#also I got the permission of the author to post this little story so

[nadiajustbe]

I cannot express how much I LOVE small fandoms because we're all actually like a small village of two and half people where everyone knows everyone and I mean in in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE because this bring the funniest stories ever.

Probably one of my most precious fandom experience I've ever had in a HUGE time of my internet existence happened because I was following one really cool modern AU hmc book fanfiction. And when I really like something I engage with it as much as it's possible to do so, and so I was leaving a pretty big comments (1k+ words each) under every chapter just ranting about the plot, my emotions, predictions and also fitting in some of my favourite hcs. Me and the author had a little chat in the comments for a while, and that's not the main point of the story, but we had pretty similar visions and headcanons for the characters and were both laughing about it.

The funniest thing happened when in one of the chapters they randomly mentioned one of my favourite, random fandom rare pairs, never mentioned anywhere in the fanfiction fandom page before (yes, Justiman. It WAS Justiman) as a canon in the fix instead of canonical pair-up the characters had.

Needless to say I was the happiest person in the world, immediately writing a huge paragraph about how I was absolutely sure that I was the only person shopping them and how good it fit into all the other small details in the fic. Then, between the lines, I asked them where did they get the idea of a ship, because god how happy I was. They said they got the idea from Tumblr and immediately jumped aboard. I asked If they can tell me the name of the account. They did.

It was.

My account.

[scarletwinterxx]

cluelessly yours - jeon wonwoo imagine

helloo ~ i'm back, was gone for a while bcs i was busy with work and life in general🥺 it's almost the end of 2024. i'm not sure yet how many more fics i'll post before this year ends but for now here's another cute story. hope you enjoyyyyy

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)

You’re in your favorite café with a slice of chocolate cake and a steaming mug of hot cocoa. It’s your sanctuary—sweet, cozy, and entirely stress-free. That is, until Wonwoo slides into the seat across from you, wearing his usual hoodie and that slightly smug but mostly unreadable expression.

“Hey,” he greets casually, sipping his black coffee like it’s the nectar of life.

“Hey,” you mumble back through a mouthful of cake, barely glancing up. You’re trying not to think about how soft his hair looks today.

“So…” He leans forward slightly, setting his coffee down. “What kind of chocolates do girls like?”

Your fork freezes mid-air. “What?”

“Chocolates,” he repeats, his voice almost suspiciously nonchalant. “Like…what’s a good kind to buy? You know…for a girl.”

Oh. For a girl. Your heart sinks, but you keep your expression neutral. Of course, it’s for her.

“Uh, I guess…” You poke at your cake, suddenly uninterested in eating. “Milk chocolate is a safe bet. Might be boring to some, but personally it's my fave”

He nods thoughtfully, like you just revealed the secret to the universe. “What about flowers? Roses? Or is that…too much?”

You feel your patience thinning. How considerate he is. For her. “Roses are fine, daises are cute too. Or sunflowers” you say, trying not to sound clipped. “Why? Who’s the lucky girl?”

Wonwoo nearly chokes on his coffee. “No one!” he blurts, a little too quickly. “I was just…curious.”

From a table nearby, Mingyu and Hao exchange wide-eyed glances. You and Wonwoo complete unaware your other friends are also a the cafe.

Mingyu gestures wildly with his spoon, clearly saying something like, Are you seeing this? Hao just shakes his head, muttering, “Idiots.”

“Well,” you say, plastering on a fake smile. “Good luck impressing her.”

Wonwoo frowns slightly but doesn’t respond. He just sips his coffee in silence, while you silently curse the unfairness of the universe.

The next day, you walk into your first class of the day to find a small box of chocolates sitting on your usual seat.

“For me?” you whisper to yourself, picking it up.

It’s a fancy box, with a ribbon and everything. You examine it like it’s a puzzle, your brain spinning. Is this from Wonwoo? Or maybe Mingyu, pulling some kind of prank?

As if summoned by your thoughts, Wonwoo appears in the doorway. He stops short when he sees you holding the chocolates.

“Oh, uh…” He scratches the back of his neck. “You found those.”

You tilt your head at him. “You…left these for me?”

“Yeah.” He shuffles his feet awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. “You like chocolate, right?”

“I mean, yeah,” you say, your heart doing an involuntary somersault. “But I thought you didn’t like chocolate?”

“I don’t,” he admits, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “But…you do.”

The simplicity of his words hits you like a ton of bricks. You stare at him, unsure whether to laugh, cry, or throw the chocolates at him.

From the other side of the library, Mingyu peeks out from behind a shelf. “Can you believe this guy?” he whispers to Hao.

Hao just shakes his head again. “She’s not getting it. And he’s terrible at this. We might actually need a miracle.”

You don’t know how you got roped into this. One moment you were joking with Wonwoo about his gaming obsession, and the next you were sitting on his couch, controller in hand, with the eerie music of a zombie horror game echoing around the room.

“Are you sure about this?” you ask nervously

“You’ll be fine,” Wonwoo says, smirking as he starts the game. “Just follow me.”

You squint at the screen. “How do I even move?!”

Wonwoo laughs, leaning over to press a button on your controller. His shoulder brushes yours, and you momentarily forget how to breathe

“There,” he says, sitting back. “Now just keep up.”

Easier said than done. The first zombie jumps out, and you scream so loudly that Wonwoo pauses the game, laughing so hard he doubles over

“Okay, okay,” he says, wiping tears from his eyes. “Let’s take a deep breath. I’ll protect you, alright?”

You glare at him, clutching a pillow for moral support. “If I die, it’s your fault.”

Of course, ten minutes later, your character is cornered by a horde of zombies, and instead of helping, Wonwoo is laughing too hard to aim properly.

“You’re useless!” you yell, swatting at him with the pillow.

“You’re the one who threw the controller at me!” he retorts, holding his stomach as he laughs. It ended a few rounds later when you threatened to throw his controller out the window when he won't stop laughing at you.

The next time you hangout with him it was like any other evening with your group of friends.

You, Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Hao had gathered in the living room, sprawled across the couches and floor, the usual banter flying around. The air was relaxed, yet you couldn’t help but notice how quiet Wonwoo had been. You assumed it was just his usual introspective mood.

You were snuggled up on the couch, trying to avoid looking at him too much, your heart betraying you every time his voice sounded a little too close.

However, it didn’t take long for Mingyu and Hao to notice the silent war happening between you two. You were both pretending like nothing was going on, when, clearly, everything was going on.

Mingyu, as usual, didn’t have the patience to wait for you both to work things out on your own. He got up from the couch with a dramatic flair and walked toward the center of the room, crossing his arms.

“Alright,” he announces, his voice carrying a sense of authority that you knew meant trouble. “I’ve had enough.”

You and Wonwoo both look at him, completely clueless.

Mingyu takes a deep breath, looking between the two of you. “This nonsense ends today. No more pretending. I’m putting an end to this charade.”

“Charade? What charade?” you stammer, glancing at Wonwoo, who is equally confused

Minghao, who had been sitting quietly with his phone, lets out an exaggerated sigh, clearly more annoyed than anything else. He taps the screen for a moment before looking up, his voice dry as ever. “You two are hopeless.”

“Totally hopeless,” Mingyu agrees, then points directly at you. “You like him.”

You blink. “What? I—no, I don’t.”

“Oh, please,” Mingyu scoffs, rolling his eyes “You literally get flustered when he speaks to you. And let’s not forget how you always act weird when he does something nice. Like the chocolates he brought you? Come on.”

You glare at Mingyu. “You’re imagining things. I like sweets, that’s all.”

Mingyu leans closer, voice dropping to a mockingly serious tone. “Sweets, huh? That’s what they’re calling it these days?”

“I—” You start to protest, but before you can finish, Mingyu swivels toward Wonwoo with a pointed look

“And you!” Mingyu practically growls. “What’s with all the mysterious questions about what girls like? The whole ‘do girls like milk chocolate?’ and ‘roses or something else?’” He throws his arms up dramatically. “You don’t need a whole investigation, Wonwoo. We all know you’re talking about her. Stop playing dumb!”

You freeze.

Wonwoo, who had been fiddling with the corner of his hoodie sleeve, stiffens and turns an alarming shade of red. “I’m not… I wasn’t asking about her,” he stammers. “I mean, I… I thought…”

“Oh my god, he’s so obvious,” Mingyu mutters, rubbing his temples. He shoots a glare at Hao. “This is painful.”

Hao looks up from his phone, sighs deeply, then slowly stands up. “Okay, okay. I’ll handle this.” He walks over to you and Wonwoo, leaning in dramatically

“You two are in love with each other,” he declares matter-of-factly, as though he’s just stating the obvious.

You blink, your face lighting up in horror. “W-What?! No!”

Hao looks at you deadpan. “Come on. The way you two can’t look at each other without blushing, the way he buys you chocolate even though he hates it, and you, you’re terrified of scary games, but you still play them with him. Stop lying to yourselves.”

You turn to Wonwoo, who’s practically the color of a tomato. His eyes are wide, but he’s too embarrassed to speak. You feel your heart thudding loudly in your chest

“You... like me?” you ask, your voice trembling slightly, trying to hold back your surprise

Wonwoo shifts nervously on his feet. “I thought… I thought you liked someone else.”

“I thought you liked someone else!” you say, now feeling utterly ridiculous.

Mingyu, who had been watching this whole conversation unfold with the kind of smug satisfaction only he could have, claps his hands loudly. “Finally! Thank you, Hao. That took way too long.”

Minghao crosses his arms and leans against the wall, clearly satisfied with himself. “You two could have saved us all a lot of trouble, but fine. We’ll take the credit.”

You stare at Wonwoo, unsure what to say. The silence stretches on.

“So,” Mingyu begins with a grin, “now that you’re both on the same page… what’s the next step?”

Wonwoo looks at you, his face softening a little. “So… you don’t like someone else?”

You laugh nervously, glancing at Mingyu and Hao for moral support. “No, I don’t. You… you really thought that?”

He nods sheepishly, clearly relieved. “Well, I thought you were being kind of weird about everything, so…”

You smile softly, your heart racing. “I thought you were being weird.”

Mingyu claps his hands. “Look at that. You two are adorable. Don’t go making things awkward again, okay?”

“Yeah, no pressure,” Hao adds, “but seriously, finally.”

A week later, you’re back at the same spot on the couch. No more confusing, awkward questions. No more playing games to dodge the truth.

Just you and Wonwoo, finally figuring things out.

“So, you still hate chocolate?” you ask with a smirk, holding out a piece of your favorite chocolate, teasing him. It's cute because he got the chocolate, again.

“I hate it,” Wonwoo admits, but this time, he doesn't protest when you hand it to him. He takes the piece, chewing it slowly as he grimaces.

“You don’t have to eat it just because I like it,” you say with a laugh, watching him struggle with the sweetness

“I’m suffering for you,” he mutters, but there’s a fond smile on his lips now, something you’ve never seen him wear before

From the kitchen, Mingyu peeks his head out with a knowing look. “Told you it would work.”

Minghao follows him, rolling his eyes. “Do I get credit for this? Or are you two going to keep pretending we didn’t help?”

You roll your eyes playfully but can’t help the smile spreading across your face. You glance at Wonwoo, catching him staring at you with that soft, shy smile of his.

“Guess we owe them one,” you say quietly, not breaking eye contact.

“Guess so,” he agrees, his voice gentle. He reaches over, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, making your heart skip a beat.

Mingyu, hearing the sudden silence, turns to Hao and shrugs. “Well, they’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah,” Hao agrees, grinning. “They’re hopeless, but cute.”

And for the first time, it really feels like everything has finally clicked into place.

[lovingperfectionsblog]

I'm Not A Spy?

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: There’s no way THE Max Verstappen got you flowers, absolutely no way. 

Warnings: Swearing, other than that, just silliness and fluff. 

Word Count: 1616

Authors note: This was literally a dream I had and I was encouraged to write it as a fic by my absolute dream of a friend @0-atmilk-latte so thank you sugar <3 I hope it’s okay. I really want to get back into writing my silly little stories so, let's try to do this. 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider supporting my work with a small donation! 

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Please do not ever feel obligated to donate! Just the thought of you reading, liking, commenting or reposting my work is the best support I could ever ask for!

______

Enemy territory. 

This is where Max stood currently. Dead center in front of the Mercedes motorhome door, where everyone could see him. 

And every single person to walk through those doors sent him glares that would make sure he knew he was on enemy territory. 

He knew it was risky. Redbull merchandise adoring him. Sticking out like a sore thumb. It was a risk he was willing to take. 

“Horner send you?” Toto stepped through the doors after watching Max stand there for the past hour, “Although, I can't imagine who Horner would be giving those to?” eyes flicking between Max’s face and the bouquet of flowers he was currently white knuckling. 

“No sir, these are for your assistant.” Max tried to sound confident but even he could admit Toto was a terrifying man and this entire situation was feeling far too similar to the idea of trying to get your fathers permission to ask you on a date. 

“From?” Toto knew he was making Max squirm, but the only thing that would bring him more joy was if it were Horner himself standing in front of him instead of Max. 

“From me sir.” Max tried to stop his hands from shaking, the rustling of the leaves and flowers becoming oddly unbearable as he tried to stand his ground in front of your boss. 

“Why?” As much fun as Toto was having, he was also curious. He knew Max had been eyeing you up these past few weeks, paying more attention to you, attempting to talk to you every opportunity he could. He had even caught Max attempting to make small talk with Lewis and George, which he was now assuming was a bid at getting closer to you. At the very least attempt to make everyone around you like him in the meantime. 

“Because I was hoping to ask her to dinner sir.” Toto couldn't hide his surprise at Max’s honesty. Expecting at the very least some work around to that answer after some back and forth. 

God Max irritated him. He had no choice but to add this to the increasingly growing list of things he respected Max for and it infuriated Toto to no end. 

It didn’t mean he couldn't stress Max out in the meantime. 

“Well,” he let out a chuckle, “good luck then son.” 

“Boss, what’s the redbull scum doing on our turf?” George shouted towards Toto as he made his way towards the motorhome. 

Toto didn’t even give Max an opportunity to answer before he was shouting back, “Apparently he’s here to ask my assistant out to dinner.”

“Oh, makes sense why he’s been so nice to me and Lewis these last few weeks.” George made his way up to the entrance, joining his boss and rival, “Is this why you wanted to hang out in Monaco the other day?” 

Toto and George could only laugh at the uncontrollable blush that had made its way across Max’s face at being called out. 

And the situation was only made worse by, “Morning Boss, George,” you eyed the odd one out, cocking an eyebrow up in question, “and Max?” 

“Well then, go ahead,” was all that came from your boss in lieu of a greeting from any of them. 

And suddenly Max felt shy. All that previous bravado had clearly been used up with Toto, leaving none for the actual important interaction. 

He had to do something and soon, because you were standing there staring at him, waiting, for, well, something. 

Next second there was a bouquet thrust in your direction, gripped to near smithereens between Max’s hands. Your eyes darted between the flower and the three men in front of you, one completely avoiding eye contact, the other two doing a poor job to hide their smiles as they watched the interaction between you two. 

“What’s this for?” you refused to take the bundle from Max, unsure of what was happening. 

“You.” It was all Max could get out. 

“From?

“Me?” 

“Why?” 

“Jesus.” 

Toto barked out a laugh at the near identical conversation he and Max had just had. 

The flowers rustled in front of you as you assumed Max shook them for you to take. 

He would never admit that it was his nerves. 

You hesitantly took the flowers, eyeline switching between max and the, admittedly beautiful, bunch of flowers you were now holding. 

There was a long silence as you just stared at the flowers, eyebrows furrowing. Neither Max, Toto nor George fully understood what was going on in your mind. The silence extended so long that even Toto began to feel nervous, so he could only imagine what Max was feeling as he just stared you down just as intensely as you were staring at those flowers.  

Just as Toto reached out to nudge Max in an attempt to get him to say something to you, you began violently shaking the flowers. Petals and leaves began flying everywhere. Whole flowers landed on the floor at your feet. At least one had hit Max in the face. Toto stepped back in fear. Max shielded himself from the onslaught. By the time you were done, all that was left in your hand was one measly flower consisting of maybe four petals and a few leaves. The rest lay at your feet after your massacre. 

All three boys stared on in horror as you stood there breathless. Eyes fixed on Max like he was your prey. 

Everyone could hear the gulp from Max’s throat as he took a single step backwards. 

“You think just because I’m some girl and you’re the Max Verstappen in your fast little redbull you can treat me like some pawn in your weird little game?” you spat the words at him. 

Max desperately looked over to Toto and George for some help, but even they looked too scared to intercede on his behalf. 

“This isn’t some game, I just,” 

“You just what? Thought you could spy on my team?” you didn't even let him finish before throwing out a secondary accusation at him. 

“Spy?” George hadn’t meant to have that come out as loud as it did, but suddenly all attention was on him as he hid slightly behind Toto. 

“Obviously George. He probably put a listening device in the flowers to spy on us.” All three looked at you like you were insane, “Why else would he be giving me flowers?” 

“To ask you on a date.” The silence that followed Toto’s comment was deafening. 

“No.” It was all you could get out. 

“No to the date or no to him giving you flowers for that reason?” Totot was desperately trying to be the voice of reason here. 

“To him giving me flowers?” You’d yet to look at Max since the original accusations. 

“Why would Max be spying on us? Redbull is the fastest team on the grid?” George was emphatically nodding along with what Toto was saying, trying to get you to see that this was completely innocent. 

“I’m not a spy?” Max had finally spoken up, far too alarmed at the accusations beforehand to offer much more than this, beyond thankful to Toto for helping him explain. 

“Then what’s with the flowers?” You were sharp and blunt and Max couldn’t help but fall just that little bit more for you as he watched you defend your team. 

“To ask you on a date.” Max hesitantly pointed at Toto, showing that the original reason that was offered was correct. 

“You want to take me on a date?” Max could only nod, “and these flowers were to ask me on a date?” Another nod, smile growing as he watched your cheeks flush, “in front of my boss?” you side eyed your boss, hoping he’d take the hint to get out of there. 

“In my defense, I didn’t expect him to come talk to me, not stick around” Max’s eyes refused to leave you, a little nervous to at this point. 

“I’m not going anywhere, is it a yes or not?” Totot refused to budge, his massive presence looming over both you and Max as George peaked over his shoulder to continue watching the interaction. 

“Yes,” you watched as Max’s smile grew even wider than before, him already grabbing his phone out of his pocket so you could put your number in it for him, “as long as you promise you aren’t a spy!” you emphasized by shoving his phone, now containing your number, into his chest as a warning. 

“Not a spy. I promise,” Max stuck his pinky out, waiting for you to reciprocate, giving you the most legal of all promises, the pinky promise, “so it’s a date.” 

You nodded as you wrapped your pinky around his own, “A date.” 

After a moment Toto coughed, catching your attention and forcing you to let go of Max and straighten out your attire, “We should go, yes, we have, there’s work, yes, job, okay, bye” and with that, you had disappeared through the Mercedes motorhome doors, soon followed by Toto who clapped a hand against Max’s shoulders, muttering a “well done boy” as he followed you in to begin the day, leaving Max to stare after you as George sidled up next to him. 

The two stood in silence, Max staring at you as Toto clearly teased you about the interaction, and George stared at Max, gearing up to do some teasing of his own. 

“Never thought The Max Verstappen would be into women who scared him” 

“Shit, she’s so scary.” Max nodded along with his own statement before making George choke on his coffee with the next one, “I think I’m going to marry her.” 

_______

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[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | Part X

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

CHAPTER X WARNINGS/NOTES: t.w.'s - strong language, more angst, mention of dr*g abuse during childhood trauma, mentions of death and injuries, Max in a coma, fearful tears, shared sadness, major end-of-the-world terror talk. 18+

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As we dive deeper into just how in love Steve and Bauman continue to fall...we also dive deeper into darkness.

We get a glimpse into the childhood past of Bauman Squared.

Steve finally gets to laugh again with his kids -- and with the girl he wants to have his own kids with one day.

Dr. Owens comes back, but it's not why they expected. Erica is given the hardest burden of all. Robin & Eddie are the whacky aunt and uncle that everyone needed and basically get shit back on track while being thrown hard news. Argyle is actually just a kind dude. Nancy is pulling away, while Jonathan finally feels the gut-punching gravity of what he is losing. Jopper is still carrying the weight of both worlds.

And surprise, b*tches: DIMITRI IS BACK AND BOY IS HE SOOO BACK.

Lastly: chicken nuggets. That is all.

WHILE THIS IS A FANFICTION STORY: IT IS STILL MY WRITING. PLEASE RIGHTFULLY CREDIT ME WHEN REPOSTING OR SHARING. I DO NOT GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO POST MY WRITING AS YOUR OWN. - MISHA @sheisjoeschateau PROOFREAD UNTIL MY EYES BLED. IF THERE ARE STILL TYPOS, SORRY BOUT IT. 18+

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

OH SO WE DO LOVE STEVE | Chapter X

“Why do I feel like this is some sort of twisted intervention?”

Erica Sinclair stood in the kitchen next to Murray as he cooked up something to share with a table of adults and teens — plus her.

“In a way, it is,” Murray responded to her as he stirred his ingredients. 

“...okayyyy,” Erica sassed, suspiciously.  “...then why do you want me here but not my brother or my other friends?”

Murray rolled his eyes.  Erica’s attitude was truly the one thing that could bring Murray’s entire mental empire crumbling down like a tower of cards being blown over by a gust of wind.  He pointed his spatula in her direction.

“Think of it this way, kiddo,” he said through a wry, condescending smirk.  “It’s like getting invited to sit at the adults’ table instead of the kids’ table for thanksgiving.  And you’re the only one we’re inviting before you get to go up there and hang out with your little friends.  Alright?”

Erica narrowed her eyes.  “What do I need to know that they don’t?”

Sauce dripped from the spatula as he stared at her.  Christ, she was relentless.  Then again…at least she seemed somewhat perturbed by the idea of knowing things before her brother and their friends.  That was pretty damn selfless for Erica Sinclair.  She cocked an eyebrow at Murray — who squinted back at her.

“Okay, why are you not as willing about this as I thought you’d be…”

“Look,” Erica said, crossing her arms.  “If I’m going to be made to keep a secret?  I need to know all the facts first.  Especially if I have to keep it from my brother.  And Steve.  And Bauman.”

Murray sighed through his nose.  She was right.  Mature, and right.

“I don’t want you to keep it a secret for good,” Murray clarified, speaking slowly.  “I just — we just need you to be made aware of some things before we bring it to everyone else’s attention.  And truth be told?  Harrington needs a break.  So does my niece.  And your friends?  They need some time with mom and dad.  You do, too.  But right now?  You’re the party member in charge of taking on some big information before we spread it to the rest of them.  And quite frankly?  I’m counting on you to help me — and the rest of us — help break it to them.  Got it?”

Erica let all of that land, her guarded expression softening into one of civil understanding.  She pursed her lips, considering this.  Finally, she nodded.

“Alright.  Deal.”

Murray shot her a thumbs up, resuming his cooking.

“That’s really lumpy,” Erica pointed to his saucepan with a soured expression.

“Ohforheaven'ssake —”

__________________________

Robin had taken on laundry duty on Steve’s behalf, knowing that Jonathan intended to talk with him.  Which is why she’d asked Nancy to help her with it, and it has turned out to be a good thing.

Nancy was clearly fraying at the seams.  There was a lot going through her mind, and it was all spiraling fast.  She needed someone to talk to, but none of her options seemed safe. 

She had no idea how or when to break everything she had been feeling to Steve. 

Her relationship with Jonathan was so tense and strained, any conversation shared with him had just blown up. 

And her mom would need to know everything about the upside down, in order to give her proper advice…and at this rate, that option seemed to have no place in this world. 

She couldn’t go to Joyce, because that’s Jonathan’s mom. 

Hopper and Murray were out of the question. 

She wasn’t close enough with Eddie to even consider it. 

And Argyle?  Well, he’d said about as much as he could say.  Far more than what she’d expected, if she was being honest.  

Nancy’s only other option was Robin Buckley.

“God, I swear — the air’s a disease at this point.”

Robin had sat next to Nancy on the porch, carrying the laundry basket.  Nancy quickly wiped a few stray tears, which Robin pretended not to notice – even when Nancy shot her a very forced, tight-lipped grin.

“Yeah,” Nancy chuckled wetly.  “It’s uhh, yeah.  Plagued at this point.  Thanks, Vecna.”

Robin nodded with a smirk.  “Yeah.  Thanks a lot, Vecna.  Fuck you, man.”

That made Nancy giggle, which Robin was grateful to see.  She decided to start off slow, not wanting to force anything.  After all, clearly Nancy was clearly going through it.  And the way she and Robin had started off?  Not great.  Buckley was definitely not trying to push her luck.  Sure, the two of them had gotten along super well as time passed, truly becoming friends while living in Steve’s house.  But they weren’t exactly best friends.  Friends for sure.  But not like Nancy and Barb had been.  Not even close.

“You know,” Robin mused.  “Sometimes, I think back to high school and how…I never really had a best friend while I was there.  Not like you did.”

That made Nancy turn to look at her, curiosity radiating for her bright blue eyes.

“You and Barb,” Robin explained.  “You two were thick as thieves.  She always made sure to take extra notes in Click’s class for you.”

Nancy’s eyes shone with melancholy fondness.  “She did…?”

“Yeah,” Robin smiled.  “Always.  Saved them on little flashcards and everything.  She was always like, ‘I gotta make sure I get this for Nance.’  Or whenever something crazy went down in the classroom, I could tell she was just itching to tell you about during lunch or after school.”

Nancy beamed at that.  She shook her head, grinning widely.  “God, I swear… Barb was like — like that little old lady who couldn’t help but wanna gossip.  Even though she hated drama, she loved it at the same time.  As long as it wasn’t hers or ours.”

