#also I got sick in November and there was a holiday at the start of December that's really important to my family

[danikatze]

hi! just wanted to say as someone who really likes your art (and has been dealing with burnout myself), im glad to hear you're getting some time off soon! I hope you're able to rest as much as you need to and are able to take care of yourself. I know from experience that it really sucks to get to the point in burnout where you're unable to even do art for fun, so im glad it seems like you're able to tackle it before it gets to that point

dunno if I really have a point to this other than, like, solidarity? lmao. its just nice to sees artists taking care of themselves

Oh, thanks so much 🥹 Currently I'm not really able to draw for fun, yeah, which really sucks.. I hasn't been this bad in years. I think trying to print old stuff will be fine though, and hopefully by that time I can draw again as well hahah.

I'm very lucky that the graphic studio I work at is closed the last two weeks of the year. Dunno if I would have taken that time off myself.

Maybe I would have though, because the last two (and a half) months have been kind of crazy. I've had to be present on weekends a lot for teaching workshops and exhibition openings and other events, and while my regular work days tend to be rather quiet, I've been teaching and assisting on those days a lot more than usual as well. And besides that we've had a lot of stress because an important (and expensive and difficult to replace) piece of equipment decided to break just when it was needed most - a lot of things have been going wrong/taking a lot more effort than necessary because of it.

It's been a lot. It's also been fun, but I'm super introverted and I didn't have much alone time that I could use for recharging.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words, anon 💖You take care of yourself too!

[onthehighwaytomel]

LOVE being horrendously sick for the second time in two months, just when work is getting insane again and I picked up a freelance writing project that's due Monday 🙃🤧😒

[ramblingautisticman]

A Gift In The Making

Chapter 1 - Decorating In November

Summary : Logan has a problem. What the fuck does he get Wade for Christmas?

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3.)

(Okay, so I'm pretty excited about this little fic! Hopefully everyone enjoys it! Not sure when the next chapter will be out, but I know the last one will be out on Christmas Day! Anyway, enjoy, and link to the A03 version in is in the title!)

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Logan had left Wade in bed at roughly 9am, getting up to let Mary Puppins out to pee and by the time he got back, Logan was met with Wade decorating the apartment for Christmas. In November.

They had moved in a week ago- had all their belongings still in boxes- but apparently he had found the Christmas stuff.

Music was playing softly in the background as Wade stood in the corner of the living room, hanging ornaments on a tall pine tree (that he really hoped was plastic), humming along to the whatever festive song was playing.

"You uh...you know it's not even December yet, right princess?" He asked as he stepped inside and closed the door, placing Mary down on the floor, watching as she ran over to Wade's feet.

"Peanut! Your back! And yes, I know it isn’t December yet, but who doesn't love the festive spirit? Plus, this is your first Christmas here, and our first Christmas together, so I wanted to get a head start on it! Also, I may have seen a tiktok where someone put their decorations up and I instantly needed to put our tree up." Wade rambled, kneeling down to pet Mary's head, then standing back up and walking over to Logan with a huge smile on his face.

And okay, initially he was thinking of telling Wade to take it down for atleast a few more weeks, but he looks so happy that he couldn't bring himself to do so. "Well- it looks good. I like the tinsel." He comment, kissing Wade briefly on the lips before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a soda from the fridge.

He had been sober for a good 4 months now, and Logan wasn't planning on breaking that anytime soon. Wade made it easier, helped when he had a rough day, and they kept alot of soda in the fridge so he could have something in a can. It helped, having something familiar.

"You know, you've never mentioned anything about celebrating holidays. You better celebrate Christmas- if you don't because of religious reasons or whatever, fine- but I'm keeping my decorations up. It took me years to collect all of them!" Wade's voice brought him away from his thoughts, opening the can with a small chuckle, looking up at the other.

"I'm not religious. I don't think I could be living with you- I'd be going to hell if I was." He joked, sipping on his soda before leaning against the counter behind him. "Anyway, I do like Christmas. Just- haven't celebrated in awhile. That's all. Never really had anyone to celebrate with after....everything." Logan added on quietly, looking away.

It was still hard to talk about- his X-Men and what happened to them- but he was getting better. He didn't have a panic attack when people mentioned them now, and he could bring them up himself without feeling sick, which he thought was progress.

Christmas had always been a big deal in the mansion. Mostly for the kids- the ones who didn't have anywhere else to go. The team always made sure that they got to have a christmas like any other kid- getting them each a few presents that they wanted- and showed them that they always had a family here. No matter what.

Logan had never thought about celebrating Christmas after they died, or any other event for that matter. Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas- they had all been such happy funfilled events with the whole school that they left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he thought of them.

But here he was, a new family and a new home, people to celebrate with. It had been strange, having people to do that with.

They celebrated everything together. Birthdays, Halloween, and anything else that gave them a reason to all gather at Wade's place and eat pizza. Why wouldn't Christmas be the same?

"Well....we don't have to celebrate. If you don't want too- I don't mind. I can deal with it like the big boy I am- but I do expect you to watch some 90 Day Fiance with me as thanks to my understanding." Wade teased, hoping to lighten the mood as he moved to stand infront of Logan, gently wrapping his arms around the others neck.

Logan smiled alittle, looking back towards Wade's eyes, and placing his free hand on his waist. "No- we can celebrate. Just haven't in awhile, that's all. Makes me remeber celebrating with the team...but, I will be very happy to spend Christmas with you and your friends." He said softly, kissing Wade with a smile, slowly pulling away after a second. "Plus, you seem very excited.....and I really don't want to watch that crap again." Logan added, a smirk on his face.

"They are OUR friends Peanut. And yeah- it's always been my favourite holiday. Ever since I was a kid. It was the one day I got a break from my asshole dad, because my family would come over and he couldn't yell at me with guests there. Anyway- away from the angsty headcannons the author clearly wants to insert- do you wanna help me put the rest of the lights on the tree?" Wade asked with a kiss to Logan's cheek, moving away and towards the living room again. "Also, that show is hilarious and you should love it!"

