#alright im gonna sleep
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Okay listen, I think Blade needs to be taken away from me. I havenāt had as much sleep this week and the sheer evolution in my obsession with him has become concerning
He is haunting my every waking thought, pls send help
All I can think about is stuff like how much more it hurts me, like intense psychic damage, when people say āBlade is Yingxing!ā than when people arguing the same with Dh and Df because of how strongly the disconnect is emphasized. How Blade gave himself his name, after his rebirth as Jingliu said. How his character stories say Yingxing died his first and only death and how they immediately follow that up with Bladeās inability to connect with Yingxingās past goals and passions. How, while he does take on the responsibility of his sins as his own due toā¦ thatās how karma works ofc, there are still places where he is referred to as separately from Yingxing whether by the text or even by himself. How that disconnect with Yingxing is likely not only in part due to the ātrue deathā and the mara affecting him and his mental state, but also the self dehumanization instilled into him by Jingliu during their lessons. And so, so many other thingsā¦
Or thinking about how, his whole outlook regarding their sin is literally directly from Jingliu and what she taught him while yāknow, immensely traumatizing him through hundreds of deaths. Hundreds of deaths where it likely wasnāt an instant death given the thousands of times he was stabbed and the course of his entire first character story. Like, when you stop to think about just how much of how we see him currently is directly the result of Jingliu (and ofc, overall this all happened bc of the sin they committed which influenced her actions and his very existence, like jesus christ why is his lore so depressing), how you can see reflections in the way he treats/addresses Dan Heng and their shared sin to the way Jingliu does. Literally the fact that āOf five people, three must pay a price.ā is Jingliuās mantra and even after hundreds of years, he still follows it. UGH Sorry this is all word dump I know this is probably not coherent, I really need to sleep but trust I could keep ranting about this topic and how meaningful the disconnect between YX and Blade is and how painful it is to even see ppl insist Bld is Yx sometimes like-
Or, yāknow, thinking about what would have happened to him if Jingliu never found him. Who could have found him next? Where would he have ended up? Where did he wake up in the first place? Would he have gone on living a new life, without any knowledge of who he had once been given he woke up without even knowing his own name? Would he adopt a new name at some point, either given to him by someone he eventually met or chosen himself after hearing othersā tales and histories? Would the Stellaron Hunters still have come for him given his connection to one of the Nameless? I mean, Kafka said it was his immortality and swordsmanshipā¦ if he never learned to wield a sword with Jingliu, would someone else have been destined to be a Stellaron Hunter in his place? Would any happiness be possible for him at all in a life like that? Since eventually he might see the people around him die and fade while he remains eternally youthful, if he ended up finding short life species at least. And eventually his memories would still catch up to him, whether the past mixing with the present or just his current memories since that seems to be how short life species are able to be mara struck. All via memories. Just how much would his destiny have changed? (Ngl, might make this into an au idea since I have brainrot, but Iām not sure if I need the added pain)
And yāknow for good measure, why donāt I just keep thinking about how his primary reason for wanting to finally die and rest is, I mean a big mix of factors, but especially because of the sheer pain he lives in every single day. That pain that only goes away for a brief moment when he is killed, before he is drenched in it again. Perhaps not even just solely the horrible physical pains he has, but the pain and mental anguish of even being mara struck at all. Itās sad to think about, especially since it seems the only ending, at least thatās somewhat happy, for him is one where he can finally die and stay dead like ouch. OW! Thanks Hoyoverse for fucking up my brain chemistry with your emotional punching bag.
#that last thing hits hard#as someone who doesnt go a day without some kind of pain on my body no matter what i do#stansing up for too long? horrific pain. sitting down for too long? horrific pain. carrying things#moving your hands#moving your neck? all horrific pain#blade making me reflect on my own lifeand my own relationship with my chronic pain#its not good fellas free me from this#anyways#UGH#i love him so much#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr blade#alright im gonna sleep
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iām just gonna shut my mouth but know that i have many thoughts about this
source
#alright alright alright#IM GONNA LIC- [gunshot sound]#vessel#sleep token vessel#sleep token#m speaks
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deku x reader - succession!au, uhhhhh............... deku has a thought abt parenthood. it's bad.
