#also I have the biggest crush on shin

[hannieehaee]

BAD HABIT

18+ / mdi

summary: hiding his secret crush on you was already hard enough for jungkook, and after getting bit by a spider, he'd now have the grueling task of hiding his brand-new superhero identity from you.

content: spiderman!jungkook, f2l!jungkook, based on mcu's spiderman and is supposed to take place during/after civil war but with an aged up spiderman, college-aged Jungkook and reader, picture tattoo-less 2019 jungkook, pining, slow burn-ish, afab reader, smut, dry humping, fingering, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 9.4k

a/n: despite the spiderman aspect of it, this is just a cute little love story between two besties there's no angst or action here lol sorry</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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"Oh my God, did you see what he did last night?", you excitedly shoved your phone in Jungkook's direction, showing him yet another news article detailing Spiderman's newest act of bravery.

"What, did he stop another bank robbery?", Jungkook showed disinterest in your interruption, continuing to pay attention to what was playing on the TV.

"Okay, booo! Why are you so lame about him? He's so cool," you complained, setting your back against the couch again with a frown.

"I dunno," he shrugged, "Just don't see what the big deal is about him. There's cooler superheroes out there."

With the light from the TV shinning on the two of you, you allowed the content from the movie to consume you for a bit before arguing back. You always argued back when it came to Spiderman. This was practically routine to Jungkook by now.

"Like Iron Man? Sure, Tony Stark's cool, but think about it — Spiderman's probably just a regular person like you and me. Can you imagine doing all he does while keeping it all undercover?", you rambled on, "Also his body's crazy," you added as an afterthought, almost whispering it to yourself.

Jungkook couldn't help but chuckle at this, inadvertently looking down at his own abdomen before responding, "How do you know he's got a nice body under that suit?"

"You can literally see his abs through the suit! Duh!", you tutted at him as if he were an idiot to question you.

"Ah, right. My bad," he chuckled, "Okay, whatever. Just pay attention to the movie. You can ramble about him all you want after we finish, okay?," he held up his pinky towards you in a childish fashion, grinning when you giggled at him and intertwined your pinky with him, grumbling a 'fine' in mock annoyance.

Now with you both putting your focus on the movie, — Jungkook's all-time favorite, Back to the Future — Jungkook had the opportunity to lose himself to his own head, thinking about your recent obsession with Spiderman — New York's newest hero.

After Spiderman's recent appearance at an encounter with the Avengers in Germany, followed by a more prominent presence in the streets of New York with a revamped suit, you had instantly formed an intense interest in the masked man. Prior to that, the hero was mostly a man hidden in the shadows — a myth to all those in Queens. Almost immediately upon his return to New York he became a sensation across the world, but specially around the area in which he'd serve the people and fight all evil around.

Among all those fans stood you, maybe the biggest of them all.

It didn't take you long to develop a liking to the masked man upon his sudden resurgence. Jungkook had known you to get overly invested in your interests (there had been a few instances throughout your friendship where you'd demonstrated as such), but he never thought you'd be the type to develop such a blatant crush on someone you virtually knew nothing about. Past the fact that he was the youngest addition to the Avengers, there was not much information about Spiderman out to the general public, yet you were quite loud about your crush on him to everyone you knew — especially to Jungkook, who just so happened to be your best friend.

Unfortunately to Jungkook, you were entirely unaware that the man you were actually crushing on was your best friend in disguise.

And even more unfortunate to him, you were even more unaware of Jungkook's own crush on you.

Did this count? Were you technically crushing on Jungkook?

He chose to go for the most pesimistic answer and assume that your interest in Spiderman would immediately die upon finding out his real identity. Throughout your many years of knowing each other — all through the ups and downs of middle school and high school all the way to university — you'd never once shown anything but platonic interest in him.

To be fair, Jungkook also never gave you any clear indication of his feelings for you. He liked to think that he was discrete about it; that you had no idea of the embarrassing crush he'd been cultivating since freshman year of high school. Fortunately, you appeared to be far too oblivious to it, leaving Jungkook to hold not one but two life-altering secrets, never once considering letting you in on either of them.

For now, all Jungkook could do was make up lame excuses for his sudden absences and to grumble any time Spiderman's name was brought up. Part of him held disdain for Spiderman due to having to keep him a secret from you, but most of his dislike was born out of jealousy over your interest in him. What did he have that Jungkook didn't? Nothing! But he could never tell you that, leading him to a never-ending dilema that he could entrust in no one.

The movie left his mind for the next of the night, much more so when you seemed to become disinterested again, cuddling against him as you prepared to let yourself fall asleep. This was common in your relationship, though it was always strictly platonic. It always left Jungkook wanting more, but still content at having you by his side.

The next time you brought up Spiderman was the morning after. That night, you'd fallen asleep soon before the Back to the Future marathon ended, which was coincidentally the same time in which he usually went out to patrol the city looking for crime nearby. Leaving you comfy on his couch and cuddled against some of his plushies, he made his way out to check in on the city. That night was particularly calm, as he only prevented two street burglaries before making his way back to a still-sleeping you.

Naturally, he fell asleep next to you, only waking up the following morning when you'd woken him up by shaking his side, exclaiming something about some news you'd just seen online. Before even coming to his senses, he could already tell what you were so excited about. It was a conflicting feeling really, consisting of half cockiness and half annoyance. He felt pride at how impressed you were at his actions (despite not having knowledge that they were his), though he also felt annoyed that it was his secret identity who took credit for it.

With a yawn, he finally turned to you in order to entertain your insistence on raving about the masked man who'd been spotted once again last night.

"Oh my God! Jungkook, look! He stopped some burglars just a few streets over! Do you think he passed by here? — What if he climbed on our walls? That's so crazy," you went a mile a minute, "Fuck, I can't believe I slept through it," you pouted by the end of your rambles, practically huffing and puffing.

Once more, he couldn't help but chuckle at your antics. Despite his internal annoyance at the mere existence of Spiderman, he was also thankful his presence gave him a first row seat to how adorably infatuated you could get.

"Not like you could've met him anyways," but then he burst your bubble anyways.

"Stop! I could never meet him, I'd embarrass myself too badly. He's too cool for me anyways," you laughed to yourself, beginning to get up and taking some clothes from one of the drawers nearby, — Jungkook's apartment housed some of your clothes specifically for nights like these — heading over to the bathroom and presumably beginning to get dressed as soon as you were outside of his line of sight, not even bothering to close the door.

"Really? He could just be a loser under that costume," he commented, knowing it'd get under your skin.

Leaning back against the couch with his arms behind his head in a relaxed manner, he didn't even need his spidey reflexes to predict the shirt you threw his way in defiance due to his comment. He simply let it land on his chest, chuckling at your cute childishness.

"C'mon! You don't have to defend him from every little comment I make. He's a superhero, right? He's got tough skin," he whined at you, crumpling the shirt into a ball and tossing it into the clothes bin nearby with an expert precision.

Finally coming out of the restroom fully dressed, you grumbled at him as you ransacked his living room in search for your makeup bag, "You're just jealous of him," you hummed, disinterested in his complaints.

"Jealous? Of what? Not having to risk my life on a daily basis?"

Oh, how he wished that was the case sometimes.

"Spiderman must have so much game. Meanwhile, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?", you mocked him, finally spotting your makeup and sitting on the floor in front of his full length mirror in order to do your makeup.

Getting up, he sat on a beanbag nearby, watching you through the reflection with a scowl.

"M-me? Without game? You're the one crushing on a nameless man who probably doesn't even have a place to live! At least I have my bachelor pad — which, by the way, you stay at free of charge!", he rebutted, somewhat offended but not really. He just really needed to win this fight against himself.

"Please, I could totally pull him if we were in the same room for five minutes," you smirked at him through the reflection, somehow grooming your eyebrows to absolute perfection despite the current argument going on.

"You literally just said he was too cool for you," he recalled back.

"Under that suit, he's just a man. And I could pull any man."

Pull me, please! a desperate gremlin in his head practically whined as soon as you said the words.

With a shake of his head, he cleared his mind of that thought, "Okay, valid. So, you mean to tell me that you're just waiting for the chance to catch him alone? Is that why you haven't dated in months?", he genuinely wondered.

"Maybe," you mumbled, now moving onto your blush, one of Jungkook's favorite touches in your makeup regimen, "How about you? How come you haven't seriously dated a girl in years? Any secret crush I need to know about? I'm very open about mine," you dug in, unknowingly making Jungkook break a sweat at the questioning glare you sent him through the mirror before refocusing your gaze on yourself.

Facing Captain America and the Winter Soldier had made him less nervous than this very moment.

He squirmed in his seat a bit before managing to let out a credible response, "Just- just not into anyone these days," he lamely responded.

"Boo," you boo'd him, "That's lame. Maybe if you wingman me with Spidey I could help you out with some girl," you suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," and that was that for that subject.

After that, the subject wasn't brought up again for the rest of the day. You and Jungkook followed your usual plans, walking over to uni side by side as soon as you finished getting ready and spending any of your down time together. Unlike last night, you opted to head back to your own apartment for the night, leaving Jungkook to freely roam the city in disguise while you probably daydreamed about the guy he wasn't. He kept you in his mind for the rest of the day, sighing any time he remembered how easy it was for you to want to pair him off to another girl, knowing his feelings surely would never be mutual.

Unfortunately for Jungkook, it was extremely difficult for him to ignore your intense interest in Spiderman. His supersonic hearing would not allow him to do so anyway.

He wasn't really in the habit of getting into your private business. Despite his superhuman abilities, he had sworn to himself that he would never spy on you or use any of his newfound skills to ever insert himself in places of your life where he wasn't openly invited.

However ...

Okay, it's not like he meant to be so quiet when he came into your apartment. And it's not like you hadn't invited him beforehand. It was very likely that you wouldn't have minded him hearing the conversation you were currently having with your friend on the phone since it technically did not concern him, but he still couldn't help but feel guilty at being made privy of the details of it.

And the details were harsh to listen to — but not in a bad way.

His nails dug into the edge of the wall as he began making sense of what you were saying — of who you were talking about. His eyebrows furrowed, not sure if in annoyance or if in frustration. Your commentary simply had an unexpected effect on him.

"Oh my God, don't ask me that!," you giggled, scandalized at your phone, "I can't think of him that way, I like him too much. It feels almost disrespectful," you whispered the last bit, as if ashamed yet still giddy.

Without any context, the hopeless romantic side of Jungkook's brain might've allowed him to think you were talking about him. His bionic hearing could make out your friend's words on the other side of the phone perfectly, however, which proved to him that you were in fact speaking of someone else — kind of.

"What, you're talking about him all the time but you tell me you've never had any thoughts of fucking him?", your friend teased on the other aide of the call, causing you to whine in response.

"Of course I have!," you argued back, making Jungkook mentally wince at the thought, "Everyone and their mom knows I'm into him, of course it's not just some elementary school crush, dude. I want him," you put extra emphasis on your last statement.

"Tell me more," your friend pushed.

Jungkook could hear you shuffling in the sheets, likely kicking your feet around due to the giddy emotions thinking about your crush caused within you.

"There's nothing to tell ..." you murmured, avoidant.

"There is, c'mon! It's not like you can talk about this with Jungkook. He hates him," she reminded you, causing Jungkook to nod to himself from the other side of the wall.

"He doesn't hate him. I think he just finds my crush ... dumb," you responded. You were right. Well, kind of.

"Okay, I don't care about that. I wanna hear more about him. You said you were going to try and see him. Have you?", your friend continued to push.

This made Jungkook pause.

Would you actually go as far as to try and seek out Spiderman? How would you even find him?

"Well," you started, dragging out the vowel, "I caught a peak of him the other day — don't say anything!," you interrupted yourself, "Jungkook doesn't know, it just happened the other day. And he'll call me reckless or something."

"What'd you see?", your friend was clearly excited at the news, ecstatic to heat more. Jungkook was more so anxious to hear more. How had he not spotted you?

"I caught him in the middle of changing out of his suit ..." you whispered, as if someone could possibly be listening in — if only you knew.

"What?!," if your friend was excited, she was over the moon now.

"I saw him making his way through the city with his little webs and he stopped by near me. It was total luck, but I recognized the alley where he stopped and ran there," you recounted, "All I could see by the time I got there was a guy speed walking away from the alley while adjusting a black sweatshirt — it was obviously him! Even speed walking he was too fast for me," you finished with an intake of breath.

"So you're saying you saw his abs, basically," was all your friend responded.

"Stop!," you whined, "But yeah ... I might've gotten to see his happy trail ... He had a mask and beanie on, so I didn't catch his face at all," he could hear the pout on your face, "Not that I wanted to! I'd never wanna find him out without his permission. I just wanted to see him up close."

Jungkook believed this. He knew that you'd respect anyone's privacy, specially someone who you had grown certain affection for.

He was still shocked by this information, though. You'd spotted him? How had he not noticed you? And on top of it all, you'd almost caught him suit-less. A tiny, and frankly stupid, part of him felt a little cocky at knowing you'd seen him in action — at knowing you'd seen part of his body and liked it. His regular self was quite modest around you, not wanting to cross any boundaries nor cause you to feel liberal enough to walk around bare near his vicinity (his brain would just not he able to handle that). It was already hard enough for him to see you in those tiny little shorts and tank tops you'd wear to sleep during the summer. He hoped he had a similar effect on you, and knowing he somewhat had it made him feel like he was on top of the world.

And then your conversation continued.

"You should've followed him, you dumbass! Don't you wanna know where that happy trail leads?," your friend encouraged.

"As much as I'd love to get him in bed, I can't just stalk him! Iron Man's secret identity didn't last too long, we'll probably know who Spidey is within a few years and I'll be first in line to get to him," you giggled.

"What are you gonna do once you get to him?"

"Not to get nasty, but the first thing I'd do would be–"

That's when Jungkook stomped his feet and made his presence to you known, acting as if he'd just arrived. There was no way he'd be able to hear your thoughts and still be able to look you in the eye afterward.

"Y/N? You home?", he stealthily made his way back to the front door before calling out to you, surely interrupting your conversation.

"Shit, never mind, Kook's here. Gotta go," you said a quick goodbye to your friend before making your way to the living room and welcoming Jungkook.

"Kookie! I forgot you were coming," you walked over to him to give him a quick hug; your usual greeting.

"You should just assume I'm coming at any time," he mumbled into the hug, pulling away and immediately finding his rightful place on your couch, soon joined by you.

"So, what's new?", he turned to you with interest.

You cocked your head to the side in a questioning manner, "Nothing? You just saw me yesterday," you scoff.

"Nothing new with your spider boy?", he feigned disinterest.

"You never wanna hear about him. Why do you ask?"

"Maybe I want to be more supportive," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

From his peripheral he could tell you were looking at him with curiosity in your eyes, likely pondering about his change of heart. It took you a few seconds of silence before shrugging off his unusual interest and continuing the conversation.

"I might've spotted him the other day ...", now you were the one to mumble, looking down to avoid what you likely believed would be a judgmental reaction from him.

"R-really?", he scratched the back of his head, "Where? What'd you see?"

"Y'know, just him swinging around. Saw him heading home, I think. Then I lost track of him," you told him once you'd realized this wasn't some ruse to scold you for your interest again.

"What would you do if you actually met him someday?", he asked nonchalantly. Or at least as nonchalantly as he could manage while recalling the prior response he'd interrupted when you'd been talking to your friend.

Shrugging, you pressed your lips into a line as you pondered it for a bit, "I'd just tell him I'm his fan, I guess. I'd probably be too shy to even speak to him. It's like talking to your high school crush; you just avoid them as much as you can til it goes away," you chuckled to yourself.

He hummed, "Well, if the day ever comes, I think it'd be worth a try to talk to him. Maybe he'll like what he hears."

You nodded along, seemingly mulling over it inwardly, but saying nothing more regarding the matter. Jungkook joined you in dropping the subject, moving on to your usual movie night whilst also thinking over your sudden spotting of his masked self. It was odd to him how you'd somehow spotted him, but that was really the last thing on his mind. What concerned him the most was the sudden desire he felt to fulfill that need to see you while he was in his suit. He craved for you to return his feelings and there was a thoughtless side of him that wanted to get that reaction out of you, even if it meant you'd be reciprocating it to someone else.

Jungkook knew this was a stupid and reckless thing to do.

If Tony Stark were here in this moment, he'd probably take away the brand new suit he'd recently made for him. However, Jungkook was only 21, his hormones were still going crazy; crazy enough for him to make dumb and uncontrolled decisions just based off his feelings.

This was how he came to find himself pacing back and forth on the terrace of your apartment building whilst suited up. Muttering out loud to himself, he fought against himself as to whether or not he should go through with what had been bugging at him since speaking to you about your almost-encounter last week.

