#also ​it makes way more sense for knives to be the naive one as a kid

[ocdhuacheng]

This is so funny how can you say vash was out of character in the manga as a kid bc

1) it’s literally the original form of media for trigun. If anything 98 and stampede vash were out of character as kids

2) I don’t know if you realize this but vash is 150 years old and has gone through several lifechanging events and revelations and I think that is enough to change how he acts at different points in his life. He is not the same person 150 years later as he was as a kid.

3) “knives should have stabbed rem” he was too busy being in a coma

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

TriMax Vol. 2 and Wolfwood

First want to shout out to everyone participating in the book club!! I’m getting so much more out of this reread of TriMax, thanks to listening to everyone’s thoughts as we read along! I’m seeing things in a new light and getting details I never spotted before! I’m so grateful we get to dissect such a meaty story and characters together, because there’s so much and so many legit ways to interpret things! We love us all some deep space planet future gun LITERATURE around here!

Okay, now, I promised to have some actual THOUGHTS, and now just share funny panels, so here’s something that stood out to me: watching Wolfwood’s arc unfold and his growing understanding of who Vash is and what his goals are.

In volume 2 of Trigun, Wolfwood felt like a character whose story got truncated by the manga being dropped by the publisher. He clearly had a backstory and was going to play an important role, but Shenanigans meant whatever those original plans were didn't pan out. So instead we hit TriMax Vol1 and this relative stranger is the one who pulls Vash out of retirement. It’s pretty strange, and it must be extra strange if you’ve never seen either anime adaptation, which both expand on Vash and Wolfwood’s interactions and relationships before Vash hits his Eriks era. In that case it makes more sense for Wolfwood to go after Vash, by then an old friend, but I’m not going to give TriMax too much of a hard time, since, again, publishing Fuckery. And really it’s not handled poorly or anything, it’s just strange.

Anyway, Wolfwood’s role in Vol1 seems to be as an external force to push Vash along when he’d Rather Not, and to serve as a contrast/dissenting voice against Vash’s optimism and philosophy. See the family feud/hostage taking in particular. Wolfwood constantly argues that Vash is naive or trying to save everyone, and selfish for trying to not get his hands dirty. Given what Wolfwood (and the reader) know about Vash at this point, it’s an understandable conclusion to make. Even when his adoptive home and family were in danger, Vash didn’t do anything to stop the violence, to the point of trying to downplay the sexual harassment of a child. Vash didn’t push back against the bandits until Wolfwood pushed him. Why would Wolfwood believe Vash is anything other than a holier-than-thou prick who is too cowardly to make the kinds of choices Wolfwood’s had to make? (And though we didn’t know what those were at the time, Wolfwood clearly spoke from experience.)

Then we have Vash intervene in the family feud/hostage crisis, with his new red coat and everything. He uses his reputation to clear out the civilians, then his uncanny abilities to take out most of the hostiles without killing them, until he is confronted with the grieving father about to kill his daughter’s murderer. This is *exactly* the kind of situation Wolfwood warned him about, about family willing to take up violence if their loved ones are hurt, about having to make a deadly choice and become the devil. And we see Vash struggle! He empathizes with the father’s desire for revenge, directly mirrored against Vash’s own grief over Rem and hatred of his brother! But he chooses to intervene anyway, choosing not to beg for the murderer’s life, but for the father to not commit a terrible crime. In the end no one dies, and by not continuing the cycle of violence that led to his daughter’s death, the father is also spared. Vash found another way out.

This is the first time Wolfwood witnessed a demonstration of Vash’s philosophy in practice, proof that it’s about more than just ‘killing is wrong’, it’s also about empathy, and stopping future violence before it an happen.

Which brings us to Vol.2, where we really start to understand more about Wolfwood.

We know he’s a Gung-Ho-Gun, and we know he witnessed the Fifth Moon for himself, so the audience knows why he knows about Knives, and can guess why he’s helping Vash (since their goal is now ‘eternal suffering’). We know he doesn’t particularly want to be there, so what brought him here? He dreams of the kids at the orphanage he’s referenced before, begging their big brother to hold him, only for Wolfwood to smile sadly, then hold up his bloody hands and say he has no right to hug them anymore.

And then after Wolfwood kills Rai-dei, we get one of the most stunning panels in the manga.

And by stunning I do mean that literally. Every time I’ve read this volume, I have to stop for a moment when I hit this page. Others have talked about its composition in detail, so I won’t dig too much into it here. This is such a pivotal scene for both characters, their understandings of each other, and as a setup for Future Stuff.

Wolfwood has just seen Vash do something stupid and naive AGAIN, but turning his back to Rai-dei, who was about to attack Vash again. Wolfwood killed Rai-dei to protect Vash, then Vash lashed out in anger, saying he wasn’t going to go through with the attack. Probably. Wolfwood, fucking pissed about all this, demands Vash shoot him if he thinks what Wolfwood did was wrong. Wolfwood believes that Vash needs to dirty his hands, to become a demon (like Wolfwood has) in order to save people, and anything else is childish nonsense. In this moment he says he’s willing to give up his life if that means Vash would become the kind of person Wolfwood believes he has to be.

Then Vash plays his reverse uno, saying that he sees Wolfwood as the coward in this moment, for valuing his life so little, for being so ready to give up hope and toss his own life away. He sees Wolfwood has someone who was forced to play a role he never wanted, to become someone he didn’t want to be.

Vash reads Wolfwood like a book, and it disarms the situation. (Empathy again plays a role in ending a violent conflict!)

We already got a sense that Wolfwood is someone who loves very deeply, we saw that in the dream with the orphans. We see in that same dream that he’s someone who’s willing to bloody his hands, and hates himself for it. The next chapter opens with a flashback of child Wolfwood being shot for the first time, and as he suffers horrific pain, says that he thinks for the first time (!!!) that he didn’t want to die.

We see next chapter that this conflict gets under Wolfwood’s skin, he’s still thinking about it, even thinking that Vash putting others’ live above his own “makes me sick”. The next time we see them talk about ethics is on the way to Vash’s home while they’re in the cable car, Wolfwood reiterating that he has to make the choices he does because he has (human) limits. Then Vash admits that he doesn’t know if his way is the right one! In a moment of vulnerability we haven’t seen until now, Vash shares his doubts about his philosophy. In response, Wolfwood says nothing. He doesn’t take the moment to pry open the crack in the armor Vash shows him, just listens.

In this volume we’re starting to see the shape of Wolfwood’s story arc, of his conflict with Vash, and a growing understanding between them. I won’t say more to avoid story spoilers, but this volume does such a good job of planting the seeds of future arcs for both characters, with the “Shoot” scene in particular coming back in a big way more than once.

What I love LOVE about Trigun is that it’s not interested in determining who is morally superior, because moral absolutes do not exist. The narrative doesn’t put down Wolfwood’s philosophy, and though we see Vash succeed in his efforts to save people without loss of life, we see him fail just as often, if not more. Trigun invites us to understand why these people believe the world works a certain way, and how those ideas clash with reality. This is something that becomes much stronger later, we’re still very early in the story, but it’s something to keep in mind going forward.

One last thing to note, though it’s not as strong a thread in this volume, is that alongside Wolfwood’s growing understanding of Vash, is his growing fear of his inhumanity. We know Wolfwood witnessed the Fifth Moon, and that’s one thing, but we know from Wolfwood’s internal thoughts that Vash being inhuman is something that’s always on his mind, and always plays a factor when they’re arguing. To Wolfwood it’s the thing that separates them as people, Wolfwood has human limits, and Vash doesn’t, and that’s the only reason Vash can believe  and behave the way he does. (Is he right? That’s a question for the future). This is also the chapter where he gets a closer look at Vash’s power, where he sees Vash CRY BLOOD, and then a wave of darkness paralyzes Wolfwood, and Vash emits some kind of blast or wave that doesn’t hurt or damage anything, but frightens both Wolfwood and Leonof. Again, this is a bigger factor later, but it’s worth remembering that Wolfwood is tackling his perception of Vash as monstrous and dangerous alongside his more emotional understanding of who Vash is.

That’s all for now. That’s a lot of words and I don’t have the energy to go back and edit this, so if you see typos, no you didn’t.

[icanseethefuture333]

Can I ask you to do a little reading on Chris evans and Ana de armas bond? How they saw each other in the beginning when they first worked together in knives out and how they see each other now, what’s their bond like, what do they think of their current correspondent partners. Thank you angel !

Chris Evan's first impression of Ana De Armas:

For Chris' first impressions of Ana, he could of saw her as the embodiment of Taurus characteristics: Serene, down to earth, and tenacious. Very feminine and poised. It could of been obvious to him as well she was a foreigner and that peaked his interest? Chris wanted to learn more about her culture and what her traditions were. "You're breaking my heart here." I believe he sees her beauty and charm as something that would potentially hurt him. Or, this could mean he asked her out and she rejected him.

Channeled song:

Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John & Kiki Dee

Ana De Armas' first impression of Chris Evans:

"He is always surrounded by beautiful and luxurious women". Ana could see Chris as someone who is a playboy - Wealthy, flirtatious, and attractive. (NSFW) She could of heard things about his sex life or was curious about it 😭? She is sexually attracted to him. Ana finds Chris to be very funny as well. She finds his optimism, good sense of humor, and sunny disposition cute, charming, and infectious. She also finds him to be childish.

Current thoughts of each other:

Left is Chris. Center is their shared thoughts. Right is Ana.

So obviously... there is romantic tension between them. Chris has been trying for a while now for this relationship to happen, but Ana is just not interested. She is a wish fulfillment for him, is he manifesting her? Seems so. Ana is more focused on her career and accomplishing her goals. She sees Chris as someone who's popular and successful, but she is unsure if this is the energy she wants to be around long term. "I don't want people to say I am famous because of him, I wish to make my own success, I will not let a man take that away from me." Good for Ana, honestly 😳. Xenophobia and misogyny in the entertainment industry are also the major factors as to why she's rejecting Chris. Ana doesn't want to be accused of "sleeping her way to the top", she feels that will continue a harmful stereotypes/beliefs about hispanic/latina women. This is something Chris is not understanding and acting naive to because of his privileges. He is just focusing more on the fact he wants to be with her vs the concerns she has. "If we're happy then who cares what other people think?"

Their opinions about each other's partners:

Left is Chris. Center is their shared thoughts. Right is Ana.

"You chose him over me?!" Chris is jealous of Ana's partner. He is very opinionated about their relationship honestly, so I will just leave it at that 💀. He feels her partner is in the way.

Something sneaky is afoot... I'm getting a vision of a phone, they could be send each other like late night texts? There is a sense of not wanting to get caught. I'm getting Chris is the one overall who is reaching out to her and Ana is not having it. She doesn't wish to reveal her feelings to him. Ana doesn't like the idea of being vulnerable. There goes that Taurus energy lol. She is very stubborn. "Why would I care about his partner? I have a job to do". Ana is too busy focusing on her bag then worrying about what that man does. This could also mean she's using work as a way to avoid reality.

Channeled songs:

Creep by TLC

On The Hotline by Pretty Ricky

The Other Woman by Lana Del Rey

She Works Hard For The Money by Donna Summer

[sourtoasterstrudel]

I’ve been on a magical girl kick recently so i wanted to share these slightly older madoka magica au doodles I made. I’d love to draw more magical girls in the future because i have way too many ideas related to them.

This is technically also a genderbent au but it was required. Anyways i want to share my notes on the au

Kylie was approached about becoming a magical girl while her little sister was in the hospital, so her wish caused her to become more of a protector magical girl, with less focus on the strength of her weapons and more on the amount of them. She’s definitely the most agile of the girls, being able to fire a ton of daggers at enemies (similar to mami’s power but with knives? I dunno). She’s been doing this the second longest out of the group next to kelly. For a special ability thing I think she’d have some sort of like— anti gravity boots that let her walk on walls and shit

As for Stella, she’s the newest magical girl in town and I think she’d be the most naive of the group, especially surrounding how much power she has (I mean her wish was for her dad to disappear because she was angry with him, which she now regrets so making her be the most oblivious to how godlike some of their abilities are makes sense). Her weapon is bulky and not exactly the best for a beginner. Kylie tries to help out when she can but for the most part Stella just needs to figure out her fighting style by herself

Erica is of course still a selfish monster, which I had a lot of fun symbolizing in her soul gem (as I mention In the drawing it resembles a grief seed even in its regular form. Since the witches are the ‘corrupt’ versions of a magical girl I think Erica already starting off with that darkness in her makes sense). She has a fair amount of armour on her compared to the other girls, despite the fact magical girls can’t exactly get hurt, which I think kinda shows her self-centred nature. She knew Kylie before they became magical girls, and they were actually quite friendly, until Kylie got her abilities and Erica became envious. I think that when Erica becomes a witch, unlike the other magical girls, she’d have full control. It’d be like her final form instead of being a dark form (I think that that’s how her wish would be fulfilled. Her witch form is how she can be the most powerful magical girl). Dunno I thought far too into her design

Lastly Kelly. She signed her contract at 12, wishing for her family to be rich as an attempt at making her parents kinder. It fails but at least her and her siblings have nice things now (right?). Even in her magical girl form she keeps her more thrifty diy style she adopted as a kid, hanging grief seeds off of her coat as decoration. She’s not the strongest of the group by any means but she is the one with the most experience which constantly benefits her. She has a special ability she calls her ‘second life’, which was a result of her wish. It essentially allows her to kill and clone her body as like— a defence mechanism (I don’t know if that makes sense). Her witch form, Midas, is a representation of her greed and hopes that money would fix all of her problems.

I would add more but this is getting really long so if you read through all of this, I’m proud of you : )

[lurkingpuddle]

Tumblr won me over with pretty GIFs and amazing fanart to finally sit down and watch Trigun. I started with 1998 series, and it's really good.

God, it seems impossible to not love Vash. As a big time connoisseur of moody angsty characters, I enjoy spicing it up with positive angsty charactets. That's just a good subspecies. And the fact that he holds fast to his idealistic principals in all situations is rather inspiring. Normally I would find that kind of character annoying, because they are often played as naive fools who are detached from reality. But Vash has more depth than that, and he makes it work. With him it looks more like a true and earnest dream rather than delusion. I suppose it's not in small thanks to the fact that he is ready to pay big price and sacrifice so much of himself for the sake of that dream. Even thought Wolfwood wouldn't agree most of the time.

And god, Wolfwood. He plays so good against Vash. All of us is Woolfwood here, I feel. Like, being ready to choose a lesser evil (but evil nonetheless) in bad situations, when Vash would fight tooth and nail to get a third option. And I like how show portrays his methods as also legit options with acceptable outcomes from time to time. Or at least doesn't condemn him outright for the way he thinks. His logic Makes Sense, and it's not hard to agree with him when presented with similar situation.

In the trolley problem Wolfwood would pull the lever to kill one guy when Vash would shoot the trolley untill it derailed and fell on its side without killing anyone, basically.

Like, inside the limits of the problem Wolfwood is right, but in the wider scope Vash's solution is superior, and it requires thinking outside of the box. And a lot of bullets.

I still haven't finished the series, tho I am close. I wonder if Vash's idealism will hold when faced with someone who you just can't beat into submission without strangling them to death. You know, someone like Knives.

[succ-my-coke]

Trigun Stampede ep 1

-THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR TRUGUN STAMPEDE!!!!-

I gotta say that the first episode of this remake is really living up to my hopes and dreams. While a shall forever be disappointed that it’s not a full redo I’ll be content with this I think. I’m gonna talk about my thoughts/feelings/observations about the new series and what’s different so far. THIS IS NOT A SUMMARY

Characters

1. Vash - I’m loving his characterization right off the bat, he’s goofy, kind, and has his serious moments, pretty true to his original character. I do like however that he doesn’t seem as jaded(so far) because they seem to be portraying him as younger than he was in the original. His introduction of a batshit evil laugh was amazing honestly. I had some initial issues with his redesign but I think it meshes well with the character. His arm being addressed and then instantly being used to make a joke was great honestly, very on brand. I think it’s really interesting that they are having him be more actively involved with the plants and their upkeep unlike the original where he only interfered occasionally.

2. Meryl - so far I feel like Meryl has been changed the most. She’s much younger in this, it’s called out specifically that she just graduated from a fancy school and seems to be very naive. Nothing at all like the original character. She does have her stubbornness and morals which is good and I think her over all character here will mesh well but may not be as bad ass and the original Meryl. Her design though is kickass and very reflective of how young she is

3. Roberto De Niro - A new character! One that I have nothing to compare against! I think he’s really ingesting so far. Obviously very jaded and aware of the how bad the world is but Al’s has some sense of morals. He doesn’t seem to be a reporter that cares about leads to much but he does know how to throw his status around and use it to help out.

4. Knives - we saw very little of him in this episode but what we did see was pretty cut and dry evil. He’s got and evil organ and some control over the wildlife of the planet, using it to spy on his brother. I did like the larger emphasis on him attempting to have Rem be saved as well as them. His design is extremely interesting when compared to Vash’s. Knives completely seems to embrace his inhuman tech side while Vash is trying very hard to look human.

Observations

1. I found the pacing interesting for the first episode. There’s already some man ikr things being addressed such as the plants and Knives and their connection to Vash. The new series obviously isn’t shying away from these things like the original material did and it makes me wonder about how the plot progression is going to go.

2. I am likening all things being used, the setting of Jenora rock and the references to the city of Julai (July I believe) and the direct reference to the Bad Lads gang. Speaking of which I am truly excited for the possibility or brilliant dynamites neon to be animated in this way I think it would be spectacular on all levels.

3. The people of jenora rock are used in two ways I think. 1. To show that Vash is a good guy and not what he seems to be despite his bounty. And he’s known for things despite his crimes. 2. That while the legend of the humanoid typhoon is widespread the bounty is not common knowledge.

4. The design for the plants are completely new as far as we’ve seen. I’m looking forward to seeing how they are going to address the design of the plants themselves, the original anime made them seem a little more monstrous than angelic and the manga was more angelic that human so I wonder agent they will look like. I also can’t wait to see what the red plant means.

5. The entire scene where Vash is begging for a bullet from anyone already shows so many things. The first being that Vash is a complete goof. The second being that Meryl has a strong sense of involvement with things, unlike her mentor. The third being that people are willing to help him even with his bounty, this being shown by Rosa giving a bullet to him. Also the scene is a great call back to the first episode of the original anime where something similar happens with Vash in a tight spot with no bullets however he has no one to help him out there.

Overall I’m really pleased with the start of the new adaptation and I’ll see you all on the 14th for episode 2!

[longhands-the-second]

Trimax volume 2:

Here’s some thought soup.

Turns out I was actually able to wait to read until this week lol. I’m glad I did. I have a feeling this is only going to get more depressing from here on and I’m gonna need the pacing for my mental health.

So just… everything about Wolfwood here. He’s already better realized than pretty much the entirety of 98, I think (<- biased). I said “what the Fuck” out loud several times during this volume which is always fun. I’m going to do a second read before posting this so I can keep my thoughts in better order.

1- It’s at this point I think that maybe I should check the tws for this manga lol. Did this bother me? Not really. Am I scared of the potential now? Yes. Yes I Am. (I see that damn hand gore warning for a late volume and I am Dreading that shit)

Vash just looks so… soft here? I want to squish his cheeks so bad. It’s the power of Loose Button Down at work. A good weapon to have in your arsenal.

I hate it when you can just. Tell he’s making a promise that the narrative won’t let him keep.

On a reread the end of this volume makes more sense. Are they all…? I hope the fuck not.

2- Legato is really just getting more animalistic. There’s something off about him/his survival instincts but it’s kind of impossible to tell Exactly what it is without reading that far ahead. (Speaking of how uh. Explicit is his backstory? Do I need to make myself a nice cup of tea for after I finish reading that volume???)

I really, really appreciate that the gung-ho guns aren’t as one note as I expected. I have to wonder what got them all here, individually?

I wonder what specifically Vash thinks about Wolfwood here, what he knows and what he doesn’t. Is he like, aware that he saw what happened with the moon? Vash isn’t stupid, so I’m sure the thought crossed his mind that Wolfwood could’ve been working with Knives, but he’s also dead fucking set on seeing the best in people. Stay tuned, I guess.

Calling Vash selfish… there’s something there. He does have a tendency to ignore what people want when it comes to this kind of thing- which, yeah, that’s fair when it comes to killing people, but it’s also kind of not his place. Thinking very hard about the other post i saw this week about the end of the last volume.

Another thought that comes to mind is the way Vash thinks he’d just be letting things happen (therefore had some responsibility) in a lot of situations despite it being entirely on someone else. He refuses to just let it be. It makes sense given what happened to Rem, but I still have. Thoughts. He makes me so fucking sad.

The way Vash just fucking shuts down when they threaten Lina. None of them deserve any of this it makes me feel gross and bad.

3- How did he forget about the arm gun. That shit is the most important thing to remember smh

Where’s that one post that’s like “world where guns exist and swords are useless except in the hands of this one guy”

Literally impossible to follow the action but the punchline lands ig lmao

4- god this hurts. He just wants people to live. He just wants to live.

I think a lot of what this is about is sunk-cost, like somebody else mentioned. Digging your heels in further even if you know you’re wrong. I see in the gung-ho guns, Knives especially, but also definitely Vash. I haven’t fully former my thoughts on Vash yet though, i have to see where he goes from here to really make any judgements

God fucking damn it wolfwood. I know it made sense but MAN.

