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inkformyblood · 4 years ago

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You Speak Of Grace

Commander Cody Week Day 02 Origins [ @commandercodyweek ]

Pairing: Codywan

Summary: Cody is about to meet his new Jedi, but he will make sure his men are as prepared as they can be. Little does he know that Obi-Wan is anything but what he was expecting.

“Once more.” Cody’s voice rang out as the test alarms died away, eliciting a fresh wave of groans from the assembled clones. From behind his helmet, Cody glanced over the group, running through the list in his mind once again. The heavy gloves hid the faint trembling of his hands as his fingers danced over the datapad, drawing up another scenario. “Test Scenario 00726. Oya!”

Distantly, Cody could almost hear Alpha-17’s low rumbling laugh echo forth from his memory at their displays of grumbling compliance. He carefully ignored the brother at the back — Crys, he thought, judging from the bright yellow daubed over his pauldrons and the dark hair growing up through the unnatural yellow dye — who ducked behind a console and emerged after swallowing down the last dregs of his caf.

The consoles rang shrilly as they ran through the necessary checks once more, heads lowered as the other clones focused on their own work. Cody sensed movement just behind him, but didn’t turn, watching the grey painted shape of Helix, their medic, move up behind him in the reflection of a console.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

Helix’s voice was soft but no less filled with purpose, expecting to be heard and understood. Cody was the Commander of the Battalion, but Helix was the medic, and that was something entirely different.

“Granted.”

Helix tapped the comm on his wrist, shifting to a private channel, and Cody stifled the reflexive twinge of fear that rattled down his spine. Fear was useful, Alpha-17 had barked at the younger clones in the Command Track, echoing the words of the trainers before him, but it was also dangerous. Drawing in a deep breath, letting it flow through him rather than rule his thoughts, Cody switched to the private channel as well.

“You are doing a good job,” Helix murmured, his voice slightly distorted over the comm. “You are already a good commander, and having a Jedi won’t change that.”

Cody didn’t respond, didn’t want to think about what Helix could read in the sudden stillness of his hands or the lines of tension that flickered into life along his shoulders, but merely nodded, his throat tight.

Helix lightly tapped the back of his wrist guard against Cody’s hip in a silent benediction. “I’m going to head down to medical. Over the next few days, I’ll need to check on the troopers and the Jedi to get a baseline.”

“I’ll draw up a rota,” Cody promised, adding yet another item onto his mental checklist. Dimly, he spared a thought for how his brothers in the command track were faring. Their own comms channel had been eerily quiet since they had received their battalion allocations and left in the early hours of the morning with one final message each of “Oya”.

“Appreciate it,” Helix said with an inclination of his head and stepped away. The other medics, Border and Patience, shadowed him like ghosts, barely half a step behind in a haunting unison that would have made the trainers proud.

Cody turned back to the men, tracking their progress as they worked through the machines, feeling a warm glow of pride settle in his chest. This would work. This had to work.

A warning prickled at the base of his skull, and Cody was already turning to face the doorway by the time his mind had drawn the context clues together.

As Helix left, his pace had slowed slightly, and the soft whoosh of the doors closing took longer than it should have. One of the troopers had raised his head, gaze fixed at something over Cody’s shoulder as one of his hands formed the beginning of the symbol for ‘Mother’, a warning of being watched back on Kamino. But the critical clue was the message flashing from the Command Track Chat from Bly that only read ‘oh no my Jedi’s hot.’

“Hello there.”

“Hello, sir,” Cody said, running on instinct as the rest of his mind went blissfully blank. The only information he had been given was a name and a grainy holo picture to recognise his Jedi by. A small thrill ran down his spine at that thought. Possession was still something all the clones were getting used to, and the knowledge that this man was his, was theirs, was more than Cody could have thought possible.

“Jetti on bridge,” Cody barked over his shoulder to the others, feeling the weight of their eyes on his back.

Obi-Wan smiled, the edges of his eyes — so unbelievably blue, like the point where the ocean met the sky — crinkling. “Please, Commander, call me Obi-Wan.”

“Obi-Wan,” Cody repeated with a nod, further committing it to memory. He was grateful for the helmet that was still covering his head as he felt the heat settle in his cheeks. Full armour was cumbersome for now, but it had been better to be safe than sorry.

“From what I understand, you have names as well?” Obi-Wan’s gaze darted around the room; his voice pitched low. “I don’t wish to cause any offence; this situation is very new to me.” He tucked his hands into his sleeves, clasping them in front of him.

“CC-2224 is my designation. But my name is Cody, sir.”

It was as if Cody’s words ripped the oxygen from the room, every trooper freezing in place in perfect military rest. Obi-Wan had to feel the pressure lowering onto his shoulders, but he merely grinned once more.

“Cody. That’s an excellent name and a good choice.” Obi-Wan paused, glancing around the room and meeting the gaze of every trooper who quickly lowered their heads back to their consoles at Cody’s signal.

“I trust I can count on you to keep me right, Cody? I will defer to your expertise.” Obi-Wan’s grin was as warm as sunlight, intoxicating when it was directed at just Cody, and he felt his cheeks burst with heat once more.

“Yessir,” Cody said, snapping back into parade rest out of habit.

“I’m not sure what the Kamioans have told you, but if you’re amenable, full armour outside of active combat isn’t required.” Obi-Wan paused with a heavy sigh, looking far older than he was for a moment before he pushed whatever memory it was away. “This isn’t my first war, but no need to make it harder than it needs to be.”

“So,” Cody swallowed, turning his head slightly to track Boil and Waxer’s whispering, their heads pressed together out of the corner of his eye, “Permission to dismiss the men to store their extras?”

“Permission more than granted, Commander.”

If Cody had thought that his mind went blank before, it was nothing compared to being alone on the bridge with Obi-Wan. In every scenario, every training simulation or exercise, nothing could have prepared him for this moment. Alpha-17 and the others took after Prime almost perfectly, and that applied to his lack of attraction as well, at best able to offer rough support to a heartbroken trooper in basic training.

Obi-Wan began to move around the bridge, glancing over the simulated manoeuvres that had been programmed in with a gleam of interest in his eyes. “If you want, Cody, you can store your belongings as well. We’re going to be working together for a while, and I see no reason to start out with extreme formality.”

Cody’s hands were steady as he reached up to remove his helmet, subtly pressing at the itch that had erupted two hours ago at the nape of his skull as he did so. Obi-Wan’s face softened as he watched him, unable to hide the obvious curiosity in his eyes.

“I can definitely see the resemblance.”

Cody laughed, the noise startled out of him, jaw snapping shut with a click.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he began, but Obi-Wan cut him off with a wave of his hand, his shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

“Please, don’t apologise, Cody. If there is anyone at fault, then it is me.”

“No, sir.” Cody paused to find the correct words, tapping his fingers against the edge of the datapad as he thought. This wasn’t what he had been expecting, Obi-Wan wasn’t what he had been expecting, but he always had been quick on his feet. “As you said, no reason to start out with extreme formality. No fault here.”

Obi-Wan hummed quietly as he thought, and Cody took a moment to inspect the Jedi he would be serving under. The robes hid much of his frame, but Obi-Wan had moved with confidence, despite the fact that the fabric wouldn’t give much protection or possibly act as a hindrance. Cody made another note on his mental list, needing to confer with the other Commanders once everyone had settled again.

“I think this is going to be an excellent partnership, Cody,” Obi-Wan said at last. “With that in mind, with the full reassurance that you can tell me no at any time for whatever reason, would you like to join me for a cup of tea? I believe there is some final paperwork to go over.”

“Yessir,” Cody answered before the full implication hit him. Obi-Wan would be sharing, even serving most likely, something precious of his, something he had deliberately chosen to bring aboard a battleship, knowing the cargo restrictions. “I’d be honoured.”

“Excellent! Anakin, my padawan—” Obi-Wan paused, and Cody wordlessly fell into pace at his side, a few inches shorter than the other man as he titled his head to continue watching him, “—he never quite got the taste for it, unfortunately.”

“I am looking forward to it, sir.”

Obi-Wan gave him a look, his grin all fond curled edges.

“Obi-Wan,” Cody corrected himself. He felt like a fool to hope, but it was a hope he held onto tightly.

Out of sight, Cody tapped a message into the Command Chat before silencing it, knowing the explosions it would spawn. ‘Mine’s better, vod.’

#codyweek2021 #codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #star wars #clone medic helix #my writing

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presumenothing · 3 years ago

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we’re doing it to ourselves (or so the saying goes)

(AO3)

Jiang Cheng swears up a storm and a half when he shoves open the investigation room door the next morning to find someone already there.

The red ribbon hanging long down Wei Wuxian’s back blends in so seamlessly with the red thread strung all over the murderboard that it takes slamming his hand against the wall switch to shatter the sudden imagination of his brother’s photo up there with the rest of the clues, just another person they’d failed to save from this case.

Wei Wuxian gives a hiss of half-startled annoyance, blinking from the abrupt brightness, but it frankly serves him right for standing in the dark like a burglar with only the corridor emergency lights filtering in. Had he even been able to see anything? Even demonic cultivation doesn’t give you night vision, last he checked. “Good damn morning to you too, Jiang Cheng.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you got in here,” he replies, because at least half of what he knows about breaking into places he’d learned after Wei Wuxian taught himself how to one boring rainy day in high school. “Tell me all this has nothing to do with you.”

He doesn’t specify what this is, because there’s no need to. Wei Wuxian hasn’t moved from his frozen stance in front of the board of clues, crimson lines running between the serial murders like a bloody taunt, a web Jiang Cheng has stared at long enough over the past week that the afterimage feels burned into his eyelids.

There’s nothing of Wei Wuxian’s usual brash overconfidence in the answering shake of his head. “No. I meant it when I said I’d never go vigilante again, Jiang Cheng. And I haven’t. I’ll swear it again on anything you ask.”

In a different time, Wei Wuxian would already have sworn up and down that the heavens should strike him down right then if he’d lied, but maybe that’s exactly the problem – he had already been struck down once, in almost every way that mattered, and worst of all is how it makes Jiang Cheng more inclined to believe him now.

It’s still not quite enough, though. “Swear it on Jin Ling’s life.”

He doesn’t need to see Wei Wuxian’s expression to know he’s not happy about that. Which doesn’t matter, because neither of them are; the space Jin Ling occupies among them has been almost sacred especially after they’d nearly lost Yanli-jie, but it’s also exactly why Jiang Cheng is asking him to swear on this. He can’t accept anything less.

Wei Wuxian has to know that, too, because he doesn’t argue, only says, “I swear on Jin Ling’s life that I don’t have any direct involvement with this case.”

Jiang Cheng raises an eyebrow and pointedly does not look relieved. “‘Direct’?”

“Duh.” Wei Wuxian gestures, wide and too-careless, at the grotesque web on the wall. “You’ve got a copycat killer, and a surprisingly thorough one at that. I’d be surprised if the original Yiling Patriarch isn’t tied to this somehow.”

“Careful, they might not be able to see your ego from space,” Jiang Cheng bites right back, even though he’s been thinking the same for probably about as long as Lan Wangji has, for all that they hadn’t acknowledged it aloud until the day before yesterday. “How the hell did you even find out about this?”

“Wen Qing did most of the autopsies, didn’t she?” Wei Wuxian answers, pretty much as he’d been expecting. “And before you think about going to yell at her, she didn’t actually reveal any case details to me, just that you and Lan Zhan were investigating something that I might be interested in. Also that she might snap and add one or both of you to the body count if she has to mediate even one more argument between you two.”

How Wei Wuxian’s presence could possibly do anything except exacerbate that, Jiang Cheng has no idea, but it’s not like he can afford to alienate the best medical examiner they have across all the districts. (And he doesn’t want to, either; Wen Qing’s clear expertise had single-handedly silenced all of the brass who’d had issues with hiring a Wen, but there’s never any telling what might get them started up again.)

Still. “I wouldn’t call that mediating,” Jiang Cheng mutters.

Wei Wuxian laughs, because he still doesn’t have even half an ounce of self-preservation, even against someone who could and would immobilise people with just three well-placed needles. “Speaking of which, how much longer are you gonna lurk there, Lan Zhan? I thought the Gusu bureau had a rule against eavesdropping and all.”

Jiang Cheng gets a crick in his neck from how fast he turns, and sure enough – there’s Lan Wangji stepping out of shadows that had hidden him far too well for someone in so much white. (Even after having no choice but to work this case together with him Jiang Cheng still has absolutely no fucking idea how Lan Wangji keeps his clothes spotless even at crime scenes; he’s starting to suspect it’s some kind of cultivation-related trick designed specifically for this purpose.)

“Eavesdropping would require neither of you to be aware of my presence,” he says, like that isn’t just some bit of pedantry, and inclines his head. “Wei Ying. Jiang Wanyin.”

And that’s definitely intentional, putting his name last like Jiang Cheng cares what order Lan Wangji addresses people in. Which he really, really doesn’t, especially not before inhaling at least half the thermos of coffee that always resides in his backpack in avoidance of the acidic slop from the pantry machine.

Wei Wuxian smiles at Lan Wangji, because of course he does, but it’s strangely gratifying to note that he hasn’t put any effort in making it look convincing at all. “Well, Lan Zhan – do I need to swear my innocence in this case to you too?”

“Unnecessary. I believe you,” Lan Wangji says, bearing regal like he’s some monarch issuing a decree, and Jiang Cheng snorts. How easy for him to say that when Wei Wuxian hadn’t cost his bureau and family almost everything they’d been.

It doesn’t make the back of his throat taste any less bitter when Wei Wuxian’s expression warms a little at that, but at this point Jiang Cheng doesn’t think anything ever will. “Enough chitchat,” he snaps. “The paperwork?”

Lan Wangji retrieves a folder from his briefcase and slides it over to the centre of the table wordlessly, while Jiang Cheng crosses his arms and scowls at Wei Wuxian until it sinks through his stupidly thick skull that the paperwork is for him.

The answering groan, at least, is entirely sincere. “What the hell is that for? You know I hate paperwork, Jiang Cheng, I didn’t quit over it but I very well could have.”

Yes, he’s very aware of that, seeing as their weekly paperwork grudge-match marathons from before everything had gone to hell had been held in his office. “Just read and sign the damn thing, Wei Wuxian, it’s the only bloody reason I haven’t already arrested you for breaking into bureau offices ten minutes ago.”

And that has to be enough for Wei Wuxian to already know, because bureau policy hasn’t changed that much in the years since his defection except to get more annoyingly onerous, but still he looks surprised at the contents of the contract. “A civilian consultant?”

“You have a skillset that could be invaluable to resolving this case. It would be highly remiss not to bring you on board.” Lan Wangji still looks perfectly neutral, as far as Jiang Cheng can tell, but that’s more sarcasm-free words in a row than he’s ever heard from him since the start of this investigation. Possibly since their first acquaintance with each other.

“I wouldn’t call ‘being the prime suspect’ a skillset, exactly,” Wei Wuxian mutters, which is something Jiang Cheng can definitely agree with at least. Though the only reason this is possible at all is because there’d never been an official conviction in the original Yiling case, for a whole chaos of reasons including the public uproar in support of whoever had taken down Wen Ruohan and his cronies for good, and because they already had reasonable evidence to suggest Wei Wuxian’s non-involvement in this spate of murders.

The non-suspect in question is still flicking his way through the clauses of the contract, which Jiang Cheng would feel insulted by except he’d also gone through each and every one just as closely, taken his concerns to Yanli-jie who’d taken them to Jin Zixuan until they could be sure this arrangement wouldn’t jeopardise Wei Wuxian in any way.

He reaches the last page, and from the skip of his gaze Jiang Cheng knows instinctively what Wei Wuxian has to be looking at – the grid of signatures starting with his own and Lan Wangji’s as primary investigators of the case, dated clearly to two days before this conversation had even occurred, followed by Lan Xichen’s confirmation both as Lan Wangji’s superior and because Jiang Cheng can’t very well second his own recommendation even as the Yunmeng bureau chief, and finally a space for Wei Wuxian’s chickenscratch initials.

(It’s frankly mystifying, why someone who can draw talismans that flow like the finest art has never bothered with a more elegant signature, but it’s not a mystery Jiang Cheng cares to solve. Better that than the unmistakable signatures the Yiling Patriarch had left at his scenes, at any rate; even he has had nightmares about that.)

Jiang Cheng tosses him a pen, anything to break the sudden silence, and Wei Wuxian catches it without looking but of course doesn’t get right to signing, because that would be sensible. “What is this for, then? There are easier ways to keep an eye on me. Cheaper, too.”

“The forensic evidence is scant, and the culprit has done something to keep the victims’ souls beyond my ability to communicate with,” Lan Wangji answers without further prompting, which is probably more information than they should be giving out to a not-yet-contracted civilian but Jiang Cheng’s not the one with a stick up his ass about protocol in this room and anyway Wei Wuxian had already broken in here. “An alternative method might help.”

“Last I checked, no one likes the alternative when it means resurrecting th– ah,” Wei Wuxian cuts himself off with a flick of his gaze between them, and has the gall to look amused. “So the old coots are desperate enough by now that anything goes?”

“Not anything,” Jiang Cheng grates out, just to be clear. Wei Wuxian hadn’t been wrong; the investigation methods favoured by each bureau differ even just among the four major ones, but the dislike of the way Wei Wuxian had done things since somehow escaping being taken hostage by Wen Chao had been almost universal.

(There’d been a brief period when it seemed like things might work out after all, when Wei Wuxian had demonstrated how undeniably efficient demonic cultivation could be in comparison to their regular methods – even the Gusu musical techniques couldn’t beat speaking to the victim in the flesh, as it were. But then everything had gone to hell in a massive speeding handbasket and Wei Wuxian had been most of the one who’d sent it there.

Possibly Jiang Cheng is being monumentally idiotic in not assuming this time will turn out exactly the same way, but annoyingly enough Wei Wuxian is also correct in that they need this case solved, or everything might just go to chaos anyway.)

“I’m pretty much the definition of anything, I think,” Wei Wuxian retorts, which Jiang Cheng ignores like the obvious nonsense it is. “Don’t blame me if you lot regret this.”

“Pretty sure it’s already too late for that,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, swiping the thermos out from where he’d set his backpack down.

