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okay-j-hannah · 4 years ago

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May The Best Man Win

The Marauders : Oneshot

James x Reader x Sirius

Word Count: 9358

Warnings: I’m not a big swearer, but I did add something in the end 😂 this turned way angsty, like A LOT, which is what I think the requester wanted

Request: “y/n can’t choose between James and Sirius. preferably tons and tons of angst” - Anon

A/N: A friendly competition turns sour as these best friends fight for your heart without any good intentions

“This is simple.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is!”

Sirius sunk further into his chair, covering his eyes with one hand and another holding an ice cold butterbeer.

James stood from the couch, fingers to his temples, glasses askew, “Listen, I saw her first, therefore I get dibs.”

“You shouldn’t call dibs on a girl,” Remus muttered, his quill whizzing across his essay, “That’s not fair for her or for any other potential suitors.”

Peter peered up at his scarred friend from his place on the rug, “Are you saying you fancy her too, Mooney?”

“You can’t claim the girl just because you saw her first,” Sirius reiterated, continuing to block the firelight as it burned his gaze. “Besides, I was the first one to actually speak to her.”

“Is that true, Prongs?” Peter asked, eyes flipping between all those that were talking.

James messed with his hair again, “Well… that’s only because you caught my snitch as it drifted towards her.”

“So you could say that you led me to her.”

The two friends shared a look, one smirking and one grimacing. James paced in front of the fireplace, loosening his tie as Peter followed him with his gaze. Sirius appeared amused that he not only got the first introduction with this girl, but also in flustering his friend.

“Can I ask – are you two interested in this girl because you actually fancy her, or because you want to beat one another?” Remus asked, taking a heavy sigh and corking his ink bottle.

James appeared affronted while Sirius simply looked tired, “I don’t know, I was rather enjoying seeing Potter break his neck while I wooed the lady.”

“Of course I like her, Mooney, why else does a chap make a fool of himself.”

“Oh, come on, Prongs. You only slipped in the corridor twice,” Sirius mused, taking a sip of his drink. “Forgive me, I didn’t count the time you fell through the Fat Friar – that would make it three times.”

Remus rolled up his parchment and added in a delighted voice, “For a gifted quidditch player you can really trip over nothing, can’t you James.”

Sirius chuckled, sneaking a glance at his pacing friend, “Seeking love is a fools errand.”

“If you really believe that then why are you fighting against me asking (Y/N) out?”

“Are you telling us that you’ve found love at first sight?”

James grimaced, leaning against the mantle, “Not… not necessarily.”

“You just think she’s very pretty?” Remus questioned, now settling into the conversation with his homework done.

“No!”

“Beautiful, then?” Peter suggested. And with a swift look from his peer, he shut his mouth.

“Look, I’ll admit that (Y/N) is very attractive, and she caught my eye…”

Sirius cleared his throat, looking off into the distance, “And every other bloke in the Great Hall.” He practically snickered at the sneer coming from James.

“But you need someone to distract you from Lily Evans consistently rejecting your advances,” Remus delivered mercilessly, “You needed a beautiful rebound to make her jealous.”

Sirius finally sat straight in his chair, eyes uncovered, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

James was overly flustered again, hair seeming to frazzle with static, “Well, it sounds a lot worse when you say it like that.”

“You mean the truth?” Remus muttered, folding his arms to warm his cool hands, “If no one’s going to take into consideration the feelings of this girl, I might as well.”

“Alright, I have a bet,” Sirius stated loudly over Remus. He took a mighty swig of his butterbeer, “We both want a girl for the wrong reasons.”

James frowned, wiping a hand over his face, and Peter interjected, “Prongs wants her for the rebound – what’s your wrong reason, Padfoot?”

“Haven’t you been listening to the conversation?” Sirius continued, “I just wanted to spite him, taking the girl right from under him.” His elbows rested on his knees, hands clasped together, “How about we make it a proper competition. You’ll be able to take your mind off Evans and I’ll have something to do other than pantsing Filch and backtalking Minnie.”

The disapproval was immediate on Remus’ face, but he let them finish their statements, knowing precisely when to intervene. James furrowed his brow, a finger between his lips as he contemplated.

“It definitely would make Lily notice.”

“Possibly jealous.”

“And you could build cred that you’re the romantic type.”

“And the ladies will be lining up at my door to get a piece of the action.”

Peter again seemed bewildered at the talk, “I’m sorry, what – what is this proper competition?”

Remus sighed, willing his patience to continue, “These two are disregarding the feelings of a fellow classmate in the hopes that she’ll better their love lives outside of their fake relationship.” When the poor blonde boy seemed even more confused, he added, “Essentially these two want to try and win over (Y/N)’s affection, seeing which one gets it first, and then drop her flat with no consequences.”

“Ah, but the reward will be great,” Sirius stated, grinning, “Breaking one girls heart is worth the dozens that will be willingly given to me afterwards.”

James appeared a bit more skeptical, much to Remus’ satisfaction, “And Lily will realize what she’s been missing out on.”

“You two are impossible,” Remus finally uttered, “I will not condone this; I think you sometimes forget that I am a Gryffindor Prefect.”

“No, I could’ve sworn it was Ravenclaw.”

“Smartass.”

“Besides the point,” Remus waved his hands, light igniting his gaze, “I will not have you play with this girls emotions and then drop her brokenhearted and despising you for the rest of our time at Hogwarts, if not the rest of our lives.”

Sirius let there be a pause after the statement before continuing with a kind of vigor, “Well, now that we’ve gotten the grouchy warning out of the way. I’d say we put it to a vote.”

James nodded, “All in favor of this proper competition for the affections of the one (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He raised his hand along with Sirius.

After another tense pause and a threatening glare from Sirius, an intimidated Peter reluctantly rose his hand. Remus gave a heavy sigh, crossing his arms tighter against his chest, “This happens every time – you can’t will Peter to your side in every argument.”

“Well, at least for this one, we have,” Sirius laughed, rising from his chair and waltzing over to his friend for a bone crushing handshake, “May the best man win.”

James returned the aggressive grip, staring into the mischievous glint in Sirius’ eyes, “And upon agreement, we do not let her know of this competition, this is (Y/N) falling for us naturally using our own wit and charm.”

“Therefore, I will be gaining the advantage because I am overflowing with both.”

Peter chimed in with a nervous smile, “And we can’t persuade her to go for one of you over the other?”

“No, we’ll use you as spies,” James continued, massaging his crushed hand, “If she decides to talk to you about one of us, you are legally bound to tell us everything she said.”

“And if we tell you to pass along particular information, you will please do exactly that.” Sirius returned to his chair but opted for leaning against the back of it. “And the competition will only end when she is given the ultimatum and has chosen one of us.”

James nodded, pulling his tie even looser, “And we have by the end of the school year – if she hasn’t chosen by then we’ll give her the final question before exams.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” Remus huffed, “Don’t lay a question like that on the girl before exams; at least wait until after when she has nothing else to worry about.”

“Well, I don’t think we’ll have to think about that,” Sirius gloated, “Because I’ll make her fall months before final exams.”

~~~

(Y/N) wandered the corridor, a very peculiar incident waying on her mind. She just had the most bewildering interaction with James Potter right outside the Great Hall. The boy was all in a tither, apparently at the end of a rather exhausted sprint down the main staircase.

“Good – Good afternoon, (Y/N),” he had huffed. “How are you?”

She smiled, puzzled, “I’m fine, thank you. You don’t seem to be, though.” She gave him a hesitant look and watched as he awkwardly tried to gather himself.

“Right, yes – it’s hard to run down stone stairs without falling – takes all my concentration; especially when my focus is elsewhere.” He gazed at her behind his squared glasses, hoping he wasn’t being too subtle.

(Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek, scrunching her face as she thought, “What’s on your mind?”

When he grinned at her reply, she couldn’t help but find him quite cute. His gleaming smile complimented his light eyes and dark hair well. Of course she had heard of Potter, him and all of his boisterous friends, but she’d never found herself caught up in a one-on-one conversation with him.

Just the other day she ran into his best mate, Sirius, in the Great Hall. And from that interaction it appeared he’d never laid eyes on her before. Perhaps he said something to James?

“I saw you crossing the corridor. I was trying to think of something clever to say.”

It was incredibly apparent that James was feigning a kind of bravado that his friend Sirius had once shown her. But all too noticeably she was able to pick out the hesitance and anxiety behind his words.

It made her smile even more as he peered down through his unbalanced glasses.

“And you came up with ‘good afternoon’?” she snickered, readjusting her heavy book bag. “You sure it took all of your concentration? Seems a bit obvious.”

This time he laughed along with her, finding his hands itching to fidget with his snitch. How was he supposed to focus on befriending (Y/N) when he had Sirius’ obnoxious face in the back of his mind? He could practically hear his friend mocking his conversational direction.

“Yeah, you got me,” he sighed, “I saw you and my mind went blank.”

She paused momentarily, letting that sentence tense the room. He appeared to sense the shift, messing with his hair even more, which she noticed with a skip in her heartbeat. What could she say? It was cute.

“Well – I’ve got to get studying.” She gestured her path set for the oak front doors, “I promised myself I would ace McGonagall’s exam.”

James saw his opportunity immediately and chose to seize it, “I’ve been meaning to study too! Do you want a study partner? I’m completely hopeless, but I have no doubt you could put me to good use.”

She couldn’t deny the plea in his gaze. Did he really want to? Why would he, all of the sudden? They were never great friends before. But when his tousled hair fell over the rim of his glasses, the skip in her chest wouldn’t allow her to refuse.

“Sure, if you don’t mind going outside. I like walking along the forbidden forest and sitting in the pumpkin patch.”

Her acceptance was enough to make James bounce on the balls of his feet, “Perfect.” He leaned towards the front doors and she took the hint to lead the way. In another stroke of genius he reached out a hand, “Let me carry your bag; you look about ready to collapse under the weight.”

“Are you calling me weak, Potter?”

He smirked at the use of his last name, “Absolutely not. It’s just, I told you I was hopeless with the studying. Maybe my uses will fall under ‘pack mule.’”

It made her laugh enough that she willingly shrug the bag off her shoulder and into his hands.

He liked the sound of her laugh. It was the kind of laugh that infected everything within its vicinity. It even made him want to join her, but he chose to offer a pleasant smile.

In that unsavory part in the back of his head, James could see Sirius unwillingly placing a point under ‘Potter.’ It looked like he was getting the head start.

Back in the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius was brooding against his window, staring down at the grounds. He was witnessing the playful interactions between James and (Y/N) in the pumpkin patch.

They each sat on their own massive pumpkins, which were grown to colossal size for the Halloween festivities. They appeared to be laughing, James distracting her from whatever she was reading.

James quickly snatched the book from her hands, and she jokingly nudged his arm in protest. He held the book high and laughed at her pout.

It made Sirius clench his fists against the stone wall. If only he had gotten to her first. He would have to put some extra effort into getting on her good side after today. Just the way she sneaked glances at James when he wasn’t looking already put Sirius on edge.

There was no way James was more charming then him. Sure they were a pair, but James was the one good at sports, family dinners, and sneaking around the castle with his invisibility cloak. Sirius was the one good with wit, flirting, and sneaking them in and out of trouble.

He couldn’t help but think of how much more capable James was with relationships too. He was always a bit more open and willing to share then Sirius ever was.

“If you ground into that wall any harder, I fear the stone will start to turn to dust.” Remus laughed aloud, in the middle of a game of Exploding Snap with Peter.

Sirius had to will his hand out of its clenched fist. “Just look how far he’s gotten. She all over him!”

“Shoving him away is hardly the definition of ‘all over him.’” Remus corrected, placing another card on his tower, “They’re simply being friendly.”

“Your heart isn’t in the game, Mooney. I can’t trust your judgement.”

Sirius watched as the sun began to dip and James offered another stroll towards the Black Lake. How dare he! That was Sirius’ move.

“You spoke to her first, didn’t you?” His tone was flat, but Remus always had the need to cheer his friends. “I doubt she’s forgotten you so quickly.”

“You’re not seeing the way she looks at him.”

“It’s only been a few days, Padfoot,” Peter muttered, always afraid to be snapped at for his opinion. “(Y/N)’s sensible – she’ll weigh her options carefully. You’ve got plenty of time to show her what you have to offer.”

Surprisingly, Sirius didn’t feel the need to belittle Peter, “I’m just going to have to think of a more memorable event. Sure James could bump into her and do some homework outside. But that’s not so significant, students do homework every day.”

“What do you consider an insignificant event?” Peter paused his turn at the Exploding Snap tower, sensing the uneasiness in Remus’ brow.

“Please don’t tell me your intentions include the hospital wing?” Remus asked.

Sirius tried to watch the couple out the window with the darkness descending on them. “It won’t be needed if I can catch her in time.”

Remus widened his tired eyes, Peter attempting to match the mood. “What are you thinking, Sirius? Don’t be doing anything stupid. Getting expelled isn’t worth this bet.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous. It’s nothing to be worried about – not by you two.” He retreated to his bed, stretching out with a new air of confidence, “Damsels in distress can’t resist a prince charming.”

“I have to insist, Sirius.”

He rolled his eyes, “If I tell you, there’s a chance James will find out. I don’t need any interference.”

“So help me,” Remus glowered, “If I find out this girl is incapacitated because of your tomfoolery…”

“Relax, Mooney – all’s fair in love and war.”

~~~

The rain was falling into a lazy drizzle, calming the cold that had plagued them that morning. (Y/N) followed the stone steps outside and up towards the owlery, protecting her letters from the last remnants of rainfall.

She dwelled on her conversation with her good friend Mary MacDonald last night. It was a much needed vent about the last few weeks, and Mary was more than willing to listen. She was always a sweet friend.

“James Potter? Are you serious?”

“Yes!” (Y/N) had said, “And we walked along the forest and the lake well into the night. We just talked and talked, and it was actually… really nice.”

“I always thought Potter was a bit of a pompous prat.”

(Y/N) laughed, “Sometimes that does shine through, but I’m getting good at knocking him off his high horse when it does.”

Mary ran a hand through her hair, thinking, “Have you done anything since then?”

“To tell you the truth it’s like he can’t leave me alone. He keeps cropping up in all sorts of places – it’s like I can’t refuse him as a friend now. It’s usually when I’m studying in the Great Hall or the library; he shows up with treats or ideas about walking the quidditch pitch.”

There was a strange glint now entering Mary’s eyes. She let (Y/N) ramble on some more, waiting for some dire information.

“I’ll admit it’s been fun, it’s definitely confusing, but also fun. I’m starting to get used to having him around – he’s always cracking jokes. He knows how to make me laugh. And...”

“Oh, and his hair, right? How he’s always ruffling it around,” Mary put an edge of mockery in her tone, but she was thrilled with the wide eyed reaction from (Y/N). “And his glasses…”

(Y/N) stared at her friend for a moment too long before a blush betrayed her, “… they’re always crooked.”

Mary nodded to herself, a fist under her chin and a smug look on her face. “You like him, don’t you?”

She gave it a lot of thought, “I don’t know. He’s cute and I enjoy being around him. But it’s too soon to tell.”

“It seems pretty obvious to me,” Mary concluded, pointing at her friend accusingly, “You have feelings for James Potter.”

(Y/N) began to retort, “We’ve only been hanging out for a week!”

“And he’s obviously been doing something right because you are still thinking about that week.”

Now as (Y/N) climbed the staircase towards the owlery, she sighed. Maybe she did feel something for James. She couldn’t deny the skipping of her heart every time he brushed her shoulder with his.

After tying her letters to nearby barn and screech owls, (Y/N) went for her favorite spot just outside the tower. She sat on the railing and let her legs swing in the open air, taking a deep breath of the crisp wind.

The stone was still damp from the ceasing rain and it made her fingertips cold touching it. She had hoped the fresh air would clear her head of her recent puzzling thoughts and feelings. But the longer she sat there, the more she found her mind fogging up.

What was she doing sitting on the railing? How did she get up there?

Shaking her head a bit, (Y/N) tried to turn herself around but found another wave of confusion hit her.

Where was she, again?

And reflexively scooching to one side to peer at her surroundings, (Y/N) found herself unbalanced and sliding off whatever she was sitting upon. Was this a railing?

She began to slip off the damp stone, a sudden shriek on her lips. Her feet found no traction as they descended further, and her hands grappled for any kind of purchase. In just a few seconds she was dangling from the edge of the staircase, fingers cold and numb against the rough bricks.

She couldn’t find her voice as she struggled to wedge a foot along the side. Heavy breaths came from her lungs as whimpers escaped her.

But in another few seconds, she heard another’s voice.

“Woah! What are you doing?”

Frantically turning her gaze upward, (Y/N) saw a familiar face. Sirius Black?

“H-Help.”

He copied her panicked face, fumbling with stowing his wand. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” His hands found hers and he began to hoist her up.

(Y/N) scrambled over the edge, feeling the numbness that started in her fingers trail through the rest of her body. She could hardly comprehend the way she fell into Sirius’ arms, clutching at his cloak out of sheer panic.

“Hey, I’ve got you. You’re safe now, (Y/N).”

He felt the shivers racking her body as he held her to him. An unexpected pang of guilt shot through him. She had fistfuls of his cloak, fear plain in her eyes as she stared at a fixed point ahead.

“Are you all right?” When she didn’t respond, Sirius tried cupping her face, turning her gaze to him. “Are you all right, (Y/N)?”

She looked at him hard, blinking furiously as warmth began to seep back into her bones. “I – um… I think so.”

“You’re not hurt at all?”

She stared at the way his face changed when he asked it. A crease formed between his eyebrows and his eyes were set upon hers. She started to feel his hands on her cheeks and a sudden rush of heat flooded them.

“No, no – I think I’m good.”

That warmth began to unfreeze her limbs, her mind no longer so foggy. She took a deliberate step away from Sirius, embarrassed by the momentary close contact.

He held his hands up, noticing the swift retreat, “Hey, I’m just checking. You look a little shaken.”

She looked around her, “I don’t understand,” she muttered.

“What were you doing sitting on the edge of the stairs? You do realize it was raining this morning.”

She looked harder but couldn’t find any reason. She must’ve just slipped, though she’d sat on that railing for years and never fallen. “I come up here to think. I’ve never fallen before.”

He nodded but kept a concerned look on his face, “You seem a little dazed. Maybe you should visit the hospital wing – Madam Pomfrey might have something to calm you down.”

“I told you I was all right.”

“I know, but it would make me feel better if you got checked out anyways.”

Was her mind still foggy or was Sirius Black showing genuine concern? She snapped her gaze back to his and realized that the arrogant flirt from that day in the Great Hall was completely gone. It was almost bewildering to see his face without the smugness or the classic smirk.

Her stomach churned, whether from leftover fear or freshly made nerves, she didn’t know. But she was compelled to return the compassion.

“Thank you,” she said, “For pulling me up.”

A smile returned to his features, “It’s no problem. Damsels are my specialty.”

So the arrogant flirt was still in there.

“It was lucky you came over here. I would’ve been a goner.”

She waited for him to say something obnoxious like ‘yeah, you are lucky, princess,’ or ‘just call me savior from now on.’ But he caught himself with his mouth agape, it was a calculated hesitance.

“I’m glad,” he said, more sincerity in his tone. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Her stomach did another involuntary flip. Did Sirius always have such a nice smile? She never realized how kind it was, or how warm his eyes were.

“Can we stop by the hospital wing real quick?”

“We?” she murmured, still dazed by the sudden rush of epiphanies.

He chuckled, “I’d like to follow through, if you don’t mind. What if you slipped on your way down to the castle?”

(Y/N) recognized the chuckle as something to accompany a witty remark, but this time it was partnered with a warm gaze and a slanted brow.

“Sure,” she said, hesitantly. “Are you sure you’re all right? You’re acting strange.”

He laughed again, leading the way back down the stairs, respectfully keeping his distance from her now. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean,” (Y/N) hid her hands in her pockets, hoping the redness had dulled in her cheeks, “You haven’t said anything irritatingly pretentious yet.”

He let out a low whistle, “The damsel bites back.” She didn’t say anything more so he shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to assume I’m like that all the time.”

Had she made assumptions? She had only spoken to him that one other time in the Great Hall.

~~~

There was a very clear thwack as the portrait swung closed. Mumblings could be heard from the Fat Lady and a string of first and second years scrambled to move their things elsewhere and avoid the coming carnage.

James came tromping towards the corner of comfy couches the marauders normally occupied, finding the trio he was seeking.

“You have some explaining to do,” he pointed at Sirius, “And it better be lengthy and detailed.”

The venom was perfectly seen in his words, and it only made the victory that much sweeter in Sirius’ eyes. “Yes, Prongs?”

“How unrelentingly pig-headed are you? How much of a conniving, thieving git are you?” James began to rise his voice much to the growing grin on Sirius’ face.

Remus began to contort his brow, “What’s happened, James?”

“What’s happened is that Sirius has no regard for (Y/N)’s safety. Apparently it was thrown out the window when he decided to toy with her to get back at me.”

“Who said anything about getting back at you? I’m just playing the game.” Sirius was much too relaxed on the sofa for James’ liking.

Peter piped up, “What’s happened to (Y/N)?” He had grown quite fond of the girl whenever they met in the library. She was always kind to him when he struggled with assignments.

“Sirius landed her in the hospital wing!” James hissed, “She just told me downstairs.”

Remus rounded on their friend, “You said you wouldn’t let it get that far!”

“You knew about it!”

“Is (Y/N) all right?”

Sirius yelled the loudest, “Alright, you pansies, calm yourselves. (Y/N) is fine.”

“Not before she was almost thrown off the side of the owlery.”

Remus felt his jaw drop, “You shoved her off the stairs?”

Sirius jumped to his feet, “Now, now, Mooney – let’s not fall to any conclusions. (Y/N) was sitting on the railing and I simply nudged her into the perfect position for a rescue.”

James was fighting the urge to sock his friend in the face. “By having her fear for her life, dangling on the side of a mountain?”

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t meant to go that far.”

“Then how far, exactly?” Remus urged, “Be careful, Sirius – I might not hold James back from hitting you.”

“I just sent a little confundus charm her way while she was sitting there so she would forget why she was there in the first place. Then I thought I’d surprise her, she’d jump a bit, I’d steady her so she wouldn’t fall… easy.”

James had to cross his arms very tightly to keep them from swinging, “And you took the charm too far?”

Sirius felt a familiar pang of guilt, the look of terror on (Y/N)’s face as she clutched at him resurfacing in his memory. “Perhaps. But she’s all right, isn’t she? I took her to the hospital wing just to make sure, and Madam Pomfrey said after a nights rest she’d be fine!”

The silence was tense and anxious. Remus looked ready to attack Sirius just as much as James wanted to, but maybe not as ferociously. Peter cowered in the corner, wishing to run from the fight.

Sirius was the only one with a casual look on his face, “You two are overreacting.”

“I can’t believe you would put (Y/N) into such unnecessary danger,” Remus remarked.

“You’re overlooking the benefits, though,” Sirius continued, “Clearly (Y/N) has been talking about me. Clearly she has me on her mind, exactly where I want to be.” He stared smugly at James, relishing in his fuming state.

James couldn’t comprehend the fury he was feeling. How dare Sirius take such measures. How dare he hurt someone he cared about.

Wait.

Someone he cared about?

“This isn’t a game anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

“This is (Y/N) we’re talking about,” James reiterated, “She isn’t a chess piece – she’s our friend. You clearly are taking it way too far. I thought charm and flirting would’ve sufficed, but you want to throw in some death defying stunts…”

Sirius held his hands up, his smugness melting away, “Easy – you don’t think I was worried about her too? I’m sensing a little more than anger here, Prongs.”

James swallowed hard, his face set, “That might be my restraint in killing you right now.”

“No, no – I think you’re hiding some other unresolved feelings.” Saying the words did uneasy things to his chest, much to his chagrin. “Perhaps you’ve been enjoying your time with (Y/N) more than you thought.” Just the idea made unwanted jealousy bubble in his stomach.

Why would he feel that?

James had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something rash. From giving himself away.

“Just stay away from her – for a little while. I think you’ve traumatized her; she won’t go across a bridge without someone with her.” He began to retreat, coolness to his tone, wishing to be alone now.

“And let you get ahead? I don’t think so.”

James stopped in his tracks for only a second before thinking better of the situation and leaving the common room.

The remaining three sat in silence for a few minutes, Sirius finally feeling able to let his guard down and appear sulky. Peter flickered his beady eyes between his companions as Remus attempted to study Sirius’ face.

“Are you all right?”

Sirius barely sneered, “What?”

“We were so busy worrying about (Y/N), we didn’t ask how you were.” Remus tilted his head in thought, “You did almost send the girl to her death.”

The unwanted heat in his chest made Sirius stir uncomfortably, “It was a surprise.”

Remus knew better and waited for his friend to build up the courage to continue.

“When she fell over… for a split second – I didn’t know what to do.” He paused and waited to see if someone would stop him. He tried with difficulty to gather his thoughts, “I was terrified. I was angry at myself.”

There was another bout of silence and it appeared that Remus was satisfied with the outcome of his questioning. Sirius was relieved, it was overwhelmingly hard for him to describe his feelings.

“James isn’t going to forgive so easily.”

“I know that.”

“And (Y/N) doesn’t know her fall wasn’t accidental?”

“If she did I doubt she would’ve let me walk her back to her dormitory.” There was a distant look in Sirius as he thought of the memory. He was finally able to get her to smile again right before saying goodnight.