“That totally tracks,” Robin snorted.  “What an icon, really.”

“Schyeah,” Nancy giggled wholeheartedly.  “Yeah, she…she was the best.”

Robin watched as Nancy gnawed at her lip, feeling the wave of sadness wash over her.  

“I just wish…” Nancy murmured, voice shaky.  “Just wish that I could…talk to her sometimes, you know?  Not just to tell her how sorry I am.  For everything that happened before she…”

Nancy’s voice trailed off.  Robin dared to reach over and touch her shoulder, relieved when Nancy didn’t push her away or tense underneath her touch.

“I just wanna ask her questions,” Nancy’s voice shook.  “So many questions, like…like the way we used to.  As best friends.  About — everything.  Life, family, love…friends…the end of the fucking world…”

Robin nodded.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I know.”

Because Robin did know.  Whenever she had become best friends with Steve, it had made her world significantly brighter.  Her heart was full, and her soul had been lifted out of its constant anxiety-ridden state.  Robin had been so closed off to bonding with anyone, especially the likes of Steve Harrington.  Little did she know, that guy would end up being her truest best friend and confidant.  The one she could lean on, tell anything to and count on for the rest of her life.  However short that might be, given the end of the world… But she had Steve by her side, trusting him with every secret she had and her literal life in his hands.  

Barb had been that for Nancy.  But she was gone.

“I don’t know what to do,” Nancy’s voice cracked.  She looked over at Robin with tear rimmed eyes, fighting them from falling as she bit down on her trembling lip.  “About…anything.”

Robin kept listening, wanting so badly to go on a rant but willing herself not to.  Because right now, it’s Nancy who needs to rant.  She needed to ramble until she couldn’t anymore.

“I’ve been so…God, I’ve been so in love with Jonathan since we met and…got through all of this together.  It just…just...worked.  Clicked, made sense.  Way more sense than Steve, but — but Steve and I, we…what we had was…it was real.  Really real.  Even Barb saw it, she just — just didn’t want me getting hurt, or…losing myself for a guy.  But I didn’t really.  Steve never pushed me to do anything that I didn’t wanna do, or…wasn’t ready for.  Ever.  Not once.  He was kind to me, and…and I feel like…like I just… I think I’m the one who did wrong by him.  Not the other way around.  All because I just felt so…lost, and conflicted, and scared, and unsure, and…and…”

Nancy curled in on herself, tears falling down her cheeks as she ducked her face out of sight.  But Robin scooched closer to her, enveloping her into a comforting embrace as she wept.  And Nancy let her, allowing herself to lean against her.

“I told him what we had was bullshit and it wasn’t,” Nancy cried bitterly.  “It wasn’t, he's not -- I was just…so fucking mad that Barb was gone.  And it was easier to blame Steve, all because he wasn’t hurting the way that I was.  The way that I still am.  But that’s — that’s n-not — b-because he d-doesn’t…c-care…”  

Nancy’s shoulders convulsed, and Robin’s heart broke for her as she held her tighter.

“B-but Jonathan had lost Will, so h-he…he got it.  H-he knew wh-what I was…going through… And I-I j-just felt...so r-right with him.  Because l-looking at him didn’t remind me of…of…”

Nancy choked on a sob.  

Robin knew she meant Barb.  She didn’t have to say it.

“I’m angry.  For me, for Barb, for Steve, for Jonathan…my mom, dad, Mike…everyone.  All the time.  And I just d-don’t know what to do, because…Jonathan shut me o-out, and w-wanted to b-break up with m-me all because he felt like…he was…holding me back, and wouldn’t just t-talk…to me…and then S-Steve… Steve, h-he wanted me back b-but now…h-he…he loves…he loves…”

Nancy ugly cried into her palms, muffling the noise so that it wouldn’t be heard from anyone inside.  Robin clung to her, rocking them back and forth with some gentle, soothing shushes.

“He loves her, Robin,” Nancy cried, heartbreak and anguish lacing her voice.  “He loves her, and s-she loves him back.  S-so much…b-better than I d-did…and I…I should be…so h-happy for him.  And h-her, but I just…I just…wonder if I…did I…did I m-mess up…?  Did I lose the p-person I was s-supposed to b-be with?  I just didn’t…think he’d…move on…and that’s so…fucking SELFISH of me…”

Robin squeezed her.  “It’s not selfish.  It’s human.  Steve is amazing.  But Nancy…it’s okay that you didn’t go back to him.”

“But you thought I should,” Nancy leaned back now.  She looked at Robin dead in the eye with bloodshot, red rimmed eyes.  They swam in regrets, sorrows and bitterness.

“You and Eddie both thought that we should,” she said, voice croaked and upset.  “Y-you both…thought that we…shouldn’t have…broken up, or…”

“You’re right,” Robin admitted, feeling bad but deciding it was best to just own up to it.  “You’re right, I did.  We did.  Me and Eddie.  But Nancy…sometimes we’re just so distracted by what seems right…that we can’t see what’s actually right in front of us.”

Nancy looked at her quizzically.  Robin sighed.

“Look, when you left Steve,” Robin explained, taking her hand into both of hers.  “Back in senior year, and you got with Jonathan…you two had your own journey.  You had each other.  Steve?  Steve had no one during his — except for the kids…and Bauman.  Because back then, he didn’t know yet.  He didn’t know about her and Murray intervening —”

“Yeah, I know,” Nancy said bitterly.  “We all know that now.”

“Just hear me out,” Robin pleaded with her softly.  “I promise, I’m with you, alright?”

Nancy stared at her for a moment, finally softening her tense jaw and nodding once.  Robin picked back up, on cue.

“Steve still had a lot of growing up to do.  On his own.  Dustin was the first to reach out to him.  Well, he basically forced himself on Steve.  And Steve needed that.  He’s an only child.  He needed a little brother to give him grief, and boss him around and pick on him.  You have Mike.  Steve didn’t have that until Dustin wormed his way into his life." Robin added with a smile, " ...and his heart.”

Nany thought about that, expression pensive with realization.

“Then Bauman came along,” Robin continued.  “She was Steve’s age… You and Jonathan were off with the adults.  He got left behind to watch the kids with her.  They went through…a lot of shit that night.  You did, too.  But so did they.  They fought off Billy Hargrove.  They protected the kids, fought off the demodogs in the tunnels.  They survived the night together.  You know what that feels like.  You and Jonathan bonded that way.  Right?”

Nancy hesitates but looks back at her, sniffing.  Eventually, she nods again.

“Right," Robin exhales deeply, proceeding. "So Steve… Steve had someone his age to be around, along with the kids.  And that was great.  Because she’s independent and badass, but also really chill and down to earth.  Like, some sort of femme tomboy.  Which Steve lowkey kind of needed, she really was exactly what --"

“Robin, I get it,” Nancy snapped, not wanting to hear about you in a complimentary way.  At least not at this moment.

“No, hear me out,” Robin insisted, giving her hands another squeeze.  “You need to hear this, Nancy, alright?  You know you’re beautiful.  You know Steve has been helplessly in love with you for years.  That’s not even a question.”  

Robin paused, shifting gears again as she refused to let Nancy look away from her.  

“...but Steve had to move on.  Or…find ways to convince himself that he could.  And Bauman?  She was there for that.  She was around, during all his growth.  And trust me – it was ugly.  You have nothing to envy there.  God, the way that they argued?  The way Steve talked to her, honestly?  Honestly.  You would’ve slapped him.  I sure as hell did a few times.  Mostly verbal slapping.  But I hit him a few times, not gonna lie.  You’ve seen the highlights of Steve’s growth.  You have seen the best parts of him, but…but Bauman was there for all of it.  She got to see it all happen in real time, from the second you and Jonathan met back up with them to right now.  And she owned up to her shit, too.  It wasn’t her fault, by no means was it her fault.  But hey, she took the hits.  Many times.  And she still ended up falling in love with Steve, who she swore was the last person who would ever win her over.  Those two knuckleheads were relentless whenever I came into the picture.  Fighting like lovers in a quarrel with absolutely zero history of affection to show for it.  But still, they got through shit together.  They put their differences aside for the kids, and when it came to fighting off the Russians?  She and Steve honestly kept me so sane.  And they kept us safe, too.  Me, Dustin and Erica.  They didn’t get along in the real world, but in the upside down world?  They did.  They didn’t even think twice.  Steve grew into a way better person because of her.  And she opened up a lot more because of him, and the kids.  She didn’t grow up with siblings either.  That’s another thing they have in common.”

Nancy took all of that in with a solemn expression.  Robin let that sink in before continuing.

“I know this is…a lot.  But really, Nancy…so much happened while you were gone.  Those two fell in love over time without even knowing it.  Shit, we didn’t know it either.  That was a plot twist for all of us — including Murray.  Despite what he says, that guy does not know everything.”

Nancy scoffed.  “I know that.”

“Of course you do.  We all do.  He does, too.  Especially now.  Now that his niece and Steve are clearly so head over heels in love with one another.”

Nancy’s heart sank at that.  She knew that it was true.

“I’m not…” Nancy mumbled, eyes downcast.  “I’m not mad at her for falling in love with him.  Or him.  I just…can’t help but wonder if I messed up.  Missed out on someone that I loved more than I allowed myself to when we were together.”

“You couldn’t have loved him more back then, Nancy,” Robin corrected her.  “Because who he was then, is not who he is now.  And who he is now is someone that Bauman has played a huge role in him becoming.”

Nancy sniffed a few times, bringing her knees to her chest and lost in thought.

“Do you still love Jonathan?”

Nancy looked at her, surprised.  “What?”

“Tell me what you’re feeling there,” Robin pressed gently.  “Why is that going wrong again?”

Nancy got defensive.  “Um, what’s wrong is that he clearly planned on leaving me while I was back here being loyal to him.”

“Right,” Robin mused.  “But…what about after he got back?  What happened then?”

Nancy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t.  She thought about that for a while.

“We just…” she started.  “...we just…moved past it.  We let it go.”

Robin nodded slowly.  “After all you two have been through…knowing damn well that things need to be talked about…you both really thought that was best?”

“He doesn’t ever tell me how he actually feels,” Nancy snapped.  “I’m so sick of it.  I always have to push him to tell me things.  He just — shuts me out.  Clams up, retreats.  He won’t even tell me when he’s upset about something unless I make him.”

“Well then,” Robin nods.  “That’s definitely on him.  But what about you?”

Nancy scrunches her face in confusion.  

“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt either?” Robin asks, unblinking.

Nancy stares at her, not knowing how to answer that.

“I told him that I love him,” Nancy whispers.  “And that I…that we’re fine.”

Robin’s expression softens.  “Do you wanna be?”

Nancy’s face crumbles.  “I…I want…”

Robin waits, not knowing what to expect but knowing that it’s getting somewhere.  

“I want him to love me again,” Nancy cries in despair.  “I want him to fight for me, and — and love me the way that I thought that he did.  That he would.  That he always would —”

Robin holds Nancy again as she convulses with sobs in her arms.  They stay that way for a little while, allowing the dust to settle.  Nancy has said enough for now.  It would all unravel itself more over time. 

Meanwhile, Eddie had told Jonathan to make his way upstairs and talk with Steve.

“You’re on, buddy boy,” Eddie told him with a hard pat on the back.  

So while Jonathan made peace with Steve, Nancy had finally released some of her emotions and confided in Robin.

And now, all the adults were in the kitchen as Murray made some food for the older teens and Erica.  They’d asked Robin and Eddie to make sure that Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy were all going to be present for it, along with Erica before she could go upstairs and join the kids.

So here they all were now: sitting at the dinner table while Murray and Erica served them up plates and bowls of random foods.  

Jonathan had watched Nancy make her way into the kitchen with Robin, newly fresh faced and eyes puffy from crying.  She wore her pajamas now, having taken a quick shower and washing off the anguish from her meltdown earlier.  Jonathan’s heart cracked in two, and it did even more as Nancy went to sit next to Robin.  He stood up, unable to help himself.

“I got you a seat here,” he said, voice shaky.

Nancy had looked over at him, eyes cold and expression blank.

“That’s alright,” she said, voice level and cool.  “We share a room.”

Nancy sat next to Robin, demeanor cool and calm and collected.  She was stiff, but there was a chilling resilience to her that Jonathan had not seen in a while.  It terrified him, making his anxiety spike.  Had he lost her?  Was he too late?

He swallowed hard, accepting it — given everyone else at the table.  Hopper had awkwardly reached for some pepper as this was happening, working in slow motion as he felt really uncomfortable.  So Jonathan just nodded, and Joyce gave him a sympathetic look as she placed glasses of water and tea in front of everyone.

Eddie made concerned eye contact with Robin as he poured himself some water.  Yikes.

“I’ll sit next to you, my dude,” Argyle said warmly, knowing he needed to step in.  Jonathan was grateful for that, but still dying inside as he kept stealing glances at Nancy — who looked anywhere except his way.

Murray clicked his tongue loudly. “Alrighty then. Shall we?”

With a thud, he set down his plate. Joyce clenched her jaw but took a deep breath.

“Lay it on us,” Eddie said with a deep exhale, sitting down on the other side of Argyle. 

“Yeah, what’s this pow-wow and why is it just this group who's on it?” Erica questioned as she stationed herself on the other side of Robin. 

“Right,” Hopper sighed before shoveling a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and leaning back to chew, readying himself. Everyone waited patiently.

“Here’s the deal,” he began, leaning forward and eyeing everyone individually as he spoke. “No one here is being made to keep a secret. That’s not what’s going on.”

“So then why is it private?” Robin asked curiously. 

“Because right now…we need to set some things straight. Set in stone.  Before we dive into our group meeting tomorrow. Consider this…a board meeting of sorts.”

Jonathan furrowed his brow. “Don’t we want Bauman and Steve for that?”

Hopper sighed deeply, rubbing at his beard. “This affects them. And the kids.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows at that, feeling nervous. He looked over at Robin, who looked just as worried.

Erica scrunched her face up. “Then why am I here?…”

“Because I need one of you kids to be level headed and vouch for me,” Hopper explained. “And for Joyce and Murray. We’ve spent a lot of time figuring this out. Weighed out our options, talked to El about it.”

“Does she know?” Nancy asked.

“Some,” Hopper nodded. “Most… Not all.”

Erica leaned forward, truly listening and accepting that she was clearly going to need to stick with some sort of plan that her friends were not going to be keen on…

Hopper contemplated his next words carefully.

“Look. Tonight, I need those kids to rest. To laugh, play some card games. Eat too much candy, and just have a good night. Soak up all the fun they can get before this mandate goes into effect soon. And before we have to go forward with a plan.”

Hopper made sure that everyone was with him on that.  Off their nods, he continued.

“There’s two groups. One that’ll stay here, in hiding. Down in the basement, where we’ve already started making up basecamp. They’ll have to stay hidden.  Out of sight.  Quiet.  On high alert.  It’s a gamble.  Just because they’ll be home…it doesn’t guarantee them any safety.”

Hopper took a deep breath, eyes filled with dread.  He rubbed at the gap between his pinched brows.

“…the other group will have to risk getting back out there.  And we won’t be anywhere that’s not swarmed and completely surrounded by the government and — god-knows-who-else, before we can get ourselves back near the largest gate that’s torn itself open and is ready to swallow Hawkins.”

Everyone’s blood ran cold. 

No one was safe. They weren’t before, but now? Nothing was off the table. Everything was high risk, no matter where anyone was stationed.

“If you’re sitting here,” Hopper continued slowly, voice grave, “at this table, listening to this conversation…minus Erica and Murray...you’re in Group 2. ”

Nancy and Jonathan both felt their chests constrict, but they understood. It didn’t surprise them per se. And at this point, nothing should scare them. But it did.

Joyce looked at her eldest son, torn but knowing it had to be done.

Erica looked over at Murray, who gave her a soft nod.

Robin and Eddie looked at each other, along with Argyle, shuddering. 

“Dimitri is going with us,” Hopper added.

“Who’s he?” Jonathan asked.

“Russian soldier,” Joyce told him, holding up a hand to clarify. “He’s on our side.”

Jonathan hesitated but eventually gave her a small nod. He looked over at Nancy, who was staring down at the table with her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

“He’s got insight,” Hopper continued. “Knows what we’re dealing with, and how to handle what we’re all up against.  We’ll need as many of us as we can get out there.  Those of us who know the risks, and know how to navigate this world.”

Robin processed that, thinking. “So that…where does that leave Steve and Bauman?”

Hopper was quiet. The way he gnawed his cheek made it clear that this was where it got messy.

“Steve is on the frontlines with us,” Hopper explained carefully. “…and Bauman is stationed back here with Murray and the kids, along with Dr. Owens.”

Robin’s heart sank, and so did Eddie’s. They both shared a sad, all-knowing look.  They knew this wasn’t going to go well.  At all. They knew that Steve was going to flip his shit at just the idea of leaving you out of his sight.

“Won’t Dr. Owens have a target on his back?” Eddie asked, concerned. “Won’t that — won’t that draw more danger here…?”

That made Robin look at Hopper, wide-eyed. The retired cop looked pale, eyes full of dread.

“He has to be here in case anything happens to Bauman or Max,” he explains solemnly. “Because if shit goes south here…they’ll need to run.”

Jonathan felt sick.  This also meant leaving Will behind.  “But…how? How can they run?”

“That’s where I come in,” Murray chimes in. “Between me and Erica and Dustin, we’ll be able to keep a close eye out for a signal — which Will can help us navigate.”

“Because he’s still connected to it all,” Joyce explains sadly.  “He still…feels it. He senses when it’s near.”

“Which is why he’ll be able to give us a warning,” Murray nods, adding to Joyce’s input. “Since El has to be out there with you guys, we’ll still have a connected source that's here with us.”

“The kids can’t do this,” Hopper adds, tone firm. “Not this time.  El doesn’t count, as much as I want her to stay back.  She can’t.  I know that.” He looks at Erica with parental eyes.  “But as far as the rest of you kids go?  No more.  It’s already bad enough having to risk you all staying here.  But if this is how it’s gotta go down?  You’re staying where there’s a controlled space, with 2-3 solid abort mission plans — which Murray knows from top to bottom.”

Erica hangs her head, but she nods. She knows this makes sense. 

“As for Bauman,” Hopper continues, eyes sad. “She’s not able to get back out there. Between her heart issues and her bad shoulder and ribs…she has to stay put.”

“No, I agree with that,” Robin says, voice full of gravel before she clears it. “But, umm…I’m just…really worried that…well it’s just — Steve, he’s um, he’s —”

“He’s going to have to do this,” Hopper interjects, but not unkindly. In fact, it’s full of empathy and remorse. “He knows the ways. You’ll all need him. His stamina, his strength. He’s strong, good with a bat and can outrun shit.  He also knows what to keep an eye out for, whatever comes our way.”

Eddie gulps, partially because he’s terrified about facing the underworld again…but also because he knows that Steve will be a wreck the entire time he’s gone with them and not with you. And if Eddie’s being honest, the idea of leaving you and the kids behind is killing him too. He’s especially grown to love you and Dustin over the last year.

“This isn’t open for discussion,” Hopper says, voice firmer and tone low.  “Tomorrow, when we have our living room meeting, I’ll be conveying this to everyone…along with Murray and Joyce.  And I need to know I have each and every one of you on our side.  Those kids are going to raise hell.  All of them are.  And this plan is not changing.  It’s either this…or we all stay hunkered down until we rot.  Am I making myself clear?”

Nancy and Jonathan nodded first, quickly followed by Robin and Eddie.

“Yes sir,” Argyle spoke first, and for the first time he genuinely looked aware of just how heavy all of this stuff really is.  Jonathan gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

“Erica,” Hopper was looking directly at the youngest person sitting across the table.  “I’m counting on you.  I know that’s not fair, but I am.  You’re tough as nails.  You’re gonna have to be that way with your brother, and his friends.  Your friends.  You'll have to be hard...but gentle enough to get it through to him.  I don’t care what you gotta do, you do it.  Whatever you have to say?  Say it.  And if anybody gives you shit for knowing this before they did…send them to me.  Understood?”

Erica looked back at Hopper with the most somber expression.  But she nodded.

“Understood,” she said, voice low.

Hopper gave her a curt nod before looking over at the older teens.

“As for you guys,” he said.  “We all know the shit that just went down yesterday at the fence.  Bauman’s always been at the frontlines with us.  She can’t be now.  And Steve cannot hang back.  He’s got too much strength that we can’t afford to not have on our side of this battle.  And I don’t care if Bauman insists she can do it.  She can’t, and she won’t.”

“And if she gets stubborn,” Murray interjects, voice fierce.  “Tell me.  If she tries pulling a fast one?  You tell me.  Capiche?”

Eddie and Robin quickly nod up and down.

“I’ll talk to him if it gets bad,” Jonathan says in a weak voice.

Nancy narrows her eyes at him.  Since when do he and Steve talk?

“Good,” Joyce says with a sad, tight-lipped grin and nod at her son.  “He’ll need it.”

"I'll be there for him, too," Robin nodded at Jonathan.

“Will we be able to stay in contact with them at least?” Eddie asks pathetically.  “Via the walkies?”

“When necessary...yes,” Hopper confirms.  “We’ll have to be scarce about it.  Selective.  Nowhere is safe.  It’ll have to be reserved for vital communication only.”

Eddie frowned, but nodded in understanding.  Robin was currently biting her palm, consumed with dread and sickening anxiety.  Leaving you behind?  The kids?  Even Murray, who everyone had come to appreciate in their own weird sort of way — mostly because of how much they all loved you.  He was an extension of you.  The whole situation just felt…fucked.

But wasn’t everything fucked?  Wasn’t this entire world so catostrophically fucked in every single which way, seemingly irreparable?  

Was there actually an end to this nightmare?  A world in which the upside down would cease to exist…monsters would go back to their storybooks and dark, twisted fairy tales…the moon would only ever symbolize light within forgotten darkness...and the sun would never hide behind the ashy debris that currently clung to the air, just outside their windows?

Despite how everything looked grim, with seemingly no end in sight…you all persisted in choosing to believe.  Yes.  Yes, this was going to end.

The end of the world was nearing.  It was inevitable.

But it wouldn’t be your world.

***

You never really put much thought into what having a family would feel like one day.

You’d wondered.  Every little girl does.  In young girlhood, there’s the beauty of innocence that protectively surrounds all grown-up dreams that fuel your wildest imagination.  The dreams of never having to go to school, and being in charge of everything you want.  The dreams of being able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.  The dreams of meeting your future husband, and getting to wear a big white, sparkly ballgown as you walk down the aisle to your happily ever after.  The dreams of being a princess in a big castle, ruling the land and having cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and tea parties everyday with your friends.

Sure, you’d had those dreams as a little girl.  How could you not?  It was inevitable.

But as you grew older, you didn’t really have a chance to fantasize about much.  You’d been made to grow up from a very young age.  Your grandmother had been there for you enough.  She kept a roof over your head.  Food on the table.  A very generous allowance, even though you never asked for one and you’d gotten yourself a job by the age of 13 painting peoples’ houses and doing yard work.  You’d even gotten hired by your uncle to do data entry for him, along with a couple of his contacts who did intense investigative research and needed someone to work remotely.  You earned your own living, and you did upkeep on your grandmother’s house — despite her never asking you to do so.  She was gone a lot.  She wasn’t very old.  Just a smoker who liked casinos and taking trips with her “friend” from time to time.  A woman, who she only ever referred to as her "assistant."  You knew better than to believe that, but you never said anything about it.  She was a closeted lesbian — which is why Robin coming out of the closet for you had been the easiest news to take, let alone support.  Your grandmother was a tough, long-acrylic-nails-donning boss bitch who did whatever the hell she wanted.  You’d gone with her many times to some casino resorts, mostly staying in the hotel room or just walking around the city.  It felt like living with a Mafia Mobwife.  It was cool, for the most part.  But it definitely meant being able to hold your own.  She’d raised herself when she was a kid — and in most ways, you did too.

It’s why you’d spent so much time with your uncle, who didn’t live very far.  He was home a lot.  Given his line of work, he didn’t go out much.  He became even more of a hermit as the years went on, and you liked that.  It meant consistency.  His spare room basically became your room.  It couldn’t exactly be considered a “guest room” when he never had guests over.  You’re the only person he invited over for company, and he loved it.  The two of you got along effortlessly.  His dark humor rubbed off on you early on, which your grandmother shared in but she wasn’t nearly as quick-witted as Murray.  That’s where you got it from.  But your dry, snarky wit was much more selectively timed than his.  He was all over the place.  You had solid social cues, given that you went to school and were around people often.  Your uncle was definitely an oddball.  But you loved him to death, and you got him better than anyone else did.

You weren’t babied.  You weren’t coddled, or sheltered, or given false hope about the world.  It’s why you held your own, and it’s also why you never victimized yourself.  It was to a fault, but you believed it was for the best.

So when Clark broke your heart into a million pieces, you told yourself it had been a risk from the start.  A gamble, just like the poker tables at those casinos that your grandmother frequented all the time.  Love was a dangerous game, and it spared no one.  There were winners and losers — and you’d lost this one.

But right now, in this moment, you felt as though you had just won every single jackpot that there was to win.  

Because right now, you were sitting in Steve’s lap on the floor of Max’s room in his big house, holding cards closely to your chest as Lucas screeched GO FISH at Dustin.  Steve’s hand was in plain sight, and if you were a cheater you’d have him beat in seconds.  But you didn’t need to win a stupid card game…because you had won the greatest game of all: life.

El and Mike were cuddled up close to each other, giggling and being young teens in love.  In a normal world, you would assume it to be puppy love between them.  But this world wasn’t normal, and the shit that they’d been through together wasn’t any different than what you and Steve had been through together.  It was real love, and you let them be that way.