Lan Wangji can deal with filing that paperwork, if he’s just going to stand there in stoic satisfaction. Jiang Cheng needs his damn coffee.

#mdzs #mdzs fic #fanfiction #mine #long post #once again i blatantly plagiarise richard siken for a fic title #yes this was supposed to be the sort-of-pushing daisies au but things happened #/elaborate and unbothered shrug emoji

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prettyallfriends · 4 years ago

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PriPara: Aim to Become No. 1 in the Idol☆Grand Prix: Prologue+Ch 1 English Translation

(I originally planned to translate the PriPara games after finishing the Pretty Rhythm ones, but I think I’ll try to juggle them instead! The PriPara 3DS games have a main story along with character side stories, I will do them in unlock order. Like with my other current translation, choices will be in bold, and the Player character’s name is just Player.)

Prologue

??? (Meganee): Welcome to Prism Stone! Play PriPara, where anyone can enjoy an idol debut and wear a lot of trendy coords!

Girl: Yaaaay! I made my debut as an idol! And I got a tomoticket! Woaaah, what a cute coord! Let’s snap tomotickets! Mine will be in high demand soon, because I’m definitely gonna be No. 1 in the Idol☆Grand Prix!

??? (Meganee): Everyone’s a friend! Everyone’s an idol! Will you also try going to the world of PriPara?

Choice: Of course I will! / There’s no way I could be an idol…

??? (Meganee): Nice response! Please enjoy your idol life! You’ve a really nice smile, an idol’s talent is their shining smile! What kind of idol will you end up becoming…? And what kind of fans will you make smile…? I can’t wait to see! I’ve been searching for someone like you… But before that I’ve been wondering, who are you? Looks like introductions are in order!

Meganee: My name is Akai Meganee. I help everyone with their coords. Feel free to call me Meganee! ...Huh? I’m being pushy? That’s because of the system! Hehehe. Anyway, before you go to PriPara, could you tell me a bit about yourself?

(Mychara creation)

Meganee: Thanks for telling me all that! I feel like I know you quite well now. Player-chan, it’s nice to meet you! Well then, let’s get going. Let’s go! PriPa-...

???: Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: Huh!? That siren… Meganii-san!?

Meganii: It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is Akai Meganii. I felt a woooonderful idol aura from around here… Ah, you must be the one to whom that aura belongs to.

Meganee: Player-chan is going to debut today. Maybe they’ll become popular and shine in the Idol☆Grand Prix!

Meganii: I see… They certainly have a bright smile. I heard the power of your smile say “Come over here~!” after all. Player-san, please allow me to cheer for you during your idol debut. I shall give you the power to design a My☆Cyalume Coord!

(My☆Cyalume Coord design tutorial, basically you can recolour anime character coords)

Meganii: You will undoubtedly make many people smile with the My☆Cyalume Coord that you design. Gachagachagacha~

(My☆Cyalume design time. We only have four colours available so it looks awful. Sorry Laala I ruined your coord)

Meganee: What a wonderful coord! It suits you, Player-chan!

Meganii: Nice!

Meganee: Now that you’re ready, it’s time to start your PriPa-life!

Meganii: Please try your hardest in the Idol☆Grand Prix, I’m looking forward to it.

Meganee: Player-chan will definitely win the Grand-… huh? ...You don’t have any clue what the Idol☆Grand Prix is, do you!? I completely forgot to explain! Um… Well, first of all I’ll turn on PriPara☆Music TV…

Meganii: Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: ...looks like we’re too late. Don’t worry! You’ll find out about the Grand Prix soon enough. You wanted an in-depth explanation? Sorry!

Meganii: This is also thanks to the system! Winwinwinwinwinwin…

Meganee: Anyways, Player-chan, make sure to shine your brightest in PriPara! Everyone’s a friend! Everyone’s an idol! Lets go! PriPa-life!

(End of Prologue, Meganii jumps out to explain the coord gacha but I don’t care lol. Crying though bc I got a PR and then had to delete my file because I realised I had made a translation mistake)

Grand Prix Story 1: Aim to Become the No. 1 Idol!

???: Oh no, hurry! We’re going to be beary late for PriPara☆Music TV! You have to run, Laala! Mirei and Sophy are waiting!

??? (Laala): Gotcha (Kashikoma)! I’ll do a full sprint!!! Agh-!

??? (Kuma): Ahh! You bumped into someone! Are you okay, Laala!?

??? (Laala): Owowowow… My forehead hurts… Ah! I found the person I bumped into! I’m really sorry about running into you!! You’re not hurt, are you!?

Choice: I’m fine, don’t worry! / That hurt, what are you doing!?

??? (Laala): Phew, I’m glad you’re not hurt! I’m seriously sorry! From now on I’ll look both ways! Left, clear! Right, clear! Now I can safely dash! Ah, you laughed! Wow, your smile is… Wonderful! That’s a sparkly idol smile right there!

Laala: I’m Laala, nice to meet you! And your name is…? Player-chan! Gotcha! I’ll remember that from now on! Your coord is really cute! Which brand is it?

(Laala it is literally a recolour of the coord you are wearing right now. I know you’re like 12 but Lordt)

Laala: Really!? You designed it yourself!? That’s so cool~!

Kuma: That’s unbearably amazing! This kid’s a bundle of talent! I’m sensing a lot of idol energy from you, Player!

Laala: Are you also going to be on PriPara☆Music TV, Player-chan? Ah… You don’t know what that even is?

??? (Mirei): Laala~! What are you so pri-occupied with!?

Laala: Ah, Mirei! Sorry, I’m running late!

??? (Mirei): Ughhh! Sophy’s fell asleep waiting for you!

??? (Sophy): ZzzZzz… Is Laala here yet…?

Laala: Wake up, Sophy!

??? (Sophy): Mm~ Oh, who’s this…?

Laala: This is Player-chan!

Sophy: Player-chan… Cute… I’m Sophy… Nice to meetcha… Pshu~...

Laala: Aah! Sophy, don’t fall asleep!

??? (Mirei): Will you also be making an ap-pri-rance on PriPara☆Music TV as an idol?

Laala: Player-chan doesn’t seem to know about that yet.

??? (Mirei): Huh, really? I can explain it to you, so. It’s my first time seeing you around… Is this your first time in PriPara?

Choice: I debuted today! / I’ve been coming here for a while!

??? (Mirei): You just debuted!? I see… Well, if you get along with your senpai, Mirei, your points will go up!

Sophy: Mirei… what are you mumbling about?

??? (Mirei): Ah, you’re awake!? It’s nothing!? Ahem…

Mirei: Pop, step, get you~! I, Mirei, shall tell you all about PriPara☆Music TV!

Sophy: You’re so nice, Mirei~...

Mirei: PriPara☆Music TV is the prime TV programme in PriPara!

Laala: A lot of idols are featured and they perform PriPara lives on the show!

Mirei: And when you pri-form a live, your rank rises~ They’re organised by the Best 100, Best 50, Best 30… Once you’re at your prime and reach the Best 10, you can enter the Idol☆Grand Prix!

Kuma: Your “pri” puns are unbearable…!

??? (I MISS YOU ALREADY ZUCCHAN): What’s going on? I haven’t seen that person before? Are they aiming for the Idol☆Grand Prix?

Laala: Ah, Dorothy! I’ll introduce you to Player-chan.

??? (I WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS ZUCCHAN): Tension max!

??? (Reona): Relax~

Dorothy: I’m Dorothy West! And this is…

Reona: Reona West. It’s nice to meet you.

Dorothy: Ooh, if you’re aiming for the Idol☆Grand Prix, that makes you our rival, huh? Sion, you think so too, right?

??? (Sion): Indubitably! Rivals are vital to idols! They encourage us to work hard! When our friends encourage us, we can all work harder!

Sion: Player! I’m Sion! We’re going to get along great!!

Kuma: Dorothy, Reona and Sion make up the team Dressing Pafé!

Sophy: Laala, Mirei and I are Solami♡Smile~

Dorothy: The number of idols wanting to join the Idol☆Grand Prix is rising every day, huh? We’re going to have to work even harder! Right, Reona?

Reona: If you say so, Dorothy.

Laala: Let’s all do our best!

Sion: Ah! Is that…?

Mirei: Who is it?

??? (Aroma): Staaaaaare…

Laala: That’s…

??? (Aroma): Staaaaaaaare…

??? (Mikan): Staaaaaaare~!

Laala: Aroma, Mikan! Come over here~!

Mirei: How long were they pri-occupied with staring at us…

Aroma: My name is Aroma! I am a devil who hath returneth from the darkness!

Mikan: I’m the angel! Mikan! I use my angelic power to grant peace in this world!

Kuma: Those two are Aromageddon! Their gimmick is that they’re an angel and a devil!

Aroma: Gimmick!? Thou filthy pile of cotton… You shall face the power of darkness!

Kuma: Eek! I can’t bear your curses!

Aroma: Thou art Player, correct? I see… Darkness emanates from you. Join me and with the power of darkness we shall conquer this pitiful world!

Mikan: Aroma says she hopes you’ll be friends with her, Player-chan!

Aroma: Ah! Th-that is balderdash! I just felt Player’s darkness and…

Laala: Ahaha! Everyone’s really interested in you, Player-chan! Hm? I can hear a song from somewhere…

???: Ranranrararanranran~

Laala: Ah! It’s coming from up in that tree!

???: Let’s sing together, little birdie~ Teehee, the wind from the Palps is singing too~

Laala: Fuwari! That’s dangerous, get down from there!

Fuwari: I’m oka~y! I’m Fuwari, I’m an idol from Europara! Sing with me~ Ranranrararanranran~

Mirei: She’s really laid-back, huh…

Laala: Well, that’s Fuwari for you! There really are a tonne of idols here, though! And we introduced everyone to Player~! Hey, Player-chan… why don’t you come on PriPara☆Music TV with me!?

Kuma: That’s a good idea! They could appear in the special debut corner!

Sion: That’s the part of the show where recently debuted idols are featured, right?

Mirei: Anyone can enter, so it’s a prime corner!

Laala: Player-chan will definitely be super popular!

Sophy: I think so too~

Mirei: Let’s go then! It’s almost the entry deadline.

Sion: We must hurry! ...Hm? What’s wrong, Player?

Dorothy: Why are you just standing there??

Reona: Player-chan… is that person your friend?

Mikan: It looks like someone’s staring at Player-chan’s coord!

Aroma: Who could this person be!?

??? (Da Vinky): Your coord is wooonderfully wonderful! Did you draw it out yourself? Amazingamazing! This is… an explosion of art! Gyahahahaha!

Dorothy: You scared us! It was just Ajimi-

Ajimi: That’s right! I’m Ajimi! I hope we get cray-on well!

Laala: I’ll introduce you to Ajimi-chan! Ajimi-chan recently debuted too! She’s a super talented pop idol!

Reona: Hey… If we don’t hurry, the entry period for Music TV will be over…

Laala: Oh nooo! We have to hurry!

Ajimi: Huh, huh? You’re going to do a PriPara live in that coord~?

Choice: Yup, I’ll give it a try anyway! / I’m not sure I’m ready yet…

Ajimi: Gyahaha! That’s the spirit! I can feel it, I can feel it! Your sparkling aura’s gonna explode on stage!

Laala: I also can’t wait to see your live!

Mirei: This is your touching off point!

Sophy: I’ll be cheering for you~... Lets PriPara~

Laala: Let’s get you into the special debut corner! PriPara☆Music TV… On air start!

(Live. Finally a break from this chapter. Oh my god is it killing me.)

Laala: Woah! Look, Player-chan! Your rank went way up!

Ajimi: Your live was super explosive! Everyone loved it!

Mirei: Your debut was a pri-tty huge success!

Sophy: ‘Grats~ Your live was wonderful~...

Sion: That live was a once in a lifetime experience! Today was the birth of an idol whose growth we can look forward to!

Dorothy: Are you really gonna go for the Idol☆Grand Prix??

Reona: If you work hard, you really could become No. 1~

Sion: Why not try to climb the ranks of PriPara☆Music TV?

Reona: Once you’re in the Best 10, you can enter the Grand Prix.

Fuwari: Entering the Grand Prix is very idol’s dream~ And if you win, you get the legendary coord…

Mikan: ...the Idol☆Grand Prix No. 1 Coord!It’s a wonderful coord!

Mirei: The name’s… descriptive…

Ajimi: The Idol☆Grand Prix No. 1 Coord…? Hmhmhmhm!? What is that coord?

Aroma: It is a coord that unlocks the power of darkness within you…

Dorothy: That’s complete bullshit, the No. 1 idol who gets the Grand Prix coord…

Reona: ...can appear on many stages!

Laala: If they can do that, they’d get a tonne of fans who they could make smile! That’s wonderful! That’s why us idols are working so hard to get that coord! Player-chan, work hard along with the rest of us, okay?

Ajimi: Oooh, that’s great! A huge explosion of smiles!!! I’ll also enter the Grand Prix with Player! Let’s Gaugin!

Sion: The path to the Grand Prix is not an easy one.

Laala: First of all, you’ll have to be in a lot of TV shows. Player-chan, Ajimi-chan, enjoy PriPra-life! Oh, actually, wait a sec. To mark our friendship going forward… let’s snap tomotickets! I wish that we’re all able to enter the Grand Prix… snap! Let’s do our best together!

(oh my god i thought that would take like 10 minutes. It probably took upwards of an HOUR why was it that longggg jesussss

ANYWAY once again i will subtly hint that if anyone needs help sourcing this game or just needs help navigating menus, hmu. and i would like to apologise for changing kashikoma... it truly pains me to betray laala like this. also if this ISNT the first pripara 3ds game um. please let me know lmao. also yes i am posting this at 6am)

#pripara #pripara 3ds #pripara translation #pretty series #migpn1

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babyspacebatclone · 4 years ago

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Regarding the entire “SPoP is just a kids’ show! Stop trying to apply logic (analysis of the “war” aspect) or find deeper meaning (accusations of ableism and unfortunate fantasy racial implications).”

There are two problems SPoP is facing against “it’s just a kids’ show. One is not necessarily its fault, although it seems they leaned into it pretty heavily and so are not completely free of it. The second is entirely on the show.

The first is the context of which She Ra was released - basically, in a post Avatar the Last Airbender world, and to a lesser extent following shows such as MLP:FiM and Gravity Falls. Of course, Western cartoons with in-depth mythologies and teased elements existed before AtLA (Gargoyles comes immediately to mind), but AtLA definitely changed the game about what could not only be shown/stated in a Y-7 cartoon (death if an entire people explicitly stated in the first few episodes to bring home the point) but also what could be talked about (effects of child abuse with Zuko and Azula being prominent). It spanned three seasons, with novels worth of backstory.

Suddenly, a Western cartoon didn’t have to be “just a kids’ show.” It’s not fair to expect every show to live up to that, but now it has been proven to be possible.

Did She Ra ever promise in marketing to be the next AtLA? I have no idea, being completely ignorant of anything during the run, but I also doubt it. Did at least marketing hope to ride on the coattails of “myth arc” style cartoons, drawing in more viewers? Undoubtedly. It’s a nostalgic property, emphasizing modern concerns (women’s power, LGBT+) and streamed through a mainstream service. Of course they’d want to fill their numbers with older viewers hoping for the next big story.

So, it’s not fair to put the expectation of being the next AtLA on SPoP going in, but it’s also to be expected that the fans would want it.

But what about the series itself? What did the show promise?

Unfortunately, I believe the show set up more than it could deliver here, and that is on the show runners and any execs that axed anything that might potentially have improved the situation (although from the sounds of show runners meta, I don’t know how much this contributed).

What did the show do to tease fans with complex myth arcs? Obviously, it doled out information on a “need to know” basis, leaving room for speculation and theorization. Scorpia being a princess and what that would mean about the Black Garnet, for example, is a perfect set up for this. The use of First One’s writing might have been initially been intended as an insider joke, the translations said to be released for “marketing,” but they still went forwards and then incorportated key phrases that would require fan translation - feeding more interest in searching for more clues. And finally, it paid off with some big foreshadowed twists, specifically Lighht Hope’s ulterior programming and the truth about the Heart of Etheria.

You can’t leave cryptic messages the fans can translate, twist our perspective of the “Benevolent Forerunner Race,” and then claim the fans are reading too far into things. You can claim the fans are going further than you intended, but you started them on this path.

And how do we know there’s disappointing, unresolved ends to these paths, and not more backstory like explored in the AtLA comics? The Crew Ra admitted it.

At first, when I heard that some of the Crew Ra had “headcanon” about Imp’s origins - that he was an attempt by Hordak to clone himself a stable body hybridized with Etherian animal DNA - it seemed cool. It made the Crew human, fans like us.

But how much harder would it have been to make it canon? Animals on Beast Island were apparently designed specifically to imply this missing link to Imp, and appear in the show; why can’t this then just be written into the show bible, a canon background that just isn’t said aloud in the show.

The most obvious answer, and the only reasonable one without further evidence, is that the people in control of the show bible just didn’t care. Didn’t care about what Imp was, other than a character from the previous She Ra. Didn’t care who Frosta’s parents were, or why she’s been ruling since 8. Didn’t care what actually happened with the Scorpian Kindgom when Hordak “overthrew” it, because that detail mattered less to them than the fact that Angella describes her husband’s (falsely assumed) death was one of Hordak’s “first victims.”

So the fans shouldn’t care, either, right?

No. The show runners can’t have it both ways. They can’t present the show as deep (question the facts you were raised with, because they may be biased by cruel predecessors!) and relevant (people should be allowed to be openly homosexual and nonbinary) and then only accept discussion on points they themselves raised.

Especially since many of the questions I hear asked without answer have been raised, towards others, within the show itself:

What measure is a victim? (Catra is a victim of Shadow Weaver’s abuse, Frosta twice questions the ethics of attacking Etherians, both Horde and chipped, but Prime’s clones are faceless mooks?)

What measure is acceptance? (Why are all but one of the princesses all-but-human looking, including the half-angel Glimmer, on a world of beast people? Why not explicitly condone literal physical abuse of a person [Entrapta, hair pulling and leashing] by her supposed friends for being “different” if we’re supposed to openly accept divergent sexualities? Neurodivergence doesn’t measure up to gender divergence?)

What measure is redemption?

