#also Ellie. idk why I just. they never have a shirt on? but also. it’s weird for me to draw them without a shirt?

[peapod20001]

Making this in an effort to make me less insane but anyways don’t you think it’s funny that I have characters I’ve drawn without clothes more times than with clothes

[les4elliewilliams]

can you pls write ellie talking reader through her first time having sex and just being really gentle? thank u!!

first time with loser!ellie ౨ৎ

✩ wc/cw: around 4k words ! tribbing bc😌, fingering + oral (r!receiving), corny pick up lines bc ellie's a nerd, happy trail and bushes<3 (i love body hair srry)...also shy reader??

!!mdni please!!

idk why but all i can think of is loser Ellie, so this is what you're gonna get. it sucks ass but it was fun to write so idc.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks.

She's such a huge women's lover, worshipping your body like it's the only and the best thing she has ever seen in her entire life, and she's so gentle with you that it makes you go insane. She'll take her time with you, and she'll say the most random shit ever during it because she's a nerd and she's awkward like that (but mostly to make you feel comfortable, especially if she can sense how nervous you are). No one can convince me otherwise.

You've been together for a few months, but she'd get nervous and pull back whenever things got too heated between you two. She would touch you, palming your titties as she explored your body, but when it came time to take things further, she'd blush furiously and freeze up at the slightest sound that escaped your swollen lips.

It made her pussy pathetically throb, and she felt almost ashamed for how her body reacted at your every touch; she didn't want to pressure you into doing anything, telling herself that if you ever were in the mood, you'd make the first move or would let her know in a way. However, considering how shy you tended to be around her, she knew you wouldn't likely make the first move. Your nerves always got the best of you in her presence; you were too nervous to actually initiate anything.

She knew she had to be the first to make a move, so she decided to test the waters one day. Her touch grew significantly bolder, her hand slipping underneath the hem of your shirt and directly touching the sensitive skin of your abdomen. She traced delicate patterns over your flesh, her fingers trailing across your body with practiced ease before reaching your boobs. Your limbs tangled together, your bodies pressing against each other as you passionately explored each other's mouths. The heat between you intensified, and you could feel her subtly grinding against you, almost to get a reaction out of you and see how far you'd let her go.

Her room was always charmingly chaotic and managed but still retained an element of disorder. Light blue walls were adorned with cute science-themed decorations while a TV softly played in the background. A lava lamp sat on her bedside table, an obsession of hers that added a soothing ambiance to the room.

Her hand gently groped your breast, her mouth leaving yours to trail a series of sweet kisses down your jawline and neck, leaving you breathless and panting, your core heating up with a growing desire. The sensations sent a fluttering wave of pleasure coursing through you, stirring up a whole menagerie inside your stomach, with pterodactyls flying freely and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It was both exhilarating and overwhelming, all at once.

"Ellie..." You spoke her name in a hushed tone; your voice was soft and silky like butter, gently drawing her attention and pulling her out of her intense focus. Her worry and guilt immediately surfaced; the last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable. Yet, to her surprise, instead of discomfort or unease, she saw a whole new side to you. Your cheeks were flushed, and your eyes held a passionate intensity that she had never seen before.

"Yeah?" She couldn't help but whisper, the close proximity creating an intimate atmosphere. Her green eyes roamed over your features, drinking in every detail as if it were the first time seeing you. A single auburn lock of hair fell to the side of her face, adding to her natural, effortless beauty. She was mesmerizing, yet she remained blissfully unaware of the profound effect she had on you.

You averted your gaze for a moment, your eyes drawn to her discarded, worn-out converses lying on the floor just a few feet away from the bed. They seemed the most captivating thing at that moment, distracting you from her curious but piercing gaze. She studied you intently, her intense green eyes seemingly trying to read your thoughts, and you couldn't help but feel even more vulnerable under her scrutiny.

Her voice carried a tone of concern as she questioned, "Did I go too far?" causing your heart to fill with a swelling sense of warmth. It was almost too good to be true that such a stunning and caring person like her could genuinely love you for who you were, embracing you with all your quirks and insecurities. It was a difficult concept to fully comprehend, and at times, you found yourself doubting her sincerity, unable to fathom why someone as amazing as her would choose to be with you.

"No, no, it's not that," you hesitated for a moment, your voice quiet and uncertain as you gathered your thoughts. There was a brief pause as you swallowed, trying to suppress the nerves that fluttered in your stomach. "I lied," you blurted out, your gaze hesitantly meeting hers.

Her eyebrows knit together, her confusion evident as she gave you a puzzled look. She pulled back a little, creating space between you as she sat down directly before you, her curiosity piqued. "'bout what?"

You let out a shaky breath, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you thought about the little white lie you had told her before the two of you started dating. Your fingers nervously fiddled with the laces of your shorts. "I actually never done it before," You mumbled, your voice barely audible as a hot flush crept onto your cheeks. The heat in your face spread down your neck and chest in a wave of embarrassment, leaving you feeling flustered and exposed under her gaze. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole at that moment.

Lying wasn't something you normally did, but when she confessed that she had been with two other girls before you, a rush of insecurity coursed through you. You felt inexperienced and vulnerable, embarrassed that, at your age, you were still a virgin. It wasn't that you hadn't had opportunities before, but rather that you were never comfortable enough with someone to take such a monumental step. However, with her, it felt different. You felt secure and at ease, and trust blossomed between you. You knew you could confide in her and she would give you precisely what you needed, fulfilling your every desire and need. That's what she was there for, after all.

Her eyebrows shot up, an expression of surprise flickering across her perfect features. A soft oh escaped her rosy lips, her head tilting slightly with confusion. Her brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all. "Wait, why did you lie about it?" she asked, her voice tinged with bewildered curiosity.

You gave her a slight shrug of your shoulders, "I dunno...I guess I just- I didn't want to seem- I don't know, it's embarrassing!" You burst out dramatically, your eyes darting everywhere but on your girlfriend, who was looking at you in awe.

Did she care? Not a damn bit. If you only knew how seethingly jealous she had been when you told her you had done it with your ex-girlfriend before. She was downright pissy for a whole week, and you had no idea why. Surprisingly, though, she never said a word about it. She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief knowing that no one had ever touched you that way—that she would be the one to claim you if you ever let her.

She let out a relieved huff, her words tumbling out without a second thought, drawing your entire focus. "Thank god," she muttered, a weight lifting off her chest.

"What?"

"Nothing, just- I'm glad I'm your first," She confessed, her voice tinged with a hint of bashfulness, eliciting an airy chuckle from you. "If you want me to be, that is," She added; she was a tangle of nerves, fearing that she might be pressuring you to move too quickly, pushing you into something you weren't ready for. Yet, if only she could see herself the way you saw her—the desire for her radiating from your every pore, plain as day and utterly undeniable, practically written all over your features for any blind person to see.

You nodded in agreement, a shy but confident look in your eyes. "Yeah, I think I'm ready," you whispered, your words filled with nerves and excited anticipation.

"We don't have to do anything if you're not ready," Her touch was like a delicate whisper, her thumb gliding tenderly across your cheek, leaving behind a trail of reassurance and comfort.

"No, I'm ready, I promise...and I trust you," Your timid voice's gentle timbre sent a rush of butterflies fluttering through her stomach, causing her insides to somersault recklessly. The fact that you trusted her to take the lead and guide you filled her with a special kind of flattery. Knowing that your trust in her was absolute was a unique form of validation.

Ellie gave you a brief nod in acknowledgment before closing the gap between you with a sly smirk. Her focus remained fixed on your lips as she inched closer, her eyes never straying from their destination. "We'll take it slow."

"I trust you," You repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, the words escaping your lips in a hushed tone. Your gaze locked onto hers, and in that moment, you swore you could see her eyes sparkle with unabashed excitement.

Her lips landed on yours again, kissing you gently yet with a hint of urgency. Her fingers skimmed across the bare skin of your stomach under your shirt, "Stop me if anything feels wrong," She murmured softly against your neck, trailing a trail of kisses down your neck. Your hum resonated in response, a gentle vibration of contentment and pleasure escaping you in a small, involuntary sound.

Her mouth worked its magic on your neck, painting it with a constellation of small, colorful marks. It was as though she were an artist, and your body her blank canvas, eagerly accepting everything she had to give to you. Her hands never left your breasts, gently squeezing and pinching your hardened nubs as she left feather-like kisses all over your torso, claiming you all for herself. Her knee pressed lightly against your throbbing, drenched core, coaxing a soft whimper from your lips.

A few moments later, both of your bodies were bared to each other's eager and hungry gazes. She trailed soft kisses down your body, her lips lingering as they approached the edge of your panties. She paused to take in the sight of the dark, damp spot blooming on the thin fabric of your pink underwear, her eyes lighting up with satisfaction. With deliberate slowness, she pressed a kiss just above the waistband, sending a shiver through you. Her hands gripped your thighs gently but firmly, the warmth of her touch contrasting with the cool air. She spread your legs wider, positioning them over her shoulders, her green, dark eyes locked onto yours, filled with a mix of hunger and playful intent.

Her face, poised between your thighs, radiated with beauty as she looked up at you with a mixture of desire and adoration.

What a picturesque sight, she looked even better between your thighs.

Her cheeks glowed with a rosy hue, contrasting beautifully with the smattered freckles across her face. Her eyes were wide and expressive, her pupils dilated almost as if she was under the effect of some extremely addictive drug.

"I sure am no astronaut, but I'd love to explore your universe," You couldn't help but chuckle softly at her words, the sound escaping you as she continued to pepper your inner thighs with feather-light kisses, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Her fingertips danced tantalizingly along the waistband of your panties.

"You didn't just say that," You couldn't help but giggle in disbelief.

"Oh, I did," her lips formed a small, self-satisfied grin. She loved how worked up you were getting despite you trying to hide it.

"Such a nerd."

"Hmmm...'m not," She protested softly with a slight pout on her face, slowly tugging at the hem of your panties, a silent plea for permission to continue.

You caught on to her intention almost instantly. "Take 'em off." Your command was direct.  

"You sure about this, babe?" She asked, her fingers traced along the contours of your hips. Her gaze was locked onto your face, her eyes searching yours intently for any sign of discomfort. But there wasn't any. You wanted her as much as she wanted you, and you weren't going to back down. Not now.

"Very," you reassured her.

Ellie's promise to take it slow lingers in the back of your mind. True to her word, she was taking it slow—agonizingly, deliciously slow. Her lips wandered over your inner thighs, teasing and tormenting everywhere but the one place where your need burned the most. Each kiss, each brush of her lips, was a deliberate torture, making you grow more impatient by the second, not that patience had ever been your strong suit.

Only after pleading and begging did she finally give you what you craved. The wait had left you aching for more, and the build-up only made you wetter, if that was even possible—nearly soaking the sheets of her bed.

Her breath hovered close to your wetness, coaxing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth instinctively. She gently explored your slickness with her fingers, collecting the essence of your arousal on her digits. Her smirk was a subtle hint of the satisfaction she felt, her expression one of quiet contentment as she admired the result of her touch. "Prettiest pussy I've ever fuckin' seen," she murmured under her breath, admiring your throbbing and aching core, which was begging for her touch.

You gasped sharply, your breath hitching as she touched you. Her touch was tentative and curious, trying to figure out what felt good for you and what didn't, observing your body language attentively.

Your hand instinctively found its way into her cinnamon locks, your fingers tangling in the soft strands as she feasted on you like a starved animal. She could feel the subtle twitch of your body and clit against her tongue; her movements were deliciously slow, each lick and suck intended to savor each drop of your essence and relish the taste of you.

She had been fantasizing about this moment for a while now, touching herself at the thought of it, at the thought of you writhing and squirming in her hands, moaning for her and giving her the prettiest sounds and expressions you had to offer. And it was just like in her little fantasy. You were so ethereal, so precious, so gorgeous. None of her ex's were even close to you, you were something else; tasting like you were the one for her.

"Feels so good, El," You couldn't help but let out a breathy moan; your hands found their way to her head, gently pushing her closer to your core. Her fingers tightened around the plush curves of your hips, digging into the soft flesh as she allowed you to guide her.

She moaned in response to your words, her middle finger gently teasing your entrance. Her green eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign to stop, but all she saw was your blissed-out expression. "Can I?" she asked, her voice breathless as she took a moment to fill her lungs with oxygen. You nodded vigorously, unable to form words, your need for her touch overwhelming.

She slowly slid her middle finger in, allowing your body to adjust to the sensation. "Does it hurt?" she asked, pushing it deeper in response to the slight shake of your head. Her eyes widened with amazement at how effortlessly her finger moved inside you, the slickness making it easy. You gasped, arching your back and bucking your hips against her in response, craving more of her touch. Sweet moans escaped your lips, sounds that once might have made her pause but now only fueled her desire. Your need for her was evident by every movement and ragged breath that came from you. The sound of your pleasure spurred her on, driving her to give you even more.

You were soaking her sheets, but she didn't mind one bit, too caught up in the moment. She hoped you wouldn't notice her subtly humping against the mattress, just as turned on as you were.

But you came first; she would make you feel good first. She could wait.

Her breaths grew heavier, mirroring your own, as she focused on your pleasure, her movements driven by both care and desire.

"No, it feels just perfect," you replied after a few seconds. You were a whimpering mess, and she loved it—she loved every second of it.

"You feel so good 'round my fingers...sucking me in like a black hole," She cooed softly, a coy smirk never leaving her face as she continued to finger-fuck you, adding another finger with a smooth motion. She was amazed at how well you took her, your body greedily sucking in her fingers. What a sight you were—she felt so fucking lucky. Every little twitch of your body was like a symphony to her senses, each movement driving her insane. Her auburn little bush glistened with her own arousal, dripping down her pussy and making a mess on her pastel blue sheets. Her eyes stayed fixed on your face, savoring every expression of pleasure you gave her, feeling the connection between you grow with every passing moment.

"You're so fuckin' weird," You struggled to speak, your words broken and punctuated by soft moans that threatened to escape from your lips.

"Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend?" She asked mockingly, her digits curling ever so slightly to reach that soft spot inside you. The movement coaxed a loud and filthy moan from your lips, echoing in the room mingled with the wet, rhythmic sounds of your slickness and her thrusts. A look of triumph flashed in her eyes, an expression you wished you could've ripped off her face.

"Oh my god!" your eyes squeezed shut as your head sank into the soft embrace of her pillow, her fingers hitting your g-spot over and over. Each sound that escaped you was a soft, needy whine. Your gummy walls squeezed her fingers so much that she could barely move them.

"Gonna cum, baby? I can barely move my fingers..." She observed your every movement, her eyes drinking in how your muscles tensed and tightened with each thrust; she could tell you were close. Her green orbs observed the subtle tells that gave away your imminent release—the arch of your back, the quiver of your thighs, your high-pitched moans. "You're doing so good, babe. Let it alll out," she encouraged you sweetly, her thumb rubbing your clit in a circular motion, slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you; she wanted you to enjoy every second of it, and she didn't wanna rush anything.

"Yes, yes! 'm so close, please," You pleaded, though you didn't need to. Ellie had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Her only focus was to make you feel good, to treat you as you deserved, and to pour her love and affection onto your body.

"Come for me, sweet girl. Can you do that for me?" She purred softly, her fingers continuing to tease and torment you, knowing it was a matter of seconds until you milked her fingers just like she wanted you to. You could only manage a frenetic nod in response, your words lost in a haze of pleasure. Your body arched towards her, your breath coming in short gasps. "Yeah?" she cooed. "Go ahead, beautiful. Let go for me." She guided you through the waves of orgasm, letting you ride her fingers until you came down off your high, your hips meeting her thrusts halfway with urgency.

Slowly, she withdrew her fingers from you, her lips enveloping each digit, sucking them clean. A low, guttural moan escapes her lips as she relishes the taste of you, finding it utterly intoxicating. You, an exquisite delicacy, have become her newfound obsession, a craving she knew would haunt her long from now on. Hopefully, you won't mind when she'll be begging on her knees to taste you once again. Begging you to let her make you feel good just so she could feel you twitch and throb on her tongue.

Her tattooed hand glided gently along your side, her lips bestowing soft kisses upon your thighs and mound, slowly trailing a path of affection upon your skin. She made her way to your lips, you could taste the remnants of your pleasure on her own as she kissed you lovingly.

She gently kissed your forehead, her hand still idly tracing patterns on your skin, shoving a few praises your way. "Did so well, for me," her tone was warm and caring. "So beautiful, so responsive." Her fingers lingered on your face, her touch almost reverent as she took in your flushed cheeks and disheveled appearance, looking even more beautiful to her eyes. "You taste so fuckin' good, I can't get enough of you."