I love how angry Vash is allowed to get in the manga. He can really be scary sometimes.

People can’t change their minds if they’re dead. I think that’s the easiest way to summarize it.

I love how fucked up they are <3

Vash isn’t naive. He’s smart and he’s got years of experience to back him up. I know this. This is proof of it. But damn sometimes he really is incomprehensible in a way that makes me need the reminder.

GORLS

Hitchhiking on nomansland stresses me out as a concept.

5- wolfwood is really gonna rip my heart out isn’t he

“Vash can’t drive” saga (you’d think he’d be good at it given his other skills. Exposure maybe? I doubt he has frequent access to that kind of thing.)

They’re both fucking exhausted and YET-

I need to start a counter of times when i stop to go “oh vash is so pretty in this panel” but it’d be well over half of these posts

THAT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PANELS

God he’s just zombie-ing his way through this isn’t he

The fucking limp wristed gun is everything to me

The missile is eepy and neebies to sleeby

6- obsessed with this version of home aesthetically.

Vash really just wants to be left alone. Grumpy old man.

Seriously though im in love with this whole setup. It’s beautiful.

It feels kind of illegal to be here though. Like we’re revisiting something that should be long gone. How much is this like the ship he grew up on?

He goes from the breaking point to being so excited to see everybody he’s crying. This physically fucking hurts to read

7- FUCKIN LEAVE HIM ALONE. GIVE HIM A GOD DAMN BREAK.

Literally this chapter makes me sick to my stomach i hate it i hate it

(Side Note, I have some colorings in the works, but it’s gonna be a WHILE until I get them finished. Very excited to share when I do though, I’ve been absolutely losing my shit about the love the others I’ve done have been getting from y’all. I see ur tags and they make my goddamn day. Thank you.)

((Additional Side Note, I am SO fucking excited to get my hands on the wwvd bracelets I ordered lol. I won’t be able to actually wear them for a few weeks though. I had to send it to my parents address. smh my head, man.))

[septembersghost]

maybe a heavy question for a tuesday night but—how do you manage to be tender and soft and open-hearted without feeling bruised all the time? or, i guess, how do you cope with feeling bruised all the time, if that is how you feel? i feel lately like an exposed nerve, like i’m too vulnerable by half and everyone is pointing and laughing. i feel like i ought to have a thicker skin but i don’t necessarily want to lose the tenderness. i don’t know what to do, i guess.

oh darling anon. i'm sending so much love to you. there is never a wrong time for this kind of question. i don't know if there's a right answer.

so here's what i will tell you from my own experience, subjective though it may be - i have always been an overly sensitive soul, a little too soft and easily wounded, tender heart that's maybe too naively trusting and forgiving. i used to get told to "toughen up" by various people (excluding my mom), there were even (male) family members who'd tease me intentionally at gatherings to try and make me cry because they misguidedly thought that this would cause me to be stronger. and it just made me feel worse, because i felt like there was something too fragile and broken in me, that i'd never be good enough or resilient enough to matter. that somehow the softness was weakness or childishness. it's something i couldn't change. and even when it's a compliment, it can be sharp-edged - you're so sweet, but so quiet! the kindness being something you try for, but the quiet being fear.

many years ago, after i went through a specific traumatic experience, i turned on myself, drove those knives inward, but also briefly lashed out. it's the only time in my life that i reacted in an aggressive way from the wounds. there was a span of months where i was unrecognizably dark and cynical and bitter, numbed to the softer and brighter things i try to hold. (and i was angry, but i don't think anger automatically is a negative thing, it depends how you channel it.) i was also s****dal, and miring myself in such a dark headspace definitely didn't make that better. it was brutal, and when i started to surface on the other side, claw my way back through the thorns of it, i realized...hardening myself like that was worse. it made the whole world feel heavier, and meaner, and harder to find my bearings in, because it simply wasn't me. i fought bloody to get the true sense of myself back, and she is soft and silly and too sensitive and cries a lot, and it's okay. it's okay because it's true, and being true is the only way you don't sink under the worst waves. i strove not to ever lose that again.

(it's why i keep: be soft, and i want to still have a sharp pen and thin skin and an open heart, and you have to be wearing a suit of armor, but have a liquid heart and soul, close in my mind all the time. like little prayers, affirmations. we are allowed to be this way. to exist in our tenderness.)

i know it makes you feel bruised and delicate, and cut open to the ache of the world at times, and like a flayed nerve at times. i know those moments are exhausting and echo around in your head. the only thing i can say is that i also believe being open-hearted is a gift. you feel things deeply and it makes the world richer and more beautiful, it doesn't only give you the pain, it gives you the wonder and the joy too. it doesn't mean it's easy, on the contrary it often is not. to be tender is to be so human. having a great capacity for love is a mitzvah, a blessing. there is no one who is tender quite like you. no one has your heart. this universe needs all the kindness it can get. you are rare and essential. consider that softness like a living thing - if you put it in the dark, it will wither and fade away, but if you let it stay in the light, it will keep doing its very best to blossom and show all its colors. that's what you are, all shimmer and color. those who truly value you will see that and treasure it, but the most important thing is to keep it for you. it's not a weakness. it's a strength.

[the-savage-garden]

Nitpicking ACOWAR Ch 10 +11

I meant to post this awhile ago but I recently returned to the One Piece train that I forgot about this whole thing, oops. I finally figured out how to do the 'keep reading' thing though!

Chapter 10

-Somehow Brannagh is cradling Ianthe now?

-”I let my mask drop.” I hate the mask theme, just the way it’s thrown around bothers me.

-”...noting the flanking positions they were too casually establishing around me.” Now I’m confused about where Brannagh is supposed to be.

-[“What could be more important than assisting us? You are, after all, sworn to assist our king.” Time—biding their time until Tamlin returned from hunting with Jurian.] I hate how the book decided that Tamlin is with Hybern, it’s not built up to him being on their side at all. It’s written like it’s an assured thing now.

-Lucien notices things. What’s the point of this?

-“I am a free person, allowed to go where and when I will it.” “Are you?” Brannagh is asking a question I want to know. Like, is Feyre really free to do what she wants in this book series? Everyone tells her what to do all the time, even Rhys. The only thing Feyre has actually chosen is to go back to Spring and have her revenge on Tamlin (even though Tamlin legitimately thought she was in danger and it’s not been brought up even once).

-“Such careful plotting these weeks, such skilled maneuvering. You didn’t seem to worry that we’d be doing the same.” I was honestly really confused why Feyre was just ignoring the twins so much, her priorities made no sense to me.

-”They weren’t letting Lucien leave this clearing alive. Or at least with his mind intact.” Why do they care about Lucien? He hasn’t been against them, for all they know only Feyre sent the Bogge after them.

-”...understanding that there was no way they’d reveal this without knowing they’d get away with it.“ But everyone knows that Hybern is evil, how would anyone be surprised by this? Even Tamlin thinks they’re the bad guys! Do the twins not know? There has been no indication that anyone from Hybern is good.

-[“Take the Spring Court,” I said, and meant it. “It’s going to fall one way or another.” Lucien snarled. I ignored him.] Even Lucien here still cares for Spring.

-[“Oh, we intend to,” Brannagh said…] It was very clear that Hybern was going to take down Spring, I don’t know why the book doesn’t let Tamlin see it.

-”I thumbed free two of the Illyrian fighting knives.” Is this the only reason Feyre stole the weapons from Tamlin, to use them in this fight? Ugh.

-“Haven’t you wondered at the headaches? How things seem a little muffled on certain mental bonds?” This is the explanation? I thought it was because Feyre is still new to her powers, this is disappointing.

-”Crushed faebane stone, ground so fine you couldn’t see or scent or taste it in your food.” Can you even smell or taste faebane?

-“We’ve been daemati for a thousand years, girl,” Dagdan sneered. “But we didn’t even need to slip into her mind to get her to do our bidding. But you … what a valiant effort you put up, trying to shield them all from us.” The book makes this too convenient, Feyre knew they were daemati but was naive enough to believe they wouldn’t do anything against her? I know she’s young but seriously?

-”Dagdan’s mind speared for Lucien’s, a dark arrow shot between them.” Weird way to describe their magic, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to imagine with mind powers.

-“What apple,” I bit out. “The one you shoved down your throat an hour ago,” Brannagh said. “Grown and tended in the king’s personal garden, fed a steady diet of water laced with faebane. Enough to knock out your powers for a few days straight, no shackles required. And here you are, thinking no one had noticed you planned to vanish today.” She clicked her tongue again. “Our uncle would be most displeased if we allowed that to happen.” What did I just read? I hate how easy things are. Also, wait, an apple tree was given faebane and it somehow makes the apples have it too?

-”...but then I’d abandon Lucien to them if he somehow couldn’t manage to himself with the faebane in his system from the food at the camp—” What kind of leap in logic is this? All the food at camp was laced with faebane too? So wouldn’t Tamlin be under the effects of it too?

-”Leave him. I should and could leave him. “ Was this why their supposed friendship was brought up so much? To add drama to this moment?

“I made my choice.” ACOMAF made me hate the whole “my choice” thing and being reminded of it is giving me trauma.

-”And even a thousand years wasn’t enough for Dagdan to adequately prepare as I winnowed in front of him and struck.” Feyre went from being out of her depth to competent real fast.

-”I sliced through the front of his leather armor, not deep enough to kill, and as steel snagged on its plates…” Is it leather armor or not? Because plates refer to metal armor I’m pretty sure.

-”...months of Cassian’s brutal training clicked into place as I kept my feet under me.” This makes it obvious how inexperienced Feyre is but somehow she’s able to go toe-to-toe with a Hybern prince and commander? She also has faebane in her system, she should be struggling more in this fight.

-”I had the vague sense of Lucien gaping, even Brannagh taken aback by my show of skill against her brother.” I’m losing my mind.

-”Buying time. Wearing me down until my body fully absorbed that apple and its power rendered me nearly mortal.” Earlier when Feyre shielded Lucien she struggled but now the book is saying that she hasn’t fully absorbed the faebane? But they’ve been giving her faebane since their stay? Make up your mind.

-”Brannagh screamed as a wall of flame slammed into her.” Apparently Feyre did this and not Lucien?

-”Her focus wholly on me, on taking from me the beauty I’d burned from her…” Why is everything so focused on losing beauty? Someone’s vain…

-”Until Lucien’s sword refracted the light of the sun leaking through the canopy.” It’s day? This whole thing is happening in broad daylight? How has no one noticed this?

-”A tremor shuddered through the clearing—like some thread between the twins had been snipped as Brannagh’s dark head thudded onto the grass.” Wait, is this supposed to imply that the twins are soulmates? What the hell? I thought soulmates in this world are supposed to be making powerful offspring but if they’re related doesn’t that defeat the purpose?

-”I let him fall atop his sister, the thud of flesh on flesh the only sound.” Ew, why’d you put focus on that?

-”I merely looked at Ianthe, my power guttering, a hideous ache building in my gut, and made my last command, amending my earlier ones.” I forgot Ianthe was still here. Also faebane seems kind of useless since Feyre can still do this.

-“You tell them I killed them. In self-defense. After they hurt me so badly while you and Tamlin did nothing. Even when they torture you for the truth, you say that I fled after I killed them—to save this court from their horrors.” I want to keep this in mind for the future.

-Lucien says he wants to go with Feyre to the Night Court. But, like, the only reason he does is obviously because of Elain and not for any other reason.

-”I just gritted my teeth against the sharp pain in my abdomen…” Faebane apparently makes the abdomen hurt if it’s consumed.

-”Blood coated the inside of my mouth by the time we reached the foothills hours later. I was panting, my head throbbing, my stomach a twisting knot of aching.” The other effects of consuming faebane.

-“It’s—gone,” he said, gasping for breath. “My magic—not an ember. They must have dosed all of us today.” I’m still a little lost with what faebane does.

-”My power pulled away from me like a wave reeling back from the shore. Only there was no return. It just went farther and farther out into a sea of nothing.” Both Feyre and Lucien describe losing their magic differently.

-”I peered at the sun, now a hand’s width above the horizon…” I take it that it’s noon now then? Why mention hours but don’t say noon?

-”The caves—doors, they called them—in those hollows led to other pockets of Prythian. I’d taken one straight Under the Mountain… No door to the Night Court existed…” I guess this is to explain why that one led to UTM, I guess they’re magic “doors” to places?

-”And I would not risk my friends by bringing them here to retrieve me.” Even though you’ve killed the twins already? This is just an excuse to have Feyre and Lucien by themselves isn’t it?

-”A numbness had spread through me.” Is it the faebane or not feeling the mate bond? It’s not clear.

-“The Autumn Court portal is that way.” Now we’re calling them portals instead of doors?

-“I can’t go into Summer. They’ll kill me on sight.” I’d love to see the consequences of what Feyre did to Summer. Like, she only decided to steal from them because Rhys kept guiding her to make that choice instead of making friends with Summer.

-”We sealed off all the other entrances.” Why seal all the entrances up? And whose “we” in all this? I think it’s all the entrances to UTM but I thought there was only one?

-”A faint buzzing and ringing filled my ears. And I felt my magic vanish entirely.” Another symptom of faebane?

-”To the lands of the family who’d betrayed him as badly as this court had betrayed mine.” A single person (Ianthe) was the only one that betrayed you Feyre, everyone else didn’t do anything. Tamlin’s character was inconsistent and still is.

-”I gave him another nod. I’d slid into their minds before we’d left, making sure this door would be left open.” Feyre’s lucky that Hybern didn’t find this the perfect opportunity to use this against you. Where even is the King in all this?

-”...whether it was better to claim the Spring Court for ourselves, or to let it fall to our enemies.” What the hell? Feyre, you can’t just claim Spring like that, that’s not how it works.

-”But it could not remain neutral—a barrier between our forces in the North and the humans in the South. It would have been easy to call in Rhys and Cassian, to have the latter bring in an Illyrian legion to claim the territory when it was weakest after my own maneuverings. Depending on how much mobility Cassian had retained—if he was still healing.” Now it’s just getting worse. Feyre is completely ignoring the whole High Lord thing. Also why hasn’t this happened in the past if Feyre finds it so “easy”?

-”Yet then we’d hold one territory—with five other courts between us. Sympathy might have swayed for the Spring Court; others might have joined Hybern against us, considering our conquest here proof of our wickedness. But if Spring fell to Hybern … We could rally the other courts to us. Charge as one from the North, drawing Hybern in close.” This whole thing, what the hell?

-[“You were right,” Lucien declared at last. “That girl I knew did die Under the Mountain.” I wasn’t sure if it was an insult. But I nodded all the same. “At least we can agree on that.” I stepped into the awaiting cold and dark.] I blame Rhys.

-”And in the distance, so faint I thought I might have imagined it, a beast’s roar cleaved the land.” I’m still confused by Tamlin.

Chapter 11

-Feyre describes the Autumn Court.

-Autumn didn’t post sentries at the “door” and Feyre can’t use her magic to search for Fae.

-”...the risk of revealing our scheming to find me.” So it’s “our scheme” now? Was Feyre actually doing things on her own or not?

-”But my magic was still and frozen. A crutch I’d become too reliant upon.” Since when has Feyre been that reliant on magic? She only recently started using it. Like, if this was the thought process of someone that used magic for years I wouldn’t think much of this but it’s not, it’s for someone that’s quite green. Not to say that Feyre can’t hold her own, I just expect her to be more inexperienced in the story.

-Mentions of time passing to night, I think.

-”...I knew only our need for stealth kept his simmering questions at bay.” Why do they need to sneak through a forest? Other than mentioning no sentries, what’s the point of this?

-They go into another cave, with a makeshift camp there already.

-”...three bedrolls and old blankets…” Why three?

-Lucien mentions he used to stay in this cave before he left Autumn.

-Lucien and Feyre talk.

-”...My friend at the Dawn Court has the same power—her light is identical…” I thought it was the Dawn High Lord’s power (who’s male)?

-“I didn’t tell him for two reasons. One, it felt like kicking a male already down. I couldn’t take that hope away from him.” I rolled my eyes. “Two,” he snapped, “I knew if I was correct and called you on it, you’d find a way to make sure I never saw her.” So… Lucien still cares about Tamlin? Also, the soulmate thing gets brought up again, that seems to be his only motivation now.

-“And that’s why you’re here. Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.” Feyre gets mad at Lucien for not being angry at Tamlin. I also hate this whole bullshit about ownership being thrown around in this story, it became a thing in the 2nd book too.

-Lucien still thinks the Night Court are enemies.

-Feyre gets mad at Lucien for not believing her that Elain is safe, which yeah, they’re sisters, shouldn’t he understand that?

-Lucien questions if Feyre wanted to spare him from her path of destruction because of what it would do to Elain. They sure are friends, huh?

-Lucien continues to question Feyre, asks her if she wanted to kill Tamlin, yada yada.

-Feyre gets tired of debating with Lucien over her choices and tells him to drop it. It makes me wonder if this is to say Feyre regrets her actions now, or SJM doesn’t feel like going deeper into Feyre’s feelings on this whole thing.

-[“My father will hunt you for taking his power if he finds out,” he said into the frigid dark. “And kill you for learning how to wield it.” “He can get in line,” was all I said.] Giving me deja vu again.

-The next morning Feyre and Lucien argue on where to go next. Feyre wants to go north right through where, I guess the direction of Autumn's capital is, but Lucien wants to go either east where the Summer border is or west but Feyre thinks that route will take too long for some reason. Feyre for some reason thinks she can go through Autumn unseen, this is a dumb plan, west should’ve been the better option.

-Feyre dumps her food out because she thinks it’s laced with faebane.

-Feyre gawks at Autumn and admires Lucien, they go fishing. I still don’t know why they’re still being sneaky in the middle of nowhere though.

-They hiked for 5 days, somehow during the 3rd day they went through the Autumn’s capital without any incident.

-Apparently Autumn’s place is called the Forest House. I guess this is the reason why we're here, so SJM can explain the “worldbuilding” of Autumn. Anyway, the House is large and covered in moss.

-Somehow with all this time that’s passed they’re still affected by the faebane. I guess faebane can also affect mate bonds too.

-”...an apple tree, laden with fat, succulent fruit.” I know fat can be used as a synonym for large but this is a weird way to use it.

-”...the bees gorging themselves on fallen apples.” Bees don’t eat like that?

-”After what the Hybern royals had done, I should have sworn off apples forever, but hunger had always blurred lines for me. “ This doesn’t come up much with Feyre’s character but I like the idea of Feyre forgetting herself when she’s hungry.

-“We’ll have to stay out of sight. My father doesn’t pay well for his crops, and the land-workers will earn any extra coin they can.” Beron’s an idiot then, unless he’s getting other food from trade, he should only be reliant on food from local farmers. I’m not an expert on this though.

-”I was able to study for longer than my father allowed my brothers before shoving them out the door to rule over some territory within our lands…” Keeping note of this.

-“I’d say that sounds more High-Lord-like than the life of an idle, unwanted son.” I don’t even know what the High Lords do for this to make sense.

-“Would you want it—your father’s crown?” I thought magic chooses the High Lord, how would someone even be able to get it any other way?

-”...I’d gain a crown—only to rule over a crafty, two-faced people.” This contradicts what was stated earlier, of Lucien learning about his people, at least that’s what I think.

-“But you never answered my question—about why the people here would sell you out.”  Why is there no question mark in this?

-So, the people blame Lucien for not protecting Jesminda from being killed by his family, and when Lucien fled to their houses they gave him back up to his family. What?

-”...right into the steep foothills that leaped into gray, snowcapped mountains that marked the start of the shared range with the Winter Court.” Shouldn’t that be leapt? Or am I crazy for that?

-”If we could get over the border in a day or two…” They hiked through Autumn for like 5 days, how would they be able to go through Winter that fast?

-“How are you not winded,” he panted, hauling himself onto the flat top… “I trained.” Missing question mark. Also I know Feyre trained and all but she shouldn’t have that good of stamina already.

-”My nails barked…” This is the weirdest writing quirk SJM has.

-Lucien added, “You had my back —with them, with Ianthe. Thank you.” Feyre almost cries from this and I find that funny since she was going to leave him behind.

-Feyre manages to fall asleep this time, she goes into Lucien’s mind while she’s sleeping.

-”I had never known how young, how human I looked when I slept. My braid was a rope over my shoulder, my mouth slightly parted, my face haggard with days of little rest and food.” Why this? What’s the point?

-Lucien and Feyre get ambushed by Lucien’s brothers.

[evansencezz]

⚱︎ ⚱︎—SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL— Autum Candell—⚱︎ ⚱︎

notes: oh my god, angst overload, holy shit, average ginger, mental illness, gore, blood, murder, non-cannon aroace autumn, help bro, girlboss autum, she/they pronouns, twin sisters, fucked up autumn, refrenced death insentences, PTSD, untreated mental illness, revenge, anger issues, stressed out autumn, vicous cycle, i feel so bad for her, flashbacks, trauma, actually okay family ig, atleast compared to my other ocs, immoratal??autumn, revenge plot, guns, knives, afraid of heights, afraid of drowning, shes still sexy though, nice tits, lots of murder, mainuplation, yanderes, bondage, theres like one fluff scence and its not even that cute, choking, half-mute autumn, mechanic autumn, i like mechanics, fashion desginer autumn too, why not, lots of fight scences, autumn being alone, no one gets her. so emo, lashing out, very non-touchy autumn, extremely traumatized autumn, yet she still slays, smoking, drinking, a little flirting but nothing serious, autumn hates men, refrenced towards toture, YEAH.., beating the fuck out of someone, autumn dies like alpha, time loop, popular autumn, sort of simaliar to suimuki bc i love both of them, horror, slasher, major character death, rlly sad ending.

