#also I know I usually list everything out in the question but given how many are on this poll I'm just doing the options themselves

[adaptations-polls]

Which version of this do you prefer?

*obviously with comics there's lots and lots of different runs that can have wildly different qualities and everything which kind of complicates things, but as the source material it does need to be included on the poll- you can just think of this option as indicating a general preference for the comics stories instead of being attached to a specific Superman run in the comics

[xoxonyxx]

What Should've Been (Azriel x Reader)

A/N Apologies for any grammar mistakes. This hasn't been spellchecked. Also this isn't really a part 2 to What Once Was b/c it doesn't follow where WOW ended, it's more like a glimpse into the past when Azriel was falling for Y/N. Hope I break some hearts a little more. Enjoy.

It was during one of the times that Rhysand had brought both Cassian and Azriel back home to visit. He had been trying to tame the eagerness he felt at the thought of seeing you again which was no easy feat. Lately, Azriel had no control over his feelings when it came to you, his internal struggle wreaked havoc in his thoughts. You were Rhysand's little sister and a dear friend to him, one of the very few he had and he knew you deserved someone so much better than him. So he’d try to push down whatever inappropriate feelings he’d have and attempt to convince himself that the only reason his heart stumbled upon itself when he heard your voice was because he was overwhelmingly happy you were near as any friend would be. The list was endless of how many senseless and idiotic reasons he tried to convince himself of.

Obviously, it was an ongoing battle that he wouldn’t wager on being the victor of.

Unfortunately for him though, he hadn’t seen you last night when they had arrived due to it being so late already and this morning you had already been up and about before anyone in the house awoke. 

You had been gone all day but that hadn’t been odd as you were often off with your own friends usually getting into trouble or entertaining yourself outside of the castle when your father was in a foul mood. However, once you had missed dinner he had been tasked with finding you by your worried mother as she saw how the sun began to disappear and you still had yet to return. That’s how he found himself searching all of your favorite hideouts only to find you sitting near the edge of the lake surrounded by books, illuminated by lanterns all around you and the moonlight above. 

“So this is where you’ve been hiding all day.” He sighed as he approached you, watching as your concentration broke upon hearing him. 

You turned to him with a small glimmer in your eyes and a hint of a smile on your full lips, so small that if he were anyone else, he wouldn’t have noticed.

“If I had known you were missing my company, I would’ve made sure to not leave you all day Az. We all know how needy you can get when you’re not given the proper attention.” 

Gods, what he would do to see your smile but as of late you had seemed to carry around a bitter sadness in your eyes that he couldn’t figure out. And no matter how many times he or Rhysand and even Cassian asked, you shrugged it off and said nothing to shed light on the issue. 

“Well how about we try not to disappear for a whole day next time, can’t have me starved of your attention, princess.” He responded as he took a seat next to you on the grass, close enough to feel your warmth. His shadows immediately made their chaotic way to you, gliding up your arm as you reached out to caress them. He blushed as he tried to restrain the shadows and call them back to him. 

Giving up when he couldn’t gain control, he finally looked around at the mess of books surrounding you. “Looks like you took every book from the library. What are you up to?” 

You glanced down at the book you were holding on your lap before closing it shut, fully turning to face him causing him to do the same. His eyes trailing your face, appreciating the glow the stars and the moon shone upon you, committing the image to memory and thanking every being in the universe for allowing him to exist in your presence. 

“I’ll tell you as long as you promise to listen to everything I have to say first and ask questions once I’m done.” Curiosity filled him before he gave a nod allowing you to continue. “Ok well for the past month I’ve been collecting every scripture I could possibly find on anything written on Shadowsingers which was incredibly difficult might I add but I should’ve expected that considering how rare you are. Anyway, I tried to learn everything I could find on where your shadows come from and what they are, even on how they work which by the way they’re actually so incredible Az, you have no idea. I went down the rabbit hole and actually found out that although very difficult it’s possible to hide from them.” 

You paused for a second, taking in a nervous breath before looking into his eyes and continuing.

“ And I don’t know… I just thought that getting to know them would make them a little less terrifying to see them as a part of you?” He silently stared for a moment, taking in everything you had said until he finally spoke.

“You did this for me?” He asked, softness lacing his voice as he felt warmth flood through him. 

You gave a slight nod as you played with the rings on your fingers. 

“Why?” He had to ask, he had to know why you would put in all this effort for someone as undeserving as him.

You shifted slightly, reaching out to grab his hand, stroking his scarred hand as light as a feather and with the softest voice he’s ever heard from you up until today, you respond with an answer that sets his heart off racing. 

“You’re my friend Az, I’d do anything for you. And I just want you to see yourself as I see you. You think that no one notices but I do, I see how difficult it’s been for you to adapt to your shadows even after all these years and how desperate you are at hiding them at times and I want you to know that there’s no need. No need for the shame that fills your eyes whenever you catch a glimpse of your hands, no need for the embarrassment that you feel when you can’t control your shadows. There’s no need to hide, they’re a part of what makes you who you are and you as a whole are perfect Azriel.” 

His breath caught in his throat as emotion consumed him and from that moment on he knew that there was no coming back from loving you. He had never met a person with your heart, the heart that loved so fiercely and with so much passion that it could bring him to his knees. You would hold his own tainted heart in your hands until you decided you no longer wanted it and even then he wasn’t sure he had it in him to take it back. 

So for the rest of the night, you laid side by side underneath the stars explaining everything you had learned while he listened attentively, hoping you didn’t realize that you hadn’t let go of his hand yet. 

And as he rested his eyes upon you, determination flooded his veins and realization struck him. He could no longer be just friends with you. He could no longer pretend that he didn't burn with need to have you at his side, could no longer bring himself to forget that you were his very last thought before he drifted off into slumber and that it was you who consumed his every waking thought.

[hard-core-super-star]

i think i love you still [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x reader

summary: you've spent four years trying to understand the complicated mess of thoughts that make up kate bishop. after dealing with the pain of her absence, and the more significant pain of her return, you finally get it right.

warnings: none; light angst with happy ending; childhood best friends to idiots in love who are too stubborn to admit it; my writing style changing ever other paragraph

wordcount: 2.8k

a/n: this very loosely follows the events of hawkeye up until the day before the christmas party. it's also heavily inspired by babyblue by xana. you don't have to listen to it for the fic but it's an incredible song and i can't recommend it enough. enjoy! <3

* * * * * * *

People say absence makes the heart grow fonder but you call absolute bullshit on that.

Although to be fair, the problem isn’t the saying. The problem is Kate Bishop.

You’re definitely not the first person to think that, and you certainly won’t be the last considering the kind of person Kate is, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about it. Especially considering the years that have passed.

You��ve always given her the benefit of the doubt, not because you think she deserves it but because you would have driven yourself crazy from the amount of unanswered questions Kate left behind. Or more specifically, from the fact that she left you behind with no explanation.

Kate deciding to leave you and Bishop Security behind to go to university outside of the city wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was her refusing to tell you about her decision until the day she had to leave, making sure to tell you how unambitious she thought you were for taking the job her mom offered you as her secretary.

You still didn’t know what hurt more, her disappearing from your life or the insults she hurled your way before she left. Kate Bishop has many flaws and being an overachiever is definitely near the top of the list. Hence the amount of effort she put into shoving you out of her life.

It should have made working with her mom incredibly uncomfortable but Eleanor seemed to understand your pain better than you could have imagined. Being left behind by the young archer wasn’t an experience that was unique to just you and yet it didn’t make you miss her any less. You're usually good at ignoring the pain her absence left inside you but tonight is different. You look around the bustling party, the smallest of frowns on your face.

This was definitely the worst part of your job. You didn’t mind the long meetings, the stacks of reports you had to look through every day or even the miscellaneous tasks that Eleanor assigns you because you’re the only one who won’t complain about having to bring her another cup of coffee every few hours.

All of that was nothing compared to having to go to stupid galas with even stupider people. You’ll never understand why your boss insists on you accompanying her to every Bishop Security gala considering the lack of something to do. You have a sneaking suspicion it’s her way of trying to get you to interact with more people to hopefully find a way to get over Kate but you’ve never questioned her about it.

You catch sight of your boss while scanning the room for something to take your mind off a certain purple archer and she calls you over to her. You force a smile onto your face as you approach her. “Is everything okay?”

“You don’t have to sound so formal, y/n,” Eleanor says with a small smile. “We’re out of the office.”

“Right. My question still stands though.”

She affectionately rolls her eyes at your insistence. “Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted you to hear the news from me. Kate is home for the holidays…and she’s coming tonight.”

You force yourself not to react even though your first instinct is to run as far away as possible from the party. You try to be calm but your voice comes out a tad harsher than intended. “And I’m supposed to be interested in that information because?”

“Because she’s been looking your way since I called you over.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise and even though you really shouldn't do it, you lift your head up and scan the room for Kate Bishop. You don’t have to search for long. Even with the years gone by, your eyes are immediately drawn to her tall, suit-clad frame. She meets your eyes from across the room and you swear everyone else disappears until only the two of you remain. You notice the clench in her jaw even from this distance and you hate yourself for finding it extremely attractive.

Some things never change.

“You should go talk to her.”

You tear your gaze away from Kate to stare incredulously at Eleanor for even suggesting that. “I’d rather get fired than spend five minutes with her.”

“Then you’re lucky we’re not at work,” she says with a playful glare. “Come on, y/n, how long has it been since you’ve seen her?”

She already knows the answer. She was the one you called to pick you up from Grand Central Station after Kate left you behind to chase after…whatever it is she was hoping to find out there. You’re not sure if you’re hoping she found it or not.

“That doesn’t matter. She’s visited New York how many times since she started college?” You let the question hang in the air for a few seconds to avoid sounding as bitter as you feel. “And how many times did she come to see me?”

The older Bishop woman raises her hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I get it. I won’t push. Just think about it?”

She walks away from you with a small smile, probably going off to find Jack to tell him all about yet another failed attempt at getting you and Kate back on speaking terms again.

When you turn back, Kate’s gone and you do your best to ignore the ache her absence leaves inside you.

You decide to go back to your apartment a few minutes later which means you successfully miss the drama that unfolds. What you don’t miss is the news report recounting the events or the text from Eleanor telling you you don’t have to go to the office for the next few days. You find it strange but you’re not about to say no to some much-needed time off.

That does mean you miss Kate’s surprising return to Bishop Security which leaves you completely unprepared when she shows up at your door with a ridiculous request and an even more ridiculous outfit.

“I need you to take care of my dog for a few hours.”

That’s the first thing she says when you open your door. No greeting. No apology. No explanation as to why she has the audacity to ask you for a favor after avoiding you like the plague for almost four full years.

Unfortunately for you, your anger is momentarily forgotten at the sight of the adorable golden retriever standing happily at the brunette’s side. “Since when do you have a dog?”

“Since last night,” she replies with a shrug. “I saw him outside of the party yesterday and my heart wouldn’t let me leave him behind.”

You have no doubt that she was trying to be cute with that reply but all it does is make you remember all the reasons why you should slam the door in her face. She seems to read your mind just from the shift in your facial expressions because she ‘accidentally’ lets go of the dog’s leash and lets him run straight into your apartment.

“Listen, I can explain, and I will, just not right now. But I promise you it’s important.”

Of course.

You were kidding yourself if you thought Kate had actually changed. It’s always been this way with her. There’s always something to chase that’s infinitely more important than you. So important, in fact, that she can’t even stop for five seconds to explain what the hell is going on.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Kate.” There’s a flash of something in her eyes, maybe it’s regret or maybe it’s disappointment, but it’s gone just as fast as it came. She opens her mouth to say something but you interrupt her before she can dig herself into a deeper hole. Yet another habit that you’re sure she hasn’t learned to break. “It’s fine, just go.”

She hesitates for a second before giving you a small nod and walking away. You watch her go just like all the other times before. Except this time there’s an excitable dog waiting inside your apartment. You try not to think about how badly you wish the furry companion by your side was Kate instead as you go about your day.

To no one’s surprise, you don’t hear from the archer for the rest of the day. You would be disappointed if you weren’t so used to it. At least this time, Kate’s broken promises only result in you having to take care of the golden retriever, who you’ve affectionately started calling Lucky, and nothing else…or so you think.

It’s not until late morning the next day that your door receives another urgent knock. Lucky immediately reacts, jumping down from the couch and running over to the door, his tail wagging rapidly as if he can tell his new owner is waiting on the other side. You chuckle despite yourself before following after him. “I don’t think you’re getting this dog back, Kate.”

The smile on your face disappears once you take in her appearance. Her face is littered with small cuts and you can see the outline of a bruise forming on the side of her jaw. Your eyebrows furrow the longer you look at her but the answer is given to you by the purple costume she’s wearing. Even without a bow in her hand, it’s obvious what her outfit represents and you can literally feel your heart sink into the depths of your stomach.

“y/n-”

“No. Save it.” There’s a mix of concern and frustration in your tone but you don’t have nearly enough time to figure out which feeling is stronger. “Just take your dog and go.”

“I can’t,” she says, tinges of desperation painting her voice. “I owe you an explanation.”

You scoff. “Oh, you owe me much more than that. You have no idea what the last four years have been like for me.”

The brunette takes a step forward, clearly asking a silent question. “Then tell me what I’m missing. Help me make it right.”

“I’m not a stupid Avengers mission, Kate!” You hate the way your voice breaks under the weight of your repressed emotions. “If you're looking for someone to save, you're in the wrong place. I don't need you. Not anymore.”

You're ready for that to be the end of the conversation and you reach out to grab hold of Lucky’s leash. You're about to hand the leash over to Kate when her next words stop you in your tracks.

“What if I need you?”

You stare at her with wide eyes almost not believing what you've just heard. Four years of silence and absence. That's what it took to hear those words you've desperately longed for.

But it's not enough.

“You're a little too late.”

She wants to fight back against your words. You know her well enough to recognize that spark of determination in her eyes. Despite what you've just said, a part of you hopes that's what she's going to do. That this time she’ll fight for you.

Instead, all you get is a mumbled apology as she snatches Lucky’s leash and walks away again. You shouldn't have expected anything different…but you did. You expected whatever mess she seems to be in to be more than enough motivation to fix what happened between the two of you.

Kate Bishop is many things but predictable isn’t one of them.

The next few days go by far too slowly for your liking. Eleanor denies your request to go back to work (multiple times) and without a place to travel to for the holidays, you’re stuck in the one place you’d rather not be. You don’t think there’s a single corner of New York that won’t remind you of the one person you don’t want to spend any more time thinking about.

It’s not until the day before the Christmas party, a party you helped arrange even though it’s definitely not a part of your job description, that you run into the purple archer once again. Or more specifically, she runs into you.

You’re on your way out of your apartment despite the heavy rain that falls outside. You open your door expecting to be met with an empty hall only to find a soaking-wet Kate Bishop standing on your doorstep, looking like the world’s largest golden retriever. You do your best to ignore the way your heart skips a beat just from the mere sight of her. It takes a few seconds for you to get over your shock but you manage to find your voice. “Kate? What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, I know I’m the last person you want to see right now.”

You briefly consider slamming the door shut in her face but decide against it. For the moment. “That didn’t answer the question, Bishop.”

“I just…” She sighs. “I had to see you again.”

“So you decided to walk here in the pouring rain?” You’re stuck between wanting to call her an idiot and wanting to admit how cute she looks. Yeah, you’re still a sucker for her puppy dog eyes.

“I know I don’t deserve another chance after everything I’ve done but please. I can’t keep this inside any longer. I need to talk to you.”

A long moment of silence goes by before you make up your mind. You might be signing yourself up for more disappointment but you have too many unanswered questions to let her walk away again.

“Come in before you catch a cold,” you say as you open the door wider for her.

She wastes no time in complying and you’re almost certain the shakiness of her hands has less to do with the rain and more to do with her nerves. You take a deep breath to calm your racing heart before shutting the door and following after her.

She stands awkwardly in the middle of your living room, her eyes scanning every picture frame and random poster that adorns your walls. You can tell the realization she comes to by the subtle slouch of her shoulders. There’s not a single thing in your living room that carries the memory of her. No pictures, no posters, no trace of the role she played in your life at some point.

“Let me get you a towel or something.” You start to walk away but a hand on your wrist stops you. You let her turn you around, not putting up any sort of fight as she pulls you in closer to her.

You wait for her to say something but all she does is stare into your y/e/c eyes, her grip on your wrist tightening ever so slightly. You can practically see every thought that flickers through her mind and you want nothing more than to spend the rest of the day deciphering the walking contradiction of feelings that make up who she is.

