way of meeting your eyes, and you felt a deep sense of longing for it.

"I'm sorry," you croaked, "I tried."

He shook his head, brushing his thumb under your eye to keep a tear from falling. He was close enough that you knew Kabuto and Orochimaru wouldn't be able to see the movement, but neither were paying attention to the scene. Kabuto was waiting impatiently for Orochimaru to become bored with the emotional display, but Orochimaru was silently standing a few steps from you, barely paying attention to what the scene.

"Don't do this," Kakashi whispered. You wondered if you could trap the sound of his voice in your mind and hold on to it while you rotted away in the depths of the Red Room, "we can protect her."

"I know we can," you said back with a slight smile. You pressed a hand against his and closed your eyes, wondering why you hadn't accepted this kindness from him earlier. Maybe you would've gotten more of it before it was ripped away. Enough that it would take longer to forget the feeling of how warm his hand felt against your skin. But you knew that the feeling would slip away before you were ready to let it go, "just make sure she doesn't blame herself for this."

"I can protect you both," he pleaded. Your breath hitched, though it sounded more like a broken sob. Kakashi's face fell even further.

No one had ever protected you. No one had ever been given the chance. And no matter how much you wished it, Kakashi wouldn't be able to either.

"Take care of them."

Some ancient writers tried to come up with a rational explanation for the myth of the Hydra. Heraclitus, for example, suggested that the Hydra really had only one head, but was accompanied by its numerous brood—that is, the Hydra was really many snakes rather than a single many-headed snake.

"One of your doctors is a Widow," Orochimaru told Kakashi from the doorway, "her name is Shizune. She's the reason that Sakura's examinations weren't conclusive. You'll be able to get answers from her after six months have passed. In those six months, I won't have any use for Sakura, so unless you come looking for me or my Widows, she won't be in danger."

"Absolutely not. That's not what we agreed–"

"You have no bargaining power," Orochimaru snapped, looking down on Kakashi like the man was an ant that he wanted to crush. You shrunk away from him and back towards Orochimaru to avoid any further retaliation against either of you. Kakashi's hands fell from your face as you leaned away, and you tried not to feel like you were ripping yourself away from the only chance you'd ever had at happiness.

"Forget the Red Room and any connection you and Sakura have to it, and you won't ever have to see it again."

You were hesitant to look at Kakashi again, but the fury on his face when you did left you paralyzed.

Was that anger for Sakura?

Was it for you?

"Understand one thing," Kakashi said lowly, eyes alight with an unfamiliar rage, "I'll never forget this. And one way or another, I'll see you again."

"If that days comes," Orochimaru said with a dark smile, lips split like an open wound, "it'll be your last moments alive."

A sharp sting in your neck finally made you look away from Kakashi. His eyes widened when your body went slack and you fell to the side. He reached forward and caught your head before it could hit the floor, but his hand quickly disappeared when you were lifted into less gentle arms. You recognized the grip as Kabuto's, and despite your best efforts to stay conscious enough to be aware of your surroundings, darkness quickly swallowed your vision.

The Hydra's one immortal head was cut off with a golden sword given to Heracles by Athena. Heracles placed the head—still alive and writhing—under a great rock on the sacred way between Lerna and Elaius, and dipped his arrows in the Hydra's poisonous blood.

The last thing you saw was Kakashi, out of focus and still kneeling on the ground with his hands resting on the floor in front of him. Darkness prevailed, and freedom slipped through your fingers.

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | i'm sorry this chapter took me so long. i rewrote the end after i had it basically finished because i didn't love how it turned out, but i think i'm happy with how it ended up. it also ended up being very long oops. please let me know what you think!

also if you're interested please check out the spotify playlist linked with the summary. i'm lowkey obsessed with it.

title is from "Timefighter" by Lucy Dacus

[setokaibapetty]

5 + 1 Fic Friday Roundup: Getting Even

Some fics with people enacting revenge schemes or otherwise trying to get even.

Caveat Inimici (FF) - "Hermione is a sister to Harry, a mother to Rose and Hugo, a wife to Ron...and a Legilimens and Unspeakable. She is also very, very angry. A look at a Hermione who developed the instincts she evidenced with Marietta and Umbridge. AU, but canon-compliant."

The Willing (AO3) - "During his eighth year, Harry discovers Theo Nott under the influence of Amortentia. He manages to stop anything from happening, but he can’t help feeling a little protective of him. It doesn’t help that Nott feels he owes Harry something, no matter how much Harry insists that there’s no debt between them."

Sakura of the Red Sand (AO3) - "Sasori hates Hatake Kakashi. He meets a young girl with reason to hate the man too, and finds the perfect opportunity for revenge. If he accidentally builds a family along the way, well. He always was exemplary at exceeding expectations."

turns to poison on their lips (AO3) - "After decades of watching Xanatos play Imperial politics and neglect his family, right up until Tura's death, Granta decides to take revenge on his father. The best way to do that is to make sure Xanatos never reaches the throne he covets, and for that purpose, Granta proposes a marriage alliance with one of the top contenders for the crown and Xanatos's political enemy, the vicious and deadly Marshal Commander Cody. Granta has it all meticulously, ruthlessly plotted out, with no room for error. It's too bad that falling in love with his husband was never part of the plan."

frost cannot touch plum blossoms in the snow (AO3) - "There were rumors that the Ghost King mercenary group leader Dabi was an exiled crown prince hell bent on retaking his kingdom or that he was the revenant of a crown prince driven to wreak vengeance for his fallen kingdom, that he worshipped some Eastern god of misfortune, and that he had made a deal with dark forces for strange powers. For the most part, Hawks thinks the rumors are probably mostly bullshit. What he knows is, Dabi is an asshole. A hot asshole who may have saved his life, but an asshole nonetheless."

Bonus: Drink up, Alicent (AO3) - "As the days passed, amidst the tumult of emotions, there bloomed a newfound resolve. Rhaenyra decided she didn't not care if this was reality or a dream, she didn't care if this was a curse or a blessing, she would live as she wanted to. What was there to lose? She wasn’t afraid of death. There were far worse things than death, and she had already lived through them."

[depressedhatakekakashi]

With Guy's post I was thinking about all the emotions that Kakashi would be feeling in the war, his student returned and was fighting on their side, Obito was alive and was the cause of the war, then he became good and fought at his side like in the old days, he saw his sensei again, and now Guy could have died, I don't know how Kakashi didn't go into a crisis or have a panic attack right there. And in reference to the post I agree with you, in my case I liked what he said to Guy since I feel that it shows how much he cares about him, I also feel that losing Guy could have broken him forever, that's why I love that Guy is still alive, because thanks to that we had beautiful moments of them together like in Mirai's manga

Kakashi’s emotions were so complex and honestly i think Gai sacrificing himself was Kakahsi’s break into a panic atack. He sticks together to help Gai against Madara, but as soon as it hits a point that Gai is burning up and clearly no longer fighting, i think he breaks

We see him kneeling with his arm on his leg and his eyes on the ground. He has clocked out of the fight and started to break down.