SPoP started these discussions. It might not be fair to hold it to the same standard as AtLA for depth, but the show runners are the ones that copied elements of its formula to tell their story.

It’s not a serious war drama the way AtLA is. But how much effort could it have taken the show runners to at least look into more of their own questions, especially when others on the crew imply on social media they were asking for the same?

Note: Links will be added in a follow-up post; I’m on mobile, so it will take a bit to compile them. I’m aiming for tomorrow. If anyone who can have multiple windows open can send me direct links to relevant Tweets or at least screenshots I know I’ve seen here on Tumblr, that would be appreciated!

#meta analysis #they started the discussion #we have a right to continue it #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #atla

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gem-rewatch · 6 years ago

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SU rewatch- S1E8- Serious Steven

It’s this point of this season (both this ep and the last) where the characters, humor, and overall tone of the show first starts to truly mesh, I think, giving us a representative human-focused story and Gem-focused story.

This episode in particular is actually a personal favorite of mine, too- I always love the way the writers/board artists structured it, hinting towards the flashback sequence early on and then later returning to that thread to influence Steven’s outlook and decisions of current events. Starting with an out-of-context glimpse at Steven’s Funland disaster immediately acts as a curiosity hook to the audience and establishes his internal desperation to get this mission right.

Steven, probably: “Welp, I’m grounded!”

But on a more serious note, the context we learn later in the episode about what happened here is a prime example of Steven’s lack of focus on the consequences of his actions. He’s still very young, after all- only twelve. And like most twelve year olds, he’s more concerned with how he can have fun in the present than how his decisions will affect the future. It’s only to be expected.

Pearl: (about his ukulele) “Why did you bring that?” Steven: “I don’t know! I was excited, and it’s mine, and I like it!”

This episode, however, is where this kid makes his first steps towards maturity. Towards thinking before he acts. Towards letting his past inform his present. In my opinion, this is where his coming of age truly begins.

Initially, just like the teacup incident, Steven seems to have chronic unwise decision disease- he’s far more preoccupied in keeping his belongings safe or running away from bugs, etc etc. He’s distractible, and it’s to the point where Pearl’s genuinely questioning his safety on this mission. After all, this is the first time they’re bringing him on a mission that involved legitimate stakes and danger- the Sea Spire doesn’t count, because they took him there as a test. Garnet advocates for him, though. She probably has been catching faint glimpses of the future, of a Steven who’s more well rounded, more focused- and gets the sense that whatever happens today will lead him towards this.

We gain our first glimpse of the Strawberry Battlefield! One of the most stunning locations in the show. It’s highly suggested that this is the first time they’ve returned to this place since the war.

Pearl: “Unbelievable! This was one a Gem battlefield. Now it’s wild strawberries as far as the eye can see! Oh, that’s what I love about the Earth.”

We’re also treated to our first major dose of Gem history, through the murals inside the inverted pyramid.

Both the new Great Diamond Authority symbol seem on the floor (the three clustered triangles design) and the subject matter of these murals suggest that this pyramid was constructed at some point during the height of the war, just after Pink Diamond was “shattered.” It’s to be assumed this structure was then intended as a death trap for rebel Gems.

These images laud White Diamond as Gemkind’s savior, with hands outreached towards her in celebration and worship. There’s an image of Rose Quartz and her army facing White- perhaps holding out Pink’s gemstone as if taunting her- but White is depicted in the more powerful stance in this mural, attacking in retaliation. Below are small glimpses of the trials our Crystal Gems face later in the episode. None of the little mural people survive in these, a hint of the danger to come

Overall, what we’re seeing here is Homeworld war propaganda.

Steven may not have fallen gracefully, but he’s pretty dang durable for making a belly flop onto solid stone like that and walking away. As many people have pointed out, this sequence is paralleled in Change Your Mind but with Steven lightly floating to the ground, representative of him both growing into his powers and confidence in himself.

I just think this screenshot is hilarious- Pearl’s carrying him under her arm like a dang briefcase! Helicopter mom alert.

Pearl: “But this could be the teacups all over again...” Steven: “Hey! I’ve put that behind me.”

The thing is, he hasn’t. I get the sense that internally, behind all the hammy goofs and his guise of confidence, he’s incredibly, self-consciously aware of the fact that this mission is imperative to his future as a Crystal Gem. It’s redemption for his first screw up, for his mistake at Funland. If he messes this up too, there’s every possibility that the Gems might not let him go on missions for a while longer, and that’s the last thing Steven wants. He looks up to these three so much and he wants to spend time with them, wants to learn more about this part of his heritage, wants to be like them.

A large part of Steven’s coming of age is also rooted in his realization that these missions aren’t just “fun times.”

Steven: “Woo-ho! That was, uh- seriously dangerous.”

Up until now, I don’t think it’s fully hit him exactly how life-and-death Gem missions have the potential of being for him yet. As the others are saying, he legitimately needs to take this more seriously- for his own safety.

Garnet: “But be careful. You might trigger a trap with that gun show.”

Garnet, I love you.

Steven: “Maybe there’s a clue hidden in these ancient drawings.”

SU theorists be like...

No, but actually though- that’s kinda a clever way to blatantly hint to the kiddos watching this show that they should pay attention to what’s carved into the walls.

Even if this idea kinda backfires for Steven, it was at least a good idea!

Of course Amethyst can sleep on spiny teacup rides. And Pearl, what- what are you even doing. You’re not even- god, Pearl, what did you think this teacup ride was FOR?

Steven: “I think I need to get off this ride now-” (heckin... just... jumps off the teacup while it’s suspended in midair.)

Me internally: “YOU FRICKIN FRICKS! WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE-!! THAT YOUR ACTIONS! HAVE CONSEQUENCES!”

See, his issue here is that he only thinks as far as he can see- how can he solve his current problem? A whole lot of his personal growth is learning how his actions have ramifications, and beginning to recognize what those might be.

Garnet: “It’s okay.” Steven: “No! No, it’s not! You were all right about me. I wanted to do this so bad, but now I feel like I’m gonna throw up. This is just like the teacups!”

Despite his distractibility, one of Steven’s greatest strengths has always been his unique perspective. No Gem would ever notice what’s wrong with this pyramid because no Gem would get motion sick. But since he’s half human he’s able to feel its effects. Subtle but clever.

I can’t believe Pearl Gemsplained Steven.

Steven: Garnet, I need to get off the ride now!”

He’s taking a moment to warn her of what he plans on doing. Which means he’s also spent time considering his action’s possible consequences- for the first time, he’s taking the risk seriously! My little baby’s growin’ up! ;D;

This lil pyramid on top looks exactly like an artistic depiction of White Diamond. It’s spooky.

This whole scene is beautiful. What good, more-fluid-than-usual animation. The lighting in it is so cool aaaaaa :DD

Pearl: “I’d say you handled that adventure very well.”

AAAAA LOOK AT HIM, HIS FIRST RETRIEVED GEM ARTIFACT ON A MISSION!!! Well done you funky lil’ kiddo, you did it!

*wipes away tear* They grow up so fast...

#su #steven universe #su meta #serious steven #garnet #pearl #amethyst #jen rewatches su

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planet-bryyo · 6 years ago

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What do you think a Metroid Horror game would be like?

Sorry it took me a while to answer! Now I'm not an expert at game design and I have pretty much no experience in pure horror games, but I can throw out some general ideas that someone with more experience could probably refine or refute.

Metroid already has spooky and unsettling elements, to make a horror game I suppose you would have to over-exaggerate those aspects- claustrophobia, underground darkness, monsters thirty times your size- and downplay one of the biggest factors that makes the Metroid games as they are less horrific: Samus Aran's sheer awesomeness.

You know what might be a good concept for a horror game? The Federation Trooper game idea that was floating around for years before Federation Force kinda killed everyone's dreams. Because in that scenario you could play into the Metroid lore without having Samus Aran, vaniquisher of all evil monsters, actually on scene. I think that might be a good first step in making the game scarier for the player. As a protagonist, you really are vulnerable then.

One of the big reasons why Fusion is so scary is because the SA-X IS the most powerful Samus on the scene, because Samus is the embodiment of all that is strong and durable in the universe and that carries over to the SA-X when the real Samus is at her weakest. Even then, she regains enough strength to combat it, but until the end it remains scary because Adam never tells you "okay, you're 100% ready to kill this thing." You feel like you're at a permanent disadvantage, even if you are technically strong enough to beat it by the end.

Strip away the armour. Strip away the beams. Perhaps keep to traditional Metroidvania aspects- like the ability to get bigger, better items and build up to reaching new places and new items, but make sure that even in late stages, the environment is dangerous and scary to traverse. Don't ever hit that point that Samus does, where she's got the best suit and plasma beam and is suddenly superpowered. It's an awesome point, but for this hypothetical game, you don't necessarily ever want to reach that, or else the fear is diminished (something that could carry over with the player even if they restart. Like Guardians in Breath of the Wild, they're TERRIFYING but once you get strong enough to shrug them off you'll be prancing through Hyrule Field without a care in the world.)

As compromise, maybe actually cut down on the number of creatures, or make the common creatures easy to kill by the endgame. But make sure there's plenty enough creatures and other environmental features that are tough and dangerous, and require you to carefully navigate around if you want to avoid or destroy them. I say creatures, maybe have non-living environmental elements too, like flooding caves or rising and falling acid pits which will kill you if you don't time your movement through the cave right. Maybe you get some kind of armour that lets you move through acid safely, only to find that there are monsters hiding INSIDE the acid, and they aren't easy to see or kill down there.

Have cool environments like Metroid Prime, but emphasise places with unsettling undertones- sorta like Phazon Mines. Dark and bioluminescent is a cool way to go to create that vibe, but have some variety for the sake of not being generic and boring (or too dark- there's a fine line between atmospheric darkness and "I can't see what the fuck I'm doing and I'm not having fun". A lot of movies are guilty of sitting on the wrong side of this line.)

And have some safe, beautiful spots. The occasional visual spectacle to lull the player into a false sense of security, or give them a genuine safe room to recover after particularly intense parts of the game. Want to make things scarier? Start destroying these safe spots as you progress towards the endgame. The safe tunnel between areas A and B with the cute worms is now deadly because those worms grew up and turned into death bees. You come back to a save station after getting a nearby item upgrade, only to find it smashed up by some unknown entity you've unleashed (drawing both of these ideas heavily from Fusion, with the likes of the Kihunters, the Nightmare, and B.O.X.)

Metroids themselves would make for unsettling enemies, with their mobility and the speed at which they can drain you- sometimes faster than your brain can process what's happening in order to remove them. More dangerous still if you're not Samus Aran and you have poor armour and hardly any energy tanks. Perhaps late stage Metroids could virtually insta-kill players who haven't collected energy tanks, making them incredibly dangerous. Have visual and audio clues to their presence- like that Metroid gunk in the background of Metroid battle rooms in Samus Returns, down a corridor you know you can't avoid forever. Or Metroid chirps echoing along a very, very dark tunnel, and you aren't sure where they're coming from, but you know they're coming.

Pirates could also make for good opponents, because of their intelligence and cooperation- perhaps have them interact around you, have a sense that your motions are under surveillance if you aren't extremely careful, and that Pirates will tactically approach your presence. It adds a layer of tension if you feel like you're up against an intelligent force that will hinder your efforts and just shoot you dead on sight if you aren't in top form, either able to sneak around them efficiently or REALLY quick and good at shooting back.

Don't over-use blood and gore. Avoid it altogether if you can. Gore is just... gorey. Instead, use dust. Some of the most haunting scenes in the Metroid franchise use dried-out, drained husks. Make them your horror pieces instead of rotting corpses. You get dust in front of your visor, you look up, and there's the dried, grey shape of your former colleague. The legs are in the process of breaking away with the slight breeze passing through the tunnel, causing them to fall in front of your visor gradually. You wonder how a Metroid managed to attach them to the ceiling- just what ARE these things metamorphosing into?

I'm not sure if I can come up with much more than this right now, but those are just a few ideas. Like I said, I'm not familiar with the horror genre for the most part.

#Metroid #Long post #happys hall of horrible things #Ask

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siramay-the-showgun-dragon · 6 years ago

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Demencia Theory- Not What She Seems

hello my villainous fans and random scrollers by I am from the villainous amino and I am about to show you a theory made by my friend M. with the help of me and a few others to show you a side of dementia you do not seem to see, so before I show it heres a link to M’s original theory on amino:https://aminoapps.com/c/villainous-4971691/page/blog/demencia-theory-not-what-she-seems/8BWv_8mvCmujakwpQx6kxLZvbMaxp5L6LbghR now lets begin

Oh, Demencia, you childish, hyperactive ball of enthusiasm!

With your evil chaotic-ness and your enchanted feelings for your boss, how could you ever be more than the silly thing that meets the eye?

We could think of a few ways.

The following theory is brought to you by the amazing minds from the Villainous Theory Chat! Those that were involved with this theory include: Notdepresso, Siramay (hey that's me :D), Snivy, and Lynxi!

(And me but eh)

I'm almost tempted to say "forget about all of the other theories about Demencia you may have heard of before" because, this. is. insane.

We Villainous theorists believe that Demencia is....

A Podemos Bailar agent.

Y'all:

Now before you start shaking your heads, hear us out.

Yes, she acts like she has an evil agenda.

Yes, she's the practical personification of chaos.

Yes, she's absolutely head over heels for Black Hat

And yes, she's just so darn silly and maybe even annoying to some.

And doesn't she play it off so well?

Demencia is always at the max with all of these qualities and they never waver.

Her imperfections are too... Perfect.

But oh, is it an amazing disguise.

Who could possibly realize they're being fooled when they are too busy laughing at the fool?

As we all know, Demencia annoys and bothers both Black Hat and Flug with her obsessive and destructive qualities, to the point where they try to avoid her at all costs. Notice how it's always Demencia who approaches them and that it's never the other way around unless the two are absolutely forced to?

The woman has a ridiculous amount of free time to herself; finding the time to teach a bear and a handful of robots a song, destroy thousands of dollars worth of products, draw her Demencia Tips, attempt to romance Black Hat, make puppets, learn guitar, etc.

With all that free time and privacy... Who really knows what Demencia can and will do?

This disguise, this face she has made for herself is perfect. She is free to stalk her subjects right in front of them and not be questioned for it except for the occasional, exasperated "what does sHE THINK SHE'S DOING!?"

And this is just the minimal tip of the iceberg.

There's so much more.

Demencia's bizzare behavior truly doesn't raise any real questions because everyone within the manor is so used to it that something as odd as messing with a computer to creating your own "advertising" short without anyone's knowledge to it is seen as Demencia being Demencia.

This lizard lady could do almost anything without ever being truly interrogated for it.

She has trained her prey to not be scared of her as she walks right up to it.

Another thing to note about Demencia's behavior is her job at Black Hat Organization. As stated by Flug in the Anniversary short, Demencia handles all hero extermination. This, however, is only to his knowledge. We have no evidence other than Flug's word and a possibly staged picture to prove this. We've yet to find anything stating that a hero has died at any particular time.

In fact, we dont even know if this is really Heavy Punch's cape from the Evil Conquest episode.

cape?

Bish W H E R E ?

(And don't try to tell us it's because it's a kids show, Gravity Falls, a DISNEY production, managed to sweep in 2 paragraphs full of hidden jokes within the same screen pan without drawing too much attention from the younger audience) (besides that there are to many dark and demonic jokes in villainous for that to be a reason also just look at the episodes on mojo jojo and rob) ((this bold is me))

But this all pales in comparison to what's truly incriminating about Demencia, and the answer is found buried within this fandom's favorite bookmarked tab: Podemos Bailar.

Now, I made a post the other day about what we discovered is going on in that right side scrolling of commands on the website: http://aminoapps.com/p/56jwha

What we discovered is that two people are interacting over that animation loop. One person is telling another how to decode a specific piece of an audio file in order to get a message while the other is actually inputting the commands to do just that.

We can firmly assume that these two are our last two dancing agents.

Now how does this tie in with Demencia? Well, it has already been established that Demencia knows how to create her own codes and sneak them into BHO's production videos as we see happen in the very first short, The Perception of Evil, in which a code flashes on screen saying "Demencia Was Here".

Funny enough, a short was released a few months back called "Demencia Wuz Here". And my what a controversial short this one is if you see it like we do.

Let's break it down:

So Demencia left a hidden code for someone to decipher that referenced an advertisement short that didn't even exist yet. This means that the short was a premeditated thing and not just something done at the spur of the moment for some pickles.

What's also good to note is that there was no reference to King Wazuq's Glove before ((well like that one end frame but nothing else in like actual videos that what I think he meant)) this episode and the outer Demencia doesn't appear to be the type to search for information that deeply for something she wouldn't even know she'd need months before hand.

Unless... The heist was staged.

What we also see in this short is Demencia being able to hack into The Defence Departments, high security, Area 52 cameras in order to capture her stealing the glove. A very difficult task I'd imagine for an empty-headed lizard girl. But... She really hasn't proven herself to be all that has she?

Another thing to note is that Demencia created this entire short on her own. 505, Flug, nor Black Hat knew of this until they walked in on her but, once again, do nothing to stop her. It's just Demencia being Demencia.

Also, have any of you noticed that Demencia is the only character in Villainous so far that labels herself as an agent?

Oh, but this only goes deeper.

Not only is Demencia a Podemos Bailar agent, and not only is she working as an undercover agent amongst villains, she is also the agent telling the other what commands to input on the Podemos Bailar website.

She is telling her true co-worker exactly what to do to find a code she has hidden especially for him in her "advertisement" short.

But how can we be so sure that it's her?

How can we be so sure that it's that video specifically?

Because, if you click and drag the I See All picture into the Google search bar, you will find a link to the website's assets page. With that page are a series of links to different parts of the site. One of those links holds the exact audio file from the "Demencia Wuz Here" short...and it is the only short there.

The short Demencia made without anyone's knowing.

The short that she aquired impossible information for.

And the short she specifically designed and planned from episode one to reach out to her last comrade for and betray her villainous coworkers.

I mean, just look at her body type and compare it to the yet-to-be-found female Podemos Bailar agent! They're a practical match, thick ((EXTRA THICC note I hate using that word)) legs and all! And there is no way that giant next to her is Flug!

