#also I likely won't write something like this for the other episodes
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Random Thoughts about The Heart Killers (EP 1 – 6) : An interesting Rom-Com with morally grey characters.
The long awaited post I've wanted to make, but always failed to do properly. Since we are not getting an episode today (which is a damn crime because the wait is killing me!), I've decided to feed my poor soul with some writing about the series. I won't add anything that haven't already been said on here, so I won't feel sad if you don't pay attention to this post. It's just me screaming in the void of internet to try thinking about something else. I knew I would like this series (I like the actors, the directors, the plot… everything has been set according to my own taste), but I try to reason with me. You shouldn't put too many expectations on a series, otherwise you're at a risk of being disappointed. I also give better advice that I never really follow, so yes I had expectations and until now they have been fulfilled. I would be lying if I didn't say that at one point or another I was really annoyed by the characters' actions. I tend to forget that the series is 12 episodes and I'm looking forward to seeing the sweet scenes between the main couples (real ones with no lying). I was promised a rom-com, so don't be mad at me for being a little fool here. I'm a bit impatient as you can see. However, I know that I shouldn't react in the heat of the moment so I waited until now to write something about The Heart Killers.
Usually, in a rom-com you get characters that are archetypes usually found in this type of story. In the Heart Killers, most of the characters are neither good neither totally evil (except maybe Mother, but she may also have a good side, who knows). All characters have their strengths and weaknesses and they may appear on different sides, but they all have a strong, justifiable reason for doing what they are doing. I've making this grid for a while now. I may have forgotten some information, but it's just my own perception of the series so far. Things may change in the coming episodes.
So why was I annoyed by the characters at one point or another? I guess one part of the reason is that I forgot the structure of a rom-com because of the unique setting the screenwriters and the director put our main characters in. Any rom-com follows a certain structure in three times I would say.
• The first part is the presentation of the setting, the characters and their unfulfilled needs.
• The second part is when you have the meet-cute (or not so cute) between the characters. It is followed by the honeymoon stage until obstacles arise at the midpoint and the relationship is in jeopardy (that's where we are right now in the story). Usually, it's when the couple break up or start to have doubts.
• The third and final part is the moment of realization where the characters can view themselves outside the relationship and decide what are their new desire and goals. It leads everyone to the final of the story that usually ends on a happy note or at least give the viewers some hope for the characters if they don't end up together (my personal choice would be a happy ending for everyone, but I like to be surprised).
We've seen the first part already and have moved on the second part. I believe in the Heart Killers the break-up part could be different. Will the characters really break-up now that they think they have understood the needs of the others?! I don't think so. I believe they are all going to pretend to be together to try to outmatch the other ones and to learn the truth. They believe they are in opposite sides, but the truth is their main enemy who is working against their desire/happy ending remains Mother and to a lesser extent Keen (until Mother works against him and he may become an ally to the main leads). We could probably add the Captain too.
So, even knowing that, the question remains: why was I annoyed by the characters, despite loving everything else?! It's because I viewed them through my own sets of value while forgetting who they are and the setting of the series. To be fair, I'm used to rom-com characters who usually are not morally wrong. Here, in this story, none of them is really right or wrong. After all, they are on different standpoints and the perspectives they can reach are not the same. They represent different sides with different views (sorry I'm rambling here). I would say, Style may be the only characters who didn't have a criminal past and his worst fault is that he didn't flirt (at first) with Fadel for love, but for greed to possess Kant's car. The other characters, Kant, Bison and Fadel, all are or were a criminal at one point. Does it mean that criminals can't fall in love because what they are doing is morally wrong? The story doesn't agree with this point, as all of them were dragged to this because of something external. Kant needed money to take care of his brothers and Fadel and Bison were forced into this line of work by their “guardian” Mother who pretends to make them go after other “criminals” because the justice system isn't doing the right wrong. In some way, she isn't wrong, as the only “justice” figure we meet in the story is Captain Christ. He isn't a nice guy too as he is threatening Kant to force him to do his work in exchange for freedom from his past.
The idea of writing morally grey characters is interesting as it maintain the suspense, both in the relationship between the main leads, but also in the core structure of the story. The characters had needs at the beginning of the story, but their desire slowly changed by interacting with their lovers and other characters. It is also good for viewers as they have the opportunity to prefer one side over the other one. I changed my mind a lot during those six episodes. I was feeling terribly sorry for Bison when I saw Kant's playing with his heart, but in the last two episodes, I understood how hard it must be for him to keep pretending while also falling in love, despite knowing the truth. I was amused by Style's aggressive flirting with Fadel, but also felt annoyed on behalf of Fadel as I noticed how his "secret life" was putting a toll on his mental health. Choosing to have morally grey characters work better with the setting of the story. Otherwise, who would root for hitmen to fall in love? The fact we care so much about the actions of the main characters and what impact it will have on their romantic relationship, confuse us and make us anticipate the next move they may make. It also allows the true villains of the story to actively continue working against our main leads' happiness. The ones who really gain from the new feud between the main couples are the Captain and Mother. They may believe they are in their rights, but they use the main characters as chest pieces, without regard for the toll it can have on their well-being.
Mother is using the maternal figure she has set to control Fadel and Bison's action. She is pretending to care about them. She willfully taught them how to be hitmen to supposedly kill other criminals. The reason may appears good, but the actions are not valid. You can't Pay Evil unto Evil. She pushed our characters in this place by using the death of their parents as an example of failed justice. She knows much buttons to push to keep them in the place she wants them to be. Mother pretends to understand that they are tired of being hitmen and that this job will be the last one, but will it really be the last one? She also purposely and actively works against their happiness, by keeping them lonely. Bison and Fadel may think they are in controls, but the viewers can see, they don't really have a say in their actions or life. They never settled before and they don't really know how to. They find a different way to cope with this, but deep down they are still prisoners of what Mother has made of their life. As for Kant, he is also being controlled by the Captain who knows about his desire to protect and care about his younger brother. He uses his criminal past to make him an informant. Unlike Mother who pretends to act as a true mother to the brothers, he doesn't lie about his real view of Kant. However, just like her, he knows much buttons to push to keep Kant working for him.
As for me now, I can’t wait for Bison, Kant, Fadel and Style to overcome the lying part and the feeling of betrayal they will have regarding their relationship, so they can all be on the same side and fight against their real enemies.
#bl series#bl drama#thai series#thai bl#my thoughts#random thoughts#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#episode 1 to 6#It took a while to write this post but I'm happy now#thanks again to all the gif creators you made this post even better with your beautiful creations#could be a perfectible post but I did my best#A bit sad we didn't get an episode today but I tried to comfort me with this post#fadelstyle#kantbison
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RWBY Volume 9 Ep 1 - A Place of Particular Concern
I wanted to make this post before episode 2, but oh well - in my defense, I was sick. (I also haven’t watched episode 2 yet, so for me it still is “before”.)
I’ll try to be brief as well and just write down the stuff I really want to say. Don’t know if I’ll make a post like this for every episode either, depends on whether I’ll feel up for it. (Likely not, but I wanted to do it this time.)
- First things first: Aaah, RWBY is finally back! For me this is actually a first-time experience too, since I didn’t get into RWBY until Volume 8 was already almost over. (If I remember right the last few eps of Vol 8 were the first ones I actually watched “live” (or well, with a week’s delay)).
- As a whole, I’m a lot more relaxed about Volume 9 than I was about late Volume 8 (or than I am about Volume 10). Because we’re taking this detour in the Ever After (a good choice imo, since RWBY has so many characters by now that it can get a bit overwhelming), and the only named characters here are Team RWBY, Jaune, and Neo, I don’t have as much to get anxious about. My only faves here who could get hurt are Team RWBY, and since they’re the main characters I think they’ll be fine. My other faves are either not in the void (Cinder, Salem, Ilia) or already dead (Penny... don’t touch me I’m still not over it), so I think this volume is going to be comparatively easy on my nerves (now watch me eat my words as Team RWBY goes through hell...). (My little sisters’ faves are Jaune and Neo respectively, so I’ll see how they like this volume...)
- I wonder who the mysterious narrator in the beginning is. Well, we’ll find out. (But the last time we had a “mysterious narrator” she turned out to be very important, so...)
- Love how it wastes no time throwing us back into the Vol 8 ending from Ruby’s POV.
- Who’s voice is that calling “Ruby!” when she wakes up at the beach? Is that still Penny? Sounds more like Yang to me, but I’m really not sure.
- The two suns made me think of Star Wars.
- I love Little. (And I also like that Ruby being kind to a little mouse even while she’s going through a lot herself is what ends up freeing Weiss and Blake from the mice. Kindness is good and all that.)
- Interesting to know that cartoons exist on Remnant. Makes sense, though, they have TVs and all after all...
- Bit sad we didn’t get to see Weiss and Blake’s reunion. Also, is this the first time they’ve said the name “Gambol Shroud” out loud in the show?
- The way Weiss tells Blake “I’m really glad you’re okay”... Yeah, until just now she thought all of her teammates were dead. And she’s clearly still processing that Penny’s dead for real.
- Weiss cheering Blake on when she’s trying to get her weapon is adorable.