Someone else explains it a lot better on another post, but Kakashi really does start to have a pretty clear panic attack after he believes Gai is dead. He is never shown witnessing Naruto heal Gai, and is likely to be exhausted mentally and physically due to how long he has been fighting and the realization he has to bury ANOTHER precious person. Someone he is so inherently close to that they fight back to back, even When Kakashi is blind.

Kakashi knowing exactly how Gai feels because he would do the exact same thing in a heart beat, doesn’t make his pain at knowing it’s GAI instead of HIM.

Kakashi would happily trade places with Gai if he could, but he knows he can’t and because he can’t he has to watch another precious person die

For a man who is king of self loathing and taking the blame for everything bad that happens in his life, he is going to hate himself for having to watch Gai die. It would consume him just as all those other failures did for so many years

Instead of THAT, thankfully, Kakashi got hope. He got closure from Obito and Rin’s death, and he got to realize Gai was still alive. It’s such an important moment for him to realize he doesn’t have to lose Gai, because now he gets to grow old with his best friend.

They both survuved against all odds, and they’re most importantly allowed to survive

Gai’s sacrifice is terrifying for Kakashi, but Gai’s survival is i think healing in a way because he doesn’t have to bury another precious person.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: hey guys!! so sorry for the long wait. life got in the way and i wasn’t able to update as much as i would have liked, but we’re back!! :) i hope you guys enjoy!

pairings: obito uchiha x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, mentions of past hookups, brief arguing, very happy ending.

The Beach: Chapter Thirty-Three

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The past several days had been complete shit for Obito Uchiha.

His mind never stopped working. He constantly had these thoughts and they all circled back to the same thing, and that was you. 

Obito felt horrible for what he had done and said about you. He spent many hours laying in bed thinking about how you knew what he said about you. There was this heavy guilt that plagued his heart every time your angry face flashed into his mind. In all honesty, it haunted him every night he closed his eyes. He knew he was the one who fucked up here. He let his emotions and jealousy get the best of him and that was extremely wrong on so many levels. Obito wished he could turn back the clock and just contain himself for a moment. He should have just opened his eyes to the bigger picture and talked it out with you instead of being a stubborn asshole about the whole thing. He knew you hated him. He could see it in the way your expression twisted with frustration when you saw him. You had every right to dislike him. He said terrible things that were honestly unforgivable, and it didn’t surprise him that you were unwilling to talk. 

He knew he liked you. He honestly always would, and that’s what hurt him the most.

He wished he could hug you one more time or just have one last conversation, because truly, you made him happy. Obito knew he was lying when he said that you didn’t mean shit to him. If anything, you were his world. You saw the good and the bad in him, and yet, you still stuck around him. That was the first time in his entire life that he felt.. important to somebody else. He wasn’t a second option when it came to you. He felt valued and heard, unlike the previous encounters he’s had with other girls. He was an idiot to have lost you, and now he was paying the price for not listening to you. 

Not only that, but he also tarnished his relationship with his best friend. 

Kakashi refused to even look at Obito after the two had gotten physical that one day. He acted as if Obito didn’t even exist and he went about his days without a single problem. Shisui even claimed that Obito was lucky that Kakashi didn’t report the altercation to the fraternity head, because he could have easily been removed from the frat within the snap of a finger. There was no way to justify such a thing either. He knew that picking a fight like that was absolutely uncalled for and he should have listened to Kakashi, but he didn’t. He couldn’t pull his head out of his ass and just talk it out. He had to face the consequences of his actions and had to understand the facts of what he had done. He fucked up, and bad.

Despite that, Obito wanted to make things right. If you weren’t going to talk to him, he at least wanted to salvage his relationship with Kakashi. He cared too much about his friendship with him and letting it go without even making an attempt to communicate would make it much worse for him. Maybe things won’t ever be the same again between them, but he wanted to try. The last thing he hoped for was another argument or a possible physical event, but he doubted that would occur. Kakashi was never the type to fight about stuff like that. 

The day was pleasant. The sun was high in the sky and the air was quite warm, but not as humid as it has been the past few days. Obito had finished up the last of his classes for the day and returned to the frat house. He knew Kakashi would be there because they had a very similar schedule when it came to time slots. He also saw his car sitting in the driveway of the large house, so there was no way he wasn’t there. He figured he would finally break the ice after weeks of not speaking with his best friend. It was somewhat difficult to come up with a good amount of words to explain himself, but in the end, Obito knew he wasn’t a victim here. He was going to let Kakashi speak for once and let him explain his side of the story. There were clearly missing pieces of the puzzle that he needed to fill him in on.

Once inside of the house, Obito realized how quiet it was. Most of the other guys were still at school or they were out and about doing whatever they wanted. However, Obito could hear someone shifting around in the kitchen. His heart began to slam rapidly inside his chest from how nervous he was. He feared the worst out of this situation, but he knew that Kakashi’s feelings were entirely valid in the whole situation. He wasn’t going to make him feel like he was dramatic or overreacting about it at all. 

He removed his shoes and tossed his backpack somewhere onto the floor. Obito then walked into the kitchen where he saw Kakashi leaning against the counter. He didn’t seem to notice his presence at first since he was on his phone, but that quickly disappeared when the floorboard squeaked from the pressure of Obito’s foot pressing against it. 

“Hey, can we talk?”

Kakashi’s eyes settled on where Obito was standing just a few feet away. There was a side of him that grew extremely defensive over what he was seeing. He didn’t really trust Obito at the moment, considering what happened just a few weeks prior. Though, Kakashi was very shocked to see his best friend standing there, almost defeated. He didn’t expect him to give in to anything, especially after what had gone down between them. He wondered if Obito had a change of heart all of the sudden. He wasn’t sure if he had spoken to you, though. It made Kakashi curious. “Sure, what is it?” he shoved his phone into his pocket, placing all of his attention onto Obito.

Obito stepped a few inches closer before pausing where the tile floor met the carpet. He could sense the tension developing in the air between them. It had been that way for quite some time. They couldn’t even stand in a room with each other without wanting to tear their heads off, but that had to change. “I just.. I wanted to say I’m sorry.. for everything that I’ve done or said these past few weeks.” he looked down at the floor for a brief moment. “I’ve been.. a horrible friend to you, and I understand if saying sorry isn’t going to cut it. I just want you to know that I regret everything and you didn’t deserve what I did to you.” 

Kakashi was stunned to hear such words come from Obito’s mouth. He wasn’t sure if he was lying or not, but if he was, he was a good liar. However, he wasn’t sensing anything other than sincerity coming from the man. He just wasn’t sure what to say to him. He was pissed at Obito still, angry even. What happened between them shouldn’t have happened in the first place and it could have been easily prevented if he would have just sat down and listened, but considering that it all came from Rin of all people, Kakashi understood why it might have caused a reaction. It wasn’t an excuse, but maybe it was somewhat of an explanation for his behavior. 