~~~

Mary was more skeptical than ever as they trudged through the snow covered grounds. It seemed impossible.

How could both James Potter and Sirius Black be fawning over her best friend?

“And then what did he do?”

“He pointed out the mistletoe and looked at me expectantly. And what was I supposed to do?” (Y/N) mused, almost embarrassed by how much she liked the moment.

“So you kissed him?”

“Don’t sound so disappointed – I thought you were team James from the beginning.”

Mary didn’t respond right away, “How was it?”

(Y/N) appeared to like that question, “Merlin, I’ve never had so many butterflies. He kissed me once, real quick. And it looked like he was going to say something, so I just went for another one!” She kicked a pile of snow, entirely too happy to remark on the few flakes that fell on her face. “And before I knew it, we were on the couch.”

“You didn’t…?”

“No, we just kissed.” (Y/N) said quickly, “But it was the best kiss I think I’ve ever had.”

The retellings of the Christmas weekend were definitely something to behold. Both Black and Potter decided to try and one up the others time with (Y/N). It appeared that Mary was the only one to have noticed. Merlin only knows what Sirius will do once he figured out James had kissed (Y/N).

“Well, what about Sirius? Did you two do anything over the weekend?”

“We spent Sunday with Remus and got in a snowball fight. Sirius shoved snow down my cloak like the git he is. But when we walked back to the castle he asked if I was all right.”

“He does that a lot, doesn’t he? Seems to wait for when no one is around.”

(Y/N) felt defiant, “Sirius doesn’t like people to know he’s a good guy. He has to keep up appearances, you know.”

Mary found the sudden urge to list the pros and cons of the boys laid out before them. “But James has never struggled with showing you how he feels.”

“But have you seen him around the quidditch pitch? I could climb to the moon on the ego he has while on a broomstick.”

“But he also is a gentleman – he carries your books, takes you out to Hogsmeade, brings you treats…”

(Y/N) blew hot air between her numb hands, “Yeah, but no one asks me how I’m doing more than Sirius. And he is determined to make sure I’m not lying; he hates it when I say, ‘I’m fine.’” She fiddled with her pockets as a frown soured her face, “And I’m pretty sure I caught James pining over Lily Evans the other day.”

That startled Mary a bit, “Did they use to go out?”

“No, but James fancied her a lot! Peter told me. She rejected him something fierce.”

“And you think he’s still stuck on her?”

“Maybe.” The grimace didn’t suit (Y/N). “And then there’s Sirius – the perpetual bachelor.”

Mary snuck a smile, “Yeah, but Sirius always has a string of girls wanting to go out with him. He lets his good looks get to his head.”

“Sometimes I think he doesn’t believe he’ll ever find someone,” (Y/N) mumbled, “I know his arrogant, witty side is a front. He almost gets nervous whenever I try to make a move.”

“Really?” Mary dramatized, “I thought Sirius Black never got nervous.”

“That’s cause you haven’t taken the time to get to know him.”

Mary nudged her further, “And what about James? Does he have some secret?”

(Y/N) pondered thoughtfully, “I think he’s scared no one likes him compared to Sirius. He has a good heart and comes from a wealthy family. But he wants to make a name for himself, so he puts everything he has into his friends and quidditch. He gets jealous quite a lot.”

“Interesting.”

“And that’s not even mentioning Sirius and his family. Man, I thought I didn’t get along with my parents, you should look at his.” She found herself taken slower and slower steps, her voice now lowering, “You know his entire family is in Slytherin? And he’s a Gryffindor… that should be enough to speak for his character. He despises what his family represents.”

“I didn’t know that.” Mary was now beginning to understand the predicament that (Y/N) had found herself in.

Both of these boys were setting up a dangerous game. One that was going to end only in heartbreak and guilt. And Mary didn’t like that her best friend was tangled in the middle of it.

“What are you going to do?”

(Y/N) paused, halting her steps. “You mean – who am I going to choose?”

“I don’t think you should let it go on much farther. I think both of them are falling for you and eventually one of them is going to be let down, and you’re going to feel terrible for doing it.”

They stood there ankle deep in snow as the gears turned in (Y/N)’s head. Mary could’ve sworn steam was beginning to come out of her ears.

“I don’t know if I can choose.”

Mary frowned, “Well, you need to explore your options. You obviously care for both of them, now you just need to figure out which one you love.”

(Y/N) swallowed hard at the thought: love.

“I haven’t kissed Sirius yet.”

“No, you haven’t,” Mary continued, helping the thinking aloud process. “But just because you can kiss them doesn’t mean you love them.” She was painfully aware of the numbness creeping into her stone cold feet, but (Y/N) didn’t appear to be.

And another set of footprints was coming their way, crunching in the snow.

“Oh, I think that’s James now. Act as if we haven’t been talking about him this whole time.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh as they were joined, “Hello, James.”

“Hi, (Y/N) – Mary. How are you?” His cheeks were rosy with the cold, his pale complexion making his ruffled hair stand out. He was staring only at (Y/N) as he asked the question.

She felt her heart throb, “I think my fingers are frostbit, but other than that, perfectly fine.” She laughed his favorite laugh.

“Well, no wonder; you’re not wearing any gloves.” And there was no hesitation as he reached for her hands to warm them up between his. He blew hot air between her fingers and rubbed them together.

(Y/N) was mesmerized, her flushed cheeks growing to down her neck. Mary noticed but didn’t say anything, only smirked.

“Better?” He stared at her with eyes alight with something Mary could only describe as adoring.

(Y/N) smiled, “Much.” She intertwined their fingers, asking him to join them back towards the castle.

~~~

“I think we have a problem.” Remus saw first, peering down the table at where James and (Y/N) were eating together. “I think our friend is losing sight of the goal.”

Sirius sat begrudgingly beside him, “Doesn’t he realize that every time he looks at Lily, (Y/N) notices?”

Speaking of the redhead, Lily Evans made her way down the aisle of seats to take one beside some other Gryffindors. James flickered his eyes to her before returning them to a suddenly much more sullen (Y/N).

Sirius practically growled into his dinner, “If he actually cared about (Y/N), he’d spare her feelings and go for Evans.”

Remus didn’t dare remark how at the beginning of the school year the pair of them were both ignoring (Y/N)’s feelings for a petty competition.

“Don’t be mean, Padfoot,” Peter whispered across the platters, “Just because they’ve kissed…”

He didn’t want the reminder. His fist clenched involuntarily beneath the table. “I can’t believe I’m losing. There’s no way he wants her more than I do.”

Perhaps he meant to say it just to himself, but it was loud enough for Remus to hear. The scarred boy felt sympathetic, looking to Sirius with a wary glance.

“Do you mean that?” Maybe he could give Sirius a much needed epiphany. “You want her?”

There was a silence as Sirius pounded away at his feelings. He felt them creeping up on him – making his heart race, his lungs constrict, his palms sweaty. He never used to feel that way. He was afraid to feel that way.

But he had tried to deny them for months now. After the mistletoe incident during Christmas, he had seemed to lose much of his persistence. His resolve was that he wanted (Y/N). Wanted her badly. But James had gotten there first.

Stupid, wonderful James. Of course she’d go for him.

Sirius looked at his best friend and knew he couldn’t ruin it for him. James deserved to be happy. Sirius couldn’t be selfish. As much as it now pained Sirius to see them together, he knew he wouldn’t forgive himself if he stole (Y/N) right from under James.

But what if she came willingly?

Oh, shut up.

Sirius had simply given up trying to win (Y/N)’s affections. At this point, he was just waiting for the final verdict. He still spent as much time as he could with her without breaking his heart. He just knew that she preferred spending that time with James.

And he was okay with that…

He was learning to be okay with that.

Remus caught himself falling into a pained grimace as he watched the rainbow of emotion reflect in Sirius’ face.

His friend was suffering while the other prospered. “You don’t have to answer. I’ve known it for a while now.”

Sirius swallowed hard, flexing his fists on his knees. “I think we have to give her the ultimatum soon. The Easter holidays are next week – we could give her till after. She could have the whole break to think about it. James and I are staying here anyways, it’ll be perfect.”

Remus still looked at him skeptically, “I should’ve stopped this bet before it got so serious.” They didn’t say anything, and Remus continued, “I think you both didn’t expect to fall for her so easily.”

“She’s easy to love.”

Remus tried not to have such a noticeable reaction. He knew the slightest hint towards that conversation would scare Sirius right off. “Maybe you should talk to her.” He pointed towards the couple rising from their seats, James kissing the back of (Y/N)’s hand.

Sirius didn’t respond as James came waltzing back towards them. He didn’t even see the still sullen look on (Y/N)’s face as she retreated.

“Evening, boys,” James mused, “I would like to say that I’m feeling rather good about my prospects. I do believe I’m going to win this bet.”

Sirius felt his hands shake, “And once you do, are you going back to Evans?”

“Sorry?” James wiped the smirk from his face.

“That was the point, wasn’t it? Get the rebound to make Lily jealous.”

James paused to think of a proper response, “Sure, to make Lily jealous, but that doesn’t mean I’ll go for her again.”

A slow nod, “So you’re planning on going steady with (Y/N).”

Remus flickered his eyes between his two friends, he tried to interpret the look on James’ face. Did he realize what these words were doing to Sirius?

“If she’ll have me, yeah.”

Sirius had to rise from his seat after that. “Excuse me.”

He sped down the aisle of seats, heart beating rapidly beneath his burning chest. There was only one face he wanted to see, one that he wanted to hold. It was almost involuntary how fast he scoured the corridors outside the Great Hall. All he knew was that he wanted to see her. He wanted to tell her, show her.

And there she was continuing her retreat back to her common room.

“(Y/N)!” he sped ever quicker, a painful throb echoing in his chest. He noticed her slow her steps, but not turn to look at him. “What’s going on?”

He was met with a distressed look on her face, “Hello, Sirius.”

“Are you all right?”

There was a flicker of a smile gracing her features, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m not sure.”

“Tell me,” he stated, staring into her downtrodden eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.” When she met his gaze it was like fire. “I – I don’t understand how I can choose.”

Sirius had an inkling about what she was referring too. As always he kept a respectable distance, not wishing to overwhelm her, though the burning in his chest tried to will him to hold her.

“Choose?”

“I’ve noticed James sort of pining over Lily. And when he does it makes me sad. Like I’m not the only girl for him.”

You’re the only girl for me.

“But when it’s just us two it’s like nothing else matters. I really do like him – but he’s not the only one on my mind.”

Sirius swallowed hard, “Yes?”

She stared up at him, guilt plainly visible. “But I don’t exactly know how he feels.” She remembered the way Sirius had held her face back when she tumbled off the owlery tower. The thought made her cheeks redden.

Sirius noticed, feeling that familiar churning in his stomach, something he usually fought against. But his hand betrayed him, reaching out to graze her blush with just his fingertips. His head yelled at him to stop, but his heart yearned to go further.

“And if you knew, it would help?”

“The plainer the better.” Her breathing hitched at the way his gaze melted into hers.

And then he was just inches away, his breath just as unsteady as hers against her lips. The fire seared through them as they connected, (Y/N) going limp but Sirius clamping his hands on either side of her face.

Every ounce of him screamed of desperation, of a longing for this moment. It was making (Y/N) dizzy, her lungs momentarily forgetting how to work. Sirius pulled away, catching his breath and leaning his forehead against hers.

“Does that tell you plain enough?”

She shivered at his whisper, “In the only way you can tell it. That’s always been you, Sirius – few words, full action.” She caught herself smiling but being confused at the contorted look on his face.

“You should take the Easter holidays. Think it through.” He finally backed away, though his hands held onto her for a fraction of a second longer, “We’ll respect your decision, no matter what it is.”

And unable to stand her gaze any longer, he ran off to the solitude of the Black Lake.

~~~

Peter shuffled uncomfortably at the Hogsmeade train station, Remus steady at his side. Steady, but concentrating on calming his nerves.

“How long does it take to get off the train?”

Remus sighed, “She’s probably getting every free second she can before facing us.”

The two of them were instructed to escort (Y/N) back to the castle, both James and Sirius agreeing the coming conversation would be handled better nearer to their dormitories.

James was afraid (Y/N) would pull a fast one and choose Sirius, even though they had a more intimate relationship.

Sirius was afraid that (Y/N) would pick James regardless of his moment of vulnerability with her. He couldn’t help but convince himself that she would want someone more apt at demonstrating public displays of affection.

Therefore, the duty was laid to Remus and Peter, the two that would ensure her safety and counsel her where it was needed.

Remus was collecting his thoughts as she quietly stepped off the train and onto the platform. He quickly offered to carry her trunk to the nearest carriage, “(Y/N)! How was your holiday?”

She gave a heavier sigh than expected, “Not long enough.”

Peter tip toed around to give her a hug, “We missed you. All of us.”

She tried to hold back a grimace, but followed them to the carriage, “They haven’t been giving you grief, have they?” There was a pause that confirmed her suspicions, “Of course they would be.”

“They’re anxious to see you,” Remus stated, sitting beside Peter, “They’re worried about you.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sirius more depressed. And James has dug an imprint in the rug from all his pacing,” Peter prattled, not taking much heed to his words. “It’s been a long week for them as well.”

(Y/N) frowned, “Yeah, I’ve been much the same. Thank you – for meeting me.”

The ride back up to the castle was mostly silent, Peter squirming and Remus remaining rigid. (Y/N) could feel them both wondering the same thing: what was her decision? It sent more anxiety flooding threw her at the thought.

Peter appeared to be getting at his wits end as the school loomed every closer, “(Y/N)… can I ask?”

“Hmm?”

He swallowed, “Who won?”

That took her aback. What an odd way to phrase it. “Won?” Remus attempted to subtly nudge his friend a warning, but (Y/N) quickly caught it. “You mean won my affections? Who beat the other? How silly – you make it sound like a competition.”

She smiled but felt a wave of paralysis at the stony response from the other two. Peter looked absolutely petrified as Remus seemed to collect himself quicker.

“Yes, a very silly way to put it. He meant, who did you choose? Of course.”

“Are you…” she peered at them, her mind overworking. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“No, not at all,” Remus said all too quickly, “We’re just looking out for our friends.”

(Y/N) seemed more and more skeptical. The way these two were sitting uncomfortably put her on edge. There was clearly something going on and she knew exactly who to target for further questioning.

“Peter?”

The small blonde boy widened his eyes in fear, knowing his own resolve will be corrupted immediately. Remus seemed to think this too, closing his eyes to hide his exhausted defeat.

“What are you hiding? Has it got something to do with James and Sirius?”

Peter felt his own head nod without consent from his mind. He also felt a second jab to the ribs from Remus.

“Well, what is it?” She felt her heart beat faster. She knew it had something to do with what she said before. “Is… does it have to do with some competition?”

Peter turned towards his taller friend with a pleading look, very quietly saying, “It was a kind of competition.”

~~~

James and Sirius waited in the grounds near the pumpkin patch that was now filled with spring weeds and flowers.

A new imprint in the dirt spoke of James’ pacing, his hands being wrung before him. He kept straightening his hair to no avail, his skewed glasses falling farther and farther down his nose. He couldn’t understand how Sirius could stand so still near him.

Sirius was a statue, the only evidence of life being the quickened pulse and strenuous breaths working his lungs. He was determined not to show his reaction to her picking James. He was practicing now – practicing in keeping his composure.

It got harder as he saw students begin to flood the school gates. He watched James pause his frantic steps, straining to find their friends. Sirius refrained from doing it too, knowing that if he let himself he would begin to unravel.

James clutched his fidgeting hands together, spotting (Y/N), Remus, and Peter near the back of the crowd. A grin split his features and he bounced on his toes, “There they are!”

The two of them had hardly spoken a word all week, each wondering how their friendship would be after one of them was chosen. It was still hard to feel that the ‘best man should win,’ when each hoped that they’d be picked.

Sirius peered at the three figures making their way towards them across the grounds. Remus and Peter seemed less eager to reach them, carrying a trunk and keeping their heads down. (Y/N), on the other hand, was determinedly marching her way over.

It was plain to see that those steps were fueled with a kind of vigor. A kind of anger. And it seemed like James was beginning to recognize it too. He retreated a few steps to stand beside Sirius.

“Does she look upset to you?”

“It looks like she’s crying,” Sirius muttered. He could feel himself beginning to snap and unravel against his better judgement.

And the closer she got, the truer the assessment was. Her face was blotched and twisted in a kind of fury, one that made her breaths come out in sputters.

“You…” her voice was weak and betrayed.

And both boys had an idea on what was happening, though neither wanted to admit it. James craned his neck to see the ashamed looks on Remus and Peter’s faces.

“Now, (Y/N),” he stated, his anxious excitement plummeting to fear. “I don’t know what you heard…”

Sirius felt the blood drain from his face. What little hope he was experiencing distinguished in an instant.

(Y/N) finally reached them, raising her hand and giving an almighty smack across James’ cheek. She stumbled backward and looked ready to deliver another to Sirius.

James staggered, holding his face, absolutely stunned. But Sirius straightened out, knowing that he deserved it. But (Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to do it again; she resorted to shoving Sirius away, hitting and pounding at his chest where she could.

“You… complete… arrogant… selfish… FUCKS!”

Cracks appeared in Sirius’ heart, his shoulders sinking to block her blows but not to stop her. She fumed, using her full force to push him away and retreat a few steps.

“A bloody COMPETITION? I suppose it was all some grand joke to you two.” She was sobbing now, fresh tears streaming down her already puffy cheeks. “Let’s see if we can get the stupid, naïve girl to fall in love with us – was that it?”

She paused for only a second, not wishing for a response just now, “I should have seen something what with the both of you wanting to suddenly be best friends with me out of the blue – and at the exact same time!” She ran her fingers harshly into her hair, “And it was all a LIE.”

Sirius started to shake his head, but James beat him to the first spoken word, “It’s not like that, (Y/N), not anymore.”

“Not ANYMORE?”

“Honest,” James tried to continue, “At first it was just to see who’d you like more. And now we – we both – feel very, very different.”

(Y/N) had her hands on her hips, not even bothering to wipe away her tears. “And that’s supposed to redeem the fact you did it in the first place?”

“No! Of course not, it’s just…” he looked towards the paralyzed Sirius, “You need to know that regardless of the intentions, we’ve both developed very real feelings for you.”

“Real enough to forget about Lily Evans?” she practically shrieked, “Did the rebound work for you?”

James stuttered, unable to form a worthy enough response. But (Y/N) didn’t need it, the look on his face was good enough. She instead rounded on Sirius, “And you.”

He set his jaw but blinked a few times. The burning, yearning in his chest was now aching – destroying him from the inside out.

“I suppose you think it’s funny trying to kill me to get my attention.”

The air left his lungs, “I… I never – I could never – find that funny.” But the hatred in her eyes was so real he thought nothing he said would take it away. It made him want to cower. “It was foolish and accidental how you fell. It wasn’t supposed to go that far.”

But she didn’t want to hear it. How he wished he could wipe her face clear, to kiss the pain away.

James outstretched a hand, “Please, (Y/N) – let’s go sit and talk. Allow us to apologize.”

She immediately started to shake her head, “I don’t need an apology. I couldn’t trust it anyway. I just wanted to see the look on your faces when I told you my decision. That I’ve made my choice.” She contorted her face into an unflattering sneer, “That neither of you get to win.”

She retreater farther, edging towards the castle, “Don’t you dare speak to me. Don’t you dare look at me. From this day on, you don’t exist in my mind. And you’re going to keep it that way.”

James took a hesitant step towards her but knew it was too late. She was stumbling away, uneasy on her exhausted feet. He felt his own eyes burning, not realizing that tears were flooding them. He let out a breath that stuttered and whimpered.

Sirius thought he could describe without a doubt the feeling of your heart being torn from your chest. He was beyond tears, beyond regret. There was no way he could recover from the despair that now encumbered him. He turned to the pained looks of Remus and Peter.

He saw their lips moving but could hear no noise. He found he couldn’t catch his breath.

This quite possibly could be the biggest mistake that either of them will make in their entire lives.

~~~

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lesbiancarat · 3 years ago

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Hi 👋🏽 it’s new carat here again. I’m sorry if this is really annoying but thank you so so so much for su ha well written and comprehensive answer to my ask.

I’m super shy but the main issue I guess is understanding the whole Mingyu situation. I’m just so confused because on one hand I’ve seen people say the bullying and other allegations have been cleared up and it’s done and the painting he made was taken out of context.

But then I see a lot of people saying he’s problematic, a misogynist, he voted red and I’m just confused about it. I know he posted a picture that was ill timed but the people saying he’s a red supporter also defended another groups clothing colour. It’s overwhelming. Because I definitely believed a lot of the rhetoric about him a few weeks ago and took on a lot of what people said. He got really dog piled and I can’t find any objectivity because people rail him and then I see people getting defensive.

Another thing as a south Asian woman is the curry song but I know they won’t apologise for that because it’s not unacceptable in SK. So I am disappointed but I hope they just don’t do it again.

I thank you so much for all your help and explanations and I do agree that they seem to be far less problematic than people have told me.

i'm gonna put everything under a read more since this is a long ass post

i also ask that no one reblogs this post. it's just a lot of information that i'd feel more comfortable staying on my blog. thank you for your understanding!

So there's a couple issues going on here. For clarity I've separated this post into sections with bolded heading's. As I said, I've tried to make this as objective as possible in describing the actual events, but it's important to keep in mind that it's impossible to get rid of bias entirely. Where I shared my opinion I tried to make it clear that it was my own opinion.

Mingyu Bullying

This is by far the most complicated situation of the one's you mentioned, just because of the sheer amount of information (and misinformation) surrounding it, as well as the number of parties involved. So naturally this is also probably going to be the longest section in this post. I'm also going to link several things, including translations of forum posts and statements by Pledis. Reading these is essential to understanding and forming your own opinion on the situation. I'll reiterate some things in my narration, but I'll leave out some important details because I'm assuming you will read everything I link. Also, I'll go into more detail, but I'd just like to say upfront that he did get cleared of all charges.

It started with a forum post from a former classmate of Mingyu's from middle school (OP1). She claimed that Mingyu would sometimes say things like "what do you know" when she spoke and he and other boys would make sexual jokes around her that made her uncomfortable. For clarification, the sexual jokes were not directed toward her or about her, it was the equivalent of them making dick jokes amongst themselves, but she was around and those jokes made her uncomfortable. Here is a translation of this forum post, please read it for full context.

It's important to keep in mind what you actually just read in that forum post, and what the actual accusations were against him. It's also important to understand the misinformation that spread from it.

After the forum post popped up, pretty much all the major and trusted translators in the fandom who had heard about it decided to wait and see how things were going to play out a bit before translating anything, since at that time there was still a lot of uncertainty and confusion as to what was going on. Because of this, the first translation and news of this that hit the international fandom was from a minor (iirc she was somewhere between 14-16 years old) and it was majorly mistranslated.

The mistranslation, from my understanding, (I don't think I ever read it personally. I was in classes when this all came out and in the few hours before I caught wind of what was going on, people had already started to criticize the translation and spread better ones.) claimed that Mingyu had sexually harassed the poster, as opposed to making sexual jokes in her vicinity, and in turn some people interpreted that to mean that he had sexually assaulted her. The mistranslation was apparently so bad that people later questioned if the translator had intentionally mistranslated it, but I don't think it makes much of a difference whether it was intentional or not. In any case the girl got bullied off of Twitter later as far as I know.

As a side note, there may be an argument to be made that Mingyu's jokes could still count as sexual harassment even if they weren't directed toward or about OP1. However, when I say it was mistranslated as sexual harassment, I mean that people thought he was making sexual jokes about her/at her expense, when that wasn't what was claimed in the original post.

Even though, as I said, more accurate translations started being published in the hours after the initial mistranslation, word had already gotten out that Mingyu was accused of sexual harassment and/or assault and the news spread like wildfire even outside the fandom. In addition to the translation, there was also confusion because OP1's forum post about Mingyu was actually a follow up to another post they had made about their general experience being bullied (and iirc being sexually harassed) in middle school and the depression and anxiety they suffered because of it. iirc most of this actually happened at a different middle school, OP1 transferred to Mingyu's school because of the situations at their previous school, but I may be misremembering that. In any case that post had nothing to do with Mingyu, but people were using autotranslators to understand what was going on and ended up misinterpreting that post as also being about Mingyu.

In the following days, another post was made by a separate person (OP2), also claiming to be Mingyu's former classmate. In this post, they claim that Mingyu bullied and threw trash at a disabled classmate (some translations I had seen specifically said the classmate was autistic, others just said disabled. I'm sticking with disabled since I'm not sure and it's more general). It's worth noting that at this point, people were trusting that OP1 was actually Mingyu's classmate, since she had posted proofs that they attended the same school. On the other hand, people were more questioning of OP2's identity and there was speculation that the screenshots of messages they had used as proof were fake.