(warning - short, talk of pregnancy but no actual gender of reader mentioned, mild talk of stds, drugs, sleeping around.... etc.?)
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āI want a baby,ā your boss, Deku, the near-CEO of media conglomerate AllMightco, says randomly one day, halfway through your lunch break (that he demanded you spend with him), and in the middle of your well-earned silence after a long conversation about whether Bakugo needs antidepressants.
You can only gape at his words, close but not too close to where heās seated at one of the little armchairs he has in his office for any business casual meetings that require somewhere cozy to sit in spite of any fighting words that may be spit (and for fucking, youāre rather quite aware).
āMaybe itād beā¦ good for me. I love kids and, I think, I think,ā he continues, stuttering like he always does when heās nervous, excited, high, his tone questioning despite his making of it a statement. āit would give me a break from work?ā
All you can do is laugh at the question, dryly, in disbelief, unsure of whether heās being serious or just sharing some secret, wistful dream. You decide to tell him the truth either way.
āYou canāt have a baby just because you want time off.ā
He ignores you, though.
āI have all this money, and what forā¦?ā he waves his shaky hands, āI could have a family. Iād change diapers and buy toys and take them to the beach.ā
(Though just last week, he was fighting the board for more funds, screaming in that raspy voice he always develops after working through the night that heād give up any and all vacation time for the foreseeable future if it meant keeping Toshinori Yagi in a position, any position, at the company for the next five years.)
You throw your laptop aside and stand up from your wilted salad and grapefruit soda thatās now sweating on the coffee table to walk around the edges of his desk. You throw a leg over one sharp corner, the exposed part of your ankle brushing his knee as you address him directly.
āAnd who would be having this child, Deku?ā you ask. āAn ex? A surrogate? Ochaāā
He gives you those eyes, slouching down into himself, reaching out to pull your butt of his table and grip the back of your thighs to pull you in between his legs. You can feel the length of his overgrown green curls brushing your fingertips as you put your hands on his stiff shoulders to keep yourself from falling right into him.
āMe? Izuku,ā you clarify, (though you always call him Deku), āme? What do you think? Iām just gonna say yes, no warning, no nothing? Weāre not even dating, sweetie.ā
āand just last week Kirishima offered to drive you to the clinic with him to tested, though youāre not going to bring that up now, even if you know Deku already knows youāre sleeping around. He is too.
He closes his eyes, resting the back of his head against the heavy, red leather of his office chair. The stubble on his face is more noticeable than ever; he even has a little knick under his chin from shaving, and you move to brush your thumb against it as he swallows thickly.
āIām just tired,ā he says, blinking his dark lashes into the bags under his eyes,
āI know, baby. But a child is not way to fix thatā you say. The for anyone part, you just think.
Deku pouts. He sighs. Then his face relaxes and he sags, his hands falling off you to lay limp in his lap, the silence in the room stretching like salt water taffy from the pier.
