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noa-ciharu · 2 years ago

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Speaking of Eurovision...

As a fellow ESC watcher I would like to ask what your twelve all-time favourite ESC songs are and maybe explain why exactly these if you don't mind •////• 👉👈

And have a nice day~

Oh damn just 12? Thats too difficult 😭 If you don't mind instead I decided to pick a country and then select one of their best songs ♥️

Helena Papariziou - my number one (Greece 2005). Maybe it's just nostalgia, but to me this is Eurovision-est eurovision song that ever won. Fast rhythm, very Greek vibes, catchy tune, nice choreography and voice, what's not to like?

Hari Mara Hari - Lejla (BiH 2006). What to say, beautiful ballad in native language, very powerful voice, in my honest opinion this song should have won back in 2006. But then again, I'm a fan of his music so maybe I'm just biased

Go_A - Shum (Ukraine 2021). What every country should do: send a mix of folklore and modern music in native language. Honestly if I had to choose a country that overal has best entries without a doubt it'll be Ukraine, they never disappoint. What's hard to choose actually is which song of theirs was the best. I can't decide but Go_A's Šum definitely goes into top 3. Also in begging everyone listen to Shady Lady, their 2008's entry

Conchira Wurst - Rise like a Phoenix (Austria 2014). Hands down one of best ballads in English sent in last 20 years. Definitely a deserved win, no matter what public at that time said cuz of her appearance. The 'but I'm gonna fly' part never fails to give me goosebumps. I feel like that song could be trans anthem

Elena Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday (Estonia 2015). The classic. Very simple yet striking duet, idk how to describe it but there's something rly captivating about the song. Ans they look like they're so in love 🥺

Can Bonomo - Love me back (Turkey 2012). Add to endless list of songs that should have won over Euphoria 🙄 it's a very unique song, very catchy too. Also this is the last year Turkey took part in esc :< I miss their performances 😭

Željko Joksimović - Lane Moje and No name - Zauvjek Moja (Serbia & Montenegro 2004 and 2005) - I tried to choose only one but couldn't ;-; that's how 00s music on Balkan was like, it fills me with nostalgia. Sadly national song content in 2006 was one of reasons why union between two countries collapsed so it's more of pensive nostalgia for people here

Anxhela Peristeri - Karma (Albania 2021). This song was criminally underrated 2 years ago :< powerful ballad, perfect voice, strong tune - idk why she didn't rank higher? Albania always sends good song in their language and gets little points, it's unfair :/

Charlotte Perrilli - Hero (Sweden 2008). Yes I can't believe I'm saying this but there is an underrated swedish entry. I've hear this one back in 2008 and it stick with me ever since. Catchy 00s pop song

Andromache - Ela (Cyprus 2022). This one didn't even qualify ;-; honestly it was one of my faves from last year but it was so obvious she was nervous on stage. Plus song isn't really much of Eurovision material so I sort of understand why she didn't qualify but I adored the song nonetheless 🥰 love hearing Greek language

Dima Bilan - Never let you go (Russia 2006). His voice 🥺 song is so beautiful idk what to say really beside I'm an absolute fan (plus that imma go dig up more of his music). I do like Believe from 2008 too but prefer this song

Paula Seling & Ovi - Playing with fire (Romania 2006). What to say, very catchy song, I like it alot. Love them 90s vibes. Defo one of best Romania sent in last 20 years

Toše Proeski - Life (Macedonia 2004). Alright, I feel like I've bored life out of everyone with Crno i Belo from 2012 so time to bring another underappreciated Macedonian entry. You don't understand, this man was a legend in ex Yu countries 🥺💔 still is to this day

Cascada - Glorious (Germany 2013). Shes one of my fave 00s pop icons, imagine my delight when I heard she's on eurovision 😭 her songs are my childhood ♥️ I just wish she ranked better, idk why only 22th place for such amazing song

Doris Dragović - Marija Magdalena (Croatia 1999). Absolutely best Croatia ever sent, powerful voice, catchy tune, native language - absolutely perfect song in all terms

Alexander Rybak - Fairytale (Norway 2009). One of rare winners I 100% agree with. Violin is amazing there as well as his voice. Breath of fresh air into song context with mixture of traditional and modern I'd say

Monika Liu - Sentimentai (Lithuania 2022). So underappreciated 😭 the style, the elegance, the simplicity, the catchy tune - idk why she didn't get more points tbh

Sirusho - Qele qele (Armenia 2008). As someo3n said in comments - everyone over 18 on Balkan knows this song and that's the case with me too 😂 ethnic flavor, catchy rhymes, one of that years faves for sure

I think I covered around 13-14 counties here, especially some from eastern and central Europe that might get underappreciated. Maybe one day when/if I have time I could choose my fave song from all 50ish European countries (if I'm insane enough)

#thanks for ask #at the end of the day yes i still dislike Eurovision for all that political bs and rigged jury #but i love it first and foremost because of music and culture #eurovision

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totallypathet · 4 years ago

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UK Episode Five

UK Hun?

I know I haven't at all talked about Drag Race UK this season, but I have ~opinions~ and my flatmate is getting bored of me so here we are.

First episode back after lockdown! I feel so bad for these queens, started filming, get sent home for seven months, have no idea if/when they're going to start filming again, lose income for 7 months, it must have been so awful. But I'm glad they're all back! Except poor Veronica who got covid - I hope they do a Eureka and invite her back for season 3, I feel like she had so much more to show!

Of course they brought someone back to replace her, typical drag race gag, but nice that someone else got another chance! Having said that, it should have been Astina. She didn't deserve to go home in the first place, imo. I do think it was kind of harsh to throw that at everyone first thing though! Like the eliminated three didn't get to do anything to even fight for it, and for all the remaining queens, like its been seven months! Who remembers things that long?? Not me, that's for damn sure. I think that was kind of harsh, and I think a lot of people did go for Joe maybe as a safe choice, like there's always an argument for the queen who went home first, they didn't really get to show much. You know what I wish, I wish those three had been a group for the Eurovision (I refuse to say Rurovision) challenge, and then everyone got a chance to vote someone back. That would have felt fairer somehow.

Anyway. I was initially really glad we got Joe back, because I really felt like she did have more to show. I was soon to be disappointed, however 😂

I do love the music challenges, and I adore MNEK, I hope he is like the permanent music judge. One of my favourite moments was him, I think it was after Bimini's first take, going "well...its good that we have that..." very like Chrissy Teigen 😬 that was so funny to me, I loved it.

1. A'Whora

Before the covid break I really didn't like A'Whora, but I feel like she's come back a bit more relaxed, a bit more open, and I liked her so much more this episode. I feel like maybe when she came back she was a bit more relaxed because she knew (kind of) what she was walking into, so she felt a but more at home, maybe. Anyway, I think she did really well this week! She's not a singer, but she leaned into this moany sexy thing that some people do do at Eurovision, and hey, sex sells! I think it was a smart choice for her.

Her look as well... amazing. You guys it was a bag of chips! She had wooden forks as her earrings! The font of the newspaper was to scale! She was carrying a salt shaker! It was so sick, I loved it. I loved seeing her be fashion and polished and beautiful, but also whimsy and funny at the same time! Great week for A'Whora.

2. Bimini Bon Boulash

We LOOOOOOOVE Bimini Bon Boulash! For me, she was the absolute stand out this week, I just adored her! Her verse was amazing, her lyrics were great, her very East London attitude was everything, I just loved it. And her outfit! That mad pink cowboy barbie? Incredible! Also, so Eurovision. And the jump off the stool! That lives in my head rent free. "Somebody do a death drop or summing!" Perfect. The whole performance was amazing.

Also her runway looooooook! It was so beautiful, so fashion, I was getting Gautier from that lace and the umbrella... everything about it to me was so perfect. I know it was a team win, but to me Bimini absolutely killed it, and she was my winner 🥰🥰

3. Ellie Diamond

I love Ellie, but honestly I think she's too young for this competition. She's so great, but if you give her just a couple more years, she's going to be absolutely unstoppable. I think she did pretty well this week, her lyrics were fun, she is a dancer, she performed great! I do agree with Michelle, she did look a little bit like she was in her head for a lot of the performance, but that just comes with confidence, and when you've not performed for 7 months and then suddenly you're on the main stage, that's got to be super nerve wracking!

I also think Ellie was a victim of a bad group this week. I think the group as a whole didn't have a lot of direction or focus, the choreography wasn't that great, they didn't really feel like a group. It was unfortunate. I feel like she did the best she could.

I kind of loved her runway, I think the seagull thing was hilarious! She was a human size seagull! That's hysterical. The only thing I kind of wish is that she'd had ridiculous padding on. Like, what's funnier than a giant seagull with huge tits in a bikini. I think that's so funny.

4. Joe Black

Oh Joe. I was excited for Joe to come back, but as soon as she walked out to the Eurovision challenge in that dress with that wig and a belt, I knew it was over.

I'll get into the dress H&M/Primark drama in a second, but first let's talk about the actual challenge. Joe's lyrics were pretty good, but the way she performed them was just so at odds with the track. It's cheesy Euro pop, you know? I just feel like she could have done things differently. And then with the choreo...look I don't expect anyone to walk in being a great dancer and doing flips and splits and all that, but I just felt like she didn't even really try with the moves Ellie and Tia wanted to do. Maybe that was the edit, I don't know. I also feel like, as team leader, she could have found some solutions, like they could've had Tia & Ellie doing these amazing moves, and Sister & Joe could have done something more simple, or they could have found some comedy Joe could lean into while the others were dancing, but it just seemed like they didn't even try and find a way around it? It was just a bit weird to me.

And then she came out for the runway, and it was like chalk and cheese. Joe Black had by far and away the best runway look of the night. That's one of my favourite things that's ever been worn on UK Drag Race, it was amazing. But it was also like girl if you can do that, why were you wearing H&M during the main challenge? And like, I'd get it, if that dress was beautiful, or bold, or she'd used it as a base and done something to it, but it wasn't. It was so basic, and she even said she knew it was basic, and it didn't even fit her right. It was just so disappointing.