Autum sighed as she stitched up her arm, just another wound. Her apartment was empty, filled with only herself.

“Died again?” She questioned herself.

It was strange, usually she could remeber how she died. Or atleast make sense of it, but no. She just practically woke up to herself stitiching.

“Fucking hell..” She scofffed, finally ending the stitch by pulling up and sinching it.

When she dropped the needle, the rest of the thread attached to it came out. She cut it off and poked around at the still somewhat gaping hole in her arm

They dug their fingers into the flesh right above it, frustrated.

“How did I mess up again?? All I want is to..” She hissed.

All they wanted was to be viewed as an actual person. People adimired them for their looks and personality. They didn’t even bother to try and help them or look deeper.

It was funny, she had always been treated kindly by other people. What if the ginger had been ugly, or more mean??

Obviously, they would hate her then, right?

She darkened her eyes before swiftly standing up off of the couch. Her long hair followed her movements, unrestrained by a hairtie or anything.

She looked out at the city of Valentino, loud. She would have some way to make a name for herself, even though most people just knew she just kept coming back.

Of course there was the regular person stummbling across Autumn’s body here and there. Terrifed when she shot up and gasped for air. They always had a look of horror when her emerlad eye connected with theirs.

She grunted and moved to her kitchen. Might aswell make coffee before moving out, right??

Some people might have called her insane for still going out into the world. For living her life, as painfilled as it was.

Once the coffee was brewed, she took a cup and poured it into it, then she sealed it with a lid. Her phone, that was sitting on the counter lit up with a message.

‘hey autumn! i’m outside of your place, ready to hang out?? im really exicted, we haven’t seen each other in so long!’

They grimnaced, Summer. Summer was their older sister an awfully nice girl. So naive.

They placed their cup to the side as they picked up the phone. A photo of them and Summer was the profile picture she had set. A stinging feeling filled their upper chest and they clentched the photo tighter.

“God damnit.” They hissed.

She blinked and slowly texted a response. Meanwhile, the taller ginger looked around the area. They were currently outside of the complex, and got brushed by a few people.

They blinked in surprise but a wide grin formed on their face as they read the message Autumn had sent them.

‘yeah yeah, i’m coming relax’ was all it said.

The older didn’t feel the need to respond, so she didn’t. She also flinched when she noticed someone infront of her.

“Hey, arsenic.” The younger sister greeted.

Dark green eyes immeditally glanced up from her phone. She made immediete eye contact with Autumn.

A soft yet exicted smile formed on her face. The younger looked as she always had. Her ginger hair was in a low ponytail now, tied with a green ribbon.

She also had lots of scars alinging her body, one missing through her right eye but don’t damanging the eye itself. She also had a scar on the left side of her neck in the shape of a lightening bolt.

In all honesty, she did look like someone who had been through way too much.

“Autumn!!” Summer shook her head and quickly hugged her sibling.

The other returned the embrace, all be it lighter. When both of them pulled away the other girl got a good look at what they were wearing. A tight fitting shirt with straps that showed..skin.

Like Summer had mentioned earlier, they had bruises, scars and shittly wrapped banadges around areas. The color of the top was a basic marrow bone colored besige with a skelton desigin.

Autumn also had on low waisted jeans that were a deeper gray and with a belt. Finally, with black combat boots, she looked nice.

“It’s good to see you again.” The younger said.

The taller beamed and moved back a little.

“I could say the same! You look..well..?” She questioned.

The younger twin scoffed and shuffled her feet slightly. Her eyes seemed to dart to her feet for a second before back to Summer’s.

“Just tell me I look like shit.” She blurted out.

The other blinked a few times before laughing. It was nice to see that they honestly knew that they weren’t in the best condition.

“Ah, good to see you still have that same humor! Anyways, wanna’ hit up a cafe’ before we fuck around?” She giggled before smiling with her eyes closed.

The ladder simply nodded. They had that sinking feeling in their stomach again, so they tossed a glance over their shoulder. No one else was there, stop being paranoid Autumn.

“Hey?” They were surprised and tensed when a soft hand shook their shoulder.

Their dark eyes connected with slightly brighter ones. A grin formed onto her sisters face and she made a follow me motion.

“Come on, I know I’M suposed to be the ONE visting YOU but I looked up a really cute cafe’!” She explained.

Autumn wasn’t really listening, merly humming. The two walked on the sidewalk, finally out of the compelx area in the full city of Valentino. She noticed people pausing what they were doing to get a good look at her.

Her sibling must have noticed her posture change, as they cocked an eyebrow.

“Does your presnce really radiate that many looks??” They questioned.

The ginger simply grumbled and scowled. She absoutetly despised it, she hated it so much. Why did everyone have so much want and lust towards her?

She would never wish this fate on anyone else, this was exactly why she burdened it. She would weigh herself down if it ment keeping Summer and every other person safe. No matter how many times she died.

Then again, she was currently restarting from a death. It would only be soon enough till some creep made his disgusting move.

“Sooo..I’m assuming no boyfriend or girlfriend?” Her sister asked, keeping pace with her and leaning to the side.

The emerlad eyed girl didn’t have to think about it. She barely had any romantic attraction anymore. Anyone who she had ever dated turned out to become obessed with her and wanted to take her.

She blew out a puff of air and shook her head.

“No..nothing like that.” She answered.

The ladder simply hummed before perking up when a cafe’ came into view. A rather large one at that, Autumn also looked up.

“Ah, here it is!~” She sang, walking faster and opening the door.

The other grunted and shuffled inside, the other female following. There was actually a good amount of people looking at them when they entered.

“Fucking annoying..” They scoffed.

Summer didn’t even look at the people and kept a naive smile on their face. They wished they could keep that naive nature for themself. They were jealous.

They were cut off by someone brushing past the said older sibling and towards them. It was a male, of course it was.

“Hey, sweetness. Aren’t you a cute LITTLE thing?” He cooed towards them.

That intense revenge and hatered towards people like this Autumn had built up crawled into their being again. Maybe they were a sociopath, maybe they didn’t like any people..

But these..PEOPLE..were the most disgusting.

“Not intrested.” She simply replied.

The man seemed to have a reaction towards this, his eyes narrowing. He had short, red hair that looked oddly soft and dark blue eyes.

“Oh yeah? What, this your girlfriend?” He spat, glancing towards her older sister.

The taller burst out laughing while she made a disgusted face. This guy could go hang himself for all she cared, he was vile.

“Twin sister, thank you.” Summer flashed a closed eyed smile.

He grunted and flicked his eyes back towards her.

“Why aren’t you intrested?? Is it because I’m too much for you?!” He agressivly asked.

The long haired female flinched when his large hand grabbed her lower arm and raised it. She quickly scowled and tried tugging it away, he didn’t move. By now, a crowd had formed around them.

“Hey buddy! Get off of them!!” The other ginger dropped her smile and glared at him.

Autumn only narrowed their annoyed eyes further and..

“Get your fucking-!” They started while finally getting free before grabbing him and kicking him harshly in the side.

A round of cheers greeted this and she almost smiled. Then, she grabbed the man by the hair, seeing as he had doubled over.

“DISGUSTING perverted hands off of me. Honestly, that’s sad. Oh, and you have a wedding band on?? How..vile.” She spat before harshly letting go of his hair.

She backed away and glanced towards her sibling. They blinked a few times before making a face and a signal. Autumn made a confused expression before turning around.

Loads of people had their phones out and were recording. No one was helping the male on the ground though, everyone was fawning over her.

“That was so awesome!! What’s your name?!” A male with brown hair and brown eyes asked.

She was about to answer but the crowd of smiling and cheering people came closer. She honestly felt bad for the cafe’ owner.

“Uh-!”

“Your so pretty!! Do you have a partner?!”

‘WHATTTT?!!’ She thought in her head, recoiling.

All she did was show that disgusting pervert his place. And that wasn’t the first time she had done that. either. The girl had also been sweeped into crowds of ‘fans’ before.

Her older sibling quickly stepped in, smiling nervously at all the people.

“It’s nice to meet all of you, I’m sure! But we must be off!~” They waved before tugging the shorter by the wrist.

They both zoomed out the door, leaving everyone dissapointed. The man, still on the floor groaned.

“I..I could sue!! That..she ASSUALTED ME!!” He complained.

Silence covered the cafe’ before..

“Shut up.” Someone threw their empty, paper cup at them.

It hit the top of his head and he grunted. He looked around to who it was.

“Hey?!! What the-!?” He was cut off again.

“YEAH!! GET OUTTA’ HERE!!” More people threw stuff at him and he yelped.

“You were so hot back there! Maybe you’ll blow up, become a fugtive!” Summer panted

The other orange-nette rolled her eyes and looked behind her. They were both currently sitting on a fountains edge, water behind them filled with a statue and pennies.

“Please, I dobut it. Actually no-that might happen actually. Knowing my reputation with..’fame’.” She started but thought about it more.

“Pfft- anyways, maybe you should take me to your favorite spot, yeah??” The other snickered before tilting her head and smiling.

The former squinted at her, that was the thing about Summer. She always had a relaxed smile on her face, and was so nice to everyone. She hated that she pushed her own sister away.

“Am..am I mean to you..?” She hestiantely asked.

The brighter eyed girl blinked and rubbed her eyes. Sje simply scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Are you? Sometimes, yeah. But it’s not a bad thing.” They answered.

She looked at them before embrassingly turning away and mummbling something. She dug her fresh nails into the rim of the fountain and scowled.

They didn’t like this sudden feeling that dwelled inside of them. Fear? Softness? Whatever it was, they wanted it gone.

“Autumn? Hey!” They shook their sister by the shoulder.

The said person snapped out of it and looked shakily at the others face. They had a concerned expression on, only natural. Only natural, but still annoying.

“Or we can stay here if you’d like? There seems to be somethin’ bothering you.” They reassuringly smiled.

Her nails dug further into the fountain and she hissed. Was she bleeding by now? Probably.

“Wha-Autumn?! Come back please!” Huh?

The female hadn’t even relized she had gotten up and had started walking away. She tried to pause her movements, but it was like she was being dragged to go somewhere.

Her older sibling had gotten up and this cued the others body to start running. Yes, she had lost control of her bodily funcontions once or twice, dropping a plate when her hand went numb, or something else.

But never..THIS..

“Autumn!!” They faintly heard their sibling call after them but they turned back towards and just sighed.

Maybe they were trying to burn off this annoying feeling that had rised in their being. It was that annoying fury and anger towards everyone and everything.

They halted at a crossroad-slightly winded. Some people raised an eyebrow and they only glared at them. They adjusted their posture and glanced towards the button.

“God..” Autumn glanced behind her into the walking crowds but coudn’t spot Summer.

The light turned green and everyone moved along, including her. She only eye-twitched and ran a hand through her hair.

She followed along with the crowd, still checking her phone here and there. It lit up multiple times with the call singal from her sister. She simply ignored it though.

The ginger quickly found another cafe’, one she had been to multiple times. She didn’t order anything though, she simply sat down and laid her head on the table.

People were probably looking at her strangley, she cracked open and eye and just say a couple people peeking glances at her. She lazily made a two finger wave before slumping over again.

“Autumn??” A blonde haired girl leered over the orange-nette.

The person, who was zoning out with their cheek in their head perked up. They glanced towards her, before humming.

“Hey, Nari! What’s up?” They closed eyed smiled.

The other seemed to be pleased with the attention but looked away. She glanced towards the door before back towards them.

“Your..boyfriends..here.” She answered.

The former perked up, like sat up straight and smiled wider. Micheal, her boyfriend was so nice, not to mention cute! Ah, she could feel herself getting flustered.

“Thanks Nari! I can always count on youuu..~” She grinned and kissed her friends cheek before skipping off towards her boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Nari Jeong placed a hand on her cheek, feeling weak. God, only if they knew the hold they had on some people. She watched as they smiled and leaned towards their boyfriend, also kissing his cheek.

Ah…her cheek now felt colder.

“You’ having a good day so far, baby? You seem more happy then usual.” The taller of the duo grinned down at them.

“Yep, now it’s even better because your here! I love you..” They cheered before kissing him.

Micheal wasn’t easy, he didn’t always kiss back. He didn’t always call her nicknames, or tease but it was okay. It was okay because they were still together.

He grunted and gently kissed back before easing her down. She still had that wide smile on her face, and he closed his eyes.

“Your so cute darling.” He breathed out.

It was true, everyone in the school adimired her. From her near ginger hair, that was slightly tied back by the white hairband on her head. Or her cute freckles around her face.

The girls scoffed and her cheeks turned a light pink. So cute.

So cute but too easy..

“Ugh, stop! Could you be anymore cheesy?” She sarcastically asked.

The brown haired male only snickered before raising an eyebrow.

“Probably. But you like it, don’t you??” He inquired back.

She simply grumbled something before jolting when the bell rang. Micheal leaned back slightly, grin still on his face.

“Better get to class, slacker!” She teased before being caught off guard when he connected their lips again.

They closed one, green eyed on reflex before softening and kissing back. It was always nice when he decided to shut them up.

However, quickly after he snickered again and pulled away. They cracked their eyes open and huffed. He quickly picked his bag off of the ground and ruffled their locks of hair.

“See you later, Aut’!~” He cooed before walking away.

They groaned, slumping over again. Only to tense when multiple people ran towards them.

“AAAAH-Your so lucky Autumn!!” A girl with pink hair and brown eyes sighed.

The emerlad eyed girl only raised an eyebrow with a now more tense smile on her face.

“You think so??” She questioned.

Another person, a girl with white hair and green eyes spoke up.

“Uh, yeah!! Micheal is so dreamy, not to mention you!” She gawked.

Autumn could only laugh nervously and play with a strand of hair. There were other popular couples though, right??

“Autumn! And the rest of you, get to your classes please!” Someone broke the crowd up.

She glanced towards them, it was Mars. The rest of the crowd yelped in slight fear before scampering off. She smiled geinuley at the navy haired girl.

“Thanks, Mars! They were sort of..” She trailed off.

“Holding you?? Yeah, I noticed. You should be more honest with your..fans?” She sarcastically answered.

The orange-nette only sweat-dropped before nodding. She entered the classroom along with Mars and prepared for another easy-going day.

The female gasped slightly as she awoke, still in the cafe’. No one was near her, but some people spared a longer glance of confusion at the loud noise.

She muttered something before standing up and rolling her shoulder. She also cracked her hands and strecthed them out before trying to walk out the door.

She was stopped though, by a black haired man. He had fluffy, yet frizzy looking hair with alot of pirecings. He also had black eyes and a grin on his face.

“Hey, I think I know you. Autumn Candell, right?” He asked.

She was immeditally on guard about this, she hadn’t told anyone her name..her throat seized slightly. Oh god, was she going to be able to answer?

“I..I..” She hoarsely said.

Fuck that, her throat closed tighter and she knew she wouldn’t be able to speak. The shorter of the duo wondered how she would be able to communicate.

“Hey, are you alright? Oh! I’m so sorry! Your probably wondering how I know your name?” He relized.

She blinked a few times, was this guy insanely smart or something? Hell, maybe even a mind reader.

They nodded and he placed a relaxed grin on his face.

“We went to the same highschool. I’ve actually been looking for you..” He answered.

‘Oh.’ They thought. ‘That last sentence isn’t creepy, AT ALLLLL..’

“…” They looked around for something before sighing and opening their phone.

They typed something on it and practically shoved it in the male’s face, making him back up.

‘looking for me??’ It asked.

He beamed and nodded, unsettingly. The long haired girl lowered the phone some to get a better look at him.

“I’m so happy to see you again! You probably don’t remeber me, so my name is Michealis Garcia.” He introduced.

She didn’t think about it much, well, her first reaction was to type something in jest.

‘a bit long-winded, wouldn’t you say?’ it sarcastically read.

She also squinted her green eyes at him, Michealis Garcia? Wasn’t that the leader of the football team? Ugh.

He laughed before leaning towards her. She visibly grimanced.

“Ah, have you became even more funny?” He grinned.

She grimnaced more and finally took a good few steps back. She pinched the bridge of her nose for a second before typing something else.

‘i would hope so? anyways, see you.’ she quickly flashed before practically zooming out of the cafe’.

The black haired boy frowned as his eyes followed her until he lost her. How annoying. He narrowed his eyes before joting when someone nudged from behind him.

“Excuse me? Your blocking the door.” They bluntly said.

Michealis just moved aside and watched as they nudged the door open with their elbow. This was due to them carrying a large box with a smaller box on top.

The door closed again and he sighed deeply before walking out of the store aswell. Hopefully Autumn hadn’t wandered too far.

Speaking of, the said person was weaving through the crowds again. Maybe they should just call Summer while they were at it. What time was it again??

They glanced down quickly as the merly clicked the on button and saw the time, 2:00 PM. So as much for hanging out right? Oh well, they were going to be in the city for a couple months.

Maybe the younger should have felt worse, but she really didn’t feel anything. She just kept walking before finally sitting down at a open bar place.

They had bar stools, on the open side-walk and the open bar also faced outwards. It wasn’t crammed, like there was just a random bar jammed into the crowd. It was off to the side like all the other shops.

“What can I get for you?” The bartender asked.

The orange-nette simply cleared her throat and leandd forward. Hopefully her voice was back by now.

“Uh..do..do you sell uhm..like white wine by the bottle.? Along with wiskey?” She asked.

Yeah, the girl liked to down some hard whiskey and wine. And even better was mixing them, which was probably bad for her gut.

“Whiskey and wine bottles?? I can do that, but first I need to see an ID, of course.”

Autumn was really jumpy all of the sudden and flinched slightly. The worker seemed slightly concerned, furrowing their eyebrows. She quickly shaked her head though and found her ID.

It was the only real thing, that well, provded she was real. That’s why she was sometimes scared while she was stabbing a guys vocal chords out, what if she got caught?? No dobut the court of law would look for her legal documents.

“Alright, here you go.” The bartender handed them back ther card and they shoved it in their bag.

They shuffled and flinched immensly when someone slid into the seat next to them.

‘HOLY SHIT’ they yelled in their mind, ‘CAN I NOT GET A FUCKING BREAK?!’

They spared a glance towards the person next to them, only see..

“YOU?!!” They blurted out.

The man laughed, Michealis. His demenor didn’t seem to change, however it was kind of creepy he kinda’ followed them here.

“Yeah, me! You surprised?” He laughed out.

The former made a face and he snickered slightly. Could the bartender be a little quicker?!

“Soooo..did I wear you down so much that you needed a drink??” He questioned.

She slumped over the counter slightly, arms crossed on it. An exhausted expression of annoyment rested on her face.

“Yep. So, go away now.” Drop the plesentries, creep.

Michealis seemed to be taken aback by this, blinking a few times. Before the same smile, but smaller rested on his face. However, his eyes noticeably shrank and dialated.

“Oh, sorry! Did that bother you?” She lazily glanced at him before picking up the two bottles of acohol and stepping down from the seat.

Before the bartender could even say anything about pay, she formed into the crowd. The black eyed male quickly followed after though and somehow fitted to walk beside her.

“Why are you being so rude to a previous friend? Didn’t your par-!” He rather agressivly asked.

They chuckled under their breath, typical. Pull out the parent excuse of manners and be an asshole.

“My parent’s were acholics, and not good people.” She smiled up at him before glancing towards the bottles.

Autumn had a hunch of what was going to come out of his mouth. And they weren’t responsible for what came of it, if he had the guts to say it.

“So..like you??”

“…” There it was.

The girl somehow manged go grab him and swiftly push him into a alleyway. A few people seemed to notice, but they just glanced at the acholoic drinks in their hands before losing intrest.

“Wh-hey!! Awfully fucking handsy!” He grunted.

The shorter stayed silent, swaying before swiftly digging their thumb under one of the corks of the drinks and opening it. They took a pretty good swig before sighing.

“You know, I usually don’t do this sort of thing. Only to people I need revenge on or I knew hurt me. And the-the funny thing is-I don’t even remeber you-AT ALL!!” They stummbled over their words, laughing slightly.

Michealis took a few steps back, glancing behind him every now and then. The long haired girl sighed again and came closer.

“God, you could’ve been such a nobody if you just kept your damn mouth shut. But no, you decided to be gross and come up and talk to me.” She spat.

The black-nette switched over to have fear in his eyes. Was she seriously demented?! Was she actually going to hurt him?!

Oh no, she wasn’t going to hurt him.

She was going to make him suffer.

In all honesty, her current thoughts were all jumbled up. Flashbacks and images from her past clouded her vision and didn’t help with the emotions she felt.

“Please! I’..I’m sorry..!” He aplogized.

And it clicked.

Now she knew exactly why this Michealis guy was all over her. He’s the one who found her body once it hit the ground at school. And yet he didn’t get someone to help, he just stared at it for probably twenty minutes before walking away.

“Your kidding me..” She whispered.

Why didn’t he help her?! Prehaps he could’ve broken the cycle right then and there! Then they wouldn’t have to fucking die over and over again.

“Ha..Ahaha!.. I know exactly who you are now.” She lightly laughed.