Also, another thing to consider is, if neither of these last two agents are on the villainous scene, then how have they been aquiring photos from within the manor? Flug's notes about 505's creation and the picture of the organization's plans to go to Japan are prime examples!

(another thing about that japan plan pic is that in the same episode it was released with we can see dementia reading that EXSACT same magazine that's in the picture! the clues are hiding in plane sight and no one is any the wiser!)

The evidence is stacking here people, and we the Villainous Theory Chat truly believe that it's only going to become more suspicious as time goes on.

This also means that there is a secret audio code that we need to find in the "Demencia Wuz Here" video. All we need to do is follow the steps she's given us on the site in order to find it.

There is a spy among us and she is clothed in green. (A sheep in lizards clothing)

I hope you enjoyed reading our idea!

Happy Villainy!

and that's his theory he has others to I might post here but if you like this then go to the villinos amino and join are theory chat! and if you are against this theroy tell me why and we at the theory chat will try to debunk you debunking this unless your right BUT YOU GOT TO OPEN YOUR EYES DEMENTIA IS NOT WHAT SHE SEEMS, SPREAD THE WORD or not black hat might be listening and we don't want to blow her cover! but I would like to see more talk about this

so I'm siramay and remember keep claim and drag-on

#dementia #demencia #villainous #villainous demencia #villainous dementia #M #siramay #siramay the showgun dragon #men without hats #Podemos bilar #Podemos Bailar #villainous theroy #theroy #cartoon network #cartoon network LA #theories #villainous theory chat #secret agents #someone write fanfiction for this

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remindme2breathe · 4 years ago

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Inspired and alone

I just wrote a recent entry about how I made my money. In that I mentioned a patient who inspired me. It’s been a few hours since I posted that and could not stop thinking about this notorious patient... I gotta get it out... I gotta just tell it!

We will call him Amazon (it’s the first word I saw when I looked up, sorry, I’ll try and be more creative next time). Amazon was about 82 when he landed a spot in my unit of the hospital I worked for. I’ll admit that when I first met him I didn’t think he was any more special then the 60 year old in the next room, to me, a patient was just that: a patient! The hospital I worked at has a wing for the Wealthy, I didn’t work that wing, I worked the ER right next to it. While I saw the druggies, drunks, rape victims and stabbings (the list goes on), just on the other side of the wall lived a land where the patience laid on temperpedic mattresses, had one nurse for every two patients (while in ER you take on about 6-10 depending on who’s scheduled). Everything was different, it was like coming out of a high end store and walking right into the hood! Literally, that’s how different it was. While our waiting rooms had wait times of up to 3 to 4 hours, that wing had a special phone line for these wealthy members to call and announce their arrival, at which point the linens were placed, bed available (not shared), a fruit basket for their guest to enjoy while waiting in their own private living room. Their menu was ridiculous too, ‘ridiculous’ when you compare it to the soupy salt less mashed potatoes, stale graham crackers and watered down orange juice. That wing had dinner options for the guests (up to 2), salmon, some type of roast or something else. Their water came in bottles and water glasses. The patients had to survive on a better quality diet that it typically suggested by the attending Doctor. Their were several perks to being in that wing, one being the awesome accommodations, the second, YOU WAIT FOR NO ONE. There is a Doctor available. Can’t find yours? THEY WILL FIND HIM AND BRING HIM TO YOUR ROOM. On that floor, it was said, that when a Doctor has his patient in that wing, they do not leave (they stay in a designated resting suite) because they have 10 minutes to report. This comes with a hefty membership cost. Back then (2015) I believe I heard someone say it was upwards of a 150K ‘’donation’’. Today I KNOW FOR SURE THAT DONATION IS A LOT HIGHER.

I had a friend who worked in that wing, she always complained about how BOUJEE her patients are or how demanding their guests are, I just smiled and listened. I kinda knew the feeling but had no desire to fuel her opinions, we all had problems with patients, but this is what we signed up for! While I was standing in her nurses station I noticed how many nurses would go to lunch at the same time, I was shocked. The ER was permitted one at a time, if the day was slow (which hardly happened) you’d be lucky not to eat alone. While I stood there I was noticing other tiny differences. For instance, they don’t have crash carts near by, they don’t have many assistants, in fact I think they had way more records people on the floor then actual nursing staff. As luck would have it someone started Coding. Apparently this didn’t happen often as I looked at my friend and she looked lost, as though she had no clue what to do! I yelled at her to call ER for a crash cart and to call the MD on call. I bolted to the patience room and immediately started my ER shift. Thankfully the patient pulled through and this brought great attention to the response time. Can you believe that floors director had the gull to yell at me for responding! Because it wasn’t my floor! OMG, the nerve! Needless to say she was fired for that among other things, but that’s neither here nor there. Directly across the hall was patient by the name Prime, first name Amazon (I know, I know! Next time, I PROMISE I’LL TRY HARDER!) who would one day turn into my best friend.

A few days after that happened I was given an award via the hospital for my quick thinking and whatever else they wrote on it. With that came a gift basket and a sealed envelope. I thought it was quite amusing when they said the envelope is from a patient of the hospital and they were under strict orders not to open it. They suggested playfully for me to read it out loud, to which I kindly declined. On my lunch hour I sat in my car and opened the envelope. Inside was a $25.00 gift card to starbucks <3 and a short handwritten letter from the Prime Family. They said they watched the whole event and were incredibly impressed with my quick response and ability to help. They admitted that although they do not know the family of the man who Coded, that Mrs Prime took it upon herself to let them know who saved their family member. I’ve been told that Mrs. Prime also ripped the hospital a ‘new one’ for its lack of education for the staff- I never bothered to see how that turned out. They left their phone number and ask that I call it because they had some questions for me. Of course that struck a curiosity. What could these people possibly need to ask ME? I waited a few days (no one wants to seem desperate), and oddly enough when the day came, I felt nervous.

When I called it rang exactly 5 times when a cheerful voice answered ‘Hello, This is Mrs Prime’. WHO ANSWERS LIKE THAT!!! Important people I guess. I said something lame “Hi, I got a letter asking to call?” I had nothing clever to say! REALLY!!! She giggled and said ‘’I didn’t think you were going to call! I’m so glad you did! My husband and I would love to sit and talk to you about a potential position, if your interested”. At that time I was working at the hospital, I had a decent schedule, benefits, and was established, but where there is an opportunity to grow, I will always entertain the idea. She asked if I can come by their home the very next day. At first I was a little hesitant because these are complete strangers, what if they murder me? Or what if they try to get me to play some kinky game? Ewww. Anyway, I went.

They lived in a very expensive country club in our area. I couldn’t believe it. I fell in love with just the front of their house, as I sat in my car I prayed to be kept safe and to not fk up my words! I felt I took an eternity to walk to their front door, but the walk was nice. They had a tiny river running under the walk path, fruit trees on both sides, everything immaculate! I reached the 23 steps to get up to their front door. I knocked on the enormous steel double doors. A Hispanic woman opened the door with the biggest smile on her face. For a split second I thought of that movie GET OUT, I thought GIRL IS YOUR SMILE SUPPOSE TO GIVE ME THE SIGNAL? WHATS GOING ON! She asked me to come in. Standing in the entry way really made you feel tiny. There was beautiful artwork and busts on custom built cut outs, polished concrete floors- impeccable. I was at a loss for words. The woman walked me towards a grand living room (I bet my living room would fit in there maybe 5 times! No exaggeration). They had an over-sized ivory colored sectionals (ahh, the luxuries of not having small children in the home) with light grey and cream colored throw pillows surrounding a glass coffee table. They had a small marble cheese platter, so fancy these Prime people were! Mrs Prime immediately stood up and shook my hand, and on a recliner was the top of a balding head with a sea of white hairs. She cheerfully said “This is Dr Prime” he reached his old wrinkled hand out to shake my hand, a firm grip. He was not all smiles like his wife, he was more serious. He had CNN on the lowest volume. He was not for chit-chat, he immediately gave me a short background of himself. He said he has been a Doctor for over 45 years, he explained that he became handicapped because of a bad knee surgery that could not be reversed, hence keeping him from all his social activities. He walked at snail speed and used a walker, he was embarrassed and felt like a burden to his family, he didn’t say it directly but I heard him loud and clear. He said he appreciated my professional performance at the hospital and wanted to offer me a full time position in his home. To me this seemed like such a risk! I had kids to take care of! I can’t leave a solid stable job for something that can potentially go bad. I explained my circumstance and said I was flattered and appreciated his interest in hiring me but that I couldn’t risk not having money coming into my home in the event that he fired me for whatever reason. He laughed, the kind of laugh that almost says ‘don’t be silly’. I looked confused because these are moments I only watch on movies, these things don’t happen to me. He said he will have his lawyer draw up a contract and to let him know what I want (yes, this part was a little creepy, there’s millions of nurses who know as much as I do, WHY ME!). I joked and said ‘’Dont play with me Mr Prime! I’ll ask for everything, including your walker! Then what are you gonna do!” Everyone laughed, it was at that moment that I noticed a ‘CLICK’ between all of us. Humor was his way of facing everything, a shield I often used when I’m nervous. He said he noticed that he was putting me in a difficult situation then proceeded to ask me question, “what does the hospital offer you that you feel you can’t let go of?” I said “my insurance, my kids benefit from that”. Then he asked “what about the hours you work, do you like those?” I said ‘’not really but it’s responsibility”. He then said “I WANT TO HELP YOU, and I need you to help me, we both are taking risks, you ready?” The way he delivered his words locked me in, he seemed so absolute and confident. It took me a minute to answer when he said “this is what we will do, give me one week to have my lawyer draw up a contract that will make us both happy. You can then review it and decide at that point, what do you think?” To that I did agree.

Exactly a week later, his housekeeper... no, assistant? no... right hand woman to the Mrs? no... I still don’t know what to call her, it wouldn’t even matter, because I didn’t know then that I was eventually going to take her job. Anyhow, She (oh gosh, we need to name her guys! We will call her Rosa, truthfully, I think her name really was Rosaline, or Rosemary or something like that) called and said Dr Prime would like to see me this evening, I agreed. After my shift I went to his mini-mansion and found him, his wife, and two other men in suites sitting at a round cherry wood dining table. I felt so out of place! Here I am showing up in crocks and scrubs and these people look like their about to have some fancy dinner. The house smelled GREAT! Someone was cooking, I know it wasn’t Mrs. Prime. Anyway, I went and sat across them (talk about feeling like your in the Lion’s Den). One of the men in the suites introduced himself and said he is an Estate Lawyer for the Primes and that he will be reading my contract to me. I have that contract in my possession but its LONG! So I’ll highlight the benefits.

If I took this employment opportunity I will be required to travel with the family. Certain accommodations will be available for my family in the event that the trip is more then 2 days or out of the Country. I was to receive a Vehicle to be used only for trips that Dr Prime needs to be transported. I will be responsible for all medical equipment and prescriptions in accordance with his personal MD. I am to be available to the family 24 hours a day with no days off (I know, hold on, I’ll explain), If I get sick I am to schedule an assistant and visually be of assistance from my location to ensure safety and organization. I will have access to a Credit Card for any work-related expenses (Pay attention, this gets better). In case of personal family issues, arrangements will need to be made known to Dr and Mrs Prime as soon as possible. In taking this position I will be allotted $1,000.00 in uniforms including shoes a year. This position will require me to overlook a private chef who will prepare breakfast and lunch for Dr. Prime. On Occasion I will need to ready him for social events. In the contract it stated that in case something should happen to Dr. Prime that I will have a year’s pay. There’s more but this was the gist. I was overwhelmed, THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME!!!!! They covered everything! All my worries were spoken for. I looked at Dr Prime straight in the eye for what seemed like forever. I felt like he was saying IT’S GOING TO BE OK the whole time... I signed.

I turned in my immediate resignation at the hospital and quickly went to work. One the first day he said to get my car keys, there was a beautiful black Range Rover that was to be called my WORK vehicle. I asked how this was suppose to work? Am I suppose to leave it here? He said no, you take it home, your on the clock 24 hours a day, you need it. OMG!!!!!! Then he said there was fine print that was not included in the contract but that I needed to know about- awww shit! Here we go. He said “my wife and I are snow birds, we will be here 5 months out of the year and the other 7 months we spend it in Vermont. I CANT GO TO VERMONT FOR 7 MONTHS!!! He quickly came in and said “you are only on the clock until I am settled in out there, when the time comes for me to go back, you will pack up everything, ship it, fly with me, and hand over my records to my daughter who lives out there and has an assistant to help me” He informed me that it would be like a vacation and my kids are welcome to go as well since this process usually takes about 2 weeks. He said the car can still be used because I am still on the clock according to my contract.

Fast forward a few years. Him and I became the best of friends. He was a great debater, I enjoyed out conversations. He was to me what Tumblr is now... my personal therapist. He always had great advice and truly came to care for my family, and my family for his.

There’s a lot to say about him, and I will eventually. It still hurts to not have him around. Although I stayed fairly close to his children and wife, he is a massive existence that can never be replaced. He was my financial guide, he told me how to make money that can work for me. My job was easy with him, I think the emotional part was the most challenging. Aside from his physical ailment, he suffered with depression and has mentioned not wanting to be around anymore. As a matter of fact, at one point he took some pills he knew he wasn’t suppose to have, they were his wife’s. He was rushed to the hospital, as soon as he was himself again I dropped the bomb on his old ass! What a selfish move! And not that I struggle with my own anxieties, I can understand the feeling, I wish there was more I could have done to help him with that. Side note: no, he didn’t die of suicide, it was natural causes.

In the end, when God took him home, I was home. It was about 9:30 a.m. when I got the phone call from his house, and it was his daughter crying uncontrollably. I obviously got worried and said IM ON MY WAY, she said “No, It’s not that, my daddy passed away this morning” I dropped to my knees and cried. I remember because I was in my backyard doing yard work with my kids. I remember they hugged me, I was numb for weeks to come. About two weeks later his wife called me to help her with some things. When I showed up, her kids were there too. They all hugged me and cried quietly. Mrs Prime said she needed me to fly with his remains back to Vermont because no one else had the strength to do it. I agreed. Before I left Mrs. Prime said the lawyer was going to contact me in a few days, I cut her off and said “really, I don’t want anything, he was a great friend and you all have been so kind to me” she just smiled and said it again “the lawyer will call you okay”. About 3 weeks went by and a lawyer called to come to his office. When I went he said that Mr. Prime added me to his will and requested a few things for me. 1. My vehicle keys will be surrendered to lawyer for updated vehicle. 2. I will receive pay from the Family Trust for 3 years of the same amount discussed. 3. 2 College accounts have been started courtesy of the Family Trust for my two boys. 4. All bills for my household will be covered by the Family Trust for one year. 5. A letter.

I was as white as a ghost. I definitely didn’t deserve that! The lawyer handed me a manila folder with a single white envelope that read the following:

MY TRUEST FRIEND,

I WISH I COULD SAY THAT LIFE IS EASY KID, BUT WE BOTH KNOW IT’S ONLY EASY FOR THOSE WHO REALLY WANT IT THAT WAY. I’M WRITING THIS TO SIMPLY SAY THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR MANAGING TO MAKE ME SMILE AND FEEL ALIVE. FOR NOT TREATING ME LIKE A DYING MAN. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME AND MY FAMILY ENTER YOUR HEART LIKE YOU ENTERED OURS. THANK YOU FOR NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE WHEN I WAS TOO SCARED TO ADMIT IT. I WISH YOUR BOYS SEE YOUR WORK ETHIC AND EMPATHY FOR PEOPLE AND ABSORB THAT. YOU ARE A GIFT! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MRS PRIME, YOUR CONTRACT IS NOT OVER UNTIL SHE’S GONE. YOU WILL HAVE A FOREVER JOB HERE, AS LONG AS YOU WANT IT. THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS KEEPING ME IN YOUR PRAYERS AND FOR SHOWING ME THAT HONESTY AND NOBILITY STILL LIVES. ILL SEE YA AROUND KID! I LOVE YA!

#BiggestBlessing thisdoesnthappentome #IMISSYOUdrprime #notsocrativewiththenames

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shorthaircutsmodels · 5 years ago

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sanctferum · 7 years ago

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OK, Dangan Ronpa V3: Chapter 3: begin!

Last time, Kirumi turned out to be the killer, and also the Prime Minister of Japan despite being a high schooler, and then she tried to escape being executed. Monokuma used her attempted escape as the execution stage, and she died, and Monosuke was destroyed as well. Afterwards, Gonta couldn’t find any familiar constellations in the sky, meaning that the Ultimates are not in Japan. Then Kokichi revealed that Maki was not the Ultimate Child Caregiver, but the Ultimate Assassin. In doing so, he revealed having known her true talent the entire time, which isn’t gonna help with his already extremely low trustworthiness factor. Between that and the revelations about Maki that he told us, the game won’t be boring, which is good for him, and bad for us.

I wonder if we’ll find another grafitti thing? Something to give us more clues than just “horse a”.

The chapter opens up with a look at what I assume is the disaster that wipes out Japan, destroying Kirumi’s nation and killing Kaito’s grandparents in the process.

A meteor. A meteor shower that is destroying cities…and the meteor itself, if it impacts, will likely spell The End. The apocalypse. RIP humanity.

The government is urging citizens to get to shelters in subway stations. Will that really work?

Then, whoever is watching the news turns off the TV.

How could this happen? Is Monokuma really so godlike as to summon a meteor? What is this Final Fantasy VII bullshit?

“Chapter 3: Transfer Student From Beyond The Grave”

Are we gonna learn about Rantaro in this chapter, or…I dunno…

The day after the 2nd class trial, everyone is going to Maki’s lab. Guess she doesn’t have a reason to keep people from entering anymore…

Weapons. Weapons everywhere. Enough weapons to easily prove that Kokichi is telling the truth.

Shuichi guesses that Kokichi found out from the motive video…which is where Ryoma must have found out. But no. It’s like Kokichi said before, he knew from the start.

Maki hid her identity, stayed under cover…was it so she could kill us? I don’t think so. Like Keebo says, she’s had plenty of chances so far, and has taken none of them.

Maki is in her dorm room, with the door locked.

Himiko volunteers Gonta to grab Maki and lock her up somewhere…presumably somewhere she doesn’t have the key to, unlike her dorm. Tenko volunteers as well. Better to sneak attack her before she can sneak attack us.