Honestly, I understand what Ru was saying about not wanting to see off the rack. I can't believe I'm about to be defending Transphobia Paul, but I actually kind of agree. And it's not about money, I don't think anyone has to spend loads of money to be a good drag queen, I think its just about it being a Look. A Moment. Like this is internationally available TV. And you're going to come out to perform in a dress off the sale rack that you just threw on and belted? I just find that disappointing. And I get what people are saying about Astina in week 1 winning with an off the rack outfit, but at least she did something with it. I mean, first of all it at least was a cool jacket. But then she built this outfit, and sold a character, she gave us an East London Moment, and it didn't matter that the jacket was from ASOS.

Joe didn't give us anything with that dress. She did nothing with it, and she didn't give us a character or a presentation, it was just an ugly dress. But then she came out in that incredible runway look, why such a disconnect? And I know that it was covid, and everyone had a loss of income, but girl the filming started before that. Like Joe should have already had the wardrobe for the season all ready before the lockdown. And if she didn't, she had 7 months to do literally anything with that dress. Stone it, glitter it, paint it, dye it, wreck it with bleach, make it a top, make it a jacket, do SOMETHING! You know? Also, that runway look? Idk if she made it or commissioned it, but baby that was not cheap. That took time, and energy, and effort, and money, so I'm calling bullshit on "maybe she could only afford a sale rack H&M dress 😔". Bullshit, Vivienne.

I was just so disappointed in Joe. I'm glad she went home.

5. Lawrence Chaney

I was worried for Lawrence this week! She's not known for being a singer or a dancer, and she was the only plus size girl in her group. As a big bitch myself I know it can be intimidating to be surrounded by thin people, especially when you're doing things you're not confident in.

But bitch she fucking turned it out this week! She wrote good lyrics, she kept up with the choreography, but most importantly, she performed the song. Like she leaned into not being a good dancer, she didn't look unsure or awkward, she just did it. I love that about Lawrence, she always just gives it her best, and I respect the hell out of it.

Her day at the seaside look was cute. It was a little bit obvious, a little bit literal, but it was well made, it fit her beautifully, and she looked fantastic. She did the assignment, and tbh I'm happy with that. She did a good job, and I'm proud of her!

6. Sister Sister

Honesly, the fact that Tia Kofi was in the bottom two when Sister Sister was right there is a fucking hate crime.

I genuinely forgot Sister Sister even existed. Like the only memorable thing she has done all season is her Morning Talk Show goth, and that was painful to watch. And she spends all her confessionals just bitching and moaning about other people! She spent the whole Talk Show episode complaining about Veronica and saying she didn't wanna work with her, but bitch what did you do?? If you think someone else is boring, you should have no trouble out shining them! And then she didn't!

I'm over it with her. Her performance wasn't that good, her lyrics weren't that good, and then her runway look was like the Wish version of A'Whora's.

I'm not totally certain that I buy that Sister stole it as a concept from A'Whora, but... maybe? Like, if Sister had really seen A'Whora's when they were filming the first time, and Sister had something totally different back then... I can see that maybe she thought "oh, thats a way better idea". All I know is, if you're gonna do the same look as someone else, you better leave them in the dust; and she didn't. She should have been lipsyncing this week.

7. Tayce

Tayce really pulled it out this week! Her rap was one of the best performances in the whole show, she killed it! Her lyrics were great, she really delivered them like a rapper, and them she performed the hell out of the song! Loved it. The only things I had to say about Tayce was that she seemed like the odd one out in the group in terms of outfits? Like everyone else went very Eurovision, cheesy pop pink, and she went with a very cool, edgy, darker look. Like, she looked stunning, and I looooved her hair, but it just didn't quite fit with the rest of the group. But that's a real nitpick, in terms of the actual performance, she was amazing!

Tayce's runway look. It was okay. It was a little bit literal for me, she went for shells and netting. It was cool, she looked beautiful, but it wasn't like a knockout for me.

8. Tia Kofi

Tia got a raw fucking deal this week. She was the best performer in her group by a country fucking mile, she had the best lyrics, she was the best rapper, and I think she looked the best out of the four in that group (during during challenge). I could not believe they put her in the bottom two.

Okay, her runway look was not great. It was a long way from great. But at least she had a unique concept (*cough* Sister), and she gave us some form of presentation. It could have been a lot better, but there was potential! I really wish that she'd had a much more defined look, I wish the skirt had been a high waisted pencil skirt, with some kind of cone-like texture somehow, really fitted and beautiful. And then I wish the top had been really big and over the top ruffles, maybe tulle, just something BIG. And that wouldn't have had to be expensive, you can buy cheap pencil skirts, she could have dyed one brown herself, and then she could have bought that cheap mesh that looks like tulle and made a really big rounded ice cream top out of it - I'm just proving my point about Joe Black and the off the rack thing now btw. But I wish it had just been a bit more considered than it was. And I also wish she'd had a flake head piece instead of a cherry, because when you buy those ice creams at the beach it's always a 99.

One thing I will give Tia's runway this week is that her face was stunning. I think that's the best her face has looked all season, the makeup was beautiful.

There was kind of a lot of drama this week with the whole off the rack thing, and then the A'Whora vs Sister Sister conspiracy, and I kind of loved it! I also really enjoyed this challenge, I feel like they've had much better and more interesting challenges on the UK series than the American one. Also UK Hun is going to be in my head for weeks.

I'm picking my top 2 of the season as Lawrence Chaney and Bimini Bon Boulash. Veronica Green would have been up there for me as well, it's a real shame that she got sick and couldn't finish this season! I really really hope they bring her back for season 3!

#drag race uk #uk drag race #rpdruk #a'whora #bimini bon boulash #bimini #ellie diamond #joe black #lawrence Chaney #sister sister #tayce #tia kofi #rupaul #michelle visage #graham norton

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 4 years ago

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Belgium brings their ex-vocalist back to Rotterdam 2021

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Here we chop chop boys like we chop chop wood

This review space would’ve been reserved for Belarus. Unfortunately, their broadcaster was not ready to make nice, and ultimately refused to serve EBU with anything but not-even-so-thinly-veiled propaganda, so much so that EBU, after all they’ve given the time for them for to snap out of it, finally had to be like “bye bitch” (- Lizzo) with enough push from the fandom, and informed everyone that Belarus will miss this year’s contest <3

Which means that I don’t have to deal with 41, but with 39 writeups to do overall, if my timing permits! The Roop could’ve always used a little less competition, anyway /j

Speaking of The Roop’s competition, time to aim at another one of their semifinal folk with a review. Come forth, Belgium!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Hooverphonic, eventhough they’re not as big of a name as Flo Rida, is the biggest act to compete in this year’s Eurovision, and even had lasted longer as a thing than Flo Rida. He barely even got his proper famous kickstart around in the 2000s. Hoover have been around at least for 5 years more than him, if “Years active” section on Wikipedia is anything to go by. And back then they were just known as Hoover, correct. Their lineup of singers has changed for quite some time, but otherwise the band since its inception is rooted in basically two men: Alex Callier and Raymond Geerts. They used to have a keyboardist too but was he a part of their glory years in 2000? No? Thought so, he’s irrelevant then. In fact, their first vocalist wasn’t even present on their first album, so they went to have another one, who did just one album with them before 2000 and left. Now I’m only constantly and consistently bringing up 2000 because that’s when they had their break out moment in relevancy - after they changed their singer once more before they found someone called Geike Arnaert - the woman you’re seeing on the MV’s thumbnail right now, and not someone certain for whom there was a public outcry for she is the only Hooverphonic component that’s not coming back from 2020 to 2021. But more on that later. I’m here to present you the break-out hit, for those who just don’t know:

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I used to like to think of Hoovers as trip-hop sensations, well not in the style of Massive Attack because they have their trip-hop sound with actual hip hop thrown in, Hooverphonic’s style is that but with a tinge of symphonic.

Well, “Mad About You” wasn’t really the only hit they had, before that they got a bunch of minor and domestic hits, and their music was used for soundtracks. So it’s a little bit cheating still to think of “Mad About You” as their breakout hit, but that’s still the biggest song of the band. If I were to recommend you stuff from them that aren’t necessarily the biggest hits but still, “The Night Before” with yet another one of their vocalists is pretty good.

So when I tell you that Hooverphonic is a band of a very long career. Well some bands do survive a lot without having their lineup change for 10+ years, but Hooverphonic vocalistes come and go sometimes, and for 2020 forray, when they were first announced, they came in to that talk show studio where they were guests in with a promising little starlet Alex Callier found at The Voice Belgium (for the Flanders region) and was her mentor there, Luka Cruysberghs, as their current vocalist.

Is it just me or her and Stefania Liberakakis look like they could be cousins?

All went smooth and dandy, until Alex started spouting stuff about Eurovision the fans found not amusing, such as calling Eurovision a circus or something, later begging and pleading to medias that his statement was “lost in translation” - now I would say it happens to the best of us, like for Tornike, but deep inside I think I know Alex meant what he meant, inside or outside context. Because everything just went even more sour when everyone found out Hooverphonic were missing from the common song “Love Shine a Light” for the 2020 consolation programme in place of Eurovision, and when they were forced to explain, Alex just straight up said he didn’t like the song, so he decided to not do it. Fuck, I myself don’t adore the 1997 winning song, but I like it, and would’ve still done a piece of that song out of respect. Take it or leave it, god damn. Also they were noted to be the only people plugging in their other material in the time when Eurovision 2020 artists on the consolation programme were either saying inspirational stuff or “hope to see you soon!” or a combo of both, once again, courtesy of mostly Alex. Now I’m not saying his ego is bigger than Kirkorov’s... of fucking course not, no one has an ego bigger than Kirkorov’s. The only thing that can beat him in that regard is if someone booked Kanye West for Eurovision last minute.