He placed his hands behind him to rest on the counter. He blew out air from his nose to try and think a little better. He wasn’t sure if he should be forgiving. Obito fought him and put his hands on him over you. It was a scary situation, but in some ways, maybe he deserved it for hanging out with you knowing they had problems. No, that wasn’t right. Kakashi was just being a good friend to you. He had to explain that to him. “I understand.. and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you properly for that.” he saw Obito tense and nod his head with a frown on his face. He seemed genuinely guilty and sorry for what he had done. “But.. I understand your anger. I wasn’t planning on telling you my history with (Y/N) because I felt like it wasn’t important. You like her and I didn’t want to be that guy and ruin it for you, but just so you know, I see her as a friend and my intention was never to hurt you or her for that matter.” 

Obito processed the information inside his head. He sounded like he was being honest. It just sucked that he turned to such a negative response when he first heard about that information. Kakashi also didn’t have to share that stuff if he didn’t want to. It was your business with him and it wasn’t like the two of you were doing it on purpose to spite him. “Still.. I’m sorry for being an asshole. I hurt you and (Y/N) and neither of you deserved such a thing.” he said, sounding more serious this time. “But.. how did Rin even find out?” 

Kakashi honestly had no idea. He wondered the same thing for weeks after she had exposed it to Obito. He knew she had information on lots of people at school, but he never knew she had that kind of dirt on Kakashi. He kept what happened a secret and he never told a single soul, so unless Rin somehow saw you two, he had no fucking clue how she managed to figure it out. “No idea.. I never told her anything and she wasn’t with me the night it happened, so it beats me.” he shrugged. “I only slept with (Y/N) to try and help her with a breakup.. she was with this shitty guy and I wanted to be a good friend and help. I only went back a few weeks ago to see what was going on with her, but I promise you we did not do anything.” 

As much as he hated hearing that, Obito felt relief knowing that you two didn’t do it out of romantic feelings. He was a horrible guy and you needed a friend at the moment, so it was only right that Kakashi went and checked up on you. If he was you, he would have appreciated that more than anything else in the world. “I understand.. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I just believed that she liked you or something and she was just using me, you know?” he looked at his friend who was nodding his head at his words. 

Kakashi chuckled. “I get that, but trust me, she’s a good friend and I know she likes you. She would never use you and she knows all too well how it feels to be used.” he replied. “But.. I think we need to speak to Rin. I want to clear the air on some things.”

Obito couldn’t help but agree. He still had many questions and his relationship with her was completely broken now. He wasn’t sure if he could even trust her properly with what she had done to him and Kakashi. Not even gonna lie, she sounded like she had some malicious motive behind the entire thing and it wasn’t sitting right with Obito whatsoever. “Yeah.. I just.. I don’t know if I can ever be her friend again.” he looked at Kakashi, seemingly unsure of what to do. 

Kakashi nodded his head in agreement. He had a point. What happened was completely messed up and the person who made it come to this point was Rin of all people. Kakashi could patch things up with Obito, but could he do the same with Rin? Hell, he wasn’t sure how she knew. There was a side of him that was still angry that she betrayed his trust in the end, but in some ways he knew that the information he hid for so long would eventually come out. He just wished it wasn’t someone else telling the story. The way she told it made Kakashi seem like he was doing this to get at Obito, which wasn’t true at all. He would never do such a thing like that with bad intent. 

He unlocked his phone and searched for Rin’s contact. The last time he had spoken to her was a while ago. He wasn’t sure if he could have a proper conversation with her without possibly going off or something along those lines. However, he knew he would have to talk it out whether he liked it or not. “I’m gonna message her and hopefully all of this can get cleared up.” he began to type a message, which made Obito somewhat nervous. 

Kakashi: we should talk, come over whenever you can.

Immediately, Rin read the message. It was almost like she was awaiting it to come through. Kakashi wasn’t nervous, but he wondered what she was going to say. She could have a mix of reactions and it was completely unpredictable. The last thing he wanted was another fight between the three of them. He was so tired of arguing and yelling at everyone that it drained him completely. He wanted to move on. He desired the most to put this whole thing behind him and just keep living his life without a care in the world. Most of all, though, he wanted closure from the entire situation. He knew he wouldn’t be able to forgive Rin or Obito, but if he could break the ice that froze over their friendships, he would be fine with that.

His phone buzzed slightly, catching his attention. Rin had responded to his text fairly quickly. 

Rin: alright, i’ll be there in 10.

Kakashi reacted to the message and left it as that. He knew when she would come that things might hit the fan, so he had to prepare himself for that. Kakashi didn’t want to argue with her or get hostile, but knowing Rin, anything was possible. She knew what she was doing that day. That’s what made Kakashi angry. She spilled that information knowing what could happen and she had the audacity to play the victim? It was ridiculous and he questioned even remaining an acquaintance with her. She’d probably tell Obito weird stories to fill his head if anything. 

“Do you still want to be her friend after all this?”

Kakashi’s eyes lifted to focus on Obito. Both of the men seemed unsure of cutting off the friendship with her, because to be frank, she caused the entire thing. She was the one who opened her mouth and exposed secrets that weren’t anybody else’s business but Kakashi. It was unfair, and extremely uncalled for in the end. Kakashi still had no idea how Rin knew. It wasn’t like you and Rin were friends, so it was confusing how she found out. He also didn’t mention it to any other person in the frat, or even in his friend group. She still crossed a boundary at the end of the day and that event led to so many things spiraling out of his control. 

Then again, Obito wasn’t innocent either.

The two both got into a physical altercation over a complete misunderstanding. Obito was being stubborn over the entire thing and wasn’t willing to listen to Kakashi, which was also unfair. Both of their actions were uncalled for and they were at fault. Kakashi knew in some ways it wouldn’t be right to forgive Obito and not Rin, but he wasn’t the one who started the entire thing. 

Kakashi leaned against the counter. He then crossed his arms and stared at Obito who was awaiting his response to his question. “No idea.. but I don’t think I wanna be friends with someone who causes problems and spreads my business when it’s convenient for them.” he shrugged. “I just wanna know what she has to say for herself.”

Obito nodded his head. “Yeah.. me too.”

The door to the entrance had suddenly opened without warning. Obito and Kakashi knew full well who was there, and the two prepared themselves mentally for the conversation that was about to go down. It wasn’t going to be easy. They knew it was going to be uncomfortable and difficult, but it had to be cleared up sooner or later. They just hoped that Rin wouldn’t put up some dumb fight over it. She had a habit of sometimes becoming overly dramatic or making the situation worse. Neither of them were looking for a fight, not anymore.

Rin then appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. She seemed just as tense as the two men were. It was almost as if her presence had completely shifted the atmosphere. It felt thick and hard to breathe in, but this was a conversation that had been much needed for a very long time. “Hey.. guys.” she avoided their eyes for a while, choosing to place her vision onto the tiled floor. 

Kakashi shifted around and Obito sort of cleared his throat. It was awkward. The trio hadn’t properly spoken in weeks and this was the first time they had come in contact with one another in a calm fashion. It was clear nobody was looking for a fight, but there was also thag preparation between them. It could easily happen if things were taken in the opposite direction. “Hey..” Kakashi broke the silence that enveloped between them. “We should all talk.. I kind of cleared the air with Obito already, but we figured we should do the same with you as well.” 