“y/n…” Her voice trails off as her blue eyes travel down your face. You’ve never seen that look before but you’re almost certain you know what it means. And it makes your head spin. “I shouldn’t have walked away. Not the first time, not the last time. But I…I’m so afraid of hurting you. Again. I thought dealing with my feelings would be easier if I was away from you but I was wrong. All it did was make you a stranger and you have no idea how much I regret that. How badly I want to make things right between us because I…I love you. I always have. And I can't go another second without you knowing that.”

You’re stuck between who you’ve been and who you want to be.

You’ve spent the better part of four years cursing Kate for leaving you, regretting the love you couldn’t help but foster for her, wishing she had never stepped foot into your life. But now…with her standing in front of you, looking at you with sincere eyes strong enough to make any other girl weak in the knees, you accept the truth you’ve been pushing away for so long.

You don’t blame Kate for leaving. You don’t regret the years you spent by her side. You don’t wish you never met her. You don’t hate her.

You love her.

It’s been that way since the day you met her and no amount of stupid mistakes or misunderstandings can ever change that. Hell, not even both of your stubborn personalities could change it.

“Say something,” she whispers. “Please.”

She leans in toward you. It’s a small move but you pick up on it immediately. Your breath catches in your throat before you do the only thing you can think of.

You close your eyes and take a leap, trusting Kate to catch you.

And she does. For the first time, you embrace the uncertainty that makes up your strained relationship and she doesn’t leave you hanging. She meets you halfway and the feeling of her lips against yours holds a promise you know she’ll fight tooth and nail to keep. She's not leaving.

This time, and every time from here on out, she's staying. And that's all that matters.

[not-5-rats]

Holy shoot it's been a while but here we are again ig

Bug Army Questions/ Scenarios! Also quick warning but I really do ramble on here sorry <3

(The new au talk gave me some ideas lol)

1) Smth that makes them cry like instantly?

2) Modern! AU

What's their go-to cinema/ theatre snack?

3) Opinion on velvet? (the fabric)

4) Yandere AU! (Check @strayharmony943 acc for list of Yandere Bugs/ the obsessed/ to enlist ur Bug)

For the Yandere Bugs: who are they obsessed with? why?

For the Bugs being obsessed over: how do they feel abt smbdy being obsessed with them?

For the rest of the Army: how do they support those who are being obsessed over?

5) Scenario #1 - back to Yandere AU! :D

Bug had noticed that Chester's behaviour had been slightly odd recently. He hadn't spent much time out of his room, Bug doesn't remember the last time they spoke, the biggest pointer that something was up was the flower beds...all the flowers were dead. He hadn't even come out to water them

Bug decided they would go check in on him, just to see if he was okay...if he was even alive. They knocked on his door, no response, they knock3e again, still nothing, so they announced that they were coming in and pushed the door open

Chester had been staring into a wardrobe but as soon as Bug entered the room he roughly pulled a the door of said wardrobe shut, hiding whatever was in there from view. He turned quickly to look at them. His eyes were bloodshot and wild yet he tried to regain his composure.

"*Bug*! What are you doing in here?"

It wasn't till now that Bug got a true look at the room...it was a mess? Chester was usually so well put together, so neat, so pristine but now there were clothes everywhere, grime/ dust covered every surface, dead plants surrounding the entire area...what tf happened?

Chester is staring at Bug waiting for their answer as they try to silently usher them out of his room

6) Continuing from Scenario #1

It had been a few days since Bug had went to check on Chester, they had failed to find out what was in that wardrobe but today they seemed to have found a way

Nobody knows where he went but Chester suddenly dissapeared from the house and Bug decided to take the chance and find out what's om the wall. They knew he could be back any moment so they had to act fast.

They snuck into the room, being mindful that Chester may have set up some sort of trap to harm those who came in when he was gone...luckily there wasn't anything. They cautiously made their way over to the wardrobe, pulled it open and....

Photos, poems, flowers, gifts...what? They stared at the wall until they finally realised what they were looking at, a shrine. They picked up one of the many photos that lay there, it was a photo of Duarte training in the forest nearby...they didn't seem aware that the photo was taken, they looked at another Ulysseus playing their flute to some of the Baby Bugs.

As they scanned the rest of the contents of the wardrobe they found that everything linked back to those two, the photos were all of them, (if there was smbdy else in the picture they were scribbled over in bold, black ink) the poems all abt them, flowers with labels describing why they reminded Chester of the two, letters addressed to them and gifts they had given him/ gifts he intended to give to them.

Holy shit...he was watching them, constantly. He was fucking obsessed with them!

What do they do with this new, sparkling information?

☆---------------☆

Huge thank you to Duarte/ @puffin-smoke and Ulysseus/ @lunaritychuwolf for sacrificing their Bug to this awful fate <3

Tags -

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii @insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow @rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf @littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos @threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry @lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin @reefhastoomanyaccs

[accirax]

DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better and Worse

The following is an ask sent to me that, while numerically present in my inbox, is invisible and inaccessible, and thus, I was only able to read it through its corresponding notification email. Tumblr be a functional website challenge; level impossible.

What a great question! Up to this point, I’ve been more of an AU enjoyer than an AU creator (other than the BNHA thing), so this will be an exciting foray into the realm of possibility! The task of creating both the best and worst outcome also provides a lot to think about when it comes to characterization. I’m excited to get talking about this! But first, some rules.

(And the usual CW for DRDT spoilers, as well as mentions of murder, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and implied homo/transphobia. You know, standard business for DRDT secret discussion.)

To keep things simple, I’m going to be assuming that the true owners of the secrets are as follows:

While I’m by no means asserting that this interpretation of whose secret is whose is 100% accurate, it’s what I see widely agreed upon by the fandom, and what I currently believe myself. Having to factor in a bunch of different permutations of secret distribution seemed terribly complicated, so I decided to avoid it. If anybody disagrees with where I’ve placed any of the secrets, please just consider it as another facet of the alternate universe.

Additionally, I’ve kept up the “rule” that no one is allowed to receive their own secret. I’m also assuming that everything is the same up until when MonoTV hands out the motives, such that Xander and Min are still dead. However, a different distribution of secrets could have changed the details of the Chapter 2 murder, so I kinda have to speak about it in hypotheticals. I was just talking about how I didn’t want to make things needlessly complicated, so I’m not throwing in a bunch of speculation about how the secrets may have factored into the AU killer’s motives when I can’t even say for certain who the canonical killer was.

I also decided to interpret the prompt as “what’s the best/worst overall shuffle” as opposed to “who is the best/worst recipient for each individual secret.” The latter seemed like it might repeat characters too many times, and “the ch2 secrets [getting] swapped in a different way” implied to me that each character was still limited to receiving one secret. Hopefully that’s what you were going for with your ask!

Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get started with the best case scenario, given that I think that’ll be easier. I’ll go through the characters’ secrets in the order they’re listed in on the board, so that it’ll hopefully be easier to follow along.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

If someone was going to have remorse for the remorseless killer, I think it would be Eden. Even if the concept of someone killing in cold blood might frighten Eden, the pair is already off to a good start with the conversation they shared at the beginning of Chapter 2. Eden knows a bit more about Levi’s family situation (which may have been the cause of his callous killing) and how he is trying to be a good person, even if he feels like he might be failing. Compared to others in the cast, I feel like Eden might be more willing to hear Levi out.

Specifically, we know from canon that (under David’s encouragement, at least) Eden planned to share her secret– which was a pretty severe one already– in a closed environment with just her and the secret’s owner. Of course, we haven’t yet seen from canon how Levi would react to getting assigned this secret, so it’s possible he could flip out in a similar manner to how Arturo did when Eden confronted him. However, I think there’s a good chance that he would be more resigned or neutral, which might also give Eden hope that he isn’t a lost cause… again, under the assumption that he isn't. This secret does have a chance of backfiring, but I’m making the choice to have faith in Levi– much like I think Eden would if she saw his secret!

Nico receives David’s secret

Now this is kind of an unconventional one, but, hear me out.

I don’t know if there really is a “good option” for David’s secret in the sense that I think anyone who would choose to reveal the information to the group would be the type to do so in an accusatory, non-constructive way. Similarly, a lot of people who wouldn’t reveal the secret might face problems if it caused them to quietly simmer in their distrust. That suppression of emotions could lead to a big blow up in the future.

Because of that, you might be wondering why I didn’t assign this secret to one of my throwaway slots– namely, Xander, Min, or Rose. Well, it’s because I also wanted to consider what would happen if, even in this good universe, some number of students still needed to attend a Class Trial where the secrets are unknown. Certain secrets, if left unassigned, would lead to paranoia and distrust amongst the students. And, by throwing this secret away, this secret could basically never be confirmed as David’s other than by process of elimination or (highly unlikely) self-assignment. Therefore, all of the students would have to assume that anyone whose secret isn't known has a decent chance of believing that everyone exists to be manipulated. In my opinion, that would make productively discussing a murder really difficult.

So, I decided that the best course of action would be to give this secret to the person who would make the smallest deal out of it, and that turned out to be Nico. Nico already believes that socially interacting with other humans is a complicated and confusing process, the rules of which force you into expressing yourself in a specific, “acceptable” way. Basically, I think that Nico might already see a lot of conversation as manipulation, and themselves as the manipulee. The secret says that David is really good at interpreting those rules and acing the bullet points of “acceptable” conversation? No shit, he’s the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

I’m not trying to say that Nico is “dumb” enough to not realize that this secret is generally threatening, but I think that, if word of it were to come out, Nico would present it in a subdued enough manner that it wouldn’t make things worse than they need to be.

Hu receives Ace’s secret

Oh boy, this is a dangerous choice given Ace and Hu’s tumultuous relationship. Although, to be fair, I don’t remember exactly how established that rivalry was prior to the distribution of the canonical secrets. To the extent that they didn’t already hate each other to the point of no return, I chose this one because I think that Hu having the context of Ace’s secret might actually help to mend their relationship.

As I said up top, this AU is predicated on Hu having the “hopeless child” secret. Thus, in this AU, we can say for certain that Hu has a prior history of self harm/self destructive tendencies. If hopeless child Hu does turn out to be canon, it would support the theory that part of the reason why Hu won’t share the “harm yourself for fun” secret is because she knows that mental health is a sensitive subject, and doesn’t want to force someone to open up about it. Given that eating disorders are a form of self harm, we can rest assured that this isn’t a secret Hu would share, no matter how much David suggests that she does.

Given Hu’s history, she might be one of the people in this cast who could best understand Ace’s plight. With this additional context, his quest for power over something in his life might feel more sympathetic, and Hu might be able to muster more concern for him. And, I’m not gonna lie, part of this assignment was granted in the slim hope that the Ultimate Mom Friend Hu would be able to make a big grandma-style meal for Ace to enjoy. They could be an improbably wholesome duo if not for… The Circumstances.

Those circumstances won’t fade anytime soon in canon, but exploring hypotheticals like this are the whole reason why AUs exist!

J receives Eden’s secret

Compared to everyone else, Eden’s secret is a pretty nonthreatening one that, especially among this pretty queer cast, shouldn’t raise a whole lot of issues. The biggest problem I can see arising from it is if someone decided to out Eden, sort of like what happened to Nico. Therefore, I wanted to give Eden’s secret to someone who would be unlikely to share it without Eden giving the okay. And, J seemed to fit that description pretty well.

Obviously, some of J’s canon behavior was spurred on by the fact that Arturo non-consensually revealed her secret (which, spoilers, will not be happening in the blessed half of this AU). But, given J’s preference for privacy, I don’t think J would jump to sharing even a “harmless” secret. We directly saw that J only revealed Charles’ secret once he gave express permission for her to do so, which is what I would ideally want for Eden. Eden’s secret being given to a girl who would presumably be cool with her lesbianism is an added bonus to assuage her fears that (straight) girls who know she’s gay wouldn’t want to be her friend.

Unless, of course, J is also a girlkisser… then maybe the motive secrets could turn into a meet-cute…….. (/j)

Rose receives J’s secret

Finally, our first throwaway slot. After what J’s been through, I think she deserves to have her secret not be a topic of discussion at all– or at least not until all of them are listed out on the board.

There is also some logic behind which secret I gave to Rose as opposed to Xander or Min. We didn’t really see this in canon, but if Whit had let his secret go unclaimed, I could see some people being mad at Rose for inadvertently throwing away valuable information. This sentiment would only increase if Rose’s secret was something more relevant to the case at hand. Like, could you imagine how mad Teruko would have been if Rose had received the “murderer without remorse” secret? They could have had the answer to which person among them was a murderer without remorse, but Rose just carelessly threw it away because she was worried about people’s privacy?!

Therefore, I think the best case scenario for Rose is to receive one of the low-stakes secrets. In the case of J’s secret, it’s possible that someone like Arturo would be able to figure out that it was J’s secret without any confirmation from Rose as long as he had the information that someone in the cast was Mariabella’s daughter. No harm, no foul if Rose throws out the secret only for it to be instantly solvable anyway.

By giving J’s secret to Rose, J gets the blessing of privacy for as long as the secrets don’t become public knowledge, but Rose also doesn’t garner any backlash if they do, for one reason or another.

“Xander” receives Arei’s secret

Just to clarify, there isn’t any meaning behind which secret Xander vs Min got; they both just mean that the secret is un-confirmable.

Arei’s secret is a good one to bury because of how easily it can be misinterpreted. From the phrasing of the secret, nobody would know that Arei’s sisters abused her unless Arei told them herself, and without that context, Arei appears quite villainous. Hell, some people believe that learning of this secret was a reason why Levi would have chosen to kill Arei! If this information about Arei just isn’t out there to be known, then nobody could make that fatal oversight.

Also, Arei already knew what the vague contents of her secret would be, presumably without having seen the actual text. In Ace’s flashback, she quotes David’s secret from memory (because she read it), but when she unveils her own secret, she throws in the detail about reform school which isn’t at all present in the secret’s text. I think it was really important for Arei’s development that she had the agency to reveal her secret at her own pace. By making her secret inaccessible, it removes the possibility that someone else would reveal it before she’s emotionally ready.

Arturo receives Min’s secret

Look at me, pairing Arturo and Min together yet again. What is it about these two that causes me to keep coupling them…? Well, at least this time, they’re paired up because they, like, never talk in canon.

Arturo has proven himself to be a problem when it comes to revealing secrets. Even if he hadn’t been handed Miss Rosales’ dirty laundry, I would believe that he would air out the secrets of whichever nobody he learned about simply due to disrespect. Therefore, I think that giving Arturo a secret that really doesn’t matter is the best course of action. Whether he reveals it on the day the motives were distributed or the day of the Class Trial, most people probably wouldn’t make much of a fuss about an already-dead student’s secret, least of all Arturo. If he doesn’t care about what Min was up to, he wouldn’t stir up any drama by revealing or concealing information.

David receives Xander’s secret

Not gonna lie, I mostly gave this one to David as a form of damage control. I don’t know what he’s going to do with the secret he did canonically receive in the future– whether it belongs to Teruko or someone else, or whether he’s dying immediately or in it for the long haul– but giving David the silver bullet of “the killing game is all your fault” seems like way too much power to hand over. With a dead student’s secret, he doesn’t gain much by telling the truth or have much of a basis to execute a good lie.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that David received Xander’s secret, which is all about the tragically heroic backstory that probably led him to find comfort in David’s speeches in the first place. (And it does paint Xander in a decently positive light– “it wasn’t your fault” erases the possibility that Xander killed his family or whatever.) I imagine that, had David received this secret on the first day, basically a little buffering symbol would appear over his head and he would have to go lie down and stare at the piece of paper for a few hours. Or days.

By distracting David, we can hopefully avoid any of the decidedly negative side effects that him attempting to deduce and reveal everyone else’s secrets caused. While everyone else is growing as a person and whatnot, David can just be… looping the Literature Girl Insane MV in his head, or something. Is that really good for him? Probably not, but these are the heights you can reach when you set out to cause problems.

Arei receives Whit’s secret

Arei already didn’t reveal whose secret she had to anyone, as far as we know. So, if she had the secret belonging to Whit, arguably her closest friend at the start of Chapter 2, I really don’t think she would say anything. That’s good for Whit, because, similar to what I said about Arei herself, I think it’s better for him to have the ability to come forth with his secret when the time is right. Anything else and it might shake up his persona too suddenly and send him fight or flight mode.