Following 2021, they were very excited to jump on the “leave 2020 songs behind” train, while a few artists like VICTORIA and The Roop rallied for to keep their entries in tact if they were allowed to. And with that, in late 2020, they went ahead and celebrated the 20 years of “Mad About You” by getting rid of Luka as a vocalist and bringing back the aforementioned Geike to reprise her part. Seems pretty reasonable, but for the Eurofandom it was simply seen as a dick move, and mostly for the reason that all 2020 artists deserve a 2021 chance, even if they’re band members. What felt more dickish is that Luka was straight up told “byeeee u’re no longer our bandmate xo” on a Zoom call between band members. Like, it’s fine to be told you’re fired in person, even if still humiliating, because what’s the other better way? What’s equally worse is to be told this via email, but the email you were sent was sent like a few months ago and you only read it NOW. At least I guess that proves we know what the “sad and losing game” was that Luka asked to be released from now, heh.

Not to worry Luka-stans, as Alex will still have her, just as not the part of the band anymore. But instead give her a solo career. Yeah well we’ll see how long that lasts.

With the 2000 glory heydays lineup of Hooverphonic we have their entry be “The Wrong Place”, as the completely quite different song they promised (or didn’t) when saying that they will certainly and absolutely get rid of their old one for the 2021 if they had a choice. What they didn’t get rid of is the theme of the worse part of relationships - “Release Me” is about probably wanting to be let go of and released rather than kept by the side when it’s probably not working out. “The Wrong Place” is one of those episodes that probably happened during then - they had a house conflict, she chose to have a smoke to forget about it, the man’s after her Johnny Cash T-Shirt. Not much else to say about the song’s technicality fortunately than I’ve already said so much about the band, so how does it fare in the Hoover-lore, for me?

REVIEW

See, I would like to root for Luka ever having her chance to get to experience Eurovision if she wishes, but maybe it’s lowkey for her own benefit she wasn’t the chosen vocalist for the song, as Geike could do “Release Me”, but Luka wouldn’t be able to do “The Wrong Place”.

“The Wrong Place” is well-suited to the first vocaliste’s melancholic blend-in timbre, and a singer like Luka would sound a little too light on this with her soft-spoken sound of her voice. Besides, I don’t think she could be old enough to relate to the lyrical subject’s domestic struggle issue. Not to say 20 year olds don’t smoke and drink, it’s just that “The Wrong Place” feels a little bit too much mature enough.

Although I think that both of them could absolutely rock the music video visuals.

The song itself is very Hooverphonic. They used to do this kind of standout triphoppy sound back in the days, but as of lately they kind of grew out of the label to do more of the music that kinda sounds like movie soundtrack music. Idek the exact label I could give it to their music so move soundtrack music it is I guess. It has a decently paced structure (could’ve done without the overly repetitive ending where they repeat “you’re in the wrong place” over and over, like ffs I know where I am!!), and interesting lyrical choices. Such as “organic cup of... tea”, as in, WOW! HOOVERPHONIC HAS ENOUGH WITH THE TEABAGS FULL OF GROUND AND GRINDED TEA! THEY WILL ONLY MAKE TEA FROM PURE HERBS AND FLOWERS, AS IT WAS USED TO BE DONE! and acting like her Johnny Cash T-Shirt is the kind of prized possession her man is not allowed to wear to rub it in her face. Imagine if it was something more mundane. “Don’t you ever dare to wear my... pink polka-dot T-shirt”? Damn right it doesn’t seem to suit the mood lol.

It’s not what I exactly wanted from Hooverphonic, but probably what I subconsciously needed from them anyway, ever since they were announced for 2020. I only got into “Release Me” sometime AFTER the contest, “The Wrong Place” is a bit more instant to stand behind. So well done to them to commit to their craft.

Approval factor: I guess I do have to stamp this with my stamp of approval. It’s nice and all. Follow-up factor: “The Wrong Place” follows up as a more of a Hooverphonic discography track after the fairly average and overlookable “Release Me” (eventhough the latter has the tinge of theirs as well because it’s a more symphonic ballad, and they do have symphonic stuff on their discog afterall). As a Eurovision entry, it comes across as even better somewhat, and even slightly more standout, but that might not necessarily work in their favour. Qualification factor: And that’s because they’re absolutely stranded in the semi with too many qualification choices to name. Belgium gets to be a bit quasi-obvious, but they’ve failed with a Hooverphonic-penned song before, plus, the pop girlies of this semi are more likely to eat out a band like this alive, but I wouldn’t exactly say Belgium is doomed to fail either, because I am positive Hooverphonic will think of something. I’m just saying that shocking things can happen every now and then.

INTERNAL CORNER

Well, considering Alex Callier is not running his mouth this time as much as he did so last year’s season, I think it’s safe to say that Hooverphonic have had nothing to write home about.

No, wait...

Well I did mention that Luka got replaced as one of the events that happened to Hooverphonic’s lifetime, but thank God that Alex promised her a solo career, right? Right?

Well, apparently, we’re getting towards it.

And the first lyrics of her first solo forray post-Hooverphonic-vocalist-duties features the lyrics about possibly her making someone “regret it”. Lol now watch this song to be a karma kick into Hooverphonic’s ass if Belgium happens to not qualify this year. Luka forewarned y’all with sharp precision.

Annnnnd that’s pretty much it, besides the band jumping on the trend of turning their entries into a Festivali i Këngës 59 acoustic night European version by presenting their own acoustic version of this track. I did not have the kind of courage to link to the Azerbaijan’s “slow version” on their review in fear of overruning my post even longer than they would usually be for these reviews, but at least it moves people to a certain degree

Well, my question of the days is, does “The Wrong Place” in acoustic make you sad twerk?

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ANY LAST WORDS?

Belgium’s big weakness is when it comes to stage their entries, notably for the last two years where the Eurovision actually happened. Sennek was awkwardly put in the middle and succumbed to the curse of Lucie Jones of grimmacing too much and therefore ruining her score in the process, possibly. Eliot was just simply upstaged by the decision to include big drums on stage. Alex Callier acknowledges all that sort of thing, so if anything goes absolutely right and Hooverphonic manage to make it to Rotterdam (which I think they can do because Belgium and Netherlands are neighbours lol? unless their lockdown rules get super strict in May), he should get on to mending all the flaws that Belgium had in the past for staging, and have a spectacular vision. Because it’d be sadly hilariously ironic if Hoovers miss out on the final due to the staging again. Can’t just constantly blame the vocalist - Geike would be flawless live, if Hooverphonic trusted in her for so many years. Can’t blame the song - it’s not too bad. So staging, I guess.

Good luck Hooverphonic, you’ll certainly need it. Also can RTBF consider that they could send anything else from the Wallonian music scene other than The Voice Belgique acts~

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #belgium #hooverphonic #the wrong place

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eurosong · 8 years ago

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My grand final review

Hey there, folks! It’s exhilaratingly close to the big moment, the beginning of this year’s grand final! Here's my rundown of the Eurovision grand final songs, in running order. I call this a "lights and shadows" list, as, for the sake of nuance, I've added something positive and some criticism for every song on the list. For those who missed it, this is the semi-skimmed version of this full-bodied critique of all the songs. Let's go!

Israel + If the hosts' robotic intro has put people to sleep, this will wake them up. - The lyrics make less sense than your average Edward Lear poëm. Rank: 24

Poland + Kasia has a good voice and sings with passion and conviction. - The song is an absolute dirge with no real sense of direction, and those rhymes are ridic. Rank: 17

Belarus: + Instant cute happiness, this is just so squeeeee - They could have fit another verse in to make the song less repetitive. Rank: 3

Austria: + He put a lót of work into promoting himself and his song, which is admirable. His covers of former ESC songs made him seem like a fan of the contest, which puts you in good steed with fellow fans. I think he got in the final by sheer force of personality. - Saccharine, plim-plom song. Those "hey naaaww" repetitions annoy the hell out of me! And I always mistrust someone so perma-cheerful. It comes across as forced, not quite right and makes me feel he's got human heads in his fridge at home. Rank: 21

Armenia: + Majestic. This song soars like the eagle of Artsvik's name. This kind of song is precisely why I love Armenia, a perfect mélange of traditional and modern that sounds like nothing else in the contest. Artsvik herself has got a special, almost regal poise. Feels like this song dropped out of outer space, love it. - She could have made it even better by including more dancers to closer emulate the surreal video. Rank: 4

Netherlands: + Their live vocals are impeccable. And as for the song topic, losing a beloved relative after seeing them battle a disease something, unfortunately, to which so many of us can relate, so it does pull on my heartstrings. - If they were a less popular country amongst eurofans, would folk consider the girls to be using their mother's sickness for sympathy rather than sympathising with them? My internal jury is out on that one. As for the music, it is derivative and dated - their voices deserve something a few decades closer to "contemporary." Rank: 8

Moldova + They perform this song with verve and do their best to bring the party. - This band's continued success goes to show how far getting adopted as a meme by confused American non-viewers of Eurovision can get you in the competition. Rank: 15

Hungary + Perhaps the contest's best example of how one can use dance to make the story of a song understood beyond linguistic boundaries. One of the most original songs in the contest, performed with passion, emotion and defiance, and certainly some of the strongest lyrics. - Many folk have an automatic dislike to rap at the contest and may get the wrong idea of his bars, seeing them as angry rather than as the deep and moving lyrics that they are. Rank: 2

Italy + Francesco embodies easy-going charm, and his satirical lyrics are amongst the contest's best. - The Eurovision version of the song has much less impact than the San Remo one; it slipped down by rankings because most of those biting and ironic lyrics were removed, leaving only half a verse where there had been two. Rank: 7