After mulling over it for a bit, he came to realize that there was no true harm to actually granting your wish of meeting Spiderman. He knew you to be a reasonable person (despite your claims of wanting to fuck Spiderman — who was a complete stranger to you) and felt reassured that you wouldn't put his identity at risk. On top of that, you had claimed that you probably wouldn't be able to even speak to him if you were to meet him.

The biggest issue was to come up with a reason as to why he'd be paying you a visit in particular. Maybe you were completely clueless as to your best friend's secret identity, but you weren't an idiot. His motives and identity would be immediately suspicious to you due to the strange nature of his apparition. Sure, he could hide his face and voice and even demeanor, but you'd be able to piece the pieces together too easily, anyone would.

Unluckily for him, this was not something he had to worry about for too long, as his plans did not go as smoothly as he had hoped. Just in between his nonsensical rambles to himself, there was an interruption orchestrated by you, with your sudden presence in the terrace throwing him completely off guard. Thank God he hadn't had a chance to take off his mask before you showed up.

"Oh my God," were your only words as you slowly made your way through the door leading to the terrace, choosing not to make your presence unknown.

"Shit," was his sole response, wincing from behind the mask.

"What- what are you doing here? Is it really you?", you asked, slowly making your way closer to his frozen self.

Attempting to switch over to his usual confident demeanor, Jungkook stood up straighter, hands on his hips as he waved over at you. The eyes displayed on his mask replicated his actual facial expression, squinting at you in a friendly manner as he tried to introduce himself in the least awkward way he could muster whilst deepening his voice in order to mask it.

"Hello! I- Yes, it's me! I- uh, was not expecting anyone to be here," he managed, walking over to you and giving you a handshake — something quite out of character for Spiderman, which he hoped you didn't pick up on.

Unfortunately, you did pick up on it, tilting your head to the side in curiosity before returning his handshake. From Jungkook's perspective, you seemed like a mixture of nerves, excitement and genuine curiosity. He couldn't blame you. Your idol/crush had suddenly showed up on the roof of your apartment and was nonchalantly trying to make acquaintances with you.

"I'm so sorry!," you suddenly chirped, letting go of his hand mid handshake, "I wasn't following you, I swear! I live downstairs and sometimes I come up here for air and I saw you and I thought it was you — and it is you! Wow, I- Fuck, hi. I'm Y/N, it's so nice to meet you," you rambled on and on, inflicting pain in Jungkook's heart at how adorable you were.

"Hi, again," he smiled under the mask, "It's fine, uh, this happens more than you may think," he lied, attempting to cover his tracks.

"Really? Do you get spotted a lot?", you wondered.

"It's not super rare, but it's usually while I'm on the run, not like, uh, like this. I was just resting for a bit," he went to casually lean against the railing next to him but pathetically slipping a bit and having to readjust his standing.

He cleared his throat, "So, I take it you're a fan?", he attempted to make conversation.

"I'm literally obsessed with you. I keep up with every article that comes out about you and any sighting of yours," you beamed before cringing to yourself, "Shit, I'm not playing it cool at all, am I?"

He couldn't help but chuckle, "No, you're good, trust me. Most people just scream and run away or ask me to do a backflip — which I can totally do, but it gets repetitive. Others attack me sometimes. It's rare to actually start conversation with me."

"Oh, so am I special, then?", you giggled, taking a few steps forward as you moved to lean on the railing next to him.

And just like that, you took the upper hand in the conversation. The mood shifted the moment you decided to start a flirtation with him, and Jungkook knew he was completely doomed.

Yes, you were absolutely special. Sure, he would occasionally interact with regular citizens of Queens, but he had never actually sought them out for conversation nor even entertained any fanatics of his. For you, however, he was willing to make an exception. God, he had been itching to do this from the moment he found out you had an infatuation with the superhero.

"Y- you- yeah," he cleared his throat, trying again, "You're the only person who hasn't alerted everyone around me of my presence," he regained his suave vibe by the end of the sentence.

"Why would I ever do that?", you pondered out loud, using a flirtatious tone Jungkook had never been on the receiving end of, "Then I wouldn't get to have you all for myself."

Were you closer? Had you moved closer in proximity? He could swear that the distance had lessened from just a few moments ago. This wasn't good, but it was also great.

"O-oh? That's ... Yes, hah, thank you for not exposing me," was all he managed to say. Fuck, his usual wit and ability to banter under the guise of being Spiderman seemingly dissipated when it came to interacting with you.

You giggled at him, likely taking note of how easy it was to fluster him. Jungkook knew you were aware of how attractive you were, also having the ability you turn up the charm whenever you so wished — except he had never dealt with it firsthand. It was both exhilarating and nerve wracking at the same time. He had truly not prepared for this.

"It's no problem," you smiled at him with a hint of something else in your eye, "Since you're such a good guy, y'know, maybe you'd like to return the favor?", you tilted your head at him, lifting your eyebrows suggestively.

"R-repay? How would you suggest?", he managed to regain some of his confidence, now leaning his body a bit more towards your own, smiling under his mask as he attempted to keep his heart rate normal.

"I'm sure you're super busy saving the world and all that, but maybe you'd like to visit again? No one ever comes up here, so it'd just be the two of us," you suggested, biting your lip in anticipation. Despite your confidence, Jungkook could still hear the rapid thumping of your heart — you were nervous about shooting your shot with a certain superhero; understandably so.

He decided to take advantage of the newfound realization that you might've been just as nervous as he was, clearing his throat and ensuring he didn't stutter this time around, "That'd be unfair, though, wouldn't it? To show you favoritism over all my other fans?", he said in flirtatious jest, hoping you caught on.

A pout far too enticing for Jungkook made its way to your lips, "But you just said I was special?", your hand went up to his chest, finger tracing the spider symbol on it.

"I never said that, you did," you couldn't see the teasing grin on his face, but it was there to stay.

"Oh?", you feigned offense, "So you don't think I'm special? Wow, now you really do owe me."

"You're right. Wouldn't want any unhappy citizens in Queens when I can help it," he agreed, taking hold of your wrist and tracing the back of it.

You smiled to yourself then, letting air out through your nose before looking back up at him, "I really do mean it. If you ever need a place to lay low, you can always come," you paused, "And ... If you ever want company, I'm just downstairs," you suggested.

Biting his lips from behind the mask, he nodded, letting go of your hand, "Yeah, I'll take that in mind," he checked his wrist despite there being no watch there, pulling a chuckle from you, "Unfortunately, I have to get back to patrolling now, but I'll see you around?", he asked as he climbed up the ledge of your building, ready to swing away.

"That's up to you, Spiderman," were the last words you said, though they were spoken with a confidence that told him you knew he'd be coming back.

Within just a month, Jungkook had lost count of the times he'd coincidentally found himself on your roof, always showing up at a similar time as that of your first encounter.

At first he played it off as a coincidence, cheekily claiming that he was just passing by and needed some rest. Other times, he'd show up due to legitimate exhaustion as he sought you out for comfort. It was very quick that you began a genuine friendship with one another, having an unspoken agreement of seeing each other there a few times a week late into the afternoon.

The flirtation was still present, but a friendship between you overtook that. This made Jungkook glad in a sense, as he knew he would've felt guilty if anything romantic ever came up without you knowing his real identity. He already felt badly about befriending you without your knowledge, but he felt like he was too late to back out now.

Today was yet another day in which he decided to show up, though this time a little later. Since you lived at the highest floor of your building, his mere presence on the roof was enough to alert you of his arrival, causing you to walk through the door leading to the staircase just moments later.

You were in your pajamas — just some small shorts and a tank top, but it was enough for his eyes to bug out of his head (figuratively, of course). Any time he'd stay over with you, you'd usually opt for a shirt long enough to cover halfway through your thighs, but since Jungkook wasn't present tonight it seemed like you'd chosen a tank top tight enough it'd give him the perfect view of your nipples peaking through the fabric. It bugged him to think you were doing this for Spiderman and not Jungkook, but he was too distracted by the sight of you to mind it too much.

"Hey," you greeted him as you headed his way, "A little late today, huh?"

"Yeah, uh, I was busy with a robbery," he explained, leaning against the veranda as you joined next to him.

"Oh? That sounds dangerous? Are you hurt? Maybe I should take a look?", your hand went up to his chest, pretending to check for injuries.

He laughed and you joined him, biting his lip under the mask, "You're even more dangerous than any bad guy out there, you know that?", he grabbed your wrist and took your hand off his chest, opting to shyly hold onto it instead.

"Me? I'm not the masked man showing up at an unsuspecting girl's apartment in the middle of the night," you teased, hand playing with his own.

"I thought I wouldn't be a stranger by now. We've been meeting for what, a month now? I'd say that's enough to get to know a person," he reasoned.

"Hmm," you pretended to mull over it, "Does that mean there's no chance you'll let me see what's under that mask?", you pouted at him.

This was not the first time you teased him about his secret identity, often bugging him (in a way far too entertaining for him to be actually bugged by it) to let you in on his secret. You swore up and down you'd never tell, offering up your pinky to intertwine with his. Jungkook liked you so much that there were various instances in which he had to catch himself before he ended up agreeing with your request.

"You know I can't do that, gorgeous," it was his turn to flirt. To be fair, as Spiderman, he did have a flirtatious streak to his personality. You weren't the only one on the receiving end of it, but you sure were the only one he meant it with. You also always giggled or blushed when he turned up the charm, which always instigated him into doing it more and more.

"But you said I was special," you reminded him with a smile, "And! We've been meeting for a while. Don't you wanna trust at least one person with your identity? Y'know, if something were to happen to you," even Jungkook could tell you were pulling your reasoning out of your ass, but he couldn't help but feel endeared by you.

Before he could fire back with an equally cheeky response, you interrupted him again, "How about you let me see you some other way?"

He cocked his head to the side with curiosity, unknowing of what you meant.

Hesitantly, your hand let go of his, now engulfing it with both of your hands. Your fingers traced his hands through his gloves, looking up at him for a moment to seek permission for what you were going to go next. Silently, he offered you a nod, allowing you to take off his gloves.

Jungkook couldn't help but feel slightly scared that you might recognize his hands, but finding no reaction in your eyes or heart rate (which he could hear perfectly any time he neared you), he felt calm. Your hands traced his own bare ones, eventually holding them in your own. The entirety of the interaction was soft and intimate in a way Jungkook had never experienced.

"Can I see more?", you asked after a while, voice almost a whisper.

"What- what would you like to see?", he whispered back, gulping at how close to you he suddenly felt.

Once more, your hand silently went up to touch him, but this time it reached his chest, laying flat against it before slowly finding the opening in the middle, allowing you to peek at a sliver of his bare chest. Without hesitation, Jungkook grabbed onto your hands on his chest and helped you open his body suit a little more, just enough to reveal his chest.

Your hands softly traced at a few cuts and bruises found there, pouting to yourself as you stared at the firm muscle under your hands. Silence engulfed you for a few moments as he enjoyed your affections.

"Well, this seems kinda unfair," he started with a quiet voice, "You're getting me naked, feeling me up. Making me feel like a piece of meat," he joked.

You stifled a chuckle, "Don't think I didn't notice you looking at my boobs when I got here, you perv. I'm just getting my payback," your hands went back to his hands, taking them in your own.

He gaped at you from under his mask, "I- I would never!", he rasped out, "The fact that you would even accuse me of that- I- I am appalled, Y/N Y/L/N," he gave you an exaggerated gasp.

"Okay, whatever," you rolled your eyes, "Can I keep going now?", you asked as you went back to tracing his suit with your hands, this time reaching up to his neck.

You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer as you stared up at him. He knew that all you could see was the comically large eyes featured on his mask, but he was still affected by the look on your face. Your mouth was agape and your eyes kept going down to where you knew his lips would be. Without being able to help himself, his hands wrapped around your waist, feeling the sliver of skin between your shorts and your tank top. In all your years of friendship, Jungkook had never been able to hold you like this. It was exhilarating.

There was no need for any words as your hands found his mask, lifting it up to uncover his lips and lay right below his nose. Jungkook knew he should've been more careful in letting anyone — even you — even make contact with his mask, but his eyes had been trained on your lips from the moment you got your hands on him. His mind was in another planet at the moment.

There was, again, no reaction from you that could've led Jungkook to believe you had recognized him. Was the shape of his lips not obvious enough? Were you too distracted to notice? It truly made no sense to him, but the proximity of your lips had him too distracted to think about it too much.

That was when the moment Jungkook had been waiting for for years finally came to fruition. Your lips made contact with his own, very tentative and shy in their movements. Mere seconds happened until he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss as he held you against him.

It was a bit awkward due to the obstacle the mask proved itself to be, but Jungkook didn't care. He was far too drunk in you to consider anything around him, specially when the kiss grew heated within moments. Pressing you up against the veranda, Jungkook let out all pent up need against tour mouth, hoping in the back of his mind that you wouldn't realize it was him you were kissing.

Sadly, it all ended before Jungkook could really lose himself in it. You pulled away with a giggle at the way his body insisted on following yours, attempting to trap you in another kiss. He couldn't help but chuckle back, still not letting go of you.

"Hmm, ever let any of your other fans go that far?", you hummed when he buried his face on the crook of your neck, pressing shy kisses on the bare skin.

"N-no, just you," he muttered, pulling back to readjust his suit, now covering himself back up.

"Boo," you complained once he was completely covered up again, crossing your arms petulantly, "What, time for you to go?"

"Sadly, yes. I'm a busy man, pretty. Need to get back out there to ensure pretty girls like you remain safe," he coo'd at you jokingly, pinching your nose adoringly before beginning to climb the veranda in order to leave.

"You know this isn't a one-time thing, right?", you called from below him.

"Oh, I'll make sure it's not, baby," he chuckled before saluting you as he jumped down, disappearing from your view almost immediately.

He arrived home soon after that, too giddy to even consider patrolling that night. The smile wouldn't leave his face, and his skin was covered in goosebumps. He felt like such a teenager at the excitement cruising through him, but the remnants of the feeling of your mouth on his simply wouldn't leave him.

He knew that sooner or later he'd have to tell you about who he was, but he wanted to enjoy your newfound relationship as much as he could. So far, you hadn't told him about your frequent encounters with Spiderman, which led him to believe you felt the same way. Clearly you wanted to keep him as your own little secret, which only made him the giddier about it all.

There were occasions in which Jungkook simply didn't plan things out to well. Today was one of those days.

Having no one aware of his identity proved to be more bothersome than he had first assumed. Sure, he could lie about his location to his friends and family with ease, keep any troubling encounters with criminals to himself, but it was the aftermath of these encounters that sometimes came to be too much for him to handle.

He had been reckless tonight, somehow miscalculating every single one of his moves when taking down a crew of armed robbers. He hadn't even meant to come across them nor fight them on his own (Tony Stark had warned him about this before), but it's not like he could've walked away without at least attempting to deal with the situation.

In the end, he was victorious, and his current state proved as much. It was not a simple fight, resulting in his suit getting mangled all over, with many of the injuries penetrating into his actual skin.

Battered and covered in bruises and scratches all over, Jungkook had no idea where to go. This was one of the first times in which Jungkook found himself limping and unknowing of how to patch himself up before the sun rose. His plan had been poor, which only reminded him what a stupid decision it was to try and handle the situation on his own rather than to leave it up to the police.

But his terrible planning skills did not stop there. They evolved into finding himself standing on the fire escape that led directly to your apartment. With his arms holding onto his sides to try and alleviate the pain, he reached out to knock on your window, hoping 2AM wasn't too late for you to come find him.

It was only moments when you showed up in your pajamas, a shocked yet worried look on your face as you opened up your fire escape entrance to him.

"Oh my God, what happened?", you asked whilst ushering him in, providing him with support so he could make it over to your room and lay on your bed.

"You should see the other guy," he rasped, coughing out.

"Stop! Fuck, how can I help you? What do you need?", you frantically went over to your restroom, returning with a makeshift first aid kit.

You sat next to him on the bed, helping him sit up so you could check out his injuries. His suit had multiple scratches that revealed slivers of his skin, but there was nothing you hadn't seen the previous time he had been over.

"It was just a robbery gone wrong. Nothing to worry about," he finally said, wincing when you began to open up his suit to better check his injuries. Your hands immediately went to try and take care of the cuts on his stomach, moving anything out of the way in order to reach them.

"You idiot," you muttered, "This is gonna hurt, okay? Just breathe deep," you warned before moving on to dab on his injuries with some ointment. Hissing at the burn, his stomach hardened, causing him to recoil a bit.

"Jungkook, be still," you hissed back at him, scoffing when he suddenly stilled at the mention of his name.

"W-what? What did you just say?",

You paid him no mind, still putting all your focus in his injuries, "Do you think I'm dumb, Jungkook? You show up to hang out with me and let me feel you up and you think I won't recognize you? You really are an idiot," you chuckled by the end.