I think the biggest potential flaw here is that we don’t know how Arei felt about her mom. Arei is willing to go confront other people about their secrets, so if Arei either really loved or really hated her mom, maybe that would lead her to go confront Whit about what his secret meant. And then, that could lead into him deflecting and looking shady.

That’s not really a huge liability to me, though, so I think this one will be fine.

Veronika receives Charles’ secret

Veronika is a weird case, because whether or not she reveals a secret seems to be based solely on entertainment value. In canon, we’ve seen that she hasn’t yet revealed the “hopeless child” secret because, for whatever reasons, she thinks that’ll make the killing game more interesting. But presumably, if she thought that revealing someone’s secret would make the game more interesting instead, she would have done that.

Because Charles doesn’t remember his brother’s death himself, I don’t think Veronika would see much value in holding it over his head, saving it for a dramatic reaction down the road, or whatever the hell she was trying to accomplish by not revealing Hu’s secret. Therefore, I think Veronika would find it most entertaining to see Charles’ reaction to learning about his amnesia, and tell him pretty quickly.

On the surface, that seems bad. However, I actually think that Charles learning about his secret is… for the best? If you assume that Charles is going to have to learn about this factoid someday, it’s probably better for him if he does it before a Class Trial is called, so that he can be in a more stable mental state. It’s also better for him to do it while he has Whit there to support him, and who knows what could happen between those two in future chapters? Much like Arturo’s assignment, we defuse Veronika’s chaotic power with this one, with the added benefit of potentially helping Charles on his journey to self-understanding.

Levi receives Arturo’s secret

Arturo’s secret was a hard one, because I think most people would react to it pretty negatively, especially with the confirmation that it belongs to Arturo of all people from the start. You could leave it with Eden as someone who seemingly didn’t judge, but given how poorly that situation played out in canon, it felt wrong to leave it in her hands.

Therefore, I gave it to someone who could potentially relate: Levi. He, too, came from a tense family background which he had to leave, and as such, he might better be able to put himself in Arturo’s shoes. While it is possible that Levi could resent Arturo for “ruining” a “good(?)” relationship with his sister (given how Levi struggled to coexist with his siblings), I don’t think it would irk Levi so much that he’d take drastic action against Arturo.

At the very least, we saw that Levi didn’t spill the beans about Arei’s similarly anti-sister secret. By that logic, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it, possibly including Arturo. In that case, we avoid Arturo blowing up on whoever was unlucky enough to have to break the news. And, even if Levi did tell Arturo, and Arturo decided to attack, I trust that even an injured Levi could defend himself far better than Eden could.

Ace receives Veronika’s secret

I just don’t think anything particularly bad would happen here. When I imagine Ace receiving this secret, I kinda just think of him going, “what the fuck?!”, and then putting the paper away. As someone who cares immensely about his own safety and image, I can definitely see this secret confusing Ace, but I don’t think to a point where it would really mess him up. It might make him think that Veronika is dangerous and weird, but… well, he already thought that.

Speaking of, especially with this information, Ace is too afraid of Veronika to try to bully her in the same way that he did with Nico. I don’t see any reason why Ace would benefit from revealing this secret, so it would likely remain hidden, which is probably for the best. Honestly, I don’t know if Veronika would care if this secret of hers got out, given that the main reason why people think this is hers is because of the similar sentiments that she already shared with Teruko in a public location. But, regardless, it takes away any ammo Ace might have by making his only target someone who he’s too afraid to take shots at.

Teruko receives Hu’s secret

Completing our little triad of sadness, this is the third instance of me giving a secret involving self harm to someone else who engages in self destructive practices– first Hu with Ace, then Ace with Veronika, and now Teruko with Hu. It obviously sucks that there are so many people in this cast who are struggling with this same issue, but I think it works out well to have them overlap. They’re probably the ones who best grasp the severity of each other’s problems, so they understand the gravity of sharing the information and would take steps to avoid doing that unnecessarily.

But, yeah, there wasn’t much of a reason beyond that for me to assign Teruko here. As a further extrapolation of the above point, though, if Teruko decided to ask Hu about her secret in the same way that she did with Rose, maybe Teruko could provide Hu some comfort about the situation and they could become friends.

Although, thinking about it more, that would actually have a decent chance of backfiring, as Hu might not appreciate having to take on the role of the helped as opposed to the helper, and Teruko might freak out if she felt herself letting her walls down around Hu. But that’s only if Teruko chose to talk to her about it, which is dubious in the first place. I don’t think Teruko would intentionally use this as any sort of weapon against Hu, which is the main criteria I was looking for.

Charles receives Rose’s secret

More unproblematic people being unproblematic. I don’t know if anything weird would happen as Charles’ upper-class upbringing came into contact with Rose’s cash-strapped past, but if it did, it would probably be a positive development for Charles. Y’know, like “realizing that it’s not only wealthy academics who can have talent” or “further learning to recognize his privilege and have sympathy for other people.” Much like what Charles canonically did with Eden’s secret, this one would probably go under the public radar until a Class Trial occurred, at which point Charles would reveal it. And, hey, that’s kind of like Rose’s secret’s canonical fate as well.

I also don’t think that we’d run into any trouble with Teruko possibly learning this one from the note that Charles passed her either, because… again, this was Teruko’s canonical secret, and nothing bad happened. Sometimes no reaction is the sweetest reaction of all.

Whit receives Nico’s secret

Yup, like you implied, Whit receiving Nico’s secret would probably be one of the best options for them. It’s not too much of a surprise. Whit seems to be a pretty securely out bi guy, so he would obviously support of Nico’s identity, and possibly even be someone Nico could look up to for being confident in who they are. On top of that, Whit greatly values privacy, and thus wouldn’t go around immediately shouting, “wow, Nico, it’s so awesome that you’re nonbinary!” He’d only do that if Nico wanted him to, after asking them first. I’m not even sure if Whit would contact Nico about it directly, but even if he didn’t, I feel like Whit would try to find ways to subtly encourage Nico so that they would feel safe coming out themselves. At least, that’s what my bias is telling me.

As a side note, I’m still playing with the rule that Arei sees whatever Whit’s secret is over his shoulder, which is actually what gave Nico’s secret the nod here over Eden’s. We saw that Ace, along with some others, were confused about what exactly the text of Nico’s secret meant. Meanwhile, if attached to Eden, her secret is pretty explicitly about her being sexually attracted to women, and therefore homosexual. I’m not at all calling Arei homophobic (in fact, the concept of doing so makes me very uncomfortable, so please don’t joke about it), but given that the two had been fighting beforehand, it’s possible that Arei would have tried to use the content of Eden’s secret against her somehow (but again, not in a homophobic way).

At the very least, Arei would know something about Eden that Eden might not want her to know, which is bad. I’m not sure if Arei would inherently understand Nico’s secret enough to gain anything of use from it, while Whit and his intuition would definitely understand what’s going on.

“Min” receives Teruko’s secret

Here we go; our other throwaway secret! Part of the appeal of leaving this one in the dark is because… well, we don’t know if it’s true. While the secret doesn’t explicitly state that its owner is the mastermind of the killing game, it’s definitely designed to make you think that’s the case. And, uh, I don’t know if Teruko is the mastermind or not. I recently wrote 1000 words about it, which is equal to one picture.

So, let’s explore both avenues. If Teruko isn’t the mastermind, then sharing this secret around is obviously bad. It would cause people to unwarrantedly distrust Teruko, and possibly even cause Teruko to distrust herself. That could impede the progress of Class Trials, if people don’t trust Teruko’s reasoning anymore, and the progress of deducing the actual mastermind. Therefore, by taking this secret out of circulation, we stop the misinformation from spreading.

Alternatively, if Teruko is the (evil) mastermind, then… aren’t I doing a disservice by not allowing the students to encounter this information? Well, yes, and no. I am preventing them from accessing the deus ex machina of David just outright saying, “oh, and by the way, Teruko is the mastermind!”; that much is true. But, by leaving that information out… aren’t I just leaving them in the same position that most killing game casts are in? They know that one of them is the mastermind, they just don’t know who. And, actually, they have a leg up on the other casts because the mastermind’s identity would still be a logically deducible fact that they could basically confirm if they all worked together. I don’t think it’s too much of a blow to the innocent students if we leave this one out, is what I’m saying.

So, that’s the good ending! A quick graphic to show how everything shook out:

(I swear, I didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Nico’s identity. I just reused the sprites from my archetype analysis because I was too lazy to go get new ones…)

Now, on to the bad ending. This one was a lot harder to assign. Given that these secrets were meant to sow discord, there are only so many ways that things can play out well. There are lots of ways that things can play out poorly.

But, hopefully I’ve found the aggregate worst answer! Given that this is, you know… the one where things go horribly wrong, things may get pretty dark in this section, so proceed with caution. Nobody’s going to die or anything like that, but know that your faves may not be depicted in the most positive light in this section. Grab something comforting and put on some happy music, or lean hard into the angst, ‘cause we’re about to get started.

The Bad Timeline

Ace receives Levi’s secret

Look. I 100% agree that the whole Ace/Nico situation is a Major Yikes Situation /pos. However, I’m hopeful (in the sense of trying to craft the worst possible outcome) that we could still get a More or Less Yikes Situation even without the pair obtaining each others’ secrets.

Although Ace revealing that he was in possession of Nico’s secret closely preceded Nico’s death threat, that wasn’t actually what specifically led Nico to intimidate Ace. It was Ace’s comment that Nico was such a weakling that they could only solve their problems by getting people like David to help them, as well as the culmination of several days of Ace’s torment beginning in Chapter 1, which led them to do it. What I’m saying is, Ace and Nico were already rivals before the secrets even came out, so even without the direct connection to one another via the motive, it’s possible the high tensions would still cause similar events to unfold.

All that preamble hopefully helps to justify my choice to put Ace on Levi’s secret, because, my god, you can open a whole other can of worms with this one. Ace gaining the knowledge that Levi is a killer without remorse the day after Levi threatened to kill him would freak Ace out like nothing else. Being as loud as he is, I would think that Ace wouldn’t be able to stop himself from sharing this one with the class, starting a conflict right from the start.

While do I think the other students would believe Ace in the end– especially if he showed them the paper on which Levi’s name was printed– I also think that some people might doubt Ace’s words at first, thinking he’s overexaggerating as usual. However, that moment of being Boy Who Cried Wolf-ed by everyone else would also really fuck with Ace. He’s literally right, and has the paperwork to prove it, and yet people are still disinclined to believe him because they see him as a fool. It would draw an even deeper wedge between Ace and his classmates than we saw in canon.

Tying back around to the beginning, I think that this extra layer of powerlessness would just make Ace even more inclined to seek out a feeling of power elsewhere. So, I’m thinking that would still result in Ace bullying Nico, and, assuming he still keeps it up for long enough and calls Nico a weakling, we might be able to loop back around to Nico’s death threat anyway. Major Yikes Situation not averted!

Veronika receives David’s secret

Here’s a chaotic choice. Given how open-ended and accusatory David’s secret is, I definitely think it’s one that Veronika would have chosen not to reveal. However, just because she doesn’t want to reveal it doesn’t mean that the information won’t get out… in a way.

We’ve seen time and time again that Veronika is fascinated with morally questionable people, first with Arturo and later David himself once she knew about his secret. Therefore, if she knew about David’s secret from the start, I don’t think she would be able to stop herself from following him around and making some clever comments here and there. Can you imagine how concerning it would be to watch David try to give hope speeches and guide people while Veronika is peering over his shoulder and grinning at him, refusing to elaborate?

It would definitely be worrying, but I don’t think it would fully stop everyone from listening to him– but in this case, that’s a good thing! David’s tactics wound up causing more harm than good, so it was important for me to give his secret to someone who wouldn’t call him out immediately and stop him from enacting these bad policies. Veronika is a great choice for allowing that to happen, but also causing a lot of stress and doubt speculating as to what exactly Veronika could know about David that would make her act this way. Honestly, it might be the worst for David himself…

Levi receives Ace’s secret

This one isn’t that terrible on its own, but in the context of Ace also having Levi’s secret, I think it gets pretty hairy. I can’t really see any scenario where Levi knowing Ace’s greatest secret goes over well for them. If Ace blows up at Levi right out the gate, there’s a definite possibility that Levi can’t keep his cool and winds up firing off Ace’s secret in front of everyone else as retaliation. Betraying Ace’s trust like that (even if Ace was the one to mouth off first) would make their relationship even more unsalvageable.

Even if Levi did manage to keep his mouth shut, knowing Ace’s secret would just generally make it harder for Levi to talk to Ace when explaining himself or trying to make amends. Like I discussed with Hu in the good timeline, there’s a lot you can learn about Ace in the contents of his secret and the way it’s phrased. I feel like Levi would be able to pick up on some of that knowledge, but he would then find it even harder to interact with Ace without accidentally spilling the beans on some of that newfound understanding. This secret shuffle would make their relationship basically irreparable in my opinion, and the increased frustrations from both boys might make one of their tempers flare and lead them to do something inadvisable.

“Xander” receives Eden’s secret

First of all, giving “Xander” this one means there’s one less problematic person who could draw a relatively harmless secret, which is a pro in this scenario. Leaving this secret unconfirmed could also cause problems in a Class Trial. Given that this secret doesn’t include murder, blackmail, manipulation, etc, it’s a pretty nice secret to claim for yourself, even if it can basically only be claimed by one of the girls. This means that, even if Eden tried to be truthful about her secret, people might believe that she’s lying.

Furthermore, the DRDT cast seems to be a pretty queer group of people overall. 6/15 of the non-Edens are confirmed LGBTQ+ themselves (even if not all of them are out), and everyone has treated Nico and Whit’s identities with respect since learning about them. Canonically, I would say that Eden has nothing to worry about with regards to the other girls treating her differently for being a lesbian.

So, by making Eden’s secret far less accessible, it becomes less likely that she’ll ever get that moment of recognition and affirmation. Instead, as Eden’s secret remains hidden and irrelevant, it becomes easier for her to stick to what she knows is safe. An accepting environment was right there in front of her, but with the convenience of periphery, she might not ever see it.

Arturo receives J’s secret

Yeah, I agree with you on this one– J truly did roll a crit fail. I did consider giving J’s secret to someone else, as long as they would definitely publicly spill the beans, if it meant that Arturo could learn the content of J’s secret while receiving an additional bad secret as well. However, I couldn’t think of anyone who would be so guaranteed to tell everyone about J’s secret that I could be confident Arturo would hear of it, nor could I think of any particularly catastrophic secrets I’d rather give to Arturo. So, this one stays. J really is living in the worst timeline already– like if you cry every time.

Hu receives Arei’s secret

Hu was a tough nut to crack, because I think the ideal bad situation for her is that she gets a secret that’s problematic enough that it would cause major issues if news broke, but not so problematic that she wouldn’t be willing to share it as a part of David’s “let’s tell each other about our secrets” plan. Operating under the logic that the mention of self harm was the reason why she wasn’t willing to share the secret she got in canon, 3/15 options immediately disappear. More options vanish when you start eliminating not-super-problematic secrets like Xander's family, Charles’ brother, or Rose’s debt.

After some consideration, I landed on Arei’s being the best balance of thorny and not. It’s a secret that discusses a serious crime without incorporating murder, and there’s lots of room for public interpretation that could cause things to go really poorly for Arei if folks jump to conclusions. Given that Hu already didn’t super like Arei (I’m basing this off of her chastising Arei for bullying Eden), I could totally see her being willing to share this secret publicly in order to help everyone see that Arei is someone not to be trusted.

Making Arei’s secret publicly aired also removes the very important aspect of Arei’s agency that I wrote on in the good section. If Hu is sharing this secret, it’s probably pretty early in the chapter, which means that Arei might not be prepared whenever the news drops. The context of the secret sharing doesn’t involve Eden at all, so Arei might have a harder time putting two and two together about why she acts the way she does and how she wants to change. Not to mention, if Hu shares the secret in a way that directly agrees with David’s scheme, it automatically pits David against Arei, which means that he can’t offer her any help (to the extent that what he said helped her canonically). It’s just bad all around. But that’s why I’ve come to feel pretty confident in this choice.

Rose receives Min’s secret

Following up on Rose’s last entry, this is not one of the secrets that the rest of the students could either easily deduce or ignore. It would be very easy to assume that the owner of the poison secret was a murderer– possibly a mass murderer, and even one who didn't regret what they did. Even if poison wasn’t used in the Chapter 2 murder, people might suspect this person of being the killer, and/or it could throw suspicion on Charles as the only one (who we know of) who has a poisonous custom weapon.