She came even closer, now the taller wasn’t able to move any further back. Her right eye darted all around his face before the other remained steady. Pretty creepy.

“Your the guy who was too much of a coward to report a body. Your the guy who practically was a eye-witness but didn’t say anything.” They hissed.

The ladder’s eyes widened as his ‘secret’ was revealed. Honestly, just how despreate was he?? It was really gross.

“Now I can’t feel bad about getting rid of you.” They mummbled aswell.

They tilted the white wine bottle and chugged it back quickly before doing the same with the whiskey. A probably painful display for most people, but it placed a wobbly grin on their face.

“Please..I’m so sorry Candell..” He tried one more time.

Her smile immeditally fell and she slammed the white wine glass into the wall beside her. This made a shattering sound and it became jagged.

The pine eyed female leaned over him, one hand messing with the weapon. An distant look was painted on her face as she spoke:

“Pray to some other god then.”

And with that, she brought the glass down on him. He screamed violently, but knowing the people of Valentino City, they wouldn’t even spare a glance. Blood quickly standed everything, slightly coating her face aswell.

She yanked the bottle that she had inlodged in his stomach out. Then, she grabbed him quickly by the head and twisted it slightly so she could stab the glass in his throat.

He screamed again but it was quickly silenced with noises of him choking on his own blood. The ginger watched as he reached towards her but went slack.

After a few moments, Autumn glanced down towards the weapon in her hand, her eye twitching.

“I seriously just wasted a good bottle of wine on you?! Talk about annoying..” She hissed, tossing the bottle back towards his slumped over body.

Blood was everywhere, on her face and hair. And espically on her clothes that now had spots just completly red.

They glanced down at Michealis’s body one more time before swiftly pinching the bridge of their nose. Whatever, they would just walk in the alleyways so that people didn’t get concerned.

They also glanced down towards their clothes and scowled.

“I fucking liked this shirt too..prick.” She complained before walking away.

“I’m very sorry, but I haven’t seen anyone who looks like that..” A woman answered.

Summer sighed and lowered her phone. She had tried calling her younger sister over a dozen times now only to not get an answer. She eventually started asking people on the streets.

“No..No it’s okay..I’ll find her eventually..” She reassured the woman, smiling softly before walking back into the crowd.

Of course, Summer wasn’t stupid. She didn’t go up to drug dealers, sex workers, or other people randomly asking where the fuck her sister was.

She instead, gravatated towards the friendly looking people. They were rare, but it was still surprising the amount of people she had asked.

Maybe it was the photo, the girl clicked open her phone and looked at it. It had Autumn with a surprised expression as they looked up from what they were doing.

It was still visible how many scars they had. The former scoffed and turned off the phone.

Jazzy music played throughout the streets as the sun lowered. It was now 4:00 PM and of course it was getting dark.

They faintly remebered the person they were looking for to stay inside at night. Of course, this peeked their curiousty, but they weren’t trying to be another victim.

A victim of what exactly?? Well, of the series of brutual murders that were going around. Men and woman turned up dead left and right, some had their throats cut out. Some had seviere bruising, just what exactly was this person doing to them?!

The person had to be serverly messed up, the victims bodies proof of that. It was like the bodies were the person taking out their mental state out on them.

The orange-nette grimnaced at the thought of becoming a victim. Yet, that was probably on everyone’s minds. This person was clearly a danger.

They blinked a few times, why were they so focused on this?? Autumn was more imporant!!

The older sister groaned softly and passed a crosswalk. She also flinched when someone slightly came up behind her.

“Summer??” A voice called.

It was medium toned, so she couldn’t tell who it belonged to. She turned slightly and saw bright blue eyes and soft blonde hair around a pretty face.

“Nari?!” She walked slightly backwards.

Nari was also aquaintated with the older sibling aswell. They had met once or twice, the older noticing how she was attracted to her sister.

“Ahaha..it’s nice..to uhm..see someone from highschool..” She softly laughed.

The same heighted girl raised an eyebrow at this. The nari she knew was much more..upbeat! Not extremely, but enough to be considered atleast mellow.

But the one walking behind her had eyebags, a thinner face, along with a sort of exhausted and almost wretched vibe coming off of her.

“Are you okay?” It slipped out.

The blonde blinked a few more times in surprise before smiling nervously.

“Oh..uhm..yeah just uh..tired..say!-do you want to eat somewhere? Or atleast talk??” She looked away before snapping back to them.

The green eyed female placed a lop-sided smile on her face and nodded.

The duo pulled to the side and quickly entered a shop. It wasn’t a cafe’, it just looked like a store where you ordered food.

“Do you want anything? I’ll pay.” Nari questioned.

The green eyed girl glanced at the menu and squinted. She leaned forwards before turning towards the other.

“I’ll take a veggie’ sandwhich with choclate milk.” She bluntly answered.

It looked like the other tried not to laugh as she gave her order.

“Veggie’ sandwhich with choclate milk, really??” She replied.

The ginger only blew out a puff of air and shook her head.

“Please..that’s why your somewhat shorter then me.” She smirked bitterly and leaned a little closer.

The blue eyed girl raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah? I think we level out though..” She simply said before turning away.

Summer smiled lightly, the other girl seemed more relaxed now. She could faintly hear her ordering some food before flashing a grin at Summer and making a ‘c’mere’ motion.

“Here.” She softly said before siting down.

They blinked, Nari always had a sort of soft beauty about her.

“Woah..” The other let out, getting a better look at her face.

As they said before, she defentily did look older. But she still had the cute freckles, and almost clear skin.

“What?” The said girl spoke up, a knowing grin on her face.

That was another thing about her, her eyes always scrunched up in joy from her smile. Sometimes her nose also scrunched up.

“You just look..simaliar to how you did back then..” They said slowly.

The blue eyed girl sitting across from them laughed. Her eyes closed and she held her cheek.

“Ah, charming, however..no matter how long it’s been, my heart still belongs to your sister.”

The older blinked a few times, eyes wide. Seriously?! Why was everyone chasing after their sister today?!

“Seriously?! You still want to date her?!” They gawked.

Nari was about to answer but an order name was called as she got up. She quickly walked over and picked a tray up before smoothly walking back and sorting the food.

“What can I say? Autumn has posion. Sure, she might be different now. But she still has that..aura about her..” She described.

The ginger only grunted before stabbing a straw into her choclate milk.

“Well, I have no idea where she is..” She mummbled.

The ladder had her sandwhich raised to her mouth before pausing. She lowered it slightly as she glowered at her.

“What do you mean?? You didn’t move here?” She questioned.

“Oh no, I’m just here visting Autumn. I’m also living here for a couple months.” She shurgged and took another chug of her milk.

Nari Jeong didn’t say anything for a while before completly setting her sanwhich down and staring at her. One hand held her cheek while the other tapped its fingers in a rythmatically way.

“Living here while the murders are at a peak..that’s sort of risky, don’t you think??” She asked.

Summer couldn’t help but agree. Yeah, it was risky. When Summer gave the driver where she wanted to be dropped off at when she first arived, he made a face.

“Yeah, but you live here too.” She answered before taking a bite out of her own sandwhich.

The long haired blonde leaned forward, fingers digging into her cheek. The mood switched suddenly, it seemed like she was on edge.

“Mm..hey, is something wrong?? You seem..tense..” The former spoke through their mouthful, kind of gross.

Nari sighed deeply and took a long look at the others face. What would they say if she spoke about what she thought was right? She wasn’t a dectective or anything..

But these crimes were unatural, the attacker had to have some mental stuff going on. There’s no way the female across from her did it. Even if she was mentally ill.

This person clearly was driven by motovation, by anger. By greif, by whatever THE FUCK. All of these people..were victims..

And they all went to the same highschool she did.

“Nari?” Summer brought her back.

She couldn’t take it anymore, she had to say it. They could get mad, hell, maybe even give her some crude words.

“I think your sibling is the one causing this murders.”

“…….” As soon as she said that, everything went pitch silent.

It was like both of them stopped breathing, their sandwhich held in their hands froze. Their expression blank as they took this in.

Before..

“What.” They blurted.

It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. A demand for the yellow-nette to explain just exactly what the fuck was going on with her head.

“Yes, I think Autumn Candell is the murder. Surely you’ve noticed it by now, haven’t you?” She contuined, gulping.

The other candell sibling only stared at her with bland eyes. It was like they were going through the possbilties in their head.

“That they’re all people we went to school with??” She finished.

Summer sat the sandwhich down and came dangerously close to Jeong’s face. This made the blue-eyed girl sweat-drop and lean back.

“Look, I don’t know what your fucking problem is. But if this is another fucking joke of an excuse for me to tell somebody more about my sister, I’ll add you to the body count. Stay the fuck away from me and Autumn.” She vemonsly whispered.

As soon as Summer stood up and harshly turned away, the other female grabbed her wrist.

“Summer-Summer!! Please just-just wait a second! The killer might be suffering from some mental illness, like PTSD! It could be anything really, aren’t you concerned?!” She tried to stop her.

The bright eyed girl whipped around and practically tore her arm away from the other. She scowled at glared down at her.

“So your saying Autumn has PTSD, now? I wouldn’t dobut that. But like I said, I want you out of here.” She hissed.

“So Autumn does have PTSD??” The younger whispered.

Green eyes only seemed to fuel with more disgust and irratation. She yelped when hands curled around her shirt, dragging her closer.

“So what if they do?! You gonna’ add that to your insanity theory, huh?? God, your a fucking physco’.” They said before roughly letting go and storming out the door.

Once she got her barrings again, she reached a hand out but she was too late, she always was. She glanced towards the shop owner but they were busy and had headphones on.

“Damnit!” She scowled.

“Nari??” Autumn called out.

The blonde flinched slightly and turned towards her. It hurt looking at her, she was so pretty. You could practically put a halo around her and it would fit right in.

“Ah, yeah what’s up?” She turned her attention to the shorter.

They smiled at her and handed over a box. It was neatly wrapped and had a blue ribbon ontop. She looked up and raised an eyebrow as they nervously laughed.

“Happy brithday..?” They said, a small tint of pink covering their face.

Ah that’s right, it was her brithday, wasn’t it? She grinned and looked at the cat wrapping paper.

“Thanks, I apperiacte it.” She spoke.

They grinned back and leaned forward a little. Nari Jeong couldn’t help but notice the ring on their left hand. A pretty emerlad green.

“Well?! Open it!~” They nudged.

The slightly taller girl only smiled wider and opened it. She blinked a few times before slightly squealing.

“Ah!! No way!! A smiths album?!” She freaked out.

Autumn smiled with her eyes closed and backed away a little. She was happy the other liked her gift. Even if Summer had told her to go with a Cars album.

“You’ like it?” She rytorchically asked.

The yellow-nette held the vinyl album closer to her and innocently smiled.

“I love it so much! How did you know I loved them?” She beamed before leaning forward.

The green eyed girl blinked a few times before tensing and blushing. Her eyes darted anywhere but towards Nari.

“Uhm..lucky guesssss’..???” She drawled out.

“Summer told you, didn’t she.” She deadpanned.

Autumn laughed even more nervously and blushed harder.

“Sorry! You just don’t talk about yourself much!” She apologized.

The other simply shook her head before sitting the vinyl down on her desk. The shorter nervously glanced at it, was she mad??

“Come here..~” She mummbled before grabbing her and leaning down to kiss her cheek.

She pulled away swiftly, grabbing her things and leaving the Candell sibling by herself.

“Ugh..” She groaned, grabbing her own cheeks, annoyed.

Autumn was silent as she sat ontop of the roof. She blacked out again and even more blood was on her clothes. She assumed she was on the rooftop of the old school.

Funnily enough, this was the same place that started everything. All her murders and deaths. She blandly looked down.

Jesus, to think they fell from this height. In the distance you could see lights and buildings blink and wink at you. She scowled and ran a hand through her hair.

Was it just her was she feeling light headed all of the sudden?? The bloody killer decided to get up anyways and swayed before panicking.

“Stop it.” She leaned away from the edge but it felt like she was slipping.

Her breath picked up and her eyes zoned in on the ground. Jesus, was the ground suposed to be looking that close?!

“Stop it stop it..” She breathed.

She scowled and pushed herself to sit down on a bench. Why was it like her body was pushing herself to the ground. Why was it like the rooftop wasn’t straight?!

“Fucking..” She trailed off, leaning her head back.

They flinched when the heard footsteps on the roof. Who exactly?? School was out and no one should be up here.

“There you are..” A raspy voice said, sounding like they had cried.

The ginger immeditally tensed and whipped around. Their eyes searched around frantically before landing on a person. They had blonde hair and big eye bags.

“What are you doing?” The voice asked again.

Autumn swiftly stood up, body still facing the person.

“Better question, what are YOU doing?” She repeated, bitterly.

They laughed a little more before sighing, they came a little closer. The orange-nette squinted before pausing.

“Nari Jeong?!” She blurted out.

The long haired other female smiled in relief. Yeah, it was her. She didn’t know exactly how she ended up here. Maybe to reminse.

“I didn’t actually think you’d be here..consdering and all..” She trailed off.

Autumn scoffed and backed away a little more. The ocean eyed other looked a little worried.

“I’m not scared.” She spat.

And true, she didn’t look scared. No, she looked angry. She looked frustrated and annoyed.

“Just..WHY are YOU here?!..” They tried to yell but it cancelled out at some points.

Nari Jeong frowned and looked away. She should’ve knew better, that they were angry. They were frustrated and tired.

“I know you killed them, Autumn..” She mummbled.

A gust of wind blew by, blocking her from seeing their face as their hair blew infront of it. The blood on their clothes soaked and coated the air with it.

“Can you fucking blame me?” She blandly questioned.

Yes, yes she could.

“Your actually killing-!!” She was cut off by them angrily grabbing their hair.

“SHUT UP!!’ SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP!! LOOK, WHATEVER YOUR TRYING-HA- TO FUCKING DO HERE- ITS NOT WORKING!! YOUR JUST AN ANNOYING CUNT.” She glared.

The taller was geniuley taken aback by the hate in her eyes. It was pure, veomn, hatered. She had enough.

“You’ve always been fucking annoying. What, you about’..you about’ to fucking confess your love for me or something?! Damn right! Because everyyyyyyoneee’ JUST FUCKING LOVES AUTUMN FUCKING CANDELL!! HAHAHAHA-?!” She contuined.

“Instead of being a constant fucking pain in my ass, you could’ve helped! But no-your here! And annoying as fucking EVER.” She hissed, grabbing the ladder by their collar.

The girl stared at her with shaky eyes. Jeong leaned away and paled slightly.

“Stupid.” She simply whispered before pushing her back upright.

The blue eyed girl blinked before furrowing her eye brows. There was something seriously wrong with her..maybe it’s because she didn’t get proper help.

“Autumn, somethings wrong-!” She tried to start.

“What, with me?? Well, no fucking shit Nari! You wouldn’t lose your mind after dying five times over?!” She sarcastically asked.

The female frowned deeper and took a few steps back on her own.

“I..I just want to help..”

“Right. And what good do you think HELP of all things will do?” They quickly replied.

In all honesty, she didn’t know. She was just saying stuff at this point, did they know it?? Probably.

“I…don’t you remeber..?” She stummbled over her words again.

Green pine eyes shifted back and forth in confusion.

“Remeber what?”

“Us! Us, Autumn!” Her voice cracked as she quickly caught them off guard by grabbing their face.

“Hey, Nari!” The ginger grabbed the other girl’s attention swiftly.

“Hm?” She hummed.

She shoved something into her hands, she was tempted to think it was another gift. But when she looked down, it was a coat.

“I’m going up to the roof to meet Micheal, he wanted to talk about something..can you hold this for me??” She explained before leaning forward.

She didn’t seem the way her friends hands twitched or her hands. Nari could only flash a closed eyed smile.

“Sure. I’ll wait for you.” She simply said.

The former breathed out before grinning. She quickly waved bye before heading up to the roof.

When Autumn opened up the gate to the roof, they were greated by their boyfriend in all his glory.

“Ah, there you are my love.” He noticed.

She placed a giddy grin on her face and walked over. They quickly tucked a piece of hair behind their ear before leaning closer, hands behind their back.

“Hey, Micheal! What do you want to talk about-!” They started.

“Nari Jeong.” He cut them off.

The shorter blinked a few times, posture going a little stiff. The dark haired male raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?? You don’t think I’m THAT dense, do you?” He questioned.

She glanced away for a second before furrowong her eyebrows.

“Micheal, what are you talking about? Nari and me are just friends.” She firmly asked.

He only rolled his eyes, scoffing. He leaned back and stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking away aswell.

“She doesn’t seem to think that.” He scoffed.

The younger quickly scowled and came a little closer. Micheal immedtially backed up some, whistling.

“You think I’m cheating?” She whispered.

The taller didn’t answer, eyes darting away. She scoffed out a laugh before running a hand softly through her hair.

“I’m not cheating, Micheal.” She hissed.

The dark eyed male seemed to have enough as he grabbed her shoulders.

“Just shut up, Autumn.” He groaned before kissing her.

The gesture was unwelcome, as they quickly moved back. They narrowed their green eyes at him.

“‘Just shut up, Autumn’?? Who do you think you are?” She angirly questioned.

“Uhm?? Your boyfriend?” He laughed.

She scowled again and took off her headband, undoing her hair. Her emerlad eyes flicked back and forth.

“Your not my boyfriend. Your not acting like the man I fell in love with.” She bit.

The brown eyed male blinked before bursting out in laughter. The ginger took a quick glance behind her before glancing back towards him.

“Uhm!- News flash, darling, men change. I’m not that sweetheart, sappy and somewhat flirty guy you fell in love with!” He sarcastically said before reaching towards her again.

She swiftly moved back again and frowned.

“What’s wrong with you?! Stay away from me!” Her voice cracked.

Why did this hurt? Why did it feel like her heart was breaking in two?? Why was he acting so lustful?!

“Please..stop..” She whispered.

He didn’t, he only came closer. Now both of them were practically on the edge of the roof. There was no gate protecting from one of them falling off.

“Autumn, I love you..you know that, right..?” Micheal asked.

The long haired girl glanced down before quickly back up.

“Do you?” She mummbled.

“Yes.” Air, whipping through her hair.

She was falling, why? She could feel her body lose control as her eyes stared up at the roof she had just been on.

She blinked before screaming. It was too late, her body had flipped around and she was facing the ground now. The ground had never seemed to threatening.

The ground was something to ground you, as it were. But when you crashed into it, it was scary.

They could faintly hear commotion going on, people stopping in place and then..

*CRUNCH, SPLAT*

It was sickening to hear, even to Autumn’s now fading hearing.

“AAAAAAAA-!!!” Multiple people screamed, some running away, some standing shocked.

Their body twitched in reflex, but they closed their eyes. Funnily enough, they didn’t really feel any pain. Rather more then confusion.

Didn’t..didn’t Micheal say..he loved them..?

Ha, shit..their brain was failing them now..

Damnit…

Well, whatever….people would probably mark..mark it as a..suicide or..or something..

And all went silent.

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!!” The now present time girl clutched her hair again.

Nari Jeong took this chance to quickly move her away from the edge. She flinched though when they practically fell over themself, on the ground.

“Get away..get away from me..” She whispered, laying her hands flat on the ground, hair blocking her vison.

“Autumn..hey..” The lighter eyed girl cooed.

The shorter flinched away and dug her nails harshly into the flooring.

“Stop it..” She repeated.

There was nothing Nari Jeong could say or do to bring them back. They were stuck in their own memories. Maybe for a couple minutes, maybe forever.

The blonde bit her lip and looked away. What was she suposed to do?? She could easily end all of this, turn them into the police.

But..

She glanced back towards the Candell sibling and bit harder.

Fucking hell..

She quickly took something out of her bag and wrote something down on a small piece of paper. She carefully slid it underneath the other female.

Through her haze of mind, and well, tears, Autumn’s breath hitched. A pale hand right out of the corner of her eye slid her something. It fell right under her chest and she looked down.

‘Hi, my name’s Nari Jeong! What’s your name?’

—

END

(WOOO EAT MY ASSSS)

[cheegu3]

hello! i dont know if you still write for enhypen but if ever you still do, can you do a enhypen yandere reaction finding out their s/o is an assassin or caught them red handed killing someone?

thank you so much and have a nice day ahead🥰

hey thank you, I do still write for enhypen :), and ty for requesting! I hope u have a nice day too ❤️❤️

a/n: jay’s scenario has female pronouns but all others should be g/n <3

tw / trigger warning: yandere themes, violence, murder, blood, mentions of knives, swearing

~ ENHYPEN - reaction to reader being an assassin ~

Jungwon

He was extremely surprised - he thought you were the sweetest person ever, that’s why he had picked you, because you looked so nice and naive and would be perfect to manipulate.

Catching you in the act would give him a big shock. He was in his office when one of his guards came in with a face almost as white as the wall behind him.

‘‘ Sir, I think you need to see this...I-I just saw y/n killing someone ‘‘ he said lowly and put his head down.

Jungwon couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out. His y/n? He had to see it for himself.

Immediately he got up and had a slight smirk on his lips all the way over to the room where you supposedly were. 

His guard pushed the door open and sure enough, there you were. Slumped against the wall, covered in blood with a knife laying close by and an unresponsive man laying at the center of the room.

As soon as he came into your view you met eyes but you didn’t look scared, this also surprised him. You didn’t even look ashamed, it looked as if it was natural to you.