- Love how Ruby nudges her shoulder to wake Little up.
- “I can be your trusty guide” -> cut to them falling asleep. I love Little.
- “I don’t know if anyone else fell, no.” Oh, I just remembered again that none of Team RWBY know that Jaune is down here, too. They won’t look for him because they don’t know he’s here. And they might not run into him, either. So, what if they just straight up don’t meet him? I’ve even seen theories they might leave the Ever After without him since they don’t know... oh boy, I think something interesting is definitely in store for Jaune this volume.
- The Jabberwalker is terrifying and we definitely haven’t seen the last of them.
- That moment when Ruby wants to join the fight but the realizes she doesn’t have Crescent Rose anymore... yeah, based on the intro as well, I wonder if it’ll maybe take a while - maybe even the whole volume? - until Ruby gets Crescent Rose back.
- “I said I wasn’t done with you yet!” Oh... shout out to Barbara for how she voiced this line. Also, I’ve said it before: Yang is so badass. Thinks she’s dead, only has one arm, still goes afte the Jabberwalker.
- “Dammit! You weren’t supposed to be here!” The way her voice breaks here, oh gosh... Yang just wanted to protect Ruby, she was ready to sacrifice herself for Ruby, and to see now that it didn’t work as Ruby and the others still fell... let me give Yang a hug. (They might also have to talk about those self-sacrificial tendencies, because while I get the “protective big sister instinct” - you’re important too, Yang.)
- “If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must have forgotten who raised me.” When I first heard this line, I thought Ruby meant Tai (and Summer) by this, but then I saw people say that she meant that Yang raised her and gosh... that’s both even sweeter and even more heartbreaking. (But also, Ruby... you didn’t actually “come for” Yang, you though she was dead and then you all fell into the void by accident. Not saying you wouldn’t have come for her if you’d known, but that’s not quite what happened.)
- I’ll be squeeling about that Bumbleby tackle-hug for the next few weeks, thanks for asking. The way Blake says “Yang” so softly, the way Yang touches her head and smiles... it’s perfect. Everything I wanted for their reunion and more.
(Also, I don’t want to get into negativity too much here, but it’s astounding how I’ve already seen the dumbest discourse ever over this scene. “Yang should have hugged Ruby instead; why would she care about someone more than her sister?” and similarly braindead takes... like WTF? Yang and Ruby literally had a really sweet sisterly moment right before this. Yang and Ruby have hugged before. Like, what kind of a braindead take is this? Are people who have siblings not allowed to also have significant others or other people they love and care about? Honestly, it’s just straight-up homophobia, let’s call it what it is. If this hug had happend between, say... Ren and Nora, after one of them thought the other was dead, literally no one would be grasping at straws to find something to complain about. No one would be calling it “ship baiting” or throwing fits. If it doesn’t bother you when it’s a man and a woman, but it does when it’s two women or two men - that’s homophobia. And a lot of the haters also seem to go down the whole “but it’s not canon” rabbithole and like... yes, it is. Just because Blake and Yang haven’t kissed or confessed their feelings out loud yet doesn’t make them not canon. They’re canonically in love, that much is explicitly clear. Deal with it or leave.)
- I like the build-up to Weiss telling everyone what happened (rule of 3 - when Blake and then later Ruby ask, she keeps saying they have to find Yang first and she’s not letting herself really process it either. But when they’re finally all together, Weiss finally allows herself to cry and tell them.
- Okay, time to let out my inner Nuts and Dolts shipper: WOW. The fact that Ruby just straight-up faints when she hears that Penny died. The fact that Weiss didn’t even finish speaking and Ruby already fainted... I’m so here for it! Look, I’m still heartbroken (and still in denial, hoping they’ll bring her back a second time), but if I have to deal with half of my ship being dead, then I at least want to see the other half have the most intense reaction possible to it. I want Ruby to grieve, I want Ruby to go through hell, I want her to just not be normal about this on any level. The intro already tells us that this is the “Ruby is depressed” volume, but I want that to be at least in large parts because of her grief for Penny. Ruby thought she’d lost Penny once, then she got her back, got even closer with her, fell in love with her, went through all of that trouble in Volume 8 to save her from the virus, only to find out she died anyways... yeah, I want Ruby to suffer about it and I’m so glad we’re getting that. (And in my perfect shipper-wish-fullfilment version I want Ruby to have some sort of “I loved her” line when talking about Penny later.)
- I like that Weiss left out Jaune’s exact role in Penny’s death and phrased it as “Jaune tried to help, but she sacrificed herself”. It’s not a lie and Weiss is being a good friend to Jaune by deciding that that part isn’t hers to tell. That being said, I want Ruby to go absolutely ballistic on Jaune when she finds out. I want her to blame Jaune, I want there to be a fight with tears and emotions and rage, I want it all. (To be clear, I’m not blaming Jaune, but I want Ruby to. Like I said, I want Ruby to not be normal about this. Let Ruby go apeshit over losing the girl she loves.)
- So wait, Ruby fainted and they just let her lie there? (Okay, to be fair, we don’t see what happend while she was out.)
- Okay, so Team RWBY currently don’t know that Jaune fell, that Salem has the relic, or how everyone in vacuo is doing. Weiss still saw Winter become the winter maiden and most people get to vacuo though, right?
- Side-note, what about all the random citizens who fell into the void when Cinder set off that first explosion? Team RWBY knows about them - are they going to at least try and save them too, or is this supposed to be a “they’re background characters, so let’s hope the viewers have forgotten about them” thing?
- Oh, I have feelings about Yang asking Ruby if she’s alright and Ruby brushing it off to talk about Neo instead. I hope WBY will realize that Ruby’s going through it right now.
- Yay for Blake taking charge and coming up with a plan. She’s come so far.
- Yang thought she was dead... don’t touch me.
- “I think we’re in a fairytale.” Oh, lovely line to end the first episode on.
Now for the opening:
- Love the song, first of all!
- That opening shot of Jaune and Neo! Jaune still with the broken sword and tears... Yeah, he’s not going to have a good time this volume either. Likely there’s going to be a lot of wrestling with guilt over Penny. Also, as some people have pointed out, there are quite a few parallels between Jaune and Neo. They’ve both lost someone they love (Pyrrha and Roman), they’re both keeping a tragic keepsake of that person (Pyrrha’s red fabric and Roman’s hat), they both (arguably for Jaune?) want revenge for that person’s death... yeah, will be interesting to see if this volume does anything with that.
- That montage of everyone growing more confident while Ruby receeds and becomes more depressed, the part where it’s just Ruby crying, then that montage of everyone else walking and getting faster while Ruby walks behind and gets slower and slower and hangs her head... Yeah, this is “Ruby has depression” - the volume, and I’m really looking forward to that for several reasons. First of all because I feel like Ruby is ironically one of the less developed characters on the show and I can’t wait for her to finally have the time to get that development. (This is another reason why I think it was a good call to have a smaller cast this this volume.) And secondly because I’ve been struggling with what’s likely depression and I think seeing that represented in a show I like would feel really healing.
- I would have never noticed the “no 11th hour” thing with Jaune on my own - props to all of you for picking up on that!
- Well that part with Ruby on the bridge isn’t creepy at all.
- Neo’s sitting behind a table sipping tea while wearing Roman’s hat and that’s when it hit me that she’s the mad hatter. Brilliant!
- Also, I wouldn’t have picked up on Jaune being the white rabbit (who’s always too late!) myself, but I love it. Also, this is another parallel between him and Neo and I wonder what their stories will have to do with each other this volume.
- Also interesting how we see both Ruby and Neo turning into... was her name Alyx? - well, our Alice, “the girl who fell through the world”, you know who I mean. Just like Jaune and Neo have parallels, Ruby has paralles with both of them as well (she’s also just lost the redhead she loves and might also keep a tragic keepsake of Penny’s).
Okay, one personal prediction I want to make: So far, every one of the last RWBY volumes had one character in particular stand out and steal the show for me, my “fave of the volume”, so to speak. For Volume 5 it was Ilia, for Volume 6 it was Salem, for Volume 7 it was Penny, and for Volume 8 it was Cinder. And based on the first episode and opening I think that for Volume 9 it’s going to be Ruby. That whole going through depression and mourning Penny thing... yeah, I think Ruby is who I’ll feel for the most here and I’m ready for it. Make this her volume, she deserves it. (I definitely also hope for some amazing Bumbleby moments, tough.)
I am apparently incapable of writing “short” posts.
#RWBY#RWBY Volume 9#RWBY Vol 9#Bumbleby#Nuts and Dolts#Ruby Rose#Weiss Schnee#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Jaune Arc#Neopolitan#Penny Polendina#Little#a week late but whatever#also I likely won't write something like this for the other episodes#just wanted to do it this time to also write out my hopes for the whole volume#long post
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do you ship helena bertinelli with anyone? if yes, then which characters and why? what's your favorite helena ship? do you have any helena rarepairs? (i know you've talked about helena/steph and you're so right about it, it's a very interesting ship)
!!!! i have so many ships for my best girl ever yes oh my god thank you for asking.
my top pairing is probably Vic Sage/the Question. Vic is the basic answer, but man. i love them so much. no couple has matched each other's freak like that have. Justice League Unlimited is a great adaptation of Helena in general, but it also did a great adaptation of Helena and Vic's relationship. how he just dedicates himself to helping her with no expected return, but also wants to make sure she doesn't go too far in a hunt for vengeance that never ends for her. i think a lot of characters often want to change Helena or expect things out of her for their own needs, like the Batfam and the BoP. but Vic is one of the few people who just wants her to be better for her own good. when he tries to stop her from killing it's not because of his morals, it's because he doesn't want this crusade to consume her. and i just. man i think about them a lot. Helena rlly likes weird little men who give themselves wholly to her.
Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk is also a top ship for me. tbh i just like Zinda. but i do love how Helena and Zinda interact, being the more rough and tumble members of the BoP. they're both outsiders, in different ways. Helena is an outsider of the Batfam and Zinda is literally from a different time and an outsider to the current world. their friendship is so genuine and i think if Babs and Dinah can have. whatever homoerotic nonsense going on during BoP, then Zinda and Helena deserve some homoerotic nonsense too. as a treat.
if we're willing to count New-52 Helena, then i enjoy Helena/Dick/Tiger. i think Helena and Dick being a past relationship is really important in pre-Flashpoint for Helena's development, though i don't ship them as a serious couple beyond a fling. but in the New-52, i think this throuple be fun. Helena and Tiger respect each other as two very driven, no-nonsense agents and then well. they both clearly have some kind of thing for Dick. so it's fun finding the balance of how they could all work together romantically.
and ofc. it's a crime to mention Helena ships and not mention Renee Montoya/the Question. every time they interact it's really fucking gay. it's so gay that Kate Kane, Renee's own ex, assumed Helena and Renee were gay. i cannot be convinced against this ship. i genuinely think this ship should be canon. i mean. DC did tease us with this moment from an alternate universe and it's lived rent for me since. fucking criminal for us to only get one panel of what we could have if DC let Helena be a fruit in the main universe. being in love with Helena Bertinelli should be a right of passage for the Question mantle, i personally believe. if you asked me like. genuinely who i want to see Helena date in the current comics, Renee is my top pick. (i would say Vic but he's fucking dead and the New-52 butchered him so rip my mans-)
lois lane (2019) #10
besides those ships, just about every ship for Helena probably falls into the category of rarepair. like you said i've talked about my love for Helena/Steph before bc god. i think it should be a thing more people ship. once i finish the fic i'm writing about them i will convince others to like it.
i also think Helena/Cass could be fun. in a *lot* of ways Helena and Cass are narrative parallels to each other. Helena was a victim of her family being murdered at about the same age Cass was forced to be a murderer. Helena grows up to believe in lethal justice because of this, and Cass grows up to be staunchly against it. Cass' Batgirl suit was made *by* Helena. they both want to be protectors of the most vulnerable people. they balance each other out in a lot of ways and i think they should kiss about it.
also probably a rarepair, i think Helena/Lady Shiva is fun. their fight during Birds of Prey (2010) had... questionable moments for Helena's characterization, but i do love so much that Helena knocks Shiva off her feet and gains a deep respect from Shiva. like. Shiva gives her a nickname and shows her admiration. i would like to see fanfic where Shiva continues to be weirdly admirable of Helena and bothering her non-stop. they could be a fun fucked up toxic yuri moment. this is just. so gay to me.
birds of prey (2010) #6
my most rare Helena pair would probably be Helena Wayne, actually. but specifically Helena Wayne of JSA (2022). ever since, for some reason, it was made canon that the current Helena Wayne was named after Helena Bertinelli and took the name Huntress to honor her i *cannot* stop thinking about them meeting. because in-universe it makes *no* fucking sense for Bruce to name his kid after *Helena Bertinelli*, someone he's regularly at odds with and doesn't like. it's clearly an awkward explanation to try to make the whole two Huntress situation make sense. (it's almost as bad as Helena Wayne in the New-52 using Helena Bertinelli as an alias.) but because it's such an odd choice, i do think it could be fun for Helena Wayne, when she's back in time to see Bruce, to find Helena Bertinelli to get to know the woman she was named after and Helena Bertinelli just being. baffled by the idea of *Batman* naming his kid after her. it could be a fun fucked up moment.
my other super rarepair is Kara Zor-L/Power Girl. they had like. one meaningful interaction of JSA Classified and it's been PLAGUING me. something about when Power Girl doesn't remember her past and she's seeking a friend, she instinctively goes to find Huntress? but it's wrong bc this isn't *her* Huntress and neither of them understand why Power Girl would seek Helena out? god it's so good. i'm always a big fan of ships where one person in the ship is *so* obviously using the other person as a replacement for someone they lost and they both know it. it's such a doomed angsty thing where you could play with Helena actually really liking Kara, but knowing that she's just a replacement for Kara's Helena Wayne. good fucked up shit man.
and lastly: i really ship her with Dawn Granger/Dove. there's no canon basis for this, they didn't have a ton of interactions even when they were both on the BoP. but there's a very kind innocence to Dawn that contrasts Helena's violence really well. and i do love a ship with a corruption kink vibe to it. let Helena corrupt Dawn. i could write such fucked up porn about these two.
#necrotic answerings#helena bertinelli#idk the ship names for most of these ships so idk how to tag them#most of them are too rare to have ship names. tragic.#anyway i ship her with so many ppl#i do ship her with tim as well but i didn't mention him just bc i default to viewing them platonically.#also think babs is a valid ship for her. but in a hatefucking way.#i prefer their relationship when they can't stand each other it's more fun.#but yeah the realistic “i want to see this in canon” options are vic and renee#and then the rest are “i'm alone in this ship but i see potential” rarepairs#esp lady shiva. like i'm *really* tempted to write that fic.#i just need to read more comics with shiva.#actually the most fucked up option: cass/helena/shiva incestual threesome.#that has potential. but i don't think anyone shares my vision#also i've seen posts arguing for helena/jason#and while. longterm i disagree. i do think them sleeping together is on the table.#but largely ppl always bringing him up when talking about her sours me to that ship. so eh.#also i would ship helena/bruce in a fucked up way if that one batman: the brave & the bold episode didn't piss me off so bad#justice league unlimited is the *only* good adaptation of helena i'm so serious.#everything else eats ass with her. esp the arrowverse.#and the birds of prey movie.#but jlu does good by her and if you just watch that show you do have a solid grasp of her character#it adapts her story into a child-friendly medium in what i think is the best way it could've#anywhore thank you for this ask <3#you actually sent this when something rlly shitty happened so it was a nice little distraction from life to think about my answer#OH WAIT YOU KNOW WHO I FORGOT.#kate spencer. manhunter. I ship her with helena too.#lethal female vigilantes unite.#BRO those two deserve a teamup mini or something. they'd click so well.#dc hire me to write a huntress/manhunter mini series i promise i won't make them gay (my fingers are crossed)
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Spinel.
#more spinel posting. it will happen again etc#anyway very curious about that last sentence#emphasizing his loyalty to gibeon (so he is on his side??) in contrast to his hostility towards amethio#what's going on spinel.. are you jealous of the preferential treatment.. is it something else. idk#hope he talks a lot tomorrow either way.#also liked the key frame with amethio and soublades.. they're very cute. that's his partner#and the gif with liko and amethio working together. also very nice#i wonder who made the first step in asking the other to team up#also nyarote riding on armorga.. reminds me a lot of ep 45 when soublades and friede's lizardon teamed up#the inherent trust in knowing the other won't let you fall etc. that kind of thing#liko and amethio.. going through similar steps as friede and amethio in this aspect#friede and amethio was the preamble. to introduce the idea that amethio is capable of teaming up with the main characters#and now we're seeing more variations of it.. good writing#hz065#character notes#episode notes#liko and amethio
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Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era
#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out#I made barely any post#Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons#I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished#They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes#I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them#(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them#Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops#random rambles
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I kind of got into your story and I was thinking, are you going to post the old/original version of Time and Time again? so we could have a new point of view or about your evolution in design and history
I don't really want to tbh
I made the original version during a really hard time in my life, and it's really nice to be able to shed some of that and get to give it the love I feel like it really deserves so it can exist in a way I'm proud of!
I'm just happiest to explore the current iteration and leave it behind as it was.
#It's also just years old at this point#so it's nowhere near my current skill level both for writing and for art#like I was smack in the middle of college making it#and I was also making another comic#and ALSO working part time as a nanny#with untreated hypersomnia...#and I lost the friend I was working on it with#so the series was constantly on and off hiatus as things were just really really getting out of control#it took me like 2 years or something to get through the whole thing just because of how repeatedly heartbreaking it was to come back to it#I also got fired from my OTHER part time job (as a youth pastor (my dad is a pastor)) because of making gay comics#so it was just. really rough#so working on it the past few years has been... a process.#and I've finally gotten it to a place that each episode is a joy rather than something I dread#so I just don't want to share something that I dreaded making#I hope you understand! I'm sorry#but I won't share it#asks
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Can't fucking be-LIEVE I'm gonna have to pay if I want to continue watching Petrichor the absolute NERVE!!!!!!