For the rest of November, they would cuddle on the couch under the Christmas tree lights, watching reruns of Golden Girls on the TV that was surrounded by small decorations.

And as Christmas got closer and closer (and by closer and closer, Logan means 3 weeks away), Wade got to planning the big day itself, running everything past Logan as he did.

"So, Laura said she wants to come over Christmas Eve and stay the night- which I'm all for! I'm thinking we can watch movies and eat cookies and it'll be awesome!" "Do you think Al would like a new TV for Christmas?" "We need to get Mary Puppins an ugly Christmas sweater Peanut!"

It seemed never ending, but Logan could see how much this all meant to Wade, so Logan agreed with whatever his partner wanted. He didn't mind what they did, as long as their family were over. Plus, he was alittle distracted with something himself.

He didn't know what to get Wade. At all.

Logan had already gotten everyone else presents (Wade had dragged him to the mall the second week of November), with most of them being from Wade and Logan as joint gifts, but Wade was different. Wade needed something special.

This was their first Christmas together and Wade had done so much for him over this past 10 months, letting him move in with him and teaching him to love again- so Logan wanted (needed) to find a gift that showed how much he cared for him. How much he appreciated everything Wade had done.

And you'd think, well Wade likes so many things, shouldn't that be easy? And the answer would be no. No it wasn't.

Half of the things Wade liked were either kids shows, or weapons, and Logan really wasn't sure how he could get a meaningful gift that involved both bluey and a pistol.

Thankfully, after another week if thinking, he got an idea.

[dharmas-spam]

In wake of recent events and allegations against Neil Gaiman, I would like to release a statement that I know no one asked for. Because I have not been doing very well as of late, and this was the cherry on the shit sundae.

I hope you all understand that, in doing so, I do not mean to take away any attention from the victims. I just have to get this off my chest and clear the air I feel is polluted at the moment.

Here's my long-winded timeline of my interaction with Gaiman's work. Underneath will be my statement on these allegations and what I will be doing moving forward.

I first got into Neil Gaiman's work in June-July of 2021, around my birthday, although I had seen some of his work unknowingly over the years.

I will never forget the first time I watched Good Omens, and I will never forget the joy it made me feel from the first few frames. I finished the show soon after. The message of the beauty in individuality and the inherent neutrality of humanity made me feel hopeful for the first time in a while.

I read the book in October 2021 and was officially hooked. I started engaging in the fandom and found a place online where I felt wholly accepted. I made fanart, read/wrote fanworks, etc.

I then expanded my Gaiman-Verse knowledge in April 2022 and began reading American Gods, Anansi Boys, Trigger Warning, etc...and found great inspiration and solace in these works as well.

On August 5th, 2022, I watched Sandman the morning it released on Netflix, beyond excited, and then bought one of the large books with the first few comics complied inside after finishing the show.

My love for The Sandman universe only grew, and I gained new outlooks on life inside the character's words and actions. Death of The Endless and Hob Gadling were two characters that helped me better understand how to truly appreciate the world around me and the time I am blessed to have in it.

I received the full collection of The Sandman comics for Christmas 2022 and nearly cried with elation. I read through them like a beast and was given more of the extended works in the series (like Death's solo comic) later that same holiday. I was also given The Ocean At The End Of The Lane, and finished it in two days flat. I loved Mrs. Hempstock and her words on humanity.

As time passed, my passion for Gaiman's literature/media didn't waver.

I started dating my partner on June 1st, 2023, and Gaiman's work was part of what helped us bond, in addition to our already-lovely chemistry.

The EVERY kiss spoiler leaked and sobbed with excitement, lol.

Good Omens S2 was set to be released a few days after my birthday. However, I was very sick on my birthday and was rather miserable.

My parents went out of their way to make me Good Omens cupcakes in secret, and it was one of my best birthdays, purely because my father put in the effort to design them, despite my never letting him watch the show (which has since been amended).

That Christmas, I was given quite a bit of Good Omens and Sandman merchandise and started growing my collection of copies of Good Omens.

On April 25th, 2024, I watched Dead Boy Detectives the day it released, having been excited for it since November 2023, and found another media in the Gaiman-Verse that I adored and saw myself in.

Flash forward to tonight, July 4th, 2024, and I am devastated.

I spent the majority of my teen years consuming Gaiman's content and engaging in the fandoms. During the time, I found true happiness and felt comfortable in my identity, and I refuse to lie and say my self-discovery was not aided by the media he created.

I know this is not about me, but about the victims, and I know the allegations have been brought to light by many shady news sources, but I must finish my piece with this:

When J.K Rowling exposed herself as a TERF, I had not realized I was queer yet, but I was still deeply disturbed for reasons unknown to me. I separated the art from the artist, as I had loved Harry Potter since I was seven, and it was a way my mother and I bonded during hard times. It also helped me get through the height of quarantine and the horrors of puberty.

When I discovered Gaiman's work and the fandoms his work's inspired, I felt relieved: here was a white cishet person who cared for minorities and who created media for minorities.

If the allegations are true (which they likely are), it turns out my hero doesn't deserve his cape.

I will do as I did with J.K Rowling, with a much heavier heart. The fans deserve the joy and inclusion Gaiman's work has created, even if he himself is vile. I will continue to consume his work indirectly and in no support to him.

I encourage everyone in the fandom to stay calm during this time.

It is okay to be angry, sad, and confused. However, it is not okay to ignore the allegations altogether or the trauma these women have experienced at the hands of Gaiman.

This fandom is a safe space for many people, and I beg that it will remain that way.

I send out much love to the women who were hurt, and I hope you both find contentment.