The brunette nodded her head. She then stepped closer to the two, so she could pay attention to them more clearly. “Sure.. I’m listening.” she played with her car keys, clearly nervous. She wasn’t sure what was about to happen or what was going to be said, but she had been preparing for some kind of conversation for a while. 

Obito looked over at her. He honestly couldn’t believe that he had a crush on her for so long, yet she turned around and was a complete backstabber. Not only that, he was blinded by her intentions the whole time. Being with you made him realize that. It sort of gave him that time to look at things through a different lense and see that Rin was just.. stringing him along this entire time. It was obvious now who she wanted, but it felt unfair. Nobody deserved to have gone through that, and it didn’t make her any better of a person. “Why did you tell me about what happened between Kakashi and (Y/N)? And how did you even know?” he questioned, turning to face her.

Rin was quiet for a moment. She seemed unsure of what to say to them, because it didn’t matter what she said, she still didn’t come out as the good guy in the end. In all honesty, this was her moment to be honest about everything and come clean. If there was even a small chance she could salvage their friendship with them, this would be the moment to do it. 

She took a deep breath, clearing her mind. Her heart was thumping against her rib cage rapidly. She was nervous, very nervous. “I don’t know.. I just let a lot of stuff get into my head, especially for my personal feelings for Kakashi.” she glanced over at the man who didn’t seem very phased by her words. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.. really. I just saw her speaking with you both and thought something more was happening, but I didn’t think it would reach this point.”

Kakashi scoffed, making the two look over at them. The tension in the air began to rise and he didn’t seem very happy with her response. In some way, he didn’t believe a single word out of her mouth. What did she mean she didn’t think it would come to this point? She just thought that Kakashi wouldn’t be mad at her and would just believe that she did it to make them feel better? No, that’s clearly not her motive. She definitely did this out of malice, especially for your sake. “I don’t believe that one bit. How the fuck did you even know? This was MY business, Rin, and you knew that. I don’t care if this wasn’t your intent, you still spilled out shit I would have rather kept hidden.” he argued. “I don’t believe that, not one bit. You betrayed my trust and fucked with things between Obito and (Y/N). It wasn’t right.”

Obito had to agree with him. There was something about her vibe that just seemed off and he wasn’t having it with her. He just wasn’t sure if there was any room left for him to trust her ever again. “Yeah.. it wasn’t right in any aspect, and people got hurt in the end. I can understand if it was to let me know, but you put it in such a manner that made me dislike Kakashi. It’s completely different if he told me and cleared the air.” he crossed his arms over his chest, staring at her.

Rin chewed on the inside of her cheek. She was honestly speechless and didn’t know what else to say. She tried her best to explain her side, but it didn’t seem like things were looking good for her. She had to admit defeat, and she was fine with that. “Yeah.. you’re right and I’m sorry for that.” she nodded her head, trying her best to sound genuine with the two men. 

It was silent for a bit. 

None of them really knew what to say, but Kakashi still didn’t trust her. He knew she was apologizing and she was sorry, but how did he know she wouldn’t do this again? This stuff could repeat and if it did who knows if it would be worse than the last. Kakashi wasn’t trying to fight with his best friend again, especially over a girl. It was stupid and he wished it didn’t happen. It could have been easily prevented, but he just wished that he knew more than she did. 

“I don’t think we should be friends after this.”

Kakashi was stunned to hear that Obito had spoken up first. He thought that he would be the one to break the ice, but Obito? There must have been something that changed his mind. 

Rin seemed appalled by his words. She had her eyebrows raised and her eyes were almost popping out of her head. She couldn’t believe it, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t expecting such a thing to be said. She wished it didn’t come to this, really. She loved being friends with the two boys, but she dug her own grave. This was a result of her poor judgment and selfish desires that were coming back to bite her in the behind. Karma truly was a bitch. “I see.. I understand.” she looked down at the floor, avoiding their eyes. “I appreciate you guys talking this out beforehand.”

Kakashi shook his head. “Yeah..” 

They all sort of stared at one another for one last time. Rin then nodded and made her way out of the house, leaving Obito and Kakashi by themselves. The two were somewhat surprised that she didn’t put up much of a fight. Kakashi wondered if she felt some kind of guilt for what she had done to them and you, but none of that mattered now, she had done something bad and was now facing the consequences. She was undeserving of their friendship. 

Once the door shut, Kakashi looked over at Obito who still seemed a bit shocked at what had gone down. There was one more thing Kakashi had to say to his friend. 

“You need to fix things with (Y/N).”

Hearing your name slip from his lips made Obito’s eyes grow wide. He was shocked to hear that Kakashi would suggest such a thing. He would be so open to it, but it seemed like whatever you two had was now gone and down the drain. You hated him. He was fully convinced of that. There was no way you would ever give him another chance. “I tried.. I even went to her house and tried to talk to her, but she refused to talk to me. I don’t think I can fix things with her, not anymore at least.” he shrugged. 

Kakashi let out a sigh. It was perfectly understandable why you didn’t want to converse with the man. What he said was unforgivable, but he knew you better than you knew yourself. You had this shell and Obito was the first person since Itachi to crack through that. You still had something for him and that was most definitely the truth. There was no way you could deny that what you had with Obito wasn’t beautiful. “You need to put your foot down and tell her what you want. Maybe start off with an apology and try to explain yourself. If she doesn’t want anything to do with you afterwards, then so be it, but putting in some effort will make her think.” he explained, trying to hype his friend up. He wanted him to realize that he was right. Effort was the most attractive thing you could give a woman. 

Obito heard him loud and clear, but he had to admit that he was nervous about the entire situation. He wasn’t sure what might happen between you both. “I’ll try, but there’s no guarantee I can get her to forgive me or even talk to me again.” he said, looking down at the floor.

He nodded his head. He knew how you were as a person, but Kakashi knew full well that you could hear people out. You were just dealing with a bunch of shit at the moment. “You’ll be fine, but you better do it sooner rather than later. You don’t want her running off with some other guy, right? You want her to forgive you? Then step up and make your move.” he replied, walking towards him to place his hand on his shoulder. “I wish you luck.“

Obito watched Kakashi walk off and head up the stairs towards his bedroom. He knew he had to talk to you soon, but he just wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. 

He had to figure it out, for you and him.

tagging: @dns-smn <3

[waffliesinyoface]

anyways i just read all of naruto in like a week so i am now qualified to have The Most Correct Opinions.

Land of Waves arc is unironically the best one

its also the ONLY standard mission in the entire manga?? literally, at no point does anyone interact with a client after tazuna, its all in response to orochimaru/akatsuki. Naruto your resume is ridiculous. The reason Kakashi is 6th Hokage is not because Naruto wasn't strong enough, but because he needed to learn what the actual job of being a ninja entails. Yes you are very strong but you do need to have a basic grasp of paperwork systems.