"You- you knew?! This whole time?", he gaped at you, throwing off his mask as he groaned at the way you blatantly laughed at his shock, "God, you suck."

"C'mon, Jungkook. You're a horrible liar. And I'm your best friend, you can't hide anything from me."

"Whatever," he huffs, followed by a wince from your manhandling of his injuries, "You could've told me," he muttered petulantly.

You finally looked back at him, with a stern look in your eyes Jungkook only ever saw whenever you were about to tell him off, "Oh, like you told me? Dude, you were more than fine pretending not to know me," you jabbed at him, "Dickhead," you muttered once you were done.

It was his time to chuckle, jabbing at your leg with his own and smirking when you pushed back.

"So, is this you admitting you've wanted to fuck me all this years?"

You scoffed, "Me? I wanted to fuck Spiderman. Not my fault it turned out to be you," you argued as you wrapped some bandages on the cuts found alonh his torso, "You're the one who came after me cause you wanted to fuck me."

"Okay, fine," he relented, patting at the wraps you'd just secured on him, "What's the verdict now? Still want to fuck me?", he leaned in with a smirk, smirk growing even bigger at your playful scowl.

"Shut up and come here," you practically growled at him, pulling him to you by his shoulders and catching him in a kiss.

It was almost effortless the way in which Jungkook pushed you back on the bed, easily climbing on top of you as he kissed you. His hand was on your back as he lowered your body to lay flat on the bed, ignoring any injury he may have had. Everything left his mind as he kissed you — the burglary, the secret he thought he had been keeping from you, the relief you now knew; everything.

"Kook," you sighed when his lips reached the length of your neck, softly nibbling at your skin every so often.

"You're so bad," he murmured, "Lying to me this whole time ... Making me look like an idiot while I tried to keep my secret from you," he reprimanded with a love bite.

"You're the idiot who- oh," your complaint was interrupted by the sudden presence of his hands on your breasts, feeling at your nipples through the thin barrier of your tank top.

"Shh, baby. You may have had the upper hand all these years, but now I'm in charge," he shushed you, "Never looked my way, but kept tryna get in my pants as Spidey? Bad, bad girl," he murmured as his lips came closer and closer to your chest, eventually reaching your nipples and wrapping his mouth around the clothed skin, engulfing the cloth with his saliva as he abused your nipple with his teeth.

You writhed under him, both frustrated at the barrier and affected by the stimulation, "Hmm, and you're good at dealing with the bad guys, right, Kookie?", you murmured, already delirious with his touch.

In the meantime, his hands went up to your breasts, lifting up the shirt and smoothly managing to throw it off before his hands went right back to playing with your tits.

"Oh, yeah. Gonna take care of you, baby. Gonna fuck all the bad out of you," he sighed at the sight of your nude torso, hips unable to help themselves in beginning to grind against you.

He trapped you under him, using you for his own pleasure. However, if your moans were anything to go by, he had a great idea of his current effect on you. Holding you down, he kissed you up and down, going from your breasts to your lips all while his hips danced with your own. At some point his hands snuck down to help you pull off your shorts and panties low enough to give him access to you. By now, you were basically completely nude while he remained in his scratched up suit. Seemed unfair, but it worked for Jungkook.

With curious hands, he reached down to your bare cunt, beginning to finger his way to your clit. His thumb found it with a swiftness you could only expect from a man like Jungkook. Synchronizing his hand and hips, he ground down on you while thumbing at the puffy pearl between your legs.

"Right there, huh?", he murmured at your increasingly high-pitched sighs, "That's where you need it, huh, baby?"

Warm eyes stared down at yours, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked you all the way to your peak. Not a single part of him was occupied with anything but you — his lips tended to your own, his hand to your clit, his hips to your cunt, he was consumed by you whilst consuming you himself.

All his senses were heightened. His superhuman hearing allowed him to take in every noise of wetness coming south and every cry coming north. He could smell you perfectly, which only added to the delirious feeling you always provoked in him.

"I- Kookie, I'm gonna cum ... Keep going, I'm almost there, fuck," you cried as his movements sped up. Unbeknownst to you, he let out a sigh of relief at realizing your orgasm would come before his own. He was bursting inside his suit, almost ready to pounce you.

"Yeah? Cum for me, pretty. Need you to cum for me, okay? Promise I'll ... I'll fuck the bad out of you right after," he swore, lips finding their way to your ear as he whispered words of encouragement to you.

With a desperate nod, you continued to cry out his name, hands finding his bicep for support as you let yourself go. Jungkook took in every sound, every move, every single reaction coming from you. He memorized every bit of your orgasm and let himself be ruined by it.

Upon the crescendo of your orgasm, wet sounds filled up the room once more as his lips made their rightful way to yours once again. He sighed praise into your lips, calling you his good girl and his dream, claiming you to be the greatest reward he could ever receive.

"Thought I was bad, Kook? What happened to that?", you teased him, beginning to slowly rip off his suit in order to get him equally as nude as yourself.

"Baby, shut up. Just let me fuck you," he scolded, annoyed your words were interrupting his kisses.

"Hmm, do superheroes need condoms, or are you going in raw?", you asked so casually it made Jungkook's grip on you tighten involuntarily.

"Don't talk like that, fuck, I'll cum," he winced before backtracking with wide eyes, "Shit, wait. You'd let me do it raw?", he gaped at you, interrupting the kiss.

You laughed at him, giving him a single peck, "Course, Kook. Trust you more than anyone," you said, sharing the first moment of pure softness of the night.

Jungkook loved how easy it was for you to share friendly banter and bug at each other even under this context, but he couldn't lie when he said he adored those moments of unadulterated adoration you'd share any time you looked up at him while he was Spiderman. This was reminiscent of those moments, but so much better — especially being now aware that every single one of those looks had been directed at Jungkook, not Spiderman.

"Yeah?," he smiled at you, intertwining your fingers above your head, "Trust you too, beautiful," he let go of one of your hands to line himself up, groaning as he traced his tip up and down your folds before finally entering you.

"God, Kook," you sighed, arching your back at the feeling.

"I know, fuck," he matched your tone, burying his face in your neck while he gave you some time to get used to him, "Let me know when I can move, okay, baby? Feel so fucking good already."

You nodded wordlessly, using your free hand to dig your nails on the skin of his back. After about a minute you gave him the green light to move, dragging your nails down his back when he began to thrust, slowly building up his speed snd intensity.

"That feel good, pretty?", he murmured into your ear.

"Mhm!", you practically whined, attempting to move your hips to his rhythm, "D-don't stop."

Unburying himself from the crook of your neck, his hands went to your face to make you look into his eyes. He looked at you silently for a few moments with softness in his eyes, proceeding to locking your lips in a kiss as he continued to fuck into you. It was all very intense yet it carried an air of intimacy Jungkook knew he would never be able to replicate.

"Tell me you're almost there, shit. 'm gonna cum soon, pretty," he warned, thrusts accelerating in both speed and intensity.

"Yes! Almost there, just- keep going," you whined, hands reaching his hips to further encourage his movements. Wrapping your legs tighter around him, your body took control and did its best to follow his movements, making Jungkook's orgasm even more imminent.

"Think I can count you down?" he grumbled, eyebrows furrowed and demonstrating the amount of restraint in him at the moment.

"Yes, c-count me down," you nodded aggressively.

"Kay, pretty. Cum with me, yeah? In three," his hand went to toy at your clit once more, making you hiss in pleasure, "two ..." his hips readjusted to hit at that one spongey spot he'd been ramming at, but now harder, "one," he groaned the last word, almost falling limp against you as his movements stilled.

He could feel himself emptying inside you, kissing at your skin endlessly at how intimate the act felt. Meanwhile, you mewled nonstop under him, not helping his situation at all. He felt as if life halted for a moment, with everything aligning perfectly as he enjoyed both his and your orgasm.

"God ... Fuck, I can't believe it took us this long to do that," he sighed when it was all said and done.

You pushed at him, making him remove his weight off you and lay beside you, staring up at the ceiling just like you, "You're the dumbass who wouldn't tell me you liked me," you huffed.

"Well, if I'm that much of a dumbass, why did you never tell me you knew who I was- Which, by the way! How long have you known?", he was still fairly breathless, but entirely too curious.

You took a pause to laugh at him for a moment, only stopping when he gave you a menacing stare, "Since the first day you came to see me," you started, "You moved and talked just like Jungkook, and it made no sense for you to come see me out of all people," you revealed.

His body turned to its side, arm reaching out to make you cuddle against him, "Why didn't you say anything?", he pouted.

"I don't know," you shrugged, "Wanted you to tell me about your identity on your own. Not my fault you're too dumb," you murmured that last part."

"Okay, whatever. You're my Spidey girlfriend now anyway, so it doesn't matter anymore," he huffed.

"Oh? I don't recall anyone asking me to be their 'Spidey girlfriend,' do you?"

"Fine," he groaned, "Give me ten minutes and I'll give you a full-on confession of love, okay?"

"Can't wait," you laughed.

to read short 1.3k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: smut, afab reader, dry humping, teasing, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 212 (teaser); 1308 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"You're the vain of my existence, you know that, right?", you groaned at Jungkook's sudden presence on your fire escape.

"Is that how you talk to your boyfriend? I spend all day fighting evil and come back to nothing but disrespect," he complained jokingly, making his way into your room as if he owned the place.

"Boyfriend? Last I remember, I'm dating Spiderman, not Jeon Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook never asked me out," you trailed behind him, guiding him to take a seat in your couch.

"That joke's getting so old," he boo'd at you, "Plus, I literally have the suit on. Should I put on the mask? Is my face that ugly?" he continued his complaints, taking a seat on your couch and pulling you towards him, his inhuman strength managing to get you straddling him with minimal effort.

"No," you coo'd, "I like Jungkook's face just fine," your hands went to play with his hair, kissing at his cheek softly, "So, who were the bad guys today? Robbers? Bullies?"

"Nothing much today, just some guy stealing a bike and then a lost cat," he mumbled, "Still spent most of the day patrolling, though," he said as he buried his face in your chest, allowing you complete access to playing with his hair.

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

[kekaki-cupcakes]

Heyyy can you please write something for Nico x male reader where Nico has seen reader around camp and reader is friendly and always laughing and talking with everyone. And Nico develops a crush on reader and eventually he decides to confess to reader when he sees them in the woods. Fluffy mainly but like a little spicey at the end if u do that stuff? :)

hey there bestie, let's pretend it hasn't been two months. this fic is also for @golden-boy-muda 's request for nico x transmasc reader <3

I couldn't find an idea in my empty ol head for this request but then I was looking for old oil painting wallpapers for my phone and now you have this incredibly sappy 3.2k of art references [I advise you keep another tab open for cross-referencing if you want the fUlL eXpErIeNcE]

Oil on Canvas--- Nico di Angelo x transmasc reader [3.2k] »»————-　★　————-««

Nico definitely isn’t a stalker, he understands boundaries [once Jason explains them to him, of course], but he might have a bit of a staring problem. 

Sometimes he’s just eating gluten free waffles with Hazel in the dining pavilion and ends up watching you shove your siblings around and plait your little sister's hair so it doesn’t get in her face when she goes Pegasus riding.

He spooned some blueberries onto his plate. 

It’s not his fault.

It’s yours, if anything. What is he supposed to do apart from feel like there’s moths beneath his ribcage when you pose, your nose scrunched, up for photos with Drew’s polaroid camera that’s covered with inappropriate stickers? 

Hazel elbowed him meaningfully in the side when he couldn’t help but grin because Holy Hades, a single person shouldn’t be able to look that much like the painting Ophelia [by friedrich heyser, to be specific], just because they wore a green camp shirt and a pearl necklace. 

Maybe it was his fault that he was comparing you to beautiful paintings. 

He scooped the blueberries onto his half eaten waffle and reached for the maple syrup Hazel had finished drowning her breakfast in. 

The Stoll brother’s mortal mum had sent a stack of paintings from art galleries all over the world last Christmas, and they’d let him pick out a few of the older more poetic ones that didn’t have enough blood and guts for their taste. 

Now the oil paintings of lakes and birds and crying angels and… mainly cats, actually, hung around the dark walled Cabin he slept in. 

Your laugh when you threw strawberries at Kayla and Austin while they worked in the infirmary reminded him of Angel [carl von marr, of course] and he felt like Chat a difficult catch [charles van den eycken] when you walked right past him without even glancing back.

So he’d made peace with watching from afar how you would forget daily to put sunscreen on but somehow always remembered to wear this pair of white crocheted gloves that looked like cat paws. 

On a completely irrelevant note, Nico was learning to crochet. 

Hazel made eye contact with him again when he looked from you to her, and he plugged his ears and glared before she started kicking him in the shins and begging him to pluck up the courage to walk over and even just make eye contact. 

Not that he didn’t want to. 

He may have lined up in his catalog of daydreams, this scenario where you both went down to the beach. Any beach, really. You’d collect shells and eat popcorn and grapes and lemonade and squish sand between your toes and pick up crabs with him. 

PROMENADE ON THE BEACH [Charles Atamian, obviously].

There was another scenario where he’d take you to the farmers market. It had the biggest bouquets of flowers, and rows upon rows of fruits and vegetables and incense and beaded jewelry. 

When he was laying in bed underneath the fluffy zebra patterned duvets that Piper forced him to use, mainly because they matched the dark reds of the cushions and browns of the bookshelves and antique lamps in the cabin so well, you were walking down the rows of little stores with him.

You were holding his hand with those soft cat paw gloves and you liked the feel of his rings [he’d read that people liked rings in a book, somewhere] and you’d filled the Studio Ghibli tote bag you had with berries. 

He’d watched most of the movies after he saw your bag. He liked Arriety the best. 

Clarisse stomped past the Hades table, leaving bloody footprints no one asked about, and smacked him in the back of his head. Nico went back to eating his waffles and daydreaming about your smile. 

In the farmers market you would sniff candles and never buy them because Hazel had far too many for all of her spells and the such that he would never run out. And what was Hazel’s was his and what was his was hers, meaning that what was Hazel’s was yours. 

Because Nico would give everything he owned, even his favorite jacket, for you to look his way. 

And he would buy you flowers, whichever were your favorite. 

Maybe the ones from the painting Hazel forced him to take because ‘you can’t just not hang a painting that literally is you, Neeks’. 

Italian Girl with Flowers. Joaquin Sorolla. 1886. 

He didn’t see the resemblance.

But it didn’t really matter, because he’d get to watch you looking at all the cool things for sale and then he’d take you to the best gelato he’d found so far [he was making a list] or just use the shadows, and take you to a proper gelato shop. Whatever you wanted to do, really.

Nico blinked. He huffed, mainly at himself, and stabbed his waffle. It fell apart on the fork.

“Why’re you angry?”

He looked up from his plate, to Hazel. She was sitting opposite him with a mustache made of orange juice. “...I’m not.”

“You’re not supposed to be pushing down your emotions, remember?” she said sternly, and started picking the green bits off a strawberry. She was eating as many berries as she could, since she wasn’t allowed lollies anymore. The perks of braces. 

Nico looked away. “I’m fine.”

“You’re thinking about the cat glove girl, aren’t you?” she asked with a smirk.

“Cat glove boy, remember?” he muttered, and took a bite of his waffle, wiping squished blueberries off his chin.

Hazel’s golden eyes widened, “Oh yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” he said, and was grateful for the excuse to peek your way. You were eating toast. Very pretty-ily. He felt his face heat up.

Hazel perked up, a mischievous grin he didn’t appreciate on her face. “Okay! I’ll go apologize to your boyfriend then-”

Nico stared at her. Why was she like this? She actually went to stand up, and then he yanked her sleeve, pulling her back down to the table. “No! Don’t just… you can’t… stop!”

“You didn’t deny that he’s your boyfriend,” Jason chuckled, sitting down next to Hazel. 

“I hate you all,” Nico said. 

It was torture. 

He felt like Sleepy time potion [Vanessa Stockhard], stuck in the middle of your loveliness, unable to do anything except stare and hope that his face wasn’t too as red as the mushroom he was sitting on. 

In the painting. 

Not in real life. 

Obviously. 

»»————-　★　————-««

Nico stared down at the hat in his lap.

He’d done it. He’d actually finished one of the hundreds of projects he’d started in Piper’s efforts to find him a hobby that wasn’t sitting on the fences of cemeteries or standing in line at Mcdonalds. 

He had lots of other hobbies, he just… couldn’t come up with them when she was arguing with him. 

So they’d gone through writing, painting, records, sleeping, which he excelled in, and then crocheting. None had lasted very long, but he may have had an idea half way through trying to stab Piper with the crocheting stick.

And now he had a white bucket hat with cat ears.