[jewish-vents]

i miss my israeli cousins

i haven’t seen, or even talked to any of them since me nd my family last visited in 2018

one of my cousins is was born in the same year as my brother (2015) yet in my head she’s still a tiny child who doesn’t speak any english and barely speaks hebrew bcz i haven’t seen her since before she turned 3

another one of my cousins had a baby last august, who i’ve seen a few pictures of and learned her name but other than that nothing (i missed the same cousin’s wedding aswell)

one of my other cousins started active service in the idf back when 7/10 happened (10/7 for the americans) and his sister’s probably going to be drafted soon if she hasn’t already

my family was gonna go again in november 2023 for their brother’s bar mitzvah but obviously we couldn’t and had to miss it

i haven’t even spoken to any of them since i came out as trans (late 2020/early 2021) and based on how my family are (especially my mum and grandma, the side of the family they’re on) i seriously doubt they’ve been told, and in the unlikely event that they have they’ve definitely forgotten based on the way my mum nd grandma deadname me 90% of the time they’re not talking directly to me and misgender me 100% of the time always

i just don’t know any of them anymore, and none of them know me and that sucks bcz when i was younger we used to visit at least once a year to see them and my great grandparents (before they died) but then we missed a year cause we were sick or something then covid happened then we were too busy dealing with other shit and then the fucking war ramped up a month before we were supposed to see my cousin’s bar mitzvah and hasn’t gotten safe enough for us to see them again so now these people who are my literal family are as good as strangers to me

i should probably ask my grandma for their numbers or something but i don’t even know what id say to them at this point, it’d be worse than trying to reconnect with old friends for me because at least i can remember what those people were like 2 or 3 years ago + are around my age, had similar opinions, etc.

this is also contributing to my feeling of being disconnected from the jewish community irl tbh, i should really talk to my family about this (like my mum nd stuff) but i am physically incapable of being even slightly emotionally vulnerable so ig im sticking to online spaces, my one close jewish friend, and whichever holidays my family decides are worth celebrating🧍

sorry got kinda off topic there but yk (idk how to end this 😭)

.

[briar--rising]

Rosh Hashanah is next week. It's always been my favorite holiday, and every year I prepare for it and look forward to it. But this year I've been dreading it, and until this past week I couldn't figure out why.

I haven't been to synagogue much in the past year. I've gone a handful of times, but much less than any other year since graduating college. And I thought of going, my therapist tried to encourage me to go because she knows it often makes me feel better, but there was just this inner resistance that I couldn't figure out and wasn't ready to look at closely enough to decipher anyway. And then as the High Holy Days got closer and closer I started to notice that I was really dreading them, which is not how I usually feel. And so I brought it up in therapy on Tuesday, and came to some really important realizations.

I've been doing a lot of very serious grief work and trauma work this fall. My most serious trauma anniversaries are almost all in the fall, and it's a season of great grief and usually highly elevated symptoms for me. My first serious psychotic break was in the fall, four of my five hospitalizations have been in the fall, etc. Until this year I spent every autumn of the past decade pretty severely psychotic. I could not face the trauma and grief that this time of year brings up for me, I could not process those feelings and memories without losing my mind in defense so that I wouldn't have to truly experience them. I've always known this, and for a few years have tried very hard to truly experience my grief and not retreat into psychosis, but I never managed it until this year.

This autumn has been different. I've still struggled with psychosis much more than in the summer, I still have to fight it most days. But I'm winning most of those fights. And I'm grieving. I'm mourning, I'm crying, I'm sitting with my feelings for as long as I can bear and then distracting myself from them when they get too much instead of retreating into symptoms most of the time. I'm genuinely experiencing the thoughts and feelings I need to be experiencing. I'm reading about death, about grief, about loss, I'm talking about these things in therapy. It's often incredibly painful, though sometimes it is simply a peaceful kind of sorrow. I'm getting in touch with a lot of the feelings I've found so difficult to face from some of the hardest times of my life, and I'm experiencing some of them again.

And some of those feelings that I was really quite blindsided by and that I've been largely repressing for 15 years are incredibly complicated feelings about G-d. When I was 11 years old I was just like any other religious and traumatized kid: I prayed to G-d to fix it. I did that thing kids do, I tried to make bargains with Him. "Dear G-d, if I clean my room will You save my mommy? If I'm perfect, will You fix my family?" You know. Things like that.

I was desperate for anything, anyone to save me. I talk sometimes about the particular traumas of that year, about my brother's birth, about my mother's hospitalizations, about her suicide attempt. But I have no words to express the year as a whole, except to say that terrible thing after terrible thing after terrible thing happened, and throughout all of it I was neglected and left at sea. My mom was sick, my dad was trying to keep his head above water, no one was there for me. So I tried to turn to G-d. And when He wasn't there for me either, I felt incredibly abandoned and betrayed, both by Him but also because I was taking my feelings about my family neglecting me during severe trauma and putting them onto Him. It's hard for me to express the levels of hurt and rage I felt at G-d during that time period.

And then my memory cuts out. I remember approximately nothing from shortly after my twelfth birthday (in June) until November over a year later. I have a handful of memories of specific events that took place at school or at camp, but absolutely zero memories of my internal feelings or anything that ever took place at home during seventh grade. It's just. Gone. Always has been, probably always will be.

The next significant things I remember in terms of my relationship to G-d and my religion are all about Hebrew High School, which I loved (I got to start it early bc I was being bullied in normal Hebrew School), and preparing for my Bat Mitzvah, which I also loved. My memory goes from intense feelings of betrayal and abandonment and agony to instantaneously a relatively low conflict, positive relationship with G-d and Judaism (with Jewish-appropriate amounts of questioning of course and moments of anger, but no true rage and despair like I once felt). And I stayed in that space of Judaism-as-comfort-with-minimal-internal-conflict for the next 10+ years. I have no idea how that transition happened, but it certainly didn't occur because I slowly and naturally dealt with all of my complicated feelings and embraced religion after processing.

And then this year, well. I guess the processing came due. I'd like to be very very clear that being Jewish always has been and always will be incredibly important to me, and nothing about any of this changes that. I am struggling, though. I'm re-experiencing a lot of those childhood feelings of betrayal and abandonment and confusion and rage. And not being ready to face those feelings is why I've been subconsciously avoiding synagogue for the past year, and is why I've been dreading the holidays. At least now I'm aware of what's happening, so that's a step in the right direction. And in the long term this is a good and important step not only in my trauma recovery but in my relationship with Judaism and with G-d; I can't have as deep of a relationship as I want without this kind of struggle. To quote my therapist, "your relationship with Judaism is too important to you to be easy." Thankfully in Judaism struggling like this is not only allowed but expected. But it is a struggle, right now. A painful one.