He chuckled at the sight and upon the realisation that he might’ve been wrong about you, he’d have to up his security measure now for sure.

Heeseung

It would take some time to recover from seeing that gruesome sight. He also now had to deal with the fact that you hadn’t been careful enough - he rushed to the scene as quick as he could when he got the phone call from the police that his girlfriend, his y/n had been caught at the crime scene of a murder.

He almost felt disgusted as he looked straight at you. You had blood smeared across your cheek and your eyes were completely dead while the police put you in handcuffs. He felt like he was gonna throw up when you noticed his presence, looked straight at him and grinned.

You weren’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be the psycho, not you. 

He needed some time away from you to compose his thoughts, could he trust you, was he afraid of you now? What would he do with you? If you thought that in the end, making him see you like that would make him go away - you’re delusional, he’s obsessed with you and when he’s come to his senses again he’ll punish you for ‘’ acting up ‘’. He will immediately lock you up so you can’t kill more people.

‘‘ If there’s someone you need dead, just tell me sweetie. I’ll fix it ‘‘

Jay

He would never suspect it and even when he caught you red-handed he thought it was just you acting up.

He had this made-up version of you in his mind so anything that strayed from that, he’d just shrug off. You weren’t an assassin, you weren’t a murderer you could barely take care of yourself - it just wasn’t logical.

Nevertheless he’d still be more cautious of you. You apparently weren’t as soft and easy to break as he had expected. But he would still let you do whatever you wanted to people as long as you didn’t get caught, would even help you at times and give you tips.

If you dare ever lay a finger on him though, you’d see hell like never before. Seeing you killing people actually made him aroused but, he still wanted you to know who was in charge. You couldn’t  really do anything you wanted, especially when it came to him and the people around him.

If you accidentally killed a person he’d done business with or even used to be close to, you’d get severely punished to then be left alone for a long period of time.

‘‘ You killed him? Good girl. You make me proud, but don’t forget your place...’‘

Jake

You told him yourself, the guilt was eating you away. Any time you had been out for hours during the night you’d always come home to him having fallen asleep on the couch while trying to stay up waiting for you - it broke your heart.

When you told him he was surprisingly chill about it. This would be the time where his yandere side started to show more. 

‘‘ Me and you are the same y/n ‘‘ he smiled creepily while saying this.

He was no longer scared of showing you his darker side since you had one too, previously he had pretended to be this super sweet and innocent, all-around perfect boyfriend - he was relieved he could finally be himself.

If you wanted to, he’d help you clean up the crime scenes and afterwards he’d pamper you. This side of him didn’t put you at ease, you were a good person really and you wished you finally had found a boyfriend that was sweet. When you saw that he was really really creepy, you wanted to leave but it was too late since he’d never let you now, he thought you were the one.

‘‘ If you try to leave me I will have to kill you. You know I can’t let anyone else have you ‘‘

Sunghoon

If you thought he didn’t already know, you were stupid. He knew everything and was super observant. He could easily tell when you were gone for a bit longer than you had said you were and he could also easily tell when you were lying, there was no escaping him - words or physically. 

He followed his suspicions as soon as they arose and followed you. He stood there watching as you killed the guy you had been ordered to kill. He noticed how your hands shook and how tears ran down your cheeks - it made him smile to himself, he knew you weren’t as tough as you pretended to.

It would become a normal thing for him to follow you, watching from afar. It was almost like a free ticket to the theatre or the cinema and he enjoyed it to a weird amount.

Was he proud of you? He wasn’t quite sure. It had more to do with the fact that you seemed so unsure like you were forced to commit such horrendous and unforgivable things. Mostly though he was excited to use this against you, he got off on humiliating you and watching your confidence deteriorate as he tore you apart.

‘‘ Can’t even hurt someone. You’re so fucking pathetic you know? Useless, and a coward ‘‘

Sunoo

No matter how many people told him, he just couldn’t believe it until he’d see it with his own eyes. The thing is that he didn’t want to see it, he wanted to believe you were just as sweet as when he saw you for the first time. You were his sweetheart, if you did things like that he’d try to turn a blind eye to it.

Still though, even if there was a tiny chance that you were one he’d have to act. Mostly he felt really guilty. Had he made you like this? Had he been too harsh or too mean? Immediately he’d shower you with even more love, if that was even possible, he didn’t care if it was smothering and overwhelming. He felt he had to do this since he had no other choice?

‘‘ You’re going out again baby? ‘‘ your boyfriend pouted at you and tried to pat the spot next to him on the couch in an attempt to make you change your mind.

You smiled sadly at his action.

‘‘ Yeah, sorry. I have this...thing ‘‘

Sadness and rejection flashed through his eyes but you ignored it, it wasn’t like he was going to stop you anyway, he let you do whatever you wanted.

‘‘ Okay...I’ll wait for you ‘‘

Ni-ki

He was proud but there were also other emotions there like initial shock and worry over if you’d try to carefully make a plan hurting him so you could escape.

He would catch you in the act. Coming home from a late dance practice, you were working in the basement and didn’t hear him. You had foolishly expected him to be busy for a few more hours, maybe even all night and you had been more careless this time as you decided to kill your target inside the house after luring them there.

When he first noticed the basement door being slightly open and faint voices coming from it, anger started bubbling up. His first thought was that you were cheating on him and had taken this opportunity of him being out to bring someone over. 

Carefully he’d walk over to the door but when he had reached it he couldn’t give a fuck anymore, he actually wanted to intimidate you and give revenge so he kicked it open.

He was met with the sight of you slouched over a man and he growled, thinking you were kissing him. You jumped at the sound of him and backed away looking terrified. 

His brows furrowed in confusion and also relief, but then he broke into laughter. 

‘‘ I’m proud of you. I never expected you to actually be able to kill someone ‘‘

[daisiesonafield-blog]

Summary: B-

My Policeman is a movie set in both 1957 and the late 1990s, based on a novel first published ten years ago. But when one of your featured actors is the biggest pop star in the world in 2022, strange things happen to the reality-distortion field around a film. Policeman, which had its North American premiere last night in Toronto, is in almost every way the most classic kind of high-toned British period piece: a tea-kettle swoon steeped in stolen gazes, flocked wallpaper, and long, meaningful walks along windswept coastlines. But it is also the story of a love that, back then at least, dared not speak its name between a closeted young officer (Harry Styles), his naive bride-to-be (The Crown's Emma Corrin), and the man he actually has endless gymnastic sex with (David Dawson). 

The result, adapted by lauded London theater director Michael Grandage, is fevered, lovely to look at, and at times deeply silly, a plush romantic drama that somehow manages to be both explicit and decorous, like horny Merchant Ivory. Its title could have been Everybody Loves Harry: He's the film's ever-elusive object of desire, a dimpled dreamboat named Tom who first comes to Corrin's Marion, a schoolteacher-in-training, on a Brighton beach, the elder brother of her childhood friend and a long-simmering crush who finally deigns to turn his attention her way. [...]

[...] What the characters will do with this very British cycle of repression, release, and almost heroic self-denial is rendered in the script, by Ron Nyswaner (Philadelphia, The Painted Veil), in sometimes delicate but more often jarringly unsubtle ways. That's a hazard, maybe, of trying to adapt the internalized world of a novel for the screen: Subtext becomes bolded and underlined as characters rush to spell out their intentions or long-held secrets in ways that may serve the plot — or at least make for gorgeous, tragic metaphors — but rarely resemble real life.

While the casting of Everett and Roache seems as if it should have been swapped to more physically resemble their younger counterparts, and Corrin feels sidelined both as a character and an actress by design, the actors do a lot to bring nuance where it doesn't always exist. Dawson (All the Old Knives) is quietly affecting as a man so used to subterfuge and fear that he's become defiant in the face of it; he knows the rules of survival as a gay man in a midcentury England where his "lifestyle" is still a felony crime, and how to still find pleasure in the cracks in between.

Styles' style is more remote: His Tom often feels like a cipher, thoughtful and charming one moment and heedlessly cruel and manipulative the next. That also makes sense in a way; Tom is, after all, a stranger to himself. And Styles doesn't hold back in the sex scenes, which seem destined to live a long life outside the film on the internet and amongst his considerable fanbase. Otherwise Policeman, as emotionally earnest and elegantly made as it is, mostly just feels like a movie we've seen many times before: a pleasantly escapist two hours with pretty people in pretty clothes, madly sublimating their feelings until the final, luminous frame. Grade: B–

Entertainment Weekly review by Leah Greenblatt, not full review, read here.

[flysafepapi]

the sin factor 13/?

masterlist

Warnings: Referenced child abuse, general sense of self loathing, not much else that I’d need to tag.

Summary: It’s in the eyes, too, the same ambition and clawing desperation to be more, get more, hidden behind a carefully blank stare. He also knows that Duke has something Tommy never had although it’s more likely that it’s the other way around, because Tommy has lines that he won’t cross for reasons that are his own. Duke has no such reservations.

tagging: @zablife​​​​​​​ @the-makingsofgreatness​​​ @peakyrogers​​​​​​​ @hb-writes​​​​​​ @caelys​​​​ (let me know if you want to be added on or taken off)

“Stop staring at me.”

“Are we ever going to talk about it?”

Duke knows what Isiah means. It had been a mistake to change in front of him, to turn his back. He’s been so careful so far to never let them be seen, usually by turning the light off, or keeping the shirts on after they’ve been unbuttoned. He knew it was going to come up sooner or later. He just wishes it was later. 

“About what?”

“I never knew you had a tattoo.”

Tattoo is a poor word for the design on the back of his shoulder. It wasn’t much more than an ugly design seared into him, a stylised letter D surrounded by loops and swirls, darker than the rest of his skin from the coal dust that had been rubbed into the open wounds before they healed, and if he thought the pain from the red-hot metal was bad, it was nothing compared to the burn of the dust settling into the cuts. It’s designed to mark him as property. 

“What’s it meant to be?”

“Ownership.”

“What do you mean?”

Isiah is too observant for his own good, sometimes, and even in the dark he can tell Duke’s gone closed off again, pulling back and building those walls right back up to keep himself safe. He hates it when it happens, and normally he would’ve backed off and let the question go, but he needs to know. 

“Duke.”

“His name was Durham. Far worse a monster than I’ve ever been or will be. He was married, you see, but I’m guessing it was just for appearances, because from what I remember his tastes were for little boys. Not one of us was over the age of 14. He was a well-known part of the congregation at the church my mother liked to go to.”

He’s thankful that the lights are off, that the room is so dark that he can’t see a thing. If he was able to see the look on Isiah’s face while he talked, he never would’ve been able to say any of this. It’s tempting to stop and roll over, pretend to be asleep, when Isiah makes a noise in the back of his throat. Disgust, maybe, and the fact that he can’t be sure if it’s disgust for him or for the men that did that to him cuts like a knife. 

“Did he-“

“No. Not while she was alive, but looking back on it, I know the intent was there. It didn’t happen until later, a year or two after she died. I had just turned 12. Until then, I’d managed to survive by stealing what I could, but I hadn’t eaten in over a week. It was a gamble to try the church, but I was desperate, I was starving. I was naive to think there was ever any help for me there.”

Duke speaks like he’s reciting the life story of someone else, matter of fact and emotionless, but Isiah’s more attuned to him than anyone else ever has been. While he talks, Isiah can hear the tone underneath, and it’s young and hurt and so sad it breaks his heart. 

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“You can tell me.”

He does what he’s always done when things get too difficult and turns the question around, makes it into an attack.

“Why are you so interested? What do you want to hear? That everything was fine after I lost the only family I had, or thought I had?”

“That’s not-“

“Or do you want to hear what it was really like? That I would scream and no one ever came to rescue me? I had to do that myself. Do you want to hear about all the things they did to me? The knives and the belts, even a whip or two if they were feeling particularly cruel that day? Want to know all about how they’d turn sweet and consoling after they were done, acting like they didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident, don’t I know they’d never hurt me if I wasn’t so bad?”

The sudden light, from the little lamp on the table beside the bed, makes him roll over and close his eyes. He’s said too much, revealed things he never should’ve. 

“Just leave it alone.”

“Hey. I don’t care. Well, I care, of course I do. I want to find everyone who ever took advantage of you and make them pay for what they did. But it doesn’t change anything. You’re still-“

“Not good enough. I've got to go.” 