He threw it to the end of his bed, and hid underneath his duvet. Fuck. 

Repose. Malcolm Liepke. 1953. 

What on Olympus was he supposed to do about the way he wanted to hold you so badly he felt like throwing up and tearing his hair out?

He lay underneath in the pocket of stuffy darkness for a moment, before sitting up, untangling his blankets and teddies from him, and then standing. He may have just had the greatest idea anyone had ever thought of before.

Hazel was still in the shower, singing, most likely, so he grabbed his jacket from the coat rack that was actually just a skeleton, and then stomped out of his cabin, the stupid hat in his fist.

His heart was beating wildly. Stupid heart. 

The Wedding Dress. Fred Ellwell. 1911.

He rubbed his face and groaned at the sky. The stars were just peeking out, but it was still pink and yellow, and the sun hadn’t dipped yet. It was hidden by the trees he was trudging through, though. 

Fuck.

His chest was hurting. 

Nico scrunched up the stupid perfect crocheted hat that just had to stupidly perfectly match your stupid perfect cat gloves because Nico was stupidly perfectly obsessed with you. 

You, who was stupidly perfect.

Fuck. 

Psyche Weeping. Kinuko Y Craft. 1995.

He trod on twigs that broke underneath his boots and weaved through the tree’s that slowly became more and more laden with hanging pendants and wind chimes and ruins carved into the bark.

He stepped over a thin stream. A frog croaked at him like it was dying. As if it could ever feel like it was dying. As if it could ever fall in love.

Nico groaned at the sky again. 

“Just let it all out.”

He turned, and glared. “Do you mind?”

“Yes, actually,” Lou Ellen said, raising a purple eyebrow. It matched the undersides of her curly hair. She pointed to the cabin concealed in shadows and moss and stones behind her. “This is my house. And you are yelling very loudly.”

“I’m not yelling,” Nico argued. “I’m groaning.”

She stared at him for a second. She rolled her eyes. “Just come in, what do you need?”

“I need a spell. Or a charm. Or hex,” Nico said, following her through the wooden double doors. A wind chime tinkled even though the air was still. There were a few bunks lined up against the wall to one side. “Or a magic thing. I don’t care which one.” 

The rest of the cabin was filled with small coffin shaped pet beds and empty pink soda cans and voodoo dolls hanging from the roof and rugs with cats wearing strawberry hats on the fluffy material and misty crystal balls. 

Lou Ellen lent back on a desk stacked high with papers and paperweights that were actually jars filled with things. “Okay. I have three rules. I don’t kill people, and I don’t make people fall in love.”

“...And?”

“I’ll break both if it’ll be fun?”

Nico frowned. “No. Aren’t you supposed to say you won’t bring people back from the dead? That’s always the third rule.”

She squinted at him. “Uh…no. I send those people to you.” 

Nico squinted back at her, sticking his tongue out. He fiddled with the stupid perfect hat and looked around. There was just more creepy things and stuffed animals. “Whatever. I need your help.”

“With what?”

“I need you to… like,” Nico started. He sighed. He looked away. 

This was awful. 

He was not about to admit that he might be in love, even if it was to reverse the feelings in the first place with whatever heart ripping out brain altering magic was necessary. 

The Apollo cabin would find out through the witch in less than thirty seconds. He would never live it down. 

Nico groaned again. “Oh for fucks sake, do you need me to fic your voicebox or something?” Lou Ellen hissed. 

Nico glared at her. He groaned again, and then whirled around and stomped out of the weird mossy mushroom cabin. “Nevermind!”

“Fine! Have it your way!...weird little emo.”

Nico glared at the frog croaking at him, and kept walking through the forest. 

He followed the little stream through the woods until he could hear wind chimes or Taylor Swift’s latest album anymore. 

The little stream widened into a proper stream, filled with a lot more frogs. Why were there so many frogs? He nearly stood on a green one leaping across the path. Stupid frog.

Nico stuffed his hands into his pockets, along with the hat. He was tempted to just toss it into the river. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with all of the silly feelings that felt like the biggest things in the world to him and his silly head full of thoughts about your lips.

Maybe the frogs could use the hat as a home.

“Here froggie… Come here… I said, come here... No I am not taking a tone with you!” 

Nico froze. 

Fuck. He took a deep breath, probably too loudly. He glanced to the side. 

Of course you were catching frogs, knee deep in a river.

You looked over, making eye contact, and Nico realized the moths underneath his ribcage were turning into bats. You squinted at him, hands on your hips, while water swirled around and leaves drifted from the trees above. A bucket was wedged between two rocks next to you.

A frog jumped out of it and landed near your leg, on a lillypad. 

“Look Albert,” you said, turning to the frog. “It’s a little Victorian ghost.”

“...I’m Italian,” Nico said quietly. He stared at you. He couldn’t help it. Wow. Fuck. Leo was right. He really was pathetic. “And I’m not a ghost.”

“Okay, Victorian ghost.” 

Nico stared at you. Fuck.

After that exchange, he should be able to hate you. Right? Right. He now resented you, and the moths turned bats would stop clawing at his chest and he would go back to having a normal life. 

Right?

Wrong.

You squinted at Nico, and then slowly turned to Albert. “I think the cute Victorian ghost is having a stroke.”

Nico blinked once, gulped, and then marched forward through the cold water and frogs, his shoes squelching loudly. Gods. This was so embarrassing. But you thought he was cute, even if you also thought he was a dead english boy, so he would be content with dying from embarrassment. 

He shoved the stupid perfect hat into your stupid perfect hands.

And then left in about 0.3 seconds. 

»»————-　★　————-««

You stared down at your pancakes. Why were they so gray looking? Had someone poisoned them? You figured that it would be a pretty good way to die, and tipped extra maple syrup onto them before you dug in. 

To counterbalance the poison, of course.

You scratched at the mosquito bite underneath the strap of your binder. It had flowers embroidered into it. Your binder. Not the mosquito bite.

One of your siblings across from you kicked at your shin, probably on purpose, but you continued to eat your odd tasting pancakes and picked blueberry grit off your white cat paw gloves. They were your favorite gloves. 

They also matched your new hat. The new hat that the cute Victorian but actually Italian ghost boy had given you before he teleported away with whatever dark magic he had stored in all that goth-ness.

You tossed a blueberry at Clarisse when she walked past and tried to bash you over the head. 

She wasn’t allowed to ruin your new hat.

You turned to see her flicking the blueberry over at someone else, and your eyes flicked past that too. Now way. You stood up, but you’d lost sight of the mess of dark hair when the Hermes cabin barrelled past.

You clambered onto your seat and stood up there. “Oi! Victorian ghost hat boy!”

The dining pavilion went quiet pretty quickly, and everyone turned to the cute guy with a skeleton hoodie and wide eyes. He pointed at himself when you pointed at him, and then went pink. 

Clarisse stuck her arm out so you didn’t faceplant when you jumped down from your seat, and you held onto your new hat as you traipsed across the cracked floor. 

You’d never figured out how that crack had got there. But there were bigger mysteries. 

Like this cute goth. 

His face just pinker when you grabbed his sleeve and tried to tug him out of the entire camp’s curious eyes. A dark skinned girl with a lot of butterfly clips and a Steven Universe t-shirt sent a thumbs up in your direction. 

It was only when you were standing by the low burning fire pit in a patch of daisies did you realize you hadn’t really planned far enough ahead. 

You took off the cat-ear hat and looked down at it. “...Uhm…”

“Sorry,” the goth said quickly, and when you made eye contact he looked away even quicker. “It’s creepy. Boundaries and stuff, I just… saw your gloves.” 

“It’s not creepy,” you argued, putting the hat back on with a grin. He was really cute when he blushed. “I mean, I don’t even know your name, and I have no idea who you are but your eyeliner is really really great and… Holy Hades if you smile like that again can I… please kiss you?”

The goth with no name stared at you, and then nodded about ten times too many. “Yes please. But, uh.. If you’re gonna kiss me, please, maybe don’t get my dad involved.”

“...Wut?”

»»————-　★　————-««

Nico could feel his cheeks growing hotter.

Not because of the sun, specifically, but it was hot and bright in the woods. He’d worn sunscreen though. And forced you to put it on too, once he’d found watermelon scented sunscreen, because you refused to smell gross no matter how sunburnt you would get anyways. 

His face was hot and red because of you. 

You, who was stupidly perfect and also possibly kind of Nico’s stupidly perfect boyfriend. 

“Psst, Victorian ghost boy,” you said with a sing-song voice, quietly, and waved your hand in front of his eyes with your pink, blue, and white painted nails. He blinked. You smiled. “You zoned out again.”

“Sorry,” Nico said, and pulled a daisy out of the ground. He handed it over. “I was thinking about you.”

He hadn’t realized the effect that saying that would have on you, but it was worth it when you opened and closed your mouth like one of the frogs you kept as pets. 

“I.. well, what were you thinking about?”

Nico had played his cards right. He smirked, and you shuffled forwards on the checked picnic blanket Piper had stolen from Drew, who’d probably nicked it from poor unsuspecting Demeter or Iris kid. You knocked over the basket of strawberries too, and then took your bucket hat off and stuffed it in your lap with a grin.

He tilted his head down. You were both following a very well rehearsed script. “...Kissing you?”

You launched yourself forwards then with a laugh, your cat-paw gloved hands landing on either side of his waist and probably squishing some of those strawberries at the same time. 

The sun reflected in your eyes and Nico held the sides of your face as he pressed his lips to yours. 

You kissed back, and once you both stopped smiling widely, you could kiss back. 

Properly. 

He scratched his fingernails, the ones you’d painted rainbow that afternoon after catching more frogs and complaining about sunscreen, along your jaw when you bit down on his bottom lip.

Not as a complaint, certainly not, and you knew that too because you just sat back on your knees between Nico’s lap and tilted your head to fit deeper against Nico’s bruised lips. 

The ones that hadn’t had a single day off since you jumped up in the middle of breakfast with your gluten free waffles you hadn’t realized were gluten free until he had explained it to you later. 

It was intensely crazily unbearably romantic but it also meant whatever cold one of you managed to catch, the other would come down with only minutes later. 

And Nico felt like that smug little cat from Julie Manet’s Auguste Renoir.  

»»————-　★　————-««

[takerfoxx]

Okay.

I don't often gush about movies on this blog. Hell, I don't often go to the movies anymore. I just don't have the attention span for it. And I honestly was going to give this one a miss until someone who's opinion I trust was adamant that I needed to see this film right now on the biggest screen possible while I still had the chance. So, FOMO out won over, and I went to go see Godzilla Minus One in Imax.

...

Look, I've been a Godzilla fan practically all my life. My family used to rent those old english dubs of the films on VHS from Blockbuster in the early nineties. I grew up with these monsters. But I have to admit, I've never seen the original, nor have I seen Shin Godzilla. To me, Godzilla is about one thing and one thing only.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Gimme the big monsters just going HAM on each other. Rubber suits, CGI, I don't care! I want the big boys with beef to beef with a large side of cheese!

I guess that's why Godzilla 2014 ultimately left me feeling kind of cold while I absolutely loved KOTM despite how stupid a lot of it was. I just want my big monsters absolutely wrecking shit.

This was different. I knew it was going to be different. A remake of the original Godzilla, this time from the viewpoint of the common citizens still trying to get their lives together after WW2? I knew I was in for some heavy drama.

What I didn't expect was one of the most amazing theater experience I have ever had.

And I'm not just saying that because the movie is good, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because the movie is great, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because it's a goddamn masterpiece, even though it is.

I'm saying that because it's about as close to perfect of a film as you can get, and not just of a Godzilla movie, but just as a movie!

Like, it's a running joke that you can cut the human characters out of any Godzilla movie. Here, you could cut Godzilla out and still have a great movie. That's how good the human side of things was.

Like, you really grow attached to these people who have literally lost everything. You grow invested in their struggles, in their relationships, in their baggage, in their love for one another. You come to care about them and are genuinely happy as they eke out a new life after having their homes literally blown to bits. You just want to see them succeed and be happy together.

And that's when Godzilla shows up.

This movie is called Godzilla Minus One in reference to how post-war Japan was basically a Zero Society, left devastated by the conflict. And these people who literally were left with nothing suddenly find even that ripped away as an enormous monster just starts rampaging through the recovering cities.

And this time, Godzilla isn't an avenging hero. He's not a destructive anti-hero. He's not a fun mascot. He's not even a poor, suffering monster unaware of the destruction that he's wreaking. This Godzilla is goddamn menace, an outright monster that is absolutely terrifying. He wants to crush, kill, and destroy. This is Godzilla at his most actively malicious, and all you can do is gape up in horror with these people that you've come to care so much about, wondering how in the hell are they supposed to deal with this!

I won't give away how the day is eventually saved, only to say that it is a masterclass of character-driven suspense and emotion. You honestly come to root for the humans for once. You want to see them succeed, and are genuinely in fear for their lives. No exaggeration, I had my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes all throughout the climax. I don't cry during movies, and this movie made me sob like a baby. It was that good.

And it also had so much to say! Not only about Japan's collective trauma following the nuclear bombs or the other bombing raids like the original, but also about how the Japanese government dehumanized its own people during the war, treating them as expendable resources to fuel the war machine. The main character is a freaking kamikaze pilot who lost his nerve and abandoned his mission, and that plus another act of what he saw as cowardice haunts him throughout the movie, and while it realistically shows how such a person would be treated like a pariah by his former friends and neighbors, it is nothing but sympathetic toward him. He blames himself constantly, but the narrative never seems to.

And there's just this wonderful moment near the end, when it's clear that the government isn't coming to the rescue, so it's up to the common man to band together and find a solution, when a few men leave the mission for fear of their lives and that of their families, and are not condemned for it. And the scientist spearheading the whole thing gives this lovely little speech about how carelessly life has been treated during the war, from the kamikazes to the poorly maintained supply chains to how the common folk were left to fend for themselves, and he hopes to just once be able to secure a win that doesn't sacrifice any more lives. Wow.

I know it's probably too late for anyone else to see it, because I'm pretty sure it's theatrical run ends today. I just wanted to get this review off my chest, because wow, this was the best movie I've seen all year. What a goddamn masterpiece.

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Next Page

CW: SaHyo, fluff

A/N: it’s a bit late and shorter than I wanted it to be but I’ve been a bit busy. Happy birthday @frenchyypoo hope you like it

The cameras flashed as the Park Jihyo walked up to the stand, all eyes on her as she made her welcome speech and signed her contract for her new club. She had done it. Officially become a player for her dream team. The last year had been her breakthrough one, she went from just an academy player to quickly being signed by a decent team, being called up for her country and then being signed by one of the best clubs around which also was her dream team all within the past 12 months. As she was answering questions by the media, her thoughts couldn’t help but drift back a day to when she was doing her medical check up….

Jihyo entered the doctor’s room somewhat nervously. There was no real reason for her to be nervous, she was a top level athlete but alas medical check ups tended to cause this. She sat on the bed, tapping her feet anxiously. A minute later she heard footsteps and Jihyo straightened up. The door opened and the doctor entered, Jihyo nearly gasped out loud. The doctor was absolutely beautiful and for some reason quite familiar. Sipping her drink, Dr Sana entered the room with her little checklist. Upon seeing Jihyo already there, she smiled sweetly, the straw still in her mouth.

“Ahem, hi”, Jihyo said trying to compose herself but it was not working. She felt her cheeks flush and her heart pound.

“Hi!”, Sana replied cheerfully, putting her checklist on the table and sitting on it, crossing her legs. “Shall we begin?”

“Y-yeah…”, Jihyo replied looking away.

Sana began the medical and it lasted for 30 minutes but it felt like an eternity and at the same time only a few seconds to Jihyo.

“Oh, you still have this scar on your shin?”, Sana noted, rubbing her thumb on it.

“Yea-wait? How do you know about this?”, Jihyo asked, curious now because she got that scar a long time ago, back when she was still in the academy…

Sana smiles sadly, “I was there with you when you got that. You don’t remember me?”

Jihyo’s mind races back to those days, her mind going through all the people she knew back then. No one she thought of seemed to be like Sana…

“I was the one with the cap and tied hair”, Sana confessed somewhat shyly and nonchalantly.

Jihyo nearly falls off the bed, unable to believe her ears, “You what???? Sana!”, she stares at Sana, looking at the tag on her shirt to confirm. Jihyo remembered that girl really well. She wasn’t part of the players who were in the academy with her. But that girl was always in the crowd at the very front, watching quietly with her cap. Overtime Jihyo had become quite curious about her and once tried to give her a spare shirt as a gift but the girl had refused saying, “one day when you join your dream club then I’ll take it.”

“But you might not like that team”, Jihyo tried to convince her.

“It’s not about that. I like you”, she would say.