Denmark + What Anja does very well indeed is connecting with the audience. It's a song about intimacy, so the number of long close ups communicate that well - it feels as though she's singing right in front of us. - Musically generic, and the aforementioned intimacy is undermined by vox that are beyond the border of shouty. Rank: 13

Portugal + Magnificently moving, ethereal song that has the timeless quality of an instant classic. Sang beautifully in a way that shows nuance trumps power. I never thought a song from this decade's ESC could challenge to be my favourite ever Eurovision song, but this does. - Whilst his interpretation of the song through movement is a key part of its appeal to me, it distracts some folks. My own biggest problem is that I'd rather see Salvador (and Luísa) up on the stage for hours rather than three minutes. Rank: 1

Azerbaijan + Best Azeri entry ever. Something genuinely stylish, mysterious and modern. - The staging seems a bit "GCSE Drama" and gimmicky. Rank: 9

Croatia + It's impressive to be able to sing a duet with yourself in two completely different vocal styles. It's bloody hilarious, too. - This is the ultimate example of the saying: just because you cán, doesn't mean you shóúld. This is more cheese than a tower made of Camembert and his fake smiles are creepy. Rank: 14

Australia + As a piece of music, I quite like the style. With another singer, I might well enjoy this a fair bit. - He sings as though his nose has never been blown, and his forlorn looks to the camera that seem like that of a puppy dog who fears he's going to end up served in a dish of bosintang seem fake and are very disconcerting. Rank: 18

Greece + Only lasts three minutes. Demy must be a generous soul, given the way she allows the backing vocalists to sing more audibly than she. - It takes me about 20 minutes to walk from my home to my workplace or vice versa. In that time, I reckon I could write 4-5 songs of higher quality than this. Utterly generic and disposable pop with lyrics which are just a stream of thought-terminating clichés. Rank: 26

Spain + The song has brought me hours of amusement, because my kids have made a game of making mocking references to it whenever they can. Before a pronunciation face-to-face challenge, one lad psyched another out by saying "are you ready to do it... for your lover?" - Wasted money voting on other songs only for a jury of the "winner's" friends to overrule the public vote. So that they could force this masterpiece in which "do it for your lover" or "just do it" is said, on average, every four seconds. Grim. Rank: 25

Norway + I listened to the acoustic version of this and they sing it well, and it sounds much better acoustic. They seem like nice lads. - Cold, soulless, robotic, and with silly rhyming dictionary lyrics. Rank: 18

UK + The BBC has finally upped its game and tried to create an impressive show. Well done. - Shame the song itself is part sleeping pill, part excruciatingly annoying. "This maaadnnesss..." Rank: 23

Cyprus + For us linguaphiles and/or Armenophiles, there was a great moment in a video where Hovig and Artsvik spoke at the same time, he in Western Armenian, she in Eastern Armenian. That was cool. - Pales in comparison to Rag and Bone Man's "Human" from which the music was ripped off without mercy. Also, physicists across Europe are weeping as Hoving considers gravity to be something that lifts you up ánd halts your fall. Rank: 22

Romania + The second dose of "adorable couple" tonight. This shouldn't work, this unholy blend of rap and yodel, but for me, it so does. Mostly on how happy they are and how that transfers to me in the audience. They're just full on adorable. And you know, as much as it's great that Eurovision has a great many serious acts, I love that something so wild and just plain carefree can get so far too. There's a really good message of living for the moment in this, too. - Ilinca's vocals are powerhouse; Alex' are more underwhelming and that might see them penalised by the juries. Rank: 6

Germany + When she was in the final of that ridiculous national final, duelling against herself, it seems obvious Levina wanted the other, marginally less terribad Wildfire, and felt lumbered by the public's pick of Perfect Life. Despite that, she's done a great job of wholeheartedly promoting the song and has travelled far and wide. I respect the work ethic. She had by far and away the best vocals of the national final, too (shame she got this song which doesn't play to her strengths.) - Usually, I cannot look past the ripped-off Titanium intro. When I can, the lyrics blow my mind in the worst possible. Almost a sinner, nearly a saint, people... Rank: 16

Ukraine + I love a good rock song. This is not so great, but is like a mirage in a desert - giving sóme hope of refreshment, even if it ultimately doesn't deliver. - Runs out of steam after the first minute and becomes a bit of a sludge after a few repeated listens. Rank: 12

Belgium + Absolutely spellbinding studio version. 50-60 years ahead of last year's throwback from Belgium. Minimalist and moving. I hold out hope in a really good final performance. - Poor Blanche has looked as though someone was molesting her dead pet dog in front of her during the semi final. More traumatised than vulnerable. Rank: 5

Sweden + The music, whilst nothing special, is quite catchy. Especially the instrumental parts with the synth-based flourishes. - I find it hard to look past the ugly and forceful "rapey rhyme" style lyrics, or the cringeworthy stage show aptly and succintly referred to by a friend of mine as "fuckboys on treadmills." Rank: 20

Bulgaria + Polished and contemporary song, sung with confidence. - As anything other than background music, it leaves me cold. I really find the performer to be highly offputting, too. Rank: 11

France + Not as good or half as charming as Amir and his song, but not a bad effort. Very French, which from me can only be a compliment. - Feels quite inconsequential after they removed the most meaningful lines and replaced them with a cliché English chorus. Rank: 10

My pre-final top 10, thus: 1 - 🇵🇹 - Portugal 2 - 🇭🇺️ - Hungary 3 - 🇧🇾️ - Belarus 4 - 🇦🇲️ - Armenia 5 - 🇧🇪 - Belgium 6 - 🇷🇴️ - Romania 7 - 🇮🇹️ - Italy 8 - 🇳🇱️ - Netherlands 9 - 🇦🇿 ️- Azerbaijan X - 🇨🇵 - France

#eurovision #esc 2017 #eurovision 2017 #eurovision song contest #review

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romemeia-esc · 8 years ago

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My Eurovision 2017 top

I did one of these a couple of months ago, but since that one didn’t include all songs, and my opinions have changed, I want to make a new one, and since I just looove sharing my opinion I’ll write comments on all of them cause I want to, and you are welcome to roast me if you want, just remember that these are my opinions and our opinions are allowed to be different.

From last place to first place, with comments(that are not meant to be rude or disrespectful):

42. Slovenia - He sexually harassed a woman, so this is a given last place. Also, the song is really bad.

41. Latvia - Whoever designed the staging seems like they were inspired by suicide squad, and the singer seems completely uninterested in performing.

40. Germany - Nothing against Levina personally, but I really can’t stand listening to her singing, it hurts my ears.

39. Denmark - Yes, she has great vocal control, but everyone in this contest should be able to sing, so she is honestly just able to do the obvious. The song is way to bubblegum-pop for me, I can barely stand listening to it, sorry.

38. Lithuania - The song sounds like an aspiring songwriters first song, which means it isn’t good.

37. Norway - I understand why others like it, but it really is not my type of music.

36. Ireland - Once again, not my type of music, way too cheesy for me.

35. Estonia - Yet again, this is not for me, both the song and the singers annoy me a bit (not as people, they seem really nice, I just don’t enjoy watching/listening them perform).

34. Greece - This sounds way too much like something I’ve heard before. It could probably be good if it wasn’t for the fact that it sounds so familiar.

33. Israel - This is also something that is not really unique, though it is a bit more enjoyable to listen to than Greece.

32. Ukraine - I don’t dislike this, but as a rock song, this just isn’t good enough.

31. United Kingdom - If they would’ve stuck with the original version I would’ve put the UK higher, but now it just sounds like a poorly made remix to me.

30. Cyprus - I did like this more, now I’ve just gotten tired of it.

29. San Marino - I genuinely like this, I think it’s catchy and fun. It probably won’t reach the final, but I still hope it does.

28. Poland - I don’t think the song is that amazing, but I really like Kasia performing it, she’s perfect for this song.

27. Finland - I didn’t like this at first, but I like it more now. (Applause for the creative commentary)

26. Malta - It does sound like pretty much any ballad, but there’s still something I really like about it.

25. Spain - I hated this at first, this is probably the exact opposite of the type of music I listen to, but after I gave it a chance I really started to like it, and it gives me kinda chill vibes when I listen to it.

24. Croatia - This is really lovely, I love that he’s singing a duet with himself, and I love the positive vibes of this song. Another one I’m not sure will reach the final or not, but I really hope it does.

23. Moldova - Catchy, fun, and just overall nice

22. Serbia - I might be placing this a bit higher than I should, mainly because I just really want to like this more than I do, for some reason.

21. Iceland - I have no idea why I like this as much as I do. I didn’t like this at first, but the more I listen to it, the more I like it.

20. Switzerland - Another one that I didn’t like too much at first, but it keeps growing on me, and I really liked the first rehearsal.

19. The Netherlands - Not a huge fan of the song, but the way they deliver the song makes it sound beautiful, and they really sound like angels.

18. France - In my opinion this is a bit overrated. It’s definitely not bad, but I don’t think it deserves to win.

17. Czech Republic - This is really beautiful, and for some reason it makes me feel a lot of things. Plus, her voice is gorgeous and fits the song perfectly!

16. Georgia - I think I like this more than most people do, and I understand why most people don’t like this as much as I do, but I don’t really understand why I like this as much as I do.

15. Hungary - This is a beautiful song, with a nice feeling to it, also it fits the slogan ‘Celebrate Diversity’ perfectly.

14. Austria - This is such an amazing feel-good song that makes me feel like I can do anything when I listen to it!

13. Belarus - This song also makes me happy, not sure if it will make it to the final, but honestly? It better.

12. Belgium - This used to be in my second place, and that was mostly because it’s an awesome song, but also because I was sure that the staging was going to be incredible, which it really wasn’t, at least not in the first rehearsals.

11. Montenegro - This is perfect for eurovision, it’s catchy, happy, fun, and just an overall great song!

10. Australia - Australia continues to bring high-quality songs, and I love it. This is clean, classy, and it’s obvious that the people behind this knows what they’re doing.

