#also!!! sry the reason i haven’t replied to that ask is bc i mean to draw smthn for it but i have been Busy so au update has been on hold

[un-pearable]

OMG so ive been thinking abt this ever since i saw ur ninjas from different time periods au but the way u incorporated the love triangle there (jay thinking they hate him for starting all of that) has driven me crazy ive been thinking about it for forever this guy gets so scared of them hating him and im like. Shakes u ur brain is so big i hope u know that idk where i was going with this i just that tidbit has wormed its way into my head ever since

yeah!!!! i just. okay so a) it’s already mostly textual given his entire arc in s4 but ALSO b) i have so many issues with how people hc jay to have anxiety and like. cool that’s how anxiety actually works?? misreading the situation and overreacting like jay does is both understandable and INCREDIBLY IN CHARACTER and as much as later seasons/fanon cram him into a very exaggerated portrayal of someone with anxiety this is where i relate to him the most. this is what being social anxious actually does: backfiring. overthinking situations that could be resolved easily if he didn’t take it so personally that it blows up BOTH his biggest relationships. the only difference from the stereotypical portrayal of an anxious person is that jay doesn’t shut down, he just keeps digging himself into a hole, which is a very real way that it manifests. i have done this. it is incredibly easy to do this. we are social machines built to interpret people and it is so so easy to misinterpret or overestimate or just plain fuck it up. jay is literally, textually insecure and the love triangle, as poorly executed as it is, took a sledgehammer to his sense of self and what he thought was a given: that nya liked him and cole was his best friend!!! this is STILL fucking him up when s3 ends - as annoying as the scene where he gets frustrated cole is the one comforting nya after zane’s sacrifice is, i do think it matters that it’s a raw wound. it’s something that stays and bothers him all the way through s4 bc they don’t get the chance to reconcile like they usually would. and that would REALLY suck bc he knows he shouldn’t care this much bc zane is dead. they’re all mourning. he shouldn’t still be so fixated on the drama but he is and he can’t help it. and zane’s dead. it’s just a compounding of the most stressful possible social drama with the most traumatic experience any of them have been through and anyway that’s why i am bullying jay ninjago and yoinking him from his coping via syndicated television phase. also the suit is funny

[empressqueen]

Ridiculously Earnest

●Jeonhannah13 Note: I’m not a good writer especially if it’s in English damnnn lolol I do write but just in my native language so forgive me if there’s any mistake. This is dedicated to a fellow ayahina fan bc ayahina is life!!!

I dont really know what’s the focus of this short fanfic but eh Ayato being an idiot and Hinami being a tease lol That’s it lmaooo

This takes place when Ayato came back from the under under underground of the 24th Ward but eh I wrote this before things happened on manga so ofc everything is peaceful here. Anyway enjoy! For @selinaskyel sry if it’s shitty af lmao ●

—

She’s weak as a bird, fragile as a glass. She easily cries like a brat who falls on her ass.

“Ugh, what the fuck are you thinking”

He whispers as he read the short poem he just wrote. He can’t help but think about how stupid his chosen words to write dedicated to a beautiful girl who caught his eyes.

His personality is the complete opposite of her kind, loving and bright one.

He’s rough, rude and dark.

But still, this doesn’t mean that he won’t have a heart for feeling this way for her. For Hinami.

Let’s repeat that.

He has a heart. Kirishima Ayato has a heart. This edgy, young and handsome ghoul has one. And he thinks that it’ll only beat for this girl.

For the rest of his life.

Is this really love?

The smile she gave when they first met was his ticket to the ride called first crush. The time they spent as partners in every Aogiri missios was the sign for him to realize that he had started to like her. The months that passed while she was locked up in a ghoul prison made him ponder about why his heart was restless. All he wanted to do was to save her, even if it means going against Eto or Tatara. The moment they reunited, he felt like giving her a tight hug. God knew that he missed her so much but Ayato chose to give her a simple pat on the shoulder then realized that he might’ve fallen in love with her.

Why did he even choose to do that? Even Banjou hugged her. Fucking coward.

“Why am I even writing cheesy lines? It’s not like she’ll like it.” Talking to himself again and looking at his stupid writing about Hinami, who apparently a brat who fell on her ass, as his poem said.

“Who’s not gonna like it? It’s…nice.”

His shoulders and heart jump as he turns around to find the girl behind him.

Did she just read his poem?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing! Don’t know how to fucking knock?” He rudely says as he tries to hide his embarassment.

He thinks that Hinami is laughing at him in her mind.

But actually, she really is laughing in reality.

“Ayato-kun, you have a great choice of words.” She ignores his tactless mouth and smiles.

Goddammit, she’s so beautiful.

“Donľ flatter me. It’s not like I’m serious about this.” He retorts bacj as he crumples the paper. Ayato stands up fron where he’s sitting. He feels like he’s gonna attack Hinami because of how close she is.

Especially when he can’t erase in his mind the only chance he had to feel her heat when she took him back to the greenhouse.