Its kind of weird that, out of all the akatsuki, kisame is the one who hangs around the longest. Most of the others show up, do their bit, and then are immediately killed. Kisame is introduced first and dies last.

i've already mentioned this in another post but the Cycle of Hatred thing does not work. It worked as a motivation for Pein, but like. The reason the villages kept declaring war on each other wasn't for revenge, it was because their economic system was inherently tied to being the one with the strongest military and also they were paranoid that if someone else got too strong they would be invaded first.

Related: they should've had warring clans exposition and details about the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd wars BEFORE Pein showed up. If there were more details about wars in the past presented in a tragic-but-still-overall-necessary light, then Pein showing up and going "you miserable bastards trample over everyone weaker than you and deserve to be punished or it." It would have had more weight. Literally you could've slotted this during Naruto's initial training with Jiraiya as a follow-up to Hiruzen's "The chuunin exams are a replacement for war" speech.

Sakura why the fuck didnt you marry Ino

Kishimoto did Sakura so dirty at every turn. Literally every time she gets screentime she goes "THIS TIME... I WILL BE THE ONE WHO PROTECTS YOU...!" and has a cool moment, and then gets immediately overshadowed.

Literally at one point she's like "in the chuunin exams i was so weak... i hid behind you guys at every turn" and i felt like I was going insane because both during wave and the chuunin exams she has moments where she's like "yeah i dont have any special powers but i DO have a knife and you're going through me FIRST, fucker" which is honestly way cooler to me than like 90% of all the jutsu bullshit. Literally she stands in between a berserk gaara and a crippled sasuke armed with nothing but a kunai and pure fucking grit.

its very funny to me that the first time naruto ever does a nature transformation its rasenshuriken. Kakashi woke up in a cold sweat one day and realized he forgot to do the most basic teaching about chakra theory when they were genin. Whoops.

Im sorry but i legitimately do not care about the sage OR his sons OR the reincarnation twist. Its not interesting to me and I WILL be ignoring it. I'm all for the sage being reminded of his kids or the idea of history being cyclical, but explicitly going "no youre a reincarnation, this was Fated" is dumb and kishimoto SHOULD feel bad.

Edo Tensei arc is unironically very funny to me. Kabuto is having a mid-life crisis and has turned into a snake about it, and has decided to raise a bunch of dead badasses for. reasons. honestly i am not sure how his goals required obito or the akatsuki??

Anyways he raises a bunch of badasses and WHOOPS theyre all comedians. Deidara and Sasori are bickering, Itachi is being even more of an unhinged control freak than normal, the Mizukage is curbstomping everyone while berating them for not hitting the weakpoints he's explicitly telling them about, Tobirama is annoyed at everyone but mostly himself for actually coming up with this jutsu, and madara puts his entire plan on hold for a minute because he sensed his ex boyfriend and got incredibly horny.

Orochimaru gets brought back to life and promptly goes "actually i take back my plans about konoha, watching sasuke is INFINITELY more entertaining. Also I'm going to help out against the akatsuki because Kabuto's snake fursona is a tacky knockoff of me and I'm disowning him for being lame." I also liked him being chummy with Tsunade, that was very cute. I kind of wish Jiraiya HAD gotten edo tensei'd so that all three sannin could have been reunited on the same side? It would have been cute??

I feel strongly that Sakura and Karin deserve to go to some hot springs together and mutually complain to each other about being unfortunately attracted to the most misogynistic man on the planet after kishimoto himself. Orochimaru and Ino can tag along because they LOVE gossip and complaining.

Gai being the only person on the planet strong enough to beat the crap out of Madara is great, actually. Yes you can block all ninjutsu and genjutsu, but can you block his fists? No.

The "special chakra" produced in uchiha brains is actually entirely unrelated to the sharingan. It mostly just causes brain damage. This is why Madara, Obito, and Sasuke are all Like That.

Obito's heel face turn and the ensuing team up with Kakashi is, against all odds, actually good. I am willing to overlook Obito temporarily coming back from the dead through sheer willpower both because its cool and because we've already established chakra is bullshit and ghosts exist.

Obito your plans are dumb, your motivation is stupid, your critical thinking skills are nonexistent, and your coping mechanisms are insane. Somehow I still like you, despite this??

Does anybody at all like kaguya. Anybody.

Everything about the epilogue annoys me. Mirai and Sarada can stay, everything else I am actively choosing to ignore.

Frankly I'm confused and appalled that kishimoto wrote sasuke and naruto like that, and then put them in heterosexual marriages with other people.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

OOhhh Your Cannibal AU fic was very neat to read!! It's nice to see more insight into Rin, her thoughts, and her observations even if they're not entirely reliable. (I see u Rin, pointing out your apathy and lack of person, all the while feeling splashes of emotion and flashes of person-hood that contradict that... We see you!!!) Love the "what-if" type of feelings regarding Minato as well; logically, he likely wouldn't survive if he's not been drinking or eating for weeks, but then the storm passed days later after eating him... Could he have survived if they waited longer? Were his injuries really that bad? Was there some solution Rin could've thought of to help him, had she not been so apathetic? Was he comatose from an infection, and effectively living-dead the very moment that kunai lodged itself deeper into his spine, and nothing could've been done from the start? What-if....................

It's also really, REALLY funny to me just HOW EASILY her other teammates were on-board to start eating Minato, with very little prompting too! I'm not too sure if that's just because the Shinobi world in general is kinda blasé about that sorta thing, or if the entire team's moral compass is just super esoteric... It's probably the latter honestly! Rin did seem to feel some sort of camaraderie, comfort, and understanding for the first time in her life eating her sensei in a dank cave with her teammates, after all.

One other thing I'd be super curious to know is how Kushina would react to the news; from my understanding, she and Minato were already a steady couple for a few years, so I wonder how she'd deal with him dying so soon?

Very good fic and character study, I'm happy to have read it and I'd love to see more of this verse. A solid 10/10!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

yay!!! :D that's rin, my girl... continuously insisting that she has no feelings and is an empty shell of a person and then ignoring The Rage *whipes away a single glistening tear* she fascinates me.

the "what-if" is one of my FAVORITE aspects of the premise. like. no one has any way of guaranteeing that minato was really, truly, done for! there was a chance he would survive- a chance rin tanked because she really truly *doesnt* give a shit about him specifically, but you know. (imo rin has the potential to be a Great mednin but she doesnt tend to act quick enough to do anything/underestimates her abilities and then doesnt act. which is a result of her being forced into the position by the gender roles running rampant in ninjaville and her weird views about agency (if she was forced into doing something SURELY it is impossible for her to do it well)). but yeah rin's best bet WOULD have been to risk doing spinal surgery herself. she just didn't. it wasn't even too late by the time they ate him- thinking logically, the best option would have been for rin to do the surgery regardless of risk and if he dies, they eat the body, and if he lives, he can teleport them out to konoha! win-win! rin did not think of this because she had already disregarded "healing minato" as a plausible option. babygirl...