Jihyo was never sure if she meant that in a flirting manner or not. But she had a special bond with her, always talking with her before and after the games for some months. She didn’t realize it back then but she had developed a crush on her and only after leaving did she realize how big of a crush it was. It even became one of her biggest reasons to be determined to be successful so that somehow they can run into each other again when Jihyo fulfills her dreams and it seemed that had now happened.

Sana smiled, “I see that you remember now. I really rooted for you, you know. And I’m so happy I got to see you succeed like you wanted. Although when you left the academy, it was so sudden��.i felt really lonely and hurt when I found out during the next game you know.”

Jihyo averted her eyes, “It was sudden…I didn’t know how long I had to accept the offer so I just did it as soon as possible to not have regrets. I’m sorry it was so rushed. It wasn’t until after they told me I had to move away the next day that I realized I wouldn’t be able to properly say my goodbyes to everyone who supported me.

Sana sighed and nodded, “Yes I understood that after a bit of time. But I still”, She pokes Jihyo’s nose, “expect you to make up for that. How could you leave me just like that”.

Jihyo suppressed a smile, “Don’t say that, if you weren’t so cold towards me maybe I’d have asked for your number and we would have kept in touch.”

Sana covered her mouth, her cheeks tinting slightly, “I was really busy with my studies all the time back then…it was stressful so I wasn’t in a good mood all the time…besides…”, Sana fidgets a little, “you can ask for it now…”, she said shyly and quietly.

Jihyo laughed but her face turned red too, “well…you are going to be my doctor..so I suppose I do need your number…”

Sana smiles shyly and writes down her number, handing it to Jihyo, “remember, I’m available anytime”, she said as she leaned in quite close to Jihyo’s face before quietly adding, “for you”.

“In that case I guess maybe I’ll make use of that luxury quite often”, Jihyo teased but her heart was pounding, “I’ll make it up to you for leaving so suddenly but only if you make up for being so cold.”

“Deal.”, Sana agreed smiling.

Jihyo was forced back into the present as the press conference ended and the flashing of the cameras started again. She smiled and waved as she made her exit, heading towards the infirmary, a smile on her face…

[outsidereveries]

H O N E Y B U Z Z

vol. 1, fiasco between min heejin and hybe

—alleged testifying experiment—

min heejin's side: "i did it for newjeans' sake! their future as a group was at risk and the things i said and shared was what i actually saw. i know that what i did in the past was controversial and shady if you see it like that, but this time i am innocent!"

the alleged truth about min heejin and her thoughts of the situation are (overall) what she "said" to me in testifiying form. however, deep inside she is freaking out. her intuition seems in higher frequency than usual (considering that i saw she's very superstitious, that she has a friend shaman and so on) and she really expects the worst to happen.

park jiwon's side: "honestly, i am quite neutral about that situation, but i also did some things that influenced the current drama. i didn't want to do it at first. like, really! but some of the ceos really envy that woman. i really want to move on from it because i realise only now what i did, i am sorry"

the alleged truth about park jiwon is "everything is a business". he is really neutral about min heejin, for this i can believe him. howeveer, he's not sorry for what he did. the only influence i can see for his actions is money as everything to the corporation is related to that. these scandals aren't his favorite thing from him to see and do if he happens to be influenced to do it so but if anyone gives him money, he closes his eyes for that. this seems to be his nature. i am unsure of his family background.. does he have any relatives who are involved in the korean politics?

kim taeho (belift)'s side: "they gave me money to copy newjeans' concept and everything else! i know you don't believe me because i dislike min heejin too but if i had any control over i'll-it's concept, i wouldn't do that! like ever! that's why r u next? was rigged too! because (me incluced) some higher-ups dislike min heejin!"

the alleged truth about kim taeho is similar to what he "said" to me. he certainly didn't want i'll-it to have similar concept to newjeans but he had no choice. the higher-ups allegedly have given money to belift to do that. he tried to make hybe reconsider but they refused, therefore that's why i'll-it debuted .. like that.

bang sihyuk's side: "i did it out of jelaousy and envy! i did it, i am responsible for whatever had happened. i am not sorry about it though, i really hate her guts (note: i am thinking about that line in kendrick lamar's euphoria where he says that he hates this and that..), i really hate her! i am paranoid about newjeans' relevance, it should've been le sserafim or i'll-it! not newjeans!"

the alleged truth about bang sihyuk is similar to park jiwon's mindset - "nothing personal, it's just business." however, that's a karma bang sihyuk has to receive. the karma is the biggest keyword for him this time and i'll say that min heejin is just the beginning.

so sungjin (soumu)'s side: "i don't know what's going on, i am not involved."

the alleged truth.. so sungjin is the biggest liar! he's the most involved in this fiasco! if sihyuk wants to "crush aespa", so sungijn envies her the most! he wanted le sserafim to be successful, not newjeans! he wanted newjeans to be locked in the dungeon and to be treated in similar way as blackpink, not to thrive! he wanted min heejin to have the less popular group, not the second most (after bts; to him it feels like that)!

han seongsu (pledis)'s side: "i really like what min heejin did until now, so i am personally on her side. i don't know what's going on this detailed, if i have to compare my knoweledge with the chairman's for example, but she's not at fault. at least this time."

the alleged truth about han seongsu is similar. he is really clueless why min heejin is attacked, he doesn't know what's going on and is seemingly on her side.

shin youngjae (big hit music's ceo)'s side: "i also don't know what's going on."

the alleged truth about shin youngjae is different. he hides that he know certain things, he's hurt that hybe is in this situation and he dislikes that he cannot do anything. he also seems to be on min heejin's side too but tries to be as neutral as possible. however, he also is manipulated about what he has seen from bang sihyuk and everyone else. shin seems to be very conflicted and possibly too emotional, he accepts his job very deeply and tries to see the truth but apparently, shin has wrong perception about some people. so far i see that bhm's ceo was wrong about who the chairman is.

zico (koz)'s side: "i've been living in a lie, to be honest. i was wrong about who hybe was."

the alleged truth about zico is not much different as he is remembering what hybe showed to him before deciding to become their subsidiary. at this point, he might want to break free from hybe. is zico on min heejin's side? possibly yes, but that's not the main focus for him about the recent situation.

so, why did the issue happened? DETAILED explanation

the reason why it happened is because of lack of maturity from some higher-ups' side. so far i feel there are issues that are far beyond min heejin's existence and possibly even out of it (newjeans included). everyone (with possibly 2-3 exceptions) is very, very competitive and they love the fierce energy the battle for more power, fame, money and etc. they are afraid of min heejin and that's why they want to eliminate her. these who are involved in this battle to remove ador's ceo want bigger percentage of what they win/lose, money and so on. basically, because of more power.

who's at fault?

if min heejin didn't act, this might haven't happened at all, it might've turned to worse situation. even though mhj might've had the upper hand at one point, now it's not like that because of other influences. si hyuk, sungjin and to some extent jiwon and taeho, are also at fault because of how they dislike her (and even more..) as the envy here is really deep inside themselves (sungjin, si hyuk, taeho at some point?, jiwon at some point?).

what could possibly happen?

considering the ceo change in ador, the team in the subsidiary is definitely against it. they are aware what will happen and are preparing themselves in one way or another. hybe, on the other hand, don't want ador to even exist. from quite some time i see ador literally vanishing and the subsidiary being replaced with another one. expect reconstruction in the whole corporation and even revealing more secrets.

[domquixotedospobresblog]

They moved to my street, there were five of them, they had three children, two boys and a girl, Ivani was her name, a beautiful brunette, she looked like a little Indian girl from the comics, I immediately fell in love with her, there are some old slang words in the text, because I'm just remembering a crush, so she was a sweetheart, you know those really nice girls, always smiling and not caring if you have fashionable shoes, flip-flops or your feet on the ground, that was my case, when I saw her and she also saw me, I was coming back from fishing here in the old clay pit, not the cachaça, it was a place where my father collected clay to make bricks, we were potters, so she gave me the biggest ball, I was all dirty with clay and flip-flops in my hands, then I started trying to win her over, I bought her those little surprise boxes that came with metal or plastic rings and chains, I took lollipops and candy to school, if she asked, anonymous notes and a thousand hearts, she knew I liked her, but Women have always liked to tease, on party days I would run after her and ask to dance, until one of them, in the middle of the rush, she grabbed me by the arm and said she accepted, I naively thought it was to dance, she took me by the hand under the big shin guard, there in the dark she asked me for a kiss, and I quickly, out of nowhere, ran home, I was very scared, I had never kissed, I was only eleven years old, we remained friends, but the taste of that mouth was never tasted, not by me, because I had chickened out.

Jonas r Cezar

[bamnamuu]

that’s how you get the girl - riki nishimura

06. put two and two together

warnings cursing talks of wanting to kys but not seriously, Riki is an idiot typos obvi | ems note sorry i went m.i.a for a while schools been taking it out of me butttttt new parts!!!!!!! also sunghoon has been bias wreaking me so hard recently | masterlist | last part next part |

You’ve never ran so fast anywhere before, it was all kinda over kill considering no one was chasing you, not even Riki who had called you a billion times trying to get you to confess your crush. Sunghoon just stared at you like you were insane when he finally caught up to you.

 “Are you ok?’’ Hoon asked putting a hand on your shoulder for extra sincerity, sunghoon was the one other person to know about the situation since you couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer. ''Yeah I'm sure i’ll be fine, what are you gonna get?’’ you say opening the door to Gugudan cafe waiting for sunghoon to enter just for him to still be staring at you this time like he’s going to kill you. 

“WHAT! It was just a joke sunghoonie.’’ you say fluttering your eyelashes at the man as he rolls his eyes and walks into the shop.

 “WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?’’ you didn't have to see the persons face to know that it was yunjin standing with her hands on her hips like a mother. “Sorry junnie- wait how long have you been here?’’

“Oh, since 7!’’ the ginger girl said smiling. “I didn’t know they were open so early?’’ Sunghoon said looking around the empty cafe, “their not’’ you and yunjin said at the same time.

 You made your way over to the register to order the biggest and strongest coffee they got while sunghoon waited behind you to see if they had hot chocolate, “can I also get a large hot chocolate?’’ you say turning to look at sunghoon, “is that all?’’ the teenager across from you said but before you could say anything you hear sunghoon mumble thank god under his breath. You paid and went to go sit with yunjin who was losing her mind waiting for you to be done, “so?’’ she said,

 ''riki asked me last night if i had a crush on anyone, and obvi i wasnt gonna tell him it was him but i said yes anyway and then he started bugging me on who it was and then he somehow came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to tell him because i like one of our friends.’’ you said in one full breath waiting for yunjin’s response, in which you received very little as the red headed girl in front of you just stared at you mouth agape. 

''Gosh yn even i had more of a reaction when you told me.’’ sunghoon was the one who broke the silence, you kicked him in the shin because he broke his promise of not telling yunjin he knew before what happened before she did. ''YOU TOLD HIM BEFORE ME!’’ yunjin said resulting in sunghoon jolting from the sudden volume change. 

''yes but only because I couldn't wait to tell you and what is HE going to do with that information?’’ you said gesturing towards the 6ft man who was sipping his hot coco. ''touche’’ yunjin said meeting your eyes. 

''What are you gonna do now?’’ someone else said. ''who was that?’’ sunghoon said confused ''a ghost’’ you said trying to scare him, it didn't.

''it was nothing!’’ youjin said moving her phone off the table. ''Huh yunjin show me your phone.’’ you said getting a feeling she was hiding a blue haired girl on her screen. ''Fine’’ she said flipping her phone around to show sakura on the other line looking confused but happy. ‘’But seriously yn what are you gonna do? You can’t keep helping him without causing yourself stress.’’ sakura said over the phone. 

''I know but I don't know how I can stop this situation without making him suspect that something is wrong, or god he might come up with another stupid explanation!’’ you said putting your head on the table in defeat. ''I wish life was like before he asked me to help him, where it was just me pining after him and him not caring about who I liked,’’ you said completely deflating.

''if there's anyone to blame for this current situation it’s heeseung.’’ sunghoon said trying to lighten the mood but he ended up just making you and yunjin confused. '' he's the one that told ni-ki to help you with your crush.’’ he said nonchalantly 

''HE WHAT?’’ the three of you said in unison.

''Heeseung is an idiot and your ‘boy’friend is also and idiot, put two and two together and you end up with a yn in a stupid position.’’ he said, bringing his hands up for air quotes for they boyfriend part. 

''oh yn your surrounded by idiots, im gonna go to the bathroom and when i come back kkura and i will have a plan for you ok?’’ yunjin said patting your head for comfort as she got up, while she walked away you could hear sakura asking why she needs to go to the bathroom with her, but you dont ask questions. 

''you know this whole thing is gonna be real funny when I look back on it.’’ you said staring at Sunghoon who gave you a look to continue, ''You know when I move away and change my name, I'm gonna look back onto this and laugh!’’ you hear sunghoon start chuckling.

“Yn you’re not moving away sunoo would find where you went and drag you back home.’’ just the mention of sunshine personified you smiled, ''yea i guess youre right, plus i think i would miss you guys too much, mostly sunoo and jungwon and jay and jake and ri-’’ you were going to continue before sunghoon interrupted you by slurping his drink loudly, the action caused you to start laughing uncontrollably, no clue why it wasnt that funny, but it felt right, sunghoon put his drink down and started to laugh with you until he looked out the window and stopped.

“Fuck’’ Sunghoon said under his breath causing you to look up and out the window to what he's looking at, standing right outside the window was Riki, looking back and forth between the two of you looking like he solved the world's hardest problem that doesn’t exist. Fuck was right

thygtg tag list [open] @txtlyn @sakiimeo @nyfwyeonjun @r4innoms @chansburgah @cakuqe @laylasmother @candyhere @fertiliezedtoesw

bolded blogs cant be tagged

[chaoticyumelikes]

Mao Mao Mao x Gn!Reader

Good ol' dad

Shin Mao has come to visit his son at the forceful request of his wife. Fortunately, since the last time he visited, the legendary hero has been more caring towards Mao Mao, even as far as not getting his name wrong so often.

Mao Mao still looked up to his dad despite Adorabat and Badgerclops still not knowing why. So naturally in a casual conversation, the topic of you arose.

Mao Mao had the biggest crush on you but you always seemed to try to quickly get away from him or say something awkward and there you disappear. His dad listened to him attentively and seemed to recognize some patterns in how you reacted. But to make sure...he came up with a plan. He told his son to follow him and show him who you were. Mao Mao thought something strange was going on but didn't object to his father and they went out to your usual location. Seeing you there Mao Mao pointed at you and Shin Mao grinned.

"Alright," he whispered to his son "Just play along."

Now with a slightly louder voice, he says: "Well Moo Moo, gotta say your position here as a hero is just not impressive."

Your ears turned in their direction.

"What? But dad--"

"I mean! Your sisters would have already moved on to bigger places than this."

You clenched your fists.

Mao Mao even though he knew his father was up to something still hurt. His eyes threatened to spill tears.

"Honestly, such a disappointment Me Mo"

Suddenly you moved with such speed that others only saw a blur. You climbed Shin Mao's chestplate till you were face to face as you yelled.

"His name is MAO MAO!! MAO! MAO! He is LITERALLY your last name THREE TIMES!!! How could you even get it wrong?! Also! Disappointment?! Excuse you!!! Your son has been looking after Pure Heart Valley's citizens, fighting a strange and regular horde of monsters and sky pirates for no reason other than his good heart and in hopes he can make you proud. HOW DARE YOU HAVE SUCH AN ATTENTIVE SON THAT LOVES YOU AND TREAT HIM WITH SUCH DISRESPECT?! With such A FLIPPANT ATTITUDE EVEN?! You do NOT DESERVE HIM!!!!!"

Mao Mao's eyes widen at your reaction. He blushes at every compliment you give him and how passionate you are about defending his honour. Now he just needs to try to get you off his father who just looks at you with a calm smirk (which infuriates you even more).

Mao Mao finally being able to wrap his hands around you trying to get you off. "It's ok, stop, please!"

"No! He needs to know! Aaaargh!"

Mao Mao successfully removing you from his father gives you a kiss on your cheek which makes you go completely limp, face red at his action.

"I-I just---- I need to go!" And there you go running away again.

At this Shin Mao boisterously laughs.

"See, son? They like you back! If they didn't they wouldn't risk coming to face me!"

Mao Mao blushes still looking at you disappearing on the horizon at how embarrassed you were. His father places a paw on his shoulder "My father did the same for me when I was trying to get with your mother you know? All beings turn insanely protective of the ones they love. Even if they are up against a legendary warrior! So you have nothing to worry about Mao Mao... Well, maybe you should worry they are going into the monster forest..."

Mao Mao stiffens at that and, seeing as you indeed were headed towards the forest in your blind panic, screams and dashes to save you.