I want you to keep in mind this image of Mingyu that's currently in people's mind: that he's been accused of sexual harassment and/or assault and being an ableist bully. You may get why I'm asking you to keep this image in your mind already, but I'll come back to this later.

So it's been days since the original post (I think it might have been a week almost? I honestly don't remember clearly, it might have only been two or three days), in this time Pledis and the Seventeen members have all been radio silent. Pledis finally makes their first official statement. The highlights are that they're taking the original issue seriously and are in the process of investigating it. They are able to clear up the post from OP2 (bullying a disabled student). Both the disabled student in question and his mother were able to verify that Mingyu was not one of his bullies. So that's one accusation cleared off the list. Mingyu himself decides to suspend activities while the company continues to investigate. Here is Pledis's first statement, please read for full context.

There were some other posts that popped up either before or after Pledis's first statement. One was from someone (OP3) who claimed to know OP1 and claimed that she couldn't be trusted. It seems that person's goal was more to attack OP1 than to defend Mingyu (iirc they claimed to be a BTS akgae, though that's not super relevant). OP1 responded and it quickly turned into personal beef between them and OP3 that strayed away from anything to do with Mingyu. There were also some posts that were obviously fake and just posted for clout or to jump on the bandwagon of adding to his bad reputation. And by obviously fake I mean there was really just no details or evidence, and they were dismissed immediately by pretty much everyone. I mention these things to just paint a picture of how chaotic things were and how hard it was to keep track of everything.

There was one more relevant accusation, that Mingyu was a bystander when someone else was assaulted. This was the subject of Pledis's second statement. The person who posted it (OP4) originally made it sound like it was something they had just heard about, but it was later revealed that they were the victim of the assault. Mingyu did not recall the incident at all. Pledis also contacted the perpetrators and bystanders (including one of the victim's friends) who OP4 recalled being at the incident, and none of them recalled the incident as it was described by OP4. OP4 decided to drop the issue since no one was able to corroborate their story. Here is Pledis's second statement, please read for full context.

At this point I'd like to pause and take a look at the timeline. Pledis made their first statement on February 28, 2021, which as I recall was several days to a week after the initial post. The second statement was posted on March 21, 2021, a little less than a month later. During this time period, we didn't hear anything from Seventeen at all. Going Seventeen was also postponed until after the situation was fully resolved. And the situation wouldn't be considered fully resolved until Pledis's third and final statement on April 6, 2021 (exactly a year ago, as I'm writing this).

I'll get to the third statement in a minute, but the reason I bring up this timeline is twofold. One, it demonstrates that Pledis really seemed to put the time and effort into thoroughly investigating the situation. Kcarats who walked by the Pledis building noted that lights were on late into the night, especially in the first several days. This is also something you can see in the way they've written their statements. Them postponing Seventeen's content and promotions at the time shows a level of respect and seriousness toward the issue. People, especially Carats, like to talk a lot of shit about Pledis, but the way they handled this situation was received well by pretty much everybody still following the situation. Especially because, to my understanding, there were similar controversies with idols under other companies at the same time, which were handled much more poorly (either siding with the artist blindly or punishing them with no investigation).

The second reason I bring it up is because a month is a LONG time in the internet world. Remember how at the beginning of all of this there was a mistranslation that spread like wildfire outside of the fandom? And how I told you to keep in mind that before Pledis's first statement, the general impression was that Mingyu had committed sexual harassment/assault and was an ableist bully? For a lot of non-Carats and casual fans, that's still the impression they have. Because honestly, who's going to keep up with a month long investigation about an idol you don't even stan? Plus people feed off sensational news, which an idol being exposed as a sexual assaulter an an ableist definitely is, moreso than news that he's innocent of those things.

So anyway, on April 6, 2021 (Mingyu's birthday, coincidentally enough), Pledis posted their third and final statement, which addressed the initial post by OP1. Mingyu admitted that he laughed along and made jokes with the boys in school without thinking much of it. He apologized to OP1, and both he and OP1 mutually agreed that they didn't wish to cause further harm to the other party due to this issue, and was thus considered to be closed. The statement specifically says that OP1 didn't want Mingyu to "bear undue responsibility" which is likely referring to the fact that after the initial post, many knetz and even Carats were calling for Mingyu to be kicked out of Seventeen. Read Pledis's third statement here for full context.

So when I said at the beginning that Mingyu was cleared of all charges, there is a small caveat to that, which is that he admitted to making and laughing along with jokes that made OP1 uncomfortable (though he did so without without thinking and not with the intent to make OP1 uncomfortable). But to summarize the claims and conclusions against Mingyu:

Made and laughed along to sexual jokes that made OP1 uncomfortable: TRUE, though done without malicious intent, Mingyu acknowledged and apologized for the harm caused. OP1 wishes that the issue be considered resolved and Mingyu bear no undue responsibility for it.

Sexually harassed/assaulted someone: FALSE, this was not a true claim ever made against Mingyu, it was the result of a mistranslation that spread early in the confusion of the situation.

Bullied and threw trash at a disabled classmate: FALSE, both the disabled classmate and his mother confirmed that Mingyu never bullied him.

Was a bystander as another student was assaulted: FALSE, the story was unable to be corroborated by a multitude of witnesses, and the accuser dropped the claim.

At the end of the day, I think anyone is allowed to feel uncomfortable with Mingyu for the jokes he made in middle school. Ultimately it's up to the individual if they feel like they trust that Mingyu has changed his behavior since middle school. Though I will say that many Carats, including myself, feel that there's plenty of evidence that Mingyu has emotionally matured since then and has genuinely learned from his mistake, and that he has also learned to be more conscious of the impact of his words. I also think it's important for people to not conflate what he actually did with the accusations which were proven false.

As far as the misinformation and the misconceptions about what happened go... to be honest I can't blame non-Carats and casual fans for not keeping up with the whole thing. But it's also frustrating how just, utterly wrong the perception of Mingyu is outside of the fandom, which is why you see Carats get so defensive. Of course when the statements came out we tried to spread them as far and wide as we could, but after a month people had just lost interest and it's impossible to reach everyone. And of course there are some who believe what they want to believe or think it's in their own best interests for people to think of Mingyu as a sexual assaulter or an ableist. And after a certain point, Carats became more and more hesitant to continue talking about the situation since it seemed better to just ignore it and focus on more positive things than continuing to dig up an issue that was resolved.

I only wish that those people who didn't keep up with the situation would stop talking about it. They should recognize that by not being informed, they can't really claim to be an authority on what happened or what kind of person Mingyu is. That's my own personal philosophy for situations like this at least. There are idols and groups I've heard things about that make me uncomfortable, sometimes to the extent that I avoid listening to any of their music or even silently judge their fans for continuing to stan them. But I never say anything about it online because I know I've only heard things from word of mouth and not everything may be as it seems. If I felt like I needed to say something about it I'd do my research first.

In my ideal world, that's how everyone would act, but I know it's not realistic. And it's not to say I don't think idols shouldn't be called out when they do something problematic, it's just that I think those call outs should be informed as much as possible. No one gains anything by false accusations or misinformation. Not only does it hurt the accused, it also makes it harder for legitimate accusations to be taken seriously. Again, I can't blame people for not keeping up with the situation and viewing Mingyu poorly, but I wish they wouldn't speak as an authority on the issue.

Mingyu Painting/Collage

I'm going to be honest with you, I hadn't heard of this controversy until it got brought back up again with the recent voting/politics issue (which I talk about in the next section), even though to my understanding it was first discussed in 2021. The "painting" referred to is actually a pair of collages:

The rightmost collage is what was controversial, people take it out of context by separating it from the other collage, despite them being part of the same piece. Mingyu has never said anything about these collages or what they're supposed to be about or how they're supposed to be interpreted, so the issue comes down to interpretation. iirc the person who actually posted this picture was the person who framed them, not Mingyu himself.

From what I've seen, people who see this piece as problematic think that the imagery in the right collage is disturbing and violent and indicative that Mingyu is sexualizing or at least promoting violence toward women and/or is indicative that he's just generally unhinged. Again, people on this side of the argument usually don't address the left collage or talk about the meaning of the set as a whole, and sometimes go as far to crop the left collage out of the image.

The main interpretation of the piece from the other side of the argument is that it's a critique of the modeling industry, with the left collage showing the "pretty" side of it the industry wants you to see, and the right side being the dark side of it behind the scenes. A lot of the images used in the collage are from fashion magazines, and the logos/names of designer brands such as Prada and Chanel show up in both collages. Mingyu himself has experience in the modelling industry, so it's not a subject matter that's completely out of left field for him.

I will admit that I don't fully understand this particular issue. After it had come up again recently I looked up the image and stared at it for a while before I had read any real arguments from either side and to be honest I could not figure out for the life of me what the controversy could be. And after that I went to see what people's actual opinions are and I swear I read like 200 tweets criticizing the piece and they had little more depth to them aside from just labeling the imagery disturbing. If anyone else reading this has a better understanding of the criticism than what I managed to gather, let me know.

For complete transparency, this is the topic I sympathize with the critiquers the least. While the interpretation of it being a critique of the modelling industry makes a lot of sense to me personally, I can admit that we don't know if that's the actual intention for sure, and there are room for other interpretations. I can also understand that the imagery is uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I think it's disingenuous to both ignore half of a piece and to claim that an artist is promoting a subject matter simply because they portray it.

Mingyu Voting

So what happened with this is about ~2 days before the recent South Korean presidential election, Mingyu posted this post on Instagram (in case the link doesn't work, the first pic is a drawing Mingyu did of some glasses, second pic is a set of selfies of him wearing a red sweatshirt and some photos of the sky. the caption is a red heart emoji).

Either on election day or the day after (so about 3-4 days after posting) people starting talking about the post speculating that it was meant as support for the extreme conservative candidate (who ended up winning the election). The reasoning for this speculation is that red is the color associated with the candidate/party and to my understanding, as part of the campaign, supporters had also been using red heart emojis in their posts.

On the other hand, Mingyu and other SVT members often match colored heart and other emojis to the clothes/color scheme of their Instagram posts. Compared to his other Instagram posts, it doesn't stand out. As I think you were saying, other idols also happened to wear red leading up to the election too, and some of the people accusing Mingyu were perpetuating a double standard. While it's generally agreed that it was a poorly timed post, several knetz have said it's a reach to claim he's was blatantly supporting the now current president with that post.

It's hard as international fans to judge whether it was blatant or not, since most of us don't speak Korean and didn't follow the election. But a part of me does think if it had no ambiguity that, for one, Pledis wouldn't have let him post it if they saw, since it's in their best interest for idols to be free of political affiliations, and for two, it would have been talked about more when he posted it, as opposed to several days later. But that's just my own thought process.

He ended up deleting the post not long after it generated a buzz. That's why I linked to my tumblr post instead of the original Instagram post. To me that says that one way or another, he doesn't actually want to be perceived as publicly showing support for the current president.

At the end of the day there's no definitive proof of who Mingyu voted for, or if he even voted at all. It's worth remembering that the vast majority of idols don't comment on politics in any way, because that's part of how they keep their clean, idol image. It's a Schrödinger's cat situation to me. Any idol that doesn't comment on politics could have any kind of political views and you'd never know. But people will tend to project their own views on their idol, because that's just human nature.

I disagree with people who claim with certainty that Mingyu supports the current president, because it's a fact that we don't know who he supports or what his political views are. On the other hand, I wholeheartedly sympathize with people who are uncomfortable precisely because they don't know what Mingyu's political views are. But I would also challenge those people to consider that they probably don't know any or at least many of their idol's political views. There is absolutely a risk that is taken in supporting people who's political views you don't fully know and that risk is something that needs to be considered.

(On a personal level, that's part of the reason why I probably won't stan another group besides SVT. I've decided to take that risk with them, but I'm hesitant to take that risk with the probably hundreds of idols I listen to casually. The bigger the pool, the more chances you have to be let down sort of thing. But that's just another thing people need to assess and decide for themselves.)

Mingyu Misogyny

This is just a short section to say that, as far as I'm aware, the only evidence that people use to claim Mingyu is a misogynist are the three situations above, which you can make your own judgements on from my explanations. Until the bullying situation, I don't remember seeing anyone call him that or even implying it.

As you said in your ask, he got dogpiled. I can't claim to know whether or not the collage or the voting thing would have been issues if it weren't for the bullying accusations last year, but I definitely don't think he would have gotten quite as much criticism if it weren't for that controversy being as big as it was.

Curry Song

(I won't go through a whole detail of what happened for this one, since it sounds like you're already familiar with it, but I'm just going to talk about some random points.) The curry song incident is actually one of the things I was referring to when I said I wish it had been handled better and I still wish for an apology. Though as you said, it's definitely very unlikely that they ever will at this point.

At the time, the majority opinion from South Asian Carats was that it would be fine if the scene was just cut out of the episode and then reuploaded. South Asian fanbases weren't even calling for an apology, just for the scene to be cut. Which the Going Seventeen staff has done before over way smaller things. It just seems ridiculous that they couldn't do that much.

The only "good" (I don't even know if I want to go that far) part of the whole situation is how many Carats were united along with South Asian Carats for calling out Seventeen and asking for the scene to get cut. It's honestly something I never would have expected to see from a kpop fandom given how much kpop stans usually love to bend over backward to defend their idols. And I found out from the incident that there are apparently a lot of idols who have sang the song before, since it's popular in Korea. But Carats actually managed to make enough fuss about it that it got on national news and Norazo, the original artist, actually did apologize for the song (though whether their apology was good enough is another thing).

But like on the other hand there were plenty of Carats who didn't see the big deal about it or were actively being racist toward South Asians, and it obviously still doesn't erase the hurt that happened or the fact that it was never accounted for by Seventeen. So I'm not saying Carats should be patting ourselves on the back too much. More just that it was definitely a surprising reaction from a kpop fandom.

It's one of those situations where I can fully sympathize with any Carats who decided to unstan because of it, especially South Asian Carats. As you said, it's just a situation where we have to hope that they won't do it again. For me personally, I have enough trust that they learned from their mistakes that it wasn't a deal breaker for me stanning. But I also fully recognize that as a white person its a lot lot easier for me to just go "Hey, that was bad, let's hope they don't do it again!" than it is for a South Asian person. Again, it's just one of those situations where people have to decide where the line is themselves, and I fully sympathize with people for whom it was over the line.

#melia.ask #anon #if anyone else is thinking about sending me an ask about this post please check if i already answered or talked about it in this post #this took me like 7-8 hours to write over the course of 3 or 4 sittings so i'd appreciate not having to repeat myself 😅#(anon that's not to make you feel guilty! i wouldn't have answered the ask or spent so much time on it if i didn't want to!)#but i just generally like to preemptively try to set some boundaries for these sorts of things

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golbrocklovely · 2 years ago

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It’s so weird to me how you all talk about Colby as if you guys personally know him. Talking about how he doesn’t allow himself to open up, talking about his hook ups and how he act and blah blah. It’s so weird because? All we see of him is what he shows on the internet. There is no way for any of you to actually know if he’s ready to open up to someone yet or not. There’s no way for any of you to know that he leads girls on. I think what’s happening here is, that the boys show way to much of themselves and now everyone thinks they know them. Lol it’s cringey and borderline obsessive. I don’t think any of you would like it if strangers on the internet would talk about you like that. The ways some anons and even you write that stuff, it’s like? Do you all know them personally?

this is an old ask, jsyk.

i went back and forth trying to think whether or not i should answer this ask. but against my better judgement i'm gonna answer this lol

so this was a response to an old conversation i was having back before my 13 nights, and i'm not gonna rehash it all bc it's really not that important. just know we were talking about colby's love life.

okay, so, to get to your ask finally.

i can't speak for all the anons that come on here, and i'm not gonna. but i can speak for myself. and there has not been a SINGLE time i've ever said anything on here and then followed it up with "everything i said is factual and based on the truth". this whole entire blog and pretty much every ask i answer are OPINIONS. and opinions can be wrong, or far from hitting the mark. or not based on facts, especially when we're talking about something that is not important, like who colby dates.

i've also never claimed to know snc or colby. and when you said "All we see of him is what he shows on the internet." …what do you think i base my opinions off of? sure, they're definitely based off of my feelings, but my feelings and thoughts change bc of what snc shows us. and sometimes they show a lot, sometimes they don't. sometimes they only show a part of a situation and bc of that, my opinions on the situation could be 1000% wrong bc i don't have the full story. i never claimed to know all the answers or to be right every time i speak about something. i'm just… stating my opinion. like everyone does.

as for the leading girls on, i don't know how true any of that is. anything that has ever been said about that is alleged at best. but as for him not being able to open up….. do i need to pull up the countless tweets (both deleted and not) that show him almost verbatim saying "i'm not emotionally available/i wish i could open up to ppl/i want to get close to ppl but i can't"? i'm not gonna do that, but just know i'm not bs-ing that when i say colby has said it himself. if anything i'm just reiterating what he's said before.

i will agree with you on one thing, i do think snc post a lot about their lives and ppl assume things and think they know them. but to add to that, they are public figures. it's almost their jobs to do that. i'm not saying it's right, i'm just stating the obvious.

and also, the only difference with my blog and someone else's is that i have public conversations about them. god knows my conversations are far tamer than those happening in dms or gcs, the difference is i make my genuine opinion public. but just bc i do that, doesn't mean you have to agree with me. you can totally think i'm wrong, there's nothing wrong about that. i don't think i'm right all of the time, and i don't claim to be either.

might i raise some food for thought tho: how come anons will pull out the "you don't even know him" card anytime i say something unfavorable towards snc/colby that you don't agree with, but yall don't say the same thing when you agree with me. bc that statement is still true, it's just now you agree with what i'm saying.

idk…. just something to think about.

#ask #personal #cb ll

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bamboozledchaos · 3 years ago

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hi bamboo, i was wondering if i could maybe ask what's going on with luvajax? from what i saw people were bullying them and it looked really bad but i don't really understand why. you seemed like you were involved in it also (since you reblogged their post) so i thought maybe you would be able to tell me? sorry if this is bothersome :')

Thank you for asking, and I shall try to explain both sides. Everything is ‘alleged’ until every single one of them gives their explanations and apologies. @ohmykazuha for the love of Xiao, answer to this. @wispycecilia as well. Our mutual status depends on your response. EDIT: these two mooties seem to have misunderstood and had apologised, so it’s not up to me at this point.

I do not condone hate sent to anyone, and I beg of all of you to be cordial and check every first-hand information before solidifying an opinion. I will also be using gender-neutral pronouns for everyone because I am unsure. Press the read more if you are okay with learning about the discourse.

Basically, an anonymous friend of @test-tube had claimed that they suspect @/luvajax of copying their theme, dni and the sort. It is understandable that the feeling of being ‘allegedly’ copied feels wronged.

@/luvajax had responded, and the reply is also publicised on their blog. They had immediately changed their theme and dni, although ‘allegedly’ not have had copied the anonymous friend of @/test-tube.

There are mixed thoughts on their reply. From @/luvajax, it was cordial and nice. From @/test-tube, it was hostile. I shall not be biased here for the sake of reporting the ‘alleged’ facts.

The discourse started when their friends responded in ways that appear to most as cyberbullying. According to @/test-tube, it had came from a state of platonic defense and returned ‘hostility’.

Five people, two of whom I am/was moots with, had been ‘allegedly’ cyberbullying @luvajax. No matter what they had intended, it is still cyberbullying and unwarranted. Please check @/luvajax’s posts for direct first-hand information.

Again, no matter their actual history, the hate that was sent to @/luvajax was too much for them, reasonably so. Numerous hate anons had bombarded and unfollowed their account and I quote, ‘ruined their account’. It does not appear to be a lie, but again, judge for yourself as long as you don’t send hate.

@/luvajax then posted multiple posts regarding the ‘alleged’ cyberbullying, after being damaged emotionally. People started to return their graces unto their side, perhaps even those who had sided with the five beforehand for the copying-themes ‘allegations’.

@/test-tube responded by releasing one statement and another (intended) apology. According to my conversations and their posts, both sides are at fault. Though, the apology does not seem to be working, as @/luvajax was still hurt and angered. According to @/luvajax, they still want an apology for the emotional damage and hate they had received for the ‘alleged’ plagiarism of themes and dni criterias.

These are what I know, and let me reiterate three things.

One, do not send hate to anyone involved. The cyberbullying from hate anons to @luvajax started from that. We do not want a repeat of that because no one should be hurt in their safeplaces.

Two, seek out both sides for the first-hand and second-hand informations before making the final judgements. I appreciate you reading my third-hand information, but to retain accuracy, read from the sources directly with my summary.

Three, do not send threats. It has been enough hate and downbeat energy in the recent Genshinblr community. The third point is similar to the first point, but oh well.

That is all. Thank you.

#bamboo-zled #tw ‘drama’#‘drama’#tw hurt feelings #tw discourse

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freddiekluger · 4 years ago

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please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god.

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said” and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him.

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”.

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”- the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”.

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him / I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence.

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

#thank you if you made it this far!#also the inherent rhythm in swedish as a language just makes all of the songs sound better i'm gonna say it #english is really hit and miss when it comes to music and can get especially clunky with musicals requiring exposition #also sorry there's so much i've left out !#anyways enjoy #jesus christ superstar #jesus christ superstar swedish arena tour 2014 #jcs #peter johansson #ola salo #also i have barely edited this so i hope it's coherent

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lesbianalanwake · 5 years ago

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Here’s my “Avatar Martin to Entity Jon” bullet point essay since this meme got notes.

I wouldn’t call this a “theory” so much as “the sickest, coolest, sexiest kind of unpredictable but very much grounded in the narrative ending that I can think of.” I do not think it’s going to happen, I simply think it rocks.

To reiterate: even though this is written like a very loose academic essay with references and motifs and everything, I am not expecting any of this.

Entity Jon:

Jane says this in reference to the Archivist: “I see now why the Hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note its every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.” Which is something that’s lived in my brain since I first heard it, and which is what led me to correctly assume that Jon, much like Gertrude, would eventually evolve into a threat to the fears -- to their avatars and manifestations and possibly even to the entities themselves.

Suffice to say, there is something a little odd about the Archivist to begin with, and then there’s Jon, who has been marked by all known manifestations of fear, who knows their ins and outs more and more intimately with every episode, who is a record of fear, who literally eats fear to survive. I’ve said it before: Jon is fear.

Jon also has a lot of motifs and imagery surrounding him that deal with apotheosis and transformation and immortality, some of them as seen in this post, including rejecting death twice. (Literally, in the case of awakening from his coma, and symbolically, in the case of descending into a coffin for three days and emerging.) If this was Biblical, I’d say a third time is just around the corner.

Jon is also the king of a ruined world, not Jonah, and the second part of that “I AM” statement (see this: https://www.gotquestions.org/seven-I-AM-statements.html) claims “and I shall never die.” Like I said, if this was Biblical...

Themes of replacement and transformation run throughout the series, featured in things like the Not Them, the Distortion (how much of it is Michael? is Helen? is the Spiral?) (and the Distortion also serves a mirror for Jon), the concept of avatars in general, etc. Imagine my surprise and delight when I was introduced to a possible fear that deals with macrocosmic change and replacement, in the form of the Extinction.

My immediate guess after Season 4 was that only the entities’ fear of extinction would be relevant to the story, and that idea was directly referenced in Season 5: that they fear their own end, and that their end is inevitable. I genuinely didn’t think a human version of that fear would show up, and it doesn’t really throw a wrench into anything for me, because it was irrelevant to me as a human thing anyway. But now it’s more confusing whenever I talk about this, LOL. (But actually, making it “real” brings its themes to the forefront, and that episode did directly or obliquely reference almost everything else I’ve been interested in theorizing about: the idea that the entities aren’t as distinct and clear-cut as people think, the idea of gods and divinity, the idea of existence beyond one world.)

Regardless, my main spicy thought has been Jon as the entities’ extinction and replacement, whatever form that takes. That there is not a more pyrrhic victory and horror ending (a genre rife with final girls, those who survive only to discover that they are still haunted by said horror, those who give in and transform and join the horror, etc.) than Jon becoming an entity himself, in order to destroy or seal the others away.

I’ve said this before, and I’m going to say it again because I simply LOVE it: Jon eats fear, and god-eating is a concept as old as civilization. (See the TV Tropes page about it: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodEating)

Avatar Martin:

Martin is first targeted by the Corruption, in what is also the first statement we get from a main character other than Jon. The Corruption is, interestingly, associated with love and belonging, such as with Jane’s iconic line: “I can be fully consumed by what loves me.” Martin is, of course, the Love Interest, and is a character who yearns for belonging, which leads him to be well-suited for the Lonely later.

The Lonely is the entity that Martin is most strongly associated with, aside from the Beholding. The Lonely also has a “love beats fear” theme.

The entities being framed by an avatar’s love for them is a theme that comes up from time to time, from Jane to Jude to Mike to Manuela and others, who all show different types of reverence and affection and love for their patrons. Martin asks this of Simon -- “Did you just look up at the sky one day and fall head-over-heels in love?” -- because that’s how he thinks.

