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jawllines · 3 years ago

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miss jaws !!!! pretty pls could you soon give us that witchrry catch up you promised us ???? 💟☹️

OH YES! IM SORRY HERE YOU GO

“I do not like this form, human! Change me back at once!”

When Y/N said she wanted to try the spell that could give a familiar a human body for a little while, she really had not expected it to go over like this.

How she did imagine it was something cute and simple. She and Harry having nothing to do on a Saturday night bored out of their whits and looking for some mild entertainment. Y/N would remember that she’d seen this spell flipping through one of the books that her Nan sent her in the mail, she’d tell him they should try it, and Harry would agree, of course, because who didn’t want to see an animal as a human? It would be fun, they would get to see what Thumper and Oat would be like as something other than furry little mammals, and then they would change them back and that would be that.

However, when you’re a witch, things rarely go as planned or even think about being as easy. Maybe it was Y/N’s fault (it definitely was), but she had sort of jumped the gun on waiting for a Saturday night that she and Harry were both bored. Instead, on a Thursday night when Harry is supposed to come over after doing some business at one of the bars here, Y/N thought she should just go ahead and make the concoction now. That’s all it was -- some special herbs and mixes that the familiar would consume. She thought it would be easy to just make it, set up somewhere high that Thumper and Oat (who she watched while Harry was working) wouldn’t be able to reach it, and then surprise Harry with the fact that she had made it once he got back.

But of course, just as soon as she’s turned her back to get the lid for the bowl she’d made it in, she turns around to see Thumper with his face buried in the mix, “Hey!” She cried out, but it was already much too late; Thumper’s little nose twitched as it was covered in the pink substance, and there is a flash of light so blinding that Y/N has to close her eyes. When she opens them. . .well, she made the potion correctly. In the place of her grumpy little bunny there is a grumpy looking guy with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed. He had hair as white as Thumper’s fur, very dark colored eyes, and stark naked.

Y/N squealed, covering her eyes but before she could she saw him cover his ears, “Loud! Stop that!”

“I’m sorry,” she rushed to say, a little quieter, “Cover your -- cover your bits!”

“My what?” He sounded irritated, Y/N could only huff -- even if she hadn’t witnessed it happening, there would be no doubt in her mind that this attitude was coming from her bunny.

“The dangly thing between your legs,” she urges, “Cover it!”

There is a disgruntled sigh, “You are so rude! Why am I human? I want to be a bunny again!”

Y/N peeked her eyes open a little to make sure he had something over him, and she sees he’d settled with his hand, “Well if you would have just waited instead of sticking your nose in something that wasn’t yours, I could have explained what it was before you went and eat it! You’re such a naughty bunny.”

“I am not! You are a naughty witch. Who wants to be human anyway?” He plucked Oat up when had come around to sniff the bowl, “Don’t eat this Oat, it tastes like oranges, limes, and lemons all wrapped into one.”

Squinting, Y/N is about to scold him for being mean when the sound of a throat clearing drags their attention away from glaring at each other. He looks confused, his head tilted and his mouth had fallen open just slightly, “Who is the naked guy?” He inquired casually and said naked guy, turns his nose up at him.

“I am Thumper, can’t you see?” He sneered.

“Thumper, be nice!”

Harry hums low, “I could have sworn Thumper was about 60 centimeters tall and also a rabbit.”

“I made that -- the potion thingy, to give the familiar a human form, remember? And I was going to cover it and wait until you got home so that we could try it but someone immediately went over and started eating it!” Y/N looked back over to Thumper who is still scowling, and this is around the time he would usually stomp his foot then hop away to a different room. Seeing as he can’t hop, he stomps his foot and storms out of the room instead, still clutching Oat to his chest.

When they were out of the room, Y/N turned to face Harry with a deep pout on her mouth. He chuckled warmly, opening his arms for her, and she crosses the room to him quickly. She buries her face in his neck (he smelled like cold air and pine needles) and melts into the hug, “You’re silly, d’ya know that?” He rubbed up and down her back in large circles, “You know Thumper never minds his business when you make something that looks edible. And can I be honest? I really didn’t expect him to look. . .”

“Cute?” Y/N fills in for him, and Harry hums in agreement, “Yeah, I always imagined him as a grumpy old sod in his 70s, so you can say I’m also a little shocked.”

He laughs again, only this time he slipped away from her, looping his fingers around her wrist, “C’mon,” he murmured, “Let’s go see what they’re up to before he burns the flat down out of spite.”

. . .

As always, for some reason or another, Thumper takes better to Harry despite literally being Y/N’s familiar. He eventually calms down but only because Harry offered him the whole bag of carrot chips in the fridge, and asks him what he would like to watch on TV. When he choose animal planet, both Y/N and Harry hold back a snicker so they wouldn’t piss him off all over again. And despite not being happy about it, he does put on the boxers Harry gives him.

And like always, while Y/N and Harry are snuggled together on the couch watching the telly and waiting out for Thumper to relax enough to stop grumbling and grousing about how much this form stinks. He was always grumpy for a time but then relaxed after a while and usually crawled his way into Y/N or Harry’s lap to sleep. They figured he would alter it some since now he was about 160lbs at 6ft, but Thumper was not one to conform to anything with others in mind. If he wanted in a lap, he was getting in a lap, which is how Harry and Y/N both ended up with him stretched out across their thighs with his head resting on the couch pillow.

It was odd, but objectively, weirder things had happened.

He told them Oat didn’t want to be a human and kept her cuddled against him so he could “protect her from you rotten humans” and they both allowed it to happen, so she was snuggled up too. It was just a big cuddle pile, much how they usually are only with more human legs and arms than usual. Ultimately, he did calm down enough that they could pick his brain a little bit, and learn more about him than what was usually permitted between he and Y/N’s thought transference. Even then, at his calmest, it was like pulling teeth to get much of anything out of him.

“How long have you been around?”

“A very long time.”

“Well, yeah, but in years --”

“Many years.”

Y/N sighed, and Harry would squeeze her shoulder, chewing hard on his lip to stop himself from giggling, “Alright,” she continued, “Where were you born?”

“Earth.”

“Thumper,” Harry plucked Oat up from where she’d been sitting on his shoulder, “Oat wants to know too, she said! You wouldn’t keep her from knowing, would you?”

Thumper, whose eyes had been closed (they were completely black, which was a little startling to say the least, but nobody brings it up), blinks one of them open and peeks over at Oat who is looking at him with her head tilted. With a small huff, he readjusted himself, closing his eyes once more, “I have been around for 980 years,” he answered, and a small smile twitches at his mouth when they both gasp, “I was born in the Netherlands, and my first owner called me Finn. I hate this name, but she was not a witch and often fed me many good plants from her garden, so I suffered through it.”

Under the guise of Oat wanting to know, Thumper tells them plenty about himself, and it becomes quite clear why he was such a grumpy guy. He’d been around for years upon years and constantly switched owners, more often than not because they did something to upset him. Sometimes they would forget about him, sometimes they would step on his paw, other times they would call him mean names, and the worst of it -- they would punish him for nibbling on things. “I always wait for you to do something to upset me, but you have done nothing yet.”

“Shouldn’t you give me the benefit of the doubt at this point?” She patted at his full belly and he swatted her hand, “You did come to my doorstep didn’t you? S’not even like I stole you from the woods.”

“I smelled fresh fruit and plants, how was I to know I’d find a gardening witch? The imprinting was unintentional!”

Y/N pouted, Harry tugged her closer to him though and traced looping patterns into her arm, “You know he loves you,” Harry tells her, then takes a turn to poke at Thumper’s belly -- he swats him away too which makes Y/N feel a little better, “Oat tells me all the time how much nice stuff he says about you. He even comforts you when you’re sad! I think this grumpy stuff is all an act.”

Thumper’s brows furrow but he does not deny it, instead, he crosses his arms and turns his face away.

She smiles.

He eventually changes back after five hours and it was while they all had fallen asleep. One moment there was a very heavy presence with their arms circled around Y/N’s waist, with their head on her belly -- the next there’s a furry little body sat in her lap. He curled up in a tighter ball and snuggled nearer -- he didn’t even nip her when she pulled him up to sleep in her arms. Y/N maneuvers them both, and in doing so stirs Harry, who accommodates her. Her back to his chest, his arm flopped over her body, Thumper in her arms, and Oat sleeping at the top of Harry’s head.

Y/N wonders how she ever got to sleep without being like this.

#BLURBS

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years ago

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okay so i’ve been lurking your acc and i love all your stuff and i was wondering if i could get your opinion on smth! i’m a rlly tall, rlly thin (flat) girl (almost 5’11 now but i could end up like 6ft idk) and am super insecure about my height and want to know what hq boy you think would like a tall gf? preferably not in like a dommy mommy way lol just like thinks it’s pretty and won’t see me as less feminine for it ykk

if you can answer this thank u sm!! if not that’s totally cool ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hello my love! Ooo good question, i feel like most of our hq boys wouldn't mind because they are most likely still gonna be taller 😅 however here's my thoughts on some of them

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS! NONE OF THIS TO MY KNOWLEDGE IS CANON

Bokuto- Bo definitely would not care how tall you are. He loves you for you and not for your height

Aran- This man not only doesn't care about your height, but also doesn't think your height makes you look any less feminine

Iwaizumi- i take iwa as the kinda guy that thinks tall girls are beautiful for sure 😌 he will also fuck up anyone that tells you otherwise 👍

Tendo- Tendo actually has more of a preference towards taller women! He is your constant hype man and will simply not allow you to be insecure about something so beautiful to him ❤️

Lev- Lev would love a tall gf! He thinks you're absolutely stunning and would often compare you to models (in a positive way ofc)

Nishinoya- He's accepted the fact that his future partner is gonna be taller than he is but honestly he's not mad! He finds taller girls very attractive 😚

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natromanxoff · 3 years ago

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19 - The Dynamic Duo V Montreux

Hello folks. I was sitting around twiddling my thumbs and I thought I would give the old hard drive a clean up, so before I dump a load of rubbish I thought I'd better answer these before I throw everything in the recycle bin. Let's start with a lady from New Jersey who goes by the name of Dorothy who gave me a very interesting offer for the next time I'm in New York. If you're reading this Dorothy, could you send Jacky your email address so I can reply to you. I've just opened up a "secret" Hotmail account so I can send replies without pestering the lovely Mrs Smith all the time, and to test it I went to the guestbook and picked a few names at random. Maybe I should reply to the irate drummer, but if I do that he'll just reply to me and the girls in the office will miss out on laughing at him as well. Staying with the skin bashers for a mo, Ron Hansen in Madison is a drummer, and said he liked my jokes and reckons Mr Irate uses three sticks, two in his hands and one up his arse (his words not mine). Would I be correct in saying your a Zep fan Ron? Today's question is, "What do you get if you cross a drummer with a roadie?" The answer is a stupid roadie.