A delightful darker hue staining your cheeks and giving you an almost otherworldly glow. Your eyes looked up at her, still glazed with ecstasy, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggled to catch your breath. "I love you."

She smirked, her eyes glinting with a playful sparkle as she straddled your lap, her body fitting perfectly between your spread-open thighs. Leaning closer to you, she spoke in a soft, sultry tone, "I love you more—Think you got one more for me?"

"Yeah, I can do one more,"

Those words were all she needed to proceed with her intentions. Her body hovered above yours, her movements controlled as she aligned her dripping cunt with your still-sensitive one. Your hands instinctively grasped her hips, guiding her to your desired rhythm. A low groan slipped past your lips as her hips started to roll and grind against yours, the sensation of her warmth and pulsating core pressing against yours causing you to arch your back and meet her movements with eager thrusts. You loved how her clit felt against yours, it was so pretty and puffy, and she was so fucking wet, so needy for you; it was adorable.

"Ooooh fuck!" You cried out, her head arched backward in response, a symphony of needy moans escaping her lips as she clung to the leg you had draped over her shoulder, using it to steady her movements. Your slickness mingled with hers, painting a glistening trail across your inner thighs. She loved feeling you; she loved how good it felt each time your clit kissed hers.

"You feel so fuckin' good, fuck," She murmured, her words punctuated by soft gasps as she continued to move against you. "Wanna feel you come all over my pussy" Her movements grew erratic, her hips moving more urgently against yours, the pace of her grinding becoming frantic and sloppy, using you to chase her orgasm. A constant stream of needy sounds fell from her plush lips nonstop; soft strands of her hair fell loose from her messy bun, framing her freckled and scrunched-up face. Ellie seemed so focused on her movements, trying to keep them steady and controlled but failing pathetically, growing needier and needier each second. Her expression was one of intense focus and desire, her eyes locked onto your face as she rode you with determination.

"Ellie, fuck," you groaned. "Slow down, 'm not gonna last," You gasped out a warning, your nails digging into her pale skin as your body began to tense up once again. The soft curls of her pubic mound soaked with both of your cum, your eyes silently admiring her cute happy trail, tracing it with your thumb.

"Me neither," her voice ragged and breathless as she increased her pace, grinding against you more forcefully and urgently. Her hips began to rotate, moving in a desperate, frantic motion as she sought to bring you both to your climax. Her free hand reached down to intertwine with yours, squeezing your hand tightly. "Eyes on me, pretty," She managed to utter, the words broken by cute little moans, her speech barely comprehensible. Your gaze slowly roamed up her body, taking in the sight of her toned abs and her pretty happy trail. You traced your eyes upward, taking in the sight of her perky breasts before finally meeting her face and locking eyes with her.

"You're so hot," You cried out in ecstasy, the words leaving your lips before you could stop it. She snorted in response, her eyes hazy and lidded as she looked down at you. Her mouth twitched into a lazy smile, revealing her pearly white teeth before she spoke.

"Have you met you?" Her voice was ragged and raw, the following sound escaping her lips like a gasp. She was flushed and breathless, her cheeks stained a deep scarlet hue, like tomatoes in the height of summer. But suddenly, her smile faded, replaced by a look of concentration as her brows furrowed together. "'m gonna-" but you cut her off.

"Me too," You whined as your other hand reached up to play with one of her breasts, your fingers teasing her nipple. The sensation elicited a louder moan from her, a melodic cry of your name that echoed through the room, her body arching into your touch.

You both came together, your cores clenching around nothing and twitching against each other in a mutual climax. The auburnette's movements slowed gradually until she finally collapsed by your side, her eyes wide and cheeks still flushed. She was completely out of breath, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling. For a moment, neither of you spoke, both of you still reeling from the intensity of what had just happened.  

"Mind-blowing," Your words pulled her out of her trance, making her roll onto her side to face you. She propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes roaming over your flushed and breathless face as she spoke.

"Mind-blowing, hm?" she teased, a sly grin spreading across her lips as she leaned closer to you. Sliding her tattooed arm around your waist, she pulled you closer to her until your bodies were pressed together. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, her lips lingering against your hair as she spoke. "You did so good, baby,"

"Did I?" She nodded in response to your question, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. Her hand brushed gently against your face, her fingers gliding softly through your hair as she swept loose strands away from your face. You couldn't help but stare at her, taking in her soft features and tender expression, feeling a pang of awe and admiration in your chest.

She gently caressed your face, the touch of her fingers like a subtle whisper against your skin. "You sure did," she murmured, her voice soft and affectionate as she kissed the tip of your nose. "You are one beautiful celestial body," she added cheekily, her tone laced with sarcasm. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at her, unable to keep the affectionate grin off your face.

"That's so dumb," She laughed along with you, her arms wrapping around you tightly as she held onto you like a koala clinging to a tree. She cuddled and snuggled against you, her body molding against yours as you settled into a comfortable embrace. As you gradually drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but notice a stupid smile spreading across her face.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. (takes a second, fuckers)

[pixiesfz]

would you write for alexia putellas?

okay I always find it hard to write for Alexia but I finally thought of a good plot

inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's unaired song

prison for life a.p

plot: you've always been independent in life but when Alexia walks in you cant help but want her to protect you.

warning: idk

You sat in front of an interviewer in front of the goal posts as he asked questions about your new signing to Barcelona FC.

"So what caused the change from United to here?" he asked and you smiled "Change of scenery I think, there is nothing wrong with the club and I cherish every memory I have there" The interviewer nodded his head "So you don't feel for the comments saying you are moving just to get wins under your belt?" he asked slowly, almost as if he was scared to ask the question.

Your eyes slightly squinted at him but you leaned back as you remembered it is only his job "I'm a big girl" you smirked "I'm not going to listen to comments left on my Instagram because they're not the ones controlling my movements, I am" you said with a nod.

The interviewer smiled, impressed with your answer as the camera stopped rolling "You're very good with the media" he complimented you as he packed up his set "thanks" you smiled before returning to practice.

As you reached the other side of the pitch Keira turned to you "any personalized questions?" she asked and you shrugged "talked a little bit about the rumors of why I moved but that's all" Keira nodded "I will say in this team you get asked more personal questions so I'm here if you need" she suggested and you nodded "I'll be fine" you reassured her "yeah?" she asked "I'm good at protecting myself".

You had moved to Barcelona for a change of scenery but to also spend more time with your girlfriend Alexia who lived and breathed the club.

She was injured at the moment so she wasn't at a lot of the trainings and would appear at some games, she was very protective but you knew that... to an extent.

Your whole life you had protected yourself from the prying eyes of others and didn't rely on anyone else so whenever someone offered to help you, you always declined.

They didn't need to, you had yourself sorted.

But as your early weeks turned into months at Barcelona more interviewers and fans started asking more questions and players on the pitch were starting to recognize some of your go to traits which ended in more tackles, risky tackles.

You had never played in the same team as Alexia yet but as she was getting better and sat on the bench you saw her eyes darken whenever a tackle on you was played.

When the game ended you walked over to the bench where she sat and took the water bottle she had out for you "you know if looks could kill Ellie Carpenter would be six feet under" you joked as the girl had slide tackled you at least five times during the game.

"I don't like it when they try and hurt you" she shrugged and you smiled, leaning over to place her hair behind her ear "it's apart of the game Ale, it's her job and she is good at it." you told the blonde and she rolled her eyes "they hurt you, I hurt them" she shrugged before walking off into the change rooms.

You stayed in your place as you watched her go.

"She's so protective of you" Mapi scoffed as she watched your interaction with Ingred "you know it wouldn't hurt if you were that protective over me" Ingred teased "Alexia would go to prison for life if anyone laid a finger on her"

You furrowed your eyebrows at the couple as they walked away from you still babbling about how Mapi could be more protective of Ingred.

You looked around the crowd before walking around to say hello and sign t-shirts for the crowd.

You always did the lap, some girls stopped every now and then because some of the fans could be too much but you were always good, protecting yourself when something would go too far.

But when a man tried to convince you to take off your playing shirt and give it to him you thought about Mapi's words.

You wish you had Alexia here to protect you.

But you had never invited her too, always making excuses for people or sticking up for yourself.

You knew you could protect yourself but you wouldn't mind Alexia saving you.

You bid the man farewell as he groaned at your non-willingness to take off the top.

When you went home that night you took another hot shower as Alexia cooked dinner you couldn't stop smiling over the fact that Alexia cared so much about you.

When you got out of the shower and changed, you went to the kitchen and wrapped your arms around Alexia's toned stomach.

"comfortable?" she asked and you nodded "very" Alexia laughed "almost done, go put something on the TV" she suggested and you nodded, kissing her back which was covered by a singlet and walking to the couch and picking a television show.

You sat in the corner as you waited for Alexia, your mind wondering into situations where Alexia could save you and how her arms could hold you oh her arms-

"penny for your thoughts?" Alexia said as she put your plate down in front of you "not thinking much" you shrugged and Alexia rolled her eyes "I know when something is on your mind amor" she said and you ducked your head into your arms out of embarrassment.

"It's silly"

"I doubt it is" Alexia moved closer to you and picked up your head with her fingers so you would face her "are you okay?"

"I'm fine I just-" you stopped yourself and Alexia nodded for you to go along.

"Well my whole life I've always stood up for myself and solved my all problems" you started and Alexia nodded "I know, it's one of the things I love about you"

You blushed as she kissed your cheek "And today when I saw your eyes on the pitch and then what you said after the game I realized that I can also allow you to protect me" you said softly

"And I just really like the fact that I have you and that you care about me so much to even suggest hurting someone who hurt me" you laughed at the end.

"I would do more than just hurt them" Alexia quipped and you smirked "would you say you would end up going to prison?" you asked, thinking of Mapi's comment from earlier.

"For life".

[joelsgoldrush]

swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that

joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words

summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.

warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)

a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me &lt;///3

here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)

"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."

What is it that he has?

You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.

Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.

He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by. 

Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night. 

You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.

He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had  heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–

Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on? 

He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.

Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.

That night, you dreamt with Joel.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.

There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities. 

And boy, you loved Ellie.

It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.

“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”

She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”

The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”

“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.

“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.” 

You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”

An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.

Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.

Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”

He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”

That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.

“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”

His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?” 

Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”

“Can I see what you’re–”

“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door. 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not done.”

“But–”

“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.

Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing. 

Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.

At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.

Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.

He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.

That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.

“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”

He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”

“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”

Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.

“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about. 

“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“

He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”

To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you. 

After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?” 

“Hey.”

You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”

Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”

At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”

No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”

“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”

“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”

You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”

“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”

But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.

The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”

Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”

It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”

“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”

The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”

“One more time.”

“Joel–”

“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”

You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around? 

Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.

Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.

“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”

“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”

You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”

“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”

“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.

“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”

Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?

“So, you would advise me to just…”

“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”

That raspy sweetheart made you give in.

His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame. 

You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames. 

“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. 

He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”

Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp. 

“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.

“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”

Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”

“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”

It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.

You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.

“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”

He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you. 

But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”

“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room. 

Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”

“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”

“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”

“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”

He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.

“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”

“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”

Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.

At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.

“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.” 

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick. 

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“But you will.”

A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.

“Joel–“

“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”

You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.

Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.  

Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.

Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.

“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.

“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”

It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room. 

“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse. 

His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”

Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.

It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”

Please say yes.

“Only if you want me to.”

Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.

[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

⭑⌗ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✶ let's go ahead and clear that idea that ellie wouldn't be like. immediately obsessed with you and giving you secret discounts on the weed.

✶ she met you five seconds ago and she was like. why would she ever pay for anything?? she's literally my reason for breathing?? (ok babe 😭) so you're getting that stuff for lowest price she can possibly make it. and if you flirt a little?? she's wondering why she's not just handing you the bag for free.

✶ when you guys get closer, she notices you're kinda into pink so when she sees pink papers???? she's SLAMMING that card, best believe. when you're freaking and like HOWD YOU GET THIS she's trying to pretend to be all cool like oh idk just found 'em and thought it'd be funny but if you like 'em you can have them ... i guess 😒

✶ if you're a little inexperienced with it she's a little protective and is like oh i don't think you should try that this one's way better and gives it to you on the house like?? you're trying to pay for it and she's like noooo it's for you just take it even though that was some of her good weed and she never gives that out. but you're nice and sweet and her bestest customer so who is she to charge you??

✶ when y'all are closer she literally just starts buying shit for you. you're like oh my gosh this bracelet is literally so pretty and next time you come over she's like so.. guess what and there's the bracelet in a box under two pretty pre-rolls (that she's also not letting you pay for btw)

✶ n you're so worried about breaking her bank when she does it but she's literally living lavish because she's everyone's dealer and no one with weed isn't getting it from her. (charismatic queen tbh)

✶ plus if you think this is gonna kill her wallet just wait until you guys start actually dating. she's not even waiting for you to ask for shit, she's telling you to put your cart on public so she can surprise you all the time.

✶ you're like babe how am i gonna pay you back and she's like just .. be pretty for me, yeah? 's not hard for you at all. (just flustered myself give me a minute)

✶ and some random things i just think she'd do:

✶ texting you high out of her mind about dinosaur facts because she just knows too much and needs to get it out immediately (she's such a nerd I love it 😭)

✶ trying to shotgun with you but she sees your face lookin' all pretty n dazed, chokes on the smoke, and just simply never does it after that. (give her a week, she'll be back)

✶ reading a shit ton of sci-fi. she compulsively reads savage starlight all the time but she's actually obsessed with the whole genre n can't exist without it atp (she DEFINITELY owns a few space cowboy books and before meeting you she would always imagine she was the lead guy with the hot love interest who was definitely some kind of alien. don't question it.)

✶ if you're a plushie girlie (me fr) she's ALWAYS buying you plushies. but she always buys one that matches yours for herself so you guys are "always together" or something. idk she's a little bit of a loser.

✶ she's so bad at keeping up with skincare but now she just weaponises that and makes you do it for her. literally rolling her eyes and pouting if you do yours without her, mumbling shit like "oh yeah, just forget about ellie, huh? that's what they all do" until you're like babe what??? 😭

✶ also i know that everyone says this but she really does own some weird ass shirts 😭😭 she'll get high and buy weird shit like that shirt that just says tomatoes it's so wild going through her closet lmaoo

✶ and because of her high shopping she also has some weird ass bongs like. seriously. there's a an astronaut one with octopus legs for sure, i can feel it.

✶ high ellie tweets>> she's actually so out of pocket sometimes 😭 some of her greatest hits would probs be

✶ also she was so nervous around you and wouldn't look you in the eye for too long because she didn't wanna scare you but then she got a little bold when she found out you liked girls and then was just straight up cocky when she realised you liked her, too (that blunt flick when dina said she wanted her to kiss her .. yeah that ellie)

✶ she's just the bestest, silliest, nerdiest girl ever and the best girlfriend literally anyone could ask for 💞💞

hey guys back with another banger hope you guys enjoyed make sure to like follow and subscribe‼️ no but seriously give me opinions because i love hearing you guys have little convos and the reposts are always so wild 😭😭 thank you new jersey, and goodnight (also don't look at the tags im shy) as alwaysss creds to @ cafekitsune bc these dividers are so mf cute

[celestie0]

so are ihm gojo and kickoff gojo buff asf like post prison realm gojo or are they built like him pre prison realm cause if it’s post CHAIN ME DOWN NOWW

honestly when i both read and write for gojo i only ever picture buff gojo in post prison realm 😅 i just like guys that have nice arms (beefy biceps n strong arms in general w pretty veins <3 are literally the hottest thing ever to me) if you ever wonder “huh ellie really mentions gojo’s arms a lot in her writing 🤔” please excuse me my coochie was drenched picturing how his arms would look in the scene and i ended up subconsciously including the description in the writing

i’m not all too crazy for abs but like nice thicc arms n thighs 😫🤌🏼 and broad shoulders but a lean waist 🙈 sorry idk why i started fiending while answering this ask HAHAH

i have been sent a lot of incredible fanart that my readers have said reminded them of kickoff gojo n ihm gojo n a lot of them are really accurate to how i picture them while writing but i never saved them 🥲 so i just quickly found some pics/fanart that i think kinda represent them 😭 LOL i ended up getting a lil too into this haha sorry

yea kickoff gojo is basically cheeky post prison realm gojo w the slutty tiny waist n the athletic build n he just has that really boyish attitude all the time hahah:

his moodboard that i made for him is also how i picture him!! and then some fanart i think kinda reminds me of him is these:

1: @/_3aem on twt; 2: @/momoya348 on twt

pls he’s literally just black compression shirt gojo i guess HAHAHAH

for ihm gojo i think his drip n vibe is kinda similar to gojo in the baseball episode 😭 just woozy easy going suburban dad that’s just there to have a good time n can never tell when people are annoyed by him LMFAO but also he can be pretty serious mostly when he’s mad or concerned or inconvenienced (like shibuya arc gojo when he locked tf in…without the feral mania tho 💀)

n yea some fanart on how i picture him overall:

1: @/_3aem on twt; 2: @/tiyu0710 on twt

pls im sorry bb i know your question was such a simple one but then i just took it n RAN haha i think maybe bc i realized i’ve never actually shared how i picture them as the author?? lol so i figured i’d use your ask as an opportunity to!! hope this answers 🤣💕 much love from me!!