Martin has toed the line of becoming an avatar without committing, which creates an anticipation of wondering if/when he ever will, which is why it’s so fun to speculate about “[insert entity here] Martin.” But becoming an avatar is always about choice on some level (even if the degree varies), and as we see in the bullet point above, it’s also sometimes about devotion and love.

Who is Martin devoted to? Who has Martin always chosen?

Edit: Almost forgot that one interview where Jonny and Alex talk about how Martin interacting differently with fear was in his character concept from the beginning, and how the Lonely was later used to explore that. The Lonely, of which Martin toed the line for the sake of love, unlike other main characters who have wrestled with avatar-dom. Really puts it into perspective, that the prominent fears with which Martin is associated are the Corruption (love), the Lonely (love), and the Eye (synonymous with Jon).

There is ABSOLUTELY a set-up across the series whose payoff will either be crushingly painful or euphorically painful, and it’s that Martin is never there for Jon across Jon’s worst experiences, even though he wants to be. The worms, being framed for murder, the Unknowing, the apocalypse ritual, etc. Something always keeps them apart. So either the series ends with that same scenario playing out again, thus killing me instantly, or it’s a “four times x happened and one time it didn’t” kind of thing. And the latter is how I would write it.

So it follows that if Martin is there for Jon while Jon’s becoming an entity, well...

If you have the idea of love overcoming fear, and love being intertwined with fear, and if you have the idea of Jon as an entity, and Martin as his love interest, then Martin being the avatar to Jon’s entity is a natural conclusion. Not love as magically saving the day and making everything right, but love as the hope at the bottom of Pandora’s Box. Maybe Jon is something else now, and maybe Martin’s finally crossed over that line into being an avatar, but neither of them are alone in that.

So, to put it another way:

#the magnus archives #jonmartin #god could you imagine tho #f: the magnus archives #r: i need him to be okay #*posts

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greatqueenanna · 5 years ago

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Why Kristoff is a great partner and character.

There are many great male characters in the Disney canon. The Valiant, Pungent, Reindeer King Kristoff Bjogrman, stands among them as one of the best. Kristoff has something special about him that I feel goes unnoticed by many people, simply because Kristoff is a tri-tagonist in the Frozen Franchise. However, I’m here to tell you that there are things about Kristoff that truly make him shine regardless of his smaller role in the overall story. The franchise was never focused on romantic love, but within Kristoff we see a character that exemplifies what a good romantic partner should be like.

Another long one guys, so under the read more we go!

I’ve seen a few posts try and say that Kristoff’s relationship with Anna is unhealthy. However, I want to offer some viewpoints on why I feel this in not the case. According to the Hall Health Center, A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:

Mutual Respect/Honesty

Playfulness/Fondness

Trust/Support

Separate Identities

Good Communication

Kristoff is able to show all of this to Anna; while not all at once and at the very moment they meet, he does develop these skills and qualities as his and Anna’s relationship flourishes. It is also stated that all of these things take work, and is not something that just happens immediately, and that is ok. Most of these qualities Kristoff is able to show when we first meet him as adult, while others he develops over time with trial and error. As with Anna and Elsa, Kristoff is not perfect, and needed to learn certain lessons to become a better version of himself.

Mutual Respect/Honesty

It is no secret that Kristoff respects Anna’s boundaries and decisions. While he may not agree with some of them, and is vocal about it, he still doesn’t try to force his views or needs. It is always good to be honest with someone, but to not force their hand or treat them like a child. For example -

During Frozen, Kristoff is very vocal about Anna’s decision to marry Hans. He tells her that, honestly, it is a reckless decision. However, he never tries to force her to break up with or change her mind. He just very clearly states his opinion, but never steps over that boundary to try and make decisions for her. This behavior is shown throughout the film, as Kristoff is able to be honest with her on her decisions, but never tries to stop her or force her hand. The only time he directly tries to stop her, is when Anna is getting ready to throw a snowball at Marshmallow, because it directly affects her safety.

Also during Frozen, Kristoff respects Anna’s boundaries by asking Anna for her consent before kissing. He doesn’t force her into a surprise kiss, he asks her first if they could. This shows how Kristoff respects her bodily autonomy, and recognizes her possible trauma from Hans.

In Frozen 2, Kristoff again shows how he respects her decisions.

“You had to go, and of course its always fine.”

In Lost in the Woods, while Kristoff is having a harder time in this film being honest about his feelings (at first) Kristoff reiterates that he always respects Anna’s choices, never trying to force her to think one way or guilt her.

Playfulness/Fondness

Kristoff adores Anna. That, is obvious. He’s playful with her all throughout Frozen, teasing her without out right insulting her. We also know exactly how he feels about Anna as he expresses his love for her in Frozen 2. He finds Anna -

“Incredible”

“Feisty”

“Brave”

He also mentions how she’s his ‘ginger sweetheart’, suggesting that he likes her hair color (in other words, he finds her beautiful).

Also in Frozen 2, we can clearly see that Kristoff and Anna have a loving, physical relationship. This is a bit of a wacky point to mention considering that this is a children’s film, but the implications are there so I will talk about it. Anna and Kristoff kiss multiple times with both parties being comfortable, and Anna is ready to have a make out session when Elsa and Olaf fall asleep in the sled. This shows how the two of them have enough fondness of one another to be able to be physical.

Trust/Support

This is a big one, and one of Kristoff’s best qualities. Not only does he support her, as mentioned in the respect section, he shows how he is able to trust her decisions, openly asking her what she needs to do when he rescues her from the rock giants.

“I’m here, what do you need?”

“To get the the dam.”

“You got it!”

Kristoff doesn’t ask her why, he just trusts her judgment. This is clear development from the first film, when he didn’t trust her judgment based on her choice to marry Hans. Then, he gladly helps her up the cliff without a fuss or undermining her strength.

“Help me up.”

“We’ll meet you on the other side.”

His trust for her also grows when he is finally able to come to terms with how he feels. In fact, the scene above demonstrates how when Kristoff finally reflects on his emotions, he is able to be more confident with their relationship and have more trust that Anna knows what she’s doing.

Kristoff also spends both films and short films giving Anna support. In Frozen, while he at first only cares about Anna’s promise to give him a new sled, he starts to show genuine concern for her. He offers to help her down when she (barely) climbs the mountain, runs to her side when she collapses from Elsa’s blast, and tries to keep her warm when carrying her down to Arendelle. Even in Frozen 2, when he’s unsure about the status of their relationship, he still comes to her aide and helps her during the fire attack, and of course comes rushing to help her with the rock giants. In Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, he sees Anna down and wants to cheer her up, and helps Elsa in Frozen Fever throw a party for her, using every inch of his strength to make sure it doesn't get ruined.

Separate Identities

Kristoff is not dependent on Anna. While he loves her and wants to be there for her, he has a separate identity and is able to support himself. He has a life outside of Anna, including his friendship with Sven, his troll family, and his ice business. He is able to leave Anna’s side, for example in Frozen Fever to drop off the Snowgies, and in Forest of Shadows he leaves to talk to the Trolls.

His self esteem is also not dependent on Anna. He openly wears what he wants, proclaiming that he only dress nice for Anna for as long as he’s comfortable, does strange things like talking to Sven, licking a strange sculpture in Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, compliments his stew in the same film even though Elsa and Anna are visibly disgusted, and never takes Anna’s insults in Frozen to heart.

“Nobody wants to be alone. Except maybe you.”

“(Laughs) I’m not alone.”

He states the last comment without any indication that he is being defensive or is offended by the statement. In fact, it doesn't faze him at all. His worries in Frozen 2 about Anna’s feelings are not about his self-esteem, but rather losing her as a partner. Let me better explain this. Kristoff mentality is not this -

“Anna is the only one who will consider me and if I lose her, I will have no one else. I am nothing without her. ”

It is this -

“Anna has become an important part of my life because of how amazing she is, and I don’t want to lose her.”

Yes, he does claim in Lost in the Woods how -

“Who am I, if I’m not your guy?

Where am I, if we’re not together forever?”

But I firmly believe that this has to do with him letting his fear take over, not so much how he actually feels, which I’ll explain more in a bit. Thus, Kristoff is not scared of losing his relationship with Anna because she makes him feel good about himself, he’s afraid of losing her because he genuinely loves having her around in his life. He loves her as a separate person, not as a crutch.

Good Communication

This is the tricky one, because Kristoff has to develop this skill from trial and error. He doesn't have it already set, however it mostly affects his romantic life. He can pretty much say whatever he wants and what is on his mind to everyone else, and even to Anna before he realizes he loves her.

However, we clearly see that in Frozen 2, Kristoff is having a hard time expressing his desires to Anna. He wants to marry her, he wants to start a family. But what if Anna doesn’t want that? What if they are actually growing apart?

I care about her, but does she care about me?

Because of this fear, he is over explaining and fumbling over his words. Even so much as letting it affect his self-esteem, which he didn’t have a problem with before. As I mentioned many times in other posts, fear is a reoccurring villain in the Frozen Franchise, and it has reared its ugly face in Kristoff’s development as well.

His fear is making him hesitant, clumsy and question his self worth. Even though this really has nothing to do with any sort of dependence on Anna, he is letting his fear make him believe that he needs her to a desperate degree. In fact, he showed in the beginning of the film that he was much more calm about their relationship and had no doubts. It wasn’t until Anna started to focus more on Elsa that he started to grow this irrational fear. It didn’t happen in full blast until he thought Anna left him permanently.

However, after expressing these negative feelings out loud, and not letting them bottle up inside, he was able to see the flaw in his thinking as evident later on. After assisting Anna, he explains that he understands how she felt, and that it didn’t have anything to do with him. As Anna was strong enough to push forward even after losing everything, Kristoff was strong enough to able to put his feelings of self-doubt aside and find the confidence he lost.

“I know, I know, it’s ok. My love is not fragile.”

In just a few words, Kristoff expresses how his love was stronger than his fear, realizing what he already knew: that he is good enough, that him and Anna were fine, and that he was over reacting based on a fragile fear. Then, of course, he is able to tell Anna how he feels without doubt, finally asking her to marry him.

Thus, we know that Kristoff follows the traits of what makes a healthy relationship to a tee. Even though he didn’t have every quality at first, he developed them over time. As every character is flawed in Frozen, and need to make the bad choices first in order to learn, Kristoff needed to experience the same thing to be the best version of himself that he was always capable of.

#greatqueenanna/analysis #Kristoff #Kristanna #Frozen #Frozen 2

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midnightactual · 4 years ago

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Critical Analysis & Tactics II (CAT-2): The Central 46 Trial Breakout

How strong is Yoruichi? That’s actually a very involved question. I’ve decided to create a series of articles detailing my thoughts on the matter by looking at military incidents and confrontations involving her. This is the second, and you may consult the others at your leisure:

CAT-1: The Hollowfication Incident

CAT-3: Yoruichi vs. Byakuya

CAT-4A & B: Yoruichi vs. Soifon

CAT-5: Yoruichi & Soifon vs. Aizen

CAT-6: Yoruichi vs. Yammy

CAT-7: Yoruichi, Kisuke, & Isshin vs. Aizen

CAT-8: Yoruichi & Co. vs. Yhwach

CAT-9: Yoruichi vs. Askin

Having established in CAT-1′s sections (05), (06), and (07) that Yoruichi was the primary backup assault force for the Seireitei’s expedition during the Hollowfication Incident, and thus must have had very strong offensive abilities compared to that force as a whole, her role in the Central 46 Trial breakout bears some scrutiny.

01. Let’s start out 110 years ago, 9 years before the Hollowfication Incident and at the time of Kisuke’s promotion, to gather some establishing information before we move onto discussing the aftermath of the Hollowfication Incident. What’s important to understand here is that Kisuke is still very much viewed as Yoruichi’s subordinate. He was promoted at her suggestion:

The narration casts him in a subordinate role to her as well:

Hiyori regarded him not just as an outsider, not just from a den of murderers and thieves, but also even more disparagingly as a clown, as a nobody from 2nd Division:

Shinji calls attention to the fact that he doesn’t know how to conduct himself as a leader yet:

(Also: consider Shinji’s advice here from Yoruichi’s perspective, given Kisuke is her underling, and her statement that there’s, “No need to thank me,” after she rescues him and Tessai. Also note that in this same conversation, Shinji will reveal his suspicions of Aizen.)

Jumping ahead 9 years to the night of the Hollowfication Incident, we see that it’s Yoruichi who gets Kisuke to calm down, reaffirming her role as his de facto superior in front of everyone else (note the use of his given name here):

And this point will be reiterated indirectly by Tessai by their shared connection to her. (Also take special notice here that Tessai is seemingly the first person to see through Kisuke on this night. The second will be Aizen when he declares that, “I see. You’re... the man I expected you to be.” And the third, which was actually the true first, will be discussed later.)

In other words, during this whole sequence, it can be readily understood that Kisuke is not viewed by the other high-ranking personnel as being his own man. He’s still seen as Yoruichi’s underling, because he still largely functions as exactly that. It’s inconceivable that if anything were to come of Kisuke’s behavior and actions, that anyone would believe that such activity originated with him. It is well understood that Yoruichi is “behind” him. This is important for understanding what happens later.

02. Not only is Yoruichi “in charge” of Kisuke, she already largely knew about what was going to happen that night. As I mentioned, it’s established that Shinji was suspicious of Aizen from the very start of his tenure, as he proves to us as readers by revealing that Aizen is listening in on his conversation with Kisuke 110 years ago. He reasserts this during the Hollowfication Incident by telling Aizen, “I knew it. It was you.” But Shinji had already shared his suspicions with Yoruichi, and we know this because she tells us as much after admonishing Kisuke with, “Why didn’t you call for me last night?”

Several points can be made here. First, Yoruichi is still giving Kisuke orders (“Get to work”), and note her no-bullshit expression in doing so. Second, Shinji had revealed his suspicions about the missing people in Rukongai and Aizen’s involvement to Yoruichi. (Earlier, before 9th Division had set off to investigate, we see Shinji and Aizen talking about these with Kisuke. Presumably, Shinji also told Yoruichi this before or after too.) Third, Yoruichi knew about Kisuke’s research into Hollowfication, which is established by her curiosity regarding what he was doing with setting up the SRDI and pulling prisoners from the Maggot’s Nest 9 years earlier, and knew that Kisuke would be drawn into and blamed for these events (“... I knew the worst had happened...”). Fourth, Yoruichi knew that Kisuke possessed and would try and use the Hōgyoku (“... And what your best solution would be”).

Kisuke, notably, is smiling when he says, “So you had it all figured out. You’re very sneaky,” even though most of his face is covered by a speech bubble. This is thus the third time he’s sussed out that night, although in truth it was the first. Maybe he’s chagrined, maybe he’s glad Yoruichi saw it all too. Regardless, Yoruichi knew almost everything. She didn’t know what exactly would happen or who would be caught in the crossfire, but she knew Kisuke would be blamed for it. And it was inevitable that she be suspected as being the one truly behind it.

(As an aside, this scene is also notable for demonstrating Yoruichi’s raw physical strength.)

03. This point is established in some interesting ways. The most notable is that it seems strongly implied that Yoruichi had Kisuke’s Hōgyoku for a time. After a post by @mysteriousshopkeeper about Kisuke’s footwear, @sphaeraa noted these panels where Kisuke is passed out, seeming to clutch at something, only to wake and realize there’s nothing in his hand. This is a highly unusual way to sleep:

It suggests he fell asleep holding the Hōgyoku. So where did it go? I would suggest to you that Yoruichi walked in and took it from him. Notably, Tessai seems to have been awake this whole time (somewhere behind Kisuke) so he presumably saw this happen. Possibly a bold claim. But note that the Hōgyoku was never found by anyone searching the SRDI’s premises. (There is also another reason I’ll get into later too.)

Indeed, they only found “traces” of Hollowfication experiments. It’s almost like somebody came in and cleaned up the scene while Kisuke was unconscious. Also, the guy who’s reporting to Central 46 here? He’s Onmitsukidō. Just like the guys who arrested Kisuke and Tessai to begin with:

Just like the guys guarding the Maggot’s Nest:

And just like the guys who report to Yoruichi:

Isn’t it convenient that they only showed up after Kisuke had woken up, the next morning? Almost like Yoruichi delayed the investigation until she could retrieve the Hōgyoku and clean the scene, using her power as the Supreme Commander of the Onmitsukidō.

04. It kind of goes without saying that Yoruichi disabled Central 46′s entire security force without issue or exertion, but that shouldn’t be a surprise at this point:

It is, however, surely notable that the Onmitsukidō guy who was there to testify was suddenly missing by the time Yoruichi showed up to rescue Kisuke and Tessai. Another interesting convenience.

05. I had mentioned there was another reason it seems apparent that the Hōgyoku was not at the SRDI. Consider all this from Aizen’s perspective. Aizen knew that Kisuke had a Hōgyoku. Aizen also had a Hōgyoku. Aizen had been trying to feed souls to his Hōgyoku to no avail, to include part of Rangiku’s soul, because Aizen assailing her was Gin’s motivation to join the Gotei 13 in the first place, and it’d been at least 10 years since then. Aizen was surely already starting to suspect that he would need Kisuke’s Hōgyoku to complete his own. Even if he wasn’t, it stands to reason that having a second one would only be to his benefit.

Aizen can conceal himself from ordinary Shinigami (think back on how he was eavesdropping on Kisuke and Shinji) and create alibis using illusions (consider Shunsui testifying that he saw him while the Hollowifcation Incident was happening). Why didn’t he just walk into the SRDI and take the Hōgyoku?

Because it wasn’t there anymore.

But there’s an even bigger picture to be looked at here. It is only to Aizen’s benefit that Kisuke indeed be depowered and Tessai locked away in Shugo, because then they can’t interfere with his plans. The idea that Aizen could foresee Kisuke’s involvement in exile down the line with, say, Ichigo, is absurd. (Note that Aizen treats Masaki and Isshin as an experiment—there was no advanced plan there. He can’t see the future.) Letting Kisuke escape and run around in the wild was only a loose end.

Even if Yoruichi had the Hōgyoku, she would be politically isolated after the trial of Kisuke and Tessai, because both of them were obviously tied to her. It would’ve looked like she had orchestrated the whole thing and they had acted on her orders. If irregularities regarding the Onmitsukidō’s investigation or the scene at the SRDI came to light, that would only look even worse for her. Admittedly, her status as a Clan Head of one of the Five Great Noble Clans gave her enormous protections (note the comparative slap on the wrist she received in absentia after directly assaulting Central 46′s compound) but everyone would have believed her to be behind it.

This makes it obvious why she acted: she had nothing to lose. She would be seen as the orchestrator of these events either way, so might as well save her friends and salvage what she could of the situation. (And possibly gain her freedom and independence as part of the bargain.) But it does not answer a different question: why did Aizen allow her to do that?

And the answer to that isn’t that he foresaw that having Yoruichi, Kisuke, and Tessai in exile might benefit him decades down the line (because it didn’t at all). It’s that he couldn’t stop her. If he could’ve stepped in and prevented her from making her way into Central 46, by all means he should’ve. He didn’t, either because he simply couldn’t, or he couldn’t do it while maintaining any degree of secrecy. (This strongly suggests she was also never exposed to Kyōka Suigetsu, which is explored further in CAT-7.) She was beyond his ability to counter, which in turn retroactively also adds credence to estimations of her capabilities in CAT-1.

The story of the aftermath of the Hollowfication Incident is essentially the story of Yoruichi outplaying Aizen when both Kisuke and Shinji had failed to do so (albeit admittedly with the latter’s information). In the leadup to it, she was also fully aware as to the shenanigans Kisuke was getting up to at the SRDI.

#Out Of Character #Long Post #Meta

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sylvie-writes · 4 years ago

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Are You Worthy?

Part 2 of Getting Ready

Disclaimer: Some of the events may be out of order or removed but it’s for the purpose of the story

Warnings: mentions of alcohol. any screw ups in spelling or grammar.

I just found out that I screwed up the timeline... but this is fanfcition... so just please ignore that huge plot hole that i’ve just created.

Loosely edited. I will fully check over it this week, my loves.

Sorry about the end. It’s midnight and i’m too tired to write a whole ass scene.

Enjoy!

The drive to the compound was a little over twenty minutes, the late night traffic of Brooklyn lightly flooding the roads. Sarah was in the back seat, strapped in her car seat joyously maundering about making new friends tonight. That child was a social butterfly, never really understanding the stranger-danger rule, one you and Steve often tried to implement into her impressionable mind. Steve looked into the rearview mirror, shooting the mini chatty cathy a large smile.

Arriving at the event, ponds of cars littered the street, valet attendants frantically rushing around to the lineup of many pretentious cars. Once a valet had taken your car, Steve stepped out, first helping you from the passenger seat and then unbuckling Sarah. All three Rogers casually strolled into the multi-level tower, its height unfathomable. Heading to the back elevators, which weren’t crowded, for you all knew the compound layout better than most of the guests. Sarah’s hands held your’s and Steve’s as she was sandwiched between the two of you, yet happily swinging her parents’ hands with her own.

Sam immediately greeted you, Steve and Sarah, quickly inviting you all over for a friendly game of pool with some older gentlemen. Of course, since Sarah was only three, she couldn't play pool and instead joyously watched as the billiard balls fell into the pockets, only piquing her interest as she wondered where the pockets led to. You and Steve decided to share one cue stick, each shooting while the other held Sarah, who babbled to the parent holding her at that time.

About halfway through the game, Steve had noticed you were shivering just a smidge. He swiftly laid the cue stick against the pool table as it wasn't his turn anyway. Taking off the leather jacket, Steve wrapped it around your shoulders, prompting you to turn your attention and body back towards the pool table and him.

“You scared me, Rogers.” You jocosely squinted at the man then handing Sarah over so you could properly wear the oversized leather jacket. The pleasant and familiar cologne wrapped around your body as if it were a warm and securing hug. By the time you had finished your mini conversation with Steve it was your turn to play pool, Sarah preciously becoming your cheerleader.

Steve had ventured off with Sam while you and Sarah had ended up with Tony, Thor and Maria, painfully listening to Rhodey’s recollection of his time as the War Machine.

“Well, you know the suit can take the weight. So I take the tank, fly it right up to the General’s Palace, drop it at his feet, and I’m like BOOM, you looking for this?”

Tony and Thor just looked at Rhodey with an unamused look while Sarah giggled at the story, not really understanding but laughing at the funny voice he had used. Reiterating himself, Rhodey repeated the story in hopes of getting a better reaction from his crowd.

“Boom. Are you looking- why do I even talk to you guys? Everywhere else that story kills.”

The disappointed man turns to face you, his hand up, expecting a high five. You just look at him before laughing and shaking your head, while Sarah glady gives Rhodey her hand in place of yours.

“Well that's the whole story?”

Rhodey turned back to Thor with a mirthless expression.

“Yes, that’s the War Machine story.”

Thor turned to Tony, then back to Rhodey, laughing deeply and then responding with what you had assumed was sarcasm.

“Oh it’s very good then. It’s impressive!”

“Quality save.”

Amused at Thor’s attempt, Rhodey then changed the subject, the conversation moving faster than Steve could run.

“Gentlemen, where are the ladies?”

Maria’s simple question turned into a compliment battle between Tony and Thor.

Sarah continued to giggle and out stretched her arms to the man beside you, a signal to hold her. Stopping your own laughter, you hand Sarah over to Rhodey who was just as giddy as the little girl in his arms.

“Go find your hubby!” Rhodey nudged you in the shoulder and you gave him and Sarah a quick hug before going your separate ways. You shot the two gloating men with a look of mock disappointment, bidding Maria a “good luck”, and then leaving at Rhodey’s wishes.

“What happened to him?” You walked to stand beside Steve, watching as an older gentleman, drunkenly passed out, was being carried by two younger men.

“This.” Steve brought the glass to your lips, a sour look tainting your face after just a small sip.

“My god, what is that?! It takes like fire!” A hearty chuckle left Steve as he pointed to Thor who was holding a small flask and doing shots with a group of men.

Sarah was still with Tony, allowing you and Steve to go enjoy some time with each other. The two of you just stood on the balcony, your arms linked together as the stars brightly painted the sky. It had been a while since you and Steve had such a heartfelt conversation, both recalling old memories. Not only was the man linked beside you, your husband, but also your best friend. You and Steve have always shared everything with the other, whether it be tears or laughter. This man was literally the epitome of your everything.

“Do you remember when you listened to a few of my vinyls for weeks just so you could learn the words?”

Steve’s lips were on your head as he talked, leaving gentle kisses.

A chuckle left your mouth at the adorable yet embarrassing memory.

It was in the beginning of your relationship when you and Steve were just months into a relationship. Steve had always let you choose the music. He even learned how to use cd’s in a boombox, quite the change from vinyls and a record player. Well, one day, Steve had left for a mission, one you were not needed for. During the day that he was gone, you spent hours trying to figure out how to use his record player. When you finally did, that day all you listened to were the vinyls, engraving every word into your mind.