Moving on, last time around I mentioned a drink which we consumed in Brazil, and the charming Sonia and Dina informed me it was called Caipirinha, and a pleasant little tipple it was to. Somewhere in Australia there is a lady called Karen who is listening to the Offspring CD non-stop, so I'm gonna have to try and answer her question as she has such great musical tastes, even though she wants to know the..........(flashing lights, fireworks, drum roll) Hoover Salesman Story. ARGHHHH. Its actually a very short tale, and I think it's quiet boring but it seems to have grown in stature over the years, and as always I'm gonna drag it out and start from the first skiing expedition that I ventured on with RT.

Having checked my trendy little biog mag, I reckon the year is 1980, and the dynamic duo are in Montreux putting the finishing touches to Fun in Space and we have a few days off before a tour starts in Zurich when Rog says, "Let's go skiing." He had skied a few times before and was ok at it, but I had never put a pair of skis on in my life. I said, "Lets go, but you ski and I'll just get pissed." He then went on about what a buzz it is and how I would love it, etc. As we were touring soon our American crew had to fly out, so I called up Jim Devenney and told him to come over a couple of days earlier cause we were gonna ski. Jim is a great skier and was on the first flight available and I picked him up at Geneva airport ready for some fun. That night we hit the town and have too many drinks and Rog goes off to bed semi early, while Jim and myself sat out on the jetty of Duckingham Palace with a ghetto blaster, Derek and Clive tapes, and a vat of wine singing disgusting songs at full blast, which must have echoed over to France. Suddenly we hear a French voice screaming at us and we have no idea what he was saying so we carried on goofing around, and the next thing I hear is a huge splash as Devenney falls in.

Let me assure you that a drunk trying to get a drunk out of Lake Geneva is not an easy task, but we succeed and head back to DP and retire to our rooms. I'd just got into bed when I hear a crash and go to investigate, only to find JD had gone in the wrong room and was trying to get into a baby's cot, and getting him out of there was harder than getting him of the lake.

Next day Roger, Dave Richards, his wife Collette, Jim and myself set off to Zermatt, and on arrival we stock up on skis, passes and other skiing paraphernalia (big words now!) Dinner, drinks and off to bed. Next morning we're up and ready to go, and thinking I'll never ski again after this I refuse to waste money on a ski suit, so I wear jeans. My second wrong move, the first was agreeing to go. The hotel owner wouldn't let us leave the hotel without first drinking a couple of Sambuccas, not my idea of a good breakfast, eggs, bacon, tea, toast and Italian liqueurs, but who are we to refuse. Next I've got to try and walk in those godamn boots, and we eventually arrive at the top of the Matterhorn.

The OK skiers, RT and Dave set off on their own, Collette begins a very slow trip down while JD tells me he'll stay and teach me. On go the skis, and down I go, flat on my arse. Up I get and I'm off, for all of about 2ft before I'm down again. This is not any fun. After a couple more tumbles my great mate Jim said, "If you're gonna f*** around I'm going." And thats the last I saw of him all day. Thanks pal. I'm standing there watching people ski and think, "It can't be that hard. If you stand like this, lean like that, you can ski." So I stand and lean in the correct positions and I'm away, screeching down a mountain with only one very small problem, I have no idea how to turn or stop, so as I'm flying past Collette, and she reckons I looked very worried, I yelled for some advice and all she said was, "DIVE." Sound advice, so thats what I do, and by now I'm getting wet. I wait for her and then we set off together, the blind leading the blind, with me diving at the slightest bit of speed or bend in the piste. A million years later we eventually reach the bottom of this awful slope and it's finally over. Wrong. Theres a T-bar to get on so we wait in line till it's our turn. You're supposed to put the bar just under your bum and it drags you up, but I'm 6ft and Collettes about 5ft 5in, so the bar was either in the middle of her back or around my knees, and no one told me not to sit on the f***ing thing and we bounced around for a while until we fell off. I'm now getting really pissed off with all this, "Get me a helicopter," I demanded from Collete. She told me they don't just send them, you have to be hurt. I replied with, "I'll break my f***ing arm but I've gotta get off this mountain." Realising I'm not getting a copter I light a ciggie and ponder.

We agree to split up and go with someone our own height, so I ended up with a great German guy who was really helpful. Once on the T-bar I can see that it goes way up and I would have to ski back down to base camp, and in case you've forgotten, I can't ski, so I said that I was gonna bail out, and jumped off. I then head of in a straight line to the cable car, skis on the shoulder and wading through 3ft of snow in a pair of very heavy and very cold jeans. What seemed like hours of wading I make civilisation and head to the bar for a triple strength coffee and a triple scotch while everyone gawked at me cause I looked like I had a shower fully clothed. Yeah, I wanna do this again.

Dinner that night was great fun for the others cause they got to take the piss out of me. Their day will come. The rest of the nights activities shall remain sealed away, but a good time was had by one and all. The tour went smoothly and I try and put Zermatt behind me, except Collette, still to this day, takes great delight in telling everyone about it, and everytime she says it she makes me look more and more pathetic.

The next winter appears and I'm at home and the phone rings, "CT, wanna go skiing?" To which my reply was nothing like, "Oh I'd love to you fabulous little drummer boy." I can't believe he talked me into it again, but this time we were gonna do things correctly and go to Aviemore in Scotland and take lessons, this was the saving factor in his plan. So once again we pile into the Range Rover and aim north. We split the driving (for a change) and had a good journey up through the snow covered mountains till we get to the resort. A usual night was on the cards, dinner, drinks and bed, then up bright and early for some lessons and a good day on the slopes. This time we've both got the correct outfits so we head off to where our little group of idiot skiers are. We're all standing in a line, with Rog and me at the end, and each person gets to snow-plough a few feet. These clowns have less idea than my first try, and it's also incredibly cold and we've now got icicles hanging off our hair. It's our turn and we both look like olympic champions, but the only thing wrong with getting it right the first time is that the instructor then turns his attentions back to the start of the line. Here I am once again standing on the top of a mountain, freezing cold with two 'things' stuck on the end of a pair of stupid boots, and I inform His Royal Highness that the next trip away involves sand and sun, no excuses, end of argument. RT agreed that this wasn't much fun and thought my idea worth considering.

We finally heard the two magic words, "Lunch Break." We're gone in search of some good HOT food and a nice beaujolais, and we found both. We also found that the hotel bar had an amazing selection of whisky, and we had to try as many as possible. We're now semi pissed and decide that as we're warm we might as well go back to this lesson even though we are very late, and the instructor looked at us and said, "Where have you two been?" Rog came back with "Trying lots of your wonderful scotch's." He was fine with that answer and we carried on trying to learn something, and would you believe by the end of the day I could actually turn and stop.

Back to the hotel for a nap before dinner. Over a very nice meal and a couple of little drinkettes we agree that it's far to cold here and we'll clear off the next day, so into the bar we go with our earlier mission of trying all the scotch's. We were sitting at a table chatting away and cracking jokes with each other and end up talking to the couple on the next table, swapping skiing stories, needless to say mine were very short, and having a bit of a laugh, when the woman said, "What do you two do for a living?" God knows why, but I said; "We're Hoover salesmen." At first they didn't believe us but we both started going on about the difference between domestic and industrial cleaners, uprights, backpack types, ones you pull along the floor. We went on about the different wattage, suction power, the amount of pressure on Axminsters and Wilton carpets, even a couple of car expressions like overhead this and thats. What the hell do we know about vacuum cleaners? But boy are we good at this. After about 30 mins of utter bullshit the subject finally changed and they wished us all the best with our door to door salesmanship and off they went to bed. We then had to reassure each other what we actually did for a living, had some more drinks and tried to work out how we knew so much about cleaners as both of us have spent most of our lives trying to stay well away from them. We spent the drive back to London having a good laugh about the one day we spent in a Scottish ski resort.

Well that's it folks, the story of a small company, R & C Taylor,..... Hoover Salesmen. I did learn to ski quite well, and whilst in Gstadd doing the Shove it album Spike flew out cause he fancied learning to ski, and the fool asked me to teach him. I wasn't much help because everytime he fell over I burst out laughing cause I kept seeing myself in Zermatt, and Spike looked just as worried and stupid as I did.

Before I go I noticed that Jacky had to get her boiler fixed and said for me not to make a comment, but little things like that spark me off and I remembered that when we were recording in the Townhouse Studios I had a little, no a big affair with the studio chef. Every three months Virgin would do a magazine for all their staff, written by all the heads of various departments, airlines, studios, video, shops, films, etc. and they would say what was going on with their particular section. Alan Douglas, who was chief engineer of all Virgin studios wrote who was recording where, and he wrote, "Queen are in studio 4, and Crystal, their main man is stoking the kitchen boiler." I thought that was hilarious, but Jane went ballistic. That's it for now.

Loadsa luv Crystal (Carpet cleaner to the stars)

#oh i suppose i forgot to queue this!#queen #queen band #roger taylor #roger meddows taylor #spike edney #crystal taylor #crystal's tales

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years ago

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Yay match ups!

I am and introvert! I do enjoy people but too much interaction makes me shut down-and big crowds make me anxious as heck (.-. I even have a hard time with Walmart) so I usually avoid them. I like small intimate gatherings with people I know or at least have some shared interest. But I especially love quality time with and S/O and of course my alone time to recharge. As far as personality goes: think of me as a house cat. I love being with, around, and interacting with the people I love, but when I need my time I go off and hide to recharge. Most of the time I’m chill and friendly, but I do have random moments of sporadic energy and silliness will ensue. And yes if I’m annoyed or mad at you I do get snippy and may not talk to you for a bit.

My hobbies include: collecting (I consider myself a curator), cooking/baking (I like to cook for loved ones and friends and to experiment with new flavors), reading (I have a huge personal library), writing (I have shelves filled with idea and story notebooks), singing, dancing, and bit of this and that and everything else :)

It takes a lot to get to me but there are a few things that get under my skin: not letting me help/take care of you: basically an S/O who insists on doing everything on their own and taking care of me. If I care about you, at least let me cook for you, massage you, listen to you rant about a bad day or stupid people, comfort you.

I also have a hard time being interrupted/spoken over/ not listened to/disregarded. Please just let me finish what I’m saying and THEN argue your point!