I leave you all with a song I've been listening to on repeat that is helping me confront and think about a lot of these feelings:

[autumnslance]

Year of the OTP 2023 - Thancred & Aeryn Masterpost

Originally started by a Batman fandom group, Year of the OTP is a challenge to end up with 12 new fics from a series of prompts for one's favorite ship. They've been gracious enough to open it to anyone and everyone, however, so a few of us decided to add our Final Fantasy XIV wolships into the mix.

So here are 12 fics/screenshot sets for my OC Aeryn Striker with that canon rogue, Thancred Waters. Also migrating the stories onto my Ao3, mostly in "Unexpected" and "Despite the Gods We've Outlived", though a few stand alone in my "Aeryn Striker" series.

January - Dual Perspectives (ARR, Pre-relationship) February - Linkpearl (Stormblood, early relationship, long distance) March - Ladyhawke Fairy Tale AU (image set, plot summary) April - Desert Divergence (AU/Canon Divergence, Love Confess) May - Illness (ARR pre-relationship, sick fic/comfort) June - Confession (Shadowbringers Love Confess, poorly timed) July - Stars (Yearning at the start of Shadowbringers) August - Snowstorm (Heavensward pre-relationship comfort) September - I Wrote This For You (A letter of yearning, Endwalker) October - On A Dark & Stormy Night (Dark Fairy Tale AU images) November - Missing Scars (Post-Shadowbringers readjustment) December - Home (post-Endwalker holidays & belonging)

Some of these did get written later, going back and filling in months I'd missed. Life happens! Also original story writing eating up my brain, but I cannot complain about more writing productivity!

This also let me get in at least one long-sitting WIP completed finally ("Snowstorm"; we're not going to talk about how long that's been in drafts...), while others still didn't mesh ("Meeting the Family" is being a rambling monster) but led to entirely new things getting written. And it got me to play with a few AUs, which I normally don't do, aside from the Halloween silliness, which found its way into this set as well.

Thanks again to YOTP for hosting and opening up this little challenge, and here's to a new year of creativity around all our blorbo pairings!

[uyuforu]

Honey, where are you? You're not as active as you used to be. I hope you are well.

A little Uyu update and why I disappeared

Hi everyone I hope you are doing great! I have been off Tumblr for some days, I think it could have been more than a week, and here is what happened. I actually fell sick beginning of July, and I had a bad fever for 2 weeks. I was still working on current private readings I had, since people paid for those readings, and I was late since I was sick. I finished those late indeed. But working while still having a fever made me realize I needed a break, like a real one.

I have been working on this blog non stop since I have started, meaning November 2023. I was everyday active on it. And I realize it was time to take some private time for me, without being active on the blog. So it must be selfish for some of you, and I am sorry for that. But falling sick due to overworking myself wasn't on my to do list this year, so I have decided to enjoy some holidays. I took a little break.

So I fell sick, and after that I burned my fingers at 250°, and then when I was better, during my personal break, I did some activity with one of my friend and we did some tree climbing with some zip lines too. Yet, while doing it, I fell and hang out 4 meters to the ground and having a string being very close to my hip it almost got inside it. It hurt a lot and It was pretty painful lol. I also noticed I keep hurting myself in different ways, I thought it was very strange.

At some point, I had the intuition something was going on. As if someone was wishing me to be away from working or my responsibilities. I found out indeed someone was trying to sabotage my activity, and I have no idea how they do it. And I don't know exactly who this is. Anytime I wanted to come back on Tumblr, I hurt myself which led me to need to delay the come back.

If you read until now and have a tip to reverse the bad energy some people send you, I will gladly take it ;-;

So, what is next! I'll finish the free readings of course, and I will also post more these few days :) I have some big posts coming so hoping you will enjoy it ^^ I'll see you soon!

Oh and I have another project coming soon so stay tune :)

- uyu, with love!

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #29 | 03.27.23

Hi everyone!

April is almost here, which terrifies me since the year is going by so fast. Before I get into game updates, I wanted to share a bit of a (somewhat) personal one.

This month, progress on Alaris was overall a bit slow---or at least, slower than usual. I noticed this month I was struggling a lot with working on basically anything, whether it was for school, work, Alaris, or just taking care of myself. And I realized basically a year late that I was feeling extremely burnt out.

For those who have been following Alaris for a long time, you may know that early 2022, I was struggling with a lot of personal circumstances. I had taken a week off back then to "take time for myself," but in actuality, I had continued working on Alaris and other things because sometimes when I have too much time on my hands, it's worse for my mental health. This was a recurring theme for basically all of 2022. Even during the holiday breaks (e.g., summer, November, December, etc.), I continued working on Alaris, partly because I love the project, partly because it helps me cope with irl things.

This past month, I think the break that I've desperately needed since the start of 2022 made itself Very Apparent and made progress slow on my end. I'm very sorry if the update this month is disappointing because of that! I tried to take a break this past week and am feeling a bit better now, so hopefully, things start to get back on track this upcoming month <3 With that, I'll get into actual updates!

Writing

I'm not going to lie to you all; writing was Slow this month LOL. Basically, the entire writing team got taken out by some sickness or another. I would say for 2-3 weeks of the month, there was no progress on editing or writing at all since everyone was sick at the same time <\3 We are starting to pick things back up, but please send your best wishes to the writing team since they were Going Through It this month!! Also, if you got sick this month and got whatever has been going around globally, I hope you are feeling better as well <333

I did update a good amount of the demo script---just rewriting things since my writing style has changed a little. Small things, but hopefully enjoyable changes nonetheless!