Kaito says he’ll do something about the situation, and Kokichi promptly leaves all responsibility to him, then insults Gonta. And then Monokuma shows up, claiming time is of the essence. The prize for clearing the class trial…is not here. The Kubs have it. Monokuma calls for them a few times, to no avail.

And then they show up. They’re so cute, Monokuma’s gonna go bald from looking at them. Sure enough, several patches of his exterior fall off, as does his right eye. Monodam continues to not hand out the prize. Monokuma is confused, and also is no longer damaged at all.

Monodam says the Kubs are not Monokuma’s slaves. Is he really gonna try and overthrow Monokuma?

Yup. Monodam says he’ll be calling the shots now. The other Monokubs are following him. Getting nervous, Monokuma?

Monokuma drops the nervous act and tries to re-assert his authority. That’s when the Monokubs invite in some guests. The Exisals all show up…this mutiny is real.

That WAS something I’d thought about, yeah…whether Monokuma could pilot Monokid and now Monosuke’s exisals. Apparently not.

I wonder if Monodam has any particular feelings on whether the killing game should go on or not?

Monokuma freaks out, and goes bald again. But he doesn’t seem to be changing back this time…

Monodam did bring the prize! He just wasn’t gonna give it over under Monokuma’s orders, I guess.

A Golden Hammer, Magic Key, and Ninja Scroll. Well I know where the key and scroll go…where does the hammer go?

Monodam is enforcing getting along. The killing games must be at a pause. A temporary one, obviously, but oh well.

Another flashback light? Nice.

Kokichi dislikes the Kubs, and robots in general. Keebo is understandably unhappy about this remark.

Monokuma is weirdly inert…is he broken?

Let’s leave the Ultimate Assassin’s Lab, then.

Angie is creepy. Gonta still sees a tiny bug out of the corner of his eye sometimes, but it’s never there when he looks.

Tsumugi is still trying to process all of yesterday’s BS…Ryoma dying, Kirumi being the Prime Minister, Maki being an assassin.

Kiyo is being exceedingly creepy about the whole Kirumi situation. Well done, Kiyo, I guess.

Using the key on the drawing of a door makes the wall collapse. Beyond is…the fourth floor of the school.

Tsumugi is worried about whether the 4th floor is dangerous. Gonta will protect everyone! Tsumugi compares him to Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon, confusing the poor guy. They go up the stairs, and we follow.

The music changed, and…uh…what the fuck is this?

The Monokubs briefly show up. Monophanie says a brutal murder took place here, but that it was fictional.

Tsumugi thinks this floor doesn’t feel like a school at all. Rather, it’s like a separate building.

How expensive was this place to build? Why would Monokuma bring us here to cultivate our talents, but also to kill each other?

Gonta does not like this place. There’s a stain on the wall that’s way too close to blood for comfort…Tsumugi thinks Monokuma created this creepy effect and the “bloodstain” isn’t real. The creepiness of this place feels almost hammy.

Three empty rooms, huh? Left one first.

It’s dimly lit by two wall torches and completely empty. No windows or anything…if the candle goes out, complete darkness. The floorboards aren’t nailed down, either. And there’s a hole in one corner of the room.

According to Gonta, the other two rooms are exactly like this. Except the center room has a hidden Monokuma! Wait, how do I get it? I can’t turn around. Um…maybe it isn’t a hidden Monokuma? I dunno.

Then there’s this big weird room…ah, it’s Kiyo’s Lab.

There’s a book about a the “fabled Caged Dog village”, which had been destroyed long ago. There’s also a statue of a dog standing on a cage. The village was known for harboring dark powers and spell, so a feudal lord destroyed it. The only survivor was a girl who wrote down her experience…this is her book, then. It’s rumored that the dark arts and spells of this book are extremely potent…I bet Himiko would love this.

A book soaked in the essence of the surviving girl’s grudge against the feudal lord…this is weird. Let’s move on.

A rusted golden katana is in another case. It looks like it’s still sharp…best watch out, then. It might be the next weapon.

Oh it isn’t made of gold. It’s just gold leaf. I was gonna say gold paint, but no, that’s in the original Dangan Ronpa.

Kiyo starts to explain the historical significance of the katana, before Kokichi runs over to look at it. When did he even get in here? He grabs the katana, despite Kiyo’s warnings, and unsheathes it.

After Kokichi decides it’s a potential murder weapon, Kiyo threatens him and Kokichi gives the katana back after sheathing it.

The gold plating flakes off of it and sticks to his hand. Well ain’t that familiar…

Kiyo threatens Kokichi some more, then asks if Shuichi wishes to converse with the dead. The Caged Dog Village had many rituals. Such as…seances. The Caged Child is the name of this ritual, and it is performed using the dog statue and the cage. Kiyo wasn’t even sure of it’s existence until now…but now that he knows for sure that the artifact is real, he wants to try using it. Shuichi does not want anything to do with the occult. He doesn’t believe it’s real, and anyways, he has nothing to say to the dead right now. Maybe, at some point in the future, if everyone escapes and everyone is alive and friends…maybe then he will have something to say to Kaede…other than that, no interest.

Kiyo says that the dead should only be called on at the right time, anyways. Hmmm.

There’s two doors here. Back into the hall, to…

Um, what the fuck is this. The floor’s all red, and there’s strange designs and patterns on the wall…there’s a little shrine in the hallway too, with a blank hanging scroll. Next chapter, we’ll no doubt get an ink quill for surviving the trial, and it’ll open a new path.

There’s a weird rainbow door here, too. Judging by the minimap symbol, it’s Angie’s lab. The back door is locked, so let’s go through the front door.

The front door is locked too. Angie’s lab isn’t accessible yet? Weird.

Kokichi arrives to claim to have a secret technique to open the door. Before he can pick the lock or whatever, the door unlocks. Was Angie already inside? No wait, the Ultimate labs don’t have locks in the first place.

And yet, here is clearly Angie, having just unlocked the door.

Yeah, Shuichi also thinks it’s weird that this lab can be locked, and no other lab can.

The Monokubs show up. Monotaro argues with Monophanie, then starts to freak out when he realizes Monodam is judging him. Sorry dude, you are very likely to be the next Monokub to die.

The reason the lab is locked is because Angie needs to be alone to concentrate and channel Atua.

It’s weird that the Monokubs knew that in advance, though. They also got her favorite art supplies and sculpting tools. Hmmm.

Monodam claims to know everything about everyone here, and that Monokuma and Monodam’s fellow Kubs also do. But he says he’s gonna be friends with everyone, and that’s why he’s using this knowledge.

Kokichi does not like Monodam. He’s probably the only one here who still wants killing’s to happen too. I’m keeping an eye on you, Kokichi.

There’s only one key to this room. Monodam eats the key, so that no one can use it for murder. OK, that just happened. His fellow Kubs cart him off after he starts to look ill.

Monokuma once claimed that the school was specifically made for the 16 (at the time) Ultimates here. Angie’s lab isn’t a generic art lab…it’s a lab specifically for Angie. That points to Monokuma having told the truth that time…

There’s exposed beams on the ceiling. Kokichi wonders if it’s supposed to be like that, or if it wasn’t finished in time for this place to open up?

There’s hammers, chisels, wax…apparently death masks used to be made of wax.

The rear door has a sliding lock, but the front door has a knob and cylinder lock. According to Angie, it’s a good representation of cultural differences. Western art emphasizes symmetry, but Angie prefers asymmetry and partition functions. We can’t leave through this door, so we have to use the front door.

That’s all we can do on the fourth floor for now.

If we try to enter Ryoma’s lab, we get Shuichi musing on how Ryoma couldn’t make the other Ultimates his reason to live.

Same with Kirumi’s lab. I can’t get into Kaede’s lab either, so maybe we can investigate them in Free Time. The game also won’t let us into the basement, so there’s nothing there to use these items on. The Othello door is still locked…I guess we’ll search outside.

The Exisals are renovating the place still, but a lot of the plant matter has been cleaned up. It’s becoming more beautiful…just like Himiko is, according to herself. Himiko blushes over her own compliment to herself. Also, the reason she always has the same expression on her face is because it’d be a pain to make a new expression every time something happens.

She was standing here with Tenko, but they walk off, letting us explore more.

In the courtyard, near the ninja statue that we’re gonna use the scroll on, Tenko is ruminating on how she said she was sick of the killing game after the trial ended. She still is sick of it, but she no longer wants to stay trapped here – rather, she wants to escape with everyone! With Himiko beside her, she will fight to carry on Kaede and Kirumi’s wishes. And Rantaro’s wishes too, even though he’s a guy, because might as well. And Ryoma’s, but he had no wishes to speak of, so that’s a dead-end there.

Himiko is still upset that people think she escaped the water tank through usage of a mundane escape hatch rather than magic. Yeah, sure. Let’s hope she doesn’t get a hold of Kiyo’s Caged Dog Book, though.

Himiko is also upset that her show did the exact opposite of make people happy. Not your fault, Himiko! Also, she used a lot of MP escaping, and therefore had no mana left to kill the piranhas with, which would have at least preserved Ryoma’s body.

Ninja statue! I still have no idea where the hammer leads to or what to use it on.

Putting the scroll in the ninja fox’s hand makes a building rise out of the ground…with “Welcome!!!” on it. Tenko instantly recognizes it as a dojo. Well if that’s anyone Ultimate Lab, it’d be yours I guess.

What kind of technology made the building rise up like that, rising from the ground like a popup picture book? Himiko claims it was her magic. Yeah, yeah, sure. Nothing to do with that scroll at all.

Himiko is super excited to investigate the dojo! She invites Shuichi and Himiko inside, but also says she’d be happier if Shuichi declined, since he’s a degenerate male. Too bad, I’m a detective, I NEED to investigate strange places.

Investigating the building has Tenko recognize it as what must be her Ultimate Research Lab. She goes inside. Himiko doesn’t care, but Tenko pushes her in anyways.

It is indeed Tenko’s lab. There’s suspended scaffolding, so that’d be useful for filiming a kung-fu movie. There’s a giant wooden doll in the back, which Shuichi thinks is a totem of some sort. I bet it’s a training dummy.

Himiko is uncomfortable in a place so lacking in mana. Physical attacks are not her forte, magical ones are.

Tenk’s mad that Shuichi entered her lab despite being male, but also super excited to have her own lab! Sparring here will be great!

When Shuichi points out that she has no sparring partner, she grabs him, and tosses him over her head to the mat below. Looks like you’re her sparring partner for a bit…don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be over soon, once you DIE!

As Shuichi gets up and brushes himself off, Tenko brings up something out of left field. Shuichi doesn’t have a lot of confidence in himself. It’s true. He promised Kaede to be confident in himself, but hasn’t fulfilled that promise on anything more than a superficial level. Tenko says that since Shuichi lacks self-esteem, he doubts his own strength. He’s become more confident than he was when he first came here, but he still questions himself. It’s all true, though I doubt Neo-Aikido will solve his problems.

Neo Aikido, a Japanese martial art that treasures a pure heart above all else…

With Himiko’s magic and Tenko’s strength, they could pack a wallop. Himiko immediately decides that training to do such a thing sounds like a pain. Tenko responds by flipping her over and throwing her to the floor. Are you gonna do that to everyone who comes in here? Tenko diagnoses Himiko as too shy to show her emotions. I think her being too lazy sounds closer to right.

Tenko challenges Himiko to train with her. And afterwards they can hit the showers together. Your heart isn’t quite as pure as you think, Tenko…

Himiko hurt her back, being thrown like that. She is very angry at Tenko. Soon, Tenko will be able to enjoy her new life as a frog. (Just kidding. Using the Toad spell is too much of a pain for Himiko.)

What else is here? A balance pole? Nothing besides that and the mat left to examine. Hopefully the game will give us hints about where to use the hammer.

As Shuichi leaves the dojo, he spots Miu and Keebo conversing. Miu…sure sounds like she’s trying to convince Keebo to fuck her…as Kokichi might say, “Do robots have dicks”? Maybe Miu wants to sit on Keebo while he vibrates? Either way, Keebo isn’t flushed in the face, but only because he’s a robot. He sure looks uncomfortable.

Nevermind, his face turned red after all. I guess he has a blush function installed? Miu pulls him into the Ultimate Inventor’s Lab. Poor guy…

Shuichi is more worried about Keebo than worried about what he might see if he looks in the lab. So he does. Inside is a strange sound…and a strange sight. Miu, laying atop a struggling Keebo, attempting to get her jollies off?

Dust and debris? Is she…trying to clean his systems? In an extremely suggestive manner? Is this the game’s equivalent of Dangan Ronpa 2 and Nekomaru doing “it” (massage, not sex) to Akane? Probably. Except…this wouldn’t be weird if Miu wasn’t making it weird.

Whoever put Keebo together? Professor Idabachi or whatever?

Keebo stop making this even weirder than it actually is…I know unlike Miu you don’t mean to but…

“…I closed the door without a word.” And headed to the casino to get a nice large alcoholic drink, or perhaps some brain bleach.

Maintenance on Keebo’s body. Right. That’s obviously all there is to it. Not thinking about this anymoooooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeee!!!

Poor Shuichi. Now to find out where the hammer goes.

Maybe we can smash the stupid statue in the shrine? Oh look, a hidden Monokuma on the shrine’s steps. Gotcha. Nope, not the shrine. We just get the same inner monologue as when examining the Ultimate Maid’s Lab.

Where the heck do I use the hammer? It must be usable on wherever the flashback light is hidden, so…

The maps has only one exclamation point – near Gonta and Tsumugi on the 4th floor. We already talked to them, though. Maybe we needed to investigate the other places, and then come back to the 4th floor?

Going back to the 4th floor, we find Tsumugi and Gonta, and…Monokuma. He’s still balding and missing his eye, though. When Shuichi asks what he’s even doing here, he disappears down the hallway…we find him near the right side classroom. Why is he waiting outside an empty classroom, though?

Monokuma is looking at Shuichi, then his gaze moves to the picture on the wall. Back and forth…Shuichi inspects the canvas, only to realize it’s no canvas. It’s a pane of glass. Hammertime feels imminent…but knowing Monokuma, and knowing he’s leading us here, this is a trap, meant for him to seize power back from Monodam and restart the killing game. What is the flashback light gonna make us remember this time?

A hidden passageway behind the glass…with his job done, Monokuma disappears. I do not trust this at all.

If the rest of the 4th floor is a hammy haunted house, this part is like…a factory. I am reminded by that sword that we know nothing about the facility where the Ultimates suppressed their memories.

There’s a door with what appears to be a giant camera lens on it…an Ultimate Lab, or…?

Inside is…a computer room. A giant machine is inside, marked with a giant X. It is silver with a glowing green button in the center. Could it be…a giant Xbox?! Oh hey look who’s here, the Kubs.

Monodam praises the Ultimates’ teamwork in solving the painting puzzle. Should we tell him just who we teamed up with to solve it? Probably not.

The puzzle wasn’t that difficult...well, not in-universe at least, and not after we found out where it was…

Yes, Monodam. The outdated piece of junk that is your father helped us…making me very suspicious in the process.

The computer room, with a giant computer. A computer that’s amazing! You could create entire worlds with the computer! Then, is this what created the world we’re in now? What the hell is it? Is this a digital world after all? Are we just AIs created by a hijacked Neo World Program or something?

Monotaro wasn’t supposed to tell us that. Monodam is worried that Monophanie knew that, and let Monotaro take the fall…I’m not sure if Monophanie or Monotaro will be the next Kub victim, or whether they or Monokuma himself will be the ones to permanently depose Monodam…

Monodam warns his two siblings that not getting along will result in punishment…for both of them. Yeah, he’s gonna totally get killed off by his siblings…

Shuichi can’t make heads or tails about the computer. Let’s investigate the treasure chest instead. Time for memories! Let’s gather everyone up and use this Flashback Light.

Kokichi arrives after we find the light, tells us he’ll gather everyone in the dining hall, and leaves. Time to put this baby to the test. I suppose the remaining six labs, including Rantaro’s, will have to wait till another chapter. I do wonder if anyone besides Rantaro will die before their lab becomes accessible…If no, then Kaito, Kokichi, Keebo, Tsumugi, and Shuichi himself are safe. I’m not too worried about Kiyo, either. Angie, Tenko, and Himiko seem like the people who might have a chance of dying in this chapter…I don’t think Miu will die, since I saw a screenshot of her that said case 3 on it. So if she isn’t the blackened, she’s safe. And Maki…I doubt she’ll let us hang out with her in this chapter. We couldn’t hang out with her last chapter either. So she’ll probably survive till at least chapter 4, so we have free time chances with her.

Maki wasn’t invited by Kokichi to the dining hall. Kaito hasn’t shown up, either…bet he’ll come by with Maki in reluctant tow.

As for the big computer? Keebo can’t do much with it. A robot that isn’t computer-savvy…huh. Miu sounds interested in it, though.

Kiyo asks what Keebo’s talent is. Ultimate Robot, of course. If Kokichi can be an Ultimate Supreme Leader, Keebo being a robot can be a talent.

I can’t imagine Keebo being good at comedy routines…

Hate to say it, but Kokichi is right…Keebo being a robot isn’t just his Ultimate talent, it’s his only talent. Perhaps the professor who built Keebo could be considered the Ultimate Roboscientist, but Keebo has nothing he’s particularly good at besides being himself.

As Shuichi is about to mention what Monotaro said, Kaito shows up. Sure enough, he’s brought Maki. She is none too thrilled to be here, and immediately upon Kiyo calling her a professional killer, she tries to leave. Kaito stops her by grabbing her arm. You’re on thin ice, Kaito. Hope you can skate.

So, his remark about taking down Maki’s mask was…he can’t bring himself to believe Maki could kill people in cold blood. I dunno, I can.

Keebo asks if Maki is really the Ultimate Assassin. Someone’s who’s killed people before. She says yes. (to which question, though?)

Maki hid it because she knew everyone would react this way, and she was right, and I was right about her reasons for hiding her talent.

Whenever anyone learns Maki’s talent, they fear her. Fear turns to hate, turns to a pre-emptive strike. She’s revealed her identity before. Every single time, it ends with someone trying to kill her.