He slips out the door and disappears before Isiah can stop him.

~~~

“What are you doing here?”

“Not happy to see me? That almost hurts, dad.”

He can see the flinch that word elicits, and he might’ve laughed if it didn’t sting. Not for the first time, he wonders how things might’ve gone if all of this happened years ago. If he’d grown up with these people and not on the streets, being taking advantage of for being a starving kid, would that have changed anything? 

“You shouldn’t be here. I don’t-”

“Afraid you’re next on the list?”

“So you admit there’s a list.”

“There’s always a list. Who’s on yours?”

The ring Jeremiah had given him is still in pocket and he can feel it like it weighs as much as an anchor, burning hot like the brand that gave him the mark on the back of his shoulder. In this case, it’s a much more pleasant type of burn.

“Not going to tell me? I can understand that. I guess both of us have trouble letting people in. Such a shame they managed to get past our defences anyway, right? Leaves us weak. Yeah, I’ve heard all about your little spy, and what she did. I get it. Guess that’s just another thing we have in common.”

That makes his father flinch more than calling him ‘dad’ had. 

“I’m nothing like you.”

Duke ignores the chair in the small caravan and steps over to the small table with the pictures on the surface, tapping his fingers on the edge of the wood as he looks at them. 

“I’ve been told he was a good man, in his own way. I wish I could’ve met him.” Esme had told him, on the long ride here, about the man that was once her husband. At the time, he hadn’t responded much, but he remembered every word. “Everyone blames you for getting him killed, because they don’t understand that all the scheming in the world can’t save anyone if they won’t do anything to save themselves. He stayed behind, when you told him it was dangerous, didn’t he?”

“He did. That doesn’t make them blame me any less.”

“They’ll always blame us, it doesn’t matter whether you managed to save him or not. Don’t save him, they blame you for getting him killed. Save him, they’ll blame you for not trusting him enough to protect himself. Miss the death of your daughter by trying to break a curse, they’ll blame you for not being there. Stay with her while it happens, they’ll blame you for not doing everything you could to save her.”

“Don’t talk about her.”

“Burns, doesn’t it? Knowing you could give them the moon and they’d still paint you as the devil? Why are you still trying? It’s much more fun to give them what they want and become what they all believe you are.”

He’s heard Isiah talk about how similar their eyes are, and he can’t disagree when he turns around and looks at his father, who looks back at him with nothing on his face but the burning anger in his eyes. 

“Lizzie hasn’t been seen for over a week. Esme’s people said she didn’t even make it back?”

“Really? That’s not good. It’s a dangerous world out there, anything could’ve happened to them.”

“What did you do to them?”

“What makes you think I did anything?”

He doesn’t make it two steps before the click of the gun echoes through the small room.

“Don’t move. Stay where you are, I don’t want you close enough to slit my throat.”

“Oh, Tommy,” Duke says, sliding one hand into his pocket and feeling the familiar edges of the ring, turning it around in his fingers while he pretends not to notice the flicker of confusion using his father’s name creates, “If you think it’s going to go that quick for you when it’s your turn, you’re in for a rude and painful awakening.” He takes another step forward, closer to the makeshift bed in the corner where the other man sits. 

“I said don’t move. One more step, and you’ll be dead.”

“Don’t you know, dad? I’m already dead.” He takes another step.

[arashikitten]

Dark Danny Should’ve Come Back at Least Once

I think most of the Phandom can agree that The Ultimate Enemy was one of the best Danny Phantom episodes ever made, and for good reason. It was incredibly dark of a kid’s cartoon, especially one made by Bitch Hartman, and on top of that, it provided some very interesting lore and characters. We get to see Danny pushed to his absolute emotional limit in a way that I don’t think the show ever did before, save maybe for My Brother’s Keeper in season 1, and we get our first glimpse at Clockwork, who thanks to @five-rivers fanfic Mortified, has become one of my favorite DP characters. And of course, we get to see Dark Danny, or Dan.

But there’s one little thing about this episode that’s always bothered me: the very ending.

Because at the very end of TUE, we get a shot of the Fenton thermos that Dan is sealed away in rocking back and forth, before Dan’s face forms a massive dent in the side, his laughter echoing as the screen fades to the end credits.

You would think, with an ending like that, that Dan would come back in a later episode. That he would return in the series finale is this last big bad, this final demon for Danny to confront once and for all. 

But that’s not what happens. And it kinda pisses me off.

Dan should’ve come back. We should have gotten at least one more episode with this guy, exploring more of his character, more of his side of the story, anything at all. And you know what would be a great way to do this?

Vlad.

Imagine this, if you will.

Dan makes his escape from Clockwork’s lair, dead set on finishing what he started. Eventually, he discovers Vlad’s portal (let’s say that Vlad decided to rebuild his here) and, upon coming face to face with the man who made him like this in the first place, freaks out. Dan makes an attempt on Vlad’s life, and Vlad just barely manages to escape.

Once Vlad is sure this strange new ghost won’t find him so easily, he realizes that this new ghost had Danny’s insignia on his chest, and puts it together that Danny must be involved in this somehow. 

So Vlad makes his way to Amity Park to confront Danny about this new ghost. Danny assumes that Vlad is there to try to kill Jack or whatever, the two get into a massive fistfight, before Vlad finally tells Danny that he’s only here because a strange new ghost wearing Danny’s insignia popped out of his portal this morning attempting to kill him a second time.

And Danny freezes. He goes from snarky and flippant to sheer, raw terror that has Vlad actually worried. Danny demands to know what this new ghost looks like, and Vlad’s concern turns to fear when Danny’s face goes white with horror because this is the same kid who went up against Pariah Dark without a second thought, who has faced countless ghosts who’s powers could be considered godly with a fearless smile on his face, and Vlad may not have much respect for Danny but he knows what the kid lacks in intelligence he more than makes up for in bravery. 

Meaning that whoever this new ghost is must be incredibly powerful, incredibly horrific, and incredibly dangerous.

Danny tells Vlad to go to Danny’s house and tell them to put the ghost shields surrounding the town up, to not try anything funny, and don’t. Leave. The Shields. No matter what.

For once, Vlad decides to take Danny’s lead. He appears on the Fenton’s doorstep, Armani suit ruffled and hair disheveled, telling them that there is a very powerful ghost making it’s way toward Amity Park and they need to put the ghost shields up now, or risk a Pariah Dark-level threat again. 

Then Vlad makes his way toward the edge of town, because he still hasn’t gotten an answer from Danny as to who exactly that ghost was, and he’ll be damned if he can’t get an answer.

Meanwhile, Danny is just outside the ghost shields, waiting for Dan to arrive. He’s absolutely terrified, because what if Danny isn’t strong enough this time? What if he fails again, like he almost did before Clockwork turned back time? Would Clockwork do that for him again? Would he have to watch his future burn down this present that he’s taken so long to keep up?

Then Dan arrives. Right as Vlad makes it to the edge of the shield. 

And Vlad watches with awe as the two fight. He watches as Danny holds his own against this ghost that had almost decimated Vlad barely 2 hours prior, watches as Danny outmaneuvers, outsmarts this menace, watches as Danny fights tooth and nail in a way that Vlad is sure he’s never seen before, and he realizes that Danny has been holding back. Maybe not at first, maybe not during those first few months, but definitely for a while now, because Danny is holding his own now when Vlad couldn’t.

But then that leaves the question as to why? Why is Danny going all out now? Why was he so scared of this new ghost? More importantly, when did Danny encounter this guy? 

Because he had to have fought this ghost at least once before, to have had that reaction to Vlad’s description. 

And then, he hears the other ghost’s voice, one that sounds like a strange mixture of his and Danny’s, and he hears him say “It doesn’t matter what you do, Danny. You might’ve stopped that explosion, but there are still so many other things that lead to me. A car crash, an unlucky ghost attack, the ecto-filtrator, Vlad getting lucky, all of them could still happen. Your friends, your family, all gone, and you still turn into me.”

And suddenly, everything makes sense. That ghost that Danny’s fighting, that ghost that attacked Vlad, that is Danny, or it was, before something twisted him into an unrecognizable monster, and Vlad has a creeping suspicion that it has something to do with him.  And he realizes that Danny is so much more than he ever gave him credit for. He sees Danny, fighting his own future with a hope that Vlad would call naive if not for the fact that Danny had already thwarted whatever horrible future lead to this at least once before, and he understands that he was wrong about Danny.

Because this? Fighting against the personification of all the worst parts of yourself not once, but at least twice? It would require a maturity, a strength of will that Vlad knows he himself lacks, and he comes to the stunning realization that for all the childish quips and petty pranks, Danny is far more mature than Vlad ever was, far stronger than Vlad ever was.

And then, Danny does the ghostly wail.

And if Vlad was surprised before, then he's absolutely terrified now. That’s enough power to destroy an entire city, that single wail, and the sound is a bone-chilling scream that rubs the older halfa wrong in every way possible because that sound should not come from someone as young as Danny.

And now Vlad is caught between two realizations: that Danny is so much stronger than Vlad could ever be in every sense of the word, and that the only reason Danny is that strong is because he has to be, because he’s a child being forced to go against all manner of ghostly and cosmic horror all on his own, and Vlad suddenly feels intensely guilty because he should’ve been helping Danny, and instead he’s done nothing but make his life harder.

At that point, Jack and Maddie arrive. They freak out because Vlad is so close to Phantom and this other extremely powerful ghost, what the hell is he thinking!? And Vlad is trying desperately to get them to leave, because Danny looks exhausted and Vlad might be an ass, but he’s starting his redemption arc now and that means making sure Danny’s secret, and by extension Danny himself, is safe from his parents. Vlad knows what it’s like to be on an examination table, knows how terrifying it is to have doctors looming over you with knives and bright lights while you have no idea what’s going on, and he’ll be damned if he lets Danny (who he again reminds himself is very much still a child) go through that with his own parents.

But it’s too late. Danny detransforms right there on the street, in full view of Jack and Maddie and everyone else who’s gathered there (Dan’s been sucked back in the thermos at this point).

Danny turns around, covered in scratches and burns and bruises, blood in his mouth from where Dan punched him in the lip, left arm hanging in an unnatural angle, and he sees everyone: He sees Vlad, icy blue eyes so similar to Danny’s own filled with uncharacteristic worry.

He sees Sam and Tucker, both with wide, scared eyes, and he can just barely see the faint shimmer of tears gathering in their eyes.

He sees Jazz, face pale and her knuckles white as she grips the Fenton peeler with all her strength.

He sees Valerie, her helmet down and exposing a flurry of emotions ranging from shock to anger to horror to pain.

He sees his mom and dad, clinging to each other as they stare at Danny, at their son, and come to the realization that their son is dead, their son is a ghost and he has been for a while now and how did they never notice? How could they not notice that they had been shooting at their own son for at least a year now, that their boy had been putting his afterlife on the line for them while also trying to keep up with school, and evade capture by the GIW, all at the same time?

And Danny is scared, he’s so scared, because his parents look horrified of him and they think he’s a monster, and they hate him, because why else would they be looking at him like that?

He feels his fathers arms wrapping around him and he’s sure, he’s so sure that they’re about to haul him off to their lab to be pinned down and dissected by his own parents, because they saw Dan, they saw what he would become, they saw what he is now, they know now. But then his mom and dad start apologizing, because they never noticed, and they should’ve, they should’ve seen that Danny’s low grades and missed curfews and skipped classes were because he was putting his life on the line for everyone in this town over and over and over again. They apologize for not making him feel safe in his own house, because how many times did they rant about dissecting their own son right in front of him? How many times had Jack and Maddie shown Danny a dissected blob ghost and effectively told him that he was the next one on the list? How much hell did their own son have to go through on his own, because his own parents couldn’t see what was right there?

And Danny finally realizes that no, he’s not going to end up on a dissection table, that his parents do accept him as he is now. 

But there’s still this lingering fear because they don’t know. They don’t know what Danny might turn into, and he can’t keep that from them anymore, because Dan is a secret he can’t keep anymore.

Jack and Maddie are confused when their son pulls away, and for a moment they’re worried that Danny’s upset with them, that he’s angry at them, because why wouldn’t he be?

Then they see this nervousness, they see how he’s shaking and tense, and they might not always be able to read the room that well but they can tell that there’s something else going on here that Danny wants to tell them, even if he’s scared to.

So Jack and Maddie ask Danny if he wants to talk about whatever it is back at the house, and Danny says yes, but Vlad, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz should also be there, because Danny needs some level of support and he knows that Vlad won’t stop pestering him about Dan until he tells him.

Valerie steps in at this point, finally getting over her shock to demand to know what the hells going on, was Danny Phantom the whole time? Who was that other ghost? Why did that other ghost say that Danny would turn into him?

Sam and Tucker, who have been through the emotional wringer watching their best friend fight his evil future self, then reveal his identity to his parents, are kinda pissed at Valerie, because Danny’s already stressed out enough as is, she doesn’t need to be adding on to it. A fight almost breaks out between the three of them, which only stopped when Vlad of all people, steps in saying that while Valerie does have a right to know what’s going on, all of this yelling will do nothing but cause problems.

The three simmer down, and they all head over to the Fenton’s house, where Danny tells them everything: the portal, Pariah Dark (Vlad suddenly finds a particularly interesting spot on the floor), and Dan. He tells them about how Jack, Maddie, Jazz, Sam, and Tucker died in an explosion in that timeline, how that timeline’s Danny turned to Vlad to take him in, how Alt!Danny asked Vlad to remove his human half so he wouldn’t feel that pain anymore. How Alt!Phantom had been driven insane by the separation (he leaves out the part where Phantom fuses with Vlad’s ghost half: he’s not sure Vlad wants him to tell them about his halfa status), killing his human half before destroying most of humanity. How Danny had been forced to fight Dan a year ago, when he had attempted to blow up his friends in family in this timeline to ensure Dan’s recreation here.

When he’s finally done, about an hour and a half later, Danny looks around the room: at Valerie, at Vlad, at his best friends, at his sister, at his parents, and he sees not only acceptance, but respect. Pride. Because they saw that Danny was willing to look his fate in the eye, and say that he would change it no matter what. They saw him fight tooth and nail to protect them, they saw him defend them from his own demons with a bravery most grown adults don’t have, much less a 14 year old boy.

And they accept him.

[soulmate-game]

Can you do a prompt of Marinette being the daughter of the Joker and Harley but Harley left him before Marinette was born and when Joker found out about his daughter He decided to kidnap Marinette so she can become like him (Ace chemicals) (Daminette)

Woot, my first ask in a while! Let’s see how I can do this oddly specific ask that reminds me of a fic that might actually exist but tbh I’ve read so many fanfics idk if my brain is remembering right

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette knew Sabine and Tom weren’t her biological parents. She had known ever since she was eight, when her mother by blood visited her for the first time, sat her down, and explained everything. Including, but not limited to, her disastrously toxic past relationship, her new girlfriend, and her recent success with long term rehab (unofficial rehab that mostly consisted of illegal anti-hero actions, but hey if it worked it worked).

Marinette understood. Well no, she really didn’t since she was only eight, but she understood that her mom— that Harley— was genuine. She had always had a knack for emotions and telling when people were sincere or not. And Harley really was regretful about not being in her life beforehand, and was serious about wanting to be part of her life now that her own was mostly sorted out.

So Marinette was not surprised when Harley really did stick it out. When Harley cooed over Marinette copying her hairstyle to show her support of her biological mom, when Harley never failed to call at least once a week even if she was in jail for punching some asshole or another. Harley never stayed arrested long anymore, she was usually found to be on the right side of the moral scale more and more often so the police didn’t bother keeping her locked up anymore. Through the years, Marinette always looked forward to her mom’s calls. Looked forward to being lulled to sleep by one crazy story or another from her mother’s past. Everything was nice. Perfect, even, for a while.

A thump sounded from her balcony, one late night when Marinette was thirteen. Blinking, the dark haired girl furrowed her brows. Who would be on her balcony? Cautiously walking towards the trap door leading to it, grasping her metal pencil holder as a weapon (she remembered all of her Mom’s stories about break-ins and random attacks back in Gotham), the teen strained her ears. Akuma attacks were only a few months old now, but she had already become in high alert for any sign of Hawkmoth or his victims. As per usual, Marinette’s paranoia began to kick in. Did Hawkmoth already figure her out? Was he here for her earrings? Would she be able to fight him?

She gently pushed up the trap door, catching a glimpse of black leather. Huh? Marinette narrowed her eyes, confused. Was it Chat? He should have been on patrol, on the other side of the city. What was he doing visiting her?

Suddenly the trap door yanked the rest of the way open, making Marinette yelp as the handle for it rugged away from her fingers. And there, backlit by the pure blue-white moonlight, was Not Chat Noir. It was Catwoman, in all her skintight black leather glory, grinning at her before pushing her cat-eye goggles up to the top of her head and crouching down by the trap door’s entrance, balancing only on the pads of her feet.

“Well hello there~” the woman purred. “So you’re the cute little kitten Harley is so secretive about. Nice to finally meet you,” the woman held out a hand, sending Marinette a sweet, if mysterious, smile. For a while, the pigtailed girl only stared before a squeal of excitement left her throat, leaving very little room for any doubt as to her bloodline. A large smile curled over Marinette’s lips, leaving her beaming widely at the catlike woman on her balcony.

“Auntie Selina! Mom’s told me so much about you! Come in, come in, come in! I’ll sneak some macaroons up for you. Or do you prefer croissants? What’s your favorite flavor? Are you really dating Batman? Oh my goodness, that necklace is so lovely! Did you steal it?”

Selina could only chuckle fondly at the word vomit, letting the smaller girl drag her down the trap door and into her very… pink room. Looking around, Selina was once again slapped with just how similar this kid was to her outgoing friend. Marinette clearly had no shame in indulging in the things she liked, such as the color pink and anything regarding fashion. But there were other things amongst the girliness of the room, like the posters of Jagged Stone and the training dummy half-sticking out of her closet door. There were a few ornamental knives hung up behind her computer, seemingly just for decoration although Selina could see that they were definitely battle ready and sharpened. A small mallet, clearly a miniature replica of her mother’s own signature weapon, leaned up against the side of the girl’s laundry basket. But then there was Marinette’s mannequin, which was surrounded by meticulously cut pieces of cloth and had other pieces pinned to it strategically. Marinette clearly had the same professionalism and love for her chosen career that had so completely defined Harley in the Time Before Joker. The same genius intellect hiding in those deceptively cheerful bluebell eyes. And for the first time, though not for the last to be sure, Selina found herself thoroughly relieved that it seemed Marinette had inherited very little from her father.

Except, as she would learn from stories Harley told her later, an apparent affinity for chaos.

“I’m not that picky, kitten. But I’m not that hungry, so don’t go too out of your way,” Selina decided to just react the same way she did with Harley’s rambles, and answer one question at a time. “Also, I am actually dating Bruce Wayne. But, if you promise not to tell anyone—“ she waited for Marinette’s eager nod before continuing casually, “— the two are maybe not as mutually exclusive as many think,” Selina finished with a conspiratorial wink. “No, I actually did not steal this necklace. Bruce has been adamant in trying to curb me of my thieving habit by buying me almost everything I so much as glance at sideways. It’s sweet. Naive, because I like stealing for the fun of it, but sweet.”

Marinette giggled, bouncing in place happily. She loved a bit of innocent gossip like this. “Is Momma Ivy ever gonna visit? I don’t think Mom told her much about me yet, and I still gotta give her the shovel talk!” the fierce look that overcame Marinette’s face made Selina laugh again. Oh yes, definitely her mother’s daughter.

“Pam has been trying to sneak over, but the laws regarding Metahumans in Paris suddenly got much stricter a few months back and have caused some problems. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you?” Selina did not miss when her seemingly innocent question caused her niece to close off almost instantly. Bluebell eyes took on a familiar guardedness, and scanned her with the same soul-searching intensity that Harley had when she was channeling her Psychiatrist side. Selina found herself in a slightly concerning spot though—

Because she couldn’t predict Marinette at all. She was left to simply stand there as Marinette searched for some unidentifiable thing in her eyes, completely unable to read the younger girl’s face and with no idea of what to expect. The side effect of having chaos so thoroughly entwined in both of her biological parents, she supposed.

“Nope, no idea.”

Selina knew that was a lie, but knew equally as well that she would not be getting a better answer anytime soon. So, she let it go and the two of them once again dipped into innocent chatter.

Later that night, when Selina left and the sun threatened to rise at any minute, Tikki flew up from her hiding spot under Marinette’s pillow to land on her holder’s shoulder. Marinette giggled and looked over at her little friend.

“Tikki?”

“Yes, Mari?”

“Why was I chosen to be your holder?” She asked suddenly, flopping back into her bed and staring at her ceiling. The little goddess hummed, smiling knowingly before flying down to cuddle in the crook of Marinette’s neck.

“Because you are born from luck itself. Even when bad things happen, you have the luck and determination to get out just fine, and stronger than before. And despite the destruction and anarchy in your blood, you have the willpower to reign it in and keep control of yourself. That’s all order really is, Marinette. The decision to take all the chaos and madness around us, and make it make sense. Make it do something good. And that’s a large part of who you are, I could feel it in your soul the moment we first met.”

Marinette closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I lose control?”

“... You’ll just have to get it back. It’ll be hard, but as long as you have people to support you, you will be able to do it. You aren’t evil, Marinette,” the small God seemed to sense the true question her holder was asking, and did her best to soothe the doubt the girl felt. “Just remember the reasons you fight against chaos. Remember everyone you love, and you’ll be okay. And you have me, I’ll always help you.”

“... thank you, Tikki.”

—*—*—*—*—*

“He’s going to find out, Mom.”

“No he won’t, don’t be silly! I’ve been very careful about hiding you from him, Nettie-pie.”

“Mom… I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think we can hide who I am from him. If he sees me, I think he’ll know.”

The phone went silent.

“If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. If I was crazy about him, Sugar, then I’m head over heels for you. Not even he can stop me from caving his skull in if he tries his usual tricks with you.”

“... My plane leaves soon, I’ll talk to you when I land. And mom?”

“Yeah, honeycake?”

“I love you.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was uncanny just how often Marinette’s hunches were right. Her intuition was something to behold, truly, because it only took three days in Gotham before Joker snatched her right out of her room at Harley and Ivy’s apartment. At least Marinette had sixteen by then, so she had had enough experience as a hero in Paris and with generally unpredictable situations and people who were absolutely nuts for her to not immediately panic. Too much, anyway.

Because there was definitely a little panic there.

See, Marinette knew herself inside out by then. After her own battle with her toxic feelings towards Adrien and doing her best to heal from those before she turned out like her mom, she knew she was by no means mentally indestructible. Mental illness ran the high risk of being inherited, and Marinette was well aware that her own personality was scarily similar to her mother’s at times. She got attached quickly, felt affection and love for others very strongly and, as she found with Adrien, could easily become obsessive if she didn’t watch herself. At least Harley was the perfect person to help with that, and Marinette was serious about helping herself too. She did everything she could to keep an eye on her mental health and keep her behavior in check so she didn’t do anything too unhealthy with her relationships again.

But she knew, she knew she had a soft spot for family. She got attached too easily. And being in the same room as her biological father, despite being tied up by her hands and feet and knowing just how many unforgivable things he had done in his life, Marinette felt vulnerable. She didn’t want to hurt him, despite everything. She still loved him, despite every reason not to, despite her first meeting with him being with him shoving chloroform over her face and hogtying her to a metal chain dangling over a vat of acid.

Geez, she’d need more than just her mom as a therapist after this for sure. Even if her mom had a PH.D, Marinette felt like she’d need several psychiatrists to sort through her emotional turmoil right then and make sense of any of it.

Marinette licked her lips, aware that the only kindness that Joker gave his daughter was sparing her from the discomfort of being gagged.

“Don’t,” Marinette said, surprising herself with the amount of steel she was able to put into her voice. Somehow, she managed to make the single word sound more like an order than a plead. “Joker, put me—“

“Ah-Ah-Ah!” The clown walked over, tutting and waving his finger in the air in almost playful admonishment. He gave her a dramatically fake pout. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to refer to your father by his first name?” Neither of them mentioned that Joker was definitely not his real name. They both knew the point was moot. “Say it with me now— ‘Daddy dearest, I am more than willing to be dunked in acid for you,’ go ahead, say it.”

Marinette’s jaw clenched. Familial love or not, she would not tolerate being ridiculed like that. She dealt with enough ridicule when she was fourteen and fifteen during school, before she put Liar Rossi in her place. She had spent the past three years as a hero in charge of the war against Hawkmoth, in charge of protecting all of Paris from an emotional terrorist.

And gee, wasn’t that what Joker was, too? Sure, he was a terrorist in the classic meaning of the word as well, but he was nothing if not a skilled manipulator. He knew the human mind just as well as Harley or any other psychiatrist did, he just used his knowledge for different means. He had emotionally abused Harley for years, he emotionally abused and manipulated people all across gotham on a daily basis. He was just another Hawkmoth, but with more physical violence in place of magic.

With these thoughts strengthening her resolve, Marinette narrowed her eyes at the man who donated half of her DNA. She let her anger boil into her irises, hitting him with one of the few traits she knew she inherited from him.

Her ability to intimidate others on the tip of a hat.