[elliesmainhoe]

ellie x grunge/goth!reader hcs?? <3

Ellie Williams Headcanons: Grunge/Goth!Reader

Grunge

So I feel like modern Ellie also dresses kinda grunge, very much like she does in the canon post-apocalyptic world she already lives in.

Ripped shirts, scratched up boots, the works.

You both share a very large vinyl collection <3

Ellie and you both have very complex tastes in music. You guys like absolutely everything.

Rock from the 70s, indie from the 2010s, orchestral pieces from the 40s. Absolutely. Everything.

You own a German shepherd (idk why I thought of that, but you do)

Look at the baby 😭

Painting eachother's nails <3

Hers are black ofc, maybe ones white on occasion.

You usually let her pick the colour for your nails. (Usually a mess of chaotic colours that only work together because Ellie did it.

Goth

She thinks your so cool

OMG if you wear makeup that's pale and black bold eyeliner

Example:

You let her try and replicate your makeup. Never again.

Spilled eyeliner, smudges of powder, makeup stains on hoodies.

Corsets are the bane of your existence. The amount of times you've had to say "Ells can you fasten me up?"

You loved this fucking dress, the stupid, flowy, black, knee length dress. It was beautiful- it had all the amazing witchy, gothic, grungy vibes you'd been looking for.

However beauty is pain, and the top half was fitted with a structured intricate lace covered corset. And unfortunately for you fate was not on your side, hence the very uncomfortable position you were currently in.

Your left arm trying desperately to tighten the strings, spinning around in circles like a dog chasing its tail, but a human... Trying to fasten your clothes....

"ughh... Am I interrupting something..?"

"shut up." You grumbled looking over at Ellie who was leaning against the bedroom doorframe, head bowing down to try and conceal the amused expression in her face.

"just get over here and tie me up." You said, face turning red as you realized the connotations of what you had just said

"yes ma'am"

Black cat and black cat vibes.

You two basically are always just chilling, her doing one thing and you doing another in comfortable silence

Very cute dynamic. I approve ✔️

--------------

Taglist:@aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @prettypeoniesx @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm @hi2647 @gumdropkoo @coffeeandbookskeepmealive @womaniza @namgification @kimiisims-blog @tayyyystan @abigaillovestoread @whoreshores @kylieeluvstlou @knowitsforthebetterr @endureher @erikaar @lanasluverr @sayah13

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Ellie Williams x Reader request: Ellie and the Reader are engaged and they have set the date and they get married in Jackson and they go to their favorite spot outside of Jackson and have a nice day together before they have a family dinner back in Jackson, then after dinner they head home and make love to each other for the first time as a married couple.

Till Death Us Do Part (Ellie Williams x Reader)

Author´s Note: I hope I made your request justice! I tried my best, so I hope it's kinda how you imagined it. It´s a little bit more focused on the wedding itself, idk if that's what you meant. I think it's pretty cute. Also, this is mostly focused on a Christian wedding. That's the only one I kinda know anything about. Sorry if that goes against your religion, but I hope you can look past that and enjoy this story anyway. I tried to remove the super Christian stuff in hopes to not trigger anyone. Also also, I believe we never get to know Ellie’s middle name. I know traditionally you say the whole name, first-, middle-, and last name. But since I didn’t find Ellie’s I figured I should skip the reader´s too, to be more symmetrical. I tried to make the ceremony a little more ”simple” then a traditional one. I don´t think they’d be able to have a super, over-the-top wedding at Jackson. Still some details I couldn’t stop myself from including. I hope it’s pretty realistic. 

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story includes smut that might not be suitable for a younger audience!

(y/l/n) = your last name

Words: 5827

”Suck it in” your sister said as she zipped up your dress. You felt the fabric hugging your figure as the zipper glide along your spine. You mumbled a ”thank you" before walking up to the mirror on the other side of the room. You let your eyes glance over the long, white dress decorating your body. You trace your fingers over the fabric, feeling the texture of the lace against your fingertips. ”Wow” you let out in a state of shock. Your sister laughs as she comes up behind you to look at your reflection, ”I think it fits you”. ”It´s perfect” you quickly added. The dress wasn’t in fact yours. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a wedding dress in the apocalypse. Apparently that isn’t peoples most prized possession, which makes sense. Therefore people didn’t prioritized taking it with them when they had to leave their homes. But Maria heard about your plans and was quick to let you know she had a dress she gladly let you borrow.

You turned around to quickly glance at the back of the dress before turning to your sister. ”So, what is Ellie wearing?” she asked while readjusting the crown braid she’s done in your hair. You chuckle as the memory of Ellie’s reaction when you showed her what she would be wearing. She gave you free hands when it came to the wedding, knowing how important it was for you. And she just wants you to be happy. Also, you can only do so much with a wedding in a separated village under these circumstances. To her, it didn’t matter if you would get married in a ditch, as long as it’s with you. But when you asked her to wear a linen shirt you apparently hit a nerve. Like you said, the wedding dress was a pain in the ass as it is, but Ellie’s outfit would be even harder to fix. So when you finally found something that matched your vision you had already compromised enough. ”I´m not wearing that!” Ellie said as she eyed the white linen shirt on the hanger. You frowned and tilted the shirt to you, to look at it again. As if you hadn’t inspected it enough. ”Why not?” you asked confused. You thought about Ellie when picking it out, and thought it would look really good on her. 

”It’s uncomfortable” Ellie explained. You frowned, confused ”Uncomfortable? This is like the softest fabric you could find as a shirt. You’ve got tank tops that’s less comfortable then this!”. ”But they look cool” she mumbled. You rolled your eyes at her stubbornness. This feels more like a conversation between a mom and her 14 year old son when she asks him to not wear his cap on his school photo, rather then two grown up partners talking about their wedding outfits. You looked to the side annoyed ”Oh, so what do you plan to wear? Your outwashed, grey hoodie?”. Ellie looks at you with hopeful eyes ”Is that an option?”. ”No!” you bluntly as you pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyingness. Trying your best to not have a argument with her about a goddam shirt! You knew the planing of the wedding have left you with a short temper. You're just very stressed, and having issues with things you though would get through smoothly isn’t helping. 

Ellie looks at the shirt again and feels the fabric between her fingers. ”Are you sure there’s nothing else I can wear?” she tried again with a pleading voice. You sighed, ”Ellie, it’d one day. One day in your whole life you need to wear something else then your regular stuff”. Ellie bits her lips as she’s thinking. You walk up to her, wrapping your arms around her torso, ”Please. For me” you added, knowing she would give in. Ellie always wants to be good for you, not that you use this as a weapon against her often. But some situations requires certain methods. Ellie sighed before finally giving in. ”Fine” she said with a little bit of a pissed-off tone. You know, the same tone a three year old has whenever they realized their mom won’t give in and buy the toy they’ve been begging for for the past few hours. She eyed the clothing items again ”I’ll wear them if I can have my converse”. She looked back at your shocked face, ”Ellie you can’t-”. You bite your lip, stopping yourself from starting another argument. You've got her to wear the outfit you’ve pick. How many will pay attention to her shoes?. ”Fine” you said as you looked at her with an annoyed expression. But Ellie couldn't care less. Right after your replay, she first-bumped the air like a 10 year old boy, mumbling ”yes” at her ”victory”. You couldn’t help but smile at your silly girlfriend. 

Your sister finished knotting the last few flowers in the braid before backing away to observe her work. She gives you a handgesture in approval along with a silly, matching facial expression. You just giggle at her. You get up from the chair, straighten out any wrinkles that has appeared on the dress from sitting down. Your sister helped you put on your heels before grabs the bouquet she picked for you on the table, and hands it to you. You smile down on it before grabbing it with your left hand. ”You ready?” she asked, to which you nod. She opened the door and took the lead down the hall. As you got closer to the main room you’d be married in you felt the nerves catching up with you. Up till now it just felt like your sister had been helping you get ready for some celebration. Just having some sister-time. But when you were met by the wooden doors everything was crystal clear. You could hear the slight mumbling of the people on the other side. ”Let’s do this!” your sister said as she gave you her arm. You nodded as you locked your arm with hers. The piano stared to play the song you choose, making your heart rate go up even more. You’re pretty sure you could see your heart beating though your dress at this point. You took a deep breath before walking up to the door. As you neared the double-doors they open and you’re met with a bunch of eyes settled on you. The nerves makes you grab the stem of the bouquet harder.

As you’re walking down the aisle you take your time to look out over the people who has formed to celebrate this special day with you. Maria, who let her eyes wonder over the dress before her eyes meets up with yours to give you a proud smile. It´s the first time she’s seen the dress since her own wedding 23 years ago. A few benches ahead sits Tommy, feeling such emotions like it’s his own daughter walking down the aisle. You swore you could see his eyes being glossy. As you looked to the other side you saw someone who didn’t even try to hold her emotions intact. Dina let tears roll down her cheeks, not even trying to wipe them off with the soaked tissue in her hand. She’s so happy Ellie finally found a nice girl who truly cared for her. Being someone with so much love to give, finally finding someone who would give you equally as much back. Dina remembers the first time Joel introduced you to her and Ellie. She could see, based on Ellie’s expression, that you would be the girl she´d marry. So, ever since that day she’s been your biggest supporter, both before and after you got together. In Dina’s lap sits JJ, happily bouncing along to the music. A chuckle leaves your lips as you watch the ecstatic young guy.

Finally you look straight ahead, following the aisle till your eyes met with the figure at the end of it. There she is, your wife-to-be. Her eyes hasn’t left you ever since you walked through the door. Her red eyes told you she’s been crying the hold time. If her glossy cheeks wasn't proof enough. You break out a smile as your eyes met hers, and you couldn’t help but to feel your own eyes filling up. Your eyes glance at the outfit she’s wearing, looking just like you’ve imagined it. She’s so handsome. You let out a shaky breath in hopes to collect your emotions. You can't both be a crying mess up there. It´s funny ’cause you told Ellie about a week ago that you wouldn’t cry. And continued explaining how you’ve seen Titanic around ten times and hasn’t spilled a single tear. Ellie just chuckled before mumbling ”we will see”.

Your sister leads you up the alter, shaking Ellie’s hand before ”handing you over”. Ellie's smile grew even wider as her shaky hands grabs yours. She leads you further up the alter to the position Maria told her to during the rehearsal. Your sister made sure to re-adjust the skirt of the dress before taking a seat at the front row. Ellie leans in and mumbles ”You look so pretty. I can´t believe you’re real”. You giggle ”You don´t look so bad yourself, handsome”. Ellie bushed at your nickname, nervously looks down at her beaten-up shoes. She’s adorable. The priest started talking ”We have gathered here to witness the marriage between Ellie Williams and (y/n) (y/l/n)”. As the priest continued his regular dialog you and Ellie sneak glances of each other, giggling like two school girls. Then the priest asks ”Do you have the rings?”. ”Sure thing!” Ellie gladly answer while putting her hand into the left pocket of her pants. She pulls out two golden bands. They’re no way near new, so they have a few scratches, but Ellie has tried her absolute best to make them as shiny as possible. She hands you one of them, but misinterprets the coordination and therefore miss your hand. ”Fuck!” Ellie mumbles enough for both of you to hear as the ring falls to the ground. You smack her in the arm. She shoots her head to your direction with a questionable look. ”Don’t swear in church!” you whisper-yell to her. She nodded before picking up the ring and hand it to you. ”I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Ellie apologized switching her gaze between you and the priest. 

She cleared her throat before grabbing your left hand. ”Say after me, ’I, Ellie Williams’” the priest began. ”I, Ellie Williams” Ellie repeated. ”Take you, (y/n) (y/l/n) to be my wife”, ”Take you, (y/n) (y/l/n) to be my wife”. ”To have and to hold from this day forward”, ”To have and to hold from this day forward”. ”For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”, ”For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. ”To love and to cherish, till death us do part”, ”To love and to cherish, till death us do part” Ellie finished with a proud smile on her face as she slide the ring on your finger, happy she didn’t fucked it up. ”Now you (y/n), take Ellie’s hand and repeat after me ’I, (y/n) (y/l/n)’”. You grabbed Ellie's hand and said ”I, (y/n) /y/l/n)”. ”Take you, Ellie Williams to be my wife” ”Take you, Ellie Williams to be my wife”. You could see the tears in Ellie’s eyes about to spill over as she observed your words. The priest continued ”To have and to hold from this day forward”, ”To have and to hold this day forward”. ”For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”, ”For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. ”To love and cherish, till death us do part”, ”To love and cherish, till death us do part” you copied before breathing out. You put the ring on Ellie’s finger, sealing the deal. You grabbed each other’s hands, just like before, only now they’re decorated with two shiny rings. 

”And so now, by the power invested in me, it is my honor to dicer you wife and wife”. You rub your thumbs along the back of Ellie’s veiny hands as you inspected her face. Two sentences away from being able to call her yours. ”You may now kiss” the priest proudly announced. You softly place your hands on either side of Ellie’s face as she grabs your waist. She pulls you closer, automatically moving your lips closer to each other. You look into her eyes one last time before closing the gap. Ellie tired not to moan into the kiss, thinking it’s inappropriate to do so with all these people in the room. But your soft, delicately colored lips sure made it hard for her. She deepened the kiss, but held herself back from going too far. You pulled back and smiled widely at each other. Even a giggle left your lips as it was hard to hide the blissfulness you felt inside. You grab Ellie’s right hand before turning to face the crowed. You made a silly face as you showed the ring to the people. ”Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to present to you Mrs and Mrs Williams” they cheered as you walked down the aisle with much calmer expressions then the first time. Still the adrenaline was no way near gone. You could hear Ellie let out a sigh of relief, one she had held in since she put her foot on the alter. You leaned in and mumbled ”We’re married now!” mimicking her behavior from before. She turned to look at you and give you a full-teethed smile.

_

You looked down at the ring as the cheerful music plays in the background. You smiled to yourself, having a hard time grasping what just happened. ”Congrats, now you’re stuck with her forever!”, you snapped up to see Dina. She had JJ on her hip, but he seemed more interested at the dancing people then you. You laughed as you pulled her into a hug, making the baby turn his head to you. You ruffled his hair before turning back to Dina, ”And I wouldn’t want it any other way”. She made a disgusted face ”Ugh, stop it or I’ll throw up”. You gave her a playful smack on her unoccupied arm. ”Talking about throwing up, did she tell you she was gonna wear those shoes?” she asked, pointing to the spoken of behind you. You turned your head as if you needed to look to know what Dina was talking about. It was honestly just an excuse to steal a glance at your gorgeous, now, wife. You let out a laugh before throwing out your arms in a defeated motion ”Unfortunately I did, but I had no choice”. Dina sighed ”I swear, if she weren’t going to marry you she would have married those fucking shoes”. You chuckled at the not so unbelievable statement. JJ made a sound, making you both turn your focus on him. ”Actually, could you hold him for a sec. I really need to pee” Dina announced, earning a laugh from you at her bluntness. You nod your head along with a ”of course”. She carefully handed him over to you, helping you to hold him in a comfortable position before heading to the toilets. ”Come on, JJ. Let´s see who’s here” you said to the happy face resting against your chest, before walking into the crowed.

Ellie took another sip from her beer as she looked over the room, watching all the people dancing and having fun. She couldn’t believe she’s actually married now. To the girl of her dreams. She snapped out of her thoughts as someone pats her shoulder along with ”Congrats, kiddo!”. She looked at the direction of the voice to see Tommy smiling at her. Ellie gave him a smile back along with a ”thank you”. He took a stand beside her, looking at the same direction as her. He look around the room and chuckled ”Who knew you would get married?”. Ellie gave him a chuckle back before shrugging her shoulders ”I´m lucky, I guess”. ”Call it luck or whatever, you found yourself a catch”. Ellie smiled for herself, proud to have you in her life. Even just the thought of you would bring up her mood no matter what. Tommy turned to look at Ellie ”I know Joel would be proud”. Ellie snapped her head at the mentioning of his name. ”Y-you think?” she hesitantly asked. Tommy smiled at her, ”I know. Heck, he would be balling his eyes out more then I did!” he jokingly said, trying to light up the mood. But Ellie was all up in her thoughts, trying to hold back her emotions as good as possible. She just huffed.