Kokichi wonders if everything Maki has been through has left her unable to value human life. Kaito says she’s an assassin, not a murderous fiend. Nice DR1 reference there, Kaito.

Maki knew they would react like this, and that when she explained herself, they wouldn’t believe her. She tried her best to avoid everyone, but Kaito kept dragging her into things.

Maki makes a declaration. She has no intent to kill any other Ultimate here. She will kill anyone who tries to kill her, but she won’t kill those who don’t try a pre-emptive strike. I believe her.

C’mon, Shuichi. This is where Kaede would’ve reaffirmed that she still believes in Maki.

Shuichi remains silent, and Maki leaves. No flashback light for her, I guess.

In the end, though, everyone agrees to use the light to get more memories, more clues. But they must not use those clues as motivation to leave, lest murders happen.

Inside of that light, Shuichi sees…a shrine. The shrine from chapter 2’s opening. But this time…it’s filled in. Filled in with 16 pictures. 16 memorial pictures, flanked by candlelight…and part of the scene from chapter 2. But a few lines in, Shuichi regains his senses, and the scene ends.

But…how can that be? Shuich is bewildered. How could he have witnessed his own funeral? Not just his own funeral, either. A funeral service held in memory of all the Ultimates who were and are here.

Everyone proceeds to freak out. They all had the same memory restored…

Gonta theorizes that they might already be dead. But then where are they now? The Academy sure is hell, but not literally, right?

Kaito decides the memory must have been of, maybe, a play they did for a school festival. C’mon, man. Don’t turn away from the truth…whatever it might be.

He does have a point that it’s awfully strange that they were able to watch their own funeral, and are still alive right now…I have a theory, actually.

What if Shuichi’s memory of wanting to die with everyone else was…

What if the Ultimates DID die with everyone else? A few survivors holding a memorial service would make sense.

And as for how they’re alive now…it’s one step further than Dangan Ronpa 2. In DR2, the characters were avatars, created from their own memories pre-Hope’s Peak. But they still had flesh and blood bodies that those avatars were attached to. What if…the Ultimates are just perfect simulations? In which case, the end of the world that the computer created would result in their own existences disappearing, without there even being real bodies to retreat to like in DR2.

It’s also awfully suspicious that everyone had the same memory. What if it was 12 (well, 11, since Maki left early) copies of the same memory? It might not even be a memory that they themselves had. They’ve got no way of knowing, right?

Kaito states that it’s definitely false, he’s alive and hearty! Miu makes a hard-on joke, Tenko asks what I’m sure is a completely innocent question about what males being hard in the morning means, Miu gets pissed that someone else is making dirt comments (even without meaning to.)

Himiko and Kaito are kinda disappointed that the memory this time wasn’t worth much. Kokichi is also disappointed…but not in the memory. He claims that his disappointment in his classmates is a lie, so we don’t get to hear what he was talking about, but I bet it’s turning away from the truth because it doesn’t seem to make sense at the moment.

We eat and return to our rooms. Shuichi ponders asking Monokuma for assistance in figuring the whole funeral thing out, but decides against it. So. He can lie in bed trying to solve a problem without knowing the necessary facts. OR, he could have Free Time. Who to hang out with? I’m interested in knowing more about Kaede and Rantaro’s lives, and finding out Ryoma’s backstory, but that’s impossible till Academy Mode or whatever the School Mode equivalent is called. Or, until we play through the game again. We hung out with Kokichi and maxed out his friendship fragments…and Maki doesn’t want to get involved with anyone. I wasn’t planning on hanging out with Kirumi, but she’s also off the list due to being dead. We also can’t hang out with ourself. (Well, we can hang out with Shuichi in chapter 1, but not now.)

That leaves…Keebo, Tenko, Himiko, Angie, Kiyo, Kaito, Miu, Gonta, and Tsumugi. I’ll hang out with either Keebo or Kaito this chapter…next time!

#Dangan Ronpa #Dangan Ronpa V3 #Danganronpa V3

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lex1nat0r · 7 years ago

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Akame ga Kill!

Kill All These Words

Alright, heads up right off the bat: there’s some uncomfortable homophobia in this show towards Bulat, one of the male characters introduced early on who pretty clearly has a preference for men. The show treats this as a joke, and it’s a real sore spot.

Akame ga Kill! (exclamation mark included) is... not what I was expecting. I’d heard it built up as a grimdark murderfest where you never know which character’s going to bite the dust next and it never quite felt as dire as all that. Mostly because all the murderkilling is interspersed with wacky slapstick bits. It’s a mixed bag, really. I like it, sure, but it doesn’t quite gel with me enough that I’m really into it.

Join me for a deep dive and spoilers below.

Akame ga Kill! suffers from a problem I’ve seen a few times in anime, which is that it rubberbands between two tonal extremes. On one hand, there will be scenes of slapstick comedy with chibi character models, and on the other hand are the scenes of violence and cruelty. Like in the first episode where it turns out that the nice rich girl who shelters Tatsumi tortures poor people in her spare time.

Yeah, it’s a sadistic show, or at least feels like it wants you to think it is.

Don’t believe her lies.

Let me first take a step back and give the rundown of some basic stuff. Akame ga Kill! is about Tatsumi, a guy from some podunk village who tries to join the imperial army in the city to get money to send back home. He ends up falling in with Night Raid, an elite group of assassins working for the Revolutionary Army trying to overthrow the corrupt empire. And right there I think the show missed a trick. I was expecting a mid-season twist where it would turn out that the Revolutionary Army was just as corrupt as the current regime and Night Raid would have to deal with that, but for the most part the Revolutionary Army is a non-entity in the show. Outside the final two episodes its presence is limited to a few resistance contacts.

An almost unforgivable oversight is how little attention the show gives to the danger beasts, the monsters that inhabit the land of... wherever Akame ga Kill! takes place. They get very little screentime as the show focuses mostly on Night Raid’s assassination targets. Another missed opportunity, I feel. On the upside, at least the danger beasts get lip service in that each of the Imperial Relics wielded by the tough fighters in the series is made from a legendary danger beast. It would have been nice to, y’know, see these powerful monsters on screen, but one takes what one can get.

The worldbuilding on the whole is pretty weak. The general aesthetic is pretty generic fantasy, but the major characters have some pretty anachronistic outfits and apparently guns are semi-standard issue to the armed forces? It’s a little distracting, but still forgivable because it feels like the background details take a definite back seat to the characters.

And speaking of characters: Esdeath.

Not gonna lie, I did originally get into Akame ga Kill because I wanted to know what Esdeath’s whole deal was.

Esdeath’s relationship with Tatsumi initially made me roll my eyes pretty hard, but it is handled better than I was afraid it would be and at least affects the plot in interesting ways while adding flavor to both characters. My one gripe is really that it should have had more setup instead of Esdeath falling in love at first sight. And it does eventually lead to the most emotionally affecting part of the whole show (more on that later).

Esdeath drawing Tatsumi in that amateurish anime style is one of the best little bits of character I’ve seen in an anime.

Now to get back into the meat of the thing:

Accusing a work of being emotionally manipulative is pointless because yes, every creative work is trying to make you feel something. But problems arise when you can see the strings. Akame ga Kill!’s attempts to make you feel sorry for a character who has just died or is about to die they just become tedious. It’s kind of fun to guess who’s going to get killed off based on what (usually tragic) backstory we see during an episode, but once the show actually starts drawing out the actual death scenes I start losing interest.

This is even more of a problem when the show tries to get us to care about the Jaegers, Esdeath’s team of relic-wielders who try to hunt down Night Raid. It spends a lot of time building up their characters and relationships, but my problem is that they’re the bad guys. They all work for a system that we’ve only seen to be oppressive and corrupt and none of them seem at all interested in bettering it, only protecting the status quo. So in the end I just can’t find it in me to dredge up any real feeling for them beyond wondering when they’ll die and how melodramatic it’ll be. The worst offender here is Seryuu, the Paladin type who’s definitely Lawful... something (let’s not get into D&D alignment quibbling here). She’s constantly talking about Justice while seemingly ignorant of the irony when the ‘justice’ she’s championing is rotten to the core. It might have been nice to see her have a change of heart and join Night Raid but there was never any real hope of that happening.

Seryuu (who’s family name is inexplicably ‘Ubiquitous’), pictured here with her relic Coro in the form of a jacked-as-fuck puppy.

Now, to be fair in the final few episodes Run does reveal that he joined the Jaegers to try and change the empire from the inside, but he’s also the Jaeger we know the least about so it doesn’t have a whole lot of weight. Plus, he survives so we don’t get to revel in the tragedy of seeing someone with good intentions cut down before they get a chance to effect real change. In a similar vein, Wave feels underused as it takes him to the final few episodes to finally decide to start bucking the system.

There is one death that did get me though, and that’s Tatsumi’s death in the second-to-last episode. It works so well because up to this point the show had been treating Tatsumi like the main character, letting us forget that it’s Akame’s name in the title. Tatsumi’s death also provides a nice emotional payoff to the romance subplot with Esdeath. It’s one of the real high points of the series because how genuinely unexpected it was.

That one moment aside, the thing about Akame ga Kill! is that I’m not sure if it’s making a sincere effort to tug at heartstrings or if the melodramatic deaths are just part of the show’s whole overblown aesthetic. While not tonally consistent with each other, the wacky comedy bits and the girmdark gore bits at least feel like they tie into each other thematically in that they’re both extremes. This also matches the show’s bright, cartoony artstyle. Even the character designs are over-the-top, with the aforementioned anachronistic design elements. Plus the initial members of Night Raid have hints of a sentai team’s color-coding going on. It took me a while to figure out that’s because the show’s leaning into being something of a caricature.

I mean, the fact that the second-to-last battle is against a gigantic mech should clue you in that the show was trying to be over-the-top and not taking itself too seriously the whole time. Something I admit to being kind of slow on the uptake about. Even the main villain, the corrupt Prime Minister Honest is a total cartoon. And I can’t mention the ridiculousness of the show without a special shoutout to Seryuu’s mid-season upgrade where during fights she gets Coro to bite off her robotic arms to replace them with various weapons.

This over-the-topness is even more emphasized with Akame ga Kill! Theater, a series of web shorts that aired on the official website and are supposed to be watched after the corresponding episode of the main series. Each episode of Akame ga Kill! Theater is about a minute and a half and consists solely of chibi slapstick

So where does that leave us?

Well, technically I think that Akame ga Kill! is a good show. The antagonists Night Raid goes up against have interesting and varied abilities, the action scenes range from well done to amazing, the animation is good, and when the music stands out it really stands out. My own lack of enthusiasm for the show comes from I think one part unrealized expectations and two parts finding the melodrama tedious.

Akame ga Kill! is a series that’s worthy of respect, even if it didn’t end up blowing me away.

A happy Esdeath. She is possibly the best-defined character in the show.

Postscript: Akame ga Kill! feels to me like it’s cut from the same cloth as Blood-C. So if for whatever impossible reason you want a show that is 100% Lex-approved and have a limited amount of time, I’d say check that one out instead.

#consumed media #anime #akame ga kill

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attract-mode-collective · 8 years ago

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Finally, The ET Video Game That You’ve Been Waiting For

Since there was no proper game culture wrap-up last week (again, sorry about that), along with how I’m filing this at the end of the week instead of the beginning (there’s… stuff happening, so consider this one of the more minor examples), there’s a lot to cover this time around. Including a bunch of happenings from the word of art.

So kicking things off is the latest from Amanda Visel X Michelle Valigura. Much like their Star Wars, Beetlejuice, and Heathers cabinets, here we their ideas of what arcade games based upon ET and Aliens could and should look like. And yeah, playing as Gertie is an approach that could salvage its reputation in the video game sphere, plus I totally want an Alien/Aliens video game starring Newt.

Actually, hasn’t something similar already happened? Sorry, haven’t kept up with the video adaptations; last one I played was for the Jaguar. Anyhow, and unfortunately, both pieces are sold out online. Though… and I’m not 100% certain, but… they’re both at the Thailand Toy Expo, so maybe they brought a few extras with them?

Elsewhere in Asia, Japan to be exact, are not just one but two other notable shows, and both focused on electronic entertainment. First is something you’re probably familiar with, the My Famicase Exhibition, and not just because it’s been around for 13 years. As of this writing, the entire assortment has yet to be shared officially, so you’ll have to turn to Twitter to see the participants boasting their own handiwork.

[UPDATE: 5/7/17] Actually, all the pieces are finally viewable on the Famicase homepage proper. Here are my faves…

… I particularly love Saturdays’s flavor text: “The gateway opens once a week. Tomorrow I’m going in.”

… You kinda need to see the actual cart in the wild to understand; here’s a pic courtesy of @mandimappy…

And finally...

… It’s maybe pointing out that the artist responsible for the concept above also did a piece for last year’s event as well, which ended up becoming something that’s actually playable! Hope history repeats itself cuz I really want a game about an all cat band with gross lyrics.

Now, the other show is something you may know nothing about, cuz a. the 16 Bit Models Exhibition has only been around for two years and b, was only open for just one day, hence why it’s fallen under many radars.

Admittedly, I found last year’s assortment a bit more up my alley, most due to my affinity for the obscure. Yet I can still appreciate this very realistic take on the Super Mario Bros (btw, am also sorry that I don’t know who’s responsible for what)…

Along with this realistic take on Pauline and Donkey Kong…

Yet the exhibition was a reminder that not every Nintendo game out there has been paid tribute to death, specifically Urban Champion…

The dioramas are easily the best parts of the 16 Bit Models Exhibition. Here’s an equally impressive one, featuring Castlevania…

Though once again, the obscurer the better, so this tribute to Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa gets a thumbs up from me…

Which is the lesser known game: Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa or City Connection? The latter at least was released on the NES at the time. Then again…

Moving onto fashion, UNIQLO recently unveiled an upcoming line based upon Mario and company. As one might expect from UNIQLO, they look quite nice! Here’s the campaign movie from Japan…

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The best part is that UNIQLO’s entire line is headed towards the US! Was not expecting that. Alas, certain designs are not available to everyone, and I know more than a few adults who wouldn’t mind that Kirby tee. So here comes YUMMY MART to the rescue…

Somewhat along the same lines is Namco enlisting the talents of PAYNUS, who represents some of the esoteric offerings in the Pac-Store…

The constant reference to pizza is something that’s present in both the PAYNUS designs and Namco’s own in-house efforts…

Meanwhile, back at METEOR, in addition to the latest Famicase exhibit, they’ve also been busy with a collab with THUNDERBOX (which I highlighted just a few weeks ago). And from the looks of miki800.com’s post, MOUNTAIN GRAPHICS is also involved? Talk about a holy trinity…

Whereas the previous combination makes sense, the following is… unexpected. Recently discovered that R23X has teamed up with the The Yetee of all folks to produce a line of shirts showcasing glitched VHS stills. Including one that’s game related (technically two; there’s also a crop top version as well)…

Looks neat and all, but I’m less of a Final Fantasy 7 fan and more of a Wave Race 64 aficionado, and would therefore love to see this on a tee…

I’d also love to get my hands on one of these 100 yen pins that @rgb_club posted a couple weeks back, though no word on when it might be available…

Here’s another thing that’s not for sale, mostly cuz there was only one, which is of this baseball player made to look like a Street Fighter…

Which had the better Spinning Bird Kick; Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li…

Or City Hunter (yup, that’s Jackie Chan; via tenshokyaku)…

Sticking with leggy video game stars, thanks to thevideogameartarchive, we finally have an answer as to whether Link is boxers or briefs…

And sticking with Link for just a bit more, I particularly dig nozovis’s summary of the fun times him and Zelda have in Breath of the Wild…

Along those same lines is a zine that @WPR_haru made that’s filled with all the photos he took, one that I’d love to have a copy of…

Which fan art featuring a character from behind do you prefer; this Breath of the Wild piece by James Kochalka…

Or this Overwatch piece by some unknown artist (if anyone knows, plz let me know)…

Here we have @RAStyle85’s Astro City with a lots of buttons, for playing whatever game that requires that many inputs…

And here we have former Taito graphic designer Atsushi Iwata’s custom-built device, for producing pixel graphics!

Such things were used in other places, like SNK. Here we have a quote from someone who worked there, courtesy of videogamesdensetsu…

“The sprite editor used by artists for a number of SNK fighting games (Art Box) was written for the Neo-Geo, and uses the Neo-Geo as the interface. As in, you would use the joystick and the buttons to draw the sprite. He didn’t believe this when he started there, until one of the higher ups showed him by firing up one of the machines and drawing a kickass sprite of Robert Garcia in like 10 minutes”.

Does the Art Box sound familiar? Well, it should be.

The latest from The Gaming Historian, on the creation of the d-pad, answers the one question I’ve had for ages: if Nintendo was able to patent the control input, how were Sega and others able to get away with something seemingly similar?

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Remember the 8bit Harmonica from last week? Well here’s another project involving the Famicom by Ugoita that’s a bit more… random?

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This post has gone on for far too long without any Sega. Time to fix that with some gifs of Sonic from Sega Saturn de Hakken!! Tamagotchi Park, which as you may have guessed is a Tamagotchi title in which you can raise Sonic (and sorry, chilli dogs was Sonic’s fave food in the US, though I believe Sonic Generations would later recon that; via pr0jectneedlemouse)…

Though you can also raise other Sega personalities, like Opa Opa and Alex Kidd, plus even a Mega Drive cart (via grooveonfight)?

Super obscure Sega humor doesn’t get more obscure than this folks (note to self: on the next car trip, bring along the soundtrack to Super Hang-On cuz repeated plays of OutRun and Daytona USA tunes can get old after a while; via dnopls)…

I know the following has been shared liked crazy (hell, even NPR posted the damn thing), and for good reason. All I can say is, Pikachu #14, get your sh*t together…

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Speaking of Pikachu and his pals, The Pokemon Center released a line of Ditto Gachapon figures that are supa kawaii (via retrogamerblog)…

Though the one piece of plastic I want the most is the also recently unveiled Samus from Metroid Prime figure by Good Smile Company, which looks hella cooler than the previously released Other M Figma…

Am embarrassed to admit that I have no idea where this following screenshot is from, nor the tune that accompanies it, both courtesy of radicalhelmet. If anyone would be kind enough to clue me in, would be supremely appreciated…

I wonder what the cover girl of this issue of Spoon is playing (via sixteen-bit)…

And this week’s recommended reading comes courtesy of mah boi Don Miller, and is actually something that Oliver at Minus World also picked up on, which is a book produced by the creator of LSD: Dream Emulator, among other things, and someone I’ve mentioned quite a few times around these parts. It’s called The Art of Computer Designing: A Black and White Approach and is available via archive.org…

As someone who has always planned on transforming an old iMac into a fish tank, thanks to Phazed, I know have other ideas…

And finally, and I also know that I’ve been saying the same thing over and over again, but Super Attractive Club members will be receiving another round up game culture snapshots, hopefully very soon! Until then, please enjoy this still life courtesy of peazy86…

BTW, peazy86 also does music, plus music videos…

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Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

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honestlysoconfused-blog1 · 8 years ago

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Playing a Game

I wrote a thing! Probably all wrong but eh, I had fun writing it.