“I couldn’t figure out how to play the vinyls.” A small pout wiggled onto your lips, one Steve kissed away then pulled from your face chuckling breathily.

“Don’t laugh at your wife’s pain!”

“I’m not trying to! You are just so damn adorable. I see where Sarah gets it from.”

An hour later, you and Steve had parted ways and you were currently strolling over to the bar, a martini in mind, but when your daughter came bounding at you, hugging your leg, your plans for a drink changed.

“Hi, Mommy!” Unlatching the girl from your leg, you leaned down to pick her up, seeing Tony now staring at you with a look of relief. Sarah must’ve run from him at the sight of her mother.

You waved Tony away, bidding him back to his conversation.

“What are you doing, Mommy?”

“I was just about to get a drink.”

“Ohhh can I have one?”

After her request, you explained to her that some drinks were for adults. Martini long forgotten, you instead went to order a shirley temple to share with Sarah. At first she was confused since you had just explained that the drinks from the bar were for adults, but then you further told her some drinks were okay. Long story short, Sarah had just learned that she must ask you or Steve since you would both know what to order her.

Now done with the most confusing lesson you’ve ever taught Sarah, you continued your walk to the bar.

Natasha was behind the counter, currently pouring a drink for herself while she and Bruce returned some playful chatter. A few minutes passed and their conversation ended. Smirking, Nat left the flustered man with your husband, who had just shown up at the end of the counter for a beer himself.

“It’s nice.”

Bruce turned to look at Steve, genuinely confused, partly to Steve’s statement and then Natasha's flirting.

“You and Romanoff.”

Once all the pieces finally clicked in the clueless man’s head, he instantly denied the claims thrown his way.

Deciding to finally join the conversation, you walked up beside Steve, who was happily surprised at your appearance, with Sarah on your hip.

“Yeah, you both are adorable!”

Poor Bruce was a ball of nerves not even able to form the words to repudiate your comment.

“It’s okay, nobody’s breaking any bylaws.”

Sarah’s attention had now shifted from the mature conversation and to Thor who was a few feet away. The man was making funny faces at her, snickers ensuing. Tapping your shoulder politely, she then pointed to Thor and you set her down, watching her run away, never once peeling away your eyes until she made it into the safe hold of the man, who shot a thumbs up allowing you to return to Steve and Bruce’s conversation.

“It’s just that she’s not the most… open person in the world, but with you she seems very relaxed.”

“Agreed. You two are practically like Steve and I!”

“No, Natasha, she just likes to flirt.”

“I’ve seen her flirt. Up close. And this ain’t that.” Your husband reached for a beer, then holding his arm out for you.

“Look, as maybe the world’s leading authority on waiting too long. Don’t. You both deserve a win.”

Steve gave Bruce a heartening smile, waiting as you unlatched your arm from his. You placed a friendly peck on the man’s cheek before giving him some words of reassurance.

“Don’t underestimate your worth.” Bruce then gave you both a small meek smile, returning to his drink.

“What do you mean up close!” You and Steve were already long gone yet still able to hear Bruce’s cry of befuddlement to which your husband smirked, causing you to scoldingly slap him on the chest.

“You're absolutely terrible, Grant.”

As expected, Steve just laughed at your reprimand. Whenever you scolded him, it usually involved his middle name being crammed somewhere into your lengthy chide. Like a disciplined child, he’d listen pitifully. Most of the time you’d chastise him for his reckless nature, that scared you to death. Then he’d apologize a thousand times while planting kisses all over your face, making you giggle endlessly, certainly failing at keeping up the irritated facade.

“Yet, you love me, doll.” Steve had somehow dragged you to the dance floor, pulling your flush to him as the song began. You brought your arms to his neck, noses touching as he proudly smiled down on you, slightly tightening his grip on your waist. The two of you swayed slowly, your lips connected softly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Once the song had finished it was replaced with an upbeat line dance to which you and Steve briskly rushed off the floor being met with Sarah who sat at a table with Natasha, cheering at you and Steve.

“Mommy, Daddy! That was omazing!”

“Well, how about you and I go get some celebration cake for everyone!”

As any sane toddler, Sarah agreed to her father’s delectable plan. Steve plucked his daughter from Natasha’s lap, then taking yours and hers order. Once the two had left, you dived right into a conversation with Nat. The topic; Bruce.

Not too long after, the party ended and all Avengers then regrouped, tiredly surrounding the large coffee table covered in takeout and Thor’s hammer idly resting on the end.

“But it’s a trickkkk.” Clint dragged out his statement to emphasize his belief, the little girl sitting beside you, smiling wider.

“No. no. it’s much more than that.” Steve and Thor exchanged the flask as you stared at it, still revolted by its god-awful taste.

“Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power.” You leaned towards the table, reaching for the carton, laughing at Clint’s truthful reenactment.

“Whatever man, it’s a trick!”

Arising a challenge, Thor pointed to Mjolnir.

“Please, be my guest.”

“Come on.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Clint got up from his seat on the ground, walking confidently towards the hammer as Tony let out a snarky remark.

“Clint, you’ve had a tough week, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up.”

Laughter circled around as Clint came up to Thor, a promising look on his face.

“You know I’ve seen this before right?”

With one hand, Clint attempted to pull the hammer, utilizing all his strength not an ounce unused.

“I still don’t know how you do it.”

“Smell the silent judgement?” Giggles escaped yours and Sarah’s lips as Steve turned to see his two best girls enjoying the amusement.

“Please, Stark, by all means.”

With arrogant poise, Stark raised from his seat, scooting to the table as you could picture his impending disappointment, already laughing at the mere thought.

“Never one to shrink from an honest challenge.”

Rolling up his sleeves, Tony placed his arm in the handle of the hammer.

“Right, so, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?”

“Yes, of course.” Thor calmly replied, just basking in the free entertainment from his competitive friends. You could see Steve who was beside him, trying his best to contain his laughter. Directing Sarah’s attention from Tony and to Steve, she held in her own laughter as you explained what was happening.

“I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta.” To no surprise, the hammer didn’t budge leaving Tony quickly trying to cover his displeasure.

Tony then returned with his suit’s hand, the hammer still resting on the table. Even Rhodey joined Tony’s unsuccessful conquest.

“Are you even pulling?”

“Are you on my team?”

“Just represent. Pull.”

Next up was Bruce, who also failed, luckily not hulking out on everyone. Natasha gave him a smile while Steve and Thor tried to hide their merriment.

After Bruce’s fruitless attempt, it soon became your husband’s turn.

“Come on, Cap.”

Steve then pulled on the hammer with all his brawn. You weren’t even sure if you were paying attention to the hammer anymore, too caught up on the shirt clinging to Steve.

Your attention span was then proved when the hammer moved up. Sarah’s eyes widened as did yours. Thor had obviously noticed since you sensed some tensity from him. Steve tried once again, this time receiving the same futile result as the rest. When the hammer stopped budging you saw the now relieved man swiftly try to cover up his reaction. A nervous chuckle escaping his lips, echoing into the glass.

“Nothing!”

“Mrs. & lil Ms. Rogers?” Steve outstretched his hand to yours and Sarah’s, guiding you both towards the hammer. All three of you grabbed the hammer. Steve holding the handle while you and Sarah pulled at the stick. Everyone’s combined strength was enough to lift the hammer had it not been of otherworldly decent. Giving up, Sarah was just a smidge disappointed, perking back to herself at Tony’s quip.

“Even the House of Rogers failed too.” You shot Stark a faux look of vexation from the couch, to which he returned with his tongue poking out. Sarah caught this and then ran to him copying his action while you went to sit on Steve’s lap.

“And, Widow?”

Natasha sipped her beer and shook her head.

“That’s not a question I need answered.”

The night continued on with conspiracy theories about the hammer and playful jabs at Steve’s slip-up on his choice of words from the mission recently, Sarah enjoying every moment of the time albeit past her bedtime.

At some point, Sarah had fallen asleep on your shoulder as you and Steve bid your fellow Avengers goodbye.

Indeed, today has been one of the best days, all in part to your lovely family and closest friends.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #chris evans

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consumedkings-archive · 4 years ago

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ancient names, pt. ix

A John Seed/Original Female Character Fanfic

Ancient Names, pt ix: heartlines

Masterlink Post

Word Count: ~7.3k (yes I am a clown)

Rating: M for now, rating will change in later chapters as things develop.

Warnings: Language, some “light” religious blasphemy (it’s Far Cry 5). Strong canon deviance.

Notes: I have nothing to say for myself, except: thank you thank you thank you! Everyone's comments really just got me through the real brunt of this chapter and it's a long one, oh boy. I cannot reiterate enough how much the hopeless romantic in me desperately wants them to just live happily ever after, and also how MUCH it really means to me to see your guys' feedback, but alas alack, here we are; I, with my long-winded author's notes saying the same thing every time, but I am just as grateful each time it happens.

As always, I have the best, sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful and wonderful proof-reader but most importantly friend who helped me block out this chapter because I was really, really struggling with it. @starcrier, my lover my life my shawty my wife, she is Elliot's number one stan and also an incredible writer so please go check out her stuff!!

On a brief tangent, I have some beautiful artwork made the artist @raviollies on tumblr, which you can find here! I definitely did cry a little tiny bit over it.

It’s your fucking fault.

Elliot’s words, venomous little baby snakes spitting their venom, crawled around the bone arena of his skull. John could not stop replaying them in his head, even though he desperately wanted to; the idea that the rookie deputy might now well and truly hate him—really hate him, more than she maybe ever had before—was an unsettling one. He liked to think that it was because he was worried what Joseph would think if they no longer had her cooperation, her good behavior, but—

But there was something else that dug at him. There was something else squirming in the cavity of his chest, sinking its nails right into him, but he couldn’t pick it out, couldn’t pull it apart.

(Or maybe he didn’t want to; maybe the idea of identifying what this strange and unknowable beast inside of him was kept him from trying too hard, a good enough reason to throw up his hands and say, sorry, I just can’t.)

He pushed the door to the church open, stepping back inside to the cool, dim quiet. Jacob had pulled a map out and spread it over the table, the radio set aside; Joseph sat in a front-row pew, one leg crossed over his knee and his expression mild.

“Did you get the opportunity to chat?” he asked, without looking at John, as though he just knew that it was him and not someone else coming in. “She seemed…” Joseph’s head tilted, just a little. “... Unseated.”

John hesitated, and then began walking down the aisle. “Yes,” he replied. “Although, I don’t know if chat is the proper word for it, considering that she all but put her teeth in my neck.”

“I thought you liked that kind of thing?” Jacob supplied without a hint of a humorous inflection in his voice, and John shot him a dirty look.

“Bleeding out to death? Not particularly.”

Joseph nodded, the gesture gentle, ignoring the bickering. “It does appear as though our deputy is not a damsel in distress, but rather a damsel under duress.” He turned to look at the youngest Seed brother when he reached the front of the church. “But it is nice to see the foundation you’ve put down, John. You’re taking my advice, and it isn’t going unnoticed.”

He felt something pleasant and warm bloom in his chest, billowing up into his head until it almost completely gassed out the venomous little vipers Elliot had planted in his mind. “I did have an idea about that,” he added, feeling more emboldened by Joseph’s praise as he walked past the table. “About endearing the deputy to us.”

“Oh? Well, I’m all ears.”

John’s gaze flickered across the space between his two brothers. Jacob had said nothing; he was bent over the map, dog tags glinting in the single beam of light that hit them from the window, one veiny hand clenched into a fist as it held the map in place.

“Maybe,” John continued, “our dear brother could try to stop antagonizing her.”

“Why?” the red-headed deadpanned, not looking up from the map. The fact that Jacob didn’t even deign to make eye-contact with him was enough to make irritation prickle in his chest, raise his proverbial hackles.

“Why?” John reiterated. “Perhaps because each time you open your mouth, you incriminate yourself as a villain—and us too, by proxy.”

“You can drop the attorney lingo,” Jacob said dryly, finally lifting his head to look at John—and John wished that he hadn’t, because the half-lidded, arrogant gaze of his eldest brother only served to stoke the fires of anger inside of him.

“It’s just my vocabulary, Jacob, and you missed the entire point, by the way, so in the interest of making sure we’re all on the same page—”

“—not an idiot, little brother, so you don’t need to—”

“I think John is right,” Joseph interrupted, effectively silencing the argument that was brewing. “He’s done exactly as I asked of him. Think of a stray dog, Jacob; you don’t beat it into submission. You feed it, nurture it, gain its trust, and then it becomes a lifelong companion.” The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “A loyal companion.”

“This is an age-old philosophical debate.” Jacob’s brows furrowed together; a deep-set frown sat on his face. “A classic: is it better to be feared than to be loved? I think that we’re going to disagree fundamentally on this one.”

“Well,” Joseph replied mildly, “aren’t we lucky that there’s only one of us in charge of how our deputy is treated, then?”

John’s breath flickered out of his chest in a single blink at Joseph’s words. Casual and ever-so-patient, as though Jacob’s jaw weren’t setting in preparation to argue, as though it didn’t strike John right in his gut to hear Joseph say, there’s only one of us in charge of how our deputy is treated, as though it didn’t twist the knife right between his ribs to hear Joseph refer to Elliot as their deputy, over and over again.

A stamp. A brand. Joseph claimed, like he always did, the things that he thought rightfully belonged to him.

“Someone’s lucky,” Jacob said at last, a final and reluctant acquiescence.

Joseph’s small smile did not disappear. In fact, it seemed only to root itself more firmly on his face, as though he were pleased at Jacob’s unease. Joseph’s gaze flickered back to John, settling on him and then beckoning him forward.

He did as Joseph bid, coming and sitting beside his older brother and clearing his throat. He wanted to stop thinking about the way that Joseph had said our deputy, like he had any claim on Elliot—and that shouldn’t have bothered John, but it did, wriggled its way through the spaces between his ribs and squeezed, nice and tight.

“She was upset,” Joseph said, when John had settled next to him; it was not a question, but a statement, an assertion of what Joseph knew to be true. Their eldest brother scoffed from his spot at the table, bent back over the map, tracing and re-tracing the topography lines. John shifted in his seat a little.

“I think Jacob might have ruined any chance at a merciful conversion when he mentioned that her friends would deserve it if they didn’t make it out.” John’s voice was hard when he shot the red-head a stinging look, but unsatisfyingly, Jacob did not lift his head this time. John felt the strain of his brows furrowing at the center of his head, and then Joseph’s hand was on the side of his face, fingers spreading against his hair, primed and comfortable to grip.

“Grief,” Joseph said, his voice low and soothing, “is a part of change. Like shedding a skin.”

“It’s not—she was furious with me,” John replied, grimacing. “She just kept saying she hated me, and us. Joseph, I think—it would be beneficial to let me do things my way—”

“Our deputy is killing the person she used to be, John.” Joseph’s gaze was steady, piercing, a venomous yellow. His other hand came to the right side of John’s face, cradling him. “Strangling her old self, with her own hands. People like us, we’re lucky; we’ve always known who we were meant to be.” He leaned against the wooden backing of the pew again. “You’ve guided her here. Give her a while to grieve that girl from before. Patience is a virtue.”

John’s throat felt tight. He thought the Elliot in the bar those years ago—flushing and soft, breathless when he leaned into her—and the Elliot threatening to choke a man to death in front of him if he didn’t beg for his life, and the Elliot who played baseball with a shovel and a man’s head, and the Elliot that smoked a cigarette down to nothing while she cranked Welcome To The Jungle up on a van stolen from a group of crazy Swedish cultists.

He was not convinced she had not already killed the girl she used to be.

“You have got to have faith.” Joseph’s voice broke him out of his reverie. When John looked over to his brother, Joseph was absently dragging his thumb along his lower lip, his eyes fixed on the Eden’s Gate emblem glowing above them in the afternoon light. “Remember what I said; you have to love them. I know you can do this for me.”

His throat felt tight. This would be easier, he thought, if he could have just done everything this way. Wrath, he thought, would look perfect on her. But that wasn’t right; wrath already fit her. There was no skin to be shed. It was already on.

“John.”

He dragged his gaze from the white collar of Joseph’s shirt to his brother’s gaze, meeting it.

“Tell me you can do this,” Joseph said, his voice lower now, softer. It was not his counseling voice; this was Joseph asking him, his brother, not the man who led the masses. Asking, demanding, but waiting patiently for it to be given, never taking before it was time.

He was no longer thinking about Elliot at her fiercest, but rather the way she had softened for him, on occasion. Pressed against him for warmth, lashes wet with tears, unwilling to let go of his arm.

“I can,” John replied, “for you.”

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Elliot didn’t know for how long she slept. When she woke, the sun was still in the sky, the air felt sticky and wet with late-summer humidity, and while she slept sweat had gathered at the nape of her neck and in the hollows and dips of her body. For a second, panic filled her—she couldn’t remember where she was, or how she got there, confusion twisting and knotting its way through her.

And then she remembered. She was in Joseph’s compound, in a bunkhouse that served as a home to Eden’s Gate members, dressed in Eden’s Gate clothes sans her boots and underclothes. Elliot wiped the sweat from her forehead and pulled her hair out of the ponytail. Standing proved dizzying, and she felt the dehydration twisting around in her stomach like a scorpion; stinging, and unkind.

“Fuck,” she said, pressing the heel of her palm to her eye. The gesture reminded her that she had done it just recently; just before she screamed at John, just before she told him that she hated him. Oh, yes. That.

Grief still squirmed around inside of her, but it had been abated, for now, and she thought that she almost—

“No.” Elliot’s voice was firm, but still wobbled on its legs, when she spoke to herself. “I don’t feel bad about what I said.”

“Good to know.” It was John’s voice from the doorway, bringing with him a hot breeze that should have felt good being that they were on an island, but it just added to the humidity. Elliot’s stomach twisted violently at the sound of his voice. It wasn’t anger that populated her mind, now, but embarrassment: that she’d let him get under her skin, that she’d let him see her without her veneer, that he’d been there and endured it and now he stood here again, undeterred, as though John Seed were someone with a moral high ground that allowed him to endure verbal attacks and return as though nothing had happened.

I hate you. Elliot willed the words to her mouth, tried to muster the venom, but she couldn’t. She fixed her eyes instead on the knot of a wooden floor panel, trying to ignore the sight of John moving in the corner of her eyes, closing the space between them. He did this, always—invaded her space, overwhelmed her, until saying things like I hate you became harder.

He smelled like sweat, and day-old cologne, and heat and dust and outside, and when he put his hand on her arm she opened her mouth to say something—anything, any of the venom that might come to her in the heat-addled and perspiring confusion—but he put a cold water bottle, slick with condensation, in her hand.

Her eyes went to find the bloodstain on his shirt when she realized that he wasn’t wearing that shirt anymore. He was in a white shirt, the same kind that Joseph wore.

“Drink,” he said. “I promise it isn’t poisoned.”

Elliot turned the cap of the bottle. It cracked, promising that the seal was freshly broken, and she brought it to her mouth and took one heavy swig before she pulled it away. Her nerve-endings immediately screamed in relief at the water in her mouth, but her stomach lurched—she knew she’d need to pace herself, or she’d be puking it up in a few minutes.

“Did you sleep?” John asked when she didn’t say anything. Elliot sucked her teeth.

“I don’t think we should play at being friends,” she said, her voice wicked with a dry, crackling, wildfire-in-the-making heat. John’s gaze was steady, though, once again unfettered by her words and remaining in her space. She was more aware of it than ever, now: as though resting, and having basic necessities like shower and drinking water also made her all the more aware of John’s presence, the heat radiating off of his body and the way he was watching her—

(like he couldn’t get enough of her)

—like he wanted to make sure that nothing she did escaped him.

“We’re not playing at being friends, deputy,” John drawled, crossing his arms over his chest and rocking back on his heels a bit as he looked at her. “Whether you like it or not, you and I are on the same side.”

“For now,” Elliot bit out.

“For now,” he acquiesced, as gracious as ever.

Her eyes narrowed. John was not the kind of person who forgave and forgot the sorts of things that she’d said to him. Elliot felt the suspicion rising up in her throat. She kept waiting for the punchline; for John to say something stupid like, and when this is over you’ll be begging for me to absolve your sins, or something equally driven by ego and his desire to have Joseph’s approval.

“So,” John began again, arms unfolding elegantly to be held out in a gesture of harmlessness, “did you sleep?”

Elliot took another swallow of her water bottle, stepping around John. Her body instantly braced itself—as though she expected him to try and stop her—but he didn’t; merely turned with her, a planet trapped in her orbit.

“Briefly.” She kept her voice short and clipped as she headed towards the door. “Are your friends back?”

“Jacob’s ready whenever you are.”

Her face scrunched up at the mention of the eldest Seed brother. She was now unsure which of them was the most unpleasant to be around; they all found their own special ways to get under her skin. John, perhaps, was the worst; Joseph and Jacob, she could handle their particular brand of crazy, but John—he was harder for her to read, because all of the time spent with him had started to cloud her brain.

“Why are you being nice to me?” she demanded, turning suddenly to find that he’d crossed the bunkhouse again, as though to follow her outside. Because she hadn’t quite gone out, yet, he now stood nearly nose to nose with her, even with her back pressed against the door of the bunkhouse.

John’s gaze swept over her. “Does it bother you?”

The plastic of the water bottle crunched in her hand. Her jaw set, painfully tight, holding back her gut reaction—to tell him that yes, it did bother her—and instead swallowed thickly. It would be just like John, to go out of his way to be nice to her because he thought it would unsettle her. But then, wasn’t John all about bending and cracking someone to his will, no gentleness required?

A headache splintered behind her eyes, throbbing painfully. She was spending too much time trying to parse John Seed out, and that was her first mistake.

“I’m just surprised you know how,” Elliot snipped, watching the way her words ticked the corner of his mouth upward in that easy, boyish smile.

“I can be nice,” John offered, “if someone isn’t spitting venom at me nonstop, calling me pathetic.”

“Fucking pathetic,” she pointed out, ignoring the way John’s eyes flickered down to her mouth and then back up to meet her eyes. “I shouldn’t have said that—”

“—no need to apologize after the fact, deputy—”

“—because I know how sensitive you are,” Elliot finished, wiping the smile off of John’s face, “and since we’re on the same side, I suppose I can’t afford to have you down and out.”

John’s eyes narrowed. His hand found the doorknob, and he was very close, so close all of a sudden that for a brief moment Elliot’s brain short-circuited and all she could think about was how unjust it was that a man so deserving of her venom could make cologne smell so good.

And then he said, “No, I suppose you can’t,” and opened the door behind her, the heat of the afternoon sun sunk into her skin, sticky and hot. “I work best when my partner isn’t trying to fight me the entire time.”

She turned and stepped out of the bunkhouse, clutching the water bottle in her fist and putting as much distance between herself and John as she said, “And I work the best if you stay the fuck out of my way, John.”

No more, she thought, decisively, no more of that.

Images of Eden’s Gate members scattered in her periphery; they were eager to look, but not eager to be seen, so that when she turned her head to find them they were already disappearing behind a corner or into a building. The heat was no more bearable if she was moving, either, the sun high in the sky and threatening to burn any exposed skin.

John fell into step beside her, his hand landing on the doorknob to the church before she could open it, holding it closed while she stopped on the landing.

“Jacob likes when he gets under your skin,” he said to her, the words sounding a little different than before. “He might say whatever he can to rile you up, and make you look unreliable to Joseph.”

Elliot hesitated. She didn’t know why John was giving her this information; not only because she already knew that—because of course Jacob enjoyed pushing her—but she didn’t understand why John was trying to be helpful. It was always going to be the Seed brothers against her, wasn’t it?

She thought of the way they had been bickering, the two brothers, while she tried to gather herself after her call with Jerome. She wished she’d been paying attention so that she could know what it was they had been arguing about.

John waited expectantly. He said, “You want to get Joey out of there, don’t you?”

“Of course.” Her brows furrowed. “What kind of—”

“And I want Faith out of there, with as little risk as possible,” he plunged on, keeping the door in place, “so we can’t get outvoted in there. Joseph does take you seriously, though who can imagine why—”

“If you’re trying to convince me we’re actually partners,” Elliot deadpanned, “you’re doing a shit job of it.”

“All I’m saying,” John continued irritably, “is that if we present a unified front in there, we have a better chance of us both getting what we want.”

Elliot didn’t want to admit that he was right. The last thing she ever wanted to do was tell John Seed that he was right about something. But if she had to weigh her options, she’d rather tell John he was right than do whatever the fuck it was that Jacob and Joseph wanted her to do. One Seed brother she could handle.

So, she relented, “Fine.”

John stuck out his free hand to her, grinning. “Shake on it, partner?”

Elliot groaned and swatted his hand away. “Don’t push it, buck,” she replied, pushing the door open—and this time, John let her, trailing in after her. Jacob and Joseph were in their spots at the front of the chapel, waiting ever-so-patiently. She reminded herself of what John had confirmed; that Jacob liked to see her on the brink of a meltdown, that he was a pusher.

It did not escape her that John had not offered any insight into Joseph.

“Have a nice nap?” Jacob asked as she came up to the table with the map.