Now, obviously, this secret did not cause much of a scene in the canonical Chapter 2 trial, but I think at least part of that is because it was Xander’s. Everyone knows that the person who has that secret can only be determined by process of elimination no matter who they ask. The same would be true if it were the secret Rose got, but people might grow upset that Rose threw away such a valuable piece of evidence. And, with Min incapable of claiming her secret, it might appear even more that someone was trying to hide something when nobody spoke up to claim it. It’s not much, but Rose made it difficult to come up with something bad.

Teruko receives Xander’s secret

Funnily enough, the logic behind me giving Xander’s secret to Teruko is quite similar to the logic behind me giving it to David. Much like how David would be taken out of commission by reading this secret, I think that Teruko would act the same– it would just be worse for her and the group as a whole.

Like I said for David, Xander’s secret paints him out as a tragic hero. He loved his family to pieces, and regrets their passing so much that he wishes he could have died with them. Even though it was textually not his fault, Xander still beats himself up every day for not being around to do the right thing and save people when it counted. …What does it mean that the guy with this secret was the one who felt he had to kill Teruko for the greater good?!

Reading Xander’s secret would only pull Teruko deeper into anger, self-hatred, and confusion. She was already pretty off kilter in this Chapter from trying to ignore her mixed emotions regarding Xander, and I think that having to relive her trauma and his betrayal any time someone brought up the mere concept of secrets would basically take her out of commission. I mean, check out how many times I was able to say the word secret in these three paragraphs alone. I don’t imagine Teruko would be able to fare much better in the hellish environment of this terrible swap, which might lead her to hole up in her room all day and grow increasingly bored and bitter.

Now, I’m not saying that Teruko needed to be up and at ‘em in the daily life because her running around and pressing knives to people’s throats was just so helpful. But at least, unlike David, she wasn’t actively making the situation worse. Her presence may have even made potential friends like Eden, Charles, or Rose feel better. At the very least, Teruko learned some key social context in the Chapter 2 daily life prior to the Trial, so removing Teruko from those interactions would make it much harder for her to fully grasp what was going on should she be forced to solve a murder once again.

Charles receives Whit’s secret

I agree with you here as well– Charles acquiring Whit’s secret is probably the worst case scenario for Whit. As one of two people who actually heard Whit talk about his mom in Chapter 1, Charles is one of the only people who would know that Whit doesn’t just “omit that truth” by not talking about his mom, he actively talks about her like she is alive. This would raise a very big question for Charles at a crucial point in their friendship. Charles has just come to start trusting this guy, so what do you mean he was lying about something so odd…?

There’s a chance that the reveal of this concealment of the truth would cause Charles to determine that he couldn’t trust Whit anymore, and it would drive them apart. But, I think that’s pretty unlikely. More likely is the option where Charles (who’s in a fragile state from his meltdown yesterday and only JUST started learning how to be a good friend) tries to question Whit about it, only for Whit to panic. I don’t really think that Whit would try to keep the ruse going, seeing as Charles literally has the answer right in front of him, but he still might be full of deflections, or try to avoid the subject with jokes. (“Huh? No, I totally said that my mom passed away a few years ago! You must’ve just not heard me– did you fling some detergent into your ears with that laundry machine?”)

I’m not sure if this distribution of secrets would fully split them up, but it would definitely cause a rift in their conversation and bonding that might stop Charles and Whit from growing as close as they did. And, all this isn’t even taking into account that–

Whit receives Charles’ secret

Did you ever notice that Whit and Charles’ secrets are both about a hidden dead relative? I didn’t put two and two together until now, but boy does it work out poorly for purposes of this AU.

Much like Levi with Ace’s secret, I don’t think this is an inherently bad draw for Whit, but it kinda sucks in this context. Whit gets placed into a really weird trolley problem: do you tell and comfort Charles about his dead brother when it’ll definitely segue into discussions of your own dead mom, or do you keep it hidden, not helping Charles and leaving yourself open to the possibility of him feeling betrayed later that you kept this secret from him? It’s these kinds of questions that Whit would be forced to ask himself in the moment that Charles first confronts him, and the time needed to process would only throw him off his game and make him appear more suspicious to Charles.

To be fair, a lot of this does depend on how deep in the lie Whit is. Is he usually pretty quick to admit that his mom is dead to anyone who digs deeper into the issue, or has he been lying about his mom’s status to everyone, his father included? If it’s more like the former, then maybe the two of them could actually come to bond over the tragedy of losing someone you care about. But, if it’s more like the latter, then this distribution of secrets could get in the way of one of the (seemingly) most stable and healthy relationships in the killing game.

Arei receives Arturo’s secret

At first, I actually considered giving Arturo’s secret to Arei in the good universe, because I thought that Arei could understand having complicated relationships with your sisters. But then I remembered something critically important. Arei herself is the younger sister. She wouldn’t relate to Arturo; she would relate to Felicity. And then, all hell would break loose.

Arei knows what it’s like to be a younger sister who, even if she never considered it herself, had other people try to pressure her into committing suicide. So, to have a younger sister lucky enough to actually have a big brother she cared about, only for him to leave her alone and cause her death? Arei would be furious. She would absolutely call him out for it immediately, and use all of the bullying tactics she learned to make his life a living hell.

Despite all that I wrote about what Hu would do with Arei’s secret, I don’t actually know if Hu would be more or less likely to share Arei’s secret if Arei was acting this way. Would Hu take it upon herself to join in shaming Arturo for his actions, or feel that Arei was being a hypocrite and want to share Arei’s own truth? Either way, with both of these secrets, I think that the option of Arei’s character growing at all (or becoming friends with Eden) any time soon is pretty much dead.

And then there’s Arturo himself. While we’ve seen that Arturo does genuinely seem remorseful and haunted by Felicity’s death, I doubt Arei would know or care. I also totally think that J would join Arei in absolutely demolishing the man. Having Arei’s offense be backed by the Julia Rosales might just break him. Whether it would be in a victim way or a killer way I’m not sure, but it would definitely be bad for funni beauty standards man. The good news is that it might stop Arei from dying…? Unless Arturo just decided to kill her. There really isn’t a lot of good news.

David receives Veronika’s secret

Alright, back to David and Veronika. This is the third time I’ve had two people just swap their secrets, I guess? And, it’s kinda for the same reasons again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Since we’ve been through a lot since we last discussed this pair, let’s get a quick recap: Veronika knows that David is a manipulative bastard, but won’t tell anyone that yet because she thinks it’ll be more interesting if she keeps her mouth shut. Thus, everyone is kind of wary of David, and David is definitely wary of Veronika, but not so much that it stops David from doing his information-seeking “let’s all share our secrets” plan.

I think that learning this about Veronika would make David pretty confused, very concerned, and extra conscious of Veronika in a way that would be hard to conceal. He could probably guess from the way Veronika was acting that she had some kind of dirt on him, and therefore conclude that, if he ever tried to share her secret, she might just fire back at him. David does not want that. So, the two of them remain at an uneasy stalemate that would make everyone else increasingly troubled.

Furthermore, I think that Veronika’s secret is a good balance of an unexpected yet potentially relevant piece of information about a living student that David would want to seek more of, while also not being so grim that it would appeal to whatever morals David may have. (Don’t get me wrong, Veronika’s secret is very worrying and tragic, but at least the inclusion of “for fun” makes it less grim than Arturo’s or Hu’s, to me.) David would be inclined to continue on his quest of acquiring the most knowledge-as-power as possible, and Veronika would be thrilled to watch! Both of them would just be giving off… really weird vibes about it.

Nico receives Hu’s secret

(extra suicide TW just in case)

If I say anything offensive or incorrect in this section, I deeply apologize. I don’t mean to portray either of these characters, their issues, or people who relate to them or their issues in a bad light, and I definitely don’t mean to demonize mentally ill people. The reasoning behind why I think it would be bad for Nico to get Hu’s secret is complicated, and may be based on uninformed thoughts or unfounded projections. However, based on what I do “know,” I think it makes sense, so I’ll try to explain myself as best I can.

Basically, I think that receiving Hu’s secret would be bad for Nico because it might make Nico less likely to speak up for themselves when Hu talks over them. If I were Nico, I might be worried about reacting too strongly to what Hu is doing, and accidentally sending her back into the hopeless state of her childhood. Just interacting with Hu in general might lead someone (like David) to start questioning Nico about the secret they received, and cause the information to accidentally leak out. It would make Nico saying anything on how Hu was acting difficult.

Again, I am not trying to villainize Hu, or mandate that you have to walk on eggshells around suicidal people because they’re loose cannons or whatever. I just think that, especially for someone as uncomfortable with socialization with Nico, navigating the sensitive subject of past suicide attempts in this incredibly hostile bad AU environment might prevent them from speaking up for themselves when they’re feeling belittled. And, that would be bad for their personal development.

I wish we could move on to something happier to combat these bad vibes, but unfortunately, we still have a couple more to go.

“Min” receives Rose’s secret

Well, at least we can cool down a little bit with this one. Not a ton going on here; basically just that Rose’s secret is pretty lowkey and I could cause more damage with other secrets elsewhere. I don’t think it would cause a particular stir with either other students becoming paranoid or Rose’s characterization and growth. I suppose that, without the excuse of being able to explain her past, Rose probably wouldn’t have had that chance to vent to Teruko, which was probably a good experience for her? The conflict-avoidant Rose will be suffering enough with all the turmoil going on around her, methinks.

Eden receives Nico’s secret

Make no mistake, this is not a decision made to hurt Nico. It’s meant to hurt Eden. With her compassionate heart and non-judgmental attitude, Eden is a great draw for any secret-holder to have in order to not cause trouble. That’s why I thought that the best move here was to use the secret as an offensive weapon to lessen her impact, as well as preventing a more problematic secret from being absorbed into her positive vibes.

Eden’s greatest secret is that she’s a lesbian, and she fears that people will come to hate her or discriminate against her if they find out about her identity. Therefore, the worst thing to do to her is to affirm those fears by shoving the homophobia someone else suffered in her face. Learning that Nico was mocked for their identity would make Eden less confident in hers, and might dampen her spirit enough that some of the good effects of her optimism are negated. She might become more hesitant to discuss secrets and more fearful of her peers, knowing that one of them probably knows about her identity and could use it against her at any time. Little does she know, it’s actually in the morgue alongside the Ultimate Rebel.

But, the fact that is just further feeds into my idea from Xander’s section. If Eden has just been reminded of how cruel the world can be to LGBTQ+ people, she wouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to reveal which secret was hers. This would 1) allow another troublemaker to perhaps successfully claim it as their own, 2) make Eden look suspicious as she tries to come up with a solid lie of her own, and 3) postpone or deny (if Eden dies on a short timeframe) Eden’s ability to feel comfortable in herself.

Also (not to say that David forcing Nico to share their secret was a good thing), if Nico’s secret never becomes available to the public, they might have to go through the rest of their time in the killing game getting misgendered. Diversity loss!

J receives Teruko’s secret

J could stay quiet for a lot of things, but I feel like if she knew who the mastermind was (assuming she doesn’t know that she herself is the mastermind), that’s something she wouldn’t stay quiet about. I think that J at least wanted to see Teruko as her friend, given that she approached Teruko on the day she tested out her universal remote and roped Teruko in as part of her plan to get away from Arturo. Teruko double-crossing J by “being the mastermind” would, I think, be enough of a betrayal that J would set out seeking answers. Publicly.

Teruko, having just seen Xander’s secret, is also in a terrible mood, meaning that her ability to defend herself against J’s accusations and keep a cool head would be lessened, and possibly devolve into a screaming match. This would send the students down the incorrect(?) path as to the mastermind’s identity, further encourage Teruko to distance herself from everyone else, and cause J to lose faith in one of the few people she liked just before Arturo starts to get on her ass. Needless to say, the group would be in shambles.

That was rough, but we’re finally done. Let’s take a look at how things shook out.

(Once again, I really didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Charles’ dead brother? A little treat for everyone who believes Whit is evil, I suppose.)

Blech. Even though torturing characters can be fun sometimes, speculating about the worst case scenario isn’t usually the kind of energy that I like to bring to this blog. Hopefully I was able to deliver something satisfactorily devastating, though!

As a final note, assigning all these secrets to everyone did get me thinking a little about what would have happened in this chapter if the motive had gone as planned, and everyone had gotten their own secrets. While it obviously wouldn’t have been as good as the good universe, I do think that people learning of their own secrets is a lot better than many of the bad scenarios that could have been created with a shuffle. Charles and Teruko definitely would have been a bit thrown, but at least in Charles’ case, I don’t know if it would have resulted in murder.

In my opinion, I think it’s probably most likely that David or Nico would have killed? David obviously cares a lot about his career and the prospect of his secret being shared with the world, so he could have tried to ride his good social graces and fake “family history of depression” secret to a Class Trial clear. Nico also has a lot to worry about with their secret getting out, and, already facing pressure from Ace’s bullying, it’s possible they would have made the same decision to kill Ace if Ace’s harassment continued. I suppose this is a question I can ask back at ya, Gremlyn, if you feel inclined to answer! :D And, thank you for the ask. Even if it got a little bleak, I had fun with it.

Stay safe and happy out there, everyone, and make sure your deepest, darkest secret doesn’t get handed to your worst enemy. Or really, just try to avoid entering a killing game at all. Until next time~

[sleepingdeath-light]

rosie + segmented smut alphabet ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (part of an event)

letters used ; a / i / k

masterlist(s) ; here

minors and ageless blogs do not interact

A — Aftercare

what they’re like after sex

Rosie tends to be extremely vocal and upbeat after you two have had sex — not to the same extent as she is beforehand as she’s usually at least a little out of breath, but no matter how intense your romp has been she always seems to come out of it frustratingly well put-together compared to you — which usually means that she’s the one who takes the lead for both physical aftercare and pillow talk.

Physical aftercare with Rosie tends to follow a very lineare formula with only occasional deviations when necessary: her taking a short while to check you over for any injuries that were more severe than intended, leaving to run you both a nice hot bath (complete with bubbles and a scented candle you can both agree on) once she’s certain that you’re unharmed beyond what you’d consented to beforehand, her fetching you some water and very sternly telling you to drink it, frequently popping her head back into the bedroom to see if you’ve actually done what she’s asked, going and getting some snacks for you both to share from her kitchen, sharing a bath with you (usually with plenty of teasing), and then going to bed for some well-earned casual intimacy.

Pillowtalk, meanwhile, mostly consists of lighthearted banter interspersed with praise, reassurances, and the typical sort of questions you’d expect from someone like Rosie. One moment she’s brushing your wet hair out of you face and reassuring you that you did so well for her and you’ve nothing to worry about with her, and the next her smile goes from genuine to flirty as she (lovingly) teases you for being so reactive and responsive to what she was doing to you — her teasing is very rarely outright explicit but her tone and expression get the message across clear enough on their own for you to want to bury your face in a pillow… or, alternatively, throw that same pillow in her face to get her to quiet down. She also makes a point to ask you whether you enjoyed yourself and were okay with everything she did, and welcomes any suggestions for things you want to try — she always encourages honesty above anything else and wouldn’t dream of shaming or punishing you for being open with her (of course she’s still going to tease you here and there, but you know its never done maliciously and that’s just the sort of person Rosie is).

I — Intimacy

how romantic are they?

Though Rosie is someone who is very traditional and romantic in how she approaches your relationship in general, this doesn’t always translate directly to her behaviour in the bedroom. Of course she’s still the same woman you fell in love with and she never misses the chance to praise you until you can barely stand to look her in the eyes, but there are times where she can be a bit less romantic and a bit more direct about having sex with you — usually when she’s had a particularly frustrating day or if you’ve made a point of being a brat or a tease beforehand.

K — Kink

some of their kinks

There are a vast array of different kinks that Rosie would love to incorporate into your sex life, but I’ll just list a few:

Lingerie — she’s more than willing and excited to dress up for you and has done so many many times, but the idea of you dolling yourself up just for her really just gets her hot under the collar.

Bondage — bonus points if it’s a more intricate style using materials that are both beautiful and firm, but generally speaking Rosie’s happy to have you all tied up and at her mercy no matter what’s being used to restrain you.

Knife Play — her profession has given her a fantastic and intimate understanding of the human body which means that she knows where she should and shouldn’t cut you and how deep she can go to leave a mark without causing serious harm (all skills she’s more than willing to make use of in the bedroom if ever you ask).

Dom/Sub — though she’s not opposed to play-fighting you for her dominance or you being a bit of a brat every now and then and going through the whole ‘make me listen’ routine, it goes without saying that Rosie is always going to be the dominant one in the bedroom.