”Are you talking shit about me?”, thank god she got snapped out of her thoughts as you came up to them. Ellie smiled at you, like she always did whenever she hadn’t seen you in a while. ”Oh, I didn’t know you were expecting” Tommy joked as he let JJ grab his finger. ”Yep. That’s why the wedding was so rushed. We had to get it over with so we could cover it up” you joked as you watched the cute interaction. Tommy gave you a chuckle. Ellie walked up to your side and gave you a kiss on the cheek before resting her hand on your back. You smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. Ellie caressed the back of the baby, earning her a big, two-teethed smile. She couldn’t help but smile back as she wonders if this is what it’d feel like to have a family with you. Seeing you hold a baby made her feel like doing some stupid, rushed decisions. She made sure to pull you a little closer to her, playing around with the thought. ”There you are! I thought you had kidnapped him” Dina comes running up. You carefully hands her back JJ, who’s trilled to be back with his mama. You continued to have unimportant conversations until Dina informed ”We should probably head home, JJ´s really tired”. ”He´s starting to get a little grumpy” she said in a baby-voice as she bounced him in her arms. You nodded before giving her a hug, ”Well, thank you so much for coming”. ”Of course! I wouldn’t want to miss this day. Plus there’s not that much happening around here anyways”, you laughed as you pulled away. Dina went over to Ellie and hugged her too, whispering something in her ear. Your nosiness got cut off, ”Yeah, I should probably head home too. Need to prepare” Tommy announce before giving the new wedded couple a hug too. ”Remember, dinners at mine!” he chanted before leaving the building. ”Yes, sir!” Ellie answered before you both started laughing. 

Then, when you were finally alone you walked up around Ellie and wrapped your arms around her waist, ”What are you doing?" she chuckled as she put her hands on top of yours. ”I don´t know” you shrugged as you rested your chin on her left shoulder. You just stood there for a while, taking in each other’s presence. You both had a hard time understanding this would be the rest of your lifes. ”I love you” you finally cut the silence. Even from your angle you could see the smile on Ellie’s face, ”I love you, too”. ”Despite what you think, I think you look really hot in this outfit” you confessed as you planted soft kisses along her neck. You felt Ellie tense at the unexpected touch, ”Y-yeah, I guess it wasn’t too bad” she stuttered as the blush started to take over her face. ”Really?” you asked. ”So I can expect to see you wearing this some other time?” you whispered in her ear. ”Hell no!” she bluntly said, earning a laugh from you. You pulled back, ”Yeah, yeah. I guess I’ll just have to take a mental picture of you like this”, you spun her around so you could see her from the front. You unconsciously bit your lip as you shamelessly let your eyes wander over Ellie’s form. Not only taking notice of the clothes, but her toned body underneath it. God, I wish I could just rip them off and take her right here! ”Come on, stop it! It doesn’t look that good” Ellie chuckled as she waved her hands in front of her, to make you stop looking. The embarrassment finally taking over. You caught her hands, but your eyes never left her body. ”You’re not seeing what I’m seeing” you bluntly said as you licked your lips. ”Oh, shush you” Ellie playfully grabbed you, but you swore you could see the effect your words was having on her. 

”We should probably head to Tommy’s” you announced. Ellie sighed ”Do we have to go?”. You snapped your head at her ”Yeah, we do. He’s doing it for our sake. To celebrate our marriage”. ”But I’m tired!” she whined letting her head fall back. ”You can sleep when you’re dead” you said jokingly as you drag her to the exit. ”Plus, I need to pee first, and you need to help me hold up the dress”

_

Since neither you or Ellie had a huge amount of family and friends at Jackson you decided pretty early you would skip out on the ”dinner”-part of the wedding reception, and instead just let people dance and have fun at the local pub. Neither you or Ellie likes to be the center of attention, so if you could avoid it as much as possible, you will. But as soon as Tommy heard about it he insisted on making a little family dinner for just your closest ones. And when Tommy has set his mind to something, he will do it. So you headed over there, to celebrate more intimate with Dina, your sister and Tommy, of course. But to be honest, it all was a bit of a haze. You know for yourself you were lacking a lot of sleep from the previous night, and you figured Ellie was dealing with the same issue. The nerves made it impossible for you to fall asleep any earlier then 5pm. Plus… you two got a little tipsy. Fuck it, it’s your wedding day! You only get married once (hopefully). As you were saying your ”goodbye”s and ”thank you”s to everyone your conscience were a little more present. You gave everyone a wave before stumbling out the alongside Ellie. Dina muttered at your drunken state. She turned to Tommy ”If they’re not home by ten, I’ll check up on them. Making sure they haven’t fallen into a ditch or something”

You wandered down Tommy’s porch as the fresh air hits you. Making you more aware of your intoxicated state. Ellie tugged you along as you made you’re way to your shared hut. Despite being July, there were a few chilly winds whizzing in the evening. Or maybe it’s just the contrast from your warm bodies. Lucky you, Tommy’s house wasn’t far away from yours. So it felt like no time before you put your feet on your own porch. Ellie fumbled with the keys as she giggled drunkenly to herself. Finally she opened the door, gesturing for you to walk in first. You bowed down jokingly, but almost lost your balance. Ellie burst out laughing before shoving you into the house and close the door behind her. You let the jacket you wore fall off your shoulders and fall to the ground. Telling yourself it’s a problem for tomorrow before making your way further into the house, to your shared bedroom.

”Finally I can get this thing off!” Ellie lets out a groan as she button-up her shirt. She slides it off her arms and lays it neatly against the back of a chair. Now only in her linen pants and the thank top she always wore as a bra. You kick off your high heels before throwing yourself onto your shared bed. Letting out loud sigh. Ellie turn around to look at your laying figure. ”I’m so full” you whined while tracing your hands over your stomach. The aching feeling in your feet almost feels pulsating. They sure would feel swore tomorrow. Ellie smirk as she made her way over to you. She jumps on the bed beside you, turning on her side and prompting her head on one arm. She looks down at your peaceful face, inspection the perfection she gets to call her wife. The flowers your sister had put into your hair were mostly gone, and the few who were still there were looking really sad. Yet, you look like an angel to Ellie. The more she takes in your gorgeous appearance her admiration turns into something else. Lust. ”I´m still hungry” Ellie said with a teasing tone as her eyes wanders over the shape of your body. You scrunched your brows together, eyes still closed ”What? What could you possibly be craving?” you asked, oblivious to Ellie actual meaning. ”You” Ellie added with a husky tone. You open up your eyes at her answer, turning to look at her. Her hungry eyes told you everything you needed to know. 

She traced her unoccupied hand over your clothed stomach, going further down. She scrunched up the skirt of the dress making it less of a reach to slide her hand underneath it. Feeling your soft, naked thighs underneath her palm made her even more aroused. She starts to leave sweet kisses along your neck, going further and further up till she meets your lips. You grab the side of her face as you deepen the kiss. Ellie grabs the fat of your hips, intentionally avoiding the place you want her the most. She pull away from the kiss. Without saying a word you still got the memo. You raise up from your bed, turning your back to Ellie. She glide the zipper down your back, feeling like a teenage-boy as the naked skin underneath made her wetter by the second. You let the dress fall to the ground and stepped out of it. Ellie pushed the scrunched up dress to the side, using her foot. You turn around to meet her eyes again, now only dressed in your white, lace panties. ”The underwear match the dress, I see” Ellie more so stated as she let her hands fall on your hips. She couldn’t help but stare at your, now, naked boobs. She titled her head up to give them each a gentle kiss. Her slightly chapped lips made such a delicious contrast against your sensitive skin.

When you’ve had enough you pushed her back onto the bed. Her legs hanging off the bed as her back was pressed against the soft cover. You let your hands traced up both her thighs, passing her heat and up to the button of her pants. As you open up her pants you made sure to grab the elastic of her panties and drag them along with her pants, off her legs. Without thinking Ellie spread her legs. Allowing you to see her gorgeous pussy. She always gets flustered when you tell her she has a pornstar-pussy. Sometimes you wished you could just take a picture of it and hang it on your wall. To examine it like a piece of art. You pushed your arousal aside and pushed her legs together. Ellie gave you a confused look. You payed no attention to it as you took a seat on her lap. The only thing separation your cunts from touching was a piece of thin, white, lace. You hover over her, putting your hands on each side of her head before lowering down and kiss her. You let her take control since you were busy feeling her out. You just let your hands wander over her body freely. Not stopping them. Ellie moaned into the messy make-out as she grabbed the fat of your thighs to drag you against her. You pushed up her bra so you could squeeze her small, yet adorable, breasts in your hand. From previous experience you know she likes it when you apply quite some pressure, so you don´t stop until you hear the familiar groan. This isn’t the first time you’ve had sex with each other, but for some reason you feel a little more nervous then before. Like, still this is something different. It’s the first time as a married couple.

You got off Ellie, and without saying anything she got up. She took off her bra properly, tossing it along with the rest of your clothes. Before getting back on the bed she decided to drag off your underwear too. Ellie crawled onto the bed and took a sat behind you. She turned you over so you were sitting between her leg, pulling you towards her so your back was pressed against her chest. You could feel her hard nipples graze against your naked back. She gave your left shoulder some light pecks as her right hands traced down your stomach. You couldn’t help as your breath got quicker, heavier. Ellie's hand went down to your cunt, tracing her fingers along your lips in a teasing manner. She spread them, letting the cold air come in contact with your warm walls. ”Please, Ellie. Stop with the goddamn teasing” you whined out with a pissed tone. Ellie let out a chuckle behind you ”So needy…” she teased. ”…I like it” she mumbled in your ears, visibly making you shiver. She traced her index finger along your slit, gathering your wetness for lube. She groaned ”fuck” when she noticed just how wet you were. She slowly slide in her index finger into your wet pussy. You threw your head back on Ellie’s shoulder, mouth hanging open. Your needy hole finally being filled by your girlfriend's long, slender finger. 

It wasn’t till she pushed it to the brim the high-pitched moan that had treated to come out finally did. Ellie made sure to slide it in and out a few more times before quickening the pace. She knows you like it fast and hard. Only slowing down to add another finger before going back to her previous pace. You closed your eyes shut as the pleasure was so good now. Ellie made sure to slam them in hard, to the point where your thighs would shake. She felt you squeezing her, but decided to add one last finger. She wants to make sure you're filled. You bit your lips and unintentionally squeezed your thighs together. ”Ah-ah” Ellie warned as she stopped only to separate your legs again. ”How do you expect me to make my wife feel good with your legs are closed?” she said in a pitiful voice. Like she’s talking to a child. The only answer that left your lips were a whine. She grabbed your left hand, making your rings cling against each other. She figured she could comfort you that away, while still drilling her fingers into your swollen pussy. Cause she knows, despite your whines and cries, you love it. ”Don’t worry, babe. You're doing amazing” she encouraged you before continuing to slide her fingers into you. You look down between your legs and sees the veins on Ellie’s hand twitch as she pounds her fingers into your dripping cunt. A moan leaves your mouth just by the sight. You’ve always loved her hands. Whenever you’d had the chance to have them on you, you took it. 

Your unoccupied hand went to your back, sliding down till you felt Ellie’s wet core. She jumped at the unexpected touch. You teased her a little bit before sliding in two fingers into her. She threw her head back as a thirsty moan leaves her lips. She stopped her motion between your legs, having a hard time focusing on anything except your fingers. You curl them up to grace her g-spot continuously. You feel her legs squeezing you in the position you´re in, making you smirk for yourself. She tightened her grip on your intertwined hands, not knowing what to do with all this pleasure. Ellie swore she could cum on the spot, so she picked up the pace of her fingers. Hoping to make you cum along with her. You couldn’t do much more this angle, but based on Ellie’s whimpers in your ear you think she don't mind. ”Don´t stop (y/n)!” she whined, but the speed of her fingers weren’t affected. You were impressed. Ellie lets go off your hand to switch. You quickly soaked her three fingers as they effortlessly slide in, quickly finding the same pace as her right hand. You felt the cold metal of her ring against your entrance. Making a nice contrast from your heat. Ellie force you to look back at her, using her right hand. She kissed you as your wetness smear against your left cheek. You put you thumb on Ellie’s clit, really wanting her to come over the edge. She jolts at the unexpected adding of pressure.

Ellie moves away from your lips to place small, loving kisses across your left shoulder. ”Come on now, cum for your wife” she mumbles against your skin. You whimper as you grab a hold of her wrist. You could feel your heart rate increasing as the knot in your stomach snaps. A high-pitched moan leaves your mouth as you throw your head back on Ellie’s shoulder. She watch your face as you come undone, bitting her lip at the aroused sight in front of her. A sight she sure would think back on when she’s on patrol without you. Having some alone time. You cum on her fingers, covering her ring in your arousal. She pulled them out and put them in your mouth. You sucked them off as you continued to pump yours in her. Ellie came with some whined moans not so long after. Taking you with her as she fell onto the bed, arching her back as you continued to finger her. You felt her clenching around you, milking herself of her orgasm. You pulled your fingers out, looking at the glistering liquid covering your fingers. You could feel Ellie looking at you with half-lidded eyes from behind you. Her hands hugging your figure as she tried to collect herself. You turned over, so you were facing Ellie. Her breath hitched as you hip hit her sensitive clit. You made sure to give her a smile before resting your head on her chest. You listened as her heartbeat slowed down to it’s usual pace. Ellie slide you up, making your breasts press against hers. She nestled her face into your neck before mumbling ”I’m so happy to call you ’my wife’”.

[marveinator]

Afraid- Ellie Williams (4)

Afraid- Ellie Williams (Part 4)

part 3 -> masterlist

Summary: You decide to make the deal a real thing and go over to Ellie´s house...

A/N: I listened to girl in red while writing this. FINALLY STH IS HAPPENING! It´s short but the next chapter will be out tmrw or the day after tmrw, I´ll see how much time I will have to write. BYE!

Chapter warnings: flirting, fighting, idk... LMAO

I turned around and slowly opened my eyes. It was hot and I immediately decided to get rid of the sweater I was wearing. As I sat upright in my bed I noticed how my head began to hurt. I looked down at myself. A gray sweater. Definitely not mine, but the one from-.

"Fuck."

Ellie. I was wearing Ellie's sweater.

As if in one fell swoop, I remembered everything that had happened yesterday. Ellie. Me. Together. Kiss. Well, almost a kiss. But still. Just the thought that I had considered kissing her made me shiver. And then also that smoking had been my idea and I had thus caused everything, didn't make the whole situation any better.

On the contrary, I felt like shit. Sure, it had been nice with her, but where would a kiss have led? She would never talk about it again anyway and… how did I even know I liked girls in that way?

Ellie Williams POV I woke up with rays of sunshine on my face, which surprised me because it was usually really cold, it was winter after all. Slowly I moved from my bed and went to the window, I had forgotten to close the curtains. Today I had no patrol, which is why I actually wanted to sleep in. However, I could only sleep fragilely tonight.

I remembered only a part of what had happened yesterday, so I decided not to write any details in my diary. I opened the book that was placed on my bedside table, dug for a pen and began.

With a sigh I closed the book again. No chance that after last night things between me and her would ever be good again (they never really were, but still). A pickup line was not exactly the best way to settle a murder. Well, looking at it that way, could a murder even be settled at all? Probably not.

I shook my aching head and, to my disappointment, made myself take off her shirt.

Then I remembered something. We had a deal. A date, almost. Today, with me, a duel. Funny way to hang out, but it had been her idea after all, so the only question was whether she even remembered it and if yes, if she would come over...

your POV I had to go to Ellie. Well, I had suggested the "duel" after all. And besides, deep inside I wanted to go to her, too. I wanted to prove to her that I could fight (and I was sure I would do and say stuff that I would probably regret but fuck it, you only live once, right?).

When I stood in front of the big brown door in front of Ellie's house, I felt queasy. Was this really a good idea? Overthinking everything. Like I always did. Now I was already here and I would go through it.

Cautiously I knocked on the door. As if in one fell swoop, it was torn open and Ellie was standing in front of me.

"Oh. Hi," she said shyly. I smiled and returned a soft "Hey."

Cautiously, I stepped inside and Ellie moved aside to let me go through the entrance. "Uh- where do I put my shoes?", I asked and Ellie pointed to the floor under the coat rack where two jackets were hanging.