Deal breakers would be: trying to be physical/sexual too early in the relationship. I’m very slow to physical touch and I have had a past of bad experiences to put it modestly. If and when I trust you enough to touch you, I will initiate it (of course I’ll ask if it’s ok). Also, them not wanting/wanting me to spend time with my family. My family is my everything! If you become mine, you are absorbed into my family and that’s how it goes. (Ps: trust me you’ll love my mom ;) )

I’ve always been attracted to passionate, smart/clever men. When I say passionate, I mean they have a love for what they do; be it a hobby or a side job or their main job. I also like a man that has dreams and goals but just continue to dream about them. He works hard and goes after that dream and makes it happen. And yes I love them sharp! Book smarts are impressive, street smarts are amazing, but a man with both is phenomenal! I also love a man who takes pride in his appearance and how he presents himself. What can I say? I like them sharp in dress and in mind!

My strengths: I love helping/teaching people in all areas of life (I’m a teacher it’s my thing!). I am loyal to a fault (you hurt my friends or family, I will find a way to hurt you ._.), I am (mostly) optimistic, I am very open and willing to accept almost anything if you explain it to me.

My weaknesses: I overthink EVERYTHING! I have a tendency to shut down and shut people out when I’m mad/sad/scared instead of talking things out or even defending myself (I’m getting much better). I either care or I don’t-there is no in between! Everyday I deal with and combat differing amounts of anxiety and depression on a day to day basis. Most days I win, Some days I don’t. I don’t know if it’s a weakness but, I have a specific diet that I eat because of health and allergies but I don’t like to impose it on anyone.

Physical description: 5’9 on my flat feet, 5’10 in my regular shoes and 5’11-6ft in heels. Just above shoulder length Dirty blonde hair with light blonde highlights.Blue/grey eyes that reflect color. Glasses are a must for me to see. I have a chubby/average build. Best attribute: legs for days and thighs that don’t quit! Oh and apparently a smile that lights up a room (with a dimple).

Ok, so it was a tie between two guys. And the winner of the coin toss was……. SANS!

Congratulations! You won the tumblr sexy man!!

Fun fact, sans is the most extroverted introvert you’ll ever meet. He’s always been good at charming people but in reality he’d be perfectly happy with just a handful of family and close friends. Nothing else. So he understands perfectly how you feel. Plus sans is the definition of no pressure when it comes to relationships. He’s fine taking things slow

He’s also humble enough to let you take care of him occasionally. That bit you put in actually knocked a lot of guys out. I had no idea how many of my boys were prideful mother hens until now lol. Just let him return the favor though. His love language is acts of service, so sans will want to do little things for you as well

So I heard you like brainy guys? Well sans is very brainy. In fact he’s a genius. He’s only bested by Pluto and G, and it’s a close competition. Not very many people are willing to listen to him geek out about science, so if you do, you’ll get to see him go starry eyed.

Here’s a secret, sans will totally be a goof and dance around in the kitchen with you. But no one must ever know. If papyrus finds out, he’ll try and drag sans into exercising with him again lol

The only thing sans doesn’t fit is the presentation lol. He’s a casual guy all the way and does the bare minimum when it comes to dressing up for work. He won’t care if you mess around with his closet as long as the clothes are comfortable

Green was the other guy tied with sans

#undertale #matchups

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grandinventor · 4 years ago

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At the risk of sounding like a Jindosh apologist here (I am.) I will preface that Jindosh is a bad guy, he has either killed people personally or got them killed for experiment purposes by his Clockworks and has dissected the dead so he is not good, he is a villain, I acknowledge that.

Now with that out of the way I wanna criticize the narrative surrounding him and his mansion and how it sometimes falls flat on it’s face trying to demonize them thanks to a lot of points my friend @divaythfyr brought up. I’ll put all of that below the cut:

Yesterday I was told this line and I won’t lie it is...bad. Line in question:

Billie: "His home is supposed to be full of marvels. Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal. Kids, even. People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help."

But because I couldn’t live with the idea that he kills children you know the simplest villain demonization tactic in writing history (kick the puppy, kick the child whatever) and I think it’s pretty cheap to try and make him worse than Sokolov, I talked to the Jindosh apologist committee and thot about it so I’ll go over this line by line.

1. "His home is supposed to be full of marvels.“ - Okay but isn’t his home also supposed to be scary? Isn’t the whole “Why would anyone build a scary mansion like this?” line from Emily/Corvo as they enter supposed to tell us that this is a scary place? Which is funny because in reality the mansion itself isn’t scary at all, in fact it’s extremely logical in the way it unfolds and exposes the rooms. It’s perfectly functional and as someone with a major in architecture, I can say it’s the best designed house in terms of organization in the game. There is no way to die in the mansion unless the Clockwork Soldiers and the guards get you - which goes for literally any important/rich person’s house? You walk in someone’s house uninvited and their guards get you. You can die if you get behind the walls but it’s extremely difficult to do so especially in the places where you can get squished. The house itself is completely harmless. So the whole idea from Jindosh’s end that it’s a maze is stupid on it’s own too, the house is perfectly logical and Stilton’s manor is an actual maze because I got lost 10 times in there.

2. “Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal.“ - okay first part is correct people go in his house to either steal, test their skills or kill him. He says as much himself. He says fabled thieves and assassins died there. Again probably from his guards and Clockworks since you can’t die from the house in any rational way. And then he dragged them half dead or dead in his lab to dissect them. He has a fascination with watching people die because he is like evil and a villain like that. Which brings me to the next point which is:

There are only two ways to get in his mansion without powers. There is the bridge below which is broken and the railway which is guarded and has a Wall of Light on the other end. So how will anyone that is not prepared with a grappling hook or some kind of way to close this gap gonna get in? How is your random average person gonna go in? And most importantly why? Do people just walk in aristocrat’s houses and expect not to get out in a body bag or?

Besides he has a) a lot of free food and drinks in the lobby which is his threshold as to how far you are allowed to go so if someone wanted food they can just walk in and take it and leave (after you know, scaling a mountain for whatever reason because there aren’t easier houses to steal from) and b) he has an audiograph, because I am sure he assumes people can’t read, which tells you “Do not enter or you will die and I will dissect your remains and this is a promise.” Like why add a warning if you wanna lure people in? Unless those people think they can outsmart him so they come with intent and not just because they need food/shelter. Also he has food right next to that audio.

3. “Kids, even.“ - okay this one, the scary line. I won’t lie this made me uncomfortable. So like if we assume that normal people can enter by normal means (which in point 2 is clear they can’t unless further elaborated by the game on How? and Why?), a child going in as a dare and dying is possible. Billie after this line goes on to say that she saw a child dare his brother to touch the wall of light which vaporized the child, so the implication is possible. It’s possible a child went in his mansion as a dare and bad things unfolded. It’s also equally possible that it didn’t. We know of adult men dying because we see the bodies. For this one is just a rumor. You can take it either way depending on how you feel about Jindosh. It’s very unlikely a child would get this far though, unless this was some kind of Disney movie. Also Jindosh wouldn’t personally have a reason to kill a child you know, like I know it’s the easiest “this villain is super evil!!!!” writing tactic, but he had a pretty shitty childhood, he felt hated by his mother and probably wasn’t treated so nicely by his (bastard) brother. He likes to exercise his lack of control during his younger years by having control over other people through his house and toying with them. He is very childish in a sense too (with his toy house and toy soldiers), and because of all of this I truly don’t think he would kill a child. He wants a real challenge and to test out his machines and his house against the best and smartest Karnaca can offer, not children. Though my opinion here can be highly biased.

Also many children can casually pull 6ft tall levers I’m sure--

4. “People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help." - we know people have died in the mansion and they have been crying for release, as he says so himself. But again the above points kind of challenge as to who these people that died inside were. However because you know I’ve been playing with his mansion for four years cause I am a dumb hoe, I can say that there are very little windows. In fact the majority of windows that aren’t blocked off by the cliff or the mechanisms are around his laboratory.

Now yes people could go there and bang on them sure. But they literally...face the lab and chances are no one is gonna hear you bang on that side. The other windows not facing the lab are in the foyer where...you are allowed to be and nothing is gonna happen to you.

And the windows that actually face a side where let’s say someone could hear if someone was banging are the windows on the front of the house. Only the thing is, there are no windows on the front of the house except in the foyer.

Here are the buildings from across his mansion which I guess can maybe hear if someone was banging on the windows. But again no windows on the front of the house.

The fake windows is where the mechanism for the ceiling over the gallery in the upper hall is. The one that kinda extends and unfolds from there. So isn’t entirely possible that the banging and screaming or whatever people heard is just...the mechanisms of his house? The scary evil child killing house? Which is actually moving and making a lot of noise at all times?

So in conclusion? Yes, Jindosh is bad, he has no regard to human life, he divides society as innocent bystanders and criminals. He does dream of an army of Clockwork Soldiers to eradicate all crime. Be, he isn’t a senseless killer, it’s his neutrality and fascination with death as well as his black and white thinking that makes him dangerous. He doesn’t see people as human. In the majority of cases we know of (except one for some reason? That cursed baker who got his brain fried why did you have to do that Jindosh!?) he experiments on people who he deems criminals without sympathy. Also in situations where he thinks it’s justified - breaking in to steal from him or hurt him, the Blade Verbena, prisoners that can actually provide a learning experience for his Clockworks and Sokolov. He doesn’t go kidnapping people off the streets to experiment on them.

And despite his evilness being completely logical, the whole game tries to paint his mansion as this big puzzle and trap when in reality it’s...really just a house. The level design is beautiful and amazing but I think it doesn’t really carry the point as strongly simply because it’s not any more dangerous than any other mission and it’s just more fun when it comes to gameplay. The design is great but it never gave me the feeling of it being a horror house. So I think that demonizing Jindosh through hearsay instead of through his actual mission is a bit of a weird choice. A lot of things don’t reflect how evil he is, but not in the good way of “The Grand Inventor doesn’t seem evil but he is.” and instead you get it hammered how evil he is from the start without actually ever experiencing a climax of his evilness you wouldn’t expect. It’s not that every story should have a twist, but usually when you say someone is evil, you either make them good at the end or even more evil. Jindosh never has that climax, he is the same start to finish and that is... mildly annoying and slightly threatening. Like his level is pretty but not scary and they keep trying to convince you it’s scary which makes it weird which I guess is because if you listen to a lot of his unused lines and old concept art, he was supposed to be this stereotypical mad scientist but in the end they changed his visual design and lines so much he comes off as lukewarm. I understand what they tried to do with Jindosh but I feel like they failed to do it and had to rely on everyone saying he is super irredeemably evil to justify lobotomizing him.

Anyway this post is too long, sorry if the read more doesn’t go through somewhere and please feel free to counter my points I am open to different and non biased views (or even information I might not know because I haven’t read the books or found everything).