#thoughts no one cares about#I'm being melodramatic obviously that was a possibility I had already considered and budgeted for#but that was before... how to put this delicately... it sparked less joy than I thought it would#idk if it's because the translation could be better and so it makes the script feel more rudimentary than it probably is#but I did see a post by someone else pointing out how amateurish the writing for the case of the week was so it's clearly not just me#and like I'm far from someone who notices script issues especially when I'm enjoying something (*cough*thetwoofus*cough*)#but that was hard to ignore#so that plus the fact that the leads are not sparking as much as I thought they would from the other things I've seen them in#made the hour-long first episode really drag for me#THAT SAID... I have major FOMO so I really don't wanna miss out on the virtual watercooler talk surrounding this show#(especially since I don't have any other shows for whom discussion is as active right now)#and I also really am rooting for the side couple so I definitely wanna see how their story plays out#and since I had already budgeted for it... looks like I WILL bite the bullet#but I won't be happy about it!!!#it's just such a shame because I was really looking forward to this show and I had zero expectations beyond being entertained and yet...#anyways... it is what it is
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//the csi episode i just watched was about incest and the mother kills her son's new lover and makes him help her cover it up and it's giving.... mary & gerry vibes... and i'm not implying anything but i'm also not not implying anything
#i will be your ticket taker. 『 ooc 』#incest tw#//I'M KIDDING I'M KIDDINNNNGGGGGG#//.......#//....no i'm not#//LKFJDLSAKJKSJDF#//ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I'M REALLY NOT LMFAO#//in the episode the guy had a new relationship in an effort to get away from his mother#//and she made him end it and then killed the lover#//and considering my hc that gerry tried to have a couple of relationships as a teenager that both ended badly bc mary existed... well.#//also the guy in the episode was violent against women bc he couldn't take it out on his mother so he externalized it in other ways#//and... W e l l .#//i've literally had people try to ship with gerry and then be disgusted by his intrusive thoughts about women like. sorRY#//god forbid i write my trauma victim exhibiting symptoms of trauma 🙄 won't happen again#//anyway something something the inherent weirdness of their codependency something something
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I think you mentioned you're cis, right? Many of my friends and acquaintances right now are cis women, some not even part of the lgbtq+ community. I'm a trans girl, and I'm very bad at standing up for myself. How should I talk about language they use that makes me uncomfortable? I don't know if I'm able to explain why "biological women" is a term I'm wary of because it's so often a dog whistle, or when they talk very sweepingly about the effects of male/female socialization, or espousing very cisnormative beliefs in general. I don't wanna be misunderstood and I don't think the words they are using are necessarily wrong or bad or hateful, I've just seen them so often in that context and am a bit shaken hearing them. I also don't think they want to hurt me or are cognizant of my discomfort. I'd love your input on this.
Thank you for reading this, mx batman.
hi anon,
I am so grateful that you trust me with this question and I am so sorry if you're looking for a way to do this gently. possibly you wee hoping that I would have some insights into how to gently call out cis women without upsetting them but the gag is that almost all my friends are trans and I'm an insane bitch who will unhinge my jaw and devour people at the first whiff of transphobia.
all you need to say is something to the effect of "you may not mean any harm by it, but the terms you're using spread transphobic ideas and hurt women like me and make me feel unsafe. please find other ways to express the thing you're trying to talk about." and that has to be sufficient for these people, or they aren't your friends.
listen to me right now. you Do Not need to justify why those things make you uncomfortable. you are not required to provide a dissertation to prove that your feelings deserve to be respected. if these women are your friends they are required to give a shit about your feelings, and that includes not requiring you to provide an entire powerpoint when you ask them to stop using terms that are transphobic. when a friend says "you're hurting me," you're supposed to just stop fucking hurting them.
if they want to educate themselves, which I strongly recommend the do, there are plenty of people who are writing books and articles and video essays and podcasts that will hold the hands of cis allies trying to learn Don't Be A Transphobe 101. you ARE NOT obligated to be that person for every person in your life, and they do not have the right to demand that of you.
recently I was listening to an episode of the podcast Vibe Check, which is excellent, and one of the hosts (I believe it was poet Saeed Jones, but don't quote me on that) offered some advice to the effect of "if you tell someone that they're hurting you and you tell them what they need to do to stop, and they do it again, they've told you everything they need to tell you." live that learn that love that. being fiercely protective of your needs and boundaries is an act of protection and self-preservation and it's what you deserve; cut a bitch OFF if she won't listen to you and be a better friend.
also hey as a cis woman. and specifically as a white cis woman. do NOT let them come at you with the cis lady tears, especially the white cis lady tears. anyone who starts whining and crying and acting like you're attacking them for just asking them not to say things that hurt your feelings, run. run so fast. those women do not love you.
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So, what is the deal with the world’s most conspicuously uneaten Eccles cakes? (A meta)
Well, I wouldn’t say it’s bad writing, not even the on-purpose-as-a-secret-message kind. I agree there is a visual ‘loose thread’ here that the creators wanted us to notice, but I don’t think the meaning has anything to do with Metatron or the eventual plan for S3. I think the eccles cakes are all about what’s going on in this episode with Crowley and Aziraphale, and they’re unsettling in exactly the way they’re meant to be, even if we might not register the full implications consciously on first watch.
On the most straightforward level, this shot is the punchline to a joke set up by Aziraphale and Nina in the coffee shop. Crowley orders six shots of espresso, bound to get him all worked up and stressy. Aziraphale, who desperately wants Crowley to be thinking clearly when he learns about the Gabriel situation, says to Nina: ‘What do you sell that calms people down?’ And she replies: ‘Eccles cakes.’ From this moment on the cakes are a visual symbol of what Aziraphale needs from Crowley right now.
That’s why they get so much screentime as we cross the road and go into the shop. Aziraphale won't leave those eccles cakes behind because he’s still hoping that Crowley will respond to the request they represent: Please stay calm, please be patient and listen to me with empathy.
But Crowley never does respond, and as he storms out we get that close-focus shot of the abandoned plate to make sure the subtext hits home. The cakes are framed sitting in front of the horse statue, brilliantly dressed up in Crowley's sunglasses, to remind us that they were brought there for him and he's dismissing them. (Crowley is the frantic horse who can't be managed!)
There’s another level to it, though, which doesn’t fully become clear until episode 6. The episode 1 meeting in Nina’s café is the first time that Aziraphale and Crowley share a scene in the present-day in S2, which means that the last time we saw them together was when they were dining at the Ritz. As viewers, we quickly recognise the visual language of their partnership: a table for two, a drink, a dessert. It feels familiar. But the food gets delivered and then nobody eats it. On that level, it is a set-up without a pay-off and it really niggles as you watch. S1 closed out their relationship with a happy toast after a resplendent dinner; S2 opens it with a snack that gets ignored. The dynamics of who offers food to whom are also off, atypical. It’s a sign of how things are going to go later on, hinting at the fact their dynamic is dysfunctional right now, even though it might seem OK on the surface.
Which brings me, finally, on to the other thing I’ve wanted to point out…
The punchline is that Crowley doesn’t eat the eccles cakes, but the really subconsciously disconcerting thing is that Aziraphale doesn’t. That he seemingly never planned to, and never orders anything for himself. In fact, we don’t see Aziraphale eat anything substantial in any of the present-day scenes in S2. The only things he consumes onscreen are sherry, tea, and a travel sweet. (Oh, and Manipulation Coffee, which is definitely a callback to Crowley’s disastrous sextuple-espresso.) We see him with food, yes, but primarily he wants to give it to other people.
For me this little detail of S2 – not something you even fully notice until you think about it – is a very telling understated cue in terms of Aziraphale’s post-Heaven state of mind. It's about what amuseoffyre puts so well in another meta: 'the whole series looks like he’s having so much fun doing silly human things, but there’s this brittleness to it.' At first glance, we see Aziraphale interacting with food and assume he is now living the happy Earthly life we wanted for him, but on closer inspection he's not engaging much in the pleasure of eating for his own sake. He gets a quick sweet pick-me-up on his way somewhere else in the Bentley - all alone - and that's it. He's too anxious, too busy, he doesn't have time. Crowley doesn't have time to invite him for lunch.
I find it fascinating that Gabriel gets a squillion cups of cocoa in this season, waxing all lyrical about them, and Aziraphale gets none. Aziraphale's mug becomes Jim's mug, even. And he mostly makes the tea to show Muriel how to blend in. In short, S2 Aziraphale is terribly preoccupied with looking after/managing others, and not taking the time to look after himself. Like the Maggie and Nina match-making, all that kindly treat-offering is displacement, displacement, displacement.
No wonder it all goes wrong.
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꒰ 마크 ꒱ ── cherry beer 𖥔 synopsis. . . mark would've never guessed that he'd spend his free time on some college party making out with a pretty girl
𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑑 마크 / reader ៸៸ college au suggestive ⟡ ⌢ . making out drinking mark loves ass now is playing! . . cherry bomb by nct 127
𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝒩. im so obsessed with mark the past week guys this is getting out of hand so i had to write it. also not proofread and everything is happening super fast in this im sorry lol
mark wasn't used to be in a place like this, he wasn't a party typa guy at all to say at least, but there he was. he could spend friday night to study and maybe produce something for his next class, but his friends wanted him to go to that frat party so bad, they were annoying him for the whole week. now he was sitting on the couch, his ears hurting from the shitty music those frat guys were playing, couple that sat right next to him were touching each other and he almost spilled his drink on him. fucking perfect.