9.Bulgaria - I really hope that Bulgaria will continue to send high-quality songs that will surely do well in the contest, I’d love to see them win someday!

8. Albania - For once they didn’t ruin the english version of their entry, and even though I would’ve preferred if they sent the Albanian version, I think the english lyrics are pretty good. I love the orchestral sound, and I really hope it’ll go to the final!

7. Sweden - Yes, this is my country, but I’m usually not too biased towards my own country. This is not the type of music I listen to at all, but this is honestly really good! Sweden usually sends high-quality stuff, and this is no exception.

6. F.Y.R Macedonia - I’m really surprised, this is absolutely the best entry Macedonia has ever sent, and I hope that this will reach top 10, and I actually think it might. Go F.Y.R Macedonia!

5. Armenia - I don’t know what to say about this, other than that it’s really awesome! I love the ethnic vibes, love what I’ve seen from the rehearsals so far, love her voice, I just love everything!

4. Azerbaijan - Once again, as always Azerbaijan brings quality. According to me, this is probably the best song they’ve ever sent, and I hope this reaches top 5.

3. Romania - I loved this since the national finals, and I love this even more now! I love their positive energy they have both in interviews and while performing. I think this could do really well, and I would actually love to see this win!

2. Portugal - Beautiful! Lovely! Perfect! Stunning! Gorgeous! This is truly magical, and I’m certain this will do very well, maybe even win!

1. Italy - I absolutely adore pretty much everything about this, love the message, love the song, love the dance! Everything about this song just screams ‘winner!’ and I don’t know which song would be more perfect to win!

#btw sorry for my bad english #also I'm pretty sure no one cares about my opinion #but it's not harming anyone so who cares?#eurovision #eurovision 2017 #eurovision top #esc 2017 #my posts

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paddypikala · 5 years ago

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April wrap-up

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan

Finished on 1/04/2020

10/10

Sara Farizan doesn't disappoint. She has this amazing ability to make personal stories universal and serious things adorable. The book was really beautiful and I strongly recommend it, especially that it's not a very long read.

Dreadnought and Sovereign by April Daniels

Finished on 3 and 6/04/2020

9/10

The first book: A transgender superhero, a cyborg villain, a city in distress--a girl can't ask for more. The language and pace are on point and the book seamlessly blends together its two main topics, transitioning and becoming a superhero (metaphor alert). Beautiful! It gave me the feels since chapter one. I was afraid that the terf antagonist would be a little on the nose, but she stayed realistic (and remarkably annoying).

The second book: The first one was better. While it was still very interesting it talked way too much about magic (in a superhero book 😕), democracy, and the American way.

Not My Father's Son by Alan Cumming

Finished on 4/04/2020

10/10

There is something eerily delicate about an adult man being vulnerable and talking about abuse, shame, Eurovision, eating disorders and fake boobs. It was much darker than I'd thought it would be, but in the end, it felt bittersweet rather than daunting.

Lumberjanes, vol.1 by Noelle Stevenson

Finished on 6/04/2020

8/10

It was childish, but cute. Looking forward to the next volumes.

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand

Finished on 8/04/2020

7/10

That was... a lot. So many complicated characters, so many relationships and interactions, dark magic and unique mythology, and finally, a decent redemption arc. I didn't like Zoey that much, she sounded rude most of the time, but I appreciate the asexual inclusion.

Pszczoły i grom w oddali by Riku Onda

Finished on 8/04/2020

8/10

The Terracotta Bride by Zen Cho

Finished on 9/04/2020

8/10

So this is how you write a novella! A story about the Chinese afterlife, destiny, and sisterhood, it was certainly something I have never read before. The non-linear narration definitely keeps you on your toes.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland

Finished on 11/04/2020

8/10

Zombies + early America + badass girls. It's packed with action scenes, fights, and witty dialogue. Jane's voice and character are not only realistic (despite the crazy premise), but also unique - she's not just another fantasy protagonist. She's not the chosen one - just a girl protecting those she cares about and wishing to go back home, to her mother.

Autopsy by Donte Collins

Finished on 11/04/2020

5/10

It was... something? Man, poets can be so dramatic sometimes. Some parts of it were actually good, but some poems sounded a lot like those SNL High School Theatre Show sketches. A bit on the nose and too obvious. The cover was pretty, though.

The House of Impossible Beauties by Joseph Cassara

Finished on 17/04/2020

7/10

I finally finished reading this one. It was complicated like the lives of the main characters, it was dark and oddly uplifting, and in the end, it was sad. And it's not your usual novel, it was often difficult to follow--sometimes it focused on the details without giving enough context. I'm actually happy that I watched Pose before I read this, because otherwise I wouldn't understand what was going on.

The Gentleman Thief by Kate Gragg

Finished on 18/04/2020

8/10

The novella tells the story of a chimney sweep who can use magic, although only accidentally. He should clearly reconsider his career choices, since soot makes him cough, and coughing leads to unintended bursts of magic. And just like that, by accident, he turns money he stole for a dangerous mafia boss into a stack of potatoes and gets himself mixed up in some royal tournament mess. It was a ridiculously fun read that had me laughing since page 2, which is not what I expect of most books. Even despite the quirky world it was set in, it wasn't a difficult, high-concept fantasy book. Its light and funny tone reminded me of The Edge Chronicles--The Gentleman Thief was equally absurd, although not as complex. The book is filled with magic--the fun kind, not the dark kind. There was nothing predictable about this story, because it was too absurd to be predictable. In this world, everything was possible, and the author clearly took advantage of that fact. I'm actually glad I had a chance to read it now, after having read so many difficult books this week. It felt refreshing. After all, it's always nice to read a book that's pure fun, no emotional drama. And the characters! Lydia, the adventurous lady, in particular. I would love to read a story focused mainly on her. The only drawback of this story is that it finished too quickly. The ending felt a bit rush and I would enjoy about two hundred more pages of this book.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Finished on 19/04/2020

10/10

It's a good book, but also a difficult one. I haven't been this frustrated with fictional characters for a while. Sometimes, it was so difficult I could only read one chapter at a time, and that's why it seemed much longer than it really was. I need a break from heavy books.

The Toll by Neal Shusterman

Finished on 22/04/2020

9/10

Oh boy, I do have a sweet spot for omniscient AI systems which have learned how to love and care for a group of humans (wink wink Person of Interest wink wink). My experience with this series has been long and interrupted. I read the first book in November 2018, then the next one in one day in the middle of December 2018 and finally, today, I finished the last one. I must admit, I had to google some names, because I couldn't remember who was who. I've heard voices that The Toll is different than the two first books but in my opinion it was just as fun and even more sci-fi than the other ones. Who would have thought that I would care about feelings of an omnipresent machine? Well, I should have expected that. All rejoice!

Psy i demony. Ciemne strony Japonii by Alex Kerr

Finished on 23/04/2020

7/10

A realistic - or maybe even grim - look at today's Japan. Written with passion and brutal honesty, it's a screaming argument claiming that many things Japan claims to be are just a big, old lie.

Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman

Finished on 26/04/2020

9/10

This book is about a radical idea. Enter drum rolls. The idea is that most people are pretty decent. Can a book on history be sweet? Can it be hopeful? In this sweet, sometimes even cloying book, Rutger Bregman scans history in order to find proof that we are in fact not that bad of a species. That in cases of disaster or faced with tragedy, we don't think only about ourselves and that we come together to help the weakest. He refutes studies that were designed to prove that we're essentially evil, and finds hope and acts of decency in even the darkest moments of human history. It's a book written in a way that makes it easy to read in one sitting. And it was especially heartwarming to read it in this difficult time. I would like to believe Bregman's arguments. They are clear and convincing, and yet there is something so deep in me trying to question them. Is it because we remember the bad things that happens to us better than the good ones? Nowadays I hear of people coming together to make masks and protective gear for medical personnel, I hear about people delivering groceries to the elderly, and yet the only thing I think about is one community in my city trying get a doctor kicked out from her apartment, because they thought that she somehow threatens their safety. Maybe the book doesn't prove we're essentially good, but it at least proves that we're better than we think. And it's not that difficult to be a decent person. In the end, I'll take the Ten Rules to Live By Bregman offered in his epilogue over Harari's 21 lessons any day.

Only Words by Summer Kiska

Finished on 30/04/2020

7/10

It was a decent fantasy novel with all the right elements: magic, villains, cats, and insta-love. It was something I didn't expect, though. I thought it would be about a magical investigation agency--this is how I interpreted the blurb--but instead, the book was more about sibling rivalry and revenge. The idea was both simple and great--how can you do magic, let alone protect yourself against attacks, if you can only use a limited number of words? The book's strongest element were the characters--the villains were appropriately ruthless and brutal. Overall, It was a great read.

#wrapup #Wrap Up #wrap-up #wrapups #summer kiska #the toll

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konstantinwrites · 8 years ago

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Treasures from the Roof of the Insurmountable, Part 1

Small Worlds XI (Wassily Kandinsky)

Hi friends! So, I ranked all 42 songs of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest. It was as simple as comparing each song to every other and missing every social event for a month. I didn’t give /10 scores and didn’t add a bunch of space between songs to signify gaps in quality, like a cool blog would. However, many generous friends of mine reviewed these songs as well. For an alternative, reasonable point of view, theirs is here.

I understand that asking to listen to 42 three-minute songs on the Internet should be reserved for astonishing lovers, but I hope that you’ll give them a play. The reviews are based primarily on the studio versions, linked in the title, but for fun I more strongly recommend the embedded live performances. This turned into an epic nine-parter only by luck -- Tumblr wisely halts this kind of obsessiveness by setting a limit of five embedded videos per post.

Anyway, I think you’ll like at least some songs. Not this next one, but some.