Praise Kink — mainly this is about her showering you in praise and affirmations while she absolutely ravishes your body with her mouth/hands/pussy/toys, but she’s certainly never going to complain about you praising everything she is or does (it doesn’t even have to be sexual, she’ll get that same giddy grin whether you’re calling her ‘gorgeous’ and telling her how amazing she makes you feel, or salivating over her baking and offering her a string of compliments that would make any chef preen)

Marking Kink — again this is almost exclusive to her being the one to mark you as a way to claim her territory and ward off any potential suitors (she’s also equally content with more long-lasting marks, like bruises and cuts, as she is with more short-term marks, like lipstick prints on your face and neck, and will only go as far with indulging this side of herself as you allow her to)

[m00nsbaby]

The calendar.

Will Dempsey x F!Reader.

Tags & warnings. Yes, I did this only because I hate this man and I wanted to make him unhappy, lol.

Word count. 2.9k

Summary.

There is simply nothing worst than knowing how it ends.

He had his strengths, unfortunately, socializing wasn't part of that extensive list. So when you, a natural chatterbox, took a seat beside him, he knew he was condemned for the rest of the day.

Will didn't know that you were also terrible at making friends.

"I saw you in the literature class, you did great," you whispered with a smile, adhering to the library's rules, and he sighed, thinking that he only responded to teachers' questions because no one else did.

"Uh-huh."

A few seconds of silence, and you picked up on it. After having five people reject your friendship, you understood the message loud and clear. It seemed you would finish your university career without knowing a single friendly soul on campus.

Although, well, in this case, maybe it was your fault. He seemed a bit older than you. Perhaps the weariness of university life had already consumed his soul or something like that.

You didn't say anything more, you crossed your arms and buried your face in them, close to tears. It was only a few seconds before a tap on your shoulder made you turn.

Without looking at you, the curly-haired guy was pushing his coffee cup towards you, as an invitation.

Did you look that exhausted?

In silence, you took the cup and had a sip. Maybe not everything was so bad.

It became a routine; you didn't say anything when you arrived at his side at the same table that only the two of you shared.

You learned that the two free hours you had between classes were the same ones he seemed to have; you always found him in the same spot, writing as if his life depended on it. Many times, the only sound accompanying you was the noise of his old laptop, whose fan you compared to the engine of a broken-down car.

"I didn't see you in class today." It was the first time in a long time that he spoke to you as he pushed the remainder of his coffee towards you, as usual.

You drank it, trying to hide your surprise at his words.

"I overslept."

He scoffed. And you smiled when you discovered that he had more than just one facial expression.

You figured that the encounter for that day was over because he turned towards his backpack. However, instead of packing things, he seemed to be rummaging through it.

"I'll send you what we covered in class." He wrote on a post-it note before pushing it towards you; his email address was written on it.

Very formal, very him.

And you smiled even more, if that was possible.

With time, things became a bit of a frenzy for you two. Before you knew it, you were in Will's arms, already accustomed to his way of covering your eyes and hugging you from behind.

"Who am I?"

"Mhm, let me guess…" He always laughed when you pretended not to recognize him.

Slowly, he slid his hand from your eyes down your face and rested it on your neck. You knew there were people watching you, there were always people watching you at school.

Maybe everyone wondered what you had given to the quietest and most introverted guy in school to have him so enchanted with you.

Slowly, you turned around in his arms. He pressed you against his chest, and you smiled.

"Do you want to study together tonight?"

Study sessions one day turned into make-out sessions.

"Is this okay?" He leaned over your body to look at your laptop screen.

His body rose and fell with your breath, and you tried not to complain that he was crushing you with the weight of his body.

"Poor wording," he teased, and you realized it when he pressed his lips together to stifle a laugh, and you pushed him.

"I won't ask for your opinion ever again."

"I tell you for your own good." He rested a hand on the pillow next to your head, looking at you with that mocking smile that annoyed you so much.

"You always say that." You pouted.

He leaned further forward, the tip of his nose brushing against yours.

"And you keep asking me to review it," he whispered, his huge brown eyes fixed on you.

Your hand rose, and you gently caressed the light beard that began to grow every three days. The same one that tickled you whenever he rested his chin on your neck.

"You're a lousy tutor."

Seconds of silence before he pushed forward, his lips crashing against yours with desperation.

It seemed like Will had been waiting for this his whole life. He was devouring your mouth, claiming it as his own.

This became a habit, meeting every week to kiss until your lips hurt, him squeezing your hip until his fingers were imprinted on you.

All of this under the title of "best friends."

Your story had its ups and downs, needless to say, both of your characters were somewhat special. Because even though you worked perfectly together, you both had too much pride to acknowledge your feelings for each other.

You met his girlfriends; he met every idiot who tried to be with you without realizing that you were too good for losers like them.

You argued, gave each other the cold shoulder on multiple occasions, and reconciled just as many times.

And before you knew it, you were living with him.

Not only that, you had already had an established relationship for about two years.

"Are you going through a phase?" He slid his arms around your waist, and with little force, he pulled you close to his chest as your gaze remained fixed on your phone.

"Can't I listen to One Direction albums on repeat without you judging me?"

"No." Sometimes he was so good in his performances that you had no other choice but to elbow him to take the air out of his lungs.

Still, he laughed.

"Listen, it's a masterpiece." You turned slowly. You placed one of the earphones in his ear, and you kept the other in yours.

As the music played and you hummed along, Will just stared at you. He used to do that often, but he never told you that in the meantime, he was thinking about how lucky he was.

About how he prayed to heaven, to God, to fate, to whatever was listening that life would stay like this forever. With you in his arms and your horrible musical choices.

"It's awful."

You both burst into laughter, and he didn't even complain when you hit him again. Nor did you when he pushed you beneath him, kissing you like a hungry man.

Your shared closet was full of little colorful notes - yellow, pink, green, and orange - and you read each one carefully.

Behind you, Will was biting one of his nails, looking at you as if Jane Austen herself were judging his work.

Exactly 36 minutes passed as you finished your reading, and in the end, you turned to him with a smile that brought his soul back to life.

It turns out that Will had always dreamed of being a writer, and you, better than anyone, had known this since that disastrous afternoon when you first met. In fact, you were surprised that he didn't already have four novels completed, given the speed and desperation with which he always wrote.

"It's perfect, love!" Yeah, it was just a storyboard but you still jumped into his arms, and with the coordination of two people who were born to be together, he lifted you off the ground.

Of course, you supported his dream, even if it meant quitting his job to write full-time. You knew it would be tough, exhausting for you as the primary provider, but in your eyes, it would all be worth it when you saw him dedicate his first book to you.

That had been the deal. You would get the first copy, the first page would clarify how important you were to him (that part was his suggestion), and the book, adorned with his autograph, would be part of the house's decor.

"I can't wait to read it." Your forehead rested against his.

"I love you." He told you all the time, in fact, he had been saying it since you were best friends, but this time it was different.

Special, sincere, and intimate.

Will wanted to tear out his heart and leave it in your hands, like the dramatic writer he had been for years.

And you wanted to take care of it, to take care of his heart, to take care of him, until your time ran out.

"I can't take it anymore, Will." You sobbed in his arms as he gently rocked you back and forth.

The edge of his desk was digging into your ribs every time he leaned forward, but you didn't complain; you knew he was doing his best to console you.

He could only think that it wasn't fair; you were giving up your life to let him fulfill his dream.

It turned out that when you started taking extra shifts, your body began to succumb to physical and emotional exhaustion. You were utterly drained, and in recent days, your boss wasn't making it any easier for you.

"Quit," was the first thing that came to his mind.

And that made you sob even more because you were no longer a child.

Because even though he offered you the easiest way out, you knew when things were possible and when they weren't, and losing your job without a backup plan was by no means an option. That was probably the most frustrating part, not seeing a way out.

Your boyfriend's beard tickled your forehead, and when your breathing synchronized with his, you thought what you always thought. 'This will be worth it someday.'

Will was worth it. Will was worth even more than this, and you knew it. You would never have the strength to ask him to be unhappy again for a little more money.

"We should get married."

Will choked on his cereal, his gaze leaving his laptop for a few seconds.

It wasn't the first time you had made such comments, and although you thought Will was simply too dumb to understand hints, he had decided to start ignoring them.

And he wasn't even sure why. Maybe he had never been attracted to the idea of marriage, maybe part of it made him feel like his youth was slipping through his fingers.

But this time you were too direct to ignore.

"I don't know, love," he scratched his beard, finally pushing his laptop aside.

Lately, you didn't spend as much time together without him writing, without the sound of the keys resonating in your head.

Anyway, his answer was enough to make you swallow hard.

It hurt that he doubted.

"I think we don't have enough money," he cleared his throat with the excuse.

You nodded silently.

That night you turned your back on him, and he unconsciously did the same. He didn't like it at all; in fact, he didn't want to repeat the experience ever again.

"How long are we going to keep this up?" Your voice was almost a cold whisper as you stared at your coffee cup.

Of course, Will had noticed for weeks that things weren't right between you, but by his own choice, he hadn't said anything.

He knew that talking would mean facing many things, maybe hearing from your own mouth everything he had been doing wrong. Losing you.

No scenario seemed tempting to him, so he chose the best way out of all this, pretending that everything was fine, playing dumb when you hinted in some way that things weren't going well. You see, perhaps Will's worst flaw was being selfish.

He could see you losing yourself over time, little by little, every day more, rather than letting you go. Letting you be happy somewhere else.

"Keep what up, love?"

Life was weighing you down. Your job, your relationship, feeling stuck in the same place. And on occasions like these, he reminded you that you weren't ready either.

You didn't have the strength to argue.

Your eyes were tired of the constant burning of tears.

You simply shook your head, and your boyfriend's heart returned to its normal rhythm.

He didn't know how long you would hold up like this, but at least for today, things would stay as they were.

You would sleep in his arms, and he would pretend that hugging you tighter was just an involuntary move and a way to silently comfort those sobs that you always thought would never wake him up.

Sometimes you felt like you were just exaggerating. That you, like all couples, were simply going through a rough patch.

Will was the same. He always was.

The one who made you laugh, the one who saved his last sip of coffee for you, and the one who promised to share his dream of a lifetime with you, which you confirmed on an ordinary Saturday.

He invited you to dinner and temporarily got rid of that beard that always scratched you when you kissed him. He took you to the movies and let you choose the film.

You made out in the last row of seats like teenagers with little time alone, and you laughed out loud when your lipstick ended up completely on his now swollen lips. And things only got better at home.

Yes, you were one of those ridiculous couples who had matching pajamas, and that night, after many, you wore them at the same time.

"I love you." Your stomach fluttered as it had the first time he said it to you, and you kissed his lips until you got tired.

Will watched you sleep, thinking about how lucky he was. He prayed with all his heart that the day would never come when you realized that he would never be worth it, and that unfortunately, living through those terrible ups and downs wouldn't be worth it someday either.

He prayed that you wouldn't notice how his face fell when you proposed the idea of starting a family, or how the excuse of an expensive wedding went to hell when you suggested something small with his family and yours.

Both of you slept on the couch, although the next day you woke up sore, you could ignore many things if Will held you that way with his arms.

Things came to an end exactly three months later when you realized that all the previous times you said, "I can't take it anymore" didn't compare to what it truly meant to not be able to take it anymore.

Will knew it; for a week, it could have been any day.

Still, no matter how much he prepared mentally, it felt like someone was ripping his stomach out when he woke up one day and found you sitting on the couch, a coffee cup in your hand, and your suitcases in front of you.

He thought it was ridiculous that you had to leave your own home, but to the very end, you were thinking of him.

"Don't go," was all he could say, and you looked at him.

You were exhausted.

"I can't stay, Will." You sounded so determined that he almost felt happy to hear you being yourself again. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he heard you speak so firmly.

He wished it hadn't been this way.

"Every morning…" Your voice broke, along with his heart. "Every morning, I feel like I have to put my hands on my chest and check to confirm that I'm alive."

This was precisely what Will had been trying to avoid for so long.

"Please, don't do it," he repeated softly. For a writer of some of the most dramatic stories you'd ever read, he didn't seem to have much else on his mind than this, repeating over and over not to leave.

"Promise me it will be different, and I'll try, Will."

He swallowed hard.

"Make me your wife, make me your everything," you begged through tears.

And he couldn't. He couldn't even walk behind you to stop you as you left, dragging your noisy suitcases.

He knew he would dream for the rest of his nights about that broken hug and painful kiss on the cheek you gave him to say goodbye. And although his ears played him a continuous ringing, something he had only seen in movies, he managed to hear that you said something about taking care of himself.

It tore his soul apart to think that even in the last minute, you were thinking of his well-being, something he had stopped doing a long time ago.

Will's life spiraled downhill, but that's something he had predicted a long time ago. He knew that everything in him depended on you to be okay.

His writings lost their meaning, his novel remained half-finished when he realized that maybe it wasn't worth completing if he wouldn't have someone to dedicate it to in the end.

He always believed that misfortune could bring out the potential in any artist, but unfortunately, he wasn't one of those cases.

He never listened to any songs he recognized from being on the same playlist you used to play on any occasion, and his bed started to feel colder and colder, even in the summer.

The only thing he sometimes liked was that period of time between lying down and falling asleep; he liked to remember.

Sometimes, he even laughed at all those times he begged not to lose you. He wished he had done more than just pray.

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

HI! I've been reading through some old posts and i was wondering if you could explain how Arjun did raas with lord krishna? <3

Hello!

So the bit you're referring to is not actually from the Mahabharat. It's from the Padma Purana's pātāla-khanda.

This tiny story is a part of the dialogue that occurs between two people in the future as is the typical narrative style of these tales. It goes something like:

Arjun is curious to know all sorts of details about the raas-leela- where does it happen, how many gopis are there, who are they etc etc. Krishna is cryptic, as usual, and tells him that a man simply cannot perceive it even if the said man is more precious to him than life itself to him. Therefore, it's no use asking. Arjun is Disappointed™. Krishna is soft for him so he tells him it's fine and that he shouldn't worry about it because he'll see for himself. Then he instructs him to go to a goddess(Tripāsundari, to be exact) who will help him.

Arjun goes to her, prays to her and calls to her. She appears, pleased by his devotion and adoration. She also asks him a rhetorical question, that I personally find funny, which basically is along the lines of "What makes you so special that Krishna is letting you have this one thing that no other mortal, deity or ascetic can have?" She doesn't wait for an answer, because I think she already knew and then proceeds to give Arjun a list of prayer related tasks to worship her properly. After he follows her instructions, she and her friend show him Radha's house and vrindavan. Then she tells him to take dip in an auspicious lake and he does and emerges as a beautiful woman.

(At this point, I will be using she/her pronouns for Arjun/Arjuni because that's what the story says.)

Arjuni rises from the lake, having forgotten everything about her male self. There's a lot of poetic waxing about how alluring and attractive her voice, physicality and personality are. She happens upon a bunch of women(the gopis, obviously) who are equally as beautiful and charming as her. All the gopis are very lovely, actually and ask her who she is and how she happened to end up there and kind of soothe Arjuni's anxiety and then all of them introduce themselves. They say that they used to sages in their past life and are now gopis who participate in raas leela with Krishna.

They take her to lake, play with her, bathe her etc etc. It's all VERY sapphic, trust me. There's also a lot of praying involved. After the initiation is over, Arjuni meets Radha. More praying and devotion.

Pleased by all this devotion, Krishna asks Radha to bring Arjuni to him who promptly breaks out into sweaty excitement upon seeing him.

(Okay, now, I guess I'm obligated to inform you that what follows is very...sexual in nature. BUT a lot of Indian spiritual texts consider the sexual and the spiritual to be interconnected. Take from this what you will, I guess.)

The text goes on to describe Krishna's body in HEAVY detail (including equating his thighs to tree trunks?) that makes me genuinely worried that whoever wrote this was incredibly horny. He takes her hand and they um... participate in the leela.

When it's over, Arjuni is Exhausted from all the activity and Krishna tells her to go take a dip in the lake again. She does.

(Back to he/him pronouns people, keep up.)

Arjun surfaces and is dejected from the loss of something so wonderful. Krishna consoles him by saying that they are Dear Friends, as the historians say, and that only he knows something that no one else in three loka does. And if Arjun tells anyone what he has experienced he will curse Krishna. Again, hilarious because if you remember I said that this story is being told to us in a dialogue of TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Which means other people already know. Clownery of the highest order, really.

And then they go home. The end?