"hey, why are you here?" donghyuck comes to him from behind, wrapping a hand around his friends shoulder. why the fuck is he asking that, he was literally the one who drugged him there and then left to go get drunk with some girls that won't even look ar him for once. mark was annoyed. he could be in his room, watching new episode of his favorite show, but no. it was all donghyuck and jisung's fault.
"because you left me to get some pussy?" mark rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair when he stood up. he followed donghyuk even if he was mad at him, there was nothing else to do at that shitty party anyway.
"hold on a minute, you were the one who said you'd be somewhere in the house not wanting to talk to girls…"
"because they do not care about you or me. dude, you seriously think those girls, looking like they just came from 'mean girls' movie would care about you?" mark chuckles at his friend's naivety. that was just stupid of him thinking that they care. "have you seen how they were all over jeno? and now they're probably having a threesome or something.."
"gosh, why are you like that?"
"like what? not blind of someone's pretty facade that they built just to get rid of the nerds like us?" mark leaned back on the wall when they got outside, breathing deeply. fresh air helped him feel better, he wasn't feeling that bad now after he finally left that crowded room that smells like alcohol and sweat. nasty.
"you're too serious," donghyuck took a sip from his drink and waved him off before he walked away. mark saw jisung smoking at the backyard with some stoner guys from the campus he saw before a few times. obviously hyuck went there to get high like it would bring some fun into this event.
mark was staring at his phone, scrolling through his discord chat with other friends, seeing they were playing minecraft. he would play it too if he wasn't there. he couldn't leave this house without hyuck and jisung though, he wasn't a shitty friend after all. they were drunk and high and he didn't want anything to happen to them.
he didn't hear when the door opened and only when someone quite literally bumped into him and almost fell, he saw you. his phone almost slipped from his hand, but that didn't matter now. mark's hands quickly wrapped around your waist, holding you in place so you wouldn't fall on the ground. "yo, are you alright?"
"yeah, thanks." you nodded, looking up to see who saved you from falling. trying your best to get your hair out of your face, you saw mark. you knew him because you shared one class together when you both were on your freshman year, after that you were only looking at him from time to time at campus. or in cafeteria. or when he was ordering his coffee in the morning before classes at the same coffee shop you always went to. "im bad at drinking, had one fucking beer and can't stand straight already.."
"why did you drink then?" mark asked. his hands still were on your waist, holding you in place with a gentle grip. he looked at you, searching your face and eyes, something about you were super familiar but he couldn't quite understand what. like he saw you somewhere before. and you were pretty. mark's gaze dropped to your lips, lip gloss looked so shiny he was wondering how'd it taste and how'd your lips look all swollen and messy… what the hell? why was he thinking with his dick right now, that's not mark lee. something about you just brought this side of him out and he couldn't help it. so stupid.
"because this party is fucking boring!" you rolled your eyes as you heard mark's question. in all honesty you came to this party to have fun and relax after a stressful week of studies and maybe hookup with someone, but music was shitty, guys were ugly and your friends decided to get high for some reason and you weren't feeling like it. you drank one cherry flavored beer and since you're not good with alcohol, it was enough for you to go outside to get some fresh air before you could've done or said anything weird that you'd regret later. "aren't you bored, mark? that's why you're outside, yeah?"
"how do you know my name?" mark's eyes widened slightly, now he tried so hard to remember where he could possibly see you that you even know his name. you. hot girl in those fucking jeans that were hugging your ass perfectly and low cut top, he felt like he was in some teenage movie where a popular cheerleader girl allowed a nerd like him to touch her and there'd be happy ending where they ended up together or something. some stupid shit his cousin would probably watch.
"we had art class together a few years ago, you sat right infront of me and i couldn't see half of the desk because of your big head," you explained, standing straight and making sure your hair and outfit looked presentable. even though you weren't about to fall anymore, you didn't want to escape from mark's grip on your waist. you didn't want him to let go either, it also seemed like he forgot that he was touching you.
"oh! sorry dude, my bad.. um," he finally let go of your waist, making you pout slightly which he didn't notice. his hand comes to the back of his neck as he rubs it awkwardly. "how'd you still remember me?"
"can't say i didn't like that big head of yours covering the view, so i asked your friend… ugh, what's his name?" you genuinely couldn't remember the name of the guy that you asked for mark's name. he looked like he was about to cry back then when you came up to him. "the emo looking kid."
"jisung."
"i guess? whatever. i asked him for your name, poor boy looked like he was about to piss himself." you both chuckle.
"wait, you asked for my name? why?"
"you're cute," you shrugged, looking up at him. the distance between you two was small, you could smell the mix of perfume and alcohol coming from him, his hair looked soft and the only thing you wanted to do right now was run your hands through it while you kiss him, leaving him all breathless and shy. "the reason why i haven't talked to you since then is because i thought you were too busy studying.."
"too busy for what?" mark interrupted you, his cheeks now flashed slight red as he noticed your gaze on him. and when you called him cute.. he just had to believe you, there was no sign that you were lying or anything like that, he thought you'd never make fun of him too. just felt right.
"dating? fucking? not sure."
"you wanted to fuck me?!" mark was shocked, he almost yelled so you had to cover his mouth with your hand to shut him up so nobody would look at you two.
"shut up, idiot. gosh, why are you so pathetic, that's hot.." you truly didn't mean for the second sentence to come out of your mouth, but by the look in mark's eyes you could tell he was more shocked and confused now. you put your hand down, clearing your throat as you looked away. "still do, by the way."
"what?"
"still wanna fuck you, mark."
oh, he wasn't expecting that. what was he supposed to do? or say? maybe he just needs to shut up and stay there quietly and wait before you say something? there was a lot of thoughts in his head, gaze flicking from your face to your boobs. yeah, he was still thinking with his dick.
"wanna make out?"
"what?!"
"are you deaf or something?" you rolled your eyes at him once again, turning your head to look at him and wait for his answer. yeah, you liked mark. he was cute, awkward and oh damn you loved nerds and he was the hot one, obviously you wanted to make out because you were at this party for that at the first place. and you were a little drunk, so why not? "if you won't answer i'll just kiss you.."
"i want to," mark swallowed hard, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before looking down at you. "what do i do?"
"oh my god, mark! have you ever kissed a girl in your life?" one of your hands wrapped around his shoulder while other comes to the back of his neck to bring his face closer to yours. you couldn't wait, your mouth quickly covering his, tasting a strong taste of beer on his lips. mark closed his eyes, standing there and letting you do all the work. he didn't even know where to put his hands, honestly. he was afraid you wouldn't like him touching you even though you two were kissing. and he still couldn't remember your name. fuck.
you pulled away, taking a breath before smiling at him. your smile was so pretty, mark could've sworn he almost faint. "you can touch me, i can tell you want to touch my ass."
"are you s-serious?"
"cute." was the only thing you've said when you pulled him for another kiss. the hand on his shoulder slipped down his arm and you brought his hand to your ass, mark's eyes widened and he almost moaned into the kiss, opening his mouth slightly more so you could slide your tongue inside. the wet sound of your messy kiss was making mark's head spin, his other hand moving up to your waist as he pressed his back to the house's wall. the contrast between your hot body, warm lips against his and the coldness against his back was definitely doing something to him.
mark felt kinda bad though. he liked kissing you, liked knowing that you were attracted to him, who wouldn't be happy if they were him? you — pretty girl from his university, hot as fuck as we speak, were attracted to some nerd like him? what a fucking win. he loved touching your ass too, it just felt right. so soft comparing to the rough fabric of your jeans, fits perfectly in his hand. but he still couldn't remember your name. he didn't want to become one of those jerks who's fucking a cute girl without even knowing her name and then leaving. yeah, you two weren't even fucking, but kissing you was nice and he liked that cherry beer flavor on your tongue when you licked his lower lip. so fucking hot.
he couldn't believe a girl like you could possibly like someone like him and that was one of the reasons why he didn't want to let go without remembering who you were. he wanted to take on a date? yeah. date you? maybe. damn, he doesn't even know you, but for him that was literally the last thing that matters right now. your lips were soft, the way your hands run through his hair and pulled them slightly… oh shit. when he felt your lips on his neck, teeth rubbing his gentle skin slightly as you pressed more kisses down his neck, mark was gone. down bad. in that moment he was pretty sure he wanted you all to himself and that right now he was the luckiest man alive.
"what's your name?" he choked out between kisses you shared, eyes still closed and his hand still squeezing your ass. you chuckled, finding his behavior adorable.
"y/n."
taglist: @spacejip @peterm4rker
#⠀ ⟡ 𝒩. 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴#mark lee#mark x reader#nct x reader#nct 127#nct mark#nct 127 x reader#kpop drabbles#kpop bg#kpop imagines#mark lee drabbles
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Grief is a funny thing
"Grief is a funny thing. You think that you got over it until you are sitting on a random bench, on a random Monday night and it comes back to remind you that it will always be part of you."