Another chance he had to hug her and he again let it slipped.

He lays down on his bed, well if you can call this ripped mattress a bed, thinking that Hinami will take this as a hint to get out of his room, or more like cell.

“So who’s the lucky girl?” He closes his eyes as he realized that Hinami is in a good mood and looks like she’s stayinh for a while and joins him on his bed.

What the fuck? Is she fucking stupid or is she an idiot for being fucking stupid?

This is a guy’s room and she’s sitting on a guy’s bed plus she’s too close to him. It makes him think about things he shouldn’t think.

Oh, Ayato you poor boy.

“What lucky girl?” He replies trying to sound likr he’s bored to death. Actually, right now he can’t calm himself down and if he looks at her, he’ll likely get a heart attack.

Just imagining Hinami on his bed is enough to make his mind go wild.

“Ayato-kun is writing a poem for a girl. It must mean that she’s special.” She simply says and moves a little closer to his form. He feels the dip of his bed and this make him open his eyes.

Like a deer caught in the headlights.

He feels her body heat as she keeps on talking about the brat who falls on her ass. She’s laughing about how cute but stupid that girl is.

She also said something like he must really like her because he’s putting effort to write her something when it’s not his personality to do it.

Ayato wakes up from his daydreaming and sits up. This made Hinami stop.

“Hina, she means the world to me.” He mutters quietly and looks straight into her eyes. Ayato leans against the wall and sighs dreamily.

Like a girl stupidly in love.

“She’s amazing. I don’t even have the guts to tell her my feelings. She’s way too out of my league.”

All he wanted to say is her name directly.

Ayato looks at her and there she is smiling sadly at him.

Why is she sad?

“Are you okay?” He asks and she just shakes her head. He can’t help but worry about this girl who always wears a bright smile on her beautiful face.

“Ayato-kun, I’m glad that you found someone. You won’t be alone anymore.”

“Hinami.” He calls her name and she looks at him dead straight on his eyes. This made him gulp down. Just with that look, his heart is already going crazy.

“I wish I can meet her, Ayato-kun.” Again, with a sad smile on her lips he can’t help himself and reach out to her hand.

“Hinami.” He calls her again and she giggles. “Ayato-kun, you’re like my bestfriend. Of course, I want to meet this girl you really like.” She responds with the intent of teasing him. He intertwines their fingers like it’s a natural thing for them.

Bestfriend she says.

“Hinami.” This time, when Ayato calls her Hinami leans on his shoulder. His body stiffens as her heat and scent touches his senses. He feels like floating just with these simple things.

Just how much of a sucker is he for her?

“I hope I can find someone here too. Just like you did, Ayato-kun.”

When Hinami let out those words, Ayato’s self-control runs out of the room. It seems like this is a chance to hug her. To touch her more. Another chance and he’s not letting this one slide again. Not when Hinami looks really sad, for unknown reasons.

“A-ayato-kun…?”

“Hinami, you already met her. I guess you just don’t realize it.”

Hinami is confused with whatever Ayato is talking about. She tries to move so she can see his handsome face but he tightens his arms around her. She can’t help but gasp as he does this.

“Um, Ayato…kun?”

He’s now panicking inside when he realizes that he hugged her harder. How is he suppose to coolly let go now?

He doesn’t know what to do now that he got themselves into a couple-like position. Actually, they haven’t realized it at first but when there’s only two people in a closed room, well closed cell, with just their breathing and heart beating as the sound they won’t have a choice but to feel things.

Like, how she’s almost on his lap.

Fuck.

“I won’t ever leave you alone.” He randomly says as he tries to ignore the tension between them.

She slowly reaches out to him and hugs him back. Ayato feels her little hands crawl up to his neck and this time with all the touching they’ve had earlier he quietly welcomes it.

But of course, his heart can’t still calm the fuck down.

“Ayato-kun, I don’t want to be a burden to you. You can be with her and I’ll be fine by myself. I’ll support you. I’ll still be your friend.”

What the fuck is she saying?

Ayati is having an internal battle with himself ‘cause damn he wants to fucking kiss her and tell her that she is the one in the stupid poem.

But he’ll feel like digging a holr or going back to the most underground levels of the 24th Ward just to hide his cheesy-poem writing ass.

Ayato was the first one to let go but he makes Hinami look at him. He tilts her head and fuck he feels like she’s sucking his life out.

He’s nervous as fuck and damn he decides to ignore it and just feel the moment.

“Hina, you don’t understand.” He stutters a bit and now he makes a choice that it doesn’t matter.

Fuck everything because he really likes her.

Before Hinami speaks, Ayato leans and kisses her fairly on the lips. He feels her breathing stops and pulls ways as fast as he thought about finally doing it.

Hinami freezes up but recovers when Ayato poker her cheeks. Her now red cheeks.

“Ayato-kun, wha…?” Not believing what just happened, she can’t think of words.

He kissed her.

“Do you understand now?” Ayato asks Hinami as they both blush hard.