#deku x reader#deku#izuku midoriya x reader#i stopped watchin succession at like. halfway into season 4#and i just decided to start watching again and ofc i thought of this immediately#short but HOW'D I DO????#hows my writing lol#lots of ppl following me#anyway i uh.....#and ofc bakugo overhears u and todoroki somehow has the same idea as deku#it's A LOT#but i thought add that would make it tacky#and all the other dialogue i thogught of too#anyway gonna shower take a look at this again to make sure its alright and then GO TO SLEEP#my roommates sister is visiting and its my other roommates birthdat and i feel like im chained to them ... help#im dam sick of being nice to them#caitie post#caitie things#gen#succession au
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Day 20: aaauughfgsgxgvnnfgjnd
#rambled in these tags sorry its been a long day#toontown corporate clash#pacesetter#graham ness payser#ok i said in my last post that todays was gonna be another prompt but i do not have the mental energy for that rn#like i stayed up all night even though i knew i had somewhere to be (i tried to sleep it didnt work my sleep cycle was fucked)#then i took a two or something hour nap cus i knew i would be out all day and then i was out and social for EIGHT HOURS#so yeah my brain is pretty fried from that#my shoes were really uncomfortable too and i was standing for most of it so uh oww#im doing alright btw this drawing is more of an exaggerated projection but i think i needed it right now#also fun fact most of the drawings on this account do have sketches made for them. this isn't one of them i wanted it to be a bit more jank#i need to sleep now bye jgsdkajgjk
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Ok, this is mostly bc I realized we've only seen Sally being passive, but how is she able to hypothetically rip apart larger puppets limb from limb? (if the captions with Howdy hold water with other puppets)
(Slight Mutilation Warning Ahead: Puppet Edition)
they absolutely hold So Much water! it's a combination of a couple things!
a) Nightlight!Sally is really Strong. i'd liken to her to a chimp, as much as i hate them. despite being smaller than people, they're absurdly powerful. when it comes to Her, this comes from a mix of hysterical strength and something Else i've been pondering but don't want to solidify yet, so shh dont worry bout it. it's also much easier to tear fleece & cotton/stuffing than, uh, Biological materials.
b) none of the puppets are really prepared for violence? they've lived in an idyllic world where true, visceral violence likely hasn't even been a Thought in anyone's minds. like, you watch videos of people get attacked by like... raccoons or rats and they visibly Lose because they panic! they aren't prepared! they don't wanna fight! so the much smaller creature wins. They Don't Know How To Fight, Or Fight Back.
b.1) also, Nightlight!Sally is still... Sally. she's still their dear friend. i know that if a close friend attacked me, i'm not sure i'd be able to bring myself to do much other than defend/flee. i wouldn't wanna hurt them even if it meant protecting myself. hence why Wally avoids all confrontation with her & can't protect his friends from her. he can't hurt his neighbor.
b.2) there's also the shock factor. imagine you wake up from a pleasant dream to an absolute nightmare reality. Boom, automatically thrown way off your rhythm. then one of your close buddies looks Fuckin Weird, Are You Okay? and other crazy shit is happening! you're freaking out!! then your Close Friend Who's Off is suddenly slashing at you and BOOM, your arm's gone & your entire brain is scrambled from shock and fear and "?!?!?!?!?!". plus, i doubt the puppets know they're full of stuffing. seeing yourself sliced open and white fluff spilling out has gotta be just. so Unpleasant on principle.
c):
CLAWS BABEY! RIP TEAR AND SHRED! those sharp grippers are perfect for piercing and ripping! puppet fleece is Paper to her!
her fighting method is attack wildly until the threat stops making noise! it's very hard to defend oneself from it! imagine those cartoon bits where a cat attacks someone and its just a Flurry of Unbeatable Violence
#if it helps. barnaby goes back to sleepytown immediately after this#so he's safe. as safe as he can be.#i would Also like to note that to My Interpretation/Understanding the puppets can't feel actual pain#i believe this for several reasons!#but for this au specifically im gonna make that a thing for Different Reasons on top of the Main Reasons#anyway anyway#the barnaby-sally attack in my head happens Directly after he tries to help her#its already a chaotic scene but he thinks theres something wrong with her for Obvious Reasons#and runs to her to try and snap her out of her apparent daze#and then WHAM arms gone. barely gets a chance to process#meanwhile wally is hiding curled into a little ball with his hands over his ears#bc he Cant Help and he Doesnt Want To Listen#if this makes you sad! oops! sorry! i have a softer scribble queued up for later today if that makes up for it#wh lights out au#scribble salad#i am Also taking into consideration clown's post about the neighbors playing splatoon. iykyk <3#alright its 6 am im going to sleep#meant to pass out Hours ago but that didnt happen!#ah fuck wait cant sleep yet starships just started playing. ninki minjaj...