I hope this helps. I paraphrased a lot but I couldn't just paste the entire thing here. I've given you all the tools to go search for orginal text and translation yourself.

TL: DR Arjun gets instant lake-HRT for one night, participates in the raas-leela, and then goes home.

-Mod S

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Three: Feel Bad For Him

Chapter One: Never Stayed Dead

Previous Chapter: But You Owe Me

~

‘Sulky’ was the only way that could describe Benrey’s attitude. Short noncommittal answers were his only replies when Gordon asked him about this or that clothing item. And he didn’t say anything unprompted as he followed. He was utterly unhelpful in every way but he wasn’t being an active nuisance or wondering off again so it was preferable.

Gordon put up with it for as long as he could bear before giving up and just picking stuff out for Benrey without even bothering to ask. Probably because he was used to see Benrey in blue, he ended up picking out mostly blue and other cool coloured clothing. It would make the inhuman yellow he’d chosen for to put in his eyes pop but most people would likely assume he was wearing contacts. Anyone wearing such contacts would want them to stand out, thus making them less suspicious.

Blessedly after paying for everything, they were allowed into the changing rooms so they could spend the rest of their shopping trip in real clothing. Immediately Gordon felt better; he was clean, safe, and wearing proper clothing again at long last. And their group no longer stood out even a little, making the fear of anyone noticing them and asking too many questions much less potent.

As they set to grocery shopping, Benrey continued to sulk as he followed along at the back of the group. Apparently he was really upset about no one being willing to buy him a new PS3. As long as he was expressing that in sullenness and not trying to kill them though, Gordon didn’t care. Let the bastard be unhappy for once, he deserved it after all the misery he’d put Gordon through.

Without easy access to a fridge and the only means to cook anything being the microwave in the hotel’s cafeteria area, the kinds of food they could get were limited. But anything was better than living off of vending machine snacks and dead pigeon that was always undercooked in some places and burnt in others. Somehow though despite how much soda they’d drank during that same trip through hell, Gordon just barely managed to convince to not add it to the list here. They could spend their money how they wanted of course but packs of soda were always bulky and they had enough to carry already.

Luckily the walk back to the hotel wasn’t long even if it was uncomfortable carrying so many bags at the height of the day’s heat. Not so luckily though, upon inquiring at the front desk, there were no new rooms available. Gordon had to continue sharing with Benrey. Tempting as it was to complain to the receptionist or the rest of the Science Team again, he didn’t bother.

As soon as they were back in their room, Benrey dropped the bags Gordon had given him to carry and wondered over to flop face first down onto the bed. Ignoring him being the easiest thing to do, Gordon set to putting stuff away. Including Benrey’s clothing, not a job he should have to do but he wasn’t in the mood to start something. Their share of the groceries, he put some in the night stand, the rest he left put in a box next to it.

Once everything was put away, he sat in the chair and pulled the phone out of its cradle, resting it on his lap while he dialed. By some miracle he remembered his supervisor’s phone number after only a little bit of thought. As usual, because the asshole never picked up his phone, it inevitably went voice mail.

“Hey, if you’re not dead,” though there was a good chance he was, “it’s Gordon Freeman. As you probably know, stuff kinda exploded and went to hell during my last shift. So I’m calling because I don’t know if I technically still have a job at Black Mesa or not. So I’d like news on that as well as compensation since it was a workplace accident and all that. Also uh… I got a thing that I need help handling. I can’t talk about it over the phone because it’s sensitive company stuff,” and because Benrey, the exact thing he was talking about, was right there, “but it’s important. So get in touch soon.” He gave the hotel name and his room number before hanging up with a sigh.

Probably the guy was dead so he’d have to go further up the chain of command if he wanted any hope of getting confirmation on his job status, compensation for his suffering while on the job, and/or answers on what he was supposed to do with Benrey. Perhaps all the way up to Administrator Breen,himself. Normally he would’ve balked at such a thought but after everything he’d been through he’d run out of fucks to give.

Though the situation with the US military did make it a bit more complicated. They could threaten to turn him in if he tried to demand anything from the company. But then he could in turn threaten to spill the news of the incident to the public if they tried. Or heck, he’d taken part in plenty of top secret experiments even before this latest fiasco that he could threaten to reveal too. He didn’t currently have any proof of any of it – it had all been in his office or living space at the Black Mesa facility – but he could bluff and say he did. Perhaps he could even head down there to get that proof.

The thought of returning so soon sent a chill down his spine. But… it might be a smart idea. Everything should’ve calmed down by now both in terms of the aliens as well as the military. They could check to see if any of the possessions were salvageable and well, there might be survivors they could help. And if Gordon really did have to black mail the company to get them to compensate him and the rest of the team, having the means to actually do so before he even needed to threaten it would be helpful.

If they were going to go down there, the sooner, the better. … He didn’t want to though, not today. It was too soon, he needed some some time. Tomorrow would be better. If they heard nothing from Black Mesa by then, he’d talk to the others about renting a car and heading down there to see if there was anything to see. For now, he was done thinking about it.

Instead, he looked over at Benrey, still lying face down on the bed. It couldn’t possibly be comfortable but he didn’t seem inclined to move any time soon. “How long you planning to sulk for?” Talking to him might be a bad idea but the silence was too heavy.

Benrey’s response was so muffled by the pillow his face was pressed into, it was indecipherable. Gordon could just get up and leave him there, would be justified in doing so too, and go talk to the others instead. But Tommy had made a good point about all their fun stuff being gone or at least currently inaccessible. Fun stuff wasn’t necessary for survival but it was necessary for thriving and after everything they’d been through, fun distraction would not only be really damn nice but also much deserved.

Since starting college, Gordon hadn’t had as much time to play video games as he’d have liked. Getting hired at Black Mesa had given him a little more time since he lived and worked in the facility but he’d mostly been focused on work. They’d been working on some pretty cool projects after all… though they seemed less cool now. Getting lost in video games was more appealing of an concept than ever. And there were by far worse coping mechanisms he could be tempted to turn to if he resisted this one. Benrey being a gamer too meant he could kill two birds with one stone; fun distraction for himself and something to keep Benrey occupied and hopefully content enough to not cause more problems.

With a sigh, Gordon stood back up and put his shoes back on. “I’m about to head to the used game store, you wanna come with?”

For a moment it seemed Benrey hadn’t heard or wasn’t going to respond but after several seconds he twisted his neck to look up at Gordon. Far enough that it looked painful but he wasn’t human so he was probably fine. He opened his mouth but Gordon quickly cut him off before he could say something stupid.

“We’re getting an old, used, cheap console with old, used, cheap games, nothing new or expensive. I only got so much in savings. But I am willing to buy a couple games solely for you if it’ll keep you from being a nuisance and if you promise to behave. Understood?”

Benrey pushed himself up and was back to his feet in seconds. “Yeah, yeah, understood.”

“You promise to behave?”

“I promise to behave. Let’s go.” It was quick and Benrey was already starting for the door so it would have to be good enough for now.

~

Despite having made it clear that he was a Sony fanboy, Benrey was the one who suggested they get the Game Cube instead of the original Play Station because, “There’s more good games for it.” Which was true, the store’s selection of Game Cube games was almost twice as big as it’s Play Station section.

He was also the one to suggest they get multiplayer games. Gordon didn’t like the idea of playing games with him but after some thought he agreed that it was a good idea. Since they had to share the console, they were bound to end up fighting over it, having some games they could play together should mitigate that to some extent. Besides he did like the idea of occasionally playing with Tommy, Bubby, and Dr. Coomer if they desired to as well.

In all, the shopping trip was quick, easy, and Benrey was relatively well behaved the whole time. They walked away with a Game Cube, four controllers, two memory cards, a decent handful of games and three Beyblades from the toy box next to the cashier for less than a brand new PS3 would’ve cost. Gordon had checked to see if he could get Dr. Coomer a SNES and Super Punch Out but the latter wasn’t in stock so he put the idea on the shelf for later.

For now instead, during the walk back to the hotel he stopped by the 7/11 to get everyone their own two litter bottle of soda – all on brand, unlike the cheap stuff available at Black Mesa’s vending machines – and at Benrey’s suggestion a box of on brand candy too. It wasn’t much but he owed the Science Team his life so he wanted to do something at least kind of nice for them. Benrey got included solely because he was physically with Gordon at the time and well, he was feeling generous so why not?

“They got pizza too,” Benrey said as he bumped his shoulder into Gordon’s as he made his third and final trip to the counter – having only one real hand meant he couldn’t carry it all at once until it was bagged and Benrey’s arms were full with their game purchases, meaning he couldn’t help.

“Yeah, and?”

“Could get some… maybe?”

“What? No. Have you ever had 7/11 pizza?”

“Nope. This is my first time inside a real 7/11.”

Damn, another reminder that Benrey probably spent his whole life locked up inside Black Mesa. Gordon still refused to feel bad for him though. The world had been better and safer with Benrey contained. Now apparently it was Gordon’s job to prevent him from running amuck and causing untold chaos until he could get him to someone who could contain him again.

What were the pay rates for babysitting whatever the fuck Benrey was? Had to be pretty high, right? Between that and the compensation he was owed, he should be set for life. Maybe he really could retire and spend the rest of his life goofing off and playing video games online.

For now though, he finished putting the last of his purchase on the counter and said to Benrey, “Well, trust me, unless you’re high enough that you’re happy to eat literally anything, convenience store pizza is garbage. Like, it’s worse than frozen pizza.”

“Oh, no thanks then, frozen pizza’s pretty bad. It’s too cold and the plastic wrapping gets stuck your teeth, real uh… real awful. The cardboard ain’t bad but can’t save it.”

The cashier ringing everything up chuckled, clearly believing it to be a joke. Gordon wasn’t so sure. It was tempting to ask but he didn’t need to know and just laughed along instead because Benrey eating a frozen pizza straight out of the freezer, packaging and all, was a pretty funny mental image.

~

Upon returning to the hotel the first thing Gordon did was unload all the sodas and candy, much to the delight of the Science Team. Especially Tommy once the Beyblades were brought out for him too. Sunkist had apparently caught up and seemed excited too. Gordon would have to get her a bone or toy of some sort eventually. Which he would have to talk to Tommy about to ensure he got here something that wouldn’t be dangerous to her health if she had an allergy or whatever. That was for later though, for now he just wanted to go back to his own room and relax for a bit.

Even before Gordon was quite finished closing the door behind them, Benrey was off and starting to plug the Game Cube into the TV. Being an older console and an older TV, they were perfectly suited to each other. “Wanna play Melee?” Benrey asked as he turned towards Gordon, holding up the appropriate game box.

“Sure. Go easy on me though, I’m, uh, down a hand.” Later he was going to have to do some research on how difficult it would be to get or make a controller meant for use with a single hand.

“Of course, of course. Gotta go easy on the noobs otherwise they ain’t gonna wanna play anymore and then that’s no fun.”

Gordon could perhaps find reason to be annoyed with being called a noob but it had been a long time since he’d played the original Smash Bros back on the N64. Back when the Game Cube was new, he’d considered himself too cool for Nintendo. So this was his first time owning one and thus, he was a noob. Nothing wrong with that though.

***

Even when going as easy on Gordon as he could while still actively playing the game, beating him was almost trivial. Benrey had never even played Melee against real people before but Gordon took only slightly more effort to beat than the easy bots.

Normally Benrey would’ve teased him to hell and back for being so bad but he knew why Gordon was playing so poorly. Game Cube controllers were designed to be used with two hands. Gordon straddled his on his gun hand while awkwardly splaying his left hand over it. Technically he could press the buttons and move the analog stick at the same time but not with any degree of finesse.

If Benrey had known leading Gordon to the soldiers would result in him permanently losing a part of his body, he wouldn’t have done it. There was being bad because he’d been wronged – and so Gordon would pay more emotion-filled attention to him – and then there was his actions resulting in Gordon having only one functioning hand for the rest of his life.

“If humans don’t grow back cut off bits does that mean they also don’t, uh… come back when you kill them?” He eventually had to ask once he’d knocked Gordon down to his final stock for the third time.

“Nope. As a popular meme says, ‘people die when they are killed’. It’s permanent unless it’s the kind of thing a doctor can resuscitate someone from. That’s pretty rare though.”

“What about Bubby? He comes back when he dies and he’s human.” Or at least Benrey was pretty sure he counted as such.

“He does?”

“Bro, you saw him die at least like… twice, I think. He comes back.”

“Well… Bubby’s special. He was made in the lab so even if he is human, he’s got stuff going on that the rest of us don’t. Normal humans stay dead when they die and don’t grow back lost body parts. Heck, you injure us bad enough and we’ll be permanently fucked up because of it.”

“Damn. Your species don’t got much going on, huh?” And their little fight took on a whole new meaning. Benrey had thought they’d been mostly still chill even if they’d been actively trying to kill each other. But if death was permanent for humans that meant the nothingness between it and reformation would be permanent as well, right? Making trying to kill someone a much bigger deal than Benrey had thought.

“Hey, we got plenty going on, we’re just not immortal or whatever like… whatever the fuck you are. What even are you?”

Before answering, Benrey won the round. It was so easy it wasn’t as fun as it could’ve been. While the announcer claimed him the winner, he looked over at Gordon sitting on the chair next to him. “I’m not human.”

“Yes, we’ve established that but what are you?”

Benrey hadn’t considered that question in a long time and it had been even longer since he’d cared. “I don’t know.”

“What? How do you not know what you are?”

“Just don’t.” He was Benrey and he wasn’t human, what more mattered?

“They made you in the lab too, didn’t they?”

“Um… maybe. I’m not really sure. All I remember is the lab though so probably, I guess.”

Gordon was silent for a few seconds, his face full of thought before it scrunched up in sudden anger. “God fucking damn it!”

“Whoa bro, why you so angry?” Benrey wasn’t always great at telling what kinds of things would make people mad at him but he was pretty sure that that shouldn’t have. What did he know though? Sometimes people just got mad at him even when he didn’t intend for them to.

“I’m not… or I guess I am angry. But not at you and it doesn’t matter right now. Let’s just shut up and keep playing.” He turned his attention back onto the TV, pressing start to get them back to the character select screen.

After switching characters to Link – he had a sword so he was cool – Benrey rested his controller on his knee and bent his right arm around behind himself. Playing one handed was only fair, right?

Somehow Gordon didn’t seem to notice until he won the round and turned to look at Benrey again. Whatever he’d been going to say died on his lips and his eyes widened a bit surprise. “Oh, I guess that explains why you were playing so much worse suddenly. You don’t uh… don’t gotta do that for me.”

“Nah, beating you’s too easy, gotta even the playing field a bit to make it more fun.” And it had been more fun, certainly it meant he could put real effort in without it being a steamroll. He’d even lost that round, pretty handily too because Gordon had more one-handed practice at this than him, but it was only a matter of time before he got his mojo back. And then when he started winning again, he could tease Gordon for being bad.

“Oh, um… okay then, I ain’t gonna complain about that, thanks.” Gordon turned his attention back on the game and started the next round.

***

Gordon had been planning on not tolerating sharing the bed with Benrey again. He’d been intending to insist Benrey sleep on the floor or in one of the chairs. But then Benrey had inadvertently made Gordon feel bad for him. No wonder he was so fucked up and weird, he’d spent his entire life in the lab and didn’t even know if he was made in it or they’d just found him super young and kept him around to experiment on. Idiot didn’t even seem to understand how fucked up that was which just made it worse.

Bubby had a similar life story – though he at least seemed to understand that it was horrible to some degree – which largely had to do with why Gordon had forgiven him for his part in the betrayal. Just like he’d forgiven Dr. Coomer for the whole clones trying to kill him thing. Being part of or the product of an unethical science experiment was bound to result in acting out a little, being a little strange, and maybe not fully grasping the ethics and impact of one’s actions. And so Gordon should forgive Benrey too, shouldn’t he? He didn’t want to though.

And so after wrestling with the thought on and off for hours, reaching no conclusions, it was finally time to go to bed. He’d planned what he was going to say earlier at Target; ‘You’re sleeping on the floor tonight.’ A statement, not a request, brooking no room for argument. ‘You’re not human so you don’t need to sleep in a bed. Beds are for humans,’ if Benrey tried to argue. But even if he didn’t forgive and thus very much wanted to not share the bed with Benrey again, he did still feel bad. Bad enough that making Benrey sleep on the floor seemed too harsh and with no other options available, that meant sharing the bed again.