“No,” she growled back at him. She took a deep breath. It had taken her a while, but she refused to be ashamed of who she was regardless of her blood relation. She would have no problem using the very things she inherited from Joker against him. She might have gotten most of Harley’s personality, she might have inherited her mother’s habit of falling in love hard, fast, and obsessively, but she also had Joker’s defiance. His bone-deep inability to be stopped from doing exactly whatever the fuck he wanted.

And then, there were Marinette’s own traits. The ones that were completely her own, developed over her life organically. Like her refusal to bow down to bullies, her creativity, her ability to take even the most chaotic situation and see some sort of balance and sanity in it that she could use to her advantage.

That she WOULD use to her advantage. The shadows she saw move out of the corner of her eye gave her the chance to do exactly that, she just needed to buy a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds.

“Excuse me?” Joker growled right back, his own intimidation, honed over more years than Marinette had been alive and thus much more potent than her own, reading its ugly head as he stalked towards her. His face was pulled down into an ugly snarl, his shoulders tensed and back straight as he glared right at her. From his spot on the metal walkway, he was easily able to reach over the railing and grab her chin in one pale, viciously strong hand. “I think you’re misunderstanding something here, little Marionette. I’m your father. Half of your life came directly from ME. That makes you my puppet. You exist to follow my orders,” his right grip suddenly let go, leaving behind the beginnings of a bruise as his entire demeanor changed from angry to cheerful. He spread his arms as if gesturing to the whole chemical plant victoriously, and an unnaturally large smile curved over his lips and bared yellowing teeth at her. “But that’s okay. I’ll forgive you this time, you haven’t learned any better yet. That’s why we’re here. We need to cleanse you of all those icky bad habits you’ve learned up until now, all you need is a little,” he bounced in place with a wicked smirk to illustrate his next words— “jumpstart. A little acid goes a long way to enlightenment you know, you’ll see my side of things in no time. And with my blood in you, you’ll make a better sidekick than that idiot Harley ever did. I can sense it, you’ve got a real talent for Chaos in you, it’s exciting, Heheeeheheee! Now then, we should probably speed things along before our family reunion is cut short. Hang in there, my little Marionette,” the man actually had the gall to spin in place while humming a tune cheerfully before all but dancing over to the lever that held Marinette’s length of chain in the air over the vat of chemicals below her. “Everything will clear up in that little head of yours in just a second!”

There! Right as Joker pulled the switch to lower her into the bubbling vat underneath her, Marinette was able to finish untying her hands. She couldn’t contain a small yelp as gravity flung her body forward, leaving her upside down on the chain for a brief moment. That was when the chain started lowering rapidly, and Marinette was barely able to rip the rope off of her ankles in time to swing off of it and onto the metal walkway that came up right next to the giant metal container of liquid death and insanity. Joker had barely enough time to shout in rage before the windows near the ceiling shattered, admitting the city’s vigilantes themselves. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Robin, and evening Black Bat all landed on the same metal platform above Marinette’s head that Joker was still on, buying the teen time to start running. But she didn’t go towards the exit right away, instead heading right up the stairs into the thick of the fight. Robin briefly separated from where Joker was managing to hold his own, goons flooding from side doors to inhibit the heroes in their attempt to bring their boss down.

The katana-using vigilante kept one eye on Marinette the whole time, suspicious of why the girl would come back up if not to help her father. But that wasn’t what she did, instead she flipped and kicked and punched her way through the quickly growing sea of Joker thugs until she reached a small pink purse that had been abandoned near the lever that had nearly sent her into liquid insanity. Three thugs surrounded her right as she snatched the purse up and slung it over her shoulder, but Robin barely had the chance to head over before she was heaving the men, who were all easily three times her size, over her shoulder and was slamming elbows into soft spots and the side of her hand into pressure points. By the time Robin got to her side, all three men were unconscious and bound to wake up in utter agony.

Marinette glanced up, getting ready to haul Robin over her shoulder as well before she realized who he was. She let her shoulders relax just a tick, sighing in relief before returning her eyes to scanning their surroundings. She shot him a brief grin.

“Good thing my adoptive mother, Mom, Momma Ivy, and Auntie Selina all made sure I knew how to take down a small army on my own, huh?” She asked rhetorically before they were both unceremoniously dragged back into the giant brawl.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Nettie-pie!”

“Marigold!”

Harley and Pamela Quinzel-Isley shoved down anyone and everyone who dared block their direct path to their daughter. The girl of the hour stood next to the bat clan, a shock blanket held tightly around her shoulders as she did her best to finish her statement to both the vigilantes and Commissioner Gordon.

“You untied yourself… from a ship-grade knot in high quality rope… with a phone charm?” They heard Gordon ask incredulously, to which Marinette could only give a lopsided smile. That was when her mom and stepmom crashed into her, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating hug.

“Gah— mom— momma Ivy—“ Marinette flailed in their arms for a bit before finally getting her head free and continuing her statement as if she didn’t have two of the most dangerous women in the city still giving her a bone crushing hug. “That’s better. Yes, Commissioner. You see, I realized when I was in the car with Joker, while I was pretending to still be unconscious, that one of the charms on my phone had pretty sharp corners that I could use like a serrated edge if I had enough time. So I carefully detached it from my phone, and held it in my palm. It took almost an hour, but once Joker noticed I was awake I kept him talking so that he didn’t notice what I was doing even as he tied me up to that chain. Really, it’s just lucky that I was able to get it worn down in time,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle. “But regardless, I think Batman and his partners,” she nodded to the listening vigilantes just to the side of her. “Were close enough that I would have been caught anyway, I just wanted to make sure they had less work to do. The sooner I freed myself, the sooner ‘Daddy Dearest,’” she grimaced as she mockingly used the same term Joker had tried to get her to say earlier that night. “Could go back behind bars where he belongs.”

“Oh my little Nettie-cake,” Harley cried, finally pulling back from the hug long enough to wipe her cheeks. It was clear that she had been crying for a while, and her colorful pigtails were mussed and tangled from where she must have been tugging on them in worry. “You were right. I’m so sorry, I never should have let you come to Gotham when I knew he was out of Arkham.”

Marinette was quick to shake her head frantically, pulling her arms out of Ivy’s hold so she could grasp Harley’s shoulders firmly. “No. No, Mom, I’m fine! And besides, we knew I couldn’t stay secret forever. I really like staying with you and Momma Ivy! Everything turned out fine though, and he’s headed back to Arkham. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Nettle,” Pam argued, distracting herself by running her hands through Marinette’s bangs. She had only known the girl for two years, but that was more than long enough for her to consider the teenager as her own. “He took you right out from under our noses. You were supposed to be safe in our home, and he still got to you. That’s not okay. We weren’t able to protect you like we should have been. Maybe you should go back to Paris early.”

“What?! No way!” Marinette argued, eyes wide. “This is the first time I’ve been able to ever visit you guys in Gotham, I’m not letting some psycho sperm donor keep me from enjoying time with my family! I came here knowing full well that it was dangerous. I’m not gonna just run away after one bad experience.”

Harley snorted, and then devolved into uncontrollable giggles. “Heh— psycho sperm donor. Good one, sugar!”

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mom’s usual immature antics. Seeing as Gordon had walked away muttering to himself a short while ago, Marinette pulled herself the rest of the way away from her moms and turned to the vigilantes. Without a second’s pause, she bowed to them just like her Maman Sabine taught her.

“Thank you for helping save me. I know it’s probably a shock that I’ve been kept secret from you guys all this time, but I hope you don’t lump me in with the likes of the green-haired half of my DNA. I’m staying with my Moms in their apartment, if you guys decide to patrol by our place like I suspect, I’ll leave some baked goods and coffee out for you on our patio. It’s the least I can do for you all after tonight. And don’t be too hard on Auntie Selina. Me and Mom swore her to secrecy, even from you guys.”

Batman jerked a little at the mention of Catwoman’s real name, jaw twitching for a second. Behind his cowl, his eyes narrowed. Marinette laughed, easily reading his body language and expression.

“She never told me who you are, but she didn’t exactly hide it either. It was easy to put the last pieces together on my own. But don’t worry, SHE swore me to secrecy too. I won’t tell anyone.

“How the hell are you related to the Laughing Asswipe from Hell?” Red Hood blurted out, his confusion clear even from behind his hideous helmet. Marinette burst into giggles, and both Pamela and Harley smiled knowingly.

“Mom gave me up for adoption when I was born, so I spent my whole life in Paris up until now,” she admitted. “Mom didn’t visit me for the first time until I was eight, and she and my adoptive parents are so awesome that it must’ve suffocated the worst traits from his DNA before they had a chance to develop,” she guessed out loud with a good natured smile.

Batman grunted. Marinette knew that one run-in wasn’t enough for them to trust her. After all, she was still the biological daughter of their arch enemy. But she didn’t mind, she understood the caution even if she didn’t fully agree with it. They weren’t outright hostile, despite the fact that Robin had never stopped glaring at her since they fought back-to-back against the mob of thugs earlier. She could live with their suspicion, as long as they continued to not be outright rude or mean to her.

At least she could empathize with Adrien now, whenever she figured out how to break it to him that Hawkmoth was definitely Gabriel and couldn’t be anyone else. Hopefully she could help soften the blow for him a little.

Harley and Ivy were starting to herd Marinette towards their car and take her back home, where they could continue to smother her in care and make sure she didn’t have even a scratch on her, when Robin’s voice stopped them all in their tracks.

“You are a surprisingly capable combatant.”

Marinette froze, blinking in surprise for a second before turning to stare at Robin in shock. The rest of the Bat Clam was doing the same, nobody expecting Robin of all people to be the first to directly complement Marinette. He tutted, crossing his arms, but never moved his gaze away from Marinette’s eyes.

“But your form could use some work. Most of your style is incredibly improvised, which I can appreciate since you do it well, but you would benefit from more structure in your fighting. I will set up a time and place for us to spar. We start in two days, if you think you can handle it.”

It took a while for what Robin said to sink in, and another few seconds for Marinette to decipher what his semi-aggressive, order-phrased proposal really meant. And she smiled.

“It’s a date.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Woo! This started off a little rough, but I really like how it ended up! Thank you, Anon!

[xfeliciahardyx]

Summary: What happened in the bakery changed you. The next few years would force you to harden and build so many walls that you vowed to never let anyone in. You can probably guess what happens when a certain soldier starts to scale those walls so that he can get to you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: mention of blood, intense details about ww2, side character deaths, traumatic backgrounds, mention of Nazis, mentions of broken bones and bullet wounds, children suffering due to the war, imprisonment in a concentration camp, someone does get stabbed, and angst (Warnings will be added as the story continues if need be. This is just for the first chapter!)

Taglist: ~Here~ (Feel free to add yourself to any other categories!)

Word Count: 9k

Author's Note: Okay everyone reading I first want to say thank you for reading my imagine. There are some things that I need to clarify before you start reading this. The entire series will be me going through the Captain America movies. It first starts at The First Avenger and continues through the places in time where Bucky is and where he is not OoOoOoO plot twists. But yes this can be overwhelming to read because some details are VERY graphic. i did use techniques from my medical skills class so all the medical procedures are researched and correct. Please enjoy The Winter Soldier and The White Feather or as I like to call it WSWF

The war was changing you and everyone around you. It was making kind people turn green and bad people even worse. You learned that the hard way of course. When you’d had been taken to the facility you didn’t know what to expect. Now you had been in it for God knows how long and you didn’t know what would happen. You had no way of contacting your family. Of contacting anyone you knew really. You were lost, scared, hoping for a savior that didn’t seem to be appearing. Lost traveling in a fog ridden meadow without any sense of direction. It killed you to see how many people died and suffered at the hands of the Germans, but your screams were of no use. The way they treated everyone was as horrible as a cat chasing a mouse. Like you were the filth on their boots, the scum of the earth. Any time someone said something to them they’d react as if a fire touched their skin and recoil away. They acted as if they didn’t have enough money to feed anyone properly. The food was sure to break several health codes back in the city but that didn’t seem to stop you all from eating it. If it wasn’t stale bread that you could knock someone out with, it was week old soup that had hints of green to it. The water was as piss pore and was a dull gray. Not your best moments or the biggest feast for the holidays but it was for survival. It was meant for you to get on through the day and do as you’re told. The inmates had started to call it the end of the world. You didn’t blame them because it was. That didn’t stop them from constantly complaining about every little thing. You on the other hand couldn’t give a fuck. It was like every single one up and flew away with the happiness that had been your life in France. You couldn’t even speak after the horrors the world and slammed into your life. You avoided everyone and everything that lived, scared and desperate to stay hidden. It was the way to go and others followed your lead. You weren’t one to speak or do anything with another person and the others around you knew it. So, they cleared their distance and you appreciated it. You had never been one to stay quiet for long around people. Eventually you’d try to get to know them. But you had changed just as times had. Even now you knew to keep your cool and to keep up with your manners. At any minute they could kill you. Or they could do something to shatter your already scarred mind. You knew you weren’t like the people who decided to suck up to them. Kissing the floor, they walked on for a little bit of clean water, or a bowl of soup that was freshly made. They were horrible to the suck ups and laughed at them as they did their best to seem appealing. You would never stoop as low to be a person who supported the people who had made this sad reality your life. Despite everything your parents had done to you, you always managed kindness. The girl who was secretly the crush of every guy because of her brains. The kind of girl that went to the library in her free time. The girl who never dated because she claimed she wanted to focus on school but could never know how to talk to guys. Went to the movies with her one friend who she cared about more than anything. The girl who made life positive because her family had always made it negative. Yes, you were over all kind but when you needed to be you could be as sharp as a spear. So, why did they kidnap you? It was simply a case of being at the wrong place in the wrong time. But that didn’t excuse their actions following the moments they walked in that bakery with their rifles held high and their voices screaming in curses. Why did they have to kill one of the most important people in your life right in front of you? Shot her straight through the heart at the bakery around the block from the school. All because she was Jewish. Their logic didn’t explain why they had the right to take her life. Her younger siblings had been complaining about food and you had an extra food stamp to use. You’d despised the stars they had to wear on their chest that prohibited them from having the normal things every person

needs. You all had practically skipped to the bakery in hopes that they’d have chocolate. It was a nice moment thinking that everything was back to normal. She had only been 21 and you 20. That was 3 years ago. Even so long after you could still imagine the events that had occurred. Her blood had splattered all over your polka dotted yellow dress. All she had asked for was food for her siblings. Sure, sweets would have been kind but you were all hungry in general. When the soldiers had come in, they’d been attracted to her star. You should have been on guard more, but you’d been naive to think they wouldn’t harm them. One had grabbed Ciera and pushed himself against her. In her reaction she’d kicked the German away and his comrade shot her. Her siblings that had been clinging to your side as they shot her cried out for their sister as she dropped to the ground. Siblings that had their throats slit as they clung to your arms. You had begged for their lives. They were just two children. You thought they would have a little mercy. You knew you would take care of them for their sister. You tried to explain that Tommy and Cassandra had been hungry, and their sister had been killed right in front of them. The trauma they had suffered was enough for their minds to endure. All of what was happening was enough to make anyone mad. It was necessary that they cry and mourn. But as heartless as they were, they showed no remorse. That two children crying for their dead sister would never and hadn’t stopped the Germans. They’d ripped the children from your hands and pressed their silver knives to their throats killed them. You wanted to fight for them. You loved them like your own siblings. They didn’t deserve the fate that had been handed to them. The third soldier had held your arms behind your back to stop you from tearing them away. You had tried to fight him, but you knew he wouldn’t let go. You watched the blood slip from their throats, and you sagged against the soldier. He had been the kinder of the three. A recruit perhaps. You didn’t realize until later that he’d held you in his embrace throughout the car ride to the place where you’d be transported. The screams that left their mouths still haunted you and you saw their terrified faces in your dreams. Sometimes they would come together as a group. Other times Tommy would visit you with blood seeping from his throat asking you for his sisters. You blamed yourself for not fighting hard enough. You watched as the life left your eyes when you knew it should have been you. You should have been dead on the ground with them as they lay dead next to their sister on the ground. Yes, life was unfair. But if life was unfair than war was no comparison.

“Gurl!” A German soldier yells pointing his finger to a spot in front of him. Most of them could barely speak English and when they did it was so slurred. Half the times you had to watch their hand motions to understand what they wanted. His eyes are locked on you from your spot by the back of the courtyard. It was a quiet place that everyone avoided because of the sun that would beam on you. They preferred the shade, but you just needed the quiet heat to cleanse your mind. You cursed and grabbed onto the chain fence behind you to lift yourself up. It bent with your weight but you knew it wouldn’t break. It was a trashy fence that if you tried to climb, you’d either be shot down or just get so scratched that you’d just end up doing more harm than good. The fence traveled around the vast courtyard that was rundown and brown. The fence had rust in certain spots from when it rained but it never did anything for the concrete. Blood stains covered the floor from where prisoners had been shot and dragged away. There were splatters and puddles all over the already dirty floor. Even on the ground leading into your cells you’d find the lengthened blood beneath your feet. The courtyard was the only time you got to see the outside world. They also had a calendar on the wall that told you what day it was. You weren’t sure why but maybe it was to bring down the spirits of everyone. You on the other hand had been there for 3 years 2 months and 25 days. Since the beginning of the German’s invasion of France. It was made up of mock punching bags filled with paper plates and hard pillows that no dared to sleep on. People sat in cliques all around speaking in different languages. Most of them spoke French and in your time there you’d picked up bits of other languages. Nothing too major but just enough to understand.

“Ve dount ave foreevare vittle gurl.” He yelled again and you picked up your pace. You didn’t want to do anything to cause any more attention to yourself. His accent sent prickles of fear up your spine and the hairs on your arms stood on end. As you walked by a few whispers drafted into your ears and people glanced away. Being called over by a soldier wasn’t a good thing and people avoided it as much as they could. There was always the possibility of someone getting shot or having to do something you weren’t mentally or physically prepared to do. So, the terror that was filling up your mind with endless possibilities wasn’t a fun thing. Anxiety tightened the space in your chest and your throat was constricted with worry. You stopped a few steps in front of the soldier who towered over you and said nothing as his eyes trailed over your body. Once upon a time you would have blushed and shifted awkwardly where you stood but now you stand still and stare straight at the wall behind the soldier to avoid eye contact. The mic on his shoulder beeps and he holds out a finger to you. You don’t respond and continue to stare straight ahead. He responds to the German voice in his native language rapidly and you fiddle with your hands behind your back. You could feel the tension rising around the two of you and it wasn’t good. His eyes had begun to harden more, and his posture grew rigid. His eyes darted around the dirt filled courtyard until he turned around and stared at a man. He had been beat up. On his eye was a purplish hue with hints of green. You saw a small limp in his walk as you turned your head in his direction. He stopped and leaned against the fence with his arms crossed a pair of tags dangling around his neck. The green Henley he wore was matted and had spatters of dried blood. His pants hung off his body, still fitting but with tears. Looking from the outside in he looked just as bad as every other prisoner of war. He had an unreadable expression as he surveyed his surroundings. You caught a small calculating look in his eyes as he scanned people that walked by. His eyes caught yours and your breath caught in your throat. He didn’t just stare at you from afar. He seemed to bare your soul out in front of everyone to see. His gaze was intense, and a hint of curiosity was in his dark eyes. The soldier beside you muttered something into his radio and your gaze snapped away from the handsome stranger and you turned back at attention. You couldn’t get the image of him out of your mind even as the soldier gave you your new group to follow to your cells. Everyone was given a number when they were placed in the camp. Each cell was alphabetized and most of the time people didn’t even pay attention to them. They did it to give themselves a feel of control. The only one you didn’t follow. You didn’t say anything back to him and when he dismissed you, you promptly walked back to your spot. You didn’t want to turn your head in the direction of the stranger you knew was walking over to you. You wanted to disappear, and you knew the moment he talked to you your tough exterior would break. There was something different about the way his head was held high and his shoulders never slumped. You could practically feel his confidence from across the courtyard and out of your peripheral vision. You slid down the fence with a sigh as you put your head in your knees. You took a few breaths to keep yourself calm as a pair of shoes came into view. They were brown and matted and looked like they’d seen better days.

“You okay?” a voice followed. It was low and soft, but it sent shivers down your spine. You slowly raised your eyes up the body that was wearing them, and your eyes widened in surprise where the man from before stood in front of you. He’s much taller than you initially realized and his eyes a deeper brown. He stares down at you with worry and you just stared at him not knowing what to do. He was around your age and it was rare you found anyone your age and that spoke a language you could speak. Sure, there were people who spoke your language and had tried to talk to you. Soon enough they stopped coming around because staying in a group too long would strike fearing the people because they wouldn’t want the Germans thinking new company meant rebellion. He moved to your side and carefully slid down the steel fence. You stared ahead at the people who stood in the middle of the courtyard.

“So, you people watch.” The stranger says motioning to the people in front of you both. You nod without looking at him keeping a close eye on the people in front of you. Something felt wrong about the gathering. It wasn’t anything good. Someone was shoved across into another person and you heard the stranger suck in a breath. He felt the sudden shift too and he pointed a finger towards a short man in broken glasses. His eyes flipped from each side of the courtyard where the two soldiers stood. His hands were clasped together, and his feet were headed in the direction of the crowd. You nudged your elbow into your newfound companions’ arm tilting your chin up in the direction of the people. The air felt stiff in the courtyard more than normal as the crowd began to step into a circle the short man now joining them. The soldiers seemed to notice it too because their gazes were hardened, and their guns were pointed. Your heart began to pound as you knew what was coming next. It haunted you every night ever since you had seen it the day you’d been kidnapped and taken to this camp. The images of Ciera’s body falling to the ground flashes through your vision and you shake your head, feeling your heart squeeze. The screams of her siblings were in the wind you closed your eyes tight and took in a deep breath. They were screaming out orders in German, but the group paid them no mind. You couldn’t breathe. Your hands rubbed against your rugged jeans completely lost to your nightmares that were coming to life. You opened your eyes slowly and looked around to see if anyone else was witnessing what was going down. A few other small groups of people watched from afar with dead eyes, but none made a move to assist. Your eyes were locked on the German soldier directly across from you that was walking towards the group. With each footstep your breathing became faster and your mind screamed for them to heed the warnings the Germans were giving. The group was large and growing by the minute which in the eyes of your captors was a bigger threat. The German nudged one of the people in the group with his gun and what happened next you had never expected. The stringy thin man with blood hair who had been poked spun around and stabbed the soldier in the neck with a foreign object and someone screamed. His hands went to his throat and he dropped his gun. The man dove for it as the soldier fell slowly bleeding out on the concrete. Everything was chaos as the gun dropped and a single bullet escaped from its chamber. The bullet flew across the courtyard and your eyes flew with it watching it impale a single child.

“No!” you screamed bolting up from your place by the fence. The soldiers burst into action firing down anyone who had been in the huge crowd. Everyone went running towards the inside of the prison, trying to avoid the bullets. It was pure chaos as people from everywhere were getting shot as they tried to escape the rage of the soldiers. There were screams of all different languages and you heard the cry of the mother above all. Her cries for her baby filled your ears as you raced across the courtyard toward the downed child. The man followed you close behind, and you paid him no mind as you shoved through the on rush of people. People were getting into meaningless fights as they tried to get away. A man stops in front of you making a grab for your waist. A hand presses against your chest shoving you back as the stranger jumps in front of you. He throws a hard punch at the man who’d made an attempt touch and he gets knocked to the ground. You grabbed his hand and started running again. The mother’s screams in French guided you through the crowd. You felt your foot hit something before you went flying. Your hands moved out in front of you to stop the fall by instinct and on impact you hissed in pain. You had landed hard on your free hand but was yanked back up just as quickly.

“We have to go.” The man from before whispered in your ear.

“The child needs help.” You whispered back and he didn’t say a word back as he supported you on the remaining distance. The child lay on the ground holding his mother’s hand as she screamed for help. The brown-haired man set you on the floor beside the child and you immediately began ripping your jacket off your arms. You ripped the sleeves off the jacket and used the back to apply pressure to the wound. The single bullet hole was small but on the size of the boy was enough to cause a lot of damage. You quickly felt it become wet with blood and pressed down a little harder as the boy cried out in pain.