Lucas was seated next to Max in her bed, holding her hand and laughing like a kid again.  Dustin was hoarding all of the candy from his backpack (so much for sharing) and laughing like a buffoon.  He bickered with Steve and the kids as usual, but something about it was just so…bright.  Hearty laughter bounced off the walls, and there were so many times that Steve had belly laughed — along with you and the other kids — that you’d all lost count.

Sometimes, you swore that you saw Max’s lips twitch.  As if she could hear you all in her coma, wanting to laugh along with everybody.  Lucas would talk to her as if she could hear you all just fine, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehead while showing her his hand in cards.  Dustin even gave her a sleeve of her favorite candy — just for her.  He might not have basic manners with the rest of you, but Max?  Always.  

Will was keeping score, seated next to you and Steve with the biggest smile you had ever seen him wear.  He laughed hysterically the entire night, even going as far as verbally expressing adoration for you and Steve.  Dustin would pretend to gag, but Will would just tell him he knew better than to think that the curly-haired smart alec wasn’t completely in love with the two of you being together.  Dustin had grinned all dopey and wide, rolling his eyes but not arguing with him any further.  

At some point, Mike suggested all swapping ghost stories.  

Lucas had barked the loudest laugh.  “How about the one we’re currently living??”

“Hey, hey,” Steve interjected.  “I got a better idea.  Tell your most embarrassing story.  One you’re scared shitless to tell.”

You'd grinned in his arms, snickering.  “Oh I got plenty of those.”

“I mean hey,” Dustin shrugged with a mouthful of candy.  “If we’re gonna die, we might as well get real.”

“Okay chill, we’re not going to die,” Steve scoffed, hiding his internal worry.

“It’s possible,” Mike shrugged, grabbing another bag of M&M’s.

Steve huffed.  “Dammit, Wheeler —”

Mike’s devilish grin was infuriating yet endearing at the same time.

“I wish Max could hear all of this,” El said with a tinkering laugh.

You gave her the warmest of smiles and a wink.  “Trust me.  She does.”

“Hell yeah,” Lucas smiled wide, squeezing Max’s hand.  “I’ll even tell one of her stories, for her.”

“...dude, she’s gonna kill you,” Dustin warned him, but there was a smirk lifting at the corner of his lips.

“I’ll go first,” Will announced, laying on his stomach as he ate some popcorn.  “One time?  I was asleep in bed but I woke up because I heard Jonathan moaning so loudly — like, disturbingly loud —”

“Okay, maybe I needed to lay down some ground rules here —” Steve starts with a very tight voice as you snorted into your palm.

“Just hear me out,” Will laughs, holding a hand.  “I thought it was with a girl —”

“William,” Steve scolded.

“But he was in the bathroom,” Will talked over him.  “Shitting his brains out.”

Dustin cackled while Mike audibly expressed disgust while laughing at the same time.  El looked shocked, giggling hysterically into her hand.

“Damn, that bad?!” Lucas roared.

“He lit every candle in the house,” Will cackled.  “Mom went to use it shortly after him and came barreling into our rooms to ask us in a panic what had died up one of our butts!”

Steve collapsed into you laughing, and you couldn’t even breathe from laughing so hard.  It was that sort of deep laughter that’s so painful because it’s quiet before you’re able to finally erupt with loud laughs that help you come down from a high.  All the kids were a fit of cackles and giggles, too.  Erica made her way into the room finally, jumping right into things and bringing cookies with milk.  All of you exchanged stories, allowing yourselves to only cry tears of joy.  It was exactly what you all needed, long overdue.

And for the first time in ages — none of you thought about the upside down, or the impending doom that awaited you just outside of the Harrington house throughout all of Hawkins.

That night, you and Steve tucked every single of your kids into their assigned sleeping bags and cots.  Lucas stayed with Max in her bed, asking you sheepishly if that was alright.  You’d nodded, along with Steve — more than approving.  And given you both would be chaperoning that night in the same shared room, you also let Mike and El cuddle up together in a sleeping bag.

“Hands outside of the covers, Wheeler,” Steve warned him, but he gave him a wink — adding please at the end.  Even Mike gave him a smile and nod, like a little kid who felt called out but also didn’t have any intention of disobeying.

Dustin and Will joked in high pitched voices about being bunkmates with their sleeping bags next to each other, given they were the two singles of the group.  Technically, Erica was too.  But even if she wasn’t, she would still demand her own space.  She had situated herself on the floor beside Lucas’s side of the bed, not planning to give him a hard time for a good while given what was in store for everyone tomorrow.

As for you and Steve — the two of you had stationed yourselves in the center of the room, closest to the door.  That way, you could see all your kids at any point during the night and also be the first to fight off any harm coming your way, should danger lurk on the other side of the locked bedroom door.

Steve ruffled Dustin’s hair as he dozed off, earning a sleepy little “hmph” from him.  After he made sure all of them were comfortably settled in for the night, he crawled over to you.  His nail bat was propped somewhere nearby — ready to be swung into action if need be.  But the need for it that night never came.

You curled into Steve’s chest, breathing in his clean, masculine scent and allowing it to fill all of your senses.  Sighing contentedly, you felt a rush of warmth wash over you as his lips pressed into the top of your head.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you more,” you murmured in the softest of whispers.

You felt him chuckle against you.  “Impossible,” he breathed into your hair, pulling you so close to him you might as well be the same body.

And had you not been so completely relaxed in his arms, you might have fought him on it.  The whole "I love you more" thing. In fact you definitely would have.  But you just hummed, dozing off in his strong arms and allowing sleep to find you.

***

Waking up had been beautiful. The sun was even more hidden than usual, plagued by the new world coming into fruition. But despite the lack of sunshine outdoors, you felt as though it shone through the entire room as all the kids woke up and whispered to each other. You pretended not to hear them when they talked about you and Steve. Because if you were being honest? You’d been dying to hear their uncensored thoughts. If they thought that you weren’t listening, they wouldn’t hold back from saying what was actually on their mind.

Turns out?  All of them wanted this. The two of you together.  They laughed about how some of them thought that Steve was going to end up with Robin at first. 

“No way,” Lucas shook his head in a confident whisper. “Those two? They’re like brother and sister.”

“Yeah, but Bauman’s so out of his league,” Mike whispered back.

“She is not,” Will added in a defensive whisper.

“She so is,” Mike whispered indignantly.

“No way, Steve’s awesome,” Dustin defended in a whisper.

“Yeah but like,” Mike whispered, pondering with a sigh. “I mean yeah. He is. I like him. He’s cool. Way cooler than I thought he was at first. But Bauman’s literally a badass. She doesn't care what people think.”

“Steve doesn’t care anymore,” Erica chimes in, speaking softly. She’s actually pleading Steve’s case and it’s adorable.  “He used to. But when we were down there with the Russians? And he had to wear that stupid sailor outfit for work?…”

“Oh my god,” Dustin snickered. “That shit was so funny.”

“He looked like Shirley Temple from the Good Ship Lollipop,” Lucas snickered back, and Will had to shush them so that they wouldn’t wake you up.

“My point is,” Erica continued with sass. “Steve doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of him now. I mean…he gave her hell the whole time I was around ‘em.”

“I still don’t get that,” Mike whispered.

“Me either,” El added quietly.

“What do you mean?” Dustin whispered in confusion. “I told you guys the whole story. That once upon a time ramble I had to sit through when Murray basically went on to give us an entire rundown on the two of them?”

“Well duh,” Mike whispered in annoyance. “I know that. But dude…she’s…like, she's...”

“Hot.”

Everyone went quiet, and you stiffened as you held back laughter. Because the person who had called you hot?  It was El.

“Bauman is hot,” El repeated.

Eventually someone snorted. Then, they all did. You bit back laughter, blushing into Steve’s chest with your face kept hidden.

“You’re hot,” Mike added to her in a coy whisper.

“No, you are,” she whispered back sweetly.

“Enough,” Erica whispered definitively. 

“Max thinks that Steve is hot,” Lucas scoffed.

“He is,” Erica and El said at the same time.

“Hey,” Mike whined, and they all shushed him.

“Face it, dude,” Dustin whispered flatly. “He is. I wish I looked like him.”

“You look great, man,” Will assured him. “You got a girl like Suzy. You gotta be a stud to catch someone like her.”

Dustin had blushed at that with a wide, dopey grin. “Think so?”

After listening to them chat some more, eventually Steve started to stir. He’d told them good morning, to which Dustin all too happily responded with a very loud good morning back —- making Steve audibly groan and bite back curse words. The kids all snickered. 

Will started handing out drawings out to everyone. You all had been sketching and drawing together in your assigned room earlier the day before, while Steve had been getting Max’s room ready.  Will had told you all to draw a picture of someone else in the party. He’d even chosen who was drawing who.  

Will and Lucas drew each other.

Mike and Erica drew each other.

El and Dustin drew each other.

And you drew Steve, before he joined you all and eventually drew his original art piece of you while you all played a round of the Game of Life.

Here you were now: holding your drawing close to your chest, and wiggling your eyebrows at Steve. He gave you the most adorable smirk, his cocoa brown eyes still a bit sleepy and his perfect hair the sexiest case of bed head. He stretched, toned arms flexing and his white t-shirt clinging to his muscles in all the right places while being loose enough to wanna rip it off of him…

Not the time, Bauman, you mentally scolded yourself.

Steve had reached underneath his pillow to fetch his drawing of you, holding it to his chest and sitting across from you — crossed-legged and shooting you a wink. All the kids mirrored you both, sitting opposite their assigned art piece subject with throaty giggles and snorts. 

Will looked at everyone excitedly, like a proud art professor, ready for his classroom to partake in show-and-tell.

“Alright,” he smiled. “Everyone ready?”

“Yeah, you go first, Byers,” Steve nodded at him with an encouraging grin.

Will blushed. “Oh…well…I mean…I should go last. You guys first. On the count of 3, everyone turn your photos around to your partner.”

Mike snorted as he stared down Erica. “Howdy, partner,” he drawled in a fake accent. El giggled, and so did Lucas. 

Erica shot Mike a wry smirk. “Easy now, cowboy.”

“Bet you made me look like a total loser,” Mike snickered. 

“I don’t have to draw you to make you look like that,” Eric’s said in the most sugary sweet, sarcastic voice.

“Okay snarkbutts, settle down,” Steve scolded lightly in a groggy voice, no heat behind it. “Will has the floor. William: proceed.”

Will saluted him. “Alright. Count of 3.”

“Please tell me you gave me teeth,” Dustin mumbled lowly to El.

“One…”

El shrugged. “I dunno.”

Dustin narrowed his eyes. 

“Two…”

Steve gave you a coy look, asking in the lowest of mumbles, “How big’s my hair?” 

You grinned like a devil, your voice lower. “Not as big as your other best trait.”

Steve lifted a very cocky eyebrow with a deepening grin.

“Three!”

Everyone turned their papers around, and a soft silence fell over you all minus a few little reactive intakes of breath.

Dustin had drawn El with a million eggo waffles in the sky around her. She looked like the most adorable cartoon character, with anime eyes and full cheeks. Her hair was shorter, the way she’d looked back in ‘83 whenever she’d returned. But it wasn’t slicked back. It was free, curly and a little wild. Her smile was innocent and childlike, and there was a policeman in the back waving. Hopper. 

El had drawn Dustin with his signature cap and his big toothy grin — which made him beam, because she did give him teeth in the drawing after all. And in this drawing, there were bubble boxes above him that read all the quotes she associated with him, like Steve! and She’s our friend and she’s crazy! and Shit shit shit shit shit!

Mike had drawn Erica into a comic strip. He showed her as just a wee tike, then at Scoops Ahoy with an ice cream cone, then playing DND. The last image of the strip showed her with her arms crossed and a triumphant smile, with a banner behind her that read Welcome to the Party.  (…as Erica looked at it, she felt the most unfamiliar warmth seep into her bones and the joyful sting behind her eyes sent her into pure shock.)

Erica had drawn Mike on his bike, riding through the neighbor with his backpack and a flashlight. His dark hair blew in the wind, and there was a thought bubble above him with little heads that resembled all of his best friends.  Above him and the thought was a quote: “Mike Wheeler: nerd, snark machine and superhero to all.”  (…Mike felt so emo, he didn’t know what to do with it.)

You had drawn Steve in a very chic sort of hot anime-like way.  It honestly looked like an actual character that existed in an anime universe.  In the drawing, Steve held his nail bat in one hand and a McDonald’s happy meal in the other.  He didn’t quite understand that part at first — until he spotted behind him, there was a Winnebago.  Six familiar faces, very stick-figure-esque, stood there waving.  You also stood there, with a quote above your head: “six-piece nuggets, coming right up.”  Steve breathed the fondest of chuckles as he took it all in, wanting to laugh and smile and cry and tackle you with his kids all at the same time.

Steve’s drawing of you was more adorable than you ever thought him capable of drawing.  You were the cutest little cartoon, backpack over your shoulder with combat boots — but you were wearing the most beautiful dress.  It was yellow, which complimented the happy blue sky behind you.  Yours and Steve's favorite colors combined.  There was a big house behind you, with seven other stick figures that looked an awful lot like Steve and your six nuggets.  And right next to you, there was a dictionary-esque definition of you:

BAUMAN (Pronounced bow•men)

A professional love-life ruiner; cute but psycho; hardcore but soft; too smart for her own good; humor darker than the dark espresso she drinks straight, because she’s a sociopath; also hotter than said cup of coffee; terrifyingly beautiful from the inside out; my mortal enemy turned favorite person; the girl who makes everything make sense; someone I can’t fathom living without, and can’t believe I ever thought I could; the love of my life, in this one and the next and so on, so long as she’ll have me.

You had never felt so full in your entire life, and neither had Steve. The two of you just stared at each other’s drawings. Grinning, glassy-eyed, chuckling, aching, filled with every ounce of joy and every ounce dread — all at once.  Neither of you could speak, but neither of you had to. Your eyes, along with his, spoke volumes. They said everything there was to say, just as much as your sketches did.

Lucas had drawn Will in a wizard’s outfit.  He held a tall, majestic scepter — with a large hat on top of his head.  Surrounding him was a large swirl of colors, whimsical and light, painting a galaxy of sorts.  And in this galaxy, there were little floating stick figures with all his friends’ names above them.  Will was smiling in the drawing, with his hands in the air and on top of the world.  Literally, because in the picture he was standing on top of a globe.

As for Will...he had drawn Lucas at a basketball game. He was scoring the winning basket, and an entire crowd cheered behind him.  All of you were there.  Will was there, next to all his friends.  You and Steve were next to each other, along with his mom, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, Eddie, Robin and Hopper.  Even your Uncle Murray.  

And Max…that’s where Will’s drawing got unique. 

She was piggybacking Lucas, as he jumped and shot the winning score of the game, her laugh radiating through all the pens and crayons and markers that Will had used to sketch her.  She was alive, as were the rest of you.  Very much alive.

Just as you all were right now, inside one of Steve Harrington’s many bedrooms in his big house with no parents.  

No matter what doom was swiftly approaching — no matter what monsters were looming underneath the surface, and already roaming the real world — you all were together.  You had each other.

You always will.

***

Late morning upstairs has been kind to you.  It's been light.  Hopeful. 

There’s something about walking downstairs that makes the energy shift.  It sends an odd sort of chill up your spine, despite Steve’s arm draped securely over your shoulders as you wear one of his large gray hoodies with your bad arm in a sling.  You feel a certain pang in your chest as the kids follow you all down into the kitchen…but this time, it’s not because of your heart arrhythmia.

As Hopper and Joyce smile at you all in the kitchen, greeting you warmly and having prepared a table full of pancakes that had smiley faces decorated with whipped cream and chocolate chips and strawberries on top — something about the scene frowns at you.  A deep frown that you’ve seen on everyone’s faces whenever there is bad news waiting to be shared.

Your uncle is coming over to hand you a hot cup of decaf coffee, winking at you and Steve as he gives him a tight shoulder squeeze.  He’s moving past you both towards the man named Dimitri, who is walking in from the living room.  Murray brings him over to introduce you.

“Dimitri, this is my niece,” Murray grins.

You shake his hand firmly with your good arm, smiling gratefully.  “Heard a lot about you.”

“You as well,” the man says with a genuine smile, kind vibrant eyes and a thick Russian accent.  He’s definitely seen some shit.

“And this is Steve,” Murray gestures, a bit of a coy glint in his eye.  “Her boyfriend.”

Steve blushes, a soft smile gracing his features and shining through his eyes.  He wholeheartedly adores being called that out loud for the very first time: your boyfriend.

Your uneven heart skips several more beats, which typically would raise a lot of concern — but at the moment, you’re too fucking happy to care or pay it any mind.  You watch Steve flash his signature charming smile and reach out to firmly shake hands with Dimitri, who is looking back at your handsome boy with the widest grin.  The masculine exchange of lighthearted friendly words between the two men makes your stomach dance for some reason, especially as your uncle chuckles along with them.  

This is completely uncharted territory for you. Nothing about this moment is familiar.  But you could really get used to it.  It’s new.  And you adore it.

Dimitri meets the kids, who all take to him very well.  Especially El, who seems to already be familiar with him.  Likely because of Hopper.  Jonathan and Argyle are being introduced to him by Joyce, while Eddie is rounding the corner with a big stretch and yawn.  Steve shoots him a smirk as the metalhead makes his way over for a big ole bro hug, whispering something to him that makes Steve snort while Eddie grins like a devil.  Steve swats at him playfully, successfully smacking him as Robin walks in with Nancy close behind.  Steve’s quirky platonic soulmate makes her way over to you with a warm smile, swinging an arm over your shoulders so that she’s nearly headlocking you in a hug.  She’s a bit taller than you, by just a couple inches, so it gives her some upper hand.  You’re chuckling lightly, nose scrunched and tightly winding your good arm around Robin’s waist as you smile back at Nancy.  Her eyes are still sad, a bit lost.  But there’s no animosity there, at least not that you see.  She looks at you shyly, timidly…but with utter kindness.

Unbeknownst to you — Robin had suggested to Nancy that she stay with her last night in Steve’s room.  For Nancy, that had been…hard.  Necessary, but hard.  For multiple reasons.  For one thing — the last time she’d slept in Steve’s room, she had been his girlfriend. Being asleep in there 2 years later without him, now as his ex, brought back a flood of memories — bittersweet and haunting.  Being in his bed, twisted up in his sheets, felt wrong.  But she just couldn’t bring herself to sleep next to Jonathan that night.  Not yet.  Not after everything that had unfolded.  So Robin had stayed up talking with her, having a heavy heart to heart.  But it turned out to be exactly what Nancy needed.  Just what the doctor ordered.  Robin Buckley had unintentionally become a nurse of sorts over the last several months, and maybe even somewhat of a therapist.  Although — Argyle sort of had her beat in that department earlier that afternoon.  But he was the much simpler kind.  Whereas Robin got deep, given her innate gift at rambling until you were given no choice but to cut her off because your most honest thoughts were yanked out of you as you were made to listen to her ranting.  Nancy had cried some more, but she’d also laughed.  A comforting mixture of both smiles and frowns were shared between the two unlikely friends.  Robin wasn’t Barb, nor would any other girl be that kind of friend to Nancy.  Robin was very different from Barb.  However, her heart was just as loving.  She loved hard, and it showed.  She let Nancy pour her heart out, pouring some of her own out in return.  And somehow…somehow…it brought Nancy some newfound peace and understanding.

So as she looked at you now, having seen you come downstairs with Steve and the kids — now introducing yourselves to the new Russian house guest, and sharing a special connection with Eddie and Robin in a way that only settled couples so effortlessly did — Nancy could see something in the two of you that she’d not known Steve capable of being while she in a relationship with him.  And while she selfishly ached for her younger self who’d missed out on having that with him (and sometimes still found herself pining after), she selflessly began to feel happy for Steve.  And she even began to feel some happiness for you.  Not completely.  Not yet.  She couldn’t quite commit to making full peace with it all, given that healing takes time.  A very long time.  But as time continued to pass, which Nancy hoped you all would still be granted given the circumstances of the crumbling world, she knew that she would eventually get there.  

Murray and Dimitri were saying something funny, making Hopper and Joyce share a hearty laugh with the two of them while the kids were asking the new gentleman a million questions.  Steve made his way over to you and Robin, hugging you both — and Eddie threw his arms around all of you, resulting in fond groans and grunts from you all along with big smiles.

Nancy and Jonathan made unintentional eye contact as this happened, but Dustin shouting GROUP HUG! snapped their focus away again. The boys all bear hugged you guys while El and Erica were already pouring syrup onto their pancakes.

Eventually, you all sat down to enjoy a feast.  And while it tasted so deliciously sweet…the bitter aftertaste stemmed from looming doom that creeped just beneath the surface of your feet.  The energy shift was still felt, and despite the warmth of homemade pancakes and Steve’s hand on your thigh…your blood ran cold.

***

It was the early afternoon that finally unveiled the darker energy shift you had all been sensing since that morning, after you left the comforting quarters of your little family sleepover.

Everyone was now seated in the living room now — the way you always were, when it was time for you all to have a group meeting and listen to Hopper go over a plan of sorts or give a rundown to the household.  Except this time, Dimitri was here along with Dr. Owens.  It wasn’t like all the other times.  This was different.  Very different.

This one scared you.

Maybe they all should’ve. All these talks that centered around the end of the world. All these household meetings about the impending doom that came with said end-of-the-world. But somehow, you’d grown accustomed to them.  Comfortable.  It meant you were all still alive and that you all had something worth fighting for. And it had always meant there would be another meeting.

But there was an unsettling sort of feeling of finality to this meeting that set it apart from all the others.  And as Hopper stood with both Joyce and your uncle Murray…you felt goosebumps scatter up and down your arms and legs, regardless of Steve’s warm oversized hoodie and your leggings and socks.  Their faces were somber, a bit grim.  Murray kept his arms tightly crossed while Joyce fiddled nervously with her hands.  Even Hopper, ever the strong and firm type, looked nervous.  Maybe even afraid. 

They spoke all slowly, taking their time with why everyone was there — why Dimitri was now in the picture along with Dr. Owens — and what all needed to be discussed.  And the longer they spoke, the thicker the air got.  Tension spread around the room.  It was especially evident as none of the kids were making a sound.  They hadn’t uttered a single word.  Not one of them.  The adults had the floor, and when they asked Dimitri to stand with them, you all knew this was going to go in a bad direction.

So when they all told you the plan, looping Dr. Owens into the picture and why he not only was here for this talk — but here to stay — the gravity of the current situation landed.

You all felt your souls plummet to the deepest depths of your stomachs with a hard thud, as Hopper revealed two large whiteboards.  They both had entirely different detailed layouts…and beside each one, there were two separate lists of names.

One list of names would be at the frontlines.  The people who would be diving head first into the upside down and all of its perils. 

One list of names would be hiding out here.  The people who would maintain home base, helping operate things from the other side in the real world, while risking the chance of being found, caught and killed.

Both sides were at risk.  Both teams could die.  Both groups might not ever live to see another day, or each other, ever again.

As Steve stares at your name, along with the names of all of his kids aside from El, on the opposite whiteboard from his own name…he feels bile rising in his throat.  His stomach twists into knots, deeply tangled with unbearable anxiety and anguish.  His mind races, but his lips don’t move.  Fear paralyzes him, rendering him speechless as the adults keep talking and gesturing to the boards.  The castle on a cloud that his dreams have just began to build for the two of you, walls high and protecting you both along with his kids — his family — was drifting away from him.  And all he could do was watch it drifting further and further away, into the void, as he stared into space.

You felt his grasp on you instinctively tighten as his muscles stiffened.  Steve was rigid against your back, and you were grateful that he couldn’t see your face right now.  You were sitting between his legs on the longest part of his couch, facing the same direction as you took in the whiteboards while absorbing all the information that was being relayed to the group.  With a harsh swallow, you risked peeking at everyone else’s reactions — quickly scanning the room with your eyes.

Mike’s usually sour expression looked far more sad than it usually did.  He only ever looked like that when El was in danger, or things were spiraling out of control.  He sat on top of the coffee table with his elbows in his lap, crouched forward and staring a hole into one of the whiteboards.  Dustin’s mouth was agape, and his unusual silence was loud.  He hadn’t said a word from where he sat on the couch next to Erica.  Will sat on the other side of Jonathan, brow furrowed and heart blue.  He knew the risks being taken, and it hurt his soul seeing that he would be apart from his mom and brother.  He felt as though he always had been, ever since this all began, and it seemed to be a never ending circumstance.  Lucas was taking it all in from his seat on the leg of the couch, hands wrung and expression reserved — but defeated.  He’d really grown into a young man this past year, and he’d been taking so much in stride.  But even so, he looked conflicted.  Really conflicted.  

After taking in the kids’ reactions, your eyes swept over to Robin and Eddie.  She was seated in the giant loveseat, per usual, with Eddie perched on the arm of it.  You narrowed your eyes as you caught sight of Robin fiddling her thumbs, eyes darting up and down from her fingers to the adults with the whiteboards.  Eddie was bouncing his knee anxiously, nibbling at his fingernails — which were already bitten to stubs.  While the two of them looked to be taking this hard, the way that the rest of you were…they also seemed to be absorbing it a bit differently.  As if maybe they had a hunch about it already…

It wasn’t until Erica stood up to sit by Lucas with zero prompt that you felt slightly suspicious.  Because as she did, Robin shot a very quick tight-lipped smile in Erica’s direction with eyes that radiated sympathy.  Did they know this was coming?  Is that why Erica had come upstairs with the cookies and milk later than the rest of the kids?