It was big enough for two people though, no cuddling or touching necessary if they stayed close enough to separate sides. Which would leave them close to the edges, perhaps more than Gordon preferred but not so close they’d for sure roll off. They were both full grown adults, they could handle sharing a bed without making it weird. But wait, Benrey wasn’t human so…

“You’re an adult, right?” Gordon asked as stepped out of the bathroom, wearing the pajamas he’d bought from himself earlier.

Benrey looked up from where he sat on the chair by the window. “Uh… why you asking?”

“Just you know, you’re not human so I figured maybe you’re in like a larval stage or something and you’re gonna one day make yourself a cocoon and transform into something more monstrous. Like how caterpillars turn into butterflies or whatever.” Or like he had in Xen but more permanent.

“Nah… I don’t think I can cocoon myself. Though I guess I’ve never thought about it before. I could try it.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t. I mostly just want to know if you’re a child or adolescent version of whatever you are. I’ve been assuming you’re an adult this whole time but like, I don’t even know what you are and neither do you apparently so I could be wrong.”

“I’m full-grown. Or uh… full-grown in that sense. I can physically grow bigger, just don’t want to.” Great so he had no excuse for acting like an immature little brat at times. Except he still did because he’d been raised in a lab as a science experiment. Probably no one had ever bothered to try to teach him how to behave and thus even now as an adult he had no idea how to properly interact with others. That didn’t mean Gordon had to like him or forgive him but it was another good reason be the bigger man and not let Benrey get under his skin anymore. And so…

“Good, great. That means we can both be mature adults about his sharing a bed situation. There doesn’t have to be anything weird or uncomfortable about it. We were too tired to discuss or even think about it last night so let’s do this now. You sleep on one side of the bed and I sleep on the other and we don’t touch, got it? I request the side closest to the door.” That way if anything tried to attack through the window, he could make a run for the exit. Though, probably an attack was more likely from the door so maybe window side was better. It’d be easier to get cornered there though so actually…

“Oh, I thought you liked touching.”

Gordon flinched out of his thoughts as he looked over at Benrey again. “What made you think that?”

“You slept in the middle last night.” He stood to walk over and point to said middle. “Made it hard to join you without touching so I thought you did it on purpose ‘cause you wanted to touch.”

“No, I just wasn’t thinking.” That at least explained why they’d woken up so close. “Sorry, I guess. But we’re on the same page now though, right? No touching.”

“Lame bro, that sucks. But fine, whatever, no touching.” He genuinely sounded disappointed.

“Why is that lame?” And should Gordon really ask? It was too late now though, his bad tendency to speak before thinking coming back to bite him again.

“You’re warm. It feels nice.”

Oh, that wasn’t so bad. A bit weird but not anything super creepy like Gordon had feared. “All right, uh… good night then.” He turned off the lights and got into bed, staying just far enough way from the edge for there to be only little danger of rolling off in the middle of the night.

Chapter Four:

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hi Lofty!

Fellow Healthcare worker here, I think I remember you saying you work nights? I'm a dayshifter that will be transitioning to overnights in a month, and am both excited and scared since this will be something new not just for me but for my whole department.

I was curious, did you specifically choose nights, and how do you like it compared to days? I would think nights would be quieter, but I also know to expect the unexpected, and things can go from dead to hectic in an instant.

Also, do you have any advice for going to an overnight schedule? I'm sure my sleep and eating habits will be messed up for the first few weeks until I get into a routine, are there any other challenges you think I should expect?

Sorry to talk work, I know you probably come here to get away from that, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to and felt you are a safe person to talk to.

Anyway, have a good day/night/whenever you happen to be awake! (I am well aware our schedules can be very wacky)

Hello! :D

I did in fact specifically choose nights. On my unit you have the option to do just nights or to rotate, and you can request to go on a waiting list to work only day shift. I prefer nights, but it’s a mixed bag to be perfectly honest. (This got long so I’m putting everything under the cut)

What I like about nights is that there are fewer people (there aren’t eight thousand teams rounding through the room who never introduce themselves to me and come and go without telling me a darn thing, or they ask me a million questions), visitor restrictions apply (I love family coming to see the patient… just don’t love having to entertain them or be interrogated by them while I’m trying to do stuff lol), the coworkers are much chiller it’s a very different vibe between day workers and night workers, and no management.

What I don’t like about nights is essentially not work related - it freaking kills your life outside of work. Let’s say you work three nights in a row. When you get off it’s the morning of the next day, and you can either make yourself stay up and be a zombie but awake to enjoy that day off, or you sleep the entire day, which wastes a day off, and then you’re still nocturnal for your remaining time off, which makes doing normal people things difficult. It can strain your mental health, especially with lack of sunlight, so you just have to find a way to handle it that works best for you.

I will say, there is one more thing that I don’t like about nights: many providers feel like nights are just “status quo time,” in other words, don’t do any interventions to rock the boat. I’ve fought and argued with doctors multiple times for patients who are showing warning signs of decompensating only to be ignored because they don’t want to do anything drastic on night shift. Had it happen pretty recently and just about wanted to punch an intensivist (I had told the resident that we needed to temporize the patient’s K because it was 5.5, and given his AKI and low UO we should consider options like diuresing or even CRRT and since the resident was brand new she listened, but the intensivist later was like “eh you didn’t need to do that” and wouldn’t do anything about the pt’s nonexistent urine output and ATJEIWOAJFDKSALJFEIWO I do not like that man)

Advice for going to night shift! I’ll make it bullet points so I stop having these giant paragraphs:

When possible, try to cluster shifts together. That way you’re not constantly jumping back and forth with your sleep cycle

The day before you work, there are multiple ways to make yourself nocturnal in preparation. I usually push myself to stay up as late as possible, and go to bed between 4-7am. Others will take a nap in the afternoon before their shift.

Black out curtains are your beloved. They make sleeping during the day so much easier. If you can’t afford those at the moment, an eye mask is a cheaper and effective alternative.

Many of us need some kind of noise to help settle our minds after work since many go to bed directly after work. A fan, a white noise machine, anything like that. I personally like ambience videos off YouTube, rain and thunderstorms or crickets and stuff.

If you’re trying to fall asleep after a shift and it just ain’t happening, there are a few things you can try. If benadryl makes you sleepy, you can try using that, though I don’t necessarily recommend making it a habit so much as a backup plan. Some people say magnesium makes them sleepy. I’ve used alcohol before to help me sleep but it doesn’t promise the best sleep. Another option is carbs! I’ll eat just a couple slices of bread or something and then you get a nice little food coma feeling.

Try not to kill yourself with your caffeine intake lol. And note when to stop caffeinating so you can fall asleep! I usually have to stop by 4am or I won’t be able to sleep right after work. (Though lately I’ve given up on falling asleep right after work, it usually takes my mind a couple hours to settle down so I fall asleep closer to 10/11am or so)

Note that working nights is probably gonna take a toll on your mental and physical health. Take vitamin D supplements to compensate for the lack of daylight, it’ll help boost your mood too. A lot of us have light lamp therapy stuff too, especially for winter. Try to find a good balance of letting yourself rest at home to wind down and being with some kind of support system.

Have fun! Night shift crew is almost always awesome, we’re wacky and fun and laid back! :)

[sailor-aviator]

Sailor-Aviator's FAQ

Hi! Welcome to my FAQ page! Here is a list of the different questions I get asked fairly frequently or things I've had to address more than once.

✨ Can I tag you in my fics?

Did I ask to be tagged? Then no.💛

(You will be blocked if you do this anyway.)

✨ Can I make fan art of your fics?

My brother in Christ…..we will have a spring wedding.

(Just let me know/tag me/give me credit)

✨ Can I be added to your taglist?

I do not have a taglist. If you would like to be notified on when I post, follow my sideblog ( @sailoraviator-library ) and turn on post notifications. I will ignore requests asking to be put on a taglist from here on out.

✨ Do you have a posting schedule?

Not currently, no.

✨ Can I request something?

Yes! But please keep in mind that I might say no if I'm not interested or comfortable with the topic. Usually, I will send you over to an artist/writer who I think might be able to fulfill your request if I cannot.

✨ You haven't answered my ask/request/questions or updated my favorite story in a while. Why?

While I try to get to requests, sometimes the writing juice just isn't plentiful for an idea. Also, I'm a grown woman with a full time job, friends, family, and other hobbies/obligations outside of this blog. I travel for work which means at any given time, I'm sitting in a hotel room after multiple hours of driving. If I have time, I try to answer everything, but I also have (as of 7.30.24) 94 requests sitting in my inbox, with some from a couple of months ago. Please be patient.

✨ I want to write a story, but it's similar to yours. Is that okay?

Listen, my love, as long as it's not a complete ripoff of one of my stories, I really don't care what you write. You want to write about mermaids? Please do! You want to write about cursed pirates? Go ahead! The nature of AUs is that you are going to use similar tropes for the stories, and the nature of tropes is that you are going to have similarities to stories that use the same ones. There's only so many ways you can write a meet cute in a bar.

✨ Will you promote my fic?

I try to reblog fics I come across, and promote the ones from smaller authors as much as possible. However, that does not mean my blog is a billboard for you to promote your fics on. I was once a small time author, so I know how hard it can be to get your stuff out there. Shoving your work at me is a guaranteed way to get me to NOT read it and actively ignore it in the future.

✨ Why do you have so many WIPs (Works in Progress)? You know you probably won't finish all of those, right?

I do, and that's okay. That's the nature of writing fanfic, unfortunately. Not everything is going to get finished. You also have to understand that just because I haven't touched a story in a month or two doesn't mean it's been abandoned. The writing muses just haven't given me inspiration or motivation to write for it. I will make an announcement and take something off of my masterlist if I have decided to abandon it.

✨ What are some thing I can do to get my writing noticed?

Tag appropriately. I cannot tell you how many people are going to scroll past your writing if you tag a character fic with the actor (for example, tagging a Jake "Hangman" Seresin fic with Glen Powell). In fact, you are more likely to get yourself blocked versus someone reading your fic. Make use of the "Read More" feature on your fics. People are more likely to block you than read your fic if they have to scroll endlessly past your fics. People will find your fics by searching the appropriate tags. Just give it time.

✨ What are some things I should do when posting/writing?

Do NOT write real person fic. It's one thing to write about a character that doesn't exist, it's something else writing about a real life person who will suffer the consequences when people will inevitably mix reality with fiction. How would you feel if someone wrote a story about you where you did all of these things you'd never do?

Put appropriate trigger/content warnings above your fic. If you are going to write about sensitive topics, it is SO important that you warn people before they reach the story. Writing about losing a child, cancer, or sexual behavior? Tag it explicitely so people can filter it. Do not censor your warnings and do not use "angst" as a catch all. Allow people to protect themselves.

✨ I didn't like [insert fic here].

I literally don't care. Telling me you didn't like something instead of scrolling without a hateful comment makes you a loser, actually.

✨ Do you take non-fanfic related questions?

Yes!! I encourage them, actually! Never feel like you can't shoot me an ask that's not related to fanfic or fandom because I love chatting!! Even if you want to chat with me about fics, I'm more than happy to do so!

✨ Who do you write for?

Mainly Top Gun Maverick at the moment, but I might write for other fandoms in the future! I wrote reader inserts, and it’s good to note that my reader inserts are female unless otherwise stated!

This is by no means a comprehensive list, and will be updated as I get more questions!

[zahri-melitor]

Okay, Babspoll thoughts.

John Ostrander & Kim Yale: it’s all about Oracle Year One. Their combined rehab job of Barbara as an effective hero on the pages of Suicide Squad, then writing her reasoning? It’s beautiful, I know why they’re popular.

Alan Moore: I did say everyone significant. Unfortunately Moore simultaneously wrote the most significant thing that ever happened to Barbara as a character, while failing to centre HER in the narrative of her injury.

Chuck Dixon: as much as I respect Ostrander and Yale’s work, we wouldn’t have the Oracle we know and remember today if Dixon hadn’t given us Birds of Prey and Dick/Barbara (and Barbara & Dinah what do you mean this is completely straight). He made her an essential part of the nascent Batfam. He gave her so many community connections and made her a central figure among the heroes. He made her a team leader. Plus he wrote Batgirl Year One, which is the main reimagining of Babs’ Batgirl period post-Crisis and well beloved.

Gail Simone gave Barbara what nobody else had ever bothered to do - more women friends. She also altered the feel of Birds of Prey to be less “single agent sent in on a mission” James Bond style and to be a more complex juggle of experts with different skillsets for larger missions. She gave Barbara more scope. Simone also ups the ‘Barbara as a mentor’ stakes and has her training more teenagers, and I love Babs as a mentor figure.

Tony Bedard managed two particular stand out moves in his run, in my opinion. The first was the fight scene with the Joker, where Barbara got to tell him in person “you have taken nothing from me”. The second is the way Babs moves everyone to Platinum Flats and openly denies this is partly due to proximity to where Ollie and Dinah are living, I don’t know what you’re talking about, also agent please keep spying on the Arrows and reporting everything they’re doing to me.

Kelley Puckett as much made this list for his two Babsgirl issues as for Batgirl 2000. He’s one of the few writers who writes her both as Batgirl and as Oracle in this period, so he’s thought about the difference. Also he created the Barbara as mentor dynamic, which I love and which has provided so much over the years.

Bryan Q. Miller is probably my least favourite Babs writer who isn’t Alan Moore. His best stuff with her is with Wendy/Proxy - I feel he missed the mark with her otherwise.

Grant Morrison gave us the main Oracle on the JLA run. And respect for putting her in that weight class and respecting how important her skills were to the whole community. She’s helped save the planet a time or two.

John Francis Moore I popped in as he actually has an interesting overlooked duology of issues with Barbara and Selina: one while Babs is Batgirl and one while she is Oracle. He also wrote Batman: Family which has one of the broadest scale Batfam team ups of post-Crisis (I think the only event with more core and peripheral members involved is Battle for the Cowl). And I’m always interested in more pre-Oracle content.

Devin Grayson uses Barbara a lot but has the usual issue that she’s SO dramatic. Her best stuff with Babs is probably the Dick/Babs breakup phone calls in Nightwing #100, and how she counsels Dick and Tim in Gotham Knights #26. Unfortunately Grayson also wrote GK #6 which turned the already-complicated ‘how is Barbara biologically related to Jim’ into an even more painful snarl. Jim’s her dad no question but didn’t need to be her bio dad, you know?

Overlooked (ran out of slots): Barbara Randall Kesel. Kesel wrote both Flawed Gems and the Last Batgirl Story, and established the immediate post-Crisis state of Barbara. A lot of this was later overlaid/retconned by Batgirl Year One, but Kesel’s important as she’s the writer who brought Babs over to post-Crisis.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Two-Face ought to be a top Batman sexyman!

Of the candidates left in @batman-heritageposts' Batman Sexyman tournament, in my mind Two-Face is the best suited to be considered the best Batman sexyman, even though unlike Scarecrow, he does not even have an actual entry on Sexypedia! To prove my point, I have gone onto Sexypedia's trope list and taken the liberty of actually compiling a list of all the sexyman tropes that I believe can definitively apply to him. So for your viewing pleasure, the list:

Angst Tragic backstory. Lamenting the life he's lost as well as his own present existence. Two-Face is FULL of all kinds of angst! And given that he used to be besties with Bruce, he even makes Batman angst too!

Chaoslord Comes with the territory of his gimmicks. He is often noted as being Batman's most unpredictable villain because he lets a coin make all of the decisions for him! Even he can't predict what he's going to do next! Chaos vs order is a persistent theme with him.

Criminal Obviously.

Dealmaker More in a gambling way than in a supernatural 'deal with the devil' way. But he often makes promises and deals and will keep to them so long as the coin flips the right way. Also he used to be a lawyer. Kinda comes with the territory.

DILF He may not be a canonical parent right now, but boy does he have the vibes for it!

Distinctive Voice (Two-Face) While Harvey tends to talk in a pretty normal voice, Two-Face often talks in a growl. Depends on the iteration though.

Divorced We know for a fact that Harvey was married... And while in current canon his wife is supposed to be dead, in many canons it's often unclear whether she's dead, they split up for whatever reason through whatever methods, or whether they're still together. Because you know. Continuity! In any case, him being divorced from Gilda isn't an unpopular theory. A valid one, certainly given how he's caught up in a cycle of being at Arkham and on the streets as a criminal.

Dominating (Two-Face) Usually Two-Face, not Harvey so much, and through sheer force of personality. Big step on me vibes here!

Duality The basis of his entire character and gimmick!