#kirin jindosh #me putting this with full confidence in the tag #i hope i dont wake up to anything bad

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askmyboys · 3 years ago

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Circus Mafia

Here’s my latest characters that I am EXTREMELY proud of, god tho it was h e l l trying to finish making them bc i forgot like,, two of them in the process and had to go back- Uhh I guess bc it’s a mafia there’s mentions of death/violence but that’s about it!

I’ll put a keep reading on it just bc its kinda a lengthy post so yeye

| Names: Wallace Gallagher, Chester York, Dewey Bullock, Eric Fletcher, Grant Davenport, and Henry Barton

| Nicknames/Titles: Wally/Gear (The Ringmaster), He hates it but Yorky is a nickname (The Magician), Dew/Dewdrop (The Juggler), Eri/Fletch (The Acrobat), Dave (The Tightrope Walker/The Trapeze Artist), and finally Hen/Bart (The Clown/The Strongman)

| Genders: Wallace goes by He/It, Chester goes by He/Him, Dewey goes by all pronouns, Eric goes by He/They, Grant goes by He/They/It, and Henry also just goes by He/Him

| Ages: Unknown (I am NOT doing all the math that’d probs be involved with these dudes fuck that)

| Heights: Wallace is 6’7”, Chester is 5’9”, Dewey is 5’6”, Eric is 5’3”. Grant is 6ft, and finally Henry is 5’8”

| Hair Colors: Wallace has long stringy hair he usually keeps in a ponytail (his hair is a bubblegum pink color), Chester’s hair is a Cobalt Blue color (his hair is usually in a man bun), Dewey’s hair is a Tiger Orange color (his hair is a curly undercut), Eric’s hair is Black and it’s a short quiff, Grant’s hair is a Dark Brown and slicked back, and finally Henry’s hair is a Tortilla Brown color (His hairstyle is a Pushed Back Long one)

| Eye Colors: Wallace’s eyes are a light pastel pink color (he’s got a slash over his right eye but he seems to still be able to see out of it), Chester’s eyes are a Gunmetal Blue color, Dewey’s eyes are a light pastel green, Eric’s eyes are a hazel color, Grant’s eyes are Dark Brown, and Henry’s eyes are a dull gray color.

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Wallace is tall and lanky as hell p much and he’s pretty pale, Chester’s kinda average p much and he’s more so tan, same goes for Grant actually except he looks a bit more muscular than Chester does, Dewey and Eric are kinda pale as well (Eric being a bit more paler than Dewey) and both of them are chubby, and finally Henry who looks a bit stronger than even Grant (nothing TOO weird ofc) is also pale.

| Appearances: Oh god here we go… Wallace is first up- He’s got the typical Ringmaster outfit EXCEPT his is Pink and White instead of the typical red/black/white you see, even down to his boots are pink (his boots btw kinda go up his legs and they have a heeled part on em), he wears pink leather gloves and has a pink top hat as well! He also has a handlebar mustache (he dyed it to match his hair, got a bit of Wilford Energy dont he? Lmao) he also has a lot of scars on his body (Their most prominent scars are: Wallace’s is over his eye and a bullet wound that got WAY too close to his heart, Chester’s scarring is around his neck, his chest and ESPECIALLY his back area, the neck looks like a few cuts but nothing deep enough to be fatal, the chest has some deeper scarring and longer ones, and his back looked like it was caused by a whip

Dewey’s scars are a bit all over the place nothing prominent there, Eric’s scars are the same just sporadic and all over the place but he has a few similar markings to Chester’s on his back (not AS many tho), Grant doesn’t have as many scars surprisingly just a few here and there but they don’t look too serious, and finally Henry has prominent scars over his belly, his back, and his legs they look like a mixture of potentially fatal had they not been looked at and non-fatal)

Chester’s outfit is a white suit vest that has dark blue stripes going down it, he wears a dark blue collared shirt underneath the suit vest and he also has a long black cloak (it has a hood on it but he only puts it on in certain situations), he has dark blue pants that match and he seems to wear combat boots that match said outfit, he also has some silk gloves that match as well, he wears a blue quartz crystal around his neck and he has a circle beard, he also has dark blue claw nails that also has little star designs over them. (he also has a dark blue bow tie!)

Dewey’s outfit is a mint green suit vest with a white collared shirt underneath it, he also has a mint green bow tie and he wears white pants as well and some sneakers with mint green stripes going across them, he wears mint green rose earrings (it was a gift that Chester gave to Eric so the boy could give it to Dewey) and he’s cherished them ever since, he also wears gloves to match (it helps him out when juggling bc ouchie hard items hurt when they smack directly onto his bare hands) he doesn’t have a beard at all he babyfaced.

Eric’s outfit is white collared shirt with dark brown suspenders that are attached to the same colored pants, he also wears a dark brown flat cap (when he’s not performing or doing his job n such) he also has a dark brown bow tie he wears as well and his he wears dark brown sneakers as well he’s also babyfaced like Dewey is, he has a dark brown necklace with the same colored pendant on the end, it isn’t heart shaped but its round and definitely looks like a locket of some kind (he never wears it during performances in fear it’d get lost but he keeps it locked up in a secret box in his room, it was a gift from Dewey)

Grant’s outfit is a black suit jacket with a red collared shirt underneath it, he also has black pants to match said outfit and he has black and red oxford shoes and he also wears a black fedora (he looks more like the leader than Wally does tbh, then again him, Chester, and Henry ALWAYS get mistaken for the boss) he also has a long black tie he wears with the outfit btw! He has a Van Dyke type beard he also wears some rings on his fingers too hence why he looks SO much like the boss.

And finally… Henry’s outfit is well, it took a LOT of convincing but he actually wears a rainbow themed clown outfit, it's MUCH softer lighter colors (p much pastels) At first he 100% hated it but then every time an enemy came around… They laughed at him and ALWAYS underestimated him, it was always hilarious to kick their ass in said outfit, Wallace also told him just imagine his enemies having to explain to someone/their boss that they got their ass kicked by the clown! The CLOWN of all people! And Henry won’t deny, that idea grew on him so he eventually accepted it (the only thing he refused to wear really was the wig that was t o o much) and finally he has a short boxed beard!

| Personalities: Wallace is… EXTREMELY eccentric and unpredictable, there’s no true way to tell how he’s feeling or what mood he’s going to be in, he seems to bounce from mood to mood, feeling to feeling, emotion to emotion! Although it’s VERY rare to see him actually upset or angry (...Keep in mind, I said very rare, but it’s not… an IMPOSSIBLE scenario) he’s usually pretty cheerful, friendly, kind, and caring as can be! He’s a friend to those who won’t backstab him or betray him but a terrifying force to be reckoned with if you double cross him… He’s in a silly goofy mood a lot, but really, if I’m being honest, there definitely seems like there’s something… Unhinged there… Like something is not all together with him, but oh well! No time to unpack anything! If you need a helping hand he’s there to help! Just don’t double cross him and you won’t die! Don’t let his friendly and cute demeanor fool you, if he doesn’t send one of the others after you, then he’ll deal with you himself and honestly? He’s the WORST one to come after you… MUCH worse than the others.

Chester is cocky, confident, and arrogant at times- He’s EXTREMELY prideful in himself and k n o w s he’s all that and MUCH more~ He seems like he only cares for himself and thinks he’s the star and center of everything but oh no… He holds great admiration and respect for Wallace, he adores Dewey and Eric and helps them out a lot, he’s even overprotective of them actually- you mess with them you evoke papa bear and he WILL stomp you to death with his boots- He constantly pesters Grant and Henry, teasing them a LOT here and there, he makes it a game to mess with them as much as he can, heck he loves messing with his actual victims too, he loves to play the mind games and he’s much more sadistic and cruel than you see him with the other members of the circus, if it’s like someone who’s made friends with the others? ...Well he’ll be more tolerable but oh that won’t stop him from scaring them a little here and there but he won’t actually hurt them, it’s more so just him having fun.

Dewey is a sweet, kind, and loving soul- he looks like he couldn’t hurt a fly! But looks can always be deceiving you know… If he ABSOLUTELY needs to he will hurt or kill someone, if he’s ordered too he will do so- He’s actually mostly shy and anxious even around the other members of the circus but he trusts them a LOT more than anyone else, and he looks up to Wallace and Eric, speaking of Eric, he likes Eric a HELLA lot- he trusts them the MOST out of everyone here and you’ll find Dewey spends a lot more time with Eric than anyone else and he seems so much more open with the other, seems like he lets loose a lot more… And another thing to note, toward enemies he doesn’t torment or anything he just injures or kills them as quickly as possible so he’s a LOT more merciful than someone like Wallace or Chester or some of the others would be.

Eric is another sweet, kind, and loving soul- Also looks like he couldn’t hurt a fly but he can and would if he was told too- He doesn’t LIKE hurting or killing folks though at all, he considers himself much more cowardly than Dewey since Dewey seems like he can do it without any issues beforehand… Eric looks up to Dew a LOT just like the other looks up to him, Eric also looks up to Grant a lot as well even though he can be pretty intimidating to approach, he’s got a LOT more anxiety than Dewey seems to have and he doesn’t seem to have a lot of confidence in himself, he thinks he’s cowardly and sometimes it feels like he legit doesn’t even fit in here, why is such a coward like him in with a literal mafia?

He can barely kill/hurt anyone without almost breaking down p much (Wallace kinda knows this so he REALLY tries not to call upon Eric too much, not until they can sort out those issues, or well t r y too anyways)

Grant is hella cold, snarky, and honestly hot headed easily the MOST intimidating looking and speaking one outta the bunch, he hardly ever has a smile on his face and he’s mostly grumpy- hims a n g y lmao, he’s WAY more respectful when around Wallace however seeing as he’s the boss ...Grant is a bit jealous honestly and sometimes he maybe even wishes he could be leader but 1: He k n o w s better and 2: That’d make him extremely ungrateful for all Wally’s done for the others, Grant is surprisingly MUCH more warmer n kinder toward Eric, or well he tries to be but gosh that poor boy just seems so intimidated by him… He feels bad for Eric honestly, wishes the boy had a bit more confidence in himself, Grant tries to help him out but any time he approaches Eric the other seems to get pretty afraid, so he tries to be patient and wait for Eric to come to him, he respects Dewey for helping Eric out and he sees how happy the two are when together, it's a good thing… If anyone could help that boy out, it’s gotta be Dewey.