Art

As always, we have continued to make progress on BG art. This month, Vui finished the River BG and the Forest BG, both of which appear in Chapter 2 of the demo. We actually only have one more BG to finish, which is the Flower Field, and all the BGs for the demo will be complete (ahh!!!). It's been about 5 (?) months in the making to revamp all the BGs for the demo, but we are finally reaching the finish line, and everything is slowly getting ready for a revamped demo release ^^

preview of the forest BG

I also have a preview of the GUI for you all! There will be some small changes, like colors, before the final version. But a little crumb to feed you all since I didn't make much progress this month

I also mentioned in the last devlog how I might update the personality icons for Alaris, which were completed this month by the same item artist who did the affection point icons!

The overall vision for this was little potions to build on the "magical" setting of Alaris. I think they're much easier to differentiate and so cute <3

My focus was more on demo art assets for this month, so I finished up the individual CGs for each of the LI's introductions.

soft and fluffy updated Etza CG

I also started updating the sprites a bit---mostly small touches so the art looks a bit more cohesive since my style has changed a bit since the demo first came out. Aisa and Kuna'a are receiving outfit changes so that their clothing stands out from Central gang and looks more cohesive with the aesthetic that will be used for Fae.

Additional Notes

Something else I got to work on this month was finally reviewing the demo voiced lines in full. I hope you all are EXCITED to listen to them in the updated demo! A lot of the lines had me giggling (heehee!). I can't wait to see everything together once it's coded into the game ^^

I also opened applications for playtesters. They close at the end of this month, aka in a couple of days. So if you are interested, please don't forget to submit an application! Thank you already to everyone who has submitted something. The response was more than I expected, so as always, I appreciate the support you all provide wah <3

Market Research

Lastly, I actually got to do some "market research" this month (yay!). I finished up Piofiore finally.

the man, the legend: gilbert redford

Touchstarved also came out. I unfortunately haven't been able to play the demo yet since I was traveling when it was released, but I already know I'll love it and I drew Kuras even though I haven't even played the game yet LMAO

gender envy

Anyways, I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3

[nvmidcyk]

✨WEEKLY JOURNAL 3✨

MY MOTHER

Her name is Habibah Binti Abd Majid. Born on 15 April 1965. She is the strongest people I know. When my dad fell ill, she’s the one to take care of him. When my brothers and sisters fell ill, again, she’s the one to care f or them. Even though she has many health problems such as highblood, eczema, diabetes and every other old people’s sickness, she is still standing strong everyday to look after all of us.

She is the most talented person I know. She can sew, knitting, crocheting, do a lot of art stuff such as bouquet, quilling, embroidering and the list kept on going. When I was having my “Khatam Ceremony” at MSU, she made me and my twin’s bouqet of flower! I really appreciate it! I love hand made stuff 🤍. Plus, it’s from my own mother. I love her so much.

But then, all life will face its ups and downs. Recently, my mother was diagnosed with lymphadenopathy on the left side of her tongue. The doctor said that it is a cancer stage 3. This November, she will undergo an operation to remove half of her tongue, and the doctor will operate her neck to remove the infected glands. It started with my mom unconsciously biting her tongue causing an ulcer. But it didn’t heal over time because her tongue kept on hitting the teeth. Ulcers should only take 2 weeks to heal at most. But my mom’s ulcer took over 2 months or more and still didn’t heal. I hope you guys will take note of our mistakes. Never take ulcers lightly.

My mom is so strong.. She can tell us the whole thing about the operation with a laugh when all of us are crying. She said she has accepted her fate that Allah will test us with sickness. I know all of this is true.. and the doctor said that the success rate is high. He also said that the fact that my mom can still feel pain, can taste food and still have an apetite to eat are good signs. It still pains me to hear what she must go through in order to heal.

I pray for my mom to heal so that she will not undergo the horrible operation.. My mom, my dad and my sister are on holiday at Perth, Australia. I hope she will take her time to ease her heart and mind there.

O Allah I beg your biggest pardon! Make it easy for my mom.

11/11 - My mom got admitted to the hospital.

13/11 - The day of the operation.

[giggly-squiggily]

miss rey is having a sick day and she's gonna spend it sending you kny modern au christmas thoughts 😌 working in this goddamn elementary school has gotten me into the spirit for the first time in years and i need to embrace this while it lasts.

growing up sanemi never really got anything big for christmas, over the course of november he mostly necessities like new shoes when his old ones didn't fit anymore or a winter jacket and then on actual christmas day maybe a dvd or something handmade. it got a little better once he was old enough to do parttime jobs but even then he used most of his earnings to get something nice for his siblings. when it came to sanemi money was always tight and he was okay with that if it meant genya or the others could get something out of it. and when he got older and his friend group started to give each other christmas presents, the first time they'd come up to him like "we got you something" he'd be like "... why would you do that 🤨" - literally the second kanae hears that he never really got nice christmas presents you KNOW she's dedicating eight months of the year to plan something for him and it makes him cry every single time.

with tengen it's the same thing but sort of in the other direction. got everything he never wanted for christmas every year which was annoying and draining and just felt so detached and performative. the first time makio hands him a box with self made cookies and says "i'm sorry, i would've bought you something but i didn't find anything you'd like" he almost proposes on the spot because it just feels so great to have people actually put thought into their gifts for him and not just grab the shiniest looking thing from a shelf. (not that he doesn't love getting shiny things but only if it's a shiny thing that the person picked specifically because they thought he'd like it)

obanai is the grinch for exactly however long it takes him to discover that mitsuri loves christmas more than anything. once he's a bit more open to the idea he also discovers that it's actually fun to exchange gifts and spend time together during the holidays (who can blame him, he never had that prior to going to university) and he gets really into it. people are always surprised by his great gift giving skills but it really pays off to sit in the corner and listen in on conversations quietly, he really picks up on a lot of wishes that way and when december rolls around he just knows what everyone wants or needs. on their first christmas together mitsuri gives him a little scarf she made and says "so kaburamaru doesn't get sick" and obanai decides right then and there that christmas is his favorite holiday of the year. (ONLY christmas eve and christmas day though and ONLY for exchanging gifts and spending time together, all the blinking lights and santa merch and mariah carey can go to hell)

tanjiro is always all over the place during christmas time because there's just so much to do and so much to take care of and oh son of a monkey i have to go gift shopping and oh fudge what am i gonna cook and fiddlesticks i forgot to put the tree up and GOD FUCKING DAMNIT INOSUKE STOP EATING THE ADVENT WREATH - it's a lot. so on actual christmas day he's usually exhausted and his friends have to tie him to his seat so he doesn't continue to run around and try to do everything for everyone. he still loves it tho, he's always participating in social projects around that time as well and getting gifts for homeless people, children in poverty and volunteering to dress up and collect kids' wish lists in hospitals etc.