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: Angst, married life!AU, Hurt & Comfort
Warnings: OC graduated yaay!!, but it brings up old memories for her and she is in a state of guilt & grief, talk about loss of family and grief that won't leave, tears, but Jungkook is there for her and he is such a comfort, i love him a lot
Wordcount: 2.1k
a/n: sometimes i have the desire to write something angsty for the aaol!couple. listennn, i reread some of the main chapters again and i wanted to write something about OC's grief over her brother and how Kook handles her grief episodes. soo that's why this was created <3
You graduated. You actually did it. You are officially a person with a masters degree. You are something. The degree is at home where you left it. On the living room coffee table next to an empty glass of water.
You can’t look at it.
Nobody would get you if you told them that you don’t want to look at it, because it’s insane. You are aware of it. For years, all you dreamt of was being something one day. And then it happened and you were able to pursue your dream education and to graduate. You literally fulfilled your biggest dream, it should make you happy and it does, but it also doesn’t. Deep down in your heart you know the reason for it, but you aren’t ready to admit it to yourself yet. It would make you cry. You hate crying for negative reasons.
Your phone rings. This is the third time it does and you know that you can’t ignore whoever is calling you any longer.
Your heart stings when you check their ID.
Your Jungkookie is calling. You pick up, feeling guilty as you do.
“Yes?”
“Oh my god, finally. Thank god. Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you for what feels like hours. Are you okay?” Jungkook sounds distressed on the other side of the line. Understandably. It is currently one in the morning and you left without warning.
“I’m okay, just went for a walk.”
“At one in the morning?” he sounds confused. Understandably so. You are normally sleeping at this time of day.
“Yeah, well. Yeah, I guess.”
“It’s pouring buckets right now.”
“I guess it is.”
Silence on his side where he clearly tries to process what you are saying.
“Where are you? I’m coming to pick you up”, he says in the end.
“Paradis. The bench in front of it.”
Another silence. Understandably. You never went back there again after quitting your job.
“Just…just stay there. I’ll be quick”, Jungkook tries to sound neutral, but the anxiety is clear in his voice.
“Yeah, okay.”
“I adore you.”
“I adore you too.”
The call ends. You shove the phone back into your jacket pocket and continue to stare at the sign while the rain pours down on you. Jungkook doesn’t need to worry. You weren’t planning on leaving this bench for quite a while. All of this studying about how to help people and you feel helpless. It almost paralyzes you and makes time pass in a blur.
Jungkook runs to get to you, getting wet even under the umbrella as the water slaps against him. He calls out your name. You turn your head slowly, looking at him with tired, empty eyes.
“Oh my god, my love. You scared me so much. Why would you leave without saying anything?” he says, falling around your neck to hug you against him.
Your body falls into him. He is warm and his hug is tight. He cradles the back of your head, twisting parts of your jacket with his other hand.
“You made me worry like crazy. Please don’t ever do this again”, he says between little kisses all over your face and head.
“I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted, my love. Just tell me what’s wrong, please.”
Now that he is with you and you are in his arms, the state of you is so clear to you.
“I’m really cold.”
“No wonder. It’s fucking November and you’re sitting here getting drenched.” He says, trying to warm you by rubbing your back. “Come on, let’s go home.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
You let him help you to your feet. You hook arms with him, hugging his arm with both hands. You even go as far as to rest your head against it. Jungkook holds the umbrella even though you and he are already soaked to the bones.
“You’re worrying me, my love. What’s the matter?” he asks.
You and he walk back to his car at a slow pace.
“I don’t know”, you say.
“Why did you come here? Out of all the places?”
“I don’t know. I was at my old place too. It’s a storehouse for the restaurant these days.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t really get why you’re here and what you’re doing. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t look at it.”
“Look at what?”
“My masters.”
Silence. You can watch him as he processes what you said. You can also see how he is trying so hard to be supportive.
“Please don’t take it the wrong way, but why? I’m not judging, just having a hard time understanding this correctly.”
You cuddle closer. He always knows exactly what to say. It feels reassuring when he is honest. He might not understand, but he wants to. This is what unconditional love feels like.
“Whenever I look at it, I feel sick. I fulfilled my biggest dream and I’m happy, but I also feel lost.”
“I see. Now I understand. It’s scary knowing that something as big as college is over, but didn’t you play with the idea of doing your PhDs too?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“See? It’s not over yet if you want to. You have all the choices in the world. You can open your praxis or pursue your doctor’s degree. You have all the possibilities in the world. I’ll support you in any of them.”
“I guess.”
“Unless that’s what you’re lost with. Do you struggle with deciding?”
“I struggle with accepting the reality that I am something.”
“No, my love”, he gasps.
“I feel unworthy of it. I had this life”, you say, gesturing at the general direction of Paradis. “And now I have a Masters in psychology with chances of becoming a fucking doctor. It’s insane. I shouldn’t have this.”
“Yes, you should”, Jungkook insists loudly, furrowing his brows, “you worked so hard for it. I had to carry you to bed sometimes when you fell asleep by your desk because you were so exhausted from studying. Remember?”
“Yeah.”
“See? You literally worked your ass off for it. You should have it, for fuck’s sake. You wanted it for years and I won’t let you feel like this now.”
You and he stop in front of his car. He shakes you by your shoulders gently as if to shake you awake from your self-deprecating nightmare.
“You’re intelligent, resourceful and hardworking, ambitious and resilient and you got your degree because of that. You are amazing and you worked hard for it. You deserve it.”
You nod your head, but say nothing to it.
“Okay, my love?”
He looks at you. You look at your feet.
“Okay, my love?” he stresses, caressing your cheek gently.
“Jungkook, I miss my brother”, you confess what truly hurts so bad, instantly breaking into tears.
“Oh ___ my love, I’m sorry. Come here”, Jungkook gasps, wrapping his unoccupied arm around you.
You melt into his chest, sobbing into it while he holds you and comforts you.
“He and I, we always fantasised about how it would be to become something. He always talked about sending me off to college one day. But he’s dead and he won’t ever see that I actually did it. He’s dead. Why is he fucking dead?”
“Oh my love. I’m sorry. Life is so unfair”, Jungkook gets out, crying with you.
“It hurts so bad. He was supposed to see me off to college and, and see me graduate.”
“He was. He really was”, Jungkook agrees, sobbing afterwards which gives you so much comfort. It feels so reassuring and comforting so cry with him. You don’t even mind crying for negative reasons when he is with you.
“I feel so guilty. He was supposed to escape this life with me. We were supposed to get healthy and be happy.”
“You were, my love. But it’s not your fault. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for changing your life for the better.”
“I know, but it still hurts.”
You look up at Jungkook, spilling tears. He does as well, cradling your cheek.
“He was supposed to know you. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle and, and be happy for me because I fell in love with someone like you.”
Jungkook smiles, sniffling.
“He was supposed to be there on my happiest days. Why did he have to die?”
“I don’t know and it’s so unfair.”
“It is. He, he was supposed to be there for me on those days. He was…” A sob interrupts you. Jungkook soothes it with gentle touches to your arms. “It hurts so much to know that he won’t ever see who I became. I will always stay this little, drug addicted orphan girl to him. It hurts so bad that I never became someone different to him.”
“No, my love no. I’m sure that his spirit is still somewhere out there and he watched you grow up and become who you are today, my love.”
“Do you really think that?” you ask, looking at him with child-like hopefulness in your eyes.
“I do. I’m sure he is currently looking down at you and he feels proud and happy.”
“I hope so”, you say and lower your head. Tears drip down from your cheeks. “Urgh god, I hate crying”, you get out, wiping at your own face aggressively.
“Hey no.” Jungkook stops you gently. “Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself.”
You look up at him while he holds your hands. He caresses your chin with the same hand, using his thumb for it.
“Let’s go home, okay?” he suggests in a soft voice.
You nod your head.
“Come on, I’ll drive.”
You let him help you into the car. You stare outside as he drives off and you continue to stare outside as he drives through the city. It’s late and it's raining, which means that the streets are almost empty for a change. Jungkook doesn’t have the radio on. The purring of the car and the rain against the window are all the noises you hear. He has his hand on your thigh, giving you constant rubs of comfort. It’s warm and it’s nice.
You and he drove for a while when you break the silence.
“I’m sorry.”
He glances at you.
“For what?”
“For running off without warning. For being so ungrateful for my masters. For dumping all of my stuff on you.”
“I’m not even gonna play into this right now because there’s nothing for you to be sorry for”, Jungkook answers you with slight anger in his voice. He isn’t angry at you, but your self-deprecating use of words.
You hold his hand.
“I’m just so messy and you’re so good”, you confess.
“You’re tired and you’re exhausted. Today was a very overwhelming day. Don’t believe your thoughts anymore, my love.”
You and he stop at a red light.
“You love me, right?”
Jungkook instantly leans over to kiss you. First your lips, then your forehead.
“I love you so much”, he whispers, cradling your cheek and gazing deep into your eyes. “I love everything about you, even the messiest and darkest parts. I always have and always will.”