“Mon garçon, s'il vous plaît, sauvez mon garçon.”(My boy, Please save my boy) She sobbed as her eyes covered her face. Her hands were covered in his blood and your mind flashed with the memory of your own hands covered in Tommy and Cassandra’s blood. You ignored her cries but that didn’t stop you from helping her. You kept a steady push on his leg to slow the bleeding. After a few checks you eyed the wound and you couldn’t help the feel of triumph that flowed through your heart. The slow of bleeding meant you could check the wound for any other injuries it could have caused. You ripped open his pant leg and wiped the blood away to get a good look at the wound. This wasn’t the first time you’d be a medic and it wouldn’t be the last. Your father had gotten plenty of hunting wounds and you had been the one to take care of them. His leg only held one bullet hole, but his leg was so skinny it could fit in the palm of your hand. Your heart ached that this would be the childhood he remembered and not one filled with days of running in a field with his mother or being in school with his friends. He was one of the lucky ones you had to remind yourself. He was alive and you were determined to keep him that way. Your hands moved with remarkable speed as you lifted the child’s leg and looked for the exit wound of the bullet. A small hole was in the back of his leg and you wiped it clear of blood. You lifted the sleeve from earlier to your teeth and made a big enough tear that you could rip it with your bare hands. The long piece of clothing dangled between your fingertips as you examined the length. From the way the threading looked it wouldn’t hold for long, so you’d have to find a more permanent solution. But that was later and the thin cloth would do good for now.

“How can I help?” The man whispered in your ear again as your mind whirled with adrenaline. Your instincts in healing were helping you move through the steps you’d done so many times before with ease, but you couldn’t help the storm brewing in your feelings. You were enraged, scared, and so many other feelings all at once. You had gotten lost in the moment as you rushed to save the boy that lay before you. People were still running inside, and the screams had begun to slow. The courtyard was filled with sobs of families returning to their loved one’s bodies that lay dead on the floor. The blood on the ground would haunt them for the rest of their lives as the bodies were carried away by the ‘healthy’ prisoners.

“Lift his leg carefully. I need to make a tourniquet to stop the bleeding.” You said softly showing him the places to place his hands. He placed his above and below the wound just as you’d asked and lifted slowly. The boy screamed in pain and the mother began to reach her hands out to stop you. You glared at her, but she ignored your attempts to stop her from distracting you. She was screaming at you in French, begging you to stop hurting her boy. You ignored her cries and curses and continued to work. Her hands were gripping yours now as she tightened them around your wrists, and you struggled to tie the knot.

“Si vous ne retirez pas vos mains, votre fils mourra!” (if you don’t pull your hands away your son will die) you snap back at her in French and her nails stop digging into your skin. She pulls away quickly but doesn’t move her eyes away from your face. You sigh in frustration as you tighten the knot around the boy’s leg. You can hear the boy crying for his maman and she’s trying to calm him but it’s no use. You grab the jacket and place it over the boys wound again and apply pressure. The mother is sobbing as she holds her sons face and you watch knowing that you can only help minimally. You motion for the man to lower his leg softly and he does. He watches you carefully as you wrap the torn jacket around his leg and tie it again in the back. The bleeding has slowed to minimal trickle, but you’ll have to find something to clean the wound to keep away infection. You sigh in relief collapsing on the back of your heels as the woman steps away from her boy and walks over to you. She offers a hand over to you and you stare at it not sure what to do. She smiles weakly and shakes her hand again. You realize she’s trying to get you to stand up and you take it willingly. She helps you stand up and as soon as you’ve got on your feet, she pulls you into a hug.

“You…help…. me Henry.” She whispers in your ear as she pulls away. There’s a new look in her eyes as she apologizes for hurting you in French. She pulls your wrists to her mouth and places small kisses over the crescent moon shaped marks. Her fingers run over them in a silent guilt and you pull away and give her a small smile. Her hand brushes your cheek leaving a trail of blood, but her eyes are locked on yours. She leans in placing a kiss on your cheek before releasing you from her embrace. She quiets quickly once you tell her that it’s alright and that you have something to tell her. You start to give her basic instructions that will keep her son alive. How to clean the wound and tell her the signs of infection. Her hands grip onto her fingers, and her eyes are eager to make sure she doesn’t miss a word. You tell her your cell keep so that if she may ever need your assistance, she can send someone. The man who helped you stands beside you as you give her these instructions nodding as you list off everything. Once you trust that she knows everything you bid her goodbye and tell her to stay safe. She doesn’t respond as she looks away from you down to her son whose hand is out reached for her. She rushes to her knees and grabs his hand and doesn’t give you another glance. You know she won’t leave him alone for a minute. The fear of losing her family wasn’t a good one and it had scarred her heart forever just as it did to you months ago. She would hold on tight to his hands and watch for any signs of sickness. She would not sleep through the night but would tell her boy that she did. She’d do anything to protect her last light in the dark world. Your eyes travel from their joined hands to the boys’ face. It’s pale, most likely from the blood loss but he smiles at you. He opens his mouth to say something, and just as quick as it opens it closes as a grimace of pain flashes over his face. You shake your head giving him a weak smile. You kneel beside his head and place a soft kiss on his sweaty forehead and murmur a good-bye. You give the mother and son a small wave before standing once more and turning on your heel to walk away. Your tail follows you as you make your rounds around the courtyard. People cry out to the two of you as you try your best to help anyone and everyone. Most people have died by the time you reach them, and you close their eyes for the dead to mourn. Some don’t accept that their loved one is dead and continue to scream their fury at your insistence. One man almost attacks you because he refuses to believe his wife was killed and the stranger has to stop him. Tears stream down your cheeks at the sight of each body that lies on the floor. There was so much blood on the court now that it was rare you saw an old patch that was dried. It runs underneath your shoes and covers each piece of cement with ease. It soaks the clothes of the people lying beside their families and friends crying their hearts out to someone who is no longer there. Their pain has become apart of you and you can feel the shock of it numb you by the time you reach the last patient. Your tears have dried up and your hands are covered in so much blood that pieces flake off when the wind blows through the courtyard. You stand beside the teenage girl that holds her arm limp as her companion stands nearby attempting to talk to you in German. You attempt to converse with him in French the only language you’d been able to learn in your months of imprisonment but it’s no use as he doesn’t understand you. The girl cries softly as you touch her arm trying to figure out what was wrong.

“Was ist mit ihr passiert?” (What happened to her?) your partner says in German earning a glance from the boy. He speaks faster now the urgency in his hand motions clear. You can’t help but watch in awe as the man who has been helping this whole time stays remarkably calm. He nods and continues to ask him questions and gives him responses without hesitation. He doesn’t interrupt when it becomes clear that the boy is in full out panic mode. You place your hand on the girls’ shoulder and she flinches away before you give her a small smile. She stared at you with a suspicious glare in her eyes, but you tapped your eyes and then pointed to her shoulder in hopes that she would understand. Her eyes are wide with understanding and she leans in closer to you. You press your fingertip towards the top of her shoulder, and you feel her flinch. Doing this a few more times as you examine her shoulder you realize it doesn’t look like the other. It’s bent at an odd angle and you curse yourself for not realizing sooner.

“Her shoulder is dislocated presumably from being trampled in the panic. I know how to put it back in place, but it’ll be a two person job so I’ll need your help...” you trail off not knowing your assistants name. He glances over his shoulder giving you a smile makes you look down at your hands tat have begun to fidget.

“Call me Bucky.” He winks but you can tell he immediately regrets it because he turns away and starts muttering something under his breath. You catch a small huff of frustration that he cuts off quickly with ‘idiot’ following in English. You chuckle a little and his eyes brighten at your show of emotion towards him. Besides the subtle nudges of worry from before the attack, it was the only one you’d shown. His whole demeanor changed then, and you couldn’t help but feel drawn to the sudden beam of light. He was trying to hide his ear to ear smile as he shifted in place. You shake your head slightly and notice the two people that had been forgotten for a short moment. The man from before is quiet now as the girl talks to him in a soft voice. You motion Bucky over, and he leans down to your level.

“She needs to lie on her back. I’m going to pull it back into place.” Bucky gives you a single nod and begins talking to her in German. She stares at him in confusion but then as he explains it even more, she begins to nod her head in understanding reaching out to her boyfriend for assistance. He grabs her lifted hand and Bucky grabs her waist. Her boyfriend kneels beside her and the two exchange soft words that you don’t attempt to hear. Yes, there were things worse than what she was going through but what you were about to do wasn’t about to be as painless as she’d think. Besides the love that you could see when they looked at each other felt like you were intruding every time they looked at each other. When both men have settled, they both slowly lay her down onto her back, but your eyes don’t miss the flinch she gives once Bucky goes near her and her partner has stepped away. You slightly nudge Bucky out of the way and lightly grab her arm. You can see the gratitude in her eyes, and she tries to grab your hand most likely to thank you in the only way she knew how. You gave her a small nod and remained silent because somethings were better left unsaid. As you go through the steps you tell Bucky what you’re doing and in turn he translates. She doesn’t take her eyes off her partner the entire way as you begin to move her. Her arm is causing her a lot of pain, so your touches are featherlight. She is squeezing his hand and you take a lot of breaks to offer her some relief. Once her arm is outstretched towards you, you place your foot underneath where her shoulder is. You take a deep breath and without warning pull her arm at the same time as you push into her side. A loud pop sounds from her arm and you immediately stop pulling on her arm and let it sit on your lap. A blood curdling scream leaves her mouth and she begins to sob in pain. You can see her body shake as her free hand covers the tears that stream down her face. The three of you aren’t the only ones that heard her of course and a German soldier runs over to you all and starts yelling commands that you don’t understand. The girls companion starts responding to him much quieter than before most likely being careful with what he says. Even with the man explaining the soldier still has his eyes locked on you with a hatred you’d never seen before. It’s as if the soldier doesn’t care that you helped her and that she’d be better off in pain. You glare right back at him without a second thought before he turns his gaze away. He doesn’t respond to the boy before walking back to his post near the corner a few feet away from you. You let a breath you didn’t know you were holding in as he leaves the four of you alone on the courtyard again. You look down at the blonde girl who lies with her hair matted in blood from the concrete. She looks at you with a blank expression on her face that soon turns into gratitude. It’s not the first you’ve gotten but something about the way she put her trust in you makes your heart jump for joy. She lifts her arm into the air slowly but gives you a thumbs up, which in turn makes you laugh a little. She grins at you as you return her thumbs up right back and she looks away reaching out to her lover. He grabs her hands quickly and helps her to her feet. It’s a slow process as she slowly tries to get a handle on her pain tolerance, but eventually she stands up. She holds onto his hands to balance herself and gave her shoulder a roll. She let out a soft laugh in triumph and glanced over to where you and Bucky stood. Her eyes warm with happiness that would only last in the moment but were well deserved. She directed her eyes to Bucky and gave him a small smile as she spoke to him in German. You took the chance to finally look at the man who’d introduced himself to you. Here he was in the middle of a war willing to trust you and take care of all these people and be your assistant and he didn’t even know your name. You could tell by the hard built of his shoulders and the way his jaw tensed was because he was strong. Not in a physical way but in

a mental was as well. He could be one to give support and be just as willing to take it away. He was strong but not with many walls. He was determined but not without conscious. He was a good man. A handsome one at that you think before turning away and blushing. Here this man was helping you as a translator and you were thinking about how strong and physically built he was. You shake your head biting on your bottom lip to avoid the smile that wants to appear on your face.

“What have I got something on my face?” he jokes placing his bloody hands to his mouth. You shake your head but can’t help the small laugh that leaves your mouth. Even as a good guy who’d helped you save 20 people who were either bleeding or needed something fixing, he was a dork. The couple gives you a wave before walking off the courtyard towards the yelling Germans. It was time to go to your designated area. The cell of which you’d have to stay in until mealtime which would be in about an hour. As if on cue your stomach growls extremely loud and you place a hand over it. Usually you could hold your hunger over with some water, but it didn’t seem like there would be anything clean for a little while. The usual stream that came out of a hose was used to clean the victims’ blood away. You turned towards the hose where it had only on clean spot on the concrete. Today had been horrible and you knew there would be more days just like this to come. You still felt the ache for the people you couldn’t save and how their blood was still on your hands. You looked down at the floor and your eyes connected with the blood that covered your shoes. You felt the sudden urge to rinse it off and clean them with bleach, but you knew they would never truly leave. The stains would wash off physically, but it would stay with you forever and trap you in its horrors.

“Don’t let it scar you more than it already will.” He whispered into your ear. You didn’t have the strength for words as the day’s exhaustion hit you. You felt your knees buckle and Bucky’s arm wrapped around your waist quickly, keeping you up. All the adrenaline was dying out and you could barely keep your eyes open as he attempted to have you walk. You couldn’t though and it made your feet hurt 10 times more. You groaned and forced him to stop for a minute. You were blinking rapidly as your vision faded in and out.

“I got you.” He murmured placing an arm under your knees and swooping you into the air. His arms pulled you closer to his chest and you placed a hand on your stomach. You wanted to say thank you, but the words wouldn’t come. You were burnt out of all your energy and your eyes lazily rolled over the man who was walking you across the courtyard. He looked straight ahead, and his gaze sharpened at the people who passed by. It was clear he didn’t trust the people around you. It wasn’t something anyone should ever give out willingly but the thought that he had given you such a fragile thing made your mind whirl with possibilities. You kept staring at him in wonder and you weren’t sure if it was from the lack of food and water, but you felt a sort of friendship growing with Bucky. He made you feel safe and he hadn’t abandoned you as you fell but instead, he’d picked you up. He’d let you work and hadn’t tried to take over either. Your hand gravitated towards his cheek and you held it there. Something about the action felt right and it comforted you. From what you saw it had the same effect on him. He looked down at you with a sincerity in his eyes and a small smile formed on his lips. It warmed your heart that you were able to get that reaction from him after such a long day and you couldn’t stop the smile you returned. He looked up and his gaze sharpened once more but there was something else displayed across his face. It was more lie… astonishment. You turned your head in confusion to see what had made him look such a way and you let out a small gasp. The area around the only source of water wasn’t crowded like it had been when you’d glanced at it. The people had made two lines directly to the water hose. You recognized these people as the ones you’d helped. Men and women who’d lost their loved ones and had found some broken but ready to be helped had stepped aside so that you could get some water.

“No.” you croaked nudging Bucky. You needed them to know you weren’t any special. You weren’t some savior. You’d been able to save them, but you couldn’t save your best friend and her siblings. That their ghosts still haunted you in the depths of the night. You began to squirm in his arms your energy suddenly making its way back into your body. He glanced down at you as you struggled to get down. He lowered your legs and planted them on the floor without a word, but his arm didn’t leave your waist. You were glad because if it weren’t for the support you were sure to fall. You pointed to the hose and Bucky nodded and began walking the two of you towards it. The area was clear as the people watched you from the sides. You could feel your terror rising as you looked to the guards that watched from afar. Your heart was beginning to pound with anxiety. You didn’t want another shoot out. Too many people had died already, and you wouldn’t let any more die. You urged Bucky forward and soon you reached the front to where the boy, Henry stands as his mother washes his wound. He looks up at you and gives you a small wave and begins tapping his mother. She looks up from her action with a look of annoyance, but it vanishes the minute she notices you. Her gaze softens and she smiles urging you forward. You kneeled beside them and murmured a silent hello as Henry proudly held back the torn-up pant leg. He was telling his maman in French about how he would be a strong boy and protect them both from harm. She said nothing but only let a smile and a few laughs through her tough exterior as she let you inspect the wound. There never was a lot of talking in the prison except for the quiet whispers between the terrified families. People weren’t the chatty types when they’d be kidnapped out of their homes and forced away from their families. You shook your head as images of Jews being thrown out into the street and onto a bus in your hometown flashes across your mind. Just like you couldn’t save Ciera and her siblings you couldn’t even save them. But you could save these people. Some part of you hoped that you could help push the everlasting guilt away, but you knew you would always feel that pain. So, you internalized it and turned to the wound on the boys’ leg again. The flesh surrounding the wound looked clean which was already a very good sign. You checked along his leg for any red lines that would travel up. It was a common sign of blood poisoning but seeing as he had none you knew he would be alright for the time being. If there were any of the blood red veins trailing along his pale skin, it would be a sign of infection and with no antibiotics would be the death of him. She pulls the pant leg away from the boy at your request because he dances away from your touch. He giggles because your touch is warm against his cold skin and you smile at her and her boy. Giving her the good news is probably a moment you’ll never forget as she wraps her arm around her son tightly. You can tell from the way she’s beaming at being able to stay with her son for more time means that in some way they’ll get through this together. It makes your heart jump for joy and you can’t help but let the happiness consume you. The mother hands her son to Bucky and he kneels on a rock nearby holding the child. At one point while the mother washes a wound you catch Bucky letting the boy squeeze his cheeks and pull at them every which way. He doesn’t let this stop him from tickling the boy and the sight is so pure that you’re smiling for the rest of the time. More and more patients leave to go towards their cells after you give them direct instructions. They all come to the water and you and the mother wash out their wounds and they walk away. It’s a process that soon you start to do without realizing how many people you’ve helped. Some were far worse than her son with multiple wounds that fill with blood at the touch. It takes a lot to break a person and seeing multiple scrapes and bullet wounds would make anyone sick. After about the 15th person she ran away to throw

up because of the smell of cooking flesh from the sun above. Bucky immediately took her place in helping you clean the wounds. You looked over at the woman in concern but found her son rubbing her back as they sat on the concrete holding each other. You felt for her because this scenario was nothing good or that pleasing to see. Knowing all these people were hurting and that the men who guarded you all watched from afar and refused to help was making you feel 20 shades of green. You wanted to just react at them. To hurt the people who were hurting all these innocents. You despised them and with each wound that began receiving care by your hands the hatred began growing bigger and bigger.

“Neutralize your expression. Showing you’re angry will upset the Nazis even more.” Bucky’s hushed voice interrupted your thoughts. You lift your eyes to meet his as you turn the faucet off and dab at the patient’s jacket to dry his wound. The confusion you felt must have been visible on your face because his eyebrows raise as his head jerks to his right. Your eyes slowly follow the trail to where a German soldier stands with his gun in his hands. His eyes stare directly at your actions as if you were a criminal about to attack.

“They’ve been watching the entire time. Through the cameras in the corners. They have orders to let us be but to shoot if they see anything wrong.” You immediately drop your expression and place a blank look on your face. Bucky’s nod confirms that your expression is fine and you both help the man who’d been stabbed on the right side of his chest. The panic of knowing you were being watched never quite faded so you dived deeper into doing whatever you could for the people’s wounds. He’d been lucky for the knife to not puncture his lung because if that had happened his lungs would have filled with blood and he would end up choking on his own blood. If that had been the case, there would have been nothing for you to do at least long term. You were slowly coming to realize that all those trips spent in the library studying the multiple medical books were coming to work out in your favor. Bucky calls out the information in which you’ve told him to tell the girl who accompanies the man. She nods vigorously before grabbing his hand and helping him walk over to the opening that leads to the cells where you all would be holed up. The prison inside of the prison. How ironic. You call out for the next person to step forward but are met with silence. You look to the previous line to be met with open space.

“Come here.” He urges. He’s kneeling in front of you from where you sit on the high-rise rock. You ignore the outreach of his bloody hand and you walk around him. He sighs as you reach down to the faucet. The cold water greets your fingertips and you don’t move away from it. Bucky taps your shoulder and you turn around to see what he needs. He’s staring at you like you’re the smallest child in the playground and that if you don’t listen, he’ll throw you in time out. He points to his raised knee and you scoff shaking your head.

“Either you do it willingly or I force you.” You shake your head again and he groans throwing his head back in mock pain. You giggle and lean forward to reach the faucet again but you’re swiped off your feet as hands grip your waist tightly. He sits you on his lap and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from falling. You whip your head around to glare at him because you’re certain he’s a mad man and he grins leaning towards the faucet. You let out a squeal and you grip his knees as he shifts back on the rock sitting you square between his legs. You know you look beyond pissed because he avoids your eyes. He’s still grinning though at your reaction as his hands release your waist and reach towards the faucet. You move your hands away quickly and lean forward with him, eager to get the remaining blood off your skin. Bucky turns the faucet to the left and water starts spilling from it. He tuts when your hands almost touch the water and he grabs your wrists. The interaction makes your skin tingle and interlocks your fingers with his. In that moment you feel the firs spread throughout your body. Everywhere he touches you sends a different burn straight to your heart. His chest presses against your back as he washes the blood off both of your hands. When he breathes you can feel it hit your ear and it makes the hair on your skin rise. His hands caress yours as they wash 30 or more people’s blood off. His fingers slide into between yours with ease that you watch in awe as your hands become yours again. Except with his hands on yours you aren’t exactly sure where he begins and where you stop. Funny thing is, you don’t ever want to figure it out. His fingers brush over yours and they move away too soon. Before you can grasp what you’re doing you grab his hands and start the same movements. You slide your fingers against his long ones and watch as they become his just as yours were yours. You hear Bucky’s breathing grow uneven and you look over your shoulder to see what’s wrong. His eyes immediately lock on yours and you can see something that you’d never seen on his face before. You can’t read it, but you know it’s something he tries to hide because his face becomes black once more and his hands move away from yours. You gasp softly at the loss of contact and swallow the complaint that tries to force its way out. The moment has disappeared, and you can feel the slight tinge of embarrassment floating its way through your senses. You wipe your hands on your pants and the sight of you and Bucky’s hands together burns itself into your mind. You know it shouldn’t be there, but your heart holds it close and locks it away for safe keeping.

“You ready?” he whispers. His hand lays on your stomach which does a flop at the sight of it and you nod not sure if you could even get through a full sentence without stuttering. You stand up and take a step away from him. You were trying to get a grasp on your emotions but the only thing you could focus on was how his scent no longer surrounded you. Your legs wobble as you try to walk but your knees give out. Bucky grabs your hand and pulls it around his neck.

“I don’t think I can walk.” You whisper. He doesn’t respond at first but you can tell he’s debating what to do.

“Hop on my back. I’ll carry you.” You nod slowly as you walk behind him and grab onto his shoulders. His hands wrap around your thighs and he pushes you up in the air. You jump and let your legs fall around his waist and let your arms hang loose over his shoulders. His figure shakes a little as he tries to steady you and start his long walk towards the open steel doors. You place your chin on his shoulder and let out a small sigh.

“My knight in shining armor.” You tease half heartedly and he laughs. The sound warms your bones more than anything else could and you don’t catch the small smile that spreads across his face as he starts walking towards the yelling Germans. It’s time for everyone to go back to their cells and if told once more there would be consequences. Your arms become heavy and feel like blobs of jello as they swing. You can feel yourself absentmindly snuggling into the warmth of the man carrying you, but it doesn’t register as your senses begin shutting down. You blink a few times as you stared down at the dog tags that swung on top of the green Henley that adorned Bucky’s chest. The faint sunlight disappears as he enters the prisoner compound and the room becomes dark. You lift your head up as shouts erupt around you. You catch people clapping and you have the urge to tell them to stop. Drawing attention of the soldiers wasn’t a good idea because they had just witnessed what happens when you cause a ruckus. You bury your head back into Bucky’s neck as you silently wish for the cries of joy to stop. Despite all the good you’d done you still couldn’t get over all the good you could have done so many years ago. Bucky senses your discomfort and starts to walk a little faster than before.

“Get some rest. You look like you could use it.” He says softly as a metal door creaks and it gets held open for the two of you. You nod slowly feeling your eyes shut again. You listen to him this time and let the exhaustion finally take over your body.

Tagging some peeps~@randomfangirl82 @stucky-my-ship @jules-1999 @starkssnarks @dallaswinstonswife1109@notsosecretspy @kyn-lyn-blog @alltoowell-taylorsversion@creecree-4-life