You sighed through your nose, focusing back on Hopper as he gestured for Dr. Owens to stand up with them.  The older man made his way to the center of the tense room, hands dug deeply into his pockets and wearing a very sympathetic smile.

“I’m really grateful you all have put a lot of faith in me, despite everything,” he said humbly.  “Truthfully, it’s not owed.  I know that.  Still…I promise you’re in good hands with me.  Not those guys out there.  Hence why I’m here.  And I know you’d have already figured out by now if I was still working for that side of things.  Between El and Will, and all of you crazy smart folks, I’m outnumbered.”

He added a light chuckle at the end that nobody returned.  Dr. Owens sighed, taking no offense.  He knew this was not going to be taken well.

“I’m in this fight with you,” he said, stronger than how he spoke before.  There was conviction in his tone that he never really used, and it only heightened just how severe things currently were.  “If it were up to me?  None of you would be out there.  I’d be out there on the frontlines.  But…given Max’s comatose state, and Bauman’s heart condition, I know I’m needed here.  Which is just as big a risk that’s being taken out on the battlefield, because we’re staying in Hawkins as the evacuation notice and mandate goes into effect.  The city will be swarmed with government officials who are all behind this.  We’ll be surrounded from all angles.  No one is safe.”

You’re pretty sure that Steve had stopped breathing at this point, and the veins that prominently stuck out from his arms tightly wound around you made your throat close up.  

“I’ll be here to monitor Max, along with Bauman.  I’ve got plenty of medication to help steady the heart arrhythmia, and anything vital needed for a medical emergency — on anyone’s behalf, not just Bauman’s and Mayfield’s.”

“But…what happens if…”

A tight voice made everyone’s heads whip in its direction.  It was Dustin speaking, eyes wide with fear.  He wasn't being his usual cocky, overly confident self.  He looked and sounded genuinely fearful.

“…what happens if we’re caught?  What do we do?  Where do we go?”

Murray sighs, stepping forward.  “We’ve thought about that.  Right now, there’s only 2 options.  But they’re solid.  The best we’ve got right now.  One more than the other.  See, look —”

Murray went into detail about an abort-mission plan, but it sounded distorted in your ears as the gravity of the situation weighed down on top of your shoulders: you were all splitting up.  And this time might be the last time.

At some point, Mike had started to finally come to life.  His snark was returning, but even he wavered and the fear in his voice wasn’t concealed.  Hopper and El had to level with him, which only flustered Mike and caused him to stutter.  They had him beat, and he knew it.  He wanted to storm off, but Erica had told him to sit his ass down and listen.  It was so unexpected that he did as she said.  But your own brain was playing it all in slow motion.  As Will began asking questions with Dustin, you could see how Lucas had looked like he wanted to ask Erica if she might have already known something — but he didn’t.  Dr. Owens was saying something about Will being tied to the other side of things and being the assigned “El” of their group opposite of her, which fired up Mike as he demanded to know why the hell that required him to be out of the group heading to the frontlines alongside his girlfriend.  Before Hopper could even respond, Eddie was jumping into action along with Jonathan — coming to the retired cop’s defense.  That only bewildered Mike more, which fueled Dustin’s confusion into high gear as he made arguments alongside Mike.  Lucas had thrown his voice into the mix, but when Erica’s was louder — telling them all to listen, for the love of god listen, and Lucas stared at her in silent bemusement.  Will was weakly pleading with them all to please calm down, along with Joyce, who shot Argyle (of all people) a desperate look, and he made his way over to sit down next to Will and tell him it was going to be alright.

“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ALRIGHT,” Mike cried, angry and sad and scared in the way a child made to grow up too soon has every right to be.

“Mike, please,” Nancy’s voice trembled, her blue eyes glassy.

“Nancy, this isn’t okay!!!” Mike wailed.

“M-Mike,” Nancy stammered, her own emotions giving her a shake she couldn’t stop.  “Just l-listen to me…”

“No, you never listen to me!!!” Mike bawled.  “Never!!!”

“Hey hey, Wheeler, hey.”  

Steve finally found his voice as he reluctantly made his way to stand up away from you and approach his kid that was having an absolute breakdown.  Mike was still wailing, but as Steve approached with an unwavering look in his eye — baby Wheeler allowed for the group's assigned babysitter to actually place his hands on his shoulders and try to level with him.  Mike’s face crumbled, his words not making any sense the more he stumbled over them.  All that could be made out was something he was trying to say towards El — something about why and how could you and tell them I’m coming — which made Steve get a firm grip on his shoulders as he told him not to blame her for this.  After all, Steve had all the experience in the world as far as wrongfully placing blame on someone else was concerned…and it made your entire body ache as you watched him soothe Mike, who just bawled and mumbled nonsense in his hold.

El began to cry, too, leaning into Hopper — whose bottom lip trembled.  He bit down on it hard and willed it to stop, his eyes overwhelmed with everything that was unraveling before his eyes. 

Dustin was going back and forth with Erica, but he sounded so pitiful it made your uneven heart crack.  He kept looking over at Steve, begging him to understand.  Please Steve, please, let me go with you.  Eddie moved to immediately hold him, crushing him in more of a death grip than a hug.  The metalhead mumbled into his curly hair — not this time, kiddo, not this time.  Robin had a hand clamped over her mouth, emotions taking over as she barely managed to bite them back.

You stood up instantly, moving to hold Buckley.  She didn’t hesitate to make room for you on the seat, letting you take her in your arms as she shook like a leaf.  You gently swayed her side to side with you, murmuring quiet little words that were meant to be comforting — knowing they weren’t, but offering them anyway.

Your eyes met Jonathan’s across the room as he swayed with Will as well.  His pupils were blown, consumed with dread and drowning in pure misery, and you knew that yours weren’t much different.

Mike had buried his face into Steve’s chest at this point, and it made Nancy cry into her own palms as she curled in on herself.  

“I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice cracking at the end.  She looked at Hopper and your uncle, eyes guilty and full of shame.  “I - I’m sorry.”

Before you could even process what just happened, Nancy was barreling up the stairs.  Jonathan watched her go, panicking.  He looked at Will, then at you — eyes pleading.  You didn’t even let a second pass before you’d squeezed Robin to signal her, standing up to bring her over to where Will was seated.  You took Jonathan’s place as he went after Nancy, holding him tight as Robin leaned against you on your opposite side.  Argyle kept a kind hand on Will’s shoulder, still sitting to the other of him.  

“Steve, please, you die I die, remember?”

Dustin’s whimpered words had to have been the saddest plea you’d ever heard in your life.  Steve almost broke but before he could he flung an arm to sweep Dustin into his hold, as baby Wheeler kept bawling into his chest.  He held them both steady, letting them fall apart in his protective arms and doing everything in his power not to break down with them.  He couldn’t.  If he did, he’d failed them.  But to Steve’s dismay…he did anyway.  He ducked his head down, shaking against the two of his kids, letting himself silently weep with them.  For them. 

Lucas looked utterly heartbroken, which Erica noticed.  The youngest Sinclair cast aside all her pride, looking at her older brother with the most sympathy and love she could have towards anyone in this world, and she threw her arms around him.  He only let it shock him for a second before he held her back, a grateful silence falling over them both.  

You felt tears of your own begin to brim your eyes, but before letting them fall you looked up towards the adults…seeing your uncle first.  Murray looked back at you with every ounce of empathy and solace that could be found inside his dark soul. 

You gave him a soft nod, silently communicating with him.  I understand.  I’m sorry you had to deliver this news, but I’m here and I understand. 

And he returned the soft nod, lips pressed into a thin line but communicating back through eye contact and body language.  I love you and I hate this.  But I’ve got you.

Dimitri stood next to him, eyes somber and downcast.  He was new to the picture, but having seen the other side of things and just how bad a toll this has clearly taken on you all — he mourned for everyone’s pain. 

Dr. Owens had to sit down, unable to speak and wringing his hands.  

Hopper and Joyce held each other, along with El.  They looked at each other, devastated but steadfast.  

This plan was not open for discussion.  

This plan was not open for debate.  

This plan was final.

And so you let the tears crawl over the edges of your eyes, feeling them skate down your cheeks as you clung to Will and Robin and felt the world sit on top of your shoulders.

***

-- so as you can see, shit's getting intense. the gut-wrenching angst approaching has me overwhelmed but I'm so sickeningly happy about it. suffice it to say, Steve & Bauman are my Roman Empire and they are endgame. so if that gives you any sort of hope, given the inevitable doom that is in store for them and everyone else involved...then yay.

<3 this story forever lives on. forever and ever amen. - misha

TAGLIST (ILYSM) If I forgot you or you wanna be added, lmk :)

@aloneinthehellfire @xprloki @erastourvip @get0ut0fmyr00m @Eddiemuns0nl0ver @marrowfrog00 @poppet05 @wiltedflowersundertowers Originalthingparadise Pleuviors pumpkinonice Ihaveproblemsihaveproblems Brinleighsstuff Definitelynotherr sucker-4-angst bookkeeperlove notlilyyyy @goosy-goose nevillescomslut

[moonbeammist]

The Peasant's Secret (Part 1)

A plunge into absurdity

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Dune characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

I don't give permission for any of my fanfiction to be posted, this is also cross posted on my account w/ Archive of our own :)

PAIRINGS: Feyd Rautha x Fem!Fighter!Reader

AUTHORS NOTE: I drew heavy inspiration from the Dune Part Two Soundtrack, truly sets the mood and tone for the story if you wanna have a listen. I appreciate this community of writers/readers! Any feedback and thoughts are most welcome! The 1st Part serves as Prologue, an introduction to your character and her world. Enjoy 💚

WARNINGS: (Mostly for 2nd Chapter): (Adults only 18+) DARK! profanity, extreme violence, torture, gore, sadism, masochism, dubious consent, erotic undertones, heavy petting, reader is a fighter who get's extremly hurt, bigotry against the poor, very immersive, intimacy, touching, feyd-rautha is his sick self, public humiliation, light smut

SUMMARY: As a rice-harvester hailing from Planet Caladan, you knew these things to be true. You and your people were "peasant scum". And as far as you can tell, peasant scum deserved a shot at the vast unknown as much as any noble folk did. Even if the only thing protecting you is a flawed battle-tactic and the falsehoods that you tell yourself. Even if it has you riding a wave into the wicked evils that lie.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k words

PART 1 PART 2

You were in a colourless oasis. It wasn't really an oasis in the scenery sense; it was an oasis in the sense that it felt like a bottomless void, a strange, deafening dream. It was an oasis because it didn't feel like reality. A desolate vision to where no judging eyes would befall you as you threw your whole self, your body, into its ultimate test. That’s how they all made their mark here, isn’t it?

You reflect on Giedi Prime's obscure, bone-dry alternate reality to your home planet of Caladan - you were of peasant descent in the lush, grassy, biodiverse settlements. You and your mother had strengths in labour as rice planters, trading their services to the wealthy nobles in exchange for military protection. A life of labour and sweat in the rice fields, the economy depended on their work, as such, they had little free time.

Stepping foot into the outdoors, the crunch of your cheaply-made, scraggly brown boots is heard as you line up with the rest of the prisoners. The earth smelled of crust, rot, and blood. You somewhat know where you're supposed to end up as Harkonnen soldiers round you up, but at the same time, you haven’t got a clue where you’ll be settling before battle. Wide, dark tunnels arch over the sand like a protective roof against the beating black sun.  You've been given the finest privilege to represent your low-status family members in a brutal and bloody ceremony where this pale, ghostly Harkonnen House cuts you down, down into the dirt. A death deemed worthy. 

A death is worthy when you die with passion because you’re trying - kicking and screaming. It's a beautiful way to go because you feel everything.

The height of your human complexities is shown at the forefront - pushing yourself, testing yourself.. You who initially thought fighting was for those who have a reason to fight, like for political gain and power, defending your home and planets among the stars. However, you have never felt so alive, representing the absolute bottom of the barrel. What joy it would be to see an enemy fall from not hand-to-hand combat, not brute force, but peasant trickery. 

This is worth something.

That’s what you tell yourself. What else can you cling to? You were living for the cultivation of rice before you came here.

Horns erupt in a deep, haunting bass. The ground is shaking. Shaking with such strength that your feet stumble forward, knees scraping the grainy, white sand. Your hands bite into the sand. A guttural song emits from the speakers suddenly, the force of it hitting your chest like a bang. Your body stutters.

Your fellow no-name fighters eyes snap at your movements. Hushed chuckles erupt over the heavy bass. You feel slightly embarrassed as you quickly stumble back up and rub the grainy sand away from your knees and palms. Your eyes narrow.

This is all of your first times, all of your fellow fighters' first essential phases into proving yourself worthy to Harkonnens. Granted, you were vermin first, something to gawk at, something like cattle. As far as you heard from your briefing on the way here, this whole spectacle was based on a test round. If you pass your initial testing round, then - maybe, just maybe, you can live in comfort. There was not much more elaboration than that. Either get cut down, sliced down, gutted down -  or prosper. So why do you feel like you're the only one on edge? You’re in your head too much.

Because I might fucking die.

You swallow that thought down, burying it deep in your stomach, where it should stay.

Underneath the arena, there is a place where the Harkonnen soldiers stop - a small, enclosed burrow tucked away from sight, away from the audience members that fill the seats of the large dome-like sphere of the arena. Through the dark, enclosed area you can make out the bleached atmosphere stretched and rounded out, seeing several egg-like craniums darting up and down in the stands. Their eyes were like inky, beady pools of onyx - almost insect-like. They were thrashing in excitement, the low murmur of chatter and whooping heard.

You look around to your peers. There is nothing really notable about any of you. Dressed in meek wool, burlap, or loin cloth. Prepped with various weapon satchels latched onto waists or knees. You have no advanced shields or armour, that is true. As suicidal as that may seem against these elite brutes, It’s what you represent that really matters. The peasant trickery you have up your sleeve.

You were an only child born to common people. In the small moments, you would take to the hills with your mother and run and play. Your mother's long, flowing hair would crack like a whip against the wind behind her, in a game of “cat and mouse," as she would call it. You would try to grasp at the ends of her hair - your mother's high, sing-songy laughter echoing in the distance as you chased her.

You did not know your father - just that he was a passing tradesman who fell in love with your mother’s quirks and tenacity for adventure; in the odd breaks she could have them between planting rice grain. They spent 6 months together, you heard, and it was passionate. But he could not stay on this planet.

Your mother did not know if he was alive. But despite him leaving, she spoke fondly of him.  “He defied appearances. They thought of him as a simple, dull man in the trades, a grunt. But his intellect was his greatest secret.”

You supposed that maybe you were that small reminder of him to her, as her description of your father shadowed your mother’s slow moulding of your personality over the years. A weak, feeble rice labourer by appearances, always dressed in brown, murky colours to disappear. She did not want anyone to notice you at first glance; let that be your first safety. If they must stumble on you or pester your forgettable existence, you must keep up the act at first glance. You were scared, you were begging for your life like a common peasant. If they continue to prod and seek to damage or harm you, they would pry open the bottle of secrets that came spilling out of you in this fight-or-flight scenario.

You had a lot to learn and a lot to process as Caladan civilians. The threat of Caladan’s as well as other planets' potential hostile nature was something you were keenly aware of, a foot on your back of sorts, as you couldn’t do anything formidle to stop an enemy. 

The peasants, not permitted to use weapons or obtain shields or anything of the sort, could only offer you certain wisdom that was passed among the peoples. One they passed to your mother’s watchful eye and then onto you. They call it the peasant’s secret.

The art of dodging.

“Remember the game of cat and mouse?” You remember your mother’s voice barely over a whisper as she lay beside you one night in woolly sleeping bags on the soft greenery beneath you. The weather was hot enough to enjoy a night outside.  The flow of the river’s stream is heard against her.

You haven’t used the peasant’s secret in awhile. You primarily used it against your mother and your fellow people, as they would take turns throwing you into mock battles. They didn’t have any weapons, but they did collide, push, and throw themselves into your body at full speed, so you had to react quickly. 

They did push you to the limit. Bless them. Until you were an exhausted heap of limbs on the ground and had the wind knocked out of you.

You knew that wasn’t as valuable as practicing it against someone who genuinely wanted to kill you. You didn’t know if the peasant’s secret had successfully saved someone’s life against a brutal attack or if it was just used as a quick get-away.

So yes, you could fall into the trap of thinking you knew what you were doing when, in reality, it was based on instinct. Of course, the arena was a circle. A never-ending loop. Eventually, even though your stamina was now crafted to be well above average, you would eventually get tired. The peasant community of Caladan had a careful, pinpoint focus on the art of dodging rather than hand-to-hand combat or brute force, which made for a very interesting opponent, if you could even call it that. Most of the time, if you could, you were told to outrun them first. So your speed heavily improved. If they were just as fast, then you could begin your dance.

Now, you could finally put it to the test. To see how you fare, to see if it could actually prevent you from getting sliced and diced by the Harkonnens in the arena—albeit for a while. The main thing to keep in mind, as your mother had warned, was to keep your opponent on their toes, snapping not only their mental state but their body. Then, when the time is right, you steal their weapon and use it against them. Today you were permitted a small dagger, strapped and holstered on the outside of your thigh. Although you weren’t concerned about it, you told yourself you would use it as a last resort when they weren’t suspecting you to. You didn’t know how to dance with a weapon; you only knew how to bob and weave without one.

Count Fenring, the Siridar-Absentia of your homeworld Caladan, while the Atreides occupy the planet Arrakis, had dealings with the Harkonnens prior to your descent here. You were never meant to come here. But Count Fenring had called upon the rice labourers one day for a strange proposal. Gathering in the high-esteemed buildings and feeling out of place, your people had looked upon Count Fenring’s narrow, proud face. You knew him to be conniving and manipulative in nature, a renowned assassin, and the Emperor Shaddam’s right-hand man. He was neutral toward the labourers; as long as they kept up on the plantation of their planet’s rice, he had no issues. He would often make dealings with the noblemen and women of Caladan; it was very rare that the rice labourers were added to any conversation.

“House Harkonnen of Giedi Prime is seeking entertainment, to those willing-"  Count Fenring’s voice boomed, sitting atop his makeshift throne. 

His voice is cut off by your thoughts at the Planet’s name. Baron Vladimir Harkonnen of Giedi Prime, called your Count “The ambassador to the smugglers” in spice production. 

He continues. “I know you do not get to leave your trusted duties among the fields very often, but consider this a gift of sorts - whoever is able, and willing to be “battle entertainment” to the Na-Baron of House Harkonnen, Feyd-Rautha, will be permitted to win your chance at freedom to travel to a new planet, a new experience.. You don’t ever have to return.”

An audible chorus of gasps are heard amongst your peoples. Hushed angry whispers fill the room. You gape at the vagrant display of lack of remorse for human life. You knew little, but House Harkonnen enjoyed pleasures in gore and sadism, is what you did know. What’s in it for your Count? This has to do with spice dealings.

“Freedom to die?”  a male voice questioned loudly. “You dangle freedom in the air as if House Harkonnen has any, and to dangle us in front of the Harkonnen brutes like meat!”

The crowd got louder and louder in frustration and opposition. The Count’s voice bellows as his army hits their swords to the ground in a clang to signify the rice labourers to quiet their naysayers. “Enough. To those who are not interested, you may leave. You are not forced to stay. To those that are, please remain.”

A number of your people shuffled out in a hurry, their bodies a large mass squeezing through the royal entryway. You blink. This is downright morbid.  You had never considered such a thing before, as you only knew your planet to be worthy of laying down your roots until the end of time.

You feel your mother reach for your hands. They are warm, and so is her eyes as she peers into the core of your being.

Your planet is beautiful -  access to bodies of lakes, rocky mountains, majestic trees and budding flowers, delicious rice... 

“You should go.” she mutters. “Live for us.”

Her words a grim truth. Brutal honesty. And that was enough for you.

A handful of the peasants stay alongside you. Your mother places her lips upon your cheek in a chaste kiss.  Your tear ducts well with water as her hand leaves your grasp. Somehow, you know it’s too late to turn back now. You don’t know what made you follow Count Fenring onto the ship and not look back. A chaotic chance for something other than field work? A plunge into absurdity?

You could try absurdity for a while, you decided.

PART 1 PART 2

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Editor’s note: This hypothetically open letter was originally posted by its anonymous author on Medium and was rapidly removed as “hate speech.” We found it to be a refreshing dose of honesty, a charming and relatable open letter from one parent to other parents (not to the child, obviously!) about dealing with a challenging and dangerous moment in raising children, especially “weird” adolescents who search for their identities harder than others and risk making life-damaging mistakes in a way never before possible. We are reposting it here on New Discourses with the permission of the author.

--

By: Donna M.

Published: Mar 5, 2021

My dear, sweet, son,

I’ve got to break it to you: you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

This seems like a cruel thing to point out right now. Clearly, you are struggling and feeling pretty awful about things. I can see that you are in a rough patch, and one of the first rules of parenting is to not pile on. The world is pretty heavy on your shoulders. You’re fifteen. There’s a pandemic going on. But here I come anyway. I’m about to throw more on you.

When you were two ­– a happy, chubby, little tyke in pull-ups, you watched the world with wary eyes behind the thumb in your mouth. You leapt with joy in the rhythm of the toddle music classes. You chattered and shared stories about your stuffed animals. You loved your little sister. Enjoyed cookies and finger painting. That was all pretty normal.

But you also started to count to one thousand on our walks. And you started to call out the store names as we drove around. And you preferred reading books rather than playing with the other two-year-olds at preschool. And you hated sitting in the circle when instructed. And you hated the feel of blue jeans. And you threw big tantrums when you lost any kind of game. In other words, you started to show signs that you were… weird.

The grandparents were the first to notice. They said gentle things like “You oughta keep an eye on that one,” and sent us links to Wall Street Journal articles about child prodigies. And then the other parents in the play groups started to comment; “He’s pretty intense, huh?” And the teachers were on to it pretty quickly. They started to use fancy terms like “asynchronous development.”

By third grade, we realized you were different, but we still didn’t realize you were weird. Truthfully, we’re used to people like you. Our family is full of engineers, artists, musicians, computer programmers, and a lot of “free-thinkers.” Family gatherings always have chess, political debates, and quartets around the piano. That’s just us.

And besides, you had a small but solid group of friends. There was Pokémon, then Minecraft, then Magic, then Dungeons and Dragons, then Catan. You were never in the center of things, but you weren’t alone.

But then, in middle school, things started to change. By 7th grade, school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized. People kept calling you smart, but the teachers were annoyed at your humor, and frustrated that you wouldn’t or couldn’t follow the guidelines for assignments. Classmates didn’t appreciate your frank (if accurate) descriptions of their efforts. I’ll admit, we got pretty frustrated with you, too.

And then puberty arrived, with its triple curse of acne, braces, and bizarre growth. The girls appeared to have it all together (I know they don’t, but they do appear that way). And the popular boys seemed to know exactly what to do. They can talk sports to each other, they brag about their romantic exploits. They never get in trouble for stupid reasons like forgetting an assignment three times in a row. Your anxiety started to kick in, and it seemed like you got smaller. And some of your guy friends moved on.

So you drifted over to the weird-o crowd. Well — I’m not sure what you call yourselves, but that’s what we would have called you back when I was in school. At different schools these are the geeks, or the theater kids, the math team kids, or the artsy-fartsy kids. This used to be where the gay kids ended up, but I think they’re more dispersed now. You get some kids whose parents are going through some rough times. Some girls with anorexia. A few boys who are edgy and angry. Kids with a great sense of humor and big hearts.

And some of these kids are really passionate. Just full of righteous anger about the injustices of the world. And some of them are dramatic. And truthfully, that looks pretty attractive to you. Because you share some of that confusion and anger about the world. And though you may not be sure what you think or what you feel, you are certain you don’t want to be on the bad side. You certainly aren’t like those popular boys with their suave charm and dominating manners. You’re not like them at all.

You’re actually more like those vibrant girls who can speak for hours about their ideas. Well, you would be if you could find the words to speak. And there is something so fascinating about those girls, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’d never think about talking to those girls anyway, because that’d be weird. Because you are weird. You’ve never been good at chit-chat, or eye contact. Or girls. And besides, you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong impression. You understand that your peers are starting to date, but you really don’t see the point. Sex is still gross and weird to you. It’s better to just call yourself “asexual” or “pansexual.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card that helps you avoid the whole mess. And your group of friends tell you that you are super cool and brave for being able to say that about yourself.

But you’ve fallen into a funk. Anyone can see that. But computer games help. And there’s always trying to beat the speed record for that one game you’re kinda good at. And that one guy on reddit always has good tricks. And the people on that message board seem to get your humor.

So when one of them posts a meme about trans rights, it makes sense that you’d check it out. You’re curious! You’re a free thinker! You’re not like the normies. And the web quiz hits home. You do feel discomfort with your body. You don’t like sports. You do wonder what it would be like to be a girl. You’ve always felt like something was different about you.

You’re right. There is something different about you.

But you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

So we’re right here for you. We’ll always be here for you. But those online folks who urge you to “crack your trans egg” and rush to hormones and surgeries don’t know you at all. They don’t know that gifted kids and ADHD kids and Autism kids and Asperger’s kids are slower to develop emotionally and sexually. They don’t know that sexuality takes time and experience to figure out, and that the majority of trans teens seeking medical treatment haven’t even masturbated or kissed someone yet. They don’t know that 80% of trans children end up becoming comfortable with their birth sex if you just give them time. They don’t know that there are increasing numbers of desisting and de-transitioning people in their twenties. They don’t realize that hormones permanently stunt your growth, decrease your IQ, and can cause sterility. They don’t know that these hormones are prescribed off-label and there’s no research on the long-term outcomes. They don’t even know that the most recent research shows that short-term outcomes are clearly worse.