“Funny, John asked me the same thing.” Elliot kept her voice even and took a drink of her water before she started tying her hair back into a ponytail. “So, where are they? Where are Joey and Faith?”

“South of here, the faithful say,” Joseph said before Jacob could speak again. “At Sacred Skies Lake. Just past Angel’s Peak. It sounds like they don’t go by any name, and just call themselves a family.”

“And do the faithful say what they’ve been doing?” she asked tartly. She had an idea of where they had made their home; probably at the abandoned youth camp, though as far as she last remembered that had been occupied by Joseph’s own.

Well, probably not for very long. There was no way Joseph’s little rednecks could hold up to the precision that these crazies had.

“Living,” Jacob replied, his gaze hard and his jaw set. “They’re not doing anything. They’re just—there. Like they’re waiting for something.”

Elliot’s stomach plummeted at Jacob’s words. There was no way he could have known, surely; she hadn’t told John, and she hadn’t said anything to them in the car, about the way Ase had cradled her face, and called her mor, and had said, I know that you will always come back to us.

Fuck. There’s no fucking way.

But there was. If Ase didn’t have absolute confidence that Elliot would seek them out, why would she have let them go? Why would they have been mostly unscathed? They were playing with their food—a sick, drawn-out catch-and-release.

The brothers had started speaking again. The aqua curve of Sacred Skies on the map burned into her retinas the longer she stared at it without blinking.

“Waiting for me,” Elliot mustered up after a moment, her mouth feeling very dry. “They’re waiting for me.”

Three pairs of eyes fixed on her, all with the same uncanny precision. There was no time for it to bother her; her stomach was already rolling with nausea.

And then Jacob barked out, “Explain,” and she thought she might punch him in the face if he didn’t shut up. Elliot took in a deep breath, mustering all of the composure she could manage, and focused herself on the map.

“When John and I got—when we had our run-in with the family,” she began, “we were separated, and—they drugged me, with something. But their leader, Ase, she was there for a little while—”

“What?” John demanded. So much for presenting a unified front, she thought ruefully. She shot him a look, willing him to be quiet, to just let her gather her thoughts; blissfully, he did.

“She kept calling me something in Swedish,” Elliot explained, “and she kept saying all of this weird stuff, like—like that she saw my color, that she saw me, and then…”

The Seeds all stared at her, waiting expectantly. Even Jacob remained silent.

“And then she said something like… Like that she was going to let me go, but only because she knew I was always going to come back to her.”

A moment of silence stretched in front of her, endless and dizzying, where no one in the room said anything and all Elliot could think about were all the things that Ase had said.

And then, as though these words had almost no impact on him, Jacob said, “Well, at least we have proper bait.”

“Absolutely not,” John cut in immediately, angrily. “You’re not putting Elliot out there to try and lure them here—”

“—they want her, I don’t see why we wouldn’t—”

“Brothers,” Joseph interrupted, his voice effectively bringing both John and Jacob to heel. Like before, he stood directly across from Elliot; her gaze was fixed on him now, tumbling Ase’s words around in her head while the Seeds argued about whether or not she was shark bait or not. “What do you think, deputy?”

The words were gentle. Elliot knew what they were; certainly, Joseph knew how long it had been since someone had asked her opinion, rather than her having to fight tooth and nail for someone even to consider it.

“I think—we could get Ase to come out of the youth camp, which is probably where they’re holed up,” she said after a moment, willing the charm of Joseph’s attentiveness away. Her gaze slid to John for a moment. “If we used me as bait.”

“Are you serious?” John demanded. He took her arm in his hand, pulling her from the table and hissing, “When I said present a unified front—”

“If we’re partners, you have to trust me,” Elliot insisted tersely. His expression hardened. A part of her hoped that he regretted suggesting they be anything remotely close to on the same team, and a part of her was glad that he had, or he wouldn’t look like the words you’re right were sitting right on his tongue.

Finally, at last, he said, “Fine.”

Elliot turned back to Jacob and Joseph, with the brunette’s hand still on her arm, and asked, “Are you any good with a sniper rifle?”

“The best.” Jacob’s voice was clipped, insistent. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“So if I can get Ase out to meet me,” she continued, “can you not shoot me?”

His eyes narrowed, but there was a tiny, tiny smile pulling at his lips. “Scout’s honor.”

John exhaled a sharp, short breath. “This is ridiculous—”

But before he could plunge onward, Joseph held up his hand to stop him. He turned his gaze to her, now, studying her for a few long heartbeats before he said, “Do you think they won’t kill Faith if we kill their leader?”

Elliot shrugged his hand off of her arm and walked back to the table, setting her water bottle on the table and crossing her arms over her chest. “I think like any snake,” she replied, “the body won’t function if you cut the head off.”

“At any rate,” Jacob interjected, “push comes to shove and you can get in without a firefight to get Faith out of there.”

“And Joey,” Elliot replied firmly, and stifled down the absolute fury when Jacob shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“We’ll start making the preparations immediately.” Joseph sounded pleased. It took everything in her power not to say something just spite that, to remember that even though she didn’t want to be, she supposed that she was on their side, too.

Jacob gathered up the map from the table and immediately set off after Joseph, who had stepped down from the small stage and gone to the side door. Elliot picked up her water bottle and took one more heavy drink to finish it off before she turned and looked at John.

His brows knitted together at the center of his forehead. He looked troubled. It was not an expression that she was used to seeing on John Seed’s face; it might have been endearing, if she didn’t know that he was troubled by her, and not in the fun way.

“Spit it out, then,” Elliot prompted. John heaved a loud, impatient sigh.

“This is a stupid idea,” John said abruptly, angrily. It was a change of pace from the cocky asshole he normally liked to be. “There’s no way that they know they aren’t waiting for you to show up so they can skin and gut you, and—”

She waited, patiently, for him to get the words out. Whatever they were, they stuck in his throat.

“—and what use would you be then?” he finished, his lip curling up in clear distaste. Ah, there he is, Elliot thought absently. Almost thought I’d lost you, John.

“Don’t worry,” she said lightly. When she had capped her water bottle again, she headed to the back of the church. It feels good, she thought, pushing on the door, to have a plan again. “I’ll far outlive my use to you, Seed.”

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The plan was simple.

Elliot was going to walk herself—unarmed, much to her personal chagrin—out to the Sacred Skies Youth Camp, once they dropped her off. Jacob would already be in a position where he could get a good look at what was going on, and when he got a clear shot at Ase, he was going to take it.

And they were banking on the woman coming out to get Elliot herself, based on what Elliot had told them. John was not convinced, but he had been overruled; it was no longer his choice, and instead of going in and being on the same team as Elliot, he had found himself on the opposite of the playing board from all three of them—his brothers and the deputy.

Not ideal.

But now, as John parked the truck at the bottom of the hill leading up to the youth camp, all he could feel was dread knotting his stomach. The plan was supposed to be simple, but John remained unconvinced that it would be executed as easily as everyone seemed to think it would.

Elliot seemed in perfect spirits; she’d eaten a handful of granola bars, finished off two other water bottles, and her coughing had become less frequent. Not once had he seen her reach for a cigarette, either. It was like the second she had an actionable plan, she no longer stressed: there was nothing for her to worry about, beyond getting the job done.

John met her gaze through the rearview mirror. “You’re sure?” he prompted, and ignored the way Joseph’s head gently cocked to the side. Elliot flashed him a smile.

“Just focus on making sure Jacob doesn’t shoot me in the head,” she replied, “okay? And I’ll focus on getting Joey and Faith out of there.”

Joseph said, lightly, “That’s all we could ever hope for, deputy,” and when he did Elliot shot John a look through the mirror, a look that said, can you fucking believe this guy? And for one, brief second it felt like they shared a joke only between the two of them.

Then she pushed the back door of the truck open and kicked her legs out, landing on the dirt road with a soft thump. The blonde closed the truck door and then came up to John’s window, which had been rolled down, and said, “You’re sure you don’t want to give me a weapon?”

It would blow the whole fucking thing if they caught her with a gun or a knife, Jacob had said; if by some strange happenstance he didn’t snipe the shit out of the crazy fucking Swedish woman, and Elliot wound up getting dragged into the belly of the beast, having a weapon on her would out her immediately. They would know that she hadn’t come willingly, but that she had come with the intent to harm.

At least in the instance that they somehow avoided Jacob, she could lie her way out of it. Maybe.

“I have absolute faith,” John said, mimicking Joseph’s veneer of confidence, “that you can make a weapon out of just about anything if you need to.” She patted the side of the truck and took one centering breath, but before she could set off up the hill John said, “Elliot—”

The blonde turned back around to look at him, life and vigor back in her face and one brow arched loftily at him.

Be careful, he thought to say, the words sticking in his throat. That’s what he should have been saying, if they were actually partners—even fake partners, even tenuous partners, partners-by-proxy because John insisted for the sake of feeling like he had some control over the situation and Elliot because there was no one better that she had the chance to pick. Not exactly setting the bar very high, were they?

“Any day now, John.” Elliot’s voice snapped his attention back to reality. She was waiting expectantly, but there wasn’t impatience in her voice; she was content, at last, to have motion. He cleared his throat.

“Don’t start going yet,” he said, instead of the things he thought would matter, like, don’t forget to breathe. “Give Joseph and I a chance to get up to where Jacob is.”

She gave him a two-finger salute, wisps of hair fluttering into her face from a late-afternoon breeze. “Yes, boss.”

John threw the truck into reverse, pulling back and then into a u-turn to head off down the road. The car was silent for a moment, blissfully, with the golden-hour light drenching the two of them in a warm glow. If he didn’t know what was going on just out of reach, he might have felt like he was transplanted into a different time and place entirely.

“You don’t need to worry about her, John,” Joseph said lightly.

“I’m not,” John replied, pulling the truck off of the road. Dry brush crunched and snapped beneath the weight of the tires. “She’s perfectly capable of handling herself with three granola bars in her system and healthy bout pneumonia.”

“You sound frustrated.”

“I just think that maybe we could have picked someone that’s not—” John inhaled. He parked the truck deep into a grove; to the right of them, a small trail would lead up to where Jacob waited with his perfect vantage point to see Ase come out and collect Elliot. “—Sick,” he finished, after a moment, “and not such a wildcard. You know she tried to kill one of the guards when I had her at the ranch? She was going to choke him to death, right then and there. For—touching her, or something.”

Joseph looked unaffected as he stepped out of the truck. “I’m unsurprised, if that’s what you’re looking for.” And he paused, looking thoughtful for a moment, before he said, "Touching her, you said?"

John ignored the question. “Well, then maybe that should speak to the level of reliability Elliot displays.”

“I think you’re underestimating the power of a positively-reinforced bond.” As Joseph spoke, John fell into step beside him, climbing up the slope. Behind them, he heard the distant sound of voices; the members of Eden’s Gate that weren’t holed up would be waiting for Jacob’s signal to swarm, if things looked grim. “Didn’t she say she hated you, and us? And yet today, here she is. In a good mood, no longer frothing at the mouth, rabid and dangerous.”

“She’s still dangerous,” John started, but Joseph stopped him by pressing his hands to his shoulders.

“You’ve done exactly as I asked,” he said, a mirror of the words he’d said before. “Remember? You haven’t beaten your stray into submission. This—” Joseph gestured with his hand in the general direction of where they had dropped Elliot off. “—is all only possible because of the work that you have put in, John. And when we bring Faith home, and return to our followers, that is what they’ll remember. Not the person the deputy used to be.”

John’s felt something hot and painful twist in his chest, prickling pain squirming up his spinal cord. He should have been pleased to hear Joseph refer to Elliot as something that belonged to them and instead was giving him some ownership—but he realized too late that it wasn’t what he had been wanting from his brother. This wasn’t what he wanted from Elliot.

He swallowed and said, thickly, “Yes, Joseph.”

“Good boy.” Joseph held him in a tight hug, the pressure of the gesture relieving some of the stress in his shoulders like muscle memory pulling it right out of him, and then he pulled back. “Now, let’s go and get our sister back, yes?”

His brother stepped up the last stretch of the slope, and he followed obediently behind. Jacob was perched carefully, eyeing the scope and muttering to himself; as John crouched beside him, and Joseph on the other side, the redhead breathed out a little swear.

“Stupid piece of shit,” he sighed. “Remind me to get these upgraded next chance we get.”

“What’s wrong?” John asked, already on edge.

“Nothing’s wrong—the gun’s perfectly functional, it’s just not as stealthy as a rifle should be,” Jacob explained. “It’s got a red dot sight on it.”

John’s eyes narrowed, his teeth clenching. “So they’ll see it the second you get it on that woman.”

“They might,” Jacob protested, “I’ll just have to be fast.”

“Where’s your rifle?”

“It’s back at the center,” his brother snapped. “I didn't have the opportunity to grab it before I went on a wild hunt for you across the Montana countryside. Anything else I can help you with today, little brother?”

“There’s no time for arguing,” Joseph interjected, sounding almost tired now. “Quiet, now.”

From their vantage point, they had a clear view of Elliot. The blonde was yelling something to garner attention, to lure people out, and there was some movement through the trees that blocked off the camp up the road. He could see her start to walk farther up, and then stop, hesitating.

“Someone’s coming,” Jacob said, peering carefully through the scope.

Tentative bodies drifted down the road, breaking the treeline: though John could not see Ase’s strange, lithe form anywhere among them, he could hear what he thought was certainly her voice, saying something to Elliot, who had her hands up carefully to show that she was weapon-free as best she could.

The movement that he thought might be the Swedish woman stopped just before the treeline. Come on, John thought, taking in a breath, come on, you fucking bitch, come out here.

It was someone else that stepped forward from the protection of the tree line. It was Ase’s man, the tall, broad-shouldered ginger, though he too looked unarmed. John tried not to think about how easily he had nearly disposed of them with only his hands, last time.

The man made it to Elliot, gesturing for her to come forward, to close the last foot of distance between them herself; she did as he bid, straying to her right, feigning innocence. John knew what she was doing: leaving room for Jacob to make a shot.

“That’s not her,” John hissed.

“Yes, I’m not fucking blind.” Jacob’s voice was sharp but steady. “She’s leaning for me. Who is he?”

“Her—right-hand man, or something. I don’t think you should take...”

John’s voice trailed off. The man had stopped Elliot, snagging her wrist—which looked tiny in his hand—and said something to her that did not look pleasant.

“I think I should,” Jacob muttered, shifting the rifle.

“Jacob—” John began, sensing the way his eldest brother’s muscles tensed, ready.

Elliot was saying something to him. She paused, just briefly, and John saw her head tilt down; she saw it, first, and then the ginger looked down at his chest just as Jacob was lining up his shot.

The incriminating red dot gave it away. The man’s head shot up and locked on them instantly, and before Jacob could pull the trigger, he’d twisted Elliot around and pulled her right against his chest, his hand gripping the pillar of her throat.

John’s stomach plummeted. He heard, as though in a last-ditch effort, Elliot shout his name: and he didn’t know if it was because she wanted help or if she wanted someone to take the shot anyway. He didn’t know if either of those options was more comforting than the other.

The man had shifted her so that the red dot now lay directly over her chest, pinning her, and Jacob did not pull away from the scope. Even from this distance, John could see the wicked grin splitting across his expression.

“Do not fucking shoot,” John hissed, “Jacob—do not fucking shoot—”

For sure, now, he heard her voice. "John," she said, desperately, his name choked in her throat by the grip of the Swedish man bruising her skin.

“There’s a good chance it would hit him and kill him,” Jacob insisted, his finger hovering over the trigger. “They’re goading us. This is the perfect opportunity to—”

“You fuck,” John seethed. “Joseph, tell him not to shoot!”

Joseph was silent, his jaw set lightly and his gaze fixed on the scene before them; Elliot, struggling to breathe, while the man began to make his way back to the treeline with her body shielding him. For the first time since Elliot had become a problem of theirs, John saw his older brother take time to consider whether or not he really needed her alive or not.

“Killing a right-hand man would be—”

“The plan was to let her get taken in,” John snapped. “Not to fucking shoot through her to get to some nobody!”

“That was before they knew we tried to trick them,” Jacob insisted. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, little brother—”

“Leave it.” Joseph’s voice was final, and sharp. It seemed his brother was bringing an end to fights like this more and more often. “They won’t kill her, or the others. They want her for something. If you shoot through her, we’ll lose our one person on the inside.”

Jacob looked, for one split second, like he might willfully disobey Joseph’s final ruling on the matter. The hard lines of the eldest Seed’s face sharpened, steeling, before he finally flipped the safety on the rifle and straightened up.

A swift, hot breeze drifted through, picking up dust along the dirt road, and right as the shade of the treeline began, the man stopped. John could see Elliot squirming against his grip, her fingers grasping at his wrist and hands, scratching as she gasped for air: but he was immovable, and his attention wasn’t on her, anyway.

It was on them—where he thought they might be. He lifted his hand, thumb up, and two fingers out in the shape of a gun, pointed it at them, and mimicked a single gunshot.

Jacob was seething, the emotion rolling off of him in waves. “The fucking gall—”

But John wasn’t listening anymore. He felt like he was going to throw up. This was exactly what he’d been worried about happening—and here it was, laid out before him, a feast spoiled rotten by reality. He couldn’t get the sound of the way she’d called for him, desperately, like he was the last safeguard she had left.

And yet again, he had failed her. Her, and Faith, and sure, while he was at it, he could stick Joey Hudson’s name on the list; and didn't that mean he'd failed Joseph, too?

John came to a stand. “I have to go in,” he said, assertively, drawing both sets of eyes from his brothers now. “They know, now, and—they think Elliot is a big threat, so if there��s a chance she’ll put up a fight they’ll drug the fuck out of her. I should go in, and Jacob can watch my back, because—”

Because I don’t trust anyone else to get this done the way it needs to be. The thought auto-completed itself in his brain, but the words didn’t come, and it didn’t look like Jacob nor Joseph expected it out of him.

“John,” Joseph said, “are you sure you want to do that?”

“Faith is our sister,” John replied, “and didn’t you say that’s who I was? Ever-giving?”

The man hesitated, just for a second; the sound of chatter below, and Elliot’s furious voice rising as she presumably was given more room to breathe, echoed in the air.

“Yes,” Joseph said at last, relenting. “We did.”

John nodded, turning and making his way down the slope. He kept thinking of the way Elliot had said his name, because it wasn’t the first time she had done that; in the van, too, his had been the first she’d said.

And he couldn’t stop thinking of Ase’s man, either, and the way he’d wielded her with ease, the way he’d grinned when he’d spotted them, the way his hand gripped Elliot’s throat like he’d choke her to death right there if he’d gotten the chance.

No, John thought furiously as the truck came into sight, that won’t do at all.

#far cry 5 #john seed #john seed x deputy #ch: elliot honeysett #fc5 #john seed x ofc #fic: ancient names #my writing #me: KISS KISS KISS #also me: elliot will strangle john with her bare hands if he's not careful #this is true love and no one can tell me otherwise

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rem289 · 5 years ago

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Q: Why are you writing this post?

A: Because during the Christmas holidays I started to receive attention from the Zootopia fandom which led me to re-discover some concepts that I thought I had made clear, and since this didn’t turn out to be true, I am forced to reiterate them.

Q: What happened?

A: I discovered that someone had reposted, obviously without my consent, an old comic of Aoimotion and mine on reddit, a site I don't like and on which I had already said not to publish my actually and old contents. This repost "reminded" this fandom of my existence, and after this event some people came to ask us questions such as "when Nick and Judy would reappear in our work?" and the like.

You can imagine how much it bothered me, so I went to reddit and wrote to immediately delete the content. Unfortunately, doing this I couldn’t help but notice how the post had become a place to waste insinuations and insults aimed at me and Aoimotion. In particular, the comments of three users stood out: @ggctuk , @owningsuperset7 and @hammytotherescue

Q: Why did these users get your attention?

A: ggctuk, which I have no idea who they are, have proclaimed themselves as the narrative voice of the events that have taken place between us and the fandom, providing a lot of incomplete and, in the worst case, completely wrong information, about why we left the fandom and about the alleged "abusive behaviors" we had against translators.

Owningsuperset7 spoke about us (like he does every time the occasion presents itself to him), defining us ungrateful towards the fandom "that had fed us". But "fed" in what sense? It seems to me that we have been those who have definitely "eaten" very little… or likes can be monetized, just like the views on youtube, and I didn't know it? Did they break the keyboard in order to put those likes on our works? If it’s so, I'm sorry, but I certainly wasn't the one who pointed the gun at their head to follow my work. Always remember that paying attention to a work is always and only a reader’s choice. No creator has power over these phenomena, we just create and publish, the rest is always an unknown factor. So expressing yourself as a seduced and abandoned lover on an old and free work doesn’t make you a victim, it only makes you ridiculous. Anyway, I know the subject, who had already decided in the past to talk on DeviantArt before I blocked him, and I decided not to tell him anything in that moment, also because, what can you say to a person who clearly has problems that go beyond fandom? Sometimes ignoring is the kindest choice you can make.

Hammytotherescue instead claimed that he and I were friends in the past, before the duo formed by me and aoimotion became toxic. Since I had no memory of this person and I hate when someone alludes to relationships with me that don't exist, I wrote to him privately on Tumblr asking him if he could kindly refresh my memory about this "friendship" he was bragging about.

Q: How did it end?

A: The conversation, which I report below because I, unlike him, have nothing to be ashamed of, is as follows:

As you can see, Hammy never replied to my last message . But in reality the story was not over. A few days ago, in fact, I discover that the user in question "vented" in the post of reddit, not under my comment (so that I received notification of his reply) but in response to another comment that had been left to me. Showing, as always, the incredible maturity of these people.

After reading this comment, I decided to act by reporting the user on reddit, but the answer I received can be summarized as: "since you are a content creator, you deserve insults regardless." In short, a response as useful and smart as the people who gave it to me. So don’t worry Hammy, you won't be banned from reddit because the only braincell shared by you users agrees that defining a toxic and manipulative person is, to quote one of the wise moderators I talked to, "a fairly typical level of criticism". All is well that ends well.

Q: You mentioned "concepts to reiterate". What would they be?

A: Let's start by denying what ggctuk wrote in that reddit's post, given how much popularity his comments have gained.

My split from this fandom started because I simply lost interest in Nick and Judy and preferred to do something else, something of my own. Black Jack gave us the opportunity to invent many original characters and they was those I wanted to work on. We have never worked for ulterior motives other than having fun together. When we recognized that we no longer have anything to give to this universe, we declared it openly and closed this chapter of our "artistic life". This split could take place in a peaceful and calm way, I would have taken my own path and you yours, since it was obvious, since BJ times, that you had very little interest in our original contents. You also reiterated this between the lines of these last comments, so really, I make a terrible effort to understand your logic of contents belonging to your fandom. It's not your fault, don't worry. You have been spoiled by this entrenched habit of creating any anthropomorphic animal and attributing it to your precious and super-nutritive fandom. Once you labeled this attitude at heresy, now everything is fine as long as it helps you keeping this universe going, honestly, I just pity you. However it seems that your obsession with me prevents you from accepting the fact that my life would have continued even without this fandom and that I would have lived very well even without the amount of likes that fanarts could give me. Indeed my life would be even more beautiful if I didn't have to waste time like I am doing now.

Both me and aoimotion together gave you a lot, and in the end we simply got it back. Jack is a prime example: yes, he is a character born from the scratches of Zootopia's artwork, but thanks to our work he has evolved to the point of becoming a completely original character. This fandom has not been able to accept it and until the end has tried to claim him as its own, and even now it can’t accept that we have instead taken him back, and even less can you bear that we are successfully using him in our original works, which is why you insist so much on his "Disney" origin, as if this defines his identity, and for months you have made fun of us saying that we were claiming something that belongs to Disney as our own. Unfortunately, beyond a doodle and a hint of a hypothetical background, Disney has absolutely nothing. Whatever weight you have attributed to "Jack Savage" is only thanks to our work, Disney has nothing to do with your mania and it has nothing to do with everything we've built up over the years. Still, you took our job and stuck it over the "Disney" label, and that was even when Black Jack was long gone, so don’t use that excuse anymore. You even tried to attribute Cynthia to the Disney universe by calling her "Skye", since you are so desperate to keep your fantasies going, and when you had nothing more to say, you said that my art style was "clearly inspired by Disney". Did you think I could condone such an attitude? I suppose these statements derive above all from the certainly very poor culture that you have of the world outside the fandom (or fandoms), however there are artists who WORKED for Disney, who TEACHED drawing techniques at the Disney Academy and who work at own productions with that style, without anyone attributing anything to the major. If you don't believe me, try using the web for something constructive, like doing some in-depth research on the subject.

As for the matter of our alleged abuses on translators, I will only say two things: the translations started because of my naivety, and we prohibited them because the translators abused their role and went out of control, acting as if the comics belonged to them and / or as if there was a special relationship of complicity between me and them. I'm sorry I gave false hopes to these people, unfortunately I didn't have time to realize the misunderstandings that were being created and how our work was being used. There is a clear difference between the fan content and the original content, so now more than even, less our work passes into the hands of others, the better it is for us.