42: Spirit of the Night by Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson (San Marino) (Returnee, Eurovision 2012, 2013, 2014)

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I will make a conscious effort not to embalm you in Eurovision completely, but I have to bend here since Valentina Monetta breaks all unwritten rules anyway. This was her fourth Eurovision appearance, all for the Most Serene Republic of San Marino, in six years. San Marino houses less people than you saw this weekend, sure, but there are probably a few other musicians in the country that would like a boost to their career.

Maybe some of them were on stage for 2012’s timely “The Social Network Song” (titled “The Facebook Song”, pre-zucc), with which Valentina began her pillage of this contest. (If you have patience for exactly one hyperlink...)

The lyrics incandesce:

Are you ready for a little chat?/And a song about the Internet It's a story ‘bout a social door/You’ve never seen before;

And the “Social Network” music video, all morning bedsheets and Safari browsing and wild leers into camera, is like the aftertaste of a burp from the dude who ran ARK Music Factory.

Throughout the last eon, the early to mid 2010′s, peace still ruled. It was underpinned by dark respect for the creature, and fear, but effective and true peace it was. In Year 3, Monetta qualified to the grand final. Appearing in that show was supposed to be the prologue to another Sammarinese age of serenity. Yes, she breathed too hard and accidentally set the Finnish commentators on fire, then threshed her wings and flew out through the arena roof. Human Eurovision performers have gimmicks, too. It was our Monetta, we prayed to her benevolence, and she made other countries and micronational principalities respect us as well.

But we grew tired of living in fear ourselves. If our Monetta was truly done with this world, we would be happy to raise a new generation in peace. Families waited to resettle back to their birth land, planning carefully. At dawn, sometimes, you noted the unsavory magicks in the distance, still discharging in the air. The tribe elders knew that kids were their most important constituency: every evening, a few fun rhymes with the kids that made each of the elders look silly; every forgathering, the children could run off after roll call. Irreverence and joy, with which the children played games on the hills, was as crucial as the considered warnings that the adults were made to hear.

Come spring, at the agora, Elder Dendroch took his deepest breath of the year, all wheeze, as he screwed in the VGA cable to the projector, casting the San Marino 2015 Eurovision artist announcement onto the smooth side of the hill. During the countdown, even All-Naked Christoph went silent. This was to determine his capacity to continue to gyrate himself around the fire each morning without being clawed by Monetta and thrown into the nearest cactus. Her swift retributions of All-Naked Christoph was one of the few Acts that the tribe was grateful for; however, now they yearned for calm and agency. They were ready to pay the price -- and cover their eyes at breakfast.

What a cheer, then. It was, indeed, someone else for 2015. The slothful bards were worth their silver on this day, spooling blunt limericks on the spot, tribesfolk teary with laughter. The eyes of all, awash with joy and soapy bubbles, feasted on daydreams about this new era. Resettling back to town, with everything as it has been (apart from the bread, now a furry green pet), we gleefully watched Anita Simoncini rap -- for we could scream, “No!”. The year after that, Serhat proselytized us, trying to make what sounded like, “I am a dick tit” happen. We loved telling him that it’s not going to happen, and besides, he was the neighboring queen’s chief accountant and she was not letting him out on any more trips like that. Our power was back.

But, well... You saw the rest. You saw 2017. Not even Mostly-Naked Christoph thought that eurodance would rise again. Not even the gloomiest of the kids ever had in mind that Monetta was always in control, and that there is nothing that we can ever do but point our projector at the stars.

“Spirit of the Night” is a dance anthem structured around a conversation between two horny and dim-witted patrons of a San Marino club. “Hey, are you the one I dream about?/Baby, I am.” After successfully capturing his target’s interest with this awful line, the man proceeds to use amateur pick-up artistry to delve into the murky depths of her insecurity. “Every time I see you smile/There is sadness in your eyes.”

Luckily for him, his quarry eats this obvious nonsense up. After connecting through dance, he seals the deal by revealing that he’s a hurt, insecure man who is in need of a woman to protect him. “Hey, are you the one to take my pain?/Just take my hand/I’ve been so hurt before, it’s hard to trust again.” Nonstop key changes and a reference to obscure weather phenomena attempt to mask the utter vacuity of “Spirit of the Night,” but nobody is fooled. 1/10.

Richard Hansen

41: Keep The Faith by Tamara Gachechiladze (Georgia)

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Ten seconds in, this has all the potential in our supercluster. It becomes “Keep The Faith”, but that moody horn-driven bar can lead into a Jay-Z track, a Antony and the Johnsons symphony, or the title screen of “Swordfish”. But it becomes “Keep The Faith”, and it’s a little awkward; I live and work in Georgia, and super enjoy this country.

However, this song is derivative garbage, devoid of any sensory pleasure. It has many siblings, songs of this type, all grey, parts-per-million pollutant specks. It’s a pure ballad and a very specific type of ballad, none of which have ever been enjoyable: pie-eyed on piano, throaty-vocaled, vowel-elongating, forcefully important, crudely pitch-raising, artless fat zeppelins of songs, avoiding melodiousness by purpose and not even by chance.

I like the few seconds in the bridge where Tamara and the backup singers go, “Oh - ohhh - oh! - ohhh!”, and I like the final string cadences, the last two notes in the song. I wish they’d signaled the end to something not so comprehensively dopey.

Please also let me just add here that I adore “Mzeo” by Mari Mamadashvili, the Georgian winner of Junior Eurovision 2016.

I’ve cried listening to it. I’ve showed her performance to many people. Don’t revoke my residence permit. Look at how much good stuff Billy wrote.

Having heard a plethora of Georgian music over the past year, I really didn’t have my hopes up going into this one. But I have to hand it to Tamriko, she may have actually pulled it off. The song’s video isn’t much to talk about, and I found the opening lyrics about hiding behind a veil and then panning to a woman in a hijab to be slightly off color, but the tune and subsequent lyrics are actually pretty cool. One might say the video had my sentiments shaken, but not stirred. That’s right, I referenced James Bond (Jamesi Bondi) and how could I not? The ominous violin, three-key piano repetition and horns - the song practically screams, “put us in the next movie!” and I happen to agree.

If we got rid of the whole weird hip-but-frowning aspect and replaced it with an unmistakable gun-toting secret agent silhouette, complete with tastefully nude female figurines, Georgia might actually have a hit on their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big believer in letting music speak for itself and in many ways this song does, but at the end of the day it’s also a pop song and that music video HAS to be tight. Get this out to Eon Productions, Georgia; I’ll be disappointed if Ed Sheeran gets to do another title sequence.

As far as vocals go, Tamro fits the role pretty nicely - she can really belt it and it adds to the overall grandness of the song. As a matter of fact, grand is probably the word I would use to describe this. It’s the kind of song that makes you clench your fists and pump your arms dramatically and ceremoniously. Tamo’s powerful vocals and lyrics are engaging and entertaining; my only real worry is that with such a Bond-sounding song, people might have a difficult time seeing it as its own thing. Not to mention, if people dislike James Bond, they’re probably just going to see this as some hack interpretation of an Adele hit. While some might view it as lacking in theme originality, I see it as a distinguished work operating in a certain genre (a difficult one at that). I don’t think the sky will be falling on this song any time soon! Qochagh, Sakartvelo! 8/10.

Billy Moran

40: Gravity by Hovig (Cyprus)

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The lifetime of this adult contemporary rockvomit is: released to the suffering masses, all 4th grade boys for three days repeat-blast “Gravity” on the family speakers, then torrent Battlefield and yelp and chaotically shake their faces to its menu music and forget about “Gravity” forever. No other integration of this song into a human life can be permitted.

This wailing, free trial-distortion-effects, tragically detached one-dimensional nonsense would take aback a NHL video highlights editor, and they’re immune to this stuff. “Gravity” is for a montage of, like, a corrupted toothpaste factory, where the toothpaste is evil. There is something a little demonic with the toothpaste. It’s been breached. There are lich in the toothpaste, hiding themselves and their sorcery, and they now terrorize users of toothpaste all over the world. Only those who still use tooth powder have not yet turned. With this paragraph, I have now released more beauty into this world than the Cypriot entry. I’m not proud of putting lich and toothpaste together. I know I’ll answer for this one day. Sometimes you have to drive a point home.

This is a solidly made pop ballad with a catchy chorus that I could see getting good radio play for about two weeks before being promptly forgotten. While somewhat catchy on first listen, it quickly loses its appeal and you realize there is nothing more there than another over-produced pop song that makes oatmeal look plain and generic. This song is the definition of standard, meaningless pop. It's begging for some sort of edge to it, some sprinkles to go with its vanilla. As is, I'd much rather listen to “Hook” by Blues Travelers.

Ryan Haskell

39: Dying to Try by Brendan Murray (Ireland)

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I like Brendan’s voice. For 54 seconds, he makes a serviceable dyingtotry. I like that the first line of this Segway-speed ballad gets close to saying, “Take a leak of faith with me”. I like his tuneful delivery through the lightly layered first minute, and you could stroll to this and take sips of still water and feel correct.

Then the songwriters take out their game hunting rifles, trundle us into the basement and serve us a soup of impotent key change, never-ending chorus and string accompaniment, all of which we would spoon out of the dish in a less savage situation. You eat — you have to — belch, relax a bit, and then notice Brendan at the table, his meal long finished, as he mouths to you, “trying to die”.

As an American who grew up American, with American parents and American grandparents, I myself am American. That said, I definitely identify with the Irish a bit - they’re my ancestral roots and I root for the guys for sure. But I have to say, Brendan Murray, bud, you let me down. The song can be summed up in one word: boring. The kid looks to be about 15 and, sure, he has some pipes (little Irish pun there), but I have to believe these impressively high notes he’s hitting have more to do with his lack of pubic advancement and less with actual talent.