And finally… Henry, he’s pretty sarcastic, a bit cold and a bit hot headed, not, AS MUCH as Grant but still it does lead them into a lot of physical and verbal altercations with each other even then (They try not to do it around Dewey/Eric solely bc they dont wanna scare em, but also not around Wallace bc they really don’t wanna get in trouble or on his bad side…) Henry along with Grant do share solidarity with one thing! And that is their p u r e hatred for Chester! That’s one thing they have in common at least… He’s WAY more hot headed toward Chester but dear god who isn’t at this point? Toward enemies n such it’s like he’s a completely different man, he takes his jobs/tasks VERY seriously and he’s WAY more calm and collected- more so than Grant could ever be (I’ll just go ahead ALL the boys respect and or look up to Wallace in some way, he practically saved them tbh) I suppose another thing Henry shares in common with Grant and probs everyone at this point is he wishes Eric had more confidence in himself…

| Side Facts: Usually, whether it be by an injured one or even the dead bodies, an item is usually left behind as a warning- For Wallace it’s a bunch of lashings from his bullwhip (I wanna clarify, the ones with lash looking scars, Wallace would NEVER EVER hit them, he’d NEVER fucking hurt any of them which is why if one of the ones with similar scars are around, before he even d a r e s pull out the whip, he tells them to go on back to the tent, he doesn’t want them to see or hear that sound)

Chester MOSTLY leaves red roses behind (since that’s what people throw onto his stage when he’s finished performing), but he’ll leave VARIOUS other kinds of flowers as well (you’ll notice he’s very particular with each flower he leaves behind)

Dewey leaves behind whatever item he had been juggling (for example: a bowling pin, orange, balls, etc)

Even tho Eric isn’t called upon too often for his sake, he actually doesn’t leave anything behind.

Grant leaves nothing behind whatsoever, what he did to the victim alone is WARNING enough.

Henry leaves behind clown noses (he literally puts clown noses on the victims) and if he’s feeling generous enough he leaves some sarcastic little messages behind or just straight up taunting ones.

While they ARE a mafia, like I’ve said the circus part also plays a big role! They DO perform! Their circus moves from place to place, it never does stay in one spot and a BIG thing Wallace wants noted- they don’t include animals in their acts, they’d never put any kind of animal through that sorta stress and are HIGHKEY against Circuses that do use animals bc most times the animals are whipped and abused, so Wallace says none of that here!

They have had some rowdy rude customers like all businesses or events do ...But you know… They aren’t like most either, those customers were mm… I’d say when Wallace offered to have their complaint taken up, let’s just say those so called customers were never seen or heard from again (keep in mind, those weren’t valid complaints, it was basically karen type people so oofy)

Chester has once lured a victim backstage and he has a house of mirrors type situation, he once lured them back and slowly watched them struggle to try and get out of there, sometimes appearing on the mirrors to give them a fright, he’s probably driven some people to insanity with this tbh also, Chester made Wallace a necklace with an Obsidian pendant, Wallace cherishes this and thanks to Chester he knows the crystal symbolizes protection n stuff so that made him cherish it even more.

Their Circus, the tent, etc- I’ll be 100% honest with you, the fucking tent itself is pretty inhuman and fuckin unrealistic, like- SO many fucking things fit under that tent- its almost cartoonish how it works! The tent itself holds literally all their respective areas, from Chester’s stage right down to the area where the trapeze and tightrope acts are performed!

One thing I didn’t mention- Wallace seems to have two sets of fangs (I will say, he’s- he’s not a toon btw I mean, I won’t say if Wally is fully human or not but still) both top and bottom, Chester has cat-like fangs, Dewey/Eric don’t have fangs at all, Grant has some razor sharp teeth, and Henry just has normal lookin’ teeth.

One more thing! I already covered their pronouns up there so here’s their sexualities! Wallace is Pansexual, Chester is Bisexual, Dewey is Panromantic and Asexual, Eric is Gay and Asexual, Grant is more so Questioning rn as is Henry.

#original characters #my ocs #ocs #Circus Mafia #Wallace Gallagher #Chester York #Dewey Bullock #Eric Fletcher #Grant Davenport #Henry Barton #tw violence mentions #tw death mentions

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velvetv0nblack · 4 years ago

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An open letter;

(Possible trigger warning)

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, maybe because this theme of abuse has be something I’ve been experiencing as a third party, the person removing the victim this time, you know the role many of my friends filled within our tumultuous relationship... maybe it’s because my friends abuser is now threatening and harassing me for helpingher leave... maybe it’s because I’ve finally found my therapeutic dosage of lithium, am in a clear mind and are therefore able to reflect properly for the first time in my life... or maybe it’s because this is not an apology, I mean maybe it is if you had only been a serial cheat, but the truth is you fractured my skull and cut me open with a knife, so this is not a fucking apology. Also I’d rather rip my own eyes out of my skull, smash them with a hammer, and then inject the liquid into my ass than actually engage you in any kind of conversation, so knowing that this is the one platform you can still check for me on, I’m going to post this here... Its about time I had my say without putting myself in physical danger.

You would think I wouldn’t have an essay to correct your 3 lines of a nothing apology, but here we are I guess.

This kind of self deprecating “I wasn’t good enough for you” narrative is truly infuriating, and not because you were actually good enough for me but because of the very reasons you proved yourself not be “not good enough”. You weren’t undeserving of me because you didn’t work, I am physically incapable of doing so myself and I didn’t fall in love with you because you came across mad motivated. You weren’t undeserving of me because you took drugs, drank like a fish or smoked like a chimney, we were both purposefully killing our selves in the same way. You weren’t undeserving of me at all, until you fucked my best friend in the bathroom and collectively gaslit me into wondering if I was imagining the whole thing, and slowly but systematically broke down my confidence and support network away from me. I want this to be very clear; the reason you do not deserve me or any other decent human being is because, you are an abuser, you abuse people.

I was barely a whole person when I met you. I was barely an adult. I had lived through so much already, and had been abused in every area of my existence. I was easy pickings to you. The issue was you were not a pawn to me, a player in any game, or any of that. To me you were this fascinating, beautiful soul, to me you were someone who needed my love who needed someone to support you and I couldn’t believe that you chose me to fill that role. I was freshly 18 that month, and I had just had a flat mate steal £3k and kill my kitten.

I weighed all of 63lbs that night you lost the plot on me because I didn’t want to go to Big Red to watch that actual cunt of a waitress smile at me as she gave you lap dances, it’s not even a dance joint it was a fucking bar. You allowed other people to emotionally abuse me with you for months up until this point and I just didn’t want to go, all I wanted was the keys and I would of gone home alone and gone to bed. Why you feel the need to publicly humiliate me again instead of just leaving it? You couldn’t just go be adulterous without me watching and hurting, so you followed me home, screaming at me the whole time. You told me I was pathetic, you hated me, I should just kill myself- on a bus on a Saturday night, from the bar I worked in, in soho, back to our place near Caledonian Road. I was so unstable anyway, undiagnosed autism, misdiagnosed mental health issues, on the wrong if any medication, deep within the throws of an addiction and eating disorder... you. I couldn’t take you verbally ripping my heart out anymore when I decided that throwing myself from our 3rd story window would hurt less. The fact I could of died isn’t what made you grab me and stop me jumping, no in fact you told me you don’t care if I kill my self as long as it’s not in the flat, you were much more concerned with the amount of drugs in the flat and the prison opposite our window. At that point you threw me full pelt across the other side of the room, all 63lbs of me flew through the air like a paper aeroplane and smashed directly into your guitar. You know your beloved custom Les Paul? The headstock came off, and at that very moment despite the fact you were the one who threw me, my life was the one in danger. You started strangling me and threatening to have men come down to London to gang rape my then 14 year old sister. It gets a little fuzzy, that’s what your brain does when you experience potentially life ending trauma. I do know I ended up with stitches in my lips and hands, that you fractured my right eye socket- that I still suffer issues with to this day- and had black bruising covering my entire body like a bus had hit me.

For a couple of years there my brain completely blocked out important details of that night, and a lot of our relationship. Don’t worry though periodically I have the real type of flashback where I relive these events and I come back to reality remembering more than I ever wanted to. I’m yet to even touch on the fact that whilst I may of been able to escape you in waking life, my dreams are perpetually stuck in this horrific PTSD dream land, a town that is a mash up of all the places I’ve been traumatised in my life, the place you eternally reside inside my head to traumatise me whilst I desperately need to rest. You haven’t really left my life despite the efforts I have made to avoid you (I think I’ve seen you once, from a distance once at Download 2 years ago, my heart fell out my ass, and I dragged Camilla in another direction) I have only 2 dreams in 6 years that haven’t included you chasing me down to finish what you started and kill me or keep me captive. But that’s what trauma does, and oh how you traumatised me.

I really loved you though, that’s why I stayed, and those couple times I tried to leave before I came back. I loved you so unconditionally that it took me realising that everyone else around us was so complicit that they’d help you hide by body. To this very day I cannot believe a man, a male roommate, walked in on you pinning me into a sofa by my neck, with both your planted knees on top of my chest, full weight suffocating me, biting the end of my nose until it was blackened and he had the audacity me I needed to calm down. I have to label the guy the world biggest pussy in my head so I don’t get wound up about it.

I wasn’t perfect, I can never be perfect, I have more imperfections than most. I am severely mentally and physically unwell- I sure as hell am a pain in the ass to love- however I cannot actually think of a damn thing I did to deserve constant unending emotional abuse, threatens and follow through of physical abuse and then after I left stalking and harassment. I am difficult but I am not deserving of abuse and that’s all you gave me in the end... unless of course you “needed your baby girl to suck your dick” - that was the only time you were ever nice to me, and I know because I recently read back a bunch of our texts and you flipped between “I hate you, I’m gonna kill you/kill your self” to “I need my beautiful girl to come and suck my dick I love you so much” is actually fucking insane. - Should I bring up the fact you would bang pathetic girls on the scene and then dicknotise them into stalking and harassing me with you? Because... what I had the audacity to leave a man, of over 6ft tall, who would become violent to my 5ft 63lbs self?

So yeah, you didn’t deserve me, but not because of any self deprecating attention seeking reason but because you’re a sociopath, who seems to take pleasure in fucking with vulnerable women.

Am I happy? Now that’s a fucking difficult one to answer.

I ended up homeless on and off for a year. Despite the homelessness I had suffered before this was worse because of the place I was in mentally.

You caused me to develop complex PTSD.

You caused me to have a 3 year long psychotic break.

You caused me to live in secure supported housing, where I was prayed upon by other residents.

You caused me to fall victim to abuse within the system

Not sure if you know this but our mental health services sucks ass, after leaving you I had a delightful therapist that would text me telling to kill my self and would tell me you were right to abuse me.

But I got one thing from our relationship, I fine tuned my “four Fs” ...I no longer freeze or fight in the face of difficulty... I developed an ability to fawn.