They don’t realize that you’re weird. But I do. You’re weird, kiddo. You’ll figure that out in a year or two. But that’s okay. We are all weird. And I love you anyway. You’re going to be just fine.

==

You always hear stories and justifications like, "she never liked wearing a dress," or "he always hated having his hair cut." This is post-hoc confirmation bias. Not only does this confirm everything critics say about this being a movement based on gross stereotypes, but they always leave out things like, "she refused to eat anything yellow," and "he was obsessed with elevator and crossing buttons and would cry if he wasn't the one to light it up."

It's okay to be weird.

[icequeenbae]

Boy Next Door (m) Ch.4 (fin) | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Warnings: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), some altercations, a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 3.7k (pt.4)

Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)

Author’s note: Yesss, the time has come for the final part of the series to drop~ This is more on the fluffy side tbh, but I hope you find it to be a pleasant ending to this mini-series. As usual, please don't be shy to leave feedback in any way you prefer, I track all of your replies/ reblogs/ asks ❤️ And thank you for giving so much love to my stories, I do appreciate that a lot!!

Tags: @bbh-net  @k-vanity  @ksmutsociety @lavnderluv @cupreoussyzygy @byunbaek-hyun-04 @blue-rainydays

‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me earlier!!’

Yuki was over for girl’s night, and this time, she wasn’t the only one gushing about her prosperous sex life.

‘I was waiting for test results.’

‘Huh? Test results?’

You realized that you’d just spilled all the beans you didn’t intend to spill.

‘Uh- we didn’t exactly- you know?’

‘What?’ She asked suspiciously, probably not even imagining that you could get so careless.

‘Well…’ You swirled your hand around abstractly.

‘I don’t know what that means- Wait. No, you didn’t!?’ Judging by her lit-up eyes, she guessed right. ‘You little hoe!!’

‘Look who’s talking.’

‘Yes, I’m talking. And I want to know everything. Starting with the result of that test, actually. You stupid hoe.’

Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

‘It’s negative. Thankfully… But it was really stupid of me, I know.’

‘Well, did he at least pull out on time? It’s not a safe option, but the timing is somewhat important…’

‘He did. Although he said, he’s never had sex without condoms.’

‘Damn. I should change what I said to ‘you lucky hoe’! I hope you took that test properly.’

You nodded. That was the first time you had to march into a pharmacy to get pregnancy tests. And you had no clue about how to choose out of the dozens of available options. The only reason you were able to ask for help was that you wore a mask – to save you some face, literally.

But that landed you with a few options and some instructions to follow. You had also gotten your period after your two-day sexcapade with Baekhyun, so you were pretty sure you were lucky this time. But you were still concerned with the long-term options. Something you’d left for the future discussion with your physician.

There were other things on your mind right now.

‘Actually, there’s something else that’s been bothering me.’ You mentioned reluctantly. ‘We haven’t… made it official. I mean- he hasn’t asked me yet. Is that… indicative of anything?’

The thought was bugging you daily.

The words ‘Would you be my girlfriend?’ or anything of the sort, had never left your neighbor’s mouth. And you were the one who shamelessly got drunk, ended up in his bed, made him sleep in it with you, and then… Weren’t you so very eager to jump into having sex with him?

Not to mention that you’d stayed at his place for two whole days, Sunday being filled by more domestic delights, and… Even more sex. It seemed like Baekhyun was focused on you and completely insatiable. You couldn’t remember doing it more than once or twice a day, so you were stunned as you realized you had gone four times. His stamina was surprisingly remarkable.

It was a relief that you had to eventually leave his apartment, for you had to work on Monday. As you ran a bath at your place, you realized how sore and exhausted you were. The fact that just a couple days prior, you got shitfaced was probably a contributing factor, but also, the amount of physical activity was very unusual for your body. Though this was a great type of exhaustion, and you had the deepest sleep that night.

But now, almost two weeks later, you were pretty anxious about how your relationship was progressing. Relaying all of the basics to your friend and asking for her opinion was supposed to make you feel better; however, she shared your concerns.

‘This is weird. So, he had time to sex you up multiple times but not ask you a simple question?’ She frowned. ‘You know how it is here, Y/N… You’re not official until you say the words.’

You knew. And that wasn’t even the only cause for your uncertainty.

‘It’s not only that, but… We haven’t really hung out since.’ You mumbled, expecting a big reaction from your friend.

‘What?! Is the bastard ghosting you??’ She rose from her seat, looking ready to burst into his apartment and give him a piece of her mind.

‘No, he um- he had to go to some distant town for a work assignment. He told me that there might not be any internet connection since they would be on some military base or something like that. He said it would last a bit over a week, and then he’ll visit his family for a few days and get in touch with me from there.’

‘So, has he?’

‘So far… No.’ You admitted.

Yuki huffed, her eyebrows knitting together angrily.

‘Yah. That seems fishy as hell. Why wouldn’t he at least send you a text? Who disappears after having someone over for the entire weekend of fucking??’

‘We weren’t doing it the entire weekend…’ You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up again.

‘Come on! He didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend, disappeared on a ‘mission’ that sounds unrealistic, and hasn’t gotten back to you for almost two weeks? Wow, was I wrong about him.’

You scratched your temple, exhaling hopelessly. She just voiced everything that you thought to yourself. You kept giving him the benefit of the doubt in your head, but she was right. It was too odd for someone to vanish into thin air like this right after what had happened between the two of you. This was the hard truth, and it hit your softest, most vulnerable spot. Your heart.

‘I guess so,’ you muttered, voice a bit scratchy with the inevitable tears you held back. ‘What do I even do now, Yu? I like him a lot, which is precisely why I didn’t want to start anything…’

‘First of all, stop crying. If he decided to do this on purpose, he is a dickhead. And doesn’t even deserve to call you his girlfriend.’

She reached out her hands to wipe the stray tears off your cheeks.

‘Second… You need to grow some balls, Y/N. Don’t let people take you for granted or make you feel less than you are!’ She said in a serious tone. ‘I’ve told you this before: you shouldn’t retreat to your shell when someone attacks. You’re strong, beautiful, and an amazing person, capable of giving them hell if you need to!’

Snorting at Yuki’s passionate speech straight out of some girl power drama, you shook your head.

‘Yes, you are! Stop feeling sorry. If someone hurts you – don’t let them. I don’t mean Baekhyun exclusively. You know you’ve been in various situations lately where defending yourself was vital. Stop being a good, cautious girl who gets into her own head before saying anything. Act the way you want, and if someone is offended – it’s their problem. I’ve seen you speak your mind before, and it was damn powerful. That’s why it’s time that you do it for you.’

It wasn’t hard to guess what she was referring to. You’d been keen on staying collected on the outside and hid your emotions fairly well. You’d never let your struggles show, even when you were going through a difficult time at your previous job. You preferred crying in the restroom during lunch break to letting anyone know.  You didn’t want to deal with that. Sad or angry, you processed every thought before opening your mouth and saying something, just because you knew how hot-tempered you could become if you didn’t keep your tongue in check.

However, you did let it slip sometimes, mostly when someone hurt the people you love, as opposed to you. A couple years ago, you had to pick Yuki up from a random party she was stuck at, and there was a guy who made unwanted moves on her. As you arrived at the scene, you had to search the entire house for her until you walked into the kitchen, where the bloke was trying to kiss her while she was shoving him away. You vaguely recalled what you did… grabbing his shoulder to turn him around, kneeing him in the balls without hesitation. Yuki later shared that she sobered up as she heard you swearing excessively at him. You told him everything on your mind, and he was scared to talk back. Apparently, you looked like a force of nature back then.

And although this wasn’t the first time you’d done something like this, it was mostly reserved for someone else. But now that you were contemplating your life… You found that you might’ve been missing the point all along.

‘Actually… You have a point, Yu.’

Your best friend blinked, surprised by your response. She’d been trying to get through to you many times before, and now you finally listened?

‘Why should I always be the one to swallow my pride or feel uncomfortable? I’ve always been a good girl, and where did it get me?’ You wiped your face dry. ‘I’m not gonna do a one-eighty and become a crazy bitch now, but it’s time to let go. I won’t try to reach him or wait for him at the door. If he was one of the bastards who thought I was too boring to have a relationship with, well… Fuck him then. I’m done with feeling bad about myself.’

‘Yay! That’s what I’m saying. You go, girl!’

‘I’m sure I’ll get over him in no time. Yes, we’re neighbors; it’s gonna be awkward. But why should I be the one worried about it? I’ll be sure to let him know I don’t give a shit about him and his stunts if I ever see him again.’

‘That’s the spirit, Y/N-ah! Gosh, this calls for a celebration. Where’s the champagne I brought last time?’

‘I hoped you’d ask. In the fridge.’ You chuckled.

‘Coming right up,’ she winked, already headed to the cupboard to get the glasses.

***

Friday rolled in, having you overcome the struggles of getting work done while having your head elsewhere. Your office hours were so long and miserable that you were dead set on doing your house chores and then going straight to bed tonight. Just to sleep in tomorrow, wake up completely free for the day, and order from your favorite restaurant and chill. If anyone deserved a feast, it was definitely you! Rewarding yourself for getting through the week and spending five minutes not thinking about your personal life was a great achievement in your book. Maybe not great, but a triumph.

Walking up to the entrance, you saw a tall figure there.

It didn’t seem familiar until you were a ten-second walk away. Then you realized – it was that woman. That one who broke into Baekhyun’s apartment while you were there. And the one who called him up about having dinner together at his place.

Your first instinct was to turn around and sneak through another entry point. You hated confrontation, especially in case you didn’t initiate it. At this time, all you wanted was a quiet evening, and it was about to be ruined.

Your pride, however, didn’t allow you to back down. Suddenly, your conversation with Yuki replayed in your mind. She was right; you shouldn’t let anyone treat you that way or make you feel any less. And if you had to withstand a pointless attack, you could simply fire back. With that in mind, you reached the gate.

‘You!’ The voice made you sigh and brace yourself before turning around. ‘It is you! I’ve seen you before.’

‘Congrats,’ you shrugged, ready to walk away.

She grabbed your forearm.

‘Are you going to Baekhyun again?’

‘I find it unlikely that my destination is any of your business. Let go of me.’

She gritted her teeth, squeezing your arm painfully.

‘Listen, whore. I’ve been working on him for months, and as soon as I’ve made progress, you swing by and think you’re-’

‘No, you listen, bitch.’ You ripped out of her grasp, completely fed up with this. ‘I don’t care if you think you’re entitled to have him. But let me tell you this. I live on the thirteenth floor, so if I see you there again, I’m calling the police. Stop creeping around my house and get a life.’

‘You-’

‘Is everything alright?’ You turned to the security, who most likely caught your exchange in front of the gates on CC TV and decided to come check it out.

‘Yes,’ you nodded, pressing your code in and pushing through the entrance. ‘This person is blacklisted on our building, check under Byun Baekhyun. And please make sure she doesn’t sneak in and cause more trouble.’

‘Of course.’ The guard made sure the door was appropriately locked after you.

The woman, whose name you still didn’t know, shouted profanities at your back as you walked away.

You hated confrontation, but this felt good.

Later this evening, you gladly told your best friend about it.

‘Damn, you should’ve called me as soon as you got home! This is so cool,’ she yelled as you relayed the story.

‘I wanted to clean up first. You know we talk for hours… I'm glad I did; I’m sure I’d have zero energy if I had to do it now. I’m already in bed and so sleepy.’

As if to emphasize your point, you let out a loud yawn.

‘How graceful. I am in bed too, but I wish I could see her face when you… Is there a way to get my hands on the security footage?? I’d flirt with your guards just to have a chance to see that!’

You heard someone grumble in the background.

‘I’m sure you’d love to see that footage just as much as me, Seokie,’ she teased.

‘Ew, don’t tell me you’re in bed with Hoseok right now!’

‘What if I am? Jealous?’ She asked, and you rolled your eyes.

‘Sure. I hate you lovebirds.’

‘He’s been eavesdropping on your story about that bitch you put in her place, and he looks impressed.’

‘You go, Y/N-ah!’ You heard Hoseok shout.

‘Thanks,’ you giggled, feeling at ease. ‘That’s at least one source of frustration off my shoulders.’

‘Aw, you’re still upset about that bastard going MIA on you?’

‘I’m trying not to think about it. But… Baekhyun’s either been offline everywhere or has blocked me. I just keep thinking… If it’s the former, what if something happened?’’

‘Oh ,Y/N. I hate that you’re this kind. Next time you see him, tell him off just like his stalker.’

‘I guess,’ you agreed weakly. ‘Anyways, tomorrow is a new day, and I have great plans, so I need to sleep now.’

‘By great plans you mean ordering food and wearing pajamas all day?’

‘You know me so well! Don’t bother coming over, I’m not gonna share. It’s a me-day.’

‘Ugh, what a hoe.’

‘I’m hanging up.’

You put your phone away, giggling at her goodbye growl. She always knew when to tease you to make you relax, and it was one of the reasons you considered her a great friend.

She was always there to back you up and listen to your whining, if needed. At least when you went back to being alone again, you weren’t completely alone.

***

You danced eagerly to the door, ready to pick up your order. It was afternoon, and you were hungrier than a wolf. The delivery guy had just sent you a picture of your package, so you were to simply get it at your doorstep. Which was how you preferred it – living alone as a woman could be slightly creepy, so all contacts with strangers were to be avoided. Your apartment building had great security, but… better safe than sorry.

Thinking all that, you opened the door without checking if the coast was clear. Since you were already crouched to get the package off the floor, you instantly saw a pair of legs in front of you. Male legs. Someone was standing right outside of your door.

You quickly glanced up, meeting the chocolate eyes.

And then grabbed the doorknob, trying to shut the door. But a swift foot in the doorway prevented you from doing so.

‘Whoa, wait a second, Y/N-ah!’

You still wouldn’t budge, so Baekhyun continued.

‘I know what it must’ve looked like, but let me explain. Please, Y/N. I know I fucked up.’

He tried stealing a glance at your face through the crack on the door, but you turned away.

‘Why should I listen to a single word you say?’

‘Don’t you want to know what really happened?’

Trying to make up your mind, you looked down at the package in your other hand.

‘I’ll need five minutes tops to set the table.’ You announced, letting go of the doorknob and allowing him to follow you inside. ‘Be done till then, I don’t wanna spoil my healthy appetite.’

You said that while walking towards the kitchen to get your food out. Baekhyun put something suspicious on the floor and stepped into the kitchen silently.

Expecting him to start the explanation, you huffed.

‘Your time is going to be up before you know it!’

‘I’m sorry.’ He said, voice heavy with guilt. ‘I’m sorry if I made you upset. I know we agreed that I’d stay in touch, and I didn’t. But I promise you I didn’t disappear on purpose.’

You began taking out containers of food from your delivery.

‘My phone was handed in the entire assignment because that base wouldn’t allow any devices inside but our pre-approved laptops. I was planning to text you as soon as I arrived at my family home because when I received my phone back it was dead.’

Listening to him talk, you avoided looking his way. You wanted to process his words without any additional… distractions. It was time to be rational; meeting his warm, guilty gaze again would cost you half of your battle spirit.

‘I left it to charge as soon as I got home, but…’

He made a big, almost theatrical pause.

‘But?’ You nudged, wishing to know the truth.

‘I don’t know how to say this… Uh- Siwoo wanted to take a picture of something outside just to be playful and accidentally dropped it out the window.’

It was your turn to pause. Was he kidding you with that story?? You couldn’t believe he was trying to blame all of this on a child.

Your thoughts must’ve displayed clearly on your face, so he fished his phone out of his back pocket.

It was brand new. It was evident that the model was upgraded, and the color was different, too.

‘I restored the photos from the cloud, I can show you the picture he too—’

The shiny new device was proof enough for you, and you weren’t willing to have him provide you with further evidence of his innocence. Nevertheless, you wanted to make sure he was genuine in his apology.

‘Why couldn’t you at least call our building and ask them to give me a message?’

He stood there, stupefied, for what seemed like an eternity before his expression turned into a sheepish grin.

‘I could’ve… done that?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

Clearly, the thought had never crossed his mind.

You rolled your eyes and turned to the kitchen counter. The table was set, and you only needed to get the plates. The prettier ones were reserved for the rare occasions when you had guests, so you had to reach for them.

‘Y/N…’ Baekhyun whined, sounding uncharacteristically childish in his desperation. ‘I also brought you an ‘I’m sorry’ present…’

Hearing this made you snap.

‘Why would you do that? It’s not like we’re dating!’

He was taken aback by your words.

‘What do you mean we’re not?’ He asked, completely bewildered. ‘Are you seeing someone else?’

‘No, but-’ It was your turn to mumble. ‘You never asked me…’

Baekhyun looked at you as if you were crazy. Then, his frown transformed into something else.

‘Oh god, Y/N…’ He sighed, leaning on the counter behind you with one hand. ‘I thought it was obvious. I was serious about you from the very beginning, but if you want me to say it, I will say it.’

You waited for him to finish.

‘Please be informed that I’ve considered you my girlfriend this entire time. And I know I fucked up, so… are you gonna break up with me?’

‘I’m debating it,’ you responded gruffly.

‘Y/N-ah,’ He pressed, still hovering over you while his arm inched closer and closer to your frame. ‘I’ll do anything you want to make it up to you.’

Taking in his hopeful eyes, you pointed to the kitchen cabinet.

‘I need plates.’

Following the direction of your index finger, Baekhyun looked up. He reached over you, almost hugging you with one arm, and gave you what you wanted.

‘Thank you.’

He perked up, a question in his eyes. ‘What now?’

Although you were still grumpy, your heart was beginning to warm up to him. So easily.

‘Go sit at the table. I’m hungry.’

Baekhyun’s chocolate orbs instantly lit up.

‘Does it mean you forgive me?’

The hopefulness of his tone made your façade crack.

‘You’ve mentioned a goodie bag?’ You squinted at the huge paper bag he left at the door, just to avoid crumbling right in front of him.

Baekhyun smiled cheekily.

‘It’s all yours. Babe.’

You ignored the term of endearment, turning your back on him to hide your warming cheeks.

‘Get yourself another set of chopst—’

Your boyfriend gave you an abrupt back hug.

‘B-Baekhyun?’

‘I really missed you, Y/N-ie.’ He whispered in your ear, nearly busting your eardrum with a kiss. ‘Also, my entire family wants to meet you…’

‘What?? Already?’

‘Mhm. And here you were, thinking we weren’t even dating,’ he snickered. ‘Once I got you, I’m not letting you go.’

‘You are,’ you huffed. ‘Otherwise, you’re standing between me and food. And I got an appetite, you know?’

‘I know.’ His smile tickled your neck pleasantly. ‘It’s one of the many things I love about you.’

It was impossible to turn into mush faster than you did.

Masterlist

A/N: Okaaaay, we're done with another mini-series!!! Congrats to you and I haha Thank you for following this story till the end <3 And a huge thank you to all of my lovely readers that left their comments to each installment of the series! Ily 💕

[mirisss]

Enhypen poly reaction to "The new Kard"

Pairing: Enhypen OT6 (not including Niki because he’s a minor) x idol! (Y/n)

Wordcount ≈ 600

Warning: Kard’s song Cake is referenced (quite a sexual song & choreo), some sexual innuendo, mdni, nothing explicit,  

Summary: In a world where the Kard we know today doesn’t exist, instead a new Kard is created. “The new Kard” = (Y/n) - 02 liner dating Enhypen, Keeho (P1harmony), Ricky (ZB1), & Yunjin (Lesserafim). So how will Enhypen react to their beloved girlfriend’s debut? 

Authors note: Thank you for the request! This was such a fun idea, I’m not an expert when it comes to Kard but I listen to their music every now and then. It’s sort of short but it’s mostly because it’s a reaction fic. Not my best work, but I hope you still enjoy it. 

Request by 🍮 - anon

Please reblog! 

Third person POV

(Y/n) participated in I-Land with the Enhypen boys where they all fell in love and entered a poly relationship, though unfortunately, (Y/n) did not debut with the boys. Instead (Y/n) had to wait another 2 years until she got to debut, her debut group was one-of-a-kind as it was a four-member co-ed group consisting of Yoon Keeho, Huh Yunjin, (L/n) (Y/n), and Shěn Ricky. 

Enhypen was waiting for the MV for (Y/n)’s debut song to drop. They couldn't wait to see the choreo or hear the song as (Y/n) had told them, they would be very surprised. The members were counting down the seconds to see the MV, just the same as a lot of pre-debut fans were. Enhypen had gotten permission from HYBE to stream their reaction to the MV as it was well known that Enhypen and The New Kard were good friends, the relationship between Enhypen and (Y/n) hadn’t been released yet but the fans knew the two groups were good friends. 

“3, 2, 1! It’s out!!! LET’S GO!!!” Jake screamed as the other five boys laughed. Jake clicked on the now-posted MV for “Cake” by The New Kard, they were very intrigued by the name ‘Cake’. (For reference here, check out Cake by Kard). Throughout the entire MV, the Enhypen boys kept shouting “OH! WAH! Holy!” And things alike it. The fans watching the stream were freaking out over Enhypen’s reactions as the boys seemed to be speechless but also a little turned on by the way they were blushing and watching one of the Kard members. The fans couldn’t tell if it was Yunjin or (Y/n) they were so focused on. 

Once the MV was over, the Enhypen boys were blushing and giggling like crazy. “Wah, that was, wow,” Was all Jay managed to say. A few minutes later they ended the live and called (Y/n), asking her to come over. 

* When (Y/n) arrives at Enhypen’s dorm * 

“Hey guys,” “Hey, baby,” Heesung said as he gave (Y/n) a hug the second she stepped inside. (Y/n) noticed the looks the boys had in their eyes, it was playful. “Come on, come inside,” Sunoo said giving her his signature innocent smile that she loved, though the look in his eyes told a very different story to his smile. “What’s up with you guys?” “Hmm, (Y/n), why don’t you show us the choreo to Cake? We want to see it live,” Sunghoon whispered in her ear, causing chills to run down her back. “Please, baby? It looked so good in the MV, I bet it looks much better in real life,” Jungwon said before kissing her cheek. “Of course,” If anyone else had asked, (Y/n) would never have done it but now it was her dear boyfriends and she too felt very excited by their reaction. 

Not my gifs - but this is pretty much how I imagine their reactions

[solavelyan]

I was tagged to do a fic author self rec with 5 of my personal favorites by @crackinglamb! I wrote rarepair stuff I really liked last year and feel like some other stuff aged well, so I'm gonna go for it. (And it's all Dragon Age, so I'm doing this on ye olde sideblog whee.)

Solas/F!Trevelyan is kind of what I hang my hat on around here a little bit, so I'll start with those. Most of the time the Trevelyan in question is my best girl, Thayet. She's not my most self-indulgent OC but she's definitely up there.

pull the moon to the waves (Explicit, Solas/F!Trevelyan, 10,640 words) - A canon divergent fic where Solas and Thayet admit their feelings for each other (kind of) during the journey from Haven to Skyhold, and that kicks off the romance instead of the Fade kiss in Skyhold.

This fic ruined my life a little bit because apparently if you write the Inquisitor getting fisted in a tent one time, three years later your friends are still telling "tentfic" and "fisting" jokes like they're getting a tax writeoff for it. It's also just the story that seems to keep coming back! It's actually a rewrite of an older fic called "the responsible thing" (objectively a horrible title but I'm not changing it now) from 2018 that I did as a kink meme fill, and it's getting a second rewrite as part of a longer fic that I'm working on right now but isn't getting posted yet.

Bittersweet & Strange (Mature, Solas/F!Trevelyan, 37,188 words) - A Beauty and the Beast retelling where Skyhold is the enchanted castle and Fen'Harel is the beast that haunts it.

I wrote this in less than 2 months for the @dacreateathon in 2022, and there's a part of me that would love to do a rewrite to let it be longer (...and smuttier), but I'm intensely proud of how it turned out given the time frame. I actually had Lamb and @ir0n-angel beta this one for me to help me stay on schedule, which was invaluable, I never, ever would have finished it without them being my accountability buddies and spellcheckers. I really really enjoyed writing it and think very fondly of it.

Hawke is Dead/Not Dead (Explicit, Fenris/F!Hawke, 3,224 words) - Fenris and Hawke both make for Skyhold after Adamant, Fenris because Hawke is dead, Hawke because Hawke is alive.

I wrote this for my very first exchange ever, @dasmutquisition, in 2022 (which currently has open sign-ups, btw!). I'm so fond of it and I honestly think the best parts of it are before any of the smut happens.

dying now a second time (Mature, F!Trevelyan/M!Lavellan, 17,058 words) - Taking place mostly pre-Inquisition during Thayet Trevelyan's time as a Templar, this one is mostly from the perspective of the First Enchanter of Ostwick Circle, who is a very, very canon divergent M!Lavellan, Aeryk. Told in four vignettes, it focuses on the requited but ultimately tragic love affair between them in the Circle and in the aftermath of its fall.

Aeryk is my wife's OC, so this is part creative endeavor, part personal love letter. We write together a lot, and over the last 10 years Aeryk and Thayet have gone from kind of a silly ship that we fell into during an RP game to something rather serious and dramatic that makes it into... pretty much everything we do together. They've both changed so much over the years, and DA!Aeryk has been a vague figure in Thayet's backstory for years before I really sat down to hammer out details. The wife gave me her endorsement and a lot of freedom to add details to him for this continuity.

Although it might say something about me that I got her permission to use Aeryk for fic and immediately used it to basically edge him for 17,000 words before metaphorically murdering him. So, uh. Sorry, buddy. I love u. It's a really good fic, though, I swear.

more and smaller ways of dying (Explicit, F!Trevelyan/M!Lavellan, 5,011 words) - An alternate version of chapter 3 of "dying now a second time", where Aeryk is cured of his Tranquility by the Breach and he and Thayet fuck on the floor of the Redcliffe Chantry after dispatching Alexius.