Egotistical (Two-Face) Harvey tends to be a pretty humble guy. He certainly has a lot to brag about, being a legitimate legal genius and all, but he tends to keep it on the down-low. Two-Face on the other hand? He ABSOLUTELY thinks that he's hot shit and will brag about it, and will shoot at anyone who doesn't want to listen or disagrees with him!

Eye Imagery His whole asymmetrical deal leads to him having very... Interesting eyes... In many iterations he doesn't have an eyelid on the scarred side, making that eye look bulbous in comparison. Also the whole getting half of his face melted off thing led to his eye color changing in many iterations. So as a minimum, he's usually portrayed as having some form of heterochromia.

Gay/Questionable LGBT Rep The fact that this man who is Bi everything NOT being confirmed as interested in men should be considered a CRIME! Let Harvey make out with Bruce already!

Hot-headed (Two-Face) Harvey can usually keep his cool, but Two-Face is noted for being very hot-headed. When Harvey loses his temper, that's usually when Two-Face ends up fronting.

Intelligence (mostly Harvey) While Two-Face is certainly no idiot, Harvey is likely the smarter one by sheer virtue of he's an actual genius when it comes to matters involving the law. Law genius also translates pretty well to criminal genius, turns out. There was a reason that Harvey was District Attorney. He was just the best damn lawyer in all of Gotham and for good reason!

Knifemurderer Yep! Two-Face sure has murdered a whole lot of people! Two-Face is probably most well-known for deciding whether to kill people or not based off of a coin flip.

Magnificent Bastard In many iterations, fits this trope to a T.

Power of Love In his third ever appearance, he decided to stop being a criminal because Gilda still loved him despite his appearance. Since then, this is a theme that continues to pop up now and again with his character- that so long as people love Harvey, he can be saved.

Questionable Neurodivergent Rep Is explicitly shown to be plural and having OCD. The representation is often... Not so great... Though it does seem to be a thing that many writers are trying to improve on.

Scars Literally half of his entire face, and oftenhis body will be scarred up too! It's where he gets his moniker of "Two-Face" and is therefore deeply tied to his character and gimmicks.

Tall Usually.

Twisted Freaking Cycle Path Yep! Usually with DID.

Unkempt (Two-Face) Harvey usually keeps pretty tidy, but sometimes Two-Face will be unkempt on his side of the body.

Villain Obviously.

Morally Grey Obviously, again. Also this is like his entire deal!

Well-Dressed/Suitguy He's practically THE suitguy of the Batman rogues gallery! With snazzy two-tones suits that are split down the middle too! Definitely among the best dressed of the rogues.

White Hair Often his disfigured side will have messy white hair, if he has hair on that side at all.

Meanwhile, how many sexyman tropes apply to Dick Grayson? I'll be honest, I know nothing about the Talon iteration of Dick Grayson and therefore more of the sexyman tropes likely apply to him than your bog standard Dick Grayson... BUT IS IT 27 TROPES!!!??? Even Scarecrow doesn't have 27 tropes attributed to him on his sexyman page! And I didn't even include the more subjective tropes the require a fair bit of popularity like Johnlocked, Controversial, or Fanon Splintering!

Do the right thing and prove that Two-Face is the best Batman sexyman!

Vote Harvey "Two-Face" Dent for Batman sexyman!

[touchreceptors]

opm 179/224(jp) TL commentary

so, about the Saitama vs Tatsumaki battle in the latest chapter.

Normally, I’m tired enough at the end of the work day that when the JP OPM chapter updates drop, I'm happy to just skim the chapter and wait for the usual fan TL team to do their good work and drop the English translation the next day. Usually, I find them very decent and competent.

This time around, however, Saitama’s lines on this particular page had me sitting up a little straighter.

I thought his word choice was oddly far too chummy given his usual personality and his attitude towards people like Tatsumaki, so I decided to check the original Japanese pages again and sure enough, found that I gleaned a very different idea from the JP lines. I would definitely have translated these differently.

Let’s take a look at the 2 phrases in question.

1. “She’s not in the mood to chat at all” (JP: 全然会話になんねえーな )

The plain form of this (i.e. after you distill it from Saitama’s typical style of speech) is 全然会話にならない which is far more often representative of the sentiment “It’s impossible trying to get through to you/this person”. It literally translates to “This is not becoming a 2-way conversation at all” or "you can't have a 2-way conversation with this person"; Google “会話にならない 英語” and you will see multiple suggestions along the lines of “It’s no use talking to you.”

This phrase is used to indicate that the other party is not willing to listen, usually to something important the speaker has to say. Saitama isn’t looking to have a friendly “chat”, he’s trying to make a point to Tatsumaki about not attacking other heroes and laying off his new home before that gets destroyed too. So, while the use of “chat” may help to preserve the lazy informality of his speaking style, it downplays the severity of the situation and his annoyance at her not getting his point. 

I personally would’ve used “Ugh, she’s not gonna listen at all, is she” or “Ugh, talking isn’t gonna work at all, is it” or a similar variation.

2. “Guess I’ll keep her company for now” (JP: 相手しとくか)

Context is everything. Just because “keep company” is the first option in a whole list of different definitions that pops up when you do a dictionary search doesn’t mean that it’s the right definition to use for a translation/localization. Nor does it mean it’s how the phrase is most commonly used in practice.

I'd wager you don’t even need to have much RL experience in Japan or with Japanese people to know which definition should've been picked. Watch enough shonen and sports anime with the original Japanese audio and you’ll soon learn that any time there is a pair activity, game and most importantly, a fight, 相手 i.e. “aite” refers to “opponent”. In a classroom setting, being asked to “相手して” doesn’t mean to keep a student “company”, it means to take up the opposite role in pair work. I’d add that in the close to 15 years I’ve spent studying and/or speaking Japanese, and the 3.5 years spent living and working in Japan, I’ve never heard this phrase being used to mean “keep somebody company” - but since experience can also be subjective, let’s just look at what we can be certain about: context, and our own knowledge of the target language and all its nuances.

a. Context - What’s happening, and who is saying it: Are they fighting? Yes. As opponents? Yes. Is Saitama referring to their fight and a strategy he's going to take (i.e. letting her tire herself out)? Most certainly, yes. Is this line being said by the same guy who thinks of Fubuki only as an acquaintance who's always dragging him into her business against his will, the same guy who in the last frame of this very chapter is thinking to himself "Man I reeeeeaallly wanna go home"? Yes. Should you have picked a definition more related to fighting and opponents from the dictionary's MANY different options like, idk, "take on a rival" to base your translation on? Yyeeess??? Why wouldn't you have?

b. Decision-making when localizing a text: What does “keep somebody company” imply in English? Is there a better way to phrase this and make the localized script more representative of the situation and the character's intent, and less loaded with English meaning that isn't present anywhere else in the text? I mean, Saitama certainly isn't suddenly thinking about loneliness and company when he mentions the lack of buildings and people - a safer distance away from civilization he deliberately went to the trouble of bringing Tatsumaki to.

I'd take some creative/artistic license here myself to make the language less stiff, but would definitely have gone for something less distorted, like "Guess I'll keep her occupied for now". If unsure, then even a more literal "Guess I'll take her on for now" would do a very decent job of conveying Saitama's intent, staying faithful to the original language without sounding too stiff when inserted into the sentence they came up with.

But well, who'm I to talk, eh? Translators are humans, there's no way to be completely objective in any interpretation, and they still do far more work than I am willing/able to do for this manga every update. I just wonder if they were letting certain biases guide their interpretations rather more than usual this time. Suffice to say, I'll be very curious to see how the guys at Viz choose to frame this bit for the official English TLs.

[tonguetiedraven]

Ao No Summer 2023 Prompt: Shopping!

I went bonrin for this one. Short and sweet!

(⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~♡~(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)

Shopping with Rin was always a bit of an adventure. Ryuuji had been on many adventures with Rin, but shopping was the chaotic sort of adventure that felt like it really shouldn't be one.

But then again, Rin had always made food and adventure. Rin also managed to feed the two of them, Kuro, whatever other random demon had found its way into their house, lunch for Yukio for each work day, and something to feed any random visitors they might have. (And it couldn't be something as simple as instant ramen because Mephisto had given Rin a personal grudge against that for a meal and he had a tendency to growl anytime that Ryuuji mentioned it as an option.)

All of which meant that shopping trips with Rin tended to be a bit long, and strangely involved. Ryuuji would suggest making a list every time they had to go to the store, and every time they went to the store, his idea was shot immediately down. Usually with a look from Rin like he was questioning his boyfriend's intelligence for even bringing it up. Ryuuji didn't get looked at like he was stupid all that often, but there was something about shopping, specifically grocery shopping, that made Rin use that look far too often.

The lists were never made, and the trips were never quick.

Part of the problem was that Rin liked to look at everything. He would pick through all the produce, move every can, squeeze every loaf, pick up every spice and squint at it, check the prices and check them again, and spend long enough in the freezer section that Ryuuji almost always wished he had brought a coat. The boy Ryuuji intended to marry someday simply could not leave a grocery store unless he felt like he knew everything it contained in its depths.

The boy Ryuuji loved also couldn't remember something for longer than 5 minutes, so every time they came back to the store Rin seemed to have to once again reacquaint himself with the entirety of it.

It would be utterly exasperating if it wasn't also so fascinating to watch Rin create new recipes and ideas right in front of him. A random vegetable would give him an idea for a brand new masterpiece that sounded slightly strange, or entirely incomprehensible to Ryuuji while Rin eagerly described it at a quick ramble, usually with incorrect words, and then the moment they got home, Rin would start to create his new masterpiece and it would be delicious and the memory of their lengthy trip would begin to fade.

The second reason for their lengthy trips, other than the aforementioned need to know everything in the store, and the tendency to create new recipes while he was roaming the aisles, was that neither Ryuuji or Rin (or Yukio for that matter) made anything close to a lot of money. Exorcist had fairly meager salaries, and there was rent to be paid, insurance to be bought (because Rin's method of fighting did tend to result in some things burning, and a few buildings or furniture being mildly destroyed), new clothes to be bought because the fighting and flames were rough on them too, and they never had a lot of money to spend on food.

Yet, one would never know with the quality and the quantity of food that Rin managed to produce. Ryuuji could happily tell them that it was because Rin spent hours on finding the best deals. Rin—who had failed most of his math classes and had only passed any of them because Ryuuji, Yukio, and Konekomaru had dragged him through them—would stare at the prices and compare them and figure out substitutes or how he could completely remove specific ingredients just so that he could fit their price range.

Most people considered Rin to be an artist in the kitchen, and Ryuuji would be the first to agree to that description. Rin was able to create masterpieces on a whim in the kitchen. He could sculpt beautiful items and create exquisite new tastes all while making it feel like love, but...

Ryuuji thought that Rin was also an incredible sight in a grocery store. He was an artist there as well, not as one traditionally thought of them, but there was something beautifully creative and incredibly resourceful and the way he would take the challenge of their tiny budget and make it last and stretch and be something delicious and exciting. And while he would not be opposed to shorter trips, he still thought it was fun to watch Rin work.

[heloflor]

Probably my hottest Mario take: I might actually like the 1986 Anime Movie more than the 2023 Movie. Yes the 2023 one is a better movie overall while the 86 Anime didn’t age well and is filled with plot conveniences and random things happening just because, along with the bad animation, questionable voice acting, weird soundtrack and sound design, but idk I still really like it.

It’s just that there’s something very charming about that movie. It came out a single year after the first Super Mario Bros, back when there was little to no lore about the Mushroom Kingdom, and it really shows in the way enemies are used and random characters exist but also you can tell they made an effort with the little they had. It’s like watching the very beginning of the franchise, way before it became the phenomenon it is today, and there’s something about it I really like.

I’m also fascinated by the way Peach and Bowser were written in it. This was the first time these two were given a personality past “evil bad guy” and “damsel in distress”. And not only are they both great in the little screentime they have, but these new personality traits, given one single year after the creation of those characters, remain to this day their personality, albeit with a few small tweaks (Bowser being a dad becoming a huge part of his character, Peach losing her temper in most versions). Kinda funny how these two are the biggest highlight of the movie despite only being in it for like 5 minutes, but still, love what was done with them.

And when it comes to comparing it to the 2023 Movie, I actually find it hilarious how many similarities the two have, including having the exact same skeleton for their story. It’s been 37 years yet Nintendo is still writing the same thing, I love it (more on the comparison here).

Oh yeah and because I just know there are some people who will go “the hell you like about this movie?!”, here’s an actual list!

- Literally everything about the intro is great once you get past the weirdness of the Mushroom people coming out the TV. We get Mario playing the Famicom, Peach managing to defend herself for a while before getting overwhelmed, Mario being hilariously chill about all of this, Mario more than willing to fight Bowser until he sees just how enormous Bowser is and gets intimidated, the back and forth between Peach and Mario hiding behind each other, that moment where Bowser gets rid of Mario with one finger and then smiles about it followed by a beat and then Peach starts throwing furniture at him, the Game Over screen, Luigi reacting like you’d expect. Just. Everything about this scene is great!

- The wooden title cards look amazing. It’s a small thing, but I love the “fairytale” vibe it gives the movie. And now that I think about it, that might also be why I’m being so nice with this movie, since fairytales do tend to be small stories with little going on and not always making sense, making it easier to forgive its flaws.

- The shop scene is also very solid in showing us who Mario and Luigi are as people and how they play off of each-other. On that note, I like their dynamic. It’s a bit of the usual bickering siblings who would still do anything for each other, but it works.

- The meeting with the wizard guy is also solid with the way Mario and Luigi react to things. It’s a bit of an exposition dump, but you can tell they try to make it entertaining. Plus, it works for how simplistic the story is (yes I’m giving this movie a lot of slack).

- The travel montages...yeah I’m gonna be honest with this one, it sucks. I do like how they use them to show the different power-ups they get, but it’s still very boring and I skip them when watching the movie. Except for the last one on the airship, that one is pleasant.

- Luigi tripping on mushrooms. Do I even need to say more? But yeah that whole sequence with the paratroopa is nice (once you get past the fact that a turtle made a bunch of birds). And I like how clever Mario gets to save himself and Luigi from the babies.

- I’m not one to care about people drawing smut of cartoon characters, but the internet is sleeping on those Toads. That’d actually be hilarious if the main takeaway the fandom had of this movie were to be the Toad girls. And on an unrelated note, their designs is more original than the Toads we get now!

- The whole sequence with the Piranha plants and the Lakitu honestly bores me and drags on a bit. The Piranhas might also be the worst animated part of this whole thing. I do like how much of a selfish bitch the Lakitu is though. Idk, that’s a fun character in their shittiness.

- The scene in the cavern is fine. I like how the Hammer Bros is used as that intimidating guard, and we get to see Luigi be the one to solve the issue this time around! On that note, I love that Luigi’s love for money isn’t only for jokes but is at times used as a plot point (him later on flooding the castle and finding Mario’s star). Mario’s daydream is also pretty cute.

- I probably watched that scene between Peach and Bowser a dozen times since I re-discovered this movie this year. I adore the way they are characterized, especially in the context of this being the first time they’ve been written this way. Bonus points for Bowser who has no rights being as adorable as he is in this. Ultimately this scene doesn’t really advance the story, but I still love that we got some insight on who these two are at such an early stage of the franchise’s existence.

- The underwater scene is also a slug to go through, though it’s interesting to see how they used the Cheep Cheep. Also Mario dressing up as a ballerina while the dog references that one queer music star is a yes.

- I find the third act of this movie to be honestly solid. Sure there are some contrivances with the fire platforms room and the water somehow destroying the castle, but I still like it. Granted it might be due to how much screentime Bowser gets here. Speaking of which, it’s actually surprising that Bowser turns down Peach when she promises to marry him if he lets Mario alone, with Bowser refusing because he knows Mario might be trouble since he already ate two of the power-ups. This is probably top five smartest things Bowser has done in the entire franchise. This isn’t an insult to Games Bowser btw, I fucking love this dumbass, and he is kind of a dumbass when interacting with Peach in this movie as well!

- While the ending is hated for a reason and I do find it dumb as well, it’s still incredibly sweet how Mario accepts it and wishes happiness on Peach.

So overall, is the 86 Anime good? Ehh, not really. But if you’re able to get past all the weird shit going on, it’s very charming as a piece of Mario history, and it’s especially funny to see all the small things that end up becoming a core part of the franchise. And because of that, I can’t help but like it more than the 2023 Movie, even if the 2023 one is an overall better movie (I’d give the 86 Anime a 4,5/10 and the 2023 one a 6/10 in terms of movie quality; but in terms of enjoyment the 86 Anime is above the 2023 Movie for me)