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the tiniest moves you make (watching my whole world shake) (4.7k) (E)
Relationship: Max Verstappen/Charles Leclerc
Tags: Domestic Smut, Boypussy, my first chussy fic!!, Vaginal Sex, Established Relationship, Max Verstappen's Tits, Come Eating
Summary:
All of Charles' being is focused on watching a singular droplet slide down Maxās neck, making its way down the curve of his chest before coming to a stop at Maxās nipple, hanging off of it.
Charles doesnāt think twice. He lurches forward and wraps his lips around it.
OR:
Max is really fucking hot and Charles must fuck him every time he's reminded of the fact. Also, this is Charles showing us his 'praise kink but it's me praising my boyfriend' kink
Read on Ao3
#my fic#f1 rpf#lestappen#max verstappen#charles leclerc#f1 fic#alright im gonna post this n try to sleep#i hope u guys like it#<3 <3#hopefully i have not forgotten how to write smut in the last 5 months
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Something different today! :D
(now to preface, I'm not an artist so I'm a lil nervous, I just like colouring books)
My 1st page of the linked universe colouring book done.
The line art (Is that right? I think that's the word) is done by the wonderful @beyondtheglowingstars (Or supernova)
I fell in love with your Sky piece and just knew it had to be my first page to colour. The line art was just so soft and lovely and I love Sky and Crimson so much they are beloved.
Hope if its alright if I put it up on my wall. :D
Thank you for drawing this for the colouring book, it's amazing!
Alternative lighting under cut
#linked universe#lu sky#linkeduniverse#linked universe fan art#supernova art#linked universe colouring book#Supernova beloved!#/pl of course#(If thats alright?)#:D#I saw this page and got paper so i could print it i love them dearly#I'm not an artist#at all#but i had fun!#Its gonna go on the wall#but im probably gonna laminate it first#i stayed up to colour it cause its just brought so much joy to my life#its 1.50 i need to sleep lol#thank you again!#Colouring book corner
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mann im going to get my blood reports tomorrow and im lwk scared
#mostly it's fine but i looked up this medicine the doc prescribrd me and she said it's for weight loss#but i looked it up and everywhere it said it's for type 2 diabetes#to control blood sugar levels when it's so wildly out of control that nothing is fixing it#why would she give me that??? i mean im obviously gonna ask but tab tak ki anxiety bhai#i have barely processed the fact that pcod is a chronic illness which means im going to have it forever im mostly avoiding thinking about#it cause it feels too big and unbearable#diabetes would be fucking wild man im 21 years old#i am doing so terrible in not turning out to be like my dad lol i want to cry#i just hate hate hate this so much#like i was trying really fucking hard but depression wasn't getting fixed and i kept eating sleeping being in bed all day#like how can one illness cause another be frr man give me a break š#and i cannot even officially say depression i just sorta googled thr symptoms and relate to them most days but not everyday#so like#what is all this for#ugh goodnight i hope i wake up and it's all alright#i don't want to be a calorie counting sweet avoiding freak i love chocolate
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OH LEMME TELL YOU BOUT THE SAD MAN
SHUT UP AND LEMME SEE YOUR JAZZ HANDS
REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A MADMAN?