I felt bad about the other fic. Felt like they deserved it. And honestly this isn't even the only time I'm spinning off from "dying now...", I'm halfway through the first chapter of a fic that starts just after the end of the first chapter. I love them. Make them kiss. Mwuah.

I'm going to tag @volkoss, @queenaeducan, @dismalzelenka, @jellydishes, @sulky-valkyrie, and whomever else would like to do it :D

[diffidentphantom]

Built For Sin - Husk x OFC - Chapter I

Summary: Mystic is a fox sinner who has been in hell for 44 years. Like most sinners who have been around for a bit, she has seen and done a little bit of everything. But after finding out about the Hazbin Hotel, from a long-time acquaintance of hers, she goes there to seek redemption. (Or see if that could be possible for someone like her.) What she didn't didn't expect to find there though, was the now ex-Overlord who had owned her soul. Nor did she expect to see him have seemingly turn over a new leaf. Will Mystic be able to learn how to forgive and forget? Or will she stay stuck looking back at the past?

will contain Dark!Overlord Husk in flashback scenes

Story Rating: M For Mature - 18+ Readers Only!!! -

Please Read the Trigger Warning's Down Below to Decide if This Story Is Right For You!

Trigger Warning's: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dark Themes, Dark Romance, Enemies to Lovers, BDSM, DubCon, Alcoholism, Gambling, Owning Another's Soul, Master-Servant Relationship, Depictions of Physical Abuse, Depictions of Sexual Abuse, Depictions of Sexual Harassment, Mentions of Genocide, Mentions of Cannibalism, Mentions of Torture, Depictions of Drug Use, Mentions of Drug Overdose, Blasphemy - will update the warning's as needed

Author's Note: This story was inspired by a post that was written by @trashogram. Their original post containing the idea can be found HERE. I have their full permission to use this idea for this fanfic. Please consider checking out their stories too.

Story Posted: 09-25-2024

Publishing Schedule: Updates for this story will be every other Friday.

Word Count: 919

Husk let out a tired sigh as he wiped the inside of another glass at the bar located inside the Hazbin Hotel. 

It had only been a few weeks and a couple of days since Alastor returned from his… sabbatical. A few weeks and a couple of days, since Husk had been pulled from his own life and dragged into this new scheme for entertainment. And while a majority of him grumbled about being back at the red-haired prick’s beck and call, another smaller part of him was grateful that Alastor was back.

As soon as he was out from under Alastor’s thumb, Husk quickly fell back to some familiar vices.

Gambling. 

Booze. (both the expensive or cheap, depending on how much he had won in a game)

And of course, every now and then when the urge hit him, call girls. Or men. Depending on the mood. 

Now, stuck at the ‘Redemption Hotel’ - Husk’s pockets were empty, and the only booze he got to enjoy was the cheap shit that was given to him by his boss. 

— He didn’t have an issue with cheap alcohol. It worked great in a pinch for an alcoholic like him to satisfy the craving. But Husk, more often than not, missed the days when he had his private stash of the expensive stuff that he could access 24/7. (He mourned the loss of his imported beer, wine, and spirits from the human world. Small comforts of home that Alastor had quickly confiscated for himself, as soon as a metal collar and leash were wrapped around his throat)

Letting out a sigh and mumbling lowly in irritation, Husk took the rag out of the martini glass before slinging it over his shoulder. He then grabbed said glass and put it back into its proper spot. Eyeing the bottle of open beer he had left on the counter, Husk swiped it and began to guzzle down the liquid in large gulps. 

It was honestly no wonder he was so easily frustrated and grumpy than normal. Cutting an addict off from most of their vices cold turkey is not a fun process to go through. 

(The only company he also got nowadays, was platonic in the form of the other demons inhabiting the hotel. And he for sure, was NOT going to ask any of them to ‘canoodle’. Whether they were single or not.) 

“Heya, Whiskers.” A male baritone voice with a Brooklyn-Italian accent greeted, as a familiar white and pink spider sinner entered the lobby. 

Husk glared as he put his bottle down and wiped his mouth, with his forearm. 

Angel Dust was one person in this hotel he wished he could avoid sometimes. 

Husk disliked the porn star’s over-eagerness to please, the constant dirty jokes, and always getting into his personal space to the point it almost bordered on sexual harassment. (Not to mention the late nights, when he came to the hotel from his job, limping, exhaustion washed over him like a blanket, and bruises that were carefully concealed. Seeing the spider sinner like that, took Husk back to his early years in hell. Reminded him of-)

“What do you want?” Husk growled, his voice rough with barely concealed hostility. As he gripped the underside of the countertop in a tight grip. He couldn’t think of her right now.

But Angel shook his head and grinned as he plopped himself into a barstool. “Nothing besides water for me right now, Husky.” He teased using the stupid nickname curated for him. 

Husk let out an annoyed huff but got out a new glass and filled it with water anyway before handing it to the arachnid. After he passed the drink, he leaned back against the liquor shelf behind him and stared at Angel. Contemplating. 

The bar area was silent for a full two minutes. An air of tension hovers between the two male sinners. And then Angel Dust spoke up. 

“Didya’ know we got a new guest?” He asked.

Husk raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t known that which was surprising for several reasons.

“Did we?” He replied, tone curious as he reached for his bottle again. “When?” 

This time instead of gulping down the drink, he took a small - but generous - sip. 

“Some time last night.” Angel Dust supplied with a shrug. “She knows Smiles though. They at least seemed to be acquainted with one another.”

Husk rolled his eyes and took another swig of his bottle. He really didn’t need to know any more of Alastor’s friends. Rosie and Niffty were special cases. Rosie because she was an old friend of his as well, and Niffty because…well, she was NIffty. 

Husk watched as Angel opened his mouth to say something, but cut himself off when a mix of voices rounded the corner. 

“—and of course, we have the lobby area with the reception, lounge, and bar.” Charlie’s voice informed (who Husk guessed was) the newest hotel resident. 

Husk had just taken another swig of his drink, when Charlie rounded the corner with a large smile her arms extending wide, as she did a twirl while showing off the space. 

“Well,” an eerily familiar female voice spoke up. “The hotel is really…something.” 

Husk choked on his drink, causing him to splutter and cough in surprise. 

Four heads turned to look over at him. 

Charlie and Vaggie gazed at him in concern and confusion. 

Alastor in open mockery and amusement. 

And…the one face that haunted his dreams in pure, unadulterated hatred and shock. 

[lennsart]

The pipeline from sweet apple to sour lemon?

HEHEHEHEHE Anon I am very happy that you asked about it ! Congratulations, you chose the wip that I am currently working on :D

Full disclosure, the idea for this wip was inspired by two one-shots that I obsessed over around the same time :

Hiding behind plaster and ceramics, by @occasionallyprosie

And there are ten, by @staring-at-a-blank-pagee

I'm a little bit terrified by tagging the authors since I haven't asked for permission to post work inspired by what they did yet, but I don't want to do anything in their back jnezjnejnez so :

Hi ! If you see that, you both have had wonderful ideas that inspired me to write something that is becoming a massive project of mine ! I am talking about it because I got asked about my wips, but if you're not okay with me posting the actual fic, I'd be fine keeping it to myself :)

In both these fics, Legend, Twilight and Wind know each other from the adventure they shared during Triforce heroes, except when they're brought together for Linked Universe, Twilight and Wind don't recognize Legend. He changed too much, he lost too many people and is now unrecognizable from the kid that he was during Triforce heroes.

In And there are ten, though, there's a twist : A tenth hero arrives, and... It's this younger version of Legend, that Wind and Twilight of course recognize this time !

Basically, this wip takes the scenario from And there are ten, but with the background story from Hiding behind Plaster and Ceramics : no one stayed in Legend's life and he is traumatized by partings, so he decides to be cold and rude with the others in order not to get attached and not suffer when they inevitably have to separate.

Except, after a few weeks of travelling, a new portal appear, and Apple, a younger version of himself, comes out of it... And obviously, this time, Twilight and Wind recognizes him, and everyone is protective of him since he's the youngest one here, and though Legend decided himself that he'd be mean on purpose so that no one cares about him, the comparison between how they act towards Apple and towards him makes him very bitter.

You can guess, with how I talked about liking to write about healing and stuff, that it's going to get worse before it gets better.

This was supposed to be a little something that I wrote for myself, just because I craved more for these ideas, and then I talked about it to @sweeteastart, and... They were so invested ? Like full-on asking me questions and if they could read it and stuff, and I just realized, yeah, it's starting to become a good story, I should try to flesh it out !

It's also the wip that inspired this beautiful art of hers :

Oh, and it's also their fault that this wip has this title lmao, they kept calling Legend sour, and mixed with Apple's nickname... You get it !

Anyway, it is my current brainrot, and I had to consciously stop myself from writing on this wip in order to finish A cave like a net first 🤣

[scarletwinterxx]

your beginning and middle and end - mark lee imagine

hello🥺 sooo this one is a bit longer than my usual posts. think of it as a valentine special. i loved writing this one, i hope you like it too🤍

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

FEBRUARY 09, 10AM

"That's the fourth date you declined, girl valentines is around the corner" Yun-jin tells you the moment the other guy walked away

"Genuine question, do I need a guy to celebrate it or do I even need to celebrate it?"

"If Valentines has a version of the grinch it would be you"

You laugh at her statement, reading over the small note that was given to you along with a single rose. It was cute, you appreciate the thought but you really didn't want to go out with the dude. You'd rather let them down now than pretend to have fun during a date.

"It's just not my thing" you tell her

"Then what's your thing? Tell me and I will personally look for him"

Looks like luck is on your side because you spot the big clock behind her, your next class about to start.

"Once I know, I'll tell you. I'm gonna be late. Bye" you gather your stuff and rushed out the hall, you can hear her protests making you laugh on your way out.

When you got to your next class, the other students are just arriving. A lot of vacant seats, you choose the one in the middle. You get your notes and laptop out to skim over your notes from the last session.

"Another one?" you hear someone say from behind you making you look up

"Yep, want to read it?" you chuckle, passing the rose over to Mark.

Mark Lee, the boy you sit next to class with. You see him enough around campus to get acquainted. He's friendly, known by many, a poet by heart. And he's also well aware of the failed confessions to you.

The first time you brought a flower to class he didn't say anything, the second time he thought it was from the same person but then the third time it happened right in front of him. He witnessed how you gently turned down the poor lad who was asking you out after handing you a rose.

Mark takes his usual seat beside you before reading the note

"You and Me, on v? huh like Valentines?" he laughs, holding the little card in his hand

"I'd give it a 4 out of 10"

"Ouch, so the lowest one then. I'd say my favorite is still the one about cats" he tells you, passing the rose back to you

Do you like cats? Because I’d like you to take meowt

You remember that one too. You thought it was cringey, but Mark smiled when he read it. You even let him keep the card.

"Do you still have it?" you ask "The card? Oh yea, I drew like little cats all over it. I'm sure it's somewhere in my bag"

"Why? Planning to use it on someone?"

"Yeah right, I think I'd have a bit more game than that" he jokes

"Ha, we'll see about that" you snorted. Missing the way Mark is looking at you with small grin on his face. Trying to be as inconspicuous as he could be.

The two of you might be on good terms but he wouldn't put it past you to reject him too. Since he got to know you, one thing he learned about you is that you're always so sure of yourself. To you, no is a full sentence. You like what you like and say no to what you don't. You're unapologetically you and he likes that.

He's not sure yet whether he likes you or likes you.

"Earth to Mark?" you wave your hand in front of his face, making him break out of his thoughts

"Lost you there, where'd you go" you joke

"Was just thinking about this paper I have due on Tuesday" he says, it's not a total lie. He does have a paper he needs to finish before Valentines day.

"Need help? I have a few works to catch up on too"

"You don't have plans?" he asks, it's like asking if you have a date on Valentines without asking if you have a date on Valentines day.

"Not really no, and if I'm being honest I heard this guy planning to ask about dinner and I'd rather not..."

"Am I... the getaway car?" You chuckle at his question

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but if I could avoid it I would. So library or the cafe near campus?"

He looks at you like he's weighing his options, playfully hitting him on the arm making the guy laugh "Cafe it is, I'll see you there?" he says

"It's a date" you grin at him

FEBRUARY 12, 11AM

"It's not"

"You said she said it was" Jungwoo says, looking at Mark who is currently trying to find something to wear. After that little moment with you, Mark made sure to clear up his schedule for that day. Ofcourse Jungwoo being the nosy bestfriend didn't let it pass without making Mark tell the whole story.

"Also if this wasn't a date, why are you freaking out about what to wear? You're just going to study, are you going to study her?"

Mark throws the hoodie at Jungwoo's face before looking through his closet again, "Maybe it was just a slip of tongue. It's Y/N, she rejects everyone who asks her out" Mark says while his head is buried deep in his closet

Jungwoo rolls his eyes at his bestfriend, Mark swears he doesn't like you like that and yet here he is. He only met you a couple of time, Mark introduced you before when he went to give Mark a book he forgot to bring.

"I can think of something else you want her tongue to slip in" he mumbles, "Shut up, don't talk about her like that" Mark stands up straight, looking at the other guy. Jungwoo holds his hands up, "Sorry"

Mark gives him another glare before getting a hoodie inside his closet, "Whatever, I'll just wear this. Should I bring an extra one just in case?"

"Just in case what? You spill something?" Jungwoo jokes

In case she gets cold, Mark thinks to himself.

"Just cause" Mark grumbles, walking back to his closet to get another hoodie then stuffing it inside his backpack.

"You're going to be late, go have fun at your not a date date"

About an hour after that, Mark is waiting for you at the cafe. He got there first and sent you a quick text. After a few minutes, the door chimed making Mark look up.

And that's when you walk in, a bouquet of blue tulips in your grasp. You look around, quickly spotting Mark. You make your way towards him, Mark stands up to pull the chair out for you. Saying a quick thank you then you set your stuff down.

"Sorry I'm late"

"Nah, I'm just early" he tells you, "You uh the guy caught you?" he jokes, pointing at flowers

"Oh these? No, I got them actually like I bought it this morning. Yun-jin forgot to buy milk so I had to go out this morning then I saw these. Here" then you're handing the flowers over to him

When you notice the confused look on his face, you giggle. This made Mark look more confused at what's happening, "What? No one ever gave you flowers?" you joke

"No, it's suppose to be the other way 'round?" he asks but accepts it nonetheless

You shrug, getting your stuff out

"I don't like flowers, main reason why I always say no to those dudes. I appreciate the effort, I do but it's not my style. But I remember you said these are your favorite during our class introductions, so I got them for you" you smile at him, he smiles back.

"Thanks, no like really thank you" he says, this made you chuckle finding the situation cute.

"Okay, back to business. I do have like three agendas to finish today" you tell him, gesturing at the small stack of papers on the table

"I'll buy you a chocolate cupcake if you finish it all" he offers, your face lighting up at the mention of the sweet treat. Mark also remembers something about you during that class intro.

Actually he remembers everything about you and that day. The professor asked everyone to say their name along with two random facts about themselves.

"Hi everyone my name is Y/N, I love chocolate cupcakes and I can recite the graduation speech from Twilight"

That earned a few laughs from the class, and from him. You really did leave an impression on him. As days, weeks and months passed by the two of you got acquainted.

If someone asks (mainly Jungwoo) Mark when was the exact moment he felt different about you, he can't pinpoint the exact moment. It just sort of happened for him. Maybe from all the small gestures you unknowingly do, or how it's easy to talk to you. You just get him.

"Can you make it two?" tilting your head to the side for effect, making Mark laugh and nod his head "You got it"

A few hours later, and a few cups of coffee the two of you finally finish. Mark actually finished his paper an hour ago but you weren't done with the last module you had to do,

"Are you done? Am I making you wait?" you ask, noticing he stopped doing anything and was just looking at you

"Huh? Oh uh yea, but don't worry about it. I can wait" he tells you with a smile

"You sure? I'm almost done"

"Don't rush it, I'll still buy you the cupcakes" he tells you, you shoot him a smile before going back to work. Meanwhile Mark goes to the front of the store to get you your cupcakes.

You didn't even notice he stood up, focusing on saving the file before sending the final file to your professor.

"And done! Mark?" you look up only to find the seat infront of you empty. You spot him over the counter, choosing to wait and tidy your things in the mean time.

"Hey, you done?" he asks when he got back to your table

"Mhm, finally. Sorry for taking up your whole afternoon"

"No worries, I finished my work too and I enjoyed your company. And as promised, here's your cupcakes" Mark then opens the box, he might as well presented you with a pot of gold with the way you're grinning from ear to ear. Your joy radiating, making him smile too.

"For me?" you asked, he nods his head

"These are the chocolate ones, I got two. The others are their best sellers, then this one I just thought you might like" he points at the cupcake with heart sprinkles on it.

You laugh, getting the box from him "Okay fine, I believe you. You definitely how to make a girl say yes"

He shakes his head, suddenly feeling shy "Believe me I'm not an expert when it comes to girls" he mumbles

"No, but you got this type of vibe about you you know" you tell him, getting one cupcake from the box

"What vibe?"

"You know like someone could've been in love with you for ten years without you knowing, a classic case of unrequited love but not in a mean way you just don't really know. It's the way you see the world, it's always nice, forgiving, full of chances. You see meaning even in little things. You got this boyish charm about you, the kind that girls would pick over their fictional boyfriends. You're better than any guy written by anyone" you tell him not noticing the way he's just staring at you

"I follow you on your socials, it's cute when you take pictures of the moon or the sky. Makes me remember to take a breath and be in the moment every once in a while"

He don't say anything, still processing what you said. He has never heard himself be described that way, atleast not to his face but he doubts anyone can be as eloquent as you.

"Can I ask you something?" he finally finds his voice, you nod at him

"Why do you say no to all the boys who ask you out? besides the cringey one liners and flowers"

You chuckle, "Because I know me. All of them would've just ended one way or another. I know what I want, what I like. I like a guy I can have an actual conversation with from philosophical point of views to something so random. Someone that makes it feel easy to talk and listen to"

"Do you know how hard it is to control my expression when I'm in public? Yun-jin said my face is too judgy" you jokingly add "I'm an open book if you know how to read it exactly, if that makes sense"

"No, I totally get it. You're not complicated or hard to get, they just don't know how to. You deserve more effort than that" he tells you

"See, that's what I'm talking about. If you keep on doing that I'm gonna be the one asking you out" you tease him, the guy across you laughing. Trying to hide his blushing cheeks and fluttering heart.

The two of you talked some more before he offered to walk you home. It's almost sunset when Mark got back to his place,

"And he's back, how was the date?" Jungwoo shouts from somewhere inside. Mark spots him lounging on the couch, taking a seat beside him with the bouquet of flowers on his lap

"You got rejected too?" Jungwoo asks and Mark just shakes head

"Did you forget to give it? Got too shy? I'm pretty sure you're suppose to give it to the girl not take it back home"

"I didn't get it, I mean I got it but I got it from her. She bought me these" Mark clarifies, taking the bouquet to look at it again,

Jungwoo looks back and forth between Mark and the flowers, "Let me get this straight, the girl whose notorious for turning down guys who gives her flowers gave you flowers on your not a date date?"

Mark just stares back at his bestfriend because honestly it doesn't make sense to him too.

"Homegirl got more game than you" Jungwoo says with a chuckle

"She said she remembered I said these were my favorite. I mentioned it once during freshmen orientation week and she remembered"

"Oh my god, he's in love" Jungwoo laughs

"And you know, I gave her cupcakes and she got so happy I actually thought about signing up for baking classes" Mark grumbles, setting the flowers on the coffee table before taking a thrown pillow to bury his face in.

Jungwoo watches his bestfriend realized what he's known for a while now. Mark likes you. He just never said it. It's Mark. He thinks everyone is nice, most time he overlooks the nice gestures of other girls to him thinking it's normal when in reality they were trying to get his attention.

"Oh. This must be serious then. You don't even know how to cook"

"Yeah I know! Like I know I like her, I didn't know I like her." it felt surreal finally admitting it out loud.

"So you do like her? like like her"

"I think?"

"It's a yes or no"

"No, I don't"

"You got him flowers"

Meanwhile back at your dorm, Yun-jin is also interrogating you. You just finished giving her a recap of your day, she was half listening half watching her show when you suddenly mentioned you got flowers for Mark

"Just because I got him flowers don't mean I like him, I just remembered it was his favorite" you shrug, trying to not make a big deal out of it.

"What's my favorite flower?" she asks, you blink back at her coming up with a blank answer

"See! Oh my gosh, my baby girl is growing up" she dramatically hugs you

"Was that weird? That I gave him flowers?"

"No, it's the 21st century. Guys can get flowers too"

"He got me cupcakes too" you mumble, looking at the box on the table.

Yun-jin watches you, smiling to herself. She's with you twenty four seven and she's never seen you like this. There are a few times she's seen you on campus with Mark, you always smile whenever he's around. Choosing not to push further, she gives the topic a rest and changing it to something else

"So what are you doing for valentines? because if you're free I know this dude who's free also-" "Actually Mark and I are hanging out again" you cut her off

"You're spending valentines with Mark?"

"Yea, so uhm actually I'm gonna call it a night. I have classes in the morning, we're meeting again around lunch. Night" then you're making a beeline towards your bedroom.

FEBRUARY 14, 10AM

Come Valentines day. Yun-jin thinks you're out with Mark while the boy is completely unaware he's being mentioned.

Choosing a place you know Yun-jin won't find you, you stayed at the farthest lounge area after class. Most students won't even walk all the way here since it's a long way going back and forth.

Finding a spot to sit on, you spot someone sitting alone on one the benches

"Mark?"

The boy looks up, immediately smiling when he sees it's you

"Hey, you. What are you doing here?" he asks, getting his stuff from the seat beside him to make room for you. Putting your stuff on the table before taking the seat beside him

"I just finished for the day, and currently hiding from Yun-jin"

He chuckles, "Why?"

"She's trying to set me up with a blind date so I pretended I had plans" leaving out the part he was mentioned

"You don't have plans?" he asks, giving himself a pat on the back for not sounding too nervous

You shake your head, "I have something to say though, I might have told her I had plans... with you"

Mark just looks at you, feeling shy under his gaze you look away.

"With me?"

"Yea, sorry. You don't have to stay though if you have plans don't worry about it. Go enjoy your valentines day" you told him a bit too energetic than you intended.

Then he smiles, Mark smiles at you like he's keeping a secret he can't wait to tell.

"What?"

"I don't have plans, I was going to ask if you had plans yesterday but I didn't want to overstep"

"What do you mean? You're just asking" you smile back at him, "Did you think I was going to say no like always? Oh my gosh I swear I'm not as heartless. I wasn't-"

"No no no, of course I didn't think that. I mean I don't think you're heartless" he pauses to collect his thought because right now words are flying out faster than he can think of them.

And if he got one chance at this, he'll make sure to do it right the first time.

Then you start speaking again, surprising Mark once again with your words

"Yun-jin said I smile a lot when I'm with you, now that I think about it I think I do. It's just you're easy to be with, and I feel relaxed like I can talk to you about anything and you listen. It's also so fun to listen to your stories, especially when you get this animated look on your face. And when you laugh before you can even say the joke. Am I rambling, sorry I'm rambling"

He takes your hand, holding it in his. Testing the waters to see how you'll react. When you don't pull away, he gets a card out from his notebook. Then he hands it over to you,

Today we are obliged to be romantic And think of yet another Valentine. We know the rules, and we are both pedantic. Today’s the day we have to be romantic. Our love is old and sure, not new and frantic. You know I’m yours, and I know you are mine. And saying that has made me feel romantic, My dearest love, my darling valentine.

You read the note carefully, a smile slowly forming on your face while Mark watches you. When the thinks you finish it, he speaks up

"I read that, and I thought about you. You're worth more than a one liner, more than a single flower. You deserve poems to be written about you, gardens to walk through with the prettiest flowers"

You playfully hit him, reading the card again before putting it in your bag for safe keeping

"I love it, thank you. Now I feel bad I got you nothing"

"It's okay, I didn't even know I was going to give it to you. I was ready to just hide it in my bag for the rest of time" he admits

"Why? It's so nice though"

"Yea but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable"

"I appreciate it really. Out of all the notes I received, I'll keep this one"

At that he smiles.

Like how the story began, with one liner notes and a single flower, who knew you'd find a friend and now something more. Mark is someone you didn't expect you'd have something romantic with especially since you're not really looking for it but it makes sense that you'd end up with him. He makes your days brighter, it's like he bring everything that is good into your world.

When you said he's the kind of guy who beats every fictional character, it's true because he gave you something better than a fairytale; a reality worth living in.

And yes spoiler, you do end up with him. The story ends with you and him. Spending all of your valentines together.

end.

[momtaku]

I saw the ask about No Regrets and it reminded me of this question I’ve tried to find an answer to for years but could never find. Sorry if the wording is weird, it’s hard to type out because asking and explaining my question is difficult

Did the author of No Regrets get permission to use characters from Isayama? Or was it just a fan made thing that wasn’t canon and just something created for fun?

What’s always been weird to me is it actually got ADAPTED. Like it wasn’t created by Isayama or even canon in the series yet, but Wit animated it. It was published in September 2013, animated in December 2014 and April 2015, and THEN chapter 69 came out in May.

Did Isayama even have a backstory for Levi? Did he see No Regrets and decide to give Levi a backstory and make it canon? I have no idea how far ahead Isayama even planned aot back then because I 1) had no idea of aot’s existence, and 2) wasn’t there when the manga was released back in 2013-2015.