The music video takes us on the journey of love’s rocky road, complete with a daughter of Elrond and a poodle man that would make Dr. Moreau jealous. Perhaps I would have paid more attention to the lyrics if the featured couple were less visually jarring. I mean, the woman was fine… But the poodle man! That hair! There’s a million elf-y looking guys in Ireland to complement the girl, and they choose that guy!

My biggest complaint comes at the peak of the song’s rising action. Brian is walking through the grassy knolls of Ireland, as one does, and the viewer is treated to a beautiful melancholy landscape that just screams of Ireland. But instead of giving the listener something to complement the breathtaking view, we get a gospel choir harmony as Brian dives into his chorus. It was the perfect moment to incorporate cultural music - so poorly utilized by Israel - and Ireland missed it! If a lovely flute had accompanied Brian as the camera raced across the Irish shoreline back to our visually perplexing couple, I think I would have poured a shot of Jameson on the spot and shed a tear for all the struggling lovers in the emerald isle. Instead, the song loses its identity and all my invested interest is gone with it.

Brian, the wise fifteen-year-old he is, ever wary of love’s slings and arrows, tells us, “No one can promise that love will ever learn how to fly”, but I can promise Brian that his song won’t be flying to the top of any billboard charts. Maybe something a little more fun next year, huh Ireland? Sláinte! 4/10.

Billy Moran

38: My Turn by Martina Bárta (Czech Republic)

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The indifferently mute student can be the most frustrating. Staring at the arithmetic poster for two minutes at a time, boring with their pen more and more millimeters of their desk hole, finding the right moments to sip a hidden can of Fanta with the vigilance of a mosquito pursuing a meal from a human absentmindedly playing the Chrome dinosaur game -- apathetic students cause little obvious trouble in class. However, asked to contribute to any task, their monastic silence and translucency can drop a teacher’s command of the classroom to the floor. Other students, especially ones wavering between “kind of paying attention” and the Frowning Face With Open Mouth emoji, sense the student’s apathy, think that the lessons are, indeed, for nothing, and mentally teleport themselves out of there as well.

Which brings me to “My Turn”. It would be out of date during Pangaea, but out of date is very often fine. The prime disappointment is that it has a harmonious, sentimental melody to throw around, as most ballads do, but concretely refuses to get out of the hotel elevator, or the Saturday morning wine tasting. There are many piano works like these; it shouldn’t be an excuse to bunt and be another, especially because it’s got a pleasant tune. I’ve listened to “My Turn” at least 30 times and can recall the main progression with roughly the same clarity as remembering why Fletcher Christian mutinied and vamoosed to Pitcairn Island, the Wikipedia summary of which I probably read once, or maybe someone told me. Before going home, Teacher Eurovision will leave an inspirational message for Martina on her desk. “You can be different!” The next morning it’ll only be used with a shout of, “Kobe!” and be another clump a few feet from the trash basket.

Czech Republic’s Eurovision results, 2007 (debut) to 2017: 28th in a 28-song semifinal; 18th in a 19-song semifinal; 18th in a 18-song semifinal; Not participating for five years (understandably); 13th in a 17-song semifinal; 9th in a 18-song semifinal, 25th in a 26-song final; 13th in a 18-song semifinal.

Czech selection committee: just put a donk on it. You’ll like the results.

Not only did Ms. Martina choose to submit a song written in English to the Annual Eurovision Ritual, helping the beast of globalization devour her culture and language, but she also submitted a song with lyrics so boring that they flee from my mind immediately after I’ve heard them, as if Gilderoy Lockhart himself has just charmed them directly out of my cerebellum. Lyrics: 2/10.

Luckily, the music video itself is far more interesting than the song itself. I’m at least 80% sure this video depicts what people experience while rolling on Ecstasy. Nude bodies of various age and shape, writhing in ways that are at once harmonious and cacophonous. Here an old white man finds peace in a warm-towel embrace of a large black man. There a bald man hangs his head in his ultimate shame only to be comforted by an equally bald woman. At one point the bacchanalian dancers just all freeze and turn their heads sharply to one side, staring at the audience with eyes that contain something between abject misery and ultimate pleasure. Disturbing! Music video: 7/10. I found this video hilarious. Personal enjoyment: 9/10.

Cody Phillips

#eurovision #eurovision 2017

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 6 years ago

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Denmark to Eurovision with a cute multilingual jingle

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Dansk Melodi Grand Prix is... a NF I don’t really have anything to say about. Like, you expect me to rile up 3 big paragraphs about the pre-NF dramas and what-not, but honestly... what’s the point.

Well, aside from the fact people did not really get excited over the lineup this year. Me neither from the names alone, actually. Even last year was more interesting to look at despite with another lineup of songs you can’t give a fuck about and then move on - I noticed they had Sannie who used to be known as Whigfield (”Saturday Night” <3333 the duck quacks <333), Ditte Marie (anyone remembers “Overflow” from 2012?) and Albin Fredy (which seems to be the same Albin that brought me my one of the two DMGP 2013 favourite songs, “Beautiful to Me”???). This year was a big “WHO IS SHE?? WHERE DID YOU FIND HER???”, so I just left DMGP in the corner where it picked cobwebs until not too long ago when someone got chosen.

Well, this NF keeps being a NF where I don’t personally feel too emotionally fucked about any of them entries, so that’s a big plus in my book, which will mean that I won’t throw a “THIS WAS ROBBED!!!1″ post on Denmark NF-wise... at least this year and the last year because I really loved “Venter” in 2012 and the said “Beautiful to Me” and “Invincible” in 2013 (I also liked “Only Teardrops” but I was mad its victory was so obvious xD). As for why I like it when the NFs don’t toy with my feelings, A Dal 2019 is an obvious demonstration, but more on that on my Hungarian writeup, which is significantly longer than this one - that’s how much of a demonstration it is.

Anyway, let’s talk about the chosen song, shall we? Performed by a smol skater girlie Leonora (Jepsen), here comes “Love Is Forever”, which was co-penned by the ever-so-notorious Lise Cabble - the champ-mastress of writing Eurovision songs for the Danes (by that I mean she wrote their 1995 entry... and then none of her entries got chosen for ESC until 2011 lol). And this is a significally softer turn of hers compared to “Only Teardrops” - ever since Anna Ritsmar in 2018′s DMGP, she tends to write cute, acoustic tunes sung by young ladies with their lil cute and lil crispy voices. “Love Is Forever” is just that, tbh.

Well THAT and also it sounds like a lovely acoustic background song for those funny photos/student quotes/test answers/etc. compilation videos on Youtube (I actually am talking about the channel Scoop, because other kinds of compilation videos use Youtube Audio Library-like pop songs or something straight off NoCopyrightSounds). Or the theme song for a TV programme for animals. Or the theme song for a children's programme they show at hospitals. There's so many places you can insert it into, I guess. At the same time it feels like a cupcake with pink frosting that tastes nice. And a cup of warm cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. It's a delightful bite. Yum.

Realistically though, the song itself has an easy noddable-along-to rhythm, cute violin string plucks, the capability to melodically progress to sound even more joyful (I mean, the chorus just adds more and more layers of brass as it keeps repreating, just giving it a bit more of a typical Scoop channel background music material), the D flat major key of this song’s uplifts the spirits of this whole shebang and it also somehow includes lines in some more languages than expected in a Danish song ever, how odd it seems like??? And it’s especially given that we haven’t really heard Danish in a song since like what, 1997?? We only got “shout insh’allah” and “taka stökk til hærri jörð, taka” ever since then, and these aren’t remotely Danish lines. But this year we’re getting some Danish, and French, and even German. Feeling the love in multilingual. L’amour est pour toujours, y’all! Liebe IST für alle da!

There are also people that aren’t buying into the song all that much because Leonora looks way too creepy to sell a song about love love peace peace, like someone emerging out of a demented cabaret. I suppose that other people think that this song was forced onto Leonora when she didn’t really want it, and now has to pretend that we have to spread love to the world, make friendships with others, don’t get too political, and then act all supercool about it. The saddest bit that she does sound like that person that would sing a song like that... young, with a passion for skating, looks like a person that could probably hug you when you least expect it, the one that posts light purple sweater pictures with a glitter effect applied to them on Tumblr, the one who would wear white mittens with a giant red snowflake painted on/knitted into them... I don’t know if that’s all Leonora wanted to compete with in DMGP to make a breakthrough with her singing career after skating so darn much, and if she even believes in what is she singing (this is my rare reminder of the war situation in Israel that’s going on, and I’ll probably never have to speak of this again in any writeup, hopefully. Yeah sure, love is for ever...), but I somehow buy it, sue me. Those acoustics and that touch of brass instruments won me over.

So my final thoughts on this song is that it’s a joyball with that kind of song message so overused I cannot be angry on it because it’s not slapped on a dreary Russian peace ballad - it’s a singer-songwriter-esque small showtune, which makes it all seem a lot different because love is cute and this song is cute. So I guess I have no issues with it, whereas I can’t stand the aforementioned Russian peace ballads all that much because if you remove the good singers singing it, they’re cliché af; “Wars for Nothing” (Hungary 2015) sounded too innocent while having a full gun tree serving as a backdrop for them and if you looked too much into Boggie’s eyes, you could very well feel her penetrating your soul with war imagery; and Iceland last year was a knock-off Russian peace ballad that sounded too good to be unbearably dreary and the vocalist wasn’t even a belting girl. So yeah, I like it. More adorable songs about spreading love, less overdone ballads about world peace.

Thing is though, why did she really dress like a barista from a late-night-open cocktail club? I get that looking like a princess à la Maria Olafs won't cut it anymore as it would look way more saccharine, but Leonora is up like she's there to serve you your damn drink as soon as possible so she could go outside for a small smoke break, not to advertise love. Watch me make "when you have Eurovision at 9 and job at a cocktail bar at 11" memes on the night of the 16th. Seriously, her image barely even fucking suits the song!