Key Points

Sherlock series four was created from fandom theories

The fandom is currently playing a ‘Game’ on itself

Evidence in Summary

The number of fan predicted moments that are portrayed in the series

The larger ‘ARG’ elements that have currently been explored (TLS site, Dale Pike) have been ‘exposed’ as being part of the fandom

Foreword

Firstly, my apologies for any mistakes and I honestly encourage anyone to point out flaws or counter arguments or indeed assumptions I have made that could invalidate this argument, because I think healthy scepticism is required when looking at anything currently surrounding Sherlock. I’m also placing this in a essay like format so it should be easier to pick apart or add your own sections/thoughts.

Background - Derren Brown and Prediction Techniques

Derren Brown has always fascinated me and so I have watched a fair amount of his stuff. Certainly not all of it, but enough to start recognising some patterns. The first, of which he seems very fond of, is making things that should be random appear planned. The beauty of doing this is to create a sense of being able to predict the future, or future actions of people. This can be seen in pretty much every show he’s ever done, and I’m not going to pretend I know how he does it, but an example is when, throughout a show, he encouraged a man to take more chances and eventually to bet his savings on the roll of a die. The roll of the die should have been random but obviously ended with it landing oh-so-amazingly on the correct number and the man winning lots of money.

More details here although as it is an old episode, the link to the Channel 4 video no longer works but the comments give you a brief overview: http://derrenbrown.co.uk/derren-discusses-secret-luck/

The second of Brown’s favourites is making things that appear planned random. This I believe is the more key element and is beautifully summarised by a trick he played on a group of people (including David Tennant!) whereupon they were put into a room containing various different coloured playground objects (balls, space hoppers if I remember correctly, sticks, and so on). They were told that a counter (displayed on a large screen for the people to see) had to reach 100 within a set time limit and then they would each win some money. Cue the people running around the room, bashing sticks, grabbing certain coloured items and generally doing stupid and silly things trying to work out the pattern to make the counter go up.

Briefly outlined here (Series Two, episode title - Supersitition): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trick_or_Treat_(TV_series)

The trick?

It was completely random. There was an adjudicator in a completely separate room watching a tank with two fish in, clicking a button whenever one of the fish swam over a line drawn on the tank. This is what made the counter increase. Derren also revealed that there was a briefcase containing a much larger prize of £150 000. If one of the players had decided to step away from the game, wander back a little and look up, they would have seen the a giant sign saying ‘Congratulations, you’ve just won all this money’ or words to that effect (I can’t quite remember whether it was instructions to get to the money, but the point remains the same).

What does this have to do with Sherlock?

The parallel I would like to draw is that the players (the fandom), are staring at the room (series four) full of objects (hints, clues and ‘fuckery’) trying to create an explanation and draw a pattern that will get us to 100 (the explanation, the rug pull, the truth and/or ‘The Lost Special’).

I believe it could also be an explanation as to why so much doesn’t make sense regarding series four and its aftermath.

The Game - Setting the Stage

Here I have to make some assumptions.

The first of these is that there is actually a reason behind series four being, well, bad.

I don’t think anyone can seriously defend the continuity errors, the villainous character repetition[1], the gaping plot holes, the ludicrousness that is a cameraman being left in shot and the show ignoring its own canon[2]. If this is prime-time, heavily promoted television and if there is not a greater plan then all of my argument is invalid, although I would then be questioning the state and sanity of the BBC at large.

However, for now (and frankly because it is more fun) let us believe there is a plan.

The second assumption is that series four as we saw it had not been filmed before the trailers had been released.

On this assumption I would very, very much like people to chip in to either disprove or provide evidence for as - confession time - before series four I was what you would probably call an enthusiastic casual. I certainly knew very little or nothing about the conspiracies[3] and codes[4] and predictions surrounding them[5] but I could read the surface level ones[6] and regularly picked up on the amount of romantic subtext between the characters of Sherlock and John. After series four and being very confused as to why my one time favourite show had turned, to quote, into a parody of itself[7], I sought answers and that led me, naturally, to the online world.

Of note here, I was surprised at the various levels of defence of the show there was on certain platforms (Reddit[8]) whilst anger and disappointment on others (Tumblr and to an extent Twitter[9]). This, unsurprisingly, seemed to run parallel to how much the show was, and is, analysed and the level of dedication the average user has to the show. In other words, ‘casual’ viewers picked up on plot holes but dedicated fans were more likely to be emotive (and therefore later engage in the game).

It is also here where I would like the define the term ‘stage’.

The crowd are who you want to direct, encourage and discourage but what platform this is done on is actually very important. Ethically and morally the I believe platform would have to be ‘open’ and partially anonymous. This is to provide players with an escape route should they need it so a closed platform, such as Facebook, where posts are hidden behind a login wall and are more likely to be linked with personal data, would not be suitable. It also provides the benefit of a larger audience, encouraging others to join in and engage. As Sherlock already had a stable fanbase on Tumblr, this I believe was largely left alone. However, again, as I was not ‘around’ for it, please do counteract this if there were Tumblr specific Sherlock promotions designed to encourage engagement.

The platform to be developed was Twitter, which was actively and officially encouraged first with the live tweeting event[10], then grew unofficially through the Tumblr platform by fans with #Norbury[11] and finally the ‘contact’ accounts of @contactSH and @contactJHW[12]. At present it has been stated that the contact accounts are “not real”[13].

This, in essence, is what I believe the final stage to look like; Tumblr the hardier and staple platform with Twitter as the advertising and set dressing element.

The Game - Gathering a Crowd

The crowd, to a large extent, already existed but I suspect has quietly been grown amongst ‘casual’ viewers like myself.

Much of this is hesitant guesswork but certain articles on the actor’s private lives and the rumours around Sherlock’s possible cancellation[14] which has previously never been in question strike me as a deliberate ploy to garner more attention from populist media (The Mirror, The Sun etc.).

However, as there are ‘real human lives’ at stake with this particularly on the first point regarding people’s private lives, I do not encourage further rumours or any assumptions made on my opinion. Simply take it as that - an opinion. As to the implication of my opinion - are the rumours true? - again on the first point I would actively encourage not to think about the content but rather the means, motive and opportunity of said rumours. The means by which they were reported, the motive of doing so - which I have already stated I believe to be a plot to get more people actively engaged - and the opportunities that arise.

Reaching an un-engaged audience through manipulative mediums (which populist media are, give them the hint of a scandal and they lap it up) to pull in more potential players also nicely mirrors the pointed warnings in Sherlock series three - “I don't have to prove it, I just have to print it”.

The Game - Selecting the Players and Providing Motivation

The guide the audience one must next pick key players that - knowingly or not - guide the wider mass. It is here that my assumption of series four not being filmed until after the trailer had been released comes into focus.

In order to make your audience trust the players and follow their lead, one must make them credible. The easiest way to do that regarding a television show is to validate their theories - people are more likely trust someone who has been right about a plot theory or arc before. Here I will decline to mention any specific accounts or names, and I endeavour to remember the real human lives element. However there is a startling correlation with series four following predictions made on Tumblr. [I may here ask said accounts for permission to name them, but for now out of respect I would like to leave them out but encourage others to look at who predicted what.]

At this point there is one key element missing - the motivation to play. It has to be carefully implanted and made big enough to distract and focus everyone’s attention: this is, I believe, ‘The Lost Special’[15] and possibly the affirmation of a canonical, romantic relationship between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock[16a]. On a wider scale though, the prize could simply be ‘the thing that makes the series make sense[16b].

With key players selected, validated and motivated the next step is to start directing them towards playing the game itself.

The Game - The Room of Random Objects

Continuing on the first assumption, creating a series based off fan predictions has the dual benefit of not only validating the players but providing the perfect room of random objects.

Each clue, visual or textual error becomes an object on which the players can focus, discuss and generally ‘play with’ and the potential randomness of where the mind of the crowd will turn becomes much easier to predict. The mind of the fandom has essentially been mirrored.

It also accounts for the clues that didn’t amount to anything, namely the 8th of March, which taken in this context actually provides further proof of this theory. The reveal - nothing happened - is that there is no real game.

The problem here is that using the Derren Brown room metaphor the stated prize is cheap and the potential larger reward comes from stepping away from the game. If we believe that they are using this gameplan rather than another, a reward will be given at the end but it will not be as great or satisfying as if the players were to step back. In contrast to this point, the motivation of the gamemaster must be taken in account.

In the Derren Brown series he is the gamemaster and his motivation is to make a television show, get some people looking silly on camera, and provide an important message about confirmation bias.

Is this the same message being put forward? Or is there another message?

What is the motivation of the gamemasters, if I am correct, in this case? And does the second, larger prize exist?

I do not know.

But on the off chance I am right, here I am, making the point.

In Conclusion

Series four of Sherlock was a huge disappointment and the possibility of redeeming it is very tempting. It’s dragged me here, to Tumblr actually posting this, a place I never thought I would find myself.

However, knowing that the writers are clever, and that at least one is a friend of Derren Brown (and who of course appeared in the show itself), I can’t help but think we are, or where, being played and played against ourselves. Such a thing is fun initially, yes, but at some point the game must end.

If it doesn’t, or it doesn’t exist, and if they truly, unequivocally and totally defend series four as it currently stands then I shall remember series one to three of Sherlock as being fantastic.

References, evidence bits and expansions on points

[1] Toby Jones’ character Smith is described as the most “dangerous and despicable” man Sherlock has ever come across, very nearly the exact words used to describe Magnussen. Moriarty is also described as the most dangerous man Sherlock had ever faced.

[2] In His Last Vow (series three) the character of Sherlock Holmes is shot in the chest, prompting the character of Molly Hooper to remark “It’s not like how it is in the movies. There’s no great spurt of blood and you go flying backwards.” However, in The Six Thatchers (series four) the character of Mary Watson is also shot in the chest; shown jumping in front of the bullet (flying backwards) as blood spurts from the wound. In His Last Vow, the character of John Watson is shown burning the AGRA memory stick which contains the details of Mary Watson’s life before she met him. In The Six Thatchers the character of Sherlock Holmes explicitly states “she destroyed it” referring to the memory stick and Mary Watson. There are many more examples.

[3, 4 and 5] TJLC, Tie Hell, The Elephant in the Room as examples.

[6] The mirrors between characters, of note John Watson’s girlfriend in A Scandal in Belgravia and Molly Hooper’s boyfriend ‘Tom’.

[7] https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/jan/16/sherlock-how-the-tv-phenomenon-became-an-annoying-parody-of-itself and http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/features/sherlock-season-4-episode-one-benedict-cumberbatch-martin-freeman-tv-series-mary-watson-amanda-a7509261.html

[8] Despite pointing out plotholes, the general impression is of enjoyment with a comment thread about enjoying the episode having 2000+ points and plothole threads ranging from the hundreds to low 1000+ Whether or not this a true reflection of being annoyed by said plotholes or amused with the comment delivery could be debated: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sherlock/comments/5o6t49/the_final_problem_postepisode_discussion_thread/

[9] As Tumblr and Twitter are a more fluid platform this is harder to prove, but I saw the Tumblr reaction firsthand trying to find explanations/theories, and nearly all of the posts were pointing out plot holes or attempting to find a redemption with the ‘Secret Fourth Episode’ theory. This article notes a ‘mixed’ reaction on Twitter: http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2017-01-17/31-tweets-that-perfectly-sum-up-the-mixed-reaction-to-sherlock

[10] http://www.bbc.co.uk/events/efwwhn/live/c36g9r

[11] I’m reluctant to link the Buzzfeed article as it was written by a user named Christopher Melas which may or may not be a reference to the BBC John Watson’s blog post The Geek Interpreter. Whether this article is then a reliable narration of events can be questioned: https://www.buzzfeed.com/chrismelas/twitter-is-destroying-bbc-sherlock-right-now-2ssvd?utm_term=.cxzeqXBgXX#.pqywAKR9KK

[12] https://twitter.com/contactsh?lang=en and https://twitter.com/contactJHW

[13] https://twitter.com/joelidster/status/821029727439900672

[14] http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/sherlock-end-because-benedict-cumberbatch-9635585 and http://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2017/01/17/sherlocks-cold-shoulder-could-cumberbatch-freemans-frosty-relationship/ and https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/2629818/sherlocks-benedict-cumberbatch-and-martin-freeman-cast-doubt-over-further-series-due-to-frosty-friendship/

[15] http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2017-01-23/steven-moffat-responds-to-fan-theory-about-a-secret-fourth-sherlock-episode

[16a and 16b] I don’t believe in demanding plots from writers and if this is truly not the story the writers want to tell, so be it. (On the one-in-a-billion chance anyone of note reads this: why not, though? Really, genuinely curious, why not?) But I will damn well demand that the plot makes sense and this series had plot holes and nonsense in abundance.

#sherlock arg #sherlock meta #my meta #first post oh god

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musingsdeme · 8 years ago

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Pantry

Happy Birthday to the absolutely incredible @alullabytoleaveby. I am late, but it’s not less filled with love for that. For your birthday I give you, two dorks in love being domestic as hell.

ao3

Cas reads the cereal boxes. The backs of them. The long, indecipherable lists of the ingredients, and the percent daily calcium intake, and the weird little blurbs on the front with weird cartoon characters; Cas reads them all. He reads them all painstakingly. Dean knows this because he has been standing in the cereal aisle, watching Cas read the cereal boxes painstakingly for, he looks down and consults his watch, thirteen minutes and forty-three seconds. It was cute for two minutes. Cas had that little furrow between his brows and he was squinting as he read. There was something just fucking…fucking endearing as shit about Cas giving that much attention to fucking breakfast food. But Christ, it’s been fucking, Dean looks at his watch again, fourteen and a half minutes, and how long can the guy keep critiquing Tony the goddamn Tiger.

“Casssssss,” Dean whines, “just pick one already, c’mon.”

Almost in slow motion, Cas lifts his head, looks at Dean, and raises one perfect eyebrow as if to say, “excuse you, foolish mortal.”

Dean blinks, for a moment struck dumb by Cas’ cocked eyebrow and challenging expression, before collecting his thoughts and forcing out an eye roll.

“We’ve been here for fifteen minutes,” he points out, “just grab a box and let’s go. We don’t have all day.”

Cas’ eye brow ticks a centimeter higher because, no, actually, Dean, we do have all day. He’s gracious enough to not point that out. Instead, he spreads his arms, Frosted Mini Wheats in one hand, Cocoa Pebbles in the other. He looks vaguely lordly, loose fitting grey sweater, dark washed jeans, five o’clock shadow, and all.

“Dean,” he begins, “You may not have noticed, but we are standing in an aisle devoted to nothing but cereals—”

Oh shit, Dean thinks, here we go.

“—of different flavors, textures, and dietary benefits, some of which I am not certain are even worth the calories it would take to masticate them. Did you know—”

Dean looks up to the ceiling, hoping to encounter salvation amongst the obnoxious florescent lights and industrial metal work.

“—that there no fewer than sixteen flavors of Cheerios alone?”

He ducks his chin and stares almost conspiratorially at Dean as if there is some secret they both know about the prodigious variety of Cheerios flavors, a dark, disturbing secret. Dean has no fucking clue what that’s about, and he eyes the Fruity Cheerios warily, his nose crinkling: now that he thinks about it, they do seem weird …when the hell did they even start making Fruity Cheerios? Were Fruity Pebbles just not good enough anymore? And, fuck; Dean’s mouth curls, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios? That’s like a fucking travesty and insult to pie.

Wait, no. He shakes his head; he’s not getting sucked into this.

Cas nods sagely at him, apparently pleased that Dean understands that Cheerios, and possibly the entire General Mills corporation, are not to be trusted, and Dean almost bursts out laughing, but catches himself just in time. He bites his lip instead. Laughing will only provoke a Rant, Capital-R Rant, the kind where Cas uses “abomination” at least twice to describe relatively mild inconveniences.

“I’ll grant you, there do not need to be that many flavors of Cheerios,” Dean concedes, Cas smiles, smug.

“But,” Dean continues, “you still gotta pick a box, Cas. If you don’t like it, we’ll get you a different kind next week. It’s not life or death.”

Cas frowns at Dean, then frowns at the boxes in his hands, and then frowns at the sign for aisle fifteen as if it has personally wronged him. He grips the boxes harder than necessary. His mouth twists in frustration. He places them both back on the shelf, stalks away. Dean grabs the cart handle, ready to chase after him, but Cas returns. He shoves a box at Dean’s chest.

His face is blank. Curiously blank. “Strange celestial being is new to earth and does not understand your silly human customs” blank. Except Cas is not new to earth, he understands way more than he lets on, and there is a tiny, almost invisible smirk lurking at the corner of his lips.

He intercepts Dean’s hold on the cart and wheels away, like an ex-angel on a mission, while Dean is left standing in aisle fifteen holding a box of Fiber One Bran Cereal.

“Fiber is important for men of your age, Dean,” Cas calls back as he rounds the corner to aisle fourteen. Dean blinks down at the box, blinks at Cas, looks up at the ceiling for help.

“Son of bitch,” he mumbles, “good for a man of your—that’s rich coming from someone literally older than dirt!” He yells as a woman and her toddler come around the corner.

She draws up, offended. He fumbles the cereal box and blushes, “Not you, ma’am, I was talking to my—that is, I—you’re a beautiful, young, clearly, prime of—”

She scowls at him, wholly unimpressed.