Dead ends are no longer in my eyeline, I will metaphorically straight on walk through someone else’s house to get where I need to be, I will jump the fence, break the locks and out run any guard dog. I may fall down but I’m never out.

When I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and essentially lived in hospital for 3 years, even when I thought to end my life it was weighed out by the thought of “how do I get to a place we’re I can do even 5% of what I want? What do I have to change, manifest?”.

You see if you could only temporarily break me but not stop me then why the hell would I let my own mind and body do that? That ability to fawn came with an ability to find a middle path, to be diplomatic. That ability to fawn gave me the patience to understand medical text and use that to access the right care. ~ I am actually thinking of starting a medical degree just to prove I can ~ I am now 98lbs and healthy for my size and stature, I now have a home with a housing association who like me so much they have me a lifetime partner agreement, meaning I will never be homeless again. I have been clean 7 whole goddamn years and 2 months. I have the most beautiful empathic cat, 2 foster dogs and an incredibly patient partner, who has known me before you had ever entered my life. I am as healthy as someone in my position can be, I still struggle with the anorexic thoughts but I eat everyday of the fucking week now.

I am not “happy” as happy is an emotion and emotions are fleeting but I am content in living for the simple life I have fought ever so hard for. I am strong, and determined and constantly fucking working on making more for myself. I’m proud of myself.

All I have to say is get therapy. If you’re really sorry work on yourself enough to be able to apologise properly before you fuck my day up by rising your head again for this weakness. I can’t say I don’t have morbid curiosity, because that’s me all over, however I’m much more determined to keep all that I have work for mentally, emotionally, and physically safe. For that reason I would never in my right medicated mind talk it out with you, email you back or seek you out. I’m sorry, it is what it is.

You can not damage someone irreparably both mentally and physically and think “I’m sorry for being a cunt” even close to cuts it. You are mentally unbalanced, in a way not even I can relate to.

#what was the point #open letter to my abuser #its not 2014 anymore buddy

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kalluun-patangaroa · 5 years ago

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Waking up to a new morning...

The Observer, Sunday 15 September 2002

Written by Amy Raphael

After the booze, coke, crack and smack, Suede's Brett Anderson is back in the land of the living with renewed optimism and a new album

Brett Anderson grew up hanging around car parks, drinking lukewarm cans of Special Brew and taking acid. Occasionally, he caught the train from Hayward's Heath to Brighton, less than half an hour away, but still a world away. He would buy punk records and, perhaps, a Nagasaki Nightmare patch to sew on to his red ski jacket.

His mother, who died in 1989, was an aspiring artist; his father was mostly unemployed and obsessed with classical music. He wanted his son to be a classical pianist, but Brett had other ideas. Lost in suburban adolescence, he was drawn to the Smiths, to Morrissey's melancholic lyrics, his eccentric persona. He wanted to be a pop star; he would be a pop star. He had no doubt.

Anderson moved to London in the late 1980s, living in a small flat in Notting Hill. He studied architecture at the London School of Economics, but only while he got a band together. Here he met Justine Frischmann and, with old school friend Mat Osman, formed Suede in the early Nineties as an antidote to grunge and anodyne pop.

Anderson borrowed Bowie's Seventies glamour and a little of his Anthony Newley-style vocals. He looked to the Walker Brothers's extravagant, string-laden productions and appropriated Mick Jagger's sexual flamboyance for his stage show. Yet Suede were totally original, unlike anything else at the time. Dressed in secondhand suits and with casually held cigarettes as a prop, Anderson wanted to write pop songs with an edge; sleazy, druggy, urban vignettes which would sit uncomfortably in the saccharine-tinged charts.

Like his lyrics, Anderson was brash, cocky, confident. He talked of being 'a bisexual man who's never had a homosexual experience', realising it was an interesting quote, even if he knew he would probably always lose his heart to the prettiest of girls.

When I first met him, in the spring of 1993, Suede were enjoying their second year of press hysteria, of being endlessly hailed as the best new band in Britain. Fiddling with his Bryan Ferry fringe, Anderson asserted: 'I am a ridiculous fan of Suede. I do sit at home and listen to us. I do enjoy our music.'

He talked about performing 'Metal Mickey', the band's second single, on Top of the Pops. 'When I was growing up, Top of the Pops was the greatest thing, after tea on a Thursday night... brilliant! You get a ridiculous sense of history doing it. It was a milestone in my life; it somehow validated my life, which is pathetic really.'

By rights, Suede should have been not only the best band in Britain but also the biggest. Yet it did not happen that way. During the recording of the second album, the brilliant Dog Man Star, guitarist Bernard Butler walked out. It was as though Johnny Marr had left the Smiths before completing Meat Is Murder. The band could have given up, but they did not; they went on to make Coming Up, which went straight to the top of the album charts. Then, three years ago, disaster struck during the recording of Suede's fourth album, Head Music. Anderson was in trouble: the pale adolescent who had swigged Special Brew in desolate car parks was now a pop star addicted to crack.

Brett Anderson sits in a battered leather Sixties chair in the living-room of his four- storey west London home sipping a mug of black coffee. He has lived here for three or four years, moving into the street just as Peter Mandelson was moving out. The living-room is immaculate: books, CDs and records are neatly stacked on shelves, probably in alphabetical order.

Anderson's 6ft frame is as angular as ever but more toned than before, the detail of his muscles showing through a tight black T-shirt. Gone is the jumble-sale chic of the early Nineties; he now pops into Harvey Nichols.

He appears to have lost none of his self-assurance but, a decade on from his bold entrance into the world of pop, Anderson has mellowed, grown-up. By his own admission, he is still highly strung and admits he is probably as skinny as a 17-year-old at almost 35 because of nervous energy. But he no longer refuses to listen to new bands in case they are better than Suede; he praises the Streets, the Vines and the Flaming Lips.

This healthy, relaxed person who enjoys the odd mug of strong black coffee is a recent incarnation. At some point in the late Nineties, Anderson lost himself. He became part of one his songs and ended up a drug addict.

He talks about his new regime: swimming, eating well, hardly touching alcohol. No drugs. Did he give everything up at once? 'It was kind of gradual... giving up drugs is a strange thing, because you can't just do it straight away. You stop for a bit then it bleeds into your life again. It takes great willpower to stop suddenly.'

He sighs and looks into the distance. 'I got sick of it really. I felt as though I'd outgrown it. It wasn't something I kept wanting to put myself through and I was turning into an absolute tit. Incapable of having a relationship, incapable of going out and behaving like a normal human being. Constantly paranoid...'

The drug odyssey started with cocaine, but soon it was not enough. 'Cocaine is child's play. After a while, it didn't give me enough of a buzz, so I got into crack. I was a crack addict for ages, I was a smack addict for ages...'

Another deep sigh. 'It's part of my past, really. I'm not far enough away to be talking about it. It's only recently I've been able to say the word "crack".'

When Head Music was being recorded, he says he wasn't really there. He would turn up but his mind was not focused. The album went to number one but it was not up to Suede's standards; as Anderson acknowledges, it was 'flashy, bombastic; an extreme version of the band'.

He laughs, happier to talk about the good times. 'Last year, when I decided not to destroy myself any more, I kind of disappeared off to the countryside with a huge amount of books, a guitar and a typewriter... and wondered what the outcome would be.'

He spent six months alone. It was a revelation to discover that he could spend time by himself. 'I think a lot of people are shit scared of being on their own. Me too. From the age of 14 to 30, I jumped from bed to bed in fear of being alone. Being in the cottage in the middle in Surrey, I learned that if one day everything fucks up, I could actually go and live on my own. It's a total option.'

For a long time, Anderson had avoided reading books, worried that his lyric writing would be affected by other people's use of language. Last year, he decided it was time to fill his head with some new information. Although he had been told for years that his imagery was reminiscent of J.G. Ballard, he read the author for the first time in the cottage - and was flattered. He read Ian McEwan's back catalogue and challenging books such as Michel Houellebecq's Atomised.

Despite his self-imposed exile, it still took Anderson a long time to perfect Suede's fifth album, the self-consciously celebratory A New Morning. The band tried to make an 'electronic folk' album by working with producer Tony Hoffer, who had impressed with his work on Beck's Midnight Vultures. However, unable to make an understated album, they eventually called in their old friend Stephen Street, the Smiths producer.

Yet more trouble was ahead. Anderson says Suede have faced many 'big dramas' over the past decade - Frischmann left the band early on to form Elastica and soon after ended her relationship with Anderson, moving in with Britpop's golden boy, Damon Albarn; Bernard Butler walked out with little warning; the drugs took control - but still the band were not prepared for keyboard player Neil Codling's exit. He was forced to leave in the middle of recording A New Morning suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome.

Anderson says he was furious when Codling left.'He couldn't help it, I know, but I did feel aggrieved. I felt let down. But more at the universe than at Neil. I tend not to show how I feel about these things in public. It's like when Bernard first left, I was devastated. I felt as though that original line-up was really special. And we will never know what might have been.'

At times, Anderson sounds as though he has had an epiphany in the past year. He smiles. 'Well, you only need to listen to A New Morning to realise that. The title is very much a metaphor. It's a very optimistic record; the first single is called "Positivity", for God's sake. It's a talismanic song for the album. It's a good pop single, but we've haven't gone for a Disney kitsch, happy, clappy, neon thing.'

He looks serious for a moment. 'For me, the album is about the sense that you can only experience real happiness if you've experienced real sadness.'

Has he had therapy? His whole body shakes with a strange, high-pitched laughter. 'No! No! But I am happier now. I feel more comfortable with myself. I feel as though I'm due some happiness. I've just started going out with someone I really like. I've made an album which is intimate and warm. I don't any more have the need to be talked about constantly, that adolescent need for constant pampering...'

A swig of the lukewarm coffee and a wry smile. 'And, best of all, I don't feel like a troubled, paranoid tit any more.'

A New Morning is released on 30 September

#suede #brett anderson #press #interview #the observer #anm #2002

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whumpbby · 6 years ago

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If we're talking abt Girl!Jason here then let me share my headcanon. Jay when she died at fifteen was a short girl (Just like boy Jay, dude was 5ft and 97 pounds), a "late bloomer"and was Bruce's little girl who died in the Robin suit. When she comes back to gotham after her resurrection and time in the she's a 6ft bombshell and no one is sure how to handle that.