For the new chapter we’re getting for Levi, do we know how many pages it’ll be? Will it have the same amount of pages as a normal chapter, or be shorter or longer?

Isayama authorized the No Regrets manga and visual story. You might find this post interesting as it contains an interview with Isayama and Hikaru Suruga (the No Regrets artist) as well as words by the author, Gun Snark (Gan Sunaaku). No Regrets was one of 6 visual novels/mangas that were release by various authors in the 2013-2015 times frame . All with Isayama's permission. There was a huge explosion of authorized material during those years, including the Smart Pass content, A Spoof on Titan, Attack on Titan Junior High, Before the Fall and so on. The list is really endless.

My opinion on the why of it all is that Isayama has talked about how he was convinced in those early years that each chapter would be his last. He was in constant fear of cancellation. He's also mentioned his long work days, the stress, and how little sleep he was getting. Writing and illustration 46 pages a month was a more-than-full-time job for Isayama and he was stretched entirely too thin. When the series exploded in popularity, there was a desire for more and tons of money to be made, but Isayama didn't have the time to produce anything beyond what he was doing. Thus the collaborations started. With No Regrets, Isayama provided guidelines as to what he envisioned for Levi's backstory. I can't find proof of that, but I do recall reading that he provided the general idea. It was a very limited scope, which is why he's able to produce Bad Boy now. He had a vision for Levi, but no time to develop it so he allowed No Regrets to cover a small period of time. I believe Bad Boy is only going to be 18 pages, but I'l very excited for it. I can't wait to see what Isayama can do when he isn't dealing with strict deadlines. Thanks for the ask! I hope this covered some of what you were interested in.

[tech-whale]

A Break in Routine

Pairing: Prince!Regulus x Guard!Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings:  Maybe a little angst, grouch Regulus, attempted murder??? 

Cross posted on AO3

Author notes: Definitely going to be a part 2 just need to write it this has been chilling for like  a year and I want to post it so surprise it's here, have fun, also just a little FYI reader comes in later the beginning is a lot of Regulus but reader shows up I promise, the next part will be all about them, sorry enjoy

I do not give permission to people republishing, printing, copying, reposting or stealing my stories

✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧☽☀☾✧

Regulus POV

Regulus' world had always been the same monotonous routine. It consisted of exquisite food, and boring repetitive lectures on economics, trade, and war tactics, with each of his teachers more boring than the last with their long-winded speeches that could put anyone to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Before all that, Regulus used to enjoy his days when he could sneak off from boring teachers and sit in the garden sketching and painting to his heart's desire. He missed when he got to go for a carefree ride on his horse and did not learn about the best way to ambush an enemy when in a mountain pass. But the thing that Regulus missed most of all was his older brother Sirius.

Three years ago Sirius had escaped into the night never to be seen again leaving Regulus the sole heir to their parents' kingdom. Regulus missed the days when he had no responsibility but h3 missed his brother more, Sirius was one of the only people that could bring colour into Regulus' bland world. The pranks the two would pull on unsuspecting castle staff, although the tricks were never too cruel the staff had enough to deal with when their parents were there. And as much as Regulus wanted to resent Sirius for leaving him all alone with their parent he just couldn't, he knew that Sirius needed to leave he just wished he could've gone with him.

Regulus believed he would be stuck in a repeating cycle of boredom for the rest of his life and he truly didn't believe that anything or anyone could change the outcome of his life. His parents would marry him off to some princess or the daughter of a lord for something political he wouldn't care to understand, and when he came of age he would be crowned king and his wife the queen. That was how Regulus thought his life would go with his whole future planned for him with no say in the matter. Regulus truly believed that until an assassination attempt on his life ended with a plot to uproot Black's house from the Kingdom's monarchy.

That day had been relatively typical for Regulus and when he said normal he meant utterly boring beyond belief, so if that morning you had told him that someone would try to kill him within the next twenty fours hours he would have laughed in your face and told you to have them do it right now. Although the more Regulus thinks back on that day and the events that had occurred which seemed completely coincidental at the time he begins to remember the sinking feeling of dread he had when he walked into his bed-chamber the collar of his shirt sticking to the back of his neck from the water droplets falling from his hair.

Regulus felt utterly comfortable in very few places within the castle, he hated the stares that curious staff would send the quiet heir of the Black family. Regulus often enjoyed leaving the suffocating walls of the palace and enjoying the well-kept gardens that surrounded it, even though his parents didn't particularly care for the botany aspect of the castle they still had people tend to it. Regulus didn't enjoy being inside the palace too much. It was too suffocating for his liking, but Regulus did feel comfortable in his room, the castle staff never came in when he was in there and the view of the gardens from his balcony always helped to inspire him for new pieces of artwork.

But that moment when he first stepped into his room something felt wrong as if somebody had come into his room and shifted all the furniture an inch from where it had been sitting, quickly scanning over the room Regulus went to the stone fireplace and picked up one of the heavier tools that had been sitting beside it. Holding the tool to his side Regulus began to do a thorough search of his room before he jolted back upright from a knock on the door.

Opening the door to a servant carrying a bundle of firewood, stepping out of the doorway the servant looked at Regulus curiously as he held the fire tool in his hand. Realizing what he was still holding he returned it to its place before excusing himself from the room and going into his balcony. The breeze lightly ruffled the fabric of Regulus' shirt from where it hung loose on his body, he pushed some of the lighter strands of hair behind his ear and out of his face as he walked over to the stone railing on the edge of the balcony.

Leaning against the railing Regulus waited till the fire had been lit properly and the servant had left his room. Making his way back into his bed-chamber the feeling of dread fell over him again. Regulus decided to shrug off the feeling as before when he searched for what was causing the feeling to find nothing. Slipping into his bed Regulus was instantly comforted by the weight of the blankets covering him, the silky water-like feel of the sheets that surrounded his body lulled him into a tired state, the crackling of the fire created a warm atmosphere, and the breeze that fluttered his curtains made the perfect sleeping conditions that very rarely came along.

Regulus could feel his eyelids starting to become heavy, much too heavy for him to be able to keep open, so instead of fighting it, Regulus succumbed to his need to sleep.

Regulus felt the cool breeze of the night tickle the back of his neck as he awoke, Regulus looked around his room as he waited for his eyes to adjust. Looking over to his balcony doors Regulus shot up from his previous position as he realized that the doors were open, he remembered that he had locked the balcony.

Pushing the covers off himself Regulus made his way to his balcony to lock the door, the feeling of a cold pointed tip pressed into the middle of Regulus' back.

"Don't move and your death could be quick." The intruder spoke, pushing the blade into Regulus' back. Panic flooded through his veins as he tried to figure out how to get out of this situation. Regulus was pulled away from the balcony and into the middle of the room, facing the fireplace in the center of the room Regulus looked upon the red embers of the dead fire and hoped that that would not be the last thing he saw. He wanted to see his brother again, feel the freedom he once had, fall in love and right then it felt as though all those things that Regulus longed for were going to be ripped away from him in some attempt on his life for something that was out of his power.

Loud footsteps were heard outside of Regulus’ door, and the pressure of the knife pressed against his back alleviated for a second as the assassin took some of their attention off of Regulus to monitor the door in those few seconds Regulus found bravery and a fire inside himself that he had never known before, lunging forward out of the grip of his attacker Regulus grabbed on of the heavy metal pokers from the face of the fireplace and swung around slamming it into the side of the assassins head, rushing away from the fireplace Regulus ripped open the door and ran out of his room.

Feet hitting the plush carpet underfoot Regulus pushed himself as much as he could as he searched the hallways for a guard there had to be one near him he had just heard footsteps, turning his head to the side Regulus crashed into something and collapsed into a heap on the floor at the impact of the hit. Looking up Regulus was met with the concerned face of a royal guard, pushing himself up Regulus started to explain what had happened quickly the guard yelled to the others behind him two of them followed him as they went in the direction of Regulus’ chamber three surrounded Regulus and ushered him down the hallway and one disappeared down the hallway to the guard station presumably to to get reinforcements to check on his room and to make sure the King and Queen were still alive. At that thought, Regulus decided it would be best to shut his mind off and follow the guards so that was what he did.

The next few days for Regulus seemed to all blur together, he went through his lessons barely listening to his tutors and mindlessly taking notes on what they said not to get lectured about paying attention, even though he had almost died days prior. Regulus was now forced into the throne room even more than he had been, as now investigators, royal guard, knights, and many others were coming to lend information on the assassin that had broken into his room, from what Regulus had heard the attacker was detained and locked away in one of the deepest parts of the dungeon, Regulus had been in that area once and he never wanted to have to see it again.

And now here he sat in the throne room once again reflecting on all that had happened to him to lead him up to this moment, it had been two weeks since the attempt on his life, and throughout those two weeks, he had been reminded that he should be grateful that it was an attempt and had not succeeded as if he had survived by some stroke of luck. Regulus was pulled out of his thoughts when the oak doors to the throne room were thrown open with a loud thud shaking the ground of the castle, earlier that evening the King and Queen had received word that new urgent information had been gained about the attack that could save the House of Black from utter inhalation at the hands of their enemies.

“Your Highnesses, we have found a source of information on the assassination attempt. It was not just a one-time thing, this was well planned out and has been in the works for years.” The man in front of the spoke, the final sentence he spoke with a much more serious tone Regulus could see his parents straighten up at it and the air around them became tenser. Nodding behind him, the guards opened the door, allowing two more guards to drag in a man. 

At first, Regulus could not recognize him, but the clothes he was wearing showed that he was of high standing within the kingdom. The top he wore looked like it was made of fine velvet, though the sleeves were caked in what looked to be dried mud, Regulus couldn't tell from where he was sitting, his pants although torn and bloodied looked to be of high quality, and the gold and jewels glinting off his fingers just confirmed Regulus’ suspicions of this man being of high standing within society, there would likely be an uproar from his arrest.

The man raised his head to meet the eyes of the royal family and Regulus reeled back in shock, from the expressions on his parents' faces he could tell that this was not what they were expecting. The man was someone Regulus recognized it was someone he knew, the man in front of them was a member of the royal court, one of the many lords that were meant to be in the throne room when decisions were being made and conflicts were being sorted out, this was a man Regulus had known since he was a young boy this man in question had found Regulus one day in the garden alone and wandering and offered him his ear. Though when that had happened Regulus had been six and this man in front of him couldn't have been any more than 15 at the time, oh how Regulus wished he could be a child again. Looking towards his parents he silently asked if he could be excused from this horrible turn of events, his parents luckily taking pity on him let him leave the grand room before they began their interrogation. 

The doors slammed shut behind Regulus but not even the thick oak of the doors could block out the shrill voice of his mother or the loud bellows of his father.

It had been a few days since that horrible afternoon and his parents had called him to discuss something with him. Entering his father's study he greeted his father with a respectful nod before he turned toward the other person in the room.

"Regulus this is (Insert Name), they will be watching over you to ensure there isn't another attempt on your life." His father spoke gesturing towards the other person in the room.

(Insert Name) was someone Regulus had seen before, they were a knight for the kingdom and had won many battles and had gained the respect of many in the kingdom. But not only was their reputation that of a knight their appearance was as well, they wore the usual chest plate of armour with the kingdom's emblem and arm guards, along with a green cape with silver accents. On their hip, they had their sword in a black sheath. They stood on guard and exuded the confidence all the other knights carried.

"I will protect his highness with my life sire." You respond to his father with a bow before turning to face Regulus and bowing to him. At that moment Regulus knew that the two of you would not get along.

The first few days of having you around were difficult for Regulus, he felt trapped, and you never left him alone. Even when he was going to sleep you would do a sweep of his room before he laid down, and you would come hourly to do another sweep of the room which had woken him up a couple of times. The overprotectiveness was annoying he couldn't deal with and his emotions were starting to boil over.

"You know you don't always have to wake me up to make sure I don't get killed, if your job is to look after me then you are doing a shit job," Regulus shouted after he was woken up for the second time that night.

"I'm sorry sir, but I need to make sure that you stay safe. It would be a deep regret if anything were to happen to you." You responded in a calm voice, this just angered him more.

"Ya because if anything were to happen to me, you would lose your oh-so-perfect reputation." Regulus lashed out at you, he hated this, he hated having a babysitter because of one incident he hated this, and all of this was bubbling up as anger and hatred towards you.

“Regulus, I understand that this arrangement is not ideal. But this is for your safety, I am only taking so many precautions so that you can stay safe. You can be angry at me all you want hell you can hate me, my job isn't to be loved by you it's to keep you safe, and I’m sorry that I have woken you up I will try to be quieter next time.” You spoke back to him just as calmly as you did before, leaving the room and leaving him in darkness with his thoughts. From that moment Regulus knew that maybe this wasn't just hard for him it was hard for you, you had to deal with his attitude and you were able to stay pretty calm, he knew that he was going to have to go easier on you or he might regret it.

From that day forward Regulus tried to be more patient, he engaged with you in more conversations and learned a great many things about you, one of those things being your love of horseback riding. So for today, Regulus decided that the two of you would enjoy the warm weather you were graced with and head out for a nice ride.

“It is unusual for you to ride your Highness, are you feeling quite alright?” You questioned once you had stopped to pause your ride.

“I happen to enjoy horseback riding very much, I just haven't had the time, or the clearance, to be able to go. But my schedule finally allowed it and I have you with me so what would stop me.” Regulus responded quickly, it came out much harsher than he intended and he internally cringed at the tone of voice he delivered his response in. but he lightened up on himself when he saw you smile at him.

“Nothing would stop you, your highness, you just look so at peace when you're out here, it's almost like your a different person.” You spoke out, moving your head down so that your hair shielded your face from his sight.

“We should continue on there are places I would like to go before I am needed back at the castle,” Regulus shouted out, breaking the calm mood that had formed between the two of you, galloping away he couldn't help the simile that stretched across his face as he heard you laugh from behind him.

“Of course your Highness I wouldn't want to make you late for your oh-so-important meeting with your mirror.” You quipped back at him, encouraging your horse to race ahead of him.

“Aren't you supposed to stay by my side and protect me,” Regulus shouted out from behind you.

“I would be able to if you could keep up.” You shouted back to him, turning around to look at the prince and send him an innocent smile as if you had never done anything out of protocol for a guard. But at that moment Regulus couldn't care less if you had breached protocol, you looked ethereal, with the way your face glowed from the sun hitting it through the trees highlighting all the beautiful colours hidden in your skin, to the creases by your eyes caused by a radiant smile, to Regulus at that moment you're a walking deity, a being born of starlight that was sent to earth to make it more beautiful.

You were so stunning tha-..... Regulus slowed his horse in an attempt not to fall off, he had just been hit in the face with a branch, or more accurately he had ridden into a branch because he was not focusing on anything but you. 

[stacycpr]

Important

So, I had this very disappointing matter.

As some of you guys know, I'm the creator of HugleTale (@hugletale-au). It's been created more than 2 years and also the first AU I worked on. Although, I didn't release much more of its story, unless if you have tried to read its fic version on Archive on Our Own and Wattpad.

Yesterday, that evening, (I don't open Discord much anymore other than to lurk around and chat a little or look a bit of my server.)

A member of my server, made an unauthorized revision my AU, HugleTale. Not only just the first chapter, but also the other ones, as I got the read their document file sent in my server. (Take a look at the screenshots at the cut below of this post).

So, what's the matter with this??

As an author/creator, it's really disrespectful and very offensive. It's not something anyone else can just do. NOT VERY TOLERABLE.

Revising someone's work especially without permission from the author, BUT STILL, even so, not all authors would like to revise their own work by somebody. It's ours, authors' responsible for this rather than anyone.

The EFFORTS, WORK, IDEAS, that were put into it can be just, idk, changed by somebody?

All just for no reason in particular because you had to do it?? You were lucky that I'm pathetic enough to cry rather to talk much farther about this. But, I won't let this slide by just forgetting it. It's not something I don't want to happen to others. This is beyond very inappropriate.

What makes it even worse, to assume that the revised version of my AU will be added to their book series. And to think that I won't even be bothered or even care about it??

What would you feel if this happens to you? Should I even feel welcomed for this??

HugleTale is very precious and special to me, my heart. I couldn't help myself to be very disappointed to this person.

As much that my friends tells me that there's more people that loves my AU, my works and the other things I do with drawing and creating...

Something like this, it proves that there's still need more improvement I must do. I'm still not good enough... Instead of being furious, I'm pretty much sad for real. Of course, I just cried like a weak I am.

I'm sorry to conclude it this way for my situation. Although, I still want all of you guys, especially to my other artists and writers that I'm friends/or not, to let you know.

If I'm not that pretty much focused with my schoolworks, I may have time to draw or even write to share with you guys, I've missed it. Anyways, that's all, I'm still very sad about this.

To the one who did this, I know your Tumblr account, but I won't even bother to mention you, rather you read this and hope you learn something. I'm still bit kind enough not to be mad at you, but pretty much you added more disappointment with myself as a creator and as a person.

I took a copy of their revised version of my AU. (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fvgbxFU_WMQjvujQjHKWSNcja2AmPefS0q2PFOQV5Ys/edit?usp=sharing) While here's the original version of my AU. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524027/chapters/69895557)

[gazs-blue-hat]

Potent Poisons and Precious Passions

Loosely based off of this post. It's not where I intended this story to go but I'm pleased with how it came out. I also never written smut before so please give me feedback on that! If this is terrible I’m sorry lol.

Simon "Ghost" Riley x F! Reader

Fluff, Slight Angst, Fluff, Smut (In that order)

Word Count: 7,869

Summary: You and Ghost are pretending to be married for a mission. Little do you know, your one-sided crush on the large man wasn't as one-sided as you thought.

Minors DNI 18+ content (There's a second cut to warn you where it starts)

TW- Jealousy, Poison, Canon typical violence and language, Creepy Guy behavior (Not done by Simon), Choking, Drug Use, Biting, Spitting

NSFW TW- aggressive kissing, semi-protected P i V sex (Wrap it before you tap it please). Soft Mdom Simon. Praises. Consent checks (very important) Aftercare (also very important). Oral F receiving

Terms used- Sweet Thing, Darling, Love, Sweetheart

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO ANYBODY HERE OR ON ANOTHER SITE TO REPOST, COPY, TRANSLATE OR FEED MY WORK TO AN A.I OF ANY KIND.

Eight weeks, it had been eight weeks since you and Simon were sent out on this stupid mission. You had no connection to your team and no way out until the mission was completed. Your tasks were to infiltrate the local arms trade network and make contact with the leader. Once you and Simon got all friendly with him, you were to take him out.

While the team preferred him to be alive, they had given you execute authority. You and Simon had agreed to do your best to keep him alive. That is where your expertise in poisons came in. You had created a lip tint that carried a strong tranquilizer. All you had to do was get the arms dealer to either drink out of the same cup as you or something similar. Of course, Simon hadn't had any problems with this plan at first.

As you two were walking into the extravagant banquet hall, his arm around your waist and a shiny golden ring on his left ring finger, he was having doubts.

He knew you were capable, he knew you had the ability to complete this mission and he was only here for backup, but the lingering feeling of worry started to worm through his defenses. He had known you for years and he still hadn't mustered up enough courage to confess how he really felt about you.

Sure there had been lingering looks and touches passed between you two. Sure you had shared a bed once or twice but nothing ever came of it. As far as he was concerned, you had no interest in him besides friendship.

He unconsciously gripped your waist harder and you looked up at him. Your makeup was spectacular and it really made your eyes pop. The beautiful eyes he dreamed of every night. "What is it?" You ask in a soft voice, your head turned in that cute way he loves so much. He shakes his head and examines his surroundings, making a mental count of the exits and entrances. "Nothing love, nothing at all." He mumbles as you two meet the guard at the front door who was checking tickets. It had been no small feat but you and Simon were invited to the gala after pulling some very particular strings in the criminal underground.

You hadn't always been the sweet girl you are now. You used to work with some of the most deadly minds in the world. You created poisons and gasses that rivaled even the most toxic ones already known. You were a master of your craft and once your previous operation went off the rails, Captain Price was quick to snatch you up.

You nodded and looked around the room yourself. Simon was supposed to watch your back as you got closer to the target. He had taken a shining to you quickly and had offered you a private audience with him, providing you the perfect opportunity to take him down. You didn't quite see your host yet and you looked up at Simon.

You two met with the doorman and handed him your tickets. "Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Ripley, so lovely you could make it." He said while taking your tickets and writing in his ledger. You smiled and gave a slight head nod as a greeting. Simon did the same and pulled you eve closer. He couldn't help but feel the rush of butterflies fill him at your proximity. He was instantly brought back to this afternoon while you were getting ready for this gala.

"Darling, which color should I go for? The red or the black?" You had asked as you held up both dresses. You had no way of knowing if this hotel room had been bugged or not so you had to keep up appearances even when nobody else was around. It actually wasn't all that hard to do. You were just calling Simon things you had always wanted him to call you.

"Hmmm...I think the red goes better with the makeup you wanted to wear for tonight. Wear that one." He had called from the bathroom as he was fixing his hair. He never really had to think about how to style his hair before. He always wore the mask while on duty and had nobody to impress when he wasn't. He sighed as he tried to get his hair to lay how he wanted it to.

You gently knocked on the door to announce you were coming in. Simon was wearing half of his tux while he was struggling with his blond hair. He glanced at your reflection in the mirror and he almost choked on his own spit. You looked absolutely stunning in your dark red dress. He blinked a few moments to gather himself before going back to messing with his hair. You stood next to him at the large countertop, putting in earrings that matched your dress.

"Struggling a bit there?" You asked softly. There was no judgement in your voice, there never was. He knew you were genuinely asking if he needed help. That's another thing he loved about you—your genuineness. You had never once lied to him or anybody on the team. You had been completely open with your opinions and your words. If you asked a question, you meant it. You were never sarcastic unless it was very clear.

Simon sighed and nodded. "Can't get the ends to stay flat. They keep pokin' up at the top." He said with a frown. You nodded and gestured for him to sit on the edge of the bathtub so you could reach his head. He felt his heart speed up as he felt your hands on his shoulders.

"Hand me the pomade there and I'll see what I can do." You said softly while grabbing a comb from the counter. Simon did as you asked and grabbed the small tin off the counter. You stood behind him and gently ran your fingers through his hair. It took everything inside of him not to moan at the contact. How long had it been since someone caressed him like this? How long has it been since he's felt a gentle touch?

Too long

You gently combed his hair and removed all of the knots he hadn't been able to get out. His hair was shocking soft and kind of wavy. He would never admit it, but the weeks of using your hair products were doing wonders for his hair. It was also doing great things for his skin. "You've been taking my advice I see." You mumbled as you focused on parting his hair in a way that would be flattering. He hummed in the affirmative as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back when you prompted him to do so. Your hands were gentle as you ran your hands through his hair with the pomade, making it stick down in a good and flattering way.

Simon almost whined when you removed your hands from his head, wiping them on a cloth to get rid of the excess pomade. You looked at him and a bright smile lit your face. "You look lovely darling. Absolutely stunning." You praise while pressing a delicate kiss to his cheek. He simply smiled and nodded, standing up to his full height. You went back to the counter and removed a sealed lipstick tube from it's airtight container.

Simon and you expertly navigated the gala room before finding the place you were supposed to sit during dinner. This gala was not only a display of wealth and power, it was also an underground auction for weapons and various tools for terrorists and warlords alike.

"That's the new color you're wearing right?" He asked softly, leaning over to whisper in your ear. You looked up at him and nodded. The color was perfect on your skin, formulated to be the most flattering it could be.

"It is. I was luck enough that I got the version that won't stain." You replied. That meant that it had no chance of hurting you. You had always been careful with the poisons you created and made sure you always had an antidote handy. If there was no antidote, then you had slowly worked on gaining a resistance to it. This is one that you had built up immunity to during the weeks of the mission.

Simon nodded and sat up straighter in his seat. He didn't like where the host had seated the two of you. It was in the middle of the room near no exits or easy hiding spots. As if you could sense his nerves, you placed a gentle hand on top of his. Simon unclenched his hands and relaxed a bit, knowing you were safe and nearby.

He remembered those weeks of you being dead tired every night after dosing yourself with your own poisons. You were lethargic and rather out of it for the first few weeks. There had been many a night when you had woken up shaking from pain and confusion as the drugs worked through your system. By week five you had gained enough of a tolerance to wear the poison on your lips without suffering from any of the effects.

As the dinner continued, you and Simon watched the people coming and going from the gala. Your necklace had a small camera in it that was recording the faces of everybody who was in attendance tonight. Those people would be looked into by the CIA and other organizations.

You gently nudged Simon's leg with your foot from under the table. Your mark had arrived. He stood on a large stage that held a handful of musicians playing soft music. He was wearing a disgustingly bright suit that didn't match him at all. A large rose pinned on his chest leaked an artificial scent into the air.

He tapped the microphone he was handed to get everybody's attention.

"Welcome! Dear friends and acquaintances, I am happy to see you all here at the annual Perchet gala. It is nice to see some new faces among the familiar ones." He said while gesturing his hand to you and Simon. You politely smiled and blushed while he took a "sip" of the champagne that was on the table. Of course, neither of you would be partaking in any of the refreshments, just to be safe.

"The main event will take place in thirty minutes, followed by dancing and general mingling. For now, enjoy dinner!" He said while snapping his fingers. A slurry of chefs carried large platters of food on their splayed fingers for the guests to eat and enjoy. You and Simon politely took a few of them. "I can't say I know what these are." You mumbled as you looked at the curious dish before you. It looked like someone had split a large seed down the middle and filled it with a strange orange goop. "Sea Urchins...rare ones too. Prechet really wants to impress." Simon replied while examining the dish. You nodded and looked down at the sea creatures.