Carefully, I put my shoes down there and followed Ellie, who was on her way to the living room. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean-isn't it a little… I don´t know- childish?", Ellie asked.

I shook my head. "It was a deal, wasn't it? Besides, the idea that you think I'm weak bothers me quite a bit." Ellie's eyes widened and she had that grin on her face again, as if in an instant. "Oh, and why does that bother you so much?" She moved a little closer and stood in front of me. She was tall and I felt a little intimidated, but tried not to let it show.

"Are we going to start or not?", I interrupted her, "Any rules?" The girl in front of me thought for a while before replying, "Well, no one should die, but it won't come to that anyway. And maybe not break any bones?" I giggled and nodded, so Ellie was scared after all? "But- I won't go easy on you." Yeah right. She should probably be more afraid of ME. I mean I would already have a reason to want to kill her. But to my surprise I didn't want to do that at all right now, I just wanted to prove something to Ellie.

"Well, Els, let's get started then?"

Ellie Williams POV Els. She had given me a nickname… cute. Before I could answer anything, I felt my arm being twisted behind my back and suddenly my front was pressed firmly against the wall. "Woah, woah, slow there babe." The girl behind me just laughed and tried to trip me up. This time, however, I was faster and managed to turn around. With full force I let my leg slide under hers and so managed to make her fall down. Now she was lying on her back and I quickly crawled on top of her so that I was sitting on her in the area of her hip. I took both her arms with one hand and pressed them above her head so that she could not fight back. "That's unfair, I wanted to kick your ass all week," sighed the girl under me. "Well, this whole situation just shows that I'm stronger," I replied and had to grin.

your POV "Move your hands, Ellie." The brunette on top of me immediately let go of my arms and sat up a little straighter (still on top of me).

"Always on top huh?" The words left my mouth without me even thinking about it. Ellie's facial expression changed abruptly, almost as if she was in a state of shock. She didn't seem to know what to say now, so I said "Would you also get yourself off of me again sometime?" to distract from my previous question. Ellie got off of me and sat on the floor next to me. I sat upright as well, so I was back across from her. "I'm never going to stop talking about this" Ellie giggled. "What?", I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She leaned in closer and I felt that weird feeling in my stomach again. This couldn't be happening…. and this time I wasn't even high-

"I'm better than you at fighting," she whispered. I felt warmth shoot into my cheeks and I suddenly I forgot everything around me. There was just Ellie again. Only her.

"Really good for you Els, but I think there are a lot of things that I am better at than YOU…", I explained to her. She grinned again and leaned even closer to me, almost as if she was going to-

"Shut up for once, babe."

Ellie Williams POV It's Now or Never. I leaned in further and felt our lips touch. A comforting warmth shot through my body, one I hadn't felt in a long time. I carefully put my hand on her cheek and also noticed how she leaned in closer.

After a while we let go of each other and looked into each other's eyes. A smile formed, to my satisfaction, on her lips. "Yeah, Liam definitely wasn't a good kisser-" I had to laugh now as well, finally feeling complete again. That one kiss had healed so much that was broken inside of me. This girl could fix me, I just knew it.

"You should go now, babe, Maria and Tommy are probably wondering where you are…", I said as I brushed a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. She nodded in an understanding way and stood up.

Before she walked out the door she turned around and stared at me.

"Ellie," her soft voice said. "Yes?" She looked down at the floor and began to play nervously with her fingers. "Don't make me regret this." I sighed and nodded.

"I'll do my best."

[typewriter83]

First of all, glad to see you're back❤️ secondly... I've read chapter nine and I have a lot of things to tell.

First, I was mad at jesse before but now I'm extra mad at him lmao. Last chapter he was acting like dina was at his place and he said he told dina about the kissing, but none of that was true wow. Such a fricking manipulator and for what😭👍 also, I wasn't expecting Dina's story to be like that... Actually I was, I just wasn't expecting Talia in the middle of this. Part of me think that... Well, dina telling maria even before she met ellie would have been the smart thing to do, but I also won't judge because david is the only to blame here.

The bathtub scene was so cute somehow. Just picturing him crouched talking with ellie while she's venting to him on that bathtub while drinking the tea he made for her is something special. Like she's his religion and he's just there; meeting all her needs.

The rest... The rest of the chapter reminds me of that tlou meme gif where ellie opens the door and everything is pure chaos (I hope you know what gif I'm talking about because otherwise I would feel shy rn lol). So, things escalated very quickly: in one moment the pastor was exchanging barbs with joel while tommy was more lost than a nun on her honeymoon, and in another second, ellie's reaction to david invoked something primal and full alpha on joel (which I'm sorry but it was too fucking hot) and broke david's wrist. As much as that made me go 🎉🎉 for david's wrist, that whole chaos shouldn't have happened... Because joel getting all riled up in front of tommy even before david insinuated anything, ellie getting out of his house in his shirt and joel getting agressive and defensive over ellie, All of this, just made Joel look like the big bad wolf in front of people. At the same time, the scene that happened afterwards was... A bit funny, I'm sorry🤣 I mean, it was tense: maria is mad, tommy is confused and mad, everyone is fucking mad. But that whole scene (they mad at joel and ellie sassing maria while tommy was like "ellie, attitude!") seemed like two parents that just found out their sassy teenage girl is in case with an older man she has a crush on. Kind of reminded me of the movie "crazy stupid love" lmao. But well, back to being serious: While maria made it very clear that he never thought well of Joel, tommy is... A hard deal. Like, we can see he's questioning joel's morals and getting protective of ellie, but at the same time it's like he's not believe his brother would do something like that without genuine feelings involved but he doesn't say that out loud because his wife is his boss. I will re-read to see if I'm right, but even seemed like Joel was scowding tommy for that too when he was arguing with him behind the cells. Like when joel was "why are you letting this pastor free out there?" there was an you're letting your wife rule your head like that? unspoken. Or maybe It's just nonsense from my head, idk.

Last but not least: there was two things I wasn't waiting until this chapter: thing number 1 is the fact that our lovebirds were discovered faster than I thought they would. I mean, they started their relationship and david was a new character, I I thought that there was still some stuff to happen between both things before it all went to wind, so that's why I'm as surprised as every character was on this chapter. Thing number two: Ellie knew about David's creep head even before he did anything to her, so I thought "that's the first story that david doesn't try/doesn't have time to put his hands on ellie"... But then someone came and said there was fire at the church, and then I remembered instantly of the burning restaurant scene from the last of us and... Well, I guess this emoji is what I felt🤡🤡🤡🤡 Poor ellie, I bet something happened with her and that's why there's fire at the church. (Good thing is that joel scaped prison right now😈david might meet hell sooner than he was expecting).

*out of breath* so, that was alll tense. Got me anxious thr whole chapter, so I feel like I need to talk about the few less tense things that happened so I guess less anxious: first, joel getting all hot with that bratty behaviour🤭homegirl almost crying and joel thought that was foreplay made me laugh. Which remindes me.... When out of this shit gets calm again, are we gonna find out if the spanking talk is serious???😏cause I think sir Joel liked the idea a little too much huh. he definitely must be holding a belt in his drawer for this moment.

Also he almost said he loves her🗣️🗣️🗣️ I don't think I even have anything to say about it, don't think I could find the words.

Sweet cub, Mama Bear is sat for this. By the time you see this response, I will have been working on this since last Wednesday. Anyone who takes the time to read and analyze something I write to this degree deserves my attention.🫶🏻 maybe we can consider this the appendices to Learning to Walk - let’s dive in:

Let’s talk about Dina, Talia (who will just be a character that is mentioned in passing) and Jesse. Jesse has been in Jackson - with his mom and siblings - the longest, he has the strongest bonds (or so he believes) with the community. Dina and Talia arrived a few years back - and then David and his few survivors sometime after. For the first time in Dina’s life, she was protected, and Talia could rest knowing her sister was safe. So, imagine this young woman’s horror when her r@pist shows up to this safe community and welcomes him with open arms - Talia remembers the old world, she knows what Maria did for a living (I’m playing off show-Maria in this story, that she was a prosecutor), she knows that men like David didn’t pay for their crimes and could twist the truth to their favor. Talia is trying to protect Dina, Jesse is over protective of Dina, and Dina just wants to live her life.

That being said, this is not the Dina from part 2, this Dina - like Ellie - is younger, and they don’t know one another. Dina is protecting her sister, trying to keep them both from being kicked out of Jackson because that’s what Talia has been telling Dina could happen. Jesse, because his head is up Tommy’s ass all the time, agrees with this assessment, because Jackson operates within a very delicate balance - despite Maria believe there’s law and order, it’s really people just trying to get by, keeping their noses down and staying out of trouble.

Enter Joel. Everyone in Jackson knows the stories about Joel because Tommy is a storyteller, he wants to feel a sense of belonging, and he never thought Joel would show up in Jackson. When Joel asks Maria “why did you let me stay,” she tells him she thought he was deserving of a second chance, but in reality it’s Tommy protecting his brother. Joel tries to carve out a place for himself in Jackson, but even with a partner - Esther - he can’t settle, can’t let himself live.

Which is where the story began way back on the side of a mountain in December 2035 😉

Ellie’s been kind of off for a couple chapters - the whole world came crashing down around her shoulders - she walked into the room on fire, right? Now that things are on the mend and her fuzzy brain is starting to clear - let’s just fuck with our poor girl some more, why not, right? Because a showdown has to happen between her and David and that man (if we can fucking call him that) is not going to like that Ellie knows about Dina and Talia, and we’re assuming other girls. He thinks it’s his job to be her protector and.. oh wait, we’re not there yet! 🫢

But - the showdown is coming at the church, and we’re gonna go back to the night Joel was arrested and see those 3 days Joel was in jail from Ellie’s POV. Someone mentioned to me that this whole thing with David and Ellie happened too fast - but remember that the winter sequence happens over a matter of days, David sees Ellie and decides he’s keeping her (whether your a game follower or show follower) - so this build up was coming.

Last - but most certainly not least - our lovebirds. Yes, Joel almost said it, they got caught, and Ellie being a brat turns them both on. While I’m not gonna give away the farm, this part of the story is winding down, and will go to a resting place until the next arc starts up. Ellie being a brat will be revisited in the future. As for someone saying the L word - just to put on “But Daddy I Love Him” by Taylor Swift while you wait patiently for Chapter 10!

🫶🏻

[koitrash]

I like your voice Part 5

Who wants some angst with a small side of fluff :D yeah idk dude this one is sad i was listening to Mitski while i wrote it lol WOO LETS GO PART 5!!! :D (Y/n is a self sabotaging idiot maybe because i've been replaying tlou1)

Pairing: Ellie x reader

Warnings: Swearing, Arguing, killing some zombies, ANGST, fluff too tho

Word count: 2.9k

Sunlight beamed on your face as you slowly came to your senses, feeling an arm draped over your waist. You squinted at the bright light as your hand moved to wipe your dry eyes. Heated breath ran down the nape of your neck as you shifted to see the source. Ellie slept peacefully, face looking the most relaxed you've ever seen her. The sun kissed her skin as her lips pushed open slightly to let out a sigh. You watched her for a couple of seconds, basking in this special moment. Wishing you could count every freckle caressed upon her nose. You thought about actually doing it until sirens blazed in your head.

Rule no. 2.

No relationships, no falling in love, and definitely no tracing constellations on her face. You need to leave before she wakes up. One night stands don't kiss each other good morning and cook breakfast together. You glanced at her alarm clock next to the tv as it read 7:06 AM, just a tad bit too early to start on your assignments for today. Your escape plan was falling apart as Ellie stirred awake, moving her hand to flatten against your stomach, obviously confused on who was laying next to her. You pushed over to your back as her hand settled on your hip, her thumb swiping across your skin idly.

"Good morning." She smiled as her knuckle wiped at her eye. Sighing deeply she pushed her hand to her hair making an attempt to fix the bedhead she knew was there. Her morning voice was literally music to your ears, raspy and low.

"I know you have to go, I'll be out of your hair I promise." You sat up scoping the room for your pants.

"Hey, wait wait-" She tightened her grip on your hip, pulling you back into her warm body. She glanced at the clock, just as you did earlier. "I still got a little bit of time, you have a lot of assignments for today or something?" She joked, also knowing it was too early to get started. A soft grunt escaped her lips and she pushed herself upright, leaning towards you to place a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"You want something to eat?" Ellie asked, pushing the covers off her legs, she stood up stretching her body high. She was just in her underwear and sports bra and you wanted to throw yourself at her all over again. You thought back to last night. Skin hot and sticky, breath heavy and quick, moans lewd and erotic.

"Uhh... what are you making?" You asked. You couldn't figure out why she was being so domestic and sweet, you guys only had sex what kind of aftercare is this?

"I was thinking some eggs and bacon. Do you like eggs?" Ellie answered as she slid on gray sweatpants, now making her way to grab a pan.

"Y-yeah." You pushed off the bed making a beeline to grab your pants from yesterday.

"Do you patrol again today?" Ellie kept the conversation flowing easily.

"No, just some small assignments around the town. Are you patrolling?" You searched the room for your shirt quickly as the cold morning air nipped at your bare skin. "Hey can I borrow a shirt?"

"Yes and yes." Ellie looked back, your lack of clothes grabbing her attention as she stalked towards you. Hand landing on your waist as she placed a quick kiss to your cheek. "Although I'd prefer you didn't." She moved past you to her drawer, shuffling through the soft fabrics before she settled on one and headed back to you. The smell of bacon graced your nose as she handed you a soft brown shirt. You pulled it over your head quickly, tugging at the sleeves as they draped over your wrists. Ellie hummed a tune as she returned to her small stove, soft pops of grease adding to the noise.

"Hey, you never gave me that book you talked about last night." You pushed forward to sit in her office chair.

"Oh right. It's right there." She glanced over at you as she pointed somewhere to your right. You twisted the chair to get closer to the desk as you grabbed a small red book. Your eyebrows shot up as you caught sight of those portraits from last night.

"And who do we have here?" You held the sheet of doodles, inspecting it closely. Yeah, there was no denying that it looked like you.

"Oh that," Ellie rubbed her neck. "That's nothing, don't worry about it."

"Do I really look like this?" You smirked.

"Nah, you look more beautiful in person." Ellie smiled at you as she pushed a plate full of eggs and 2 pieces of bacon towards you. You felt your face heat up as your mouth hung open at the sudden compliment.

"You think you're so smooth." Pushing the plate to the desk, you leaned forward teasing the girl in front of you.

Her ears pulled back with excitement staring down at you, eyes flickering quickly at your features. "Mhm" She hummed, closing the space and pressing her lips against yours. The kiss was sweet and passionate. She broke it first, letting her forehead press against yours.

"I gotta jump in the shower so in case you're gone when I get out, Have a good day doing those oh-so urgent assignments." Planting a short kiss to your cheek, her thumb caressed your jaw. And just like that she was gone, her sweet touch still lingering, disappeared behind a door.

Your hands blistered as sweat beaded in between your brows. Letting out a deep breath, you wiped your forehead, groaning at your frustration. You couldn't get that green eyed girl out of your head all day. The way she touched and kissed you played on repeat and you could have swore she was in love with you. But you can't be in love with her, not in this life. It's like walking on eggshells, too dangerous. Getting attached wasn't your style but you sensed Ellie liked to be clingy. Sure you liked her personality, you guys had the same interests, and frankly she fucked you like a sex god. There was nothing to dislike about her!

You dropped a heavy crate off at the stables, peering over to the assignments board. Your name was written alongside Ellie's for Friday's patrol cycle. You pushed down a smile as you tried to deny your excitement. Sure it made you a little anxious to do rounds with someone other than Jesse but the thought of having a reason to be around Ellie again made your heart sing.

"Wait so you guys hooked up, you said it was amazing, and now you don't ever want to talk to her again? What the fuck?" Jesse questioned as you laid on his couch, picking at your nails.

"She's in love with me- or- I'm in love with her- ugh!" You groaned. This was all so stupid, your feelings didn't make sense and Jesse pointing that out annoyed you even more. "I can't fall in love with someone, let alone actually date them."

"Because you don't know how?"

"No, Jesse, because anyone of us might die at any given time! No warning!"

"That's a little morbid-"

" I don't want to get attached to someone. I can't go through that pain of losing someone I love again."

"Aren't you attached to me?"

"What? No, you're different. I'm talking about a romantic relationship. It's very different!"

Jesse hummed thoughtfully at your comment, carefully wording his next sentence.

"It doesn't sound that different. You were attached to your Dad and brother the same way. Romantic attachment and platonic attachment is still attachment. Therefore your theory is stupid."

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration.