He came back tall and sturdy, and with a square jaw and flat chest, and arms that can carry his team in battleXD Listen, I am convinced that the boy Jason isn’t a very pretty fucker, and even more so about the girl Jay - she grew meaty and had her nose broken about 4 times already, and was punched in the face so many damn times that she finally invented the stupid helmet to protect the unfortunate nose - but for that she has to buzz her hair and it sucks, but it’s efficient, so there! :D

There’s not a lot of fat on her - she could never gain weight properly for a sweet ass or a pair of boobs, so the bum and boobage stay depressingly flat (Damn you, Dick Grayson for stealing all of the Ass-investment in that damn family, you don’t even need it you asshole!:O) And her hands are square and strong, and not very gracious, because of all the training and fighting she does mainly with her hands and, again, broken bones. Arthritis in the older age will be a complete bitch.

But she also has the most beautifully shaded blue/green eyes and a striking smile (Bruce cashed out for the good retainer when she was a teen and it shows;]), and long legs with thighs to balance the heavy top. She has surprisingly dainty feet.

Of course Talia taught her all kinds of feminine care, but Jay was too consumed with revenge to even remember that stuff, so it’s only when she spends time with Kori, she learns proper haircare (But handsoap works just as well to wash them? Why are you crying, Roy?) and how to trim her cuticles and that a moisturiser is good for you. Talia still sometime sends her a bottle of a scented body-oil from time to time (passive-aggressively, of course) for birthday and now Jay knows how to use it, yey.

Even Artemis was like, listen, little one, you can’t just leave your toenails in such a state, it will get in the way sooner or later.

#headcanon #Anonymous

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fivegoldpieces · 5 years ago

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okay let’s get this late liveblog post started

marisha and travis wearing those glasses while sitting right next to each other is honestly killing me right now please im so weak

what is this ad oh my god

SAD SANDPAPER

how the hell do they have time to do this im

LAURA BURSTING OUT LAUGHING AND MATT’S PERPLEXED FACE IS ME EVERY WEEK

HAPPY PRIDE HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

JESTER DISGUISING HERSELF AS A LEAF I LOVE HER SO GD MUCH

LEAF COSTUME IM LOSING MY MIND

rotting meat fjord, i don’t know how much that will help but okay

“can i like swim back to the tree” MARISHA THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID LAST CAMPAIGN TOO AND IT DIDN’T WORK

JESTER COULD HAVE GONE INVISIBLE IM FUCKNSKFL CRYING

Beau: “Everyone is fucking bailing on me, and I ain’t got shit”

Jester: “I’m a leaf! I’m a leaf but I’m still with you”

THE WAY IM FUCKING HOLLERING RIGHT NOW OH MY GODDD I LOVE. THEM!

MARISHA MIMING BEAU REACHING OUT TO JESTER IM AJLKDJALSJFSADF

beaujester held hands i am perFecTLY FINE this is FINE IM FINE this is okay im good im good imajfdklasjdfasjkfk HANDS

Fjord is a bottom Confirmed

DIMENSION DOOR IS BEAUJESTER SHIPPERS FRIEND

UGH THAT POLYMORPH COULDVE BEEN SO GOOD

FJORD RIDING THE ROC LIKE VM DID I THINK

YES JESTER POLYMORPH BUT ALSO OH NO FJORD

the image of 6ft caduceus holding onto an eagle is fuckn amazing

i have to say the sound of matt shaking the dice as fjord falls sounds ominous as fuck

YAY FJORD IS STILL ALIVE

caduceus talking to fjord on the ground reminds me of the skyrim scene for some reason

can beau saying “i follow jester” be a thing

jester saying sorry to fjord 😭

KEEP THE BAT AWAY DON’T TOUCH IT JUST PUT IT IN THE BAG OF HOLDING

beau and caleb going to the nest to get loot together hell yeah

AWW BABY ROC

BEAU TRYING TO SCRITCH THE BABY ROC LMFAOO

THE BALL BEARINGS RETURN LMFAO

oh damn that’s a lot of gold in a nest

beau getting the silk clothes for jester

“c’mon man get back in the cloak”

beau arguing with caleb as an eagle fucking sends

LMFAO LAURA HIT THE MIC

OH SHIT POLYMORPH DROPPED

omg bless that one spell slot

damn jester really loves using command

this tense atmosphere with the roc omfg

HUT COMPLETED

im not saying beau is married to jester now because of the rings but she definitely is

LMAO THE BOX IS TRAPPED THE ONE TIME NOTT DOESN’T CHECK FOR TRAPS

FIREBALL TRAP NOTT WHAT THE FUCK

nott is drunk i can tell

omg jester trying to snatch the flask and putting it into the haversack

beau proposed to yasha with that ring omg rights for beauyasha shippers

IM SORRY BUT MARISHA ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING WITH LIAM’S INJURED SHOULDER AS BEAU SENDS

LMFAO JESTER TRYING TO WINGMAN

omg beau and yasha are married ugh wlw rights

AH FUCK ORCS

HELL YEAH FIREBALL

i wonder how fjord feels about the orcs they’re fighting

FUCKING HELLO BEES GOD I LOVE JESTER

marisha really works those sunglasses ugh someone draw beau in them

their true rivals are toya and the roc

awww poor jester is exhausted

LET’S GO BAZOZZAN

i don’t trust that tower at all

o fuck it’s a xhorhasian hupperdook but without the fun civilians

persuasion checks scare the crap out of me ngl

“be quiet, do your work, and leave” honestly applies to a lot of places

beau, to jester: “you were pretty awesome actually”

me: fucking dead on the ground because of these two blue gfs

omg pls the leaf costume

things escape from the tower? a prison?

oh fuck temples to betrayer gods

DOORWAYS TO THE ABYSS??

this is some grey warden darkspawn shit omg

THE FUCKING DANCE MOVES

JESTER SMART TIEF LOVE HER

oh fuck THE ABYSS?? DEMONS

OH HELL OH HOW FUN

marion read jester a book about demons as a child lmfao

oh god what’s jester gonna do to that sign

bless on beau and fjord and jester ugh i love my og trio crumbs

ARE YOU STILL IN YOUR LEAF COSTUME

the traveler’s voice being described as disembodied honestly creeps me out

oban wan kenobi

omfg what is up with that incense lmao

oh the joys of haggling i cant do that lol

HOW MUCH MONEY DOES CAD HAVE

SHARE BEDS PLEASE

FLASK IS GONE AND NOTT IS FREAKING

omg not at nott thinking yasha did it

ok but nott and her alcoholism is gonna be the new spice

nott possibly fusing with frumpkin sends

i love cats ah

FJORD OPENING UP LET’S GO LET’S GO

let fjord and caduceus be goddess buddies

praying to the wildmother is literally a way to deal with anxiety attacks

fjord’s fixation on the fact that the dream with the wildmother felt good says a lot

SHUT UP HE’S ANXIOUS TO FEEL THAT GOOD AGAIN IM GONNA FUCKING SOB

mountain with no snow in front of a salt flat? oh my

god i fuckn love fjord and caduceus talking

it’s the fuckn ocean im gonna fucking cry im

HE GOES TO SLEEP VERY WELL THAT NIGHT IM LITERALLY GONNA SOB

omg let’s go three wlws bc bi/closeted lesbian jester is Real and no one can take that away from me

jester trying to wingman so hard lmfao

LMFAO YASHA STANDING OVER THEM

WAKEY

THE SCRY FAILED UGH

jester saying “that’s what i’m here for” rings a bell in my mind but i don’t know what exactly - something about her view of her worth in the group which would be interesting to explore

omg nott about to confront yasha

and fjord now oh and caduceus

TRAVIS JUST ENDED SAM’S CAREER HOLY FUCK

oh boy cold turkey is not gonna be fun

ANGRY YASHA OMFG

omg m9 please don’t enable the alcoholism

45 GOLD FOR FIRE WHISKEY OMG

maybe use that bottle to wean her off

everyone calls jester jessie now ugh thank you nott for starting it and beau for always using it

god i love brjeaus so much

SECRET TUNNELLLLL SECRET TUNNELLLLLL THROUGH THE MOUNTAINSSSSSS

lmfao fjord tryna be buff

oh god what is this sending gonna sound like

WHAT IF I JUST GO DDU DU DDU DU DDU DDU DDU

IM FUKVMKSNF LLOSING IT NO SHE DID IT IMF FJA

how is she supposed to look for the hidden entrance if it’s hidden

oh god they’re gonna go down the tunnel aren’t they

the way travis and marisha burst into song fuckn nerds

no plans we die like adventurers

YASHA HONEY YOU ARE NOT A FREAK

i can be a freak i can i can be a freak every day of every week

o fuck yea goggles are cool

SHE’S UNDERAGE LMFAOO

holy fuck 25 gold BUT HE DOES IT ANYWAY

fjord just one black coffee-ed nott lmfao

huh nothing for locate creature but locate object worked

FUCK YEAH CELESTIAL BUDS

uh “until the world ends”?? that does not sound good

FJORD JUST GOES IN DUDE

oban is floating i know

JESTER HOLDING YASHA’S HANDS

SHFSFIA THE FUKD FK AF JESTER TELLING YASHA THE M9 IS BEHIND HER AND WILL SUPPORT HER

WE CAN BE YOUR NEW ONE

hol on i need several moments

WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH YASHA NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

FUCKJFKSJFDAKJDF MY FUCKNS TEARS

oh? an idea?

ROCK HARP LMFAO

the way yasha prays to the stormlord is kind of endearing in a way to me

ashley is so nervous omg like travis was

TWO MILES???? THAT’S SO MUCH WALKING

this tunnel mad creepy i don’t like this

okay but i wonder if that tunnel collapsed because of someone

beau and jester keeping track of the wall ugh my crumb

MM I DON’T TRUST OBELISKS

OOOH SYMBOLS ON PAPER

omfg fjord you can’t just eldritch blast in a tunnel that’s had a cave in before just shake him

oh it’s abyssal? defaced by celestial creatures?

UH UH THAT SOUNDS FOREBODING

god they’re such musical nerds

oh boy they’re sending nott in i hope she doesn’t get hurt

angel sculptures?

UM WEEPING ANGELS NO THANKS

THEY’RE CRYING BLOOD? NOPE GET OUT GET OUT

NOTT NO OMFG

ugh cats should have darkvisio

oh my god this is so creepy it’s like 4am matthew please

BROKEN SWORD??