THOUGHT YOU WAS BATMAN
AND HIT THE PARTY WITH A GAS CAN
KISS ME YOU ANIMAL
#that can be a poem#POETRY#literal poetry#im sleepy#itās 7am and i havenāt slept at all tonight#but itās okay because i have my chem#mcr#my chem#my chemical romance#danger days#na na na#emo#spotify#emo music#DRUGS GIMME DRUGS GIMME DRUGS#I DONT NEED IT BUT ILL TAKE WHAT YOU GOT#TAKE THE CASH AND ILL HIT IT EIGHT LEGS TO THE WALL#HIT THE GAS KILL EM ALL#alright iām gonna sleep now#im eepy#GOODNIGHT EMOS
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GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#IT'S 3AM#HELP#I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING ANYMORE#BUT IM TRYING#TRYING TO GET HIS FACE TO LOOK RIGHT#BC I WAS DOING LIKE A REALLY COOL ART OF HIM AND THEN FUCKED UP THE FACE COMPLETELY SO I WAS LIKE ALRIGHT ITS PRACTICE TIME#SO HERE I AM#THIS WILL PROBABLY LOOK BETTER IN THE MORNING#(AT LEAST I HOPE SO)#NOT SAYING ITS UGLY JUST NOT SURE IF IT LOOKS R I G H T#DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN#DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT I MEAN#??????????????#ALRIGHT TIME TO SLEEP#WHY DOES HE LOOK SO DIFFERENT EVERY TIME IM TRYING TO DRAW HIM LIKE YOU SEE WHO IT IS BUT SOMETHINGS OFF EVERY TIMEEE?????#ALRIGHT GOODNIGHT BECAUSE IF I SIT HERE ANY LONGER ITS GONNA BE GOOD MORNING SOON#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3
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DOODLEPAGE COMMISSION CREATED FOR THE WONDERFUL @reallybelt do YOU want me to draw you a doodlepage of your blorbo? im still doing commissions!! more information here. cmon down!! get em before the 15th when they put me down witha really big hammer
#cw gore#cw blood#NOT SURE WHAT ELSE TO TAG THIS AS....#but i WILL SAY OUH MY GGOOODD THIS ONE KICKED MY ASS FOR A MINUTE.. drawing guns is so hard....#im RLY HAPPY N PROUD WITH IT ALL THO.... i love the lil birdies...#ALSO BELT UR CHARACTER IS JUST RLY COOL N INTERESTING TOO#THEIR WHOLE BACKSTORY IS SO INTRIGUING AND TRAGIC...#im prouda the mildewy effect i did for the bg aswell.. ALSO prouda my line work just in general#im also very happy w the blood and gore n such#i LOVE a good sliced eye ball!!! i also enjoy the detail of the glass eye not being as bloodshot or expressive as the other eye#alright uuhh uhh what else do i even say here.. its 2 am and im sleeepyyy im sleepy im falling asleeeep imm gonna go to bed now.#love you guys sleep well#also PLEASE feel free to commission me. could REALLY use the money. got big things coming
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I know that this is a commercial but I didn't know that Lars and James are dating--
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decided to leave my laptop home for once this morning and it just so happens the be the day i end up with enough energy to write š
#alright roadtrip fic ill be writing you in my phones notes for the time being#im still considering whoās going IN the rv but we write on until my hands decide rhat for me#mari says#most LARGE RVās sleep 8 sp its likeā¦ i want ume and hiragi and suo and nirei and sakura and sugi#THATS 6 ALREADY#i was gonna have a separate van w/ tsubaki kotoha and a few others so i think im gonna juggle them between the two vehicles?#currently reading RV specs and looking at layouts cause im insane#if anyone wants to shoot me ideas or talk abt it with me by all means hmu#it always sounds super fun to talk to people abour what ur writing
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never have i been so entirely exhausted from sitting in front of a laptop in a dark room for three hours gay! and so full of delight and happiness! like wow! i have not felt this good in ages!! and its a good kind of tired! i feel like im glowing!
but shit, the update is more than i could've dreamed of. like i said - three straight hours of combing, and i probably still missed a thing or two! i'm even saving the storytime audio to enjoy in the morning, i haven't listened to it yet!
i already have so many thoughts and emotions but i'm... so wiped out oh my god lmao. so much new stuff at once! i need to sleep on it all! and in the morning i will be more than happy to reply, interact, answer asks on this subject, share my actual thoughts - i just need to take the rest of the night to Process and rest, yk yk
and i know i "missed" some links on my liveblog! i know i know! i didn't add every single thing i found - like most of the Wally audios - because i'll be compiling them all into a labeled post tomorrow! when i wake up! i'm already looking forward to it <3 i'm confident i personally found all of them, though! i was Thorough! i went through everything at least twice, i tabbed through, i clicked on Everything...
but yes i hope you all are having a wonderful Update Day/Evening/Morning/Afternoon As The Case May Be. this is truly a delight and again, more than i could've dreamed of. i'd forgotten what it's like to be so wholly excited and delighted by something! it's been so long since i've felt this kind of genuine joy and whimsy! usually im white-knuckling my optimism and happiness but tonight it was all authentic 100% non-forced From The Soul!