"I know it's stupid! I know! I just... I don't know what to do man."

"Go on the patrol with her. Ellie is extremely stealthy and a force to be reckoned with. She's very experienced, you have nothing to worry about." Jesse sent you a caring smile.

Ellie was capable alright. Everything Jesse said days before was true. She was strong, fast, stealthy, taking out runners with ease. She was everything but a team player. You watched her as she flicked the throat out of another runner, leaving it splayed on the ground. She'd at least killed 5 runners at this point. You guys ran into an abandoned storefront trying to escape a small horde. You nodded to her as you crouched down, moving to clear the rest of the building. You guys were both low on ammo, quickly growing more and more annoyed with each other, or maybe just the situation.

You had a million and one reasons why you were annoyed with her. She babied you. She was impulsive, sometimes moving too quickly and far too loud. She never gave you a heads up, just moved on her own like she didn't have a partner. She looked almost angry every time you got a kill. She didn't like to shoot, saying it's a waste of ammo and it attracted more runners. Okay- that she was right about, but you was an excellent shot, that was your best ability. Popping headshots with ease. If you were being honest with yourself, you might have been a little upset that she wasn't impressed by your skill. Add that to the list. She didn't care how much of a good shot you were.

You walked upstairs still grumbling to yourself as she followed behind you closely. You weren't on high alert as you didn't hear any moans of infected on the floor.

"I'm going to go check over here. Be careful." Ellie whispered as she separated from you.

"Be careful." You mocked as you pushed a door open stepping inside. What did she think you were a fucking child? You could clear an entire building by yourself with ease! You swore if she babied you again-

'Creeeeaaak-'

The ball of your foot pushed onto the wooden floor immediately feeling it give under the pressure. You leaned on your heel, desperately trying to flee the now caving level. The floor snapped underneath you, wood painfully smacking the ground underneath. One of your legs hung into the large hole as you butt collided with the ground earning yourself another all-knowing creak. Your heart rate spiked as you anticipated the fall, trying to escape far too slow. You kicked as your arms flailed, desperate to grab onto anything to keep you from falling. Latching into the wall you felt the rest of the floor give as you were yanked back roughly. Ellie panted at your side as you tried to catch your breath. Turning to her wide eyed she stood up huffing.

"What did I just say!" She yelled as her arms opened, swinging widely.

"Was I suppose to know the fucking ground was gonna cave in!? You cried as you also stood up.

"You keep running around without thinking, Y/n!

"Oh you want to get started on me?"

The familiar snarls snapped you both out of the argument. Ellie mumbled a soft 'fuck' as she whirled around to trying find the source.

"You don't even notice my awesome sharp shooter skills!" You mumbled to yourself, before she whipped herself back around to you.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

A stalker ran around the corner quickly, arms out like they just found their dinner. You quickly raised your pistol shooting perfectly in their head twice. They fell to the floor with a loud thump before Ellie turned back at you again.

"My awesome sharp shooter skills, Ellie." You repeated as you huffed, hand gesturing to the quick kill you just made. "Your welcome."

"Your sharp shoot- Y/n I just watched you almost fall through the floor!" She cried. "Can you stop trying to give me a fucking heart attack for two seconds?"

This argument was stupid. This argument was self sabotaging. This argument was subconsciously your way out.

How did you guys even get here? The patrol started off so well. You guys chatted about everything and nothing. The conversation flowed so effortlessly, like you'd never run out of things to say. Speaking to her was so fun and easy. It wasn't until infected joined the party that it started to get shaky. As much as you hated to admit it you didn't want to lose this. This relationship you guys had. Sure it was new but it was so comforting.

"Let's just finish this." You pushed past Ellie, heading down the hall quickly.

"Shit Y/n, your bleeding."

That sentence made all your senses run a mile a minute. Adrenaline pushed through your system causing you not to feel the burning pain searing on your back, shirt now sticking with droplets of blood. That fall really did a number on you as the dying adrenaline brought back senses, now feeling a dull pain in your leg. You twisted to try to see the gash but it was useless, the more you tried the more pain spread through your nerves. Ellie's warm hand rested on your shoulder, stopping your attempts.

"Let's clear this building quickly so we can bandage you up." She pushed forward with her arm out, signaling you to stay close behind.

You guys only caught one more stalker before the old creaky building was deemed clear. You hated those things. They were far too quiet for the ears and far too fast for the eyes. Wood sticking out of their body at odd angles made your skin crawl. Ellie sat you down in an old dusty office chair, the back hung close to the ground, clinging on by a thread. You turned letting her lift up your shirt, air quickly making the wet blood get cold.

"Is it bad?" You asked barely above a whisper because you didn't really want an answer. You knew it was bad by the throbbing pain.

"No." She answered softly. Pulling out a rag and pouring alcohol on it. "But this is going to sting a little." You scoffed knowing it was going to sting a lot. And it did. It stung so bad your eyes watered and your veins popped out on your hand from squeezing it so hard. Ellie mumbled a soft 'Sorry' as she stuck you with a hot needle, which earned a sharp inhale from your nose.

"You want to tell me what's going on with you?" She grabbed the rag again, moving to clean up the dried blood.

You stayed silent, weighing how you wanted to answer.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling. This is all so..." Ellie trailed off as she pulled your shirt back down. You twisted back around to see her pained face. The way you were acting clearly stressed her enough.

"You move too fast." You mumbled now feeling guilty for composing an entire list of things that annoyed you.

"I'll move slower." She rested her hand on your knee, face riddled with concern.

Your brain screamed at you to lay it on her heavy. Tell her every single thing she did to annoy you, even if 90% of it was exaggerated in your mind. Tell her she should be angrier at you for being so reckless. Tell her how you're currently sabotaging your own happiness from the thought of ever losing her. Tell her how you can't get her out of your head. Tell her how you're falling in love with her.

"You're doing a really good job, okay?" Ellie's hand caressed your cheek, your tense shoulders instantly melted. You almost cried as you looked into her worried eyes, flickering between yours. "I know you're a really good shot but we don't have a lot of ammo left. I heard your revolver click empty some time ago so I know your pistol is short too. And if that clicks and you die I will never forgive myself. So for my sanity please stop shooting. I... I don't want to lose you, Y/n."

She was right. The moment you realized you were out of revolver rounds your heart sank and she was the one to save you. Guilt overwhelmed your mind as you thought of how she felt. Scared and hopeless. Exactly what you would feel if she was in that situation. You just wanted to prove yourself useful since she's made you feel like a burden when infected showed.

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing you could manage to say. This stupid love mess was making your stomach hurt. Your head was spinning, maybe from thinking so much, but likely from your wounds. Guilt tugged your throat as you stood up, moving to leave the stuffy building. You needed fresh air badly, this stale air made you want to puke even more. Her footsteps followed slowly but you couldn't convince yourself to look back, not wanting to see what expression played at her face. You wanted to cry quite frankly. Sirens hadn't stopped blazing through your brain since you met Ellie. This was all wrong but felt so right.

The rest of the patrol went off silently. Only speaking to each other when needed. You returned to Jackson with only a couple of rifle rounds left, everything else on empty. You both went your separate ways with a short goodnight in low spirits. The only thing you wanted so desperately was to curl up in your cold bed and cry. Cry because you couldn't figure out your stupid emotions and you were exhausted from thinking so much. And that's exactly what you did

Cry yourself to sleep.



This chapter made me wanna punch a wall but it's okay cos we meet Joel next chapter :) I hate to say this but writing angst is so fun anyways thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoyed <333

[magnumdays]

OTP PROFILE GAME!

rules: answer the questions about your favorite ship (all time or current) then tag other people to do it too!

SHIP AND FANDOM: So I’ve shipped a lot of things in my life but my most constant for the past two years or so is Thomas Magnum x Juliet Higgins from CBS’s Magnum PI. So shockingly, that’s what I’m going with!

MOMENTS:

What were their first impressions of each other?

Juliet: Obnoxious, freeloader who has no money or brains or prospects. 

Magnum: British, stuck up, beautiful, kick ass...annoying her is going to be so much fun. Too bad her dogs are evil. 

A moment you think that both/one of them will remember forever about each other: 

For Magnum, I’d say when Juliet "drowns” in the ep. “Blood in the Water” and he brings her back. I think that moment and what his life would have been if he hadn’t been able to resuscitate her will always haunt him a little. (But that’s just my shippy brain...)

As for Juliet... I think she remembers everything but maybe Magnum telling him _he knows her _when she’s about to go kidnap/ torture/ kill the guy who might have intel on her (dead) fiance’s killer and then talked her down when she was about to kill him.

A moment you think that both/one of them wishes hadn’t happened:

 Weirdly the first thing that comes to mind is Higgy’s face when watching Magnum hold his dead ex. I think because she knew sort of what that felt like (to lose someone you thought was going to be your future - even if Hannah betrayed him long before the start of the series) one of her big regrets might actually be that she/they weren’t able to prevent Hannah’s death. Writing that, it sounds kind a messed up but I think Juliet just wants as little pain as possible for Magnum and that moment was definitively painful for him.

I think Magnum just regrets not asking Higgy to be his partner sooner...

What is Their Moment for you?

_Their Moment _as in the moment I began shipping them or their moment when the characters “knew”? Because I basically shipped them from the pilot. 

As for their most shippy feel-y moment... maybe from the crossover episode. It’s for sure one of my favorites. When Magnum proposes a toast to "us” for having saved the day and she tells him that it’s not a competition and if it was “McGarett wouldn't come close” and he points out that not all office romances fail. The looks and feels in that scene is just off the charts.

Then again, most scenes with them are so IDK, it’s hard to pick one moment!

LIFE QUESTIONS:

Marriage? If yes, who proposes?

Maybe. They both have been engaged to other people pre-series so having them at least get engaged by the end of the series would be the best. I’m hopeful for a proposal in the Ferrari, maybe Magnum has it all planed out and Juliet figures it out and he has to do it on the fly... 

Magnum. It’s canon now.

(Well it was for two episodes).

Children? If yes, if one had to stay home with them, who would do it?

I hope we’d at least one kid this in-show, be it an actual Miggy kid, just some nephew coming to stay or a case related ‘take care of the baby’ one but I’m not sure. Both of them are pretty great with kids so they’d have one at least. As for childcare, I’d think they’d take turns or just recruit Kumu as a nanny so they can go off solving cases and saving the world together.      

Housing? Where do they live together?

I’d love to see Juliet moving into the guest house after much debating on where they should live. It would also be interesting to actually see them get a place outside of Robin’s nest to really call their own. At the same time, who’d give up living in a beautiful mansion for free? 

Pets? Do they get a pet together?

No. I mean, they do have a goat for like five minutes (Ellie, you are missed) but I think they’d just stick with the Lads (even if they occasionally try to snack on Magnum...)

PERSON A & B…

Who would kill/remove the spider and who would leave it under a cup and leave the room?

   I think both of them would be too busy saving their latest client, bickering or just all around not caring to pay attention to the spider. If it got too up and close with Juliet she’d def. take care of it though... 

Who sings all day long and who gets so used to it they don’t even hear it anymore?

I think the singer has to, predictably, be Magnum. Even if we did get Juliet doing a karaoke number... 

Who can cook a gourmet meal for two and who can maybe use the toaster?

Higgy can cook it but would probably never do it. Magnum makes breakfast everyday and with impressive skill (he can use much more than just a toaster, as long as it’s breakfast foods being cooked).

Who wakes up before the sun rises and who would sleep in until 2pm if they didn’t have an alarm?

This one is easy. Juliet is the early bird and Magnum sleeps the day away.

Who is more affectionate/touchy?

I want to say neither and both. But I’m going to say Magnum because... well just because. But I feel like outside/ in public / even among friends, they’d be pretty low on the PDA. They’d both ‘cuddle’ like pros in private though...

Who wears the other’s hoodies/shirts?

OMG now suddenly all I can think of is Juliet in Magnum’s favorite Hawaiian shirt. 

Wait! 

I'll be right back...

Give me just one second...

There we go...

Oh no, why do I suddenly have the need to go write a fic in which this actually is a thing?! Urg. No. I’m just going to put it in one of my WIPs. We’re not starting any new fics this week. Nope. No.

Who said/ will say “I love you” first? 

Maybe a little controversial, I’m going to say Higgins. Because she has more baggage, her actually being the first to say it fits better and would be more satisfying. Also I think they’d be together a good bit before any I <B U are spoken...

[silverislander]

tag me

rules: answer these 30 questions and then tag 20 people you'd like to get to know better.

tagged by: @onthestupidtrain  @unadulteratedcolorkid @dissonantdreamer and @souncivilized17 !!  thanks yall :D

name/nickname: lee

gender: uhhhhhhhh,, at this point your guess is as good as mine my guy.  probably nonbinary, definitely lesbian??...  girl but to the left??  gender is a lie made up by the government to sell more bathrooms and it does not spark joy for me, but at least it gave us women

star sign: sagittarius

height: 5'5.5"

time: is a lie made up by the government to sell more clocks

birthday: dec 11

favorite bands: mcr, rise against, mother mother, paramore, against me!, the oh hellos

favorite solo artists: sleeping at last, hozier, palehound, phoebe bridgers

song stuck in my head: graceland too by phoebe bridgers!  i want to see if i can learn it on guitar- it even has my favourite guitar chord in it :D

last movie i watched: the thing (1982) with my good good dnd bros saturday night!  it was pretty fun, and the gore was v good a+, we love some practical effects in this house

last show: burden of truth- my family is watching it together

when did i create this blog: uhhh june 2019 i think??  it was def june

what i post: it’s like 95% tlou (esp part 2/ellie and dina my beloveds), but also the locked tomb series, memes/jokes, horror movies, trying to figure out my Brain Issues(tm), gay shit and whatever else i’m into for the week lol

other blogs: none!  all my bullshit stays right here baybee

last thing i googled: “figured bass inversions”... i have music theory hw to do and i suck at remembering figured bass :/

do i get asks: only when i rb games usually, but i’ve gotten a few abt my writing too which is always cool :D

why i chose my url: so i have this history of winning second place in competitions and stuff?  if i place, it’s almost always second, so that’s where the silver part comes from.  plus i am an islander :)

following: 472

followers: 300!!  thanks gang :’)

average hours of sleep: 6-7 hrs

lucky number: 13 and 7

instruments: piano, guitar, ukulele, trumpet/cornet and i am currently a voice major.  basically my whole life is music lmao

what am i wearing: denim shirt w the sleeves rolled up, jeans, socks and my key necklace.  i’m at home but i had to look nice for a recording lol, plus i just like this shirt :)

dream trip: ooo idk!  i’d probably want to go somewhere really different and learn abt the history and culture, maybe try some local food.  the problem is i’d have to be super careful to stay safe while travelling some foreign countries bc i’m visibly gay/gnc... i did a project on morocco in hs and i would have loved to go someday until i found out i’m illegal there 🤠

favorite food: burgers mmm

nationality: canadian!

last book i read: the city we became by n. k. jemisin.  it’s absolutely amazing and i am SO close to finishing it that it’s KILLING ME but i have so much schoolwork (and executive dysfunction) lately,, how to pause the entire world to read for several hours please :’(

top 3 fictional worlds I'd like to live in: most of the stories i like are either in the normal world or Not worlds i’d actually want to live in, oof.  as much as i’d love to hang out in jackson with ellie, dina and the gang (and i would LOVE to,, universe let me meet my fav characters and have a hug w them :( ), the ensuing trauma and near-certain death... idk if that's really worth it lol.  probably (in no order) camp half blood from pjo, infinity train maybe and uhhh... probably our dnd campaign in phandalin bc i would Love to be a bard.  performing/music, charisma score that isn’t less than 0 AND cool powers?  hell yeah, where do i sign

favorite color: never can decide if it’s blue or green tbh

tagging: @angelknive @schwulchen @sadgirlindiemusic @yourcandleonthewater @primaryass only if you want ofc!  no pressure 💛

[oboevallis]

Hey! Wondering if u could write something related to this season with Amelink, the baby, Maggie, the kids, idk or maybe link goes to work and all the kids give Amelia hell and drive her crazy and the baby cries a lot

week 1

thank you so much for the prompt! im considering maybe doing a mini series on this, because im really living for domestic amelin, and i also didn’t do everything in the prompt also part 2 to baby blues will be out soon

"Auntie Amelia when is mommy going to be home?" Bailey asked as his aunt tucked him in.

"We talked about this the other day remember? Your mom has to help people at the hospital, but she can't come home because she may get us sick. So she's going to stay at a hotel. I promise first thing tomorrow you can FaceTime her."

"Okay, but why can't she come home to see us. I won't get sick."

