#alright now for the tags

[miraculousbohemian]

Found a Vine site while procrastinating so I'll bless you with this thing.

Gabrielle: Xena, oh my gods...

Xena: what??

Gabrielle: Is that a hickey?

Xena: What? No, it's my Pop Tart, I was saving it for later. *eats it*

Ares, yelling into a valley: PENIS

Also Ares: *trips over a bag of McDonald's*

Joxer: Who's coming to my party on Saturday, there's gonna be a taco guy there.

Ares: we're going to Aphrodite's, there's gonna be a spaghetti guy there.

Joxer: fuck the spaghetti guy.

Ares: fuck you.

Leah: Yeah, that's the bee's knees.

Meg: The cat's pajamas!

Diana: ...the chicken's trousers???

Meg: what the fuck was that diana.

Leah: you guys, come on-

Random dude: yeah, I actually gave my horse swim lessons

Xena: oh that's cool dude... My horse gave me swim lessons.

Dude: what.

Xena: she's a life guard.

Con man: so you'll do it?

Joxer, sipping a drink: yeah man I'll kill him

Con man: for how much?

Joxer: *fucking around and about to find out* i dunno, 30?

Con man: Thirty grand?

Joxer: *spits out drink*

Ares: so i invite my dad to my birthday party and he shows up, but only to take a shit and leave. what's up with that?

Xena: hey guys, happy Ares Sucks Thursday!

Ares: what's Ares Sucks Thursday?

Gabrielle: why would we ever tell you ares.

Xena: and you wrote here that you were an assassin?

Eve: yes sir.

Xena: h-h-how? how many confirmed kills do you-

Xena: yo dude. we can talk with our minds now so we'll be in each other's heads.

Ares: forever?

Xena: exactly bitch.

Ares: ...oh no.

*pop*

S6 Gabrielle: I'm you from the future

S1 Gabrielle: YEAH OBVIOUSLY BITCH

S6 Gabrielle: I don- I don't remember acting like that-

(if ares wasn't a girlfail in S5EP17/18 I can't remember the one with fake death hijinks)

Eve: mom, dad, why isn't Argo moving?

Xena and Gabrielle: *share a look*

Gabrielle: Argo killed herself.

Xena: killed herself, honey.

S1 Gabrielle: alright, so your total will be 2.29 dinars and a kiss on the lips

S1 Xena: no.

S1 Gabrielle: hah. yes.

Julius: wow me in five seconds, go.

Xena: waddup my name's Xena, I'll stab you if you do not hire me and i love horses

Julius: ...i guess you're hired.

Xena: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY?!

Gabrielle: hey, we think school maths sucks so we made our own, show 'em Eve

Eve: alright, so, instead of, like, numbers we use trees

Aphrodite: hey everybody today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less.

Gabrielle: how much money would you give me to fall asleep right now?

Xena, visibly sleep deprived: I dunno, like a billion dinars?

Gabrielle, internally: i woke up the next morning, a billionaire.

Meg: can I use the restroom?

Leah: i don't know, can you?

Meg, getting up: yeah

Leah: where are you going?

Meg: I'm gonna go poop.

Meg: stop copying me

Xena: stop copying me

Meg: I'm gay.

Xena: you are?

Meg: I've been waiting so long to tell you

Xena: it's okay man-

(first two are it's just luke, others are Josh Kennedy, both from Vine)

[pillowspace]

GIRLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT CYERCE ELEGANS

If Cyerce nigricans is a butterfly, then this is a fairy... Cyerce nigricans for comparison:

[obsmiechujek]

anyway hows your day been

[seafoamsol]

Violence!

[killersnotmonster]

Saw III — deleted scene

[primeillust]

i got more ill about him since you last saw me

[sun-e-chips]

We love an oblivious y/n

y/n: ( Aww, they really prioritize their guests and making their experience more personal <3

WP Sun: ( Isn’t it amazing!!! Do you love it? :D Don’t you wanna stay here forever :DDD

[starlostfish]

“…I want to hear you say it aloud.”

very late 2/2 drawing :’]

Hiiiiiiiii im feeling better! I hope you’re all feeling well!

[paradoxbeta]

big sister moon

[28ms28]

A 28ms28 f1 text post upload in this economy??

[mcnyoom]

another race week another F1 text posts dump (part 1 here)

[elderwisp]

STILL GOIN ꩜ tessellate returns october eighth

[skrimbloz]

Tonight’s doodle :3 (aka cunty ginger round two)

[la-brielle]

almost there again (almost)

.

grief

[sandflakedraws]

actually y'all can have the bounty hunter design i came up with for the winged AU too.

shoutout to orville peck for bringing awareness to one of the best mask designs on the planet

small flickory bonus under the cut

[the-goddess-of-gays]

*at some random café after an OG trio quest* Percy: ...so after that, we had to climb over the bob wire, right? And then– Annabeth: Hold up. Did you just say 'bob wire'? Percy: Yeah, that spiky shit, y'know? Bob wire! Grover: Bob? As in, short for Robert? Robert wire? Annabeth: Robert wi– You actually think it's called Robert wire?? Percy: Well, what do you call it? Grover: It's BARB wire! Like, Barbara wire, not BOB wire! Percy: What? Since when? WHY? Annabeth: Oh my gods. You guys. It's called BARBED wire. Because it has BARBS. BARBED wire. Grover: Oh. Annabeth: Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. Fuck this. I need another coffee.