“Right, so I’m gonna just,” he jerks his thumb behind him, “go now, so you, uh, you have a nice—”

Dean grabs the nearest box of Captain Crunch as he turns on his heel and half runs half stumbles out of the cereal aisle.

Cas is not snickering, exactly, but he is contemplating the pastas with way too much glee when Dean rounds the corner. He’s snickering on the inside. Dean knows it. He can feel it.

He narrows his eyes. Cas has a bag of Rigatoni in one hand, and a bag of Linguini in the other, in a row filled with at least four different brands and twenty different styles of pasta. Dean realizes suddenly, with a bone crushing weight of dread, that this is going to be a long, long, long, fucking long ass day.

God he fucking hates grocery shopping.

Dean has legitimate reasons to hate grocery stores. For starters: too many people, two few exits. It’s a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation in terms of manageable escape routes. Then there’s the aisles: rows and rows and rows and rows and fucking rows of metal shelving, stacked full of boxes, and cans, and who knows what else at least three feet deep. The damn things are heavy, full, and the space between them too narrow. If one of the things falls over? Splat. That’s it. ��Game over. He and every other mother fucker in here will be smashed flat like an Aunt Jemima pancake (two for one in aisle thirteen) in a domino-effect topple. Don’t even get him started on the grocery carts: more like infant death traps and grown man traffic jams. He’s seen little old ladies start screaming matches about who could go first through the aisle with their overstocked carts to buy the last can of cranberry sauce. It was NOT pretty.

You know what else is not pretty? Grocery stores. Everything is beige. What the fuck is up with that? The tile is always this weird off white speckled with brown and black, so you can’t tell what’s decorative and what’s dirt. Sam thinks that Dean’s over exposure to garish motel room décor and livid crime scene carnage has made him wary of anything colored neutrally. Dean thinks that Sam is not properly appalled by the way that grocery store chains use interior design decisions to potentially mask health code violations. He’s threatened, on more than one occasion, to dig out his health inspector badge and take it for a spin, but Sam has, so far, managed to put a kibosh on that idea…so far…

Then there is the music. God, the fucking music. Could they at least turn on a damn radio station instead of this weird pre-ordained mix of top forty and smooth listening? Who the hell thought that was a good idea? Every time he thinks that he’s finally managed to just tune it out enough to be aware of his surroundings and focus on his shopping, an announcement comes on over the speakers five times louder than the music had been, making Dean jump out of his skin and reach for his gun, which would, if he pulled it, cause an entirely new set of issues.

It would be great if the grocery store sold liquor, and even better if Dean could just casually down shots as he worked his way through his shopping list. At least alcohol would take the edge off, never mind that he’s supposed to be giving (modified) sobriety a try.

The real thing he hates about grocery stores, the real goddamn clincher, is that Dean has never been inside one when he didn’t feel like he had a target on his back.

As a kid, he ventured into these places when dad was away on hunts and he and Sam finally ran out of food. He would take the crumpled up bills that dad gave him, walk the however many blocks to the store, holding Sammy with one hand and a shopping basket with the other. Dean was good at math from an early age; it’s easy to be good at math when you have to figure out how far you can stretch five dollars for two weeks of food. The cashiers sometimes looked at him fondly, sometimes suspiciously, and Dean learned quickly that a sure smile would do him a lot better than uncertain eyes. He walked into grocery stores worried how far the money would stretch; he walked out of them praying what they had bought would be enough and feeling the grown up gazes watching him walk off with his little brother in tow. Don’t call the cops, he prayed, don’t call the cops.

When he was in his teens, he chanted the same mantra. Dad’s oversized jacket was Dean’s constant companion. It pulled chicks and a few boys in hidden corners behind the high school, but it also had deep pockets and an inner lining that made it easy to hide bread and peanut butter, and a small carton of milk. He would smirk and smile and use two dollars to buy juice, and his jacket to hide the rest. He hated the families with their full carts and full purses. He knew it was unfair, he knew it was stupid, but he hated the whole damn store. There was enough for him and Sammy here and a hundred kids besides, but fucking god forbid if he got caught leaving with a jar of peanut butter. He sweated more shoplifting the first few times than he did on his first hunt. If he fucked up on a hunt, Dean got hurt. If he fucked up stealing, Sammy went hungry.

As a young man, he hated how he got the money to pay for food. He was proud that he had it, proud that he provided for his brother, provided for himself, but…the money felt dirty sometimes. There were stains on some of the bills, and Dean knew where they came from, who they had come from. It made him cringe. Made him hate the whole damn system. Not to mention that he was wary enough of the world, by this point, to feel claustrophobic in a store this big, a store with so few doors and too many people, any one of whom could be a monster in disguise. It made him feel like something was crawling at the back of his neck. He rushed out of there with his bags in hand and his tarnished pride left behind in the cash drawer.

When he lived on the road with Sam, he avoided grocery shopping. It wasn’t like they needed food for a nonexistent kitchen.

When he lived a year with Lisa, she did the shopping. Dean begged off and she let him. He was a mess, she was probably afraid he’d start shooting up the place.

Now he lives in the bunker, which has an industrial kitchen. Now he lives with Sam who wants all sorts of green, organic tofu nonsense. Now he lives with Cas who, newly fallen, is experiencing the joys (and disappointments) of food for the first time. Now he is living in a home and discovering that he likes…no, he fucking loves, cooking for his family.

So here he is, in the grocery store, shopping with an indecisive, very thorough former angel/brand new human, who has never actually tasted…well, anything, and a grocery list that includes about a hundred things, only about half of which Dean’s actually ever seen, and a very, very long afternoon ahead of him.

Cas fucking loves the grocery store. That much is apparent. Cas likes missions. He especially likes mission that he chooses himself. Hence, his careful, tactical, precise contemplation of every item on their list and some besides. Dean has been a human for going on almost forty years (a man of his age, Cas had said, jerk) and he finds this place overwhelming as fuck. He’s not sure how Cas is managing.

“I’ve made a plan,” Cas says, squinting at a bag of Rotini.

“Huh?”

“You asked why I wasn’t more overwhelmed,” Cas responds, “I googled the store layout before we came, cross checked that with our grocery list, and prepared a “plan of attack.””

Dean blinks, impressed, but not surprised.

Castiel puts the rotini pack on the shelf and picks up a bag of fusili, “I made a flow chart with our planned recipes for the week and our household grocery list, broke that into an ingredient list, organized said list by the products and then adjusted for the organization of aisles at this particular store.”

“That’s intense, Cas.”

Cas shrugs, “I like being prepared. Which of these is more texturally pleasing?”

“I think it’s less about the texture and more about how the shit absorbs the sauce.”

Cas tilts his head, frowns, and considers the bags of pasta in his hands.

“Which of these do you think has better sauce retention?”

Dean chuckles, “I dunno, man.”

Cas rolls his eyes, “You’re the chef in this family.”

Dean’s heart flutters like it does every time Cas calls them a family, but he tries to put that aside and focus on Cas’ question. He scrutinizes the proffered bags.

“Hmmm…” He makes a show of squinting at the contents and purses his lips dramatically

“Dean, this mortal life is finite, and I’d rather not waste it contemplating pasta.”

Dean looks up through his lashes, “Says the guy who spent an hour choosing a cereal.”

“It was hardly an hour, Dean,” huffs Cas.

“Sure it wasn’t.”

“Deeeaaaannnn.”

Dean grins up at Cas, “Neither of these.”

He replaces fusilli and rigatoni with farfalle and penne. Holding each up for Cas before adding them to the cart.

“These ones look like bowties,” he says, “and these you can turn into whistles.”

Cas’ mouth twists, half exasperated, half amused, “And yet neither embodies the quality you suggested we look for in a pasta.”

Dean shrugs, “Like you said, I’m the chef in this family.”

They add four boxes of lasagna noodles because Cas and Dean are making a veggie lasagna for Sam and a lasagna Bolognese for themselves.

“What’s next?” Dean asks leaning over Cas’ shoulder to peer at his list.

Cas smiles at Dean’s proximity, at Dean’s hand on his waist. Dean smiles because Cas smiles. It turns into a feedback loop for a moment.

“You wanted to make chili?”

“Yep,” Dean lets the ‘p’ pop obnoxiously.

“Then the canned goods are next.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “Lead the way.”

Cas does.

The canned goods aisle gives him the creeps. For starters, it reminds him of his trip to 2014, when 2014 was years in the future and not years in the past. He half expects Chuck to appear around the corner, rambling about toilet paper shortages and mass grocery runs. Secondly, it reminds him of his childhood when he invented over a hundred ways to prepare spaghetti-o’s, only about a tenth of which were actually good. Thirdly, they weigh down the damned cart like nobody’s business, and if he’s gonna get crushed to death in a grocery store, this is the aisle where it would happen.

Old habits die hard, so Dean loads down the cart with “worst case scenario the bunker is called the Bunker for a reason” provisions, while Cas squats down to scrutinize canned beans.

“I don’t understand what the difference is,” he complains.

By the time Dean has made a third trip to deposit an armful of emergency rations to the bottom rack of the grocery cart, Cas has built a small pyramid of black beans each with a different label professing a different brand, preservation technique, or flavoring style.

Dean’s knees groan when he squats down to Cas’ level.

“I think we would be better off buying beans that haven’t been preserved in large amounts of sodium.”

His mouth twists in disdain. Dean tries really, really hard not to laugh. He coughs pointedly and clears his throat, while Cas rises quickly to his feet and wheels away dramatically, muttering about heart disease, manufacturing plants, and “not as god intended.”

Dean, much slower to get to his feet, shakes his head and shoves his hands in his pockets, smiling brightly as he follows in Cas’ wake.

There’s a fifty-fifty shot that Cas will be charmed or disgusted by human inventions. Dean’s never sure if he’s going to have a Little Mermaid moment or a Smitey McSmiterson rage fest. Both are endearing because Dean’s just that in love with the dork. Strolling behind Cas as he mutters darkly about dangerous preservatives like the hipster health nut he so surely is, is so bizarrely awesome that, by the time he makes it to the next aisle, Dean’s cheeks hurt from grinning.

Dean is big on samples at the grocery store. One, because they’re free (duh!). Two, because they’re usually shit he’s never gonna buy so he might as well enjoy it as a perk for all the shopping related stress.

He bats his eyes at the little old lady giving out slices of apples, makes small talk with the middle aged man giving out tiny cups of soup, and he grabs five little coffee cups and runs from the exasperated kid at the coffee cart.

At the deli counter, though, you get to ask for what type of sample you want and they’re give it to you.

Dean does it for the hell of it. Cas tries things so that he knows what he likes and doesn’t (Cas’ lack of food experience is a travesty that Dean considers it his mission in life to correct).

Cas’ running commentary and fluid, completely unfiltered facial expressions bring joy to Dean’s life, but generally seem to concern the delicatessen employees.

Dean comes up with a different lie to explain it every time: amnesia, he recently regained his sense of taste, he just woke up from a coma, he’s ending a lifelong commitment to vegetarianism.

Today, Dean tells them that Cas was a monk, living a completely aesthetic life.

“Free from pleasures of the flesh,” Dean shakes his head sorrowfully and then wraps his arm around Cas’ shoulder, “that’s all over now, ain’t it, Cas?”

Cas, who has just bitten into a piece of bella donna cheese, moans appreciatively, and Dean laughs until he can’t breathe.

Cas, who enraptured by the cheese, had missed the exchange, and is not sure why Dean’s laughing so hard, places their order with a lot of side eye to Dean. The poor son of a bitch working the counter has to tolerate Dean’s increasingly hysterical laughter and his increasingly complex array of sexual innuendo about pepperoni and aged cheese.

Dean’s favorite section of the store is, without doubt, the bakery. It smells amazing: flour and butter and yeast. There are shelves filled with muffins, trays of pastry fresh out of the oven. There are bins of bagels in a dozen different flavors, cases of cookies: chocolate chip, macadamia nut, oatmeal raisin, sugar cookies with sprinkles and icing made to look like animals and characters. Cupcakes with frosting piled high sit next to cakes ready to be decorated for birthdays and graduations and welcome homes.

Dean’s never had a grandmother, but he always imagined that if he had had one, her house would have smelled like this, warm and inviting and delicious.

Cas is enraptured by the breads: all the different shapes and textures and smells. He sniffs at them with rapturous eyes and listens carefully to the sound they make when he presses down on the crust.

Dean makes a beeline for the pies. Ugh, the pies. Freshly made that morning and gloriously golden even in the shitty grocery store lighting. He can’t decide between Triple Berry and Apple, so he adds them both to the cart. Cas makes his own contribution of Italian bread, French Brioche, and a dozen croissants. He also, with a kiss to Dean’s cheek, add a box of cookies made to look like the bat signal.

“My husband’s the best,” Dean declares, grinning like a moron and holds up the box as proof to the nearest shopper.

She nods bemusedly as Dean scurries to catch up to Cas, squeezing his ass (Cas has a great ass) and kissing his neck when he does.

The butcher��s shop is a trial. Some days, Dean loves it, some days, he remembers the Mark of Cain or the most recent hunt and he feels bile in the back of his throat. Cas wears a frown not like he’s distressed, more like he’s mentally recreating the physiology of whatever animal they’re looking at and contemplating how best to rebuild it from the parts available, which creeps Dean out, being, himself, a fleshy creature that Cas once rebuilt from available parts. He pats his own chest, making sure that he’s still intact.

“Dean,” Cas says as he eyes the steaks, “it always surprises me the way in which trade has shaped the evolution of food consumption in this country.”

“Does it?”

“Yes. Just a hundred years ago, if you wanted a cow to eat, you would have had to raise it yourself until maturity and then slaughter and preserve the meat…or, of course, an alternative would be to build a trading relationship of some kind with a neighboring human who raised and slaughtered cows and exchange a different slaughtered animal or material good in exchange for dead flesh.”

“That’s fascinating, Cas.”

“The railroad was instrumental in making trade across long distances possible. I recently watched a special on PBS in which…”

Dean places their order while Cas continues the economic history and technological evolution of the cattle industry in the US, which segues into his insistence they purchase free range chicken only, and Dean needing to explain that PETA is not really the best organization to join up with if Cas wants to advocate for animal rights.

Cas loves the produce section as much as Dean loves the bakery, if not more. He loves the textures and colors. He loves his unfiltered ability to touch and investigate everything. Dean loves watching him explore. It’s a good thing too because it takes him forever to make his way through (that’s why the produce section is their last stop).

Cas holds out herbs for Dean to smell and smiles joyfully at Dean’s reactions, be they sneezes or nods of approval. He laughs when Dean juggles oranges, charming a nearby child as well Cas with his antics, and giving a theatrical bow when he’s finished. Cas gives him a kiss and the kid gives him a round of applause, both of which Dean accepts graciously.

He listens to Dean’s opinions of different types of apple with absolute focus, and he shares mini lectures on the uses, both culinary and ritualistic, of different fruits and vegetables and spices. It takes them over a half an hour to gather all the things that Cas wants to try and all the things Sam had asked for and all the things that Dean knows he likes, but it feels like the quickest stop on their trip because they’re both relaxed.

Dean provides commentary on Okay magazine articles while they wait in the checkout line, thinking of Bobby as he does so. Cas rolls his eyes good naturedly, digging their reusable shopping bags out from where they’ve been buried beneath their shopping. Dean is the type of person who goes grocery shopping with reusable bags these days (or, he’s at least married to and brother to people who bring reusable bags to the grocery store). That’s a thing. Cas’ extraction is careful and delicate. Dean helps Cas’ work by providing comedic background noise.

Dean slips an arm around Cas waist while he proffers coupon after coupon after coupon for the cashier. She’s a teenager, but she smiles at them the way that Dean smiles at babies: like they’re the cutest goddamn thing. He’s not sure how he feels about that: he’s a grown man after all, but Cas seems entirely unfazed by the adoration.

The light outside is different when they leave than when they entered: it’s getting on towards dinner time. They load their groceries into the trunk of the Impala, send Sam a text with an ETA so he knows to come up and help unload their stuff when they get home.

Cas reaches over and takes Dean’s hand as they pull out of the parking lot, and Dean laces their fingers more securely together, smiling as Cas turns on the radio and they hit the road.

When they get back, Sam helps them unload everything and unpack everything.

Cas rehashes the conversation that he and Dean had had about the meat industry. Sam, unsurprisingly, perks up eagerly at the topic.

“Have you read Upton Sinclair, Cas? You might really enjoy it.”

“Woah. No,” Dean interjects, throwing up a hand, “Not before I make my Lasagna, you’re not.”

“Good point,” Sam says, suitably contrite.

Cas considers them with squinted eyes and then refocuses on Sam, “Sam?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“How much do you know about the General Mills Company?”

Dean busts out laughing, doubles over, and can’t stop for ten minutes (“Dean, this isn’t funny! This is a very serious concern.”).

When he does finish laughing, he shoos Sam away from the stove, oven, and counter, (he loves his brother, but Sam could literally burn water), and sets him to chopping vegetables. Dean dons his “Kiss the Cook” apron, puckers up his lips, and Cas obliges him, before returning to his verbal tirade against General Mills.

Dean makes the sauce; Cas makes the pasta; Sam chops anything they need chopped, and keeps their glasses filled with wine.

Dinner is delicious when it’s done. Warm and filling. Fresh vegetables, homemade sauce and sautéed meat; the bread is warm and crisp and Dean uses it to sop up the extra sauce on his plate. They’re all groaning and relaxed by the time they’re done, smiling contentedly.

Dean surveys his family. Sam places the apple pie in the oven (“I can turn on the oven and set a timer without burning down the bunker, Dean.” “This place has survived fifty years but I don’t know if it can survive your cooking.”)

Cas rubs his foot against Dean’s calf under the table and shakes his head fondly at their bickering.

The pie is as good as it smelled earlier, but it can’t beat how warm and content Dean feels eating it here in this company.

When the dishes have been cleaned and the (few) leftovers put away, they curl up in the family room. When Dean kisses Cas, he tastes like apples and cinnamon, and Dean hums in pleasure.

“You know, Cas,” Dean smiles, “I think we might have to go back for more pie.”

Cas shakes his head and smiles, “Next weekend, Dean.”

“It’s a date.”

#I LOVE YOU EMI #deancas #destiel #domestic fluff

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