yeah team minato's moral compass's are WAY out of whack. i think we all know what's going on with rin. or at least most of it lmao. and kakashi is utilitarian to a fault on account of the trauma (many of these childrens personality traits are on account of the trauma). he Doesnt want to eat minato, but also he thinks what rin's saying is making sense, and since the only reason he can think of not to eat minato is just his own peresonal feelings, he sets aside his feelings to be a Good Ninja as is habit of his. get therapy boy!!! obito denies it at first, but also obito, for all that he stands out and fights with kakashi, is at his heart a people pleaser methinks. god i love the way all of them bounce off each other. the team minato dynamic really is unparalleled.

kushinaaaaaa my girl im so so sorry. on one hand obito brought you back some cinnamon. on the other hand. well. my take on her grief is that kushina has already lost a LOT. and she uses a kind of fake it till you make it attitude to deal with it. like an evil rin. *kushina voice: if i act happy around everyone surely this means that i am actually happy.* so while she is legitimately devastated by minato's death (i rag on the man but he IS a person, culpable to the system but not solely responsible for its flaws!!!!! i think his relationship with kushina is actually very sweet and far from the worst a ninja has ever had. i mean not to say its HEALTHY but its kind of close??? progress??) she kind of brushes past it so that she can GET BACK TO BEING HAPPY. this is not a great coping mechanism. but she can get in line for therapy. because there's a long long line.

i have been thinking of adding more to that timeline... i think it could end up being a REALLY interesting exploration of what would happen to team minato without the influence of madara/zestu/all that nonsense. (the answer is broken and dead. they're always gonna be broken and or dead.) i am a FIRM believer that regardless of weird plant guys interference team minato was destined for tradegy, on account of being shinobi. and it'd be interesting to explore. (my logic is that like,, they dont get assigned kanobi bridge w/out minato, so some other poor fool eventually ends up getting used as madara's pawn. taps nose.) thank you for the comment i'm glad you enjoyed!!!

[bogbees]

I've never seen anyone talk about Iruka's back scar and how Kakashi would react to it. like he probably wouldn't give much of a fuck until he heard how he got it

6:13 PM · Sep 28, 2019

like, he's all like "damn Iruka that's a gnarly scar" and Iruka smiles all sunshine and rainbows "oh yeah it's from when Naruto passed the exam!" and Kakashi just stares at him

like I'd imagine at this point Kakashi has developed some sort of positive romantically inclined feelings

so his brain is like, slow booting up the facts - I was the anbu in charge of the team looking for Naruto - Iruka found him first - Iruka's best friend had almost killed him - Naruto and Iruka had emotions - Naruto saved Iruka

and for a bit he's like "oh man if I had just been doing my job Iruka wouldn't have gotten hurt like this"

goes a bit crazy over how close he was to loosing Iruka before he even knew him and got to experience everything with Naruto and Iruka

he's like "god help me I know ab loss and that everyone you love dies holy fuck" "but Iruka is a teacher who hasn't seen combat in years!! he by rights shouldn't be in life threatening situations"

and then Iruka tells him ab how he and some random kid almost died that day at school bc of some poorly executed ninja magic and pointy objects

Kakashi looses his mind, starts laughing his ass off

Iruka laughs along bc ?? ok weirdo it wasn't that funny but ok. Naruto is so annoyed. ichiraku ramen stand dude is like, pshyic and had a feeling Kakashi was worked up over something involving Iruka is so relieved to see him getting over it

at some point Kakashi is like, still crazy ab loosing Iruka so he like keeps doing shit for Iruka so he wouldn't be in harm's way and Iruka is getting annoyed

so Iruka is like "dude I can do this myself thanks please fuck off" and Kakashi. reacts by not reacting?? he goes still and you can tell there's some shit otg

and so Kakashi fucks off. he fucks off real good. he doesn't talk to Naruto or Iruka for like a whole week, and would have gone on for several more if Iruka hadn't gotten fed up with his behaviour

so Iruka low-key sets up a trap just for Kakashi and it works bc Kakashi's brain funk is wonky

and he's like "you bastard I thought we were all having ramen together tonight but the kids said you had other shit to do - you and I both know you put off everything else till after! remember the anbu incident"

so Iruka is like "fess up what's bothering you??" kakashi looks so pathetic with one foot caught in a trap, dangling upside down from a tree, but more so because he looks so exhausted

so Kakashi talks about how when he first saw that scar, he got kinda scared ab loosing him

Iruka starts laughing until he notices Kakashi's solemn face and he's like "oh you're actually serious huh"

so. Iruka cuts Kakashi loose on the condition he doesn't run away. Kakashi would have, had Iruka not held his hand

and Iruka explains his own issues with his scar "you know, a guy I considered my best friend gave me this! it almost killed me!" kakashi pale

"so there's bad stuff ab it, but it's also the scar from when Naruto passed his exam. when we finally got on another's wave length proper, when Naruto saved me literally and I guess I sorta saved him"

Iruka explains that the scar is from a very positive part of his life. that he's grateful that it happened, if it hadn't, he wouldn't have gotten to know Naruto like he does, he wouldnt have ever met Kakashi

"you already knew me before tho" "yeah as like, passing co-workers. I wouldn't have learned what makes you tick or be able to hold your hand like this, and this is really nice, best I've ever had"

kakashi flushes red like. that's too intimate.

"Kakashi don't get embarassed you read porn in public. with a straight face."

also I'd like to have this sort of flash back to when Iruka was in the hospital and anbu Kakashi was keeping an eye on him and Naruto

[secret-engima]

Any snippets or headcanon rambles for Calling for Rain? I’m sick and unable to sleep because of how stuffy my head is so I’d love to hear more about Yuriko and Iruka and Hayate’s genin days.

*kicks down door in the All Might Pose* I AM HERE WITH TEAM IRUKA SHENANIGANS FOR THINE AMUSEMENT AND RESTORED HEALTH. @a-world-in-grey

SO. Genin shenanigans with Team Iruka, or should I say *TEAM 7*. Because you just known I gotta distribute that cursed luck around a little. Besides that I feel like there's a very confusing and rapid cycle that the team numbers undergo, with numbers being available for reassignment either when a genin team graduates and separates or are wiped out, or if an intended team is failed by their sensei and sent back to Academy or into the corps. And so *really*, "Team 7" as a moniker by rights should be passed down at least once in between Kakashi's genin years and Naruto's. Probably more than once, considering the fanon that Team 7 has a Reputation™.

Their sensei is a civilian-born OC that I'm still working on the details of but so far I've decided that their sensei is a woman, who is small but mighty (and feral). Has sharp teeth that tends to be seen more often in those descended from the islands of Mist Country, but if you say that in her earshot you better be prepared for the consequences. I want her to have a special skillset but I'm still debating what kind. Anyway.

Like every Team 7, their first C-rank goes absolutely *pear shaped*, this may or may not have been the infamous Mission to Tea, but probably isn't? I cannot remember if I've state otherwise previously but my gut says that their first C-rank was likely something involving not so far afield. Like dealing with bandits bothering merchants in Land of Fire, or running supplies to some of the Konoha outpost towers dotted around the border. This is after the war mind you, so a supply running mission or a bandit dispersal should be a milk run.