Now let’s analyzing the brilliant messages of Hammy, both on Tumblr and on reddit:

In both cases, what I see is a desperate need to cling to Rem's "pretty" facade while simultaneously demolishing the person behind Aoimotion. These insinuations suggest that the only possible Rem to conceive for your narrow minds is the kind and lovely one, and everything I say and do that does not fall within this definition is the work of aoimotion.

I will never go into detail about the dynamics between me and her, because frankly it’s not your business and I don’t want to give you further ground to cultivate your absurd speculations and your degenerated ideas. If you have decided to treat us as two two-dimensional characters of some fourth category fan fiction born from your fragile minds and then feel disappointed or offended by my attitude or a severe response I can give you, you cannot help but blame yourself and not who is my friend .

But you have to get it into your heads that when you talk about us in a personal way, you refer only on the basis of two web profiles. You don't know us personally and above all you don't know me. Being an extremely reserved person, I always decided to use social networks to share my artistic side or my interests related to entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. "Rem289" has always been only a blog, a showcase on the web, I’ve never attributed a real emotional and above all personal value to it, even before Zootopia. For the rest I prefer to live my personal life off the web. Unfortunately, you have been so careless as to decide to hit my personal sphere, my friendships and my affections. So no, Aoi didn’t take over between you and me, but the person behind Rem289 took over and you paid the consequences.

Still on the subject of aoimotion, it seems that the moment this comment was written on DA has remained particularly impressed: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/765376682/4647911119

This great insult, which among other things is attributed to her as if I didn’t think the same (if not worse) about you, has become the new reason why aoimotion is ugly and bad and is the reason why she deserves to be insulted and disparaged at the slightest opportunity, even during a conversation with me in which she’s not involved in any way.

Now, since this term seems to me rather dated to be used as a matter of indignation during your debates, and since I still find it rather ”soft” to use to outline my intolerance towards you, in order to give you another thing to think over, I will give you an attribute which seems more correct to me: you are sick. Confronting you is like talking to someone who has been brainwashed. You are a broken record that always says the same things over and over again. I can't even feel sorry for you, what I feel is just a great sense of unease. (Of course there are people that still participate in this fandom and are perfectly normal, but those are exceptions and they already know we think good of them.)

And it’s precisely your illness that prompted me to dissociate myself so violently from the fandom. Not aoimotion, as you have been saying for months between an insult and another that you address to her because perhaps you are too afraid of me to address them directly to me, which is rather contradictory since I should be the sweet and pretty one of the duo. After all, it's better to treat me like a poor brainless fool who lets herself be manipulated rather than admit that I also have my own ideas and that, you don’t say, you don't like them.

Q: In any case, you have no right to deprive your fans of old content they love so much, you just want to be spiteful! Why did all your old WildeHopps comics disappear from the web?

A: The decision to delete the contents created by me relating to the fandom from my web platforms or those shared with my partner was not born in the least out of spite or "punishment" towards the members of the fandom. It was a decision made to dissociate my name and my current work from fandom, because unfortunately it created difficulties for my image and real difficulties for readers to understand (you can go on and say that if people think your work is still Zootopia-related is not a big deal, but I assure you it is). All that came after, are only and exclusively speculations built on purpose to find the most sinister reasons of why it happened. Publishing content is only an accessory part of the job itself, a percentage of the process. Deciding to publish, not publish or cancel a publication is at the pure expense of the author, and no consumer has the right to impose his will on the creator. I understand that they are perhaps too complex concepts for you, since it’s clear that you are used to measuring the value of things based on the likes they receive, but this current of thought also exists and I hope it will be useful to you someday, in the remote possibility that decide to take moments of deep reflection (which would be more and more useful than tapping your fingers on the keyboard).

(Little curiosity: in the last few weeks we have forwarded about twenty reports to various sites to remove our old contents posted there without our permission. Not only all twenty reports have been accepted, but the contents have all been removed in less than 12 hours from the date of reporting. This is to remind you that if we don’t want our content on the web, we have them removed and it’s the reposters who pay for it, not us.)

Q: Well, however you can't force us not to talk badly about you or aoimotion, in fact, you can't stop us from believing that she's been manipulating you for years. Almost certainly it’s she who is writing this post without your knowledge, isn't it?

A: The people of the web are notoriously lazy and are therefore often uninformed and constipated in developing their own concepts. They spit sentences without even knowing what they’re talking about, they choose "comfortable" truths, such as the fact of attributing to aoimotion every not nice word that comes from me, and when this phenomenon is reflected on real persons, unfortunately it’s quite difficult to manage.

We are attributed with labels, words, concepts, faults, relationships that don’t belong to us and that are difficult to get away from. A simple comment or a wrong statement towards a person can spread like wildfire and end up marking them for life. Needless to say, these conditions often prevent these same people from continuing with their activities, which instead are healthy, in a serene and peaceful way. Even now, instead of drawing, I’m writing this latest post to defend me and my partner from your sick slanders. Those who allow themselves the luxury of damaging the "active personalities" of the web are people who fully enjoy anonymity behind a screen, and often people who have the matter of regulating them (like the reddits moderators, who are a joke at best) limit themselves to considering certain behaviors "ordinary” in the creator / consumer relationship. The mere fact of normalizing certain behaviors doesn’t smooth out the rules of civilized life, makes these "authorities" complicit and therefore only adds a problem. It’s more than evident that some people are not yet able to distinguish the boundary that exists between objective opinion and direct and personal insult, but from people who lose sleep at night because they have been defined as “lunatic” I don’t expect anything less. Who knows what you will do now that I have called you sick.

I conclude with a message to the interested party:

@hammytotherescue: I don't know how old you are, however, judging by what you write and how you write it and how you act, I deduce that you should not be more than 14-15 years old. Unfortunately I regret to tell you that the fact you are a minor doesn’t mean that you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions, and if you still have doubts about understanding where you have gone wrong I advise you to ask your parents for advice. I gave you the opportunity to confront me but you ran away to cry on a public platform. Hasn't anyone taught you that real life doesn't work like that? If, on the other hand, you are an adult, I sincerely feel sorry for you, I say this from the bottom of my heart.

I know how comfortable it is to hide behind a group or in this case a fandom to vent one's dislikes towards the individual. This time you and your friends have received the same treatment, you have not caught generic appellations addressed to the fandom but I decided to speak to you personally. My only advice is to use this experience to learn how it behaves on the web, and when you have learned it, you could teach it to all your friends, perhaps starting with @owningsuperset7.

For @ggctuk: I hope you will appreciate my effort in writing this long post, as so the next time you talk about us again, you can use it as a reference to explain how things went 🤗

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 5 years ago

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Summary of RFEF’s Conference about the imminent strike and the rights of Spain’s female players- Part 1

So let me set the scene, it’s the 6th of November 2019, we are in the installations of the Spanish Football Federation in Las Rozas, Madrid. We have just been part of a ceremony celebrating the history of women’s football in Spain under the slogan Somos Por Vosotras (We Are Because of/For You). We cut and we’ve moved to a conference and the mood is suddenly tense and sombre, as if the devil himself was in the room- which he might actually be.

Let me introduce to you the different parties in attendance. Taking up most of the room and sitting at the back (because of course the women may be in the majority and whose lives are being discussed but it’s the men people in suits who hold the power and say) are the players of the Spanish women’s national team, there today on behalf of all of their Primera Iberdrola colleagues. In the front rows we have representatives of the individual clubs and then the three main players, the three who form this love triangle that has got everyone into this mess.

There is the AFE, the trade union that represents all Spanish footballers. They are the ones fighting for the players’ rights, not settling for less and pushing the strike forward (I presume). Then their mortal enemy its in front, RFEF’s stream makes sure to catch him on his phone not paying attention during much of their presentation, the ACFF. They stand for the association for female football clubs, the ones with the interests of the big people in mind, the ones who have given out the TV rights, the group that all clubs are a part of apart from fcb, tacon and athletic de bilbao. And then leading the whole thing is the RFEF, Spain’s Football Federation and governing body for the Sport.

Now the mystery truly commences: which of these parties are telling the truth when they plead their innocence and say how much they’re doing to better women’s football, and which is that reincarnated devil I mentioned at the beginning?

Given that it’s the RFEF who has called the meeting, they take centre stage first. In fact, they’ve decided that to show how on top of things they are they’ve prepared a presentation and everything (10 points for the effort).

They start off by stating how they’ve been shunned and not included in most of the negotiations, they are so grudging that they have all the dates of when they weren’t listened to neatly lined up like a toddler who’s telling his mum all the exact times she hasn’t let him watch TV. Jokes aside though, it quite clearly explains the chronology of how things have gone about evolving up until having reached this point. Even before what’s shown on the screen they proposed certain initiatives to make sure the sport kept developing but the clubs weren’t willing to listen to their ideas as they were told that they could only talk with the ACFF or they wouldn’t go to the committee. Then on the 25th of February the ACFF openend up a bidding for TV licenses that was to last only 9 days. Not only were the RFEF surprised that they were doing this, they also thought that it was too short a time period to do the tender in. So the next day they release a statement saying that the ACFF hasn’t complied with the official regulations on how a club should sell TV rights.

On the 4th of March the National Committee of Female Football (it’s part of the RFEF so i’d just treat it as such) makes public the changes that they wanted to make to improve the status of women’s football in the country: the organisation of the two elite leagues, the set out of the competitions, number of players etc. The two most important points they made were the professionalisation the elite leagues should go about and the establishment of salary levels along with how much money the RFEF was willing to give.

However, the big bad wolf comes along and blows all this wonderful work away only 3 days later when the 9 days for bidding was up and even before midnight the ACFF had announced that TV rights had been given to MediaPro. At this point Rubiales got really stuck on the before midnight part, seems like he didn’t get his Cinderella ending as they announced it at midday rather than at midnight as the official regulations dictate. What’s more, they didn’t actually send out a letter personally telling them about this until the next day(you know a friendship’s breaking when you first hear about gossip from people outside of your group of friends…). So as retaliation the RFEF sends out an angry message to all the clubs who had signed the agreement telling them they were in trouble for not adhering to the assigned rules but not being able to do much more.

So basically the point they were trying to put across with this slide was that they had already offered, before the rights were signed away by the ACFF, certain economic rights and conditions for the players that the RFEF considered very reasonable and better than what is on the table now. More like a ha you should have listened to us (probably rightly so) rather than anything else.

Slide 2, things that happened leading up to this point: Back to the bold man who speaks more to make up for his lack of her (okay that was mean sorry I’ll stop). He talks about how the RFEF offered both AFE and ACFF a tripartite collective agreement where a better salary, betterments for clubs and basic labour conditions were guaranteed. He drew a lot of focus to image rights and from what I understood they don’t actually have rights to their own image at the moment?? only national team players do?? that’s just the icing on the cake for me. And so this is what was offered on the 13th of May, guaranteeing a 18,000 euro salary as a requirement for all teams who want to continue playing in the league if the agreement was signed. But, what a surprise, the other associations didn’t even approach them which lead to the “failure of negotiations” after which point they claim they were completely excluded. Rubiales took the opportunity to practically martyrise himself here saying how it was them who were taken on all the risks by this agreement and it was only the players who would benefit from it.

Now we get into the really technical stuff, because yeah so far it’s been a piece of cake I know, so buckle up. The ACFF, basically the individual clubs, believe they can only take on a salary of 16,000 euros a year at a 50% partiality rate which is basically a fancy way of offering a 8,000 euro salary. The AFE, the trade union, asks for 16,000 at a 75% partiality rate which is 12,000 euros a year and still below the minimum professional salary in Spain

—> just a note here that later on the representative of the AFE said that they are never going to negotiate below the minimum interprofessional wage which is just above 12,000 and neither will the Government’s Ministry of Labour who they have now taken this case to (I know, apparently the government’s involved now too but this is the first I hear about it)

So RFEF come riding in in shining armour with this solution saying that they’re willing to pay the difference between what the ACFF is willing to pay and what the AFE wants the salary to be. They also say that they would increase the minimum number of professional licenses from its current state of 12 to 18. Honestly it’s ludicrous that they haven’t done this before as a club needs 18 players on their squad to compete full stop. So yes, 2,000 euros for 18 players in 16 clubs would amount to 1,152,000 euros that they are willing to invest here so that all players are guaranteed what the union is asking for.

—> again the AFE calls them out later on saying that the real sum of money would be closer to 1.6 million as there are more than 18 players per squad and other contextual factors also need to be taken into consideration.

Final slide (wooo!) of all the factors which must be kept in consideration. The first is what’s going on with TV rights at the moment where many matches can’t be televised. He says that it’s necessary to come to an agreement so that all matches can be streamed by the company that is contracted by the team. They promise to not block any televisations and reiterate the fact about ten times that it wasn’t them who has impede certain matches being shown so far but rather legal issues and petitions by external factors. Did I mention that it isn’t RFEF’s fault? Oh and by the way it’s not because of RFEF that this is happening.

Rights: commercial rights and advertising supports must be a fundamental part of the agreement like they used to be. Apparently back in the day when people didn’t care as much about women’s football and paid little attention to what was going on (aka a year ago) there was a common fund shared between all clubs for image rights. On the 13th May, they proposed a deal giving 2,000 to each player for there rights but, once again, they didn’t come to an agreement.

Compromise: they agree to respect all clubs having their individual affiliations with whichever organisation they have contracts with at the moment. Basically clubs that aren’t with the RFEF at the moment can continue with their current contracts without being penalised by them if an agreement is reached. If it is signed they will guarantee their current rights, however they then gave the ultimatum that after these expire in 3 (from what I gathered) years time then everyone will have to proceed all together to truly get that 18,000 euro salary and 2,000 extra image rights.

And that was about all the waffle I could handle to be honest which, thankfully enough, coincided with the end of his neither first nor last monologue of the day. He wrapped up by saying how he’s pleased to see so many players nodding their heads along in agreement and I did see the likes of Marta Corredera nodding so I guess we can give him some rights if my new futfem hero agreed. He did say something quite formidable though nearing the end stating that the agreement will only work if the clubs stop boycotting matches and respecting the rights Iberdrola has as their main sponsor, he literally said that we won’t invest in you guys if we know they don’t have faith in you. A final positive rounded up his speech hoping that the trade union would now be happy with what they have outlined above, bridging the gap that had formed between the two and that hopefully the clubs will soon release a statement also agreeing to comply with these basic demands. Idealistic? For sure, but worth a shot anyways.

that’s all I have time for tonight guys, if any of you are still around here then I’m very impressed. I might be back for a part 2 if I see enough demand for it, but honestly this just took up a good four hours of my life and I’m glad I did it but I’m now exhausted. So if you did actually find this useful/coherent/interesting then I’ll be more than happy to continue breaking down the rest of the conference, if not I’ll leave it here :)

#here have four hours of my life #very interesting though #i hope you get out of this as much as i got putting this together #i started off funny but the heaviness of the subject matter got to me #so it gets progessively more tedious and legal #sorry about that #rfef #primera iberdrola #espwnt #strike #og #my translation

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msjr0119 · 5 years ago

Text

We Belong

Part 2

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Just using combined tag list if you want to be removed just let me know:

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree-0816 @gardeningourmet @twinkle-320 @queenjilian

Warnings: Swearing, slight smut

*****

Evie woke up the following morning, wondering if her friends were up already. Quickly getting dressed in comfortable gym clothes, she headed downstairs towards the kitchen- even though Drake had offered to make breakfast she felt obliged to do it herself as they were her guests. Coming closer to the door, the aroma from the kitchen smelt delicious. Drake. Shaking her head walking in, her eyes focused straight on to a topless Drake who was making pancakes - enough to feed an army.

“Hey. You do know there’s only five of us right?” Jumping he wasn’t aware of her presence.

“Do you enjoy sneaking up on people? Giving them heart attacks.”

“Well I didn’t expect anyone to be up, it’s still early. This is my home, I’ll finish it off whilst you get dressed. I’m surprised Maxwell isn’t up, he’s usually the walking and talking alarm clock.” Please get a top on Drake, she thought. She had seen all the men topless in the past- but after last night she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“I’m nearly done anyway. I don’t mind. Well, Hana kept him up most of the night- I don’t think we will see either of them for a while.”

“I might have to hire you as a personal chef. Do you want a coffee?” Drake nodded, placing the food on the island he put his shirt back on after noticing Evie every so often glancing at him. He was also glancing at her, the leggings and crop top that she wore hung onto her body flaunting her assets. Sitting next to him, she passed him the coffee- she always remembered that he like it black with two sugars. Tucking into one of the pancakes, she felt like she was a judge on master chef, with him nervously watching every bite she took- waiting for her critic.

“Oh my god. These are delicious Drake!” Licking her lips, she believed that these were better than sex at this moment in time.

“I’m not totally useless you know.” He smirked, whilst taking a sip of the coffee.

“I never said you was. I could live on these- I thought your forte was s’mores?”

“It is, but I can cook Bruley. Just because I’m ‘a sponger’ doesn’t mean that I sit on my arse doing nothing.”

“You’d be sitting on your arse drinking whiskey all day.” Winking at him, she gave him a playful nudge. Standing up, he decided to use the left over pancake batter as a prank.

“Hey, Lina! Watch out!” Evie turned around, as the batter landed on her shoulder.

“Oh no you just didn’t do that! Really Drake? Pass me some.”

“Do you think I’m that stupid to give you some?”

“My house. My rules. Get running Walker!” Drake hid behind the island, with his secret stash. Knowing exactly where he was, she crept towards him ready to aim.

“Gotcha!” Looking smug with herself, he aimed back- the batter landing in her hair and on her cheek. Feeling guilty, he placed the remainder on the island before turning to face her with his hands in the air. “Okay I think you won that.” She said in a defeated manner. Walking towards her closing the distance- he placed a hand across her waist whilst the other caressed her cheek wiping it off her. “Shame I can’t win everything.” I can never win the girl. “But I’ll accept that victory.”

“A good victory at that. You’re sneaky!” Remaining in that position, neither knew what to do. How did the other feel? They had flirted since she had been back, using sarcasm. He kissed her on the forehead the previous night. Running his hands through her loose curls- the batter was sticking to it. I’m sorry about your hair, he whispered in her ear- feeling his hot breath linger around her neck and his hand still around her waist made her feel weak at the knees. Raising his head back up, she cupped his cheeks- both their chests began to rise in unison.

“Guys! You had a food fight without us!” Maxwell exclaimed, feeling left out. Olivia noticed how intermate the two were before Maxwell opened his mouth- noticing them suddenly left go of each other. Knowing that hers and Bastiens plan was beginning to work- slowly but gradually, she tried to hide the occurring smile that was forming on her face.

After the official statement regarding Liam and Riley’s engagement- Olivia noticed Drake sulk away. There were lingering thoughts in the back of her mind that Drake was also in love with Riley. Following him, he headed up to his room- opening the bottle of whiskey to drown his sorrows. He always knew Riley would choose Liam, why wouldn’t she? He was a king. Regretting having their ‘moments in between’ and releasing his true feelings- he believed that alcohol would numb the pain for the time being.

“Hey! Want some company?” Olivia asked, knowing she had better things to do- they weren’t exactly the best of friends but she did care for him even though she would never admit that.

“I’m fine Liv.” Deciding to request for Bastien to come up, she was sure that someone could cover him for five minutes. Bastien was like a father figure to the walker siblings- they both respected him, in Olivia’s mind he would be the only one to get Drake to open up. The two of them sat in silence waiting for Bastien to arrive- once he did Drake shook his head.

“I’ll leave you gentlemen to it.”

“Drake? Son? What’s the matter?”

“Why do I always fuck up Bast?”

“Why? What’s the matter? Is this to do with Lady Riley?” Drake nodded.

“Listen Drake, I know you have feelings towards Lady Riley. But you will find happiness some day.” Not meaning to sound patronising, he just wanted to help Drake realise that Riley isn’t the only woman in the world.

“Why do I always fall for Liam’s girls? This is the second time it’s happened now. I think I need to leave cordonia.” He slowly spoke, slurring towards the end of the sentence. Evangeline? Surely he means her? Noticing Drake drink the whiskey as if it was water- Bastien was concerned for his welfare.

“Who do you mean Drake?”

“Evie. Lina, I think... she’s ... beautiful... I let her go... now I’ve lost Ri. Evie was my first... crush... I’m never going to... (hiccup) be loved... I’m a nobody.”

“What if Lady or should I say Duchess Evangeline was to return?”

“If she did... it doesn’t matter... she sees me ... as a friend only. Thanks for coming Bast but Li will need you.” Bastien tucked Drake into bed- discretely hiding the remainder of the brown liquid, exiting the room Olivia was waiting with her arms folded.

“So? Is he in love with Riley?”

“None of your business Duchess.”

“No sex until you tell me Bastien!” He knew how demanding she could get when she required information/gossip- he also knew that either way the minute he kissed her neck she would give in.

“Yes hes in love with Riley.. but....”

“But?”

“He was also in love with Lady Evangeline. He’s cursing himself for falling for both of Liam’s ‘girls’...” Deciding to ignore Bastien, she got her phone out- dialling the number she hoped the person would answer.

“Liv?”

“Hey Evie! How are you?”

“I’m fine, why are you ringing me? What’s up?”

“Oh Bastien has spoken to Liam, you have to claim the Duchy and live here.”

“I can run it from London, and just attend events.”

“You’ve finished that stupid degree right?”

“Yeah why?”

“Well then what’s stopping you coming back? It would be a shame to let all your parents hard work go to waste. Liam would probably give it to his new fiancée.”

“Like hell he will. That’s my families Duchy...”

“Oh Evie, there’s something else... Dr- ... I’ve missed ya!”

“Missed ya too. I’ll come back ASAP. Love ya ice queen.” Hanging up, she smirked at Bastien who shook his head.

“They will fall into each other arms, I can bet on it. How long are you off duty for?” Bastien believed she was doing this for her friends, but he also knew how Evie wasn’t interested in Liam- would she also break Drakes heart if Olivia had her way with playing match maker.

“Ten minutes Duchess Olivia.”

“That’s long enough... come on, I want to ride you.”

“So are you two fucking yet?” Evie and Drake both blushed at Olivia’s bluntness- both wondering why she would assume this, they were only friends- friends who were slowly flirting with each other.

“Olivia, we are just friends.”

“Oh really Drake?”

“Yes really.”

“That’s not what you told Bastien.” Evie looked between Olivia and Drake- noticing his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard, she was concerned as he became tense his whole persona changed. Before they all walked into the kitchen he was openly flirting with her- they had become close, too close for friends. That close that their lips were practically brushing.

“Olivia, I don’t know what you are talking about. But we are just friends, as we all are.” Evie reiterated what Drake had previously said, noticing him distance himself from her- she was regretting coming back in the first place.

“Oh Evie, you don’t understand do you? Before Riley came along- this whole love triangle was happening when we was teenagers. What was the words you said to Bastien when you was drunk Drake? ‘Evie. Lina, I think... she’s ... beautiful... I let her go’ .... she asked you to escort her into the ballroom, and then you’re both frolicking around the kitchen. Don’t deny that there isn’t any feelings there.” Evie slowly looked towards Drake, her eyes searching his for confirmation of what Olivia had just confessed.

“I was talking about Riley that night, Liv.” Fuck I’m sorry Evie. Olivia witnessed Evie begin to gradually breath heavy as her face fell. About to open her mouth to respond, Evie interrupted Olivia much to the duchesses annoyance.

“See you’ve obviously got the wrong end of the stick Liv, make yourselves at home. I need to shower- get this pancake mixture out of my hair.” They all watched Evie slowly walk out of the kitchen, before snapping their heads into Olivia’s direction.

“What the fuck Liv?”

“I’m trying to help you Drake. You want the girl but are afraid to express your feelings in case you get rejected like you did with Riley.”

“Liv, you don’t know what I want with my life.”

“Olivia leave him alone, I think we all better leave Evie alone before you cause another shitstorm. I’ll go and let her know.” Maxwell suggested trying to clear the air. Knocking on her door, she opened it immediately.

“Hey.”

“Hey Max, I’m just about to get in. Do you need anything?”

“Erm, we are going to head back to palace- get Olivia out of your hair. How do you feel about what she said? Do you want me to knock her out for you?”

“He was on about Riley, why would I feel anything about it? I was just his crush.”

“What?”

“He confessed last night that I was his teenage crush.”

“Yeah, But.... she said he told Bastien ‘Lina’. That’s your nickname for him and only him- we all call you Evie or Evangeline. A drunk mind speaks the truth.”

“Max, we are friends. Now get out of here before I throw something at ya- see ya soon.” Hugging her, he smiled softly- knowing she was hiding her true feelings, he could see straight through her.

*****

A few hours after she had showered, she felt more alone than ever- this didn’t help as her mind was constantly thinking about Drake on a loop. Confused about how his attitude changed in a split second- anger if he was lying about it really being her. Wondering why he wouldn’t tell her the truth if what Olivia said was true. Hearing a knock at the door, she shot up hoping it was Drake- hoping that he had decided to come and talk to her personally without an audience with prying eyes watching them.

“Liam?” What the fuck does he want?

“Hello, Evangeline.”