Shin Mao just chuckles as he remembers the same thing that happened in his youth with his now wife.

[medea10]

My Review of Cherry Magic

(short for: Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!)

Note from the reviewer: Hi everyone! Sorry it's been several months since I last posted a review. It has been a hard and stressful time for me. I've had to endure a surgery, two infections, my younger cat having a heart attack and dying, a family member have her cancer come back, and this one condition of mine where I had symptoms plague me for an entire month. As you can see, I had no interest in writing reviews. Now that a lot of this turbulence has passed, I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. With all of that unpleasantness out of the way, let's get at it.

-----

When looking at this title, your first thought is this is an Isekai, a BL, and has a run-time of 5 minutes per episode.

As it turns out, this is a work-place comedy and has a normal running time of 22+ minutes. But it’s still a BL. That’s good enough for me!

Kiyoshi Adachi is 30 years old and still a virgin. Apparently, Adachi has acquired some weird power upon turning 30. Whenever he touches someone, he can hear the thoughts in their head. Adachi actually finds this power lame and also annoying in cramped places like crowded trains. One morning at his job, he accidentally brushed up against the handsome and charismatic employee, Yuuichi Kurosawa. Turns out, Kurosawa has a crush on Adachi.

Despite having some perverted thoughts about Adachi, Kurosawa really doesn’t act upon them. Yes, he invites Adachi over and yes, it’s a little odd that he has an extra pair of pajamas that are his exact size. But at least Kurosawa doesn’t do things to his crush that would chase him away. As for Adachi, this must be a big shock. But is he seeing this workmate in a new light? Could you even say that he may like Kurosawa?

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: The sucky thing about BL animes is that the licensing company usually never dubs it. I know there are dubbed ones out there, but it sometimes feels like a why even bother looking. And I was ready to write this off as yet another BL anime that’s to be left alone. Crunchyroll released an English dub to this several months after the anime’s premier. When it comes to the sub, I’m glad I’m getting the opportunity to hear some of these men again. I only know the two main cast members for one big recent role and almost nothing else. So, this always helps me. Plus, this cast also has Makoto Furukawa and Ami Koshimizu. You cannot go wrong here!

Yes, there’s an actual female in the show. She was seen as a possible rival of love, but it just turns out she’s just a big shipper of Adachi and Kurosawa. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Adachi is played by Chiaki Kobayashi (known for Stark on Frieren and Yuu on Sing Yesterday for Me)

*Kurosawa is played by Ryouta Suzuki (Ishigami on Kaguya-sama and Ryouhei on Tsurune)

ENGLISH CAST: *Adachi is played by Daman Mills (known for Amethio on Pokemon Horizons, Monaka on DB Super, Yakov on Yuri on Ice, Osamu on Haikyuu, Shin on Misfit of Demon Academy, and Ginshi on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

*Kurosawa is played by Dio Garner

SHIPPING: I have to wonder about Adachi for a moment. I know it’s clear that he’s a 30-year-old virgin. But not every relationship is built around sex. My question is, has Adachi ever been in a romantic relationship prior to meeting Kurosawa? By the looks of it, he really didn’t show much interest in hanging around other people. Even a small group of coworkers make him a little tense. It might have to do with this recent power that he has. There was also a flashback of something that happened to Adachi. It didn’t end well obviously. But I digress.

Time to open up a bag of cheesy popcorn and talk about these two boys.

Kurosawa’s mind is essentially an open book for Adachi. He knows Kurosawa has a burning passion for him. But Kurosawa doesn’t try to act upon his biggest urges. He gets an opportunity to kiss Adachi, but just does a safe kiss on the forehead. Modesty or just trying to not to be so obvious. Halfway into the series, there’s a confession and an acceptance. Seeing them move fast even for a 12-episode series makes me wonder if this relationship is going to go further like them sleeping together. And with that said, what would happen if Adachi loses his virginity? Will he lose his power? Oh, but I’m over-thinking things here. I’ve got another ship to discuss here.

Wait, what?! Are we going down the Junjou-Sekaiichi route?

Tsuge is Adachi’s long-time friend. He’s a writer and surprise, surprise a virgin like his friend. And just like Adachi, Tsuge got hit with the supernatural as whoever he has skin contact with, he can read their minds. Tsuge winds up making friends with a delivery boy, Minato. I know the boy is only coming back to see the kitty Tsuge recently adopted, but we all know what’s up. Unlike Adachi and Kurosawa, these two had no interest whatsoever at the beginning. It felt like Minato didn’t really see Tsuge as a friend until it was close to the end of the series. And Tsuge was a bit quicker with his feelings.

ENDING: By the halfway point, Adachi and Kurosawa are an item and went on their first awkward date. What comes next? Total honesty! Yeah, Adachi has been holding a pretty big secret from Kurosawa and that’s him being able to read thoughts when there’s skin-to-skin contact. Adachi almost let the secret out on accident once or twice, but could pass it off as one of them being too drunk. On Kurosawa’s birthday, there was an event for work. Adachi invited his friend Tsuge and Tsuge invited his friend Minato. This is when Adachi learns that Tsuge recently got the same power as Adachi.

Okay, so I guess that means it’s just the same power of being able to read minds. That just means Japan’s got a mass horde of 30-year-old virgins reading people’s thoughts. But of course, it can only work if there’s skin-to-skin contact. Depending on your life, you could go your whole life without noticing you have this power. But I digress.

Another effect to the power is that Adachi and Tsuge are able to communicate telepathically. The boys learn that this power led them to someone they have feelings for. Of course, Adachi can’t enjoy this moment of clarity. Kurosawa sees the two boys standing together and got jealous. Jealousy is Kurosawa’s ugliest trait. He is jealous of nearly every person Adachi talks to. After Tsuge leaves, Adachi reveals to Kurosawa that he has the mind-reading power and has had it for a while now. Thankfully, it didn’t cause a rift in the relationship. Both boys seem to love each other just the same if not more so. Although, Kurosawa is a bit embarrassed knowing that Adachi has kinda been prying in his mind for a while now.

Okay, the big reveal for Adachi is already out in the open and there’s three or four episodes left. What now? Something kinda huge! Work life kinda comes in and sticks a wrench in things. The higher-ups noticed how much Adachi has improved as of recent. You can chalk that up to Adachi now being able to read minds and the side-help he’s been getting from Kurosawa. But the big bosses wanted to give Adachi an opportunity at one of their other branches in Nagasaki. And currently, they are in a different city. I honestly forget where. It really felt like Adachi had no interest in doing this and not just because of Kurosawa. So, he tip-toes around the idea by speaking to another colleague about taking up the opportunity or not. This did not sit well with Kurosawa when he learned about what Adachi did. Kurosawa was not only mad that he didn’t discuss this situation with him, but that he spoke with another coworker about it.

Meanwhile, let’s look at Tsuge’s situation. Unlike his friend, Tsuge is not in a relationship with Minato and there’s an air of uncertainty of whether Minato feels the same way as Tsuge. Plus, Minato has got other things on his mind like dancing. He has the chance to go professional and be in a dance troupe. Tsuge has been a real big supporter of Minato. He even got him to an important performance when his bike ran out of gas. This looks like things are going to end nicely. Ehhh…that was until Tsuge reveals to Minato that he had a bit of an ulterior motive for doing so much to help him.

This is where we’re at. Adachi and Tsuge have not spoken to the guys they like for a couple of days. Both for different reasons, but both for stuff they said and did. The Minato situation is that Minato couldn’t talk about joining this dance troupe as it was sudden and secret until the reveal, so boy’s been busy. Tsuge showed up at the debut with a gift of new sneakers and hell yeah, Minato wanted to see Tsuge. Both boys reveal how they feel about each other currently. It’s looking good.

As for Adachi and Kurosawa, Adachi is on the 10-day business trip to Nagasaki and Kurosawa is just miserable. Actually, both boys are miserable! They both said and did things that they regret over a work issue. It looked as though Adachi was ghosting Kurosawa until Kurosawa got a hand-written letter from Adachi. More can be said in a letter than in a text message. Kurosawa winds up making the long trip to Nagasaki and waited for Adachi outside his hotel. Not only are they made up, they look like they’re about to fuck. Did they?

Oh, yes ma’am these boys fucked. Huh? I wonder if Adachi or Tsuge have sex if their mind-reading powers will disappear. Oop, right on cue! Yeah, Adachi lost it. It’s a weird feeling, but I think most of his thoughts are of trying to open this new location in Nagasaki and wanting to be with Kurosawa. And…ooh, I’m too excited because the end result made me very happy.

Rings. Vows. FUCKING WEDDING WITH EVERYONE THERE! Happy ending!

Sorry, after watching Yuri on Ice all those years ago, I’m still going to lose my shizzle when I see two boys who love each other exchange rings. God, I miss the fuck out of that show. Oh well, at least I know that we will one day get the Yuri on Ice movie that has been promised to us that is on its way since 2017.

I am now receiving word from some random place that the Yuri on Ice movie has been dropped by Studio Mappa. FUUUUUUUUUUU-

But as for this series, I liked it. I might even pick up the manga to quench this thirst of mine. I’m wondering how a story like this continues as both of these boys are now happily married. Unless the story decides to cover more with Tsuge and Minato. I think I’ll just check out the live-action drama that aired in 2023. Yeah, believe it or not, the live-action came out before the anime. I see a lot of hype surrounding this particular title. It’s no surprise that a compilation film was announced immediately after the season ended. That’s sometimes a good sign that more content is on the way. I think those who are into BL anime, this might be a good watch. And for those long-time Yuri on Ice holdouts…I’m pissed off too. But maybe, take your mind off the anger and check this puppy out.

If you would like to watch Cherry Magic, Crunchyroll not only has the anime, but also the live-action drama as well.

[hurlumerlu]

miw/neo/shin for the ship ask ?

Well obviously you can guess that I love them, I haven't been subtle about it (also thank you for diving in the tag and providing me with good gifsets u.u) I love them individually - though Miw's the best and the guys are both sometimes irritating in their own way, you can't change my mind - and I love them as a trio, but I also love how they (still as a trio) interract with other characters in universe and narratively, and I love every single side of their triangle, though again : Miw & Shin have such a fun and surprisingly meaty dynamic, it's definitely my favourite out of the three.

On that subject, it is really nice to see a polyamorous triad that isn't a perfect triangle but where the non-romantic side is given (roughly) as much weight as the romantic ones. Neo isn't here when Miw and Shin meet, and something sparks without him. There's this shift, in their first bedroom scene, where Miw is bringing forth this cute and nice persona but respond to Shin's attempt at sincerity by deciding that putting her more abrasive self forward is a risk worth taking, and it's pretty pivotal ? After that Shin trusts her even when it's... pretty obvious she's lying, and she reciprocate by simply wanting to spend time with him without expecting anything from him. Like, their friendship started before The Clusterfuck, it could have blossomed on it's own, and it is important from that point on (Shin #1 Miw defender).

That being said, I also enjoy having a f/m/m polycule where the woman isn't the arrow's head. I feel like the very few stories who depict this kind of situations tend to rely on the men being bro but desiring the same woman in a weird attempt to, idk, retain some heterosexuality ? Not that it works. But here it feels like they went out of their way to avoid that, and I am here for it. Everyone gets their turn in the middle, but Neo is the clear linchpin of the throuple. Remove him and they fall appart, because of their respective insecurities. "It's time for this movie to end", say Miw, because why would she saddle the rich boy with her trashy mess ? and Shin doesn't object because why would he bother this cool girl that his crush loves more than him ? The three of them are stupidly self-sacrificial in different ways. But yeah, it's Neo's belief that when it comes to love they are allowed to have it all that keeps them together and it's just sweet.

Speaking of insecurities, I appreciate that it does actually take more than them fucking once for their relationship to be all smooth sailing, and that most of their hangs-up are pretty realistic results of, uh, living in our world. Like, Miw & Neo's poverty and their complicated relationship re: sex-work that they keep throwing in each other's face (Neo straight up calling Miw a whore, Miw arguing that Neo's a bad romantic prospect because he's poor and vulgar and uneducated) ? And you cannot convince me that Shin's conviction that he's just not as important to them as they are to him is partly from experiencing homophobia and seeing himself as the gay option vs Miw/Neo as the normal path anyone would want to take. I mean obviously gangster dad is the biggest obstacle in their path but I like that they also face internal ones. I'm often frustrated by the way polyamory is sometimes presented as the solution to love triangles (especially in fandom spaces) because imo, the neat narrative thing an OT3 does isn't that it solves the problem, but that it creates different ones. The show does it beautifully.

On a more, idk, bird-eyed view perspective ? I greatly enjoy just watching them blaze accross Thailand ruining lives without meaning to. The Mae/Phon/Ter mirrorverse doomed trio, Neo's boss, that guy Oat, the hotel manager and her family, Neo's brother, Luang I guess, even arguably Vanika... never has a polycule been such an ill-omen. Incredible Natural Disaster Energy. Three will be free and yes that is a threat.

UGH there was something else I wanted to talk about but I forgot what it was, I didn't expect this to get this long and also I'm sick and my brain isn't working super well right now. Anyway : never forget Neo fucked the step-son right after the step-mom. Or that time when Miw flirted with Neo's brother, while Neo watched them with jealousy, while Shin watched HIM with jealousy. Terrible work, team, eat some pot-brownies and then hit the showers.

[hannieehaee]

BAD HABIT (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: hiding his secret crush on you was already hard enough for jungkook, and after getting bit by a spider, he'd now have the grueling task of hiding his brand-new superhero identity from you.

content: spiderman!jungkook, f2l!jungkook, based on mcu's spiderman and is supposed to take place during/after civil war but with an aged up spiderman, college-aged Jungkook and reader, picture tattoo-less 2019 jungkook, pining, slow burn-ish, afab reader, smut, dry humping, fingering, penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 878 (teaser); 9.4k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: august 6th

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: writing a spideykook fic is a right of passage for every jk fanfic writer

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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"Oh my God, did you see what he did last night?", you excitedly shoved your phone in Jungkook's direction, showing him yet another news article detailing Spiderman's newest act of bravery.

"What, did he stop another bank robbery?", Jungkook showed disinterest in your interruption, continuing to pay attention to what was playing on the TV.

"Okay, booo! Why are you so lame about him? He's so cool," you complained, setting your back against the couch again with a frown.

"I dunno," he shrugged, "Just don't see what the big deal is about him. There's cooler superheroes out there."

With the light from the TV shinning on the two of you, you allowed the content from the movie to consume you for a bit before arguing back. You always argued back when it came to Spiderman. This was practically routine to Jungkook by now.

"Like Iron Man? Sure, Tony Stark's cool, but think about it — Spiderman's probably just a regular person like you and me. Can you imagine doing all he does while keeping it all undercover?", you rambled on, "Also his body's crazy," you added as an afterthought, almost whispering it to yourself.

Jungkook couldn't help but chuckle at this, inadvertently looking down at his own abdomen before responding, "How do you know he's got a nice body under that suit?"

"You can literally see his abs through the suit! Duh!", you tutted at him as if he were an idiot to question you.

"Ah, right. My bad," he chuckled, "Okay, whatever. Just pay attention to the movie. You can ramble about him all you want after we finish, okay?," he held up his pinky towards you in a childish fashion, grinning when you giggled at him and intertwined your pinky with him, grumbling a 'fine' in mock annoyance.

Now with you both putting your focus on the movie, — Jungkook's all-time favorite, Back to the Future — Jungkook had the opportunity to lose himself to his own head, thinking about your recent obsession with Spiderman — New York's newest hero.

After Spiderman's recent appearance at an encounter with the Avengers in Germany, followed by a more prominent presence in the streets of New York with a revamped suit, you had instantly formed an intense interest in the masked man. Prior to that, the hero was mostly a man hidden in the shadows — a myth to all those in Queens. Almost immediately upon his return to New York he became a sensation across the world, but specially around the area in which he'd serve the people and fight all evil around.

Among all those fans stood you, maybe the biggest of them all.

It didn't take you long to develop a liking to the masked man upon his sudden resurgence. Jungkook had known you to get overly invested in your interests (there had been a few instances throughout your friendship where you'd demonstrated as such), but he never thought you'd be the type to develop such a blatant crush on someone you virtually knew nothing about. Past the fact that he was the youngest addition to the Avengers, there was not much information about Spiderman out to the general public, yet you were quite loud about your crush on him to everyone you knew — especially to Jungkook, who just so happened to be your best friend.

Unfortunately to Jungkook, you were entirely unaware that the man you were actually crushing on was your best friend in disguise.

And even more unfortunate to him, you were even more unaware of Jungkook's own crush on you.

Did this count? Were you technically crushing on Jungkook?

He chose to go for the most pesimistic answer and assume that your interest in Spiderman would immediately die upon finding out his real identity. Throughout your many years of knowing each other — all through the ups and downs of middle school and high school all the way to university — you'd never once shown anything but platonic interest in him.