sabito on the other hand grew to despise christmas because of his job at the elementary school. it's just too much. all the music and all the glitter and the all the christmas shows he has to attend (and organize!), the baking and crafting and reading christmas stories and looking out so children don't burn themselves with the candles and putting up that dusty old tinsel that makes his eyes water and pretending that santa is real, christmas is the bane of his existence. of course he gets his loved ones some gifts and maybe goes out to eat with them but once that's done he immediately goes home and sleeps through til new year's eve. everybody knows not to say merry christmas until sabito has left because one time they all said it when they met up during the holidays and when they got to sabito he went "if i have to say that one more time i'm gonna kill each and every one of you and then myself" and now they just do it when he's not around.

that's all the thoughts i have for now, sorry for barging in with this long ass ask like that 💀 stay hydrated, i send you a fluffy blanket and a kiss on the forehead but with a mask so you don't catch my cough :3

Oh Rey! *hugs and brings all the healing vibes and tissues* I'm sorry you got sick; something about this season just brings all the germs! And lets go getting into the spirit of things! :D

IJKRKJERJEJKRJ AHHHHHHH THESE ARE FREAKING DELIGHTFUL! Sanemi prioritizing his siblings and necessities is such a canon thing he'd do; and Kanae making it her life's mission to give him a good christmas is so KJEJJREKJREJ She's the queen of gifting- she knows everyone's taste and preferences and while it takes a while to get any info out of him, she'll find him something special. He's always so touched by it and makes it a point to do the same for her- saving up to get her one of those nice hair ornaments or dedicating any free time he has to making her something from scratch. He is a jack of no trades, but the effort is there and seeing her genuinely love it is the best gift to him.

Oh my god YES! I feel like Tengen doesn't really like christmas all that much? Mainly like you said, gifts always felt draining and preformative and also, despite growing up in a large family, maybe it didn't feel like a loving home? (Going a little into his canon background there) Like- his family held christmas parties every year but gifts were more like bragging rights over their guests vs actual care and thoughtfulness. Christmas with the girls is so much more special to him cause everything feels like they really thought of one another. (Also Tengen liking shiny things makes me laugh- he's like a crow ajerkjajekraejrj)

KLJERKJLEJKLRJKERJ OBANAI HELP! Grinch 363 days a year- the last two it fades away, especially with Mitsuri. He's a gift giving god; rivaling Kanae with his observation skills and such. You know he's always dressing Kaburamaru in his little scarf during the colder months- even when it starts to get a little worn down. (Mitsuri makes it her new tradition to make him a scarf every year after that.) They'd be the couple sneaking kisses under the mistletoe throughout the party.

TANJIRO YES! He's a little busy bee running about during December; baking treats and keeping Inosuke off the advent wreath (that's freaking hilarious oh my god) and volunteering and just- all of it! Christmas rolls around and he's so tired he can't even keep his eyes open for a good few hours into the day. It's his little reward for working so hard; a nice break on the big day ajerjaejarj

Sabito hating christmas is a whole mood akjekjrakjejkrajkerja He might have liked it at one point, but after working at an elementary school and being overdosed with the holiday spirit he is so burned out jareajreajjaerjkeajr (NOT HIM QUOTING ROSE KLJWJRKEJRJEJR) Of course he's gonna keep the vibes up for the children and his love ones but when the day is done he's hibernating with a heated blanket ajkaerjae

Just to add on:

Akaza wins ugly christmas sweater every year; he has so many cause he unironically thinks they're cute (and they keep him nice and toasty during the cold months). He gets matching ones for his favorite/only nephew Rui; they take pictures every year and have a whole album dedicated to it.

Douma is a pro figure skater without the pro part; good luck keeping him off the ice this season, especially if you put on "Theme of King JJ"; he also sings christmas songs non-stop and while he has a nice voice and can carry a tune, there comes a time when someone's about to shout "STOP SINGING ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, IT'S FREAKING JANUARY!"

Zenitsu is absolutely the one to plan a trip to a warmer part of the world during winter; he cannot stand the cold whatsoever and saves up every year to escape for a week or two. If it happens to fall during Christmas, he facetimes everyone with a drink in hand on the beach wearing pineapple sunglasses he bought at the souvenir shop like the absolute tourist he is.

Thank you for sharing these, Rey! They are absolutely delightful! :3

[emilydjgamer]

Happy new years!

I know Im not active often but I just wanted to take a moment and look back on 2024 and the people who helped me get through this helluva year. January was off to a rough start. I got fired from my animal shelter job because a cat bit me and they didn't want me getting hurt again. After that I kept getting sick and missed school. Other than that, January was decent. February was pretty good. I was in my school talent show and people actually liked it. I also got a job at a small business in my town. March was bittersweet. My friends cat (rip lily) passed away and so did his favorite teacher (rip mr. B). he was really down. Thankfully I was able to support him and the situation gave us a chance to reconnect. Also went to a super cool tech convention with my school. In april I met a new neighbor and 8 months later she is like family. Iirc, I got bronchitis which made it so it hurt to breathe. In may I went to the ER for mysterious stomach pain. After that, about a week later, I was depressed, mentally exhausted, and burned out from everything. June was uneventful. In july I got fired from my job in my town and they never told me why I was fired. August was spent trying to earn money for a convention and having another health scare. September was the start of a new school year and I had some fun classes and my local carnival was in town. Also went to Fan-X and it was awesome. October SPOOKY MONTH! i love all things Halloween and had agreatt time! November made me one year older. My family took me out to do stuff for my entire birthday week and it was amazing. December has been good. For one, there was no family drama on Christmas and I spent a lot of time with friends and family.