I haven't hammered out exactly what happens, but I do know that things go hard south, be that an attack from rogue ninja or from bandits who are more skilled than a C-rank bargains for, and the genin get separated from their sensei in whatever chaos occurs, and during that, Hayate gets a lungful of something poisonous used by the attackers.

You might see where *that* is going down the line in his life.

Cue three kids, running around for at least a few *days*, possibly a week, separated from their sensei, green as grass and feral as wolf pups, trying to stay alive and also keep each other alive. Especially Hayate, who is not doing too hot. They end up running for the nearest village, hoping for a doctor, with Iruka and Yuriko trauma bonding very hard over keeping a wheezy, semi-conscious Hayate alive. The local village doctor *is* able to save Hayate's life, but not completely undo the damage that has been done, which is what leads to Hayate's chronic health/lung issues we see in the canon timeline. Despite his new wheezy condition, all three genin are able to rally and, using Yuriko's spiteful brain, Iruka's genius for traps, and Hayate's streak of common sense, they're able to essentially turn the entire village into a much more lethal version of Home Alone for the bad guys that come after them.

The leader of the bad guys who chased them probably gets through the traps and is Fully Ready for some mass villager and child soldier slaughter but that's about the second their sensei shows up, injured herself but having bested like- the entire rest of whatever group started this conflict, and mauls the guy. There's a lot of blood involved.

Taking Hayate *back* to Konoha to get looked at by medical shinobi is able to improve his condition somewhat, but by now only a healer on the level of Tsunade could fully cure him from the damage that's been done. For most genin, especially a sponsorless orphan genin like Hayate? That would be career ending. Very few jounin would want to deal with the added complications of a chronically ill genin, let alone sit back through the long recovery and rehab/adjustment period he needs to go through.

Hayate's sensei decks the first jounin that tells her to ditch the brat and either pick a new one out of Academy or throw the other two in the corps.

Hayate's team closes ranks around him, helping him through his adjustment period, and even helps getting him a sword master teacher, something he has always been interested in, but had thought impossible after his injury. His sword master, a fierce and elderly Uchiha woman, teaches him not only to master the blade, but to master his body and learn how to wring every drop of strength and lethality out of his new limits.

The team dynamic that formed in that hectic C-rank gets solidified and honed into something tight. Iruka is the trouble magnet, but also the trap master. Yuriko, who grew up in a wealthy merchant household, is the face of the group during anything that involve infiltration (the only time she bothers to use her etiquette lessons). Hayate, with his sword and health limits, is the backup (and often the braincell). Their sensei is basically there to haul their collective butts out of whatever fire Iruka set and forgot to arrange a way to put out. She also grills them on training, running them through team building exercises until they drop.

Some additional things now that I've done backstory building:

Iruka and Hayate have a very respectful and healthy fear of women thanks to their genin teammate and sensei. Arguably especially Yuriko, because they spent more than a few missions sharing a tent with her and know the power of her grudge holding abilities.

Iruka revenge pranks anyone who mocks Hayate for his health issues. *Anyone*. Anbu Hawk of that era had a very very very hard time explaining to his coworkers why his hair spontaneously turning fluorescent blue was totally his own life decision and not that he made the mistake of telling a genin with a cough to "know his limits" while in his chuunin identity and the genin's 14 year old teammate somehow stalked him to his apartment, dismantled his anbu grade security, and put an unremovable, scentless dye in his shampoo and now he has to wait for the dye'd hair to grow out enough to cut the colored part off.

Yuriko's parents were very :/ about her being put on a team with "mere orphans" instead of a clan kid because they already disapproved of her becoming a shinobi (but legally couldn't stop her), but at least if she was on a team with a clan boy there was a chance for marrying in. Yuriko took this as the sign to befriend her two orphan buddies and be the Most Ride Or Die Kunoichi Teammate to ever live. You might have noticed by this comment and the one in CfR about her becoming a genin corps member specifically to get disowned by them and realized she has Issues with her family. Like. Just in general. It's not just her parents. But that's a talk for another post probably.

Their chuunin exam took place in Kiri when Iruka was 16, not long after Iruka decided he wanted to become a chuunin teacher at Academy rather than a jounin (even though he had the potential to do so) which was basically fun trauma times for all. When their teacher told them they had basically been voluntold to go to the exams in Kiri rather than let any of the teams with important clan kids go, they all had a powwow about what they wanted out of this deathtrap of an assignment. Hayate wanted to be promoted to chuunin because he had his sights set on becoming a jounin sword master that would be eligible to take on an apprentice someday, Iruka wanted to be promoted so he could immediately sign up to be an Academy teacher.

Yuriko: I wanna wash out into the genin corps.

Iruka and Hayate, who know that of them Yuriko is actually the most terrifying when it comes to frontline combat: ... um.

Yuriko: my parents have been talking about arranging a marriage of suitable value once I make chuunin or jounin.

Her two friends: ...understandable, sounds like a plan.

You have no idea how many genin from other villages these three managed to terrify. No idea. And the confusion when Yuriko dropped out at the 3rd stage of 1 vs 1 matches was huge.

They were *probably* the only one of the three Konoha teams sent to survive? The other villages had similarly bad losses, one of them (Iwa or Suna maybe) potentially lost *all* the teams they sent. The three of them surviving an exam in Kiri should be far more of a warning flag of these three's skill in general than most people actually realize.

All three of them still hang out when they can, usually just hanging out in an apartment and chatting, but sometimes they spar and let loose, which is *hilarious* and chaotic when you consider their various specialties and that only Hayate officially has jounin rank.

Their sensei is still alive! And doing good all told. She may or may not have another group of brats following on her heels during the current part of CfR's timeline. She comes and checks in on her only Team 7 when she has time.

[innocentimouto]

Do you have any issues with how Itachi was written

Oh yes.

I don't make my own posts about Naruto too much. I love Avatar and stick with it more than other fandoms because they delivered in so many aspects.

Naruto I saw as a kid and thought it was good and now every time I try to rewatch it, I can't deal with so many things. (Though I'm going through a phase of avoiding watching any anime at the moment for some reason, so maybe one day I'll get around to it.)

So I don't like making my own posts about Naruto because all I will do is criticize and point out flaws, which isn't bad I guess, but I'd rather do that with a show I actually like.

Anyway. Itachi. He's hailed as this great, selfless brother who would sacrifice the world for Sasuke. He's considered a child genius and on Hokage level.

Yet everything he does is stupid. What even is his goal? To have Sasuke kill him to avenge the clan...

Itachi chose to kill the clan. He blamed the clan for pushing him to do it. Apparently he missed the racism the Uchiha faced and how every Hokage never favored them in any way despite being one of the founders of the village. Imagine being in the military, sacrificing your life and children for your country, and your whole life the people you're protecting believe you're a traitor.

Somehow Itachi missed all of this? And just blamed his clan?? Because every single person within his clan was arrogant and hateful??

None of that makes sense. And it's just an excuse to justify killing all of them.

Itachi relentlessly tortures Sasuke again and again. Sasuke saw his clan's dead bodies, and somehow Itachi thinks he needs to see it all happen over and over again?