To be fair, Jungkook also never gave you any clear indication of his feelings for you. He liked to think that he was discrete about it; that you had no idea of the embarrassing crush he'd been cultivating since freshman year of high school. Fortunately, you appeared to be far too oblivious to it, leaving Jungkook to hold not one but two life-altering secrets, never once considering letting you in on either of them.

For now, all Jungkook could do was make up lame excuses for his sudden absences and to grumble any time Spiderman's name was brought up. Part of him held disdain for Spiderman due to having to keep him a secret from you, but most of his dislike was born out of jealousy over your interest in him. What did he have that Jungkook didn't? Nothing! But he could never tell you that, leading him to a never-ending dilema that he could entrust in no one.

The movie left his mind for the next of the night, much more so when you seemed to become disinterested again, cuddling against him as you prepared to let yourself fall asleep. This was common in your relationship, though it was always strictly platonic. It always left Jungkook wanting more, but still content at having you by his side.

...

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

[miztrixx]

Potential (and underutilized) dynamics between the Dummies and the participants in 3-1 (part 1, I may do more of these in the future)

(SPOILERS UP TO 3-1B)

The Dummies are pretty much the most underutilized part of YTTD, at least in my opinion. During the actual game, we only ever got to see their dynamics with each other, Sara or with their partners (in some cases they never really even interacted with their partner like with Anzu) Which is really sad because there are a lot of great dynamics I could see forming between certain Dummies and participants.

Kurumada and Q-Taro: We get to see a bit of their dynamic in the game, what with their banter about Q-Taro being an old-timer and stuff like that. Kurumada's scene in the Emotion Route where he tells Kanna and Q-Taro about the difference between "winning" and "not losing" is also really interesting to me, considering Q-Taro brings it up later and Kurumada's backstory. If they were paired up, I do think Kurumada would try to kill Q-Taro given his whole philosophy about first-rates and second-rates and it'd be really interesting to see how Q-Taro would handle it/forgive him like he did with Mai in the actual game.

Shin and (Fake) Hinako: These two definitely share a lot of parallels with each other, what with them having the lowest percentage rates and them both being impersonating little identity-stealers. Beyond that, I think Shin and Hinako would be a very interesting pair thematically because whereas Shin is a very emotionally-driven character, Fake Hinako is a much more logically/self-preservationally-driven one. But the interesting part is how they both come to the same conclusion: distrust. Seeing as how Hinako was paired up with Sara's biggest ally in the real game, I wonder how she would react to being paired up with Sara's worst enemy. Hell I could see Shin and Hinako teaming up and working against Sara in 3-2, if Hinako were to survive the Banquet.

Ranmaru and Kanna: This one I mostly just find a bit funny but there is some good potential to it: If Ranmaru was paired up with anyone other then Sara he would definitely try to kill him, his will to live is really strong and without a huge crush in the way, I'd say he has enough motivation to go through with it. And when he tries to kill Kanna, Kanna would of course forgive him being the little bean she is and I'd think she'd see a lot of Shin in him and try to resonate with him through a little speech, sort of how she did with Kurumada in canon.

Anzu and Keiji: Pairing up Keiji, someone who is extremely depressed, very reclusive and self-deprecative, with Anzu, someone who is always very light-hearted and tries her best to empathize/connect, would definitely be a sight for the eyes. Would it balance out? Would Anzu absorb some of Keiji's pessimistic attitude? Would Keiji lighten up for a change? When Keiji gets trapped in the coffin, I think Anzu would be just as motivated as Sara to save him if they were partners. She just can't bring herself to kill him, at all.

Mai and Gin/Kanna: I'm grouping this one together because although I think there would be differences based on whether or not it would be Gin or Kanna paired up with Mai, I'm mainly just going to focus on the quality both of them have that would impact Mai: being a kid. I think Mai would still put on her innocent bubbly persona on, maybe even acting quite motherly to Kanna/Gin, but would she actually go through with trying to kill/harm them? Maybe she would try to find some painless way to kill them or should we put her faith in the group as a whole. If they were to survive her murder attempt, Kanna would most likely just act like Q-Taro in canon whereas Gin might be way more scared of her and such.

Kanna and (Fake) Hinako: These two are often paired together as friends or as a ship and there's a lot of fan content where these two interact. But what I see basically never discussed is the thematic potential their pairing has, it's basically a mirror to the Shin and Hinako parallels I talked about earlier but inverted. Shin and Hinako have different motivations but reach the same conclusion whereas Kanna and Hinako are both quite logical characters (Kanna begs for you to choose the logical option in 2-2) and have the same viewpoints but come to differing conclusions: trust and distrust. Hinako would try to kill Kanna in my opinion because the way I see it, the only reason she didn't try to kill Keiji was because of strength and later on, sympathy. Would Kanna survive/overpower her? Who knows, but Kanna would definitely try to empathize/connect with Hinako, especially since they're around the same age.

That's it for now, but I might do more in the future!

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

Chapter 3

houghhh

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

Chapter alternatively titled 'Sayaka's plan delayed because Makoto decided to introduce Byakuya to Shin Ramyun.' Sorry Sayaka this scene was too funny to take out.

This Byakuya is a lot less antagonistic than canon Byakuya. But mostly because he's too busy dealing with some other stuff to worry about being the biggest asshole on the block.

He's also an unreliable narrator. Not just because he's blind here, but also because his thinking pattern is sometimes wildly out of the realm of usual logic, thanks to his upbringing.

Content warning tags: mild panic moment (I hesitate to call it a panic attack because I did not write this with that in mind, but Byakuya gets spooked by the lights going out and feels vulnerable)

< previous - from start - next >

Against his better judgment, he lets Naegi lead him to the cafeteria.

The halls are more or less empty, but some people are occupying a table when they arrive. He watches the dark-brown dollop of Asahina's head bob up as they walk in, and sees Ogami raise one of her heavy arms to wave. "Hey Makoto! And-" Asahina cuts off suddenly as she sees Byakuya behind him.

He’s not surprised by the sudden aversion. He hadn’t exactly been trying to put himself in the good graces of everyone around him. But he hears Ogami say "Byakuya," in polite acknowledgement, so he jerks his head back in a stiff nod.

"Hi, Hina. Hi, Sakura." Makoto greets back warmly. "Is there any soup left?"

"Well, it's just a little bit. It was really good, so we came back for seconds...and also thirds. And I think so did a few other people." She gives a sheepish laugh. "Sorry, if we knew you wanted any, we would have saved some more."

It takes Byakuya a moment to realize she's addressing him. "...It's fine." It's not like he was planning on eating from the same pot as everyone else, definitely not tonight when tensions were so high.

"What are you guys still doing here anyways? I thought everyone would be back in their rooms by now."

"I got antsy just waiting in my room, so I came out here to have some tea until curfew. Sakura happened to be here at the same time, so we figured he'd hang out together." How casual. That easy-going attitude was bound to get her killed if she wasn't careful. "Oh yeah. Sayaka came by a little earlier for some water."

“O-oh, really?” There’s a note of relief in his voice that was so pathetic it was almost funny, if Byakuya was in the mood to laugh. “I’m glad, she was really shaken up earlier. Thanks for letting me know!"

"Remember! Ishimaru said it's unwholesome to stay in opposite-sex dorms!" Asahina calls after him in a teasing lilt as they walk towards the kitchen, and Makoto stumbles, stammers something in denial in reply, and then picks up his pace, the back of his neck turning obviously pink.

Byakuya snorts when he notices. As if what Asahina was teasing about would ever happen; even with his reduced senses, he was well aware of Maizono's relation with Naegi from their interactions during morning meetings, and how that girl was jerking him around like a fish on a hook. The only person too stupid to realize that was the fish himself.

He pauses suddenly, standing in the middle of the kitchen. Maizono was someone who was deceitfully innocent, and a dangerous person to be around. The way she subtly took over during morning meetings with her polite, pretty demeanor and gentle gestures wasn't something that had escaped him. Sure, it was likely that Makoto was of the same type as her, deceptively clever and disingenuous in his friendliness, but he was also dancing in her palm. The two went to the same middle school, Byakuya had overheard, and Makoto was clearly nursing a crush on someone out of his league.

And yet, here was that girl, beyond his reach, playing at being his friend, sticking to his side. Right after the revealing of the first motive, she had been the first one to run from the room in a fit of anguish; there wasn't any doubt in Byakuya's mind that she was probably one of the most desperate to leave right now. And someone clever enough to actually have a chance at succeeding.

"Byakuya? What are you doing?"

"...Nothing." He says shortly. And moves to stand behind where Naegi was crouching, in front of a low pantry shelf stuffed with a mess of colored packaging.

"These are the instant meals. It's mostly noodles, but a lot of it is pretty high-end stuff. There's also some microwave stuff for curry and rice, and this Italian-rice thing...ri...rizz-oh-doh? I think?"

"'Risotto.'" Byakuya corrects him.

"Right, right. There's also ingredients for a sandwich or something. And I think there's some chicken nuggets in the freezer, too..." He must have seen the look of disgust on Byakuya's face, because he hurriedly says: "But, probably not that, right?"

None of it sounded particularly appealing to Byakuya. But he was hungry, and it wasn't like he'd never eaten commoner staples before. "Anything is fine. Pick for me."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes. I don't care." He waves his hand dismissively. "Ah, but if I don't like it, then I'll be suing you as soon as we get out of here for attempted poisoning."

He smiles inwardly as Naegi sputters, fumbling the packets in his hands. He doubted that there were any good sources of poison here, and trying to concoct something completely undetectable out of the few resources available to them was highly improbable. Besides, after enough assassination attempts, he had a decent tolerance for most poisons and was capable at detecting most of them, so he doubted such a thing would actually kill him; though as it was, he resolved to watch Naegi closely through every step of the cooking process.

"Here-um, how about this one?" The boy holds up a packet, black with red accents. "This one's pretty popular. Its flavor is spicy, uh...puh...pot aow fool?"

"...It's pronounced 'pot-au-feu', you half-witted buffoon." Byakuya rolls his eyes with a scoff. "I'm not sure how you've lived this long without a lick of French."

Naegi just chuckles awkwardly, sounding abashed. "Well...whatever it's called, I think it tastes pretty good. And it's supposed to have bone broth in it, which is supposed to be healthy? I'm pretty sure, at least." He stands up with the packet, and holds it out in Byakuya's direction.

"...What?" Byakuya asks, bemused. "Don't tell me you expect me to prepare this myself."

All he gets is stunned silence. If he had to guess, Naegi was probably confused, and Byakuya sighs, exasperated.

"All my food is prepared for me," He says, slowly, like explaining it to a child. "I'm not sure how you peasants have to deal with fending for yourself in that regard, but I have never had to prepare anything for myself in my entire life."

"...So, you don't know how to make instant noodles?"

"...I never said that." Even at his lowest points, he had never had to worry about going hungry. That had always been someone else’s concern. "But 'knowing' and 'doing' are entirely different things, you know."

"It's just boiling water and the noodles, though. And adding the flavoring packet."

"I fail to see the point you're trying to make."

Naegi makes a small sound, something between a sigh and a chuckle, and Byakuya feels irritation flare up, his ears beginning to warm. "Don't look at me like that."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Here, I'll make it for you."

He hovers over Naegi's shoulder the whole time, watching him do everything from boil the water to opening the noodles, but also chopping up green onions and cracking an egg (which, as he explained to Byakuya's questioning, was how he preferred to eat his noodles, though he could leave them out if he wanted. Byakuya decided to leave it). "Do you want chili-garlic oil in it? Junko added a lot to tonight's dish earlier, but it was actually a little too spicy for me."

"No. I'm not interested." Byakuya replies, before suddenly finding himself feeling irritated at having a similar preference as Naegi, of all people.

The end result is a rather hefty bowl, fragrant and swimming with color. Despite it being just a hastily whipped-up dish of cheap, scattered ingredients, Byakuya finds his mouth watering at the mere smell. Naegi hands him a pair of chopsticks.

"We should probably carry that to your room. It'll be ten o'clock soon." Naegi says, and Byakuya nods as he accepts the utensils, wrapping them in a napkin and placing them in his pocket. They click against the screwdriver, and suddenly he’s reminded of the situation they’re in.

He frowns, curling his hand around the handle. It’d be pointless to try and stab Naegi hare, but for a moment he had been forgetting himself. Forgetting the wariness he should be practicing at all times.

"Carry it for me." He orders, and Naegi, perhaps used to hearing his commands at this point, picks up the bowl without protest, holding it delicately between his hands. "If you spill, you're cleaning it up."

"Yeah, yeah, I know..."

He follows the shorter boy out of the kitchen. Asahina and Sakura are still there, though in the process of cleaning up and leaving - they wave as Naegi passes, and Byakuya ignores them - and then they're out of the cafeteria, walking in the direction of the dorms.

And it should have been - would have been - all fine, if the lights in the hallway hadn't suddenly dimmed in preparation for the nightly curfew. Immediately, Byakuya's vision drops, the colors washed out by gray, and even Naegi's movements become vague and less obvious besides him, blending in with their surroundings as just a slightly darker blot on the monochrome background. It's not as if the lights had gone completely out, or if his vision had been completely obscured; but for an instant, Byakuya has the irrational feeling of being entirely, totally alone.

Before he can stop himself, Byakuya's hand reaches out, and his fingers hook into the soft fabric of the other boy's hood.

"U-uh? What?"

Naegi stops in his tracks, and he turns, the cheap cotton dragging through Byakuya's fingers. "Byakuya? Is something wrong?"

He can't respond. That brief moment of anxiety was still thrumming through his veins, and he finds himself unable to speak, still working through the sudden burst of dread. Every single morning, he had woken up and found himself afraid to open his eyes, worried that his vision had worsened overnight, and every morning he found himself both relieved and disgusted when there was no change. He thought he had gotten used to it, at this point, adapted to it, and hidden it well, but…

That clearly wasn't the case. The sudden plunge into darkness had brought him back to when he first woke up in this twisted school, blind and helpless and stumbling. Utterly alone.

"Byakuya, hey. I'm right here."

Something warm presses against his front. It’s Naegi, leaning into his chest. He can feel the shorter man’s hair rustling against his shirt. "Take a deep breath, okay? I'm right here."

Deep breath? He acts as if Byakuya was panicking, which was preposterous. And the assumption that his presence was comforting was stupid and absurd. "I'm fine." He says, but his voice sounds rougher than he intends.

"Yeah, I know." Naegi replies, and his voice is soft, and a balm on Byakuya's nerves. "I'm gonna walk towards your room, okay? You can keep holding onto my hood."

"I don't need to," He mutters back, but it's a useless protest. His hand stays wrapped in the hood of Naegi's jacket as they start moving again, this time slower than before. 

The screwdriver is still in his pocket. Byakuya closes his eyes, letting everything fall to complete darkness, and finds he can still hear the sound of Naegi's breath, calm and repetitive.

"We're here."

He opens his eyes, and reaches out to his left, his hand meeting the wooden plane of his door. He releases Naegi's jacket to fish the key out of his pocket, and it only takes him two tries before he manages to slot it into the keyhole, and he pushes his way inside.

Here, the lights are on, and it's a relief to be able to recognize things again, however murky. He turns just in time to catch Naegi, once more a mass of earthy colors, setting the bowl on his nightstand with a quiet sound.

"Wait," And again, he was acting before he was thinking, before he could stop himself. It was something that was unbecoming of him, something that should only be done by the primitive and uncivilized, and yet he couldn't feel disgusted about it just yet. "Makoto."

The forest-colored shape stops at the door. "Yeah?"

"Stay." It's meant to be an order, but it doesn't sound like one, not even to himself, too soft and desperate and pleading. But Naegi turns away from the door at least, and Byakuya lets out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "We need to talk."

The insufferable commoner makes him eat first, before talking. Makes him sit on the edge of the bed with the bowl in his lap (because for some preposterous reason, their rooms all lacked chairs, of all things), and tells him to eat as much as he can, and he'll be back soon, he needs to 'go check on Sayaka, she'd been asking after me earlier...'

That woman is using you, Byakuya's tempted to say. But instead, all he said was: "Hurry up, then. Don't leave me waiting." Before the door shuts behind him, and he was gone.

It was rather infuriating. For once, Byakuya had made a request (he won't call it a plea, because he never made pleas, not even for his own life) - and that senseless, dim-witted fool had prioritized her over him. As if Byakuya wasn't the smarter of the two options, the one who could offer more, anything - the one Naegi should have been trying to get into the good graces of, as he had been earlier. And yet, all it took was a foolish, half-formed infatuation with Maizono, and now Byakuya was alone again.