THEY’RE GOING IN FUCK

LMFAO NOTT SEARCHING YASHA’S POCKETS

this place is so gd creepy matt please end it oh my god

the music is not helping at all

TWO DAYS OLD?? UH NOPE NOPE NOPE

THIS SOME SACRIFICIAL SHIT

NUH UH THIS IS REMINDING ME OF THE WHITESTONE ARC AND ZIGGURATS FUCK THIS OMFG

DON’T FUCKING PULL THE SKELETON FJORD JFC

oh god the fact that the statues were sitting is even creepier

i really don’t like this omg it’s so creepy

DOES NO ONE HAVE DETECT GOOD AND EVIL

AH FUCK THE STATUES ARE MAGICAL TOO

oh god she touched it

oh god they both touched it

oh i really do not like this omfg

what if someone dragged a body in oh god this is terrifying

IT’S MUSIC

WAIT DOESN’T CELESTIAL SOUND LIKE SINGING

METAL HARP LMFAO

break one open lol

UH SHE’S STANDING IN FRONT OF THE DOOR H

oh geez they really are gonna go in

earthy rotten sulfuric smell does not sound good at all

“you guys know what to do” oh boy

oh three yashas are a dream

WELL HELL LMFAO

closing it off with yasha as annie amazing

UGH CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK

#cr spoilers #what an episode #also I swear this had a read more #mobile won't show it I'm so sorry

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jalailama · 6 years ago

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Custom Made Cradle Panels Here We Come! 🚀 For this 30” x 40” panel, I am using the tried and true wood that is Birch 😃 Super solid, lightweight, perfectly flat, and ohhhh so beautiful.😍 These panels need to be EXTRA STURDY as I will be flush mounting Oversized Sized Museum Canvas Prints to them 💪 This particular panel is being custom built for my Buddha Artwork “Kundalini Awakening”🔥 Stepping out of my comfort zone to create these monster panels has been quite challenging but also incredibly rewarding. 🙌😁❤️ Once finished, I may even take this a step further and add a nice thick layer of art resin! @artresin . #limitededitionprints #customframing #wip #oversizedart #gobigorgohome #cradlepanels #visionaryart #artistatwork . Finished Measurements: 30” x 40” x 1.5” Required Tools: Miter saw, Staple/Nail Gun, (2) 8ft and (2) 6ft long Birch Pieces (1.5” depth), (1) 30” x 40” Birch Plywood Board (1/4” depth), 20 or so clamps, Industrial Strength Wood Glue, PVA glue(for mounting canvas print), Print Roller( to get air bubbles out), Paint brush to distribute glue evenly. https://www.instagram.com/visionary.art.of.jalai.lama/p/Bvcrv5CHG4j/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a87czea21qrr

https://awakeningvisions.com

#limitededitionprints #customframing #wip #oversizedart #gobigorgohome #cradlepanels #visionaryart #artistatwork

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koikishu · 6 years ago

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Essential Japanese Seasonal Decorations - Summer

Seasonality: Late Summer/ July

Japanese Name: Gion Matsuri/ Saki Gion Matsuri/ Ato Gion Matsuri/ Yoiyama/ Byobu Matsuri/ Saki Matsuri Yamaboko Junko/ Ato Matsuri Yamaboko Junko/ Yamahoko/ Yamaboko/ Yama/ Hoko/ Yoiyama Chouchin/ Machiya/ Kyoumachiya/ Manmaku/ Makuhimo/ Makuboo/ Asagao/ Suika/ Zori

English Name: Yasaka Shrine Festival/ Early Yasaka Shrine Festival/ Late Yasaka Shrine Festival/ Pre-festival Party/ Folding Screen Festival/ Early Yasaka Shrine Festival Float Procession/ Late Yasaka Shrine Festival Float Procession/ Gion Matsuri Floats/ Mountain/ Halberd/ Pre-festival Party Lanterns/ Townhouse/ Kyoto Townhouse/ Running Curtain/ Curtain String/ Curtain Tassel/ Morning Glory/ Watermelon/ Grass Sandals

Gion Matsuri (祇園祭), the festival of Yasaka Shrine, is the most famous festival in Japan. It was first celebrated in 869 CE in an attempt to appease the gods during a plague outbreak in Kyoto. It consists of multiple events (click here for the day-by-day breakdown) that take place over the entire month of July and are divided into the Early Gion Festival (先祇園祭, Saki Gion Matsuri) and the Later Gion Festival (後祇園祭, Ato Gion Matsuri). Before each procession, there are pre-festival parties known collectively as yoi-yama (宵山). Depending on the day, these pre-matsuri celebrations are known as Yoi-yoi-yoi-yama (宵宵宵山, July 14 or 21), Yoi-yoi-yama (宵宵山, July 15 or 22), and Yoi-yama (宵山, July 16 or 23). At the same time as the early yoi-yama celebrations is Byobu Matsuri (屏風祭), a festival where local residents put precious family heirlooms on display for the general public. On July 17, the grand procession of floats, known as Saki Matsuri Yamaboko Junko (先祭山鉾巡行), takes place and a limited number of the impressive floats are paraded for 3 km starting from Shijo-Karasuma Station, up Kawaramachi-dori and ending at Karasuma-Oike Station. After a 48 year hiatus, in 2014, a second smaller procession of floats known as Ato Matsuri Yamaboko Junko (後祭山鉾巡行) was reintroduced. On July 24, the remaining floats are paraded down the streets in the reverse of the earlier parade’s route. The yoi-yama of the Ato Matsuri tend to be less popular than the yoi-yama held for the Saki Matsuri.

Yama-hoko/ Yama-boko (山鉾), meaning "mountain-halberd,” are the collective names for the festival floats that are key to the parades & celebrations of Gion Matsuri. These floats are broken down into 1 of 2 types: the hoko and the yama. There are 9 hoko floats, each one topped with a long pole to act as a “halberd” or “spear.” These “spears” represent the 66 actual spears used for purification in the original Gion Matsuri. The hoko are the largest floats in the parade weighing 12,000 kg (26,455 lbs or 13 tons) with the structures being 8m (26ft) tall. If you include the “spears,” the floats are a total 25m (82ft) tall. In order to move these massive floats, the hoko have enormous wheels with 1.9m (6ft) diameters and need as many as 40 people to pull them along the route. The 23 yama floats carry life-sized mannequins of famous & important people from Kyoto’s history, always adorned with a pine tree branch pointing towards the sky. These smaller yama are about 6m (~20ft) tall, weigh up 1,600 kg (3,527lbs or ~2 tons) and require up to 24 people to pull, push or carry them along the parade route. Learn the names of each yama-hoko here.

Yoi-yama Chouchin (宵山提灯), or pre-Gion Matsuri party lanterns, are used to identify, decorate and illuminate the hoko (鉾), or "spear” floats, on the three nights before the early and later Gion Matsuri parades. The lanterns are hung from bamboo structures in a way that resemble shogi pieces. These shogi-shaped structures bookend each float, are made up of roughly 40 large chouchin lanterns decorated with the crests of the various families who maintain the floats or with kanji identifying the primary god the float is dedicated to. These lanterns also help to illuminate the pedestrian walkway and vendor stalls selling various street foods during yoi-yama. During the parades, these lanterns are removed so as not to obstruct the view of the floats.

Byobu Matsuri (屏風祭), or the Folding-Screen Festival, coincides with the yoi-yama (宵山, pre-festival parties) events of the Saki Gion Matsuri (先祇園祭, early Gion Matsuri). This festival is an opportunity for many traditional families living in machiya (町屋/町家, townhouse or town-shops) in the Yamaboko, Shinmachi, and Muromachi districts to show off their treasured traditional objects, such as heirloom folding screens, Imperial style folding-fans, hand-crafted miniature hoko parade floats, and antique kimono.

Machiya (町屋/町家, townhouse or town-shop) are traditional wooden townhouses found throughout Japan and typified in the historical capital of Kyoto. Machiya originated as early as the Heian period and continued to develop through to the Edo period and even into the Meiji period. Machiya housed urban merchants and craftsmen, a class collectively referred to as chōnin (townspeople). Machiya in Kyoto, sometimes called kyōmachiya (京町家 or 京町屋) is typically a long wooden home with narrow street frontage, stretching deep into the city block and often containing one or more small courtyard gardens (tsuboniwa). Machiya incorporate earthen walls and baked tile roofs, and could be one, one and a half, two, or occasionally even three stories high. The front of the building traditionally served as the retail or shop space, generally having sliding or folding shutters that opened to facilitate the display of goods and wares. The plot's width was traditionally an index of wealth, and typical machiya plots were only 5.4 to 6 meters wide, but about 20 meters deep, leading to the nickname unagi no nedoko, or eel beds.

Manmaku (幔幕), or running curtains, are traditional Japanese fabric dividers hung outside of buildings like Shinto shrines, Buddhist temples, machiya style homes, and Sairei-mon (祭礼門幕, religious festival gates) as well as outdoor locations for ceremonial & theatrical purposes. Here’s an example of a maku being hung outside a machiya home during Byobu Matsuri. Unlike noren, which usually have one or more vertical slits cut from the bottom to nearly the top of the fabric, maku are solid rectangles of fabric. These curtains are often tied up in front of openings or windows using a makuhimo (幕紐, curtain string) to which a decorative makuboo (幕房, curtain tassel) is attached. They’re often decorated with stripes and the family crest, kamon, of the family or establishment. Possibly being derived from the use of jinmaku (陣幕, military camp curtains), the maku carry a wish for protection from evil spirits.

Asagao (朝顔, morning glories) is one of the most popular summer plants in Japan, very often depicted in yukata and other summer wafuku items. Their Japanese name translates directly as “beauty in the morning.” The pattern is also known as kengoshi, which usually means the medicinal asagao seeds but can refer to the plant itself. Asagao symbolizes summer, especially during the Edo period. It was a favorite flower among commoners and was extremely popular in the Bunka era (1804-1818 CE). Asagao blooms splendidly, everywhere at once, but only for a short while.

Suika (スイカ, watermelon) are the representative fruit of the Japanese summer. Watermelons were introduced to Japan from China in the beginning of the Edo Period (1603-1867). Like their Western counterparts, they are large in size with a hard rind and a sweet, crunchy, juicy flesh. The first seedless watermelons were created in Japan in the 1930s, and nowadays there are also small numbers of square shaped and other highly priced premium exemplars. There is a traditional summertime game called suika-wari (スイカ割り, watermelon splitting), where a watermelon is placed on the ground and participants take turns being spun around and trying to split it open with a stick. The first to break open the watermelon wins! The game is often played on the beach as well as any other outdoor summer time outing.

Zori (草履, “grass shoes”) are flat and thonged Japanese sandals made of rice straw or other plant fibers, cloth, lacquered wood, leather, rubber, or—increasingly—synthetic materials. The traditional forms of zōri are seen when worn with other traditional clothing; modern forms are fairly common, especially in summer. While geta are nowadays worn with the informal yukata, zōri are associated with the more formal kimono. The formality of the occasion affects the choice of kimono and zōri. However, zori are generally considered more comfortable than geta. Women's zōri can be made of plastics or imitation straw, but the hanao (thongs) are usually red, and they rank below colored vinyl or brocade zōri in formality.

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