Imagine two young ghouls both with rough memories about life finds comfort in each other and falling in love together?

Hinami’s eyes grow bigger and she gapes at him. She’s been feeling weird ever since they both hit puberty. It’s like Ayato always looks good and cool.

It’s been years since she felt that and it looks like it might be because she’s crushing on him.

That’s why when she realizes that Ayato has someone he loves, she feels devastated. Since they are always together it’ll be impossible for him to like her.

Or so she thought.

In this kind of confession, this is the moment where the girl will tear up out of happiness but of course that only happens on dramas and novels.

This one is reality.

A reality for these two who found each other in the darkest times of their lives.

This moment is the time for Hinami to laugh her heart out.

Gosh, so they feel the same after all?

This made Hinami giggle as she realizes it.

Ayato frowns and pouts. Hinami finds this adorable and pinches his cheeks.

A handsome guy pouting is the cutest right?

“I’ll rewrite it.” He mumbles as she continues to laugh and blush. Hinami can’t still believe that she was the brat on his poem.

“No, I love it Ayato-kun.” She says with honesty and a contented smile on her face.

It’s true that she made fun of him earlier but she felt some jealousy for the girl Ayato wrote the poem for.

When in reality, the brat who cries as shevfalls on her ass is her.

“Ayato-kun, were you serious?” She asks him as the tension between them continues. Ayato keeps on darting away his eyes from her. His secret is now out and he’s waiting for Hinami to reject it.

“I…I…am.” he answers shortly for he still feel nervous. Hinami can’t stop smiling and she’s clearly enjoying how Ayato looks like melting with embarassment.

“Ayato-kun, can you write me a poem?” He stops looking antsy then eyes her with a horrified look.

“You want me to continue the poem?” He asks unsure of what to say next. Hinami smiles and nods eagerly at him. Somehow he finds this cute.

But wait he thinks that she\s always beautiful and cute.

Fuck she’s so adorable.

It makes him think about what other expressions she can show to him. In their private time, if ever they become a real couple.

Ayato thinks that maybe if he continue it, Hinami will believe that she is the one he’s writing the cheesy poem for. He wants to prove that he’s serious especially when Hinami seems to doubt his feelings.

We;;, that’s what he thinks.

Hinami trusts Ayato.

It’s just that this timid girl finds the flustered version of him funny. She’s teasing him.

he’s willing to look even more stupid just to make her believe that he is being serious about her.

“Sure.” Ayato already feels like a fool as he agrees with her but fired up. Even if it means looking like an idiot, he will gladly accept it.

For Hinami. 

Everything is for Hinami.

Few days passed and Ayato os feeling uneasy. He dropped off the paper at Hinami’s cell earlier this day which contains his stupid 4 lines poem dedicated to her.

He’s been waiting for her reaction all day and now it’s nighttime. Ayato sits on the highest place in the underground. When it’s this high, he can quietly relax.

But the relaxing moment stops there when he hears her adorable laughter.

Ayato looks behind him and there he finds Hinami holding the paper.

“You read it?” he asks trying to stay calm as possible but looks away. Maybe he’s really having a hard time feeling like an idiot.

A fool for love.

A fool for Hinami.

“Yes.” Hinami answers him and takes a sit beside the idiot.

Her idiot.

“I love it, Ayato-kun.” she confesses while wearing a big grin on her beautiful face. Ayato blushes and frowns, very Ayato-like. She leans on his shoulder and links their arms together.

“So you believe me now?” he asks curiously, trying to hide his excitement but he doesn’t realize that he’s swinging his legs.

Gosh, he’s so cute!

Ayato smiles when she nods.

So this is what falling in love feels like. No wonder his older sister looks stupidly happy and contented with that half-assed bastard.

“She’s weak as a bird, fragile like a glass.

She easily cries like a brat who falls on her ass.

She may be a wimp, tender like human’s meat.

She’s my clover girl who gives luck on my sorry shit.”

Ayato’s eyes widens as Hinami recites his poem filled with love. He tries to grab it from her but for some reason he can’t bring himself to be rough on Hinami.

Maybe some other time and more…privately?

he tries again but Hinami stands up and raises her arms. As if Ayato won’t be able to reach that height. He smirks cockily and stands in front of her.

The distance makes their cheeks blush and they stare at each other with their eyes looking at the depths of their souls.

This seems to make Hinami emotional and tears fall from her eyes. Ayato beams at his clover girl and god, he’ll love to kiss her tears even every inch of her pale skin.

Words aren’t even needed in this kind of time. Looking at the eyes of your loved one is enough.

“Can I?” Ayato inquires as he traces her lips slowly with his delicate but rough fingers. Hinami shivers as she feels his heat coming from it. 

God, what a heavy and luscious tension between these two.

“Sure.” she entusiastically nods and let him lead. Well, when it comes to these things, surely Ayato will be the one who will always initiate but it would be nice to let her too, right?

The meek girlfriend over the brash boyfriend.

Yotsume over Black Rabbit.

Sounds appealing.