“May I help you?”

“Can I come in?” Evie opened the door wider allowing the king to enter- regretting leaving the kitchen as if a bomb had hit it.

“What happened in here?” He scrutinised the room, noticing that it was slightly messy. From memory, he believed that Evie was the cleanest out of the whole friendship group- they also used to suggest that she was OCD, so viewing the view in front of him was a slight shock.

“Ohh, me and Drake had a slight food fight this morning. I haven’t had chance to clean up yet.”

“Evie it’s three o’clock. What have you been doing?”

“Would you believe me if I said I have just been thinking- I didn’t realise it was that late.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Regretting coming back here... I should have just given up the Duchy- carried on with my life. When Olivia informed me that you was potentially going to give it to Riley, I panicked- it belonged to my family. Having to see everyone again, seeing Tariq, Liv causing shit as always... you and Riley hating me... why did I even come back?” Liam furrowed his eyebrows, not really knowing what to say or react.

“Evie I only came today to apologise on Riley’s behalf. I was never going to give her your Duchy. It would be yours for as long as you live.”

“What? It would be mine for the rest of my life?”

“Yes. Even if you decided to run it from wherever in the world you wanted to.”

“That bitch!” Did she lie to me to get me back to split Liam and Riley up? Or was it to do with Drake?

“Excuse me?”

“Liam, can you take me back to the palace with you? I need to talk to Olivia and Drake.”

“I can, but Drake didn’t come back.”

“What? Where is he?”

“His cabin. I can come with you if you’d like?”

“No it’s fine, I’ll drive myself. Apology accepted Li. I’ll see ya soon. I’m sure Riley needs you.”

“Okay, if you need anything let me know.” Kissing her on the cheek, he paused to look at her. Leaning closer, his hot breath lingered against her lips as his forehead touched hers. “I’m here for you Evie. Always.” Before Evie could react, he quickly kissed her on the lips. before leaving to return to the palace.

****

Evie surprisingly remembered the way to the Walkers cabin, it had been nearly a decade since she had last been. During the drive, she had considered turning around- not really knowing why she insisted on seeing him. Turning the engine off, it was as beautiful as she remembered- ambling towards the door, she took a deep breath knowing she was most likely going to be stuttering.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question...”

“I couldn’t return with Olivia, I hate her. I hate her interfering.”

“Even though she’s my best friend, I think I hate her too- she lied to me, a lie that lured me back here. She rung me out of the blue one night, insisting that I had to return because of what I realise now was total bullshit. What she said... was it true? You’re the only one to call me Lina, Bastien wasn’t aware of that nickname as far as I was aware unless you told him.” Seeing his Adam’s apple Bob up and down again, he reached the back of his neck- rubbing it slowly, focusing his gaze towards the floor.

“I... I’m so sorry Bruley.”

“Sorry?” Evie questioned, it didn’t explain if the girl in Olivia’s confession was her or Riley.

“I’m just sorry.” Feeling frustrated she knew she wasn’t going to get a straight answer from him. Shaking her head, she decided to walk away- it was a wasted journey. As she took a step forward, she turned around wrapping her arms around his neck- forcing her lips on to his. Drake felt as if the world had melted away- like with his first kiss with Riley this was one of his fantasies that had become reality. This unexpected gesture made him feel hesitant at first until their kiss became more passionate- their tongues battling against each other. In this moment, their senses have been seduced- making them both not able to think straight. “Evangeline” he whispered slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them- looking at him shocked she had never heard him call her by her Sunday name. Her heart began fluttering at his voice as he cupped his hands on to either side of her cheek. Leaning in for one last peck, she broke away- both of them staring at each other as if it was a silent argument. “I’m so sorry too Drake.” Running to her car, she drove away- hoping he wouldn’t follow her.

#trr #trr choices #trr fanfic #trr we belong #drake x mc #drake x evie #liam x mc #liam x evie #maxwell beaumont #olivia nevrakis #trr bastien #hana lee

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famedroleplayarchive · 4 years ago

Note

there's a serious problem with lack of dash activity and plotting here. and even though you don't really take advice on how to improve the group or adding groups(unless its specifically something /youre/ asking of the group), the unwillingness to change much of anything besides "model groups" instead of making interesting changes like opening trainee slots, potential duos, bands, and staff positions, fun hinting at group debuts, or even a revamp of the blog with new features is discouraging.

Hi! As a policy, it’s much easier for me to address concerns off-anon, but I do want to start off by saying that I’m always open to taking suggestions for what people want to see! I address that and the bulk of your message more fully under the cut, but I wanted to touch on your dash and plotting concerns first above the cut since I wanted to give members a little reminder, too.

If you’re having problems with or concerns about any specific members, please come to me off-anon and I will speak to them. I can’t ever fully know what’s going on with plotting since that almost exclusively happens over messages, which I have no access to. If your writing partners have been slow to reply lately, we’ve got mini-events with the Base blog along with future full-group events and tasks that will be ramping up that will provide more to write about, as the dash does slow down when we don’t have any real events or tasks going on.

I definitely hear your concern, though, so, members, please make sure you’re putting in the effort to write and plot with those who express interest in doing so with you, and don’t be afraid to reach out to others if you feel your plots are currently lacking! Life can make people slow (myself included right now, especially when it comes to responding to plotting messages and, to a lesser extent, messages on the main), but make sure to follow up when you do get the chance, and it never hurts to let someone know that you’ve got a lot going on right now, so maybe going with the flow on a starter or doing a text thread (though, reminder: those don’t count for activity) would be better for the time being.

Likewise, members, if you ever have concerns about feeling excluded by anyone, please message me off-anon and I will do what I can to try to help you out! Your comfort is of utmost important to me.

Now, I’d like to address the latter part of your message, since it concerns me that I may have given off any kind of impression that I’m not open to suggestions or advice.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I am always open to hearing out suggestions and advice! A lot of updates that have been added recently are at the suggestion of members. Almost all of the claims that have been added to the points shop recently were specific requests by members, as well as several past rule updates and general changes to how the group is run. The biggest addition we’ve had to the group in a while was the addition of the Base blog and the events that will come from it (and the full scope of possibilities I want to incorporate through that has yet to be shown!) was an idea I’d had since the beginning of the roleplay in some sense, but was largely shaped by suggestions and requests from members past and present and those who submitted what they wanted to see anonymously.

Generally, as a rule, I don’t publicly reply to suggestions for the group that come in since it can be hard to make an official statement on any plans I have for incorporating them before I’ve entirely thought it through and figured the best way, time, and method to implement a suggestion. I keep all anonymous suggestions I receive, so that I can keep them in mind and come back to them later. Messages do get eaten, though, so if you want to be one hundred percent sure I got something, please message me the suggestion off-anon and let me know you’d like to know I got it!

I do understand that the few times I have replied to anonymous suggestions publicly, it’s more often than not been to say that something won’t be able to be implemented (or that, if it will, it’s a ways off), but I only do that when a request or suggestion has been made multiple times and I’ve thought it through enough that I really don’t see it working within the confines of the group so that members aren’t holding on for something that I won’t be able to make happen for them. This includes what you’ve mentioned about opening the roleplay up for trainees, staff, or bands, because those are simply not roles that would work within the mechanics of the roleplay and its concept since everything (events, claims, points) is based around the specific lives and careers of debuted idols. Muses outside of that would naturally feel left out unless I were to do a major overhaul of the group’s core. I know idol roleplays with those types of open roles have been done before and are probably being done out there right now, though, so I do hope you can find a place to write your trainee, staff, or band muse if that’s what you really want to write out! Unfortunately, the specific sub-set of the idol roleplay genre that I’ve chosen for Famed to exist within doesn’t easily accommodate the types of roles outside of those that already exist within it. As for duos, I had suggestions brought to me about people wanting to see more sub-unit and canon collaboration opportunities and I’m doing my best to make that happen through all of the recent sub-unit debuts and the COLLA3ORATE event through the Base blog, and beyond that, music collaborations, dramas, variety shows, etc. are always available as a claim for two muses to work and/or promote together if they want to!

No group debuts have been hinted at recently because there’s none immediately planned anymore. I had a boy group I wanted to debut this summer, but it’s more important to me that existing muses have group mates to write with before I bring in new spots, so nothing is planned to happen there with that new boy group debut until next calendar year at earliest. We’ve had at least one new group or soloist debut every year since the roleplay opened (Femme Fatale in 2017; Lucid and Dimensions Soloist 2 in 2018; BC Soloist 1 in 2019; Dimensions Soloist 3 in 2020) and new debuts are something I’d like to keep up for as long as it’s reasonable.

I’m not able to accommodate what every single request, suggestion, and desire everyone has for the roleplay because not everything will fit into the roleplay realistically and logistically, but I promise I have never refused to make a suggestion happen out of sheer stubbornness or refusal to be open to others’ ideas!

In my view, my role as an admin is to keep the roleplay running and offer updates, changes, plot drops, story lines, etc. to encourage muse for writing among muns, but I am also very aware of roleplay as a collaborative art — meaning, as an admin, I also want to work with members to help craft a community unique to the members we have had and do have that wouldn’t exist in the form it does without their creativity and ideas. That’s why I will sometimes put out surveys for opinions and feedback like you mentioned. I never want to make members feel burdened by those, as they are always completely optional, and are intended to help me, as a solo admin, get a broader view on suggestions that have been brought to me to see if it’s something more widely desired. Other times, yes, they do involve concerns and ideas of my own, but I have no desire to put the burden of admin-ing on members’ shoulders and I sincerely apologize if it ever feels like that’s what I’m doing by putting out opinion and feedback surveys. I do often make decisions without surveys, but when it’s something that I’m not fully set on doing or not doing, I like to know if it’s something that will make members happy since, once again, I really do want the roleplay to be shaped in part by what brings members muse instead of forcing things that might suck inspiration out of the roleplay when that’s the opposite of my intention. If I’m asking for member opinions, that is always completely optional and if you don’t want to answer, you should never feel you have to! If the requests for opinions and feedback don’t match what you want to give, then you are encouraged to message me anyway with your own!

I do want to reiterate again since I am very saddened to hear I may have come off contrarily: I love receiving ideas for the roleplay from members. I do not regularly reply to anonymous suggestions so that I can keep them in the inbox to come back to, but I am happy to read them and consider them. I was actually thinking very recently about how I might want to open a separate ask box or open submission form for suggestions to encourage members to send their thoughts in when they have them, but we have quite a few blogs already, so I didn’t know if that would be wanted.

I’m one person and while I try my best to try to come up with new ideas and ways to keep the group exciting without being overwhelming, I’m under no illusion that there aren’t people out there with ideas I never would have thought of that are better than anything I could come up with on my own and it excites me when I get messages with new ideas for the group, even when I’m not able to implement them, because people making suggestions means they’re excited about the group and/or they have enough investment to want to see something and that means the world to me!

As for a revamp of the blog with new features, I’m not confident I know exactly what you’re referring to there, but if you mean a revamp for a new look, I know we’ve had the same graphics and themes on our blogs for a while as it hasn’t been a priority for me to change those with everything else I’ve had going on, but any suggestions you might have for functional features you want to see on any of our blogs would be great to hear! I’ve been working behind the scenes on creating a timeline of major canon career events (tours, first award wins, foreign debuts, that kind of thing) for each of the groups, sub-units, and canon soloists, so I hope to have those added to the new page layouts some time within the next few months, but other new features on the main, Exclusive blog, Base blog, and company blogs are more in their infancy, so any suggestions there would be lovely to hear!

#Anonymous

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derrickdent · 6 years ago

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BBHMM, OR HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DEADBEAT CLIENT

You’re a fucking freelancin’ badass, with a semi-steady flow of work, and you’re living the dream of doing **insert best/fave thing here** , and getting the money from your biggest fans. Can’t be better, right? Well, one of things you were probably not informed about is what happens when the dream sometimes becomes a financial nightmare. 30 day waits for payment. Invoices and reminders. Anxiety waiting for that check. Clients that don’t seem to care that you’re eating peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while your payday is delayed in a death spiral of perpetuity. Getting stiffed sucks, and you gotta keep the lights on. How can you keep this bullshit at a minimum? I’m not a financial expert, but I’ve eaten a fair amount of shit trying to get money from clients that have a sense of urgency about everything except paying me. There’s a ton of info about this online, but hopefully my lewd voice in the choir is helpful. (Samuel L. Jackson voice) LET’S GET YOU YOUR MONEY, MUTHAFUCKA. FROM THE BEGINNING

Make sure that you get everything down in writing. Have a statement of work or a contract that states your scope of work, your fee, deadlines, usage restrictions, deliverables, and any notes about late fees, payment timetables, and billable expenses. (Example of a statement of work).

Make sure that a client knows that you can’t begin work without acknowledging these terms. They should return a signed copy of this document, or acknowledge its terms via email. Sometimes there’s a rush situation and you may be pressured to dive in. It’s still a clients responsibility to make sure everything is taken care of on paper, to protect you and to ensure that they are also in the best position to get the best from you.

If they “politely” ignore the contract, then reiterate the terms in a follow up email, with a polite call to action (ex: “Hi! I’m just making sure that we’re on the same page about what the scope of this project is all about. I going to be [**rates, usage, time, deliverables, expected expenses, payment expectations here**]. Is that correct?). It’s important to get this down on the front end. Depending on your state, this counts as a legally binding statement.

NOTE: Try to get an upfront deposit if you can. 30-50% is normal, and this is also a test of whether the client will be good for it after all is said and done. This is also an incentive to put your best foot forward. Some clients will balk at this, but if the early “what is your rate?” convo suggests this is a possibility, go for it. This also depends on the industry. This is almost impossible with editorial, and though I’ve heard mixed stories in publishing, it’s hard to get an advance or deposit unless you’re doing a full book. Large corporations often have a convoluted accounts payable system that pretty much guarantees money will be slower than human evolution. The best results I’ve had are with small, dynamic businesses and individual clients. Once they confirm the terms, then you can begin scheduling and first steps in a project. FAST FORWARD TO PROJECT COMPLETION

INVOICE IMMEDIATELY. Seriously. Do NOT delay this. Most clients are not going to remind you to send one after you’ve finished a project, and you are ultimately responsible for this. (example invoice). Include the basics: your business name your contact info and address the client’s info and address an invoice number total due

Don’t forget an invoice number- accounts payable folks have a hard time placing your invoice in their system without one, and you don’t want to delay things because of a technicality. You can use a simple numbering convention: I use my initials and a double digit combo (ex: DD01). Also, if you haven’t gotten an EIN, get one from the IRS. WHEN YOU APPLY, ONLY GO TO THE .GOV IRS LINK. SCAMS ARE A-PLENTY AND I WANT YOU TO AVOID TEARS THO. An EIN is great, because it can be very compromising to keep putting your SSN out there, and in some cases an EIN can get you paid faster. You should itemize your work in the invoice, similarly to how you would find items on a receipt (ex: 1- Illustration for “client and application”, **brief description** = $THIS AMOUNT.00) Write amounts in dollars and cents. Instead of “$3000”, write “$3000.00”. Again, this helps your client or client’s accountants process your payment a touch faster, and saved time counts. Include a line with a total of your billable expenses. These are items that you HAD TO purchase to finish your work. Make sure you keep your receipts, and make a PDF slideshow with scans of those items for transparency’s sake. Send that PDF with your invoice. Finally, include a line that is the grand total of EVERYTHING. Put that total in BOLD PRINT just to make sure that it’s clear what the client owes. If necessary, you can include direct deposit info. This includes your routing and account number. This way, you give the client another way to pay you, and you can fight off the delay of waiting for a paper check. Even though it’s assumed in many places, make it clear that payment is due NOW. From the moment you send the final invoice out, the onus is on the client to pay up. They should confirm receipt of this, but if they’re slow after a day or two, give them a quick email reminder. NOTE: If you have a client’s phone number, keep it handy. This will come in handy later. FAST FORWARD TO A FEW WEEKS LATER AND YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PAID YET

Either way, you’re waiting (and hopefully pursuing other work!) for money that you need. The timeframe for a reminder varies. Some people will drop a friendly note after 15 days. I tend to be a bit generous, and will wait until 10 days before the invoice is late. The email is friendly, and assumes good faith. Something like: “Hi! I just wanted to touch base about the payment for this invoice. Is there any progress on this? Is there anything I can do to assist with this? Please note that you will be 30 days late on (date here). If so, then a (late fee percentage) will be added to the final amount due.” The key is to emphasize some kind of fiscal penalty. People don’t like to spend more money, so you’ll, at the very least, get a response to let you know that things are being processed. You may also get redirected to an accounting department. If you get a number or an email to them, HOLD ON TO THIS INFO. Hopefully, at this point, the client gets the push to make good on payment. FAST FORWARD TO 30 DAYS AND NO PAYMENT

At this point, you are apprehensive because no one wants to wait to be able to pay bills, eat pizza, and enjoy their own Netflix account. The dynamic changes now, because this is the day that the client has to pay you before it’s late. Tomorrow is late. In some states, you have legal recourse to pursue payment (In NYC, the default timetable for freelance payment is 30 days). You should email your client reminding them that payment is due today. If you have their number, call them as well to reinforce this message, but emails are important now. Each email you send is a recorded effort to receive payment, and they are timestamped for posterity. Note that a client may have already sent a payment out, but the check is transit. Also, calling/emailing an accounts payable department will reveal that a payment has been made and it will be in your bank account in a few business days. Get confirmation of this before you continue. AFTER THE INVOICE IS 30 DAYS LATE

Clients need the benefit of the doubt, but it’s their responsibility to pay you now. After 30 days, you have “permission” to increase the frequency of your correspondence. During the first 10 days of being late, I will email and call every other business day (Monday, Wednesday, Friday was my model, but it may differ for you). Afterwards, I will check in once a day. This may seem excessive, but persistence goes a long way. You may get an exasperated response, but don’t stop until you get a confirmation of payment or a layout and timeline of the payment. If you have a contact within a company, use them as your ally within an organization. It’s easier to get things moving with someone on the inside, and pressure on them will translate to pressure elsewhere to get you to stop asking for your money. Be professional, but direct. They owe you, and any further delay will result in additional fees, and possible collection action (including legal action to collect). If you have a number for accounts payable, hammer them hard. They will be probably be your last line of communication, and you’ll need to get an email to reach them again, an employee name to refer to, and a timeline for payment.

SIDEBAR>>> NYC CREATIVE PROS AND THE FIFA ACT

If you live in NYC, you have an additional resource: the city government. The NYC Department of Consumer Affairs (DCA), and The Office of Labor Policy and Standards (OLPS) have a complaint form that you should fill out as soon as the client is over 30 days late. The Freelance Isn’t Free Act (FIFA, passed in 2017) is very clear that what your client is doing is ILLEGAL, and the city will assist you in gathering materials to make a case for nonpayment. Fill the complaint form out, be very specific about your client and any related contacts. Note, they are not legal representation as much as they’re navigators who will help you find legal counsel and resources needed to file a claim in court. Remember when I said to get everything in writing? That’s important. It may be a bit of work, but find every email thread related to your freelance gig. If you’re doing this on your mobile, open the thread. Go to the first message. Find where the “print” option is. You’ll be taken to a preview window. Look for the “download” button. This is really easy with Gmail. You can basically save the entire thread as an organized PDF, with messages in chronological order

Do this with every gig-related email attached to the overdue payment. Save these PDFs to a folder. Create sub folders that can put this correspondence in context, like chapters (ex: one folder is “Beginning of Job”, another “Job in Progress”, another “Invoice/Payment Requests”). This will make it easier to navigate everything. Include the PDF folder (zipped) with your complaint folder. OLPS will take a sec to get back to you, since you’re not the only person in NYC that gets stiffed. After about 5 biz days, give them a call. This can help you get ahead of the pack. You will receive a call from an OLPS office case manager who will confirm your info. They will ask if you’ve been paid. If yes, then you can thank them and call everything off. If not, they will send a certified letter (WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS LETTERHEAD) to your client, reminding them that they’re late. They have 20 days to respond to this- if they don’t, then they will basically be on the hook to go to court for a nonpayment case. You’ll have to either get a lawyer to rep you, or you can rep yourself, but the client is on the hook to prove they don’t owe you. Since you already have a record of your interactions, this will be very difficult for them. It should be noted that clients tend to get reallll antsy when the government says that they owe money. They’ll probably contact you directly. Keep up with these responses. Each email builds out the timeline of your case, and is fodder for the cannon. At this point, they usually pay up. DISCLOSURE: I’ve never had to go to court, so you may need to look elsewhere for advice. This may be a good place to start. SPEAKING OF DOCUMENTATION- I forgot to add that you should record your calls when speaking to clients that are late. ACR is a free app that allows you to record your calls. Make sure recording is legal in your state, and always let clients know that the call is being recorded. You can borrow the “for quality control purposes” line if you’d like. Sometimes people will try to circumvent documentation by using the phone. Don’t let them weasel out of that. LASTLY, this is specifically related to NY. The parts about documenting your correspondence are universal, though. Wherever you are, a vital part of making a civil case is piling on the material against a deadbeat. Be vigilant and persistent. I would suggest looking into whether there is a state govt. entity that you can go to about civil cases, and also look up if there are any local volunteer/low cost lawyers in your area.

The FIFA Act has been a gamechanger in giving freelancers more power to get what is owed to them, and my hope is that other cities follow suit, or organize to get similar legislation for this purpose. SIDEBAR AGAIN>>> LAWYERS

Another way to get a client to pay up faster is to lawyer up earlier. After 30 days, you should see what your options are. If you can afford it, you can consult with a lawyer and get a pro opinion about your case. They may be able to send a stern letter to your deadbeat client (WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS LETTERHEAD) prompting them to pay or else. Like with a government agency, people don’t like surprises from legal. They will probably pay up quick, but if they stick it out, then you can file a claim and take them to civil court. This will be costly for you and your client, so nonpayment usually gets resolved before this happens. If not, know that if a court rules in your favor, the client will have to pay you and cover your legal fees. My experience with lawyers is limited, and I would suggest looking elsewhere for particulars. Also, keep in mind how much you’re owed. A $300 case may not be worth as much squeeze as a $3000 or $30000 one. If it’s a low ball sum you’re owed. You may have an easier time calling it a loss and moving on.

EDIT: I’ve been told that contingency fee lawyers are out there that don’t collect fees until after an event (like you winning or losing a judgment for example), but they’re kinda like unicorns for freelancers and tend to take on bigger cases. It doesn’t hurt to see if any are out there anyway!

NEW!>>> COLLECTION AGENCIES

So, you may want to seek help through a collection agency. They have the time and resources to call, mail, and chase money when you’re trying to focus on good clients that pay on time and are depending on your A game.

The good news is that most are contingency fee based. That is, they won’t collect anything from you until they get the money from your client.

The down side? They can take anywhere between 18-40% of what your client’s debt is. Note that I didn’t say WHAT THEY COLLECT. If your client owes $100, and the contingency based fee is $30, an agency will take $30 even if they only get $60.

Also, based on a lawyer friend’s input, if your collection agency is legally shady, you may be indirectly on the line if your deadbeat client decides to sue said agency. Also your payment, connected to the collection agency and your client’s legal battle, will be held in indefinite limbo.

So do your homework and weigh your options before taking this route.

FAST FORWARD TO 60 DAYS Fortunately, I haven’t had to do this, but you can start pursuing legal action to get your money. Check on state laws to make sure this is the case, as well as the particulars about filing a claim. By this time, you should hopefully have a lawyer or some legal counsel at your disposal. If you don’t, then look up the laws of your state and local area to see where you stand if you have to rep yourself. Remember that as long as you have written acknowledgment of your terms of work and written acknowledgment of your invoice, things should lean in your favor. THE END

HOPEFULLY this has been helpful. The best parts of freelance (independence, flexibility, control, and self-prescribed wages) are often at odds with the pitfalls (feast-or-famine dynamics, wearing of all of the hats, taking all of the risks). It can feel like robbery when you put your blood, sweat, and tears into a project only to have an empty bank account as thanks. Some of this info is boilerplate, and some is from direct experience. If any of this relates to you, and you were able to get closer to your hard earned scrill because of this, I can die happy(er).

GOD SPEED AND GET PAID, GODDAMMIT!

ADDENDUM: One of the things that I didn’t emphasize enough is that doing this will be emotionally draining. Unless you are a robot or a stone cold Type A business beast, it will strain you. Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself mentally.

If you have a partner or family, make sure to take the help and support they provide and don’t turn your money issues into a personal issue with them.

Also, doing this requires energy. It will feel like a part time job, and even if there are late fees that factor into what you get paid, this will largely be unpaid labor.

Persistence is key, but I’m not going to pretend that it’s not hard or that you won’t have other obligations that make keeping up the effort difficult. I’m lucky in that my girlfriend and I have a relatively low-expense lifestyle, and no dependents, and we’re both fairly flexible because we both freelance full time, and that we had a bit of financial padding saved to weather the storm. Mileage will certainly vary.

Edit: Tumblr is weird about making links visible, so I put them in bold body font for you to find them easier.

#Illustration #invoices #payment #business #deadbeats

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