At least the food was decent. It was salty, certainly, and a little overpowering in the spices, but it was warm and filling and acceptable enough, and he finished it surprisingly quickly. After which point, Naegi still hadn't returned, and with nothing else to do he took it upon himself to start preparing for bed.

It's as he's brushing his teeth, and staring at the yellow smudge of his head in the mirror, that he realizes the deplorable state he'd fallen into. First he let Naegi, of all people, wheedle him away from the safety of his room to go eat of all things, and furthermore, he let that peasant prepare his food in the middle of a killing game. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he put on that trembling, pathetic display in the hallway, freezing up just because the lights went out, like a child-

And then, letting Naegi help him. Letting him offer that simple, stupid reassurance, and then feeling comforted by it. By that ugly, underhanded pity that Byakuya hated so much.

It disgusts him so much he could puke.

It's this cursed blindness, he thinks, and not for the first time, he presses fingers to his closed eye, a pointless motion. If it weren't for this, he wouldn't be so helpless, so dependent, and so easily manipulated by such cheap tactics. If it weren't for this, his existence as a Togami wouldn't be as perilous as it is now.

He needed to resolve this as soon as possible. By any means possible.

I can't let him get the better of me again.

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[crashcitycentral]

[ Just some small practice writing snippit I wrote with adult Bart/Preston ]

It’s always the little things in life that remind you of what you miss the most. For Bart, it was the sunrise.

It’s trivial, something that happens every day, but no matter how early he has to be up, he’s always right there watching the sun come up over the horizon. Sometimes from different places around the world for a new angle or view.

No one really notices, or if they did no one asked why. Bart does a lot of strange things that are inexplainable, people stopped questioning him a long time ago. But staring at the sun coming up? That was special, something only for himself.

That’s how it started anyways. Later on he did more and more things for the same reasons, but again, nobody asked. Well, not until now.

“Where did you go this morning?” Preston asks into his next bite of eggs over the breakfast table. Bart was distracted pouring himself a glass of orange juice that it caught him by surprise.

“What?” He didn’t need to hear it again, he knew what Preston was asking, but it was jarring having someone call him out on it. He’d been doing this same routine since he was 15, and only now was it actually spoken aloud.

“It’s just, you got up super early and left for half and hour.” Preston ducks his head, embarrassment seeping into his voice as he adds. “Not that I was keeping track of you like a weirdo, I just woke up when you went out.”

“Oh.” Bart mutters with baited breath. They sit in more awkward silence before he actually caught up to his thoughts. He’d never actually sat down and explained this, but if he was going to trust anyone with this, it was Preston.

“I was watching the sunrise.” Bart smiles a bit and picks up his glass, sipping slowly at it.

“You got up that early just to watch the sunrise?” Preston gapes at him like he couldn’t comprehend what he was hearing. “Is that some kind of daily ritual from the future I’m not getting?”

Bart chuckles and sits down in the chair opposite of the blond, tangling their legs under the table out of habit. “Sort of? I’ve always done this. Growing up in Virtual Reality, I never had real people or experienced real things, like feel the breeze or smell the fresh air. I didn’t even know that I was missing those things until Grandma rescued me.”

“For a while I had the mindset of being in virtual reality. I didn’t find things dangerous cause there was always a reset button before. I took things for granted.” He chews on his lip with a furrow slowly creasing his brows. Preston reaches across and twines their fingers, squeezing his hand comfortingly with a reassuring smile.

Bart answers back with his own smaller grin, falling a little bit more for this blond idiot. “I never knew my parents, not until mom came and brought me to the future with her for that short time.”

“I remember that.” Preston recalls quietly. “You two were practically twins, I was so shocked when I met her.”

“You were also starstruck.” Bart chuckles, stroking small circles into Preston’s hand with his thumb.

“Only because I was a closet case with the biggest crush on you. I was presented with a girl version of my best friend who I was in love with, my head made weird connections.” Preston grumbles, kicking Bart’s shin under the table.

“Right.” Bart smiles fondly, nudging his foot back. “Anyways, even if I couldn’t be with her long, and I likely won’t be able to see her again, she’s.. She used to call me sunshine. Watching the sunrise is like my way of holding on to her memory.”

Thing go quiet again, companionable silence instead of the awkward interval. Preston had that calculating look in his eyes and Bart watches him think, committing every detail of his face to memory like he could lose that too.

Preston lost his mother when they were kids too, in a way, if you could consider her a mom. It wasn’t the same situation but Bart could tell that he understood. Maybe that was the reason he felt so comfortable telling this to Preston, he got it. He met Meloni, and not many people had got that chance before she had to go back to their time and ward off the evils of that world.

“Can I go with you tomorrow?” Preston finally asks, and the surprise almost threw Bart back.

“You want to watch with me?” No one’s ever done that, how would that even go? Would it be the same? Would that give it a different meaning? So many unknowns and yet all Bart could do was nod with a shy smile.

The next morning they both got up and left in total silence, still in their pyjamas. Bart carried Preston out to the cliffs, his favorite spot for watching, and they sat in the dew covered grass waiting for the sun.

“You know, I bet she looks at the sun too and thinks of you.” Preston says randomly after some time. Bart stares at him with absolute wonderment, his vision going blurry as they watered.

“Yeah.” Bart smiles, wiping at his eyes and turning his head to catch the first rays of light peeking through. He was right, watching it with someone did give it different meaning.

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Since you are not averse to dl incest ships, what do you think ShuxReiji would be like? I find their sibling dynamic so complex and interesting. While I prefer it that way I can't help but think what would it be like if it were ever to become incestuous. I feel like it would bring out the darker aspects of their personalities and totally be hella toxic and dark where they both be in a constant cycle of hurting each other.

Also huge reijiruki fan here. Your reijiruki fanfics gives me life. Pls never stop writing them. Though what do you think about CarlaxReiji? They kinda give me similar vibes as rejiruki. Not same but similar.

thank you for liking reijiruki! i'm over the moon the reijiruki agenda continues to spread because of me. as the only active reijiruki writer i feel like it's up to me to develop them as a ship and i'm fine with that.

i think with carla, unfortunately i really can't imagine him "going as low" as being with a vampire. he's got stupid pride, he's stubborn and he'd never see reiji as an equal. one of the reasons i think reiji likes ruki is because of his dry humour. reiji also has a dry humour although it's a bit different. reiji needs an initiator and carla would not be that. even if carla had a crush he'd shove it down until it "goes away"

i know azushin is a semi-acknowledged rarepair and i think the difference between shin and carla is that shin is weaker to his emotions and he is more desperate to be loved and validated. hence i think shin is more likely to be with a vampire than carla once he gets over his pride.

for the rest of this post, tagging it as // incest

shu x reiji DEFINITELY has potential to be really awful. but nevertheless, later in the games, we do see that they forgive each other. if anything, shu forgives reiji and reiji doesn't forgive himself.

despite having potential, i struggle with thinking how they'd end up together? i certainly don't think they'd be in a relationship. if anything it'd be sexual - pretty much all sakamaki / sakamaki ships would be, mainly cuz they all have a fucked up perception of love. the only actual relationship would be shu and subaru but that's for another time.

i guess reiji's biggest flaw is that he's jealous of the love shu gets. but shu doesn't want it! reiji is pretty starved for affection and if shu is the one he's jealous of, maybe that's who he'd seek it from out of self hate. like maybe as a punishment.

shu isn't a spiteful person and i don't think he'd hurt reiji out of spite. but yknow reiji does kill the only person he cared about.

if they grew up having unhealthy sex, i reckon it'd become quite a dominating think. reiji would rile shu up by insulting him and shu usually doesn't care but reiji can really rub him up the wrong way. if they got into that cycle i'm sure it'd keep going for a while.

i feel like this is a pretty crappy answer because shu x reiji seems great in theory but putting the ideas into practice is really hard for some reason.

[literatureloverx]

The Fairest One of All, our dear Snow White,

We know some of your fictional crushes. I mean, your biggest ones. But I was wondering if you could share with us all the fictional crushes you've ever had, all the ones you can remember? Is there a pattern between them? Well, there certainly is a pattern with mine. I don't know if that's a good thing though. But the real reason why I'm asking you this question is I'd like to see if maybe we have other shared favorite characters from different shows/movies/books etc. I relate to you, I feel like we are so opposite yet so similar at the same time, you are better than me at putting my thoughts into words. That probably would explain why you're my favorite blogger. Anyway, without prolonging this message any longer, please be safe and take care of yourself - keep up your great work. You’re unique and I find your passionate personality to be very inspiring.

Sincerely yours,

-🛵🌻

My dear 🛵🌻-anon, always coming up with the most thought-provoking questions… ♥️ I’m truly honoured to be your favourite blogger, thank you very much.🥺 (and you’re always welcome to share more thoughts!).

I’ll approach this chronologically, as I think it’ll give you a clearer understanding of my development over the years.

The first-ever anime crush: Zero Kiryu from Vampire Knight

I know… it’s a questionable anime/manga. But I was around 12, so bear with me, haha. I liked his seemingly cold exterior and, of course, his design. I was drawn to his inner turmoil—hating vampires with every fibre of his being while still being so deeply, pathetically in love with the vampire princess (who, by the way, I found utterly insufferable. Her stupidity was nerve-wracking, even for the 12-year-old me).

MBTI type: Definitely a Fi user. I would type him as an ISTJ, but I’m not entirely sure. It’s been way too long. *cries in 21*

Shin Se Gi from the K-drama Kill Me, Heal Me

The male lead of this drama has dissociative identity disorder, and Shin Se Gi is one of his personalities—if I’m correct, the first one to manifest. I didn’t watch this show to learn about the disorder (it was portrayed more as a supernatural phenomenon than an actual identity disorder), but purely for enjoyment because Kwak Tae-geun (Ji Seong) is an actor I deeply respect and love. I’m not sure if I would love the character as much if I watched it now, but my 14/15-year-old self certainly adored this undercover, soft-hearted bad boy. The comedic timing was spot on, and the actor perfectly brought out his charm.

MBTI type: This one is tricky. ESTP seems fitting, but I could also see him as a Fi user. I’d need to rewatch the show to conduct a proper analysis. However, ESTP makes sense, as I recall typing the core identity of the male lead as INFJ. ESTP is the subconscious counterpart of the INFJ personality type, meaning they share the same cognitive functions but in reversed order.

Lelouch Lamperouge from Code Geass

The mastermind with the goal of the greater good for humanity. Most ardently, my type. The many girlfriends aspect didn’t sit well with me, though. I believe I was around 14 here as well.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan

I was forced to watch Attack on Titan by my friends. Initially, I didn’t want to because it was so brutal, and I dislike excessive blood. However, I’m not as sensitive anymore (or at all), and AoT plays a huge role in that. Levi struck me as this beautiful man carrying more burdens than anyone should. The strongest yet the most unfortunate, sad one. He has such a big heart despite never fully showing it. He isn’t just a father figure but an incredibly dimensional character. I loved him for quite some time—it even bordered on obsession. I remember this era very clearly: I was 16, and it lasted until I was about 18.

(Seriously, his A Slap on Titan version will NEVER stop being funny to me. PAHAHAHA PURE GOLD. “Petra… please don’t cry. You’re so ugly when you cry.” “JAEGER BOMB.” “This was a great tea party… I just sat here and insulted all of you, and nobody talked back.”)

MBTI type: I think ISTP fits, as many type him that way anyway.

Isaac Foster from Angels of Death

Looking back, I realise I’ve always had a soft spot for people who are pure—not in the traditional sense, but in a spiritual and childlike way. Despite being a serial killer, he didn’t have much choice but to become who he was. He was aware of his own shortcomings, like his illiteracy, and he appreciated help, even if he didn’t express it positively or openly. He’s a deeply tragic figure, but I loved him in a pure, untainted way. I saw immense potential for him to become a good person because all the necessary traits were there. If only his chance for a better life hadn’t been taken from him… He was, and always will be, worth saving. And worth loving. I believe I was 16 or 17 at the time.

MBTI type: People type him as both an ISTP and ESTP. Where exactly is the strong Ti? I would type him as an ESFP.

Dabi (Touya Todoroki) from My Hero Academia

This might sound absurd, but I’ve cried over this man. I know he’s a fictional character, but there are real children out there like him, and it’s heartbreaking to see them failed by incompetent adults. They lose their chance at a better life. Seriously, he was just a child—what else could he have done? His desire to establish a new world order without the pretense of heroism resonated with me, though I don’t think he was entirely right. He was spot-on about some of them, like his father, for sure, but generalising wasn’t okay. The moral dilemmas that pushed and pulled the Todoroki family intrigued me. Honestly, I started reading/watching MHA solely because of him after seeing a random edit, skipping straight to his debut—lmao.

I’m not entirely sure why I liked him, but it must’ve been the saviour complex. My fixation with him lasted about a year.

MBTI type: People type him as an ISFP, but I don’t see him as a Fi-dom. He’s certainly too traumatised for accurate typing, but I’d say he’s an ISTP.

Malleus Draconia from Twisted Wonderland

The ancient dragon boy with a feverish need to connect, love, and cherish, yet also the need to isolate himself. To be alone but not lonely. I found his psyche fascinating. Knowing he’ll outlive his friends and family is heartbreaking, and it’s intriguing to see how that fact shapes him. His slow descent into madness—humming that lullaby and all—hooked me briefly when I was about 18. Maleficent is one of my favourite Disney villains, and I liked that he’s her descendant. Note: I’ve never played this game; to my knowledge, it’s not accessible in Europe.

MBTI type: Many type him as an INTJ… but where is the Te? I only see an INFJ with unhealthy Fe and obsessive Ni.

Scaramouche/Wanderer from Genshin Impact (Never played the game, lmao.)

One day, I saw a video of him on Youtube. It explained how his character was inspired by Queen’s song Bohemian Rhapsody. Naturally, it piqued my interest because it’s a song I already knew and liked. That led me down the rabbit hole—I researched his character and stumbled upon official videos where he spoke about his life, humanity, and the gods in such a deeply pessimistic and existential way. His dread and detachment intrigued me, and I couldn’t help but want to understand him better.

MBTI type: Fight me if you want, but I firmly believe he’s an unhealthy INFP. No way this man is a strong Te user.

Fyodor Dostoevsky from Bungo Stray Dogs

Hereby, as a picky eater, I solemnly swear: if my excessive, gut-wrenching crush on this man ever fades, I will eat one of the dishes I despise (though, let’s be honest, that’s never going to happen). I’ve been obsessed with him for three years now. I “met” him when I was 18, and it’s been downhill (or uphill?) ever since.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

William James Moriarty from Moriarty the Patriot

Here we are again—another man with the dream of creating a better world. In his case, he wants to build a better society and future. He’s brave, strategic, and intelligent. It goes without saying that I’m a sucker for masterminds, right? I believe I was 18 or 19 when I encountered him.

MBTI type: he could be an INFJ, but I’m not sure. I need to analyse him throughly someday.

Griffith from Berserk

I even wrote an analysis on him, which captures exactly why I find him so intriguing. His ambition, charisma, and overwhelming drive to achieve his dream fascinated me. My interest didn’t last particularly long, though—I believe I was around 19 at the time.

MBTI type: ENTJ.

Sauron/Halbrand from The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power

An ancient evil mastermind with good looks? Say less—my type through and through.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings trilogy

I wasn’t sure where to include this because, technically, I’ve known about Aragorn since childhood. I grew up with the LOTR movies since my parents loved them, but my realisation of how perfect he is only hit me recently. Honourable, brave, intelligent, and trustworthy—he is everything one could want in a man. That being said, nobody’s perfect. His moments with Eowyn? I didn’t like those. (I mean, come on, I’m basically Arwen, children.)

MBTI type: INFJ.

Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

This is another character I’ve been familiar with since childhood. I love his “fallen angel” storyline—it makes him such a tragic character. I had a crush on him even as a 9-year-old, though it was obviously just a childhood crush—nothing too serious (although none of them are serious because they’re all fictional characters, but you know what I mean). The reason he isn’t included earlier in chronological order is that, like Aragorn, I’ve known him for so long, but my moments of admiration came much later. My fascination with him would always fade after a few weeks of obsessing, only to resurface repeatedly over the years.

MBTI Type: This is by far the trickiest one. In his childhood, I might have typed him as a Te-dom, specifically an ESTJ. However, his adult version seems more like an Fi-dom to me, particularly an ISFP. The other types I considered but ultimately found didn’t fit as well were ENTJ and ESFP. Despite spending far too long analysing him, I’m still unsure about his exact type.

In conclusion:

I have noticed a clear trend in my preferences. I love pure characters with immense potential for redemption, but I’m equally drawn to unhinged masterminds who thrive on calculated corruption for the greater good. It seems complex. I probably need someone else to psychoanalyse me (you know who you are) because while I may excel at analysing others, I’m hopeless at analysing myself.