"There's something called a pandemic going on right now, and basically that's a sickness that spreads really really quickly. And since your moms at the hospital all the time working with people who have the sickness it isn't safe for her to see us." Amelia wanted to cry when she saw the tears welling up in her nephews eyes.

"You don't do anything right though. You don't tuck me in right, and you don't make sandwiches right, and you don't play cars right either. Actually you don't play with me at all like you used to." Bailey ranted before he took his covers and pulled them over his head. Amelia tried to reach out to him only for him to turn away from her. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle this, it had barely been a week since lockdown begun.

"Good night Bailey, I love you." Amelia reassured as she closed the door behind her. She walked down the attic stairs to find Link putting the covers over Ellis while she laid on Merediths bed, for the past couple of nights she's refused to sleep unless it was in her mothers bed. She was pulled out of her moment of serenity from her baby's cries, she sighed and made her way to Maggie's room. They put his crib in there for the time being as it was the closest to their room.

"What's the matter my sweet boy?" Amelia picked up the crying baby from his crib. She sat down on Maggie's bed and cradled her son, resulting in her sons cries to subside. "Someone just wanted their mommy huh?"

"Auntie Amelia?" Zola's voice startled her aunt causing her to gasp. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay ZoZo, everything okay?" The girl just nodded and crawled into the bed next to her aunt.

"Is Scout okay?"

"Yeah, he's just fine. I think he just wanted some attention."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" The question took Amelia aback, she expected it from her younger niece and nephew but not from Zola. She sometimes forgot she was still a kid and not a teenager. She'd always acted mature for her age.

"Sure ZoZo. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just miss my mom. When I'm scared I always sleep with her."

"Why are you scared ZoZo?" Amelia knew it was a dumb question, she was scared herself. But it broke her heart her niece was as well.

"This sickness must be really bad if we can't go to school, or see friends, or see auntie Maggie and mommy."

"We're taking precautions, we wear out masks if we were to go out, we're quarantining. At the hospital your mom and aunt Maggie wear something called PPE, and they social distance and they constantly are washing their hands."

"So they won't get it?" Zola worriedly asked. Amelia didn't want to lie but she also didn't want her niece to be constantly worried.

"They're taking precautions ZoZo."

"Will you and Link be going to the hospital?"

"Well, not right now we're on something called maternity leave. That's when you have time off of work after you have a baby. So we'll be home for awhile and then we'll see what we should do. Don't be worried about this though, ZoZo. How about you go change into your pjs and brush your teeth, then you can go into my room and get to sleep that sound good?"

"That sounds good." Zola softly smiled as she jumped off the bed. Amelia sighed once her niece left the room, and turned her attrition to her baby.

"You are very adorable, but you need to sleep. You don't seem to like sleep very much though." She whispered as she placed the drowsy baby into his crib.

______________________________________

"Auntie Amelia your phones ringing." Zola yelled from the living room the next morning.

"Who is it?" Amelia asked, she was in the side room trying to help Bailey log onto a zoom meeting.

"Someone named Addison."

"Can you try to help Bailey log on? And bring my phone in here please." Zola skipped into the room and handed her aunt her phone, and took her seat at the computer. Amelia ran up the stairs and shut the bathroom door behind her, before Ellis realized she was up here. She sat in the bathtub and swiped the call on.

"Oh wow you look terrible." Addison commented, as her screen popped up with the face of her exhausted friend.

"Why thank you."

"Sorry, how are you holding up?"

"I'm alright, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I just have never lost this many patients before."

"I can't even imagine, I hear it's really bad."

"Yeah it really is. So have you decided if your going back to work after your maternity leave?"

"I have no idea, I mean they desperately need doctors. But what happens to Scout and the kids. We can't leave them with a babysitter, because of quarantine. I don't know, I'm just kind of taking it a day at a time."

"That's okay, that's all we can really do. Take it a day at a time. How's the baby doing?"

"Oh he's really good." Amelia lit up at the mention of her baby. "I'm basically with him all the time, so Link is stuck with the other kids so I can't really complain."

"Link must be having the time of his life." Addison sarcastically laughed.

"Yea, he's never really dealt with kids before. At least not to this extent, the most he'd interact with a child before is if he had to do surgery on one." Knocking on the bathroom door took her out of her moment of serenity talk to her friend.

"Auntie Amelia, we still can't get Bailey into his zoom." Zola's voice came from the outside of the door.

"Crap, I've got to go Addie. Stay safe."

"You too." Amelia set her phone down on the edge of the tub, and hoisted herself up.

"You still can't get in?" Amelia asked once she opened the door.

"Nope, I tried everything."

"Alright I'll try and take a look at it." Amelia sighed, and went down the stairs to the room they've now dedicated to school. "Still can't get it?"

"No, so does that mean I don't have to do it?" Bailey hopefully asked.

"No your still going to have to do it. You know what I'll email your teacher, and tell her what's going on."

"Alright, I'm gonna go play." Bailey said quickly while running my out of the room.

"No, Bailey get back here." She called after her nephew, only for him to ignore her. She sighed and held her head in her hands. "Okay, ZoZo did you finish your school work yet?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, go play with Bailey then." She opened up Meredith's email, so she could contact Baileys teacher about the issue with the video call. Once she composed the email and sent it, she scrolled through the other emails. She noticed one from Zola's teacher and opened.  Zola had 8 missing assignments, Amelia felt like crying and screaming. She already knew they were going to be up all night trying to catch her up, she wanted to be mad but she couldn't. This was nothing like her niece, she was obviously struggling with the quarantine.

"Hey the kids are done with school already?" Link asked as he came into the room.

"No, Bailey can't log on. And Zola's been lying to my face about completing her homework. I also have no idea what Ellis is supposed to be doing." Amelia choked out before she started crying.

"Oh, don't cry." Link walked further into the room and spun Amelia around in the spiny chair before wrapping his arms around her. “It's going to be okay. We'll figure it out. How about we sit everyone down, and come up with a game plan. We haven't sat down and organized how this is going to be."

"Okay." Amelia smiled slightly wiping away her tears. She spun around in the chair to face back towards the computer. She was going to write down all the children's assignments and figure the times that the teachers held their video calls.

______________________________________

"Okay do your Aunt Amelia and I wanted to talk to you guys." Link said as he placed down the kids plates in front of them.

"About what?" Zola asked curiously.

"Well we know that right now, everything's all messed up and kind of scary. But we still have to have a routine and make sure our school works getting done." Amelia said as she adjusted her shirt so her son could eat.

"So what does that mean." Zola asked before she messily slurped up her spaghetti.

"Well for starters we're gonna go to bed on time, and we'll wake up around 7 so we can get ready for the day before we start school." Link stated once he sat down at the kitchen table with everyone.

"So Bailey and Ellis you have two zoom calls everyday. At 8 and at 10, so Bailey you'll be in the side room and Ellis we'll set you up in the living room. Zola you have four calls so you'll be in the kitchen-"Zola interrupted before Amelia could finish her statement.

"Wait why do I have more calls then them, thats not really fair."

"Since your older you have more classes than they do. Back to what I was saying, we'll all have lunch together and then we can play for a little bit but then back to school. After everyone's done you can play or watch a movie then we'll have dinner and go to sleep. How does that sound?" Amelia asked, the couple realistically knew that this plan would probably never happen but they wanted to try to let the kids have a predictable routine everyday.

"Sounds fair." Bailey said and the two girls nodded in agreement. "Soooooo, can we watch a movie tonight?"

"Not tonight bud." Link said, causing sighs from all three children. After everyone was done with dinner Zola helped Link clear the table while Amelia put the baby to bed. "So you've got some missing assignments."

"Oh." Zola felt embarrassed. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"I do. Tonight me and your Aunt Amelia are going to help you with it, so you don't get further behind. Is that alright?"

"I guess so." Zola sighed. "It's just confusing, I like it better when it's on paper not the computer."

"Okay, so we'll sit down and figure it out. It's going to be okay."

"Thanks Link." Zola smiled kindly. "Sorry I lied, to Auntie Amelia about completing my work."

"Just don't do it again, next time just ask for help. Nothing gets better if you don't ask fo help." Link smiled.

[alwaysupatnight]

Top 5 Books or Video Games you would like to see onscreen AND Top 5 Character Wardrobes you want to raid for your own closet and Top 5 coolest toys from your childhood!💖💖💖

Top 5 Video Games I wanna see onscreen:

NONE. EVERY LIVE ADAPTATION OF A THING I HAVE LOVED HAS BEEN TERRIBLE. AND WOULD THE RESIDENT EVIL MOVIES JUST DIE ALREADY?! 😩 They already ruined the new CGI netflix thing by casting the same voice actors as in the RE2 remake. 🙄 Just... I absolutely NEVER wanna see my fave games made into live action things okay. NEVER.

(With the exception of TLOU because that’s happening whether I want it to or not, and while I love Pedro and think he’ll be amazing as Joel, I still don’t believe TLOU ever needed a live action adaptation when it was already perfect.)

That said, I would LOVE to see an ANIME version of Legend of Zelda. lmfao That’s probably why I actually really loved Breath of the Wild. I know there was an animated series back in the 80s but yeah NOT LIKE THAT. XD I tolerate the CGI Resident Evil movies when I’m missing Leon, but they’re... not good. 🤣

Top 5 Books I wanna see onscreen:

After witnessing what a complete disgrace the Vampire Academy movie actually was, I never want to see any of my faves onscreen ever again. But if it was done RIGHT, they could’ve made a couple of great VA movies ngl. It would’ve been so amazing. Forever disappointed. 😤

I also always thought the Black Dagger Brotherhood series would make a good tv series. I mean... as long as it was on HBO or something because of all the sex. lmfao That would be interesting. It probably wouldn’t be GOOD. But yeah. sexy vampire bros. lmfao I’d be there for it.

And the Murderbot Diaries might be fun as movies or a tv series... maybe. lol I’ve been listening to the audiobooks and I’m not sure I would’ve gotten the same enjoyment out of them if I’d read them instead. The guy from the audiobook was too good. XD

Top 5 Character Wardrobes to raid for my closet:

okay so this isn’t exactly wardrobes but more like specific items I liked from their costumes? lol idk I never watched those gossip girl and 90210 shows okay and idgaf about friends or sex in the city XD None of the characters I love have really extensive wardrobes... some hardly had any costume changes at all...

Kate Fuller’s American Eagle denim hoodie lmfao. Emily Kinney actually used to wear one just like it but it was gray, not black and I have always wanted one 🤣

Beth Greene’s Dan Post Vintage Arrow cowgirl boots (if I ever thought I could actually pull off cowboy boots that is XD)

Danielle’s “just breathe” dress and wings from Ever After

AMARU’S RED BOOTS. WHERE DO I FIND THEM?!

and not a fictional character, but Madie’s black and white striped shirt with the wide v-neck [1, 2, 3] She wore it several times a few years back and ugh I WOULD ABSOLUTELY WEAR THAT. IT LOOKED SO GOOD ON HER THOUGH

Okay I lied. I just realized I would absolutely raid Alexis Rose’s closet XD Top 5 coolest toys from my childhood:

oh man this is gonna age me so bad 😅

Those Fairy Winkles toys. They were like Polly Pocket but with FAIRIES. Sadly I lost all but one of my fairies 😔

Ghostbusters firehouse before we broke it 🤣 and the cruiser

Bratz dolls. I think I had all the original ones XD

Jurassic Park the lost world t-rex that swallowed things and roared. It wasn’t actually mine, but it was badass. I actually still have the Tim and Ellie figurines too from the first movie lol

Nintendo SNES/64

ASK ME MY “TOP 5/TOP 10” ANYTHING!

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 19: Grief 

@megatraven and @aallotarenunelma

New chapter >:)). And idk how funerals worked in other times so I just...kinda took the vague path. I hope it makes sense.

.

After Rose and Apollo found the bodies, she took the body of her crewmate and left the palace through one of the back doors. She knew every inch of this palace, and she managed to not get caught. Apollo wanted to go with her, but he knew she needed time to be alone. She needed time with the woman, even if she was gone, and he couldn’t steal that from her. 

Apollo went back to the ballroom and looked for Sam. He found him where he last was and walked over to him with his head held high. He was sad, but he couldn’t show that to people here. He was poisoned last time and was not going to let anything happen to him or others because he was emotional.

He was already used to suppressing his emotions, so what’s different?

He reached Sam and stood beside him, looking out onto the people dancing. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing good.”

“What do you mean?” Sam tried not to show emotion, but his voice became a bit louder than a whisper and it sounded scared. 

Apollo turned his head towards Sam and he struggled to find the words. He knew he was also attached to the crew members, so her death will affect him as well. 

“I’ll tell you outside, okay?” He said with his voice trying to ease Sam. 

Sam was about to argue, mouth already open, but stopped when he realized that something must’ve gone really wrong. 

He nodded. “Let me talk to the king and queen. I’ll meet you on the ship.”

Apollo nodded in return and left the palace, eyes still alert even outside. He only calmed when he got to the deck of the ship. However, that calm didn’t last. It immediately shifted to one of...emptiness. He didn’t know how to describe it. He didn’t know that woman like Rose and the rest of the crew did, he didn’t feel that attachment, but now knowing that he never would be able to get close to her...it made his emotions confusing. 

Despite his emotions, he knew someone who was mourning more than him, more than anyone. 

Rose. 

At the thought of her, the memory of her sobs echo in his head and it brings him great sadness. He wanted to take that away from her, wanted to keep her smiling, but he knew that was impossible at this time. Grief is a strong emotion, one that many hate, one that hurts people deep inside, and it’s one that takes a toll for a long time. It hangs over your head like a rain cloud, but the sun won’t come out. It won’t let it come out. He knew that better than most people...

He sighed and closed his eyes. He had been standing at the left railing of the ship deck, staring out into the ocean. The world looked so beautiful, but he couldn’t focus on that beauty. It was all dimmed down by the slight sadness he felt. He wanted to go find Rose, but he knew where she was at. She was always worried about her mother, always spending time with her when she could, and now she would be even more worried now that she was at threat. She was in their room doing whatever they could to comfort each other. 

He pulled on the collar of the suit and realized how tight it was. He walked down to his room and changed into his normal clothes, finding a little comfort in them. It’s something he knows, something that can ground him. 

He laid the suit on the bed after taking it off and he noticed little blood drops on it. It made him want to throw it out, throw it into the ocean, or do something with it. He decided to fold it and throw it into one of the nightstand drawers in the room. 

When he was done, he heard the door open. He turned to look and saw Sam leaning against the doorway. He had his arms crossed and was looking at the ground, face blank and unreadable. 

“I’m sorry for her death,” Apollo said with his voice soft. 

“Why are you sorry?” 

“I think I could’ve stopped her death,” he said slowly. He remembered how he walked slowly on those stairs and knows deep down he could’ve stopped this from happening. He could’ve used his God powers and ran as fast as lightning, apprehend the woman, and stop both murders, but he was fooled. 

That confession made Sam look up and show an angry face, all sorrow now replaced with anger. 

Another stage of grief: Anger

He walked up to Apollo and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “What do you mean you could’ve stopped her death?” 

Apollo’s face showed no shock or fear, only his worry. “I was on the steps, slowly walking to not make too much sound as she began to run towards the door. I believed it was Rose,” he paused as the events replayed through his head, “but it wasn’t. She came in behind me and we both heard the door to them slam and a man scream.” 

Sam’s hands tightened on his shirt and anger flowed through him, and he wanted to blame Apollo. He wanted to so bad, but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew blaming people who weren’t responsible would only make things worse. Hell, they all already knew who was responsible.

He let Apollo go and left the room quickly, and he heard another door shut down the hallway. The pain was settling in, and everyone needed to be on their own. Everyone wanted to hide from the world, and he would let them. 

He closed the bedroom door and laid down on his bed. He didn’t know what else to do, so he just stared at the wood above him. He wondered if the boys will come in here at night and sleep, or would they stay up all night working?

‘Not taking care of yourself won’t get you anywhere. You know that, and I hope they do too,’ he thought. 

His mind wandered for a few minutes, and slowly his eyes began to droop, and the rocking of the ship put him to sleep. 

.

Apollo’s eyes opened slowly. 

He looked around the room and saw the men sleeping in the bunk bed across from him, and he assumes another man is above him.

‘Good. They came to sleep.’ Knowing that they were there put his heart slightly at ease. 

He let out a quiet yawn and rubbed his eyes. He tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. He tossed and turned but nothing worked, so he decided to get up. He got up slowly, trying not to wake the boys up, and left the room quietly. The hall was dimly lit by a few lanterns sitting against the wall between certain doors. 