I'm sorry I thought all Uchihas were arrogant and evil and suffered from "the curse of hatred". Wouldn't just seeing his parents have been enough for Sasuke? How did Itachi rationalize doing that much torture to Sasuke? Everyone was already dead. Sasuke would have plenty to hate him for.

Then Itachi tells him to hate hate hate. Which is the propaganda against the Uchiha. And also why people think they tried to revolt...

So isn't Itachi just recreating the original problem? Does he even understand what he's doing to Sasuke?

And then Itachi returns and finds Sasuke weak, so he tortures him again. What's worse for me is that this is just brushed aside. Itachi strictly comes for Naruto. He takes out Kakashi.

Sasuke could only wake up from the best medic in the world. And people wonder why Sasuke decides to leave Konoha? Itachi just proved all of Sasuke's training was for nothing. Itachi targeted people close to Sasuke.

Kakashi is one of the best ninjas in the world and he lost. Why would Sasuke stay in the village where he'd risk watching people around him die again? Why would he stick around for people who have never bothered to understand him?

Why not go to the only place he could get stronger? Orichimaru is a monster, but Sasuke literally has no other choice. He isn't safe in the village. Not even his own teacher would offer any help. The village just let Itachi return. It's like his whole clan dying was for nothing. No one was doing anything to stop Itachi and no one seemed in a hurry to.

I'm veering off topic, but Itachi is horribly written with the only consistency being he hates his own people and constantly tortures Sasuke when he doesn't need to and is completely loyal to a government that would erase an entire clan if it stood in their way.

[tsukuyomii45]

(Ignore my last ask, that was an accident, sorry) The genderbend angst ask actually sparked a question inside my mind: how does Obito mourn Rin in an scenario where he didn't met Madara (either because the boulder incident didn't happen or because he was healed in another way like in Infinite Dream) but Rin still dies?

!!! TW - Mental Health + Dark Themes !!!

He'd go through severe depression. He and Kakashi don't get to talk for months because Kakashi is still dealing with his own mental issues, but Obito never blames him or thinks that it's his fault because he's aware that Rin did this on purpose - and that's what breaks him the most; that she forced herself to end her life in Kakashi's hands to get rid of the threat.

He also goes through PTSD, because unfortunately, his Sharingan was able to see the entire thing and burned it into his memory, so he'd dream of it every night and it's the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up.

He doesn't eat much, he doesn't sleep much, he cries every day for her, and he even at one point gave up on his dreams to be a Hokage because Rin was the only one that believed in him and pushed him to try his best, and without her his life just had no meaning.

He still continues functioning as a shinobi, though, but he simply becomes a killing machine. He projects and takes out his anger on his enemies and opponents and resorts to unethical and brutal ways of killing them. Minato wanted to put him in the ANBU, but Obito simply refused and told him he's fine as he is and didn't find any meaning in all of this. Minato tries to reprimand him regarding his brutal ways but Obito simply ignores him.

He turns into a colder person, and doesn't hesitate to harshly criticize anyone and anything because he just doesn't care anymore. He even criticizes Minato for his negligence and blames him for Rin's death because he was just never on time, which actually hurt his teacher.

After he finishes work he would isolate himself in his room in the dark, or late at night when the village is asleep, he'd head over to the cemetery to release his tears at Rin's grave, telling her that he doesn't know how to go on and live without her.

He would often teleport himself to the Kamui dimension where he would have a mental breakdown and release his pain and anger by destroying the structures, and this is why his voice turns raspy because this is where he releases his most painful and agonizing screams.

However, despite the person he turned into, his friends never gave up on him. Minato never gave up on him even though he was hurt several times by Obito, and Kushina never allows him to have an empty stomach or an empty fridge at home. Their undivided attention and continuous support eventually allows him to take a few, slow steps to heal. Eventually he and Kakashi finally get to talk and the two of them reconcile, and Kakashi promises him that he will support his dreams because that's what Rin would have wanted for him, and Rin would never have wanted them to be on bad terms, so they honor her by doing their best as friends, teammates and comrades.

[xhatake]

kakashi from ages 15-25

i feel like this song really emphasizes his lack of regard for his well-being & how destructive he is when it comes to his body. it's not always . there are some lines that hit the nail on the head in this song & i'd like to do an in-depth breakdown of it eventually.

i'd like to clarify that there are a lot of lines in this song that really hit the nail on the head these lines just stand out to me. I'd also like to point out that the overall tone of the song is why it stands out to me as well. There's a casualness to the way these ideas are presented, downplaying the depth that self-destruction can have, if that makes sense? It also makes me think of Kakashi looking back on these habits in handsights, trying to present them casually because they used to feel casual. normal. expected.

I'd also like to clarify that with time, Kakashi learns how to manage these feelings. Something I like to explore on this blog is Kakashi's healing process, how he learns to manage his trauma & the surrounding feelings. This song applies to his past & though he's still not always kind to his body, he loves it a lot more than he used to. He's worked hard to settle into his skin, to cultivate the body he wants to live in. He knows how special a journey that has been because he knows where he started. anyways lets go

aren't you supposed to burn if you're a star?

okay so right away this has me thinking about his gifted child burnout. He was a prodigy, a child weapon. He spent his entire childhood growing up at a velocity his mind was not prepared to comprehend. he builds up so many ideas of the person he is becoming that he almost doesn't realize it when he becomes that person. it becomes harder & harder to visualize the future because he doesn't expect to see it. He expects to burn until he cannot anymore & then die young, just like his father. It gets easier to visualize the future with time & by the time he's in his early/mid 30's, he's even excited for it. but it's not easy getting there.

i punish my body because its not good enough for me

mm mm mm this makes me think of kakashi's lack of regard for his physical wellbeing. we see it in canon, him ignoring wounds, pushing himself to the max, rejecting medical care. But I also have headcanons surrounding this as well. I headcanon his chidori really tears up his arms, he has used sex as a means of self-harm, he doesn't sleep the way he should. I think this is partially rooted in a disconnect that he used to feel in his body when he was young, before he was able to have more autonomy over it. There is a really beautiful journey that follows him coming to terms with this state of mind. I do think kakashi knows that he's physically attractive. I think he delights in it. But sometimes there is a lack of connect with self to body if that makes sense? He learns how to love himself with time, he loves the body he cultivates. He has good days & he has bad days, but eventually more of them are good. Then it leads to the point that most of them are good... he learns how to value his own well-being with time, whether or not he wants to.

i wanna feel much better than i do when i am at my best

this is one of those lines that just hit hard. when kakashi is doing his best on paper, he's usually at his worst internally. not always, i'd like to emphasize the word ' usually ' because there are a few exceptions. but there is this implication that when he is doing well in the shonobi world, he is doing terribly inside. he's waiting to die terribly, he's accepted that he's going to, he even hopes for it some days. again some highs & lows are easier to manage than others, but during this time he never really feels good. he feels okay, sometimes. but he never crosses the threshold of feeling good about what he's doing, how he's acting, the way he treats his relationships in life. he often feels he falls short of his own expectations, as well as others'.