You can’t bear to look into his eyes anymore, lowering your head shyly. The red light switches from red to green back to red again in the time you and he sit in the car and let his words sink in. The rain sounds calming as it hits the car.
“What are you thinking right now?” he asks in a quiet, gentle voice.
“A lot. Grief and guilt and, and… I guess, I’m thinking that I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore now that I talked about it with you.”
“Yes? This makes me happy to hear. I’ll always be there for you. And I’ll always come and get you from wherever you run off to.”
He makes you laugh. Jungkook laughs with you, kissing your forehead. The light switches to green. He takes this chance and drives off, holding your hand as he does.
“Jungkook, I wanna take a shower and then talk in bed”, you tell him.
“That sounds good. We’ll shower and then we’ll cuddle and you can tell me all about your brother.”
“But I already told you everything.”
“And? It won’t ever be boring to me.”
“Oh.”
A deep breath fills your lungs and as it leaves you again, you feel lighter. You rest your head against the window, looking at him. The rainy night city passes him, the changing lights paint the prettiest of artworks onto his face.
“You’re the best goddamn thing that ever happened to me.”
Jungkook squeezes your hand because that is all he can do right now in fear of looking away from traffic for too long.
“I can say the same about you, my love.”
#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook scenario#jungkook drabble#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts angst#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts scenario#bts drabble#bts x reader#bts x you#bangtan angst#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan drabble#bangtan scenario#bangtan x reader#bangtan x you#fanfic: aaol
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Yandere sonic
Pair- sonic x reader
Warning- MDNI, yandere behavior, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior,emotional manipulation, manipulation,gaslighting, non-con sonic, PDA, delusional behavior, forced relationship, stalking.
Note- this is just for fun! Also, I'm still trying to correct Sonic's personality, so bare with me please.( This is the sonic from the anime! But you're welcome to imagine another version as well) Having a lot of fun with writing, might actually make a one-shot! Maybe. There are more than likely a few spelling errors I looked over, so bare with me again. This took to fucking long
For sonic, I don't see it being love at first sight. this is because sonic is level headed, calm, and it's clearly shown how he acts around new people. He's not rude of course, but it does take a bit before he gets completely used to them. That being said, it's the same when you roll around. Still, he's not a jerk, but he just needs to get used to your presence. As a animal, it can be uncomfortable for them is someone new is where they normally hang out at, even if they don't show it, it's still there.
So, even when he does get used to you, it'll be a lot different. He'll actually start to go up to you and talk, not like he didn't before, but he enjoys it a lot more now. Not that anyone could notice. They just think it's the same ol sonic.
Now, up to the things that'll make him like you a lot more(maybe not in a healthy way): it could be a lot of things, maybe it was the way you were able to keep up with him, not speed wise. But his attitude. When ever he starts to wise up, getting cocky, you challenge him. He says how he's the fastest thing on earth, you say how shadow beat him that one time, and that there are millions of other universes out there. And you do it in the same cocky tone he speaks about in. Or how you always protect and care for his friends, how much you care for tails means the most to him, as much as he loves all of his friends, tails is his brother. So when he sees you patching he up after a the x tornado cashed, sonic will feel a sense of something, something he's never felt before. And dear God, when you take care of sonic is a nightmare for both of you, for different reasons; For sonic, it's because feeling you oh-so gentle touch on his skin makes him literally vibrate. While your reason is because he won't fucking sit still, but you figure it's because of him having a running craving. You couldn't be anymore wrong
Speaking of running, he will definitely make you run with him, even though you can never keep up. So he slows down a bit, not being with you exactly but a little ways away, just so he can tease you about how 'your almost there!' and when you scowl at him as he grins and Snickers. Kinda like in the first episode, where he's running backwards in front of team S, playing with them
Also, he gets unbelievably clingy, like, unreasonably clingy. when ever he's sleeping, or trying to sleep. If you walk by, he has no problem grabbing your wrist and pulling you on him. Even if your taller. He does not care, if he wants to cuddle, he will get those god damn cuddles. He will force your head to the nape of his neck, put his head on yours, and trap you with his arms. Normally, sonic would never do this, but the desperate need to now if your ok is a lot stronger than his shame for not giving you personal space. With sonic, you personal space is his personal space. You share bubbles
If your shorter than him, than good luck, cause he will use you as a arm rest. Tease you, pick you up like a rag doll, and all with that signature smug smirk. And it gives him an advantage to trap you to, when ever you try to get up from a cuddle, he'll pull you back. Curling above you as you whine about wanting to get up. He chuck, putting all of his body weight on top of you. Teasing you about how ' what are going to do about it?' And as you whine, and huff and puff. He will not move.
Now, if you get up for another reason, like going outside, or getting his friends. And that's when his more... Concerning side shows. He literally can not function when you out of his sight, his anxiety and possessivnes getting the best of him, he'll always run off to find you. The discomfort of you not there is unbearable. so when you try to leave his sight willingly. He panics, and uses the best trick in the book, manipulation.
" but i don't want you to get hurt! Eggman's been stepping it up lately, who knows what he'll do to you if he captures you! And more than likely, he'll use you as bait, and maybe we could get hurt trying to save you, there's no telling what Eggman's got planned. And you can never be to careful."
" And if your with me, you will never get hurt, no one will! So why don't you came back, and cuddle with me again."
Yea, it's really bad. And note how it wasn't a question, the last one. Even if you disagree, sonic will force you back to bed, saying how you've been overworking a lot lately anyway, and that what a better way to relax than to cuddle with your 'friend' sonic. He'll force you under him, curling above you as he keeps on saying it's so you, and your friends won't get hurt. But at this moment, he could care less about his friends, he just cared about you. But from your point of view, your scared about what he's doing. And how for just being a hedgehog, speed wasn't the only thing going for him, it was strength to. You never expected this, you thought back to the hedgehog you were talking to not even 10 minutes ago. Your best friend, the one that would lend a hand, the shoulder you could cry on. Was not who you were looking at, this was someone else.
Now, if you go back to him without a fuss, it will be a lot better! He'll pull you back to him, laying down with you. And will go back to talking, like you weren't just trying to leave him (in his thoughts). Speaking of his thoughts, in both instances. The one thing he will be thinking is; ' why are you trying to leave me?" And while on the outside he looks unbelievably calm. But on the inside he's freaking out, scared, and worried for what he did that would make you want to leave. Was it something he said? Something he did? Did someone tell you something about him? Who was it? Lover's quarrel? Ah, that had to be it.
He's so delusional that he won't even ask you to be his girlfriend, assuming that you guys are already in a relationship. So when you try to tell him that it's not true, he'll act like you're the crazy one
"you uh, feeling ok baby? Don't know how you could forget that we're in a relationship, but that's okay! I'll let it slide. This time"
" y/n, for the last time! It's okay that you forgot, I'll make you remember."
This guy has the biggest ego in the sonic universe, so he'll automatically assume, that again, your in a relationship. I mean, it doesn't matter if he asks or not; he saves you, is there for you, protects you, stands up for you, traps you from harm, feeds you, cuddles with you, and so much more! What's the point in asking?
And besides, he loves you so much more than those other. Things. You should be grateful he looks your way!
But, even though he'll save you from harm. Sometimes, he's the one that puts you in it just to impress you, only you. He'll never let you actually get hurt, just captured. And he'll save the day by swooping in at the last second. Getting your praise is one of the most important things in his life, something he couldn't possibly live without, something truly out of this world, or, universe.
And when ever your out, oh boy. Be prepared because he does not hold back, he'll always be touching you, it's so he nows you're still okay! You're not hurt. And he won't be subtle, he does not give two fucks about what other people think; He'll wrap his arms around your waist from behind as your looking at something, hold your hand, wrap his arm around your neck, kiss your cheek, forehead, and nose. Once again, he doesn't give a flying fuck.
He's also stupidly overprotective. He'll follow you around, and it's not like you could catch him at the corner of your eye or run from him. He's the fastest thing alive! And he's not stalking you! He's simply protecting you, wouldn't want Eggman to steal you away! Now would we?
There's not many things that sonic will lose his cool over, he's probably one of the most chill people you will ever meet. But, that doesn't mean he'd never go apeshit. And one of these things are people, people talking to you. Why are they around you? They shouldn't even be breathing the same air as you. He sees people that you talk to as a threat, even if their the least threatening person on the planet. He doesn't care, and he will gladly scare them away. Without you knowing of course, all he has to do; is look at them in the eye from behind you, glow dark, Make his eyes white, and bam! Their running off. But no one else sees this of course! He wouldn't want to ruin his reputation, now would he?
And when you two are alone, he'll plant doubts in your head about your friend or friends. Making you eventually believe that their not a good person, and it always works. He won't stop until it does.
" I don't really like this Joseph guy y/n, he's tried to hurt people in the past. What do you mean I'm lying? I've seen him do it in person! What makes you think that I haven't? I stopped him from doing it before, and I'll stop him from doing it again!"
A sigh, "i'm sorry y/n, it's just-i don't want you to get hurt, please understand that I'm only trying to help and protect you. And by doing that, I'm warning you of this guy before he does something."