‘Dang, that’s really helpful.’

He continued all the way up to the ship deck. The wind hit him immediately and he shivered. He wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed them up and down, trying to warm himself. However, the discomfort of the cold went right off his mind when he heard soft crying. 

He looked around and couldn’t see anyone crying. There were some of the crew members messing with their weapons and messing with the ship on the other end of the deck, but the crying was near him. He looked behind him and walked up the small stairs to the bridge area of the ship, where the steering wheel is, and saw a little girl, sitting in front of the steering wheel. She was sitting crisscross and was holding Aerin. Now that he could see her, he realized it was Ellie. 

“Are you okay?” His voice was quiet and tried to sound comforting, but it still had the deep tone. 

She jumped slightly and looked up at him. He could now clearly see the tears sliding down her face. 

She wiped her face quickly, trying to hide them. “What do you want?” Her voice broke and was harsh for a teenager. He hated seeing people like this and couldn’t help the adults, but maybe he could help a kid.

He sat in front of her, mirroring her position, and held his hands together in his lap. Ellie didn’t say anything more, only stared at him, and he was surprised to see Aerin do the same. The bird didn’t hate him anymore, but he doubted that she liked him. 

“Well,” he started, “I know that everyone’s sad and a lots going on, and I know what’s wrong with them, but what’s wrong with you?” He knew what was wrong, but he wanted her to say it. She was around twelve, so who knew if she understood everything around her. 

She sniffled and wiped her face again. “Why do you want to know?” Her look was sad but also suspicious, and he couldn’t blame her. He may have been here for a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean they would automatically trust him. Especially, a little kid, when all you’re taught is to be careful of everyone. 

“I want to help if I can.”

“How can you help me? Why not help the adults?” 

He let out a sigh and a slight smile appeared on his face. “Adults are weird and complicated. Their emotions are...stronger and it’s hard to deal with them and some adults won’t accept the help.” He leaned in towards her and looked to the left and right, as if someone could possibly hear them. “And between you and me, kids are better than us.” 

She smiled at him and let out a soft giggle. “Really? I thought things get easier as you grow up.” 

“Well, they do, but you change and grow, so things get more difficult as well.”

She was silent for a moment, and then moved Aerin and let her fly away. She was ready to accept someone's help. 

“That sounds...bad...”.

“It’s not all that bad. Things get a little harder, but they do get a little easier. Especially with the people around you.” 

“Does...this happen as well? Do more people disappear?” Her voice became tearful and began to waver. 

He looked down for a moment, struggling to find an answer. ‘How do I explain death to a little kid?’

“Well, sometimes, and it’s hard. That’s one of the things that stays the same in life,” he said sadly as he looked back up at her. “But it gets better.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be sad forever?”

“No. It hurts to lose someone, I know, but they wouldn’t want you to be sad all your life. They would want you to live, be happy, and live your life the way you want. Of course you’ll miss them and still be sad at the fact that they’re gone, but it’s okay to be happy afterwards, no matter how long it takes to become happy.” He rambled all of these things to her, hoping she would somehow understand that things get better. That this sadness won’t last forever.

She looked at him for awhile, trying to take in everything he told her. 

“So, will my mom get better? Will I see her smile again?”

He put on a reassuring smile and ruffled her hair. “I believe so. I bet your mother is a very strong woman, she knows what to do,” he said with his voice confident. Then, his curiosity got the best of him and needed to ask her something. “Who is your mother? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Rose.”

That caused him to let out a little, “Oh,”. It’s not that he was jealous because she had a kid with another person, but seeing her taking care of a kid and multiple other kids and a crew? That was a truly strong woman, and he couldn’t be more proud of her. He’s watching her grow over each timeline, and he couldn’t help but admire it. 

Ellie stood up and walked towards him. She hesitated for a moment, but she leaned down and gave him a tight hug. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and her cheek was against his shoulder. It made him pause for a moment, not used to any kid attention, but he wrapped his arms lightly around her. 

“Thank you, Andy,” she said, her voice quiet from her shyness. 

He didn’t say anything in response, and just let her stay there until she let go and ruffled his hair. She gave him one of her sweet smiles and left, bouncing down the stairs. He let out a little relieved sigh at the fact that he helped her. He helped someone feel better, and he liked it. He was getting better at peoples feelings slowly.

He heard a noise and looked up to see Aerin sitting on top of the steering wheel. 

“Do you need something as well?”

She flew away immediately and he let out a laugh.

‘Good. What would a bird need help with?’

He let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair and felt the tiredness creep back on him. 

‘Now I really need to sleep. No use in being tired,’. He got up and went back to bed, still trying to be quiet. When he finally laid back down, it only took him a few minutes to let the darkness and comfort of sleep take him again.

.

The next morning, they all get up in the early hours and had a funeral for the woman. On that day, Apollo learns that her real name was Rhea and that she was going to get married to one of the guys in the crew. All of that made him feel many emotions. He felt anger and confusion as to why Adonia did this, and sadness from her death. He may not have known her as good as everyone else did, but how could he not feel sadness? This was an innocent womans death, and he could’ve stopped it. Guilt was one of the emotions he felt, but he had to push it aside. 

The funeral was mainly quiet, even with the kids there. Few people talked, but it was mainly silent. Many did it out of respect, but some did it because they couldn’t form any words. That was the day that he realized that everyone in that crew is family. 

Everyone in that crew is very important and can’t be replaced.

Everyone is loved. 

Apollo looked over at Rose during the funeral and saw her, Sam, and Melody together. Melody was hugging Rose to her side, Sam was leaning against Rose, and they all were together. That day also made him realize that now it’s not just Rose at risk, it’s everyone at risk. Instead of just worrying about Rose and Melody, now there was multiple people he had to worry about. 

He closed his eyes and began to pray, hoping it would be heard.

 ‘Hades...spare these people...’.

He has no idea if Hades or any of the Gods would hear this Gods prayer, but he hoped. However, he knows that hope isn’t the only thing you need to make things happen.

If it was, then Rose wouldn’t have been there at all.

.

After that funeral, Rose did not wait to meet Adonia’s commands. She went back to the ship, got her weapons, and was getting ready to meet her. 

Rose was standing in the doorway of her room, ready to leave, but called for Apollo first. 

“Andy. Can you stay here with my mother?” 

He was called to her room and he saw her in her normal clothes, but he could tell there was some armor underneath her clothes, something to actually protect herself. However, despite her want to leave, her anxiety and worry about her mother was still there, and she demanded for him to watch her mother. And he was happy to do it.

“Of course. What do I have to do?” 

“I don’t have time to say everything, but my mother will. Just stay here in this room until I get back. Don’t go to sleep. Don’t take your eyes off my mother,” she said with a demanding tone. 

“Rose. Go. I’ll be fine with him and the crew here,” Melody said in a calming voice. It was the type of voice a mother uses to soothe a crying child. And it seemed to work on Rose, just a tad bit. 

She turned around to face her mother. She was sitting on the bed, body facing Rose, and she had a bright smile on her face. However, he could see that her smile was shaking and that she was in slight pain. 

Rose went to her mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. 

“I love you. Be safe, okay? Don’t do anything reckless,” Melody whispered to her, her voice wavering with worry.

“Love you too, and you be safe as well.”

Rose pulled away and left quickly. She knew if she stayed she didn’t know if she’d be able to leave.

Apollo closed the door behind her and looked around the room. He felt a little awkward around her, so he didn’t know what to do. He looked around for a chair or somewhere to sit, but Melody stopped him. 

“Andy. Come over here,” she said as she scooted over and patted the space next to her. He gave her a thankful smile and listened to her. 

He sat down on the bed and looked at her. She was beautiful like she always was. She was practically a Goddess, and he didn’t understand why she hid away most days. As if she could sense his thoughts, she turned to the nightstand beside her and took out a bottle of liquid. 

“I need watching because I am sick. It is why I hide away most days, it is why I wince too much, and it is why I could barely move that one day when we got attacked,” she said with her voice a little more louder than it was with Rose. She wasn’t harsh sounding, but definitely was trying to show some kind of power she had. 

“Why are you sick?” He was curious and nervous. 

‘She’d never been sick before. It’d never been Melody also at risk, other than the war. Is this going to start in more timelines now?’

She looked at the ground and let out a sigh. “I was a mercenary many years ago like Rose is. I was teaching her when she was young. Teaching things she needed to be safe, things she wanted to know, and she was so excited for everything,” she said with a fond laugh at the end. “I never taught her how to kill though. She hates it, just like I do. I taught her ways to avoid killing if she could. I taught her that not everything has to end or begin with violence.” She then looked up at him and her voice went sad. 

“But that’s when she learned that kindness isn’t always given back. She was around twelve when she went on a job with me. It was a simple job of collecting fur for a woman who really needed it. She was sick and weak and couldn’t get it for herself, so I promised her I would. I was healthy and good for this, but that day is when that stopped.” 

“I was getting the fur and was attacked by a couple of bandits. She tried to help me fight, but I pushed her aside and told her to run, but she didn’t. The bandits didn’t want her, however. They wanted me, and they got me. They had a poison on one of their weapons and they stabbed it right into me,” she said as she began to pull up her shirt. She pulled it up to where he could see a nasty wound. 

It was a stab wound and it had a lot of purple around it, like it was a bruise freshly formed, but it wasn’t. It happened years ago, but still affected her to this day. She pulled her shirt down and looked away from him. “I now can’t fight anymore. I managed to get us both back to the town and people helped me to a medic, and it was almost too late for me, but they gave me this type of medicine that could help me. But this poison will never fully leave my body. I’m effected forever or until medicine develops to where I can get rid of it completely,” she said with her tone hopeful at the end. She really believed that maybe she could get better in the future, truly believed that maybe things would be okay. 

“It’s why Rose does many jobs. She keeps getting money to pay the crew, pay for food, pay for armor, but also to pay for my medicine, and manages to get a lot of news from the doctors. It’s never really good towards me, but she tries.” She looks back up at him with a bright smile, this time not forced. “And it makes me very proud of her. She sings to calm people down, her best friend is her brother, she has a kid she’s taking care of, a big crew she’s taking care of, and she still finds time to take care of her sick mother.” 

When she finished telling her story, Apollo felt his heart shatter. He watched her raise Rose in such a beautiful way in every life. She was always protective, careful, and gave her all of her love, and now she still did it, even if it was in a different way. She had to give her love from afar and pray for the Gods to keep her safe. She couldn’t keep an eye on her when she needed it, so now she only had hope to hang onto, but he knows hope isn’t always good enough. 

“I’m really sorry that that happened to you.”

She let out a little noise of disagreement. “It’s okay, Andy. I’ve gotten used to the pain and I manage to push past it sometimes, so I’ll be okay. I just worry about my daughter and my son and the crew. Plus, now you,” she said with a smile. She had this look in her eye that showed that she really cared, her voice was filled with care, and he had to look away. A little blush formed on his face and he let out a shy laugh.

“Thank you, miss,” he said with a quiet voice. She trusted him enough to tell him everything, and it made him feel a bit special. 

“Melody. It’s Melody.”

They smiled at each other and he felt like he got to see her. 

He got to see her. 

And now he hoped he could see Rose. The real Rose underneath this mess, underneath all of her anxiety, underneath the mercenary title, underneath The Dagger, underneath everything. He wanted to see her.

.

After a few hours of reading books, telling tales together, and helping Melody with her medicine, it became sundown, and it made both of them worry. However, their worry was put to an end when the door opened slowly, trying to be quiet, and Rose stepped through the door. They both took in her appearance and saw only a few things wrong. Her hair was a slight mess, there was blood on the shoulder area of her shirt, and she was wincing. 

“What happened?” Apollo and Melody said with worry. Rose stared at them and she looked shocked and confused like them. 

“Adonia didn’t come, but a little girl did,” she said with hesitation in her voice. It sounded like she was afraid. It caused Apollo to think of a little girl that existed, a creature that followed him and Rose everywhere.

Lumie. 

He walked over to her and held her hands, gently. “Please, tell me what happened. Leave no details out.” His voice became serious and rushed, no longer calm and relaxed. This was a threat on her life now, no matter how big or small it was. This meant her life was now in more danger than normal. 

Rose took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm herself. “Well, here’s what happened.”

.

.

.

Rose got on her horse, Winter, and rode all the way to the Athena statue. It was a statue but also a worshipping place. It was in the woods, but in a clearing and safe place. The idea of meeting her there had her letting out a little scoff mixed with a laugh. Athena, Goddess of war, is now going to be a ‘witness’ to two women fighting or at least confronting each other. 

‘Of course she would want to meet there.’

After around ten minutes, she ended up at the statue, and she didn’t see Adonia. There was no other horse, no other figure, nothing. It was just the statue and Rose. She got off her horse and walked over to the statue. She stood in front of it and looked around it, and behind it, thinking she’s hiding. However, instead of Adonia, she found another girl.

“Oh, hello, Rose!” The voice came from the top of the statue and Rose stepped back and looked up at the top. There was a girl with a purple dress on, black lace gloves, light pink hair in pigtails, and black boot like shoes on. She looked around thirteen or fourteen, and Rose felt worried for the girl. She was sitting on top of Athena’s head, swinging her legs, and it looked like she would fall over any second.

“Little girl! You shouldn’t be up there,” she shouted to her, panic making her heart start to race. And then her head suddenly began to pound. She felt...some kind of Déjà vu, but she worried more about the girl. 

The little girl let out a scoff and waved her off.

“Oh, little old me? I’m perfectly fine,” she said with a clear, kind voice, but it was fake. It was too high pitched to be comfortable for her to say. She then jumped down and landed on her feet, perfectly fine. She didn’t even wince when her feet touched the ground, even though she should have. Rose was taken aback and stared at her in shock. 

“I think it’s you who should be afraid.”

“Why should I be afraid? What do you know?” 

The girl rubbed her hands together as she began to pace slowly. “Well, I know a lot of things, Rose. The more important question is, what do you know?” 

“What do I know?”

The girl let out a giggle that went on for too long. “Yes! There’s...so much more going on behind the scenes of everything here. Everything is set into place, set into motion, and you can’t stop it. You never have been able to.”

“What do you mean!” Her voice was shouting with anger. She remembered Adonia’s threat and began to worry for all of her family.

‘What things are going to happen? What has she done? Did Adonia do this?’

“Did Adonia do this? That’s the question you think of? Why not ask what my name is? What is the price of all of this? Can you stop this? What is really happening?” As she said those, Rose began to open her mouth to shout questions, but the girl interrupted her.

“My name is Lumie. You already know that. Well, a different version of you knows that. Isn’t that kind of funny? You think you know me, and you do, but you really don’t. Life is so funny like that,” she said with a creepy smile as she stopped pacing and looked directly at Rose. 

“This isn’t funny. Was it you who killed Rhea? Or was it really Adonia?”

Lumie let out a gasp, offended at the mere idea of accusing her. “Me? Absolutely not! I’m just...a watcher in this. I watch everything unfold and play my role when it comes. Isn’t it the same as life?”

“What do you mean ‘your role’? What game? This is life, not a game!” Her voice kept getting louder from the anger building inside of her. She had to know who this girl was, what she meant, what she did, and what she’s talking about. 

“It doesn’t matter what I mean. You won’t remember or understand at all. Plus, there’s more watchers. Some you know and some you don’t. Some want you dead and some don’t, but you don’t know who it is. And you never will,” Lumie said with another creepy giggle. 

“Is it Adonia? What does she want?” 

“I’ll give you a hint, one watcher is Adonia, and another watcher is someone you don’t know,” she said as she held out her two hands in a scale like motion. “One is stronger and one is weaker. I guess you’ll have to find out who it really is,” she said as she laughed one last time. She pointed into the woods and gasps. “It’s Adonia!”

Rose fell for it and turned around in a quick motion, but didn’t see or hear anything. However, she did feel a scratch motion against the bottom of her neck. She let out a little shout and turned around to see anyone, but no one was there. Lumie was gone, and fear and panic was the only thing left.

Rose reached behind her neck and tried to find the wound, wanting to see how bad it was. She hissed when she touches it, and knew she had to get back to the ship now. 

She got back on Winter and began to gallop away. However, she couldn’t help but look behind her when she got a littles away. She saw a figure leaning out from behind the statue, staring at the direction where Rose was. She felt creeped out, but continued to ride back to the ship, hoping she would be okay, and that her crew would be safe. 

.

Hehe anyways >:))). I was going to make it a bit longer, but I couldn’t think of a title for this chapter?? Literally?? Could not, so I just focused on the grief parts to go with the title hirjewds. But yeah!! I hope you both liked this one!! There’s proofreading but my bad if something is wrong!