"Sad. They're not endangered are they?" You asked, looking up at him. He shrugged. While he did know a lot of things, marine life wasn't one of them

" 'Dunno. I only know that these are sea urchins because of the spines here. Stepped on one of these buggers once. Was not an experience I'd like to repeat." He whispered. He sensed a presence behind him and he glanced out of his peripheral. Prechet himself was walking his way over to you two, a smug smile on his face.

"Ah! Mr. Ripley, so lovely to see you here." Prechet said while Simon stood to shake the man's hand. He noticed that the Frenchman didn't remove his eyes from your figure once. "And your lovey wife. How nice to see you my dear." He said while bowing slightly and taking your hand to place a kiss upon. Simon mentally cursed himself for not reminding you to put the poison on your hand as well.

"Thank you for having us Mr. Prechet. We were delighted to have been invited! I'm quite excited to see what you have planned for your main event." You say with false honey dripping from your lips. The sleezy man nodded eagerly, still holding your hand. "Thank you my dear, thank you. I do hope you find something that interests you. I'd hate for this night to be a waste." He said with a certain glint in his eye. Simon felt all of the warning bells go off in his head. This man was planning something...something dangerous and you were going to be part of it.

"I doubt you could ever disappoint Mr. Prechet." You say with a soft blush on your face. He watched as you subtly tried to remove your hand from the Frenchman's grip but failed to do so. "You flatter me madame. Please, enjoy yourself tonight. I'll save you a dance perhaps?" He said while pressing a number of kisses on your hand. Simon saw your jaw clench as you pressed your teeth together. "Of course sir. Of course." You reply as he releases your hand. Simon doesn't miss the way you place it behind you back and start rubbing it with a swab. He had to repress a smile. You were so clever, collecting his DNA like that. it was freely given and would be admissible in court if it came down to it.

Prechet only nodded to Simon as he left to mingle with other guests. Simon tried his best to quench the roaring inferno that raged in his chest.

Jealousy

Why was he jealous of Prechet? He had absolutely no reason to be. Perhaps it was because he longed to press his own lips against your skin like the frenchman had. Or perhaps it was because he saw you as more than a co-worker and even more than a friend. The Jealousy he held in his heart continued to burn even as Prechet walked away. "Whew. I wish I had done a swatch on my hand, just to be sure this color was right." You mumble while stuffing the swab back in it's container in your purse. Simon didn't say anything, only watching as Prechet continued to make his rounds through the gala. "Darling, are you feeling alright?" You asked while you placed a delicate hand on his wrist. He shook himself from his stupor and nodded. "Yeah. I'm alright. Just waiting for the main event." He sighed as he sat back down. He still watched Prechet wander around the room until it was time for the aforementioned "main event"

"Now, when the gala is in full swing, Prechet will start an auction. At this auction there will be a small flashdrive. I need you two to collect said flashdrive." Laswell said at the brief they had attended 8 weeks ago. Simon nodded and looked over to you, watching your curious eyes flick through the information in the folder before you. "What's on it?" He asked. Laswell sighed. General Shepherd sat up straighter in his seat and looked over the both of you, a deep frown on his face. "Classified. All you need to know is that it is very important that you retrieve it AND Prechet. We would prefer Prechet alive but if you have no choice...you do have execute authority." He said while folding his arms. You nodded and closed the folder. "And we have to pretend to be married because..." You asked, leaving the question open. Shepherd chuckled while Laswell sighed.

"Here's the deal. YOu two will be thoroughly check by his own analysts and hackers. While we were able to come up with new identities for you, it would be easier if there was a paper trail to follow." She explained. Simon looked over at you, sharing a look. You had always known how to communicate with him without saying anything.

"A paper trail...you mean to tell me," He was cut off by you who nodded.

"That makes sense. The more of it that is real, the more believable the rest is. I understand that." You said with a kind smile on your face. Simon missed the redness that had started to creep up your neck.

"See Laswell, I told you she would understand." Shepherd said with a smirk. Laswell once again sighed and looked over to Simon.

"There won't be any record of it after this mission is done, that I can promise you." Laswell reassured. Simon started to chew on his lower lip, a nervous habit he thought he had long since broken.

"I understand. As long as she is okay with it, I'm okay with it." He said with a sigh. That had been 9 weeks ago. He and you had signed the papers in a dingy safehouse miles away from any church building.

"Not how I pictured my wedding." You said with a snicker. Simon chuckled as he signed the paper as well. He also hadn't imagined his wedding to be like this. There was only one thing present that he would have had at both.

You

After 30 or so minutes passed by, the auction started. A few pieces of information came and went without incident. A few missile codes here, a couple of arms shipments there. Even a Soviet era tank was up for bids. At the end of it all, the flashdrive was the last thing to be purchased seeing as it was the biggest thing to sell. Prechet held the small device in his hand and showed it off to the tables at the front. "This here, ladies and gentlemen. Is a complete list of names, aliases, locations and other information about a private military task force." he said with exaggerated tones. He sure was trying to make this look interesting. You glanced up at Simon, sharing a concerned look. Was it your task force that he was referring to? The 141?

"I know! I know ladies and gentlemen. Some way or another this group has harmed all of your businesses and what better way to get payback than hitting them where it hurts?" He scowled. The room rumbled with peoples voices agreeing with this statement.

"Alright, I'll start the bid at 500,000 Euros." he said while handing the flashdrive off to the auctioneer. You and Simon had been given no real money to complete this auction, but money didn't change hands until later when you would hopefully have Prechet in custody.

You and Simon shared a look and made various gestures with your facial expressions. You two decided that he would go after the flashdrive while you went after Prechet. Of course you two made a few bids on other items but never outright won any.

The flashdrive was quickly bought up by a large man who was wearing sunglasses and a black hat. Simon mentally marked this man as well as the auctioneer. As the auction was taking place, the tables and chairs had been moved to clear a space in the middle of the room to act as a dancefloor.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you so much for coming to my humble celebration. Please, dance, drink! Enjoy the rest of your evening." He said while gesturing for the musicians to begin playing music. You patted Simon's hand and headed to the dance floor while he stood and made his way over to the service door. ----------

You wandered through the bodies of mingling party guests as you tried to make your way to where you saw Prechet heading. Your wrist was caught by a rather large gentleman wearing a clear earpiece. "Mister Prechet has requested you in the lounge." He grumbled, extending his arm for you to take. You nodded and looped your arm with his, making your way up to the lounge.

The guard escorted you through various hallways until you reached a wide set of double doors. He released your arm and knocked on the door. Once opened, you could see a large room decorated with plush furniture and various animal pelts. A large glass window was at one side that allowed you to see the ballroom below. "Ah, Mrs. Ripley. So glad you could be here." Prechet said from a seat in the middle of the room. The couch was facing away from the door and towards the ballroom floor. The greasy man turned his head and gestured for you to enter the room. As you did so, the doors closed behind you and you heard a subtle 'click' from a locking mechanism.

This wasn't going to end well.

As you sat on the opposite end of the couch, Prechet scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You couldn't help but stiffen as you felt his alcohol reddled breath hitting your cheek. "Now how did a lovely woman like yourself find your way to that Mr. Ripley?" he asked, his voice low and scratchy. You felt his hand pull you closer as you turned away from him slightly. You could see a faint white powder under his nose and you frowned. He had been doing drugs. While you had a general idea what would happen if your poison interacted with drugs, you had no idea how this particular substance would interact with the substance he had taken.

"It's a cute story actually...he and I.." You were cut off when you felt his lips trace along your neck. His hand gripped your upper arm and as your tried to pull away, his hand gripped the back of your neck. "None of that now. You're my guest and shall behave accordingly." He scolded. You felt him reach a hand over and start running over your thigh, reaching higher and higher.

--------

While you were searching for Prechet, Simon was already deep within the belly of this mansion. he had replaced his tie with one of the guards so he would blend in better. He had made his way passed the surveillance room to where he knew the flashdrive would be. He expertly wove his way through the guards, acting like he belonged. The Auctioneer would be in the vault with all of the items. If he managed to make it back there, then the plan was ruined. Lucky for Simon, the auctioneer had a slight limp and didn't walk as fast. He watched the Auctioneer pass by him in the narrow corridor and it was a simple matter to pick the man's pocket as he walked by. With the flashdrive in hand, Simon made his way back by the surveillance room but paused when he heard muffled laughter. "Look how uncomfortable she is. Man..Prechet knows how to pick them." One voice said

"Yeah. Did you see her husband though? Tallest guy I've ever seen. He's got all of these marks on his face. Scary guy." Another replied. Simon stuck his head in the room and stropped breathing when he saw it.

You, pushed against a couch while Prechet kissed your neck. His hands pinned your arms above your head and you clearly were not enjoying these ministrations. Simon clenched his fists and began the fastest walk in his life. He had to act naturally, but that was becoming increasingly difficult as he made his way to the lounge area. ------

Prechet was kissing up and down your neck when you heard a knocking at the door. "Mister Prechet, we have a situation." The guard outside the door said through the wood. Prechet growled and released your neck from between his lips. "I'm busy! Handle it yourself." He shouted. He looked down at you, a sick look in his eyes. "I don't want to be disturbed . My attention is all on you Mrs. Ripley, or should I say...Mrs.Riley." He hissed. His grip on your arms became more aggressive and you could tell they would be bruised in the morning.

"Didn't think I would figure it out? We got lucky and someone was able to figure out who you two were. It wasn't easy but we got there eventually." he hissed. One of his hands went to your throat while his knees shifted to pin your arms down. You struggled as much as you could but he was incredibly strong. "You and your team will never get that drive. I have men waiting to take down your husband as we speak. I did find it off that they allowed two members of the same team to be married but I digress." He continued. His hands pressed down on your throat and it was getting harder to breathe. Black spots started to dance in your vision but you willed them away. You could handle this guy, you had to handle this guy. Pursing your lips together, you licked the poisoned lipstick off your lips and spat it in his face as hard as you could. The saliva that spattered on his face was a bright color that quickly seeped into his skin.

"You bitch. That's no way to treat your host." he growled as he shifted both hands to your throat.

-------

Simon made his way up to the lounge area with little incident. There were two guards outside the doors and if he had been in a better headspace, he probably could have taken them down silently or even lured them away.

Unfortunately for them, the jealousy that had been ignited in his chest had shifted into a raging inferno of protective rage. you had been his partner for the longest time. You knew him before Roba and even stuck by him after all of that. You were his closest friend and he would die before he let anything happen to you.

He came up the stairs and before he could make it to the two men, they alerted Prechet to their situation. He trusted that you could hold your own for a little while longer as he took down the two guards.

Both of the guards came at him but they clearly had little training against men bigger than themselves. Simon was able to quickly sweep them off of their feet and snap their necks with brutal efficiency. There was a crash behind the door and a muffled shouting sound. Simon examined the guards, looking for a key but he wasn't able to find one.

he was able to find a pistol though and he shot the locking mechanism on the door. He pushed through with his shoulder and the door gave way with a loud cracking sound.

The sight before him was horrific. You were kneeling on top of Prechet, blood dripping from your mouth as Prechet reached for his throat. You had bitten him, your teeth taking a chunk out of his neck You stood, using a handkerchief to wipe blood off of your mouth. "Who's the bitch now?" You hissed while rubbing the bruises along your neck where his hands had been. You looked over to Simon, your breathing calming but your eyes still wild and bloodshot. Simon looked down at Prechet who was slowly losing consciousness.

"I didn't bite him anywhere fatal. He'll live." You mumble as you go to spit more blood out into the sink in the room. Simon looked down at Prechet and nodded. he picked the unconscious man up and pressed a button on his watch. The signal sent would inform Laswell to send a car to pick up Prechet while you and Simon headed back to base. The mission was over.

--------

The ride back to base was silent as you two sat in the back of a car. Simon knew you were more touchy than he was, so he wasn't chocked that you opted to sit right next to him. You had your head pressed to his shoulder as you cleaned your face and neck with a wipe.

He never struggled to be physical with you, before and even after his time in Mexico. He cherished your touch and found himself relaxing under the pressure of your head on his shoulder. His left hand held yours as his other arm was wrapped over your shoulders, holding you close to his side. He glanced down at the rings on your fingers and he remembered when he had placed them there. It was still in that dingy safehouse but the rings looked dull in contrast you your eyes. The gold band on his own hand glinted in the light as he squeezed your hand. Reassuring you that he was there for you, that he understood.

Once back on base, and after you had cleaned up a bit, you debriefed with the General and Laswell who congratulated you on retrieving the flashdrive.

"Well done, both of you. Now, the paperwork for your marriage will be disposed of soon." Laswell said while she extended her hand out to receive the rings. You and Simon glanced to one another and then back down at your hands. Reluctantly, he pulled off the golden band around his finger, instantly missing the weight and warmth of it. You took a bit longer to remove the bands around your fingers but they were soon resting in Laswells hand next to Simon's.

As they exited the briefing room, Simon saw you rubbing your hand where the rings had been. You had developed a habit of spinning them around when you were nervous or thinking. "Look I,"

"Listen,"

You both started your sentences at the same time. You snickered and made a gesture for him to go first. "Please, after you."

"I was just going to say, if you want to talk about...what happened in there. My door is open for you. Fuck, if anybody knows what that's like it's me." He said softly. You nodded but did not meet his eyes. "I was just going to say thank you for coming to help. I did not want to wander that party while covered in blood. Especially blood that isn't mine." You whisper. Simon could tell you were holding something back, but he didn't want to pry. He knew that you will tell him when you were ready.

He nodded and shuffled closer to you, extending his arms out slightly. You smiled and hugged him, holding him tightly. His hand came up to rest on your upper back, counting your heartbeats. They were fast and erratic and he couldn't help but worry for you.

After the hug, you turned and headed back to your room, not seeing Simon stand in the hall to watch you go.

------

Simon was still awake in his room when he heard the gentle knock on his door. There was only one person on this entire base who would seek him out in the middle of the night like this. After putting a simple black surgical mask on his face, he opened the door and saw you standing there. Your fancy dress had been replaced with a loose sleep shirt (That he recognized as one of his) and some shorts. He could see faint bruises along your shoulders and legs as well as deep purple marks on your neck where Prechet had tried to strangle you.

"I didn't wake you up did I?" You asked softly. He shook his head and stepped aside so you could come in. he closed the door behind you and removed his mask so you could see his face. You had always been able to see what was under the mask, so there had been no point to hide his real face from you. Besides, he was comfortable with you and trusted you more than anybody else. He watched as you made your way over to the bed where you lay down, facing the wall. He smiled softly to himself and climbed in after you, listening to the bed springs creak slightly at the additional weight.

"If you spend eight weeks sleeping next to a person, it becomes hard to sleep on your own again." You whispered. He nodded and slowly placed his arms around you. You hummed softly and curled into his embrace. He could tell you had been crying but he wasn't going to mention it. He knew you just needed some attention right now. "I understand. You always have a place here, you know that." he mumbled while resting his chin on the top of your head. You nodded and took a deep, shuttering breath. "Simon, can I tell you something?" You asked after a few minutes. He nodded and looked down at you, paying attention to your facial expressions. "Anything." He whispered in reply. He felt you take a deep breath and hold it for a while before exhaling slowly. "The weeks I spent being your wife...were the happiest weeks I have had in a long time." You say as you exhale the held breath. Simon felt his heart speed up as you said those words. Was it possible that you had feelings for him too?

He only hummed in the affirmative to let you know that he heard you and was waiting for you to continue speaking.

"I mean...you felt it too, right?" You asked while looking up at him. He could see unshed tears glistening in your eyes and he moved one of his hands to cup your cheek. "Not gonna lie, but...I feel the same. Longest time I've gone since a nightmare." he said while wiping a fallen tear with his thumb. "I would...I would like to try and be yours. For real this time." You whisper as you rest your head against his broad chest. Simon felt a smile splitting his face. "I would like that too."

------------------------NSFW starts under here.-------------------------- You look up at Simon and could see the love in his eyes.

"You...you would like that too?" You whisper, feeling his heartbeat racing under your fingertips. He nodded and only held you closer. "You know...we're technically still married. And there are no rules against married couples doing this on base..." You whisper as you press your lips against his for the first time. His lips were chapped and scared but you didn't mind it. They belonged to him and for that reason, they were perfect.

Simon sighed deeply out of his nose as his hands went to your waist, squeezing ever so softly as to not hurt you. You deepened the kiss, opening your mouth and slipping your tongue into his mouth.

“Fuck you taste good.” He groaned once you two separated, a line of saliva still connecting you two. You both breathe heavily for a few seconds before Simon gently shifts so you lay under him. His hands gently caressed your waist and he looked deep into your eyes.

“May I…touch you?” He asked softly. You nodded, pulling your shirt up a bit so he could touch your bare skin.

Simon groaned at the sight of you as he placed his large hands on your smooth skin. Sure you had some scars here and there but he still believed you to be perfect.

Simon lowered his head and began to place kisses on your neck and collarbones. You clenched your thighs together, hoping for some kind of stimulation.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you wearing my shirt sweet thing.” He mumbled as he pressed a very soft kiss to your neck. He was being extremely careful if the bruises you had.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you spent longer in the shower while we were undercover.” He continued as he shifted his hands to be under your shirt. He made eye contact with you and you nodded, giving him permission.

He quickly removed your shirt and the sight before him made his hardened cock to twitch.

“Cheeky girl. Not wearing a bra and knowing you’d come see a man.” He growls. He takes his own shirt off and he feels your hips start to shift under him.

“Ah, am I neglecting where you want me the most?” He asked, pressing kisses down your abdomen. You whined and nodded.

“Yes…yes Si, I need you. Please. I’ve thought about it for so damn long.” You whine as you wiggle your hips under him. You can feel how hard he is and you wonder briefly if it would be a problem taking it all.

As if he could read your mind, his gaze softened slightly and he placed a gentle hand on your cheek.

“Don’t worry love. I’ll make sure you’re good and prepped for me, yeah?” He reassured. You nodded and ground your hips into his. His eyes fluttered and a deep groan rumbled in his chest.

He continued to kiss down your torso until he was met with the waistband of your shorts.

“Want me to take these off?” He asked, pressing a deep kiss to your inner thigh. Your keening moan was more than enough for him as he slipped your shorts off your body.

Simon thought his heart was going to explode when he saw you completely bare before him.

“Fuck me, I’ve dreamed of this for so damn long…” he mumbled while gently pressing his forehead against your thighs.

He could see that you were absolutely dripping for him. He took his smallest finger and gathered up some of your slick. He examined the clear material before putting his finger in his mouth to clean it.

“Oh…fuck, you taste divine love.” He moaned as he rid himself of his suffocating pants. The tent in his boxers was begging to be dealt with but Simon had other plans.

“Let me taste you love. Let me taste your pleasure.” He said these words as if praying to a God. You moaned loudly and Simon could see a precious drop of your arousal slip between your lips down to the sheets under you. He smiled and placed his large hands on your inner thighs, caressing the skin with rough fingertips. "So pretty for me love. Such a sweet little thing." He mumbled as he pressed gentle kisses from your knee to your inner thigh. He looked up at you for permission and you nodded quickly, gripping the sheets so you wouldn't pull his hair. "None of that love, you show me how I make you feel. Be as loud as you want. Grasp at me and *show* me how good I'm treating you." He said softly. You nodded and gently placed your hands on the back of his head, once again running your hands though the thick blond locks.

He growled under his breath as he firmly planted his lips over your center. Simon almost believed he had died and gone to some kind of heaven when he tasted you. He ran his tongue up your folds, gathering all of the juices that leaked from you. "Oh God, Simon!" You whispered as you clutched at him. He smiled against you and shifted his mouth's attention to your puffy clit. His sucked against the swollen bud and gently used one of his fingers to circle your weeping entrance. He cherished all of the sounds you made and he even enjoyed how you were pushing and pulling at his head. It was like you couldn't tell if you wanted his face closer or you wanted it away.

"Love the sounds you're making sweet thing. So pretty, just for me." He mumbled as he began to stroke your insides with his one finger. He was searching for that sensitive spot in the back of you, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the keening moan that launched out of your mouth when he found it.

"Right there! Please don't stop. Please, please don't stop." You begged. He pressed another finger inside of you and you almost screamed at the stretch. He knew how to prepare you so you could take him without issue. He continued to circle his tongue around your clit and pump his fingers inside of you. "Taking my fingers so well love. Doing so well for me." He praised as he felt your walls clenching around him. "Gonna...gonna cum..Simon.." You mumbled, tugging at his hair. He hummed into you, sending vibrations through you.

"Cum for me sweetheart. Make a mess on my fingers. Make a mess on my face." He encouraged as he continued to pleasure you. He felt you clamp around his fingers like a vice as liquid pleasure surged around his hand. He moaned softy as you relaxed around him and he was able to remove his fingers from your entrance. "Beautiful love. Absolutely beautiful." He whispered as he licked his fingers clean. Your face was covered in a thin layer of sweat as your breaths came in sharp gasps as you came down from your high. Simon shifted so he was able to embrace you, holding you close to his chest.

"That's it love...breathe. I've got you." he reassured as he ran gentle fingers through your hair. Your eyes were misty and unfocused with pleasure. He pressed a gentle kiss on the crown of your head, waiting for you to come back to him. "I don't think I've ever cum that hard...good God Simon.." You mumbled as you turned to look up at him. He smiled and bent low to kiss your lips. You shivered as you tasted yourself on his lips. Simon couldn't help but grind into your hips, revealing to you exactly how aroused he was. "Are you comfortable taking the next step love? We can stop here and just go to sleep." He said once the kiss broke, saliva stringing between your parted lips. You eagerly nodded and pulled him into another bruising kiss. He grunted and moved so he was hovering over you, your head pinned between his forearms. "So pretty like this love, so pretty. God I love your sounds." he whispered as you placed your hands around his broad shoulders. He pumped his weeping cock in his hand and gently pressed the tip against your entrance. "At any moment you want me to stop, I will. I'll go slow, I promise." He reassured as he looked into your eyes. You took a deep breath and nodded as he slowly began to sheathe himself in to you.

"Oh fuck, you're so big." You whine as you arch your back slightly. Simon grunted above you, trying his best to not shove his entire length into you. "Steady....breathe love. Relax for me, there ya go." He said from above you. He pressed his forehead against yours as he continued to press himself all the way into you. Soon, his pelvis touched yours when he was fully settled into you. "Fuck love, you're so damn tight." He groaned, pressing a sloppy kiss on your cheek. Your nails were digging into his shoulders, surely leaving crescent shaped indentions in his flesh. "Let me know when I can move alright?" He prompted. You nodded and waited for your pulsing walls to stop stinging. He wasn't your first sexual encounter but damn if he wasn't the most filling. You soon nodded and gave him permission to start moving.

And move he did.

His thrusting started slowly, making sure to let you adjust to his size. Once your sounds became louder and more eager, his speed picked up and soon the bed was making soft creaking sounds at your movements. "Fuck love, you feel so good around me, squeezing me so tight. You're bloody dripping for me love." He rambled as he thrusted into you harder. He could tell you were about to cum again and it took almost all of his strength to not thrust into you harder, chasing his own release. "You gonna cum again? You gonna cum on my thick cock?" He asked. He watched as you nodded eagerly, wrapping your hands around his wrists to ground yourself. "Come on sweetheart, cum on my cock." He urged as he placed his hands on your cheeks. He wanted to hold you as close as possible when you were at the peak of your pleasure. "Cumming! Simon fuck! Fuck me!" you wailed as your walls clenched around him for the second time. He watched your eyes roll back in your head as your legs began to shake with the force of your orgasm. Once your eyes focused again, Simon's hips began to stutter against yours. "Fuck, I'm close love. Where do you want it?" He moaned as his peak was fast approaching. "Inside Simon. Please, need to feel you dripping from me." You whispered. If he could have gotten any harder, he would have. "You on something?" He asked, wanting to be sure. His mind wasn't so far gone that he wasn't able to think. You nodded, eyes crossing once again. "IUD. Safe." You stuttered out. Simon nodded and pressed his lips against yours as he came. His spend leaking deep within your walls. he felt drops of sweat drip off of his face and land on your forehead once he pulled back from the kiss. He slowly pulled his softening cock out of you and moved to pull you into his arms. "Did so well for me. Best shag I've ever had." He praised as he pressed gentle kisses on your temple. You nodded, body still shaking from the force of your last orgasm. "Can I get you anything love? You need water or..." he looked at his spend leaking out of your twitching hole and he couldn't help but feel proud of his work. "Hold on, I'll grab you something to clean up with..." He said as he stood and dampened a cloth for you. He cleaned himself off and then made his way back to you. Your hand rested on your chest and traced over the bruises on your throat.

"I'm gonna clean you off now alright love?" he said as he allowed you to feel the warmth of the cloth before he put it on you. You hummed in the affirmative and he lovingly wiped the fluids off your inner thighs and outer lips.

"Thank you.." You whispered as he discarded the cloth and returned to the bed to embrace you once more. He lay on his back and you shifted to rest your head over his heart. He was instantly brought back to all of those nights spent in that fancy hotel. You always slept with his heart under your ear, lulling you to sleep.

"I know we're married and all, but would it be weird of me to say I love you?" You whisper sleepily as you trace mindless shapes on his bare chest. Simon's heart sped up and he could feel thin pinpricks of tears welling in his eyes.

"I don't think it's weird at all. I think I love you too." He replied as he ran his fingers through your hair. You hummed softly and closed your eyes, breathing softly. Simon closed his eyes and counted every single one of his lucky stars that things worked out for you two in the end.

"Goodnight Mr. Riley." You whispered, sleep taking your mind. "Goodnight...Mrs. Riley." he responded, allowing sleep to take his mine as well.

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