Once again, Happy holidays and may 2025 be your year!

@darkstalker1247

@wolfnxtra

[misshowdoyoudo]

Wtf has been going on?

Lol, glad you asked

So, back in like August, I got all my stuff packed up and I move back in with my parents because I am Finally Done with College, right? Except I'm not, because apparently one of my professors did not agree with my Internship because it wasn't to her standards.

So now I gotta redo my entire internship. Okay, that's fine, I got some connections, I'm only a little upset. Except I'm slowly losing my mind because that was a lot of work down the drain and she didn't tell me until the very END of the semester. Cool.

Well, then I find out I still needed ONE(1) singular credit in order to graduate. And it's not the internship credit, it's a movement credit.

At this point in time, I had also been dating trash dudes left and right. All these guys either wanted sex or someone to take home for the holidays so they didn't look worse than their brothers or whatever. My self esteem is dropping lower than it has in the past.

I set up a plan to end things. My dog has no idea how she saved my life.

ANYWAYS

About a month later, I meet a really good man. We hang out a bunch and things actually start looking up. We start dating for real mid-October. I really fall for him, and he falls just as hard (as I have been informed by him, at any rate lol)

Bf's mom (I will refer to her as Mamasita) has had chronic pain for a while now. Bf's dad (who I will refer to as Papa-san) has been looking around for things to help. Stumble upon this guy who can do surgeries to help.

So Mamasita goes in for TWO surgeries late November, early December. The first is a success and I help with chores while Mamasita is in bed and Papa-san is at work.

Second surgery rolls around and everyone is much more nervous about this one. This one is a lot riskier and could lead Mamasita to be paralyzed if done wrong (so could the last one, but the room for error is MUCH smaller on this one). Bf is sick with worry, so I'm keeping things upbeat and providing food and comfort while everyone is freaking out. I'm keeping Mamasita calm day of, and by extension bf and Papa-san.

The second surgery was a success, but Mamasita is in a LOT of pain the next day. I'm once more helping around the house (as is bf, but mostly in helping his mom), which isn't a big deal to me because I actually like cooking and cleaning, I just have a hard time staying focused on the tasks or even getting them started. Which is, huh, similar to how I go about writing.

TURNS OUT I HAVE ADHD

Surprised? I sure heckin was. Bamboozled, in fact. Got diagnosed shortly after a visit to a professional who was like: bro, you should get this checked out it might be adhd

And I was just 👀

I do exactly that. Now I'm going on Adderall, which will most likely help with my spasticness. Maybe. Hopefully.

TLDR: Had some bad thoughts for a bit, got some doctor help, got a wonderful boyfriend, helped with bf's mom having two surgeries, and found out I have ADHD for realsies. Wild.

[vivimontesworld]

End of November

It's almost the end of November, the year is coming to an end. I wish I could say I'm happy about it, that I am happy for vacationing from college, that I'm happy for the holiday season, that I'm just happy, but I haven't met that feeling lately. Instead of feeling joy in this season, I feel almost empty.

In this year and the last I have finally met independency and known what's like to be on my own, it is a nice feeling, but it also comes with the need to put limits on yourself that are no longer there.

Growing up, money started to get tight really early on, so we went from middle class to struggling, we always had everything we needed, of course, but we couldn't afford certain "luxuries", such as eating pizza (which may sound like dumb, but in my country it's like 50 bucks a large pizza, and that might be the lowest), or eating McDonald's or any fast food. So, last year, when I moved out of my family's house and also before that, the first time I got a job, I just started to eat, eat whatever I ever wanted, this year I just didn't have my mom putting limits on me.

I'm not at all proud to say this, but if you look at my credit card bill from last month you will see maybe 5 charges of pizza places, and about 10 of burguer king and McDonald's, also snacks that I buy every day in college, and a lot of sweets. So, to summon up, I used to weight 59/60kg for almost all of my life, and now I weight 69,80kg, never in my life I had looked at a scale and saw that number. At first, I just let it go, my weight goes up and down a lot, I went from 67kg to 69kg in the same week, i just couldn't let myself worry about that, finally, I was eating everything I always wanted.

November gets here, and I start to notice what the fast weight gain did to my body. I always had stretch marks, ever since I was like 10 or 12, I just learned to not worry about them, but now I can't get past them, all I see when I look myself in the mirror is the disgusting amout of stretch marks and celulite that is my butt and legs, also on my waist. I am not pleased with this, not at all, I am back at where I was back in 2019, hating what I see in the mirror, finding the image disgusting, fasting, exercising, doing whatever to loose this weight.

You could tell me to find healthy ways to cope with this, healthy ways to resolve this, but for what? I never had one single aspect of my life that is healthy, not even my own health, so why keep trying to do things the right way? why do I need to keep seeking desperately to be healthy when it has never done anything to me?

I have been to doctors, I have been to a nutricionist, I have gone to therapy, to a psychiatrist, I am still sick, in all the ways. I am the problem, I have always been, it's not news to me, I'm not going to get better, so, if I not going to be ever healed from everything, I might as well be at least pretty.

What I'm going to do is: I am going to post about this here. Where no one knows who I am, where I am from or what is really wrong with me.

I want to loose 10kg until new years eve, cause that when I am going to the beach. I already lost 1,5kg. I am going to do this! Please give me tips on what I sould do!