Approval factor: Well, one of my faves won DMGP again, for the 2nd time in a row, so why wouldn’t I approve? ^_^ Love from me is forever!

Follow-up factor: For Denmark it kind of seems like a decent follow-up? For all those out here that remember Denmark as the nation that plagiarises every other entry, it would just seem logical for them to finally send a generic royalty free ukulele song for Youtube videos. Which is spectacular! No one knows which song did this one exactly plagiarize - the entire concept was ripped off! Jokes aside, it’s an interesting one after Rasmussen. After a song that urges you to lay your weapons down in a war and go find higher ground more peacefully, we’re now getting a morale on the fact that love is for ever and everyone. Isn’t it sweet. I’d rather these than a bland love song about laying down armours and guns. ^_^

Qualification factor: depends. For now I feel like writing it off because to the 1% of the people who’ve already heard this song beforehand and hate this song, the whole thing feels like “love :) is :) forever :) please love everyone you little shit :) :) :)”. To some others however, like Luke Malam from ESCXtra, it’s a song that definitely makes them feel the love being forever, just like “yaaaay we love each other and the world yaaaay!!! ^o^”, so it’s perhaps a bit of a mixed bag. I wanna see it through though, just as much as I want to see Lithuania, about which I will be talking next in these write-ups. But I see it very much so as a borderline because... idk, just a gut feeling. Sometimes songs that ooze loveliness just don’t quite get themselves across the other hand side of the viewer thus they don’t really qualify, for example, Finland 2012, another song sung by a lady better known as a sportswoman rather than a singer (but maybe that’s just because there was too much intimacy of hers with her and her celloist’s mom, and she looked too awkward to pass the intimacy to the viewers so they too could feel the loving bond and the life metaphors coming from a Finnish entrant singing in Swedish). For now from me it’s a positive borderline. Yes, I think that it probably will make it and we’ll see that large Ikea chair prop with many people swaying to the rhythm on it next to Leonora on Saturday as well.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Even with me not having much to say about DMGP, I will go ahead and cherrypick the favourite songs from the event:

• The big favourite of mine this year was brought by Julie & Nina, who served a bilingual schlager-like midtempo track, “League of Light”. Hats off to sounding properly Eurovision-y but without using a “rent-a-NF-songwriter” songwriter for to write this! It’s soaring, majestic, somewhat memorable and inclused Greenlandic. Yeah. Do you believe that this would have been a year where we could’ve gotten more exotic Language spins? Now we have lost both Aboriginal and Greenlandic out of Eurovision, hopefully just for this year so the languages can return again sometime. I’m proud of these women being so courageous and delighting some that really wanted schlager pop that still can click with some that are bored of Eurovision NF schlager cliches. Oh and this song is in A flat minor, probably one of my favourite keys in music. Not too bad, everything this was, although the aggression they transmitted through the song during their live DMGP performance kiiiiinda made them looked like pissed-off housewives imo?

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• Them both and this guy below, Sigmund, were picked to the superfinal to compete against Leonora. What was Sigmund’s contribution and why did he deserve to be there so much? Well, I really love his colourful flamboyant electropop track that has piano influences, “Say My Name”, which lyrically reflects on the song’s protagonists big power that he will probably have if only the invisible force Sigmund’s singing to would just “say [his] name”. And I definitely think he deserved his spot over some really nice pop entries that the fandom definitely overrated. Oh and the song is in A flat minor too. Maybe I’m biased, maybe I’m not. You judge. >:)

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• See, I don't feel like talking about the DMGP songs this year. It's a cool bunch of songs that some of them I like but nothing quite outstanding to talk about beyond those I already have paragraphs for. Well maybe you'd like to look up the entries by Humorekspressen (for to get a pub singalong song) and Jasmine Gabay (for to get yet another Latino-influenced Havana club track). But that's it. Here from me the last one you'll be getting is Simone Emilie with her teen-flavoured light radiofriendly dance-ish song "Anywhere". Why didn't it do better despite having the power to click with the Eurofans quite much? Well, maybe it's because her backdrop and the fairytale-esque dress went for another kind of atmosphere than it was required to have on the song.

• I don't know, I just find this particular winning reaction shot funny. Not sure if she's yawning or being like "yaaaazs bitchesss ;) 😄 ✨" in here. I gotta say - her lipstick was definitely on fleek that night.

That guy below her takes the cake at making this shot memorable too. Do you want the invisible meal Leonora is about to take a bite of too?

And besides that moment I don’t really have any on-show moments besides songs that were somewhat memorable. Why do Danes always have to be this vanilla in the Nordic country barrage, I will never get. That’s it. That’s their crime. Of being average. And being sued for plagiarism a lot in the past.

For now I’d just wish Leonora good luck in Tel Aviv and show ‘em that love can and will prevail before hatred does, if only people remember to love... ah wait, wrong kind of philosophy.

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #denmark 2019 #leonora #love is forever #denmark

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borisbubbles · 8 years ago

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8. ITALY

Francesco Gabbani - “Occidentali’s Karma” 6th place

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God, my relationships with Eurovision would-be winners are always so damn’ed. The one time they provide us with an OBVIOUS WINNER that I’m 100% into and he barely stumbles into a 6th place? ugh.

Still, I too was ~a little~ annoyed when I saw THAT final performance. I’ll explain why later, but know that my friend circle and I were all drinking the Francesco kool-aid and we all knew that, after that performance, Salvador was 100% going to beat him. (as in, Salvador was only NOT winning if he somehow died during Denmark’s performance, by being sucked into the gaping black hole that is Anja Nissen’s be-tooth-gapped maw.)

Hence, as the projected and actual winners, Francesco and Salvador will forever be associated with one another in my mind. Yes, I ranked Salvador aeons ago, but this is roughly where he would have placed had he not emerged from his special snowflake pupa as the Supreme Avatar of Eurosnobtitude and Redditorial Neckbeardedness. REAL MUSIC MY ARSE. git.

Anyway, there are narrative parallels between the two: While Salvador’s apparent victory against The ‘Biggest Problem’ In Eurovision (is it a big problem though? most convenience songs in Eurovision are harmless fun at best and temporary annoyances at worst, as long as we aren’t exposed to too many of them at once) actually bared the existance of a much, much bigger problem (audiences can be manipulated through conceptualism), so too does Francesco’s downfall boil down to a series of massive ironic paradoxes.

“Occidentali’s Karma” is an anti-internet culture anthem which warns against fake-intellectualism and the appropriation of memes and neo-oriental trends by pasty, white Basics. Of course, it is highly ironic that it is that all of these elements played a rolet in Francesco’s own downfall in Eurovision:

re: fake-intellectualism: it is pretty telling that Francesco wasn’t just beaten by a pube-bearded, man-bunned hipster from Lisbon, but one who was shown reading a Woody Allen biography (acol) in his postcard?

re: anti-internet culture: it will never cease to make me chuckle how “Occidentali’s Karma”, the anti-internet anthem, was actually more popular AMONG THE NETIZENS than the actual casuals fans <3

re: appropriation of memes: one simply had to cast one look at Francesco’s act and be reminded of the DICKS FOR HARAMBE!! Movement. Seriously,

That said, while all these little ironies are funny, they aren’t what caused Francesco’s tumble outside of the top five. That honour has to be slapped onto greater ironies behind his final performance. I mean,

The fuck are you wearing? WHY are you doing the mannequin challenge? WHY are you karate-chopping the fucking AIR?? WHY DID YOU CUT OUT YOUR SECOND VERSE FOR ANOTHER HELPING OF CHORUS???

I can seriously not believe that an entrant whose appeal was based on their intelligence willingly dumbed themselves down into a mess of stale memebase platitudes and hamfisted acting. This is the same sort of “let’s assume the audience is too stupid to get our point so show them the simplified version instead” attitude which has irreparabily soured American reality television, turning Survivor into an idol-ridden chore and BBUS into the worst television programme of all times.

Thus, the most delicious irony of them all was that instead of breaking stereotypes, Frances&Co ENFORCED them, causing the westerner’s karma they so tried to warn us against to catch up with them and punt their asses out of the top five. NAMASTÉ, BITCHES.

This all to explain to you (and mostly, to myself) why I can’t rank them any higher or lower than eighth. Personally, I STILL fucking love Franesco as a human (”TAAAAARTLE” but also his postcard in which all of his different personae tried to order a bowl of spaghetti <3 and of course his antropomoric ferret self <3),

Still has da “Sex Appeal” (sex appeal)

and I still adore this song and the ensemble of it all and I still wish he had won instead of Salvador. If only because it is infinitely more preferable to turn into an arrogant overdog before you win, rather than after. ;-)

OHM-EN!

Decade: 61/324

THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:

-ADORE- 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. -LOVE- 7. 8. Italy (61/324) 9. the Netherlands (63/324) 10. United Kingdom (67/324) 11. Finland (68/324) 12. Estonia (71/324) 13. Azerbaijan (84/324) 14. Latvia (87/324) 15. Israel (93/324)

-LIKE- 16. Bulgaria (100/324) 17. Portugal (105/324) 18. Croatia (115/324) 19. Austria (119/324) 20. France (138/324) 21. Poland (154/324) 22. Armenia (158/324) 23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY- 24. Iceland (174/324) 25. Ukraine (190/324) 26. San Marino (203/324) 27. Albania (217/324) 28. Denmark (228/324) 29. Spain (237/324) 30. Cyprus (240/324) -DISLIKE- 31. Germany (258/324) 32. Montenegro (263/324) 33. Sweden (270/324) 34. Serbia (275/324) 35. Australia (280/324) 36. Switzerland (286/324) 37. Czech Republic (288/324) 38. Malta (291/324) -HATE- 39. Georgia (301/324) 40. Greece (303/324) 41. Slovenia (307/324) 42. Ireland (312/324)

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2017 #Italy #Francesco Gabbani #Occidentali's Karma

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