#a very exciting day of Not Much Happening and then Everything At Once#the constant (joyous) stress over the update and then the intense euphoria of experiencing it....#very very exhausted i have no energy left in me for literally anything#a sleep will fix that though#and ill be back to Chatter and Ramble#absolutely unprompted#scribble salad#i cant believe we're only at the very beginning... there is already So Much!#so much good stuff! incredible stuff! monumental work! i literally cant fathom that this is the Tip of the iceberg! what the fuck!#but thats something to swoon over another day#we have the update!#a plethora of audio clips and new information to chew on!#but yes yes i will make a tumblr post with all of the links#in order! labeled! for your convenience and viewing and reblogging pleasure!#and a different post with my personal thoughts and emotions! i have many!#alright yes stepping away from the laptop now#water. teeth. cats. sleep. yes. totally going to do that.#i already know im gonna lay down get cozy and then my eyes are gonna Fly Open. Wide Awake#perhaps i should take some melatonin lol#i want to be able to wake up in a timely manner Well Rested and ready to compile!!!#a melatonin night it is!#but yes i hope you all are having fun!!!#feel free to shoot me asks and such! i am more than happy to Respond and Discuss!#i will be making my main posts / sharing my thoughts before answering anything tho lol i will say that now#that way i can say my piece#and then if i get any asks about something ive already covered i can just Link the Post!#for ease of all of us <3#but yes goodnight!!!#i cant wait to scribble and talk and AGH!!!#to clown and everyone working on welcome home you guys are the fucking most and its just. its everything
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sugar water by flower face
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#this is the 4th installment of 'making edits to every song from the album 'shark in your water' to jackieshauna'#guys weve come so far im so proud#only like. Idk 6 more songs to go? not sure but I WILL do it.#anyways so I dont fully like this one. like I think it's good its an alright edit#but doesnt live up to my standards. but Idk what i couldve done to make it better just yet soo#mostly i dont like the ending (the song is like 3mins with an amazing solo but I didnt have any ideas for that)#but I am very proud of the like fast parts#notably 'he likes to keep me half way out' and 'he's got a sharp twist no he's wicked in the heart etc'#REALLY proud of yk girls like me weve got a slow pulse. TRUTH#lol I always use that for anything that has to do with sleeping/cold ive come to realize#just like the bridge is synonym for dreaming Idk why#mine art tag#omg also love the float up to the sky part#the beginning not though which sucks bc the beginning is definitionally (?) the first thing ppl see.#BEAR WITH ME IT GETS GOOD#anyways this was the firdt song in which i had like any problems with the lyrics. curious#still loved making it#i have SO many ideas but I cant rlly make two edits at the same time like I hab to finish one and then I can start the other ones#soo youre gonna get them but probably after the shark in you water thing is donee#stay tuned gamers#mitos incredible life#jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water
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#man . i hadnt realised how long it had been since i cried like that . Ow#sorry for . being sad on main so often these past 2 days i just#the loneliness never fucking leaves huh . jesus . i understand the meaning of soulcrushing rn . my chest hurts#need to try to not get stuck in this feeling but my god it's so hard . it's so fucking hard . god i'm so lonely#and the worst thing is i'm actually not !!! i have wonderful friends both irl and online . god i love yall so fucking much#but man . high school fucked me up BADDDDD#what the fuck ever . im allowing myself 10 more minutes of this and then im gonna watch a funny youtube video and then im gonna write .#or go to sleep . at 9pm its fine#auhg . sorry if u read this far . im Alright i just . bad brain day#and the only way to get it out is to post it on here . rip#s.txt
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