[hiimzzzz]

Autobiography

I was born during the summer, on the 10th day of March 2004 in the busy city of Las Pinas. We are three siblings in the family and I was the third. Unfortunately, my brother Ruzel died when he was still an infant. I was raised by my grandparents from my father's side because my parents have to work for the betterment of our family, they say. I grew up a typical way, Ido what other children would do but I didn't grow close and open to my family. Maybe it's because of the different treatment of my parents between me and my brother, Selwyn. I was always left behind during vacation trips because someone had to be at home to feed the dogs and take care of our grandmother from my mother's side. It was tough but I don't really mind it, after all, that's the thing that changed me, shaped me, and made me become the Zandrew I am today. Fast forward to when I started my high school life, I experienced the sign of coming of age and of course, I experienced my first love. It was so cruel and chaotic but I am thankful that it happened because it also help me become what I am now. There I developed the thinking that sometimes, something is just too cruel for us to have so it'll leave. Sometimes, things will not go the way we planned them and we have to accept that fact. That is also the time when I learned how to play the guitar. I used a youth choir guitarist but my way of playing the instrument does not really match up, it was more of a rock and roll manner. I was forced to quit the choir because of the way I played during that one mass. But that did not stop me from playing the guitar because I often play songs at school with my other classmates and I was part of a school band. The year was 2017 and during the month of November, my father got sick with tuberculosis. He was immediately brought to the hospital near their office. He stayed at the intensive care unit for almost one month because his condition was so bad. That is the time when I experienced the holiday season alone, the Christmas and New Year passed by without a single glimpse of happiness. He got discharged in January 2018 and started recovering for 6 months before going back to work. Days passed by and the year 2019 came, the year the COVID-19 pandemic started. It was my birthday when the quarantine started, it was only a one-week suspension that turns out to be years. At first, it was hard because I can't do the things that I always do but then I find ways to do something just to erase boredom. I experienced online and modular classes during my last grade as a junior high school student, it was something foreign to a student because we are used to always going to school every day. I accepted academic commissions that got me paid 500 pesos per quarter. I graduated with honors and applied as a senior high school student at Emilio Aguinaldo College - Cavite. I am currently enjoying my last year as a high school student and college life is around the corner. This is very tiring because I joined too many extracurricular activities, I am part of the school press which is The Emilian Chronicler, I also played basketball for HUMSSstrandduringourintramurals and now I am playing for SHS12, I am also playing for a band that will perform in our school for an event. My life is a busy life but I still enjoy the things I do because I enjoy exploring different things. I do have a lot of dreams and a lot of other things I wanted to do, I guess I am an explorer. Things that happened to me since I was a child are the things that made me up today, I am thankful for everything because it will not be the same if something was missed. I still have a long way to go and I am sure that there will be a lot of things that will shape me and help me shape my adult figure.

[newyorkmylife]

Love, red. Winter, blue.

December 31, 2024 2am

Keywords of my daily life recently:

holidays (seriously, I'm sick of this!)

winter (seriously, I'm sick of this!)

sun (seriously, why is it gray every day? I'm sick of this!)

dark chocolate (please, I need more. 70% cocoa content or higher)

love (is it real? how can I let myself fall into its sweet embrace?)

anxiety (why and where did it come from?)

zelda (yes, I finally started playing again and it feels so good)

silver-linings (am I turning the corner?)

Quick recap of November (and it absolutely does not make justice to all that happened): a few days before my trip to Japan - as the month of October was on the verge of ending - the landlord told me he didn't want my girlfriend to stay over even 1 night a week. It naturally followed that I had to find a solution and to me it was finding and moving to a studio apartment. Fast forward to today and I think I did an amazing job. I got a good deal, but man how hectic it was to find this in a few days and MAN how crazy life got for a few hours between 4pm and 7pm on October 31.

Then came my friends' wedding in Japan. I absolutely adore them, they're my model couple and I do aspire to have the life they have - and their kindness and confidence in their everyday life together. The time I spent in Tokyo was fantastic - as it is every time I visit. Needless to say, the sun was shining bright and hot for early November. Also, I finally got to visit South Korea for the first time. It was only 2 days in Seoul, but BOY OH BOY, MAAAN OOOH MAAAN did I spend every single split second intensely aware of the whole experience. I met my old friend who was one of my very first friends here in Toronto and he showed me around like I never imagined one could show someone around.

After the trip I had to come back to reality. I was still adapting to the new job and had some tasks to finish. The pace slowed down as December drew closer. At first it felt easier, but it did come with a major drawback: more bureaucracy. Head-implosive, gray-matter-corrosive, rat-spinning-on-a-wheel kind of bureaucracy. Fast forward to today and I've realized that the morning meetings are picking at my brain like a woodpecker on a tree after a spring rain. I'm asking for mercy. Relieve me of the burden of daily 1-hour meeting where I'm involved for only 5 minutes. And don't get me started on the amount of context switching that has killed my ability to concentrate. But that's what we do for money, right? Shareholder value!

That and the seemingly unending gray days of the Great Lakes. As if I didn't know that every year the holiday season felt like this. Made worse by the brainlessness of corporate culture and the empty holiday wishes it comes with.

Fuck off, pass me my mango milk drink and sunglasses.

The good news: I have a beautiful, sweet, caring, loving girlfriend. She's always there for me and makes sure to brighten my day with little gestures. I'm baffled by how that is not making me jump from joy. Although I'm really happy when I see her, it feels like the happiness fades pretty quickly and I am overwhelmed by negative thoughts. At first I thought I had let myself go and the negativity came purely from the inside, but I suspect a solid case of winter sadness. The lack of sunshine and reduced physical activity must be taking a toll on the amount of serotonin in my brain (hence the dark chocolate as a much-needed elixir of joy). Two days ago, I woke up motivated to fight the winter (maybe because there was a sliver of sunshine that without realizing it had gave me that motivation by hitting my eyes as I woke up). I set a goal of 20,000 steps for the day, had a small lunch and headed off to the lakeshore. During the while I also ran spontaneously after a very long time trying to strengthen my calf as I've been dealing with a long overdue injury. That afternoon spent around town, walking and running, spinning around... it felt like life was life-ing. It felt like life had gotten back into me. And it gave me confidence to keep improving, get stronger and finally get back to running (and build a habit of it while I'm at it).

The second last day of the year is concluding (I'm already 2 hours into the 31st). I've been trying to act like it's not holiday season and have barely begun to think back to everything that happened in 2024. What is left now is to enjoy New Year's Eve with my girlfriend. What do I even have to complain about?