" are you sure about this? I'm not so sure you should go out with her tonight y/n, or any other nights. What I mean is that she's not a good person, she manipulates people. I've heard she doing it! Why do you think I wasn't to happy with being 'introduced' to her by you?"
And even with all the lies, he truly feels like he isn't hurting you, he genuinely believes that he is just protecting you. He's not intentionally isolating you, nor will he call it that. He's just protecting you from the dangers of this fucked up world, and if he wants to shelter you. He will
But, even after all he's put you through, remember. He'll " always love you!"
#Sonic X#yandere sonic#yandere sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic x reader#sonic the hedgehog#yandere sonic x reader#yandere sonic the hedgehog x reader#yandere sonic X#the Brain rot is real#why did i make this#im going to hell
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BTW as a trekkie the funniest thing you can do is find someone who isn't and try to explain Spock's Brain to them.
"so trek got canceled after two seasons, but fans launched a massive letter-writing campaign and got it renewed. First time that'd happened in the history of TV, I believe. They came back with an episode called Spock's Brain."
"interesting. So what's the plot?"
"aliens steal Spock's Brain"
"what. And what else?"
"no that's pretty much it. His brain gets stoled. They have to go find it."
"huh. Why do the aliens steal it?"
"they need a computer to run their society."
"and they decide to use Spock's Brain?"
"yep! So the Enterprise crew rigs up a remote control device for Spock's body so they can drive it around like a toy car, and go looking for his brain."
"wait. They don't leave it behind in, like, medical stasis?"
"nah they're worried they won't be able to get the brain back to his body in time. So they bring it along. As a remote controlled body. They've got a little remote with like 5 buttons. Walk forward, turn left, turn right, Kung-fu attack, and so on"
"attack?"
"yeah they have to fight off the aliens at one point. With Spock's body."
"huh."
"the best part? The ultimate moral of the episode seems to be against gender segregation"
"WHAT"
"yeah see the aliens who stole Spock's Brain are a bunch of cavemen living on the nuclear-winter surface and a bunch of women living below ground, with PAIN RAYS. the women steal Spock's Brain to run their society, because they're not smart enough to run their machines."
"that seems... Sexist?"
"yeah a bit. So at the end when they get Spock's Brain back, they solve the society's problems by convincing them to reintegrate the sexes and work together on solving their problems. Also Kirk says something like 'in time you'll learn that women can provide not only pain, but pleasure!' to the cave men"
"... Do the women have pleasure rays too?"
"no. He's not talking about that. Anyway this is all skipping over the fact that when they meet up with the alien woman they saw steal Spock's Brain, she doesn't know how to put it back in. Or take it out. She doesn't know what a brain is."
"what"
"yeah she was sent on this mission by the old computer that was failing, and it used a Teacher Machine to temporarily give her SUPER SURGERY skills to get the brain out."
"so she went from not knowing what a brain is to being able to do neurosurgery?"
"yeah. And here's the thing: McCoy can't put the brain back in either. It's too compilated for him."
"so they went searching for Spock's Brain, knowing that they had no way to put it back in?!"
"exactly! So McCoy gets taught how to do Super Brain Surgery by the Teacher Machine, and he starts putting Spock's Brain back in his body, but the skills wear off before he can finish"
"they wear off?"
"yeah you only get them for a few hours. So he has the brilliant idea of hooking up Spock's vocal cords so that Spock can walk him through hooking up the rest of his brain."
"there are so many reasons why that doesn't make sense"
"YEP! THAT'S SPOCK'S BRAIN!"
"so this was a guest writer who never worked before or again, right?"
"no, it was Gene Coon. He wrote like 15 episodes, most of them pretty good, and went on to do some other scifi films. He's the guy who created Khan."
"why do you like Star Trek again?"
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Thinking more about this scene from HZ057, and how Sango and Onyx usually often argue, which we've seen a few times at this point in the series. Yet at that moment, Sango just let Onyx's "shut up" slide and didn't say anything. She didn't react to it and just seemed vaguely amused and smiled (because of the nickname use, too). At the beginning of the arc in HZ046, they both argued in front of Clavell and he called them out on their behavior and told them to be courteous and get along. So in comparison, it's interesting to me that Sango didn't start a fight right then and there or came up with a retort when we know she is not shy about these things and will voice her complaints if she has some. It almost feels mature of her, since it shows that she can let things go (maybe they are both actually trying to follow the principal's advice, or it was already a component of their relationship).
Either way, to me it feels meaningful that they have moments showing they won't hold things over each other. They can argue but they'll also go back to normal, and they won't nitpick every single word the other says.
#thought back about this moment and i think it gives them depth tbh#makes them feel well rounded. they are honest with each other and won't use fake words but they'll also let the little things go#sango doesn't get that angry either (something else i wanna write on eventually)#how do they have (almost) friede and orio levels of comfort#i'll wait to see if they argue more down the line but i really like that they have these casual moments#sango#onyx#hz057#character notes#episode notes
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➳ unintentionally (a boothill x gn!spouse!reader oneshot)
cw: major angst w/ open ending, reader has a bruise (unintentionally) from their ranger husband, accidental slap (also unintentional), established relationship, married au, lots of apologies and crying present here, ooc boothill (first time writing for him)
a/n: alright, as soon as i saw boothill for the first time, I was like "bet lemme write something for him". he's gonna be ooc cause 1. i didn't play the game yet (cries incompatible tablet) and 2. i am still learning the roots of this game's lore (and him once he's released) lol
!! fic contains sensitive topic, steer clear if this fic ain't your piece of cake !!
"darlin'?" a voice called out in the side of the storage room. "please come out, i-i didn't mean to hit you and im really sorry.." your husband called out for you softly to avoid scaring you further. his constant knocking and coercing you to come out lasted for 5 minutes, making you curl up further within the corner of the walls. "leave me alone.." you meekly spoke, voice still hoarse from your earlier cries as you held your bruised, swollen face.
his constant knocking just faded away as you sobbed, using your free hand to wipe away your snot and tears dripping from your face. if you just steer clear from him and not pestering him because of his anger, you wouldn't be hit and to be screamed by boothil to just leave him alone. you knew that your husband is like a dynamite, ready to explode at any moment due to his occupation. boothill assures you that he will never lay a hand on you, even when the both of you are either arguing or disagreeing over something that's simple and stupid.
but this day, he broke that one promise that kept you safe since the day he asked you out. just because of his anger towards that one outlaw who's on the run for weeks. almost captured but alas, his luck ran out once again as the prisoner kept on taunting him that he will never be caught by him.
boothill, on the other side of the door, won't give up as he waits for you to open the door and letting him treat your bruised lip and swollen cheek. he knows that it's not an excuse for him to let out such anger towards his spouse. guilt kept on creeping through his system, hearing you sobbing telling him to just leave you alone. "im sorry, sugar.." he sadly spoke, reluctantly returning to the sleeping quarters that the both of you shared.
at around 4:30 am, he quietly opens the door of the storage room and looks around to see if you are sleeping soundly; tear stains on your face, a bruised and swollen cheek, and using a rolled towel as your pillow. his heart shattered what he has done to you and knew that he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. he feared that there will be a day that you would leave him all by himself, all because of how he acted towards his own emotions and anger.
boothil scooped you into his arms as your head leaned towards his warm body. he knew that you liked it when you huddled close towards his chest as he placed a chaste kiss on your head. placing you on the shared bed, he cleans your bruises and places an ice pack on the side of you. he stared at your sleeping face for sometime before he murmurs soft apologies to you, even promising that he will never do again.
the soft light from the curtains woke you up from your sleeping slumber after the ordeal last night. 'strange..' you thought to yourself as you saw the ceiling of the bedroom you shared with your husband, not the plain white ceiling from the storage room where you seek safety during your husband's anger episode. you placed a hand on your bruised cheek and felt a small gauze on top of it and a bit of cold from the ice pack he placed on the side of your face last night.
you tried to get off the bed but felt a robotic arm wrapped around your waist. "no, no..." boothill softly murmurs. "five more minutes sugar, needin' you here right now.." a wave of anxiousness just came rushing towards you as you saw your husband on the bed with you, snuggling as he finally woke up from his sleep; his cropped jacket is gone and only had a pair of short as his sleeping attire, his hair smells like newly lit cigarettes from his trip to the saloon yesterday.
if you aren't anxious, you would be flustered of his appearance.
"mornin' sugar.." he softly spoke as he leans in to give you a kiss. afraid, you quickly jumped off the bed and quickly make a beeline for the storage room once again. "w-wait!" his quick reflexes caught your arm. "don't leave me, let's talk it here my love. I know what I did is unacceptable and I'm really sorry for hitting you." Silence looms within the bedroom as you eyes avoided his. "Please.." He pleaded, his eyes soften as guilt crept on his back.
it's up to you to decide of you should stay for him or choosing your own peace...
a/n: not my best work but hopefully you guys liked my take on boothill ( ◜‿◝ )♡
Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites. Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕
#cw slight violence#cw angst#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr boothill#honkai star rail#hsr angst#boothill x reader#boothill#boothill x you#boothill angst
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